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pendulum-sonata · 10 months

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@seasaltmemories happy super belated birthday!!

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Mawaru Penguindrum Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Takakura Himari & Takakura Shouma & Takakura Shouma Characters: Takakura Himari, Takakura Shouma, Takakura Kanba Additional Tags: Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sibling Bonding, Menstruation, Gift Fic, this was mildly inspired by a scene in the novels, it's nothing too bloody (lol) but if periods make you uncomfortable, you should probably not read this

Shouma had tried and failed to do the groceries.

The meager allowance he and Kanba had managed to pool together ran out way quicker than he had anticipated.

While he put the bag filled with half a cabbage head, a pack of tofu, soy sauce, green onions, noodles, and… he remembered how he saw himself forced to choose between milk and meat and milk was more important… right? Or maybe the proteins from the meat were more important than calcium for a growing boy? It didn’t seem like the later was helping him a lot if you asked Shouma.

And something told him that Kanba was already as tall a he would become, or at least he hoped too, every time he teased him about it, he felt like kicking him in the sheens.

Not that he’d done it of course, it was just fun to think about.

He shook his head and forced himself to think about what he could do for dinner with what he had available, there was still some miso paste, so he could make a whole pot of it and that could last them at least for 3 days right?

But they couldn’t feed just on soup, they needed something more filling…

“This is harder than I thought.” He told to… no one apparently, he noticed their house was too quiet.

Of course.

He should have guessed that Kanba had run off again to gods know where, apparently waiting for him was too much to expect from him.

He pulled out his phone to see if he had at least a text from him, maybe to at least let him know if he needed to wait for him tonight or not.

But other than the usual texts from Himari and Uncle Ikebe, there was nothing.

“Ugh, Kanba… I’ll show him, see if I leave dinner out for him…”

...

Maybe he’ll just hide it though, or he would add more salt, or burn it a little bit…

°•☆▪︎●I tried slipping on my Daddy's shoes. They were kind of tight on me●▪︎☆•°

He almost dropped the ringing phone while imagining his salty revenge on Kanba, and felt his stomach drop when he recognized the number…

The smiling face of Himari flashed through his eyes.

“…Please let her be fine.”

°•☆▪︎● ♥ ●▪︎☆•°

Himari had lost track of the time she spent looking at the bloody sheets

If it had been another time, if it had been another “her” she could have been surprised, she could have been scared, or even grossed out because it was sticky and some of the blood had already dried out, both in her skin and her gown, it no longer looked red, just brown-ish instead… the sight of it made her feel a shiver going through her body, like tiny pin-needles piercing her skin, she took those potential feelings one by one and tucked them away in her mind, carefully filed under the proper compartment, only to be entertained in her weakest moments.

The great Himari could take this, she thought patting her cheeks.

Even so, she was a little amazed at the amount of blood, she thought she had gotten used to see it, her own blood even not just the one going into her body through an IV, she even thought about the times where she vomited a mixture of blood, bile and saliva after the treatments, but even then, this was different, it wasn’t that messy, but it was infinitely more uncomfortable.

She needed to call someone; the nurses had to know what to do right? … she heard the door click and almost as if she was being summoned, one of the nurses let herself into her room.

“Good morning, Himari-chan!!” Since she was bringing the little cart, she walked in with her back first. “I have your lunch! But you know the deal we made, you have to drink your mil-“

The nurse – this time it was the one with the glasses and the bangs – stopped in her tracks when she finally looked at the mess on her bed, she took a moment to blink and readjust her glasses and…

“Oh my! Someone’s already turning into a young lady!” she said, eyes glinting, clapping her hands together in what was decidedly a motherly gesture…

…

And Himari tried to convince herself that she didn’t hate it but she couldn’t help that what was intended as a little smile came out as a faint sigh.

While the nurse fussed over Himari andtried to tune out most of her talk, she noticed she was discretely paging the other nurses on shift, of course she had to, they had to know, it was their job…

It dawned on her too late that they would have to call her brothers too.

°•☆▪︎● ♥ ●▪︎☆•°

When Kanba finally stepped into their home, he noticed something… oh, maybe more like the lack of something.

Shouma had not prepared dinner.

On the kitchen counter there was nothing but a lonely grocery bag, with half of the groceries left in the open.

Luckily nothing except the cabbage was perishable, and since it was a cool day and it was still wrapped, nothing bad had happened to it.

At least Shouma had not messed up that bad.

He checked the time on his phone and noticed the barrage of missed calls from him, dammit, why couldn’t he just send a text? Sometimes he really acted like a middle-age lady.

“… I think, maybe, I made him angry.” He said to himself, while stretching his sore neck and shoulders.

This whole thing with money and day-to-day work was harder than he thought, especially when even after his growth spurt some eagle-eyed foremen could still tell his age just by looking… or if they happened to recognize his last name, despite him writing it with different kana.

Maybe he should just use Uncle’s name instead…

The dripping sounds of the faucet broke his line of thought, usually he didn’t even pay attention to it because after coming back from the construction site his hearing wasn’t the best, and then it blended with the TV sounds.

And the voice of Shouma’s nagging, so much nagging, about the chores, his dirty socks everywhere, the heat, the broken faucet…

Drip… drip… drip…

He hated to admit it, but it really was annoying and the water wasn’t free.

There should be a toolbox somewhere around, right? Maybe if finally got down to fix it, Shouma wouldn’t nag him so much… After not too long he found a small blue one under the sink, some of the tools had some rust in them, but they felt sturdy enough, and it was great luck that under it he found the user manual.

Still, the house was too quiet.

…Whatever, once he got down to work, he’d forget about the silence.

°•☆▪︎● I'm just a Rock'n Roll MAN,

We're just a Rock'n Roll BAND ●▪︎☆•°

Of course, when the surprise had him dropping the wrench, it landed right onto his foot.

He hunched over the sink, hissing through the pain.

The call ended up going to voicemail, but he knew it had been from the hospital, that was Himari’s ringtone.

He took a deep breath before clicking to listen to the message.

°•☆▪︎● ♥ ●▪︎☆•°

“Are you sure you’re not hurting?” asked Shouma for the nth time offering her the newly heated pad.

“I’m fine Sho-chan” Himari said, smiling but still let him place it on her belly, her tone filled with her best ‘stop being such a worry wart’, voice, Himari certified.

“…I’ve heard it hurts.” He said pouting in response.

Truly she was just thankful of having a clean and dry gown and underwear, even if the slightly itchy pad that the nurses showed her how to use, she still felt much more comfortable than before.

“It looks like Kanba is finally here! Ugh! About time.”

Both his voice and face pulled her out of her thoughts, it was fascinating how he could go so quickly from one emotion to another, and the right expression to go with it.

And she laughed, just a little.

Just in time to have Kan-chan step into the room with his usual flair and ease, he was always so cool, like the main love interests from dramas and movies, it was never a wonder he got so popular as soon as he reached his adult height.

“Oh? My ears are burning, if you miss me so much, you just have to call, Shouma” he said, earning a glare from his brother.

Sho-chan got into his face, or at least tried to, unlike him, it looked like he was not having much of a growing spurt as much as growing pains, one inch at the time.

“Miss you?! As if! I don’t want your icky germs!” Sho-chan’s yelled and stuck his tongue at him

On his part, for all his cool Kan-chan’s eye twitched in annoyance.

“At least I’m not a shortie!” Both of them had the other by the shoulders now, but Kan-chan, with his bigger frame was easily pushing down on Sho-chan.

This wouldn’t do.

“…did you guys fight again?” Himari put on her best pout, eyes as big as pools, even twiddling with her thumbs for good measure.

Silence.

A look passing between them, and then they were almost tripping on their toes, rushing to her bedside and reassure her that nothing was wrong, that they were just kidding.

Asking again if she wasn’t feeling any pain.

“I’m fine,” Himari was already in a hospital, the best place to be to be sick right? She was far more worried about Sho-chan becoming a bundle of nerves and the faint eye bags that she could already notice in his face, so similar to mom’s. And Kan-chan, how he stretched more often, to conceal his sore muscles, like their dad used to. “I’m more concerned about you two. Are you eating well? And school? You better not be trying to hide anything from the great Himari!”

They both flinched at the same time, and once again, there was that shared look.

“Is nothing Himari,” Sho-chan said first with his cheery voice again, “I was just a little tired because of the heat! I really wish the fan wasn’t broken, again.” He said clearly glaring at Kan-chan.

Ah, Kan-chan always left it on during all night during the summer.

“Huh?! The fan?! Liar! It’s the faucet you said it was broken.”

“Wrong, I said the fan is broken and the faucet is faulty.”

“Tsk… Whatever, whiny wifey, worry not, for I, the man of the house will have both fixed by tomorrow.”

Just as Sho-chan was probably about to say something not very nice, she laughed, she wasn’t sure why, but she couldn’t stop now, she bent over and held her belly as it flipped from her laughter.

But she stopped when she heard it: stomach growling.

And when she looked up, they both had their hands on their belly, and Sho-chan was blushing of embarrassment while Kan-chan just looked resigned.

“Did you guys rush here without having dinner?”

“Uh… hu” Neither answered and instead settled to look down.

Interesting, now what should be the punishment she, the great Himari, would impose on these puny mortals?

“Mmm, you should make cabbage rolls when you get home, and I expect some of them for tomorrow dinner too.” She said, pouring all the poise she had and puffing her chest a little.

“What?” They both asked, scratching chins and heads.

“Kan-chan, don’t even think about leaving everything to Sho-chan, you should help too.”

“I don’t feel like- “

“What? I don’t trust him with- “

Himari bestowed her best glare and that shut them up, of course.

This was the best solution, cabbage rolls were cheap and easy, and even faster to do between two people.

Afterwards everything was fine, they talked about a lot of unimportant things: a new movie they meant to watch, about the new teachers they got in high school, of Uncle Ikebe and how he kept sending them candy, normal things.

But she couldn’t help notice Sho-chan’s awkwardness when he asked about her ‘condition’, about how he kept sneaking glances at the trash bin or the laundry basket, as if wanting to confirm something with his very own eyes.

Or how different it felt from the awkwardness that was rolling off Kan-chan in waves, how intent he was on looking at her face but sometimes she could tell he really wanted to look over to all of her, and sometimes he’d just turn his eyes away completely, overcome by that same something Sho-chan was still coming to terms with.

It wasn’t bad or uncomfortable but it made her aware it made her feel that something inside her body had changed and she was no longer just a little child.

Not a woman yet, but no child either.

Just a girl.

A girl on her period…

It was good that the nurses made sure of not just replacing the sheets, but also getting the old ones out of sight before either of her brothers arrived, in between trying to throw away the blood-stained toilet paper, Himari made sure to get rid of the last trace of her period beforehand.

Period, menstruation, monthly cycle… it all felt weird to think about, of course she knew that as a ‘budding woman’ she would eventually get one, but that was before her disease, before her hospitalization, before her parents went away...

It was mean.

To take this sickly body that couldn’t even support itself, and make it ready to bear children.

To make it one step closer to adulthood when it was a fact she wouldn’t live much longer.

To make it so her poor brothers now had to pay for toiletries when she knew they already struggled with money.

God was really mean…

But she wasn’t about to let that ruin thus surprise visit, and she let none of those feelings show on her face, instead she kept asking about that time Sho-chan had to wrestle the last pack of eggs on the discount aisle, or how Kan-chan was getting tired of the girls leaving ‘weird stuff’ in his shoe locker at school.

When the visiting hours were over, and they were ushered out by the nighttime nurse, Sho-chan held her closer than before, while Kan-chan only settled for a pat on her head.

As she watched their backs turn around on the hallway, she reminded them of the promised cabbage rolls and then she stood there for a whole minute before her nurse called out for her, and reminding her to check if it was time to check her pad.

So, she did, and it was indeed very much drenched… and it had some weird and dark little chunks of a really dark red all over it.

Himari willed the rising disgust coming up her throat, it was all stuff that was inside her, wasn’t it? And it wasn’t foul or weird smelling, or maybe she had just gotten used to the smell of blood, it was hard to tell.

The nurse asked if she needed help and Himari was sure she beat some record on the fastest someone could change a pad.

It was fine, the cramps were nothing compared to the amount of pain she already dealt with before, it was just new and a little weird.

And the nurses had sneaked a chocolate milk for her, so that was good.

But it was over, and in her opinion, it wasn’t as overwhelming as she had been led to believe it would…

As she laid on the hospital bed, she couldn’t help to think that it was too wide and white for her, any little stain stood out like a sore thumb, which was probably part of the intention, the other was that it was the most ‘hygienic’ color… But it also meant that anything could happen in any hospital room, in her room, and in less than an hour the room would be clean, pristine and white, and nobody would be able to tell than someone had been in there, that someone may have died in that room… somewhere deep down in her, Himari wished for the blood stains to be back, it felt like a little proof of what had happened.

Proof of her existence…

Maybe it wasn’t mean, she thought, maybe it was meant to be, both her brothers had to deal with a bunch of adult stuff, it sounded more than appropriated to have a grown-up problem of her own now.

°•☆▪︎● ♥ ●▪︎☆•°

FIN

#mawaru penguindrum #penguindrum #my fics #sorry for taking so long Mandy ;-;#I hope you like it #I just realized #this really is my first Penguindrum huh?#himari takakura #shouma takakura #kanba takakura

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