#Like i have gotten to the point where i dont even care that he lied | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

krappykawa · 4 years

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fake dating headcanons with atsumu, oikawa, and kuroo

ANON ASKED: “hi i really like your writing 🥺🥺 could i request fake dating with atsumu, oikawa, and kuroo? like they told their teams that they have a girlfriend but they dont lmao so they ask one of their classmates to pretend to be their gf so the team can meet her? and they end up falling for her along the way :)) i look forward to reading more of ur works!! 💖”

atsumu x f!reader, oikawa x f!reader, kuroo x f!reader

genre. fluff

warnings. language

word count. 6.3k

note. DAMN this one got away from me ... 6.3k words for a headcanon post ...... sorry anon i’m not sure if you wanted a long post but i mean, here we are lol

note 2. had to repost because something was up with the tags lol i hope it works fine this time

ATSUMU.

- the team has a favorite twin and it’s osamu, we all know it

- one day after practice, the team finds out that one of the first-years managed to get a girlfriend

- most of the inarizaki vb team is single at that point in time so it starts a conversation about relationships

- somewhere in the conversation, aran says, “osamu, man. I can’t believe ya haven’t gotten a girlfriend yet. yer easily one of the best-looking people in the school.”

- osamu just shrugs, but atsumu’s like “huh??”

- “hey ‘samu and i have the same face. don’t cha mean that we’re some of the best-looking people in the school??”

- the guys in the locker room exchange glances

- aran‘s like “look, atsumu. don’t blow up on me or anything, but most girls don’t really want to date you.” (keep in mind that aran’s strictly speaking about the girls that aren’t a part of the miya twins fan club)

- “and why the hell not?”

- at this point, aran’s looking at literally everyone in the room and pleading with his eyes for help because he doesn’t want to start a fight with atsumu

- suna takes pity on aran and says, “hate to break it you, miya, but girls don’t want to date a guy who’s a massive asshole”

- now, atsumu could care less if the entire goddamn world thinks he’s an asshole, but it rubs him the wrong way that his teammates think that osamu’s a better catch than he is

- sibling rivalry pride or whatever

- so atsumu goes “i think my girlfriend would disagree because oh will ya look at that, she’s dating me!”

- he was most definitely not dating anyone

- osamu raises an eyebrow at him because to his knowledge, atsumu didn’t have a girlfriend

- “since when did you have a girlfriend?”

- osamu looks at atsumu with knowing eyes and smirks. “yeah sumu, who’s this girlfriend of yours? I don’t think i’ve met her yet.”

- atsumu knows he’s gotten himself in some deep shit

- but still he’s still full of pride, so he says, “i’ll bring her by to practice tomorrow.”

- now miya atsumu has a dilemma because there are some things he just shouldn’t lie about (because now he’ll never live it down if he can’t figure out a way to get himself out of this one)

- atsumu knows that he’s got that fanclub that would probably be more than willing to date him, but the thought of being in their presence for longer than two seconds makes his skin crawl because he doesn’t think he could handle the excessive screaming

- so that night he decides to go to the bakery down the street that he frequents because they have some of the best macarons in town

- you’re one of the bakers at that bakery that works the shift when he usually comes in for his weekly macarons so you two are acquainted

- you also go to inarizaki, so you hear the rumors that circulate around atsumu, but you don’t really pay much attention to them because he’s not that bad whenever he comes into the bakery

- like sometimes if he tries to only order 2 macarons but notices that there are only 5 macarons left, he’ll buy them all just to make your life easier

- when he comes in that day, he has this troubled look on his face. “hey y/n. can i just have my usual? oh and an iced matcha.”

- you like to keep tabs on your regulars and what they order, so when he orders an iced matcha, you know that something’s probably up (he never orders drinks from there because he said that his brother would kill him if he didn’t bring him home a drink too and having to carry the two drinks up to their apartment is hassle enough)

- you’re in the middle of making his drink when you decide to ask him what’s up “everything alright?”

- it’s almost time to close up and you two are the only two left so you figured you had time for small talk

- “i may have outright lied to my team about havin’ a girlfriend.”

- “you don’t?” that surprises you because so many girls at your school have a crush on the miya twins (you would know because your best friend is practically in love with osamu)

- when atsumu shakes his head dejectedly, you don’t quite understand what he’s so down for

- “you do know that there are like 50 girls that are practically lining up to date you right?”

- “yeah, but they’d expect a real relationship and i’m no good at those.”

- “why not?”

- “i’m too argumentative, let's just say, plus i’ve been told that i kinda come off as an asshole.”

- “and volleyball right?” you would know since he always comes into the bakery after a practice and he looks like he’s both dead and alive

- when you hand him his matcha and packet of macarons, he pauses

- “listen, don’t take this the wrong way but yer single right?”

- you almost smile to yourself because wow for a guy so attractive, his way with words isn’t great

- “i am.”

- he stands there for a good 20 seconds just looking at you with that look in his eyes that tells you that he’s trying to ask you something but he doesn’t know how to do it

- “you want me to act as your fake girlfriend don’t you?”

- cue atsumu chuckle @%EUTYDJBCJWER)*&# hhhhfs

- “ya know, i’m kinda seein’ why i get called an asshole all the time. it doesn’t sound as great when ya’ say it like that.”

- you agree to pretend to be his girlfriend, but on the condition that your best friend will be able to tag along if osamu’s gonna be there

- and that’s the start of it

- you visit his practice the next day before work and his team looks at you in surprise because they were 100% sure that having a girlfriend was just another one of atsumu’s lies

- they all kinda stare at you a little extra too because you’re really pretty

- “aye, get yer asses back to volleyball and stop starin’ at my girl like that.”

- you know it’s all fake, but him saying that kinda makes you blush anyways

- when you first agreed to fake dating him, you weren’t expecting that you’d have to spend too much time with him (he did tell you that he wasn’t looking for a real relationship) but that changes because osamu’s insistent that atsumu should at least try to be a good boyfriend and eat lunch with you and stuff

- you’re both aware that osamu doesn’t buy your little arrangement one bit

- atsumu’s got this raging pride when it comes to his twin brother, so he actually listens because now he’s made it his personal mission to convince osamu that you and him are actually dating

- it takes a while for you two to get into the hang of it, but once you do, it’s like a regular routine

- you and your best friend eat lunch with the twins (you and atsumu both watch as your best friend fumbles her way into talking with osamu), you drop by before work to give atsumu a kiss on the cheek before practice, he drops by the bakery after practice nearly everyday, and you come to his games while wearing a jersey that he lent you

- his teammates like you a lot and tease atsumu all the time because they claim that you’re way too good for him

- surprisingly, he always gets a little protective when they say things like that and always slips an arm around your waist

- one day when you’re over at his apartment, you help atsumu learn how to make macarons (with some help from osamu)

- it takes a while because he would get mad at the macarons when they would come out in weird shapes

- “stupid macarons! they got it out for me i’m tellin’ ya! they’re being like that on purpose!”

- LITERALLY A CHILD

- you learn to like that about him though

- dates with him are usually on the weekends (you both drag osamu and your best friend out with you) and it’s always something fun that osamu suggests because atsumu wasn’t joking when he said he sucks at real relationships

- most of these dates consist of holding hands as you walk around the streets until osamu sees a restaurant he wants to try out

- he always insists on feeding you at least once in your meal

- he also loves doing the walrus-chopsticks face?? (he only started doing it because he liked hearing you laugh)

- as time passes, you two start going on dates without osamu and your best friend (atsumu always claims that it’s because he wants to show osamu up, but you start to notice that osamu doesn’t even find out about these dates most of the time)

- you secretly like these dates better than those with osamu and your best friend because atsumu feels more at ease and will develop a softer tone around you during these dates

- eventually, he starts to always greet you with a forehead kiss whenever you’re in public (you’re not sure if he does it just because his brother is watching, or if maybe he might be starting to like you)

- you try to make your brain forget that most of the time, he kisses your forehead before osamu even walks in

- one day after practice, you’re waiting for him because you didn’t have a shift at the bakery that day

- he walks out of the club room looking mildly pissed and you’re a little wary

- but then he gets to where you’re standing and just pulls your waist towards him and full on kisses you

- mind you, this is your first kiss on the lips with him

- it’s not a quick peck either, like you can hear the wolf whistles from his teammates in the back and you’re left breathing hard and flushed pink afterwards

- damn if that’s what his kisses are like, you suddenly wish he’d do it more often

- “what was that for?”

- “nothin’”

- sometime in the future you find out that he did that because his teammates were once again talking about your relationship and one of them joked that atsumu paid you to pretend to be his girlfriend

- he knew that what you had wasn’t necessarily real, but he just had the urge to kiss you then (he swears to you that he doesn’t know why)

- he does know why. it was because it was starting to slip his mind that your relationship was fake and the reminder made him a little mad at himself

- he realizes that maybe he’s fallen in love with you when osamu brings it up

- atsumu had asked for osamu’s help because he wanted to surprise you by making you mochis for your upcoming four month anniversary of being his fake girlfriend (typing this out was so funny, this man is so whipped he doesn’t know it)

- “ya know, when i first met y/n, i was sure that it was all fake and that you’d slip up about it one day. i guess i was wrong.”

- atsumu doesn’t say anything to that because in his head he’s trying to convince himself that “no. this is all still fake.” but it’s hard to convince himself of that when his hands are covered in the rice flower that he’s using to make your favorite dessert for your four months of faking being together

- he tries not to think about what osamu said when he gives you the gifts later that night

- he tries not to think about it when he gets that funny feeling that he’s been feeling for a while now when he sees the way you light up upon opening the box of mochis

- he most definitely tries not to think about it when you accidentally give him your second kiss of the relationship because you were caught up in the spur of the moment

- it’s on the way home back to his apartment that night that he realizes he’s fucked

- because good god he’s fallen for you

- he tries to break it off after that

- you’re confused at how sudden it is, but you let him break it off because at that point you’re already in love with him and are still too scared to say it because you keep remembering how he always said that he didn’t want a real relationship

- IDIOTS IN LOVE YOU'RE BOTH SO .

- he tries to go back to normal after that

- but for the love of everything he just . can’t

- his eyes always linger a little too long on the door right before practice because you would always come see him before going to work

- his feet would instinctively move in the direction of the bakery after practices until he realizes what he’s doing and forces himself to go home

- his eyes would scan for your figure wearing his jersey during games until he remembers that you probably weren’t there and that you most definitely wouldn’t be wearing his jersey

- he wants to kick himself because the reason he asked you to be his fake girlfriend in the first place was because he didn’t want a real relationship

- yet here he was. wallowing because if there’s anything more he wants, it’s a real relationship with you

- osamu gets fed up with him eventually

- “take yer ass to the bakery right after practice. i’m not letting you into the apartment until you see her.”

- and surprisingly, he actually listens to his twin brother

- he walks into the bakery for the first time in a while and says “hey y/n. can i just have my usual? oh and an iced matcha.”

- you look up at him then because you vividly remember that night. how could you not?

- you’re in the middle of making his drink when you decide to ask him what’s up “everything alright?”

- “i may have outright lied to myself about loving you.”

- you nearly drop the drink in your hands

- “‘tsumu? what are you on about?”

- “i know i said that i’m no good at real relationships. but i’ve found that i want to learn to be good.”

- a pause

- “i want to learn with ya.”

OIKAWA.

- this poor boy is always the butt of the jokes that come from his team

- seriously though. it’s always “tease oikawa day” (he teases them back so it’s all good)

- but one day, they’re all in the locker room when hanamaki brings up this girl that he’s planning on asking out because he’s not sure how to do it

- oikawa, being the little shit that he is, goes “step one, makki. have my face. step two, have my amazing personality. step three, ask her out.”

- he barely ducks in time to miss the shoe that comes flying towards his head

- “makki! such unbecoming behavior! my advice is perfect!”

- matsukawa snorts and says “perfect advice my ass. you can’t even get anyone to like you. let alone go out with you, crappykawa.”

- “don’t spread lies, mattsun.” oikawa clicks his tongue like a mother scolding his child. “or do you seem to forget the dozens of confessions i get on the daily along with the girls that you three complain about all the time because ugh shittykawa’s gonna make us late if he keeps talking to them” (he’s so dramatic lol he says that last part in this weird, whiny voice)

- iwaizumi scoffs. “doesn’t count when you reject every single one.”

- “i do not!”

- “right. right. as if you don’t make them cry because you’re so nice about rejecting them too.” (oikawa frowns at that one because he doesn’t mean to make them cry)

- “yeah, shittykawa, you’re pretty bad at love in general. i’d die before listening to your advice.” (this one is from matsukawa)

- “there’s also the fact that the girlfriend’s you did have all broke up with you because you would rather cuddle with a volleyball than cuddle with them.” (this one is from hanamaki)

- oikawa scowls at them “i don’t cuddle my volleyball.”

- “sure you don’t. just like you most definitely don’t have a name for it either.”

- “leave iwa-chan the second out of this!” (he drew an angry face on his volleyball too because he claims it looks like iwaizumi)

- iwaizumi groans. “i hate you. so so much.”

- at this point, oikawa knows they’re right, but he’s also really prideful. “and besides. i would suggest taking my advice because i got a girlfriend just today!”

- he most definitely did not

- “sure you did. hey mattsun, i bet a week tops until she breaks up with him.”

- “nah i’ll bet five days.”

- after practice, oikawa came up with a plan for the next day to get himself out of the hole he dug for himself

- he usually got confessions before school, so he told iwaizumi that he was going to school early to practice and instead waited for a girl to confess to him

- but the moment he saw this second-year walk up to him with a little box, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it

- he couldn’t do that to this innocent girl

- and he tries to say yes to her. he really does.

- but he can practically hear his older sister’s voice yelling at him about how “even when you get popular and get confessions from people left and right, i don’t want you leading anyone on. you only accept a confession if you actually like them.”

- he’s probably more scared of his sister than he is of his own mother, so he says no to that second-year, even when she starts to frown and walk away

- he’s leaning against the gym and rubbing the bridge of his nose when he hears you

- “everything alright?”

- you two were pretty close because he found out that you had a crush on iwaizumi in your second year and tried to set you two up (it didn’t work because he’s pretty bad at being a wingman)

- even when iwaizumi rejected you, oikawa had already grown to like your presence, so you two stayed friends despite how his best friend broke your heart

- “y/n-chan! what are you doing here so early?”

- “just returning a book to the library before the librarian knocks down my door and kicks my ass for having an overdue library book. what are you doing here so early?”

- “would you believe me if i said that i was practicing volleyball?”

- you look him up and down, and the smell of fresh cologne reaches your nostrils. his uniform is neatly put together.

- “looking like that? no, no i would not.”

- “well, what would you believe?”

- “i don’t know .. the truth maybe?”

- “the truth is embarrassing and is defamation to my good name.” that makes you raise your brow at him.

- “okay now i only want to hear the truth. i will not accept anything but the truth. now tell me, what kind of embarrassment have you proved yourself to be this morning?”

- “so mean, y/n-chan! now i see why you so very adored our precious iwa-chan.”

- you groan because you don’t want to remember that rejection. “oh just hurry up and embarrass yourself instead of embarrassing me.”

- “but it’s quite embarrassing.”

- “come on, spit it out.”

- “i may or may not have told iwa-chan, makki, and mattsun that i have a girlfriend when i don’t have one.”

- you look at him like he’s the dumbest person you’ve ever met, because at that moment, you really believed that he was. “couldn’t you just … i don’t know … accept one of your many, many confessions?”

- oikawa tells you about his fear of his sister and the second-year that just confessed to him

- you find yourself admiring his sister because she’s probably the one person on this planet that can humble oikawa tooru (the next person to be able to do so will be you, but you don’t know that yet)

- after hearing his explanation you get an idea. “can’t you ask someone to fake being in a relationship with you? you know, so you don’t get the angry sister devil/angel thing on your shoulder?” (LOL if you don’t get what the angel/devil thing that i’m talking about is, it’s like when you have an imaginary angel and a devil that sits on your shoulders and criticizes every choice you make)

- “are you offering, y/n?” he has that shit-eating grin on his face again, so you know he’s mostly joking

- “hmm, i don’t know. i think you’ll have to formally ask me to be your fake girlfriend. it’s only polite after all.”

- oikawa blinks for a second because he didn’t actually think you were serious. “what?”

- “are you going to ask me to be your fake girlfriend or not? maybe throw in a flower and i’ll say yes.”

- oh. oh.

- well, he wasn’t going to let what might be his only opportunity to get someone to fake date him pass by

- he looks around and sees a small flower on the ground and picks it

- he takes both your hands and puts the flower in one of them before saying, “y/n-chan will you, take me, oikawa tooru, as your loving pretend boyfriend, and save me from irrevocable embarrassment?”

- you laugh in his face because he’s trying so hard not to laugh through his “proposal.”

- “minus points for not getting on one knee but i guess i do.”

- you mainly did it because you may have already gotten rejected by iwaizumi, but you did like the possibility of being friends with him, and fake dating oikawa would probably let you do that

- you also kind of felt bad for oikawa, knowing that he wasn’t exaggerating how embarrassing it would be if his teammates found out he was lying

- when you and oikawa walk up to the seijoh third-years while holding hands, makki and mattsun are jostling each other while iwaizumi looks mildly surprised

- “see matsun! pay up!”

- oikawa and you both look in surprise as mattsun reluctantly shoves a few bills into makki’s awaiting hand

- oikawa’s looking between them both. “what bet did you use me for this time?”

- “i bet mattsun that you and y/n secretly liked each other.”

- blink blink

- iwaizumi sees the mildly awkward situation brewing so he says, “anyways, y/n if you ever get tired of this dumbass, you’re more than welcome into our group. we’ll just kick oikawa out.”

- after that, you and oikawa fall into a dating routine easily (you have a pretty busy schedule too so both you and oikawa understand each other schedules well)

- usually this is where oikawa’s relationships fail. he spends so much time with volleyball and the team that he doesn’t really spend time with his significant others

- it’s different with you though. maybe it’s the fact that the stakes aren’t so high because it’s only a fake relationship after all, or maybe it’s because unlike his past significant others, you don’t mind spending most of your time and “dates” with the other seijoh third-years, or maybe it’s because he remembers that locker room conversation and he wants to prove to makki, mattsun, and iwaizumi that he can be a good boyfriend (even if it’s a good fake boyfriend)

- dates with oikawa are usually laid-back because he’s tired from practice (so like walks in the park, getting ice cream, or study dates where you don’t get much done because you spend most of it just laughing and cooking in his kitchen)

- you find that he’s secretly a decent cook (the only thing keeping from saying that he’s a good cook is because he can’t cut vegetables for his life, and he also managed to accidently burn the onions you were trying to caramelize).

- neither of you acknowledge the fact that since nobody’s there to see those dates, you two technically don’t have to go on them since it’s only a fake relationship

- oh and takeru LOVES you

- seriously. he thinks you’re probably the coolest person ever (he tells you one day that he thinks you’re even cooler than oikawa and oikawa is a pouting mess the rest of your day. you can only pull him out of his slump when you jump on his back and force him to run to the bakery and buy milk bread)

- sometimes you’ll come with oikawa when he needs to watch takeru

- as takeru teaches you how to receive a volleyball, oikawa will watch you two with a little smile on his face (this loser is so whipped like man people passing by reminisce on how they were young and in love once because oikawa looks at you like that. oikawa doesn’t notice that he’s doing it though.)

- you sometimes spend time at his house with iwaizumi or on select days just by yourself (mostly for study dates or for watching weird sci-fi movies that oikawa seems to love)

- since you’re at his house so often, oikawa’s mother takes a liking to you because “you finally got her boy to care about something that isn’t volleyball.”

- it’s when oikawa groans a “moooom” in response that you start to feel those pesky butterflies

- oikawa will run up to you after games and just hold you tightly (he tells himself that it’s because his fan club and the team are watching, but really it’s because he can’t thank you enough for being there because he just plays better when you’re watching)

- my god, dUDE . he has no idea that he loves you like . MAN .

- mattsun, makki, and iwaizumi always tease oikawa about how you’re so much cooler than him

- oikawa whines to you and says, “y/n-channn they’re being mean again!”

- “what do you want me to do about it?”

- oikawa pouts like the baby he is and says, “kiss,” while pointing to his cheek. you give in and a round of groans comes from mattsun and makki. oikawa looks so smug and those pesky stomach feelings come back. iwaizumi is smiling to himself.

- speaking of iwaizumi

- you two become best friends after he finds you looking dejected as you wait for oikawa to get out of practice. you confided with him about how your relationship was all pretend. you might have also told him that you may be teensy bit in love with his captain

- iwaizumi tells you that, “there are some things you just ... can’t fake. the way that shithead looks at you is one of them. trust me.”

- he also tells you that his suspicion that you and oikawa had this weird spark was what kept him from ever reciprocating your feelings and why he rejected you (oikawa literally tried being your wingman before by texting iwaizumi things like “did you see how pretty y/n was today? don’t you think she was pretty?” and “iwa-chan! y/n is so funny and that’s coming from me, so she really is funny! i think maybe you should talk to her to see what i’m talking about (≧◡≦)”)

- at this point everyone knows that you’re in love with oikawa for real (except for oikawa himself)

- everyone also knows that oikawa’s fallen for you (except for oikawa himself, and you because you refuse to believe it)

- the moment he realizes he’s in love with you is on another one of those dates that you both know you don’t have to have but still choose to have anyway

- you’re making milk bread and he’s helping to measure the ingredients when he turns around to see you covered in flour and he just kinda stops

- and he realizes

- like yeah he’s been getting that small tugging feeling with you a lot over these past few months

- but now he finally realizes it’s because he’s in love with you

- he’s staring for a long time and for a second you think he’s going to make fun of your flour-coated self, but he’s staring at you with that look and you’re confused

- “everything okay? is there something wrong? did you mess up the measurements?”

- then an idea hits him

- “something’s wrong. it’s kind of embarassing though.”

- “what is it?”

- “no but it’s really embarrassing.”

- “what .. what is it?”

- cue cheeky little grin. “i think i might’ve fallen in love with my fake girlfriend. i don’t have another flower to ask her out though. i hope she doesn’t say no.”

- you kiss him for the first time then and take pride in the fact that you get him covered in flour in the process

KUROO.

- it happened the second day that you were at the tokyo training camp

- kuroo was with bokuto and a few of the karasuno first-years when bokuto started telling the first-years that kuroo had a girlfriend because he saw kuroo helping you carry your bags the day before (listen . this man is like . clueless when it comes to emotions sometimes i’msosorry)

- kuroo got this confused look on his face because he thought he would remember getting a girlfriend. “i do?”

- “don’t you? remember the girl you were holding hands with yesterday?”

- this was all some big misunderstanding

- so basically what happened was this: you’re shinzen’s team manager and you were tasked with carrying bags of equipment to the training center. kuroo was waiting for kenma to finish talking with lev (more like trying to avoid though lmao) and noticed that you were struggling so he came over to help

- kuroo figured that bokuto must’ve seen him holding the bags for you and assumed that something must’ve been going on (or maybe he looked over for the split second when kuroo held your hand in order to transfer the bags to his hand)

- he was about to clear things up when lo and behold, you walked into the gym

- “kuroo look! it’s your girlfriend! hey, come join us!”

- bless bokuto’s soul. bless that poor, oblivious soul.

- you walked up to them and looked at kuroo like “what??”

- you remembered him from the day before, but you didn’t remember ever agreeing to being his girlfriend of any sort

- he smiled apologetically at you and asked to talk to you on the side

- “what’s going on? why did he call me your .. girlfriend?”

- “look i’m sorry, bo’s a little … i don’t know. he saw me carrying your bags yesterday and assumed. i’ll clear things up, don’t worry.”

- when you two headed back to where bokuto is standing, it was obvious that kuroo’s smooth-sailing explanation wasn’t happening anytime soon

- because lev was there, and so was yaku

- “KUROO-SENPAI? THIS IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND? SHE’S VERY PRETTY SENPAI!” (bless lev’s soul too. another part of the extremely oblivious club.)

- yaku took no hesitation in teasing kuroo. “since when does kuroo ever get any girl to like him? this is new. no offense, of course.”

- kuroo tried clearing up the air by saying, “guys- listen this has all been som-“

- hinata doesn’t let him finish either lmao “YOU’RE THE TEAM MANAGER FOR SHINZEN!” (extremely oblivious club member number 3 here)

- “a team manager, kuroo? what’d you do to get her to say yes? is she a chemistry nerd too?”

- “bo-“

- they kinda just went like that back and forth, and kuroo kept getting interrupted

- you were just laughing to the side because it was kind of funny

- you also kinda felt bad for kuroo because damn his friends had like no faith in his romantic skills at all??

- maybe that was what made you say it, but after his friends were done teasing him you said, “he’s kind of a catch though, don’t you think? nerdy and funny is a girl’s dream isn’t that what they say?”

- kuroo blinked at you because what??

- once kuroo got you alone by asking you to take a walk outside of the gym, he asked, “so … what does this make us?” (surprise, surprise, he never got the chance to tell them about the misunderstanding)

- you just shrugged because really how bad could this be? “i felt bad at how much they were teasing you, so we could keep up the fake boyfriend/girlfriend thing for the week. it shouldn’t be too bad. plus it’ll save you the embarrassment of having to tell your friends that you didn’t actually get a girlfriend.”

- you guys did pretty good for the week of the training camp

- you’d cheer him on in secret if he got a spike or a block during a practice game while simultaneously still watching shinzen’s game

- you two walked around the halls when bokuto was watching just to keep up pretenses

- you learned that he’s a major nerd during these walks, which you found really endearing

- on the last day of camp, he tried to throw pieces of broccoli in your mouth (he didn’t stop until he finally got it in after his 9th try)

- you guys initially planned to “break up” after the camp was over

- but here comes bokuto again

- “hey y/n! kuroo, akaashi, and i were gonna go out for karaoke tomorrow if you wanna join.”

- you grew to like bokuto too so you said you’d come

- it was actually a really fun night

- you and kuroo sang a duet together

- he also stole some of your ramen

- you took a video of bokuto as he serenaded akaashi

- when you guys are leaving to go home, bokuto goes “you two are so cute. y/n do me a favor and don’t break up with kuroo until after the qualifiers would you? i wanna play him at his full game.” (again. seriously, he basically is the greatest accidental wingman ever)

- “we can’t break his heart, can we?”

- “no, we can’t.”

- and so your fake relationship starts

- you don’t get to visit each other often because you don’t live in the same vicinity, but you guys text often (it’s a friend thing, you both swear to yourselves)

- on weekends when kuroo’s not spending time with kenma, he’ll ask you to meet him at a park or a cafe (you two always send selfies to bokuto during every date)

- dates with him are always really fun because he’s spontaneous and also very active so sometimes he’ll take you by the hand and just drag you places

- he is not afraid to smear different colors of ice cream on your nose and call you some obscure name from some really old movie that he may have watched that week

- he also makes you push him on the swings

- the little kids get mad because what is this rooster man doing taking up a swing when he’s so old

- you laugh at him when the kids eventually come up to him and ask if they can use the swing

- dates will usually last the whole day because you’re both fine with just walking around and randomly finding stuff to do

- with all that time spent talking, you two also get to know each other really well

- like basically your life stories

- it took him a while to open up and at first he insists that you tell your story first, but after a while you notice how he starts letting little things about his life slip here and there until he starts telling you bigger portions

- you also get really close with kenma

- not close close the way him and kuroo are, but kenma would probably see you as his second closest friend

- that’s why sometimes kenma tags along with you guys (it doesn’t feel like third wheeling or anything because both you and kuroo enjoy kenma’s presence as much as each other’s)

- eventually, once you two got the hang of it, you’re like the couple that everyone likes

- because you’re both pretty funny and overall just have nice vibes

- his team starts to call you mom and dad as a joke because sometimes when shinzen doesn’t have practice, you’ll stop by at nekoma at the end of practice just to say hi

- they’re not wrong about the mom and dad thing though (it’s a really cute dynamic though i swear)

- your team used to not like him at first because they were protective of you, but eventually they reluctantly warmed up to him

- they threatened to demolish him if he hurt you though

- LMAO ANYWAYS .. MOVING ON

- you guys have lots of study dates too!!

- since you’re both busy because of volleyball related things, a lot of your schedule lines up with each other (this also means that kuroo knows when you haven’t had time to study)

- you’ll be sitting on his bed on your stomach with your legs draped across his thighs as you read your textbook and he’ll be sitting against his bed frame reading one of his assigned readings (i also like to think that kuroo has glasses for these readings that only you and kenma have seen)

- sometimes, when you finish studying before he finishes, you’ll come up behind him and just start to play with his hair

- his hair is actually really soft despite looking like a bird built its nest in it

- you also have two of his jackets that are just lying around your house

- he likes when you wear them because he thinks you look so cute (he doesn’t tell you that though)

- after a while, it’s like both of you have forgotten that this was all a ruse just so bokuto wouldn’t get heartbroken after you two break up

- at this point, kuroo has learned all your quirks, habits, and has also memorized your schedule

- like … he doesn’t realize that he’s fallen for you until someone points it out

- he realizes he’s fallen for you on the day that shinzen loses in the tournament (this would be your last match)

- now nekoma just played a game, but kuroo’s first instinct is to check whether or not shinzen won (he’s been doing this for every game in the tournament)

- when he sees that you lost, he knows that you’ll be sad and in need of a pick me up

- as kenma and him are packing up, he says, “shinzen lost today. i probably can’t make it to your house tonight. y/n will probably want to go out with her team for a bit, but she’ll probably crash at my place. do you think i should make her a strawberry cake? or maybe she’ll want onigiri? no, she’ll probably want the cake. she always gets the little smile with her one dimple whenever she eats my strawberry cake. makes me proud.”

- kenma’s just looking at kuroo with arched eyebrows because HIS BEST FRIEND IS WHIPPED

- kuroo doesn’t get why kenma’s looking at him like that because he thinks about things like that all the time. “what??”

- oh kenma knows your relationship is fake

- so he just looks at kuroo and says, “try to refrain getting down on one knee today. i doubt you have a ring, and i’ll bet that y/n will want a confession of you being hopelessly, madly in love with her before you propose by the way.”

- kuroo kind of freezes and blinks at him.

- “wh … what?”

- “kuro, do i really need to spell out for you that you’re totally smitten with her? you have been for a while now.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- at this point, kuroo knows that kenma’s onto something, but kuroo doesn’t wanna jump to conclusions until he sees you again

- when you knock on his door and run straight into his arms that night, he knows kenma’s right

- like you’re balling into his chest and he gets that feeling that he wants to hold you forever and never let go

- and he knows. he knows.

- after you start to calm down, he offers you the cake that he made just for you

- he swears that he feels ten times lighter after he sees that exact smile with the exact dimple on your face

- now kuroo may be loud, and rambunctious at times, but when he loves, it’s quiet, simple, but not any less there

- as you finish eating the cake, kuroo notices that there’s a few pink crumbs on your lips

- and he kisses you

- like a “slow, hand on the cheek, nose touching after he pulls away” kind of kiss

- “i made a realization today. kenma told me to hold back on proposing, so i’ll go with confessing instead.”

- you’re looking up at him with your heart beating hard in your chest

- “i think you might’ve made me fall in love with you.”

sorry if there are any mistakes lmao i tried catching all of them but ... 6k words ...... yanno. .....

#oikawa x reader #oikawa headcanons #oikawa fluff #atsumu x reader #atsumu headcanons #atsumu fluff #kuroo x reader #kuroo headcanons #kuroo fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fluff

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willowbleedsonpaper · 3 years

Text

Shattered (Part 2)

James Potter x Reader

Read the first part here!

W.C. : 8055... sorry (?)

Warnings: Blood, sadness, heartbreak, my english, I didn’t proof read, that it is 01:00 am. Idk, you tell me :)

A/N: I dont know if this is what you all requested, I hope you like it and that you enjoy it. Thank you so much for your patience, I know I’m a slow writer but we can blame my brain for getting distracted way to easily. I spent one hour looking for a song I listened to years ago in the middle of writing this, and that was just today. Again, thank you for your patience.

Likes, reblogs, comments and keyboard smashes are appreciated.

Sirius stayed back with a knot in his stomach, the anticipation he felt as he saw you and James walk out of the Gryffindor common room more than he could bear. You had led James with the hold of your hand, looking back at Sirius with a small smile before you disappeared from his sight. He knew what you were about to do. He knew and he fought every single nerve in his body to not follow the two of you, rocking on his feet as he awaited your arrival.

His stomach dropped at the sight of James, walking back all alone. He raised his eyes over the people crowded at the entrance, waiting for your bright smile to meet his eyes, but you never arrived. James was all alone.

“Prongs.” he called his friend as he walked past them “Where are you going?” he held back from asking about you. It was clear you weren’t coming back.

James stopped at the stairs to the dorms, his hand supporting his weight on the wall “It’s been a long week.” he muttered, voice barely audible over all the fuzz “I’m going to bed.” he stated, never meeting his friends face as he kept his face low.

Sirius placed his cup down, walking over his friend who had gotten up the stairs. He called his name without a response, jumping the last steps towards their dorm “James!” he called once he catched up to him, placing his hand on his shoulder to stop him.

James jumped at the feeling of his hand, finally lifting his head. His cheeks were stained with tears, his lower lip trembling as he stared at Sirius “Not now, Pads.” he mumbled, taking his hand from his shoulder and letting it fall “Not now.”

Sirius froze there, not saying a word as James closed the door behind him. He had learned when to leave James alone, walking down the steps back to the common room with a defeated feeling in his chest. Your name popped in his head as he remembered his words to you.

I don’t think he’s pretending anymore.

What had he done?

He never made it back to his group of friends, his cup long forgotten in one of the tables of the common room. He walked as fast as he could, ignoring the looks from students as his head turned at every possible spot you could be, his feet with a mind of its own as he ended up at the door of your dorm.

His hand shook as he neared the door, the soft twist of the knob making his stomach wake with a thousand feelings, his palms sweaty as he pushed the door open.

He called your name softly, heart beating fast inside his chest. His eyes adapted quickly to the darkness, moving wildly all over the room to find nothing. He was about to give up, pulling the door with him as he walked out when a flicker of light caught his eye. He frowned, going back inside looking for the source of the little light, the crunching sound of something under his weight making him stop instantly. He took a few steps back, the flicker blinding him once more as he crunched down and suddenly he saw it. Sharp pieces of what looked like a mirror were scattered all over the floor.

He stayed there for a second, the thud sound coming from the bathroom making him go there, his knuckles touching the wood as he placed his ear over the door. “Y/N?” he called again. Not getting a response, he opened the door, the light bright in comparison to the room. And there, sitting on the cold tiled floor, he saw you hugging your knees as you sobbed quietly.

“Oh, darling.” he muttered, kneeling to your side in a second.

Your grip around your legs tightened, turning to your side to avoid looking at him. You ignored his calls and questions, his soft voice making the knot on your throat tighter as you wanted nothing more than left yourself cry and scream. You wanted to scream the pain away.

“Just leave, Sirius.” you said in between sobs, hiding your face in the piece of clothing in your hands.

But he couldn’t bring himself to leave you, his eyes widening in worry as he saw you crumble down again. Your sobs were loud once more as you angrily cleaned the tears from your face. His face fell on the one thing you clung onto, his heart falling down inside his chest as he recognized the fabric as the sweater James had gifted you. He didn’t know what to do, this was his fault! You told him not to give you hope and nevertheless you listened to his foolish advice. You went ahead and confessed everything to James. It was his fault you were in so much pain and he didn’t know how to make it better. He wasn’t sure he could. Sirius wasn’t good at this, he had never been in this position before. He couldn’t tell you it would be alright, that it would stop hurting at some point. He couldn’t give you advice because he knew that was his mistake in the first place. He could only do the one thing he knew worked for him, the thing James himself did for him. Be there for you.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled, his hand going to hold your hand, the feeling of warmth making his heart stop. He immediately let go, holding his palm up to the light to see the red stains there, his face snapping at you as he went to the sink, grabbing a small towel from there as he rushed back to your side “Y/N, you’re bleeding.” he said hurriedly, clutching your hand against his and carefully tapping the soft fabric over your palm.

Your head snapped up instantly, finally turning to him as he held your hand, seeing the small cuts on your palms “I thought it stopped.” you told him, voice raspy as you sat straight.

He shook his head, taking your other hand in his as he began cleaning that one too “You knew you were bleeding?” he asked.

You nodded your head “I-uh..I tripped while holding my mirror.” you lied “Stopped the fall with my hands but ended up falling over the broken mirror. I cleaned them before, I thought they had stopped bleeding.” you said with an apologetic look.

He gave you a questioning look but said nothing about it “Don’t they hurt?” he asked, the worry in his voice rising as he saw you shake your head “You felt them, right?”

You shrugged your shoulders, letting him clean your palms. “I felt them, they don’t hurt.” you stated.

His movements slowed down considerably, the towel like a feather over your skin. He looked up at you through his lashes, your void eyes making him look away immediately. You stayed in silence for a long while, him noticing your wounded knees as well and doing careful work on them.

Once he was done, he stayed there by your side. You didn’t have the energy to tell him to leave, to remind him that he was on the wrong side of this messy situation and that he belonged at his best friend’s side.

“You should go and get some rest, Sirius.” you said, not looking at him but in front of you, staring at the same spot you had been staring for a while now “It’s past midnight.”

He didn’t realize when he got back to the floor again, both of you sitting there like two defeated warriors. He certainly felt defeated, the prospect of the weeks ahead not giving him any hope.

“They won’t notice I’m gone.” he said in a whisper. “The party is still going, your friends are still there too.”

You frowned, a dry chuckle leaving your throat “They’re hardly my friends, just good company and nice roommates.” you said, not giving it so much importance as you lifted your head from his shoulder, not realizing when you had leaned on him in the first place, and moved to sit in front of him, your legs crossed so the two could fit in the small space “You know for a fact they will be looking for you.” you said as firmly as you could muster “Did you tell anyone you were coming here?”

He shook his head, his hair falling to the sides of his head when he looked down “I didn’t even know where I was going.” he admitted with a humorless laugh “I saw James alone and after I talked to him I went to look for you. I was about to leave when I saw…” his words trailed down, dying on the tip of his tongue as he remembered the broken mirror on the room.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, the mirror coming back to your head as the crashing sounds replayed in your memory over and over again. He caught you on your lie.

“How’ s James?” you asked in a whisper, not really knowing what you expected to hear.

“He’s, I- I really don’t know.” he admitted “He went straight to bed and asked me to leave him alone.”

You nodded your head, moving your hair out of your face, taking a good look at Sirius for the first time that night. He looked more broken than you felt, his face was contorted in pain as he never met your eyes. “Sirius.” you called him with a soft smile, his eyes lifting to look at you “Why does it look like you’re the one with a broken heart?” you asked.

He remained silent for a while, studying your face as you waited for his answer “It’s my fault.” he murmured “You told me not to give you hope and that’s exactly what I did.”

Your smile turned into a sad one, playing with your hands and the little charm on the bracelet you wore “It’s not your fault I fell for him.” you told him “We made a deal and I knew why he was doing this. If anything, it’s James' fault for being so bloody charming.” you said with laugh, the single tear running down your cheek betraying you and the pang you felt in your chest.

Sirius handed you a tissue, watching you clean your cheeks “Maybe there is no one to blame.” he said lightly “You can’t tell your heart how to feel, right? Not your fault.” he said, lifting a finger as he counted “I tried to help and it went awfully wrong.” you chuckled at his words, a second finger lifting as he sighed “And James can’t tell his heart how to feel either.” he dropped his hand, looking at you.

You nodded, pursing your lips but not disagreeing with him. “Who are you and what did you do with Sirius?” you joked, watching him roll his eyes “When did you become so wise?” you asked and he shook his head.

“Like an hour ago.” he blurted, making the both of you laugh trutfully for the first time in the night. “I should probably go.” he said with a sigh, standing from the floor and helping you to your feet, you walked in silence to the door of your dorm. He stopped there, turning one last time as he gave you a quick hug, murmuring goodnight at the side of your head.

He was a few stairs down when your fingers wandered back to the bracelet in your wrist, your eyes falling back as you held the small charm in between your fingers “Sirius!” you called him as you ran down the few steps he had taken, unfastening the chain and pulling it away. “Can you take this with you?” you asked him, holding it up for him to see “Please.”

He looked at it, his eyes moving from the bracelet and up to you. “What should I do with it?” he asked, opening his palm and you softly placed it over his hand, closing his hand in a fist.

You lifted your eyes to his, hugging yourself as you shrugged “Whatever you want.” you said, letting your shoulders fall. He bit his lip, nodding his head and putting the bracelet inside his pocket. A sigh left you as you saw him “Thank you.” you whispered.

He smiled tightly at you, nodding his head in your way “Of course.” he said, leaving you and your dorm behind for the night.

“Sirius?” Remus’ voice echoed in the common room, the place a mess as he made quick work in cleaning the space. The sound of footsteps caught his attention, walking to the stairs with the hope of seeing him there only to find Peter “Anything?” he asked desperately.

Peter shook his head, the sigh that left Remus’ lips cut short “Remus, I think Sirius can wait.” Peter said urgently, getting a confused look from Remus “It’s James.” he pointed up to where their dorm.

Remus dropped the bag in his hand, doubtfully following Peter “What about James?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” He answered, signaling for Remus to follow as he jumped the last steps up, pushing the dorm open.

Remus walked inside, Peter close on his tail. He didn’t see anything weird at first, checking Sirius’s bed before his eyes fell on the empty bed beside it. He looked around, looking for his friend when Peter lifted his hand, pointing right to the window and the figure sitting there.

“Prongs?” he called hesitantly, walking near until he was sitting next to him. When he got no answer he turned to Peter, the same Peter who just shook his face and pointed back at James with the shrug of his shoulders. Remus tilted his head, a sigh leaving his lips as he patted the place next to him for Peter to sit. “James.” he called firmly.

James only moved his head, resting his head on his knees as he hugged his legs. The sniffing sounds coming from him filling the room “I fucked up, Moony.” he muttered “I fucked up real bad.”

Remus wondered what he could be referring to, Peter looking between his two friends with the same confusion written all over his face. They weren’t left in the dark for long, James pouring his mind and heart out to his friends as they listened carefully. Not one thing was left unsaid, not the deal, the gifts he gave you, his initial plan to make Lily jealous, everything that happened that night, everything he didn’t understand.

“You were pretending all this time?” asked Peter, voice shaky as he awaited for them to confirm he understood everything, but Remus’ look towards James made him stay in silence.

If looks could kill, James would be dead. And if there was something worse after death he would be there as well. The silence was so thick, James felt like breathing became hard, swallowing the lump in his throat as he looked down at the floor, not having the courage to look his friend in the eye.

“You’re an idiot.” said Remus. Nothing else. He left the words settle in, not giving a further explanation as he saw the guilt stir inside James’s chest.

“I know Moony, but…”

“There is no but here. You already know you fucked up, you said it yourself.” he said, his voice awfully calm as his face screamed a thousand emotions no one could nor wanted to name.

James felt the tears gathered in his eyes once again, holding Remus’ gaze with a shaky stance. He cursed under his breath, running his hands through his hair until he reached his face, hiding in the safety of his palms “I don’t know what to do.” he admitted, words muffled but clear to everyone in the room.

The door opened before anyone could say anything, the three friends turned towards the sound as they watched Sirius walk inside. He was completely oblivious to his friends all gathered around James, his steps faltering once he met the eyes of all on him.

“We looked for you everywhere.” said Peter with a nervous smile “You left the party early.”

Sirius opened his mouth, the words forming on his tongue and dying there.

“You went to see her.” James said, voice low as he met Sirius’s eyes “Didn’t you?”

Sirius turned his eyes away at the mention of you, walking to his bed and taking his jacket off. He moved slowly around the room, head low as he avoided the answers he knew he would have to give sooner or later.

Remus called his name, successfully making him snap out his trance.

“Yeah, I did.” he said, doubtful if he should go and sit with them or keep his distance. But once Peter and Remus moved to the sides and made some space for him to join he didn’t hesitate.

“How is she?” James asked, leaning his body forward.

“Better now.” he said dryly, not knowing how to explain the state he found you in. Not knowing in what state he left you in.

“What do you mean better now?” asked James in confusion, a frown set deep in his face.

Sirius shook his head “It would be better if you two talked.” he said.

Remus chuckled, looking down before he met the confusion of all his friends at the sudden sound leaving his lips “I can’t believe I’m saying this but he’s right.” he said, cocking his head in Sirius’s direction.

They all laughed, the air turning lighter as their laughs died down.

The subject wasn’t addressed for the rest of the night, all of them going to sleep a couple of hours later with their hearts heaving inside their chests. You had always been friends with the Marauders, more close with James, but still. They would be, in a way, losing a friend. They knew how you acted, how you thinked, you would keep your distance from them at all cost.

This plagued the minds of everyone as they went to sleep, some successfully getting some sleep while others didn’t have the chance.

Getting out of bed was easier than you thought it would be. The ticking of the clock making you open your eyes earlier than most days, there was no point in staying in bed. You went to the bathroom and followed your routine, getting changed for the day in your robes.

Twenty minutes later you were making your way through the empty halls of the castle, taking your time in getting to the Great Hall for breakfast as you enjoyed the chill morning air blowing in your face. You nuzzled your face in your scarf, feeling the soft material against your skin when the faintest of smells caught your nose, making your feet slow down as you looked down to the scarf. The pit in your stomach grew as you realized it wasn’t your scarf, not really, but the one James gifted you. There was no telling them apart, they were exactly the same scarf, except for the fabric that still lingered with his scent. It was clear for you it was his scarf, but no one else could know, so you kept going like nothing happened. In a way, he would be with you the rest of the day.

The day was just like any other for anyone watching, for anyone paying the minimum of attention. You made the effort of not standing out, which was an easy task, keeping yourself surrounded by your housemates in meals and during classes. No one even questioned you, no one asked where you went the previous night when you left with James, why you didn’t return. For the outside world you were still with James. For them, the previous night never happened.

You envied them, but at the same time you didn’t. You wanted the hurt to stop, but you didn’t regret telling James how you felt. You tried and he didn’t feel the same way. Now it was time to heal. Time for you to move on.

Only thing was, James remained one of the most popular students at Hogwarts. He was James Potter, Transfiguration prodigy, Captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, known prankster and one of the Marauders. Everyone heard his name at least once a day and you weren’t the exception. Actually, you were far from being the exception, his name followed you everywhere you went.

Two weeks had gone by and you had managed to successfully avoid him. Of course you saw him walk around the castle, your steps faltering at the sound of his voice, your eyes staring at him longer than you should, your heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name, but you never actually interacted with him, and for that you were grateful. You made sure you always were with someone by your side, you shared most of your classes with your best friend and in the ones you didn't’ you kept mostly to yourself, engaging with the professor and other students as you normally would. You went on with your life the way you did before James, before the deal.

“Miss Y/LN.” Professor Mcgonagall called after class, your heart beating fast inside your chest as you slowly packed your things and walked to her desk, making time until everyone had walked out of the classroom.

“Professor.” you said, standing in front of her “Is there something wrong?” you asked, your voice surprisingly firm as you said it.

“Oh, no.” she said, looking up at you through her glasses “On the contrary.” she pulled a parchment form beneath her desk, opening it for you to see. A sigh left your lips as you saw the list she showed you “Are you still looking for someone to tutor?” she asked, her smile widening as she said it.

You nodded your head, your excitement matching hers.

“In that case, I have the perfect candidate.” She said “It’s nothing complicated, he needs help in a few subjects and only for the upcoming exams if he wants to keep his position in the Quidditch team, and I have a feeling you will be happy to tutor him.”

“Really?” you asked, getting confused by her confidence in her choice “Who is it?”

She looked up at you, an amused smile playing on her lips “Potter, of course.” she said.

Your smile fell instantly and it didn’t go unnoticed by her, putting her parchment down as she focused on you “Is there something wrong?” she asked in concern.

You looked at her, smiling tightly “No. I mean, well… we’re not dating anymore.” you muttered the last words, sitting in the table behind you without a care if it was appropriate or not.

Just like yours, Professor Mcgonagall’s smile fell from her lips “Oh dear,” she said with a sympathetic look on her face “Well it matters not if you are in a relationship with Potter or not, right now he is the only student who matches your schedule.”

You knew what she meant. You started tutoring to get higher grades in your classes, you needed that extra, heartbroken or not.

“Of course,” you said, accepting the papers from her and reading quickly over her neat handwriting “Fridays at the library.” you said, Professor Mcgonagall nodding in approval as you went through the details.

Not five minutes later you were walking out of her classroom, papers in hand and your spirit lost once more. Why must fate be so cruel?

James walked the halls of Hogwarts inside his own head. Friends waved in his way, professors called his name, people told him to watch where he was going. He waved back by pure memory muscle, not even noticing who he was waving back to; he hid inside his shell and ignored the words of his professors, words going in one ear and out through the other; he didn’t even stood for himself against others, muttering a low apology as he kept on his way. He was living on automatic.

Friday evening, the clouds rolled on the sky as the sun started to set in the horizon, making the day darker and darker as he made his way to the library, the place with just enough light from the candles to walk around. He wanted to be somewhat prepared for the session with his tutor. He was supposed to meet with his tutor for the first time that day, Professor Mcgonagall giving him the details earlier that day, with a hard look on her face as she said he should be lucky to have the tutor she chose for him, but never actually giving their name.

He needed this, he needed to keep up with his grades if he wanted to play quidditch, not even stay captain, just so they would let him play.

For the past two weeks, Quidditch and his friends were the only thing keeping him at float, the only things that prevented him from sinking in the guilt he could feel around him, slowly reaching his neck, barely keeping his head out. He couldn’t afford to lose one of those things.

He sat at the table farthest inside at the library, the book about the subjects he needed help the most open in a line in front of him. The words never settled as he read over and over the same page. He grunted, pushing the book away as the ones beside it fell to the ground.

“What did the books ever do to you?” his face snapped up at the voice, meeting red hair and a bright smile. Lily placed the books back on the table, slowly taking the chair in front of him.

He raised an eyebrow, the sinking feeling in his chest lifting the slightest as Lily sat there with him “Are you my tutor?” he asked suspiciously.

Lily scoffed, looking at him before she rolled his eyes, shaking her head and resting her back against the chair “I have enough work with my classes as it is.” she said, looking over all the books he had gathered.

“Here I thought you were looking to spend more time with me.” he smirked, smiling but the facade falling as quickly as it appeared. He couldn’t even act like he once did.

She smiled, looking up at him in confusion “Aren’t you and Y/N dating?” she asked.

And then it dawned on him, they never officially broke up. No one knew what happened that night, not even he was sure what happened. “Yeah,” he muttered, head low as he scratched the back of his neck “Not anymore.” he added, looking up to see Lily’s reaction.

She raised her eyebrows, leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest “Thats’ a shame.” she said, taking James by surprise “You were almost tolerable when you two started dating.”

“What?” he blurted out.

“That’s why I’m here.” she explained, and James gave her a dirty look, earning a chuckle from her “You didn’t think I was here for you, did you?” he muttered a No under his breath, the smile on Lily’s face growing but she said nothing about it “I’ve been looking for her all over the castle, I just can’t find her.” she explained.

“Why are you looking for her?” he asked, his voice suddenly flat as all emotion was drained from him.

She chose to ignore it, sensing the change in his mood as soon as he mentioned her “You know, it’s not important.” she brushed it off, taking her bag from the floor “I’ll find her by myself later.”

She said her goodbyes, starting to walk when his hand grasped her wrist “Lily.” he said, her eyes never meeting his. “Why are you looking for YN?” he asked again, never letting go of her wrist. Lily had a hard look on her, shaking his hand out of his grasp, lifting her head as her eyes softened.

“Y/N.” she breathed out, James' face turning into one of confusion until a sense he found himself missing every day for the past two weeks filled him once more.

You smiled tightly, hand over the handle of your bag as your eyes moved up from where their hands were second ago. Looking immediately at Lily with a more warmer smile.

“Hi, Lily.” you greeted her, not once meeting James’ eyes “I can come back later, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Not at all,” she said, her body acting by itself as it leaned forward to talk but the words never appeared, her sudden burst of energy dying down as she looked down at James. Her face fell but she covered it up quickly with a smile, reaching for her bag on the chair “I was just leaving, I’ll see you both around.” She bid her goodbyes and walked away.

You followed her with your eyes, until her red hair disappeared in between the shelves.

“I guess you are my tutor.” James broke the silence and you finally looked at him, the pit in your stomach growing. You took the chair where Lily sat before, nodding your head at him “Y/N, I…”

“I am,” you confirmed, taking the chair where Lily sat before “I thought we could start with Herbology, since it’s your worst subject.” you said, cutting him short “I thought we could leave Charms and Transfiguration for last, you’re good at those and you’ll need little to no help.”

“Right.” he muttered, leaning back when you moved away from him. Taking a little too long in getting your notes, practically burying your face in your bag.

The session was long, meeting once a week having its burden but one you were ready to carry. You had to help him with most of the subjects, but he was clever and you already knew how to teach him. He was doing most of the talking, asking questions when he got stuck in something. You wanted to smile, a soft smile forming but holding it back as you looked down at him. He was really clever, but he doubted himself, most of the session based on his questions to ensure he had the right point or idea.

“It’s getting late.” James said, closing his book softly as he stretched his arms over his head, a yawn escaping him as he pressed his eyes shut. He returned his eyes to you, your own gaze lost on some spot behind him “Y/N?” he asked, waving a hand before you.

“Huh?” you asked softly, your eyes taking a little longer to snap back to reality, immediately falling to the now empty table “Right.” you muttered, grabbing your things and shoving them down your bag.

“Hey, Y/N.” said James, lowering his head to meet your eyes “I think we need to…”

You didn’t let him finish “I’ll see you next Friday. If you need anymore help, just find me and we can arrange something.” you repeated the speech you had been going over in your head long before you arrived at the library, watching him nod you breathe out in relief “Goodnight.” you said, walking past him and out of the library, everything James wanted to say left hanging in the air.

“Hello, stranger.” you slowly raised your head, your blank look softening as you moved your things to the side.

“What are you doing here Sirius?” you asked with amusement, turning to the side towards his usual spot, Remus and Peter deep in conversation to even notice your eyes on them.

He scoffed, taking the seat with an offended look “Two weeks.” he said, palm hitting the table with each word “Two weeks since we last talked and you ask what am I doing here?”

You shrugged, making a face as you lowered your head “I’ve been here all the time.” you said back “Besides, we’ve gone longer without exchanging a word and the world it’s still spinning.”

“Glad to see you missed me.” he muttered, grabbing pieces of fruit from your plate despite you slapping his hand away “Stop doing that, I’m stealing your food anyway.” he hissed, stretching his hand when you took your plate away from him.

You gave up in the end, giving him the plate which he took with a smile “I’m going to class now.” you said, watching him nod “Do you need anything?” you asked him, grabbing your bag and standing, Sirius doing the same and following your steps.

“I’ll walk with you.” he said, grabbing one last piece of apple and walking with you.

You didn’t fight him, walking out of the Great Hall and turning right only to be tugged the opposite way. You complained but it was of no use, your hands pointing back as Sirius led you, his grip on your shoulders difficult to fight. “You do know the way to dungeons is the opposite of where we are going, right?”

“Of course.” he said, satisfied enough with your path, he let go of you and walked by your side.

“Just making sure.” you murmured, watching him as he walked peacefully “Sirius.” you called “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” he said too quickly, the raise of your eyebrow making nothing to break him. “It’s nothing, I swear!”

“Right.” you laughed, shaking your head.

The walk, even though long, was enjoyable. You actually had missed Sirius, you missed them all. One month of having all your meals and spending all your free time with the Marauders was enough to make you miss it like it was your home. You missed the laughs, Sirius jokes and shameless flirting, you missed the blush rising up Remus’ neck at Sirius flirting, you missed having a serious and yet fun conversation with Remus about anything that came to mind, his wise words and sharp mind; you missed Peter, his sense of humour and never ending source of snacks, you missed sharing your food with him and sneaking them into class. You didn’t realize how much you missed them until Sirius told you all about them and how they were.

“You know you can always join us.” he said, the sad smile forming in your lips making him nudge your side with his elbow “I’m Sirius.” he said, wiggling his eyebrows as he walked backwards, entering the classroom with a smirk “No one is stopping you but yourself.” he said, walking to his seat next to James.

All consideration about sitting with them dying as soon as you met his eyes, holding your gaze for a second as he eyed you. His eyes moved away, the smile returning to his face but not completely, it didn't reach his eyes like it had before he saw you.

The pit in your stomach grew, letting your body fall to your chair as you dropped your bag on the floor. You sighed heavily, holding your head in your hands and waiting for the class to start. It was bound to be a long week.

“You can’t keep doing that.” Remus said that night in their common room.

“Do what?” Sirius asked, his eyes never meeting Remus’ as he threw the caramel in his hand at Peter, who catched it from the opposite side of the couch with a triumphant smile. Sirius threw a fist in the air, turning to Remus when he felt his glare on him “Use your words, Moony.”

“You have to stop taking Y/N’s attention away from James every time he’s with Lily.” he said, backing away as Sirius shushed him. “It’s friday, he’s with his tutor.” he reminded him, his body visibly relaxing as he flopped down on the couch.

“I’ll do it as long as I can.” Sirius said in a whisper “And you’re no one to talk, Mr. Glares.” he mocked, his eyes hardening in an attempt to mimic Remus’ look. Even Peter laughed at that, covering his mouth when Remus shot yet another glare at him.

“What is that even supposed to mean?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“Oh, please. Don’t tell me you don’t feel how your face brings winter upon us every time you see James with Evans”

“That’s what upsets you?” Sirius asked in disbelief “Not that they’re both heartbroken?”

“They knew what they were doing from the beginning. It 's sad? Yes, but…” he paused, shaking his head “I just want James and Y/N being friends again.”

“Or more.” Peter mumbled, making both Sirius and Remus groan as they stared at him. “No.” they said in unison.

James sat at the library, head buried deep in a book. His hand fumbled in the inside of his pocket, the soft clicking of metal sounding over the soft murmurs of the many voices at the library. He looked up at the clock again, you were rarely late. He got up, walking through all the shelves and checking every other table. You were nowhere to be found.

He sat down with a sigh again, reading over the notes and all the questions he had over the week about his assignments. He considered looking for you, taking you up on your offer to arrange something else, but Lily stopped him on his way looking for you.

He saw you walk out of your classroom, talking with some of your friends as you made your way to your next class. He spent most of the previous night working on his essay but for every question he found the answer for he came up with three more. In the end, he gave up and waited to talk to you in the morning. Following close, he avoided all the people in his way as he jogged up to your group, coming to halt a few feet from you when he heard his name being called. He turned, watching Lily walk up to him.

He stepped back, meeting her in the middle “Evans.” he said, smiling in her way. His eyes glanced at you, finding you already looking at him. Your eyes moved away from him, head low as you and your friends walked away. James sighed, focusing on Lily in front of him “What is it?” he asked, leaning in the wall behind him.

“Remember the other day I was looking for Y/N?” she asked, fumbling inside her bag as he hummed in response “Well, I found something of hers. I believe you gave it to her.” she said, pulling from her bag a thin silver chain, the small charm hanging from the end.

James watched the bracelet with sadness, taking it from Lily’s hand “Where did you find it?” he asked, the coldness of the chain in his hand making his heart drop.

“The tree by the Lake.” she answered “I was going to give it back to her but then you said you weren’t together anymore. She showed it to me, you know? Well, everyone actually. She was so happy she showed it to everyone at our table.” she chuckled.

“Right” he said, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried and failed to remember that specific time. You told him all about your attempts to annoy Lily. Then it hit him, you weren’t pretending.

“Anyway, I thought better give it back to you.” Lily said, walking a few steps and then stopping “You know? Whatever happened between you two, I’m sure you can work it out. You looked happy together, both of you.” and with that she left, Marlene waited for her at the end of the hall as they disappeared in the distance together.

He didn’t want to bother you anymore, getting rid of the bracelet he gave you clue enough to know you didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. He blinked fast, his vision blurry for a second as one tear fell down his cheek. Why was it so hard?

You were friends! You were one of his best friends. He trusted you and that’s why he asked for your help, you knew him better than most, you were used to being together, so what changed? You had kissed before your deal, held hands, hugged, every couple thing you did you had done before. Why was he asking himself what changed? He didn’t like you in that way, he told you so. Or did he?

“I’m so sorry.” your voice snapped him out of his trance, his eyes sad as he stared at you. Your hair was messy, one of your biggest and comfiest sweaters thrown over your head in a last minute manner, the scarf around your neck coming undone as you flopped won the chair. “Jamie?” you asked at his tranced state, his eyes snapping up at yours. You called him Jamie. “You okay?”

He felt all the color drain from his face, a bucket of cold water thrown in his face as he stared at you. When was the last time you had called him Jamie? When was the last time that you two had sat down and just chatted about life, that you made sure he paid attention in class and he made you get out of your room? When was the last time he heard you laugh, yell or muttered under your breath?

“James.” you called again, his eyes focusing on you before he jumped from his chair and left.

You were tempted to call him, but Madame Pince was giving you a dirty look already. You stumbled to your feet, gathering yours and James’ things as you ran out and after him.

He was walking aimlessly, his entire body and mind panicking. He could hear you calling his name, your hurried footsteps sounding closer and closer as he ran down the stairs, walking outside into the courtyard as the cold air hit his face.

“James,” you gasped, joggin all the way to the fountain to drop your things there. He was pacing, breathing short and rapid as he looked everywhere but to you. “James!” you called louder, getting no response from him “Hey, hey!” you said, grasping his shoulders “Talk to me.”

He took several deep breaths, holding your gaze and realizing he hadn’t looked at you, actually looked at you in the eye for far too long. “I’m an idiot.”

You frowned, your face contorted in confusion as you let your hands fall from him “Am I supposed to deny it?” you asked “‘Cause we both know I can’t.”

He chuckled “You still joke.” he said with a smile, running a hand through his hair as he turned his back to you.

“I still joke.” you repeated under your breath, looking at him “What is that even supposed to mean?”

If someone told you what was about to happen next you would have never believed them. No one, not in a million years could have prepared you.

“All this time I took you for granted. Thinking you were my friend, that this was supposed to be the way friendship works with you. I always knew it was different, never felt like Pads or Moony, but I took it because you were a girl.” he let out a breathy laugh, turning to look at you “Never felt like it did with Lily.” he muttered.

You hugged yourself, avoiding his eyes as you looked down “I get it, we’re friends.” you said in a whisper “You made that clear.”

“No, you don’t get it.” he said, making you roll your eyes tiredly, sitting in the brim of the fountain “I took you for granted.”

“I heard you the first time.” you said bitterly, looking at him with the same bitterness in your eyes “Look, James. I can’t be your friend anymore. I just can’t.”

“I don’t want you to be my friend.” he said, and you swore your heart shattered again. Lowering your face to avoid him seeing the tears gathering in your eyes, you wanted to say something Gee, thanks or That makes two of us but you didn’t trust your voice to say that without cracking.

“I never knew what love felt like until you went away.” he said, your heart stopping inside your chest.

“What?” you asked, voice trembling as you lifted your eyes.

“I’m so sorry.” he sat down in front of you, eyes wandering to your hands as he hesitantly took one in the warmth of his “I hurt you because I’m an idiot and you deserve so much better, so much better than an oblivious fool who doesn’t know what he has until he loses it.”

You tried to make sense of all the things he was saying but nothing made sense. “James...I-I”

“I love you too.” he blurted out, watching your every move, every twitch, anything that could give him an answer.

“No.” you said suddenly “You were pretending, remember?”

“That we were together.” he explained “But I’ve always cared about you, everything I did was because I wanted to. And yes, maybe Lily was there but I would’ve done it anyway, all of it.” his voice lowered considerably, watching you in your frozen state “I liked Lily because of the chase but I love you because it’s all I’ve ever known with you. I didn’t even know, everyone else did but not me. Two weeks of not being with you, not listening to your laugh, your jokes and your yells. I’ve missed the way we just exist together, going out and having fun. I missed playing with your hair, and you getting mad because I get it all tangled, I miss going to honeydukes and watching your eyes go wide as you don't know what to pick. I miss hugging you after a Quidditch match or after a long day.” he sighed, out of breath “I just miss you.”

You let the words settle in, processing every word and every thought as you stared at him in a blank state.

“I know I hurt you. I don’t want you to forgive me just because of all I’ve said but please, just please don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” you said in a low voice “I never did.”

“You didn’t?” he asked in disbelief, and you shook your head.

“I could never.” you told him with the smallest smile. You looked up, the stars shining in the sky as you let out a breathy laugh “Come here.” you muttered, opening your arms as he practically jumped to you, wrapping his arms around your waist tightly. Your arms hugged him, going over his neck as you sat closer than ever. One of your hands raised to the back of his head, running your fingers through his hair as you turned your face, placing a soft kiss in his cheek.

You don't know how long you stayed in each other's arms, at some point your head nuzzled in the crook of his neck as he held you close. The cold air hitting your faces.

“You kept my scarf.” he said, you tried to deny it as he smiled “It’s mine.” he picked up the end, showing you some loose threads and worn fabric “I recognize it.” he said. His eyebrows raised, letting go of your hand and reaching to his pocket. He moved back slightly, pulling the silver bracelet and holding it up for you to see “I believe this is yours.” he said.

“Sirius gave it to you?” you asked, his hand coming around your wrist and placing it over his lap.

“Sirius?” he asked, fastening the bracelet around your wrist “Lily found it.”

“Lily?” you asked, clearly both in confusion with the mix of names “I asked Sirius to take it.”

“And apparently she found it.” he said, holding your hand in his “Are you sure you don’t hate me?” he asked again.

“I don’t know, do people who hate each other do this?” you asked, your thumb brushing along his cheekbone, leaning in slowly and capturing his lips in a slow kiss. He moved closer, both of his hands cupping your face as he deepened the kiss, the smile that grew in his lips mirroring yours. He slowly broke the kiss, eyes closed as his forehead rested against yours. He opened his eyes and met yours, shining with bliss as his smile grew wider.

Your heart no longer felt shattered.

TAGS:

@fanficflaneuse @nebulablakemurphy @lupins-sweater @accio-rogers @gloriousrebelrunaway @slytherinprincess03 @not-today-anxiety @iwritesiriusly @trinimalfoyyy @haphazardhufflepuff @deafgirltingz @remmyswritings @peeves-a-legend @yourssuccubus @it-was-three-am @pamelalur15

If your name is like this it means I can’t tag you :(

P.S. At the end, the rest of the Marauders were watching James and the reader from one of the towers, they were so anxious that at some point Sirius yelled KISS HER YOU FOOL! and that he did. Their cheers could be heard all over Hogwarts.

#Shattered #James Potter #james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #young!james potter #james potter fanfiction #hp fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #marauders era

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shadowsingersmate · 3 years

Note

Hiii can you do a really angsty azriel×reader where they have a huge fight about him not opening up to her but with a happy ending so they make up at the end?

Hey! I have a lot of request atm and I should probably be doing them by chronological order but I LOVED this idea so here it is.

Tw: cursing, slight mention of sex :)

Hope you enjoy this!

You and Azriel had been friendsfor what you’d say a long period of time. You knew each other for four years now and it was safe for you to say that you had left yourself open for him to see. Especially after you two had gotten together, no you weren’t mated but he still was a huge part of your life. You didn’t hesitate once, you told him 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔, around him you were yourself. You wanted him to know every single part of you. You trusted him that much.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the same for him. Although you two had known each other for so many years he’d still be too close to himself. He’d never talk about his feeling, about his day. cauldron! He’d never talk to you about anything important, the only way for you to know a somewhat small part of him and his life would be cassian.

But you’ve had enough of that, enough of this bullshit behavior. You trusted him more than anyone and although you couldn’t and didn’t 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 to force him to tell you. No, he was a grown male and he could do whatever he wanted but you wanted some answers, you wanted to know why he was so secretive, why he didn’t trust you.

It was a normal day, nothing special really. You had just came home from a meeting with rhysand (as you, yourself was a part of the high lords court). Azriel came back to your shared apartment briefly after, the skin under those beautiful captivating hazel eyes bruised, his own gaze hiding pure rage. You would admit, he did do a good effort trying to hide his anger but you’d see under those eyes.

“Hey” you smiled. But your smile quickly faded as he dismissed you with a small ‘hey’ , barely audible in the quiet, empty room.

“You okey?” Such a simple question, but his next words meant so much to you.

Silence....

“You wanna talk about it?” You tried again.

“No” he retorted abruptly. You seriously didn’t know why would you get your hopes up. It was more than obvious that he simply didn’t want to talk to you.

“Are you hungry? I could make dinner” you tried again.

No answer.

“Azriel”

No answer

“Azriel,‘I’m talking to you. Are you okey?”

No answer.

At this point you had stood up walking towards him. He was just standing there, he was gazing at the window, at this point you didn’t even know if he actually heard you.

“Azriel!” You raised your voice.

“Can you please be quiet!” He shouted loud enough for you to flinch. “I don’t 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 to talk about it” he said pure venom dripping of his voice.

You’d never see him this mad over something you had said, and you, for sure, didn’t expect for him to be this mad over such a small question.

“You see that the thing Azriel, you 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 seem to want to talk about it” you snapped. No, you’ve had enough, this was the last straw. “I’m here, I’ve been by your side for years, I’m trying so hard. I’m always trying to make you happy however I can. I’m trying to help you, I’m trying... Cauldron boil me I’m trying so hard” your voice broke slightly at the end “what can I do for you to trust me? To open up to me for once? What do you want me to do?” You raised your voice

Now it was his turn to flinch, he just stayed quiet, his eyes burning yours. His lips forming a thin line, almost as if he was restraining himself from saying something.

You soon realized what he was trying so hard to hide, it had 𝑐𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑑, the mating bond had just clicked. You watched him carefully, his look was enough for you to realize that he had know about the bond.

“The bond, you knew about the bond?” Of course that was what he was trying to hide.

No answer, just a guilty look sprained across his face.

“How long?” You questioned. “Y/n please just hear me out”

“That was what all of this were about,Right?” You laughed bitterly “you didn’t once see me as something important, just some stupid female you could keep around so you could use whenever your wanted a quick release, right?” You watched him, he was completely out of words. What could he say really?

“And to think that I was worried about you not trusting me, now it all make sense” you said more for yourself to hear “you barely talked to me, you barely had time for me except only when you wanted to fuck” you sobbed.

“No, y/n please just let me explain I- I“ he lookd shuttered. His gaze was a mixture of pure regret and guilt.

“No- dont! I won’t tolerate this anymore Azriel, I’m tired. You want a quick lay out? I don’t care anymore use your hands, go to a pleasure hall cause I don’t give a fuck anymore Azriel. Because you clearly don’t want 𝑚𝑒“ you turned to leave but something stopped you midway “just answer this one question” you fiddled with your fingers, afraid of his answer. “Did you really wanted to hide the bond so badly? Is really being my mate so tragic?” You immediately regretted your questions “actually don’t- don’t answer, goodbye” you said before you ran away, you needed space- lots of it.

It had been a week since you last talked. You’d be so desperate to find a way to get him out of your mind, to forget him that you had asked Rhysand for more work, a whole lot more work.

You’d barely sleep, barely eat. You’d wake up train, work, work, work and then, 𝑖𝑓 you felt too tired you might have actually gotten some sleep.

You’d also bought a new apartment for yourself, you couldn’t bare staying there and also you didn’t want to kick out azriel so you did the next best thing. You’d spent a small amount of money for something small, just enough till you found something better cause your decision was final. You weren’t going back to him, never.

Of course the inner circle had started to get worried, you wouldn’t even attend the family dinners anymore, you just disappeared. You had hidden the location of your new apartment for a couple of weeks before mor and cassian appeared at your doorway desperate for a talk.

Cassian was like a brother to you, mor was your sister. You talked to them, you trusted them but this, this was different. What would you say? They would probably tell you to talk to azriel. That he couldn’t bare being alone or some shit like that, he was their family after all.

It wasn’t that you were being ungrateful, the inner circle never once made you feel out of place, they all welcomed you and treated you like family but that didn’t mean that would last long enough after you and Azriel brake up.

“Hey” mor said quietly.

You muttered a small ‘hey’ in response before moving out of the way sot hey would come in.

“We’re have you been y/n? We were worried” cassian started, he didn’t do it on purpose. Cassian would always jump in questions, he cared deeply for you and you knew that. Mor on the other hand shot he a glare before starting, hereself asking questions “do you want to talk about it? I could ask the baby to leave if you want to” she said.

You let out an agitated sight, blinking back the tears that were mere second from breaking away as you remembered ℎ𝑖𝑚 “There’s nothing to talk about”. You would never imagine how much a heartbreak would hurt. It felt like you had lost a whole part of yourself, a part that would never come back.

“It was never meant to last anyway” you said finally, hoping that they would just drop the subject. It was true, you knew that this relationship would work out, couldn’t work out. He was, well he could have whoever he wanted, what special did you have? Well certainly not whatever he wanted.

A month, it had been a month. A whole month with tiring days and endless, sleepless nights. Your under eyes were bruised and your body had changed. The work was swallowing you whole but it did wonders when it came to forgetting him.

Mor, cassian, rhysand, Feyre, even amren and nesta would come to talk to you and make sure that you were okey. You had also realized that Azriel, himself was trying get you to talk to him.

He’d do some hopeless tries. He’d tell Azriel to convince you to join the dinners and start coming on the inner circle gathering more often, mor had told you. But you just knew that whoever Azriel had wanted instead of you just didn’t feel the same way so he tried to found you again.

As you were drowning in you thought a knock was heard, weird. Nobody and told you anything about any visit today. You stood up and made your way towards the door, it was probably cassian and he probably had forgotten to tell you that he would visit.

But you weren’t ready for the person that was standing right outside your doorway. Muscular, tall Illyrian, wings tucked in tightly, grazed eyes scanning you whole. Look filled with guilt. 𝐴𝑧𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑙.!

“Hey” he gave you a soft smile, but it did nothing to hide the pained expression that lingered on his eyes.

You averted your gaze as you clenched your jaw. For a moment you contemplated shutting the door in front of his face, scream at him, or even launch yourself at him.

He had lied to you, he had hurt you, he never trusted you and you didn’t know what was worse the fact that he never saw you seriously or the fact that you believed in this relationship- you believed in him….

“What do you want?” You fought with everything you’ve got for your expression to remain neutral.

“I want yo talk, I- I know what I did was wrong and I know that I hurt you, deeply, but” he paused taking a deep breath as if to calm himself.

“But what?” You snapped venomously and he flinched, he actually flinched “You come here trying to what? Apologize?” You started pacing “I am your mate, and I can understand and accept the fact that you don’t want the bond, that you don’t want something more intimate between us but not telling me? That’s was beyond cruel, because you knew, you 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 that I wanted to find my mate, you knew that I wanted you to be my mate and you didn’t care”

Azriel’s eyes widened in disbelief as he heard you talking. You laughed bitterly “you’ve been dragging me besides you for years and for what Azriel? For what? To dump me when you’ve found someone better? Someone that you actually want?” You blinked furiously trying to restrain your tears.

“Y/n please, I- I do have feeling for yo-“ Azriel tried but you were quick to interrupt him once again. “You think that I’m mad because you don’t have feelings for me? You’re unbelievable! I angry because you hid something like this from me, you humiliated me”

“No!” His voice rose slightly “I never said that, just please let me talk” you snorted but let him go on “I- I love you, all this years weren’t a waste for me. I knew you were my mate from them moment I first saw you. I hid it and it was wrong of me, yes. But I did it because I didn’t want you to feel obliged to accept the bond, I wanted you to see me, I wanted the best for you and still am and I know that I’m not the one that can make you happy y/n” his eyes shone, tears threatening to escape.

“I love you so, so much and the fact that I cannot be the one to make you happy… it kills me. I do t deserve you, I never did and I never will do yes I’m sorrry that I hurt you, I’ll never forgive myself for this but I don’t regret not telling you about the bond from the start, because I know- mother burn me, I know that I’m not the best for you” he was crying, the legendary shadow singer 𝑤𝑎𝑠 crying in front of you.

Your heart broke at the sight of him, at the sight of someone you cared abott it so deeply being so vulnerable in front of you. “Azriel I- I had no idea” you couldn’t restarting your own tears. “I- you, you are amazing you deserve 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 this world can give you, you are everything I could ever wish for and even more. If someone does not deserve this relationship is me. I’m sorry. I- I love you”

His lowered head rose as you uttered the last words, his lips twitched slightly, but the smile didn’t last long as he continued talkibg “It’s not that I don’t trust you, I do trust you, it’s just hard for me to share my feelings and sometimes I need some time before I am ready to talk about some things. But I swear I’ll try, I’ll try so hard to be everything you want me to be. You are my everything”

It was your turn to smile “I love you, I love you, I love you” you repeated again and again as this head lowered, his lips met yours and the room erupted. The kiss was filled with all the love you two had for each other.

“I love you more” he whispered as he pulled you in for a hug.

#a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #a court of thorns and roses #a court of wings and ruin #acotar #azriel #shadowsinger #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction #azriel fluff #azriel x reader #azriel angst #inner circle #acosf #acotar fluff #acomaf #acowar #acotar x reader #illyrian

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toxicbubblegum212 · 3 years

Text

Maze runner boys ~When they need you most ~

Minho: “I hate this place...I shucking hate it. We’re all just here getting comfortable living with a bunch of lies.” You look over at Minho shocked “Minho...whats wrong?” you place a hand softly on his shoulder as your eye brows frown. “You don’t get it Y/n...you don’t get what it feels like running throughout that maze everyday. To run straight through hell then just have it appear right back in front of you...the glade is just as bad as the maze its self.”

“Minho..what has gotten into you!” your taken back at this point. Minho has never been like this not once. He was always so fun loving and positive. “The Glade is not the heavenly place it’s made out to be...the Glade is just to torment you, to abuse your own sanity. Ever since the moment all of us had appeared in that box we were already doomed.”

“NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME MINHO!” you stand up straight in front of him. “Why are you living in the past, why are you thinking about the future...enjoy the present. Where you have me..newt..chuck..thomas and everyone else in the glade. Why torture yourself with polluted fantasies. Focus on whats happening now Minho. Because Now is what matters.”

Minho looks up into you eyes. Minho had never seen you look more beautiful than in this very moment. You looked strong, determined and confident. You stood tall and proud. Your eyes glistens with hunger and desire, Minho never told you this but he looked up to you quite a lot. Your good with words, a smart thinker and an excellent leader. Minho loved you for that...even in the darkest of times you still lead and he would still follow. Till one day with you by his side..he will take your hand and lead the way. The way to a place more precious than the word itself..the way to your heart.

Newt: “Im done Y/n...im infected. Im sorry...” Newt’s peer’s down into your eyes. There glossy and are threatening to spill at any moment. “Why are you apologising?” you coo softly, bringing your hand up to his cheek. Newt’s tears start to slide “Because i failed..i failed you” Newt chokes out. He engulfs you in a hug, his hands gripping on your back tightly. Newt starts sobbing into your shoulder, you run your hand through his messy blond hair. “You haven’t failed me love...i never had any expectations. I just wanted you to be you...the person that i want to love. Being a crank won’t change that..” Newt pulls back surprised, he looks in your eyes and he see’s hope. “What are you saying love..” he says softly.

“How do you think i survived all those years alone..” you pupils dilated, your skin started to go pail and veins slowly creeped in. “Who said that it had to be the end...why not make it your own new begging...make it yours...and TAKE IT!” you look sternly into Newts eyes. There were no longer any tears. Newt wasn’t scared anymore, he knew everything was going to be ok.

Newt raised his hand to your sickly pail cheek, your once red roses lips now dark and faded. “You know love you still look just as beautiful as the day i first met you...even if you are a crank.”

“I don’t see problem in it love? Do you” you smirk up at him.

“Not at all..” Newt pulls you close hoping that this moment never end.

Timeskip

Newt eventually became a crank but there’s was still hope. You stuck by his side through thick and thin. Endured all of his pain and anger and now your both out there in a world thats gone to shit. Still just as in love with each other as you where before. Newt is happy and healthy again, you taught him how not to succumb too is rage and the virus itself. Your love created hope and it will continue to create hope...for a new world. Where there is no need for a cure where the flair doesn’t matter. Where both cranks and humans can live as one. You both look forward to seeing Thomas again some day.

Thomas: “You know maybe their right it is all my fault....” Thomas said looking down at the floor as he sat on the bed. You slowly walk over to him you raise your hand brushing it under his chin, lifting it up. “Whats wrong” you whisper, you know Thomas is in a lot of pain right now. “I miss him Y/n, i miss all of them...why do i have to go around and ruin everything. We could have stayed at the glade and been happy..and not lose anybody.” He cries into his hands, Thomas uncontrollably sobs, you wrap your arms around his shoulders as he cuddles into your chest. You push his head more to your chest as your arms rub his back and stroke his hair. “Don’t stop dreaming Thomas...dreams aren’t just fantasies..there what we want to be. You fought for freedom, equality, peoples hopes, dreams, love , passion...everything. Your the reason why now is a better place. Not just for us but for our future..our children there children and it goes on. You took on the world..did the impossible. So live it up...for Newt..Alby..Chuck and Gally. They don’t have this chance but we do.” you finish whispering. Thomas looks up at you with is cute dreamy eyes, you push some strands out of his face. Before kissing his forehead.

Gally: Minho and Thomas are seen dragging you back into the maze after being abducted by the Grievers. They were sure that you were dead..but clearly no.

They rush you to the med jack, carefully placing you down. You were unconscious, you had no injures at all not even a scratch. They decided to leave you alone and wait till you wake up. As they exit the hut Gally quickly enters...he had been so worried.

He gazes over at your limp body. You face was so still, calm and perfect like a porcelain doll, the light highlighted all your features. You plum lips, long lashes and messy hair. He proceeded to come closer laying a hand on your head as he softly caressed your hair. “What did they do to you?” he says out of the blue.

You groan opening you eyes “...im...im sorry but-t...i dont think i know you.” you say staring up at him a bit confused. Gally’s face dropped, his hearted ached..this could not be happening. “It’s me Y/n...this isn’t funny.” Gally said looking deep into your eyes. “Im sorry sir but i really have no clue..” Gally’s eyes watered, the tears soon started escaping. The most beautiful. person be valued above everything else was gone. All he has now is a shell of the girl he once had . A Girl that could kick is his ass in a brawl, the girl that would challenge him in ever way, the girl that drove him crazy and the only one who ever put him in his place. “Did i do something wrong..im sorry if i made you cry sir.” you picked up a cloth and began wipping Gally’s cheeks. He smiled a genuine smile, even though you have forgotten everything about him, you still treated him the same. You still looked at him with care in your eyes. Gally is determined to get you back and he’s gonna do what ever it take. His Y/n i still in there, he just has to go find her.

#the maze runner x you #the maze runner x reader #maze runner fluff #tmr #tmr chuck #tmr newt #tmr thomas #tmr minho #tmr gally #tmr alby #fluffy #sweet

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writerofshit · 3 years

Text

(I mentioned briefly a story of how the Stream Team met. This is that story.)

Somewhere in Los Santos, in the late night hours of a Tuesday, a convenience store is robbed. So is one several blocks southeast. And one roughly in the middle of them both. After all, what's more convenient than 24 hour chili dogs on every other street corner?

Cash. Cash is more convenient. So are guns. Hollering, waving one to get the other. Most important, back alleys that twist and turn, snaking away from increasingly distant sirens. Three individuals find themselves running through these alleys, a couple grand each weighing their pockets down.

It's through serendipity and convenience that their paths cross.

The man from the farthest store arrives first. He's done this a few more times than he'd like to admit, so he'd had a plan. Of sorts. Cut through the park, take a few sidewalks like an upstanding citizen, under the bridge and find a fire escape to utilize from there. There aren't any that reach the ground, of course, because he's smart but not quite enough.

And so this is why Trevor is standing in an dark alley, contemplating whether or not the dumpster will give him enough height to reach the ladder, when the man from the middle store appears. He's around Trevor's height, but would probably win in a fight between them, if he were so inclined. He doesn't seem to be, though. He seems shaken, like he's not quite sure how he ended up in this alley. He's holding a gun almost gingerly, as if it might bite him.

Trevor pulls his own gun.

'dont you fuckin' try anything!'

This does not go over well with Matt. He takes a step back, and then seems to remember that he also has a gun so maybe this is even footing. He holds it aloft, finger nowhere near the trigger.

'same, asshole!'

At this moment the robber from the first store arrives, also, of course, with a gun. And a mask. And an entire purple and orange neon fucking suit, actually, topped with a white cowboy hat. It gives them a few extra inches of height they are distinctly lacking, comparatively. Somewhere in the back of his head, Trevor acknowledges that this newcomer could probably kick his and the other gunman's asses. It is not a pleasant thought.

'oh, what the fuck!?'

Jeremy sounds more annoyed and less scared than one would think, considering they've run into an alley only to find two men with guns. Two men who quickly turn those guns on them.

'who the fuck are you?'

The question surprises them all, including Matt, even though he's the one who asked. As it turns out, people have a tendency to say the first thing that comes to mind when in a stressful situation. Such as, having robbed a convenience store for the very first time and immediately finding himself face to face with other apparent robbers. It would get to anyone, probably.

'i don't want any trouble, but i've already robbed someone tonight and i don't give a shit about felony murder!'

Two lies and a truth, is what Trevor has chosen to play, for some reason. In reality, one does not rob a convenience store at gun point if one is intent on staying out of trouble. And he does, in fact, care very deeply about felony murder. Felony murder is the precise reason he'd shot a bag of Doritos and not a clerk. In his defense, the clerk had initially rolled her eyes at him, asked what exactly he thought he'd get out of this. He'd found this question rude.

The truth, of course, is that he did rob a convenience store. That did happen. No take backs.

'so did i!'

Matt and Jeremy speak so in unison it's almost scary. If they didn't know any better, they'd think the two of them had always known each other.

Trevor's gun wavers between them, unsure which is the bigger threat. The guy who clearly has zero experience with guns, or the weirdo who seems to have far too much? It's a toss up, really. So his aim pinballs back and forth, but his finger does not curl around the trigger. He's serious about that felony murder thing.

The air seems to shift, suddenly, and the sound of sirens is now growing closer. This evidently also annoys Jeremy, and they throw a glance over their shoulder to the direction they'd come from. Red and blue lights flicker past.

'shit. ok. we're all robbers, i guess, and we're all fucked if we keep standing here. who's got a plan?'

Jeremy's eyes are staring impatiently at Trevor. Eyes being the only part of their face Trevor can see. And their hands, a plastic bag in one and a gun in the other.

Trigger finger is an apt name.

He glances at Matt, still wild eyed and glancing back and forth. No, Matt probably does not have a plan. He sort of gives the impression that he's never had a plan ever, actually. That perhaps he'd simply woken up here and decided to wing it. So Trevor makes an offer.

'fire escape?'

There's another moment of tense silence. Well, minus the sirens. And oh, helicopters. Even better. Jeremy shrugs.

'good a plan as any.'

And then they're off, brushing past Trevor and hoisting themself up onto the dumpster. He knew it could work. Trevor blinks and Jeremy has caught the ladder, is quickly working their way up. Shit, how does five foot something manage to get that high on a good day, much less in this situation and with a bag and gun in hand?

Matt's gun clatters to the ground, and honestly, that's probably for the best. He's climbing onto the dumpster now, and he mutters something about not signing up for this shit. Trevor reminds him that he apparently robbed someone, so yeah, he kind of did.

Before Trevor climbs up, he shoves his gun into his jacket pocket. Smart? Probably not. Convenient? More so than climbing with a gun in his hand. He follows Matt up the ladder, wondering what happened to his plan. Yeah, the ladder had been involved. Two other people, however, were not.

Above them, glass shatters.

'warning, maybe!?'

'oops. careful, there's glass.'

Jeremy's voice is no longer directly above them. Instead, it comes from one story up and a little to the left. So they've broken into an apartment. Sure, add breaking and entering to the list of charges, that sounds great. But Matt and Trevor follow, because there's not really another option.

Inside the apartment, Jeremy's mask is gone. The suit is quickly disappearing as well, revealing a rather boring outfit of a white tank top and...sweatpants? The true mystery lies in where the cowboy hat has gone to, because that's a hard item to miss.

'do we really have time for this? don't you think someone might, oh, i don't know, wake up and call the cops?'

Trevor doesn't mean to hiss, it's just that he's sure there's more pressing matters to attend to than an outfit change. Continuing to flee, perhaps.

'nobody's gonna wake up.'

They don't even have the wherewithal to lower their voice. It registers to Trevor that Jeremy's bag and gun are missing as well. Had they dropped them on the way up? It was certainly possible. Trevor thinks he would have noticed a gun flying past his head, but there's a lot going on.

'can we maybe not kill anyone? he brought up a good point with that felony murder thing.'

It's the most words Matt has strung together since he'd shown up. It's damn near a whisper, but at least it's progress.

'i'm not- god, can you two shut up? i gotta make a phone call.'

Jeremy yanks the door open, hand carefully wrapped in the fabric of their shirt. For a moment, Trevor thinks they're leaving and steps forward to follow Jeremy. Instead, Jeremy turns and heads toward the kitchen, pulling open a drawer and digging inside it briefly. They come back with a cell phone.

Something dawns on Trevor.

'is this- do you live here? did you break your own window?'

Jeremy doesn't answer. They put the phone to their ear.

'you're gonna wanna hide whatever you've got. and try not to look like you just climbed in through a window.'

And then-

'hello? yes, hi, i'd like to report a break in, i think? i was hearing a bunch of sirens and then i don't know what happened but some guy just broke my window? he ran through and i just- my friends and i are really scared and we didn't know what to do- yes, we're ok, he's gone, but we- you'll send someone? ok, thank you. the address? oh, uh, it's the del perro heights building, apartment 7. should i shut the door? no, don't touch anything. ok- guys, don't touch anything, she said someone's on their way to check on us! thank you so much- no, i think we'll be fine. thank you.'

It's a marvelous performance. Jeremy genuinely sounds like some poor flustered victim of a crime. Trevor would applaud if he thought Jeremy would appreciate it. Almost immediately, their voice is back to normal.

'check things out my ass. they're gonna show up, ask which way he went and never call me again. feel real fuckin safe.'

Jeremy settles themself onto the couch, choosing the spot closest to the door. Matt, who has apparently gotten over his initial terror, wanders into the kitchen. Searching for something to distract himself, if Trevor had to guess. Trevor is still standing in the middle of the living room, dumbfounded. How did a simple robbery become hanging out with other robbers, waiting for cops to show up?

'i'm jeremy, by the way. they won't ask, but y'know. just in case.'

They're flipping channels on the tv, seeming to arbitrarily skip almost a dozen programs. Finally, they settle on one and stand. Trevor recognizes it as an old Disney movie, and desperately wants to ask why the fuck Jeremy has put this on.

'uh, hi. i'm trevor. why are we watching Mulan?'

'matt. oh hell yeah, i love this movie!'

He sounds remarkably cheerful, considering the circumstances. How Trevor had seemingly switched places with Anxious McGee is beyond him. He needs to get it together. He pulls his gun from his pocket and takes it to the kitchen, sticking it in the drawer Jeremy had taken the phone from. There are several other phones of varying price point. He steps back to the living room just in time.

'that's why.'

They don't elaborate. Apparently Trevor is meant to just figure this out on his own, which ordinarily he might be able to do. After the course of events of this particular evening? Not a chance.

But he can't ask, because now there's a cop in the doorway and he's staring at Trevor and that will never be a good thing. Trevor stares back. He has no clue what he's meant to say. Hello? Welcome? He went that way?

'oh thank god! we've been so terrified, we didn't know if he'd come back or what he'd do.'

Naturally, Jeremy has taken lead on this. They're a phenomenal actor, Trevor has to admit.

'did you see which direction he went?'

'toward the stairs, i think. we've all been rooted to the spot, you know, it's so scary-'

Matt freezes in the doorway of the kitchen. He's just out of the view from the front door.

'right, well. you boys did the right thing by calling. can you give me a description of the man?'

The corner of Jeremy's mouth quirks.

'gosh, it all just happened so fast. taller than me, probably, but shorter than you, wouldn't you say, trey?'

Trevor nods, because he's not quite sure what else to do.

'alright, thank you. someone will be in touch with you for an official statement. in the meantime, if you remember anything else don't hesitate to call.'

He's holding a card out to Trevor, of all people. He takes it carefully, like if he does it wrong somehow the guy will know and arrest them all. The card is simply the number for a tip line.

As suddenly as he'd arrived, the cop is gone and they're all breathing sighs of relief. Jeremy closes the door.

'you guys can stay for Mulan, if you want.'

So they do.

Trevor asks about why Mulan again, and Jeremy explains that they assume most people have seen it, could answer any questions about it if they came up. Perhaps, if LSPD officers were less incompetent, they would have. Although if that were the case, they wouldn't be LSPD officers at all.

Matt asks about the window, and Jeremy says yes, they did break their own window. Of course they'd had an actual plan when they'd entered the alley. They were always going to end up exactly here, give or take the extras. Asking for a plan was simply a test, determining the merit in bring them along. They'd passed.

Jeremy asks if they want to stay for Mulan II, which is apparently up next. They do.

Somewhere in Los Santos, in the early morning hours of a Wednesday, three convenience stores are recovering from three separate robberies. Right in the middle of them all, their respective robbers are sitting on a couch together, watching a straight to video children's film.

It is the beginning of something far greater than any of them can imagine.

#is this dumb? maybe. did i have way too much fun writing it? absolutely.#is this how any of this would go irl? god no. is it still fun? hell yeah.#fahc #fake ah crew #ks writes

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zu-zup · 4 years

Text

You know what im tired of ice cold haida takes appearing in the aggretsuko s3 tag so my thots episode 10 are as follows:

1. We really dont know how long its been since the INCIDENT, but i think for retsuko to be at risk of losing her damn job i think shed have to take quite the leave. And think about it, it makes sense that shed spend days if not months, holed up in her parents house with her overbearing mother and completely isolating herself from her friends for them to try to get her out with teeth and nails. Its not like them to be insensitive of the trauma she went through and drag her straight back to work after AN ATTEMPTED MURDER HOLY SHIT

2. Is haida an idiot if hes clinging on to the hope of them being together even after being rejected? Yes! Retsuko says it herself basically! But this isnt what the karaoke scene was really about in my opinion. Retsuko has pushed away her work friends away for long enough, treating them like acquaintances and bottling up her secrets for years and she genuinely doesnt seem to realize how much both fenneko and haida care for her. She rejects haida especially because of his romantic interest but really she rejected his friendship just as well. And haida is fed up, the feelings he talks about - its his care for retsuko above all else. Despite what retsuko thinks, hes not trying to be her knight in shining armor. Hes just trying to help a friend in need - in a rash, spontaneous, maybe stupid kinda way, but its his way.

3. If not for that matchmaking result hed never have worked up the courage to see retsuko at all. It gave him hope that maybe if he cant be retsukos boyfriend, he can at least still care for her, and if those results are anything to go off on - that the two of them could get slong as really good friends. Not just acquaintances or coworkers - it gave him hope that he can actually do something for her instead of passively watching her suffer from the sidelines as she lies to his face that everything is fine. That was his breaking point! And really when retsuko tells haida not to impose his feelings on her and mind his business (which is a totally reasonable thing for her to say) i can see why he gets so agitated. Just because youve been rejected doesnt mean you stop caring about said person, when theyre suffering, it pains you to know theres nothing you can do. It pains you for your help to be rejected the same way. This isnt some twisted way haida's trying to get retsuko to like him, his intentions lie in helping her get back on her feet with the support of a friend (i.e. himself). True, the whole ordeal mightve not looked the best onscreen, (with how suddenly haida acted) but i really think this was the intention behind it.

3. Retsuko can be too passive for her own good, and if she wasnt gloated to stand her ground, scream out her emotions, and face her fears again, shed have never gotten out of her funk. Despite haidas strange methods, it turned out to be exactly what she needed yall. That much can be certain! I doubt the two of them are together now, but i think this episode was crucial in retsukos journey of opening up to people and not being scared of asking people for help. And in a similar way, a step to trusting haida.

Haida talks a lot of how he doesnt really know retsuko all that well - but he surely knows her better than she does him. Maybe this is the moment where retsuko finally realizes that shes been misunderstanding his good intentions all this time and makes an effort to get to know him, and fenneko just as well, which doesnt have to be romantic anyway.

TL;DR

Haida made the right choice bringing retsuko to the karaoke bar and helping her not lose her job, suck my dick

#aggretsuko #aggretsuko s3 #aggretsuko spoilers #amazing season btw #and haida is a gem no i do not take constructive criticism #aggretsuko haida #retsuko #retsuko x haida

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potteresque-ire · 3 years

Note

hello, ily metas! thank you for taking the time for them. i hope you dont mind an ask with two follow up questions to your metas i'm curious about: 1) has mxtx rly been sentenced? i have seen others also share this news but other fans have quickly dismissed and gotten pissed at these reports for being fake news that are bad for mxtx, and as fearmongering. 2) for those who want to support yizhan but not the ccp, do you have advice how to navigate fan support and interaction with their media?

Hello! I apologise for the late reply! You’ve brought up some interesting points, so please forgive me for responding with an essay.

First, about MXTX — This is a follow-up to this post.

Unfortunately, this is all we got—all everyone has got about MXTX’s current situation: on 2020/11/10, she was sentenced in Hangzhou Shang Cheng District’s People’s Court (杭州市上城區人民法院). No details were given on her verdict, due to “人民法院認為不宜在互聯網公布的其它情形” (“The People’s Court decided it inappropriate to announce further details on the internet”). Here’s a link with the screenshot that showed all the information released about the case that day.

There are enough copies of similar screenshots to this one online, with the differences dependent on where the publisher pulled the information from the same website: 中國裁判文書網, an online archive of verdicts run by China Supreme People’s Court. There’re few reasons, therefore, to believe the information on the screenshot was fake. The link I used was Sina’s Financial News, which I believe is trustworthy enough for China’s standard.

It is also important to note, of course, that two scenarios may still render this screenshot irrelevant. 1) The verdict, which was not mentioned in the screenshot, was “not guilty” and 2) the name listed in the case, 袁依楣, was not MXTX at all.

Few have seemed to suspect 2) to be a possibility. Her real name might have been prior knowledge among some fans, or the combination of her surname and city of residence. 1) has been the where the concern / debate is.

I included China’s rate of conviction in the original post for this reason: acquittal is exceedingly rare (<0.1%) for the arrested in China. This short article discussed some reasons.

So, is it possible that MXTX is now a free woman? Yes. Is it likely? Not at all.

Still, since the probability that MXTX is imprisoned isn’t 100%, is spreading this news smearing her name? Fear-mongering?

I can only answer for myself, Anon, but my answer is no for both questions, which is why I’ve felt comfortable posting about her case. MXTX’s alleged “crimes” are things we already knew she did, or common practices among Chinese IP writers. We know she penned MDZS and other BL works; we know MDZS, in particular, has an 18+ element. She was said to have sold merch based on her works, but that wasn’t unusual at all for writers in Jinjiang, where she published her writing. Even those who don’t like her have seemed to agree that it was her writing that got her into trouble, not some other crimes she could’ve committed.

IMO, a guilty verdict doesn’t tell us as much about her as it does about the judicial system, the business practices of her country. It’s worth re-mentioning that media giants such as Tencent are closely tied to the government; Tencent’s WeChat, for example, is part of China’s Great Firewall and is used for surveillance, for censorship and removal of political dissidents. What MXTX’s case hints at is this: the government has (very likely) convicted her, while its close allies are continuing to use her works—works that got her into legal trouble in the first place—to make money. Some fans of MXTX have questioned if the courts have censored the details of the case to save the embarrassment of the rich and powerful, calling what has happened to MXTX 人血饅頭 (“human blood steamed buns”), an idiom used to describe the act of profiting out of someone elses’ life.

As for fear-mongering, here are my thoughts ~ it would’ve been fear-mongering if the public has access to the facts, and not years after they happen. Specifically, it would’ve been fear-mongering to leak the rumours of MXTX’s sentencing, when the judicial system is transparent and the case details will soon be published for all to see. Why? Because “fear” comes from the unknown, and “-monger” is the unnecessary promotion, stirring-up of this fear.

To promote, stir up anything, one needs a reference level. The reference level in this scenario is this: what is the level of fear if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? Of course, this knowledge doesn’t make MXTX’s experience any easier or more just; it doesn’t cause her less fear. However, she isn’t the target audience of this likely-to-be-true rumour. The target audience is the public and in particular, those who consume and/or generate BL material online.

What is the level of fear among this population if the facts about MXTX’s (and other BL writers’) situation are known? It’s the (relative) comfort in knowing the government’s stance on what they do: how the administration feels about BL, 18+ BL, and their distribution methods. The comfort comes from having the right information to decide how to act accordingly. For example, if I’m a BL writer based in China and I know the court has found MXTX guilty of bypassing publishing houses but not of writing M/M romance, then I’ll know to not produce paper versions of my writing, but I can keep writing.

This reference level of fear is unavailable here, however, since the government has decided to withhold all details about the case. Without this reference level, fear-mongering becomes a ... difficult to define concept.

Are these likely-to-be-true rumours agents of fear, or are they hints on how to survive in a country that lacks transparency?

Continuing with the example of I being a Chinese BL writer, since I cannot expect to hear more facts about MXTX, this rumour is all I’ve got in choosing what to do with my hobby, in deciding whether it is safe to continue. As I’m aware that a rumour isn’t a fact, I first research on the rumour’s likelihood of truth (similar to what I’ve done for MXTX’s case), and cross my fingers that I don’t get it wrong.

By doing so, I’m turning these rumours into my survival guide.

Is it risky? Yes. Is it exhausting? Absolutely. But this is the way of life for people who live under secretive, authoritarian governments—the authoritarian element making it impossible to demand more facts. It may take people outside such regimes some time to get used to—to the lifestyle, and to the idea that, in a place where news is often synonymous with propaganda, rumours are breadcrumbs of truth that should be sieved through with equal care as one would sieve through the news. Heeding, considering the probable truth of what the authority has deemed to be fear-mongering rumours can be a matter of literal life and death.

Take...COVID. (I apologize for bringing up this unpleasant topic!)

I shall link to an article about the early spread of COVID in Wuhan here and ask: were Dr. Li Wenliang and the seven other doctors fear-mongering? Wuhanese chose to believe in the government, but at what cost to them? What would the world be like today if they took the early COVID rumours as true and masked up like Hong Kongers—Hong Kongers who weren’t any smarter or better, but had simply learned their painful lessons from the 2003 SARS epidemic?

(Why hadn’t the Wuhanese learned? Because the government has long changed the narrative of SARS, taught their people that the illness originated in Hong Kong.)

(How can one learn from past mistakes if one pretends those mistakes never existed?)

You must be wondering, Anon, why I’m talking about COVID when your next question is about YiZhan. The death of Dr Li Wenliang on February 7th, 2020, sparked a demand for freedom of speech rarely seen in internet-age China. Its fury, its ferocity forced the government to change its stance on Dr Li, again an unusual move. Since January 2020, Weibo had been censoring COVID news and opinion pieces that shedded a negative light to the central government; after the death of Dr Li, the censorship apparatus stepped up, making way for the propaganda machine to kick in later and change the narrative of the pandemic.

Here are some questions without definite answers, but may be food for thought for YiZhan fans:

1) While the Chinese government’s censorship apparatus (including Weibo) might have silenced the voices of dissent, of mourning on the surface, was it more likely to pacify, or fuel the anger of netizens, many of whom had lost loved ones, many of whom were still under quarantine?

2) Less than three weeks after the death of Dr Li, a group of fans demanded even *more* censorship from the government—the closing of an internet website that had been seen as a relatively free space to express oneself. How would these netizens react, even though they knew little about these fans or their idol?

(It was, in the context of the massive silencing of COVID discussions in China, that I learned about the ban of AO3. There had been rumours that the government would censor more websites on 2020/03/01. When I read about AO3′s ban on 2/27, my thoughts were 1) Hmm. This came two days early. 2) AO3? Really?)

(I wouldn’t watch The Untamed or know who Gg was until several months later.)

Now, Anon, this is a good time to get to your CCP (Chinese Communist Party) question.

The very short answer is no. There’s no way to support YiZhan without, to a certain level, supporting the CCP. As mentioned above, the media companies are all part of China’s surveillance system. Weibo is where freedom of speech is curbed. Our two boys have been part of the propaganda machine; the BBC article linked above had a tiny picture of Gg on it, as he was a performer in the Hero in Harm’s Way (最美逆行者), a “real-life based” drama on COVID. DD just did a show glorying the Chinese police force (and here’s a video of the same force welding doors to lock in COVID-stricken residents).

Nonetheless, here’s my first advice: please do not beat yourself up for supporting YiZhan!

Gg and Dd are people who live within the system, inside the Great Firewall. They understand the world the way their government has taught them to—not only in school, but also in the news and media. Like most youths in every country, they’re patriotic—and to expect them to be otherwise, especially because of information they don’t have, is both unrealistic and unfair. Even if they do know about certain things impermissible within the Firewall, in China (as in many Communists countries), openly expressing / performing one’s proper political leanings (ie. loyalty towards CCP) is among the most important pre-requisites for any job. This has been especially true for c-ent in recent years .

They, like most of their countrymen, are doing what they have to do.

In this case, it comes to us, our decisions on how to interact with their works. How should we deal with them, their propaganda elements?

The answer, of course, varies from person to person. Personally, I’ve chosen the approaches of “immunisation” and “restriction”. By “immunisation”, I mean learning about as much historical and sociopolitical facts from non-CCP sponsored sources; this is understandably difficult for someone who doesn’t already have some familiarity with the culture and politics of the region, and/or cannot read the language.

Restriction means limiting my consumption of media produced by China. I avoid shows (dramas, documentaries, variety etc) featuring topics that are likely to contain heavy propaganda, such as the military, the police, Hong Kong/Macao/Taiwan, and of course, anything pertaining to the CCP, from its rise to its governance of the country.

In general, I’m wary of all information presented about the post-monarchy years (post 1911), even though CCP wouldn’t begin its reign until after WWII (1949). Why so early? 1) Because CCP was formed in 1921 and so its glorification requires a change of narrative since then; 2) because the Nationalist Party (Kuomintang, KMT), which governed China between 1912 and 1949 (the so-called Republican Era 民國), would end up exiling to and setting up a new government in Taiwan.

How much propaganda should one expect in shows depicting the country post-1911? The current TV and webdrama directives (previously discussed in this post) offer some hints. Here are my translations of the relevant items:

D7) Dramas about the Republican era: Glorification of the Republican Era, the Beiyang Government, and Warlord Era requires strict control.

D10) Crime drama: crime drama is the focus of content auditing. The Ministry of Public Security (Pie note: in charge of law enforcement, ie, police) will be involved in the audit. The process of crime solving cannot be exposed; criminal psychology and motivations can however be depicted in detail. Undercover police cannot use drugs or kill, or damage the image of the police force. Criminals must be punished by law.

D12) Dramas featuring realistic topics: realistic topics must adhere to the correct world view, philosophy of life and moral values. They cannot place too strong an emphasis on social conflicts, must showcase the beautiful lives of the commoners. Regular folks should display larger-than-life sentiments and aspirations; they can pursue wealth, but must use proper means to do so; they cannot damage the public image of specific employment types, groups and social organisations. Do not preach negative or decadent world view, philosophy of life and moral values. Do not exaggerate, amplify social issues; do not over showcase, display the darker sides of society; do not preach affluence, avoid things that have no basis in real life.

D16) Dramas featuring the Revolution (Pie note: CCP’s coming to power): 2019 is the publicity period of the 70th Anniversary of the People’s Republic of China. Although the “Three Importances” (important revolution, important people, important events) are still encouraged, the National Radio and Television Administration requires all departments, at all levels, to strengthen the control of content and the overall management of the industry, and focus on the auditing of content pertaining to the Sino-Japanese war and espionage dramas.

These directives (as those translated in the other post) are as vague as they are restrictive, and to err on the side of caution, production companies tend to “overachieve” to avoid going against headwinds at the censorship board. This means their products have a tendency to malign the Republican Era (D7). It means they will likely twist history in trying to depict the CCP as faultless heroes (D16). It means they'll probably present a utopian-like society and call it reality-based (D12), a society in which the good guys share the same values as the CCP and always win (D10).

Yes, my “restriction” means I skipped Hero in Harm’s Way. It means I’ve never listened to Gg’s version of 我和我的祖國 despite my absolute adoration of his voice. It means I just missed Dd’s performance in the law enforcement celebration event. It means I don’t plan on watching Being A Hero and Ace Troops.

So here’s where I’ve drawn the line, Anon, but it doesn’t mean that’s what anyone should do. Only you alone can decide where your own comfort zone is. I write these metas in the hopes that it can offer a … gateway for those who’d like to understand, with a more telescopic lens, Gg and Dd’s country—a country that holds a particularly strong hold over its citizens’ fate including, yes, their romantic fate. It’s not my wish to impose my opinions on anyone.

If I have other hopes… It’s this. Please, as long as it’s safe for you to talk, do not self-censor—especially about facts, especially on sites like Tumblr or Twitter that have long been banned by the Chinese government. I don’t mean one should go about and confront those who insist on a different version of reality. To undo opinions rooted in years of education, IMO, the process has to be voluntary, and the information is already at the fingertips of those who’re surfing these sites and wish to learn more. More importantly, open discussions of these topics may be risky for those who still have close ties to China, and keeping them safe should always be the top priority.

What I mean is simply this ~ please do not feel obliged to agree with every perspective presented in YiZhan’s work just because you support the leads. Please do not feel you must remain silent about the CCP—its good, bad and ugly—just because your favourite stars happen to come from the country it’s ruling. And please remember: “Chinese”, as a term, has always included people who live outside CCP’s control, many of whom still fully embrace the culture, traditions and values of Historical China, a 5000-years long string of dynasties with shifting borders, ethnic makeup and customs. The Untamed is a mainland Chinese production, yes, but its genre, its manner of presenting certain traditions, wouldn’t have been developed, or flourished, without the diaspora. The CCP has only been the ruling party of one country, the People’s Republic of China, for 71 years, and as a party with foreign (soviet) roots and a record of destroying the pillar of the country’s tradition, Confucianism, it doesn’t own a monopolistic say on how every Chinese should think and act—no matter how much it insists it does—or how everyone should think and speak about China and its people.

It isn’t qualified.

#Anonymous #pie metas #pie answers #BJYX #yizhan

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jesswritesthat · 3 years

Note

omg hi i know this request sounds a bit hefty but hear me out: you’ve got y/n, and you’ve got her twin. they’re both exchange students but their school somehow messed up the application or there wasn’t enough space in one school whatever, so one of them ends up in nekoma and the other in shiratorizawa. then, they each decide to be the managers of that school’s respective teams. and then when training camp comes up, they finally meet each other again and are happy to be together but the rest of the teams are SHOOK (including their own maybe 👀👀) bc they didn’t tell their teams they had a twin. bonus points, inarizaki is there and the miya twins try to flirt w them (ships are up to you bc tbh anything sounds fun asf, idk i’ve had this idea in my head for so long IM AN ONLY CHILD I DONT EVEN HAVE A TWIN FKDKSKSKS) idk if you wanna just do headcannons go for it babes it’s a lot i know lmaooo

This is genius!! Omg, I’m not a twin either but I’m VIBING with this idea — I did headcanons because there was so muuchhh. I hope you like 💕

(T/n) = twins (first) name

>>>>—————————>

(L/n) Twins going to seperate schools and reuniting during a Shiratorizawa vs Nekoma practice match and Nationals:

• Due to unfortunate circumstances, (L/n) (T/n) had gotten into Shiratorizawa however, her twin sister (L/n) (Y/n) had to attend another school - luckily Nekoma had last minute vacancies.

• You stayed in Tokyo whilst your twin lived in the Shiratorizawa Dorms, it made seeing each other tricky but you always had video chats and since you were identical, it was easy to sneak into the dorms and stay for the weekend.

• You both loved Volleyball and had looked into your respective teams, (T/n) having the more famous one begrudgingly but being siblings... things got competitive.

“I’m going to become the manager of Shiratorizawa and I’m gonna take them to Nationals~” Was your twins cheery statement, whilst you playfully taunted her.

“Hah, more like they’ll take you, if I join Nekoma I’ll actually be useful.”

“No way - I’m a better manager than you (Y/n)!”

“Oh yeah?! Bring it on (T/n)! I’ll see you at Nationals - if you make it!” Thus, the challenge had begun.

• Nekoma and yourself had bonded, you’d heard the same about (T/n) and Shiratorizawa, it was like fate had gifted you your perfect matches in the end. Even if it meant being separated.

• It was around your second year with them that you’d heard about Karasuno, the once- upon-a-time rivals of Nekoma and how they’d organised a practice game with them over in Miyagi.

• You’d be playing other teams in the district to make it more beneficial... which is where your scheming came in.

“Hey, Tetsurō Senpai...”

“What do you want, you’re only ever so cute when you want something from me.”

“That’s not true! (Y/n)-chan is cute all of the time!” Yamamoto playfully punched his Captains shoulder, the latter reluctantly agreeing with a flush before clearing his throat and gesturing for you to continue.

“Think we could play Shiratorizawa whilst we’re over in Miyagi?”

“I’ll talk to Coach Nekomata and see what I can do, no promises though (Y/n).” Kuroo would do his best, you knew he tried for those he cared about, especially his team.

• It was no surprise then, that within 3 days you’d received a call from your twin.

“You’re coming to challenge me and my team (Y/n)?” The excitement in her voice, as well as that in yours was clear.

“You can thank Kuroo for that — you’ll finally get to meet my team!”

“And you mine! Tendō and Ushijima are incredible, I love them.” You’d spoken of respective players, shared stories and felt like you already knew part of each other’s teams despite never meeting them.

“Yes! I can’t wait - Lev isn’t coming with us, but Kenma and Yaku more than make up for it!”

“Lev is that first year you told me about right? I hope you’re ready to lose (Y/n), Goshiki is talented as hell.”

“And Nekoma is a unified machine, you’ll need a tissue to wipe away your loser tears~”

—

• Fast forward to the training trip, and the second you walk into Shiratorizawa you and your twin immediately rush over to each other, a collision of hugs, screams and excited conversation exchanged amidst the suddenly silent room.

• Tendō is the one to separate you both, guiding you to stand side by side as he leans in to inspect you both with a finger on his chin.

“Well well well, seems our Chibi-chan has a Chibi-chan 2.0~”

Ushijima doesn’t seem all that phased by the phenomenon, meanwhile Shirabu had to restrain the awed interrogation of Goshiki.

• Nekoma weren’t quite as calm, immediately Tendō hopped out of the way as Yamamoto tackled you, gawking between you and (T/n) whilst Inuoka attempted to null his yells.

“(Y/n)?! THERES TWO OF YOU?! DOUBLE THE BEAUTY!”

“Aw he’s cute, my team are never so nice to me.” (T/n) tutted, a subtle glare sent to Shiratorizawa - Satori being the one to stick his tongue out.

“Trust me, Yamamoto is the only one.” Cue your mirroring glare sent to a scheming Kuroo, whilst Nekomas Ace is still gushing over the two of you.

• The teams are moderately amused once the game starts as the main smack-talkers are you and (T/n) hollering over the court as you’d reached the Third Set at a tie. Friendships between both teams were formed due to your family relations.

• It’s not until the game is over and the Captains shake hands whilst you two hug it out with congratulatory words and playful insults that they start messing around again.

“C’mon (Y/n), we’ve gotta go~” Kuroo smugly states, purposefully slinging an arm around (T/n)s’ shoulders and guiding her out.

Before you had the chance to retaliate, Tendō gladly joined in.

“The Cat Captain is right, I’ve missed my little kitten anyway~” The redhead cheerfully gave you a high ten, intertwining your fingers in the process adding intimacy and offered a mischievous wink which you only laugh at.

• Nekoma are freaking out, that’s their manager and they’d know if you had a boyfriend, right? Yaku and Kai are quick to hold back Yamamoto with Kuroo suddenly sweeping you away from Satori since Ushijima had already reclaimed (T/n).

“That’s our kitten- ah manager.”

“And (T/n) is ours, but I look forward to seeing you at Nationals Nekoma.” The Captains bid one another farewell and you can only hope to play your twins’ team again.

—

• Shiratorizawa didn’t make it to Nationals (since Karasuno beat them) but (T/n) wanted to come and support you (bitterly). Ushijima came with her too since he’s the Captain and wanted to keep you two out of trouble. Plus he loves Volleyball.

• It’s when you’re checking the matchups do you encounter your beloved rivals, whilst Nekoma were distracted you went to scope out the area. ‘Luckily’ for you, you bumped into other competitors, the blonde ‘accidentally’ tripping.

“Woah, are you okay-“ Before you could finish, he’d interrupted all suave.

“Yeah, I just fell for ya that’s all~“

“-send me a postcard next time~”

There was a moment of silence, you impressed by the smoothness and him awed by the sheer sarcasm.

• The boy introduced himself as Miya Atsumu, Inaruzakis Setter and took note of your Nekoma jacket, asking you to watch him play if you got the chance. Especially if you become opponents.

• Bidding farewell, you found (T/n) with a bright smile upon her face, Onigiri in hand.

“The games haven’t even started and you’re eating.” Was your bemused observation, your twin scoffing with an innocent pout.

“I was hungry, and this cute player from Inarizki recommended the teriyaki Onigiri here so I brought some, wanna try?” (T/n) justified, showing the item to you.

“I met an Inarizaki player too, and I’m too nervous to eat but thanks (T/n).”

“Suit yourself, good luck and I’ll look for you later.” She rejoined Ushijima, the pair waving as you met up with Nekoma.

• It isn’t until after the first round beating Kiyokawa High School, before the Karasuno vs Inarizaki game that you’d encounter the Miyas again — or rather Atsumu approached (T/n).

“Yer scoping out the competition huh gorgeous? I don’t blame ya (L/n), ‘Samu and I are the best of the best.” The blonde proudly told (T/n), thinking you’d shed your Nekoma jacket to be inconspicuous.

“I— I don’t even know you? Wait, how do you know my name?!”

• Osamu meets the pair, and actually thinks it through, Atsumu on the other hand jumps to conclusions.

“We just saw eac-“ Hearing (T/n), Atsumu was quick to argue but Osamu kicked his calve.

“Shut it dumbass.”

“Hey, loser twin!” You called over, gaining the attention of her and the Miya Twins.

“Ah... ‘Samu there’s two of them...”

“That’s what I was gonna tell ya.”

• It must’ve been a twin instinct (twinstinct hehe) but yourself and Osamu could tell the individual differences/quirks immediately, hence how he’d figured it out so quickly. A mutual smile was shared as your respective twins continued their petty insults.

• “(T/n)! Ushijima is looking for you and I need to find Kuroo so...”

“Oh, yer boyfriends?”

“Uh - aha -no no, our Captains.” Your twin managed, flustered and embarrassed - you were glad she’d spoken because you were no better with the heat on your skin.

“Perfect, tell your Captains’ that we’re not sorry for keeping you~” Atsumu shouted as you both waved goodbye and headed back to the stands/courts.

• Nekoma won against Sarukawa Tech High, your next opponents currently battling it out on the court which you’d all raced to see - mainly for Karasuno.

But it was during the break after the first set that the twins approached the stands, well, you.

“(Y/n), ya won?” It was brave of Osamu to address you so casually but you didn’t mind.

“Of course, my team, my friends, are truly amazing. Our next opponent is either Karasuno or you.”

“You’ll be facing me- us- Inarizaki! Don’t you worry sweetheart.” It seemed whatever suaveness Atsumu once had was long gone by now.

• They played incredibly, but the entirety of Nekoma were glad of Karasunos’ victory, you’d taken a second to see the twins though.

“You were amazing, I’m grateful I got to see you both play. Looks like you won’t be facing me after all, sweetheart~”

“Yeah well- I— jus’ watch yer back next year beautiful. I’m comin’ for ya.”

“OHO! NOT ON MY WATCH PRETTY BOYS!”

“Yamamoto! Apologies for him.” Yaku forced the Mohawk to bow, Kuroo slipping an arm around your waist with a smirk. “But he’s not wrong.”

—

• You were staying with (T/n) for the weekend, utilising Shiratorizawas practice break to tell the tale of the Miyas and their flirting. The team were oddly protective over the both of you, but you hadn’t the time to question it with Goshikis inquiry.

“Okay, so if you two had children with the Miya twins respectively... would your children be identical?”

“...”

“We won’t have to find out.” If anyone else had said it you wouldn’t have believed them, but something about the certainty of Wakatoshi made you both smile.

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #anime x reader #anime headcanons #shiratorizawa #nekoma

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jimlingss · 3 years

Note

O SHOOT REQUESTS !!! ill take my chances and ask for a zombie apocalypse or pirate au ft. hoseok 👀 i couldnt choose between the two aus and im hoseok biased but i can honestly see any member so do as who u see fit. i will not let my pairing/au choice limit the authors talent 😤 and i dont doubt anything from you will satisfy. and pshhh,, where are my manners. please and thank u! love u 💛

↳ Crocodile Tears

1.8k || 98% Fluff, 2% Angst || Jung Hoseok || Pirate!AU

“Look what I nabbed, Cap’n.”

Gunner Taehyung’s grinning with all teeth, a golden chain wrapped around his fingers that’s so shiny it’s blinding with the sunlight. Hoseok’s intrigued and flips the locket in his hand. It’s heavy with a wild rose engraved on the front and once he pops it open, there’s a faded painted portrait of a young woman inside.

“It’s a booty, eh? Caught if off milady right over ‘ere.”

Hoseok hums and narrows his eyes on the wrench tied in rope sitting amongst the captives. Your face is dirtied, hair drawn in a bun at your crown but with many strands fallen around your face. Your gown rat’s coloured, dull gray. You are entirely unremarkable. Like any other peasant.

But it’s not often captives have something of value on them.

“Bring her to my cabin.”

“Aye, aye.”

The ship sets sail again. Taehyung keeps the captives quiet with the threat of throwing them overboard while the cabin boy Jungkook swabs the poop deck. Helmsman Seokjin mans the helm with navigator Namjoon by his side. The ship’s heading to dock at Port Galigeo to get a pretty penny for all the loot and treasures they’ve gotten after four months’ voyage.

Once steep waters are reached and everything’s been taken care of, Hoseok resumes to his cabin. There, he finds you, sitting in the corner on the floorboards with tears in your eyes. You gasp as he enters and shuts the door.

“Please! Spare me!” you beg sorrowfully. “Let me go!”

“Why should I?” Hoseok tosses his hat onto his table and his coat to his rickety chair. You look so frightful, even when he’s still in his drawers and shirt, held together by the red sash.

He fiddles with the many golden rings across his fingers, a habit since he began his adventures, and he comes over to you. Hoseok’s boots are heavy against the floorboards, and he crouches down to meet your trembling eyes.

“I-I am just a peasant,” you sob. “I have nothing to give to you! My father is merely a farmer.”

“Oh? Then what be this here?” Hoseok dangles the priceless locket in front of you as the corner of his lip curls. It catches the light from the tiny window of the cabin and the gold gleams against your eyes, practically sparkling like a jewel.

Your eyes flicker from it to him, hiccuping and frame quivering like a damn leaf. “It’s my grandmother’s. She left it for me before she passed.”

Hoseok hums a low note. “An’ if this be your grandmother’s, how she pay for such a treasure? Unless she been a thief.”

Your downcast head shakes. “I don’t know, I don’t know.”

He pops the locket open before taking a good look at it. “This here be a portrait of you, isn’t it? You look different. Lavish. Like a noble’s daughter.”

“T-That isn’t me.”

“Then who?”

“I don’t know.”

There’s something rather pretty in the way tears drip down your cheeks, so soft and gentle like jewels of their own right. But Hoseok has seen many women, children and men cry. It’s nothing astonishing.

Hoseok smirks, a rush of air leaving his nose. “I’ve been cap’n of this ship for nearly a decade, dearest. I’ve held treasures you could only dream of, been in battles that nearly lost my leg, sailed ‘cross the seven seas with me mates. I know when a wrench lies.”

His eyes are narrowed in on yours. And Hoseok comes closer, hand lifting to grab a hold of your chin. But before he can, before he can blink or breathe — suddenly, you brandish a piece of glass against his exposed neck.

The ropes around you clatter to the ground. Hoseok feels the sharp edge of the glass digging into his skin, a moment away from nicking him and drawing blood. But more notably, your eyes are aflame. Your expression is dark and you’re scowling at him.

Gone is the fragile little girl weeping for mercy.

“Don’t come closer,” you warn in a low voice without a single tremble.

He leans back, but his gaze stays on yours. “You reckon you could kill me?”

“I wouldn’t hesitate.”

Hoseok’s mouth curls, grin stretching into his cheek. His interest is piqued. He knew there was more to you beneath the surface, and he’s happy you haven’t disappointed.

His hand latches onto your wrist to force your hand away. It's a battle of strength. One that he ultimately wins as the piece of glass goes clattering on the ground out of your reach. He sees it’s part of a broken bottle. But Hoseok’s much too put off guard and when your leg kicks out at him, he’s smacked square in the chin.

He grips it as he lands on his ass, sharply exhaling. But then he bursts into chuckles.

“You got some mean spirit in you, sweetheart.”

Unfortunately for you, Hoseok has far too much experience in combat and capture. Even if you try to kick, strike and even bite him, it’s not too difficult to get you tied into ropes again. Except this time, he makes sure to use his special knots and get you so wound up, no sharp edge could free you.

“Let me go, bastard!”

“Settle down. You’re only gettin’ yourself riled.” Hoseok crouches in front of you again and comes to wipe away the stray tear on your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You angrily scowl at him, chest rising and falling. Crying won’t get you far now, not when he knows they’re just crocodile tears. “Don’t get yourself worried about someone hurtin’ you. Everyone on this ship swears by our code, me included.”

You scoff. “As if I’d trust a pirate.”

Hoseok smirks. “If I wanted to hurt you, I would’ve done so already. It isn’t pleasin’ for me to force a girl like yourself either. Not when I have plenty o’ gold to play with a wrench at the dock. Now I suggest you behave or my Quartermaster’ll throw you overboard.”

“Then do it!” you shout at him with your entire body, only to flop over to the floorboards.

He grips the knob of the door and looks over his shoulder. “No. You’re too much of a treasure, sweetheart.”

The sun is falling over the horizon when Namjoon approaches. “Everything go well with the girl?”

Hoseok hums and turns with a glint in his eye. “Tell all hands to keep her separate.”

Port Galigeo is reached within two days time. The waters are calm without storms and the stars are clear at night. The sailing is smooth and so the docks are reached faster than ever before.

The men aboard are eager to sell the loot, to spend a few days ashore, spend nights at the brothel and replenish the rum. As follows, their steps are quick and they move the crates of jewels and tools to the harbour. Seokjin also takes care of the captives, leading them in a straight line off the gangplank to be sold.

“Cap’n! What ‘bout the beauty ‘ere.” Taehyung points to you.

Hoseok meets your eyes and you’re seething, glaring back at him. The corner of his mouth curls in amusement.

“Leave her. Tell the lad to watch over her till we return.” He points to Jungkook and Taehyung nods with an ‘aye, aye’.

Most of his crewmen take care of business, getting as much gold for the loot as possible. But Hoseok fiddles with your pendant in hand and heads to a jeweler. Said jeweler is an old man who quivers upon seeing him, Namjoon and Seokjin in his shop. He hides behind his table and cries, “Please! Spare me! Take what you must!”

Hoseok sighs. He doesn’t know why everyone thinks so badly of him. Maybe because he’s a pirate and he and his crew have pillaged countless. That’s fair, he supposes.

“Stop yer quivering,” Seokjin spews out, leaning against his table. “We need you to look at somethin’. Hurry before I steal your silver!”

Hoseok lifts your golden locket, letting it dangle from his hand.

The old man eventually slinks out when he realizes they won’t do anything, and he takes out his magnifying glass. He motions for him to bring it forward and Hoseok does. The old man hums, studying the locket before flipping it over in his hand. His thumb brushes against the wild rose engraving.

“Where did you get this from?” he asks.

“Don’t matter,” Namjoon says curtly.

Hoseok studies the man’s face and leans closer. “What is it?”

“It is a very valuable locket. I happen to recognize this symbol as well. It is the emblem of the Crochetta Kingdom.” He pops the locket open to the portrait of the young woman and looks up at Hoseok, clearing his throat. “I believe this locket belongs to the youngest princess of that kingdom. The runaway.”

Hoseok’s brow cocks.

The three of them leave in a hurry.

Seokjin’s eyes are glazed as his mouth starts to spew how Lady Luck is truly on their side, how they’ll be able to get their hands on a high ransom or sell you for countless riches. Namjoon is perplexed at how a princess like you managed to get here when Crochetta was countries away.

But Hoseok remains quiet. He doesn’t plan to trade you. He doesn’t ask questions.

He is entirely and wholly intrigued. Like never before.

“Blimey, the ship!” There’s a shout at the docks and Hoseok is torn from his thoughts. Taehyung has his hands in the air, cursing aloud. And Hoseok’s eyes trail from him to his ship that’s off the dock and disappearing over the horizon. “It’s sailing away!”

Seokjin is aghast. “How?!”

“Who’s still on?!” Hoseok shouts, looking around the dock to all his shocked men and their mouths drawn open big enough to catch flies.

“That girl,” Namjoon says, looking at the captain.

Hoseok tied you tightly, he made sure of it. Unless you freed yourself again. But it’s not possible that you lifted the anchor.

No. You must’ve cut the rope.

“Where’s Jungkook?”

At the same time, there’s a high-pitched shriek in the distance. All of the men are held to their spots on the docks as they watch a tiny figure in the horizon get pushed off the ship’s deck and then plopped into the waters.

There’s a loud splash.

You stole the ship.

Hoseok is quiet when his men turn to him. They don’t dare utter a single word, far too afraid their captain is boiling with anger. But what frightens them far more is when Hoseok suddenly bursts out into chortling laughter.

He laughs and grins as he watches his ship sail into the distance.

You were truly a treasure hard to find. He knew it when he saw you.

And now, he’ll just have to catch you again.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #hoseok fanfic #hoseok fluff #hoseok reader insert #hoseok scenario #bts reader insert #bts drabble #bangtans-peaceful-piegon #Jimlings #let's goooo Hoseok as a hot sexy pirateee!!!

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