#Just since we’re talking about it

[crybaby-bkg]

a slight continuation of this

no caller ID pops on your screen, pulling your attention away from your previous task at hand: not fucking up your eyeliner. you typically wouldn’t care if it was a little uneven, but you’re going on a date tonight, for the first time in so long, and you want everything to go as smoothly as possible.

which is why you groan when you end the call, and that same no caller ID pops right back up seconds later. you know who it is—who else would it be? you figured he’s already seen your story of being excited for going on your first date in a while, on the only app you hadn’t blocked him on. petty? perhaps, but it’s on him to be keeping up with you despite you cursing him out for wasting your time and then blocking him right after.

you watch it ring though, contemplating for a while longer than you should. you blocked him for a reason. no need to entertain his same shit that he always spews to you when he realizes that he might be losing you once more?

….but it doesn’t hurt to hear the hero beg for you.

“What do you want, Bakugou?” You sigh irritably as you finally answer his call, putting him on speaker as you go back to even out your eyeliner. You hear him huff on the other side of the phone at the use of his surname, but he doesn’t say anything about it, instead, quickly telling you what he’s been bothering you for.

“Who’s the fuckin’ loser that’s gonna drool over how good your tits look in that stupid green dress you love so much?” Bakugou grunts, and you instantly feel your face heating at his crude words. You glance over with a frown at that same green dress that makes your tits look good, where it hangs on your closet.

“None of your damn business, Bakugou.” You snap at him, wondering if it’s too late to find something else to wear. “Not like you ever took me out in my stupid green dress.” Your voice holds a level of bitterness that only he can bring out of you, and you hear his sigh through the speakers.

“I told you this before, I’m always—”

“Busy.” You cut him off, voice suddenly thick as you think back on the countless rejections he’s splattered at your feet every time you tried to further your relationship with him. “You reminded me of how busy you’ve been since you first started this whole situationship.”

“Situation—? Huh? We were dating!” Bakugou protests with a huff, and you can hear how he paces the floor quickly. You glare at your phone, setting down your liner to instead pick of your (his) favorite lipgloss.

“You’d have to ask me out to be dating, Bakugou. You’d have to court me to be dating, Bakugou. You’d have to make time for me and take me out on dates and not hide me to fucking date me, Bakugou.” You spit at him, venom dripping off of your lips in waves. You don’t know why you answered, why you even entertained him. You shake your head with a huff when the line goes quiet, eyebrows quirking up when your date sends you a text to make sure you’re still on for tonight.

“I’m sorry.” Bakugou mutters pathetically, his voice suddenly soft. You hesitate, for some reason, when it comes to texting your date back. Why do you always hesitate when Bakugou is around?

“Let me make it up to you, court you, and shit. I can take you to one of my favorite places, you can wear that pretty green dress and that gloss you know I love.” His voice is pleading, thickening and sweet and suffocating. You shouldn’t respond, should reply back a yes to your date.

“Please? You know how much you mean to me.” Bakugou mumbles, and you can hear the earnestness in his voice. Why haven’t you said yes to your date yet?

“I’ll do better this time. Just one more chance, sweetheart.” Bakugou’s voice is so soft, you’ve never heard him this vulnerable before. You sigh with a shake of your head, slumping back into your seat in defeat.

…

Sorry, I can’t make it tonight. Something came up. Maybe we can reschedule for another time?

#sorry this is kinda angsty lol #but I saw this tt earlier where this girl was so giddy bc ‘no caller id’ called LOL #and it just reminded me of the first part to this #at first he’s all ‘no we can’t date bc of xyz bullshit reason’ #but the moment you’re like ‘I’m done w this toxic back n forth we’re not even a couple’ #he’s like WE WERE TOGETHER THE WHOLE TIME!!!!! #delusion is what I like to call it #also he definitely takes you out to a place that’s very secluded and exclusive #to shut you up for the time being #the whole ‘at least I took you out!’ shtick #I hate him actually #but the toxic hate sex goes crazy ☝🏻 #okay gn I’m sleepy and I felt so shitty today #or yesterday #so I’m hoping today will be better #maybe I’ll mediate before I start on my work #I wanna go on a walk sometime this week bc it’s gonna be great weather but my anxiety keeps telling me #that one of the stray cats or foxes is gonna attack me AKSJDKDJDJD #omg does anyone remember me talking about that calico kitty in my backyard at one point??? #I haven’t seen her since and I hope she’s okay :( we miss her :( #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #bakugou treats! 🍬

[mumblesplash]

the fact that doctors can just Recommend Weight Loss with no instructions beyond ‘eat healthier/less’ is actually insane to me, i lost weight on purpose ONCE and it took me like 6 years to recover a semi-normal relationship with food and hunger

#uhh #disordered eating cw #just in case #mumbling #like jfc i know i’m not the first to say it and my experience is relatively SO tame #but it STILL fucked with my head for YEARS #and most people don’t go nearly that long between weight loss attempts at all for basically their whole lives!!!!! #and we’re so blasé about it like yeah just eat less to lose weight #and so few people talk about the really weird shit that phase of my life taught me even though they seem like pretty universal things #like when you lose weight deliberately by denying yourself food you get COLD #you get cold and you get in your head and you get sad it’s like being less alive #the times i’ve lost weight/recomped on accident (by doing smth that makes me move more‚ getting better sleep etc) #it’s been WARM #burn hotter move freer feel happier #and also the way hunger feels when you’ve been denying yourself food for an extended time is NOT the same as baseline hunger #it’s actually kind of wild that we use the same word to describe both feelings like that shit is NOT the same #that shit is not ‘being really hungry’ it’s a fuckin. blood curse or some shit you feel straight up unhinged #and i should disclaim here i am not talking large amounts of weight #i’ve fluctuated over i think a 20lb range max since reaching close to my adult height and that’s a guesstimate #but even in my relatively unremarkable little experiences here the way deliberate weight loss fucked with my brain is absurd to me #i’m fine now have been for years but seriously thinking back on it the fact that this is routine medical advice. unreal

[adrift-in-thyme]

I find it kinda funny that the LU boys make comments alluding to Time being grouchy and unable to “lighten up” because while he definitely can be intense and strict…otherwise he’s sorta just an introvert lol

#like he usually seems to remain kinda quiet when the others are talking #and even sits a little apart #like in the comic where they find out about malon #but generally once they include him he’s willing to participate #and usually finds a way to either tease them or allow them to talk more about their adventures #he’s just one of the quieter and more reserved ones in the group #not as much as four maybe #but close #he also generally seems to not want to come off as intimidating #because every time he does (like like incident and twi’s injury not included) #he falls into a more easy going manner of speech #that’s almost similar to malon’s #to try and lighten up the situation #idk I’ve just been thinking about this the last few times I’ve reread lu #I find it interesting tbh #especially since I know firsthand how introverts can be viewers as stuck up or intimidating because we’re so quiet and reserved #*viewed* #although we’re usually just sitting over there feeling awkward or hanging out in our own little worlds XD #also can you tell I’m a little obsessed with him? XD #linkeduniverse #lu time #trin rambles

[cherrysnax]

havin the weirdest crisis of my life

#this is like. did related so im gonna sound completely uh #what’s the word. odd and shit for a sec okay? okay #so I’ve been here. hi im cheri silver yknow me for about 20 years total but jay used to front for years when we were in middle school #im not the. original host I guess but I’ve been around since #we were in the early single digits and never left #so im the host right? I existed to go thru the Trauma #but. it’s been my life for so long. my parents don’t know Her #they’ve only known me #but like. we’re finally starting to let go of that trauma #errr not let go but make peace with it. and we’ve been holding onto it for so long. I’ve been holding on to it for so long #but.. who am I without it? like yes that’s my trauma but also. is my purpose over?? is that why we haven’t been able to draw? #I’ve been the host for 20 years this is my life #my friends my gf my life my hobbies it’s mine not anyone else’s #I let others take the wheel when I can’t (or they forcibly do it for me) and jays been gone for like 3 years he only came back because I’ve #been being traumatized everyday recently. but like. will I have to go too?? #reintergration is not really our goal. never has been but like #if we do. will I be here or will She come back? we’ve had false alarms before but it’s mostly been decided that it’s my front my life #maybe im just triggered all the time and that’s why I feel extra out of it #less myself #New Traumas are happening to us everyday #but yeah. I dont talk abt this aspect of my life much but it’s so scary to think about #I’ll talk to Chevy when they get off of work tomorrow abt it if it’s still like. freaking me out #I am me. we are a bunch of niggas but I am me. #did niggas when the identity disorder makes them dissociate smh #😫

[footnoteinhistory]

A family friend who was very much a grandfather figure to me passed away today. Once again it was not unexpected but after losing my biological grandpa just two weeks ago it’s a lot lol

His wife died last year and, knowing I’m the family videographer, he asked me to record her funeral service so he could watch it again. I made him a DVD and every time we saw each other since then he thanked me and tried to pay me lol, which I always refused. Finally, last fall, he mailed me a formal thank you note—with money in the envelope, so I couldn’t return it this time

Everyone called him Marv, even his toddler great-grandchildren. He always wore suspenders. If you met him, you might think he was a stereotypically foggy old man at first, friendly and old-fashioned and a bit nutty—but he was brilliant. A Nebraska farm boy who got a full scholarship to become a chemical engineer and never lost his edge. And the nicest man in the world, curious and kind and funny. He and his wife lost their infant son to cancer many decades ago, I hope the three of them are together again now

The physical absence part of death has been hitting hard lately. It’s just stupid intense

And I know it doesn’t always go this way and I’m honestly fortunate so far that it has, but in the back of my head I’ve always thought “ok, grandparents die first, you don’t have to worry about your parents until your grandparents die.” But now it’s all happening very suddenly and that imaginary boundary is almost gone. I notice the ways my parents are getting older and my dad is sick right now and I worry about them more and more this shit sucks

#it’s just odd that we’re going to my grandma’s like usual tomorrow and he won’t be there #when just last week we were there talking about my running. and our mutual hematologist lol #once in high school I made him laugh and he said ‘they broke the mold after they made you!’ I’ve always remembered that #which I’d heard before and since but it was such an earnest heartfelt expression of affection #I’ve always remembered that

[needylittlegirl]

MAN i almost made it through a whole sunday without crying!!!

#my friend was texting me about stuff on her to do list #and she was like ‘man we’re only four months into the year and ive changed and grown so mich already’ #and i know its stupid and silly #but that just immediately cracked open my fear of like being stuck #and it sucks cause ive been having a hard time talking to her because shes just suddenly light years ahead #i know its selfish too #im just tired of always being the friend thats just. Behind in so many ways #i want to grow and change too!! and ive been trying so hard!!! but nothings happened #tbd #i know everyone goes at their own pace but im tired of mine being so slow #ever since i was little ive seen everyone run ahead while i just get stuck in place and i hate it #im just scared that no matter who i have in my life theyre always gonna out grow me #theyre gonna outgrow me and change so much and ill be exactly the same #im so scared that im just never going to be happy and like myself and my life #idk maybe its the fever talking #i can never trust how i feel on sundays

[nico-the-overlord]

“You kids have it soooo easy nowa days! when I was a kid we-” ok but I thought that was goal? Raising future generations to not have to go through the shit of previous ones so they can be successful and thrive within their own lives? Why so bitter dude

#I hear adults saying stuff of wanting us to be successful since we’re the next generation #then say stuff like this #also speaking as a gen z kid #like hell if I looked at a gen z or even gen alpha kid and said ‘I need you to have a hard or harder time as me’ #and I can understand adults saying this as a ‘wow it’s interesting how different our lives are’ sorta thing #but then to use this statement to get upset at or berate people like. cmon. #each have their own set of benifits and challenges #it’s possible to talk about them without making yourself ‘Migher Than Thou’ #ik I have made a couple post talking about generational stuff just trying to grasp why these sorta statements bother me sometimes #nico rambles

[munamania]

i won’t screenshot the dms bc i don’t feel like opening the latest message but EYE posted on my story abt the tiktok pictured below basically about how i got horny thinking abt someone working through a difficult math problem lol don’t worry abt that anyway sam slides up bc i cut part of it out so as to avoid insta censors and my slight embarrassment lol and was like does that say c*m and i was like well yes and then he was like haha what you’re into math… girl u have to walk w the thought process 😑 which i know you’re incapable of anyway so i vaguely responded like ah yeah what being away from stem for so long will do to u and he responds with like ten messages. including. ‘you gotta do it yourself’ that’s not the point 🙄 ‘you know how i’m terrible at talking to women’ wow really ‘so i realized i can calculate the speed of cum’ ‘bc i have some data’ DID I ASK?????!???!?!!!?!!!!! hello there’s oversharing and then there’s this… does the girl you’re having sex with know you share to this extent. and then he said how he accidentally brought this up to someone irl to be like haha awk whoops and i was like yeah well there r times where perhaps we need to self censor. and then i also get a message that’s like ‘hang on im doing the math’ IM NEVER EVER EVER GONNA BE ATTRACTED TO U I HOPE U KNOW THAT SCREAAMMMMM (and u need to know bc he’s genderfluid. im only using one set of pronouns for clarity on here ok i promise im not a dick. but he thinks he’s like. an exception for lesbians basically… like he doesn’t Count…. and like look im no essentialist im all for like freaky gender sex but also at so many other turns you do take advantage of being seen as a white male so. i don’t. yeah.) he’s kind of like the creepy dude at the edge of the friend group in high school named matt who would constantly harass me and my ex but like tried to be so lowk abt it. and it’s so bad basically. ‘17mph is crazy’ i hope you fall in an intersection sorry i can’t do this anymore 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 so pissed i have to see him tmrw i should be able to watch mmxxl w scully in peace

#like. WHAT possesses a person to say all this #it’s not like i’ve never talked abt sex stuff w sam or friends i mean look at my major and shit we’re watching we’re all adults here #but like HUUUUHHHHH???? on my silly little story about wanting to watch someone do calc or some shit… shut up… #it’s actually insufferable and i need u all to know. it has not always been to #like. this egregiously bad. certainly there are some flags i missed over time even when we first met maybe but he was significantly #more chill last year.. at least as far as i interacted w him. this is like. yeah idk #and just any time we’re together in person now he launches into whatever is on his mind or he’s up to at that moment what happened to hello #how are you etc. not that i can even like stand conversation esp like. dude we haven’t talked since the day we recorded the podcast #assignment which was also egregious. why would you start off like this. hello #abby talks #i hope his other roommate like beats him up or something. wont happen but well #AND more importantly. do i wear a mini skirt tmrw if i’m seeing roommate #we’re supposed to but we were also hoping to hang outside and now it’s gonna rainnnn but we’ll see #i don’t usually go for a cunty little fit on a monday. but i could. AND i get to go to class a half hour late

[theothermaidoftarth]

Baela and the Myth of the Child Fighting Pits

Not sure why I keep seeing from green-leaning accounts that in Fire and Blood, Baela visited the child fighting pits. But this is what F&B says about Baela post-Dance:

Nothing about child fighting pits. In fact this is what shows up when I search ‘pits’ in Fire and Blood:

The definition of a rat pit according to awoiaf:

Not the best of places, I’m not going to defend it but there’s nothing about children there (also lower down it’s stated Mushroom said these are the places Aegon II would frequent, which the show turned into child fighting pits).

Also saw it said on here that Baela celebrated Jaehaerys’ murder… Her reaction was not recorded.

Baela is many things and she is not perfect but what I’m seeing is just not accurate. And that’s not even getting into what I’ve seen on Reddit where they say she wasn’t faithful to Jace before his death and was kissing squires while he was in Winterfell. (Narrator: she wasn’t.)

#Fire and Blood #baela targaryen #forget media literacy #actual literacy seems to be dead #though I lean green in some ways this is why I’m not really into the whole ‘team’ thing #except ‘team chaos’ tbh #hotd #kinda #since one account which espoused what’s said above also said Baela’s a bully in the show #Were we watching the same show #Guess they’re talking about the fight with Aemond and I like Aemond but all the kids were in the wrong there #the girls less than the boys since they were grieving #dealing with a deadbeat dad who barely acknowledged their existence the whole time they were there #and they also hardly knew anything about the bullying and taunts Aemond had faced growing up #all the kids were in the wrong but I could see why they all did what they did and how it escalated #the blame should be on the adults above anyone #the fight between the children was a microcosm and consequence of the animosity between their parents #I also think it’s interesting the amount of parallels between Viserra and Baela #Not just the pits but the drunken rides through King’s Landing and betrothals arranged btwn them and men old enough to be their grandfather #I don’t think we’re supposed to take Baela’s actions post dance wholly as a leisure jaunt #They’re also rooted in trauma from most of her family being dead in a bloody and brutal civil war

[canibalistic-brownie]

Catra reminds me of Carmilla and you would think that means Adora is Laura but it absolutely does not, because Adora is definitely Tall Gay Danny and Laura would be Glimmer.

And like as a Hollenstein shipper who also shipped Lawstein and Hollstein and Hollence you just have to understand why I’m also a Glitradora shipper who also ships Catradora, Glitra and Glimmadora.

#glimmadora and hollence are also my lesser of the three ships #which probably also says something about me since they’re the least toxic #but we’re gonna put that on hold #I’m just gonna tag the ot3s because I don’t want to start fights at this disco #hollenstein #glitradora #does me talking about a ship within a tag tag the ship? #let’s find out

[d0d0-b0i]

it’s weird how much lighter my life feels now. not that i don’t have any issues (because there are many in my life, as i am sure there are in yours), but they’re just so much more manageable than they were a year ago.

​what’s more; i love myself now. i may not be perfect. but i am trying my best, and i can tell that i am! i see myself in the mirror, and sometimes i just examine myself, and my features, and i smile. i feel so much more authentic when talking to people, not worrying about how they view me, because i don’t have to anymore. i wish i could’ve told 15-year old me just how good it’s gotten so far, i know that he would’ve loved hearing about the shitty sideburns we’re growing out right now :’)

#it gets better :) #i used to think that transitioning medically wouldn’t lessen the sadness and depression i felt #and to some degree it is still there since t isn’t a cure all #but by the gods it is so much fucking easier to deal with everything #when a major reason for my mental health being the way it was has been abated #it’s like the fog cleared enough for me to actually see the road i’m driving on #instead of assuming blindly that i won’t crash #once i get top surgery. #idk. i wonder if things will be even easier? #i’m almost a year in and already my life feels so much brighter. yeah there’s problems with keeping the house. and yeah #i don’t have an income yet and i don’t know if the internship will even be in the cards for me #but. i just feel that everything will work out. enough for me to enjoy the time i have here :) #sorry i am being sappy but god! i love and i love! so much now!! i feel so much and i enjoy nearly every day despite the Issues #the world is getting worse but still i find reasons to love and live #so maybe one day it will get better? maybe one day my love will have helped even #if you’re reading. i love you. even if you’re just a follower #even if we’re mutuals that haven’t talked before #i think about you often. i wonder where my oldest mutual went after they stopped posting years ago #i don’t think i can forget. and i love you. and i wish i. could give you a hug. we all need one from time to time #i love the friends i’ve made and the friends i’ve had. i love. and this past year has opened up my floodgates of emotion

[lauryn-order]

Do you check dms?

Yup. But I don’t usually have the social energy to reply to them. If we’re not mutuals and it isn’t about something specific, I’m likely not going to reply. I’m not really on here looking for complete strangers to talk to privately.

It’s nothing personal, I just don’t have the mental capacity for it. Sorry!

#I’m just more comfortable talking publicly #since tumblr is like my journal #and my safe space #unless we’re ’close’ mutuals it’s just unlikely to happen #and I’m very sorry about it #and wish I was able to be super social #but I’m just not

[bookwyrminspiration]

I don’t know if I just haven’t found the right poetry yet, if I’m engaging with it wrong, or if poetry just isn’t for me, but man I wish I understood and connected with poetry on the level the rest of y’all seem to it looks nice

#poetry #everyone talks about it so highly #and so many people express themselves through it #and I don’t know if it’s a me thing with a very niche type I haven’t found yet #or if I just need to learn how to read it better #but like. it’s just good at best for me #I see what they’re doing I can analyze themes and such #but it just. doesn’t hit!! #but maybe I’m reading poetry that isn’t right for me #I connected with one stanza of one poem once #and it was in the borderlands #since there was a quote I really connected with #but that’s all there’s ever been #we’re reading poetry in class and people are going on about it #rightfully so! I can tell this is a talented and celebrated and leading poet #but I just. I’m not there #I’m not being consumed #like so many others seem to be #it just doesn’t click #and I wish it did

[katierosefun]

something about horror something about tragedy something about that moment when the characters think they’re safe, they’ve escaped the clutches of the fate planned for them, they’ve escaped the haunted house or something but then they realize that someone is missing or they realize that the ghost is still there, just biding its time for the others to come back, or maybe they turn around just as they’re about to reach the exit, something about horror something about tragedy something about no matter how hard the characters try to escape the thing haunting them, there’s no other way to end the story, the end of the story was decided from the start, she was dead since the beginning and etc

#caroline talks #good night everyone i finished listening to hadestown #am currently listening to the haunting of hill house soundtrack again #me staring into space: ohhhh she’s been dead since the beginning #and just in case #tw death #something something that moment when the family leaves the house #maybe they’ll be safe. maybe they’ll be safe. #but hugh stays behind…..and nellie poor nellie is still dead #something about Orpheus turning around #even though they could have made it. #something about bly manor and jamie saying ‘we’re going to have so many years together’ #something about how u dely the inevitable for as long as you can #Orpheus doesn’t turn around until the escape is literally steps away #anakin doesn’t fall until the war ends with grievous’ death #if u had just taken one more step or waited one more day you could have made it #but you don’t because this is a tragedy; she’s been dead since the beginning #(I’m. OOOOOH boy! THEMES AND NARRATIVES. THEMES AND NARRATIVES.)