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#Leigh I’m begging
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More titles of Grishaverse essays I'm yet to write
Last time I did this I called it "essays I'll probably never write" and then ended up writing all of them lol, so stay tuned and let me know if there's any in particular you want to hear :)
The manipulation of corrupt governments and the abuse of Grisha in both Fjerda and Ravka as shown through the presentation of Nina Zenik and Matthias Helvar (this post has been in my drafts for a while and I kind of covered this in a long rant about Nina recently but I’d love to do it properly)
The importance of Fruszi in season 2 of Shadow and Bone; her presentation, her parallels with Zoya, her parallels with Inej (and the subsequent parallels created between the Darkling and Tante Heleen), her parallels with Genya, and the relevance of her character to the arc of the show. (I have a lot of thoughts about Fruszi and this one might end up being included in the minor character analysis series (if I ever get myself together and start it) even though that’s really going to be focusing on the six of crows books)
The importance of the Komedie Brute in Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom as devices of both plot and character, particularly with the interpretation of Mr Crimson as an omen of death. (I know I technically already wrote this one, but I did it a long time ago as two separate posts and I’ve had a lot more thoughts about it since so I really want to combine them and rewrite it all as one)
My personal take on what the global landscape of the Grishaverse would look like if parem had become a global resource (I have thoughts - and a lot of them are about how much I hate the Kerch government)
The importance of denying certain important characters a name (eg Inej’s parents, and Matthias’ parents and sister) and why this is both heartbreaking and literary genius (firstly, you may have noticed I’ve given up on making my titles sound academic, and secondly I have started writing this one so yeah it may come soon if anyone would be interested)
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kining-the-evil · 2 months
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Rumors that Leigh Whannell might be back in some capacity for saw 11 are apparently going around. It could be as writer or director but like…
Please I need that sopping wet rat named Adam to come back. I neeeeedd him please!
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cosmicjiver · 1 year
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Wylan Van Eck you will always be iconic
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derrydeer · 1 year
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people are saying saw 10 possibly takes place either before the first movie or between 1 and 2 from john’s perspective and all i can say is…
BRING ADAM STANHEIGHT BACK TO ME!!
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cameliawrites · 1 year
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oh my god Leigh put the content clock on her latest Instagram reel and if this means we’re FINALLY getting s&b news in the next couple days… 🙏🏻🙏🏻
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madigoround · 2 years
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I think I’m physically incapable of moving on from page 527, I’ve been staring at it for 20 minutes
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waystar-royco · 1 year
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choosing to believe that the reason shadow and bone season 2 sped through the six of crows/crooked kingdom plot is because one of the 12 new books bardugo just made a deal to write is a new crows book and they’re getting the show caught up in time to have the new book be the source material for their spin off
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Don't leave me... I'll stay (Loki)
Summary: After an argument causes a rift between Loki and Y/N, the day is spent ignoring the other until Y/N decides to spend the night away from Loki.
Warning: Angst? i dunno what else to put in but angst eheheh. long maybe? this is a very long fic eheheh. ohh and another thing is that this may be prone to mistakes as i dont have anybody to proof this so... ehehhe
Note: eheheeh the liar has finally posted what was promised, precisely a month late or later. eheheh sorry to those who waited, school has taken a lot of my time, I barely open my laptop to work and im rarely here anymore but i've got until the monday off so lets see what i'll do with that eheheh
The context is vague, I apologize but i am complete rubbish at this. at everything really, including writing so eheheh. To those brave souls that braved this whole thing, Thank you! so very deeply, from the bottom of my heart for even showing the slightest bit of interest in my rubbish ideas. Hope you like it and im stopping myself from going any further and prolonging this intro ehehhe, Enjoy!😊
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‘No Loki! Just because I have this disease, doesn’t mean you have the right to keep me locked up like some sort of china. I am able to do just about everything I could before I told you and you have no right telling me what I can or cannot do’ you countered his argument but being stubborn, neither of you relented nor ceased.
You were now second guessing whether it was right or not, telling him about the chronic illness you were diagnosed with, but you knew that you did the right thing if you wanted this relationship to have a good foundation. The reaction however… was not how you thought things would go.
It was simple at first. Barely noticeable and could have been mistaken as added doting to his already caring nature with you but overtime, it became more and more obvious how he was setting up these restrictions you never would have agreed on. It only grew ridiculous, and you would have allowed the passive ones, but this was the final straw.
Your patience had worn thin over the entirety of the argument however, as comments grew more rash and the final ‘disapproval’ of your oncoming task was remarked, you snapped. He had no right to restrict you of activities and tasks he thinks are too much for your condition and it only insulted and hurt you to think that he thought you so frail and weak that even simple chores were too much.
‘I am going on this mission, whether you “approve” or not, because just telling you was out of courtesy. I refuse to be told of my restrictions by anyone besides myself. I would have understood your concerns if the situation were more grave, but for the love of God, it’s a simple data extraction.’ You exasperated, growing tired of fighting about something you know he won’t fold on.
‘In an abandoned Hydra base!’ he pointed out, choosing not to acknowledge how you outright dismissed his concern, no matter how much it hurt. ‘You know of the dangers that lurk in those retched lairs and often times there are still those who patrol the premises. You do remember when Rogers and Romanoff were attacked during their little escapade in Camp Leigh, do you not?’
‘Of course, I remember, I’m not a moron’ you snide, glaring daggers at the raven-haired god and you were just about to justify how Barnes was going with you however the comment he let out was the final pull on the thinned thread.
‘Well, you certainly are acting like one’ he mumbled without thinking, turning away. He thought it was low enough so you wouldn’t hear but he thought wrong.
‘I beg your pardon?!’ you all but screeched out of fury. Loki flinched before he turned at the high pitch and fury, he heard from you. He saw the outraged his comment caused in your eyes. The fire that burned in those beautiful orbs of yours was terrifying however, what truly frightened him was how you took a breath, calming yourself and before he could so much as apologize, rolled your eyes and turned away.
‘I’m done’ you raised your hands in surrender, turning your back to him.
‘What do you mean you’re done?’ he asked as fear of losing you threatened his being. You mean everything to him and just the very thought of losing you and him being the very reason you were gone… it opened a holocaust in his mind.
‘This conversation, I am done. I’m ending it before either of us say something or does more damage that there already is’ you yield, busying yourself with tidying up the files you had splayed out all over the floor.
Relief flooded his senses before guilt quickly bore fruit.
He watched as you packed up your work and strode out of the room. It took him a minute, but he followed you out and once he finally reached the living room, he met the sight of you slipping on your trainers and throwing your gadgets, wallet and keys in your bag before moving to the door and slamming it shut.
He stood frozen in the threshold of the hall as he processed what happened. All he wanted was to keep you safe. Never did he think that things would go this bad.
You stormed out of the flat and went to the compound for the briefing you had with Bucky. It was scheduled for tomorrow, but you just could not stay in the flat, not with him, not at the moment. You needed a cool head and quite frankly, yours was blazing.
You called Barnes to reschedule, which he agreed to but before he could ask why, you had already hung up. You needed to calm down, seriously.
You took a scenic route around the city before heading to the facility. You parked at the car park and turned off the vehicle before you let your head fall on the steering wheel. Loki’s’ words really stung but in his own way, you knew he meant well. He loved you but it felt demeaning to be confined to one place or to be babied. You are a grown woman; this disease may affect you in some way but you wouldn’t let it define and control your life like its slowly doing to Loki.
You took your phone to look at the time and was greeted with lock screen background of you and Loki cuddling, fast asleep. Someone from the team took the picture to spite Loki but you found it adorable and set it on your phone. It brought a small grin to your lips until you got a message from Barnes saying which conference room was being used for the quick briefing. You sighed, taking your bag before exiting the car and heading in the building.
The briefing was quick. Only about the layout of the base, where to go and what to take. You were in and out in possibly ten minutes, but you longed for it to be longer. You didn’t want to go home yet so you stayed for a chat with the others, talking to Wanda about her relationship, discussing with Bruce the project he was working on before you went and left with a goodbye, heading for the shops for dinner prep and a bit of groceries, taking your time in each aisle to pass the minute until you really had to go home.
Loki had texted Thor after you left, asking if you were at the compound. It took a bit for his brother to respond but eventually he replied with ‘Barnes says she’s on her way for a meeting’. He felt relieved to at least know where you are, knowing you were safe and not alone somewhere. 
Hours passed until he heard your keys on the front door, the metal snake keychain giving a distinct clink with the rest of your keys. He looked to the door from where he sat on the living room, watching as you trudged in the brown bags of groceries. You kicked the door closed and placed the bags in the kitchen bench, never sparing him a look. He could sense that you didn’t want to be around him, he could always sense it. He’s had years of experience with being ignored nor wanted. He knew when to take his leave, so he left for the bedroom, never sparing you a sound of his departure.
You saw Loki on the chaise when you walked in. You blatantly ignored him, but he was on the couch. The only indication you got that he left was when you heard the bedroom door close. You were fixing everything you had bought to the cupboards and the pantry when you just heard the soft click of the door closing. You felt bad with how distant you two were being but what stung more is that he couldn’t bear to be in the same room as you that he had to leave. You wanted to make things right. You were thinking of things to say as you put away the vegetables, but he seemed to want the opposite.
You put everything away and started making supper, finishing an hour or two later. Loki still hasn’t left the bedroom, though you did hear the shower run a few minutes prior, so you ate by yourself, wallowing in your thoughts about the mission and Loki.
Your bowl was half gone when he emerged from the room and moved to where you were eating on the table. You had prepared him a bowl, which now sat at the other end of the table. You weren’t talking to each other, but you still care and love him. The soup had gone a bit cold, but it was there, and he sat and ate it anyways.
Both of you stayed silent, neither breaking the silence as the tension grew thick. You quickly finished the rest of your meal before standing abruptly to start cleaning up. You let the bowl rinse and soak in the sink while you stored the leftovers in a container and to the fridge. You had put more than enough on his bowl, so you were sure he wouldn’t be asking for seconds. You quickly washed the dishes whilst he ate while reading his book. He was nearly done when you left the kitchen and proceeded to the bathroom.
He let out a sigh and dropped his book when he heard the shower running. He has been staring at the very same paragraph over and over but not once has he actually paid attention to the text let alone understood it. He was hoping to break the ice between you two, but he froze, missing his chance.
He rinsed his own dish and made sure everything was good and locked up before he went back to the bedroom, preparing to go to bed.
You came out a few minutes later, steam billowing from the ensuite and following you. Your hair was wrapped up in a towel, your body clad in the oversized jumper you adored, with a nightie underneath. You still refused to acknowledge him as you made your way to the closet, grabbing a spare comforter.
This got Loki’s attention and was what broke the silence of the room, really the silence you have both established since the argument earlier.
‘What are you doing?’ he asked as he stopped fluffing the pillow in his hold. Your pillow.
‘I have a few case files to read and paperwork to do so… I’m staying in the living room’ you stated, hardly with any emotion, tugging at the comforter from the top shelf.
‘And the need for a blanket?’ he questioned again, looking over your well bundled figure. The sweater you had was thick and big enough to cover your legs if you were truly that cold, he knew that and the fact that you only use blankets whenever you were going to sleep.
‘It’s likely I’ll fall asleep on the couch so I’m preparing for the inevitable. To put it bluntly, I’m sleeping on the couch’ you say, finally turning around to see him holding your pillow before you moved to leave the room.
All Loki could do was nod, clenching his jaw as his hands dropped your pillow and watch as you left the room. He couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t will his lips to move in protest and just accepted what was going to happen. He didn’t want to force you seeing how that went earlier, so he let it… you, go do what you wish. He didn’t want to lose you and he’d do anything and everything to avoid that.
He got cleaned up in the bathroom before he went to bed. He couldn’t sleep and for hours he’s spent it staring up at the ceiling. Once he'd learned to sleep with you by his side, it was harder now to do so without you and the lingering thoughts of your fight earlier kept him company.
It took a while before the fatigue finally succumbed to him, his mind too tired to do anything that it finally forfeited and let him rest.
You on the other hand, haven’t slept at all. Not a wink of it. You spent a bit writing up some reports and looking over at some case files but after you found that you couldn’t focus, you packed everything up and tried to get some sleep. Tried. You really did but as tired as your body was, your mind worked wonders in keeping you up.
The fight you had was your fore thought, mainly the look in Loki’s eyes when you said you weren’t sleeping in the same room as him. He always tried to look impassive in front of others but with you, his eyes held so many expressions of love and adoration, you saw none of that as he held your pillow.
You felt bad leaving him alone. The gesture alone of fixing your side of the bed was heart-warming, that it made you feel like a monster when you saw the look he gave you. Of absolute disappointment? It wasn’t the right word, but you felt like you took the one good thing he had and crushed it in front of him.
You tried to stave off such thoughts, thinking of your task for tomorrow and such but it wasn’t any use. Your mind was going miles per minute, and you just couldn’t keep up. You stayed on the couch for hours, laying on the furniture as your eyes stayed transfixed on a spiderweb on the ceiling. You grew restless overtime so the idea of making tea came to mind.
You thought it a good idea for a cup to help you, so you finally got up. You took the towel you used from the coffee table and hung it on a chair as you turned the kettle on. You grabbed a cup from the drying rack and dropped the bag of chamomile you got from the jar, as you waited for the water to boil.
It was then you heard a whimper. It came fast and low, you were beginning to think that you imagined it when you heard it again. You left the cup sitting on the counter as you went to investigate, looking all around the open space of the flat until it finally registered to you that it was coming from the bedroom.
Loki…
Fast steps quickly took you to the door of the room, which was left open and from where you stood, you heard his cries clearly. The room, gloomy when you entered had scarcely any light. The only source came from the dim lighting from the hall and the sliver of moonlight seeping through the curtains, but it was enough to help you at least see figures.
You moved to the general area of where the bed was and there you saw his figure, trembling slightly. From what you saw as your eyes further adjusted to the darkness, he laid on his side, his shirt damp with sweat, his face glistening and his hair sticking all over his neck and cheeks. He had a pillow in his hold, his head buried in the cushion, but the muffled whines and whimpers still persisted to reach your ears. It was your pillow.
It had been a long while since these terrible nightmares have plagued his nights. The last was far too long ago you hardly remembered it anymore. You remember how he once told you about it having something to do with you sleeping by his side. That something about you just calmed him and made his mind come to a peaceful state. The guilt you felt increased tenfold as the regret of leaving him alone ate you alive. You didn’t… you don’t… you couldn’t have imagined how much you had helped him without even realizing and now leaving him to his own devices… you felt like a pompous prick.
You sped to his side, whispering his name in hopes to arouse him but it proved to be futile.
You sat beside him, turning to the side to face figure. A finger reached to tuck the damp locks behinds his ears as you whispered his name again, hoping to get through his thoughts but it still wasn’t working. Your hands moved to cradle the side of his face, your thumb caressing his cheek in hopes to stir him as you continued to say his name.
‘Loki’ you said softly, knowing using any other tone or pitch would only frighten him further. You moved your head next to his, your body twisted in an awkward position, but you couldn’t care less. You continued to whisper his name close to his ear, your thumbs caressing those sharp angled cheeks until he finally stirred.
You felt it. That light shake of his head as he finally starts rouse, as if shaking off fatigue and merciless thoughts that haunted his mind. You pulled away a bit to see him properly, wiping the beads of sweat that coated most of his forehead with the sleeve of your jumper as your other hand continued their gentle caress on his cheeks. He had a furrow that pulled his brows together and normally you would have found it adorable but right now you only hoped to remove it.
He blinked slowly, gathering his bearings to check if he was truly out of the agonizing torment his mind had conjured. He was losing you. It was scene after scene of ways he loses you and all of it was his fault. From you leaving him after an argument, to the image of the mad titan snapping your neck in his grasp as he watched. Each scenario broke him in every way, and he just couldn’t bare it.
The sight was still fresh in his mind as he finally started to ebb away from the drowse of sleep. Then as panic set him as he realized and processed what had happened, he didn’t notice the soft whisper of his name or the caress of your delicate fingers. He was on the verge of complete panic, tears welling up his eyes when he felt it. You.
Your voice. You touch. Your scent. Everything. It all enveloped him to the point It became overwhelming, but he wanted it. To suffocate in everything you, to banish those horrid thoughts away.
‘y/n?’ he whispered meekly, still questioning whether he was still in the throughs of his nightmare.
‘I’m here, It’s okay. It’s just a nightmare’ you replied as tears started to pour from his eyes and cascade down his cheeks.
‘I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry, p-please don’t leave me’ he heaved, his voice shaking with every word, it broke your heart to hear him so broken. His arms moved to wrap around you, having a tight hold on your waist, leaving the pillow, as he wept.
You could only do so much to keep your own tears at bay, but you managed to stay strong. Your fingers wiped much of the tears, but they only continued to flow so you pulled him in to hide in the crook of your neck.
‘Shhh darling. It’s alright, I’m here, I promise’ you said in his ear, knowing his cries would only muffle his hearing. He cried and cried, apologizing just as much in between but you still dismissed every single one.
‘Shhhh, you’re okay darling. It’s only a nightmare, it’s alright’ you moved your body to lay on the bed fully, settling beside him comfortably as you held him tight. Your fingers weaved through his obsidian locks, scratching his scalp in hopes to console and comfort him in anyway as he continued to heave on the crook of your neck.
It broke your heart to see him like this. Frightened to the bone like a little boy, shivering as if dunk in the oceans of the arctic. All those years of suffering topped his insecurities and the lack assurance and consoling care throughout most of his life… of course he was afraid. Of the possibilities this life held. He’d seen the worst parts of it, of course id be difficult to peer outside that little protective box he hid in. And your argument certainly didn’t help matters.
He cried for a while and you let him. Bare his vulnerability to you and it was your honour to be shown this fragile part of him. You’d treasure the trust he had in you, to keep him safe in times like these. You wouldn’t let anything happen to him, especially like this. You love him too much.
He calmed down after a little while, still letting out soft sniffs and whimpers every once and a while, but he had calmed down. You placed a soft kiss on his temple, an assurance of sorts before pulling back to face him but his grip only tightened, a whine escaping his lips as he hid himself further in the safety of your hair.
He didn’t want you to pull away for fear of you having enough of him, but he wouldn’t have it. He couldn’t.
You hushed him softly, running a hand through his inky locks and caressing his scalp, assuring him you weren’t going anywhere and only meant to talk to him. He was reluctant but he gave in, nodding the slightest bit before pulling away to face you.
His face was red, eyes bloodshot and puffy around the eyelids, looking down and anywhere but at you. Streaks of tears, dry and fresh cascaded down his sharp features, causing his unruly hair to stick. The look he gave you completely broke your heart, rendering it to mush whilst he had the decency to look so heartbroken.
You kept your composure as a finger swiped a way those stray locks, tucking it behind his ear before he nuzzled in the warms of your palm. Your thumb glided along the prominent angle of his zygoma, brushing away whatever moisture was left until you tilted his head up, by the chin, to look at you. His beautiful emerald eyes shimmered with unshed tears however he still won’t look you in the eyes.
‘Loki’ his name came off your lips in a soft whisper, finally grabbing his attention. Now that you finally had it though, all words seem to have left you, your thoughts drawing blank. A sigh left your lips as you let your head drop to his, your foreheads pressed together as you closed your eyes.
‘I’m sorry’ you said blankly, your hand rising to come through his locks and to scratch his scalp. Whether it was for his comfort or your distraction, you wouldn’t know.
He shook his head, dismissing your apology. Half of him didn’t know what you were apologizing for yet the other had an idea as to what, and even if it truly was what you were thinking, he knew that it was his fault.
‘No, don’t apologize. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have treated you as such, but please darling, forgive me. I cannot lose you, please. Don’t… don’t leave me’ he practically begged. He really couldn’t lose you. He just wouldn’t know what to do if he did, but he just knows he won’t survive it.
‘No, I must apologize’ you argued, continuing on before he could cut you off ‘My actions weren’t acceptable, but Loki… We cannot keep going on like this. I am my own person, I refuse to told what to do, let alone what I can’t. I refuse to be caged in the four walls of this flat like some treasured bird, I’m not. I will not be restrained. By some illness nor God or man. This won’t work if that is what you want’.
‘I know, I know. I-It’s not, It’s not what I want. I’m sorry but darling, I just can’t lose you. I can’t. I won’t survive it. Please, I won’t do it again, just please don’t leave me.’ He sobbed, dropping his head back down the crook of your neck and he held you in a tight embrace. You understood what he meant; you don’t think you could survive losing him too.
‘I won’t. I’m not leaving you. I would never. I'm staying’ You affirmed. You really wouldn’t, but you won’t stand being coddled to the brim.
You held on to each other tightly for a while. Just letting the others presence calm one another. Loki hidden in the arch of your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist, while you laid your head on top of his, a hand mindlessly raking trough his gorgeous locks. It proved to be comforting for the both of you, evidently.
‘I only meant to protect you’ he mumbled with a sniff out of nowhere.
‘I understand, my love. And the best I could do is promise to be safe and extra careful. I won’t take too risky missions if that gives you a peace of mind.’ You offered. You knew he only meant well and cared for your safety. You love your job but often times, it was too dangerous, even for your standards after everything. Taking fewer and safer missions wasn’t a problem. As long as you had worked to do that involved helping people, you were satisfied.
You felt him nod his head lightly at the suggestion, causing a soft smile to bloom from your lips before placing a soft kiss on the crown of his head. You didn’t see it but a small smile curved his lips as well at the feel of your lips on his skin. The touch starved part of him relishing in these small moments of affection like treasure.
Your free hand moved to caress his back when you felt how damp the fabric of his top was. The sweat he had worked up earlier still hasn’t dried and you knew how uncomfortable he would get bathing in the slightest bit of dirt, hence why you thought of getting him cleaned.
You place another kiss on his cheek before attempting to untangle yourself from him. The events of the nights had taxed the god, but you wanted to get him at least a bit clean before he fully dozed off however, as you tried to get off his loving embrace, his grip only tightened, his droopy eyes opening wide to see the commotion. 
‘Shhh, It’s alright. I just have to head out to the kitchen to check something and I promise, I will be right back my love’ you said softly to his ear, hoping his drowse would keep. He gave a tired huff before reluctantly setting you free. Your grin only grew wider, and you place a quick peck on his lips before you scrambled off the bed.
You quickly checked the kitchen to see if the kettle hadn’t burned and once assured, you left it as it was and headed to the loo to get what was needed. You took a small towel from the cupboard bellow the sink and ran it under the water to get it wet. Once it was fully soaked, you wrang the excess water from the towel and quickly grabbed a spare shirt from the wardrobe before going back to the bedroom.
The darling god had his eyes closed with your pillow once again tight in his grasp. This time, the sight made you smile. At how adorable he looked, face squashed on the cushion. You could tell how exhausted he was though, so you made haste in getting him set for night’s (hopefully) peaceful rest.
You sat beside him on the bed, the shifting of the mattress making him dare open an eye just as you were about to rouse him. He gave you that small charming smile of his when he saw you and your hand moved to cup his cheek, letting the pad of your thumb caress his now dried cheeks.
‘Can you sit up for me, luv’ you asked, leaning down to his ear. He gave you a faint nod before you sat back and helped him up. The fatigue was really getting on to him as he laid his head on your shoulder, so you made sure to finish as soon as possible to finally let him have a good night’s rest.
You gathered his hair into a pony with one hand and held it away, while the other wiped the damp cloth on the back of his neck. He flinched at the contact, having been spared a warning, you promptly apologized and moved as quickly as you could.
You wiped his face with great care, before you pulled his shirt off and threw it on the nightstand, to be put on the hamper after you were done. You wiped him all over until you deemed it enough and gave him the spare shirt. He put it on and just before you could leave the bed again, he took your hand. He gave you a pleading look that spoke volumes, and how could you resist when he gave you those doe eyes.
You gave him a soft smile, leaving the little towel beside the shirt and made your way to your spot on the bed. You got comfortable before you looked at him, staring at you with great fondness, it made you bashful yet you still opened your arms, welcoming him in to be held, which with great eager, he accepted. He laid beside you, wrapping his arms around your torso as he inhaled the scent of your hair, a welcome comfort after the course of the night.
You pulled the covers up to cover you both, but the feel of his soft lips just made you forget about everything but him, making you snuggle closer in his hold.
He had his head laid on the top of yours, his arms tied around you and your legs intertwined. An arm of yours cradled the back of his head, tangling to the roots of his inky locks while the other drew abstracts on his back. You held each other, never saying a word yet the silence was finally comfortable. A tranquil state you two could once again relish.
The silence however gave your mind room to intrude the peace, thinking of how things got to this point. From the argument, to the dismiss of each other’s presence and up until the confession after the dreadful nightmare, you admit that parts of how this ended up being the conclusion of the day, was your fault. Yes, Loki had his own mistakes in the matter, but you could have taken a point and fixed it. Why didn’t you get a grip and made the effort to make things better.  You shouldn’t ha…
A deep sigh broke you out of your trance. A squeeze, you felt you were given as arms around waist tightened and you were pulled impossibly closer to the mass holding you.
‘I can hear your gears turning, darling’ Loki mumbled, followed by a small chuckle, breaking the deafening comfort of silence. The sound was well welcomed after the tension of the day.
‘Sorry, luv. Go back to sleep’ you reply, scratching his scalp. He hummed in response, a smile pressing against your hair before a quick peck was planted on the top of your head. You grinned, closing your eyes, hoping to finally get consumed by the black oblivion that was rest.
The gentle caress on your arm helped, lulling you to a peaceful state of mind. Loki knew what helped you too.
Eventually the night drew on, painting the dark skies with stars as the two held each other, succumbing to blissful state of peace promised by slumber.
The night was a lesson for the two. To understand the other, to work out their problems and to never go to bed angry.
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justmeinadaze · 1 year
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I'm In Control Part 22 (Steddie X You)
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A/N: I based readers dress off of this picture here.
Enjoy the feeeeeeeels *evil laughs*
Warnings: Daddy Steve/Sir Eddie and all that that implies ( I regret nothing!), another run in with Cassie, smut, fluff, and angst.
Word Count: 5306
TJ skids into your office excitedly, a huge grin plastered on his face. 
“Dude, it’s totally ok to just walk into my office.”
Your boss playfully scowls at you before pointing at Eddie. “You, angel, have been spending too much time around him. Did you just call me dude?”
“I’m sorry, sir. How can I help you today?”
“Gross. Don’t call me that either.”
“What do you want, TJ?”, you laugh. 
“Have you guys heard?” He sighs when everyone shakes their head. “You two have been nominated for an AVN award.”
“And that means…” Your boss glares at Steve as you smile at them. 
“How have you two never heard of the Adult Video News awards? It’s like the Oscars of this industry.”
Their eyes shift to you as nod, affirming. 
“Oh, cool.” 
TJ growls as he turns towards you. “Please, after you take them to get fitted for suits, can you do something to make them more excited?”
“We have suits.”, Steve chuckles. 
“Yes, but I can’t trust you two to actually wear them so I thought maybe if I bought you both one you will feel obligated to look nice for me. Obviously, there will be a lot of important people there. Don’t shame me.”
“Are you not coming?”, you ask.
“Nope. Luke is hosting the after party so I’m helping him out there. You, young lady, will be going but I beg you…” Your boss comes around to your side of the desk and gets down on his knees. “Please, don’t give Trisha Jameson any attitude.”
“I can’t promise you that.”
“Don’t worry, TJ. We’ll keep her in line.”, Eddie winks at you. 
“And you two, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you leaving a shoot last week. We need to talk about that. Cassie Leigh’s agent was extremely upset.” You glanced at them as your boss leaned against your desk with his back to you. “What happened?”
“We, um, have a history with her. Not exactly a professional one.” You watched Steve as he shifted in his seat. You three knew he may ask questions and they both insisted on taking all the blame if it came up. At the time, they weren’t sure what they would even say so you were surprised when he answered honestly. 
“Oh…Oh. Um, I mean… I make jokes about you guys being in a relationship with the same person but I didn’t realize…I mean, no judgements, of course! Did you know about this?” You quietly shake your head when he turns to you. “Now you know what I’m going to say. It’s not uncommon for exes to still do the job… unless there’s a reason.”
“Besides the fact that she’s a bitch?”
TJ rolls his eyes, chuckling as he rises and heads for the door. “I swear. You guys spend why too much time together.”
#################
“He said it was like the Oscars, not the actual Oscars. Why do we have to dress this nice?”
“Eddie, calm down. It’s a three-piece suit, not a tux for prom.”, you giggle.
“I didn’t even wear a tux to prom!”
“I did. That thing was a pain the ass to get off.”
“For you to get off, Steve? Or the date you brought?”
“Ah ha ha, little one. You’re so funny.” He smiles as he steps out of the changing room, giving you a 180. “What do you think?”
What did you think? Jesus, you didn’t have enough breath left in your lungs to answer him. Steve looked so handsome.
“Uh oh. Eds, tread carefully. We may be bordering the line here.”
“Huh? What line?” Eddie steps out of the opposite changing room, adjusting his cuffs. When his eyes met your glassy ones, he nodded in understanding. “Okay, come back, sweetheart because I need you to tell me if I did this right.”
Tossing your phone on the chair behind you, you go to him and run your hands down his chest as you smile. 
“You put it on correctly, Mr. Munson. God, you both look amazing.”
“Wow, look at these two strapping gentlemen.” You pull yourself away as one of the workers rounds the corner and takes Steve’s hand to guide him on to the platform in front of a mirror. 
“What did you wear to prom? I picture like something big and poofy.”, he laughs.
“Oh, I didn’t go to prom.” He looked at you through the mirror as Eddie came to sit beside you. “Again, not that shocking. I mean, you guys have seen Carrie, right?”
“I see. So you were afraid to go because you would kill everyone with your psychic powers?” You laughed at the metalhead as you hit his arm. 
“No! The low-cut dresses, the music, the dancing…all of that was a no go. I mean I’m not sad about it or anything. From what I hear from other people, I didn’t miss much.”
They glance at each other before switching places and Steve sits beside you to take your hand. “You still should have gotten to experience that for yourself.”
#############
“Fuck me…”, Eddie exhaled as you opened the door to their knock. 
“Wow. Honey…you look…” You blushed as Steve struggled to find the right words. 
“Do you guys like it?”, you ask as you gesture at your dress. TJ gave you his card insisting you buy something stunning as well. After seeing how delicious they had looked in their suits, you wanted to make sure you found something equally as delectable. 
It was an elegant, strapless dress but still showed off your body in all the right places, cutting off a little above the knee. The black color accentuated your hips and the matching shoes gave you an air of confidence that had the boys swooning. 
“We love it.”, Eddie grins as he leans down to kiss your cheek. “I love this necklace to by the way. I don’t think I’ve seen you wear it.”
“Very good, Mr. Munson. I haven’t because I just bought it.” You beam up at them with a giddy grin. “These different colors here spell out something in morse code. Can you read it?”
When they shake their heads, you chuckle and hand them separate velvet boxes. Wide smiles stretch across their face as they pull out the leather-bound bracelets with “Daddy” and “Sir” engraved on the inside of the silver clasp. 
“It says ‘Theirs’.” You watch with excitement as they immediately put the jewelry on their wrists. “I saw it online when I was researching something and I thought I just had to get it.”
“This is perfect. Thank you, baby.” Steve pulls you into his arms before Eddie does the same. 
“We need to get a move on or we’re going to be late.”
Taking both their elbows, they guide you towards the awaiting limo. 
###########
“Wow, there is an actual red carpet.”, Eddie muses as he looks out the window. 
“They may separate us at some point but we are sitting together.”
“Um…is there a way that could not happen.” You glance at Steve who you notice seems more nervous than usual. 
“Hey. Don’t forget. They are all here because of you. You both are amazing at what you do. Just be yourselves.” He leans forward giving you a quick peck on the lips and you turn your head to give Eddie one as well. “You’re going to be fine.”
The limo door abruptly opens as the three of you are practically pulled out into the chaos. A coordinator from the show guides you towards designated areas, giving you the play by play of the evening. She yanks you to the side and pushes the boys forward into flashing camera lenses as she continues to speak. Your eyes remain on them, barely listening to a word she says. 
Reporters for websites split them apart to ask them questions and you see them stiffen at the action. If you can’t be next to them, at least they have each other but the further they move them the more you see the worry cloud over their confidence. 
“How much longer do they have to do this?”
“Um, probably another five minutes and then we can go inside. If you want to wait in there, I can—”
“No, It’s ok. I can wait here.”
After what feels like hours, the three of you are finally able to go inside the venue with all the other guests. 
“Jesus Christ. Ever wonder what it’s like to walk into a room full of people you’ve slept with?”, Eddie chuckles under his breath.
“You okay?”, you whisper.
“Yeah, just…this is weird.”
“Shit. Heads up, Munson. It’s about to get weirder.”, Steve growls.
“Hey boys.”, Cassie Leigh grins as she saunters towards your group. “And…Y/N, right?”
You nod as you politely smile in her direction. “I heard you two were nominated tonight. That’s amazing. My, uh, date over there is nominated for something as well.”
“Y/N!”
Your body visible cringes as you shudder. “Is this hell? Am I in hell right now?”
Trisha Jameson comes up to you, bending down to give you a big, obnoxious hug. “Wow, you three look fantastic! Congratulations, boys. It seems someone is looking out for you!”
“Yeah, um, Y/N is great at what she does.” Eddie compliments you and you can’t help but blush. 
“You bet she is. Well, little one, I will see you in there! Good luck.”, she sings as she wraps her arm around her date and heads into the auditorium.
You start to angrily follow after her but Steve grins, grabbing your arm, and pulling you back. “I hate when she calls me that.”
The three of you notice Cassie is still standing there watching you with amusement. 
“Is there something else we can do for you, Cassandra?”
Light shines through her eyes as she tilts her head. “Oh, I get it. This is the girl. The one you guys said you were in love with.”
Your eyes shift between them, watching them both shift from nervous to protective in the blink of an eye.
“No, I mean it makes sense. She’s beautiful, powerful, and from the one interaction we had can definitely handle herself. I imagine she’s fun to take apart. Right, Sir? Eddie always had a thing for brats. Daddy liked them to a point. I mean—”
“Cassie, I don’t care. I know what you’re doing and I promise you it won’t work. They aren’t the same men you left behind without so much as a fucking goodbye.”
“Oh? And what makes you think you know anything about what happened? You think men like them change?”, she scoffs. 
“Then why are you here? Just go about your life and leave them be. You did it once you can do it again. Whether you like it or not they are mine. Now, my understanding is they both asked you nicely to stay away from them. I’m a little different but allow me to be as clear as I can. If I ever see your face again or they tell me that you tried popping up on another set or some bullshit like that… I will make it so you never get another acting job in this town again. Do you understand me?”
Her heels clicked against the tile as she brought her face to yours. “Are you threatening me?”
You matched her, taking one step forward. “Yes, I am.”
The boy’s shoulders connected as they stepped between you two, bumping Cassie backwards. 
“If you hit her or cause a scene, Cassandra, I will help her follow through with that promise.” Steve glared down at her. 
Her cheeks puffed out as she turned around and marched towards her date like a little girl being told to go to her room. 
“Again, gentlemen. Just a charmer that one.” They both separated as Eddie reached out to push some hair behind your ear. “Was she about to hit me?”
“Uh huh. We saw that look many times.”
“Eddie… I don’t like that.” You reached forward, placing your palm his cheek. 
“It wasn’t a big deal—”
“Steve don’t say that. She shouldn’t be putting her hands on you guys like that.”
“We’ve smacked each other.”, he chuckles as he places a comforting kiss on your forehead. 
“Yeah, when we play. You would never really hurt me like that. Even after everything we’ve been through, I’ve never been afraid of you two physically and I hope you know I would never—”
“Honestly, I don’t think you’ve ever hurt us. Physically or emotionally.” Eddie sighs as you watch his brain through his eyes wonder through every tough experience they’ve put you through. “Jesus, you really are an angel.”
###########
The three of you giggled hysterically as you climbed back into the awaiting limo a few hours later, them clinging to their newly won awards. They completely froze when their names were called and adorably stumbled up to the stage to accept their prize. 
“Wow. Um, I don’t even know what to say… we genuinely didn’t think we’d even win. Um, thank you for the honor and giving us a chance to work with you. To our agent, Y/N, and TJ, our lives completely changed when we signed with you guys. Thank you for everything.”, Steve smiled as he stepped back and Eddie quickly cut in. 
“And to our girlfriend, thank you for being patient with us and just being you. We wouldn’t be here without you, sweetheart. Love you so much!”
“You know this means you’re going to be getting a lot more high-profile jobs now.”, you grin at them as they continue to stare at the words on the trophy. 
“Wayne is going to trip when I send this to him.” Eddie laughs when he glances at you. “Baby, we don’t need two of the same statues in one house. They have both our names on it. We can keep Steve’s. Plus, my uncle will think it’s cool.”
“I’m so proud of both of you. Are you ready to go to the after party?”
“Actually, honey, TJ said we didn’t have to go. I mean, he heavily implied he would like us to go but he said it was our choice. That being said…” 
 Your startled when you feel the velvet blindfold being placed over your eyes. “Hey! What’s going on?”
“We have a surprise for you. We’re on the way so for the time being just sit back and relax.” Steve’s soft tone filled your ears and you did as he suggested, leaning into one of their chests as you sighed. “Why are you smiling like that, pretty girl?”
“Because even with a blindfold, it doesn’t take me long to figure out who’s near me. No matter how much cologne he puts on, I can still smell the cigarettes.”, you giggle as you keen into Eddie’s neck and kiss his skin.
“Look, I do what I can but I’ve been smoking for years!”
“No… I wasn’t saying it like it’s a bad thing!” Your hand blindly reaches up to find his hair, running your fingers through it. “It’s a part of you. I love the way you smell.”
“Munson…no!” Steve laughs as you smile, feeling a calloused palm trail along you knee. “It’s not fair. You can’t wind her up yet! We still have a whole thing planned.”
“Oh, come on! Like you never felt up your date in the back of a limo.”, the metalhead countered as he whines. “Stevie…she looks so gooooood. Plus, I’ve been turned on since she put Cassie in her place.”
“Patience is a virtue, Mr. Munson.”
“Yeah, Mr. Munson.”, Steve teases. 
“Is this a Daddy and Sir venture?”
“No, princess. This is something you should have had a long time ago.” Eddie tenderly kisses your temple as you lean closer to him. Fingers mingle with your own and your head tilts slightly as a thought crosses your mind.
“What are you thinking about, Y/N?”
“How did it feel? Hearing Cassie refer to you both with your titles…” They both exhale heavily making you laugh. “That bad, huh?”
“It feels like… a violation. Remember when we started this and told you it was personal for us? She gave up the right to call us that a long time ago. The fact that she thinks she can just show up and fucking refer to us that way—”
Your hands search for Steve’s face when you hear the agitation in his voice. 
“How did it make you feel?”, Eddie asked behind you. 
“Angry…protective…a little bit possessive.” They chuckle at your answer. “Of them…not you two. I’m not worried about her seducing you away from me or anything but… they’re mine. You’re MY Daddy.” Your fingers gently caress Steve before reaching to touch Eddie. “You’re MY Master.”
“God damn, Harrington. You can’t tell me you don’t want to fuck her now.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to but we can’t. Not yet but I promise you one thing, little miss. When we get back home you definitely deserve a reward.
##############
“Alright, honey. Just a little further.”
When the limo finally stopped at its destination, they kept you blind while guiding you through a building. At least you assumed it was a building with the way your heels sounded against the floor. Wherever they had taken you it was dark as any lighting within the mask was now shaded over. 
You felt them place you somewhere as one of them steps away from you. Eddie did a count down, removing the blindfold after one. 
“Oh, wow.” 
They had brought you to a ballroom that was decorated from head to toe with silver streamers and a disco ball hanging in the middle of an open dance floor. Along the wall behind a DJ booth was a banner that read “High School Prom”.
“Yeah, it helps the aesthetic when the nearby school just had their prom here. That being said, why a disco ball?”, Eddie laughs.
“Guys…” Your hand flew to your chest as you tried not cry. “Why…you…I don’t know what to say.”
Steve smiled as he reached for your wrist, sliding a pink corsage around it before bowing down to kiss the back of your hand. Eddie did the same, placing a black corsage around you as his hand caressed your skin. 
“You deserve to have this experience. It’s one thing if you didn’t want to go. It’s another when they didn’t allow it. Now, we don’t have a photographer so everyone smile.” Steve held up his phone, taking a picture as you three struck a pose. 
“Ok, should we do cheesy typical prom songs or? I guess we kind of have to depending on what’s up here.” Eddie browsed through the collection as he spoke. You wrapped your arms around his waist, grinning as you point to album. 
“Really? Fiiiiine. I guess it would count has both cheesy and different. It’s your dance, princess.” He kisses your forehead before pulling out the record and climbing on the makeshift stage to get everything connected. 
You saunter towards Steve reaching your arms out to him so you can tug him to the middle of the dance floor. Taylor Swift’s “Lover” begins to play through the speakers and you grin as he places one of his hands on your lower back while holding your other in the air as you both begin to sway. 
“You know, if you had told me the cocky men I met in my office those many months ago would be the loves of my life I never would have believed you.”
“Hm. Now who’s being cliché?”
You giggle as he dips you in his arms before twirling you towards Eddie who places both his palms on your waist while you hold his shoulders. 
“Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever) You're my, my, my, my Lover”
“Seriously though, I remember Steve was wearing his ‘I’m a dad on a Saturday’ look—”
“What does that even mean?”, the boy laughs. 
“She’s talking about your shorts with the socks and douchebag flipflops.”
Your smile grows as you lean your forehead against his. “You were wearing all black in this California heat.”
“Forever my style, babe.” Eddie kisses your lips before spinning you back to Steve. 
“Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you.”
“You guys were so intimidating at first and that wasn’t just because you were my first clients ever. I was trying so hard to keep everything professional but looking back on it now…I knew. I knew I was yours the moment you sat across from my desk.”
Steve made a little huh sound as he leaned down to kiss your lips. “Ew. What was that?”, you giggled. 
“I just think it’s cute.”
“What? That I liked you immediately?”
“That it took you that long.”, Eddie smiles. “We were into you from the moment you stepped into the lobby.”
Blushing, you hugged yourself tighter to Steve, pressing your face into his chest. 
“Uh oh, Ed. We’re breaking her.”
“You’re too sweet to me.” After releasing him from your grip, you beam at them both. “So, what else does one do on prom night?”
#############
The entire ride back home was a blur of kisses and desperate touches. Eddie carries you in his arms through their front door as you leave heated kisses along his neck. 
“Ok…ok…time out.”, he pants as he places you on your feet. “Jesus, I’m gonna cum before we even start.” 
“Um, Ed. I love you and all but you forgot something.”
The metalhead looks around realizing you hadn’t followed him to the bedroom. They poked their head out to find you staring into the room that had once been occupied. You slowly step in and take in your surroundings. Against the wall was a desk like the one you had in your office with a comfy looking desk chair and a couch against the adjacent wall. Eddie’s band posters were still on the wall, knowing you enjoyed them as well and his guitar was still in the corner.
“I thought maybe I could keep you company in here while you worked; practice playing and things like that.”
They had been leaning in the doorway, watching you carefully as they tried to get a read on what you were feeling. 
Upon closer inspection of your desk, you noticed there were two framed pictures. One was of you and Matthew making a goofy face on his motorcycle. The other was the one Steve had taken at the restaurant of you three when you surprised Eddie with his special day. 
“We flipped a coin to see whose room we would keep. Mine would have been easier since it’s actually fucking clean.”, Steve chuckles as Eddie rolls his eyes. “But… do you like it? Of course, you can add anything you want. We just thought—”
You jumped into his arms cutting him off with your lips. “I love it. Thank you. Thank you both.”
The man carried you back to their bedroom, falling with you onto the mattress. They carefully undress you, knowing your dress was most likely expensive before gradually removing their own pricey garments. As Steve’s lips suck on your neck, Eddie’s fingers reach to graze your necklace. 
“I really like this. It looks beautiful on you. To be fair, you look gorgeous in everything but…” He grins down at you as you blush. “We’ll have to find one of these for your bad days that say ‘brat’ on it.”
You playfully gasp at his remark. “Sir, I am always a good girl!”
Steve’s cheek brushed yours, his head falling beside you as he laughed. Eddie lightly gripped your jaw, holding you still as he kissed your lips. 
“You’re something alright. Hey, Daddy.” The metalhead shook his friend’s shoulder. “Didn’t you say something about giving little miss here a reward?”
“Yes, Sir, I did.”
“Oh, guys. No. You’ve done a lot for me already tonight.”
They smile as their lips tandemly trail down your body. 
“Ooo, Daddy. I don’t know about you but that sounds like talking back to me. Definitely brat behavior.”
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’ll be quiet.”
“Not for long, honey.”, Steve chuckles as he situates himself between your legs. Eddie hovers by your waist just above him, opening your pussy lips with his fingers.
“Fuck, princess. So wet already.” You moan as he slowly rubs circles into your clit while Steve’s tongue inserts itself into your needy entrance. “Now, baby, you don’t have to ask to cum. Our mouths are going to be a bit preoccupied.” He winks at you and before you can respond his mouth envelopes your nub causing you to cry out in pleasure. 
You had never felt anything like this in your life. Having both their tongues between your legs was pure ecstasy and you couldn’t get enough.
“Oh my god. That feels so fucking good.” Reaching down, you run your fingers through Eddie’s mess of hair, your hips grinding against them. 
Steve groaned as you pussy fluttered around him, pushing his face further into your sex. You leaned up on your elbows to watch them, whimpering at the sight, not just because of what they were doing but because they were yours. These two handsome, sexy, sweet, funny, dorks were yours.
You threw your head back, moaning and begging as you came. Eddie chuckled when he felt you lightly pulling at him, smiling up at you as his mouth trailed feathery light kisses up your stomach to your neck.
“I want you, baby. Please. I need to feel you.”
His lips quickly peck yours before flipping on to his back and pulling you on top of him. You both groan as you guide his cock into you, grinding your hips against his. Eddie’s rough hands snake around the back of your neck, bringing your lips to his, hips jutting up to meet yours as you push yourself up and meet his beautiful brown eyes. 
“Mine.”, you whisper.
“Fuck. Yeah, pretty girl. Yours.”
“Yours?”
He breathily laughs as his palms run along your sides. “Always, princess.”
“Show me, Sir. Please.”
Eddie’s arm wraps around your lower back, flipping you around and lifting your leg over his shoulder as he starts thrusting into you. His fingers dig into your thighs as his cock pushes deeper into you making you mewl at the feeling. You were so transfixed on him and the gleams of sweat shimmering of his gorgeous, tattooed chest, you hadn’t even heard Steve panting beside you as he stroked himself at the sounds you were making.
You reach out for him and his lips descended on yours for a moment before drifting down your body, stopping near your waist. Eddie opened your legs wider giving the other boy more access to you as mouth wrapped around your clit. 
“Fuck me! Oh my god.”
“Jesus Christ…”, the metalhead grunts as your pussy clings to him like a vice. “Cum, baby, please. I…I’m not going to last much longer here if you… fucking keep gripping me like that.”
Steve flicks his tongue faster against your nub helping you get there as you cum hard. Eddie soon follows, lifting your hips as he fills you up.
He pulls out, collapsing beside you as Steve takes his place between your legs with his body flat against your own. 
“You ok, little miss? Do you think you can handle me to?”, he whispers as his lips gently kiss your neck toward your ear. “It’s ok if you can’t, honey. Be honest.”
Your hands circle around to his shoulders as your legs capture his waist. “Please, Daddy. Show me like he did.” Steve lifts his head, hovering his mouth over yours. “Show me I’m yours.”
His lips part, eyes squeezing shut as he easily slides into you and bottoms out almost instantly. He moves at a steady pace, trying not to overwhelm you or himself. 
“Fuck, baby girl. You’re so… Jesus…”
“Tell me, Daddy.”
Eddie’s fingers grabbed your cheeks as he turned you to passionately kiss your lips. As his tongue mingled with your own, your whimpered as your cunt gripped Steve, dragging along his cock. 
“God damn it.” His head fell beside yours as you continued to kiss the metalhead. “I’m…I’m not going to last long—mmm—either. Fuck, this IS my prom night.” He smiled when he felt you softly giggle. “You’re so tight. You—mmm—you have no idea how fucking…amazing you feel. Shit…Ed, help me. I don’t think…”
Eddie’s forehead remains pressed to yours as you watch him lick the pads of his fingers before bringing them to your swollen bundle of nerves. You turn to face Steve, your eyes locking on his as cum. His own roll back as he falls against you, grinding his hips roughly into yours until he sputters and you feel him release inside of you. 
As he gradually pulls out of you, you hiss at the feeling. 
“What’s wrong, honey? Are you ok?”
“Yeah…sore.”
Eddie chuckles beside you as you both turn to look at him. “No, sorry. I’m not laughing at her pain. Just the fact that she’s still not using full sentences.”
“It’s not my fault you both take my breath away.”
“Well, that was fucking cute.” Steve grins as he kisses your forehead.
###########
“Hey TJ. Oooo, are you alright? You look upset.” 
Your boss called you into his office that following Monday morning and you assumed it was about them winning their award but something about his face made you realize whatever was going on it was serious.
“Yeah, angel, I am a little bit. I, um, I was going through the photos they took at the AVN ceremony. I thought maybe I could put a few on our website, you know.” 
TJ turns his computer screen to show you some images causing your stomach to drop. You felt him watch your face as he scrolled through pictures of you caressing Eddie’s face and Steve kissing your forehead.
“Now, I know you and I know you can be a bit touchy feely but… Y/N, it would explain some things.” He sighs as your eyes meet his. “Ok…”
##############
“I’m not going to lie, I expected TJ to like tackle us when we came in.”, Eddie grinned as they both entered your office.
“For real. Is he upset we didn’t go to the—” Steve paused when he noticed you weren’t at your desk like you normally were but on the couch further away with your face in your palms. “Honey?”
When you placed your hands in your lap and they saw your tear-streaked face, they immediately dropped into that protective mode. 
“Y/N, what happened?”, Eddie asked as he kneeled in front of you while Steve took the spot beside you, his fingers pulling your hair out of your face. 
“Um… so a photographer at the event the other night took some photos and, uh, TJ saw them. Photos of the three of us…after the thing with Cassie…”
“Baby…”
“Technically, I’m not fired. I’m, uh, suspended until TJ figures out what he wants to do… so someone else in the company will look after you and Avery…” You broke then, no longer able to keep it together as you cried. 
Eddie laid his head on your lap, hugging his arms around your legs as Steve wrapped his around your shoulders bringing your head to his chest.
##################
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jahayla-parker · 9 months
Text
Tag Yourself : Freddy Carter x Reader SMAU
Desc: Social media AU preference for Season 2 Premiere y/n attends to support Freddy and his cast-mates
Warnings: Freddy looking far too attractive for his own good, otherwise fluff with some light flirting.
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Liked by freddycarter1, amitasuman_, benbarnes, and 523, 498 others
yourusername: The Barrel might belong to bastards, but as far as I’m concerned,he’s still the King of Thieves 🖤 #sabseason2premiere
view all 148, 394 comments
freddycarter1: 😘
kittheyounger: what a fit man 😍
yourusername: ain’t that the truth! Too bad he’s taken 😉
lbardugo: The caption is perfect y/n 🖤
shadowandbone: and how am I supposed to go on today after this 🤩
kazzles258: he’s so beautiful!
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Liked by yourusername, amitasuman_, benbarnes, and 852, 247 others
freddycarter1: The best Barrel mates.
@/nextflix Shadow and Bone Season 2 Premiere!
view all 246, 874 comments
yourusername: such a gorgeous trio! 😘
freddycarter1: thank you precious ❤️
kittheyounger: ….beg your pardon??
freddycarter1: yes?
kittheyounger: i think you’re missing a ‘barrel mate’ 🤔
freddycarter1: oh, I see the misunderstanding. I said ‘Best’ 😌
kittheyounger: i have no words…
calahan.skogman: ❤️
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Liked by freddycarter1, amitasuman_, lbardugo, and 639, 261 others
yourusername: Kazzle Dazzle living up to his nickname ✨
#sabseason2premiere
view all 186, 354 comments
freddycarter1: ❤️
yourusername: I seriously love that smile 😍
freddycarter1: and I seriously love you 😘
benbarnes: i need shades just to look at this photo
lbardugo: Kazzle Dazzle is canon now 🖤
shadowandbone: what a smile 😍
freddyandkaz: literally sobbing rn
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Liked by lbardugo, yourusername, benbarnes, and 727, 193 others
freddycarter1: the one who made all this possible ❤️
📸: @/yourusername
view all 237, 581 comments
yourusername: so happy to have an updated Freddy and Leigh photo 🙌🥹
freddycarter1: thanks to you being such an amazing photographer 😘
kittheyounger: 🤩
lbardugo: ❤️
shadowandbone: our Queen 👑
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Liked by freddycarter1, netflix, shadowandbone, and 746, 558 others
yourusername: the one where the crows reunite
@/netflix @/shadowandbone
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freddycarter1: sunning photo my dear ❤️
yourusername: you all made it pretty easy; especially you Mr. Carter 😘
kittheyounger: fam
lbardugo: this!🖤
shadowandbone: we’re stealing this 😇
sabkazzzz: we have a family photo guys!!!🙌
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shadowandbone: Season 2 Premiere part 1, swipe through for more photos of the fun times tonight
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yourusername: everyone tag yourself, I’m Jack Wolfe looking at Freddy 🥰
freddycarter1: 😂 I love you x
kittheyounger: simp
yourusername: @/kittheyounger jealous much?😌
jacktwolfe: haha, i feel like it’s a instinctual response to being around Freddy 🤷‍♂️
yourusername: couldn’t agree more Jack ❤️
lbardugo: such a wonderful night!
amitasuman_: ❤️
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Liked by freddycarter1, yourusername, lbardugo, and 965, 347 others
shadowandbone: Part 2!
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freddycarter1: thank you @/netflix for the smashing night ❤️
benbarnes: 🖤
yourusername: I’m also tagging myself as Patrick Gibson looking at Freddy 😘
freddycarter1: lmao darling 🥹❤️
shadowandbone: us too!
lbardugo: I’ll never forget tonight! It was such an honor!
grishaforlife: living for these photos!!!
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freddycarter1: 'Kazzle Dazzle' is officially canon so we threw a party to celebrate.
An absolutely incredible night at the 'Shadow and Bone' Season 2 Premiere @/netflix
Thank you everyone who came and celebrated with us and extra special thank yous to @/pinnaclepruk @/shawnesssss @/mrfabioimmediato @/dior @/shadowandbone and of course @/yourusername ❤️
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yourusername: it has to be illegal to look that good 😍
freddycarter1: 🥰 it has to be illegal to be that sweet 😘
kittheyounger: ❤️
lbardugo: 🙌 For the purpose of this comment these are jazz hands
kazswife16: sCreEeaMiNggg😭
yourusername: so proud of you gorgeous boy ❤️
freddycarter1: thank you sweetheart 😘
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Freddy Carter Navigation
Kaz Brekker Navigation
Pin Hawthorne Navigation
My Main Masterlist Navigation (All My Works)
Taglist: @historynerd7 @alex-kazbrekkersimp @ell0ra-br3kk3r @missdreamofendless @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @nikfigueiredo
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freddycarterus · 4 months
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kickstarter
Help us save Six of Crows!
DONATE ONLY $1 TO HELP US REACH OUR GOAL! WE ARE GOING TO DO A BILLBOARD FOR SAB TOO!
On November 15th, Netflix announced its cancellation of the Six of Crows project, an adaptation of Leigh Bardugo’s beloved Grishaverse duology. Since then, there has been an outpour of grief and heartbreak online from thousands of fans, begging for a reversal.
The novel Six of Crows was first published 8 years ago, gaining critical acclaim and a massive fanbase. Over the years, its numbers have only grown. First appearing on screen in Shadow and Bone, the Crows rapidly became favorites among critics and fans alike. The fandom’s love for the ragtag crew from Ketterdam was so significant and well-known that the show diverges from the book’s canon to include them. When showrunner Eric Heisserer announced in March that a Six of Crows spinoff was in the works the fandom rejoiced, but since being canceled, the fandom's joy quickly turned into dismay and uproar.
With scripts already written, an immensely talented group of people both in front of and behind the camera more than ready to work, and a massive fanbase, it’s baffling that Netflix would choose not to go forward with the project. However, the Grishaverse fandom refuses to accept this fate. 
We refuse to accept that we will never see Inej Ghafa’s empowering backstory, the beautiful love story of Matthias and Nina, the dozens of famous lines that make us weep, or a single scene with all of our beloved Crows together.
We have organized this Kickstarter campaign to show Netflix that we reject this abrupt and heartbreaking end. For the cast, for the crew, for all of us that love this world and these characters, we will fight to see this story on screen.
Donations to this Kickstarter will be put towards the renting of a large billboard in Los Angeles demanding Netflix’s action in saving the Six of Crows series. If sufficiently funded, we plan to expand the campaign to other locations to further demonstrate our commitment. 
As exact details will partially depend on the success of this fundraiser, more information about the specific address and duration of the billboard(s) rental will come soon. For questions, keep an eye on this webpage or follow @freddybrekker on X for updates.
It is our hope that Netflix will be forced to listen to the fandom’s dedication to this series as well as our outrage at its cancellation. For our cause to be successful, we must be impossible to ignore.
Finally, we will leave you with words from our brilliant, dedicated and beloved cast of Crows.
“I feel like the fans, myself included, have been really looking forward to seeing the Six of Crows storyline come to life. It's just so, so cinematic, that storyline…It would be heartbreaking to get this close and then not get to see all six of them together." Freddy Carter
“I haven't had the same luxury of Inej's backstory yet, and I think they're saving that. I'm really, really glad that they are. I know the payoff for this, if it does happen, is gonna be absolutely an emotional wreck but in the most beautiful, exciting and exhilarating way.” Amita Suman
“I’m heartbroken by the idea that we won’t be able to finish what we started… I desperately wished to go further, and believe me those plans are special…The patience I’ve carried for that dream these past years has been beating in me like a slow steady drum, and yesterday it paused for the first time.” Calahan Skogman
"[Nina has] helped many people like me to love, like, and accept myself. I tried to stay true to her character.” Danielle Galligan 
“Growing up, I didn’t see that many characters like myself who were in big fantasy series, with violence or [who] even had access to fantasy weapons or got involved in big fights and battles…I think to see a character like myself in those situations is a really cool thing, it’s something that I actually don’t see often.” Jack Wolfe
"I think that I can speak for everyone here when we all really care about doing it well, and we are invested in its success… I think hopefully what you see is something that we are already proud of because we’ve put our blood, sweat, and tears into it. And it’s just a joy to do. So wherever it can go next, if we get the chance to keep going, then you know, we’re all game, we’re all excited to do it." Kit Young
#SaveTheCrows #SaveShadowandBone
“Because that’s what we do. We never stop fighting.” 
“Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting.” -  Kaz Brekker, Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo
No mourners. No funerals. 🖤
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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 6 months
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Some random Six of Crows/Crooked Kingdom headcanons
Because I’m just feeling it, and why not?
1) After Alys gives birth, Wylan goes to visit her and meet his baby sibling, and Jesper goes with him. They arrive to find that the baby is in fact half-Kerch, half-Suli and Alys is borderline tearful about Wylan knowing this; Wylan is trying to convince her that he would never judge her for cheating on his father because of the situation she was in, and Jesper has doubled over laughing because this is the funniest thing he’s experienced in his life. Jesper begs to be allowed to tell Van Eck that the baby isn’t his. As the kiddo grows up Wylan still acts as a brotherly figure, he visits at least twice a month and brings them the best presents, and he also gives great advice. His boyfriend gives less great advice that the kiddo has to be steered away from.
2) Ok I’m not sure if this one counts as a headcanon because I don’t actually remember the details of how this would fit in with the timeline between crooked kingdom and king of scars, but I have this idea of Nina going back to the Little Palace and Zoya and Genya being seriously concerned about her and originally not letting her go to Fjerda because she’s emotionally unstable, vulnerable, and (because of her death-related powers) having auditory and visual hallucinations of Matthias. Obviously we see her talk to Matthias in her head in King of Scars, basically I’ve been wondering what if that was the most controlled version and before that she would often fall into hallucinations where he was present or even to the extreme of forgetting he was dead until suddenly remembering what happened and continually reliving her pain. For example, waking up in the morning convinced he’s in the other side of the bed; she has a conversation with him, they tease each other, then she rolls over to kiss him and the bed is empty. I’ve actually been thinking about maybe writing a little fic of this so lemme know if you’d like it, I know there are fellow Helnik-angst fans out there.
3) Cornelius Smeet’s wife is brunette and nothing short of a counter argument from the queen Leigh Bardugo herself will ever change my mind.
4) When Inej starts going after slavers, she builds herself up before taking down Heleen but she doesn’t have an attitude of ‘leaving her until last’ because she’s seen what that’s done to Kaz. She knows that Kaz will never have the satisfaction he’s searching for - I could write essays, he’s in many ways an addict - and so instead of finding the individuals who hurt her and taking them down one by one until only Heleen remains, as Kaz has done by murdering the boy who acted as the roper and by the implied murder of Saskia and Margit as well as many others, Inej doesn’t focus her efforts on directly tracking down the people who hurt her individually. Her focus is far more in the individuals who are being hurt right now. She will go after Heleen when she is good and ready, but it will be by no means the last act she takes in her journey because the purpose of this journey is not revenge on Heleen; the purpose is the act of taking the journey as her healing process and saving not only the thousands of children being hurt right now, but the thousands more that would continue to be hurt by the people she takes down for so long.
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my-darling-inej · 1 year
Text
friendly reminder that it’s canon that kaz and inej have spent literally countless hours together on jobs, scheming/feeding crows before we even meet them in six of crows. i go insane just thinking about all the history that is there between them that we only know glimpses of. like please i need to know more leigh i’m begging you
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southerngirl41 · 10 months
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The Lonliest
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Seth Rollins x Lulu (OC)
Featuring: Roman Reigns (Joe) and Jimmy Uso (Jon) *I'll be using their real names*
**Warnings: This story deals with the death of a child (mentions) grief, loss and thoughts of suicide. Please read with caution.**
I'm always nervous about posting a new story, especially a sad one. For that reason I've had this one sitting in my drafts for a while. Please let me know what you think. I'll have the second part posted tomorrow. 🩷
Tag list: Tag Squad: @mohawkmama @vebner37 @jeyusos-girl @cyberdejos2 @sunflower-leigh @harlem11680 @thesamoanqueen @jstarr86 @vibessonvibes @harmshake @christinabae @stardust181 @iluvthebloodline @alyyaanna
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Part 1 of 2:
“Lulu, I just wanna talk to you for a minute, please.” He begged, grabbing her hand to keep her from walking away. “I can’t do this with you again!” she says, jerking her hand from his grasp. By some cruel twist of faith, he had been drafted to the same brand that she was working on as a commentator. This was the first time they had seen or spoken to one another since the day their daughter's casket was lowered into the ground two years ago. “Lulu, please. I’m begging you to please talk to me.” She stepped back, squaring up with him, “I have nothing to say to you Colby.”
Defeated, he slammed his fist into the wall as she walked away. Again.
He hoped that after being moved to the same brand that he might have a chance at reconciliation, but she wouldn't even have a conversation with him. Maybe it was the venue he chose; work really wasn't the best place to have this type of conversation after all.
“She still won't talk to you?”
Colby turned at the sound of his friend Joe’s voice. The two friend’s shared more than just a friendship, they once partnered together, traveled together and lived on the road together. That’s where Colby met Lulu, she was Joe’s cousin and a sister to Jon and Josh, the Uso’s. Their attraction was immediate, the two quickly fell in love and were married six months later.
He ran a shaky hand through his long black hair, “I don't blame her. Some wounds never heal, man.”
Joe patted him on the shoulder, “Just give her some time. She’s been seeing a therapist and at least trying to… cope.” Joe knew she’d most likely kill him for telling Colby but he felt his friend had a right to know. “I gotta get ready for the show, we’ll talk later.” Joe says, leaving his friend alone in the empty hallway.
Lulu sat alone in a small dark corner of the arena, hidden away from the rest of the world. She knew this day would come eventually but didn’t know it would be so soon, if you can call two years soon.
She angrily wiped the tears from her face as a set of footsteps grew closer. She tried to gather her composure, the last thing she needed was for someone to see her, a grown thirty two year old woman crying alone in the dark. “Lu?” she heard Joe calling down the hallway. Relieved, she relaxed against the cold cinder block wall. “Back here.” she says, quietly. He peeks around the corner, seeing her sitting on a wooden crate. “I figured you’d be hiding somewhere.” her older cousin says, putting an arm around her and pulling her in close. “How am I gonna do this Joe? I- I don't think my heart can take it.” she whispers, wiping fresh tears from her eyes. “I think I'm gonna quit. I’ll ask Paul for my release, find something else to do with my life.” she rambles.
Joe sighed, knowing she would react this way, every time someone mentioned her Ex-husband’s name or brought up the subject she would dive straight off the deep end. “Take a deep breath and calm down. There’s no need to make any rash decisions right now.”
Lulu let out a deep breath she'd been holding, “How am I supposed to call his match when I can’t stand to even hear his fucking name much less see him!”
Joe stood up, pulling her to her feet, “Because you are the strongest woman that I've ever known and you can do incredible things when you put your mind to it. You’re just gonna have to do like I do and step outside yourself and become another person for the night. You can do this darlin’."
Lulu took her seat at ringside next to the veteran commentator Michael Cole, putting her headset on and straightening her notes. “You gonna be alright?” Michael asked sweetly. Everyone in the WWE and the world for that matter knew about the situation between the two ex-spouses, which made it a thousand times harder. “I guess we’ll find out.” she replies bitterly as the show starts.
Somehow she held it together as his music started to play, gripping the edge of the desk, her hands shaking as she watched him dance down the entrance ramp, the crowd singing along with his music. Everyone fucking loved him and it made her sick. But she knew she would have to look up and commentate as soon as the ring announcer Samantha finished the introductions.
Time seemed to move slowly as he ducked under the ropes and entered the ring. Cole was giving the television audience some stats on “Seth” as his opponent was announced. She started to speak, realizing that she couldn't hear herself in her headset, looking at her colleague, he shrugged, telling the listening audience that Lulu was having technical difficulties and we were working to resolve them. It wasn't until after the match that she realized that he had unplugged her headset from the equipment. “You didn't have to do that." She tell him. He winked at her and said, “And you shouldn't have to do this either.”
Later that night Joe knocked on his cousin’s door, tapping his foot as he waited for her to open up. “Lu! Open the door.” he yells, knocking again. He’d made it a habit to check on her every night after the show, especially with both of her brothers being out with injuries and especially tonight after Colby walked back into her life. “Lulu, open this fucking door!” he shouted again.
“What?” she sneered, jerking the door open, holding quite possibly the largest bottle of Vodka he’d ever seen. “What the hell are you doing?” he asks, yanking the bottle out of her hand. “Give it back asshole!” she says, trying to pry the bottle from his large hands. “Just leave me alone. I don’t wanna talk to you right now.” She hits him hard across the chest, fighting a losing battle for custody of the bottle. He sat down on the corner of her bed, the bottle clutched safely in his hands. “You’ve been doing so good why are you drinking again?”
“Let me drink myself to death-" she slurs, reaching for the bottle. "anything is better than this bullshit."
“Don't fuckin’ say that again!” he growls, shoving her hands away.
“I don't wanna be here anymore. Just leave me alone.” she cries as she stands in front of him.
“You’ve lost your mind if you think I'm leaving you alone now. I dont give a shit if I have to start rooming with you. Or I’ll call your damn brothers if I have to but you’re not gonna be alone! And you sure as shit aint gonna drink yourself to death!"
Her heart was breaking all over again, just as she thought she might start to heal there he was; the cause of her misery. She’d been seeing a therapist for the past six months and felt as if she was finally making some progress but her Ex Husband had thrown a wrench in that progress. She slid down the wall, pulling her knees to her chest and sobbed. Joe sat down next to her wrapping his large arms around her, his own heart breaking watching his cousin and one of his best friends in so much pain. He was there along with her brothers standing at her side during her daughter Livi’s funeral. Her brother Josh practically held her up on her feet as she squalled; she was inconsolable. Colby tried to comfort his wife, tried to hold her but she couldn’t stand the sight of him. Her brother's packed what clothes they could after the funeral and she moved back home to Florida the next day. She never looked back.
“Calm down.” Joe says, stroking her hair, “Breath. It’s okay.”
She wiped her red face, sucking in a few ragged breaths, “I know you still talk to him.”
“I've never hid it from you.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“Lulu I'm not your enemy. And neither is he.”
“You don't understand!"
“You’re right, I don't know what it's like to lose a child. I pray every night that no one has to experience the loss that you and Colby did. Would you please consider at least talking to him?"
She shook her head, staring at the hotel carpet, "I have nothing left to say to that man."
Eventually she passed out leaning against him, Joe wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol or from her crying herself to sleep. He picked her up and laid her in the bed, pulling the covers over her then made himself as comfortable as he could on the tiny hotel couch.
Lulu sat up in the bed sometime around nine that next morning, holding her throbbing head in her hands, groaning, "Ugh, I feel like shit."
"I'm not surprised." came Joe's voice from the bathroom.
She picked the empty Vodka bottle up and looked at it, "I drank all that last night?" She asks as he walks back into the room. "No, I poured the rest out after you passed out." He sat down next to his cousin, tying his tennis shoes, "I called Jon last night. He's flying in this afternoon."
Lulu rolled her eyes, laying back down on the bed, "Why'd you do that?"
"Honestly, because you need someone to watch you and he's hurt and isn't doing anything else."
"I don't need anyone to fucking watch me, I'm not a child."
Joe huffed, holding up the empty bottle, "You would have drank this entire bottle had I not come to your room last night."
"So you choose the brother that's had three DUI's to babysit his alcoholic sister?"
"That was years ago Lu, he's good now."
"Yeah, okay. Who do you think taught me how to drink?"
An odd look crossed Joe's face as he stared at her. "What do you mean, taught you how to drink?"
"Dude, I've been drinking with my brother since I was probably fifteen."
"Why didn't I know that?" He questions her.
She rolled her eyes, "Guess you don't know everything like you thought you did."
As show time neared Lulu sat down at the announcers desk, mentally preparing herself for another long night. She glanced over to her left and smiled "I gotta call his match tonight."
Michael nodded, "I know. I won't pull the plug on you this time, people might get suspicious." She smiled, knowing that he meant well, they'd been calling matches together for almost two years now. "If you'll take the lead, I can keep it together. I knew this day would come eventually."
Once again his music blasted through the arena, she took a deep breath. Summoning all her courage and taking Joe's advice she somehow stepped outside herself for the night; it helped that she could call him Seth and not Colby. It somehow felt less personal that way. There came a moment during the match that he flipped Sheamus over the top rope, slid under the ropes and threw him on top of the desk. The two came face to face again, she glanced away quickly trying not to make it awkward in front of the camera. Sheamus stood up on the desk, picking Seth up, dumping him unceremoniously on the edge causing him to roll off, landing on top of his Ex wife, knocking her out of the chair. The pair were now lying on the floor. They quickly squeezed each other's hand, the WWE's own secret code to make sure the other person was okay. "You okay babe? I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" He asked quickly. She nodded quickly, "I'm okay I think."
She could hear Michael Cole in her headset that was now laying beside her. Still calling the match, raving that Lulu had been knocked over. "What are you doing Seth get off her, you're gonna get counted out!" He shouts, trying to pull him off Lulu. "Sorry Lu." Colby says jumping up and returning to the ring, just beating the ref's ten count.
Lulu straightened herself out and pulled her chair back to its rightful place behind the desk. "These guys are wild tonight Lulu." Cole says into his headset. "I don't know what it is about the last Smackdown before a pay per view but they lose their damn minds." She says in return. This was the second time tonight she'd been knocked out of her chair. Usually these things were planned and she and Michael would have time to jump out of the way but tonight was unhinged, there had been a couple of minor injuries, the desk had been broken (which happened a lot) and she had landed on the floor twice.
"All I gotta say is, if you get hit one more time they might have some trouble on their hands in the form of your cousin Roman Reigns." Lulu laughed at her colleague, rolling her eyes and saying, "Nah, he knows I can take care of myself. But it is nice to have some backup with my brothers being out of action right now."
"Speaking of Jimmy and Jey," Michael tells the audience at home, "They are set to be back in action by December. So all you Uso fans, hang tight the brothers will be back soon. How are the guys doing Lu?"
This was the part of commentary she hated, making small talk to fill the downtime between matches. She smiled seeing the cameraman point the large camera at them. "Well, I spoke to Jey last night. He's feeling great, already back in the gym. Jimmy's injury was a little more complex but he's doing amazing. They're tough as nails Cole and all they want is to get back in the ring."
As the show ended and the crew was breaking down the ring to head to the pay per view event tomorrow Lulu gathered her things and headed backstage to meet up with Joe. She had to admit it was nice being able to have family on the road with her. After Livi’s passing she met with upper management asking to be moved to Friday nights to get away from Colby. That was two years ago and just as she was starting to feel somewhat better he seemed to be rearing his ugly head again.
"You ready to go?" Joe asks, meeting her in Gorilla. She nodded and followed him to the waiting car. "You okay? I saw Colby knock you outta your chair."
"Yeah, it scared me more than anything. I-." she pauses for a moment. "I, I wasn't sure what to say to him. He asked if I was alright and did he hurt me. I just couldn't say anything other than I was okay."
"And that's fine, you don't need all the answers right now. Cole was wanting me to run out there and save you."
Lulu laughed, rolling her eyes, "His favorite thing in the world is when you blow up on someone. Or if my brothers come to my rescue. He loves a good damsel in distress story."
"We've only done that a couple of times."
"That's what makes it so good. If it happened too often no one would appreciate it. Plus, I don't need rescuing."
"Oh… right, right." Joe says laughing at his cousin. She was right though, she was probably the toughest one of their bunch. She took no bullshit from anyone and that made her dangerous at times.
"Did Jon make it in?"
Joe nodded, not looking up from his phone. "Yeah, said he got here a few hours ago, he already checked into your room."
"My room?"
"Yes Lu, your room."
"I just told you I didn't need y'all babysitting me."
"Well, if you'd act like you were an adult we'd treat you like one."
"I lost my fucking child Joe. How am I supposed to act? Please tell me what a grieving mother should do?" She says just before getting out of the car and slamming the door behind her. "Calm down." He yells, racing after her. "Look, I'm sorry. I know that you're an adult. But I'm worried about you. How do you think we'd feel if we lost you?"
"Probably relieved." She spat back, shoving the large doors to the hotel open, Joe hot on her heels. "What room am I in, dad?" Joe rolls his eyes, pulling her to the side. "Stop it." He warns, giving her a stern look. "Hey, you're the one that thinks I need a babysitter. Must make you my dad. Just tell me the damn room number so I can go be sad in private."
At this point he didn't know if she was joking or serious. It was so hard to tell with her these days and that's what worried him and his family; one day she was up the next she was down. "Room 404." He says, pushing the elevator button for them. She stands quietly in the corner after he pushed the fourth floor and then moved to the corner with her, draping an arm over her shoulder. "I love you Lulu, just remember that."
She started to cry, turning toward him, wrapping her arms around him. The ding of the elevator let them know they'd arrived on their floor. He walks her quietly to the door knocking for Jon to let them in. They exchange looks as he gently pushes Lulu toward her older brother. "I don't know man." Joe says with a shrug as he leaves them standing in the door.
"Why you crying girl?" Jon asks sweetly, wrapping his arms around his baby sister. "I'm sad and I don't know what else to do." She cries burying her face in his chest. "Joe won't leave me alone, I just wanna be alone." Jon leads her over to the couch, "Look, he's just worried about you. And honestly I am too after talking to him. Why you drinkin' so much?"
She shot her brother a look, daring him to say something. "You're not really in a position to lecture me about drinking. At least I'm not driving after I drink."
"Don't start Lulu!"
"Then you don't start either Jonathan."
Jon sighed, rubbing his face roughly, "I'm gonna tell you a secret." He says, taking a seat next to his sister who had just sat down on the couch. "Did you know that before you were born that mom and dad lost a baby?" Jon asked his sister. Her eyebrows knitted in confusion, "What do you mean?"
"About two years before you were born mom gave birth to a little girl, she was born with a heart condition and lived for a few days before she passed away."
"No one ever told me that."
"Well, just like you don't like talking about Livi, mom doesn't like talking about the baby. Josh and I were small but I remember her being sad for a long time. I remember her and dad crying a lot. But she never blamed him."
"Well, it wasn't his fault."
"Just like Livi’s death wasn't Colby’s fault, it was an accident Lu! It could have happened to any of us, hell, it could have been you driving"
"I would have never let that happen to my baby."
"But what if it did and Colby blamed you? Don't you think this is killing him too?"
Her dark eyes stared blankly at her brother, unable to answer his questions. "I hope it does kill him."
"Fuck, Lu…" Jon sighed, "The point I'm trying to make is that, what if mom and dad gave up on each other after their child died. We wouldn't have you! And you don't know what might have happened if you wouldn't have given up."
"Now I feel like momma and daddy just had me to fill a void."
"Jesus, girl. I love you but you need some help."
She rolls her eyes, "No shit." She pushed herself up from the couch and unzipped her luggage, "You drinkin' with me or what?" Lulu asks, holding up a bottle of Absolute.
"Joe said he poured it out."
"He's not as smart as he thinks."
"We don't need to drink, you've got a pay per view to call tomorrow."
"Never stopped us before."
He grabs the bottle from her hand, opening it, "And you say I'm the bad influence." And takes a long drink before handing it over to his sister. "You are a terrible influence." She reminds him. Drink after drink the siblings finished the bottle. Both of them laughing and crying, reminiscing and dreaming of a different life. It was the only time Lulu felt free from her burdens. Free from society's watchful, prying eyes.
Joe had hoped that his cousin being there would help Lulu to relax and get into a better place mentally but he was wrong. As he opened the door to their room the next morning he was greeted with a sad sight. A Vodka bottle just as big as the last lay empty on the floor, along with Lulu. Jon was laying upside in the bed. He shook his head, thinking that maybe he'd made a mistake asking him to come watch over Lulu. He shook Jon awake, "Wake thr fuck up!" he said harshly, shaking him harder.
"Ugh." Jon moaned and rolled over. Joe sat down on the bed as he finally came to. "You're supposed to be helping her not gettin’ drunk with her! Damn. I can't trust you to do anything!"
Jon rolled his eyes, rubbing his face to help wake himself up, "She's fine. She just needs to get it outta her system."
"The fuck she's fine. Look at her!" He exclaims, pointing to Lulu, "Still wearing yesterday's clothes, passed out on the floor of her hotel room. I can't watch both of you!" He yells. "Here." Joe shoves a bag of biscuits in Jon's face, "Eat some breakfast and sober her the fuck up, she's got a job to do."
"Stop yelling." Lulu groans quietly from the floor.
"Get the fuck up off the floor Lu!"
"Go away." She says, trying to sit up. Joe reaches down and pulls her to her feet. "I hate you." She moans, falling forward before he sits her on the bed.
"She don't mean it." Jon tells him while throwing the comforter over his sister as she laid down.
"Oh, I'm sure she does." Joe says, turning around on his heels, walking out the door.
"I do mean it." She chimes in as the door closes.
Before her life changed Lulu was a different person. She was outgoing and fun, she didn't need alcohol to make it through the day. She and Colby enjoyed traveling and spending time at their home in Iowa with their daughter. They lived a quiet, simple life together. If Lulu was being honest with herself she missed those days. Colby was at the point in his career that he didn't have to travel as much and they could live a somewhat normal life.
As she lay in the bed, wrapped up in the comforter she thought back to the night that Colby called her, police sirens and an ambulance wailed in the background. He wasn’t making sense, just rambling over and over that he thought she was gone. She had never heard her husband cry but he cried so hard that he could barely catch his breath, his words coming out a jumbled mess; a policeman on the scene took the phone from him and told Lulu what had happened. “Ma’am, I'm sorry to tell you that your husband’s Jeep hit a patch of ice and he and your daughter hit a tree.” She would never forget those words, they were forever etched into her memory. That was the night that her world was turned upside down.
In her heart she knew that Colby wasn't at fault but she had nowhere else to place the blame.
“You killed our baby!”
“I lost my daughter too! She wasn’t just yours.”
“She never had a chance at life because of you!”
“Don't you think I would trade places with her if I could? I lost my daughter and my fucking wife that night!
“Hey.” Jon says softly, leaning over his sister and pulling the cover back, “Why you cryin'?”
She angrily wiped the tears from her face and sat up. “I hate my life. I don't wanna do this anymore.”
He shook his head, fighting back tears of his own. It killed him to see his sister in so much pain and not be able to do anything to help her. That was his and Josh’s job, to protect her; his dad made them promise if she pursued a career in WWE that they would protect her at all costs. He felt like he’d failed. “Here. Eat something, you’ve got a big day today.” he wasn't really sure what else to tell her as he handed her a biscuit. She was so deep in her depression that he didn't know if she’d ever be the same again.
She hands him the biscuit back, “I'm not hungry.”
“I'm not asking, I'm telling you to eat.”
“Im so sick of people telling me what the fuck I need to do.”
“Lu, I'm just trying to help you, that’s all.”
“You know what I wish, I wish that y’all would just let me die so I can be with my daughter.”
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doll-elvis · 10 months
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Thoughts on Barbara Leigh and Susan Henning?
sorry I don’t know if you wanted to know something specific about them 😭 but I’m just gonna say I think they are really important ladies worth knowing, mainly for the fact (this might sound weird but lemme explain) that they both already had children while they dated Elvis👀
some wannabe psychologists *coughs* alanna nash *coughs* albert goldman *coughs* have said Elvis was so enmeshed with his mother that he could never be with a woman who had a child because it would be like incest with Gladys or some crazy shit (yes they have both actually said that💀) all in their attempt to vilify Gladys and make her out to be some obsessive and controlling figure that prevented Elvis from forming regular relationships. which I find to be so untrue and harmful to her. Gladys was such a sweet woman and a loving and devoted mother who literally just wanted some grandbabies, keep her name out of y’all’s books, I’m begging !! (plus she is all our honorary mother-in-law 💗)
so personally that’s why I think it’s important to read about susan henning’s and barbara leigh’s romance with elvis because it sheds light on that subject and shows that elvis was more than willing to be with the woman he liked, regardless if she had a child or not
also I think they are both very cool & iconic and they are serving looks here (+ Barbara Leigh’s book is rlly good) 🤠
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maximotts · 2 years
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OMG “i’ll kiss you if you want me to” and “i’m not used to being loved. i wouldn’t know what to do” mixed together with leigh… 👀 only if you want, obv :) <3!!
This was such a fun Leigh prompt!! I combined it with another one I got for her that I thought fit well so this request is a little long, but I hope y'all like it!!
❛ i’ll kiss you if you want me to. ❜ / ❛ i’m not used to being loved. i wouldn’t know what to do. ❜ / ❛ you’ve got an awfully kissable mouth. ❜ + Leigh Shaw; smut, angst that gets resolved, fluff at the end because I'm a soft bitch
1.3K words
f. scott fitzgerald prompts
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Leigh squirmed under you, her back arching off the bed as you mouthed over her breasts messily. As soon as you'd undone her bra, you had a one track mind, kissing and licking over every inch of smooth skin her open flannel allowed. Impatient was an understatement with how you were marking her up, savoring how her sounds got louder the more intense you are. “Fuck, Leigh, you’re beautiful.” 
Eventually your hand slid into the front of her gym shorts, fingers teasing over where you found a damp patch of cotton. “On your way to drenching yourself already and I’ve barely touched you… Were you waiting that long for this?”
From her soft gasp, you assumed no one had talked to her like this before, the quick shake of her head confirming. The two of you had fallen into bed together multiple times, but lately things had taken a turn. Your casual dates had turned more romantic, signing your texts off with hearts and sweet goodnight messages. All of this was new for Leigh again; she’d told you all about her past relationships and it warmed her heart how understanding you’d been, never rushing her or pressing for too much. Instead you moved forward subtly, with actions rather than words, but still you always wanted her to be upfront with you. 
Part of the new actions was sex and things or the sort. She hadn’t had much experience past her previous husband; being with women was new and fun, especially with how you taught her. Leigh loved exploring new things with you, there was never a time where you shamed her for her curiosities and desires, even when you found that she liked to be teased about them. “Go on, tell me how much you wanted this.” 
“I…” Nimble fingers bypassed her underwear, rubbing over her folds while she tried to keep her composure. “I called you over just for this.” Leigh was shocked by her own confession, eyes wide as she waited for you to mock her. But it never came. Instead your lips traveled to her nipple, sucking as soon as your fingertips hit her clit and leaving her gasping for air. “Oh, please… just like that…” 
You nodded, laving over the peaked bud as your thumb moved to roll circles at the same time. It was addicting, playing her body just to watch her twist and turn and beg for you, sinking two fingers past her entrance was almost as rewarding as fucking yourself. “God, I love you.” 
“W-What?” Three simple words had her head snapping up, eyes fully focused on your now frozen form. She wasn’t prepared to hear that, had really never bargained for a romantic utterance of that phrase again for the rest of her life. Leigh didn’t hate it, she just hadn’t… thought much of it. But her reaction left you pulling away and the instant she saw hurt twist your features, she regretted selfishly leaving you hanging. “I’m not.. mad. I didn’t ask you to stop.”
“Not mad, you just don’t feel the same.” You tried to shake it off with a chuckle, but you couldn’t hide the hurt you felt. You hadn’t been saying it just to say it… You loved her. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to say it, or maybe it was just you. Maybe she only saw you as something temporary— 
“Please, don’t. Don’t do that.” Leigh pulled you back until you were hovering over her, forced to look down at pleading green eyes. It was hard to explain how she simply didn’t expect it; she felt those feelings, but had instinctively shoved them away. “I love you too, I just…”
“Just what, Leigh? You don’t have to force yourself to say it back. That’s so much worse.” You wanted to believe her, Leigh had never lied to you before; one of the things you loved about her was how honest she was with her feelings. Maybe it made her unlikeable to some, but you adored her for it. But currently, right now, she was hard to accept. 
Leigh sighed, raising her hands just to cradle your face. She could feel you pulling away mentally, your internal spiral threatening to draw you away from her for who knows how long. No matter what her insecurities, Leigh couldn’t lose you, not over her own shortcomings. “I love you. Really, I do, but I'm not used to being loved. I wouldn’t know what to do.” 
She was more out of practice with love than she was sex. True intimacy meant having more to be responsible for, much more to lose if anything went wrong. The possibility of waking up with you not in her life any more scared her more every day, having grown to look forward to your goofy selfies and tight hugs; Leigh wasn’t stupid, she knew what that meant. “I don’t think I’m good at being loved, or loving people well. Sometimes I ask for too much or I’m selfish and I don’t, I can’t hurt you.”
“You could never hurt me.” You leaned down just enough to nose at her chin, just trying to remind yourself that she was real, she wasn’t rejecting you, and this was just another conversation you needed to have. “I can’t think of a time where you ever felt me feel uncared for, even on your worst days. Give yourself more credit.” She wound her arms around your waist, pulling you until you had to lay on her; all she needed was to feel your weight grounding her. Sometimes Leigh needed a physical anchor during serious discussions, good or bad, and you were always happy to provide. “Tell me how you need to be loved and I swear I’ll do everything to never make you think loving you could ever be a burden.”
You flipped the two of you so she could lay on your chest; Leigh yelped with the sudden change, but she understood. Just like she needed to feel grounded, you liked being able to hold her whenever you were at risk of spiraling too deep into your own brain. As soon as Leigh got her bearings, she clung to you like a koala, trying to hold you in place just in case you decided you’d rather leave. As much as she was known for expressing how she felt, this was completely different, vulnerable in a way she hadn’t had a chance to prepare for. The only bit she could offer was small, just a minor thing where, if denied, she could force herself to smile through it. “I like kisses… I feel like we don’t kiss enough.”
It was true, you had a thing about kisses. To you, they were more intimate than most acts and while you’d often give her a quick peck on the cheek goodbye, it was granted her a full kiss— those you held close to your heart. But you loved her, she loved you.. that came with trusting her to value what those kisses meant to you. “I’ll kiss you if you want me to.”
Leigh smiled, nodding eagerly, “I really want you to kiss me, right now.” Green eyes stared down at you, hoping she hadn’t missed her chance from earlier. She couldn’t remember the last time she wanted something so simple so badly, but right now it was important. Every day you proved you loved her and today you'd said it; it was her turn to show it back now. “I love you. Please kiss me.”
She wasn’t an easy girl to crack, but you didn’t love her because she was easy. You loved her because she was human, missteps, fears, and all. Closing the distance was easy, just a few inches separating you, and when you kissed Leigh now, it felt like the first time you ever did. You kissed to convey emotions and thankfully, you had so many for the woman laying on you. “You’ve got an awfully kissable mouth.” 
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