#Like I would just indefinitely spend time on posts adding as much as I can if there wasn't a limit

[vegitoswife-archive]

A/N: New indefinite fic project since, based on the last poll, a lot of people liked the idea of it! Certain parts may be chronological (which will be specified if so) but will in general be disconnected. Some parts may be lengthy, others short. It really depends on the prompt of them and what I can think up!

TAGLIST: @carnal-lnstinct / @yeowangies / @enayru (Like this post to be added to my tag list!)

Part 1 - Spending Time Together

CW(s): None.

★ VEGITO

-Despite how much he loved to train and exercise, you two actually got a lot of opportunities to hang around one another. Unfortunately, Vegito wasn’t really…used to it that much.

-All of Goku’s past friends very rarely sought him out for his company, his and Vegeta’s children all had their own lives, and he refused to go near Bulma or Chi Chi if he could help it, so he adapted to being alone virtually 24/7. Until you came along into his life, of course.

-He tried to hide it underneath his cocky and playful demeanor, but his fondness of you was incredibly obvious with how he sought out your company almost every day. You found it a little cute, but it additionally took on a different meaning when you learned that the chances of him being truly lonely were incredibly high. Too high. Even if he brushed off the questions, you could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t the happiest. Overall, it would likely do you both some good if you spent time getting to know one another better.

If you’re a practicing marital artist or someone who simply likes fighting, bonding with him over either or will be easy. Vegito would even be thrilled to spar with you, and see just how you’d fare against him.

If you have absolutely no combat experience, you could still have some engaging conversations with him over his own love of it. Being a Saiyan, he’s quite literally built for it. Vegito would easily get wrapped up in discussing his techniques and style, whether you understood the terminology or not, that he’d basically ramble with an enthusiastic shine to his eyes. It’s endearing.

-Outside of fighting-related activities, both of you would spend a lot of downtime in the comfort of your home. You have your own hobbies that you could try introducing to Vegito, but there’s a moderate chance depending on what they are that he either won’t understand them much or will think they’re a bit strange. Goku’s hobbies were very construction-based (the Son family’s home needed regular upkeep) and Vegeta…didn’t have hardly any hobbies at all, so Vegito wasn’t exactly dealt a deck of cards that helped him view the world outside the lens of a recluse. He was admittedly technology-inept on top of it.

-Don’t get him wrong, he likes to join you in doing things you find personal enjoyment in regardless of how weird or pointless they might come across as to him, but you’ll have to expect Vegito to be somewhat awkward with them…initially anyway. For example, he’s not going to be the best at playing a video game with you at first, but you’ll be surprised at how fast he can learn the ropes.

-If you’re an avid movie watcher, one activity you can always fall back onto with Vegito is sitting down on the couch and showing him the films you either like or think he’d get a kick out of. Especially those of the horror genre. He would be very amused in getting to see what typical things Earthlings define “horror” as being.

★ GOGETA

-If he’s not training, then chances are he’s with you.

-He honestly doesn’t really try to hide how much he likes being around you. He wouldn’t show it much on his face as he’s the stoic type, but if you ask him if he enjoys your company he’ll bluntly answer with something like “Yeah. Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

-He doesn’t talk to Goku’s past friends hardly ever, and he overall is a very reserved person. Being alone frankly doesn’t bother Gogeta much, but with you, the realization that ‘hey having someone else around is actually kind of nice’ lit up like a light switch had been flipped on. On certain days, he might even act like a puppy in a way. Just…following you around or just observing you quietly with a rather soft look.

-He’d like to learn about your hobbies, but if they’re tied to social media, he’ll definitely be staying out of them. He really values his privacy. If you’re into them: the only video games he’d ever be remotely interested in are puzzle games (especially the innovative types), but since those usually aren’t multiplayer you can’t count on him to play anything with you unless you catch him on a real good day & he feels like humoring you.

-Sure, it’s easy to discuss matters related to fighting with him, but you’ll find that he’s surprisingly very introspective; if not philosophical. There’s a lot on Earth and out in the cosmos that’s either barely known or utterly unknown. It’s not an uncommon thing to find the mysteries of life and existence itself engaging, and despite being one of the most powerful beings in the universe who has personally dealt with supernatural things, the same goes for Gogeta. His nature as a fusion already throws what’s accepted as “natural life” into disarray.

-It might be cliché, but he would greatly enjoy settling down with you somewhere quiet at night to stargaze or the like and chat with you about your own feelings about a variety of things. You can be a ‘deep thinker’ too or the sort who maintains a simplistic view of life, it won’t matter. He just wants to put in true effort to understand you, like how you do with him.

-Something else you may find surprising is that Gogeta does like to read. Have any books? You could lend one or more to him (don’t worry he’ll take good care of them) and see if they catch his interest. After he potentially finishes them, you could have discussions with him over them. Maybe he’ll have the same opinions as you, maybe not, or maybe you both could have fun ripping into the terrible story or characters.

-In general, your time with Gogeta will primarily be you both enjoying one another’s presence. Unless he feels up to talking, he’s content to merely sit or lie in silence with you. He doesn’t care for small talk, and definitely doesn’t need it to remain keen on sticking around you if you both aren’t doing anything at the moment. Expect most days to be relatively chill.

#my writing #boyfriend scenarios #vegito imagines #gogeta imagines #self shipping community #selfshipping #dragon ball fanfiction #vegito x reader #gogeta x reader #x reader

[angelicyoongie]

Omg he speaks!🤯😳🫣 and that’s now so much more terrifying…. And I love it.

With the first one for me Jungkook was animalistic so it was easier to digest. He’s an animal predator with intelligence of an animal predator that you would expect. He could communicate but it was basic information nothing really complex. To me, he seemed to act more out of impulse rather than a lot of thought and intent. So I could neatly put him in he’s an animal predator box like “this is a highly aggressive grizzly bear it may look cute but it will rip you shreds if you go near it”

But with Seokjin speaking…somehow makes him human but way more dangerous than a human. The fact that he was willing to learn how to speak and can speak in complex sentences, that shows he doesn’t act on impulse(most of the time), there’s a lot of thought and intent into his actions to meet his needs for food, entertainment, and to improve himself. And that’s scary. For me that makes him more terrifying scarier than Jungkook.

Love how much your writing just keeps getting higher and higher quality. I’ll be honest I hardly ever come onto Tumblr anymore (mostly because of busy life stuff) and you are the reason why I honestly come onto Tumblr anymore just to see what you’ve added and to reread the other works that you have written.

I really really love this new story I can’t wait for the second posting! (secretly🫣 I wish it would be longer because I just find Seokjin character to be really intriguing)

💜CRS

I agree! JK felt more similar to an an agitated animal than a human, definitely the type you know you can't look away from unless you want to get hurt/killed. It was much easier to look at him and go "oh, he's just acting this way because it's his instincts and he doesn't know any better", but it's a whole different story with Seokjin!

Seokjin is indefinitely much more scary because he knows exactly what he's doing. Like you said, he's intelligent and calculated, and he understands right from wrong even if he couldn't care less about it. It's terrifying for sure!

AHH omg thank you so much!! 😭💖 That is so sweet, thank you for spending your precious time on me 🥺

The next chapter will hopefully be posted this month! Seokjin's character is a lot of fun to work with so I wouldn't have minded a longer series, but I just don't have time for it right now :( This was honestly just supposed to be a fun little story to give myself a small break from Abundance and Lovesick (it feels good to actually finish a story every now and then, lol ) 🤧 But maybe I'll do a TOP drabble in the future!

#q: top #💜CRS anon

[omends]

after spending some time on kaeys new blog and doing some soul searching I realized that I feel a lot happier and safer on the new blog, and I kind of just. don't want to come back here. the anxiety passed and I leaned into it and, surprisingly, it worked out really well for me so I'm glad for that. I just. don't have the energy to focus on multiple characters or blogs right now, so I'm going to focus on kaey and give him my attention and time, for better or worse. I'm not necessarily abandoning this blog or @feminsin, I'm just putting them on indefinite hiatus until I feel ready to pick up the characters again. very likely I will be making new single muse blogs as I get my groove back, but right now I just. get very overwhelmed on a multi. I apologize to everyone who was interested in interacting with the characters here or on my other blogs. ; ; if you would like my new blog please like / comment on this post or DM me. I might post the promo here eventually, but for now, I am keeping it lowkey. if folks aren't interested in interacting with him / writing with me then nows your chance to cut ties with no hard feelings. I may also follow some folks I'm interested in pursuing interaction with, but mostly I want to ensure the folks who follow me actually want me on their dash and to write with. again, no hard feelings. I really appreciate the patience and support I have been shown. <3 if you have Discord and want to maybe rp over Discord you can add me ! I'm open to writing any and pretty much all of my characters, so we can continue plots and ships if you want ! owo add me: seal snoot ;#5985 (you can also ask for my new blog URL on Discord as well if we already have each other added !) also, if you see some of my blogs deactivate (this blog and feminsin will be spared !) don't panic, I'm just doing some housekeeping. I've already deleted a few, but made sure to block folks so they don't have a ghost blog in their stats. ^^;

#《 ° ooc ; selkie.exe 》 oh im trash just not approved trash #《 ° ooc ; psa 》 a special selkie delivery ! read this pls and thank

[sweeteastylist]

For better or worse, the only thing that stops me from constantly cramming 50% of my wardrobe into each SC entry is the item limit

#Like I would just indefinitely spend time on posts adding as much as I can if there wasn't a limit #love nikki #starry corridor

[azenkii]

 ATLA Fic Rec 

because I've been spending way too much time reading it. Btw, this is a rec for gen fics and zukka fics.

Note: an asterisk after the description means that the fic or series is incomplete. (Sadly, this is a lot of them, but I'm pretty sure most of these fics are still currently updating.)

GEN:

Anything by MuffinLance is a must-read. my personal favourites are Salvage (where Hakoda ends up with one (1) grumpy new prisoner/crewmate/adopted son) and Little Zuko v the World (where Zuko is 12, and it's adorable).

The Family You Choose by TunaFishChris is a god-tier platonic soulmate au about zuko and the gaang, so like...go read that right now

The kintsugi series by discordiansamba is an AU where Toph's parents hire Zuko-as-Lee to be a bodyguard for her, and I love it so much. It has some of the best Toph-and-Zuko sibling bonding I've ever seen. *

Dragon Moon by Satirrian is a Dragon! Zuko AU and it's incredible. It also features Bounty Hunter Zuko, so do with that what you will. *

The What We're Given series by Haicrescendo is *chef's kiss*. It's an AU where Zuko flipped his father off early on into his banishment and started living his best life with Iroh. Enter the Gaang. Shenanigans ensue. *

The Internment series by Hannahmayski is another Zuko breaks free from his dad early AU, and it's also really good. Basically, Zuko was never given the option to capture the Avatar, making his banishment indefinite. He sails around with his crew fighting the Fire Nation and it's great. *

The best way to solve your problems (is to help someone else) by hewwodarkness is an AU where kids start disappearing in Ba Sing Se during Book 2, and Zuko takes it upon himself to do a little vigilantism. It's fantastic. *

The Blue Spirit AU series by H_Faith_Marr is an AU starting from, surprise surprise, the Blue Spirit episode. The Gaang takes in Zuko without knowing who he is, and the Power of Friendship™ goes to work on Zuko. *

The the first rule of earth kingdom fight club... series by ohmygodwhy is an AU where Zuko, among other things, fights in underground cage matches, meets Toph early, and realises that his dad might be wrong. It’s pretty funny and really good. *

The The Non-Existent Twin series by FoiblePNoteworthy is hilarious. It's an AU where Zuko poses as his own twin, Li, and the Gaang buys it hook line and sinker. *

The Guilt (The Jet Adopts Zuko AU) series by FoiblePNoteworthy is also really good. Like the title says, it’s a Zuko joins the Freedom Fighters AU. *

The new ways series by blueseam is just a Zuko and the Gaang bonding fic, mostly set in the Western Air Temple, with a side of Zuko not taking care of himself and the Gaang stepping up to the job. If you’re like me and am an absolute sucker for Zuko and the Gaang, go read this.

The Family Matters series by WinterSky101 is a really good fic if you’re looking for Hakoda and Zuko. That’s all I have to say: Hakoda and Zuko.

a nation, held by snowdarkred is a GREAT Fire Nation & Zuko fic - set before and during canon, not after it. Go read it, right now.

Notable mentions: a lot of works by naggeluide are gen and pretty funny, though if you don't headcanon any of the characters as LGBT+ you might not like some of them.

ZUKKA:

anything by Haicrescendo and dickpuncher420. For Haicrescendo, my personal favourite is the Carry On For You series, and for dickpuncher420, it’s love language.

sirens & sleepless nights by Satirrian is a modern AU that just borders on dystopian. Ba Sing Se has been overtaken by the Fire Nation, Zuko is a soldier who broke away from the Fire Nation and got shot for it, and Sokka finds Zuko on the street and brings him inside. It’s amazing, go read it!

do you take this jerk to be (your one and only) by jatersade is a fic that I’m 90% sure is on every zukka fic rec list, and it deserves to be. It’s an arranged marriage AU where Zuko is engaged to Yue, and Sokka is his cultural guide. *

midnight runs and other things by isamagicdragon is a modern AU where Zuko keeps sleepwalking into Sokka’s apartment. Shenanigans ensue. Also, top-tier Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee interactions. *

Unchained Melody by avocadolove is another fic that I see a lot on rec lists, and it 100% deserves it. It’s a long fic (as of now, it’s at 63.8k) and is an AU where Sokka, after getting taken to the Spirit World by Heibai, ends up as a ghost that only Zuko can see. Ft. great enemies-to-friends-to-lovers and an incredible plot. *

Ozymandias, King of Kings by Think_of_a_Wonderful_Thought is SO good. It’s an AU where, instead of being banished, Zuko was sent to work in a coal mine/prison, which eventually becomes the target of a Water Tribe raid after Aang’s return. It can get pretty dark, so watch out for that, and it’s really long (as of now, 168.8k). But trust me, it’s worth it. *

Heart Beat Here by thefangirlingdead is an adorable Modern AU oneshot where Zuko, while shopping for engagement rings with Katara, freaks out when Sokka lies about where he is. It’s a happy ending, don’t worry. One of my favourite fics.

feels like we only go backwards by oldpotatoe and A Certain Slant of Light by JustGettingBy are both amnesia fics where Sokka loses his memory several years after the war. They’re both so, so good. A Certain Slant of Light is finished, but feels like we only go backwards is not.

reality strikes, so bring back the night by zukkababey is a time-travel oneshot where Western-Air-Temple Sokka wakes up in the future to find his older self married to one (1) Fire Lord Zuko. Fluffy and funny. 

maybe i just see you (in everything) by epicbubbles is a really cute Modern AU oneshot with love confessions and just fluff all around. 10/10 go read it!!

it’s the illusion of separation by argentoswan is a fic that has legendary status and it absolutely deserves it. God-tier Modern AU where Sokka ends up working at the Jasmine Dragon alongside his former high school bully, Zuko. (Kind of) enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, and it’s just...SO good. *

say you like your shirt soggy by crosspin is a reallyyy nice 5+1 fic. It’s Modern AU, and it’s pretty short (3.7k), but the amount of yearning that gets packed into that 3.7k,,,,*chef’s kiss*

and they were roommates by flydunes is another Modern AU where sokka puts up an ad for a roommate. Zuko moves in, and Sokka gets a crush. It’s just good vibes all around :) *

like blood from a stone by catalinacat is a Soulmate AU that took a completely different direction with the soulmate trope. The summary does a better job of explaining it than I can. *

absence of heat, excess of destiny by theycallmesuperboy is one of the best soulmate AUs out there. it’s not too long, only 4.3k words, but it covers the entire series and then some. Seriously, go read this.

it isn’t strange, but it’s true by theholyterror is a 5+1 post-canon fic with some of the best pining I’ve ever seen, ft. Ambassador Sokka and Fire Lord Zuko. The 5+1 is times Zuko went out of his way to touch Sokka.  *

like the sun inside of you by ofherlionheart is another post-canon fic, and it’s incredible so far. the first chapter alone is 23k, so it’s already a decently long read. *

the stemverse: earth science zuko au series by acezukos is a REALLY good Modern/University AU. So far, it only has one work (earth system history) but that work is already *chef’s kiss*. The series is incomplete, but earth system history is complete!

rebellion’s such a hushed affair by zeitgeistofnow is a fantastic Modern AU that, like sirens & sleepless nights, borders on dystopian. Actually, I think it is dystopian, but it hasn’t been tagged as such. Anyway, 10/10, go read it right now immediately

Mark Time by foil is a Modern AU where Sokka ghosted Zuko years ago, and they get brought back together by Aang and Katara’s wedding. It’s really good, but the fic has some pretty heavy content, so make sure you read the warnings. *

That birds would sing and think it were not night by HisMomoness is a Modern AU that has Zuko tutoring Sokka, with absolute top-tier pining. Like, seriously, the pining is insane. Superr good

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by meliebee is one of the best post-canon fics I’ve ever read. It features a civil war in the Fire Nation (that gets resolved about halfway through) and some great Toph and Zuko interactions, as well as some Grade A pining. 

boy problems by burnt_oranges is FANTASTIC post-canon and has sokka and zuko in an accidental arranged marriage, plus some attempted assassinations. It’s great.

zuko vs the homie sexual agenda by parmigiano has Zuko and Sokka pining for each other in Ikea. Do I need to say more?

Friendship Bracelets by peachcitt is a Modern AU best friends to lovers. Pretty short (4.9k), but the pining is immaculate.

isn’t this the vision that you wanted by nebulastucky is INCREDIBLE, I read it recently because it just got completed and it’s *chef’s kiss*. It’s post-canon ft. mutual pining and some reallyyy good ‘and there was only one bed’ scenes.

Real Slow and no one knows anything but us by surveycorpsjean and quidhitch respectively are two of my favourite post-canon Ambassador Sokka and Fire Lord Zuko fics. Go check them out!

The Duke’s a Hazard by naggeluide is a really nice AU starting from the Western Air Temple, where the Duke decides that Sokka and Zuko are now his new parents. They bond over coparenting, and the (kind of) enemies-to-friends-to-lovers is really good. Plus, it’s funny.

Those Who Favor Fire by CSHfic and VSfic is a really good fic of the Spymaster Sokka AU. If you don’t know what that is, it’s an AU where Sokka fakes his death and goes undercover in an organisation that wants to kill Zuko.

Fics I added after posting (so far, all Zukka):

The Road Between Action and Inaction by Donvex is a fic that I can't believe I left out the first time?? It's a modern hitchhiking AU and it's great.

Rituals of the Ocean Floor by Donvex is a nice one too. It's only around 2.2k words, but it's a Fox Spirit!Zuko and Sharkman!Sokka AU, and I just really like the writing style.

by the stars above, i knew we were in love by theycallmesuperboy and The Fate of Nations in Our Hands by sapphic_ambitions are both top-tier post-canon fics. Be warned: by the stars above is a liiiittle bit angsty.

blue's clues by parmigiano is a really good Modern AU where Sokka, a university student journalist, gets ahold of the phone number of the Blue Spirit, a new campus vigilante. He ends up talking to the Blue Spirit to get an interview out of him, and it's really cute!

Honourable mention: the Avatar Zuko series by the_cloud_whisperer is one of the best series I've ever read, and it's really long - it got completed about a month ago, with 493.6k words in total (415k if you ignore the extra work made up of author's notes). It develops all the characters really well, especially Lu Ten, but the main ship is Zukaang. Personally, my biggest problem with Zukaang is the age difference, and Aang is aged up to be Zuko's age (or older, I think? I don't really remember) in this. I kept reading it because the plot was too good to give up, and I do highly recommend it, but yeah.

I’ll add more fics if I remember them, but this is what I had bookmarked. Also, shameless self plug here because I also write ATLA fic @ azenki on ao3

#atla #zukka #fic rec #zukka fic rec

[twilitty]

Moonlit ch.1

This is the first chapter in my new fic Moonlit, it will be posted on Tumblr, ao3, and ffnet. New chapters uploaded every week and a half. Message/comment to be added to my tag list.

3k words

big thank you to my beta reader @effervescentlyirrevocable who has given me the absolute best criticism and helped make this chapter so beautiful :)

Bella moves to Forks Washington, her first week is uneventful. This fic has aged up characters, making them all at entry-college level ages.

Chapter One

My senses are sharper in Forks than they were in Phoenix, I’ve only been here a handful of days yet everything seemed brighter, louder, more alive than my past home. There was something here for me, something that made me feel more alert than I have in years.

The sound of heavy rain slowly pulls me out of my restless sleep, an elbow is thrown across my eyes in an attempt to keep the real world at bay. It’s always raining, the mist layering the ground never abandons its post, and the chilly air seemingly lasts indefinitely. The rainy town of Forks Washington sooner resembles my personal hell than it does a sleepy old town. The forest that borders the town at each cardinal point is layered in green moss, damp dirt, and an endless supply of fresh animal tracks. I’d moved to Forks only a week ago, the sum of which was spent unpacking dreadfully thin clothing and acquainting myself with the few stores and public access areas the town has to offer.

My father, Charlie, has had little to do with this process apart from moral support and the occasional bag of fast food that he’s picked up while on shift. Charlie is the town's police chief, a job that both seems ill-needed and also unbearably boring. How much crime can be committed in a town of fewer than ten thousand citizens? Other than the odd tag on a school building or bush party, what does his shift consist of? I have yet to bring my insulting opinions on his career to his attention, and likely will never do so. He’s a good man with a heart of gold and a passion for the judicial system, which is ever-present in his TV browsing as he cruises through endless episodes of Law & Order.

I’m not a big TV person, even back home in Phoenix, I preferred reading to the television. Perhaps this was related to my mother’s endless stack of yoga DVD’s that seemed to consume our viewing; her in a downward dog position gossiping about her latest advancements at her newest club membership, me sitting on the couch finishing a craft for her so she won’t be late submitting it. My favourite of her crafts was embroidery, one month I embroidered nearly two hundred dandelions on a pair of jeans for her. She gave them to the club administrator as an apology before she quit.

Regardless, at night when the TV is blaring the intro theme to a cop show, I am curled in bed with a book under my nose and headphones in my ears. Blocking out the rain is a full-time chore.

This morning is a particularly eventful morning, not because of any specific events, but rather the events that will be set into motion because of this morning. Today is the first day of my online college courses. I’m currently enrolled in an undeclared major. My hope is that the three courses I’m taking this spring term will help me decide on what I want to do in the future.

Charlie had given me a new laptop upon my arrival in Forks, a current model with modest upgrades to “enhance my academic experience”. Or at least that’s what the box boasted. I am not entirely convinced that a larger memory will miraculously cure me of my educational despise. High school was tortuous, I had few friends and fewer interests outside of my mother’s hobbies. I had no extra-curricular activities that were not synonymous with financial responsibilities. The monthly budget book was mine to care for, as was the constant, intrusive phone calls of the bank when my mother got too engaged in a store. She’s a gullible woman if nothing else. If a store clerk tells her a blouse suits her figure, she’ll purchase ten colours in the article along with two in a size lower just in case she finally loses the ten pounds she’s been trying to shed.

My eyes have barely opened, the down of my forearm just a fraction away from my pupil when Charlie pounds against my door. You’d imagine I was fostering a fugitive in here with the noise he’s making, but this is just the way my father is, loud noises and soft voices. I wonder, idly, if perhaps he has minor hearing loss from spending so much time around guns.

“I’m up!” I call out, my voice is thin and calloused with morning sleep. I clear my throat as the knocking cuts off, “Good morning, Dad.” Charlie doesn’t like me calling him Charlie.

“Morning, Bells,” he calls back through the door, quiet enough to not be taken as aggressive yet loud enough to sound authoritative. He is a father, my father, at heart. He pauses, and it’s as if I can hear the mental gears shifting in his mind. He hasn’t had to be a father since I was a baby, after that Renee was the parent. Charlie was the summer distraction. “Don’t be late for school.” I grunt a response, reaching for the alarm clock on my nightstand and groaning at the early hour of the morning. Barely eight, class doesn’t officially start until noon. I guess there’s nothing wrong with logging in early, although I’d much rather catch up on the sleep I’ve lost to the thunderous storms we’ve been experiencing recently.

As if he could sense my intentions, Charlie knocks against my door again. “Bella, I mean it. You didn’t come here to slack off, now.” No, I think nastily, I came here for peace and quiet.

Between unpacking my belongings and touring the town, I’ve developed a routine in my new living situation. Charlie is fond of my company, enjoying having a woman in the house outside of his ex-wife, my mother and ex-roommate. Although, his fondness of my presence does not directly translate to time spent together. He makes me breakfast, occasionally placing it in the oven to keep warm, and then immediately heads off to his family that is the Forks police station. We meet again for lunch, depending on our individual plans for the day, and then reunite again just in time for dinner. Food really is the great American pastime.

I dress in jeans and a light blue sweater that smells mysteriously of mildew although it’s a recent purchase and has yet to be worn outdoors. I suppose the rain permeates every available space, closed windows be damned. My socks are tall and I have to roll my jeans up at the bottoms to accommodate for the thick, high fabric of them. It’s a trick Charlie taught me for wearing rain boots, the higher the socks the less likely they are to run down to your toes as you walk. Immediately after that trick was taught I went to the nearest hiking store and purchased a pair of rain boots. My first pair of rain boots at nineteen years of age. Unfathomable yet ironic considering my lineage marks back to the wettest town in the continental US. My ancestors roll in their graves every time I step outdoors and forget a jacket or umbrella, I’m sure of it.

Charlie is waiting for me downstairs, both a surprise and unwelcome presence. I had a battered copy of Dorian Gray under my arm, I was expecting philosophy and moral ambiguity, not idle conversation. Before the chief notices my book, I slide it over the back of the couch and enter the kitchen with a polite smile. There’s bacon frying on the stovetop, the police chief is dressed in uniform already, but has a stained white apron tied around his neck. “Dad?”

“Oh,” he turns around and gives me a tight smile, “Excited for your big day?” You’d imagine it’s my first day of preschool with the amount of enthusiasm he’s trying to keep hidden from me, not my first day of online school. I don’t say anything to dampen his mood, I’m glad he’s excited about something. His life is repetitive, if my existence here proves to be no more useful than just disrupting his schedule, it will still be a success.

“Yeah, I guess.” He turns back to the bacon and shifts it around quickly, the grease snapping up at him. If it burns him he doesn’t show it, just maintains the stiff-backed posture of a respectable police officer cooking his daughter breakfast. “I’ve gotta ask, what’s up with the apron?” I stifle a giggle behind a bite of the toast that’s sitting in the middle of the small table. He shakes his head in faux annoyance.

Charlie takes the pan off the hot element, sliding the bacon onto two plates and pouring the grease into an open can. The second trick he taught me since arriving here: never pour grease down the drain.

“I’m in uniform, it would be disrespectful to the badge to stain it.” He slides a plate of bacon in front of me, sitting down in his designated seat across the table. “Besides,” he takes a sip of coffee from his to-go mug. “Can you imagine walking into a police station smelling of fried pig?”

Breakfast ends quickly. We each eat a piece of toast, Charlie stuffing a second piece into a plastic bag “for later” and heading out the door. I still have half a plate of bacon in front of me after he leaves, the maple glaze filling the small kitchen with its smell.

After my Mom and Charlie got married, Renee redecorated much of the house. Her lace curtains still hang in the master bedroom window, constantly drawn closed. The rest of the house has been minorly updated with age, the TV got bigger, the couch more comfortable, new bed linens and even newer rocking chairs on the porch. I had asked Charlie if they were Moms when I first came up to the house a week ago.

They were rocking gently in the wind, the wood seemed to be polished as it shined in what little light filtered through the depressive clouds. They were sitting side by side, matching pillows on them both, a coffee table in the middle with a stack of coasters. It was an old person's porch, where husband and wife would sit all grey and wrinkled, waving at the neighbourhood kids as the bus dropped them off from school. I could almost picture Charlie and Renee sitting there, her knitting a scarf and him content to just watch her and the scenery.

He informed me that they were relatively new, a purchase from a shop down on the Reservation. We haven’t spoken about them since, but I wonder if perhaps he wishes he had someone to sit out there with him.

I spend the morning before class doing odd chores around the house. It’s nice living at Charlie’s, nicer than I had expected it to be. I’m not a fan of the weather or the fact that I currently have no social life, but it’s nice to just sit. I throw my laundry in the wash and manage to get the kitchen cleaned up with just enough time left over to sit on the couch and read a chapter of my book before class.

School has never been my strong suit. That’s not to say I get poor marks or intentionally skip classes, I just never found it as fulfilling as my peers seemed to. I never woke up and looked forward to the social or academic aspect of high school. Perhaps this contributed to me postponing my college experience and only starting it now when I should already be a year into my program.

When I log into my schools online database and click on my first class, Social Psychology 1001, I’m immediately transported to a screen filled with windows and the faces of my classmates. “Hello, class!” The professor's voice calls out over my computer. Perhaps online school won’t be my strong suit either.

Class ends and the next one starts, and I get through all three classes and an hour's worth of homework by the time Charlie pops in for dinner.

“Hey, Bells,” He calls as he opens the front door. I can hear him from where I sit in the kitchen, hanging his gun belt up by the front door and kicking his boots off into a heap on the floor. I imagine Mom back in Phoenix, walking into the house with arms full of bags and tossing her flip flops onto her pile of shoes beside the coatrack she used for purses. Some things won’t ever change.

“How was work?” I ask. He pauses to poke his head into the kitchen, moustache moving as he chews on his lip. I can’t remember when Charlie initially grew out his moustache, just that one summer I arrived and thought could he look more like a cop?

“Good, good, just some meetings. New family moving into town, all foster kids around your age.” He takes pause, staring off into some middle ground in the hallway as if deep in thought. His eyebrows furrow, “Don’t want any trouble makers coming in, but the father seems nice. Respectable.”

“That’s nice,” I contribute conversationally. Charlie and I rarely have material conversations, always just idle talk of the weather or what's for dinner. I’m not entirely sure how to approach this topic, which clearly seems to be occupying his mind.

“Yeah, he’s a doctor.” He grins at this, toothy and a little crooked to the right side. A pang of embarrassment settles in my chest before he speaks, as if knowing where this will turn. “Perfect for you, considering how often your clumsiness-” I wave a hand over my face, grimacing at his words. “Don’t speak it into existence,” I mutter with a half-hearted plea underlying my words. He chuckles, disappearing up the stairs.

I hear the shower turn on after a few minutes of him fumbling around, presumably trying to get undressed. I’m sure once he’s showered and in sweatpants it’ll be twenty questions about my day of school. I’m not sure I have the heart to break the truth to him: it absolutely sucked.

The material was interesting enough, psychology has always been close to my heart. I loved the idea of people being more than their actions and thoughts, that there was something making them say that or something making them act that way. Perhaps this was yet another symptom of having Renee for a mother.

I sit at the kitchen table for a moment longer, my computer is closed in front of me and my pencil case- dreadfully unnecessary with school being online-sits closed and untouched. I haven’t made any friends in my classes, not that I had expected to. Twelve years of public school and no friend group to show for it, just a few texts every couple of weeks. Why would I have believed college, and an online college at that, would be any better?

Having enough with my thoughts, I get up from the table and pack my things into my bag. I’ve completed enough work for today, the rest of the evening I’ll spend either with Charlie or in my room. I’d rather not be nose deep in pdf textbooks and youtube videos constituting as follow-up lectures, I’ve had enough of that today. As if sensing the immediacy of my departure from the kitchen, the shower cuts off and I hear the bathroom door squeak open. For a man who, until recently, lived alone with too much free time, you’d imagine he’d have taken better care of the house. Nearly every door, except my own, creaks open and closed. I made sure to oil my hinges nearly immediately after moving in, I didn’t want Charlie to wake up every time I sneak downstairs for a comfort snack or warm glass of milk to help me sleep. He’s lived alone for nearly twenty years, he doesn’t need his sleep schedule disrupted now.

“The game is on in-” Charlie pauses as if double-checking the times mentally, “- an hour and a half. Are you interested?” He’s calling from up the stairs. I wonder if he truly wants me to watch the game with him, whatever sport it may be, or if he’s only being polite.

“Uh, I was just going to organize my room right now and then maybe make something for dinner,” I say in response. The floors don’t make a noise and I know he’s heard me, but he doesn’t respond. A lump forms in my throat, perhaps he really did want to watch with me.

“That’s fine, but if you want we can order in?” The lump passes and I convince myself that there is no reason to avoid the TV. It’s not like I’ll be a disruption, if I get bored I can read on the couch. I’ve only watched TV with Charlie on a few occasions since my move here, and each time I strategically saved my questions for the commercial breaks.

“Sure! That works.” The floorboards creak and I hear him retreat into his room, the door closing with a pitiful squeak.

We eat pizza on the couch, a large meat-lover for the carnivorous father and a small vegetarian with extra mushrooms for the daughter who cares about her cardiovascular health. We eat slowly, occasionally Charlie will make a face at the television or mumble something under his breath, but other than that we’re quiet. The sport turns out to be baseball and I recall a few of the basic rules from the tragic gym classes of my past. It’s not disastrous in any way, and surprisingly I don’t get bored. There is something relaxing about the repetitive nature of the game.

After the game ends we box up the remaining slices and put them in the fridge to be eaten tomorrow, say good night, and go our separate ways at the top of the stairs.

taglist:

@musingsofvenus @maybesandohnos

#twilight #edward cullen #bella swan #jasper #the twilight saga #carlisle #twilight saga #smeyer #2008 #twilight renaissance #bella/jacob #jacob/bella #jacobxbella #bellaxjacob #fanfic #fanfiction #twilight fanfic #mine

[rfadaydreaming]

GRRR zen smut hcs pls 🥵 lemme know EVERYTHING

nsfw zen headcanons

ask and you shall recieve! uhh this is kind of long. can you tell i’ve been sitting on these for awhile... oops. nsfw under the cut ↓

zen has a bit of an obsession of taking nudes. if you thought his selfie addiction was bad, just you wait. he has a lot of them hidden away in his camera roll. in a locked folder, of course. hopefully seven never hacks in to take a peek, theres a lot going on in there.

be prepared for him sending a lot of suggestive photos when he enters a relationship with you. they’re not always explicit, he likes to tease you. especially if you’re out in public. dickprint in grey sweatpants kinda thing sometimes, lifting up his shirt to show off his v line and obviously straining jeans. a lot of suggestive pics with innuendos.

example

“post workout. wanna shower with me when i get home jagiya? ;)”

he has the best lighting and angles whenever he sends them, wont just grab it and whip it out with the flash on. no. he’s classy. makes them look like absolute art and leaves you wanting more. videos too, these are always explicit. he’ll send videos of him moaning your name while he finishes himself off. this is dangerous just because it has his voice in it, it could be tied back to him indefinitely. so he really trusts you here.

ever the flirt, even in public. his flirting can turn into something further if you let it. if you two are at dinner a wandering hand may start to find its way up your leg, has pulled you aside at rfa parties for some 7 minutes in heaven kind of fun. this man has no shame.

into the thrill of semi public sex. he’s impatient when it comes to you, especially when he sees you in certain outfits or you do a little mannerism that just drives him nuts. while the excitement and buzz is still lingering after a show finishes, he just cant help himself. never too public– he’s not trying to ruin his career– but bathrooms, closets, maybe even cars in the parking lot if he really can’t wait. quickies before he goes on stage carries such a certain thrill to it. especially if his co-stars are looking for him. having to stay silent and hoping they don’t knock or open the door. if someone walks by he’ll try his best to make you whine or moan. drives you nuts.

doesn’t indulge in this too often just because of how detrimental it could be to his career if you both are actually caught. but the thrill is like no other.

he’s not into super into heavy kinks, like bdsm and such. you can get him to degrade you as long as you assure him it doesn’t hurt your feelings, its a turn on. if your WAP doesn’t already convince him enough but is always sure to let you know he doesn’t actually mean it and spoils you with love during aftercare.

dirty talker. filthy talker. has no restraint.

when he dirty talks its still always laced with the same old honeyed tone you’re used to. his voice drops deeper and is downright erotic. can makes your knees weak from lewd words alone. lets his mouth run especially when you blow him, ever so chatty when he’s the one being spoiled.

“a pretty little angel choking on a pretty big cock. oh how it suits you, don’t you think so jagiya? not such an angel anymore.”

he’ll grab your chin and bring your eyes further up towards the phone camera while he speaks, taking a picture then showing it back to you while you’re still busy between his legs. agree with him when he asks you something like that. he likes it.

spanking is the most he’ll go physically, a bit of degradation, tugs and pulls here and there that sting in the best way—especially directed towards your chest. he can be rough at times, but never wants to outright hurt you. not into choking, slapping. not his cup of tea.

always rougher with some alcohol added to his system. much harder to contain the beast that way.

teeth mashing, love bites, rough hands. less restrained than normal. wild and frantic, like you’re the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted and he’s the hungriest man alive.

can’t even be called love making at that point, its just fucking.

he can hold out for a decent amount of time, thinking of that furball always helps pull him back a little. but if he cums before you it feels like a failure for him. weird mental block. he will absolutely do his very best make up for it, its rare when he does finish first but if does... you’re in for a long night ahead. especially if you do something to bring him over the edge, even when he warned you first.

he’s not partial to giving or receiving, likes both pretty equally. anything you give to him, he will always return the favor. he adores spending time in between your thighs more than anything else– can’t deny that you’re quite the pretty sight on your knees for him like that. blowjobs are always nice, no complaints there. he absolutely loves seeing him in your mouth, drooling over him like that. guilty little pride boost when you can’t fit him all in or you gag on him.

he can go to town on you. for a long time. and he’s very good at what he does. he’s an actor and singer, his art is practically his mouth. you best believe he takes your pleasure seriously. won’t let you go until your legs are shaking and you’re seeing white. his favorite thing about the entire experience is when your breathing starts to speed up, you squeeze your thighs tight around his head and grab his hair— the energy of the build up that happens, the adrenaline of knowing whats coming next. whos coming next. his heart rate increases and he gets butterflies deep within the heat of his stomach. he can get off on seeing you cum alone. would love to live between your thighs if you’d let him.

whenever you blow him off, he’s extremely vocal. zens a big moaner, especially when you use your mouth on him. loves to cum on your face, as long as that’s okay with you. if you open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out, finishing him off with your hand while you gaze up at him with lidded eyes. he finishes hard whenever you do that. tries his best not to get it in your hair if he can help it. still a gentleman ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ♡

he can never get enough of seeing you absolutely wrecked. flushed, drooling, hot and completely drenched in more ways than one. determined to get you squirming from his fingers and mouth alone, as long as theres time, he can drag out sessions for quite a time. if you’re coherent afterwards then he feels he’s not doing something right.

really loves to overstim you, but turns into a big baby whenever you do it back to him. not a whiner, but certainly is if you keep using your tongue on him or riding him after he’s already came. you’ll have him squirming and begging if you keep going after he’s finished. insanely sensitive.

he deeply loves when you take the reins and go on top. gets a perfect view of... well, everything. to see you work yourself up and down his length, face twisted in pleasure and desire while you use him to get you where you please. its a big turn on for him.

mirrors in the bedroom. he has a thing for watching himself fucking you and seeing you being fucked. favorite is doggy style with you facing the mirror so he can see your face lost in desire perfectly. the desire he’s giving you. loves watching himself too tbh

if you grab his hair he will moan. moan. he absolutely loves when you grab his hair, especially while he’s going down on you. he has a sensitive scalp so it never fails to send a shiver down his spine. will groan so deeply into you, its a win-win for both parties.

he has wet dreams often. even in his sleep he can’t escape you. once you and him move in together they only seem to increase–so impromptu 3am sex is quite common with him around.

body worship. not just for him, but you as well. kisses you head to toe in the most passionate way a person possibly could with another. down on his knees as he does it, praises spilling from his lips as he practically prays to you.

for him, he just adores it when you shower him in over the top praises and affections. worship him. kiss him up and down and let yourself get lost in it, leave marks and scratches– marking his perfect form as yours.

leave your love bites or scratches in places people can see, out on display. deep inside he knows he should be ashamed being so brazen about them, but theres something intimately gratifying about having the world know he belongs to you, and only you. it gets him hot and bothered especially if he’s not able to cover them before he goes up on stage.

ruin his godly appearance. wreck him, leave him breathless, flushed, completely and utterly satisfied. mess up his hair, make him sweat–make him beg. seeing stars and going again and again until he can’t even speak correctly anymore. everytime he thinks he cant possibly be anymore in love with you, you get him like this and he realizes how wrong he truly was. he’s a mess, only for you.

#um this is my first time writing something like this in awhile hopefully its okay 👁👁 #mystic messenger #mysme #mm #mysme zen #mm zen #zen mysme #zen mm #zen mystic messenger #hyun mysme #hyun ryu mysme #hyun ryu mystic messenger #zen hyun ryu #zen headcanons #n/sfw #18+ #zen n/sfw

[bethpeaches123]

Everlark #46

Okay, this took much longer than I’d hoped, but that’s because every time I thought I was finished, something new popped into my head and I had to include it, so it’s also much longer than I’d anticipated. But, here it is, @mandelion82! I hope you enjoy! I’m thinking of continuing it too, so stay tuned! Also going to post it on AO3. :)

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Everlark 46: nanny/single parent au

The Nanny/Babysitter/Minder

When Katniss Everdeen placed an ad looking for a nanny to care for her five-year-old daughter Cassie, the gorgeous blond, blue-eyed specimen of a man standing on her front porch was not exactly what she had in mind.

“Can I…help you? Sir?” she asked, trying to wipe the puzzled expression off her face when she opened the door.

He smiled, his hands shoved in the front pockets of his dark wash jeans, looking slightly puzzled himself. “I’m Peeta. Peeta Mellark? I emailed you about the nanny position for your daughter? We agreed I’d come over to meet her at one o’clock today?” he replied. His eyes flickered to the side at the sound of a car horn behind him on the busy street, then flicked back to Katniss while he waited for her response.

Flustered that Peeta was apparently a man’s name and not an old woman’s like she’d assumed, (Why had she assumed that? What could have it been short for? Petunia? Come on, Katniss) she hesitated and then said, “oh, yes, of course. Um, please, come in,” stepping aside to let the subtly muscular man walk past her and into the hallway.

Hesitating again, she decided to throw caution to the wind and continue with the appointment with this man, Peeta. She hadn’t received any other responses to the ad she’d placed two weeks prior, and she was getting desperate. Her surgery schedule had changed at the hospital, thanks to crotchety Chief Abernathy who didn’t care about her childcare woes, and she needed to find someone to pick Cassie up from school until her current shift rotation changed again in a few months’ time. If it changed. Knowing Abernathy, he’d keep her on this schedule indefinitely.

“Cassie? Can you come out please sweetheart, there’s someone I’d like you to meet,” she called down the hall.

She motioned for Peeta to proceed into the living room as a tiny pixie of a girl came bounding down the hall and into the room, her dark brown hair in two messy braids down her back. “Mama, I was playing,” she whined, but stopped and stared, wide-eyed at the blond man standing in front of her. “Who are you?” she asked, curiously.

“Cassie honey, I told you we’d be meeting your new nann-err…your….baby-um…your…minder…today. Remember?” hastily fumbling over what to call Peeta. “This is Mr. Mel-um, Peeta.”

“Hi Mr. Peeta,” Cassie whispered, peering up at him shyly as her little mouth curling into a smile.

Peeta knelt down in front of Cassie and held out his hand. “Hello Miss Cassie, it’s very nice to meet you. You can call me just Peeta, though, if you’d like,” he replied, gently smiling at the girl. “I’m looking forward to getting to know you better, I hope.”

“Cassie, why don’t you tell Peeta about school? Cassie just started grade one. Peeta, can I get you something to drink?” asked Katniss, starting towards the kitchen. She needed to put some distance between herself and this gorgeous man. Needed to catch her breath and steady herself – it had been a while since she’d been around anyone who made her feel so flustered. She was usually so calm and cool-headed; she needed to be, being an orthopedic surgeon and all. When Peeta didn’t reply right away, she turned to face him and found him staring straight at her.

“I’m fine, thank you,” he replied, his eyes warm as he looked at her for a beat longer than normal, before turning his focus back to her mini-me sitting before him on the floor. She could feel the heat from his brief gaze go straight to her core. She shivered and spun on her heel, swiftly walking to the kitchen. What was that? As she poured herself a glass of water, she gave herself a mental shake before gulping it down and returning to the living room to sit and observe.

As Katniss watched the two interact on the floor, her initial hesitations began to melt away. Peeta was patient, attentive and gentle with her sweet girl, listening to her talk about her dolls, how much she wanted a cat (Katniss refused - she and felines did not get along) and how nice her kindergarten teacher Mr. Cinna was. Peeta asked her questions about her favourite colour (purple, but also green, like Mama) what she wanted to be when she grew up (a veterinarian) and her favourite flavour ice cream (Rocky Road).

After 45 minutes had passed and the two seemed thick as thieves, Katniss’s worries were gone. Her desperation to find someone to look after Cassie while she was at work had melted away as she watched Cassie, normally a shy, reserved little girl, open up and giggle at the gentle man who made silly faces and showed her pictures of his cat, Cupcake (she could’ve scolded him for that - she didn’t need Cassie getting any more ideas about wanting a cat.) Occasionally, she’d laugh softly at something one of them would say, and she’d catch Peeta’s eye when he’d glance at her and smile warmly, his dimples dusting his cheeks.

With her ex Gale no longer in the picture, and her mother and sister living two states away, she didn’t have any family support. Peeta seemed to be the answer to her prayers, judging from how quickly he and her daughter got along. Plus…he wasn’t hard on the eyes. Stop lusting after the hired help, Katniss. Get it together.

After some more time had passed, Katniss looked at her watch and said, “Well, I think we’ve taken up enough of Peeta’s time, Cassie, and you have to get ready to head out to your singing lesson too,” said Katniss, standing up and motioning to her daughter to go to her room and get ready. “Why don’t you brush your teeth, use the bathroom and get your sheet music from your bedroom while I talk to Peeta?”

“But I don’t haveta use the bathroom, Mama,” Cassie grumbled. She didn’t make any moves to get up from her spot on the floor next to Peeta, who smartly stayed silent as he watched the mother and daughter talk.

“You will as soon as we get in the car and by then it’ll be too late. Go, please, missy,” replied her mother, sternly.

Peeta stood up from where he’d been sitting crossed legged on the floor with Cassie and dipping into a deep bow, offered her his hand to pull her up. “May I be of service to the young lady and help her up?” His eyes twinkled as she giggled again and placed her little hand in his, letting him easily pull her to her feet. “Will I see you again, Mr. Peeta?” she asked shyly, glancing at her mother before turning back to him.

“I would like that, Miss Cassie. How about I chat with your mama while you get ready? It’s a good idea to listen to her - she knows best,” he replied gently.

Cassie huffed, but turned and bounded out of the room, the chorus of “Let It Go” echoing down the hall as she went.

Peeta chuckled and shook his head amusedly, shoving his hands in his front pockets, adopting his stance from earlier. He turned his gaze to Katniss once again, his piercing blue eyes warm and kind. Before she could speak, Peeta beat her to it.

“She seems like a wonderful little girl, Mrs. Everdeen. I’d be happy to look after her for you when needed,” he said. “I can provide a list of references and my child CPR certification if you’d like. I mean, if you’d like me to...if you’d like t-to hire me?” He stuttered, watching her face spread into a wide, amused smile.

“It’s Dr. Everdeen, actually. Ms. Dr. Everdeen, really. I’m not married. Ever. Haven’t ever been married. I mean, not that that matters, I’m jus-I mean Cassie’s father and I weren’t married, we were just together, but he’s not around anymore, he-” what was wrong with her? She was a top-notch surgeon; a strong, independent woman, raising a child on her own. Why was she so tongue-tied around this man? She took a deep breath and said, “Katniss is fine. And your references and other files would be great. Could you email them to me please?”

Amused by her stuttered response that mirrored his own, Peeta replied, “Okay. Katniss it is, and yes, I’ll send them over today.” He seemed relieved that she was as nervous as he was.

After they discussed hours and rate of pay, the one questions that had been nagging in the back of her mind finally couldn’t be left unasked. “Why do you want this job?” She blurted.

Mortified, she continued before he could even open his mouth. “Sorry, it’s just...when I placed the ad, I expected to find an old, grandmother-type woman. Not a young, handsome guy. I mean-I just...I haven’t come across a lot of male...nannies,” she trailed off, embarrassed by her word choice. Did I just call him handsome? To his face? Oh god, I wish I could bury MY face in my hands right about now.

Peeta shifted somewhat uncomfortably from one foot to the other before replying. “That’s a fair question, I guess. I work in my family’s bakery in the mornings, but my day is finished by noon. I wanted something to fill the rest of my days and I love kids – I have a niece and nephew who are just the greatest, I love spending time with little people that age, they’re so inquisitive and honest. I’ve actually thought about going back to school to become a teacher – I mean, I haven’t ruled it out yet, I’m only twenty-six, that’s not too old. Plus, I thought about how much of a struggle it must be sometimes to be a single parent and if I have the ability and capacity to help someone out, well, then I want to do that.” He realized he was rambling a bit and flushed with embarrassment. “Is that weird? I just thought I’d combine helping people and kids and...well, here I am. Here we are.”

“Here we are indeed,” mused Katniss, staring at him wonderingly. “That seems like as good a reason as any, I suppose.” She started to turn away but stopped and looked at him once again. “And I do appreciate the help, by the way…can you start Monday?” Her lips curved into a small smile, Peeta beamed back at her, this time his dimples on full display.

“Great! Yes, Monday’s great. Okay. Good. I think this will be...great. I’ve said great a lot. I’ll stop,” said Peeta sheepishly, running his hand through his messy blond curls. His face flushed bright red again, a shade Katniss found endearing.

Before she could respond again, Cassie came bounding down the hallway, her teeth clean and music bag in tow. “I’m ready, Mama! Mr. Peeta, so will I see you again?” She asked hopefully, peering up at her new friend once again.

Peeta glanced at Katniss, who smiled and nodded, before replying to Cassie. “You will! I’ll be there to pick you up from school on Monday. I have a very serious question for you though, Miss Cassie. Are you ready to hear it?” Her brow furrowed as she nodded slowly. “Do you like to have fun?” She little face broke out into a grin as she nodded again, more enthusiastically this time. “Well good,” he continued. “Because we’re going to have lots of it.”

Hearing her child break out into giggles again melted her heart and stirred something inside her. Looking at Peeta, she met his intense gaze with one of her own, grateful for this kind man to care for the more important person in her life.

“Well, it’s time to go, sweetheart. Peeta, thank you so much again. We’ll be chatting before Monday to go over the rest of the particulars,” said Katniss, ushering Cassie out the front door and turning to Peeta once again. As he moved past her to go through the front door, his hand lightly pressed against the small of her back to step around her, and Katniss felt the heat of his touch through her coat. It spread from her back throughout her body, right down to her toes. She froze as he passed through the door and hopped down the steps, turning back to look at her and flashed his dimples once again. Oh my. This is going to be interesting…

“I’ll speak to you very soon, Katniss. Cassie, I’ll see you Monday afternoon!” he called, cheerfully as he waved and headed to his car.

“I like Mr. Peeta, Mama. He’s nice. And he has a cat!! Do you think he can bring Cupcake over to play with me sometime?” Cassie babbled as Katniss strapped her into her seat, her mind replaying the memory of Peeta’s touch on her back over and over. She flushed again, thinking of how close his muscular body had to hers been when he walked by, how his blue eyes sparkled when he stared at her, how his dimples seemed to make an appearance when he beamed at her….how his ass looked when he bent over to help Cassie up...

Oh no. She was in trouble.

A young, hot, (she has to admit he was hot, there was no denying it) kind, patient man was going to be looking after her child and thus very, very involved in her life for the unforeseeable future. This would be interesting indeed…

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#everlark fanfiction #everlark #everlark fanfic #mama!katniss #katniss everdeen #Peeta Mellark #babysitter!peeta #The Hunger Games

[beautifulletdownfics]

Twenty Good Reasons :: Part Fourteen

Read Earlier Chapters Here My Masterlist

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Part Fourteen, This Is Family

The following morning was like a balloon slowly deflating.

I woke up dozens of times during the night. Nurses would come and go, a night doctor came to check on Laykn a few times, and every time Harry moved underneath me, it tugged me back to the room. It felt like waiting for a flight, there was this restless stillness in feeling like something was coming, and I needed to be ready for this to be the time I woke up to it.

There was a sense that morning would come, and Laykn's doctors would waltz back in and have answers.

What really happened was that my parents returned from their hotel just after seven a.m. and when Laykn's doctor came back to see us, he wanted to wait until the late afternoon before changing anything. I flicked between watching Dr Davies as he spoke and looking to Harry from where he was standing in the far corner to me, giving up his seat so each of my parents could have one. He frowned through the news but gave nods of understanding where he seemed to agree with what was being presented to him.

But I wanted to know now. I wanted Laykn to wake up now.

I felt we had already waited entirely long enough.

"Has he gotten better overnight?" I asked carefully, but I could taste the impatience in the words, right on my tongue, "I just—Is he, I mean …"

Dr Davies gave me a look that said he really couldn't hypothesise, "Looking at the monitoring from overnight, he's definitely not gotten any worse which is sometimes the best news you can have at this stage. We're not seeing any of the things we worry about—a spike in temperature, further bleeding, swelling—so, so far Laykn's doing well. He's doing okay for now. I know it seems like nothing, but I promise you it's not. We'll review and talk again in another six hours, but we'll know even more in twelve. That's when I'd be thinking we'll start to see a shift and be able to talk about trying to wake him up for you."

"Twelve hours," I repeated aloud, mainly for myself. Harry gave me a small but infinitely reassuring nod, "Okay."

"In the meantime, stay with Laykn by all means, but Nina and Harry," he looked between us both, "You should go back to wherever you are staying and freshen up, have a nap, eat something. Laykn's going to need you all as he comes through this, and you're useless if you're not looking after yourselves. And each other."

"Thank you," my mum said for us all as Dr Davies left the room. She turned to Harry and I, "He's right. You came straight off the plane here, you haven't even checked in—oh, is that going to be a problem with your hotel?"

"It's fine," Harry pacified, "I let them know we wouldn't arrive until today."

"A shower and a nap," my mum reached for my arm as Harry started collecting our belongings, "You'll feel a thousand times better, trust me."

I thought about telling her I didn't know that I could feel any better, much less a thousand times so, but instead, I pulled her in for a long hug. I took the handle of my small, carry-on suitcase from Harry as he gave my parents both a hug as well.

"You'll be a new man too, Harry," The warmth in my dad's voice was evident, "Can't imagine you can feel any of your limbs right now after a night of Nina sleeping on you?"

"She's pretty comfortable, actually," Harry returned with a smile, "We'll call you from the hotel. Was there any problem with yours?" He asked as an afterthought, frown settled back on his forehead, "I can—

—Ours was perfect," my mum confirmed, giving Harry an appreciative smile. Something warm chinked together in my chest at Harry's care for my family, "Go now, both of you need showers and something substantial to eat. And you should call your family, Harry. We spoke to everyone at home last night."

++

In the hotel bathroom, Harry stayed under the spray of the water much longer than me.

I stood in front of the mirror carelessly towel drying my hair, wearing the pyjama set Harry packed for me. The steam from the shower and the smell of hotel soap had the whole bathroom giving off the perpetuating clean, warm feeling I enjoyed most.

Neither of us was speaking, and there was no song being hummed under Harry's breath as he stood behind the thin glass pane. When he eventually got out and stood behind me to dry off, he was frowning tersely, as if deep in some thought he couldn't get a hold of properly. I gave him a slight smile and tried to ask the question with my eyes: are you alright? While we ate, Harry called his mum and told her what was going on, and listening in on that conversation added another layer of realism to this whole thing. As if he read my mind, Harry's neck turned away from our reflections, and he gave me a concerned look.

"Your mum is right. You hadn't had a meal since we left London," his hand thoughtlessly gestured out from where we are in the direction of the suite where we'd just finished a couple of plates of room service, "We're going to have to take some food back with us if we're going to spend long hours at the hospital."

I was suddenly too tired to have the conversation I knew needed to happen, "I know," I agreed readily, part of the hollow feeling I'd had for the last twenty-four hours now filled with food, "But right now I swear all I want is to lie flat. Can we nap and then make a game plan?"

Harry paused, if only for a moment, "Yeah, we can."

"We both look like zombies."

Ten minutes later, under the perfectly crisp hotel sheets, Harry rolled over on his side to face me, "This doesn't feel like it's really happening, does it? I don't even know what day it is anymore and it's only been one day."

I hooked my knee up onto his thigh and pressed my forehead against his shoulder, "It doesn't feel like Laykn's even there, does it?" I whispered, "Like, without him being awake, it's like … I don't know."

"We should figure out where he was staying, go get his stuff," Harry said, "His passport and all that."

There was silence then for a few moments then, all I could hear was Harry's breathing and the soft hum of the city outside the hotel room. The sheer volume of thoughts and feelings I'd had in the last twenty-four hours was overwhelming, and as I took in a slow breath, the smell of Harry's clean skin was a final straw.

He heard me sniffle and pulled his arm out from between us to wrap it around my body, "I know," was all he said, which was somehow the perfect thing for him to say.

I cried against his shoulder until the release of it had simmered down all the conflicting emotions rising up in me. Eventually, it was just both our steady breathing, and the only way I knew Harry wasn't asleep was from watching his eyelashes blinking on his profile, lit slightly from a crack in the curtains. His fingers had stilled on my skin, and there was no sound from him. Just blinking. Just staring at the ceiling.

"What are you thinking about?" I whispered.

"The baby," Harry replied easily. "And Laykn. And how quickly life can change without you realising it's going to. No warning for either, you know?"

I smiled minutely, "Well, we had a little warning with the baby. Just didn't know it was a warning, did we?"

Harry's hand fanned out on the top of my back, "That's true. I'm just—I'm glad that in both those things, in both these things, I've got you. I'm so grateful for …" his voice strained. Harry squeezed my shoulder to his side, "For you, and for us being solid but mainly I'm grateful you told me to pull my finger out a few months ago because boy I don't know if that douchebag could've handled this shock to the system. Not well, anyway."

"I'm grateful for you as well," I pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

"I think we should call your doctor in the morning," Harry said quickly, as though it had been right on the tip of his tongue to say, "Tell her what's happened and find out what we should do or even if there's anything we can do."

"You're worried, huh?"

"Yes," he turned his head towards mine, "I'm worried. I'm worried about everything. But I can't do anything about your brother, and I can't make your parents feel any better, and I can't quell your fears either, I can make sure we look after you right now."

"Are you worried about the tour as well?" I said quietly, sure it would be on the list somewhere.

"I'm really not," Harry rolled completely on his side, "I don't give a shit about it, I can do a tour whenever. The only thing I'm—I don't like that postponing dates will …"

"People are going to talk about it," I finished for him.

"Yeah," Harry sighed, "Dan sent through the statement earlier, do you want to read it?"

He was already reaching behind for his phone on the bedside table. The room lit up as Harry unlocked his work phone and held the screen between us, flicking through until he found the Mail app and opened it.

-

From: Dan B.

To: Harry Private

Subject: RE Statement, Clean

Mate, we can make any changes you like x

It is with deep regret we announce the indefinite postponement of the final leg of Harry's tour following a family emergency. At this stage, we do not know when the dates will proceed. We know this news is upsetting and will come as a shock to you all. We ask that you respect Harry's privacy at this time, and the privacy of his loved ones. Full Stop Management, on behalf of Harry Styles.

Will be posted as white text on black background on all channels. Comments disabled where they can be.

Awaiting your approval.

Love to you all, DB

-

We didn't say anything, and I knew Harry was waiting for me to speak first. It was straightforward and clinical, which was often the way with the communication out from Harry's team. This felt different, though, because it was talking about something deeply personal, without talking about it at all. I knew the layer of distance was protection. Harry was very deliberate in putting there.

"I think that's what you have to say, right? Is there anything else you'd like to include?"

Harry shook his head, "No."

"You didn't want it to come from you?"

Harry shook his head, "No, I only wanted eyes on it, I'm turning off my work phone after this. Dan can reach me if he needs to. Otherwise, I'm not working right now. I want this handled professionally, not personally."

"Okay," I wouldn't have minded if he'd felt the opposite, but wasn't surprised to hear him say it. "Well, I think you give them the okay then turn it off."

I watched him type out a quick response and do just that. He didn't hesitate or second guess it, just sent off his approval and that was that. The screen went black a few moments later, plunging the room back into darkness and I wondered if Harry was thinking about the fallout. What the next step he wasn't going to be involved in would mean. I wrapped my fingers around Harry's wrist and brought it to my mouth, kissing the warm skin there and then holding it to my lips.

"I'm not worried about it, Nina," he said eventually, turning his head to the side once more and finding my temple with his mouth, kissing me, "Just want Layk to be alright."

++

I woke up four hours later to Harry's phone ringing.

"Shit, sorry," he jogged into the bedroom and ripped if from where it was charging, "It's your mum."

I sat up in the sheets straight away, the initial shock of waking to the noise increasing tenfold by who was on the phone. Harry had it answered and on speakerphone almost instantly.

"Hi Mae," he said, lowering himself down to sit on his side of the bed.

"Hello, love, we just tried Nina's phone—"

"—I was asleep, I'm here, is he okay?" I cut over her speaking, staring at Harry's face in front of me.

I could hear movement behind her in the speaker, "Yes, yes, yes," she reassured us, I watched Harry let out half the breath he was holding, "The doctors have just been in, and they've made the adjustments that will wake him up. They think it'll still be another few hours—"

—We'll be there within the hour," Harry told her nodding despite my mum not being able to see it.

"Hopefully before that," I added quickly.

After getting off the phone with my mum, Harry and I sat still for half a beat before I realised I'd been clutching the bedsheets too tightly. My white knuckles released the material slowly and rubbed my palms down my face.

"Have another shower," Harry suggested, still watching me, "Wake up properly. I'll order some room service we can pack and take with us."

"Did you sleep at all?" I asked as he stood up and started walking out of the room, I pushed back the covers and rose to my knees.

"Yeah, I got up about half an hour ago to check in with mum and for a stretch, got some kinks in my back from the flight and—

—And me sleeping on you?"

He scrunched his nose up at me, "Maybe a little bit, now go," Harry nodded towards the bathroom door.

The shower helped with the fuzzy shock still hanging in my skull like a cloud. Eventually, the reality of the call with my mum set in and urgency set in. I shut off the water and got out, feeling something close to optimistic hope bloom. As I dried off and found fresh clothes to put on, I could hear Harry moving around the room. By the time I was coming out of the bedroom looking for the shoes I'd deserted when we had arrived earlier, he had a few brown paper bags and pieces of fruit sitting on the hotel dining table ready to take with us.

"Can you see my sneakers?" I asked him vaguely, hopping over his open suitcase that somehow hadn't made it into the bedroom.

He looked up from his seat, "At the door."

I hopped on one foot when I returned to the living area where Harry was, and, eventually, I dropped down onto the sofa beside him to slip on my shoes. Just as I was about to ask Harry if he was ready to go, his phone rang out loudly again.

"Richard?" He said quickly as soon as he answered, Harry, held his phone vertically out between us. "We're just about to leave the room."

"Oh good!" My dad's voice rang out, happy and lighter than it felt I'd heard in days.

Had it really still only been a day?

"Lakyn's awake!"

"What?" I exhaled, "Mum said it would take hours."

"That's brilliant," Harry said after me, a surprised grin on his face, "How is he?"

"Talking to your mum in the room now," dad continued, "He's groggy and a little disoriented, but he's awake."

The tears burst out of me immediately, loud, ugly tears that didn't arrive quietly, "Dad."

"I imagine he'll be asleep again by the time you get here," he told us, "But we told him you're here. He gave us a dopey smile."

"We're coming right now," Harry promised urgently. "Just as soon as Nina can manage to get her second shoe on."

My thumb kept slipping, and my heel would land outside the shoe again, I swatted Harry's shin at his teasing.

"It's because she doesn't undo the laces. And get her to stop crying," dad laughed, "You know how her brother hates any grand show of emotions."

"Shut up," I sniffled to them both, relief flooding through me in waves I couldn't quite believe. I violently shoved my foot into the sneaker one last time and wriggled it until it slipped in properly, "Ah! It's on. We're on our way, dad."

Harry deposited his phone into the pocket of the short sleeve, button-up shirt he was wearing. When I met his eyes, we were both smiling.

Harry shook his head and laughed, "Your fucking brother."

"He's awake!" I squeaked, crawling over Harry's lap and crossing my arms behind his neck. His hands settled on my waist, warm and steady, I planted a firm kiss on his lips, "I love you."

He smiled against me, "I love you too. Let's go."

++

Laykn slept for nearly six hours.

It was nearly 2pm by the time we got to the hospital, and when we arrived, my parents were sitting on either side of my brother, each with a book opened on their laps. A stark contrast to having sat watching him for any sign of movement for almost the entire twenty-four hours previous. There was a new calmness to the room, it felt less like an emergency situation somehow.

"Hi," Harry said behind me as we walked in and interrupted them.

My mum was up and hugging us both hardly a moment later. Harry and I got the recap on Laykn, and what his doctors were saying now he had woken up and fallen asleep. While we were talking, Harry slipped out, and it wasn't until he returned with four take away cups of tea I realised where he disappeared to.

And so then we waited.

Harry and my dad found a deck of cards and worked their way through all the games they knew between them. For a while, I sat to moderate and score. My mum sat at Laykn's side with her book, and about three hours in I pulled out Harry's laptop to try to get a few bars of symphony down. I gave up after another hour or so, his software wasn't up to date, and I couldn't remember the section I wanted to work on. Where momentary relief had cured my mind for most things, it still wasn't in work mode. I could hear the game of Snap starting to get nasty, Harry with his bottom lip between his teeth in concentration while my dad completely crushed him each round. I interfered before the name-calling could get particularly nasty, plonking myself down on Harry's lap and declaring my hunger to the room.

"I'd have beaten you that time," Harry insisted, dropping his cards on the table, "Nina broke my focus."

My dad rolled his eyes, "Sure you would've, son."

"Harry's got sandwiches," I announced, "One of them has mustard in, I had a sneaky peek as we left the hotel."

My mum stood up and stretched out her back, "I" m not quite ready for food yet, we did tell people at home we'd call them when it was morning their time. Richard, I could use a walk?"

My dad stood obediently, and pressed a kiss to my head as he walked past, "Look after our loser," he said of Harry with an amused smile on his face.

"Well," I let a puff of breath out once Harry and I had the room to ourselves, "That was rude? Why didn't they want to eat with us?"

Harry started pushing me off his legs, "Because we only had lunch two hours ago. They' v been in this room all night, I understand the need for a walk. It's good you're hungry, though."

I watched as Harry rummaged around in his backpack and pulled out a brown paper bag and two bottles of water. He returned to the table but took the seat my dad left, resting his elbows on the table and watching me with mild humour as I tore into the bag.

"I have to tell you something."

I frowned through chewing my first bite, Harry's face was unreadable if not a touch guilty, "What?"

Harry's eyebrows dug down as he looked to his hands on the table, "I told my mum … About being pregnant."

An incredulous laugh bubbled out of me, "Harry! You told her? What?"

"I know!" He cried out, "We're not meant to. I know. But with everything going on, I was so worried and stressed and fucking terrified for you. I didn't know how to deal with it all without talking to someone."

"Harry," I said softly. He was so earnest, and the concern was apparent on his face, "I'm okay."

"Didn't know that this morning," Harry mumbled. "I just needed her advice and help with what to do."

"It's okay," I took another bite of mustard and cheese goodness, "What did she say?"

That's when the smile appeared on Harry's face, "She's really happy about the baby. It was hard to keep her on track, really. She had good advice as well, just needed a clear head in on it with me, you know? I mean, then your dad rang and now things are a little lighter."

I knew how much Harry trusted his mother's judgement, and I truly loved it about him. Anne was a steadying force in his life, and when Harry couldn't trust himself, he could always trust her to have the answer. I had come to trust her voice in our lives as well.

"She's happy?"

"Yeah," Harry breathed out, and his smile turned into a megawatt grin, "Bloody elated."

"I'm glad you told her," I said honestly, "I'm sorry you've had to be so worried. I—

"—Hey, no," Harry frowned at me again and gestured to Laykn's bed without looking, "This is exactly where your head is supposed to have been. The baby happened so quickly before we left, it's… It's hard to keep everything in my brain at the moment, really."

"Whose baby?" A voice across the other side of the room said.

Harry and I both shot to our feet and turned to Laykn whose eyes were open and looking at the hospital ceiling, unfocused, but once I was at his side, they were clear and unmistakably those of my younger brother.

"Laykn," I breathed out, "Laykn, hi."

"Hey," he croaked out, "You're having a baby?"

I could barely see him from the tears brimming in my eyes, and just as I was about to evade the question, Harry spoke.

"We are."

"Harry," I hissed through an almost-laugh. "Stop telling people!"

"I might forget," Laykn piped up again, "Although I remember mum and dad saying you two were here … Was that today?"

"Yeah, mate," Harry responded, pressing his hand on the bed above Laykn's shoulder and leaning up over into his line of sight, "You spoke to them this morning. It's nearly 5pm now."

An expression fluttered on Laykn's face but couldn't stay there from the bandages. When he spoke, it strained his voice to try and inflect the humour behind it, "So my brains aren't leaking out my ears?"

"Laykn!" I scolded.

"Not yet, Layk," Harry said evenly.

I watched Laykn's eyes close in an exhausted flutter, "Are you really having a baby?"

Something softened in me at the sudden vulnerability in his voice and the way it was clearly difficult for him to be conscious this short amount of time, "We are," I told him, "We only just found out though, so you've got to keep the secret for us. Mum and dad don't know."

"Ah," Laykn sighed, "I can keep my mouth shut, but it'll cost 'ya."

I sniffed back, tears, "You idiot."

Whether it was our news or the moment, or Harry hovering over him and me scolding him, I watched Laykn's eyes pool as well. The skin around his eyes reddened, and a tear budded and then rolled down his cheek.

"I'm really fucking glad you're both here," he said through the emotion.

"Of course," Harry responded, "We love you. It's so good to hear your voice, mate. You scared us all."

"I scared me," my brother added quietly.

++

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[naitiaclo960writings]

Day 7 - Domestic

The moment you feel at home is when you start decorating the house. Dean had been repeating this to Sam ever since they had officially established their headquarters in the Men of Letters bunker. First of all, he began by displaying his favorite weapons in his room: his sawed-off shotgun, the machete he had made in Purgatory, a grenade launcher, his father’s fighting knives, his first stake… Quickly, the souvenir albums had left Baby’s trunk to weigh down the drawers of his bedside table.

Sam ended up imitating him by putting his clothes in the closet first, then his computer pouch in the desk, and finally he ended up storing countless books and tapes in boxes by his bed. Dean had obviously taken over the kitchen as quickly as possible and built his famous "Dean Cave" while Sam could spend whole nights devouring every book in the library or archives.

Castiel had also inherited a room — although it was rarely occupied — and was particularly fond of the calm of the infirmary, watching over one of the two brothers when necessary. Jack, for his part, was in the only house he had ever known and cherished every wall in this underground lair.

However, everyone agreed that the refrigerator was undoubtedly their favorite part of the bunker. The Men of Letters' was not a simple American fridge with two doors, nor even a fridge with a minibar option. No, their refrigerator was absolutely gigantic, with several doors dug directly into the wall and at least two meters of metal in width.

Of course, the food gets everybody to agree —especially when Dean felt like making his own handmade burgers— but that wasn’t the only reason this family was particularly fond of the fridge. It was not so much what was in it that found grace in their eyes, but what was on it.

The first person to hang anything on it was Sam. Tired of having to repeat to his brother to buy vegetables, he had then written a precise shopping list before hanging it with a magnet on the door containing the beers, certain that Dean would fall face to face with it before the end of the day. In response, Dean had hung another post-it on a lower door saying, "Here, rabbit man."

Soon after, Jack felt confident enough to hang one of his drawings, then another. Castiel had happily added the menu of this Chinese restaurant on the outskirts of Lebanon where the Winchesters loved to order after finishing a case. Dean had pinned a few handwritten recipes and Sam was again the first to put a picture of the four of them in the library, playing board games. Months later, Dean solemnly hung his wedding announcement with Castiel below the date of their first kiss, lovingly scribbled on a piece of paper. Little by little, the fridge was filled with memories and post-it notes, a fresco of their lives spread out among the gates of the metal surface.

It was past midnight when Sam decided to have a pick-me-up to continue his search among the archives. He proceeded as usual to his reserved part of the refrigerator when a bright yellow post-it attracted his attention. He knew every photo on this fridge so well that the slightest new element was now popping into his eyes and he came closer to read what it was saying.

"I’m sorry. Can we talk?"

It was definitely Dean’s handwriting. Sam frowned, the cogs of his brain creaking in his head. He hadn’t had a fight with his brother recently, it was barely if he’d seen him for the last two days. Jack had been on vacation with Jody since the beginning of the week and Castiel had left the bunker for… oh.

Dean and Castiel had a fight five days ago. Sam had not really understood the reason for the argument, the two of them shouting at each other behind closed doors before they remained silent for hours. This was the reason why Dean had been locked up in his room since Tuesday and that Castiel only came back from time to time to wander like a lost soul before leaving for an indefinite period. This message was therefore not addressed to him, Sam realized. It was a cry for help from his brother to Castiel. Although the angel did not need to drink or eat, it was true that he particularly liked to look at the refrigerator whenever he could as a reminder of why he called this place "his home".

Sam pinched his lips and decided not to interfere. It was something between his brother and his best friend and he would be there if they asked him for support, but not before. Although troubled, Sam grabbed a beer and a few cherry tomatoes before leaving the kitchen.

To his surprise, the first post-it did not stay on the refrigerator very long. The following day he had been replaced by a note written with much more careful writing despite the austerity of the words.

"You said everything you had to say and so did I."

A cold anger sweated in Castiel’s words. Sam was still in the kitchen when Dean made his entrance, heading for the food first as usual. He was also present when his brother’s eyes fell on the note and he froze to read it in silence. A few seconds later, Dean unpinned the post-it before wrinkling it and throwing it in the trash. He returned to his room without even getting the breakfast he had come to fetch.

"I’m an idiot. Please pick up your phone." Said the following note three days later accompanied by a photo of Dean and Castiel wearing reindeer antennas for Christmas that they had celebrated with family two years earlier. Sam recognized Dean’s trembling hand behind every word.

Sam soon found himself opening the refrigerator more often than usual simply to find out how his brother and Castiel were progressing in their fight, worried about each one of them. Dean was still  as silent as a tomb about it and he hadn’t seen Castiel for a week now. Whatever happened between them, it was by far the longest argument the couple has had to date.

Dean’s last note remained unanswered.

When Sam opened the fridge door one morning to take milk, the post-it had been replaced by another still written by Dean.

"Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word, Elton John"

Sam could not help a small smile from appearing on his face. Dean had always been more gifted with music than words, but the mere fact that he chose Elton John showed something fragile and sincere. Sam hoped Castiel would get the hint. Just below this post-it was pinned a photo of their fingers intertwined, the bright wedding rings to their fingers, as well as a large black feather.

Indeed, the next day, Dean’s note was still there, but this time accompanied by a second piece of paper with an address.

"716 E Montana Ave, 1312, Baker. Room 17. You’re the One that I Want, Grease."

Not more than an hour later, Dean had gathered his belongings and was already finding an excuse to Sam when this one cut him off. They exchanged a look which they alone knew the secret before Dean nodded and fondly patted his shoulder. The next minute, the Impala’s engine was growling in the garage before moving away, leaving Sam free to go and have breakfast with Jack in the kitchen.

When Dean returned two days later, it was with Castiel next to him and a weight off their shoulders. Sam sent them a simple, gentle smile before going to hug his brother and Castiel. When he got up to bring them beers, he noticed that the post-its had not left the refrigerator. However, no one ever removed them afterwards.

The family simply added other memories as life slowly resumed in the bunker.

* * * @winchester-reload  Hi! Here’s a short one for today with my favorite couple. Please, let me know if you enjoyed it!

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[regular-lord-reckoner]

i apologize in advance because this is probably going to be a lot but i just need to get some stuff out of my brain and hopefully be able to feel a little more at peace

so...okay, to start with we got a new dog today

should be a great thing, right? but i just...i really don’t think it’s a good idea

for one thing, it’s a very young pup, he’s only 7 weeks old. for another (and this is the biggest point) i had no idea this was even happening until it was already a done deal, i got no say in the matter

and i keep being told well, that’s not a problem because it’s not like i have to take care of him but like...of course i am. how would i fucking not?

my mom works a lot and spend a good portion of the week at work and even though i’m here most of the time i‘m usually upstairs

the primary caretaker of this dog is supposed to be my father but like...so seriously how is that going to go when the man spends a good portion of the day sleeping? who’s supposed to be letting this dog go outside to go to the bathroom or making sure he’s not into something?

and like, i don’t mean to be indelicate by any means, but my dad’s old. he’s not going to suddenly get better at this point in his life, in fact it’s only going to get worse from here and i feel like it’s already started

not too long ago he completely burned a pot and nearly burned down the kitchen because he forgot he was making beans on the stove top

any more it seems like if he starts a load of laundry he just...forgets it and i have to come behind him and stick them in the dryer or sometimes just rewash them altogether because they’ve started to smell sour

there’s just a lot of stuff like that where you can tell he started doing something but went to go check on something else or just wandered off and forgot about it completely

i’m genuinely worried about his memory starting to go and we think...giving him a living creature that depends on him for survival was a good idea? i’m sorry, i just don’t see it and that means i’ll have to pick up the slack and like. okay, i’ll do it for this poor little dog that also had no say in this but needs someone to take care of him but jesus fucking christ i just wish someone had bothered to run this by me first so i could at least mentally prepare for this

mind you too i’m already taking care of two cats that also aren’t mine and were brought here without me knowing anything about it and that was also a “well, it’s not your responsibility so don’t worry about it” kind of thing and well...here we are.

and i’m already trying to help out around here more as it is because like, no shit, i appreciate getting to stay here i really do so i don’t mind but honestly a lot of what i end up doing isn’t even my own stuff, y’know?

i’m taking care of myself but i’m also trying to go behind two other people and keep things clean and make things easier for everyone else and i don’t even get a courtesy like, “hey, big new responsibility dropping, get ready for it”? i dunno

and i’ve expressed all of this and just nothing. nobody gives a shit.

and so like okay, fine fair enough you know i’d been feeling anyway like i’m really ready to just...have my own place. again, i appreciate getting to stay here and genuinely have no fucking idea how i’d afford to live on my own but i’m starting to think i just need to bite the bullet and either get a second job or see about some other potential ways to make money

the only thing about that is...there’s a big part of me that’s like, “what’s the point? how long do you think you’ll get to even have your own life anyway?”

because again like...my dad’s old. his health, although not as bad as it has been in the past couple of years is still not going to do a miraculous turn around and like...especially if his mind is starting to go what are my options, realistically?

i go off and start my own life and will just have to give it up to come back here to help take care of him

and i know you’re probably thinking, “well no, you don’t have to do that,” but don’t i?

i’m just going to make my mom deal with that all by herself? there’s no other kids but me who will help. other family might but it’s not really fair to put that on them either and on top of that because we really hit the jackpot with relatives i can’t even begin to tell you how many vultures are going to come out of the woodworks when they get even a hint that things are going bad (hell, that already started when he was going through cancer treatments during this pandemic no less and family were messaging him wanting to know if they could come and visit like...absolutely not, what the fuck are you thinking??)

and i love my mom but she doesn’t take the greatest care of herself and i don’t really want to get into it but she’s definitely started to worry me with her drinking lately.

i feel like i can’t leave here. i feel like everything will fall apart if i do and that when shit really does hit the fan i need to be here so...why bother to leave?

i want to, but can i?

i don’t feel like my life is even mine at this point 

they’re not bad people, i can’t justify doing my own thing and telling them to kick rocks, especially after all they’ve done for me but at the same time i just don’t want to be stuck here forever

i just feel really, really trapped

and i know when people say that everyone gets nervous because uh-oh, that’s suicide talk!! but that’s the fucked thing too is that’s part of what feels especially suffocating

that’s not an option for me. not unless i want to hurt them as badly as possible and i don’t.

and you’d think it’s be maybe a relief to not have that as an option anymore, that oughta steer things in a more positive direction just naturally but instead it just kind of feels like someone’s trapped me in a room that’s slowly filling with water and there are no exit doors or vents or any possible means of escape so i just have to either sit here and slowly wait to drown or do what feels impossible and find some way to make all the water leave and build a better room

and obviously i should be talking about all of this with y’know, an actual therapist but that’s still proving really difficult at the moment

i made a new list of potential ones i just haven’t been able to reach out to any just yet and it definitely doesn’t help that every time i start to gear up to do it it seems like i get online and see a bunch of posts that are like, “honestly, therapy is a scam and not at all worth it and you’re stupid if you think it actually helps anyone, it’s likely to just traumatize you more and you can never trust a therapist!!” and i’m just like oh, okay then

because that’s the thing of it too like i need to talk to somebody, right? but clearly the shit i need to talk about is heavy and despite my trapped predicament like...i need to talk about these dark thoughts but is that going to get me hospitalized? is that going to fuck up my life even more?

and on top that, yeah dude, already having trust issues and being damn near incapable of letting new people into my life at all already doesn’t bode well in trying to find a person i can talk to about with all of this shit but i love the constant reminder that even getting to that point is likely going to be painful and could possibly just make shit that much worse!!!

i also just can’t stop thinking about the one therapist i did reach out to and that interaction alone has made me feel shitty enough. initially i tried to just take it in stride and figured it just wasn’t a good fit but now i’m convinced that’s how it’s going to go when i reach out to anyone else.

i’ll be made to feel like i’m stupid for needing someone to talk to because according to her “my clients have friends if they just want someone to talk to, y’know?” hahahaha no, i don’t but sure, go on!

like ma’am, no disrespect, i’m sure your methods work for someone, somewhere but i don’t think getting more sleep and walking more is going to fix the problem and on that subject...i don’t have friends

i have a friend and that’s about it

when i say i have trouble letting people into my life i really mean it

and yeah, maybe i’m just being a big baby about it all and i just need to like...try to make that happen anyway but i’m also at this point where it’s like...how?

actually how?

at my age?? finding friends??

on top of that just...i’ve been through my share of toxic friendships and although i’d like to think i’ve learned a lot since then and would hopefully never find myself in any again you never really know until you get into it, right? and just the thought of it, of putting myself out there, opening up, being vulnerable and just...letting people into my life only to possibly go through more shit it just sounds exhausting and terrifying.

i know it’s what i need to do, i know i can’t just close myself off from the world and essentially cease to exist while still being here but it just feels so fucking overwhelming and then on top of that like i said before, is there even a point?

because it kind of seems like i’m going to be needed here indefinitely and so is that just my life then? i’m just a loser who never leaves her hometown, never moves out, never has a life of her own or expands her circle to include more people because she just has to stay here and watch over things and take care of everyone and all the added responsibilities they keep bringing into this house without even running it by me first?

it feels like it and maybe it doesn’t have to be but it feels like it

and it just feels really, really suffocating 

and hopeless

and maybe it’s not really, maybe i’m missing something here but i feel like i can see down the road for many, many miles and it doesn’t look promising

and i feel selfish and horrible for even saying all of this because it sounds like i’m just pissed off i have to take care of things and it’s really not that

i genuinely don’t mind helping out and maintaining a space and i don’t even really mind cleaning all that much, it can be a good stress relief i’ve found but it’s just this overwhelming feeling i have of like...this is my life. this is all it’s ever going to be.

i’m going to sit here and watch everyone else go on and live their lives, have lots of friends and romance and really just experience life and i’m just going to be sitting here left in the dust at home chasing after pets and trying to keep everything from falling apart until the bottom does inevitably fall out so i can be here to pick up the pieces just like i did last time

and i mean if that’s the case then i’ll make peace with it, i just wish it could be different i guess. if nothing else, i wish i didn’t have this urge to change things or to have a different life because it just doesn’t feel possible right now. feels very much like if i step away even for a second that everything’s going to go wrong and i’ll be partially to blame because if i had been here maybe things would be different

then again, the last time something tragic happened and i lost someone i loved very much i was here and it didn’t make a damn difference so maybe my presence isn’t as important as i think but i guess that’s part of it too like...that happened on my watch and if something else bad happens when i’m not here... i’m barely living with the first shit, i don’t know if i could handle the second

idk. this is really stupid i think but it’s been in my head for a while now and with this new dog thing i’m just kind of at my breaking point with it so here you go, void.

hopefully i’ll be able to talk myself into getting a therapist anyway even though i’m scared to death because i know i shouldn’t be putting this here but right now i just feel incredibly stuck and i’m not sure what to do or where to go

#just need to get some thoughts out #this is a little heavy so no obligation to read

[justlookfrightened]

How hard could it be? Epilogue

A/N: I’m posting this as the epilogue of “How Hard Could It Be?”, but it’s actually going to be the first chapter of its as-yet-untitled sequel. Look for updates on AO3 after “How Hard Could It Be?” finishes posting.

“Come on, Jack, answer.”

Bitty heard the ringing change to the mechanical voice reading the phone number and telling him to leave a message.

He hung up and looked at  the time. Just after eight. It was a couple of hours earlier than he usually called Jack, but he knew Jack should be up.

Probably he was doing his morning exercise routine. Even with the return to conditioning in the team facilities, players were still doing a lot of it at home because of restrictions on how many people could be in the gym at one time.

Call me when you get this, Bitty texted. He hoped Jack would call before he showered and dressed and had breakfast.

It’s important, Bitty added.

There was nothing more he could do, so he went back to the kitchen and got butter from the fridge. He could leave a couple of sticks to soften for cookies and cube the rest into flour for a pie crust.

MooMaw brought her coffee cup in from the porch. 

“Baking already? What did Jack say?”

“I didn’t talk to Jack,” Bitty said, concentrating on measuring salt into the flour.

“You’re going to move back with your mother and daddy then?” MooMaw asked. “That’s what you’re trying to work yourself up to do?”

“What? No,” Bitty said, starting on the butter. “Jack didn’t answer. Probably working out. But if he doesn’t want me, I’ll try Shitty and Lardo. If things are opening up again, it’s time for me to move on.”

“Move on from here?”

“From Georgia, with my life, all of it,” Bitty said.

“You don’t have to leave,” MooMaw said. “I can tell Connie I don’t have room.”

“Nah,” Bitty said. “She needs a place. And she wants to stay here. Even if I didn’t have somewhere to go, I could take the sofa. And I have a room with Mama and Coach.”

“Have you talked to them?” MooMaw asked.

Bitty shook his head. “Not yet. I want to have a plan first.”

His phone buzzed on the table, he wiped his hands on a dish towel. 

“It’s Jack,” he said. “I’ll just go …”

“Front porch is open,” MooMaw said, picking up the bowl with the beginnings of his pie crust. “I’ll just stick this in the Frigidaire until you’re ready to get back to it.”

“Hey, Jack,” Bitty said, answering the call as he pushed the screen door open.

“Bittle?” Jack said. “Are you alright? Is your grandmother alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Bitty said. “I promise. It’s just, my Aunt Connie lost her job. The restaurant she managed in Atlanta announced it’s closing for good.”

“That’s too bad,” Jack said. “But -- and I don’t mean to be insensitive -- why did you need to call me at eight o’clock in the morning to tell me?”

“Because she called MooMaw last night and asked if she could move in here,” Bitty said. “When her lease is up at the end of the month.”

“Okay,” Jack said.

“And the guest room I’ve been sleeping in will become Aunt Connie’s room,” Bitty said. “And I know we talked about, well, me moving back north and maybe staying with you, but I thought that might be more of a ‘maybe someday’ kind of thing and not a ‘I need a place to stay next month’ kind of thing, and if it is that’s totally fine,” Bitty said. “I get it, we barely know each other, we’ve never met in person, and even if we like each other it’s way too much to ask with our relationship being what it is, if you can call it a relationship at all, and --”

“Bittle,” Jack said.

“Mama would be happy to have me back at home with her, and maybe Shitty and Lardo could help me find a place to share in Boston, and MooMaw said she’d tell Connie the room was taken if I wanted her to, but it’s the room Connie grew up in and after working through the whole shut-down, now the place closes because people aren’t coming back in droves? And she’s nearly 60, and she doesn’t know how she’s gonna find a new job --”

“Bittle.”

“Sorry,” Bitty said. “I’m rambling. I just wanted to know before Mama hears the news about Aunt Connie today. She’ll be thrilled about me coming home, and I want to stop that train before it starts if it’s not gonna happen..”

Jack was silent for a moment before saying, “Is that what you want, to stay in Georgia with your family?”

“Not really,” Bitty said. “I mean, maybe for a little while? Like a week or two? But not another three or four months. I’ve liked spending time with MooMaw, and my parents and I -- it’s gotten better, y’know? -- but I don’t think this is where I want to spend the rest of my life. But I know that’s my problem, not yours.”

“Do you not want to stay with me?” Jack said. “I’ve got plenty of room.”

“I know, sweetpea, but I don’t want to put you on the spot,” Bitty said. “I mean, this isn’t like an old-fashioned arranged marriage or something where the first time we lay eyes on each other is the first day we … you know.”

“Just because you stay here doesn’t mean we have to sleep together,” Jack said. “I have had houseguests before without that, eh?”

Bitty snickered in spite of himself.

“You don’t think it would be bad for us?” Bitty asked. “I mean, like us us, like making us hate each other because we’re stuck together, or making us put up with things we don’t like because we don’t want to cause problems?”

“I don’t know,” Jack said. “I’ve never lived with someone I was in a relationship with.”

“And we’d have to be careful anyway,” Bitty said. “Like, when I get there, I should stay in the guest room and stay away from you as much as possible for two weeks just in case I get exposed to this on the road. And -- wait. What did you say?”

“That I never lived with someone before?” Jack said. “Is that weird?”

“No, but, is that what we’ll be doing?” Bitty said. “Living together? I guess I was thinking more of an indefinite visit, until I can find a job and get a place.”

“If that’s what you want,” Jack said. “You’re welcome to my guest bedroom, I guess.”

“And your kitchen?” Bitty said. “I’ve been itching to bake with you for weeks now.”

“With me or with my kitchen?” Jack chirped. 

“Both?” Bitty said.

“You should know training camp starts July 1,” Jack said. “So I won’t be home that much. And once we start playing, I won’t be home until … I really don’t know when. So it won’t be so much that you’re staying with me as staying in my place.”

“Ugh, that’s true,” Bitty said. “Little old me, all alone in a luxury condo with top-of-the-line everything. It’ll be like the best house sitting job ever. I can take in the mail and water the plants.”

Jack chuckled.

“What makes you think I have plants?”

“You have one,” Bitty said. “I saw that ficus in your living room.”

“What makes you think it’s real?” Jack challenged.

“Uh … there was a dead leaf?”

“Was there?” 

Bitty could hear Jack walking through the condo.

“Shit, you’re right,” Jack said. “I usually have a service take care of the plants but they haven’t been coming because of the pandemic. They sent instructions … but I think I forgot to water last week.”

“See?” Bitty said. “I can make myself useful.”

“You don’t have to,” Jack said. “You’re welcome to come and stay as long as you want or need to. If things open up enough by then, I can get the plant lady to come back. But we don’t have to figure it out now.”

“No, now I just need to tell my parents that after moving home from college and more or less directly into MooMaw’s house, I’m going to move back to New England at the end of June to live with a man I’ve never met,” Bitty said. “It should go well.”

“Haha,” Jack said. “I’ll have to … is it okay if I tell the team? That you’re staying with me? They don’t have to know we’re anything besides friends. But it would be hard to keep it to myself, I think.”

“Of course,” Bitty said. “It’s your home, your team. Tell them as much as you want.”

“Thanks,” Jack said. “Good luck with your folks. Let me know how it goes. And Bittle …”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really looking forward to meeting you in person.”

“Me too,” Bitty said. “I mean, meeting you, not me.”

They ended the call with Jack laughing at Bitty’s joke. Bitty shook his head and looked at the phone for a moment before heading back to the kitchen and resuming his work on the dough.

“Well?” MooMaw asked.

“Looks like I’m headed to Providence in a couple of weeks,” Bitty said. “So this is gonna be a peach pie for Mama.”

Bitty was waiting on MooMaw’s porch with the pie, a pitcher of sweet tea and a container of peanut butter cookies boxed up for coach when his mother came with the groceries. She left the bags on the step, and Bitty got up to carry them inside. 

“Go ahead and get yourself  some pie and tea,” he said. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

He left the bags in the kitchen with MooMaw, and came back outside, cutting his own slice of pie before taking a seat on the other side of the porch from his mother.

“Is this about Aunt Connie?” his mother said. “She called this morning. She was asking if I thought we could put together some kind of order business for baked goods and jams and such, maybe sell at farmer’s markets and things. I said you’d have to be part of it too, of course. Because then we could make more, and cover more markets every weekend.”

“No,” Bitty said. “Well, sort of. It’s about Aunt Connie moving back here, at least.”

“You know your room’s been ready for you,” his mother said. “And I know you’re a grown man and need your privacy. Your father and I won’t be nosy.”

What did they think Bitty would be doing in his room? By himself? Because he honestly didn’t know any other gay men in Madison, although there must be some, just based on numbers. And anything else … well, he;d been a teenager already hadn’t he?

He wished he weren’t blushing to the roots of his hair when he said, “No, Mother. It’s not about moving home. Or, I guess, it’s about not moving home.”

His mother looked confused.

“It’s going to be difficult to find a place around here just now, and you’d need a job …”

“I know,” Bitty said. “I will need a job, and that will be hard to find around here. You knew I was planning to go back north.”

“But, where --”

“With Jack,” Bitty said. “He invited me.”

“You can’t impose on a man you barely know for goodness knows how long,” his mother said, like it was obvious. “Even if he says it’s okay, people get tired of having guests.”

“I know, Mama, but it won’t be like that,” Bitty said, hoping very much that he was right. “By the time I get there, he’ll be in training camp, and then he’ll be away for the playoffs the NHL is doing this year, keeping all the teams in the same place, so won’t even be there for a lot of the time. And he’s got a spare room and bathroom and everything.”

“Now, Dicky,” his mother said. “I know you really like Jack, from the time you’ve spent on the computer with him, and he does seem taken with you, but  that’s not real life. I’d hate for you to go so far only to be disappointed. Maybe you can visit him for a week and come home?”

“No, ma’am,” Bitty said. “Traveling isn’t such a great idea right now -- I’m planning to isolate myself for a couple of weeks once I get there just in case -- and anyway, I wasn’t asking permission. I was sharing my plans.”

#omgcheckplease #omg check please #zimbits #my fic

[captain-s-rogers]

Southern Style

(gif credit to the creator)

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader Word Count: 1,347 Warnings: none Square Filled: Road Trip AU Song: Southern Style - Darius Rucker A/N: Another square for @marvelfluffbingo​​​​​​​​ 2020! This is a rewrite of a fic I have previously posted on my Supernatural blog (@d-s-winchester​​) so don’t come at me about plagiarism and shit. It’s my writing and I’m allowed to tweak it and repost it however I’d like. As always a HUGE thank you to the best bestie around @arrowsandmixtapes​​​​ for looking over my stuff and making sure it isn’t terrible. If you want to be added to my tag list please let me know! Feedback is cool :)

Chris adjusted himself in his seat as the interviewer got ready to ask the next question. All of the questions thus far had been about the new movie and Captain America so he knew the next few questions would be about you. They hadn’t touched on his relationship yet.

“How did you feel when Y/N finally agreed to go out with you? Was it different than when she said yes when you proposed?”

Chris let out a laugh.

“It wasn’t different at all, really,” he smiled, “both times I couldn’t contain my excitement. I kind of let out a little enthusiastic ‘yes’.”

The interviewer laughed before asking her next question.

“Can you give us some details on your relationship since the wedding is right around the corner?”

“That depends on what you want to know.”

“Anything,” the interviewer prompted, “everything.”

“That’s easy,” he smiled.

He smiled at the memories of you that flooded his mind. It was almost like he was lost in a dream as he went on to describe your relationship, this was the first time he’d went into such detail.

Chris wasn’t expecting to fall in love with you. He’d ended up in Georgia on an unexpected road trip. Something he impulsively decided to do. He got in his car and just drove, destination unknown, in an attempt to clear his head, get some of his thoughts together and figure out if the prospects in front of him were really what was best for him. The anxiety he was feeling over the possibility of taking the role of Captain America was plaguing him and he just couldn’t shake it. He knew it would be huge for his career and that was great but the toll it would take on his personal life and his privacy, something he loved, was one of the large factors making him lean toward declining the role.

He’d been driving for hours, his head no clearer than it was the moment he climbed into the car, when he finally crossed the state line into Georgia. Realizing he hadn’t eaten in hours had him pulling off at the first exit he found and parking his car at the first diner he saw.  He was still uncertain what direction his life was going to go in but the moment he set foot in that diner he had a feeling his entire life was going to change -- and it had nothing to do with his career.

 “Can I start you off with a drink?” you asked with a bright smile and a southern drawl and immediately he was taken by you.

 “Uh, water is fine,” he smiled, composing himself.

 In his opinion you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. You weren’t wearing much makeup and he knew you didn’t need it. You’d brought him his water and he placed his order. Throughout the rest of his meal he’d flirted with you more than he’d care to admit but it paid off because he’d left that diner with your number. That moment he decided that maybe Georgia was the place to spend some time and really figure out what he wanted.

 Two days later he was taking you out to dinner at one of the nicest restaurants in town. You were dressed in a sundress and sandals, perfect for the warm summer weather and he thought you looked incredible. It was a perfect first date as far as he was concerned, ending with him walking you to your front door and a sweet first kiss goodnight.

 Over the next few weeks of his impromptu, indefinite, getaway the two of you spent all of your free time together. He’d come to realize that you had a lot in common. He learned you loved to read and were very well read, you were pretty adventurous when it came to food and you enjoyed to spend as much time as possible outdoors – whether that be at the beach or hiking. He learned that you loved to travel but didn’t really have the time to do so because of your job.

 He came to find that you were the picture of perfection and the perfect real life adaptation of a true Southern Belle. That night you were both lying on a blanket on the beach on the lake when he learned that you wanted your father and two brothers to walk you down the aisle. He learned that you were a fan of classic rock and preferred oysters to clams.

 Every minute he spent with you he was falling more and more in love and when it came time for him to leave he was reluctant to go. The studio was begging him for an answer and he had put it off long enough. After spending so much time with you he realized that taking the role was really what he wanted. He wanted to live his life to its fullest, have no regrets and take any opportunity given to him -- and this was the biggest opportunity yet. 

When you walked with him to his car the day he decided to leave you assured him more than once that you would be waiting for him when he decided to pass through again. As he opened the door and climbed behind the wheel he promised you he would never just pass through, that every time he set foot in that small Georgia town it would be to see you.

 He made good on his promise, flying out to see you whenever he had off, and when he couldn’t come to you he flew you out to Boston or LA to see him. After going through that for almost a year it came time for him to meet your parents. Even though he was nervous your laid back nature made him that much more comfortable. Your parents loved him and he loved them. By the time the visit was over he had made the second biggest decision of his life. He’d made the decision that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

 It was only a few months later that you’d uprooted your life and moved in with him in his house in California. After that your life seemed to shift. Due to your new location you had the opportunity to pursue your dream of becoming a photographer. Your life was taking a turn for the best and you were more than grateful.

 Five months after you’d moved in with Chris he took a short trip to see your father. Once Chris had his blessing he took you out to dinner and asked you to be his wife. He couldn’t imagine his life without you and frankly, you couldn’t imagine your life without him. You accepted enthusiastically and immediately began the wedding planning.

 With just a few days to go until the actual event you were in a frenzy. As stressful as it was you were more than excited about the wedding and the rest of your life with Chris.

“We’re both really excited,” Chris finished his recount.

“Sounds like you really love her,” the interviewer smiled.

“I do,” Chris grinned, “Y/N is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Walking into the diner that day was the best decision I’ve ever made. My life would be completely different if I’d picked somewhere else to eat. That diner and the state of Georgia hold a special place in my heart.”

“With good reason,” the interviewer smiled, “I wish you both the best of luck, though I don’t think you’ll need it.”

Chris thanked her and smiled. Once the interview was over he went home to you, more than happy that seeing you in the kitchen making dinner – an apron tied around your waist – was what he had to look forward to for the rest of his life. He wasn’t lying when he told the interviewer that walking into that diner that day changed his life. It not only changed his life, it gave him everything he’d ever wanted.

@arrowsandmixtapes​​ @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​​​ @growningupgeek​​​ @phoenixfyre374​​​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​​​ @captain-rogers-beard​​​ @patzammit​​​ @what-is-your-plan-today​​​ @sagechanoafterdark​​​ @kitkatd7​​​

#chris evans #marvelfluffbingo #chris evans x reader #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fan fic #reader x chris evans

[fedeipox]

The Way of Time (Rdr2 fanfic) - Chapter 5 (2/3)

I have finally decided I’m gonna play the game for a fourth time and take some good (at least I hope they’ll be good) pictures. I want to post pictures. Interesting pictures. I have no idea of what kind of photos should I take.

Part 1 here: https://fedeipox.tumblr.com/post/638598893496631296/the-way-of-time-rdr2-fanfic-chapter-5-13

Chapter 5 (2/3) - A little trip

Words: 3k

In the meantime, Charles had come back and stopped his horse right in front of her, who, in some kind of involuntary reflex, took a step backwards. 

“Here, you see? You have nothing to be afraid of. She’s calm and completely under control. Touch her.”

“W-what?”

“Come on, stroke her. Here on the neck” said Charles showing her how to do it.

Emily felt her heartbeat speed up as she took a step towards that big creature. She was really doing it, she was really about to touch a horse. Well, technically, she had already touched one, the night they had brought her to camp, but now she was doing it intentionally. 

She expected everything from horses but being so soft. They really had the smoothest kind of hair and this new unexpected sensation pushed her to keep touching it.

“Hey, what are you doing?” asked a familiar voice.

Emily turned her head to look at Arthur and with a thin whisper, just like she was afraid she would have troubled the horse if she spoke too loudly, she said: “I’m touching a horse!”

“What, you never…”

But Arthur had no need to ask it, he could perfectly tell she had never touched a horse from the way she was doing it.

“Not like this” he sighed coming closer and throwing away his cigarette.

“You always have to keep her calm, so use all your hand, like this” he said patting the horse’s neck and Emily couldn’t not notice how big his hands were.

She followed his example, but the horse, with all those hands on it, for a moment felt irked and shook its big neck. Emily gasped and took a step back, withdrawing her hand like a shellfish inside its shell. 

“Shh shh shh. Easy. You have nothing to worry about, really. She’s the quietest horse on earth” said Charles.

“It’s a she? What’s her name?” asked Emily.

“Taima.”

“I’ve never seen a horse with all these strange colors” she stated touching a lock of the horse’s mane.

Taima was brown, a little bit reddish, black, white, grey, spotted, plain. She looked like a Picasso of colors.

“This breed generally is” answered Charles.

“Breeds? There are horses breeds?”

Arthur and Charles exchanged a puzzled look before they both looked at her.

“Sorry, stupid question. From the way you’re looking at me I guess there are horses breeds.”

After a moment of silence, Emily took a step away and said: “okay, thank you Charles.”

“What, you’re done? You don’t want to mount up?” he asked.

Emily froze. 

“What? No no no. Never.”

“You have to learn if you want to move around here.”

“I don’t need to. I can use the wagons.”

“A wagon is far slower and catches more attention. Charles is right: you should learn” said Arthur.

“I will never get on one of these things.”

“It’s easy. Show her, Arthur.”

Emily withdrew as she watched Mr. Morgan put both his hands on the saddle and a foot in the stirrup.

“If you want to sit straddle, you do this way” he said hoisting up and sitting on the back of Taima.

“But if you wear a dress and you want to sit like a lady… Charles would you help her?”

Charles walked by her side and did as to take her by her waist, but she took a step back and shook her head.

“No, no, really…”

“We’ll be right here. Nothing will happen” Charles reassured her.

“And I’m staying on the horse with you” added Arthur looking at her from above.

Emily felt something moving inside her stomach: he was staying with her on the horse. She walked towards Charles’s hands who in a blink of an eye raised her and she found herself on a pretty hard saddle and with her face very close to Arthur’s. He smelled of tobacco.

“See there’s nothing to worry about. When you’ll start to feel comfortable on a horse, Charles here can teach you how to ride.”

“Can’t you teach me?” she asked naively. 

Arthur’s eyes met hers and for a second all around her slowed down.

What was she doing? Was she really starting to like him? An outlaw, a criminal, a man who was at least ten years older than her?

He chuckled and looked away.

“I can’t, Miss. I’m leaving tomorrow” he said.

Leaving? To go where? To do what? She wanted to ask all these questions, but all that she could do was saying a disconsolate “oh”.

“But don’t you worry, Charles here is one of the best riders, he’ll do a great job.”

An idea popped in Emily’s mind: if she had learned how to ride a horse by the time Arthur had come back, they would have been able to wander around together. Again, it was a silly and childish thought, but Emily was like this, sweet and naive.

She stretched out her arms and made Charles understand she wanted to get down. He dutifully helped her and then Arthur dismounted Taima.

“Which one is your horse, Arthur?” she asked looking at the other animals around her.

“That one” he pointed to a spotted brown and white horse.

“Is it a ‘he’ or a ‘she’?”

“A ‘he’” he answered walking towards it with Emily right behind him.

“He has a name?”

“Not yet. I found it recently and I haven’t had the time to choose one.” To Emily that white and brown mantle reminded more of a cow than a horse, and cows reminded her of ranches. Looking at Arthur for a brief moment, she imagined him like a rancher, with that cowboy hat and a whip in his hands to make the cattle move, and a name appeared in her mind.

“Drover” she murmured.

“Drover? You have an unusual taste for horses names” he laughed.

“I didn’t know there was a rule for horses names.”

He chuckled and silence fell again as Emily couldn’t remove from her head the idea that he was going to leave.

“Where will you go tomorrow?” she asked.

“I’ll wander for a bit, see if I can find something, stay on my own.”

“How long are you going to stay away?”

She couldn’t restrain herself from asking and for a second she had the impression that Arthur was becoming suspicious of all those questions, but he fast hided it.

“I don’t know, as long as I need.”

“But… I’m sorry, I don’t understand. You already have all the freedom you can possibly want here. You can leave tomorrow morning and come back in the evening, no-one said you have to spend days out. And then, what will you do on your own? Without company. Won’t you be bored to death? Or feel lonely?”

Arthur smiled and shook his head. No, she couldn’t understand, and he couldn’t understand her, either. Their time was different, their way to do things was different, Emily knew it, deep inside her. Arthur didn’t, because he couldn’t accept the fact that she came form another time, but he had realized she had a different mindset and that was exactly what made him curious about her, even though he didn’t feel the same she felt for him. 

“I have my own way of doing things” he cut short in the end.

Emily just nodded and she was about to walk away when she thought about something else.

“I’m sorry about this morning. You were right, I shouldn’t stick my nose in your life. Peace?” she asked showing him her little finger.

Arthur smiled again at that childish way to apologize and then murmured “peace” before he patted her on her shoulder and walked away.

...

Who knew what he was going to do around the country all alone for an indefinite number of days? Emily kept asking herself that, while she walked around camp again. Her feet brought her back to her tent where Karen and Mary-Beth were seated.

“Hi, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Mending socks” replied Mary-Beth. Then, she raised her look on Emily and frowned slightly.

“What have you been doing? Your hair is messy” she asked.

“Oh, I played with Jack. The brush is in your crate, right?” said Emily walking to the back of the wagon.

“Yes, always there.”

Emily opened Mary-Beth’s crate and took her hairbrush, which she had already used plenty of times in the previous days. It wasn’t something she was used to, use other people things, especially hairbrushes, but she had no choice. She returned to the front of the wagon and took a seat next to them.

“Uff, it’s not fair. Men can go around, drink, fight, do whatever they want, and we are forced to stay here and sew socks” complained Mary-Beth.

“Who said that? We can take a wagon and go to Valentine. Have some fun, meet some people…” replied Emily.

“Yeah, keep living in the dream land” said Karen with her usual sarcasm.

Emily put the brush down to look at her.

“We are free. Don’t let anyone ever tell you something different” she stated with the hardest tone she could use.

“Yeah, look at how much freedom we got.”

“What do you mean?” asked Mary-Beth.

“They don’t allow us to do anything apart from… clean, govern the house and lie on our backs for money. If that means freedom for you.”

Emily sighed. It was 1899, she always had to remind herself that.

“I guess you’re right. We can’t even vote” murmured Mary-Beth.

“Why you care about voting?” asked Karen.

“I don’t know, it’s one of the things I’d like to do.”

“Don’t worry, you will. And soon” said Emily with a big smile.

“Really? When?” exclaimed Mary-Beth while Karen scoffed.

Emily moved her eyes from one to the other.

“I don’t know if I should tell you.”

“Oh come on! It won’t make any difference if two people know” Mary-Beth encouraged her.

Emily leaned forward and made sign to her to do the same.

“1920” she whispered.

“So early! Really?”

“Yeah, of course” Karen snorted.

“Well, when we get to 1920 we’ll see who’s right. We’re all gonna make it to that year” Emily replied. 

Karen frowned and fixed her eyes on Emily’s face, who stared back at her.

“We?” she asked.

“Well, until I find a way to time-travel back to 2020 I don’t see I have much of a choice. And when all the things I say will happen, one after the other, even you will have to believe me.”

Emily smiled. She smiled not because she had cornered Karen, but because she thought that, if Karen started to believe her, they could’ve become friends, or at least she would stop to dislike her for no reason, and in time she’d be forced to believe her. 

“Anyway” said Karen shaking her head. “Even if we’ll get to vote, who will you vote for?” she asked to Mary-Beth.

“Well… I have no idea. When the time comes I’ll think about it” she answered.

“Who’s your president now?” asked Emily. She couldn’t remember.

“P. W. McIntosh” answered Karen. 

“Oh right.”

“What about 2020? Who’s the president?” asked Mary-Beth.

“Oh, she is a great woman. Just think that…”

“Wait. She?” exclaimed Karen. 

Both she and Mary-Beth were looking at her with their eyes wide open.

“Yes, she’s a woman. I told you, things are different in the future. No more discrimination.”

Emily was surprised by the fact that a woman president was shocking them so much. After all, they only had one hundred years of difference, how much could the minds change in one hundred years? Apparently, a lot.

“So, what we have to do if we want to go to Valentine?” she asked.

“We need a man with us” answered Mary-Beth.

“Oh gosh” she whispered. She didn’t like this patriarchal way to do things at all. 

“What if we want to go alone?”

“If we go alone, we go on foot” replied Karen.

“Why not with a wagon?”

“If they steal the wagon in town, it will be our fault. It already happened in the past” answered Mary-Beth.

“So, no wagon. Horses?”

The idea wasn’t appealing, but she would do anything to have a little independence.

“Same thing. If they steal one, we won’t be able to buy another” said Karen.

“And why should the presence of a man change things?”

“Because men are intimidated by other men, not women” replied Karen.

Her tone was so matter-of-factly, that Emily found nothing to reply. 

“Okay, okay. Who do you think is going to come with us?”

They thought of Charles or Javier. They seemed to be the fittest for the task. Emily suggested Uncle, but the two girls denied vigorously. Uncle was useless.

“Okay, I’ll go ask them” said Emily standing up.

“Now?” asked Mary-Beth.

“When else? We still have most of the day.”

“What about Miss Grimshaw?” asked Mary-Beth.

“We have to ask permission? We’re not working” stated Emily.

“She wants to know if we leave camp” replied Karen.

“Okay, I’ll ask her first. You two get ready. And ask Tilly if she wants to come” she yelled running away.

Emily found Miss Grimshaw behind Dutch’s tent, taking a break and admiring the landscape. She asked permission, trying not to sound begging and pathetic, and to her great surprise she didn’t object. Feeling light and a little thrilled by her success she hopped in the opposite direction again to reach the campfire where she had seen Javier. On her way she walked past Hosea, seated at the round table and reading a book.

“Why so happy, Miss Emily?” he asked as he noticed her big smile.

“I’m going to town!” she rejoiced.

“To do what?”

“Explore!”

Javier was sharping a little tiny knife when Emily reached him, and she got curious, so first of all she asked him what use might have such a small knife.

“It’s a throwing knife” he answered.

“You mean you throw it to people?”

Javier shrugged. 

“Of course. Erm… I wanted to ask you, would you come with us in town? The girls and I wanted to have a look around.”

“Just me and the four of you?”

“Do you need someone else? I was about to ask Charles.”

“Go ask him. I’ll get the wagon ready” he said standing up.

...

The girl smiled at him and her eyes sparkled. 

“Thank you, Javier. You’re really kind” she said with her light and childish voice. Then, she leaned forward and left a soft kiss on his cheek.

Javier watched at her slim figure as she walked away, feeling the piece of skin she had touched itching slightly. She had called him kind. People used to call him in many ways, but kind, never. She was crazy, no doubt about that, and naive, and quirky, but she was also the sweetest thing he had ever seen, and he couldn’t not think of her in the most innocent way because every other kind of thought, felt wrong. 

He took a couple of horses and tied them to a wagon, then he hopped in the back and waited for the rest of them to come. He heard them before he saw them. They were loud. Well, they were girls. That was going to be an adventure.

“Come on brother” he said to Charles as they both climbed at the leading place.

On the road to Valentine they listened quietly to the girls’ conversation, smiling or chuckling  every now and then. They were planning their time in town. Karen and Tilly wanted to go find some money, the new girl insisted for exploring the surroundings. 

“We’ll split up then. Charles, you go with Karen and Tilly at the saloon. I’m coming with you two. How does it sound?” asked Javier.

“Good” answered Mary-Beth.

“Do you think we should have asked Molly to come with us? Or Abigail maybe?” asked the new girl.

“Abigail would never leave Jack behind. Miss O’Shea fancies herself a society woman, she would’t have come” said Tilly. 

“What do you mean she fancies herself a society woman?”

“She believes she’s better than us because she’s with Dutch” replied Mary-Beth.

“Are they a couple?”

“Ah-ah” affirmed Tilly.

“So there are: Dutch and Molly, Abigail and John… some other couple?”

“Karen waits for Sean to come back” said Mary-Beth.

“If he’s still alive” murmured Karen lowering her eyes.

She missed that little piece of shit. She loved him, deep deep deep inside. She had never told him, and in case he was going to show up again, she had no intention to say it anyway, it would be too much for his already pompous ego.

...

“What about you girls?” asked Emily avoiding an embarrassing and sad silence.

“Us? With someone in camp?” asked Tilly, but her question was clearly rhetoric.

“Why not? I mean…”

Emily nodded towards Javier and Charles’s backs. The two girls shook their heads frowning slightly.

“Okay, so… everybody else is free?” she asked, but in her mind there was only one person she wanted to know about.

“Hosea had a wife once. She died long time ago, even before some of us were in the group” said Mary-Beth.

“And Arthur had that girl. What was her name?” asked Karen.

Emily’s heart lost a beat.

“Mary. I’ve never liked her” said Mary-Beth.

“W-why?” asked Emily trying to hide her disappointment.

“I think she left Arthur because she thinks to be better than him. She doesn’t deserve him.”

Emily felt immediately better. It was an old story, something of the past. And she had left him, so there was no chance for her return.

“What about you?” Tilly asked her.

“I had a boyfriend. We broke up some time ago because he left Saint Denis for work. I have no idea of what he’s doing now.”

“Couldn’t you go with him?” asked Mary-Beth.

“And leave my family and my job? For him? No, he wasn’t worth it.”

“Didn’t you love him?”

“Well, yes, but not that kind of love that makes you leave everything to follow him.”

“Then it wasn’t love.”

Mary-Beth’s statement outraged Emily. Of course it was love. She had loved him. Or not? If that wasn’t love, what was?

#rdr2 #red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption fanfiction #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x female oc #mary-beth gaskill #tilly jackson #karen jones #javier escuella #Charles Smith

[nearlymanaged]

4. Remus’ Secret

It had been a couple of weeks since Sirius had come out to his friends, but Moony still hadn’t flung himself into his arms, confessing unbridled attraction. If anything, he seemed more distant now. Almost as distant as he used to get every month before Sirius, James, and Peter found out about his furry little secret. They did have quite different schedules this year that sometimes caused them to not run into each other for half a day, but Remus’ strange coldness seemed to go beyond that.

Sirius was starting to feel a little hurt, thinking that maybe Remus wasn’t as okay with him being bisexual as he claimed, so he confronted him about it one evening in the common room. It turned out to be a rather anticlimactic exchange since Remus assured him, quite convincingly, that it was completely ridiculous of Sirius to even think that. He said he was simply tired all the time since they had come back to Hogwarts and then made some stupid joke about being ready for death to take him.

This particular evening he seemed perfectly energised and happy while doing homework with Evans in the corner of the common room. Sirius was sitting in one of the prime armchairs in front of the fireplace with James and Peter, and if he hadn’t been so preoccupied with repeatedly stealing glances at Moony and Evans, he would have seen that James was doing the same thing.

“Since when is Moony such good friends with Evans?” Peter unknowingly voiced what they were all thinking when the sound of Remus and Lily’s laughter filled the room momentarily.

“Nerd solidarity, I suppose,” Sirius mumbled, watching Remus push the sleeves of his jumper up, seemingly oblivious to how unexpectedly attractive that was.

“I never realised Ancient Runes homework was that much fun,” James mumbled, pouting slightly.

“Are you jealous, Prongs?” Sirius asked, a tickled grin spreading across his face.

“Aw, he is! Prongs is jealous!” Cackled Peter.

Just then, Remus walked over to them, still beaming. “Prongs is…” He glanced back at Lily over his shoulder. “Prongs is jealous?”

“No, I’m not,” James folded his arms over his chest, which didn’t help make his statement any more convincing.

“How curious,” Remus said brightly and made himself comfortable on the couch next to Peter while Sirius draped himself across the armchair, his head hanging off the side.

“D’you know what? I’m jealous too.” He looked over at Remus with a smirk.

“That’s messed up, Sirius. Lily’s the mother of James’ future children.”

“Who said anything about Evans?” Sirius locked eyes with Remus, that same smile still playing on his lips. For a second, Black thought he saw Moony blush, but he couldn’t tell whether it was just the flickering fire light playing tricks. Moony scrunched his eyebrows and turned away to point at the notice board.

“Did you lot see that? Hogsmeade dates have been posted.”

“Yeah, first one’s in a couple of weeks.” Peter nodded. “I’ve thought about this, and I think the best thing for me to do is ask Lydia if she wants to meet up in Three Broomsticks. Then she won’t feel like she has to spend the whole day with me...but if she wanted to, she could.”

“Wormtail.” Sirius impatiently propped himself back up. “Why wouldn’t she want to spend the day with you? You need to have more confidence, mate.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“No, it’s not. You think it was easy for me to listen to my dear mother list all the ways in which I’m a disappointment for years?”

“I didn’t mean--”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just saying, you can’t please everyone, but you can’t let that get to you. Lydia seems pretty interested in you, and even if it doesn’t work out in the end, well...c'est la vie,” Sirius ended his little pep talk with a shrug and Peter went back to his essay, looking slightly more bewildered than before.

“Anyway,” Remus enunciated slowly. “Perfect timing, I have just about enough chocolate to last me two weeks.”

* * *

The heavy clouds above the castle seemed to be turning a darker shade of grey every day, and the sixth years were becoming more and more stressed with every lesson. Now that Remus had positively become friends with Lily Evans, he was thanking his lucky stars for it. He strongly suspected he might have lost his mind without someone to do Ancient Runes homework with.

He also noticed that Lily didn’t mind being in James’ immediate vicinity as much anymore, and James in turn had halted his incessant hitting on her for the time being. Remus had also noticed that Sirius hadn’t been spotted snogging or asking anyone out in quite a while; in fact, it hadn’t happened once since the beginning of term. He couldn’t help but harbour a secret hope that it would go on indefinitely and then he wouldn’t have to pretend that seeing Sirius with someone else didn’t bother him.

Although realistically, he didn’t really count on that. Especially since Sirius had come out about being bisexual. That just meant that now Sirius could choose out of twice the amount of people who were more attractive than his boring old friend.

Still, Remus could not refrain from coming up with imaginary scenarios in his head, in which Sirius would ask him out or confess his feelings for him, or kiss him… Initially, completely against his own will, Remus let his hopes go up just a tiny bit (that’s when the daydreaming started in full force), so he started avoiding Padfoot as a means of self preservation. That hadn’t lasted very long though, because Sirius interpreted that as Remus having a problem with him and confronted him about it...

This particular morning, a few days before the Hogsmeade trip, saw the castle brutally whipped by ice-cold rain. It was looking like their Saturday was going to be spent sipping butterbeer indoors instead of wandering around the village.

“You’ve got jam on your face, did you know?” Sirius grabbed a napkin without missing a beat, leaned over the breakfast-laden table, and dabbed the corner of Remus’ mouth. “There you go, skip along now, my love.”

Remus, who had just announced that he needed to leave to make it to Ancient Runes on time, felt his ears go ablaze, the colour spreading to his cheeks. He wasn’t sure why it startled him so much. Surely, Sirius would have done the same to either James or Peter, wouldn’t he have? That was just how he was. “Right,” Remus cleared his throat, gathering his composure. “I’ll see you lot at lunch then.”

“Wait up, Lupin!” Lily caught up with him in the middle of the entrance hall. “So I’ve noticed…” She began brightly, yet hesitantly but then trailed off. “Are...are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, what do you mean…” Remus tried to sound normal, very aware that he was still blushing. “What have you noticed?”

“Nothing. How did you get on with the Einang stone essay?”

They talked about their homework all the way to the sixth floor, but Remus couldn’t shake off the feeling that Lily was going to say something about the scene at breakfast. He wasn’t even sure that Peter and James had noticed it, but he had gathered by now that Lily was a lot more perceptive than most people. Plus, she kept giving him strange looks all throughout the Ancient Runes lesson and then it continued on the very windy grounds (it had stopped raining), during Care of Magical Creatures.

“Obviously, you don’t need to answer if you don’t want to, but...” Lily began, her voice ever so gentle, while they were making detailed sketches of fwoopers with notes about all their magical properties. “But can I ask you something personal?”

“You can ask, yes.”

“Do you like boys?”

Remus stared at her with a mixture of surprise and horror, until he felt a sharp pain in his hand - he had squeezed the little bird he was using for reference so tightly that it pecked at his flesh angrily. “Why-- Why do you ask?” He tried to sound politely surprised as he shook his hand in the air.

“Please don’t get upset with me,” Lily was gazing at him tentatively with her brow furrowed now. “I’ve noticed a while ago now, sometime last year… And then lately, since you and I... I couldn’t help it, really. I’ve seen the way you look at him, when you think that no one’s watching…”

Remus felt a strange mixture of his heart sinking and feel lighter all at once. Now that someone else knew, it felt like that would make it easier to carry this secret around, somehow. He blankly stared at his half finished sketch for a moment before speaking in a low, determined voice. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“You have my word.”

“Not that it matters anyway,” he added before he could stop himself.

“How do you mean? Is it because you’ve been friends for so long?”

“Well that too, but… I mean, look at me,” he laughed out uncomfortably rather with a roll of his eyes.

“Yes, I am…?”

“I’m about as exciting as Binns’ lessons, with a sweet bonus of ugly scars.”

Remus was surprised by how open he was with Lily. Curiously, it was really easy to talk to her about it. He’d shared so many secrets, confessions, and pains with his three friends, that sometimes he felt like he had maxed out, like he didn’t want to trouble them with any more of his problems. But it was different with Lily, perhaps because they were just becoming friends.

“I don’t think that about you at all, if you care to know,” she informed him, a strange spark lighting up her eyes. “I’ve grown to like you a lot lately and I can objectively say that you are tenfold better than what you seem to think about yourself.”

“You’re only saying that because you thought my friends and I were enormous pricks for years,” Remus smirked at her, feeling his heart grow to twice its size in his chest. “That’s a low bar.”

“Thought?” Lily grinned devilishly, making them both laugh. “Seriously, the more I’m getting to know you, the more I feel like maybe your friends can’t be all that awful after all. You are a beautiful person, Remus. You are!” She added when he rolled his eyes again.

“Sure, Evans.”

“I’ve heard he’s into boys too.” Lily ignored Lupin’s retort and then her face split into an excited smile.

Remus rolled his eyes once more… And yet, he couldn’t help but feel happier and lighter for the rest of the day, even when it started raining again towards the end of Cary of Magical Creatures.

#wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #lily evans #peter pettigrew #marauders #hogwarts #fanfic

[tailah-haderson-gilbert]

Day 31/31 of writing everyday

IT’S THE LAST DAY!!!! I can’t believe I made it, 31 days straight of writing, wow.  thank you so much for reading because it kept me going.  I also have some shoutouts to my 2 biggest supporters @morathicain and @brittney-jade they have been with me since the beginning and thank you guys so much xx

Today’s is some more from the Sit Down Universe and then a little paragraph that came to me and it’s in honour of me finishing this, but exaggerated.  816 words today, that’s gotta be my best! 

Disclaimer: swearing and mentions of being in a dungeon for a long period of time plus trauma from being in the said dungeon.

P.S. I didn’t edit these, wow this is the last time I’m writing that. This is weird. 

This was it, the day she had been waiting for forever! She was finally free, free to live and do as she wanted. But how come she didn’t feel that way? Why didn’t this make her feel anything? Shouldn’t this have some sort of special feel to it, you would think so. But after doing it for so long it becomes second nature, even when you don’t want to do it.

Although she is going to be done with it, why does it feel like a loss at the same time? Is it because it has been all she had even known? Losing something you have done your whole life is like losing something that makes you who you are. Like leaving school, or moving out of home, it’s bitter sweet.

Sit Down Universe

Although it was dungy and dirty it was a step up from where he was living. He got breakfast and dinner, had somewhere to sleep and no one was trying to kill him. Plus he could look at and take to Isaac everyday.

It was almost like a really crappy holiday where he wasn’t allowed outside.

At first it was rough, it was groundhog day. It was exactly the same and there was nothing to do except stare at walls. But eventually Adien made it work, he added in work outs and certain times were dedicated to certain conversations. He has learnt so much more about Isaac and he has shared so much back, he now knows as much as Seyda, which is scary.

He needed to keep in shape since he was going to go back to being Syeda’s guard again, so he trained, before breakfast and dinner, and he has to say, he’s definitely looking a lot better. It’s ironic, he needed to be charged of murder to be put back in the right direction of his life. That and he is getting more food and looking after himself better now than he did before.

Though he is worried about Isaac, He has become quieter over the months. Adien doesn’t like it, he was always the one to light up the room and now he thinks being here has dulled him. Because there is only room for one dull person in this relationship, and that's himself, you know since he lost his parents and was practically homeless half his life.

Adien needs to find a way to get Issac to talk about the present because the more he talks about the past, the worse it becomes. He thinks of those happier times and the realisation of where he is hits him.

This is why he didn’t want him to come forward, he couldn’t survive in a place like this and Adien knew it from the start. Now Isaac is going to be a changed man and he is going to need a lot of help to work through the trauma when they get out.

He crawls over to the bars separation the two of them and sits down, a deep breath in and then he speaks up

“Hey Isaac” they have been allowed to talk but it can’t be loud, which he reasons is fair enough, this is meant to be a punishment. “ Isaac, Babe, can we talk? Please?” Adien’s afraid that he is so nervous that Isaac can’t hear him but then he catches movement. It’s small but he saw it. If Isaac didn’t want to talk that’s fine, he would at least say what he had too.

“You know I...” deep breath “you know I love you right?” they haven’t said this to each other really, it happened the night this all went to shit but that was it

“I’m sorry you got dragged into my mess but I’m incredibly grateful for you coming forward otherwise i’d be stuck in here for a very long time” It may be decent but that doesn’t mean he wants to spend years and year here.

“I knew this would hit you harder, you come from a life where you were relatively safe, you never had to worry too much about food and you had your parents. I didn’t want to rip you away from that but now that you’ve been through this i’m not giving up on you or us. We’re still stuck together indefinitely” he chuckles and sees Isaac’s shoulder move slightly, that makes him smile

“You don’t have to talk to me now or even soon but i’m here for you. We will be out of here soon so we can then focus on recovery and proving that just because we love each other we don’t have magic” Adien still couldn’t get over how this happened, how could someone think that just because you love the same gender that you get magic powers?

He hears a breath being blown out and holds his own, hoping Isaac will speak.

“I love you too”

AHHHHH, I’m officially done. Crap, I don’t know what to say or do? I hope you guys will sick around because even though I won’t be posting everyday I'm still going to try and do more writing and stuff.  I wrote for a month straight and don’t have anything better to put than stuff. Yeah maybe don’t stick around, lol. Anyway, See you whenever I guess. *Me waving with a big smile*

Day 30 - Master list

#my500words #tailahs31daychallenge #the end #finished #sit down universe