#Like people were calling me every homophobic and transphobic slur they could think of and tagging him in it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roboticchibitan · 1 year

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I remember when same sex marriage was legized in my state (3 years before obergefel vs Hodges which legalized it nationwide). It won by a very narrow margin.

People who had taken care of me when I was young, people who were like second parents to me, (along with half the other people I knew) were saying it was the end times because I could now get married. And I couldn't help but wonder... would those people have protected me, cared for me, let me play with their children, if they had known I would grow up to be queer?

I came out in 2011. I was lucky. My parents were accepting. My mom was clearly uncomfortable at first but she made it clear she loved me no matter what.

Except.

My dad didn't care if I was queer and assured me that didn't mean there was anything wrong with me (in a speech I didn't need to hear but I think he needed to say). But he still said "that's gay" and "that's faggy" anytime my little brother showed vulnerability.

And I was a lucky one. My father used homophobic slurs around me regularly. He turned the word gay into a slur with his homophobic mouth. And I was a lucky one.

When I came out publicly, my grandmother stopped speaking to me for a while. I'm lucky that she changed her mind. I'm lucky that my grandparents let me bring my girlfriend with me when I went to visit them in October. October of 2022 and I still consider myself lucky that my grandparents let my queer partner into their house. My other grandma likewise visited with us, and was polite and friendly, but she still refused to call my gf anything other than "your friend." Still lucky. Incredibly lucky.

People don't understand just how bad things were as much as ten years ago. When I came out at school, I was lucky. No one bullied me. No one shoved me into lockers or called me slurs. They all just stopped talking to me. I became invisible. I went to a small school. I was the only person who was out. Exactly one person talked to me the rest of the year. And I was a lucky one.

When I was in middle and highschool, the go to insult was "that's gay." I heard it constantly. Every day. Sometimes people said it to me to insult me, long before I even knew I was queer.

I was lucky because the worst that happened to me was social isolation and people using slurs around me or turning my identity into a slur. No one called ME faggy. No one beat me up behind the school bleachers. I was incredibly lucky.

I have experienced the word "gay" used as a slur far more than I ever heard the word "queer" used as a slur. Young "queer is a slur and only a slur" people need to know the world you live in is not the world the rest of us live in. Why is "queer" a slur but "gay" isn't? My homophobic father thought the word "gay" conveyed just as much offense and disgust as the word "faggot." So why is queer the horrible word that can never be reclaimed but people say "that's gay" as a compliment now? The loneliest I have ever felt was in a room full of teenagers who thought my identity was the height of insults. So why is gay fine but queer isn't?

I am a fat butch queer and I do not hide that. My shoes have a pride flag on them. I have a masculine haircut and wear men's clothes. I look queer.

And I am afraid. I dress like this anyway, because I want other queer folks to know I am a safe person. I dress how I do partially because I like it but also partially so any queer person in the room, no matter now closeted, can see me and feel a little bit safer. Because I will protect other queer people with my life if need be.

Because I am openly and visibly queer and live in a world where being queer can get you killed. Because it can. Gay bashings still happen. The alt right are getting bolder in their violence, and that includes homophobic/transphobic violence. There are organizations in the US that are actively pushing to make homosexuality punishable by death in Africa. They know they could never accomplish that here. But they would if they could. People want us dead.

Young people need to understand that. And they need to understand that the people who did the most work to free us from criminalization were queer. They identified as queer. And they weren't the perfect law abiding queers toeing the line of what's acceptible. Because being queer itself was illegal. You could end up on the sex offender registry for being gay. In fact, there are queer people who are STILL registered as sex offenders just because they were queer in 2001. Pride wasn't a permitted parade with wells Fargo floats. It was angry queers illegally marching down the streets, screaming "We're here. We're queer. Get used to it."

Being openly queer is a radical act. It is still a radical act.

I did not live through Windsor vs the united states, the referendum 74 debate, my father punishing my brother for being human with homophobic slurs, and the pearl clutching fearmongering about "the gay agenda" (that was a go to phrase for 2012 homophobes) for some LGBT kid to come at me with TERF bullshit they got off tiktok about how my identity is a slur and I'm a horrible person for using it.

I was a lucky one and I'm still saying "no, absolutely not" to this bullshit.

Queer is more inclusive. Queer accounts for any possible fluidity because people change. Identities change. Queer is there for people who know they're Something Different but are not sure of the details yet. Queer is intentionally vague. When you're young you want everyone to know exactly who you are but as you get older you realize actually my identity is none of your business. In fact, sometimes when you tell someone your identity, you're handing them a bludgeon for them to hurt you with.

If you have trans classmates, you do not understand the world the rest of us grew up in. Trans people were not a public topic. They were not even acknowledged as existing by most people. I didn't know what being trans was until I was like 17. I'm nonbinary now and consider myself trans 10 years later.

And I didn't even have it that bad. But you know what? It still sucked and it was still hard and I can't imagine what it was like to grow up a decade before I did. I had it easy compared to most people.

If you can jokingly say "that's gay" when someone expresses queer love, then you can fucking handle people using the word queer as their identity.

The infighting and policing each other has to stop. You're oppressing queer people with this bullshit. It does not matter what words queer people use to describe themselves when there are people actively killing us. What are you doing? For fucks sake look at the bigger picture. Direct all that rage at our oppressors and the people who mean us harm. Queer people and he/him lesbians and bi lesbians and people who use neo pronouns and whoever else is the discourse of the day do not deserve this kind of treatment. Punch a homophobe and maybe you'll feel better.

#tw homophobia #had to go on a rant because I was thinking about how trapped and afraid I felt during the referendum 74 debate #nothing was safe #no one was safe #we are still not safe #discourse

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bigolgay · 3 months

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I dunno if it’s just because I’m feeling particularly sensitive today and I just had to say goodbye to my siblings and step mum for who knows how long, but I just had a panic attack after having to use the public toilet lol.

Maybe I’m being dramatic, but is it not at least a little fucked up that because of prior experience with going in the ladies I make sure I have my ID on me, because if I get accused of being a boy perving on girls in the toilets, I can show my ID with my hyper feminine first name AND middle name right next to my face.

I leave a public ladies toilets WAITING for someone who works there to approach me to tell me off because someone reported that a boy was in the girls toilets. I wait to go in the toilets until no one else is walking in or out, and then I go in and my heart is in my throat the whole time. Then I go into a cubicle and I have a moment of peace, but it’s not really peace because the whole time I’m sitting there knowing that I’m gonna have to come out of the toilet eventually and wash my hands and leave, and in that time chances are someone’s gonna be there at the same time and see me and think I’m a boy. So then I sit in the cubicle and I listen and decide when would be safest for me to leave and not be interrogated. And then I have to wash my hands and I don’t dare look up at meet anyone’s eyes and maybe that makes me more suspicious but it’s terrifying.

And I get that for women it’s probably scary seeing me in there, but I don’t have a choice. If I thought I would get away with using the boys toilets I would, but not only would I not pass as a man to a man but I’m also possibly in more danger in there.

And I don’t even know what the people in the toilets are thinking. Half the time, it’s not women being scared of me that they interrogate me, but it’s transphobia driven interrogation??? Accusing me of pretending to be transgender to perv on women. I remember this one time I was in the toilet at Tesco and I was washing my hands (and the tesco had changed their sinks so they were automatic and they took for ages to finish their cycle) and the whole time this woman was, I shit you not, SCREAMING at me. Calling me a pervert and calling me every homophobic and transphobic slur under the sun and getting in my face and jabbing her finger into my shoulder. And I just stood their staring at my hands and wishing tesco hadn’t changed their stupid fucking sinks so I could just leave and go and cry. I wasn’t scared because I know I can hold my own well enough. But it was fucking humiliating. There was at least 5 people waiting to go into a cubicle that watched and however many people listening to it happen within the cubicles themselves. And they all watched and they probably all thought that I was a creep and was being weird and pervy but I was just trying to use the toilet as quick as possible so I could go home. It was the first time in like… a year I’d even dared use a public toilet and that happened. And i remember afterwards when the stupid sink finally got done I walked out and I walked all the way back to my high school and sat outside the gates for an hour and sobbed because I was terrified that one of the women in the toilets would be at the bus station and would accuse me of being a pervert there too. And it would be even worse because the station was always super busy after school.

I do everything I can to avoid using a public toilet because I know that even if no one says anything, people will stare and in their heads they’ll label me a weirdo. And I’m not a creep. I just needed the toilet. It’s humiliating.

Anyway, I’m sad and over sensitive. I miss my siblings and I’m dreading Sunday when I have to go home. I want to not have a panic attack when I leave a public toilet and I wish I looked different and could be feminine and I wish it didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. I hate it. Sorry for ranting.

#maybe I’m crying a little bit #I’m sensitive and a baby #and I hate being and feeling humiliated #and I really miss my littles #and my not so little little brother #and my step mum #who threw the tennis ball!?!🎾#who threw the tennis ball!?!🎾sad edition:(

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d0wnp0uringstorm · 1 year

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...

Ok... lets go some things straight. For the past 3-4 years I have been facing thousands of allegations and have been attacked online and in person way to much. I'd like to say that I'm honestly getting tired of it and personally think It needs to stop... So lets get straight into this...

First off let me explain some of my back story. For several years I have been dealing with clinical depression and have been down a really dark path which lead me to go to a mental health hospital back in fifth grade. I got out after about 2 months of being there and was ok for a little while until about half way through 6th grade. I had been in a relationship for about a year when things happened and the relationship ended. I was in a really tight spot and battled with my emotions for the rest of the year. During the summer between 6th and 7th grade my family allowed to let a man move in with us that physically and mentally tormented me. This lasted for a while behind my parents back but every time I tried to say anything my parents didnt believe me. It continued to happen until one day the guy slipped up and did it right in front of my parents causing him to get kicked out... Then 7th grade hit... heh 7th grade. Back in 7th grade I came out as trans publicly. This lead to many problems and me being a huge target (I still am) through out the whole middle school. I tried my hardest to get around everything but this caused me to go down a really dark path which continued into 8th. 8th grade was the worst year there. I had been falsely accused of many things like pedophilia, being homophobic and transphobic and many other things. I was not only hacked that year but my whole survival server had been destroyed... I also lost a whole bunch of friends I thought I could trust that year. It brought back many trust issues and stuff like that. That year I was also physically attacked on numerous occasions including an incident in the restroom I would rather not get into... I had come out to my parents a few months before 8th and the only person who really shows any support is my mother which is very little. I was called many slurs everyday... towards the end of 8th grade my mother went through a surgery that almost killed her which would have made it so that Id live with only my stepfather. I love him yes but we dont get along very well and just being us would put a lot of weight on my shoulders. 8th grade was also the year that I suffered to the point where I started doing s/h... I was told that I was faking being scuicidal and that I should really just end it... I attempted ending it which left me in the hospital for about a week and a half... I came back to still be dealing with the same stuff. My never ending nightmare. After 8th grade graduation I spent the summer mainly gathering my thoughts and not streaming or uploading much. Most of my uploads were to tiktok which is where I know almost have 1k followers. Im now in my 9th grade year and shits getting worse. I have been having bad thoughts and they are starting to get really loud... I mainly stick around for the people that actually care and I have been living off the bare minimum to keep my body functional. I have been losing a lot more friends recently, most due to arguments and stabbing me in the back and a few from suicide... I have been struggling quite a bit and being a constant target isnt helping. I feel like I'm running out of space to breathe and a little to close to the edge of the blade. Im running of the few people who bring me joy. Normally on empty I shuffle through the day. At this point I've killed myself but no one knows that your not talking to me, your talking to a scarecrow. Now I live on a razors edge about to slip. And these things are whats got me close.

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chaoticrobotics · 2 years

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what do all of the animatronics do on june, aka pride month?

Any special things with pride they do for people?

Idk if you get what I mean but, yeah-

Freddy: Oh there's a big parade every June that happens outside the Pizzaplex! During the parade, and on weekends, there are special sales that go on! We also do change out holograms from the standard purple-y color to a more rainbow color!

I will also wear some cute rainbow ties I have, and Chica will tie a pansexual colored ribbon around the base of my hat! I will also change the red to my face paint to match those colors as well! We get a lot of people complaining, but thankfully when it does come to Pride Month, the company actually backs us up in our decision to celebrate!

________________

Chica: Oh I LOVE Pride Month! All the colors and flags and people wearing all kinds of cute outfits is just amazing! I like to change my leg warmers to different colors of flags that like multiple genders! Such as bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual and others like that!

Sun and I also make these cute little ribbons that I will give out to kids, teens, and adults for free! We have all kinds of flag colors and every year we end up adding more and more! It's so much fun! Especially when a first time being out person ends up finding their flag! Oh they look so so so happy!!!

________________

Roxy: I will dye streaks into my hair with the colors of the lesbian flag and then the green part I do a rainbow gradient! We also change the checkered flag that waves to the rainbow flag when someone's on the last lap.

Honestly, I think we should keep that change all year round, but we already get so many complaints already during that time. It's so annoying, but we get to tell them to shut up thanks to the company's no tolerance rule for homophobes and transphobes!

________________

Monty: I usually dye my hair a rainbow color and add tons of pride stickers to my bass, we also offer special rainbow golf balls for the month that people can use to play with. We lose SOOO many by the end of the month hahaha!

I also hang up a bunch of other flags all over Monty Golf! Mainly on the big Monty heads or cutouts. I like making them look like capes or neck scarves! It's pretty cool! Maybe I should wear a neck scarf? I bet I could rock it!

Oh! Yeah. I also TRY to be nicer to Freddy, you know, show kids to be kind and what-not during the month. Some of them could see I wasn't good friends with him and one time a kid accused me of being homophobic to Freddy, like kid. I'm queer. I hate Freddy for different reasons, not because of his orientation.

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DJMM: I believe the staff change the lights from their normal colors to rainbow ones. At least that is what I am told, I'll have to make sure next time with the others to see if the staff was lying or not.

But I personally will play more LGBTQIA+ inclusive songs. Especially those made by individuals who are out and proud, but there are plenty of songs made by cishet individuals that plenty of the LGBTQIA+ identify with. I do take plenty of suggestions during that time and play as much as inclusive songs as I can!

________________

Sun: Oh we decorated the whole Daycare with lots of rainbows and smiley faces and will even change out neck and waist ruffles to be rainbow colored!

Moon: "Usually I would read books that show off queer families, especially transgender ones. Though now Sun has to read the stories since I'm not allowed out near the kids anymore..."

Sun: You shouldn't say queer, not everyone likes that word.

Moon: "For the last time Sun, queer is not a slur. It's fine if some people don't want to use that word for themselves, but plenty of people use it as an identity. Gay and dyke, and many other words, were also use as slurs, but now they have been reclaimed and people who identify as those labels can and should be proud to call them that. We shouldn't police how people talk about themselves."

Sun: Right, sorry. I just see it so much online...

Moon: "The discourse in the queer community is so bad... We try our best to let kids figure themselves out and not be sucked in to the bad side of the community."

Sun: Yup! We do our best to give them the proper resources and make sure they know they are not alone, not broken, and don't need to be fixed!

________________

Mapbot: Rainbow maps!

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talisidekick · 2 years

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When my mother was trying to find a name for me, she thought of the name Alexander. My cousin was born before me, and in our close knit family, that meant my mother needed a new name. She struggled to find one she liked, and as she slept one night she claimed an Angel came to her in her dreams, and told her to "Name me [deadname]." A single sentence, said once before she awoke.

This story haunted me, because I truly believed an Angel gave me my name. Yet I wished I could take such a pretty name such as Alex. But did I not owe thanks and obedience to the God that Angel served? I tried praying, confessing, avoiding sin. I did my best to do everything right, but I knew deep down I was broken. I felt ... wrong, and wrong felt right. I was told indirectly this was evil. My mother abused me, physically and mentally, and I thought I deserved it. Because such evil was in me. I was beaten, publicly humiliated, ridiculed, and made to think I deserved every ounce of it. Highschool peers jeered at me, beat me, assaulted me physically and sexually, called me any slur for gay people they could. I was dropped off a balcony onto cement, kicked down a story of stairs, shot at by dried paintballs so it left welts, beaten bloody in the woods behind school, groped, and left to bleed heavily into a box of facial tissue after getting hit in the face with a base-ball bat because 'it was just the queer kid' that was hurt. I needed an ambulance, and school staff waited 45 minutes to call my parents, it was over an hour before I was at the hospital 15 minutes down the road. I thought I deserved all of this ... because I felt joy looking at "girl" coded school supplies and wished they were mine. Because I was evil and deserved pain.

I prayed, I tried. We weren't church goers but I tried praying in the pews when a friend or grandparent took me, but God could not scorch these feelings from me. The last time I prayed was at 14, when I ran home after someone I thought I was close to robbed me of my agency, and treated me as nothing more than a toy they could abuse and choke out if I didn't agree to their whims. I'd have to wear turtle-necks for the next week while the bruises on my neck healed so no one asked questions. I prayed, but it finally hit. God never answered once, I needed guidance, assistance, but there was only silence. That evening I went out for a bike ride, rode down to a corner I knew got very dark as the sun set and tried to step out in front of a car. It stopped just in time. My sweater had red shoulders and had he "... not seen my red sweater, [I'd] be dead." From that day forward, I wore black. I threw that red pocket bible in the trash after I'd finished crying on that rural street corner alone.

It took me years, with the help of my spouse, to grind down the walls I'd built up to finally have the realization at 26 and after 5 attempts on my life that I was transgender, gay, and polyamorous and in fact not evil at all. It hurt to realize I'd been lied to so much, pushed so much down I'd forgotten who I was. How I truly felt. I'd been forced to live someone elses truth, instead of my own.

So to the Angel that named me, fuck you. When I find you, I don't care if you put trials in my life to make me a better person, I'm going to pluck every feather from your wings, and beat the shit out of you. To my school peers, I'm better than you, cope with that. To my mother, I hate you for subtly letting me know you cherished my sister more, and for being transphobic, homophobic, and hateful. You're a child that never deserved to have me, and so you never will know your second daughter you never realized you had. I hope you know that for my entire life, you were nothing but a stranger, and I lied to you so you couldn't hurt me, so you couldn't know me. You have more of a relationship with the new kid manning the McDonalds grill than me. And lastly, God? Go fuck yourself you self-anointed self-entitled egotistical universal level prick. I don't care what you 'chose' me for. My family believed gay people were posessed by demons, but I'm not posessed: I'm the demon you created with your lies.

I've never told anyone the full story. But there it is, as I remember it. My memory isn't great on a lot of it. Self repression did a number to me. I wish I'd realized sooner, because now I see the truth. The true good of this universe is written in the history of those who stand up for equal rights and representation, it's commandments practiced equally in public displays of unity of diversity and privately whispered confessions in the arms of lovers. It's words preached on rainbow coloured T-shirts, pride and pronoun pins, and pride and gender identity flags. It's shrine, it's house of worship is the closet, the bedroom, the home, and queer nightclubs. It's smiles, it's joy, it's happy tears. It's freedom of expression. And it's 'agenda', unlike our enemies who's aim is an iron fist of control, is freedom and an end to all discrimination.

And they call me a 'demon' for seeing this as a good thing. ... bat wings are cooler anyways, and sky-foxes are adorable. Keep your stupid doves.

#mine #transgender #trans #mtf #lgbtqia2s+#lgbt+#transfem

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wilwheaton · 2 years

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For anyone who genuinely doesn't understand why I feel as strongly as I do about people like Chapelle making transphobic comments that are passed off as jokes, I want to share a story that I hope will help you understand, and contextualize his behavior. When I was sixteen, I played ice hockey almost every night at a local rink. I was a goalie, and they always needed goalies, so I could show up, put on my gear, and just wait for some team to call me onto the ice. It was a lot of fun. One night, I'd played a couple hours of pickup with some really great dudes. They were friendly, they were funny, they enjoyed the game, they treated me like I was part of their team. They welcomed me. After we were finished, we were all in the locker room getting changed into our regular clothes. Before I tell you what happened next, I want to talk specifically about comedy and how much I loved it when I was growing up. I listened to records and watched comedy specials whenever I could. One of the definitive comedy specials for me and my friends was Eddie Murphy's Delirious, from 1983. It had bits that still kill me. The ice cream song, aunt Bunny falling down the stairs, mom throwing the shoe. Really funny stuff. There is also extensive homophobic material that is just fucking appalling and inexcusable. Long stretches of this comedy film are devoted to mocking gay people, using the slur that starts with F over and over and over. Young Wil, who watched this with his suburban white upper middle class friends, in his privileged bubble, thought it was the funniest, edgiest, dirtiest thing he'd ever heard. It KILLED him. And all of it was dehumanizing to gay men. All of it was cruel. All of it was bigoted. All of it was punching down. And I didn't know any better. I accepted the framing, I developed a view of gay men as predatory, somehow less than straight men, absolutely worthy of mockery and contempt. Always good for a joke, though. Let me put this another way: A comedian who I thought was one of the funniest people on the planet totally normalized making a mockery of gay people, and because I was a privileged white kid, raised by privileged white parents, there was nobody around me to challenge that perception. For much of my teen years, I was embarrassingly homophobic, and it all started with that comedy special. Let's go back to that locker room. So I'm talking with these guys, and we're all just laughing and having a good time. We're doing that sports thing where you talk about the great plays, and feel like you're part of something special. And then, without even realizing what I was doing, that awful word came out of my mouth. "Blah blah blah F****t," I said. The room fell silent and that's when I realized every single guy in this room was gay. They were from a team called The Blades (amazing) and I had just ... really fucked up. "Do you have any gay friends?" One of them asked me, gently. "Yes," I said, defensively. Then, I lied, "they say that all the time." I was so embarrassed and horrified. I realized I had basically said the N word, in context, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to apologize, I wanted to beg forgiveness. But I was a stupid sixteen year-old with pride and ignorance and fear all over myself, so I lied to try and get out of it. "They must not love themselves very much," he said, with quiet disappointment. Nobody said another word to me. I felt terrible. I shoved my gear into my bag and left as quickly as I could. That happened over 30 years ago, and I think about it all the time. I'm mortified and embarrassed and so regretful that I said such a hurtful thing. I said it out of ignorance, but I still said it, and I said it because I believed these men, who were so cool and kind and just like all the other men I played with (I was always the youngest player on the ice) were somehow less than ... I guess everyone. Because that had been normalized for me by culture and comedy. A *huge* part of that normalization was through entertainment that dehumanized gay men in the service of "jokes". And as someone who thought jokes were great, I accepted it. I mean, nobody was making fun of *ME* that way, and I was the Main Character, so... I doubt very much that any of those men would be reading this today, but if so: I am so sorry. I deeply, profoundly, totally regret this. I've spent literally my entire life since this happened making amends and doing my best to be the strongest ally I can be. I want to do everything I can to prevent another kid from believing the same bigotry I believed, because I was ignorant and privileged. So this stuff that Chapelle did? That all these Cishet white men are so keen to defend? I believe them when they say that it's not a big deal. Because it's not a big deal TO CISHET WHITE DUDES. But for a transgender person, those "jokes" normalize hateful, ignorant, bigoted behavior towards them. Those "jokes" contribute to a world where transgender people are constantly under threat of violence, because transgender people have been safely, acceptably, dehumanized. And it's all okay, because they were dehumanized by a Black man. And the disingenuous argument that it's actually racist to hold Chapelle accountable for this? Get the fuck out of here. I love dark humor. I love smart, clever jokes that make us think, that challenge authority, that make powerful people uncomfortable. I don't need a lecture from some dude in wraparound sunglasses and a "git 'er done" tank top about how I don't understand comedy and I need to stick to acting. I don't need a First Amendment lecture from someone who doesn't understand the concept of consequences for exercising speech the government can't legally prohibit. Literally every defense of Chapelle's "jokes" centers white, cishet men and our experience at the expense of people who have to fight with every breath simply to exist in this world. Literally every queer person I know (and I know a LOT) is hurt by Chapelle's actions. When literally every queer person I know says "this is hurtful to me", I'm going to listen to them and support them, and not tell them why they are wrong, as so many cishet white men do. If you're inclined to disregard queer voices, especially as they relate to this specific topic, I encourage you to reflect on your choices and think about who you listen to and why. Too many of my fellow cishet white men are reducing this to some abstract intellectual exercise, which once again centers our experience at the expense of people who are genuinely threatened by the normalization of their "less than" or "outsider" status. Thirty years ago, I centered myself and was appallingly hurtful as a result. I was sixteen and didn't know any better. I still regret it. Frankly, a whole lot of people I blocked should feel the same shame about what they said TODAY that I feel for something I did three decades ago when I was sixteen and didn't know any better. But they don't, and that is why people like me need to keep using our voices to speak up and speak out.

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gh0stchoir · 3 years

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Bakugo going out on a date with his FtM!boyfriend and defending him against both homophobes and transphobes. Afterwards, cuddle session with home-backed cookies, hot cocoa and silly movies, possibly with the whole Baku-Squad or just the two of them. Drown me in Fluff!

“My boy.”

Masterlist

Anime: My hero Academia/ MHA

Character(s): Katsuki Bakugou

Pronouns used: he/him (Trans ftm)

Time set point: normal

Warnings?: mineta, mineta being a perv, F AND T SLUR, anxiety attacks, homophobes, transphobes, slurs, threats, not proofread

A/n: I am so soft for this man. I just want to stroke his hair as he calls me his pretty boy MMMH!!

“Mmm Katsuki I don’t know. What if someone says something I don’t know..homophobic?” Y/n fiddled with his hands, glancing at his boyfriend. The blonde squinted at him and scoffed.

“Hah?! They say something like that and I’ll blow their pathetic ass’ up!” Bakugou threatened, scenarios of him blowing people up rang flashed in y/n’s mind. He sighed and gave a smile. He should enjoy their date, afterall with school and everything they don’t get dates that often. Still the thought of Bakugou actually killing somebody for saying something stayed in y/n’s mind.

Y/n smiled softly, leaning his head against Katsuki. It was time like this that y/n got to see his boyfriends soft side. The blonde would let y/n rest against him, let him play with his hair. Y/n was the only one able to do it. And that made him so incredibly happy.

“Remember, I’ll kill absolutely anybody who says anything bad about you. I’d even kill that stupid Kiri if he did that.” Bakugou spat out, his eyes narrowed. He began thinking about the possibilities of his friends deciding to be utter assholes. It was most likely not to happen, but there was still a possibility it could.

“Oh Katsuki you know Kirishima-kun wouldn’t do that. He isn’t like that..plus you know I can defend for myself and-“ Katsuki grunted, interrupting him. His narrowed crimson eyes pierced y/n’s.

“I never said you can’t defend yourself idiot. We both know you you get in situations like that. Remember that time that fuckin’ pervert did what he did?”

“Y/n I didn’t know they allowed girls in here!! I thought you were a guy! Sucks your boobs aren’t that big..maybe it’s that weird tight bra thing you’re wearing..” The short male trailed off, not noticing y/n began to shake. Tears began to brim in his eyes. Mineta just yelled that out, right infront of all the guys. This was the one situation y/n couldn’t seem to handle. What if they thought different of him? What if they thought he was just perving on them?

“B-Bakugou?? Hey hey what are you-“

All of a sudden Mineta was lifted from the ground and was hanging from none other than Bakugou’s death grip. The blonde was visibly angered, his eyes narrowed and his palms heating up by the second. He was so tempted to kill the pathetic grape right then and there. And he would’ve if he didn’t go to prison for quite literally murdering someone.

“You call him any of that shit again, and I’ll make sure to fuckin’ kill you.” Katsuki warned, his aura dark and threatening. Everyone in the room stared at the scene. No one dared to try and comfort y/n, or come close to Bakugou and Mineta. Even Kirishima knew he would get hurt from doing so. They all had to let the scene play out.

Katsuki threw Mineta to the side of the room, Sero immediately restraining him with his tape. Iida ran off to find Aizawa, knowing the pervert would get in major trouble. Everyone else watched Bakugou sat down, pulling y/n into his lap and hugging him. He whispered seemingly comforting things to him, beginning to get y/n to calm down and not continue his panic attack.

Y/n sighed at the memory, snuggling closer to Katsuki. He knew he was defenseless when someone referred to him as a girl. Every time it happened, y/n would freeze up and would not be able to snap back with a snarky remark. He wanted to so badly every time, but his body wouldn’t let him. Thank goodness Bakugou was always seemingly there to help and stand up for him.

“I was sure you were gonna kill him yknow.” Y/n smiled, seeing his boyfriend smirk.

“I was real tempted to. Glad he was taken care of. Just is so stupid how these idiots are so fuckin’ closed minded.” The blonde narrowed his eyes, hoping that for their date, no one would mess with them. They’d have a nice relaxing date and just soak in the time with the other. It sounded like paradise.

“These matching onesies we got are so comfy looking Katsuki!!” Y/n giggled happily as he set down the bags in his hands, taking a seat at the booth. The couple had just finished shopping and were currently in one of the food courts at the mall.

Bakugou smirked as he watched y/n ramble on about the clothes and things they got, his eyes sparkling. He hadn’t seen his boyfriend so relaxed and happy in a couple months. So this definitely was something that made the blondes day.

“Mm Katsuki? Why’re you looking at me like that?” Y/n suddenly stopped and spoke up, tilting his head, resting it on one of his hands. Bakugou only smirked more and crossed his arms, taking a sip of his water.

“Because you’re cute when ya’ talk on about stuff that makes you excited. ‘Specially since lately you’ve been extremely stressed and shit..by the way, it’s been awhile since you got your binder. Need to size down or up?” Katsuki glanced up, shoving a bunch of rice into his mouth. Y/n visibly perked up and thought for a few seconds before breathing in and out, testing out his binder,

“Yeah, now that you say…it feels a bit loose. When do you think I could get one?” Y/n began eating, swinging his legs. He seemingly didn’t notice the few people walking by, not hearing the snickers and them stopping next to Y/n and Katsuki’s booth.

Not getting an answer, Y/n looked up to see a few guys standing next to their booth. They were laughing and pointing to y/n, immediately making him sweat drop. Who were these people? Why were they laughing at him? Y/n didn’t realize, but Katsuki did almost instantly.

“The fuck you four lookin’ at? Got a problem?” Bakugou growled out. If y/n wasn’t there, he would have already have them on their knees and begging for their lives. The group shifted their attention to the blonde, the ‘leader’ of the group stepping up. He held a prideful disgusting smirk, looking Katsuki up and down.

“Oh? What’s this, student from 1a gonna hurt someone who didn’t do anything? How pathetic. You two are both disgusting fucking fa-“

“Refrain from that fuckin’ word, now.” Bakugou interrupted. His hands began heating up, as he stood to meet the groups level. He glanced back at y/n who held his phone in his hand, Katsuki noticing that he had began recording the conversation for evidence. It was a tactic their class learned so it could provide evidence if there ever was cause for arrest.

“Or what? Gonna cause a scene in this mall? Come on Dynamight. Someone with such a badass quirk and going to be a great hero, shouldn’t tarnish their reputation because of a pathetic little tr^nny.” The guy spat out, grinning as he watched y/n shift uncomfortably in his seat.

Bakugou gritted his teeth, grabbing ahold of the mans shirt collar and slamming him down on the ground. He held up a hand, it beginning to let out small sparks. The man shrunk back underneath him, struggling in the blondes grip. “You better scram, or else I will get your ass in fuckin’ trouble. I don’t ever want to see you talkin’ shit again if you’re able to go down so easily.”

Katsuki let go of the man, standing up and watching as the group scrambled off. The pure fear on their faces was almost amusing to the blonde, if only he was in a mood to laugh or watch someone get scared of him.

He quickly knelt down next to y/n, taking one of his hands in his own and using the other to cup y/n’s cheek. His eyes saddened once seeing y/n began to cry. He hated seeing him like that, seeing how other people were so easy to get to him with only a few words. He didn’t get why some people were so quick to act out. He didn’t get why some people could just shuttup and keep things to themselves.

“Baby, baby hey look at me..” Katsuki waited until y/n timidly looked at him, eyes blurry from the nonstop tears. “Don’t you ever listen to them. Or ever think that I’d think about you like they do. You’re absolutely my perfect boy, better than everyone else.”

Y/n cried more, leaning forward and hugging Katsuki desperately. The way he clinged on him was almost like he was going to vanish, leave him alone in the dark like the world did. Like the world continued to do.

“If they ever come back when I’m not there, either find me or get far away as possible. I’m not letting them hurt you again.” Katsuki almost cried himself, his grip slightly growing tighter as the sheer thought of y/n being hurt flashing in his mind made him livid.

The two continued to hold the other, each slowly calming down. Y/n’s eyes were red and his nose was sniffly, and he was visibly shaken up and tired. Katsuki’s eyes were red also, due to a small bit of crying and of his frustration. He didn’t hold his usual resting bitch face, instead a soft expression only meant for y/n.

The couple left the mall, heading back to the dorms. Y/n just wanted to cuddle for hours with Bakugou, be held in his arms and told he wasn’t what people saw him as.

“Mm Katsuki, where are we goin’..?” Y/n rubbed his eyes, glancing at the blonde. He looked back at y/n, leaning to place a kiss to his head and squeezing his hand.

“I wanted to eat some of the cookies we made yesterday, and make some hot chocolate. We can have a cuddle-and-movie session in my room. Sound alright?”

Y/n smiled instinctively, nodding as he watched Katsuki get the hidden container of cookies, being hid from most of class 1a, and getting the ingredients for hot chocolate.

“So, wanna watch (favorite movie)?” Katsuki asked as he prepared the drinks, moving around the small kitchen. Y/n thought for a few seconds, not wanting to seem selfish.

He rolled on his heels and tried to avoid the question. Of course Bakugou caught onto the unanswered question, looking at y/n. “Oi come on, answer me.”

Y/n sighed and lifted himself up on the counter. He swung his legs and crossed his arms. “I’ll watch whatever movie you want.” He looked back at the blonde, flinching when he narrowed his eyes.

“Oh come on, don’t give me that. It’s just a movie, and I don’t dislike the movie so.” Katsuki stood next to y/n, grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers. “And plus, the others wanted to come and watch aswell, and they all like the movie.”

Y/n perked up at the mention of their friends, also known as the Baku-squad. He looked up to see the group entering the room all in their night clothes and all joking around. Mina was the first to see the couple in the kitchen, quickly running over and pulling y/n off the counter into an almost strangling hug.

“Y/N!! Holy shit you scared me so much!” She ranted on, telling him how if she was there at the incident, she would have put them in their place. Y/n only could smile, watching as his friends surrounded him and telling him how they would of so easily beat the shit out of the men, legally though of course.

“Alright alright, don’t overwhelm him ya’ idiots.” Katsuki pushed them aside, holding a platter full of cookies. He motioned over to everyone where the cups of hot chocolate sat. Everyone quickly grabbed a cup, happily taking sips of the warm drink. “Come on, goin’ to my room.”

Katsuki wrapped his arm around y/n, listening to Denki begin to tell a story of what rather weird and silly incident that happened earlier with him and Sero as they all made their way into the blondes dorm.

“Hm? You asleep?” Katsuki glanced at y/n, seeing him lift up his head and mumbled something. Y/n curled closer to him, shoving his face in his chest. Bakugou let out a chuckle, wrapping his arms around him. The room was filled with the snores and breathing of the sleeping teens, aswell as the occasional small talk between y/n and Katsuki.

“I love you yknow…thank you for today it- meant a lot..” Y/n whispered, snuggling closer. He could hear Kastuki’s heartbeat quicken, as he looked up at him to see a faint blush on his cheeks.

Y/n giggled and leaned up and placed a kiss to his cheek. “You’re cute when you blush Katsuki.”

“Oi shuttup.you’re cuter.” The blonde argued back, huffing. “And I-I love you too, idiot.” He mumbled out, his face feeling hot. Y/n quickly looked up with a smile, as he hugged Katsuki tightly.

He was loved. Something he wished to always have and feel. And Bakugou would always and forever remind him he’s there, that he loves him so much. And that we wouldn’t ever think of him as anything else than his boy.

#x male reader #bnha x trans reader #x trans reader #bakugou x male reader #bakugou x trans reader #katsuki bakugou x male reader #Katsuki Bakugou x trans reader #katsuki x male reader #Katsuki x trans reader #mha x male reader #mha x trans reader #female aligned dni #women dni

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kingsuckjin · 2 years

Text

Goodbye

Every day I wake up, I get on the place where I like to post my writing and I get called some kind of homophobic or transphobic slur. Could you imagine trying to live like that and stick through things like that every day? This place is fucking terrible and has been for awhile, now it’s dying so it’s time for me to go. I can no longer tolerate being here.

I think it’s time to address everything and go. I’ve always said I would sit down and do this before I left. This time it’s not a joke. I won’t name any names, because I’ve learned.

Here’s a history of the things that I’ve been through here and things I’ve done in chronological order over the past few years here. I just want everyone to understand, and I want to explain and apologize.

•I released my first fic and immediately someone tells me that I can’t spell and my grammar sucks, it was the first ask I had ever gotten. I understand I’m bad at writing, I was taught to speak another language before English, I’m not from an English speaking country.

•I join a group chat on discord and the person running it is fucking terrible and cruel to everyone so I take the other people in there and we leave, the terrible person ends up being absolutely hateful to me for maybe a year and then finally leaves me alone, however that didn’t stop me from trying to make new friends because I was still a baby blog and optimistic

• I made a group chat with a couple friends and they invited their friends. One of those people there ended up forcing me into a relationship, by threatening to doxx my friends and me and they told me that they were the only one who would ever love me yet they yelled at me constantly. They would force me to tell them that I loved them. I escaped a few months later and sobbed to my group of friends about it, one told me that it was my own fault, even though I felt like I was protecting them from getting doxxed. My trust stays pretty fucked up from here on out.

•A big network says some not so nice stuff in a network group chat on discord, and I make the mistake of calling them out. I only had three hundred followers then so I didn’t think it would matter… until the bigger blogs began to reblog and rip me apart (which l deserved) They got pretty mad, I had never spoken to these people before, I didn’t follow these authors but I knew they were bigger than I was at the time. This net had already fucked my friend over with fics a couple of times so when they were mean about triggers, I made the mistake of talking about it publicly. Half of this community hated me, I felt paranoid and scared. The community here also knew my secret health problem and it was used against me daily. I took a break from things here because I was hospitalized soon after.

•after a three month break, I came back feeling better. I had gotten help, I was in therapy, and I had so many stories that I wanted to share, and I do. I do my best. I’m still not feeling my blog though and make a backup blog just in case I need to escape from my own. A network asks me to help them out with stuff so I join. Honestly, this brief few months were my fave’s time here, I wrote ungodly beast. I also join a writing network on my back up blog, because I miss people not hating me and wanted to feel new again. I found a friend there, she also flirts with me.

• I quietly come out as trans and a lot of people were angry about me being a trans man on my blog. This is where the daily trans bullying starts.

• I found a sweet girlfriend a few weeks later, she was lovely, she still is. The friend I met on my side blog is friends with my new girlfriend! New friend prys her way into our relationship in just a few days and almost becomes like a third wheel, which I tell my girlfriend who is friends with her that it makes me uncomfortable. New friend/her friend reblogs things from me with very sexual tags, but that’s okay, I still let girlfriend know everything. New friend/her friend sticks girlfriend and I into a group chat with her, where she asks us very vulgar questions and insinuates wanting to be in a relationship with us both. I ask her to stop. She comes into my dms and starts flirting with me directly, I tell her to stop again and I get mad, she acts innocent. It caused my girlfriend and I to break up, I was uncomfortable with her friend and it hurt my feelings when I kept asking her friend to stop and girlfriend wouldn’t help. Girlfriend sides with her friend because I broke up with her. Her friend ends up fucking over someone else later and they stop being friends. Now ex girlfriend and I end up reconciling and end up friends, but not before my stalker later on messages her (we’ll get to that later.)

• a tea blog pops up and holy shit did people make up the worst shit about me. I find out through here that the people from the network were poc. I’m labeled a racist a womanizer. I turn off anons but I try to fight against the harassment. I felt terrible for anyone being harassed and I’m determined to make it stop. I jokingly tell someone “a hundred bucks If you find out who runs it” I understand how terrible that was, and how mean of a joke that was. But I never planned on doxxing anyone, not when I’ve been through that before. I see people threatening suicide, and I understand how distraught they are. I want to make it go away, my moots, friends and myself are suffering. I tell people I won’t post fics until the tea blog is gone. I’m just bullied for that too.

•Eventually the tea blog leaves and there is severe damage to our community. I took another break because everything had been so mentally exhausting. It’s hard to write anything at this point, being here just made me worry.

• I got my second girlfriend from here, she helped me through a lot of stuff with the tea blog, and I had known her for a long time before we started dating because I trusted no one at this point. She was perfect, but now I understand that she was just mirroring me. She was the first girlfriend I had ever talked about on my blog. I fully trusted her. But after a month she began to get very controlling. I had a video call with her planned for one week but I had to cancel because of the flu and lost my voice, she blew up on me. We broke up and she began to stalk me. She sent messages to my first ex telling her she was scared of me, and asking about me. My first ex told her that she wouldn’t talk about me.

•my best friend of two years tells me that they can’t be my friend anymore because I sleep with too many people. That hurt the worst out of anything that has ever happened on tumblr. We had met here, they had been here from the start.

•everyone who I had ever known or interacted with on my blog got terrible anon asks about me, ranging from asking why we stopped being friends, to calling me a poc predator, to lies telling people that I’ve talked bad about them. Again, I didn’t know who hated me or not. I stopped mentioning people on my blog, I stopped reaching out to writers I like to reblog fics of theirs because a few told me to unfollow them.

• my “health condition” gets worse, I attempt to end my life and have to be in a grippy sock happy hotel for a while but I was determined to get better and I can successfully say that I did and I've been doing better physically since then.

•I get help, but I’m stressed from my job, Covid is raging. I come back and so does the tea blog. Round two of the tea blog was the worst, but I successfully ignored it but it still took another piece of my soul with it.

•Everyone I’ve ever known is still getting disgusting anons about me. I can’t stop it, I feel trapped. At least two dozen people came to me about it including my ex best friend who messaged me to tell me and slut shamed me once more. Every network I had ever been a part of or not got one.

• my second best friend of years left tumblr, and for justified reasons. She had been experiencing all the things I had been too, if not worse.

Whoever is has been sending me anons seems to have focused their attention solely on me now and I am alone here. The amount of notes I get on fics have gone down to just single or double digits and there is nothing left for me here anymore. Traumatic things have caused me to lose love for my hobby, I feel alone, my friends are gone from here, I just don’t feel appreciated anymore, I’ve lost the will to make other writer friends out of fear, and I get on here and see that someone had threatened to break into my home and shoot me everyday and it makes me scared for my baby. People are sending terrible things to others because of me and it’s hurting them, I am hurting others by being here. I understand that I’ve screwed up many many times but why would a person want to hurt me and others I knew that badly? There’s no way to make any of it stop but to leave. For years I hung on with the hope that it would just stop and I could get the strength to write a complete fic back, and I could go back to what I once had. I hoped that my blog could survive all of the rough patches, but the torment is unending and relentless. I understand entirely that a lot of these things are my fault and I apologize to any of the nameless people that I’ve mentioned, I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you. I wonder if things would’ve been different if I had just shut my mouth, I’m sorry that I did not. I know that it’s not a coincidence that so many people dislike me, I understand that it’s my own doing and again I deeply apologize. To rectify everything that I’ve caused, I will no longer be on this blog nor making another. I’m finally leaving as people have wanted. Thank you to those of you that have read and enjoyed my writing and used it as an escape, writing it was my escape too and I’m glad that we got to do that together. Thank you to anyone that has ever been kind to me, you made me feel like I belonged here even if the feeling couldn’t last. I still keep a doc of my favorite fic reviews people have left me, and that’s what kept me going until now. Just thank you to the thousands and thousands of you who have stuck with me, especially the ones who have been here for years. I feel like I’m both leaving a family and running from an angry mob and both hurt deeply but I can’t run anymore. Stay happy, healthy, and take care of yourselves. -kingsuckjin/Quinn🖤

#goodbye

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bisexualsdeservebetter · 3 years

Note

i looked on lgbta wiki to discern what the hell that person could possibly mean by “male lesbian” and i think i lost braincells reading their lesbian page but my best guess is that they’re talking about non-binary men and/or trans men. apparently, according to lgbta wiki (which is a very reliable source, as we can tell due to the completely objective way they present their articles /s), lesbianism means attraction to all genders except for binary men, except bi lesbians and straightsbians are totally valid and totally still lesbians even though they’re literally attracted to binary men i guess?? and then all of the “everyone except for binary men” stuff goes out the window because trans men can be lesbians if they feel a connection to lesbianism or they used to identify as lesbians before they realised they were men or whatever the fuck. and then there’s this whole thing where it goes “a common form of transandrophobia includes saying that trans men are just ‘confused lesbians’ because all lesbians feel some level of detachment from their gender” and it might just be me but it really feels like there’s an implied but we’re not like that! because for some reason they feel the need to constantly point out that trans men are still 100% real men and identifying as lesbians doesn’t make them less of one?? like hot take people who believe trans men are really men don’t feel the need to constantly affirm that they think trans men are men. and the comments are even worse! nobody questions anything even though it’s all complete nonsense, and i’m pretty sure anyone who actually dares to say that it’s complete nonsense just gets deleted. they even locked the page so only admins could edit it because apparently there were problems with people getting upset about the definitions (shocker) and changing it. someone even said “Before you get angry about this accurate information presented in this article, take some time to self reflect and realize that maybe you were wrong.” because yup, people (lesbians, mostly, but you can’t just say you’re talking about lesbians because that will get you rightly called out) are totally upset about this because they’re evil exclusionists who hate change and not because the notion that lesbians be attracted to men and/or be men is super lesphobic and harmful to them. like… they’ve turned lesbianism into a fun little label that literally everyone can identify as except for cis binary men and anyone who isn’t attracted to women/non-binary people regardless of alignment (even though the whole “you can be attracted to non-binary people in the same way someone can be attracted to men/women” is bs anyways but that’s not how these people see it), which completely defeats the point of lesbianism as a functional identity. thankfully this is just a loud minority, but holy shit they hate lesbians so much it’s wild.

There's not a lot I can add to this. Inclusionists love to erase and demonize lesbians, it's their favorite hobby. I'd like to point out I also see q*eer as a label being pushed on lesbians more than gay men. I have seen it with gay men too, but it seems to be mostly lesbians. A woman can literally flat out say she is a LESBIAN in no uncertain terms and inclus will still crawl out of the woodwork to call her a "q*eer woman". Like inclus are So Fucking Dedicated to either watering down lesbianism until it's a cute little label anybody can claim if they want to, regardless of if they're even women or if they're even attracted to women, or demonize lesbians to the point where they make it seem like all lesbians are mean evil TERFs.

I will never forget a post I saw a screenshot of some time ago that was aces claiming they have more right to the D slur than lesbians do, because the slur targets women who are sexually unavailable to men, and according to inclu logic, an ace is more sexually unavailable to men than a lesbian is. Despite the million different stupid fucking variations of asexual, including 'sex positive aces'. Like they genuinely believe a homosexual woman is undeserving of reclaiming the slur that is primarily directed at homosexual women because she... Experiences attraction. Every time I think I have seen the dumbest shit imaginable from inclus, they seem to take it as a personal challenge and make up something worse.

Also, fuck the LGBTA wiki, they're so blatanly homophobic, biphobic and transphobic all the fucking time over there, I lose brain cells every time I see a screenshot of that dumpster fire.

#lesbophobia #anti bi lesbian #anti mspec lesbian #homophobia #exclusionist

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pan-fangirl-345 · 3 years

Text

I'm Coming For All His Monsters

Summary: Shinso Hitoshi is determined not to make friends, but you and your friends have different plans, though Mineta seems hellbent on being the worst person in the world.

TW: panic attacks, abuse, homophobia, transphobia, discrimination, Mineta being involved in the last three, Mineta is a general trigger warning because I think the fandom collectively hates him, and I think that's it, but if I missed anything please contact me! I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable or regret clicking on one of my posts by accident!

A/N: Please for the love of all things holy, read the trigger warnings! Sorry I've been so inactive lately, I've been busier than I thought I was going to be! I'll start posting more in the following weeks hopefully!

Mineta was despised by everyone on the U.A. campus. It was a simple fact that was known by anyone who met the short perverted grape rat.

He made the girls feel like objects, and like they had to look over their shoulders every time he walked into a room.

The guys hated him for his disgusting personality and- for most of the boys in 1-A- his homophobic comments.

Mineta was the embodiment of what everyone hated in the world.

"Mineta," you warned, feeling his eyes on you as you strolled into the common room, "if you touch me, I will break your arms, do you understand me?"

Nobody was spared, whether they were female or not.

If it had boobs, Mineta was groping them, even if they were already in a relationship with someone.

Sero and Iida, along with Tokoyami and Shoji, took the brunt of the homophobic slurs (since Mineta had said something to Katsuki, who put him into the hands of Recovery Girl when he said something during training and Shouto had left him frozen for four hours in the woods after Mineta made Izuku cry).

Kaminari was spared some comments, because he played along with Mineta sometimes, and had yet to come out to that one student about being trans (everyone in 1-A had assured Denki that he didn't owe the grape rat anything, and he only had to tell the people he felt comfortable telling).

The newest victim of Mineta, was Shinso Hitoshi, the newest addition to class 1-B (and hopeful Mineta replacement).

Not only was Mineta a perv, homophobic, and transphobic, he was also a huge quirkest.

Hitoshi, after making friends with Denki and Izuku, had been spending a lot of time in the dorms.

You had been fast friends with him also, being an honorary member of the Bakusquad on account of being Eijirou's twin sister and Denki's best female friend.

For the first week or two that you had known Hitoshi, you had been worried that you made him uncomfortable.

Every time you walked into a room, he disappeared, and every time you tried to talk to him, he had avoided eye contact and bolted as soon as he could.

Until one night, when you had gone down to the common room after a nightmare, you had found him on the couch, staring a hole in the wall like it had personally offended him.

"Hey Shinso-san," you murmured, trying to announce your presence to him, but also trying not to wake anyone else up.

You saw no reaction, and called his name again, moving into his line of vision.

He tensed, and winced, at your arrival, and it made you frown.

"Why are you up?" you asked softly.

"Haven't you heard?" he replied playfully. "I'm an insomniac."

"Not after the training we had today you shouldn't be," you told him. "Everyone was so exhausted, short of the building collapsing, I don't think anyone's waking up for a while."

"You're up," he pointed out.

"I guess I'm just built different," you mused, and he chuckled, which made you smile.

"You spend too much time with Kaminari," he said.

You shrugged, sipping your water before you said, "I'm sorry. If I've made you uncomfortable, that was never my intention. I just wanted to be your friend."

Shinso tensed, glancing away from you before he pulled his legs up onto the couch, burying his face in them for a few moments before he reappeared.

"I'm sorry for making you think that you made me uncomfortable. You aren't doing that," he informed you. "I'm just . . . not used to a girl that gives me physical affection so easily. You aren't afraid of me, it's just taking some getting used to."

"Huh?" you asked, sitting on the far end of the couch, just to make sure that he had enough space. You had started to notice that he flinched when you got too close. You had an inkling about why, but you didn't want to assume anything and be wrong about it.

"I . . . I don't know how much Kaminari has told you about how I grew up-"

"Nothing," you interrupted. "Denki doesn't talk about stuff like that, especially if you've asked him not to. He might be dumb sometimes, but he's loyal."

Shinso nodded, stewing for a few quiet minutes before he said, "I wasn't raised in the most . . . stable household ever."

So you were right about your hunch then.

"Did they . . . you don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable, but did they hurt you?" you asked softly.

"I don't remember much about my life before my quirk appeared- just flashes here and there- but they weren't the best parents in the world."

"So that's why you flinch whenever I touch you," you murmured. "I'm so sorry. I should've stopped sooner. I figured that might be the case, but I wasn't sure."

"You don't have to apologize," he said, glancing at you. "I don't mind- when you touch me I mean- it just jumps me when it happens unexpectedly. Especially when people come up behind me."

You nodded, scooting a little closer, turning to face him completely.

"Still, I'm sorry. I know Denki and I are tactile people, and sometimes we do it without thinking, since most of our friends and classmates respond well to it. I should have noticed when you didn't."

"I don't mind when you or Kaminari touch me," he said. "I flinch because it's a natural reaction for me. I really don't mind you or Kaminari touching me. It's pretty much everyone else that's the problem."

"And yet you still kick ass in combat training," you praised, trying to lighten the mood.

Shinso had given you a small smile and a breathy laugh, and you had smiled back at him.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to make you feel like you made me uncomfortable, it's just that girls aren't really my forte. Not like Kaminari anyway."

"Kaminari can dish it out, but he can't take it. And besides, this might be just me, but that kind of flirting doesn't work. Too overused. And the way he says it, well-" you made a face and Shinso laughed. "Thank you for telling me, by the way, about your family. It means a lot to me that you trust me enough to tell me."

Shinso nodded, glancing at you.

You couldn't tell in the dark, but you were pretty sure he was blushing.

"So, Shinso-san, what do you say?" you asked, slowly reaching out a hand to him in what you hoped was a non-threatening way. "Wanna be friends?"

He nodded, taking the hand that you held out to him.

That had been the start of your friendship with Hitoshi, but as the months passed, you had realized that you feelings for the insomniac weren't entirely platonic.

But you weren't sure how Shinso felt about dating, and you sure as hell weren't sure how he felt about dating you, so you ignored them as best you could for the time being.

But then Mineta made a dumb move.

It was an unspoken rule that when one of the squads, either the Bakusquad or the Izucrew, was having movie night or a hangout in the common room, Mineta stayed in his room.

But he had come down to the kitchen to get something just in time to see you hug Shinso in welcome.

"Ugh, it's bad enough that he's interacting with us," Mineta groused, drawing attention. "But you guys have to make it worse by letting him into our dorms?"

"Shut up Mineta," you growled. "I would choose Hitoshi to hang out with 100 times out of 10 instead of you. Go be an ass in your room or better yet, throw yourself out the window."

"At least put this on him," Mineta said, tossing something to Shinso.

He frowned as he tried to figure out what the item is.

You saw him tense as he realized that it was a gag.

You saw red, zeroing in on Mineta as Shinso tensed behind you.

"You slimy son of a bitch," you whispered, hands clenching so hard your fingernails bit into your skin.

Mineta tensed, clearly sensing your rage, and he tensed even further as you slowly raised your hand and pointed it at him.

He goes pale as your quirk takes affect.

Sweat beads on his forehead, and then he started to scream.

Everyone had agreed, silently of course so that Katsuki didn't get offended, that your quirk was the most terrifying.

Being able to dig through someone's mind and implant something close to their greatest fear was something the others had been wary of before they had met you.

You usually hated using your quirk on people, but Mineta was an exception.

Ignoring the sounds of Mineta screaming, you turned your attention back to Hitoshi, who is still staring down at the gag, his hands shaking slightly.

"Hitoshi," you murmured, moving so that he can see you.

You take the gag from his hands, careful not to touch him, handing it to Katsuki, who lights it up like a dry piece of paper.

"Hitoshi," you murmured again. "I need you to blink if you can hear me."

He blinked hard, and he turned his gaze onto you, though it was glassy and terrified.

"Hitoshi, blink if you can talk," you suggested, keeping your voice level, ignoring how Mineta goes quiet in the background.

Hitoshi blinks again.

"What do you need from me?" you asked softly.

The others were clearing out, giving you space, though Denki lingered, ready to jump in too.

"Talk to me," he gasped.

"What do you want me to talk about?" you asked. "I can tell you about my day, or I can tell you about the plot of the last book I read."

"Just talk to me," he gasped.

"Alright Hitoshi," you murmured, releasing your hold on Mineta.

Denki picked the grape rat up by the color of his shirt, leaving the room once he was certain that you had the situation under control.

"Can I touch you?"

Hitoshi thought for a moment before nodding, and you slowly reached out to take his hands, linking your fingers together.

"Okay, you know how I get when I read, so you can imagine how pissed I was when my favorite character was killed off. I mean, I cried, obviously, but I was so pissed! I wanted him to live! So far he's the only good male character! He actually reminds me of you. He's got that 'too cool for you' attitude, but he really is such a sweetheart. I love him, he's such a good character too. Seriously, if he managed to fall into our world and asked me out, I would totally say yes."

Hitoshi laughed tensely, and you ran your thumbs over his knuckles in soothing circles, settling him down on the couch, turning to face him, your hands still holding his.

You attempt to pull them away once, but he tightens his grip and you adjust your grip on his hands.

"Anyway," you continued, spewing about your latest reading spree, holding Hitoshi's hands in yours, sometimes pausing to make sure that he was still okay.

Eventually his shoulders relax and he tips forward into your lap.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, turning his face away from you.

"It's okay Hitoshi," you told him, laying a hand on his shoulder, taking your hand back. "The only person who should be apologizing is Mineta. I can't believe he did that. I knew he was a bastard, but this is a whole new level."

"I never wanted you to see that side of me," he whispered.

"Hitoshi," you said, you tone making him turn to look up at you. "I don't think any less of you because of this. I don't understand everything that you went through, and I don't know your exact experience, but I do understand the feeling. If something ever triggers you like that again I need you to tell me or one of our friends, maybe find a way to remove yourself, alright?"

He nodded, looking a little relieved.

"Hitoshi, do you need to talk about it? You don't have to," you assured him, "but . . . I just want to make sure that you're okay. I have a hunch, but I'm really hoping I'm wrong."

"You probably aren't," he murmured. "My father used to gag me whenever I tried to use my quirk to stop him from hitting me."

"Oh Hitoshi," you whispered, reaching out to touch his face before you remembered and pulled back.

He sat up again, took your hands, and placed them on his face, leaning into them, a small smile spreading across his lips as your thumb caressed across his cheeks.

"You don't have to pity me," he whispered.

"Hitoshi, this isn't pity," you told him, feeling your throat close at the torrent of horrors that flashed through your mind when you thought about what he had gone through. "Yes, I'm sorry that you went through that, and I'm sorry that you didn't have the family that you deserved until later in life, but I know that it helped shape who you are. And I love who you are, okay? If I could go back in time, I would become friends with you sooner so that I could give you all the hugs and safety you needed and deserved, but unfortunately, that's not my quirk. For now, I can try to make up for all the affection that you missed out on as a younger child, and be one of the people that you can count on, even when it's three A.M. and we should both be sleeping."

You leaned your forehead against his, content to just exist in the same space as he was, breathing the same air, hoping that he understood what you were trying to say.

He shuddered under your hands as your words sunk in, but you could tell that this wasn't a bad shudder, and you pressed your hands into his cheeks a little harder so that he knew you weren't going anywhere, but not enough to hurt.

"Are you okay?" you asked softly, opening your eyes to see him already looking at you with those beautiful eyes of his that were too old for the age of his body.

"I think so," he murmured. "Thank you, for sticking up for me."

"Always," you told him fiercely. "No one does something like that to my family. Ever. Especially not him. Do you want me to do anything else? I will break his arms."

Hitoshi shook his head, holding your hands against his face, leaning into their warmth, making your heart melt.

"Will you stay with me?" he asked softly, like he was scared of making you uncomfortable.

"Always, for as long as you need me to," you promised vehemently, kissing the tip of his nose.

As Hitoshi slept on your chest that night, your hands threaded through his hair as you ran your hands through it, you made a promise to yourself.

I'm coming for all the monsters that ever touched him. I'm coming for all the ones who twisted his stars and light into shadows. They tried to turn him into a nightmare, so I am going to be theirs.

#shinso x reader #shinsou x reader #hitoshi x reader #hitoshi shinso x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #fluff #tw: abuse #tw: mineta #tw: child abuse #tw: gags #tw: panic attack #tw: transphobia #tw: homophobia #tw: discrimination

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with-my-murder-flute · 4 years

Text

Hi everybody, thanks for the asks letting me know I made the top of @yusuftiddies’ list of Homophobes in TOG Fandom, you can stop sending them now.

So.

I can make mistakes and fuck up and own that. I am serious about listening to marginalized people. But... in this case, while @yusufstiddies generally describes factual events that happened and factual posts that exist, I have to say that I can’t actually apologize for the things I’m called out for because I don’t think they’re homophobic. The things he criticizes me for are things that come from a lot of personal experience as a queer bisexual cis woman, as well as a lot of reflection, research, and study. I believe in them really strongly and stand by them.

I’m really sorry if this makes TOG fandom too hostile, because it is not my intention to make this place so unpleasant that anyone feels driven out. I understand if my stance means people no longer want to follow me/read my stuff/participate in projects I’m involved with (though I’d rather hand off the Research Hub to someone else than see it go down with me). I’m posting this so people can know where they stand before they decide whether to keep interacting with my blog, or “deplatform” me as @yusufstiddies recommends.

I would recommend, for anyone who doesn’t want to see my posts, using Tumblr’s new post content filtering feature. If you type a username (like star-anise or with-my-murder-flute) into it, Tumblr will hide all posts featuring that specific string of characters, and therefore any post or reblog of mine.

To address the accusations against me:

I am an anti-anti: Yes. I’ve reblogged posts of mine about this before. I care passionately about preventing child abuse, but I think there are better ways to prevent child abuse in fandom (like concrete harassment policies so predatory behaviour can be reported and stopped early, and education about digital consent and healthy relationships) than attacking people who write “bad ships,” not least because the first people it hurts are abuse survivors trying to work through their trauma, and because the research says you cannot actually tell who’s a sexual predator based on what they write about. Fiction affects reality, but not on a 1:1 basis. My mainblog, @star-anise, has a really extensive archive of my writing on the subject.

I said cishet men aren’t more privileged than gay men: Kinda. What I actually did was question whether Every Single Cishet Man benefits from more privilege than Every Single Gay Man. If a man is cishet but gets beaten up because people perceive him as gay, he’s not exactly feeling the warm toasty glow of heterosexual privilege in that moment. Oppression is complicated and there are times when someone’s lack of privilege on one axis is way less important than someone else’s lack of privilege on another axis.

The post above also includes me reblogging someone else’s addition about how straight men can be included in the queer movement: I’m queer. @yusufstiddies has made it very clear that he isn’t comfortable with the word “queer” and doesn’t like it. Therefore I think it’s understandable that he might not understand that the queer community sees ourselves as a coalition of people dedicated to dismantling the structures of sex and gender that oppress us, not a demographic of people whose gender identities or sexual orientations can be neatly mapped. However, I would say that doesn’t make queer theory inherently homophobic.

There are also some related points @yusufstiddies didn’t level at me specifically, but I would like to address:

The constant focus on the unsafeness of cishet people:

I’m not cishet. I’m a bisexual woman who’s dated women. Sixth-light is a queer woman married to a woman. This is not an issue of non-LGBTQ+ people blundering their way into something they don’t experience the daily consequences of. This is an issue of people from WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community who sincerely disagree with @yusufstiddies about the pressures we experience and how best to deal with them. I think that even if @yusufstiddies were to filter his fiction input to only LGBT-written work about LGBT experiences, or even only trans-written work about trans people, he would still find a lot of things he finds upsetting or transphobic, because sexual and gender identities are really diverse and not everything will suit one person.

The contention that saying “’Queer is a slur’ is TERF propaganda” is transmisogyny because it dilutes the definition of “TERF”:

People who point out the phrase is TERF propaganda are not calling every person who says it a TERF, and we are not trying to argue that telling a queer person that queer is a slur is inherently equal to the kind of damage a TERF does when she attacks a trans woman out of transphobia. Queer people being able to use the word “queer” does not have the same importance as trans women being able to live, work, and survive in public. Rather, we are literally saying, “This is a thing TERFs say when they take a break from attacking trans women and try to recruit new members to their group, so it’s in our best interests to not give it too wide a currency.”

Some people have experienced the word “queer” used as a hateful word hurled against them and don’t want to hear it ever again. I get that. It happens. Where I grew up, “gay” was a synonym for “shitty” and it took me a lot of years out of high school before the word “gay” wouldn’t shoot my blood pressure through the roof. I actually do understand that and think that’s valid (and again, support using post content filtering for that word).

One of the things I do at @star-anise is argue with young people who are headed into full-on transmisogynistic TERF territory, and work at reeling them back and deradicalizing them. I use a tag called “weedwhacking” so my followers can filter out the sometimes lengthy back-and-forths we get going.

Something I’ve learned, interacting with so many TERFs and proto-TERFs, is that one way they frequently get recruited into harassing trans people was through discourse around the word “queer”. For one, it encouraged them to want to distance themselves from any perception of LGBT people as “weird” or “not normal”, which led to seeing trans people as “weird” and “not normal” and therefore not good members of the “gay pride” community. For two, repeating “queer is a slur” predictably causes a lot of queer people to react in a defensive manner, so by teaching young or new people to say it, TERFs can set them up to feel alienated from the larger LGBTQ+ community and more open to TERF propaganda.

The next issue isn’t mentioned in the original callout post, but I think it’s key to this entire issue:

@yusufstiddies has made several posts about what cishet people should and shouldn’t write. For example, cishets shouldn’t write Nicky experiencing internalized homophobia. Another is a detailed post of things cishets shouldn’t write about trans people, including which sexual positions only trans people are allowed to write. I would imagine that part of his frustration with fandom has been the lack of traction those posts have gotten. I know I very deliberately didn’t reblog them.

That isn’t because I don’t agree that the things he complains about are rarely handled well by cishet authors. I agree that there’s a lot of bad fic out there that contributes to negative stereotypes against LGBTQ+ people and is basically a microaggression to read.

I have two very deeply-seated reasons for my position:

LGBTQ+ identities are different from many other political identities because most people are not born identifiably LGBTQ+. It’s something we have to figure out about ourselves. And one really important way that we do that is using the safety of fiction to explore what an experience would be like, sometimes years before we ever admit that we fit the identity we’ve written about. So banning cishet authors from writing something is really likely to harm closeted and questioning LGBTQ+ people. It will lengthen the amount of time questioning people take before finding the identity that really fits them, and force closeted people to be even more closeted.

There’s a lot of undeniably shitty stuff in fandom. However, I fundamentally believe that trying to target the people creating it and forcing them to stop doesn’t work very well, and has the serious byproduct of killing the creativity and enthusiasm of the rest of fandom and resulting in less of the actual thing you like being produced. I think that it is infinitely more productive to focus on improving the ratio of good stuff in fandom than trying to snuff out every bad thing.

Like I said: I understand if this means former followers, mutuals, or friends no longer want to interact with me. I’ll be saddened, but I’ve obviously chosen this path and can deal with the consequences.

I wish this could have worked out differently.

#my stuff #the old guard

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g3nosarchive · 3 years

Text

ok i genuinely think a lot of other people have this problem but stop inserting yourself when xyz issue is mentioned. when someone is telling you that a person, a celebrity, some franchise is harming their identity or anyone’s identity as a minority, or part of a certain race or religion or anything shut the fuck up and accept it.

they do not need to know your emotional attachment to said thing, your disbelief, your horror, your personal experience - we didn’t ask for all that. we know just how bad it is, cus yk it harms us maybe? we’ve already gone through the cycle of being angry and indignant and now we’re here trying to get you to understand in the hopes that as a friend you do what you’re meant to do when you became friends with us. we are not your constant ball of anger to use whenever you find something that’s “crazy, unbelievably, shockingly” once again, a hate crime, when you decide you want to feel angry and care about it.

more under the cut bc i talk too much

by doing that, you’re making an issue that you didn’t even know about suddenly yours. ask yourself, what is the purpose for telling anyone all that? to get them to sympathize with you personally so you can get a pass because you didn’t know? of course you don’t know, of course you’re unaware, that’s the whole reason why you’re being told in the first place. do not water down the issue or even try to play the ‘everything has some issue like this so there’s no point in going this far’ card. especially as a white person. the reason why you don’t know primarily is because it doesn’t affect you and it doesn’t cross your mind.

when you watch a show with a black character, you don’t care about how off the character design is or how stereotypical and borderline racist the comedy gag surrounding said character is. when you listen to your favorite white music artists or watch your favorite movie with a majority white cast, white staff, white team, and white theme, you don’t care to analyze just how outdated and stereotypical the way that token asian character is portrayed. some of y’all don’t understand and will never understand the mental struggle and awareness forever plugged into the brain of lgbt and/or poc, especially black people when we consume anything, when we go anywhere, when we meet new people, to constantly catch those micro aggressions and know what to avoid.

so when someone tells you insert classic hot mess is racist and you should stop supporting it, one of the worst things you can do beside outright rejecting it is to defend it and insinuate that we don’t know what we’re talking about, that we need 30 different sources to prove it all, that you don’t think (for example taylor swifts dream colonized africa mv) is bad. you try to say the thing or person that is actively promoting all this homophobia, racism, transmisogyny etc needs to be kindly educated, is trying their best, will learn soon enough, just wasn’t educated, will do better in the future (esp looking at u kpop stans). does their apparent regret but refusal to properly apologize actually matter? the damage has already been done.

that in itself is a privilege i could never have. i don’t even try being a fan of any major white celebrity or any kpop group because i guarantee if i search up their name with ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘homophobic’, ‘transphobic’, ‘cultural appropriation’ behind it something or some image is bound to show up. you will all say “oh they haven’t done anything yet” but when it comes out that they did, they have, and they do not care about who it affects, suddenly it’s a bombshell dropped on you out of nowhere.

it’s not that hard to spot these things actually. if your fav is constantly putting themselves against people of color, saying shady shit about non cishets while being a cishet themself, saying one thing and doing another, or has been silent when their voice was expected to speak up, shouldn’t you notice? y’all will reblog all these posts but in reality only 10% are actually reading and listening and actually digesting this information for future use.

and i think the thing that pisses me off is this is all from personal experience where i’m speaking from. over the past 2 days the amount of times if i’ve heard about the “tea that dropped w meghan markle” is ridiculous and annoying. a girl texted me and i sat there and i realized that she does this on a daily basis to fuel my anger and get me to validate her own useless anger. of course i knew about it and i wasn’t surprised at all - she’s still a black woman.

almost every black blog on here, when they get big enough, deals with some sort of weird shit surrounding their blackness. if you get big on speaking about issues you are now this emotionless token ‘smart black person i can actually trust’ to use as your replacement for google. this is not to say asking questions is bad, but it is so easy to pull up some of the shit you guys ask for. some people get called slurs directly, targeted for being too black or not black enough, attacked for their features and etc and someone mentioned this before but the only people that care in those situations are other black people themselves. white people will have blm in their bio but turn the other way the minute some anon starts acting up in their mutuals’ inbox, calling them a dark1e because they felt confident enough to post some selfies. and then you get sad when we dont go to you for any kind of support?

i’ve stated sometimes that asking me questions on issues and things is okay, but one of the main reasons i say that is because whether i say it or not, i’ll be asked questions and expected to know everything and i am your personal walking encyclopedia and ofc it’s natural for me to have all this information in my head, as if i didn’t research it myself. but then i think about the numerous amounts of people that specifically say not to ask them this shit because it really does tire you out, that they don’t want to have to deal with this in any space but they still get them.

and then the ones that don’t even know themself so people will use them as an example and say “well this person didn’t know and they’re ‘marginalized identity’ so it should be fine for me too”. good god just apologize, show that you really care, change your behavior and move on. do you think it was fun being asked the statistics for george floyd’s and other black peoples death in class? that you were being inclusive and giving me a chance to show off my intelligence, to prove to others that i really had something up here and you were my greatest star eyes white friend that gave me that chance? i cant close my posts like this properly but i want you to think about that shit and actually ask yourself if you’d do that. a lot of you will read this and think “i’m not that type of racist” “i don’t have those deep seated prejudices in me” yes you do. you just haven’t been called out on it.

for all the shit ive dealt with above, if i’ve ever talked to you about this before dont come to me to apologize i do not need it and you are not the only person i’ve received this from. i guarantee you that there’s about 20 other people i’ve thought about while writing this post considering i’m a black person in the real world, so keep your guilt to yourself an deal with it

white people don’t add on to this

#important #antiblackness #george floyd #death mention #ok to rb #more than ok but #here it is 😇#ill rb this everyday if i have to

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imaginedigimon · 4 years

Note

u got any lgbtq+ hcs for any of the main 12 adventure and 02 kids?

🤔 Hmm...

Now Anon, I’m warning you: I’m probably not going to give you what you want for this. But I’m going to try.

I REALLY HOPE I DON’T FUCK THIS UP, FRIENDS *stressing out a bit I will not lie*

LGBTQ+ Headcanons for 01 + 02 Gang

Tai [Taichi]

Doesn’t know the meaning of the word “straight” except in terms of line segments in math (but even then, he’s a little lost)

He probably saw the pride flag for the first time when he was 14 and because it reminded him of the Crests thought, “I CAN GET BEHIND THAT”

When he learned the real meaning of pride and the LGBTQ+ community, he was even more ecstatic

Has definitely beaten up some homophobes before

And transphobes

He’s beaten up a lot of people in general

Realized after a while that he’s pansexual himself and started painting his face with the pan flag everyday

Will not deny that he has a thing for Matt and Sora at the same time and is happy if they’re happy but would really like to kiss them both pls

Matt [Yamato]

He most certainly questioned his own gender for a while, though he can’t pinpoint when it started

Gabumon told him it didn’t matter what he identified as, they’d always be partners anyway, so that really helped him a lot

It also helped that Tai was willing to beat people’s asses for him

Has also beaten up some homophobes and transphobes (Tai has been the one to drag him away from some fights)

Wears pins of all the pride flags at all times because fuck you haters

Also would like to kiss Tai, just like once or twice or a million times

Identifies as bisexual most likely

Sora

Doesn’t mention it a lot, but Mimi was probably her first kiss (by accident...OR WAS IT?)

She was the type of person who, because she grew up in a very hetero-normative world, wasn’t sure what it meant to like a girl

Probably asked Tai when she was 15 and still thinking about Mimi’s hair and lips when he explained to her that it was perfectly normal

She never forgot that conversation

Has continuously questioned her identity and orientation throughout the years, though only Biyomon has been privy to this struggle

Finally settled on saying she’s queer because she’s not much for labels (especially when she’s in a constant state of questioning)

Definitely asked Mimi to kiss her again just so it wouldn’t be an accident

Izzy [Koshiro]

Always a kid before his time, knew how to explain all aspects of pride to everyone else before they even knew what the LGBTQ+ community was

Has PowerPoints to make things clearer

Around age 17 or 18, he started asking that everyone use he/him or they/them pronouns, and this hasn’t changed since

Everyone said “a’ight” because they love him no matter what

Has always had some kind of romantic feelings for just about everyone in the group, but nothing beyond that

This poor sweetie pie cried the night he realized he was asexual and called Joe, who said in the most intense voice he’d ever heard, “You think that matters to us? We love you, Izzy, and don’t you ever forget that”

Has decided Joe is the coolest guy ever

Started some social media account where it’s nothing but pictures of Tai with various pride symbols painted on his face and it’s blown up

Mimi

Unlike Sora, she didn’t think much about the kiss

She had already accepted that she liked girls by that point

Definitely had a crush on Yolei too, though she played it cool

YOU CANNOT TELL ME SHE DIDN’T CONSIDER MEIKO HER TRUE LOVE

Teases Izzy a lot because she has a bit of a crush on him too, though this confused her because she thought she liked girls

The day she learned the term homoflexible she thought she was dreaming

But she wasn’t

Still, Sora and Yolei and Meiko are her girls and she loves them very dearly

Has the same enthusiasm as Tai and paints the various flags on her face as well (became part of that social media account Izzy started)

You can catch her and Tai at a pride parade screaming at the top of their lungs

Joe [Jou/Jyou]

I’ll admit, he’s probably the token straight? But he’s also one of those guys who’s not afraid to tell Matt he looks handsome today

Has needed to ask Izzy a lot of questions because he’s like me and wants to know and not offend anyone because he’s ignorant or doesn’t know something

Had a moment similar to me where he wondered if he really was straight

Decided he still was, but would support anyone and everyone because that’s just the guy he is

You know how he becomes a doctor? He most CERTAINLY helps with transitioning whenever he can because he’s a GOOD. DOCTOR.

Doesn’t beat up haters, but gives them a death glare that’s just as effective

Wore around a rainbow doctor’s coat because he COULD and no one tried to stop him because they knew he’d quit on the spot

Takeru [T.K.]

Been the guy to say “respect LGBTQ+ rights or die by my sword” or something like that

Lowkey had a crush on Angemon and Angewomon simulanteously and could NOT for the life of him explain why that was

Never told either of them this though

Or Kari

Definitely didn’t tell Kari

Okay yes, Tai is his big brother, but he definitely had a crush on the guy for about 2 weeks before he met Kari and everything changed

Hasn’t told either of them this

Like Sora, has only said he identifies as queer - he’d like to figure it out/delve deeper but is too busy flirting with everyone to care

Brings 5 different dates to his brother’s concerts at the same time and they all have to vie for his attention - it’s usually whoever says the most positive things about his brother

Has done at least 6 drag shows so far and let me tell you - KILLS IT every time

Kari is his forever girl but keeps winking at Ken just to make him blush

Kari [Hikari]

Also had a crush on Angewomon like how could she NOT

Also had crushes on Matt, Izzy, Mimi, and Sora (but not Joe for some reason)

When she realized her feelings for T.K. she got really really nervous (because of all his dates, you see)

Was also confused because she was pretty confused about her range of crushes over the years

Tai came out as pan to her first and she realized that sounded a lot like her

She’s a pan baby and she’s proud of it (and thanks her brother for supporting her)

Gave a rainbow pin to T.K. for his birthday and in return he kissed her

They go to ALL the pride events and nothing can stop them

Occasionally uses they/them pronouns on days she’s questioning

Davis [Daisuke]

Tai was his first love and you cannot change my mind about this

Meeting Kari was like meeting a Tai Who Would Notice Him and that was pretty rad

But he also likes her because of her, too

The world kinda stopped when he met Ken, though

Like damn, look at those soccer skills

I’m gonna be real, I think Davis is soccersexual (or footballsexual for non-Muricans)

Them soccer players be really hot though

Always has questions about the community, but never retains the answers

The PowerPoints, unfortunately, do not help

Eventually gave up and said, “I’M A DUMBASS BUT I SUPPORT YOU ALL”

They tried to tell him he should at least know what he’s talking about

(We’re still working on that)

Wears rainbow shirts with rainbow pants and it’s very atrocious but very appreciated

He is gay. He sometimes does crimes. We accept him anyway.

[T.K. asked him if he wanted to go to a drag show, he said “okay?” and really really loved it now he goes all the time]

Yolei [Miyako]

Mimi is hot, Ken is hot, Kari is hot, Matt’s kinda hot, everyone’s hot

She’s never been able to fully accept this because how is everyone so hot

Mimi was her first love, and Ken was her first boyfriend

She never forgot the firsts

Attracted to any and everyone it seems

She likes to call herself a frying pan and it makes everyone facepalm a little bit

Constantly dresses in the colors on the pan flag because she looks GOOD in them and it’s a way to remind everyone not to mess with her or her community

Tries to pretend she doesn’t know Mimi and Tai when she’s at a pride event and they’re out here acting like fools

But she also loves how unerringly supportive they are

Cody [Iori]

He was the first one everyone came out to, like for some reason he’s that guy

Literally the first person to offer you support

One day he told everyone he was transgender, and while they were surprised, they also didn’t react the way he was expecting

They actually hugged him immediately and said, “But don’t worry we love love love you” and Tai started painting the trans flag on Cody’s face until Cody said, “Guys please fuck off for a sec”

When he becomes a lawyer, he becomes the type of lawyer to defend anyone who was arrested on basis of race/identity/orientation/gender like the boss he is

Suspects he might be ace but hasn’t really delved into it much

He’s too busy scolding Davis for doing dumb things

Ken

Can everyone stop being hot for a sec? -direct quote from Ken himself

He’s in love with all the 02 kids and he’s accepted this

Yolei somehow stole his heart, but T.K.’s winks send it aflutter

He wants them both to stop (but they won’t)

Was completely unaware that Davis also liked him (even though it was really obvious?)

He identifies as bi and, like Izzy, uses they/them pronouns interchangeably with he/him

One of the good detectives on the force. Will bust your ass if you say any offensive slurs about anyone. [Has gotten suspended a few times for doing this BUT IT WAS FUCKING WORTH IT.]

Always the one on duty when Davis gets arrested for his crimes and it’s hecka exhausting

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Uhm... did I do good? I’ll admit, I was a little nervous since I myself am straight and cisgender (or cishet, as I’ve learned is the term) 😥 😥

Anon, I really do hope I did a good job!

And if I didn’t you can roast me in the flames of Meramon Hell

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edwardforkhands · 3 years

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Asking for help to become not transphobic

This is a long rant, very unorganized. Sometimes I don’t know where I’m going with it. But basically, I’ve been on terfblr in secret for the last 3 years or so, and I’ve become transphobic during that time. I want help to try and change. If anyone could point me to any articles, documentaries, studies, etc to help me get out, I would appreciate it. If you can add in your own two cents, that would be appreciated as well. I’m not sure how much I’ll respond to replies or reblogs on this post, or DMs, as I’m pretty shy and non confrontational (hence why I was on terfblr in secret). But I will read everything!

Basically I agree with a lot of things terf believe, but one thing I want is to find a way to escape the transphobic side of everything. I want to be a radical feminist minus the trans exclusionary part. I’m pretty leftist and progressive, but I hate being bigoted in this way. I almost feel like someone that’s fallen down a neo nazi rabbit hole, in the ways that I have to hide my true beliefs from friends and family. The problem is, I just can’t find a way to for my brain to make peace with a lot of principles of present-day trans activism.

I feel like the only way to make progress is to first just flat out say I’m transphobic. In many ways I’m not, but in a lot of ways I am. That way when I ask my questions, people aren’t just like “that’s really transphobic of you to ask” and shut me down. I want to be kinder, but I need to be able to say what I think. Like how you need to be able to write out your math in order to find any mistakes. But the way things are now, my math looks perfectly fine to me.

So that everyone understands where I’m coming from, here’s a summary of my beliefs:

I agree with terfs/swerfs on a lot of things. I believe there are 2 sexes, gender is a social construct that is not at all innate, women face female-specific oppression, sex work is dehumanizing, there is no such thing as a genital fetish, I think in recent years that some people are transitioning when they not “actually trans,” etc. And there are some more petty things I get annoyed at like saying “uterus owners” or “pregnant people.” I also disagree with the term swerf (though I don’t think terf/swerfs are slurs). I want to protect women and sex workers. To me, this is like calling people who are against child labor “child exclusionary human rights activists.” In my mind I’m trying to do a good thing for them. Sex work is the commodification of consent— which imo can’t be commodified.

But then on the other hand there are a lot of topics on which terfs would disagree with me. I think we should respect peoples’ pronouns, trans people should be able to use what bathroom they want, using someone’s deadname is rude, for many people medical transition is necessary, there are cases where it is appropriate for children to transition, and even if gender roles were totally nonexistent, there would still be trans people.

Here’s where I think I started to get sucked up into “terf” ideology: I think dysphoria is necessary to be trans. I think this was the “gateway drug” that made me into a terf. This stems from my belief that there are two sexes, gender is fake, and your biology is tied to being trans. My understanding of dysphoria is this: It is a state of being dissatisfied with the sex of your body, feeling like it shouldn’t be the way it is. Like how some people feel like a limb shouldn’t exist, and they want to cut it off (I can see how this analogy is a bit transphobic, I just don’t see how else to explain my understanding). Dysphoria is innate, and would exist no matter how men and women are viewed in society. If you don’t have dysphoria, then what is the point of being trans? Is it to change the gender roles you have to/don’t have to adhere to? Could that not be solved by being gnc? And wouldn’t it be more progressive to push to abolish gender? How is transitioning without dysphoria anything other than reinforcing gender roles?

I’m not trying to be bigoted, these are genuine questions and concerns I have that keep me in terf circles.

There are also just so many things my eyes have been opened to on terfblr. Why porn and sex work is harmful to women, why makeup and sexualized clothing is bad, how to read between the lines in advertising targeting women, seeing just how much woman-hate there is everywhere and how acceptable it is in society. These are beliefs I could never see myself abandoning.

Just a heads up: I use the phrase “trans positive” as an antonym to the word “transphobic” (can’t think of a better one atm).

But with the whole trans issue, that’s where I feel like I might have crawled into a hole that I want to get myself out of. I don’t like that in being a terf, many would consider me to be a hateful and bigoted person. I want to be progressive, and on the right side of history. But there are so many things that I see in modern day trans activism that just don’t make sense to me logically, and some that I view as actively harmful. Like reinforcing gender roles, or eliminating the ability to talk about sex-specific and female-specific issues. It seems every few months things that were once considered trans positive to believe are now transphobic. Most of the time, progress like this is wonderful! It’s good when realize they have racist, sexist, homophobic, etc microagressions and work towards becoming better people. That’s great! But a lot of the times the new transphobic things just don’t make sense. For example, I realized saying things like “bitch” or “cunt” casually was sexist, and it made sense. But if I were to say your sexuality is based on someone’s sex, not their gender, that’s transphobic because it implies trans women aren’t real women, or trans men aren’t real men. If they pass, society can see them as being men or women. But biologically, they aren’t. That’s why the word “trans” goes in front of their name. It just doesn’t make sense to me how it’s transphobic to have a sexuality, so having what’s basically a “gender-ality” is the only acceptable thing now. Obviously it would be rude to go around telling every trans person “actually, you’re not a REAL man/woman!” randomly. But when the context permits, like with dating or for female-specific issues, I just don’t see how it’s transphobic to acknowledge a very relevant biological reality.

Trying to say anything relating to feminist issues in a non-transphobic way feels to me like walking on eggshells to escape a maze. It would be easy to give up and just say everything’s related to gender, sex is a social construct yet somehow gender’s innate, and go with the flow but I just can’t if it doesn’t make sense to me. I know I don’t have to understand everything about everyone else’s experiences, especially if it’s not hurting other people, but I feel like in some ways trans activism nowadays is.

I just wish all this made sense to me and I could happily say I support everything trans positive. I don’t want to be transphobic. In some ways I’m not, but in so many ways I am, and I want to change. But I want things to make sense at the same time. Currently it feels like terf beliefs align with common sense, while believing a lot of principles of trans activism takes so much mental gymnastics.

Obviously if you don’t want to respond you don’t have to. It’s not your responsibility to change me— it’s my responsibility to change myself, and fix my beliefs. But if anyone is willing to listen or help, that would be appreciated. I feel like a lot of terfs start out where I did— initially trans positive, but had just one or two issues that brought them to terfblr, and they come out the other side transphobic. Hopefully helping me will help at least one other person down the line.

I feel terrible interacting with trans people, knowing I follow and listen to so many terfs. I have so many conflicting feelings and beliefs and I wish things could balance out the right way.

#tw transphobes #tw transphobia #tw transmysoginy #tw transfobia #tw trans discourse #tw transmeds #transphobia #transphobic #terfs #terfblr #op is a terf #including the tw tags so that people who don’t wanna see this don’t have to #felt good to get this off my chest holy shit #swerf #swerf mention #tw terfs #tw swerfs

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hotttanstakes · 3 years

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An Open Apology to Every Other Trans Person I went to High school With

This is an annoyingly long post because I need to get this off my chest.

When I transferred my sophomore year, my friend group was a few cis women, a trans guy (me), and a trans-masc nonbinary person who soon after I transferred identified again as a cis woman. Being around entirely cis people after having to leave a school because of the rampant transphobia was both intimidating as well as affirming to me. I have always felt like being trans made me have significantly less value as a human than any cis person. I never even knew trans masculine people existed until relatively recently, so I always felt invisible. Having cis friends made me feel like I could live a normal life and be seen as important. I still felt like such a burden to them, and like I didn’t belong. They would say transphobic things, and I had no one to back me up, so I just nodded along. I already felt like such a weight on their shoulders, I was scared that if I disagreed with them they would decide I was too much trouble and cut me off. It was okay when it was vague discourse statements, but then it turned into knowingly misgendering other trans people at school, and calling them “trenders.” I always corrected them when they misgendered someone, but they would always get defensive and convince me why misgendering them was okay. I’m so sorry for nodding along to that. I had way too much social anxiety to go to clubs alone but they never wanted to come with me to GSA club, so I hadn’t really had the opportunity to meet any other trans people. I had nobody to talk to because my family is less than supportive, they were my only friends, and the school guidance department was a total bust when it came to supporting trans people. As many trans men do, I fell into Kalvin Garrah’s trap and learned to hate myself enough to excuse blatant transphobia. When one of my friends said she didn’t think that a trans woman in our school shouldn’t be on some forum page for girls at our school a year or so later, I finally snapped out of it. I tried to challenge it, but they were all in agreement and I was outnumbered. That’s probably what I’m sorry for the most. Trans men have an obligation to stand up for trans women, nonbinary people, and all trans femme people, and although I wanted to, I failed. I started to stand up for trans people more and more, but my friends only got more frustrated with me. I wished I had trans friends, but I knew it was all my fault that I didn’t. I was forcibly outed to my extremely transphobic/homophobic parents, and they just brushed it off because to them it didn’t matter. They also brushed off a lot of intense trauma I went through during these years which may have to do with them seeing me as less of a person due to my being trans, but I think that’s a separate post. I finally made the decision to disassociate from them when they said the T slur and said that I was a trans man because society made me be one. I didn’t care that I had no one else, I figured it was better to be alone than to be with people who have a complete misunderstanding of my entire existence and couldn’t be bothered about whether I lived or died. I finally ended up making trans friends right before school shut down due to COVID. We haven’t talked since I graduated, and it was only a few short weeks, but I honestly feel like that was the best few weeks of high school I had. I can’t believe I let people talk so poorly of my own community because I wanted to be accepted. I can’t articulate the guilt I felt talking to a trans person who was repeatedly misgendered by someone I had just called a friend.

The point I’m coming to is that we, as a community, need to do better. No matter how bad the internalized transphobia is, it’s still your responsibility to do right by your community. If you’re a trans person, particularly young trans person reading this, please understand that when facing transphobia, cis people will never be the answer. Cis people can be very supportive, but they can make you miserable just as easily. We would all be in a much better place right now if there were a stronger call for solidarity between trans men, trans women, nonbinary people, gnc trans/nb people, etc. rather than constant finger pointing and shaming.

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