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sagesolsticewrites · 2 years

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Trouble | Austin Butler x fem!reader

A cast outing after filming Austin's "Trouble" performance prompts you to finally confess your feelings.

Warnings: a couple swear words, possible spoilers for Elvis (2022), but I think that's it!

“CUT!”

Baz’s voice carried throughout the stage as the scene came to a close and Austin slid out of the police car, grinning and breathing as though he had just sprinted for miles, sweat dripping down his hair onto his face, snaking its way under the collar of his shirt. He was almost immediately surrounded by extras cheering and clapping, a near replica of the raging crowd that had surrounded him in the actual scene.

You, however, were frozen near the edge of the stage, brain frantically trying to process everything that had just happened. Images of Austin on his knees in front of the audience, cupping a girl’s face, laying onstage screaming into the mic flashed across your mind, doing absolutely nothing to calm the flush on your face. You had harbored a crush on Austin since he was brought on as Elvis and his latest performance had assured you that those feelings weren’t going away anytime soon.

You saw Austin exchanging congratulations with Tom, Richard, Helen, and Baz, praising the rest of the cast surrounding him. His eyes continued sweeping the crowd, seemingly searching for someone, when his gaze met yours across the sea of actors and crew alike. Your breath caught in your throat, unable to tear away from his icy blue gaze, and you were sure he could read every thought racing through your mind about what exactly his rendition of “Trouble” had done to you. Embarrassed, the flush in your cheeks intensified, but Austin only gave you something that looked remarkably similar to a knowing smirk, his gaze burning into you for a split second before returning his attention to the crowd around him.

You let out a shaky breath. At least this was the last scene of the day and you could go home.

Some time later you were finally out of hair and makeup, and no sooner had the thought of curling up on your couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s crossed your mind when Olivia waved you over to her car.

“Come on! We’re all going out for drinks!”

Unable to find the energy to refuse, you slipped into the car with her. She playfully nudged your shoulder as you made your way to the cast’s usual bar.

“So, that ‘Trouble’ performance, huh?”

You stiffened imperceptibly. “Yeah, it was… quite a show.” you said in the most casual tone you could manage.

Olivia rolled her eyes, “Come on, please just admit you have feelings for Austin already. You’ve been giving him serious heart eyes every time you see him, it’ll be so much easier if you just tell him.”

You blinked “Wha- Have I really been that obvious?”

“Well, to me and Natasha and everyone… yeah. Kinda. If you’re asking if Austin has noticed? I’ll have to get back to you on that one. But trust me, he definitely likes you too.”

“He definitely doesn’t, but I appreciate the vote of confidence” you replied, the tone of your voice signaling that you definitely didn’t want to talk about this anymore.

“Alright, I’m just saying,” she said “you never know what might happen.”

Your only reply was a shrug, and before you knew it the two of you had pulled up to the bar where Natasha and a few of the others had already grabbed a table. In what seemed like no time at all, the table was filled with a cacophony of laughter and eventually, thanks to Olivia, the conversation turned to the scene that was still on everyone’s minds.

“Austin, I’m sorry, but can we please talk about how incredible that ‘Trouble’ performance was?” Olivia smiled at her co-star.

He let out a shy laugh, “Well, thanks, Liv. I mean,” he gestured to the rest of the cast around the table “I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you guys.”

More people jumped into the conversation to heap their praise on Austin when Olivia spoke up again, “I’m serious, you were absolutely amazing. I know (Y/N) enjoyed it.” She nodded over to you.

You froze as the attention of everyone around the table turned to you. You knew Olivia was only trying to help, but you still wanted to sink into the floor as you mumbled “Yeah, it was, um. Seriously amazing. You did an awesome job.”

You cleared your throat, excusing yourself and pushing your chair back from the table as you made your escape out the back door into a small alley dimly lit by the few lights outside the bar.

You leaned against the brick wall of the building trying to gather yourself, but before you could do much of that, the door next to you opened and Austin stepped out into the alleyway.

“Hey, you okay? It seemed like some of the stuff Olivia said back there kinda… got under your skin a bit.” he said, moving to lean on the section of brick wall next to you.

You shook your head. “It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

He frowned, concerned. “Hey, now. If something’s upsetting you, I’d really like to at least try to fix it.”

“Why do you care?” you huffed, not caring that you sounded like a petulant child at this point.

“Wha-“ he stammered, confused, “Why do I care? Because you’re my friend, and-“

“Exactly.” You cut him off, praying he wouldn’t hear how your voice was breaking, “I’m your friend and that’s all I’ll ever be because I can’t just suck it up and tell you that I’ve been completely and totally in love with you since the day I met you and all the stupidly nice things you do like getting me coffee, making me laugh even when I’m having a bad day, hell, even coming out here after me tonight,” you gestured to the dim alleyway, “make me fall a little bit more in love with you and I don’t…”

As your voice trailed off, you felt a warm hand cup your face and you lifted your gaze to meet his. Before you knew it, his lips were on yours, your back pressed into the rough brick behind you, your hands working their way into silky black hair. His hands moved to settle on your hips and you could swear you felt sparks when he brushed the exposed strip of skin above your jeans.When the need for air became too much, you hesitantly pulled away, breathing hard.

“I’ve wanted to do that,” Austin panted, his nose and forehead still pressed against your own as if he was unwilling to let you get too far away, “for so long.”

“Um.” you said cleverly as you tried to process what had just happened because holy shit his lips were soft and your arms were still flung around his neck and had his hair really always been that soft?

“I’m sorry, was that too much?” He took a half step back, noting the state you were in. You released him, your hands instead coming down to rest in his own.

“No! No, I just…” you shook your head, unable to find the words for how you were feeling, eventually settling on, “That was perfect.”

He chuckled, squeezing your hands once before he cleared his throat, the slight drawl in his voice becoming more prominent. “Would you maybe want to get outta here? Grab a drink or something just the two of us?”

“I’d love that,” you grinned.

Austin led you back into the bar, quickly letting the others know that, “Hey (Y/N) and I are gonna head out,” before leading you right back out to his car, wolf whistles and cheers following you out from your castmates, with one especially boisterous “Get it, girl!” from Olivia. You felt your face burning as Austin wrapped his arm around you outside the bar, burying your face in his neck and hoping that the warmth in your cheeks would subside soon.

He laughed, unable to resist the opportunity to tease you, and leaned down so his lips brushed the shell of your ear. “I did see you after that scene today, you know. I know exactly how much you liked my Trouble performance,” he whispered teasingly in an exaggerated Southern drawl before pressing a quick kiss to your temple and ushering you into the car.

Well, that’s it! My first fic! Hopefully y’all enjoyed ☺️ Huuuuuge thank you to @solopadawan for letting me ramble about Austin with them 💛 Please like and reblog, let me know what you thought! Have an awesome day!

#austin butler #elvis (2022)#austin butler x reader #austin butler fic #austin butler imagine #elvis 2022

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tea-earl-grey · 28 days

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @isagrimorie (thanks for the tag!)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

only 9 lmao. you're never gonna guess what my fic writing weakness is.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

108,636 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Doctor Who (and various related fandoms. though funnily enough i've never posted a new who fic), Star Trek (currently just Star Trek Picard but i have a few Voyager wips too), and a single Steven Universe fic.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

this happiness is hell on earth – Steven Universe fanfic about Pearl and Rose's toxic relationship and Pearl learning to recover after the series

And They Became Monsters (the fall of great men) – Gallifrey/Bernice Summerfield/DWEU fic that's a novel length character study of Irving Braxiatel and started as a way to explain his timeline and then i was carried away by the themes.

The Office – a somewhat silly Gallifrey fic where Romana and Narvin fight over an office following Enemy Lines when Romana takes over the CIA

A Holiday – a fluffy Eighth Doctor audios fic where Eight, Liv, and Helen go on vacation and accidentally run into the Doctor's past...

What is Beautiful – Gallifrey fic where Narvin and Leela explore one of the Axis worlds alone and Leela makes Narvin see the beauty in the world

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to! a few comments always get lost in the email weeds but i try to make an effort to respond.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh this is hidden lore because i wrote it before i had an ao3 account but i posted a Gallifrey fic called Hope in Times of War in 2015. it was on my old tumblr so i doubt that is survives online but was about Gallifrey succumbing to Rassilon's military dictatorship during the Time War and Romana, Brax, Leela, and Narvin all being separated and i remember Narvin was executed as part of military executions and well... no one else had a great time either. i've learned that i prefer writing bittersweet endings to purely angsty ones.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i don't tend to go for outright happy 'everything's fine' type endings. the closest is probably What is Beautiful because it doesn't have much of a plot other than some musings on Narvin's character growth.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

on the one SU fic i wrote, i got a weird hate comment an hour after posting it and the commenter edited it like three times so it was no longer hate but just... vague disapproval and complaining about... not even my fic but just the standard interpretation of the show. anyways it didn't bother me but i did think it was funny how bothered this person was over the canonical fact that Pearl and Rose had a toxic relationship.

other than that, i don't really write for big enough fandoms or write controversial enough things to attract any hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

none published :) i've written some smut but i've been far too insecure to publish it because 1) i'm very ace and i think it shows in my writing and 2) some people i know irl have my ao3 and i tend to be conscious about how things i post could escape online containment. if i do publish any smut i'll probably publish it anonymously.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

again – none published. i have a few Gallifrey fusions i've sketched out before and one Gallifrey/Voyager crossover that i wrote a few pages of over the summer.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope but i would welcome it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope! i think my writing habits are far too erratic to be a good co-writer but i love sending ideas back and forth with people.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

the Gallifrey ot3. not even necessarily in a romantic sense, just in a 'these characters' lives forever revolve around each other and they can never escape even if they want desperately to leave' sense. Gallifrey was the first fandom that i was really dedicated to and spent a lot of time thinking about so these characters have permanently left a mark on my brain.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i only have one posted WIP that i am very much intent on finishing but as for my eternal drafts i have two notable ones that i still work on occasionally but will never be published in their current form:

Star Trek Perseverance – i challenged myself last spring/summer to create my own 20 episode season Star Trek series that i would want to see in the world. it's a slight AU of the end of Picard s3 where Seven and Raffi were given a new ship called Perseverance instead of the Ent G with a mostly OC cast of main characters and a more similar 90s vibe of an episodic series with different tones. i have an outline of all the s1 episodes and a few of the "scripts" written but yeah... writing 20 full length episode scripts is simply too much for me to tackle but i'm toying with the idea of adapting a few to prose/taking out the AU elements to publish because i do really love the "episodes" i wrote and it was fun to experiment with some comedy/light hearted stories which i tend not to write.

also during lockdown i started a 'Romana survives the Time War instead of the Doctor' AU of new who and i sketched out an outline of s1 (and some other big season plot points) but only wrote about 10 pages. it has some excellent writing tbh but given how long it would need to be, it's destined to live forever on my hard drive and in my head.

16. What are your writing strengths?

character voices 100% if i feel like i can't find a character's voice for whatever reason then i simply will not write for them. even when i go back to my old work, i cringe at the pacing/grammar errors, but generally i think the character voices are pretty on point.

i also like to think i've become pretty good at adding rhythm and pacing to my prose when i put in the effort. it's quite hard to do sometimes but it's so satisfying when it works. i'd never claim to be a poet but i love writing prose that just feels good and melodic to read aloud.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

... finishing things. or just committing to projects and ideas that i can actually follow through on.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

oof. i know enough Spanish (and Russian to a lesser extent) to get through some dialogue but i would very much want to run it by a fluent speaker first. however neither Spanish nor Russian have ever come up in my fics.

the only non-English languages that's come up in my fics are French and Latin. the French was for an abandoned fic and i asked my French-speaking friend to translate. the Latin was for ATBM and i'm pretty sure i ended up taking the line out because i didn't know any Latin speakers(?) (i mean it's a dead language so.... readers? translators?) and was too shy to ask a stranger.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

technically i wrote some HP fic in a notebook when i was 8 though i didn't know what fanfiction was at the time. (obligatory note that i'm not a HP fan or supporter right now given JKR's bigotries and hate speech)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

And They Became Monsters (the fall of great men) without a question. i poured my heart and soul into that beast and was the first time i wrote something that felt like Real Writing with Layers and Themes. when i was done i felt like my writing meant something more than the usual short fic i'd write. like at the end of the day it's a fanfic but it's also a critique of Great Men histories, a dissection of how art and the ways we view art perpetuates imperialism, studying how abuse causes abuse in cycles, how egotism stems from insecurity and slowly eats away at the self, how the self is just a performance and mask of something no one can ever name, and how sometimes the only thing you have to do to break away from cycles of tragedy and violence is to ask for help. (sorry i'm being too pretentious but i am very proud of my work on that one)

it was also the first time i feel like i put real effort into small details and experimented with them like tense – the story is told from the perspective of two versions of the same character and depending on the POV, the story is either told in past or present tense. there are even a few scenes when the two versions meet and i still narrate one's actions in present tense while the rest of the scene is in past tense to drive in how the present-tense character is quite literally out of place. there are also quite a few sections that i purposefully wrote as fragmented and run-on sentences to mimic the thought processes of someone having a breakdown/ideological crisis.

if i had to pick a favorite excerpt it would probably be the confrontation between the two different versions of Braxiatel:

He sighed. “You believe this is my fault? Deferring responsibility? Are you sure that you have grown up?”

“You were the one who lied. You told me I was a hero. You told me I would win the War. My future is Gallifrey’s future. Don’t you remember that?” Braxiatel wouldn’t rise to anger because he was better than that, he would never give up the game. (It’s always been a game.)

“I told you that you mattered. All children believe they matter.” Neutral, impassive, infuriating. He wasn’t belittling. Maybe to him, Braxiatel was still a child – the wayward son fallen far away from a distant and demanding father. Maybe that was the truth. What a cruel family he’s created. Just another cycle. Ad infinitum.

And here they were, blame circulating around and around. Things would never be resolved. Things would never heal. Braxiatel didn’t even want to heal. He wanted to leave this jagged cut deep inside – so deep that maybe the wrong Braxiatel felt it – because if there was an ugly scar for all to see that meant all the hurt was real. His bitterness and anger was justified because wasn’t healing just erasing? Forgetting the hurt meant letting it happen again and again, and there’s another cycle because he just can’t seem to get away.

Tagging: I can't remember which of my mutuals are fic writers but if you see this feel free to fill it out!

#this was a lot of fun!#writing #my posts #long post

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jackjackattacks · 2 months

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jack parr is based on jack-jack from the incredibles. they are a 26-year-old superhuman and temp. they use they/them pronouns. they have the power of polymorphing, telekinesis, teleportation, laser-vision and self-duplication. they are portrayed by liv hewson.

BASICS.

full name: jack j. parr.

nicknames: jack-jack, jj.

age: twenty-six.

gender: non-binary.

pronouns: they/them.

sexuality: (vague hand-wavey gesture).

occupation: temp @ the chronicle.

date of birth: tba.

face claim: liv hewson.

parents: bob parr (father), helen parr (mother).

siblings: violet parr (older sister), dash parr (older brother).

powers: polymorphing, telekinesis, teleportation, laser-vision, self-duplication.

SUMMARY.

jack was last to the party that is the parr family and is therefore the perpetual baby of the family, for better or worse.

on the one hand, it gets annoying feeling like you have to catch up on everything that happened when you didn't exist - or were learning to walk and talk - and feeling like you're always going to be seen as a child who needs to be taken care of or managed.

on the other hand, they love the attention and being able to get away with things if they play it right. they had the waterworks down when they wanted to get someone in trouble (usually dash), at least until they got old enough for that to stop working.

their powers came a little late, but they made up for lost time with variety and quantity - though, luckily for their parents' sanity, the list was not as endless as it first seemed. more than anything, they were full of potential - bursting with it.

as they grew up, they grew into their powers and themself. the chaotic mess settled into something they could control, even though all that energy is still waiting under their skin.

they figured out the gender thing around the end of middle school. dash was the first to have any indication, mostly because he was jack's authority on "boy things". then violet (the authority on "girl things"). their parents were the last to know, mostly because they wanted to be able to explain it properly.

despite feeling there were some things they'd missed out on, they still know they belong in their family. and the older they got, the more they got right in the middle of things and ensured they wouldn't miss out on any more. they only got more confident as they got more comfortable with their powers and themself. they grew into someone who could light up the room, who could help people, and who would follow their big brother into trouble (it's not their fault if he's a bad influence).

then came evermore.

they might as well have always been here. it's the only home they remember. they kept their memories of their family - thank god - but the control over their powers took a hit and that was... well.

they've done their best to avoid their family finding out their power struggles. they aren't hiding it exactly... well, okay, they are but they try not to actively lie about it. they just keep thinking about the stories they've been told about the chaos they caused when they were little. they don't want their family to worry, and they don't want to be a problem. they're not a kid anymore, they don't need to be managed. they'll be fine. it's not like they're thrown into emotional turmoil too often, anyway, right? they'll figure it out.

TIDBITS.

they stopped going by jack-jack a while ago. or tried to. that's never really stopped their family, no matter how much they insist it sounds childish. (they don't actually mind, but they've gotta put up some protest.)

they listen to music when they're working if they can get away with it. it's a habit picked up from their auntie edna, and helps them focus. when they're practising their powers, they tend to listen to mozart.

they like watching old movies from the fifties and sixties.

they're a mediocre cook but make a killer mac and cheese.

they collect fashion magazines and fabric samples. if they have a free weekend and don't know what to do, they'll make a fashion mood board.

the smoke alarms at their place are all switched off. don't worry about it, though. it's fine. (if anything catches fire it'll be them and they'll be very aware of it without any loud beeping noises, thank you very much).

skater kid. can still do all the cool tricks. no, it is not cheating to use telekinesis to make yourself look cooler, shut up.

they shamelessly steal clothes from both their siblings' wardrobes. they are not subtle and they are not sorry. if anything, they are judgmental.

they like reading comics. partly just because they think they're cool, but partly out of an almost morbid fascination with what other people think the deal is with superheroes.

they have an eclectic collection of stuff left over from hobbies they started and then forgot about. yoga, origami, jewelry making, who knows what else. they'll circle back around to it all eventually.

they are more of an ambivert than most people would assume based on first impression - they are energetic and friendly, yeah, but sometimes they need to slow down and breathe before they explode. on their quiet days they curl up with a book or a project, sometimes wordlessly crashing on a friend's (or sibling's) couch if they don't want to be entirely alone.

they keep their hair short, but still long enough that they can ask violet to braid it. maybe they're too old for that now, but it helps them calm down and feel close to violet without making her talk to them.

they were homeschooled for a little bit during elementary school. it seemed like the safer option - both for jack and the other kids. and better safe than sorry seems best when your kid can burst into flames.

they tend to feel things with their whole body, especially now their control of their powers is messed up. if they let it, their feelings can become a self-perpetuating cycle; getting upset, their powers getting volatile, getting upset about their powers, and so on. bottling things up never works well for them, so they try not to.

it's not that jack wishes they were normal, exactly. they just wish, sometimes, that things were easier. that their powers were only ever exciting, rather than a responsibility. that the world could take care of itself for a little bit. it's almost a guilty pleasure, not having the weight of the world on their shoulders at evermore.

their powers - especially their polymorphing - work intuitively, which is both a blessing and a curse. relying on instincts and feelings is good when it turns your body to steel when someone tries to punch you. the real problems are in everyday life, when you don't want to burst into flames because you got excited or shoot laser beams when you glare at something. the trick they're trying to relearn is balancing instinct with caution and, you know, thinking. and making sure they don't let their powers build up so much that they explode.

#evermorehqsintro #ABOUT.

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wsdk-artwork · 2 years

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The ending was almost perfect… it wasn’t a heartbreaking break up or a character death, it was liv choosing to live her own life, the one she’d lived on the tardis ever since times horizon, the one she even chose over the option of properly staying at home in Kaldor. Choosing to stay with The Doctor and Helen, even though she loved Tania. The couple were never perfect but I’m glad it wasn’t an overly dramatic end it was just a bittersweet goodbye as two people who loved each other had to part ways because they couldn’t keep it going. It felt real.

And it meant that we would get more 8, Liv and Helen. I was so happy. And then Liv came back. Staying with Tania for good. And I know this means there’s a big gap where we can get mor Liv 8 and Helen but now we know where it ends… in any stories with the 3 of them we know Liv will go back to Baker Street. It damages some tension and investment in future stories. And it means that for now… in what is livs farewell, she doesn’t say goodbye to the Doctor, the man she’s probably spent like 10 years with ever since dark eyes, or Helen, her best friend👀👀👀

I know we will get that goodbye down the line, but it will mean less as I know it’s coming and I know what choice liv makes. It feels like the inverse of the end of escape for Kaldor. Where Liv leaves for more adventures and then comes back, it’s like a poor man’s version of that. This might be biased because I’ll be honest I thought the bittersweet farewell was perfect and for a brief moment I had hope that it opened up the possibility of farther down the line, Liv and Helen’s relationship being Explored. I do enjoy Liv and Tania but I cannot get over Liv and Helen’s dynamic especially when Even in stranded, even in stranded 4 it’s apparent that Helen at least is in love with Liv, her reaction to Liv saying she loved Tania in keys of Baker Street really really stood out, there’s no way the writers haven’t done this intentionally which makes this even more frustrating. As with everything else I know they could still explore it in a future story. But I now also know that even if we have a story where Helen Confesses her love, it’s not the endgame and can never be… no matter what Liv’s story will always end with Her going back to Tania…. Which is in all honesty a little disappointing

#doctorwho #8th doctor #liv chenka #stranded 4 #stranded #helen x liv #liv x helen #liv x tania

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might-be-a-zygon · 2 years

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Classic

Femslash Feburary 2022 Day Nine Vintage Liv Chenka/Helen Sinclair

The Doctor drops them off on a planet which looks like home to Helen, but very clearly isn't.

It was hard not to notice that the Doctor seemed to be deliberately avoiding the 1960s since picking her up. Helen was, of course, rather grateful about that— not only did it spare her the risk of bumping into somebody she knew, it also meant that there was no real risk of her arrest for one of the biggest art thefts in the history of the British Museum— both things that she was keen to avoid. That didn’t mean that at times she didn’t miss it, though. The TARDIS seemed to suspect as much, given that despite not having had much in the way of possessions to bring along when she’d come on board (she’d stopped at her flat for a few sentimental items, but had hardly had time to pack her bags in case the police turned up on her doorstep) her room had been filled with things which might have been from home. She said could have been, because she got the distinct impression that they were more than likely reproductions from a fair way ahead of her (judging by some of the smaller details, at least), but she still more that appreciated the ship’s efforts. It had done wonders for her homesickness to be able to retreat into a corner and put on old records as though her whole world hadn’t shifted. She had to admit, she was a little caught off guard when they landed in a place that looked an awful lot like the London she was used to. Of course, it never changed that much, at least not when they visited it in the same century she was used to, but this wasn’t just similar— the buildings were identical to when they’d been built. “Is it safe for me to be here?” She asked the Doctor, rather more quietly than she might normally have done, clearly worried about drawing attention to herself. She was so worried, in fact, she hardly noticed the car moving along the road beside her which seemed to be hovering a foot or so off of the tarmac. “I’m not sure I remember those from Earth.” Liv mentioned, nodding vaguely at the vehicles to draw Helen’s eye to them. It was odd; they looked just like cars she might have seen on the road back home; right down to the open-top-busses and black cabs, but even if some days it seemed as though the British Museum had been another lifetime, she was still fairly sure that cars had never hovered ominously above the road surface back home. “Yes, those aren’t quite right…” She said, sounding thoroughly baffled. She looked to the Doctor, who seemed unphased by how put off they were. He had the air of a child on their first holiday, staring at everything with a kind of energy few could have matched. Still, he did eventually notice that Helen had addressed him— after he got a sharp elbow in the ribs from Liv. “Hm?” Was about all he said, before seeming to catch up with his own train of thought. “Oh, right. This isn’t Earth.” Helen blinked a few times, and while Liv seemed to take as much in her stride, it was somewhat more of a leap of logic for someone who had lived in this city her whole life. “…This does look a lot like London, Doctor.” She pointed out, though honestly, nothing would fully surprise her any more. “Styles come back around.” The Doctor announced vaguely, looking around with the uncertain air of a tourist without a map, and then taking off in a seemingly random direction. At this point, neither of his friends were under any illusion that he knew where he was going, but they followed along anyway. “So this is— what?” Helen asked, looking around at the familiar buildings, and spotting several high-tech additions which wouldn’t have made sense in their original context, “A future version of Earth?” “It’s a colony. Like Kaldor—” He turned to look at Liv, “But a few centuries before your time. The rest of the population has had less time to put their stamp on things. The whole city still bares the eccentricities of the founding families.” Turning back to Helen, he finished his little lesson, “These ones were from London— and from the looks of it, had a bit of an affinity with your time, Helen.” “So why are we here?” She asked, trying to batten down the odd sense of the uncanny she got

walking past a British Museum that had a few too many columns with just a bit too much space in between them— as though the place had been subtly expanded, while trying to maintain the look of the original. “Well, I need to go to a parts market.” He clapped his hands together. “Terribly boring stuff, I’m afraid, but they sometimes have the right couplings here, and the ones on the TARDIS are wearing a bit thin.” Helen might not have understood exactly what he was talking about, but she really didn’t like the concept that there were important TARDIS repairs were hanging on a maybe. “So where’s this market then?” Liv asked, looking far more relaxed in this place than Helen was, despite it ostensibly seeming more like her time. “Well, I thought you two might want to just…” He shrugged, “Have a wonder around.” Two sets of eyebrows shot up. They both remembered what had happened the last time the Doctor had taken them to a colony world and then let them loose on their own. Neither was prepared for another robot rampage. “What?” He asked, before either had even said a word. “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Are you sure that’s a good idea, after Kaldor?” Helen asked, being rather more blunt about it than she might otherwise have been. He waved them off, “Oh, you’re fine. I’m sure you’ll have much more fun exploring than standing in an auction room all evening.” Neither of them were prepared to deny that that was true. “Excellent, then it’s settled.” The Doctor clapped his hands together, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. “Just meet back at the TARDIS when you’re done. Do you remember where we parked?” “Better than you do, probably.” Liv remarked. Helen bit back a laugh. If the Doctor heard the sarcasm in her tone he didn’t acknowledge it. “Good, good.” He said, more to himself than them, and then, just like that, he’d disappeared off into a seemingly random side street. A day to just explore, with no danger breathing down their necks or threatening to destroy the Universe, was a real rarity— enough so that it took them a few minutes to even decide on what to do with their newfound freedom. In the end, Helen decided to see how far instinct would take her. Spotting a familiar red and blue underground sign, she took Liv’s hand and began to pull her over to it, not wanting to lose her in the platform crowd. “Where are we going?” Liv called over the buzz of the commuters around them. “I’ve absolutely no idea.” Helen admitted. “I’m just sort of going with it.” Liv laughed, though the sound was lost in the bustle of the platform. Still, the sight alone was enough to bring a smile to Helen’s face. Whatever nerves she’d had about this whole thing were, slowly, beginning to ebb away. After a while, Helen had begun to realise what the Doctor had meant about style. While a lot of things looked right, the whole place seemed more a pantomime of the 1960s than the real thing— everything was just a little too bright and shiny, coated in a thin veneer of unreality. The underground stations looked the same, but they were squeaky clean, there was nobody smoking, and she didn’t have that same nervous urge to look out for pickpockets. The trains were almost the same, though, she noted with some vague sense of relief, they seemed a little bigger, and the ventilation inside seemed to have been improved, making the short trip significantly more comfortable than she was used to. The people too, proved to be oddities in their own right. Their clothing was about what she’d expect from back home, albeit often in more garish colours, but things kept catching her eye which just didn’t… fit. Sometimes it was obvious, like the young woman sitting at the end of the carriage with a large purple lizard curled up in her lap like a dog, complete with leash, or they green-skinned humanoid in the business suit who’d slipped on at the station after there’s, but some were so mundane she might not have noticed them. Two old women sat together in the priority seats, chatting away as though they were the only ones around.

She’d initially assumed they might have been sisters, until she caught a glimpse of interlocked fingers and matching rings. Her eyes flicked around, looking out for anyone about to give them trouble but… nobody even seemed to be paying them any mind. Two young men got on at the next stop. There were a couple of seats left empty, but they didn’t seem bothered with them. The taller of the pair grabbed onto one of the plastic rings hanging from the ceiling, while the other kept his back pressed to the wall, one hand curled lazily around a handrail. A cheeky smile was exchanged, and then the taller took advantage of his position, leaning forwards with one hand still wrapped around the overhead support and kissed the younger. It was quick and sweet— nothing particularly scandalous at all, and when they pulled away both looked perfectly happy. Helen’s breath caught in her throat. For the briefest moment, her heartrate quickened, and she had visions of the backlash they’d encounter— of harsh words, and police, or worse, of violent people taking things into their own hands. She wanted them to just run at the next stop. She wanted them to get out of sight before they could get hurt. Liv’s hand settled on her wrist, snapping her out of it, and drawing her eye away from the couple. “You alright?” She asked, voice warm, and full of concern. “You were staring a bit.” Helen faltered, and all of a sudden the strangeness of her surroundings hit again; The weird grunting noises the pet lizard creature was making, the green man rustling his newspaper, the old women chattering away about the price of flyers these days. This looked like home, but it most certainly wasn’t. There was no danger here— at least not for two people just trying to be happy in each other’s company. “I—” She took a breath, her eyes settling on a loose thread in the garishly patterned seat cover behind Liv. It was easier than looking her in the eye. “Yeah, sorry. It’s just a little uncanny, that’s all. It looks like home but—” Her eyes flicked back to the couple. Liv was quick to follow her gaze. “Is this about—” She began, but Helen shook her head quickly. “…We can go back to the TARDIS if it’s a bit much?” Liv suggested. She was right of course. They’d hardly gone off with much of a destination in mind, and it wasn’t as though they’d travelled many stops, but… Well, Helen found herself wanting to see more. “No, no it’s fine. I’m fine, just… It’s strange, that’s all. It’s a good kind of strange, though, I suppose. Freeing.” Liv raised an eyebrow at her. “Freeing?” “Well.” Helen hesitated, “I have to think a little less about acting properly. If people can—” her eyes turned back to the couple for a half second, and then back to Liv. “And nobody comments, I could…” she shook her head quickly, dismissing that train of thought. “You could…?” Liv asked, curious, and clearly unwilling to give up on finding out what she’d been thinking. It was so very like her, prying, but being gentle enough about it to try and make sure that Helen had the space to process what she was thinking. It might have been annoying but… Well, Helen was well aware of her usual temptation to bottle such things up inside. A part of her couldn’t help but wonder if doing things this way might be healthier. “Well. I could do anything, couldn’t I?” She asked. “I could—” Another head shake, as though she didn’t quite feel right voicing it. “The two of us could… And nobody would even look twice.” She didn’t feel right saying the words, and Liv didn’t push her too. The implication had been clear. “You… You think about that a lot then? You and me?” Helen’s heart picked up again, and she twisted her hands together in her lap, letting out a slow breath. All of a sudden, the space between their seats felt a lot smaller. “Sometimes.” She admitted, slowly. “I do too.” Liv said, as though it was the most mundane thing in the world. Somehow, that helped. “Not here though.” Helen clarified, perhaps a little too quickly. “I’m not sure I’m ready for—” Liv’s hand was on hers again now, and

though it was subtle enough that it could easily have been an accident, she didn’t doubt it was intentional. “We can take as much time as you need.” It wasn’t a big declaration, or… Well, or anything concrete, really. It meant the world to her.

#femslashfeb2022 #liv chenka #liv x helen #helen sinclair #otp: my love language is cuneiform #madeathing #yes i'm behind

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meluisart · 2 years

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Liv/Helen for the ask game?

When I started shipping them: Somewhere late October/early November 2021

My thoughts: These two bring me so much joy, I actively go batshit feral about them. The amount of times I am reduced to incoherent mumbling and flapping of the arms is insane. I love them so much. They're just... everything.

What makes me happy about them: Pretty much everything. From small arguments on differences to tiny moments of deep-found companionship, their every interaction just makes me happy. They're both polar opposites in backgrounds and heritages and yet, they have so much in common and I love that.

What makes me sad about them: They're always some what out of time. It's never the right moment. They are slightly out of sync and well... -gestures vaguely in the direction of Stranded- look at what happened

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: When Helen calls Liv 'Livvie' even though it's stated in canon that she hates being called this, and there are no consequences.

Things I look for in fanfic: Hurt/comfort, healthy trauma-sharing, them opening up to the other on who they are and finding acceptance (Helen in being a lesbian, and Liv, depending on if the author shares that hc, in being sort of vague/ambiguous about her gender).

My wishlist: I want them to stay together in canon. I literally lie awake at night, stressed, that they'll be split by the end of Stranded and I forget how to cope.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Literally, no. I can't think about that because to me there is no one in canon that is better for them than each other. I hate to say it but I'd rather see them single and forever pining than... well... maybe that's a bit selfish but yeah.

My happily ever after for them: Either a together or not at all style ending, like with Rory and Amy, a story scattered through time and space. Or, they both decide that they would rather travel together than with the Doctor, bid him a somewhat emotional farewell, and go about their own adventures.

#and thats that on that #doctor who #dw #dw eu #liv chenka #helen sinclair #ask #answered #anonymous

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doccywhomst · 3 years

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For 5 characters ask. 14 with the Stranded team (Doctor, Liv, Helen, the sisters (as one, I think), and Tony and Ron (also as a team)

14. Leave in charge of my home while I'm away

OH LORD-

okay. let's examine these options.

tony and ron: adorable. phenomenal. beautiful. however, it seems like one of them is developing dementia, and they're both old as hell. even though one of them is a soldier, idk if they could defend my house.

the sisters. they're so wonderful, so touching. they love each other very much. i think i'd be okay leaving them in charge, but they play music pretty loudly and cause a ruckus, which might upset the neighbors.

helen. my sweet summer child. an angel in human form. has never done anything wrong in her life. however, she's from the 1960s and doesn't know what an app is, so i don't think i could leave her with my modern devices. i'm sure she could defend my house though.

liv. she'd kick a billion asses while defending my house, which is perfect, but i think she'd leave everything in a state of relative disrepair. she'd probably start a fight with one of the neighbors, or open all my mail out of paranoia.

the doctor. 10/10 would defend my home. however, he'd also destroy my junk drawer and probably take apart every single electronic in my house to make a toaster. aliens would attack my house and burn it to the ground. not great.

ultimately, i think i would leave it in liv or helen's safe hands, just because i think i could trust them. the sisters and tony/ron have their own lives and secrets to deal with, but i think helen would do a great job, and liv would hopefully not beat my microwave to death in a sudden panic

#doctor who #eighth doctor #stranded #big finish audios

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joanofarkansass · 3 years

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SVU Guys as Dads HC

Sonny: 4 kids (Lucy Bianca, Thomas Michael, and Amanda Ruth + Helen Olivia). This was by fair the easiest, we know Sonny loves family and wants one of his own- the only question is when he’d stop. He has a girl first and just melts when he holds her for the first time (her name is Luciana Bianca, nickname Lucy, and Sonny occasionally calls her Loosy goosy when she’s young). After he’s done crying (we all know that Sonny would DEFINITELY cry when he holds his kids for the first time who are we kidding) his eyes meets yours and you know he wants to have to have another. This was part of your plan so a year later you have a baby boy! He’s named Thomas, after the apostle, and it’s shortened to Tommy. Sonny wants to have the middle name after Mike Dodds (WHO IS STILL ALIVE) and you happily agree. Sonny is elated- he always wanted a mix of boys and girls. Key word “mix”. Sonny grew up in house full of kids, brimming with love and laughter and chaos everywhere and he wants to bring that energy to his own family. After waiting a year you agree to try again and, surprise surprise, you’re expecting twins. Sonny wanted a big family, but y’all already have two young kids already. Buckle in folks. You’re both ecstatic of course (Sonny loves his girls), but you both realize that this is probably the end. It’s a harder pregnancy (it’s your third with twins, you’re a fucking boss) and Sonny helps you with everything and happily sleeps on the couch when you have hot flashes. Their names are Amanda Ruth (named after Rollins and Ruth from the bible) and Helen Olivia (those names sound fantastic together, plus he wanted to honor Liv). There’s this one moment when the twins turn one and he’s got Amanda (nicknamed Mandy around family to stop the confusion with Rollins) on his chest, you’re wiping frosting off Tommy’s cheek, and Lucy is stoically keeping an eye on Helen, and he’s just hit with the thought that his family is full.

Mike: 2 kids (Billy Dominick and August Arthur). After Sonny I think Mike fits most naturally into the dad role. He’ll want to wait a few years until after you’re married, but he definitely wants kids (secretly he’s hoping for a boy and when he finds out, he literally high fives you). Once his son is born, he very shakily cuts the umbilical cord, but once you’re alone with each other and a bit rested he climbs on top of the hospital bed and holds you both. Mini Mini Dodds is named after his dad William -which shortened to Billy- and his middle name is after his godfather. Mike is good for a bit, but when Billy hits the babbling stage (”he’s trying to talk to me, hon! C’mon say “dada”) he totally asks you if you’re ready for another. A year and a half later, August Arthur makes his appearance (you jokingly suggested it, but Mike ended up really liking the alliteration). You love your boys, but you both agree that you’re done.

Rafael: 1 girl (Mia Olivia). As much as I love Raf, I don’t think this was on purpose. You’re married and a couple years in the condom broke, so your little surprise was born. Rafael was nervous at first, but as Mia Olivia grows older he gets more and more confident. She’s his whole world and he wouldn’t have it any other way. PS: he totally becomes a multitasking pro, whispering his closing argument to her as he walks around and lulls her to sleep

Peter: 1 girl (Pamela Rose). When you married Peter you had an agreement: he wasn’t sure if he wanted kids but was willing to discuss it, you wanted kids but were willing to discuss it. A couple years in after a major child trafficking ring was busted and a bunch of parents were reunited with their kids it got his wheels turning and he put it back up for discussion. You guys weren’t trying, but not NOT trying either. Feeling the waters if you will. Well, the waters were felt and a surprising 10 months later Pamela Rose was born (named after his sister and her nickname is Pam). After they got home from the hospital and you were getting some much needed rest, Pam fell asleep on Peter for the first time and he realized three things at the exact same time. 1. He loved her more than he loved anything in his life 2. She felt right in his arms and a missing piece of himself he didn’t know he had dropped into place 3. She was enough. His family was complete. PS: He totally still has an uncle role in Noah’s life and even coaches Noah’s little league team when he’s a bit older.

Nick: 1 girl (Esther Amy). I LOVE Nick as a dad. Nick’s “dadness” is a core part of his identity when he marries you he knows he wants to have a kid with you. But with two kids from two different women, he knows he has responsibilities and he would never do anything to jeopardize that. So from the start you guys agree on one kid. Introducing, Esther (Nick told Zara that she could choose and she was studying Esther in Sunday school that week. Esther Amaro is a mouthful though, so it’s shortened to Essie). Nick missed the infant and toddler stages from Gil’s life and the throws himself in wholeheartedly.

#law and order svu #law and order: svu #sonny carisi #mike dodds #rafael barba #peter stone #nick amaro #joan rambles #please tell me what you think #though it's debatable whether some of them would even want kids #it's undeniable #they would love their kid so much

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riversofmars · 3 months

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Doctor Who Femslash February - Day 3

Skipping my usual Saturday update of "Chess" today in favour of a one-shot for the @doctorwho-femslashfeb event! The prompt "Second Chance" gave me Stranded fix-it vibes immediately so here we are XD

Lost In Translation

Summary: After an extended stay in 21st century London, Liv has realised the mistake she had made by going back. Things hadn't worked out as she had imagined and she was missing her friends - particularly Helen - more than she could put into words. Writing to her, as she had done through the course of her stay, had not been enough, especially since her letters had gone unanswered. Thankfully, her message requesting they pick up again had not been ignored and so Liv returns to the TARDIS hopeful for a second chance. Her best friend, however, is far from amenable.

The day Liv Chenka returned to the TARDIS following the biggest mistake of her life was not the homecoming she had envisaged. She wasn’t sure what she had expected but it wasn’t the curious, yet somewhat apprehensive smile the Doctor regarded her with, and it wasn’t that Helen barely looked at her before retreating to the library. Liv stood in the console room, fresh off a misguided stint in twenty-first century London, and the people she had considered her best friends for the longest time barely said a word to her.

“So… how’s everything?” the med-tech asked, dropping her bags against a wall to be returned to her bedroom at a later date - so long as there was a bedroom for her to return to still. Right in that moment, as her voice echoed unanswered through the control room, she wasn’t too sure.

The Doctor rounded the console, making some adjustments to their course, and the familiar feeling of the blue box dematerialising made Liv’s stomach flip with excitement. She had missed the whirling sound of the engines and often woken from a dreamless sleep thinking - no hoping! - she had heard them in the night. In the end it had been up to her to make that a reality. She had made the choice to return to London, had asked to be dropped off there, so of course the Doctor hadn’t returned on his own accord, as much as that realisation stung.

It had taken a while for Liv to work up the courage to request as much. While the means of communication had been open to her and she had used them frequently, the actual request to be picked up had come late. Perhaps too late? Doing so had meant she had to admit she had made a mistake and that wasn’t something she was usually very good at. Looking at it objectively now, however, she could see that that was just what it had been. It had been a vain attempt at having something to make up for the things she thought she could never have while inside the TARDIS. It hadn’t worked. She had only felt more empty.

There had been the obligatory period of denial of course, of trying to make things work the way she had built them up in her head, but the fact of the matter was that even sheer force of will and spite could not will something out of very little. Liv hadn’t realised just how little she actually had had in common with Tania until the rest of the Baker Street gang wasn’t there to serve as distraction. It was only with the impeccable clarity of hindsight that she realised that the only reason she had struck up a relationship with Tania in the first place was not at Baker Street anymore, but took off again in the TARDIS with the Doctor.

Reflection was a curious thing. It was as though you were being slapped in the face by things you had never considered before but suddenly appeared all too obvious. Such as the fact that her main goal in dating Tania had not been to woo her, as much as she liked her, it had been to provoke a reaction from Helen. It was hardly her finest moment, that was something else she could acknowledge now, but it was also - she hoped - understandable. The pretty, blonde linguist had never given her indication one way or another whether romantic advances might be welcome, so it was a way of testing a theory. The reaction never came, regardless of how much time passed and eventually, Liv had given up hope. So perhaps it hadn’t been the most far-fetched thing in the universe that she might try and return to the safety of what she had had with Tania. It was something after all. Better than nothing. There had been no great stakes, no complicated, deep emotions… and soon she’d realised that that was also why it had been a stupid idea to return.

“Oh, you know…” the Doctor answered eventually, as if he’d only just noticed she had asked him a question. “Things have been fine.”

Fine.

He used the word in such a way that made the med-tech wonder whether the translation circuit was misfiring. Going by the look on his face and the tension she had walked into, things were the very opposite for fine.

“Well, that’s a load of crap,” she answered dryly, but the Time Lord didn’t rise to her comment. Instead he made some more adjustments before returning to his armchair where a half-drunk cup of tea was slowly growing cold and a volume of HG Wells was waiting for him.

“Welcome back, Liv,” he hummed, almost like an afterthought and got comfortable amongst his possessions, picking up a biscuit to dunk in his tea.

The med-tech tried her best not to be hurt. She reminded herself that the Doctor understood very little about the emotions of his human companions, though she couldn’t fathom it given how many of them he had had. He probably wasn’t aware how much his disinterest strung and she put it off as just one of those things she’d have to get over. Maybe, she even deserved it, just a bit… The thought made her chest tighten uncomfortably. At the time she hadn’t stopped to consider how her leaving might affect her friends. It wasn’t as though they had ever responded to the letters she had sent them except the very last one where she’d requested - no begged - to be picked up.

“Well, I guess I’ll just-” She gave a vague gesture towards the corridor and the Doctor nodded absent-mindedly, taking a sip of his tea while turning a page. She had lost his attention already. Disheartened, she picked up her bags and set out searching for her room.

The TARDIS didn’t exactly make it easy for her either. It seemed her room had been sent to some far flung corner of the ship so she was rather out of breath when she found it. As she flicked on the lights, finding her room dusty and lifeless, she gave a heavy sigh. As if realising she had wasted years of her life wasn’t enough, it seemed she would have to make amends and rebuild something she had taken for granted and was now missing dearly.

And thus, Liv started off with putting her room back in order. She tidied and cleaned, packing away the things she had brought back from London, except for the stack of books. Those had been intended as presents… She had no intention of ever leaving the TARDIS again and that was something she was beginning to realise she had to prove.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled to the ship as she remade her bed. “I know it was stupid but…” She couldn’t even put into words what she had been thinking at the time. It all seemed so ridiculous now. She had lived for so long without Helen giving her the romantic attention she’d longed for, she wasn’t sure what had changed the day she had walked out, why it had suddenly seemed too much to take and she’d given up hope. Perhaps it was because they had seen Albie and she had hoped it would finally change things. She’d even been as clear as telling Helen she was ready to talk, whenever she was. Surely that had been a declaration of intent if nothing else, but she had never taken her up on it. Not in three mouths and then… somehow, one day, the futility of her hopes and dreams had hit home. “Just because you can’t have what you want, doesn’t mean you should settle for something less,” she muttered. That was the lesson she had learned the hard way. Now, she would content herself with whatever Helen was willing to give her - if anything.

Once she’d finished with her room, she made for the kitchen for a cup of tea. Secretly, she hoped the Doctor would call across the intercom to them, announce that they had landed somewhere and were going to go exploring, but no such thing happened.

Taking a deep breath, Liv decided it was time to approach matters head on and she pulled two mugs from the cupboard. Part of her yearned for Helen in every way a person could long for another, but another part of her was terrified too. Her cold reaction upon her return had been proof enough that she was hurt and while this could spell that she indeed had harboured deeper feelings for her, the thought that she had done enough damage to cause this reaction was mortifying. At the time of her leaving, she hadn’t thought that far ahead. It had been a selfish, almost childish action that she had hoped would provoke a reaction from Helen, but when she had watched her go without saying a word, Liv hadn’t looked back; until she did. And that was when she had started writing the letters… but clearly not with the desired effect…

“You can do this…” the med-tech told herself as she pulled the tea bags from the mugs and added milk the way that she hoped her friend still liked it, hoping that she was, indeed, still her friend.

Eventually, she found Helen in the library.

“Hi,” Liv started insecurely, hovering in the doorway. The linguist was sitting on the small sofa by the fire, book in hand, a blanket thrown across her feet. She looked comfortable and settled and the brunette felt like she was intruding. Her eyes fell to the mug that was sitting on the coffee table in front of her and her heart sank. “I- I was going to bring you a cup of tea but looks like I was too late?”

Helen looked up at last and Liv painted a hopeful expression across her face. She had to start somewhere.

“I realise you’re angry-” she tried, as her friend’s apprehension was more than obvious and she thought it best to acknowledge it so she could make her apologies.

“I’m not angry,” Helen answered, her voice calm and almost indifferent as she turned her attention back to her book.

“Could have fooled me…” Liv countered as it was clearly not true.

“What do you expect, Liv?” the linguist retorted, and there was a flash of anger in her eyes after all, much as the brunette had expected. If she was being perfectly honest, she would have been cross too if things had been the other way around.

“I thought maybe just a ‘Hello’ would be a start?” she gave back, slowly making her way into the room as she gained ground. “I can understand if you’re angry or hurt, but please just say that rather than ignoring me.” She could have handled shouting, she struggled with the silence.

“What right do I have to be angry or hurt?” Helen huffed, averting her eyes. “It was your decision to go. I don’t have any claim to you.”

And there was the crux of the matter. How Liv wished she had staked a claim to her.

“No but… I made a mistake going,” she acknowledged outright, wanting her to know straight away that she had come to realise that.

“Right.” The linguist’s reaction was muted, almost ambivalent, her attention firmly back on her book. She seemed to be using it as a barrier of sorts.

“It was an impulsive decision I hadn’t thought through and it was for all the wrong reasons,” Liv carried on, determined to at least say her piece. She hoped, if she just kept going, she would get through to her eventually. She had explained her reasons in great detail in her letters, but saying so surely gave more weight to it.

Helen looked up and for a moment, the med-tech dared to hope, but only to be taken aback by her response.

“What reasons were they?” she asked, allowing her cool façade to break for something more emotional, visibly hurt. “Because I just- I didn’t understand,” she shook her head and gave a mirthless little laugh as she shrugged. “That at least would have made it easier. If I’d understood why I could have accepted it! Instead I had to wonder every day.” Her tone grew more emotional and accusatory with every word.

“Don’t you know?” Liv retorted dumbly, confused. She had made herself abundantly clear, unless of course Helen had refused to read her letters… If she had refused to do so, things were far worse than she had anticipated and her heart sank.

“I know it’s something that I did, you made me feel that clearly enough,” Helen huffed, and Liv frowned.

“I did?”

“Oh yes.” The linguist’s tone was bitter and stung, only confirming that Liv had underestimated the effect her leaving had had on her. Of course her best friend had inadvertently been the reason for her sudden departure, but she hadn’t realised it had been as obvious as all that.

“Well, I-” Even though she had put her thoughts to paper plenty of times over, she struggled to answer, unsure of what the best way would be given her irritated mood. What was she to say? ‘That if only she had shown some romantic interest in her, she wouldn’t have gone?’ She couldn’t force those feelings, regardless of how sure she’d always been that Helen had harboured them. Now, it seemed more and more likely that she had ruined whatever chances there had ever been.

“I remember the way you looked at me before you walked out,” Helen continued, giving her a hard frown, and Liv found herself on the back foot.

“And yet you didn’t say anything.” The words of defence had crossed her lips before she could really consider them. It was an accusation, and surely the last thing to help the situation, but it was an instantaneous, instinctual response.

At that, Helen snapped her book shut and glared at her.

“What was there to say?” she countered, her anger rising and Liv couldn’t help a disbelieving laugh leaving her lips. Wasn’t it obvious?

“That you didn’t want me to go?” she suggested, feeling her own frustration growing. She had been so excited to return, words couldn’t do justice to how glad she had been to see her, and now everything was going completely wrong.

“That wasn’t my place to say,” Helen shook her head, and it only enraged Liv more.

“But it could have been!” she exclaimed, and the linguist’s expression turned hard.

“Don’t turn this on me, Liv. You left!” she snapped, losing control of the temper she usually kept so tightly controlled. In all the time Liv had known her, the linguist had kept her emotions well guarded, maintaining a gentle, polite manner in almost all situations, and it made her anger all the more startling.

“I’m back now,” the med-tech tried for a more conciliatory tone.

“Yes… and why?” Helen got to her feet, hugging her book to her chest. Her voice oscillated between emotional and angry as she carried on. “What do you expect now? That I’m going to gratefully fall to your feet? You hurt me!” she exclaimed in an uncharacteristic outburst.

“No, that’s not what-” Liv stuttered, taken aback, as her friend glared at her, clearly upset.

“So you’ve realised twenty-first century Earth wasn’t for you. Great. Well done making that decision,” she sniped sarcastically. “And what was I meant to do? Hold out hope that maybe, you’d realise that and come back? When it was so bloody obvious to anyone it was never going to work?” she snapped.

Liv’s eyes widened in shock. If it had been that obvious, it only made her silence on the matter worse.

“Then why didn’t you just say that? Why did you let me walk out?” the med-tech shot back, equally as upset. “I didn’t want to go, but I thought- I thought it would hurt less in the long run than pining after you for the rest of my life!” The words left her lips quicker than she could think. It was an honest and raw confession and for a moment, Helen looked at her as though she had slapped her. Once the shock wore off, however, it was replaced by tears that sprang to her eyes, a terrible combination of pain and disappointment.

“Has it occurred to you that I just wasn’t ready?” the blonde whispered, struggling to speak, seemingly doing her best to keep her tears at bay and not quite succeeding. Angrily she wiped her cheeks.

“Would you ever have been?” Liv dared to ask, her tone sharper than she had intended, but in the heat of their exchange, with years and years of longing and waiting coming to a head, she couldn’t help herself.

For one tense, terrifying moment, the linguist just looked at her, and then she dropped her eyes.

“We’ll never know now, will we…” she huffed, and made to leave.

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?” Liv exclaimed and promptly stepped into her path. She couldn’t let her walk away, not like this. “Helen, I’m back now, I’m not going anywhere again, not ever! And I’m not expecting you to-” She fumbled for words. She knew she had no right to demand anything of her, but she also couldn’t leave things like this. “Didn’t you read-”

“But you are! You are expecting that,” Helen laughed mirthlessly. “And even if it was what I wanted, what I have always wanted! How do you think I can trust you now?” Her tears started falling properly now, she tried to push past her but again, Liv put herself in between her and the door.

“I’m sorry, it was a mistake,” she apologised, fear beginning to rise inside her.

“’I’m sorry’ isn’t good enough, Liv,” the linguist countered, her voice hollow and she shook her head. “I want to be happy you’re back, I missed you so much every day, but��” She took a deep breath to steady her voice, but refused to look at her. “I’m just- I’m gonna need some time before things can go back to normal, alright?”

“But they- You will-” Liv needed things to go back to the way they had been, she didn’t think she could survive it if they didn’t. “I know I have no right to ask for anything, I understand I hurt you and I’m sorry, but… You’re still my best friend and I’ve missed you every day as well. More and more everyday until I couldn’t take it anymore. That’s why I wrote-” She wanted to explain how she felt, but Helen interrupted her.

“You were the one who left, Liv. Not me,” she muttered. “And for the record: You never told me you had feelings for me either.”

She had a point. She hadn’t. But hadn’t she been clear enough? Hadn’t she given her time enough? The med-tech lowered her head, silent acknowledgement of the fact that she was right, and it seemed to encourage her friend to continue.

“Perhaps, instead of trying to force a reaction with this ultimatum, you should have tried to prompt things by having an honest conversation...”

Again, Liv knew she was right and it was what she attempted, if admittedly too late, and that made her lack of response to her attempts all the more hurtful.

“That’s why I wrote you all those letters and you never responded to any of those either…” she countered, unable to keep her own hurt from her voice. “I see that you were angry, but I thought at least you’d understand now-”

“What are you talking about?” Helen interrupted her, bewildered.

“The letters I sent?” the med-tech clarified, as though it wasn’t obvious and her friend groaned, annoyed.

“The TARDIS doesn’t get post, Liv!” She pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head.

“Yes it does, of course it does!” Liv protested instantly. “Drax’s thing, remember?”

“We turned that off. There hasn’t been anything since,” Helen sighed in response, holding her hands up, evidently done with the conversation.

“How else do you think I got the Doctor to pick me up?” Liv countered, her annoyance turning to concern. It seemed her friend’s confusion was genuine. Had she really not received any of the letters she had written for her? As Helen didn’t immediately have a comeback, she set out to explain. “He said if I ever needed to reach him there- There was this postbox by Covent Garden, I don’t know how it works - or even if it works looking at your face but - Well, he came to pick me up so some of my messages must have come through,” she insisted, bewildered.

“You wrote to me?” the linguist’s expression softened, and Liv’s response was immediate and insistent.

“All the time! I missed you so much! And not just letters but-” She wanted to launch into a great big explanation of all the effort she had gone to, but the sobering realisation that it had all been in vain hit her first. “Are you saying you never got any of them?” Her voice went small, almost fragile.

“No.” Helen shook her head slowly, her anger seemingly draining away as she realised there was more to this than she had thought.

If the Doctor had received Liv’s message to be picked up, but none of her letters had made it to Helen, that left only one explanation.

“I’m going to kill the Doctor!” the med-tech exclaimed, anger rising in her throat, and she spun around, marching back to the console room.

“Liv?” Helen called after her and quickly jumped to action as well. “LIV!” She rushed after her and while Liv should have taken that as a good sign, she was too preoccupied to notice.

“Doctor!” she snapped the moment they arrived in the control room. The Time Lord was still lounging in his armchair still.

“Now there is something I haven’t missed…” he hummed to himself, turning a page, but Liv didn’t stop to take offence. She walked right up to him and yanked the book out of his hands to demand his attention.

“Where are the things I sent?” she challenged without further ado.

“What do you mean?” he frowned, his face displaying genuine confusion.

“The post box, the one I used to get in touch with you. All the things I sent through it over time, where are they?” she reiterated, looking around the room as though she expected them to just be lying around.

“There was just your message to be picked up,” the Doctor answered slowly, sitting up a little straighter. She had his attention now.

“What?” Liv was confused, glancing in between her two friends who were looking back at her expectantly in return. “That can’t be!” She shook her head. “Where has all the rest gone? Can’t have just been stuck in that box, it was always gone when I returned!”

“Did you return often?” Helen asked and Liv nodded, suddenly finding herself at the verge of tears.

“Yes! Yes, I-”

A crushing wave of disappointment swept over her, drowning the hope she had harboured. It was no wonder Helen’s reaction had been the way it was. She had thought she had forgotten about her completely. While Liv didn’t know how much time had passed in the TARDIS in relation to how much time had passed for her, judging by the state her room had been in, and Helen’s general behaviour, it had been more than a few days or weeks…

She took a deep breath, wiping her eyes that threatened tears, but collected herself enough to focus on Helen and take the opportunity to explain.

“I- At first I tried to go all in being back, trying to- but even just after a few days, I was dying to talk to you, even just let you know what’s been happening and- I missed you. And so I thought I’d write and did,” she gave a little, helpless shrug. Helen looked back at her with visible concern which was a far cry from the anger she had been subjected to not long ago. She hoped, with a little time and the right words, she could at least make her understand. “Every couple of weeks at first but then- October came around and it would have been your birthday soon…” A small smile came to her lips at the memory. “And I came across this little bookshop and found the most perfect gift. So I had to buy it and thought maybe I could send it like the letters… So I put it in the box and waited to make sure it disappeared and it did!” She looked back to the Doctor almost helplessly. “So where did it go?”

“I haven’t got the faintest idea, Liv, I’m sorry,” he answered honestly, leaving the med-tech with a terrible feeling of emptiness and loss. Finding that book had meant so much to her, the idea of Helen having and hopefully enjoying it had given her so much hope…

“Don’t worry about it…” she mumbled, disheartened, and decided it was best to try and escape the situation. She would rather cry in privacy given everything that had happened.

“Hang on…” Helen stopped her in her tracks. “Was it… was it a first edition of Mrs Dalloway?” she asked carefully and Liv’s head snapped around to her.

“Yes. Yes it was!” she exclaimed. “How-”

“It…it appeared on my bedside table one night… I thought that TARDIS might have…” the linguist answered, her eyes widening with surprise and before Liv could say or do anything, the Doctor interrupted.

“Have you been playing tricks, Old Girl?” he asked of his ship, looking around the control room. “Have you been holding out on us?”

“But you didn’t get any of the letters?” Liv asked her best friend gently, confused but somewhat hopeful now. While she was glad to hear her present had made it, she had held out so much hope for those letters… The letters that might have given her insight into her increasingly troubled mind, detailing the slow but startling realisation that she had made the biggest mistake of her life. She’d sat up all night reading the book before taking it to the post box, knowing it to be one of Helen’s favourites, and like Mrs Dalloway herself, she had reminisced on her life, the missed opportunities and the state of entrapment she had manoeuvred herself into. At the time, she had put her thoughts to paper to send alongside her gift. She had waited by the postbox for days after, waiting - in vain - for any sort of acknowledgement or response, but none ever came. Now, she was beginning to see why.

At the time, Liv had been disappointed, returning somewhat angrily to the day to day, but it wasn’t long until she wrote to Helen again, a habit that soon turned into something that she needed like air to breathe. It felt, in a way, like a lifeline, her one connection to the life she’d had before. The life in which she had been so much happier, even without the things she’d hoped to have with Helen beyond their friendship.

“No… nothing… so I had no idea you…” Helen responded slowly, seemingly unsure how to traverse the situation, and Liv didn’t know what to feel either. Relief that her friend hadn’t ignored her all this time, or devastation that all her attempts at explaining had been pointless?

“Well they must be here somewhere,” the Doctor announced indignantly, glaring at the central column of the TARDIS. “What were you playing at, hmm?” He scowled. “Was there anything else, Liv?”

“There were a lot of things…” the med-tech admitted softly.

At Christmas she sent another gift and braved explaining why she had left, laying her heart bare for Helen to do with what she chose. She had sent a pair of earrings that she thought matched the star necklace she had gifted her many moons ago.

Liv wrapped her arms around herself as she thought of the many heartfelt words and gifts that had been intended for her best friend. None of which she had ever received.

“I think I’m just gonna-” Tears threatened to overwhelm her, and she made her excuses.

“Liv, where are you going?” Helen tried to stop her, but this time, Liv kept going. She needed a minute.

---

In the end, Liv barely had any time at all to get herself together. She’d just dropped onto the bed and buried her face in her hands when a knock sounded on her door. The door was gently pushed open, even without her explicit say so, and Helen stuck her head in.

“Hi…” she opened slowly. Her expression was a far cry from the angry glare she had regarded her with before. She seemed almost cautiously hopeful now, and it fanned the little flame of hope that Liv harboured herself.

“Hi…” she gave back softly.

“Would it be alright if I came in?” the blonde asked gently and Liv nodded. Of course it was more than alright if it meant things could get back to normal. “The Doctor said perhaps the TARDIS just wanted you to figure things out for yourself, without anything I said or didn’t say in response…” Helen ventured carefully as she took a seat beside her on the bed. “Like… like she wanted to make sure if you did choose to return, it was because you wanted to, and that there were no obligations for me to…” she gave a little shrug and a weak smile, and even though it was just a small gesture, it reminded Liv of just how beautiful that smile of hers was. She hoped she would see more of it again soon enough.

“I have no expectations, Helen,” she acknowledged softly. “I know I don’t deserve that. I just want to be back here. With you.”

“I want that, too,” the linguist answered, and Liv’s heart leapt in her chest.

“Really?” she asked, almost tearfully, and her friend nodded more firmly.

“Of course.”

“But you thought I’d forgotten all about you…” the med-tech observed mournfully, and she was surprised and delighted when Helen moved a little closer.

“But you didn’t, did you?”

“Not for a moment. Even in those first few days where I wanted to be angry with you for never-” she broke off, gathering her thoughts to rephrase what she had thus far only written, not said. “And then I felt that… absence. The hole you’d left that no-one would ever be able to fill.” She offered her an insecure smile. “Probably best you didn’t get that very first letter… I was trying to tell you how wonderful it all was and-” Inwardly she cringed as she recalled writing it with the thoughts that perhaps, with a little distance between them, Helen would realise what she was missing… But soon after her letters had changed entirely. “But not for long… I was missing you more and more every day, and writing was the only thing I could do that made me feel a little closer to you. I knew I couldn’t just come back, not that easily, I’d have made a fool of myself… not that it’s much better now.” She allowed herself a little chuckle and a sigh, though turned serious again after. “I guess I felt I owed it to Tania to at least try, but… And when you never responded, I thought you were done with me…” She still remembered that feeling and it brought tears to her eyes. “So I stayed far longer than I should have.”

“But you kept writing,” Helen asked quietly, and Liv shrugged again.

“Like the love sick idiot I was…” she muttered. “Whenever I saw something in a shop I thought you’d like… whenever I came across a book…” she sighed. “I didn’t send all of them… it was beginning to feel pointless but…” She gave a gesture towards one of the armchairs by the fire where a pile of books had been stacked high, each and every one intended for the woman beside her.

”Oh Liv…” the linguist seemed rather overcome when she realised as much.

“I fought with Tania a lot…” Liv continued thoughtfully, dropping her eyes to her hands that fiddled anxiously in her lap. “She was always keeping secrets and so was I…” Liv had never quite understood why Tania refused to tell her of the organisation she was so clearly working for, it would have done no harm, and so, the fact that she’d continued to lie was all the more hurtful. It did, however, make her feel better about the letters she had been writing and the feelings she’d continued to harbour for her best friend. “It stopped being a relationship long before we called time on it,” she declared, as it felt important for her to know that. “Moved back into flat four… Tony would look in on me occasionally… asking where it was I went when I did go out, because it wasn’t to a job or-” She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment as the feeling of loneliness she had experienced at the time caught up with her. It had been tough. “I’d sit across from the post box, writing my next letter… In the end he found out what I was doing. And he must have told Tania - even though we didn’t see much of each other anymore - because it was her that told me to pack my things and go. I felt like I had no place there, but no place here either.” It had been a sobering, painful realisation, but it was what she had needed to work up the courage to ask if she could return.

“You’ll always have a place here,” Helen offered gently, and she reached out to take her hand, stilling their anxious movements in her lap.

“That’s what I’d hoped, but can you blame me for assuming otherwise?” Liv looked at their hands resting together, and she brushed her thumb over the back of her knuckles, grateful for the bit of contact she was offering her. “I was surprised when the TARDIS turned up and for a moment, I was so happy. I thought everything would go back to normal, I thought- But then you didn’t want to see me and after everything I’d written, I assumed that meant that…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it and it seemed like she’d lost her attention too. Helen shifted uncomfortably, as though she had just sat on something.

“Liv… what’s that?” the linguist asked bewildered, shuffling aside.

“What?”

“There is something in the bed…” She pushed her free hand underneath the covers and retrieved what looked like a jewellery box… one that looked awfully familiar.

“I made that bed earlier, it wasn’t…” Liv’s eyes widened in shock when she realised it was the box that ought to contain the star earrings she had intended for Helen. “But-”

Suddenly, Liv’s wardrobe sprung open and like a tidal wave of white, envelopes came tumbling out, on and on they went, hundreds and hundreds of letters, they didn’t stop coming. Stunned Liv snatched one letter out of the air and instantly recognised her own scrawly handwriting in which she had written a single word to the top of every envelope: “Helen”.

“Liv… what is all this?” While Liv was too occupied with the letters, overwhelmed to find them all in one place all of a sudden, Helen jumped up from the bed that suddenly was a whole lot less comfortable than it had started out. The linguist tugged the duvet aside revealing a large number of presents dotted around the bed.

The med-tech looked around to see her picking up the items one by one with a sense of wonder, so she dropped the letters and returned to her side, happy to give some context.

“Christmas present 2021… Valentines… just because I saw it and thought of you…” She started pointing things out. “Easter - I don’t know if you’re meant to be getting Easter presents but- This I found at Camden Market and thought it would suit you… Another birthday…”

“Oh God, Liv-” Helen looked around to her in shock, and caught sight of the mountain of envelopes. “And all these letters?” She was in complete awe and Liv smiled, too, when she spotted the fine chain of stars that hung around the linguist’s neck. Her heart lifted.

“You still wear the necklace…” she observed softly and Helen looked down at the piece of jewellery as though she’d completely forgotten she was wearing it.

“I- Of course I do. It’s my-” She broke off, but brought up her hand to trail fingertips along the chain. “It means the world to me,” she confessed softly and Liv picked up the small jewellery box.

“I thought these would match it…” she told her as she opened the box and presented the earrings to her. “And there is a bracelet too somewhere…” She cast a quick glance at the bed. She hadn’t realised just how many things she had tried to send her over time.

“Liv-” Helen’s mouth fell open in shock, but the expression of joy and wonder in her eyes told the med-tech she had done something right.

There was, however, one more thing she had to say to make her peace with it all.

“I never, for a moment, forgot about you and with every day we were apart I realised just how much I loved you. I know that might not be in the cards for us, not anymore, but I need you to know that. You are the most important person in my life. Please allow me to share it with you again,” she requested softly as she looked up to her. “I have missed you so much…”

And before she could say any more, Helen covered her lips with her own. Liv blinked, stunned, but her body responded before her mind grasped what was happening. She took hold of the blonde’s face and kissed her back.

“I love you too, Liv,” Helen mumbled, pulling back shyly. “So much. And I couldn’t believe that you’d- after everything- I’m so sorry it took me so long to say it.” She dropped her eyes, anxiously biting her bottom lip but as Liv’s mind slowly caught up with what had happened, words broke out of her like a waterfall.

“I’m sorry I didn’t wait. I should have-” she stuttered. “I learned my lesson. Please can you just… can you give me a second chance?”

“Yes, I- I’d like that very much,” Helen smiled almost tearfully and as broke into a grin of relief, she leaned in and gently pressed their lips together once more, a soft, chaste gesture that served to pick up the pieces of Liv’s broken heart and mend them together, stronger and more hopeful than ever before.

“I guess I have a lot to read,” Helen hummed when she pulled back at last, casting a glance over to the mountain of letters.

“I guess you do…” the med-tech chuckled and sheepishly gestured towards the bed. “Surprise, I brought you presents.” Suddenly, it felt as though all her worries had been chased away, particularly when her best friend laughed, a genuine, joyful sound.

“You silly woman. You know you really are such an idiot, Liv, don’t you? All this, all the-” Helen seemed quite overcome and awkwardly, Liv scratched the back of her neck.

“I know. I’m a mess,” she acknowledged as there were no two ways about it.

“You are. But so am I. Why didn’t I just…” the blonde sighed, shaking her head to herself.

“Bad timing,” Liv observed and Helen nodded.

“We’ve always had bad timing. The letters could have done with arriving sooner...”

“Unless it was just the time we both needed?” she suggested, then asked cautiously. “Do you think this might be the right time now?”

“I think it definitely is the right time,” Helen gave back softly. “Just like you came into my life at just the right time.”

“Likewise,” Liv smiled and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. There, in each other’s arms they stayed for a long, long while.

“Now… presents, eh?” the linguist chuckled when they finally pulled apart.

“I have some way to go to make amends so yes, presents,” the med-tech broke into a grin. Sometimes, the greatest gifts were worth waiting for.

#doctor who #fanfiction #liv chenka #helen sinclair #eighth doctor #femslash #big finish #liv x helen #femslash february #stranded fix it

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fruit-teeth · 3 years

Text

Matters of Time and Fate (Chapter 26)

When Olivia looked into the metallic surface of the coffee pot, she remembered something she had buried years before: at three years old, her father brought a malfunctioning robot into his office.

Little Olivia, still sucking her thumb at the time, looked the slender robot up and down. She couldn't recall her thought process, but the prospect of sitting on the robot's shoulders piqued her interest. She rose up and slid across its lap without thinking, grasping for the shoulder to help herself up.

Right at that moment, the robot sparked, glitched, and grabbed her by the arm with no warning. Olivia shrieked in terror as it loomed over her, weapon in hand, preparing to strike.

Her father appeared out of nowhere, and all she could do was watch as he sank a screwdriver into the robot's cranium, thus stopping it in its tracks. It made a popping noise and sparked again, before crumpling to the floor.

“Why would you do that!?” Gray snapped at his three-year-old, yanking her to her feet. “I’ve told you never to touch my robots when I’m not around!”

Olivia only bawled, unable to form words as she rubbed her teary eyes, her body still shaking with fright. Gray pursed his lips together. “Oh, stop crying,” he sighed. “You’re all right, Olivia…”

When she continued to cry, he laid the screwdriver down and scooped her into his arms, hugging her close. She still remembered the smell of his cologne as he held her, mixed with the faint scent of metal. Even as the years would go by, she would never, ever forget that smell, or the comfort her father’s presence gave her.

That had been three years ago. Olivia moved her gaze away from the rusted coffee pot in Sniper's van kitchenette and back to the window.

“They’ve been taking too long,” she spoke up. “We need to go look for them!”

Zhanna looked up from her spot at the table, brow furrowing. “What? Olivia, they will come spoon. I say what I say before, do not worry.”

Olivia frowned, climbing up onto the seat beside Zhanna. “But what if something happened? We need to go help if…”

Zhanna shushed her, smoothing the girl’s hair back. “Misha is with them. So is Jane. My brother and husband are strong. No reason to be scared.”

“I guess…” Olivia hugged her knees. “I feel small again…”

“I am sorry,” Zhanna sighed, giving Olivia a little half-hug.

Lar-Nah then approached the table with a bag of chips in her hand. “What are these?” she asked Zhanna, showing her the bag.

Zhanna glanced at the bag. “Spicy cheese chips. From there,” she said, motioning to the gas station they were parked next to.

Lar-Nah opened the bag and stared into it for a few seconds, before reaching inside and pulling out a chip. She took a bite, chewed, before she coughed and spat the chip into the waste basket. “Oh, my god, that’s disgusting!” she wheezed and tried to compose herself, a look of horror on her face. “People eat these on purpose!? I hate this country!”

“You are wimp!” Zhanna scoffed at her, taking the bag and pulling a chip out to eat.

Olivia looked back out the window, just in time to see the headlights of Engie’s truck pull up. “They’re here!” she exclaimed, leaping from her seat and running right to the door.

Olivia stood in the parking lot while Engineer's truck and Miss Pauling’s car came to a halt. Everyone stepped out of either car, and within moments, Helen emerged. Her hair was down and soaking wet, and her makeup was smeared in the dim light of the gas station. Upon seeing her, Olivia was reminded of the night Helen had the water spilled on her.

“Look who we got back, Liv!” Scout greeted Olivia as he bounced out of the truck, stopping to ruffle her hair.

Olivia couldn’t help but giggle when Scout ruffled her hair, and she swung her hands at him. “Yeah!” she glanced back up, her eyes meeting Helen’s.

Engineer stepped out of the truck, pausing to talk to Helen. “Need anything else, ma’am?”

Helen just shook her head. “No, I’m quite all right.” She looked back to Olivia. “May I be alone with Olivia for a moment?”

“Sure, you don’t gotta ask,” Engineer assured. He took a moment to smile gently at Olivia. “I’m gonna stop at the station for some stuff, okay? Be right back.”

He followed Demoman and Heavy to the gas station, leaving Helen and Olivia in the parking lot alone. It was dark out by this point, and crickets could be heard chirping in the surrounding bushes.

For a moment, it seemed as though Helen wasn’t going to speak. Yet then, she knelt down carefully to Olivia’s level, maintaining eye contact with her.

“I just want to let you know…” Helen took a breath. “I’m – I’m deeply sorry for leaving you like that. I can understand how upsetting that must have been for you.”

Olivia stared down at her shoes on the pavement. The pavement looked damp, as if it had rained at some point, though she didn’t remember hearing any rain. “Yeah,” Olivia admitted. “I got sad. I cried.”

Helen nodded. “I see. I apologize…” she reached out to stroke Olivia’s hair, but stopped herself, pulling her hand back. “I want to make it very clear to you that you do not have to accept me as your mother. You do not have to forgive me, either. But…I will protect you always, for as long as I’ll live.”

“You promise?” Olivia asked, looking up into Helen’s eyes.

“Yes – I promise.” Helen affirmed. “I won’t put you into a stranger’s arms like I did before.”

Olivia did not quite know what she was referring to, but it didn’t matter. She was comforted by the fact that she'd been apologized to, yet she was still a bit sad. She gave Helen a nod before taking a step forward and resting her cheek against her shoulder.

Helen sat still for a moment, a little surprised, but she wrapped her arm around Olivia. They held each other in the darkness for a little more than a minute before Helen cleared her throat and stood. “W-well…we should get you back home, it’s getting awfully late for you.”

Olivia nodded in agreement. “Yeah…okay.”

Miss Pauling, Helen, Olivia, Spy, and Scout were the first to board Pauling's car, followed by Zhanna, Soldier, Demo, Sniper, and Lar-Nah in the camper van, and Heavy, Medic, Pyro, and Engineer in the truck. The plan was to return to the townhouse to relax and figure out what to do next, and everyone felt relieved for now.

Olivia sat in the back of Pauling’s car, tucked between Spy and Scout as they headed on their way home. She felt rather sleepy, now, and she yawned, her head coming to rest on Scout’s arm.

“Are you gettin’ tired, Liv?” Scout asked, ruffling her hair.

“I guess…” Olivia rubbed her eye. “But its not my bedtime…”

“You’ve had a lot of excitement today,” Spy replied, looking out the window and watching the scenery pass by. “We’ll get you straight to bed.”

In the passenger seat, Helen suddenly exclaimed, “The Australium!”

Miss Pauling looked up from the road ahead. “Huh?”

“I lost the briefcase in the water,” Helen groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Dear lord, how could I have—”

“I got it for you, ma’am,” Spy assured her from the backseat. “It washed up on shore while we were waiting for Dell to bring the truck. I put it in the trunk.”

Helen sighed with relief. “Thank you…you have no idea how much better that makes me feel…” she looked over her shoulder, seeing Olivia curled up next to Scout. She couldn’t help but smile a little. “You are very good with her, you know,”

“Oh,” Scout glanced up. “Thanks, I’m trying to be…she hasn’t tried to stab me again, so we’re good,” he laughed a little.

Olivia cracked her eyes open at that. “Oh…yeah. I forgot I did that.”

“Hey, its okay,” Scout patted her shoulder gently. “You wouldn’t do that again, though, right?”

Olivia pursed her lips in thought. “Um…hm…no, I wouldn’t try it again,”

Spy let out a snorting laugh, quite amused. “She had to think about it!”

Scout made a face and swatted at Spy. “Hey, c’mon, man! You know she wouldn’t do that, I’m her cool uncle! Or…whatever…” he clearly wasn’t angry, though, as he smiled a bit after he said it.

Olivia covered her mouth and snickered, curling her legs up in the seat. It seemed to her in that moment that everything would be okay.

And then it wasn’t.

The car suddenly screeched to a halt, and Miss Pauling grunted out, “Oh, god,”

When Olivia looked up, she saw a huge, unmarked white van right in the middle of the road, blocking both lanes. As she sat up taller to get a better look, she couldn’t see anyone inside.

Scout frowned. “Who the hell parks there? What are they, nuts?”

“There doesn’t appear to be anyone in it…” Spy observed. “Drive around on the grass, Miss Pauling,”

The walkie-talkie Pauling had on her dashboard came to life, with static and the voice of Engineer pouring through. “Everything okay up there?” he asked, sounding concerned.

Pauling answered, "Yeah, Engie, it's fine... There's an empty van blocking the road, but no one appears to be inside—"

Before she could finish her sentence, she could hear other cars revving in the distance, as well as motorcycles roaring and screeching. Within seconds, all three cars were surrounded by cars and motorcycles, their headlights almost blinding.

Olivia froze, and she could feel her heart drop immediately. Beside her, Spy tried to remain his composure, reaching for one of these guns. “Who are these people?”

Helen’s eyes scanned the surrounding people through the windows, and it was then she noticed letters painted on the front of one of the cars: SR. Security Republic.

Sage had found them.

Sure enough, there he was: stepping out of one of the cars and slowly approaching Pauling’s car. His eyes locked with Helen’s, and he grinned a wicked grin at her.

Helen’s eyes narrowed, and she knew what she had to do. She unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door. “Stay here. I’ll handle him.”

“But—” Pauling started to plead, but Helen had already closed the door.

Olivia moved towards the window to try and see what was going on, but Scout held onto her, keeping a protective, vice-like grip on her.

As Helen stepped out onto the grass, Sage met her in the middle. “Hello, my darling stepmother,” he greeted her with a voice like molasses. “It pays to have security cameras installed around town, doesn’t it?”

Helen clenched her jaw. “So, that’s how you’ve been tracking us down? You sell security cameras to people in this town just to use them for your own espionage?”

Sage shrugged. “It’s all business, Helen. Don’t act as though you have the high ground, we’ve all done the same thing…”

“Just…” Helen took a long breath. “I know who you’re after, Phoenix. I know Olivia was the target of those bounty hunters you sent after us.” She leaned in to look him dead in the eyes. “What is it you want with her?”

“I just want to talk,” Sage replied, almost sounding innocent. “I have some business ideas in mind, and I know how her father raised her. I think—”

Helen held up her hand to stop him. “Are you looking to get Mann Co.’s rights from her? Because you should know, she does not have them,”

“Who said that was what I was after?” Sage snorted. “Just tell your friends and her to come to my office, and we can forget this whole thing even happened.”

“Olivia will not be going anywhere with you.” Helen asserted, crossing her arms. “Call off this futile mission, Sage. Go back to your mansion, or I will not hesitate to rain hell upon you.”

Sage’s demeanor switched to one of pure rage, and he furrowed his eyebrows. “Why can’t you just hand over Olivia, Helen? She’s the last daughter of the Manns, what do you care what happens to her?”

Helen said nothing, staring directly into Sage’s eyes. It was then, though, that it seemed to click for Sage, and his face fell.

“Is Olivia…” he began, trying to form words. “Is she…your daughter? Did you and Gray—”

“That will be all,” Helen raised her voice at him. “Call off your team and go home this instant.”

A look of pure rage formed on Sage’s face, and without warning, he pulled out a long knife and thrust it towards Helen’s stomach. Helen acted fast, covering her midsection with one arm and using the other one to grab his wrist. The knife nicked her, however, drawing blood across her forearm and causing her to yell.

From the car, Pauling saw this and cried out, “Helen! Oh, my god!” within seconds, she leapt out of the vehicle with a pistol and aimed at Sage’s head. Sage ducked out of the way, but it wasn’t enough, and the bullet shattered his shoulder within seconds.

The scream he made sounded like a wounded animal, and Pauling grabbed Helen, yanking her to the car. Once in the car, Pauling snatched up the walkie talkie and alerted those in the other cars, “Guys, we gotta get out of here! Follow my car and just drive as fast as possible!”

“What happened?” Olivia wanted to know, looking out of the window in a mix of fear, excitement, and confusion.

Helen pulled out a tissue from the glove compartment, pressing it to her wound as Pauling sped through the row of motorcycles and onto the grass. “We’re going to be all right, Olivia! Lay low and don’t let them see you!”

The van and truck followed suit, speeding off into the green countryside. A few of Sage’s guards swarmed him to tend to his gunshot wound, and Sage yelled out, “Well!? Go after them, idiots!”

Men on motorcycles and in cars soon sped after the group, engaging on a chase through the grass and thicket.

Olivia didn't realize what was going on at first: she could feel them speeding down the road, and when she looked out the window, the scenery passed by so quickly that it made her dizzy.

Out of nowhere, a masked person on a motorcycle caught up to them, a baton in their hand. They began to try and smash the window, but before they could get very far, Scout rolled the window down and punched the attacker directly in the face. They yelled, then tried to steady themselves to attack Scout, but Scout let out a string of expletives as he punched him again, this time hard enough to knock them off the motorcycle.

Within seconds, another rider zoomed up and began shooting directly at Scout. Spy acted quickly, yanking Scout back into the car and exchanging gunfire with the attacker. He managed to hit them, sending them flying backwards.

“God – thanks, man!” Scout panted, watching as Spy zipped back into the car and rolled the window up.

“There’s more coming up,” Spy informed the others, the gun still in his hand. “What should we do!?”

Miss Pauling gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white. “I…I don’t know! There’s a lot of them, is it worth it to stop and fight them!?”

“Keep going!” Helen urged. “We have to try and lose them, all of you seem woefully underprepared for another fight!”

“Well, that’s ‘cause we were going to help you!” Scout barked, feeling a little offended. “

“I know!” Helen rasped, still wincing as she tended to her wound. The car rounded a sharp curve, jostling everyone inside, and Helen glanced back at Olivia. “Lay down! Olivia, lay low! I mean it!”

Olivia obeyed, laying flat on her stomach in the backseat, though she kept her head lifted to watch and get a sense of what was going on. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest – none of this felt real. They'd been ambushed by strange attackers twice in one day, but her mind kept returning to the same scene: being held helpless, the robot arm holding her down while the weapon glinted above her.

Her father wouldn’t be here now, though. What if the other adults were not as strong as him?

The car shook, and Olivia heard Miss Pauling scream. She looked up, alarmed, just in time to see a man leap onto the hood of the car and lower himself down to smash the window with a baton. He was successful, the glass showering the backseat of the car.

Spy whipped out his gun again and began shooting, but the man acted faster and grabbed Olivia by the arm. Olivia shrieked, only able to watch as Scout wrapped his arm around the man's throat and began to choke him. They only struggled for a few seconds in the backseat before Spy yanked them apart and jammed the gun into the man's throat. The man wrestled with him, though, gripping his wrist and tussling with him while trying to keep a grip on Olivia. He pried the gun away from Spy’s hand, letting out a triumphant laugh. Helen whipped off her high heel and began furiously attempting to stab the man with the sharp angle of the heel, causing him to turn the gun on her. She ducked out of the way as the bullet shattered a portion of the windshield and littered more glass throughout the vehicle.

For a brief moment, Olivia felt as though she wasn’t in her body, as if she’d stepped away just to observe what was happening from a different angle. In those few seconds, she thought back on what her father had said in that dream – how she had forgotten herself, how she had become passive and afraid…

Olivia returned to herself just as the attacker got Spy’s gun away from him and aimed it at his head.

In a split second, Olivia spotted the knife that had fallen out of Spy’s pocket, and she snatched it up. Before anyone noticed her, she struggled to reveal the blade before springing up and jamming it into the man’s eye.

He may have screamed – she thought she heard him scream. His blood ended up on her hands, there was so much more than she thought there would be. As she fell back into the seat, Scout flung the car door open, kicking the attacker out onto the pavement of the road as they sped into the oncoming town.

As the door slammed shut, Helen leapt out of her seat, rushing into the back to Olivia’s side and wiping the blood off her with a napkin.

“Did I kill him?” Olivia panted, eyes wide as she shook. She’d fought grown men before, but she had never drawn blood. She’d never done…whatever that just was.

“I have no idea,” Helen confessed, wiping Olivia’s hands down. “How do you feel?”

The adrenaline still flowed through Olivia’s body. “I don’t…I don’t know…” she confessed.

“You were very brave,” Helen released Olivia once she was clean. “Now, stay down. I mean it,” she gave her daughter’s hand a light squeeze, her other hand taking a moment to brush her cheek.

Olivia nodded, curling in on herself again, but this time there was a different feeling in her. Not a helplessness, but a hope.

Behind them, the truck and the van stayed close by, blocking off the Security cars and motorcycles the best they could. All of the sudden, something in Engie’s truck popped, and smoke began billowing out from under the hood.

“No, no, no, no!” Engineer cried out, exasperated. “Shit, it’s the motor! God, no, I had a feeling this would happen!”

“Can you fix it!?” Medic asked, looking out the window with anxious eyes as another Security car approached.

Engineer kept his foot on the accelerator, eyes locked on the road ahead. “I have a generator in the back, but I can’t hook it up while I’m driving – someone else needs to!”

Pyro waved their hand around, mumbling out an offer. Engineer glanced over at them, before nodding frantically. “Okay! You know how to do it? It’s in the bed of the truck, you just hook the blue wire to the red one! The whole thing’s already hooked up, just be careful!”

Nodding, Pyro climbed out of the back and out into the truck’s bed, steadying themself as they began to work on the generator. They were instantly noticed by another agent on a motorcycle, who zipped up to the truck and pulled out a gun. Pyro did not see this, however, as they were too busy with the instructions Engie had given them.

Heavy noticed the potential attacker through the rear-view mirror and smashed his hand through the window, grabbing the agent by the throat. The agent gagged in shock as Heavy lifted him right off his motorcycle, and within seconds, he tossed the man into the path of one of the oncoming cars.

As the affected car swerved off the road to deal with the unexpected hit, Heavy fell back into the truck, grunting and picking glass out of his fist. Medic sprang to help him right away, cleaning out his wounds.

“Gott, I love you,” Medic whispered, still in awe of what he witnessed Heavy do. Heavy just smiled, briefly, before glancing back out the window to watch for any more attacks.

Pyro then switched on the generator, slipping back into the truck and signaling to Engineer that they’d done it.

“Good work, Py!” Dell praised breathlessly. “Now let’s get the rest of these creeps off of us!”

Everyone tried their hardest to get away from their pursuers, but the chase was becoming increasingly difficult. The rural areas disappeared and very soon, the pursuit continued into the town.

Sniper’s voice crackled over the walkie-talkie. “What now!?”

Miss Pauling grunted, laying down on the gas pedal. “Keep going, I guess! Try and throw them off our path!”

From inside the van, bottles rattled in the cabinets above as Sniper sped up faster to try and lose the attackers. Out of nowhere, a skinny form leapt from one of the cars, shattering the front window of the van and tackling Sniper.

Sniper let out a yell, the van swerving as he fought his assailant off. When he threw her to the floor of the van, he recognized her right away: it was Shell, one of the bounty hunters who ambushed the house before.

Shell struggled to her feet, pure rage in her eyes. “I knew I’d catch up to you bastards! For what you did to my team, I’m gonna fuck you up!” she lunged at Sniper, but he blocked the attack, grabbing her by the hair and smashing her face against the dashboard.

Demo dashed to the driver's seat door, and when he flung it open, he was met by Shell leaping back onto Sniper and attempting to claw his face.

Right away, Demo pulled the woman off, securing her arms behind her back. Shell twisted and snarled in rage, shouting at Sniper, “I know it was you! I know it was you who killed Grudge with the microwave!”

“What!?” Sniper exclaimed, startled to learn that she apparently knew what happened. Before he had time to ask questions, though, someone else had appeared at the doorway.

“You’re wrong!” Lar-voice Nah's drew Shell's attention, and when the two women locked eyes, Lar-Nah simply stated, "I did it, not him!"

Instantly, pure rage filled Shell’s face, and she twisted her foot around to kick Demo in the gut as hard as she could. He lost his grip on her with an audible 'oof' and couldn't regain it as she tackled Lar-Nah to the ground and began attacking her like a wild animal. Lar-Nah, on the other hand, managed to deflect her attack by slipping out from under her and sprinting back into the van's living area.

Shell gave chase, pulling a knife out of her pocket and catching up to Lar-Nah. Before anyone could react, Shell shoved her up against the wall and sunk the knife into her chest.

“Bitch!” Shell spat at her, pulling the knife out but holding it with the intention to stab again. “Any last requests!?”

Lar-Nah coughed, startled by the blood beginning to pool out from her chest. Still, she looked into Shell’s eyes and only glared. “Go to hell,” she spat through clenched teeth, her hand struggling to grip Shell’s wrist to keep the knife away.

Before Shell could make another stabbing attempt, Zhanna yanked her away from Lar-Nah. Shell tried to attack her as well, but Zhanna just knocked her in the head with her hand. The force was enough to cause a sickening crack, and Shell crumpled to the ground with a broken neck in seconds.

After checking to make sure Shell had indeed died, Zhanna rushed to Lar-Nah, helping her up but then noticing the blood. “Oh!” Zhanna exclaimed, panicked. “Stabbed!”

Demo took over driving, and Sniper came sprinting to the scene. “Mom! Oh, my god, oh, my god!” he examined her wound, wincing at how deep it looked. “Bloody hell—shit!”

Lar-Nah tried to catch her breath, wiping blood from her mouth though clearly getting weaker. “I’m fine…I’m fine…” she gurgled out another cough, pressing her eyes shut in pain.

“Is she dying!?” Soldier asked, rather blunt as he stared in alarm.

Zhanna looked her over. “No, did not stab her heart. But maybe she hit throat…I cannot tell,”

Sniper leapt up to his cabinets, pulling down a medkit he’d had stashed there. “Mom—hey, you’re gonna be okay! Okay?” he tried his best to reassure her, but it looked as though she’d fallen unconscious.

The car jolted and swerved, and more gunshots could be heard outside, but Sniper drowned it all out as he used the supplies Medic had packed in the kit to treat her wound. He silently prayed she would survive – even after everything, he couldn’t watch another parent die.

Once he’d bandaged her up, he tried to figure out what to do next. “We need Medic here! Can one of you flag him down or—”

All of the sudden, Lar-Nah coughed and gasped loudly, eyes flying open wide. Zhanna quickly assisted her in sitting up, patting her back and allowing her to resume normal breathing.

Sniper let out a breathless laugh of relief. “You’re alive! Oh, my god, I thought you were gone for good!”

Lar-Nah composed herself, swallowing and taking another long breath. “I’m alive,” she observed, sounding shocked by that fact. “I thought for sure I’d died for a minute! I saw…angels or something…”

Before kneeling to continue speaking with her, Sniper looked out the window to make sure no one else was trying to break in. “Yeah? You saw something?”

“Yes—I saw…” she thought hard for a few seconds, trying to make sense of it. “I saw a man and a woman—I didn't know them at all—but...they were very kind to me and told me to go back to keep you out of trouble,”

Sniper let this process, and when he realized who she’d met, he had to fight away the tears he felt welling up. “Yeah,” he sniffed, putting his hand on her shoulder and pulling her in for a hug. “Yeah, that sounds like something they’d say…”

The hug took Lar-Nah by surprise at first, but it soon clicked for her, and she slowly brought her arms up to hug him back. “I’ll listen to them,” she promised.

Sniper pulled away, wiping his eyes with his wrist. “Okay…thank you.” He smiled at her a little, but it was then that something shattered outside.

Soldier ran right to the window. “We’re in town, now! We’re going right for those stores!”

“What!?” Sniper leapt up, watching in horror as Demo drove the van right through the parking lot of the shopping plaza.

“Sorry!” Demo apologized from the driver’s seat. “I’m following the others, and that’s where they’re headed!”

Sure enough, the chase had continued into the shopping plaza. Several people were around at this point, watching the chase in terror as they scrambled to get away from the cars and motorcycles. The attention of pedestrians made Helen exceedingly uncomfortable.

“Get us out of this parking lot!” she shouted at Miss Pauling. “People are staring!”

“I’m trying!” Miss Pauling desperately jerked the wheel, looking for a way out. She spotted an area that led into a backroad, and she headed straight for it, searching for an escape.

However, she’d failed to realize that with the attention of pedestrians also came the attention of police.

Within seconds, police cars swarmed them. Someone yelled over a megaphone for everyone to step out of their vehicles as sirens blared overhead.

From the backseat, everything else felt like a blur to Olivia. There was yelling, and she watched as an officer tried to pull Scout from the car, while Spy desperately tried to pry him away, only to be apprehended as well.

She saw, for a brief moment, one of the security guards pull the sheriff aside and whisper something to him. Whatever he had said made the sheriff order his men to load the mercenaries into security vans rather than their own police cars. This included Olivia – someone carried her to one of the vans, handcuffed her, tossed her in the back and slammed the door.

Helen was beside her, though. Just as everything sank in and Olivia began to panic, Helen hushed her gently and pressed close to her.

“We're going to be fine,” she said quietly, resting her chin on the top of Olivia's head, unable to hold her due to her handcuffs. Helen was visibly unnerved, though – her body was trembling, yet whether it was fear or rage Olivia could not tell.

Olivia still felt afraid, but she pressed close to her mother, trying her best to calm down. She could vaguely see the shapes of the others being loaded into the vans through the dim windows, but she did not know for what reason.

All she could hope was that they would have the strength to escape when they could.

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elizabethshaw · 2 years

Text

Okay. Thoughts on Stranded 3! (under the cut for spoilers):

Starting off, I really enjoyed this boxset!! I'll be honest and say I did kinda miss the more domestic aspects of the previous two, but the creativity of the stories this time definitely made up for it! There were some really cool concepts in each of them, and the atmosphere of each story was also done very well.

The first episode was probably my favourite - it was very unhinged and kinda trippy but in a good way, and was very satisfying to see come together. I also loved how the characters were paired off in different ways, it made for some interesting dynamics and a fresh perspective on the team as a whole I think. (Andy and Liv's dynamic was also just. Really fucking hilarious ngl, right from the off. Loved it.)

The second episode was also really cool! There was something disorientating about being dropped in in the middle of an adventure, but it actually worked, and the tension of everyone working undercover was really well done too.

"Snow" was one I was predicting would make me cry based off what had been said about it before release, and, in a surprising turn of events, I Was Right. For some reason I've got incredibly attached to Ron and Tony while listening to Stranded, so the whole plotline around Ron's grief over Tony's death... it got to me, to say the least. Add in the scenes between Liv and Tania, and the stuff with Zakia... it was a Lot (in the best way!!)

And the last episode. I knew before it was gonna be ordered weirdly, but hearing the credits at the start proper disorientated me akskfjgjksjf Anyway, this was a very interesting one (that I think I'm definitely going to have to relisten to to really get the most out of) - it was definitely an experiment, but I think it worked, and did a great job at showing the impact the smallest events or words can have on the bigger picture. Absolutely devastated at what happened to Andy though 😭 Hope he gets out of it somehow...

However, (as there are with these things), there were a few creative choices I didn't like quite as much unfortunately. I mentioned in the tags of an earlier post that I was a bit disappointed in how sidelined Helen felt at times (mainly in the last two episodes) - I'm a massive fan of her as a character (like, I absolutely cannot understate how much I love her, idk exactly why but I have vibed with her on an unreal level), and tbh I would have liked her to feel a little more involved at times this boxset.

I also would've liked a bit more between the central trio of Eight, Liv and Helen, because I really love their weird little found family dynamic, and their friendship is the main reason I've loved their audios so much, and if I'm being honest it didn't really feel like they interacted as a trio at all in these episodes which was a bit of a shame. The same also goes for the individual dynamics between them - Eight and Helen got some good material as a duo, but Liv didn't actually have that many proper scenes with the others :/ (However, I did really love the scenes she had with Tania this series!!! I am admittedly still a Liv/Helen fan and clowning myself hoping something still might happen with those two, but I've really liked how Liv and Tania's relationship has grown so far, and I thought they had the best emotional content by far in this boxset.)

(I am now very worried Liv's gonna leave at the end of Stranded though. I reckoned that would be what would happen for a while, but now it seems a bit more real and. I'm not ready for her to leave yet aaaaaaaaaaaaa-)

Overall though, very good boxset!! I think I'm going to have to relisten, and at a bit of a slower pace, to really appreciate everything, but I definitely enjoyed this rather crazy first listenthrough :)

Other misc thoughts, in no particular order, and not coherent in any way:

"There's an alien chair! Two alien chairs! By an alien table!" "Stop saying alien." "No, it's just... oh, what's that feeling?" "Sunstroke." 💀💀

I said earlier that Liv and Andy's dynamic was one of my favourite parts of ep1, the comedy of it all was just... so funny

Helen and Tania's dynamic was also very cool; I've always liked the little we've got of their friendship and it was nice to see it explored a bit more :)

The way I unironically thought when the psychic stuff and visions started being brought up that the writers might actually have decided to do something more with Helen's eldritch psychic powers... i am such an idiot

(I may or may not have a whole mini essay of a post about said powers currently sitting in my drafts... not sure whether to post it though)

Tania just. Lying on the floor feeling slightly dead inside... mood

"I used to think I couldn't... wouldn't find what you've found. But seeing you two... it gives me hope." Shut up shut up i am actually going to cry

They didn't really touch on it much this time around, unlike with stranded 2, but I'm glad they did still have some continuation of the subtextual arc about Helen coming to terms with her sexuality and that she can be happy as who she is; it makes me Feel Things and I hope it's still given time to breathe in stranded 4

Liked the intermittent scenes with Eight narrating a story with this ep, kinda reminded me a bit of Better Watch Out/Fairytale of Salzburg and his storytelling then

Liv being described as a "rainbow dolphin" is singlehandedly one of the funniest things to come out of this series istg

Ah yes, solitary, my favourite card game

Episode two my beloved thank you for giving me the Helen Content i owe you my life <3

Helen deciding that if Liv was gonna die she was too definitely Got Me emotionally (their devotion to each other... god), but also uh. She was very quick to decide dying was the best option there. Is she okay

Also Liv is very much Going Through It this time round - hope she gets a break at some point

The snow keeping Ron company because he missed Tony so much 😭 this is fine (it's not fine.)

The stuff between Liv and Tania in ep3 was so heartbreaking too!!! The bond between them both felt so much deeper this boxset, and in a way that was such a natural progression from the previous stories, and really helped make the emotional crux of this episode even stronger

This story was also very much Fairytale of Salzburg if Fairytale of Salzburg was just. Really really depressing

Anyway this is irrelevant but what happened to their eighty-year-old stasis field cat from 2.3?? Is she okay???

"What Just Happened?" was the most appropriate title possible for that last episode. It was easier to grasp than I thought it'd be, but still Very Mad haha

Idk I feel like the way it was structured actually made the emotional impact stronger? Like there was something really compelling about seeing where the events were unfolding from, and realising the little things that were adding up to what happens at the beginning, and it made it retrospectively hit a lot harder

If Eight, Liv and Helen don't get at least one group hug in the next boxset I'm rioting

#stranded 3 #stranded spoilers #bethan talks about dw #bethan listens to big finish #i did actually post this in a reblog at like 2am but i'm redoing it now as a separate post bc it felt more appropriate idk??#this is kinda incoherent and rambly bc i was very overexcited when i wrote it but!! yknow!! stranded!!!#have also very much outed myself as a Massive Fan of Helen oops #characters that live rent-free in my head etc etc #anyway!! had lots of fun with this #have already relistened to the first two episodes #and i'm very up for talking about stranded (or any of the other eight/liv/helen audios) with people if anyone wants :)

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hgfanonezillion · 4 years

Text

For @neighborhoodkitchenwitch, here is your request. (unbeta’d and not thoroughly edited, so please forgive any mistakes. I’ll fix them if I ever get around to posting this on AO3.)

Jules groaned at his phone and typed a furious reply.

Emma grinned and leaned on her hand. “What is it now?”

“Helen is asking if they need to prepare for a plus one.”

“My offer still stands, you know?” Emma went back to her essay. “I pretend to be your girlfriend and let everyone fall madly in love with me and then I break up with you after we leave. And then you can pretend I broke your heart, so you’re swearing off dating forever.”

Julian laughed. “I guess. If you don’t mind giving up your holiday.”

Emma shrugged. “The alternative is staying on campus and going to my humanities professor’s house.”

“I hear he goes all out.” Jules offered.

“I hear he does too. But I couldn’t care less. My motives aren’t entirely altruistic. I need to see this mansion you grew up in.”

Jules laughed. “It’s a pretty big house, but not a mansion. And I have no idea how many people will be showing up. It could be close quarters.”

Emma’s eyes lit up. “Like, there’s only one bed? Whatever will we do?”

Jules shook his head. “Like, I have a couch in my room that I can sleep on if need be.”

Her jaw dropped. “You have a couch in your bedroom? I barely had a couch in my living room growing up.” She continued to shake her head in disbelief and attempted to finish her essay.

****

“Okay, so you’re going to have to remind me of every single person in your family.” Emma said as they pulled into the driveway. “I’m never going to remember them all.”

“It’ll be fine. Just make nice with Helen’s wife Aline and you will be golden.” Jules couldn’t help but feel anxious anyway. Would everyone believe he and Emma were actually dating?

Livvy answered the door and threw herself at Julian. “I missed you!”

Jules laughed and spun her around. “I missed you, Liv.” He kissed her cheek and saw Ty standing nearby. He walked over and gave his brother a quick hug, which Ty returned with a lot less reluctance than Jules expected.

Livvy held out her hand. “Hi, you must be Emma. I’m Livia. That’s Ty.” She pointed over her shoulder.

Ty gave a nod of greeting and then put his headphones back in place.

Emma slipped her hand into Julian’s hand as he led her further into the house. He introduced her to all the people they passed. There were far more than he even realized would be in attendance.

Aline and Cristina were working in the kitchen. Kieran enthusiastically chopped vegetables. It wasn’t very pretty, but Kieran still worked.

“How can I help?” Emma asked once Jules had introduced her around.

Aline looked around the room. She pointed to a pot. “Those potatoes can be mashed. The masher thing is in the drawer to the left of the sink.”

Emma gave Julian a quick kiss on the cheek and then wandered away to find the potato masher.

Jules sat at the table with Kieran.

“She’s cute.” Kieran said, watching her across the room.

“She is.” Jules had tried to keep Emma from this pretend dating thing mostly because he had a gigantic crush on her.

Mark came into the house and dropped a grocery bag on the island. “My wife requests and I provide.”

“Thank you, Mark.” Cristina said with a smile.

Kieran stood. “I’ll brew the ginger tea.”

Cristina shook her head. “Don’t do that.” She pointed between Mark and Kieran. “We talked about this.”

Kieran sighed and sat back down. “Sorry.”

Cristina set a kettle on the stove.

Julian noted a look that passed between Mark and Kieran. Something was happening that he didn’t understand. He’d definitely have to ask Mark about it later. Kieran was like a steel trap when it came to any information.

Emma was making herself at home rummaging in the fridge and in Aline’s spice collection.

Aline gave her an appreciative grin and caught Julian’s eye across the room. She gave him a thumbs up and then went back to the gravy.

****

Julian had never tasted mashed potatoes so tasty in his life. Like, they were mashed potatoes, how hard could they be? But these were like heaven in his mouth. What was that?

“I put a fuck-ton of sour cream and butter in them.” Emma was explaining to Dru. “And garlic powder. Though, actual garlic would have been a better choice. I sometimes put bacon grease in it when I have it.”

Aline gave an appreciative nod. “Next time I’ll make sure to have those on hand for you. I usually just do butter, salt, and pepper.”

“No offense, babe,” Helen said, “but Emma’s win. The turkey is fantastic, though.”

“And the green bean casserole.” Mark said. “All delicious.”

Jules noticed that Cristina pushed everything around her plate. She looked a little green.

Kieran was across from her. “Dearest, try to eat something.”

Mark looked over, mouth full as he spoke. “Do you need more ginger tea?”

“I need you two to stop acting like me being pregnant is a big deal.” Cristina snapped.

The room froze.

“Definitely not how I wanted to say that.” Cristina mumbled.

Julian saw Mark beaming. Kieran reached a hand across the table and squeezed hers.

The room erupted once more in conversation. Julian watched Emma across the table. She was very animated with Dru and Livvy. She even talked to Tavvy. Maybe he had a little more than a crush.

****

The couch that Jules said was in his bedroom was more of a love seat. His lanky form squeezed into it and he seemed to be sleeping fine. But Emma didn’t feel like it was fair. She’d tried to get him to sleep on the bed and let her have the couch, but he insisted.

She watched him a few more minutes before she made a final decision. She walked across the room and shook his shoulder.

Julian’s eyes squinted open. “Hm?”

“Come sleep in the bed with me.” Emma said. “Your back is going to be hurting tomorrow if you sleep here.”

“I’m fine.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Come to bed.” She pulled on his arm and brought him toward the bed.

The first several minutes the two lay there very stiff. Finally, Emma wrapped her arm around Julian’s waist.

“I like your family.” She said softly.

“I think they like you too.” He relaxed into her. “They’re going to hate when we break up.”

“We don’t have to.” Emma pressed her foot between Julian’s. “We can make this official. I’ve kind of had a crush on you since I met you.”

“Me too.” Julian chuckled. “I mean, I guess if you want.”

“Yes. I do want it. Very much.” She pressed a soft kiss to his lips and then rolled over and pulled his arms around her waist. “Good night.”

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mothermaidenclone-blog · 5 years

Text

Ad Astra or This Movie Was the Brad Pitts

Ad Astra was the worst movie I have paid to see since 2015’s Kill Your Friends, which is my least favourite cinema experience of all time. It was a dry and dreary story about emotionally stunted white men in a bleak and boring capitalist version of space, with jarring and superfluous Christian undertones. The plot and everyone’s motives were so non-existent that Brad Pitt had to narrate the whole thing in a monotone so flat and dead I literally screamed all the way from the cinema to the bus stop when it was over, partly out of a frustration so deep it was non-verbal, but also just to finally hear some pitch variation.

*Ad Astra spoilers follow*

There technically were women in this movie. Lots of women, particularly women of colour, occupied high ranking positions and were addressed by their titles, a touch I think is important and that usually tips the scales in favour of a good review for me. We were graced with Adjutant General Vogel (LisaGay Hamilton), Captain Lu (Freda Foh Shen), Sergeant Romano (Kimmy Shields), Tanya Pincus (Natasha Lyonne) and Lorraine Deavers (Kimberly Elise), as well as several unnamed female personnel (Kayla Adams, Elisa Perry, Sasha Compère and Mallory Low). I would like to particularly highlight Natasha Lyonne’s performance as apparently she was the only actor employed to play a human being and not a replicant. She was on screen for maybe twenty seconds, as is sadly the case with most of these women, but was a glorious breath of fresh air as the only character to simultaneously emote expressively and speak with inflection and enthusiasm. The only one! In a two hour movie!

All of these women appear to be respected and capable members of various illustrious teams, but are always outnumbered by men. There are two male generals alongside Vogel and Deavers is initially outnumbered 4:1 on her space craft by men. Tragically, whenever a team is being picked off, it is always the people of colour who die first. Not only is this obviously racist, it is just a disgusting cliché that we just don’t need to see anymore in movies. Deavers dies first when Roy (Brad Pitt) forcibly invades their vehicle, followed by Franklin Yoshida (Bobby Nish), an Asian man, and Donald Stanford (Loren Dean), a white guy, is the last to go. Roy cradles him in his arms and attempts to save his life. I hope it’s not just me that sees something wrong with the order of events there.

A similar scenario takes place in the lunar chase, which absurdly seems to occur in the same crapy looking buggies as the original moon landing, a confusing visual choice considering we’ve just seen a vast and impressive modern concrete moon base. The film takes the time to introduce us to Willie Levant (Sean Blakemore), a black officer who will be escorting Ray across the moon. As soon as we see he has a photo of his wife and child taped to his tablet screen I knew he was going to die - in the year 2019 I should not be able to predict that a black character is going to die because we saw a family photo. Can we just not anymore? Again, aside from the racism, that’s just shitty writing. I like to think that as a species, if we can conceptualise something as vast and seemingly impossible as solar travel, we can also move beyond basic and derogatory cinematic tropes.

I was most excited by the appearance of Helen Lantos (Ruth Negga), a woman of colour who occupies a position of power on Mars and introduces herself assertively using her full name. Also, her whole look was excellent. However, this brief release of serotonin was very short lived as she literally walks Roy down a corridor then is immediately cut off and superseded by a white guy with a man bun. Lantos does return later, but alas, as an exposition machine to give Roy some plot news about his dad. Even as she explains that her parents were murdered by his, Lantos falls victim to the dire, emotionless monotone that I can only assume was forced on the entire cast of this film. Then, she is an actual chauffeur and drives Ray to a manhole so he can continue his dad quest. A character brimming with original potential is presented as nothing more than a device.

The final woman to mention is the first one we see, Roy’s ex-wife Eve (Liv Tyler). We see the blurry, out of focus back of her head in the background of a shot before we see her face, and this is incredibly telling, because that’s all Eve is, the simulacrum of a woman. She could be anybody - so why she is Liv Tyler defies belief, I can only assume they held her loved ones hostage - her story is untold and entirely irrelevant. Again, she is only a device, although this time not for Roy’s forward momentum, but this time seemingly to emphasise that Roy is a total sociopath with no emotions whatsoever. We don’t learn Eve’s name for another twenty minutes, and it is an hour and twenty minutes before we hear her speak. Even then, it’s not a live conversation, because god forbid this film have too many of those, but a voice recording explaining that their relationship is over. I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty sure that’s what it was, but everything she said was so generic I have no memory of it whatsoever. She is presented as a ghost, a blurry image on a screen, a memory fixed in time, not a real person with agency and personality. At the end of the movie we finally see her in real time, and that is when she has made the unfathomable decision to meet Roy for coffee. Even her face in that moment gives no emotion away, perhaps because Tyler had no idea how to act this entirely nonsensical decision. To our knowledge, she would not have seen any change in Roy, only received news that he survived a dangerous space mission, which is apparently enough of a reason to get back with this emotionless egg of a man?

I almost didn’t want to devote words to them, but I think it’s important to address just how dire Roy and his dad H. Clifford McBride (Tommy Lee Jones) are. This is their film, they are the reason that all of these women’s stories are passed over. It is made clear over and over again that both Roy and Clifford believe they are the only people capable of completing their various missions. Roy hijacks a ship and inadvertently kills everyone on board because he thinks that it’s his destiny or whatever to get his dad back, never mind that they were all highly trained space personnel who were arguably better suited to the mission precisely because it wasn’t their dad. Clifford straight up murders his whole crew because they are too “small minded” to fly off further and further into space forever on a mission that has yet yielded absolutely no evidence of their goals. A variety of talented human beings are destroyed because of the entitlement of white men, their delusional and unshakable conviction that they are at the centre of the universe and that no one else could possibly accomplish the lofty goals that kismet apparently calls them to.

The way they speak about themselves and to each other is absolutely psychotic. Roy’s solo musings include, “The flight recorder will tell the story, but history will have to decide,” and “In the end, the son suffers the sins of the father.” Clifford imparts his son with the delightful greeting of, “There was never anything there for me, I never cared for you or your mother or your small ideas.” In addition, they both physically flinch from human contact at various points in the move. Now, I totally understand that we live in a neurodiverse world and that many people experience emotions and social interactions in any number of ways, and that is a beautiful thing that makes our world so interesting to live in. However, that these men both abjectly state that they have no empathy is presented within the context of their megalomaniacal ideals that they must accomplish their god-given quests irregardless of how many people they have to kill along the way. It is a facet of their strangely two-dimensional, arrogant and narcissistic personalities, not one part of many complex features that make a complete and relatable human being.

Roy has to literally say out loud that he is a human being at the end of the movie; “I will rely on those closest to me…I will live and love,” which makes him sound more like a learning AI trying to pass a Turing test than anything else. The music swells as Clifford throws himself towards the surface of Neptune in an orchestral deluge that is unsubtly significant in this very quiet film, as though I’m supposed to start crying and think anything other than, “well thank fuck, it’s about time this murderer dies in the cold vacuum of space, I hope Roy stays spinning and screaming here forever too.” We are supposed to feel sympathy for them as the heroes of this movie, despite the fact that they show no care for anyone else throughout the whole thing and act entirely in their own self interests.

Overall, the women in this film are given about five seconds of potential as they introduce themselves variously as decorated soldiers and otherwise capable personnel, before being shoved to the side, or murdered, for Roy. This is obviously objectionable, but is made so much worse by the fact that Roy is an emotionless, entitled, empathy-less white man who doesn’t care if other people have to die for him to get what he wants. That is what these women are being passed up in favour of. I felt like I was watching a two hour long Voight-Kampff test. Space movies like this should be about what we can achieve if we work together as a species, not about how white men will still be the kings of dreary capitalism, even on the moon. We can do better than this.

And now for some asides:

What the actual fuck was the font at the beginning? I guess a red serif all caps should have alerted me to the fact that I was about to watch a horror movie.

As a lover of space horror, I was absolutely gutted that it was a bad CG angry baboon and not a cool gross alien. Also, what was that scene? “Hmm, we need to get rid of this loser because Brad Pitt is the best at space ships and he needs to be the captain. Uhh…what about…space monkeys? Yeah! Space monkeys on a deserted Norwegian ship. That makes sense.”

Can I just have a film bout those moon pirates fighting space capitalism please? I was more invested in them that anyone else in this garbage movie.

Credit for the Bradd Pitts joke goes to the talented and lovely Ed Cheverton

#ad astra #Film Review #movie review #feminism #sci-fi #scifi #science fiction #brad pitt #liv tyler #tommy lee jones #ruth negga #freda foh shen #lisagay hamilton #natasha lyonne

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purkinje-effect · 4 years

Text

The Anatomy of Melancholy, 54

Table of Contents. Second Instar, Chapter 21. Go to previous. Go to next. TW: Surveillance, drugging, lascivious behavior, heavy inebriation. Giving toasts and getting toasted.

______________________________

Outside the rowhouse, ‘Choly mounted Angel, but between the rigidity of his orthotics and the weight of the uniform fabric, he struggled to sustain the jockey-esque crouch he had used to ride the Mister Handy. He knew he’d need to modify they way he rode Angel in order to be able to ride it.

“We’re visiting the storage hangar before we go see Olivia.”

A Mister Gutsy intercepted them before they got to the door.

“State your intent,” Green-One barked. “This is not the destination that’s been requested of you.”

“We wanted to stock up before we left,” ‘Choly began, dismounting with some difficulty. Angel handed him his cane, which he took appreciatively. “Do you... happen to have any straps? I’d take a fistful of uniform belts, if that’s all you’ve got.”

Sticks had decided, after the argument at the rowhouse, that he’d keep his mouth shut for the rest of their time on base, if he could help it. This decision, however, did not prevent a wide range of facial expressions. To the request, the ghoul cocked his head to one side.

“Request to enter the storage hangar has been confirmed,” the Gutsy replied after a minute of floating idly. “Come in, gentlemen.”

Although 'Choly disliked the awareness that she could communicate wirelessly with her network of robots, he, Angel, and Sticks all followed regardless. As the rolling hangar door peeled fully open, the Gutsy sped off into the uniforms section of the hangar, returning with its pincer full of various leather, fiber, and metal.

“I have five belts, as well as lengths of rope and chain, if they’d be of use, Colonel. I take it these are for better affixing what your Handy’s traveling with?”

“No, well, yes. It is carrying me. I’ll take all three things, if that’s all right. So I can figure out what will work best.” It handed over the things readily.

“Will you need any materiel stock?” it pressed gruffly. “I’m instructed to ask if it’s the real reason you came here first.”

“We came here for the belts,” Angel started before anyone else could reply, let alone explain why ‘Choly had wanted to come to the hangar first. “But if you could top me off on fusion cells, that would be truly divine, G-1.”

“Of course, Handy Angel.”

As G-1 worked, Sticks eyed the incendiary laser attachment customization Olivia had done for Angel.

“I could use a fresh tank for my flamer,” the ghoul requested, to deflect G-1 from its tinkering.

“We always try to keep another tank handy for the next time you pop on base, Sticks. Just have to leave the low tank with Deenwood.”

The ghoul shrugged explicitly, setting the flamer on the ground where G-1 could do as asked. Between the physical exertion and soup of charged emotions, ‘Choly’s head had begun swimming hours ago and had yet to stop.

“--And anything else for you, Colonel? Or will the ropes and such suffice?”

“--Oh!” He jerked back to reality with an unpalatable high-brow squint to shove down his mental state. “I don’t-- Actually. If you’ve got ammunition on hand for Sticks, you’ve likely got something for me as well. What variety of Syringer darts might you have?”

“Variety, we do not have, Sir, but we most certainly have darts for your Syringer. Pax darts don’t come free, mind you. They’re not standard military issue.”

The chemist nearly blurted out incredulity that the flamer was considered such, but he recalled the flamethrowing Assaultrons that chased him and Angel onto base. He dry swallowed and nodded as his face tightened, motioning to Angel to gain access to its storage compartment. He rifled in the false bottom, his wallet in many ways.

“You still accept the American dollar, don’t you? Silly of me to ask such an obvious question, but--”

“--Caps only,” it snipped, showing its first impatience with him.

He straightened in an instant with a thin smile and a cap-stuffed paper sack in hand. He disliked affirmation that caps were, in fact, a common currency these days.

“Say no more. How many for a case?”

“Three-hundred fifty, Sir.”

Any color left in his face washed out, but he grinned and simply handed over the bag without counting. In its pincer it scaled out the value of what it had been given. Its programming sounded off in the affirmative, and it left to the aisles and returned with the requested ammunition. The bag of caps had vanished in the shuffle.

“Here are three cases, plus two. You forfeited a little over a thousand, so that should be to your liking.”

‘Choly warmed to the exchange once the ammo cases fell into his hands. He gave G-1 a genuine smile, and nodded, then used the strap-snaps to affix them to the harness under his coat. The loose darts went into one of the incomplete cases already threaded onto his person.

G-1 escorted them to the R&D building personally, but vanished once they had entered. They came to Wing IV to find the heavily encrypted door already open, and Liv on a desk sprawled out atop a recumbent Helen. The ghoul general didn’t wholly unglue from her mate or tidy herself when she realized they had company, but she did sit up. Disheveled and incredibly drunk, she grinned broadly with heavy lids, patting to either side of her to suggest her guests take a seat.

“Oh, yes, please, thank you,” ‘Choly wheezed out without hesitation, slouching back in the office chair.

Sticks did not follow in kind, and crossed his arms to listen.

“So good to see you both again,” she murmured. “I hope your visit to the hangar was benefih-shul.”

“Very.” ‘Choly glanced to Sticks for a cue what more to say, but gleaned nothing.

“The case on that one desk over there is the X-Cell-Root Voire’s requested. There’s enough Furriers partaking in the conflict, that I didn’t have enough inhalers on hand. So! I used ampuoles instead.” She couldn’t keep one hand from wandering the inside of Helen’s thigh while she spoke. “It’s been mixed with adjuice-- advu-- adjuvant. Adjuvant! It’ll last longer. Ideally, long enough to carry over into shepherding maneuvers. My Eyebots scouted the past two days. The Back Central Rust Devils are holed up in the Robert House Charter School.”

The red-headed ghoul kissed the Assaultron on the breastplate, unable to resist another moment without her tongue against its chassis, then stood to retrieve the flare gun from atop the aforementioned enameled metal pharmaceutical case.

“‘Choly, you’re to instruct the Furriers to herd the Back Central Devils off school property and out onto the South Common. Sticks, you’re to use this flare gun so I know everything’s in position for my Sentries to fire. If you don’t wanna get hit, don’t fire unless you’re on the other side of the river.”

“We wouldn’t want to get hit with Rad-I-Canned, now, would we?” Seeing her so inebriated disenchanted ‘Choly, and he couldn’t read whether this was celebratory or as a consequence of stress.

She gave him a dopey smile as she sat again, in Helen’s lap.

“I forgot just how well you clean up, ‘Choly. It suits you.”

“I noticed you did more than edit the RFID in my ribbon rack... What exactly does this ribbon suggest?” He pointed to it.

“Oh, silly, that’s not a new ribbon. Your memory must not be too sharp. Certainly a new concept, though! Much like the addition of stars shows count of things other ribbons signify, I applied a star to your Meritorious Service bar. Consider it simple gratitude for having attended active duty two separate occasions. Though, it will be your first time having attended the battlefront proper, hm?”

She laughed, bubbling into pointed mocking as she sank comfortably across Helen and ran an arm behind the Assaultron’s neck.

“It didn’t have to be civil war for it to be bad and you know it. It was worse here than the front line every day of the Battle of Anchorage.” He gnashed his teeth at her, desperately shoving down anger as he eyed her. Deeply unbecoming of a commanding officer. “Have I missed the wedding?”

“Wedding?” Olivia glanced up to Helen, brow raised. “Don’t we seem already long-since wed?” Sweetly, she kissed the front side of Helen’s skull-plate.

“Olivia has a point,” Helen seconded. “Though my programming predates our meeting, I feel as though I were manufactured just to be hers.”

“And I’m yours,” Olivia beamed.

“And did she--” ‘Choly flinched in recognition, his brain processing what he was saying as he said it. His eyes widened as his volume escalated. “...Take your name or keep her own?” He waved a finger at his commanding officer indistinctly. “You... your offer to wipe Angel’s imprint matrix. That’s not the only way to achieve the same results and you know that.”

“Liquor’s even quicker,” she slurred through another bolt of cognac. She got up again, to pull two more glasses from the makeshift wet bar by the storage closet. “Gentlemen! Join me in a toas-scht.”

A Mister Handy that had idled in the far corner came to her, and with unspoken instruction it mulled the glasses and iced them. She then filled them with cognac. It stirred them and brought them to ‘Choly and Sticks. The ghoul broker’s tension didn’t go unnoticed, but he didn’t interrupt the ritual. ‘Choly didn’t object, either, but the offer of spirits certainly dulled his anger.

“To the success-sh of Deenwood! And to Voire, and their bi-shen-tennial alliance with the base! We’ll stamp out the Devils once and for all.”

Olivia raised her glass, and they followed suit. Once the glasses clinked together, Sticks wrenched ‘Choly’s from him and knocked it back in three swallows. ‘Choly staggered back. Olivia choked on her own drink in incredulity. ‘Choly immediately understood Sticks suspected it was drugged as usual.

“It’s just Daytripper, isn’t it!” The chemist nearly hissed in exasperation.

Furious and fed up, he tried to grab Sticks’s glass for himself. To get it away from ‘Choly, he drank that one too, and set down the glasses on the next nearest desk to catch his breath. When he turned around again, ‘Choly slapped him in the face, but he didn’t budge otherwise.

Olivia stared softly at ‘Choly, nearly sobered.

“Just what exactly do you think I do to the drinks I offer friends?”

“You think of either of us as friends?” Sticks choked out, terse. “Could have fooled me.”

“Well, you two are sher-tainly more than friends,” she quipped, poorly concealing her hurt. “We don’t we all just lay bare some honesty while we’re at it?”

“It wasn’t Daytripper, was it.” ‘Choly began to melt apart mentally, finally forefront with what had been chewing steadily away at him since the argument at the rowhouse. “What did you do to him. All the years you had him here on base, what did you DO to him? It all comes so easily for you, doesn’t it!?”

“He told you I experimented on him?” She laughed, elated again. “Who do you think helped me perfect the Daytripper formula? Most chems aren’t potent enough to work on ghouls. Nerves are deadened, chem receptors broken, by the mutations and keloidal scarring. There’s no short supply of ferals in Lowell, but they’re not viable to test charisma. I needed a shub-ject of like physiology. The day he could convince me to let him out was the day I knew I had it right.”

“...And the artificial hand?” he asked, carefully sitting back down.

“Serves him much better than the Pipboy did, if you ask me.”

The chemist slouched into a stupor, between how bad he ached, and how mentally frayed he grew. He failed to shove down trembling.

“So it really wasn’t Daytripper, then,” Sticks began at last. “And you were testing me. To see that I’d step in, and keep ‘Choly from taking whatever you gave him. If it was meant for me, it had to have been Klutz.”

“It was meant for you, and it was Magnetizer. I did expect you to drink it, but I didn’t expect you to drink both of them. Have fun overdosing, Hawthorne.” Ignoring the dread in Sticks’s eyes, she instead concerned herself with Angel. “You sure are traveling heavy, Angel, dear. Aren’t you bogged down with all that?”

“--I want to be as prepared as possible on site at Voire,” ‘Choly interjected dumbly. “I’d be remiss to have left something behind, only to end up needing it.”

Sticks disliked the transparency, but let it go unaddressed when Liv shrugged off any tension she could read on the chemist or the other ghoul.

“You always were one to be over-prepared. Mm mmh.” She clicked her tongue.

“We’re going to get going before we lose anymore daylight,” Sticks blurted out in pointed impatience.

“Oh, don’t let me stop you,” she pouted, slinking against her Assaultron again. “Blow it out for anyone but me, Sticks. The faster the two of us can regain our privacy, the better. Isn’t that right, Helen?”

“Affirmative, Tiger. Please leave.”

Angel grabbed the case and carried it behind itself as they exited. On their way off base, the trio all felt like Deenwood’s every eye was upon them, as though every robot set to ensure these potential defectors followed through with their announced intentions. Once off base, the whole perimeter came to life, complete with locking mechanisms, rotating warning lights, and a low bleating siren.

“Deenwood Compound will fully enter DEFCON One in sixty seconds,” the robotic speakers announced. “After this time, approach by any entity, personnel or not, will be met with lethal force.” It would repeat this announcement for the next minute, but the trio did not wait around to observe the final stages of lockdown.

Once they were two blocks away, ‘Choly stopped them so he could catch his breath.

“Guess you were right,” the chemist wheezed, sweating. He remembered the straps he’d shoved into Angel’s storage, and he requested them. Without them in the storage compartment, Angel could fit the Voire crate inside. “About Liv locking us out.”

“We’ll get back on base,” Sticks said, distracted. “We just have to do it on her terms now. What are those straps for, anyway?”

“I’m having trouble, crouching on top of Angel, in this uniform.” He continued speaking as he could, while he worked, in stuttered phrases. Angel helped him string the twist of straps through its car door handles. “I figured, some kind of reins might work better, than the handles. These reinforced gloves, make it easier, to grip things.” He hooked them all together into a loop, then mounted the foot pegs and steadied himself upright with this latest fixture to Angel’s body. “This works much better. Almost like jewelry for you, hm, Angel?”

“It’s for more than simple decoration, Mister Carey. Ha-ha!”

Silence followed as they made their way North through the residential Highlands. Sticks led them a different way than how ‘Choly and Angel had come the first time, but while they passed more housing this way, they encountered no ferals. They ended up again on the street that became Rourke Bridge, but before they got to the bridge itself, Sticks fumbled with the flamer and sniveled, only to snort-chuckle when he picked it back up with some difficulty. ‘Choly wasn’t sure whether to say anything, certain the chem had begun to take effect.

“Should I ask what Magnetizer is? Or what it does?”

“Magnetizer is like Daytripper, but dialed up. All the way up. The mood enhancement is more potent, but the side effects are, too. My muscle power and stamina are both gonna be shit for a few hours.”

“Guess it’s a good thing we’ve planned to unload the majority of our stuff at your place, then.”

“You’re not going to like me once it takes full effect.” Sticks choked up his grip on the flamer, but still didn’t look to ‘Choly. “Fuck, actually-- you of all people might.”

Words eluded ‘Choly, and he stewed on his worries. Sticks pressed on across the bridge, weaving carefully between the weather-rotted vehicles congesting the way.

“...Why did you drink it, without knowing what it was? If you thought it was anything at all?”

“I was confident I knew what it was. And I didn’t want her to poison you.”

“--Why drink it, if you thought it was poison? Couldn’t you have just... poured it out on the floor or something?”

“We don’t always make the most rational decisions when someone’s life might be on the line.”

“Are you... glad it wasn’t poison, at least?”

“That much Magnetizer would have killed a lightweight like you, that’s for sure.”

Silence overwhelmed the trio again, and they crossed the bridge without further comment. By the time they were on solid ground again, ‘Choly hemmed.

“...You had the feeling, too, right, that we were being watched on base?”

“Yeah. Definitely. Why?”

“Do you still feel it?”

“I want to be wrong, but honestly? Yes.”

“I didn’t want to mention it,” Angel agrees sheepishly. “I still don’t trust my sensors, I’m afraid.”

“What is it?” ‘Choly asked his Handy.

“Something robotic, I believe.”

“Fuck-me-in-the-mouth, she tailed us.”

An Eyebot rattled through, with a prerecorded script on loop. Anytime a specific name or noun came up, a different quality of voice and recording interrupted with it. The spherical hovering robot, with a grill plate guarding its front and a myriad of antennae jutting backwards off it, did not seem bothered at all that it had an audience, and announced its information readily and repeatedly without a care. ‘Choly unclenched when he realized it was just an Eyebot, but Sticks remained poised, watching.

“RobCo Industries. A household and industrial power-House since 2042! Are you looking for a rewarding career in computer technologies? RobCo Towers is now hiring for a variety of positions specializing in data processing! Apply--”

The ghoul lost his composure and let loose with the flamer, immolating the robot. It turned hostile, and got off a single unaimed laser shot in their direction before it crashed to the shore sand. Its speaker crackled and sputtered, and at first the three of them thought the sound an indicator how quickly the robot was melting, but then a third voice came through.

“--Olivia, it doesn’t have to end like this--”

The trio jerked back when the Eyebot exploded.

‘Choly started to yell at Sticks for having destroyed it, but the ghoul cut him off.

“--I haven’t seen a robot Pawtucketville side in decades. Can’t be a coincidence. And it didn’t come from Deenwood, that’s for damn sure.”

‘Choly’s face slacked. “...The Devils. They know we’re mobile.”

“No, they think The General’s mobile. I guarantee you, she’s about to get some very surprised unannounced visitors. I don’t think the DEFCON One was for us.”

The chemist dismounted, to walk the remainder of the way to the Sampas parlor. He didn’t like what Sticks was insinuating the Eyebot signified.

“...She dressed me up as a high ranking officer to decoy the Devils’ surveillance. They think I’m her. They think no one’s home. Am I really that disposable to her--”

“--Ideally, she’ll have knocked out most of their robotic assets before we have to deal with ‘em. Stressful as it sounds, it’s bought us a little time for me to let this stuff wear off before we get to Voire. Let’s get inside, hm?” Sticks thumbed at the parlor expectantly. Once he had the security mechanisms disarmed, he held the door open for the Handy and its owner. “Angel, get in there so we can unload ya. We’ve got some time to kill, and a lot to get done today.”

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#fallout 4 #fallout fanfic #fo4 #fo4 fanfic #sole survivor #fallout #the anatomy of melancholy #melancholy #sticks #olivia francis #ghoul oc #mister handy #mister gutsy #angel #we have one more detour before we see how messy voire can get

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