#MOM NO

[voltrohgodwhat]

Krolia joining a Mom Forum just to troll people:

Post: "My son is in junior varsity now!"

Krolia: "That's nice. My son recently spearheaded a covert operation to take down a terrorist column, and liberated a burning planet with nothing but his squad of lesbians and a barely-functional black market cargo ship."

-

Post: "Share your pictures! Here's my child on their first day of college!"

Krolia: [posts grainy, blurry cryptid shots of Keith stalking through the desert at 3AM]

-

Post: "How do you guys teach your kids to deal with problems? We're having some bullying issues at school."

Krolia: "If they're not decimating their enemies by at least age 5, you're doing it wrong. Vrepit sa."

-

Post: "Ladies! Camping beauty tips? We're off for the weekend!"

Krolia: "Remember the S's of camouflage: Stillness, Shape, Shadow, Shine, Silhouette, Signature, and Spacing. You must adapt to resemble your environment, and disrupt your presentation to the enemy. When disguising your weapon, avoid wrapping foliage or cover around the functional portions of a firearm-"

-

Post: "Creative ideas for hide and seek and tag games?"

Krolia: "Remember, when stalking a target, avoid looking directly at the back of their head, as they may be able to sense your approach."

-

Post: "Is it okay to let my son go out with his friends late?"

Krolia: "Group bonding is essential. The warriors your son spends time with will help teach him right from wrong in battle. He must learn how to operate within a small unit."

#she'd get banned #then Pidge would constantly help her create alts regardless of IP ban because she lives for watching Krolia go off #other Paladin moms read from the sidelines equally gleeful and disturbed #Keith finds out and bruises the bridge of his nose pinching it #mom no #marginally insane thoughts #headcannons #dubious quality #vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender #vld krolia #vld keith #shitposting #military-adjacent nonsense #I'm so sorry it's a weird time #mutterings

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Yang: Blake! I wanna try something! Can you come here for a minute?

Blake: Sure, what is it?

Yang: Okay! Just follow my lead. *clasps hands with fingers interlaced* Clasp your hands like this.

Blake: *raises a brow but copies*

Yang: Awesome! Now, put one set of fingers up. *opens fingers on right hand* Like this!

Blake: *chuckles lightly and follows* Okay, now what?

Yang: Just this. *interlaces her fingers with Blake's and pins her trapped hands above her head against the wall* How you like tha-

Blake: *moans as her pupils dilate exponentially*

Yang: ......

Blake: .....

Yang: .....

Blake: ......*wraps legs around Yang's waist* Try to keep up.

Yang: Oh, sh- *insert Mortal Kombat finishing move voice over*

Bonus:

Kali and Willow: hiding and eating popcorn in the corner.

Willow: This is better than Atlesian Soap Operas.

Kali: I swear. I better be getting some grandbabies after this.

#bumbleby #pinning girlfriend to the wall #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #willow schnee #kali protect your future daughter in law #mom no #incorrect rwby quotes #because why not #Finish Her! #why am i like this?

[stellwynds]

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY MY NIECE AND NEPHEW ARE OUTSIDE SCREAMING “GAY RIGHTS” WHILE MY (RELIGIOUS) MOTHER IS YELLING PRAYERS. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

#I’M SO WORRIED #MOM NO #BUT ALSO WHAT THE FUCK #I’M LAUGHING SO HARD #I’M GONNA GO CRAZY #GAY RIGHTS? #GAY RIGHTS #gay #lgbtq #lesbian

[flumphulous]

SCREAMING, KICKING MY FEET, GIGGLING THE SHIT INTO MY PILLOW, WRITHING IN EMBARRASSING REALIZATION

#I SAID IT FIRST HOW DID I JUST REALIZE THIS #I’M AHHhhH #screaming crying hyperventilating #i fell off my bed ow wtf- #ANYWAYS NOT THE POINT #I—— #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #that is the sound of this webpage immediately breaking down #my mom literally called me and said “i’ll prepare the blessings” #MOM NO #HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WH

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

My mom: Maybe you should consider going to college for writing!

Me: Mom, what kind of career could I get with creative writing?

My mom: You could write a book and get money from that

Me: I think you underestimate how difficult writing a book is

#my parents visited me yesterday and we were talking about college #because im 20 and havent started college #and have no plans to start #at least for now #school is hard #so we were talkinf about things like majors and community colleges and classes #i said i wasnt quite sure what i wanted to do as a career and she hit me with this #mom no #right now the only writing ive been able to do is brainstorming #its not even writing #its throwing ideas together in a tumblr draft and then saving it #in hopes thay eventually i can craft the stuff into a half decent poem or something #mom you want me to write a book? #i also dont want to do writing as a career and havent for awhile #i want to be a teacher #probably #most likely a music teacher but ive also considered special ed #but also teaching is becoming more and more difficult... #like with restrictions and shit specifically the lgbt limitations #but also teaching is my passion so like. what do i do? #thats why i havent started college yet #but yknow maybe i can just write a book /s

[midpoosimmerr]

#MOM NO #the sims 4 #sims 4 #ts4 #houston we have a queue #mps:legacy #mps:o'haralegacy #mps:sophia #mps:dulce

[anxiousangerball]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but

YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!

YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

#Mom can you pick me up I'm scared #That siren song is playing again #But wouldn't it be neat to dye spin weave sew knit crochet tat #OMG save me #Hobbies #Textile Arts #Crochet #Knitting #Weaving #Spinning yarn #Cross Stitch #Quilting #Never has Grandma Iris' voice been so loud in my head #(Miss you forever Grandma Iris)

[cactuseri]

collection

#seri.txt #these just made me laugh idk 😭 my mom and dad r also both like this #idk if someone’s posted these before but idc #seri’s hits

[personaglitch]

"Self insert characters are cringe"

Bro I'm trying to survive capitalism with maladaptive daydreaming. Leave me alone.

#self insert #maladaptive daydreaming #no shame #cringe safe zone #im trying to exist in a hellscape okay #mom said its my turn to pick the coping mechanism

[sully-s]

Listen, if I had the time I would just make Justice Leauge the mockumentary, lol.

#justice league #dc comics #Batman #WonderWoman #Superman #Flash #green lantern #hal jordan #martian manhunter #hawk girl #aquaman #cyborg #cheetah #captain cold #mockumentary #dcau #my art #fanart #I just love the idea that Sups gets jealous that Flash being stationed in the midwest saves his mom more often. #That Martha Kent wears Flashes hat more often than Clark's to be nice. #I'm annoyed that some of this text is hard to read but I didn't want to lose the details I drew and no amount of storke effect seemed to he

[bamsara]

Finor, the first follower.

#cult of the lamb #cotl oc #finor oc #trod au #the rehabilitation of death #the lamb doesn't remember what their mom looks like but it's finor they think of when they say the word #doodles #tw blood #comic #do yall see the ch/ca f/naf reference lksdhglkshgd

[voltrohgodwhat]

Context:

#NO #mom no #ily but NO #oh no #this was not the first or last time I was grilled about what I am writing and I have to come up with something different every time #“Oh you know. Stuff.” #a tragedy #a literal tragedy #horror you wouldn't like it #it's not finished #a space opera???? #disappointing my family goals #I cannot explain to her that my current life purpose is just inflicting sadness and pain but for just one dude who isn't even mine #she would be sad #vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender #writing #although the coffee table book would indeed be mine

[andy-dandy]

love seeing the beginnings of perseus "pay your fucking child support" jackson's crusade against the gods' parental negligence problem in ep 1 & 2 of the pjo show. the absolute KING of "my daddy gave me issues so HE'S about to HAVE issues"

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson tv show #pjo series #i love his faceoff against mr d #'the FATE of the WORLD is at stake!' #'ok AND?' #percy is TRYING to refuse the call but the call KNOWS WHERE HE LIVES (and kidnapped his mom) #'i'm the son of SALLY JACKSON' what an icon

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I woke up and apparently the moon was gonna hit the earth, but everyone was like, really chill about it.

I talked to my mom and she said: “Yeah, the moon will hit the earth in about three months, you still have time to say goodbye to the people who you care about." 

I was like "damn”, and then I said: “How do you guys knew before me?” And my mom said: “Its because we watch the news and you don´t.”

#dream #text #March 30th 2024 #apocalypse tw #end of the world #death tw #mom #family #catastrophe #mother #queueueueueueueueueueueueueue

[daisywords]

One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.

Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.

It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?

Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.

#idk what to tag this #worldbuilding #writing fiction #historical fiction #fantasy #a real-life example: my dad (a pediatrician) was once entrusted with the care of a baby who was born with a rare condition #this was in a place without great hospital/medical access and anyway they were going to fly the baby over #and he specifically asked them to bring the mother and baby #they show up with baby and...the baby's uncle #and he was like. y'all. do you think I asked for the mom to come just for fun??? We don't have formula here. what is the baby going to eat?

[daisychainsandbowties]

super curious today about how people feel toward the names they might have been given. apparently i used to ask my mom about my “boy name” several times a week and get really sad i couldn’t have both my given name and that name. being trans this is hilarious to me now so wondering

also curious how this intersects with being trans!! i feel like my fixation with it definitely had a lot to do with that, so idk add in tags? if you feel like being trans makes you more/less curious about it

#poll #you can ignore this but i AM curious #my might-have-been name was darcy 🫠🫠 my mom likes austen #but did she have to wet rag boy code me like that?? #prophetic though i am shit at parties and wet with rain