#NOTHING IS WORKING and i dont know what to do. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beary-rambles · 1 day

Text

Shots

summary: you’ve been best friends with jacaerys since you were children but due to his recent girlfriend you two have barely spent anytime together. You two are forced back into the same space when you attend cregan starks party and tensions rise

r.q: Nothing specific but please give more modern jace w smut. Your work is so gooddd 😩

w.c: 2k

c.w: porn with a little plot, a little angst, modern!college!cregan, modern!college!jace x reader, cregan the miracle worker, oral (f!receiving), protected sex (WRAP IT UP!), not proofread

a.n: i have a couple requests im supposed to get done before this but when i saw this in my inbox it wouldn't leave my mind 😭 love you guys hope you enjoy 🫶

requests are open - masterlist

You didnt want to come to this party tonight but cregan had practically begged you to come.

‘i dont know cregan.’ you had told him while walking out of your shared lab class. ‘oh come on itll be fun,’ he pauses and thinks for a moment before having a devious grin on his face. ‘if youre worried about it i promise you wont see jace. he said hes busy’ you eye him and he swears hes not lying so you shrug and tell him sure you’ll be there leading him to hug you before running off.

its not like you hated jacaerys, you couldnt the two of you are best friends. Well you're currently unsure of how the two of you stand, his current girlfriend seemed so determined to be rid of you and you didn't want to get in the way you backed off not wanting her to feel uncomfortable but its since left you feeling strange.

You should feel happy for him, he's found someone he seems to like but instead you’re left with a sharpness in your chest anytime you think about him and someone else. You like him. No maybe you love him but he clearly doesn't seem to like you like that so you can never tell him that. You're happy he isn't at this party and is busy doing whatever he’s doing. You decided you need to take your mind off him, you can keep yourself stuck in your head over this and you certainly cant be crushing on a taken man.

Now youre stuck talking with this guy, something Lannister you don't even know his name, but he seems more than eager to be talking with you and for that a part of you is grateful you didn’t have to work to hard to get a guys attention.

“Wheres the bathroom?” “Ill take you to one.” He grabs your hand harshly and begins to lead you to the staircase. You tug at the hand hes stuck holding and attempt to get him to let go telling him you dont need him to hold you. He says something about it just being quicker and you should just follow him. This rings alarms in your head and now your gripping the rail and forcefully trying to get out of his grip. “get the fuck off me!” “just shut the fuck up and come with me.”

“What the fuck do you think your doing man?” Your eyes widen in shock at his voice as the lannister scoffs at him, “just trying to take the lady to the restroom velaryon.” “she doesn't wanna go with you man let her go. and theres not a bathroom up there.” He walks up to the other guy and shoves him back his hand lets go of yours and with your new freedom and you quickly put a distance between you two. The lannister mumbles some shit under his breath and ends up walking upstairs alone, “she isnt even worth it.”

“are you okay?” jace quickly rushes back over to you and grabs your hand check it looking at you alarmed. “im okay thank you jace.” He lets out a sigh of relief and takes a step back running a hand through his hair. You just stare at him and your heart races, god hes so hot wearing just a pair of shorts and an open white button up with his whole chest out, the necklace you had given him for his birthday a couple years ago sits nicely on his chest, his hair is wet and even so is his chest leading you to realize he had been out in the pool. He was at this fucking party. Cregan that fucking asshole. “i thought you weren't coming.”

He tilts his head at you and shakes his head, “who told you that?” “Cregan.” He hums and turns away for a second mumbling some stuff under his breath you swear you hear something about cregan being an ass before turning back to you. “He must have gotten the dates mixed up.” All you can do is nod and play with your fingers, its awkward. You have never felt awkward around jace so this was different, of course your own feelings have to come around and ruin everything. While you look down at your hands you dont notice that hes just staring at you with a starry eyes. “You want a drink?”

You look up at him and you feel hot finally noticing his gaze on you, “sure.” The two of you make your way to the kitchen where you walk past cregan who gives you a wink as you walk by that fucking asshole, what was he even trying to do? As you watch jace you cant help yourself, “hows… oh whats her name?” you mumble the last part under your breath unable to even remember the poor girls name. He just hums and hands you a cup, “Claire? Oh we broke up.” you gasp and look at him shocked, “oh my god im so sorry.” he smiles at you and shakes his head easily tossing the shot into his mouth. “She cheated on me, you know that guy mason,” “the guy in the photography course?” “yeah with him,” “he looks like her cousin,” “thats because he is her cousin.” you gasp in horror on of you hands flying to cover your mouth as you try not to laugh.

He laughs, and makes a fist to cover his mouth, all you can think about is how beautiful he is, “You can laugh you know its funny.” with his permission you dub over with a laugh and shake your head, “thats unbelievable.” “imagine my shock!” “Im still sorry by the way, thats really shitty.” He continues to look out in the distance as he takes other shot, “its alright love i was gonna dump her anyway.”

You take a sip from your cup and just watch him, “why? thought you liked her?” For the first time in awhile he looks over at you and you take notice of the affectionate look in his eyes as he smiled softly at you. “i realized i liked somebody else.” “Ah.” you look away and you feel him move closer to you and grab you chin to look at him. “You wanna know who?” “Jace..” Hes standing so close you can smell his cologne, his hand leaves you chin and runs down your arm. “Ive known her for a long time but i only just realized how much i love her, I’ve been a fool.”

You kiss him, reaching your hands to cup his cheeks, he deepens the kiss his hands grabbing your waist to pull you closer to him pressing you directly against him. You dont know how long youve been standing there just kissing him, when you two pull away to take a breath you can hear a get a room from someone who walks by and you remember youre just standing in some random guys kitchen and press your head into his neck. “this is so embarrassing.” he just laughs and presses a kiss to the top of your head. “You wanna come back to mine?” His implications are very clear to you especially as you feel his hardness pressing against you, you nod.

Not even thirty minutes later he had you laid out bare on his bed, his mouth latched onto your clit leaving you desperately clinging onto his hair as you throw your head back, “jace.” he hums as he brings one of his hands down to play with your folds as his other stays firmly on your stomach pressing you down onto the mattress.

as you get closer your hands stray from his hair and fist the newly washed sheets under you as you continue to call out his name. you've been with a couple guys in the past but none pf them compared to how jace had been making you feel, none of them made you quiver and shake when you came like he did. he mouth finally detaches from you and he sits up looking at you while licking his lips. “That good?” You slap his chest and continue to take some deep breaths, “fuck you.” “i will i promise.”

His shirt and shorts had been thrown off somewhere, probably out laying in his hallway along with your clothes. He quickly slides a condom on before climbing on top of you so his necklace is dangling in front of you. “You good?” you nod at him and he kisses down your neck and leaves kisses all over your breasts. “Need you jace.”

“you need what baby?” you groan as you feel him push his dick between you fold lightly rubbing up and down. “Please jace.” “what is it? tell me and ill do anything for you.” He looks at you expectantly and you let out a strained moan as you begin to beg him, “please fuck me jace please please.” he hums happily and quickly readjusts himself, “You only needed to ask baby.”

You feel like your heart is about to burst out of your chest as he thrusts into you, as your hands grip his his back and running down it as he continues to thrust, thats definitely going to leave a mark. but based on the hiss and groans he lets out that tells you he likes it.

You swear youve never felt so good, he continues to hit the deepest and sweetest parts of you. He fucks you so fast and hard you're shocked the bed under you stays intact, he brings one of his hands down to your clit and your hands dig into his lower back and you cant help but press your head to his shoulder. “Jace fuck jace.” your mouth his muffled against his skin but he acknowledges you by bringing his lips to yours into a harsh kiss matching the thrusts of his hips. “Wanted this for so long jace.” he groans and you swear he somehow begins to move faster, “me too baby me too, now that i have you ill never let you go,” he licks at the sweat that has dripped his way to you neck and his hands move to grip your waist, “gonna fuck you everyday, i promise fuck best pussy in the world.”

You whimper at his words and your head is once against pressed against his shoulder, “im so close.” “cum for me baby please i need to feel it,” he hisses as he feels you bite into his shoulder and his eyes rolls back into head, “im right behind you fuck cum please.”

“i love you.” the words leave you easily as you cum. He cums at the sensation of you releasing, “fuck i love you.” leaving him twitching and still as he huffs and puffs, out of breath. he pulls out with a hiss and lets out an apology as he sees you wince, he climbs out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom, getting rid of his condom and coming back with a towel cleaning you and him up before climbing into bed next to you.

“fuck that was good.” the two of you laugh and you roll yourself to look at him. “did you mean it?” he hums and draws shapes on your stomach, “mean what?” “that you love me?” He looks at you with a dumbfounded look, “are you serious?” you rolls your eyes and try to turn away but he grabs you and pulls you close to him pressing your face against his chest, “of course i love you you idiot.” you smile and press a kiss on his chest before you fall asleep.

when you wake up the next morning and check you phone you see some text from cregan from last night.

‘saw you leave with jace just now 😁’

‘you’re welcome you bitch 🫶’

132 notes · View notes

technicallyvivi · 2 days

Text

NSFW WARNING!

yunho letting off stress after a long, hard day at work.

after a long day of work yunho finally gets home, he opens the door and throws his bag somewhere in the living room, with a bang. it’s too dark to see and he could care less as he is way to exhausted to pay any mind to what he’s doing. he walks into your shared room and takes his shirt off noticing you’re asleep. his pants are next to be thrown somewhere across the room. y/n’s snores are soft and yunho giggles to himself shutting up in an attempt to not wake you up, as he climbs into the bed that only makes said attempt fail by squeaking. you yawn and turn over seeing his face close to yours, you kiss his cheek. “you’re home.” you yawn “i had been waiting.” yunho chuckles softly getting into a comfortable position “poor baby, i didnt mean to make you wait long. i got held up.” you smile “that’s okay. you’re here now.” you kiss his neck softly and yunho feels himself start to get hard. “fuck y/n i need to let off some steam. work was hard” you nod and as if he was gonna do it anyways he starts taking your panties off under the covers. “so wet.” yunho says playing between your folds. you throw the covers off the bed to get a good look at his hands. he spends a while teasing you, just to hear your soft moans and whiny “please.”’s. then he speaks up “sorry baby, let me give you what you want. tell me, how many fingers?” your voice is shaky but you manage to let out a couple words and form a sentence “mm one. more hurts.” yunho nods and slowly pushes one digit in putting his head near your ear and whispering “you’re so tight hm?” you shiver as he starts moving slowly, never breaking eye contact with you and when you try to close your eyes, he doesnt let it happen. “no i want you to see me.” the dominance in his voice makes you shift on the bed leading his finger to hit your sweet spot “f-fuck yunho.” you moan “i need to feel more let me add another baby” he expects a yes but you shake your head “hurts” yunho smiles and kisses under your ear softly, nibbling and sucking “ill make sure it feels good” you are so far gone and in your sub space you have to agree. you nod. yunho take a second finger and pushes the tip into your tight hole, you moan gripping onto his arm. “ah-fuck i cant, god!” he shushes you and whispers “come on baby i know you can take it all, you’re strong. if you can take my big dick you can take a couple fingers.” you close your eyes and he pushes it in slowly bit by bit, cooing sweet nothings into your ear. once its fully inside you, you feel so full. “see? what a good girl, you’re so good for me arent you? arent you?” he raises his voice when you moan in response “words baby.” you nod quickly “y- yes fuck!” he speeds his fingers up and hits your spot straight on repeatedly, your back arches and you scratch his back leaving streaks of red. his grunts as he continues dont make it any better for you as you feel your orgasm approaching, you close your thighs around his hand which he pushes back open with force, groaning. “take it all princess.” you let out a shriek and squirt all over his fingers. “sh-shit.” you shiver. yunho laughs, pulling his fingers out carefully and laying next to you. he turns your chin to look at him “open you eyes.” you listen and watch as he takes his fingers coated in your arousal to his mouth and licks them off, then bringing them to your mouth so you can lick them fully clean. “look how good you taste.” he smiles kissing your forehead. “did i do good enough.” you ask knowing he had a bad day at work. “amazing. come here, lets sleep.” he opens his arms up and cuddles you, caressing your hair and humming a sweet lullaby until you fall asleep.

#yunho smut #ateez hard thoughts #ateez fluff #jeong yunho #ateez #ateez smut #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #yunho x reader

70 notes · View notes

kithj · 2 days

Note

IM THE PERSON WHO WAS TALKING ABOUT THINGS HAVE GOTTEN WORSE SINCE WE LAST SPOKE A FEW DAYS AGO And i agree about how sad it is that most queer horror authors i dont vibe with. do you have any you DO like? im always on the lookout for more and from what i’ve seen of your book taste on here we have pretty similar taste in books. can be any genre of horror tbh im not picky

hehehe yes i'd love to give u some recommendations! though if i'm being honest i really haven't found that many authors in the genre that i really vibe with yet. im still on the hunt... may leitz is probably the only one i can recommend that is kinda in the same vein as the "popular" ones, but Leitz is someone who i think does well balancing the extreme aspects of it with characters that are actually interesting and sympathetic to read (as opposed to just one-dimensional cannon fodder for random violence)

i don't know if any of these authors actually refer to themselves as "queer horror" authors nor do i know with certainty if all of them are a part of the lgbt community, but um. well i like their books. these also all aren't strictly about the characters identity; some focus more on it than others so i'll just say it's horror + lgbt characters.

i'll start with extreme horror:

fluids by may leitz - this will be the most extreme book i recommend, and i've talked about it a few times before. it's about two women, named Dahlia and Lauren, who meet on tinder during the pandemic, and after only a few days of talking Lauren takes it upon herself to drive to Dahlia's hometown and try and "save" her. things escalate, and the two women's paths diverge. cw: extreme violence and gore, rape, incest (the two girls pretend to be related), emetophobia, suicide, eating disorder, murder, literally everything you can think of. this is Extreme Horror, and i wouldn't recommend this one for anyone that's not already familiar with the genre.

girl flesh by may leitz - while i didn't like this one as much as fluids, i'm just a fan of may leitz's writing in general so i'd still recommend it. this one has a bit of a pacing problem & does a lot of telling rather than showing, but i like the direction leitz takes this one in the end. i've talked about this one before too so you might remember me rambling about it. this one is about two women who are kidnapped and wake up restrained in a dirty hotel in the middle of the texas mesa. they work together to escape their captors as well as the wild mesa and maybe even fall in love a little bit on the way. cw: extreme violence, gore, transphobia/deadnaming, eating disorder, emetophobia, self-harm, rape. this one isn't as extreme as fluids but i'd still be cautious with it.

to be devoured by sara tantlinger - this one is a short novella you can read in one sitting. Andi really really really wants to know what carrion tastes like. she's fascinated by the vultures that circle the edge of her property, but her fascination soon turns to obsession, and Andi will stop at nothing to learn their secrets. cw: blood consumption, cannibalism, violence and gore, very graphic animal harm and animal death

okay now the rest are just more general horror:

house of hunger by alexis henderson - loosely based on the legend of Elizabeth of Bathory, this story takes place in a society that runs on blood. Marion travels to the House of Hunger to begin her term as a bloodmaid under Countess Lisavet, who has a mysterious ailment that renders her weak and bedbound unless she has a constant flow of blood to treat it. Marion gets to know the other bloodmaids, and in time begins to realize not all is as it seems at the House of Hunger. cw: blood consumption, violence, abusive relationships/gaslighting, death

alexis henderson has also written the year of the witching, and she just announced an academy for liars. i really like her writing so i plan to check out her other work soon-ish.

apparitions by adam pottle - again i talked about this one recently so you may have seen it already, but i NEED more people to read this book. this follows the story of a young man who was born deaf and raised in an abusive household until he was able to escape as a teenager, only to be institutionalized immediately after. there he meets another deaf teen, and for the first time in his life, he has a language that he can speak with and can finally be understood. cw: child abuse, institutionalization, homophobia, abusive relationship, ableism, violence, death, religious trauma, animal harm and animal death.

the luminous dead by caitlin starling - gyre price is a lone caver swaddled inside a hi-tech suit that allows her to dive deep underground to map mineral deposits off-planet. however, the person on the other end of the suit has other plans, and easily takes control of gyre and her suit, putting the two at odds with each other as gyre spirals into uncertainty and paranoia while also having to deal with the terrifying presence of the tunneler. cw: claustrophobia, death, forced drugging, violence, gore, abusive/toxic relationship

caitlin starling also has a few other books though i haven't gotten around to reading them yet and i honestly haven't heard much about them so i can't say how they compare, but the luminous dead is one of my favorites of all time.

the Sworn Soldier series by T. Kingfisher - i love these books, they're just short fun horror stories with a really charming main character. Alex Easton is a retired soldier from Gallacia, and has their own special pronouns in Gallacian (kan/kanself) as part of their occupation and culture, and is what we would consider nonbinary (not all soldiers identify this way, but Alex does). vicars in Gallacia use van/vanself, there are different pronouns for children and adults, etc. i think it's just really interesting and i enjoy what the author has done with the worldbuilding and language, and how seamlessly it fits into her writing. the first book is a retelling of the fall of the house of usher (and is the stronger of the two) while the second one has Alex returning home to Gallacia and facing off with an old Gallacian superstition that's haunting their family cottage.

again i don't really know how T. Kingfisher/Ursula Vernon personally identifies but i do recommend her writing regardless, she's written other horror books as well as some fantasy books & she's just incredibly skilled imo, easy and fun to read.

most of my TBR that i'm working towards is horror so maybe i'll update this post later with more.... i'm currently reading providence girls by morgan dante and into the drowning deep by mira grant.

morgan dante has a few other books that are all some flavor of gothic horror/romance and i'm very excited for their new book that just came out TODAY that's a carmilla/elizabeth of bathory reimagining. i'm planning on reading that Immediately (i preordered it) so i'll report back for it and once i finish providence girls, too.

the next few books on my TBR that are all lgbt + horror:

The Seep by Chana Porter

Thirst by Marina Yuszczuk

A Dowry of Blood & An Education in Malice, both by S.T. Gibson

Little Rot by Akwaeke Emezi (i think this one is a thriller actually and also isnt out yet but whatever. i recommend this author, they genre-hop a lot & have a decent amount of work published already)

Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon

and of course i always recommend looking up content warnings if you need to especially for the last few since i haven't read them myself and can't vouch for them just yet. but ummm hopefully you see something you like 😭 i'll stop yapping <3

#sorry i do favor f/f pairings or sapphic characters in books and thats kinda obvious here lmfao #anyways. thanks for enabling me to talk about books <3 #i really want to read the seep ive been dying to get to it. nyehilism recommend it to me mwah #into the drowning deep is beating my ass i WILL finish it today so i can move on #i'll probably post about it here once i finish i have Thots about it already #oh also i just looked and caitlin starling's newest book is under st martin's press which is being boycotted atm #so that's probably why i havent seen anything #the luminous dead is under harper voyager tho #ask #anonymous #long post

56 notes · View notes

tales-from-the-aether-ttrpg · 9 hours

Text

Something ive noticed about a lot of people who play dnd (myself included) is that… they arent really playing dnd.

I don’t mean that in the - they’ve homebrewed the system to the point where they are basically playing a completely different game. i mean it in the way that dnd is less of a game and more of a tool or frame work to tell improve stories with friends. Thats why so many tables have a significant amount of homebrew rules or play it loose with the rules - because dnd is secondary to the act of telling a story.

Unfortunately, dnd wasn’t built for such a narratively focused sandbox. It was built around dungeons and adventuring and violence in general - an aspect that is only a fraction of many stories that dnd is used to tell.

I think that is why so many people are resistant from trying other ttrpg systems that may give them a better player experience. They dont play dnd to play dnd but they dont even realize that. The game is secondary so why does it matter what game they play? Everyone at their table is already versed in dnd so they can make it work as a framework even if its trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

This is something ive been thinking about a lot while making my ttrpg Tales from the Aether as I am inspecting my own view and experience with dnd and what i enjoy about it versus what could be done better. Why do me and my friends play dnd? To hang out and tell stories. Dnd happens to be the system i knew at the time we started and thus it is the one we used. But there is nothing particular about dnd that supports this goal while there are many things that hold us back - such as characters archetypes and classes being so ridged and having practically zero guidance for running the game outside of combat or adventuring. This is where homebrew comes in.

Ironically thats the entire premise of Tales from the Aether. I started making it years ago with the idea that this system is specifically a framework for people to tell improve stories with friends. That is the whole point. All of the mechanics revolve around giving players the tools to do what they want while the rules act more as a form of in universe world building (like a hard magic system) than actual rules.

The reason why so many people who play dnd are hesitant or straight up refuse to try out other ttrpgs is because the game is secondary. Its a tool. Its a framework that they can build off of to create the experience that they want. Its familiar so they know how to bend it, what parts to chip off or expand, to give them what they want. A new ttrpg, even if its one that gives them everything they want in a ttrpg, is unfamiliar and thus not worth investing in when they already have something that works well enough.

Idk i may be way off base here but from my own experience and from watching live plays and reading people’s takes on dnd and playing the game… thats kinda the conclusion ive come to.

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #ttrpg #ttrpg community #just some thoughts ive been moling over for a while…

62 notes · View notes

bakathief · 2 days

Note

Hi just want to let you know that you dont need to rush with anything just take it slowly, okay. We'll just waiting for you.

thank you very much! I‘ve been doing this for a while so I‘m pretty good at setting my own pace and doing what brings me the most joy or I wouldn‘t have been able to create fanwork for over a decade. However, I have little patience for people who just demand content. Most creators do all their fanwork in their free time and ask for nothing, they‘ll keep going even when getting no feedback at all. Since we‘re not getting much out of it except those sweet words of encouragement at times it is easy to be discouraged. I enjoy creating but I can‘t imagine any positive consequences of a „when is the next update“ comment. None. For any creator. It just sounds like an entitled demand from a greedy consumer who you don‘t even want to entertain anymore.

I‘m not out for comments even though I love them as much as anyone else. But if you have a story or fanwork you enjoyed give them a comment about how you loved that piece and what parts specifically you enjoyed. Personally this motivates me more than anything because you get to experience that part of your work again through the eyes of someone else, remember how you created that that scene and just ignite a wave of motivation and good feelings. The chances of getting more content are a lot better with that method, trust me. Now please throw some love at your favorite creators.

#I honestly don‘t want to sound snobby or like a smartass #But I think people forget that we create just for passions sake #We don‘t ask for anything #Be nice to your fanwork creators and we‘ll happily keep making new fan content

38 notes · View notes

moonshynecybin · 2 days

Note

dont know if anyones done this yet but elaborate on the cowboy thing plsssss

TWO OPTIONS. both long as FUCK !

one. campy roleplay. marc likes cota (mostly good memories) he LOVES a gimmick and they BOTH love being absolutely shamelessly silly. it’s marc in assless chaps and a lil stripper vest cowboy outfit and NOTHING ELSE. it’s vale FULLY buttoned up with a lil handkerchief and a jaunty cowboy hat and his lil earring (low effort in the costume department on this one from him. HIGH effort from marc i think) it’s just. astoundingly awful rodeo puns as marc strips vale slowlyyyyyy (vale telling him step by step what to remove next…) and then like. marc riding him into the mattress. core working thighs flexing breathless laughing. sinuous. slow. vale’s hands tracing up the smooth outside of marc’s thigh… we’ve seen how those hips move this weekend he is. ON IT. steals the hat off of vale’s sweaty head and winks at him

SCENARIOOOOO two!!! they are actually and literally in the wild west. came over to the us as young teens seeking fame and fortune and they both wheeled around the cattle driving scene in the southwest… vale and marc eventually meeting and falling into bed together as you do on these long haul herding caravans (in LOVE. talking alllll day as they ride being ANNOYING. INSUFFERABLE. truly so in sync.) and they become close after a while just. talking under the stars. bonding about being away from home. about being in charge of their little brothers… and they’re both clearly the best riders… spend the most time on their horses… the most time doing trick shots with their guns… shooting cans and one upping themselves… truly like recognizing like in the thrill seeking slut department.

and eventually vale decides to split with some ranch hands (academy boys) to star in his own traveling gunslinger/horse trick show… marc sticks behind even though he DESPERATELY wants to come (sick to his STOMACH seeing vale’s horse leave town. keeps the advertisement posters from town to town locked in his sidebag and carefully wrapped in leather to protect from the weather. just to know where he is. just to see his face… because if he DID go with vale, ALEX would want 2 come. and marc (sole provider/protector of alex in this universe. sending money back 2 home. significantly more neurotic about him as a result) WILL NOT let anything happen to alex. EVER. and so he has to let vale go…

so ten years pass and vale amasses a cult following and alex has established himself as like. a bankers apprentice (he’s fucking franky. marc has NO idea godbless. thinks he is nobly sacrificing his love life for alex who is. fully getting way more dick than him.) and FINALLY eventually marc sees a poster of vale and his boys papered up in some bar and is like. okay i’m doing something for meeee… and he rides up to vale’s camp where he’s set up his little performance area and fucking. shoots vale’s gun straight out of his hand. bullseye. and vale doesn’t even have to look up to know who it is. and he just starts smiling…

i lied THREE. westworld au. marc would have SUCH a fucked up relationship to his body if he simply knew he could go in some goop and be made perfectly new again. i think he literally dreams of that happening irl so. truly body horror king in this. comically reckless. meanwhile vale is the cyborg cowboy who is like. um what if i don’t WANT parts of me replaced wholesale like a fucked up ship of theseus. what if i like being ME ??

#motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez #did not proofread. POST !

38 notes · View notes

t8oo · 1 day

Text

By all accounts the lupin fandom has always prided itself as a drama free ship war free open to polyamory and wildly different headcanons fandom. And I can name a few people that have worked hard to keep this place very friendly. And I really started in this fandom in a friendly place. I even managed to make friends that Liked Luzeni maybe even just as much as me. I was ecstasic. I really loved those people so much, I talked to them daily. Some of them I respected so much for their craft. Great.

Id always been upfront and very clear that they were befriending someone who was fucked in the head. And i dont mean seasonal depression type I mean Bipolar and Bpd and all the symptoms it entails. Im not even going to mention the upbringing and the life ive had. All of it was a complete and violently abusive catastrophy.

Last year I exhibited symptoms that were intense. TOXIC. It didnt mean that I was toxic to my friend, because I was rational enough to know about boundaries. I was at the end of my rope. For undisclosed reasons I had to be interned. Great. During the ultimate time that lead me to become crazy, not a single person i thought was my friend gave me a hand. I received a message from one friend while I was litteraly perched on the windowsill about to jump telling me about their life. Not asking abt me. I sent some Hey thats cool but im about to kill myself and they didnt reply. Days after I was interned they told me that my message triggered them so they had to have an emergency meeting with their psychiatrist. Cool. Nothing abt me still. Sorry ? Fallout 1

During yhat whole shitstorm and despite everything a friend became my like. favorite person in bpd terms. Just really fucking embarassing shit really. I tried to prevent it, i tried to pull out not to make it worse, which not only was making it worse but was making it toxic. I aparently blew out, which of course my memory conveniently forgot. I said something ahout their partner. They never explained what. Again, after internment I apologized. They told me they needed time. They bsolutely deserved it. I was probably horrible to warrant that reaction. I might even have been toxic. Again, I do not remember what I even said. Im not a demonic entity it couldnt have been like I desacrated them and insulted them beyond repair. Even in my anger I have always been limited. But all i can do is speculate. They never explained, just took my apology. And then They never came back. That friend I liked so much that despite everything I did to control myself became a person i liked beyond wat was normal. We have had so much fun. Not enough to mend bridges or explained anything. Fallout 2

During that blow out one friend meddled, asking that other friend for information ? I asked to pass along a message to friend B. which friend A refused. Like it was not their business, even tho they were clearly invested in the business enough to talk to both of us about it lol. No problem. 4 days ago thou i confronted a group of friends that were friends As friend, for kicking them out of an rp group for no reason, even bordering on racism. My friend feels hurt about that event, has always hinted at it. it even stopped them from rping, something they did for 12 years. They had no closure and so I tried to bring it to them. Asshole move or empathic ? Thinking back i may have been taking the situation personnaly because i was already on my way out menrally. I dont know. All i know is that four days later, after i talked for hours to that group and the reason why they treated my friend so poorly that they still had scars over it, i was experiencing a mental crisis and that friend refused a request. Great. Fallout 3

The last friend litteraly stood by and said nothing. Not before the fallout and not after. I dont even know'if that counts as a fallout. This girl was so cute, so fun, so talented, so FUNNY. And when it came to a heed she said nothing. No side taking. Neutrality. Okay

At this point I no longer had anyone to talk to I think. I was documenting my attempt and the horrible conditions of the psych ward on twitter for everyone of my "friends" to see. One i particularly loved so much because they genuinely were on the same level of insanity related to luzeni made a tweet about the late hystix, a person i did not know but a lot of the lupin fandom did. A beautiful soul that was always supportive and kind. Everyone was mourning her. It was truly heartbreaking. I hope she is in peace. Our attempts matched in timing, it was actually mindblowing. Mine just fucking failed because of nosy neighbors. I feel so close to her in spirit still. That we both struggled so much that we came to the conclusion that nothing could save us. She did not have the nosy neighbors. That friend mourned her publicly.. on twitter. Ok. Logical, its a depressing, horrible and sad situation all around. All we can do is mourn. Still, it was a friend I was genuinely close to. That never showed the empathy they did to me. Hey dude so im kind of facing the exact same issues but you never reached out ? While my torment was there and documented on twitter because again. I did not fucking know wat was going on. I was in a strict mental ward under a lot of dosage from nurses who refused to give me insulin even thou i was type 1. Friend said that they tweeted at me. No mention of the years and years of discussions we had on discord and me checking up on them everytime they pulled out for severe family matters and i was genuinely concerned. Nope they aparently tweeted something at me. Okay. Thank you for the concern. Your investment really shows. Fallout 4

after that I stopped friends all together. The fact that friends I was talking nigh on everyday to each revealed their lack of concern for me during an extreme mental health crisis was abyssmal to say the least.

Fallout 5 came with Sheen. I was managing a charity zine for Palestine, and the lack of investment from so many artists brought me to the edge. I took it out on Sheen in the softest way possible. I told them I was disapointed in their piece and that it looked low effory. Sheen, a person I had knwon for the entirety of my investment in the lupin fandom, decided that an offense was enough to block me and never speak again. Once again i was on the verge of yet another blow out. And it happened. Lol. Its just so funny in retrospect that everytime I start acting weird alluding to a breakdown people shun me out despite, you know. me being clear abt my medical record. I realized that I was rude to Sheen and it was uncalled for. Apologized publicly not in the attempt that Sheen sees it but just so that everyone knows that if they hear abt the story, at least they know its all been my fault. Online friendships are so cool because it just takes the block button to burn bridges without coming back. With no chance of mending or at least a genuine apology. so Fallout 5

Is there a reason that all of these issues happened within one fandom ? I do think so. Unless i am incredibly unlucky. Or an abusive piece of shit unbeknownst to me. I think that the lupin fandom is surface level niceties. If they dont like you you will know. It will be passive but you will be muted and eventually just ostracized. You will not be invited in fandom events, or group discussions. It did not help that my mental health was constantly deteriorating and I started developping a persecution complex, thinking that people were making secret discords where they were telling others to avoid me or something. Ive endured all of this for one thing. One Humiliating thing : i love luzeni. I love it so much I want a tatto of it. I love it so much that after years before sleep I pick a random fic and then imagine their discussions. I love their dynamic so much. I love their romance I love how fucking inhinged they are i love that they hurt and love each other the same, i love that they cant live without the other, that they genuinely complete each other in a really ugly but complete patchwork of mental illness and really elaborate kinks.

I gave up thou. Another depression, I blew out, attempted again with the window, got caught and sent to the hospital. It pulled me back from the fandom. I realized i was allocating so much of my thoughts to it and how I could be better perceived, how I could make friends again to talk about the fictional thing i loved the most in the world. And I realized that in giving up and keeping to myself, that I could be more stable. That the damage was done and I cant really enjoy this fandom anymore, but Im still attached to the hip to luzeni and so in the words of a really brilliant man... Nah... Ill do my own thing.

U might be wondering why the hell is this bitch airing their laundry publicly. Its therapeutic. You dont have to read or care. If those friends see it, and make a comment of their own about how the events did NOT happen like I told, I would love to hear how they perceived it. I do not give my friendship freely and easily and these people have done profound damage to my abilty to trust. And most of all, I never had any closure. I kept rethinking, blaming them, then myself, then miscommunication, then them and then myself again. To this day I dont know why all of this happend. Did I act like an unfathomable monster, or did my friend simply not give a shit enough to help me through this. I dont fucking know and I cant deny either options. Maybe I am talking through a completely selfish wrapped sens of perception that is not to be trusted. I wouldnt be surprised. I have a very hard time relying on my own brain lately. My health is deteriorating very fast, and shit is getting worse.

The second reason is that I am going to be interned for psychiatric issues for the next 3 months. For the first time in my life I think Ill finally get all the professional support i need, available and close. Im not going to be investing any time in the fandom, if simply talking to the psychiatrist abt this catastrophic strings of fallouts. I might be posting some luzenis, but frankly i doubt it. I only make fanart when I am happy, or sad enough but still capable. Im neither right now. You are not entitled to any of these informations, but I just wanted to write them out of my mind because I have a LOT of baggage to go on through and this is an extra bag I dont need so im throwing it out.

You cannot gauge an entire fandom from your perspective, the same way you cannot gauge an entire userbase. No, tiktokers are not the worst people in humanity. Neither are reddit users. Being on tumblr is cool, but it doesnt make u better than being on twitter. And so this is only my opinion of the lupin fandom. I met some amazing persons that i wish the best for, for ever and ever, but in all the niceties and welcoming you might see, I dont think that extends to a person with mental illnesses that are villified, or out of their control. I can fairly say that my experience was disapointing, and I dont intend to rekindle anything. Ill just be on the fringe maintaining the spirit of luzeni alive because fuck you monkey punch these are my characters now by law.

If you read until this bro get a life. Also im joking, youv given me more consideration than most people i met have. If your take after this is that I am deranged, then youv read right.

Thank you for reading. This blog has always been a pleasure to post on, even my most cringe and embarassing shippy stuff. Ive been met with nothint but support, and I truly enjoy being here because of you. I hope this isnt a 3+ month long goodbye. I hope I draw my lovers again. But I cant guarantee anything. I wish you all health most of all, and love and compassion.

#evacuating emotional baggage through a long rant that you dont have to read #this post is for me and me alone really. i feel better after writing it. thou rverything is still catastrophic #there will be grace

34 notes · View notes

watchyourbuck · 2 days

Note

it's just to me a bad sign on how things will go moving forward especially if the buck/tommy ship doesn't go away come season 8 like you are all clearly thinking it will or if it does but they revisit it later. eddie isn't confirmed to be queer in canon yet, he might never be so what's the plan? shitting on the canon romances buck gets and/or patronizingly praising them as long as they serve buddie endgame?

babe you went on a TRIP. ok so im not sure which answer you want me to give you here. fandoms work in specific ways, and this fandom has always been primarily buddie. granted, up until 7x04 they only dated women, but alas, they havent dated each other is my point.

its only natural that people who ship buddie endgame may like to partake on Buck's newest relationship but only as a relationship bound to break to make space for buddie - because thats what they (or we, i guess) ship.

i dont know whats gonna happen next season, or god, this one, but i know ive never taken a shit on any of their partners unless they have done something wrong. never liked taylor bc she was so selfish and played dirty, but lucy and ana and shannon i never had any trouble with, i just didnt see them as that character's forever (and marisol i dont like bc of the actress, but we can get into that later).

thing is, people are gonna ship whatever they ship. you cant change that. im not exactly sure why you went on the bisexual tangent, but as a queer person i can tell you its got nothing to do with sexuality. my advice to you as a person who curates her fandom experience is to blatantly stay away from blogs, fics and fanons you dont enjoy. fandoms are optional, this is supposed to be something that you do in your spare time and love, so why go meddle where you know you dont feel comfortable?

personally, im riding both trains right now, and i enjoy fanfics in most of their forms, so im gonna write/read fanfics where tommy isnt his final love, or some where he is, or threesomes where they end up together (all of them), or where they dont. its fiction! it can vary and spiral and - you get it.

about canon queer eddie, its not something i have the power to decipher. if you follow me, or if youve seen my posts, you should know i think hes queer, but im not gonna go down that road right now bc technically, that doesnt matter for the question. if he never becomes canonically queer, then, well, sometimes we lose. not for that im gonna "shit" or "praise patronizingly" any of their love interestes as long as they are good people who make them happy, whatever gender they are.

#can yall agree on the asks dfghjkjhgf #this is like a 180 from the one i just answered #also this was a four part ask but im just gonna answer this one #911 #buddie #911 tv show #evan buckley #911 abc #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #911 on abc #bucktommy #tommy kinard

27 notes · View notes

korlkorl · 5 hours

Text

things that get azul, ruggie & sebek flustered

fic vomit uwu

azul

nothing. absolutely nothing. don't get him wrong, there are many things that you do to get him all flushed and embarrassed like the sweet cherry tomato you pop in your mouth. it's just that azul has never loved someone so much before, there is no way he can have a favourite, when you as a whole is his favourite thing in the entire world.

the way your eyelashes flutter when you blink; the slow motion of your chest heaving up and down— he finds all of them so loveable. he's on his knees for you, please be merciful, jade and floyd will never let him see the end of it. he already knows how shamefully he acts when he's around you, the inexplainable desire to want to see you gasp in surprise, impressed with whatever new thing azul wanted to show off. give him a kiss after and watch him freeze and heat up.

ruggie

oddly enough, what gets him flustered about you is when he does something. ruggie is someone who values his hard work and sufficiency. because of this, he doesn’t believe people do favors simply because of their nature. like him, he thinks everyone has a motive. somehow, that mindset is slowly starting to alter.

it wasn't much to begin with— he'd sometimes find himself swiping a little extra than usual, risking the possibility of being caught because he stole more than he should. for some reason, that little extra amount wasn't for himself as a cheeky reward, no. it was actually for you.

he'd casually hand some food to you on his way and sometimes, if he doesn't manage to get enough for the both of you, he'd always split it half if possible, much to his classmate's horror. (ruggie bucchi? THE ruggie bucchi?? sharing??? is this heaven????)

at a point, he realized what he was doing. it's completely out of character for him, what in the world was he thinking? but he was too deep now, he couldn't seem to live day by day without giving you a little gift at least once anymore.

eventually, ruggie went from nonchalantly giving you half of his donuts or letting you copy some of his work that you forgot to do to instead turning a deep hue of multiple reds (in the span of 0.2 seconds!) as he sheepishly handed you things. oh well, there's no turning back now.

sebek

he’d always found it off putting on how this magically gifted mother ever found herself in love with his average father, who was much more soft spoken and loving. He couldn’t seem to fully grasp how his mother ever saw any appeal in his father.

it was a ridiculous notion. someone as talented as her stooping for someone as low as him?! that's crazy! don't worry, sebek loves his father very much. but he's also strongly opinionated.

for someone who claims his opinions and ideals hardly change, they seem to sway as easily as they came when you entered his life. you were much sweeter, kinder and caring than sebek could ever be. he was hardly a spec of dust in your presence. maybe that's what tugged at his heart. you were average. there was nothing inherently special about you, just a normal human. to him, you were his god.

sometimes, when you cage his fingers against yours, lean your head against his shoulder and smile, sebek starts to wonder what has ever had happen for this to ever happen.

sebek is a lot of things. he's human, he's fae, he's a wizard and he's yours. he flushes in embarassment when he thinks about this. what did you do to him for him to be so hopeless around you? he turns red when he thinks about how easily you managed to change him.

a.n: hihi hope u enjoy... also dont forget to put some requests in my inbox!! i am running out of ideas... i just started working on a request and i think it's gonna be very long so im gonna let my inbox marinate so i can binge write all of them... i love writing...

#twst #twst x reader #azul ashengrotto #twst azul #azul ashengrotto x reader #ruggie bucchi #twst ruggie #ruggie bucci x reader #twisted wonderland ruggie #sebek zigvolt #twst sebek #twisted wonderland sebek #sebek x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader

38 notes · View notes

tildexart · 1 day

Note

You are so right you are so right about the female character!!!

Mina outsmarts Dracula. Coppola says "what if ehe never outsmarted him?"

One of the things that make Mina so special in the book is her innovation.

For example: Dracula keeps trying to destroy the evidence of his crimes, and relies on ignorance. So what does she do? She actively seeks and collects every single piece of evidence, and combined them like a damn Sherlock Holmes. Some refuse to share theirs, but she makes them (Seward) and then she types everything. To share with everyone who got targeted by that mysterious man, and thus expose him and his nature.

Coppola has Van Helsing have this idea.

Dracula later, in an angry retaliation, assaults Mina, in an attempt to make her his own minion. It's the most obvious rape metaphor you will ever read. Mina feels debased, dirty, fallen, but she chooses to reveal the truth, hunt him down, and fight for herself.

Coppola has Mina lie.

Dracula then sets all of Mina's work on fire. He wants to erase all her contributions. But it's for nothing. Because Mina was one step ahead and had typed everything in triplicate. And had locked the copies safely.

Coppola has Mina pine for him.

Dracula then escapes them, and no one knows where he's going. Until Mina tells Van Helsing to hypnotize her. She believes she can use the psychic link that Dracula forced between them in order to spy on her and to reverse it. It works.

Coppola gives the idea to Van Helsing.

I could go on for hours but you get what I mean. When Coppola, the musical, the tv shows, the spin off novels, decide to make Mina a swooning, destiny-bound damsel needing the touch of a real man to awaken her, he sets everything authentic and unique about Mina into the flames.

agreed! like i really dont have anything to add to this, this analysis is in-depth and explains her mischaracterization perfectly!

#dracula #bram stokers dracula

23 notes · View notes

footemoji · 2 days

Note

I’m having a hard time understanding a lot about this conflict. Today, in the USA (Chicago Illinois, San Francisco California, and in New York) Pro-Palestinian activists decided to block the bridges to prevent people from entering or leaving. As a result, people waited for a minimum of 5 hours before the bridge was completely opened for them to cross. I’ve been reading stories of people who were transporting stem cells, sick people, etc who weren’t able to make it out.

According to the protestors, their goal was to cause an “economic blockade” by causing everyone to not be able to go anywhere

Shockingly a lot of Palestinians were supporting this saying that inconveniencing Americans is a good way to bring light to the situation happening in Gaza. I’ve even had some say that the few lives that were lost because of this were “fine” because it’s for the cause. I don’t want to believe that everyone is this cruel, so I will give my thought generally speaking.

I’m not an expert on these things, I don’t know much so im just using logic. Joe Biden is not the supreme authority over Israel. So let’s say that the USA stops sending aid to Israel completely. Let’s say they cut ties. Where will the protesting end up then? Will it move to another country who may support Israel? The way I see it is, Israeli government is going to do what it wants to do whether America sends it money or not.

Secondly, why is it that Americans have to suffer for what we cannot control? Blocking the bridge did nothing for the people in control. They were comfortably in their homes, meanwhile working mothers and fathers lost job time because of this. People have children to feed. How is what’s happening in Gaza somehow the fault of innocent civilians?

This act today was just cruel and my heart hurt because of it. I in no way am turning a blind eye to the suffering of those in Israel, whether that be Israeli or Palestinian. But at some point we really have to think about where our actions will take us. I’m curious to know if anyone is sharing the same thoughts as I am. Again, I am not educated on the conflict to where I can speak confidently about it 100%, im just looking at this from a logical standpoint.

hi!! i’d love to try and explain but im not an expert i just can see whats right and whats wrong easily.

so protests are supposed to be seen so im assuming they did such an extreme act was to be noticed and to show the government the lengths they’re willing to go for this cause.

and the genocide in palestine is a HUGE cause. over 13,000 children have died. and 33000+ people in total. and the usa is funding the people committing the genocide, these protesters are trying to convince the government to stop funding israel’s mass killing.

it really goes to show that a couple people dying unjustly in america causes a bigger outrage than all the unjust deaths in gaza.

i dont get what you say that if the US stops funding israel nothing will change. A LOT WILL CHANGE!! the usa not funding israel will give them less power which is great!

Also, that last part i’d like to say. israel is not real. its stolen land from palestine. so don’t say “the suffering of those in israel” its the suffering of those in palestine.

#free palestine 🇵🇸#free gaza #free palestine

21 notes · View notes

24kmar · 3 days

Text

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 (𝐏𝐭.2 𝐨𝐟" 𝐈𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐀 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐚")

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Toxic!Fem reader x Matt Sturniolo

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: This takes place after the argument matt and y/n had. She finds herself wondering if what she did was right. This then leads to her self reflecting, then one night at an influencer party she went with tara (tara yummy) she sees matt. What happens when she realizes that he just wants to love her.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Reader is kind of a bitch 😭 but she redeems herself 🙏🏻, suggestive content, language, ANGST with a happy ending, toxic situationship, reader being in denial about loving matt, jealous matt, drugs(weed), MDNI, let me know if theres more!!

Readers perspective

I sighed as i shut the door to matts place. Why did he have to make this so difficult?. I made it clear this was just fucking when it started, so why now did he feel the need to make it an issue? I mean it was working so why not leave it that way, right? Dont fix whats not broken.

I didnt understand why he was being so fucking sensitive. 'Fuck this' i thought as i got into my car and drove out of the driveway. I really needed a blunt after this shit.

As i pulled into my driveway my phone buzzed, 'Fuck' i thought as i suspected it was matt. But no, it was... nick?

As i saw his contact appear on my phone, i opened our messages. To which read "Hey y/n/n did something happen between you and matt orrr?". What the actual fuck? "Why?" i texted back to which he replied "cause hes a fucking wreck in his room rn and hes not talking to me or chris" followed by "and his doors locked".

Guilt. Immediate guilt is what i felt when i read that. Did i really do this to him? Nah, couldnt have been me, i mean how much importance could a fuck buddy hold. Not much....right? Some days passed by as i heard nothing from matt.

Was this the end of us? For some reason that thought caused a pang in my chest. But why? "Heartburn or some shit' i thought, quickly dissmissing the thought and shoving it into to the back of my brain.

Tara had texted me begging me to come with her to some influencer party. ' Why not' i thought, god knows i needed it. Any chance at drinking and smoking i got right now i would take. After all thats happend with matt, i desperately need it.

I decided to wear this outfit to the party with boots. As me and tara got off the car as we arrived to the party, i realized how packed the house was. And loud as shit. Im gonna regret coming here.

I got a drink immediately as i got in the house. As tara ventured off into the house, i stayed in a corner desperately wanting to leave. Then some guy, brian, brandon, braydon? Some shit like that, came of to me. "Oh brother' i thought as this fuck boy walked over to me.

"What's good, im braylon." he said while smirking. Ick. I just shrugged looking away, not wanting to interact with this moron. "Cmon baby, dont be like that" he said tugging on my wrist. " yo back the fuck up" i hissed yanking my wrist out of his grasp. "Dont be a fucking bitch about it," he snarled "if you're gonna dress like a slut, dont be suprised when you get treated like one". Oh fuck no. "The fuck you just say to me" i scowled sizing him up. "I said-" he started, but getting cut off by Matt. "Back the fuck up, man." He said pulling me behind him while getting in between me and braylon.

"What? This slut your bitch?" He chuckled. Oh fuck. "Shit is about to go down" i thought as i saw matts jaw tense and his fists clench. "The fuck you just-" matt started as i cut him off. "Drop it matt, hes not fucking worth it" i said through gritted teeth getting nervous. "Yeah listen to your bitch" braylon continued as i sent him a warning glare. Feeling matt stepping closer to braylon, i grabbed him a pulled him back. "Matthew, fucking drop it, now" i said getting infront of him pushing him backwards then turning him around to walk infront of me as i pushed on his back to make him walk. Leading him to a secluded room in the house.

"Look, i know i fucked up with what i said. I shouldnt have done that and i get it if you're still mad at. I shouldnt have put you in that position-" he started. "Matt, im sorry" i cut him off, again. "What?" His brows furrowed.

"I shouldnt have said those awful things to you," i said taking a deep breath as i was about to confess to this kid "i was just fucking terrified at the fact that i may have been catching feelings" i said looking up at him, searching for any emotion.

"I am so fucking sorry-" i got cut of by a kiss. As he pulled away, we both starting laughing like fucking idiots. "You like me" he smiled like a middle school boy who just had his first kiss. "Shut up, i take it back" i laughed, rolling my eyes jokingly.

"Denial is a river in egypt babe" he shrugged. "Oh fuck you" i laughed shoving him.

Its safe to say, we weren't just fuck buddy's anymore. Maybe this wasnt a bad idea.

#☆𝐒𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡☆#💭𝐒𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐜𝐬💭#matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo angst #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets x reader #Spotify

24 notes · View notes

theerurishipper · 3 days

Note

how would a redemption arc work for azula? because like you said, azula isn't even close to the realization that she was wrong. what kind of major event would it take for azula to realize her genocidal ideals were wrong? how would zuko react to her change? because I dont want zuko to accept it right away for obvious reasons.

I'm not exactly sure how a redemption arc would work for Azula. I much prefer her the way she is in the show, a tragedy to illustrate how being abused can sometimes turn you into an abuser yourself. If she were to have a redemption arc, it should be away from anyone' influence. Away from Ozai, because obviously, and away from Zuko as well. I think it would be good way to illustrate how a victim does not have to help their abuser, and it would give Azula the opportunity to find herself without exacerbating her inferiority complex when it comes to Zuko. I feel like if he was always around to help her, she'd learn nothing about personal responsibility. Even Iroh didn't help Zuko when it really came down to it, and Iroh wasn't even Zuko's victim in the way that Zuko is Azula's. But anyway, I'll give it a go.

Maybe I'd have Azula travel around the world, learning more perspectives kind of like Zuko did. I do think it would be harder for her to do than it was for Zuko, but I think being forced to confront the world and every perception of it that she's had would help her on the road to becoming a better person. The same way Zuko did, she should go on a journey by herself, having to struggle to find food and shelter, struggling to get by. She once thought she was so capable, so powerful, but she's struggling. She put all her value into being the best firebender, a prodigy, a raw talent that she was born with, the divine right, but she can't see any of that now. Her natural firebending isn't coming to her aid here. It doesn't bring her food, it doesn't bring her shelter, and it doesn't bring her any help. She's so hungry and tired... she can't even firebend that well at all, can't conjure up her flames as strong as they used to be.

It's almost as though her skill, her expertise in fighting with fire... isn't as important or useful as she thought. It doesn't matter as much as she thought it would. It leads to her needing to reevaluate everything she knows, because if what she believed was most important really isn't... then what is important? What makes her worthy, what makes her special?

And when she comes across people who are suffering the same way she is, instead of scoffing at them and dismissing their pain like she once would have, she sees herself in them, and she understands them. And she also begins to understand that her father, and she by extension, did this to them. It sits wrong with her, now that she knows what it feels like. She's already beginning to realize that maybe her divine right isn't all that she thought it was, but she clings onto it anyway, because it's the foundation of her worldview, and without it she has nothing.

Azula keeps on travelling, she meets more and more people. I think it should be the Earth Kingdom that she travels in most, because it's where she caused the most damage to the people, it's the place she wanted to burn to the ground, and now she's forced to travel there.

And then maybe, on her travels, she stays with a family one day, who let her in out of the goodness of their heart. She scoffs at them for being so weak, so naive, but she's tired and hungry and has nowhere else to go. While she's staying there, she happens upon a scene where one of their kids is getting hugged by their mother, getting a kiss on their forehead or something, and she can't help but remember her mother doing that to her, and she can't help but remember that her father never did. And her mother was weak, and her father was is powerful, but... the kid looks so happy. And so was she, back then, when her mother showed her she loved her. But she didn't love Azula. She didn't.

But did she? Could it be that she really did love her?

Azula runs away from them in the middle of the night.

Because sure, it's a worthless display of affection, so far removed from power and fear and everything her father taught her to be, everything she strove to emulate. And they're just Earth Kingdom peasants, after all, what would they know about who she is and what she's destined for? But she can't help but think about the joy in that child's eyes, the loving way his mother looked at him, like how her mother used to look at her, how she used to feel so special when her mother stroked her hair and gave her a kiss on her forehead. Even Azula can't mistake what the look in that mother's eyes were. And if it reminds her of her mother... was her father wrong? And if he were wrong about that... what else could he have been wrong about? Her, raw talent, her divine right which she's already questioning?

And those people... they had no power. They had no money, no glory, no superior bending ability, but... they were so happy. And as long as she can remember, her family wasn't. Of course, maybe that was Zuko's fault for being so weak, her mother's fault for being so weak, her uncle's fault for being so weak... but this family has nothing, nothing like she did, and they're still so loving, so happy. And she still can't shake her faith in her father entirely (though it already began, back during Sozin's Comet), but... maybe, just maybe, somewhere deep in her heart, she's forced to admit that maybe she would liked this a lot better. Her father never did this... but maybe he should have.

She keeps travelling. Some people help her, some turn her away. She understands both of them. She would turn away anyone who came to her for help. They never were worth her time. But now she's on the other side, the one in need of help. And the people who help her, once she would have called the naive and weak and foolish, but they are the ones who help her stay alive, who she depends on. She's starting to realize who the better person is, between these two. When it comes down to just being a person, stripped of wealth and power, who it's better to be. Her father always said these things to her, and she believed it for the longest time. She did everything she could to be on his right side, to be like him, to be better than her brother... but ultimately, in her time of greatest need, none of it matters. What's really helping her is kindness, is compassion, the things she derided and scoffed at. In the fact of the harsh reality, she has to admit that her father is wrong. She can't deny it anymore.

Maybe she happens upon a refugee camp at some point, and she sees these people suffering, with nothing. She used to believe that weakness led to your own suffering, and that it would never happen to her. Zuko brought his fate upon himself, after all. Iroh lost his son because of his weakness. Her mother was sent away because she was too weak. But Azula sees these people, there people who have nothing because everything they had was burnt away. She would have blamed them too, but she's also spent so long feeling helpless, realizing that when it comes to the world outside the confines of her majestic royal palace filled with luxury and comfort, that not everyone has that kind of power, even her. Especially not her. And she knows, just as surely as she knows that she wanted the fire that destroyed their homes to be lit, she knows in the depths of her mind and heart that this is their fault. The fault of her father, and her own. Just like what happened to Zuko was her father's fault.

And they still help her, believing her to be one of them, someone who has been hurt by the Fire Nation like they have. And for the first time, she feels that she doesn't deserve their help. She doesn't deserve their kindness. She's horrified by the true reality of her actions and their consequences, horrified by what she's done.

And then maybe someone recognizes her. And then people are drawing weapons and trying to defend themselves. They all come together in hatred for her. In fear of her. It's what she's tried to achieve for so long, to subjugate these people, to rule them, to make everyone fear her. But she sees them come together, fearing her, and she only feels sick. There are children crying, somewhere, and for a second, she sees Zuko in his place, crying, half of his face burnt off-

She runs. She can't deal with this. Some people chase her, trying to take her down, because they're so afraid of her. She's never truly been confronted with such raw hatred before. She thinks of all the children, with burns on their skin, and thinks of Zuko, his face burning, and she thinks of how she had smiled. She thinks of her father, teaching her all sorts of falsehoods about power, and worthiness, and how she knew, she did, that it would only last as long as it pleased him. She thinks of that family, happy and loving, and how much better it seemed compared to her own family. She thinks about how so many other families have been the same way. She thinks about how even the people in this camp, who are so hurt and powerless, were ready to fight her to protect their family.

She thinks about her mother, who was the one who really loved her. Realizing her father was wrong also brings about the realization that she was wrong about her mother. That her mother was trying to protect her. From her father. The man who would burn the face of his son, all because he wouldn't fight his father. Who treated Zuko like he was worth nothing because he couldn't bend as well as her. Who treated her like she was worth something only because she could bend her fire better, the same bending ability that she's realized is ultimately meaningless, which doesn't matter when it comes down to the realest parts of the world. Who fed her lies and treated her like a tool, because he saw her as a weapon, not a daughter. He never looked at her the way her mother did. With love. He just wanted to use her, and he cast her away when he was done with her. Just like he did with Zuko. She wasn't special, she wasn't born lucky, she was just more convenient, and he used her and discarded her like a cheap toy.

And she has to admit, that fear isn't the answer. She's seen people now, people who are more afraid of her than anyone has ever been before. They should be running away. But they don't. She thinks about these people, who she thought were weak, but really, they are stronger than her, because even in the face of fear, they fight. Because they have love, and that's always been more powerful. Just like Zuko. Like Mai and Ty Lee.

Her mother wouldn't have done what her father did. She would have helped Azula. She tried so hard to. Her brother tried too, as she fought him and relished in his pain. So did her uncle, while she spurned him and wished him dead. So did these people, even though she wanted to burn them to the ground not so long ago. Her father was well on his way to do it. Burn down their homes, kill these people, some of whom are her age too. And she suggested it, she wanted to be by his side, like it was some game, some glorious quest.

Her father is a monster. So is she. She's always laughed it off, believing her mother thought that about her, and trying to pretend it didn't matter. But it does. Now it does. She's always known all this, somewhere in the depths of her mind, her mother's teachings had left a mark, but she can no longer run from any of it anymore. It's the truth. She's a monster, and for the first time, she feels remorse. She can no longer hide behind her belief of superiority, of her divine right to rule. She feels guilt, the way she did on that day, before she lost everything she once thought mattered, when her mother looked at her and said I love you Azula. I do.

From then, she keeps travelling. She tries to avoid people. She doesn't dare face anyone, for fear of what rejection she might face, especially because she now knows she deserves it. She doesn't deserve their help or their support. Not these people, not Zuko or Mai or Ty Lee or her uncle or her mother. And as she's going on like this, she sees some people one day, shivering in the cold, trying to light a fire and failing. She's also cold, so she lights a fire. But the fire in her hand is blue, like ice, too hot, too much. So, for once, she stops focusing on making her flames the hottest they can be. The flame in her hand cools down, and now it's a warm yellow glow. And then she actually feels warm, not just on the outside but in her heart as well. And she looks at these people, and she knows how they feel. She knows what she'd want someone to do for her if she were in their place. So, she lights their fire with a flick of her wrist. They don't see who she is, they don't even notice her. For all they know, they managed to light it themselves. But they look so happy, so content, so warm. Because of the fire. And she didn't even use it to fight. Her fire is helping people, making them happy. Maybe it's not just good for fighting.

Just like her.

She knows in her heart that this is what her mother would have wanted. Her mother who was right all along. So, she goes on doing this, secretly helping people. Lighting their fires, their torches. It's small, but it clearly means a lot to people on cold days and nights. And they never notice her. But she's surprised to find that she doesn't need or want the attention anymore. Just the fact that she helped makes her feel the warmth she thought respect and power would get her.

And so, she doesn't just help with her fire. She tries to learn new ways to help. She tries to learn how to treat wounds, especially burns. And she finds so much more fulfillment in this simple work than she ever did in plotting against her brother and planning to burn down the Earth Kingdom. And it's not even just because of her mother's words anymore. Her mother was right. This is something she wants. She still struggles sometimes with doubts about if she's wrong now, still struggles with feelings of resentment and anger towards the people she knows don't deserve it. She still feels small when she thinks about her father, about what he'd think if he saw her like this, even though she's realizing he doesn't matter. But she's getting better. She feels better than she's ever felt.

And then she ends up in Ba Sing Se, and then Zuko is there. With Iroh. And the Avatar and his friends. Zuko spots her. She runs. Zuko chases her. She didn't mean to run into him, but he's coming after her. Zuko confesses that he was worried about her, that he's been looking for her. And she's shocked that he would, even after everything. Because even now, she can still see the wariness in his eyes, the slight nervousness in his posture, the way his friends stand tall behind him, making less of an effort to look concerned, even though they don't look completely antagonistic.

So Azula does the one thing she's always been running from, something she knows she has to do but has never been able to. Admit to her mistakes. Apologize. She still wants to run, but Zuko is here, he's been looking for her, and he's worried about her. She would have felt, and a part of her still feels, anger towards Zuko, still blames him unfairly. But she's grown to recognize it for what it is. And so, she says to him I'm sorry, the first time she's said the words and truly meant it. He looks shocked, but then smiles, and says I forgive you.

But she can see he doesn't, not really. She can see now, how much he loves her, how much wants her to get better, how much he appreciates her sincere apology. How much he wants to forgive her. But she can still see the doubt, the pain and fear in his eyes that she caused. She can see the resentment and the hurt. She's not blind to it anymore. So she says, no you don't. And when he steps forward, tells her to stay, Azula, I don't want to lose you, she tells him that it's best for the both of them if she leaves. And maybe one day, she'll come back, when she's become better, enough to truly begin to make up for what she's done to him, and he can truly forgive her. And he smiles, and says good luck.

So Azula goes off to do more good things and learn to heal herself and find her worth, and then they meet and can actually be a decently stable family again. Or not, YMMV.

Thank you for your ask!

#ATLA #Avatar: The Last Airbender #Avatar The Last Airbender #Zuko #Azula #Ursa #Ozai #Iroh #Mai #Ty Lee #ATLA Azula #ATLA Zuko #Asks #So yeah #This got longer than I thought #It just sorta got away from me

24 notes · View notes