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misscrawfords · 4 months

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I was listening to Pride and Prejudice on my drive back from my mother's today and it's been so long since I've actually read the novel as opposed to engaged with one or other adaptation...

Goodness, it's good, isn't it? And Elizabeth is so much more complex a character than she is often presented in adaptations.

The thing that was standing out to me today - I was listening to from when Mr. Collins proposes to Charlotte and I stopped just when Elizabeth was talking to Colonel Fitzwilliam at Rosings - was the chapter which is just Jane and Elizabeth talking about Bingley. This gets cut from adaptations or so condensed to be meaningless, but it's incredible. It's just a whole chapter of the sisters chewing over why Bingley ghosted Jane (for lack of a better term) and what Caroline's motivations were and the thing that gets me is that they're both right. Jane is right that Bingley can't be blamed for being a friendly young man and that he had no malicious intentions but Elizabeth is also right that young men can be thoughtless in their dealings with women who have less freedom than them and their thoughtlessness can do real hurt. (She's also right about Caroline, of course.) It struck me as such a modern issue. Maybe I've just been thinking about the unwitting hurt that thoughtless young men can cause recently, but everything is so complicated. Bingley is a flake who makes a mistake with regards to Jane but he's also a genuinely lovely young man who makes it right in the end - he's still on his own journey through life which he will continue with Jane. Jane herself lets her desire to see the best in others cause her to see friendship where it isn't, but being deceived in a friend is not so uncommon, is it? And she's not stupid or weak. Heck, she endures her heartbreak being talked about openly by her mother in public for months silently and without rancour. And she does it all without ever resenting Bingley! Jane's the strongest character in the whole novel and an inspiration to the rest of us - FIGHT ME on this!

The other thing I really picked up on was what an important moment in Elizabeth's character development Charlotte's engagement is. It actually kind of breaks my heart - her best friend makes a life choice that she can't support but has to and nothing will ever be the same again between them. It's the first dent into Elizabeth's world view that forces her to see that people are different from her and can make different decisions and this is okay and not just something she can laugh at. It's so relatable in terms of life events - when a close friend marries and then when they have a baby, these things absolutely still do alter friendships. Elizabeth gets over it and even enjoys seeing Charlotte in Hunsford but we are frequently reminded by the narrator that the previous confidences they enjoyed will never be the same again. It's a really big moment for Elizabeth and really the first event in the novel to start to shake her foundations of her comfortable existence. The other two are Bingley's desertion of Jane and Wickham's decision to pursue Mary King over her. By the time she goes to Hunsford, she is prepared in a way for the final massive shock to the foundations of The World According to Lizzy Bennet, not that she knows it. Such is growing up.

And OMG Lady Catherine is SO vulgar and inappropriate! She is a direct parallel to Mrs. Bennet and the rest of the Bennets. Just as Elizabeth feels accute embarrassment at the Netherfield Ball, Mr. Darcy is feeling exactly the same at Rosings. Beautifully done. But their awareness of what is appropriate behaviour is something that unifies Darcy and Elizabeth even if Darcy massively fails to behave like a human around Elizabeth. Pride and Prejudice is such an expose and examination of "how to behave in social situations". There is nobody who doesn't come under scrutiny and pretty much every type of behaviour is gone over with a fine tooth comb.

Sometimes I feel almost ashamed when people ask me what my favourite novel is and I say "Pride and Prejudice" because it's such a damn cliche. I should say something heavier or more obscure or at least I should say it's Persuasion, the "thinking girl"'s favourite Austen. But P&P is so special to me on so many levels and you know what? It is a MASTERFULLY written book.

#jane austen #pride and prejudice #i just want to spend my life thinking about Austen

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mayasaurusss · 15 days

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haii I can request modern lottie headcanos ?

Warnings: Jock (but also nerdy?) Lottie, Lottie is a loser-virgin, use of every single cliche in the book, for the sake of the story let's pretend they have this instant chemistry moment, fluff fic, humorous writing, not proof read, the author regrets begin born.

A/N: hey anon, remeber when I said I had an idea and wanted to make this a oneshot instead of a headcanon? Well, I completley forgot my idea and this brewed in my head last minute, so I tried to put this thing thogeter. This story isn't very good but I hope you will like it!

Lottie is one of the most popular girls in school. She is on the soccer team, she is rich and she is beautiful, men and women alike fall to their feets for her attention. She simply has to get to the top of everything, whether it is school or soccer, making the ones around her jealous of her or to be her. Lottie is tough, both in body and spirit: during practice she manages to get going for hours, even when her teammates are tired. During exams, she remembers almost everything she studied and only a few times she has failed, due to laziness and too much faith in her abilities. She has told herself to never slack off ever again and so she continues practicing after school in her backyard, no matter if it's freezing or raining or just a bad day, she pushes her body to the limit almost every day. She studies hours on hours on hours, just after her endless practice, till midnight; sometimes she consumes her dinner while studying for her next exam. Lottie has virtually no time for herself anymore, but she knows it's her fault. She knows that she does this to appease her father's wishes for her life and that she will never make him proud. She tells herself that she's ok, that she can continue doing this without repercussions.

She is on fire today, she has just passed one of the most difficult tests of the year without breaking a sweat attracting to herself the envy of various people -and Natalie's-, had successfully exposed a presentation in class -"How cults can change people psyche", by Lottie Matthews-, and now is practicing, having just scored a goal after being chased by Taissa and making her repeatedly taking her to the ground. Lottie is triumphant, sweat coating her skin and a smile gracing her lips, the same smile that made people develop crushes for her. "Ok team, I want you to try and score a goal, Lottie, Taissa and Van, you guys try to stop them, ok?" Coach Ben says.

Lottie moves to her place near Taissa, ignoring the looks the girl gives her, Van behind the, waiting for the ball. When the coach blows the whistle, the teams move: Shauna passes the ball to Mari, in a fake attempted attack from right, trying to get past Taissa, the ball is passed to Laura Lee who has already run across the field enough to not be worried about Taissa. The only obstacles left between her and the goal are Lottie and Van. The latter won't be a problem, when Laura will kick the ball from the underside angle, sending it to the far corner of the net; the real problem is Lottie. The girl is tall and strong enough to turn the situation to her favor and virtually leave Laura's and the rest of the team empty handed. And, to top it all off, she's on fire today. So, Laura Lee devises a plan: as soon as Lottie will corner her, she will fall back and kick the ball as high as she can, attempting to send it through the net. Lottie will not budge, she thinks, -"She is too smart to fall for this..."- but she will at least attempt to try.

Lottie has stayed still until now, determined to be the one to stop her teammates. Her muscles tighten, ready to strike, until her attention is on someone else, someone on the seats.

There are quite a few people here besides you and your friends. They had invited you to watch the Yellowjackets practice, more in particular to watch the Yellowjackets practice. You have sat in the nearest line to the field, wanting to crawl out of your seat whenever one of your friends made a loud remark about one of the girls. "Like, oh my God look at Natalie '' Hayley sighs dreamily, "I want to make sexy pottery with her '' Jessica scoffs at her "Say what you want about Natalie. Have you looked at coach Ben? He is so hot!" she says while twirling a strand of her hair. "I think he's gay Jessica..." she gasps "How would you know? The other day I saw him handing to Travis a bunch of condoms, he must like girls!", "That's not how it works Jessica..." you argue with her "Shut up," she scoffs at you. You turn your head away from her to avoid her anger, looking towards the field as you see number seven -Lottie, that must be her name- moving in position to defend the net. "...and how would you know? Your life is so boring, you never even had a relationship yet!"eyes scanning her face up and down, you look at Jessica ``I haven't but at least I don't drool for every human beginning in school" you remark at her, earning a glare that could kill.

"Shut up! Stupid asshole..." your eyes return to the soccer field, now focused back on the players: you see Lottie staring at you, her eyes never leaving yours even for a split second, you and your friends must've been loud for her attention to be on anything else other than practice. Neither you or her break eye contact, both in an almost hypnotic state, so, neither you or her notice Laura Lee screaming out for her teammate.

The second Lottie refocuses back on the game, the ball hits her face at full speed; Lottie stumbles back holding her nose, blood flowing freely from it, she loses her footing and falls on the ground. "Fuuuck!'' The team rushes to their friend, Laura Lee is profusely apologizing while trying to hold her best friend who isn't in the right mood to be manhandled. Coach Ben kneels next to Lottie and inspects her face: on the bridge of the nose, right where the ball has hit her, Lottie has a small red bump and her nose seems to be slightly pushed to the left side. "We need to take the infirmary..." he states and helps Lottie up, before Misty can get her hands on her classmate's face and cause more damage. She walks back with Ben with shame, and when she looks back to see you worried over her, she can't bring herself to look at you.

At the infirmary, she gets a pack of cold ice and after one hour, the nurse, a middle aged old woman who looks like she's done with life, walks over to her and takes away the ice pack. Her hands move and test around Lottie's nose, manhandling her -she looks like a small scared child-. "Take a deep breath with your mouth...", she's confused as hell but does so, feeling the nurse's hands move again on her nose, "...and don't panic". -What?- the nurse's fingers block her nose and push strongly to the right side, readjusting the bone. Lottie lets out a banshee-like scream "Fuck me!" and she hold her face, muffling her scream in her hands, "Don't move too much or you could crook it again". Her fingers move across the nose skin, it definitely hurts but now she can breathe again: the nose still has a small red bump at the middle of its length. "Yeah, that's not going away", the nurse says while arranging some things in a box, "What?".

Her father had wanted to sue both the nurse and Laura Lee's family as soon as he saw how his daughter's nose looked, but with some convincing, Lottie had managed to make his anger drop. Today, some time after the whole fiasco, Shauna has come to pick her up for school, usually she would use her father's limo but today she felt like beginning with a friend -and exploiting her a bit- than with the old decrepit driver her father hired. As soon as she enter Shauna's car, the other girl lets out a small pained hiss at Lottie's nose. "...Is it that noticeable...?", Shauna let's out a small hum and moves uncomfortably under Lottie's dark gaze. "I mean... I see it because I was there, but it's not tha-" Shauna is interrupted by Lottie's frustrated sigh and cries. "God! This is just what I needed..." she mutters into her hand, Shauna drops her hand on her friend's shoulder "Come on...It's not that bad, no one will notice". Lottie moves to look at Shauna, her eyes are tearful, "That's literally the first thing you noticed about me today". A gulp travels down Shauna's throat "Uhm..." the taller girl looks her dead in the eyes "This is the part where you, as a friend, would comfort me". The car engine starts, Shauna lets out a embarassed cough while she starts to move the car "...Let's go".

"Ouch..." Taissa says to her while munching her sandwich, the whole soccer team is in the cafeteria for lunch, Lottie had been the last one to join the team 'cause her classes ended later, of course that would involve her not-so-glorious entrance in the room, where everyone had looked at her weird or with pity. "Laura Lee hasn't come today...She's feeling pretty guilty for what she's done. I think this will stay inside her little fanatic brain for a while" Taissa laughs while exchanging a kiss with Van, "And she's right. If I were you, Lottie, I would have punched her in the face ages ago" Natalie barges in the conversation. "Changing topic, tonight there's a party. At Randy's' ' the blonde girl mutters while focused on rolling something that Lottie is pretty sure isn't a normal cig, "I don't know if I'll be there... I don't feel really good". Natalie lets out a scoff, momentarily messing up her rolling before continuing again, "Come on Lottie, It's only a party. Besides, your 'little incident' is not that visible ''. Taissa stares at Natalie with a look that says 'Really?' , "Geez, how about some fucking decency Natalie?" she spats out receiving a roll of eyes from the other girl "The point is, going to a party won't be that big of a deal". Everyone seems to turn to Lottie, waiting for her response, "...Ok".

Night has come, and with it, Lottie's uneasiness. The party had proved to be a lot more crowded than she imagined, it was packed with people who were beginning to drink by the time the Yellowjackets had come. Jackie had placed her hand on Lottie's shoulder, stroking it reassuringly "Don't worry Lottie, we won't go anywhere" and for a split second, Lottie had believed her and smiled reproaching the smile, before she had looked away -for one fucking second-, and all of her team had left to so their things: Taissa and Van had two red cups in their hands and were flirting to one angle of the room, Jackie had blindedly followed Jeff somewhere with Shauna trailing behind her and Natalie was gone to God knows where, probably doing drugs with those toxics of her friends. So, as she had been sure all this time, Lottie was alone. A sigh escaped her lips, her brows furrowing in annoyance and creating a small wrinkle between them, and worry showing in her eyes. She makes a bee line to the kitchen, finding it almost empty except for a drunk couple in one of the dark corners; on the table amidst all the discarded red cups and leftover foods, sits a clear glass bowl of red-blood punch with some ice and a slice of orange floating in. Lottie takes one of the clean cups and fills it to the brim with alcohol. She drinks her worries away feeling the liquid heat her from within, before she knows she has gulped down half of it. Her hands search for her cigarettes in her jeans pocket, finding only a few left: taking one she holds it between her lips but realizes she has forgotten her lighter at home, "As if this night couldn't be any worse...".

When you walk into the kitchen, you see the same girl who yesterday almost got half of her face blown off -Lottie, you remind yourself-.

She's dressed in high waisted dark gray jeans, a long sleeved black shirt and a pair of glasses which made her look far more nerdy than she might have intended. "Oh, hi!" she turns around so quickly that some of the liquid spills out of the cup and pours on her fingers, but she doesn't seem to care all that much, all her attention is on you. "H-Hi...!". Walking over to her, you smile "You are Lottie right? You got pretty hurt some time ago, huh?", gulping down dryly her eyes focused on your lips resting on the cup ridge "Uhhhh, uh, ehm, yes yeas, yeah that's me...". Eyes hazy and unfocused, she doesn't hear you calling out for her "...ttie. Lottie? Earth calls to Lottie, are you there?" she jolts up a second, straighten her spine and avoids to look you in the eye. "Uh, yeah I'm here, just a little distracted" her throat clears and she lets out a small laugh. You look at her, you notice the way she seems to be around you: gone is the confident jock from the soccer team, all that's left of her is a girl who's too shy to talk without stuttering every few seconds. "Say, would you like to get to know each other?" her throat clears before she nods her head slightly with a little smile. "So, what do you like to do, you know, besides soccer?" you lean on the table while sipping on the punch, "Well, I like partying, usually, and -you know- soccer is all my life. I play the guitar sometimes..." your gasp interrupts her, "You'll have to let me hear something one day!". Lottie tells you more about her life: she tells you about her father and mother, about how she's always alone in that big cold house of hers, about how she likes the soccer team a lot -except Jackie sometimes- and of her love for teen dramas, especially Dawson's Creek.

The alcohol starts to make your body heat, she looks so good under dimmed lights; you sip down the last drops of the alcohol and throw the empty cup on the table, slightly scaring Lottie. "Would you like to dance?" her eyes move to yours and shakes her head in approval "Of course!" you take her cup and set it on the table, placing your hand on hers and leading her to the living room.

The room is lit by red light, the music is so loud it makes her heart jump in her chest, but Lottie can barely hear it over the loud beating of her heart in her ears. You get close to her body and feel its heat, how her skin shivers when you touch her a little too long and how she can't even place her shaky hands on you. Everything is slow, heated, the red lights paint Lottie in a way you haven't seen before; you lock eyes with her and for a moment, you feel the need to kiss her, even if you have known her only for a few hours. You get closer to her, so much so that you can feel the raspiness of her breath when you eye her lips. It isn't surprising then when, in the euphoria you're both experiencing, you don't hear the heavy steps of someone getting closer to you.

You get yanked from Lottie's grip, someone spins you around until you've met with his face again. "What the fuck are you doing?!" he snaps at you, his brows are furrowed and he looks even more of a rabid dog than when you left him. "Hello Brandon..." he grips your arms tighter, bruising your skin underneath; his breath is on your face,reeking of alcohol. "Hello'? What the fuck are you doing with this bitch?!" he starts to tug you around, all the while continuing to spit in your face insults.

As soon as he lets go of you Lottie reaches out and manhandles you behind her; a stern look appears on her face. "Hey, what's your problem?" she looks him up and down, studying him "My problem is you, and people like you" he spats out. "Like me?" she can feel her blood pressure rising, his implication not missed by Lottie.

Brandon's friends are near him, some giggle but others are trying to hold him down from exploding further. "Yeah, people like you and this bitch over here" he gestures at you with a nod, he seems to get even more red than he was before, almost looking rabid, "What the fuck are you talking about?".

Brandon seems to have been pushed over the edge, a wild look in his eyes, he sweats and screams on Lottie's face "You fucking faggots! You gross shit! Scum like you shouldn't even exist!" people are gathering now near, the music seems to almost have gone silent, flashes and giggles surround you. Lottie grips your hand tight, so tight that it hurts, "Lottie..." she turns around, her other hand placed on your hip and starts to lead you out of the party.

"Let's go" her voice wavering: for a split second, she saw her father spilling insults at her after she had told what she really was. "Yeah you better go! We don't want disgusting shits like you around here" Brandon is held back by his friends when he attempts to chase after you.

Through her clouded mind, Lottie doesn't miss Brandon's next words "You aren't even that good at soccer, I bet your father is really proud of his shitty disgusting lizzie daughter". Lottie feels her knuckles crush bone beneath them, and regains her consciousness, realizing she had punched Brandon right on the nose, in the exact same way she was hit the day's priors. He falls on his ass in the middle of his friend group, spurting insults and imprecations at you and Lottie. Before you can look at him, you're tugged out of the party. You run with Lottie, both with the fear that he might get out of his friend's grapes and follow you; you run across the small patch of woods just outside of Randy's house.

The night is lit by countless stars in the sky, wind blows through the trees and inside of your heart an euphoric feeling blooms. When you end up at the other side of the trees, in a clearance, you start to laugh at your heart's content; your laugh is so contagious that it starts to affect Lottie too -who previously was looking at you like you were mad- making her let out chuckles of her own.

You hold on to her, much like you did when you were at the party, she hides her face into your neck while still giggling: you start to notice the position you're in, her breath hitches when she notices how close you are and -more importantly- where her face is. Dark eyes reflect the night sky, she looks at you with something akin to adoration for a second, before she composes herself and let go of you, clearing her throat. "So ummm... who was that guy?" you rethink about the events of the night and -trying not to think- about how good Lottie looks right now. "He was my ex-boyfriend. He has been going a bit crazy since I broke up with him. I told him I... liked girls and he has been bothering me ever since I left him" Lottie let's out a small 'oh' of approval, taking in all that you said. "So... you like girls" she hums in thought; you inadvertently let out a laugh "Of course! I thought it was pretty obvious from how I was looking at you". Her face becomes beet red -'Shit, I looked so stupid! Why did I asked that?!'-, she scratches the back of her head while averting your gaze. Her hand is held by yours, she follows your movement and when she turns around, she's met with your lips on hers. She can't move the lips back, too stunned by your action to reciprocate the kiss but just when you thought of pulling away -'maybe she doesn't like me'- you feel her hands cupping your cheeks and deepening the kiss. -'Whoa... sparks...'- she thinks while deepening the kiss even more, it feels like millions of little light sparks shine on you and her. She's so close you can barely breathe, the air itself feels intoxicating, this is just too good to be true. When you pull away, both of you are blushing and messy, she looks amazing under the moonlight: hair messy, glasses slightly sliding to the side, skin so red and eyes watery. "Wow... this feels very... romantic..." she sighs into your neck, holding your chest to hers "We should do this more often..." you kiss her again, giddy, holding onto her neck "We definitely should!".

Something moves in the bushes rapidly, making both of you jolt up in fear that your ex might've catched up, Lottie is already ready to throw another punch, just when from the darkness between the trees, the Yellowjackets appear, all of them. "G-God!" an echo of 'oooh's' rise up from the group, Van begins the lead of them "Oh so that's what you were doing Lottie! We feared you got into a fight!". Van gets closer to you two, throwing her arm around Lottie's shoulders "Are you gonna introduce your 'friend' to us?", the taller girl puffs out a breath in annoyance "Oh fuck off!".

#yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you #yellowjackets fic #lottie mathews x reader #lottie matthews x reader #lottie matthews x you #fluff fic

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burningvelvet · 8 months

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I officially finished Pride and Prejudice yesterday! Some more rambles to add to the ongoing collection:

1 Learning that Wickham and Lydia are on the downward path I predicted is really satisfying for some reason. Just the image of the classic rake being forced to marry the unruly teen he had a fling with and then being forced to deal with the repercussions of his actions for the first time in his life — so good considering he seemingly believed he could partake in ruining her reputation and get away with it. And Lydia isn’t consciously suffering (although in reality, her prospects/reputation have indeed suffered) because she’s so oblivious to the misfortune around her that she thinks her life is much better than it is. It’s all just so true to life imo. Nothing is black-and-white. Every family has the worrisome trainwreck couple and these two are the perfect representation of that. Also, Wickham/Lydia give me major Byron/Claire Clairmont vibes (my fellow Romanticists iykyk).

2 Elizabeth’s conversation with Lady Catherine was so nerve-wracking. Elizabeth handled it so well, which surprised me. Toward the end of the novel I was getting a sense that Elizabeth had really come into her own self & seeing how expressive she became in comparison to some of the other women around her was very refreshing.

3 Elizabeth and Darcy’s long conversation while walking was actually cute, I can’t lie. I didn’t really find Darcy personally appealing at first, but he grew on me — which I’m aware was the intention — but due to the popularity of the romantic elements of the story in popular media and film adaptations, I was really surprised just how little Darcy and Elizabeth interacted if we take into account the entire length of the novel and how many actual conversations they had. It’s more realistic that way due to how things like travel, socializing, and marriage were conducted back then. I think for the sake of modern audiences and modern concepts of romance/etc., adaptations and maybe even fans themselves really overemphasize the romantic elements of the story. What I mean is that it is a love story, yes, but our concepts of love in the Anglosphere have changed a lot since Austen’s time. Adaptations reflect this change, although they also probably skew the reader’s reception of the original novel. Alternatively, the Georgian era was a bit more lively than we regularly think, which is seen by Wickham/Lydia’s rendezvous, and so we could also interpret the novel as containing more passion covertly hidden beneath the pages. There are a lot of ways to interpret the concepts of love/romance as shown in the novel.

4 Lydia is truly her mother’s daughter imo. I don’t have a thought-out argument to defend this opinion but it definitely showed that Lydia was her mother’s favorite and Elizabeth was her father’s favorite — and interestingly, they married two men who were enemies to each other, and diametrically opposed in personality. I think one of the biggest takeaways from the novel is that the Bennet parents were an ill-suited match and so their children are having this struggle of trying not to repeat the generational curse — in Lydia’s case she fails like her parents did, whereas Elizabeth and Jane manage well.

5 I routinely forgot that Mary Bennet existed. Like was she even in the novel or was I just zoning out every time she appeared? Lmao

6 Mr. Bennet sarcastically saying that he loves Wickham and Collins more than Darcy and Bingley because the former two amuse him more and give him free entertainment… same tbh!

7 It’s interesting how all the men and women function as foils for each other and represent various reactions to the system they live in. Mrs. Bennet, Mrs. Bingley, Lady Catherine, Mrs. Gardiner, are all interesting to compare to each other, and Mr. Collins, Mr. Bingley, Mr. Wickham, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bennet, Mr. Gardiner are also in that way very neatly comparable.

8 I’m biased because I’ve studied Shakespeare but I really got a big Shakespeare vibe the entire time. I saw someone on here post that the novel may have been inspired by Much Ado specifically and I completely agree! I looked it up and there have been articles and academic papers writing about the influence of Shakespeare on Austen and P&P particularly, so we’re not alone here.

— Overall, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find that I enjoyed this book way more than I thought I would! If none of you have read it, or are only familiar with adaptations, definitely give it a try.

#pride and prejudice #jane austen #literature #english literature #book thoughts #book opinions #book review

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terastalungrad · 2 years

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There's a certain type of comedian who thinks they're the main character of life, and that the most important angle on any issue is what THEY think of it. Whether that's their take on the latest MCU film, or their observations on politics.

You can't understand these people until you realise they think they're modern-day philosophers. And they're not. Philosophers are modern-day philosophers.

I do believe comedians are primarily for entertainment. The fact that we can say something meaningful is great but bonus.

For thousands of years, there have been people who don't fit their culture's dominant model of gender. Bigots will try and convince you that this is NEW, and that it's a problem in some way. Don't believe them. Don't be gullible.

Comedians who see themselves as the protagonist? They're gullible. They swallow the dominant narrative wholesale, because they won't do the work to try and understand anyone else's perspective. Why would they? They're the main character. These comedians often seemed ground-breaking when they were young, because this single-minded self-obsession helped them reject old-fashioned values.

But as they get older, the same condition causes them to reject emerging progressive values.

They think they're cool. Arguing with Mary Whitehouse was cool in their 20s. They think it looks the same when they're in their 50s and arguing with 19-year-olds. They like it when you're offended, because they think it's cool to offend people.

So here's a secret. Comedians don't CARE if they've hurt your feelings. That makes them feel powerful. Instead, talk about how old-fashioned they are. Oh, what a shame, they've failed to keep up with the times. Gutted. They seemed so exciting 20 years ago.

"You're not funny" doesn't hurt a comedian. They believe they're funny because every night, rooms full of strangers laugh at them. Comedians don't crave validation for how funny they are. They crave validation for how INTERESTING they are.

How do you kill a comedian?

Aim for their relevance.

#ricky gervais #dave chappelle #tagging my hate

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phatburd · 3 months

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Bessières and the 600,000+ Franc Question

For @josefavomjaaga

While going over sources and material related to Jean-Baptiste Bessières, there's one thing that keeps twigging my journalist Spidey sense, and I don't like that.

Always, without fail, it's presented as a fait accompli that Bessières blew anywhere between 600,000 to one million francs on his mistress, a Paris opera dancer named Virginie. The fact he had a mistress isn't actually unusual by itself, when compared to the affairs his peers carried on. The exceptions were probably the Davouts and the Lefebvres.

Furthermore, his wife, Marie-Jeanne, discovered the affair after his death when his personal affects were returned to her from the battlefield.

The massive debts the Marshal left behind bankrupted his family, necessitating that Marie-Jeanne into selling their estate, Chateau de Grignon, to cover some of it. Napoleon also paid down some of Bessières' debts and set up a yearly pension for Marie-Jeanne her son. According to some accounts, she struggled financially for the rest of her life.

This is what I don't like about it, and why it doesn't completely pass the sniff test.

I accept that Bessières died flat broke and in debt. In debt to whom, however? Who were his creditors?

When did he meet his mistress? Was that fortune spent over a period of years, or in a fairly short time?

Even as a Marshal of France he had to pay his officers out of his own pocket, and provide his own carriages and some supplies on campaign. If he was flat broke, how did he continue to pay his officers?

Bessières was also bad with money to begin with. He was known to be generous and charitable, to the point where he'd be giving away money to anyone whom he thought was more in need than he was with it. Allegedly, Virginie was in debt herself, and he paid down all of them out of the apparent goodness of his heart.

(This raises even more questions. Was she a gold digger, was she blackmailing him, was he totally besotted with her that he didn't realize what the hell he was doing? Was he just lonely? Did they have genuine feelings for one another? There's a lot of there there, but no real answers.)

My conclusion is, no, Bessières did not spend 600,000 to one million francs on his mistress. Her presence, however, was not helpful to his situation.

He paid down Virginie's debts, however much they were. Being terrible with money, he kept putting himself in a financial hole, and then he kept digging. The upkeep on Chateau de Grignon had to be ridiculous. He still had to pay his officers and his staff. He was probably borrowing and burning through money and racking up the debt. Like that meme goes, "This is fine" while everything's burning down around him. A bit like using a credit card to pay down a credit card, as one might do in the modern parlance.

(His financial problems may have contributed to his increasing depression towards the end of his life as well. Was someone blackmailing him with his debts? Another interesting question that can never be adequately addressed.)

From what I've gathered, he hid all his problems from pretty much everyone. Even Napoleon seemed caught off guard with how bad Bessières' finances were. I argue that the 600,000 to one million francs he owed upon his death were cumulative and not to a single person as the historical narrative wants people to believe.

It seems a small thing to be annoyed with, but there seems to be more than a bit of misogyny to lay all of Bessières' troubles on a single woman as the historical narrative seems to want to do.

Another thing ... if Bessières burned a lot of his recent correspondence towards the end of his life, what exactly was the evidence Marie-Jeanne discovered as proof of the affair. How did she prove it? Did other people know about the affair and kept her in the dark? If so, who was that?

In the novel, "The Battle" by Patrick Rimbaud, a semi-fictionalized account of the Battle of Aspern-Essling, Rimbaud's characterization of Bessières has him wear two gold lockets under his Marshal's uniform. One for Marie-Jeanne, the other for Virginie. I don't know if Rimbaud based that on an actual account, or if it was something he made up. I have a lot of problems with that book though, probably because the translation seems somewhat robotic and not great. It's an interesting idea, however, and maybe worth keeping around as a headcanon.

Did Madame Bessières struggle financially for the rest of her life afterwards? Possibly. I don't have enough information to make a conclusion there, but it's not impossible. She did continue to faithfully visit his tomb for years after his death.

TL;DR Bessières died broke and in debt but it wasn't all because of his mistress. If someone else has something to the contrary, I'd love to read it.

#in my headcanon #the other locket has Murat's portrait in it #now wouldn't that be trippy for people to find #jean baptiste bessières #napoleon's marshals #my old journalism professor would have an apoplexy reading some of these historical accounts #they fail the basic how what when why where test #napoleonic era

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rodeo-clowns · 2 years

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Hey, can you write relationship headcanons for Sarah Sanderson with a female s/o? I’m lowkey obsessed with her and there’s barely any content on tumblr about her :((

Sarah Sanderson with a female s/o: Headcanons

A/N: Tysm for requesting this! I agree there's hardly any Sarah Sanderson fanfic which sucks bc after watching the second movie my childhood crush on her came back quick! Kinda glad though bc it made me take matters into my own hands and come out of my writer's block. Sorry if there are any typos I wrote this while coming down from a caffeine high lol.

Word count: 395 words

Warnings: None really except a song reference that is supposed to sound like a smut reference lol!

If you're a witch, the two of you would practice spells together and she’d convince her sister to let you join their coven.

If you’re not a witch then she’d constantly do magic to try to keep you entertained.

For example, if you were sad she’d conjure up a cat for you (not Binx unfortunately).

Scaring children together (as well as helping her steal some yknow).

Flying around on her broomstick together.

Pissing off Winnie together (unintentionally or intentionally who knows?).

Her telling you about Billy Butcherson.

Constant back and forth compliments over each other's outfits.

She tries to do silly hairstyles with your hair and fails.

If you have curly hair you take the time to teach her though (she’d still fail but).

If you’re living in the modern world then the two of you have a cute cottage together deep in the forbidden forest where it looks like it's Halloween all year long.

If you're living in the past though, the two of you live in secret in the forbidden forest together.

Constant hand-holding as well as kissing.

Winnie is sick of you two, Mary loves it.

Making each other jewelry.

Making potions together.

Causing chaos in Salem together.

Say you weren't burnt at the stake with the sisters, you stay alive all those centuries waiting for them.

You’re absolutely beaming when she’s revived in the 90s and show her all your favorite things about modern life.

When she fades at the end of Hocus Pocus 2 you cry uncontrollably because she keeps slipping away from you.

She constantly gifts you flowers or random things she found while walking around because they reminded her of you so much.

She gives you the best hugs when you’re sad.

Together, you make such a great duo that even her sisters joke that you should have your own coven (although Winnie would never let that happen).

Swapping outfits.

Trying to stop her from eating beauty products. You’d be like “no, that's not meant to be eaten you could die!” then she looks at you all confused while still drinking facial serum.

Having to explain to her technological advances, which really bloody gets you in the mood (if you know, you know).

Falling asleep in each other arms all the time.

Takes naps anywhere.

Literally anywhere like it gets ridiculous.

Always saying “I love you,” to each other.

#sarah sanderson #sarah sanderson x reader #sarah sanderson imagine #sarah sanderson x fem!reader #sarah sanderson x female!reader #hocus pocus #hocus pocus 2 #sarah sanderson blurb #sarah sanderson headcanon #sarah sanderson headcanons #lesbian #wlw #sapphic fanfic #sapphic #sapphic fanfiction #sanderson sisters #the sanderson sisters

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sgiandubh · 5 months

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National personification

The UK has Britannia. France has Marianne. The US have Uncle Sam. National personifications, summing up supposed collective qualities and passing on a message, both to citizens and foreigners alike. Instantly recognizable by just about anyone. To be found everywhere, from city halls (busts, frescoes, tapestries) to subway walls (Army conscription posters - of course it rings a bell!).

Romania has this:

This is Revolutionary Romania, as seen by C.D. Rosenthal, an Austrian painter who found both friendship and an avid clientele among the Romanian young rebels who tried and failed to overthrow the corrupted Ottoman rule, in 1848. Following them in exile and probably also spying on their behalf, Rosenthal was finally arrested in Budapest and tortured to death by the Imperial authorities: a normal occurrence in troubled times. His memory went on and on and on, because the same friends were soon to come back home and become ministers, bankers, newspaper owners: a modern democracy slowly emerged.

This is his most famous portrait and it quickly became our Britannia of sorts. Ceaușescu had it placed in his office, for inspiration - it did not help much, though.

The woman painted by Rosenthal holds the red, yellow and blue flag and is dressed in a Southern peasant costume, as it was worn at the time. She gazes with strength, determination and confidence towards a future that spells free press, parliamentary elections, industrialization and capitalist speculation. In real life, she is Maria Rosetti, a personal friend and sponsor of his. The wife of C.A. Rosetti, an authentic Prince of Genoese and Greek stock, one of the leaders of both the rebellion and the future Liberal Party. Also a many times removed relative of this blogger - but let's not insist. 😉

There is a catch, however, in all this fine and dandy story. Our national personification, the woman I just mentioned, is Scottish. Her life begins in Guernsey in 1819, as Marie Grant, the daughter of Captain Edward Grant, a ship-owner businessman and member of the Clan Grant of Carron and Spey and Marie La Lacheur, a French Huguenot woman.

These people, who fought as Jacobites at Prestonpans and Culloden and whose motto was 'Stand Fast':

Marie came to Wallachia, or what is now the Southern part of Romania, around 1837, following her younger brother, Effingham Grant, who just managed to find a lucrative job as the private secretary of another Scot (Glaswegian, even), Robert Gilmour Colquhoun, the newly appointed British Consul-General. At the time, these were long term postings, not unlike a long sojourn on a space station of sorts: Colquhoun remained in Bucharest from 1835 to 1854, when he eventually was posted to Bosnia.

Because she needed to support herself, Marie found a well paid live-in job as a governess for the family of Ion Odobescu, a high ranking Police honcho (also a far removed relative, this time on my maternal grandmother's side - the world is really, really small). The rest was easy enough: having met Rosetti through her brother, they fell in love, eloped to Plymouth and got married there, for what was to become a life long equal political and business partnership. Because they owned several newspapers, she is our first female journalist. A truly remarkable woman, a philanthropist and an indispensable voice advocating for the dispossessed. Effingham went on to establish the biggest foundry in the country, along with a real estate company, a tobacco manufacture, an orchid greenhouse and a bread factory - all prospered beyond any expectations. A heavy traffic steel bridge in Bucharest still bears his name. Enduring legacies.

For those brave enough or bored enough to look for more, here is the best detailed account on her I could find, based on Guernsey sources (but not only): https://www.priaulxlibrary.co.uk/node/386 .

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mtmcguire · 26 days

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A very unwelcome conundrum …

This week I have been mostly … …Having a crap. Yeh, I know. You didn’t even ask me how I am and I’m going to bloody well tell you. But actually, I could do with the hive mind’s advice on this one. I’m going to do personal detail here. Not much but I’m going to say the word poo a lot because that appears to be my new hobby. If you are offended by that or find it difficult, please don’t read on. I…

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#author blogs #I fucked this up so you don&039;t have to #istuffedthisupsoyoudon’thaveto #M T M Makes a complete tit of herself #M T McGuire #Mary Fails at Modern Life #off topic

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fellow-travelers-fic-recs · 6 days

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Fellow Travelers Fic Recs | Current WIPs: April 2024

Active WIPs with most recent updates posted in the past month featuring awkward hospital room conversations, a hospital room meet-cranky, and hospital whump... I'm sensing a theme, here. More fake-ish dating, Mama Fuller wisdom, Professor Hawk, a couple road trips, some time travel and a few modern AU's. There really is something for everyone!

Happy reading!

✨ Be sure to show the authors some love and appreciation with kudos and comments on the fics you enjoyed!

🌺 Remember Our Love - Remember Me by Larnee💠[G, 638] Tim Laughlin - the love of Hawkins life is gone. Hawk struggles to move forward until someone unexpected shows up at his doorstep. Tim has never left Hawk, not now, not ever.

🌼 Chances Are by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove [G, 3K] After a family Thanksgiving, Estelle and Hawk talk. Then she meets Tim.

🌺 I Know I’ve Never Lived Before by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove [G, 3K] Wherein Hawk completely accidentally and through no fault of his own intentionally ends up dating the man he's sleeping with.

🌼 Within The Heart of Me by drabbleswabbles💠 [NR, 3K] Lucy goes to the hospital to talk to Tim. When she arrives, Hawk is already there.

Otherwise known as, a prompt fill that wanders a bit off the mark, but is close enough in spirit to give credit where credit is due as far as inspiration goes.

🌺 Darkness Before the Dawn by @beyondxmeasure | Cyantific [NR, 350] It’s June 1944, following the US offensive against the German-led Caesar line that tore through a small squad of the 141st Regiment, killing two men and wounding others, along with Sergeant Hawkins Fuller. Following the blast of the Nazi’s K5 railway gun, he underwent surgery to repair sustained shrapnel damage and is now recovering in the Army’s 32nd Evac Hospital. In the bed next to him lies Corporal Marcus Gaines from the 85th Infantry Division, also wounded in action.

Or, the story of how Hawk and Marcus met.

🌼 A Disaster Beyond Measure by drabbleswabbles💠 [NR, 23K] Hawkins Fuller is a campaign manager with a PR disaster on his hands. The solution involves pretending to date none other than Timothy Laughlin.

Featuring: unrealistic portrayals of the life and job of a campaign manager for the sake of the fake dating trope.

🌺 Who Are You (who am I?) by Anonymous [G, 2K] AU- Hawk fails his security clearance after Tim goes to the army and Senator Smith locks him in a mental hospital where he is lobotomised

Or, Tim receives a letter from Mary saying Hawk needs him.

🌼Too old to play (and too young to mess around) by @bejeweledmp3 | ninav [M, 61K] Kimberly Fuller goes on a two-week vacation to San Francisco, in which she: drinks excessive amounts of tea, gets betrayed, cries more than she should, eats donuts, and seeks out truth with the help of a man she only knows from a presentation card; not necessarily in that order.

But mostly, she finds her father in every least expected place. And learns to make her peace with what that means.

🌺Sands of Time (Turn Backwards) by @brouill3r | brouiller [NR, 22K] 1987 Hawkins Fuller is full of regrets for the life he's lived, though Tim once told him he regrets nothing. Hawk so wishes he could say the same.

In the still night air of a hotel room, clutching a cracked paperweight to his chest like it's carved of the finest gold, Hawk gets his wish.

Or, a time-travel fix-it fic that nobody asked for.

🌼 Is it over now? by @satelarry | satelarry [M, 43K] Seeing the love of your life walk away without being able to tell him that you love him has to be one of the worst situations a person can go through. But Hawk decided to fulfill Tim's request, knowing it will be the last. What happens when he wakes up, 18 years before, with the knowledge of what's going to happen if he makes the same decisions? Does the ending always stay the same?

Or, the Time Travel AU in which the only thing ruining Hawk's plan is Tim's stubbornness.

🌺 Again, only better by @madsmeetsmisha | madsmeetsmisha [M, 17K] Hawk had no idea what was really going on here. All he knew was that he was back in 1954 and a completely distraught Tim was standing outside his door. And he also knew that he certainly wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

🌼 🪴His great consuming lovage* 🪴 by @carnivalrow | nightfall_in_winter [T, 2K] Tim's potted plant has a story to tell...

🌺 We'll be on the road like Jack Kerouac by @jesterlesbian | captainquint [M, 4K] He tried to think of what Tim would do or say. The man who had only spoken to his son a handful of times over one weekend in 1968, but had seemed to understand him far better than Hawk ever had.

The business card felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket.

An idea burst to life in Hawk’s mind. This was an emergency if he’d ever seen one.

“What would you say to coming with me to San Francisco?”

Or, Hawk and Jackson go on a cross-country road trip to San Francisco.

🌼 Educate Me by @fullerthanskippy | fullerthanskippy [E, 13K] A Hawk x Tim AU in which the timelines jump from 2012-2014 to present day 2024. When present day Tim receives an invitation to the 10-year reunion of his Georgetown graduating class, he is filled with both hope and dread that he will run into one particular professor.

One man who was the through-line of his two years in grad school. The man who taught him more than he could have ever learned in the classroom.

When Tim is re-acquainted with Professor Hawkins Fuller, he immediately flashes back to 12 years prior, when he first encountered the man that he had no idea would be the greatest love and loss of his life.

Or, tons of garbage filthy smut sprinkled in between pining, angst, and fluff. Contains explicit material including but not limited to the likes of top!hawk, bottom!tim, top!tim, bottom!hawk, dom!hawk, sub!tim, bratty!tim, and much, much more. Enjoy!

🌺 I Sing the Body Electric by telescape8💠 [M, 28K] Modern AU. It all starts on Election Night 2016. Tim falls hard. Hawk falls harder.

💠Authors: if your tumblr (or other socials) isn’t linked, and you'd like it to be, let me know and I'll be happy to add it! Or, if you’re linked already and would prefer not to be, please contact me to remove it.

#works in progress #fellow travelers fic recs #ftficrecs #fellow travelers fics #ftfics wips #ftfics apr24 #fellow travelers

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bethanydelleman · 6 months

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Northanger Abbey Readthrough Ch 23

So the joke of this chapter, which I will admit to not understanding on my first read, is that General Tilney is deliberately showing Catherine everything he has renovated, so the newest and most fancy parts of the abbey, while all that Catherine wants to see is the old stuff. She's basically getting the brag tour and she wants the historical tour.

When the general had satisfied his own curiosity, in a close examination of every well-known ornament

Eleanor wants to take Catherine further, but the General is against it because "Had not Miss Morland already seen all that could be worth her notice?" The real meaning here is that nothing else is fancy enough for his pleasure, but Catherine's imagination is running again, "Something was certainly to be concealed"

The General’s improving hand had not loitered here: every modern invention to facilitate the labour of the cooks had been adopted within this, their spacious theatre; and, when the genius of others had failed, his own had often produced the perfection wanted.

General Tilney sounding a lot like John Thorpe here, but again, just more educated:

He told her of horses which he had bought for a trifle and sold for incredible sums; of racing matches, in which his judgment had infallibly foretold the winner; of shooting parties, in which he had killed more birds (though without having one good shot) than all his companions together; and described to her some famous day’s sport, with the fox-hounds, in which his foresight and skill in directing the dogs had repaired the mistakes of the most experienced huntsman, and in which the boldness of his riding, though it had never endangered his own life for a moment, had been constantly leading others into difficulties, which he calmly concluded had broken the necks of many. (Ch 9)

It's like the Thorpes were a nice warm-up for Catherine's discernment and now she's up against the real boss of liars.

As a mom, I can never read this without a bit of distress: by passing through a dark little room, owning Henry’s authority, and strewed with his litter of books, guns, and greatcoats. Litter of guns!!! What if a child toddles into this room, sir? I know there are no children about but STILL. Litter of guns, indeed.

Also, Catherine's general displeasure with this tour reminds me of Mary Crawford's speech about viewing houses in Mansfield Park:

“That she should be tired now, however, gives me no surprise; for there is nothing in the course of one’s duties so fatiguing as what we have been doing this morning: seeing a great house, dawdling from one room to another, straining one’s eyes and one’s attention, hearing what one does not understand, admiring what one does not care for. It is generally allowed to be the greatest bore in the world, and Miss Price has found it so, though she did not know it.” (ch 9)

I love Catherine being shocked about how numerous the servants are, since in Gothic novels only one or two are needed. Also, the note of how Mrs. Allen found that unrealistic. Catherine hasn't had to manage household staffing, cleaning, and cooking yet!. This is one of the things I liked about Emma 2020 by the way, the little touches they added with the servants always being around.

Catherine compares General Tilney to Montoni, and for those like me who have not yet read The Mysteries of Udolpho:

Montoni is a prototypical Gothic villain. Brooding, haughty and scheming, he masquerades as an Italian nobleman to gain Madame Cheron's hand in marriage, then imprisons Emily and Madame Cheron in Udolpho in an attempt to take control of Madame Cheron's wealth and estates. He is cold and often cruel to Emily, who believes him to be a captain of banditti. (Wikipedia)

Okay, Catherine. (Then again, it is weird that he just paces back and fourth for a full hour in the drawing room. Sit down, sir.)

Catherine sometimes started at the boldness of her own surmises, and sometimes hoped or feared that she had gone too far; but they were supported by such appearances as made their dismissal impossible.

Oh Catherine. This is the part where it's nearly impossible not to feel some secondhand embarrassment. I want to send Fanny Price or Anne Elliot to the abbey to straighten her out.

Also, here is some more information about those pamphlets the General is reading. He may be looking for traitors.

#northanger abbey readthrough #northanger abbey #general tilney #brag tour

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laurelwen · 7 months

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The Widow Bonnet and Annie Hall

(a repost of my 5-15-22 Reddit post for posterity)

So, the first time we see Mary as The Widow Bonnet, her wardrobe has changed significantly. While living with Stede, she dressed in fairly conventional, vaguely 18th century clothing. After her emancipation, we see her wearing clothing that leans very heavily toward a more modern menswear aesthetic: darker, textured suiting fabrics, plain shirts, and ties. Her looks immediately made me think of Diane Keaton's iconic style, which is so famously highlighted in the movie Annie Hall. After a long search through the snippets of showrunner interviews and the costume department Instagram posts/comments and failing to find any reference to inspiration for Mary's costumes, I decided to make the case myself.

After tracking down a number of screenshots of Mary and Keaton, I am more convinced than ever that Christine Wada was inspired by Keaton and Annie Hall in particular. It makes sense as a source of inspiration: Annie starts out the movie uncertain, lacking confidence, allowing herself to be steered by the man she is dating, following a path chosen by someone else. Later, she gains confidence, independence, and thrives on her own while pursuing a career as an artist (singer). Diane Keaton famously styled her own character for that film and has maintained a signature look incorporating a lot of the same cues throughout her life: menswear in a neutral palette, often slightly oversized or loosely tailored pieces, including ties, waistcoats, and blazers. Mary seems to have a very similar aesthetic in her post-Stede life, which tracks with her journey--coming into her own ON her own and reveling in her independence. Mary is absolutely thriving when Stede returns, and like Annie, she isn't going to be drawn backward and subsumed into her old relationship or patterns.

The vest and tie signature look:

You cannot possibly argue that anything about this is coincidental:

These looks are less direct, but there's an obvious through line:

#just in case any of my like minds followers wondered - i am not normal about other things too #ofmd #our flag means death #mary bonnet #annie hall #diane keaton #claudia o'doherty #ofmd s1 #ofmd season 1 #ofmd analysis

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fibula-rasa · 19 days

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Favorite New-to-me Films—March ‘24

(listed in order pictured above, L to R)

READ on BELOW the JUMP!

Forbidden Fruit (1921)

[letterboxd | imdb]

C.B. DeMille and Jeanie MacPherson’s second swing at this modernized Cinderella story about overcoming a bad husband, now with eye-popping fantasy sequences designed by Natacha Rambova. [Gif sets incoming!]

Mary Maddock (Agnes Ayres) does seamstress work and takes in laundry to support her layabout, no-goodnik husband. Her wealthy clients (Kathlyn Williams & Theodore Roberts) hatch a scheme to use a social event to settle a business deal with handsome young entrepreneur Nelson Rogers (Forrest Stanley). Mary accepts the job to keep Rogers occupied, with the unintended consequence of the two falling in love. When Mary’s husband makes a surprise appearance, the jig is up. But, after her husband’s chicanery has deadly consequences, Mary and Rogers are free to live happily ever after. CW: a pet bird is killed.

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The Woman King (2022)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Giving an epic treatment to fitting subject matter, Gina Prince-Bythewood, Maria Bello, and Dana Stevens tell the story of the Agojie, a real-life group of warriors from the kingdom of Dahomey in West Africa, and General Nanisca (Viola Davis), a fictional leader of the warriors. The Woman King has a creative approach to history, to which a lot of critical attention has been paid—it’s certainly worth seeking education on relevant historical topics.

That said, it was a gutsy and risky proposition to tell a story tied into the Transatlantic slave trade focused entirely on the West African and Portuguese side for an American (and English speaking) audience. Also, as an avid fan of Xena: Warrior Princess and the Eddas/sagas of Iceland and Scandinavia, I appreciated the filmmakers taking a legendary approach to this location and time period. In its deliberately extra-historical engagement with history, The Woman King also brought to mind for me Senegalese filmmaker Ousmane Sembène‘s Ceddo (1971), which I highly recommend. (Obviously the films have wildly different tones/styles tho!)

As you might imagine from the description, heavy CWs for violence (including SA), blood, and slavery.

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Why Change Your Wife? (1920)

[letterboxd | imdb]

A month ago, I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me that I’d be putting not one but two DeMille movies on my new-to-me favorites list! I initially watched them as reference for the cosplay I mentioned in the last monthly round-up post, but ended up enjoying both! Often there are elements of DeMille’s films that hamper my ability to enjoy them fully, whether it’s goofy class politics (hello Saturday Night), racist depictions (hi The Woman God Forgot, which I also watched for the first time this past month), or that I simply rarely enjoy christian bible epics.

That’s not to say Why Change Your Wife? is somehow perfect—it features pretty sexist attitudes. But, having learned a little bit about DeMille’s unconventional marriage, I see it less of a story of wives failing and more of a story about how two people who have a solid partnership can lose themselves when they lose each other. Here I’m referring to the first part of the film, before Swanson’s Beth and Meighan’s Robert get divorced. Beth isn’t being true to herself when she’s on her mental-improvement kick—there are sufficient details thrown in that show that she and Robert have drifted apart and she’s responding to it by morphing into a maiden aunt type. The film could’ve made Robert’s role in their marriage’s demise a little more overt, but I do think DeMille and screenwriters Olga Printzlau, Sada Cowan, and William DeMille must have been concerned about the American public’s response to a story that normalizes divorce in 1920. For context, we didn’t have no-fault divorce here in the US until the 1970s.

Anyway, why should you watch it? Gloria Swanson and Bebe Daniels offer fun and energetic characterizations as the two Mrs. Gordons, and they share a pretty wild fight scene. The costumes by Natacha Rambova are funky and interesting. The film features an absolutely adorable dog too! (If anyone recognizes the dog please LMK!) [Gif sets for this film are also on the way!]

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Intohimon vallassa (1947)

[letterboxd | imdb | ELONET]

Teuvo Tulio don’t miss.

The heir to the biggest farm in the county, Aino (Regina Linnanheimo), is forced into an arranged marriage, but the man she really loves, Olavi (Kullervo Kalske), sticks around and becomes the town blacksmith. Years pass and Aino’s husband becomes an alcoholic and an abuser. Olavi keeps his distance as Aino’s marriage implodes in a particularly disturbing fashion. CW: domestic abuse, alcoholism, implied death of dog

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Look at me watching more than one movie this year that was made in this century! Anyways, I’ve been a turtle fan as long as I can remember (photographic evidence below) and I love that the comics have been re-adapted so well in the last 15 or so years for younger generations. (The 2012 show is very cute btw, worth checking out especially if you have kids.)

This take features a unique and kinetic animation style with an accessible story touching on what makes someone an outcast and how both adults and kids can navigate that. Mutant Mayhem features probably my new favorite depictions of April and of Splinter. Also, even though the non-turtle characters are almost all celebrity voice actors, the voice acting quality is very high.

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Montana Moon (1930)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Sweet romantic story with comedic elements about a millionaire’s willful daughter (Joan Crawford) who, fleeing an awkward situation on a train ride with her family, runs into a cowboy (Johnny Mack Brown). The two quickly fall in love and are married, but the newlyweds face challenges when the differences in their lifestyles come into sharp relief. I love Crawford’s costuming and styling in this and her performance elevates the material. There are extended sequences with classic country-western music tho, so if that grates on you, you might want to take a pass on this one.

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Leda – The Fantastic Adventure of Yohko (1985)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Yoko Asagiri is a young girl struggling to confess her feelings to the boy she likes. She decides to confess via a song she composed herself, but the song turns out to be a key to another world. Yoko teams up with a talking dog and a tiny warrior girl with a giant robot to fight the villainous Zell, who wants to use Yoko’s song to conquer her world. The animation and designs are top-notch as is the music. I personally enjoyed all of the Oz vibes suffused throughout the OVA.

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Tomatos Another Day (1934)

[letterboxd | imdb | Eastman House]

Also known as “It Never Happened,” this is ostensibly a short film about a woman carrying on an affair and said affair being discovered by her husband. What Tomatos Another Day actually is is a send up of early talkies conceived and executed by independent filmmaker James Sibley Watson Jr. and collaborator Alec Wilder. If you’ve been around my blog for a while, you probably already know that I love Watson’s Fall of the House of Usher (1928) [Gifs/Stills]. However, I haven’t seen much else of his work! Thankfully, Eastman House has preserved and digitized a couple of his films and I plan on watching more soon. The link above has the short film with an introduction and outtakes!

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Past Lives (2023)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Past Lives is a quiet but emotionally-rich love story by Celine Song that spans decades but also a single eventful week. I loved the way that the story was structured and how much the film relied on thoughtful pauses to communicate complicated emotions. The actors, Greta Lee, Teo Yoo, and John Magaro, all put in great work here. If you haven’t seen it yet, but plan to watch it, prepare to cry a bit.

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The Mind Reader (1933)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Warren William plays a carny with a different gimmick for every town in the midwest. When the Depression affects his take, he and his cohorts, Frank (Alan Jenkins) and Sam (Clarence Muse), come up with a new scheme: fortune telling. As Chandra the Great, the crew start to rake it in, but when Chandra falls for an upright citizen (Constance Cummings), the scheme and their freedom is put in jeopardy.

I’m not accustomed to William playing this particular brand of sleazebag, but he really kills it as Chandra/Chandler/Munro. I appreciated how creative and adventurous the cinematography and editing is—not an especially common trait for pre-code films. I also made some still sets for the film!

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Honorable Mention: Hard to Handle (1933) [letterboxd | imdb]

This film gets honorable mention because while I didn’t think it was particularly good, a few call outs are deserved. The bad: the plot was unnecessarily convoluted and the recurring sequences with fat people were iffy at best. The better: Ruth Donnelly shines as the comedically base mother of Mary Brian and she even gets to do a bit of physical comedy. Donnelly, Brian, and Cagney have a nice chemistry together throughout. In terms of costuming, the matching outfits of Brian and Donnelly are funny, but made funnier by the sheer quantity of mother-daughter ensembles they wear. The neutral: the film is packed with topical Depression-era references: notably Florida investment swindles and trends like dance marathons and the grapefruit diet. All-in-all, the filmmakers could have done less and achieved more.

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The only big post I completed this month was a massive undertaking: Lost, but Not Forgotten: Omar Khayyam / A Lover’s Oath and a timeline for the film’s production and release.

Otherwise, I made themed gif and still sets from:

Torture Garden (1967)

The Marriage Circle (1924)

Le Altre (1969)

The Mind Reader (1933)

As for April, the cosplay I mentioned should be up very soon. If I have the time, both Lost, but Not Forgotten and How’d They Do That should have new installments posted and I have a few movies/shows on my themed gif/still agenda.

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☕Appreciate my work? Buy me a coffee! ☕

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ineffablelunatic · 1 year

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What the ghosts do for Valentine's Day

Thomas - he sighs a lot. He waits by windows and doorframes. He basically follows Alison everywhere swooning. He writes even more dodgy poetry than usual. He is generally very annoying.

Humphrey - he hopes that his body will come past and pick him up. He doesn't really talk to anyone much unless they're passing through, but when he was alive he didn't have much romance, anyway.

Kitty - she loves valentine's day. She also follows Alison around, although for her it's more to find out about modern romance. She spends the whole day happily chattering about how lovely and romantic it is, and she tries to set up a valentine's day dinner (which fails, because she can't touch anything).

Pat - when he was alive he had fairly simple valentine's day traditions. He would go out on a date with his wife, maybe have a nice dinner, and that was about it. This valentine's day he decides to try and set up a love club. Most people appreciate it, but Captain clams up entirely.

Captain - he feels very melancholy all day. He's quieter than usual, and spends a lot of time staring out of the window. He refuses to participate in love club, saying only that he didn't have much of a love life.

Fanny - she spends the whole day complaining about how she never got much love from her husband, and then cursing George's name repeatedly. Most of the other ghosts try and avoid her, because she's in a very bad mood.

Robin - mocks the entire concept of valentine's day because he doesn't believe in monogamy. He talks about how when he was alive, he just slept with his sister (and everyone else) and never bothered with all this "romance" stuff.

Julian - talks even more than usual about his past romantic conquests. He's even more outrageous than he normally is, and only Robin bothers to go near him, as they share similar views on the tradition. Julian always went out with women other than his wife on valentine's day, and he sees no sense in the whole "flowers and dinner" thing.

Mary (gone but not forgotten) - when she was around she was content to listen to everyone else. Her own husband died shortly after their marriage, and they never really had valentine's day when she was alive. It was a small town, after all, and romance wasn't the same back then.

#bbc ghosts #valentine's day #can you imagine how sad captain would be?#Thomas would have a dramatic moment #at least kitty would be happy

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touloserrrr · 8 months

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Since I am totally very normal about Six… I have decided to overanalyse all the lyrics: Don’t Lose Ur Head

Grew up in the French Court

Initially I thought this meant Boleyn was French, but a simple google search actually reveals she was born in England, but did part of her education in France as a maid of honour (lady in waiting) to the French queen.

Oui, oui, bonjour

“Yes, yes, hello” in French to indicate her upbringing.

Life was a chore so (she set sail)

1522 came straight to the UK

Boleyn returned to England that year to marry a distant cousin. This was planned simply in the interest of her family for some land.

All the British dudes, lame

Epic fail

This engagement was broken off at some point, though there is nothing to suggest a specific reason. This has left Boleyn a single woman in England.

Ooh, I wanna dance and sing

This could be a reference to her character in the musical as she had become a singer here, however, this could also reference the fact Boleyn was known for singing and dancing rather well.

Politics, not my thing

Ooh, but then I met the King

Boleyn became a maid of honour to Catherine of Aragon, which led to her meeting Henry. In 1526, he became interested in her and attempted to seduce her.

And soon my daddy said, "You should try and get ahead"

Might be about trying to get ahead of her sister Mary Boleyn, who was Henry’s past mistress but nothing more. Additionally, this line sounds like “get a head”, hinting at her eventual loss of a head.

He wanted me, huh, obviously

Messaging me like everyday

This is of course as in sending letters, but could be a parody of the trope of the cheating husband messaging his lover on his phone every day and having to be secretive about it to his wife.

Couldn't be better, then he sent me a letter and who am I kidding

I was prêt-à-manger

I do not speak any French so had to use google translate; “ready to eat”. I was confused at first why this line would be used, but I figured it may be one of these possibilities: could be literally referring to royal food as Henry was very wealthy and ate better than anyone else at the time; ready to eat up all of the love she is given; or it could be a sexual innuendo.

Ooh, sent a reply

Ooh, just saying hi

Ooh, you're a nice guy

Surface level, seems like Boleyn is saying she believed Henry was a decent man. However, overanalysis kicks in! This possibly could be a reference to the modern use of the term “nice guy”; a man who acts nice to a woman but believes he is entitled to something, so if something does not go his way, he flips.

I'll think about it maybe, xo baby

Here we go

(You sent him kisses)

I didn't know I would move in with his misses

Boleyn, Aragon and Henry were living in the same palace due to Boleyn’s position in court, but later she was moved to her own lodging to be closer to Henry.

(What?)

Get a life

You're living with his wife?

Like, what was I meant to do?

Once Henry made up his mind, the woman in his life had little control over the next events. This is later proven in ‘I Don’t Need Your Love’. Boleyn did not have many options in her situation.

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

Boleyn was known to have some rather controversial things (at the time) when angered, one of the most notable examples being “Ainsi sera groigne qui groigne”, which means “Let them grumble; that is how it is going to be”, this being her motto. This line could possibly also be about the things she said to Henry which led to him annulling his marriage with Catherine of Aragon, and becoming supreme head of the Church of England.

I'm just tryna have some fun

Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head

To ‘lose your head’ means to lose self-control or panic, but it also obviously refers to the fact that Boleyn was beheaded, so she literally was the one to lose her head.

I didn't mean to hurt anyone

LOL, say oh well

The use of modern language that has been popularised with social media contrasts with the time period these events took place. Additionally, this language is rather casual, so it shows the character’s attitude to the whole situation.

Or go to hell

This is another major contrast - the line before this was rather innocent-sounding, and suggests she had no ill-intent, yet this line is the complete opposite as the Tudor times were very religious so this would’ve been taken rather seriously.

I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

Don't lose your head

Three in the bed and the little one said

This is a reference to the famous (at least in England) nursery song ‘Ten In The Bed’. In this bit the character of Boleyn points to herself in reference to “the little one”, which could also be highlighting how Anne Boleyn was around 10 years younger than Henry, and more than that than Aragon.

If you wanna be wed, make up your mind

Her or me, chum

The letters Henry sent to Boleyn indicate she refused to sleep with him for most of their relationship before marriage, likely because it was looked down upon if a woman wasn’t a virgin before marriage. This likely was a factor in why Henry decided he wanted Boleyn to be more than just another one of his mistresses.

Don't wanna be some

Girl in a threesome

Are you blind?

Ooh, don't be bitter

Ooh, 'cause I'm fitter

This shows a sort of conflict between Aragon and Boleyn, which may represent how civilians of England would show support to different queens (mainly Aragon) as a new queen was a rather large change at the time.

Ooh, why hasn't it hit her?

He doesn't want to bang you

Somebody hang you

This might refer to a quote by Anne Boleyn, where she said would “rather see her hanged than acknowledge her as her mistress”.

Here we go

Your comment went viral

This is relevant to social media today how certain things can ‘go viral’, and can lead to cancel culture, like how Boleyn became hated by most of England, mostly because Aragon was a beloved queen.

I didn't really mean it but rumours spiral

Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you

As I stated before, Boleyn was hated and unpopular with a lot of the English population, and that led to some riots against her.

Mate, what was I meant to do?

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

I'm just tryna have some fun

Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head

I didn't mean to hurt anyone

LOL, say oh well

Or go to hell

I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

Don't lose your head

Tried to elope

But the pope said nope

At first Henry actually asked the pope to annul his marriage with Aragon in order to marry Boleyn, but this was obviously refused. Henry had the court meet to discuss this matter, but nothing really went from there. The two of them ended up getting married in secret.

Our only hope was Henry

He got a promotion

Henry pushed the Act of Supremacy, which made him the supreme head of the Church of England. This meant the pope held no religious authority over England, and he did divorce Aragon as he had wanted for a long time, not only because of Boleyn, but also because he wanted a son.

Caused a commotion

Set in motion the C of E

The C of E is just a shortened phrase that refers to the Church of England, whom Henry was the head of.

The rules were so outdated

This likely refers to how many times Henry’s annulment to Aragon was denied, which didn’t allow for Boleyn and Henry to marry.

Us two wanted to get x-rated

In order to sleep with one another, couples were expected to marry first, so this line is a reference to that.

Soon, ex-communicated

Everybody chill, its totes God's will

Boleyn was a Catholic and was rather religious, but not as religious as some of the other queens.

Henry's out every night on the town

Just sleeping around, like what the hell?

Henry was known to have lots of mistresses during his marriages, and his marriage to Boleyn was no exception. She already knew he used to sleep with her sister while he was married to Aragon and had a son with another woman. Historical sources claim that he had started courting Jane Seymour during this marriage.

If that's how it's gonna be

Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three

Boleyn was known to be rather flirtatious and was later charged with adultery. One of the men believed to have been a lover of hers was Mark Smeaton, who confessed to this accusation, however, this was likely after being tortured or promised freedom, so it is difficult to say if this was an accurate accusation. There were a few other men who Henry claimed Boleyn had romantic affairs with, but there is not that much evidence for those, which is why historians often theorise Henry made up these charges in order to get rid of his wife in order to marry Seymour.

Just to make him jell

Henry finds out and he goes mental

He screams and shouts

Like so judgemental

You damned witch

Boleyn wasn’t actually charged with witchcraft, but a lot of people over the years spread the rumour of her being a witch, claiming she had a sixth finger - and deformities like this were associated with witchcraft in the past. There is no real evidence to suggest she did have this.

Mate, just shut up

Women weren’t expected to stand up to their husbands, so Boleyn telling Henry to “shut up” would have been very much looked down upon.

I wouldn't be such a b-

Throughout the entire musical, curse words are censored mostly by the other queens interrupting.

If you could get it up

Here we go

(Is that what you said?)

And now he's going 'round like off with her head

(No)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it

(Seems it)

Of course, this is referring to how Henry decided to have Boleyn executed, specifically by beheading. The phrase “off with their head” became popularised by Lewis Carroll, who published his original books on Alice in Wonderland, which is said by the Queen of Hearts.

What was I meant to do?

(What was she meant to do?)

Like what was I meant to do?

(What was she meant to do?)

No, but what was I meant to do?

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

I'm just tryna have some fun

Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head

I didn't mean to hurt anyone

LOL, say oh well

Or go to hell (she's going to hell)

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what she said

Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said

Don't lose your head

Haha sorry

In a fit of anger, Boleyn would say things she regretted, which is reflected by the fact she apologised only at the end.

EXTRA: After this song, the character of Boleyn attempts to perform a solo song titled ‘Wearing Yellow To A Funeral’. This is a reference to how after Catherine of Aragon died, Henry was happy to hear the news, and attended her funeral with his new wife Anne Boleyn. They were both wearing yellow, which was a colour that symbolised mourning in Spain (Aragon’s country of origin), but joy and celebration in England.

#six #six the musical #anne boleyn #overanalysis #musicals

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