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#No you didn't love me. I was just a person you felt safe with because I would never criticize you
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and on steven............. i can't even express how gross it felt to see the ways people reached to ruin his name and abuse him online. demonic behavior.
i didn't start watching watcher bc of steven, i'm gonna be honest. but his content, character, and yes, his mere influence on the company is one of the biggest reasons watcher came to be one of my favorite youtube channels.
i fell in love with steven and his content through dish granted, the way he poured in all his creative effort and know-how so that he could give his friends and loved ones a special, personalized, larger-than-life meal. i thought it was so sweet, and that show is actually one my favorites on the channel.
i still remember how impressed i was to hear steven had proposed to his now-wife with a lab-grown diamond ring, bc he intentionally wanted something more sustainable.
i remember steven's speech for his unforgettable gala award, the way he listed out the asian content creators who came before him, who shaped the space and influenced him. he carried himself with humility, respect, and reverence for the past, and i thought it was extremely admirable.
i remember the "making watcher" episode where shane and ryan outright said that steven was the reason for watcher's survival. how steven stepped up to handle the business side of things when nobody else could. of course the guy isn't a businessman. he's a creative. but he stepped away from his own passions to make sure their company could stay afloat.
and did you notice how many employees at watcher are asian? these folks are damn talented, damn good at their jobs. i don't have direct proof of this, but i just know that steven had a hand in making watcher an incredibly safe and inclusive place to work for asian folks and other minorities. and as an asian viewer, i could feel that influence in the videos. i can feel the care watcher takes to make inclusive content, to make content that feels like the people behind it care. for watcher, "asian" isn't a buzzword someone slaps onto a video to make it sound interesting. it's cultural, it's natural, it's loving. i can't explain it but i feel that distinction and it carries the same exact energy steven does in his videos.
so it was incredibly wild and surreal to have fans try their best to tear all of that down, because he misspoke in the announcement video and... he drives a tesla? i don't even have to touch on that because people know how inconsequential that is to the matter at hand. i don't know how else to make you believe that steven driving a tesla is not an indication of him being evil or an immoral level of wealthy. like be for fucking real, please.
i have never felt so disconnected with this community than i did watching people attack steven for business decisions made by multiple grown-ass people. i will never look at this community the same way i did before. i know all this time, people were jumping for a reason to villainize steven. and nobody can convince me i don't know why.
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silvershiningtarot · 2 days
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💋👅💋PAC: What Is Destiny Between You and Your FS in This Lifetime?
Disclaimer: These are all SEVEN PILES. About your Destiny with you and Your FS. Remember this is just a general Reading. So take a chance to breathe in and out and meditate on these SEVEN piles.
Pile 1 🌅 Pile 2 🤭 Pile 3 👋🏽
PILE 4 🙈 Pile 5 🥲 Pile 6 💋
PILE 7 🔮
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Pile 1: The dynamic between you and Your FS seems to be a mutual understanding. I’m sensing that y’all destiny in this lifetime. You two will go on vacation a lot. I hear “tropical island.” someplace on the island you two will go away a lot. Some of you or your spouses are submissive or I'm getting submissive dominance. Again, your spouse can be just a submissive kind of person. There isn’t anything wrong with that honestly. Haha, I can see a few of you being submissive to your FS. I think they bring this side of you that you let your guard down with them. I heard “safe with them”. You are safe with them. I was right! In this lifetime, you two will feel at home with each other. I told you that comfortability. This is part of y’all destiny. Remember this is just the energy for right now. But the two of you will feel right at home together. I'm hearing “This is where the heart belongs.” no matter what you both have an unbreakable bond and an unbreakable connection as well. So I think your FS or you might be Co-dependence on each other. I feel that It can be healthy. So let's see how you guys handle the ups and downs in y'all dynamic. Wow ❕ if some of y’all don't know what Cloud 9 love is then do your research. But wow 😮 you two will make each other very happy. That's crazy I didn't use my tarot cards but I'm seeing in my head the Ten Of Cups. In the beginning, I feel that it's gonna be mutual between you two. I am sensing that a few of you will have a beautiful mutual connection with your FS. There's a mutual feeling with you both. Both of you will know what each other is thinking. You have a telepathic connection. Both of you will finish each other sentences. This is a deep spiritual romance, which means that you two share a deep bond and you two travel to see each other. If some of you have seen y'all FS in y'all dreams before. Wow, your husband/wife will spoil the shit out of you. I see them buying expensive clothes, jewelry, and Teddy 🧸. I can see you crying cutely because maybe nobody ever did that for you but I feel that you two will pamper each other. I think that your FS likes to be pampered. They just like that. Haha 🙈. I believe that A Few of you will be dating your FS quickly. I am hearing in the next two weeks. So two weeks of getting to know each other then bam you guys going on vacation together, ice 🍨 and having a fun time. I believe that you two will move in together. That's part of y’all destiny in this lifetime. Okay, I had a vision that I saw you two on the couch, I can see them I'm a little nervous 😰 about asking you out. I heard them say “I never felt this way before.” for some of you I can see it. Woah, I had another vision of seeing them buying you a bouquet of flowers, and they are walking up to your front porch wearing a suit and tie and telling you how they feel about you. Aww, I keep seeing the bouquet 💐. Beautiful. Both of you will be doing a lot of inner child healing. This dynamic reminds me of Joan and Ellis in a sense. If you guys remember that show Girlfriends. Watch their kind of dynamic. So I believe that you two are meant to heal a lot together. Maybe, you two will watch TV shows both of you used to watch when you were kids. I'm feeling that. Your Spouse is your soulmate whether it is a friend or family but I'm getting a sense that they are soul family and best friend. Look how fast you two got comfortable with each other. Breath Of Fresh Air This is y'all new beginning. You'll feel better and awaken whenever you are around your FS and Vice versa. Wow 😯 a lot of times you two will skip work and missed out a lot of responsibilities. For example: Your husband/wife supposed to work around 9 AM but turn off their alarm clock. I feel that you both are gonna be doing that. Especially, when it comes to business. That’s why I feel like you two will skip out on work and other responsibilities. Oh yeah, manipulative female maybe, they'll be a manipulative Female in your FS life, or y'all lives. I sense that this female could be gaslighting y'all dynamics. Maybe, it could be jealousy.
Maybe, your FS used to sleep with this lady or hang out with them. I'm getting a third-party situation here but it isn't going to last long. In this dynamic, I can see that your FS will be flirting with you or you'll be flirting with them. Aww, how cute is that? They'll be making corny jokes. Finding ways to make you laugh. They'll be doing anything to impress you. Oh yeah, I had a little vision I can see it right now. So I see you two in the park eating ice cream. I can see them making an ice cream joke. They just put their head down while blushing. Haha 😂 I can see it. It's adorable. Rubbing your thighs or rubbing theirs. I feel that you'll notice that your FS likes you. Yes! Some of you will lose your virginity to your FS. But for a Few Of you, I feel that you won't lose faith in this connection with your FS but you'll be going on dates with them I feel that it will be y'all first time on a date. It's going to feel like a breath of fresh air. They'll make this date special. Making romantic getaway dates for you. Some of you'll be close to your FS. Wow, I can see in this lifetime with your FS it is going to be romantic as fuck. I see them taking you out to fancy restaurants and making your day special for you. Both of you are on the right path with each other. I feel that you two will guide each other on the right path. The second you turn left they'll pull you back in that path. Whenever you're feeling down I feel that your FS will fucking uplift you and make sure you don’t fall back down. Oh, I think that you are your FS divine feminine. So that means in my opinion, I believe that this is your Divine Masculine. The fact that divine feminine came out makes me think that you and your FS are divine counterparts. In this life, you are meant to marry your FS. That is part of the destiny between you and them. I sense that in this life no more second chances for that ex of theirs. Intimacy wow, you two will be bonding with each other. I'm hearing “getting to know each other.” I feel a strong sense of that. I feel that for some of you. Few of you, I truly think that you two will be magnetically attracted to each other. The moment you two meet each other. It going to be like bam! I can hear your FS saying “Who is that?” I can see a little scene where FS you were in some art gallery and they were wearing nice black suits and I see you guys walk inside. Then they turn around and just glimpse at you. You glimpse right back at them. It is like a tickle in your eye. If that makes sense. I don't know if you guys have seen those movies when the girls finally meet their one true love. That's how I feel. They are a player but when I see players I see them as if they like players in video games. Like an old-school way. I feel that most of your FS will be committed to you and vice versa. Wow, even a proposal came out for you! Ahh!!! I'm happy about that. So in this lifetime you and your FS. Are meant to be married even if some of you don't believe in marriage then will change your perspective on it. That's what I feel about it. Haha 😂 wow, I’m hearing “they won’t mind.” So they won’t mind you using their credit card to go shopping or whatever you wanna do with it. I feel that for some of you, this is your karmic companion. But for most of you, I feel this is your life partner. Hmm. Both of you have to make a decision. I don't know what it is but that's between you and your FS. You meant to be in business with them. Business collaboration! In this lifetime you are meant to be business with them whatever it is. Your FS is very masculine that doesn't mean they are healthy masculine energy. If that makes sense. So yes, whatever gender you prefer they are masculine or vice versa. I feel that you two will act like marry a couple when you guys hang out with each other. I feel your spouse will invite you over to their house all the time. You won't mind because you like staying over there. I'm hearing “That's your security.” I'm hearing for this type of love language Quality time is important for you two. Which is a good thing.
Remember you two give each other balance. I feel that you two won't lose sight of each other. Like if you need space they'll give you the space and vice versa. They would want to marry you. Maybe, you two will plan a wedding together. In this lifetime you are meant to marry your Spouse. Yay! Maybe, some of you felt in a past life you couldn't marry your FS because of the interruption so now you can. Oh, counterpart! Yes, I'm excited for you guys. So I feel that you are their feminist and they are your masculine or the other way around. Either way, it is fucking awesome to me. I'm happy about that. This is your other half. Yes! Most of you, I think your FS is famously known. It doesn't matter if they are celebrities. But I feel that they are famously known for their community. Everyone knows their name and they have amazing things to say about them if that makes sense. I honestly, feel right now they are fucking around with other chicks or dudes right now. So yeah, some of your FS is fucking around. Yes! They are your ultimate soulmate. I feel that you two were made for each other. That means your soul was created for them and vice versa. I'm happy to deliver that. Honestly. Good luck to you guys and your destiny in this lifetime. Remember energy changes all the time. So if you two had to meet right now this is what you've been going through.
😍🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈😍😍🙈😍🙈😍🙈😍🙈😍🙈
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Pile 2: Your Fs is the type to slow dance and set up the house with candles 🕯️. I definitely, see it happening. I heard “impress you.” I felt that some of you, your FS had a life before you. This means that before you enter their life they'll tell you something about them you probably be shocked or you probably know already about them. Whether it is kids or something else. I can feel that some of y’all spouses don’t have kids. I don’t feel that. But I feel that. See! I think that the universe will leave it up to you. On whatever you decide to do. If your spouse has kids what are you gonna do? Are you going to continue being with them or hit the bricks? Or again, if you have something it is up to your spouse to decide to be with you. Let me just say this as simple as possible. It is up to both of you, free will decide if you wanna be with each other period. Regardless of the circumstances. Whatever if they had a past before you or vice versa. That's the past we’ve all done stupid shit and honestly, no choices that we made were good choices. We live and learn. AWE, the two of you are each other’s perfect match. You equal them and they equal you. If that makes sense. Awe, you've met your perfect match in this lifetime whatever that is. Whichever gender you prefer. Go ahead and be happy forever. So, I feel that some of you will not like them in the beginning. But there is something about them you can't get enough of. That's what I feel. Okay, I don't know if some of you have ever seen The Wizard Of Waverley Place the show. Have you ever seen it? Okay, just imagine if Alex and Justin weren't siblings at all and they met as friends they would get together. What I'm saying is if you guys look on YouTube and watch some videos of them you'll see how Justin and Alex's dynamic is you'll understand the point of this destiny. Anyway, both of you have an odd chemistry. Both of you I feel like you two will argue a lot. Sometimes it will be playful and sometimes it isn't. But I would love to see it. In this lifetime I would love to. Haha 😂 crazy. Your FS dealt with one-sided love before. They've dealt with a lot of bullshit and maybe, that was the life before you came. So they have some secrets you might be like “Oh, fuck.” is that what I'm feeling. Like a Yikes moment. Your FS is your ultimate soulmate for some of you. This is part of your destiny. You had found them. In this lifetime you are meant to be with your match made in heaven. If that makes sense. Now, you two will have an inseparable connection. Can't nothing break you two apart? See! I was right! Most of you I feel that you are going to find your soulmate. Maybe, not your high-vibe soulmate but you are meant to be with your soulmate is gonna make you happy for the rest of your life. I'm getting buddy vibes between you and them. It just means you two will get along very well. They are dreaming about you. I heard “Since they were a child.” they have been dreaming about you since you two were kids. You guys have perfect harmony and you'll see through their bullshit and they'll see through yours. It is like you can't fake it for them. No matter how hard you try to hide your emotions they'll figure it out. I heard them say “You can't hide from me.” I know you will say the same thing to them. They could have a beard. Aww, both of you will be emotionally supportive of each other. They'll be interested in you. I can see you two will be going out on dates a lot. Y'all romance will be blooming. I sense either you or them will try to sabotage this destiny by delaying it. So I felt them working on them pulling you back into their life. Oh yeah, I can see you two hooking up 😍. I feel like some of you I can hear “Ugh, you are such a little devil.” I can hear you say that to them. You'll become an addict to them or it can be vice versa. But you two will be learning and expanding each other's mindset. Or it can be before you two meet you two will be entering a new phase and start preparing for union. So I am happy about that. I think I was right in the beginning.
They are your divine masculine so that means you are their divine feminine. You need to trust your inner knowing (Intuition). You have to trust how you feel. Whoever that it is. Trust that this person is for you. Whoever you are thinking about feeling about or dreaming about. Trust what you feel. I know it is hard we let fear block the opportunities that are right in front of us. I'm sorry for preaching. But I feel like both of you need to trust y'all intuition when you two come into union. I feel even now they are thinking about you now. They do miss you. I feel for this pile. They'll be co-dependent on you. I heard “obsessive.” so it can get unhealthy. That's why you would need space from them. I feel like some of you would need space from them. Few of you, I don't think that you do. But they will miss you a lot whenever you are busy schedule or just hanging out with your friends. They will be missing you. I heard “Their spirit is missing you.” if that makes sense. See! A lot of obstacles you two will be going through together. That's why I say sabotaging. Fuck! There is a lot of blockage between you two. It's like a wall! You are on the other side and they are on the other side of the wall too. See I was right! Crossroad! You two have to decide what you both want in y'all lives. It is like they'll be stuck you probably gonna walk away from them and vice versa. It is like making up your mind. Okay, I think before they had gotten robbed. Like home invasion. But I feel like you two will get into a heated conflict. I'm hearing “It'll be resolved.” you will marry your soulmate for a long time. But I have a feeling that you will have another romantic soulmate that's out there. Your FS will feel like you are a twin flame. So they gonna feel like you two share one soul. I will do a twin flame reading about it. But I felt in my heart that two romantic soulmates would come in. I think that you have to decide which one you will choose. Two romantic people are coming your way. Oh yes, you two will meditate when you wake up in the morning and during the night. It is going to be your two guys' routine. So yeah, in this lifetime you gonna have to choose who. Oh my god, this other romantic soulmate is a Mars-dominant. I'm hearing them say “I always get what I want.” oh yeah! Feel it in my heart this other one isn't going to give up. I keep looking at that card! This other romantic soulmate is a Mars dominant. Oh my god, my question is are you ready for this? You are meant to reconcile with your soulmate again. In this lifetime. Ever one you decide you choose it's your lifetime. I can see a little message. “My beloved, where have you been? I've missed you. I never thought you existed. Forgive me for fucking up. I love you.” Ahhh! I'm screaming. You and your FS are meant to have a boy 👦 in this lifetime. That's part of y'all destiny. You are going to tell your husband/wife or gender fluid you guys are. You're having a boy. Yes! Ahh, I can see that you'll meet them at a dog park. Your dog and theirs will get along. So I felt like some of you will meet your spouse at a dog park. I think this other romantic soulmate is your lesson-learned soulmate🙈. They just meant to teach you a lesson. But they won't give up on you. Oh yeah, your spouse is the type who likes bottom positions better 😘😍😍if you know what I am. They wouldn't mind if they were on the bottom while you were riding them. This relationship between you two it's a never-ending story. Awe, it's a forever in this lifetime. You're meant to be with them. I feel like some of you, your spouse live in the same building as you. A few of you, I noticed that if you decide to move somewhere you'll meet your soulmate in the same building. Either it can be a lesson or romantic. I think that you and your FS are gonna meet through a business meeting. I heard “company.” I don't know what kind of company you'll work at or start working at. I think that whoever does tarot cards or speaks to a tarot reader or psychic reader then your guides would want to speak to you about your person. Your FS
Right now, I think that your FS is trying to connect with their inner child more. So I think that's what some of y'all spirit guides are trying to tell some of you. They are working on healing their inner child. Uhm. Their Ex did something to them that they would rather bury with them for the rest of their lives. I don't know what their Ex did to them. But I hope that they'll tell you real soon. Oh my goodness, they love playing video games. You'll see them playing Mortal Kombat etc. Don't you agree? I sure do. Ohh! For anyone who doesn't believe or doesn't have faith in their connection with whoever. Your FS is telling all of you. As their higher self is telling you don't listen to other readers if you feel like this is your FS then it is yours. Only you have to trust your intuition we as psychic readers are giving y'all our opinions. Trust your instincts. I felt a Few Of You that your FS is slang a big dick. Oh, bust you wide open hahaha😂😂. If some of you out there some weed then this is your FS. This husband of yours will buy you a boutique of weed. Haha 😂 I can see some of y’all pot head happy as hell. Aww, they’ll be the one that will say I love you first. I believe that some of you might say it first but I think in my opinion most of y’all FS is very blunt and brave with their words. They aren’t afraid to speak their mind at all. Which’s good for them. Oh yeah, I feel this other person will come in first in your life and then your FS. But you might be involved with this other person first and this other perosn lifestyle is a bit crazy. I would say. Alright, I felt that some of you may feel in the beginning, that your FS got some cruel intentions because they want to get you pregnant and make you their baby mama. In my opinion, for a few of you I’m not feeling that. Haha 😂 amazing, you two will make like competition tv shows, etc. I can see it happening. Oh my God, this might be very difficult for you. But I feel as though you are going to choose this other husband. So I think that some of you have a two spouse’s I don’t know but you guys have two of them and I don’t know which one you guys are going to decide on in this lifetime. But I feel like your other FS is protecting you spiritually from any dark forces that’s tries to harm you. Oh yeah, you are going to be annoyed with this person and you are going to need some space from them. I’m thinking that I understand this round and round situations. Okay, I feel as though when you are involved with this other guy then let’s just say in the next two weeks your other romantic partner comes in. You are going to be hanging out with them while you are taking space from your other partner. It doesn’t make you a home wrecker. Or anything like that. I feel like you are going to fall in love with this other partner. Alright, they’ll be stalking you on social media. I’m hearing “even now.” So yeah, they are stalking you. I don’t know how but they are. Or you might be stalking them. Aww, the destiny between you and your FS they’ll give you luxurious wedding. They would want to spoil the shit out of you. All they want to do is take care of you. Okay, I feel as some of you, I truly think that this other partner likes to party a lot. So they drink a lot. Tell me what do you think. Honestly, I feel like they don’t want to give up that part of that lifestyle. Okay, I was kind of right in a sense. Whoever guy are thinking about or dreaming about does wants to meet you know. I feel that they’ve gotten readings about you. As who you are and what do you look like? Etc. that’s what I’m feeling like. Yes, in this lifetime both of you are meant to help each other spiritual. You two are meant to ascend with each other. That’s fucking amazing to me. I am hearing you say “I’ve made the right choice. So whatever you decide in this life with your partners you are going to feel you’ve made a great choice. This is what you two remind me of. The dynamic, connection of the whole scenario.
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Pile 3: In the beginning, I honestly feels like it will be on and off between you both. I figure one of you might be detached. Doesn’t want to be in a relationship or looking for one. Which I understand. In a sense I do. I figure that you might be annoyed with your FS. I can see a little imagine right now you’ve got annoyed with your FS maybe, there’s something they say to you or you’ve might of heard of. But you and Your FS in this lifetime is destined to a romance connection. I heard “fall In Love 🥰” I think in my opinion, you’re going to fall in love with them instantly. Don’t feel ashamed about it or anything. You’ve got what’ve been manifesting for a long time. I truly do feel that way. I was right. Praying 🙏🏾 the both of you were praying for someone come into your life that you can just fall in love. Not someone who’s gonna treat you like shit or whatever. But I believe as though. I feel that some of you will be ghosting on your FS meaning detached from them. That’s what I feel for some of you. A few of you, I think that your FS will be the one that doesn’t know how to make up their mind. One minute it’s cool next minute it isn’t. You’re going to be round and round with them. Like that Selena Gomez-round and round. That’s song I’ve heard in my head when I thought of this situation. But this is just beginning. I think that you two are doing some spell love or talking to other psychic readers who are doing spell works for you to bring in your lover. In my opinion, it isn’t bad. The both of you are meant to create a family together in this lifetime. You're meant to build a future with them. That could even mean today, tomorrow, or months from now. That depends on you and your FS. We all build our future in our own way. Honestly, feel as though you two are going to do those old-school photos. Make a lot of memories together. I think that whenever you guys take pictures you won't leave them on your phone you are going to print them out. I have a feeling this pile feels like an old-century life memory. I don't know what it is but that's what I'm getting. Having picture frames 🔲 and hanging pictures up on the walls, rooms, living room, and even through your Spouse office. Or yours. If that makes sense. You'll know your spiritual gift. Or I have a sense that your gifts are going to be activated. Whether or not you decide to activate them yourself. But you'll be aligned with your gifts. I can see that you may have a special place where you go to find your peace. Maybe, on a rock 🪨 or somewhere you find your sanctuary. I feel that you two might've done something you've been regretting. Or they did. So when I saw this card Massive Regrets I thought that they had done something that’s like “FUCK! I fucked up.” I can see them tapping their head like Fuck fuck fuck!! I feel as though in this lifetime your FS used to cope with drugs. I won't go any further than that but they got themselves into some deep depression. It does fucking sucks. Alright, either you or your Fs will be dealing with some crazy ex. This ex is obsessed with you or them. They'll be buying an apartment next door to them. To check to see what are up to. Probably stalking their social media. Or is your ex stalking your media? I'm hearing this ex “Let’s see what are you up to.” Hmm. This ex won't let the past go. Be careful because you might have to deal with them in this lifetime. I feel like that's part of y'all destiny in this lifetime. Don't get me wrong you can change the course of your destiny period. Aww, I think that your FS will be sending you love messages. Oh My God, I think your Spouse isn't afraid of what they send you. I think they are going to show you what they send you. I can hear them say “Here look at what I sent you.” you'll cozy up with them. Both of you are going to read the message that they send you. Awe I can see them kissing your forehead. This FS is very sweetheart. But we will go into the depths of this destiny. You are their Divine Feminine. You are their other half. They've been searching for you. I'm not saying this or it is
True about this but why did I feel like some of y'all spouses could be Chris Brown lol 😆 I mean if y'all are then good! But I just saw him in my head. But anyway, yeah, you are their divine feminine. So that means your FS is your Divine Masculine. What a perfect match. Right now, I feel like you two are feeling under pressure because you two think that you are running out of time. Which isn't true. Which isn't true at all. You're not running out of time. Y'all time isn't wasted. Honestly, time doesn't exist. You can meet your FS anytime. Yes, you have to go through hardship with other people but sometimes they come in when they come in. This is a type of chemistry or a connection it's like love and hate between you and your FS. I don't sense that you fucking hate them but this reminds me of that show Bridgerton. When Anthony couldn't stand Kate he fell in love with her. If some of you don't know about that show. I think I can send you a link to their dynamic on YouTube. This is what I feel like you do them and they do to you. Oh yeah, the both of you will be ending a lot of drama, and losses, and finally finished the past. I'm hearing “the ending.” I feel like your FS is going through a mental breakdown because of this crazy psycho ex. I think they regret it. Either you or your Fs may have a sex addiction. But I don't sense a bad habit. I am hearing “self-control.” Oh yeah, see! I was right! Both of you will say goodbye 👋 to the past, the exes, and old habits of ways. When you and Your Fs get into a relationship it is going to flourish. I have a sense of “fast-paced.” with some of you. But for a few of you, I'm sensing more “slow-paced.” either way that's what I'm getting from it. Ahh! I see that the two of you will be performing together. Whether it would be on stage, perform an art gallery, etc. No matter what you two will be sharing the stage. Oh my goodness, you two will share an everlasting first-time kiss. I can see it. It is a moment that you two will share. Well, I see that you'll be marrying your high-vibe soulmate in this lifetime. No wonder I was picking so many romantic vibes. It's so calm and cool. So your Fs will stalk you on your IG page or whatever social media you do have they’ll stalk you. I'm hearing them say “Eh, just keepin’ an eye out”. In a sense, it's like they wanna protect you sort of way. I hope that made sense. In the beginning, it might start as a situationship. So you and Your Fs could be in a situationship in the beginning. Or in my opinion, dealt with one. This connection leads you both to find each other again. Which is so romantic. I'm getting such a dreamy vibe. Even if some of you, may think that “Oh, it's a situationship.” no matter what it'll never feel that way with you. I sense more you both will be quick to get out of that situationship and start a relationship. If that makes sense. Alright, again, this reminds me of pile 2. I have a feeling that you may meet two people in this lifetime. One is your FS and the other one could be your FS as well. So I have a feeling when this other person sees you. Oh my lord, they are going to tell their friends about you. I heard this other person say “I saw an angel.” Yeah, awe sounds sweet but I don't think 🤔… sigh, this will take a brief moment. Oh wow, I have a feeling that something might happen. I don't know what that is. I can see that face you might make. That fucking “Yikes face” 😬. Okay, some of their asshole co-workers will be talking shit about you. Like “bitch Bye”. Haha 😂 I'm sorry I was in my moment. Anyways, they will defend you. I'm hearing them right now saying “It doesn't matter how the fuck we got together it's none of y'all fucking business.” holy shit! I'm scared to piss this FS. I'm telling you they don't play around at all. I can feel them being aggressive towards people. Including their co-workers. They'll shut that shit down fast. You may meet them at a festival party with your friends or theirs. Oh my goodness, haha 😂 you two will make a reality TV show. No drama I don't feel. But like competition shows.
Other games show. Oh yeah, I can see it happening. I believe right after the meeting you are going to get their phone number. They'll give it to you. Oh. I can see you guys blushing about it. It is so cute. You remind me of a high school girly girl. Maybe, that's my energy. Lol 😆 Alright, I believe that someone threatens your FS in this part of the industry that's why they back away. Somebody threatened your FS that's why they probably don't do what they love to do anymore. Maybe, painting, music, etc. Whatever that is somebody did some shady shit. Okay, see! Yeah, I was right! I told you that you guys will be the ones who will be making the “Yikes” faces. Because you've already fallen in love with your Fs. Since the moment you met them and they met you. Isn't that wonderful? So you may have to hurt this other person's feelings. Oh my god, I don't wanna cry but sometimes shit like that happens. Oh damn, that's hurtful. I've heard my thoughts like “Maybe, they should've made it in time.” Oh dang, bad thought bad thought. 😂😂. So when you two meet each other. The second you guys lock eyes with each other. Bam, you both knew it was meant to happen. This other person doesn't talk to their family or friends. They probably have one close friend. I don't know why but I feel slightly close to this pile. Maybe, a certain message is in there. For me. Alright, they’ll be the ones paying other artists to work with you. Whether you wanna be an actor/actress, Writer, etc. They'll be the ones paying for it. I've heard them say “Whatever you make I make.” I don't know why maybe, this is my vibe, or some of y'all. But I'm heavily feeling like some of y'all might be Chris Brown's wifey here. But that's what I'm feeling like. But anyway, your Fs are exploring their sexuality. Ha, I’ve heard that they have been judged by people. That's lame to me. So they secretly explore their sexuality. In my opinion, so the fuck what. Hmm… your spirit guide is calling you to speak to them about your person. So check in with your guides. So yeah, you and your FS are going through the same situation. Whatever you are going through they are going through a similar situation. 🙈🙈. Yes, a lot of people will support your relationship with your FS. Don't matter what happened. In the past with them. People are going to support this relationship this connection. They'll love seeing you two together. You might meet them through a business meeting. I swear! I don't know what it is but some of y'all meeting y'all crushes or FS through an industry. This is the kind of vibe I'm picking up heavily. Yes! Turn on 🤭🤤🤤. A few of you, your Fs know how to grind their body. They know how to move their body. So imagine in bed🤤🤤. Oh, sexy. I've heard a sex song for them haha. They'll admit to you about their past but they feel like you won't look at them the same anymore. Now whatever your FS tells you. I've heard my guides say “Don't freak out.” don't show them an eww expression because they'll close off from you. It's okay to give your opinion but don't be rude about it or judge them. They are trying to connect with their inner child. Whoever does music whether you are serious about it or not. The two of you will make hit-the-chart music. So I feel like some of you are meant to make music. For some of you, whether you are a rapper, singer, or guitar player. You meant to be in the chart. Or I have a feeling they are meant to help you with your career. Also, in this lifetime you two are meant to be in a partnership. This destiny between you and your FS is all about partnership. There will be certain people who don't want you guys together. I feel like they already call your Fs names. So they'll be calling you stupid for being with them. I'm telling you it’s because of their past. I'm hearing them say “They called me the worst names in the world.” so yeah, they called them bad names. They were going through a stressful evening but it's all better now. I feel that they own a billion-dollar company. They didn't use protection while they were sleeping with their ex.
No worries, I honestly feel like they didn't catch anything. So again, your Fs have some secrets. What's that saying “Skeletons in their closet.” they are a video game freak. They love video games. Play play. They are sending you messages, signs, and synchronicities too. Pay close attention. I can hear them say “I know you are sending message to me. Just know I am catching them.” So they know that you’ve been sending messages from the universe through their dreams. Don't think they aren't listening they are. I believe they are. You are part of their destiny. So in the next couple of months, you are going to meet your Fs. I heard “this year”. So many of you are meeting your FS this year. I am feeling like. Good to y'all. Aww, they'll go all out for you on Valentine's Day🕯. They painted the room red and roses on the wall. Aww, what a dream to be.
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Pile 4: Alright, one of their teammates will be spreading lies to your ear about them and vice versa. They can see you two fighting against each other. I feel like in my opinion, don't listen to them. Whatever their teammate saying about you to them don't listen to them. Oh yeah, your Fs have some bad friends around them. They truly do if their teammate spreads lies about you to them. Alrighty, I believe that you two have to deal with karmic partners before coming into union for some of you. This is your soulmate and both of you are soulmates. I feel in my gut that the both of you have a lot of things that you two need to deal with. So I think that one of their family member or parents isn't going to like you because you're too young for them. I can hear them say “You're too young for them.” they are going to feel like you have no kind of responsibility. In my opinion, who gives a shit about it. They've gotten robbed before. Someone invaded their home. Oh, yeah, that's shit fucking sucks. I’m sorry about that with them. Your FS could be a Virgo sun and they are practical and they like to use big words. I can feel like some of you could be like “Uhm, that's unnecessary.” They are your Divine Masculine so again, they are your divine counterpart. I felt as though they were a little wounded right now. I felt as though some of you were spiritual in your way. I have a feeling that they'll be dropping their religion. I feel like certain things won't make sense. In this lifetime they'll help you learn how to budget and save up your money so you won't be spending so much of it. If that makes sense. In A past life, I've believed that you were a Queen and you were a well-known Queen. I’m hearing you were loved. I think you probably got tired of everyone in your face and craving for something more. What's out there for me? Just me. That is what I'm feeling for you. You've found your spouse on this island and they were smart and they took you on a different adventure. I see that your people have found you and took you back home. I have a strong feeling that you were sad. I don't think that you told your FS who you were to keep that life a secret. You didn't want anybody to know. But both of you fell in love with each other. Since the moment you two laid eyes on each other. I had a little vision in my head that they were building something. Man! They had a nice body but you were like “Who's that guy?” haha. I think that in this lifetime it will be the same feeling as they did here. They feel a bit guilty for doing something that they shouldn't done. I don't feel like they forgive themselves. I felt as though they were excited to meet you. I've heard them say “I hear stories about you.” so I feel as though they hearing stories about you. I think they probably seeing a psychic. But they are having strong feelings about you. For some of you. You know what couple I'm feeling like this pile is. I'll send the link 👇🏾below. These couple I'm seeing. That's how I felt in past life between you two. So many people got between you two. Your lifestyle and theirs. In this lifetime what's part of y'all destiny is that they'll offer you their generosity by helping you with your career. Whatever that career is they'll help you. I can feel it. There is a lot of space in this connection between you and them. There's a lot of it. I can see you being like “I'm done with you. I need some space for right now.” I'm hearing “They won't be alright with it.” Maybe, they won't like the space at all. But at the end of the day make it work for you. So it is okay to need space from your person. Alright, other readers will say that you will get bored with your FS in this lifetime. I can see that you'll make it work with them. So if other readers say that you might be unhappy with them. Then you are going to stay with your Spouse regardless. Everything is free will. A lot of their fans will love your style and follow you on your social media Check what you are doing. But you gotta be a little bit careful. They might be a little bit nosy. So watch out. Just saying
Both of you are on a spiritual journey. You two are on it in this lifetime. I’m sensing that you two were meant to be spiritually awakening. More self-awareness. It is going to take them a minute for them to tell you that they like you. I've heard them say “I gotta make the move.” so what's going to encourage them is that they see you going out with someone else. This is like to me in my opinion, wow dude! Lol 😆. Anyways, they'll be telling you that you are playing games with them. And they'll feel a little bit worried that you won't like them anymore. Your FS will be taking accountability for their mistakes whenever they are arguing with you. In this lifetime you two are going to take accountability for the mistakes you two say to each other. Not every relationship is magical. But if it is worth the battle with your partner. Awe, every time you two see each other, both of you yell loudly and jump for joy. I can see you two seeing each other and saying “Hey!!”. If you guys still doing tarot cards they'll ask you to do their energy. Both of you are very competitive as hell. Whenever you two play video games I can see it. This reminds me of a couple. So I'm gonna put it. These are couples that you two remind me of in a sense of this connection. I am sensing private too. Whenever you two argue one of you will shut down and doesn't say anything. I sense both of you. I feel both of you don't like confrontation. Whenever you two argue I can sense an apology quickly. Both of you will teach each other how to protect each other's energies from anyone who doesn't have good intentions. So, I think that some of y'all Spouse is a bit fucked up. So if you end up with your Spouse then you can get into some deep shit. They are gonna trigger you it's because you have some things that you need to face. That happens. There are a lot of positive vibes in this connection you have to believe it. Yes, every relationship has its ups and downs. You'll be the dominant one in bed. So you'll dominate them in bed. They'll like that. You'll be spanking them and damm! I can see a purple light and whenever that light turns on they know what that means. In your destiny, in this lifetime your fears are blocking you from what you need to see. I feel like whatever is blocking you, take a step back and realize what are you scared of. They'll help you build up your label and bring it like other artists. Whatever kind of label you are doing do it! Some of you, I feel like you will marry your Twin Flame in this lifetime. It all depends on you two. Okay, I feel a few of you, got to be careful. Not a lot of people isn’t going to like you two being together for a reason. I’m gonna address this situation. I know some of you have celebrity twin flames and soulmates. Most of you, don’t. It is fine. Just wanna address that. Anyway, this connection will help you find yourself. I’m hearing “self-love” you’re gonna be learning a lot about yourself through this connection. They’ll ask you that “Will you go out to lunch with me?” They’ll take you out for lunch. Oh yeah, they gonna love taking you out to diners, restaurant, and lunch, etc. I can see them doing that all the time. But this connection involves marriage but it all depends on the two of you. I said it before. In this lifetime all the piles both of you make y’all destiny on whatever that is to be. You want happiness then you are going to get happiness. The person you are dreaming about. Does have to do with your soul mission. Both of you have a lot to create together. I can see it happening. Aww, both of you will have matching tattoos together. It is adorable. I can see it happening. This other spouse doesn't talk to their family. I was right. I feel as though, some of you are marrying your twin flame, and most of you marrying their soulmate. Or it can be the other way around. But I feel like there might be two soulmates and a twin flame that may come in. But then again, I can be overly Exaggerating things. Okay, just feel that whenever you are arguing with your spouse there will be certain issues that you two
Can't over this situation. You two may have to agree or disagree. That's just how energy is for now. Okay, whatever you've done in the past is affecting your future. Remember what I said that your fear is blocking what you aren't seeing. So you have to take accountability. They have been sheltered their whole life. It can be the mindset. So I'm hearing that part of y'all destiny is to get out of y’all comfort zone. Your divine masculine is sending you messages, Signs, and Sync. You need to pay close attention. If some of you are divine feminine then pay close attention to dreams. They are important. Okay, they are sort of immature and you'll check them on it. But they'll get defensive on you. Make sure to always hold your ground no matter what. You're gonna stop them from doing something stupid. I dont know what that is but it is something. They'll need to trust how they feel and go with the flow. Whenever you see them back off from you it's because they don't trust themsleves. I’m seeing like Belle and Edward dynamic as well. Alright, these interviewers will bring up their past in front of you. I think that's where you'll stop them from doing something that is fucking stupid as shit. Ahh! I’m dead-ass gaggin’ right now. Unpleasant surprised 😮 you two will have a baby GIRL! In this lifetime you and your Fs are having a baby girl. How do you feel about that? Very cute. Okay, I think that the two of you will get into some heated conflicts There'll be times that you have to walk away from them and vice versa. Honestly, I feel that way. Because we all say things in the heat of the moment. For some of you, this is your romantic partner's short-term. If you two want to still work it out then that's up to you. If not then it's okay to move forward with your life. Maybe, some of you will feel uncomfortable doing this but they'll take you where they took their ex on vacation at. Just to make new memories with you. They want to share that love with you. I have a sense that your FS doesn't have bad intentions but they wanna reconnect with new memories with someone, they feel as though they can spend the rest of their life with. That's what strongly what I strongly feel like. Alright, they'll notice that you have a commitment phobia. If some of you guys are like that then they'll notice that quick. Aww, I feel this even now I do. But they are writing their thoughts about you. In their journal. I feel as though you are doing the same thing. So guess what, you two are manifesting each other. Aww, so fucking sweet isn’t it.
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Pile 5: Alrighty, It seems that a lot of Hollywood people would tell you not to take that chance with your FS. I don't know why. But I think some of these people don't like your Spouse. Hmm, I have a feeling that your Spouse has a big mouth or it is because they had a past Ex in that type of industry. So again, be careful who you date. But in my opinion, if you fall in with your FS who had a bad past so the fuck what. That shit got nothing to do with your feeling with him. Period. So yeah, in this destiny between you and Your Fs will come at them rudely. I hope some of you have tough skin. These bastard Hollywood fuckers are snakes. I can see your FS saying “It’s okay, I am used to it.” Again, these Hollywood fuckers are bullies. So This is part of y'all destiny in this lifetime. Anyway, when they meet you, I think that they'll tell you when you get into a relationship with them. They'll tell you their secret. They masturbate when they fantasize about you. I've heard “every time.” so every time they fantasize about you they masturbate. I think that they saw a psychic and they told your FS to masturbate so they can bring you into their life. Sex magic does work that way. Aww, In this lifetime I feel like some of you, have some FS Who is a kind-hearted spirit. They are a nice person it is hard for them to stay mad. That doesn't mean using that shit for an advantage. But it is hard for them to stay mad. So whenever you two get into an argument they'll get upset and they'll walk away from you and they'll come back and tell you why they did what they did. Oh yeah! Both of you will take accountability for what you two said to one another. Good! That's good. I'm glad you two are going to do that in this lifetime. Oh, I can see that one of you might shut down all day Either you or they won't say anything all day. I have a feeling it is your FS since they are going to walk away and won't say anything. I think that they don’t like yelling. It seems like their reputation can affect you in some deep shit. Maybe, it will affect your career. If you decide to go with them. Some people in Hollywood won't work with you. Oh yeah, see! Both of you will trigger each other to the limit. But it is meant to heal you and them. But I noticed that again, some of your FS will walk away from you. They'll need a day away from you. It will make you sad. Yes! Haha 😂 you won't get along with your FS co-workers. Including their business clients. Hmm, that's some crazy shit. I don't sense that you'll be jealous but I do see that you'll pick up on some of their energies. Aww, every time you two see each other it is always a joy with you both. I can see you two jump into each other’s arms. Yeah, both of you yell at each other. Not like yelling but yelling as Hiiii baby. Then jump into each other's arms. Both of you are like best friends. Okay, in the beginning, both of you will start as friends. Even friends argue. So they are your homie but they would want to take it further with you. I think some of you might be in a relationship with someone else while your friend is with your FS. But most of you would want to take that road with them but I think that you decide to stay their friend. They'll help you love yourself more. As to where what they see in you. You'll start to put into yourself. Wow isn't that so beautiful? I can see it happening. You'll start to build your confidence. I think that you’ll take their advice too. Oh yeah, it seems that whenever you are around your FS your femininity will start to kick in. Aww, I see that you might be doing a lot of self-care and getting your hair done. Doing things makes you sexy. If that makes sense. They love wearing their suit and tie. Every time you see them they always have a business suit on. I can see you say “Is that all you wear?” which isn’t true but that's just how they dress. Oh yeah, this FS doesn't fucking play at all. I mean damn! I can see that they'll call it quits whenever you are acting immature or too young. Well, I should say petty. Oh yeah, some of y'all FS don't fucking play. I mean damn!
Whenever they see something is wrong I'm hearing “workout” they’ll walk away from you if they don't see you putting in the effort. Aww, I believe when you first enter the room you fucking blow their mind away. Oh my goodness, isn't that so beautiful? They'll buy you roses and all kinds of flowers. I think that whenever you two Get into some kind of conflict they'll want to work it out with you. I feel like in this lifetime they wanna work it out with you. I think in past lives you two didn’t work it out. Oh my God! Haha 😂 this is fucking wow. You'll hide your first pregnancy from the world. You won't tell anyone about your pregnancy. Honestly, for the sake of you and your child's health yeah, I don't blame you. Keep all your pregnancies to yourself. Okay, this connection between you and your FS is a lot of round-and-round. I think that there will be times when you two will need space. I have a sense that this might be your soulmate but a difficult one. I mean no soulmates are easy but some of them are calm. But this one with you two oh my goodness, I can tell that you two will be dizzy. So yeah, either you or them will walk away from each other. I don't think that you two will break up. I don't think that way. But space will be needed in this rollercoaster. Geez. Aww, they believe that you have such a beautiful voice. It is beautiful💋😱. I can hear them say “Wow, you are magical. Your voice is like a siren. Such a mermaid 🧜‍♀️.” Yikes 😬😬. They won't satisfy you in the bedroom. Okay, maybe, that's why you two are going through some issues. Oh my goodness, maybe they like to do missionary all the time. Damn! I don't like it when this call comes out but they do. See! They feel like you are being a bit distant from them. See! Communication is very important. So they are going to know what's going on with you. Aww, you'll be impressed by them the way how they speak to you. Very gentlemanly vibes. But they aren't that good in bed with you. I think you may think that they are boring in bed. Wow 😮 I'm sorry 💔. Aww, that's a song I've heard in my head too. That's how they feel about you. It was like love at first sight for them. Oh yeah, you'll take some space away from your FS but they'll still text you and send you positive vibes your way. Aww, what a fucking sweetheart? No matter what they will always make sure your day is positive and loved. Are you willing to take this step with your true love? Will you though? Oh my God, I love you guys. This is like ❤️ here. In this lifetime what’s apart of y'all destiny is that you two Will decide to choose each other in this lifetime. No matter who else comes in😁. Both of you will decide to choose one another. This reminds me of the movie The New Sequel of the Little Mermaid. I'll send a video. Here. This is how your connection is. I truly do feel that way. This destiny between You and your FS Will catch you by surprise. This love between you and Them is caught off guard. Like “Oh wow.” it's beautiful. I know that some of your FS can't satisfy You in bed which I think in my opinion, they just might. They just might surprise you in bed. But anyway, you two have been manifesting this love for a long time. Now you finally got it. It came to you. In the beginning, both of you are going to be arguing when you two first meet. Oh my goodness, your love doesn't stop there both of you were probably Romeo and Juliet in a past life before. So your love with them is ancient. I know some of you don't remember but it does go way back. I think some of your FS is your twin flame and for most of you, I believe your FS is a soulmate. For some of you, I think that your Twin Flame is fighting back against this other husband of yours. So, this might be a decision you might have to make. Haha 😂 I honestly, believe that is how some of y'all FS is now. I feel that your FS is going to be completely possessive and obsessed with you. This is part of y'all destiny in this lifetime. Both of you will be forgetting about y'all responsibilities and staying home. They trust you and ONLY you. They trust you.
You might be relocating where your person lived. They are moving forward with their life and making better decisions for themselves. That’s good. Hmm 🤔 there are some kind of suspicious things about your FS business. I don’t know what that is but I won’t go any further than that. Oh yeah, it seems that you and your FS will be making out a lot. 💋💋💋💋💋💋. I can hear 👂 one of y'all friends “Where did they go?” oh yeah, you two making out that's for sure. You two like to be alone. In this lifetime you two were meant to marry each other. I think you've tried to marry them in a past life but that shit got fucked up. I can strongly feel that. But you meant to have kids with them. GASP! Oh shit! Didn't it say that your first pregnancy is gonna be private? Bam! See that confirmation. Okay, didn't I say some of your FS is your Twin Flame, and for Most of you this is your soulmate? Look at that this soulmate is part of your high-vibe soulmate journey. They are meant to lead you too. I believe that's part of their destiny with you. Okay, this is kinda lame to me. But they might be in a relationship while they are hanging out with you. So they have feelings for you. I've heard “proudly.” so They Proudly have feelings for you. They could be bald or shave their head bald 🦲. Or cut their hair short. Things can change. See! For some of you, I feel that you are marrying your Twin Flame in this lifetime. This fucking twin has a lot to do with your past life. I don't know what it is but it is something. Hmm, I think right now as we speak something is keeping you and your FS away from each other. Yikes 😬😬. In my opinion, be careful with whom you share your readings too especially if some of you have celebrity husbands or wives. Be careful. Yes, your FS is older than you. I honestly, feel that way. But I feel like there is a slight chance that they can be a little bit younger than you. I don't sense hella younger but young. I sense early 20’s like 23 or 24.
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Pile 6: In this lifetime, I have a sense that both of you will forget about y'all responsibilities. I have a sense that you may say “Oh, another time.” and then you gonna keep doing it. It is like every time. So you may have to be a bit careful especially, if it is work. I can tell that you'd like to stay home with them. Oh yeah, I can tell that this FS will be very hasty with you. So your FS is going to be completely possessive and obsessive of you. I noticed that they might be unhealthy. The destiny between you and them. Your FS is gonna be completely possessive over you. I have a strong feeling that this FS isn't playing at all. I am getting a rush vibe from them. They'll say yes to you. For example “Do you want to go out?” FS: “Yes”. Like they are so with the speed with you. Anyway, they could be thin. Like medium size. Right now they are a bit jaded because of what they are going through at the moment. So their mind isn't clear. Alright, I think that when you meet your FS you might've thought to yourself, do you want to go down this road with them? I can see you walking back and forth with this. The reason why I said that is because I won't lie to you, your FS might ask you for your number when they meet you. Like before you leave the building. They'll ask you out of hangout with them. I've heard them say “I see what I want and I'll take it.” so this kind of FS knows what they want. They aren't afraid to take what is theirs. Your Twin Flame is fighting back against your other FS so you two won't meet. I have a feeling that for this Pile. This is your twin flame period. This love between you and your Twin Flame is surprising. I heard “forbidden love”. I felt that certain people don't want you two together. It is going to happen unexpectedly. I know for this one it is tough as shit! Especially, if you are dealing with a twin flame. But I have a feeling that this is part of y'all destiny you are meant to be with your twin flame in this lifetime romantically. You may get into an argument with them at the first meeting. I heard “approving a point.” so they might prove you wrong about them. Maybe, you have some kind of expectation about this twin of yours or their lifestyle. Then BAM! They shut you up. Oh yeah, I feel like this twin is confident about their intuition about you. Whew! So here is their message to you. “Trust me, believe me when I say I am the man you've been thinking and dreaming about. I know it has been a minute since you saw my face but I am always fucking yours. You can bet your sweet ass I'm yours. You may not think so today or tomorrow but it'll come.” Damn, I since a lot of confident vibes from this twin flame. Wow. Anyway, I sense that you two won't give up on each other. No, you won't. Maybe, some of you don't believe in your twin flame connection anymore or just hiding it. But this is part of your destiny with them. You can change different directions but you cannot change certain things in your soul contract with them. You can be 50 years old you'll still have to go down that road or in next life you may have to do it with them but just in a different form of yourself. See! Yeah, you're marrying your Twin Flame 🔥 in this lifetime. So again, your FS is your twin. They have a lot I mean A lot to do with you in the past life. I don't know what that is but if you want a personal reading on that. Here is my link. Anyway, so they might be in a relationship when you meet them. I have a strong sense that when you do meet them they aren't in a relationship with their person. I've heard “sleeping with them”. Your FS could have a darker skin tone. They aren't too light or brown skin but dark brown or dark. Aww, this dynamic between you and them is like Mavis and Johnny. Aww. Let me show you guys a video. Your relationship dynamic reminds me of them two. It's like once you two are alone with one another you see a whole different side of your Twin. Okay, your twin flame is your Divine Feminine. So if some of you are divine Masculine then you are meeting your other half. Which is your Divine Feminine.
Again, they have a lot to do with you in this past life. I don't know what it is but it is something. Huge! It is like something very important you cannot ignore. You can't. At the moment they are mentoring someone else right now. I can see another message they wanna tell you. “Hey, You! Why are you doubting yourself? Did I hear you losing faith? Huh! I wonder why. You are a fucking beautiful Angel 😇. Heaven ain't got nothing on you. You were made to lead for yourself and us. You and I are a team. Trust me, I know it's hard for now. But You will have everything you want including me. Tell me do you believe? I wish I could give you something to believe. But no worries I hope this message helps you.” Wow, they don't like it when you doubt yourself. They see you as perfect. I see you helping your community out. Especially, if your community is struggling you are going to help the struggle. Proud of you. 🙏🏾💋They have an ego problem. Their head is fucking huge so you know that people kiss their asses. But you ain't gonna do that. So of course they are going to be saying “Do you know who I am?” Like ewe, I don't care who you are. Make sure you check them on it. Uhm, they are still a little bitter over their ex. They are trying to move on from it. But this fucking Ex must have hurt your Twin. Oh shit, I wish this card didn't come out. But their ex did something to your Fs they would rather bury it. I'm sorry about that. Oh no! That shit made me mad 😡 this is very bleh to me. Okay, this is none of anyone's business. But oh well, they weren't using protection while they were sleeping with their ex. Hmm.. It seems like spiritually your Fs warning you about this new guy that's coming into your life. That's why they are protecting you even now when a new guy comes into your life. So if you are in a relationship with someone else right now. I feel like your Twin Flame is telling you something about this new guy. So be careful and smart. Alright, I feel like you'll be the one that might start shit with them. I don't think you are a drama starter. Bam! Both of you will have y'all victory together. It is going to feel like a FINALLY! You two finally made it to the end. Through all the ups and downs might as well just finish the race. So that's what happens. I think that you and your Fs have a lot of lessons to learn together in this lifetime. This is part of y'all destiny. I know it feels like a big fucking UGH! But honestly, you don't want things that are too easy. You would want a balance. A lot of people will support you guys' relationship. Oh yeah, it seems like your friend is gonna catch you two having sex in the bathroom. Oh Whew! Dang! Anyway, they currently aren't feeling themselves right now. So they probably going through some kind of healing process right now. This relationship between you and your Fs will bring a lot of people together in harmony. I sense that a lot of people would want y'all relationship. I can tell that they would. I just think that some of y'all Fs are going through some hard lessons with themselves. If you have been dreaming about your Fs lately or you've been dreaming of them for a long time. Then they have something to do with you on your journey. Both of you are meant to create something together. Hmmm. I told you that they are going through something personal. So I think right now they trying to figure out whether or not to cut this friend off. Since they have known this friend for a very long time. Both of you grew up kind of “tough love” in the household so I feel that both of you have this survival mentality. This connection involves marriage. But it all depends on you two. So it is up to you and your Fs if you two decide to take it further down the line. If that makes sense. Oh yeah, so your FS has some unhealthy habits. To where they'll punch someone in the face if they see talking to someone else. I have a huge sense that your Fs have some huge trust issues. Remember what I said earlier that they can quickly be obsessed with you. Then your Fs reminds me of an old soap TV show. Called the
Bold and The Beautiful. Deacon and Sheila. If you guys don't know these characters there is a link below you should check it out. I have a feeling that your Fs have a dark side that they tap into a lot. I don't know what it is but they got this high-ass adrenaline. I can feel it. You give them this excitement in their life. They have been looking for. I've heard “mystery”. Oh yeah, both of you will meet at a festival party whether you are performing or hanging out with friends. But you are going to meet them there. I heard “unexpected surprise.” it is going to happen unexpectedly. Ahh, remember what I said before they are feeling a bit jaded, look at that. They are finding love again. They are calling you again back in their manifestation circle. Whoo. You may not want kids with them. I don't know why maybe, you are set on your mentality that you don't want kids period. Set a timeline for yourself. In my opinion, don't do that! Because at the end of the day, you have lessons to learn with your kids whether with them or with someone else. But for some of you, I felt that you are having kids with your Twin flame. Your twin is your Fs. I think that they may have kids already you'll be done with it. I'll raise their kids. In my opinion, you are braver than me. Lol 😆 just kidding. This relationship will help you two heal a lot of y'all trauma. I'm sorry but I'm calling you out on it. Most of you, have a lot of emotional fears. That's something you two are blocking from one another. Like they are block emotionally, but I do sense that they are trying and you just staying that way. It keeps you safe but their more discovery with your emotions that can help bring in the people who want to love you including your Fs. I think that they are in a new relationship but they aren't taking it seriously. But they have a new girlfriend but I have a sense that it is just dating for them. Oh yes, both of you are ready for union. I say go for it!!! Be ready for this union that can help you two grow and become better.
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Pile 7: In this lifetime you and your FS will become trillions. Wow, that’s cool. They are a bit pushy because they want to make sure that you have everything you want. I sense a fighter. Oh my god! Haha, having sex with your Fs is going to be fucking mind-blowing which I believe so. Haha 😂 awesome. What's your destiny between you and your FS I have a sense of feeling it is high-school sweethearts for some of you. Right now they are trying to connect with their inner child🥲💕. They probably watch Disney movies and childhood movies. They grew up watching. Whenever you get detached from them. I sense that they might be annoyed by you. “I can't win with you. Ugh, what did I do wrong? This is why we aren't working because you are so stubborn as hell. Help me understand this shit. I'm your partner so let me be your partner.” Oh yeah, they are the type to like the bottom position if you know what I mean ladies and gentlemen.🤭🤤🤤. So their energy right now at the moment they aren't feeling themselves. So even when you are with them it isn't you it is just them. Oh yeah, I think your Fs go both ways. 🙌🏽 good for them. I think that your Fs are in a relationship with a man and they are exploring their sexuality. Should I say? They are curious. So they'll tell you about their experiences with their boo-boo. Haha 😂 how lovely is that? Oh yeah! Your Fs is a fucking freak! Ahh! I am fucking gagging. Yes 👍🏽 so they'll eat your pussy while you in a bubble bath. Oh yeah, soak your pussy in their mouth 👅. Oh yeah, that shit giving a bitch wetty wet. You'll meet them in a library 📚. They probably like to read or just like to be in the library by themselves. I heard “Sanctuary.”they do a lot of sex magic to bring you into their life quicker💋. Masturbation is important to people. Do some play play. Even to just make yourself feel good. Oh okay, so in the beginning, you two won't immediately like each other because you two are having a bad day. So you two will be playing a lot of mind games with one another. They are indecisive themselves. So they'll be like “I don't know”. You may get tired of it and vice versa. You and your Fs are going through a similar situation. Oh yeah, you might be like “Ugh Why?” things happen sometimes. Oh wow, they are your spouse they want to make it known. “Hey, cupcake 🧁 just gonna say it one more time to you. I am your Husband/wife. I mean I know I haven't proven it to you or been my best but I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy forever.” In the beginning, I don't think they ain't gonna like how prude you are at first. Because you know your Fs is a beautiful person so they'll be bitches throwing themselves at them. Awe, when you two do meet both of y'all eyes just lock in with one another. Isn't that crazy? Amazing isn't it? Okay, your Fs isn't a celebrity. This is cool 👍🏽 you don't want any celebrity all the time but I do feel in my opinion, everybody has a connection with a celebrity regardless of some status that is attached to their name. Sorry for ranting. But anyway, they are well-known in their community. See! There is a lot of physical attraction between you two. Oh my goodness, it isn't that exciting. Eep! Aww, you are their divine counterpart. 🔥👅. I can tell there is some passion with you two. I was right! They have this deep love and affection for you. Awe, they'll curse out their fans for you. I hear “neighbors.” so if anybody tries to mess with you know not to step close. This connection with you two will help you both grow and it is a lot of work that needs to be done. You'll have to make the effort to work with them. I'm hearing “a lot to handle.” hmm, at the moment they are scared 😱 they are trying to take a different direction. Okay, I have a feeling that some of you, don't have a celebrity spouse. A certain amount of you do have celebrity spouses which is cool. Oh yeah, fans will DM you rude messages and keep on bothering you. I see why your Fs curse their asses out. I think their fans are tough. But aren't part of your destiny but these fans are going crazy.
After the meeting with them, you'll leave a huge impression on them after the meeting. They'll never forget your face or what kind of feeling you give them. Okay, your Twin flame is trying to connect with you and talk to you. So you may not fuck with your twin now or you spiritually blocked them. These are a couple of you two remind me of. Oh wow, they are deciding in their next life they want to be with you. I'm hearing “That's a promise” Oh yeah, until death, they are making that as a fact. Yes, so whenever you are starting up your business you are fucking amazing and you'll start to make it happen. Remember what I said earlier? Well, this is why. They are deciding if they want to be with you romantically. I don't know I had a vision I can see them walking back and forth in their living room. Hitting their fingernails. It must be a tough decision. Oh yeah, your Fs hits 👊 hard so you'll be scared for them to fight someone. I think that you'll know how your FS gets. Okay, a lot of Hollywood stars will tell you to not go out with your Fs because of their past. Honestly, doesn't matter what these people say or who you can love. You probably won't get along with one of your Fs family members. So I had a vision that you tell your Fs saying “I don't like her” It's probably because you two had a past life before. I don't know. Smooth aren't they? They'll convince you to go out with them. You probably have been saying “no” so many times. I heard “not ready.” you probably aren't ready to go on dates with someone. Wow 😮 they'll be the ones to expose your pregnancy all over social media. “I’m gonna be a Dad”. Awe I can see them jumping for joy. Both of you will trigger each other but you two must heal one another. Call out their triggers and yours. I can tell you two arguments aren't pretty. It going to be a lot of disagreement. But you'll love them and they'll love you. They'll praise you all the time. Give you compliments. I can see it happening. Oh yeah, a lot of positive vibes in this connection with them. It just takes a lot of effort. See! A lot of your fears will be blocking your happiness and them too. You won't be able to see what's right in front of you if you don't surrender. Oh yeah!! Remember, what the fuck I said! Haha 😂 I cannot with myself. You and your Fs family have some unfinished business. Something has to end with their family member. I don't know what it is but it is something. Aww, y'all daughter in Stars or the Galaxy is sending you and your Fs messages including now. They are working on getting her parents together but she is feeling a bit ignored by you both. Maybe, you need to do a reading on your kids. I think you may start dating your friend first. I heard “hangout” so I feel like you won't be interested in a friend like that but I do see you hanging out with their friend. Oh my goodness, I think that you two are social media couples. I don't see much privacy for you too. So you two will post a lot on the IG. I mean wtf! This card loves to come out. So yeah, both of you are each other's Divine Counterparts. Both of you can do slow-paced or fast-paced. It is still a perfect match. I'm hearing “compliment each other.” I feel that's what you two do for each other. They may have twisted braids or you could or their friend. It can be either or. Oh yeah, there is a lot of running away in this connection. I can tell. Geez, I sense a lot of scariness from you and them but from you too. I don't think you trust easily. You have a hard time. I hear you say “People don't get me.” you've been disappointed by people before. Relationships you probably think to yourself you don't know how to be a girlfriend. I can hear your Fs say “I don't know how to be a boyfriend either.” partnership is responsibility. But even though two of you will go through your ups and downs. This still is a beautiful connection 📶 relationship. You'll let a lot of your walls down with them. See! You two are meant to make a lot of money 💵 together. Help each other build a business with one another. Oh, sexy, goddamn!
I can tell that you two will be hot and heavy. That's the song I heard in my head. So much passion with you. That's why I feel like you'll get instantly pregnant with them. It doesn't matter how old you are. It feels like this is kind of the same pile I just wrote this on. Hmm… weird💞. In this lifetime you are going to be your FS fiancè. So yeah, it is going to feel like love at first sight with them. You two will be planning out your wedding. I don't sense anything too major. But small. I heard them say “She finally said yes”. So it is going to take you a minute to say yes to them. I feel like you are going to surprise and shock them. Aww, both of you have been written in the stars. I think when you are with them you'll start to trust your instincts better. Ask yourself is this what you want? Do you want this? You can change your destiny but there is something for you it is going to happen regardless of how you change the rotation. Okay, your FS is your Twin Flame. That's why the ups and downs and running away. Whew, there is a lot of that. Running away. You two are intense. I see that you two share a lot of harmony. Oh yeah, this is your soul family 👪 oh my goodness. I don't know why but I think I might cry 😭 they are part of your soul mission and vice versa. They are part of your destiny in this lifetime. You are marrying your soul family. They will fully complete you and vice versa. Even if you are with someone else at the moment they'll wait until it's their turn. They know you are their true love ❤️ why not be with them? See! Again, you'll feel happy with them and it is like again, and you'll feel complete with them. You just have to give it a chance. Whoever you are thinking about this person has a lot to do with you in a past life. I don't know what happened but there is something. I'm hearing “It never got completed.” so there is something that never got completed for real. Hmmm… I think your Fs are fighting back against your other FS from the spiritual realm. I don't know what's the issue here but it seems like they are a little bit scared 😱 but I don't see these other Fs lasting long in your life yes! Promotion your career is going to take off with them. I see that in this lifetime, you two were meant to work together side by side. Manifesting abundances! I think y'all manifestation is going to happen so quickly. Aw 💞💞 that's the song I'm hearing. I feel that most of you will be meeting your ultimate in this lifetime. Whether your twin flame or soulmate you're gonna be with them in this lifetime. It is a headache but it is worth the risk.
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Suffer Pt. 3
Suffer Part 3 is here! I'm planning on having at least two more parts, I was not expecting this to become a whole thing but :') I gotta see it through now lol
When I say I love slowburn fics, I mean it dammit.
Disclaimer: This is my personal interpretation of the characters from Hazbin Hotel. I respect the canon storyline and characters, but this fic will stray from it a decent amount.
Check out Part one and Part two :)
♡ ♡ ♡
Holding a small, sleeping Charlie close to your chest, you swayed her back and forth. Your eyes fluttered shut, as you danced around the familiar nursery, humming the same tune you've used to calm her down for years. She was asleep. Safe and oblivious to any of the chaos around her. You envied her. With one final spin, you let your eyes open. Your arms were empty. She was gone. The comfortable weight of her tiny figure instantly went away. You panicked, the room you were in was shifted into something unfamiliar and uneasy. A source of light finally drew your eyes. A distant doorframe provides light, casting the silhouette of a tall, curvy woman. Her eyes were glowing.
“L-Lillith?” There were sounds of a baby crying out and the intimidating figure became far away, ceasing any light and drowning you in a darkness that you've felt before. Long ago.
A heavy knocking at your door forced you awake. As you sat up you went to wipe the sleep from your eyes, only now noticing the tears streaming from your face. Just a dream… The knock was louder and quicker this time, forcing a response out of you. “Gimme a minute! Fuck -” You roll out of your bed, going to turn off the radio on your nightstand. Having the radio on throughout the night was something Alastor suggested, obviously, after you confided in him about having a series of nightmares. His show is broadcast while you sleep, and when it isn’t, the radio static actually acts as a soothing white noise. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it kept you from going insane in the least.
You finally approached the door, your body still wrapped in your large blanket that trailed across the floor. A cheerful, as always, Charlie stood at the door. She was quick to say good morning, but went straight to the point without letting you respond. She clearly practiced this.
“So! I know my dad's visit a few weeks ago was a liiittle… Tense? But - uh, I was wondering if you two talked yet..? By chance?” She spoke like she would be scolded for saying the wrong thing. You shook your head, still slowly blinking awake. 
“Well - okay! I was just asking because he.. keeps.. asking about you…” she held her phone out to you, letting you scroll through some of the messages he’s been sending her. You chuckle at first, he can't text for shit. But she was right. Ever since you blew him off that day, he's been asking Charlie how you've been and what you've been up to.
“I mean, I love my dad and it's awesome he's finally talking to me again, but - I don't know, if it's not too much to ask, could you maybe just.. talk to him?” Charlie rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, and her words broke your heart a little. It's cruel of him to try and reach out to you that way, put Charlie through that distress, but maybe you could've handled your last encounter with more care.
How could you say no to her?
“Yeah, i’ll talk to him, Charlie. Don't worry.” A yawn interrupted your sentence, but you still sent her a reassuring smile as she finally relaxed her shoulders.
“That’s great! I’ll just give him your number!” She planned outloud, turning away to head down the hall.
“Charlie- “ You called out, “He loves you, you know that, right? Don’t forget that.” Charlie’s smile drooped for a second, then quickly picked back up. She nodded as she left your view.
With a yawn, your body still not registering that you were awake or what you had agreed to, you went to shut your door. It didn't click like it usually does, so you turned to see the blockage - Alastor. He'd stuck his foot in the door to prevent it from closing entirely.
“Good morning, my dear!” his voice was booming, as he threw his arms out in a dramatic flare, your door swinging open.
Nope, you were too tired for this.
“Fuck, Al, can't this wait ‘til I'm at least dressed?” You tossed your blanket aside, rummaging through your drawers to cover the little silky tank top and pajama shorts you had borrowed from Angel during your first nights at the hotel. Maybe it was your sleep depravity, or just the fact that Alastor has made it a habit to be extra kind to you since you arrived, but you didn't mind him seeing you in sleepwear. He had no ill intent, as far as you knew.
“Unfortunately, it cannot! I heard you're going on a little outing with the king! How exciting~” He hummed, sitting at the edge of your bed as you cover yourself with your sweater. You plop down next to him, still wiping your eyes. He reached out, swiping his thumb across the apple of your cheek. Looking down at his hand, swiping your tears across his fingers, he met your suddenly embarrassed gaze.
“Another rough night, dear?” You weren't sure how he knew that's what that was from, but you nodded anyway.
“Just another nightmare, it's fine. They're always about Charlie and - the mistakes I made when I was taking care of her.. I guess it still kind of bugs me.” He let out a pitied hum, as he stood to turn your radio back on. He tuned it to some old timey jazz music before resting his hands behind his back. You didn't know it could play music..
“Well, it seems that meeting with that royal menace may not be the wisest choice. Wouldn't you agree?” You looked down before letting a sigh slip from your tired lips.
“It's fine, I can handle myself. Besides, he keeps bugging Charlie and I - I feel like I owe her..”
you shake your head, standing to your feet and beckoning Alastor out of your room.
“It's fine! It's just a quick visit, I won't be gone long.” He took your hand give it a quick kiss, a reassuring smile on his face.
“Well, if he does anything to hurt you, love -” love? “- I'll be right there to help.” He emphasized the end of his sentence with a quick tap on your nose before leaving your room. The music faded back into static as soon as he left.
You heard stories about their fight, plus you could hear their aggressive duet from your room that day, but you believed him either way. You had no doubt he could swoop in and save the day if you needed it. You wondered why people seemed so wary around him. He was a perfect gentleman to you, even with all the warnings you've gotten from Husk and Vaggie.
He had you wrapped around his finger.
You didn't think you would stress about what to wear. You hadn't even made plans yet, but all of sudden, you worried about what he would think of your clothes if he saw you. Charlie sent you his number, so it was on you to reach out. You ignored it for now. You’d ignore it forever if it would keep these feelings from resurfacing. Finally deciding on an outfit, just a black turtleneck that left your arms bare and a skirt that hugged your curves in a lovely way. Even if it probably wasn't the easiest skirt to bend over in, you decided it would do.
A lot of your clothes were hand me downs or were lent to you by either Angel, Vaggie or Charlie. None of it was truly your size, but you had no problem adding in some extra panels or cutting things to your liking. The sweater you grabbed previously was actually gifted to you by Alastor. You had no idea why he would give it to you, a simply red cardigan with a soft knit, but it quickly became your favorite accessory. Pulling up the collar, you buried your nose into the knitting, taking a soft breath in. It always smelled of whiskey and honey, no matter how often you washed it.
You went through your day like normal, followed along with some exercises Charlie was running and taking a quick trip to Cannibal Town with Alastor, something you did every now and then. It started off with him accompanying you to the bakery, where you would occasionally lend a hand, then he would split off to spend the afternoon with Rosie. As time went on, he would ask you to join him.. It was intimidating at first, but Rosie was nothing but a sweetheart, you had no problem fitting in with the two.
when you returned to the hotel, you finally mustered the courage to call Lucifer. With a quick pep-talk to yourself, you held your breath before bringing the phone to your ear. He picked up immediately.
“Hell- Erm.. uhh.. Shit, how do I -” Did he realize he answered the call?
“Helloo? Lucifer here - speaking! Who-who’s this..?” He knew who it was. You assumed this was just him trying to be casual. He wasn't very good at it.
“Lucifer - It’s me.. can we talk?” You were gripping the end of your sleeve nervously with your free hand.
“Yes! Yes, of course! When are you free? We can.. figure something out, right?” You could hear him tripping over himself, kicking things around, and something that sounded like a squeaky-toy being stepped on? His excitement made you giggle. Even with pulling your phone away to try and prevent your laughter coming through, he was losing his mind on the other end of the call. It felt like a nostalgic punch to the gut. He didn't realize how much he missed your laughter until now.
“I guess i’m free whenever.. Charlie doesn't like doing exercises on the weekend, so -” A breeze hit your face, blowing all your hair past your shoulders. Looking to the source, a golden edged portal had opened right in the middle of the hallway. A fidgeting Lucifer was standing with his hands behind his back, a nervous but excited looking grin across his face. You looked down to your phone, seeing the call was still going, then spotted his phone sitting on a table behind him. You let out the smallest huff, before hanging up and tucking your phone away.
“Missed me?” He said suavly, wiggling his eyebrows at you. God, you did. You couldn't admit that though. Your anger, guilt and nerves overshadowed any joy that he may have brought under different circumstances.
“Yeah, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” You rolled your eyes, beginning to step towards the portal. He reached his hand out to you, and he noticed you hesitating. “it’s uh- it’s a little bit of a drop if you step through the - um.. just.. wanted to -” you took his hand that he almost retracted, and carefully stepped over the border of the portal. You tried to keep your mind from noticing how your hand perfectly fit in his.
Static filled your core as you left the hotel, but before you could turn and see if Alastor was nearby, the portal had shut and the static ceased.
If he does anything to hurt you, I'll be right there.
Alastor's words rung through your head one last time. You finally met Lucifer eyes after literal decades.
“Um.. Tea?” Lucifer was fiddling with his ring again. Years ago, it was something you noticed he did whenever he was nervous. You nodded and watched as he conjured up everything needed to brew hot tea.
“What, you don't use any of the servants for that? Not even some angelic magic?” Small talk felt like it could make this moment less awkward. As he poured the already heated water into two teacups, he simply shook his head.
“Angelic power is great and all, but nothin’ beats fresh tea.” His smile was so sweet. You nervously balled up the sleeve of your sweater into your hand and brought it to your nose, breathing in the same sent that always seemed to calm you.
“And.. I- ahem.. I ended up finding other places for most of the staff after..” he said it quietly, unable to call attention to his missing spouse. Definitely a touchy subject for both of you. You finally looked around, realizing you recognized the tea room. It was small, but was walled in entirely with windows. It had a great view of the little garden that used to be brimming with difigured, yet beautiful, greenery. You took another look around the room, the nostalgia wearing off, taking in the dust and trash that was collected in the corners. The garden had died off as well. It wasn't completely unslightly, but the mess didn't make sense for a royal manor.
His words finally hit you.
“Found other places? What does that even mean?” You could feel your blood boil, watching him place the tea bags in each cup. You calmed for a moment, seeing that his hands were shaking.
“I just found places for them to work, is all. Sent the stylists to that Velvette girl in Pentagram City, some of the cooks went down to the Glutton Ring, ya know. Stuff like that. I wanted them to be taken care of.” He passed the cup to you, then pulled out one of the two chairs at the small table sitting in the center of the room.
“I just wanted to take care of them..since, I-I couldn't do that for you..” His voice was low, and when you attempted to look at his face he would sip from his cup or turn away. Don't be worried about him. He doesn’t deserve that.  It was all so long ago, it doesn't matter. Remember why you're here. 
“Good for them. Now, I'm here because you're bugging Charlie. Stop asking about me idiot, she's gonna think something’s wrong.” You placed your half empty cup down. He choked on his drink at your words, not realizing that you had seen the poorly written texts that he was sending to Charlie.
“And nothing is wrong. Right?” Lucifer scratched the back of his neck nervously, then opened his mouth as if to say something. He didn't. He simply nodded at first. 
“Y-Yup, right.. Everything's fine. l'll stop asking about you.” You went to stand, brushing the wrinkles from your skirt off as you did. That's that. You came here to get Lucifer to stop bugging Charlie and that's what you did. There's no other reason for you to  -
“Wait, please..!” His hand took a hold of yours, as he almost stumbled out of his chair to keep you from walking off. “I just want to say - “
“ - no you don't have to. It was a long time ago. Everyone makes mistakes, right?” You tried your best to keep your cool, but clearly it wasn't working. He winced at your words, releasing his hold on you.
“I have no excuse. I can't make it all go away, I still feel - “ he clasped his hand to his chest, struggling to figure out what he's trying to say.
“I'm sorry. I don't need you to forgive me, but please know, that I am sorry.” The room went silent, with your back towards him, the only thing you could hear was the beating of your own heart. Lucifer didn't know what to do, until the silence was broken by a pathetic little sniffle.
Dammit, not again. Don't let him get to you. Keep your walls up.
He quickly approaches you, his hands hovering over your shoulder, as if you’d shatter if he touched you.
“Nono, please, I -uhh.. I'll leave Charlie alone! I'll stop talking to you, I'll leave you alone if -”
With a quick turn, finally faced him. Letting out a breath you'd been holding in for far too long, you rush towards him with the intent to meet him with a long overdue embrace. The sudden leap left him staggering backwards, tripping over nothing and bringing both of you to the floor. “Don't you dare! H-How could you.. why would think that's what I want..?” Your words were muffled into his shoulder, since he had placed a hand over your head to protect you from the fall. Not even acknowledging that you were suddenly sitting on the floor between his legs, he finally managed to process your words. It took him a moment to even try and reciprocate the hug. He hadn’t been touched like this for years, it nearly overwhelmed his senses.
“ I want to know what happened that night! I want to know how you feel, or I guess felt, about me.. I dont care if it hurts, please tell me the truth..” all of the questions you've been asking yourself for years suddenly spilled out.
You felt absolutely pathetic, relying on him to tell you everything okay. But fuck, you needed this. Even if you never talk to him again after this, you needed some kind of closure.
“Woah- that's uh.. that's alot to drop on guy.. Uhm…” It wasn't like he didn't want to admit what he was feeling. With the relationship he had with Lillith, he had just become accustomed to not talking about himself much. That being said, with one look Into your teary eyes, he was all yours. He carefully took your hands from around his waist and held them in his own. He gently traced his thumbs along the top of your hands, letting you calm down before he went on.
“I.. I think about you all the time, I always have. I don't know what I would've done differently that night, but I'd do anything to take it back. To fix it..” The sweet smile on his face barely made his words sound better.
“I don't understand, Lucifer.” Your voice was quiet, and cracked a bit when his name passed your lips. You saw him jolt slightly, hearing his own name through your sweet, yet saddened voice.
“Well, I guess..Li-Lillith and I-” You both winced at the mention of her name. “- we weren't what everyone expected of us. And you were one of the only demons to know that. She- ugh.. I don’t know she left without a word, without a note - I have no idea where she went.” You felt like you were getting let in on a secret that he had been keeping for years. And maybe that's exactly what was happening. Your face went pale, your head swaying slightly, Lucifer took a hold of your arms and helped you stand, guided you back to your seat.
“It's not because of me, is it?” You said quietly, as if Lillith was just around the corner, ready to scold the two of you. Again.
“No! No, geez, if it has anything to do with you, then I'm to blame. Don't worry.” He still smiled at you, his face becoming strained after grinning for so long, then placed a hand over yours.
“Don't worry? Yeah! That shouldn't be too hard.. you idiot.” You rolled your eyes, but didn't pull away at his touch.
“I'll get straight to the point then, if you think I'm such a clown -” you couldn't help but grin at his self deprecating humor, and he's so relieved to see your smile.
“With you being in Charlie's life again, I'd like to.. I don't know, clear the air? Try and patch things up..?” You went to deject the idea, but he went on before you could.
“I know it won't be easy, and it's okay if it doesn't work out. But we all used to have so much fun together.. I think right now, it could be good for Charlie, and me, to have someone like you around.. I want you back in my life.” His little spiel seemed scripted up until that last part. Your heart throbbed. You were known to always decline help from people, avoid handouts, but the rush you felt hearing Lucifer say he needs you, you were almost swooning.
“Besides, we've both grown up! Moved on-  Right? I have all of Hell to keep an eye on, and you've got your little boyfriend back at the hotel so -” You wasted no time in correcting him. The idea of him thinking you had moved on with another demon made you panic for some reason you would never admit to. Why did he think you had a boyfriend? Who would - 
“Al?? Oh no, it's not like that, I swear. He's just been a good friend to me since I went to the hotel, is all.” 
“Al, huh?” He grumbled, leaning back in his seat ans crossing his arms over his chest. The warmth he left on your hand was immediately missed.
“Alastor, you know. The.. um.. You met him.” You held the sleeve of your sweater to your nose again, allowing the sweet air into your lungs. Fuck, he couldnt take his eyes off of you. He never wanted to take his eyes off of you, again. You just looked so pure in your little sweater.
But, that sweater.. something seemed off about it to Lucifer. He could feel some strange energy emitting off of it. It didn't come off as dangerous, but it definitely left him feeling uneasy. Like a headache that's just barely there, suffocating his thoughts. He's felt that before. It clouded his actions and judgements during his fight with-
“Hey, uh.. Be careful around that deer guy, will you? He seems pretty intimidating. Not to me, of course, but you know. Just in case.”
“Just in case of what?” You leaned forward, with your elbows on the table, propping your chin up. “Are you jealous?”
“Wha-What?? Of course not, I'm the king of Hell, I obviously trump him in every aspect.” There it was. There was that cocky, little bundle of nerves you used to know all those years ago. Everything finally hit you with the lost time, seeing that side of him.
“Lucifer, I missed so much. I wanted to be there for her, for Charlie.. I know I was just a babysitter, but there was so much more I wanted to do, so many things I wish I could've seen with her. With you, too.” You placed your hand overtop of his, just as he did to you earlier. He obviously wasn't expecting the reciprocation, flinching slightly at your touch.
“I guess I get what you're saying.. about taking that day back? That maybe if I didnt attack you the way I did, that I could be there longer. But… I was in love, Lucifer.” He stifled any giggles at the idea that you considered that kiss an attack, but nothing mattered after what you had said. He immediately flushed in the face at your words.
“In love..?” He barely whispered the words, his eyes sparkling. He felt a stabbing sensation in his chest, a familiar one, but still one that he hadn't felt in years.
“Yeah.. hm, it would've happened sooner or later, I think. I think I would've done it at some later point, if it didnt happen then.. I guess I'm just glad I left before Charlie could remember me. It all worked out, so - I guess what i’m saying is - we can try. Let's try being friends, again.”
What a bittersweet resolution.
“Okay. I'd like that.” He was fighting off any unwanted feelings. Burying any ideas to just profess that he felt the same way, and that he still does. That he wants to pick back up right where you left off. That he barely kept the longing, of feeling your lips against his, at bay. No matter how hard that was, things were looking up. Don’t blow it, Lucifer.
You chatted for a little while longer. You told him about your struggles after you were fired, all your interactions in Cannibal Town, the good and bad, then your eventual arrival at the hotel. The conversation lightened a bit, as you told stories about Charlie, giving him a much needed update on how she was doing when she wasn't stressing about a visit from him. You went on, talking about the other residents that he didnt have a chance to interact with last time. Obviously, that part of the conversation went into heavy detail about Alastor and all his little gifts and kindness.
Before you noticed, Lucifer held the edges of his chair, his hands gripping tightly into the metal at every little sigh or giggle you'd make in reference to something Alastor did. He'd dismiss it as jealousy for now. But that didn't stop him from rerunning that one moment in his mind. The moment where he was holding you. Touching the small of your back, just like how he used to.
The way you stood so close to him, that he could wrap his slender arm completely around your waist, and the confidence in your dismissal of Luficer's general presence. It was commendable, no matter the subject, he loved seeing your more confident side. Your words still hurt. The topic eventually came up.
“Oh god, Lucifer! I'm so sorry, I almost forgot about that.. I didnt mean anything, that was completely rude of me to treat you like that. I felt something come over me, seeing your face again, I just - I don't know, it was probably just some repressed rage? I'm sorry.” He quickly waved his hands, offering you reassurance in your actions, admitting that he felt he deserved it after everything.
“Don't say that, I was out of line. What you did to me doesn't excuse my actions.” You admitted. Was forgiveness possible in this situation? He had pushed the possibility so far down in his mind that a mutual respect seemed like an unachievable goal. And any reciprocated feelings were merely a dream.
This felt like a dream.
You asked how he was. He didn't hear that question often, so he didn't really answer with fun stories or anything exciting. His mind went into autopilot after you left. And after Lillith left, a lot of memories seemed suppressed. You asked about Charlie. He was worried you'd do that.
“Well- She uh.. went through her whole teenage phase, you know, goth makeup, boyfriends, a bunch of stuff she grew out of. She spent more time with.. her m-mother, though.. as she got older. But hey! Here she is now, doing the whole hotel thing, I'm very proud of her.” He nodded, clearly ready to move off the topic. But you weren’t.
“She looked up to you, you know. A lot. Oh man, she would cry for you all the time, constantly try to get into your workshop - as cute as it was, I wasn't ready to chase her down all the time. And i’d say she still looks up to you, Lucifer. You inspired her, I can tell.” You swayed the backwash of your tea in your cup, the pot was emptied long ago. Looking up, you see a trembling smile then watch him exhale a shaky sigh.
“Thank you.” He said softly. You couldn't stop yourself from leaning towards him a bit, after placing your cup down with a small clink.
Stop, Don't do this again.
Things might be different this time, but it can only go wrong in some other way, you were sure of it. Still, he leaned in as well. As you got closer, ready to shut your eyes to the reality and just let your fantasies take over, he reeled back, cover his nose and mouth with his hand. You jumped back, clearly embarrassed. He wouldnt call attention to it, leaving you to wonder what went wrong, but the scent from the sweater. It was disgusting to him.
“O-Okay, good catch up. I should get going, I - umm.. I promised Charlie I'd help her with something, so..” That was a lie. But if you spent another moment in that room with him alone, you'd have no control over what happened next.
“Oh.. right. Here -” He rose from his chair and opened the portal back up, leading to the same hallway you were in before. Turning back to him as he approached you, neither of you really said goodbye. Neither of you wanted to say goodbye. After an awkward exchange of trying to figure out if this should end with a handshake, a wave, a kiss - nope not that one. a kiss would be too much. But a hug?
Lucifer carefully placed his arms around you, encasing you close to his chest. He could feel your heart rate increase. The scent of your cardigan you wore overwhelmed him, but he refused to let go after feeling your arms lay comfortably around the back of his waist.
Good lord, this man hadn't gotten any in centuries. it took all of his strength to not trail his hands underneath that damned sweater and pull it off of you, feeling his way up your torso, sliding just the clawed tips of his fingers under your shirt until you - 
“Lucifer?” Your words were mumbled, your face pressed against his chest after he had tightened his grip.
“Hoof- sorry.” He quickly pulled away. You immediately missed the touch, but it was definitely for the best. For both of you.
“Well, Thanks for coming by.. you have my number..? Right! Call me whenever you want, I'm not busy-” Sure. The king of Hell wasn't busy. He just didn't want to admit that he’d drop anything he was doing if it meant hearing your voice. You nodded your head, taking a firm grip on his hand as you stepped carefully out of the portal and back into the hotel.
“I'll see you, Lucifer.” You said sweetly, he visibly melted at your words.
“I hope so.” With a quick wave, the portal cinched shut.
---
Alastor stood in the hallway, right where the portal had closed, greeting you with a stretched smile.
“Darling! How was your little visit? I wasn't expecting him to sweep you off your feet so soon, I hope it went well.” He approached you, tapping his microphone to the ground and leaning into you.
“You never called for me, I’m hoping he didn’t hurt you. Again.” His voice crackled and a high pitch ring made you cover your ears for a moment.
“No, Alastor, it was good! We're gonna try and work things out, see if we can be friends again. I think it went the best it could, if you ask me.” You hummed with a sense of confidence, strolling dwon the hall with Alastor following beside you. You didn't notice his eye twitch and his ears folding back at the mention of his full name. He was losing you.
“Just be careful, dear! We don’t want you to make any mistakes again, do we?” He had no idea what he was talking about. Right? You hadn’t told him anything.
“Well, it’s about time I run some of my errands. Let me know if I can be of service to you.” A signature greeting for you at this point, Alastor reaches for your hand and presses another kiss across your knuckles. He looks up at you the way he usually does, but he let his lips linger for just a moment longer. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he tilted your hand to place his nose against the sleeve of your gifted sweater, inhaling the scent and exhaling with a hum.
“R-right, I will. Thanks.” You pulled away from his grasp, his eyes suddenly shooting open. You pulled away from him. That hasn't happened before. He wasn't nervous, exactly. But he did disappear into his shadow, which darted down the hall in the blink of an eye, leaving you with nothing but innocent curiosity.
♡ ♡ ♡
To be continued! Stay Tuned ;)
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midnightstargazer · 7 hours
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In OotP, when Regulus is first mentioned, this is how he's introduced:
"He was younger than me," said Sirius, "and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded."
The juxtaposition of those two things - younger and a better son - stands out because the Blacks are such an old-fashioned family. Sirius and Regulus seem like a typical "heir and a spare" situation, so for the spare to be a "better son" than the heir is a big deal.
In DH, when Harry visits the top floor of Grimmauld Place, one thing he notices is that Sirius had the larger bedroom. To me, this suggests that, at least when they were young children, their parents showed more favoritism to Sirius. He was, after all, the oldest and the heir. Given that Bellatrix and Walburga didn't have quiet, passive temperaments either, I doubt his personality would be seen as a problem until he ended up in Gryffindor, befriending the wrong people and rejecting everything the family stood for.
Regulus's more dutiful and obedient attitude was no doubt something they appreciated once Sirius really started rebelling, and it's easy to imagine them pitting their sons against each other: look at your brother, he's in the right house, he's rarely ever in detention, he's got friends we approve of - why can't you be like him? But still, they didn't disown Sirius until he ran away at sixteen. This suggests to me that any favoritism towards Regulus was, at least at first, an attempt to bring Sirius back into line and get him to behave the way they expected.
Even after Sirius ran away, they kept his room exactly as it was. Even if everything on the walls was attached with a permanent sticking charm, it shouldn't have been too difficult to cover it up. Furniture and personal items could certainly be gotten rid of. The fact that the room was still pretty much untouched tells me they kept holding out hope he might come back.
However, I do think that things would have changed for Regulus after Sirius was Sorted into Gryffindor and after he ran away. In both cases, there would have been more pressure on him to live up to the family's expectations. The impression we're given of Regulus in the books is of someone who didn't really think for himself and was very proud of his conformity. It seems reasonable to me that that would have come from growing up with an older brother who constantly defied their parents and, as a result, had lost their favoritism. And knowing, of course, that their love for him was just as conditional.
(That's not me saying he was forced into anything. I actually don't think Orion and Walburga would have forced either of their sons to join the Death Eaters. But I do think Regulus felt he had something to prove, was taught basically the same ideology at home, and was therefore easier to radicalize. And I think that feeling of having something to prove probably came, at least in part, from watching Sirius go from favorite son and heir to scapegoat to disowned.)
Both brothers, I think, ended up living very different lives than their family would've chosen for them. They would've been expected to marry pure-blood women and have kids, to support the blood purist ideology but not actually risk their lives for it, and either to live off their inherited wealth or to work in relatively safe, prestigious careers. So, in different ways, they both fell short.
I do think there was definitely a scapegoat and golden child dynamic, but I think it's a bit more complicated than that: changing favoritism through the years as it became more and more obvious that Sirius wouldn't fall into line with the family expectations, first to pit them against each other and then to cut Sirius off and replace him with Regulus.
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ASK: headcannon of Percy Jackson's younger sibling and child of Poseidon ofc! i'll go w gn!reader since you didn't specify! (I accidentally deleted the og ask)
{Child of Poseidon HCs}
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When Percy found out you were his sibling, he was ecstatic but also felt bad for you. After all the pain and anger the few children of the Big Three went through, he hated that his newly-found sibling would have to go through it too.
He introduced you to Tyson, who, though he was jealous in the beginning, loves you just as much as he loves Percy. It took him like a day for him to warm up to you but you were the first person to love him like Percy did.
Percy loves you and protected you from all he can. Every year after summer in Camp Half-Blood Percy drove you to Sally's ever since she adopted you because your mother died. She loves you like you're her own daughter. This was to keep you near him so he could keep you safe from monsters.
He loves you like you're his full-blooded sibling, and nothing could ever stop the two of you from being the most Poseidon-like demigods ever to be seen.
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if you saw me accidentally posting this u didnt 💀
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natti-ice · 1 day
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Would You Have Me?- Sirius Black.
Pairing: Sirius Black x fem!reader
Summary: Y/N is the only person in Sirius’ life he truly cares about, he wouldn’t mind if it was only them
Warnings: modern high school au!, written in third person (she/her pronouns) (1.6k words)
Author's note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!
Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3
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The final bell rang, it was Friday hundreds of students poured out of the school doors ready for the weekend. Y/N was among the swarm of kids, headed toward her bus. Thankful it was the weekend, this week had been a lot on her. Off in the distance, she could hear her name over the loud voices. Looking around shielding her eyes from the sun, she could see a tall boy headed her way. 
It was Sirius
"There you are," he said when he reached her, throwing his arm around her shoulder "Where are you off to?" he asked
"My bus" she pointed to the big yellow vehicle
"C'mon, I'll take you home" he offered
"Really?" she asked
"Yeah, you can tell me all about your day"
They walked to the student parking lot, Sirius drove a black '89 Dodge charger. It was a little squeaky, but he loves that car. 
He opens the passenger door for Y/N, closing it once she was in. Sirius Drove the long way to her house so they could talk longer.
"How was your day, dear?" he asks pulling out of the campus
"It was fine, I'm glad the week is over. Everything has been a lot lately" 
It was their junior year, everyone is starting to worry about their futures. Their career, college, exams, everything stressful. 
"I know what you mean, it feels like we have to know everything about the future before it happens" he replies
They continue their conversation all the way to Y/N's house. They've always been able to tell each other everything without feeling judged. Nowadays, it feels like you have to make sure everything is perfect because the whole world is watching, waiting for you to fall.
He was her safe place, and she was his. 
Sirius pulls up in front of her house, parking the car.
"Thanks for the ride, Sirius" she says opening the car door
"Of course, love. Hey, do you wanna hang out tomorrow?" he asks
"Yeah, sure I'll ask my parents. I'll text you" she answers
"Great, I'll see you soon then" He smiles
"Bye" she says closing the door.
He waits for her to go inside before driving off like he does every time. He sees her almost every day, but he still gets excited when they hang out. It's like a new experience every time, even when they've done it one hundred times before.
-
When he got home, he waited anxiously for her text. Her parents have never said no before, but it still made him a little nervous. He's made sure over the years that her parents liked him, he didn't want them to think he was just some guy who was only hanging out with their daughter to get in her pants.
He started his homework that probably won't get finished till Monday morning, checking his phone every few minutes.
Finally, after what felt like an hour, she texted him
parents said it's cool What did you have in mind?
 Movie? Wonka is still showing. Stay at my place after?
Timothee Chalamet? HELL YEAH! Definitely down for a sleepover
 Great! I'll pick u up at 4
See you then! <3
He was happy that she could come, he liked being able to get out of the house and escape with her. Everyone has family issues, his family was distant from each other. It was almost like they were roommates, not a family. His parents didn't care if he was gone or if he had someone over.
His brother stayed in his room most of the day when he got home from school. Their bond was limited to short interactions in the dining room on special occasions.
Y/N was his real family, she was always there for him whenever he needed her. At school, many people claimed to be his friend, they'd say hey in the hallway or talk about some game that happened the night before. None of them would actually have a real meaningful conversation with him.
He didn't get why he was so popular, he was sociable and easy on the eyes sure, but nobody knew the real him. It seemed like they had all made a false version of him in their heads. A mysterious ladies' man who could have anyone he wanted.
That wasn't true at all, he wasn't a mystery at all. He was very open once you got to know him, only Y/N had ever made the effort to do so. The whole 'ladies' man' thing was really funny to him. He'd never had a serious girlfriend, a few dates here and there but nothing real.
Many of those girls thought that him and Y/N had a thing going on so they would stop talking to him completely. At first he didn't know why they would think that, he thought their friendship seemed very platonic. Then he realized some of the things they would do seemed a little too friendly.
That didn't stop him. If he was honest, he didn't care about those girls at school. If there was only one girl in the world and he had to pick her. It would be Y/N. Always Y/N.
-
Saturday came around, Sirius waited all day for 4 o'clock. He didn't like to be late, he pulled up in front of her house a few minutes early so he could greet her parents.
Turning off his car, walking up to the front door. He rings the doorbell that has a little camera on it. A few seconds later, her mother opens the door
"Sirius, how are you, dear?" she asks bringing him in for a hug
'I'm great, Mrs. L/N. How's everything?"
"Everything's fine, Y/N should be ready by now." she told the boy "Y/N, Sirius is here!" she yelled up the stairs
She came down the stairs, a small bag in her hand. 
"Sorry, had to make sure I had everything, are you ready?" she asks Sirius
"Yeah, I'll see you later, Mrs. L/N" 
He and Y/N get in his car, driving to the local movie theater. 
That movie was almost 3 hours long, but that's okay. They didn't mind sitting in a dark room together in silence. It was much later, the sun was starting to set when they headed towards Sirius' house.
His parent's car wasn't in the driveway thankfully, awkward hellos are never fun. They realize they're starving and order take out.
Once it finally arrives, he takes her up to his room. Passing by Regulus' room, she could hear gunfire from some video game.
"Don't mind him, it's like he's married to the game. Hardly comes out the room" Sirius explains opening his bedroom door.
It was relatively clean, only because he knew she was coming over. His walls were lined with movie posters from the 80s and now, some of his favorite vinyls, and photo booth pictures of him and Y/N from various locations.
He made sure his space represented him. The real him. 
They spend the next couple of hours eating and watching random videos on youtube until they got bored of it. Putting on Evermore on as background music as they talked.
Both of them are sitting on the floor, Sirius leaning against the wall, Y/N against his bed
They jumped from topic to topic as the night progressed, getting into the more personal topics. A few weeks ago, Y/N started talking to a boy named Kevin. She seemed to have liked him until she stopped talking about him.
Sirius had been curious about that for a while, he thought it was a good time to ask
"Whatever happened to that Kevin guy? I thought you two were getting serious" he asks
"Oh him? That's long gone" she shrugged, "He said he just didn't feel anything for me" she explained, she didn't show it but she was a little hurt by the boy's words.
"Oh my god, he sucks. Anyone would be more than lucky to have you" He was mad that anyone would treat her like this. "Fuck that guy"
"It's alright, I didn't need him in my life" she wanted to get the topic off her "What about you? Anyone new in your life?"
"Nah" he smiles "I don't want anyone new, honestly"
"What do you mean?" she asks
"I'm happy just having you in my life, sometimes I wish it could always just be you and me" he says in a low voice
"That would be great, honestly. Just us against the world" she agrees
"Y/N?" his voice barely above a whisper, fidgeting with a ring on his hand
"Yeah?" 
He swallowed before replying, "I think I'm in love with you"
"What?" she laughed nervously, he got up and sat next to her
"When I think of my future, having a family and owning a house, you're there right next to me. I've tried to convince myself that it's only because there isn't anyone else in my life" He pauses searching her face for any sort of bad emotion "I know now, it's because I don't want anyone else in my life but you"
Y/N's brain was all over the place, trying to figure out what to say. Sirius has been her rock for so long, she had a small crush on him. She didn't think he would ever reciprocate it
"I don't know what to say" she admits
"That's alright, you don't have to say anything. If you're willing, maybe we could see if this goes anywhere?" 
She reaches down grabbing his hand, lacing her fingers with his. "I think we can make it work" she smiles "After all, we're still getting married at 30 right?" she laughed
"Right Right. A pact is a pact, dear" he smiles
She gives him a small kiss on the cheek, slowly pulling away. Their faces were dangerously close together, warm breath fanning against their skin. Y/N closes the distance. Their lips perfectly fitting each other, just like they were made for each other.
Sirius pulled away, not wanting things to get carried away. Y/N rest her head on his shoulder
"So, what color should our invitations be?"
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Tag list:
@thebiggestnaturaldisaster @madwcman @de-duchess @timbradfordisbae @mommymilkerfanclub @oatmilkriver @hisparentsgallerryy
join a tag list!
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hooved · 1 year
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nothing makes me block someone faster than them writing paragraphs about how much they hate odo in the tags on my posts about him
#tbh i feel like most ppl who hate him that much just severely misunderstand him#they just go ''ew he's a cop'' and refuse to accept that he's a nuanced character with trauma and regrets and a conscience#who was abused and manipulated and raised in a violent environment surrounded by ppl who think he's a freak#and was never taught how to handle his emotions in a healthy way. never felt like he was worthy of love#he's deeply flawed and he's done horrible things in the past but it haunts him. he hates himself for it#i truly don't believe he's a bad person. he was just forced into unfortunate circumstances#he's emotional and misguided and makes a lot of mistakes but he really does want to be a good person#he wants to help others and keep them safe even if it means hurting himself#he's a very complicated character but i feel so protective of him because i understand that despite all of this he's very fragile#all he needed was someone who loved and cared for him enough to steer him in the right direction and he didn't have that#he had to try to learn how the world works on his own and that went.....pretty badly to say the least#but it was either that or continue to be tortured and thought of as nothing more than an object#he was essentially like a scared animal just trying to survive#and much like a scared animal. they may bite but it's either in self defense or a sign of bad ownership. it's not entirely their fault#anyway i could go on and on and on forever about this topic#(and don't even get me started on how badly you all misinterpret the shit that happened with him and the founder)#but anyway. i love odo very much. odo haters dni
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fruitsyrups · 8 months
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Random yes but thank u for making that frusan art awhile ago it's adorable and i love seeing more art of this underappreciated ship :D!!!
ahhh thank you!!! frusan is so underrated FOR REAL, i guess it's probably because after Islands they all but disappeared (like i think they were only shown twice after that and that's including in Fionna & Cake (which i actually missed when i watched it bc its such a brief glimpse)) but like. still. I actually have a little idea for another frusan drawing (frieda and susan talking on a roof grown-up edition) but I have to break up the dialogue into parts & think of more Susan Reactions so it's not just Frieda monologuing at her lol
#frieda is such a compelling character to me augh because seriously living on the islands sounds like. idk. scary in an existential way#like if I lived on that tiny(?) island always with the same people and didn't have hope that I would maybe someday get to explore someplace#new and meet new people. i would explode i think.#and frieda HAS hope & the drive to follow through with it#but then susan goes robo-mode and like surely any hope is just GONE after that#thats such a crazy interesting dynamic can't believe everyone else on earth isn't also insane about this#obviously it's not susan's fault that she went robo-mode but it's still recieved as a betrayal yk. so sad :(#and then susan went after finn & they probably all assumed she was dead#AHHH??? i can't even imagine how that would have felt for frieda?? like imagine you're trying to get off the islands and your favourite#person won't go with you but she helps you. but then she betrays you (not her fault but yk) and then (i'm assuming its not even that long#after) she's sent off the islands and she goes willingly#like wowww way to rub salt in the wound susan omg (i love susan this is not susan negativity)#my little angsty hc about that is like. frieda still holds a little bit of resentment towards her for what happened but she knows she#shouldn't because what if susan was right? what if she left the islands and it wasn't safe and she DIED?#but then also what if she isn't? what if she just left and it wasn't worth coming back? what if frieda wasn't worth coming back for? yanno#stuff like that. AGHHH hhh i love frieda#and then they go adventuring together and work it out and kiss on the mouth#uhhh i'll stop myself there before i write a whole essay in the tags (or maybe i already have ahahah...) but yeah. i love frusan :3
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inkskinned · 3 months
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i have spent a few days listening to the music you like. you have a tattoo of the band's logo on your ribs. you got it when you were still kind of a kid. my first tattoo was a bird instead. i did the math - we got our first tattoos in the same calendar year. isn't that kind of cool.
my mom loves hallmark movies, so i grew up thinking love would look like a firework. it feels like one, after all. it's just that my house wasn't safe. i thought love was a weapon, could be pointed at your eyes. could lose a finger to it, or teeth. my father used to say passion is everything. i thought that meant constant fighting was a good thing. i thought that meant love looked like a week of bickering, because it was worth the the weekend's boombox apology. i thought quiet love was boring. i thought love had to blot out everything, compel the body and the mind like puppetry. i thought love looks like ruining your own dinner table - but at least you set a feast.
but love looks like a scarf. your hands smoothing it down my chest, being sure each of the edges are tucked in, worried about my asthma attacks being cold-activated. i race you while i'm wearing heels, you hold my hand to guide me downhill while walking my dog. we dance in my living room to waltz of the flowers, i show you how to hold your arms in proper ballet port de bras. you write a song about looking out of my window while the snow falls. i ask you to text my friends back while i'm driving. you play dj in the front seat. somewhere on route 93, we start murmuring about secret things.
oh. there is a difference between peace and dispassion. it was never that i feared quiet, it's that i didn't know what safe felt like. i liked the chaos because it was familiar, not because it was kind. i think i used to fear the word wife. i didn't like the idea of long, lonely days and being yelled at for small things. i didn't like the idea of sacrificing my one beautiful life.
you meet my friends and make a point to learn things about them. we both get excited about the other person's passions. you read my book for hours, squinting at the small words. i try to understand basic guitar information. we talk for four hours on the phone while i string together a garland. we talk for six hours while you write a poem. i save a pintrest tip for the summer about making paper kites. i plan us a week-long trip to maine, map out my favorite places for an eventual hike. you fall asleep on the ride home, and i turn down the radio so it won't wake you up. your quiet hands fold over mine.
when i look up, the stars are brighter. how carefully you've woven gold into the corners of my life. when i move, i feel some part of my soul reflected back onto you.
oh, love is not a net. it's a blanket.
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mrsbarnesblog · 6 months
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personal pillow
masterlist ko-fi ao3
Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Avenger! Reader
Summary: You confront avengers when they start teasing Bucky about being too soft.
Word count: 1.6k
Warnings: established relationship, avengers tease bucky, he's a grumpy old man, fluff
Author’s note: soft bucky is my everything, and I literally cannot imagine him acting another way.
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Bucky Barnes wasn't the most affectionate and nice person on earth. Always grumpy and with an attitude, didn’t like physical touch, and hated being vulnerable and soft. However, when you were alone in your room, he was a completely different man. 
The only thing that he loved more than you, food, and old music was sleep. He hated it right after the Winter Soldier program was removed because of the violent and dark nightmares, but you were the solution to all of his problems. 
He loved sleeping with you. On you, to be exact. 
He accidentally discovered it once when he just threw himself onto your bed and somehow laid with his head on your stomach. 
You didn't know why your boyfriend liked it so much, but since that day he always ended up on your stomach, your boobs, or between your thighs with hands wrapped around your body, and it was almost impossible to drag him away. You always ran your fingers through his fluffy hair in soothing motions to ease the tension in his body, and it worked every single time. Bucky slept like a baby in your arms. 
Today he left early in the morning for training with Sam, but then he had a lot of paper work and something that needed to be done in the city, so you didn’t really talk to or see him. He only left a kiss on your forehead while you were still in bed and sent you a few messages throughout the day. 
It was your day off, and you didn’t feel like doing anything special or being productive. So you brought a fluffy comforter from your bed, a cup of hot chocolate, and sat in the common room to watch a movie on a big ass screen that Tony bought to show off.
When the film almost ended and you were already kind of sleepy, you heard firm footsteps from the hall. The tall and big body was standing in the doorframe, but you didn’t see your boyfriend’s face yet; it was pretty dark in the room.
“Hey, baby, how was your day?” You paused your movie and squinted to see Bucky. 
“Fucking amazing. A bunch of assholes and tons of reports that they sent me last minute.” He grumbled, coming closer to you. “Let’s go, I need my personal pillow or I won’t fall asleep.” 
You tried to hold back a laugh when you finally saw his face. Tired and frowned with pouty lips like a child. Bucky was painfully cute when he was a little bit mad and annoyed, and you didn’t want to do anything more than pinch his cheeks and kiss all of his face.
“You look so cute, gosh.” You smiled, biting your lip. “But I have only... fifteen minutes of my movie left, and I really want to finish it today. Do you want to lay on me here for now?” You opened the covers and pointed at your belly. 
Bucky stood there silently for a few seconds, still with a frown on his face.
“I don’t want these douchebags to see us here.”
“They won’t; Steve is on the mission, Natasha is already in her room, and Sam went on a date. C’mon, I’ll massage your head.” That was everything you needed to convince your boyfriend to give up. He took off his shoes and laid on top of you with his head on your stomach and hands around your waist. 
You covered your bodies with a duvet and stroked his hair, brushing it over and over again with your fingers. You felt that Bucky pulled up your shirt a little bit, and as soon as his cheek met with your warm skin, he heavily sighted, finally feeling safe and calm.
“That's okay, baby.” You cooed, massaging his scalp. “Do you want to talk about your day? What made you upset?” 
“No, just want to feel you, doll. Missed you so much.” He mumbled against your stomach and closed his eyes as your soft touches made his body almost melt into yours. 
“I missed you too. I’ll just finish my film and we’ll go to sleep, ‘kay?” Bucky just slightly nodded, already feeling too sleepy to actually say something. 
It didn’t take him too much time to fall asleep completely. Your gentle scratches and the way you rolled his hair around your finger, along with the muffled sound of the TV and soft cover on top of him, did their work, and Bucky was peacefully snoring on you in a span of a few seconds. 
You weren’t much better than him; your eyes started closing as soon as the credit scene began, and you didn’t have enough power in you to resist it, especially when a giant, hot human pillow was sleeping on top of you. 
So you just gave up. 
The first thing that you heard when you woke up was mumbled talk and laughter. Your eyes snapped open because your brain completely forgot that you, in fact, weren’t in your room or bed.
The common room was filled with almost everyone. For fuck’s sake, when was the last time you saw that many Avengers together in one room? And now all of them were sitting on the other couches and armchairs, looking at you and laughing. Well, they weren’t looking at you; they were looking at Bucky, who was still glued to your body. 
You quickly sat straight, now completely awake. The movements disturbed Bucky’s peaceful sleep, making him grumble and try to get you back under him.
“I didn’t know that Cyborgs could be so clingy.” The most annoying voice Bucky could’ve possibly heard in the morning filled his ears, and he lost every last piece of sleep in his body, sitting up on the couch. 
“What the fuck are you doing here, Willson? All of you, in fact.” Bucky looked around the room, seeing Sam, Nat, Wanda, Tony, and Clint with shit-eating smirks on their faces; Thor, who looked just happy to be involved; and Steve and Bruce, who actually felt uncomfortable to be there.
“Sorry, Buck, they just...” Steve wanted to apologize but was disturbed by Tony.
“Sam just told all of us to come here a few minutes ago because he had something hilarious. And look! The strong and scary Winter Soldier is being a softie for his girlfriend.” Tony laughed, almost dropping his cup of coffee. You didn’t even expect that, but you felt a sudden wave of anger going through your body because you were already sick of everyone pushing Bucky’s buttons. 
“Or maybe all of you should just mind your own business? You both would actually know something about Bucky if you tried anything besides making fun of him or trying to get him angry. You don’t even understand how fucking hard it is for him to communicate after everything that happened, and all of you are getting on my nerves. Just a bunch of children, I swear.” You growled, standing up and grabbing Bucky’s hand to drag him away. 
Everyone was surprised by your words, and even Bucky looked at you with a weird expression on his face but still stood up, holding your hand. 
“Sweets, it’s just a joke—” Natasha started.
“No, it’s not. I love you, Nat, I really do, but it’s not funny.” You looked around the room. “Y’all probably don’t understand the effect that your words  have, but I see in private what none of you can. And when I tell you that your mockery and jokes make everything worse, I really mean it.” Bucky awkwardly shifted near you under all of the eyes that were glued to him. He felt exposed by the way everyone saw how he showed his affection to you and that he, in fact, was a really touchy and sensitive person. “C’mon, Buck, everything’s okay.” You looked back at him with your usual soft eyes, and his whole attention was now focused completely on you. 
Everyone saw how Bucky’s body language changed when you talked to him, and even if someone like Tony or Sam couldn’t admit it out loud, the thought of being too harsh on Bucky appeared in their heads. 
Without any further words, you lead your boyfriend out of the common room, leaving the Avengers in an awkward silence. 
The comfort of your and Bucky’s shared room made you deeply inhale as soon as the door was closed behind you two. Before you could even say something, two strong hands wrapped around you from the back, and Bucky buried his face into your neck.
“Thank you, doll.” Your hand reached behind you to gently stroke Bucky's hair. “You didn’t have to do it, really. I got used to their words.” He squeezed you tighter, pressing his chest into your back.
“That’s not okay, baby. I’m sick of that. You may not say it to me or even admit it to yourself, but I see that it hurts you.” You turned around in his hands, placing your own on both sides of his face. “But that’s okay that you want to cuddle, to sleep on me, to be held. Really. There is nothing wrong with it. I’m really honored to be the person who is allowed to see your soft side.”
“I love you. Fuck, I love you so much, doll, you can’t even fucking imagine,” Bucky whispered before leaning forward to kiss you.
“I love you, James.”
“Can we stay here today? I don’t really want to talk with anyone besides my sweet and protective girl.” You couldn’t hold back your laughter at his teasing tone. 
“Of course we can, Buck.” That was your last word before Bucky lifted you off the ground, put you on the soft blankets of your bed, and climbed on top of you, happily wrapping around your body and falling asleep. 
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aphroditesmoon · 4 months
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wish you'd ask me
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clarisse la rue x fem!demigod!reader
summary: you're not good at reading subtle hints, clarisse realises that maybe she should've been more upfront with her feelings for you.
warnings: fluff, oblivious!reader, clarisse is down bad, reader is very neurodivergent coded, kissing, flirting, title n fic inspired by 'Wish You'd Ask Me' by Matt Maltese.
A/N: thank you for 1.9k followers!! I love you all dearly, my ask box and dms r always open, im glad that my writing is being enjoyed by so many people<3
wc: 4.5k
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You have been in camp half blood for more than 4 years. You have made yourself at home for the last several years. 
It was easy to view yourself as lesser or inadequate in comparison to other mortals during your days in the real world before you were sent to camp. The world has never failed to remind you of how different you were. Always too much or not good enough, always special and never normal
And it wasn't like you were dying for some sort of diagnosis to justify why you are the way you are, but upon discovering that you were actually a demigod, it felt like all the questions you've been harboring to yourself was finally answering themselves. 
Everything clicked. Everything made sense, though at the same time, it felt impossible. You were a very confused little girl when you first arrived at camp. A girl who just wanted someone to tell them that it'll all be alright in the end.
And you still remembered the first person to hold you by your shoulders and made you look into their eyes as they told you that it was all going to be okay.
The girl with beautiful long curls and dark piercing eyes. The girl that everyone else, apparently, was afraid of.
But you could never be afraid of Clarisse La Rue. 
Not with the way she smiles when every time she sees you, the way she never fails to make you feel included even in activities you're not capable of participating in. Not with the way your whole body electrifies every time your skin touches, when your hands brush against each other. 
It didn't matter what anyone think, because no one could change the perception you've built of her. Clarisse La Rue is good. Or at least she is to you.
When you first heard of the rumours surrounding her, you did think better than to force a friendship on her. You strayed away from her and stuck to your cabin siblings and your books, but you noticed daily how she'd still go out of her way to talk to you at least once a day.
It didn't need to be a long conversation, just a passing acknowledgement. An easygoing 'hey, how've you been doing.' Sometimes she'd even go as far as cracking a joke with you.
With how serious her face is whenever she make the jokes, you'd have to think twice as hard and thrice as faster than another person to try and guess if she was being genuine or not so you could fit in a necessary laugh when you needed to.
Even as her anger became more apparent because of the new kid's accidental climb to fame and embarrassing the Ares' cabin, she still found time to make a conversation with you.
It had been long since you tried to ignore or avoid her. You learned that her attention towards you is harmless, and that she seemed much more comfortable telling you certain things compared to others. If she has been viewing you as some sort of safe box, then you don't really mind it. You liked listening to her talk and keeping her heart's intent as your secret.
You too, talking to her. To some people, you are reserved,  
and to others, talkative. Either way, people find it easy to discard you at any moment they decide you are irritating.
But Clarisse listens. And she asks questions, she's patient- much patient that anyone could anticipate or guess. 
It may be hard for others to believe, but Clarisse is more complex than she seems. She had the capacity to be gentle, and she had the capacity to respect boundaries. The more time you spent with her, the more that side becomes easy for you to access.
Today, however,  marks a new record for your friendship with her. A few weeks ago, she had informed you of her newfound interest in the history of folklore monsters. What a coincidence that you were currently self-studying on that specific topic.
She insisted that you hook her in on whatever it is you're learning. She had even gotten you a doughnut to eat together outside the library as you told her of your insights of dragons and their theorized blindness and incapability to differentiate a variety of prey.
The conversation went well, she seemed immensely in awe of your knowledge and had no problem telling you how she felt. 
You even gave her some book recommendations, though you knew she wasn't much of a reader.
You felt a shift in your relationship that night and had spent the next three days studying more and more about the topic. And today, you had asked her to spend the evening with you. 
You shouldn't feel so nervous asking her to hang out. That is what friends do, after all.
She found you in the library, sitting on the floor in between two large bookshelves. She had been right on time and enthusiastically so. The two of you sat together, hidden by the shelves as some semblance of privacy. 
Clarisse looked confused when you had explained that you indeed wanted to spend the rest of the day in the library, but she accompanied you anyways.
You could never get sick of the smell of the books. Old and new, they all have some nostalgic past tied in between the pages, begging to be discovered. 
You had your back on the walls with tinted windows above your head as she's seated opposite of you in a criss-crossed position.
Today, the library isn't as packed as usual. There were still people walking in and out and checking out the books on the counter, but not too many that it became obnoxiously loud and annoying. 
After finishing another book of Monsters and how to spot them, you're feeling knowledgeable enough to explain the lore of the Giants to Clarisse, she had asked you about this the other day, giants have been long extinct to the point that some might even say they may have never even existed. And so you were interested in sharing with her all of the information you have learned about the majestic species of a beast.
You started with the general information. The basic understanding of what a Giant is the mythhs of Giants and the validity of those sources. Clarisse listened closely in the beginning, never interrupting you unless she had an actual question.
She seemed in awe of the stories you tell her of. You don't blame her, for you yourself have been most interested in the topic of Giants.
You were an hour an a half in when noticed her attention faltering. She leaned against the cases of books, her eyes twitched slightly when you began to explain the different types of giants, and the difference of how they operate.
Her hands are folded together on her lap, and you can feel her listening in on everything you're telling her as she adds in some commentary here and there, but you also felt that she wasn't entirely in on the conversation.
The dim lights of the library made the atmosphere feel warm and secluded, even with its vast space and many other campers hanging around in the other tables and shelves. You made sure to keep your voice low as you spoke in fear of the librarian kicking you out. 
You had a good reputation with the library workers, they liked how organized and polite you were. 
"A lot of people think their greatest strength is their size, which is valid, they are huge, but their real weapon is their mouth." You told Clarisse, ignoring the litter of books by your left that you had brought over for reference.
"They kiss you to death?" She asks suspiciously. You laughed shortly and shook your head. "No, I mean their breath."
She responds with an 'ohh.' 
"They're giants, so their mouth is large too, and you can easily tell what they had for breakfast even from their tall height. Their breaths are also known to be so rancid it could kill you, because they don't exactly eat what we eat." 
She raises a brow as she stretches her hands upwards. "Isn't that ogres?" 
"It's both." You confirmed.
You were about to continue your explanation but halted by instinct as you notice how her mouth keeps pursing together as if unsatisfied, and she has that look on her face that mimicked a confused expression. You're don't think there's anything to be confused of.
"Are you okay?" You asked her worriedly. Clarisse sits up straighter at the question and waved a hand off to assure you she's fine. "Of course, no yeah- I'm fine."
"You seem bored, you're not really interested in what I'm saying are you?” She opens her mouth to counter your words but hesitates to say anything. 
"I- well, I like giants-" She attempts, "-no you don't. " 
"No. I don't." She admits with a sigh. "But I thought you said you were interested in these kind of stuff?" You questioned her. "Well, yeah, like the general idea of it. I mean, I don't hate it, and I like hearing you talk about it." She answers with a shrug.
"Then why do you look disappointed? If you didn't want to come, you could've just told me. I wouldn't get mad." You told her honestly. It was conflicting for you to see her so confused on what to say, being so picky with the words she chooses.
You figured she's probably reluctant to hurt your feelings. That is a notion you're used to. You'd rather she tell you the truth to your face than to be catered around like a time ticking bomb that everyone's so afraid might explode at any time. 
"When you asked me out yesterday, you told me this would be an 'evening to remember." She tells you with such confidence like it was an explanation to her weird behaviour today.
"You don't think this is an evening to remember?" You sincerely inquire.
"No, I do! I just- well, when you said that I didn't think you'd mean we'd be doing this." Your frown deepens as you try to figure out what she means, eyeing her body language closely. “What do you mean? I told you I wanted to hang out.” 
A part of you is offended. She was the one who had said she liked hearing you speak, why would she be disappointed that this was your idea of spending time together?
"I don't know, I thought we'd just be doing...something else?"
It didn't matter what she had really meant with that. You felt completely embarrassed once she finished her sentence. Why was it that everyone else had no problem having long conversations with their friends, but when it came to you, it's all too awkward, unnecessary, and odd? 
You liked Clarisse, you considered her your friend. Sometimes you wonder if it could ever be more, but you never entertain those thoughts because you don't want to ruin what the two of you already have. 
But moments like these resemble a huge slap in the face by the universe.
You couldn't even be good friends with her, how ridiculous of you to think that there could ever be something more.
"Okay, um, maybe we should just go back to our cabin." You decided whilst standing up and picking up the stack of books you're currently borrowing from the library, ready to leave the place without waiting for her.
"Hey, wait." She called out as you walked past her. You spared her a glance, trying your best not to show how upset you are.  “We're friends." She says it so much like a question that you weren't sure if she's even sure of the fact herself until she continued speaking. "I like hanging out with you."
Another thing that you weren't sure if she really meant. "Sure." You replied thinking it's the most suitable response. 
Before she could say anything else, you turned around and started picking up your pace until you disappeared out of her sight.
You have been consistently ignoring Clarisse. Which proved to be harder than expected.
When you pass by her camp or the training ground, you make a mental note to always look down or to your front as to never accidentally cross eyes with her.
And everytime you hear her call out your name, you keep walking like you didn't even hear her, knowing that she wouldn't be bold enough to call for you again. After all, she still had a reputation to uphold.
If ignoring her wasn't hard enough, having to deal with how you felt for her is worse.
You've been avoiding confrontation with yourself for weeks even before you decided to go no contact with her.
And so far, you thought you've been handling it pretty well. Except for days where you don't see her where she's expected to be. You tell yourself that you don't care as you make your way to training in the day and reading in the evening, and yet you still go back on your own words when you asked a passerby Ares kid on where his cabin leader was.
"She's dunking some kid's head into a toilet bowl." Of course she was.
You thanked the dude and went back on your way to your cabin. It's close to dusk, the sky is turning orange and the sun is dipping itself below the earth. You take your time returning to your cabin as you enjoy the way the sun slowly removes itself from anyone's viewing.
You wondered to yourself if things like these are what makes you weird or off-putting to some people.
Was enjoying nature and having niche interests only cute when it's done by girls pretty enough to be cool or if it's only in romance movies or books.
You don't find yourself weird, in fact you think all of your hobbies are pretty common and usual, and yet the way Clarisse had spoken to you at the library last week had made you feel unnatural.
You had wanted to do normal people things with her, but maybe your perception of normal is different to her.
Either way, you are pretty hurt with how she reacted. You loved her still, of course. It's kind of hard to unlike the girl you've been obsessed with since you were 15.
Once you finally reach your cabin, you quickly put down all of your books and your tiny sling back by the side before making it to the shower to refresh yourself before dinner.
You thought it hilarious of how hard you're trying not to care about Clarisse, and yet as you're cleaning yourself up, changing your clothes and attempting to read at least 15 pages of your World's Most Dangerous Beasts book, you could only think of her.
What would it take for her to think that you're cool, what kind of things did she want to do instead of listening to you yap around for 2 hours on what is an equivalent of a boring dinosaur facts, not that you really think dinosaurs are boring.
During dinner, you kept to siblings and had to make yourself finish your plate as your anxiety wrecking thoughts have a way of deriving you of an appetite. You also had to convince yourself to not search for her at the other tables which took more strength than one would expect.
But you succeeded, and you were now sure that the only obstacle left for the day was to try and fall asleep without the thoughts of her keeping you up.
Clarisse is a force, a fierce daughter of Ares, and a cabin leader who had much better things to do then hole up at quiet small places with you.
And just because she was nice enough to mantain a good relationship with you for 4 years, does not mean that you're worth her time. Or at least that's what you tell yourself.
That night, you managed to fall asleep after an hour of recalling Harpy facts in repetition. Counting sheeps had never worked on you, so you had to find something much more active to tire out your brain.
You dreamed of Clarisse with her hair down, holding your hand and pulling you closer so she could slip a flower on your ear.
And just as she's looking down at you, moving closer to do what it seemed like to kiss you, you awoke with a jolt, swearing under your breath as if you'd just gotten jumpscared by a ghost.
Someone's palms moved to shut your lips as you're met with a girl, hovering over you in the dark. Clarisse's dark eyes were recognizable, but it sent a shot of adrenaline through your body still.
"Shh." She whispered to your face, hand still keeping your mouth shut. "I'm going to remove my hands now." She whispered again. You nod in understanding and waited for her to pry her hand away from your face.
"What are you doing here?!" You exclaimed as quiet as possible as she helped you sit up.
"I'm sneaking you out." She answers with a wink. "It's 2 in the morning." You waved your hand around at the darkness and sleeping children. "3 in the morning, and yeah, I know. That's why it's called sneaking around." She corrects you with a grin so devilish that if you hadn't known her for a long time, you'd assume she's about to turn you into a new toilet bowl or dumpster boxing victim.
You sighed loudly and glared at her despite your fast beating heart. Her hand remained on top of yours until the minute becomes more awkward and she removes it as if she just remembered that she's been holding your hand.
Without explanation,  she climbed out of your bed and tiptoes to the open cabin door. You're still sitting up and looking at her with conflicted feelings.
Only after she turns back to you, cocking her head towards the entrance, do you give into her request and softly leave the comfort of your bed and trail after her.
"Where are we going?" You asked after her as she kept walking. Instead of responding, she asks you another question back, "Can you swim?"
"We're going swimming?" You watch her shrug in return from behind her and became even more distressed.
"So, is this your idea of having fun and hanging out then?" She laughs drily and slowed down so you could catch up. You walked fast enough until you're beside her and waited for her to talk. "You sound surprised, I would've thought that after 4 years of friendship, you'd know by now that I love doing things that includes active movements."
You did know that, it's a bit hard to not notice how much working out, training and running fuels her even more.
"And why are we doing it in the middle of the night?" The walk towards the lake by the back of the forest was short, considering that your cabin is the closest to the location.
You almost tripped and fell over a stick, but Clarisse was quick to scoop you back up by the back of your shirt. "Thanks." You mumbled to her. "And you haven't answered my question."
Clarisse pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the ground without caring of your presence. You, having more moral obligations than her, twisted your face to your left when she began to pull her trousers off. "Too many people in broad daylight." She tells you.
That is a valid reason, this lake is mostly known as a hook up spot, and true to it's cause, many dating campers have been caught together here during dawn or late evenings.
You braved yourself to turn towards her again slowly and realised that she had already hopped into the water. She had a sports bra on and a boxer.
And though you yourself had a tank top and shorts on, you contemplate the idea of suicide as a better choice than having to strip in front of her.
"Are you gonna get in, or are you just gonna gawk at me from there?" You were grateful for the dark being able to hide your flushed face from her, but deep down, you knew that she probably saw it anyways because of the shining bright moonlight.
"I can't swim." You told her.
"That's fine, the water's not very deep." You ransacked your brain for reasons to decline her offer, but at the same time, a small part of you yearned to take this risk that you've been so afraid of for gods knows whatever reason.
Clarisse is there, in the water and under the moonlight. You are only a few steps away from her. And like she said, the water isn't deep, only waist length. She stares back at you with a raised brow like she's challenging you to join her.
"Turn around first." You tell her. She smirked slightly before slowly spinning to the opposite direction. "You know I've seen you naked before right?"
"What?" You choked out, aghast. "Who do you think changed your clothes for you when you first got to camp." Oh, that.
Your shoulder relaxes as you realize she's talking about the first time you met. "That's was a long time ago." You noted. She hummed im agreement. "Yeah, we've both grown since."
You told her she could turn around once you're inside the water. Forgetting about the heighy difference between you two, the water was high enough to reach your chest, trying your best not to trip underwater the way you always do on dry ground, your hand instinctively reached outnfor her shoulder.
Clarisse held your forearm tightly and drew your closer to her until you're inches away from eachother.
You breathed in sharply and felt the need to fill in the awkward silence. "So, you...like swimming, huh?"
"Yes, evidently so." She answered. "Right right, can't sit still and all that." She actually chuckled at your sarcasm, making you proud of yourself.
"You know, even before I came to camp Half Blood, I use to be a pretty active person, running track, volleyball, sometimes swimming." Your eyes widened in curiosity. "Really?" She nodded.
"The counselor told my mom that I just had so many untapped energy, which I guess is a code for anger issues." Her grip on your forearm moves higher until her palm is over your shoulder.  "She told her that it'd be best for me to find a...healthy way, to channel that energy, and for my strong competitiveness. So I joined what I could, and that's how I spent most of my free time there. Besides, I never was that good academically. So, I ought to at least be good at something, right?"
"You are good." You blurted out. Your embarrassment faded away when you saw her smile. "You think so?"
"Yeah." You assured her. Her other hand had snaked around your waist without you noticing. Only when you moved slightly do you notice her holding you softly.
"The moon is really nice tonight, isn't it?" You said, trying to diffuse the tension. You pointed your finger up to the sky at the singular white orb.
She glanced up and let out a 'huh.'
"I like it when it's bright and whole like this, the moon in all of its glory. You don't even notice the starts around it when it's glowing like that." You could stare at the moom forever, even longer than the way you've been staring at the sun.
You believed in it the way children do with their birthday candle. To you, the moon has always been a symbol of hope or comfort for your future. Your fascination for it existed from when you were a child, the way it'd follow you from behind as you gazed upon it from the back of the car seat whilst your parent drove down the road.
The way it moved above you as you walked home from school, like one of the gods themselves watching over you.
"Nothing compares to the moon." You announced aloud, watching as the clouds around it began to gather over it. "Yeah, It's beautiful." You hear Clarisse speak.
As your head snapped back to her, you found that she had already been facing you.
"I like the moon...but not as much as I like you." She whispered loud enough for your ears only. Her face leans closer to yours, your noses brushing together. "Not as much as I like to hear your voice, when you tell me about your little harpy facts-"
"Oh, I haven't told you about the harpies yet." You cut her off. "I just finished that chapter this morning actually and-"
"-and, you can tell me about it after I'm done talking." You blushed and became silent, letting her speak.
Clarisse exhaled breathily, fanning your face with the subtle warm air. "I like doing things that friends do with you, but I don't want to be your friend anymore."
"Oh."
"I want to be more than friends." She elaborated.
"Oh." Oh.
You feel a sudden tightness in your chest, from anxiety or from butterflies is undecided. "You want to be best friends?" You joked, laughing nervously.
Clarisse snorted at your joke, but she was still grinning widely. "Best friends, If that's what you want to call it."
There was a moment of understanding shared between a second of shared gazes before her lips attached themselves to yours. An urgency, approval, meaning that can't be described by words.
Whatever gentleness there was inside of her before had vanished. Clarisse kissed you like a starved woman. Her lips craved yours like it'd be the last time she'll ever know how you taste like.
Your hands clasped on her shoulder and neck for support as she embraced you tighter to her body. You let her tongue slip into your mouth, meeting your own.
And as they danced together, inhaling all there is in your lips, every secret and every confession that have died on the tip ofnyour tongues, you are sure that no heaven nor hell could tear you open to see you back together like this.
You push her back abruptly, letting fresh air fill your empty lungs. "What's wrong?" Clarisse inquired worriedly.
"Last week." You sighed out, chest still heaving as your thoughts clicked together. "You thought I had asked you on a date, that's why you were disappointed."
She winced at the reminder, and for the first time in your life, you had been lucky enough to witness a flustered Clarisse.
"I'm right." Her silence confirmed. "Oh Clarisse, why didn't you just ask me?"
Huffing loudly, she rolls her eyes in irritation. "I thought I was obvious enough. "
Thinking back on it all, it did seem pretty obvious, but gods were you oblivious. The way you intepreted it all so wrongly.
"I've liked you for so long too." You admitted to her. Her scowl was gone at that, replaced by a teasing smile. "And what are you gonna do about it?" Her mouth returned to yours, letting go of all your fears and holding on to Clarisse like she's your anchor, you close the gap between your lips, welcoming the kind of pleasure that you've never tasted before.
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etfrin · 5 months
Text
⤷❝Don't Blame Me, Love Made Me Crazy | Coriolanus Snow❞ˎˊ-
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⇢☾Warning: NSFW | Snow is his own warning, blood play , knife play, mentions of killing, somnophilia, pussy spanking, impact play (Coryo spanks your ass like twice), riding, mating press, overstimulation if you squint, squirting, dub-con if you squint, fucked up lovesick! reader, fucked up dark! Snow, predator/prey dynamics if you squint, degradation, pinv sex, unprotected sex (wrap it dumbfucks), creampie | lmk if I forgot anything
⇢☾Pairing: Ghostface! Coriolanus Snow x fem! Reader
⇢☾Summary: You're trying to outrun Ghostface, you fail and find out that he's your bestie and your love Coriolanus Snow, smut ensues despite the circumstances
⇢☾A/N: DARK CONTENT AHEAD, read this ast your own risk, do not romanticize!
Ps: i love this, depending on the response/feedback I get, I might write more Ghostface! Coryo
< masterlist > < bc: @cafekitsune > < tag list >
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‘Run, run, run’, your mind kept thinking, as the burn of pushing past the wind and all the halls made your legs go weak. You wanted to tear your ears off so you could mute all the screams that were echoing.
You didn't want to die. Fuck it. You're not gonna die.
One of the two Ghostfaces was chasing you, fast but slower than you. Something in your mind told you that they were playing with you. You were just a prey and the predator was being merciful by letting you live for the last time.
Alarms set off in your mind as you dash into an empty classroom, hoping that he will walk past it. You hide behind the door, praying to whoever is above for safety. Nobody listened.
The door to the classroom was opened and you knew it in your bones that you were doomed. That you had to fight, even if you're terrible at it. The creaking sound of the door sent shivers down your spine, your mind going haywire as heavy steps echoed into the empty.
“You can come out, baby,” he said, as he walked in without closing the door, “otherwise you won't get any kindness from me, bird.” The nicknames felt familiar to you but you pay it no mind. As he walks further into the classroom, you decide to slowly get out of your hiding spot to walk out of the door and take a run from it.
You can do it, can't you?
The answer was a no because even when you managed to take a step outside of the classroom, you were yanked back in, and thrown to the floor. The infamous Ghostface is in front of you with a shiny knife that makes your heart go wild but not in the right way. Fear and adrenaline fill your veins as you look around for any sort of weapon but to no avail.
“Don't you fucking come closer,” you snarl at them. “And what are you gonna do if I do, princess? I don't see a prince charming to protect you here,” he mocks you as he kneels, his hand playing around the with the knife in a rather enticing manner. Your eyes pinned on how he played with the knife around, your breath hitching as you could imagine it carving into your skin not to kill you but. . .
You possibly couldn't blame yourself for your thoughts. You knew you had kinks, but you never had a chance to indulge. Your exes were vanilla and you respected that, you never trusted anyone enough to indulge in your fantasies. Except for one person though by accident, he should be safe in his apartment right now.
Coryo. Coryo was safe, he wasn't aware the friend group was going to break into the academy. Coryo had to be safe. Even if you die at the hands of this stranger tonight, Coryo should be fine. He was never part of the main crew after all. His name from the elitists fell due to his wealth being nonexistent, all that existed in Snow was him and his wit. So there's no possible reason for him to be targeted. Coriolanus was safe.
“Cat caught your tongue, doll?” The masked man taunts you, the voice modulator, his knife inching towards your cheek, the blunt side pressing onto your skin. “Fuck off,” you spit out, trying to crawl away from him but you had no strength left. No fight left in you. Your legs hurt, you can't think, and the rest of your friends are fighting or worse dead.
Tears begin to fill your eyes as you begin to think about them. Last you saw Sajanus, he was getting stabbed, Lucy had run, and Tigris… She was one of the killers, you couldn't wrap your head around that. You looked at Ghostface, a pathetic part of wanting to plead for your life but your ego won out. You spit onto their mask. “Fuck you!” you yelled at them.
A growl sounding feral even through the voice modulator could be heard. Ghostface grabs your jaw with his free hand, “You should know better than to do that, pet,” he smirks. He flipped the knife, the sharp end now digging into your skin, cutting up the layer of the cheek so beads of blood would drag themselves onto the knife.
A small whine left you, but it wasn't out of pain. Your body was readily confusing danger with your desires and there's nothing your mind could do about it. Ghostface lets out a chuckle, “Freaky bitch.” His hand was still grabbing your jaw, your legs pushed down by the weight of his body, there was no way for you to fight (you didn't want to) as he used his knife to pop the buttons of your shirt one by one. Your skin, every inch of your torso and chest was exposed to him.
This should have filled ice in your veins, but fire burned instead, you should have yelled at him to stop, plead, anything instead you tried to nip the urge of rubbing your thighs together. Fuck, this turned you on to no end. The thrill. The danger. You were so tired of being good. So what if you end up dead, at least you'll get a good fuck out of this.
His knife begins to cut fine lines onto your skin, near your bra, dragging along the underside of your clothed breast. Red begins to paint across your skin. “Fuck,” you whispered when the knife dug too deeply near your left hip, a long cut that felt like he was carving out a letter. You take multiple deep breaths, trying to keep the tears at the edge. “Stop!” you whispered, “Just kill me, stop.” The murderer didn't reply.
Something felt eerily familiar about him, the way something was carved onto your skin. You sit up a bit, and he doesn't stop you and your eyes fall to the cut he had finished on your hip. A ‘C’. No, no, no, no.
“Coryo,” you groan, in pain and shock. Tigris being one of the killers, you suppose it made sense. But what assured you was the fact Snow was always marking you up, a finger tracing the letters of his name onto your hand, or the tip of a pen inking you with his initials onto your skin. This time he did it with a knife, something so permanent. It was such a Coryo thing to do.
A soft distorted laugh comes out through the mask before his hand lifts it. Coriolanus Snow with his manic blue eyes and a feral grin, his blonde locks disheveled for once greeted you. “You're going to enjoy this, doll,”
“You- I-” You couldn't form a single thought, how could you? Your Coryo (both of you were nothing, both of you were something. So close to being with each other forever but too afraid to jump that hill) was a murderer, he was going to kill you. A boy whom you watched for years grow up to be a man despite the circumstances, whom you had shared your first kiss with and who was your first love and the one who got away because of your cowardice was going to kill you. You were going to die by his hands. Poets would make it seem romantic, dying at the hands of your love seems like a mercy.
It wasn't.
Anybody but him, you didn't want your love to be tainted with this. You didn't want your blood to be on his hands, not on your Snow. “Anyone but you,” you whispered, “Coryo, no!” You flinch away when he leans in and a glare forms in his eyes. “I won't hurt you, doll. You're one of the good ones. You're my pet,” he whispered, his knife pressing onto the bleeding wound of your skin. “I have trained you so well after all,” he smirks.
“What- what do you mean?” You gasp out, your mind on the edge of your sanity. “You aren't afraid, you aren't screaming, you aren't crying and whining like a bitch like those other motherfuckers, are you?” He grins, “It's because your body knows that I won't hurt you. I have trained you to feel safe around me. I am your savior, doll.” He leans in closer, his hot breath hitting your lips with his every word, “You enjoyed the run. You enjoyed the chase. You don't care about dying, you want to be fucked. You didn't know it was me but I bet your slutty cunt is soaking through those panties anyway."
“Am I lying?” He whispered, “Tell me it's a lie, tell me you aren't wet, that you weren't enjoying this and I'll leave.” You couldn't bring yourself to lie, not when you were lost in those eyes. Is this why people say love ends you? It was a weapon that Coryo knew he held, an invisible dragger against your throat. “I-” You wanted to lie, you wanted too, you swear.
Instead, you close the pathetic excuse of a gap between his lips and yours. Your hands grab at his robe, pulling him in as you kiss feverishly. Like he was the air itself, you couldn't breathe, not when both your lips and your tongues meet. The moan you let out of the contact made you realize you had nothing left to yourself. Your mind, your soul, and your marked body belonged to him. The price for falling for the devil. A price you gladly paid.
He breaks the kiss with a gasp, his face in a boyish grin you have seen from childhood. “I knew it. You're mine, dove. Mine.” With that he licks a strip of nearly dried blood from your cheek, dragging his tongue onto your cut and letting out a moan from the taste of iron onto his tongue. Your taste. You whimper as he continues to lav at the blood covering your face, cleaning you up like a dog would.
His cold hands find their way to your back, playing with your bra clasp before finally freeing your breasts from their confines. He pulls back, throwing the knife far away from you both (did it matter? He would win in a fight anyway). His palms knead your breasts, as his needy lips keep pressing against yours.
“Is this real?” He asked, breathless. His fingers roll your nipples until they harden under his touch. You moan in response as your nipples keep getting teased, a sharp gasp leaves as he pinches the nipples hard. “Real or not real?”
“Real,” you whimper, “Real. Real. Real. Real. Coryo, I love you!” He lets out a growl as he hears your confession, his attention towards your breasts getting rougher as he drags his tongue across the canvas of your skin, his teeth marking you up wherever they pleased.
“Of course, you do, baby. I made it so,” he whispered, when his mouth meets your taut nipple, his lips wrapping themselves around the bud to suck as one of his hands was on your back and his opposite hand giving your breast rougher attention. Meanwhile, your hands had found their way into his robes, sliding them off so his shirt and his pants were in view. Your fingers immediately begin to unbutton his shirt to the best of their abilities, your mind not sure whether to focus on the task or the delicious heat of his mouth around your sensitive nub.
Coryo deciding to have mercy (he was sick of your uncoordinated hands, how pathetic you were) took it upon himself to undress while being on task. His lips left to find a home in the cuts he made all over his chest, the small cuts stinging from his licks. But the pain was delicious, could it be considered pain at all with how much you loved it? You suppose not. This was a pleasure, all pleasure given to you by a monster.
His toned muscles came into your view, your hands flying to his shoulder, nails digging into his shoulders causing him to hiss, he was down to your hips now. Near your mark, his initial carved so beautifully against your skin. He had to admire it, he had no choice but to.
“Such a pretty doll. My canvas, I can't wait to have you all to myself, am gonna mark you so nice,” his eyes meet yours. “You have no choice but to let me.”
He pressed a kiss to the deep cut, the blood from it made a mess on the floor. You suspected the only reason you were conscious was because of adrenaline alone. His lips are red with your blood pressed onto your lips, making you taste yourself. You moan, letting yourself be familiarized with the taste for the future.
Your hands find solace in his blonde locks as his hands unbutton your pants. “Let's see how slutty my pet is,” he whispered. He slides off your pants and underwear in one go, his fingers pressing into your heat, gathering the arousal onto his fingertips. He shakes his head, looking displeased (he was more than pleased inside, don't worry), “What a whore.” He pulls his fingers back and strings of your arousal follow. Then smack, smack, smack. Three slaps were delivered to your pussy making you jolt and moan wantonly. Your eyes widen and your cunt begins to ache, reddening from his actions, your clit puffing up and twitching, needing more.
“Please,” you plead, your voice weak, your vision blurry, you need to feel him inside before you black out. “Please, please, Coryo, baby,” you begin to babble, your mind a mess. You feel a kiss on your forehead. “Let go, dove,” he whispered, “I'm gonna keep you safe.”
You wanted to laugh at his words. His actions were the opposite of safe. It was anything but. However, your body had relaxed in his hold, your mind blanking out.
Your mind comes back to reality after hours. You open your eyes to meet pitch black, your body not on the hard cold floor of the academy classroom but on something soft. A bed. “Coryo,” you called, your voice filled with fear.
“Coryo,” you whispered again, turning your body to meet with another warm body. Coryo.
You let out a sigh of relief, and the pain of the incident now settled into your bones, like a distant buzz. You nuzzle into Coriolanus' chest, one of your arms around him. You realize both of you were naked. Completely utterly bare, skin on skin. Your breath hitches, feeling the heat coursing through your body again as you feel his soft cock onto your thigh, so fucking close to your cunt.
You bite your lip in thought, you want to know what happened after you lost consciousness. Were all your friends dead? Did they escape? Did they find out? You also wanted his cock, impatient because you waited for years, and despite the circumstances you knew when to seize opportunities.
Coryo was a heavy sleeper, it was like he slept with the weight of everything on his shoulder. Weight of his world at least. Plus he would like a treat, right? A man as insane as he is, he wouldn't mind your actions even if it solidifies his opinion of you being an whore for him.
Your fingers trace his chest, your palm feeling his heartbeat, your heavy breaths and his quiet ones fill the room. You take your palm and lick it, lubricating it before you grip his length. Your strokes were hesitant, your mind afraid that he would break up and he would be mad. But you feel his cock harden and you love it. You fucking love it. Your pussy gets wet as time goes by and his cock completely hardens.
You take his cockhead and slowly begin to slide it against your pussy lips. A soft moan escapes you as the tip nudges your sensitive clit. Your slick was coated all over his length as you kept grinding against his cock. And soon enough after a particular nudge, his cockhead gets caught in your entrance. It could have easily been pushed away and you could have continued with your actions. But you are pathetically needy and this was not enough.
A whimper escapes your lips as you begin to guide your hips forward to let the cock inside your cunt, stretching out your walls perfectly. You let out a gasp when he was fully in. His cock twitching inside of you. Now was the hard part, fucking yourself onto his cock without him waking up. Impossible but you didn't care at the moment.
You slowly started to roll your hips, taking his length deep inside of you, your walls squeezing around him. You let out soft moans, trying your best to control the animalistic need to ride his cock. Time passes and this continues, the ache of your cunt not fading but getting worse and worse with the need to cum. The pace wasn't enough, no matter how many ways you rubbed your clit raw wasn't enough.
Deciding to play with the devil, you pushed Coryo's sleeping body onto his back, your pussy holding onto his cock as you straddle him. The angle made it so his cockhead kissed your g-spot making you gasp as stars flood your vision, but it didn't trigger your orgasm, your walls oversensitive but throbbing to cum, cum, cum.
You wanted to wake up Snow, wanted him to fuck you, use you, and love you. But you decided against it as you begin to grind your hips, your swollen clit pressing onto his groomed pubic hair, the sensation making you bite your lower lip to stop a loud moan that would surely wake him up.
You couldn't keep up with this long, you wanted to cum, wanted to be filled with his cum as well. You begin to go faster, letting all sense of control out of the window as you slam down his cock again and again, letting his tip nearly breach your cervix.
Smack.
The sound of his hand meeting the meat of your ass freezes you. The area victim of his hit was reddening. “Why did you stop?” He voices, his tone filled with lust “Ride me, bitch. How needy were you that you couldn't wait, huh? Disgusting, truly. I need to train you better, pet.”
An apology remains to be said as his hand slaps your ass again. “Fuck yourself on me, doll,” he grunts, his tone reeking of impatiently. “Co-coryo,” you whine, your hips finding their rhythm but this time with Coriolanus thrusting upwards into your cunt, disrupting your pace. But neither of you cared, both of your actions borderlining to those of mating animals under a full moon.
His hands hold you down, gripping your hips tightly with his fingers printing onto your skin. It puts pressure on your previous wound, making you cry out and tighten your pussy around him reflexively. You wonder if your wound began to bleed again because the smell of blood began to stink in the air along with the distinct smell of sex.
Your thoughts were proven correct as one of his hands left your hip in favor of licking his palm on which your wound had bled. His thrusts turn frantic as the taste of iron blooms onto his tongue. “Fuck, fuck, Coryo!” You begin to moan, louder and louder as heat begins to coil up on your lower tummy. Your gummy walls get slicker and slicker as your sensitive nerves go overdrive with his thrusts.
He lets out a groan, and in a flash, you are on your back onto the mattress, pressed into it as his mouth latches onto your jaw. His hips rutted into you without a care. “You taste so fucking delicious, I bet your cunt tastes wonderous too, princess,” he moans as his teeth begin to bite into the flesh of your neck, his erratic pace bringing you closer and closer to the edge.
Your hands find themselves on his back, your nails scratching his skin and forming red lines which sting but he loves it so much. So fucking much. His hands pushed your legs up, pressing your knees onto your chest. He has you folded onto a mating press position. His cock reaching impossible depths inside of you.
A particular thrust of his made his cock fuck into your cervix, it makes you scream from the pleasure and pain of all, your body finally letting go. Your cunt spasming, milking his cock for what it's worth as clear liquid squirted out of you, covering Coryo who merely groans from it all.
He fucks you through your orgasm, his cock hitting all the right angles and as your pussy tightens around his cock just right. He cums, deep and nice into your womb. He continues to roll his hips into you, his pace slowing down as he fucks his hot, thick cum into you.
He lets out a shuddering breath as he pulls out and lays beside you. Both of catching your breaths. He breaks the silence first.
“I am going to tell you everything, doll but let me clean up the wound first.”
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neil-gaiman · 9 months
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Hi Neil,
I hope this doesn't get buried in the ask box, but if it does, I'll still be glad I sent this, just to know this little lengthy slice of complement and thanks existed in your inbox is enough. I apologize for the length, I am pretty sure the grammar is in tatters...and probably just the general awkwardness in advance.
Frist of all, congratulations for Good Omens Season2, it's a roaring success even here in this...I don't know, bottomless pit? I myself and some others fondly call it the PRC. The show didn't made pass the firewall officially, neither was Prime Video. People still managed to watch it eventually by VPNs, shared accounts and when times are desperate...sorry, piracy. Chinese fans, including myself, using every tool in the shed to try to fool Amazon™ and our goverment, just to watch this on Prime and try to help to manifest S3, is one hell of an experience. This kind of experience is pathetic, ridiculous....and somehow hilarious in a dark, gallows humor way, almost like some bad spy comedy, I just have to share it. Worth all the trouble by the way, the reward at the end of the back channel is...well, some divine comedy to say the very least. All in all, it's a brilliant show and a solid job well-done.
Then some of my personal gratitude. They say good art resonates with your soul, I now know this is just as true as matter and gravity. Since I know Good Omens certainly resonated with mine. I'll redact the typical "depression and anxiety reduced me to a husk, a shadow of my former self" story and get to the result for brevity's sake. I can't write anything meaningful while I know I took joy in writing, I can't finish reading anything longer than a brochure while I know I was such a bookworm in the past. Then I was compelled to get up in the middle of the night, wrote a full 5000 character long analysis after marathoned S2, and then write even more analyses in both Chinese and English. I picked up American Gods because I know I need more Neil Gaiman in my life and then impressed by myself for actually finishes it the second time 5 years later. I didn't know how exactly that happened through one watch of a TV show, but I know I am changed for the better. I grasped life again, and can start living again, somehow. The resonation just keeps on giving.
This is a quiet, gentle and romantic story, it is soothing, accepting, filled to the brim with love and kindness, and it makes me feel safe and accepted and loved in a way I never felt before. I thank you for it, and hope thart I may have the privlige to witness more of this miracle. Thank you Neil, Sir Terry Pratchett and the team for this miraculous book and this miraculous show.
谢谢。(I just had to say thanks with my mother tongue, it feels more earnest this way)
Thank you so much! I'm impressed by everything you and your countryfolk have gone through to watch it as legitimately as you could.
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marvelandponder · 1 year
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one amazing thing about the Owl House finale is that it finally contextualized for me one of the central metaphors of the show. Spoilers for the series finale Watching and Dreaming ahead.
we good? no one spoiling themselves? beauty
for a long time now, I thought we had a pretty standard coming-of-age metaphor dichotomized by the show's central antagonists. you've got your protestant witch hunter Belos who introduces a maturity and ugliness to Luz's narrative; he clearly represents a particular, restricting form of adulthood, and just when Belos becomes his most threatening, boom, enter the Collector, Luz's dangerously naïve inner child to ruin all her development on the Boiling Isles. Seems simple enough
what I didn't anticipate was just how specific and personal their roles in the story actually are to Luz once you have the full context from the series finale
look again
this story - this whole series - is about the grief that a neurodivergent kid experienced at a young age, introducing the cruelty of loss and adulthood before she was ready to handle it. and, how to reclaim a more whole understanding of herself as she rebuilds her life with people who get her
Belos is designed to infect the titan carcass like a disease. a cancer. it's super goddamn significant that the titan is King's dad (King, who became Luz's younger brother). they set up Belos not just to be another fascist kids' cartoon villain (although yeah, he do be doing some of that), but to specifically become a force that oppressed the weirdness from the one place that understood Luz. the Iles. the dad. And by the end of the story, Belos's goopy body-horror isn't just for show, he's just like the cancer or other terminal disease that took Luz's dad from her
he's the thing Luz hasn't processed in season 1 that comes in at the end like a warning. he's the threat that forces Luz to grapple with her own humanity, feeling somehow (often completely unjustifiably) harmful to those around her, through the grief she doesn't want to be a burden or the weirdness (neurodivergence) others don't understand. he's the force that says there is something wrong with you, Luz, give in to your grief, this is what you can't face. this is the lie you've been telling to those closest to you: that you're okay
then you have the Collector. (notable that he's a collector, and we see Luz's mom and dad had quite the collection of nerdy memorabilia)
the Collector is the child too young to understand death. Too young to understand consequences, or why their playmates don't feel like playing anymore with someone so weird and maybe a bit too involved in their own world. The Collector is Luz's inner child, that kid we see right before the "worst week ever" — the one who didn't and couldn't understand what was about to happen even as it was going down. unapologetically weird, a bit destructive and short-sighted, but wholly colourful, wholly themselves. that's why the Collector wants to live out Luz's adventures, but without all the depth. just the fun escapist fantasy
but don't think I forgot the internal conflict! :D
because Camila's role also gets an added depth too: Camila was framed at the outset of the series as someone who loved Luz, but wanted her to fit inside a box that she just didn't. later, Luz completely misconstrued her mom's breakdown when she learned that Luz chose to run away. as many people have pointed out by now, Luz misremembers the actual dialogue that Camila says: Camila only wanted her daughter safe, not to lose her. Luz meanwhile felt like she had to choose to destroy this part of herself, or give up her connection with her mom altogether
but we know now Camila actually deeply relates to Luz. she may not understand Luz's fascination with horrific things like on the boiling isles (very akin to a kid getting more grim hobbies in the wake of a death, like Luz's taxidermy), but she loves Luz for who she is. all of her. she never wanted Luz to change
Luz was the one framing the central conflict of the show as go back to her mom or stay in the boiling isles. Luz was the one who felt like she had to punish herself by rejecting the one place where she felt like herself. once Camila realizes what's been going on, and how deeply connected it is to the loss of Luz's dad, she knows Luz is trying to make a "very bad choice for herself." And she won't let that happen (what a great mom!!)
But Luz does have one real choice ahead of her
because of the inner child who once again has to confront death (this time, Luz's own), Luz is able to connect with a father figure, the titan, the one place she feels understood. in the form of a power-up that makes her into a fantasy witch straight out of the Good Witch Azura, the one place she got joy after that huge loss, the titan gives her the strength to face the cancer—a force draining everything good in her life from her and making her question she deserves it in the first place—but only if she can choose herself
and that means choosing happiness, choosing found family, choosing love and friendship and self-discovery in the place she feels most at home! every bond she's forged, everything she's worked for, it all comes down to choosing to face grief and move on in life with weirdos who stick together.
hoot hoot, that's some good metaphor
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suiana · 7 months
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your boyfriend has been acting weird lately (various yandere characters x gn reader) (ANGSTOBER DAY 2)
"babe are you-"
"can you quit talking? seriously, you're so damn annoying."
"...i only wanted to ask whether you were hungry..."
you stare at your boyfriend, lips pursed as he continues to type away on his phone. he's been like this for three weeks now. getting mad at you for no reason, cursing at you... did you do something wrong?
all you ever wanted was to be a good significant other and he's acting like he's on his period or something! jesus, can't he be a little bit more mature too?! picking fights with you for no reason, making a big fuss over nothing... and not even telling you why?!
...
you know what?
you had it with him.
"hey, what's your problem huh?! why are you so edgy nowadays huh? did i do something wrong?!"
your once loving boyfriend stares at you, eyes and mouth wide at your sudden outburst. he takes a moment to compose himself, eyebrows furrowing the second he thinks things through.
"god you're so damn stupid. I've been repeatedly telling you, haven't i? i hate you. what can't you understand?! this is why I'm always getting mad, damnit!"
you scoff at him, arms folded in front of your chest as you try to keep your cool... only for your anger to get the better of you, resulting in a screaming festival between you and your boyfriend.
"hate me? you can't expect me to believe that. not when you were literally obsessed with me up till three weeks ago?!"
"i-"
"you used to threaten people just for looking at me! you even tried to kill someone because they asked for my number! and now you want me to believe that you hate me? stop with your bullshit."
".. actually-"
"oh. are you seeing someone else? is that what this is? you're trying to make me break up with you, is that it?"
"n-... you know what? yeah, yeah it is. i want to break up with you. I've found someone else that i love more than you."
your boyfriend states, eyes dead as he stares straight at you. he breathes calmly, as if he weren't affected by this at all. meanwhile, your heart felt as though it had shattered into many tiny pieces. tears fell from your eyes, unable to be held back any longer as you broke down, falling to your knees as the male just stares at you stoicly.
"let's never see each other again."
he mumbles, turning on his heel, swiftly leaving you alone to wallow in your sadness in the once lively apartment. shit... you hadn't expected things to end like this.
"he's a fucking jerk..."
you think through your tears, vision blurry as you clutch your chest. you really loved him and he just?? left?? how could he be so heartless?
if he didn't love you he could've just said something about it. he didn't have to be so mean and hurt your feelings before finally bringing up another person! god damnit, why did you have to fall for such a person?!
you cried, wailing as you cursed your now ex-boyfriend.
"fuck! i hate you! i hate you so much! i hope i never see you again! just disappear from my life! you just left me to die here! stupid ex-boyfriend! i hate giving you my love!"
what you didn't know however, was that your 'heartless' boyfriend had stood outside your door, frowning at your every word, regretting everything he had done up until that moment. because he had loved you too. truly.
he loved you so damn much that he wanted to tear out his hair every single time he was mean to you. he wanted to tell you that he didn't mean any single one of those hurtful words. he wanted to cry and beg for your forgiveness every single time he did anything hurtful to you.
but it was for your own good. it was to keep you safe. and if he needed to hurt you to keep you safe, he'd do it. because he loved you too much to see someone else hurt you.
and being with him meant that there was always a risk of you getting hurt. so how could he allow that to happen when it could be prevented? how could he let his selfish feelings get in the way when you were such a precious little thing? sure, he loves you and he'll do anything in his power to ensure your safety but what if he can't protect you one day?
what if one day you just... get used against him? he's a dangerous man and has a lot of enemies. surely they'll find out that you're his weakness. of course he has gotten rid of anyone who might harm you now but who's to say that there won't be more in the future?
which is why he has to severe all ties with you now. he can't risk it. because he may be strong, but he may not be strong enough for whoever may come in the future. that's why he's been doing what he's been doing-making you hate him so that it hurts less when he decides that it's time to leave. he assumes that it's working wonderfully, after all you've never once noticed his puffy eyes in the morning.
"at least... they'll be safe now."
and disappear he will, for he has too many regrets welling up in the depths of his soul from what he did to you. he'll make sure to never come across you again, instead lurking in your shadow, observing you from afar.
a star like you need not be dirtied by his presence anymore.
dazai osamu, akutagawa ryunosuke, megumi fushiguro, blade, scaramouche/wanderer, your faves<3
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bet-on-me-13 · 4 months
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Ellie wasn't born a Halfa
So! Jason just found something weird. Or rather. Someone.
A little girl, no more than 6 or 7, crying behind a dumpster in an alleyway. Now, as unfortunate as it is, this isn't that strange a sight in Gotham. Kids are always running away from home, getting lost, being left homeless after a mugging gone wrong, but this time was different.
Because the kid was glowing.
When he found her hiding behind the Dumpster, a medical gown being the only thing she had to protect herself from thr frigid Gotham Winter, he didn't hesitate to give her his Jacket and take her to his nearest safe house.
(Actually it took a little while to convince her to accept the Jacket, and even longer to get her to agree to being taken to his safe house, but they got there in the end.)
When he had finally gotten her set up in a side room of the Warehouse, with the most comfortable bed and thickest Blankets he could find, he tried asking what had happened.
"Daddy lied." She said. "He said he loved me, but then he made another kid and said he didn't care about me."
And, once again, it was unfortunately not that uncommon to see runaway kids from neglectful homes, but the way she said it raised some flags in his head.
"...and, how did you end up in Gotham?"
"I ran. He said I was a spare, and that scared me."
Well, that was even more horrible than he had anticipated. What kind of monster tells their kid that they're a spare?!
"And, I'm sorry if this is a touchy subject but why are you glowing?"
She just buried her face in the Blankets and shook her head.
"Alright then, that's fine. You can tell me when you're ready, or even not tell me at all, I'll accept either or".
For the next few weeks, Jason juggled running his newly created criminal empire and raking care of the kid. He still hadn't gotten a name out of her, but she said to call her "Dp" instead. 'It's the best I'm gonna get', he thought.
It was only after a few more weeks, right before he was about to begin his Plan of confronting Bruce about the Joker still being alive, that she approached him and agreed to tell him everything. He was actually really glad that she finally seemed to trust him enough to tell him.
"Okay Dp, you can start wherever you want."
"...well, I guess I should start with my name..." She started, "...or rather, my lack of one..."
"What?" Asked Jason in a soft voice.
"I, I don't have a name." She explained, "Daddy never gave me one. He just called me DP-2."
"...what do you mean by two?" Asked Jason.
"It-It's my Experiment Number." She said, stuttering a little, "I'm not a normal person, I'm a Clone. I was made to be daddy's perfect child, but I was just the test run. He said that I wasn't needed after he made DP-3, and that all I was good for was spare parts."
Jason felt his throat dry up. Dp was a Clone? Of who? Who made her? What right did that guy have to reject her?! Who in their right mind would make a Clone and then reject the Clone?! How dare he!
The Pits perked up
He felt the Pits rising a little, but managed to push them down. Dp needed support, not the Pits.
"It's Okay kid." He said, holding her had reassuringly. "It's perfectly okay to be different. I accept you as you are, and I'm sure as hell not gonna abandon you that easily. Or, ever really. You're stuck with me, whether you like it or not."
She giggled, and hugged him. A thoughtful look crossed her face, and she pulled away.
"There is one other thing...you know how I glow sometimes?" She asked.
The Pits felt a sense of dread
Jason felt like he wasn't going to like this. "Yeah?"
"Well, when I said I was meant to be a Clone, I never mentioned who of." She explained slowly. "He's a kid named Danny, and when he was 14, he had an accident where he died and came back as a Half Undead."
No...
Jason really wasn't liking where this was going.
"When Da-Vlad tried to make me, he realized that those powers couldn't be cloned..." She paused here, seemingly gathering the courage to continue. "...they needed to be added afterwards."
NO.
He didn't. He had better not have, for his own Fucking Sake, he had better not have done what Jason thinks he did.
"So one day, he took he down to the Lab, and he put me in a big machine." He voice broke a little. "He locked me in there, and then I think...that I died..."
...
For once, Jason felt completely in tune with the Pits. He was going to Kill that guy.
...
Sorry if this feels a little rushed, I kept going back to add or change parts of it.
Basically, Vlad realized that you can't Clone a Halfa. So, he made a workaround. He just stuck his first Viable Clone into a Portal, and let the machine Kill her. When he realized that it worked, he knew he had no use for Ellie anymore aside from spare parts.
And he told her as much, Vlad is a fucking asshole.
Ellie, of course, got scared and ran away. She ended up in Gotham, and was adopted by Jason right at the start of his Criminal Career.
When Jason finally hears about the rest of his kids' Backstory, he decides that Batman can wait his turn. He needs to go Kill that Vlad Bastard.
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