#Look I am not even this guy's fan. But it has become the norm here to preach ppl about mental health and what not when it comes to your

[cruella1989]

The Tragic Life of Darth Sidious

Why are villains like Darth Vader, Darth Maul, and Kylo Ren considered tragic? Well, the short answer is because they had “tragic” experiences that played into them going down the wrong path (although I think in the case of the latter it’s debatable). But they’re not what I’m going to discuss today, it’s another villain who has an equally sad background, but for some reason is often considered very unsympathetic. That antagonist is none other than the big bad guy, himself, Emperor Palpatine. 

Personally I’ve never understood why so many fans say that it’s “impossible to feel any sympathy for him” and that he has “no redeeming qualities”. I especially don’t understand these type of statements with the fans that pity other villains. I’m talking about bad guys who have killed and hurt many people, some of which have not reformed, others who don’t even have that sad a backstory. Is it because, he’s the guy in charge? To each their own, I guess? 

Anyway, here’s why I view this particular villain a little differently than the norm. (Disclaimer! I am in no way excusing his actions! I know he’s evil, and I’m simply explaining why I think he’s more sympathetic than many other fans do.)

When we first meet Palpatine in the, now Legends, novel Darth Plagueis he is a troubled seventeen year-old, to say the least. There’s also no denying that he’s an egocentric, little jerk right from the start of his initial appearance. It can be hard to see him as anything other than that, especially with some of the things he admits to have done. Those include all kinds of petty crimes and even vehicular man-slaughter! How are you supposed to feel bad for somebody like that? I’d say the first thing you need to do is look at what caused him to become that way.

I think a lot people either ignore or miss a few very important clues when reading the novel that strongly states he was abused by his father and came from a very dysfunctional home. For example, they tend to take his father buying him out of trouble with the law as a sign that he’s a spoiled brat. Of course, that action does send the message to youth that they are above the law no matter the intent. But the book states that the patriarch of the Palpatine home is doing that because he wants no ‘stain’ on the family name, not out of some kind of mislead love for his troubled son. On top of that, the book makes it clear that his father, Cosinga, was a terrible man that did awful things to the family and all sorts of illegal acts. In fact it’s stated that he committed fraud, made bribes, hired hit men, had multiple mistresses, and intimidated his wife and children into being subservient to him.

“Palpatine forced a laugh. “Only because she espouses no views of her own; only because he has made her subservient to him—as he has my well-behaved brothers and sisters, who treat me like an interloper and yet, to my father, represent all I can never be.”

“Plagueis had no need to delve any further into whatever traumas had given rise to Palpatine’s cunning, secretive nature.”

“Cosinga flung his words with cruel abandon, “It will be so good to have you gone.”

Being raise by someone like that in that kind of environment is really going to mess a kid up, especially if said youth already has violent tendencies. All children need some sort moral guidance, but when a child has a bad temper they particularly need help learning how to controlling it. I think it’s pretty safe to say that young Palpatine was getting much the opposite of what he needed in his childhood home.

“…his father, who shared with his son a penchant for violence,…”

“Sidious took a moment to respond. It was odd to think now that he had once known fear... But as a child, he’d experienced fear as a conditioned response to threat. Despite a reassuring voice inside him that had promised no harm could come, there had been, for a time, a chance that something terrible could happen. More than once his father’s raised hand had made him cringe.”

But, what about him killing his own family before he even became a Sith apprentice? Okay, there’s a difference between premeditated murder and self defense. Palpatine’s dad had just said he wanted to kill him, and in response the boy unleashed a force-storm on him. It was obviously result of a bunch of fear, anger and force power that had been bottled up inside of him. The author makes it plain that he doesn’t know what he’s doing and that he’s even scared of his own power. Heck, Palpatine even tells his mother to stay away from him while this mess in going on. Please, keep in mind he’s only seventeen, has had no force training, and his father just said he wanted him dead.

Also, do not forget that Hego Damask, (aka Plagueis) who was likely Palpatine’s only friend, had goaded him on about killing his father only a few days earlier, when the boy stated that he wanted be free of his family. Yes, he tells the impressionable teenager a story about how he ‘did away’ with his own family, when they were in the way of his own desires. He even admits it after the event is over. 

This particular act by Damask obviously left a big impression on Palpatine and angered him even decades later. This is shown when Sidious brings it up right before killing Plagueis and becoming Sith Master.

{“Hated you more than you know,” Cosinga said, allowing his ire to rise once more. “Enough to want to kill you from the start.”

Palpatine stood his ground. “Then you had better do it now.”

Cosinga took a step in Palpatine’s direction…}

“Palpatine stood rooted in place, his hands trembling in front of him and his face stricken. Something stirred behind his incandescent eyes. He heard the pounding on the hatch and whirled. “Don’t come in! Stay away from me!”

“It was Hego Damask as Plagueis who then set his sights on a seemingly confused young man and, with meticulous skill, manipulated him into committing patricide, matricide, and fratricide.”

Another argument I see being made against young Palpatine has to due with a few insults he and his father throw at each right before the latter’s death. I’ve heard many fans claims that these quotes prove that he was “born evil” or “it’s meant to symbolize the devil”.

{“…You are an animal heart.”

“King of Beasts, Father,” Palpatine said.}

“I knew this day would come. I’ve known it since the first moment I tried to swaddle you, and you fought me with strength that was too powerful for your size and age.”

Okay, to start with his abusive father calling him ‘an animal’ doesn’t mean that he behaved in a sadistic way his entire life. I know that that’s popular belief when in comes to that line, but it is not true. Remember, this is the guy who made most of his family subservient to him. So why wouldn’t he call his rebellious eldest son, a name like that? If the insult did have any meaning to it (beyond just being mean) likely he’s referring to the boy’s bad temper and his trouble with the law. And second Palpatine’s response is more than likely a claim that he’s stronger than his father, not confirming that he’s ‘demonic’ or whatever.

 Also, baby Palpatine being strong and more powerful than the average infant does not prove that he was born evil, or was some kind of demon baby. It only confirms that he was strong in the force from infancy. And guess what? Babies fight all the time.

So, did the troubles stop once the dysfunctional family was gone? Not exactly. After witnessing Palpatine’s strength in the force and hearing the boy admit that his true desire was to be powerful, Plagueis decided to offer him an apprenticeship. Damask revealed that he was a Sith Lord, and told Palpatine that if he swore his allegiance to the order, then he could obtain great power. 

He, of course, took the offer as he did crave power, and there was a promise of it. Was it the right path to take? No. Did he join for selfish reasons, like the promised strength and authority. Of course, why else would he? But, that doesn’t change the fact that he was put through a lot brutal physical, mental and emotional tests while going through Sith training. 

I’d also like to add, that unbeknownst to the his new pupil, the Sith Master had other plans to use the boy as a way of obtaining power for himself. This basically involve getting Palpatine elected Chancellor, (since a human stood a better chance than a Muun) and using Sidious as a ‘puppet’ while he called the shots. So Plagueis was not innocent here, by any means.

"He admits it! And who better than a human to wear the mask of power while an immortal Sith Lord rules in secret!" 

{“Now tell me again, Apprentice, and in greater detail.”

Once more Sidious allowed his memories to unfold, and he relived the crime— the event as he had come to think of it. His father’s limp and bloody body, the smashed skulls of the bodyguards, his hands around his mother’s slender throat—but not really, only in his mind—strangling her with his thoughts, the lifeless forms of his siblings, slumped here and there. In telling it and telling it, in reliving it, he had finally gained a kind of authority over it; the ability to see the event merely for what it was, without emotion, without judgement. It was as if the event had occurred years, rather the months, earlier.}

“…You want strangle me like you did you’re poor, misunderstood mother, tear me limb from limb like you did the bodyguards. Fair enough. But to do so you will have to make a greater effort, Apprentice.”

Clawing his way across the tundra, his body rashed with lightsaber burns, Sidious looked up at Plagueis imploringly, “H-how much longer…Master?” 

The final dispute that I tend to hear made against him is that he was “tricking” his master, Plagueis, the whole time they worked together. Personally, I never saw that. Much of the dialog, his internal thoughts and the situations that he was in during the Sith training made it pretty clear Sidious was not the one in control. 

Now it is true that Palpatine does start tricking him later, as he gains more desire for power, and wants to kill Plagueis and become the Sith Master. It starts off subtlety but you can tell when he starts loosing respect for Plagueis and wondering when he will be the one in charge. I’m not saying that it didn’t start before that, but I just have a hard time imagining the young Sidious “clouding” his master’s mind the entire time, without any previous training.

I’d also like to point out that despite popular belief, it’s actually never stated that he was tricking him the whole time, not even during his villainous rant at the end. What Palpatine actually says is that he never intended to share the power. And okay even if he had somehow been “clouding” Plagueis’ mind (despite having no force training) during the entire apprenticeship, what do you expect out some one who was raised in a dysfunctional home until age seventeen and was then taken in by a mass murderer? 

“You lost the game on the very first day you chose to train me to rule by your side—or better still under your thumb!”

“The truth is, I haven’t changed. As we have clouded the minds of the Jedi, I clouded your’s. Never once did I have any intention of sharing power with you.”

Now, I’m sure that people are going to claim that, unlike many other Star Wars villains, he still as no redeeming qualities. Of course, having no positive qualities makes it much harder to view him in any sort of positive light or feel pity for him. At least it would be if that were true. Especially in Legends timeline, there are several glimpses of humanity that we see from him. These are mostly shown by some attempts to help and in hints that he cares about his apprentices in his own twisted way.

“…that the force was strong in the infant was reason enough not to let it wonder around unprotected, and perhaps fall in the hands of the Jedi.”

“There is a moment—just one moment,” McDiarmid remembers, “It’s after Anakin’s been almost destroyed and he’s got little life in him. Palpatine has sent for a medical team and he’s waiting for them to arrive—and he just gently touches Anakin’s forehead. Sidious doesn’t have any qualities we normally associate with humanity, except he does have a master-servant relationship with Anakin. Anakin means something to him.” 

The Making of Star Wars: Episode III- The Revenge of the Sith 

J.W. Rinzler 

I hope that you enjoyed this article and that it has clarified things, and maybe helped you see him in a bit of a different light.  

#palpatine #star wars #villain #bad guys #sympathy #tragic #darth sidious #darth plagueis #sith #backstory #antagonist

[thevindicativevordan]

Comics this week?

Action Comics #1053 - Finally found a Metallo design that I like! Way Sandoval has the remnants of his skin clinging to his metal frame makes him look like one of the Flayed Necrons from Warhammer 40k, and I love it! With Lex shifting towards trying to "help" Clark, it's good to have another villain who does terrible acts and holds Superman responsible for them. Metallo turns a bunch of Blue Earthers into cyborg zombies? It's all Superman's fault! And I am a fan of Corben's path to villainy starting when he first encounters a gun, and now he's become a gun himself. But the real intriguing point for me this issue was Kon, Kenan, and Otho. Kon and Kenan express reservations about saving one of Metallo's minions. Clark advocates compassion for all, but those two clearly have doubts. Then at the end we have Otho seemingly attacking the Blue Earthers. Three members of the Superfamily are already chafing under Clark's authority. I'm excited to see how Clark handles members of his Family not being totally aligned with his approach and outlook. If PKJ is building up to a revolt within the Family, I can't wait to see the fallout of that!

Stargirl #5 - Weakest issue of the run, too much exposition for me. It's a mini Johns, you don't need to treat every issue like it's someone's first and do a big info dump. Sue me though, I like Boom and I am interested in how she is going to fit into the JSA. Anyone want to place bets that Hourman is recruiting sidekicks for a crisis in the future that will also tie into the War of the Four Legions I expect Johns to announce on Friday at Megacon?

Unstoppable Doom Patrol #5 - Good start! Has enough of the DP patented weirdness to *feel* like the DP, while also being recognizable as something set in the mainline DCU. Never could buy the Way/Derington run as set on the same Earth as the mainline capes, but this I can. Beast Girl is cute and Degenerate might prove entertaining if Cliff is around to keep him in check. Degenerate's attempt to act tough bouncing right off of Cliff's blasé attitude was funny. And really even if the writing had been bad, the Burnham art alone is worth the price. Seems like we're finally going to see Malluh move on from Brain and do his own thing with Immortus.

Detective Comics #1070 - One of Ram's weaker issues. Enjoyed the analysis of the nature of Gotham and the Vigil poking their heads in, but at this point "what if YOU'RE the real villain Batman?" is not a hard hitting or particularly gripping question.

Gotham City: Year One #6 - Best "Batman without Batman comic" since Gotham Central ended. All the same I would prefer this stay out of continuity, not really a fan of how King all but says Slam is the true father of Thomas Wayne. I don't like when they try to make Bruce into someone with oppressed minority heritage. I like that it's the story of a WASP billionaire who beats the shit out of criminals. Trying to smooth out his edges so he can be Twitter and Tumblr's "unproblematic fave"? Nah fuck that, Batman's at his best when he's a character that makes you uncomfortable and unsure if he can overcome the unsettling parts of who he is.

Waller vs. Wildstorm #1 - Not a Wildstorm guy so I have no clue who Battalion is or what's his deal beyond what the issue shares, but I love Lois here. We get to see rookie Lois who has doubts and fears, it's a different take on her from the norm which I enjoy. Also dig the Cold War setting, that period between the JSA going away and the new age of superheroes that Superman kicks off is prime setting for stories about civilians and non-cape metas.

Blue Beetle: Graduation Day #5 - Not really sure what the conflict with Horizon would even be at this point. They sent Beetles because they feared the Reach taking over Earth, Jaime has shown the other Beetles he's not a threat, unless the Horizon are bad guys after all, what's left to do?

Invincible Iron Man #4 - Good issue but... I don't buy this "rivalry" between Fei Long and Tony at all. Long comes across as a total poser and try hard that Tony takes apart with ease. The Mandarin or Justin Hammer this guy is not, even gets called out on how he's just rehashing old clichés. Doesn't come across as arch nemesis material, nor does he even really have a compelling reason to be feuding with Tony.

Sabretooth & The Exiles #5 - Didn't end anywhere near as strongly as it began, but I respect how it made no compromises about what a piece of shit Sabretooth is.

Planet Hulk: Worldbreaker #5 - Had high hopes for this mini but it sadly ended up being yet another example of why creators who have done seminal work before on a character shouldn't return.

#weekly reviews

[maxemilianverstappen]

The lengths people are going to defend Mercedes against the Bottas criticism as if it was only a matter of exclusively just one race that they fucked him over... Yeah, Lewis was put at a disadvantage here, but what has been happening since forever then? Interesting when you guys realized you can't pin every shit on Valtteri, you okay the card "But Lewis was screwed over, too..." card as if it balances out the situation or what? Maybe it is for this race, but what about the others where Val is always the one getting screwed? Oh, as long as Lewis won there was no problem, right?

This reminds me 2019/20 Charles/Sebastian situation. It is similar, the antagonism will get there but you'll only see the tip of the iceberg as Merc aren't fools like Rari, but as usual since Val isn't handsome or a daddy 😬 it is completely ignorable.

#Look I am not even this guy's fan. But it has become the norm here to preach ppl about mental health and what not when it comes to your #favs only to turn around and shit on other people... One doesn't need to be a fan to see this much BS at play

[isekaithatplease]

The Classism, Sexism, and Mishandling of Slavery theme of the Remarried Empress ((pt 1. of why I might divorce the remarried empress series)) WARNING: SOME SPOILERS INSIDE

Note: this story/review was written by someone from the western hemisphere, so yes I am well aware that cultural differences is most likely a definite factor in this. However, this is my opinion on how this series kinda rubs me the wrong way. I will admit that I am behind on the series, and some of the info I got was from spoilers so it might be outdated, as I stopped at episode 85 on webtoons, and read some spoilers, if this is the case, I am prepared to address what I’ve said in a new post ( a reblog of this) to make things more fair.

Ok so I’m gonna do a super quick introduction because anyone, who’s anybody knows the basic premise of one of, if not the most popular manhwas next to WMMAP. It’s a manhwa that essentially has dominated on webtoon, ruled on insta and I think is even set to have it’s own movie/kdrama eventually come out.

Yours truly, was a fan of this series, especially when I got caught up in the tales of hype, and complexity of the story/spoilers, and the beauty of the novel. Like I genuinely liked this series, as the premise was easy to follow, it almost seemed like it was written from a sympathetic villainess’s pov and it just made me a fan, until I wasn’t.

The tales of Navier being an awesome strong female lead in the face of walking dung and his mistress Rashta (affectionately known by fans as Trashta- which hold on I will address that in this) was pretty good at first, until I sat down and actually thought about this series. Now I know you’ll say- hey, hey, hey, this is a manhwa (technically not isekai) why are you actually putting deep thought into this? And I’ll say, well, I have this rule when it comes to fiction.

I (the reader) will only take a series as serious, as the series takes itself. So to elaborate, this means I’m not going to sit down and waste time telling you how certain series does things on a broader or more indepth scale if it’s clearly here for a good time. No, this means that if a story wants me to take it seriously, then, um yeah I am going to do so.

Now, coming back to this series, I’m going to get straight to the point, that might upset some people, because I know there’s probably a lot of cultural differences between the writer of this story, and readers who are located on the western hemisphere, like me. 

But- with all due respect.

Something about this story does NOT sit right with my spirit,

 and it’s mainly the classist narration/the dealing with slavery, with pinches of sexism here and there, but let’s start with the classism.

 This story feels like it’s essentially punching DOWN, like it’s telling the lower class to know it’s place, some were born to rule, others merely to serve/follow orders, and punishing the one person, Rashta, who albeit unethically and under bad circumstances, tries to create a better life for herself by somewhat breaking the social norms by climbing up, terribly. I’m not justifying what Rashta has done, nor am I condoning it, but the complete lack of empathy in the narration of a story that is praised for being complex is....well....disturbing. 

In fact, if I have to be honest with you, I feel nothing but apathy vibes from the tone/way this story was written. There’s a distinct lack of empathy when it comes to the suffering of others, particularly women not named NAVIER, that I think needs to be discussed more, especially when people want to push this series as something that promotes a strong fl, because I think it pushes a strong/independent fl at the expense of some other female characters (don’t believe me- just look at how the fandom so readily vilifies a female character who gets in Navier’s way,). 

Guys like Sovieshu and Heinrey are allowed to have explicitly outlined sympathetic aspects to them, whereas the women’s pov is far more subtle, before they inevitably end up doing something terrible (I’m talking about Rashta and Heinrey’s sister in law). All do terrible things, but I feel more inclined to say that the women who become antagonists in this story are more victims than the guys who willingly perpretate the acts, yet aren’t allowed the same leeway/understanding from the narrative. Get the picture?

Let’s start with the topic of cultural differences, now shall we?

PT 1. The Slavery Discussion and Rashta:

Slavery is no stranger to being apart of isekai, in a lot of stories it’s either added as a footnote to help worldbuilding in a fairly negative way, or it acts as some sort of trauma for the mcs to portray them in a more sympathetic light. But in this story, it’s handled so...strangely. Slavery is very much traumatizing, no matter in which media it is presented, or the purpose/form. The after effects/trauma of slavery is massively understated, and I for one think it should be treated with respect when it comes to playing a major role in a story like this.

The fact that Rashta was a slave who was abused and mistreated is seemingly glossed over a LOT- it is most likely the reason why she is, the way she is. She’s so naïve/willing to go along with Sovieshu’s schemes because she spent her entire life up to that point being treated worse than dirt, and now has to deal with living in constant fear of having to return to that life. She probably doesn’t genuinely know any better, as no one was there to teach her right and wrong, or guide her. That cycle of trauma and abuse is so hard to break, and probably even impossible, given the settings/position she’s in. 

 So she’s unable to protect herself from the schemes of those who’ve been born into the game of politics and power and are coming for her blood in order to exploit her, yet the story tries to play it off as...making her kind of selfish, and evil. 

It’s almost like writing Cinderella or maybe just any slave girl (a girl who spent her life as a slave up until she got married) as some sort of pawn, without any sort of empathy/sympathy for the character from the narrative...could you imagine how heartbreaking that would be? This is pure exploitation, yet it never feels like it’s called out in a long-lasting/meaningful way for you to sympathize with Rashta, or offer the character any sort of leeway/complexity (save for the end when she’s about to be executed but even then it’s too little too late) nah it feels almost like the story is telling you that this is what Rashta deserves, she’s just another cog in the wheel for the haves to use. 

I’m not saying that Rashta is completely innocent in all of this, because yes I will admit, that Rashta is a terrible person, who’s done bad things (albeit some under the bad influence of Heinrey’s friend, and others was just because of her, she’s really not a good person, at ALL)- BUT, she’s ruining others because her life was ruined, it’s probably her way of punching UP, of securing herself in a society that clearly does not want the poor to advance/better themselves. Which as bad as it sounds, isn’t completely inexcusable, given how cutthroat the story likes to play it’s politics as. ((Like look at Navier and how she’s always thinking politically, you could probably try to sell her girl scout cookies, and she’d suspect you of espionage or something))

Even in this elevated position, we see that Sovieshu doesn’t even see Rashta as a person of her own, she’s just...a plaything to him, something he’s using because he feels like Navier isn’t giving him the love he deserves. ((I’ll touch on Navier next part)). The Rashta around him depicts herself as stupid, cute and playful, because she knows that’s what he wants her to be, and there’s high possibility that the moment that he finds out that she’s not that (she’s actually a lot smarter than he thinks), he could very easily dispose of her. That brings me to the worst part of their whole relationship which a lot of fans, and Navier herself seems to miss- the unequal power dynamic-

 The worst part is that he disposes of her, at the end, when it really should’ve been his head on a pike, but alas, she dies and the story doesn’t care because at this point it’s almost like it’s done more to explicitly tell you how terrible she is, than to make you somewhat sympathize with her. ((Keep in mind I’m not saying Navier had to accept Rashta with open arms from day 1, but Navier should’ve 1000% been suspecting foul play in more places than she did. I mean someone who was at most a mistress (coming from slavery, where she was uneducated) was pulling all of these political power moves like Rastha was, should’ve raised some flags for Navier, but eh, whatever I guess. Sovieshu doesn’t really seem to get the punishment he deserves.

Let’s not forget that Rashta can’t exactly say no to Sovieshu’s advances (dude’s the emperor who could have her beheaded for breathing out of her mouth wrong) and like I said before, is literally being manipulated by Heinrey’s friend. It’s sad because I know this story will probably gloss over it (I kinda know the spoilers where he ends up taking away her kids in the end after she’s executed, which is kinda good because at least her children aren’t orphans, but once again it’s just exploitation. Exploitation of a naive women by powerful men- seeing the theme here? Sovieshu uses her against Naiver, and Heinrey’s friend uses her against them both...almost feels like her main purpose is just to be a tool for others (most noticeably MEN) while having no agency of her own...))

You can say that maybe I’m overreacting about this, but like I said before the story likes to take it’s politics/characterization seriously, and I have no doubt that if Navier was a slave- we’d be exploring every traumatic aspect/long term effect of slavery. Everything Navier would be doing would be constantly sympathized with, because the story would recognize that she was a slave, and the cycle of abuse/trauma she’s faced it’s hard to break. Yet the story continually lacks that empathy for most of the female characters, in fact, the story seemingly gets a kick out of pitting women AGAINST each other. Because at the very least the fans do (I need to talk about Heinrey’s sister-in-law, remind me to talk about her for the next part).

 You can argue well it’s just the times, so strong women really shouldn’t be working together, but then I’d say- um, no. If this story wants me to suspend enough belief that magic exists, Navier feels no remorse about breaking social standards (and being able to get away with it too) while being the main ruling force of the empire behind the scenes, with some fairly outspoken female characters- then I could totally buy the strong women working together, even in unconvential means. In fact, it’s kinda frustrating that Rashta spends the whole story getting manipulated by powerful men for their own means and she never wakes up/develops from it. Hmmm, that’s kinda...suspicious to me...

Honestly-

The fact that magic exists in this world, but Slavery is still around is just....wow, sure it’s a form to punish you for not paying off debts- but I fail to see how that works, when Rashta’s debt ridden father was able to get away from it by selling off someone else, it’s a blatant loophole that even the poorest of the poor can escape, with little consequence. What’s the point of having that system if it apparently doesn’t even work right? I think it’s almost too severe, and stupid given how many loopholes the story glosses over.

Maybe Navier isn’t that kind of an empress, why exactly has she never pushed for the elimination of slavery/increase of human rights? We know that she’s the one who’s wearing the real political pants in her empire, and the administration seems to be fine with this, as we never hear them complain. Also we’ve seen her gladly sponsor someone from the magic school, which was, a fairly expensive school, and I think the girl was from a fairly good background, unless I’m mistaken, maybe she was poor, but she had to be exceptionally good to get it. ((I’m choking on the classism here)). So it’s not like she’s going out of her way to benefit the massive underprivileged class of her empire, I kinda wonder if she knows they exist (save for the time they kind of rightfully grill her for running off to go marry the prince of the enemy empire, which sure she had her reasons for it, but I doubt the peasants would know/care about the full story, not when they have slavery and God knows what else dark ages problems to deal with).

Navier’s face when she hears the lower class cry for food. They should’ve thought about that before they became peasants!

You could also argue that this slavery isn’t exactly similar to the form of slavery in the west (which I would answer that there were other forms of slavery before the one that notoriously evolved in the western hemisphere, that were still socially degrading)- but once again, like I’m saying, if you’re going to base something off of a thing that has had traumatic/degrading long term effects socially, you should treat it with respect or don’t write it at all. I feel like there was either a blatant lack of research, or care when it was written into Rashta, which honestly would’ve been ‘fine’, if the story didn’t really try to antagonize a traumatized character while it later on tried to paint the narcissistic sexist Soviedung as complex, or sympathetic. Heck, I’m pretty sure the story is going to try to make Heinrey somewhat complex/sympathetic for trying to sabotage the empire while Navier was trying to run it! Yet Rashta doesn’t get a pass until it’s too late....

It’s like the story hates the underprivileged, which, is actually kinda funny to me.

If a westerner had tried to write something like this, it would be rightfully called out. So I’m not making any full exceptions here. You can argue that yeah cultural difference here is one thing, and I’ll say, alright, fine, fair. But then I’ll say, doesn’t it seem sexist to you that at the end the female character is seemingly more villainified/suffers more than the male character (who keep in mind is the main perpetrator) yet the story never seems self aware to call this out? So at best it’s probably just innocent ignorance, and at worst it’s just kinda sexist.

Protecting the women who you’ve been low key politically sabotaging so you can take over her empire be like:

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that slavery shouldn’t/can’t be used in fiction, but the way how the series fails to empathize with an obviously traumatized person from slavery but painting her the way it does, is just....wrong...

ESPECIALLY because the story literally tries to become a contortionist in order to make Sovieshu more sympathetic the last second. Why does Sovieshu get to have something of a redemption arc/sympathy when Rashta doesn’t??? It’s giving me classist, and low key sexist. 

#remarried empress #navier #heinrey #sovieshu #rashta

[evilmortys]

okay,  so,  here  are  my  thoughts  on  the  finale,

i’m  gonna  start  with  the  things  i  didn’t  like,  just  because  of  who  i  am  as  a  person!  my  feelings  are  mixed,  but...  looks  lovingly  at  evil  morty.  he  truly  was  the  only  exception  as  usual  ♥

i’m  not  going  to  lie,  this  whole  thing  felt.  rushed.  although  some  of  rick’s  meta  commentary  about  not  touching  citadel  shit  because  it  was  canon  and  he  and  morty  were  supposed  to  be  going  back  to  lighthearted  one  off  adventures,  and  “the  second  he  reveals  that  he’s  evil,  we’re  out”  made  me  laugh,  it  also  felt  very  disingenuous  and  ham-fisted.  having  him  do  all  these  fourth  wall  breaks  honestly  took  away  from  the  impact  of  what  this  episode  could  have  been,  but  whatever.  

i  just  got  the  vibe  that  they  wanted  everyone  to  stfu  about  the  citadel  and  evil  morty,  so  they  quickly  stuck  together  this  episode  that  dealt  with  fans’  demand  in  one  fell  swoop  so  they  could  move  on  from  the  existence  of  both  plotlines.  i  honestly  thought  it  was  a  bit  wasteful  since  tales  from  the  citadel  resonated  with  a  lot  of  fans  and  it  was  an  interesting  bit  of  worldbuilding  with  compelling  narratives  going  on.

you  already  all  likely  know  how  irritated  i  am  with  morty’s  character  degrading  so  much  once  again.  this  entire  season  has  been  building  him  up  to  becoming  so  much  more  capable,  only  to  wrench  it  away  from  him  again  by  instead  having  his  co-dependency  with  rick  ramped  up  to  the  point  it  was  literally  out  of  character.  this  has  come  out  of  nowhere.  at  no  point  in  the  show’s  entire  run  has  morty  ever  been  this  needy  with  rick.  

again,  i  feel  like  this  may  have  been  written  around  what  eventually  ended  up  happening  at  the  citadel,  with  the  revelation  that  mortys  are  ‘bred  for  forgiveness.’  it  would  have  been  far  more  compelling  for  our  morty  to  have  continued  to  go  down  the  path  of  being  decidedly  unforgiving  of  rick’s  bullshit,  thereby  making  him  deviate  from  the  norm  in  a  similar  way  to  evil  morty  himself  and  implicating  that  the  cycle  of  a  morty  going  to  these  extremes  is  going  to  be  repeated  once  again.

rick  did  not  deserve  or  earn  voicing  the  recognition  that  his  dynamic  with  morty  was  toxic,  and  abusive.  are  you  fucking  kidding  me?  the  smartest  man  in  the  universe  only  JUST  clocked  onto  that?  bullshit!  he’s  known  all  along,  and  he’s  been  using  it  for  his  own  gain!  he  doesn’t  get  to  just  say  it  with  that  regretful  voice  as  if  he’s  been  clueless  /  oblivious  to  it  this  entire  time.  they  just  wanted  the  audience  to  feel  sympathetic  for  him  by  throwing  in  this  tidbit  and  a  tragic  backstory,  as  if  that  even  sort  of  makes  up  for  everything  he’s  put  his  family  through.  

abandoning  the  people  you’ve  hurt  is  ALSO  abusive  and  toxic  behaviour!  he’s  done  it  time  and  time  again!  how  is  acknowledging  the  fact  that  you  hurt  people,  that  you  hurt  your  family,  the  people  that  love  you  despite  the  fact  you  objectively  don’t  deserve  it,  then  ditching  them  once  again  instead  of  staying  with  them  and  improving  as  a  person  and  helping  everyone  heal  from  what  you’ve  put  them  through,  ANY  BETTER??  he  never  changes!!

i  also  couldn’t  really  process  the  fact  that  rick  just  handed  morty  his  portal  gun  like  it  was  nothing--  i  feel  like  him  topping  it  off  and  using  it  behind  rick’s  back  should  have  been  a  bigger  deal  than  what  it  was.  also,  morty  would  not  break  a  guy  out  of  a  mental  asylum  without  a  second  thought.  he  simply  wouldn’t  do  that.

we’ve  fallen  right  back  into  the  status  quo  of  morty  being  stupid  and  rick  being  the  smartest  one  in  the  room  who  always  knows  what’s  going  on,  even  when  he  actually  shouldn’t  for  the  sake  of  a  few  meta  jokes.  which  is  more  annoying  than  i  can  put  into  words  tbqh

obviously  i  hated  all  the  parallels  they  were  attempting  to  make  between  rick  and  morty  having  a  romantic  relationship  and  “breaking  up.”  never  has  morty  behaved  so  uncharacteristically  in  any  other  episode  of  the  show.  it  honestly  felt  disrespectful  to  all  the  growth  he’s  had  as  a  character  to  reduce  him  to  something  so  pathetic.

i  guess  this  is  less  of  a  thing  i  disliked,  and  more  of  a  commentary  on  rick’s  character?  but  once  again,  his  hypocrisy  really  leapt  out  at  me  once  it  was  revealed  that  he  always  has  a  hand  in  bringing  together  beths  and  jerrys  in  order  to  ensure  that  more  mortys  will  end  up  in  the  multiverse.  i  find  it  unbelievably  sad  that  he’ll  willingly  ensnare  the  two  of  them  in  the  throes  of  a  relationship  that  he  knows  is  likely  to  become  toxic  and  cause  the  both  of  them  to  be  miserable  throughout  their  time  together;  they’re  rarely  happy  /  compatible  together  and  always  end  up  sticking  it  out  for  the  kids.  it  also  makes  his  constant  shitting  on  jerry  even  more  egregious  and  almost  serves  to  call  his  love  for  his  daughter  into  question  for  me.  he’s  using  her  as  a  means  to  his  own  ends  by  manipulating  situations  so  she’ll  meet  jerry  and  they’ll  likely  end  up  together.  

don’t  get  me  wrong,  i  actually  really  loved  the  fact  he  had  a  hand  in  founding  the  citadel  he  now  loathes  so  much,  and  i  think  the  constant  creation  of  mortys  as  grandsons  ‘bred  to  forgive’  ricks  is  so  fucked  up  and  awful  in  the  most  intriguing  way.  it’s  akin  to  him  fiddling  with  the  concept  of  keeping  mortys  in  constant  pain  to  cloak  his  comings  and  goings  around  the  multiverse  (on  paper,  morty,  on  paper!),  except  this  time  he  did  it  in  reality.

evil  morty.  oh  my  god,  evil  morty.  my  saving  grace.  my  ray  of  light.  i’m  so,  so,  so  pleased  with�� the  way  he  was  handled.  while  i  admit  i  was  looking  forward  to  more  of  a  slow - burn  thing,  getting  a  bit  of  insight  into  his  presidency  and  possibly  exploring  a  dynamic  with  him  and  c-137  (we’ll  get  to  that)...  i  honestly  still  really  loved  what  ended  up  happening  with  him,  even  though  i  still  believe  on  some  level  that  they  just  wanted  to  tie  up  his  narrative  thread  so  fans  wouldn’t  remain  fixated  on  him.

of  course  he  did.  of  course  that  motherfucker  rick  created  a  boundary  within  the  infinite  multiverse  that  ensured  he’d  always  be  the  smartest  man  within  it  as  far  as  mortys  and  other  people  in  his  life  were  concerned.  i’ve  always  found  it  odd  that  such  universes  were  never  brought  up  even  in  passing;  the  nature  of  infinite  possibilities  always  dictated  that  someone  smarter  than  him  must  exist  out  there,  and  that  worlds  existed  where  he  was  nobody  special.

him  being  morally  gray.  i  could  cry.  i  was  clinging  on  to  the  hope  that  it  would  be  shown  he  hates  ricks  more  than  he  looks  down  on  mortys,  and  it  absolutely  was.  while  he  was  okay  with  killing  and  hurting  mortys  to  achieve  his  own  “selfish”  ends,  it’s  clear  that  he’s  unhappy  with  the  cycle  of  abuse  from  their  infinite  grandfathers  that  pushes  him  to  these  extremes,  loathes  the  concept  that  mortys  are  not  supposed  to  defy  their  ricks.  “if  you’ve  ever  been  sick  of  him,  you’ve  been  evil  morty  too.”  he  hates  ricks  FAR  more  than  he  does  mortys,  and  you  can  pry  that  from  my  cold,  dead  hands.  he  believes  mortys  are  beyond  help  because  of  the  way  they  stick  by  rick--  the  fact  they’re  literally  created  with  being  yes-men  for  rick  in  mind.

he  didn’t  seek  to  make  changes  for  the  greater  good  of  other  mortys  within  the  citadel.  i  think  he  understood  on  some  level,  it  was  impossible.  i  think  he  has  this  belief  that  other  mortys  are  part  of  the  problem,  because  they  perpetuate  the  cyclic  dynamic  of  toxicity  and  harm--  they  don’t  move  to  break  free  from  it  the  way  he  does,  and  so  he  feels  no  guilt  leaving  them  behind  while  he  breaks  into  the  aspect  of  the  multiverse  where  rick  has  no  power.  it’s  honestly  heartbreaking  that  he’s  come  to  have  a  mindset  like  that.  

i  think  seeing  c-137  reach  out  to  help  rick  up  once  again  instead  of  accepting  what  i  hope  and  pray  was  a  semi - genuine  offer  to  join  him  as  he  departed  was  just  yet  another  instance  of  him  witnessing  a  morty  doing  the  most  to  save  the  man  who  makes  their  lives  a  living  hell.  if  he  was  truly  unsympathetic,  he’d  have  made  no  such  offer.  if  he  thinks  a  morty  is  capable  of  pulling  away  from  the  hold  ricks  have  on  them,  he  wants  them  out  of  this  shit  just  as  much  as  he  himself  wants  to  break  free  from  it.  i  think  he  has  the  mindset  that  i  know  they  tried  to  play  it  off  with  “haha  the  other  seat’s  a  toilet,”  but  i  don’t  think  that  was  the  case  and  they  were  once  again  just  undermining  the  moment  for  no  good  reason.  SCREAMS!!  don’t  get  me  wrong  what  he  did  WAS  selfish  and  evil.  but  in  a  way  you  can  understand  where  it  derives  from

again,  it  REALLY  irritates  me  they’ve  undone  so  much  of  morty’s  character  just  to  ensure  he  wouldn’t  end  up  taking  evil  morty  up  on  his  proposition.  if  morty  had  retained  even  a  tenth  of  the  character  growth  he’s  been  having  from  late  season  four  until  towards  the  end  of  season  five,  wherein  it  began  to  unravel,  he’d  have  left  rick.  undeniably.

the  yellow  portal.  oh  my  god............

it  made  me  so  fucking  emotional  to  see  that.  he’s  won.  he’s  free.  

#rick and morty #evil morty #okay this isn't even all of them but it will do #alex talks!

[dereksmcgrath]

I had said before that the number 108 can be unlucky. It wasn’t unlucky at all for My Hero Academia: Vigilantes. But 108 is kind of unlucky for this episode: not only are we focusing on the Villains, but we just aren’t giving their story the structure and emotional weight it deserves.

(I either opened with those remarks or just made a bunch of corny jokes about how “Meta Liberation Army” can be abbreviated as MLA--and I’m saving those jokes for a future review.)

“My Villain Academia,” My Hero Academia Episode 108 (Season 5, Episode 20)

An adaptation of Chapters 220, 221, 222, 223, and 224 of the manga, by Kohei Horikoshi, translated by Caleb Cook with lettering by John Hunt and available from Viz.

My Hero Academia is available to stream on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Spoilers up to My Hero Academia Chapter 325.

When I teach literature, I refer to the plot as a problem: it is something that the protagonist is trying to solve. This problem can take various forms, but it is often as an antagonist that the protagonist confronts. When this episode has the Doctor refer to a “villain” as someone “who turns nonsense into action,” that’s kind of the point: the villain is here to get the plot rolling. Without them, you don’t have a hero, you don’t have a story.

It has been long accepted by a lot of fans and scholars that superheroes tend to uphold the status quo. I think the first time I gained awareness of this popular argument--although likely not the first time I encountered it--was Dr. Horrible’s mangled remark that “the status is not quo.” More recently, however, I have been reading academic books on superheroes, and not only does that argument persist--that superheroes represent law, order, and upholding traditional norms even in the face of new evidence or out of sheer obliviousness to the need for systemic change--but the argument has become that, if a superhero story does not have the heroes doing something to effect systemic change, then it’s not a good story. I may be misunderstanding that argument, but if I don’t, then it’s not an argument I can stand behind.

The argument is that superhero stories tend to reduce complex issues to having avatars for each side of the issue--the good guy and the bad guy--get into a fight, where we are focused on the spectacle rather than on seeing actual people engaging in the actual work needed to address problems not on the individual level--again, one good guy physically fighting one bad guy--but on a larger scope.

I am oversimplifying this argument, as even those same scholars will point out that, initially, of course there were superhero stories that had the protagonist taking the fight against the system. Superman is one of the ones named most frequently, whether in his initial comic book premiere doing what police and media would not to face down a corrupt senator (a sign of things to come in his later fights with Luthor and in Justice League Unlimited) or fighting the Klan (in the meta sense, fighting their analogue on the radio show and, more recently, literally in the comics). It kind of makes Superman look like one influence on the Peerless Thief in My Hero Academia, but we’ll get to him far later in these episodic reviews.

Even with that exception of Superman, it’s not hard for me to agree with the argument that heroes prop up the status quo. That has been the plot point for My Hero Academia and why this war against the villains has been incoming: a system that depended on just All Might, now depending on a wife-beating abusive father like Endeavor with his crimes not popularly known, has a level of corruption that cannot stand up with just one man’s shining example of honest goodness and integrity to be the Symbol of Peace. It was why I appreciated the manga eventually showing that, yes, there was an entire network of assassins within the Hero Public Safety Commission to keep All Might’s hands clean--and, in retrospect, while Lady Nagant was our first named example, given what Hawks ends up doing to Twice, deadly force may be frowned upon by law in MHA but has to have been something Hawks was told he had legal authority to do. (Also, as I will never stop pointing out, Endeavor unintentionally and unknowingly killed another Pro Hero in Vigilantes, and we’re just supposed to pretend that was fine.)

But going back to this academic argument, about how superhero stories tend to stick to one-on-one battles and don’t let the heroes effect systematic change, I’m ambivalent. There have been a range of superhero or superhero-adjacent stories that have the protagonist making on-page, on-screen, obvious work to not just get into fisticuffs with the bad guy. I already pointed out Superman’s first appearance and his fight against the Klan. I can also identify other examples, some hamfisted like Captain Planet, others more nuanced like Korra reaching out to Kuvira in The Legend of Korra. While the scholarship I read bristles at the idea of reducing these fights to just avatars for good and evil, I shrug and say that kind of comes with the territory of a superhero story. I hate justifying tropes: it’s like saying “this fanservice is acceptable because that’s part of the genre”--which leads to its own set of problems, especially when I hear fools defending sexualized fanservice that is just not needed for the story and is abusive by gender and representation. Heck, The Brave and the Bold animated series had Equinox and Batman battle as giants representing the avatars of chaos and order--which is confusing enough, with Equinox having a vaguely yin-yang motif that debunks any clean separation between chaos and order. And yet, here I am, arguing that this kind of fanservice of a hero and a villain beating each other up is to be expected: you have a debate about ideals of what a hero should do when you see Iron Man and Captain America each representing a side in a fight, whether the poorly handled comic book Civil War or the better film version, and even then, that film also lets the individual personalities get in the way of saying anything meaningful about government oversight and individual agency, ideas better handled in that other Captain America film, The Winter Soldier, and even then that film also gets stuck in just being about Steve and Bucky’s relationship.

All of this is me saying that, when you add a superhero to the fight, you’re going to feel disappointed that almost nothing systematically changes in its setting, not only because, as I’m hinting, these are stories about individuals fighting each other and not stories about the individual against society or nature, but also because a superhero can only change so much of their world for the better before that world no longer looks like our own or a new societal problem has to emerge to create the problem that is the plot itself for wherever the story goes next. Once a hero makes the setting into a utopia, either a new problem emerges to show the fiction of that story and that a dystopia is always married to a utopia, or the utopia is revealed to be hollow (Shigaraki’s word of the day) and fake. My Hero Academia already showed the utopia of a world where people get to live with their Quirks is fake, not only by (largely necessary) regulation of those Quirks but also, as we’ll see more with Spinner, Compress, Toga, Gigantomachia, and others, looking different, or being socially aware, or having disabilities, or being the “wrong” size, excluded you from that society.

What I’m trying to say is that, once you add superheroes into a story to fix the problem, you can’t show what systematic change looks like. How do you write a story where it makes sense that no hero came to save Tenko Shimura from becoming Tomura Shigaraki? What’s a story like My Hero Academia supposed to do to show the problems with a society, if you have superheroes who can fix those problems by beating up the bad guys?

Solution: You have the bad guys beat each other up.

In this corner, the League of Villains, people who were made outcasts because they did not fit in--which reveals the flaws of a society that is not accepting people who may not be able to change their past or their bodily conditions.

And in this corner, the Meta Liberation Army--which reveals how society breeds people in business, media, and politics who abuse laws and societal norms to elevate themselves and create a social Darwinist nightmare.

Granted, these are some foolish schmucks for starting up this fight in public, but I’ll address how the MLA just doesn’t work in a later episode review.

But for now, let the fight begin. No matter who wins, at least we see how society at large allowed these Villains to emerge--and we can either see All For One’s dictatorial forces get wrecked, or see Re-Destro’s fascistic oafs get wrecked.

Unfortunately, no matter who wins, the Pro Heroes are going to lose, too.

I am overly impressed with myself for realizing all of this. And I say “overly” not only because this is arrogant of me but also because I’m pretty sure just about every other person following this series already came to this conclusion: if you want to show actual systematic change, you have to show what the villains are up to, because they are the ones showing the holes in our society that need to be fixed. Either a villain exploits those holes to cause damage to people, or the villain is themselves representative of unfairness in the system and, by breaking the law to save themselves and others, are unfairly maligned as villains.

That being said, I’m not a big fan of the “[Insert villain’s name here] was right” arguments. Yes, Magneto is justified in his goals and ethics, and the debate is the means he takes to them, so his existence is to show why the X-Men are screwing up and need to be more radical. Yes, Killmonger is right that Wakanda’s isolationism is reckless and allows for travesties to persist, but his choices are largely out of individual desire for vengeance, so he’s an example that T’Challa can follow. Taken too far, though, and you get people who preach anti-establishment notions without having an alternative or are just trying to sound edgy rather than actually pointing to the actual problem: it’s someone who celebrates the Joker without recognizing that, no, you don’t want to be that asshole, or who celebrate villain-turned-hero Vegeta just because he looks cool and without appreciating what steps he took to change and what fall he experienced before he got to the point of being a villain.

In all these cases, if done poorly, you have the same tired trend of a villain existing only so long so that the hero changes for the better. It’s as tiresome as I unfortunately sometimes feel reading post after post celebrating how complex and sympathetic the League of Villains’ members can be when, still, a lot of them are just assholes using empty excuses to defend atrocious behavior (primarily, just All for One) or, for the most part, are people put into desperate situations (Shigaraki, Toga, Spinner, Dabi, Twice) who are doing the best they can (Twice, Spinner) even if their actions are not defensible (Toga) or also out of line (Shigaraki) due to their own refusal to seek the legitimate help they need to work through their issues (Dabi).

It’s hard to read posts online calling the League members sympathetic when we have not had a chance in the anime to know their full story. And as with the slow revelation that this setting is not really as welcoming of people of all shapes and sizes as initially hinted, so too do the villains’ backstories show that they were justified in some actions they took, except for those that led to deaths. Too bad none of that really pops up in a meaningful way in this episode that would rather tease out Shigaraki’s back story, keep dangling the obvious answer to who Dabi really is, and short-sells what should be a meaningful friendship between Twice and Giran but is just dropped as fast as Shigaraki takes off Twice’s mask. Jeez, Shigaraki, that is a dick move to Twice…

But I’m already on Page 4 of this rant, so let’s get to the episode already.

Pulling back the curtain yet again, these reviews tend to follow a pattern. Since I first wrote about the MHA anime, my process would be to first re-read the chapters, then watch the episode in Japanese, then watch the episode in English, so as to retrace my steps in how I first encountered most of these stories, as well as to see any patterns in the production process moving from manga to anime to localization. But with this episode, that practice was made nearly impossible given how prevalent the hostility towards this episode, this arc, and this season have been, especially when a friend shared numerous reactions from other viewers about this episode. Seriously, for all the whining I just did the previous four pages, you could read this person or this person who are much better at explaining why the introduction of Re-Destro to the anime sucks, for more than one reason.

So, I had a different approach: I already had the flaws to this episode shared with me by other viewers, then I listened to the English dub, then I re-read the chapters, then I watched the Japanese dub with English subtitles.

And, boy, am I grateful I took that approach, because this episode is a ton of talking--too much talking. For an anime adaptation that cut so much of Spinner’s Leonardo from Ninja Turtles narration, I’m shocked that they kept the boring parts of his narration and cut the only good parts, including the very opening that had a lot more action and gave us a reason to sympathize with these Villains.

I know I’m a snob regarding animation; I have expressed before how, despite my love for animated works, I tend to appreciate them more for what they do with storytelling rather than the spectacle of the visuals. I really dislike works where the value of the work is in the animation alone: I am here to see a story unfold, and if there is no narrative, no plot, no beginning-middle-and-end, then what I’m encountering is a museum piece, not a work of cinema. (Feel free to bash me for that hot take: I’m still railing against Patty Jenkins’s ridiculous argument from this week.)

And as with most forms of karmic punishment I experience, I pay the price: if I rail long enough about works that are only all about the animation and not the story, then my punishment is an episode where all we get is a lot of story and not much in the way of animation. Yet I can’t even say we got a story here, so much as back story, exposition, needless narration--it’s Blade Runner only bad. As much as I have loved how this anime’s storyboards stick so close to the manga panels, the pan over the League listening to Shigaraki’s vague back story felt like the least interesting way to handle this scene, especially when it excises so much of Spinner coming around from questioning Shigaraki to sympathizing with him. Who would have imagined cutting so much of Spinner’s initial narration and the opening from Chapter 220 would screw up how to adapt Shigaraki’s back story from Chapter 222.

The anime cuts how this arc begins in the manga: Chapter 220 starts with Spinner facing off against an extremist group that hates him for his reptilian appearance--a moment that would have garnered more sympathy from the audience for these Villains than this episode is exhorting. We needed a scene to get behind these villains and agree with them, before we are shocked to hear Shigaraki say what we have long expected, that he just wants to destroy everything and make everyone as miserable as he has felt, to wake us up that, no, you may sympathize with these outcasts (to use Twice’s one-word self-description), but you shouldn’t agree with Shigaraki’s goals. (I know Shigaraki relents somewhat when asked by Toga, but it’s hard to backtrack from “destroy it all” to “destroy it all but not the stuff my friends like.” How on Earth is Shigaraki going to destroy Izuku when Spinner somewhat admires the guy and Toga...well, yeah, best left unsaid.)

While watching this episode, I also was reviewing other topics about anime and manga I’m going to go into more detail about later this month, and one topic of discussion is the assumption that anime and manga, by their visual style and story tropes, especially shojo and shonen, tend to be about big expressions--emotional outpours in words, movements, facial expressions, and actions to more easily communicate what is happening, regardless of context.

I hate to keep repeating “ambivalent” in my reviews (another academic word I need to expunge from my lexicon for a bit), but I’m ambivalent about that argument, that anime and manga, especially shojo and shonen, are better at communicating. If your character is unreadable, that likely has an intentional reason: we don’t get much of a read on the Doctor in this episode, not helped by his mustache and glasses, but we also don’t get a read on what Shigaraki is up to.

This episode only heightens my regard, not just about anime, manga, shojo, or shonen, but in animation and comics at large, that not everything is readable in what a character is planning.

On the one hand, I do agree that visual works tend to make ideas easier to comprehend for some people who can engage with such visual works. As someone who teaches English literature and writing in a United States setting, I use comics in my teaching to cross language and cultural barriers, especially for students for whom English is not their primary language or who are the first in their family raised in the United States. And this teaching approach also helps in reverse: I include manga and anime in my teaching to show how not all details cross language and cultural barriers in a one-to-one correspondence, hence the challenges of translation and localization, and how all of us struggle to make ourselves understood within our own primary language to someone else who is fluent in that language, let alone trying to translate into another language or to present ourselves in a different set of cultural norms.

On the other hand, anime and manga are not a fixed genre. Yes, I agree that the images tend to emphasize big eyes, big expressions, and big motions--but that’s like saying all animation is Looney Tunes, or all animation is Disney, or is Dragon Ball, and so on. Likewise, as I’ve discussed elsewhere, shonen is more than just one type of storytelling, and the same goes for shojo. This arc of My Hero Academia is placing focus, after admittedly far too long, on the Villains as the protagonists--and their behavior pokes holes in the idea that things are obvious, when the Villains are themselves such liars, so crafty, have their own hidden agendas, are keeping secrets from each other. It’s as if their behavior is a commentary on this plot and how BONES is adapting it: the Villains are keeping secrets, so this plot is going to keep its secrets for just who Re-Destro and the Meta Liberation Army are, what their personalities are like, and what Shigaraki and the Doctor have in mind for getting what he wants. We’re even kept in the dark as to Shigaraki’s full back story; we’re in the same position he is, knowing just little bits and able to make assumptions from a handful of visual cues and memories, without fully knowing who the hell Tenko is. Add to that Spinner’s struggles to narrate all of this and to get into Toga’s mind and Shigaraki’s mind, as well as Dabi’s own secrets and agenda with Hawks, and we have a story that blows up the notion that anime and manga are easier for reading a character’s mindset: no, they are not always easier, not when the creators deliberately mislead the audience or keep them in the dark for a surprise.

By keeping so much of the audience in the dark, so that we become aware of how deceitful villains can be, and we are put into Shigaraki’s place of not knowing where he came from. This should be a set of brilliant choices by BONES to adapt this arc in this manner. But the problem is, no, almost none of this gets anywhere close to brilliant. It’s not brilliant--it’s frustrating, because we already know what is going to happen. You can just pull up the manga at low cost with a Viz account and read all of this in the order it was originally presented and get the answers ahead of time. And if you’ve been reading the manga all along, you already know how this arc ends, and you know stuff from the next set of arcs so that you do know already what Shigaraki’s back story is, what Dabi was really up to, who survives, who dies. You even learn more about Compress’s back story--stuff that really should have been hinted at much earlier in the manga, and could have been hinted in this adaptation but as of this episode has not.

Maybe that is why the anime removes Re-Destro murdering his assistant: it’s such an odd moment that it is challenging for me to get a read on Re-Destro, as he alternates in the manga between being very friendly and devoted to his comrades but also violent and heartless.

It may be obvious that I didn’t like much of this episode. I think when I stopped taking this episode seriously was when I heard the voices. Like I said, I tend to start with the Japanese dub first before getting to the English dub. And I have nothing at all against English dubs: I would not be listening to them as much as I have, often first before I ever hear the Japanese, and I would not be a fan of so many English-speaking actors in dubs if I had any animosity to the craft, their work, and the benefit they provide for creating a larger audience for these stories. And nothing against Larry Brantley and Sonny Strait, but some of this casting feels off. I wasn’t able to take this episode seriously as soon as I heard the voice distortion that was used for Re-Destro’s phone call: that took me out of the story. If I had the chance for localization, I would really need Twice or someone to call out how freaking ridiculous that Mickey Mouse voice sounded. You have freaking Sonny Strait here: use the Krillin voice, use the Chibi Ragnarok voice, use the Usopp voice--use something, really go bizarre here, it’s just a voice distortion device! And as I said, nothing against Strait, but when I hear Re-Destro when I read the manga, that’s not the voice I have in mind. For right now, HIroaki Hirata in the Japanese dub is closer to that smoothness I expected for this character. But I have no doubt Strait will do excellent as Re-Destro’s empowered form: think Strait’s role in The Intruder II from Toonami. It’s just that Re-Destro in the English dub is lacking that odd refinement I was expecting.

Granted, it’s the same problem for me when I hear Brantley as Spinner: I am making unfair assumptions that don’t suit the goals of the creators when it comes to this character. It is sadly not as obvious in this episode as it is in the manga: this arc in the manga starts with Horikoshi invoking Laird and Eastman’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by having Spinner, who is already a sword-wielding reptilian martial artist, narrating just like how Leonardo narrating at the beginning of the very first issue of TMNT. I wanted a voice for the English dub that is like Leonardo’s, a little higher pitch and more youthful, like what Brian Tochi brought in the live-action Turtles film or what Cam Clarke and Michael Sinterniklaas bring in the animated versions. I think, for the Japanese dub, Ryo Iwasaki’s performance as Spinner is very close to what I expected. But that also may seem too obvious: Spinner may be young, but giving him an older-sounding voice can belie his inexperience, youthfulness, and naivete, similar to how people make assumptions about him by his reptilian appearance. The anime is putting me into my place--I think of Spinner one way other than who he really is, so I’m no better than the people around him who have discriminated against him for his physical appearance.

Just as I have a set of assumptions that unfairly influence how I would cast Spinner, I also think Re-Destro should have sounded more refined and less graveley in the English dub. But my expectations belie that, just the Joker whom he resembles, Re-Destro puts on this cultured facade to hide that he is just another violent gangster thug, someone who would kill his own assistant. I know I cited examples above about how complex Re-Destro is, but it’s hard for me to see him as sympathetic just because he’s crying over something he did out of his own volition: he coldly killed his office assistant Miyashita, his tears and kind words don’t suddenly make this a warm and cuddly death, we don’t get to think of him as our woobie. It only makes it more irritating that BONES so far has cut not only that scene of Re-Destro killing Miyashita but also Re-Destro’s TV commercial: it would clue us in that the reason he has that gravelly voice is because, no matter how much he tries to present himself on TV, he is not that kind of a man.

But since I invoked the Joker comparison to Re-Destro, yeah, I’m disappointed we didn’t get Troy Baker as Re-Destro, as unlikely as I imagine that would be to happen, regardless of Baker’s previous work with Funimation. It does lend a bit more to conspiracy theories on my part, though, given casting director Colleen Clinkenbeard telling Twitter followers to stop expecting Mark Hamill in MHA, it’s never happening--we can’t even get Troy Baker doing his Mark Hamill Joker.

(I’m not being fair to Baker: I’m not saying his Joker is at all bad--it is not, he has been excellent as Joker, especially playing him and Batman in the Ninja Turtles crossover film, but it is obvious Baker is performing the kind of Joker that came out of Hamill, so I’m trying to say he’s doing the “Hamill Joker,” rather than the “Nicholson Joker,” the “Ledger Joker,” or the “Caesar Romero Joker”).

It’s also a challenge to sympathize with these characters when we aren’t getting what this arc should give them: a re-introduction. I hate approaching this episode in a post-James Gunn The Suicide Squad world, but seeing how much MHA owes to not The Suicide Squad of the comics but that motif in so many superhero comics, there is that missed opportunity to reacquaint the audience with who are the members of the League of Villains. So, where the hell is my freeze-frame re-introduction to each League member? There was that fan theory a long time ago that Giran was really Present Mic in disguise: imagine doing Present Mic’s introduction of characters by name, Quirk, and pithy comment, only it’s Giran in the announcer seat this time.

(Don’t even get me started on how annoying it is to have Izuku handling the post-credit preview: give that to Spinner.)

Again, maybe it is brilliant for BONES not to include some re-introduction scenes, whether narrated by Giran or happening naturally in conversation between these characters. These Villains barely know each other’s back story, so there’s no artifice where they would believably share their back stories to each other in conversation in this context. And as I said, Shigaraki does not know enough about his own past, and Dabi is hiding his real identity. But when we’re stuck with Spinner as our half-hearted narrator, who seems not to know why he and Toga are still here with Stain being gone, and when Toga is this dull in her answer about what keeps her going after Stain’s arrest, and when Spinner himself seems not to know what he’s still doing here, all of that does not communicate a reason for us to keep going with this story.

I know this arc is going to get better, storywise at least, just based on how it went in the manga. I can only hope that the animation can capture the chaos that the original manga illustrations showed. But I am trying to think what a new viewer is going to do if this is their introduction to this series. I’m not invoking the Episode 7 Rule, I’m not doing a hypothetical experiment to gauge which episodes are the best to bring a newbie into this series--I am asking, honestly, if a fan was already into this series, and was watching it one Saturday morning, and a friend or roommate or relative saw them watching, they would be utterly lost about why they should care about this. Even the explanation for why Twice is indebted to Giran is presented as such an afterthought that does disservice to a potentially emotional moment, to what is supposed to be a pretty deep friendship, as deep as it can be for a weapons trader like Giran and an outcast-turned-criminal like Twice, so that, when Twice helps rescue Giran, we feel that emotional payoff.

It is honestly shocking that, for all the throwbacks, recaps, and flashbacks we get, including how Giran’s fingers match up to previous places where the League fought, that this still leaves a new viewer in the dark. And the problem lies at the feet of MHA arriving at a fifth-season slump: the series has gone on so long that things feel lazy and making far too many assumptions on what knowledge the audience is bringing. You’re not getting a bigger audience if you keep appealing to the diehard fans and the people reading the manga. After all, why would you keep doing ridiculous recaps and flashbacks if the fans already know what happened?

But speaking of the recaps and flashbacks, that should have been how this episode redeemed itself. As I said last time, if you re-worked the order of episodes to start with the Oboro Shirakumo story, that would be more shocking. But what if this episode could have been the very first episode of the season, and following the trend of previous seasons, make it a recap episode? We already had Izuku narrating a clip show, Class 1A at the pool, a photojournalist visiting the UA Dorms--it would be so much more interesting seeing “League of Villains camping in the woods while in the background Shigaraki gets squished by a giant.” Have the Villains tell campfire stories about how they got here: it would be a great excuse to re-use the animation and save on the budget. You could fit in a few gags, as Toga starts telling a really gruesome story but gets distracted by all the blood in it, while Twice’s story bounces between sugar-sweet happy and grim-and-dark chaos, while Compress and Spinner are stuck trying to keep them focused. It’d be a hell of a lot more interesting than how BONES somehow screwed up a potentially emotional volatile moment between Izuku and Amajiki that would put into question whether Izuku is going to have to kill a Villain and just how devastated Amajiki feels after Mirio lost his Quirk.

And speaking of whether Izuku is going to have to kill a Villain: obviously, this arc is setting up how much more dangerous Shigaraki is than UA gave him credit. Back in Season 2, I hated how Nezu and UA staff referred to him as a “man-child,” given the connotations that have surrounded masculinity and being a man. I wrote that before 2016; in this post-2016 atmosphere, and the increased prevalence of toxic masculinity, I am, once again, that annoying word ambivalent. I am likewise ambivalent how well this series has shown Shigaraki to be able to form the plan he does by episode’s end. We’re only told by Spinner how much faster Shigaraki is getting and how much slower Gigantomachia has become--but the animation doesn’t show that. And we’re being told how great Shigaraki’s plan is--when it sounds ridiculous.

By cutting so much of Spinner’s narration from the manga, we also don’t get a scene where Spinner confronts Shigaraki to ask him what is his plan. Up to that point, Shigaraki has said that, with Kurogiri gone over the last month and the computers at the old League hideout destroyed, they can’t reach the Doctor. Spinner is insistent: what is the plan? Shigaraki responds that he just told them--as Gigantomachia crashes through their hideout. The other characters explain for readers like me who aren’t following: Shigaraki just said Kurogiri was gone; to contact the Doctor, Kurogiri sought Gigantomachia; Gigantomachia would sniff out where Shigaraki is and bring him to the Doctor. Brilliant--that shows more attention to Shigaraki’s planning and scheming, and now, it’s not even here in the episode to make me think this guy is that smart. (This episode also had Shigaraki reveal his plan to have Gigantomachia attack the MLA, whereas it was Spinner who predicted that was going to be Shigaraki’s plan--so, again, we’re not letting Spinner stand out as smarter than we expected, either.)

I know Shigaraki is supposed to be our chessmaster, given his association with gaming, especially when he was faking his ignorance about shogi to lower Overhaul’s guard before defeating him and stealing his Quirk-cancelling bullets. But I’m having the same problem I had when following All For One throughout this anime: it just feels like these two antagonists are getting ahead out of sheer luck and because everyone else is a fool, not because either of them are that great as villains. Give me a Xanatos, give me a Luthor, give me a Norman Osborne (not Clone Saga Osborne, a different one). Show me Shigaraki is more than a pawn for All For One and the Doctor, because I don’t feel anything here, not even when we’re supposed to feel that Shigaraki has some legitimate concern for All For One that just isn’t getting communicated to me, whether by my stubbornness or because the content is not giving the animators and actors what they deserve. Eric Vale can sell the hell out of a scene, but Shigaraki’s talk about All For One is not giving that opportunity to the actor.

My remarks this time are a lot more disorganized and doesn’t really arrive at any conclusion. I have more to say about how this arc works and doesn’t work, especially when it comes to how ridiculous the MLA comes across in underestimating the League, but we’ll get to that next time.

#my hero academia #shigaraki #league of villains #meta liberation army #spinner #long post #mha spoilers

[cooloddball]

JIB9 (JIBCON 2018) ANALYSIS PART 2

Go read part 1 of jib9 analysis if you haven’t read it already.

Continuing from where we left off...

Misha says no, he doesn’t think that Cas feels like part of the family and Jensen smirks and looks down while Jared smiles

Jensen helps Misha along with his answer 

Jensen defends Sam and Dean after Misha says they don’t show emotion saying things like “I love you so much”

Jens: “There are a few scenes where you know,”

Jared: “Didn’t you see the one with the whole if we die we will do that together too?”

Jens: “Yeah that was emotional”

This is getting serious people. Remember this is season 13 they are talking about.

Jens keeps going on “you know there was embracing, and then there was a lot-I mean…” This whole time Jensen is looking at Misha

Misha is like “All I’m saying…”

And Jensen cuts Misha  off and says, “Did you miss that?”

Look at Jared’s face here though. He’s like are you guys having a lovers’ quarrel? Am I missing something?

Misha tries to talk again but Jensen is adamant, unrelenting to give up on that there was an emotional scene between Dean and Cas. 13x05???  “Were you not there?”

Misha being who he is and not backing down either he says, “NO” rather defiantly. 

Jared’s face here though. He stopped talking and is watching these two lovers go at it. (No, not the sexy kind)

Jensen doesn’t look too thrilled about what Misha said. Jared laughs Jensen is basically done at this point. Look at his face.

Misha continues “That was Castiel”

And Jensen just looks appalled, he raises his eyebrows looks down at his hands [0.43 insert Jensen’s face atm] and since Misha is looking at him and he sees that Jensen is unhappy he adds “I’m very method.”

Jensen goes to say something but stops himself, Jared senses the tension, Misha is still looking at Jensen and Jensen hasn’t looked at Misha since he asked him “were you not there?”

IDK what is going on here but it fees like more than just about Dean and Cas and more like it’s about Jensen and Misha. I mean Jared and Misha are having fun with it and Jensen just seems adamant to prove they care A LOT about Cas which is weird considering the fact that the moment Misha was asked that question Jensen agreed with Jared that they are not as pleased that Cas was back (this was a joke) . So what has changed since then? Only a few seconds have passed.

Jensen presses on, “I mean was Cas there? I know he was there physically but was he there emotionally? Because it doesn’t sound like it.”

The way Misha is holding his microphone he looks scared. Jensen can’t take his eyes off Misha.

Misha says, “see this is what I’m talking about” I think he realizes Jensen is getting too emotional and personal on stage and he decides to guide the conversation to the funny side.

Jensen laughs .

Misha says “ I don’t think he [Cas] lets himself feel worthy or wanted” and Jensen keeps looking at a fixed spot on the floor and I don’t know what’s so interesting there. Jared says “smart” in reference to Misha’s statement and Jensen nods.

Jared tries to make fun but Misha is not having it, he [Misha]  looks at an imaginary watch and says  “That said-uh…that said I think this season he’s felt more part of the team and the family…probably *looks at Jensen* more than ever before” Now I talked about that moment here but I have to reiterate, something is off here tbh. I don’t know what was going on with Jensen but something was definitely off.

I have been thinking about what the causation of Jensen’ s behaviour could be and I have come to a very weird and maybe kind of controversial conclusion, IDK. But  here’s what I think. Maybe Misha finally told Jensen that he didn’t feel like he was part of the family because of the way they treated him and talked shit about him at J2 panels? Like how he pretended to gag when he saw Misha on screen during the jib9 j2 panel the previous day. Or the extreme pranks Jared played on him and Jensen just stood aside? The way some  j2 fans send hate to him and that it gets to him. Maybe he finally opened up. Because if that is the case then,  Jensen blamed himself for making Misha feel like that when he didn’t have any intention to? I hope I’m making sense. Or maybe it could be something else entirely but I feel like since 2017 Jensen had stopped going along with Jared’s attempts to make fun of Misha at their panes. So maybe this was him feeling bad that he ever played a part in that??? Okay my head hurts I have to move on. 

Since that moment Jensen doesn’t look okay, even when Mishalecki are bantering with the next fan, Jensen just seems sad? Sad is not the right word but he seems kind of upset 

So the fan makes a small mistake in what she’s asking and Misha laughs  then Jensen turns to look at him for a brief second, it’s literally for a second and Misha looks at him with his big blue eyes but Jensen looks away rather quickly. I think they can both feel the weight of the previous answer Misha gave simmering beneath the surface but they can’t talk about it atm. 

Now Jared says something rather weird to me, “A man who goes to sleep with an itchy butt wakes up with a smelly hand.”   (I know it’s a saying or whatever but it’s just a strange thing to say or maybe it’s just me) Jensen is nodding along to that but Misha doesn’t look amused. I think it’s an interesting thing to say when two of your best friends who play with each other’s butts are seated on stage with you. I’m not sorry I said that because it had to be said.

For a literal microsecond, Misha looks at Jensen but Jensen is looking at a fixed spot on the floor as has become norm in the last 2 minutes. Mish suppresses a smile because he knows Jensen still feels bad about earlier.

Jared says that’s why he thinks the brother’s and Cas have to die in order for the show to end and Jensen’s face is just stoic. Dude wtf?? 

Jensen joins in the banter and makes a joke about a man who stands on a toilet while high on pot he’s not crazy he’s just high? J2 make another joke about a man going backwards to Bangkok or something. Misha manages to laugh at those jokes.

Jared asks Misha  if he has anything to add and Jensen looks at Misha smiling look at the way he’s looking at Misha. It’s like he wants to stuff him in his pocket and take him home with him.

Jensen is laughing so hard now because Misha says that the only sayings that come to mind are the only ones he doesn’t want to say.

They try to pronounce the German word and it’s hilarious AF.

So Jared makes a joke of a sound that the fan is helping them pronounce and Jensen is just done. Completely done because he looks away and scratches his beard like he wants to be anywhere but there. JFC What is going on? He was happy again.

OMG husbands whispering at each other while Jared is engaged with a fan. Gossipy Jensen. Also I’m glad whatever tension was there after the Cas question is finally gone and they are back on track again.

They are in there own little world because IDK what Misha whispered to Jensen but Jensen is unicorn laughing. Aww J

 “We just said some really bad shit” I like it when Jensen curses. Now I want to know what they said because when Misha whispers it to Jared, he laughs really hard as well. Oh to be a tiny ant crawling around, listening to their whispered secrets. A girl can dream am I right?

7.33 Jared asks the fan what her “that German/Austrian word” was that morning and I am inclined to think whatever the husbands were whispering to each other had something to do with a sex-related orifice because of the way Jensen reacts.

The fan puts Jared in his place. Look at Jensen’s reaction.

He’s like you go girl.

Jensen wants to whisper something to Misha so bad but he stops himself.

Okay so Jensen says he did bicycle touring and he did take part in some of the quests. Is he talking about GISHWES because he never can pronounce that word. LOL.

So Jared interrupts Jensen starts telling his story and Jensen just shuts down just look at his face the entire time Jared is telling it.

Misha and Jared are talking about how it’s so hot on stage and Jensen is just miming to the fans how it’s not hot. I love when he does that. Naughty boy.

Misha moans and he and Jared just rush off to point the fan in their direction while Jensen just stands over the fan on his side of the stage and cools his balls off.

OMG!!!! Misha is doing the mating dance while making fiery eye contact with Jensen and sips from the bottle. Jensen heeds his husband’s call to mate and walks briskly in long manly steps to wards him and he takes the drink off his hand while looking at him like he wants to eat him [it’s called a mating dance for a reason] and inhales the drink whatever it is and it must be really strong because he looks away and says something to Jared. Misha walks away says something to Jared and goes to sit down.  Jensen starts twerking his booty. Misha your man wants to mate on stage do something. Anyway Jensen pours the drink that Misha had sipped directly from the bottle in a shot glass  and does the rck on sign and sips it. The entire time Mishalecki are just looking at Nesnej and laughing not understanding what is going on.

Jared sniffs the drink and says “poker face” and Jensen says “thanks Lady Gaga” IDK if this was a snide comment or just banter but now we know Jensen listens to Lady Gaga and Katy Perry (re: jib8).

This part is really funny when the fan thanks Misha for sending a recovery message to her friend but Misha says that  he had no choice but to do it because the fan just held out the phone to Misha and Misha was like “oooh, heeey”

I think Jared asks Misha what happened and Misha explains because Jared folds over laughing.

Jared starts talking before Jensen can answer the question and again Jensen doesn’t look too amused. This guy keeps stealing his thunder.

Jensen manages a smile when he hears that Misha did a German accent 

Misha asks Jensen if he wants some tips on accents and Jensen smiles and says no. Ouch. Sorry Mish, your man doesn’t want your help. He’d rather wing it.

Misha is not backing down and compliments Jensen by listing all the accents that Jensen can do. We love a supportive husband. Hype your man Mish.

Jensen says that he speaks French and he has a little have a  tête-à-tête in français. I find it funny how Misha pretends not to know Jensen speaks French yet he just listed all the accents Jensen can do. Sure Jan.  And after the French interaction which Misha adds a flair of a French accent when he talk as and , Jensen tries really hard  not to smile. Someone’s excited. #accent kink ;)

Jensen says he doesn’t think Michael is going to need an accent and Misha says yes he will in French accent and Jensen is just trying really really hard not to smile.

Look at Jared’s face though he’s like dude are you seriously turned on by Misha’s weird accent right now? It’s not even funny and Jensen can’t stop smiling.

Jensen is done with Misha’s shenanigans so he just cuts him off and Misha is exasperated and Jensen proceeds to ask his question.

Fan says she would improve on Misha’s German accent and Misha gasps scandalized and  even Jensen is not happy about that but he takes this moment to make fun of Misha so the comment doesn’t seem as harsh 

Look at Misha’s face

and here is Jensen’s face  he can’t believe someone was mean to his baby.

Anyway, in an attempt to make it less painful for his man he tries to make and joke and says, “I didn’t send that out with the insult in mind but I’m really glad that happened.” 

The joke makes it worse and Misha  doesn’t seem to feel better. Poor Misha.

It’s over.

Time for the closing ceremony

Jensen and Briana singing.

 Misha and Adam

I love their friendship, makes me think of the possibilities that could’ve been between Cas and Mick on the show.

OMG Jensen you naught boy, yeah I see you have experience humping and spanking. Go on Rockstar we love to see it.

Even Jason Mann’s sees Jensen humping the air and Misha and Jensen turn to look at Jason. Jensen is  smirking at him after what he just did. OMG.

The way Jensen is looking at Rob when Rob tries to sing the remaining verses of carry on my wayward son. Jensen you need apple juice. Jensen is me. He is insane and he is me and I love him. JENSENKIN!!!!

Why are Jensen and Misha gravitating towards each other unconsciously? Do their hearts have magnets that pull towards each other?

Speaking of them why does Jensen seem extremely tall here and Misha looks so tiny.

Am I the only one who doesn’t like the guy who played Ketch? OMG he just rubs me off the wrong way.

 OMG is Jared trying to touch Jensen’s hand? Eww He touched Jensen’s arm and Jensen didn’t even look at him. This is embarrassing. Jensen hasn’t looked at him once/ HELP.

Misha and Jensen are standing the same way at the exact same time and they aren’t even looking at each other. OMG!! This is insanity.

Jensen turns to smile at Misha. Aww J

Jensen looks at Misha with a smile on his face when Daniela says they’ll be back the next year the year that gave us straddle gate and boners.

It’s over guys. 

So I have come to the conclusion that something was going on between Jensen and Jared at jib 9.

See you on the next one.

Part 1

#cockles #jib9 #jibcon 2018 #jib9 cockles panel analysis #j2m

[duhragonball]

Disinterpretation

I finally finished the Sarah Z video about “pro vs. anti”.   It’s pretty long, and I ended up watching it in chunks over several days, but I think it’s worth watching, especially if you’re sort of partially connected to online fandom, but not enough to be aware of all the lingo. 

As I expected, the whole thing was vague and confusing because the people involved in the conflict made it vague and confusing.   In theory, the full terms would be “pro-shipping” and “anti-shipping”, but it seems like it’s more about particular kinds of ships that could be considered controversial.  But that’s a slippery slope, and apparently the whole conflict mutated into both sides deciding that every hypothetical relationship between fictional characters is either equally valid or equally dangerous.  

Long story short, it’s just purity culture, which was what everyone on Tumblr was calling it around 2012.  But now, if you’re a sane person who genuinely asks: “Who gives a fuck about Voltron?”, these people will jump your ass and accuse you of being on the side of their enemies.  “Children have died over the importance of Lotor/Hagger!   Your callous indifference proves that you yourself must have murdered children!” 

I think what Sarah Z really hit upon in this video was that media consumption has become so ingrained in our culture that people feel like it has to go hand-in-hand with our morality.   That is, it’s not enough for me to watch Star Trek, I have to justify Star Trek as evidence that I’m a good person.  Maybe this is where the expression “guilty pleasure” comes from.   Conversely, it’s not enough for me to not watch Dr. Who, I have to somehow convince everyone that Dr. Who was invented by the devil.

I’m pretty sure the Reylo ship has a lot to do with this, since it’s kind of understood to be a dark, problematic concept, and fans either embrace its flaws or recoil in horror because of them.   Star Wars itself is a dumb story about space wizards, so people try to give the debate more weight by linking it to freedom of self expression and/or enabling real world harm.   Suddenly it’s not enough to just think two actors would look cute making out instead of fighting.   Now it’s this battlefield for the soul of civilization or something.

I grew up in the 80′s, when “concerned parents” and grifters would accuse the Smurfs and metal bands of promoting satanism and witchcraft.   I used to hear stories of teens going out into the woods in the middle of the night to do occult stuff, and all I could ever think about was: “Why would anyone bother wandering out in the woods in the middle of the night?”  Which is why “concerned parents” turned their attention to things that were closer to home, like Saturday morning cartoons.   It had nothing to do with the content; it was just about finding a safe, accessible target for their hysteria.   Some people want to go on a crusade without leaving the house, so they pick a fight with Papa Smurf instead of confronting the real evils in the world.  Even as a kid, I knew this was a con, because I’d watched the show for myself and knew it was too saccharine to be threat to anyone.

The pro/anti folks have tried to disguise this with a lot of terminology.   I wondered why they seemed to reluctant to use the full terms “pro-shipper” and “anti-shipper”, and it’s probably a couple of things.   First, the word “shipper” is basically an admission that this is pointless bullshit that doesn’t matter, and they’d like to avoid that connotation.   Second, they seem to have decided that this goes beyond shipping itself, into practically anything else they want it to involve.  It’s all part of the con, which is to make you believe that it’s “us vs. them”, and you can be part of “us” by curating specific attitudes about Steven Universe.

Seriously, “about Steven Universe” is such an incredible punchline.  You can make anything funnier by adding those three words to the end of a sentence.   “Do not interact if you blog about Steven Universe.”   “Hey, what’s up, YouTube, this is SSJ3RyokoLover69, and this is going to be kind of a serious video about Steven Universe.”   “Mrs. Johnson, the results of your biopsy are in, and I have some bad news about Steven Universe.”   It’s a fucking kids show.   “Oh no, all the characters look like the characters in all the other kids shows!”   Yeah, that’s because it’s a kids show.   Marvin looks like Garfield, this isn’t new.

The common denominator here seems to be that both sides try to wrap themselves in the flag of vulnerable groups: impressionable minors, trauma survivors, harassment victims, etc.   The “pros” want to protect those people so that they can feel free to explore weird subject matter on their own terms, and the “antis” want to protect the same people from being exposed to weird subject matter that they might not want to see.   It’s all about establishing a moral high ground.   Back in the day, it was called “sanctimony”. 

But people get roped into this, because at their core, people want approval, and this stupid conflict offers them a sense of community.  As long as you support the cause, whatever it may be, you’ll have this online friend network that appears to support anything you do.   But if you deviate from their norm, you’ll be cast out.    Does this sound familiar?

To use a more familiar example, I still sometimes find people clamoring about Gochi vs. Vegebul.   I’ve never understood this, because both ships were canon, and I never saw much direct evidence of a war between them, but people would still talk about how crazy the Vegebul shippers were, and how crazy the Gochi shippers were, and it was like some huge thing going on just over the hills.   It’s the same idea, since the idea that you could like both or neither never seems to occur to anyone involved.   I never gave a shit, because I used to see the same dumb agendas in the Harry Potter fandom.

Okay, so let me take you back.  It’s 2005 through 2011, and I’m hateblogging all seven Harry Potter novels, because fuck you, that’s why.  The funny thing I encountered was that occasionally fans seemed to want to pretend like my bashing of certain characters was proving them right somehow.    They were like “See?  He hates Ron Weasley too!  That proves that Seamus Finnegan is the coolest guy ever.”   The Slytherin stans would do this all the time, because I would constantly take the piss out of the Gryffindor characters for being self-important dopes.   I think they just liked hearing it from an outside perspective.   But I had to keep reminding them all that I hated all of them.   Every character from Harry Potter sucks ass. Voldemort was my favorite, but only because he was the one guy who wanted to kill all of the others.   But he sucks too because he failed. 

And the shippers were the same way.   I’d say something shitty about Ron, because Ron sucks, and some smartass Joss Whedon fan would be like “Yes!  Boost the signal!  That is why Harry/Hermione is the best ship!”  And I’d be like “No, Harry and Hermione suck at least as bad as Ron does.  They’re all terrible and I hate them.”   I really do think there was some sort of Stockholm Syndrome going on with Harry Potter books, where everyone secretly knows they suck, but the fans sort of latch on to one or two characters and go like “Well, he’s not as shitty as the rest.”   Like finding spaghetti in the trash and picking out the meatball with the least amount of lint on it.   Then you’d go and start a flamewar with some other starving person over whether your meatball is shittier than theirs.  This is what people mean when they say to read another book. 

Anyway, the big thing I picked up from Sarah Z’s video is “disinterpretation”, a term coined by MSNBC columnis Zeeshan Aleem.   The Twitter thread is worth a read, but the short version is that he once remarked that a Julia Louis-Dreyfus routine wasn’t very good, and someone got mad at him for insinuating that women are incapable of being funny.    They just took his dissatisfaction with one performance by one comedian as being a universal condemnation of women comedians in general.  And this sort of thing is all over the internet.   Everyone sees what they want to see and then they take it as permission to overreact.  

I ran into this myself a while back, because someone saw who I interacted with on Twitter and decided that they’re all bad guys and if I have any interaction with them, then that makes me a bad guy too.   At the time I tried to play it cool, but the more I think about it, the more it ticks me off.   And over the course of that conversation, it was said that I don’t talk about myself much, and that’s kind of funny, because all I ever do on social media is write long-ass blog posts like this one.  I don’t expect anyone to memorize them, or even read them all the way through, but when I write all this stuff and someone goes out of their way to say they don’t know anything about me, the message is that they just didn’t pay attention to what I was saying, and they didn’t bother to try.

So I’m a little jaded from that, because I got called out for a bunch of stuff I didn’t even do or say, and apparently that’s just a thing that happens.   People will reject you for completely arbitrary reasons, not because of anything you actually said or did, and you’re left thinking you made some terrible mistake.   Except, no, I’ve seen it happen to other people, people a lore more conscientious than I am, and if they can’t satisfy the bullshit purity standards, then I never stood a chance.   If the game is rigged so I can’t win, then I’m not going to play.  

And it’s that same condition that probably draws people into these online holy wars, because if you declare yourself for the pro or anti side, at least then you’ll have a posse backing you up.   Only they don’t support you, they support your willingness to support them.    Once your commitment to their agenda wavers, even in the slightest, they will turn against you.   

Sarah Z suggests that both sides of the war drop the pro and anti terms, since they lost all meaning long ago.   But that just invites a new set of useless terms to perpetuate the same cycle.   Her more useful advice is for fandom people to broaden their horizons.   She got a lot of flak for tweeting “Go outside” once, but the ironic thing is that it’s sound advice.   I had lunch with my mom yesterday and it was just nice getting away from things for a while.   People need to do that more often, and unfortunately it feels like it’s harder to do than ever before.

But “go outside” isn’t just a literal thing.   It can mean going beyond your usual haunts, reading the same books, watching the same shows, rehashing the same conversations.   I think the reason this stuff always revolves around “shipping” is because there seems to be this deep-seated compulsion to pair fictional characters off like this, and for a lot of folks it’s the only way they can consume a story, so they do.   And they do it lot, and there’s a lot of them, and they do it the same way every time, and lo and behold the same old conflicts start up.   So maybe “go outside” should mean “go outside of that cycle once in a while.”   Just a thought. 

[autumnleaves1991-blog]

Day 4: Tweeted- Benny Miller

Day 4: Tweeted- Benny Miller 

I have to admit this may be my favorite so far that I have written. I just love Benny so much and how adorable he is.

Check out my November writing challenge masterlist below and let me know if you have any requests for any of the prompts. 

November Writing Challenge Masterlist 

Day 3: Clarity- Maxwell Lord 

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It was a strange thing to tell people when they asked about your boyfriend. Yes, he’s an MMA fighter, ex-special forces, and also an overgrown child.

You met Benny eight months ago at one of his local fights. A blind date set up by your friends started out as dinner with a nice normal doctor and ended up in bed with the entertainment for the night. You still felt sort of bad about how you had ditched the doctor but when you thought of how happy Benny made you it was worth it. 

You are sitting in the gym watching Benny train with his brother Will. The Miller brothers were a package deal and luckily Will and you hit it off right away. Will is going through some footage from an old fight while you scroll through your phone on twitter. Since you had begun dating Benny, the world of MMA became a norm in your life. You followed other fighters and coaches on twitter and learned as much as you could. It was at that moment an idea struck you. 

“Hey baby...babe....Benny!” you shout getting both men’s attention. 

“What do you need, Tiger?” Benny smiles at you. 

You roll your eyes, you hate that nickname, one time you had one of your nieces' Daniel Tiger songs in your head and you accidentally sang it out loud...one time. But that’s all it took for him to call you Tiger forever. 

“Have you ever thought of getting a twitter account for yourself as a fighter? Not like a personal account but something for press,” the look on his face makes you want to laugh out loud. 

“What the fuck is a twit….twitter? Is that some kind of STD?” oh your poor golden retriever and his lack of knowledge at technology. 

“No...baby no. It’s a social media account that people get to post about their lives. Lots of other fighters use it to connect with fans, and promote their fights, Will back me up here?” you gesture to the other Miller who looks just or more confused than the former. 

“Uhm, I honestly don’t know what the hell you're talking about, my girl just got me a Facebook account like two weeks ago,” Will shrugs at Benny. 

You roll your eyes so far you can see the inside of your brain before you tell them, “It would be great Benny, we could make you an account tonight when you come over for dinner and I can show you how it works, just trust me baby.” 

“I trust you Tiger, how about you get going home and I’ll pick up the take-out and be there within the hour?” Benny stands before walking over to you pulling you into his arms. You have to look up since he is a solid foot taller than you and he pecks you on the lips before attempting to deepen the kiss. Damn this man is insatiable. 

“Alright enough!” Will shouts, breaking the two of you apart abruptly, “Let the woman go Benny we need to finish up with this and then he’s all yours.” 

“Oh brother, I already am all hers,” Benny tells his brother loudly before leaning down to your ear and whispering, “and she is all MINE.” You can’t help the shiver that runs up your spine before he puts a wet kiss below your ear and gently pushes you towards the door, slapping your ass on the way out. You wave goodbye to Will and make your way home. 

Benny arrives exactly one hour later, two whole pizzas in hand, and a six pack of beer. You had been having pizza a lot more often since the other guys started calling you both monsters for your equal love of pineapple and ham pizza. Over the next three hours you and Benny work on setting up his twitter account. 

It’s honestly way more frustrating teaching him than you thought it would be. He asks more questions than a grandpa learning how to use a smartphone. You didn’t know a grown man could ask so many questions and so quickly. 

“What are followers? Is this some sort of cult website. Babe, I don’t wanna join a cult.”

“So I click this little round A symbol to tag someone in my tweet? Is this even English?” 

“Are hashtags named after hash browns because they look like hash browns...wait do we have any hash browns….baaaabbbeee now I’m hungry!” 

You groan before slapping your forehead, watching your big MMA fighter boyfriend dig through the freezer for hash browns. Coming back soon with a pout on his face, having found no hash browns. Damn how can one be so adorable?

“That’s it, I got work in the morning. I promise we can work on this more tomorrow!” You stand from the couch popping your joints as you stretch. Benny comes over to you wrapping you up in a hug. His warm arms wrap around you and he kisses the side of your neck. 

“Thank you,” the words are slightly muffled against your skin, “I really appreciate you doing this stuff with me. Supporting me with being a fighter, I promise one day I am going to make you proud of me.” 

You pull him back, placing your hands on his face. “I am already so fucking proud of you Benjamin Miller and don’t you ever forget it. Yes, you suck at technology butI promise I don’t love you any less because of it.” 

Benny goes quiet and the smile drops from his face… “My little Tiger... you love me?” 

Oh shit. That’s not exactly how you imagined telling Benny you loved him but when has anything in your relationship been conventional. You take a deep breath meeting his eyes before you smile, “Of course I love you baby. You are the sweetest, toughest, most badass, old man on the planet and I fucking love you so much.” 

Benny’s eyes become glassy before he’s pulling you in for a kiss, and wrapping his arms around you tightly. “I love you too Tiger, so fucking much,” he kisses you again slower this time, “go to bed baby I will clean up out here and join you in a couple minutes.” 

You pull away first, exhausted not only physically but emotionally too and you kiss Benny on the lips again gently before walking back towards your room. Benny has his own place with his brother but he’s kind of like a stray dog that followed you home one day and never left. Most of his stuff is at your place anyways, since he sleeps there every night. You pull back the covers and get into the cool sheets, from the nightstand your phone pings. 

You pick up the phone and see someone tagged you in a tweet. When you open it your eyes water and you clutch the phone to your chest. 

@y/n is the best girlfriend on the planet, AND SHE LOVES ME! I LOVE YOU TO BABE!

You press the like button on the tweet before turning off the light snuggling into the blankets. From the hallway you hear the sounds of Benny’s boots on the floor walking towards the bedroom. He gets ready for bed, and pulls you close to his body, his arms wrapping around your waist pulling you tight to him. Your head rests on his chest. 

Just when you're about to fall asleep you feel him tap your shoulder gently, “babe…” he whispers, “I tweeted all by myself.” 

You laugh out loud before snuggling to him tighter, “yes you did, I even liked it. And Benny?” 

“Yeah Tiger?” 

“I love you too.” 

Day 5: Holy - Llewyn Davis 

#November writing challenge #Benny Miller #Triple Frontier

[jenoismydad]

To comment on that "Jeno looking fine ask" or something like that where the link instead leads to an NCT being racists/colorists video, I'm going to start by saying I am not a person of color so feel free to completely disregard what I am saying because I will never understand the struggles and inequalities faced by people of color. That being said, I think we can all agree that most people don't condone, support, or accept any form of hate directed towards another person or a group of people. However, many black people (i.e. not African Americans) have spoken about how not every black person shares the same ideas about what they consider to be racism and cultural apportion. Concerning what Hendery did, yes that was wrong of him and having some explain and educate him as to why that hurt fans is something anyone would support. It was clearly racism, and just because he is from a country where racism is not as prevalent elsewhere, that doesn't make him immune to being responsible for his behavior. Johnny and Mark's use of AAVE just seemed like them using what they (and probably staff, cause lets remember here ppl its not like these guys have a lot of freedom) considered slang. I'm sure Ten and fans have probably explained to them why they shouldn't use it, so make of that what you will. To address colorism, just from simply googling, one can easily find that white and very light skin has been ingrained in East Asian culture because it was traditionally viewed as a sign of wealth, but has now just become an ideal beauty standard to have pale skin. I agree, Heachan and Yukhei have definitely gotten teased/ bullied for their less pale complexion and it's not right. I want to say the member's need to be told but who would tell them that they need to actively start trying to go against their cultural norms? Fans? They'll only listen to us so much. Finally, I agree that I don't think members should be stylized or allowed to wear African hairstyles or use articles of clothing specifically meant for African/African American/black people's hair. To conclude, if this issue is of such importance to you anon and you want to make everyone aware of it, post on your own blog. Additionally, whoever made the video doesn't clearly doesn't know the members since they couldn't even name Jaemin in one comment, so even though they said it wasn't to hate on NCT it sure as hell seems like it.

people are entitled to their own views and opinions and as you said not everyone deems it racist, colorist or offensive. it's not up to either of us to decide who feels what about it. but i just don't appreciate that someone chose to use my blog as a platform to voice their opinions, thinking that they were being sly as they did it. if you want to share your opinions share them straight up. i don't even care if you hide behind the anon option. tell me what you think, just don't be so sneaky about it. it's incredibly shady and it's obvious that they were attempting to start unnecessary drama.

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Thomas Barrow and the Gaydar Myth

One of the really bipolar points in DA fandom is how information spreads in the house. It’s one of many, and this is, of course, because there are millions of people here with our own separate points of view. But it’s rather ironic to go from reading a fan fic about “everyone finds out about Thomas’s suicide and reacts to it because OMG you know they couldn’t keep a secret!” (despite the fact that everyone directly involved has proven throughout the years that they can, if they want to) to people wondering at the fact that all of the straight people in the house apparently have better gaydar than the gay guy, because everyone knows he’s gay, but he can’t get a date.

So I’m going to take a minute to address the whole ‘gaydar’ thing, ‘cause there are (believe it or not!) people who genuinely do not get what it is and how it works.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s super fun to act like gaydar is the queer version of the force and some Jedi mind trick allows us to identify each other without so much as a word. It really is! And there are people who absolutely make it seem that way. But that’s not what’s happening. What is commonly called ‘gaydar’ is, simply put, the ability to read behavioral cues and that has nothing to do with your actual sexuality.

Example:

My queer ass has zero gaydar. I’m an introverted shut in. I don’t go out. I fail the ‘if you can count the number of friends you have who aren’t white, you’re racist!” test because, once you get rid of my family and coworkers (who I only see at work), I can count my RL friends on my fingers. I only need one hand and I won’t run out of fingers. Similarly, I don’t watch a lot of TV or movies. What does all of this mean? It means that while I have a decent writer’s grasp on psychology, picking up on real world gender cues is not a skill I’ve developed. At all. Seriously, I first suspected my female supervisor who wears button down shirts, bow ties, and has a short, military hair cut might be gay when she mentioned in conversation that she was gay. Until he mentioned his boyfriend in conversation, I strongly suspected that my supervisor who talked with his hands, had very swishy body movements, and spoke – not with a lisp, exactly, but with a very distinct, sort of flirty speech pattern was quite likely gay. I’ve not even suspected most of my queer coworkers – even the ones who, in retrospect, are advertising pretty hard – until they mention relationships. I am that bad at this!

Meanwhile, you have my Dad and Step-mum. Both straight, both cys, but very social, extroverted people, and an active part of any work or community environment they’re a part of. For years anytime a church in our conference wanted to establish or expand a queer presence in their congregation, Dad was one of the go too pastors. This was even after we had openly queer clergy. He’s got good gaydar. If  gaydar really were a Jedi mind trick, my Step-mum would be the ultimate Jedi master. Seriously, she can spot a half way to Narnia closet case at fifty paces. She’s that good.

So how does this relate to Downton and Thomas Barrow? Easy. The most relatable thing about Thomas, for me, is that he fails at reading cues. He tries, but he is not an expert. Now, people point to the amazing underground queer scene in England at the time, but that was underground? And it wasn’t everywhere. Basically to find it you had to know someone or stumble upon something. That doesn’t seem like much to our well connected age, where you can find out anything you want at any time you please, courtesy of the internet, but again, consider: My country passed or upheld two really amazingly progressive bits of legislation in 2020, and the only reason I know about them is because my parents told me. My social media – which is full of progressive liberals who are all for this sort of thing – didn’t say boo about it. So if I can nearly miss History Making political moves when I have access to the ‘net, is it really so hard to believe that a shop boy turned footman isn’t In The Know as far as England’s gay scene, outside of what he reads in the papers, of course, which is would not include the location of the nearest gay bar...unless the police had just raided it. Or it was queer coded to the point that only someone who was really good with the lingo, aka Not Thomas, would recognize it.

There’s a rather good post out there already about how Thomas’s experience with other gay men seems to be entirely upper crust, so I won’t repeat that at length here. Suffice to say any experience he has with the underground gay scene would quite likely involve someone like the Duke of Crowborough taking him to a club where he wouldn’t be at all welcome if he weren’t on the arm of the Duke of Crowborough, and it is also not impossible – or even unlikely – that the Duke is the one who started that relationship. Thomas has clearly picked up an idea of how to figure things out, but it’s clumsy as hell – see his attempts at figuring out Jimmy. People might scream predator at the top of their lungs because ‘OMG INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING!” but honestly? That’s probably what it would look like if someone told me I had to figure things out without just asking. Only ten times more awkward, because Thomas at least has enough experience with toffs to give him some sort of confidence.

Meanwhile, the older servants of the house are, well, older. Upstairs, Lord Grantham went to Eton. They’ve all traveled, because staying at one house for your entire career wasn’t very typical. There are a good number of people in the house who would actually have far more opportunity to develop a good gaydar than Thomas. Mrs. Hughes had known other queer men. Mr. Carson was in theater, a famously queer heavy occupation, although even there he probably isn’t as good as he thinks he is. Who knows about that absolutely punchable butler from Season 6? And all it takes is one gossip to figure out what’s going on – and I’m not looking at Mrs. Patmore here, but….yes, actually, I am – and there you go! A miracle if the whole village isn’t in on the secret!

So, yeah, it’s not at all unbelievable that there would be people in the house with better gaydar than the gay guy and that they would spread the word. And while that may not make Thomas the ultimate representative for the London gay scene at the time – or even the York gay scene – it makes him a really good rep for people like me, who aren’t connected, in a world where the people with spot on gaydar are becoming the norm in fictional representations, and funny thing, I appreciate that.  It’s nice to see someone who is, more or less, the way I’d be if I’d grown up in an unsafe environment rather than my so-supportive-no-one-believes-it’s-real household.

#downton abbey #thomas barrow #character meta #let's see how long it takes me to regret this entire post and delete it #ignorant outlier perspective

[concubuck]

two guys going 🙃 and being awkward (9/10/21 chat log)

A conversation between Alastor/Buck (hi there) and Alastor/Alexa (@furby-organist/@killstreaming). So remember when Alexa said “you should turn your junk into a fan” and Buck said “one time i turned my junk into a garbage disposal wanna see” and an hour later Alexa went “I can’t believe I told my alternate to turn his junk into a fan” and Buck went “I can’t believe I showed my alternate my garbage disposal junk”? In a stunning and unprecedented display of mutual emotional maturity, they decide to mutually apologize instead of silently pretend it never happened.

concubuck

"Hi! Hello, am I reaching Alastor? This is your alternate speaking! The one that, uh..." AWKWARD PAUSE. "... The one from last night!" That was the only non-horrible way to identify himself, wasn't it.

killstreaming

Oh. Oh God. Alexa wanted to die significantly less today than he wanted to die last night after the post-clown clarity hit, but the feeling immediately SPIKED. Oh no. (Keep calm.) “Hi! Hello, alternate! Yes, speaking! What can I do for you?” He’s going to get chewed out, he knows it.

concubuck

Oh he answered. Buck had been braced to spend five minutes talking to dead air and never be sure if his alternate was silently listening or just not home. He sort of thinks this might be worse?

"Yes? Well!" Clears his throat. "I thought I ought to address last night before it festers. You see, I, uh..." A nervous pause; and then he sighs. "I—okay, look. Cards on the table: I haven't been human for several years. I'm doing a poor job of remembering human etiquette. Even the basic things, like 'don't send an unsolicited film starring your genitalia to a near stranger.' So—I—wanted to apologize for driving you to drink yourself to sleep."

killstreaming

Oh god, they were talking about last night. /Oh./ He wasn’t being chewed out. “I see. Alright. First and foremost, I appreciate you reaching out.” That meant /Alexa/ didn’t have to reach out. “Understandable and fair on all counts, apology accepted. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re entirely in the wrong here. What I’ll /mostly/ take you to task for is putting me in a position where I’d have had to deal with the awkwardness of declining /publicly/. But ultimately, moot point.”

“It was on topic, though, wasn’t it? I /started/ it, and for that, I owe /you/ an apology. I shouldn’t have roped you into that conversation to begin with. Admittedly, this sort of absurd lewd banter has become the norm on hotel grounds -- but with /friends I’ve known for a while/. I don’t know you well enough to bring up your genitalia, absurdist meem or not. I was out of line, and I apologize. I didn’t drink because of /you/. I wanted to exit consciousness upon realizing my social ineptitude, for which I have no excuse, as I’m currently human. So.”

concubuck

Apology accepted. Silent BIG sigh of relief. "Yes, I—I do recognize I put you in a no win situation, there. Modern etiquette hasn't yet provided us with a gentlemanly way of saying 'no, sir, I do NOT want to see your #### live and in color!'"

HE was owed an apology? He blinked in bewilderment, doing several rounds of mental gymnastics before he worked out WHY. "Oh! Oh. Yes, that's—right—well, I— Well that's—there you have it, just what I was saying about the difference between succubi and humans. It never even dawned upon me that the subject matter was unusual. In fact, I'm /sure/ I thought something to myself like 'oh! Dismemberment! How refreshing, a conversation that isn't sexual.'" Hi don't mind that slight edge of hysteria to his laughter, it's barely noticeable, hardly there, really. "Well—apology accepted, naturally. No damage was done, didn't even chip the paint."

killstreaming

“Pff--” Alexa cackled loudly, one hand uselessly covering his mouth. Live and in color, indeed. Alright, point made, looked like he and Buck were on the same page. “In retrospect, tuning in with no hesitation wasn’t the most grandiose display of decorum.” /Was/ there a correct way to have handled that? Alexa didn’t think so, so, no apology offered.

It was Alexa’s turn to internally sigh of relief. Good, he hadn’t irreparably weirded Buck out. “Hah, alright! I’m not entitely familiar with succubus etiquette, but I’m glad to hear it cast me in a better light than I otherwise would’ve been!” Oh, wheeze. “Hah, what people are into has never ceased to amaze me. Dismemberment, really. But hey-- I’m fine to say, no harm, no foul. I’m good if you’re good.”

concubuck

"... Mm. Perhaps." Tuning in with no hesitation was, in fact, exactly what he hoped and needed people to do. The suggesting that /watching what he offered to be watched/ was somehow inherently indecorous, as though to consume his content was an act of self-degradation... He shifted uncomfortably and tried to remember whether or not he would have agreed with his alternate back when he was human.

(Did it really matter? Wasn't it a succubus's duty to be a corruptive force? If gazing upon him made people a little dirtier, he was doing his job, right? He told himself that and tried to ignore how uneasy he felt in his skin.)

"It's less accurate to say succubi have etiquette around the topic and more accurate to say they have a near complete lack of barriers or standards. The mere fact I prefer not to cuss on air marks me out as queerly prudish." A rueful laugh. "No harm, no foul."

killstreaming

Good golly, Alexa, how do you eat when you’ve got your foot in your mouth so frequently? And he doesn’t even know this time! He’d intended to strictly critique /himself/, but it did imply something about the person offering, didn’t it? To make matters worse, he was taking Buck’s silence as judgment for being prudish about the matter.

Aaand then he wasn’t. Good, okay, they were fine, he really had to stop getting in his own head. “So you’re telling me it’s absolutely /lawless/ out there!” Dramatic hands to his cheeks. “Humans aren’t that much different -- they find me prudish for it as well. Anyway, my interactions with succubi have been largely business to this point, so I have much to learn about social norms.” There, a shield in case he shows his ass in the future.

concubuck

"Oh, succubi don't have much in the way of social norms worth learning." Which was probably a grave disservice to succubi for him to say, but he wasn't currently feeling very charitable to his own state of existence. "I interact with humans to interact with humans. Don't let me get out of line."

killstreaming

“Right, well.” And /that/ conversational door had been shut in his face. His smile thinned into a tight V. “Understood. Call me out if I’m out of line as well.” (He’d like to think his excuse is that he’s barely resocialized, but he doesn’t think it holds much water.)

concubuck

"I doubt you will be, but—yes. Of course."

He realized, a bit too late, that he'd come across as more dismissive than he'd intended to. He ought to offer /something/ more. "The thing is just that there is, as far as I can tell, nothing taboo to say among succubi. If a complete stranger says 'hi, how are you' and the other replies 'I caught something from this b##### and now my c### itches like a mother####er," of the two, the only one that said something surprising is the one who asked how the other is. So, there's—there's very little that /can/ be said wrong. Actions, /physical/ actions, can cross the line, but words are weightless. Almost meaningless, even."

killstreaming

“I-- pfft.” Buck’s sample of succubus dialogue threw Alexa off for a bit, he hadn’t been expecting that. Okay, give him a second, maybe you can hear him stifle another laugh.

“Really! No boundaries around oversharing whatsoever! Fascinating, and oddly reassuring! It’s not even that lax on hotel grounds!” And, well, Buck had gotten a glimpse of how wild those could get. “Look --all cards on the table, right?-- people think they can talk to my husband every which way because of his profession. Forgive me if I kick myself too easily over doing the same; it’s not a critique of succubus standards.”

concubuck

"Very few boundaries, at any rate. Personally, I think their could stand to be a few more. But when you're walking down the street, some oversexed pedestrian says 'hey there succuc###, wanna s### off my c###?' and you find yourself thinking 'do I have enough time for that?' instead of the more reasonable 'should I decapitate him or just give him a swift kick,' well... At that point you have to concede that the standards you think you should have and the standards you actually have no longer overlap, don't you?"

Which was a far more horrifying thing than he'd intended to admit. So he hurried on, "So—anyway, I appreciate the gentlemanly inclination; but don't beat yourself up too much over a comment that didn't even faze me, won't you? I'd hate for my own alternate to suffer needlessly on my behalf!"

killstreaming

Alexa wasn’t /judging/ Buck -- by what standards does one judge an entire other species & their cultural norms? it is what it is, -- but the divide between them was beginning to feel a bit more /present/. And did he want to hear about an acquaintance contemplating blowing a pedestrian? Not really, but he’d chalk it up to aforementioned cultural norm. He laughed to shake it off, and hoped it didn’t come out too awkward.

“Alright, alright, fair enough! Point taken. Don’t worry about me, then. And /you/ don’t beat yourself up either, alright? I don’t have much reassurance to offer other than that it takes a /lot/ to genuinely offend me, and I’d like to think I’m charitable regarding cultural differences.” He fidgeted, hoping he hadn’t said anything wrong. “I mean, because I /would/ like to keep getting to know you.” Did that sound like a come-on? If that came off like a come-on, he’d eat his whole foot. (The other one, the one he /hasn’t/ already stuck in his mouth.)

concubuck

It kind of did sound like a come on. But of the two Alastors who had watched his video, this was the one who HADN'T offered to fist him, and on top of that Buck didn't WANT it to be a come on, so he was going to take it on faith that it wasn't. "And I'd certainly like to keep getting to know you!" ... He hoped THAT didn't sound like a come on. "Ideally with less amateur pornography this time around."

killstreaming

Alexa almost made that stupid joke about waiting until the second date for that sort of thing (third if he's feeling REALLY old-fashioned), but no. Buck wasn't /in/ on the fact that Alexa was resigned from dating altogether. /That/ would be taken as a come-on.

"Ha! Sure, fair, sounds good. Now, I don't know how you feel about coffee, but if you'd ever like to meet for a cup, offer's on the table." Just whenever was good. (Something something morning afters are only awkward if you make them awkward, let me be a gentleman and handle breakfast -- it made more sense in his head. It was funny in his head. But really, a friendly coffee chat sometime would be nice.)

concubuck

"I'm practically powered by the stuff! Coffee sometime sounds delightful." And then, just because that really did sound like it could be a date, he added, "And since you're a married man, I'm going to trust that it's /only/ going to be coffee!" Little lighthearted joke—what's a marriage worth in hell with a succubus around?—but by God, he was determined to meet ONE alternate in person and keep it platonic.

killstreaming

"Good, that seems to be one thing we all have in common!" Coffee fiends, the herd of them.

This was probably /not/ the time to 'actually, it's an open marriage', oh well, Buck was just going to have to get blindsided next time Alexa wilded on voxblr. "Haha! Yes, yes, that's all, just a friendly chat over coffee. Unless the bakery items catch my eye -- then it's over coffee /and/ a croissant." Scandalous. Hey, some of those places made a mean pain au chocolat.

concubuck

"Well, who am I to say no to a croissant!" Okay, this was okay, they'd navigated this mess successfully and were coming out of it on the same page. Hah. Good. Good job, team.

killstreaming

"Aha! I’ll be looking forward to it. Just reach out whenever's good.” Well done, everyone. Crisis very much averted! The deersasters are going to be okay.

#furbyorganist #killstreaming #chat log

[jokers-of-the-impractical]

Brian Quinn Mini Series “One and Only” Part 2 of 3

(A/N: Hey guys! I hope you’re enjoying this series so far! This part is inspired by “One and Only” by Adele. Part 1 can be found here. Part 3 will be out hopefully soon!)

Word Count: 2200ish?

This past year and half with Brian had been a total romantic whirlwind. It seemed like a total dream, your relationship was truly amazing. You were so comfortable with each other right away, he knew all of your secrets, and you knew his. A month after the live show where he asked out on a date, you two were an official item. By that time the fans already knew who you were from a recording of that night going viral in the fandom. You and Brian were quite surprised by how quickly the fans took to you as well, but that was partially due to the other jokers and their girls always raving about you and the relationship. Plus Brian and the others would swoop in for protection when someone decided to be not so nice.

Speaking of the guys, your friendships with them were amazing too. Each bond with the guys was completely unique and special. Each one had its common interests, shared activities, and inside jokes too. Since that night in the diner the laughs, support, and fun with them had not stopped. At least once a month you and Brian were at one of their houses with the rest of the gang for dinner, you always counted down the hours of the work day when these were taking place. And Bessy and Melyssa were some of your closest friends now. All the time when the guys were off they were put on babysitting duty so you three could hang out and have some girl time. When you girls get together the possibilities are endless! Shopping, brunch, beach day, even a girl’s trip was currently in the works. Just the other day the guys had a last minute segment to film so the girls took the opportunity and decided to take you to go get mani-pedis together after work.

On a date at a trendy and snazzy new restaurant in the city where you two spent celebrating three months together you both said I love you for the first time. Both of you were so nervous, then when the moment was right, you jinxed each other by saying it at the same time. By six months of dating during a late night movie marathon at his place after asking for the last two weeks for you to bring your cat over for playdates all the time, he asked you to move in with him and presented you with a key. You squealed and hugged him so tightly you were sure he was going to snap in half. You were also so supportive of one another when it came to work. All the time you were promoting the show, his podcasts, and his beer brand. You had become a social media fanatic when it came to supporting him and his many ventures. Q had made it a habit of visiting your classroom, on a few occasions he brought the other jokers with him too. You had to admit that seeing your boyfriend surrounded by your students and playing with them made your heart melt. He had the perfect balance of toughness, funniness, and nurturing, when he interacted with them. He had even told you he had begun to love being around children more and more when he started being a frequent visitor in your classroom.

Not long after your one year anniversary, Brain took you to meet his family for the first time and you clicked with them instantly, just as much when Brian met your parents eight months into the relationship, but you knew that they’d love him long before they got to meet. One moment you were talking with his dad and brothers about sports, and the next you were exchanging baking ideas and recipes with his mom.  Now visiting his parents all the time was the norm. Two weekends ago you were over at their house for a big cookout when Carol brought you into the kitchen and you two shared a really emotional and meaningful heartfelt conversation. She hugged you extra tight and told how much she adored you and told that she thought you and Brian were perfect for each other. She said she saw you like a daughter and was so happy that you made her son feel love again. Then she pulled away and gently held your arms and began to tear up when she admitted to you that since you two had begun dating she was thrilled that things didn't work out between him and his ex fiancé, of course she hated the pain the situation put him through, no parent would wish anything like that on their child, but not that long ago he confessed to her on the phone and she couldn't agree more that he was willing to go through that amount of heartache a thousand times if it meant that he got to be with you, because you meant that much to him. Now it was your turn to have tears in your eyes and you hugged her tightly again. As your conversation was nearing its end Q came in to find you and heard the tail end of the conversation, when he came into view he was looking at you super nervously. You headed back outside and he stayed in for a moment to talk to his mom, all you heard before stepping outside was something about not yet and not to ruin it.

Since that weird encounter at the cookout, Bri has been acting all jittery. Any time there was time to relax just the two of you, he would always suggest you do something or go out. It was a little concerning, usually if you guys disagreed or upset the other you would talk it out and fix it as soon as possible. But today was a date you both had been planning for the past month so you figured you would time to talk to him about it sometime today. You got out of bed and left your cat and Brooklyn sleeping on the bed. You trudged downstairs to see Q already dressed and sitting on the couch with Benjamin and Chessie with a cup of tea. You wrapped your arms around him and planted a kiss on his cheek, with sleepiness still in your voice.

“Mmm Good Morning Baby.” Q lifted up his arms to touch yours and leaned his head to plant a kiss on your cheek and then look at you.

“Morning my love. Do you want something to eat before we go? I already have coffee ready and waiting for you too.” He handed you your favorite mug from the coffee table filled with coffee just the way you liked it. You thought it over for a moment while you took a few sips of the coffee.

“Nah I’m good. I’ll just have this while I go and get ready.”

“Okay sounds good to me. I’m ready when you are, but don’t rush. Also, I picked out an outfit for you to wear today.” You smiled when he told you that, every so often he would do this for your dates and it would always make you smile. You headed back upstairs and sure enough your chiffon floral maxi dress and light denim jacket was waiting for you in the front of your closet. You love that the outfit he picked worked so well the manicure from the other day. You then decided to do a no-makeup makeup look topped off with your favorite pink lipstick, then while sipping your coffee, you pinned a bit of your hair back and left the rest down naturally. After your hair and makeup was done and slipped into your outfit, you saw your nude strappy sandals, diamond stud earrings, and off-white cross body bag waiting on the desk chair for you. You went to meet Bri downstairs when you were done getting ready to see him still being kinda weird, and you left for the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Ever since you binge watched Gossip Girl you had become enamored with the MET, you used to go here all the time and Brian knew that. Sometimes you would even just sit on the steps and people watch on days you were in the city. You went in and Q paid for both of your tickets. You spent the whole day wandering around going from exhibit to exhibit and showing him all of your favorite pieces. After what seemed like hours and were getting ready to head out, you figured now would be the right time to finally talk to Brian about why he had been acting so odd lately. You took in a quick yet deep breath and decided to get it over with.

“Hey Bri?” You could hear the nervousness in your voice, and he must have heard it too by the way you noticed him tense up and slowly turn away from the painting he was looking at to be facing you. It almost seems like he’s shaking.

“Uh, yes Y/N?” You let out another breath as you were unsure of where this conversation might lead since you have never seen him act like this.

“Are you okay? Ever since the cookout you’ve been acting pretty weird.”

“I have?”

“Yeah you have, and I was thinking maybe it was because you heard what your mom said to me. But, I want you to know that I feel the same way, I would have dealt with Dean tons more if it meant I got to be with you, that’s honestly how much I love you.” As soon as you finished, he let out a deep sigh of relief and was now smiling.

  “Y/N, I am fine I promise, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. But I’m glad you told me that, it means so much to me. How about we head home and order some takeout yeah?”  You smiled looking deep into his gorgeous dark eyes and nodded.

You walked your way back through the museum and once you both got outside you saw a section of the MET steps had been blocked off and was filled with red roses. You were in awe of this beautiful little scene that you didn’t realize Q was dragging you into this small area. Then all of the sudden there you were, holding hands with Brian facing you in the middle of all of these dozens of roses. Then Brian took a deep breath and began in the most gentle and sweet voice, almost like the night you met.

“Y/N, these past eighteen months have been pure heaven for me. From the moment I saw you I knew I was laying my eyes upon the most beautiful woman in the world, and then to know you admired me even a tenth of the way I already admired you when I read your letter made think I may actually have a shot with you, even though I was so unworthy of this angel before me.” You let out a giggle as he said that, and the gears in your head started turning, why is he being super romantic after being really weird and nervous? “Then I really got to know you and found out we had so much in common, and you helped become an even better version of myself, and I hope I do the same for you. The reason I’ve been so weird since the cookout, is because I didn’t want my mom to ruin this surprise. And I’ve been so nervous because… well...” What surprise? It was then it finally clicked as Brian let go of your hand and got down on knee, the manicure, the weirdness, the special date, the roses, everything! You felt your eyes well up with tears, and your hands flew to your mouth in shock, he was proposing! He pulled a small wooden box out of his pocket and opened it to show a gold ornate banded ring with an Emerald cut diamond in the middle with a small baguette diamond on each side as well. It was the most magnificent ring you had ever seen.

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, would you be willing to spend the rest of your life with me, and do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Now the tears were starting to stream down your face and a smile permanently was plastered on your face. You heard cameras clicking and lights flashing around you as you took in this surreal moment with the love of your life.

“Yes Brian, of course I will marry you!” With that he put the ring on your finger and stood up to embrace you and placed a delicate kiss on your lips as cheers erupted from the small crowd that had gathered around you. You looked over to see photographers taking photos of the priceless moment, and your family that Brian must have flown in for the occasion were all thrilled with Bessy and Melyssa standing with them smiling as well. Then you both heard a loud and dramatic voice ring through a megaphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen! Make way for the happy couple who is now engaged!” You and Q looked over to see Joe holding a megaphone and Sal and Murr with him too. You and your now fiancé both giggled at the hilarious touch they added to this moment, realizing they must have been the ones to set it u while you both were inside. You looked back and Brian you knew that you were both excited to spend the rest of your life together, just you, and your one and only.

#Brian Q Quinn #brian quinn imagine #brian quinn #celebrity crush imagine #impractical jokers imagine #impractical jokers

[lys-lilac]

Washed over by Jealousy

A/N: The original work and the characters concept belong to Voltage Inc. The fanfiction and the character Hinata Arata is a work by me. Story taken is Romance MD: Always on Call. 

Part(1/2)

[my lines will be like this in between]

Intro: Just when you think you are getting over the fact that Dr. Kasumi belongs only to you, and when everything is going well, the uneasy feelings of yours now seem to be reciprocated. It’s now the turn of Dr. Kasumi to get jealous for you. How will you feel when you come to know that the country’s top cardiovascular surgeon is so much head over heels for you that he is infatuated? 

[Present night: Kasumi’s house]

MC: Let me make some coffee.

Kasumi: Sure.

Kyogoku: Make sure it’s of proper quality. And don’t blow the kitchen.

MC: Even after I serve coffee every other day...

It has become a norm for me, Kasumi and Kyogoku to discuss new medical papers or any other research paper related to new diseases every week. If it’s held at my home, then we must have arrived direct from the hospital. So the other two leave after the discussion to ensure that I am getting enough rest. This week’s discussion was in Kasumi’s house, since we all left early from the hospital. After having the delicious dinner prepared by Kyogoku, I suggest coffee to make ourselves more alert during the talk. 

*ring-ring*

As I was making coffee, my phone starts to ring. Both the boys become concerned, looking at me, thinking it was an emergency call. Since it’s an unknown number and thinking the same as both of them, I answer without delay. 

MC: Yes, this is Dr. MC. What can I help wi-

Unknown: I am having a problem of inability to reach a journal junkie’s head for a while now...

MC: This voice... Hinata?!

Unknown: What took you so long to recognize, of course it’s me.

MC: You didn’t even say anything before calling, how could I have heard your voice?

Shaking my head to both of them in disapproval to nothing serious, I continue talking to Hinata. He and I have been in touch via messages, but I never thought he would call me. 

MC: So, why did you call today so suddenly? Don’t say me you became so engrossed in music that you can’t move yourself now, and have turned into a musical statue...

Hinata: Oh, shut up. 

Hinata: I wanted to give you a surprise, so called you.

MC: I am hanging up-

Hinata: Hey wait! I have not even started yet! 

MC: Go on.

Hinata: Do you have some free time this Sunday?

MC: Hmm, if I exclude the only operation that’s in the morning, then yes.

Hinata: Perfect! Check your mailbox now.

MC: I am not at home now. But, I will do when I get home. 

Hinata: You, always taking the mood down. Anyway, let me reveal it to you. You are coming to my concert this Sunday!

MC: What?!!

Hinata and I both studied in high school together and were the best of friends. Whenever I felt stressed, he always heard me out, and played his guitar to soothe me. 

[Flashback]

MC: Hinata, you play the guitar so well, and even have a soothing voice. What do you want to become when you grow up?

Hinata: Take a guess.

MC: Hmm, if you are going to become a job-person someday, you might lose your talent.... Ah, then how will I hear your voice?

Hinata: You dummy. I want to become... no, I will become a singer someday.

MC: Wow, that’s really cool! Then, can I come see your concert?

Hinata: Of course, you will always be invited first, as you are my best friend!

MC: Yay!!!

[Flashback ends]

When Hinata debuted, I went to see his concert. And, he was amazing. Till the present day, he has garnered a huge audience and a lot of fans. Since his debut was 2 years ago, I never visited him or met him once till that day, due to my busy schedule.

Hinata: Hello hello?

MC: Ah, yes! I will be happy to!

Hinata: I have sent you a couple of tickets, so make sure to bring all your handsome surgeons with you! I also want to give them a good time relaxing.

MC: Sure, I will try to, but liste-

Hinata: Alright, so Hinata, over and out!

MC: Hey wait, you!

*beep*

Hinata cuts the call just after listening to my conversation. I haven’t yet revealed to him that Kasumi and I both are dating. Oh well, I guess I will do that when I see him at the concert. Thinking it, I return to my seat with the tray of 3 cups of coffee.

Kyogoku: You sure do know how to waste our time.

MC: It’s not like that! I just got connected to an old friend, so talk got longer.

Kyogoku: Hinata Arata, a singer who just debuted two years ago, and has won the interests of many companies worldwide. What exactly were you talking to the superstar, being your friend and all?

Kasumi: ...

Somehow, Kasumi seems completely silent. Maybe he is interested to listen to full talk rather than interrupting?

MC: Actually, Hinata and I were high school friends. And since it has been two years since he debuted and my visit to his performance, he wants all of us to visit his concert this Sunday. Are you all free?

Kyogoku: What?

MC: Please!

Kyogoku: Even though I wanted to go to ensure that you act as a repellant for Kasumi, but I have an operation scheduled that day. So, you two should go.

MC: Alright, but what about others? 

Kyogoku: Do you think they will want to interfere in a date? Have you really left your brain somewhere?

MC: Da-date... You mean only me and Kasumi, and none of you?

Kyogoku: Huh... I am leaving. I can’t concentrate further. 

MC: Ok, wishing you good night.

Kyogoku: Night.

As I see off Kyogoku, I realize that I haven’t got confirmation from the main person till now. I return back to study and see Kasumi reading a journal from his tablet.

MC: Kasumi...

Kasumi: Hm?

MC: Are you ok, if we go to Hinata’s concert? I really want to go, but if only you accompany me. 

Kasumi: MC.

MC: Yes?

Kasumi sets his tablet down, and takes a seat beside me. He cups my face with his hands with a smile on his face.

Kasumi: As long as you are happy, I will go with you.

MC: Thank you so much!!

I say to him as I bury myself in his chest. Sometimes, I can’t even believe myself that I got an angel like him as my boyfriend. It makes me so happy to stay by his side. I can listen his clear heartbeats and can smell his sweet scent. Stopping our studies there, we both decide to sleep.

[Afternoon: Concert dome]

[Random picture]

MC: Woah, it’s so close to the stage!

Kasumi: Yeah.

The seats that Hinata booked for us are VIP ones. View of the stage from the place is perfect. Since all the guys turned us down as Kyogoku said, both of us end up in the hall at last.

MC: Oh, come to think of it, I never asked you about which types of songs you like. 

Kasumi: I prefer classics, like soft piano, or anything like that.

MC: Yeah! I noticed the other day when a patient asked to put some piano music for his surgery, that you were humming.

MC: Apparently, he got attracted to your voice. And of course, why not, that voice of yours is literally a tranquilizer! Ah, even those lectures of yours-

As I trail off, a shadow comes close to me. Kasumi comes close to me and whispers in my ear-

Kasumi: That is only reserved for you.

MC: !

Oh. God. That voice, a little raspy and baritone, lingers in my mind. It’s so appealing that I can literally melt. As I was thinking this, a soft kiss lands on my cheek, and he intertwines his hands with mine. Thanks to the dim light, my reddened ears and cheeks are not visible to him.

But, for some reason, I feel eyes on us. Not ‘us’, but probably on ‘Kasumi’. Girls seated just beside me start to ask one by one.

Girl 1: Hey hey, is he your friend? 

Girl 2: Mind introducing him to us?

Girl 3: He is literally a god! How is he so beautiful?

MC: Uhh, he is my-

My words are cut short as they ignore me and approach Kasumi. What?! Even here, can’t they recognize this national treasure? Of course, he is always in formal wear whenever he appears on TV and magazines, but only his casual style of dressing here can’t hide his beauty! Maybe the lighting?

Girl 1: The seats beside you are empty, so can we sit there?

Girl 2: You are so handsome~

Girl 3: We are alone in the concert, so we will be happy if you hang out with-

Ah stooopppp!!!!

MC: HE IS MY BOYFRIEND!!! Who do you think you are hitting on?!

Kasumi: She is right.

I glare at them while I grasp the arms of Kasumi and lean my cheeks on his shoulders. 

Girl 2: Wait, this voice... 

Girl 3: Dr. Kasumi Toshiki??!!

MC: You realize it now?

Girl 1: And you are, Dr. MC?

Kasumi: Mind if we enjoy our date by ourselves?

MC: Girls, keep your voice down. You will disturb ever- wait wha?

I am surprised that Kasumi is handling the situation so calmly and even is direct with them to such an extent. He is as cool as a cucumber, no doubt, but declaring this with a straight face makes me a little bit shy. Just then, Kasumi shakes our intertwined hands in front of them. Without any further word, they return to their seat.

MC: Yes! Now I can proudly say to Dr. Kyogoku that I protected you! That guy always takes advantage of me by saying this... I will beat him this time!

Kasumi: Pfft...

MC: Hey, why are you laughing? My heart was literally going a mile per beat! 

Kasumi: I am just amazed that my MC is becoming bolder day by day.

MC: Now stop there...

As I speak, the announcement of starting of the concert goes, bringing our conversation to stop there.

The spotlights fall on the center of the stage. Amidst a huge ocean of cheers, the star takes the spot. Holding a guitar and headset mic on his face, Hinata smiles at the crowd. Suddenly, he looks at me and gives a little wave with his hands. That makes me a little surprised.

Hinata: Thank you everyone for making time out of their busy schedule and for coming to my concert! I will make sure to make you all re-energized! Shall we start?

All: Yeah!!!!

The power that Hinata has with his singing and handling the audience is the main reason why he attracts many people. He never lets any fan feel bored. 

He starts with a familiar song. That’s... that’s the song he always played for me in school! Unknown to me, tears well up in my eyes. Following the song, he sings many songs, sometimes stopping in between and talking between the audience. The concert is so enthralling that without realizing, 3 hours pass so fast. All the time, with a light stick, I cheer him or wave my light stick and sing along with him.

After the concert, both Kasumi and I prepare to drop by the hospital to check the post-OP conditions of some patients. 

[Evening: In the car]

As Kasumi drives us to the hospital, the silence between us makes me feel awkward. So, I decide to start up a conversation.

MC: So, how was the concert, Kasumi?

Kasumi: ...

MC: Kasumi?

Kasumi: Hm? Oh, it was good.

Dr. Kasumi, of all people is giving a late response? What is it that he is thinking about? I have never seen him like that.

MC: Right, I should give you something as a thank-you gift for accepting my request. Anything in my limit, you can ask.

Kasumi: Oh?

As he steps on the breaks at the red light, he takes off his seatbelt, leans over and presses his lips onto mine. 

MC: ---!

Those tender lips, I can never get enough of them. His silky hair brushes against my cheek, making it feel warm. Savoring the moment, I close my eyes. After who knows how long, he reluctantly separates and put his forehead over mine. 

Kasumi: This is more than enough. But-

MC: But?

A teasing look forms on his face.

Kasumi: I want more, later.

MC: Wha?

Kasumi: What, are you disagreeing?

MC: No, I mean, yeah... err..

Kasumi: Let’s go.

The signal turns green at the same time, and we both leave for the hospital.

~

Ah, this is making me feel so awkward!! I mean, I have never worked on a super tease and jealous Kasumi before. Let me know what you think, and stay tuned for the next part. Warning, brace yourselves, cause that is going to be even more exciting!

Continue to Part 2

#romance md #romance md: always on call #toshiki kasumi #sentaro kyogoku #eicu #voltage inc #love 365 #100恋+ #100シーンの恋+ #i need to read the initial special stories of him after this #because I will be spoiled if I don't #I need his lectures #after the completion of the story #lys's writings

[caffeinetheory]

So what if they had met at a gala Roy with Queen and Marinette with Jagged and like they each of this bad impression of each other such as "Oh, he's the spoiled rich kid"or that"she's a total diva who would do anything to do famous" or something like that. But then when both the to like ditch the party or go somewhere not as bad as the main room and end up meeting and talking and becoming friends and then later dating. Then Lila goes on and on that she's dating Roy but that fails as he shows up.

Okay so this is my first ask/prompt thing but I loved it and I hope it’s good

Thanks to the people in the group chat for the encouragement, I really appreciate it <3

Here goes nothing, hope you like what I ended up writting

(pacing maybe a little fast, oops)

///

She didn’t want to be here, Mari only came because she ran out of excuses to not go to a gala with Jagged. Don’t get her wrong, she loves her honorary uncle but being in the spotlight was not something Marinette enjoyed, Ladybug was more than enough for her thank you very much.

So here she was sipping champagne, which she shouldn’t be but that’s for another time, hugging the wall trying to not stand out with all of her will power. Despite her best efforts Jagged could be heard loudly boating about his favorite designer and talking about how she made his and Penny’s outfits as well as her own. Knowing he was about to drag people around to show her off she decided to bite the bullet and pushed herself off the wall and walked over to him and what looked like a rich blonde businessman and another person around her ae that clearly didn’t want to be here.

The floor length rose pink dress shined in the light as she made her way over to Jagged. The intricate flowers becoming seen as she moved, and her hair flowing behind her as she walked. She commanded the room with confidence as she walked, a perk of being Ladybug for so long, long gone was the overly shy pre-teen and now stood tall legal adult. The shear back of her dress exposed small scars from years of fighting but no one would notice as her over all beauty distracted from the clear battle scars dancing across her skin.

She came to a stop next to Jagged placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, “I know you want to tell everyone about me, but I could hear you from across the ballroom,” rubbing his neck in slight embarrassment Jagged shared a smile with her then to the gentleman he was talking with. “Mari, how nice of you to finally join us, I’ve been trying to get her to come to one of these for years, this is Oliver Queen and his ward Roy Harper,” anyone could tell how proud of the person she had become with his enthusiasm.

Shaking Oliver’s hand politely Mari turned to shake Roy’s only yo be met with a badly hidden scoff and rough handshake in return. ‘Spoiled rich kid with everything handed to him, lovely. Exactly why i tried to avoid these things’ was all that went through her head as she watched the red-head look anywhere but at her or the conversation he was begrudgingly in. ‘Great another person I’m going to have to pretend to tolerate because of the bs that is plesanties’

“So did you really make all three of your outfits?” Oliver was trying to make conversation, someone Roy’s age could possibly do him some good. Given that her deminr became less forced and Marinette seemed to light up the room even more he figures he picked the right thing to ask. “Yes! I’ve been designing for as long as I can remember. It is one of the few constants in my life, and Jagged here,” she gestures in his direction her enthusiasm clear to anyone, “Has insisted that I keep making him things. At first I thought he was just being nice but finding out he was the one that got Clara to look into my stuff is something I can't thank him enough for.”

“Anything for my rock and roll niece,” Jagged playfully ruffles her hair and she swats at his hands, this was a normal thing and Mari was clearly more at ease now that she was able to talk about her interests. She went on for a bit longer, Roy had left under the guise of getting something to drink and snuck off to one of the side rooms to get out of the stuff “party”. Mari left the pair of influential men saying she needed to get off her feet, they let her go and she ended up ducking into the very room that Roy was settled in.

Marinette’s huff of relief after closing the door and leaning against it made Roy snap his attention to the door. “I can’t wait for this to be over,” she looked at her phone to check the time, her heels already in her hand, “Still two more hours till I can ditch.” rolling her eyes, she looked up finally noticing the red-head and a startled sound involuntarily left her, ‘lovely rich boy is here’ she tuned to leave the room when his cough made her look in Roy’s direction. “You trying to escape too?” a sheepish smile played on his lips, his shaggy red hair hung loosely as he tilted his head toward her. Hesitantly she walked to the table across from the one he is sitting on to sit on herself.

“You could say that. Not really a fan of the spotlight,” she replies hesitantly, though his small laugh in return helps loosen her up. “That makes two of us, had to force me” his posture is loose, no longer as stiff. The two ended up spend the next few hours just ranting about how stuffy galas are and how they’d rather be anywhere else. They got to know each other so when both left the room with smiles and a small paper the guardians they came with, had knowing smiles, their plan had worked.

The rest of the month while Marinette was in Star City she was with Roy. Rumors of the two dating where everywhere by the end of the first week. Everywhere the two visited seemed to radiate happiness as the pair enjoyed the other’s company. No one had seen either so happy in a few years. Late night coffee ‘dates’ and soft laughter had become the norm so quickly that when Mari had to go back to Paris everything felt a little too quiet and dull.

‘I made it back, guess I got to accept the chaos again’

‘Miss me that much already ;)’

‘Oh shut it you dork’

Collapsing on her bed Mari’s smile since the gala still hadn’t falutlered. She still had two weeks before she had to go back to class but she didn’t want to think about that yet. Savor the moment of happiness she had while she could...that couldn’t last long could it? It never did, an Akuma alert went off and Ladybug was swiftly on the scene.

“I’m glad to see you’re back M’Lady”

“Good to see you too Kitty, but I just got back, any idea what’s going on”

“Seems like a tourist who missed their reservations”

“Ok sweet, this should be a piece of cake,” and it was they were done in less than 10 minutes. “Come on M’Lady we have a few more that need to be taken care of,” leading Ladybug the partners went to the Effilé Tower so she could purify the other Akumas that had happened while she was gone.

“Thank you Kitty, I appreciate the break.” There were maybe 20 glass jars and only 16 or so butterflies. They had made a system just in case Ladybug wasn’t in Paris and didn’t require to come back all the time. “It’s what a purr-ncess deserves isn’t it, everyone should get a break even you Mari.” “What better sibling could I ask for? Hang out tomorrow? It’s been awhile since I destroyed you in Mécha Strike.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

By the time Marinette woke up it was close to 11 and it was to light tapping on her trap door, what sounded like a ‘come in’ left her lips as she went around her room to look presentable. Adrian came into her room, some food on a plate and a Cheshire like smile, “Sooo, how was the states? Make any new ‘friends’ while there?” His testing tone made it clear she couldn’t get out of it.

The next two days were spent together catching up on what they had done and Adrian getting all the details about a certain red-head. “Ok so maybe I like him but we both know how bad my track record is?” Mari’s exasperation was clear, she had confessed to Adrian before they knew who was behind the mask and he came out as gay to her. She ended up being what got him and Luka together, then Kagami and Cholé, we don’t mention that confession. “I don’t know princess, you might actually have a chance,” he had a knowing smile, too knowing, something was up. Pushing away the thought, “You’re just a helpless romantic,” they playfully shoved each other as they were heading back to the bakery after a day just walking around.

Texting Roy and hanging out with her small team was all she had done when she had done when she got back so walking into the classroom to cold stares had thrown her for a moment. Her reality hit her like a ton of bricks but it didn’t hurt as much as it used to, she had people who cared about her and people she cared about. Marinette took her seat in the back of the class with Cholé and Adrian. The trio had been forced to the back but enjoyed the freedom it let them have.

The door slammed open and one Lila Rossi had walked in laughing loudly to Alya, no doubt talking about ‘what an amazing summer’ she had, the trio just rolled their eyes and went back to their phones.

“You texting him again, I swear you are always texting him,” Adrian joked seeing Mari ignore the world, the only thing she cared about being her screen.

“I mean you know me so well,” rolling her eyes at his antics, “what else am I supposed to do? Listen to ‘something that totally happened guys I don’t know why you don’t believe me’,” her sarcasm was palpable.

“I mean this time you might care, it’s about some boy toy, a Queen I think,” Cholé supplied to the conversation muffling a laugh as Mari immediately snapped her attention to the girl in the front of the class.

“You have got to be kidding me, she can’t be that dumb can she.”

“Oh you know she can and will be”

The rest of the week was spent with Lila telling the class about how amazing and put together Robert was, she couldn’t even get his name right!!! Mari was a little pissed but it wasn’t worth it, she knew the real Roy and he may be a disaster incarnée but he was hers. Did she really just think that? Damn Adrian was really rubbing off on her.

Two weeks later when Adrian told her to wear red and black, and to make sure her hair was in a ponytail, she chose not to question it. What ever crazy plan he had plan would probably be fine, they usually were. Texting Roy in the way to her class she almost missed the foot out to rip her, but being so focused she just sidestepped and jumped over the other 2 that were outstretched as she made her way to class. She wore a bright smile, Roy was talking about how pretty Paris was. ‘He must have seen the pictures I sent’.

Practically falling into her practical sibling’s lap she hummed a happy tune forgetting where she was. The red shirt she wore was one that she may have narrowed from Roy and it still smelled like him. The two blondes who sat with her started to tease and run their hands through her hair, happy to see their girl so happy again.

“So, Kitty, why was I to wear this today? What’s the occasion?”

“Oh you’ll see,” his knowing smile should have worried her but the text from Roy distracted her.

A picture of her parents' bakery and a text that said ‘this is your parents right?’ Lit up her screen.

‘Yeah why’

‘No reason, shouldn’t you be in class?’

‘Hasn’t stopped me before ;)’

Lila’s loud boasting about her ‘boyfriend’ Mr. Harper, at least she got the last name right, broke the bliss Mari had been feeling, though Adrian’s poorly concealed laugh did bring some of her smile back.

It was at lunch when Mari found out why Adrian was so giddy and why Roy was talking about the beauty of Paris. In the middle of another one of Lila’s stories about her ‘boyfriend’ a cough stopped her mid sentence, “Um actually, who are you? I’m pretty sure I’ve never met you before. I think I’d remember someone as loud as you.” There he stood at the bottom of the stairs, in all his glory, one Roy Harper.

“Adrian I love you but I’ll kill you later,” Mari whispered to him and then launched herself at red-head. “What are you doing here?” He caught her with ease spinning her slightly, “Happy to see you again Pixie,” their laughter could be heard throughout the school. “But Roy, seriously what are you doing here?”

Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, “Adrian may or may not have gotten me here… and I wanted to see you again” Mari half hearted flared at the blonde who jut give her a grin. This was sister and Roy made her happy, so of course he was going to do what he could so she could be happy. “Told you it would work out,” Chloe’s retuned fistbup told him she was happy for their friend too. After all she had done for them it was only fair they helped her.

“I may have also wanted to ask you something,” Roy looked down at the shorter girl, “would you be down to be my girl…” he trailed off at the end but their was clear admiration in his eyes as he squeezed her hands.

“Of course you dork,” she gently pulled him down into a soft kiss.

They left the school after that, somehow the school already knew to excuse her for the est of the day. The pair had a lovely date ending up with them both falling asleep in the couch as a movie played.

The next day Mari didn’t come to class, neither did Adrian or Cholé, but there were cease and desist letters on both Alya’s and Lila’s desks and a firm warning from the Queen lawyers about falsely using their name.

Mari was happy and she really had to thank Jagged for finally convincing her to go the dumb gala, and maybe Adrian for getting them together.

They were an odd pair, the human disaster and the embodiment of an angel but they were happy and they fit, they wouldn’t change it for the world.

///

So that was that, hope it was good :>

#my writing #ladyarrow #roy/mari #maribat #prompt answer #i really loved this #hope it wasnt to fast paced #adrian and mari are basicly siblings #good chole

[hazelandglasz]

possible klaine prompt idea? 66 (.) media (.) tumblr (.) com/0a3ac83b2e36cba0c5b2f2a0bc056749/tumblr_o7xrab7RSz1tpg5guo1_1280 (.) png

On AO3

“Bro.”

“And then he, I don’t know, flaunted that guy around the apartment, like we were at the Westminster Dog Show or something, before taking him to the door and kissing him very, very loudly.”

“Bro.”

“And then he returned to the couch and took my bowl of popcorn from my lap and, and—”

“Blaine, bro. Breathe.”

Blaine does breathe, pausing in his retelling of his roommate's latest sexcapade to calm himself.

Next to him, Sam and Artie are exchanging looks Blaine doesn’t even try to translate anymore.

He sighs. “I’m not homophobic, you know that.”

“Mm-hm.”

“Sure!” Sam exclaims, clapping Blaine on the back. “You’re, like, the most woke guy I know!”

“Hey!”

“You’re very smart and very open-minded, Artie, but the Chlamydia episode taught us all that you need to work on your wokeness.”

“Touché.”

Sam returns his focus to Blaine, who is slowly rolling himself into a foetal position. “Blainey,” he says softly, “have you considered the possibility that, um, you… you may be the opposite of homophobic?”

“Uh?”

Sam glances at Artie who nods.

What the what?

“Have you ever wondered why you’re still single, even though girls are literally throwing themselves at you?”

“Do you really think right now is a good moment to rub my loneliness in my face?”

“‘S not what I’m doing, bro, you know I would never do something to make you sad.”

Artie clears his throat, holding up a glass of water for Blaine. “What we’re trying to tell you, Blaine, is that, maybe, just maybe, you should, um, think about what you really feel when you see Kurt kissing other guys.”

Blaine glares at him, and then shakes his head. “I don’t—I just… I don’t like to see him kissing those men, they…”

“Yes?”

“They… don’t deserve him.”

“Oh?”

“And why is that?”

Blaine lets himself sit back on his friends’ couch, dropping his head on the back of it, eyes to the ceiling. “Because Kurt—Kurt deserves to be treated with respect and care, not like a piece of meat.”

Artie makes a thoughtful noise before patting Blaine’s knee. “Do you want to be the one treating him with respect and care?” he asks softly.

Blaine sits back like someone poked him in the back. “What?! No! I—I’m not…” he starts protesting, but the words get stuck in his throat. Surprising tears come to his eyes. “I’m not…”

“Hey, hey, Blaine, it’s alright. Whatever you say,” Sam says, glaring at Artie. “Whatever you say, we’re here to support you, bro.”

Blaine lets out a small sob before standing, rushing to get his jacket and out of the apartment. “I—Thank you, guys, I… I need to go. I’ll call you later, ‘kay?”

“Blaine—”

The door closes behind him before Sam can finish his sentence.

Blaine doesn’t even remember going down the stairs or how he ended sitting in the dog park near Kurt and his apartment, but that’s where he is, around two hours later, lost in his thoughts about the possible truth ringing in Artie’s words, when a strong hand gently taps his shoulder.

“What are you doing here, roomie?”

And here he is.

Kurt is standing next to Blaine’s bench, a look of concern on his face only downplayed by his half-smile.

“I told you already, we are not getting a puppy in our apartment.”

Blaine lets out a wet laugh before shaking his head. “No, I know, I know. I needed… some space. To think.”

Kurt removes his hand. “Oh. Do you want me to—”

“No.” The word came out louder than Blaine intended. “No,” he repeats, calmer this time. “You don’t need to go.”

Kurt’s smile grows as he sits next to Blaine, crossing his legs and putting his hands around his knee. “Something on your mind?”

Blaine nods, unable to look at Kurt.

“Something I can help you with?”

Would it be easy to just blurt out the whole truth to Kurt?

That Blaine has possibly buried his feelings under a mask so solidly put on that he didn’t realize it was a mask anymore?

That his teenage fear of being beaten up for not conforming to the norm, added to his dad’s repeated affirmation of what a man should be and do, has pushed him into a corner he can’t seem to escape?

But more importantly, that seeing Kurt with all of his different flings, one-night stands, however he wishes to call them, has stirred something deep in Blaine’s whole being, has moved him beyond words, and that he assumed those impulses were born out of anger but they may be something entirely different?

No, Blaine thought. Not so easy.

“Blaine?”

Kurt’s voice disrupts the flow of questions and negative thoughts going around Blaine’s mind. “Are you—is everything alright?” Kurt moves one of his hands to Blaine’s knee, hesitating before lightly patting it. “Want to talk about it with a slice of cheesecake?”

Blaine can feel his eyes tearing up again, but he chuckles anyway. “You and your ‘cake is the cure for everything’ policy.”

Kurt smiles wider. “Never failed me before.”

“Lead the way, then. I’m buying.”

“Won’t fight you on this.”

---

Not a moment later, they’re sitting in a booth at Junior’s, a plate of cheesecake samples in front of them.

Blaine has to admit it, the smooth and sweet pastry does soothe some of his head (and heart) ache.

“Now, do you want to keep on manly brooding about whatever is eating you up or do you want to talk about it?” Kurt asks, before taking a bite of cheesecake, keeping the spoon in his mouth and humming in pleasure.

Blaine’s eyes go to his lips before he realizes it.

“I… don’t manly brood.”

“Right. And I don’t focus on my skincare routine when I am stressed.”

Blaine twists his mouth, shoving a spoonful of devil’s food cheesecake in his mouth to keep it shut.

“Does this,” Kurt continues, pointing his spoon at Blaine in general, “have anything to do with my date with Brett yesterday?”

“Huh? What? Why—why would it have anything to do with your date?”

Kurt stares intently at Blaine, chin resting on top of his hands, the spoon dandling from his fingers. 

“Do you hate homosexuals, Blaine?”

“What?! No! I’m not—no.”

Kurt’s eyes become steely. “Then why did you glare at Brett the whole time we were having fun yesterday before he left?”

“I—” quick, Blaine, think of something, “I couldn't hear my movie. And I’m not a big fan of PDA in general.”

“Ah.”

“I would have glared at Brett if he was a she, as well.”

“Ah?”

I would glare at anyone getting a chance to kiss you and touch you, really. 

The thought is as surprising as it is true, and Blaine tries to control how his eyes widen as he processes it, but not to avail.

“What?” Kurt’s hand finds his. “Blaine, you look like you just had an epiphany.”

“I, um, kinda did. I just need to, to, to think about what I’m going to do now.”

“O-kay.”

“Can I—I will talk to you about it, I promise, but can I do so later? Please?”

Kurt squeezes Blaine’s hand, his touch soft and strong at the same time. How did Blaine miss this in the first place? How Kurt is made of contradictions, that add up to this whole perfection?

Ha. The truth is, he didn’t miss it. Not at all.

He just didn’t want to admit it.

Silly, silly Blaine.

“Of course, Blaine. Now,” Kurt says, unaware of the tremendous shift that just happened in his roommate’s mind, “what do you say we pack the remains of these delicious cheesecakes and go home to watch some terrible reality shows?”

“As long as it’s not one of the Real Housewives,” Blaine says, a shy smile trying to make an appearance on his face, “count me in.”

“Heretic,” Kurt grumbles, knocking their shoulders together when they both come to stand side by side at the cashier. “You terrible heathen.”

“Sorry not sorry.”

Kurt snorts, locking their arms together as they walk back to their apartment. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” he says in the same tone he always jokes in with Blaine.

Why does it make him blush so suddenly now?

---

It’s time.

He’s going to do it.

Blaine gives himself a pep talk in the bathroom, two days after his “gaypiphany,” to just get out of here, turn off the TV, get Kurt’s attention and tell him…

Tell him what, exactly?

“Hey, Kurt, I know we’re good friends even though you thought I was being homophobic toward your boyfriends, but actually, I am gay, very gay for you specifically, and I wouldn’t mind you kissing men if those men were me. What do you say?”

Blaine facepalms. 

Yeah, like that is going to work well.

“Blaine, you alright in there?”

Shit.

“Sorry,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, “I was… washing my hands.”

“Very thoroughly,” Kurt comments, juggling with the remote. “Not a criticism, though. I’m glad I have found one of the few straight men my age who knows something about hygiene.”

Blaine winces and Kurt notices immediately.

“What did I say?”

Blaine sits down, slowly reaching for Kurt’s hand to squeeze it—it’s both to appease Kurt and give himself some strength.

“It’s nothing you said, Kurt,” he says softly, taking a deep breath. “It’s just… I realized something, lately, about—about myself, and also about… us.”

“Oh?” Kurt’s voice is slightly breathless.

Without realizing it, Blaine doesn’t let go of Kurt’s hand. “I have been silencing a part of me,” he starts slowly, “for a long time. To protect myself from getting hurt, I build an impenetrable box around that part and, by doing so, I seem to have locked myself away from a chance of happiness.”

“Blaine, I—”

“Kurt, please, I need—I need to let it out.”

“Of course, dear. Go on.”

“There was a moment, for me, last week, when I said to myself ‘This. This is me’, and it was largely because—because of you. Without me noticing, you moved me, Kurt, you broke the walls I had around my heart, and I… I would like the chance to spend more time with you.”

Kurt turns his hand so they can hold hands, palm to palm. “We already live together,” he murmurs, eyes on their joined hands. 

Blaine scoots closer to Kurt, using his free hand to tentatively cup his cheek.

(He files away the thought that this feels like his hand was made for this.)

“Would you let me kiss you, Kurt?”

Kurt’s eyes fly to Blaine, wide and carrying a myriad of emotions.

Surprise, fear, anticipation. And hope.

He nods, almost imperceptibly, and Blaine leans forward, pressing their lips together.

His eyes flutter shut, allowing him to lose himself in the sensation.

Blaine doesn’t have a lot of experience with kissing—he did have a couple of girlfriends in high school, but it never lasted—but this…

Even as delicate and gentle as it is, it carries more passion than Blaine has ever experienced. 

Kurt inhales sharply, before tilting his head and caressing Blaine’s cheek as he licks the bow of Blaine’s lower lip.

Blaine lets out a small sound, at the edge between a moan and a sob, and Kurt uses the opening to caress Blaine’s tongue with his own before pulling away.

“Oh, wow,” Blaine says breathlessly, resting his forehead against Kurt’s. “That, um. Wow. I’m definitely gay.”

Kurt starts laughing silently, pulling Blaine into a hug. “Yes, you ridiculous man. I’d say you’re definitely gay.”

“Would you—will you be my boyfriend?” Blaine asks, moving back to face Kurt.

Kurt’s hand slides from Blaine’s cheek to cup the back of his neck. “I thought we were,” he says in a breath, before pulling Blaine’s lips back to his while pushing Blaine on his back.

Turns out, Blaine really doesn’t mind Kurt kissing men if he is that man.

(And he has zero problem with PDA, as Sam and Artie quickly find out.)

#Anonymous #sometimes i write #klaine au #roommates au #straight blaine #except not so straight is he now #fluff and angst #light angst (like i can do the hard kind anyway)