Imagine controlling Kevin Spencer and having him do ‘fun’ things to you.
When Kyle Spencer fell into your lap at Miss Robichaux’s Academy, you weren’t sure what to do at first. He was passed around between the other girls like a competition which made you a slight bit uncomfortable, but you grew to enjoy it. He was a cute little undead boy who was only around to give pleasure these days. That brain wasn’t used for much else, no matter how much you tried to teach him. So - you eventually started to use him for your own purposes. He was only too happy to oblige.
Of course, he just so happened to be diving in between your thighs when the weekly call from your parents came in. He raised his head slightly with a questioning look, asking whether he should continue. You ran his fingers through his soft hair, encouraging him back down.
“Yeah baby, you just stay down there,” You cooed, picking up the phone with a smile, tongue between your teeth. “Good evening, mom. You called at the perfect time.”
The conversation went onward, hearing about your neighbors gossip, how nanny was doing, dad came on to announce his newest promotion, and all the while, that tongue was swirling. Oh, it was getting you to a good place. Your breath was hitching. It was getting harder to concentrate.
“Is everything okay, honey?” Your mom asked, concerned.
“I just -” Oh god, so close. “- I think I feel a sneeze coming on. Sniffles. I gotta go. Love you, talk to you-” You didn’t even finish your sentence before hanging up, dropping the phone onto the ground and letting out mewls of excitement and pleasure as Kyle brought you there. “Oh - Kyle, you’re such a good boy,” You said, slumping down onto the bed after the spasms finished. “Very good boy.”
Requested by: Anonymous
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Project Honey Bee x Discworld Happened!
I am thrilled to no end that my husband adopted a honey bee queen for me for Christmas, which lucky me includes some adorable jewelry (I don't even wear gold metals but these are too cute NOT to).
And having a queen bee - you know who it must be named for.
Say hello to Granny Weatherwax. She and her hive are in New York apparently. Hopefully it's not too much a disappointment that it's not somewhere in the Ramtops.
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BECAUSE A CAR HAMMER EXPLOSION WHERE THE HAMMERS FLY EVERYWHERE KILLED MY GRANDMA
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tumblr live is just haunting me but. wait computer enhance
WHO IS AI GENERATING TUMBLR LIVE ICONS
who are these people. what is happening. real cool legitimate feature you guys got here @staff
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Watching Home Alone is so funny it’s like
Kevin’s mom: *hyperventilating into a paper bag* I can’t believe I left my son home alone, he has to be so terrified, my poor baby boy all alone I need to go get him-
Kevin: *actively planning to commit war crimes*
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actual intense analysis of the situation aside, I love that Steven has only ever professed to truly hate two people in the entire universe. One of them is the dictatorial leader of a society of colonizers who is quite literally the root of all of steven and his gem family's problems and also personally traumatized him by physically ripping a vital organ out of his body. The other is a teenager who harassed him and his friend at a party.
Guess which one he still talks to.
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Kevin McCarthy losing four five six seven eight ten consecutive Speaker of the House votes (so far) is legitimately one of the funniest things to ever happen. This is 2023's boat stuck in the Suez Canal. Something important has ceased working for the most hilarious possible reason and we are all watching desperate attempts to get it working again while secretly hoping it does not, and I think that's beautiful
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The Grass Wheel (2006)
Architects: David Gallaugher, Kevin James, & Jacob Jebailey
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