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youcouldmakealife · 4 months

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LBTE: Jared (175)

We did it, everyone! We made it to the end. I had no idea what I was getting into over six years(!)ago, and I probably would have balked if I had, so it’s for the best I didn’t.

This is — tough. These two have been constant companions for over half a decade, and in that time I thought about them, without exaggeration, every single day. It’s really difficult to leave that behind. But it’s the right place to leave them, and it’s time.

The LBTE answers some questions re: timeline and the like. I haven't tackled any asks yet since I didn't want to accidentally spoil anyone, and that worked out, because a lot of the asks are answered below.

Okay. Part 175.

Here's the series page one last time, for those following along. Scroll all the way to the end.

Brian’s the one who gives them the news.

Brian does not have to give them this news, frankly it should be Dave, but Brian finds out and he’s so excited(!) he calls Bryce right away. In case you’re wondering if Brian is still the best GM.

He doesn’t know what it takes to be untouchable, but he’s pretty sure trading a Conn Smythe winner with a sweetheart deal would get Brian run out of Vancouver.

The Cup win is a year before the epilogue takes place. Yes, Eastern teams are getting kind of pissed off about this run of Western Conference winners I have going on. Especially because the Scouts are still in the wings, being an annoying as hell dynasty.

Bryce signed an 8x8 in the summer following the end of IJ(aoe). 64 million dollars is obviously nothing to scoff at, but he could have made 9+ on the open market, easy.

Jared’s was 2.5x4. Which is MORE than he’d get open market, especially regarding term, but like, did you just see the hometown discount Marcus gave them? His husband being there is kind of a condition.

Okay, so maybe Jared isn’t exactly calm, because he doesn’t think running through negative scenarios is calm, exactly, but it does calm him just enough that he isn’t plastering himself to Bryce in an attempt to eavesdrop.

Maybe not plastering himself, but he is inching closer and closer as this conversation goes on.

“Yeah, he’s sitting right beside me,” Bryce says. “He hasn’t ripped the phone out of my hand yet, but he’s definitely considering it.”

And glaring. Oh, the glaring Bryce is on the receiving end of right now.

“I’m up for the King Clancy,” Bryce says.

A leadership and humanitarian award, though the Mark Messier Leadership Award (HAH) is defacto now more straight team leadership, and the King Clancy has mostly become charitable impact in local community. Though it does tend to go to players in leadership roles (captains, alternates), it isn’t exclusive to them.

"Wouldn’t I just be a distraction?” Jared asks.

Bruh. You think Bryce would go to the Awards without you? Like, for any award, but the one for starting a charity that he never would have been in the mental place to start were it not for his relationship with you?

If he’d thought for even a millisecond before opening his mouth he would not have said this. Some things have not changed in the Marcus Matheson household.

“Us doesn’t take things away from me,” Bryce says. “I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t met you.”

“I know, but—“

“No, seriously, J,” Bryce says. “That’s not — you think the guy you met would have done like, any of this? I couldn’t even think about shit without needing to climb out of my head.”

So like — if IJ(aoe) was the traditional storyline following a hero’s ups and downs, the hero pretty clearly would be Bryce. And when the hero’s struggling and lashing out and pretending to be someone he’s not, and hating both himself and the person he’s pretending to be, he gets assigned community service and he meets the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

And now he has to face those parts of himself he’s trying to bury, because those parts are loudly telling him he needs to be around this person every single second of every single day.

And this person doesn’t like the persona the hero’s put on. He likes the person the hero is, which is sensitive, and empathetic, and emotional, all those things the hero’s been told he can’t be, shouldn’t be, that’s what the love interest wants him to be. Exactly who he is.

Bryce wouldn’t have had the guts to take off the mask if, every step of the way, Jared wasn’t letting him know, with word and deed, that guy under the mask was the person he was in love with.

And that’s not even getting into the fact that, from the beginning, Jared is much more comfortable with his sexuality, and people knowing about his sexuality, than Bryce is.

Bryce kisses him quiet, and Jared’s grateful, because he wanted to take the words back as soon as they left his mouth, stomach twisting just saying them. He suddenly felt this visceral, totally illogical anger toward someone who doesn’t actually exist, or like, exists somewhere, not knowing there’s this huge hole in his life because Bryce Marcus isn’t in it. Fuck that guy, though. Better him than Jared.

Jared doesn’t fight but he’ll make an exception for that guy.

“You’ll come?” Bryce asks.

“Yeah,” Jared says. “I’ll come. Of course I’ll come.”

An echo of all of one part ago! Of course. Jared’s answer to Bryce’s question is of course. Even if it’s a ride in an obnoxiously showy convertible or a trip to Las Vegas in June.

Or any other month, he supposes, though the league’s getting pretty deep into talks to make it an expansion team, so that may change.

I still haven’t decided vis a vis expansion teams (and certainly haven't decided when that would take effect) but I’ve realised I can yoink players from other teams and then put them on one team TOGETHER, like one big summer camp, and that sounds chaotic and fun.

Bryce squeezes his knee, like he knows he’s thinking angry thoughts. Probably not hard to guess. They pass a building’s display flipping from the time to the temperature. 106. That’s a life-threatening fever. They’re in a life-threatening fever.

I checked the temperature in late June over the course of four years so this would be accurate, and accuracy is a high grade fever. If it’s 106 inside, go to the hospital. Outside, you’re in Vegas in late June.

“Did you know it’s forty-one degrees out?” Jared demands.

Bryce squeezes his knee again.

“I know,” Jared mutters.

Look at Bryce handling him without a word.

snapping a picture of the view from their window for the group chat, captioning it with Man’s hubris, then changing for dinner.

Jared Matheson, everyone.

He’s halfway through a reply when the elevator doors open, which means he doesn’t realise he’s sharing the elevator with Brandon Simcoe until the doors have already closed behind him, and now he’s trapped with him for the next 23 floors. Unless he hits the button for the next floor, but that’s showing weakness, right? Jared’s pretty sure that’s the opposite of what you’re supposed to do when faced with an apex predator. What’s he supposed to do, though, ignore him? Play dead?

He’s such a drama queen. Shithead’s harmless.

(This is not true even a little; it’s fun that the first real view anyone got of Shithead was Joey’s, because Shithead IS harmless to Joey. He loves Joey! Then you’ve got Holden getting cross-checked black and blue by him even though Shithead likes him in COTT. Bryce? Not his friend. Not harmless.

“Yeah,” Jared says. What’s he going to do, disavow his own husband to save his skin? It clearly wouldn’t even work. “That’s — yeah, I am.”

Got to love Jared’s moral calculus does take into account whether going ‘Bryce Marcus who?’ would save his skin, and only rejecting that option because Shithead clearly wouldn’t believe him.

“Cool,” Simcoe says. “You know, my best buddy back on the Scouts is gay. Fucking love that guy.”

Joey: Bud you gotta stop telling everybody that.

Shithead: That you’re gay?

Joey: That I’m your best buddy.

“What, that I love him?” Simcoe says. “Oh man, I didn’t mean that way, he’s got a fiancé. And I’m not gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. Obviously. You know.”

;-; Brandon

Anyway, no ScratchnMoney marriage yet. We haven't gotten THAT far into the future.

“We’re not like—“ Jared says. “You know we don’t all like…talk, right? We don’t have a gay player group chat or anything.”

“You should, it’d be sick,” Simcoe says.

I’m with Shithead on this. Get on it, Marc.

The elevator doors open, and Simcoe claps him on the back so hard Jared has to put a foot forward so he doesn’t careen right into the elevator wall, says, “Love is love, man, love is love,” then walks away.

Your periodic reminder that Shithead is the Bruins’ YCP rep.

He sums things up to the group chat while he waits for his heart rate to slow, his knees to cooperate again. He’s just finished when Bryce walks out of the restaurant across the lobby, beelining for him like he’s got a Jared-dar.

I spelled that so many ways before I settled on Jared-dar. Jaredar. Jared-Dar. Jare-dar. Nothing feels right.

Anyway, Bryce definitely has one of those installed.

“You’re sure you’re good?” Bryce asks, fingers in Jared’s hair now, like he’s feeling for bumps and bruises.

Jared laughs. “Oh my god, the most violent thing he did was pat me on the back a little too hard.”

Bryce starts patting down Jared’s back.

Both of them reacting like Jared just got out of a tiger enclosure is great.

Summers, thankfully, doesn’t take Bryce ditching him over an elevator conversation as an insult. He thinks it’s hilarious, in fact, and it ends up being the nicest dinner Jared’s had with both of them. Which isn’t saying much, really, but it is something.

‘My husband was stuck in an elevator with a dude I’ve punched in the face like half a dozen different times’ is delightful to Dave. Emergency accepted.

Anyway, Bryce and Dave aren’t suddenly David and Dave, they still tend to get under each other’s skin, sometimes accidentally, sometimes not, but they’re both getting better.

Elaine and her boyfriend arrive from Vancouver not long after they wrap it up, and Bryce shakes his hand and says his name without scowling once, which is also a first.

Never mind the reams of paper I could have written about the road to the Cup, and the Cup, and Raf’s wedding, and Chaz’s wedding — this right here could have been an arc in itself.

He’s definitely had help. From Elaine, of course, but Jared suspects Ash’s involvement too, along with possibly Erin’s — ‘my beloved sister’ certainly sounds like her doing. He wouldn’t even be surprised if PR Grace took a swipe at it — some of it has that PR gloss to it, though not so much that it feels over-polished.

All have had a hand in this speech, yes. Also Stephen and Gabe. (Bryce used Stephen as a stand-in for Jared in the ‘make sure this isn’t too cheesy’ aspect.)

“Really,” Jared says. “You can probably cut the stuff about me by half, though. Possibly three quarters. Just leave it at, I don’t know, ‘shoutout to my husband Jared’ and move right on?”

It’s cute you think that’s even worth the effort of saying.

Jared’s in a custom tailored suit made with ‘summer fabric’, whatever that is, other than cooler than the usual suit fabric, thank fuck.

It’s just linen. Jared tends to tune out immediately where any of this is involved because he knows Bryce has it handled.

He’d originally protested that he could just wear the suit he wore at Raf’s wedding, because Bryce was practically obsessed with him in it at the time

That suit was tailored to perfection. Bryce wants to know the name of Raf’s guy.

Anyway, not so subtle implication minimum two years have passed since the end of IJ(aoe) as Raf’s wedding was a year out from the end, and Jared isn’t talking about Raf’s wedding like it was a week ago.

Also summer fabric’s not a bad thing, considering he’s got four weddings to go to in the next three months, including Gabe and Stephen’s. Canucks just can’t stop proposing. It’s frankly gotten ridiculous.

Okay, another ask I got: was the Stanley Cup recent or older. The epilogue is a year after they win the Cup — most of those proposals took place in the weeks following the Cup, and now, a year later, the weddings are happening.

Including Gabe and Stephen’s, and yes: the original just city hall with immediate family ceremony is no longer canon because the sad eyes Gabe would get from his entire team. Why does he not want them there. etc. (Gabe’s mom is so happy I changed this.)

Right now he’s grateful for his suit, because as hot as he is — and he is disgustingly hot — at least he isn’t wearing wool like the poor kid in front of him. He looks miserable. Also about twelve years old, but then, he’s there for the Calder. He isn’t going to win it — there’s a very clear front runner and it’s not him — and Jared feels kind of bad that he’s not only a loser, but a loser in a hot as fuck suit, who’s too young to legally do anything Vegas was built for.

Have been asked a few times who this is. No one who’s been established in the ‘verse, but I fucking feel for this dude. Him and the Calder winner should totally hook up later. For tradition’s sake.

Jared may as well go over to the group, sign some autographs and take a few selfies while he waits for Bryce and Elaine to catch up. He plans on taking his time, but one of the girls asks Jared to marry her, and then asks him to sign her chest.

Jared misses anonymity.

“I said no,” Bryce assures him.

“I wasn’t worried,” Jared says. “You being gay is kind of why we’re here.”

“It was a guy,” Bryce says.

“Still not worried,” Jared says.

“You don’t ever have to be,” Bryce says, very seriously, and thankfully Elaine pats Bryce’s arm so Jared doesn’t have to. Like he said: not worried.

Jared has absolutely zero concerns about Bryce straying. Less than zero.

Jared would protest that it’s just a nervous habit, but that would directly contradict him telling Bryce he wasn’t nervous right before the red carpet, and Bryce clearly knows it.

Why must you call Jared on his lies, Bryce?

“I feel like I’m at the draft again,” Jared says, wiping his palms on his slacks, even though the AC is so high he’s actually a little chilly. They must have it cranked to the max in a war with the swelter outside.

It's fun to send Jared to Vegas in June after he bitched so much about Tampa in June. Boy does not handle heat with grace.

"I've mentioned that I'm proud of you, right?" Jared asks.

"I know you are," Bryce says, which is a very nice way of saying no.

Another call back to last part! Because Jared is his father’s son whether he likes it or not.

"I know, babe," Bryce says. "You telling Ash and Grace and Erin their partners are losers who've never even been nominated for anything was kind of a sign. Which like, you remember Julius won the Calder, right? Because Erin definitely does."

This didn’t make it into the final bit, but Jared receives this immediately after Bryce wins the King Clancy:

"Okay phew Bryce won so I can send this: I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE (your wonderful husband that you do not deserve) JULIUS HALLA WON AN AWARD IN THE VERY 1ST YEAR OF HIS NHL CAREER AND MOREOVER WAS NOMINATED…" She would have sent it anyway, Jared's pretty sure, she just would have waited until tomorrow.

"Fuck," Jared repeats. He wasn't one of the top finalists, because the Oilers sucked hard even with all he did for them, but still, he was. "Erin's going to be on me about this forever."

Deservedly. How dare you forget Julius’ Calder.

“If they don’t give you the award I don’t know what I’ll do,” Jared says. Maybe burn the theatre down, though he’d probably die of heat stroke before he pulled it off.

Jared turns to arson quicker and quicker as this series goes on.

“Hey man, good to see you again,” Simcoe says, then looks at Bryce, mouth flattening. Bryce looks back, mouth just as flat as Simcoe’s. They hold eye contact for long enough that Simcoe’s date coughs, giving Jared an awkward smile.

I knew what the people needed: more Shithead.

“I can’t see past his head,” Bryce complains.

“Not my fault you’re short, bro,” Simcoe says, without turning around.

Shithead’s a monster. Like, physically, as well as everything else.

“Be the bigger man than him,” Jared murmurs to him. “Proverbially, if not literally.”

Bryce scowls, foot coming up in position dangerously close to seat kicking.

I think repeatedly kicking the seat in front of you may lose some points on the leadership aspect of the award, but also, the committee might make an exception because it’s Shithead.

“Do not,” Jared says.

“Or what,” Bryce says.

“I’ll switch spots with Elaine,” Jared says. “Hang out with her boyfriend for the rest of the show. Do some nice bonding.”

Bryce makes a furious noise, but lowers his foot to the ground from its current ‘in preparation to kick’ position, so Jared considers it a win.

As you can see here, Bryce is taking Elaine dating with tremendous maturity and dignity.

The show itself is excruciating, a mix of bad jokes, a rock-ish country-ish band Jared’s pretty sure he’s obligated to like as a born and raised Albertan, but refuses to due to the fact they suck, and a distribution of all the awards everyone already knew the winner of.

I’m not vagueblogging about Nickelback or anything, just describing a significant number of bands from Alberta.

Bryce mutely holds out his hand, and Jared takes it, squeezing when Bryce gives him a slightly sickly smile. He looks nervous as hell now, and any other time Jared would point that out, but not right now, not today.

The smile Jared gives Bryce is just as sickly, for the record.

but when Bryce stands up, he does too. Has to, considering how tightly he’s holding his hand.

Literally one unit.

“Can I kiss you right now,” Bryce says. They may be out, but they haven’t, not in public. Even when they won the Cup they settled for hugs until the cameras were put away.

Bryce wholly intended to just hug Jared this time too (or else they would have discussed this before like, that second) but he just — really wants to kiss Jared right now.

“Please,” Bryce says, and Jared’s barely nodded before Bryce is hauling him in.

Needs to, really.

And objectively, it’s a shitty kiss. Has to be one of the worst they’ve ever shared, and neither of them can stop smiling long enough to fix it even a little. But with Bryce’s hands cradling his head, Bryce’s grin splitting his face it’s so fucking wide, Jared can’t bring himself to mind.

And like their engagement, and their wedding, and Bryce doing all the machinations to get himself to Vancouver, the kiss fucking sucks. Because, once again, they’re both grinning too hard to kiss each other properly, but they can’t stop smiling long enough kiss each other properly, and they refuse to stop kissing.

And yeah. In the traditional story, the hero goes from the talented but angry, terrified, self-hating player walking into a hockey camp for community service because it’s that or probation. And then, around decade later, he’s kissing his husband on a nationally televised show, after accepting an award for working with LGBTQ youth athletes, with the frankly too hot for him love interest supporting and pushing him the whole way.

If you’d have told a 20 year old Bryce that was coming, he’d have probably punched you (Oilers fan was a time traveller: confirmed). But he’s done so much growing up — not just from who I thought he was, or Jared thought he was (neither of us gave him nearly enough credit at the start), but from who he thought he was, or had the potential to be.

I wrote the as sort of a summary of the final part about a year ago, an encapsulation of the entire series in one sentence, to keep in mind as I finished the series.

The biggest goal for Bryce, along the way, is being seen and accepted for who he actually is. Bryce wants that for others too. Jared just wants it for Bryce.

The hero of the story doesn’t narrate this one, but the narrator is, without a doubt, his biggest fan.

(He is aware he shares this title with Elaine.)

#liveblogging the end

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youcouldmakealife · 6 months

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Liveblogging the End: Jared (103-105)

Okay, I am back to liveblog the end now that we are ACTUALLY approaching the end several...years...later.

Previous parts can all be found under the liveblogging the end tag in reverse chronological order.

And if you want to read along with me, the series page is here.

I am dropping the part summaries going forward, and instead you'll have random ass mini-essays on occasion, because I have Thoughts and Feelings and the like. Starting with one today, below the cut.

I paused the LBTE last time at part 102, because I realised we were, in fact, a long way off from the end, and I was going to finish the liveblog well before I finished the series. And I was…very right about that. It’s a good place to step back in, honestly: Jared’s just told Deslauriers about his relationship with Bryce (it went poorly), Bryce is about to tell the Flames about him and Jared (it will go poorly), and wedding plans are ramping up. Let’s step back to Alberta, everyone.

Here’s the thing about Jared Matheson: he’s beautiful, he’s smarter than most people around him (not all around him, as he believes, but most), he’s in the 0.001 percentile of hockey players worldwide, and he draws good, kind people around him like moths to his flame (also fellow hobgoblins, to be fair). And he thinks like a Mary Sue: ‘here I am, just this ordinary boy, totally unremarkable, why did Bryce Marcus just trip over his feet looking at me, must be a plot’ and then Bryce’s POV is ‘oh look, it’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen’.

Here’s the other thing about Jared Matheson. He’s the narrator of this story, but he’d be the first to tell you the true hero of this story is Bryce Marcus, and Jared’s The Love Interest. Of course, he’s not exactly the mute but there to look pretty and provide stakes love interest of action movies, or the longsuffering picking up after man baby partner of romantic comedies (…mostly), but he is, indubitably, the love interest of the Official Plotline. And fuck does Bryce love him.

I obviously did not know what I was getting into with Impaired Judgment (the series name that just keeps on getting more and more fitting). First off, I had zero handle whatsoever on Bryce. Jared’s voice I had pretty well from the get go — it changed, naturally, as he got older and more settled, and his ‘like’ per part ratio is down significantly at 24 versus 17 (Bryce actually uses it more than he does in dialogue, now), but I had Jared pretty well pegged.

Bryce Marcus. Holy shit man. That guy was a revelation to me as much as he was to Jared. Dude peeled off his layers like a fucking strip tease at the beginning of IJ(aoe) and then grew to be one of my kindest, most earnest, sweetest characters. What I thought was a trash son had only landed in the dumpster accidentally, and required a rescue.

I’m going to have other random little essays while I go through Liveblogging the End (actually for real this time), because this many words and this many years in, there’s obviously something that keeps me coming back to these boys every time I think I’ve reached a natural end to their story, one more step they have to take together before they’re through. But in the meantime, let’s get to the actual story, shall we.

103 - Exertion

Wedding planning feels particularly good when you’re doing it spitefully. Things Jared wasn’t overly concerned with are suddenly important. Fuck yes they’re going to wear tuxes and have the stupidly expensive catering Bryce wants. If Bryce wants a fucking ice sculpture in the middle of summer Jared would probably okay it right now, just as long as he could send a picture of it to Oilers PR.

One of my favourite things about Jared is how much spite he can inject into all his endeavours.

Bryce comes home after two hours, and Jared is given a pretty solid example of Chaz’s reports of the discrepancy between Bryce’s gloss on the phone with Jared versus Bryce in reality, because his face is a fucking thundercloud until he realises Jared’s looking at him, and once he does it gets very — neutral. The epitome of ‘fine’.

Bryce is still masking a LOT at this point in the narrative. It’s kind of crazy to me how far he’s come at this point and how far he’s still going to go.

Jared’s at least ninety percent sure people have recognised Bryce, so he keeps it low when he leans in while Bryce is taking a long-overdue water break, shirt plastered to his back, and says, “Is it weird to say you look hot when you’re punching things?”

Bryce laughs a little breathlessly. “You hate when I fight,” he says.

“Yeah, but when you’re fighting guys are throwing punches back,” Jared says. “And I kinda like your face.”

This is going to keep holding true, much to Jared’s chagrin. Well, chagrin about the fighting: he’s cool continuing to like Bryce’s face.

They do, however, fuck in their own shower — no matter how many times Jared swears they’re never going to do that again, usually while nursing a minor injury, he gets Bryce naked and wet in an enclosed space with him and things go badly. Well, they go badly for his self-discipline; they go pretty okay otherwise. Neither of them even need an ice pack after

The one lesson that is never learned in this narrative, but hey: no ice pack this time.

“Cool,” Jared says. “You still want that crazy expensive catering company?”

“I mean, you keep looking at price per person, but it’s not that much when we only have—”

“You can go ahead and book them,” Jared says.

“Hey, is mid-July too soon for the wedding? That huge lake house you thought it’d be cool to rent out just told mom they got a cancellation then.”

Jared would literally marry him tomorrow if Bryce wasn’t so aghast at the idea of eloping.

“I know we haven’t ironed out, like—” Bryce says.

“Book it,” Jared interrupts.

Their entire wedding comes together on the wings of spite and Bryce is kind of loving it, tbh.

“Liar,” Jared says.

“Mom,” Bryce complains.

“Bear, you know you’re a bad liar,” Elaine says.

One of Bryce’s best-worst feelings is when Jared and Elaine team up on him. His favourite people are united! Against him.

Erin drops the ‘I don’t know how hockey works’ b.s. while Elaine’s there, which is good, because if Jared had to tell her one more time that icing doesn’t persist during the power play, while he’s already grit-tooth watching the Flames kill it, well —

Jared should not kill his sister.

This act, which was used to bug the SHIT out of her father and brother, is permanently dropped when she gets together with Julius, and Jared and Don both have dramatic ‘I KNEW IT’ conversations with her.

“But you would have had to tell them before the wedding,” Elaine says. “And telling them affects your career more than his.”

“How?” Jared asks. “He’s the high-profile player.”

“That’s my point,” Elaine says. “There’s always going to be a team that thinks his play makes a potential scandal worth it.”

And that isn’t true of Jared. He honestly like — his dad’s been telling him that since before he was drafted, that a team might decide it wasn’t worth the PR headache, pissing off the homophobic fans. And he knew that, intellectually he knew his dad was right, it’s just — he didn’t expect it to go as bad as it did. Maybe that was naive.

Jared would self-describe as a pessimist, but he’s actually the optimist, between him and Bryce. And he’s usually the one who’s right about how things will go down, versus Bryce, who tends to fear the worst, but unfortunately that’s not always the case.

“I worried about him a lot growing up. I’m sure you can — I worried about Bryce a lot. And I don’t worry — I don’t worry about him in the same way now. And you’re a big part of why I don’t. So thank you for that.”

“I didn’t really do anything,” Jared says. “Like, he kind of — it’s all him. He’s the one who did all the work, you know?”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Elaine says, reaching out and squeezing his hand, and Jared squeezes back.

This is probably my favourite Jared and Elaine moment in the entire series. The utter RELIEF it has been for Elaine, Bryce having Jared in his life. That fear has been so ever-present since Bryce was a child, the weight of it coming off was immense. She still worries about him, obviously, but before, she was Bryce’s sole support. Him having Jared is such blessing to her.

“Why’re you still up?” Jared asks.

“Waiting for you,” Bryce says, but he doesn’t protest when Jared pokes him to their room, supervises him getting into bed. Bryce gets out a plaintive “Come to bed,” before he crashes hard, and Jared gets Gatorade — blue, because Bryce earned it — and aspirin, puts them on Bryce’s bedside table in case he wakes up dehydrated and sore, which Jared knows from experience he almost definitely will. And Jared’s never played the kind of minutes Bryce did tonight. He adds an extra aspirin, just in case.

Soft shit, Matheson.

104 - Ember

Two of them are vanilla because Jared’s selfish and Bryce isn’t there, and anyway, no one dislikes vanilla, so it’s a good flavour to have.

I have been asked about the cake reversal, because Bryce has stated that he liked vanilla best when Jared got him a cupcake for a birthday very early in their relationship, and I will say this: Jared was visibly nervous he got the wrong flavour and Bryce was lying to make him feel better. Jared even pegged it at the time. Also as soon as he realised he could have a non-traditional wedding cake he got excited.

(He DOES like vanilla ice cream best, but he is a chocolate cake guy. Jared’s a chocolate ice cream and vanilla cake guy. Complementary couple.)

“I brought guests!” Bryce tells him, Chaz and Ashley walking in the door before Jared can do more than throw the nearest blanket over himself, give himself a little dignity. Not that Chaz hasn’t seen him in less hundreds of times, but context. Plus Ashley hasn’t, and does not deserve to be unexpectedly subjected to it. He twists it so it covers his chest too. He’s sure Ashley isn’t going to be scandalised by his nipples or whatever, but still.

“Beautiful blanket toga,” Chaz says.

He is stunning in his attire.

“We just got the cake decided,” Jared says. “Chocolate and vanilla, which isn’t like, totally traditional—” he pretends he doesn’t see Bryce rolling his eyes at him. “But it’s not like, a cupcake cake or whatever, so.”

“Aw, I like those little cupcake towers,” Ashley says. “They’re super cute.”

VINDICATION FOR HALLA.

Bryce eats it up, and Jared can’t blame him, considering that’s like, his first enthusiastic Matheson reception, barring Erin the irritating shadow and devoted future sister-in-law. Plus her glaring crush when he first came onto the scene. Maybe Jared will amend that to adult Mathesons — though like, his grandma’s a Murray, not a Matheson, so maybe that’s the difference. No hobgoblin gene.

Jared has the hobgoblin gene from both sides, his grandma has simply bamboozled him into thinking she’s not a hobgoblin herself.

It’s going to cost an absurd amount for something Jared will probably never wear again, except maybe to Oilers charity stuff — and even then hopefully he’ll have put on enough weight it won’t fit — and Jared almost protests and puts his foot down on getting one off the rack, despite Bryce’s obvious horror at the idea, but then he gathers all his reserves of spite and lets it happen.

Bryce continues to be very grateful to Jared’s spite in this matter.

Small potatoes is a stupid term, Julius texts back ten minutes later, ten minutes Jared imagines he spent looking up whatever the hell that meant and then trying to figure out why that was a thing, and then throwing his hands up at the English language. It’s easy to imagine because Jared’s seen him do it multiple times before.

And to be fair, it is a pretty stupid term. Like, what is it comparing the small potatoes to? Big potatoes? A pumpkin?

It literally has no defined etymology and that makes me fucking mad. A good idiom requires a root MEANING, even if it’s no longer relevant to modern life. Fuck you small potatoes.

Jared snorts, then texts Julius with a mad face. “I can’t believe you’re sulking,” Bryce says. “I’m not,” Jared says, and then sends Julius three more mad faces and a I cooked for you ALL YEAR and I get nothing. Thank you for your congratulations, Julius sends back twenty minutes later. Whatever we both knew you were a lock., Jared texts back

I love their friendship. Julius is the friend Jared deserves.

It feels vaguely unethical for them to get preferential treatment when everyone’s supposed to be equal, but Jared doesn’t want some random person at City Hall recognising Bryce, so he’s not actually complaining.

Love Jared like ‘I recognise this is the sort of preferential treatment that leads to systemic inequality which is bad…but also I appreciate it’.

“We’re getting married in July,” Jared says, just to like — tell her. She doesn’t care, she’s just telling them how long it’s valid for so they don’t have to get a new one, but it’s just. It’s cool, saying it to someone.

“Congratulations,” she says, both like she says it a billion times a day, and like she means it, means it as much for them as anyone else, no more or less.

“Thank you,” Bryce says, and it’s stupid, but Jared has the sudden urge to take his hand, follows through on it. She knows they’re getting married, it’s not like a little hand holding is going to shock her. Once again, she doesn’t bat an eye.

But then also NOT getting different treatment is meaningful as hell too.

105 - Promise

It turns out while Bryce’s celebrity was kind of handy in getting some strings pulled at City Hall, it is a pain in the fucking ass when it comes to getting an officiant. Jared figured they could get Elaine or Bryce’s grandpa or someone to get a licence for it, like he’s seen before, keep it in the family, but Alberta’s a buzzkill on that one, and they have to go official.

I ALSO figured that and was displeased with the government of Alberta. (But when am I not, you know? If I get the fucking 'tell the Feds' ad one more time during a hockey game so help me--)

Jared doesn’t want to do that. Like, for one, Bryce is going to have a speech that’s a billion times more romantic and great even if he doesn’t put any effort into it — and Jared knows he’s going to put effort in it. Jared’s is going to be awful in comparison. Every time Jared tries to talk about his feelings, it ends up terrible and often insulting. Bryce deserves better.

Look at Jared trying to make this sound like he’s refusing for Bryce’s sake. (though he is right, it is typically terrible and insulting.)

“You know, the ‘I take you, blah blah blah,’” Jared says. “She just wanted to know if we wanted to personalise them. You’re supposed to save the long stuff for the reception, you know, not drag the wedding on too long.”

Did Jared trawl wedding sites explicitly for this ammo? Absolutely. He’s even got the links saved in case Bryce asks for sources. Sources say: don’t do anything that takes over a minute, it’s a bad idea, it’ll bore your guests.

Any sources that said otherwise naturally were discarded because they did not suit Jared’s purposes.

Raf seems like the kind of guy who’d like, light candles at dinner for ambiance, and Chaz is totally the kind of guy who’d buy Ashley flowers ‘just because’, all these things Jared is totally deficient at

He’s got it backwards: Chaz is candle guy, Raf is flowers just because guy. (And for her mom! And sister! Grace’s fam love Raf so.)

lean on your teammates for help, right? If you’re weak on the point, don’t go there, let a teammate more capable have that slot. Teamwork 101.

God I love Jared trying to hide his machinations with hockey talk, like that’s going to fool anyone.

“No,” Raf repeats. “You have to do your own wedding stuff.”

“It’s just my vows,” Jared says.

“That’s the most important part,” Raf says, sounding faintly scandalised.

Raf is more than faintly scandalized, honestly.

“You seem like a romantic guy,” Jared says to Chaz after they wrap up for the day.

“Oh fuck no,” Chaz says. “I’ve already heard like three drafts of BJ’s vows, there’s no way I’m listening to yours too.”

Three drafts? In two days? Jared’s fucked.

“I was going to ask you to help me write them?” Jared says.

“That’s so much worse, no way,” Chaz says.

And Chaz is done.

He looks up some sample vows on his phone while he’s making him and Bryce dinner that night, and they leave him red with secondhand embarrassment. He can’t imagine saying anything even close to what they say. There will be no ‘light of my life’ leaving his mouth, true or not.

Look at this dude just slipping in that Bryce is the light of his life. Two people making this relationship mushy, Jared.

Jared was always kind of, well — he was a studious kid. He got good grades. He prepared for classes. So it seems to make sense to make a list as a starting point. Sort of a ‘Pros and Cons of Bryce Justin Marcus, Except Just the Pros Because Our Wedding is a Dumb Time To Mention the Cons, Unless the Cons are Endearing Ones’.

Can you imagine this dude listing Bryce’s cons during his vows to be ‘fair’. Pro: excellent at hockey. Con: needs to work on controlling his temper on the ice. Pro: romantic as fuck. Con: romantic as fuck.

Fuck. He is not good at this. This is not his thing. The list part, sure, but not the conveying emotion part. He has a ton of emotions for Bryce, but like, saying them? Oof.

Big oof. Especially considering Jared’s history when trying to convey said emotions.

He’s definitely crazy in love to be thinking about Bryce at like, forty, having a shitfit because he’s starting to go bald, or grey, when he’s so vain about his — admittedly terrific — hair. Or Bryce at sixty, buying a convertible all over again and thinking he’s so cool, or at ninety, grin as shiny white as ever because his teeth are all fake, and still being like ‘yeah, I want that guy’.

We all know this man is due for another red convertible decades from now, Jared has resigned himself already.

Jared closes the doc — password protected or not, no way he wants Bryce to accidentally stumble onto that ridiculousness — unlocks the door to the spare room — he was maybe a lot paranoid about Bryce not stumbling in on the ridiculousness — and wanders into the living room after hiding his laptop in said spare room.

Jared treating his vows like state secrets while Bryce has already emailed Ashley like five different versions for peer review.

He’s having a lot of feelings lately. It’s very disorienting. Like, he always has feelings, obviously, he’s not a robot, but he’s having so many. Bryce always does this to him, dammit.

Thankfully ‘how dare you make me feel feelings’ did not make it to the final vows.

#liveblogging the end

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