Tumgik
#Kaidan: oh shit you look awful are you okay
wellthebardsdead · 9 months
Text
Clockwork heart pt17
Part 16 here
———
Inigo: *riding on Roach, the horse Wyrm bought him with the little gold he had left so he wouldn’t have to walk* You are the dragonborn my friend?
Wyrm: *riding on Naomi, Taliesin hugging his waist with one hand and holding the reigns with the other* apparently…
Kaidan: *up ahead on Wyrms horse* apparently my arse, No normal person can move mountains with their voice like you can.
Taliesin: Or absorb the soul of a dragon like you did.
Inigo: well, I’m extra glad I did not kill you then.
Wyrm: you may as well have, something will eventually… *sighs* it doesn’t matter anyway. Once I’m home I’m never leaving again… making me the dragonborn surely must be one final cruel joke by the gods, I’m no hero or adventurer, I can’t even fight off some dogs or brandish a blade… *sniffles* papa was right about everything…
Taliesin: *strokes his hair* shhh, enough of that. You just need some help and practice is all.
Wyrm: I don’t even have two working arms…
Taliesin: … *looks up ahead at Kaidan* Kai, can I see the map please?…
Kaidan: Why? Think I’m leading us in the wrong direction?
Taliesin: no- *trying to hide the anxiety already building inside* a-are there any marked dwemer ruins nearby?
*several hours later*
Kaidan: *carrying Taliesin out of the ruins of Mzulft* Deep breaths you’re alive you’re not dead.
Taliesin: *coming down from a panic attack* we- are NEVER GOING IN ONE OF THOSE AGAIN!
Inigo: *carrying out a bag of loot* Is it a good book?
Wyrm: *holding the Lunar Lorkhan* I don’t know but… it feels strangely important given everything that’s happened to me recently… hm? *blinks spotting a building theyd missed* …Kai?? That key we couldn’t find a lock for, do you have it?
Kaidan: hm? Oh yeah- *unceremoniously drops Taliesin on his ass and fumbles around his bag for the key before handing it to him* here.
Wyrm: th-thank you. Tali are you okay?
Taliesin: *on the ground hyperventilating* I- I-
Kaidan: don’t worry I’ve got him. *pats Taliesin on the back* keep breathing you’re fine.
Wyrm: I… I’ll be right back. *watches him with growing concern before walking off to the building and opening the doors to find a store room inside* oh?… *looks around at the rows and shelves of spare pottery, parts and more* ohhh! *grabs several gears, metal plates, bolts and ingots placing them in his satchel before passing another door and immediately back pedalling as something blue catches his eye* what?… *places the key in the door and steps in as he unlocks it to see a strange shard of what he can only describe as blue glass* wow… *slowly touches it and feels his whole body seize in shock as another memory clouds his mind*
???: Aetherium? But sir we only have a limited supply left, and with the dwemer gone we don’t know how to harvest anymore, we should not start such a grand project if we are without means to finish I-
Sotha Sil: we do not need the aid of our deep elven cousins. I am aware of their methods and how we can obtain more if needs be. But in order to create my vision for our people’s future, I must first make the gateway to the plain where it shall take shape.
Wyrm: *let’s go of the shard and staggers back as he regains control of his mind* ughh- *rubs his face* Aw- shit. *huffs and rights himself* I wish that’d stop happening… *looks back at the shard before nervously poking it in case another memory sparks before quickly putting it in his satchel too and exiting the building*
Inigo: *leaning against the entrance* Anything interesting?
Wyrm: it was just a storage room but I found some gears to repair my arm!
Inigo: that is great news my frie-
Taliesin: *having a coughing fit after hyperventilating so hard he started crying* I can’t breathe- I can’t breathe-
Kaidan: *at a loss on how to help him* T-Taliesin calm down! You’re outside now you’re safe-
Wyrm: *hurries over and shuffles his way into taliesins lap hugging him and taking his hands* shhh, it’s okay, it’s almost over now… *pulls his handkerchief from his bag and wipes his face* y-your makeup is running, it’s alright Tali I-I’m sorry you went through all that just for me…
Taliesin: *sniffles and rubs his face choking back another sob* I’m- im fine- I’m fi- *coughs* w-wanted to make you happy again- I forgot h-how horrible those dreadful r-ruins are-
Wyrm: *keeps drying his face just letting him ride it out knowing how hard anxiety like this is to stop and how similar they are to his sensory overloads* I-I’m so greatful you went through it for me, y-you didn’t have to. *takes his hand to move it from his face only to feel the larger elf squeeze it a little tighter than he’s comfortable with but not in a cruel way* … *squeezes back* I’m here.
Taliesin: *breath uneven and in short bursts as he begins to steady and ground himself feeling the weight of the small dunmer in his lap, his hand in his, the sweet smell of citrus in his hair mixing with the smell of sandalwood from his robes* I… I’m… I’m okay, I think- *clears his throat and sniffles back tears* I lost myself for a moment there-
Wyrm: it’s okay to lose yourself, so long as you come back to us eventually. *smiles and dries his face cleaning his eyeliner up* I-I don’t blame you for being frightened, that centurion had you cornered, if inigo didn’t jump on it when he did I don’t think Kaidan could have stopped it in time.
Inigo: the hero again~ *snickers walking by*
Taliesin: I… *sighs rubbing his face* I’m just glad to be out of there… I only wanted to help but…
Wyrm: m-maybe next time we avoid going into dwemer ruins.
Taliesin: *nods and laughs softly* y-yes, that. That sounds like a great idea. *smiles warmly at him as he finally calms down, feeling oddly at peace as he stares at Wyrms sweet smile and gentle face* I… *finally realises Wyrm is just sitting in his lap* I- um. *clears his throat and lifts him up as he rises to his feet* d-did you find anything you can use? *sets him down*
Wyrm: yes! I should be able to fix my arm now. Thank you Taliesin. *suddenly gives him a hug before running over to the horses leaving Taliesin standing there stunned*
Kaidan: *pats him on the back* Smooth.
Taliesin: Bugger off.
Kaidan: Hehehe~
*that evening*
Wyrm: *seated at a table in the Braidwood inn as he tinkers with his arm, the group having decided it’d be best for all of them to avoid windhelm and it’s unwelcoming inhabitants* just- go- I- *pauses watching the bolt he was trying to fit into place pop out of its position and fall off the table and onto the floor* Aw biscuits… *shifts and reaches down to get it only for Taliesin to grab it for him*
Taliesin: you should be in bed little moth. *hands him the bolt*
Wyrm: th-thank you. I will be soon I just- wanted to get my arm fixed tonight… it’s just a lot harder without mr wrench to help me…
Taliesin: Mr? Wrench?
Wyrm: oh- *blinks suddenly making his Pearl eye glow and a projection of a tiny dwarven spider suddenly appearing from it* one of my-… well… I guess he’s my only automaton now… I built him from scraps and he helps me build things.
Taliesin: *staring at the projection in amazement* I?! How?! How are you doing that??!
Wyrm: huh? Oh, i-it’s one of its enchantments. I’m very good at enchanting things, I can store memories in it, it’s, like a lexicon but very small. But it mainly just helps me see. *blinks making it disappear* it’s just magicka made visible, like fire or lightning for a destruction spell or an illusion spell. I keep memories that make me happy in case I’m sad… *looks down slightly before shyly blinking again making a projection of taliesins tear stained eyeliner smudged face appear* thank you for making me happy too.
Taliesin: *visibly blushes feeling his heart skip a beat* I- I you’re welcome but did you really have to pick that- I look dreadful!
Wyrm: *giggles*
*a few hours later*
Wyrm: *sharing a bed with Taliesin as Kaidan & inigo bunk together on the other* mnn *shifts uncomfortably as the hay pokes him and the old furs itch his skin*
Taliesin: *blinks open his eyes, too uncomfortable to sleep as well* itchy?
Wyrm: *nods* yeah…
Taliesin: *shifts and gets up pulling his thalmor robe from his bag*
Wyrm: t-Tali put it away you’ll get arrested if someone sees-
Taliesin: *suddenly turns it inside out and lays it over the hay and furs* nobody will be able to tell. *smiles and lays on it, gesturing for the small dunmer to shuffle closer*
Wyrm: *gladly does as he’s asked, wanting more so to cover it with himself in case somebody comes in and sees it* th-this feels much better.
Taliesin: *yawns and nods* I agree. If all else fails we always have our bedrolls.
Wyrm: *nods and shuffles a little closer resting his head against his chest* I-I never thought I’d miss my bed so much when I left home… but anything is better than the sleeping arrangements here…
Taliesin: *visibly blushes feeling the dunmer so close* Then we’d best get you back home as fast as we can so you can rest c-
Wyrm: *blinks wondering why he paused* Tali? *looks up at him to see him frozen in place* …Tali?… *notices he can’t even hear his heartbeat anymore* … *gets up in a panic only to see Kaidan frozen mid snore and inigo mid stretch* Wh-what- what’s happening?… *looks around the room before stepping out to see the inn and it’s patrons frozen in time, the fire unmoving, the bard mid strum of her lute, a cork from a bottle of wine halted in mid air* I- *jumps and spins around feeling something touch his shoulder but unable to see what’s there* h-hello? *reaches out and feels nothing beyond a sudden and painful headache* th-this happened in saarthal too- before- before- before- *grabs the bar as his mind flashes images of the orb and the memories of creation, the throbbing of his head pounding like a drum and beating in tandem with a heart he’d seen shot into the sea* p-papa- I-I’m- dying- it- hurts- it- hurts- it- *falls silent as cool metal touches his face, a hand, elegant in design, and a now familiar, kind face smiling back at him beyond a white void… sotha sil* y-you…
Sotha Sil: *smiles warmly at him, his very presence bringing him a strange comfort* shhh… you’re not dying… You can’t die.
Wyrm: I-it hurts- it hurts my head hurts- my heart it’s so loud- wh-why m-me- why are you killing me?
Sotha Sil: *bearing a look of immense sadness and hurt on his face that his means of protecting him would cause him pain* Kill you?… impossible… *shakes his head* No matter. I won’t allow them to use you for their plans. Please bear it for a moment longer…
Wyrm: u-use me? W-who? Wh-what do you mean impossible?
Sotha Sil: *smiles* You can’t kill a god.
“Sahloknir, ziil gro dovah ulse!”
Wyrm: *gasps as he comes back to reality, only to find himself no longer in the inn, but standing atop the hill near the settlement, his nightshirt and trousers drenched from the rain… and the world eater glaring down at him as he brings forth his ally from the earth* …I’m going to die…
18 notes · View notes
curechocolattymilk · 3 years
Text
I found some old wine while foraging & it ended up getting my character ill
im not sure what else i expected
7 notes · View notes
tealenko · 3 years
Text
Somebody that I Used to Know (Chapter 3)
Chapter 3: Port Observation
Wow... chapter 3 already. This one is more funny than the previous one. I thought this chapter would be difficult to write at the begining but in the end it was one of the easiest.
Summary: James wants to know if the rummors about Shepard are true, so he ends up getting Steve and Garrus drunk to find out. Things get a little unconfortable when Shepard enters the room and overhears part of the conversation.
Words: 2757 Rating: Teens and Up Warnings: Alcohol
Previous chapter -> [link] All chapters -> [link] Read in AO3 -> [link]
-------------------------------------------------------
“So you don’t know” James asks Steve while he is dealing the cards.
“Why should I? You know her longer than I do.” Steve takes a look at his cards, deciding how many he should discard. “Why do you ask? Curiosity? Or do you have ulterior motives?”
“Are you crazy? Well, if she wasn’t my C.O, maybe, but I mean… I’m wise enough to don’t get involved in that kind of mess.” James throws away two of his cards. “Maybe I’m trying to distract you with gossip. Well, how many do you want?”
“Just one.” Steve says. “I didn’t think you were smart enough to make that kind of decision Vega, you seem more of an accion guy, rather than a thoughtful one.”
“Looks can be deceiving, I mean, look at Mr. Major specter.”
“Wait, Alenko? No… He looks too, mmm...”
“Serious, right?”
“But it cannot be, I’ve never seen a more ‘by the book’ type of guy. No, it must be… well, It would make sense...”
“What?”
“No, no. This isn’t right James. We shouldn’t be talking about this stuff. Just… just place a bet.”
“You’re gonna leave me like this Esteban? Come on, I’m sure she won’t mind… maybe she’ll tell us if we ask nicely.” James throws a couple of poker chips to the center of the table.
“Yeah sure, I won't be the one who discovers if that's true.” Steve raises the bet. “And why did you think of Alenko to begin with?”
“Ah nah… If you don’t tell what you know you can’t expect me to do so.”
“Do you see the bet or not?”
“I do.”
“And you have good reasons to think if she had something with someone it was with the major?”
“I do.” James matches the bet. “You said it makes sense, before you stopped talking.”
“She is going to kill us.”
“She’ll never find out.” James looks at his cards smiling. “Tell you what, if I win this round you tell me, if you win ask whatever you want.”
“Ok, let me see your cards.”
Both of them place down their cards onto the table.
“Ha! So spill, what did you hear Esteban?”
“God, I should've known better that to bet against you.”
“Spill it out.”
“Well… I met someone who was part of the Normandy crew, the first one, and he told me there were rumors about her having a thing for someone in the ship, he didn’t say who, only that the person in fact was a lower rank… so in theory Alenko fits the pattern, but also do so many others, why do you suspect of the major?”
“Now you wanna know, eh?”
“Come on Vega, why?”
“Why wouldn’t I. Man, you weren’t there on Mars.”
“Mars?”
“Yeah, I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life, you could cut the tension with a knife.”
“Just because of that?”
“He seemed really pissed off with her.”
“Ay James, what kind of telenovela are you writing in your head?”
“Just saying what I think.” Steve starts laughing.
“I don’t even know if you are serious or if you're messing with me.”
“About what?” Says a third voice entering the conversation. Both of them raise a hand a little to say hello.
“Ey Scars, spying on us?” Says James, standing up to go to the bar.
“Just stopping by for a drink.” Garrus says, sitting in the bar area and turning his head to talk to Steve. “What are you two up to?”
“You don’t wanna know… I think I need a drink too.”
Steve sits next to Garrus, in the meanwhile, James, who moved quickly to tend the bar, starts mixing drinks in front of them.
“This will be my first time making a dextro cocktail, wish me luck Scars.”
“Just… try not to kill me Vega.”
“Relax hermano, I’m a pro. Ask Esteban, he was at one of my famous parties.”
“How was it?”
“I couldn’t say… I don't remember much of that week to be honest.”
“Eh eh eh… I see, the best kind of party.” Garrus taps the bar with his hand. “Okay James, do your best. If you’re able to mix something that makes me forget the reapers by the end of the shift I’ll put you in for a medal once this is all over.”
“Sure… this is going to be fun, I’ve never seen a drunk turian.” James finishes mixing the drink and offers it to Garrus. “Are you even able to get drunk?”
“Well… you’re about to find out.” Garrus takes the drink and downs it in seconds. “Not bad, Jimmy...” He points at his glass to ask for another. “By the way, what were you two talking about before I got in? Steve seemed distressed.”
They all start drinking, and Steve succeeds to avoid the conversation for a while, until the drinks begin to kick in, loosening Vega’s tongue. By the time they’ve explained their whole conversation to Garrus, none of them is sure if they will be able to stand up without difficulties.
“You don’t appreciate your life, eh Vega?” Garrus says, finishing yet another drink.
“Come on Scars, we wanna know!”
“I don't. The commander's business shouldn’t be of our interest.” Steve tries very hard to stand up, letting himself fall onto the couch when the whole room starts spinning.
“I agree. And I’m sorry to disappoint you James, but I have no clue If what you say it’s true or not. Why do you wanna know?”
“Well, I’ll be hella funny to tease her about this when I have the chance. And him. I wanna get my info right before I do so.”
“Oh no, no no no… You really wanna die.” Garrus looks at James with an alarm expression on his face. “Listen to me Vega, do not get into that, never, don’t even think about it. I’m not joking.”
“You said you didn’t know anything.”
“No, don’t go there Vega.” Garrus tries to escape the conversation by leaving the room, but in his state he is only able to take a few steps before he gives up, sitting in front of Steve. “You ehm… should leave it.”
“Look at it this way, if you tell me what you’re sooooo afraid of maybe i’ll understand your reasons and put the subject away, but if you don’t…. well… I’m sure Lola knows if It’s true or not.” James walks towards the coach, grabbing his drink, and sitting next to Steve. ”So?”
“So… this is something that doesn’t concern you, and I don’t even know that much but…“ He takes a second, questioning if he should keep talking. ”There was, in fact, something between them,” he finally says. ”But the only thing you should know It’s that it ended up pretty badly, so you shouldn’t insist on the subject.”
“Well, that doesn’t surprise me. I mean, he ended up pointing a gun at her, what a revelation.”
“Not what I was talking about, and to be fair with Kaidan, she was pointing hers at the council.”
“And he backed her up once she explained herself.” Ads Steve.
“So what were you referring to?”
“You aren’t going to quit, eh?”
“Nope”
Garrus sighs and takes a second to process everything. He shouldn’t tell him this, but he is way too drunk to get to that conclusion and is also starting to think that he will indeed ask Shepard if he doesn’t tell him.
“You see… Shepard and Kaidan only met once when we were on Cerberus and well… How do I put this? Ah yes, have you seen the big dent at the access cargo wall, right at the entrance of the ship?”
“Yes.”
“Shepard’s response to their conversation… She… She broke her hand hitting the wall as soon as we got back on the ship.”
“You’re shitting me!” Says James, half laughing half in awe.
“No, no I'm not. And THAT’s how it ended, so I wouldn’t bring it up anymore or talk about it with anyone, especially with Shepard.”
“What is it that Vega shouldn’t talk about with me, Garrus?” Shepard says, appearing out of nowhere, and sitting next to the turian. “Well?”
The tree of them freeze, and after a few seconds of general panic, James starts talking.
~
“Let me get this straight… “ Shepard says, looking at James. “We are at war with the reapers, probably facing extinction, and your priority right now is to know whether or not I hooked up with Alenko back in the day?”
“Yes… Well no, Garrus already confirmed that part.” Shepard turns her head towards the turian, who is trying his best to avoid her eyes. “What I really wanna know is where you stand right now.” Says Vega, without even thinking.
“Please Commander, he’s… Well, we’re… a little bit too drunk right now. Don’t listen to him, he doesn’t mean it.” Steve pleads, trying to save his friend from the mess he’s in. “You know Vega, he doesn’t really have a filter, now less than ever.”
Shepard sights and takes a big breath.
“No harm, no foul, eh?” She says, examining the three men one by one. “ And you seem, in fact, pretty drunk. Well… I guess you really needed to blow off some steam, eh?” She starts laughing at the situation, and the mood of the room lightens a little.
“Do you want a drink, Lola?”
“Sure, why not? Pass me a beer if there’s any”
“Don’t you wanna one of my cocktails? Garrus really likes them.” Says James on his way to the bar. “They seem to loosen his tongue.”
“Don’t push your luck, Vega.”
“I had to try, here you go.” James hands the beer to Shepard and sits again next to Steve. “So… you are mad, aren’t you Shepard?”
“No, I’m not… I can see why you would be curious about that kind of subject.”
“Not, with as… With the major.” Steve and Garrus look directly at James, trying to make him stop talking with their gaze. “I mean...”
“Oh please Vega stop talking before she kills you and everyone else in this room.”Garrus pleads, seeing James isn’t going to stop on his own. “Hey Shep, I’m so sorry about all of this, seriously. I thought if I explained the situation a little he would be satisfied and would not bother you… but I think he, we, are way too drunk to function like propper beings, I’m truly sorry.”
“Yes, please James, stop talking.” Steve adds.
“I’m just saying that as members of her crew, we should know this kind of thing. I don’t know… maybe we have to protect the guy if she tries to shoot him again.” All three of them start laughing at James' comment, with Steve almost falling out of the couch and Garrus trying really hard to look away from Shepard’s direction. “I’ll be also nice to know if we have to pad the Normady’s walls.”
Shepard is looking at the whole scene in silence, drinking her beer with a thoughtful expression on her face. They continue like this for a while, with James making endless jokes and the other two trying not to laugh, and failing miserably.
After a few minutes the room gets filled with quietness, and as the effect of the alcohol begins to fade a little, all three of them start to realize what a terrible idea it was to say all that out loud, in front of her.
Shepard smiles a little, as they are desperately trying to find something to say. James is the first one to talk again.
“Lola, I...”
“I am not.”
“What?”
“You ask if I was mad at Kaidan, didn’t you?” All three of them stare at her in awe, not believing what’s happening. “Well I am not, so you shouldn’t worry. Now, I think you should go to sleep this one off.”
Steve and James make a sigh of relief, nod at her, and disappear in a few seconds, thanking whichever god was able to let them off of that situation. Garrus, on the other hand, stays where he is, looking at her while she stands up to throw her empty bottle away.
“Why aren’t you?” Garrus asks, with more concern than curiosity on his face.
“What?” Shepard says, turning to look at him.
“Why aren’t you mad with Kaidan?” He takes a second, trying to analyze what he knows about the situation. “I would be, If I were you.” Shepard moves to sit in front of him but doesn’t say anything. She just nods at him, waiting for him to carry on with his argument. “I mean… I was there in Horizon, Shepard. I saw what you went through, for months, when we were with Cerberus.”
She looks at him, smiling a little. But she doesn’t say anything.
“Don’t get me wrong, I like Kaidan. He’s a good guy, a good soldier but… I just can't wrap my head around the fact that you aren’t mad at him.”
“Why should I?” Shepard takes a moment to think and Garrus smiles, waiting for her to order her thoughts before exposing them. “I won’t deny Horizon was a low blow but, after thinking about it, I can't say I blame him for any decision he made. I mean… When you look at it from the outside... I magically came back from the dead, joined a terrorist organization, destroyed a relay, killed thousands of batarians and ended up arrested on Earth.”
“When you put it that way...”
“Yeah… I’m actually surprised he didn't shoot me at the Citadel.” They both start laughing. “I did give him a lot of reasons.”
“I’m glad he didn’t.”
“Aw, thanks Garrus, I knew down there you cared about me.”
“Funny, Shepard… Very funny. You know what I meant. You’ve lost enough people you care about.”
“Yeah.” Garrus sees how Shepard’s smile fades away, looking at the door for a second before talking again. “Well… I’m also glad… that he didn’t.”
The turian stares at her for a second, trying to read her face, and Shepard doesn’t know how to act. She looks to every corner in the room before looking again in his direction, his expression it’s still the same.
“You’re creeping me out Garrus, what on Earth are you..”
“Do you like him?”
“What?”
“Kaidan… do you like him again?”
Shepard is suprised, to say the least. Garrus has never been the type to talk about feelings, and even less in such a blunt way.
“Why do you ask and what have you done with Garrus?” She says laughing a little.
He laughs in return, knowing how uncharacteristic it is of him to have this kind of conversation.
“I just… Shepard, look, we’ve been friends for years now, so allow me to say this, and then you can do whatever you like with my advice.” She nods at him. “If we all die in a week...”
“Don’t jinx it”
“Again, funny… But, if it happens, what would you do, if you knew it before time?”
Shepard looks at the ground, she can’t deny she has wondered about that type of situation, but in the end reality was always stronger than the ‘what if’s.
“I see what you mean Garrus… but if I don’t die in a week and he doesn’t... well… I still need to be able to work with him, you know? There’s more at stake here than my feelings.”
Garrus nods, knowing he won’t convince her and stands up as she does.
“Thanks for the conversation anyway, I know what you were trying to do and I appreciate it Garrus, I truly do.”
“One day you’re gonna have to put yourself first than the rest of the galaxy Shepard, if anyone has earned the right that’s you.” As they walk out of the room he decides to attempt again. “You haven’t answered my question,” he says when they make it to the door, trying one last time before they part ways. “Do you like him again?”
She looks away for a second, a thousand thoughts going through her mind, before she decides to give in and tell the truth.
“Not again.” She turns to look at Garrus, who’s waiting patiently for her response. The look on his face is a mix between kindness and concern, free of any kind of judgement, and after a few seconds in silence she gives him a melancholic smile, taking a big breath before looking directly at Kaidan's room. “I… I’ve never stopped.”
-----------------------------------------------------
I'm in love with the friendship between Garrus and Shepard, one of my favourite moments in ME3 is Garrus cheering you up in a conversation between missions. This gives me the same vibe.
I'm also very glad I was able to get Vega in this history, he's always very funny to write about.
Previous chapter -> [link] Next chapter -> [link] All chapters -> [link]
As always feel free to ask for fics or give me suggestions!!!
17 notes · View notes
ghostxofxartemis · 3 years
Note
John x Ashley: hugging for too long?
Thank you for submitting this amazing prompt! Not only did I manage to get a birthday fic done for John, I also managed to fit this in! From this prompt list!  Fic also available on AO3.
A huge thank you to @bardofheartdive for beta reading for me! You are simply amazing! 
Happy Birthday, Shepard!
Shepard is sitting at his desk in his cabin in the Normandy SR1. His chair is hard, uncomfortable, his back is sore, though that’s the least of his concerns; he feels like it should be Anderson in here and not him. His mind is unfocused, his thoughts keep going back to their mission on Feros a few days ago. The Thorian still churns his stomach as he remembers how it was controlling the colonist. It’s not the only thing keeping him distracted, there is an awful lot of commotion coming from the mess hall just outside his cabin, making it difficult to finish his report from their mission on Elatania this morning; those space monkeys were just a pain in the ass to deal with. Having Ashley and Liara giggle away at him while on all fours didn’t exactly help with his mood either.  He’s certainly not feeling like someone who spent months and months on end through a grueling program to achieve N7, but more like a serviceman grunt at this moment. 
"What in the devil's work is going on?!"
Frustrated, he flicks his stylus onto his desk, then stands up, makes his way to his door and steps into the mess hall. He’s not one to usually lose his temper, but the persistent migraine he’s had the last past two days after receiving the cypher on Feros has been driving him insane. The commotion was just making it worse, souring his mood that much more. 
There is an unusually large crowd, most of whom should be working, gathered around the tables. Plates, cups, bottles of varied drinks, beer, and bowls full of different snacks were set on the tables. 
Ashley and Kaidan are at the kitchen counter, their backs facing him. They are in the middle of sniggering at something Shepard clearly missed out on. 
He walks up behind them very quietly, his head peering over their shoulders.
"What are you two doing?"
Ashley yelps, dropping her spatula. Kaidan jumps slightly at the unexpected visitor, face turning red from embarrassment, his expression resembling that of a kid getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar, knowing very well they aren't supposed to do that. Looks like two squadmates forgot they have an infiltrator among them. 
Ashley turns to face Shepard, a guilty look on her face, icing splattered on her cheeks and the tip of her nose.
Shepard's breath hitches, his heart skips a beat or several for that matter, and his lips twitch upwards into a half-smile. Just when he thinks she couldn't get any more adorable, she somehow manages to prove him wrong at every turn. His mind races, thinks about all the things he would very much love to do to her, then forces them back down just as quickly, out of mind. He's not that guy anymore, if he's to be with Ashley, he is going to do it right this time. Though… something tells him she wouldn't mind too much. First, they have to get rid of a little problem, a Rogue Spectre problem.
Shepard looks at her sheepishly.  
"Chief… you got….er," Shepard clears his throat, "you've got icing on your face."  He points in the general vicinity of her face.
“Oh!”
Ashley wipes the back of her hands, also covered in icing, against her cheeks, resulting in an even worse smear than she had just moments ago. 
“Did I get it?” She asks him, her eyebrows furrowed together. 
His grin widens just a fraction more, breath caught in his chest. He can feel his cheeks turning a little pink. He reaches for a napkin on the counter, then lifts it up to her, raising an eyebrow.
“May I?” 
Ashley’s cheeks turn a bright pink, her eyes take on a look of utter embarrassment as she nods at him. 
“Where did you learn how to bake, Ash? Normally you put the icing on the cake, not bury your face in the container,” he teases as he wipes the icing with the napkin off her face. 
“My mom and I would bake cakes together for every special occasion. Birthdays, holidays...you know.” 
Shepard throws the dirty napkin in the trash, “Question still remains...why are you and Alenko baking a cake?” 
He looks around, still confused. He certainly doesn’t remember giving everyone permission to gather around. He isn’t opposed to down time, but there have to be at least a few people manning stations. Was there a special occasion he was unaware of? 
“Shepard, it’s your birthday…” Kaidan says incredulously. Wondering how someone could possibly forget it’s their birthday. 
“Wha…?” John squawks, now he’s the one with the incredulous look on his face. He checks his omni-tool, hoping this is somehow all a big joke. When he notices the date his eyes widen, and he mutters something under his breath that sounds along the lines of  “you’re shitting me.” 
“It’s April 11th… your birthday…” Alenko drags the last two words like it’s the most obvious thing in the whole galaxy.
John crosses his arms across his chest, and shifts his weight onto his hip. His M.O. that he’s about to be stubborn and stand his ground. 
“That’s nice. But I don’t celebrate my birthday. So clean this mess up, and get back to work. That goes for everybody,” he says as he uncrosses his arms, turns on heels to make his way back to his cabin. Instead, he comes face to face with a seven feet tall wall...a krogan wall to be exact. Wrex had come up behind him, blocking his way. 
“Out of my way, Wrex.” 
Wrex growls, Shepard’s scowls.
If there’s one thing that puts a sour taste in his mouth, it is people wanting to celebrate his birthday. He hasn’t celebrated since he was five and that’s simply because his mother was still alive that year. After that the birthday celebration ceased to exist, other than occasional shots he’d share with fellow soldiers, and wasn’t going to start now. 
“Anderson told us you might object so... Wrex here volunteered to be your personal bodyguard for tonight,” Alenko smirks and John balls his hands into fists, nails digging in his skin because he’d rather feel that pain than punch his friend in his smug-faced expression. 
John inhales loudly, he’s about to argue until he thinks better of it. He really isn’t in the mood to go head to toe with a Krogan at the moment. He uncurls his fists, exhales while throwing his arms up in the year in exasperation.
“Fine!” 
Engineer Adams cracks a beer bottle open, and hands it to Shepard with a sheepish look on his face. Shepard growls slightly before muttering a barely audible “thanks.”
“Chief, just one request… no candles” 
“I make any promises, sir.” Ashley gives him mischievous smiles. Shepard shakes his head before turning away to make his way to the table and sits next to Tali who seemed to be overjoyed by seeing human customs for the first time.
~~~~~~~
Ashley waits until Shepard finds a seat next to Tali at the tables before she turns around and picks up the spatula. 
“Great, the icing is ruined now’” she grumbles.
She feels Kaidan elbowing her just a bit. She looks to see him with a coy smile on his face.
“What?” She demands, one eyebrow raising to her hairline.
“Nothing,” he shrugs and takes the spatula from her hand. 
“You’re withholding something.” She sneers at him.
“Me?!” Kaidan feigns innocence. “I would never!”
Ashley rolls her eyes and snatches the spatula from Kaidan and washes it. It’s always the quiet ones you have to look out for, she thinks to herself. 
“I think the icing is fine, chief.”
“It really isn’t. Has to be perfect and there’s a spot missing icing and since someone sneaked up behind us, it’s going to be tricky to get it right without messing the rest of the icing.” She sighs as she dries the spatula with a dishcloth. 
“I didn’t take you for someone who demands perfection.”
“Really?! Have you seen your pistol, LT? Has it ever been in any better condition until I started taking care of it?” She scowls him.
“Good point.”
Ashley sighs. 
“Why don’t you let me give it a try.” Kaidan offers her a hand.
“I...oh alrighty.” With resignation, she sighs louder as she hands him the spatula and takes a couple of steps to the side to give him room. 
Kaidan eyes the cake for a moment before scooping up more icing from the container. He feels Ashley’s hot breath down his neck.
“Chief. I can’t focus while you’re breathing down my neck.” Kaidan looks down at her with raised eyebrows.
“I’m sorry! Okay. I won’t watch.” She sucks in her breath as she puts her hands over her eyes, though peaks through her fingers. She rolls her bottom lips between her lips, a nervous tell. 
Kaidan chuckles, shaking his head, slaps on the icing, and follows the trajectory that Ashley was doing earlier, somehow even making the icing look smoother than it had when she had done it. 
“Is it done?!” 
“It’s all good.”
Dropping her hands, she inspects the cake, a sly smiling making its way at the corner of her mouth.
“Not all heroes wear capes! Now, where’s that candle I had brought up earlier?” Before she can even look for it, Kaidan lifts up the candle to her eyes. She snatches it and places it next to Shepard’s name on the cake.
“I hope he doesn’t kill us. I am pinning this on you if he gets even more in a soured mood. Everyone should get to celebrate their birthday. You know what Anderson told me, last time we were on the Citadel?” She looks up to Kaidan, her eyes now distant deep in thought.
“No. What did he say?” Kaidan asks her, curious.
“The Skipper skipped out on his own birthday dinner with Anderson last year. Just no show. Anderson asked him about it later and the skipper just simply said ‘he didn’t feel like celebrating another year of making it out alive’.”
Kaidan’s mouth gapes open, and he closes it just as quickly. No words come out. Ashley couldn’t blame him. She had had the same reaction when Anderson had told him. 
“Anyways. Let’s go give him his cake.” Carefully, Ashley lights the candle with a lighter and picks it up while Kaidan picks up the cake they made for the dextro-amino crew mates and they make their way to the table while singing ‘Happy Birthday Shepard.’
Ashley’s gaze locks in with Shepard’s, his cheeks turn red and she feels hers heat up, forcing her to look away embarrassed. By some miracle, she manages to get the cake in front of him and chuckles when he covers his face with both his hands and mutters “for the love of God” at it.
“I told you I made no promises.”
“I know!” He grunts behind his hands before rubbing his face and blows out the candle.
“Now you get the honors of cutting, commander.” Kaidan smirks as he puts down the cake for the dextro.
“Yeah, no thanks. You know what,” Shepard picks up the cutting knife and hands it over to Dr. Chawkas, handle first, “why don’t you do me the honors, good doctor.” 
“Oh, Commander. I couldn’t.” She lifts her hands and shakes her head.
“Please. I insist. This is already too much.” Shepard levels the knife in his hand, giving her a sly smile.
“Well, in that case,” she sighs. 
While Dr. Chawkas cuts the cake, Shepard hands her the plates and she lays them on the table for anyone to grab until both cakes have been symmetrically cut. 
“So, Tali, I’m curious,” Ashley says as she slides in the seat next to Shepard and takes a bite from her cake in hand, “how do Quarians celebrate birthdays?” 
“Well. Quarians are only allowed one toy as personal possession while we’re children, and on our birthdays we part with them for us to get a new one.”
“Wait? You only get one toy?! Do you get to choose what it is at least?” Ashley asks Tali, perplexed. 
“Oh yes! We do get to choose among what is available, but we don’t always get what we like. We just have to make do. With limited space, we can’t get too choosy. That’s why on our birthdays we get to choose who gets our old toy, and we get to pick another one from what’s available in the storage.”
“Like a hand-me-down.” Ashley says as she licks her fork. She catches Shepard shuffling in his seat next to her in her peripheral vision, his hands grab hold of fabric from his trousers and he adjusts them slightly, pulling down on them. It took everything she got to resist looking down at him to see if she had managed to get a reaction out of him. She smirks. She reaches for an opened beer bottle on the table and opens it, gulping a good draft from it.
Ashley puts her bottle down on the table. “My parents couldn’t afford much on my father’s salary, so often, whatever I didn’t use anymore would get passed down to my sisters. But my parents always made sure we got something new for our birthdays. Something we wanted.” 
“Right. Something like that. But it wasn’t new.” Tali agreed.
“Heh! You humans and Quarians are soft. On our birthdays we drink ryncol and blow things up.” Wrex’s booming laugh shook the table. 
“Remind not to give you ryncol while on my ship,” Shepard shakes his head. 
The thought of the ship blowing up while they were in space was not a comforting one. How would he explain that one to the Alliance? Ashley could only imagine how the conversation would go for the Skipper’s side. Yeah, my krogan passenger decided to light the Mako on fire and send it off through the cargo door while it was still down, is probably what he would say. 
“Relax Shepard! After a few hundred years you don’t really care about celebrating anymore.” 
Ashley feels a shift beside her. Skipper. She gets a whiff of his musky scent mixed with cedar as he stands up and moves behind her to make his way to the counter. Her heart skips a beat, his signature scent always seemed to get her all warm inside. How can people not smell him coming? He just smells so good. She locks eyes with Kaidan who sits in front of her and feels herself starting to blush. Kaidan's eyes tell her he is on to her. Is she that obvious of her feelings for the Commander? Oh Gosh, what if Kaidan reports her? No. She tries to put those thoughts out of mind. 
Kaidan clears his throat, and he pulls her back to the present. Maybe she was panicking for no reason after all. 
“Now’s probably the time to give him what you got him, while he isn’t at the table,” he whispers. The others are too immersed in conversations to pay attention to the two of them. 
Ashley exhales deeply. “Right. Well here we go.” Standing up, she picks up the gift bag she had tucked under the table, and somehow Shepard had completely missed, at least, she thought he did and made her way to the skipper. 
Shepard’s back faces her and she inhales before she taps him gently on the shoulder. He looks back to her while washing his hands. 
“Williams.”
Ashley lifts the bag to him. “I...er… I got you a little something. Picked it up last time we were at the Citadel.”
He turns his head away from her, hiding his expression, and for a moment she thinks she has overstepped and maybe made a grave error. He dries his hands on a dishcloth before he turns completely to face her.
“Ash. You really didn’t have to do this. All this.” He looks back to the table where his crew conversed with one another. She could hear them laughing.
“Skipper. Really. It’s no big deal. In my family, we always celebrate everyone's birthday. It’s important.” She reaches her arm out towards him more, insisting he takes it. 
Reluctantly, he does. Slowly, he opens it up and takes a peek inside. He reaches inside with one hand and pulls out a weapon upgrade. An eyebrow reaches his hairline as he inspects it.
“How on Earth did you manage to get your hands on a Scram Rail X?! I thought only the Spectre Requisition officer had time in stock?”
“A girl needs to keep some secrets, now. Doesn’t she?” Ashley gave him a coy smile.
“Fine. Keep your secrets then Williams.” He returns her a smile. “Thank you.” 
Ashley rocks on her toes and points to the bag. “That’s not all. There’s more inside”
“Ash…” Shepard rolled his bottom lip between his teeth. A tell-tale sign he was feeling a tad uncomfortable. He places the Scram Rail X onto the counter and looks back down to the bag.  Ashley’s heart sinks a little when she remembers he’d been orphaned so young. Has he never celebrated his birthday before?
She waves him off. “Come on. Open it,” she urges him while bouncing on her toes. 
Sighing, he reaches down again and this time pulls out a box. He places the bag onto the counter and inspects the contents in his hand. 
“How-” His eyes widen, “how did you manage to get your hands on a WWII A-26 Douglas Invader aircraft model?!”
Ashley shrugged her shoulders.
“A girl has her secrets.” Shepard chuckles as he repeats her words and gently puts down the model box onto the counter.
Ashley suddenly gets pulled into a hug. She hadn’t expected this. For a moment she’s shocked, but it doesn’t take her long to return the hug and they hold onto each other tightly. She feels him bury his face in her hair. She feels him shake against her slightly. 
“Is it that bad?” She chuckles nervously as she rubs his back. She knows she should pull away, that this is against protocol, but she doesn’t care. There is just something about being in his arms that makes her feel at home and her heart sinks a little. She can’t imagine not celebrating the birthday of someone in her family. Every year, she and her sisters would always send vidmails to her father who was posted somewhere, eventually her sisters did the same for her when she joined the Alliance. In fact, she knew she would find one in her messages in a few days for her birthday. Shepard… Shepard has no one. He spent most of his life alone on his birthday. 
She rubs her face against his chest to wipe the tears that escaped her eye and trails down her cheek.
“No. Thank you, Ash. No one’s ever given me a gift quite like this one before.” He mumbles against her head. 
She hears footsteps coming up from behind her. She can’t tell who it is as her face is still buried up against Shepard. All she can smell is Shepard’s musky scent mixed with cedar, and she lets herself get lost in it. No care in the world, just the two of them at this moment, and she can count on her fingers how many times she has wished for this since he had shown interest in her and admitted he had feelings for her. 
Someone clears their throat behind her, bringing both her and Shepard back to the present and they separate. Shepard looks away, wiping his face with the back of his thumb. 
“I don’t mean to interrupt this moment, but I don’t want anyone making any fraternization complaints, Commander.”  Ashley turns to face the owner of the voice and sees Kaidan cleaning some of the dishes. She rubs her forehead with a hand.
“We weren’t...there’s nothing between us, I mean.” She starts to panic.
“Don’t worry chief. I didn’t see anything. It’s a birthday after all.” Kaidan reassures her as he picks up the dishcloth and dries the dishes.
Shepard picks up the mod and hands it over to Ashley. “I trust you’ll take good care of this.” 
“You bet, Skipper. The targeting system will be ready for our next mission. Sir.” She says as she picks it up and places it in her pockets.
Shepard gives her a wink before heading back to sit down next to Liara who sat with the others, yet still managed to be distant from them, this time.
Ashley feels a hard elbow to her ribs, and grunts. “What?!” She looks hard at Kaidan, trying to read his mind. 
Kaidan gives her a coy smile, his eyes twinkle with mischievousness Ashley didn’t think was possible for the goody two shoes Kaidan. He brings both his index fingers together and moves them around against each other, “Williams and Shepard sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”
Horror struck, her eyes widen and her cheeks turn red, but what horrifies her most is that her eyes meet with Shepard’s and his eyebrows are raised quizzically at them’ his head slightly tilted to the side. He definitely saw something.  
“You’re blushing, Chief. I mean, I’m pretty sure you’re the same colour of beets right now.” Kaidan chuckles as he crosses his arms and leans up against the counter.
Groaning, she buries her face into her hands. “Oh dear, God. Shoot me now! This is your fault!”
“Hmm. I did no such thing.” Kaidan shuffles away and Ashley scurries to grab a plate of cake and a couple more beer bottles to bring up to Joker up in the cockpit to get away from everyone for a moment. She just barely manages to see someone placing a party hat on Shepard and immediately thinks who did that is a dead man or woman. 
~~~~~~
Shepard currently finds himself alone in the mess. Everyone has either gone back to their post to work or gone to bed. Shepard sits against the cupboards, he is holding his model box in hand, inspecting the box and reading the description. A couple of empty beer bottles are at his feet, a freshly opened one beside him.
“It’s not going to bite you know.”
He looks up to find Ashley standing in front of him. 
“I know’” is all he says. He tilts his head slightly to his left, an invitation for her to sit next to him. She does. 
“You ran off pretty quickly there earlier. Everything alright?”
“Yeah.” She shuffles a little and gets comfortable. She leans her head against the cupboards. “So who’s the dead one?” she asks him. 
“Huh?” 
She points at the party hat. His eyes follow her fingers.
“Oh! Crosby.” 
“Is he cleaning head?”
“Oh, definitely on latrine duty for two weeks. He just doesn’t know it yet.”  Shepard chuckles.
Ashley snorts.
They fall into companionable silence for a while.
“So. Whose idea was this anyway?” Shepard finally asks her after a few moments.
“LT’s and mine. Ander-”
“Anderson told you guys about last year, didn’t he?” He finishes her sentence for her. 
Ashley chews on her bottom lip before nodding. 
Shepard sighs and gently puts down his box between his legs and reaches for his beer. He is just a little upset with Anderson now, but he knows the man only had good intentions in mind. He always does when it comes to Shepard, and Shepard knows this very well. Ever since they’ve known each other, Anderson always has his back. He is the closest thing to a father Shepard would ever have. 
“He said you haven’t celebrated your birthday long before he even met you…” She stops there. Shepard knows she is holding back what she wants to say.
He takes a good draft from his beer. He isn’t sure if it’s because he wants a drink or needs to calm his nerves for what he is about to say.
“I haven’t celebrated since the year my mother was -” He hesitates.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to share if you don’t want to.”
Shepard feels a sudden weight on his shoulders and something tickling his cheek.
His eyes dart to his shoulder and he sees Ashley had let her head fall onto his shoulder. He brushes the free strand of her hair away from his cheek and tucks it behind her ear, brushing her cheekbone with his fingertips as he does so.
“She was brutally murdered, you know. I was five. Watched the whole thing happen. He didn’t even know I was watching. Hidden inside my closet.” 
“Skipper, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry.” Ashley wraps her arms around his closest to her and holds him close, tightly. She intertwines their fingers together. He doesn’t protest. 
“That was the last year we celebrated my birthday together. Wasn’t anything big, we didn’t have very much, but it was her and me and that was all that had mattered to me. Once you’re in a gang, you’re just a number to them. A tool. Birthdays don’t matter then.”
“But they matter to me. And you matter to me- us. So from now on we celebrate your birthday. Whether you like it or not.” She jams a finger against his bicep then goes back to hugging his arm.
“Hah! I guess I don’t have a choice in the matter?” Shepard chuckles.
“Nope. Not this time.” 
“That’s okay. I believe I have a few days left to plot my revenge?”
“You wouldn’t?!” She gasps slightly.
“You’re probably right.” Shepard shrugs nonchalantly as he takes his party hat off and slides it on Ashley’s head. He stares down at her plump lips and leans down toward her slightly. She tilts her head backwards, reaching out slightly, closing in on the distance. The smell of alcohol permeates the space between them as they inch closer and closer to each other. 
At the last second Ashley’s eyes widen just a fraction and she pulls away, red in the face. 
She clears her throat while she jumps to her feet. She rubs her hands on her fatigues as if to dust them off. Shepard notices the bit of nervousness coming from her. “I...er… I have some weapons to check out. I should get back to work. Wouldn’t want them to malfunction while on a mission. Sir.” She starts to walk away and takes the party hat off, holding it close to her chest. 
“Ash?” Shepard calls out and she stops dead in her tracks. She turns around to look at him.
“Sir?”
“Thanks, and... er… sleep well, Williams” His lips curl up into a shy grin.
“Happy birthday, sir.” She turns on her heels and makes her way toward the lift.
“Goodnight Williams.” He says more to himself than to her for she had already rounded the corner and no doubt was already in the lift making her way down to the cargo hold. 
From this prompt list!  Fic also available on AO3.
15 notes · View notes
maxrev · 4 years
Text
Snapchat Shenanigans
For Virmire Week @spectrekaidanalenko​
Shepard and Kaidan overhear a convo between Ash and her youngest sister, Sarah. Shepard can't help but be curious and wants to know more. Kaidan is just the innocent bystander who gets roped into a challenge. 
Ashley grinned at the screen as she talked to her youngest sister, Sarah. A pang of loneliness and longing hit her so strongly, it nearly brought tears to her eyes. She missed her mom and her sisters so damn much. Maybe after they caught Saren, the Normandy crew would get some leave and she could visit. Having had a big hand in helping raise her sisters after her dad died, she sometimes felt more like a mom to them rather than an older sister.
A call home after the fustercluck on Eden Prime was exactly what she'd needed to ground her to reality once again. Just for a few moments of normalcy and to chase away the pain of losing her entire squad. And the guilt. It wouldn’t last long and she knew it but damned if she wouldn’t ride the high for as long as she could, though. Sarah was the last one on to vid chat because they all knew they’d never get a chance to talk to Ashley otherwise.
Brought out of her reverie by the fond thought, she tuned into Sarah's conversation again. “How come you never send us Snapchats anymore? Are you too serious now, soldier girl?”
“Sarah...” Ashley sighed in annoyance. She tried to remember what it was like to be so young; she failed. “I just don’t have time for it anymore, okay? When I actually get a few minutes somewhere, I’ll play around with the app and send you something.”
Her little sister grinned wickedly, "I'll just bug you until you do!" Ashley groaned and Sarah added, "I want several. There are so many cool filters on it now! I’ll send you my favorites.”
Ashley couldn't keep from laughing, “Okay, okay, fine.”
Being silly had gotten them through the endless moves from colony to colony, the heartbreak and frustration of making and losing friends and beginning all over again, with their dad's deployments over the years. Sometimes, their mom had used Snapchat with them, first to bring some laughter into her daughter's lives and then as they began to leave the house, as a way to stay connected and have fun. It had become routine and those silly photos always showed up when Ash needed them most. Maybe Sarah needed them, too.
Thinking on the past, Ash didn’t realize Sarah was asking her something, a sly and calculating smile on her fresh, young face. oh no, this couldn't be good.
“Sooooo...you said you were serving on the Normandy with Commander Shepard, right?" At Ash's nod, she rushed on, words tumbling from her lips, "We all saw him on the news. He’s hot, Ash!"
"Shhhh!!! Sarah, stop!"
It was like she hadn't heard, “Do you get to talk to him a lot? Go on missions together and study strategies...side by side?” With every ounce of dramatics in her teenage voice, it echoed loudly from the vid. "Do you like him?” Before Ashely could even sputter a reply, Sarah added breathlessly, “Oh! And what about Major Alenko? We saw him too! I think you should go for one of them. They’re so...dreamy!” She gave a girlish sigh.
Despite being alone in her corner of the bay, Ashley felt her cheeks pinken and warm at Sarah’s assessment. A furtive glance to the left and behind her showed neither Wrex nor Garrus paying her any attention. She wasn’t entirely immune to either man's 'hot factor', as Sarah dubbed it, but it wasn't a path she wanted to head down.
“Sarah, you know damn well there’s no fraternization. They’re both my superiors and I wouldn’t do anything to mar dad’s memory or make the Williams name look worse. Dad fought for every posting, remember?”
The look of excitement ebbed from Sarah’s face and Ashley fought the pain of not being able to give her little sister a hug. Maybe she’d been too harsh but...Sarah wasn’t a child anymore. Bringing her omni-tool up, she tapped a few buttons and an image of her with a silly, squashed face came on the screen.
She sent it to Sarah. “Message incoming.”
A beep sounded over the airwaves and Sarah glanced down at her own omni tool. She grinned and laughed, looking up at Ashley with a sparkle in her eyes.
"Happy now?"
"Yes! Thank you. I'm going to show it to all my friends at school...oh, and mom and Abby and Lynn, too."
Wonderful. Just the kind of thing the world needed to see about the Normandy crew right now. "Sarah, I don't think it's a good idea to be showing anyone outside the family."
Sarah wasn't listening, typing fast and furious on her omni-tool.
"Show who what?"
Caught unawares, Ashley jumped and squeaked simultaneously. When she turned to see who it was, she wished the floor would open up and shoot her into space. Right now would be perfect, too.
Ashley saluted smartly. "Uh…nothing, sir. Just having a chat with my sister."
Sarah's awed voice floated towards them, "Commander Shepard…"
He grinned and waved at the screen, "One and the same. Who am I having the pleasure of speaking with?"
Ashley stared at him. He was engaged in a conversation with her sister. Oh no, this could not go well at all. For any of them. Sarah would talk his ear off first while also embarrassing Ashley, without even trying.
"You okay, Ash?"
She squeaked again. Good grief, she sounded like a damn mouse...hadn't seen the LT either. Double shit. She was a goner for sure. Might as well go pack her rucksack and be ready to disembark at the next stop.
"Just fine, LT. Didn't mean to take up so much time on my vid call. Sarah can...go on a bit." She'd completely forgotten he and Shepard were doing duty station inspections.
He chuckled, crossing his arms and relaxing with a tilt of his head at the screen. "So I see."
Ashley turned and heard Shepard ask, "Snapchat? What is it? Don't think I'm familiar with it and I have a lot of apps on my omni-tool."
Oh hell freaking no. This wasn't happening to her. Several thoughts ran through her head, vying for attention: Sarah could not show him Snapchat, couldn’t tell him he was hot, couldn’t ask him if he liked her sister and...wait, Shepard had apps on his 'tool? As the thoughts tumbled over and over, she realized something else…
Kaidan had snorted with amusement when Shepard mentioned he had lots of apps. Turning to look at him, she wondered just how well he knew their CO. Something else occurred to her. She gazed at Shepard in a new light. He was just as ordinary as the rest of them on this ship. Easy to forget when he seemed larger than life.
Loud enough to speak over her sister’s gushing voice, Ash said, “We really need to go, Sarah. We have inspections and we’ve taken up enough of Commander Shepard’s time.”
“Oh...yeah, sorry.” She looked crestfallen.
“We have?” Shepard turned those clear blue eyes on Ashley, eyebrows raised in surprise.
Wait...he was enjoying this? What about the inspections? Protocol? Or her soon to be embarrassment. Hadn’t happened yet but it was inevitable.
“Uh, well…” She wasn’t sure how to proceed.
Shepard turned back to Sarah, “So tell me how this Snapchat works.” He played with his omni-tool. “Okay, it’s downloaded, now what do I do?”
Sarah launched into an explanation of what the app was, what it did, the different filters and how to take a picture. Shepard alternated looking at her face on the screen and his omni-tool, confusion written on his face.
“Hang on.” Typing on her own ‘tool, a ping soon came from Shepard’s. “Just to get an idea of what you’ll be doing.”
Standing next to Kaidan, Ash felt paralyzed, hoping Sarah hadn’t sent him something ridiculous...or incriminating. Glancing at her CO, she was surprised to see his shoulders shaking. Oh no. Her eyes connected with Sarah’s in the vid, laughter in their depths. She had a sudden sneaking suspicion.
“Hey, LT, come take a look at this will you? I don’t think the message came through correctly.” He was clearly struggling to speak.
Kaidan stepped up next to him, looking at the ‘tool. He smiled wide, giving Ash a side-eyed glance. Shit. She was going to jail for killing her little sister. All the sacrifices she’d made in the name of her career, only to be taken out by a teenager.
The LT called her over. “Ash, can you come here? I think we need another opinion.”
Dreading every step she made closer to the two of them, she approached warily. Shepard thrust his ‘tool closer so she could see what they were looking at. It was the photo she’d just sent Sarah right before they’d walked up. In the snap, she had a squashed face and bowl type haircut.
Yep, going to be taken in for murder. Looking up at the screen, she saw Sarah looking back at her, childish glee in her eyes, a smile playing about her lips. All the annoyance drained out of her. How could she be mad at her baby sister? Turning thoughtful, she had an idea. There was another way to play this.
She smiled. Crossing her arms and leaning back on one leg, she gazed at Shepard and said, a challenge in her tone, “Yep, that’s me, playing with Snapchat. Bet you can’t do any better than that.”
Hearing Kaidan choke on a laugh, she knew she was on to something. Shepard stood up straight the look on his face enough for her to know he was going to take the challenge.
He affirmed her assessment, “You’re on.”
The next thing Ashley knew, all three of them were in a Snapchat war. From behind them, she could hear Sarah struggling to suck in air between wheezing. When she could speak, it was to egg them on. Before long, all of them were giggling like idiots, tears rolling down their faces, doubled over in laughter. They couldn’t continue, unable to even hold their ‘tools up to take photos anymore.
When they could finally breathe, they looked up. The looks on Garrus' and Wrex's faces had them falling into fits of laughter all over again. One by one, they slid to the floor, piling against each other in a tangle of limbs, trying desperately to come back to some sense of normal.
Sarah’s voice ghosted over their heads, “Hey! Where’d you all go? Are you still there?”
Shepard spoke up, “Still here Sarah. We just...needed a break.”
Ashley stood up, smiling fondly at her little sis, still wiping tears from her eyes. “Time to go, sis. I’ve got work to do. Enough play time.”
A pout formed on her lips, “But...I want to see the snaps. I was so excited.”
Feeling the LT and her CO stand up behind her, Ashley started to say something but Shepard beat her to it. “We’ll look through them and see which ones actually turned out. I think all of us were having trouble between the laughter. Okay, Sarah?”
If her face lit up anymore, Ashley figured she could light the colony. “Yeah, that’d be great!” Then she smiled shyly, “I could...uh...send you all some of mine, if you want.”
“That would be really great, Sarah,” smiled Kaidan over Ash’s shoulder. “We better let you go now. Thanks for the fun.”
She nodded and cut the feed. This call was going to cost Ash big, she knew it. She just wasn’t sure how much, beyond the credits she'd have to pay for going over her time limit.
Turning, she regarded the two men with a suddenly serious face. “I can’t thank you both enough for making my little sister’s day. I just want you to know, I didn’t plan this and I’m sorry things got out of hand.”
Their smiles died quickly, replaced by confusion. They looked at each other, then back at her. “Ashley, we enjoyed this as much as you. We all need to let loose and laugh. Don’t worry about the length of the call and you certainly aren’t in trouble. In fact,” Shepard added, “next time you plan on calling Sarah, let me know. I always need new apps.”
Relief surged through her and she let out a deep sigh. “Yes, sir. I’ll do so. Just remember, she really loves to talk. And loves her apps. You might get more than you bargained for.”
Kaidan groaned, shaking his head. “Which means I’ll be busy fixing his omni-tool and cleaning it up as per usual.”
Feeling more like she fit in than ever, Ashley grinned. He probably would be. She’d seen first hand their CO wasn’t very tech savvy. The one area she’s seen him fall short in.
“Well, we’d better get back to it. Keep up the good work here. Your station is clean, organized and the weapons are working better than ever.” Shepard clapped her on the shoulder and he and Kaidan turned to leave. How he even noticed with all that transpired, Ashley didn't know.
“Aye, aye, Skipper,” she called after them.
His lips twitched with humor at the nickname. Ash knew she was going to enjoy this posting after all.
Tumblr media
27 notes · View notes
n7soldiered · 5 years
Note
1, 14, and 18 for the meme where you answer questions about john c:
WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST EMOTIONAL ABOUT YOUR MUSE?
ugh, sara.  what doesn’t make me emotional about john?  okay, so i’ll be looking at this all through a paragade lens.  let me just say, i know i’m going to start blubbering somewhere, at some point, and i’m sorry about that lol.   @arianashepard
where to begin?  his awful childhood;  his constant loneliness;  his willingness to shoulder every burden, every responsibility, without a single word, because he would rather bear the weight of this onus than have someone else suffer with it.  when i think about john, in the midst of war, how the galaxy entrusted him with its fate and held him and every decision he made under relentless scrutiny, and yet, such a heavy burden never broke him as a man, the weight of responsibility never compromised his judgment? — wow, excuse me as i cry actual tears gbye
there are some events that continue to loop endlessly in my mind, too, like ME2′s opening events:  his death.  dying alone in space, burning up on re-entry and spinning down, down.
horizon.   horizon was such a hard time for john, and that makes me emotional because i don’t see john as someone who ‘breaks down’ easily.  he knows he can’t let shit get to him, can’t let it affect him, and when i ( over )think it, how horizon genuinely broke his heart, i wanna YELL.  it’s john’s whole self-conflict, really–that whole paradox in his mind, that’s what gets me.  he’s heartbroken after kaidan spurns his offer to join him, at the same time, it’s a direct contradiction to his own beliefs, because despite his reliable sense of optimism, john was certain he’d die destroying the collector base.  gosh, he was just so damned lonely, then.  seeing another familiar face had lifted his spirits so high, too, but it was ultimately fleeting.  the thought of john, desperately searching for something familiar—kaidan—but his blind, desperate grab for a scrap of familiarity overshot the one thing that could’ve possibly grounded him during all that chaos?  yo, catch me cryin’ in the club
ME3 is all-around emotional.  especially, when certain scenes/events makes shit really sink in for both the player and shepard:  john’s awareness that the darkness is real, his failures and fears are real, and the whispers that haunt him in nightmares and pursue him in consciousness are real — but wait, ( another favorite aspect ) that keen awareness never slowed him down, nor did it ever compromise his performance out on the field, because nobody knows it more than him;  one mistake, one slip-up, and it’s lights out.  for everyone.
this always makes me want to cry:  the brave and total acceptance of his fate — martyring himself for the chance the universe may keep going, even if only for a little while longer.
there’s so, so much.
oh, WAIT—thinking about how long john will live also gets me so ridiculously emotionAL AAA.  of course, in my canon, he survives the war.  a part of me thinks he’ll live to be 150 yrs old, no doubt, since he’s at least 30% synthetic post-ME2.  but the other part of me thinks he’ll live a shorter life for the same reasons.  will his cybernetics grant him more time to live?  or has this all been borrowed time?  will his cybernetics start failing when he’s older?
TIM spent 4 billion credits on bringing shepard back, but as far as we know, bringing someone back from a state of ‘meat and tubes’ has never been done before.  so, was that all ‘experimental’ technology?  who’s to say that tech was meant to last for years??    ugh.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR MUSE TO SOMEONE ABOUT TO MEET THEM, IN PERSON, FOR THE FIRST TIME?
his name is john shepard, and he’s a fucking legend.  how you’ve never heard of him, i haven’t got the slightest idea, but he’s the nicest man you’ll ever meet in your entire life.  so, wipe the mud you’ve got smeared all over your hands ‘n face from the rock you’ve been living under and get yourself cleaned up, ‘cause i dunno if i mentioned, but he’s also insanely Good Looking.
WHAT ASPECT OF YOUR MUSE’S PERSONALITY IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU?
holy fucking shit—hands down, john’s mental + physical drive to keep going.  perseverance maxed-out at 200%, 24/7.  john’s his own damn unit, okay, and he tries so hard to stay optimistic.  he keeps fighting, despite everything.  it’s actually so moving, i can’t even begin to find the words to explain slkdfjkdf  excuse me, as i get a little personal here, but this is genuinely important to me.  as i’ve stated in my rules, i suffer from severe anxiety ( ocd ), add, depression, and i am fully diagnosed.  i’m physically disabled and visually impaired;  i have several chronic pain conditions that’s caused by damage to, or malfunction of, the peripheral and central nervous systems.  there’s not a day that goes by that i don’t feel like my nerve endings are fraying apart.  it’s excruciatingly painful, even agonizing for me to move some days, but—shit.  
john powers through his physical and mental exhaustion/pain like a one-man war machine.  he takes everything the universe throws at him in stride, and soldiers on—no matter what.  he doesn’t weigh his pain against the trillion or more lives he’d shouldered, won’t ask for a lighter burden—but for broader shoulders.  he constantly lives in the moment and holds his smile up, regardless of how strained it may look, with sheer willpower, even as the weight of the moons, the stars, and all the planets collapse on him. … and that’s so frickin’ inspiring, i really can’t help but to look up to the guy and draw strength from such a mindset.
hmm … above all, it’s how john never lost his humanity.  he never grew cold because of what happened to him.  reserved?  yes.  quiet?  yeah, sometimes.  but never cold.  never cruel.  he’s remained humble and kind and he’d never place himself above anyone.  he’s a gentle soul who’s suffered through hell but he refuses to allow his past to define him and how he treats others.  that’s how i wanna live my life, too, no joke.  john makes me wanna be a kinder person.  one of my favorite quotes from the game:  ❝i won’t let fear compromise who i am.❞   that mentality applies to more than just fear, i’m positive, and that’s just.  that’s just so good.  i love him sm sara omg
3 notes · View notes
the-desolated-quill · 6 years
Text
Hell Bent - Doctor Who blog
(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)
Tumblr media
As I was going through Series 9, I’ve been getting messages from @kaidans-getting-bi, @prettycanarynoir and @thealmightytwittytwat telling me how much they were looking forward to my review of the series finale. Reading between the lines, I could detect an almost masochistic glee to their messages. Like I was being sent to tame a rabid rottweiler and they were assuring me it doesn’t bite whilst stifling sadistic giggles.
Oh yeah. Did I mention Hell Bent was shit? Because it is. It’s very shit. Not that that should come as much of a surprise. Has Moffat ever written a series finale that wasn’t shit? It’s the sheer amount of shit I’m staggered by. How can one man fuck up so much? This is beyond incompetence. I honestly can’t believe anyone could write something this bad by accident. Even Tommy Wiseau’s The Room had some entertainment value. This is just nauseating to say the very fucking least.
So we’re back on Gallifrey... Oh. No we’re not. We’re in America now. One minute in and already we’ve hit Moffat Cliche No. 1. Random change of location or time period for no reason other than to wrong-foot the audience. This is quickly followed by Moffat Cliche No. 2. The ‘clever’ reversal that ends up stripping the emotion and/or tension from previous stories completely. The Doctor arrives at an American diner, and guess who’s behind the counter.
FUCKING CALLED IT!
I knew Clara wasn’t dead, and frankly I’m astounded nobody else saw this coming considering how often Moffat pulls this fucking trick. Like I said before, i’d have been more surprised if Clara had stayed dead by the end.
So back to Gallifrey. I imagine this must have been quite exciting for New Who fans who had never seen the classic series. A proper in-depth look at the Doctor’s homeworld. And yeah, it’s nice to see the Cloisters and the Matrix again, as well as the power the Time Lords have over time, but it doesn’t really bring anything new to the table. In fact, to be perfectly honest with you, I don’t understand what the point of any of this is. Gallifrey, the Hybrid, Ashildr, it all basically comes to nothing in the end. But now I’m getting ahead of myself.
So the Doctor is back and the Time Lords roll out the red carpet... in the form of Rassilon and a firing squad. Now let’s quickly remind ourselves of who the Time Lords are, shall we? Archaic, superstitious stick in the muds they may be, but they’re also insanely powerful, and Rassilon is the most powerful of them all. He’s the founder of Time Lord society. He’s so powerful that he has several artefacts and even an entire tournament named after him. So how in God’s name did the Doctor manage to walk all over them? Through no effort whatsoever, the Doctor manages to banish Rassilon and the entire High Council? Rassilon! Reduced to an impotent, powerless old man! How did the Doctor manage this? Because the script said so. That’s basically what it boils down to. I’m not saying Rassilon and the Time Lords don’t deserve it, but there’s simply no threat or tension here. The Doctor, the renegade, the outsider, just banishes them with little to no effort. Good old Moffat Cliche No 3. The main protagonist is the most important, specialist and bestest guy ever who is just awesome at everything, regardless of logic and sense.
Then it’s time to talk about this stupid Hybrid that’s been teased throughout this poxy series. The Doctor asks the General why they didn’t just ask him about the Hybrid in the first place. A very good question, and Moffat chooses not to answer it because that would reveal just how fucking pointless Heaven Sent really was. Also, brief side note, why did Rassilon try to kill the Doctor when they still need him to confess what the Hybrid is?
This whole Hybrid thing has got to be, hands down, the worst series arc in the whole of New Who. I’ve never seen a more poorly mishandled arc. So the Matrix told the Doctor about the Hybrid when he was a little boy. Not only are we back in Listen territory with Moffat stomping carelessly through dangerous waters and potentially revealing too much information about the Doctor’s origins, it also doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense. If the Doctor has known about the Hybrid all this time, why is it only now that the Time Lords are worried about it? And how did they even find about it if the Matrix only told the Doctor? In fact why did the Matrix tell the Doctor at all?
So what is the Hybrid? It’s not half Time Lord/half Dalek (why did the Time Lords even assume that in the first place? Two warrior races? That could be fucking anything). Ashildr isn’t the Hybrid. Her only purpose it seems is to be a red herring. (So much for that narrative thread. She didn’t even get a proper conclusion or anything). The Doctor being half Time Lord/half human is very rapidly rejected (to which I breathed a sigh of relief so massive I may have caused a spike in the Earth’s carbon dioxide emissions). Turns out the Hybrid is... the Doctor and Clara?
Tumblr media
Well it looks like we can add the word ‘hybrid’ to the ever-growing list of words that Moffat clearly doesn’t understand the definition of. Along with ‘psychopath’, ‘egomaniac’ and ‘diminishing returns.’ How are the Doctor and Clara like a hybrid? That’s just such an unnatural way to describe a relationship between two people. Moffat clearly thinks this is all clever-clever, but really it’s just painfully forced. Not to mention inconsequential. The Hybrid is destined to destroy the universe. The Doctor extracting Clara from her timeline could do that, but we never actually get to see the repercussions for this. Then the Doctor bizarrely suggests that erasing one of their memories would make everything okay, but how? If Clara’s mere existence puts time and space in danger, how does erasing her or his memory change that?
Oh but it gets so much worse.
Heaven Sent was trying to push the idea that the Doctor is utterly lost and ineffectual without Clara (an idea I utterly detest and protest to most strongly). Hell Bent takes it one step further, implying that the Doctor relies on Clara entirely in order to make moral choices. The most notable example is when, after the Doctor rescues Clara, he shoots the General in order to escape. Yes the General doesn’t die, because he/she/they are a Time Lord, but I was pretty appalled by how blasé the Doctor was about it. He tries to downplay it, saying dying is the equivalent of man flu for a Time Lord, but the fact is the Doctor has just taken a chunk of the General’s lifespan for literally no reason as far as I can see. This is scarcely trivial. Moffat is clearly trying to demonstrate how dangerous the Doctor is without Clara’s influence, but to do so he’s twisting the character into unnatural shapes and insulting the audience in the process. Can you imagine the Doctor going to such extreme lengths for any other companion? Fuck no!
Clara has already been established to be the most important companion ever thanks to the god awful Name Of The Doctor, saving the Doctor’s life throughout his long history (Moffat Cliche No 4. The sassy dominatrix who acts strong and independent, but really is only there to prop up the male hero). Now Moffat has taken another insulting step by implying that the Doctor needs Clara to be a decent, functioning person. How much more fucking arrogant can Moffat possibly get? It’s bad enough that throughout Peter Capaldi’s tenure, Twelve has been portrayed as completely ineffectual without his precious Mary Sue around to fucking babysit him, but this just takes the biscuit. How DARE you suggest to me that the Doctor needs Clara for his most important qualities. How DARE you suggest to me that the Doctor is a violent, unprincipled killer without Clara. How fucking disrespectful is that to this character’s legacy, to put your own special creation above and beyond him and say he gets all his defining characteristics from her in order for the showrunner to massage his own humungous fucking ego. Clara even gets her own fucking TARDIS at the end! So much for questioning whether her becoming like the Doctor is a bad thing or not (not that the series was ever really concerned about that. Like I said before, Clara’s arc was never really about Clara). As that American diner flew off into the sky, two words escaped my lips:
Good riddance.
Series 9 was... fucking atrocious. With the exception of Face The Raven, none of these episodes are remotely good. The Doctor is once again placed under a microscope to be scrutinised while plotting and characterisation fell to the wayside. The stories were often boring, nonsensical and convoluted, and the series ‘arcs’ (if you can even call them that) were poorly developed and had no satisfying payoff whatsoever. Hell Bent was just the final turd on top of the dumpster fire. A pointless, vacuous load of absolute arse written by a man too stupid and too self absorbed to write anything worthwhile or compelling, and clearly has absolutely no fucking respect for the franchise he’s writing for. I’ve been getting into a bad habit of describing each subsequent series finale as the worst series finale so far. The Name Of The Doctor was the worst until Death In Heaven took over. Death In Heaven was the worst until Hell Bent reared its ugly head. Now I’m too scared to declare that Hell Bent is the worst series finale so far in case I jinx the Series 10 finale. Can it get any worse than this?!
20 notes · View notes
meggannn · 6 years
Note
more for lydia (of course): 21, 24, 45, 49
i am the worst person for taking like a day to respond to this omg
21)   Best Friend(s)?
it’s hard to categorize her best “friends” because for a while she doesn’t really consider them friends, she considers them “acquaintances she has varying degrees of closeness and unique relationships with” while not realizing that like… that is the definition of a friend? lmao (like for example, she only really let herself think of garrus and tali as ‘friends’ instead of ‘crewmembers i’m fond and protective of’ until the shore leave after the battle of the citadel. though while she was close with her me1 crew, i do think me2 is the first time she realizes she’s allowed to think of her team as friends too.
me1: kaidan and ashley at least in the beginning. by the end of the game i think she’s closer to tali as well
me2: at first, garrus and kasumi, and later when they join, tali and samara. i say this with like, knowing she has fondness for all of her crew
me3: garrus and, after renewing their relationship, ashley
24)   Do they have a love/hate relationship with any of them?
not with any of those mentioned above, though i think her relationships with miranda and jack in 2 are a little… not adversarial, but shepard is wary of them as much as she likes them. miranda for obvious reasons, and jack because she genuinely likes her after a while but being around her for so long is a bit of a drain on her energy, since she kind of reminds her of the kids from her old gangs. zaeed she definitely has a love/hate relationship with in 2, in that she appreciates his talks and advice but doesn’t appreciate his attitude and volatile unpredictability.
45)   Do they use social media?
lmfao I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT SHEPARD ON SOCIAL MEDIA OKAY YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ASKED ME THIS, it’s not that she’s very tech savvy (though there’s some proficiency with hacking) just growing up as a teenager on earth who stole/resold a lot of omnitools and translators and laptops, she had very few other pasttimes when cash wasn’t coming in. i think she was really into social media during ict training with other candidates, as a way of bonding and non-physical de-stressing. and she obviously knows a lot of online slang and shitty corners of the internet from her teenage days. in the alliance she goes through periods of activity followed by periods of forgetting about the internet at all, like when she’s on missions.
by me1, she’s established enough that i think she’s convinced herself a commander shouldn’t post on social media, that’s not appropriate, blah blah. so for a while she’s mostly quiet with only occasional funny but nonoffensive comments on things like pop culture or whatever. then after the battle of the citadel she gets a huuuuge influx of followers, and she’s like ??? cause she doesn’t use her space twitter much, so she kinda posts once like "hey thanks for the support, look out for my album coming out next spring” and everybody loves it, until she starts talking about the reapers publicly and preparing for war, then everybody’s like “god shut up i thought you were cool” so she gets angry when it becomes apparent that most people just want a figurehead, not her to actually say anything, but she can’t go back to making jokes and pretending things are normal, so she stops posting altogether. maybe like, once or twice more about something irrelevant, and then three weeks later she’s dead. (and then her crew like garrus and tali in particular waste so much time on the internet looking at her online profiles, rereading her last posts, hunting through years worth of her feed far back enough to see she was a different person once, both of them in mourning but garrus denying it)
and then me2 happens, and she’s obviously not thinking about social media for a while. when she does, it’s like maybe midway through the game, like maybe on illium kasumi drags her out to dinner cause she found authentic thai in the markets, and shepard’s just content enough to think “this is the kind of meal you post a picture about and share on social media” and she considers it before remembering oh yeah i was dead……. is my account even still there? how weird would it be to suddenly post out of nowhere again? i know the rumor is i was just under cover, but would it help or hurt the war to treat this like normal? and she basically overanalyzes and decides not to say anything at all. (in reality i think after she died her account was given the space equivalent of a twitter verification, like Yes This Was The Real Shepard’s Account, Tweets Might Be Recorded, which she only discovers after she logs in on a whim back on the ship). i don’t think she breaks this social media fast until she either uses it one day because she 1) completely forgets she was avoiding it, like she just wakes up randomly and types “i had the weirdest fuckin dream let me tell yall about it” because she’s still half asleep and convinces herself it’s a good idea, then goes back to sleep and wakes up to a million notifications like “i KNEW YOU WERE BACK!!” and “SOMEONE HACKED SHEPARD’S ACCOUNT THAT’S DISGRACEFUL” and she’s like oh boy. OR 2) she gets so heated over something stupid (that is definitely about human pop culture) that she completely forgets/doesnt give a rat’s ass anymore about maintaining silence online. like “I JUST HEARD SPACE BEYONCE WASN’T NOMINATED FOR A GRAMMY LAST YEAR. WHAT THE FUCK?” after the collector base, she feels a little more freedom to be funny and has the time to engage and post about pop culture again, so she gains some attention back for that
by me3, coming out of alliance-imposed isolation, i think she takes back to the internet whenever she can, for better or worse, but because most of the news she swallows is so awful, she tries to be positive and reach out to people who @ her, like she doesn’t want to lie to them, but she tries to signal boost official evacuation and relocation efforts and stuff. when the alliance starts gaining allies, there’s a little bit of expectation for her to use her accounts as a political “so honored the turian hierarchy is joining us” blah blah kind of tweet, so she’s kind of like…. well people deserve to know we’ve made an accord, but i’m gonna do it my way, and she essentially starts sharing all the stuff that’s happening on the citadel that might get easily lost in translation, like
“i can confirm councilor udina was just killed by spectre williams after a standoff on the presidum, after he threatened the life of another councilor. we have confirmed that he was compromised by cerberus after his participation in a failed coup. please see the official statement for more details. the death of a high profile politician is always a shock, but to those feeling betrayed, i want every human and alien to be reminded that spectres are chosen to protect the galaxy from both foreign and internal threats. ashley williams takes her role seriously, as do i, and her actions saved lives yesterday. in light of the recent citadel attack, the alliance would also like me to encourage people to remain vigilant against cerberus cyberwarfare and contact with reaper tech. stay safe, everyone.”
just like, very honest, frank statements or clarifications that might not otherwise get out there, with an emphasis on trying to keep morale as high as reasonably possible. it’s not classified info, but she wants people to stay informed, like she wants people across the galaxy being bombarded who think they’ve been abandoned to know that she’s still fighting for them everywhere she can. even though she’s feeling really dejected and pessimistic sometimes i think she’s determined to make other people believe they can win even when she isn’t sure herself.
post-war (AHHA YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE AFTER ME3, DIDNT YOU) as soon as she can travel, she kind of shoves her way into politics via reconstruction efforts despite her unstable health because she’s terrified everything will just go back to normal and the underprivileged people in slums and terminus colonies will be ignored. i think she keeps up the informative trend of letting people know what’s going on, like explaining what this or that emergency bill that was just passed by the council means, ‘cause she’s still new to politics and honesty all this dense language would’ve definitely confused her too. eventually as things start getting more settled she feels less guilty posting about how her day’s going. and then at one point, there is definitely a collective internet freakout when shepard acknowledges/makes a joke about one of the memes about her, and she’s like “what, you guys think i never go online or something?? i was a teenager once, i know how the internet works!” (she actually doesn’t spend that much time in forums or the like, she just learned about the meme from garrus and vega.)
(and then at some point post-war garrus, who used to have a dumbass video game let’s play account that gained a ton of popularity after me1 when shepard found out about it and asked to play turian call of duty with him on it (the vid was entitled “i play turian call of duty with commander shepard (my co)” and was mostly just them horsing around and then it went viral, but he took it down after she died and then purged the whole account/his entire online presence when he went to omega. but anyway a while post-war garrus comes to her like “hey you remember that video we made” “i remember the jokes about it” “well uh, i just managed to fix this old console i found at a flea market, do you want to do it again? yknow just kill time and lift people’s spirits?” so he makes a new account and introduces her to a lot of other games, she’s good at space overwatch but then when she gets cocky he makes her play like turian dark souls or some shit, and they record and post it online for kicks too)
fuck, i still have one more question left to answer???? i spent a fucking lifetime writing up this, I TOLD YOU ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT LYDIA WAS A MISTAKE
49)   Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey?
mostly i dont think she lets herself think about whether she’s a “good” person because emotionally, and morally, she doesn’t feel much different than she was when she was committing crimes for a living (though she knows logically she’s grown a lot, she convinced herself back then that she was justified in doing bad things by just trying to survive, which is… not entirely too different from now). anyway she still feels like she’s trying to make up for who she used to be, like she wants to put more good into the world than the harm she once contributed to, or failing that, she can at least remove as much of the evil in the galaxy as she can. (i keep forgetting to clarify, she didn’t just do petty theft and break-ins and lookouts and illegal reselling, she was occasionally a debt collector and beat people near to the point of death with biotics, and she hated it but it was mostly out of sympathy that she insisted on going instead of another gangster because if it were anyone else she knows they might’ve dismembered or tortured the person too.)
god i still haven’t answered your question. ive been writing for a full hour, keely. the long and short of it is that i think she’s morally gray. i call her paragade for a reason. she tries really hard to be a good person to make up for who she was (who she “had” to be), so she fights to save every life she can, but against enemies that show no remorse or whatnot, some of her old habits of ruthlessness and reluctance to forgive die hard. 
ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY OCS IF YOU FEEL LIKE SCROLLING PAST MORE LONG PARAGRAPHS ON YOUR DASH, YO
5 notes · View notes
gwynbleiddyn · 7 years
Note
I wanna know everything about my boy Lachlan but I won't make you answer all 100 questions because I'm not /that/ much of a dick. 1, 6, 19, 21, 37, 47 (*EYES EMOJI*), 60, 63, 66, 76, 77, 83, 84, 88, 90, 96, 97
s e a n
1. What do they smell like?
good cologne, fresh air, kind of minty?? he’s always chewing gum. sometimes there’s a tang of metal on his hands from the tech he’s working on.
6. What do they like to wear?
he’s a sharp dresser; fitted jeans and combat boots, casual shirts, sometimes a blazer, sometimes a coat. he’s not one for hoodies outside of the house, and if it’s cold, he’ll pick up a scarf. because he owns like, 300. he’s an infinity scarf kind of guy.
19. Are they right or left handed?
Lockie is a left handed boy. 
21. Favorite kind of weather?
Stormy weather that means he can stay indoors and huddle up. He loves summer storms, especially. 
37. When was the last time they cried?
At his parent’s funeral. He was seventeen, and he had no idea how Cade was going to pull himself together to sort the three of them out.
Generally though, Lachlan doesn’t cry. He just doesn’t. He feels things deeply but they don’t always show on the outside, and he gets a reputation for being quite cold when in reality, he’s not at all.
47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?
[prolonged buzzer noise]
uh
good question
It’s between Kaidan and Steve. You know I’m suffering w/ this. I think I’m leaning towards the whole deliberate christmas dinner set-up with Steve though, that’s just.... too good. Too good. 
60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?
Cade getting his ass handed to him. 
Nothing sweeter than watching big bro get absolutely wrecked and having him being taken down a peg or two.
63. Do they have an accent?
It’s... hard to describe Loch’s accent. He gets mistaken for an Irishman a lot, because his pronunciation seems caught between Welsh and a NY accent which is... uh, ???? a bit of a mess. A cute mess, but a mess.
In public, he’s one of those people who tends to blend in with the people around him, especially in terms of accents -- if he’s surrounded by general american accents he tends to slip into more of his NY accent, whereas if he’s with Cade, he’s noticeably more Welsh.
66. How do they feel about sex?
He’s veeeeerry casual about sex. Had a tendency to sleep around on Arcturus, and shore leave was mostly just “oh, boy, who’s bed is this?” when he woke up in the morning. To Loch, it’s not really a big deal. I know it seems contradictory to his character, but he’s a flirt when he wants to be, and a very sweet talker even more so~ and he’s extremely clinical about compartmentalizing his life, but that’s a whole other crock of shit. Basically, he’s very good at not getting attached to people.
76. Are they good at cooking?
Uh, no. Cade tried to teach him some basics, but he’s just... got no grasp of cooking at all. It’s ready meals and ramen until someone either cooks for him or takes him out.
77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?
He’s not a fan of insulting people. Or conflict in general, tbh. #avoid 
83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?
Sometimes. Lachlan’s definitely not vain, and if anything, he can be insecure at times about really insignificant things like random freckles on his shoulders or something. It passes, though, and generally, he’s okay with himself. Not confident, not shy, just kind of.... okay. He didn’t get into the Alliance without hard work, physically speaking, so he kind of knows he’s got a good body and he’s not ignorant about how striking he can look (thanks @ dad for them golden eyes) but he’s uh, far less inclined to show off than his brother is.
84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?
He loves bright eyes, guys who are quick to smile/laugh, and he definitely prefers leaner guys over jacked-up marines. 
88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?
He’s just shy of 6′2. This is a very sore spot for him because it means he still has to look up at Cade a little.
90. Do they consider themselves attractive?
Not really. Well, it’s more that he doesn’t like to presume that other people would find him attractive.
96. What is their greatest weakness?
Having such a sharp mind has its drawbacks. He can get stuck on something for months, or years, in the case of family. He’s stubborn as hell and hugely analytical of things, and he’ll mull over hypothetical situations long after they’ve passed out of relevance. Sometimes he needs someone to grab him by the shoulders and drag him out of that ditch, whether he likes it or not.
97. What is the greatest strength?
Compassion. He’s incredibly kind, his heart is always in the right place, and he genuinely cares about people. It’s seen him through a lot of awful times, and it’s the one thing he tries to keep hold of, especially during the war. 
4 notes · View notes