#Kate mckinnon is a close second

[unpassive-viewer]

Hi Barbie!

Saw Barbie this week, as everyone else probably did as well. Seeing everyone in hot pink was very wholesome.

The movie itself was... a lot. Not something I'd watch without the fanfare. Two hours of staring at hot pink was overwhelming, to say the least. It was definitely something I had to digest afterwards - it was like a two hour fever dream. The best thing I can liken it to was a very long SNL skit with incredible acting. Seriously, the actors in this film were pulling all the stops. Kate McKinnon in particular was great as Weird Barbie. Onto the review ~

The good:

The acting, obviously. Ryan Gosling was giving "Brad Pitt cameoing in Deadpool for the price of a coffee" - the man was LIVING. Absolutely setting the theatre kid in him free. Margot Robbie's crying scene was very real and emotional, I almost forgot I was watching a movie about a toy. America Ferrera is a goddess, I think she was perfect for her role.

The set design and costumes. Oh my goodness was the whole movie so fun. I might get crucified for this, but in terms of matching the whole set, this film reminds me of the 2003 Cat in the Hat. Unhinged and yet very well assembled.

The cinematography. The film was incredibly well shot. I loved the transition montages going between Barbieland and the real world, they were very different. I also liked the wide shots of Barbie, especially at the end. Also, as Alan from CinemaTherapy will tell you, the most versatile tool a director and actor have are close up shots of the actor. This movie employed that tactic expertly.

The comedy. Really well written, and clearly very often improvised. I felt like it drew a good balance.

The less good:

The pacing. While the monologues were amazing, I didn't feel like the movie gave viewers time to root for any of their characters... except Ken. I would have liked if we got more time with the humans beyond the car chase scene. I simply did not feel there was enough character development. Ken is... well, he's just Ken. He's simple and funny. I think I would like Stereotypical Barbie's narrative more with a second watch, it was just a lot to process on a 70 foot screen.

The theme. Do not get mad at me for this, please. I spent a lot of the film trying to figure out who the target audience of this film is, because all of the feminist overtones were so... obvious? America Ferrera's monologue in particular. Women already know all of what she said - it is born into us and moulded for our entire lives. And the part where the Mattel CEO tells Barbie to get back in the box... that felt like low hanging fruit. Was the purpose to make women feel seen, or was it an attempt to communicate something to a non-woman audience? Because that demographic has been touch and go with this whole production. It was a fun way to see it articulated, but I am still confused. Especially since Greta Gerwig's other films also touch on remarkably similar topics already. Who is this for?

Overall I think the societal reaction to this film has been more dramatic than anything contained in the movie itself. It does not make egregious statements - if anything it's a bit of a dumbed-down feminist message. Even the lyrics to the music makes is as easy as possible to comprehend the message that's being delivered. Greta Gerwig is not doing subliminal messaging, she wanted the whole audience to know EXACTLY what she was communicating... and somehow so many people still missed the point.

However, it has really seemed like the perfect storm in terms of timing and marketing reach. The fact that a message like this would get this big right now in the wake of all that is happening to women in the world - specifically the western world where this will be the most popular - is kind of incredible. I feel like Greta Gerwig is executing a Taylor Swift-level master plan.

Honestly, the most insane part of this to me is seeing all of the men who have complaints that Ken was "dumbed down" and cries of "not all men" as if there is not an obviously unproblematic man represented in the film. If you align yourself with Ken and not Alan... buddy do I have some news for you. But all of those arguments have been made already, so I will leave it at that.

Basically, go see Barbie. It's fun, it's a good balance of comedy and gut-wrenching grief for your girlhood and for your sisters, and the cult activity of everyone wearing pink to the theatre is like... my favourite thing. This was my Star Wars, people committed to the bit.

As a final thought I'd like to thank the guy who was sitting behind me in the theatre who was crying laughing at all the jokes, I think you brought me back to life with that.

#barbie #hi barbie #greta gerwig #ryan gosling #kate mckinnon #margot robbie #movie review #2023 movies #the barbie movie

[josiebelladonna]

you know what modern snl is missing? memorable, regular characters.

last night, before the new episode, there was an older one from 2007 (i think? linkin park was the musical guest and they played what i’ve done) and it featured a skit with one of kristen wiig’s regular characters, penelope: the redhead who talks very modestly and quickly and with a downward inflection and twirls her hair around her fingers, and she basically warps any conversation towards herself no matter how ridiculous or absurd. i was laughing the whole entire time.

since molly shannon was hosting, the cold open featured SUPERSTAR! and there was sopranos skit with sally o’malley. in between skits, you had those old macgruber vignettes (will forte as the macgyver parody). i laughed my way through those, too.

outside of maybe kate mckinnon’s ruth bader-ginsberg impression or kenan thompson’s big papi, both of which were rather short-lived, i can’t really remember most of newer snl. it’s almost exactly like what happened to the simpsons: the writing took a backseat to on-the-nose humor and celebrity cameos; in snl’s case, overly political humor. the older episodes were without question political, but they were a lot more subtle about it and guys like will ferrell and darrell hammond saw that it was all ripe for parody. the older episode, i was laughing every few seconds: the new one, i chuckled probably five times and it was more from benedict cumberbatch’s delivery than anything.

also, you know how middle-aged dudes making movies involving internet humor will always end horribly? well, it works the other way, too: internet humor just does not gel with tv or movies no matter who’s doing it, but snl’s current batch of writers are all people around or close to my age.

i know i sound like an old bat telling kids to get off my lawn, but this overly simplistic meme-based “it’s funny ‘cuz it’s true hur hur” tiktok/vine-style humor is good for joking with people on twitter, not shambling and hamfisting into a script that’s supposed to be a comedy show for us to watch late at night.

i can see how it can be funny to the right people, though, hence why this type of humor exists in the first place, but like i said... a regular person like me can’t remember it. i remember the theme song to macgruber a lot better than i remember what went down in that mother’s day skit with the signs (that actually made me sad more than anything). i remember sally o’malley going “KICK! STRETCH! AND KICK!” and darrell hammond as tony soprano better than that blue bunny skit, which i had to look up because i literally could not remember it (like i said, i laughed more at cumberbatch’s country accent than anything).

i hope characters come back, just like how i hope the current writers for the simpsons can layer jokes better.

#hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have but i have it #saturday night live #snl #snl 47 #text

[marvelslut16]

Oblivious

Prompt number: 18 “you don’t see it?”

Fandom: Saturday night live? Pete Davidson?

Paring: Pete Davidson x reader 

Rating: T

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: An asshole cheater. Mentions of Ariana Grande (yes that’s a warning- don’t come for me). Swearing. Mentions of slight sexting- just mentions boobs nothing graphic. Mentions rehab. Slightly angsty ends fluffy.

A/N: So I broke my one rule and wrote for an actual person. Pete Davidson is precious and doesn’t deserve the hate he gets. I was also almost hella basic because I was so close to titling this the king of Staten Island. Anywho, the cheating scum part of this story happened to me and I immediately thought Pete would never do this to me- so I wrote this lmao. I think my love for the Knicks seeped into this story a bit. 

You had been talking to a guy for close to three months now. You thought he was charming, and sweet, and he was built like a god! You’re friends were a little weary, none more than Pete, when you admitted you hadn’t met up with the man yet. Their faces would go from being happy for you to pitting you instantly. But you knew you weren’t being catfished, you video called with Henry multiple times a week. While Henry wasn’t your first choice, he never would be, you were starting to see a future with him. 

But that vision went to shit with one simple text. You had gotten a new bra, maroon and lacy, and boy did it make the girls look good! Feeling a little flirty in your new bra, you texted a picture to Henry to be a little tease while he was at work. Almost instantly you got a text back, and it read; ‘shit baby, you’re tits are way better than my girlfriends!’ with multiple heart eye and drooling emojis to follow. 

You had never felt more embarrassed in your life! And that’s saying something considering Pete makes jokes about you on SNL and in his standup routines, all approved by you beforehand of course. You had met Pete years ago, while he was scrawnier than he is now, had a lot less tattoos, and right when he was just starting SNL. You had bumped into him on the sidewalk while trying to catch a cab in the pouring rain, you expected to be yelled at with a thick New York accent for what felt like the millionth time that day, but it never came. Instead Pete hailed the cab for you but not before exchanging numbers and promising to show you around since you had just moved to the city for college. 

After showing you around the next day, you were surprised when he continued to text you for the next month. To pay him back for his generosity you took him to see a Knicks game, lucky for you your dormmate had a fight with her boyfriend so she sold the tickets to you for dirt cheap. The seats weren’t great, all the way up in the nosebleed section, but you were in Madison Square Garden watching the Knicks! Pete was pleasantly surprised by you when you could name the players and you actually knew how the game was played, unlike girls he had dated. Of course before you left the arena you had to splurge and got yourself a Carmelo Anthony jersey! 

Many years and Knicks games later you’re still friends with Pete. You’d call him your best friend, but you know Colson is his even if he claims it’s you when you’ve asked in the past. You’d be by Pete’s side every time he admitted himself into rehab- making sure you were there to pick him up when he got out. You had been there to pick up the pieces after Ariana- hell you were picking them up when they were still together. You were beside him every time he got bullied off his social media by stupid haters or little Ariana stans after they broke up. He made sure to be at your graduation, and he was there to rant to when you had a bad day at work. Pete was there to hold your hand when you got your first tattoo, which he wanted to pick out for you but you refused. Pete was there to pick up your pieces when a guy hurt you, like right now. 

You’re in his basement, curled into his right side, his right arm slung securely over your shoulder, his fingertips making soothing trails up and down your arm. You had convinced him to watch an old episode of SNL- before he was on it, but new enough that Kate McKinnon and Bill Hader were on it together. You snuggle further into his warm side and let out a content sigh. 

“You were too good for him, (Y/N/N),” Pete finally brings up the elephant in the room. You had hoped that watching an episode of SNL would put the ‘you deserve better than him, he’s just scum,’ talk Pete gives you every time you go through a break up.

“If I was too good for him, then I’d still be with him,” you murmur a line from the movie clueless into his baby pink sweatshirt covered chest. 

“None of these guys deserved you, (Y/N/N),” Pete says sternly, you roll your eyes not in the mood for him to tell you how amazing you are but not make a move on you, yet again.

“Pete, stop,” you pull away from his chest, his arm falling off you as you scoot to the front of the cushion. “I really don’t want to have this conversation again, no matter how many times you tell me I still won’t believe you. I should get going, don’t want to miss the last ferry back to the city.”

“(Y/N), please, wait,” Pete’s skinny fingers wrap around your wrist as you stand and go to walk towards the door. “We just ordered pizza, just stay the night.”

“I can’t Pete,” you whisper, staring down at your sock covered feet, you had gotten Pete to take better care of his hardwood floors by convincing him to have a no shoe policy. “Give some pizza to your mom and your sister.”

“You’re off tomorrow, you originally planned on staying,” if you didn’t know any better you’d say his voice was laced with hurt and disappointment. “Why won’t you stay now?”

“I can’t keep doing this Pete,” loud laughing coming from the studio audience on the now forgotten episode of SNL only seems to be mocking you and your feelings. “Every time you tell me how amazing I am and you don’t- it’s just hard to believe when no one seems to agree with the sentiment.” 

“You don’t see it?” his voice is soft, he stands from his seat, getting momentarily stuck in the blanket that was draped over your laps. “You really don’t see it,” this time it’s not a question, it’s a statement. 

“See what Pete?” he lets go of your wrist to spin you around to face him. 

“That I’m in love with you,” his eyes shine in sincerity, but they aren’t what you’re focusing on. “That I have been since that first Knicks game!”

“You don’t love me,” your voice shakes as you stare at the heart that was once Ariana’s bunny ears peaking out above his left ear. You reach up and gently trace your finger over the heart. “You’ve dated models, and movie stars. You were engaged to Ariana, even after you knew she didn’t want us to be friends. Because she didn’t trust me. You didn’t love me Pete, you chose her, and yet I was still there to pick up the pieces after you ignored me for months, because I love you. Because I didn’t care how much I was hurting, I knew I had to be there to make you feel better, to be able to see your smile again.”

“I was settling for Ariana!” he grabs your cheeks so you can’t look away. “I thought I could get her to warm up to you, I’ve never wanted you out of my life (Y/N)! You were with Eric at the time, it hurt like hell to see you that happy with someone that wasn’t me! So I proposed to Ariana because Eric bragged that he had a ring for you! But then you guys broke up and I couldn’t just break up with her right after I proposed.”

“Eric did propose, I said no and broke it off,” you smile sadly. “He, like Ariana, didn’t want us to spend time together, so I dumped him. All of the guys eventually realize they’re second to you, so they either break up with me or ask me not to see you anymore. And I was selfish every single time, I hurt them so I could be happy with you in my life.” 

“Fine, you want the truth?” Pete asks, and you nod. “It wasn’t the Knicks game. I knew I wanted to date you that night. But the first time I knew I loved you was when you came with my mom to pick me up from rehab the first time after we were. You didn’t run far away from me, you still wanted to be around me and you put up with my shit. Everyone leaves when I go to rehab, they think I’m too much to handle.”

“Well I don’t! I never have Pete!” you’re crying by now. 

“I know! Fuck, you’re too damn perfect for me (Y/N). I convinced myself for so long you were too good for me, that you couldn’t love me,” you don’t know how to verbally respond, so you do the first thing that comes to your mind. 

You grab the back of Pete’s neck and pull him into a kiss, it’s all teeth and tongue. The passion sends jolts of electricity through your body, a wave of giddiness rolls over you as you realize that this is really happening. You’re really kissing Pete, he really loves you too. As the kiss continues it becomes slower and more gentle, both of you want this feeling to last as long as it can. When you finally pull back, lungs burning and desperately in need of air, the feeling of his lips linger on yours. 

“I do love you, (Y/N/N). There’s never really been anyone else,” he caresses your cheek and gently brushes his lips on your forehead. 

“I love you too Pete,” you lean in for a peck, which he quickly deepens. You pull away giggling, “so much.”

Permeant tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny​

#pete davidson x reader #fictober20 #day 6 of fictober #Pete Davidson #pete davidson snl #fictober 2020 #fictober #i love pete davidson #pete davidson x you #pete davidson x y/n #snl #snl imagine #this man deserves the world #pete davidson imagine #pete davidson fanfiction #pete davidson one shot

[alittledizzy]

what are your favorite snl sketches? i'm always looking for new ones

ok this is gonna be a somewhat long list so instead of embedding i'm just gonna link

game show sketches: what's that name? another what's that name? dylan mcdermott or dermot mulroney black jeopardy with tom hanks can i play that? meet your second wife misc sketches i just love: close encounter earthquake news report superspreader event chad horror movie kellywise (i love kate mckinnon) powerpoint

fake commercials: frozen 2 amazon echo my little step children almost pizza voters for trump target wells for boys music videos: bottom of your face welcome to hell spooky song pride month song sump'n claus back home ballers kellyanne conway (i'm sorry i just love kate a lot)

i could probably keep going but i just realized i really should be working and this list is long enough anyway whoops

#anon asks

[some-lists]

10 Documentary Series for the Wanderluster

If you’re sick of being stuck indoors and isolated from the rest of the world, you might find yourself binge watching travel documentaries just like me.

I’ve always loved traveling. I’ve been to a handful of places, but there’s so much more out there. These docu-series will make you want to get off your butt and hop on a plane ASAP. Of course, that’s not really an option in this pandemic, but these shows can offer a nice dose of escapism right in your living room.

These are just a few available to stream that I really loved. (Btw, most of these are about food. Because I love food.)

1. Somebody Feed Phil

I love this show. Everybody Loves Raymond creator Phil Rosenthal travels to some of the most beautiful locations around the world to try the best foods. He meets with locals, expats, and world renown chefs who show him the best local dishes and their culture. Phil isn’t the best food critic. Most of his commentary consists of, “Mmm, that’s good!” But his cheery, friendly demeanor makes for easy watching as he casually befriends locals in every international city he visits. Oh, and the theme song is killer.

Watch it on: Netflix

2. Street Food: Asia & Latin America

Get ready to be hungry! Made from the same people behind Chef’s Table, this series takes you to a different country in each episode. Street Food: Asia and Street Food: Latin America are actually listed separately on Netflix. But they are essentially two different seasons of the same show. You’ll meet local street chefs who’ve made their living cooking and selling their best comfort foods on the street. They share their stories of hardship, determination, sacrifice, joys, and successes. Each episode has close ups of every dish that will have you salivating.

Watch it on: Netflix

3. Gordon Ramsay: Uncharted

Season One of this National Geographic series is currently available on Disney Plus. We see chef Gordon Ramsay travel to some remote locations, where he not only learns about their local ingredients, but has to forage and hunt them himself. At the end of each episode, we see him face off with a famous chef from each region. It’s beautifully shot with some really breathtaking views of these amazing landscapes. We see the vast Sacred Valley of Peru, majestic glaciers of New Zealand, and tropical blue waters of Hawaii. Now, if only Disney Plus would release the second season.

Watch it on: Disney Plus

4. Down to Earth with Zac Efron

Down to Earth with Zac Efron is not just a feast for the eyes, but a series that will make you think. Zac Efron travels with his friend, Darin Olien, to learn about various methods of sustainable living. We learn about sustainable energy in Iceland, fresh water in France, and blue zone diets in Italy. They also take the time to explore and enjoy the best leisure activities and cuisine in each country.

Watch it on: Netflix

5. Conan Without Borders

Conan Without Borders is a segment of his talk show that is now available on Netflix (but only the first season). Of course, you can still watch more on YouTube, but those videos are cut into shorter segments. Conan’s buffoonery is put to good use as he travels to learn about other people and their countries. His shtick is the clueless, ignorant American abroad. It’s an honesty that’s rewarding, as he shows these countries in a light few Americans get to see. He’s hilarious in each episode as he accidentally (or not so accidentally) offends, but also learns from the locals in each country.

Watch it on: Netflix, YouTube

6. Travel Man: 48 Hours In...

Travel Man has had 10 seasons, and 7 (ish) of them are on Hulu. It’s a recent discovery for me, so I’m still making my way through the episodes. Richard Ayoade travels to a different city with a different celebrity for 48 hours. They do a lot of the typical things the average tourist would do. It features transportation, checking into a hotel (usually on the higher end), seeing the sites, and exploring different foods. Most of the celebrities who join him are British, so I’m not too familiar with them. It probably works better if you know who they are, but it doesn’t matter. Richard Ayoade’s dry humor makes each trip amusing regardless.

Watch it on: Hulu

7. Jack Whitehall: Travels with My Father

British comedian Jack Whitehall takes a belated gap year trip with his 70-something year old father. The stark contrast between their personalities make for a very interesting vacation. We go on a real ride with the two as we get to know them and as they grow from the experience. Jack is full of energy and definitely more open minded of the two, but we can also see why his father gets annoyed with him. He’s a big kid and, at times, spoiled. At first Jack’s father comes across as snobby and ignorant, but we learn to laugh at his biting humor and his efforts to connect with Jack. We also get a bit of a different view of each location. We visit eccentric temples in Thailand, watch trained rats search for mines in Cambodia, check out motocross skiing in Germany, and more.

Watch it on: Netflix

8. Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

Seasons 7 and 8 of the late Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations can currently be viewed on Hulu. If you’re a humanitarian at heart, this one is for you. Anthony Bourdain is after truth. He’s not interested in commercialized tourist traps or filtered Instagram photo ops. He’s after the real place, the real people, and the real history. He visits disadvantaged populations around the world. He meets with locals, journalists, and humanitarians in each country. Their conversations are often about poverty, political corruption, and marginalization. But he also has some lighter missions as well. A trip to Naples in search of the real Italian food experience. A discovery of Croatian culinary greatness. A cook off in Tokyo between the world’s greatest chefs. What we see is not always pretty. Sometimes it’s truly upsetting. But sometimes it’s great too. Either way, it’s the truth. What Anthony Bourdain ultimately does is capture the heart of the people, something traveling tourists often overlook.

Watch it on: Hulu

9. Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner

I’m not a huge David Chang fan. I’ve only made it through one episode of Ugly Delicious. (It was the curry episode, because I love Indian food.) But I found Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner a much easier watch. It’s a lot more chill. There are only four episodes. (That helps.) He and a celebrity friend tour a different city, try the food, and just chat it up. This series focuses more on location and culture, rather than just the food itself. The personalities of his celebrity guests help provide color and humor to each episode. Kate McKinnon, as always, is a delight.

Watch it on: Netflix

10. Tales By Light

Tales By Light follows photographers around the world as they capture stunning works of art. This is a must see if you love art, especially photography. Watch humpback whales dance under water in Tonga, the colorful Festival of Holi in India, abandoned desert ghost towns of Namibia, and indigenous cultures of Australia. Season 3 is especially sobering. Photographer Simon Lister and UNICEF ambassador Orlando Bloom travel to Bangladesh to capture portraits of children in need. You’ll marvel at the beauty, but also cry for the less fortunate.

Watch it on: Netflix

#wanderlust #travel #documentaries #docuseries #travel show #netflix #hulu tv #disney plus #somebody feed phil #street food netflix #gordon ramsay #down to earth with zac efron #conan without borders #conan o brien #jack whitehall travels with my father #jack whitehall #anthony bourdain no reservations #anthony bourdain #tales by light #travel man #breakfast lunch and dinner

[greenhatsinthesky]

lockdown film no. 42 - Bombshell (2019) dir. Jay Roach

02/06/2020

- i just watched a youtube video about Charlize Theron’s makeup and it was so good that they had to put a statement at the beginning saying that all the portrayals in this film are by actors

- I really hated the title card on the lift. come on. give me more

- CASEYBABY

- “Trump has a problem with women” “can you back that up?” “yes” *whacks down The Folder*

- my god this cast is outrageous. I can't recognise Charlize Theron at all; Noah vosen is Nicole Kidman’s lawyer; one of the sisters from a cinderella story works in makeup and bloody Malcolm mcdowell is Rupert Murdoch ?? 

- wow the scene with Rudi bakhtiar when he said he wanted to see the inside of her hotel room and internally she was going “apologise. Make it your fault.” Ow 

- the moment where Kayla was in that guys office and he shuts the blinds and we’re excluded for a millisecond was fucking creepy

- it’s really cool to see Kate McKinnon in a non comedy role. We see her on snl and all these fantastic comedies (some less fantastic but she’s still great) but I hadn’t seen her in a really intense drama before, especially

- oh my god I remember when I first watched this I absolutely lost my mind when Kate mckinnon and Margot Robbie started having a gay time 

- “yes well you have to bring a vibrator from home to the convention. The question is what does a man do with a vibrator?” Their chemistry in this scene I’m literally dead. 

- holland Taylor taking Kayla to see Roger felt an awful lot like Daniel going to the lion’s den. And then Kayla walks in and holland Taylor closes the door and were on the outside again

- first time I watched the scene with Kayla in rogers office when he tells her to pull up her skirt I legitimately thought I was gonna throw up

- it makes me really genuinely upset the amount of women in this film (and absolutely the amount of women in real life) who are apologists for rapists and all round despicable men because they’ve been brainwashed to believe that everything that happens to them in trealtion to men is their fault. Or even if they know its not their fault (see Rudi bakhtiar) they know they have to make the man as comfortable as possible to try and preserve their own safety because there’s no knowing what they would do if you made this person more angry, even though its not their responsibility to monitor someone who’s feelings are their own problem 

- maybe I was just watching it wrong but I felt like the scene where there were different cards with the women talking about what had happened to them could have been much stronger

- i think one fundamental problem with this film is that there are literally no people of colour here at all. We all know fox is racist and so it would likely hire white people at a greater rate than people of colour but I cannot believe it was only white women being harassed in this workplace. As well as this, Kayla is a fictional character. Jess isn’t based on a real person, but someone like her probably existed, and both of their storylines are really interesting. Racist white people have space for people of colour if they aren’t “loud” about their identity and if they can imitate the racism of the white people around them. In the same way that the men in this film have time and space for misogynistic women. I’m just a bit mad that the writers decided to add fictional characters but the only fictional characters are white, in a sea of characters based on real white people. Also, the only talk about race is the bit about father christmas, really ?

- the scene with the news women saying how great Roger is and how they’ve never been told what to wear and how they need trousers because it’s kicking off about a leg cam but they’ve never been fitted for trousers and they’re putting these crazy high heels on their feet with plasters all over the gaff was pretty wild. I liked it. It was very sad

- even on second watch the scene where calls jess and they talk on the phone. Fuck. Robbie’s acting here is outstanding and mckinnon takes it perfectly from having jokes about having a heart attack about bill o’reilly calling her when actually its Kayla to being so supportive about talking to lawyers about what Roger did and why she wasn’t able to help her before all the stuff came out and how her position at her job is so precarious because she’s gay. And then she can tell Kayla’s not ok and she can’t really do anything but she’s there for her as much as she can be. I also appreciate the fact that there isn’t actually a scene in this film where anyone is physically harassed — the scene where Roger tells Kayla to pull her skirt up and the flashback where he goes for megyn is all we get

- it might not have been deliberate but in the scene where Rupert Murdoch says “i hate that its come to this” and Roger says “me too” made me a bit yiKES

- overall I think this is fine, but for a topic so rich its kind of a shame the film isn’t better. I’m not sure what its lacking but I think of other things I’ve seen like the show Mrs. America and how the ending of that absolutely shattered me, and that’s what I wanted from this. The jess/kayla storyline I found to be one of the more engaging things about the film, which like I say is strange in a film with this topic. I don’t know. The acting is good, the makeup and prosthetics are frankly out of this world - it was just a shame to me that other aspects were a bit lacking

#bombshell #jay roach #charlize theron #megyn kelly #nicole kidman #gretchen carlson #kayla pospisil #john lithgow #roger ailes #kate mckinnon #jess carr #connie britton #beth ailes #malcolm mcdowell #rupert murdoch #allison janney #susan estrich #rob delaney #gil norman #mark duplass #douglas brunt #liv hewson #lily balin #brigette lundy paine #julia clarke #katie aselton #nazanin boniadi #rudi bakhtiar #andy buckley #gerson zweifach

[justtoarguewithyou]

9/26: Solitude

my contribution to the @swottypotter comfort minifest. :)

Sirius had broken out his uncle’s bottle of Old Midleton Irish whiskey. It was nearly time for a new bottle, as the refilling charm only worked so many times before whatever you were refilling tasted slightly of vinegar.

This whiskey was nothing like vinegar, though. It still tasted like vanilla, and fruit and the way the sun had shone on the golden grain the day it was harvested.

Sirius was in an artificially good mood, thanks to the whiskey. He listened to “Corcovado” for the third time in a row. The Getz/Gilberto record was one of many incredible things he had inherited from Uncle Alphard. Alphard had left him the whiskey, the records, his flat, an embarrassingly large fortune.

This record was calming. He needed it, as he was waiting for Remus to come home. Remus was overdue.

About a month before, after an interminably long and boring Order meeting, Albus had pulled Remus aside to give him his orders while Sirius was talking James and Lily into going out.

Sirius had just wanted to go out and get pissed with his friends. The Prewetts were always game for a laugh. Alice and Frank were going home to “have an early evening,” Frank had said, but they all knew what that meant. There was a lot of winking, and Fabian had teased Frank as Alice stepped into the fireplace. Frank had shot Fabian a vee, and floo’ed after her, saying Fabian was just jealous that he wasn’t getting any.

Fabian had shrugged. He certainly wasn’t.

Later, after they’d gone out, had laughed as much as they could, and were drunkenly undressing each other, Remus told Sirius that Albus had given him instructions regarding his werewolf liaison missions. He was leaving for a month, and that he was under strict instructions not to disclose any of it.

And Remus hadn’t. Not really. He told Sirius, because of course he told Sirius. Their reasoning was, if they shared everything with each other, they would know who had blabbed if it was information that only the other person was supposed to know.

“It’s a kind of insurance, isn’t it,” Sirius had said, kissing Remus, languidly, “I won’t have us ruining a perfectly good friendship and our truly spectacular sex life,” Sirius had added, divesting Remus of his sweater vest and unbuttoning his shirt another night after another interminably long Order meeting, “over a megalomaniacal You Know Who and a bunch of power-hungry, pretentious and pompous Slytherins.”

Remus had laughed at his alliteration, and then they had very intense, and incredibly sloppy…

Absolutely not thinking about that, Sirius thought, as Side B finished playing, and the arm lifted the needle off the record. He got up and turned the record over, and vocalized along to the opening bars of “The Girl from Ipanema.”

It had been their first moon apart in however many months. And for one month, Sirius had been very steadfast, and brave, and very patient. He’d run errands for the Order. He had eaten regularly (he knew Remus would get after him if he didn’t). He’d seen James and Lily, gone to Order meetings when they were called.

But he’d begun to unravel on the 31st day, and now, on the 32nd day, he’d been up since 6 a.m., and was drinking his second glass of whiskey at 10 a.m., and rifling through Uncle Alphard’s albums.

Sirius put on “Jazz at Massey Hall” for a few minutes, then let out a deep breath and put on Kate Bush’s “The Kick Inside,” but he decided he couldn’t listen to any of Remus’s albums.

He took it off and put on The Scream by Siouxie and the Banshees. He tapped along impatiently to “Pure.” But when, “Jigsaw” came on.

“This sounds like something the bartenders play when it was closing time at the pub, and they want everyone to leave immediately,” Remus had said.

Sirius had punched him playfully, and they’d kissed their way through the rest of the album and had very sloppy and incredibly intense… Sirius laughed to himself. There was no getting away from thinking about a naked Remus. It distracted him from thinking about a post-transformation Remus, who most likely needed him very much.

Sirius lay down near the stereo speakers, and thought about the several quiet conversations that he and James had had over the past several months since joining the Order. He and James were never quite sure what they thought of Albus Dumbledore. He was brilliant, yes, but there was something so very sly about him, too.

“He plays his cards very close to his chest,” James had said. “And I don’t understand the need for secrecy amongst our own.”

“I’m not sure I like it, either,” Sirius had replied.

Sirius sighed, and put on The Clash, and even broke out The Stooges for old time’s sake. Gideon had invited him to a pub that night. He needed to eat and stop drinking if he was going out later. If he was going to get through another day of waiting for Remus.

He left the flat and went to get some apples, peanut butter, the chocolate biscuits that Remus was partial to. He bought bacon and eggs and bread. He even bought a few vegetables. He remembered to get more tea for Remus: Earl Grey, jasmine, oolong, Darjeeling, Ceylon. Anything that struck Sirius’ fancy. They’d run out before Remus left. He also needed feverfew, lavender and chamomile from the apothecary.

He ran his errands, and picked up some take away he barely wanted. He went home to the (still) empty flat. He went out with Gideon.

He came home to the (still) empty flat and slept alone. He hated sleeping alone.

He waited.

The 33rd day was much like the 32nd day, except James and Lily came to feed him dinner, and he didn’t go to a pub. Instead, they finished what was left of a bottle of vodka together, and told stories, and gossiped about Order members.

“Did you know that Marlene McKinnon was seeing Dorcas Meadows?” Lily asked.

Sirius did know. “I saw them at the Moonlight Club earlier this summer, snogging while Adam Ant was onstage,” he said. “Marlene’s leather-clad swagger rivals my own. Dorcas had painted her eyes in heavy liner, and she’d teased her hair.”

Lily was absolutely chuffed.

“What about Peter and Mary MacDonald? Is Peter really interested, or do you think it’s going to be another Hestia Jones situation?”

James and Sirius just shrugged. Neither was sure they would ever understand Peter’s love life.

“I really do feel that Peter has not, might never, get over Amelia Bones…” Lily said, opening one of Remus’s chocolate bars. Sirius frowned, but said nothing. He’d get Remus more chocolate tomorrow. It would get him out of the house.

All evening, while talking with his friends, he waited. His skin crackled with the waiting.

Sirius slept alone. He hated it.

On the 34th day, Sirius finally finished the Old Midleton and went around to three liquor stores looking for a replacement. He blessed Uncle Alphard and his bank account when the shop owner rung him up for two bottles of the stuff. The shop owner had looked like Christmas had come early.

He went to Diagon Alley. He ate something. Probably.

Later, he felt very maudlin, and broke out his secret copy of The Carpenters’ The Singles 1969-1973, which he hid in the sleeve of a recording of Beethoven piano sonatas. He thought of Remus, and how they’d only just begun to live…

He fell asleep after listening to songs off at least 30 different albums.

The 35th day, he woke up, hid his Carpenters album, and went to brush his teeth. He almost choked on his toothpaste when he heard a key turn in the front door.

“Sirius?” Remus called.

Sirius practically apparated out of the bathroom, and held Remus so so close, almost as if he could hide Remus inside himself.

“Moony, Moony, Moony,” he cooed, his hands in Remus’s hair, pressing desperate kisses to his mouth, feeling Remus relax, melting against Sirius’s chest. “I’ve been so miserable without you.”

#10daysofhealing #wolfstarcomfortminifest #justtoarguewithyou #day 8: solitude

[alternislatronemhq]

see the application for elizabeth nott below.

OOC

name — kate age — 26 pronouns — she/her timezone — est

IC Overview

name — elizabeth agnes nott (nee rosier) faceclaim — phoebe tonkin age — 28 gender — cis-female sexuality — hetersexual patronus — fox {following the felines, the fox slinks into fifth place. Foxes are cunning, resourceful and fiercely intelligent – remind you of anything? That’s right – we wouldn’t be surprised if some members of Slytherin house find themselves with a fox Patronus. Foxes are also highly adaptable and can live in many diverse habitats around the world. If deep down you’re channelling the fox, you’ll likely have resilience in spades.} boggart — a prison cell — elizabeth would do anything to get her husband freed, but her greatest fear is that she’ll get herself imprisoned and leave her daughter without either parent.

IC In Depth

personality traits —

+ resourceful — elizabeth has a gift for making something out of nothing. she knows how to spin every situation and set of circumstances to her benefit, which has been an invaluable skill in the wake of her master’s demise. she never gives up, and will use anything and anyone at her disposal to get what she’s after.

+ charismatic — elizabeth has a gift for drawing the attention and affection of a crowd. she has a way of carrying herself with confidence and ease that makes people stop and listen. she is also a physical beauty, which she uses to her advantage when she needs to. the way she carries herself as she speaks means that people stop and listen to what she has to say, and she finds it easy to bend others to her way of seeing things.

- cruel — elizabeth doesn’t shy away from the darker parts of serving the dark lord. she’s not squeamish in the face of torture or murder, and is a talented enough witch that she’s able to use her magic to get what she needs from those who are unwilling to comply. she’s not off her rocker like bellatrix, but she knows how to turn off her more feminine sensibilities when she needs to get the job done.

- demanding — elizabeth has high demands for the people in her life. she sets the bar of expectations high and if someone doesn’t meet it, they suffer her displeasure. in her current role of leading the remaining loyal death eaters, elizabeth takes her leadership seriously and is nearly as demanding as her master would be if he were the one leading things.

character biography —

elizabeth was the firstborn of the rosier family, but only by a few minutes. her twin brother evan followed soon after, and it didn’t matter that she appeared first, because evan was the heir. still, elizabeth wasn’t tossed away, but treasured by her parents just as much as evan. while he was raised to learn how to continue the rosier legacy by keeping the family name, elizabeth was raised to think of how to further that legacy by taking another’s. she and evan were the best of friends as children — constant playmates in their free time and classmates in the strict regimen of lessons that the rosiers expected their children to learn.

but where evan was always the more sensitive and compassionate of the two, elizabeth was as hardened as her parents wanted their heirs to be. the dark lord was beginning to make a name for himself, and the rosiers planned for their children to be on the right side of things. they both fulfilled their parents’ expectations by being sorted into slytherin, but while elizabeth kept her friendships within the superior house, evan branched out, though at least he didn’t make friends with any mudbloods (though blood traitors weren’t much better, and everyone knew that the McKinnons and Boneses weren’t the right kind of pureblood). elizabeth gathered a tight group of friends around her, establishing herself as their leader early on and using that to her advantage throughout her time in hogwarts. elizabeth excelled at her academics, but it was the social game that she really thrived in, and the connections she made as a child have been the ones that have sustained her throughout the disgrace that was to follow.

elizabeth always knew that she would marry for duty, not for love. but somehow she seemed to catch the eye of one of the most eligible bachelors on her parents’ preferred list of suitors, stephen nott. He wasn’t the firstborn, but his family was wealthy enough that it didn’t matter that stephen was only a second son — he was set to inherit just as much as theodore, and the nott name was just as respected as the rosiers. it made perfect sense, and the fact that elizabeth felt butterflies when he smiled at her was just an added bonus.

stephen was amused at the fact that elizabeth treated their relationship like a business transaction, but her mind was exactly one of the things he had been so drawn to, so he didn’t really mind. it wasn’t until after they were gone from hogwarts and married that elizabeth finally let herself consider what it might be like to love the man she had yoked her life to, and to her surprise, love didn’t make her weak. if anything, it made her stronger.

stephen was serving the dark lord even before he left hogwarts, following in the footsteps of his father and brother, and it wasn’t long before elizabeth’s sharp eye and keen mind caught the attention of his master. they were thrilled with the privilege that it was to be sought after by the dark lord, and elizabeth gladly took the mark that her husband already bore. they threw themselves into fighting for his cause, both proving themselves to be loyal soldiers as well as masterful minds. it wasn’t long before they were both welcomed into voldemort’s inner circle as his most prized strategist (elizabeth) and his most skilled duellist (stephen).

they were both so focused on serving their master that producing an heir just wasn’t a concern for them, until one day elizabeth discovered that she was pregnant. of course, they were both ecstatic, longing to have children to fill the nursery, but there was a bit of loss to it, for being pregnant meant that for a time, elizabeth would need to take a backseat from her death eater duties. she was fully committed to returning after giving birth, but unfortunately, she was only a couple months into her pregnancy when the dark lord fell, condemning her husband to prison.

elizabeth escaped, partially because of the sympathy people felt when considering the growing bump and partially because she was so skilled at talking her way out of things. she would have been happy to go to azkaban for her master, of course, but she would serve everyone better from outside of the prison walls, and now she had someone else to think about.

for the first time in her life, elizabeth’s thoughts weren’t totally consumed by her own interests. she hadn’t met this child yet, but already elizabeth felt like a mother, and her primary concern became caring for the life that was growing within her.

when she gave birth to a daughter months later, she allowed herself one moment of disappointment that it wasn’t the male heir that they had hoped for, but her heart had been captured by the writhing little figure even before she made her appearance. the baby was named elizabeth after her mother (as elizabeth and stephen had discussed ages ago), nicknamed liza. liza became elizabeth’s first priority, and anyone who was lucky enough to see mother and daughter interact were privileged to see a side of elizabeth that nothing else would ever bring out.

these last five years have been a trying time for elizabeth. she’s delighted in watching liza grow, but that delight is tainted with the sorrow of knowing everything that stephen is missing. she thinks about him constantly, wondering how he’s doing in azkaban. they exchange letters as often as they are able, and the few times she’s been able to visit he seems saner than the rest of their kin, but elizabeth knows what the dementors do to a person, and she worries that even if she does get him back, he won’t be the same man as the one who left.

elizabeth is determined to bring back her master, and she’s gathered a tight group of death eaters around her in the hopes of finding out a way to do this. suspecting that even some of those she’s closest to in life (narcissa, lucius, evan) are not as loyal as they might appear, she’s only recruited those she can really trust, which means that their work has been kept secret so far, and she hopes to keep it that way for as long as possible. she’s getting closer to finding where her master is in hiding and discovering a way to bring him back to full strength, but she needs more time.

plot ideas

family matters — wow, so much to be explored here. first of all, there’s her relationship with evan. he’s her twin. there are few people in the world that elizabeth loves, and evan is one of them. but she suspects he’s not as eager as he might seem to return to the old days, and that worries her. has evan given into his softer sensibilities? and then there’s narcissa and lucius. they’re cozied up a little too close to the very people that their master would seek to eradicate. surely they’ve given up hope. elizabeth loves them, but she’s not sure if that love is enough to make her stick her own neck out in order to protect them. and then there’s alice, a cousin just like narcissa, whose mother-in-law was the one to defeat elizabeth’s master. it’s assumed that they don’t have much of a relationship — what is it like when these women encounter one another in the world?

leading the charge — elizabeth is leading the acting death eaters, so of course she’s at the heart of a lot of chaos and drama possibilities. I’ll be eager to explore what it looks like, how comfortable she’s gotten with leadership. will she really be ready to hand the reins over to her master after five years of being the head honcho?

mother above all — before anything else, elizabeth is a mother. she thinks that she’s doing what’s best for her daughter in trying to get stephen back, but what if she somehow realized that fighting for the dark lord was not the best way to protect liza? if she’s torn between her loyalty to her master and her loyalty to her daughter, what would elizabeth choose? even I don’t know.

#al:accepted

[felicereviews]

Road to Morocco (1942)

Bing Crosby and Bob Hope are on a raft lost at sea.   The two land in Morocco, have an encounter with a camel, and compete to marry a princess, played by Dorothy Lamour while the villain (Anthony Quinn) tries to stop her.  

It’s a really funny movie.  I laughed out loud at a lot of the schtick and gags.  And the music is pretty good too.

Road to Morocco was nominated for 2 Oscars - Best Writing, Original Screenplay and Best Sound Recording.  It didn’t win, but the Road movies were wildly popular and when you watch it, you will see why.

I was thinking - why don’t they use hologram Bob Hope to host the Oscars?  He was the best host, with Billy Crystal coming in a close second, and my man Mork coming in third.

On a side note, the same day I watched Road to Morocco I was challenged by Lindy West to name 20 female comedians.  Here is my list of 24, made without the use of Google, in no particular order and I’m sorry if I fucked up the spelling.

Phyllis Diller

Lily Tomlin

Joan Rivers

Ruth Buzzy

Ellen

Sarah Silverman

Amy Schumer

Maria Bamford

Rita Rudner

Tina Fey

Amy Poehler

Maya Rudolph

Rachael Dratch

Carol Burnett

Kate McKinnon

Kristen Wiig

Lucille Ball

Mindy Kaling

Vickie Lawrence

Madeline Kahn

Ali Wong

Rachel Bloom

Tiffany Haddish

Issa Rae

Thank you for making me laugh.  Women are funny.

#road to morocco #bing crosby #bob hope #dorothy lamour #anthony quinn #31daysofoscar #best original screenplay nominee #best sound nominee #female comedians #lindy west #bob hope hologram #best oscar host #women are funny #tcm #tcm party

[tabloidtoc]

Us, July 22

Cover: Team Taylor Swift vs. Scooter Braun’s Squad -- Who’s Lying? (if you want this story or anything else scanned, let me know!)

Page 1: First Look -- Jessica Alba in Milan 

Page 2: Red Carpet -- Suits -- Halsey, Yara Shahidi, Maisie Williams, Regina Hall

Page 3: Angela Bassett, Ellie Goulding, Jourdan Dunn, Glenn Close, Piper Perabo 

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Emily Ratajkowski vs. Gigi Hadid, Andie MacDowell vs. Jessica Chastain, Sienna Miller vs. Bella Hadid 

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Alan Cumming, Kate McKinnon on Elizabeth Warren, Terry Crews, Tyra Banks on Rihanna, Dax Shepard

Page 7: Contents 

Page 10: Hot Pics -- The U.S. Women’s soccer team won the World Cup 

Page 11: Milo Ventimiglia, Pippa and James Middleton, Teyana Taylor 

Page 12: Gaten Matarazzo and Caleb McLaughlin, Candace Cameron Bure 

Page 14: Dua Lipa and Anwar Hadid, Cardi B, The cast of The Lion King -- Billy Eichner, Shahidi Wright Joseph, JD McCrary, Seth Rogen, Florence Kasumba, Donald Glover, Beyonce Knowles-Carter, Alfre Woodard, Chiwetel Ejiofor, John Oliver, Keegan-Michael Key, Eric Andre 

Page 16: Furever Friends -- Eric McCormack and one of his rescue pups, Kevin Hart’s son Enzo and dog Roxy, Andy Cohen and dog Wacha, Lauren Conrad and puppy 

Page 18: Stars and Stripes -- Irina Shayk, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake and son Silas, Olivia Culpo, Behati Prinsloo 

Page 19: Ashley Iaconetti and Jared Haibon, Jana Kramer and husband and kids, Tiffani Thiessen and husband and kids, January Jones, Hilary Swank 

Page 20: Family Matters -- Stephen “tWitch” Boss and Allison Holker with son Maddox, Ciara and Russell Wilson and daughter Sienna, Neil Patrick Harris and husband and twins 

Page 22: Stars They’re Just Like Us -- Lady Gaga, Gwen Stefani, Rihanna 

Page 23: Chris Pine, Sharon Stone 

Page 24: Float On! Britney Spears, Khloe Kardashian’s daughter True, Ashanti, Julianne Hough, Nina Dobrev 

Page 26: Lauren Burnham on parenthood 

Page 28: Miranda Lambert is returning to work 

Page 29: Evan Spiegel appreciates Miranda Kerr’s inner beauty, Shay Mitchell is six months pregnant, Val Chmerkovskiy and Jenna Johnson had a second wedding in Jenna’s hometown on Provo, Utah 

Page 30: Leah Remini is considering legal action because she feels Scientology got her show Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath cancelled 

Page 31: Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello are fueling dating rumors, Adele is taking her revenge body very seriously 

Page 32: 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After’s Jay Smith was served divorce papers by Ashley Martson and facing deportation, Vicki Gunvalson has been demoted to friend on RHOOC, Bachelor Nation likes talking about sex -- Hannah Brown, Colton Underwood, Ben Flajnik and Courtney Robinson, Nick Viall and Andi Dorfman 

Page 33: Meghan McCain’s days on The View may be numbered, VIP Style -- Paris Hilton, Mindy Kaling, John Stamos, Mary-Kate Olsen and Dasha Zhukova and Camilla Fayed, Lucy Hale, Justin Theroux, Amy Poehler, Ted Danson, Shaquille O’Neal, Liam Hemsworth 

Page 34: What’s in My Bag? Heidi Montag 

Page 35: Goop’s most eyebrow-raising moments 

Page 36: Hollywood’s A-list takes sides as Taylor Swift accuses powerhouse manager Scooter Braun of bullying 

Page 40: Inside the christening of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s son Archie 

Page 42: Million Dollar Listing’s Steve Gold and girlfriend Luiza Gawlowska’s bundle of joy 

Page 44: Celebs Who Save

Page 48: Style -- Heel Steal -- Virginia Gardner, Diane Kruger, Lupita Nyong’o, Leighton Meester 

Page 49: Bella Hadid, Mandy Moore, Kacey Musgraves, Awkwafina, Kate Upton 

Page 51: Gigi Hadid is the new face of Michael Kors Wonderlust 

Page 52: Us Musts -- Kumail Nanjiani and Dave Bautista on Stuber 

Page 54: Suits

Page 55: Ella Purnell on Sweetbitter

Page 58: Fashion Police -- Lena Dunham, Megan Thee Stallion, Tana Mongeau 

Page 59: Natalia Vodianova, Lewis Hamilton, Lil’ Kim 

Page 60: 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me -- Julia Stiles 

#tabloid #taylor swift #scooter braun #justin bieber #demi lovato #miranda lambert #Brendan McLoughlin #suits #gina torres #sarah rafferty #gabriel macht #sasha roiz

[elizabethrobertajones]

(part 1) this is random but something im curious about is do you think the next few years will see a radical shift in more lead lgbt couples in shows? i feel like when supernatural started it was all about subtext/queerbating between characters we would never see canon (maybe), the last few years have seen an update in more side lgbt characters/couples and while not a lot, more main lgbt characters then we had before. I don't know if tumblr/twitter fandom translates to general audience...

Yeah, I mean, the only way is up. I feel lucky that I managed to encounter a fair amount of queer content in my formative years, whether targeted programming on TV, or taking the route of not really differentiating the perceived cultural value of independent media like webcomics and webnovels etc from the mass media as I was young enough to naturally grow up on the internet as the internet itself was growing up and web 2.0 was pretty much taking off alongside my use of the internet. And that I had liberal parents who didn’t regulate our internet, and lived in a community where culturally I didn’t really fear being discovered casually accessing all this like in particularly this terrifying seeming evangelical christian community in America.

Which really makes me feel like A: everyone should feel that comfortable in themselves via the media as I did as a mass accessible thing or B: that the world at large should be soaked in as much representation and more that I encountered as a curious teen because at the very least it did me no harm and at best helped handhold me through an awful lot. 

And then brings us to the problem that the world isn’t actually like that and for a lot of people their media is restricted one way or another, from everything such as the era of social media weirdly making us much LESS broadly travelled on the internet as I was back in the day (SO many bookmarks - I had like 100 that I would check either daily or on their weekly update schedule, with enough habit that I had pretty much memorised it all without using an RSS feed or just following everyone’s twitter and waiting for update announcements, never mind the vast pit of things which I occasionally checked to see if their sporadic but very worth it updates had occurred somewhere in the last month/year) to the vastly overwhelming amount of media accessible to us. It seems almost to flood the market and creates this panic about watching the worthiest shows and campaigning for them and raising awareness and the FOMO and how things slip by and zomg you have to watch this that and the other, when even just making this list on Netflix now contains more hours of TV than a human lifetime and also one liable to disappear from the service at some point or another without warning. 

And then on top of that you have the absolute cultural monoliths that if you’re not going to have a cohesive culture - which now includes the entire population of the world because of our connectivity on the internet and mass-joining of services - based around smaller shows and stuff, then at the very least everyone is going to watch anything under the main Disney umbrella, other superhero flicks, animated things, and all the really big studio franchises and remakes, as well as a few TV monoliths which manage to get enough people talking to make it seem like “everyone” (again - these days it seems like that’s presumed to be the entire western world plus everywhere else these things air) are watching, like Game of Thrones or whatever… THESE properties are the inescapable ones and on that basis they’re the things we have to lean on the most for representation and then again barely get any, when it comes to gender and sexuality, due to them shooting for such worldwide markets that they can’t imply gay people exist to censors in places such as China. And it exposes the cultural awfulness inherent just in getting a white female character in the lead role of some things, or the absolute garbage fire lurking underneath that if you dare have a black stormtrooper or make one of your female ghostbusters black when you’re already ruining the childhoods of so many how dare… 

In those respects, having side characters who aren’t even major well-known superheroes or jedis or ghostbusters or whatever also be gay (because even well-known lesbian Kate McKinnon didn’t manage to get her ghostbuster to be canonically gay even if we All Knew) would be absolutely groundbreaking, even if it was, like, a role that could be snipped out for the Chinese market or something. And that’s probably exactly what would happen, and cue ensuing riot from whichever fandom, along with everyone rightly pointing out that even for us who got to watch it it was still a tiny side character… I mean Disney is still at the stage of what they did with Beauty and the Beast’s ~canonical gay character~ 

So yeah… that’s thrown back to TV and smaller movies to lead the way and because the generations showing most likely the real global percentages but actually just the young western world stats on queerness in any form (like… 25% instead of 1% or whatever and that’s STILL probably too low) are still teens to young adults. The previous gayest generation above them are still just arriving in power and settling in, and the excellent changes we already have from the generation before that is what we are seeing now... But given THEIR cultural context, even their best can still seem to younger eyes, moderate and not generally placing queer characters in lead roles except in niche or indie or otherwise “acceptable” places to take those risks. I think change is always coming and culturally each generation being more open and accepting that the last is really making changes and so on, hopefully things WILL change rapidly and what was the common state of affairs in the sort of indie media I consumed as a teen will be the mainstream soon because a lot of those creators 10 years later are kicking off… 

All that said, TV in the mainstream is still controlled by Mark Pedowitz types exercising their power over the Bobos who have their Wayward Sisters pitches with the clearly labelled main character for the main teen demographic being queer. The culture is very much that we’re now pretty open and can happily have queer characters, but the main characters are still largely held separate. A good example is Riverdale, which is on the CW, a newer show with writers such as Britta Lundin, who is young, queer, and wrote a novel blatantly based on being a Destiel shipper and fan interacting with the cast and crew in fandom spaces, and whose first solo episode of Riverdale featured a looooot of the gay stuff (yay). 

But while she’s a story editor and writer for the show and can use it as a platform for writing stories for its audience using a whole range of canonically queer characters, the show still keeps all 4 of its mains at a strict remove from this. Cheryl can come out as a lesbian in the second season after a lil ho yay in the first but no clearly marked storyline about her identity, but even though Betty and Veronica kissed in the first episode it was blatant fan service (for Cheryl in-story, lol) and mostly just set the tone that they are the sort of seemingly straight girls kissing for attention while having strong romantic or physical attraction to guys. In the second season the kiss comes up again in joking that Jughead and Archie are the only ones of the main 4 who haven’t kissed, Archie gets one planted on him by a dude as a “judas kiss” moment of betrayal in season 3 and he and Jug are teased that they were expected to get together because they were close but in the same sort of homophobic undercurrent tones as early Destiel snarking from side characters, seemingly less about their relationship and more to unsettle them with implications… I mean it was a complicated moment but in the long run it didn’t seem entirely pleasant to me, especially given the overall emotional state they were in and later plot etc etc. (My mum is 1000% invested in Riverdale now as a former Archie Comics reader as a kid so this is now my life too as I was in the room when my brother callously exposed her to it, hi :P) 

Anyway that’s just one case study but aside from SPN it’s probably the most mainstream teen demographic thing I watch… Other examples would be things like B99 which had Rosa come out as bi and that’s awesome, and made us all cry a lot, but Jake, the clear main character even in a very strong and well-treated ensemble, has a great deal of bi subtext, there’s no way given Andy Samberg’s apparent habit of ad-libbing MORE progressive jokes that he’d ever be intentionally harming people if that’s how his brain works (you know, like other people quick-fire offensive stuff from their mouth working faster than brain sense of humour :P). But at the same time for all Jake’s quipping about crushes and such and the fact the show clearly knows how to be sensitive to bisexuality with Stephanie Beatriz being a strong advocate, just because Jake’s the main character and adorably married to Amy. In NO WAY can that be threatened because they’re SO GOOD, so there’s STILL uncertainty that this will pay off in the same special episode “I love my wife but I am bi” kinda way that seems obvious that could just be said. We all carry on without it affecting anything because obviously Jake’s found his soulmate so we don’t mess with that but they should know it’s important to clarify it… Even with B99′s track record, I’m nervous solely because Jake’s the main character and main characters tend not to get self-exploratory arcs about latent queerness and ESPECIALLY not if they’re happily married. If ANY show was going to do it right and trailblaze in this exact era it would be them, but… gyah :P 

Anyway I guess the conclusion right now is that the more mainstream you are the more uncertain it feels, but we are right at that cliff edge, especially with shows putting in SOME of the work. If B99 doesn’t get us there (or the Good Place where they’ll happily confirm Eleanor is bi in interviews but I believe she hasn’t said it outright on the show despite clearly showing attraction to female characters, again, the denials we know so well in SPN fandom reflect a wider audience view of dismissing this stuff as jokes and not reflective of character feeling and identification without a Special Episode dedicated to confirming it >.>) then we’re very clearly on the cusp of SOME mainstream or massively well-known show doing it at least once in a meaningful way that has an Ellen-style cultural impact on TV writing. 

Let’s make it a goal for 2019 or 2020, and hope that a NEW show with a canonically queer main from the start is pitched and becomes a mainstream hit in the next 5… Still got a ways to go before Disney level mainstream but again there IS work going pushing the envelope, especially if we get a movie of a franchise such as idk Further Legends of Korra, or Steven Universe or something else that’s massively pushed the envelope with sexuality or gender for their main character on the small screen in the experimental petri dish they’ve had there for children’s TV. Something that would force Disney to blink about a lesbian princess or Star Wars to let Finn and Poe kiss or Marvel to let Steve and Bucky hold hands or something in order to remain relevant.

Once the Big Cultural Monoliths get in on it, I expect culture as a whole to first of all react quickly on the small screen, but honestly I’ve been waiting for them to snap pretty much my whole life since adolescence and they’re taking such wee tiny baby steps, and some factors are enormous geopolitical awfulness, that the story as a whole is unpredictable and we can only really hope that things don’t slow down. 

(Where this affects SPN is just impossible to say right now, given its almost unique position in this mess due to longevity vs fandom vs almost entirely new generation of writers’ room) 

#Asks

[fuckyeahwomenfilmdirectors]

The Spy Who Dumped Me dir. Susanna Fogel (2018)

I don’t watch a lot of Hollywood movies. A lot of people assume that’s because I’m a film snob (which I can admit I am) but the truth is that while I enjoy a good popcorn flick I turned away from these movies a long time ago because I was sick of seeing so many movies that included casual sexism and racism. It was usually only a line or two here or there of the main (usually white, usually male) character sexualizing his co-worker or making some lame “joke” about his brown friend. And watching that always made me feel like I had just spent money to be slapped in the face.   

It definitely feels like the tide is slowly changing. There are now a handful of studio films that come out every year directed by a man of colour or a white woman (and every now and then a woman of colour) and I always go to support these films because I know that no matter how bad they are it’s so much less likely that there will be this painful throwaway lines that denigrate people for their race or gender. 

This was part of the reason I decided to give The Spy Who Dumped Me a shot. A comedy/action film the movie reminded me a lot of Spy, that Paul Feig directed, Melissa McCarthy starring movie that came out a few years ago.  Like with Spy, TSWDM focuses on non-spies who get caught up in intra-agent warfare: slacker-cashier Audrey (Mila Kunis) and her roommate/bestie Morgan (Kate McKinnon). 

We meet Audrey as she’s moping because her gorgeous out of her league boyfriend Drew (Justin Theroux) has abruptly dumped her over text right before her birthday. Morgan encourages her to burn his things and they are both surprised when, after days of ignoring Audrey, he calls and begs her not to burn anything. When he shows up at Audrey’s apartment she discovers he’s a spy being chased by a group of international assassins right before he’s shot in front of her. On the run and knowing they are about two seconds away from being murdered, Morgan persuades Audrey to go to Europe to complete Drew’s mission. After all if there’s a choice between dying having never seen Europe and dying in Europe one option certainly sounds better than the other. So armed with the 2nd place fantasy football trophy that Drew emphasized was important right before getting shot, and with each other, the two jet off to Vienna where more spies, guns and (likely) death await them. 

This was the type of movie that even if I didn’t know it had been written and directed by a woman I would have been able to tell it was. I mean that in the best way possible. Fogel’s debut film, the indie Life Partners, also focused on the messy intimacy of female friendship and though this movie has a much bigger budget and parts of it could easily act as a straight up action movie, the friendship between the two main characters makes it a sort of thematic sequel to Fogel’s earlier work. And where so many movies still struggle to clear the lowest of low bars i.e. passing the Bechdel test, TSWDM is just one long conversation between two women that starts early and never stops. Do the women talk about guys? Sometimes. But there are large swaths of the movie where they are more concerned with staying alive.  

There’s also a hilarious shot of a man’s penis and testicles fully shown on screen. It reminded me of a quote by Amy Heckerling where she talked about how when she went into filmmaking she thought she could even out the objectification of women by showing male nudity. It didn’t quite work out the way she wanted, she was quickly censored by studios. Yet here is Fogel, decades later, fulfilling Heckerling’s wish. The shot of the penis in TSWDM lasts maybe two seconds but it’s a shot that pushes the envelope and feels revolutionary when nearly every actress you can think of has gone topless on screen while most male actors will at most show their nude bottoms.

Kunis and McKinnon have great friendship chemistry as well. Kunis unfortunately has the thankless role of playing the straight-woman to McKinnon’s off-the-wall, over-the-top, theatre-kid bestie, but she plays it perfectly allowing McKinnon to truly shine. The guys (Justin Theroux as Kunis’s characters ex, and Sam Heughan as an MI6 agent) are mostly there for eye candy and they deliver on that front. 

TSWDM isn’t a perfect movie. For absolutely no reason at all it’s almost two hours and a last minute twist falls apart if you think about it too closely. But it’s a charming hilarious movie that serves up plenty of laughs and action without ever offending me once, which is all I ever wanted from a popcorn movie. 

#The Spy Who Dumped Me #2018 #Susanna Fogel #USA #Kate McKinnon #mila kunis #sam heughan #Justin Theroux #FYWFD reviews #Post 2000 series

[clotpolesonly]

An Empty Glass Is An Ugly Mirror - Dydia (3k)

for anon and @badthingshappenbingo​

Lydia didn’t know why she didn’t see it before. The signs were so clear in retrospect, all the little things that added up. How could she have been blind enough not to notice? She had only been working with Derek for ten months now, after all, and very nearly in love with him for six of them.

Probably entirely in love, if she were to be honest with herself, which she tried to be nowadays. She had spent far too long lying to herself so that she could lie to everyone else and it had done no one any good. She didn’t want to be that person anymore.

She didn’t want to be the kind of person that could look into Kate Argent-Hale’s face and see herself.

Lydia tossed back the last of her champagne. It wasn’t exactly a dignified gesture, but here, tucked away in a garishly decorated alcove down the hall from the main holiday party, she didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing it. She needed the liquid courage for what she was about to do anyway. And to quell the sick feeling she always got in the pit of her stomach when she remembered her noxious high school persona.

Queen bee, she thought bitterly. As if.

She kept a hold of her champagne flute once the alcohol was gone; anything to keep her hands from being unoccupied. Her phone said it had only been six minutes and she knew it wasn’t reasonable to expect Derek to be there immediately, but she was still left anxiously tapping a fingernail against the empty glass.

It was another four long minutes, according to her phone - during which Lydia tried to will said empty glass to refill itself - before she heard the light clip of dress shoes against the office’s finely polished floors.

Derek rounded the corner, peering around to see where she’d gotten to. He was resplendent in a dark bespoke suit, tall and svelte and broad-chested, with a green tie that made his eyes pop even in the dimness of the unlit hallway. He looked strong. Confident.

He had ducked his head earlier, shoulders hunching just a bit as Kate had gripped his arm and laughed. Lydia didn’t even remember what it was that Kate had said to amuse herself - something backhanded and glib, a subtle enough dig that no one else had recognized it for what it was. But Lydia had. She had too much experience with backhanded compliments not to.

And she had spent too long studying every facet of Derek’s face to not notice how it closed off before he put a smile back on it.

“Lydia,” Derek said as he slid into the alcove. It wasn’t particularly spacious, but it was out of sight and out of earshot, which was all that mattered to her. “What’s this about? Your text sounded kind of urgent.”

Lydia shifted on her feet, fighting the rising tide of her pulse. She could face down a jury and cross-examine a hostile witness without missing a beat, but something about being this close to Derek always got under her skin.

“I just want to talk to you about something,” she said. “Something important.”

Derek leaned back against the wall and waved a hand. “If it’s something about the McKinnon case,” he started, “I know you like to be on top of things, but really, Lydia, it can wait until Monday. This is supposed to be a party! You should be having fun for once. You know you work too - ”

“Does Kate know you’re out here?”

Derek stuttered to a stop, face going slack with a surprise that was too close to alarm not to be alarming in itself. The hitch only lasted the briefest of seconds. His hand fell. Then the smile made a reappearance.

“I think she got snagged by Stiles at the snack table,” he said. “She’ll probably be stuck there for an hour if I don’t rescue her. You know how hard it is to get him to stop talking once he’s on a roll. I should probably - ”

If he was going for nonchalant, he missed. He tried to slide out the way he’d come, but Lydia shifted to block his path. She didn’t miss how his jaw tightened or the anxious way his eyes flicked over her shoulder, back toward the party.

“She doesn’t,” Lydia said. “Does she? You didn’t tell her. Because you knew that, if you did, she wouldn’t let you come. She would never let you meet up alone with another woman.”

Derek laughed, a sharp and unpleasant sound that was nothing like the warm chuckle Lydia could usually wring out of him with a well-placed comment under her breath.

“My wife doesn’t let me do anything. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He stepped right and Lydia mirrored him.

“I know you’ve never once come out for drinks,” she said. “Not with me, or Scott and Stiles, or Isaac, or anybody else in the office. You always say you’ve got to get home to the wife, when I know for a fact that your wife works longer hours than you do and you’re going home to an empty house. Because you’re not allowed to go out without her.”

“Not allowed?” Derek parroted, eyebrows ratcheting upward to an impressive degree. “Jesus Christ, Lydia. Whatever this is, it’s way out of line. Now, if you’ll excuse me - ” He pushed Lydia none too gently out of his way. “ - I need to get back to my wife.”

Lydia followed him out of the alcove, champagne flute clenched tight in her fist. “Or what?” she called after him. “What would she do if you didn’t, Derek? Or if she came out and found you here with me? Because it seems to me like you’re afraid to find out. Or like you know exactly what she would do, and you’re afraid of that too.”

Derek wheel around to face her again, though his eyes took a frantic detour to make sure that no one was around to overhear them. He advanced on her and, even with Lydia’s considerably heels, he still had enough of a height advantage to be intimidating as he leaned in close to hiss, “You don’t know anything about my wife.”

Lydia wasn’t cowed; it wasn’t in her nature to be intimidated. Especially not by a man whom she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt would never hurt her, no matter what she said or how much it hurt him. And it was definitely going to hurt. Just hopefully not as bad as he was already hurting.

“I see the way she watches you,” Lydia said evenly. Derek twitched - a badly restrained reflex to look over his shoulder. “And the way you’re constantly checking in with her, like you need her permission to drink champagne at a party or talk to your own coworkers.”

Even in the relatively darkness, she could see the way Derek flushed. “I don’t need - ”

“And the way she talks about you.” Lydia shook her head. “The work you do is crucial to the firm and important to you, but she waves it off like it’s child’s play and makes snide comments where all of your peers can hear.”

Derek ducked his head again. “That’s not what - She didn’t mean it like that,” he insisted. “It wasn’t - ”

“It was dismissive, Derek,” Lydia told him with no room for disagreement in her tone. “It was knowingly cruel, and it was manipulative. It was designed to undermine you, to minimize your accomplishments and make you feel bad about yourself. Trust me, Derek, I should know. I know all about people like Kate.”

“People like - ” Derek scoffed. He backed off, though. He ran a hand over his face, swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing here,” he said tightly. “But you have no right to - to make assumptions about my wife or my marriage. I thought you were my friend, but apparently I was wrong.”

Lydia blinked back the sting in her eyes. “I am your friend, Derek.”

“Then why are you doing this?” he burst out. “Why would make these kinds of accusations about Kate when you don’t - ”

“Because I was Kate!”

Derek went still and silent all at once, his eyes wide and stunned. Suddenly chilled, Lydia crossed her arms tight over her chest, trying to chase away the shiver down her spine. It went too deep to guard against. The glass of her champagne flute was unforgivingly cold against her bare arm.

If this had been any other time, Derek would have offered her his coat, draped it over her shoulders until she was surrounded by his warmth and the smell of his cologne. He would have smiled at her and tugged on one of her curls until she smiled back or slapped his hand away. Now he was looking at her like he had never seen her before. That look lodged itself in Lydia’s throat like a blade, but she held her head high. It still took her two tries to make herself speak.

“I had a boyfriend in high school,” she finally managed. “And I watched him too. I kept him on a tight leash because he belonged to me. I played games with him, forced him to work to earn my continued affection. I made it very clear that, if he didn’t live up to my expectations, I would drop him the instant someone better came along.”

Derek was shaking his head, but his voice came out weak when he said, “No. No, Kate would never - ”

Lydia pushed on ruthlessly. “I found his insecurities and I took advantage of them. Everything he did, it only mattered if I said it did. He was only good enough if I said he was. I twisted him up in knots, made him feel like he needed me.”

She took a shaky breath. She didn’t think Derek was breathing at all. That was okay, as long as he was listening. As much as she didn’t want to say it, as high as the probability was that she would lose him for this, she knew he needed to hear it.

“I cut him down until he broke,” she said, slowly and clearly, even as everything in her fought against the confession. “And then I made sure he knew how lucky he was to have me.”

The distant noises of the party were loud between them, echoes of laughter and glasses clinking. The stem of her own glass was sweat-slick in Lydia’s fist and her fingers ached with how tightly she held it. But she didn’t look away. She didn’t blink.

For a long time, it seemed as if Derek wasn’t going to say anything at all. Like he had simply turned to stone right there in the middle of the empty hallway. Then, after what felt like a minor geological epoch had passed, he ripped his eyes away from her. His jaw clenched, throat working, and his hand was shaking when it came up to press against his mouth.

He turned away. “I need to get back.”

Just when she thought it couldn’t get any lower, Lydia’s heart sank a few more inches. “No, Derek, wait.”

Derek was halfway toward the conference hall, and he didn’t glance back as he said, “I’ve already been gone too long. There’s no way Kate hasn’t noticed. I need to - ”

Lydia caught hold of Derek’s arm. He was twice her size, but she managed to pull him to a stop. He wouldn’t look at her.

“Don’t go in there,” Lydia pleaded. “Please, Derek, don’t go back to her. Why don’t you just stay out here and we can - ”

“Stay here with you, you mean?”

Lydia froze. Slowly, carefully, she forced her fingers to give up their hold on Derek because there was an accusation in his tone, one that rattled her more than she would care to admit. She had hoped that her affections had been less obvious - she had never been one to wear her heart on her sleeve - but there was no mistaking the implication.

“This is not about that,” she said delicately.

Derek’s pale eyes pinned her like a butterfly in a shadowbox, every bit as intense as they were in the courtroom. “Really? So you’re not trying to steal me away from her? You wouldn’t rather have me for yourself?”

Of course she would. Lydia had entertained an embarrassing number of fantasies over the last few months, most of them revolving around exactly that. But that wasn’t the point.

“Kate is toxic,” she said instead. “You don’t deserve this.”

Derek laughed again, even sharper and uglier than the first time. “And why should I think that you would be any better?”

That wasn’t a denial. It was, in fact, tacit confirmation of Lydia’s accusation. She couldn’t celebrate that, though - as if she would ever want to celebrate something like this - because his words were everything she had feared.

“I’m not like that,” she couldn’t help but say. The words scraped her throat on the way out, like painted pink nails on a chalkboard. “Not anymore. I have worked so hard to make sure that I am never like that again. But, Derek, this isn’t about me.”

“Of course it’s about you,” Derek snapped. “You’re the one digging your nose in where it doesn’t belong, trying to break up my marriage just because you’re a jealous - ”

“No, you do not get to do that,” Lydia cut across him, her temper finally catching up with her. “Not when I’m trying to help you. You do not get to throw my feelings in my face as if you don’t have them too.”

Derek reeled back and, again, his eyes darted instinctively back toward the party - back toward Kate - like he was expecting her to be there with her ear at the door, listening to his every word. He stammered out, “No, Lydia, I don’t - ”

“Bullshit.”

There was no way that he didn’t feel something for her. Not when he sought her out at the end of his longest days, staying a few minutes later just so that he could say hi. Not when he always let her have his leftover Thai at lunch because he knew it was her favorite. Not when he offered her his coat even when if it left him shivering. Not when he smiled for her like he did for no one else. And certainly not when every long look she sent his way found him already looking back.

He looked at her now, cracked open and fraying at the edges, and he didn’t try to deny it again.

The fight went out of Lydia as quick as it had flared up. She was tired down to her bones and she wanted nothing more than to kick off her heels and wrap her arms around Derek, to feel the rise and fall of his chest against hers and the steady thump of his heart. But that wasn’t her right. None of this was.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have - ”

Lydia didn’t know how to end that sentence. Interfered, maybe. Overstepped.

Loved you.

She didn’t say any of those things. For a long moment, neither of them said anything at all.

The silence was broken by a loud crashing sound from down the hall, accompanied by a wave of mingled laughter and cries of dismay. Knowing their coworkers, it was probably Stiles accidentally knocking over one of the Christmas trees again.

The noise shook Derek from whatever daze he had fallen into. He straightened himself up, cleared his throat.

“I should get back,” he muttered.

“Derek.”

“No, Lydia, I really have been gone too long,” he insisted. “Kate will - “ He cut off abruptly, head shaking. It was a few seconds before he could bring himself to continue. “She won’t be happy.”

This time, Lydia didn’t stop him. She did call out after him, before he could reach the conference hall. He turned his head when she said his name, one hand on the door, but he didn’t turn around to face her again. That was okay. Somehow it was easier to say without his eyes on her.

“You deserve better than to be afraid of someone who claims to love you.”

His eyes found her then. “Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Love me.”

Lydia shivered and pulled her arms in tighter. The glass clinked against her necklace. She said, “Yes.” Then: “Are you? Afraid of me.”

Derek’s fingers, flat against the door, curled tight, but the corner of his mouth turned up in a ghost of that soft smile he had always reserved for her. “More than anything.”

The door swung closed behind him, sealing him inside with the jarringly convivial atmosphere and leaving Lydia alone in the dark and the quiet. That was fine with her. She didn’t want to bear witness to what was about to happen anyway.

She could already picture in her mind’s eye the way Derek would hitch a wide, half-fake grin on his face, sidle up alongside Kate and press a kiss to her cheek. The way her eyes would narrow, scanning him head to toe for any evidence of wrong-doing as she laughed and made some greatly exaggerated quip about his drinking habits. The way Derek’s friends would laugh with her, even though he hadn’t had a sip of champagne all night. She had made sure of it.

She didn’t want to think about what else Derek had said or the haunted, hunted way he had said it - She won’t be happy.

The empty glass hung limp in her fingers now, dangling precariously. She should return it to the waitstaff, she knew, but there was no way she was going back to the party. She hadn’t let the glass fall, but she couldn’t stop the tears and they were surely leaving hideous streaks of mascara all down her cheeks.

She scrubbed them off as best she could with the back of her hand. It wasn’t dignified, but at least out here there was no one to witness it. She could have this one moment to fall apart, to give in to the feeling of having been gutted and left behind. And then, by tomorrow morning, she would have herself pulled together. She had plenty of practice with that. She would be fine.

Her last thought, as she stooped to leave the champagne flute on the floor of the empty hallway, was that she truly hoped the same could be said of Derek someday, whether she was there to see it or not.

#domestic abuse #Teen Wolf #Dydia #Derek Hale #Lydia Martin #fanfiction #fics by me

[smnthchrstn]

I need to make sure, YOU DO ALL 99 QUESTIONS, 99 being "ask anything" so, question for 99 is... Christine or Samantha?

Quite possibly the scariest ask meme I’ve ever answered lmao 

how tall are you? I’m somewhere around 5′7 - 5′8 

what is your body type? It’s a body, it keeps me alive lol 

what is your favorite part about your body? My hair, usually.

is your current hair color your natural hair color? No

are you more outgoing or more shy? Shy

are you more femme or butch? I wanna say femme but that’s only because I have very long hair atm. 

are you tol or smol? Tol more than smol

wine mom or vodka aunt? Vodka aunt

weird habit? I nervously bruise myself as weird as that sounds. If I’m at work during a stressful call I’ll end up accidentally bruising my legs or arms by squeezing them so hard in a panic

favorite meme? Lately I’ve been saying stuff and putting this gif of Sarah Paulson from Bird Box right after whatever I’ve said. I’ll include it at the end or my formatting will get all messed up.

do you sing in the shower? Occasionally when I’m waiting the three minutes for my deep conditioner to deep condition (?) I’ll sing Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac or Gypsy. 

ever used a bow and arrow? No

are/were you a theatre kid? Nope

have you ever seen a broadway musical? Live? No

do you think musicals are cheesy? No way!

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? I haven’t.

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? I’ve never played it physically, but I’ve played it online a couple times.

last movie you watched? Ghostbusters. I needed some Kate McKinnon :P

behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

favorite tv show? American Horror Story or Friends

meaning behind your url First and middle name and then roleplay

reason you joined tumblr Many years ago the lead singer of my favorite band at the time had it.

who’s your closest tumblr friend? I couldn’t pick just one person.

what’s something most people love that you hate? Seafood?

have you ever taken narcotics? No lol

have you had sex? Sex means a lot of things to a lot of different people and as far as what I consider sex to mean to me; no I have not.

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? One time the cops followed me home at sixteen because they thought my friend had beer in the car. We were really sims junkies and had several cans of Red Bull and Monster in her backseat. 

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? This is dumb, but last year I lied to my mom about a hickey that my partner at the time gave me. I had too many to hide and that was my fault lol spoiler alert: she didn’t believe my dumb ass.

describe your passion without mentioning it. Pen, paper, gay

describe your best friend. She is beautiful inside and out. I love her to death.

give us one thing about you that no one knows. Well, I mean two people know this but this past weekend I relapsed for the first time in God knows how long and that’s something I have a lot of shame over. Even though I know anyone reading this won’t find it shameful because we all or most of us deal with this kind of thing.

how do you feel right now? I’m emotional from the last question lol

what is your biggest fear? Abandonment 

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Mamma Mia, the ABBA version.

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Coming out! Literally saved my life.

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? All the time

something you fantasize about. I fantasize about a day that I can love someone and finally believe they aren’t going to walk away or make me feel that I’m not good enough.

last time you cried and why I cried on Saturday because I didn’t want to be alive anymore lmao this is dark you asked for it 🤷‍♀️

what was the last thing that made you laugh? The Meryl Streep meme lol

do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes. Different people at different times.

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? I really don’t know.

the last time you felt broken? I feel broken every day, haha. Today?

are you starting to realize anything? Starting? I don’t necessarily think so.

are you more dominant or more submissive? I can be either, depending on the other person and the situation. 

i’ll only date you if you love Sarah Paulson.

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? I’ve liked people older, I’ve liked people younger. I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone my own age, though. I’m open to whatever.

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. G r e a t  d e t a i l

do you have any kinks? See the turn on question.

first thing you notice in a person? Eyes, hair and kindness/personality.

how can someone win your heart? Loyalty and common interests.

been rejected by a crush? Of course

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yes

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I never text, it’s probably like Kelly lmao. I’ll show her this, but no. I don’t think I’ve ever been romantically involved with a straight girl.

is trust a big issue for you? Yeppp

did you hang out with the person you like recently? I don’t hang out with anyone tbh

is confidence cute? I think if a girl knows she’s got it, then that’s great. Like own whatever you’re good at / if you’re cute af own that you’re cute af. Everyone’s cute af, girls are unbelievable 

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Hypothetically, if I liked a person and they kissed someone else deep down inside that would probably make something in my chest flinch, but I wouldn’t say anything.

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? I don’t think so, but I laugh pretty easily.

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do? To be completely honest, when I came out I pretty much memorialized every girl I liked from 11 years old to 2017 within my coming out letter. Anybody I’ve liked from 2017 -  present knows that I liked them. I’m usually the “keep it in until I die” kind of person though. 

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? I’ve done this several times and I’m sure I’ll never stop.

do you want to get married It scares me, but yeah.

worst thing you’ve ever done? I accidentally told a client “That’s great, bye!” when she told me her husband couldn’t hear properly to do a survey. (I was very sick and a little high on painkillers)

three things that turn you on. Cover your eyes kiddos. 1) Thigh kisses. 2) Lower stomach kisses. 3) Neck kisses / hickeys. Friiiick

who do you hate? Hate is a very strong word, I greatly dislike someone but that’s neither here nor there.

favorite term of endearment? Probably baby, but I like honey if I’m the one saying it

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? Courteney Cox

intimidating girls or kind girls? Kind

what do you look for in a possible partner? Someone who is trustworthy, kind, sensitive and again as always can make a grilled cheese that doesn’t look like a wet sock

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? I’ve liked literally all of them, I’m just a giant lesbian

are you good at flirting? Nope lmao

who was the first person you came out to? I think it was @therainbowtink if we’re getting technical here but I’m sure @onenighttofuckupmylife had to be a close second once I really knew for sure.

do you have any friends who are wlw? All of them except two

is your crush wlw? All of my crushes have been, thankfully

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? No man has that power, come on now

write a short love poem to your crush/self? Dear self, you are a dumb ass. Love, Samantha.

do you fall in love easily? Ohohoho

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yes. It varies, but I’ve got a couple.

are you good at hiding your feelings? I try, I have no idea if I’d ever make it as an actor. I act at work every day when I pretend to not have severe anxiety lol

are you a forgiving person? Yes

what is your “type?” I have no type, I’m just gay af

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? They’re both such rewarding places to be. Being able to give someone that comfort is one of life’s greatest gifts, but when you’re really really tired or really really sick you want nothing more than to curl up against your person and pass tf out against them. I couldn’t choose. 

tall girls or short girls? Both!

hugs or kisses? Oof. I don’t know, it depends on the situation. Both are fun. I’m kind of an awkward hugger I’d rather snuggle

twirl her around or get twirled? I’m too old both of those make me want to throw up haha. 

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? Honestly they both fuck me up, but I like giving tummy kisses better than giving thigh kisses.

hairline kisses or neck kisses? Neck always

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? These are both very rewarding who wouldn’t choose both 

making out or soft kisses? Soft, but sometimes you just need to make out 🤷‍♀️

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? Both!

how confident are you in your sexuality? 110%

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? Butterflies in the stomach 110%

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? Do you mean every single time I’ve liked someone? I’m reasonably sure every girl I’ve ever liked up until present know that I liked them.

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? This question is tricky. I was 10 when I had my first crush on a girl. 17 when it happened again, but didn’t acknowledge that I had one until 20.

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? I’ve done a thousand embarrassing thins.

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? Foxxay and no because Ryan Murphy is a coward.

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? When I came out my grandma told me “we have no reason to discuss your sex life” and that not only aggravated me, but hurt. Alternatively, my aunt told me that I like girls because my dad wasn’t around for a chunk of my life and that hurt me I think more than aggravated me, although it did that too because it’s never been any of her business.

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? Have you seen Sarah Paulson? Every single day. Every. day.

what is love to you? Love is when you care about someone and their well-being. We love our pets, we love our family, we love our friends, we love artists and actors and musicians. We love ourselves. Love comes in many forms. 

ask me anything. Call me whatever you want (just not Sam lol)

A straight couple: shows PDA in public

Me:

#asks #personal tag. #thank you this made me insanely emotional #there's some pg13 themes under the cut #self harm tw #sorry i just don't want anyone to feel triggered by what i've said #alurous

[freestrangerfury]

Eight Reasons to Be Thankful for the Shit-Storm That is 2020

No large gatherings means no family drama. Plus, you’ll never run out of white meat.

2020 was clearly the worst year in history. A global pandemic, racial injustice, political upheaval, wildfires, murder hornets. Fortunately, advertising execs are masters at burying the negative and promoting the positive.  Thanks to ad people, generations of children ate bowls of sugar cereals, filled with high fructose corn syrup and we said it was, “Part of this nutritious breakfast.” Not the nutritious part. But who cares. See, positivity!

It’s in this spirit that this San Francisco ad agency has agreed to re-brand the worst year in history as the “New and Improved Roaring Twenties.” So let’s put all this nonsense about the apocalypse behind us. Because there are, in fact, plenty of reasons to be thankful for the shit-show that is 2020.

 2020 is the year a 107-year-old lady cheated certain COVID death and celebrated with a Bud Light. Worst year ever? Hell no.

Reason #1

You Can Blame Your Failures on External Forces

In 2020, it was easy to blame world events for your own stupidity. If, for example, you were laid off for gross incompetence, or stealing office supplies, or just being lousy at your job, it was easy to pass yourself off as another victim of the economic collapse. No one had to know you were actually laid off because the company considered you an insurance risk. And because you were laid off, that pending HR investigation into your behavior at the office holiday party became a moot point. (Innocent until proven guilty, right?) That makes 2020 a great year to be a thoroughly ineffectual boob.

Reason # 2

A Family-Free Holiday Season

For Americans that believe in science, this is the one year when you’re actually not supposed to spend the holidays with extended family. How great is that? No passive-aggressive conflicts with your mother-in-law. No creepy great uncle that’s overly affectionate with your teenage daughters. And no heated debates with your redneck cousin who still insists the election was rigged. It’s also a boon for broken families. No need to attend a 4 pm Thanksgiving meal at your mother’s suburban townhouse and then slink out, drive downtown, and sit for a second dinner at your dad’s pied-à-terre, which he currently shares with his 28-year-old girlfriend.  

Reason #3

Less Keeping Up with the Jones’

No need to spend money on luxuries you can’t afford. This is 2020. You didn’t go anywhere! No large gatherings meant zero dollars spent on fancy dresses you can only wear once. Ditto for shoes, handbags, and even soap. (Well, maybe, that last one is just me.)  No money spent on new work clothes since no one ever saw what was going on below the waist (unless you’re Jeffrey Toobin). Sure you spent a little bit more having drugs and alcohol delivered, but that’s so much cheaper than dinners out with your pompous friends who insist on ordering the most expensive bottle of wine when, in actuality, they couldn’t tell a bottle of Screaming Eagle from Boone’s Farm. Truth be told, if you didn’t lose your job, you probably saved more money than ever before.

 Reason #4

The Pandemic Saved Our Democracy

Joe Biden will soon be president. But his victory was no landslide. It’s safe to assume that had the Trump Administration not thoroughly mishandled the Corona Virus he may well have been re-elected. So while our hearts hurt for the many families who lost loved ones to this horrible disease, we hope there’s some comfort from knowing their death was not in vain. With a new president about to take office, and a vaccine set to be distributed by year’s end, this pandemic may have actually saved the republic.

Reason #5

Fewer School Shootings

It sucked not having our kids in school and online learning is a pain. But, on the bright side, there have been far fewer school shootings since this insanity began. In 2019, there were around 130 incidents of gunfire on school grounds. In 2020, there were only 62! (Even for ad people, it’s tough to make 62 school shootings into a positive, especially with 98 percent of schools closed from March until September, but we’re trying.) But there’s more good news: With all the kids stuck learning at home, bulletproof backpacks no longer top the Christmas wishlist. Yeah, 2020.

Reason #6

A 103-year-old woman beat COVID-19 and celebrated with a Bud Light.  

This one would be even better if Anheuser-Busch was our client. But, nonetheless, you can’t argue with a comeback story about a blind nursing home resident stricken by COVID. The family said their final goodbyes to the great-great-grandmother. When asked if she was ready to go to heaven, the feisty centurion replied, "Hell, yes."  But, as it turned out, heaven wasn’t ready for her.  The blind, bed-ridden woman survived, and once out the woods asked to toast her recovery with her favorite beverage, an ice-cold Bud Light. It was a great year for Division of Labor head of security, Mort Denberg, pictured here with the guy who picks up his crap.

Reason #7

There’s No Better Time to be a Dog

2020 has been heaven for dogs. They love this COVID thing. Masks and PPE shortages be damned. Everybody stuck in the house, wearing the same clothes day after day, smelling like a wet sweater that’s been wrapped around a dead trout. Our dogs haven’t been left alone since lockdown started. Prior to 2020, dogs were left in the house for hours while we drove to an office to sit in a cubicle and not talk to 90% of the people there. These days our dogs rule the world. They’re always lighting up our Zoom calls and they’re gonna hate this vaccine more than vacuum cleaners.

Reason #8

Endless Fodder for Saturday Night Live

SNL, one of the longest-running TV series in broadcast history, has gone thru many iterations. Some seasons epic, others epic fails. But with all that’s gone wrong in 2020, coming up with crowd-pleasing comedy sketches is like shooting fish in a barrel. We will miss Alec Baldwin as Donald Trump, and Kate McKinnon as Rudy Giuliani. But we look forward to more Jim Carey cameos as our lovable, albeit doddering and slightly demented, leader of the free world.  

Alec Baldwin as the Big Orange Machine and Kate McKinnon as Rudy G. 2020 at its best.

Well, that’s all. Wishing all advertising agency insiders and anyone else who got sucked into reading this blog post a very happy Thanksgiving. Stay safe. Stay healthy and let the holiday merriment commence.

[freenewstoday]

New Post has been published on https://freenews.today/2020/12/13/snl-cold-open-shows-fauci-birx-explaining-coronavirus-vaccine-rollout/

'SNL' cold open shows Fauci, Birx explaining coronavirus vaccine rollout

“Saturday Night Live” opened this weekend’s show with an interview between CNN’s Wolf Blitzer (played by cast member Beck Bennett) and the “American Gothic” of the pandemic: White House coronavirus task force members Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Deborah Birx (Kate McKinnon and Heidi Gardner).

Bennett’s Blitzer compared the vaccine – Pfizer and BioNTech’s candidate was approved for emergency use by the U.S. Food and Drug Adminisration on Friday – to the Sony PlayStation 5.

“Everybody wants it, nobody can get it — and if you’re rich you already had it a month ago,” he said.

As Fauci and Birx were cheered, McKinnon’s Fauci reminded the audience to “keep the ‘woo’s to a minimum,” because “’woo’s spread droplets.”

McKinnon — who has also played men such as Rudy Giuliani, Sen. Lindsey Graham, and former Attorney General Jeff Sessions — said the U.S. was rolling out the vaccine “World War II style” by “making England go in first” then “we swoop in at the end and steal the spotlight.”

TRUMP CORONAVIRUS OFFICIAL BIRX SEEKS TO JOIN FAUCI IN BIDEN ADMINISTRATION

The U.K. approved the Pfizer vaccine for emergency use shortly before the U.S.

FDA APPROVES PFIZER’S CORONAVIRUS VACCINE FOR DISTRIBUTION

McKinnon’s Fauci added that Tom Hanks will make 10 movies about the vaccine and when it’s finally over “you can kiss any nurse you want.”

He and Birx then said the first doses of the vaccine would go to health care workers, seniors – “anyone who pays for Red Lobster with a Diner’s Club Card” – then prisoners, teachers and sick people.

Everyone else? They’ll get it in “July twenty … bada bada,” Fauci said, being vague about which year.

Kate McKinnon is seen March 13, 2019, in New York City. (Getty Images)

Criticizing President Trump’s job in getting the vaccine prepared for distribution, McKinnon’s Fauci said, “I try not to comment, but this president has done about as good a job with this rollout as I did throwing out that pitch at the Nationals.”

Bennett’s Blitzer then showed a video clip of the real-life Fauci throwing a really bad ceremonial pitch at a Washington Nationals baseball game in July.

Gardner’s Birx comforted Facui by telling him, “We all mess up sometimes. You threw the ball wrong, I didn’t say ‘Don’t drink the bleach.’”

The sketch also made a reference to Fauci’s bizarre sex symbol status among some Americans, because, according to McKinnon’s Fauci, “I was the only one saying facts.”

“Any other year, I’m a two. This year I’m a 10,” he shrugged.

CORONAVIRUS VACCINE SHOULD GO TO HEALTH CARE WORKERS, LONG TERM CARE FACILITIES FIRST, CDC PANEL RECOMMENDS

The doctors also explained how they plan to get around the problems of needing to store the vaccine at extremely cold temperatures and making sure Americans come back for a second dose.

Garner’s Birx said the vaccine will be stored in “Coor’s Light cold-activated cans” — “So when the mountains are blue you know the vaccine is effective.”

McKinnon’s Fauci said they plan to use a “technique long employed by one-night stands who have caught feelings.”

Patients who’ve gotten one dose of the vaccine can leave a necklace at CVS, “just so they have an excuse to go back.”

He added the distribution will go alphabetically, starting with “A-California” and “Ba-New York City.” And in New Orleans the vaccine will be tossed up like Mardi Gras beads.

“The more you show, the more you get,” he said.

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Fauci closed by saying he’ll know he did his job if everything goes well with the vaccine rollout and he’s no longer needed and can go back to being just another “anonymous hunk.”

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