#Maybe get me to some early emo band concerts

[koqabear]

Hiii congrats on 2k sol obsessed with everything you write!!!!💓 Could I request revisiting emo boy? Like what their relationship is like after and dates and how sex is like? Maybe beomgyu’s band really blows up and he’s quite busy, how does oc respond to this? And with smut? Tysm!!💝

playlist // beomgyu's encore outfit hehe // cont. of hey emo boy!

 “The day of your one-year anniversary with Beomgyu was expected to be spent away from each other— but not if either of you can help it, far too in love to let anything get in the way of you two.”

bassist!beomgyu x fem!reader // wc: 6.6K (everyone stfu rn) // genre: band au, opposites attract trope, established relationship, smut, tooth rotting fluff tbh, MDNI.

warnings: they are in love and it’s fucking GROSS!! barely edited, the two have hella piercings hehe (bg: snake bites, tongue, eyebrow // mc: smiley & nipple piercings) pet names (sweet thing, pretty, etc.) use of the L word bc they are literally obsessed w/ each other.

smut warnings: hard dom! gyu, sub!mc, needy sex sorry 😖, marking, manhandling, dry humping, biting, breast play, possessiveness, unprotected sex, bg picks the mc up, scratching, dacryphilia, dumbification, a lot of kissing lol, degrading, slight praise, fingering, creampie, cum eating…? lmk if i should add anything !

Notes: happy (late) birthday to the fic that’s probably my peak… this story single handedly changed the course of my blog me thinks. thank you to everyone who was just as affected by emo gyu as i was. 

Being in a committed relationship with Choi Beomgyu, bassist of Tomorrow x Together and an absolute unattainable heartthrob, was not very easy. 

It was at first; with their blossoming career, it was more about the music than their looks. Fans were loyal simply because they liked their sound, their message, the way their concerts were filled with such energy and passion it left their hearts beating with adrenaline after— but of course, it’s hard to not notice the absolute eye candy on stage; low-lidded gazes, dark stage lights that barely highlighted their stunning features, and clothing that was just as alluring and flattering as the rest of them; inevitably, their popularity sky-rocketed, for better and for worse. 

Beomgyu was left with more money than he knew what to do with. Most of the time, it was used to spoil you, his pretty girlfriend he brought with him everywhere because he was just too obsessed with you— it made his band members wonder if he simply had attachment issues by how much his world revolved around you. But no, you were just as bad as him; present during rehearsals, always in the studio to cheer them on or give them a second opinion on a new song; it wasn’t long before you ended up befriending the rest of them as well, a tight bond forming simply because of all the things you went through together. 

As unfortunate as it was, they weren’t the only ones forced to bear with negative and hateful encounters from the public; while they had their experiences of being mistreated early in their career, you had to deal with immature or creepy fans that had taken a liking to harass you— inboxes on all social media platforms flooded constantly, your number even leaked once as you were forced to buy a new phone all together from how badly you were being spammed— Beomgyu had been quick to lash out and tell them to leave you alone if they didn’t want a lawsuit on their hands. 

Overtime, they adjusted to their popularity. Schedules slowly became filled to the brim, their dream now a reality as they spent months on tour— and while you were more than happy and proud of them and their flourishing career, it’d be a lie to say it was all one happy and perfect life. 

You hadn’t seen Beomgyu in ages— decades, centuries, eons— in other words, two weeks. 

The band had more interviews and performances than you could keep up with; if they weren’t on some random talk show, they were at a photoshoot, getting interviewed for the next issue of a magazine you’d undoubtedly have on your coffee table the day it came out. Promotions, nights at the studio, it all added up— and before you knew it, your one year anniversary began to creep up, and all hopes to celebrate it properly dwindled down in your heart— but, having him here with you today was enough. 

You didn’t blame Beomgyu; you weren’t angry or upset, because it was simply something neither of you could control. And though it did suck knowing you wouldn’t be able to spend such a meaningful day together, it felt a little better to know that you weren’t the only one hung up on it. 

On the contrary— you think Beomgyu might be handling this worse than you. 

“Baby, baby please,” he cries, refusing to let go of you and cuddling closer to you instead, a mess of tangled limbs and blankets as he cups your face fondly, “pleaaase I know you said I shouldn’t feel bad but please come on tour with us this week, I think I’ll seriously die if you’re not here this time.”

“Gyu, baby, I really shouldn’t—” you say quietly, only to get cut off by his excessive whining and teary eyes. His bottom lip is jutted out in a ridiculous pout, squeezing your cheeks and holding back a smile at the way your lips puff out as a result; you attempt to push him off you, only for him to retaliate by rolling entirely on top of you, a loud squeal escaping you at the feeling of his weight pressing you into the mattress, his stupid face hovering over yours as he continues to plead you quietly. 

“Pleaaseee?” he whines, pressing his flat palms against your cheeks and getting your lips to puff out again; he ignores your half-hearted protests for him to get the fuck off, choosing to punctuate his every word with a kiss instead, his piercings a sharp contrast to his plump lips that crash against you with every word. 

“Please?” kiss. “Won’t you,” kiss. “come with us?” another kiss. 

“Please. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease—” 

He’s practically suffocating you at this point, refusing to pull away and mumbling the words against your lips, laughs breaking between the two of you as you yell at him to get off, that you can barely breathe with him on top of you; you’re pushing at his shoulders weakly as he continues to tease you, your unabashed laugh contagious as he quickly finds himself smiling as well— he only pulls away once he hears you yell a loud fuck, okay! Hovering over you with bright eyes and a wide grin. 

His arms snake around your waist before he’s rolling over, successfully switching so that you’re the one on top of him— he ignores the loud and exaggerated sigh of relief you let out. 

“It won’t make much of a difference though,” you say quietly, hiding in the crook of his neck as you confess your doubts, “You’ll be too busy and exhausted the whole day, I really don’t want me to be added to your list of concerns.”

You went on tour with him, once— but you learned it was better off to not be anywhere backstage with him during those times, the boy too concerned and constantly doting on you to remain focused; any mistakes he made hitting much harder, a subconscious pressure to be perfect and give his all only trifolded by your presence.

“What? No,” he says immediately, sitting back on his elbows and causing you to look up at him in response; his brows are furrowed and he seems a bit baffled by your comment, shaking his head adamantly to emphasize his point, “I like having you there. I know you like being there, I want you there— I wouldn’t be asking you to come with me if I thought you were a burden.”

He managed to pull out the exact words you were trying to skirt around— your face heats up at his reassurance, much too intimidated by the intensity of his gaze as you bury your face into his chest instead; his chest bounces from the laugh he lets out, flopping onto his back once more and hugging you close, bodies pressed flush against each other and one of his legs thrown around your waist in a childish attempt to pull you even closer. 

“Plus, don’t you wanna visit Europe with me?” he asks, a teasing lilt to his voice as he feels you nod shyly; he knows just how much you enjoy the travel aspect to his career, constantly asking for pictures or to facetime while he’s gone, “I wanna show you all my favorite spots this time, and not through some glitchy facetime— I wanna spend time with you, sweet thing.”

“Ugh, shut up,” you groan, hitting his chest weakly as he simply laughs at you softly, “you’re so corny.”

“You love it,” he coos, rubbing a soothing hand up and down your back, biting back a smile at the way he can feel your breath even out— you remain silent. Partly because you’re falling asleep from his touch, and partly because he’s right. 

⤬⤬⤬ 

Europe is breathtaking— you’ve never been so grateful for Beomgyu’s stubborn, persistent mind. 

The tour has gone as perfect as always, spending a few days at their shows before you simply resigned to stay at the hotel instead; after seeing that Beomgyu was so distracted trying to look for you during a show that he missed his cue (and played the notes wrong to another song) you found it better to wait for him and see him after instead— ready to help him wind down and relax after another energetic, adrenaline-inducing show. 

Most nights consisted of you practically carrying him to the bathtub; cooing soft reassurance as he whined about how tired and sore he felt, shampooing his hair, massaging his scalp and tense shoulders— most of the time, he’d fall asleep then and there, and it’d be another hassle to wake him up and get him out. You’d lure him out of the tub and wait for him to change into your matching pajamas— hello kitty ones, his idea, not yours—  and greet him in the bed with a warm embrace and lips that peppered kisses all over his face.

It was during these moments you found humor in the contrast of his stage persona to his true self; from his usual attire, chokers and ripped clothes, wardrobe consisting of black and multiple piercings that decorated his ears and face, your thumb brushing over his newest eyebrow piercing fondly— versus the man that slept soundly in your arms now, long hair tied back and cute pink barrettes clipping back his bangs, donned in hot pink fuzzy pajamas— and you’re sure that if his band members saw him like this, they’d never stop teasing him. 

You didn’t have to wait long to confirm that thought; Beomgyu didn’t bother changing as he met up with the others in Yeonjun’s room for breakfast the next morning, tugging you along and remaining unfazed at the way his band members burst out laughing the moment he entered the room— you felt a bit bad at the way you found yourself laughing as well, even more so because you’re the only reason he’s found himself dressed like this. (But again, he was the one who bought these clothes in the first place.)

“Happy anniversary, you two,” Yeonjun muses, smiling at the way you’re the only one who seems to process that, chirping out a cheery thank you! as you proceed to drag Beomgyu to the couch, “I feel bad that we have a concert today, ___. As vomit-inducing as it is seeing you two, you do deserve to spend the day together.”

“It’s okay,” you immediately say, brushing his teasing comment off and holding back a smile at the way Beomgyu is still struggling to gain consciousness, more tired than you thought as he simply stares at his waffles for a moment before finally digging in, “at least he’s spending the day doing something he loves.”

“Gross,” Hueningkai says, scrunching his nose playfully before laughing at the glare you send him, “you two are so mushy, it’s painful.”

The rest of the day leading up to the concert is spent peacefully; once Beomgyu has gained enough coherence to fight back against the member’s jabs, he’s pulling you away to show you new sights and stores he discovered from his previous visits, spoiling you beyond belief and buying anything you look at for a second too long; you end up with more bags than you know what to do with, and Beomgyu refuses to let you carry a single one as he proceeds to take you one of his go-to restaurants, as he told you; saying he’s been wanting to bring you here since the moment he found it, smiling brightly when he sees you enjoying the food as much as he did.

To say he’s reluctant to leave you to go to the concert venue is an understatement; you think he might start crying at any given moment as he stares at you with shining eyes, unable to let go of your hand as he stands by the door of the hotel room— not quite ready to leave yet, but knowing that he must eventually as he chooses to bring you in for another slow, loving kiss instead. 

“Are you sure you’re not coming tonight?” he asks you, trying to hide the sadness in his voice and failing miserably.

“And make you fuck up your setlist? I don’t think so,” you try to joke, only to panic slightly at the way his eyes gloss over; your hand immediately jumps up to cup his face, laughing softly at his expression as he simply pouts at you ridiculously. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” you grin, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips before you lean over to his ear, voice dropping to nothing but a whisper as you let your lips brush against his ear, “I’ll have a nice surprise for you tonight, so you better give your best show out there, okay?”

The low lilt of your voice is enough to have him perking up immediately; mouth parted slightly as he stares at you, unsure of what else to do but nod pathetically, knowing he won’t be able to control himself if he thinks about what you might have in store for too long. 

With one last chaste kiss, he’s leaving— and only because Soobin was pounding at the door, telling him they’d be late if he didn’t go out this instant— you think he might start crying as he gives you one last pouty glance, waving to you sadly before he slips out the door. 

You’re left alone, the room suddenly much lonelier and quieter than it was a few seconds ago— and you laugh, checking the time and running to your suitcase to get your makeup and outfit for tonight. 

A revealing shirt, a mini-skirt that’s a bit alarmingly short— you’re pulling out a sparkling, pink outfit like it’s nothing, throwing it all on and doing your makeup as you check the time absentmindedly; your phone lights up while you’re in the middle of doing so, and a notification reads that the staff are waiting for you outside to take you to the venue once you’re ready. 

Beomgyu loves performing knowing you’re in the audience more than anything; it’s something he’s made blatant to you, knowing that despite his mistakes, despite his small distractions, his energy always goes out the roof the moment he spots you there. So you knew how distraught Beomgyu would be to hear that you’re not going to the show tonight despite being able to, but the thought of surprising him is much more enticing than you’d like to admit. 

With one last check of your appearance in the mirror, you grab a jacket before you go; Beomgyu’s favorite oversized zip-up, the clothing item a stark contrast to the rest of your feminine and bright attire— and you smile, adjusting the purse on your shoulder before you’re off to the hotel lobby, where the staff are waiting and ready to escort you safely. 

The venue is almost full by the time you get there; you’re escorted straight to your barricade seats front and center, smiling shyly and waving at fans that seem to recognize you; your face feels hot and you walk faster at the way they get excited at the sight of you, not used to the fame that comes with being Beomgyu’s girlfriend— hell, you really don’t know how Beomgyu does it. 

You’re more than relieved once the concert begins, any attention that still lingered on you immediately getting stolen by the boys that appeared on stage; you winced slightly at the loud screams all around you, unable to help the way you eventually joined in— morphing into another fan in the crowd, the venue much too dark for any of the boys to recognize you just yet. 

They looked stunning in their concert outfits; the professional, matching and dark outfits tailored perfectly to each member, intricate with chains and rosaries and pretty layers. Your eyes widen as you watch Beomgyu walk to his position, taking note of his hair that has now been dyed back to black— you hadn’t realized how long it’d gotten until now, the layers framing his face and falling into his eyes as he goes to push back his bangs with a delicate hand. 

There are no introductions tonight— the music begins immediately, loud and abrasive and making the crowd jump along excitedly, screaming the lyrics and reaching out to try and get one of the members to pay attention to them— on the contrary, you try to remain hidden, looking away and bowing your head every time Beomgyu’s gaze sweeps around your area. 

God, you wish Beomgyu didn’t turn into such a ditz whenever he spotted you in the audience— because then you’d be able to enjoy more of their concerts, addicted to the borderline euphoric feeling you get from attending them, only for it to be multiplied as your eyes catch onto your boyfriend performing, your heart pounding against your chest at the sound of his voice ringing out into the venue— a surge of pride and love fills you as a grin spreads on your face, and it isn’t until you notice a member walking around that you’re able to look away from him.

Looking up, you make eye contact with Hueningkai. 

His mischievous smile and raised brows are immediately returned with a violent shake of your head; telling him to not say anything to Beomgyu, rubbing your hands together pleadingly the moment he glances back at the said man— then he turns to you, sending you a playful wink before he’s off to another section, not without sending you one last teasing grin and a wave; you’re glancing at Beomgyu in a panic, unsure if he’s spotted you, only to be relieved at the sight of him too concentrated on playing to even look up at the crowd.

It isn’t until the encore that they’ve all begun to move around, (save for Taehyun and Soobin, bound to their instruments as they’re resigned to simply wave at the crowd when they can) changed into more comfortable outfits during a small intermission— Beomgyu is decked in baggy jeans and an equally baggy shirt, long hair messy and makeup smudged as he walks along the stage, smiling and waving at fans that reach out for him— he plays his bass so effortlessly as he does, truly mesmerizing as he stops a few times to interact with fans; the sight has your heart fluttering hopelessly. 

But the closer he gets, the more you’re buzzing with nervous energy. Gripping onto the barricade tightly, having stood up long ago with the rest of the fans that are eager to get their attention. Beomgyu’s eyes scan through the crowd thoroughly, smiling cutely and returning hearts until he spots you. 

He freezes entirely. 

He’s no longer playing bass— he’s just standing there, in complete shock as he stares at you. You can only muster to give him a sheepish wave, an uncontrollable grin on your face as you laugh at his dumbfounded expression, trying to yell at him to go back to playing. But he doesn’t, and you’re jumping slightly at the way he takes off his bass and jumps off the stage, security frantically following behind as he rushes over to you.

His hands are on your face and he’s pulling you in for a kiss quicker than you can process; you hear the screams of the crowd around you, but Beomgyu’s got you in his hold so tightly that you’re unable to pull away, left to give in and melt against him as he kisses you for a little longer. Your face feels as though it’s on fire by the time he’s pulled away, his own alight entirely with joy as he grins at you, your head still in his hands as he leans against the barricade excitedly— you think he might just jump over it any moment now.

“You’re here?” he says exasperatedly, eyes scanning you frantically as though he were imagining you, “why didn’t you tell me, you should’ve— I would’ve—”

“Beomgyu,” you cut him off, placing your hands over his and laughing at the way he can only stutter stupidly, brushing his hair behind his ear fondly— watching the way his eyes crinkle cutely as he smiles, your own sweeping over the array of piercings that decorate him, hello kitty earrings glinting under the light— and pry his hands off your face, ignoring the pout he sends you as you scold him instead. “Get back on stage!”

Your words seem to snap him out of his reverie; his head is whipping back to look at the stage, at the way his friends can only laugh at him teasingly and yell at him to get back here— the way Yeonjun yells directly into the mic is slightly embarrassing, shrinking at the way all eyes are on you as the man’s words ring out the venue— Beomgyu, get the fuck back here!

He’s only able to leave with one last chaste kiss— the crowd is screaming at the sight, and you’re resisting the urge to cover your face in weak hopes that it could take all this attention off you— but you’ll bear it, especially with the way Beomgyu mouths a cute I love you! before he’s jumping back on stage. 

The poor boy is unable to take his eyes off you for the rest of the night— but on the bright side, there are no missed cues or wrong notes played. He’s just entranced with you for the rest of the encore, his energy seemingly replenished with the way he jams out to the music; mouthing the lyrics even when it’s not his part, maintaining eye-contact with you during songs he knows you’re particularly fond of— and suddenly, the idea of spending his anniversary at a concert isn’t as depressing as it was earlier tonight— because now, he had you by his side. 

⤬⤬⤬

“Beomgyu— Beomgyu please, not here…” you whine, unable to do much but bite your lip and swallow back whines that threaten to escape you, left to Beomgyu’s mercy as he immediately led you to his dressing room after the show— the said man is much too focused on kissing and marking your neck to listen, soft hair brushing against your face as he pulls you flush against him; back pressed against the wall, arched prettily from the way his hands snake around your waist and press your lower half against his— you’re holding back a groan at the way he’s already hopelessly hard against you. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d be coming? Hmmm? Just wanted to be a tease? Was this your little surprise?” he asks, biting at your skin and huffing out a laugh at the whine that escapes you; your hands are gripping onto his shirt tightly, fisting it in your hands and wrinkling the material as he lets his teeth sink slightly near your collarbones, “god, you look so good tonight, you’d really expect me to be able to hold myself back?”

His hands are wandering down your waist; over the swell of your ass, fiddling with the hem of your mini-skirt before he’s venturing under it— feeling the way you shiver against him the moment his hands squeeze at the soft flesh, fingers decorated with rings cold against your skin as he comes back up to kiss you. It’s rough and desperate, lip rings scratching as he kisses you with such hunger it leaves you breathless; he grinds his cock desperately against you, eliciting a small gasp from you and allowing him to slip his tongue inside— the piercing that decorates it scrapes along your mouth, unable to help the way your knees weaken at the feeling of him— his touch is everywhere, leaving you dizzy and lightheaded as you can only melt against him, allowing him to press you flush against the wall with his own body; your miniskirt is riding up along your hips as he situates himself between your legs, panties already a mess as he begins to rut his cock into you. 

“Are you sure you want to wait now, pretty?” he asks, looking down at you with low-lidded and fucked out eyes— he punctuates his words with a particularly harsh thrust, laughing at the way you yelp and tighten your hold on him, “I could stop everything right now, send you back to the hotel like this and make you wait, just like you said— is that what you want?”

Oh, he’s cruel— even more so because you’re left shaking your head no deliriously, your mind fogged with such need that your eyes are glossing over at the very thought of not having Beomgyu inside you right now; your voice is pathetic as you plead Beomgyu to finish what he started, throwing a hand over his shoulder and entangling your fingers into his hair as you pull him back into you— he’s more than eager to return the kiss, tilting his head and pressing himself more against you as a hand reaches down to your thigh; grabbing the back of your knee, guiding you to hook it around his waist as he begins to rut into you mindlessly.

“So cute, my pretty girl,” he mumbles against your lips, eyes trailing down your low-cut top to spot his favorite zip-up, a smile tugging at his lips as he merely sends you a cute smile, “did you miss me that much? Already so needy from a little bit of kissing— god, I love you so much…”

You think he’s mostly talking to himself at this point— spewing nothing but filth as his hands shove your shirt over your chest, grinning as he remains impatient enough to not take off a single item of clothing, choosing to push tug your bra down harshly before he’s swooping down to mark your breasts with a cruel smile.

“Looked so fucking hot out there, just made me wanna take you backstage and fuck you there,” he confesses, listening to the choked whine you let out, his pierced tongue playing with your hardened nipples, leaving them swollen and sensitive. He’s looking up at you with doe eyes that contrast greatly with the way he sticks his tongue out for you, letting you watch the way he circles and toys with the cute jewelry he bought for you earlier today, pulling away with a coy smile and leaving them soaked with his spit— he blows softly on them, watching with tentative eyes as you keen at the feeling. 

“God, you know I’ve been wanting to do this every time I see you at one of our shows? To make sure that everyone that looks at you knows just who,” he rolls his hips into you, nice and slow and letting you feel the length of his cock press against you as you flutter your eyes shut from pleasure, “you’re here for?”

“Fuck, gyu,” you pant out, snaking your hands under his shirt and up his back, grabbing at his shoulders and pulling him into you— as if there’s still space between the two of you, as if you’d die if you weren’t touching him at all times, “‘m only yours, only want you…” 

He’s sneaking a hand down to move your panties to the side, the two of you much too desperate to shed off any layers— and as you listen to the clinking sounds of his belt, undoing his jeans and pulling out his hardened cock, you busy yourself by sucking and biting at his neck, listening to his stuttered breaths as you suck and tease at the joint of his neck, his most sensitive spot as you bite at it playfully— you’re only pulling away at the feeling of Beomgyu grabbing at you hair and tugging you away, letting out a baffled laugh at the satisfied look you give him in return. 

“Want everyone to know you’re mine,” you coo out softly, grinding your pussy slowly against Beomgyu’s tip that teases your entrance, your mouth falling open at the feeling of him mirroring the action, running along your folds and swiping at your clit, “all mine, my pretty boy…”

He laughs fondly against your lips at that— bringing you in for a slow kiss, feeling the way your mind goes blank the moment his tip slowing enters you; he’s swallowing a soft moan from you as he bottoms out slowly, keeping himself deep inside and grinding his hips slowly against yours— and he stays there, a tease like always as he watches your brows furrow and your lips pout, telling him softly to move, to do something.

“Mmmh, all yours,” he mumbles softly, pulling out slowly to let you feel the way every vein runs against your walls, clenching and fluttering against his length as he hisses at the feeling, “I’m yours, belong only to you, fuck…”

He’s not able to keep this agonizingly slow pace up for long— as much as he wants to tease you, to have you crying and pleading for him to fuck you stupid, he isn’t fairing that well himself— so it isn’t long before he’s beginning to snap his hips into you, cock curving and aiming for that spot that has your knees buckling, pretty nails digging into Beomgyu’s shoulders and biting at the skin in order to try to stabilize yourself.

“Such a perfect cunt— fuck, ah, just wanna fill you up, wanna see it dripping down those pretty thighs— stupid fucking skirt can’t hide anything, ugh—” his voice is deep and breathy as he continues to talk into your ear, his hands sliding down to the swell of your ass before he’s holding it there— lifting you up, forcing you to hook your legs around his waist as you’re left to his mercy; his chest is pressed flush against yours as he fucks you, and you can only bury your face into his neck to try and muffle your sounds, the rough way you bounce from his thrusts causing your nails to slip and scratch down his back— he hisses at the feeling, only to be spurred by the stinging sensation it leaves behind. 

“So loud, shit,” he laughs meanly, grinning at the way you only bury your face into him more to try and muffle your sounds, “want everyone to hear you? All the staff, the members— I’m sure they’d like to see what a pretty doll you are for me.”

You shake your head at that— but your body gives you away as your cunt clenches around him pathetically, the wet sounds of skin against skin filling the room and undoubtedly filtering outside— but you remain persistent to keep your moans to yourself, choking back on sounds of pleasure as Beomgyu only begins to fuck you rougher; your silence is a challenge, one he’ll gladly take as he begins to roll his hips into you just the way you like it. 

“Come on pretty, I wanna hear you,” he purrs into your ear, a hand snaking around to rub at your clit while the other remains firm on your ass, “don’t you feel good? I can make you feel even better— so, so so good, just let me hear your cute little sounds.”

You’re playing hard to get. And Beomgyu takes absolute pleasure in it, watching the way you shake and dig your nails into him helplessly, your body being wound up from how good he fucks you; your thighs are sticky and shining from your arousal, poorly concealed pleasure only fueling Beomgyu’s ego further as he reaches up to tug your head out from it’s hiding spot.

He thinks he might just cum on the spot; your makeup is ruined, tears of mascara running down your cheeks as you merely let out soft hiccups of moans, your lips parted and brain completely empty as you stare at him— he smiles at you in return, capturing your lips in another kiss as his hand begins to trail down; toying with your breasts, nimble fingers pinching and rolling your nipples as you jolt and whine into his mouth at the sensation. 

“Gyu— gonna— need to, ah…!” the choked whimpers you let out aren’t enough for Beomgyu, and he only slows down at your request; fresh tears stream down your cheeks as you plead softly, breathy voice barely above a whisper as you whine quietly to keep going, don’t stop, please gyu, pleeaaase…. 

“Hmm? What’s that? I can’t hear you, baby,” he murmurs softly against your lips, slowing to nothing but a grind as he presses himself against you— pelvis grinding against your clit, the feeling making you tremble as you dig your nails into his shoulders once more. “Come on sweet thing, tell me what you need.”

You’re telling him— begging, pleading, breathy whimpers and soft cries escaping you as you roll your hips into him, biting your lip and sighing exasperatedly at the way he simply watches you with dark eyes, slowing down until he’s simply bottomed out inside you. 

“What do you want?” he asks softly, breathy voice intertwined with a lilt so sweet you’d almost think he pities you— and by the way he’s looking at you, he just might, swollen lips caught between his teeth to try and suppress a smile. You’re still weak and quiet as you try to voice your wants, looking at him through wet lashes, a pout on your face as your hands run absentmindedly up and down his back.

“Wanna cum?” he coos, pretty hand reaching down to circle and pinch your clit teasingly, “Want me to fuck you? Fill you up? Hmmm?”

All you can do is nod along to his words stupidly— and obviously, it’s the very last thing your boyfriend wants, abandoning your clit and reaching up to grab your face roughly; fingers digging into your cheeks, forced to look at him as he merely glares at you and speaks through gritted teeth. 

“Tell me,” he says, voice sharp and dangerous as he narrows his eyes, “use your words— or, don’t tell me I’ve fucked you dumb already.”

He’s unhooking one of your legs from his waist at that; you’re stumbling slightly, leg too weak to let you stand as you merely cry at him to wait, bringing him closer to you in fear that he might pull out and leave you like this— his fingers still dig into your cheeks as you speak, drool building up at the corners of your pouty lips as you stutter out exactly what you want— what he wants to hear.

“Want you to fuck me, use me— wanna cum, please,” you cry out, eyes squeezing shut as he shakes your head teasingly, as though to say and what else? “Want you to cum inside, baby please, just wanna feel good—”

You’re rambling at this point. But Beomgyu enjoys it nonetheless, telling you to keep going as he begins to move again; slowly at first, allowing you to feel the drag of his thick cock against your walls as your words become stuttered through weak moans, the sight making your boyfriend laugh as he slowly begins to pick up his pace. 

“Like it when I fuck you like this, yeah?” you’re nodding in confirmation to his words; staring at him with pleading eyes, whimpering a soft harder, faster, that the man is immediately obliging as he coos at the way you yelp at the sensation. “Want it harder? Hmmm? Want me to fuck you ‘till you can’t even walk—? Have to carry you out of here, let everyone see the way your sweet cunt is filled up by me?”

All you can do is nod to his words at this point; whimpering a weak yes, yesyesyes, want you to fill me up, use me, more more please—

Everything crashes down on you unexpectedly; your eyes are shutting tight and you think you might just black out as your orgasm hit you suddenly, cunt squeezing and fluttering around Beomgyu’s cock as he groans at the sensation— he lets you ride it out, cooing soft praise into your ear before he’s pulling you in for another kiss; you’re barely able to kiss him back, moaning into his mouth and letting him do whatever he wants with you.

It isn’t long before he’s cumming inside you as well; you’re so tight he can barely move, your cute whimpers and warm cunt guiding him through it as he fucks into you slowly, making sure none of his release slips out as he continues to fuck you, even after he’s become horribly sensitive. Then he’s still, lips still on yours and arms wrapped tightly around you as though he’s afraid to let you go.

“You okay?” he asks quietly after a moment, still lingering close to you, taking in your appearance with tentative eyes. You nod softly, still attempting to catch your breath as you chest heaves against his; he huffs out a soft laugh, caressing your cheek fondly before he’s going to fix your clothes— your mini-skirt remains up on your hips, his cock still bottomed out inside you as he coos about how good you were for him, caressing any skin he can get his hands on (which is a lot, considering your wardrobe) with a smile.

“Pretty girl, so perfect,” he coos, finally pulling out and tucking himself in before he’s going to fix your clothing; not without slipping his fingers inside your cunt one last time, watching with hungry eyes as you curl into him and cry that you’re sensitive— he’s only satisfied after his cum is left snug in your pussy, smiling darkly at the way he brings his fingers up to your mouth for you to clean— you do it without any hesitation, and Beomgyu swears he might just be getting hard again. 

“Love you so much, thank you for coming to see me today,” he says instead, bringing you in for a warm hug and a loving kiss; you merely hum tiredly in response, hands slipping out from his shirt only to be thrown over his shoulders leisurely.

Your face feels hot the moment he’s trying to get the two of you to leave back for the hotel— because your legs are absolutely not cooperating with you. 

“Holy shit, I was joking about that whole fuck you till you can’t walk thing,” he laughs, only to get cut of by the way you hit him in response— he’s letting out an exaggerated whimper at that, rubbing his arm and telling you sorry, sorry baby, with a cute pout.

“Ugh, I don’t want anyone to see me like this, fuck,” you mourn, only for Beomgyu to pull you into his side firmly, sending you a smile that’s not as reassuring as you wish it was. 

“I’m sure no one will notice,” he says simply, swinging the door open and immediately being met with Soobin passing by. 

He slows down at the sight of you two, glancing at your appearances briefly before he keeps walking. 

“Try to keep it down next time please,” he yells out, turning the corner and disappearing from your sight before you can retaliate. You feel slightly mortified by his words, but Beomgyu isn’t affected in the slightest as he leans over to murmur softly into your ear.

“Should we continue this at the hotel, pretty?”

You don’t answer his question. But he already knows the answer, sending you a giddy smile and intertwining his fingers with yours as he leads you to where the staff car is waiting for you two— and you hold back a smile of your own as you trail (limp, kinda) behind him. It’ll be a long night, but you couldn’t ask for a better way to spend your anniversary, no matter how unconventional it is.

#txt fanfic #txt fanfiction #txt imagines #txt oneshots #txt ff #txt x reader #txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #beomgyu smut #beomgyu ff #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu oneshot #beomgyu x reader #[2k event!] #[nsfw] #[revisiting stories]

[cherrycola27]

false god

Series Warnings: Mythology!AU. Language, alcohol, drinking. Military inaccuracies. Mutual pining, unrequited love. Allusions to and full smut. Minors DNI. 18+. Individual chapter warnings will come as needed. Banner Credit @thedroneranger

Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

Chapter Moodboard courtesy of @thedroneranger

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Chapter 13: Electric Touch

Thursdays at the Hard Deck were normally pretty quiet. A few regulars besides the Dagger Squad, maybe a few girls out with their friends or the occasional group of office coworkers out for a pre-Friday happy hour.

However, this Thursday was very loud. Not because of the crowds, but because of Penny Benjamin, soon to be Mitchell.

The Daggers had taken a seat at the bar, and Penny was talking to them when her phone rang. She stepped to the back to take it. Moments later, everyone heard the unmistakable sound of her yelling.

Glances were shared amongst the group as they all wondered what could be wrong. All eyes shot towards Maverick, who was innocently sitting at the end of the bar.

"I didn't do anything—this time. I swear!" He held his hands up in mock defense as Penny came back out.

"You aren't going to believe it!" She huffed to no one in particular. "My band for tomorrow just canceled on me. Something about another bar offered them more money. What am I going to do? We always get a huge crowd when we have live music!" Penny grabbed the towel off her shoulder and threw it on the bar before taking her head in her hands and sighing.

Everyone was silent for a moment, trying to come up with a way to console Penny. No one was sure what to say. Bradley looked at you and raised an eyebrow. You knew what he was thinking. You knew what everyone was thinking, but no one was going to say anything to throw you under the bus. Well, almost no one.

"You know Hades is in a band. She's the lead singer." Jake pipes up after a few beats.

You shoot him a death glare as Penny comes to stand before you.

"You're in a band?" She leans on her elbows.

"Technically, I'm just filling in until they find a new lead singer." You tell her. "So you're in a band, and you didn't tell me?" Penny scoffs.

"The Styx isn't really the kind of band you normally have here, Pen. You can ask they squad. They unknowingly saw us a few months ago for Fanboy's birthday. We are more punk rock—alternative—that kind of stuff." You tell her, hoping she'll drop it.

"Listen, I'm in a pinch. Can you call the rest of your band mates and see if you can turn the emo down for a night and help me out. I mean, surely you guys know some pop or rock or something." Penny practically begs you.

She wasn't wrong, The Styx knew a wide range of songs.

"Fine." You sighed. "I'll call them." You grabbed your phone and stepped outside. Half an hour later, everyone had agreed, and The Styx would be playing at the Hard Deck on Friday.

................

You were silent as Bradley drove to the Hard Deck early Friday afternoon. You were going to a quick sound check before the Hard Deck opened and then you and Bradley were grabbing a quick dinner before The Styx went on.

In regards to Penny's wishes, you and the rest of the band had chosen and rehearsed some more upbeat pieces, some throwback rock, and a few surprises.

You'd also traded in your usual concert attire for a black sundress with cap sleeves that tied in the front. You could take the girl out of the punk, but you couldn't take the punk out of the girl.

Sound check and dinner went fine, but when Bradley brought you back and opened your door, you refused to get out.

"I can't do this." You said to him as he stood there with the door open.

"What do you mean, Angel?" Bradley asked you.

"I can't—I can't sing in front of these people." You told him, still not moving.

"Angel, darling, I've seen you get up there and sing your heart out dozens of time now. You've never once had any reservations. Why now?" Bradley inquires.

"Because—because I didn't know those people, and they didn't know me. At other bars, I'm just a performer, but the people here know me, they work with me, they've seen me around—I can't—I can't hide." You admit to him. You'd never been one to have stage fright, but the idea of not having the security of playing a bar and then never going there again weighed on your shoulders.

At other gigs, people didn't know your name, and you'd never see them again, but the Hard Deck was different.

This audience would be filled with people who knew you. What if you messed up? Made a fool of yourself? Everyone would know.

"Baby." Bradley spoke softly. "Everything is going to be fine. You're going to be amazing. Plus, if anyone says anything to you, I will personally take care of it myself. Now, you need to get in there and knock 'em dead." Bradley smiles at you before unbuckling your seat belt and helping you out of the car.

You nod and jump out, ready to head in. But before you do, Bradley grabs your hand.

"Woah, woah, woah, woah." Bradley, stops you and tugs you back to him. You curl against his torso. As he looks down at you. "I know you aren't about to get up there and sing without me giving you a good luck kiss. C'mon Kolasi, are you crazy?" Bradley chuckles. You lean up on your tiptoes and press a kiss to his lips.

"Much better." He grins. "Now go be a rockstar." You turn away from him and run to catch up with everyone.

You take your place with the band and exchange greetings and good luck. Lyla let's you know that everything is ready for what you have planned.

After Penny introduces you, you all take the stage. The Daggers are all front row, with Bradley in the center, looking up at you like you hung the moon.

You start out your set with some eighties rock. Bon Jovi always puts everyone in a good mood. During the set, you move through some boy band hits, pop princesses, and a dash of country, but as it comes to a close, you have two songs left, and you're nervous for them.

After wrapping up the last bars of a Halsey song, Derrick puts down his bass guitar and grabs his saxophone from the case.

You turn to the crowd and speak into the microphone. "Well, we've got two songs left in our set, and we thought we'd change it up just a bit." You speak.

Everyone cheers and settles in. You find Bradley, still watching, still captivated by you. You take a deep breath. These last two songs would be the most special of the night. Not because you loved them, but because you were singing them to Bradley. They were for him.

You nodded to Derrick, and he and the rest of the band began to play.

You opened your mouth, and the words flowed from your red lips.

"We were crazy to think. Crazy to think that this could work. Remember how I said I'd die for you?"

Bradley's ears perked up. He recognized this song. He'd heard it faintly over the roar of the shower on more than one occasion. His breath hitched. You continued to sing, and Bradley couldn't ignore how undeniably sexy you looked and sounded right now.

He could feel the heat rising in his face and all of his blood rushing south as you began the chorus of the song.

"We might just get away with it. The altar is my hips. Even if it's a false god."

Your hips were an alter, and Bradley would gladly spend the rest of his life on his knees worshiping you.

His pants were definitely feeling tighter now as your body swayed with the beat. You looked right at him. Your eyes locked into his as you sang.

As you finished the song, Bradley really thought he was going to have to excuse himself to the bathroom, but if he got up, everyone would see how rock hard he was underneath his jeans. So, he stayed seated and took a long sip of his beer, trying to collect himself as there was some movement on the stage.

He looked around the bar and tried to think of anything except for you and what you might be wearing under your dress and what it would look like when he took it off of you tonight.

When he looks back at the stage, he's shocked.

You're standing up at the microphone with a red and black acoustic guitar in your hands. Bradley didn't even know you played. Is it possible that seeing you with it has made him fall even more in love with you?

You clear your throat as you grip the neck of the guitar and squeeze your pick in your hand.

"So we have one more song for you tonight, and I'd like to dedicate it to someone special. Bradley, this one's for you, Love." You say as you begin to strum the first notes of the song.

Bradley's breath catches jn his throat. He isn't sure where to look right now. He can't decide if he should focus on the way your fingers expertly glide over the strings of the guitar or how perfect your crimson pout is while you sing.

"All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life."

Bradley thinks about how he would never break your heart and how you've told him he is the one who made you believe in love—in soulmates.

The more you sing, the more he sees your inhibitions slipping. He sees you relax and enjoy what you're doing, truly for the first time that night.

"And I want you now, wanna need you forever. In the heat of your electric touch."

God, you looked so beautiful up there. You found his eyes and smiled right at him. There was so much love for him on your face. You loved him, and you wanted everyone to know.

You stepped away from the microphone and started playing in earnest, strumming every note without hesitation or fear, jumping to the beat without a care in the world.

The bridge of the song came up. You let go of your guitar and let it hang from your shoulder as you grabbed the microphone with both hands to sing it.

"I was thinking just one time. Maybe the stars align. And maybe I call you mine—"

You locked eyes with him, and it was like you two were the only ones in the room

"Maybe the moment's right—"

You threw your head back as you crescendoed on a note at the climax of the song.

You finished strong with the absolute biggest smile on your face. Everyone inside the bar gave you and The Styx a standing ovation, and when you looked at Bradley, he was beaming at you with pride. You couldn't help it, but a few tears came to your eyes. But it was true, Bradley really did bring you back to life.

He was the light in your darkness.

He gave you a reason to live.

He saved you.

After putting everything away, Bradley found you sitting on the back deck of the Hard Deck, watching the waves roll in.

"You were amazing." He tells you, coming to sit beside you. "Why did you tell me you could play guitar?" He asks you. "It never came up." You joke with him as he pulls your stool closer to him.

There's a comfortable silence between the two of you as you both stare at the ocean, enjoying each other's company.

"Bradley." You breathe out, breaking the quiet. He hums back in response. "Take me home." You say as you stand up between his parted thighs.

"Of course, baby. I can take us home, we can change into some comfy clothes and watch some more of that documentary. Bradley replies, missing the point.

"Bradley—" you sigh as you meet his confused expression. "Take me home, and take me to bed." You clarify for him. Your palm coming to rest on his bicep

His honey colored eyes turn almost black in an instant as he pulls you in for a kiss.

"Fuck—Angel. Are you sure?" He asks you as he pulls back.

"Positive." You confirm. That's all Bradley needed to hear. He quickly stands up and grabs your hand. The two of you weave through the crowd of people, not bothering to stop and say goodbye. Bradley doesn't let go of you or speak a word until he has physically put you in the Bronco and buckled you up himself.

"I love you." He says as he climbs in the car and starts it. He laces your fingers together, and the two of you drive into the night.

.................

You thought you would be nervous on the drive home, but you're not.

Then, you thought that the nerves would hit you as you rode in the elevator to your floor or when Bradley unlocked the door and pulled you in behind him.

But they didn't.

And they didn't come when Bradley pinned you against the inside of the door to kiss you. They didn't come when you kicked off your shoes and wrapped your legs around his torso. They didn't come as he carried you down the hallway while you pushed his tropical print shirt off his shoulders or pulled his undershirt over his head.

The nerves didn't come because you didn't have anything to be nervous about. You loved Bradley and he loved you.

He gently sat you down , your feet landing on the plush rug in your shared bedroom.

Bradley unbuckled his belt and quickly discarded it and his jeans, leaving him in just his tight, black boxers.

You cupped him through the fabric, and he kissed you— hard. He moaned against your mouth as you ran your hand over his covered length. You slipped your tongue between his parted lips and deepened the kiss.

The need for air became too great, and the two of you broke apart. Bradley pressed his forehead against yours as the two of you panted, sharing the same air.

His hands skimmed up your side before finding the knot that held the front of your dress closed. He slowly pulled at the fabric, tugging it lose, before spinning you around and dragging the zipper down the back of your dress. Bradley pressed featherlight kisses along the column of your spin as each new inch of skin was exposed to him.

Once the zipper was open, he rose back to his feet and gathered all of your hair away from the right side of your neck. He pushed it away as you lulled your head to the side to give him better access. His lips dances across the space, leaving a scorching trail in their wake as he pushed the sleeves of your dress off your shoulders.

It pooled in the floor at your feet. You stepped out of it and turned to face him.

You weren't wearing a bra, so Bradley had a beautiful view of your peaked nipples that were just begging for his lips to be wrapped around them or rolled between his callous fingertips.

His eyes trailed futher south to the lacy, onyx colored panties—if you could even consider calling them panties, that you were wearing.

The small scrap of black fabric left little to the imagination. The lace ran across the front of you before merging with silk ribbons that were tied and resting on your hips.

Bradley skimmed his hands across your tattoos before tugging each ribbon loose with one finger. The cloth easily fell away from you and joined your dress and his pants in the floor.

You stood there before him, bare and beautiful. It was a glorious sight. Down right heavenly.

You took a step closer to him and skimmed the waistband of his boxers with your fingers. "Well, Bradley, fair is fair. You've seen mine, now let me see yours." You teased him. Bradley smirked at you before pushing the fabric down his thick thighs and kicking them off. You sucked in a breath. Time felt like it stopped. Both of you were there, naked and unafraid, ready to take the next step in your relationship.

"Are you sure?" Bradley whispered.

"I've never been more sure of anything else in my life." You promised him.

Bradley cupped your face in his hands before placing a tender kiss on your lips, slotting his mouth over yours, trying to pour every last ounce of adoration he had for you into it.

He broke away from you, just briefly, to sweep you up into his arms. He carried you bridal style the short distance to the bed.

Bradley gently placed you in the center of the sheets, making sure your head was propped up on the pillows. Your hair fanned out around you like a halo. How fitting, he thought.

Bradley climbed over you. His large body covering yours. He kissed you once more before dropping his lips to your jaw. He followed the line of it to the place where it met your ear.

You shuttered as he kissed there before trailing them down the column of your throat. Bradley continued his journey further south, pausing to nip and suck the tender swells of the tops of your breasts before his tongue laved the valley between them.

He took your right nippled between his lips, sucking the dusty rose colored bud into the warmth of his mouth before rolling the sensitive bud between his teeth. His left hand cupped your other one, kneading and rolling the flesh, causing you to moan for him. He pulled off of you with an audible pop before turning his attention to the other.

Each flick of his tongue against your pebbled nipple sent another rush of wetness to your core. You were so worked up, your slick running down your thighs as you rubbed them together in search of some friction to provide the tiniest bit of relief.

But Bradley wasn't having any of it.

He grabbed your hips and stilled your movements as he dragged his hot, wet tongue across your stomach and over your navel before placing a kiss right above where you wanted him most.

You parted your thighs for him, silently inviting him to take whatever he wanted from you. He nudged them even further apart before lowering his face to be level with your core.

"You're so wet for me, Angel." Bradley praised you. He was so close you could feel his hot breath fan across your center. You clenched around nothing, as you waited for him to touch you.

"Bradley—please." You whimpered, yearning for him to please you.

He chuckled before leaning forward and placing a delicate kiss on your clit. Your back arched as you nearly jumped off the bed. Bradley's large hands found your hips and pinned your down.

"Easy there, Angel. Just relax. I'll take care of you." Bradley assured you as he stroked the inner flesh of your thigh. You took a deep breath and settled yourself again.

Bradley pressed another kiss to your clit before tracing your slit with his tongue, gathering your wetness before drawing the sensitive bundle of nerves into his mouth. A breathy moan left your lips as he lapped at your core, over and over again, drawing more sounds of pleasure from you.

Your fingers flexed against the sheets, desperately seeking something to ground yourself. With a particular harsh lick of his tongue, you jolted forward and clamped your legs around Bradley's head.

He eased your thigh open, keeping them nice and wide for his broad shoulders. Your hand found purchase in his hair. You tugged on his golden curls, the blunt tips of your fingernails digging into his scalp.

He growled at the sensation before sinking two fingers into you. He curled his left hand, stroking your walls with expert fashion. He found that spongy spot inside your velvet heat with ease, and he zeroed in on it, quickly sending you towards a release.

You cried out his name in a string of melodious whines and moans, that went straight to Bradley's cock as he rutted himself against the mattress.

He knew he needed to collect himself because the beautiful sounds you were making, coupled with your devine taste, was almost enough to make him cum.

Bradley kept a steady rhythm between his fingers and his tongue, drawing you closer and closer to the edge. It was overwhelming. You tried to pull away, but Bradley slipped his free hand under you and grabbed your ass, pulling you as close has he possibly could to him, before draping his arm over your hip bones and pinning you in place.

You threw your head back into the pillows and screamed before tugging your lower lip into your mouth in an attempt to control yourself.

Bradley continued to lap at your core as you ground against his face, but as he did, he noticed something was missing. You were quiet, too quiet

Bradley looked up at you. Your lower lip was rolled between your teeth in an attempt to silence the sounds that are music to his ears.

"Angel—" He breathes out as he crawls up the bed and hovers over you. You meet his eyes as Bradley draws his thumb over your lip and frees it.

"Don't get shy on me now. I want to hear everything. I want you to sing for me again. Can you do that? Can you sing for me, pretty girl?" Bradley asks you.

You nod your head rapidly. You could do that for him. You would do anything Bradley asked of you because you wanted to be good for him.

He was so, so good to you, and you wanted to be his best girl.

So, when his lips met your eager core once more, you let out a symphony of moans, just for Bradley, his own private concert.

"Bradley, Bradley, Bradley!" You chanted his name as you tossed a leg over his shoulder and dug your heel into his back.

"Oh fuck, fuck, o gam, o gam! Olokliróno!" You shouted, slipping back into your native Greek tongue as pleasure washed over you as you came.

Your chest heaved as Bradley eased you through your high.

He climbed up next to you on the bed, grinning.

You smiled at him shyly. "I'm sorry." You laughed. "For what?" He asked you. "For switching to Greek. It's my first language, I couldn't help it." You say.

"Don't apologize. Do you know how incredibly sexy it was to hear you shout 'oh, fuck, I'm cumming,' in your native language?" Bradley smirks at you.

You look at him shocked. "How did you know what I said?" You asked him.

"I started learning the language after you told me you were Greek." Bradley tells you. Your eyes go wide. You told him that over ten months ago, before you were dating. He'd cared about you that long.

Your heart swells as you kiss him.

"If you keep it up, who knows what else you might hear me say." You tease him as you kiss him again, tasting yourself on his lips.

Bradley chuckles and easily slides his body over yours, supporting his weight on his forearms.

You can feel the thick head of his cock at your entrance. He moves one hand down and collects some of your wetness before spreading it over himself.

His eyes meet yours, one final, silent ask for permission, reassurance that this is something you want. You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him as he pushes into you, slowly.

It's a stretch. You knew it would be to take all seven and a half inches of him. But it's a good stretch. It seems like it takes an eternity before Bradley finally bottoms out, and his hips are flush with yours.

You let go of the breath you are holding and wrap your legs around him, holding him still as you adjust to his size.

Bradley is dying to move. He's willing himself to hold back, even though he wants nothing more than to rut into your tight, wet heat. He knows that it's been a while for you. He also knows how important this is for you—for both of you, and he'll be damned if he lets his primal urges fuck this up.

You wriggle your hips, adjusting on the bed. Your walls flutter around him, and Bradley can't control the stutter in his hips as he curses.

"M'sorry." He mumbles, trying to calm himself.

"It's fine, Love, you can move." You tell him. Bradley nods. He pulls back about halfway before seating himself in you again.

A groan escapes his lips as he repeats the action over and over again, pulling out more each time until he's only leaving his thick mushroom tip inside of you.

Your arms wrap around his torso as you desperately claw at his tanned skin. His thrusts are deep, deliberate. You know Bradley is searching for your gspot so he can zero in on it and have you cumming around his cock.

He leans back on his haunches and tilts your hips upwards before rutting into you again. You let out I high-pitched moan and a string of Greek, and he knows he's found it.

"Is that it? Is that the spot right there? It has to be because it had my pretty girl making those heavenly moans for me. C'mon, Baby, get loud for me." Bradley encourages you as he ruts into you harder, deeper, faster.

The head of his cock kisses your cervix before dragging along the textured roof of your walls over and over again. A symphony falls from your lips as Bradley flexes against you.

His hands grip the meat of your hips, hard enough to leave brusies, marking you like a badge of honor. Maybe you should get his fingerprints tattooed on you so you'd always have them.

"Is that way you want? Does my beautiful girl want everyone to know who she belongs to?" Bradley goads you. You didn't realize you were thinking out loud when you'd said that last part, but it was true. You wanted everyone to know that you were Bradley's, and he was yours.

"Yesyesyes!" You babbled out as you nodded your head.

Bradley's eyes darkened. He loved the idea of everyone seeing the evidence of your lovemaking. He wanted everyone to know that he was the one who got to love you, to pleasure you—to worship you. That he was the only one worthy of that honor.

Maybe—just maybe—one day, if he is lucky, he'll get you pregnant, and then their would be no denying who's girl you were. God, the idea of you round and swollen and carrying his child only added to Bradley's pleasure.

"Fuck, Angel! You feel so fucking good. Gripping me so fucking tight. I could stay buried in you for eternity. You gave me a taste, and now I'm never going to get enough." Bradley cried out as you clenched around him.

The two of you moved in a syncopated rhythm, pushing a pulling in perfect harmony. Bradley praised you as you begged him for more.

In the back of you mind, you thought that he would have wanted to fuck you into the mattress until you couldn't walk tomorrow, but he surprised you once again.

Bradley wasn't having sex with you. He was making love to you. He was showing you over and over that he cared for you with the amount of effort he was putting in.

He listened to every gasp, every hitch in your breath, in order to make this a pleasurable experience for you. He cared about what you wanted.

You lifted your hips off the bed to meet his thrusts, urging both of you to the edge. As much as you wanted to stay wrapped up in Bradley, you wanted—nay—needed for him to cum inside you. To claim you as his own. To make you his just as much as he was yours.

Bradley could tell you were close. Each time he pulled back, your pussy gripped him, as if trying to keep him in place.

Sounds of your love making bounced off the walls of your bedroom. Wrapping you and Bradley in them.

Because this wasn't just sex between the two of you, it was something more. An ethereal connection the two of you had.

Bradley had never been so in love in his life. Truly, when he thought about it, Bradley didn't think he had even been in love with anyone until he met you.

You changed the very definition of love for Bradley.

You are the most beautiful, amazing, talented person he has ever known, and he doesn't want to live one day of his life without you.

He continued to rock against you, his thighs starting the burn, and his balls tight and, aching for release, but he wouldn't allow himself to let go until he felt you coming undone around him. He needed to make you feel good. It's the only thing on his mind.

Bradley's leaned forward, bracing on his forearms, invading your space, and sharing your air.

His head dropped to the crook of your neck as he peppered kisses there before using one of his hands to trace tight circles over your clit.

You tighten around him the timing of his thrusts, and the feeling of his fingers on your neglected bundle of nerves has your head spinning, but it's too much.

You wriggle under him, trying to get away from the sensation, but you can't.

"Bradley, it's too much." You tell him, and he understands. He pulls his hand back from your core.

Instead, he grabs your left hand and laces it with his, pinning both of them over your head. You close your eyes and cry out. "Love, I'm so close! Agápi, eímai tóso kontá!" As you thrash your head from side to side.

"I know, me too, Angel. Open your eyes. Look at me. I want you to look at me when you cum." Bradley grunts out, his voice strained with pleasure.

It takes every ounce of willpower you have, but you force your eyes open and stare into his. You squeeze his left hand with your own as your orgasm washed over you.

Euphoria floods your body as you cum for Bradley, chanting his name like a sacred prayer.

Bradley cums with you, babbling your name as he spills into you, your walls clamping around him, milking him for everything he has.

He collapses on top of you, and you welcome his weight as you card your fingers through his hair. You tremble against him as he whispers praises into your skin.

You don't know how much time passed, nor do you remember dozing off. But you're startled awake when you feel a warm damp cloth between your legs.

"B—Bradley?" You stutter out, your voice still raspy with sleep as you sit up.

"Shh, Angel, go back to sleep. I just wanted to clean you up." He tells you. You give him a sleepy smile as he finishes caring for you. Bradley tosses the cloth into the hamper, and you make grabby hands for him as he walks back over to the bed. He takes you in his arms, and you curl up to him as close as you possibly can.

"I love you." You tell him as you trace lazy shapes along his torso. "I love you too, Angel." He tells you as he cards his fingers through your hair. And in that moment, Bradley decides that this is exactly what he wants for the rest of his life.

He also knows that he has to practice his Greek one more time before the morning.

............

The next morning, you wake up alone. He worried at first, but when you hear the sounds of Bradley in the kitchen, you settle.

You take your time getting up and taking a shower. You're deliciously sore from the night before, and you couldn't be happier.

Post shower, you slip on one of Bradley's UVA tees and a pair of leggings. You pull your hair into a messy bun, and make your way into the kitchen.

Hydra and Cerberus are both at Bradley's feet, no doubt waiting for him to "accidentally" drop some bacon for them. You smile at the sight.

You can't recall a time when you have been this happy.

Breakfast is slow and easy. Bradley holds your hand through the entire thing. But when you get up to put the dishes away, he stops you.

You looked at him confused. But he gives you a reassuring smile before speaking.

"Hades—Angel, before I met you, I thought I knew what love was. And I never thought it was in the cards for me. But that all changed when I met you. You showed me what it meant to love and be loved. You showed me what it means to be so in love with someone it hurts.

I have loved you since the first day I met you. Angel, S'agapó, I love you. I love you more and more each day. I the way you laugh, and the way you smile, and they way you care for others.

You are the most amazing person I have ever met. And I don't want a day of my life to go by where you aren't in it, and I may not be able to stand at an alter and do it, but it doesn't mean that I can't ask you.

So, Ángele, tha me pantrefteís? Angel, will you marry me?" Bradley finishes his speech and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. He opens it to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. You reach forward and gingerly touch it and instantly see that it belonged to his mother.

"Bradley— I—we—" you stutter as tears cloud your eyes.

"We can't— not really. And didn't we say marriage was just a piece of paper?" You shake your head.

"I was so wrong to say that." Bradley tells you.

"My dad died when I was a kid. And my mom never remarried. When I was old enough to understand, I asked her why, and she said that when you married someone, you promised to give someone your heart forever. She told me she had already given her heart to my dad, and she couldn't give it to anyone else again." Bradley tells you.

"I didn't really know what she meant then, but I do now. I want to give you my heart forever—however long, that is." Bradley smiles at you. Your eyes flick between him and the ring in his hand.

You knew that your marriage would never be real in the eyes of the other Gods, but you didn't care. They never cared about you anyway.

And you no longer cared about completing your quest. As long as you had Bradley, you had no desire to be immortal. He gave you purpose. For the first time in your life, he gave you a reason to live.

And maybe it didn't make sense, but it didn't matter. He was right. Marriage was a promise to give someone your heart, and even without a ring, you'd already given Bradley yours.

So, before you can think too hard about it, you look Bradley in the eyes and answer him.

"Yes."

Special shout out to @thedroneranger for the amazing moodboad!

Taglist: @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @mayhemmanaged @wkndwlff @roosterforme @daggerspare-standingby @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233 @hecate-steps-on-me @cassiemitchell @na-ta-sh-aa @katieshook02 @desert-fern @je-suis-prest-rachel @soulmates8 @diorrfairy @eli2447 @xoxabs88xox @djs8891 @roosters-girl @sebsxphia @rosiahills22 @dempy @callsign-magnolia @alchemxx @gretagerwigsmuse @withahappyrefrain @lt-spork @multifandomlover4life @beccaanne814 @bradshawsbaby @seitmai @kmc1989 @bcarolinablr @roosterisdaddy36 @itsdesiree86 @waywardhunter95 @hisredheadedgoddess28 @whatislovevavy @asshlyyyy @inkandarsenic @tomanybandstolove @jiminie-08 @dingochef @laracrofted @skipchat @sunlightmurdock

#cherrycola27 #top gun maverick #top gun #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #rooster top gun #tgm #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #lt. bradley bradshaw #top gun rooster #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction #tgm smut #rooster smut #bradley bradshaw smut #top gun 2 #false god #Spotify

[nero1forte]

persona 3 music headcanons

(yay)

i’m taking in the time period the game takes place. (2009-2010ish) also. idk what type of music was popular in japan, so i’m just going off of western music :^)

Makoto

Ok. so i might be projecting a bit on this one, but he listens to early 2000’s emo/grunge/rock music.

A few bands i’m specifically thinking: mcr, deftones (i know im sorry but cmon), green day, maybeee the cure idk

He’ll really listen to anything though. if he doesn’t like something that’s put on he won’t say anything to the person. just. internalize how much he hates it

Makoto also listens to instrumentals. he likes to turn his brain off and do stuff around the dorm or just sit in his room. songs with lyrics sometimes are too overwhelming in those specific instances

Junpei

Junpei definitely listens to bands like Linkin Park and The Offspring. Maybeeee some rap here and there too

“SHAWTYS LIKE A MELODY IN MY HEAD” (thinks of Chidori when he listens to that song)

He def has “concerts” in his room where he blasts his music and sings obnoxiously loud

I feel like he’d also secretly like some pop music, but he’d never admit it

Yukari

She listens to whatever’s popular at the moment but she definitely has some favorite bands/artists

Mainly listens to female artists (P!NK? maybe avril lavigne)

Lovesss pop music and love songs (Junpei teases her for liking love songs and it makes her SO MAD)

Aigis

Aigis doesn’t really care what music is playing. But she has a tendency to… over explain things about the music.

Will give unnecessary info about the artist that is currently playing

She’ll also try to find songs she thinks the others will like based on the stuff they play around her

Shes basically like the DJ thing on spotify

Fuuka

I can see Fuuka liking music with lots of different instruments. But also liking softer songs (idk if she’d listen to this band but my first thought was songs like Never Shout Never makes)

Prefers live recordings and acoustic versions of songs

She usually lets the others pick out music when they’re listening together and generally likes anything (unless it’s super heavy)

Her and Yukari like a lot of the same music. Junpei also tries to get her to listen to more rock

Akihiko

Aki doesn’t really listen to music… He either does things in silence or turns the radio on a random station

He goes to Power Records and buys CDs based on the cover art

If someone plays a song and he likes how it sounds, he’ll awkwardly go up to them and ask them what the song is called

Mitsuru

Mitsuru is a bit hard to place for me. But I feel like she would mainly listen to classical music (on the rare occasions she does listen to music)

She doesn’t have CDs, a radio or an MP3 player. But she definitely has a record player and collects records

Like Fuuka, she’ll usually let the underclassmen pick out music to play and some of the lyrics make her question the things they’re into…

Shinji

Shinji listens to very very very underground stuff. (can’t decide if he would listen to 90s rock or not.)

He tried to show his music to Aki ONE TIME. Aki immediately hated it

No specific bands or songs rlly come to mind

I imagine the stuff he likes is … very hard to listen to :)

He also hates pop music with a passion

Kotone

She’s like a mix of Yukari and Makoto

The type of person to listen to anything… ANYTHING. and most likely enjoy it

Kotone is also one of the only people who actually likes Shinjis obscure ass music

Ken

Ken. Idk.

He seems like the type to not really care about music honestly

Just. Listens to whatever the others put on without much objection

#.pdf #persona #persona 3 #minato arisato #makoto yuki #yukari takeba #junpei iori #akihiko sanada #kotone shiomi #mitsuru kirijo #shinjiro aragaki #shinji aragaki #aigis #ken amada #fuuka yamagishi

[gerardpilled]

I'm not even particularly invested in this bc I don't read MCR fanfic, but you shouldn't go around saying people who enjoy fanfic need to be psychological evaluated, this only makes you sound like a bully who gets off on guilty tripping people. Just leave them be. Also, I'm guessing you're lacking a little context, but the bulk of MCR fans were actually 13-15 when the band peaked and they just believed in the stage gay the band members performed at their live concerts. It's important taking this in the context that in the mid 2000s any kind of queer representation in media was nonexistent or completely stereotyping and offensive (I recommend watching @verilybitchie video on emo subculture and bisexuality). Sometimes, believing in something, even as absurd as it may sound, is important to people and how they understood their own identities. T.a.T.u was fake af and yet I don't think I'd have come to terms with my own identity, sexuality and so on so early on if I hadn't had watched two girls singing about their undying love for each other on MTV. I know it's easier shitting on people when you dehumanize them as some kind of horny weirdo nasty queer girls that are somehow abusing these middle aged white celebrities for fantasizing about them, but to most people, these famous rock stars live in another world quite literally. Maybe you're a upper middle class person who lives in LA and meets celebrities grocery shopping on a regular basis, but remember that these artists are actually famous world wide and most fans won't ever be able to see them playing live. And then, there's the fact that in most cases, it's journalists that bring up fanfic during interviews for shock value, and not the fans. Also, you guys seriously need to stop overreacting about shit celebrities said 15 years ago on twitter.

Hi, okay so you’re referring to this post I made but the thing is I wasn’t talking about fanficiton, I was talking about genuinely believing Frank and Gerard had a secret romance. Perhaps you’re right that my wording was a bit harsh and rude, but the over reaction was meant to be at least a little funny.

I read and have always read mcr fic if I’m being honest! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it because like you said we are never going to have contact with them and I personally can separate fiction from reality. I actually watched the video you’re referring to months ago and it has actually shaped a lot of my current opinions on the cultural impact of mcr. The thing is it’s not 2007 anymore and I was more referring to the people on tumblr who have more context than a stage kiss. There are people out there that when presented with all the facts in the world believe that Gerard and Frank are going to leave their wives and be together. I have gone through periods where I thought there was something more that went down between them but these days I just don’t really care if it actually happened or not. The way I read fic or think about their relationship is through hypotheticals where I think stuff like “wow if this actually happened it would have been so interesting!” but I know it didn’t. I would definitely be considered a “weirdo nasty queer girl” I just think putting genuine weight into the belief that they are in love does more harm than good to younger, impressionable people at this point in their careers. That’s just me though

#also I’m not sure what the twitter thing is about I don’t think any of them got mad on twitter over this

[theswarmanthology]

Em, 21, Ohio

"i was big into the bandom scene in the years following the break up. the 2012-2016 middle school emos riding the coattails of the elders. i then rejoined the fandom most heavily this year following along the tour almost every night with the tumblr crew. which has been one of the if not the most fulfilling fandom experience of my life."

Fast Facts: How long have you been a fan?: 5-8 years Did you get to see MCR live before this tour?: No, this tour was my first time seeing MCR How many shows on this tour did you attend in total?: 1 Favorite album: I have more than one favorite album Show experience out of 10: 10 Did you cry at your show?: No

Which date of the tour did you attend? 09/13/22, Little Caesars Arena, Detroit

When did you get your tickets for your show? Was it a struggle, or were they easy to grab? i got super lucky and managed to snag mine within minutes of their initial release !! i had three devices set up with my family and one of them got queued in with around 400 people ahead of us. i was able to score 2 GA tickets. i was even luckier then because my grandma paid for it and called it an early birthday gift for my nineteenth birthday. ended up actually being an early birthday gift for my 21st haha :')

Did you attend with anyone else? i brought my little brother !! this was special to me because my first concert was seeing frank perform with the cellabration in 2015 at the height of my initial interest in mychem, and my brothers first concert was seeing my chemical romance this year. just felt a little full circle to me :)

If you camped out, how was that experience? Was it worth it? i didn't camp overnight, but i shows up eleven hours early and was 33rd in line. so i was in it for the long haul haha. it was genuinely an amazing experience. the people i met and interacted with were some of the most kind and welcoming people ever. i played uno in line with some people and that passed the time like nothing else hahaha :)

What did you wear? the main part of my outfit i want to point out is the shirt i painted with bleach with vampire teeth on the front and "keep the faith" on the back. this concert, this tour, feel like a culmination of the faith kept by the band and everyone who has been impacted by them.

Where were your seats? barricade on frank's side !!

What was your favorite song(s) from the setlist they played at your show? the world is ugly !! there was something so special about the band that changed my life forever singing the lyrics to a crowd of 22,000 screaming them right back.

What song were you most hoping to hear? Did you get to hear it? i was hoping for vampire money or burn bright ! i got neither and i can't complain at all !!!

What was your favorite moment from the show? god, all of it ??? maybe when mikey stepped out to play on the box right in front of me :)

What was the most unexpected moment from the show? THE NURSE OUTFIT ?????

Did you snag any merch? What pieces? i got the haunted house shirt and the stone lovers shirt !! :)

Many fans describe seeing MCR live as feeling like coming home. Did you experience anything like that at your show? i was betting on crying for over two years. instead i was in a state of absolute awe. when i was screaming the words to songs my face was stuck like this :0

If you could change one thing about your show experience, what would it be? i don't think i would. my brother did get a stomachache during the openers sets, so maybe i would let him not have a stomachache hahaha

Has your perspective or opinion about the band changed since seeing them on this tour? If so, in what way? i think now as an adult i can understand them and their message better. seeing them perform and their growth over the years has been very moving and inspiring

What advice would you give to people seeing My Chemical Romance in the future? talk to the people around you, they're all worth it. and just have fun. rock out

Anything we didn't ask that you feel obliged to share or talk about? shout out to the massive gravel pit at little caesar's arena you were not fun to sit in

Thanks, Em!

#story #09/13/22 #mcrdetroit

[ezra-brainrot]

I forgot to mention on here that I was given permission to write a fic about a Hannah Montana AU and I did BUT - if you follow me at all on Twitter, you should know I am... an unapologetic music nerd.

And I meant to write out a little more about that side of it just because I enjoy sharing music nerd things.

Anyway - originator of the Matt Magdred AU here. (ty for allowing me to play in the AU!!)

And here is the fic!!

And now for some notes about things:

Ch 1 - Bands mentioned in this AU: Same as Sam == Better Than Ezra, my favorite band. Formed in 1988, generally alternative / Southern rock and idk what else to add to them. The title of the fic is from their song "In the Blood."

Golden Throne == Silverchair. Silverchair was an Australian band that got their start at twelve years old. They started out as grunge-ish but experimented around with alternative and progressed over time. When I was writing this, I was also thinking of the singer - Daniel Johns - who ended up with a lot of mental and physical health struggles from being a celebrity so early. It's a rough to read about but it's also reflected in their music, especially Neon Ballroom. "Feeling Unwell" is a play on my favorite Silverchair song, "Emotion Sickness."

Excitement Split == Joy Division. British band in the late 70s that helped create post-punk which later served as the basis for 2000s-era emo. Ian Curtis is another singer who had a lot of tragedy and struggled with epilepsy. Twenty Four Hours is on my personal Dimitri playlist.

Solar Flare is a nod to a New Order song "Vicious Streak", which was a lyric I used in a fic a way way long ago. It is on my Dimilix playlist!

If you try to place this fic in a timeline, I am not so sure I could do it. Circa mid-90s to early 2000s? Annette is definitely hauling around Teen Beat / Tiger Beat magazines which are no longer in print form!

Chapter 2:

I forgot to mention this in the A/N but Rodrigue is a fan of The Grass Roots (Turf Germs here). Grass Roots was a band but they also weren't - they were a group of session musicians that got together and they still sound very unique. They did Where Were You When I Needed You? (later covered by The Bangles) and Sooner or Later. This was kind of the perfect band for "slightly esoteric but still very embarrassing for the kids."

The concert experience was 1000% own personal experience speaking. Not too long before I wrote that part, I'd actually gone to see Better Than Ezra in Richmond (and Toad the Wet Sprocket about two weeks previously) and it really is an amazing experience when everything goes right.

Also I didn't get to go into it deeply in the story itself but Dedue is Dimitri's manager / musical partner. Dedue is looking to get into the music business as a producer and start his own recording studio. He and Dimitri are really good friends that met when Dimitri went out one day to buy a guitar and just worked well together + Dedue has a good handle on Dimitri's mental health and balancing his career around it.

Chapter 3:

This is a teen melodrama so - wearing someone else's varsity jacket is a Big Deal. But it also left Dimitri out in an awkward position because he is very consistent about Matt Magdred wear versus Dimitri wear.

Which is another thing I might do in a side story maybe? When I was writing this, I was thinking of Dimitri being very deliberate in how he separates his Dimitri self and his Matt self, as Dimitri is poised, friendly, well put-together but Matt gets to be "honest" and outgoing and confident, and it's an important part of Dimitri's self-actualization that he begins to merge the two and just be himself. I just view Dimitri as someone that still struggles to find his own identity well into his teens / early 20s because he's spent so much of his teen years trying to force himself to be what other people think he should be. Whew, long tangent.

I tried to explain the difference between a karaoke bar and a bar-with-karaoke here because I wasn't familiar with it at all until I actually went to one. But you really do get your very own room and can sing your heart out with friends.

Seasoned Femmes is... Spice Girls. Because Annette would love sugary pop. Ambitious is Wannabe. Felix will not escape the cringe.

Chapter 4: Rise Up Guy == Fall Out Boy. Who, by the way, covered "Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division. Ehehe.

Ice Police == Snow Patrol. I have this ridiculous headcanon that Snow Patrol is Felix's secret Dimitri band because he can't admit to liking melodramatic love songs... even though he has an entire burned CD of them to listen to in his car. "Open Your Eyes" is Felix's song for Dimitri (among many others). And "Somewhere A Clock is Ticking" is on my Dimitri playlist.

Eve-Quick is Taylor Swift. Because many of my mutuals are T-Swift fans. It is also a very subtle reference to another 90s alternative band, Eve 6.

This is super-nonsensical but WWAZ == WWOZ, a New Orleans jazz station. I was also thinking about when I listened to an interview with a musician over the radio once and he was in a garage and... accidentally set off a row of car alarms. Luckily, Dimitri did not do that.

The LP Dimitri is looking at in Hot Topic is Social Distortion. I always found it funny that Hot Topic had Social Distortion t-shirts and Dead Kennedys t-shirts. (Dead Kennedys were notoriously anti-corporate). If I imagine musician!Mitri, it's usually the Social Distortion aesthetic.

I waffled a bit - initially, I was thinking of having Felix find out by seeing Dimitri in his trailer and being undercut by a group of fans/ paparazzi almost catching him putting on his Magdred persona, but that didn't really feel right since the focus was more on Dimitri-as-a-normal-teenager. So his almost-reveal happening in a mall out of nowhere felt a lot more natural in terms of normal life always under threat by celebrity culture.

So uh - thanks for reading this!! If there's anything else you want to know, I can try my best!!

#dimilix #misc ezra fanfic thoughts

[tardis--dreams]

The doctor: anywhere in time and space, where do you wanna-

Me: Queen concert, 12th of July 1986, London, UK!

#Yes I have thought about where I would wanna go if the doctor invited me #Use that psychic paper as our ticket and let me see that concert! #Maybe get me to some early emo band concerts #Mcr black parade tour #Take me to concerts I missed due to being too young or being unaware of the artists back then #Take me to the very beginnings of artists' careers when they played in pubs and small locations #Take me to the sold out stadium concerts i never got tickets for #Just.. Take me to concerts #But most importantly the queen concert #(is it becoming too obvious that I'm craving concerts despite knowing I won't ever be able to attend one again? #And that I'm slowly going insane? #) #Started getting back into doctor who though which is nice #shut up amy #dw #(sort of) #queen #(kinda) #(not that Tumblr will allow me to find my own posts again no matter how detailed i tag them but whatever)

[karajaynetoday]

forever and always | calum hood

I couldn’t find the original credit for this gif but possibly here? It’s a deactivated blog though if anyone has the proper credit please let me know!

I don’t know how or why, but I woke up this morning thinking about this concept and I had to get it written to make my peace with it, in a way. Shout out to @spicycal for reading through the draft for me, and sending love to anyone this resonates with. It’s a very emo Calum one-shot that includes pregnancy loss (if that’s not something you can read, feel free to give this one a miss), but I promise it has a happy ending. 

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy and pregnancy loss/stillbirth, and references to COVID-19 (the pandemic circumstances i.e. quarantine, not actually having the illness)

(This is a fem reader insert)

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Calum ducked his head down to meet your gaze, brown eyes swimming with concern.

You were sat together on the couch in Ashton’s living room, surrounded by a lighting set up, having a quiet moment while Andy and Ryan were setting up their cameras in front of you. 5SOS were preparing to release their next album, and to reflect on the past ten years’ of the band, they had decided to film a documentary alongside the album process. After much deliberation, KayKay, Sierra and Crystal had agreed to take part, because they were just as much a part of the band’s journey as the boys’ families were, and their support and influence on the music was obvious. For you, though, it was a little different. You and Calum had successfully hidden your relationship from the public eye for the last four years. It was some sort of miracle, honestly, especially given the last little while where you’d gotten careless and slipped up by holding hands and showing affection in public. If any fans or paps noticed, they never said anything, and it gave you and Calum a sense of relief that no one knew your name or true identity when you were spotted with him or the rest of the band family in public.

Relief, but you had to admit that it hurt a little too. You’d seen the hate and vitriol that the other guys’ partners had experienced, and you knew Calum was just trying to protect you from all of that, but every time someone made a joke about him being the only single one in interviews, or asked him what he looked for in a girl, or the fans ran away with relationship rumours whenever he was photographed within breathing distance of a potential love interest,  it made your chest feel tight. At the end of the day, though, Calum always came home to you, and that was what truly mattered.

To say that this was a big moment, publicly announcing your relationship with Calum, and revealing that you’d kept it hidden for years, was an understatement. But you knew it was important to both of you to finally share it with the world. Not just because you loved each other and wanted to show it, but because the events of the past year had broken and rebuilt you all over again. As individuals, as a couple, and even for the band as a whole. You knew that the hope you’d held, and the pain that tore you down, and the healing you’d been through came across in Calum’s contributions to the new album, so it felt right to sit down and use your own voice to convey your feelings about it all.

You broke out of your deep train of thought to nod in response to Calum’s question, and press a quick but reassuring kiss to his lips.

“I’m sure if you’re sure.” You whispered, as Calum threw his arm around your shoulders and squeezed to let you know he was in support of whatever you wanted to do.

“Okay guys, we’re ready if you’re all good to go?” Ryan spoke up from behind the camera, trying not to unsettle you two and the moment you were clearly having. A deep breath and a brief smile from you and Calum let Ryan know he could start recording, and Andy sat down out of frame and pulled his notebook of questions into his lap.

“So, shall we start from the beginning?”

Your heart swelled, as you began to remember.

--

Ashton had full on wingman-ed Calum when you first met them both at a bar downtown. He was dating KayKay at the time, so he’d made it his mission to find Cal a hot date, or a lover, or a lifelong companion (“Any of the above will do, as long as you’re not a shit person”, he’d told you as he tried to pitch Calum to you). The pitch had worked, and you’d joined them for a few drinks and rounds of pool, before exchanging numbers with Calum at the end of the night.

From there, it was coffee dates, and brunches, and then dinners and nights out on the town. Soon it became days or nights at each other’s houses, which became entire weekends, then it was trips away or secret visits to see Calum on tour, and before you knew it, you’d been dating for the better part of the last two years and Cal asked you to move in with him. He knew it was a sacrifice on your part, not only dating someone who was away for months at a time, let alone someone whose hand you couldn’t hold out in public for risk of being photographed, but you also knew that you and Calum loved each other more deeply than you’d ever loved before. You understood he’d be burned in the past with public or semi-public relationships, and seeing his band brothers go through them made him hesitant at best. By moving in together, you’d see each other more, and you’d also get to shower each other with the love and desire that was building more and more within your soul with every passing day.

--

“So that’s the story of how we met. Mate, honestly, I was head over heels from day one.” Calum laughed, kissing your forehead quickly.

“I’ve had the privilege of observing you two and your love for one another for a few years now, and I have to say it’s a beautiful thing. You just seem to know each other inside out, and I love that soulmate aspect of your relationship.” Andy mused, flashing you a warm smile.

“Now, in terms of influence on this upcoming album, I know the past 18 months have been a rollercoaster for us all, but you two especially have been through a lot. Do you feel comfortable talking us through that a little bit?” Andy was careful with his words, not wanting to upset you or make you uncomfortable.

You squeezed Calum’s knee, before swallowing thickly and thinking back to the time period Andy had mentioned.

--

When 2020 began, you held so much hope and excitement for the year ahead. Watching Calum and his brothers play the Firefight Australia concert was incredible, and you were so thrilled for them to be releasing their latest album that truly felt representative of the four individuals who had come together to craft it. But then the pandemic began, and you were ordered into quarantine. Each day felt heavier somehow, with more sad stories on the news, and more frustration building up amongst your loved ones. It broke your heart to see Calum and the boys not able to release the album in the way they’d originally hoped, but Cal himself was both an optimist and a realist, and constantly reiterated that it felt like the right time to release it anyway, because maybe it would bring a bit of joy and serenity to people that needed that in their lives amongst all the chaos.

You’d quickly fallen into the routine of home isolation, waking early to get your work hours done, so you could spend your afternoons with Calum and Duke by the pool, or hiking a nearby trail, or bingeing Netflix on the couch. It was strange to have so much time together, but it was also so warm and comforting that it didn’t take you long to get anxious at the idea of Calum ever leaving again for tour or promo. That was a while away, though, so you tried your best to make the most of the time you had, and take it one day at a time.

You couldn’t remember the first day you woke up feeling nauseous. Sometime in June, you supposed. A few days of vomiting and fatigue that made you feel like you’d been hit by a bus, and you had a telehealth appointment with your doctor to try and figure out what was going on. Given your symptoms, they’d asked you in for tests right away. A week or so later, you were back sitting in the doctor’s office awaiting the results, extra nervous because the COVID-19 restrictions meant that Calum couldn’t come in with you. You’d thought about FaceTiming him into the appointment, but there was something in the back of your mind telling you that you wanted to have a moment to yourself to process the news, whatever it was going to be.

When your doctor looked at you with a smile and told you that you were pregnant, all you could do was gape back at her in shock. It shouldn’t have come entirely as a surprise; you and Calum had spoken a few times about the vision you had for your future, and the uncertainty and restlessness that quarantine had given you made foregoing protection seem right, somehow (lovesick logic, or something like that). But it happening so quickly was unexpected. Your shock was soon replaced with tears of happiness, and you were already bursting at the seams to get home and tell Calum the news.

He was speechless at first, too, but then again Calum always was a man of few words. You’d kept it to yourselves for a little while, only discussing it in quiet whispers, or soft touches onto your non-existent bump, or sending links of cute baby things to one another via WhatsApp message. A few weeks later, you had your first scan, and this time Calum was allowed in the room. You could see his eyes light up when he heard the strong heartbeat on the monitor, and later he’d tell you how he immediately wanted to voicenote it on his phone to listen to while he was away on tour, or even mix it into a song.

Seeing that tiny blob on the screen and hearing the heartbeat honestly made your entire year, and from then on you couldn’t resist sharing your happiness with others. Video calls with yours and Calum’s parents, more happy tears and cheering from the soon-to-be first time grandparents.

The restrictions in California had eased a little, so you invited Ashton, Luke, Michael and their respective partners over for dinner one night. You’d prepared some cute greeting cards, one for each couple, thanking them for all of their support over the years with helping to protect your privacy with Calum, and slipped a copy of the baby scan with “see you in February” written on the back inside the card. Once everyone was settled onto the couches in the living room, waiting for dinner to be ready, you handed them out and sat down in Calum’s lap, taking a sip of your drink to try and hide the excitement on your face.

It was so amusing to observe the reactions that were representative of each couple. Michael and Crystal gasped and cheered, immediately pulling you and Calum into tight hugs. Ashton and KayKay were more reserved, but whispers of love and encouragement and happiness into your ears were so lovely and cherished. The tears in Sierra’s eyes, and the comfort of Luke’s squeeze of his arms around your waist said more than they could ever put into words.

The emotional celebrations soon turned into teasing jibes, and Ashton’s pitch for a new line of 5SOS baby merch. (“Come on guys, a baby-sized bucket hat? Tiny hoodies? Wildflower plush toys? A lullabies album? I’m telling you, there’s a whole WORLD of opportunity for us opening up right now!”), and you couldn’t help but feel both overjoyed and overwhelmed at how much this little baby was going to be surrounded with love and support for every day of their life.

The months carried on, and your once invisible baby bump grew and grew. You and Calum cleared out a spare room for the nursery, and got lost in furniture shopping and paint swatches and reading every parenting book you could get your hands on. There were doctors appointments, and birthing classes; lists of potential baby names on the fridge, and consulting your dog trainer on how best to introduce old man Duke to the idea of a new arrival.

As December approached, and you started getting into the festive spirit, Calum began returning to the studio as he and the guys toyed with some potential new directions for the next album. All of them had studios built into their homes, so they could meet and work together in relative safety, which was reassuring. You were standing over the kitchen sink one day, rinsing out the pan you’d used to make eggs for breakfast, when a searing pain in your abdomen had you groaning in discomfort and gripping onto the kitchen counter for dear life. The pain eased momentarily, and then came back stronger, and you managed to grab your phone from the counter and dial Calum’s number frantically as you gasped for breath.

The next few hours were a blur; Calum raced home to find you curled up in pain on the kitchen floor, Ashton and the paramedics were quick to follow him inside. They put you in an ambulance and took you straight to the hospital; you and Calum were gripping each other’s hand so tightly that your knuckles were white with stress.

The doctors determined you were in pre-term labour, and soon enough you were in a delivery room panting and pushing and crying out to Calum for comfort. It was all so terrifying and overwhelming but he was doing his best to ground you, brushing his fingers through your hair and holding your hand and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. When you finally delivered the baby, a hush fell over the room, and you could tell from the look on the faces of your doctor and nurses that something wasn’t right. 

The silence continued, and your heart broke when you realised that the baby hadn’t started to cry like you’d expected. The nurses had moved the infant over to another station, suctioning their airway and connecting them up to all manner of tubes and wires, but after a few moments your doctor told you the news. It was a baby girl, but her heartbeat wasn’t there. She’d come into the world and gone out again, just like that.

--

“I know a lot of people struggle to talk about stillbirths, and losing children, and it’s such a deeply personal thing so I get it. But it’s also grief, and loss, and emotions that you feel whenever you lose anyone you love. If there’s one thing I wish we could do more, as people in general, it’s discuss how we feel, and normalise having emotions, because it brings you closer and makes you feel less alone.” You spoke softly, blinking away the tears that had started to well in your eyes.

Andy nodded gently at you, before a quiet “Cal?” with an encouraging flick of his head.

Calum cleared his throat and glanced over at you before speaking. 

“I think that’s a huge part of why we wanted to be here today and talk about not only our relationship but losing Matilda in particular. It’s a sensitive topic, I know, especially for men, but holding back and bottling up your emotions isn’t good for anyone. Without her support in getting me to open up, or having the boys to listen to me cry and help me get some of my feelings out, in words and on this album, I don’t think I’d be in as good a place as I am now. It’s dark to think about, but important not to ignore, I think.”

“You’re so right, Cal. And Matilda is always going to be a part of our story, and we’re never going to forget how much we loved her and how much closer together she brought us,” You began, pausing briefly to squeeze Calum’s hand that had settled on your swollen stomach, “And when our little rainbow baby arrives in the next few weeks, I can’t wait to tell them about their sister, and how much she would’ve loved to meet them, but now she’s watching over them instead.”

“Exactly. We’re always going to have had Matilda, and then this little one, and however many others we decide to try and bring into the world. But it’s the love that builds you and the loss that breaks you that makes us who we are. Forever and always.” Calum’s voice was emotional, but also firm and calm, as he looked down at you and kissed you intently, his hand never leaving its spot on your bump, where your little rainbow baby was kickly softly at the sound of his voice.

“Forever and always.” You agreed, inhaling deeply and feeling a sense of deep peace and content wash over you.

More writing here | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here | if you’d like to be on my taglist go here

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#calum hood imagine #calum hood one shot #calum hood blurb #calum hood #calum hood fanfiction #my writing #tw pregnancy #tw miscarriage #tw stillbirth #tw pregnancy loss

[boba-beom]

Hi~! No need to apologise! I'm always happy for your replies. 🥰 I totally agree regarding the aesthetically pleasing movies! Also, it's actually the other way round for me; I haven't watched the Shadowhunters series, I've only watched the movie. I rarely watch Western shows these days, I feel like I can't commit myself to multiple seasons. 😅 I'm glad you enjoyed the series though. If you look at it this way, the fandom was lucky enough to choose from a movie or a series to watch.

Oh my gosh, what a coincidence! I had such music phases in my life, too! I've had my boyband phase with One Direction, Union J, JLS, Big Time Rush, The Vamps and 5SOS, then I've had my more emo phase with All Time Low, Imagine Dragons, the Arctic Monkeys, The 1975. I still listen to some of them though. Maybe kpop fans all started there. 😅 I got into kpop in 2015, I guess? It was through kdramas, the first band I listened to was Infinite because of L's acting. Then came EXO, VIXX, GOT7 and BTS.

With BTS, I started stanning them because of Dope, but I fell hard when I heard Let Me Know. I was so floored that the band with such title tracks has a song like this. 😭 The most beautiful moment in life era was my favourite, they were my ult group at that time. *-* Oh, it's totally okay! I stayed in Nottingham, I studied at NTU during the 2020 fall semester. They were one of the few UK partner unis I could apply to with the Erasmus+ scheme, and it's been my dream to stay in the UK longer

Sadly, it was cut short due to the delta variant. I couldn't go back in January, but the uni managed it well, so it was okay. Plus, while I was there, I could actually get my hands on The Vamps' new album, so even though there was no concert, I could get my first The Vamps album in the UK, so that was pretty cool. I've also seen some pretty cities before lockdown happened, so I've gotten the most out of it. *-* Where in UK are you from (if that's okay with you to share)? What's your fav UK city?

The Day6 concert was awesome! I sang so much that I could barely speak the next day haha. You were beautiful is indeed a beautiful song, I cried when the MV first came out. 🥺 Oh, les misérables, that must have been spectacular! I actually went to a Christmas market yesterday. I finally felt like I could get myself into the Christmas spirit. I hope you'll enjoy the market with your friends! 🥰 Your new year's eve sounds lovely! It's only me and my sisters who stay up late, my parents can't. 😅

Do you have any wishes or aspirations for next year? It doesn't have to be anything huge, just something that you're hoping for. Obviously, I hope covid will go away, but also, I'll try my best to stress less next year or do more self-care. *-* Anyways, I've seen your blog is 1-year-old! Congratulations, and also congrats for 800+ followers! 🎉🎉🎉 And don't worry, I talk so much, too, but it's because it's so nice talking to you. 🥰 Hope you have a lovely week ahead of you! Take care! ❤️ - ❄️

hi hi secret moa~

i agree with you on that, it's not all the time a fandom receives both a series and a movie so yes, we were lucky and spoiled for that hahah. i'm honestly fascinated by the fact that our music tastes were so similar before and when we got into kpop! listening to the 1975 always made me feel ✨things✨ and i'll do it again! and now there's chase atlantic with similar vibes and i'm not mad about it ^^ BUT OMG VIXX, I LOVED ERROR >< i would play it on the speakers from my ipod 1st gen HAHAH and my sister would literally hate me for blasting it aloud, but she ended up listening to kpop with me around that time too ✋😌

let me know was also one of my favourites!! honestly, i just loved all of their early songs, even though i wasn't really stanning them yet, but i like it and i like it pt 2 were always on repeat, i kid you not!! 🥺 omggg at Nottingham?! I'm just an hour away up north from there! how was the experience?? i'm happy you enjoyed staying in the uk even for a short while! i've just been wanting to leave and i was planning on going to san diego for a placement / internship but of course with covid in the way i wasn't able to do that, so i might go after i graduate just for some experience ^^ but i've always loved Manchester!! I was wanting to go there for university but I felt like the city was a bit too much for me to stay so I resorted to Sheffield which is the halfway point between where I live and Manchester~

regardless, i'm so glad you managed to get your hands on the vamps album!! my 13 yr old self is quaking rn 😭😭 i had a phat crush on bradly but then it was bradley, then connor then james after watching their cover of miley cyrus' we can't stop aaaaaaa <<< evidence they still have that little place in my heart, but i haven't listened to any of their new songs since i listened kpop AHAH but you're so lucky to have gone to day6's concert!! i wanna experience that one day, just to sing without having a care whether i have a voice the next day or not omg

i went to the christmas market too a couple of days ago with my friends, and there was this swing ride that only a few of us went on. ngl i haven't been on a ride since late summer and the last ride was the claw 😭 it was truly something because i felt like screaming but i didn't want to at the same time AHAH we had the cheesy sausage and shared some giant churros ^^ and i mean— the parents usually drink to their heart's content and use the karaoke machine, but me and my friends usually just chill in their rooms and talk about anything and everything! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NEXT FRIDAY:'D

I think my wishes are just for the safety and health of my friends and family, along with university going well! self care sounds good, and definitely, the first step to self care is to stress less hehe~ AAA AND THANK YOU! i'm so glad I managed to keep this blog for a year despite all the shenanigans going on irl, but truly, thank you!! I'm just so excited to know who you are in just a few days, and that we can stay in touch here and interact more hehe i'm intrigued to read your works too! talking to you takes me so long to type but i love it HAHAH I hope you have a wonderful week ahead of you<33 sending hugs ^^

#[ 🪴 ] — asks. #Secret MOA ❄️

[honeyopinion]

20/20 Albums of the Year

Circles by Mac Miller  |  Hip-Hop, Soul, Funk Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For... Pouring One Out for Mac

I wrote a few different drafts of this album summary, and none of them felt like they really fit the impossibly large bill of accurately describing the posthumous importance or brilliance of this album. If you are a fan of hip-hop or soul music of any kind, try to give this piece of work a chance. I for one, used to judge Mac based on his early frat rap days in the late 2000s. But a decade later he came to leave the world with one of the most surprising and frankly impressive artistic evolutions that I’ve been able to witness in real time. RIP Mac. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Circles” or “Everybody”

Marigold by Pinegrove  |  Alternative Country and Folk Rock Released: January 17, 2020

Best Album For… Passing Through a Small Town on a Cloudy Winter Day 

Pinegrove was one of the last great concerts I got to experience before the pandemic. And it was my favorite performance of theirs from the last 6 years of seeing them play live. Is this my favorite album of theirs? Honestly, it’s not. But I still find it extremely enjoyable, and the memory of seeing these songs performed live, along with some of their classics, was enough for me to include it on this list. This is an album that marks Pinegrove’s exit from their pop punk roots. It’s still sentimental, but much more country and folk rock focused vs. anything trying to be associated with emo or punk. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora   Start With: “The Alarmist” or “No Drugs”

Watch This Liquid Pour Itself by Okay Kaya  |  Synth Pop, Art Rock, Folk Released: January 24, 2020

Best Album For… Crywanking at 3am, Bathed in The Dull Light of Your Overheating Laptop

What if Feist and Father John Misty had a secret love child? They might sound something like Okay Kaya. Self proclaimed “Singer ~ Crywanker,” Okay Kaya brings serious BDE to weirdo art pop that she seems like she could be a plant  from the mind of Nathan Fielder. Kaya delivers with such deadpan precision as she rolls out line after line of sarcastic joy, staring blankly at our dystopian reality. “Here I am, the whole world is my daddy,” “Netflix and yeast infection,” “Sex with me is mediocre,” “I just want us to do well like Jon Bon Jovi’s Rosê,” and, “My parasite and I are blushing / In the zero interaction ramen bar,” are just a few examples of some of her memorable and biting lyrics. The entire album is both a critique and nihilistic fondness for the absurdity of our lonely technological society, not quite sure how to deal with taboos like repressed female sexuality, depression, and codependency. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Baby Little Tween” or “Asexual Wellbeing”

UNLOCKED by Denzel Curry and Kenny Beats  |  Hip-Hop Released: February 7, 2020

Best Album For... Nodding Your Damn Head To, Feeling Cooler Than You Actually Are

I had to double check that this was an album. Clocking in under 20 minutes, this collection of songs feels more like an EP, especially with the track titles that purposefully look like file names and placeholders. But for a short album, Denzel wastes no time, furiously zigging and zagging effortlessly over Kenny Beats’ 90s New York-indebted production (ad libs and all). Kenny pulls out samples of an array of pop culture references made by Denzel (like quotes from movies and weapon sound effects like a lightsaber) — as he rotates his flow between admirable impressions of DMX, Nas, and Joey Bada$$.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “So.Incredible.pkg” or “DIET_”

Cardboard City by Zack Villere  |  Pop, Electronic, R&B Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For… Pal-ing Around With Your Friends From High School, Maybe Quoting Superbad At The Same Time

The first time I watched a music video from Zack Villere, I noticed the top comment said: “how did frank ocean get trapped in mark zuckerberg.” And while that definitely gets at the heart of how Zack Villere presents himself, he is not a phenomenal singer like Frank Ocean is, nor does he come off as an asshole like Mark Zuckerberg does. I would say that he is just a slightly awkward nerdy white guy who loves hip-hop production and R&B melodies. So the better question is really, “how did drake get trapped in michael cera?” This premise should not work at all, but somehow it does. This is only Villere’s second album, but he shows some serious production and songwriting chops, plus a commitment to his delivery that comes across as genuine, charming, and unique. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Grateful” or “Superhero Strength”

The Slow Rush by Tame Impala  |  Psych Rock, Synth Pop, Disco Released: February 14, 2020

Best Album For... Throwing a Silent Disco For One 

Tame Impala continues on their now 10 year streak of psych rock dominance. Along the way we’ve seen Kevin Parker master and stretch the boundaries of psychedelic production. This has resulted in his music coming as close to sounding like the best aspects of The Beatles, while also expanding into hip hop drums, R&B hooks, plus more and more electronic elements. This is an album that I was not super impressed with when it initially came out, but as we entered the pandemic and were tasked with finding small joys in staying at home all the time, I found myself going back to this album and appreciating the themes of solitude and self reflection that Parker has drawn from throughout his career.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Posthumous Forgiveness” or “One More Hour”

1988 by Knxwledge  |  Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Pumping Your Brakes and Driving Slow, Uh *Homie* Although this album is named after a year in the 80s, the sound here is a perfect portal back to 90s golden era hip-hop, with all the gospel, soul samples, and the kind of deep bass you want to feel in your chest. This is the rare, largely instrumental hip-hop album that I find myself going back to, other than works from the legendary J Dilla and MF Doom. Knxwledge is good friends and a frequent collaborator with Anderson .Paak (in the form of NxWorries). Here we get Anderson to grace us with his presence on the track “itkanbe[sonice]”, and of course it sounds just like an authentic vintage soul sample. When I hear this collection of songs it makes me wish I still had a car, so I could inevitably damage my speakers listening to this.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “dont be afraid” or “thats allwekando.”

Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa  |  Pop, R&B, Funk, Disco Released: March 27, 2020 Best Album For... Alarming Your Pet With Your Enthusiastic Lip Syncing

This album is a pure sugar rush. Like Bruno Mars with the help of Mark Ronson, or Calvin Harris a few years ago, Dua has harnessed a nostalgia (it’s even in the title, wink) for disco, funk and R&B, and is instantly a sexy, catchy, not-so-guilty pleasure. It’s sad that the majority of these songs are all bonafide club hits that didn’t have a proper home this year … except for my living room. And hopefully yours.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Pretty Please” or “Future Nostalgia”

Hold Space For Me by Orion Sun  |  Alternative R&B and Hip-Hop Released: March 27, 2020

Best Album For... Wishing Frank Ocean Was Your Dad

“Alternative R&B” is a contentious term, but what else would you call one of a few R&B singers cool enough to make it onto (NYC indie darlings) Mom+Pop Records?? On one hand, she brings the vulnerable and introverted lyrics of an indie singer songwriter like Tracey Chapman, crossed with the raw presence and sweet melodic delivery of a true R&B star like Aaliyah. I’d even go far enough to refer to her as the musical stepchild of Frank Ocean and SZA.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora

Start With: “Ne Me Quitte Pass (Don’t Leave Me)” or “Lightning”

You and Your Friends by Peach Pit  |  Indie Rock and Dream Pop Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Going Back To Your College Town To Crash A Party

Peach Pit seem like they would be cool dudes to hang out with. You have no problem picturing them as the band playing a house show in an indie movie about college kids. And that’s because there’s a familiarity to the scenes that their songs portray, of stumbling through your 20s, either being too dumb or having too much fun to notice. It’s funny to refer to this as “Indie” rock since this is Peach Pit’s major label debut with Columbia Records. But It has all the trappings of Indie; sticky melodies, gentle reverb, an “I’m not trying that hard” vibe, and lyrics that are oddly specific enough to be interesting, but still vague enough to be relatable.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Feelin’ Low (Fuckboy Blues)” or “Shampoo Bottles”

Heaven To a Tortured Mind by Yves Tumor  |  Psych Rock, Indie Pop, Post-Punk, Alternative R&B, Experimental Electronic Released: April 3, 2020

Best Album For... Tearing Up The Fucking Dance Floor With Your Hot Robot Girlfriend

If Tyler the Creator, Alex G, King Krule, and Blood Orange all got into the studio together and dropped a shit ton of acid on Halloween, their recording session might sound something like Heaven To a Tortured Mind… And even then, you still might have trouble putting your finger on exactly what you’re hearing. “Dream Palette” is a good reference track for Tumor’s most wild and mesmerizing qualities. The biggest styles of the past half century of music have been loaded into this gleefully effective genre blender, with blades of dissonance slicing everything up, creating a surrealist sonic smoothie.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Super Stars” or “Dream Palette”

The New Abnormal by The Strokes  |  Indie Rock, Dirtbag Disco, Synth Pop Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Mixing Yourself Another Drink This Saturday Night

Back from the dead, The Strokes return with their first album in 7 years to turn some heads and settle back into some old habits. The charming messy haired garage rock of the early 2000s still pops up here and there, but this is really a record where the group is mature enough to show you that they actually are trying, and are unafraid to take joyous swings for the fences. Julian Casablancas pushes his scratchy alley cat yelp of a voice into something more vulnerable, sunny, and sweet, like he asked for a piña colada (you know, with one of those little umbrellas) instead of a double shot of scotch before hopping up on stage… Or maybe he did both. But these days, everyone is looking for some sort of break from our groundhog day lives any way that we can. Sometimes that sounds like selling out, or depending on how you look at it, stepping up. This album is the result of a group of old friends who got together to make music they simply want to make for themselves. Now far removed from the 2000s New York scene where their younger selves were acting too cool and disaffected to care about having fun.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Eternal Summer” or “The Adults Are Talking”

The Loves of Your Life by Hamilton Leithauser  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: April 10, 2020

Best Album For... Drinking Down At The Docks, Watching The Sun Set

While I am a fan of The Walkmen, I have no idea what their frontman Hamilton Leithauser looks like or how he dresses. But hearing these songs off of his latest solo, I imagine the following: a member of Mumford and Sons if they were edgy and cooler, giving off a “cowboy rocker meets depression-era dock worker” aesthetic. That’s exactly how his music comes off to me. It’s a convincing blend of blues rock, Americana, and old timey country music. All expertly narrated by dusty country guitars and standup bass, tarnished horns and flutes, and what I imagine to be a restored saloon piano. The Loves of Your Life originally started as a collection of short stories, each about characters based on both people he knew and strangers. Leithauser then wrote the music separately, and finally came to mix and match their parts together in a surprisingly convincing fashion to create the album.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Wack Jack” or “Cross-Sound Ferry (Walk-On Ticket)”

What Kinda Music by Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes  |  Neo-Soul, Electronic, Hip-Hop

Released: April 24, 2020

Best Album For... Cooking For Someone You’re In Love With

Exactly what kind of music do Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes make? It’s orchestral, it’s jazz-infused, it’s hip-hop beats joined with gentle soul. It’s a little sexy, it’s a little mysterious, and you’re going to want to listen to it a whole lot. That’s it. That’s what kind of music it is! Send tweet. 

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “What Kinda Music” or “Storm Before The Calm”

Petals For Armor by Hayley Williams  |  Electronic Pop and Art Rock Released: May 8, 2020

Best Album For... Browsing Depop for Your Next 80s Normcore ‘Fit

Hayley, Hayley, Hayley. You are too good for this wretched world!! After exploring more adventurous sounds and genre hopping over the last few Paramore records, Hayley decided to go out on her own. This really frees herself from the expectations that come along with being the face and heart of a wildly popular band for the last 15+ years. Thom Yorke fans rejoice, because Hayley Williams has a clear admiration for Radiohead’s haunting indie electronic vibe, while emoting some pain and darkness atop her love for 80s pop and art rock (think Genesis, Devo, The Talking Heads). This is a promising new avenue for Hayley to explore herself and process her pain and desire completely on her own. I see this new project of hers only blooming further from here.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Simmer” or “Sudden Desire” 

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately by Perfume Genius  |  Indie Pop and Art Rock Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Daydreaming That You Were Somewhere Else

For his 5th studio album, Perfume Genius enlists production wizard and guitar god Blake Mills, along with Grammy Award-winning arranger and multi-instrumentalist Rob Moose to create a beautiful swirling mosaic of 80s pastel pop that also packs serious classic rock grandeur. Bass guitar dances between satin smooth lines on one song to churning distorted currents on the next. Sparkling string arrangements and organs bleed together to expose a fading sunset that you’ll want to try and hold in your hands to keep it in sight. Perfume Genius is unafraid to challenge traditional masculinity, packing a 21st century queer machismo into both the quiet moments and jubilant explosions.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora 

Start With: “Without You” or “Describe”

græ by Moses Sumney  |  Indie Pop, Art Rock, Neo-Soul, Psychic Folk Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Astral Projection 101 

I mean this in the best way possible, but I think that Moses Sumney is a witch. Or maybe a wizard? There’s no other reasonable explanation for the level of creativity and wonder that he summons. This album feels like a private concert by a waterfall (similar to one on the cover), with ethereal pleas, and heavy ideas—like meditating on what lies beyond the constraints of the physical self and reconsidering how well we can actually trust memory and the mind. Sumney layers his voice to create the effect of a ghostly choir, accented by a stark intimidating falsetto that reverberates through the ruins of an abandoned temple where Sumney is the only one in attendance.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  

Start With: “Cut Me” or “Polly”

WILL THIS MAKE ME GOOD by Nick Hakim  |  Psychedelic Neo-Soul Released: May 15, 2020

Best Album For... Playing Pool in a Hazy Dive Bar

Nick Hakim is a silky smooth smokey crooner who paints with warbly piano loops, dreamy reverb-heavy guitar, boom bap beats—not to mention a falsetto that would make Smokey Robinson jealous. Clearly a fan of Motown and 60s jazz, Hakim could be considered a peer of Thunder Cat and Anderson .Paak’s to a degree. I remember seeing him perform at Music Hall of Williamsburg a few years ago. The performance ended with him falling down on stage (presumably from being under the influence of multiple substances). But while the song continued he popped back up and belted an impressive high note like it was nothing, drink in hand. And it’s that kind of messy beauty that also makes this album so engrossing. Like watching the eye of the storm get closer and closer, but unable to look away from the sheer magnetism that nature can wield.

Spotify      Apple Music      YouTube      Pandora  Start With: “All THESE CHANGES” or “ALL THESE INSTRUMENTS”

RTJ4 by Run The Jewels  |  Hip-Hop Released: June 3, 2020

Best Album For... Making Your Next Protest Sign

Run The Jewels’ fourth outing might be the most unapologetically angry rap album in the “fuck this” year of 2020. And it reminded me that I should absolutely still be furious about everything that happened during this groundbreaking yet terrifyingly familiar year: country wide protests over the continued murder of innocent black people at the hands of the police, government drone strikes and detaining kids in cages, the state of our environment worsening—and that’s not even addressing the pandemic or election. Killer Mike and El-P are here to scream from the rooftops that our current system of cutthroat capitalism and white supremacy is killing the planet and its inhabitants, and I’m glad that they’re using their platform to continue to sound the alarm.

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Start With: “out of sight” or “ooh la la”

Your Hero Is Not Dead by Westerman  |  New Wave Revival and Indie Pop Released: June 5, 2020 Best Album For... Wanting Your Old School MTV

The cover of Westerman’s first proper album is mostly black and white, except for the title, which is scrawled out in lettering which spans the Crayola color spectrum. It’s an album that on the surface is cold and buttoned up, but when these choruses open up, the maximalist 80s power pop bursts like the bulbs of a neon sign. There’s a level of even-keeled cool and confidence in small moments on display here that makes this relatively new artist seem well beyond his years. Having seen him play at Rough Trade a few years ago (opening up for the stellar Puma Blue), the songwriting growth on display on this record is impressive. I’m only sad that there wasn’t an opportunity to have seen him play these new songs live.

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Start With: “Easy Money” or “Confirmation (SSBD)” 

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers  |  Indie Rock and Alternative Country Released: June 18, 2020

Best Album For... Burning Incense and Breaking Out a Ouija Board to Talk to The Ghost of Your Former Self

This is without a doubt, a career defining release for Phoebe. Taking everything she’s learned from writing, performing, and touring with the likes of Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker (in boygenius), and Conor Oberst (in Better Oblivion Community Center), Bridgers levels up to become the truly prolific singer-songwriter she’s been telling us she would always be. Bridgers has explained her personal definition of “a punisher” as a well meaning person who’s, “just talking to you and they don’t realize that your eyes are glazed over and you’re trying to escape.” Vital to understanding this album and its central message is that Phoebe finds herself caught between the contradiction of falling victim to this phenomenon while also doing it herself, especially if she ever met her musical idol, Elliott Smith. Punisher serves as a warning to her audience that if you focus too much on trying to find yourself through other people (via escaping through fandom, drugs, toxic relationships), you’ll always feel lost and dissatisfied, without the proper self awareness to ever quite know why. 

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Start With: “Garden Song” or “ICU”

Women In Music Pt. III by HAIM  |  Rock, Pop, Folk, R&B Released: June 26, 2020

Best Album For... Preparing For A Better 2021, lol 

With this album, HAIM skyrocketed to the #1 position of family bands that start with an “H.” Sorry, Hanson! But seriously, HAIM has outdone themselves on this one. If there was one album from this list that I would dub my personal AOTY, this would be it. You might wince at any tracklist longer than 10-12 songs these days (I know I usually do), but almost every song proves itself worthy, pulling at a different thread of my heart until there’s nothing left. Sunshine State Beach Pop? Check. Blues Tinged Dad Rock? Yup! Dive Bar Country? Mmhmm! No, wait, what’s that you say, Glitched-Out R&B? Yes, yes, and yes. You can have it all, sister! ‘Cause when you’re Haim, you’re family! ;) And these three “women in music” continue to prove that they are just about the best Assorted Pop Rocks(™) act in the world right now.

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Start With: “I’ve Been Down” or “Don’t Wanna”

Lianne La Havas by Lianne La Havas  |  Neo-Soul and Indie Pop Released: July 17, 2020

Best Album For... Sipping Coffee and Journaling on a Weekend Morning

This album exudes a warm vulnerability, like a comforting hug we all needed this year. On her third album, Lianne La Havas makes the risky decision to self title it, a move that artists make when they believe that it is the piece of work that they most want most directly associated with their name. It’s one thing to name your first album after yourself if you can’t think of anything else at the time, but to make a self titled album in the middle of your career, it means that you are sure about having captured who you really are and who you want people to remember you as. “If I love myself, I know I can't be no one else,” La Havas admits on the standout track, “Paper Thin.” She knows that she will meet her destiny and reach self actualization, but only through self love. And finally, I cannot overstate how breathtaking La Havas’s voice comes across on this album. The strength and control on display in her vocal tone and vibrato is quite a spectacle. 

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Start With: “Paper Thin” or “Sour Flower”

Limbo by Aminé  |  Hip-Hop and R&B Released: August 7, 2020

Best Album For... Trying and Get Over Kanye With

On Limbo, Aminé establishes himself as one of the torchbearers of soul-sampling, lyrics-driven hip-hop that still cares about storytelling, skits, and presenting vocals clearly. Kanye West, Drake, and J. Cole all paved the way for someone from the next generation like Aminé to keep the dream alive and avoid succumbing to the “feel good, don’t think” form of passive listening that mumble rap has made the standard for mainstream hip-hop.

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Start With: “Pressure In My Palms” or “My Reality”

Shore by Fleet Foxes  |  Folk and Indie Rock Released: September 22, 2020

Best Album For... Running Along The Beach With Your Arms Stretched Out

It was really kind of Robin Pecknold and co. to have released an album this triumphant, calming, and awe-inspiring during the year of our Lorde 2020. On behalf of myself and anyone else who suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, the SAD people of the world really needed this, man. And to anyone who is quick to judge these beard-o’s of being boring, you’re simply not using your ears properly. Yeah, you know those two things on either side of your head? Get the gunk out of them! That way you’ll hear the choir of angels with acoustic guitars who are here to guide us through quarantine and beyond. 

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Start With: “Can I Believe You” or “A Long Way Past The Past” 

Listen to all of these albums together in our playlist.

#best music 2020 #music 2020 #best of 2020 #best albums 2020 #best new album 2020 #mac miller #pinegrove #okay kaya #denzel curry #kenny beats #zack villere #tame impala #knxwledge #dua lipa #orion sun #peach pit #yves tumor #the strokes #hamilton leithauser #tom misch #yussef dayes #hayley williams #perfume genius #moses sumney #nick hakim #run the jewels #westerman #phoebe bridgers #haim #liannelahavas

[koriahorrocks]

The Format

The Format

             I come from Mesa Arizona, a teen in the early years of the 2000’s. What a great time to be a teenager. A simpler time. No real social media or politics (for teens to care about at least). Music was life. Alternative and indie rock was in a unique prime. From angsty emo tunes to mellow ballads.

           In middle school I had been really into Weezer and The strokes. I sported a strokes patch on my binder and a kid burned me a Pinkerton Cd to which I was very grateful. My sister had shown me modest mouse which I liked but some of it still felt weird. While navigating my way through music during that music age and during those pivotal coming of age years in my life; I needed to decided what music was “me.” It was a process to select music that felt my own. I didn’t really enjoy most main stream stuff like hip hop or rap. But I didn’t totally feel myself listening to some of the underground music I was exposed to either. Of course there were classics but those were beloved by everyone.

           The Format was that band whose songs felt like my own. The music was mellow but fun to sing out loud. Nate had a unique voice but it didn’t sound strange. On the contrary I soon craved that voice. I had found MY music.

Most people first heard of the Format with “tune out” I think I first heard it on the radio. “The first single” and “give it up” really were the first tracks that called to me when I listened to a bit of interventions and lullabies. The EP songs were really good too. I wanted more but it was enough to last through the start of High school. I got my first car. An old blue 96’ Honda Civic with a faded roof. I saved up for a black paint job and named her black beauty. (With the fuzzy blue interior still included) I sang my heart out in that car. Through speeding tickets and every social event of my life. My trusty cd’s saw me through. The selection of music for each drive in that car were the bread and butter to my teenage days.

My senior year I worked part time at mesa public schools for class credit. I didn’t have a lot to do there so I spent most of the time in my cubical using a program to design CD labels. Using the school’s dime to print dozens of them I decorated my favorite cds. Music was life. I loved singing certain songs in my car more than I loved any boy I dated. I felt more feelings during a show and at concerts than I did at a dance with a date.

When Dog Problems came out I can vividly remember driving around for an hour with a car filled with teens to listen to the whole album. My best girlfriends and I had befriended a group of guys who loved the Format as much as I did. They definitely encouraged my girlfriends to like the band more, for that I was grateful. These boys truly got the talent of the format. We drove up and down the 101 and around the valley just reveling in the new album.

“It sounds more circus-y”

“Ya, more instruments and jazzy.”

“It’s so different. Play dog problems again so we can learn the words at that one part.”

           It was an album to play on repeat. While getting ready, driving to Scottsdale to nanny on the weekend, down the street to the store or to the Harkins movie theatre. 

Any chance I got to hear Nate’s voice and Sam’s guitar. Then the summer after I graduated, I finally got to see them live on the dog problems tour. To this day it holds the greatest moment in my long history of live music.

           During the song dog problems when Nate sang “flew back to phoenix…” he paused and then stopped altogether and put the mic down while the crowd cheered for probably three minutes straight. He looked like he might cry and we all were. Then he finished that part with the spazy yell/singing while his hands shook at his sides (the way only he can do) and it was incredible. It was then I discovered I needed to hear some songs live. I didn’t need to be in the front row, just present in the same room to hear songs that I had long loved on my car stereo. The compromise was always the song on that album that was mine. I sang it in my car and in the shower with all that I was. Matches was such a new sound and feel for me with Format music and it starts off the album Dog problems so well.

            I saw All American Rejects in concert twice on the same tour just to see The Format open for them. I went in AZ and UT, not so much for them, but it was my only way to see The Format live again. After a while, The Format didn’t have enough albums to fill my music needs. Especially the more I had to commute for work and all the driving during weekends for my social life. 

But it has consistently remained the band that I feel the most connection with for whatever reason. Most bands I really like one or two songs. Maybe more. But The Format I love every song and know every word. That isn’t impressive but it’s consistently true. 

Life has gone on I left Arizona and now live elsewhere. Arizona isn’t my home anymore but when I drive back to visit family I can’t listen to anything else from the 101 to east Mesa than The Format. Nate’s voice brings me back to my roots and my teen years that I rather enjoyed. I don’t have many regrets. What could be better for a teenager in Mesa during 2006 than driving around listening to the Format?

           When I heard the news that Sam and Nate were parting ways I was sad. The news of FUN down the road intrigued me. I went to a show in Tucson the first time FUN went around. Some of the songs were so dang catchy and new. Anything new and anything more with Nate’s voice was like a breath of fresh air for me and my burned out playlists. But during the show I found myself mostly excited to hear some old Format songs. It was a small show, we snagged the set list that was scribbled on a ripped sheet of lined paper in heavy black marker. And we even met Nate.

           He seemed pretty high but that didn’t matter. We took a picture with him and it wasn’t as pivotal as I thought meeting a singer would be. It was very underwhelming and honestly that was okay. Hearing him live was better than meeting him. I realized it wasn’t the band or the singer, it was their work that I loved.

           I got to see Fun again when their next album and tour came. It was last minute and I went with a friend whom I didn’t know from high school in my early Format days, but she and I sang and danced to the new hit songs now playing on the radio, super bowl commercials and TV shows. FUN had certainly taken off. I felt very happy for Nate, and I truly loved hearing him sing live again. But it didn’t live up to that dog problems tour when I first saw The format, and nothing ever will.

           Sharing music you love and the joy you feel when you hear someone listening to it is almost as wonderful as hearing it for the first time yourself. A cousin of mine really appreciated The Format. I remember him calling me and asking me what I thought about certain lines and lyrics from certain songs. We speculated about Nate and Sam’s lives and wondered what they meant.

           I also remember hearing his dad randomly sitting down with a guitar while I was visiting them once and I heard him start to play something from interventions and lullabies. They gave me the credit. It felt good. Another time this same extended family of mine were driving me somewhere and excitedly turned on a song by pink and awaited my reaction. Curious why they were showing me the song I waited until my ears perked at a familiar voice.

           “Hey is this…Nate from the Format singing with her?”

           “Took you long enough” they laughed.

I could have done nothing better for my cousins than share my music with them. And it certainly was MY music. I claimed ownership of loving the Format. As I’m sure many teens from Arizona at that time did too. But for me, it was especially true!

           It’s been more than a decade since I found them, so much life and music has occurred but today my sister tagged me in a post about the Format reuniting this year. 12 years after their split. Even more years since I first heard them. I immediately wanted to buy a plane ticket to go back to AZ this coming April to be present for it. I’m not sure if I will be able to though. I have kids and responsibilities so I decided to write this in case I don’t. Just to try out painting a picture with my thoughts and words about a band I love with songs I know every single word to and will never forget. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my Spotify playlist today kept playing format songs while on shuffle.

            When my kids are teens I doubt they’ll like my music that I show them.  They don’t like it now when I play it casually some days. Times are different. Music is different. But I am so glad I lived where I did and at the time I did. A time when those simple days called for simple and wonderful alternative music. 

I’ll always clap at that part in the first single after he says

“Cause a scene..” and again after he sings “Clap our hands and stomp our feet..” 

When I hear someone say Tempe I’ll think of “A save situation.” When he sings “I need to get back to Tempe.” When I hear the word calm I’ll think of “Be calm” from FUN. When I hear Nate’s solo stuff like “I am nothing without love.” I will think of The Format. And when I hear anything about Lena Dunham my mind will undoubtedly go off road to a trail about her and Jack Antonoff and how he was in FUN and Nate from Fun then I will circle back to: you guessed it, The Format. I will wonder what Sam is up to and think about the song “A mess to be made” or “Career day.”  

Thank you Nate Ruess and Sam Means! Maybe I will see you in Phoenix in April. But if not I’ll watch you live on Amazon Prime and I’ll keep playing your songs on Spotify, even if my young kids don’t like it. I’ll love your sound forever.

#theformat #nateruess #sammeans #fun #arizona #reunion #nostaliga #music #dogproblems

[nikatyler]

Oooh boy. Why do I feel like I should go straight to the replies, or else I will start talking about having a crush again? No one cares, I’m annoying, I’m sorry. Yesterday around midnight, I actually caved and told my best friend because I just couldn’t keep my feelings to myself any longer, and I was pleasantly surprised by her reaction. I didn’t want to tell her at first because we kinda tend to turn this kind of stuff into jokes, but I guess she did figure out that this time, it’s serious serious - THERE WE GO I’M OVERSHARING AGAIN I AM AN IDIOT. Anyway did I mention I love her? I don’t deserve her. She’s the best, you guys don’t even know her but I just wanted to give her a little shoutout because damn, thanks for yesterday, I thought I would explode. Also, she has an important exam in a week, so if you could send positive vibes her way, that would be great.

By the time you’re seeing this replies, I think I’m playing with Realm of Magic. I’m so excited! Last time I bought a pack on release day was with Seasons. I’m not sure who I will play this with yet. Maybe with Lucian and his girlfriend. I really hope you can somehow turn an alien into a spellcaster, even if that means he’d no longer be an alien. I don’t mind that. Whoops, hold on, was that a spoiler? Yeah, uh, Lucian is a teenager in my game at the moment, he has a girlfriend and he’s not very alien-y and I don’t care about that. Honestly…when have my aliens ever been alien-y? Miracle was the only one and she hated that (and 2019 Ronnie hates that she hated that but 2017 Ronnie didn’t know any better, long story).

Witches are something I’ve wanted in this game for a long time, so they better be good or else I’ll cry. Next up…I know everyone wants university, and I think we’ll get it, but to be fair, I don’t care about it that much. I’ll be playing university irl so I guess that makes sense. 😂 I would really like something like a band game pack, where you can form a band and have concerts and write music and…just do musician stuff, I guess. I was hoping bands would be added in Get Famous but nah, it was pretty much just acting…which I still haven’t explored. 🤦‍♀️ But yeah, band game pack is like my dream. I’m guessing it could be retro themed too, and have many references to some iconic bands?? Imagine if it was like 70s-80s inspired. Imagine THE HAIR. Did I mention I will defend weird 80s hair until the day I die? Yeah. I would really love that. I’m not saying I think a pack like this will happen, but it would be an absolute dream if it did.

TL;DR: I have a crush, I’m playing Realm of Magic and I want a band themed game pack.

autistichatkid replied to your post “Oh wow guess who’s putting nsb on long lifespan because even though…”

psa: you can use mccc to customize lifespan length!!! i dont like how fast normal goes but long is like. So Long. so i use mccc to make everything just a Lil Longer

I know you can do that, I don’t know how but it’s possible, yes! I’m not sure if I want to go for that though, I mean MCCC breaks with almost every update and knowing me, I would forget to fix my settings every single time. I think I’ll just use ea’s long lifespan and then age up people when I feel like aging them up.

desira-sims replied to your post “hey years ago you said you liked symphonic metal, do you still listen…”

Care to share some of your favorites? I’ve been in a music listening mood but feel in a rut.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “hey years ago you said you liked symphonic metal, do you still listen…”

I also don’t listen to e. g. often nowadays and… Their latest album was not my cup of tea except for song or two. And my music preference is now “whatever pleases my ears” even if it will make anyone else’s ear bleed��

Yeah sure, I can share my faves from 2-3 years ago! I’m not saying “from the genre” because I know some of these aren’t that symphonic, at this point it’s all a blur to me, to be fair. Besides, I stopped caring about genres, so…yeah. Just pointing that out so no one comes for me like “how dare you say band xy is that genre”. 

Anyway, 2-3 years ago I really loved Nightwish, Within Temptation and Sonata Arctica, those were like my holy trinity, I would listen to them all the time, every single day. The latest WT album wasn’t really my cup of tea, I like their older stuff way more. SA released a new album last week, I kinda liked it but it wasn’t love at first listen. I’ll have to go back to form an opinion on it. Again, their older stuff is better in my opinion. Nightwish…I don’t know if it’s still going on, but people really liked comparing the three different singers they’ve had, and I don’t know why, I think they’re all amazing in their own way. I believe I’ve read on Instagram that new album is coming next year and I’m so excited for that. I don’t think there’s a Nightwish album I disliked.

I also really liked Delain and…Stratovarius, I think it was called? One summer I also listened to Epica a lot, but then all their songs started sounding the same to me. Sorry to any Epica fans that might be following me 😅 And I’m fairly sure I’m forgetting someone, but I believe there should be playlists on Spotify easy to find.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Updates”

Unfortunately I didn’t manage to create a possible spouse(( but I hope there’ll be other possibilities!XD

And good luck!

There definitely will be! Lately, I kinda hate every sim I create, sooo…I’ll leave that for someone else :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “That morning, when Vanessa was leaving for work, I had a bad feeling….”

I don’t like this!

I didn’t think this would freak people out so much…but it did…and I’m really sorry :D

1o8percent replied to your photoset “Roxanne: Maybe if I go to bed, it’ll just come to me in a dream. I…”

I’ve definitely had story ideas come to me in a dream. I got several ideas for my completed legacy that way, so good luck Roxanne!

When I’m writing something late at night and I get stuck, it actually helps me to turn off the computer and go think about the story in bed. And ta-da, I suddenly get ideas! Some of them get lost as soon as I fall asleep, but usually the right direction stays in my head and I’m ready to pick it up as soon as I sit down to write again.

igglemouse replied to your photoset Roxy, the interaction said “feel tummy”, not “take the baby out of…”

She just can’t wait to meet her new sibling XD

That’s actually terrifying D:

brightlysimming replied to your post “I got a hug from a girl I barely know and now I’m emo, I already love…”

Aa!! That’s so great! I’m happy you had a good time!!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I got a hug from a girl I barely know and now I’m emo, I already love…”

Congratulations! I hope you’ll have fun there! ��

I’m still not over that last weekend. Everyone was so nice and kind and fun and I loved talking to these people so much, uni will be great with them ;-; 

The best surprise to me was that there was this person, and they would come to me a few times and ask if I wanted to hang out with them away from the drunk crowds?? (we’re Czech, of course 95% of people who went to that trip got drunk in the evening -_- :D) And that was just so nice? I’m not used to people wanting to hang out with me. Also, we had great time together, if they called now I would quit everything to hang out with them :D

I’m about to start crying again. To all you lonely people struggling out there, trust me, it gets better, you’re not always going to be lonely and miserable. I thought that would be my case, but nope, things are starting to look better. And they will eventually start looking better for you too, I just know it. Don’t give up <3

lilleputtu replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”

she’d look so cute with short hair! also it’s the sims, she can insta regrow it it’ll be fiiiiine

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”

One of the best things I ever did was put Cassandra Goth in a pixie cut. Doooo eeeet.

autistichatkid replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”

������

deathflowertea replied to your photoset “*whispers* guys i wanna chop sunset’s hair off”

1 & 4 are ��

I think it’s official, we’ll be chopping Sunset’s hair off, yay!

desira-sims replied to your photoset “Meet the Teens! These guys will join my two girls, Crystal and…”

School and real life comes first, but I’ll be excited to see these simmies pop up when the time comes. ��

So am I! I’m not sure what to do right now. I want to play RoM, but when I come back to my NSB…do I finish Sunset’s generation requirements first, or do I just slowly start throwing these teens in? Kind of like I started working on Ross’s aspiration when it was technically still the Mint gen. Eh, I’ll figure it out.

tashsim replied to your post “URL Song Tag”

have to get up at 5:30 for a next month. feel your pain..

That’s not great D: I think I’d have to do that too, if I wasn’t moving to a dorm in Prague later this month. Spending so much time on the train and having to wake up so early would kill me.

elisabettasims replied to your post “Ahh, of course. I kinda forgot that I would get tan in summer, today I…”

I feel this on a personal level.

I kinda never had to deal with this before because I’ve been using foundation only for a year or so. And I’m fairly sure I’m using a lighter one now, because I definitely didn’t feel like a vampire last September :D

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Scarlett: “I saw you helped extinguish the flames too.” Talia: “I…”

talia… wyd

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Scarlett: “Well, uhh, you didn’t mess up, so…” Talia: “I’ll stay, but…”

TALIA… WYD

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Meanwhile the contestants who have nothing to worry about gathered…”

talia you might be safe this time but you definitely should NOT be thinking you have nothing to worry about after… Earlier

I hate how this turned out D: I’ve noticed that sims in my game aren’t fond of the “enthuse about…” interactions. And then it ruins things like this.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Madeleine: “Yes! Did you see that? Today must be my lucky day!”

Don’t boast too much, love!

She’s really doing great though! Maybe she didn’t make the best first impression, but she’s been working really hard ever since.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “We didn’t start the fire It was always burning Since the world’s been…”

What’s the name of the song? I love everything connected to fireXD

It’s “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel! Warning: It’s super catchy.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “I absolutely fell in love with these cute pants some time ago but I…”

I think I will overuse these pants now:D So thank you for introducing them in the first place:D And for shoutout!

I was glad to help! And… I remember those girls!

Thank youuu! I’m a “high waisted everything” kinda girl, so of course I had to recolour these so I could use them even more often. And I’m glad that I’m not the only one, I mean, the reblogs and likes on this post are insane.

And yay, glad you remember them! Juliet and Amber were easier to recognize, I guess, but the other two, Lily and Lavender…I haven’t posted them too much, ever. I forgot how pretty they were *-* I will definitely use them as my models for recolours and stuff.

dandylion240 replied to your post “I didn’t expect to come up with a whole backstory for Caleb and…here…”

I like your ideas for him though

Thank you so much! I’ve been seeing him on my dash a lot lately, so it’s kinda weird seeing like three different versions of him at once, especially when someone makes him do things my version of him would never do :D

whysimstho replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”

#5 Sunset signs here dad up for Simdr #6 it’s lit

1o8percent replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”

I’m intrigued by the last one.

desira-sims replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”

I don’t approve of the second one. No tears! I’ll gladly take more of the 4th and get the feeling she’s a little tired of seeing it all the time. Fire is also bad, but I guess the conversation was to good to stop. And that last one. Oh that’s great.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “There you go…some gen 3 moments with no context. Good luck figuring…”

Why is Ross crying? Nothing better have happened to Caleb

*evil laughter*

I love how you guys assume the worst. I mean, I’m not surprised. I tend to accidentally kill my sims a lot this year. Well, you’ll find out very soon what is actually going on in these!

Also, just a side note, that child in picture #4 is Lucian and he’s not a girl, but I will admit he looks like one (and I’m fairly sure he knows that too and is okay with that, I mean, if he didn’t want to look like that, he’d beg for a haircut), so no worries. Just throwing it out there.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Oh, try to do Salim Benali!”

Aw he looks adorable! It makes me love him even more,

elisabettasims replied to your post “Oh, try to do Salim Benali!”

Salim is hard because he’s already pretty good looking, etc. He’s the dad of one of my sims who I did a BC with and founded my legacy on her, LOL(Anissa Hoffmann, she has her mom’s last name). Though I guess REALLY Salim and her mother are the founders but, I didn’t start a legacy until after her BC.

I agree, he’s definitely one of the few miracle townies who don’t need fixing.

Also, thank you!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Ugh, I hate this already. Can I go back to being an adorable evil…”

You can be an adorable evil child instead!

Oh, she will be.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Gwyneth: “Ready to age up, sweetie?” Avery: oh mum you bet”

Why is Gwyneth so cute I can’t even describe it!

Her cute face is the only reason why I thought “well, I could try a BPR I guess…”

Seriously. I’ve never really cared about berries, I’ve always prefered vanilla sims and berries were just something I created in cas from time to time and then never touched again. I still prefer vanilla sims and kinda doubt I’ll ever start another berry save.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Right…so now you’re a middle aged mum with a midlife crisis and a…”

I HATE THAT STUPID HAIR AND HOW IT SHOWS UP ON EVERYONE WHEN THEY AGE UP. *coughcough* Sorry. Had a bad flashback seeing that.

I hate it so much too! But actually, wanna hear a deep dark secret? I once used it on a sim…unironically. Like I actually thought it was cute.

I was 11 though, so that makes it okay, I think. I hope.

#replies #autistichatkid #desira-sims #tiny-tany-thaanos #1o8percent #igglemouse #brightlysimming #lilleputtu #elisabettasims #deathflowertea #tashsim #toxoplasmajuice #dandylion240 #whysimstho

[williamsockner]

LGBT+ Identity in the Time of Mindless Self Indulgence

Mindless Self Indulgence isn’t an act that could have flourished at any other time. The emo/pop punk wave was gathering steam; hip hop was still a novelty one could distinguish themselves from the flock by cribbing. “Random” Invader Zim-style humor was in the decline, while “edgy” no-limits humor was skyrocketing. Nerds hadn’t become the dominant force they are today, but due to the internet and the rise in manga and anime sales in the United States, they were able to access nerdy content much more easily. Youtube was taking off, music piracy was booming, and reliance on both radio and local record-store gatekeepers was at a low for young music fans.

Perhaps most critically, our national understanding of politics and identity at the time, particularly LGBT+ identities, was in a different stage of development than it is today. “Punching up” vs. “punching down” was not a concept that most people considered in their comedy. “It’s just a joke” was more widely accepted as an excuse for transgressive entertainment than it is today. “I’m an equal opportunity hater” was a common refrain.

Early in their career, the band released multiple tracks where Jimmy Urine, a man who was certainly not black, used the n-word. The “Pantyshot” cassingle was a treasured possession among MSI fans, featuring an early song that supposedly lost them a record deal due to being about lusting over a 5 year-old. Little Jimmy Urine sold kisses for a dollar to fans after shows, including to the teenagers. As a whole, the band made punchlines of racial and sexual slurs, rape and child abuse, school shootings, prostitution, drug use, incest, and just about every other taboo under the sun.

The understanding was that none of it was real and that none of it had any real consequences. Calling someone a faggot didn’t matter if we were all in on the joke, that homophobia was stupid. Words were just words. The identity of the speaker didn’t matter so long as their ideology was clear. It was something of an inversion of the way we publicly navigate comedy now, in that their identity determines where on the ladder they are to punch up or down, and the contents of their ideology is of minimal consequence compared to the text of their words. The context of a joke is not a matter of what the audience believes, but of the many complexities of hierarchy that society as a whole believes.

“Who cares?” asks 2008. “It’s just words.”

“How could it not matter?” answers 2018. “Words create culture.”

So LGBT+ identity in the era of Mindless Self Indulgence.

Describing the difference between 2005 and 2018 to young queer people is a source of anxiety for me, because I feel like the old woman talking about how she walked uphill both ways to the library if she wanted to read a book. It’s difficult, however, to put in perspective how quickly the culture around LGBT+ identities has changed. As dangerous as it is for queer kids today, they have much freer access to information about their resources and history than we did, and far greater representation in all forms of media.

When I was a teenager, I was the first person openly LGBT at my school, and my only point of reference for LGBT identities were Rosie O’Donnell and Elton John. There was no “Born This Way” yet, no Halsey and Hayley Kiyoko and Ellen Page, no Troye Sivan and Adam Lambert and Frank Ocean, no Miley Cyrus, no Laverne Cox. There were no empowerment ballads.

Which was fine, because I didn’t want empowerment ballads anyway. I felt disgusting. In reckoning with my LGBT+ identity, I felt small, broken, repulsive, confused, discarded and doomed. I was sickened in my own skin and filled with self-loathing because of my sexual orientation. Sometimes I still am. When I was 15, I drew a map of my heart, and in between the “fields of sexual insecurity” and “possibly irreparable damage” I had written “guilt!” several times and underlined it.

“You’re beautiful” didn’t only feel false, it felt invalidating. I was fiercely defensive of my self-hatred. I was working so hard at it, spending so much time and energy convincing myself I deserved the beating I was giving myself. To this day the barriers I’ve put up against generic bromides persist, and songs like “Scars to Your Beautiful” or “Roar” make me cringe. Maybe someone gets something out of them, but I can only think of the teenagers like me who used that sort of sentiment as fuel for their own self-abuse. I remember once bursting into tears at a “Jesus Loves You” sticker because it served as proof that the whole world was playing a joke on me, telling me that someone so unlovable should have some hope.

It was impossible to internalize that queerness was not dirty, unnatural and loathsome. Any attempt to break that association was drown out by the rest of the messaging we were receiving and our own tried-and-true mental gymnastics. Reassurance could not reach us at the bottom of the well.

At the time, I was obsessed with Mindless Self Indulgence with the kind of all-consuming adoration that only teenagers can possess. I aped frontman Little Jimmy Urine’s fashion, writing slogans across my coats with white tape. “What Do They Know” and “Cocaine and Toupees” were my ringtones, much to my mother’s chagrin. I had catalogues of bootlegs, lovingly sorted and pressed to CD. Mindless Self Indulgence populated my artwork, both in classroom doodles and in art pieces for my portfolio that I labored on for weeks. They were the subject of my college application essay. I met my first love on an MSI forum (which I moderated) and lost a few romantic relationships over my inability to talk about anything else. I owned every shirt. When I was hired on at Barnes & Noble’s music section, I would nominate Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy for the staff recommendation shelf every single week, and whenever it inevitably got recalled to the warehouse for lack of sales, I’d order it right back.

Sometimes my friends and I would go to the mall parking lot at night and blast Mindless Self Indulgence from my car, dancing around the empty lot with our striped stockings, fingerless gloves and Hot Topic trip pants.

This band kept me from killing myself.

“I’m filthy, disgusting, horrible, irredeemable,” we’d say. “People tell us we’re beautiful and we know they’re lying. I’m a freak.”

“Yeah, you’re fucking ugly,” the music said. “So what? So’s everything else. Have some fun with it.”

Despite the fact that Jimmy Urine has never publicly labeled himself with an LGBT identity, we young LGBT MSI fans claimed him as our own. We enshrined the article where he described being sexually attracted to anyone regardless of gender. We imitated and revered his gender fuckery onstage, the skirts, the pink suits and tutus, the eyeliner, his yelping falsetto leaping up from the masculine shouting, the way he danced. We pored over lyrics - that we transcribed ourselves in many cases, through multiple listens and endless debate - for those nuggets of same-sex attraction and gender ambiguity.

“I make a good girl but I make a terrible boy,” went one song. “These things in my pants that we’re all waiting for, I never really knew what that thing down there was used for,” went another. And the most sacred text of all was “Faggot”, off Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy, the most beloved record of the vast majority of hardcore MSI fans.

“I played that shit straight / blowing suckas to the side hopin' I get laid / now everybody knows / no way in hell I can ever live it down”.

Shit was a revelation.

Kitty, the drummer of Mindless Self Indulgence, once said of the band’s LGBT fans that listening to MSI’s music was like vomiting: it hurts at the time, but then you feel better. You got it out. And the band always cultivated their relationship with their LGBT fans. Gay marriage was one of the few political issues they openly took a stance on, in a time when states like my own were amending constitutions to protect themselves from Massachusetts’ same-sex marriages.

Thus, we had a place where we felt simultaneously seen and valued by the band, and unseen amongst the chaos surrounding us. The irreverent humor of the band created a safe space where homosexuality could be disgusting, but so was everything else. There was no shame at an MSI concert. You were listening to a man famed for drinking his own urine sing about whipping his meat out, who cared if you liked to kiss girls? That’s old news. We’re all freaks down here at the bottom of the well.

I’m 28 now, and I don’t know if the kids these days have an equivalent band. I don’t know if there’s a market for it anymore; I’m sure there will always be queer kids who have internalized the awful message that they are inherently unlovable, but I’m not sure if they can’t find more accessible and more inherently positive panaceas. I see mutations of the same style of humor in Willam from RuPaul’s Drag Race and in some of the undercurrents of Tumblr’s teen humor. “We’re goblins, trash, garbage babies.”

“Yeah,” my inner child says. “I fucking feel that.”

The paradigm of humor has changed since 2008, at least in my circles, and the reasons for that are manifold, political, social, capitalistic. In many ways, it’s been a good thing: bigotry can be exposed rather than cloaked in excuses. A basic understanding of social inequality is presumed of most audiences. People are responsible for the impact of their words, not the intent. “Equal opportunity hater” is seem for what it is: intellectually lazy and blinkered, the refuge of white guys who don’t want to own up to the fact that some jokes aren’t funny.

But I’ll always have a place in my heart for comedy that meets people where they’re at. Where we’re at isn’t always beautiful or acceptable or healthy, but sometimes it’s the place where we need the laugh most.

#music #personal #lgbt stuff #humor #mindless self indulgence #jimmy urine #sorry guys i can't figure out how to text break

[lovemesomesurveys]

Who is the drummer for the band that you’re currently listening to? I’m not listening to music right now. What subject do you seem to struggle with the most? I always struggled with math. Which one of your friends knows everything about you? No one knows everything about me, but my mom knows me the most. Ya’ll know a little more, actually. ha. Who is your favourite teacher that you have this year? I’m done with school. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nah. I’ve never really tried to, either. 

What’s the worst feeling in the world? Losing a loved one is definitely one of them. Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? You guys, ha. Would you consider yourself to be emo? Emo for life. Do you like the snow or are you sick of it? I love snow, but it doesn’t snow where I live so that’s probably why I feel that way haha. I know a lot of people who live where it snows beg to differ. It’s so magical to me. What is your favourite genre of movie? Psychological thrillers, horror, romcoms, comedy, some action, some syfy. Would you ever date a friend’s ex? No. Do you think Ke$ha is good or no? I liked some of her music.  Do you watch Glee? No, I never got into that. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? So far nothing, but it’s only 1:51AM so maybe that’ll change. Doubtful, but maybe. How many instruments are in the room that you’re in? Zero. Do you have a favourite metal band or do you not like metal? I don’t have one. Who sits beside you in math? Are you talking to anyone right now? No. What’s your locker number? Is there a band that just gets on your nerves? Nah. If I don’t like a band or artist then I just don’t listen to them. Simple. What’s your favourite kind of science? Psychology.  Do you walk home or take a bus? If I need to go somewhere my parents or brother will drive me. Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? Very much an introvert. What’s your homeroom?

If you had to move, where would you move to? I’m not sure. My family and I want to move, but we haven’t figured out where as of yet. We’re not able to at this time anyway, so I guess we still have time to figure it out. Would you ever wanna be a grave digger? No.

Do you prefer salty or sweet snacks? Salty. I like some sweets now and then, though.

Who did you last go to the movies with? My mom and brother.

Are you sick right now? I always feel crappy on some level or another, but I don’t have a cold or anything of that sort currently.

Do you have any upcoming vacations planned? Yes.

What state have you not been to that you would love to visit? There’s few that I’d like to visit.

Where is your best friend right now? She’s asleep.

What TV show do you never miss? There’s a few.

Have you ever read anything written by Shakespeare? Yeah, a few books for school.

If you could see anyone (dead or alive) in concert, who would you pick? Linkin Park with Chester.

Who’s the cutest person you know? My doggo. Not a person, but shh.

How about the funniest? My mom and brother. My doggo is also very goofy.

Have you ever had acne? Yeah. I dealt with it a lot as a teen and in my early 20s. Now I get like a couple every now and then. 

Where is your biggest scar located? Down my entire back.

Where did your last hug take place? In the kitchen.

Do you bite your nails I’m always picking at them and using nail clippers.

What is your current desktop picture? Alexander Skarsgard.

What did your last text message say and who was it from? I don’t feel like checking.

What kind of phone do you have? iPhone XR.

Are you going to go do anything now? Another survey.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[bandaids-not-groupies]

Get to know me uncomfortably well - tagged by @livewiredroger ❤️ sorry this took so long to post!! 

1. What is your middle name? 

Janie

2. How old are you? 

21, gonna be 22 in a couple months

3. When is your birthday?

December 4th! A day after Ozzy’s

4. What is your zodiac sign? 

Sagittarius

5. What is your favourite colour? 

Light purple and black

6. What’s your lucky number?

I don’t actually know

7. Do you have any pets?

No but I did have a dog!

8. Where are you from? 

Chicago!

9. How tall are you?

5’0 lmao

10. What shoe size are you? 

6

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 

Too many to count lol

12. What was your last dream about? 

I don’t remember 😅

13. What talents do you have?

None lol. I’m boring af

14. Are you psychic in any way? 

Nope lol

15. Favourite song? 

I’m a believer by the monkees (I’ve always loved that song)

16. Favourite movie? 

The Godfather

17. Who would be your ideal partner? 

Keanu Reeves. He has my heart and soul

18. Do you want children? 

Yeah but only like 2

19. Do you want a church wedding? 

Yeah but nothing too big

20. Are you religious? 

Kinda but not really. Like I acknowledge that there could be a God. But I don’t practice it that much. So basically I’M SINNING AND I’M WINNING

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 

Yeah. Twice. Once cause I had a bad ear infection and then another time I had pneumonia

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 

Nope!

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 

Yes I have! Back in my emo days I meet Christofer Drew from Never Shout Never, which was actually pure luck! NSN was in town for a concert, but I couldn’t go because it was a 18+ venue so I couldn’t get in (I was in 8th grade at the time). So my family and I decided to go out to eat at a restaurant which was coincidentally across from the venue. So we were walking down the street and I see this huge tour bus right outside the restaurant. My heart starts racing and i thought “how cool would it be if I bumped into someone from the group” well lo and behold as we are coming closer to the bus, Christofer Drew turns the corner and walks towards the bus. So I stop in my tracks and just say “Christofer Drew?” And he stops and he says hi! He asked if I was going to the show and I said no and he goes “well you gotta promise you’ll come to the next one!” Of course I made the promise and I didn’t break it! He came back that summer and I got to see him ❤️ I also met two groups called Breathe Carolina and Crown The Empire. I also met Evan Peters and Sebastian Stan at Comic Con a couple years ago. I also met Corey Crawford. The goaltender for the Chicago Blackhawks, my favorite hockey team.

24. Baths or showers?

Showers! I don’t like the idea of bathing in your own filth.

25. What color socks are you wearing? 

I’m not wearing any!

26. Have you ever been famous? 

Nope lmao and I probably never will be

28. What type of music do you like?

I like oldies. Mostly from the 50s-80s. Anything from Dean Martin to Motley Crue. I do like modern music too. I still listen to some of the bands I listened to in middle school lol (like the ones i mentioned before and others like All Time Low, Pierce The Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, Of Mice & Men, Asking Alexandria, and a couple more.) I also like Greta Van Fleet and 5 Seconds of Summer. I also like spanish music. Like Maluma, Bad Bunny, Becky G, etc. 

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 

Nope lol 

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 

It depends. It could be one or none. Sometimes i don’t use a pillow

31. What position do you usually sleep in? 

On my tummy! 

32. How big is your house? 

It’s a two bedroom apartment. I’m not complaining tho, its very cozy. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 

If I wake up early enough lol it’ll usually be eggs (over medium), some coffee, and some bread 

34. Have you ever fired a gun? 

Nope and i don’t plan on it! 

35. Have you ever tried archery? 

Yes! I tried it when I was in Girl Scouts in elementary school 

36. Favourite clean word? 

Groovy 

37. Favorite swear word? 

definitely FUCK

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 

like a day? I got like four hours of sleep the night before. Got up at like 6am, went about my day. Then I stayed up until 7am working on a research paper for class (college is a BITCH). 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 

Nah cause your girl is hella ugly lmao

41. Are you a good liar? 

Not at all. People can tell when I’m lying cause my voice gets high lmao 

42. Are you a good judge of character? 

Eh I do my best 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 

I try to do a posh British accent and I try to do a Steve Irwin Aussie accent   

44. Do you have a strong accent? 

People say I have a strong chicagoan accent but i don’t hear it!

45. What is your favourite accent? 

I’m a sucker for aussie accents 

46. What is your personality type? 

just took the test..i got ISFP-T (adventurer) 

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 

hmmmm all I can think of at the moment is my Doc Martens. They aren’t really clothing but it’s all I can think of lol

48. Can you curl your tongue? 

Nope!

49. Are you an innie or an outie? 

outie :(((( i hate it 

50. Left or right-handed?

Right handed! 

51. Are you scared of spiders? 

YES YES YES

52. Favourite food? 

Pasta! I could eat it all day, every day 

53. Favourite foreign food?

Tamales and Pozole. That’s my shitttt

54. Are you a clean or messy person? 

I try and be a clean person and stay organized but it only lasts for a bit then I go back to my messy ways lol 

55. Most used phrase? 

“that’s a mood” and “no mames guey” (Mexican slang)

56. Most used word? 

Dude and Darling

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 

Depends. If I wear my hair natural, then an hour. But if I gotta style it, then like an hour and a half or two hours( I got a lot of fucking hair, dude). 

58. Do you have much of an ego? 

Hell no lmao. This bitch has a low self-esteem so 🤷🏻‍♀️

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 

Suck 🤪

60. Do you talk to yourself? 

All the time lmao 

61. Do you sing to yourself? 

Yeah sometimes 

62. Are you a good singer? 

Nope lmao but I still do it anyways 

63. Biggest Fear? 

A lot of shit. Spiders, Holes (trypophobia), tearing my achilles or getting them cut (ever since I saw Pet Sematary), dolls, bugs crawling under my skin, throwing up...and i can’t think of anymore on the spot 

64. Are you a gossip? 

you bet your ass I am. Soy una chismosa lmao

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 

Titanic  

66. Do you like long or short hair? 

On girls, long but not too long. Maybe like mid-back. And guys, long, like ear length and longer 

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 

Yeah but i couldn’t point them out on a map 

68. Favourite school subject? 

Biology/Human Anatomy. I’m a sucker for science 

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Definitely an introvert. No doubt about that lol 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 

Nope!

71. What makes you nervous? 

Meeting new people, class discussions, and presentations

72. Are you scared of the dark? 

If i’ve just seen a scary movie then yes lol  

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 

Sometimes. For instance, if one of my friends from ecuador uses a word wrong in a sentence, then I would tell them the right way to say it to help them learn more english. i never correct someone to seem like i’m smarter or to be rude. It’s simply to help them. 

74. Are you ticklish? 

Yeah! In some places like my feet, neck, and my back, 

75. Have you ever started a rumour? 

No way! That’s terrible 

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 

Only when babysitting my little cousins lol 

77. Have you ever drank underage? 

Yeah lmao. When I went away for college

78. Have you ever done drugs? 

Once, when I hungout with a guy at school we smoked some weed

79. Who was your first real crush?

One of my friends from college. I met him Freshman year and I still like him...I’ve liked him for four years but i’ve never had the guts to tell him 

80. How many piercings do you have? 

6! I have four on my left ear and two on my right ear. I have the standard lobe piercings, then the upper lobe on both sides. Then on my left I have one above the upper. And then I have my helix pierced on the left side. (i hope this all made sense lol) 

81. Can you roll your R’s?

Nope

82. How fast can you type? 

Eh I would say pretty average 

83. How fast can you run? 

Not at all. I hate running 

84. What colour is your hair?

Dark brown! 

85. What color is your eyes? 

Dark brown

86. What are you allergic to? 

Some ingredient in the Banana Boat sunscreen. And some type of plant. I don’t exactly know which one cause I went to the botantic garden one time on a field trip and I don’t know which plant caused my allergic reaction but when I got home I had hives all over me. 

87. Do you keep a journal? 

Nope, never did 

88. What do your parents do? 

My mom is an ortho technician and my dad is a delivery man

89. Do you like your age? 

Yeah I guess. I mean I can buy my own alcohol so that’s pretty neat 

90. What makes you angry? 

Everything 

91. Do you like your own name? 

Eh it’s alright. Pretty boring 

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I like the name Elena for a girl and Jonathan for a boy 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Doesn’t matter to me

94. What are you strengths? 

I’m a ride or die bitch.

95. What are your weaknesses?

I don’t really share my emotions so I keep things bottled up 

96. How did you get your name? 

My cousin picked out my name 

97. Were your ancestors royalty? 

Not that I know of. But what I do know is I have family from Spain. 

98. Do you have any scars?

Yeah, one on my arm from when I burned myself with my straightener. And another at the place where my nose meets my forehead, between my brows. When I was in elementary school, I was running out on the playground and I tripped and I slide across the cement and scraped my nose and my whole forehead. THERE. WAS. BLOOD. EVERYWHERE. 

99. Colour of your bedspread? 

Light pink 

100. Colour of your room? 

White! 

I tag: @tommyleeownsme, @babe-mustaine, @waycooljunior, and @universal-scorpio ❤️

#sorry this is hella long #omfg #personal

[beanfic]

Summertime Sadness - Ch.4

Word count: 1840

Warnings: Rebellious teen activities

Author’s note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

Song suggestions: Some Nights by Fun. and We are young by Fun.

The next morning at breakfast was no different than any other, even though your parents would beg to differ. They interrogated you with questions while you looked at your phone and ate your Cheerios.

“You never smile at your phone this often,” your mom said.

“Yeah, what happened last night?” your dad added.

“Nothing happened? I’m being normal?” you lied.

They didn’t believe your lie, and you decided to just ignore them. You couldn’t help smiling every time Josh’s name flashed up on your phone.

“Can I be excused?” you asked once you finished your cereal.

“Yes.”

“Thank you.”

You headed to the kitchen and washed your bowl out, and put it in the dishwasher. You ran back up to your bedroom and started to text Josh back.

We should hang tonight

You waited for his response eagerly. Once you heard your phone vibrate, you pounced and read it right away.

I’m totally down. Let me take you on a drive.

You smiled like an idiot to yourself as you read the message over and over. You really had never felt this way before, and what if he felt the same way too?

“Who are you texting?” your brother asked, barging into your room.

“Can you knock?”

“Excuse me? You fucking walked in on me watching porn. I think I get to barge in on you whenever I want.”

“Okay okay. I’m texting Josh.”

“Josh Dun?” His tone of voice gave you an anxious feeling, you really hated that your brother disapproved,

“Yes, he’s super nice. We’re hanging out again tonight.”

“He’s such a fucking douche.”

“You don’t even know him?”

“He went to my high school. I know him more than you do. He was that emo kid with the lip piercing. He’s weird.”

“Lip piercing?” The thought of Josh wearing a lip piercing made you giggle. “He’s different now though, John. He seems genuine and caring, and he’s attractive.”

You watched your brother roll his eyes.

“I don’t care if you disapprove, Johnny, I’m 18 and I can do whatever I want.”

“Y/N, it’s not that I disapprove, it’s that I don’t want my little sister getting hurt. He’s a bad influence.”

“Thanks, but I think I can handle myself, can you leave now?” you gave your brother a glare, showing him that he was no longer welcome in your room.

Your phone started buzzing in your pocket and you pulled it out to see Josh calling you. You pressed the answer button, and held the phone up to your ear.

“Hey, Dun!”

“Hey, Y/L/N! I was wondering if we could make it a late night drive? Tyler wanted to rehearse for a little tonight.”

“Like how late?”

“I could pick you up around 11:30?”

“I can’t Josh, I have a curfew.”

“C’mon, Y/L/N.”

“I don’t know.”

“You can sneak out, they will never know.”

You took a second to think about Josh’s offer. Sneaking out couldn’t be too hard, and you knew that you parents go to bed early usually.

“Okay, I think I can pull it off.”

“Perfect! I’ll be outside around 11:30, okay?”

“Okay.”

“See you later, Y/L/N.”

“You too, Dun.”

You hung up the phone and held it against your chest and you plopped down on your bed backwards. You breathed in heavily and started to figure out a good way to sneak out. You decided that you were going to be on your best behavior all day, and go to bed early.

Your window wasn’t that high up so you decided to try to sneak out of that. Getting home would be harder, but you knew you could convince Johnny to come open the door for you, hopefully.

The rest of the day was a blur. It was spent with you helping your dad clean the garage and organize all his tools, as well as vacuuming the downstairs. Your mom was gone all day for work, which was good for you since she would have picked up on how you were helping out.

Your dad cooked spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner. Bri, Johnny and you all sat around the dinner table playing two truths and lie. A family tradition during dinner.

You were starting to feel nervous and dinner was coming to a close. You had never snuck out before, and you knew that if your parents found out,  your whole summer would probably be ruined.

You tried to reassure yourself by thinking of only positive outcomes, but occasionally the negative thought would come sneaking back in.

“You okay, Y/N?” you dad asked. “You’re spacing out pretty hard.”

“No I’m fine, just really tired. I think I’m going to go to bed pretty early tonight.” You tried to avoid eye contact with your family members as you headed to the kitchen to wash your dishes.

“Do you wanna wash my plate for me?” Bri handed you her plate, looking up at you with her big green eyes.

You sighed, “Sure.” You washed her plate as well. You looked at the kitchen clock, and it read 6:45. Only five more hours until you had to sneak out.  

You spent those last five hours by hanging out with Bri and helping her record a youtube video of her doing her makeup. By the time it was around 11:15 you said goodnight to your dad and your mom, who had just gotten home.

You sat in your room, waiting for the text from Josh saying that he was on his way. You decided to wear jeans and a queen sweatshirt that you Dad had given you last year. It was a sweatshirt he got from a concert he went to when he was younger.

You nibbled on your nails as the time grew closer and closer. You jumped a little when your phone vibrated and lit up with a text from Josh.

On my way!

You took a deep breath and stood up from your bed. You opened your bedroom window slowly, trying to make as little sound as you could. You had to pry off the screen part, which was easier than you were expecting.

You looked out at the tilted rooftop, and your heart started to beat faster as you noticed how far the grass actually was. You slowly put your left foot out on the planks of wood and tried to stable yourself before putting your second foot out.

Once you had both feet, you squatted and held onto the roof with your hands. You did a little shuffle down to the gutter, and you stared at the ground that was probably a good 8 feet away.

You sat on the gutter with your feet dangling off, and you threw yourself off hoping you would land on your feet. You hit the grass with a thud, and you could feel a sharp pain shoot up your left shin bone.

“Ow fu-” you stopped yourself before you cried out. The last thing you wanted was to wake up your family and them coming out and finding you.

You grabbed your shin and started to roll around the grass to distract yourself from screaming out in pain. The pain started to subside, and you stood up and started walking over to Josh’s jeep that was parked in front of your house.

“That was quite the show,” he chuckled as you hopped in.

“You saw all that?”

“I watched you climb out of your window and then chuck yourself off the roof, yeah, I saw it all,” he started laughing which made you burst out in laughter too.

“Where are we going?”

“Just sit back and relax!”

You were nervous. “Okay.”

“Do you trust me, Y/L/N?”

“Yes, Dun, I trust you.”

“Good.”

Josh started to drive away, and once he got onto the highway, he rolled down the window and blasted the music. He was playing the new Fun. album, some nights and you couldn’t help but to sing along.

“You’re a good singer,” he smiled over at you. You could feel your cheeks get hot.

“Sing with me.”

Josh looked over at you with this look in his eyes, and he shook his head. “I don’t sing.”

“I doubt that, Dun. You’re in a band.”

“I play drums, Tyler does the singing.”

You shrugged. The wind from the windows blew your hair around as he drove about 90 down the highway. Usually, you would feel scared, but you had never felt safer when you were with him.

You watched Josh’s hand turn down the music and he looked over at you. You both just smiled at each other and then giggling from the silent eye contact.

“I want to know more about you, Y/L/N. I know you just graduated, but tell me more about you.”

“Okay, well I have an older brother, who you know, and a little sister. Do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah, I have three younger siblings. One brother and two sisters.”

“Nice, what about your drumming situation. How long have you been doing that for?”

He sighed, “I’ve been playing drums ever since I was little, but I started playing with Tyler’s band earlier this year.”

“That’s so cool! I’ve heard some of his music, it seems really cool.”

“Yeah, the band is called Twenty One Pilots.”

“Twenty One Pilots? But there's only two of you.”

He shrugged, “Ask Tyler. I didn't get to choose the band name!”

This made you laugh, “Any more questions for me?”

“Yeah, what do you do for fun? Like what are your hobbies?”

“Oh,” you thought about it for a while before deciding on what to say. “I like to write poetry, but I’m really interested in psychology. I’m going to community college starting in the fall.”

“Poetry? That’s really cool! Could I read it sometime?”

“Maybe.” You gave him a smirk.

“It’s already one in the morning, I should probably get you home!”

“True.”

Josh started driving back home, turning the music back up. We Are Young by Fun. was blasting and you started to sing along. You didn’t care what Josh thought of your singing, and at that moment you felt like you were invincible.

Josh took his right hand off his wheel and placed it on your hand that was on your lap. It took you by surprise, and you looked over at Josh who was still focused on the road. You allowed him to intertwine his fingers with yours, and you held his hand the rest of the way home.

He pulled up to the driveway and he let go of your hand. You immediately missed the warmth. You didn’t want to sneak back inside; you wanted to spend the rest of the night with Josh.

“Wish me luck, Dun,” you joked as you hopped out of his truck.

“Wait, Y/L/N, I think I’m really starting to like you.”

“You know what, Dun? I think I’m really starting to like you too.”

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