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mind-empty-just-fictional-people · 8 months

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Love Language

masterlist

summary: you’ve never said it, neither has he…is that weird?

paring: dean winchester x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 0.6k

warnings: language, not being able to say “i love you”, talk of sex

author’s note: i always found it interesting dean never told lisa he loved her…like ever. which is strange to me, considering how long they were together?

gif source

Three whole years you’d been with Dean, and neither of you saw an end anywhere in sight. You had grown up a hunter and you’d hit it off with Dean almost instantly when you had met him about five years ago. What started off as a wholesome friendship became deeper and more passionate after a night of drinking.

He cared about you so fucking much, you cared about him too. You were deeply in love. But neither of you had ever actually said love.

It was beginning to really bother you. Why hadn’t he said it? Every other relationship you had up until now had imploded long before the three-year-mark because of your inability to say the three big words.

Did Dean not love you? Maybe that’s why he hadn’t said it yet. You knew you felt that way about him, that you L-worded him, but maybe he didn’t feel the same way.

“You okay?” Dean asked when he looked up from the lore book he was reading and was met with your blank stare.

“Yeah…just thinking.”

“About?”

“Do you think it’s weird we haven’t said you-know-what to each other yet?” you asked. He furrowed his brows before he realized what you meant.

“Oh…no? No, definitely not.”

“Dean,” you sighed, closing the book in front of you. “I care about you so much it’s fucking insane but-”

“Right back at ‘cha! Let’s just leave it at that,” he cut you off.

“But, isn’t it strange we can’t say you-know-what? I mean I’d fucking die for you and I can’t say the three words? That’s fuckin’ weird!”

“To be fair, you have died for me. Like twice now,” he replied, trying to lighten the mood. You smiled a little. “And maybe we haven’t said the words but we’ve done other things.”

“If you’re talking about sex right now I swear to god-”

“No!” he chuckled. “I’m talking about that time you jumped in front of a bullet for me. I’m talking about when you were dying in my arms and I made a deal with Crowley to save you. I’m talking about how you bring me chicken noodle soup when I’m sick and force me to stay in bed till I’m feeling better. I’m talking about how many times I’ve bought you tampons and pads and chocolates so you didn’t have to leave the bunker when you were on your period.

“I’m talking about letting you drive Baby, I’m talking about you letting me use your precious espresso machine. I’m talking about the way I look at you when you aren’t looking, and the way you laugh at my clearly un-funny jokes. I’m talking about holding you when you cry and bringing you breakfast in bed. I’m talking about you letting me sleep on your boobs because they’re more comfortable than our pillows even though I know you’re sore in the morning.”

You let out a laugh and slightly rolled your eyes, though you were swelling inside. Dean smiled as he continued.

“I’m talking about those three words that we don’t even have to say because we prove to eachother we feel it every fucking day.”

“God damn it Dean Winchester!” You shook your head, still smiling. You got off the chair, walked around the table, and sat down in his lap. You put your hands on his face and kissed him sweetly. “You mean everything to me, you know that?”

“I do,” he whispered as you rested your forehead on his. “Do you know how much you mean to me?” You nodded. “See, then I think that’s enough.”

“Me too,” you replied before you kissed him again.

#spn #dean x reader #supernatural #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester #dean winchester comfort #dean winchester x you #supernatural fluff #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #by mind empty just fictional people #by mind empty just fictional people #by jean

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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 2 months

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Daddy’s Girl

Dean Winchester & daughter!reader

Synopsis: your life growing up as Dean’s daughter (ignores cannon)

You were born of Dean’s short-lived relationship with Lisa. When he was forced to leave his family behind to keep them safe, he was also forced to take you with him. He’d wanted to leave you, to keep you safe, but with Lisa and Ben’s memories wiped of him, you got wiped with him.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel said as Dean held you in his arms. “There’s no way to erase you without erasing her, too.”

Despite how much Dean wanted to keep you safe, he couldn’t find it in himself to regret how things turned out.

…

Sam pursed his lips, and Dean couldn’t hold back his laugh when he spotted his brother covered in broccoli.

You started giggling when you noticed your father’s smile, but Dean clamped his mouth shut when he saw you laughing.

“Hey now,” he scolded, trying desperately to look stern despite still being able to see the broccoli in Sam’s hair. “Don’t throw food.”

“Is yucky!” You whined, kicking your feet.

Dean gave you his signature ‘dad glare’ and you gave him the puppy eyes that he was convinced Sammy taught you just to drive him nuts.

Neither of you were willing to give in, far too stubborn for anyone’s good. Finally, Sam broke the awkward silence.

“How about we try a new veggie?”

…

“What are you watching?”

Dean tore his eyes away from the screen to see Sam standing in the doorway.

“Saw, why?”

Sam scoffed, “Do you think she’s old enough for that?” He gestured to five-year-old you, curled up in your dad’s arms.

“She’s out like a light, she has no clue what’s going on,” Dean assured him.

“So what, she’s your new stuffed animal?” Sam chuckled.

“It’s called parenting, Sammy. Now shut up, you’re gonna wake her up.”

…

“Daddy, look!”

Dean rubbed his hands over his face, closing the lore book in front of him when you came bounding into the war room.

“Hey baby, what’s up?” He asked, his voice thick with exhaustion as he lifted you into his lap.

“I maked the Impala,” you grinned, showing off a pencil sketch of Baby colored in with a black crayon. “Uncle Sammy only helped a little.”

Dean could tell from the detail of the drawing that Sam helped more than a little, but he didn’t care.

“This is great!” He praised. “Baby would be so proud, looks almost as good as her.”

You giggled. “Can I hang it on the fridge?”

“I think it’d be a crime if we didn’t,” Dean insisted, standing up with you in his arms so he could carry you to the kitchen.

…

“Dad!”

Dean staggered back in surprise when ten-year-old you launched yourself into his arms the moment he stepped into the bunker.

“Hey kid,” he chuckled, but his smile dropped when he noticed your strangled breaths, and how tightly you were clinging to him. “You ok? We weren’t gone that lon-“

“Someone’s in the bunker,” you whispered, and Dean now also noticed that you were shaking.

“What?” He demanded, lowering you to the ground and grabbing his gun with one hand, keeping his other hand on your shoulder protectively.

“I-I heard footsteps,” you stammered, still trying to catch your breath. “So I ran, and-and I was looking for a place to hide when you opened the door.”

“You’re sure it was footsteps?”

“I know what I heard!” Your stammer left you when your fear turned to annoyance.

“Ok, ok,” Dean soothed. “I believe you. Now, I want you to go and hide in my room, ok? Stay there, and don’t open the door unless it’s me, understand?”

“B-but…” you glanced around nervously, unwilling to let go of your father.

“I need you to do this,” Dean said. “I need you safe, ok? You’re gonna be fine.”

You nodded, but Dean’s jacket was still clenched between your fingers.

“C’mon now, go!” Dean gave your arm a gentle push, and as soon as the two of you were no longer touching you seemed spurned into action. You ran in the other direction, headed straight for your dad’s room.

Once the door was closed and locked behind you, you immediately went to sit on Dean’s bed, your arms wrapped around your knees as you tried hard to stop your trembling.

You assured yourself over and over again that your dad would take care of it; he’d get the intruder out, and it would all be ok. When you heard footsteps echoing through the hall, your heart lifted, sure that your dad was coming to get you.

But then the doorknob jiggled as someone tried to open it. It stopped, but still no knock came, no “hey, it’s me,” from Dean; nothing.

Until with a loud bang! the door flew free of its hinges.

You scrambled back with a cry of surprise, and your hand found something hard under Dean’s pillow. You snatched it up as the intruder—a tall man with blond hair and a dark suit—stalked towards you.

You lifted the object, surprised when you saw that it was Dean’s gun.

“St-stay back!” You warned. The man hesitated for only a second before continuing his advance towards you.

“You don’t have the guts,” he scoffed. He took one more step—he was only a couple of feet away—and reached out to grab you.

The gun kicked back in your hands as you fired, and you nearly dropped it. A look of morbid shock crossed the man’s face, but it only lasted for a brief second as he slumped to the ground at the side of Dean’s bed.

Your whole body was shaking. Your hands didn’t seem able to let go of the gun. You could feel blood on your face where it had splattered.

“Sweetheart?”

Your whole body flinched at the sound of your father’s voice. He was in the center of the room—you hadn’t even noticed him come in—and his hands were held out towards you.

“Sweetheart, give me the gun.”

Your hands went limp when Dean grabbed the gun. He tossed it onto his bed, his attention never leaving your face, which was turned towards the dead man on the floor.

“Hey, Y/N, look at me,” Dean demanded. Your eyes slowly found your father’s, afraid of what you might find there. But there was no anger, or judgment, not even surprise. There was only comfort, maybe a little worry.

“Let’s go,” Dean said, lifting you into his arms. When he saw you staring at the dead man, he cradled the back of your head in his hand and pushed your face against his shoulder as he carried you out of the room.

“I killed him.”

Your voice came out muffled against Dean’s shirt, and Dean’s heart constricted at the quaver in your voice.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he soothed, subconsciously rocking you in his arms like he used to do when you could barely crawl. “He was gonna hurt you, you defended yourself. You did nothing wrong.” Dean sighed. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I didn’t want you to have to do that.”

“I killed somebody,” you said again, and Dean’s arms tightened around you. He knew he couldn’t talk you out of this; not yet, you were still in shock. So he’d do the only thing he could.

“It’s gonna be ok, baby,” he soothed. “I promise.”

…

“Where is that girl?”

“You lookin for Y/N?” Sam asked as Dean wandered around the bunker.

“Unless we’ve got another girl living here I don’t know about,” Dean shot back.

Sam just rolled his eyes.

“She’s in the library doing homework.”

“Again?” Dean shook his head. “I think I’ve let her spend too much time with you, she’s becoming quite the nerd.”

“Don’t look at me,” Sam chuckled. “I told her to take a break like an hour ago. That nerdy behavior is all her.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Dean closed the book in front of Sam. “You both need a break.”

“Ok,” Sam shrugged. “Good luck, she’s just as stubborn as you.”

“We’ll see.”

…

“Hey!” You yelped in surprise when your dad lifted you up and out of your chair, Sam watching from the doorway with a grin on his face.

“No more books, you two have spent too much time being nerds this week.”

“But I have a paper to write!”

“You mean that paper you told me is due in three weeks?”

“Well…”

“Uh huh,” Dean said. “You’ve got time, so take a break.”

“On one condition; we watch Lord of the Rings.”

“Sounds good to me,” Sam cut in.

“Oh come on,” Dean groaned. “Could you two be bigger nerds?”

“Don’t pretend that you don’t want to watch it,” you giggled, trying to squirm out of Dean’s hold since he still hadn’t put you down.

“I don’t remember asking for your input,” Dean huffed, setting you down on your bed and digging his fingers into your stomach. You squealed in surprise as your dad tickled you. “And I certainly didn’t ask for your sass!”

“Who-who do you thin-think taught it to me!” You giggled, squirming as Dean didn’t let up.

“Hey now!” Dean scoffed. “Now you’re just asking for it.”

Dean continued to scratch and poke at your sides, your stomach, and your neck until your face was bright red and your laughter was silent.

“Alright, let’s go,” Dean said as he let up, slinging you over his shoulder and making his way towards the Dean cave, Sam following behind.

“Yo-hou’re mean,” you giggled.

Dean just chuckled.

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl

#dean winchester #dean and sam #the winchesters #dean winchester x reader #supernatural dean #dean winchester x you #winchesters x reader #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #dean winchester x daughter!reader #sam winchester x niece!reader

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bookofthegear · 3 months

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You follow the sound of buzzing and are amused to see the hobo sign for “bad tempered owner” chalked on the doorway. Then you step inside.

…whoa.

Jimmy said “clockwork bees” and it’s not that you doubted him, but that was like describing the Mona Lisa as “some paint on wood.” The bees gleam in the lantern light, striped with oiled bronze and shining brass, their eyes like beautifully faceted gems. And they fly! How can they fly? They’re far too heavy, surely, the internal workings must be full of gears and tiny mechanisms. Nevertheless they fly.

It’s not that you weren’t impressed with the labyrinth, but it’s mostly just looked like a bunker with gears and a few impressively dead guys. This, though…this is something.

You stand very still, admiring the huge mass of honeycomb that drapes across the enormous gears, and the honey gone red and black with age. You could sell a pound of that honey for a small fortune to the right collector. The money should just about cover your funeral expenses, because the bees will absolutely murder the fuck out of you.

Ah, well. Stealing a “live” bee is probably right out as well. You really would rather not add to Jimmy’s therapy bill. You take a last appreciative look at the graceful flight of the mechanical insects, then step back into the hall.

#choose your own adventure #t kingfisher #ursula vernon #book of the gear

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batboyblog · 15 days

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My Super Gay/Queer Reading List

The Long Run by James Acker

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

Another Dimension of Us by Mike Albo

Wonders of the Invisible World by Christopher Barzak

Alan Cole Is Not a Coward by Eric Bell

Alan Cole Doesn’t Dance by Eric Bell

The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan

Felix Yz by Lisa Bunker

Last Bus to Everland by Sophie Cameron

Dragging Mason County by Curtis Campbell

The House of Impossible Beauties by Joseph Cassara

Peter Darling by Austin Chant

Carry the Ocean by Heidi Cullinan

The Love Interest by Cale Dietrich

Half Bad by Sally Green

Half Wild by Sally Green

Half Lost by Sally Green

Heartbreak Boys by Simon James Green

Gay Club by Simon James Green

You’re the One That I Want by Simon James Green

We Contain Multitudes by Sarah Henstra

Totally Joe by James Howe

After School Activities by Dirk Hunter

At the Edge of the Universe by Shaun David Hutchinson

The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried by Shaun David Hutchinson

We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson

The Five Stages of Andrew Brawley by Shaun David Hutchinson

A Complicated Love Story Set in Space by Shaun David Hutchinson

The Boy Who Couldn’t Fly Straight by Jeff Jacobson

Haffling by Caleb James

The Lightning-Struck Heart by T.J. Klune

A Destiny of Dragons by T.J. Klune

The Consumption of Magic by T.J. Klune

A Wish Upon the Stars by T.J. Klune

The Extraordinaries by T.J. Klune

Flash Fire by T.J. Klune

Heat Wave by T.J. Klune

The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune

Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg

The Bridge by Bill Konigsberg

Destination Unknown by Bill Konigsberg

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan

Every Day by David Levithan

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

Ryan and Avery by David Levithan

How to Repair a Mechanical Heart by J.C. Lillis

Take a Bow, Noah Mitchell by Tobias Madden

When Ryan Came Back by Devon McCormack

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

Fraternity by Andy Mientus

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

The Art of Starving by Sam J. Miller

Hero by Perry Moore

I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

More Than This by Patrick Ness

Junior Hero Blues by J.K. Pendragon

The City Beautiful by Aden Polydoros

When Everything Feels Like the Movies by Raziel Reid

Kens by Raziel Reid

Emmett by Lev A.C. Rosen

Jack of Hearts by Lev A.C. Rosen

Camp by Lev A.C. Rosen

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell

Rainbow Boys by Alex Sanchez

Rainbow High by Alex Sanchez

Rainbow Road by Alex Sanchez

So Hard to Say by Alex Sanchez

The 99 Boyfriends of Micah Summers by Adam Sass

The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer

All Kinds of Other by James Sie

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera

Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith

Freak Show by James St. James

Ray of Sunlight by Brynn Stein

The Dangerous Art of Blending In by Angelo Surmelis

366 Days by Kiyoshi Tanaka

The Language of Seabirds by Will Taylor

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

Wild and Crooked by Leah Thomas

Because You’ll Never Meet Me by Leah Thomas

Spin Me Right Round by David Valdes

Always the Almost by Edward Underhill

Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

Tumblr got rid of yellow so I couldn't do pride colors, sorry!

If you want help picking something out just send me an ask with what kind of thing you're looking for and I'll select something for you, and if you end up reading something because you saw this list, please let me know

#books #reading #book list #gay books #queer books #queer lit #red white and royal blue #love simon #Carry On

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transbookoftheday · 1 year

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Joy, to the World by Kai Shappley and Lisa Bunker

A young Dumplin’ meets Melissa in this joyful and energetic middle grade novel about a twelve-year-old girl living her life to the fullest, celebrating her love for sports and fighting for her right to cheer.

Joy, a twelve-year-old trans girl, just moved to Texas with her mother and older brother. Her family has accepted Joy as the girl she is early in her transition, with little fuss, leaving Joy to explore her love of sports, competition, teamwork, school spirit, and worship.

But when she is told she’s off the cheerleading team, Joy wants to fight for her right to cheer. As her battle with the school board picks up momentum, Joy attracts support from kids all around the country . . . she even gets the attention of her hero, trans activist Kai Shappley.

Inspired by Kai’s own life, Joy, to the World is a timely story of living life to the fullest, celebrating and centering trans joy, courage, and resilience.

#joy to the world #kai shappley #lisa bunker #transfem #trans book of the day #trans books #queer books #bookblr #booklr

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tiredofthehumanlife · 1 month

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Evangeline

Barbie dolls: dean Winchester x fem!you

Summary : basically the Lisa plot but like not though you hid your baby from Dean for years before being like “hey check out this kid we made”

Warnings: pregnancy, birth described by a person who has only watched like three birth videos, talks of religion? This is supernatural the last like eight seasons are about god come on guys, I named the kid sorry, not the kids name is sorry like you get it, it’s fem reader I’m sorry, um so much dialogue oh my god these bitches don’t shut up, happish ending but majority pained Dean, I think that’s it

Request: no. Also my inbox is open guys

You hunted with the Winchester boys for years. You loved them both very much and trusted them with your life. You knew if anything ever happened they’d be there, and vice versa. Throughout the years, your feelings for Dean blossomed into something more than friendship. Maybe it was his incessant flirting, which you returned. Maybe it was his car. Maybe it was just him. Anyway you were certain Dean didn’t like you in the same way. He was just a flirtatious person. You were 100% positive on this conclusion until you both went on a hunt alone. Which wasn’t new, but what was new was the tension. Dean got himself into trouble as usual and you saved him as usual. Only this time he seemed to be reminded how short life truly was. So he told you how all these years he was yearning for you. You were shocked. Dean was worried he had just ruined everything. You told him you felt the exact same way. So of course you both spent the entire night wrapped up in each other. You were mindful of each other’s new wounds. It was a beautiful night. Though you slightly regretted it weeks later.

You found out you were pregnant. You knew Dean wasn’t prepared. You weren’t sure if he ever would be. Dean drank, he spent most of his time working on his car, he barely knew your favorite color, he was quite immature, and he killed monsters for a living. Which you did too but that’s not the point. So you decided not to tell him. In fact the only person you told was Bobby. When you told him he called you idgit and asked if either of ever heard of a condom. To which you replied something along the lines of we didn’t plan it out. Which caused Bobby to tell you the next time he saw Dean he was knocking him out. He asked you what you thought about doing. You explained to him your plan.

You’d go into hiding for about a year, have the baby alone.Then you’d come out of hiding, find a job, a simple home. Raise your child alone. By the time for kindergarten every hunter would’ve forgotten about you. The boys would probably come across an old photo and think I wonder whatever happened to them and move onto the next photo. You’d become an empty guest room in the bunker, an odd mug in the cabinet, a forgotten note in the margin of a book on their shelves, and the hazy memory of a hookup in Dean’s head. Simple as that.

Bobby truly thought you were smarter than that.

“What happens when Dean comes around asking me where you went?”

“Tell I quit hunting, the jobs got in my head. No baby, nothing to do with Dean. Just got tired.”

Bobby decided while he hated the idea of you raising your child alone he knew you were capable. He didn’t like thinking of you in hiding from his boys but if it’s what you wanted who was he to argue with you. So he helped hide you. When Dean came around asking what happened to you he hadn’t heard from you in a while. Were you on a hunt? Bobby told him exactly what you told him to. Job got too much, you quit. You’re off in some quaint town in some perfect little apartment with nothing to your name but a box of cereal and an unfinished crochet project. Dean was obviously upset that you hadn’t told him you planned on quitting, but he understood entirely. So he left you be and assumed you’d call him eventually and tell him all the beautiful things you’d been up to.

All the while, you were wrapped up in some off the grid cottage with Donna Hanscum squeezing your hand, telling you how amazing you were doing over your screams. Jody Mills between your legs, which at first you quite embarrassed about but when your contractions became closer you no longer cared, ready to catch your baby. Through the screams and the tears, and god how much you wished Donna would hit your head with a candlestick to knock you out, your daughter was born. You thought of Eve. Ridiculous, but you spent so much time with the boys hunting down demons and angels it was hard not to think of religious figures. You thought of how scared she must of been. All alone. She would’ve given birth on the forest floor, having no idea what was going on. If she would make it. She had no other woman to support her and tell her, “believe me darling, been there done that. Everyone poops a little its perfectly natural.” No one to tell her anything she was just screaming alone. You stared at the ceiling and while you felt like a vampire ripping all your skin off would hurt less you cried for her. You cried for your pain as well because fucks sake. You felt Donna wipe a wet cloth over your sweaty forehead. You felt Jody gently rub your thigh, grounding you. You looked to Donna’s face and smiled. Eve was alone, but you weren’t. You were so incredibly glad Bobby was a hard headed bitch because your whole “I’ll give birth alone” plan would’ve been hell. Donna nodded at you and asked you to push again. You squeezed her hand harder and pushed. You squeezed your eyes shut and threw your head back screaming at the ceiling as you were sure Eve did to the stars.

You heard Jody and Donna both say hello in that usual baby talk voice that seems to just kick in naturally. You opened your eyes and saw her. She was screaming her head off, like mother like daughter. She was covered in blood just as Jody. Jody held her up from between your legs. Your legs made a frame for this filthy, disgusting, gorgeous image. Her misshapen head supported by Jody’s hand. God she was beautiful. You smiled brighter than you were sure you ever had. Jody gently placed your newborn on your stomach as she worked on the umbilical cord and placenta. You couldn’t care less what Jodie was doing, you were holding your baby. You held her to your chest after Jody trimmed the cord and wiped her down. She was still crying, which you understood. She was just evicted and now she’s being held by some sweaty mystery woman, you’d cry too. Something hit you while you were cradling a whole new human to your chest. You had no idea what you were doing.

“I don’t know what to do.” You sobbed. Donna nodded and leaned down to you, pressing a kiss to your sweaty forehead. You felt her tears dip down onto your hairline. Donna gently pushed your hair away from your face. She pulled back. Even though you couldn’t see her through your tears, you knew she was smiling at you.

“You don’t need to.” Donna whispered to you, wiping the tears off your face.

You stopped following your original plan after that. You did what you felt was right. For you and your daughter, Evangeline. You stayed with Jody and Donna. You kept in contact with Bobby, telling him all the milestones, events, and birthday parties. Bobby always showed up at them too, some obscure gift tucked under his arm wrapped in pretty wrapping paper. On her third birthday Bobby brought her a two headed stuffed bear, she still slept with it clutched to her chest every night. Jody and Donna helped you with every step of the way. Bobby helped keep things under wraps when Dean and Sam popped in asking where you are now, or if another hunter came around asking if you were dead.

Of course with the years of silence between you two, Dean starting asking more questions. “Do they hate me? Was it something I did? Was it because I told them I loved them? Are they okay? Are they alone? They aren’t in any trouble? What aren’t you telling us?” Bobby did his best to answer them without revealing anything he knew you wouldn’t want him to. However Dean was persistent and Bobby was a tired old man who could only take so much of Dean’s questions. So just to get Dean off his back Bobby gave him your phone number. You got a new phone when you went into hiding, leaving all of Deans messages and calls unanswered. So Dean thought about it for a while, would you really want to hear from him? It’s been six almost seven years, the last time he saw you he told you he loved you and a handful of weeks later him and Sam get home from a trip with your room cleared out. A sticky note taped to your door. I quit hunting, I’m exhausted. Don’t look for me. Love you both. It never sat right with him you didn’t seem like the type to just pack all your things and ditch them leaving nothin behind but three sentences. Though Dean used to think that of his father so what exactly did he know. What could it hurt?

You gingerly closed the door behind you, Evangeline snoring away. You quietly snuck away freezing when the stairs creaked. The house was still, so you continued on. You reached the kitchen and made yourself a snack. Your phone rang on the table. You quickly picked it up, moving out the door onto the back porch.

“Hello?” You wished you had taken a moment to look at the caller Id but the panic of waking up Evangeline outweighed knowing which one of the three people you knew were calling you.

“Hey baby, miss me?” You froze at the sound of his voice. It was terrifying, what if he knows about Evangeline? But god, it’s Dean. It’s hard to stay upset or worried around him.

“And here I thought your car was named Baby, not me.” You sat on the cushioned swing. You smiled as you heard him chuckle.

“Oh don’t be like that. Anyway you quit huh? What’s got you so tied up you can’t even call poor old me?” You glanced at the swing set and blowup pool in the backyard. Evangeline’s toys scattered across the yard. You clicked your tongue. Yes you were so tied up you couldn’t call him. You shrugged. You remembered he couldn’t see you.

“Oh you know, basic civilian life. It’s real lovely. I have a pool now, and a garden.” You looked to the tomato plants you and Evangeline planted, you thought they were flower seeds and when they didn’t produce pretty petals she sobbed for five minutes straight. Once Evangeline stopped crying she said she would like to be alone and stormed to her room. A week later you were both planting actual flower seeds. Dean gasped.

“Wow a garden huh? Do you think we could meet up, catch up? I’m sure a lot has happened in the past, what’s it six years?” He knew the exact number of days you’d been gone. It wasn’t really a question. You coughed.

“Uh well you know I don’t know, you’re probably not even near my state right now anyways. But maybe sometime.” You heard Dean sigh.

“Come on, baby. Don’t even tell me your county just what state?” You rolled your eyes at his nickname. You hummed.

“Minnesota.” You heard Dean groan.

“We’re only like 11 hours away, that’s a cake walk.”

“Maybe let me think about it for a little bit.” Dean hummed in agreement. You let out a small sigh, happy he’d give you enough time to decide whether you should throw a wrench in everything.

“You’re not out there alone are you?” Dean sounded worried though you know he’d never admit it. Dean probably missed you, too. He wouldn’t admit that either. Maybe it’d been years but you could tell it was same old Dean. His voice was deeper but he still talked the same.

“No, Dean. I’m not alone. I actually have roommates.” Dean made cooed. You heard Sam yell his name in the background.

“Yeah me too. They nice? Not beating up my baby are they?” You chuckled at him.

“No, they’re lovely. Sam’s good?” You heard a car approaching your house. You glanced up, moving back into the house to peer out the window. Dean hummed.

“Oh yeah he’s great, he like goes on morning runs and stuff. It’s disgusting.” You laughed.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You both fell into a small silence. You didn’t feel uncomfortable, it was Dean. You felt happy. You squished your lips in disappointment when the car sped past your driveway.

“I miss you.” He added. You paused. You pulled the phone away from your ear to look at the number. He wasn’t saved but you still had to check you weren’t hallucinating. You hummed.

“I missed you too.” Dean sighed happily. It felt good to hear you say it. He still had so many questions. Dean wanted to sit down with you ask you everything he ever wondered all these years.

“Why’d you leave like that? I was so worried about you. I had to find out from a sticky note and Bobby. You couldn’t call me and tell me you were okay? You didn’t even seem like you were tired of the job when we’re working. It was out of the blue, all I wanted was you to call tell me you were still in one piece.” Dean’s voice cracked. You heard him inhale deeply, composing himself.

“I know it was sudden, but I just- I had to get out of there. Things happened and suddenly all I could think about was my future. I didn’t want to spend my whole life chasing after monsters, I’m not some children’s book character. I should’ve told you, I should’ve called but all I wanted was to get out and i felt like if I didn’t just cut contact with everyone and leave immediately I’d get sucked back in. I treated you poorly, I apologize but you have to understand i needed to get out or I didn’t think I’d live much longer.” You threw yourself into the armchair near the window. You felt like you might need to sit down for this conversation.

“I get that but god I would’ve killed for you to just tell me you were safe.” You nodded at his uneven voice.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. You heard him sigh on the other end.

“I’m sorry. For just the life it sucks. I’m glad you got out.”

Another silence settled over you as you watched the trees in your front yard sway. You saw Donna’s car pull into your driveway. Right on time, Evangeline’s footsteps sounded above your head. Dean seemed to have already matured so much and you barely had an hour long conversation.

“We should meet, catch up.” Dean barely had enough time to agree before you hung up on him. Clearly you still needed to practice your goodbyes. You called for Evangeline, telling her Aunty Donna was back.

Soon enough you were sat in a diner. A kids menu placed next to you on the table. You waited patiently, watching Evangeline pick a song on the jukebox. You heard the familiar sound of Dean’s car pulling into the parking lot. You watched as he stepped out with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. He stepped into the diner, the bell ringing above his head. Dean smiled brightly when he saw you, moving towards you with a fast pace. He paused when he heard AC/DC come on over the speakers, Dean all together froze when the child next to the jukebox ran over to your table. When Dean finally reached your table he was silent. Evangeline had crawled into your lap, dancing to the song she picked out. She snuggled further into you when she saw Dean. You smiled at him and greeted Dean. You introduced to him to Evangeline explaining he was your friend. Dean slid into the seat across from you. Evangeline busied herself with the crayons and maze on the back of her menu. After he gave you the flowers, which you thanked him for, Dean looked at Evangeline.

“What’s- uh what’s her name?” Dean whispered. You grinned.

“Evangeline” you paused a moment watching him look to your daughter pushing her hair out of her face.

“Winchester.” You finished. His eye shot to you. Dean pointed at himself in question. You nodded.

“She’s mine?” You nodded again. Dean stared at her. Before he was looking at her because she was yours. Now he was looking at her because she was his too. You both watched as she scribbled over the maze, ultimately giving up. Evangeline looked up at you and flipped her menu over. As you both decided what she wanted. When the waitress came around you ordered for the three of you, hoping Dean’s love for bacon hadn’t changed. As you and Evangeline started a game of tic-tac-toe Dean seemed to come to his senses.

“You left because you knew about her. That’s where you went, to raise your baby.” Dean asked though it was more of an observation. You nodded, stealing one of Evangeline’s Cheerios. She pouted at you and “won” your tic-tac-toe game.

“Our baby, technically. But yes. I found out I was pregnant and I ran. I went into hiding with Jody and Donna I gave birth. And now here we are.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Dean whispered. He looked up from the table with soft puppy eyes.

“You weren’t ready, I barely was. But I wanted this baby so I made the best decision I could come up with.” He nodded.

“I wish I could tell you you were wrong. I don’t think you were. I was a dick. I’m ready now though. I promise, I wanna be there for her, for you. I have a stable home, I drink less, I’m less of a douchebag. I can do this.” You nodded. You were proud of him. You already knew he’d grown. Old Dean would’ve showed up with a condom not a bouquet.

“I know. Let’s start small Dean. Breakfast first then we’ll start with life changes.” You thanked the waitress as she placed your orders in front of you each. Evangeline smiled brightly at the plate of bacon in front of her. Dean watched her as she squealed. He smiled brightly as she thanked the waitress before digging in. Evangeline really was his daughter.

#dean #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #supernatural #spn fanfic #spn x reader

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apocalypseornaw · 5 months

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Love You Better (Pt 1/5)

Dean Winchester x Reader

When a case winds up with you and the boys working closely with someone from your past can Dean's mind stop throwing doubts towards your relationship?

Jealous/Insecure Dean coming up and a twist on Djinn hallucinations 🤷‍♀️

Dean was half asleep when he felt you moving around. He thought you were awake until he glanced down to see your eyes were still closed, in fact once you'd curled up tightly to his chest you seemed to relax and your breathing evened out again.

A lazy smile worked its way onto his face when he realized you'd in fact been looking for him in your sleep. This thing between the two of you was still fairly new, yeah you'd known each other most of your lives but this? It'd just been a little over a year.

He'd never been the one for commitment. It was easier with his life to not get attached, because in due time either he'd end up driving who he cared about away or they'd find something better. There was also the concern in past relationships like Cassie and Lisa that they were civilians. They could get killed just being around him. The fear was still there with you, not because he doubted your abilities because you were on par with him and Sam as far as hunting went but because the thought of you on a funeral pyre was more than he could handle.

----------

His fingers lightly traced the anti possession tattoo on your shoulder which in turn made you cuddle up even closer to him, a murmur of his name escaping your lips. The fear also still lingered that you would figure out that you deserved so much better than he could give.

Even long before the two of you developed feelings for each other beyond friendship he admired so many things about you. Beyond the fact that you were beautiful and an amazing hunter you were an amazing person. You would stand toe to toe with anything that crawled its way out of hell one minute then comfort someone the next. You were the one person he'd never known of Bobby ever being grumpy to, you could talk your way out of most altercations with cops.

----------

You'd always been so damn certain of who you were as a person. You'd never let anyone else's opinion bring you down saying they could only make you feel like shit if you let them.

The shift in your relationship had been subtle at first. When you moved into the bunker it was supposed to be a case of you needing a place to stay. He found himself spending more time with you one on one, rather it was making ammunition, sparring or just binging movies. You had a habit of pulling him out of himself even when he would've avoided Sam.

He found himself craving your attention and your touch. The quick moments of your skin against his when you would patch him up after a hunt would always set his skin on fire from your touch alone. When he'd be in the kitchen first thing in the morning and you'd come in still wearing whatever clothes you'd slept in, your hair wild and a sleep ridden smile on your face when he'd tell you good morning would make his heart flip.

The moment he realized just how far gone he was on you was after a bad hunt. No one had gotten seriously hurt but it hadn't exactly been a walk in the park either.

You'd been silent the entire trip back to the bunker, staring blankly out the window. Sam had tried to bait you into talking more than once but you'd give quick answers, your voice not having that usual life to it.

Him and Sam had exchanged a few concerned looks but they at least knew it wasn't physical. You'd gotten bumps and bruises but that was it.

When the impala pulled to a stop in the garage you'd gotten out slowly, giving Sam a small smile when he offered to dump your dirty clothes in the laundry room for you. "I'm gonna go shower" you told them before disappearing into the rest of the bunker.

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About half an hour later Dean found you in the kitchen making tea. He stopped at the fridge and watched you for a second. "Sweetheart, you ok?" You looked up slowly and nodded "Yeah I'm good Dean. Just tired I think"

He nodded and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. By the time he'd opened it and took a swig you had finished your tea and gave him a small smile "I'm going to bed" he smiled slightly before saying "If you need anything you know where I'm at"

He watched you walk out and wanted to follow you, try to get you to talk but knew you matched him on stubbornness levels so he decided to let it go. You would normally talk to Sam if you needed it so maybe you'd find him later.

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Dean had dozed off a couple hours before when he heard a knock at the door, wasn't Sam because he'd crack the door open and call his name if need be. He pushed the blanket off and walked to the door.

When he opened it you stood there with your blanket wrapped around your shoulders looking so very lost. "Y/N, you ok?" He asked and you shook your head "The hunt reminded me of the first time I lost someone. She was fourteen Dean and I was maybe ten minutes too late. She was still warm when I found her"

Tears started to brim in your eyes and without a thought he pulled you into a hug, the soft material of your blanket tickling the bare skin of his chest as he did so but it didn't matter. You needed him. You said something but it was mumbled against his chest.

He started to rub your back in small circles before saying "I didn't catch that sweetheart" you pulled back to look up at him "Can I sleep in here with you? I know we're just friends and if not I'm sure Sam would let me but I don't want to be alone"

He was dumb founded for a moment but nodded "Yeah, of course"

---------

He waited for you to get comfortable before climbing in the bed, you laid facing him silent yet again. He reached out and tentatively pulled your blanket up from where it'd fallen "Are you ok?" You smiled slightly "If I'm asking too much say so but would you just hold me Dean? I always feel safe with you" had his heart tried to flip out of his chest in that moment? Probably.

He nodded "Yeah, how do you..." he trailed off because he didn't know what position you wanted to lay in. As soon as he spoke you'd curled up to his chest, your fingers splayed across his tattoo. He slipped his arm around you, holding you tight. After a moment he started to ask if you were ok but realized you'd fallen asleep.

That had been the moment he knew there was no use fighting the feelings he'd been having for you. Like it or not you had him wrapped around your little finger without even knowing.

You woke up to Sam knocking on the door. You snuggled further into Dean's side and mumbled "He's your brother. Make him be quiet"

He chuckled before raising his voice so Sam could hear him "What is it Sammy?" "Garth called" you groaned lightly then hollered "GIVe US TEN AND WE'LL MEET YA IN THE LIBRARY"

Once Sam walked away you cut your eyes up at Dean "Wanna shower with me?" He raised an eyebrow and a smirk spread across his face "As much as I hate to say this I think we need to use separate showers because there's no way we'll be in the library in ten minutes if we don't" you nodded "Good point" and left a lingering kiss on his lips before standing up out of the bed to find clothes.

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You knew something was up the moment you walked into the library. Dean was leaning on the edge of the table talking to Sam. You stopped just inside the door and looked between the two of them "What's up?"

"Garth needs us to go to Texas on a case" Sam replied so you nodded "Ok. Whats the case?" Dean tore his eyes from Sam to say "Thinking a Djinn" you grimaced. Ok that explained why Dean was acting weird "We meeting anyone down that way?"

"Jaxson" Sam replied and you felt your stomach drop. Jax was your ex. You'd been with him about the same amount of time Dean had been with Lisa. How the hell was this dynamic gonna work? "Why's it need so many hunters?" You asked and Sam shrugged "From the amount of people missing its more than one. We don't want to take chances with Djinn"

"Well let's hit the road" Dean finally said so you nodded "Ok" this was gonna be fun.

@marimarvelfan @suckitands33 @jackles010378 @freewastelandstrawberry @sushiumex

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female!reader #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction #love you better mini series

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holylulusworld · 5 months

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Love by heart

Summary: Can you and Dean work things out? What about Sam?

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, a/b/o, arguing, insured Sam

Catch up here: Omega by nature

“Sammy?” you whisper as the tall hunter is still out cold. The shifter got him good. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize it wasn’t Dean. It’s just, that we got so comfortable at the bunker that I never thought an enemy would be able to enter it.”

“Y/N,” Dean sighs deeply. He gently places his hand on your shoulder, making you flinch. “Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you. I know it’s a little too much to bear. I cleaned the bunker and got rid of the shifter.”

“It’s all my fault.” You hide your face in the palms of your hands. “I should’ve known better. I’m a hunter, an experienced one. How could the monster trick me into believing it was you? You want to mate me. Hilarious!”

You start to laugh uncontrollably. “Y/N,” his features soften, and he softly whispers your name. “It’s not your fault but mine. Shapeshifters are sneaky bastards. They tricked me and Sammy years ago too.”

“Maybe I wanted to believe him, Dean. If I can’t have the real Dean, I want to have the second-best thing. An exact clone,” you sniffle. “At least this one didn’t hunt me with a hammer.” You chuckle this time. “Demon Dean on the loose was something else.”

“We’ve been through a lot together,” he runs his hand over your back. “You’re the strongest woman I ever met. No one can compare to you. Not my mother, not one of my friends, or any lover I had.”

“You only try to make me feel better,” you wipe your wet eyes. “It’s fine. Really. Please stop pitying me. I know that a woman like Cassie is more your taste. Finding the right mate is hard and maybe, I only wanted you because you were always around.”

“Sammy was always around too,” Dean argues. “Stop pretending that you didn’t hide your presentation from me to keep me from claiming you.”

“I did not! I hid my presentation since I presented,” you snap at Dean. “This had nothing to do with you, but my father and brother. I was born and raised in a clan of hunters. They had no use for an omega. A beta was fine. But an omega got abandoned and left behind.”

“Y/N, sweetheart,” he regrets his harsh words when you choke out a sob. “All these years I made you believe that I don’t want you because I was scared of hurting. Loving a Winchester is a death sentence. Look at my mother, Jess, Lisa, and Sarah. They got killed or hurt because of us. I didn’t want the same to happen to you.”

“Liar!”

“I’m not lying! I tried to protect you.” Dean yells back. “Stop accusing me of being a liar. I’m anything but a liar!”

“You only rejected me because of my presentation. If not you would’ve crawled between my legs years ago! I simply didn’t do it for you!” You jump up from your seat to glare at Dean. “Admit it! Say it out loud. You’re nothing but a knothead.”

“Watch your tongue, Y/N!” Dean breathes in your face. “You should remember your place in the food chain.” He backpaddles when you backhand him.

“I dare you to say shit like that to me ever again DEAN WINCHESTER!” You growl in his direction. “No man talks like that to me and walks away with intact balls!”

“Oh, when it comes to your balls you want me to be nice?” You snarl at the alpha. “You started this by changing the way you see me only because I’m an omega.”

“You want to hurt my balls?” His hands shoot toward his crotch to protect whatever he’s hiding in his pants. “Sweetheart that’s not nice of you to say.”

“I did not! I-“ He huffs. “It’s just…you are an omega, and we could’ve been together all this time. I went through the worst ruts because you were around, but I couldn’t touch you. I was so scared of hurting you with my knot!”

“Liar, liar your pants are on fire,” you sing-song, and stick your tongue out. “Whatever kept you from being with me wasn’t fear. It was your knot!”

“Exactly!” He says. His eyes widen and he shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant.” Dean curses loudly and grips the backrest of the chair you were sitting on earlier. “Fuck. You make me lose my damn mind one day, omega.”

You shudder as Dean addresses you with your presentation for the first time. “You are one to talk!”

“Do you know why the shapeshifter came here?”

“I guess he wanted to kill Sam and me. We are most wanted, on top of the list of every monster,” you shrug.

“No,” Dean shakes his head. “He only came here to get you. That monster couldn’t fight his instinct because he stole my identity. He remembered every single thought I had of you. And he felt what I felt. Need. Want. Lust. Possessiveness. Lust…”

“You said lust twice,” you grumble and cross your arms over your chest. “This doesn’t count!”

“Well, lust is important,” he smirks. “He wanted you because I want you. Luckily I came here just in time before that sonofabitch got the chance to touch you.”

“I could’ve defended myself.”

“I never once doubted that you’d defended yourself just fine.” He growls. “Can you stop arguing about everything I say? I tried to tell you that I love being there for you and to protect you. I still have nightmares of my time as a demon.”

“The hammer?” You challenge. “At least the demon had a thing for me too. Even if bringing a hammer for a date is a bit too much.”

“You hit me pretty hard with that baseball bat if I recall right,” Dean snaps back. “It felt like you tried to kill me!”

“I had to defend myself against a knight of hell!” You and Dean snarl and growl at each other.

“Guys, I appreciate you are trying to talk things out, but can you do this outside of my room,” Sam says. “I got attacked by a shifter and still got a terrible headache.”

“Sammy!” Dean and you gasp. “Sorry, Sam. We were about to…” you trial off. “Uh-you know. Dean and I will talk things out later.”

“Good.” Sam slowly sits up. “I only had to get myself almost killed to make you talk.” The hunter looks at you and his brother. “Please for the love of fuck. Go out there and do something against this tension going on between the two of you…”

#dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #alpha!dean winchester #alpha!dean x omega!reader #a/b/o

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shelbgrey · 9 months

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Dating Dean Winchester Headcanons:

Paring: Dean winchester x Singer!Reader

Summary: just some headcanons about Dean dating Bobby Singer's niece. -NSFW content warring.

A/n: the winner of the latest poll, there will be a new one up next week. I was so excited and suprised on how many people did the poll, my first one only had six and the latest one had over 100.

❤️Mood board ❤️MasterList

Being Dean's girlfriend isn't always easy, but you get through it. So let's talk about it.

There was always something between you guys, but with your choice of life there was always something in the way.

You two practically grew up together, with Bobby being your uncle and John being his father you two were always around each other.

I think Dean also had a slight fear of Bobby, you were his niece and your practly his daughter.

Bobby wasn't clueless, he saw the way you two looked at each other. He wanted to kick Dean's teeth out, he's extremely over protective. Bobby also knew if anyone would keep you safe it wold be Dean.

“I know you'll take care of her”

On a side note, Bobby refuse to call you 'idjit'

The last thing he's said before he died was, “take care of my girl.. You idjits”

Anyway, Even if you two kept denying it or if your just clueless, everyone would know.

Other than Sam and Cas, your the only one he 100% trusts you. He'd trusts you with his life and your his partner in crime.

What makes your relationship stronger is that you started off as best friends and allies.

You always thought you were losing him, he would always have one night stands and there was Lisa. Of course they ment nothing to him, he just thought he'd never be good enough for you.

He thought you deserved better. “I'm not what you need...you deserve better”

That was the first time you opened your heart out to him, but he put his walls up. The he pretended like nothing happened... Until you went on one particularly hard hunt.

Everything was happing so fast thst neither one of you remember that night. There was blood everywhere and Dean did everything he could to save you, Castile healed you and Dean confessed something he's been wanting to since he was 18.

“I love you... Please don't leave me, I can't lose you”

Since everything moves fast in your lives you both decided to take things slow. Dispite his rugged appearance he's nothing but a gentleman to you.

He's extremely over protective of you, to the point hunts with him got annoying.

“I'm not some damsley in distress, Dean!”

He knows what a badass you are and he knows you can hold your own, but he can't help but be your shield.

That's really the only times you fight, your both very reckless and laugh in the face of danger. You guys stress each other out on hunts.

But, lets get to the good stuff now.

Your the only other person who can drive the impala, you'd rather just have him driving with you setting with him.

You guys love the same music, so your always singing on the top of your longs to old rock songs. Your guys song is Angel Eyes by The Jeff Healey Band.

You always have to be sleeping next to each other to get a goods night rest, even when you weren't together you two shared a bed in the old motels.

Dean refuses to sleep unless you have fallen asleep first, he just needs to know your okay before he can have a good night sleep.

You bake the best pies in his opinion and Sam loves your homemade salsa.

When you guys moved into the bunker you guys made great use of the kitchen, Sam loves your guys cooking.

Speaking of Sam, he's one of your best friends. Cas is your first, but you and Sam have a long history together. You were even the first one to hear he got accepted into college.

We know Cas is like the Winchesters gardian angel, well Gabriel is yours.

About three years into yours and Dean's relationship you broke up, it was around the time Sam went to hell and you guys just pushed each other away.

Gabe knew you guys loved each other, so he worked really hard to get you back together. He did succeed.

You guys might argue about the little things, but he always know how to make them better.

You guys just like staying in and watching movies or Scooby-Doo. You guys love cuddling up in the Dean cave and just ignore the world for a few hours.

He loves cuddles, if your in bed or on the couch he needs to be holding you. He loves it when he's laying in bed and your lying on top of his chest.

He also loves it when you hold him, maybe after a rough hunt he'll love just rest his head on your chest while you play with his hair.

You love just being in his arms, there's no feeling better than that. He loves snaking his arms around you and resting his chin on your head because he just really needs to being close to you.

He's really just a big ol' teddy bear.

He's a rough kisser, he's way taller than you so usually he hold your chin between his fingers and lift for head up to kiss you.

There's a lot of neck and forehead kisses being handed out by this man. He loves wrapping his arms around you from behind and just trail soft kisses down your neck.

He also loves it when you kiss his forehead. It just a small, loving gesture he absolutely loves.

If your cold you'll steal his flannels or his jackets, he had this black and red flannel that he now only sees if your wearing it.

when ever your busy doing research Dean always deliver a tiny kiss on your forehead. He'd just be walking by and he'll give you a quick kiss just to make you blush.

He's good a making you blush, he thinks it's adorable.

Trust is a big part of your relationship, you both had opened up about the abuse your fathers and dumped on you. That was the reason Bobby took you in, he could bare you being in the type of environment he grew up in.

With that Dean made a promise to never hurt or scare you. He refuses to lay a hurtful hand on you. It'll break his heart if you flinch away from him during an argument.

As much as you love Dean, demon Dean scares the hell out of you. The demon knew this and used it to his advantage. He Dean went back to normal he could barely look into your eyes. He blamed himself for the bruises around your neck the demon caused.

“I promised you I'd never hurt you... I'm so sorry” he said. “it's not your fault”

On a more positive side... You guys have lots of nicknames. You call him Deano or bub and he calls you just about anything but your actual name, Sweetheart is your favorite.

And with FBI names, you take a different approach. While he uses rock aliases you use actor or fictional names.

“agent Sweets, really?” he said playfully. “What? I like the show Bones”

Your like a mother to Claire, she loves you so much and your the only person she trusts other than Jody and the boys.

Speaking of Jody, she took you under her wing immediately. You never had a mother growing up so it was a relief to have her in your life.

You become a mother to Jack too, and your relationship hit a really bumpy road during that time. You hated how Dean treated Jack and it always turned into a fight.

“if you touch him, I swear to God, Dean!”

Den didn't want to be like his father and after awhile Dean's shell broke and he started to grow a soft spot for him, after your lives calmed down you both did end up adopting Jack.

But to legally do that you had to get married. You both wanted to get married so bad, but with your lives you never got the chance.

You weren't gonna get a white wedding, you knew that and Dean thought the Cort house wasn't good enough. So you got married in the church of Elvis in Las Vegas.

NSFW headcanons:

Dean prefers being on top and being the one in control.

He'll mark your thighs with his teeth and biting hard enough to leave a light bruise.

Loves eating you out,your legs around his head. He loves your legs in general and loves leaving kisses on the insides of your thighs. He'd rather pleasure you for hours than receive.

Hair pulling, he loves feeling your fingers in his hair or he'll tangel his fingers in yours and tug on it when he's getting head or about ready to cum.

Bondeg kink, ropes, his ties, belts, he'll tie you up with anything if your comfortable with it.

definitely a fan of overstimulation, he loves the way that your body twitches and you whimper from his touch.

car sex! All the way. loves to take you in the back of the impala, loving the way the windows fog up and the small area gets loud with the noises you make.

He's a soft/mean Dom, it just depends on his mood. But no matter what he always makes sure your comfortable. He loves to take control in the bed but would never push you.

He would really get off on marking you up. He didn’t think he would, as it wasn’t something he thought too much about but when he did it there was no turning back.

He definitely has a Praise kink too, he loves making you feel loved and appreciated. He love how he can easily make you blush. “your so Beautiful”

“you feel so amazing Sweetheart”

He loves hearing you moan. If you try to hold back or even muffle them when it's unnecessary, he'd put an end to it. “don't hold back, let me hear your voice”

He has big chocking kink, he won't be too rough about but he loves wrapping his fingers around your neck and feeling your pulse when he's ramming into you.

This man is amazing when it comes to aftercare. He knows exactly what you need. After your both cleaned up, he'll pull you to his chest to cuddle.

#Dean winchester #Supernatural #Dean winchester x reader #Dean winchester x Singer!reader #Supernatural headcanons #Dean winchester headcanons #Dean winchester imagines #Jensen Ackles x reader #Bobby Singer x reader #Bobby Singer headcanons #Jensen Ackles

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paellegere · 1 month

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dean's sexuality is an overwhelming recurring theme throughout the show: his fetishes are prominent, he flaunts his sexuality and sexual behavior freely, he's a relentless flirt, and he has the most sexual encounters in the show. what i want to briefly consider here is how his sexuality and, more importantly, his fetishes may symbolize a freudian eroticization of a fantasized domestic life, particularly in his fetishization of femininity.

so hear me out: dean subconsciously eroticizes his mundane desires because he can't externalize them in a safe or realistic way. the desires are, namely, a longing for a domestic, "apple pie" life, which is a desire that has been explored in the show multiple times. dean routinely covets domesticity, through his desire to raise a child (ben and lisa subplot), the djinn fantasy (2.20), his "nesting" in the bunker (8.14), and his displacement of that desire onto sam (who is the primary subject of his erotic fixation in general and a subconscious extension of himself—if sam acquires a happy domestic life, dean can live vicariously through it).

he also routinely denies himself this domesticity because he's given up on getting out of the hunter life. he was raised in a survival environment and never was given a real opportunity to escape (even sam had to fight tooth and nail to get out, and we all know where that got him). the one time he had a chance to reject john and embrace normality he returned smiling because of sam (9.07). he's the one that vehemently secludes himself (and sam, like in 1.06) from society because connections are a liability. he leaves potential long-term relationships preemptively, always choosing hunting (and sam) over them before anything "real" can happen (1.13, 6.01, 6.21, also consider 8.19, perhaps more abstractly). he's so broken inside that he lacks any real desire at all (5.14). et cetera, et cetera. he denies himself his domestic desires to the point that he lacks desire at all—he's a broken shell of a man.

so the violent repression of the id causes the secret desire to leak out through erotic fantasy, a playground of fiction that is used by, well, most if not all people to explore desire in a safe and controlled medium (see: how many women have rape fantasies, for example—the sexual fantasy is a constructed world for safe exploration of certain desires, often abstracted through erotic symbols).

dean is so repressed as an individual, likely by external pressure to conform and control himself via john, that dean could subconsciously transform his secret desire for domesticity, into an erotic fantasy. he displaces those unacceptable desires from the unattainable mundane onto the safer erotic and they eventually distort into fetishes. the fetishes themselves are then abstractions of the things he covets but can't obtain.

and i want to focus specifically on his desire for domesticity and make an argument for feminization as a fetish (thank you rhonda hurley for your contributions to society) and how that relates back to that base desire.

there are several episodes in the show which suggest that dean fetishizes femininity itself, or rather feminization as it pertains to him (4.07, 5.04, also consider 10.05 in a more abstract sense). in 4.07, dean openly fantasizes about living in a "hot cheerleader's" body (youthfully feminine). in 5.04, dean recounts the time rhonda hurley forced him into her pink, satiny panties, saying that he liked it. 10.05 is a meta episode which additionally posits a plotline where dean becomes a woman through supernatural means, suggesting that fans are invited to draw a connection between dean and feminization. (these are the episodes i can pull off the top of my head; it's probably not comprehensive but i can't remember others atm)

so let's consider this feminization kink: we have dean fantasizing about femininity, womanhood, and especially girlhood, which he notoriously eroticizes (again in 4.07 and also in 4.13 and 10.13, to name specific references, but there are so many examples of this) in relation to himself, specifically. you can layer this in the way his deeper desires are of domesticity, and the home is traditionally (importantly) the domain of the woman. if dean would come to associate domesticity with femininity, then he would subconsciously connect his desire for domesticity with a desire for femininity. therefore, this feminization kink can represent an eroticization of his own (perceived) femininity. dean craves domesticity, but the domestic can only be achieved through womanhood, and therefore his desire for the domestic manifests through femininity, and thus feminization.

this "perceived femininity" of the domestic is important because of how dean conceptualizes the world largely through his consumption of media (see also: his "wild west fetish" via 6.18), which enforces gender roles and the relegating of the woman to the domestic sphere. this additionally aligns with dean's lived experiences: he had a domestic life while mary was alive, and when mary died the domesticity died with her. his only personal experiences with a settled home life are inexorably tied to the presence of femininity (his other excursion is when he lives with lisa, strengthening this association), and the absence of it and subsequent domination of john (the masculine) also took with it that domestic life.

and then you could even go so far as to make the argument that his eroticization of girlhood and his fetish for barely legal girls is a symbol of the domestic life he didn't get to live himself. it can represent a longing for youth in an environment that was inaccessible to him, a stability and domesticity walled off by womanhood. his youth was masculine, and his desire is for the feminine. it would stand to reason that when he yearns for an idealized youth, it would be through the lens of the symbolically feminine. and so this desire manifests through a fetishization of youth (girlhood) and his subsequent creep behavior. it all comes back to the life dean didn't get to live, eroticized and represented through a sexual fantasy born of rigidly enforced gender roles and the loss of femininity in his home life.

#supernatural #dean winchester #this is so long. i know no one is going to read it #but that's okay i'll survive #i've been thinking about this since before i saw a poll going around about 4.07 #and whether his 'hot cheerleader' thing was him being a creep or him being trans #and then i got to thinking about it again because i saw the poll. creep is much closer to my answer but this is my full response to it #i just think he is a mess of psychosexual fixations on everything he wants but can't have #and it manifests in the weirdest and creepiest behavior imaginable #so thanks for coming to my ted talk i guess #.txt #dean #the winchester gospel #spn posting

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