#My life doesn't matter

[schrodingers-blursed-kitty]

I'm gonna die alone and unloved and there's nothing I can do about it

#I'm so tired #God's forgotten abut me #my life doesn't matter #I'm just me and that's never been good enough for anyone

[shorthaltsjester]

the mighty nein - critical role

this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.

#also with softer vibes. i offer They #every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit #the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family #also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9. #when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them #i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake. #the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor. #a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp #also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees. #the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay. #ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video. #crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives #as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes. #and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met. #rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed #posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc. #general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts #which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth. #critical role #the mighty nein #cr2 #caleb widogast #caduceus clay #jester lavorre #fjord #veth brenatto #yasha nydoorin #beauregard lionett #mollymauk tealeaf #my posts

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

A reminder that Spinner canonically compares himself to Dabi and feels inferior to the rest of the League of Villains.

Part of the reason he allowed AFO to manipulate him is because he wanted to be reliable, as in he wanted to be stronger to be of use to Tomura. So again, he's canonically kinda jealous not only of Dabi's quirk, but of him as a person.

#as much as I'd like to joke about how Spinner is sooo gay for Tomura please acknowledge that this is a critical point in Spinner's character #him feeling unworthy or inferior comes from the discrimination he has faced all his life #he doesn't value himself like he should #and since Tomura is the person who has showed him the most that he matters exactly like he is #Spinner ended up sacrificing everything to save the one friend that has offered to destroy the world for him #AFO did all of that deliberately to break Spinner btw #He saw Spinner's loyalty to Tomura and used it against them #AFO can't allow someone who loves Tomura to be whole and safe #he's like a bad kid with a toy #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #league of villains #lov #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers #spinner #shuichi iguchi #dabi #touya todoroki #toya todoroki

[sophsicle]

time is so fucking scary. because it does not care if you are happy. you will think I wish to stay like this, right here in this moment. i have found my place. but then time comes like a wave and pushes you forward. you cannot stay. and neither can the people you love. forward forward forward. time has ripped the claws from my hands, and the teeth from my mouth, as I have tried to cling to yesterday. but you must move forward forward forward. Forward forward forward. Forward forward forward. Forward forward forw—

#i recently went back to the place in which i was happiest in my life #and it has changed and doesn't look the same #and doesn't belong to me anymore #and quite honestly nothing aches quite like knowing #that no matter what i do i can never go back #that even if i stayed it would have all gone away anyway #that i had to move forward #and i had to let go of the things that made me happy #because time wouldn't stop #soph rambles

[wasyago]

don't need to tell me to draw joel in a dress twice

#he doesn't exactly look like joel but that doesn't matter #new life smp #smallishbeans #my art #sketch

[jewishbarbies]

this women's day i'm thinking about all the women and girls who were tortured and killed for the crime of being jewish within reach of hamas, those that survived but were taken hostage to continue being tortured, every single woman who will never get true justice for what was done to them. the infants that will never see adulthood.

and i'm thinking about all the western women who cheered.

#g talks #antisemitism #happy women's day unless you're jewish #then you're life doesn't matter #depending on how useful you are to american leftists #and what other causes they deem important #'but palestine!!' yes i'm thinking about the people in gaza #keep that shit off my posts #i'm tired #mine #/mobile #/okay to reblog #<- obnoxious goyim are getting blocked

[insomnya777]

boat boys coded

#....does this make sense #it does in my head #lovers lane. dead end. #aka double life #they know it won't lead anywhere #in the long run it will only end in pain #whether it ends in a screaming match or just one too many empty promises — it doesn't matter. it still ends either way #and that's the part that really counts #but they don't do anything about it because what is there to do? your only option is to live the story #even if you know how it ends #so they go along with it #what other choice do they have? #they fall in love and they kiss and they kill and they do it all together. they follow lovers lane all the way until the end of the road #until they can't deny it anymore #their time is up #double life is over #they're running on borrowed time - delaying the inevitable #it's a dead end #and it was always going to be #and somewhere in between they may have convinced themselves that it might be different #(it's not) #(it never is) #IS THIS ANYTHING GUYS... #maybe i'm just insane #nya talks #hermitblr #trafficblr #joel smallishbeans #boat boys #smalletho

[theminecraftbee]

on the one hand, jimmy gets his rancher back in this crossover. his tango. it's clearly very exciting for both of them. the one guy who won't bully him mercilessly for no reason. that guy.

on the other hand, jimmy's personal demon from hell has arrived on the empires smp straight from his nightmares into reality.

i'm not sure if he's come out on top,

#empires spoilers #hermitcraft spoilers #empires smp #jimmy solidarity #ITS SO FUNNY HOW HE REACTS TO GRIAN #i think my new canon here is that grian is just jimmy's Personal Demon #it doesn't matter what life jimmy is on or what he remembers. he knows grian. he knows grian SUCKS #hence his reaction being with such deep horror #The Horror Is Here Now

[laufire]

"batman is first and foremost about rehabilitation and the possibility of redemption for everyone-" is he. is he really, though. when he clearly believes "criminal" is some personality trait divorced from circumstances and goes around calling goons "scum" and acts as if killing once, even under extreme circumstances that are not at all their fault, taints someone forever?

#see: when he finds out cass was made to kill once as a child #he's witnessed cass's current reverence for life and yet he has a fucking meltdown about it because ''she *was* perfect'' #and that's just one example. #like canon is extensive. there are examples for anything and what you cherry pick to read will influence what you believe #the truth of the matter is that the bulk of what *i* have read shows me this lol #like even in comics where he touts this line some of it (his classism and utter disdain regarding criminals for one) still shows #(often in reflection of a writer's values for sure) #and i can reconcile it as... change is something he WANTS to believe is possible. he TRIES to believe it. but he doesn't. #but i can't agree this is his core #there's also the fact that even if it was he'd often display unbelievable carelessness towards rogue's victims due to it #but that's a whole other topic #and this is all something he teaches to those under his tutelage btw. this is something all bats follow to some extent #talking to the void #my thoughts #dc #dc thoughts #dc comics #bruce wayne #i might be opening a can of worms with this one but i needed it off my chest lol

[uncanny-tranny]

One of the great things about fiber arts (at least to me) is that... you outright own the things you make. It's hard for me to comprehend actually owning something, and that's that. The item you have created doesn't need to come with strings attached (pun intended).

In a world where you are constantly buying things but not owning any of it, truly, it's such an odd experience to actually have ownership of your labour, time, and love like that.

#art #fiber art #crochet #honestly that's how i feel with my blanket still #like i don't own my subscription to spotify or the games i virtually purchased fullprice (which. why)... #...but when i get my yarn and i use the crochet hook i have been abusing a little i OWN the things it and i make #that's honestly kind of intimidating to me because i haven't truly felt i owned anything. like not even my life. it's a problem. #i just got some pretty yarn to use for a cardigan. they told me to use acrylic but i can't wear acrylic and i like cotton #<it's insane that i can just Decide to not use the pattern recommendations. like that's still crazy to me #anyway fuck capitalism and adopt a craft if you can #it's SUCH a freeing experience and it will make you feel crazy once you know what it feels like to actually own your labour. lol. #like it doesn't matter WHAT craft it is. could be knit. could be wood burning. could be abstract car manufacturing... #...as long as you can do it safely to your standards and you are satisfied and fulfilled with it then it can change you. let it change you.

[wobblyjellyfish]

if i had a nickel for every time a guy watched his alien robot boyfriend die in front of him saving his life, and was then able to pilot said boyfriend's body to defeat the big bad and save the world from certain decimation because the bond they share is so strong, i would have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weIRD THAT IT'S HAPPENED TWICE

(sequel to this post)

#bang brave bang bravern #yuuki bakuhatsu bang bravern #bravern spoilers #transformers #transformers rotb #maccadam #bravern #ao isami #mirage #noah diaz #still don't know the ship names but that doesn't matter because #WHICH ONE OF YOU ON THE PRODUCTION TEAM WATCHED ROTB. WHO WAS IT. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THE ANSWER IS NOBODY #I AM LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND. WHAT A SERIES. CYGAMES I OWE YOU MY LIFE #BEAUTIFUL SHOWSTOPPING BREATHTAKING INCREDIBLE #TO ALL MY FRIENDS (ESPECIALLY THE TF ONES). GO WATCH BRAVERN RIGHT NOW. PLEASE

[bonefall]

tall shadows line of "she was only a kittypet" kinda reminds me of the line "they were only slaves" from the prince of egypt.

What kills me about it is that like, at that point in the movie, the Pharoah Is Bad. Him saying that a billion babies where fed to crocodiles is A Bad Thing. It's the point where Moses realizes he can't be part of the royal family without being complicit.

But Tall Shadow says "calm down, Bumble was less than human anyway" and Gray Wing nods along (complete with the jiggly clicking noise that comes with shaking a can of spraypaint) and this is an example of them being reasonable. Level-headed, even, not getting swept away by the passion of the angry mob.

There are so many levels to how fucked up the Bumble Debacle is that you can't explore every floor all at once. It is an onion. It has layers.

#I don't take potshots at liberals too often but like. I have to here #Because GOD they are bad at defending their positions #They can't defend nonviolence because they don't actually believe in it #They believe in STATUS QUO #They're not antiracist. They're just pro-decorum and being racist/xenophobic/bigoted is rude #Very very rarely do they reach their position through introspection and thinking through their beliefs #So you see it in their art. #Unable to examine WHY bigotry is bad or what's so insidious they just repeat it #Or try to justify it #She was too fat/useless/not part of Our Bonds and thus her life is lesser #And thats why they have the theme of predestination making everything forgivable imo #And it not actually mattering what you did #It's the ultimate status quo. Change doesn't ACTUALLY happen because of people or our actions it's all just fate. #And this ironically makes them very susceptible to smooth-talking fascists #...also my lover told me im Bumble's Lawyer and made me an AA style talk sprite so I've got that going for me now

[ecoamerica]

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[blujayonthewing]

#I've played with irl atheists and catholics and everything in between #but it rarely feels like faith is a real factor for anyone-- DM or player #outside of‚ again‚ divine spellcasters and Big Epic Plot Things #I mean there are a couple of 'RAAAHGH FUCK THE GODS >:C' edgy backstory types but #no one is just Normally Culturally Religious and it's WEIRD #like it's not even a matter of faith in dnd! the gods are LITERALLY OBJECTIVELY PROVABLY REAL #so what does that MEAN for the average person! how does it shape language? business? culture? #where are the people wearing holy symbols like amulets-- or the way modern christians very casually wear crosses? #blessings over meals? prayers before bed? burnt offerings? #and like I enjoy thinking about world and culture building but I know that's A Whole Thing but even just like... #it doesn't feel like anyone believes in gods at all except clerics and paladins #like they DO because they factually exist but in the same way I 'believe in' like. the president of france. #like yeah he exists and is important to some people but has no bearing on my life whatsoever #that's such a fucking weird approach to the DIVINE in a polytheist world where those gods are YOUR CULTURE'S GODS?? #I am bad at this myself but I'm not religious so it's harder for me to remember what Being Religious All The Time Casually is like lol #funny enough my character with the most intentionally religious background in this sense #is one of my ones who's ended up wrapped up in Big Plot God Things lmao #'aubree starts the campaign with a holy symbol of yondalla because of course she does why wouldn't she' #'oh okay well she's gonna get deeply and personally entangled with a bunch of death gods immediately' fdkjghkdf oh!! welp #you don't really pray to urogalan unless you're breaking ground for a new building or someone just died so it's STILL weird for her lol #but at least I had the framework there of 'oh yeah the gods exist and matter to me and my everyday life and culture' in general #about me #posts from twitter

[sleepy-aletheas]

What is with Hoyo and their fascination about self-destructive blond men with dead fathers and their ridiculously buff academic boyfriends with unconventional methods of care that will pull the blond on a path of self-realization? I mean, I'm not complaining, I need fifty more of these, thanks. But it's so funny that there are two pairs of these types of characters, that just compliment each other perfectly.

Also I'm itching on ranting about the similarities between Kaveh/Aventurine and Alhaitham/Ratio, but also Kaveh/Ratio, that I might go insane if I bottle it up for too long. (I wonder if I could find something to observe through an Alhaitham/Aventurine lens probably)

#haikaveh #aventio #emotionally devastating pretty men my beloved #i fell back into the star rail rabbit hole only because of aventurine #i feel alive and absolutely devastated. 10/10 i need more of whatever this is #i played through penacony plot of 2.0 and 2.1 in one day and i've been spiraling ever since #my therapist will be so confused about me babbling about meaning of life and i'm so excited #when i get to the “the answer doesn't matter. but its existence does” i wonder how many callbacks to my previous babbling she could make

[coquelicoq]

when you're the only person who keeps living through the time loop, the people around you cease to be people and become mere characters. your treatment of them doesn't matter because they're not real and they won't remember. the only way to give anything meaning is to end the loop; their actions don't affect the loop and therefore are meaningless. you're the only one who has the ability to change the future, so anything you do in service of that goal is justified.

but. kim dojka looks at yoo joonghyuk and says no, actually, these characters are people. whether they remember or not is beside the point because they are real right now. and you don't give your life meaning by achieving some accomplishment that retroactively makes everything that came before worth it - you give your life meaning in the living of it.

#'meaning' isn't a reward you get for clearing a scenario...it's something you actively create every day as you make a life #kim dokja: it's WORTH IT! i know it's worth it because we are making it worth it!!!!! #ohhhhh waoaohhohh getting a transmission to my brain...suddenly feeling the urge to rewatch palm springs (2020) #time loop fiction is sooo fucking potent like ok you can read about this person who alone out of everyone has agency #thereby alienating them from all their fellow creatures...but watch out #orv #time travel #agency #existentialism #kdj #yjh #omniscient reader's viewpoint #my posts #f #also the fact that it's kim dokja - the 'reader' - who's creating meaning...sorry excuse me. there is something in my eye. #and this is coming from the guy who is very much committed to reaching the end of the scenarios! that is very much his goal #and what he's working toward. but the meantime is not something to get through. it's life and he's choosing to live it #he's like maybe this is fiction maybe we're all characters but it doesn't matter because the story is real to the people living it #his whole thing is that he refuses the idea that the story is unchangeable. he refuses the lack of agency #he's like well i will just make my own story. i will make my own meaning #and if there's some author out there that i'm the character of well good luck keeping up with me. mwah

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

#silly hours #I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd #Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao #they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of #Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind' #and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life' #toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned' #and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit' #girl hWHAT #Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants #to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!! #Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies #They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted #He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok #He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be #because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that #Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt #+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow #realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??' #now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader. #and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat #you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play. #You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here #And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship #and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there #you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad #anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay #And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe