#Literally a few hours later I went to my friends and they had TONS OF THEM

[love-wiiidow]

Beautiful Girl - Charles Leclerc x Bianchi!OC

warnings: cursing, fluff, angst, friends to enemies to lovers, death, depression, smut, age gap (charles is 26, coco is 22)

summary: when corinne bianchi loses her older brother, the only person she can count on is charles. until she can’t.

authours note: this is a short chapter because i literally hate the beginning of stories

previous—next

my charles playlist-here

The day that Corinne Bianchi was born was one of rejoice.

October 14th, 2000.

Hervé Leclerc and Philippe Bianchi have been best friends for as long as anyone can remember, and now the two are having their youngest children on the same day.

A day prior, the Bianchi family was in Monaco visiting the Leclercs when both women suddenly went into labour.

Corinne Jules Rosa Bianchi was born in Monte Carlo, Monaco, on October 14th, 2000.

When it was allowed, her three older siblings filed into the room.

Tom went to check on his mum, Melanie went to check on her dad, and Jules went straight to his little sister.

Since his parents told him about the pregnancy, he was overjoyed.

A little sister was everything he had ever wanted, and now he had.

“Mum, what’s her name?” Jules asked as he looked up at his mother.

Philippe and Christine had decided to keep the name they picked from their children.

“Corinne Jules Rosa Bianchi.” Their mum said, Jules jaw dropping. “We know how much you care about your little sister, so we decided to name her after you.”

“Maman.” Jules said, choking back tears.

“Nous savons combien elle compte pour vous, we know how much she means to you.”

Jules smiled and reached his hand into the bassinet, his little sister grabbing a firm grip onto his finger.

A few hours later, the Leclerc boys filed into the room.

Lorenzo made a beeline to the crib and Charles just stood next to his dad.

His birthday was in 2 days and it seemed as though everyone had forgotten because of the newborns.

Lorenzo and Jules had been best friends even before Charles was born, and Lorenzo had been appointed as Corinnes godfather.

“Isn’t she so beautiful?” Jules smiled at his best friend, Lorenzos head bobbing up and down in agreement.

“Beaucoup jolie very pretty.” Lorenzo reached his hand down into the bassinet as well.

“Charles, why don’t you go meet the baby?” Hervé said softly as he pushed his youngest son towards the baby.

“Non!” Charles protested, crossing his arms defiantly.

“Charles, viens ici charles, come here.” Jules ushered the young boy towards him, Charles hesitantly shuffling his feet over to his godfather. “Look at the baby.”

Jules looked to his mom for permission to pick up the infant, her head nodding in permission.

He carefully reached into the bassinet and brought Corinne to his chest, Charles eyes scanning her.

“Look, Charles.” Jules said.

Corinnes little feet escaped from the blanket she was carefully wrapped in, Charles giggling at the sight of her feet.

He leaned forward and looked at her face, her lips in a small pout as she slept peacefully.

“Isn’t she so cute?” Melanie said from behind the boys.

“Oui.” Charles nodded, getting over his defiance and anger of not being the youngest anymore.

“What’s her name?” Lorenzo asked.

A smirk placed itself on Jules face as he told them her name.

“Corinne Jules Rosa Bianchi.” He said, putting emphasis on her first middle name.

“C'est ton nom that’s your name!” Charles exclaimed, and Jules nodded.

“It is.” He nodded, boasting about it.

“Coco.” Lorenzo randomly said out loud.

“Hm?” Tom said, now having joined the conversation.

“Coco.” Lorenzo repeated. “Her nickname.”

Coco had stuck, and now people rarely called Corinne by her actual first name.

The young girl was now around 6 months old.

Tom had introduced Jules to the Beatles a few months prior, and Jules loved it.

He had gotten through all of the Beatles albums, and was now on the individual artists.

He was at the end of John Lennons career, and had stumbled across the song Beautiful Boy.

Every single night Jules would accompany either his mum or dad to put Coco to bed, watching from behind as they got her ready to sleep.

After they left, he would haul the chair that sat in the corner of the room to the front of her crib.

He would climb on top of it and kneel on the cushion, leaning into the crib.

“Close your eyes, have no fear.” He would softly sing. “The monsters gone, he’s on the run, and your brothers here.”

His strong French accent just added more charm to the song, even though until around the age of 3 Coco had no idea what he was saying.

The baby was still awake as he was singing this, her beautiful eyes looking up at him.

Coco had heterochromia.

Her right eye was brown, and her left eye was green.

The Leclercs had made their way up to Nice to visit the Bianchis, Charles occupied with laying on the floor in front of Coco.

The baby looked up at him, his jaw dropping as he made eye contact with her.

“Maman!” He gasped, rushing over to his mum and grabbing her arm, dragging her towards the baby on the floor.

“What is it, Charlie?” She asked, kneeling down to get to her sons level.

“Her eyes!” He gawked, his mums jaw dropping as well as she looked into her eyes. “One eye colour for me, and one for Jules!”

“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, girl.” Jules softly sang. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, girl.”

When Coco was born, Christine and Philippe were concerned about the age gap between her siblings and her.

Tom had always been a mummy’s boy, and Melanie had always been a daddy’s girl.

And Coco had been a Jules girl.

She loved her brother more than anything.

“Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer.” Jules smiled. “Every day, in every way, it’s getting better and better.”

Coco smiled up at him, giggling as he made funny faces at her.

“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl.” He smiled, her hand wrapped around his finger as tightly as she could. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, girl.”

Cocos arms were wrapped around her stuffed animal, her little feet kicking as she listened to her brother.

“Out on the ocean, sailing away.” He smiled. “I can hardly wait to see you come of age.” He moved to turn on her mobile, a soft lullaby playing. “But I guess we’ll both just have to be patient.”

Jules sang the rest of the song, Coco slowly falling asleep.

“Darling, darling, darling, darling, Coco.” He sang. “Goodnight, Coco. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Beautiful Boy has always been a special song to Coco, and when she found out that it was actually called Beautiful Boy baffled her.

#charles leclerc #formula one #mclaren f1 #f1 #max verstappen #jules bianchi #racing #pretty girls #charles lechair #daniel ricciardo #sisterhood

[mrlarkstin]

Because everyone's been asking and things have finally calmed down enough. This is what went down.

IRL drama that happened because of XIV below the cut

So because a lot of my twitter and discord friends have been asking and unfortunately twitter/discord word limit is crap- this is probably the best place to explain everything. As this is literally two years in the making.

So about 2ish years ago, like...mid 2022, I was playing a lot on my Crystal alt. Like a lot, I had a ton of friends on Crystal and this was before cross DC travel. Anyways, so I joined my friends FC and just kinda vibed, helped them decorate, run things, blah blah blah. Well, I very quickly realized something kinda sus about one member who liked to do things with her "twin".

Well this twin wasn't an irl twin, it was her characters twin, a character run on a separate service account. Well, this member liked to have her "twin" stand beside her all the time. And, it looked sus all the time because the twin didn't talk, it just followed her around. It was, very sus. And she'd openly talk about sending her twin out into Eureka to farm, and to have her twin do maps and such. And, okay, whatever- but the way it was constantly worded was setting off my red warning flags. "Send my twin into Eureka" and the twin would come back like an hour or two later with TONS of rare hard to get items from the various zones. It. was weird. Very weird. And it was the same with maps.

RIGHT IN FRONT OF US- she'd send her twin off to go do maps. Alone. Level 80 maps alone. And the dungeon maps. Send her out and then call her back randomly at any time. It was at that moment I clued in that she was a bot. A full on bot being completely open about it. But because she gave her bot an actual name, you wouldn't have clued in right away.

Originally I had just given her the benefit of the doubt. Okay sure! She had a couple service accounts! Sure! But, the characters on the other service accounts were all, from my guess, bots. Given how she would just "send them out to do Eureka" and various things. It was fucking weird.

So, over the next year I did a lot of digging into botting, various bots, how they work and talked to people who OPENLY botted. And yeah, most of the time, people with multiple service accounts tend to be botting or doing something sus (like owning fucking 10 FCs??????? Why???? To farm gil?? If you are that bad at the game you gotta spend tons of irl money to make gil- you need help). But yeah, naturally not everyone with multiple service accounts are sus but, a good chunk are.

I found the bot she uses.

This one. Its the ONLY one that makes sense, this or Miqobot. But both are very likely.

Regardless. I STILL tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. That was, until they got their hands on the fucking Crystal FC Workshop. Everyone was getting ready for EW, content and such so people were logging in less and less, and I noticed they instantly started to take an immense interest in the workshop the MOMENT people stopped logging in. Which was fucking weird...because we had all been talking about it a couple weeks ago before and she had taken ZERO interest in it. But the moment everyones like "I'm taking a break!" she suddenly has an interest.

It got weird, she started to slip into the workshop. But, she had no crafters, no gatherers above level 20. And was telling me she was spending 20million A DAY to do subs.

How? What? What is that logic? HOW ARE YOU SPENDING 20MIL A DAY???

YOU DON'T HAVE CRAFTERS? OR GATHERERS? YOU HAVE NOTHING THAT INDICATES YOU WORK FOR THAT GIL??? AND HOW?? HOW ARE YOU SPENDING FUCKING 20MIL A DAY???

WHAT

So anyways, EW hits and I take off onto my main for a few months, I come back and literally no one had logged in, in months. The FC chest was empty and the bot was literally taking everything and selling it. Then was trying to tell people that she wasn't getting anything worthwhile from the subs.

Lies.

There are a lot of mats, salvaged jewelry, spoils, housing items, deep and superior crystals and clusters- there is a lot.

Turns out. She was stealing all the good shit, taking the gil and using it for who knows what. She was stealing from two fcs and was stealing all the good shit. Wouldn't put any of the gil that she was making into the chest for the actual fc. She was taking it and pocketing it. And since my friends were kinda newbies, they didn't really realize what was happening, I brought it to their attention.

"Hey, this person isn't actually like giving anything back to your FC and is clearly taking everything"

My friend Elora got pretty fucked, 4 level 60 subs and the bot was trying to tell her "Oh, you didn't get anything good" Which. Is a lie. Whether its crafting mats to further your sub or just other mats, a lot of shit can be worth a pretty penny. Its not just about "spoils" and shit, mats, housing items, ect can be worth a lot too depending on your server.

The bottom line is, she was taking from two fcs and not putting any of the money she was making back into the FCs. She had waited until everyone disappeared and decided then and there that she was going to take them over.

Well finally, Elora had, had enough and just, got rid of her and blocked her. She only got a little of what the bot was taking and the bot kept everything that was of value. Most likely because she had sold it all already and was funneling the gil from her bots to her main.

So, everything came to ahead last night when the original owner of the FC came back and saw the mess that was made.

Now its not my place to tell the shit between the FC lead and the old FC lead, thats not what this is about. But it did not go well.

The new FC lead took personal offense that we were concerned about what was happening with the subs (because she liked the bot) and instantly invited some rando? who spent 4 HOURS berating and mocking us. Calling us incompetent, idiots, losers and every variation of the word because we were CONCERNED about the theft happening.

Now I want to remind everyone this is NOT taking place in my mains FC. I keep that shit locked up tight and vet people who join.

But this rando admitting to basically being a bot and doing the exact same fucking thing. Owning 10 FCs with various alts on various service accounts all to "fund" their RP venue? Which, if your venue is doing that badly...you probably are doing something very wrong that you have to use 10 FCs to fucking keep it alive.

So instead of having an open dialogue with us, the new leader basically got this rando to tell us all to go fuck ourselves and that she doesn't care that this bot is taking things, selling it and funneling the gil into who knows what.

So, thats that.

The new leader doesn't care, the old leader cares, the bot is just doing whatever in the fuck she wants and some rando decided to berate us for hours and hours.

And at the end, the bot left the FC. But ONLY put the shitty items into the chest and naturally kept all the good shit for themselves. Over a year of subs and you're telling me you didn't get ANY spoils? No salvaged jewelry? No Deep crystals? No balsa wood scrap or anything else along those lines? In a year you didn't get any of that? Despite using your bot to quite religiously fucking do the subs?

Okay.

The damage is done. And everyones leaving. So the FC will rot. The house will be demolished and thats that. Its game over.

[just-a-soft-kid]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR DEAR AND PRECIOUS @floofanflurr!!!

I had the honour of making this piece in collaboration with the amazing @dumbassv32, @humankk, and @powercritter!!! More credits to the collaborators and info about this piece under the cut 💜

Back in April, I stumbled across a beautiful Undertale fic, Heart on the Table. I was instantly drawn in, and a few weeks later, the author, Floof, made a lil discord server for readers!! I honestly could not have guessed what a gift this server would be, but it sure did end up becoming truly special. So!! It just felt right to commemorate our Floofy's bday by illustrating a piece of us celebrating the occasion together!!!!

I've met some of my best friends in this wonderfully chaotic server, not least of all is the spectacular Floof themself.

Floo, you really are something special. Your earnest care, enthusiasm, encouragement, and deep love are such beautiful gifts to all of those around you. You make people's lives so much better by just being yourself. I am so grateful every day that our paths crossed, and I feel truly blessed that I get to call you my friend. Thank you for allowing us to celebrate this special day with you!!💜🫂🎉

A few weeks ago, our server started sneakily collaborating on this birthday piece for our lovely friend. This was a real group project!! Everyone contributed hugely by brainstorming with me, sending me references for their character representations, and just offering a ton of encouragement.

When I finished the lineart, I realized I absolutely did not have the ability to take on the colouring, and had hit a wall. But then along came the spectacular @dumbassv32 , who did the INCREDIBLE colouring. I literally could not have done it without em. Ey brought all of us to LIFE with their art, and it was incredibly delightful to work with em!!!!!!!

@humankk proposed adding the skelefamily from Heart on the Table in the background. I wasn't able to figure it out, but then KK went and drew and coloured them!!!!!! I added them into the image and just adapted KK's drawing. I couldn't have come up with how to add them in, KK you are a legend!!!!!!

And then... in the midnight hour... @powercritter went and added the absolute abomination of a hot dog into our resident server Napstablook @rhubarbsdad's head. The Breakfast Dog sins have now been immortalized. Bless.

Thanks so much, y'all - we did it!!!

#heart on the table #i love my friends

[kleefkruid]

Oh man these 24 hours, ton of things happened. Little tw for some sexual intimidation (mostly in reference) and some stereotyping about the Dutch being tall and loud bc the Dutch people in this story were just simply very tall and intimidating sorry vriendjes. Get ready for people getting kicked out, a literal bomb and megaphones in butts, or on butts (or in?)

My partner did about 26 tattoos

the cafe also had its anniversary and they introduced a new beer (7,5% hooh boy) so it got so crowded people were drinking on the stairs and in the hallway towards the toilets

so the concept is that people can get free tattoos from a themed flash sheet, which the cafe pays my partner for. We do this like every month and it's good networking.

Most people are really polite and grateful about the concept of free tattoos but last night we had an unusual number of people who decided they should be ungrateful and plain shitty about the concept of free tattoos

this went from people complaining they wanted costum designs for free (hello??) to guys trying to touch the equipment or bumping into the table

there were 3 big Dutch guys who wanted to get a piece done and they we're allright talking to me (I do the bookings) but their place on the waiting list was a few hours in so I noted them down and explained that I'll send a text when it's their turn

A while later they show up to check in on the line and I tell them there is in fact only the person currently getting a tattoo and then it's their turn

to which one of them immediately turns to my partner, slams his hand down on the table (at which a girl is sitting getting her tattoo prepped mind you) and yells out "OUR TURN!"

Oh good they got wasted

my partner of course yells they need to back off and not touch the table

I go into damage control mode and cheerfully repeat that it'll be their turn after this girl. They sit down again.

One of the others seems to be marginally aware still that was a social faux-pass so he takes two beers and offers them to us. My partner declines because they're still pissed of course. I take it because they are around me being very tall and I have girl survival skills that tell me to not say no to agressive guys when I'm (literally) cornered by them

like 20 minutes pass while my partner is tattooing and I don't know what they've been having beforehand but it's really hitting now and their eyes are all glazed over. Suddenly the guy who slammed the table comes really close to me (again being very tall and Dutch) and starts asking if I'm going in front of them (in the line) and I have to remind him I'm not in line, I manage the line, and he just kinda stares me down and at this point just all my alarm bells start going off so I quickly slip behind the table

I start telling my partner "So these Dutch guys" and they immediately go "Yeah there's no way I'm tattooing them" so I tell them they're scaring me at this point to which my partner of course gets upset about, and I can see they want to give these guys a piece of their mind.

Now my partner is also not a small person but there are 3 of them and if you've been around drunk people enough you know the look of a guy who's gotten to the point where they're volatile and if my partner is going to deny them the tattoo at this point and probably tell them why chances are big they're either going to break the furniture or my partner.

and again, the place is crowded as fuck so this could get very chaotic very fast

So I tell my partner that if they're going to tell these guys off they need to get the people from the café involved for safety

at this point I had to go into the toilets for a bit to calm myself down from getting a panic attack because this is not the first time guys have squared up to me like that and I've had a guy in that state grab me once and not let go while his friends formed a circle around that and yaddayada you know kinda traumatic, and add the crowd and the noise and me being scared for my partner so it's only logical I needed a breather.

when I came back my partner was talking to someone of the café and they did promptly and skillfully kick these guys out

at which point some other guy tried to take our food and my partner, still wired up, called him a bitch (which we retroactively had a laugh about it because it's quite funny to just simply call some dude a bitch, breaking gender norms etc)

My partner thought about calling it quits early because they were worried about me but as soon as these guys were gone I was allright.

The next person was a young guy who said "Hey this is my first tattoo, you're really making my day man!" so he managed to bring some good vibes back into the situation.

A friend showed up so we got way better company

a friendly girl talked to me but she had no sense of personal space and held the entire conversation about 3 cm away from my face

I got told I have a Wednesday Addams vibe which I would think I'm too ginger for but it happened anyways

Because of the adrenaline my anxietymeter kinda ran out and I told a guy with a straight face that if he was a good boy on the tattoo table he would get a sticker.

I did get multiple free drinks from people who were not scary at all

I yelled at some 18 year old guys who walked behind the tatoo table while my partner was gone thinking no one was watching and they promptly left the cafe, there is an angry teachers voice hidden somewhere in me apparently.

When we were packing up a drunk girl begged to still get a tattoo and when my partner said no but that she could get a sticker she called their stickers ugly and they said she should work on her socials skills and then she apologised and kind of started flirting with them and stuck two of their stickers on her boobs and gave them their number and talked about her boyfriend and I was also standing there the whole time yes.

she said at one point that she wanted a sticker that fits on her cellphone and I have stickers in the perfect size for that but she didn't talk to me so I didn't say anything.

She held on an entire 20 minute conversation solely talking to my partner which hey we have an open relationship but she doesn't know that so I was slightly amused and I theatrically leaned my head on my hands like I was watching a show.

She told my partner they could tattoo her butt next event. "You can put the megaphone" (one of the designs)"on my butt! You can put it in!- on!"

after this whole time she suddenly looked at me and said "what's your name" so I said "I am Lora and I do have a sticker that fits on your phone" so she said "Oh why didn't you say!" and I said "because I wasn't part of the conversation up until this point :)" but I did give her a sticker and she asked my name again 5 times while her friends who somehow were way more sober carried her off

my partner and I did have a conversation at this point about which way would be the worst to actually stick a megaphone up your but

When the café was finally closed my partner layed down on the table and we kissed a bit because all the café workers were in the other room anyways but the doors weren't properly closed yet so party goers off the street kept tumbling in so they just walked into an empty space with two people making out on a massage table so they now must have a very specific idea about what café workers in the city center get up to after hours.

We finally got home around 3 in the morning which was exactly the time a bomb went off in my friends' street about a km away.

which my friend found out trough me texting it but I already told that story here

anyways that's too much stuff happening for a person that also writes long posts on tumblr so that's why spend the entire day just horizontal. zzz

#daily life #antwerp

[mi-rae07]

Jung Woo-young : The Most

Pairing : Jung Wooyoung (Ateez) and named character (Oh Wonjeong)

________________________________________

A/n : Literally just a blabber that I had to do when I felt single as hell. 

________________________________________

Wooyoung : wonnie~

Wooyoung dragged the word out, rubbing his head against wonjeong who was trying to get her work done, sitting in her couch. But wooyoung was making it very hard by being especially clingy today. Wonjeong let out a breath and said

Wonjeong : baby, please. Just a few more hours, my boss is going to kill me if I don’t get this done by tomorrow.

Wooyoung : I'll just buy the company or something, cuddle with me now.

Wonjeong : woo, please. Just leave, I need to finish this.

Wooyoung whined and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend's shoulder, kissing it as he mumbled

Wooyoung : I need you, please wonnie.

Wonjeong : wooyoung-ah, I'm going to lose my patience, just leave baby.

Wooyoung : you're always like this, always so busy in your work. You never have any time for me, or us.

Wonjeong : I don't ask my boss to give me shit ton of work, woo, it just happens. But I need to finish it, I told you I'd join you after this is done.

Wooyoung : which is when, exactly?

Wonjeong : I'm only halfway through it wooyoung-ah.

Wooyoung : exactly! You've been doing this since morning, now it's evening, and you still have so much more to go!

Wonjeong : woo, you're not a child. Please just understand.

Wooyoung huffed, feeling annoyed.

Wooyoung : do it tomorrow, no?

Wonjeong : no.

Wooyoung whined again, shaking wonjeong

Wooyoung : wonjeong-ah~

Wooyoung accidentally bumped his hand against the laptop, causing it to fall off wonjeong's lap and hit the carpeted floor. Wooyoung gasped, his eyes widening as wonjeong shut her eyes tightly in pure annoyance and screamed

Wonjeong : STOP FUCKING ANNOYING ME JUNG WOOYOUNG. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE, RIGHT NOW. OR I WILL FUCKING THROW YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE, I SWEAR!

Wooyoung flinched, small tears filling the corner of his eyes at the shout. He blinked it away and stood up before mumbling a sorry and walking away to his room. Wonjeong let out a breath in annoyance and picked up the laptop before continuing to do her work.

____________________________________________

Wooyoung rolled around the bed, the blanket covering his face as he huffed in boredom. It had been at least an hour since wonjeong yelled at him and she still wasn't here to apologize. Wooyoung picked up his phone and called san, him picking the phone up within two rings

San : wooyoung-ah?

Wooyoung : sannie, I'm bored.

San : what, wonjeong isn't giving you attention again?

Wooyoung : yeah no, she's fucking married to her work. You know what she did? She yelled at me! Can you believe it?

San chuckled on the other line and said

San : probably cuz you went and annoyed the hell out of her.

Wooyoung whined, not understanding how everyone found out that it was his fault.

Wooyoung : what the hell san, you're supposed to be my friend, not hers.

San : then what, you want me to come cuddle you and make her jealous?

Wooyoung : she won't get jealous of us, she thinks we're platonic soulmates.

San : are we not?

Wooyoung : yes but I wanna make her jealous and it won't work in this case!

San smiled and said

San : just wait for a while wooyoung, she'll come back to you. She always does.

Wooyoung : yeah and I'm going to throw her out of the window when she does.

San laughed through the other line and said

San : aish, the both of you. Alright then wooyoung-ie, I have to go now.

Wooyoung : where are you going?

San : out with my girlfriend, what else?

Wooyoung : aish, stop making me jealous you bitch!

San giggled and said

San : it’s my job. Okay then lover boy, talk to you later!

Wooyoung : bye, have fun.

Wooyoung cut the call, keeping his phone aside while having a smile on his face and going back under the covers.

__________________________________________

Wonjeong sighed as she finally shut her laptop and stood up, walking towards hers and wooyoung's room. It had probably been two hours now and she had tried to finish her work as fast as possible. She felt bad for having screamed at wooyoung but she also knew it wasn't completely her fault. But even then, she knew wooyoung was stubborn and she wanted to apologize.

Wonjeong opened the door and saw a figure lying on the bed, his entire body covered by the white duvet.

Wonjeong : baby?

Wooyoung wrapped himself deeper into the blankets, not wanting to talk to wonjeong. She chuckled and said

Wonjeong : aww, is my baby sad?

Wooyoung didn't respond as wonjeong walked to their bed and sat down on it, stroking her hand against wooyoung's body that was covered by the duvet.

Wonjeong : is my woo angry at me?

Wooyoung : go away.

Wonjeong rested her chin against wooyoung and said softly

Wonjeong : baby, why won't you understand. I have so much to do, sweet bun. I wanna be with you, I really do. It's just that I have so much work that has to be done and my boss is just really strict.

Wooyoung : I told you I'd buy the company.

Wonjeong : aish, that's just stupid.

Wooyoung : you're stupid.

Wonjeong giggled and wrapped her arms around wooyoung's covered figure, inhaling deeply as she whispered

Wonjeong : I love you wooyoung.

Wooyoung : yeah well, you don't do a good job at showing it Oh wonjeong.

Wonjeong closed her eyes, feeling even more worse.

Wonjeong : I know, I'm sorry. I really wish I could be better for you but-

Wooyoung : stop saying that.

Wonjeong : no I mean it baby.

Wooyoung : you shouldn't. I don’t need you to be better for me, I love you just the way you are.

Wonjeong smiled and whispered

Wonjeong : so you're not angry at me?

Wooyoung : that I am, go away.

Wonjeong giggled and got on top of wooyoung as he groaned.

Wonjeong : wooyoung-ie, won't you hug me?

Wooyoung : no, go hug your work.

Wonjeong : I prefer you though?

Wooyoung : you didn't back then, did you?

Wonjeong : wonnie is sorry, she won't do it again. Now hug me?

Wooyoung : you gotta do better than that, wonjeong-shi.

Wonjeong smiled and said

Wonjeong : who's my handsome woo-woo?

Wooyoung : I'm literally the only woo-woo, what nonsense.

Wonjeong giggled and said

Wonjeong : who's the love of my life, then?

Wooyoung : probably that laptop. You were more concerned for that piece of metal than me.

Wonjeong : I could break a million of those laptops for you, woo.

Wooyoung : ugh, so cringe Oh wonjeong.

Wonjeong laughed, knowing wooyoung was smiling under the blanket.

Wonjeong : baby bun?

Wooyoung : hmm.

Wonjeong : I need you.

Wooyoung let out a breath and pulled the blanket off his face, looking at his girlfriend with done eyes. Wonjeong smiled and crashed into him, kissing him as soon as he took the blanket off his face. Wooyoung yelped and held her arm, kissing her breathlessly. Wonjeong pulled back and pecked his nose before whispering

Wonjeong : you know I love you most, don't you?

Wooyoung : yeah well, I love san the most.

Wonjeong smacked wooyoung's head as he laughed

Wonjeong : such a brat.

Wooyoung giggled and pulled wonjeong under the blankets, cuddling close towards her and resting his head against her chest. Wonjeong smiled and ran her hands through his long dark locks before saying

Wonjeong : you're literally my teenage dream.

Wooyoung chuckled and whispered against her chest

Wooyoung : you're my all time dream.

Wonjeong : lord, you imagined this when you were in pre-school too? Such a pervert.

Wooyoung : aish, do you wanna die?

Wonjeong giggled and said

Wonjeong : you love me too much to kill me~

Wooyoung : if you do this again, I might just kill you.

Wonjeong smiled and nodded against his hair, inhaling the scent of her boyfriend. He always smelled so good, it was her favourite in the world.

Wonjeong : I'm sorry for shouting at you, I didn't mean it woo.

Wooyoung : it's okay, I sort of deserved it.

Wonjeong : I'll take you out on a date tomorrow, would that make you love me again?

Wooyoung : I already love you but yes, the date would make me love you more.

Wonjeong smiled and hugged him tighter, tangling his legs with hers before saying, sarcasm filling her tone as she giggled before whispering

Wonjeong : you're paying for it though.

Wooyoung : this little-

Wooyoung tickled wonjeong under the blankets, making her scream and laugh while thrashing around. Wooyoung laughed and continued attacking her more, making her laugh and say

Wonjeong : OKAY I’LL PAY, I’LL PAY!

Wooyoung : that’s my girl

____________________________________________

#wooyoung #ateez wooyoung #jung wooyoung #wooyoung fluff #wooyoung angst #wooyoung ff #ateez fluff #ateez angst #fluff #kpop ff #kpop fluff #kpop angst

[violet-kink-rambles]

Pt 1 | Working Late Too Often

Femme Feeder x Gender Neutral Feedee Themes: Workplace Setting, Weight Gain, Bribery, Intox, Stuffing, Public Stuffing, Soft Feedism, and the occasional Hard Feedism

Word Count: 4714

This is a slow burn story! I have no idea how many parts will be in this, but it will speed up over time. This part is just getting everything set up and some solo stuffing in the second half. No promises on when the next part is out, this was done over a few days but I've been in the mood to write lately so yeah :) Last thing before we start, nothing in this story is relevant to my real life except the starting dimensions and that I work in coding and graphic design. Use whatever names you want, you're the one reading it!

So I had just graduated college recently, it took 4 years of my life and more money than I wish to mention. But one of the things they forget to mention about computer science is just how long you’ll be sitting down every day. From 6 hours of classes to another 4 hours minimum at home to get your projects done you’re spending the majority of those 4 years sitting in front of a screen. Some might shy away from comp sci because of that alone… but that was one of the appeals for me. You see, I’m a bit of a fatty. I’ve never been super in shape, I’ve been on the thiccer side for as long as I can remember. But college reallllyyy made me blow up a bit, I went from a modest 6’3” and 225 to around 310 in only a few years! Sure I noticed it creeping up on me but to be honest… I kinda like it! I've just been eating what I want and waiting to see what happens.

My friends and family on the other hand have been on my ass about the gym and have kept offering me diet advice for the last couple of years now. Lately, it seems like the pressure has dropped off and they are finally accepting that this is just what I am now. Thank fuck for that, they just don’t get how hard it is to work out when you have to sit down for the majority of the day. After struggling to find a job for the first few months after graduation I finally got an interview at a mid-size startup! The pay isn’t great but the office offers decent benefits and they also offer meals at the office. Sure that can be kinda toxic since it encourages you to stay late but hey I’ll take what I can get. On the morning of the interview I was getting dressed to head out when I realized that I don’t have a proper fitting outfit, my shirt is taut against my torso and it was a bit uncomfy around the arms. And the pants… the fucking pants. I felt almost like a sausage casing, I was able to cover everything but there was no way I was gonna be able to hide how fat I am. Begrudgingly I picked up my bag and left the house, swearing to stop at a store to get a new wardrobe after the interview.

On the drive over I couldn’t help but feel hungry. If you know anything about America(especially Texas) then you know that you can't drive more than a block or 2 in town without seeing some restaurant or fast food place. As well as the pinnacle of fast food, the greatest to ever do it. Speckled all across the state like a fuck ton of salt on a table you can get food from the tastiest, most consistent, and most bang for your buck place of all. Whataburger, the bane of every fatass in Texas. It's hard not to stop there when the burgers are as big as your head, swapping fries for onion rings at no extra cost, and the drink sizes being pushed down one size. A medium is 32oz, and the large at a whopping 44oz, while a 2 liter of soda is 67oz. For $10-13 a fatty can be full with some great southern comfort food. I really wanted to stop but if I did then my outfit would be even worse! Deciding against it and just going hungry, I pull into the office parking lot about 10 minutes later and try and hype myself up.

“Ok V, you got this shit, light fucking work! You’ve done more leetcode over the last year than you thought you would in a fucking lifetime! You’ve got your degree, and you’ve done everything you can. If they don’t wanna hire you then it’s their loss!” I got out of the car and sauntered over to the building brimming with confidence despite my tight outfit. When I got inside and up to the 4th floor where the office was I saw this cute receptionist, your stereotypical brunette woman with a little bit of extra meat on her bones. She was on a call so I just waited for her to finish. A glance around the room gave me some high hopes about the environment I might be working in. On the wall a big mural of what appears to be a shaman meditating atop a hill, the grass closest to him overgrown compared to the rest and speckled with flowers. It just calmed me down a lot because it made me feel like personal growth is important here. But then all of a sudden the woman behind the counter greeted me.

R - Receptionist R- “Hey! What can I do for you today?” Me- “ Hey! I’m just here for the 2pm interview for the programming position you guys had listed” R- “Ah gotcha! You’re a little early but she should be ready for you, just head down the hall and knock on the 6th door to your right” Me- “Thanks! Hopefully, we will be working together soon :)” Walking down the hallway I’m really liking the aesthetic of this place, some off-white walls with an almost rosy black trim. You can just tell there’s been a lot of money put into this place from all the furnishings. Off to the left, I see a large open room through the glass wall, a lot of spacious cubicles, and what I can only describe as “groovy” corporate artwork on the walls. It’s an open-concept office, with not a lot of closed off areas except the personal offices to my right. After getting to the 6th door I take a deep breath and knock, before hearing a sweet sounding voice call out “Come in!” Opening the door I see a beautiful office, a bunch of personal items, books, and a MacBook with stickers on the back on her desk. But the real knockout is the woman in front of me. A powerful looking woman with ginger hair to right above her shoulders, her body tight and built, dressed in a rose/peach pantsuit looking like it had just been steamed and ironed that morning. She’s extremely well put together, while I on the other hand am stuffed into an outfit that probably stopped fitting well a few months ago. I only took a glance at her before she greeted me, and I reminded myself I'm in interview mode. Gotta nail this and land the job.

Int- Interviewer Int- “Hey you’re the 2 o’clock right? Have a seat :)” Me- “Yep that’s me! Hope you’re doing well today :) I have a booklet I brought with me that has all my certifications if you’d like to look through it” Int- “Sounds good! My name is Kirsty, it’s nice to meet you :) What’s your name?” Me- “Ah sorry that was rude of me, my name is Violet :)” Kirsty- “Haha don’t worry about it, this field is full of introverts so I’m used to it” I set it on her desk and sit down, hearing the chair groan ever so slightly my face flushes red. Fuck I hope she didn’t hear that. She glanced through the booklet and asked me a bunch of the typical interview questions, then the technical part of the interview came along and instead of taking the full 45 minutes I was provided I finished the coding problem in about 20.

Me- “Ok, I believe I have it right. I’ve accounted for all exceptions and the code is running smoothly. No hiccups.” Kirsty- “Well that was fast! Let me see”

She takes the laptop and looks at the code for a few minutes while asking some more questions. I keep noticing though that it doesn't really look like she’s looking at the screen. It seems like she's looking just to the side of it, her desk is pretty big so maybe I'm wrong? Not really sure

Kirsty- “This is some concise and.. tight code, some good notation and comments, you meet what we’re looking for and from talking with you I think we can work well together” Me- “Wait really? So I have the job??” Kirsty- “If you want it, it's yours :) We just have some paperwork to do and you can start the monday after next ” Me- “I- I’d love to accept this job, I’m just surprised since I've heard so many horror stories in college about people having to do like 30 interviews to land a job even when they met all the requirements” Kirsty- “Well you aced the technical portion, you have all the certificates required and then some, and you’ve been a pleasure to talk to. You’re not too shabby Violet :)” Me- “Th- Thankyou :) I don’t know what else to say”

After that I read through and signed the paperwork then left Kirsty’s office, she told the receptionist to give me a tour of the office so I can see where everything is. While taking the tour I learned the receptionist’s name is Heather and she led me through the office introduced me to a few people I'll be working with, and showed me where everything is.

Heather- “You know.. I’m a bit surprised, we’ve been trying to fill that position for months. To be honest I had seen your resume this morning and write you off immediately, straight out of college and you landed this. I don’t know what you did there but you obviously did something right.” Me- “Wait really? All I did was get the technical part done quick and show her my certificates” Heather- “Everyone does that, she gives you 45 minutes but it should take only 30 at most” Me- “Oh.. I guess she just must’ve liked my energy then, either way, I got the job so the specific reason doesn’t matter to me.” Heather- “Yeah well… oh well you’re right. You got the job so who am I to question Kirsty. Are there any more questions you have about the office?” Me- “Just one, I heard there was a no limit kitchen here. Like you guys provide meals and stove tops, is there actually no limit to using those amenities?” Heather- “As long as you hit your deadlines you can even watch Netflix at your desk, we only care about results here… We’ll if that’s all you got for me then I’m gonna head back to my desk” Me- “Can't think of anything else, thanks for the tour :) See you in 2 weeks!”

And with that I left the office, I don’t think it had hit me at that point that I got hired. It felt so surreal! But when I got back to my car… I saw my reflection in the driver's side window. my fucking belly was hanging out the bottom of my shirt ever so slightly, bunching around my midsection in a way that made my belly button outline really noticeable. Me- “Are you FUCKING kidding me??? God dammit V. This better have just happened. I swear to god if I just did an interview and an office tour in front of everyone like this I’m going to toaster water myself.”

After getting in my car and driving off I hear my stomach growl. I know I shouldn’t eat after what just happened but at this point I’m starving. I pulled out my phone and opened the Wingstop app, like 6 months into college we were hosting parties and sporting events at our apartment. Wingstop is perfect for that, everyone pitches in and you can get so many wings it's unreal. I racked up so many reward points that it's become a staple in my diet. After looking at the menu I order my usual, just a 10pc with fries, and a drink. “You know, this is a time to celebrate.. I'm gonna have to buy new clothes anyways.. fuck it” And that's when I see it, the deal of a lifetime. $17 for 20 wings, 2 large fries, and 4 sauces. That could last me for a while, I considered swapping it with what's in my cart but.. What if I didn't? Would it really be that bad? I've got 2 weeks anyways.. And besides, it's not like I'm gonna eat it all tonight.

After adding it to my cart and getting the delivery started I headed home. 45 minute wait, I cleared out my fridge last night, I just haven't gotten to the store lately so the rations are low. Still stoked about the job but my hunger is giving me tunnel vision at this point, and that's when I see it. That beautiful orange and white building, it's weird almost tent-like shape off in the distance, Whataburger. As I get closer to it I'm fighting in my head, “Yo Wingstop is gonna take forever, fuck it why not?” while the other side of me is trying to be reasonable since I just ordered like 30 wings and 2 large fries. Needless to say, I ended up pulling in, I've just been eating more recently and It's not as if this will affect me too much at this point. I pull into the drive-through and get a patty melt meal, it's one of their smaller sandwiches but that doesn't mean anything when compared to another fast food chain. It's 2 big patties probably a ¼ pound each with cheese served on Texas toast. I also got my drink and onion rings as well with my order. After going through the drive-through and paying I couldn't help myself and had to eat some onion rings on the way home. Sipping on a massive dr pepper as I do so. Once I got home I hurried up the stairs, still having about 25 minutes until the Wingstop should get here.

As soon as I get inside my apartment I turn on the TV and open Netflix on my phone. After finding a show to watch I screencast it over and get to work on the food. The patty melted steaming hot and so greasy on the first bite that I just knew it'll sit heavy in my belly. I had finished the onion rings in the car and was a little disappointed, but decided to just get the large onion rings next time. The Whataburger is on the way home from the office so I can only imagine I'll become a regular there. It's not an exaggeration to say that one meal from there can feed you for a whole day. For a normal sized person that happens more than you'd think. Within 10 minutes I was already starting to sip my drink dry, I just couldn't stop eating… but I'm still hungry. I just sorta went on autopilot and munched away. Realizing I still had about 15 minutes until the wing stop arrived I got out my rolling tray and rolled up a joint. It's sort of becoming a habit lately but what can I say, it makes the world a bit less gray and also makes food taste soooo much better. I grab my dr pepper and head outside a couple of minutes later after it's rolled.

Walking out onto my dingy little balcony that's actually just a window you fold up and can take only one step onto I look over the city around me. Will I still be here in a year? Will I move into a better place? Will I get some stupidly big promotion and move into a high rise? Or something in between… While I'm out there I look back on what's happened today. I got a job! Like a real adulting job! I'm nervous, anxious, and excited, but ready. It seems like a great environment with great people, I just gotta do what I can to prove I belong there. After going through almost all of the joints I get a notification that the Wingstop is here. I run on over to the door quickly to make sure my neighbors don't take it. Let's just say my apartment complex isn't exactly a place for blue collar workers. Hell, my dealer lives 1 building over and he's got a decent amount of competition here. I take the Wingstop inside and set it on the counter. I knew that I'd have some of it later when the munchies kicked in but for now I was gonna finish that joint. Out on the balcony again I just realize that everything is gonna work out, everything is fine and I finally have the chance to prove myself!

After finishing the joint and closing the window I head on over to the bathroom to clean up a bit and get these clothes off of me. I hadn't thought about it but my clothes were a LOT tighter now than this morning, my figure in the mirror catching my eye and forcing me to pay attention to it. I didn't want to admit it but this was another sign that I needed to just accept it. For whatever reason… I like being fat.. i really like it.. I've tried to understand it for a while now and I've tried going to the gym, anything I could do to be normal. Most people aren't like this. But whatever the reason, I just need to accept it. I start fondling my belly, pinching it, grabbing the bottom roll, and then lifting it and dropping it. It just moves so.. gracefully. So unlike anything else I've seen. I took off my outfit and the speed at which my shirt buttons separated was almost scary. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't make the situation fluster me even more. My belly falls an inch or 2 lower and jiggles back and forth, the recoil drawing me in for a short couple of seconds. Undoing the pants wasn't any better. The moment I undid the button my fupa sprung forward, immediately filling the space where my zipper once was. After stripping down to my underwear I got unbelievably horny, the sight of my body sent me into heat and made me hungry as well. The thought of being even fatter floods my mind and makes me salivate. Instinctively I begin to caress and jiggle my belly, the soft dough-like mass giving way to my hands at the slightest push.

I snap out of it after another 20 seconds and remember the Wingstop, it hadn't been long at all since I chowed down on the Whataburger but at this point, I didn't care. My lust and yearning for hedonism were in full force tonight and I wasn't about to deny myself this feeling.

I hurry over to my desk in the living room and open one of the drawers in my sectional. I've been saving some weed gummies for a rainy day, to be honest, I didn't expect to use them for something like this. I just know that if I eat one or 2 of them then my appetite will be insatiable. I'll just be able to keep going and going. As I pop one of them into my mouth I can't help but be happy that I got an extra Wingstop, this is a day to celebrate and I might as well go hard with it. If I'm gonna do it then I'm gonna do it right. I start digging into the bag and pull out all the boxes of food. Laying it out on the table I see that I have a bit of a challenge ahead of me. 30 wings, 2 large fries, and a bunch of different sauces. I then open up my fridge and refill my dr pepper from Whataburger.

I already know that I'm gonna have a food coma by the end of this. No matter how long it takes, I am going to eat everything in sight. I have already resolved myself to that and there was no way my horny brain was gonna go back on that. After getting a plate and stacking it tall with about half of the food I turn my show back on. Carrying everything over to the couch the weight of all the food is intoxicating. Just knowing that I'm about to put multiple pounds of food into my belly and bloat myself up with what's basically just pure sugar is making me so filled with lust that the moment I sit down I dig in immediately. The speed at which I'm eating would make you think I hadn't eaten in days. As I'm eating I can feel all of the food slipping down my greedy maw, coated in so much sauce that it slides down with ease. If someone saw me like this they would probably be aghast, horrified at the spectacle of pure greed and gluttony before them. But I just kept going, I haven't paid attention to my show for at least a few minutes. I just kept going with reckless abandon, I didn't care about the consequences, I didn't care about how full I was starting to feel, all I cared about was getting the next bite of food down. My stomach becomes redder and redder, eventually, I feel the pain kick in, only a few chicken wings left and about half a large fry… And I still felt determined to eat more, I had already eaten enough for many people but I just couldn't stop thinking about finishing my plate.

After rubbing my belly for a few minutes I get back to work on the plate, I’m eating slow and just sipping on my soda at this point. The pain and pleasure mixed together to send me into a euphoric daze. As I get to the last bite I’m feeling more pain than pleasure, it feels like my skin is stretching and tearing. When I swallowed the last remaining wing slathered in honey mustard I moaned loud and hard. The pressure inside my overfed gut is immense, but I know that I have something left, the soda. About a third of my drink is left and I’m sluggish, while slowly sipping the remaining liquid it feels like my belly is getting more solid. My hand grazes over it and makes me wince in pain when I press down just a little too hard. The images of Roman royalty grazing on food being brought to them by servants cross my mind, the thought of their lives and how great it would be to have someone feeding me overwhelms me. I drain the remaining soda and set the empty cup down, it falls over onto its side as I had just let my arm fall away from me. My whole body feels heavy and tight. It feels like one wrong move could tear me open. But it felt like pure bliss, like nothing in the world really mattered except for this right here.

Over the next couple of hours, I top myself up with wing stop and soda until I notice what time it is. It’s almost midnight and there are only a few wings left, so I open the sauce containers and get to work. The prospect of all the excess calories running through me is winning and I'm not stopping now. I’ve been stuck in this gluttony driven daze ever since I got back to my apartment, whatever came over me has complete control at this point.

“oook.. ughh alright, I gotta hic lay down” Through all my little groaning and moaning I pick up the to-go box and lay down with it. Propping it atop my belly and preparing myself to finish it off. Through slow and labored bites it all ends up going right past my greedy little lips and down my throat. Even my soda was almost empty now, the sugar high mixed with the meat sweats surely about to send me into a food coma. As I got to the last wing I could barely taste it, the pain in my belly was so prominent that I could barely hear the show on my TV. But as the final wing passed down my throat I had an awakening in me. Pure hedonistic bliss erupted from my body, the dopamine centers in my brain working overtime. I was already subtly rubbing my belly trying to relieve some pressure but now I couldn't help but shake it. Each motion up and down gave me instant gratification, it was as if my serotonin was on a faucet and I could just get more whenever I wanted. Every breath made my body feel tighter and tighter as I kept fondling this surprisingly hard softness.

“Oooh.. god damn. if I knew.. overeating could do this to me… ughh,, I'd have done it a long time ago” I'm not sure how much time had passed at that point, but I didn't care. Focusing on anything else just seemed like a waste of time and I wasn't sure how long this pleasure was gonna last. I kept fondling my body for a while and eventually remembered I had just a little bit of dr pepper left. It already felt like my belly was going to rip open at any moment, but about 10 cautious sips later it was all gone… I couldn't believe how much food I ate. Sure I had gone to the bathroom a couple of times since the interview and freed up some space, but still.. A patty melt, onion rings, 30 wings, a fuck ton of fries, and more soda than I wish to remember. It was dark out by this point so this had to have taken almost 6 hours. Taking a glance around the room I spot my rolling tray on the table. There was no way I could roll a joint right now because of how sluggish I am but thankfully I have my pipe. I tried to scoot back a bit to prop myself up more but every movement was making the pressure in my stomach higher and causing me to almost pass out! Deciding against trying to move out of my fresh couch divot I swing my hand over to the table and get ahold of my pipe, extremely proud of my stoner etiquette. If you don't know, if you don't have to hide your weed it's good to leave a fresh bowl of weed after you smoke. Saves you time and you'll still know if someone smoked your shit since it's a fresh bowl.

That's beside the point though, after bringing the pipe to my lips I realize how hard it's gonna be to get a proper hit. My breathing was already very labored and short by now, but I had already gotten this far and it wasn't as if I had any plans that night. Even if I did… they'd be canceled, for one there's no way I could go, and two this feels wayyy too good. The first hit made me cough hard, I could just barely hit the bowl. Take as deep of an exhale as I could muster, I then hit the bowl again. Over the next couple of seconds, I could feel all the food packed into my belly pushing back against my lungs. With a quick exhale and setting the pipe back down I was sure I would cough but I didn't. All I felt was my brain swelling with thc, instinctively I began to massage my belly and began just thinking to myself. groaning “It'd be great to do this more often.. I don't see why not?? The job pays well enough to afford the food! And besides… if it makes me feel this good then it's more of an investment than anything else right? It's not like it'll be a daily thing so I'm not gonna THAT fat right? I'm pretty big already but if I just do some cardio on the days I don't eat like this maybe I can stay this size?”

Not too long after some more caressing of my swollen belly I drifted off to sleep.

#violet stories #intox feedee #weight gain #glorifying obesity #again no promises on when the next is out

[pjsks]

SwampCon Blog Post

So… SwampCon!! SwampCon was very hectic for me. I literally woke up at like 7:00 AM on Saturday to get ready. I had two cosplays planned for Saturday because my friend wanted to do matching cosplays but I also had to change into a different cosplay for a panel I had later that day. So on Saturday, I was Razor from Genshin Impact (to match with my friend’s Bennett) and later, I was Quanxi from Chainsaw Man for a panel I was in at 7:30. We filmed a bunch of TikToks because my friend loves making TikToks.

I love cosplaying and attending conventions but I do get overwhelmed by the environment sometimes so a few hours into con I drove home to take a break. That wig headache was absolutely awful and I forgot to take painkillers before going. I was low on gas though so I had to go get gas as Quanxi which was kind of funny. Finding parking again when I came back was kind of horrible so I parked illegally (oop). The Chainsaw Man panel was basically a mini-competition between the panelists (other Chainsaw Man characters) in order to win a Pochita plush, and I won >:)!!

My favorite part of conventions though, as funny as it is, are the K-POP random play dance panels. There was one on Saturday that my friend Nic hosted (it was 2 hours long and I was kind of DYING) and another one on Sunday that my dance crew (Genesis!!! go follow us on Instagram @genesisdance_crew) hosted in collaboration with another student organization (the Korean Undergraduate Student Association). I also watched my friends compete in the dance contest which was cool. On Sunday, I had a ton of homework to catch up on and I didn’t feel like doing a super complicated cosplay, so I borrowed my roommate’s Kakegurui uniform and cosplayed Yumeko with my actual hair (because it’s black and I have bangs). The only panel I actually went to that day was that RPD that we were hosting, but I still had a lot of fun hanging out with my friends.

[agloriousstar]

I’ve been working hard on myself.

On my life.

The past year has been insane. Left my abuser, got thrown into a ton of crazy living situations and then finally found a spot that was close to the work I needed to do, close to public transit and with roommates that were kind and loving toward me.

Yes, there were a lot of drugs floating around and they threw frequent parties, but we were not a trap house and my room was on the opposite side of the house from their shenanigans, so I was able to maintain my own routines. Living in the middle of a rave focused household and social circle made the frequency of seeing it easy to ignore for me.

Someone made a comment that made us (all roomies except one were females) sound like sister wives or something and it really fucked with my mind. It seems as though the friend I was staying with portrayed it to be that way, but we were just regular roommates trying to survive the economy together.

I say all that to begin telling the story of how I got caught up in some MORE bullshit that I didn’t even start and am once again relocating and finding another job. 😂

Hold onto your tits:

SO. Gem & Jam weekend approached and I was brought along by the owner of an EDM collective (also the person I rented my room from) to help get camp set up, take care of our team & be a vibe checker. Along came his girlfriend Lindsay and a few artists that were meant to paint a mustang for an art installation.

Day 1:

We got to Gem & J and picked our campsite. Lindsay & I got the camp set up without anyone else’s help despite us asking for it. Come to find out, all four of the others started randomly tripping balls on LSD and literally spent the rest of the night in the owner’s mustang and stumbling around camp having bad trips when the weather got bad.

Meanwhile, I was having an amazing time, being the trippy rave fairy that I am. I decided to hang out at camp to ground myself later in the night and ended up taking care of 2 of the girls. One of them went into the festival by herself to separate herself from the energy.

Side note: the level of distress these girls were in were straight up MK Ultra levels of psychosis. It was insane. I had to redress them because they didn’t realize how cold they actually were and everything. 💔

Day 2:

The owner slept for the entire 24 hours.

The girls didn’t want to come back to our camp and stayed in a friend’s tent next to ours. One of the girls even went home that night because she was so exhausted and disheveled from the bad night she had and was visibly shaken.

Lindsay and I spent the day having an amazing time together, but were very exhausted from not getting help with setting up camp or making sure it didn’t fall apart in the storm the night before. I actually tapped out of raving around 10pm that night to rest and collect myself because of how much it all burnt me out.

There was a sweet dog though that came by for free smells when I was cooking and it made me vv happy. 🤍

Day 3:

I woke up early in the morning to make breakfast and green tea. The owner finally woke up around that time as well. He and I didn’t exchange more than a few words for the rest of the experience because I was disgusted and disappointed in his lack of professionalism and resourcefulness in a camping setting as he was extremely unhelpful in almost every way and I’d never experienced that treatment from him before.

At some point in my morning sequence, there was an eruption of yelling + threats directed at the guy who brought us coming from guy who owned the camp the girls moved to, who we’ll call Bill. :)

Bill and the owner had some of their own business dealings that suddenly were brought into focus by this falling out between them. The rest of the night played out with details of the things that happened the previous Friday trickling out for all to see. This becomes more relevant later.

Lindsay and I had to leave before everyone else because we both had work the next day, but the owner stayed behind. On the way back, that’s when she told me details of sexual misconduct being the reason for everyone fighting.

AFTER THE FEST:

This is when it gets even juicier, kids.

So… it was around lunch time that the owner followed us on the journey back home. Lindsay and I left at about 1am and were settled at home getting prepped for our jobs.

Owner got back and was in a state of covert distress, then said he had to run to the bank. 👀

It was THEN that I got a text saying that Bill demanded 30K to be paid back to him in cash, and for what?! I don’t know… pobably beanie babies or bulk orders of Hershey’s kisses. 😜

Anyway, we checked owner’s location and he was just driving in circles. I decided that in order for us to get the truth, us girls should go to the source of the text message since it was the only notification we had about the situation at all. I, for one, do not like being treated as a pawn in other people’s games and tend to take matters into my own hands when it comes to my safety/ wellbeing so OF COURSE, I left that hot spot and sought information.

After MUCH investigation, we found ourselves in Bill’s nest. Discussing details and determining the fact that we want nothing to do with any of their Hershey kiss quarrels. 😇 We thanked him for his hospitality and then kindly removed ourselves after what I’m about to say next had time to air out.

In the midst of this visit, the owner showed up at Bill’s house with the 30K cash in hand, but ended up losing more than that because after giving up the cash, he was forced to drop his backpack and lost the keys to his mustang as well. It was later stated that Lindsay’s life was secretly threatened as collateral while we were over there (despite not being treated that way during our visit and had the freedom to leave when we wanted to), an added reason for avoiding going back to our house.

So we left and found other places to stay for safety. The first time we went back to the house, Lindsay and I did it together because one of our roomies still has to stay there until she finds somewhere new, but also because she was able to tell us nobody had been back since any of us left, except for one visit from the owner before he went into hiding (I thought it odd he left his puppy behind but perhaps it was to keep her safe).

Days later, word got out about the owner’s desire to hold a Mexican Standoff… 🔫🤠

This made going home a thing to completely avoid.

At that point, I decided that I officially don’t need or want to have anything to do with anyone actively involved in this situation in its entirety.

As far as I know, the owner’s still in hiding. The girls and I are safe and doing okay. We’re all just picking up the pieces of this bomb being dropped on our lives. When I go back it will be with a proper escort.

😅

Told you it wasn’t my fault. Lol

[homesliceadulting]

OMG! This was supposed to be posted on 8/12, but I didn't hit post! Guess who's 30 lbs down in 6 months??? Me! What what! Look at this milestone! Just in case you're just now reading this, on Feb 5th I started a journey to get active, eat better, and lose weight. On Feb 5th, I weighed in at 338.6 lbs. I weighed in today at 308.4 lbs and that makes my total weight loss 30.2 lbs! I'm so happy about this and I'm super proud of myself. At this rate, I'll be down 60 lbs total by next February!

Aside from the celebration, this week has been interesting. On Sunday, I took my dog for an hour long walk around our neighborhood. It was great to explore my neighborhood, get some fresh air, and spend time with Beaux. When we were done with our walk, I had only burned like 475 calories and my heart rate barely reached the fat burn zone. If I do a Just Dance workout for the same amount of time, I usually burn 700 calories and most of the time, my heart rate is elevated to the fat burn category, with some cardio sprinkled in. I will say adding in the walk as a third weekly workout is great and low impact, even if the results pale in comparison to doing a Just Dance session in my house. I will be walking the dog again tomorrow and this time we'll take different streets.

I actually skipped 2 workouts this week--been having a hard time managing my time--but I think I may have made up for it. Last night, I went to karaoke with some friends and while I was there, I burned like 1300 calories. Wtf? I performed twice (sang Kids by Prince & Dream On by Aerosmith) and of course I was dancing and jamming along with the other performers as well. I drank tons of water, I sweated quite a bit, and I didn't even really walk around that much. I am astounded that I burned so many calories in a non-conventional. I earned 115 zone minutes (this is Fitbit terminology)--87 minutes were listed as Fat Burn (heart rate between 122-143) and the remaining 28 minutes were considered Cardio (a heart rate of 144-170). That's literally like 2 of my Just Dance workouts put together. I'm amazed and so happy. I'm going to work out today (Just Dance) to keep the momentum going.

As far as food, this past week was the 2nd week of me meal prepping and I realized I need to be more efficient with it. I made a meal on Sunday, then spent a few hours on Monday prepping the 2nd meal. This Monday prepping is why I couldn't work out. It's becoming apparent that I need to carve out times on the weekend to plan and prepare my meals. The 2 recipes from this week were really good. One of them was a Cajun sausage and vegetables recipe I found online. The other was a chicken/broccoli/potato recipe I found online as well. They were both very good and relatively easy to make, even though the sausage one was tedious. I don't like cooking, so batching my meals sounds as perfect as its going to get.

I've also been worried about my consumption of Baskin Robbins. I've been there way too many times in the past month trying to get the Beach Day flavor. It is SO good. In an effort to curb my cravings and not flare up my lactose intolerance, I've been buying and trying new dairy-free ice creams from the grocery store. So when I want a frozen treat, I eat a third of a pint and call it quits. I'll share my thoughts later. This approach is helping me, though. I find I have more discipline and I'm less tempted to grab fast sweets.

Overall, things are going great. I have 6 more weeks to lose 8.4 lbs--this is the goal I set in my Self Journal. With the addition of a 3rd weekly workout and paying special attention to my diet, I feel confident I can meet or exceed this goal.

#weight goals #weight loss

[pantherazuredevil]

Japan Trip 2023 - Day 5 (Fushimi Inari Taisha) Part 2

Continued from Part 1. Pictures of the torii gates while descending, and some smaller shrines. There are literally tons of these small shrines scattered throughout the mountain.

I came upon a woman holding a cat in her lap, and immediately struck up a conversation with her about the cats in the area. This one was so friendly, and allowed me to pet it with no problems. It was such a dear. I asked for permission to take the picture above.

I also queried her about the way down and she pointed me in the right direction, so I thanked her and went on my merry way. I soon came upon a fork in the road, and here is where I made my 3rd big mistake of the day. Once again, the fork diverged into a path that seemed to be leading upwards or at least was flat enough to not be seen as a downward path, while a path with no torii gates leading into the mountain wilderness was headed down. Naturally, with my lack of experience climbing mountains, I decided heading down would be correct.

Once again, it was a path filled with no people. I passed a Japanese couple early on and the husband said "こんにちわ" to me but I was spacing out, and only when he said it a second time did I realize he was greeting me, and I hurriedly greeted him back while apologizing. It would be some time later before I realized why he had greeted me.

The path was once again steep and devoid of human activity for the most part. The two pictures above were of the stairs that I took part of the way. They were steep and dangerous once more, but at least they were stairs. Here's a video of the path and the surroundings I walked through, taken at 11:28 AM.

The path reminded me of the way I felt when I was walking along Tashirojima's deserted pathways, except that this time I knew there were tons of others on the same mountain as me. If something did happen to me here I could at least count on help arriving in time.

There were a few abandoned buildings and stuff like that along the path I walked too. I didn't think much of them, but I suppose they would be a sad sight to take in.

I came to a fork in the road which would prove to be my 4th big mistake of the day. I actually took a video of this fork, this was around 11:32 AM. The sign in the video clearly said to follow that particular way to a shrine, which would also likely lead me back to the main path, but I continued on in my mistaken belief that down was right and went downwards.

I must admit though, the path this time round was an actual road, so it wasn't so bad going down it, the steep stairs were early on and I was descending anyway. It was clear however somewhere I had gone wrong once again, but I didn't really mind since it was still the morning and I had planned to make Mt. Inari the main highlight of my time in Kyoto. I had estimated I would take no longer than 2 hours for the round trip up and down, and I ended up being way wrong thanks to all the mistakes I made. I wasn't in a rush to go anywhere else afterwards at least. Here's a video I took of part of the path after I left the fork.

Imagine my surprise when I exited into this residential area. I knew for sure that I had taken the wrong path somewhere. Still, my friends had mentioned that they also exited into a residential area before, so while I was a little shocked, I wasn't too worried.

I did walk for a while and couldn't find a proper way out, so I decided to look for someone who could help me instead. I found an ojiichan tending to some plants outside his home with a dog, so I asked him for directions. He kindly informed me that getting out of the district would be an almost fruitless endeavor taking quite some time, and that I was on the opposite side of Mt. Inari from where I had entered via the main entrance of the shrine. That was quite something to take in.

A little more discussion and querying ensued before he told me it would indeed be best to return the way I came, so I thanked him profusely and retraced my steps. At the place where I entered the residential area, I met two white guys who had also taken the wrong path that I had. We had a short chat where I advised them about not entering the residential area. One of them had a phone out and said that Google was telling him to walk along the base of the mountain to go back to the main part, an 18-minute walk. They did invite me to join them but I said I wanted to find out where we went wrong, so we parted ways as I climbed Mt. Inari for the 2nd time that day.

I reached the fork without incident, and went up the way to the shrine so clearly indicated by the fork's sign this time. I soon met a Japanese guy coming downwards, and immediately asked him about the way up. His response was that I was on the right path but "この階段はまだしばらく続く" to which I could only react to with an expression of laughter and pain. We both knew what that meant for me - another extremely tough climb. I thanked him for his info and help and began the second steep climb of the day, thinking to myself I didn't come to Japan for this and yet here I am.

These were part of the steep staircase and other climbing hazards I faced while re-climbing. At least, they had railings here. It wasn't as tough as the first time up but I still had to take one or two rests here and there huffing as I went. The picture was taken, once again, halfway up this particular flight of stairs as I paused to rest, so it's an upward and downward view. It was exhausting to have to do this twice in a day, to say the least, as I definitely wasn't used to it.

I exited at what I've been told is the halfway vantage point, where there were lots of people taking a rest, at about 12:05 PM. Finally, I could heave a sigh of relief, as I was back to the main path at last and there was (almost) no danger of getting lost once again or taking the wrong path. Here's a video to commemorate my reaching the proper halfway point. I also took a short break here.

I made my way down slowly despite the somewhat late hour for lunch, and came across this friendly cat above. There are indeed quite a number of cats scattered throughout the mountain, which was what was also told to me by the lady with the cat. It's nice to also see them here.

As I descended I came across a number of shops. I bought a shirt I thought looked nice and fitted me well at one of the shops, which I'll feature in the loot post after blogging about the entire trip. I also bought a small charm before all these shenanigans, when I first reached the place.

One of the things I've always wanted to try after seeing it in anime was amazake, and I was glad to finally have the chance to sit down for a cup. This cup was ￥500 at the shop I had it, with a very friendly obaasan informing me they only had warm amazake left, which was exactly what I wanted anyway since I don't take cold drinks. It was lovingly sweet but not overly so, and quite the refreshing drink to have after the ordeal.

I had a small chat with her as well and we were both in agreement that Kansai people were friendlier than Tokyo's. Her exact words were "知らんふりをする" when people asked them for help, damn.

After that I made my way back to the start point, where I finally did the coin toss and prayer. I waited for a small group of students approaching with their teacher, who explained what to do and I listened in so I wouldn't make a mistake. I followed his instructions of tossing the ￥100 coin (which I obtained as change from one of my purchases), 2 bows and 2 claps with a final bow while making the wish. Scratch that off the bucket list.

I returned to Kyoto Station from Mt. Inari and went looking for a rather late lunch (about 1 PM). I wasn't too bothered by now on what to eat so long as it was filling, so I went inside some 定食 restaurant and ordered a soba + tatenoko (bamboo shoot) rice set for around ￥1200-1300, it was quite fine and more importantly, filling.

Continued in Part 3

#japan #japan trip 2023 #blogging #Kyoto #Fushimi Inari Taisha #Mt. Inari #amazake

[lunarvalleysbetterplanet]

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. Winter is my favorite time of year, despite living in Florida where it barely even drops below 60 degrees. I've always found all the lights and the music very comforting. My favorite Christmas movie (Elf) and hot cider with twinkling lights on the Christmas tree. Family dinners with kids running around. Sitting around a bonfire laughing with friends and drinking wine. Even Christmas eve service added to that sense of holiday joy. Singing Christmas carols and holding a candle. It wasn't necessarily the religious aspect that gave me joy, but more the community of it.

I spent from the time I was around 8 years old until 18 heavily involved in church. Then, it was much sporadic. I'd go through religious phases that would last a few months before I'd give up and return to my actual self. In July of last year, I fell into one of those spirals and for some reason, it was much worse than usual. It lasted an entire year for starters. I joined a reformed Christian church, got re-baptized (for the first time as an adult, third overall) and just fully jumped into living the most pious, devout lifestyle I could. It took a full blown mental breakdown to snap me out of it.

Christmas during this time last year was easier than ever. I was more palatable and tolerable for most of my family. I was forcing myself to agree with whatever the Bible said, including what it says about women. I spent a lot of effort trying to force myself into the ideal version of a woman. Softer, gentler, less passionate and less sarcastic. I tried carving out all of my queerness. I lost everything that makes me lovely. I was reading the Bible for literally hours and hours a day. I wouldn't listen to "secular music" and I basically stopped engaging any media that wasn't Bible approved. I went to small group, bible studies and ladies events. I served in Children's ministry. I was busier and more social than I've been in years.

And I was numb. I was disassociated because I didn't want to face that I was depressed and miserable. I gained a lot of weight. I nearly ruined the relationships with my sister and best friend who were watching me turn into a person I would have hated. But god, Christmas was easy. No arguments over politics or me being too much. My family was overjoyed to see me back in church.

Fast forward to June of this year. I have my first of three mental breakdowns. Things had not been good since like January. I was struggling and taking that as a sign I was being #theverybestchristian because the Bible says we are supposed to suffer for Christ afterall. I struggled and struggled. Cried constantly. Prayed till I was blue in the face. Upped my daily Bible reading. Until I had one second where I was sitting in my house and I looked around and said audibly to myself "What the fuck have I done? Who am I?"

And after that mental breakdown, I tried to plod on. I'd done irreparable damage to my ability to pretend I was happy or that things were okay. July I have another minor breakdown. Then August I have the big one. I am nearly unfunctional in my mental breakdown. It's triggered by me googling about spiritual drought. I start to google why I would be having these religious phases. I know it's over now. I come across a tweet and it rocks my entire world.

It had literally never crossed my mind that others go through this. I realize I do have a ton of religious trauma. I text my therapist and start going regularly again. I deconstruct, fully and actually work through why I was so afraid of hell. Why I believe what I believe. I deconvert. I realize I will no longer be a Christian. Not even a backslidden 'I'm not dealing with this but I'll come home later' one. I won't have the crutch of prayer.

Now, I am clearly dealing with some shit. My depression is raging. My house is a disaster. I've pulled away from my family because I know how they are going to take this. (They do not take it well)

I am not okay. I am working on healing. But, for once in my fucking life and I am letting myself actually work through all my trauma. I skipped Thanksgiving. Sat alone and got high. Ordered Chinese and cried, a lot. I won't miss Christmas because I love it. I have always loved it. It's gonna hurt like a motherfucker though. The soul aching loneliness that I am dealing with both from the loss of religion and the fact that I am alone. I have very few friends, no romantic prospects and being with my family is so complicated. I am so lonely it hurts physically in my chest. I find myself crying quite frequently. I am leaning into this.

I put on my 'Make the Yuletide Gay' playlist and make hot chocolate. I read holiday themed fan fiction and cry. I will go look at lights, the only single person amongst my family. I'll put up my sad little artificial tree and watch Elf with my cat. I am getting better. I won't lose the genuine love I have for this time of year.

#tw for religious trauma #tw for depression #//personal//

[larkingaroundlondon]

Day 5 - Ladies who Lark, Westminster Abbey & Carnaby Street.

With my mudlark license in hand, gloves on, kneepads and fanny pack in place i eagerly made my way upstairs to breakfast. I was so excited I couldn't contain it. Breakfast was delightful and Dustin and I had a nice chat with a couple from Greece ( thanks to google translate) Technology is so very cool. I was able to speak in english and then google spoke to them in Greek ! We are meeting so many people from around the world here in London. It's like a melting pot of culture. It's really wonderful. Another thing ive leaned since being here is Londoners don't talk to you, unless you talk to them first. They keep their head down in the street and don't look you in the eye. Kinda like Michigan. ( Sorry my Detroit friends ) IN Asheville NC, people walk the streets, look you in the eyes, wave and say hello. It was a big change when I moved to Asheville but a delightful one indeed.

Okay, so we packed up and headed on the Tube. First time riding the tube by myself to a new location. Yes a little scared, but what's the worst that can happen. Miss my stop and walk to where I need to go. ha ! London is such a walkable city. We've literally been walking 10-12 miles everyday. I can't help but think if we moved here how well toned our butt and thighs would be. Not to mention, there are so many stair! But a good thing about london is that it's FLAT! A nice change from Asheville. I could take up running again here.

My tube stopped at the Millennium bridge where I got off and went to the shore. The bathroom was calling me so I had to buy things at two stores before being able to get into one. That's the hard thing about London, it's hard to find a toilet. After spending too much money on protein bars and nuts, I made my way 10 min early to our larking spot. We went to "Banker Pub" - an historic pub right off the Thames. They had easy stairs going down and the fresh sea air was so refreshing in the AM. A few minutes later, Chris ( the mudlarking tour guide ) along with some of her "Ladies who lark" friends. We all made it to the shore and started down to another mysterious spot.

There was about 5 of us who were all mudlarking that day. It was so very cool to meet other women who all shared the same love and passion as me. We had so much to talk about ! I was so happy I almost broke out in tears multiple times. Mudlarking has always been a bucketlist of mine and It was so amazing to be on this lark with multiple women who've been doing this for 10+ years with extensive knowledge. Knowledge of pottery and bits and bobs of everything I picked up - so much so they were able to tell me A. What it was B. Time Period and C any other fun details. Everyone shared what they found with me and even gave me a few of their pieces including shards of pottery, a 1600s pipe, pins and garnets. In the little location we ended up in was a super special spot. We only had about 30 minutes in this secret spot before the tide blocked us in. There I found multiple pipes, tons of pins, pottery and garnets! Everyone was searching for garnets on their hands and knees with their noses in the same. It was magical. And here I am , on my hands and knees looking for little pins ! When you find one, you find 20. It's like they all clump together. If you're interested in learning about pins, here's a link.. https://amudlarksdiary.com/2020/02/29/pins-and-things/

It's a super fascinating read. I love pins, because of my love of sewing. It's connects to history and to the heart.

After about 3 hours on the Thames, my eyes began to get blurry and I felt gross. All that mud and sun pounding down on your back has a way of causing pretty extreme exhaustion. My findings for the day included about 8 pipe bowls, some from the 1600s, lots of pins, some pottery shards, 2 muscat balls, pipe stems, and some cool rocks. Nothing too special, but special to me. Where we larked was near Shakespeares Globe Theater, so my story is these pipes were smoked by Shakespeare and tossed into the Thames. :-)

The group dispersed and I was added to the Ladies who Lark text thread ( super honored ). Another woman from the group might join my solo trip on thursday before we head home.

Popped in a cab and headed over to Westminster abby to meet up with Dustin for our 230pm tour time. He was waiting near the Ab lincoln statue were we then walked to a spot to eat. We ended up at a pub nearby and grabbed a quick drink and bite.

Westminster Abbey was seriously amazing. Felt like you were walking into a tomb of the rich and well known. Everywhere you looked was simply breathtaking. Marble, carvings and history everywhere. I must say I pretended I was "Kate" walking down that long naive about to marry Prince William. Waving at all the guests, smiling and trying not to be nervous. Dustin was in the crowd cheering me on ! Ha ! Okay back to reality. ( yes he knows I love prince william circa 1996)

We spend about 2 hours touring around the abbey before hopping in the tube again and making our way to Carnaby street. We grabbed some coffee at Joe & the Juice. I was the last iced coffee to be made before they ran out of ice! Who runs out of ICE!? lol Dustin had a seat at a local pub called Shakespeare, while I did some shopping. I hit up Birkenstock to get some new sandals. ( the line was about 10 people deep just to get in ..WHAT?!?!) I guess they are a new thing there, and everyone wants to get in on the trend. I bought a pair of thong sandals which were about half the price of what I would paid back home. There was even a cool H&M home store where they were selling a ton of cool plants, pots and everything in between.

Dinner was upon us, so we grabbed a bite to eat at a Place called " Korean Dinner Party" They had Taco Tuesday, so we decided to give it a try. $20 / person - but had to eat all the tacos in 1 hr 20 min. HA ! The plates were tiny and we couldn't get more until we cleaned the plate. The tacos consisted of a pork, beef, tempura cauliflower and 3 different sauces. They were extremely yummy and a flavor explosion in your mouth.

We then hustled to a salon to try and buy some shampoo products that aren't yet available in the USA, but we missed them by about 5 min. Everything closes here by 8 if not earlier.

Early to bed today a 9pm kinda night. Tomorrow is BATH! Time to look at some Roman Baths & have a relaxing spa day. Our bodies need to chill for the day. Cheerio!

[camp-counselor-life]

This is the hardest summer I have ever worked and I don’t think I’m going to be able to come back next year. Dealing with covid is just too difficult and my Camp Director is completely insane. I’m on leadership and got Covid during our staff orientation. Since coming back to work I’ve been on the clock pretty much non stop with few to no breaks daily. I finally got a day off Sunday (which was reduced from 24 hours to 3 because 3 of our staffers decided to get high in the staff lodge but that’s a different problem) and in those 3 hours I got brunch with a friend who doesn’t work at camp.

The friend tested negative before meeting me and we had brunch outdoors and masked up when we went shopping. But of course they tested positive today. On top of that today was a bad day for about 500 other reasons and it ended with me severely dehydrated. But instead of going to bed early like I had planned I got an email at about 10pm saying that I had to go into an isolation tent since I could technically have Covid (since there are multiple strains of omicron). So now it is 12:30, I can’t sleep because I am so stressed and exhausted and uncomfortable and tomorrow is our big end of session event where I have to do face time with parents and i do not know how I will get through the day.

I hear you. COVID is an extreme situation, one that we all hoped we'd be done with last year, let alone this year. I haven't worked at resident camp with COVID, just some one nighters, so I can't fully understand your situation, but I do appreciate that COVID makes literally everything more complicated. Even as the world is moving on.

I think that all you really can do it try to take care of yourself and follow the COVID protocols. I usually try to take my deep breaths and breathing exercises with me to stressful situations. While we all have expectations of ourselves, give yourself some room. You're doing a lot, as leadership at camp is, let alone with COVID. All you can do is your best, and that is enough.

I wish you the best of luck tomorrow. Try to take some time to rest up, hydrate, and eat a healthy and well-rounded meal before interacting with parents. If you really can't sleep tonight, there's tons of breathing exercises like 7-11 and square breathing, or try meditation or mindfulness. For me those things are like hitting the reset and help me focus better later. But do take time to rest, however that looks for you.

You got this. Give yourself the wiggle room you deserve and take care.

#COVID 2020 #anon #working at camp

[midgardianweasley]

I‘d love to see you write an angsty fanfic with Natasha x reader (male or female is up to you) with a bad ending of your choice.

No pressure of course ✨

as requested Violet!! I hope it's okay<3

How could you do this to me?

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha hasn’t been around recently and Y/N’s been really missing her company, but that changes when some CCTV footage is discovered.

Warnings: Cheating, swearing.

Word Count: 3.6k

there was an attempted proof read, but sorry in advance if i've missed anything!!

message/ask to be added to the taglist<3

Requests are open!

You weren’t surprised when you woke up to an empty bed once again, the space beside you missing a red-head assassin. You’d grown used to the sight of bedsheets spread lazily on your side of the bed, almost completely thrown off of the edge. It wasn’t unusual, however, the feeling of disappointment that lingered in your chest every morning never eased with time.

‘I’m just off to train, baby.’

‘I need to go and see Fury about this next mission, you go back to sleep’

‘I forgot to debrief the team last night, so we need to have a meeting this morning instead.’

‘Off to get some breakfast, my love. I’ll save you some eggs.’

Those were the typical reasons you received whenever you questioned where she was going in such a hurry in the mornings. You knew she was busy, of course you did. But, you missed the mornings when she’d pull you back into her chest, refusing to let you leave until you gave her a few kisses, which never ended up just being kisses, but you always gave in either way.

Now that you think of it, you can’t remember the last time she held you. Not properly. She used to hold you in a death grip, so tight that you could almost feel her heartbeat in your own chest. Nowadays, you were lucky to get more than a few taps on the back, it felt like you were being congratulated for something.

You’d always brushed it off, thinking that you must’ve been selfish for wanting so much of her attention, you had to be more understanding of how demanding her job is. It wasn’t like you never tried, you did, everyday. It would just be nice to feel her love for you a little more, even if it was just a quick peck before she left in the mornings.

“Hey Wan’, Hey Vis” You smiled at the pair as they stood at the kitchen counter, cracking eggs and buttering some toast. They loved cooking together, Wanda always told you how cute it was when Vision was trying to learn, especially after his fiasco with the Paprika.

“Hi Y/N, want something to eat?” Wanda handed you some toast, which you took gratefully, slowly munching on it.

Vision looked up as though to engage in conversation, when he then looked around in confusion. “Where’s Ms. Romanoff?”. You shrugged.

“I’m not sure, I think she’s training, I’ve not heard from her yet.”

You were looking at Vision, but it was near impossible to miss the sympathetic look Wanda was giving you. She knew about how you’d been feeling with Natasha not being around so much, she had tried to help, to hint to Nat that you’d been feeling a bit neglected for a while now, but she hadn’t gotten very far.

“Nat, nat, I just think that maybe you should spend a little more time with Y/N” It was obvious the assassin wasn’t listening to her, shrugging it off and trying to walk past the witch, only to have a hand pressed on her chest to push her backwards.

“Wanda, I need to go, I'm running late.”

“you’re always running somewhere. I'm sure Fury, or Tony or whoever you’re in such a rush to see, can wait. You haven’t seen your girlfriend in forever.”

“I saw her last night.”

“Crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning and sleeping next to her, isn’t seeing her, Nat.”

Her words fell on deaf ears as she watched her friend turn around and walk the other way. She could’ve used her powers to stop her, she didn’t see a point though. She wasn’t listening, and she couldn’t force her to.

“It's fine though, honestly! I can hang out with you guys today if you’re not busy?”

the couple shared a look of awkwardness before looking back towards you.

“Actually, we were going to go into town and do some sightseeing. You’re welcome to join us though!” She smiled, not wanting you to be alone, which you were grateful for, but you couldn’t intrude.

“No no, don’t worry! I think I've got something Tony wanted me to check out in the Lab, now that I think about it.” You didn’t. “You guys have fun though! take pictures!” You winked, knowing full well that your best friend didn’t believe you, she hesitated before nodding her head in agreement and beginning to walk off with Vision in tow.

__________________

An hour or so went by, you still hadn’t seen Natasha at all, or anyone, really. They all seemed to have disappeared to do their own thing, leaving you to find yours. So, you found yourself wandering into your lab, where you found Tony observing the screens with an endless amount of data changing every couple of seconds. You never really understood how he made sense of it all so quickly, but you’d always been intrigued nonetheless.

He must’ve sensed someone was there, as he broke away from his train of thought and glanced over towards you, fully acknowledging how your shoulders were slumped and your eyes lacked your usual sparkle. Tony alway had a soft spot for you, he’d known you for years, taking on a role similar to a father’s. Seeing you look so defeated recently, it’d hurt him a little more than he cared to admit.

Gesturing for you to come in with a gentle smile before moving and adjusting various chunks of metal on the table in the centre of the lab.

“Ah ah!” He tapped the bridge of his nose

“You can’t be serious! Tony I-”

“Nope”

“I’m a grown woman!” You laughed in disbelief at his

“Yes, you are, and I do not plan on taking said grown woman to medical because she got a shot of electricity through her eyeball. Put them on.”

You rolled your eyes, picking up a pair of the obnoxiously large lab goggles and put them over your face. He really took being a ‘father figure’ too seriously sometimes. With your goggles on, you took yourself over to where he stood, hoping to help him out somehow and keep yourself occupied.

You watched him move around blueprints on the screen above. “So, whatcha working on?”

“Well, remember that last mission we went on? How that ended?”

“Well, considering I had to get bullets removed for the last two hours, I’d say I remember pretty well.”

His face cringed slightly “Yeah, that’s the one. I’m basically just trying to layer the suits more, but keep the weight to a minimum so that there’s more protection, but the speed and mobility is almost, if not, the same.” He pondered, mind wandering off again to try and figure out how he could make this work.

Suddenly springing to action, he started assembling some pieces together, chucking some aside and reaching for different tools he required.

Looking towards you, he tilted his head “Can you pass me the-”

His sentence was interrupted. “Hey Tony, hey-” Banner. You didn’t mind Bruce, he was always quite quiet and polite most of the time, a little awkward, but, when you have a literal Hulk inside of you, it’s probably the least of your concerns.

You waved at the Avenger. “Hi Bruce” You gave him a friendly smile, for it to be returned with an awkward gaze, which he tried to quickly shove off.

“Yeah, uh, hi, Y/N. W-what brings you here?”

“Oh, no particular reason, I wanted something to do so I thought I'd come down, just pay a visit.” He nodded, acknowledging your words but appearing a little on edge, almost.

“Hey, you okay?” You asked “You look a little pale?”

“Yeah, yeah n-no I'm fine, just a-a bit tired.” He stuttered before suddenly directing his attention towards the man standing beside you. “How’s it coming along, Ton’?”

“Not bad, I have a wonderful assistant to help me out.” he nudged you playfully.

“Haha, yeah. She’s great. Anyways, you seem to have a good hold on things, so, I’ll leave you to it and come back later.”

Neither of you had managed to get a word out before Banner had walked out and was already out of sight. You turned to face Tony again.

“Was that- did you find that weird at all?”

“I find most of the people in this compound weird.”

It was a serious question, but you couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the millionaire’s response.

“I do pride myself on it.”

“As you should. You’re the weirdest one.”

“Hey!” You slapped his arm. “Rude!”

“I’m kidding! Now, pass me that screwdriver, goggles.”

Chuckling, you threw him the screwdriver and zoned out thinking about Bruce’s weird behaviour. While Tony was right, the majority of us are weird. You couldn’t stop thinking about how unusual it was, even for him. You put it to the back of your mind though, focusing back on what the man beside you was working on. You’re sure it’s fine.

________________________

You thought you were going crazy. First you had Nat, who was disappearing every chance she got, Then you had Bruce who couldn’t look you in the eye and when you finally believed it couldn’t get any weirder, you picked up on some strange vibes from Steve.

“Oh finally! I was beginning to think no one else actually lives here.” You approached Steve who seemed to be walking and talking with Bruce, both taking a step back when they looked towards you.

“Hey Y/N, we were just-”

“We were just about to go and have a shower. Training.” Steve cut in, earning himself a glare and a shake of the head from the scientist beside him, subtle, so you hadn’t noticed, otherwise you would’ve questioned it.

“Oh? You were training too, Bruce?”

“Well, I-” He glanced at Steve. “Yeah. Yeah, I, uh, wanted to get some combat down, just in case I needed it.”

“Considering our last mission, I think we all should.” the super soldier quickly added, sending you an enthusiastic smile, which you had returned. You went to speak again, possibly inquiring as to whether or not they knew where your girlfriend was, but you hadn't had the chance as the pair of them quickly rushed off, muttering something about catching you later, leaving you on your own, once again.

What the hell was going on?

_____________________

Feeling defeated, you trudged your way into your bedroom, just wanting to shower, get into bed and sleep, and hope for some form of normality.

What you hadn’t expected, was to walk in and see the back of a familiar figure sporting the black suit she practically lived in, tying her hair into a low bun and beginning to change into some more comfortable clothes.

You were dating, so it wasn’t new to see Nat changing, but you still thought it would be decent to make her aware of your presence. The small “ahem” was enough to make her spin round and flash you a smile, her pearly white teeth on show.

“Hi babe, i’m just changing for bed. You okay?”

The words felt so unfamiliar to you, having not heard them in what felt like forever. Still, you decided to humour it.

“Yeah, yeah I'm okay. A bit of a weird day is all.”

She laughed, returning to laying out her clothes. “Well, we are surrounded by some weird people.”

“That’s what Tony said.”

There was an atmosphere in the air that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. It had always felt comfortable with Natasha, you would describe her company as being like a safety blanket, enveloping you with warmth and a sense of security. This felt different. It didn’t feel familiar anymore, it was like you were face to face with a stranger and the more you looked at her, the more it upset you.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Natasha put her palms on your cheeks, bringing your Y/E/C eyes to meet her emerald ones in the process. You hadn’t realised that tears had fallen until the pad of her thumbs gently brushed them away.

“I just, it sounds so stupid.”

“Tell me.”

You let out a sigh, eyes beginning to dart around the room. “It just feels like I’ve never seen you, I don’t remember the last time we’ve spoken and it’s, it’s been lonely.” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion at your response, lips falling into a frown, but you were quick to speak again.

“It hasn’t just been you though, I understand that work gets in the way, but, it felt like some members of the team were acting differently around me.”

“Really? Like who?”

“Well, I mean, Bruce could barely bring himself to say anything more than a sentence to me and I tried to speak to Steve just before I came here and he rushed off like his life depended on it. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being a bit paranoid.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Detka, I wouldn’t worry about it.” She whispered, hands pulling you forward with ease to bring your lips together. You smiled at the contact, you’d missed it.

You were so caught up in it, that you hadn’t noticed you were the only one smiling.

It wasn’t long before the both of you were interrupted by an electronic voice in the room.

“Miss Romanoff, Miss Y/L/N.” It was F.R.I.D.A.Y. “Mr Stark is asking for you both in the conference room.”

“Alright, thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y., we’re on our way.” Your girlfriend replied, rushing away from the kiss and leading you to the door.

Why was everyone in such a rush today?

_______________________

“So, I was messing around with some things in the lab, and I think I've found a solution to our suit issue. It’s still a work in progress because I'll need to tweak some things and then tailor them blah blah blah, but I thought I'd show you guys the latest. JARVIS?”

“Bringing up footage 182.”

While you waited for the video to be up and running, you took note of everyone sitting around you. For the most part, they looked tired, though you don’t blame them, it was pretty late.

Shuffling to your left, you held Natasha’s hand in yours, sending her a loving gaze before resting your head on her shoulder, just content that she was close by. She sat a little straighter at the action, careful not to push you off of her, but not entirely relaxing either.

The large tv screen lit up, a view from the corner of the lab came into sight where you could see Tony installing different wires and pieces of loose metal into the suit, watching it light up as he did so. He was in the middle of explaining what he was doing as the recording went on, when the screen suddenly turned to static, black and white lines taking over the screen.

“JARVIS?”

“Minor technical issue, working on it, Mr Stark.”

You caught Wanda’s eye across the table, a playful smirk plastered onto her face at the mishap, watching the billionaire get stressed over a television. You couldn’t help but laugh at the words flying from his mouth as he started hitting the remote, as if he was someone who didn’t understand technology.

It wasn’t long before an image appeared back on the screen, however, this wasn’t the same recording. This is from the gym. It focused on one of the square mats in the middle of the room where two people were sparring. One of which, you immediately recognised as Natasha.

The other person definitely wasn’t a girl, their hair was short and muscles so big you were worried that one slice would be the end. It zoomed in a little, and from the blonde hair and dark blue outfit, you pieced together who it was.

“Oooh, Black Widow and the SuperSoldier, one vs one. Now this should be interesting.” A previously tired looking Sam clapped his hands and leaned forward, now fully invested in the scene in front of him.

You turned to Nat, who now looked a little paler than she did before.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, don’t tell me, you lost this spar?” You joked, expecting her to join in and tease you back. Instead, her face displayed an emotion you weren’t entirely sure of.

Before you could question it, you noticed the room fall silent. Not even a breath could be heard in the room. Your head turned slowly, meeting a mixture of shocked and sympathetic faces. And that was when you saw it.

Nat had kissed Steve, and he didn’t stop her.

If you weren't aware of your heartbeat before, you couldn’t be now, for it felt like it had completely stopped. Your jaw fell as your eyes filled with tears, only worsening the longer you saw the two of them on the screen. It was only turned off when a third person walked into view, not needing to ponder on who it could be, you immediately faced guilty stares. Three of them.

“You- you kissed-” You stuttered, incapable of forming a sentence towards your teammate. “And, you knew?” Your voice broke, tears now beginning to find their way down your cheeks for the second time as Bruce couldn’t bring himself to answer you.

You swiftly rose out of your seat, attempting to keep yourself composed until you could be alone.

“Baby-” Natasha murmured, trying to take hold of your hand, which you snatched back before she could lay a finger on it.

“Don’t.”

“Please-”

“Leave me alone.” You spat, speed walking out of what now felt like an overcrowded room.

You didn’t hear it, you’d left too early, but if you had stayed, you would’ve heard the team give Nat and Steve the scolding of their lives, mainly from Wanda and Tony, telling them how disappointed they were in them both. How they’d be lucky if you were to forgive them for what they did.

________________________

You don’t know how long you’d been sitting on your shared bed for. It could’ve been an hour, it could’ve been a couple of minutes. All you knew, was that you couldn’t stay in this room much longer, looking at the picture frames and the shared wardrobe, it just felt painful.

So, you walked over to your wardrobe and gathered every item of your clothing into your arms, lacking any care for if there were hangers or labels in the way, and chucked them on the bed and started to chuck it all into a suitcase intended for holidays but, you don’t see that happening anytime soon.

The sound of sniffles and rustling was all you could hear in the room, so much so that it was suffocating, and it didn’t help when you heard the door creak open.

“What are you doing?” A voice squeaked. Natasha stood beside the door, fidgeting with her fingers as she anxiously bounced from one foot to the other. You didn’t even bother to look up in her direction, focusing solely on getting out of there as soon as you could.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened, I didn’t mean it.” You scoffed at her attempt at an explanation. “I love you.”

That’s what made you whip your head to see her red and puffy eyes, if this was any other situation, you would’ve rushed over and engulfed her in a hug, tell her that everything would be okay and you’re there for her. Now? All you felt was anger.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have kissed him.”

“I didn’t know-”

You stood up straight, almost laughing at her choice of words. “You didn’t know? Bullshit. I’m pretty fucking sure everyone is aware when they kiss someone. Did you know when you were kissing me then? Or did you not know that either?”

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“I don’t think I care.”

She tries to step closer to you, only for you to take one back, holding your hand out, indicating for her to stop.

“No. no, you know what Nat, you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to treat me like a stranger for weeks, like I'm sharing a bed with someone I don’t know, for you to then kiss someone else and expect me to forgive you. You have no idea how I've felt these past weeks, blaming myself and thinking I was selfish for wanting your time. It’s funny, really.”

She looked away from you, regret taking over her features, both of you now having tear stains covering your rosy red cheeks.

You broke the silence once again. “Was that the first time?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Y/N-” She pleaded

“Answer the question, Natasha.��� You spoke through gritted teeth.

Silence returned to the four walls.

“Get out.”

“No, no, we-” She stepped forward, only to halt herself when she realised what she was doing.

“There is no ‘we’. We’re done. I’ll have my stuff moved back into my room by tonight, though I'm sure it won’t make much of a difference to you.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Whatever.”

She walked out of the room, hesitating slightly, wondering if it’s worth staying and trying to figure out whatever this is. She shook her head to herself, knowing she’d fucked up. There wasn’t a fight anymore. It was done.

Collapsing on the bed, the feeling washed over you again as the finality of it all set in. You didn’t stop though. You packed your clothes, your perfumes, all of your loose hair ties and left the room with only one thought on your mind.

Natasha won’t even notice the difference.

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[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Six. Movies and Speedruns

warnings: swearing, many memes word count: 3.8k (not including pictures) (wow okay ash pop off!) 

behind the screen (irl!dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: LETS ALL JUST AGREE TO NOT LOOK AT THE DATES ON TWEETS AND STUFF BC SOME CHAPTERS ARE SO SCUFFED WITH DATES!!!! JUST KNOW THIS STORY STARTS MID NOVEMBER!!!!!!!! (in a world where covid doesn’t exist btw)

**********

.

**********

Unknowingly and unintentionally, Y/n let out a big sigh as she poured a glass of water.

"What's wrong, Y/n?" Naomi asked gently, coming up behind her and hugging her tightly.

"Peter."

Naomi hummed, a sign that she was waiting for Y/n to lead the conversation so she could follow because if it were up to Naomi, she would immediately start trash-talking Peter and she wasn't sure if that was the vibe right now or not.

Y/n shook her head in disbelief as she jumped up to sit on the counter. "He got so mad when he found out I slept over at Karl's."

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I wish you would just cut him off completely."

"I don't know. I know I should but... part of me wonders if he could ever go back to how he was when I met him. I would probably date that guy again but not who he turned out to be."

Naomi looked horrified. "No. You sound like you're considering hearing him out. No, is that a joke? He's a bad person."

"I'm not," Y/n reassured. "I'm just thinking hypothetically. Probably because I miss having someone..."

"Y/n, you have a ton of thirsty people in your mentions. If you really want someone that bad, just scroll through, land on one and I bet they're a million times better than that sack of burned potatoes."

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled lightly. "Most of those are jokes."

"Not all of them," she teased.

"I know you're going to tell me anyway so just say it. Who specifically do you think isn't joking?"

"Dream," Naomi sang.

"Okay, crazy." Y/n reached over, staying seated on the counter as she grabbed a bowl from a cabinet on her left. She then leaned all the way right, reaching as far as she could, but couldn't quite grab a cereal box from the top of the refrigerator.

Naomi rolled her eyes as she helped, handing Y/n the box. She even went the extra step to get Y/n a spoon and the milk because she was that nice. "I'm not joking. Neither is he. Karl and I have talked about it and we both agree."

Y/n paused at her friend's words, her hand hovering over the milk that Naomi held out for her. "You guys gossip about my love life?"

Naomi set the milk next to Y/n, tired of holding it out for her. "Of course? Like we don't do that about Karl? Or you and him about me?"

She couldn't argue there.

"Karl says there's a different vibe from Dream when you join calls and I believe it. I mean, I've seen it during streams myself so I can only imagine how much more obviously in love with you he is during private calls.

"That 'vibe' is Karl's delusional mind creating things. He's too scared to talk to cameragirl so he's projecting onto Dream and I."

"Yeah, okay," Naomi agreed sarcastically.

Y/n huffed. "Besides, he's in Florida. I'm in North Carolina, in case you weren't aware."

"So you're saying if you lived in the same state, you'd date him?"

"I didn't say that." She honestly had never thought of it. Sure she liked hanging out with Dream and her stomach got butterflies when he talked directly to her and he made her smile harder than anyone ever had and he—

And she didn't like him like that. She had only officially met the guy like a week and a half ago and she didn't know what he looked like. There was no way you could catch feelings for someone without seeing them.

Naomi's expression fell again. "Distance doesn't matter, anyway."

"I swear if you say something about George I will slap you," she threatened through a smile and Naomi gave her an innocent grin back.

"If you're lonely, get on Tinder, not Peter. Or get on Dream. I have no qualms with that."

"Peter isn't even an option, Naomi." Y/n sighed, ignoring the comment about Dream.  "Also," she swallowed the last of her cereal and set the bowl down with a clank. "I'm gonna tell Peter I don't want to be friends anymore. Dream and George can be added to the list of Peter haters."

"You talked to them about it?"

She nodded. "You know how I have little gossip sessions with George? Well, Dream was there too this time."

"Well, of course Dream would hate Peter. We've established that he likes you."

"No, no, you and Karl delusionally hypothesized that."

Naomi tapped the counter methodically, a sign Y/n knew to signal that she was thinking hard. "Somehow, one day, I'll prove he does."

"Good luck."

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Yes," Y/n perked up. "Go pick something, I'll get blankets."

She went to her room, grabbing her favorite cuddling blankets. She started leaving her room when she heard a ding on her open desktop, signaling that she had a call incoming from Discord. Cool timing.

"I'll be just a second, Naomi!" she called across the house before dropping the blankets on her bed and sliding her headset on, answering the call from Dream. "Hi, Dream!" She sat on her chair and tucked her knees to her chest.

"Hi," he greeted sweetly. "How are you doing today?"

"Much better than when we last talked. How are you?"

"Great now that I'm talking to you," he said smoothly. Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. "Are you busy?"

"Unfortunately, yes. My roommate and I are about to watch a movie."

"Ooh, what movie?"

"Not sure yet. Any suggestions?"

"Dark Knight. Unless you wanted me to say, like, Tangled or something."

"Yeah, girls' night is exclusively princess movies. Do you know nothing?"

"Apparently," he said with a laugh.

"What's up?"

"Oh, well, I was just gonna see if you wanted to be on call later with me, George, and Sapnap while I stream speedruns, but you're hanging out with your roommate so nevermind."

"Oh," Y/n deflated. "That sounds fun."

"I can push it back if you want to be part of it. If not, that's fine. I just thought it would be cool."

"No, no, no I really do want to, but I don't want you to have to push it back. When were you planning on starting?"

"In about an hour."

"I'll just join later if you're still playing. If that's okay that I come late."

"No. You have to be on time or not at all," he joked. "Of course that's fine," he assured. "And if I'm not playing anymore, you can still join... we usually talk for forever after we play games and it's fun. I would, er, we would love for you to hang out with us."

Y/n couldn't help the large smile on her face from staying even after they hung up and she walked back into the living room with her pile of blankets. She couldn't help it even when Naomi pointed it out and asked why she was so happy.

"Oh, uh, I've been invited to join Dream and them later for a stream."

"That vague answer doesn't warrant the shit-eating grin you have."

Y/n shrugged and cuddled more into her blankets. "What movie did you pick?"

*****

As the end credits rolled across the screen, Y/n yawned and looked over to Naomi in the dark. She was out like a light. Y/n stood up and made sure Naomi was covered in the blanket and she had a pillow. She crept back to her room and slid her headphones on, pulling up Discord where she saw the three boys' names still in a voice call.

She pulled up Twitch on her second monitor and looked for Dream's stream. It was already about an hour in. She clicked on it and her headphones echoed with the sound of George and Sapnap laughing like they said the funniest thing in the world.

"Shut up," Dream muttered. "Guys, what were the coords for the portal? Seriously, come on."

"Nobody tell him," George joked.

"George!"

"Where's Bugsyyyy?" Sapnap whined. "I want her to make fun of you with us."

"Half the stuff we're making fun of him for is about his big fat crush on her so..."

"George!" Dream yelled again. "No, it's not!"

Y/n smiled as she heard that, knowing it was a joke but laughing at the way Dream laughed at the accusation. She knew it wasn't serious or else they wouldn't talk about it on stream. George and Sapnap teased a lot, but certainly, they wouldn't out someone's crush in front of a hundred thousand viewers live.

"Oh!" Sapnap spoke out loud as George laughed loudly, both reading the text at the same time. "Speaking of..."

Dream waited for either of the two boys to elaborate but neither of them offered one. "What happened?"

"Bugsy texted us," George said off-handedly, typing a response to her. "She's coming in a second."

"Oh."

"What do you mean 'oh'?" Sapnap laughed.

"You guys have a groupchat?"

"Aw, jealous?" George asked.

Y/n joined at that moment, the first sentence coming from her Discord instead of Twitch being from Sapnap saying, "Would it make you more jealous to know our group name is Bugsy's Boys?"

"No, Sapnap, that's the one with Karl," George corrected. "The one with just you, me, and her is Bugsy's Boyfriends."

"WhAT?"

"I still don't approve of that, by the way," Y/n commented.

"Bugsy!!" Sapnap giggled happily. "You're finally here!"

"BUGSY!" George cheered.

"Hi guys!" Y/n laughed at the enthusiasm she was greeted with. "Hi, Dream!"

There was a few seconds of silence before, "Dream!!" George yelled right before the death screen appeared on the Twitch tab still opened on Y/n's right screen. "You idiot, what are you doing?! Why did you throw that run??"

She covered her mouth with the hoodie collar and laughed. "Off to a great start, bud."

"NO!" Dream yelled, knocking something, or somethings, off his desk. "Noooo! I didn't throw it, George, I FELL! Oh, that was going to be such a good run."

"What happened? How did you miss that huge ravine?" George asked while laughing. "It was literally right in the open. You didn't even try to use your water bucket."

"I-I was... I was distracted."

"By what? The completely open field with nothing blocking your vision?" Sapnap criticized with a laugh as well.

Y/n giggled to herself before letting her eyes trail to his chat, which was filled with the same accusations and guesses.

user5: BUGSY!

user2: DISTRACTED BY BUGSYS VOICE

user4: imagine saying hi so cutely that you make a man fall into a ravine

user1: are they dumb? obviously bugsy saying hi made his brain short-circut

user6: guys stop it wasn't bc she said hi. it was the g i g g l e

user3: DISTRACTED BY BUGSY!!!!

user8: HI BUGSY

user10: how to kill a man: hire bugsy to giggle and say hi directly to him

Y/n immediately blushed and covered her face again. She really had a habit of hiding even when no one could see her.

"Oh my gosh," Dream groaned, leaving the world and starting a new one. "Oh. My. Gosh. That's so annoying. I was doing so good."

"Oh," Sapnap laughed. "I understand now."

"What? What did I miss?" George asked.

"Just read chat," Sapnap explained. "They have the answer. Dream, your chat is so smart. Thanks for solving the mystery, chat!"

"No, they aren't ri— that isn't true!" Dream defended. "Chat, shut up."

"You sure?" Y/n asked teasingly, watching as his character paused when she started talking. Was she really making him this flustered just by talking? Surely not. He was just playing into the joke. He continued playing without saying anything, which made George and Sapnap laugh more.

The subject eventually changed and the atmosphere quickly became more relaxed and chill. Tonight was not a feral night like George had texted in all caps.

"Hey George," Y/n started, biting on her hoodie string with a smile because she knew Naomi would hear this when she watched the VOD the next day. "My roommate says hello."

"Oh my gosh," he muttered, making her laugh. "Let it go."

"Wow, I guess that's one way to treat your fans..."

"Fine," he sighed. "Tell her I say hello."

"Well, not if you don't mean it," Y/n teased.

"Yeah, George, you sound so unenthusiastic?" Sapnap asked.

"He's just flustered," Dream commented. "It's okay George, you can have feelings."

"Dream, you fell into a ravine because Bugsy said hi."

"Oh, come on! That's not—I just— I missed the jump! That's it!"

"I'm not flustered or unenthusiastic, I'm just tired, okay?" George explained, ignoring Dream, a yawn spilling out of him to prove it.

Y/n smiled. "Well, you could always let me give her your number if you really want..."

"No. If she had Discord you could give her that but not my phone number."

"Wait, really?" Y/n gasped. "Seriously?"

George laughed lightly. "Yeah, sure, why not?"

"YES! Okay, a huge win for the girls. Well, a huge loss for the fangirls but a huge win for the girls of this apartment."

"Oh my gosh," he muttered and she could practically see him rubbing his face in embarrassment.

"I'll send you her hashtag when she makes one so you know who to add back."

"She's going to make an account just to talk to George?" Sapnap giggled.

"Yes, dude!" Y/n defended. "She at least wants to be his friend, let her shoot her shot!"

Dream ended the steam soon after, not being able to focus enough to beat the end on any of his runs. He had streamed for just under two hours so he seemed to be getting tired as well. George went to bed soon after and after 20 minutes of talking with Sapnap and Dream, Sapnap mysteriously disappeared.

Y/n was about to leave as well, not wanting Dream to feel obligated to stay on the call with her when he spoke up.

"Does Naomi actually like George?"

"Yeah, she does."

"Then I want him to accept her love."

Y/n laughed. "How is he with long-distance relationships?"

"Well, he and I do just fine..." Dream joked. "Oh, not what you meant. I don't know, you guys are the ones that talk about each other's love lives apparently."

"You're still bitter about that?"

"Yes!"

"Suck it up," she laughed. "Naomi would do probably anything to date him so I doubt distance is a problem for her."

"George's sleep schedule is completely messed up, so the time difference wouldn't matter too much. And when he comes to America they can meet in person."

"Wait, he's coming to America?" Y/n gasped happily. "When?"

"There's no set date, but yeah eventually. He'll probably just come to Florida but we've all talked about having a huge meetup with a lot of our friends."

"Oh... cool..."

"Bug? You know you'd be invited to that, right?"

"Oh, really?" she smiled.

"Of course. You're part of the group now."

"Sick," she muttered to herself, but he heard.

"Bug, you're one of my favorite people, do you know that?"

She blushed. "Really?"

"Really."

"You barely know me, Dream."

"Yeah, well, I know enough to know that I'm sorta attached to you."

"Attached to me? In what way?"

He suddenly sounded nervous as if his brain caught up with what his mouth was saying. "I don't know, nevermind."

"No, Dream, what do you mean?" her voice was soft and understanding and it made him feel safe.

"I just... I don't know. I care about you a lot. We met only, what, like a week or two ago, and I already worry about you a lot. Playing games doesn't feel the same anymore unless you're playing with us."

"To be fair, we have been tweeting at each other for much longer than a week or two."

"Yeah, that's true. But it's not the same as actually talking to you."

She smiled shyly. "I care about you a lot too, Clay." His name sounded strange as if it suddenly made everything much more serious. "Sorry, that just kinda slipped. I won't call you Clay if you don't want me to—"

"No, it's okay, it, uh, I like hearing you... say it. But, uh, you can call me whatever you want."

She smiled widely at the nervousness in his voice and the hard pounding of her heart. "I've heard from multiple people that you never stop talking about me."

He laughed timidly. "Maybe. Do you talk about me?"

"Ask Karl," she giggled. "My guess is yes." Her stomach felt tingly and her hands shook lightly. Why did she feel like this all of a sudden? It was late, she reasoned. That, or it was because Naomi had planted the seed of curiosity in her mind. Did Dream like her? No... right?

"I'm sorry if my chat was making you uncomfortable at the beginning when I died..."

"Don't worry, I wasn't uncomfortable."

"It was true, by the way," he paused, "what they were saying. Just... in case you were wondering."

Y/n couldn't wipe the smile off her face, which was growing painful at this point. "What, my voice makes your brain short-circut? That was one comment I saw."

Dream laughed. "More like your entire presence, but... yeah I guess so."

How is someone supposed to respond to something like that? The sweetness in his voice almost made her sick but in a good way.

And just like when he named her Minecraft flower something sweet knowing that no one would see it, why was he still playing up the joke when no one was around?

Not knowing what to say, she decided to let him in on a little secret. "If it matters, you're one of my favorite people too."

"It does."

There was a deathly moment of tense silence as if both of them were screaming to say something but neither did.

"Basically, if we do have a meet-up, I'll sue you if you don't come."

Y/n laughed. "My pockets are empty, sir, so... good luck."

He laughed and it was music to her ears.

"Are you not nervous to show everyone your face? Like, if or when we do all get together."

"Not really. Especially not if it's just to our friends. Are you?"

"Yeah," she admitted.

"Why?"

She sighed. "I'm sure people have me painted in a specific way in their heads and I've seen fanart of me that is way different and way more attractive than I am. I just don't want to let anyone down by not living up to their expectations."

"Bug," Dream said softly, "you couldn't let anyone down."

"You don't know that."

"You can't disappoint real friends or real fans with the way you look."

"To be clear, Dream," she laughed nervously, afraid she would sound conceited, "I don't think I'm ugly. I like the way I look. I'm happy with me. But that doesn't mean I can't still let people down."

"Different than expected doesn't mean disappointing."

His words smacked her in the gut. He was right. Reality and imagination are very different. Neither has to be better or worse than the other. She could look the complete opposite of how someone expects but that doesn't mean they will be either disappointed OR pleased. And why does it matter anyway? If she likes how she looks, who cares what other people think?

"It's also scary to think of getting recognized in public," she admitted. "Being recognized from the start is one thing because it starts off slowly with only a few people knowing your face but if the first time people see your face is when you have millions of fans, the recognition would be overwhelming."

"That's true. I don't think I would mind that much, though."

"Of course not, you're you."

"What does that mean?"

"You like the spotlight."

"I guess. Not all the time."

"Well, what about you?" she asked. "Are you afraid of people knowing what you look like?"

"No. I want to do a face reveal soon but I don't know how I would do it. I want to do it at some kind of event or something but I don't know."

"I need to schedule around when you do it because you'll break the internet. Give us content creators a warning so we can prepare to not get viewers for a week."

Dream laughed. "Oh come on."

"Twitter would just be full of the same picture of you in every single tweet."

"It won't be that big of a deal."

"Something tells me your millions and millions of subs say otherwise."

"Whatever," he said. "As if you wouldn't break the internet too."

"Maybe for a day or two. But you'd break everything for weeks."

"Sure." There was a long pause before Dream softly said, "Karl's lucky."

"How so?"

He didn't speak for a moment, almost like he wasn't prepared for that question because he didn't mean to be heard. "I wish I could know you the way he does."

"You could. He and I knew each other in person first so it's different. You and I could get there eventually."

"You think so?"

"I know so. I trust you a scary amount for someone I met weeks ago."

"I didn't mean to sound like I'm trying to pressure you into showing me your face or telling me your name. I didn't mean like he gets to know what you look like and I don't. I meant, like, I wish we could hang out in person because I prefer that over talking in Discord."

"I get it, Clay. I feel the same way," Y/n said softly. There were a few moments of silence before she spoke again.

"Oh, gosh, it's already four."

Y/n's head snapped to look at her clock, which read 3:57am. "Already?" she whispered. "Dang."

As if acknowledging the time changed the atmosphere, it suddenly felt like 4am. Her back ached from her shifting in her chair so much over the last few hours, never being able to find a good position. The house was eerily quiet and all she heard was the low hum of the heater. The house felt stale, not used to its occupants being so alert and awake at that hour.

"I should probably go to bed..."

"Yeah, me too," Dream agreed. His voice sounded tired. "Thanks for joining us, it was really fun with you."

"Thanks for inviting me. Sorry I made you die. Hopefully you'll still let me back again."

"You're always invited to barge into my streams. Actually."

Y/n giggled again and mentally slapped herself for sounding like a little kid. "Well, you too. You can interrupt my streams anytime."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Goodnight, Clay."

"Goodnight, Bug."

**********

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#rpf #real person fic #dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcty x reader #mcyt x y/n #clay x reader #smau #dream smau #dreamwastaken smau #social media fic #social media au

[enderwoah]

ORIGINS SMP HEADCANONS (because i love them): SEASON TWO EDITION BAYBEEE

(this is really long ENJOY :gun:)

tommy

he is phil's son smile

phil's most recent son at least

he's got like one more somewhere

he picked this one up off the dangerous streets a few years ago and he's been sticking with phil ever since

his wings are small- not too small to fly, but they're untrained to the point where it would take a lot or work to get him off the ground

but at first, he didn't really seem to want to learn all that much?

(he has three scars on his face- all from trying to learn how to fly when he was younger)

(he gave up after the third one)

("if at first you don't succeed; try, try again" is his motto, and he tried all three times)

but!! phil and wilbur are very persuasive :) and now that he knows he can fly, he's not going to rest until he does

he's a little manipulative to get what he wants sometimes, but can you blame someone that lived on the street for so long?

he had to do that to survive! it's not his fault.

(it's a great excuse.)

he laughs like a kookaburra amen

he squawks when he gets scared

he chirps. he tries not to because it makes phil go absolutely bird-brained but he does sometimes and he hates it.

tubbo

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A B[GUNSHOTS]

god he is. so fucking annoying (/rp)

he simply does not know when to stop

he ignores social cues to see when someone is annoyed

(see: he can read social cues. he does read social cues. when you get annoyed that's when he starts being more annoying, because you're more likely to give him what he wants to get him to shut the fuck up.)

he loves talking to (at) people, especially people he doesn't really know that well

so he's trying to be friends with ranboo, but the absolute prick keeps trying to avoid any actual conversations, so that's not working

he buzzes when he gets excited-happy

his fingertips are completely blackened and horrendously sharp, functioning as ten individual stingers

they don't do any actual damage but he's working on that

techno

wither hybrid (??)

how can you be a wither hybrid?? nobody got down and dirty with the wither

he's an experiment

the reason we haven't seen him yet? he's staying away from the main area of the smp

he doesn't want to ruin its natural beauty with his withering effect, so he keeps to himself on the outskirts of the smp

which sucks

withers get health from killing things

he's not fully a wither, so he gets energy from being around people and sort of draining their life force a little bit

he feels terrible when he's with just one person because they are Literally his life support and it makes the person feel like shit

when he's with a big group of people its great!! he only has to take a little bit from everyone and its barely noticable!!

but then there's the wither part. so he has to stay away.

he's always tired

always exhausted

he's a farmer, so taking it from animals works, but god does he miss people

but he can only visit a few times and for very short

(he's afraid that one of these days he'll get so bad that the next time he sees someone he'll accidentally kill them)

(it already happened once. he's blessed that he's been forgiven, even made friends with by the victims, but he doubts he'll be able to pull that off again with no consequences like last time)

wilbur

phantlings are dead elytrians, and given that wilbur was phil's son...he's a phantling

he died in the late 50s and was a librarian when he was alive, so he's very possessive (ha) over all of his things

you should never ask to "borrow" anything from him, he will hound you about it until you give it back

it's best to just say that you want something from him to keep

even if youre going to give it back

just for your own peace of mind

phantlings can feel fear and get a genuine feeling of elation from scaring people

of course, sometimes its unwelcome (feeling large amounts of fear from someone they care about in a bad way just makes them pissed)

but for the most part, wilbur loves appearing in the corner of people's visions just to jumpscare them a few minutes later

all in good fun, of course!! it's just hilarious :)

being the lighthearted, fun guy he is, he's not particularly secretive about his method of death

"how did i die? well, it all started -- ended -- on november 16th, 1958!"

"i walked out of the library late, since i took the shift for my wife since she was feeling sick and i worked there anyways,"

"the streets were dark and only lit up by gaslamps...and out of an alley...appeared..........."

techno.

he didn't mean it. wilbur isn't at all mad at him (anymore)

he was starving. he didn't know that one touch would be enough to fully revitalize him...

and murder wilbur where he stood.

sneeg

has details on everyone on the server

you Cannot Hide Shit From Sneeg

its impossible

if you find of his any shittly little mouse holes then you're doomed

you find one and there are twenty more

he's under your floorboards while you're having your important discussion about trapping the nether roof

sucks to suck ig??

he seems to be the favourite of many, which is weird since he rarely goes out of his way to actually talk to many people

he's the only person that tubbo doesn't actively try to annoy (or maybe he just doesn't find tubbo's antics all that annoying)

he's the only person that ranboo stays around (or maybe he stays around ranboo- he and Phil seem to be the only ones not off-put by his slightly sadistic and whiny demeanour (not counting tubbo, who annoys him anyways)

phil seems to be more protective of him than he thinks is normal (he lets sneeg ride on his shoulder while travelling, so he doesn't really complain)

niki is completely protective over him (again, not complaining)

contrary to popular believe, he does not get high from sugar

if anything he gets

high-per

(get it)

(high-per)

(hyper)

he's literally just a nine-year old getting a sugar rush leave him alone

phil

take the normal "bird-brain" headcanons and multiply it by like sixty-four

and you've got origins phil

he can't see glass- or, rather, he can, but it doesn't register that 'hey, this is a solid surface i am going to slam into'

its very funny for everyone else but he's pretty sure he has permanent brain damage from the blunt force trauma

if there is ANYONE on the server who dares to chirp, bird or no, they must understand that they are signing away their privacy and giving phil the right to go absolutely bonkers over them momma bird style

(shoutout to tommy, wilbur, ranboo, and fundy for having to suffer through this)

"oh??? you don't have wings?? you don't have feathers?? omg?? then what's this im preening?? what do you mean im just braiding your hair?? nono this is preening smile"

god help you if you dare to have wings

poor tommy, wilbur, sneeg, and tubbo

phil can't help himself alright

do you think he wants to be any sort of protective over sneegsnag?

no!! but he cant stop himself!! sneeg might damage his wings if he keeps flying those super long distances!!! nnnno! carry the bug man!!!

it's weird, he's always had that protective sense over ranboo, too

but ranboo very obviously doesn't have wings, so he doesn't get it...

ranboo

yes ur a peasant

yes ur poor

yes im cooler than u

what r u gonna do about it

the enderdragon's son! partially a dragon, partially enderman, partially human (don't ask, his other mom is a hybrid), all spoiled brat!

given that he has a ton of dragon genes, he's extremely possessive over his stuff and Yes He Does Do The Hoarding Thing

he has a pile of rings and gold chains and necklaces and most of his jewellery hidden underneath his bed

(if you ask him, no, he doesn't)

not to wear

just to Have

one time, fundy stole one (1) bracelet from the hoard and ranboo was sent into a panic for a good 24 hours

he wouldn't leave his cave and kept counting and recounting as if that'd make the missing piece reappear

(when fundy had to give it back because of the guilt, he expected to get his face bitten off)

(instead, he just watched as the prince was flooded with relief, telling him to get the hell out and nothing more)

it's weird, he has so much gold and even a crown, and yet here he is

living with all those people ^^^

truth be told, the enderdragon isn't a very nice dragon

nor is she a very kind queen

nor was the other queen

nor was her son

there was a mutiny in the end, leading to the dragon queen and her wife being killed brutally by the crowd of angered people

they went after their son next, who had ordered executions and worked servants to the bone just as much as they had

they cut off his wings in the middle of the square

he was sure he was going to die until a random person (a peasant) jumped up and yelled at them for publicly torturing a child

but ranboo didn't really catch all of it, given he was delirious from pain

he got to get some stuff quickly and escape with his life

this wasn't too long ago, either, so he's still trying to...adjust...to people talking rudely to him

(he's also trying to adjust to not having wings)

(hence why he hurls himself off the edges of cliffs and then has to teleport to the bottom instead of glide. he keeps forgetting.)

#this is so long #origins smp #originssmp #ranboo #tubbo #philza #philza minecrft #sneegsnag #wilbur soot #technoblade #tommyinnit #help this is so long