“Did you wash your hair yesterday?”
“Then I want you to wash it tonight.”
Taemin whines and groans and flops over on the couch. It’s another Friday night of sleeping at Luna and Onew’s - both his parents were working late and had called Luna at five o’ clock to say Taemin needed to stay with her that night.
“Do I have to take a shower?” Taemin whines.
“Yes,” Luna laughs. “Why are boys so gross? Go take a shower!”
“We haven’t even had dinner yet!”
“Taemin,” Luna sighs, leaning over the back of the couch to look at him. “If I so nicely let you play your little game until dinnertime, will you promise to take a shower and wash your hair as soon as you’re done eating? With no arguing?”
“It’s a deal then,” she says. “And you better eat all your vegetables.”
“That wasn’t part of the deal.”
“I’m making it part of the deal.”
Taemin whines and huffs and pouts, but he doesn’t argue. He just keeps playing the Pokémon game he got back a week ago.
An hour later, Taemin is huffing and stomping down the hall in his pajamas, his hair wet and dripping on the collar of his shirt.
“I don’t like your bathroom,” he whines, flopping back on the couch to sit with Luna. “It’s too small!”
“You are so spoiled it’s unbelievable.”
“What’s that s’posed to mean?” He whines, pouting at her.
“You’re too young to be complaining that my very normal sized second bathroom is too small. Little kids shouldn’t be so spoiled like you are with big giant en suite bathrooms.”
“It’s not like you didn’t have the same kinda bathroom when you were little,” Taemin scoffs. Luna only laughs.
“And just what gave you that idea?”
Taemin only looks confused.
“It’s - It’s Daddy’s house,” he stammers.
“Yeah, it is now,” Luna says gently. She smiles at him, laughs a little again, and tries not to make him feel bad. She can tell he’s confused, she doesn’t want to make it worse. “But when I was little, Daddy and my mommy lived in a different house.”
“Oh,” Taemin mumbles. “Was it not the same kinda house?”
“No, it was more like this house.”
“Oh. How come?”
“Well.” It’s Luna’s turn to stutter, not quite sure how to explain. “Daddy didn’t used to make as much money as he does now, so he couldn’t afford it.”
Now Taemin just looks more confused.
“Wasn’t Daddy always a lawyer?”
“Yeah, no matter what job you have, you never make as much at the beginning as you do once you’ve been doing it for a while.”
“What did your mommy do?”
Luna smiles and hugs him close to her, “She was a nurse, like me. She still is. You know that, you’ve met her.”
Taemin hums, and he leans against her side. She thinks he’s done with the questions fornthe night, so she tries to focus what’s on TV. And they’re both quiet for a while, just sitting on the couch together. But then Taemin’s questions start again.
“What was your mommy like when you were little?” he asks, his voice quiet.
Luna takes in a deep breath, trying to think.
“She was so fun when I was little,” she tells him. “We used to make blankets a lot, like the ones I make for you at Christmas still. And you know, Daddy used to work really late all the time even back then.”
She hugs him a little tighter and rubs her fingers through his still-wet hair, trying to comfort him.
“And sometimes, my mom and I would make Daddy his favorite desserts and bring them to the office so he knew we missed him.”
“Brownies?” Taemin asks, looking up at her.
“Brownies,” Luna confirms, smiling. “And sometimes lemon bars - during the summer - and sometimes cupcakes and sometimes cookies. Things he could eat in the office easily.”
Taemin laughs a little bit, and he’s got a big smile on this face. And it gives Luna an idea, and she grins back at him.
“Do you want to help me make some brownies, and we can go take them to Daddy and your mommy?”
“Can we?” Taemin asks, turning towards her. “Is it too late?”
“It’s only 6:30,” Luna hums. “I think it’d be okay. So do you want to?”
After an hour spent giggling and licking whisks and taking taste tests, Luna is ushering taemin out to the car with the Tupperware full of still-warm brownies. He has a jacket on over his pajamas and his feet were shoved into his shoes, his heels crushing the backs. He’s so excited, Luna is watching him through the rear-view mirror, and he’s just got a big silly smile on his face. His mother is their father’s main secretary, it’s how they met. While it slightly bothers Luna, she knows Taemin doesn’t really realize what that means.
She regrets coming up with this idea almost immediately, however. As soon as they step through the door to their father’s firm, Luna can hear giggling and other explicit noises coming from his office. But it’s clear there’s more than just Taemin’s mother inside.
“Ew, are Mommy and Daddy kissing?” Taemin asks loudly, making a disgusted noise. “You said they were working!”
“I think they’re busy,” Luna says quickly, steering Taemin back out of the room.
“But the brownies,” Taemin says softly, gripping the Tupperware.
“Um, here,” Luna says. “We can leave them on your Monmy’s desk, and you can leave a note. Okay? I think they’re working on something important, so let’s go quickly.”
“It’s not the same,” Taemin mumbles, but he puts the brownies in his mom’s desk, leaves a note on a spare piece of paper that says From Taemin and Luna ♥️ in Taemin’s messy handwriting.
Luna doesn’t think they even heard them come in. It disgusts her, but she doesn’t let Taemin see. After getting home and telling Taemin to head to bed, she has a very heated discussion with Onew in their bedroom, trying to keep her voice low.
“A threesome!” She gasps, pulling back the bed covers and moving pillows around. “They asked us to watch him because they’re too busy having a threesome! With his other secretary! She’s younger than I am, Onew!”
“I know,” he sighs. “But there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s just a good thing you didn’t let Taemin see anything.”
“God, can you imagine? He’s nine-years-old! He’s nine, Onew! And his parents are out having a threesome with some twenty-five-year-old!”
They hadn’t even heard the door creak open, hadn’t seen Taemin inch inside and hug the door until he mumbles, “What’s a threesome?”
“Taemin!” Luna gasps, her eyes wide as she turns to him. Meanwhile, Onew looks like a deer in headlights.
“What is it?” Taemin asks, still gripping the doorknob and fidgeting from foot to foot. “Is it bad?”
“No,” Luna says carefully, clearing her throat. “Um, Onew, why don’t you explain?”
Onew glares at her a bit, annoyed that she’s passing it off to him.
“Well,” Onew starts and it’s his turn to clear his throat. He also waves Taemin over, trying to get him away from hugging the door. “You know how when a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much-”
“Are you gonna start talking about sex?” Taemin whines. “Why?”
“How do you know what sex is?” Onew snaps.
“‘Cause we had family life class last month,” Taemin scoffs. “I know how babies are made, I paid attention!”
“Oh really now?” Onew asks, laughing a bit. “Explain it to me, then.”
“Yeah, the guy puts his penis inside her, they kiss or something, and then nine months later the lady poops a baby out her vagina,” Taemin explains. “Which is just a girl butthole, I don’t get why it has a special name.”
Luna and Onew, meanwhile, are cracking up. It’s a terrible, horrible, and inappropriate situation, but listening to Taemin’s explanation of sex is just too much.
“I think your teacher needs to be better evaluated,” Onew laughs.
Taemin still looks confused, but Luna just waves Taemin closer and hugs him, pulling him down on the bed.
“Why’re you laughing?” Taemin whines, falling on the bed next to her.
“Because you’re too funny,” she says softly.
“They’re not making a baby, are they?” he whines, suddenly looking very upset. “I don’t want another brother or sister! You’re enough!”
Luna would laugh if she wasn’t so horrified about the whole situation.
“I don’t think they’re making another baby,” Luna says, trying to calm him down.
“But what’s a threesome?” Taemin mumbles. “Why won’t you tell me? Why were they doing it?”
“It’s a grown-up thing, sweetie.”
“If you don’t tell me I’ll just Google it later.”
“Do not Google it,” Luna says in a firm voice. “Do you understand? It’s inappropriate.”
“What is it?” he whispers. “Tell me.”
“It’s,” She stutters, trying to look to Onew. He just shrugs. “It’s when three people have sex instead of just two.”
He looks beyond confused, and Luna thinks it would be almost funny if it wasn’t simultaneously destroying her baby brother’s innocence.
“I don’t know,” she tells him. “It’s not something I’ve ever done.”
“Is it not normal?”
“I think these are questions you’re still too young for,” she says gently. “I think it’s time you went to bed.”
“You said they were working,” he mumbles, fiddling with a blanket. “That that was why I’m spending the night at your house.”
“They are working, sweetie,” Luna says, smoothing back his hair. “Daddy has a very important case right now, and your mommy is helping him.”
“Is a threesome a case?” he snaps, pouting at her. He looks almost mad, and Luna doesn’t blame him.
“No, it’s not,” she admits. “But we don’t know that they aren’t still working.”
“I wanna go home,” he whispers, moving to hide his face in her neck.
“I know,” she whispers back. Then she smiles and tries to tease him, “But you’re stuck with us for now.”
“I think it’s time for bed,” Onew says softly.
“Come on,” Luna says, helping Taemin sit up with her. “I’ll come tuck you in, okay?”
“I’m not little anymore,” Taemin mumbles. “You don’t have’ta tuck me in.”
“Well I want to,” she teases. “Humor me.”
She brings him into the extra bedroom he stays in when he’s with them, pulls back the covers, and kneels down next to the bed.
“Hey Taeminnie,” she says gently, smoothing back his hair. “When you go home tomorrow, do you think you can do something for me?”
“I think it would be best if you didn’t mention any of this threesome stuff to your parents.”
“Because most grown-ups don’t like talking about that sort of stuff with kids. It’s inappropriate.”
“If it’s inappropriate, then why were they doing it?”
“Sweetie,” Luna sighs, tucking his hair behind his ears. “It’s just inappropriate to talk about it with kids, is all.”
“When I’m older, will you tell me why it’s not okay to talk to them about it?” He whispers, playing with the blanket on his bed.
“I’ll tell you all about it when you’re older,” she says. “I promise. When you’re a teenager, I’ll tell you. Okay?”
“What kinda teenager?” he asks. “When I’m thirteen?”
“Eighteen,” she insists. “Now go to sleep, okay? I’ll make you anything you want for breakfast in the morning.”
“Will you stay a little longer?” he whispers, one his hands gripping hers. “Til I fall asleep?”
“Yeah,” she agrees. “I’ll stay as long as you want.”
Taemin is still pouting, still looks sad, but he flips on his side so he’s facing her and tries to go to sleep. Luna rubs his arm softly, tries to lull him to sleep as best she can. He falls asleep after about twenty minutes, but she stays about ten minutes more. Until Onew comes in to check on them, and he brings her back to bed.
Luna is beyond upset. What was supposed to be a sweet, adorable evening spent with her little brother so quickly turned into something horrifying out of a bad daytime TV movie. And now her baby brother is asking about threesomes and talking about sex and it breaks her heart. She doesn’t know what to do about it.
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