#No I don't know how I managed either

[egophiliac]

Serious question.

Do you think we’ll see the parents/family of each of the guys???

Like, We’ve been TEASED with Ace’s brother, that I’m starting to think it’s just a reference to that Alice in Wonderland park character in Japan and nothing else….

Jack’s family, Ruggie’s grandma, Falena, Maleficia, Ms.Rosehearts, Just now Vil’s dad is in the picture which I am really happy but now I’m wondering about his mom, and so Deuce’s mom.

I mean, some HAVE a silhouette!! It could mean they do have a design in the making/ready to show. They could’ve shown us Falena in the Tamashina (hope I said that correctly) event, but didn’t (prolly to make Leona not so σ(▼□▼メ) and it’s understandable)

Anyhow, any idea/headcannon about this? Who do you want to see first?

I'm wondering if everyone might eventually get a travel event? like they've now introduced with Vil's that it doesn't have to be specifically hometowns, so that opens things up a lot! (especially if they have to figure out how to do three separate Coral Sea visits) (how would that even work otherwise)

but yeah, I hope everyone gets a chance! there's a lot of backstory characters I would LOVE to meet. :D :D :D though I do think some of them don't really suit the more light-hearted tone of the events (pretty sure you're right about that being why Falena wasn't in Tamashina-Mina, that would've just been. too much for Leona.) so like...we're probably not ever going to meet the Rosehearts. or Maleficia (although I maintain that this would be THE funniest possible way to introduce her outside of the main story, and actually I would love this a lot, can we please Twst) (I need to see her to put Malleus in a froofy little outfit and tell him what a handsome boy he is). but they've sprung surprises like Kifaji on us, and honestly anyone who shows up and tells embarrassing stories about characters' childhoods is good in my book!

characters off the top of my head who I most want to meet: literally any of the Zigvolts, Azul's mom, Ace's brother, Che'nya's grandfather (<- I think he would be a good one for Riddle) (please just any non-terrible adult in his life), any member of Rook's family because I need to see how they managed to produce him, and...really just whoever they can come up with for Silver.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #tapis rouge #tamashina mina #i think it's just those two #(i am very very sorry about how long it took to reply to this) #but yeah i don't know if everyone is actually doable! i just want to ~believe~ #though silver would also have one of the zigvolts honestly #(they are the only reason lilia managed to actually raise him without silver like. falling through a manhole looney tunes style.) #so let's say he gets sebek's mom and sebek gets his dad. just because it would make sebek VERY annoyed. #god i want to meet azul's mom though. everything we know about her makes her sound AMAZING #i want her to feed me lunch and teach me how to take no shit #ANYWAY i do also wonder about vil's mom... #i had been thinking we might learn something about her during tapis rouge. but nope! not a mention. #i guess we did establish that vil either went with eric or was cared for by the house staff when he was traveling #so i dunno! it doesn't necessarily mean anything she might just be a busy lady doing busy things #i just wonder!

[meirimerens]

i'm scared...... hold my hand.

#afraid. #you see how small that is. i'm never managing all the details my dumbass packed into the digital images #genuinely think i'll offer those as handmade prints if i mean WHEN i succeed & as like printed prints. you know what i mea #drypoint etching on polyvinyl cos i don't got that copper or zinc money. don't have the right press either so yolo

[cerise-on-top]

Hii love bug!! I’m backkkkk😝 I was wondering if you could do how farah and valeria would comfort you on your period since I’m currently pmsing I’m not sure if you do these type of requests because I know you write for specifically gender neutral but I’m not sure so feel free to decline!

Hey there! Welcome back! Don't worry too much about periods, they're gender neutral as well! Some men get them, some women get them, some non-binary people get them! Besides, I do write gendered reader if I can see any point in reader having a gender! Usually a request works perfectly fine without reader having a gender, though, so I default to gender-neutral readers, so anyone can read my writing!

Valeria and Farah Comforting Their S/O on Their Period

Valeria: She knows the feeling of getting PMS. Hers are, by no means as bad as they could be, she rarely ever gets any cramps that are bad enough for her to feel the need to vomit. In fact, she rarely ever gets cramps at all, she really lucked out on that one. Even all her other symptoms are mild in comparison. However, she’s more than willing to help you out if you need it. While Valeria may not be the warmest person out there, she’ll put her hand on your lower stomach to warm it up a bit if you get mild to medium cramps. If it’s any worse than that, then she’ll either get a bottle and fill it with hot water, or, if she can find it, she’ll get the hot water bottle, fill that one up with hot water and hand it to you. However, if you need anything else, she’ll also grab it for you, be it something sweet to get your mind off things or some meds to help you manage your symptoms. However, she will lightly snicker and poke fun at you for looking like you’re about to die. She’s well aware she can’t talk since the worst she gets are breast pains, but that won’t stop her from doing so anyway. Although she may hate the idea of being someone’s servant, she’ll be your “maid” for the duration of which you’re not doing too well. Makes you tea, cleans your home, gets the groceries for you. Valeria may not show it openly, but she would be concerned for you when you’re shaking in pain, she won’t even mock you ever so gently while it looks like you’re about to die. Will gently rub your back and hope it helps you somehow. She can get you any amount of pain meds, though, just give her the word. 

Farah: Her PMS aren’t as bad either. While she does get cramps, they’re not nearly as bad as they are for most other people. In an hour, two at most, they’re gone. Plus she can still move around as if nothing is happening while she does have cramps. Farah had to learn to live with the discomfort on the battlefield so that it doesn’t get in the way of her victory. A lot of lives are on the line, after all. She probably knows you’re about to get your period soon enough before you do, though. She doesn’t track it, she’s just very observant and makes the right preparations that are needed for you to be as comfortable as you could possibly be under such circumstances. Makes you your favorite food, puts on your favorite music, hell, if you want her to, she’ll even give you a massage so you can relax a bit into her touch and feel a bit better. It’s a painful time for you, but she’ll make sure you’re thoroughly comforted throughout it all. If she has the time, then she’ll cuddle you from behind and put her hand on your lower abdomen so she can warm you right up and possibly help you. If you want her to talk, that’s great, because she will. However, if hearing her voice annoys you, then she’ll just go quiet for a few moments. If she needs to go out to grab some groceries, then she’ll leave you with a heating pad so you’re sufficiently warm, even when you’re shaking as if you’re freezing. While she doesn’t have easy access to them, she, too will get you something for your PMS, some meds. However, if you wanna make the symptoms a bit better so that you don’t throw up as easily, she might get you birth control pills as well. As long as they’re compatible with your meds, if you take any. Will be more gentle with you than usual and make sure to get all the chores done that need doing so that you can rest up for the time being.

#cod #cod x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #farah karim #farah karim x reader #I haven't had my period in months because of my meds. haven't had any PMS either because of them. life is good #I don't even remember most of the symptoms I got because they were always unpredictable and changing. glad that's over now #I've been a lot happier ever since I stopped getting my period #I'm sure most people would trade their periods for a chicken sandwich. I know I would have back in the day #anyway I don't know how to comfort someone on their period because my PMS were never as severe #I never had to do any work to get them to go away or become milder. I barely got any cramps and even those were manageable #so sorry if this is bad I tried

[clotpolesonly]

the fact that Declan has a motorcycle helmet in his dorm room but we never get to see him actually own or ride a motorcycle is a criminal offense

#i don't know HOW i managed to overlook that detail in the 3 or 4 times i've read Dream Thieves #fucking motorcycle helmet i mean my GOD is it his? is it a hookup's?? #does he have a secret motorcycle or does he have a secret biker boyfriend??? #those are the only options #either way i'm compelled #Declan Lynch #TRC #tags by me

[stlangels]

I am shaking with fucking rage listening to this state of the union i think maybe two other faces have made me instantly get this angry.

I am not your "fellow American." I refuse to be American if this is what it means to be American. I am human before I am an American.

I refuse to die before I see a free Palestine. I will see a free Palestine in my lifetime. I refuse to die before I can see a free world. I will see everyone free in my lifetime because I refuse to die without seeing it. It's probably impossible but I don't care because I have to see it. I'm sick of seeing anything else.

#I cannot accept this place as it is bit I do love this place. I love the lands the people and the places I lived in and have seen. I want th #This is the first election I vote in and its the only one I've been around for that I couldn't even beg to predict. And either outcome is e #the same kind of evil we've been for over a hundred years. The evil place I was born into. #I haven't had faith in America since 2020 #when the illusion snapped. But as every year comes and goes I manage to lose even more faith in this place that I've hated for 3years and 9 #I have to live to see a free world. I have to see it with my own two eyes. I have to see people free from fear. I don't know how to live wi #and your freedom #and our freedom #and their freedom. I want to see a world where children are happy. I want to see the world I keep dreaming about #where everyone is taken care of. #grahambles

[pastafossa]

*heavy breathing* I decided to try to find a workaround for the long covid brain fog tonight.

Aka a new pot pot strain a friend recced to see if it would help me out with this.

It worked.

Do you know how well?

I just came up from a fucking five hour writing spree.

I'd planned to edit TRT's new chapter. And I did for a bit. But it wasn't enough. I had that itch, one that had been rattling around under my skin for months.

I needed to CREATE.

I NEEDED TO WRITE.

So I turned my eyes to the Raven fic's final chapter, where I'd been slowly working on adding the new scenes I wanted and redoing a few to match the new ones.

I didn't just enter the writing zone. I blew that fucking door off its hinges. I saw the scenes in my mind's eye, and I typed the words that came, and even when the words didn't show up, I waved it off, slapped in a placeholder, and blew past it. My hyperfocus latched on like a gator and did fifty thousand death rolls.

I wrote FOUR. POINT. EIGHT. THOUSAND. WORDS.

IN FIVE HOURS.

I may have forgotten to drink or eat anything so that's familiar too

This proves it. Getting TRT's new chapter written, if not edited, proved the words were still there in my head. And THIS proves I can still enter that miracle zone that makes everything worth it oh god i missed the zone. As best I can tell looking over it, this didn't fix my 'what word did I want here???' problem that I continue to struggle with. I still have a lot of placeholder words. But what it did do was remove my frustration, my anxiety, and my long pauses when I couldn't find a word I wanted. It was far easier to just continue on. It also gave me, for just a few hours, the ability to focus, enough that even as it slowly wore off I'd built enough momentum to keep going for a while.

Now I just gotta find a way to get there more regularly like I used to, without the herby nudge. Tomorrow I'll try the same thing though, only with editing instead, now that my itch has been thoroughly scratched.

And if anyone hears triumphant howling tomorrow evening, just know that it is I, Pasta, summoning the words again.

#I WAS THERE I FOUND THE ZONE #now i gotta edit trt's chapter so we'll see how that goes #hoooooly shit that was satisfying #even if it looked a bit different than how i used to write #my use of placeholder words still bothers me a bit because like #i already had to manage my adhd and now i gotta manage this too and it's a reminder my brain got scrambled by the plague #and that i don't know if it'll go away #but i think workarounds will be key for a while #i *can't* write the same way as before. i need to adapt #so this tells me i need to focus on placeholders and not letting anxiety use them to gatekeep the zone #i'm not sure about how to fix my focus yet but i'll keep trying #either way this was a satisfying experiment and I am SO HAPPY

[skull-ishcloud]

I find it just hilarious how my mother will go all like "how can parents of disabled people not care to understand other disabled people". While she has a child with ADHD who she payed to get formally diagnosed (by that I mean she knows), and never ever bothered to search the symptoms.

#i mean she didn't even know poor time management was a thing #but its even in the shittiest symptom list #she probably thinks I have ADD lol #actually adhd #adhd #disabilities #ableism #tw ableism #i say hilarious cause how else would I react #i feel like there are other ways #like when something bad happens I just crack up laughing #ppl look at me and think im crazy #at the end I don't even cry #I for some reason genuinely find it all funny #I had a math test these days and at the end half of class was crying. I was laughing my ass off. #they probably thought I was either mean (and smart af) or really crazy #venting

[bredforloyalty]

you know what? it's fine.

#tomorrow i either pass clinical psych or i don't pass. or i get a 3 and i'm forced to consider if it's worth trying again or not #that's fine. then i try to do something with the school psych assignment over the weekend #then i do a bit of preparing for the stupid fucking neuropsych online exam. so I don't go in blind #you gotta know how to cheat and how to use your notes y'know what i mean. #and then i start studying for the comprehensive exam and also work on the research paper #and if i fail clinical psych i can try again one or two weeks later (can't really do one bc i don't want to be back here that week) (so two) #and if i fail the comprehensive exam (or if it's crap like it's a 2 or a 3. bc it kind of needs to be a 5 bc of the degree grade) then i #try again on may 7 #and if i don't manage to finish the research paper by may 6 for the first check‚ i still have until the 19th to do it #i will make it through if it kills me.. and it shouldn't like if this tests my limits then i deserve to be hit with a #giant hammer until i die 💀

[coffee-bat]

oh right. reminder that i have a yt channel and stuff

#it's not very well-managed bc i have adhd lol #but it's there #i record *most* of the bigger/non-sketch pieces i make #i just often procrastinate on posting the speedpaints (or forget) #so despite technically making content regularly i just. forget to post for 2 months #then upload multiple things in a short burst before i lose motivation💀 #anyway. enjoy ig #youtube #speedpaint #warning: my music choices aren't impressive #i. don't know too much music. idk how people find songs they like. #so i have about 30 songs downloaded that i enjoy and mostly pick and choose a few fitting ones for a given speedpaint #i know it's a problem. i've gotten a total of 1 comment about it a year ago. and it makes me kinda insecure if ill be real for a sec #most of my used music is either game osts or stuff i heard in other speedpaints (so its safe to use) 😭 sorry guys its not great

[clerichs-xi]

tender as a bruise, sharper than a razor wrap her tentacles around me like she'll never let me go

klaus' backstory arc just ended heho and it was revealed he used to be the lover of the goddess of storms and pirates... she had basically kidnapped him and imprisoned him into murder and piracy for 20 years and needless to say it greatly damaged him on every level <3 its okay he's been able to be normal for once since the start of the campaign thanks to the party aka his new found family

get urself a surrogate middle-aged father who can speedrun a forbidden romance in one minute and then immediately go to confront the darkest version/a corrupted version of himself, as well as his toxic lover as she tortures him -w-)b

details and just the lines hehe

#clerichs.png #my artwork #original character #original art #original illustration #digital art #digital painting #digital illustration #dnd character #oc #oc illustration #im so unnormal about him. #he got hurt soo badly in isolation... thats where all the scars in his ref came from </3 #this portrait is of the one scar his goddess did not give him.... </3 #tfw ur jealous sea goddess lover pits you against other pirates and sea monsters to fight for ur life and test ur devotion #and she promised to love you wholly only for u to realize she doesn't understand or know what love is #and only wanted it bc everyone else who had love seemed so happy and she wanted that too #so after she destroyed everything you loved (literally your entire world) she merely treats u as a possession for 20 years #and you don't know how to ask for love because you don't know how to love either so you resent her and everything and everyone #leading rage to build up within you and you willfully slaughtering so many things because you cant handle your emotions and pain #and after deflating and sinking into apathy a rogue priest manages to break ur exterior and touch you deeply enough to let you love again #and because of him you're able to begin breaking free of everything and you lose everything again but this time #this time you wake up in a crate of fish to outstretched hands and people who love you as family even after learning who you are/were #filling you with strength and willpower even as your goddess lover comes back swearing she loved you and loves you still #and she tortures you and threatens to take everything away again if you don't come back to her but because of your love for everyone #and their love for you youre able to hold fast long enough for them to break you out #his goddess made a copy of him by warping the body and soul of a naive young man in an attempt to replace him and fill the hole in her hear #he had to literally kill the darkest version of himself that hurt everyone and he laid him to rest... catharsis if ive ever seen it #as i said. im so normal about him <3 the guy i project onto the most ever #klaus lierstark

[raiiny-bay]

it recently occurred to me that if red & teeth had a ship name it would probably be ted

#i don't know how i managed it but every single one of my characters' combined/ship names is laughably bad #like absolutely unfortunate #ted is honestly probably the best one #kel & dhes are either kellyn #which isn't bad per say but it's definitely not good & it's kind of boring #or they are DK. like fuckin. donkey kong #jax & sue are straight up sux #& my personal favorite is bow & marky who together make borcus. or borky for short #bonus is bow & kel who together are collectively known as belly #the two best friends: belly #absolutely atrocious honestly #n e way my project zomboid obsession has ended & i no longer know who i am #rainyrambles

[thedreadvampy]

so me and Sam FINALLY watched the last season of Capaldi's Who

and tell me how, after literally over a decade and for perhaps the first time in his fucking career, Steven Moffat wrote a not just tolerable but really actually good two-parter and fully stuck the landing. like the editing and pacing were still a bit off but the storyline was original, fun, interesting and emotionally invested, and most importantly, rather than ending on a damp fart or the most furious autofellatio in history, the final part didn't fumble it and ended in a way that felt emotionally satisfying and like it made sense for the characters. like the last time he successfully wrapped up a multiparter in a way that didn't feel cheap and hollowly disappointing to me was literally The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, and a) that was in 2005 and b) tbh The Doctor Dances is about a tenth as compelling and memorable as The Empty Child.

so after 12 years of either hackery or great ideas that fall apart in the second act, Steven Moffat writes what I would genuinely consider to be a memorable Good Doctor Who serial. it ends with bittersweet pathos, a solid closer for all the main characters, and sends Moffat's showrunning career out on a genuine high despite failing ratings and budget cuts (and the fact Doctor Who hasn't been consistently good since about 2009). good job Steve. with grudging respect I admit you pulled it out of the bag on this one.

wait what's this there's one more episode left? and it stars Mark Gatiss? and you literally spend the whole episode inexplicably just shitting all over the legacy of Doctor Who by inventing a version of the First Doctor that bears literally no resemblance to the character that William Hartnell actually played, just so you can spend the whole episode saying misogynistic things to run yourself off to how much more Totally Feminist your version was than the version you made up in your head of what Doctor Who was like in the 60s? and it added literally nothing to the season except to take all the wind out of the sails of the actually good finale you already wrote?

even when he writes a good episode this fucker still finds ways to disappoint me.

#red said #as I remembered it is by a LONG shot the best that Doctor Who has been under Moffat and I do think giving Capaldi more creative control #helped a lot. cause he's a massive nerd and also he approximately knows how to construct a story. #bill is the first female companion Moffat has ever written with an actual fucking personality #(even if being mean that personality is maybe kind of just what you'd get if you put rose Martha and Donna in a blender) #(at least she's not a blank slate with the words SASSY. SEXY. written on it) #matt Lucas is genuinely surprising bc despite hating the man it's kind of impossible to not like Nardole by the end?? #michelle gomez finally gets some room to get her Anthony Ainley on and be the Master PROPERLY #i was hooting and clapping my hands at the John Sim Master's dumb disguise #like the cast is GREAT #(and while he still can't shut the fuck up about her at least Moffat isn't shoving River fucking Song down my throat 24/7) #buuuuuuuut uhhhh the politics are. incoherent and the vibes are rancid in a lot of the episode plots. #they clearly WANT to do Social Commentary but weirdly keep bringing up colonialism and capitalism and then taking the side of the baddies? #how are you doing to do a piece about the British Empire colonising Mars with a posh villain and a whole comparison to the British Raj #then come down on the side of the British state? same with the ninth legion piece? and the zombie spacesuit one is fun #but it wraps up with 'and then they complained to upper management and capitalism ended forever the end' #uhhhhh in the one with the microbot colony again we conclude the Morally Correct Answer is colonialism #don't get me started on the monks plot which is a) literally just ripping off the Year That Never Was but without the emotional impact #but also b) has some really weird and genuinely fucked up ideas about both geopolitics and uhhhh consent???? #so yeah the philosophical core is either incoherent or Fucking Horrendous in almost every episode #it's frequently derivative but tbh that's often to its benefit bc it vibes like trying to figure out what actually makes episodes memorable #and the budget is clearly cut to the bone bc the visual effects look worse than 2005 and the post edits are really weird and janky #like the pacing and ordering is weirdly off and a lot of the shot to shot transitions are awkward or confusing. #plus the sound design in the first few eps is. unhinged. it sounds like offbrand versions of standard stings it's all just Slightly Wrong #but for real i liked it more than I've liked any other season of Moffat Who. it's messy incoherent and often politically INFURIATING #but it has some actual heart and energy. and it feels like doctor who. and i would say moffat is spending like 10% as much time #wanking over his own past triumphs (and Alex Kingston) #and a lot more time like. trying to write something which works. he's not like successful 100% of the time. or even 50%. #but there's a lot more warmth and creativity. mackie capaldi and lucas have actual chemistry as a core cast #and i think it helps that everyone in the core cast is SO PSYCHED TO BE THERE. like it just wasn't a slog like all Moffat's other seasons.

[theflyingfeeling]

okay I'm not expecting anyone to care all that much, but I was looking at the prompts for the 18th Day of Gift-Giving for my Olli/Allu fic advent calendar and I'm between two options on what to do with them, so if anyone out there wants to put in their two cents...

(see the pros and cons in the tags of the original post)

#on one hand i'd like to write a standalone with a storyline of its own #because that way i could probably manage to write a better story #on the other hand i kinda feel like i should focus on the main plot after all the standalones i've posted this week #but if i stick to the main plot my options would be more limited 🤔 #because i don't feel like making either of them have a random headache/migrain or some kinda personal crisis #just for the sake of the prompt #i know there's barely any plot to begin with but i still don't want to make it too scattered 😅 #i have an idea that would work alright for the main story and it would probably turn out cute enough #but some of the other prompts that wouldn't really work for the main story are soooooooo tempting #and i mean. at least 4 or 5 of the stories for next week will be related to the main plot #plus the stories for the 16th and the 17th #so there'd still be plenty for that too! #i'm probably gonna make my own decision regardless of the voting result but i'd like to hear from you anyway #i've never made a poll before and i'm kinda nervous about this lol i really am expecting this to get maybe 3 votes max 🤡 #i hate how the title is so huge pls don't be annoyed with me i'm sorry for existing i promise i'll never make a post ever again 😭 #not putting this in any tags. you see this if you see this

[diluc33rpm]

the romance/relationship system in bg3 is genuinely some of the worst designed shit i've ever seen in any game with that feature but at least the memes we get out of it are funny. once saw someone comment something along the lines of 'patch note: waving at gale will no longer cause him to buy a house for the two of you to retire in' and i've never recovered since

#i love gale he doesn't deserve (most of) the incel slander #but it's painfully such a good riff because it really really does feel like that #the player choices being a b/w alternation between 'hey there' and 'YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF... NOW!' normally is already comical as is #the fact that it carries over into interactions with the party members who you're presumably trying to be close with is... something else #and what makes it worse is it ISN'T jokey hyperbole. anyone remember 'send a mental image of you kissing him or HIS HEAD ON A PIKE.' c'mon #trying to chat and vibe at the refugee camp celebration and the sum of conversation i get is one (1) line asking how they're doing #because going any further than that elicits marking you down for the path of boning take it or leave it #it's genuinely so hard to get to feel like you can deepen a relationship with the characters in ways that aren't trying to pursue them #yes! halsin! i really want to know you better! i just don't want the ass!! why is trying to hit the only option other than up and leaving!! #99% of the time i expect nothing from media creators in terms of writing interactive relationships #larian are beyond parody in that they've somehow managed to do worse than the already suboptimal majority #we're just going to impose the roadblock of do you want to fuck y/n right off the bat. good luck finding a way to talk around that if not #the obscuration surrounding where exactly the checks are really does not help at all either #when the shit's got even the allos complaining about it you know it's BAD #shame because i was excited for character scenes given that's a lot of what's hyped up about the game #but no it's all just the romances. 'what if i'd like to breathe in someone's general direction-' well now have you heard of our romances? #fish fear them party members fear them and tav is going to have to walk alone on this sinful earth #conservative bigoted relative at the family reunion withers era was a fucking time before they tweaked that line speaking of #just so crazy they can get away with this shit #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 liveblog

[unloneliest]

the problem of the matter is i did internalize so much of what ex friend believed about me. even though i knew he was wrong and knew what was happening and tried to stop it and if i took more action to stop it would have been abusing power i held in a way i couldn't live with myself for.

#A BAD PERSON TRYING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE WOULD'VE GOTTEN YOU FIRED AND EVICTED IN WINTER IN ALASKA YOU MOTHERFUCKER. WHICH I DID NOT DO #he was renting a room from my dad. for cheaper than he wouldve been able to find anywhere else. his brother was too #his brother didn't pay rent for over 6 months and my dad just forgave him the debt because my dad knew how much of a difference it wouldve #made when he was that age. and i had told him ex friend was family to me & my dad applied that to the brother too. bc he is a good person. #and one of the strongest parts of my support system. and i didn't say a word to him about what was happening until i knew he already had a #plan for when he would be ending ex friend's lease. so there would be no subconscious impact on ex friend's housing either #mgmt at work straight up asked me if i thought ex friend should be fired immediately multiple times and i'm in retrospect livid they put me #in that position but told them to go by the strike system in the employee handbook and to follow policy that ex friend knew perfectly. that #it couldn't be on me as acting assistant manager to choose #and after 10 months of workplace harassment i got a different job to save my life. ex friend didn't get fired. #he did saw trap shit to my brain!!!!!! jesus christ #he moved cross country to live with his long time gf he called his wife despite never having met irl. to a way more conservative state. #despite being gay. and she left him this summer lol #hadn't checked his twitter in over a year when it got pulled up frm an old link and i saw that. and when he was already at a low point too #me voice. oh no who could've seen this coming. from how you behave in every relationship in your life #may delete this in the morning. but i have to talk about it sometimes #i'm never reaching out for closure both bc he wouldn't give me any and because i know it would trigger him and i don't intentionally trigge #people. unlike him :) #vampire pit #like. i have to talk about it sometimes. i have to talk about it. #jam posts

[vse-kar-vem]

how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)

#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on #either way #im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔 #if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me #again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg #i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever #but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do #and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying #like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative #but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me #oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you #but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't #like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it) #i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable! #fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it #and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier #of my friendships #wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up #the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom) #i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a #'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order #not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i #may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me ! #sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭 #vee rambles