I dont choose when I post my wips, the frog in my brain does
Master Shaak Ti was a very kind, understanding, and patient Master. She always had been when training him, and he was glad that she hadn’t changed at all since he had been her Padawan.
She hadn’t changed that much since his first mission with her as a Knight, and she wasn’t different in how she treated him now. It was easy for her to pick up on his weariness.
The mission had been long and grueling, nothing that he and Master Shaak Ti couldn’t handle on their own, but still, rescuing a duo of baby Night Brothers— his brothers— from Dathomir had been… nerve wracking. It had taken all of Shaak Ti’s patience and wit, and everything that Maul had begrudgingly learned from his Clanmates, to come to an agreement with the Nightmother.
The Village that Maul’s brothers had come from would be removed from any Nightsister activity, the head of the Village given a com directly to the temple in the case that the Nightsisters didn’t hold up their end of the deal, and Maul would take his two brothers to Coruscant. In return, the Jedi would find a way to break Ventress from Dooku’s hold— something that Maul very much looked forwards to in the upcoming battles between them.
Still, he sighed as he trudged wearily through the temple, holding one brother in each arm— they were so small still, just babies, really— and heading back towards his shared quarters. By all means, a Knight should have had their own Quarters, unlike when they were a Padawan living with their Master or when they were initiates living with their dorm-mates and clan-mates.
But Maul was an interesting case.
Zabrak were solitary beings, yet Maul prefered to know that there was a second member of his created clan nearby when possible.
That reminded him, though, he’d have to introduce the rest of his self-made clan to the two. Savage and Feral, he had been told. His brothers— His.
If anything, the only protest would be from the Council because he wasn’t supposed to keep children out of the Crèche.
Either way, he decided as the doors to his quarters opened, he’d keep the two as close as he could. The whole Attachment rule was stupid anyways, obviously the Council didn’t see how his Clan was still “light” and firmly connected to one another.
Maul made a face as he stepped in, seeing his Clan-Siblings sprawled across the floor.
“What the hell happened with you all?” he asked as Bultar rolled to her feet, pulling Lissarkh and Bant up with her. Agen sat up as well, brushing his hair back.
“The usual,” Bant sighed as Sha simply shifted from where she was sitting on the Sofa.
Maul nodded to her before he fixed his Clan-Brother with a pointed look. “I thought you were in Huttspace, Kolar.”
The other Zabrak snorted, arms crossing. “For that long? Who am I, Vos? I get my work done quickly and easily.”
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Hi im here to ruin your evening:
Had Order 66 not been enacted, had the war ended with Republic victory, had everything gone right, Plo Koon would’ve taken on Gungi as a padawan. Gungi, who was a Wookiee like his own Master had been.
He would have taught him the same things that his Master had taught him about being a Jedi, and about Wookiee culture, he would have taken him to Kashyyyk and celebrated Life Day with him, with Sha, and with Plo’s Uncle.
Gungi would’ve been accepted into the Wolffepack by the boys, and would’ve learned the ins and outs of the rest of the Jedi world though Bultar, Lissarkh, and Ahsoka. He would’ve been able to bypass the Trandoshan vs Wookiee stigma.
But that never happened, because Order 66 did hit, and Gungi was one of the children killed in the temple, Plo and Lissarkh werw killed by their own men, Bultar was killed by another Jedi, Sha was killed by Vader, Ahsoka went into hiding, and the unnamed Uncle’s fate is unknown.
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another six sentences but from something different
“Knight Sawn, Knight Koon, Knight Lissarkh,” Yoda greeted, “To hear from you suddenly, a surprise this is.”
“Perhaps,” Sha said, “But I recently got a feeling that something was wrong.”
Palpatine only looked confused at that, as did Skywalker and Ahsoka but the other Jedi just nodded.
“Yes, we recently lost all contact with Master Plo Koon and his men,” Mace Windu said and Bultar glanced to her crèchemate and cousin-through-lineage who was silent and still. “We have... assumed the worst.”
“Pardon my bluntness,” Lissarkh spoke up, arms crossing, “But masters did it not occur to you to ask the other Kel Dor among the Order?”
Yes I’m still sad that they missed the chance to have three more badass ladies in Canon for TCW because they needed the t e n s i o n for Ahsoka and Anakin. No I wont let this go
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Voolvif: Hm, dirt. Tasty.
Bultar: The D in dirt stands for do not eat this please!
Voolvif: And the I stands for I will anyway because I'm hungry and we're in the middle of nowhere.
Lissarkh: The R stands for rat, which is what I would give you to stop eating dirt.
Sha: And the T stands for trans rights!
Agen: There's no more letters left but don't eat dirt.
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Nahdar: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Anakin: I’m gonna tell them.
Bultar: Don’t you dare.
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Bultar: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.
Maul: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.
Bultar: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?
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Hello and Goodnight
Fandom(s): Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Star Wars (Prequel Trilogy)
Summery: Ahsoka wanted to see the meteor shower, and unexpected visitor shows up at the docs but he's not an unwelcome one. || AU of an AU— Wolffepack against Child Abuse x MerMay AU
Pairing(s): PloKit, Micah/Plo (Past)
Part 2/3 of the May the 4th fics I have planned. Is this the cursed one? Probably not.
It's also my MerMay bit, though It might not be the only one I do for MerMay, we shall see
Children, Plo Koon knew, were precious. From the moment he had held his baby sister— he had been six years old then— to his career as a teacher, and then as part of the Child Protective Services, to when he held his niece for the first time, to when he first started acting alone outside of the Protective Services…
Yes, children were very precious.
The first children that he had adopted had been when his best friend and first partner had still been alive and with them. They were the same age, though one had been eight when she had been brought into the family, the other seven.
Lissarkh had been the eight-year-old, and had survived in back alleyways, eating scraps from the ground and dumpsters, and had bitten him when he had lifted her up out of the one behind his and Micah’s apartment building. Now she was just older than Wolffe, her hair dyed green and working with Mace to uncover smuggling rings with the Courscant Police.
Or she would be, had she not decided to go back to school. And Plo was fine with covering the costs for both her and her sister.
Bultar Swan had been Plo’s— and Micah’s— very first child. She had been taken in a year before Plo rather unceremoniously found Lissarkh behind their apartment building.
Taken from abusive parents in the city of Kuat, Plo hadn’t the heart to allow the child to enter the Forster System and appealed to Micah then for help.
Ah, but that had been such a long time ago.
Micah had been shot and killed close to fifteen years ago. Bultar and Lissarkh had been twelve, and Lissarkh had only managed to have four years' worth of rather fuzzy memories with him.
Still, in grief and death, he didn’t stop his care of other children. When Bultar and Lissarkh were twelve, he had found Wolffe and his brothers.
And life continued from there.
Plo loved all his children. It was as simple as that.
And as the night continued on, and the embers of the fire began to die, he knew that. Children were precious, and he loved his children.
Plo gazed over the sleeping forms of Boost and Sinker, tangled with Nex and Nox, and Comet. Warthog, Ghost, and Wildfire sprawled in the grass nearby, and Ahsoka wedged between Wolffe and Tracer, with Bultar and Lissarkh nearby and a number of their other brothers and sisters laying in the grass around the once blazing bonfire.
Ahsoka wanted to watch the meteor shower that was due overhead rather soon. Somehow that had translated into inviting as many of the ‘Plo's bros’ from across Coruscant as possible and everyone having a cookout and bonfire in the fields by the docs.
Plo didn’t mind.
It was lively and rather amusing to watch Ahsoka and Maul gang up on Anakin and Obi-Wan. To meet Bultar and Lissarkh’s friends again, to see Sha again— though she didn’t live too far from Dorin, just on the edge of the city and no more than a three-hour ride to her apartment building.
It had been a good evening.
But now the children were all settled down to rest until they woke back up due to the numerous alarms set on various phones.
A splash down at the docks made him perk up a bit, folding his glasses back into their case and setting them on the picnic table. He stood, picking his way through the sleeping bodies and walking down to the docks.
Data and Cable (And Plo would never question the boys on the names they wished to choose for themselves) had a small boat that was docked there for when Data needed silence from the noise of the house, but that wasn’t what had alerted him and that's not what had splashed down there.
It didn’t take long to get there, nor did it require much effort to find the switch that turned on the lone lantern at the end of the dock, and a familiar form was leaning on the planks.
Had the figure been a normal human, Plo might’ve been concerned about why they were on the end of his dock, but they weren’t— he wasn’t.
Not with green skin, large, dark eyes, and tentacle-like tresses instead of hair. No, this one was not human, though he did walk around in a human skin sometimes. He was a Mer, simple as that, though very different in appearance than the mermaids so commonly seen in movies and fiction. Most all of them were.
Nonetheless, Plo chuckled as he walked down the dock towards the figure.
“Hello, Kit,” he greeted, sitting down and crossing his legs upon reaching the end. A grin full of razor-sharp teeth was flashed his way before melting into a quizzical look.
“No glasses tonight?”
He chuckled. “No,” he told the other, “The light isn’t as bright at night, so my eyes aren’t bothered.”
Kit seemed to ponder on it for a moment before accepting it, something Plo assumed he would, considering how he knew a number of other Mer from the depths of the sea who were also sensitive to light.
Kit had been showing up at Dorin’s docks for a few months now, ever since Wolffe had accidentally fished him up, really. And then, of course, Plo had connected the dots a few weeks later and had met Kit Fisto the Mer-Rights activist, Kit’s human guise.
It had been a good few months of friendship, and, later, a rather interesting romantic partnership.
And Plo rather enjoyed the time spent talking with Kit.
“So what brings you by here?” he asked and the green Mer just flicked his tail, a few drops of water splashing onto his cheek where the medical mask wasn’t covering it.
“Heard some noise when I was on my way back from Aayla’s bar and decided to pop in,” Kit hummed loftily, before be paused. “Foul's still missing, by the way, so if you hear anything make sure to pass it on to her so she can get it to us.”
Plo nodded slowly at the mention of the other two— while Aayla herself wasn’t a Mer, nor was Foul, the two were still targets for the Creatures Trade. A faerie and a yeti, far from their homes, and now Foul was missing.
“I will,” he assured the green-skinned Mer, who just grinned again.
“So, why are all of you and yours out this late?” he asked, leaning on his elbows as his tresses curled, flicking drops of water.
Plo hummed, glancing back at his sleeping children. “Ahsoka wanted to watch the Meteor Shower,” he told him simply.
The Mer clicked softly, chuckling before nodding. “Yes, a rather wonderful sight, even for us. If the waters are clear enough out in the open ocean, many of us head to the surface to watch when astronomical events such as this happen.”
“I think humans and non-humans can agree on that at least,” Plo chuckled softly as well, “I studied space in school a long time ago, and once wished to go, but ended up on a different path.”
Kit hummed, tail and tresses flicking as he listened. “You humans are so interesting, thinking about duties you want to do for the future, even if they don’t come to pass.”
“While you Mer live in the moment.”
The said Mer just laughed, head tossed back. “Of course,” he agreed. “Why worry over something that is uncertain, and fret over what is not there yet? The future might not come, so live as you do now and enjoy it. If you look too far to the future, you lose sight of what’s around you.”
Plo couldn’t help but smile under his mask. “Perhaps,” he agreed before the sharp sound of phone alarms going off rang out in the night. Kit made a face, shaking his head as grumbles and groans came from Plo’s children, most still half asleep in the grass.
He glanced back at them, seeing Wolffe shake the sleep from his head before lightly punching Boost and Sinker so they woke up.
Kit whistled to get his attention again and Plo turned back around as the green-skinned Mer pointed upwards. He tilted his head back, smiling again under his mask as Ahsoka let out a whoop behind him. The first of many silver streaks crossed the sky, bright and beautiful and Plo reached over to the lantern, clicking it off without a word.
“Quite a sight, isn’t it?” Kit mused, “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen one at the surface. I was down near Muunilinst last time, all the way across the ocean. It’s rather bleak there, so I’m glad I’m down over here for this one.”
Plo hummed, watching the sky still as he nodded. “It is rather beautiful. I missed the last one. Feral had been extremely ill and the Nightbrothers were staying with us until he got better.”
There was silence for a moment before another splash sounded and Plo let out a slightly disgruntled noise as he was splashed, Kit hauling himself onto the dock.
He turned to gaze at the Mer, raising a brow, and Kit just grinned before leaning forwards. A single, clawed finger hooked on the edge of his mask, pulling it down and before Plo could say anything, Kit closed the distance between them.
It wasn’t a deep kiss, not like the first time Kit had kissed him out of nowhere, but it also wasn’t playful like the quick and teasing pecks the Mer had peppered across his face while he had been slightly tipsy at Aayla’s bar.
It was nice, either way though, as Kit pulled back. “Cute.”
Plo reached up, touching his cheeks before huffing a bit and pulling his mask back up to hide his flush.
“Hush, you,” he huffed again, smacking the Mer on the arm as he laughed. That just made Kit laugh harder, tresses curling and moving in that happy way they did when he was delighted.
Plo rolled his eyes, turning his head back up to the sky as more and more meteors crossed the wide expanse. Behind him, he could hear his children talking, words of awe and wonder drifting down to the docks.
“It really is beautiful,” he murmured as Kit rested his chin on his shoulder, tresses curling and draping across the other one.
“Just like you,” the Mer teased, an equally teasing croon leaving him, and Plo bit back a laugh. The compliment was sincere, but nonetheless.
“I will push you off this dock, Kit.”
And Kit just laughed, wrapping his arms around him as the stars continued on their paths over head.
Dorin is the name that belongs to Plo's farmhouse, Data and Cable show up briefly in some of my other work and Nex and Nox showed up in the previous WPACA installment. Ghost shows up like all the time in my works hagjkfjghd. Anyways, was this the cursed one? That's for you to decide. Happy May the 4th!
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What Was Written Only To Be Undone
Fandom(s): Star Wars: The Clone Wars (03), Star Wars (Prequel Trilogy)
Summery: Voolvif Monn survived Order 66 when few others did. He didn’t expect to go to sleep in a far off planet only to wake again in the Temple.
Happy May 4th!
This is one of three fics I plan on getting out sometime today ( or like at like 2 am may 5th but yk time is weird ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) so yeah. Happy Star Wars Day and one of them is very cursed.
He had been in the Outer Rim, alone, when it hit. Order 66 that was.
Voolvif Monn knew that his solitary nature was the real reason why he had survived— there were no Clones to turn on him, and he was certain that they would have if any survived from the massacre that was the 146th near the beginning of the war.
And as the Empire rose, Voolvif remained one step ahead of it.
For years he moved through the Galaxy. Never keeping the same ship longer than he needed, never staying longer than he needed. Always one step ahead.
Ahead of Vader, ahead of the Inquisitors, ahead of the Purge, Dark, and Storm Troopers.
Eight years of running, of taking out Troopers if possible. He didn’t kill any of the Inquisitors, couldn't kill any of them— they attacked in packs with Troopers and at that point, it was more important to heed Master Kenobi’s words and get away in order to live and fight. He just wasn't strong enough anymore.
The Inquisitors were strong, they were former Jedi, after all. And he might have been a Master once, but he was being run ragged, exhausted and running, but still, but still...
But still, he escaped them— at the cost of his eye and most of his hearing once. And still, he had survived. He had fallen back on his more animalistic side, slipped in and out of Bounty Hunter Dens, and making sure to sleep in a safe yet secluded spot when he could risk rest— be it an abandoned warehouse or even among the highest branches and cliff-sides of trees and mountains.
He hadn’t expected to wake to sunlight on his face and a hard but comfortable floor under him.
He was almost instantly on high alert, rolling to his feet before he startled upon realizing that both his eyes were working.
Hesitantly (and he was always hesitant nowadays) he reached up and placed a hand over his eye, feeling for a scar— only there was none.
A pounding at his door made his ears shoot up and he called his lightsaber to his hand without a second thought. He moved from his sleeping quarters and to his door.
He opened it and almost cried upon seeing the familiar faces of his agemates, even though they hadn’t been close friends of his.
The faces of Lissarkh, who had been shot in the chest by her own men.
Of Agen Kolar who had been felled at the hands of the Sith.
Of Bultar Swan who had been killed by a fellow Jedi.
Of Sha Koon who was killed by Vader—
“Slept in late, Monn?” Agen drawled, though there was no heat to his words. Amused. And Voolvif’s mind flew backward through memories.
In the past, he would’ve taken that as an insult, his ears would’ve pinned back and teeth barely restrained from being bared in a growl. In the past, he hadn’t known what to do with these Jedi who insisted on socializing with him after they were all Knighted— Sha had been the last to be Knighted of them, him first, on the field right before his Master was killed, then Agen and Bultar. Lissarkh would follow plus one more he couldn’t quite remember, and then Sha.
Still, he wanted to cry at the familiar faces, to reach out and grasp onto them and never let go because this couldn’t be real— either he was dead as well, or this was some torturous trick from the sith.
And he wasn’t sure which one he wanted more.
Bultar reached out, pausing for a moment, allowing him the time to pull away— he had been so touch-adverse back then, he remembered— but he didn’t and she placed a hand on his arm.
“We were going to go and congratulate Aalya on getting Knighted,” she told him and he forced down another swell of emotions. “You want to come with? We were going to go down to Dex’s too.”
Aayla, who was always kind to him when he had snapped at her, when he had bared his teeth at her kindness, and pulled away from her hands when she tried to treat his injuries from Geonosis. Aayla, who was kind and had been shot over and over and over by those men who she had loved and cared for.
They were expecting an answer from him.
“Yeah,” he rasped, hooking his lightsaber onto his belt. “Yeah, that’d— that’d be nice.”
And if this was a dream, if this was his afterlife, if this was some hellish trick of the Sith… He didn’t know.
But for now, he was back, back before it all fell to hell— before the Clones, before the Fall, before the endless nights and days of being on the run, of being hunted down.
And he wanted to bask in this warmth, with these people who he had become friends with a bit too late in his life.
A gentle whisper made him turn and look over his shoulder as he followed the rest of his agemates down the hall— a slight tug on his mind and for a second he thought he saw something, heard something.
If this was a dream, he wanted to sleep a bit more.
If this was a sith trick, he wanted to be at their mercy for a bit longer.
If this was his death and afterlife, he would gladly accept it.
But on the off chance— the off chance that he was here, back in the Temple, back in time to change something…
He would gladly do it.
But for now, he wanted to rest.
So Voolvif Monn turned upon hearing Sha call for him, and followed his agemates down the hall.
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Bant: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Voolvif will and will not eat.
Sha: Grass? Yes!
Lissarkh: Moss? Yes!!
Serra: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Agen: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Anakin: Worms? Sometimes!
Bene: Rocks? Usually nah.
Ahsoka: Twigs? Usually!
Nahdar: My cooking? Inconclusive!
Aayla: How did you… test this?
Agen: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it.
Aayla: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.
Bultar: IS THAT WHERE ALL THE SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
Voolvif, in the back with a mouthful of leaves: Yes...
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Voolvif: What do I even bring to the table?
Lissarkh: That’s easy. You’re the cute one.
Lissarkh: I’m the hot one, Sha's the cool one, Agen's the chaotic one, Bultar's the responsible one, and you’re the cute one.
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Thinkin’ about Houseki no Kuni and Star Wars and rewrote some panels to fit :’)
Every character is subject to change ofc, these are just ideas and I’m not wholly satisfied with them aside from Cin as Bortz, Plo as Yellow, Mace as Jade, and Anakin as Phos. The OG Morga and Goshe were Agen and Eeth, but Motwo and Gotwo are Feral and Savage because Zabraks I guess
“Kit really admires you,” Shaak mused and Plo scoffed softly, catching the scalpel and began applying the glue in order to piece the green colored gem back together.
“I’m the one whose let everyone around me die. Master Tyvokka, Micah, Lilit, Qui-Gon... there’s nothing admirable about me. All I have are the quick reflexes that let me get away faster than anyone else. And yet here I am, the eldest of all of us. I’ll be three hundred and ninety-three this year.”
He pauses, gazing down at the green agate of the younger gem, the closed eyes and the tresses that spilt down the sides of the table.
“I can’t even remember… why I’m fighting anymore.”
It was heartbreaking but a very real realization that came upon them. Cin was shattered, broken to pieces by their own sibling and the both of them laying in pieces in the fields.
And now Sha was before them. She had changed, they all knew this side of her, but she had since locked it away— but now? She was freely using it. Behind her was Aayla.
Bultar and Serra didn't even have time to move before Sha's blade pierced them both through the middle, lifting them off their feet and then she swung. The two were shattered in half, and Bultar's knee slammed into Bene's face, shattering her as well.
"Sha! Stop!" Obi-Wan's cry fell on deaf ears, and four others struck. Brave, brave souls— Lissarkh, Feral, Kit, and Adi.
Sha, though, she made such quick work of them and Obi-Wan knew that Shaak Ti would not move from her spot by Saesee's body. Both Scout and Whie didn't even have time to move, both begging the elder gem to stop only to get severed in half as well as Aayla grabbed onto the chain that was attached to the collar around Sha's neck.
And then it was just him and Voolvif. Voolvif with his blade ready, eyes unreadable and—
"I never..." Aayla was gazing at Voolvif. "Told you this but! I never liked how I never knew what you were thinking! It's like you were looking down on me!"
Sha was still relentless, destroying a pillar for no real reason.
"But!" Aayla tugged, feet planted as cracks began to appear on Sha's neck. "You need to get out of here!"
And with another sharp tug, she broke through the other's neck, but still, it was for naught. Sha's sword was still in mid swing, and Voolvif as bisected from the shoulders up. Her head flew back, slamming into Aayla, and Obi-wan watched as Aayla's shattered as well.
And then it was only Obi-Wan.
Anakin— no, Obi-Wan supposed he would be Vader now— gazed down at him. He could feel the burning gaze on him as he bowed, hands braced on the stone, head bowed.
"Please make the arrangements, I'm certain if you take me to [the Sith] we can come to an agreement. No one but you can do it."
There was silence. "You need me?"
Vader's voice was rough, low, and Obi-Wan lifted his head.
Vader gazed down at him for a moment. two. three.
Then, the last sensation Obi-Wan felt was the feeling of Vader's blade cleaving his neck from his shoulders— no, that wasn't quite it.
The last thing he felt before darkness took over was the feeling of his head breaking apart as he hit the ground.
"I dont need," Vader hissed. "Anyone at all."
Perhaps it was only fair, karma, for how he had been. Mace realized this easily, as Vader held him by the throat up against a pillar. His body had been shattered, violet shards of sapphire decorating the hall.
"I'm sorry that..." he murmured, gazing down at the once bright child. "I was never able to understand you."
Vader's grip on his neck tightened before a crack split across Mace's face and he felt his neck break from the rest of his body before Vader let him go.
"Huh?" he heard Vader mutter as darkness consumed him. "What are you even talking about?"
idk if you have questions for whatever this is just ask
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Anakin: I'm just laying out a little sugar to catch a snake
Aayla: Flies. Sugar catches Flies.
Serra: What catches snakes?
Bultar: Gotta use a snake trap.
Lissarkh: No you gotta use one of those metal sticks with a grabber at the end
Sha: My uncle uses those to get cereal down from the cupboard
Nahdar: Why are there snakes in Master Plo's cereal?
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Bultar: The Negotiator had a lot of ups and downs. May he rest in peace.
Lissarkh: Master Kenobi died?
Bultar: Not yet.
Bultar: But he ruined another one of Madame Nu's books. We all know how that's going to end.
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Anakin: Okay, maybe playing ‘whose lineage is the most disastrous’ wasn’t the greatest idea we’ve had so far.
Anakin: I mean sure, we won but there were consequences we didn’t account for. Not our greatest idea.
Obi-Wan: Anakin, that's an understatement! Plo's been crying in the 'fresher for an hour! We can’t get him out, Bultar and Lissarkh aren't even trying to help us get him out!
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Lissarkh: *in lightsaber practice* It’s just a flesh wound!
Sha: A flesh wound? Your arm’s off!
Submitted by: @hannagoldworthy
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(Oh, we are COOKING, baby! This is the sequel to AWOL. I tried to be a little clever with the 'Previously On' segment, but this has been done a great deal. Our protagonists will return properly in the next segment, but for now, the Council has to do some quick catching-up.)
What follows is a transcription of the holo-file and notes of Master Adi Gallia, acting Council Recorder for the matter of the desertion of Jedi Knight and Healer Barriss Offee, and everything that transpired thereafter. For purposes of a linear timeline of events, eyewitness testimony has been cut together from different parts of the day: Clan Crystal Snake was interviewed in the morning and Professor Huyang just before noon, followed by Padawans Tano and Syndulla with their respective Masters in the afternoon and Master Unduli and Clone Commander Gree in the evening. Hyperlinks to referenced reports in italics and parentheses as per protocol. Translation from Shyriiwook and Ithorian provided by Master Plo Koon.
Master Mace Windu: You served with General Offee during her last months as a Padawan learner, correct? We’re given to understand your relationship was…somewhat close.
Gree: I assure you, sir, that our relationship was strictly professional.
Master Shaak Ti: Be at ease, Commander Gree. We are not going to censure you for personal feelings.
Gree: Are you getting this impression from a complaint from General Mara? Because he was mistaken about my relationship with General Offee. (Link to Tutso Mara’s report here – volume warning for headphone users)
Gree: Let me state for the record, sir, since this rumor has been making the rounds in the barracks and likely in your Temple. My relationship with Barriss Offee was parental, not romantic. We were on a first-name basis in private, but strictly professional in front of the men. Her disappearance struck me as irregular, given similar disappearances of young Jedi in the past, so I continued to look for her after she was declared Missing in Action. I understand that it was disobeying orders –
Windu: You had reason to continue looking, Commander. You are not on trial for having good instincts; we are just trying to piece together what happened.
Gree: Right sir. Well, I discovered, after some research, that General Offee had had a number of prisoners of war in her care during the battle. The Umbaran military complex had been pumping their soldiers full of an aerosolized methamphetamine made from a native plant, and when they were captured, their supply of the drug was cut off, and they started to experience severe withdrawal symptoms, a disturbing amount of which resulted in death. (Link to final mission reports by Generals Mara and Offee)
Windu: And you believe that that was Offee’s motivation behind her desertion?
Gree: I believe it was one motivation, sir.
Master Lissarkh: The Commander came to me because, at the beginning of the investigation, he believed Offee might have been kidnapped by my people for the purpose of ritual hunting. You have my mission report on the investigation my Padawan and I conducted into the matter. (Indeed we do. Warning: gore)
Master Ki-Adi-Mundi:And once you eliminated that possibility, you did not consider the matter settled?
Lissarkh: I was not in a position to have an opinion, as I was locked in the infirmary to regenerate my left arm – my non-dominant arm, I might add, which I have regenerated plenty of times with simple bed rest and without the need to report to any power-hungry Healers in order to take a-
Master Adi Gallia: Your opinion on that particular protocol has been made (well known), Master. Let us stick to this particular briefing, hm?
Lissarkh: Good Force, who let Adi have the recorder?
Ti: She won it from me by beating me in a racing holo-game.
Lissarkh: That explains a great deal about what you people do in these chairs all day.
Mundi: If we can continue with the matter at hand? Your Padawan continued to work with Commander Gree after your hospitalization-
Lissarkh: Prison sentence.
Padawan Jacen Syndulla: -Masters, I kept in touch with Commander Gree. He was doing his own investigation, and I offered my services to help, but in the end an informant responded to his advertisement regarding Offee’s location. And we reported that information to Master Kenobi as soon as possible. It was all very boring in the end and we never left Coruscant or did anything drastic.
Master Obi-Wan Kenobi:When Gree and Jinx showed up at my doorstep informing me that Barriss had been seen in the company of Savage Opress, I had to act. I informed you of the shadow that had been growing on my mind, Master Yoda.
Master Yoda: You did…and the same feeling had I. The enemy you had defeated on Naboo was still alive somehow.
Kenobi: Yes, and Opress was his brother.
Windu: You are certain of that?
Kenobi: I can recount every detail of Darth Maul’s face, mannerisms, fighting style, what have you, and Opress, in every encounter I had with him, bore an uncanny resemblance. Even before I (spoke with the Nightsisters), I would have wagered my life that they were related. If Barriss was in contact with Opress, I had every reason to believe she was in very grave danger, and that danger would reach the Order eventually. So, I acted. I withdrew from the mission to Onderon, mustered my men, and asked Masters Lissarkh and Unduli to accompany me with their own legions to Florrum, where they had last been seen. Hondo Ohnaka confirmed the presence of two Zabrak men, but had not seen Barriss.
Master Unduli: But I had enough evidence to hunt down an associate of our anonymous informant, Miss Latts Razzi, whom I had previous contact with in (my time) (as a peacekeeper) (just after my Knighting). She would not identify her associate, but she confirmed that the two of them had indeed seen Barriss in the brothers’ company.
Kenobi: After that, it was a waiting game; neither Ohnaka nor Razzi knew where they had gone. Lissarkh had a suspicion that they might turn up at the brothers’ home planet, Dathomir, which is in Mandalorian space, so I spoke with Duchess Kryze to obtain permission for Anakin to search in the vicinity as long as he minded his manners.
Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker:Talking to the Nightbrothers was about as useful as shaving a bantha, Hondo Ohnaka was breathing down my neck in the hopes of looting the Nightsister’s village, the bats were the size of Jabba the Hutt and twice as mean, the targets got away and somehow managed to pick up two more prisoners in the process, and the karking witch ghosts nearly buried me and my men.
Mundi: Language, young Skywalker.
Yoda: No, dealt with ghosts in the past I have. Karking, an inadequate adjective, it is. Try-
Lissarkh: When the Opress brothers escaped Skywalker on Dathomir, the search hit a dead end. We were getting nowhere fast, so we proceeded with a local campaign dispersing the remaining scattered cells of Zygerrian slavers surrounding the I-Sector, in hopes they’d turn up again.
Syndulla: And I was bored out of my skull, so when Padawan Tano requested me as a back-up chaperone for a group of younglings making the Gathering, I agreed to go along.
Yoda: Bored out of your skull you were not on Ilum, hmm?
Padawan Ahsoka Tano: He likes to climb the statues.
Yoda: Climb the statues he did not this time. Talked with you the whole time he did. Emhmhmhmhm…
Skywalker: He did, did he?
Syndulla: She wanted me to catch her up on the search for Offee, since she had been on Onderon for most of the search. (Link to Tano’s mission report here)
Tano: The rest of the mission that went as planned was fairly routine up until Hondo Ohnaka decided to raid our ship and steal our Ilum crystals.
Skywalker: While we’re here, anyone care to venture a reason why he risked injuring Jedi children so soon after he helped us on Onderon? Obi-Wan?
Kenobi: The best I can guess, he was trying to get in Dooku’s better graces because most of the sector was under Separatist control at the time, and Dooku was still harboring a grudge from when Ohnaka captured him that first time. (Link to the previous mission reports by Kenobi and Skywalker – warning for conflicting information) Raiding a ship full to the brim with rare materials used in the art of lightsaber crafting and guarded only by an ancient protocol droid and eight children would probably have seemed like an easy way to seem unbiased and make a little cash on the side.
Skywalker: He wasn’t counting on running into Ahsoka, though.
Tano: Or Jinx, Master. Not that it mattered; we both ended up captured. When we awoke in his lair, Barriss was already imprisoned there with us. He said he’d ‘rescued’ her from some monster trying to eat her, but that he intended to sell her to the Separatists still around Mirial for the active bounty on Mirialans there was at the time.
Syndulla: And he intended to sell us two Padawans directly to Dooku.
Kenobi: I thought that had been his goal…he told me that he took you away from some competitors who intended to do just that, but he didn’t have and still doesn’t have any real competitors in that region.
Skywalker: You should have let Cody and his men run rampant.
Kenobi: Business before pleasure, I’m afraid. I could only spare enough time to inquire about the Padawans’ and younglings’ safety. And that was when I learned that Maul had not only undergone treatment to regrow his legs; he’d infiltrated the compound in the company of a young Nightsister under assumed names to recover young Offee.
Syndulla: When the Crucible was wrecked in front of us, we went with Maul and Merrin into the stolen turtle tanker freighter.
Skywalker: Why on all the worlds would you-
Tano: It was either that or fight the pirates ourselves when we were outnumbered three to one and our group was largely comprised of pre-adolescents. We made a choice to survive, Master.
Skywalker: You deliberately went with a confirmed Sith Lord and his immediate family, to survive?
Crystal Snake Clan Initiates’ names redacted for their privacy as they were un-apprenticed at this time this was recorded.
Corellian: Merrin was awesome! She waved her hand and turned some guy inside out! By accident!
Tholothian: You aren’t supposed to enjoy someone’s death, [Corellian]. It’s not the Jedi way!
Corellian: You liked her too, [Tholothian]. Didn’t she let you and [Rodian] braid her hair?
Master Plo Koon: We will have to speak about this matter further at a later time, children. We were more interested in your treatment by the clan of Dathomirians who took you in for a week or so.
Nautolan: Well, Mister Savage looked really scary, but he was actually very nice.
Ithorian: Yeah, he made us hot chocolate!
Wookiee: And went fishing with us!
Rodian: And let us bury him into the sand and turn him into a Melodie sculpture!
Nautolan: Really, the only time he even seemed worried was if we jostled his brother, Mister Feral.
Ithorian: Yeah, Mister Feral was quad-rip-le-gic when we arrived. But, Master Offee healed him as soon as we landed on Mirial, so he was still learning to walk around.
Wookiee: Mister Feral was very nice, too. He’d only just left his homeworld, so he was very confused, and very careful, but he sang the best lullabies.
Koon: And what about Maul?
Tholothian: We didn’t really see much of him. He hung back, and didn’t really talk a lot.
Professor Huyang: No, they are not the ‘Brothers Opress’. That name was a title bestowed upon Savage, and he has since repudiated it; something to do with a previous, unhappy marriage. For now, the only one who had any other title was Darth Maul, and even he did not associate with me or with the children enough to allow us opportunity to use it.
Yoda: Pose any threat to the children, did he?
Huyang: Not that I could see, though my senses are quite diminished as compared to yours, young Master Yoda. Some interesting perspectives on lightsaber-making, had he, but other than that he was content to simply watch. Little [Rodian] could probably give you a detailed emotional analysis, but alas, my programming extends not that far.
Yoda: [Rodian] certainly had some…opinions…
[Rodian]: Yeah, Mister Maul made eyes at Healer Offee more than [Corellian] makes eyes at [Tholothian].
[Rodian]: Anyway, Barriss never really seemed to notice him looking at her. And good for her…if it’s true that she left the Order, she can do so much better.
Syndulla: I had an opportunity to speak privately with Maul, and I sensed a great deal of loneliness. He had the feel of someone who had been isolated for a very long time; he almost reminded me of my former comrade, Kalifa.
Tano: That sleemo is nothing like Kalifa.
Syndulla: Well, you knew Kalifa after she had been basically forced to have companions for almost two years. When I met her, she’d been alone for a long time, and she didn’t know how to really talk with people anymore. She had to be coaxed into talking to us like some sort of wild tooka, and even then she was gruff. And that was Maul, to put it succinctly. The man could interact with his siblings, and with Barriss, but he looked at us like we were puzzles to be solved.
Tano: Well, he certainly managed to solve Barriss’s puzzle pretty quickly.
Kenobi: Don’t mutter, Ahsoka…what do you mean?
Tano: Oh, I just found the two of them in the middle of ‘tender negotiations’ when I was looking for the refresher.
Tano: Sorry, Masters, I used a rather obscure lineage metaphor. From what I saw, Barriss and Maul were clearly emotionally attached, and likely physically involved on top of that.
Syndulla: So that’s why he wasn’t wearing a shirt.
Tano: When I confronted her on the matter, Barriss defined their relationship in terms of marriage.
Gallia’s note: here the recording falls silent, as those present seemed unsure of what to say to that, myself included. Master Kenobi broke a pause in conversation that lasted at least a minute.
Windu: Care to explain your rather…unconventional reaction to this news, Master Kenobi?
Skywalker: YEAH MASTER CARE TO EXPLAIN?!?
Kenobi: Anakin I’m right in front of you, don’t shout…
Skywalker: MY POOR, INNOCENT PADAWAN HAD TO WATCH HER BEST FRIEND AND SOME RANDO SITH THUG GOING AT IT, AND YOU SAY ‘AWWW’?!?!
Kenobi: I am a sucker for a good love story, and you know this, Anakin. It’s nice to see that the two found some common ground…
Skywalker: COMMON GR-no, you know what? Frotz this. Ahsoka needs trauma therapy. Obi-Wan needs medication. And I need some kriffing brain bleach, because that is an image nobody should ever have to even imagine, thank you very much. Come on, Ahsoka, we’re done here.
Windu: No, we are not-Skywalker!
Koon: No, Mace, he’s right. Ahsoka’s been through a lot. Let them go.
Lissarkh: Stang, and I thought my heat cycles were wild.
Syndulla: Master, please don’t make this any worse than it is…
Koon: Is there much else to report after the events Ahsoka described?
Syndulla: No. The attack on Mirial started during their confrontation, and the Zabrak clan decided to leave us behind when it was clear the Jedi were going to come looking. They found a tent and set it up on the beach, and the younglings went back to sleep in there; then they left, and Barriss chose to stay with them.
Koon: Then, I think you and your Master have had a long enough day as well. Get some rest. You’ve earned it. And Liz, quit chewing on your hangnail, you’re going to infect it.
Lissarkh: Master…I’m forty.
Windu: Luminara, we learned some news that might disturb you…
Unduli: Oh, you’re using my first name; that must mean you’re trying to break Barriss’s marriage to me gently.
Windu: She informed you?
Unduli: Not in as many words, but, yes.
Windu: Then you realize that you will likely have to fight against her when Darth Maul decides to make some sort of move in the war.
Unduli: I am aware of the potential conflict of interest, Mace. I am at the Council’s service, should you wish to reassign me elsewhere or appoint another Master who hasn’t this grievous conflict of interest.
Windu: That’s not going to be necessary, Luminara. Barriss has made a foolish decision, but you could talk her away from it, given the appropriate chance. We just wanted to make sure you knew she is legally married to a Sith Lord.
Unduli: …I’m sorry…who?
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Nahdar, texting the Knight Comm Chat: Hey, can lizards be stopped?
Lissarkh: short answer? no
Aayla: What is the long answer?
Lissarkh: definitely not.
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Agen: Our Crèche group has had its fair share of tussles before.
Voolvif: Like the mushroom?
Sha: Those are truffles.
Lissarkh: Like the sprout?
Bultar: Those are brussels.
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Bultar, walking over after a fight: Hey, I was just gonna to see if you needed any help, but you seem good. Gonna go and pick up some dinner, send me a com message with what you want?
Lissarkh: Oh wait, if you're going to be near Coco town, get me whatever Dex has for his special.
Bultar: Yeah, but I just said... just send me a com.
Lissarkh: But you’re right here?
Bultar: Yeah, but I'm not gonna remember it, and then you won't like what I get you and then you'er gonna want some of mine or like, Voolvif's. Just— Just sent me a com message!
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now as total mood whiplash from the last post:
thinkin about not just Plo but all the Jedi in dresses just vibing in a meadow or some shit. Not even fancy dresses. Just dresses. in a meadow. Having fun. Making flower crowns. taking naps. throwing grass and petals at one another. watching ants. padawans cartwheeling and rolling down a hill.
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