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#Magic Meat May
galacticgoldfishart · 2 months
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~Arin's Magical Girl Transformation~
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do-rey-me · 16 days
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tbis is probably sooo niche but can u imagine laios dungeon meshi in crown of candys calorum? hed eat houses, mountains even
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mlpoutofcontext · 2 years
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Heres my concept art for what it would be like if Gameloft’s My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (2012) had a Whataburger in it
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bat-connoisseur · 4 months
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"🌳 Would your OC survive for a week on their own in the wilderness?" and "🌊 Has your OC ever seen the ocean? If not, do they want to? What do they think of it?" for whoever you wish
I'll go ahead and answer for Deimos and Lethe since they've been on the brain recently.
Deimos:
🌳- Probably. He can hunt reasonably well and knows to stay the hell away from owlbears and such, and even though he's used to living in a city he's not used to excess or easily coming by the things he needs. Plus his magic would make keeping warm and lighting fires much easier. His main issue would probably be water but if he could find a stream then he'd be fine. Although let's be honest Deimos the kind of guy to drink out of a puddle and contract a disease. Hopefully a survivable one but it wouldn't help.
🌊- He's seen it! He's from a coastal city :> He likes it well enough and thinks it's pretty to look at but prefers to stay on land. Swimming isn't his strong suit and I feel like the sheer scale of the sea would freak him out a bit. On a boat in the middle of the ocean with just flat nothing on all sides and who knows what below him? That's scary stuff for a little freak of a man.
Lethe:
🌳- Lethe can survive the wilderness, but he would have a bad time. He survived alone in the Underdark for a while which I feel would have transferable skills (how to not be eaten by something that really wants to eat you) but he'd struggle with the elements (getting rained on and then chilled to the bone by wind for example). There's also his tendency to freak out and hurt animals which would be fine if it was something small he could eat, but fuck with the wrong creature and he would be in a lot of trouble. He's not helped by the fact that he can't really do magic all that well without an instrument so he'd struggle much more than Deimos. He would make it though. And he would know better than to drink out of a puddle.
🌊- He's seen multiple! He appreciates the beauty of it and the general poetic wonder of large bodies of water, but prefers them as metaphors. He doesn't know how to work a boat, he also never learnt to swim (it's all instinct mr freeman, I'm scared!!) so he admires it from a safe distance. Also being confined in a limited space with nowhere to escape to is a worrying prospect for a man who kills people uncontrollably sometimes. Boats and Lethe do not mix I would say.
Ask game (still up for more!) (even if you dont wanna ask click the link. I changed my blog theme :3)
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cryptotheism · 7 months
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Tell us about the wellness to fash pipeline tho
Here's a recent piece from the guardian on wellness communities and Qanon, so don't take my word for it.
"Wellness" is not just alternative medicine, it is essentially a theory of the body which posits if something makes you feel better, you are better in some meaningful way. I would argue it one of the most commonly held nonreligious magical beliefs in the modern world.
Wellness as a concept has its genesis in the 1950s with "workplace wellness" programs, a sort of budget alternative to offering employee healthcare benefits. This was an era soaked in itinerant business preachers offering classes on things like "hypnosis at a management level" and "yoga to improve leadership abilities". I am exaggerating for effect, but not by much.
The capitalist medical system regularly abandons people. We've all heard stories of profit driven pharmaceudical companies holding the ill hostage for extreme markup on life-saving medicines. People have real, legitimate, reasons to mistrust medical professionals.
Let's say you have chronic pain, and everything your doctor offers you is either ineffective, expensive, or addictive. You are desperate for literally any release, so you start looking into other solutions. You will find an OCEAN of snake-oil salesmen willing to sell you "the secrets doctors don't want you to know."
What is frustrating, is that pain is actually partially psychological. Some wellness techniques may have an actual, medical, benefit on some patients. The worst thing a conspiracy theorist can have is a point. So now you actually do kinda feel better, and you have a sense of loyalty to the grifter selling you 300$ Sumerian Cock Oil Pills. These people are the core of the wellness industry. They are the examples that everyone else points to and says "Well it worked for them!"
Reactionary thought blooms in environments like this. If the medical industry can't be trusted, what else can't be trusted? At any given time, you are two clicks away from "vaccines cause autism." Three clicks away from "Cavemen were 15 feet tall because they only ate meat." And four clicks away from "The medical industry is controlled by The Jews to drain our wallets and keep us sick." Echoes of Nazi attitudes towards German-Jewish doctors are a common backbeat.
Wellness itself is relatively harmless, (compared to the things it is adjacent to) but it acts as a sort of idealogical airport that exposes the curious to a deluge of potentially radicalizing communities. The longer you spend in communities like this, the higher the chance you'll come across something that meshes perfectly with your own biases.
If y'all wanna learn more about wellness and pseudomedicine grifters, I highly recommend the podcast Maintenance Phase.
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Heyy bbg 😩
How was ur dayyy, mine was ok i went shopping 😘
Whats ur favorite colorrr, i like blue 😝
How would the boyz react to breaking the bedframe during sum rough... activities 😉😏😩😳
Dont forgor to drink water and get atleast 6 hrs of sleep pls 🥺
Heyyy! I am so sorry this took me so long to start on, I went a little MIA there, lol. So of course my first post of 2024 is OM smut lol Happy 2024 everyone! Now, on to the hcs! Mature content below the cut. Warnings for Levi's section, implied monster f*ck*ng, very slight.
Lucifer
This bastard makes no secret of how proud he is to make a mess of MC.
His reaction depends on the position, if the bedframe cracks while he is on top, then he makes sure MC's safe before continuing elsewhere.
MC's barely had time to comprehend that the bedframe gave way underneath them before Lucifer is scooping them up and resuming their activities on his desk or against the wall.
"Lucifer, did we-?"
"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, my darling. Now, sing for me~"
But. If that bed breaks while MC's on top? That is a very different story.
"Look at you, taking me so well even the bed can't take it~"
"Go on, love, do it again."
Demon does not give a shit, clasps MC's thighs and holds them up while he thrusts up to meet their hips.
He may act mildly displeased at having to buy a new bed, but that aura of pure pride rolling off him the next day is fooling no one.
Mammon
Let's face it, he's so sex-drunk he probably didn't notice. He's too busy overstimming himself to the point of tears, pretty noises pouring from his kiss-bitten lips with shameless abandon.
He's the Avatar of Greed after all, and here is his greatest treasure, all naked and pretty for the taking, giving him everything he could ever want. Why in nine circles of hell would he stop?
He'll fuck until the mattress hits the ground, or until MC tells him to stop, because he always retains enough of himself to keep them safe.
Once they're done and laying on a skewed wreck of a bed, sweat colling on their skin, that's when Mammon finally notices.
"Hey...what happened to the bed?"
MC chuckled, pressing a kiss to his brow. "You happened, baby."
His cheeks turned pink and he hid his face in their neck as though he could hide the blush from them. MC felt him grinning against their skin, until the reality struck him.
"How the fuck am I gonna explain this to Lucifer?"
Leviathan
He also wouldn't notice, but not for the reason you might think.
Usually, Levi is a very sweet lover, tends toward the submissive side and lets MC set the pace.
However...
For their lovemaking to get to the point of breaking anything, it's because Levi has gone absolutely feral.
I'm talking more demon than anything else, growling and snarling instead of whimpered, sweet moans tumbling from his lips.
You'd better believe he'll break the bed, the only thing that will stop him is MC, and if they choose not to...
He'll break a lot more than the bed.
Satan
Believe it or not, I don't actually see this happening with Satan.
He's so cautious of his wrath around MC in the bedroom that I'm no so sure he'd even be comfortable playing rough.
The most that happens with him is toppling a pile of books or something. Once, he accidently knocked into a shelf and used himself as a meat shield for MC as the avalanche came down.
That made for an awkward evening when poor Beel come to the rescue.
Asmodeus
Let's face it, if he did it, it was on purpose.
Asmodeus knows exactly what he's doing when it comes to MC's pleasure, knows exactly how to make them writhe just so that it was actually the human who let magic slip in their daze and cracked the bedpost.
The Avatar of Lust chuckled against their sex, his head buried between their thighs and his eyes alight with pure sin. "What else can I make you break, lovie?"
"S-sorry..."
"Oh no sweetheart, don't apologise. Let me see how much more I can make you sing for me~"
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cozage · 6 months
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First of all, love the way you write the characters and stories!! They’re so fun to read and always is a huge moodbooster!
May I request Law or the monster trio finding reader after finishing up a huge battle? (Like where the reader is too exhausted to move)
Please remember to take care of yourself so to not end up like overworked reader!! You’re always allowed and deserving of rest 🫶
Characters: gn reader x Law, Luffy, Sanji, Zoro Cw: post-battle exhaustion  Total word count: 800
Post Battle
Law
Law would be pissed that you spent all of your energy to fight a battle. Especially a battle that he started.
He would be more scared than anything, and he would also blame himself for putting you in this situation. He just wants you safe, and it’s not fair that you ended up like this because of him.  
He would probably scold you and warn you not to take things too far again (“your body can’t take much more of this y/n-ya. You know better”)
But he doesn’t want to lose you. That thought is the scariest thing in the world for him. He can’t live without you. 
And the fear of losing you comes out in the form of anger. But his fear will quickly extinguish, and he will quickly become the soft, loving man you know in secret. 
He’ll pick you up and shambles you both away to safety, where you are priority number one. He cares to your wounds and caters to anything you possibly need (even if he does fake-grumble about it, he really does love it)
In the future, he promises himself that he will do better and he will never put you in a position like that again. 
Sanji
Sanji didn’t even want you to fight. He’s angry that you put yourself in harm's way. Someone should’ve been there to protect you. He should’ve been there. 
Not that you can’t handle yourself. He trusts you to get the job done. He’s just mad at himself for leaving you in the first place and putting you in a situation where you had to fight. 
When he whispers your name and coos in your ear, promising you that you’ll be okay.
He calls for Chopper and he wipes your hair out of your face. He doesn’t want to move you in case he ends up hurting you further. He’s trying his best to stay calm. 
He wants to panic, and every bone in his body is screaming in agony seeing you like this, but he doesn’t want you to panic, so he tries his best to act normal (he's not super great at it tbh he is so obviously scared for you)
He keeps saying stupid things like “no no don’t talk, save your strength” or “you look so beautiful everything is going to be okay” and you have to remind him that everything WILL be okay. You’re not dying, you're just tired. 
While you're recovering he makes so. much. food. You have to pawn some off to Luffy when Sanji isn’t looking because there’s no way you can eat so much. 
Luffy
Luffy would be proud. SO so proud. 
Covering you in kisses and cheering and showing you off to the world proud. 
He trusts you to handle whatever battle you’re in. And he knows you’ll hold up your part of the deal. You’ve never let him down before. 
He keeps you close though. He takes a post-battle nap with you, intertwined with your body. 
He feels safe with you next to him like that. He swears your body has magical healing properties, because he always wakes up 200% better after sleeping next to you (you feel better too, though you can’t explain why).
He keeps you next to him through the feast and the party, and he examines your new cuts, bruises, and scars. He only admires them, which helps you feel a little less insecure about them. 
Sometimes you all have matching cuts or bruises, to which Luffy celebrates with another round of booze and another plate of meat. 
Zoro
Zoro is also insanely proud of you. 
He never doubted you, but he knew it would be a hard battle. It was for everyone. But of course you got it finished. You were a person of your word and you would do what you said. 
He tries to be casual about it. He won’t admit that he was a little worried about how you would end up, but he’s so relieved to find you mostly okay. 
He doesn’t admit how his pace quickened when he saw you crumpled on the ground. How just for a moment, he found himself considering a quick prayer to some random god to make sure you were okay. 
But you were just tired. And he knows how to fix that. He gently picks you up and carries you back to safety. 
He lets you sleep while he runs his fingers through your hair and across your skin, so so thankful that all you need is a little nap to be okay. 
And to be honest, he could use a nap too. He’ll blame you for needing a nap, but he always sleeps easier with you around, especially after a battle.
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butterfluffy · 9 months
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strawhats + d. mihawk with a healer!s/o
⠀⠀ੈ♡˳· what would it be like being a healer, and an s/o to these people?
⠀⠀➧ unlabeled | strawhats, d. mihawk (separate)  x gn!reader | multi-character headcanons
⠀⠀➧ warnings — idk, none, ig? mistakes may be present tho.. so do ignore them, thanks.
⠀⠀➧ requests are closed, sorryyyyy..!
⠀⠀꒰ 🍨 ꒱ notes: finally writing to clear out my inbox aAaaaAahhHhhHHHHh
req by @n0body-1mportant
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MONKEY D. LUFFY
This trouble maker captain right here is always injured lol
So that said, you always go on healing your big, trouble maker baby
Wild card : Though he can take punches, kicks, and even stabs without screaming in pain—Luffy starts whining like a poor puppy everytime he comes to ask you to patch him up.
“Y/n...! Look, look, I'm heavily injured! I'm reaallyy hurt! Won't you heal me!? And, and! Won't you give me a kiss, too, for doing a great job in beating that bastard's ass!?”
RORONOA ZORO
Same as his captain, the first mate is always injured—due to fights, his harsh training, and other causes
..Despite always being injured, Zoro hates getting himself patched up. But if you're the one doing the healing so he could get better, it's all good for him!
Wild card : Zoro doesn't care if he's greatly bleeding out during a fight—but outside a fight, if he got the smallest cut, Zoro immediately dashes to you to get himself healed up..!
“Hey, so, I was peeling myself apples a while ago using that ero-cook's damned knife—now I got this cut. Heal it now, and eat these with me, yeah?”
NAMI
Nami very much hates getting herself injured, especially getting scars
So Nami is quick to rush to you to get her injury fixed
Wild card : this happens quite rarely, since as said above, she hates getting scars—but, nami sometimes get herself injured on 'places' to see you flushed when she asks you to heal it~
“Babyyy..! Look, look! Look at my perfectly beautiful legs here! They've got a scar! Their beauty has been tarnished, so, please.. Take care of them, yeah~?”
USOPP
Usopp avoids getting himself injured at all cost.
And when he does get injured, he screeches as he dash towards you with tears on his eyes, asking you to heal his injury ASAP.
Wild card : I have this headcanon for Usopp where he's a real clutz, so he always has an injury here and there, and wounds that he doesn't know where it came from.
“Y-Y/n..! W..When I woke up, I saw this new wound on my arm..! I..I don't know where it came from—it's probably from the spirits that I've angered, waaahh!!”
(it was caused by Luffy. He was dreaming that Usopp was a piece of meat, and bit him during their sleep. 💀)
VINSMOKE SANJI
As the left hand man of the ship's captain, Sanji is always out on a fight to support his captain, so injuries are unavoidable.
He's developed durability to the beating up he receives and shows it off his coolness to you, BUT AFTER THE FIGHT, he whines.
Wild card : This perv right here always has a nosebleed everytime you go patch up his beaten up ass, causing you more trouble.
“My loveee..! I'm injured, I'm badly hurt..! Everything's so painful, so please, heal me with your magic kiss—*you kiss him* *he nosebleeds*”
NICO ROBIN
Robin isn't a big fan of getting injuries during combat, or whenever.
Though despite being injured, she handles it like a Queen! (You don't.)
Wild card : As said above she handles her injuries like the Queen she is, BUT, you don't—you're more panicked when she's injured as she stays calm while telling you some morbid jokes.
“Darling.. Please calm down. I'm not going to die, you know? All I got is this small scratch the size of a severed finger, so, don't worry about me too much, okay?”
FRANKY
SUPEEEERRRRR Franky right here who's a barely gets himself injured.
↑ Why? Because, he's a cyborg, a cool one who will barely get a scratch..!
Wild card : ...When Franky does get injured for some reason being during a fight or where else, he starts crying like a small child to you as he asks you to heal him...!
“Waaahh! This damned injury hurts so bad..! It's SUPEEEERRRR painful, I'm gonna cry! Y/n, Y/n, quick, quickly, heal me and ease my pain..!!”
DRACULE MIHAWK
The greatest swordsman? Injured?? Pfft, not a chance.
Though when he's going against strong fellas, he gets some scratches here and there, which he deals with by himself—not wanting to bother you.
Wild card : Mihawk doesn't show it, but, he loves, and finds it cute when you insist on helping him with his injury that he already had managed, or can obviously handle fixing by himself.
“My dear... I already fixed my injury, so don't worry about it. But.. If you really insist on using your ability to speed up the healing process.. Alright. I'll let you.”
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© butterfluffy 2023
⠀⠀ʚїɞ · likes, comments, reblogs, and/or feedbacks are highly appreciated!
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senseichaos · 1 month
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long time listener, first time caller
saw the piss thing and… do you do pissing inside? alastor cockwarming on the radio show, having to let out some tension, not wanting to get up and move to do it… maybe even lucifer on his thrown… just a thought 🫣
this is so good! Thank you for the req!
IMAGINE
(ik I use this gif all the time.. leave me alone)
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PISS WARNING ⚠️
Sometimes when Alastor does his radio show, having you nestled on his cock is the best to get out his most confident work. And he loves the way you squirm. He'd always end up having to use his tentacles or some sort of magic restraint to refrain you from moving.
This time around however, he had forgotten to do one of the most important things before sitting you on his cock.
Go to the toilet.
It wasn't a big deal, really. He could probably hold it, and he didn't need to go that badly. However as he was talking about some recent news in hell, an idea popped into his tar black mind.
"And we have some acid rain scheduled for this afternoon! Make sure you get inside, or the cannibals will eat your body after it's rotted in the rain. Or I may eat you myself! I have been hankering for some sinner meat recently.." Alastor says, reciting the last thing on his news list for the broadcast.
"Any how, let's get some music playing shall we?" Alastor says the name and creator of the song before tuning his voice out, turning off his mic so he can organize the next part of his script.
Yet as he moves, he can't help but feel his bladder clench.
"Ngh.. Alastor, how much longer..?" You ask with a pathetic whimper, trying to wiggle your hips. Alastor's tentacles tighten around your thighs as this, ensuring you won't try to shift again.
Chuckling, Alastor smooths your hair back, giving you a dark look that causes goosebumps across your bare skin.
"Hm, well I do have to urinate..." He says, looking off into the distance in a sort of thoughtful way. Your face brightens, thinking he may end his show early and go to the bathroom... Then he'd fuck you silly, just how you like it.
"Really? Well then end the show!" You say, tugging on his coat. Though Alastor captures your wrists, placing them onto his shoulders.
"Now now, that wasn't what I was implying at all, fawn,"
Your eyes widen.
"Huh?"
"Stay still for me, hm?"
He presses his hands to your hips, pushing them down so your body's are completely connected at his cock. You shriek to yourself, realizing what he's about to do. Now you weren't going to object, no no, in your own way you were more excited than anything.
"Ah!"
Before you know it, with a sadistic gaze Alastor begins releasing his piss into your hole. You cry out, clasping your hands over your mouth as you lean back against the end of his desk. You can feel it all, warm and hot as it fills you to the brim. It tickles you in ways you can hardly imagine, making you see a myriad of twinkling stars as the liquid starts to seep from your full cunt.
And it just keeps coming, his cock twitching inside of you as it releases its last few spurts of urine into you. Alastor's pants are warm and soaked with his piss, but he doesn't make a move to take you off of his cock. Instead he just keeps you there, continuing his radio show whilst pretending that nothing happened at all.
"Alastor," you begin as he puts on another song. He hums in response. "You're all soaked.." You whine, pressing your hands to his soft and slimy tentacles.
He chuckles, pinching your cheek and watching you flinch. "Just how I like it, dirty. Now hush or I won't fornicate this full cunt with my seed, hm?"
You obey without a thought.
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suugarbabe · 7 months
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magical creatures | m.r. x reader
prompt: may i suggest hufflepuff!reader, or just shy reader who often hangs around by herself or at hagrids hut helping w the magical creatures. yknow the type of person who no one notices is in class cuz she’s so quiet and he’s like,, enamored lowkey bc she’s so gorgiana but so shy. maybe draco calling her a mudblood and matty’s like abt to get in a fight w his own cousin bc of it.
word count: ~2.1k
warning: fluff
an: the end is a little shite, but the rest is good so bare with me.
It was both a blessing and a curse to see thestrals. They were very unique magical creatures in that only those who have seen death can see them. It makes sense, given their appearance. The black skin, the skeletal body, the reptilian face and the wide leather wings. To the unknowing wizard, the animal looked like it came straight from muggle hell. Historically, it was an omen of misfortune to see one, but they were protected on school grounds and oddly enough, they gave you comfort. 
You often found yourself out in this part of the forest after you had a particularly hard day. Hagrid was always kind enough to give you some raw meat to feed them, and this was the first day you could see the new foal since she was born. You tossed a portion of meat its way, the foal slowly coming up to sniff it. Once it had a taste, it came up to you, sniffing your bag and begging for more. 
You laughed at its enthusiasm, gently petting its neck, “You’re just trying to find your way, aren’tcha bub. That’s okay, me too. This world is hard, but you’ve got your mummy here, she’ll protect you.”
A snapping of twigs made you freeze. No one came to this part of the woods, no one but you and Hagrid, and he was going to be gone for another few hours. You stood up slowly, taking your wand from your jacket pocket. 
You held it tight to your side, trying your best to make your voice sound intimidating, “W-who’s there?”
A boy slowly crept out from behind a tree, his hands up in a surrendering position, “Don’t stupify me, please. I didn’t mean to startle you.” 
Your grip on your wand loosened slightly, but to say you were confused was an understatement, “Riddle? What’re you doing out here?” 
“Could ask you the same thing. What’s a badger like you doing out in the forest?” He wore his infamous smirk, and you weren’t sure if he was trying to be charming, or getting ready to bully you. The lot he hung around, was the leader of more like, made it tough to decipher his motives at times. 
“I was just…feeding the new foal,” you gestured towards the creatures behind you. 
He looked at you curiously, “You can see them, too?” 
You stood up a little straighter, “Yes, Mattheo. I can see them. Slytherin’s aren’t the only ones who can come from a tragic past.” 
Mattheo chuckled at this, “Okay, fair point.”
You looked at him curiously, “What're you doing out here?” 
He smiled sheepishly now, “I was watching you.” You raised your eyebrows at this.
“Not in a creepy way!” He tried to assure you, hands straight out in front of him. “I just, I’ve been noticing you.”
“You’ve been noticing me?” 
“Yeah, I mean. You’re…nice to look at. And you’re…cute when you’re with animals.” His cheeks tinted pink at the confession. 
You couldn’t help the blush that crept up your neck, definitely not expecting that from him. You offered him something to feed the foal and he quickly accepted. You watched at he knelt down to the ground, hand extended as the foal slowly walked up to him. 
He spoke in a hushed tone, “S’alright, mate, I won’t bite.” You smiled at the scene before you, rough and tough Mattheo Riddle being soft and gentle. He stayed with you in the forest for another hour or so, both of you getting lost in conversation. 
He had offered to walk you back to the castle, but you insisted on needing to stop by Hagrid’s before dinner, encouraging him to go on without you. 
After that first encounter in the forest, you expected yours and Mattheo’s relationship to go back to the way it was, which was nonexistent. But the next day, when he saw you in the hall’s he ran up to you, quickly falling into step to ask you how your day was going and if you planned on “feeding any strange animals after classes”. He started doing that often, finding you in the hall or after class, asking when you were going to visit some magical creature and asking if he could tag along.
He found himself fond of how soft you were with them, no matter how rough the creature seemed. He would tell you about the grindylows he could see from his dorm window, and the way your eyes lit up made him wish he could take you there and show you himself, just to see your smile take up your whole face again. 
He had made a vow to himself to never subject you to the ridicule you would get if he brought you to the Slytherin dorm. Not because you were a hufflepuff, but because of your blood status. 
As a half-blood he knows that most Slytherins would look at you like a roast to feast on and their utensils would be harsh words and hexes. Over the last several weeks he found himself growing protective over you. 
Around you he didn’t have to put on a mean face, didn’t have to act tough, he could let his guard down. The Mattheo you knew was not the Mattheo that everyone else saw. Where others saw brooding and flying fists, you saw gentle touches and whispers. 
You never expected you would ever call Mattheo a friend, but it seemed that’s what he became. Where you were once invisible in classes, you found Mattheo staring at you. When you were always able to slip past your peers in the corridor, his hands always found you, pulling you to his side. 
You weren’t naive, you knew the looks you were getting, but with Mattheo near you, you just couldn’t find it in yourself to care. At least that’s how you thought you felt, until you found yourself being dragged by said boy to the Slytherin table for lunch one afternoon. 
“Mattheo, no, there’s no way,” you really thought he had lost his mind. 
“Oh c’mon, darling, it’ll be fine. We’ll sit at the end or something. I just wanna have lunch with you, pretty pretty please?” He was batting his eyelashes at you. His stupid, dumb, long and beautiful eyelashes and looking at you with the most pleading amber eyes. 
You huffed out a long sigh and Mattheo cheered silently in victory, slinging his arm over your shoulder and leading you to the table. 
You sat down across from him, listening to him ramble about his latest potions assignment as you filled your plate. The longer he talked and joked the more relaxed you felt. It seemed like it was not going to be as bad as you had made it out to be, until a head of bleach blonde came into view. 
“Ya lost, badger?” Pansy Parkinson thought she was clever, but in reality she was just the same as a lap dog, following Draco around like a pathetic lovesick puppy. 
You shook your head no, looking down at your plate. “Fuck off, Parkinson,” Mattheo’s harsh words head your head snapping up to watch the scene that was unfolding in front of you. 
Draco tsked, “Oh cousin, ran through the lot of Slytherin women already? Needed to find yourself a little mudblood to entertain you?”
Mattheo was up so quickly it seemed like your eyes had glitched. The smirk was immediately gone from Draco’s face as Mattheo gripped the collar of his robes, teeth gritted as he spoke to him, “Don’t use that bloody fucking language around her, you understand me?” 
If looks could kill Draco’s funeral would’ve been yesterday. He seemed to understand how serious Mattheo was because the most he answered was a grumbled ‘yes’ before brushing his robes off and walking away, not even sparing you a second glance. 
When Mattheo turned back to you his eyes were full of remorse. You spoke before he got a chance, “S’okay, Teo. Let’s just go. We can feed the thestrals before curfew if we leave now.”
You started towards the doors, Mattheo quick to fall in step beside you. When you reached the top of the hill you stopped. Mattheo looked at you quizzically, “Y’alright, love?” You nodded your head, giving him the biggest grin before taking off running toward the forest. 
Mattheo stood frozen for a moment, in shock of how cheeky you were being before his brain caught up with him and he darted after you. 
“You know I’m captain of the quidditch team, love!” he shouted towards you. You shouted back over your shoulder, “Yeah, well you seem to be struggling without your broom, sir!” 
This bit of banter seemed to spur Mattheo further, his feet seemingly moving faster and getting closer and closer to you. You could sense him getting closer, and you could help the butterfly feeling that started to build in your chest. 
You reached your familiar spot, bracing yourself on a tree when you felt hand grab your waist and turn you to face him. “You cheated,” he was breathing heavy, but his tone was still playful. 
“I thought Slytherin’s were cunning, guess I was wrong,” you shrugged your shoulders, biting your bottom lip gently. 
He reached up, cupping your cheek. The pad of his thumb tracing your lower lip, dragging it down slightly. Your breath hitched slightly, watching as his eyes flicked from your lips meeting your eyes again. 
You stared into his eyes, wondering if what you think is going to happen is about to actually happen. 
“Can I…” he questions, trailing off tilting your chin up. You nod slightly, then his lips capture yours. It was tentative at first, like he was afraid if he kissed you any harder you’d disappear like a dream. 
He pulls back, breathing slightly heavy, giving you a silent look as if to ask, ‘is this okay?’ You press your lips back to his as an answer, with more passion this time. It’s wet and messy, tongues dancing as his hands caress the soft curves of your body, pressing you harder into the tree.
He bites down on your bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth causing a whimper to leave your throat. You pull him back by his hair and he lets out a desperate huff. You start to kiss down his neck, finding his pulse point and sucking a fresh hickey to his otherwise flawless tan skin. 
You lean back, a smirk spreading on your face as you admire your work. “Proud of yourself, love?” Mattheo’s voice vibrates against your skin, his nose nudging playfully along your jawline. You nodded your head, “Very proud.” 
He was looking at you now, hands resting on your hips, but still pressing you into the tree slightly. His face had fallen ever so slightly, looking a little sadder than the moment called for. 
“I’m sorry for Draco earlier,” his tone was pained, like he was hurting just thinking about the earlier interaction. 
“S’okay, Teo. It’s not the first time someone’s said that to me. Honestly I don’t even think that’s the first time Draco has said it to me,” you laughed a little, but Mattheo could see it didn’t reach your eyes. 
He cupped your face again, thumb rubbing soothingly on your cheek, “He’s never going to call you that again, I’ll make sure of it. He should’ve never said that to you in the first place, or ever.”
You grabbed Mattheo’s face, holding it in your hands and making him keep eye contact with you, “Thank you for being so protective of me. It really does make me feel safer.” His cheeks were straining against your hands as he smiled. 
“Please, please understand that as long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter what other people say. Even your cousin, okay? And if he is ever ever mean to me again, which I think is likely. You have my full permission to transfigure him into a ferret again.” 
Mattheo laughed at this, a full hearty, deep laugh and you wanted to hear that laugh all the time. Wanted to bottle his joy and happiness and release it on your toughest days to bring you cheer. 
Mattheo followed you back to Hagrid’s hut, getting the supplies you needed to feed the thestrals. You watched as he played with the foal. He looked as carefree as you’d ever seen him as you wished he could feel this way every day. The way he looked back over his shoulder, child-like grin adorning his face, you knew you wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else.
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colourstreakgryffin · 1 month
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Hello!
I love your writing, so I wanted to request one where Alastor finds out that the reader is pregnant (it can be romantic I.e it’s his child, or it can be platonic, I.e the reader is his close friend.) I just thought it would be a cool idea!
For real… why do one when I can do both! Demisexual romantic Alastor in the buildinnggg~! Let’s see how Al handles this!
Alastor- Fresh Meat
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Platonic
Well… this is very awkward. Alastor finding out that you’re pregnant
Alastor will buy you cute presents for your baby: clothing, toys, a pram. Anything he can, he may be uncomfortable by the fact you’re carrying a baby but he’d be a moron to just not help you
Alastor wonders what name you and your partner will give the baby and he gives you ideas whenever you two hang out
Alastor refuses to let you move too much. First week or the last month, he’ll get something like a trolley or a carriage to push you in so you can relax and not stress your body out
Alastor will fold into your food cravings. If you want Jambalaya, he’ll cook it whilst you’re over. Anything he can do to make you more comfortable, he actually cares about it and your baby’s comfort— he totally doesn’t just care for you to shut about wanting potato salad
Alastor lets you stay with him when you have an irrational moment with your partner and need somebody to vent to. He is right there and he’ll be your rock, he is your bestie after all
Alastor congratulations you and your partner for the baby and he gives you three presents regularly. Just like before you gave birth, he is doing it again and it’s his rewards for the baby coming out. He is happy for you!
Yes, Alastor attended the Gender Reveal party you and your partner threw and was basically the first person there and the last person to leave, and he was the one keeping everybody under control. Thankfully, Angel Dust didn’t shoot the fireworks that could have blown up the house or set the house on fire. He is protective over you, your partner and your upcoming baby
Alastor wants to meet the baby. Please, let him visit you first and don’t invite anybody else. Let him come over and meet the baby, he needs to. He wants to hold them and see what you have pushed out
Romantic
Alastor banged you one time… and now, you’re carrying his baby?! As much as he is so shocked and amazed by it, he is actually quite afraid of it and isn’t exactly ready to be a father
Alastor can’t stop himself from also folding into the fact he has a baby in your oven and he’ll just lay his head on your growing baby bump and kiss it, feeling the kicks of the embryo and just holding your swollen stomach with his heart swelling with pride
Alastor is guarding you so damn fiercely. You’re not going anywhere alone, no matter what stage of your pregnancy you’re in, you require proper protection and he will make sure you don’t even go down the street without him right next to you
Alastor loves cooking for you and he refuses to let anybody else feed you. He knows what you like and basically all of his food can actually go down with you. It’s wonderful
Alastor is already envisioning the baby boy or baby girl you’ll push out eventually. Will they have his deer features? Will they use voodoo when they grow up? He is so curious and when he sees the ultrasound pictures, he dies a second time
Alastor basically acts like your eager little servant. He’ll rub your shoulders if your back is sore, he’ll carry you around if you’re tired, he’ll bend over backwards to make sure you’re happy. The second you want to cry, he’ll kiss and cuddle you to calm you down
Alastor is quite good at handling your irrational and emotional states. He’ll just rock his baby mama and his baby until they fall asleep after either are having or about to have or had a temper tantrum, and like that. His loves are knocked out like a light
Alastor is freaked out when he sees you using Voodoo magic… it must be the baby! He is so amazed and he just watches it everytime you summon a black tentacle to pick up a water bottle left on the counter
Alastor is a man of control and controls himself very well… but the moment he is allowed into your hospital room and is given your and his baby by the Nurse, freshly after you have given birth to him/her. He cries. The Radio Demon openly cries and he cries with so much pride and joy at how cute the baby boy/baby girl is!
Alastor cannot put the baby down when he has him/her in his arms. He loves him/her so much and he loves you so much. He may have been afraid to be a dad and he is still afraid to be a dad but he can’t reject the life he and you produced and he is so in love with him/her already…
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easy-there-leftovers · 6 months
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I See You, Darling (3)
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[Astarion x reader] As I mentioned in a previous post, this came along surprisingly easier than the last one. The same can’t be said about the quality though maybe– sorry for that. :,DDD|Word count: 2.6k.| 
Content Warnings: Mentions of cooking, handling knives, blood, one sex joke (lol), the normal warnings that you’d associate with the game
Part 2 here!!
Next Part here!!
As an outsider to most of everyone’s problems, you find your place by helping in whatever way you can. Even if that may be at the expense of your own comfort, but at least it’s been fun so far.
Alternatively: Reader can't catch a break from anything, can they?
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Being resident camp caretaker was surprising, for lack of a better term. You were away from the stresses of technology, corporate assholes, and disappointing family with your choice to pursue unpractical careers. Instead living the “cottagecore lifestyle” of foraging for food and cooking with a cauldron that those from the digital world claimed to be the best. What they failed to mention were the incessant pests coming in to nibble through rucksacks if you were not careful, and the occasional swarms of ants or flies coming in to nip at your flesh.
The experience was a mixed bag, so it would seem. But the tired smiles that the group would give you when you greet them with a warm and filling meal was always a comfort that you would have.
And it would seem they needed it now more especially than ever.
Your band of misfits planned to venture out and defeat the goblins at their camp in order to aid the tieflings’ journey to Baulder’s Gate. Per your instruction, you convinced the more solipsistic members of the benefits of eradicating the sect. Namely, they wouldn’t hinder you as much in the future if they were taken care of. Hence your plan to slightly increase the amount of portions for supper tonight.
By twilight, you had a good broth steeping in your cauldron. The camp having returned just a few moments prior from an earlier excursion. You were making a pottage that the others have expressed their enjoyment for. A stew of sorts that you had made when you had quite the number of items that would have spoiled before consumption had you not done anything about it. A mixture of fruits and meat, stewed in a consomme of a pig’s head and various mushroom caps. 
This time around, you’ll be using fresher ingredients to hopefully lift their spirits.
As you’re chopping up fruits, you think about all that’s happened to you and possible explanations for why your character suddenly ceased to exist in order to make room for you.  What’s more is that no matter how many nights pass, you never end up waking from your dream. Which you fear is lasting longer than your usual ones.
Your working theory is that whatever force, be it magic or fate, tethering you to this world is also responsible for removing Tav. Astarion claimed that he couldn’t remember the finer details when you had confronted  him. And so you settled with that hypothesis. That like how a thread that unravels opens a seam in a garment, a new thread must be used to darn the cloth together again.
You laugh at the disgustingly poetic analogy you created in your head. You fear that you’re becoming more and more deranged as—
“My, aren’t you busy?” The intrusive voice causes the knife to slip out of your hand a bit, thankfully only cutting off a portion of your index finger’s nail. Your shoulders, that were raised in alarm, release their tension after feeling the sudden chill leave your body.
“Astarion,”  Exasperated, you put the knife down on the cutting board to catch your breath for a while. 
“I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped sneaking up on me when I’m doing something dangerous.”
The high-elf offers a mischievous smile in response. “Very sorry, pet. But it’s hardly my fault when you’ve barely been paying attention to me.” There’s regret in his words, but not in his tone.
Because while perhaps it’s an odd interest, he enjoys hearing the quickened pace of your heart. The pulse getting louder, as it stays that way for longer.
“I’d feel sorry for doing so if you were too, but you’re not.”
You laugh out, breath still shaky but steadying slowly, as you pick up your knife again.
 “I heard you’re part of the encampment that’s finishing off the goblins by midmorn.” Chopping the rest of the fruits, you feel his presence move from behind you to off to your side so you can see him from your peripherals.
“Hm? Yes. Although I would have preferred if we didn’t do this at all. It’s too much work, and the goblins could be entertaining! Killing useful spoils seems like an awful waste.” 
This must be the reason why he approached you, to persuade you to call off the hunt. And his unfading smile supports that thought. When you voice said thought, it earns you a playful scoff.
“Don’t you have anything else on your mind other than the parasite lounging in it?”
The mood is light as you say this, the banter welcomed by you both. 
And as you continue to converse, a few eyes begin to follow the two of you. They’ve never really seen Astarion interact with you for this long, at least not away from your private spaces. And even less without hushed voices. The interlocution is definitely a welcome spectacle to them. 
“On my honor, the only thing on my mind is depraved, carnal lust.” He says, proudly. Gesturing to himself with one hand, and the other held high like he was swearing an oath. 
Your closed mouth drops into frown, eyes wide, and your eyebrows skew upwards. A very undignified, but small, squeak coming from the back of your throat. You swore you heard someone groan in disappointment from far away too.
You know full well that the look of shock that you were sporting was by no means attractive, but the flagrant revelation, though not at all out of character, was shocking to have directed towards you. You’ve been trying to romance the elven vampire with your character, only to end up nowhere. Therefore you are completely unsure if the dialogue he was spewing was completely a figment of your imagination, or is, indeed, canon.
The elf in question has seen this expression of yours before. Quite often, too. And while he doesn’t think it a, “pleasant sight,” it is rather… charming to him. 
Whether it be on purpose or not, people have the tendency to be on guard around him, preserving any twitch and sound that could give them away to themselves. Not that much had ever evaded him before with his naturally cunning behavior. But this clearly unscripted response, with the blatant confusion swimming in your eyes, is a rather refreshing sight to see.
“I see–” you clear your throat to lower your voice back to its normal octave. “Well, I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities to uh, bring those thoughts into fruition! Uh–,” You slide the rest of the cut fruits off of your cutting board and into the stew. 
“Is there anything else you wanted to tell me? Something I should know?” You turn to face him. He laughs at first, but then his brows furrow in question, as if he did have something to say and forgot about it or thinks it is no longer an appropriate time to ask. He shakes his head and says something along the lines of, “letting you do all the hard work” and returns to his tent.
But you are not left alone for long as another member of your little ragtag team joins you to ask about dinner. To which you ask them for which meat would be better to toss into it. 
—————————
After dinner, your little rapport concerning the plan and new findings with everyone is adjourned. Some thanked you before they left, and others simply walked away. From what you have learned from them, the Archdruid that was taken prisoner by the goblins was named, “Halsin.” He was a topic of interest as they said he might be able to aid you in your search for moonrise and understanding the Mindflayer worms.
Wyll had also approached you alone after dinner and offhandedly mentioned a dead boar being on the road. He had planned to return to camp with it if it could have been useful, but he had claimed that the animal had been unnervingly light. As if half of its weight was no longer there despite seemingly just keeling over for no reason.
You take note of that in one of your many journals, including additional information about the Archdruid and their kind in general. The book appearing more and more like the game’s quest booklet, with the exception of a few crossouts and colored ink to emphasize each quest’s urgency and relevance to finding a cure. When you successfully rescue the druid of the grove, it seems you will have to move out quite soon after, so you fixed up your pack just a bit to make it easier later on.
You look around, everyone seems to be in their respective areas. Doing whatever it is they usually do  with the exception of Astarion. Though he has been known to either sneak off or hide away from time to time in his tent, so you think nothing of it.
You return to the communal chest, tallying up the remaining supplies and inspecting the wares. You sort the tradeable objects in one rucksack and appraise its worth. The chest also has pieces of gold, some that others have placed, and others you picked up and added. You prefer to let the others keep what they think is valuable to them, and only place what they want to share in the vessel. 
If the party’s gold ever runs out, you think that the rucksack is worth a few nights of food when you travel out again. Assured by this knowledge, you placed your writing materials back in, closed the chest, and turned in for the night.
Maybe this time, you’ll wake up. But you also don’t really want to. Not just yet. 
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As you slept, you wondered about the longevity of your knowledge of the media. You hadn’t finished the game, and although you’ve accomplished a fair bit of it, you worry about how you will face the events to come. One of the only reasons why you haven’t flinched so much at the terrors that occurred was because you had anticipated them. Braced yourself for the dangers ahead.
You fear what might happen when you no longer have that power at your disposal.
Perhaps it's the worry, perhaps it's the stiff, compact ground that you have yet to be accustomed to sleep on despite the bedroll, or perhaps it's the presence of something suddenly cool that stirs you awake. 
But what you did not expect was Astarion’s face hovering over yours to be the reason. Fangs bared, and ready to bite. Your eyes go wide and you let out a small gasp, hands moving up in a gesture akin to clawing at yourself. 
The elf realizes that you’re awake now and he curses. Moving away as you scramble upright just like you did all those nights ago. The look of genuine fear at the prospect of being bitten is apparent on your face, and he feels almost guilty to be greeted with it.
“Please, I wasn’t going to hurt you— I just needed, well, blood.” He says it in a panic. Worried that you might run off, losing his only sure chance, and possibly enraging the rest of the camp.
In this moment, you realized the error in your ways. Astarion had been hunting nearly every other night in the same area. And if you were progressing through the events like how the game did, he couldn’t have had the time nor energy to venture too far after feeding from most of the creatures in the vicinity.
‘The exsanguinated boar…’ You remember.
“You’ve been feeding on animals for the past few nights, haven’t you?”
“It seems like word got around then.” Although unknowingly, he’s referencing what Wyll delivered to you earlier in the night.
“I’m not some monster, I feed on boars, deer, kobolds– whatever I can get. I’m just too slow right now. And with the damned excursion,” He stops himself, complaining is only doing worse for his condition.
“It’s not enough. I feel so…weak. If I just had a little blood, I could think clearer. Fight better.” You’re conflicted. You had no problem offering yourself as your character for him to feed on, but even witnessing that through a disconnected screen was enough to make you feel uncomfortable imagining it. You care about him, want to give him what he deserves, but this…
What’s more is that you know what he’s saying is necessary, not at all overstating how dire his need to satiate his hunger is, making it all the more difficult.
He needs to convince you, if he wants to continue on, that is. Without the presence of the illithid, he resorts to more practical means of doing so. Similar to what he did to many.
Noticing the slight tremor of your hands, he takes the chance to slowly kneel down on your bedroll. Closing the distance between you. He takes your hand, now rougher from the work you do, and meets your shaken gaze with his dark eyes.
“Please. I only need a taste, I swear.” He had meant to tell you before dinner, had he not felt the eyes of the others on the two of you. This discovery is not lost on you. He needs you specifically. And you realize it's out of convenience because you’re an expendable resource. If you pass, the group can venture on, but he also still needs you alive for whatever reason. He can’t have the others finding out, not until they trust him. 
He needs you to trust him. And this is the only way you can help him in this moment.
With that, you strengthen your resolve. 
“I…I trust you, Astarion. But no more than what you need.” A dangerous bet, but you hope it would be worth it.
“Really? I–”
 “Can I trust you on that?” The shock on his face fades, and he agrees.
“Let’s make ourselves comfortable, shall we?” You lay down, preparing yourself to faint during the process and allowing your blood to flow throughout your body. He observes the rapid movement of your eyes as he drapes himself above you. Your sight flitting from anywhere but him and then returning all the same. No doubt that you fear being at his mercy.
He feels almost sorry that you have to do this for him.
So he graces you with what mercy he can give.
The bite is quick. You would have felt the flesh of your neck parting for him, had he not done so. You feel tears prick at your eyes and start to feel the area from your neck and upwards go cold.
A momentary, sharp pain, that lulls to a chilling numbness in what seems like a matter of seconds.
You feel his body start to grow warmer at your expense and you feel satisfied knowing that you could help him.
When he doesn't stop, you start to worry.
Your breath catches in staccato beats, pulse quickening in tandem. You try to stop him, hands coming up to push or tug, but the heavy sensation that washes over you only permits them to find purchase on his form.
You try to speak, but it seems as if the common tongue does not reach him.
Your mind goes into overdrive, all of a sudden it doesn’t feel like a dream anymore and genuine fear courses through your veins.
You need him to stop, and you try to think of more efficient ways of doing so.
But your mind starts slowing as well. The pain has certainly faded, but the presence of the vampire at your throat reminds you in case you’ve forgotten.
As a last ditch effort, you try to use whatever might appeal to him, to break him out of the trance that he was in from finally replenishing himself. 
“Isalhal–” One of the few Elvish words you recalled.
The effort thankfully makes him pull back in shock, stopping him. Your eyes finally close, thankful for the reprieve you're finally granted. You hear a distant, “thank you,” and a more distant “shit” before rest takes over.
You worry about waking up tomorrow.
But for now, you’re thankful that Astarion will be able to fight well.
For himself and for everyone else’s sake.
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Thank you to @rey26, @shyminnie07, @lynnloveshobi, @iggee-rose, @automnepoet, @tiannamortis, @aoirohi, @sarkara211, @jane-3043, @h3110-dar1in9, @h3ll0k1ttyl0ver333, @mimziethealien, @squichymochi, @sharabay, @furblrwurblr, @dork-of-the-universe, @thedevilssinner, @fuckalrighty, @queenofthespacesquids, @perseny, @goldenplutus, @h4nluv, @awkward-d3rs3-dr3amer, and @auszimbo for asking to be tagged!!
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🌦Confessions gone wrong...
Genshin men and how they fuck up their confessions to you.
Ft. Bennett, Venti, Xingqiu, Xiao, Itto, and Wanderer
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Tags: Fem!Reader, Long-Hair!Reader(Xingqiu), crushes, pining, fluff, pg, bad things happen to good people. Note: This thread is mostly humor. I just really wanted to bully some characters. No beta. Pay no mind to me trying to edit my mistakes after this has been posted. (Repost!)
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Bennett 
Fatal Flaw: Honestly does nothing wrong, is just an unlucky dude.
There’s too many instances to count. The poor boy has really been trying to tell you his feelings for MONTHS.
In his excitement he wanted to be flashy and ask you out somewhere cool, like by the big tree in Windrise. The weather thankfully allowed it, but right as he was about to take your hand and confess, a swarm of crystal flies began swarming him. You didn’t know they could be so aggressive.
A restaurant! He could treat you to a meal and tell you there! When the two of you arrived at Good Hunter, it was unfortunately closed early for the day. Apparently all of the meat had suddenly gone bad…
You get the gist.... he’s been in this constant confession limbo for a while now. The more he wants it the worse it goes.
Bennett finally decided he didn’t need the bells and whistles. He cared about you a lot and he was going to confess to you if it was the last thing he did. And it damn well might be. With a new found determination, he ran out to do just that.
“Y/N!” Bennett called out when he spotted you by the Adventure’s Guild. He rushed to you, paying special attention to every stair step to keep from tripping. You turned around and smiled too sweetly when you caught sight of him. It made the boy’s heart thump in his chest. Were it not for his sudden tunnel vision, he may have noticed that cat running past him and not trip down the remaining flight of stairs. 
The next time he opened his eyes, he found himself being carried up the familiar route to the cathedral. The adventurer’s face flushed bright red when he realized you were the one carrying him piggyback. It was embarrassing..... but it shamefully wasn’t the first time. Bennett sighed in defeat and simply leaned into your back. When felt his shift in weight, you glanced back to smile at him. You giggled at his clumsiness and it was like music to the boy’s ears. You told him how glad you were that he already regained consciousness this time.  
The two of you began joke around like usual and talked the rest of the way there. Bennett took the small victories.
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Venti
Fatal Flaw: Tries to impress you too hard.
He knew exactly where he was going to sing his love ballad about you. The sound of the wind as it blew off the hills of starsnatch cliff would be the perfect accompaniment. Maybe it would need some encouragement, but it was nothing he couldn’t accomplish.
Venti wanted the wine to be just right for the occasion too. You deserved nothing but the best. And how else would he be able to judge the quality.... if not just a teeny tiny taste test? He had to be thorough about this choice after all.
The bard usually had enough self control to limit himself to a glass or two, but he felt his nerves get to him a tad. Venti had the confidence that he could show you a beautiful night, but in the end it was your choice whether to accept his heartfelt gesture. The archon respected your freedom above all else. 
They sure don’t call it liquid courage for nothing! Venti was brimming with confidence when he brought you to a picnic under a tree, overlooking the cecilias in full bloom. You were visibly in awe, and your reactions quickly inflated the bard’s ego to dangerous heights. “If you think that’s beautiful, watch this.”
A gust of wind flowed over the field, sweeping up all the fallen petals to dance in the air. It was unreal, magical, magnificent, splendid, it was…… buzzing? A thud fell between the two of you and effectively ended the romantic moment. It was a wasps nest.
“ABANDON SHIP!” Venti cried out, grabbing your hand and booking it downhill. 
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Xingqiu
Fatal Flaw: Hubris.
He really doesn’t like to toot his own horn. Maybe once in a while when it’s warranted. But he really out did himself. Xingqiu read plenty of books regarding the art of courting, and they guided the way to what was sure to be the most romantic confession possible. 
The brilliance was in the simplicity of the plan. First he would begin with a gift. The two of you always met at the book store on your off-days. When he sees you wear your long hair in your usual up-do, he would offer the beautiful hair ornament he acquired. Maybe in your excitement, you would even allow him to affix it for you.
The boy’s stomach dropped when he saw you enter the bookstore. He stared while you looked around for him, turning your head left and right in an adorable manner. The movement accentuated your newest feature... a hair cut. “Y/N, over here.” Xingqiu called to you, his confidence was already wavering a little. You excitedly walked to meet up with him and offered a big grin.
Well all is not lost! This leads into his next step; Flattery! “Dear Y/N, you cut your hair. It looks-” “Ugh, don’t remind me.” You quickly cut him off, mood souring just a tad. You explain the tragic story of how you stupidly got a chunk of your hair caught in a lever. The only solution was to cut it clean off, the dramatic change was definitely still a sore topic. 
Now the boy was breaking a sweat. He changed to a new tactic, to cheer you up. Xingqiu dropped the subject and prompted that you both look at the newest releases. It would help to take your mind off things and he was banking on the last step of his plan to pan out. It was his last hope. 
The two of you settled on the docks and were eager to discuss the books you had just picked. Xingqiu had hidden a love poem into the latest book from your favorite author. He knew you couldn’t resist picking it up, so he stealthily slipped the note into the book you held. Xingqiu spend all night pouring his heart out just right onto the page, as if trying to convey every reason he should be by your side. He expressed his desperate want to be the one to protect and cherish you. Watching you now, talking about your day, left his brain dazed in admiration. It made him realize that all those little things before didn’t matter, as long as you knew how much he adored you in the end.
Finally, you pulled out your newest book to show Xingqiu. The distressed boy nearly fell off the dock. “T-the cover-” He stammered, quickly righting himself. You looked back at him concerned, and slowly explained that it was a limited edition cover. It was only available for the first hundred copies sold. When you saw there was still some in stock, you just had to snag one. 
Why do novels make romance it sound so easy....
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Xiao
Fatal Flaw: One track mind.
Xiao had been hyping himself up for this one moment for weeks! He nearly talks himself out of confessing every other minute. You may not even reciprocate, but for his sanity he couldn’t keep hiding how deeply he cares for you. The whole situation was so uncertain but the hammering in his chest was proof that he had to do this.
Its like a band-aid he just had to rip it off. To get it over with. Xiao had no idea how to approach it and resorted to redeeming a favor owed to him. He needed to know what he was getting into and have a battle plan. When he approached Ganyu for advice he concealed most of the details. If she was any the wiser who he was asking romantic advice for, she was kind enough to not to mention it and let him keep his pride.
Xiao glanced down at the single glaze lily in his hand. The irony was not lost on him. It was almost humorous, an adeptus making an offering to a mortal and asking for their blessing.
It was almost the time and he prepared as if going into war. You greeted him and sat casually on the balcony railing of Wangshu Inn. Xiao wasted no time with pleasantries and held out the glaze lily to you. “Please accept this.” He stated. The flower was rigidly extended to the full length of his arm. The fiery determination on his face was  quite off-putting while offering such a delicate plant.
“Ah... I appreciate it Xiao, I really do, but I can’t.” You began to say, confusion steeping into your tone.
“I insist and I ask that you hear me out.” Xiao’s arm did moving an inch. It was the first thing Ganyu told him to do. He couldn’t abandon his path already. 
“What is going on Xiao? I really can’t accept-” You try to explain.
“Please.” His eyes were downcast and the yaksha’s tone was the closest thing to a plea that you’ve ever heard it. You were a tad bewildered and felt as though there was no use trying to talk him down right now. Left with no other choice, you reluctantly took the glaze lily in your hand. 
“Y/N I must tell you that I-” Thats as far as Xiao got before the coughing fit began. Your wracking coughs brought you to your knees. A wheeze is the only thing you could manage as you point to your bag. Xiao was alert and scrambling to make sense of what was happening. Your bag is brought to you in an instant and an arm wrapped around your waist to gently guide you to a chair. 
It took twenty minutes to fully get your breathing under control. You declined is offer to go grab you help. You just knew Xiao would disappear as soon as it arrived. It was a small allergy attack and nothing too threatening, but you could tell the boy next to you was profusely beating himself up for it.
You never did find out why he was so insistent on you taking that flower. What a strange guy. 
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Itto
Fatal Flaw: All of the above.
The whole situation was more or less doomed from the start. Once his oblivious ass realized he was in love with you, it was over. The oni was going to confess to you so hard that people were going to be talking about it for YEARS!
It was an all hands on deck operation. Itto gathered the whole gang and then some. He was able to recruit the neighborhood kids to gather as  many sakura pedals as they could carry. The boys were on staging duty, making sure the location was so romantic it could even make onikabuto stop fighting long enough fall in love. Itto even managed win a few fireworks off Yoimiya. (She brutally crushed him in a game of Genius Invokation TCG, and mercifully tossed a couple firecrackers his way as a consolation prize.) SCORE!
It was all coming together! All that was left was to distract you for just a little bit longer. That was a job so important that he could only entrust it to his competent second in command. Shinobu tried to convince Itto again and again that he didn’t need all this extra stuff. Pulling off something this complicated was only setting his expectations to an impossible height. Overall wouldn't it be better to be up front and earnest with you about how he felt? Her genuine, good advice promptly fell on deaf ears. Itto was far too busy trying to find which color would make his horns look even cooler in the light of all the fireflies they captured to release right when he said he loved you. Shinobu left this trainweck to to its thing and went to go find you. 
She usually would’ve press the subject more, but she did genuinely enjoy your company. The Arataki Gang Deputy considered you a good influence on the boss and anything that could keep him out of trouble, the better. 
At last, the time arrived to set all the gears into motion. Now Itto just had to wait for.... The realization hit him. He hadn't told you or Shinobu a time or place too meet today. 
The bumbling oni spent a great deal of the afternoon searching for you like a lost puppy. “Yo! Y/N! Hey Hi! I gotta talk to you!” Itto yelled out across the road.  He had finally managed to catch up to you two. The guy was ecstatic that things were looking up, plan was back on track! If he hurried now he could get you to the location the gang set up before sunset. 
Itto excitedly told you that you HAD to see something. You were always amused by his antics, so of course you agreed. Without hesitation the oni all but dragged you out the door and towards the beach.
When you arrived.... oh crap.
Apparently, you need to get a “warrant” or something to set up the most romantic love confession of all time. Are they trying to say they own the beach or something? That's crazy now! The gang members were trying to explain themselves to the Tenryou Commission guards when you both walked in on the scene. Itto may have made things only a little tiny bit worse when he called the annoyed guard a “block head without a romantic bone in his body”, but no one was keeping score were they? Nonetheless, the whole altercation placed everyone on the scene in a Tenryo Commission cell... including you. 
Shinobu was gonna be so pissed.
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Wanderer
Fatal Flaw: Forgets he’s supposed to be confessing.
The whole situation was incredibly annoying anyway. You were the one who wouldn’t take the hint, why should he have to spell it out for you. It’s not like he even wanted these feelings. It was all happening without his permission. On top of that, you were dense enough to miss the point every single time he tried to explain it to you.  
“Is something on my face?” You asked your newly reformed friend while putting down your book. He'd been boring holes into your skull for several minutes now. 
“No? Why are you asking dumb questions?” He snapped. You noticed Wanderer had been doing that quite frequently recently. You sighed in defeat and began gathering your things.
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, I’m heading out.” You told him casually. 
You were usually pretty patient with Wanderer, but he’d been in some sort of sour mood lately. Typically it took a few more irksome things before he would start his attitude, but you just couldn’t figure out whats been setting him off recently. You decided it was best to just let him calm down and try again later.
“Don’t.” Wanderer said snatched your hand roughly before you could get too far. “I didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t calling you dumb.” He spoke without looking directly at you. You made no movement towards returning and his grip on your hand did not let up. 
“And?” You prompted gently.
“Sorry. I’m sorry I said it.” He spat out, clearly annoyed.
You settled back down and asked him what's been bothering him. It’s clear that he was on edge and when you pointed it out his posture became rigid. He was a former Harbinger for fuck sake. Why was this so terrifying. He had been through hell and back without flinching, yet here you were just a person with a goofy laugh and weird interests. It shouldn’t be that hard.
“It’s your fault.” The boy accused, shooting you an annoyed glare. “These emotions aren’t exactly something that come with a manual.”
You blinked back at him in confusion and damn it now you looked cute.
“Stop looking at me! It’s weird.” Wanderer sneered, and immediately scolded himself for harsh it came out. You narrowed your eyes and pointed out that he was just staring at you just a few moments ago. Doesn't that make him weird too? “What? No! That was different. Fuck, you’re already missing the point. That’s why this is impossible with you!” 
You were loosing your patience and told him he was being just as impossible. “Me? At least I'm trying to talk here. You make things so much harder. If you just didn’t look at me like I asked, this wouldn’t have been an issue.” The boy jabbed back at you. 
The bickering went on for a while and concluded with both of you storming off in opposite directions. It wasn’t until Wanderer entered the second room over that he remembered what he was trying to say...... “Ugh, smooth.” He scowls.
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<A/N: Hello again! I forgot this one was so long! Thanks for the love I've been receiving on my other works! I read them all and they got me kicking my feet and twirling my hair frfr!>
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avocado-writing · 6 days
Note
I loved your Pregnancy headcannons for the bg3 boys. I was wondering if you could maybe do more and possibly about weird Pregnancy Cravings. I'd think it be funny to have Tav (durge/vampire/or not) just suddenly have this strong craving to drink blood. Or maybe they came across something during their adventures that was just weird and now Tav craves that exact thing.
this made me think about weird pregnancy cravings for each of the bg3 men and how they’d react to you, so here we go. rated M. original
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Wyll
You have normal cravings, thank the gods. Well, as “normal” as they can get.
Rich and bizarre foods. Filet mignon and sorbet, that sort of thing.
Maybe something a bit spicier if he’s been turned devilish by Mizora, but honestly nothing that counts as strange.
Wyll is a godsend. If you ever mention you have a craving then he goes and gets it for you, even if it’s late at night and you’re both tucked up in bed.
He watches you eat and gets you to give him a little food review! He listens and nods along; it’s playful and sweet.
Constantly whispering to your belly, “you have very odd taste little one… I hope you take more after me and have a normal palate…”
You laugh and shove him playfully, he is enamoured.
Astarion
It’s not exactly blood that you crave… but a raw steak looks super good right now.
He watches you eat rarer and rarer meat until it’s practically bloody off the bone. Pursed lips, looking at you from over the rim of his wineglass.
“Darling; are you sure that’s… normal?”
You gesture to him wildly with a fork. His eyes go wide, you don’t stop eating.
“You’re the one who fucked a dhampling into me, Astarion! I don’t know what’s normal! This is entirely new territory!”
He apologises and keeps the raw meat coming, taking very good care of you indeed. Even after you give birth, you never go back to anything above medium-rare.
Gale
When you’re pregnant with Gale’s baby, he comes home to find you with necklaces in your mouth. Magic ones.
At first it’s just the original talisman that you wore about your neck anyway, something with a charge of Cure Wounds in it, and you’d just end up with it on your tongue without thinking.
Soon it gets too much. You look at someone’s Boots of Brilliance and start salivating.
“This is your fault, Dekarios…” you mutter after he gently pulls a magic glove from your mouth like you’re a cat caught eating something it shouldn’t.
He apologises because, yes, clearly the netherese orb continues to have an effect.
Starts cooking for you more and channels the weave into the food he makes for you, so that you can satisfy your cravings without risking accidentally choking on clothing.
Mostly works… but still sees you eyeing his robes hungrily sometimes. Though actually you may just be checking out his arse.
Halsin
The need for honey has never been more compelling.
Oh, how you long for it. Directly from the source, thick comb to dance across your lips.
Halsin finds you with your hand in a beehive one day, a ward around yourself to stop any stings. He realises ah, he may have had more to do with your current state than just the act of conception…
Does his best to source you as much honey as he can and as safely as possible. You pour it onto him at night and lick it off, revelling in the taste of it just as much as the taste of him.
You long for salmon, too, if you can. He finds you trying to catch them in the river with your bare hands. It’s so sweet he can only stop and watch for a while before you roar - literally roar - for him to come and help you.
When the baby is born with little furry bear ears and a tail, the two of you think about that… wildshape night.
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maculategiraffe · 6 months
Text
so it is my understanding from books that it used to be that you went to the grocer(y store) and went up to the counter and told the grocer or the grocer's assistant your list, and the grocer was like "cool" and went and grabbed everything off the shelves and brought it to you while you waited at the counter. (either that or you could telephone the grocer with your list and send someone else to go pick it up for you. your husband or your daughter or your children's magical nanny as the case may be.) also the milkman came to your house and brought you milk and the butcher's assistant brought you meat on his little tricycle and the baker's assistant brought you bread. on like a subscription service
okay so I don't like the way we are doing things now. I don't like having to walk past miles and miles of scented candles and birthday cards and kitty litter and vaginal deodorants and mylar balloons and craft IPAs and erasers shaped like hamburgers just because I am out of eggs. and I don't want to pad out the amount of groceries I need to make the delivery trip worth the while of some anonymous underpaid overworked algorithm slave. I want to leave a note on the door asking the butter and egg man to bring an extra dozen eggs next time. and then I want the butter and egg man to go home and gossip to his wife about how I must be trying to learn fancy baking again because I have doubled my egg order and his wife will be like nice :) let's go out to dinner on friday and toast old miss giraffe's fifty-seventh attempt at learning to make her own macarons. who do I write to about this
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cautuscoralcoast · 1 month
Text
The Flesh, Blood, Bone, Heart and Soul : There once was a jellyfish who wished to be human
Laios Touden x Monster! Reader
Synopsis - you're a jellyfish who had no heart or soul to even desire the purest desire—you wanted nothing and desired not even the will to eat. One day, a winged lion came to you and asked if you wanted to see. You didn't know what that meant at the time; that was until the lion wanted you to meet a human.
Word count: 7.8k
Tw. Very brief mentions cannibalism, depictions of violence and lots of blood, near character death, eating disorders, major spoilers for the manga, viewer's discretion advised
Next.
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For the longest time, you were just a jellyfish. A lone jellyfish floating in the abyss of water, deep in the dungeon.
You watched as those sea creatures ate each other. Feasting on each others flesh and tearing tails and fins off of each other. But then you would watch them mate and produce offspring — and the cycle repeats.
All you would and could do was watch as they did so; just eating the scraps and algae. And that was all you would do — eat. With no coherent thought, you were just a regular jellyfish in an aquarium full of monsters.
"Do you want to think?"
What was there to think? All you needed to do was eat.
"Do you want to see those mermaids in disgust?"
Why would you want to see mermaids? You already can.
"Do you want to go beyond this aquarium and up above the surface?"
You don't know what that means.
It wasn't anything magical or grand. One day, you realized you were alive and living in a sea with other live creatures. You didn't think much of it. It was as if you knew for your entire life.
It was when one of the mermaids tried attacking you, did you realize what the power of sentience gave you.
You could eat more than just scraps.
From a jellyfish, you morphed into a monstrous, distorted version of a mermaid. The more you ate, the bigger you got, and the more you turned into into a coverage shape. You became the serpant of the dungeons sea, devorour of all creatures from the waters. You ate undines, mermaids, mermen, and anything that was in your domain.
But then one day, suddenly, you felt something new.
You felt lonely.
There were very little monsters of your kind that would dare approach you. Even then, you ate so much there wasn't anything that could approach you.
You didn't want to eat anymore. You didn't want those monsters gone. You don't want to be alone.
You morphed from a leviathan sea serpant back into a jellyfish like-form. With flesh akin to jellyfish and a form similar to the mermaids that sung you songs: You were you.
"Do you want to go back to how things were?"
"If I did, then things would get as scary as I was and eat everything."
"They still would regardless of your wishes."
"Then stop allowing them!"
"They are the same as you, unknowing. It is my faith and goodwill to grant those with desires, knowledge."
"Then what may I do?"
"Do you want things to go back as they were before?"
"No."
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
Like the sea anemones and algae, you remained stationary in place.
You sat on a coral throne, hands in your lap, listening to the mermaids sing. You watched as juvenile mermaids and merman fought each other, and despite the mermaids always having the upper hand, you enjoyed seeing the mermen struggle for survival. It was truly amazing to see the will all living things in the dungeons waters have to live. It was a perfect equalizer, keeping the population of both at bay.
As you sat on your coral throne, like the canary birds that sing, you sang the monarchs melody for the mermaids. You sang your song, and they would sing theirs. They wove you dresses and hairpieces from the coral and stone under the dungeons floor. They gave you the flesh of mermen, bladefish, and cephalopds. You felt the meat the mermaids would in your hands. You squeezed the lump of flesh as blood flowed in the water, and you devoured it.
You hated eating.
It was one of the things you came to despise. For you, it was the source of all evil things. It was desire and hunger that nearly made you eat all living things in this artificial ocean. It was the desire to eat that ruined you. Hunger and desire was what made so very lonely. It was that very desire that caused so many plants and organisms to suffer in pain. You couldn't believe you ate all those creatures.
You hated eating.
Only eating when you were on the brink of death.
You were the hunter; you dominated the waters of the dungeon. You watched and felt every movement in the water. You smelled and tasted every bit of blood that flowed in the water. You saw everything — there was not a single thing that could escape your watchful eyes. You sought out those monsters with desires as strong as yours, and with a watchful gaze, you wrapped your lappets around the still living prey. They could try biting you, tearing your skin, scratching out pieces of your flesh, but that never stopped your attack. There was no need to pay attention to pain you couldn't feel. They never were alive long enough to injure you anyway—especially not when you had the water's blessing.
Your lappets constricting and tightening as you felt them grow faint. Their mind and body numbing as you constricted tighter. They couldn't hurt you when they couldn't move.
As they remain barely conscious, you dug through their flesh and ripped the bones out. You peeled any fur off the skin and ate the tissue. You chewed on the blood vessels, trying to draw out more and more blood. You constricted around them tighter and tigher to watch the blood squeeze out of the limp lump of flesh. You tightened your hold on it as you tore through muscle and fat to reach the heart.
It was only when you had all the hearts that you finally let go of the lifeless piece of flesh.
The mermaids really liked it when you brought them the heart of the prey. However, there were days you were especially hungry; just so very hungry, you couldn't help resist going out to hunt for more.
You felt the water move ever so slightly.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
Songs were the mermaids' passion.
As you rest upon your coral throne, the sung you songs. They loved to dance and sing the events of that day. They told you stories of the food they ate, the stones they found, the surface creatures they lured in the water, or even the mischievous actions of the youngest mermaid.
Blessed by the waters of the dungeon, songs became your passion.
Every night cycle, you love to rest in the coral reefs as they rest by your side. You would sing them your melody — one about the wonders and curse of gluttony. You lulled them to sleep, and once you were sure that they all were asleep, you would melt away and morph back into a jellyfish. You would shield them with your body, and it was only when you were sure they were safe, did you finally allow yourself to sleep.
The mermaids, sirens, fish, and kelpie were your passion.
You love them all so dearly. Despite knowing their nature to devour each other, you can't help but still love each and every one of them.
It wasn't their fault that they needed to eat. They were born, as all living things, to eat, consume, reproduce, die, and repeat. You couldn't blame them over something that is instinct. You were once the same; so very small, so very primitive. You were once just a jellyfish with no thought nor any sense of pain.
"There is this human who goes by the name Laios. Unlike the humans in the stories I tell you, he admires the monsters in the dungeon."
You opened your eyes as you hid beneath the coral reef. "Is that so?"
"He admires the biological nature of monsters. He has a deep passion for the monsters of this dungeon and holds a great yearning for knowledge."
"A human..." You asked as you held your lappets closer to your body. "Humans are the same as I, aren't they?"
The lion chuckled as his voice bellowed in your head. "Humans are much more extraordinary. They are born with the nature to exceed the instinct and animalistic nature all life is born with. They needed no gift to have the ability to think beyond nothing. You aren't anything close to their organic being; You're just an artificial attempt at intelligent life."
You tilt your head to your side as you pondered. "If I don't exceed this nature of mine and they do, then this human wouldn't have the primal fear when facing monsters, am I correct?"
"He wants to live alongside monsters. He doesn't wish for them to be seen as monsters but rather the same as the living creatures above."
"The same?"
"Yes—just as you accept the cruel nature of the creatures in your residence, he admires the art and anatomy of all of them."
"Will he hurt them?"
"He'll hurt them the same way they hurt their prey to eat."
"I see..." You closed your eyes as you tried to visualize this human the lion mentioned. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't picture a human. You never saw anything above the water. You had no need to follow the mermaids as they hunted for prey. You had no need to ever venture above the known.
But a human...it was foreign to think that any living thing could ever set aside the primal instinct of life itself. So much so that they were willing to accept the creatures that deem them as prey.
"Why are you telling me about this human?"
"I want you to meet him."
A human named Laios, was it?
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
You sat on your coral throne as you watched the young mermaids play amongst themselves. You couldn't help but smile as one of the older mermaids scared them.
You held your hands close to your chest, and you sang your song. Some mermaids wove oriements into your your hair and lappets. They brushed out your clothing and adorned your head with a coral crown. Some of the mermaids sung, but never was it your song.
Songs are the passion of all mermaids.
Songs are the soul in each individual one. Despite the mutual respect you and the mermaids hold for each other, you aren't the same species. You have your melody, and they have their own. As much as they may love your voice, they would absolutely detest you if you tried to sing with them.
You held your hands up to your face as you thought of this. You wonder if humans were the same. The lion said they were the perfect beings to possess the ability to deny their instincts. Depsite being a mockery of sentience, you were also able to deny the instincts you were born with. If that's was makes something sapient then you are sure they would love to sing with you.
"The human sung?"
The mermaids in front of you seemed distressed as they waved their hands around, blowing rings in the water. One of them placed their head on your lap as they lamented the horrible voice of the human voice.
You couldn't help but chuckle as you pat her head. You never once heard of any surface dwellers trying to sing along with them. But as amusing as it was, you couldn't help sympathize with them.
Yet, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement at the fact that humans can sing along those foreign to them.
Not long after this, you heard that another surface dweller ate an undine.
"An undine?! Was it the same human?"
The mermaids shook their heads as they pointed to their ears.
"This one had long ears?"
The more they told you about this group of surface dwellers, the more you wanted to see for yourself.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
You never felt humiliation, pain, or defeat.
You were the monarch of sea within the dungeon. There was nothing that could best you underwater just as there was nothing you could not eat.
But above the surface, however, you didn't know if you held the same strength.
You were heavy—very, very heavy. You were bigger than any mermaid yet smaller than a kraken. you had thousands of lappets and hundreds of cloth woven by the mermaids. Your hair was abundant and adorned with millions of small oriements. Though you could reduce yourself to a smaller size, why do so when you're weightless underwater?
It was a dilemma you pondered for ages. The smaller you got, the less strength you possessed, and if you were too big, you wouldn't be able to move above water. You didn't want to be anywhere near where the mermaids usually reside. You didn't want to impede on their routine, nor did you wish to drag them into trouble if something were to happen. If you were looking for a location like that, there were little places you could emerge from. These places were also uncharted territory with how little any other aquatic species spent there.
But curiosity got the better of you, and so you swam up.
You stared for the longest at the water meeting the surface. You raised your hand to touch the small barrier separating the two. You closed your eyes as you thought about what the stories the lion and mermaids would tell you about the world above.
You took in a deep breath as you raised the top of your head above water. You felt the cold air on your forehead, and the light was blinding. You looked around as you saw a stone room—the same stone that made up the aquarium you called the sea. You pulled yourself on top of the stone flooring as you breathed lightly. It felt just as heavy as you had thought, but you didn't think you would be able to carry yourself with ease.
Just as you were acclimating to the change of environment, you heard footsteps coming from behind you. As quick as you went above, you went back into the water. You swam close to the surface as you warily looked through the ripples of the water.
You watched as a human male adorned in silver cloth ran close the water. You lowered yourself deeper into the water as he just briefly saw you.
"I swore I saw mermaid!"
Three others came along right behind as the long-eared female spoke up.
"Laios, there are no mermaids at this level of the dungeon, much less this area!—those mushrooms are making you hallucinate."
The longed-eared one, did she say Laios?
"Guys, I hear something in the water...."
Laios. Laios. Laios. Laios. Laios.
Laios was the one the lion told you about.
"Those mushrooms weren't hallucinogens! And there was a mermaid! This one was a different color! I always wondered if it was possible for monsters to be albino like regular animals we have on the island. It's possible that this mermaid is here because they were ostracized by the—"
You jumped out of the water and landed in front of the group of surface dwellers. You leaned down as you stared at the one adorned in silver cloth. He was smaller than expected; You thought he would be bigger than the mermaids, and he was, but only by a little.
"I never seen a mermaid that big!"
You turned to face the short–bearded man. You never thought surface dwellers could vary in size and shape. Most of the mermaids and mermen you saw were relatively the same in appearance.
"That's because that isn't a mermaid! This one seems to be a Scyphozoa demi-human varient judging by the tentacles."
The shortest one began to talk as he slowly walked backward, "Should we even be standing here waiting for it to attack?"
You snapped out of your daze as you remembered why you were here. You leaned even closer to what you presumed to be Laios and wrapped your hands around him.
"Huh?"
You caught a glimpse of the shape of the lion on his side, and it was then you knew that this, for sure was, Laios!
You lifted him up into the air as you twirled and jumped back into the water. You couldn't help but smile widely as you finally met the human the lion talked so highly about. You felt his body and were surprised by the sturdiness of the silver cloth. You were about to laugh at his puffed up cheeks when you remembered a crucial detail about surface dwellers.
You panicked as you hastily rose back up to the surface. You briefly loosened your grip on him as you felt the sudden decrease in pressure. As you did, he quickly used this to his advantage and got out his sword, and cut one of your hands.
"LAIOS!'
You let go out of him out of surprise, dropping him into the water. You looked at your hand as you saw blood oozing out. It wasn't often you were injured. It was also because of your lack of pain that there were many times when the mermaids noticed when you accidentally cut yourself when swimming near rocks or trident left by the mermen.
Remembering Laios, you dove back into the water to retrieve him. However, as you did so, the long–eared female ran up to you and tapped you with her staff.
You were surprised by her ability to walk on water, but you were even more so when you felt yourself get pushed out from the water.
You felt yourself choke.
Whatever that girl did to you, it made you sick. You struggled to balance yourself as you felt disoriented from seeing the water below you. You couldn't feel the water's blessing: You didn't feel safe. You saw Laios run up to you and cut some of your lappets.
Why would he hurt you?
"CHILCHUCK, AIM FOR THE NECK!"
Oh.
The look of determination and andrenalin you saw in their eyes was familiar. They thought you were going to eat them; just as you ate your prey, they thought you were going to kill them.
You struggled to sit up as you saw an arrow close in you.
This was your mistake. You should've conveyed your intentions clearly.
You covered your head as you dropped to the waters surface. You writhed on the surface, trying desperately to go back into the water. You tried destroying whatever separated you from your home, but no matter what you did, nothing worked.
Laios ran up to you with his sword, and he swung at your neck.
Just like underwater, in your domain, you felt time slow down.
Despite not being able to feel much pain, you certainly knew what areas of your body, once they began to bleed, would bring you death.
And he wanted to kill you.
But the look in his eyes wasn't of fear, nor was it out of the need to survive. It was something foreign, and it scared you.
You felt yourself breathe heavily as you became aware of the urgency of the situation.
"St—STAY BACK!!!"
Your voice reverberated, pushing all of them away.
This wasn't underwater.
You couldn't swim away, you couldn't use all of your strength, you couldn't avoid the attacks, you could hardly move, you felt sickly.
You should have been more prepared.
You felt the water briefly on your skin. As you saw the long–eared girl fall over, you felt yourself fall back into the water.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
For the longest time, you believed yourself to be similar to humans and all other surface dwellers.
That, unlike the mermaids, the mermen, the fish, the kraken, the giant crabs, and all monsters that fell into your waters; you could both interact with mutual understanding.
Despite your respect and love for the mermaids, you'll never be able to understand the gluttonous cannibalistic nature of theirs. You don't understand how they don't feel remorse in slaughtering the young mermen. You don't know how they eat more than their fair share.
Yes, you killed and brutalized monsters—but that was because they posed a danger to the rest of the ecosystem. They were just like you when you got intelligence. They were going to everything until there was nothing left. They were going to ruin everything. Besides, the only times you ate was when you fought those with the same gift as you. You couldn't bring yourself to eat something as innocent as the small critters in the dungeon.
You had to do it.
You weren't like the mermaids who gave into their sadistic, cannibalistic nature. You weren't like the mermen who thought of nothing other than to devour and reproduce. You weren't like kraken, who held a monstrous appearance without any hint of humanity. You didn't eat because you want to. You hated the taste flesh and blood; it is disgusting, filthy, and it brought extreme bouts of self–loathing.
You weren't a monster.
But they thought you were.
You sat your coral throne as you held your body close.
"Do I look like a monster?"
The lion stayed quiet for a long time. "You are far from what 'they' would consider sapient. Those mermaids of yours look far more human than you do."
You looked at your lappets. They were some as thin as veins, some a curly as frills, others as translucent as crystal. No other surface dweller has tendrils like these. Your skin is shades of blues, pinks, and purples: nothing like the shades of any humans the mermaids have described. Your ears weren't even natural—it was just remnant from when you became that monstrous sea serpent. Your nails were far too sharp: You were a jellyfish, you shouldn't even have nails. Nothing about you was normal: You didn’t resemble a single creature in this dungeon. You were an amalgamation of mistake after mistake, built upon an artificial creature.
"But not all of them are the same! There are some with long ears! Some are short and compact! Didn't you say that some live hundreds of years while others only sixty?! Like you said, they aren't all made equally! Not all of them are the same, right?! I can think and have desires besides the instincts I was born with! I may not be the same as them, but I am similar, right? So I—we should be able to understand each other! I—I don't—"
"You're fine the way you are."
You pulled on your hair; you wanted to pull it all out. Jellyfish don't have hair.
"Stop talking."
"You may not ever look nor ever become a true 'human', but that's what makes you extraordinary. You're the only being alive in this world to be loved by the sea and oceans itself to be blessed."
"I said to stay quiet!"
You wanted to rip your flesh out, to get all that blood out—jellyfish don't have either.
"You are evidence that monsters can gain humanity."
"SHUT UP!"
You wanted to do something but you don't know what.
"Oh, young child, you can cry if you so desire."
And so you cried for the first time in your hundreds of years of life.
You wish you had never desired to eat.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
The next time you would meet Laios, it would be when he nearly died.
You were resting on your coral throne; far away from any surface opening. You didn't want to go back up for another very long time. Leaning on the arm rest, covering your face with your hands, you watched as the mermaids tried to cheer you up. This was the first time any of them had seen their monarch sit in sadness. They didn't want to see their beloved monarch cry any longer.
Behind the coral throne were five mermaids; they were discussing what happened to their monarch to make them so sad. One of them piped up saying how they saw you go to the surface, and when you came back, you were bleeding. Out of concern and curiosity, they swam up to where you came from and saw four surface dwellers. They were with that detestable human that defiled their song. If they were with him, then they must have attacked you!
"W°e sh○uld br°ing ●ne ○f the•m her°e t○ all○w th°em t○ ge•t reve°n•g●!"
Imagine your surprise when you saw five mermaids holding an unconscious human male. One of them held the human in their arms as they struggled to swim up to your throne. You finally got up from your somber and flinched in surprise when you saw—
"Laios?"
You swam up and pulled him out of the mermaids arms: He felt limp in your arms. You brought his forehead towards yours as you looked at his face—he's alive.
You turned to the mermaid in confusion as you asked why they brought him here.
"Y○u w°ere sa•d ●•nd we° d○n't wa•nt t● se°e° y○u sa•d. Di°d we d○ s○me•thi•ng wr●ng?"
You wanted to scold them, you really did: However, you couldn't bring yourself to get mad at them. How were they supposed to know what was going through your mind? Besides, they didn't do this at of ill intent.
"No, you did just fine. However, I will have to handle this situation myself, so I'm afraid I'll have to depart temporarily. Please do tell your sisters not to leave the coral reef until I return."
You wrapped your arms around his body tightly when you saw the five mermaids leave. You sighed as you let go of him to grab his face. Though he is still alive, he wouldn't last much longer under in this state. You brought your lips towards his and placed a gentle kiss; You tried to share the water's blessing with him. If it worked as intended, it should help expell any water in his lungs the same way you and the mermaids do—at the very least, prevent any more water from entering his lungs.
You sighed, and so you swam towards the closet opening to the surface. You breached the water, and you pulled Laios onto the stone flooring—struggling to do so with how heavy the water made everything.
You fell on top of him in the struggle. You breathed heavily as you got up and sat yourself on the ledge. You looked over at him and wondered if he would wake up. Looking at him, you thought, since he was already unconscious when you found him, wouldn't he already have water in his lungs?
You panicked at the thought.
What to do, what to do, what do you even do? You never even met a creature who isn't even able to breathe under water, and now you have to save one.
"You may not have magic, but you have the water's blessing. As you did before to prevent the water from harming him, use it to draw out the water from his system."
You listened as the lion spoke from the back of your mind. You really didn't know if any of this would work. You grabbed the hem of his garment and raised it over his chest.
"Just imagine that the water is moving with your movements."
"How so?"
"You'll know."
You looked at Laios' abdomen and took a deep breath. You placed your finger right above his navel. Just as if you were going to cut him with your nail, you gently grazed his skin as you brought your finger up to his chest. You pushed your hand on his chest, and with your other hand, you stuck two fingers in his mouth.
"I'll know, I'll know, I'll know when I get there."
You felt the water brush your fingertips, and you pulled the water out of his mouth.
"Did that long–eared female also have the water's blessing? She was able to keep me from going in the water. "
"She had magic."
"Magic?"
"Yes, I believe we had this conversation once before, child of mi—" The lion was interrupted as Laios began to cough up the remaining water.
Startled, you froze, unknowing what to do. It was only when he suddenly sat up that you jumped back into the water. What if he tried to attack you like he did before? Not that you blame him or anything. regardless, you didn't wish to die from accidental blood loss — that's one thing the water's blessing doesn't help you with. You remained far away from the stone ledge as Laios gained consciousness.
You watched as he took off his shirt and gathered his armor. You watched as he questioned his surroundings and current predicament. You watched rather intently that you didn't even notice you were drifting closer.
Laios must have heard your lappets splashing around in the water because he turned to your direction. Making sudden eye contact surprised you enough to make you submerge back into the water.
"Wa—Wait!"
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
What Laios came to see was a mermaid with biological discoloration from typical mermaids. He wanted to know if it were possible for mermaids to have the mutuations regular animals do. So when Laios found a monster resembling both mammalian and pisces species, he wanted nothing more but to have a taste.
A mix of jellyfish, sea serpents, and mermaid, it was a newly discovered humanoid monster that not even the dungeon gourmet guide had known of! He wondered if each separate piece would taste similar to their monster counterpart or taste entirely like a new thing.
When the monster leaned over his party, he didn't expect it to suddenly pick him up. It held him up high, and he couldn't help but bubble up in amazement. Laois could see the many different colors and features he didn't see from the ground. Looking at it much more closely, he saw what previously thought was flesh was actually a form of clothing.
Laios wished he could examine every inch of this newly discovered monster, but that thought was quickly broken when the monster suddenly dragged him underwater. He really thought the monster was going to eat him when it opened its mouth, but imagine his surprise when instead, it swung him around with such force he really thought he would pass out. Feeling the monster's strength firsthand, he wondered what place you would have in the food chain.
When Marcille casted waterwalk on it, he couldn't help but cut some of the lappets for later consumption; He really hoped they didn't taste anything like cephalopds.
What none of them expected was for it to talk. It didn't sing like a mermaid nor roar like dragons, it actually spoke. It leaned back it covered its face with its arms and shouted.
"St—STAY BACK!"
Everyone was stunned by the intensity of the sound: Chilchuck and Marcille were hit the hardest. Laios couldn't help but wonder about the monsters choice of words. Did it truly know what those words meant, or was it simply replicating words it heard from previous prey?
But besides that, the Scyphozoa tentacles did taste better than cephalopds—that is, it didn't taste like anything at all. Though it was rather nice to chew on for stimulation. Senshi seemed to enjoy the texture; Marcille and Chilchuck refused because "it was morally wrong."
Laios just couldn't understand their reasoning. It's not like the sea monster was the same as them. It wasn't a tall–man, not an elf, and definitely not a half–foot. They don't even believe monsters like mermaids or mermen to even be sapient yet still refuse to eat them. What's the difference between eating cattle and monsters anyway? He really didn't understand them.
Monsters were....so much more than that. They eat, eat, and eat; They eat anything regardless of species or appearance. They didn't care about petty morale or rational—they ate to survive. There didn't think about tomorrow or of the fragile balance of life in the dungeon.
Monsters were truly a reflection of the flesh and instinct of all living things.
So why didn't that monster eat him when it had him underwater?
Did it know that he had armor and didn't want the struggle of trying to bite down? But why bring him back to the surface when it was the most physically strong underwater? Before it even grabbed him, why did it bother to look at them without doing anything, and why grab him?—Senshi was the closest one, and it went for Laios, who was much farther away
He got his answer when he woke up after being dragged underwater by a group of mermaids.
Alone in an unknown part of the dungeon, he was drenched in water, and his shirt was pulled up. Laios felt a chill running up when he felt how cold his shirt was. He took his shirt off and looked around to see his armor scattered. He swore he had his armor on.... His book!
Laios quickly stood up to try to find the book. He was happy to find it in perfect condition: The armor and layers must have protected the book from getting wet. He held the book to his bare chest when he heard the sound of splashing water. He turned around and saw the same monster that had nearly drowned him.
Did the monster save him by any chance? Before he could ask, the monster quickly submerged underwater.
"Wa—Wait!"
Laios ran up to the water and kneeled at the edge, trying to see where the monster went. The water was so much darker than he had thought, making it difficult to see. From the darkness, he could make out soft movements.
Slightly nervous, Laios called out, "I—Thank you for helping me!"
He didn't know what he was thinking when he said that. He didn't even know for certain if the monster helped him or just came by to eat him. Despite this, he continued, "I apologize for trying to kill you the other day! I didn't realize you were....."
Were what? Sentient? Self–aware?
"—trying to communicate with us! I should have realized you wanted to speak or converse in whatever language you speak!"
Laios placed his head on the ground as he hoped his apology would reach the monster. The more he thought about it, the more it wouldn't be likely that the monster would be able to speak his language. But then again, it speak their language back when he attacked it....
From a distance, he heard the monster come back up. Without moving from his position, he listened as the monster got closer and closer to him. He felt something cold hit his back, and again, again, and soon more droplets of water fell on top of him. Laios shivered as he suddenly sat up to only be faced with the monster.
"Do not feel the need to apologize. I am to blame—it was due to my insolent behavior that caused you and your companions to attack me. So, for that, I apologize."
Laios froze: It wasn't fear or dread that caused him to do so—it was out of pure admiration. He really wanted to inspect this creatures anatomy!
"Your tentacles felt really nice to chew on, so no need to apologize."
The look of confusion on the monster's face told him that he probably shouldn't have said that.
"—I mean! We had your tentacles from when I cut them, and you were gone, and why leave them there to waste away when we could've eaten them! Besides, you tasted really good with seasoning and, like I said, were nice to chew on!"
He should have just drowned.
The humanoid monster brought a hand to their face and closed their eyes in thought. "You ate me, but how is that so? I'm still here, after all."
Laios was now confused.
"We ate the tentacles I cut off when we—I attacked you."
"You ate my lappets that you cut off... without killing me....Is it possible to eat prey without bringing them to death?"
"Yes! As long as they don't suffer any critical injuries, they'll be able to survive."
You raised another hand to cover your face as you laughed. This human, Laios, was trying to kill you due to a misunderstanding, kidnapped and almost drowned by mermaids, saved by you, and now telling you how good you tasted. You wondered how it is that he's able to converse with you after the fact. Did he truly have no ill will towards monsters? Was the lion right about his passion for monsters?
"Like the mermaids, did you eat because of desire and pleasure? Or was it because of the need to survive?"
You wanted to know, did humans have the same primal nature like the mermaids, or were they like you: unwilling to eat unless you desperately needed it.
"I ate your tentacles because I really wanted to know what it would taste like. So, I guess I ate because I desired too and found pleasure in knowing what you would taste like."
You didn't say anything. You stared at him for a few seconds before lowering yourself at eye level with him. "My name is (y/n), I am the monarch of the mermaids and arbitor of the dungeon's waters. Just who might you be?"
You knew his name; You knew him more than he knew about you. But as things stand, you didn't want to surprise Laios with any more surprises.
Laios gave you a smile as he held out his hand. "My name is Laios Touden."
You looked at his hand in confusion. Was this a type of human custom? Before you could react, he reached for your hand and shook it. His hand was smaller than yours, though not by much.
You couldn't help but smile ever so slightly as you brought your hand to your chest. "So, then Laios, would you like to accompany me underwater?"
Laios gleamed in excitement, but that quickly faded when he realized his current predicament. He was shirtless, away from his party, couldn't breathe underwater, and had limited time to find Falin.
"I—"
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
Laios gave in.
He told you about his need to find his party: You said you could find them easily if they were near a water source, whether it be a fountain or open body of water. He told you about his inability to breathe underwater. After he said this, you smiled as you asked him if he would allow you to pick him up, to which he agreed.
"I am able to bless you the water's blessing. The blessing will allow you to breathe underwater, albeit temporarily."
Before Laios could ask how being blessed worked, you brought his face closer to his and kissed him. Laios felt himself blush hard, especially when you accidentally bit him. He really wanted to feel the inside of your mouth.
When Laios collected his belongings, you asked him to strip out of his clothing.
"—so I can absorb most of the water. I'll be able to keep your items dry under my lappets. They'll be able to form pockets of air to keep them safe from the harsh dungeon waters."
Once you did that, you asked for his pants to which he asked if that could done once they found his group—though he had his quirks, being naked all the way for a long period of time was not one of them.
And with that, you wrapped your arms around him and pressed him close to your chest. Raising one hand to hold his, you submerged underwater.
The underwater half of the dungeon was something that remained a mystery. Even to avid researchers, the deep waters were something very few were willing to dare venture below; and those that were willing rarely ever resurfaced. So, to have the chance to safely voyage the water with the self–proclaimed monarch of mermaids was an opportunity Laios was thankful to have.
Just as Laios had thought, it was as amazing as he had hoped. Clinging onto your back, he watched as the scenery around him changed into something more magical. Though not as boundless as the sea and oceans, it was a sight to behold. The artificial ocean was almost a mirror to the dungeon above: hallways and corridors along all sides of the wall. Paintings everywhere with no coherent thought. Plants growing without discrimination. Luminescent monsters never seen before roaming the floor. It was truly something Laios wished he had the time to venture.
"If I may be so rude to ask, are you the human who had sung with the mermaids some time ago? "
Laios was surprised by how different you sounded in water. He thought about the question for a second. The mermaids, the ones who swam away when he tried to sing with them, they must have been your mermaids. "Human?" That was a new term; you must have confused him with something else. But, before he opened his mouth to speak, he couldn't help but hesitate. It was against his instincts to do so, but he decided to trust you. If he could breathe underwater, then surely he'll be able to speak.
"Yes, I wanted to sing with them to see if we could somehow communicate! It took me a while to learn their song without being entranced, but considering they sing the same song every time, it wasn't too difficult—"
You suddenly spun around, having him rest on your stomach. You held both his hands as you looked at him sternly. "Laios, though I understand your desire to sing with the mermaids, I ask that you don't try to do so in the future. You see, mermaids have their own culture much you do: part of that culture is their melody. So, to have an outsider sing that song that song so carelessly makes them uncomfortable. Even if that song is used to kill those of your kind, I ask that you please respect their wishes."
Laios looked away sheepishly as he apologized. You gleamed with joy and hugged him tight as you spun around.
"What about you? Do you sing the same song as the mermaids, or do you have your own?"
"Ah! Well, the mermaids and I aren't the same race or species, and due to that, I'm unable to sing their song as it deserves to be sung."
"But do you?"
"I—I do, but it's not a song that can be sung often. Blessed by the water, I was bestowed a melody orchestrated for a monarch."
"Can you sing it right now?"
"Perhaps another day."
The lion was right. He yearned to understand much about monsters. As you two ventured towards where his party was located, Laios asked you many questions about the monsters that you'd past by. You obliged, and you told him many of the stories of the aquariums: from the many mermaids who lived in under your rule to the oysters and jellyfish that used to roam the waters. Laios asked: You answered.
The only thing you didn't appreciate was how much he was touching you. Laios kept grabbing you wherever you weren't covered by cloth and squeezed you slightly: pulling on your lappets, ears, and hair. It was when he decided to bite your lappets that you stopped him.
Flustered and full of mixed emotions from the sensation of his teeth on your skin, you scolded him. Laios apologized, but what was he supposed to do? He was faced with a new monster never seen before, and he was supposed to not touch it?
"Laios, do humans have an aquarium as large as this up outside the dungeon?" You asked out of pure curiosity. Never once had the lion told you about the terrain outside the dungeon. You wondered if the walls or flooring were of the same stone from the dungeon. You wondered if the surface's aquarium was limited as it was in the dungeon's waters.
Laios let go of your shoulders as he sat up. Placing a hand under his chin, he pondered how to answer your question. "Outside the dungeon..... the sea and oceans are endless. Here, underwater, you can look straight ahead and see the end of a room. It's small and crowded: not ideal conditions for the survival of the monsters here. Unlike the dungeon, the oceans are boundless; I can look straight ahead in the ocean and see no end. There's so many more monsters and animals in the ocean that comparing the dungeon's artificial sea to the outside isn't even reasonable."
"There aren't any walls outside?"
"No walls other than those from buildings."
An aquarium without being bound by stone walls. More monsters and species not limited by the confinement of the aquarium. Boundless: It was a word you were unfamiliar with. All you ever knew was limited, bound by the knowledge the lion was willing to spare and the fear to even leave the water.
"How I would love to see these oceans and seas one day."
Laios all of sudden dropped all his weight on your back. He wrapped his arms around your waist and squeezed tight. "I want monsters and people to live alongside each other. When I become dungeon master, I promise to show you the ocean."
You remained silent for a while, contemplating the implications of what he just said: "Dungeon master." As you reached the opening closest to his companions. You jumped out of the water and onto the stone flooring. Letting go of his belongings; Laios jumped off your back. You watched as he began to put on the rest of his garments. You watched as he adorned himself in the silver cloth, just like the knight from the stories the lion told you. You watched sadly as you realized this is where you two depart. You watched his every move; watching as he wrote in his book. Despite this heavy feeling on your heart, you couldn't help but want to smile. Though your first meeting was a catastrophe, you're quite satisfied that you were able to mend your misunderstandings with one another.
"I look forward to the day you keep your promise."
Before you knew it, Laios was gone, and you were once again alone with nothing else but the mermaids.
Bound by the water, unable to leave the dungeon: You forgot to ask if he thought of you as a monster.
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Thank you for reading part one of "The Flesh, Blood, Bone, Heart and Soul."
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