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#Just Beyond: Monstrosity
baekuras · 5 months
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After going through almost everything of Nightmare Time (final stretch y'all) I can't help but stop and imagine every villain/asshole/just sleazebag(hi Ted) Joey has played if not overall at least in the Hatchetfield-verse and just forever know There is Ezekiel
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indigobackfire · 19 days
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I think I've tried to emulate hphm around eight or nine times with three different emulators, asked for ideal settings to try bluestacks for the third or fourth time, so no one can accuse me of not trying enough, and all those times it failed or it opened into an unplayable lagging mess, I think at this point the universe is telling me something
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aibari · 2 years
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maybe it’s because i’ve spent a lot of time feeling monstrous and guilty over empty air but WO W I LOVE MONSTER STORIES.......
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fragmentedblade · 25 days
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It's as if they're saying... "Why... why did you and Imbibitor Lunae commit such an unforgivable sin?"
I know that you have no interest in my answer.
...which is why I asked the question as you looked me straight in the eye. I've asked myself that same question infinite times... but was never able to find the answer...
Why... why is it that only the abominations can return time and time again...?
Why does someone like her have to be buried, burned to ash, and eventually forgotten...? Why!?
This play on questions that await no answer, yet are in their way a response to what was asked, is so good
#The way they manauver around silences and how they don't say straight away what they mean and meant and felt and thought#yet know and understand even in their not sharing the other's position#I love how it works with Jin.gliu's understanding of Blade seeking B.ailu but not taking her medication‚#hoping for a different kind of treatment‚ just as she had#They stood in opposite sides of a board‚ with totally contrary opinions on the same matter‚ yet ended on the other side of each other#So similar both in stories‚ influences‚ relations and personality in some ways. So similar in movements in the end#So similar in drive to live beyond their death at the end of it all. Unable to let go and move on#Holding on to grudges and hatred and their sword if only to keep the pain and the memory alive if it's all that rests#I love them so much#I talk too much#Traces#Fragments and scraps#Why did you do it? Why is it that only monstrosities come back? Why did you do it? Why does she stay dead while my flesh restores itself?#Why did you do it? But seeing Bail.u is the best medicine she could have hoped for. And he did it‚ but is full of regrets#The absolute reproach and yet the mutual understanding is so good. It feels so natural and coherent. So human#I truly love them and their dynamic a lot#Also‚ obsessed with the fact that Blade says she stabbed him through his heart in the final blow‚ and how the image reflects it#'In the end‚ you stabbed me through the heart and left me and the sword in that withered grave'#'最后‚ 你刺出穿心一击‚ 把我和剑一起留在了那片枯冢'#I can't tell just how moved this whole quest makes me and how satisfactory it was to me haha#The Gongshu reference makes me want to scream every time#The weight of 'you left me and the sword' with how Blade and that sword are linked in life and death and change of being and name#Avfkabfkkd I couldn't love him more
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felixfathom · 28 days
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i hate people so much jesus christ i think i'm serious about this 😭
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antikosm · 3 months
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Aro/Ace Terms Masterlist
Please let me know if I forgot anything
NOTE: There is a distinct difference between someone's personal orientation versus how they feel about sexuality/romanticism as a whole. Someone who's sex/romance repulsed may be in favour of open sexual/romantic expression or even vice versa (shoutout to @sowearecleariamhere for informing me of this!)
Types of attraction
Sexual - I wanna have sex with that
Romantic - I want to date that
Sensual - I want to hug that
Platonic - I want to be friends with that
Platonic crushes do exist. They are called “squishes”. You go through the same process of having a romantic or sexual crush but instead of landing them in bed, you’re on the floor at 2am with pizza rolls, Shrek in the background, talking about eldritch monstrosities (or whatever your shared interest is)
Aesthetic - that looks so heckin’ cool/pretty I love it
Intellectual - the desire to engage with another in an intellectual manner, i.e. having a conversation, picking their brain, and finding out how they think
Terms describing degree of attraction
Aromantic - lack of romantic attraction
Asexual - lack of sexual attraction
Aplatonic - lack of platonic attraction
Aroace - lack of both sexual and romantic attraction
Demi - attraction only forms once a strong emotional bond has been formed
Grey/gray - rarely/seldom experiences attraction
Allosexual - someone who experiences sexual attraction
I think I’ve also heard/seen it referred to as ‘arosexual’ but that’s honestly a bit confusing
Alloromantic - someone who experiences romantic attraction
I personally shorten both of those to “allo” (pronounced ‘aloe’)
Apothiosexual - sex-repulsed
Apothioromantic - romance-repulsed
Apothiaroace - often shortened to just ‘apothi’. In addition to being aroace, apothis are repulsed by romantic/sexual scenes, items, displays, etc. to varying degrees
Sex-neutral and sex-positive/favourable aces exist as well
Not all of us have the same level of comfort with sexual and romantic activities so please check. I mean that applies to everyone anyway, but please check and don’t assume that just because someone is aro/ace, that doesn’t mean they are sex/romance repulsed
Queerplatonic - Queerplatonic typically refers to a relationship that bends the lines between a romantic relationship and a non-romantic relationship. A queerplatonic relationship (QPR) often goes beyond what is socially acceptable for a platonic relationship but does not fit the typical notion of a romantic relationship.
Alterous attraction - a type of emotional attraction to someone that isn’t entirely romantic or platonic.
Chastity - actively refraining from sexual activities. This is NOT part of the ace/aro spectrum, though it is a common assumption when someone says they are ace/aro. Thankfully we’re getting a bit more representation in media now so it’s not as common of an assumption as it used to be, but it’s still there, especially in those communities.
An absolute FANTASTIC addition by @heyftinally in case anyone doesn't see the repost
Gonna expand on sex favorable/neutral/repulsed, since this is a masterlist after all: - Sex favorable - regardless of your sexual orientation, you personally want to engage in sexual activity with someone (significant other, one night stand, friends with benefits, etc) - Sex neutral - if you're with someone who wants to engage in sexual activities then you may or may not, depending on a variety of factors, but you have no strong inclinations for or against engaging in sex itself as an activity. Basically it's "alright" Sex repulsed/averse - the idea of personally engaging in sexual activities makes you want to hurl/cry/claw your skin off/spontaneously combust. If someone suggested doing sexual activities together, you would probably vehemently say "No!" before they even finished the question. You would rather do anything else - Sex positive - refers to your attitudes about sex in general. Regardless of where you fall in the above three terms, you recognize that other people want to, and should have the freedom and right to, engage in consensual sexual activities, even if you personally don't like or want those activities. Essentially shorthand for "I respect the right of other adults to have gay sex, have gender-weird sex, have sex with multiple people in and out of monogamous relationships/marriages, and have weird, wild, freaky kinky sex, so long as all participants and consenting adults". You can still personally want zero sex for yourself or think a particular kink is weird/ick, but you can, in tumblr speak, be normal about consenting adults doing consenting adult stuff - Sex negative - conservative purity culture, basically. You think nobody should have sex ever, or at least not until marriage, and when they do it should only be the "right" or "good" kind, as arbitrarily decided by you/society/some collective. You think badly of, look down on, and may even treat badly anyone who doesn't have the "right" kind of sex in your opinion. You are not normal about consenting adults doing consenting adult activities (even though they don't involve you in any way)
A wonderful addition from @overlord-of-chaos Sex aversion is not the same thing as sex repulsed.
If you are sex adverse, you personally have no desire to partake in any of those actions but seeing or knowing other people partake in that doesn't bother you.
Sex repulsion is when you can't stand doing it yourself, seeing/hearing about/knowing that others partake in it, or even just the idea of it.
Microlabels/Terms describing flavour of attraction
Note: -sexual is used for many of these so we don't have to deal with duplicates confusing things. All of these prefixes can be used with -romantic, -sexual, -platonic, and I imagine -alterous as well
Abrosexual - orientation fluctuates between a variety of orientations
Aceflux - similar to abrosexual, but orientation is contained to asexual spectrum
Acespike - someone who is asexual but may experience intense, brief, and random bouts of sexual attraction
Aegosexual - disconnect between oneself and the target of arousal
Amicusromantic/sexual - only experiences romantic attraction to those who they have formed a platonic relationship with (subset of demi)
Angled aroace - the same as oriented, but for those who are demi, grey, flux, etc.
Anthrosexual - someone who is attracted to humans and alterhumans regardless of gender identity/expression
Bellussexual - has interest in the aesthetic/aspects/certain sexual actions, but does not experience sexual attraction or want a sexual relationship
Caedsexual - previously allo, but now ace due to past trauma
Cupiosexual - wanting a sexual relationship but not experiencing sexual attraction
Finsexual/gynesexual - attraction to femininity
Fraysexual - opposite of demi. Attraction dissipates once an emotional connection has been formed
Linsexual - attraction to androgyny
Lithosexual - experiencing sexual attraction but not wanting it to be reciprocated
Loveless Romantic/Lovelessromantic - those who cannot feel love or feel disconnected from love but can feel romantic attraction/don't feel disconnected from the concept of romance
Minsexual/androsexual - attraction to masculinity
Orchid - the opposite of cupio; experiences ____ attraction but has no desire for a relationship of that type
Placiosexual - not wanting to be on the receiving end of sexual activities but wishing to perform them on others
Quiosexual - unable to distinguish between sexual attraction and other forms of attraction
Qui(r)oromantic - inability to distinguish between platonic and romantic attraction
Reciprosexual - not experiencing sexual attraction towards someone until you discover they experience sexual attraction towards you
Requiessexual - similar to caedsexual, but rather than trauma, ace identity originates from a state of emotional exhaustion, usually from a past sexual experience
Oriented aroace -  an aromantic asexual (aroace) individual who experiences a form of tertiary attraction, that they feel is significant enough to warrant a place alongside their aroace orientation. (i.e. gay aroace, bi aroace)
Angled aroace - someone who is on the aroace spectrum (grey, demi, fray, etc) who experiences a type of attraction significant enough to stand alongside their aroace orientation
Examples of mixed orientations
Heteroromantic asexual biplatonic
Poly greyromantic pansexual
Apothi abroplatonic
Placiosexual aromantic finplatonic
Aroace cupioplatonic
Pan lithioromantic
Fraysexual biromantic aplatonic
You can get WAY more specific than what these cover, but just to give a general idea
Amatonormativity
Amatonormativity is the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance, especially by means of a monogamous long-term relationship. The term was coined by Elizabeth Brake, in her book Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law (2011).
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cosmicjoke · 5 months
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Also, just want to point this out.
The original controversy surrounding Reiner and Jean, etc... showing gratitude toward Eren, and people interpreting that as an endorsement of Eren's actions by Isayama, I think the anime went a long way to making sure that wouldn't happen again, by making it clear that Eren is only able to confess the true motivation behind his actions to Armin. I don't think Eren confessed his true motivation to anyone else. He only told Armin, because he knew Armin was the only one who would understand, because he knew, subconsciously probably, that Armin wouldn't condemn him for it. And Armin doesn't. He condemns Eren's actions, but he doesn't condemn Eren himself. Instead he shoulders the blame with Eren and condemns himself in his place. It's made clear that he isn't thanking Eren for killing anybody. He thanks Eren for showing him the world outside the walls. For giving him the means to see that world. But he lets Eren know that what he's done is beyond forgiveness, and he shoulders that blame with him out of love and friendship, as a means of comforting his best friend. And he protects Eren's memory by keeping that secret. By keeping the secret of why Eren really did it. It reminds me of how Levi protected Erwin's memory by keeping his secret too, of never revealing to anybody the true reasons behind his actions. He lets everyone else believe he did it for them. But Armin's always understood and accepted monstrosity, even in himself. He loved Eren to the very end, even when he knew he couldn't be saved. That's beautiful, and heartbreaking.
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the-modern-typewriter · 5 months
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hey I'm so sorry if this is is an unwanted request, but I wanted to ask for a hero x villain story where the villain kidnaps? And tattoos the hero. I think it would be very fun and dramatic. A very permanent and painful reminder.
I really love your work, I've read pieces of your writing for years. Keep doing what you're doing <3
"Hold still, or it's going to be wobbly," the villain said. "Nobody wants a wobbly tattoo, do they? That's just lame."
The hero snarled at them, wordless, unable to do much more with the bit wedged in their mouth. It was, according to the villain, to stop the hero from biting through their own tongue. So, that was nice and reassuring.
They could struggle, but not enough to stop what was going to happen. The grip the villain's various lackeys had on them was too firm and unforgiving. Still - the presence of hands, instead of cold metal, tried to trick some part of their lizard brain into thinking they had a real chance of escape if they just tried hard enough.
They didn't. They knew they didn't. But they struggled all the same, eyes flashing, breath ragged. They'd been forced onto their back on something that looked a little like a dentist's chair, head pinned sideways to face the villain. They only had vague impressions of the rest of the room. Bright light.
The villain had pulled up a chair next to them with their kit.
"So," the villain said, in an affable sort of voice. "It's going to hurt a little, like we talked about. That's mainly because of the location." They began their work, carefully, and the hero squeezed their eyes shut. A whimper escaped them. It was not a little. "Ribs don't have a lot of fat, you see, and you're quite sensitive anyway. But you said that's where you'd get one, so, far be it from me to dictate."
The hero had said hypothetically they would get a tattoo on their ribs. Because it looked cool. They hadn't done any research and they certainly hadn't been serious about it. It had merely been idle conversation with someone they'd thought was their friend.
They'd also said that they would get a jellyfish, or maybe a small bird.
The hero tried to see what the hell the villain was doing, but they couldn't get a good look beyond the distressingly elegant curve of the villain's head.
"I figured you'd want to be conscious, though." The villain laughed, softly. "I wouldn't want to wake up and find out someone had just done something to me, you know? Makes it hard to process it. Freaky."
The hero swore at them. They liked to think the sentiment got through, even if it was just raw sound. Choked.
"You'll look so gorgeous when you're done, though," the villain said. "Don't worry. I'm a professional. I've done this loads of times before."
The hero knew that. That was the problem.
The villain's super-abilities were unusual enough that it had taken the hero far too long to realise that the villain had any, and that they were in fact a monstrosity rather than simply the sexy artist that the hero had met in a bar. Whatever the villain painted, wrote, inked or drew was woven through with their power. It could come alive. It could influence. It could harm or heal that specific area at the villain's whim.
It could, in short, do all manner of things that the hero did not want permanently etched into their skin.
Everyone close to the villain had a tattoo. It didn't bode well.
"Just breathe," the villain said. "You're doing so well. It will be easier on you if you relax."
The hero swore at them again. It didn't make them feel better.
The villain worked on them for what felt like hours. If it was a jellyfish, it was a truly massive jellyfish that curved all the way up their side. The hero still hadn't got a good look. At some point, they'd stopped writhing in the chair, exhausted.
They felt dazed when the villain finally lifted their head, meeting their eyes again. The villain brushed a tear away from the hero's cheek. It reminded the hero to jolt again, but the hands on them remained as relentless as ever.
Another small, involuntary sound left them.
Their skin felt hot. Sunburnt.
"All done," the villain said. They finally eased the bit out of the hero's mouth. "You should have some water. Are you going to drink it nicely?"
"What the hell did you do to me?" the hero demanded. Their voice was raspy.
"It's gorgeous. You'll love it. Water?"
"I don't want anything from you!"
"Good skin is important to good tattoos. But, hey." The villain shrugged. "I can't make you." They gestured for their lackeys to release the hero.
The hero surged up in an instant, fist already flying towards the villain's face. In an instant, their body froze, knuckles inches from the villain's face. It didn't matter how much they strained. They couldn't move.
The villain raised an eyebrow. "You'll want to make sure to keep it clean, to avoid any infection," the villain said. "And don't pick at it, okay? Stay out of the sun. No swimming."
"What did you do to me!?" It came out through gritted teeth.
The villain smirked at them. "I gave you a jellyfish. On the house. You're welcome."
The hero glared.
"That's what you wanted, right?" the villain asked.
"I didn't want this."
The villain shrugged. "I did, though. For the moment I saw you with your clothes off"
"You-" Words didn't feel enough to express the emotion that coursed through the hero at that. "I hate you."
"Yes, I get that quite a lot. I don't generally let it bother me. You do all look so pretty fuming, helpless, at my mercy."
The hero swallowed.
The villain waved a hand, and whatever strange paralysis had overtaken the hero, vanished. They staggered forward, nearly pitching into the villain's lap. The villain caught them to steady them, hands on their waist.
It should have been excruciating, to have the villain's hand on the tattoo, but instead there was a buzz of pleasure across the hero's skin that definitely wasn't normal. They wrenched back as quickly as possible, heart pounding.
Their fists curled, itching with the urge the punch again, but they didn't quite dare get close.
The villain beamed at them, eyes glittering with mirth, apparently knowing exactly what the hero was thinking.
"Now," they said. "Do you want a lift home? Or do you prefer to take a moment to recover here?"
"You're sick."
"I'm up and coming, darling. One day you'll thank me for it."
The hero peeled the bandage off the moment they were at home, alone, to try and get a good look at their new acquisition.
It was a jellyfish, just as the villain had said, inked in full colour and in exquisite detail and artistry. It seeped blue and purple into the hero's skin, with the smallest tinges of shimmering pink. The villain's initials were weaved into the jellyfish's umbrella, subtle to someone not looking for them. Small but there.
The hero didn't remember hitting the bathroom floor, only the dull feeling of their knees giving way beneath them as it all well and truly sunk in.
They could feel it against them. It was almost as if the tentacles were moving, gently, caressing their ribs. As if the villain's fingers were there, a ghost of a blazing touch.
They got a horrific amount of compliments about the damn thing.
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getodrools · 14 days
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warnings. yan! true form sukuna, implied non/dub con: ( forced marriage and pregnancy ), kidnapping.
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All of them looked at you.
You recognized those faces. And you tried to hide from them behind the mighty stature built of an abundance of muscles and cursed energy…
But, all of those familiar faces contorted differently, some not knowing how to react; some gaped wide as others felt pity when you were shoved in front of the king by those large hands you grew to loathe.
That cruel and selfish thing held a wide wry smirk as your body — so frail, yet heavy with a large bump wobbled embarrassingly and tired ahead… You couldn't bear to lift your crown to confront them, too mortified. Yet, they couldn't see that attempt, you only looked too weak to try in their eyes…
You felt it in your heart, deep down they had a sense — they knew what was going to happen soon as he left with you.
As much as they forever wished for your safety and honored your valor of vengeance, carrying on your name as the savior when Sukuna swore he'd seize havoc if he got what he wanted — to marry you and earn an heir, he'd settle with leaving all merciful. Leaving behind the chaos he caused and settling far from their territory with the only promise of you.
You remember that very doomsday when he held you with two bloodstained arms — blood of your own comrades who fought with all their might… weak legs dangling in the smokey air as flames erupted from buildings and screams begrudged through the entire city, you remember scraping at the tough skin, seemingly unbreakable, but in hopes he'd release you, you tried unduly before you could end up with no head… But fighting with the last of your might, you swear to this day you could still feel that very cruel squeeze to your sides as he stalked the others with ease, cursing a promise out you had never expected to hear, truthfully.
Almost all warfare seized. They all looked just as disgusted as they do now, just how they were watching the way you shivered when Sukuna’s leather-like tongue lapped over your neck to the whole side of your face as he panted out those very words you toss and turn from every night,
“Take too long to give an answer, I’ll kill another. Or, I will set ablaze to everyone if you don't.”
There was no winning.
Leaving with you far beyond the horizon and years to come, the people you once called family and friends were never to be seen again.
Sukuna wasn't as surprised as they were once they found his concealed empire plagued with cursed energy. He didn't even care, he already got what he wanted and they couldn't do a single thing about it. They knew that very well too.
Especially seeing how you lived now.
They tried to prepare themselves though, knowing his ruthless acts were to be brought upon you once you agreed — you didn't need to, but for the sake of countless lives and for the ones you cherished, you sacrificed yourself, a single life, to him without thought, and now you harbor a dreadful wedlock and bear a child.
Yuji’s face was the worst. He felt disgust and outrage – you poor thing. He couldn't imagine what you've gone through, especially now as you carried a half-being inside of you. Something mixed with the King of curses genes brewing into something undoubtedly revolting, something he couldn't conjecture how you had to submit to such monstrosity to get this far…
Megumi steps back, “Y/n…” You flinch. You haven't heard your name in years, only the title of being Sukuna’s wife dug a deep scar into the tissue of your brain.
Even the other members flinch.
But now, they had their eyes on you for long enough and Sukuna grabs your shoulder to reer you behind him again, right where you belonged.
“Interesting seeing you all.” The king stood tall; a pair of strong arms crossed over his chest as the others waved around smugly.
They knew his strength and didn't want to erase all the disarray you've went through to save them once, so they stepped back, cursing themselves as they did. Crossing boundaries they never thought they'd see, Sukuna knew it would be idiotic for them to waste your life if they dared to overstep it.
They couldn't do that to you.
Waving them off, “She's expected soon,” Ryōmen smacks his lips, keeping his chin up high and all eyes low as if he wasn't already towering over them, “Once that's out, she’ll be busy on the next – as promised.” You shiver, huddling behind the only thing you grew to get used to — so to speak, forced to.
Clinging to his side, you barely peek through his arms to catch their faces once again, but oh, how much you've missed them… Too repentant, weary eyes only tremble at the floor they creaked on, and the further they got, the longing to run alongside them and to be free worsened…
You squeeze your belly.
Shoving your ridden face into his naked back as your husband continued threatening them with your life, you remind yourself this was worth saving them… even if…
… You still needed to give him five more.
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PINNED ・ JJK MASTERLIST ・ RYŌMEN SUKUNA
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zhonglism · 23 days
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18+ MDNI; 4.2 archon quest spoilers (for those who haven’t finished it. nothing too detailed but a major spoiler, nonetheless), slightly possessive neuvi, unprotected semi-public s*x (in neuvillette’s office), handjob (brief mention), riding, neuvi has two c*cks. divider: cafekitsune
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── it was scandalous, utterly improper, and impure, the list could go on and on to describe what was happening behind the unlocked doors of the iudex’s grandeur office; it held an outstanding reputation, housing the most respected man in fontaine but right this moment, it was nothing more than a mere space to fulfil both of your sordid fantasies. risqué behaviour that would absolutely tarnish neuvillette’s esteemed reputation. he could already see the front page of steambird’s papers adorned with a controversial ebony-inked title that’d make serious waves throughout the nation of hydro, flowing from conversation to conversation of each fontanian.
oh but the thing was, at this very moment, iudex neuvillette could not care less, even with his high honour on the line. to think of someone walking in on you two passionately enjoying one another was exhilarating; especially when you’re straddling him this good; one cock hugged oh-so-tightly and invitingly by your sopping cunt while the other being wickedly taken care of with your trembling hands—thumb focusing on rubbing the sensitive slit of his tip. it was ironic how the expanse of neuvillette’s office didn’t seem enough for this sinful act, it was suffocating and stuffy but maybe it was all because of the fine azure fabric he donned every day; layers and layers of fine cerulean textiles that hid the very monstrosity between his legs.
“n-neuvi—ah! this is inappropriate. . ungodly.” you panted into the crook of his neck, his intoxicating scent only driving you further down the line of insanity as it engulfed your senses. neuvillette wanted to laugh but all he could muster were heated moans and occasional grunts. “mon trésor, i’m quite taken back by your choice of words.” he let out a soft sigh, the gloved grasp on your waist mirroring the tightening grip of your walls around his cock.
ungodly? of course it was.
neuvillette was certainly no god after all, he was more than that of a lowly usurper that answered to the divinity beyond the clouds. to use such a word to describe the intimate act between the two of you as if it was sinful stirred the depths of his mind—a draconic trait he had neatly tucked away, one that was a tad too dangerous to just let loose. possessiveness. to think of mentioning the gods with his length sheathed all the way inside you flipped his switch. you shouldn’t even be thinking of the gods, especially in a godless nation like the land of justice.
offering a response would have been a sensible option if it weren’t for the sudden shift in aura inside the chief justice’s office, a ripple of unmatched power pressing on your sweat-covered skin. earlier, neuvillette gave you the liberty of riding his cock however you wanted but now the bounce of your hips were forcibly halted with a singular arm around your waist. neuvillette’s free hand dug itself amongst your hair, tugging at the roots to assert a wordless power.
with your hips stilled and body flushed against his own, you braced yourself from the merciless ramming of his hips. heated moans that once filled the office now silenced with a passionate, rough kiss—wet lips chasing one another, biting, and sucking. the change in your lover’s pace caused you to tighten your grip around his other cock, earning a fervent moan from neuvillette to slip in between the messy make out. neuvillette may solely be associated to the nation of many waters but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be as burning and fervid like the land of pyro—a blazing flame inside him that could only be fuelled by you.
the chair beneath the iudex groaned and screeched with each sinful thrust, driving his cock deeper and deeper into your slicked walls until you felt him in your stomach—unable to sufficiently pleasure the other cock in your grasp as your body bounced and jolted with his hips. neuvillette kept his lips on your own, making the room spin a little from the lack of oxygen; kissing and nipping at your swollen lips with such desire, even going as far as shoving his tongue past them.
with each passing second and his unfaltering pace, stars slowly crept into your vision, muscles tightening, and toes curling at your impending orgasm. as if on cue, neuvillette pulled his lips away, hand that was once tangled in your hair now resting on your nape, “look at me. .” he panted, his lustful lilac gaze tracing over your cock-drunk face. “look at me while you indulge yourself in immeasurable pleasure, ma belle. . s’ naughty for me, my little temptress, aren’t you?”
neuvillette loved watching the way your face contorted in pleasure while you come around his cock—eyes rolled back, and lips parted to let out such naughty noises; the way your body shivered with sensitivity as intense pleasure kissed down your spine, it was enough for him to come as well. an ardent moan of your name echoed throughout the walls of his office as neuvillette generously emptied himself into you.
scandalous and improper it may be for the iudex to fuck you in his sacred office—where all court files were stored away—he could never deny his lover.
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probablybadrpgideas · 8 months
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Should you hug this monster?
Aberrations: Aberrations don't know what hugs are, so naturally, you should show them. Teach them hugs and they can teach you about squibbleblappening! Being squibbleblappened isn't as great if you lack tentacles but to be fair hugging loses a lot without skin.
Beasts: Absolutely hug the beasts. All animals are cuddleable without exception. I, mod pencil, fully endorse this advice and take full legal responsibility for any consequences of people acting on it.
Celestials: A good way to distinguish if you're a good person is to hug a celestial. If you are a good person, you will get a literally heavenly hug. If you are a bad one, you will be instantly obliterated with divine fire and sent to hell. It's a refreshing burst of simplicity in an often complex world.
Constructs: All constructs will attempt to hug you if you ask them to but in 90% of cases this is not a survivable experience. Maybe try being made of a less crushable material if you want to hug a construct?
Dragons: I mean you're not really the one deciding on hugs here. You're the cute harmless little animal in this is scenario, so the dragon is going to hug you. It may also put you in a funny outfit and upload the photos on Instagram. Sorry about this.
Elemental: Roll a d4 for nothing, moist, inert or dead. So about normal for hugging someone.
Fey: Hug a fey but only on a harvest moon in a space between nature and civilization while wearing your socks inside out and making sure to say nothing that could be interpreted as a promise or a question and be sure to bow afterwards and dance widdershins back home.
Fiend: Neutral evil fiends are the best to hug. Like, they'll steal your wallet and organs, but compared to being eaten or bound to eternal servitude, it's a pretty nice hug.
Giants: Some slight mechanical difficulties here but beyond that, you should be good. Ask the giant to aim you at the shops afterwards and get your groceries done at the same time.
Humanoids: Hug a humanoid? Gross!
Monstrosity: Monstrosities are good to hug but they won't let you hug them because you called them a monstrosity. That's really rude :(
Ooze: Under no circumstannnnnnnn PutT ArMs In M Oose nOw pls Is GoOd anD TasTy
Plant: God if only there was a term for this
Undead: Really it's just like hugging a normal person if hugs killed you. If it helps, at least you have good reason to think death might a glow up?
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youunravelme · 9 months
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the worst wing-woman
author's note: just like all my other fics, we are existing in an alternate plane where tito was never traded. also i've never worked for the nhl, so i have no idea how accurate being a photographer is but guess what. idgaf. also sorry for the amount of italics in this fic, i have no self control apparently. and shoutout to my new friend @dani746 for helping me with this monstrosity.
summary: you've been in love with mat barzal for as long as you can remember, so what do you do when he asks for your help to win over your friend?
pairing: mat barzal x islanders photographer!reader
warnings: cursing and low self esteem
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despite working for the isles for two years now, you still got nervous walking into work.
you weren't a stranger to the team, some of them you knew quite well. anders and marty being two players you were friendly with (mainly due to the fact that you were somewhat friendly with their wives). but there was always one player who eluded you, who you'd only ever had professional interactions with.
mathew barzal.
and it shouldn't be surprising, you were a measly photographer whereas he was the star player of his team, the winner of the calder trophy, an nhl heartthrob. why should he pay attention to you?
media day was one of your favorite days, mainly because it was the closest you ever got to holding full conversations with him. not that the conversations went anything beyond "look right here" or "great job, mat."
you didn't even think he knew your name.
the longest conversation you had with him consisted of him asking to see the photos you took and patting you on your back when he liked what he saw before he went off to talk to tito.
"you having a good day?" you nearly jumped a foot in the air when your staring was cut off by anders walking up to you.
"yeah," you said when your heartbeat returned to normal. "just busy is all." you held your camera up as if that was enough of an explanation.
anders nodded. "any of the boys giving you a hard time?"
you shook your head rapidly. "nope, they've all been on their best behavior."
"even barzy and beauvillier?" at the mention of their names, the duo turned their heads and locked eyes with you and anders.
you wanted to dig a hole and die in it.
"what about us?" mat asked, sauntering over with his best friend right behind him.
"you haven't been giving her a hard time, have you?" anders crossed his arms. and if you weren't panicking at the closing distance between you and mat, you might've noticed the shared smirk between the three hockey players in front of you.
"us?" tito asked. "why would you think that? we've only ever been angels."
before anders could ask you to corroborate tito's story, your name was called. you awkwardly waved to the three men before walking over to another set of props, ready to photograph another hockey player.
"done embarrassing yourself?" your coworker tyler asked.
you lightly shoved his shoulder. "shut up."
"seriously, you're not his type," he added. "he's not gonna go for you."
tyler might as well have stabbed you in the gut with how much his words hurt you, but you put a smile on and nodded. "yeah, i know. i know."
and you did.
you knew.
but you'd be delusional for a little while longer if it meant going to work wouldn't suck every day.
later that night, you found yourself at a bar with a group of your friends. you didn't want to go originally, but when alexa said she needed to go out to get over her ex, you felt like you had no other choice.
which is how you found yourself sipping a soda water in a booth while your friends danced and took body shots.
your gaze wandered around the bar aimlessly before you checked your phone for the time.
you'd only been there for an hour.
it took all self restraint not to bang your head against the table.
"having fun?" your head snapped up at the familiar voice only to see anthony beauvillier standing at the edge of your booth with a self satisfied smirk.
"i--"
"i didn't take you as one to go out drinking on a weeknight," he said.
you slumped into your seat. "i'm not. my friend alexa wanted to go out because her boyfriend just dumped her and she wanted a distraction."
anthony took the seat opposite of you. "and that is...?" he gestured at your drink.
"soda water," you answered. "i'm the DD for tonight."
"oof," he groaned before taking a sip of his beer. "that's rough."
you shrugged. "it's not that bad, i'd rather my friends get home safe than get drunk and show up to work hungover."
anthony nodded in a way that you'd seen other men do, the type of nod that comes right before someone looks around for someone more interesting to talk to.
"but what about you?" you rushed out, nearly tripping over your own words.
tito smiled. "what about me?"
"why're you here?"
he shrugged. "mat wanted to come out and didn't want to go out alone, so here i am."
mat.
you wanted to vomit.
"oh," you mumbled. "mat's here?"
tito nodded and gestured with his bottle to the bar. "he's over there talking to some brunette."
you followed with your eyes and when you finally locked eyes on him, you wished you hadn't.
he was talking to alexa, smiling at her the way you wished he'd smile at you.
maybe you could leave the bar and get hit by a taxi on the way out, that would be less painful than seeing the man you're in love with flirt with your friend.
"you okay?" anthony asked, nudging your leg with his foot.
you turned your gaze back to him and attempted to give him your most convincing smile. "i'm great!" you said before throwing your soda water back and coughing when the carbonation burned.
anthony didn't say a word.
when you looked back at the bar, alexa was nowhere to be found while mat was fiddling with one of his wristbands. you looked around to find alexa, thinking maybe she was in the crowd dancing or perhaps she was in line for the bathroom.
but she popped up at your table, sweaty and smiling.
"you good?" she asked before fixing her eyes on anthony who was sipping on his beer. "who's this?"
"anthony. i know him from work." tito gave her a small wave before taking another sip of his beer.
"alexa," she smiled before her attention focused back on you. "i actually met one of your coworkers, mat right?"
you forced a smile and nodded. "the one and only. what did you think?" though, to be fair, you didn't really want to know her opinion on him. not when you thought the world of him.
alexa shrugged and tossed her perfect hair over her perfect shoulder and gave a perfect smile that was a healthy balance of nonchalant and mildly interested. "he was alright, he knows he's attractive which is rather unattractive if you ask me."
tito choked on his beer while you stared in awe.
of all the words you'd use to describe mat, "alright" was not even close to the top 25.
"something funny?" alexa asked.
"nope," tito supplied, shaking his head. "nothing at all."
alexa looked at him, unconvinced, but didn't let it bother her. "i'm gonna go dance, you coming?" she asked.
you shook your head. "not really my scene."
alexa nodded and pranced off to the dance floor where the rest of your friends were grinding on strangers to the tune of some 2000s pop song.
"she's a delight," tito said.
you sighed. "she's practically miss america." you were too busy staring at her having fun to notice another person walk up to your booth until he was standing right in front of you with a question posed on the tip of his lips.
mat.
your mouth went dry at the sight of him.
"you know her?" he gestured over his shoulder to where alexa was laughing with one of your friends.
you nodded.
"are you two close?"
you shrugged.
mat sighed. "are you capable of speaking?"
tito spoke up. "mat, you just bombarded her without a single hello, chill."
mat pinched the bridge of his nose. "sorry, i just--she rejected me and i don't know why."
"you're too attractive and you know it," you blurted out before you could stop yourself. you quickly slapped a hand over your mouth like that would stop any other bullshit that might come out.
mat tilted his head and leaned in. "huh?"
"her words, not mine," you said like it would absolve you of any guilt.
"what do you mean by being 'too attractive' and 'knowing it'? how does that even make sense?"
you shrugged for what felt like the twelfth time that night. "alexa's not really into guys who are obsessed with their appearances. she just got out of a relationship with a guy like that," you explained.
mat ran a hand down his face before placing both hands on his waist. "so what do you suggest i do?" he groaned.
"i--"
he snapped his fingers and looked at you for what felt like the first time. it sent a chill down your spine that you had a problem suppressing. "can you help me?"
your mouth dropped open. "huh?"
"you're friends, right? can you help me win her over?"
you could list about a thousand other things you'd rather do. you could think of five just off the top of your head.
but he looked so earnest and willing and how could anyone possibly resist him when he looked at you like that--
"of course!" you smiled.
of course?! yes would've sufficed but now you've got him thinking you'd enjoy this. which you most certainly wouldn't.
oh who were you kidding? all attention was good attention when it came to mat barzal and you'd give anything to keep him looking at you.
"thank you!" he smiled before clapping tito on the shoulder. "ready to head out?"
anthony nodded before addressing you. "i had a nice time. see you tomorrow?"
you smiled and nodded, giving them both a small wave as they walked away. the second they were out the door, you thumped your head against the table.
playing wing-woman for mathew barzal.
what the fuck was wrong with you?
how to be a wing-woman: a guide
usually when you went to work, you kept your head down and stayed out of the way. occasionally, you'd run into anders or marty, or maybe even tito, who would say their polite hellos, but for the most part you stayed out of the way during practices.
you were looking at the photos you just took when someone banged on the glass. a quick glance (that turned into a double take) let you figure out it was mat based on the 13 on his jersey and the fact that you could pick him out of a crowd anywhere.
he waved and smiled (and you might've died inside). "can i talk to you after practice?"
you nodded frantically before gaining a semblance of self respect and slowing down.
"great! meet you outside of the locker rooms!" he said before skating away.
"what was that about?" tyler asked. you turned, not even realizing he'd made his way towards you considering you thought he was on the other side of the arena.
"what? can't i talk to the players?"
tyler laughed. actually laughed. "considering barzal has never so much as looked at you, i'd say him approaching you during practice is pretty strange."
your shoulders sunk at the weight of the truth. "if you must know," you started. "he wants to date one of my friends, so i'm helping him out."
tyler laughed again and walked away without saying another word while you scrolled through the photos you took again until practice ended.
you headed towards the locker rooms only when the last player had been off the ice for ten minutes, you didn't want to chance waiting around too long looking like an idiot.
as you waited, you made a mental note of all the editing you'd have to do when you got back to your cubicle. you got a few good shots earlier, but they'd need some tweaking before you sent them to the social media team. in fact--
"hey, what're you doing here?" you glanced up and saw anders, hair wet from whatever brief shower he took.
you shrugged, not sure if it was your place to give away mat's intentions. "just waiting around."
"for?" he pushed.
"barzy needs her to play wing-woman," tito said from over anders' shoulders. "he wants to get with her friend, but her friend isn't interested."
anders threw his head back and laughed. "barzy not getting a girl? that's fucking hilarious."
tito smirked. "tell him what your friend said" he told you.
"she doesn't like that he knows he's attractive," you mumbled.
if it was even possible, anders laughed even louder. "un-fucking-believable."
"what's so funny?" mat walked up, running a hand through his damp hair.
you said "nothing" at the same time anders asked "you got rejected, barzy?"
mat's face dropped before looking at you and tito accusingly. anthony sighed and nudged his best friend. "chill out, barz. she didn't bring it up, i did."
mat's shoulders relaxed before he punched tito in the arm. "dick," he mumbled.
anders looked between the three of you and sighed. "i don't have time for this shit," he said. "i'll see you later." and he was off down the hallway.
"so what's the plan for today?" tito asked.
"you're not included," mat said. his gaze focused on you. "can i have your number?"
you blinked. "what?"
mat laughed a little and you could feel heat and shame running up your spine. he asked you one fucking question and you had to go act like a weirdo. "so i can text you? i think we should sit down and create a strategy."
you nodded and read off your number as he typed it into his phone. "great," he gave you his megawatt smile. "i'll text you."
"okay," you breathed out as he walked away without a thought.
tito kept standing there, smirking to himself. "you're so fucked," he said.
you nodded because there was nothing else to say.
step one: talk him up
you and mat got lunch two days later on a saturday when he didn't have a game. it was rather surreal, sitting across from him in public. the delusional part of you was begging you to imagine this as a date instead of a meeting to set your friend up with mat.
when did your life turn into something so pathetic?
"okay," he started. "tell me about your friend."
you would rather do anything else.
"she just got out of a long term relationship with this guy named jared. he was a bit self absorbed which is probably why she didn't like you knowing how hot you are." you paused as the words left your mouth, ready to set yourself on fire if he reacted. but he didn't, he only leaned in closer to listen. "she uh--she likes daffodils and goes to the farmer's market at union square every saturday."
"but what's she like?" he asked. "what's her personality?"
how would you say she's the trademarked cool girl? the girl every guy wanted, that mat was one man in a long list of men who tried and failed to win her over.
"she's sweet and affectionate," you started. "she pretty girly on the outside but knows her way around a car. she grew up with three older brothers so she knows a fair bit about sports, just not hockey, but if you wanted to talk stats about football or basketball, she's your girl. in college, she held the record for fastest shotgun in her sorority."
you racked your brain for more information about your friend, but it was difficult under pressure to sum up someone you'd known since freshman year of college.
"what else?" mat asked.
"she's a bit of a partier, but knows how to settle down and just chill. she's a really good friend, like last year i dated this guy who was cheating on me the entire duration of our relationship, which i should've known about because he said he had to go on business trips all the time but he worked as a barista, and she held me while i cried for three days straight and even threatened to fuck up his car."
mat stared at you without saying anything in a way that made you want to sink into a hole, never to be seen again. "you dated a barista and thought he needed to go on business trips?"
you blinked. "that's what you got from that? me dating a shitty barista?"
he shrugged. "i heard everything else, but that was definitely the funniest part. how long did you date him?"
"six months," you replied quickly. "but that's not the point! alexa is going to play hard to get because she doesn't want anything too serious right now."
"great! neither do i!"
"but she's not a one night stand kind of girl anymore. so if you want her, you have to prove to her you can be serious enough for a relationship but not serious enough that you get clingy and overbearing and propose within six months."
mat blinked at you. "how the hell does that make sense?"
"believe me, there's a balance."
he sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "and you would know this how?"
"well i uh--" you sputtered. your nerves were only encouraged by his light chuckling. "all girls know these things! we don't want overly possessive boyfriends but we also want someone to care. it shouldn't be that hard to comprehend."
"it's not," he defended. "just a little...complicated, don't you think?"
"alexa's a complicated girl!"
he sighed and ran a hand down his face. "okay so how do i show her i mean business but that i'm not looking to settle down and get married?"
"i guess i could talk you up to her in passing conversation?"
"what would you tell her? we don't know each other very well."
"i know more than you think!"
"please, share with the class."
shit.
do you confess that in the two years you'd worked for the islanders that you watched him borderline obsessively?
"well, i know you're good with kids, if your interactions with young fans is anything to go by. you don't like dogs, which is a bit of a red flag in my book, but alexa shouldn't mind. you're a fantastic hockey player, and a great teammate."
"is that enough to convince her?"
you grimaced and shook your head. "she's a bit more personable. she one time broke up with a guy because he was rude to waitstaff. she would want to know how you treat non millionaires and authority figures. for instance, how much do you tip a server?"
"25%," he replied. "but why does that matter?"
"alexa used to be a server throughout college and couldn't stand people who she knew had money but would cheap out on the tip because she didn't greet them fast enough."
mat opened his mouth, presumably to ask another question, when his phone started ringing. "shit," he mumbled. "listen, i gotta go. it was nice talking to you, i'll be in touch." he pulled out a few twenty dollar bills and put them on the table before getting up and walking away.
you waited for the server to come back before paying the bill and told them to keep the change before you got up and walked home.
when you got back to your apartment, alexa was already standing at the door, waiting to be let in.
"finally," she said. "i was wondering when you were gonna come home."
"you could've texted me," you said while unlocking the door.
she followed you inside and shut the door behind her. "i could've, but your phone was on do not disturb for some reason, so i doubt my texts would've gone through in time. where were you anyway?"
"getting lunch with a friend from work," you replied.
alexa groaned as she all but collapsed onto your couch. "please tell me it's not tyler. i hate how he treats you."
you dropped your bag by the door and headed back to your room, but not before calling over your shoulder. "he's not that bad, he's like that to everyone!"
"doesn't make it any better!"
you changed into some comfortable clothing before joining alexa on your couch. "did you have fun the other night when we went out to the bar?"
alexa looked at you weirdly.
shit. you must not have been as subtle as you thought.
"i did," she said. "but what makes you ask."
you shrugged. "i know it's been rough with your breakup lately, but i saw you talking to mat and you looked happy."
alexa groaned and sunk into the couch. "i thought we talked about this already. he knows he's attractive, it's such a turn off. you should've seen the way he was talking, it was like he knew that if he gave me a look, i'd be going home with him."
"well he's really nice, i promise! you should see him with kids at the stadium--"
"you mean the kids who idolize him? yeah i bet he's real nice to them."
okay, switch strategies.
"he tips waitstaff really well!"
"with what he makes? he better." alexa sighed. "listen, i'd be more impressed if he could tell me anything about you, but seeing as you've worked there for two years and he couldn't tell me anything other than your name the other night says all i need to know about him. so can we talk about something else?"
you nodded, ignoring the jutting pain in your chest at her words. you knew well enough that mat knew nothing about you, why would he? but to hear it come from the mouth of someone else stung.
getting them together was gonna be harder than you originally thought.
step two: get them interacting
you were dreading the next time you saw mat for the first time in your life. you were in your cubicle editing photos from the game that night to be posted tomorrow to distract yourself from the inevitable conversation you'd have to have with him. tyler, unfortunately got the shot that was posted immediately to the islanders' instagram account to celebrate their win over the rangers and he had no problem letting you know it. and while it was annoying, it served as a great distraction from your other problem.
"maybe you'll get it next time," he sneered as he packed his bag. most days you hated the fact that you were cubicle neighbors, but neither of you were powerful enough to request moving spaces. and even if you could, you knew it would just make you look hard to work with.
"have a good night, tyler," you replied, not even wanting to give him any ammo to use against you.
the door shut behind him with a click, locking you into sweet sweet silence.
until a minute later when your phone went off with a text message.
mat barzal: where ru?
mat barzal: wanna go to a bar with me and tito and you can bring alexa?
you scoffed. "you can bring alexa," you mocked under your breath. "like that's not the sole reason for you asking me to go out tonight." you packed your bag up and shot a quick text to alexa, asking if she wanted to go out. she replied with an immediate yes, asking where to meet you, which prompted you to reach out to mat who sent you an address in response.
which is how you ended up on a sidewalk in front of an incredibly busy bar with alexa next to you.
"i've never been here," she remarked. "how'd you hear about it?"
"oh, a coworker mentioned it," you said in what was hopefully a nonchalant manner.
she looked at you a moment too long before grabbing your hand and pulling you inside. "you find us a place to sit and i'll grab our drinks!" she shouted over the music.
you quickly looked around for mat and tito, the former who'd texted you the second they arrived. you saw a head of dark hair and immediately knew it was mat. you hurried over, panting when you arrived from having to shove your way towards them.
"you made it!" anthony said. you looked at him and mat, eyes bouncing back and forth between them, when you realized your first problem.
they were sitting on opposite sides of the booth.
which meant you would have to sit with one of them, and alexa would have to sit with the other. if mat had it his way, he'd sit next to alexa, but you knew your friend wouldn't have that. she'd feel manipulated and uncomfortable.
"is there a problem?" tito asked.
you gestured to the booth. "alexa will want to sit by me. she's still not convinced about you, mat."
mat, to his credit, didn't look shocked or offended, he just shrugged and moved to tito's side. "this work?" he asked as you sat down.
you nodded.
"so what's the plan? how should i approach this?" he asked.
"keep the conversation on her, when she tries to turn it on you or about your career, focus on other people, applaud your teammates, your coaches, but whatever you do, don't talk about yourself too much. she already thinks you have a big ego."
"to be fair," tito started. "he does."
mat didn't even dignify that with a response. "so keep the conversation on her and others, got it."
alexa found you a moment later and didn't do a great job covering up her disinterest in sitting with mat and beau.
"i couldn't find anywhere to sit," you explained.
alexa didn't buy it if her eyes bouncing around the bar to find empty tables said anything. but she sat next to you anyway, placing your drink in front of you.
"you remember mat and anthony from the other night, right?" you asked.
she just hummed and took a sip of her drink.
"so, alexa," mat started. "what do you do for a living?"
she stared at him and sighed. "i'm a vet tech," she said, but offered no other information.
"she especially loves the cats," you added.
"cats are great!" mat said a little too enthusiastically.
alexa drained the rest of her glass and got up, leaving the three of you behind.
the second she was gone, beau broke into laughter, slapping his own chest. "that was fucking hilarious," he said.
"yeah yeah yeah, laugh it up," mat grumbled, swirling his cup around instead of making eye contact with anyone.
"i'm serious, i don't think i've ever seen you fail so quickly. it's kind of amazing."
mat focused his eyes on you. "what did i do wrong? i tried asking about her life and she seemed wholly uninterested."
you shrugged. "i don't know! maybe she feels cornered?"
tito took a sip of his beer. "i think you need to workshop this. clearly, neither of you thought this through."
you groaned and rested your head on the table.
this was already harder than you anticipated.
step three: reevaluate and regroup
you met mat in a booth of a coffee shop after you got off work. he was staring at his phone when you walked in, completely unaware that you even existed.
which wasn't abnormal considering you didn't even think he knew who you were a few months ago. but the second the barista called your order out, his head whipped up.
you could've sworn time stopped at that moment.
you made your way towards him and plopped down in the booth opposite of him.
"hi," you smiled. "what's up?"
"i don't know what to do, she doesn't seem interested in me." he groaned into his hands before running one of them through his hair.
god he was so attractive.
you snapped out of your reverie. "listen, you've got what it takes, we just need to reevaluate our strategy. i think the bar thing was a bad idea, she felt ambushed and it probably set us back a little, but i have an idea."
he leaned his forearms on the table. "let's hear it."
"practice dates," you said.
mat blinked once. twice. a third time before he spoke. "practice dates?"
"okay hear me out," you said, pulling a notepad out of the bag you brought. "i have a list of things that alexa likes to do and i was thinking, you and i can do them and work on conversations and how to approach her. so when the time comes, you don't feel out of your element."
"who said i feel out of my element?"
you stared at him. "you said last night 'cats are great!' and expected conversation to flow naturally."
"okay so not my best moment."
"not even close." you sighed. "listen, i wanna help you, and i feel like this is your best bet in winning her over."
mat ran a hand down his face. "okay fine. what's the first date?"
practice date one: pumpkin patch
to be quite frank, you were nervous when proposing the idea, scared that he wouldn't be willing to sit in a car with you for three hours just to get to the pumpkin patch. and maybe he would find it childish.
when in fact, he said nothing about the long car ride, he even offered to pick you up from your apartment, and laughed when you offered to pay for gas. when you finally arrived, you jumped out of mat's car like an excited child. mat stepped out like he knew he was the romantic lead in a movie, suave and collected.
you two could not be more opposite of each other.
it took everything in you to focus on the task at hand, and not fall deeper in love with him. but how could you not? when he looked so boyfriend in a coat and flannel and beanie and jeans that hugged his thighs just right--
you were getting ahead of yourself. you were doing this for mat and alexa, not your own selfish ambition.
"so what's the plan?" he asked after locking his car with the key fob.
you shrugged. "what would you do if you were here with alexa?" the words tasted bitter in your mouth. it was such a painful reminder, knowing that this wasn't real and was in service to hook him up with your friend.
mat looked around and shoved his hands in his pockets. "corn maze?" he pointed. you must've made a face because he spoke up again. "what?"
"alexa hates corn mazes."
he paused. "to the pumpkin patch then?" you nodded and followed his lead. "so how did you meet alexa?"
"she was my first roommate in college, we shared the smallest dorm in history."
"that sounds like an exaggeration."
"says the man who never went to college."
he laughed. "i don't need a college education to identify a hyperbole when i hear one."
you gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. "a hyperbole? what a word."
"laugh it up," he said. "but i'm not a complete idiot, you know."
"never said you were. i just haven't heard anyone use hyperbole in a sentence outside of my english lit classes."
"well, you should know i'm full of surprises."
the two of you approached the pumpkin patch and started weaving between families and the occasional rogue toddler. mat had to tug you out of the way a few times when you about stepped on a child because you were gazing at pumpkins.
"if you don't mind me asking," mat started. "why are you helping me? you don't owe me anything. i feel like i'm taking advantage of your kindness."
you shrugged. "you wouldn't be the first one."
"what's that supposed to mean?" you looked up from the pumpkin patch to see mat's brows furrowed together and his mouth twisted in a cute frown.
"well, i mean, i've been told i have a habit of being a doormat at times."
"who said that?" his tone had changed to a softer one.
"huh?" you asked.
"who called you a doormat?"
you shrugged again, that seemed to be your go to move around him. you squatted down to look at a particularly fat pumpkin, inspecting all sides of it before you responded. "i've heard it all my life, some have said it in meaner ways, others have been nicer about it."
"i'm sorry," he said.
you stood to your full height which was still much shorter than mat's. "why? it's not like it's not true."
"what if i helped you?"
it was your turn to frown. "help me? with what? ice skating?"
mat rolled his eyes. "no, with confidence. maybe even get you a date."
you guffawed, mouth opening and closing like a fish. "what?"
mat pulled you out of the way of yet another child and kept his hand on your elbow until you were clear of the pumpkin roots. and if your heart stopped for a few seconds, that was your business, no one else's. "you heard me. you're young, single, and attractive and you spend all your free time at the office or DDing for your friends. we can work on your confidence and get you out there."
"i don't know..." though your mind was still focused on the fact that he'd called you attractive.
"what about that other photographer guy? tony?"
you cackled. straight up burst into laughter. "tyler? that's fucking hilarious mat."
"what?" the two of you continued down the patch, occasionally gazing at the pumpkins, but mostly just talking. "you two are always talking."
talking or being insulted?
you shook your head. "enough about me, we're here for alexa."
mat nudged you with his elbow. "actually we're here for me to win alexa over."
you kicked a small stone with the toe of your shoe and said nothing. the tragedy of your own personal situation wasn't lost on you, neither was the idiocy of your plan. what were you thinking, spending your free time with mat? to win over your friend?
it was textbook self inflicted torture.
"where'd you go?" mat nudged you again. "i lost you there for a second."
you bent down and picked up a smaller pumpkin. "what do you think about this one?"
"it looks fine. you're ignoring my question."
you juggled the pumpkin back and forth in your hands to determine if you liked it or not. "what question?" you looked up just in time to see mat roll his eyes, but he dropped the topic anyway.
the both of you walked over to the stall to pay for the pumpkin. you reached into your tote bag to grab your wallet, but mat was already holding out a five dollar bill to the vendor.
"you didn't have to--"
"do you wanna get some cider?"
you could've started drooling at the idea of drinking cider. "yes!"
mat chuckled and started walking towards the cider stand where a small family waited in front of you. "does alexa like cider?" he asked.
"what a random question."
"well you're not giving me anything to work with!"
you almost groaned. because he was right. you got caught up in the idea of hanging out with mat outside of work that you forgot the real reason both of you were there in the first place.
"she loves cider, especially when it's spiked. she also loves mulled wine." mat scrunched his face up. "not a fan?" you asked.
"warm wine? no thank you."
mat paid for the cider, going as far as having the cash ready before you could even order.
"you really don't have to keep buying things. i can pay!"
"oh this is all a bribe to get you to go through that corn maze with me."
your face dropped. "alexa doesn't like mazes."
"so i won't go with her next time, but you're here now and i wanna go."
you let him drag you along until you were in the thick of the maze. you let him guide the both of you through it like he knew what he was doing even though you were pretty sure you hit every possible dead end in the maze.
two little kids ran past giggling and smiling. "we found the end, mama!"
you almost laughed at the look of irritation on mat's face.
it took an obscene amount of time to get through the maze, and mat was in a much worse mood when it was all over.
needless to say, the ride home was quiet.
practice date 2: dinner at mat's
you weren't quite sure what mat was planning on making for dinner, but you were willing to bet the smell of smoke wasn't a part of the plan.
the scene when you walked into his apartment could only be described as chaotic. the smoke detector was going off and when you walked into the kitchen, mat was going between waving a towel under the detector and opening every window in his kitchen.
"you weren't supposed to be here yet!" he shouted over the noise before darting past you into the living room to open the windows in there.
you dropped your things on the counter and took over waving the towel under the smoke detector.
"what happened?" you asked.
"i suck at cooking!" he came back in the kitchen and took the towel from you. "i'm taller," he said like that was an explanation.
the beeping ceased and left the two of you in a hazy apartment. when you looked around the kitchen, you saw what had to be charred meat and veggies in a skillet.
"okay so when you cook dinner for alexa, don't. just hire a chef."
mat held up his phone. "or order pizza. you in?"
"do i get to financially contribute?"
he gestured to your belongings on the counter, one of which was a bottle of red wine. "you already did."
"you can't keep buying everything," you said. "it's not fair."
"why not? i'm the millionaire here, i'd look like a dick if i made you pay for anything. besides, when i date alexa, it's not like i'm gonna let my girlfriend pay."
girlfriend.
right.
that was the end goal for him.
you kept forgetting.
you cleared your throat and dusted your hands on your pants despite them being clean.
"you can go pick out a movie or something while i order the pizza?" mat suggested.
you had no choice but to nod and wander into his moderately decorated living room. it definitely still looked like a bachelor pad, but if a bachelor had enough money to hire someone to say he needed artwork, decorative pillows, and a couch that wasn't brown.
you were scrolling through netflix when mat came into the living room and plopped on the sectional beside you, shucking his shoes off. why he was wearing shoes in his own apartment was beyond you, but you weren't one to judge.
"you look nice," he commented, as if just noticing you for the first time that night.
you looked down at your own outfit. it was a pair of jeans and a nice blouse. "this?"
"are you wearing something else that i'm not seeing?" he teased.
before you could die of embarrassment, you switched subjects. "what do you want to watch? i haven't made a decision yet." you handed the remote to him, hating being the one to make the decisions.
he shifted on the couch so he was sitting up instead of lounging on the chaise and took the remote. "what's alexa's favorite movie?"
"birdbox."
mat did a double take. "she likes birdbox?"
you shrugged. "she's into suspense."
mat was about to select birdbox until he took one look on your face. you don't know what you looked like but it made him pause. "but are you?"
"why do you care what i like?"
"because you're here, alexa's not. i don't wanna make you watch something you'd hate." mat shifted on the couch. "why don't we work on those dating tips i talked to you about."
"oh i don't think--"
"why not?" he asked. "you're always so jittery whenever we talk about it."
oh.
was he referring to the other day after practice when he saw tyler tormenting you and mat misinterpreted that as flirty banter? mat had come up to you afterwards to give you pointers but you practically ran away.
"it's not that simple, mat."
"i think it is."
you threw your hands up. "well then, by all means you must be right."
"what's with the attitude?" he asked. "did i say something?"
it was a good question. one that shouldn't make you want to cry, but life felt overwhelming in all the worst ways. between tyler harassing you every second of every day and pretending like you weren't in love with mat so you could set him up with your friend, and taking photos for games and practices, you were exhausted.
"i'm not sober enough for this," you said before getting up and popping the cork on the wine bottle and drinking straight from it.
it was another thirty minutes before the pizza arrived and the both of you were well on your way to wine drunk, you more so than mat. who could blame you though? your life was a sad excuse for a single twenty-something and you were tired of thinking about it.
"truth is," mat started with a mouth full of pizza. "you just need to act like you're the best thing that's ever happened to this city. guys love confident women."
"and that's your biggest issue with alexa right now."
"wanna switch personalities?"
you laughed.
"what?" he asked. "what's so funny?"
"i'm trying to picture you without an ego and i don't think it's possible."
mat rolled his eyes but had a smile on his lips anyway. it shouldn't have made your heart pound the way it did, but you were weak for that man, you had been since day one.
so you switched courses.
"okay," you started. "how do i make get a guy to wanna date me?"
mats eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "you're serious?"
you nodded. "as a heart attack."
mat sat up on the couch and faced you. his eyes scanned your face like he was looking for something but couldn't find it. maybe he was looking for a reason to change the subject.
"alright," he said. "you gotta be confident, even if you don't feel like it. most guys don't mind a little insecurity, they find it kinda cute, but a guy who wants an insecure girl is a red flag."
"should i be taking notes or...?" you took a large sip of your wine and smiled when mat rolled his eyes again.
"secondly, you can't be hiding behind your camera all the time."
you guffawed. "i do not hide behind my camera!"
"oh give me a break, you totally do! you walk around like it's a safety blanket or something."
"because it is!"
"exactly my point! thirdly, chivalry isn't dead. if he's not doing basic things like opening doors, walking on the closest side to the street, and he's only talking about himself? run."
"what? he can't be a good person if he doesn't do those things?"
"if he can't do a basic kind gesture, he's not going to do larger ones. sorry. i don't make the rules."
you blinked. "but you kinda are making the rules for me, right now."
"you're such a smart ass, just like tito."
"is that a good or bad thing?"
mat shrugged and took another bite of pizza. "hard to say, i love tito most days."
love.
don't be an idiot and read into things.
"so," mat leaned back into the couch. "i gave you advice, it's my turn. how do i win over alexa?"
you thought back to the conversation you had with her a few weeks ago about mat. and one comment stuck out the most. "i think the biggest sin you committed was not knowing anything about me despite working together for two years," you admitted shyly.
mat's brows furrowed in that cute way they always did. "what do you mean?"
"she said she's not impressed by you being nice to kid fans or tipping waitstaff. she would be impressed if you knew anything about me because i'm not a hockey player."
mat recoiled as if physically struck by your words. "she thinks that low of you?"
"no she didn't mean to say you were--" you paused. "me? you think she has a low opinion of me?"
mat crossed his arms. "she just insinuated that you weren't important enough for me to know."
"no! that's not what she meant! she was saying that you think you're better than me."
"that's not even remotely true." and he said it so confidently, you almost believed him. "it's not, you know that right?"
you hesitated and you might as well have punched him in the gut.
mat said your name so softly like it was precious. like it was something special. "you have to know, i have never, not once, believed you were beneath me."
you gave him a small smile. "you don't need to explain yourself to me, mat."
he reached over and grabbed your hand, tugging on it lightly. "no. i need you to know, you are important to me."
your heart fluttered at his words, or maybe it was the fact that you were holding hands and you could feel the calluses rub against your own palm.
you could've stayed there forever.
"jesus fucking christ, why does it smell like something burned in here?" the front door opened and slammed sending you and mat sprawling apart like you hadn't been locked in a staring contest and holding hands. tito rounded the corner and crossed his arms, a smug expression on his face. "what do we have here?"
"nothing!" you squeaked out. "i was just leaving!"
"no you weren't," mat started, eyes wide with an emotion you couldn't place. "beau was just leaving."
you looked as confused as tito was. "what? no i'm not." you glanced back at mat who could not have looked more annoyed if he tried. "or i can...?"
"no!" you said. "i need to get going anyway. got work tomorrow, long day."
mat stood up when he realized there was no convincing you. "i can walk you out--"
"don't worry about it! i'm a big girl." you were leaving when you heard whisper shouting. you couldn't fully make out what they were saying, but before you shut the front door behind you, you could've sworn you heard them mention "liking her."
you did your best not to let the talking break your heart even more.
practice date 3: ice skating
you made mat pick out the last date but he hadn't told you what it was, just asked for your shoe size.
aside from that?
radio silence.
maybe you should've seen this coming. you'd talked to alexa a few days ago and she'd suggested that maybe you should put yourself out there more, find a date, find a boyfriend, find some happiness.
after practice, you found yourself scrolling through your camera roll in one of the seats in the arena when a pair of skates came into your peripheral. you looked up expecting to see a mop of black hair and hazel eyes.
but it was tito with a sheepish grin on his face.
"hey," he said.
you put your camera down and smiled. it was always good to see tito, with the exception of the other night. "hey, what can i do for you?"
anthony playfully rolled his eyes. "you don't live to serve us," he said. "i don't need anything, just wanted to say hi."
"hi!" you smiled even brighter.
"i was wondering, what're you doing friday night?"
you jaw dropped. and it must've been funny because tito threw his head back and laughed. "what?"
tito smiled at you and gestured towards you. "i was wondering if you'd want to get dinner with me on friday. i don't know what time you get off work, but i was thinking 6:30?"
you blinked. you blinked again. "are you serious?"
"why wouldn't i be? you're attractive, single, and i like your company. i think we'd have a fun time."
"okay," you smiled again. have you ever smiled this much in your life? you were unsure. "okay yeah, friday at 6:30 is perfect."
"great," tito grinned. "can i have your number?" you handed your phone over rather quickly, watching as he typed his number in and texted himself. "i'll see you," he said.
"bye tito!" you waved until he was out of sight. and even then, you continued to stare at the spot he was once occupying.
"what the hell was that about?"
you jumped about a foot in the air when tyler made his comment from over your shoulder. "jesus fucking christ, tyler." you placed a hand over your heart to feel how rapidly it was beating. "are you some sort of lurker?"
"what did beauvillier want with you?" he condescended.
"it's none of your business." you rolled your eyes when your phone buzzed.
mat barzal: come down to the locker room.
"who is that?" he asked, peering over your shoulder, but you stood up and started walking away.
the both of you headed down to the locker rooms, though you weren't really enjoying the company. tyler kept talking about your lackluster photography skills like the both of you didn't have the exact same job title.
you were rounding the corner when you saw mat leaning up against the wall, still in his hockey gear. tyler, being confronted with an audience, immediately departed. if you had to guess, he probably went back to his office to scheme how else to make your life miserable.
"hey," you said as you approached. "what's up?"
mat reached down and tossed a duffle bag at your feet. "open the bag," he directed.
you squatted and opened the zipper to see a pair of ice skates. you looked up at mat who looked pleased with himself. "what're these for?"
"you ever been ice skating?" he asked.
the short answer? no.
the long answer? once in second grade for a field trip.
"kinda?" you said instead.
mat laughed, like an actual laugh. there was a shiver that went down your spine at the very sound of it. "it's a yes or no question."
"i would say yes, but i was like eight."
"yeah, doesn't really count anymore. grab the bag, let's go." he walked off without a second thought, leaving you scrambling with the bag and rushing after him.
"what's the point of this?" you called after him.
"you told me to pick the last date, this is it!"
you stopped walking immediately. "mat, i don't know if this is a good idea..."
as if sensing your hesitation, mat turned around and walked back towards you. he rested his hands on your shoulders and squeezed lightly, ducking his head down towards yours. "i'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you, i promise. you have nothing to be afraid of."
"what if my boss sees? what if lou sees? i'm a lot more replaceable than you are."
mat scoffed. "first of all, you're not replaceable. second of all, it's gonna be fine. i'll take all the heat if we get in trouble, which we won't because it's not a big deal." he reached down and grabbed your hand that wasn't holding the duffle bag. "now c'mon."
he led you out to the bench where you sat down and placed your camera on the bench. "take your shoes off and put these socks on." he tossed a pair of socks at your head that you barely caught in time.
"but i'm already wearing socks," you said.
"these are longer, unless you want the boot to cut into your ankle."
safe to say, you put the socks on.
mat knelt in front of you to help put the skates on, tying them up so they were secure on your feet.
you wanted to swoon at the sight of him before you. thankfully, he stood up and helped you to your feet before you could start imagining anything preposterous.
like him proposing.
you watched as mat slid over the top of the bench railing and onto the ice. he turned around and looked at you expectantly.
"oh hell no," you said. "where's the door, i'll use the door."
he cackled as you walked and opened the door, but skated to you anyway to give you some assistance when stepping onto the ice.
"easy does it," he said, chuckling when your grip was practically crushing his fingers. "you're okay, i'm not gonna let you fall."
"it's not you i don't trust, it's me."
mat kept a grip on your hands and led you out to the center of the ice. on the way to the center, you slipped twice, a squeak leaving your lips. you quickly latched onto mat who only laughed at your death grip on his forearms.
"it's not funny," you whined. "i'm terrified."
"you're right, it's not funny. but it is cute." he removed your hands from his arms and skated away from you. "okay, now come to me."
he was easily twenty feet away.
you glanced down at the ice and then back at mat. you would've sat down if you knew how to without eating it. "mat, i'm telling you right now, that's not gonna happen."
"it's not that hard."
"you've been skating since you were a child. i have not." you attempted to take a step forward, but thought differently of it. "besides, how does this help you with alexa?"
"easy," he said. "if i can teach you to skate, i can teach anyone."
"so your idea of a romantic date is a girl busting her ass over and over for an hour?"
"not quite," he said, skating circles around you.
literally.
"you're being an ass,' you whined. "why did the one practice date you pick out have to do with hockey?"
"because it's what i love. and if a girl can't hang with it, our relationship is doomed to fail."
you rolled your eyes. "that's a bit dramatic. you can appreciate and love hockey without having to ice skate. thousands of fans do it all the time."
"but my girlfriend won't be just a fan, now will she?"
your heart sank at the idea of alexa and mat in a similar situation. alexa actually trying to skate and looking beautiful while doing so. you pictured them laughing as she slipped and mat catching her before she could fall.
"you okay? i lost you again." mat skated right up to you, leaving maybe a foot of space between the two of you.
"yeah," you breathed. "just thinking."
mat smirked and skated backwards. "uh oh. that can't be good. less thinking more skating. would it help if i pushed you?"
"no!" you shrieked. "it definitely wouldn't!"
but it was too late. mat was skating up behind you and placing his hands on your waist. "relax," he murmured. "i'm not gonna push you without a little guidance."
relax?
relax?
when his hands were on your waist and he was mumbling in your ear?
how the hell was anyone supposed to live, laugh, love in these conditions?
mat added a little pressure to your back. and suddenly you were moving. "that's it," he praised. "now just move your feet."
it was easier with mat's hands on you, the sensation forcing you to focus on the warmth of his palms than the fact that you were skating on sharp knives.
"see? this isn't so bad, right?"
it wasn't too terribly bad, truth be told it was just like roller skating, just ten times scarier.
"yeah," you said. "not too bad."
"so you're ready to go by yourself?" his hands starting slipping away, leaving a burning sensation in their wake.
"i--"
but he was already skating away. he stopped about twenty feet away and smiled. "skate to me."
"mat--" your voice shook at the idea. skating with him was one thing, skating to him was another.
"hey," he said quietly. "eyes on me, okay? i'm not gonna let you fall, if i think you're gonna fall, i'll catch you. i was the fastest skater in 2020, remember?"
you nodded. "just like roller skating," you mumbled.
"except better," mat added.
you took a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other, slowly but surely gliding towards him. you started picking up pace the closer you got to him.
"mat?"
"you're doing great!" he smiled.
"i don't know how to stop!"
mat laughed even as he caught you. his arms gripped your biceps and his smile was a mile wide. "you okay?" he asked.
you couldn't help but smile. "yeah," you breathed.
there was hardly any room between the two of you. your heart was beating wildly in your chest at the proximity, the rush of skating alone, who knew? you surely didn't.
you looked into his eyes and could've sworn his gaze dropped to your chin, but you were known for your hopeless romantic delusions, so maybe--
"hey!" whatever trance you were in ended when you saw a man in coveralls standing at the end of the rink. "time's up, i gotta clean the ice!"
"sorry!" mat called. "we'll get out of your way!" he gently took your hand in his and skated the both of you back to the benches.
mat helped you take off your skates and walked you back up the tunnel towards the locker rooms. the both of you stopped just outside of them, considering mat still had to shower and go home while you had the rest of the day to do your work.
"this was really fun," you said. "terrifying but fun."
"i'm glad you enjoyed it." his smile just about made you collapse into a puddle.
but you got a grip on reality and nodded. "well, i hope this helps with alexa, i'll try to talk to her in the next day or so, see where her head is."
mat's jaw clenched but he nodded. "i'll be seeing you."
"bye, mat."
you might as well have been on cloud nine by the time you got up to your office. you were in a different zone, focused on the way that mat's hands felt on your body, in your own hand. the feeling of euphoria wouldn't leave your body, you were sure of it. nothing could take that feeling away.
until you got to your desk and saw tyler.
who was sitting on your desk and using a paper clip to get the dirt out from under his nails.
"what were you and barzal doing?" tyler asked, moving off your desk, instead choosing to lean up against the cubicle.
you ignored him.
"i asked you a question," he said.
"i heard you, tyler. but i have work to do." you signed into your computer and plugged your camera in, ready to start uploading and editing photos from practice and the game yesterday.
“do you really think sleeping your way through the roster will help you get your pics chosen for the social media accounts?” he sneered.
you froze, your fingers hovered over the keyboard. "what?"
"i said--"
"don't repeat it." another voice joined in and when you turned around to see who came in, you were flabbergasted.
mat.
"barzal i--"
"where do you get off talking to her like that? talking to anyone like that?" he stepped into the room, chest puffed out.
in all of your time working for the isles, mat had never been much of a fighter, but he looked ready to pummel tyler if need be.
"mat, it's fine," you mumbled.
"no, it's not. is this how he normally talks to you?"
you said nothing.
that only seemed to make mat angrier. "you need to go to HR about this. this is workplace harassment. now apologize," he directed at tyler.
"for what? speaking the truth? is this how you think you can get ahead in life?" tyler said to you. "first beauvillier now barzal?"
you and mat both froze. in the corner of your eye you could see his jaw clench before he looked at you.
"can you do your work from home?" he asked.
you nodded. "i just have a shit ton of editing but i can do that on my laptop--"
"great. i'll take you home."
"but my boss-"
"if anyone has a problem with it, they can talk to me. let's go." mat was spinning on his heel and walking out of the room as quickly as he came in. you were unplugging your camera and logging off your computer, packing up your things, before sprinting after him.
"mat! mat, wait up!"
he stopped walking and looked at you, an unfamiliar expression in his eyes. "can you wait for me outside the locker room? i still have to shower and change."
you nodded. "why did you come upstairs anyway?"
"to give you the skates." you glanced down at his empty hands. "i forgot the bag, and by that point, i was too lazy to go down and get them without you."
the both of you continued your walk until you got to the locker room.
"i'll be a few minutes and then i'll take you home."
true to his word, mat was only gone for ten minutes before coming out freshly showered and ready to go home. neither of you spoke until he was pulling the car out of the parking garage.
"what did tyler mean when he mentioned tito?" mat asked after moments of silence. his fists were gripping the wheel tightly, though you didn't know why.
"tito asked me to dinner on friday."
mat's fists tightened their grip on the wheel and his jaw clenched so hard, you were afraid he was going to chip some teeth.
"oh." was all he said.
"something wrong? i just figured for once i wouldn't be hiding behind my camera like you said and i thought it would be fun, you know? we get along fine. why? do you think i shouldn't go?"
"no!" mat said quickly. "no, i just, it just caught me by surprise is all. i'm sure you'll have fun."
"and i can give you alexa's number if you want to ask her out! she's coming over tonight so i can talk you up now that i know more about you, make it seem more genuine."
"yeah," he choked out. "yeah, that would be great."
mat pulled up to your apartment a few minutes later and watched as you got out. "i meant what i said in your office," he said. "you need to tell HR about tyler's behavior."
"i will." you probably wouldn't. "thanks, mat."
he nodded as you shut the door and waited for you to go inside before driving off.
you walked up the stairs to your apartment and unlocked the door. as you shut the door behind you, you felt the weight of today bearing down.
tito asking you out.
the moments with mat.
the slut shaming comment from tyler.
when did your life get so dramatic?
step 4: get her to say yes
you had alexa over that night, armed with a million reasons why she should say yes to mat.
and the one reason why she should say no was locked deep in your chest. your happiness and affection for him shouldn't deter her.
besides, you would eventually get over your silly little crush, right?
right?
"so what's new in your world? i feel like you've been so busy lately. it's kind of strange," alexa said before shoveling a forkful of pasta in her mouth. it should've been disgusting, but she made it look graceful.
"oh you know, just working."
"is that why you were in the middle of nowhere a few weeks ago? work?"
"what?"
"i checked your location, you were on a farm. didn't realize the isles was doing photoshoots that far out of the city."
"oh they're not," you explained. "i was with mat, we were just hanging out."
alexa blinked. "since when do you and mat hang out?"
ouch.
but true.
you couldn't come out and say it could you? that the reason the two of you started interacting was because he wanted to date alexa?
no, you couldn't.
so you lied.
"oh, the social media team wanted me to get some information on mat, like a get to know you segment. they wanted something outside of work, so we were just hanging out so i could write this article on him."
a complete lie. you haven't had to write anything on anyone since your college journalism class. but alexa didn't know that. you never told her what you do all day for work. for all she knew, you could be running the tiktok account.
alexa raised an eyebrow. "and how did that go? was he talking about himself the entire time?"
"no!" you said. but then you paused, realizing that getting defensive would just look suspicious. "he told me a lot about how he doesn't like mulled wine and loves corn mazes despite being absolutely shitty at them. he loves his friends and hockey, obviously. he refuses to let anyone pay for anything while you're with him because he has money and likes to treat people. and he sticks up for the people that are important to him. and once you're in with him, you don't have to worry about your place in his life or how important you are because he will keep reminding you."
alexa stared at you. "are you sure you don't want to go out with him?"
you guffawed and hoped that it covered up your embarrassment. "what? no! he's clearly into you, and i think you should go for it."
"give me one good reason why."
"because he's kind, and nothing like your ex. he cares, legitimately cares about people and their lives." you sighed, not sure if you were convincing her. “it’s just one date, lex. if you don’t like him at least you got a free meal.”
alexa chewed her lip, letting you anguish in silence. "fine. you can give him my number and we'll set up a date. i trust you."
"fantastic!" you were already pulling your phone out. "he'll be so excited--"
"only if you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't have feelings for him."
you opened and closed your mouth. "i don't have feelings for him," you said with as much confidence as you could.
"honey..."
"no! i don't! if i had feelings for him, would i be going out to dinner with his best friend on friday?"
alexa didn't look fully convinced, but your date with tito was a welcomed distraction as she started rattling off questions about what you would wear and where he was taking you.
alexa left two hours later, meaning you could go to bed at a reasonable hour. as you laid in bed, you grabbed your phone and opened mat's contact, drafting a text to him.
here's alexa's number. managed to convince her you were worth a shot. xxx-xxx-xxxx.
you locked your phone and put it on do not disturb before you could see his response.
when you woke up the next morning, you saw mat had simply liked the message and left it at that.
by noon, alexa texted you that her date with mat was on saturday.
step 5: let the dates begin
friday came faster than you were anticipating. you kept your distance from mat, unable to look at him without thinking about how he was taking your friend out the very next day and that your interactions from that point on would probably be through alexa.
tyler kept his distance, must've been the threat of going to HR (that you still hadn't gone through with) that had him treating you like a human being with feelings.
as for tito, you probably should've been more excited for your date that night, but all you could focus on was how mat and alexa would fall in love and get married and have beautiful babies and grow old together.
and you would be the sucker who set them up because you could never tell mat no.
a slam against the boards startled you enough to look up from your camera to see tito standing there with a smile on his face.
"you okay?" he asked over the sounds of his teammates on the ice.
you gave him what you hoped was a convincing smile and nodded. but he rolled his eyes.
"we'll talk later," he said before skating away. you smiled and waved at him before you made eye contact with mat who was clenching his jaw. at what? you weren't sure. you even turned around to see if tyler had entered the arena, but you were standing alone.
like you always were.
you were headed back to your desk to do some editing as practice let out, but your name was called before you could get away.
when you looked over your shoulder, you saw tito doing an awkward half jog half walk towards you with a tired grin on his face. "hey," he said. "how do you think practice went?"
you turned to face him fully. "you're asking me? a professional asking some photographer how practice went?"
tito rolled his eyes. "oh c'mon. you've seen our practices, by now you should be able to determine whether or not it was a good one."
"well, no one fought each other, so i guess that's a win."
tito shook his head. "nah, that's when the best practices happen. when everyone's pissed at each other."
you smiled. "shows what i know."
"i think you know more than you think. you've worked here for awhile now."
"i've just gotten better at motion capture photography and following the puck around the ice. doesn't mean i know shit about hockey."
"don't think we don't notice you getting riled up during games when calls are missed."
you tilted your head and furrowed your brows. "we?"
tito shrugged and laughed to himself. "mat usually points it out before i can." you must've made a face because he added more. "it's usually on the bench, he's focused on the game when he's playing."
the both of you turn your heads at the other players walking down the tunnel. when the both of you caught sight of mat, tito smiled.
"will you send me your address? so i can pick you up?"
your attention snapped back to tito. "yeah! of course!"
he nodded and started his walk towards the locker rooms right when mat walked up to you. "what was that about?" he asked.
you shrugged. "just going over details for tonight. he needs my address to pick me up."
mat clenched his jaw again and looked down the tunnel, nodding his head. "that's tonight?"
"yep. at 6:30."
he wouldn't meet your eyes. instead, he looked at your shoes, your camera, the hallway, his teammates, but would never look at your face.
"you and alexa go out tomorrow, right? where are you taking her?"
he ran a hand through his hair and nodded at anders as he passed by. "yeah, we're going out to this sushi place. did you ever talk to HR?"
"well no but--"
"do i need to talk to HR?"
"he really hasn't been that bad lately--"
"because i threatened to tell HR on his ass. he's gonna get comfortable and start insulting you again. it's just a matter of time."
you nodded, feeling a lump in your throat form at the idea of mat scolding you, in front of his teammates no less.
mat sighed and ran a hand through his hair again. "i'm not trying to fuss or tell you what to do, i just don't like seeing you treated like that."
"thanks, mat," you mumbled.
he still wouldn't meet your eyes, instead looking down the hallway to see most of his team in the locker room. "i gotta go, but um, good luck tonight. beau's a good guy."
with that he turned on his skates and walked away.
you felt every bit of pathetic as you watched him go.
that night, you settled on a pretty dress that wasn't too fancy, seeing as the only details tito had given you were that it was nicer than an olive garden but not a michelin star restaurant. you were strapping yourself into your heels when you heard a knock on the door.
your phone said it was only 6:15, but maybe tito was accounting for traffic. he never did specify when the reservation was.
"coming!" you called as you put your last heel on and made your way to the door. "i wasn't expecting you this early, you never told me when the reservation was--" your voice trailed off when you opened the door and saw who was standing on the other side.
mat.
he looked more disheveled than you'd ever seen him. it was clear he'd been running his hands through his hair repeatedly just by the strands sticking out every which way.
he still looked handsome.
"mat, what're you--"
"i think you're beautiful. and smart. and passionate about a lot of things. and i think anyone who tells you otherwise is an idiot, and i'd fight them if you'd let me." your eyes started welling up with tears. "i think you're perfect for me and if you'd let me take you out, i promise i'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you."
you blinked until the tears disappeared by sheer willpower, not willing to cry in front of him. "that's perfect," you said. "say that to lex and she'll be eating out of the palm of your hand."
you turned around to grab your bag and coat before you could see mat's face drop in confusion. by the time you turned back around, anthony was standing next to his best friend.
"you ready?" he asked, only glancing at mat out of the side of his eye.
you nodded and squeezed mat's arm as you passed; you couldn't help yourself. "get home safe, mat."
neither you or tito spoke until you got into his car. "what was that about?" he asked.
you shrugged. still not fully comprehending why mat showed up at your door in the first place. "he was telling me what he was gonna tell lex tomorrow, i think."
"really." he didn't sound convinced.
"why else would he show up?"
tito mumbled. "i can think of a few reasons."
after he parked the car, tito got out and opened the door for you while you were answering texts from alexa. he offered you a hand to get out that you took.
there were no sparks, no electric sensations going up your arm. just physical contact, just the warmth of his palm in yours.
he led you into the restaurant which was moderately fancy, like he said. the two of you were escorted back to a table in the corner, away from windows and therefore away from prying eyes.
like a gentleman, he pulled your chair out and helped you scooch up to the table.
"i can't remember if i told you this, but you look lovely," he said with a smile.
"thanks," you replied. "you look handsome." and you meant it. if you weren't in love with his best friend, in another life, you could see yourself falling for his blue eyes. and maybe you still could. mat was going on a date with your friend tomorrow so it was better that you just get over him already and--
"so how long have you been in love with mat?"
you choked on your own spit, and for a minute, tito looked apologetic. for his timing, you had to guess, not the question itself.
surely you heard him wrong.
"what?" you asked when you finally got your bearings.
"how long have you loved him?"
nope. you heard him correctly.
"i--"
he leaned forward, arms braced on the table. "you don't have to lie to me, i know. i've known for awhile."
"i--"
but the server came up and asked for drink orders. tito ordered a bottle of red for the table after asking for your thoughts.
you were still reeling from his question, safe to say you didn't have any thoughts.
"sorry," tito started. "i didn't mean to make you feel cornered, i just wanted to be honest."
"it doesn't look like you're the only who needs to be honest, it's me." you fiddled with the ends of your dress.
"why'd you do it? why'd you help set mat up with your friend?"
you shrugged. "i just wanted to see him happy. and i wanted alexa to find a good guy, i knew mat was one. they make sense together."
"even if it makes you unhappy."
"even if it makes me unhappy."
tito nodded, and looked at you like he could see something you couldn't. "let's forget about him for now and just enjoy dinner, eh?"
you gave him your best smile and nodded.
the rest of the night flew by. soon enough, tito was walking you up to your apartment and kissing your cheek before he left. you wished you felt butterflies, or something, but there was no special sensation. nothing to make you weak in the knees.
it was like a kiss from an old friend.
your phone buzzed with a text from alexa.
alexa: how'd your date go?
you typed out a quick response.
it was good. just got home.
you locked your phone and placed it on your nightstand before collapsing into bed. but your phone buzzed again. you thought about ignoring it, but if it was alexa, you didn't want her to think you were upset at her.
mat barzal: did you have fun?
you blinked before typing back.
yeah. tito's great.
not a second later, you got another text.
mat barzal: good. have a good night.
you fell back against your pillows and cursed at the ceiling.
step 6: let them fall in love
you woke up the next morning and stayed in bed until your bladder was about to burst. after the date with tito and the reminder that mat was going out with alexa tonight, it was all enough to put you back in bed as soon as you peed.
and you stayed there, flicking through netflix shows and wallowing in self pity. you usually weren't this pathetic, but the idea of alexa and mat getting cozy on their date that night was enough to warrant your sadness.
you'd pull yourself together by monday when you'd have to go back to work and see how happy she made him.
that's what you kept telling yourself, that at the very least, two of your friends would be happy.
by 7pm, you were sitting on the couch, waiting for takeout to arrive.
when a knock on the door signified your food arrived, you got up with your blanket burrito and walked to the door. you didn't even bother checking before yanking the door open and looking down at your doormat.
only to see a pair of shoes.
"what the hell," you mumbled. "i thought i said leave at the door...' your voice trailed off as your eyes lifted to meet a pair of hazel.
mat barzal.
he had your food in one hand while the other was in his pocket.
"mat?" you whispered. suddenly, you were throwing the blankets off your shoulders and behind you into your apartment where they'd be out of sight.
though it was then you realized you were in sweats and you hadn't done anything with your hair all day so you were probably better off with the blanket burrito instead.
"hi," he breathed. "here's your food." he handed it over, nodding when you murmured your thanks, and shoved his other hand through his hair.
you glanced at the time on the clock on your wall to make sure you weren't hallucinating. "why're you here, mat? shouldn't you be with alexa?"
"that's what i wanted to talk to you about, actually."
"oh no," you started panicking, your eyes widened. "did she not show up?" you turned back into your apartment and went to your phone, searching for texts from alexa to explain her absence. "i swear i thought she'd show. she told me she would and she's usually a woman of her word."
you turned around when your front door shut with mat standing in the middle of your living room, looking out of place and right at home somehow.
your phone was vacant of any text messages from alexa.
"no, she showed. i left early."
that caught your attention.
you set your food on the coffee table and turned around to face him.
"why did you leave early? was she rude? are you sick?"
mat shook his head. "no, i'm fine, she was fine. that's not why i'm here. i mean it is but that's--that's--i want, no i need to tell you something."
"tell me what?"
he rolled his eyes. "i'm getting to that." he started pacing your very small living room. you wondered if he knew how much space he took up in your apartment. you wondered if he cared how messy your place was. "i'm just gonna come right out and say it, and don't interrupt me this time." you nodded.
mat ran both hands through his hair for the twentieth time since he showed up. "when i said all those things last night, i wasn't talking about alexa. i was talking about you."
what.
but he continued.
"i'm not gonna pretend i've loved you this whole time, but i fell in love with you along the way. the way you kept analyzing every fucking pumpkin for the perfect one, or how you bring red wine to dinner unprompted because you can't not contribute to something, or the way you trusted me enough to take you on the ice and show you something i love, or how you laugh like no one has ever said something mean to you in your life even when i know that jackass tyler harasses you on the daily. you're kind to literally every person i've ever seen you interact with.
"but i hate the way you shrink yourself like you're afraid to take up space. i hate the way you act like alexa's better than you, like i couldn't fall in love with you when you're literally the most generous, kindest, passionate, and beautiful person i've ever met in my life. because i do love you. every fiber of my being loves you."
you blinked once. twice. and breathed.
"what?" you whispered as tears gathered in the corners of your eyes.
"i know you just went out with tito last night, and if you like him, if you love him, i get it. he's a great guy and you'd be great together. but i'm asking you to give me a chance, give us a chance. i've had fun with you the last few weeks and i cannot bear the thought of not calling you mine any longer." his chest was heaving as the words rushed out of his mouth.
you rounded the coffee table to get to him. as soon as you were in arms' reach, mat was pulling you to him. with your hips pressed together, your lips just a breath away, you spoke softly.
"please tell me this isn't a dream."
a small laugh escaped his lips and echoed over your own. "it's not a dream, baby. this is real. i love you so fucking much."
"i love you too, mat."
any words you had left to say were lost as he brought your mouths together.
you weren't sure how much time had passed before you separated from him with your hands pressed on his chest. mat tried to follow your lips, but you kept a firm hand on his sternum so you could speak.
"what about alexa?"
mat pulled back. "what about her?"
"you were on a date with her and just left her there?"
"i more than covered the tab if that's what you're afraid of--"
"what if she hates me?"
he laughed. like threw his head back and laughed before kissing you again. "baby, we were there for fifteen minutes and all i could talk about was you. she told me to come here and tell you the truth."
you smiled. "thank god for alexa."
"thank god for alexa."
mat led the two of you over to the couch where you immediately curled into him. he kissed the top of your head, seemingly addicted to having his lips on your body at all times. "you're fired, you know."
you would've pulled away had mat's grip allowed it. "what? fired from what?"
"the wing woman business. you're absolutely horrible at it."
"yeah, well i think it worked out pretty well."
he pressed his lips into your hair and mumbled. "yeah, i think so too."
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atyourmerci · 2 months
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† Corruption †
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Read pt.1 here
Summary: After that fateful night when Abby stumbled into your room and began her demise, she follows you into the showers to reconcile her sins
Warnings: smut, MDNI, switch!abby!?!?, switch!reader, heavy religion play indisone, fnv, cunnilingus, dirty talk yurrrr, no use of y/n
A/N: sorry this took 4ever I just really wanted to get this right and I still don’t love it but I must feed my babies. I mightttttt make a pt.3 that’s up to yall but either way I’m going to work on some other stuff so please send in recs!! (Also I know hotels don’t have communal showers just shut up and enjoy the porn:))) 
Your vision went blurry, plunging you into a coma that kept your breathing synchronized until you couldn’t remember anymore. Maybe all the heavy breathing took you out, maybe God was retaliating at your corruption of his loyal follower. Either way- it was a good way to go out.
When you woke up, severely late at that, there was no sight of Abby, she was gone like the wind. In any normal case, that was what you preferred. The useless banter, awkward cuddling and sentiments were far beyond you. But this felt different- she- was different. Not in a way that you couldn’t have her, an unforbidden love tragedy, but in a way that she altered every being in you. She fucked everything you knew.
Days went by with no interaction; you both avoided each other like the plague. She probably condemned herself the moment she left; fuck she was already in suit of redemption mid orgasm. You avoided her because you knew you couldn’t stop yourself. This wasn’t her way of life- it was yours. Sure, she initiated it, but you reveled in it, got off on it, desired more.
Your thoughts were selfish, self-indulgent, downright merciless. While your days were spent avoiding your unrequited love, your nights had grown breathless as your hand was shoved deep into your panties trying to get yourself off to thoughts of Abby, to no avail. It felt like your karma for fucking God’s favorite devotee. You wished she would hear your aimless attempt, swoop in and return your favor. But she never did, of course she didn’t, she feared her own fucking reflection.
After a week of thoughtless days and sleepless nights you decided to shove the night as far back as possible, stop ruminating on the idea of her. That’s all that night was, a desperate idea of what she could be without moral. That wasn’t the Abby anyone knew, and neither did she.
Friday was terrible, there was an attack at the camp and a few soldiers were pretty bad off. Since you were the only medic, you were tasked with treating multiple injuries at once, scaling them at the urgency of attention. In a sick way, you hoped Abby was hurt. You wished you could have tended to her, even in that light, any way you could get your hands on her.
The only sight of Abby was her bringing in wounded soldiers’ bridal style into your med tent. When she first arrived, it was the first words either of you had spoken in a week, only for her to bark at you about the incident and return with additional members. After she had carried all of them in, she stood and watched you tend to them for a second before you aggressively whipped back to her with a, “I got it, stop breathing down my neck.”
You weren’t trying to be harsh with her, but the last thing you needed was her presence in the wake of this monstrosity. She had already clouded your every thought, and this was not the time to finally have her at the tips of your fingers again.
After hours of stitching, compacting, and amputating wounds you were spent. Blood trailed up and down your body, caked in sweat and dirt. You were barely mobile at this point, but the thought of going to bed decorated with the blood of your friends was unnerving.
You set off to the communal showers in the middle of the rundown hotel, it was so late at this point that you were guaranteed a peaceful shower uninterrupted by any needy suitors. You removed your blood adorned clothes, dropping them to the cold white tiled floor and started the rusty shower head.
The hot water drowns your skin as blood and dirt trail down your body into the drain, you let it soak in your tired flesh as you let the day out of you. You let your fingers run through your tangled hair when you hear a creak of the door open, causing a heavy sigh to linger out of your breath.
The last thing you wanted to do was having to entertain the presence of someone else so you decided to ignore the rustling, continuing to wash through your dirty locks.
Your peace was faltered as you left a breath coming from behind your neck, heavy in almost a pant. You feel strong hands whip you around to face your attacker, and shoved into the cold back tile of the wall sending you into a gasp. Abby stood before you, already stripped of her clothing, the water fell in between your bodies and into your open mouths.
Her hands still gripped at your waist, “touch me and don’t make a fucking sound,” she aggressively whispers low enough so no one could hear, as if it wasn’t the middle of the night, or that the water wouldn’t muffle out any noise, maybe she was that scared of being caught.
“Abby if you think this-“you begin to protest when she cuts you off by pulling you in by your waist to kiss you like a woman starved. It had only been a few days, but she gripped onto you like it had been years, years since she let herself go out of morality. You wanted to stop yourself, tell her you wouldn’t live this lie for her, but your body had a different agenda, it ached for her touch, anything she would give you.
She pulls away from you to simple mutter out a “please,” and you were convinced. It was like a parasite had wormed its way into you, you had gotten just as starved as she was. Without a beat you sunk to your knees as the water flooded your vision, the only sight was her sticky floods pooling between her muscley thighs. You attacked her pussy with your lips spewing a guttural moan out of her lips, she gripped onto your soaked hair for leverage. Her grip on your hair was almost painful but you couldn’t stop lapping her slick into your needy tongue to stop her.
Abby was already shaking from the overstimulation, you couldn’t pace yourself, you needed her to cum for your own validation, to know how much she needed you. Even if she never touched you, you were still fulfilled by the act. “F- fingers pl-ease” she says muffled by the water drenching you. You turn up to watch her plead tongue still deep into her slit, mascara running down your face as the water pelleted your eyes.
“D-ont look at me like th- this,” her mouth agape, she looked like she was crying, maybe she was, maybe it was the hot steam. You run a fat strip from her leaky hole up to her clit never leaving her gaze, she couldn’t look away and neither would you. “What are you going to do if I don’t Anderson?” You say with a cocky smirk and drive your tongue deep into her cunt again making her shake.
With an angered grunt you feel your hair being pulled up so that you’re back to your feet, you let out a wince from the pain before she throws you back onto the tiles, this time you had been too worked up to feel the chill of them on your skin. She places her left hand onto the titles next to your head, the veins in her arms bulging from using them to pull all of your body weight by your hair.
Her chest is flesh with yours that you can feel your bodies breath’s heave back and forth, eyes drilling into each other. “Fingers.” She demands. You didn’t realize you were so in shock by her aggression your hands were pinned at your sides, you moved them down her chest slowly, feeling every chiseled-out crevasse on her. Her breath only becomes more rapid as you draw your fingers closer to her aching cunt.
She whimpers out a “fuck,” as your fingers reattach to her clit, rubbing slow enough to relieve the pain but not enough to get her off. You watch as her head finally drops, and her arm shakes next to your head. Her cross was laid messily on her chest, flipped backwards, you hold back laughter as you think to yourself how God couldn’t watch this right now.
“You like getting fucked by a girl huh Anderson?” You dip your head closer so that you’re in her ear now, “you touch your little pussy every night since I made you cum, yeah?” You taunt and tease her as she whimpers into your ear. “St-op it,” she begs with her head nuzzled into the crook of your neck in a way to almost hide herself.
“Its okay baby, tell me how much you like getting fucked like a godless whore,” you start to circle her clit harder and faster so you can watch how much she likes it. All she can spit out in return is a desperate “fuckkkk,” and you know you’ve broken her. “D- don’t let me cum- I- I don’t deserve it,” she moves her head so you can see her now and begins panting on your lips.
“oh no Im going to enjoy watching you break again,” you say back with a wide grin, reveling in her desperation. You’re ready to dip your fingers into her dripping folds when you feel her free hand travel up your thigh. Her hand finally meets your cunt and she grips it harshly causing you to buck your hips into it.
“A- abby what are you d-doing?” Every emotion hitting you like a ton of bricks. Why was she touching you? This wasn’t her thing, not her job, that was your job. Would you be able to stop her? Control yourself? Let her have you? Why did she feel so fucking good when she was barely touching you?
She continues pulsing her palm into your aching cunt, “just let me try,” she breathes out against your soaked lips. Your fingers begin faltering at her clit, you try continuing your pace but it slows as her palm rubs against you.
She follows your lead by tracing her thick fingers through your slick folds, you bite down on your bottom lip to hold back from exposing yourself. When she begins circling your clit you can’t help but to whimper a choked out, “fuck just like that,” she was doing so well already.
She seemed pleased by her work, letting out a moan that followed your own. She was getting off on your pleasure instead of her own at this point.
You are barely able to keep your pace on her clit anymore, so engulfed by the feeling of her rough fingers on your swollen clit. She removes her fingers from your clit to move your hand off of her own clit, moving it so your palm lay against her chest.
She returns her fingers back so that only you are being pleased by her. You couldn’t believe that this was the first time she had done it, she felt like she was made to touch you, circling your bud like it would bring her to salvation.
Words were barely at the forefront of your mind at this point but you needed to ask her, “di- did you do all of- fuckkkk- ju- just to fuck me?”
She pierces her bright blue eyes into yours to make herself clear, “I worship you,” she says as she dips her long, thick ring and middle fingers deep into your cunt, immediately inching your g spot. The palm of her hand grazing your clit to give just enough friction.
All you can muster up to respond with is a guttural scream that rips through you, causing to use the hand that was placed on the wall to cover your mouth quickly. “Shhhh pretty girl I know I know,” she coos.
You bring her fingers into your mouth for leverage, anything to keep you from losing all control. Her pace quickens as she feels your walls clenching around her dripping fingers. How the fuck does she know you’re close.
As you begin nearing your climax, your mind runs free from all morality, she begin corrupting you just the same, driving out what you knew and replacing it with only her.
You didn’t even know you were doing it, not until she moved her fingers out of your mouth to understand you, “abbyabbyabbyabbyabby” with your eyes rolled, head slack on the tiles you begin worshiping her, praising her ever being like a mantra.
What brought you back to consciousness was the heavy breath and the ringing of your own name in a mantra beside your ear. You had never repented before, but she had begun her reconciliation along with you. If this were to be your religion, you’d give into her over and over again. At your knees to serve her, punished at your wrong doings and give penance for your sins.
“Serve me with your completion, give your god what she deserves,” she demands. You couldn’t disobey your savior, she showed your needy body mercy, and you must obey her.
It all hits you like a wave, all you can see is white as your body trembles under her. You can’t recall screaming but she moves her hand over your mouth. Your entire body shakes as she rides you over your high, kissing your forehead as you bite into her fingers, never letting up on her pace until she knows you can’t take it anymore.
As all of your limbs give out she slowly moves her fingers out of your abused pussy, picking you up before you fall straight into the hard tiles. She gently places you onto the tiles in front of her, holding you by your waist as the water floods from above you.
You try to mumble out something but she stops you with a quick “shhh I’m going to take care of you,” as she begins to wash out your hair gently. You lean your head into the crook of her neck and she lays peppered kisses from your shoulder to your neck.
“Please don’t run off again…” you muster up as she threads her fingers through your hair, “you’re all I know.”
“You’re all I have.”
Taglist: @wishbones999 @bookpagecandlescent @littlegingerperson2
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evilminji · 2 months
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You know how in Naruto, Sealing is a Finicky Art?
It's like computer coding, calligraphy, and symbolism had a super-powered/reality bending baby. You gotta think in VERY ADHD twirls and swirls too be any good at it. Which is why the Uzumaki rocked it so hard. But I digress.
Is Complexe AF.
Bends Reality and is EASY to fuck up.
Wanna bet? The BEST way to learn/use it? Is to copy already functioning examples? But Oh! How do you KNOW they are functioning? Safe? Well OBVIOUSLY, your Skilled At Seals teacher looks at it first! THEN gives it too you!
Using random seals you find in the dirt is how you get splattered across three different countryside in peices, after all. Possibly take out a nearly Town or two while your at it. No One Is THAT Dumb... RIGHT?
Enter Stage Right o/~☆ Humanity, Everybody! *polite, if strained, golf clapping*
They ABSOLUTELY Are!
Especially Ninja!
Ninja who, after fuckin MURDERING A WHOLE ASS VILLAGE OF SEALING MASTERS, decided to pick through the rubble! Because THAT is gonna work out GREAT! After all... it's not like you just KILLED the fuckers who could tell you what IS and IS NOT functional!
Was that once the "hazardous advanced class' sealing failures" bin? Or was it the "super awesome candy and rainbows" stash!? You don't know. NO ONE DOES NOW. You fuckin KILLED THE PEOPLE WHO DID.
They had their own REGIONAL Sealing Script.
You know, the one they taught to THEIR STUDENTS. Not outsiders. The students you KILLED, you absolute fuck nuggets. But hey! The threat of the Super Scary Sealing Masters is no more! Good job. You've successfully burned down the library. It can't hurt you ever again.
But NOW? You have piles upon piles of GIBBERISH.
You can only VAGUELY tell the novice seals from the master's. And even then? Do you have any idea what most of them DO? Nope. And after a certain point in training? The shaky, uncertain hand writing becomes smooth enough, that it all blends together in "Seals".
Now... what is the SMART thing to do?
Curse your hubris and the atrocities your fear allowed you to commit, obviously. But BEYOND that, Don't Touch Them. But we're Ninja. So WE are all suicidal idiots. The less smart but still Reasonably Precautionary thing to do? Study the amateur Seals. Learn Sealing from other masters.
Crack the Regional Script and slowly, painstakingly, work through each seal as we sort out what is and isn't safe. What can be salvaged. What can be used and how.
A process that will likely take years if not decades.
But of course, that's not GOOD ENOUGH for certain grabby handed, power hungry, short sighted, fuck weasels! No, no. It much EASIER to just throw human life into the blender until profit pops out! Completely IGNORING, of course, that SOME of these?
Could very well be the "Too Dangerous To Ever Use/Will Destroy Us All/Take Them All With Us" type of Seals that Kage usually LOCK UP. The kind you CAN'T destroy once you've made them, because the fall out would be WORSE. And?
Even if you are a murderous, middle management, go nowhere in your life, BASTARD of a ninja? Sometimes you can look down at the massive, intricately detailed, killer off nation's before you. Something that was WRAPPED in locks upon locks upon chains upon seals. And KNOW in your selfish, survival at all costs little heart... You DO NOT want anyone to fuck with this.
You CAN NOT let anyone fuck with this.
NO ONE can be allowed to touch it.
Not for ANYTHING.
You may fear S Class Kage and Missing Nin and what all else they may do to you. But THIS? Your eyes can't even properly FOCUS on it. It's like a tunnel that's lined with poetry, stretching all the way to the Earth's core. It's perfectly flat. It moves, a gentle rotation. But is that just your eyes, tricking you?
So much ink, it swallows the scroll, and this is when it's COMPRESSED.
How many nations?
How many NATIONS must this monstrosity span, when free?
It must have taken a Master decades, if not their entire life, to complete. Possibly a family, several generations. But... but gods it is a work of MADNESS. No wonder it was sealed. It speak, you... you THINK... of Death...
Of it's KING.
Something BEYOND the Shinigami. BEYOND Death and the Purelands.
Who the FUCK would try to summon something beyond GODS? Did they think they could control it? Chain it like the bijuu? You're so cold inside. Because you KNOW. You fucking KNOW, the ambitions and arrogance of those above you.
They'll think they can.
They won't listen.
You... you have to take this and RUN. You stand no chance. But no chance is better then oblivion. Anything is better then standing by and watching it happen.
You obviously don't make it. You never expected too. But at least... at least you won't have to watch whatever THAT is... arrive... fuck...
At least you TRIED.
And? Because leaf Ninja, specifically certain teams, have the MOST Shit luck imaginable? They arrive, having crossed paths with several other teams, on the way back home (yay! Warm food and real beds!) Just in time to see a desperate looking ninja from one of the small villages get fuckin pincushioned. Drop what is VERY clearly an Uzushio Scroll of considerable size and SEVERE SSS+ DO Not EVER Touch Grade Type Markings, and then some joining from that same village go to grab it.
Notice them.
You know... the multiple LEAF NINJA. Who TOO THIS DAY, wear the UZU swirl on their uniforms as a mourning tribute to the DEAR AND PRECIOUS ALLIES they could not save. The Uzushio Allies. Those ones. The ones that were, in fact, from Uzushio.
LIKE THE SCROLL YOU ARE HOLDING.
By the WAY! How DID you get that Scroll? Doesn't seem like something our dear friends would just HAND over, now does it? You didn't happen to LOOT THEIR FUCKIN GRAVES did you? Cause we sure would be MAD about that!
:)
Real Mad.
Dude obviously panics. Because that? That is a VERY pissed off bunch of Ninja, many in the bingo book, one of whom is Very Clearly throwing off BIJUU CHAKRA. And just said "my family's" Ha ha... Oh Shit that's an Uzumaki.
So he decides to USE THE SEAL.
What does it do?
He doesn't know! But it's probably SOMETHING big and impressive, right?
Yes. :) Yes it Does.
*Crack*
The SKY cracks. Like a pane of glass, struck by a hammer. Spiderwebbing as far as the eye can see above them, all from one central point, directly above the seal. The cracks there are concentrated. A point of impact. And through the cracks... something GREEN shines.
Brighter then the daylight around it, yet darker in color then the blue of the sky. Lazily whisping out like escaping mist. Time seems slow as their eyes all whip up wards. Even with senses beyond the normal human base, it is... inconceivable. SOMETHING winds back. They can not see it.
But they can feel it.
Like changing pressure as a storm rolls in.
*Crack!*
Green overtakes the blue. The sky a Kaleidescape of shards, held together by stubbornness alone. Reflecting a calm day that seems IMPOSSIBLE in the face of what's occurring. There should be wind. Great pressure changes in the face of so much FORCE, but the trees are eerily still.. utterly silent..
Nothing dares bring attention to itself.
Some distant part of their minds try to gather the thought that... that it could be an illusion. They... they should check. But they can FEEL it. Like a weight draped gently but without mercy upon their shoulders. It did not slam. But... but they can not move. Can barely breathe. It is beyond killing intent.
It is simply...
DEATH.
*CRASH!*
At last, the sky gives way. A fist, the size of towers punching through. It... it is almost elegant. A ring, almost in the shinigami's visage, wraps itself in a howling and snarled menace, around a great shining finger. A glove protects almost delicate looking, claw tipped fingers. The fist pulls back. Shard of sky falling, Floating, suspended in their moment of destruction, a glittering frame for the gapping wound that has overtaken everything.
Death...
Death has Green Eyes.
A crown of ice and starlight, pulled straight from the coldest north, hair that drifts like the drowned. His skin is that of a corpse. His breath a coldness that seems to suck all warmth from the world. There is no rage, no great irritation, his face merely twisted in slight annoyance. Mild displeasure.
And yet it feels like their greatest sin.
It BURNS.
They are ants. Less then ants. He... He LOOMS so TALL. The Green BURNS into their eyes, into their veins, chokes their lungs. The silence stretches. Those great eyes, the eyes of a GOD, move from them. To the man with the Seal.
He dies instantly.
Shit.
They... they need to... to...
Naruto wanders over and picks up the scroll, completely ignore the Giant Sky God Of Death and how all his friends are frozen in primordial fear. He roughly shakes the dirt off the delicate old relic, then squint at it. Figures he's holding it upside-down. Flipping it, he squints harder. Tilts his head and hums.
"Oh!"
He holds his hand up, turning to look at the terrifying Deity From Beyond Comprehension.
"It's me! I'm the Uzumaki! But, uh, I didn't actually summon you? Our stuff got stolen. Which really sucks!" He looks down again, brings the paper nearly to his nose trying to make out some thing. "Uuuuuh, huh. Got it! Can you get smaller? I don't got any BBQ or anything ON me right now, but Choji's Family makes REALLY good food! We can go out to eat? Ooh ooh! Maybe RAMEN! You like Ramen, right?!"
"Yep, Definitely one of Shouta's."
Rumbles The Actual Fucking King Of Death, shaking the trees and ground under your feet. As you probably stare at your fellow Leaf Nin like WTF.
"Sure, man. Give me a second."
And suddenly? He's leaning forward. Shrinking and twisting in ways that are painful to look at. The sky is... is not healing, so much as UNcracking. Rewinding itself to a pristine state. Until only a large, floating, armored God in black and white floats above you. Glowing.
One that... that is apparently FRIENDS with the Uzumaki Clan.
Because of course he is.
Naruto's introducing his Toads. And teammates. You almost feel bad for Hatake. But like? Better you then me, buddy. THEN? Death? Decides? For some inconceivable reason. "You know what? Im'ma just turn into a human WITH NO CHAKRA NETWORK. Reeeeeally freak out the locals."
And now Leaf is INCHARGE of entertaining A GOD until he decides to leave.
Or (presumably) Else.
And!! Because life loves to kick ninjas IN THE BALLS (for their stupid, STUPID life choices, YOU FUCKERS) it just HAD to be the One God? That can SEE DEAD PEOPLE. Because it's not like ninjas have Death Related Traumas or anything!
*internal ninja screaming*
Feed the guy some BBQ! Stat! Please Akimichi! Save us!
@hdgnj @hypewinter @the-witchhunter @ailithnight @nerdpoe @mutable-manifestation
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Text
Reign down on me - Part 5
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Pairing: Ghost x Hybrid!reader (eventual poly!141)
No use of y/n or mention of gender/race
Summary: Reader is a wolf hybrid in a world that treats them like second class citizens, given a horrible start in life after being thrown into the military with no preparation. After years of struggle, they're finally taken away from their base by Ghost, now a permanent member of taskforce 141 reader struggles to come to terms with the fact that perhaps there's a life there for them - if only they reach out and accept it.
Warnings: hurt/comfort, Angst, abuse mentions, self doubt, violent scenes
-🐺-
You fought back a sneeze, eyes going teary as your body pathetically fought the sand that had risen and invaded the wind. Suddenly you were finding yourself wishing for the ridiculous glasses that Ghost and the rest of the boys had been wearing earlier. Though you recognised that even if you had some of those monstrosities, it’d do you no good by that point. There was barely enough light to see by, the little half moon above was winking down and barely casting much of a glow over the night sky. 
Price had dragged you all into a briefing room earlier that day and gave you all the run down on a new target, Razin, a man suspected of manufacturing bombs for the militia you were after. From there you were shown pictures of him, raising your brows at his scrawny features, and given a little intel about the town you were now stalking through. Even at the time you’d quietly groaned at the mention of the little desert town, you hated having to put up with the sand getting caught in your fur and eyes, not to mention how it made it so much more difficult to scent things as well. 
The only benefit of the place was that the houses were small and usually that meant that there wouldn't be very much to sweep. That is if it weren’t built over a tunnel or extensive secret basement, which Price was heavily theorising could be a possibility. 
From what you’d been shown it was only supposed to be two floors tall, with a roof that allowed for people to be positioned on top of it, set against the backdrop of the rocky hills beyond. It was close to the outskirts of town but still enclosed by other houses, positioned on the side that crept nearest to the small river that snaked nearby before disappearing into the rocky outcrops beyond. It would’ve been a sweet little place if it weren’t owned by the chef boyardee of bombs. 
“Y’good, Pup?” Ghost murmured through the comms.
You looked over at the spot you knew he was positioned at, secreted away on the balcony to the right of you with his rifle, and huffed out a breath. Define ‘good’, you thought. It’d been a while since you’d been so far away from him. Now that you’d been hiding out by the open window for a few hours at least, you’d been blasted with sand and bored to death enough to make you want to cling desperately onto your handler’s leg and beg him to go home. 
“Affirmative,” you whispered back instead.
“Good. We’ve got movement on the road outside of town - you two might be set to move soon, so get ready.”
“Yes, Sir,” you answered. 
You rolled your tired shoulders and looked over at Soap, noting that his dark eyes were still flitting from the target location and to you, watching carefully like a fretful horse. He still looked barely more comfortable left alone with you than when you first arrived. The man had been none too pleased when Ghost explained his plan on arrival, frowning when he was told about your little team up. Couldn’t be helped when Soap was the best equipped to deal with explosives and someone had to play sniper and keep watch.
Of course Soap had continued to train with you in the week leading up to then, slowly getting better at not flinching whenever you got close to him. However he’d never had to be around you without Ghost as a buffer yet. Now that it was just you both in the small room across from the house, he was the most tense that you’d ever seen him. Not that he was trying to be obvious about it, he clearly felt he was being sly with his darting looks and slow sighs. For that you gave him some slack. 
“I’m thinking the window on the right side is the best entry point for me,” you said, looking meaningfully across at him. “I can sweep the first floor while you go around to the side door and I can make sure it's unlocked for you.”
“You wanna go in alone?” Soap questioned, narrowing his eyes at the house.
“It’s what war dogs are for,” you shrugged. “No point waiting for you to come in with me, I can get in and check the place out quietly before you come clomping in.”
“I don’t clomp,” Soap snorted, giving you a withering look. 
“Sure, tell that to all your heavy gear and your big boots. Trust me, if I go in and get a feel for the place then I can tell who or what we need to watch out for before we go sniffing out the target.”
“And you say ‘What’ meaning?” he questioned.
“Other hybrids, bombs, guns…etcetera,” you listed, shifting your sights to the window you’d pointed out.  
“You can tell all that just from going in and getting a whiff of the front room?” he asked dryly. 
“Well I can’t give exact information, but I can give a good guess. It’s just like when we’ve been training, if you let me get ahead of you then I can check the place out first and let you know what you’re up against. That’s how I keep myself useful.” 
“Ghost, you good with that?” Soap asked doubtfully, frowning over at the balcony from the corners of your vision. 
“The house has been quiet enough,” Ghost noted. “If Pup wants to go in first, I trust their judgement.”
“Pup’s way it is then,” Soap grunted, almost absolving himself of anything that might happen. “I’ll wait for you to open the door, furball.”
You nodded your head, forcing down your instinct to growl, keeping your focus on the window instead. You’d show him who was a fucking furball. 
This was it. It wasn’t lost on you that this job would prove to the team that you could be an asset - not just a stupid wolf that ploughed through training exercises. Someone that could be used as an effective tool if given the chance.
This was your chance. You anxiously ran your hands down your vest, breathing in measured lungfuls of air while you took stock of your inventory and grounded yourself. There were three knives held securely in the right side, new ones that Ghost had gotten for you ahead of the mission, and a small first aid kit and canteen stashed in the main pockets on your left. You were wearing your gloves, and your ear protection was on and looped round your ears, the rubber circlets had thankfully stopped feeling as aggravating against your fur now that they’d been on for a few hours. They always pressed up so uncomfortably against your helmet, though it was always better to face a little discomfort than being killed by a shot you might’ve avoided. 
“The car’s approaching the building, this is it.”
The old guard troupe would be coming out and a new one would be entering, however as the intelligence operatives had noted in their previous findings, the 2am group would never get to their posts on time. They'd opt instead to routinely drink and talk shit on the roof, presumably thinking that Eugene wouldn’t know about it, and would stick around for roughly a half hour before sluggishly making their way to where they should be - giving you and Soap time to get in, search for your target and hopefully get out before anyone was any the wiser. 
You heard the engine grumbling through the winding streets long before it reached the other side of the house, but as soon as the headlights illuminated the street over, they cut almost instantly with the noise. Doors slammed and snide voices carried out into the night, mingling together in two distinct groups, one set growly and tired and the others playful and light. It was impossible to make out exactly what they were saying, but you were sure that the group leaving were probably being very obvious about how happy they were to be getting the fuck out. 
“G’on, Pup,” Ghost murmured. “Make me proud.”
You shook your head and paid no more mind to the group on the other side, you were going to move forward out of view of them anyway. With Ghost’s encouragement strengthening your confidence, you were eager to press on. You nodded your head toward Soap as a ‘see you in there’ gesture and jumped out the window, stealing your way through the street and into the next window ahead. It was easy for you to spring up, tilting your tail a little to the left so that it wouldn’t smack against the frame.
As soon as you were inside you spotted the dancing shadows of the men toward the front of the building and found a decent hiding spot behind a side wall to wait in so that the new group of guards could pass by you. Your tail swished idly as you waited for them to come in and your ears twitched, listening out and rotating like little satellites as you took in your surroundings. The livingroom and kitchen were all one room, but there was a hallway to the bottom left that would allow entry into the house and up to the stairs beyond. 
The guard opened the door before long, letting the cool air breathe a sigh into the house, and luckily they trudged up the stairs in short order. Their steps were muffled and soft, attempting to be light so that their boss wouldn’t be alerted. You heard them all the same. Your ears could pick up so much more than any of theirs could, which means you knew the exact moment you were safe to launch yourself to the other side of the room and get the door for Soap. He raised his brows at you when you made a sweeping motion with your hand to welcome him in. 
“Love what you’ve done with the place,” he whispered. “How many guests we got?”
“We got about six men tonight I think. No hybrids - you’ll be glad to know,” you said just as quietly, grinning when you caught his guilty wince. “Can smell the explosives, think Price was right on his basement theory, they don’t seem like they’re upstairs.”
“Y’hear that Ghost?” Soap said, purposefully looking away from you. 
“Copy. I’ll keep an eye on the guards, you two track down that sly bastard,” Ghost answered, growly voice tickling your ears.
“Lead the way the way then, Pup.”
You nodded and lifted your head in the air, getting a good feel for the scent trail then turned toward the hall. The plastics clung at your nose and tugged you toward the stairs, but you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you needed to get below. Every instinct was telling you that you needed to go there, that someone’s steps had passed over them, but they hadn’t ascended. 
A soft growl tore itself from you. You needed to get closer to the source. You knelt down and took a tentative sniff of the floor, the steps creaked lowly like a clearing throat as you shifted your weight onto them. Bingo.
“The fuck are you doin’?” Soap hissed. 
You tilted your head up at him and smiled sweetly. 
“The nose knows,” you shrugged. 
“What’re you on about?”
Soap’s eyes were so wide you thought he might explode. You would’ve giggled if you weren’t conscious of how much noise you’d made already. No, it was important to try to be as quiet as possible in those next few seconds. 
You hooked your fingers onto the first step and pulled up, huffing out a breath as they turned out to be heavier than expected. Though in seconds the first three steps came away and rose up, revealing a concealed stairway below - leading down to the dingy basement. The smell continued through the shadows, air thick with that heavy plastic smell. 
“Fuck me,” Soap breathed. “You can smell secret entrances as well?”
“Oh yeah, they always smell fishy,” you smirked. 
“Jesus. Ghost’s humour is rubbin’ off on you,'' he groaned.
He had a point. Normally you weren’t one for pointless chatter, but you were in your element that day and after training so much with your new team you felt more relaxed than usual. Of course you weren’t operating under the assumption that Soap would be diving in front of bullets for you, but at the very least he had your back. 
“We’re heading underground, Ghost. See ya on the other side,” Soap noted, patting you on the shoulder just like Ghost normally would. 
You felt your tail give a slight swish against the backs of your legs. 
“Copy that, Sergeant,” Ghost confirmed.
Ghost was quiet compared to usual, focused on his targets you figured. It spurred you on to focus too. You quietly slipped forward down the stairway, nose raised in the air as you proceeded. Soap followed at your rear, quietly closing the stairway and bathing you both in almost pitch darkness. There was only a little light to see by, its source hidden round the corner. Things smelled and sounded clear, but nonetheless you braced, ready to duck and dive if you needed to. 
When you turned the corner however, there was no need for any quick exits. There was just another hallway with some candles stuck in hastily hammered in holders, the flames lazily flickering as the stale air kept them standing bolt upright. You frowned and pressed ahead, boots softly pressing into the runner carpets until you almost hit a chain, only just avoiding it as you’d caught the shine of it in the corner of your eye. 
You stuck a hand out to your left and kept Soap behind you, narrowing your eyes so that he’d know to be quiet. He caught on fast, not saying a word as you took another careful sniff around the air. Among the scent of burning wicks and aged dust there was something else, something earthy. There was a low droning sound as well now that you focused, a bassy groan that drifted through the walls.   
Hybrid, you mouthed. Attack dog. 
Soap’s eyes narrowed and he raised the pistol he’d unholstered from his side, the silencer reaching out into the hallway and past your body. You stepped off to the right and allowed him to push forward and round the corner, watching with dull interest as he shot the wolf man that had been resting by the next candle. After a soft pop sounded the man slumped off to the side and left a smear of crimson as he went, eventually thudding to the ground and rattling the chain once he reached the floor. 
“That’ll be the alarm system then,” you whispered. 
“Just him? There’s not anymore?” Soap asked, looking round warily for other signs of life. 
“Not that I can detect,” you said carefully, taking another cautious breath of air. “He’s in pretty bad shape though, probably been kept chained down here a while. Can’t imagine Razin would want the hassle of having to get by more than one hungry mouth on the way in.”
“Aye…probably not,” Soap said, lingering doubt heavy on his voice.
You turned and smiled to yourself, again wondering why the Sergeant was so afraid of your kind. He had a gun, two guns in fact - one strapped to his back. You and yours only had teeth and claws to defend yourself with. Every fight you went into was one that tipped your scales ever closer to death, yet he walked around sometimes like he was standing with the grim reaper himself when he found himself with you. 
There was no point getting caught up over it though. You advanced forward again and rounded another corner, this time greeted by muffled voices and sounds of implements working away. You getting closer. You were overwhelmed by the scent of a new person, baring your teeth at the thick coal like scent. It flooded your system and set your vision alight, peripherals shrinking as your wolf instincts came rushing forward. You were ready to attack, ears pinned back and tail sinking low. 
“Pick somethin’ up?” Soap murmured, voice sounding so loud in your sensitive ears you wanted to snarl at him. 
However, knowing your target was so close by, you silently turned instead and let Soap get a good look at your face. He seemed to visibly pale when his eyes met yours, but quickly remembered himself, raising his gun and holding his position behind you. Had you been more lucid, you’d have congratulated him for not flying off like a scared bird. 
However, you walked forward instead, sticking close to the walls and keeping yourself on high alert. It wasn’t long until you were greeted with the sight of a new entryway and the drowning scent of explosive materials. Your entire head was on fire, every little instinct screamed danger, but you followed your training and ignored the rising need to get away.You peered around instead, widening your eyes as you saw Razin right in front of you. He was working away with his back turned, too distracted by whoever he was speaking to on his tablet to be able to pay any attention to either of you. 
Soap slunk next to you and looked around, mouth set in a grim line as he sized up the target. All around him, littering his workshop were multiple prototypes, tons of different kinds of bombs that Soap would know far more about than you. The only thing you knew for sure was that you’d have to be quiet, take down the target as fast as possible - that was the only way to know none of them would go off. 
Soap gently patted your head to get your attention. Wait, he mouthed. 
You wanted to snap at him, mouth watering in anticipation of a bite, eyes narrowing as his hand drew close to your throat. However you wrenched yourself away from him and breathed out as quietly as you could, anxiously glancing between Soap and Razin as you waited for your ok.
It took every ounce of self control just to stand there. Soap didn’t look like he was in any rush to let you move. He listened to the conversation instead, jaw set and head tilted while he kept you suspended in the shadows, right on the precipice of an attack. You just wanted to go, needed to fly through the room and tear at something. 
The conversation between Razin and the deep voiced stranger on the ipad drew to a close before you lost it, ending with Razin cursing before swatting at the tablet and sending it flying. You followed the movement with your eyes and turned to Soap, almost barking with glee when he tightly nodded and gave you the go ahead to go capture your target. 
You had no clue what curses Razin was shouting when you landed on top of him, but you could hazard a guess that they were some of the worst profanities he could muster. His face scrunched in fury and his whole body flailed as he fought to get you off of him, but no matter what he did, he couldn’t shake you off. 
Your main priority was ensuring his hands couldn’t reach for anything and set something off, so as you secured yourself over him, you bit harshly into one of his arms and growled when he swatted at you with his other hand. Before he could do any real damage Soap came to your aid and wrenched Razin’s free hand behind his back, securing it in a cuff before taking the other arm from you and settling the other cuff round that one. 
“Release,” Soap commanded, voice wavering as he caught your eyes.
Your vision was almost completely darkened, indicating to the last sane shred of you that you’d gone nearly completely feral. Every limb in your body shook and your back felt like a lightning rod as the familiar instinctual tremble worked its way through you. Maddox’s voice rattled in your ear, the ghost of him ever present when you found yourself losing to the wolf. You are an attack dog, you will bite, you will kill, this is the only way to survive. Bite mutt, kill! Do what you’re meant for, dog!
“Pup,” Soap said carefully, trying to maintain eye contact. “You good?”
You growled in response, watching with displeasure as Razin continued to struggle beneath Soap. You wanted to put a stop to it. Not part of the mission, you reminded yourself, internally struggling with the angry beast inside your head. Need this one alive. 
“Pup,” Soap said again, voice a firm roar. 
“Yes,” you snarled, shaking your head and backing off. “M’fine. Lets go.”
Kill, mutt! 
You shook your head again, walking forward and dispersing any last traces of Maddox, fighting to regain control of yourself. Normally you weren’t so prone to falling back so badly on the wolf instincts, as much as you often did use them to get in the right headspace you were usually still in control of yourself.
Now you felt untethered. It felt as though any threat to you and the team had to be treated with the utmost hostility. And Razin was a threat. It had you frowning back at Soap, watching as he struggled to force Razin forward while his feet tried to plant against the floor. You growled when Soap was knocked back by him. 
Protect. Mine. Kill threat. 
You almost stopped in your tracks when the thought hit you. For once it wasn’t Maddox’s voice spurring you and forcing you to do terrible things, this wasn’t any outside voice at all. The low growl that rushed through your head like a chemical injection was your own. Normally your instincts kicked in for self preservation,your body doing whatever it needed to in order to get through a job alive. Now they were directed at Soap, more specifically, towards ending the struggling and kicking from the man he was holding. 
“I’m going on ahead,” you said, voice pitching up as you rushed forward. 
If you spent anymore time looking over at Razin and his flailing feet you were going to kill him. It wasn’t a speculation, it was a certainty. One that had you wide eyed and running terrified down the hall. 
You reached the top of the stairs in record time, pausing at the closed exit to listen out for anyone that might be coming down on the steps above. 
“Ghost, we’ve secured the target. Are we good to exfil?” you rasped, hearing Soap cursing as he manoeuvred the hallways a lot slower than you did.
“The men are finishing the last of their drinks, one of them went down already. You’ll need to take him out and get out of there as fast and quiet as you can,” Ghost supplied, voice level as usual.
“I can manage that. Soap, I’ll go find Razin’s buddy. You good to get him out?” you asked, looking back into the darkness for your answer. 
“I’m almost through the hall, fashioned a little gag for the bastard so I reckon we’ll be good on the staying ‘quiet’ part. Go ahead, Pup, clear to move,” Soap answered, voice echoing through the halls and on your comms. 
“Alright then.”
-🐺-
You were shaking terribly by the time you made it back to transport. Razin was properly secured now, hooded and gagged before being taken away to another section of the hold with an armed guard. He was safely out of view from your stabbing glare. Meanwhile Ghost and Soap ushered you toward the opposite corner, serious looks in both their eyes as they exchanged low whispers. 
Your head was filled with cloying fog. All you wanted to do, for whatever reason, was to get close to Soap, but you feared him retaliating too much to be able to do it. You wanted to make sure he was alright, but even you weren’t sure why you were so obsessed about it. It was Soap afterall, he was a highly trained SAS soldier, he was fine. 
Not to mention, when he’d seen your blood covered face come into view behind him in the safehouse, he’d almost screamed bloody murder. The last thing he needed was you to go barreling up to him. You swore you could hear his heart thumping even when you stood just across from him, it beat so loudly. It hadn’t eased much since then and getting to the plane either.
Mine. Safe? Hurt. 
Your chest held a small flame, body keeping it roaring as you anxiously wanted to check Soap over. You could smell his blood, could smell the copper tang that was corrupting the soft sage of his usual scent. It burned at your nose and caused you to whine when you got close. Ghost’s hand prevented you from getting nearer. 
“Pup,” Ghost said softly. “Pup, can you look at me?”
You tore your eyes away from Soap and dutifully looked up at Ghost. His face was still covered by his balaclava and his eyes were darkened from the black paint. You huffed as you focused on his pupils, taking in the spiced citrus and the sound of his infectiously steady pulse. 
Your panting breaths eased. 
“You did good, Pup. Kept Soap safe and took down Razin and got that guard. You did a very good job,” Ghost rumbled, petting between your ears as he normally did. “Can you come sit down for me?”
You nodded, feeling almost in a trance as you complied with his request. You sat on the solid bench next to your Lieutenant, stopping to anxiously look back at Soap, until Ghost firmly gripped your jaw and tilted your head back to him. You whined. 
“Shh, Pup. Shhh. Just give me your attention for a sec, ok?”
You gave him a little growl, but as soon as the look in his eyes hardened, you hushed up immediately. Have to be good for him, you thought to yourself. You closed your eyes for a second, and continued to work on your breathing, calming down with each evening heartbeat. Ghost watched you the entire time, never letting his gaze wander even for a second. 
“Good, Pup,” Ghost praised after a moment, making sure to pet your back and over your ears. “That’s my good Pup, listening so well. Now…Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
You froze at his question. Biting your lip when you knew he wasn’t going to let you get away with a lie. 
“Soap’s bleeding,” you said simply, finally letting your eyes drop down to the floor. “Want to know he’s ok.”
Ghost tipped your chin back up with his hands. You could see his eyebrows were raised under the mask. You desperately wanted to look away again, but Ghost wouldn’t allow it. Soap snorted from behind your shoulder, he was still standing away from you both. His nervous steps across the metal were like their own heartbeat in your ears.  
“I’m fine. The fucker bashed my nose in while he was strugglin’,” Soap explained. “A wee bit blood is nothing to get so upset over.”
You whined. You already knew logically that he was fine. It wasn’t your logical mind that was worked up though. Otherwise you’d be able to actually explain the problem to Ghost. However, as it was, you had no idea what the problem really was. All you knew was that Soap had been bleeding and you were absolutely beside yourself with worry over it. 
Ghost seemed to have an idea though. He nodded to himself and petted your head for good measure, giving you a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder before he went to his pack. You watched his movements, cataloguing every step he took, trying to work out what he was doing. Sometimes when you got too worked up you’d get sent for a sleep, injected with a cocktail of drugs to force some calm into you.
Was Ghost going to knock you out?
You watched carefully as he pulled what looked like a bottle of water and a cloth from his bag instead. He untwisted the cap and carefully wetted the cloth, not letting too much liquid flood the material before he turned back to you. 
“Stay still for me, darlin’. Keep your mouth closed,” he ordered.
You frowned, not sure what he was about to do until he began wiping at your face, smoothing the cloth over your skin until it turned red with the other men’s blood. He was cleaning you. The realisation had you untensing yourself and for a few moments longer you sat still and let Ghost work his magic until your face felt clean and light. All the grime was gone, your skin felt a little raw, but still it was better than before. 
“Soap, you trust me don’t you?” Ghost said, putting the bottle down and looking over your shoulder.
The pacing behind you stopped. 
“Not when you bring it up like that,” Soap retorted. 
Ghost rolled his eyes.
“Come sit down.”
“Why?” Soap asked suspiciously. 
“Just come.”
It took a second, but soon Soap complied, coming to rest beside Ghost. Ghost wasn’t someone to argue with, even to other humans. You saw Soap now, pupils dilating so quickly that you could feel your eyes actively adjusting to shut out light. Oh no, not again, you thought. You were losing yourself to instinct, wanting to surge forward and get closer - wrap yourself around him like a scarf. You looked away, trying to lessen his horror (and yours) as he shifted back a bit to get some distance. 
“Soap, you’re not gonna like this…but please trust me,” Ghost said, bringing you close to his armoured chest. “I need to ask you to do something.”
You gratefully wrapped yourself round him, only barely able to get your arms fully round his vest so that you could hug into the man like he was your only source of warmth. It helped. Fully shutting your eyes against Ghost’s black tac gear and trying to distract yourself from the man next to him was the next best thing to whatever your instincts were screaming at you to do. 
“Spit it out,” Soap said through gritted teeth. 
“I need you to take Pup and let them…well essentially give you a hug,” he said awkwardly, clearly unsure of how to ask.
Soap snorted out a dark laugh and you were sure if you looked up you’d see a disgusted expression. 
“I don’t think nows the time for having a fucking laugh, LT.”
“I wouldn’t suggest it if I thought you were in any danger,” Ghost said, voice taking on an edge as his body stiffened under you. “I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important either, I don’t want to hurt you. You know that.”
“Ghost, look at their fuckin’ eyes, I don’t see why-”
Soap stopped before he could finish, huffing through his sentence like he’d been asked to diffuse a bomb with five seconds on the clock. Your ears flicked as you picked up a new sound filling the space, something soft and forlorn that rattled through you.
Your own sobs, you eventually realised.
You were losing yourself again, you hadn’t even realised you'd started crying. It became more than evident as the hot tears drifted down your cheeks.
“Pup, it’s ok,” Ghost said gently, stroking your ears. “Shh, you’re ok. Why’re you cryin’?”
You shook your head, head feeling dizzier than if you’d spun in an endless circle. Words were too much. They were too human.
“Ey?” Ghost continued, smoothing his hand over your back. “What’s wrong?”
You shook your head again. Your body lurching with a growing dread. 
“If I-” Soap began, freeing on his words as he tried to figure out what to say. “If I take Pup…will it help…this?”
Ghost took a pause, trying to coax you from where you were squishing your face under his chin. 
“I reckon so,” Ghost said. 
Soap sighed, pushing you to cry harder. The only rational part left of you couldn’t be sure of why his reticence was so upsetting to you, but then again you weren’t even sure what had caused any of the upset in the first place. So many men had been hurt while you were with them, and most of the time you couldn't give a shit - the rest of the time you were happy even to watch them bleed or sometimes cry through some of the worst injuries. Now Soap had a bit of a nosebleed and you were practically choking as if you couldn’t take on air anymore. 
You couldn’t make sense of it. 
You especially couldn’t make sense of it when Soap switched places with Ghost and sat at your back, ending your little crying fit when he took you from your handler and held you to his front. Your sobs quietly retreated into your throat and your tears turned off like a tap had been yanked. Instead of breaking down, you focused on burrowing into his chest. Your body completely calming when you picked out the sound of his heartbeat and got closer to the fresh scent of sage, nuzzling your nose just shy of his collarbones. 
“What the hell…?” Soap breathed, body tensing as you finished getting comfortable. 
It took a little moment until he was able to slowly relax his muscles. His arms came first, settling around you, and then his thighs slowly dipped down. His pulse was the last to die down, beating insistently against your ears like a timpani drum before it gently became more of a wing beat.
You sighed contentedly and felt yourself getting very tired, closing your eyes just before your vision fully faded back into focus again. 
“You have no idea how much you’ve just helped,” Ghost said gratefully, voice sounding distant as you continued to float into what felt like a different plane of existence. 
“Are you gonna tell me how I helped?” Soap asked, voice sounding insistent as his heartbeat picked up again. “You tellin’ me that whenever one of us gets hurt that pup’s gonna need a bloody emotional support buddy to get through it?”
Ghost laughed throatily.
“Not likely,” he assured, leaning forward and stroking your back. “Learnt about this way back in training, but I’ve never seen it so strong so quickly - Pup’s pack bonded to us, but its not a secure bond right now. I’m guessing they got upset because they thought you being hurt and keeping your distance was like a rejection. Basically like you saying that they don’t need to be concerned about you getting hurt because you’re not part of the pack.”
“Well how was I supposed to kn-”
“You weren’t,” Ghost soothed, calming Soap down before you could properly stir again.
You hummed against Soap’s chest and frowned at his quickening heartbeat, attempting to slow it with a gentle nuzzle. Though it didn’t do much to calm him, so you soon stopped and found that worked better instead.
It was only when you went still that they resumed talking again.
“So what does pack bonding mean?” Soap asked, sounding unsure as he shifted around you. “Pup doesn’t even know that much about me and now we’re in this- a pack.”
Ghost chuckled at that, the material of his clothing loudly buzzing at your ears as he shook. 
“It’s not like a forced marriage Johnny, you don’t have to sound so frightened, it mostly just means their instincts’ll tell em’ to keep us safe. It’s probably down to all the protection work Price has had them doing while we’ve been in the beginning stages. Pup’s had a rough life, no ones ever cared for em’ like we have, even in the short time that’s been. Even when you’ve been handling Pup like a feinting nun, you’ve probably been nicer than most people they’ve met.” 
“Fuck you, feintin’ nun,” Soap spat, laughing despite himself. “You told me the other day I was doin’ well!”
“You have been doing well. Better than I thought you would,” Ghost said softly, a smile weaving its way through his voice. 
“Well enough to be in a pack apparently,” Soap huffed, absentmindedly running his hand over your back. 
You practically purred in pleasure at that, letting out a low happy sound in your throat. Soap startled, but still held onto you, hand freezing in place however. He clearly didn’t understand that the noise you were making was supposed to be something nice. 
“Why’re they growling at me?” Soap squawked. “What’d I do?”
“Relax! That’s not growling, not per se,” Ghost laughed, “It’s a good growl. Mean’s they’re happy. Untwist your knickers, you don’t wanna work Pup up again.”
“Fuckin hell…pack bonding…happy growls. What’s next? My poor heart could’ve done with a warning before having to hunt a terrorist and deal with all this,” Soap huffed. “And you say all this is because we’re nice? How bad has a life gotta be for a hybrid to wanna hug me? How’s this even helping?”
“It’s not about the hug itself. Being close like that is just letting them hear your heartbeat and get your scent. Pup knows you’re ok because you feel and smell healthy - that’s all they needed. It doesn’t help that the Branhaven arseholes condition them to surrender to their instincts on the field. It’s good when it comes to hunting people down, doesn’t help so much when they get all panicky because one of their own’s been bleeding.” 
“And they don’t train that out?”
“Wouldn’t have had to before. Like I said - we’re the only ones that’ve been nice to em’,” Ghost said, voice quietening when he said the next part. “We’re the only team that’s ever applied for guardianship in the entire time they’ve been working. They got stuck in the military when they were ten and got signed away under a DNN contract. Even though it’s only been a week, we’re all Pup has. It’s only natural for them to feel like this.” 
“What’s a DNN contract?” Soap asked.
“Do not notify,” Ghost said, the words making you whine softly  as you thought back to when it was first explained to you. “Means Pup’s parents didn’t want contact after they dropped them off. No phone calls or letters from them, no contact, no notice if they ever get killed or captured.”
“That’s fuckin’ bullshit,” Soap growled.
“Mhmm,” Ghost hummed, stroking his hand over your back again. “Such a sweet Pup too. Got us to be good to you now. Our good Pup, huh?”
You whined in agreement and settled into Soap fully, happily letting yourself drift off to thoughts of citrus and sage. Theirs, the raspy inner voice whispered - just before you could fully lose the battle to sleep. Mine. Theirs. Mine!
-🐺-
The next day, after the debrief had reached its conclusion, Soap asked Ghost if he could have five minutes with you. You’d bitten your lip, anticipating that he might want to chew you out for you’d acted with him, and sadly nodded when Ghost said he’d be waiting across the corridor in Price’s office for you. 
As soon as the door had clicked closed, you waited for the shouting to begin and wrapped your arms tightly round yourself, as if to keep your heart in your chest. Soap didn’t roar or hit the desk, or make any moves you’d been waiting for, not right away at least you’d figured. No, he gently tugged the seat in front of you out from the table and sat down across from you.
You peered over at him and felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment, still not completely past the fact you’d insisted on curling round him like a little lap dog. Things were a bit foggy from that day still. Ghost had had to explain on the way back to his that you’d succumbed to your instincts and Soap has helped you calm down, but sure enough once he had, you remembered what you’d done and felt deathly self-conscious. No matter how much Ghost had tried to insist that it was ok, you’d gone to bed that night without speaking another word.  
“Look, um…I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” Soap said nervously, arching his body down so that he could speak on your level. 
“You’re sorry?” you repeated, not sure you’d heard right. 
Did he mean to ask for an apology from you instead? You had no idea what he could possibly need to apologise for. As far as you were concerned his behaviour had been completely justified, you had acted like a crazy person. It wasn’t normal to need to sit and sniff people and hug them after they’d suffered a very common injury in the line of work you were in. Yet he still wanted to apologise to you? 
“Yeah,” Soap breathed, pursing his lips before he could explain himself. “I’ve been treating you like a threat when you haven’t deserved it. It’s not acceptable, I’m a grown man and I’ve been acting like a scared kid around you. So I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”
“Uh…” you trailed, not really sure how to respond. “Thanks?”
It wasn’t often that anyone apologised to you, especially not when they hadn’t even done anything that you deemed bad. For that reason, you were left scrabbling for something to say and unfortunately left wanting, letting the sentiment of gratitude hang in the air instead. Things were even more awkward now. 
“You don’t need to worry about yesterday as well…Ghost said you were feelin’ awkward and I-”
“It won’t happen again,” you assured, swallowing a thick lump in your throat. “I’ll get better control of myself.”
“Well, you weren’t really yourself, so…It’s fine. You had your reasons.”
It wasn’t fine. However you didn’t really want to disagree with him, so instead you nodded tightly and looked away from Soap instead. 
“I know you have your reasons for how you are with me,” you said softly. “Something to do with your scar, right?”
“How’d you…?” Soap trailed off, rubbing his thumb along the cracked keloid on his chin. 
He almost seemed to realise the answer to his own question as he did it. You nodded when his eyes widened. It was almost comical really, he seemed like he was caught doing something awful when it wasn’t even a big deal. You were used to people being distrustful of you, had had your own parents accuse you of being ready to turn into a rogue beast at any moment. Being feared wasn’t anything new.
“It’s fine,” you shrugged. 
“No, look…You should know - I don’t think you’re gonna do anything like this to me and even then that’s not really why I- It’s not- ugh fuck it,” he sighed, body growing heavy as he sat back in his chair. “My little brother was jumped by a hybrid when we were young. He was playin’ football in the street and ended up kicking the ball too far down the road. I was supposed to be watching him and I was too busy chattin’ to my friends and- well all I heard was him screamin’ bloody murder and when I got there he was knocked out and his arm had nearly been chewed clean off. I managed to get the wolf- i mean him off my brother, but then he turned and scratched me- tried to bite- I… well anyway - I got him away and my brother ended up in hospital for a long time and it was a really fuckin’ dark time for my family.”
You watched his impassioned expressions as he told his story and nodded along, wincing as he tried to use the right words to try and explain to you what had happened. He didn’t need to explain it to you, not really. He looked down right pained as he remembered back to what must have been an awful day for him. 
Now you both sat in the heavy silence of the now cavernous room. 
“I’m sorry that happened,” you said awkwardly.
“I didn’t tell you that because I wanted you to feel sorry for me,” he said in a reassuring tone. “I just wanted you to know I have some shit to work on, and I that I am trying to work on it. I don’t want you to feel any less a part of the team because of how I act. You’re just as much a part of the 141 as I am, don’t doubt it for a second.”
Your ears pinned flat to your head and your chest swelled with emotion. The drum inside your chest beat quickly out of time and you struggled for a moment, feeling a light tingling at the back of your neck. Part of you tried to convince yourself that it was all a mean trick, but just one look into his soft blue eyes told you that he was genuine. He really didn’t want you to feel bad.
“Thanks, Soap,” you murmured, fighting the lump in your throat just to speak. “That’s really kind of you.”
“Just the truth,” he grunted, trying to inconspicuously clear the emotion from his voice. “You should probably go get Ghost now, yeah? You’ve probably got some runnin’ around to do.”
You broke at that, nodding and letting your eyes clear of the growing wetness. Soap had only in the past few days started referring to your training as ‘running around’, and it was a fair way to sum it up, but no less insulting. Playfully insulting at least, the kind of thing  teammates would say. 
It made you smile then. 
“Yeah…” you laughed, slowly rising from your chair. “Best get to it.”
660 notes · View notes
wonusite · 5 months
Text
Sweet Dreams
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❝ You dream about a beautiful man nearly every time you fall asleep. After getting to know him and everything about him, you see him outside of your dreams—in a museum painting. ❞
PAIRING: joshua hong x female reader
GENRE: vampire au, reincarnation au, angst, smut
WORD COUNT: 10.1k
WARNINGS: vampire!joshua, human!reader, lucid dreaming, reincarnation, so much yearning, mentions of death, joshua is a brooding mess, protective!minghao, unprotected sex, blood play, biting, creampies
A/N: this has been long overdue, and i hope you guys like it! loosely based off this ask. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
Fate.
A simple word that holds more power and venerability than any ruler of the middle kingdom. It’s a mystifying concept that follows no rules and simply is; something that can actively be changed but not avoided. Joshua learns this late in his long life—a derailment of his own making. The lesson comes to him in the form of a fiery witch running from her death.
As a creature that’s lived in solitude since he became immortal, it’s not in his nature to be helpful. It’s why he has no interest in saving the witch from the demons that are hunting her. This, however, doesn’t stop the insolent little witch from forcing herself into his sanctuary. He fights her on it, baring his fangs while saying the most despicable and bone chilling threats to her. The young witch isn’t fazed and makes it clear that he doesn’t have a choice in the matter.
In the end, he concedes. Not because she’s powerful enough to make him obey her, but because she reminds Joshua of himself when he was desperately clinging to his own survival. Perhaps that’s the reason he becomes inexplicably drawn to her. Josh almost feels like she’s bewitched him, and the most unusual part of it all is that he doesn’t care even if that is the case.
He seeks her out after he helps her despite knowing that it can’t possibly end well. Their kinds don’t mix, and it’s doubtful that two abominations can share something as sacred and beautiful as love. Fate has never allowed it before, but Joshua is foolish enough to try to defy destiny.
Courting the witch isn’t easy. Then again, anything that involves her never is. The witch is a firm believer in being reverent to the same fates that gave her the powers she wields while Joshua couldn’t care less about the fates that turned him into a monstrosity. This creates a disconnect between them because the witch is firm that she could never love such an irreverent creature.
This hardly deters him. Joshua is relentless in his chase, and after the longest decade of his life he’s finally able to win the witch’s thorn-covered heart.
And so, even just for the briefest moments, they’re allowed to create their own destiny with each other.
Loving someone, loving her, is the most addicting feeling he’s ever felt. The love he feels for the witch surpasses even that of his first love who he was convinced he’d never forget. Being with her is the happiest Joshua has ever felt, and he naively thinks it’ll last forever.
This all comes to an abrupt end when the witch finds out that it’s his fault the demons eradicated her coven. Yes, it was before Josh had met and fell in love with her, but that doesn’t change anything. It was still him who had put her on the brink of death and gotten her family and friends killed. Twisted as it is, he doesn’t regret his actions nor would he change them if he had an opportunity to do so.
And so, the love of his life becomes his most dangerous enemy.
It hurts. More so because she discards him and his love like they never meant anything in the first place.
The witch is cutthroat in her hatred. It’s not long before the children of the moon find his sanctuary and nearly send him to meet his maker. Her hexes nearly incapacitate him, but even all her acts of revenge aren’t enough to satiate the vengeance she seeks.
Slowly, the love they grew to feel for each other becomes wilted and corroded beyond repair.
Years pass, yet the feud never dies. Joshua is almost impressed by her determination to destroy him the same way he almost destroyed her.
Hatred has replaced love by now, and it’s almost impossible for him to believe he ever loved the witch in the first place. A decade passes, then two and three until eventually an entire century goes by with the two of them feeling this burning loathing. Their detrimental feelings and behavior push both Joshua and the witch to make a vow never to love again.
But fate has other plans for them.
As time goes on, they find themselves backed into a corner—together this time. Death has returned for them in the form of faes. Neither one of them is willing to relent and give up their land to the insignificant creatures who claimed to have it first. And so, they help each other one last time.
Fighting against inferior creatures together has always been like dancing for them, and it’s easy to fall back into a love language they created. By the end of their battle, they come out victorious. The two are grateful to each other even if neither of them say it outright.
Joshua feels a familiar ache in his chest the longer he stares at the witch who was once his. Feelings he thought were long gone rush back to the surface as if they’d never left in the first place. Perhaps they never really had. He’s never been one to go against his own desires, and so he reaches out for her, craving her skin against his if even for the last time.
Their embrace is sweet, but the kiss that follows is full of passion, longing, and ardent love that seems to have been buried deep within them the entire time. It’s almost like a dream to have her like this again, and now Joshua doesn’t plan on letting her go.
But once again, fate doesn’t leave him with a choice.
Humans grow more wary of the creatures they share the world with. Many go into hiding, but Joshua makes the mistake of thinking he can blend in with his prey. A hunter of his kind has found him, and as a vampire with no coven, he’s left vulnerable. It’s even worse when the hunter and his clan discover his lover and what she is.
It was a peaceful night when they’re attacked. Escaping death doesn’t seem possible, but as always the witch assured him that she has a solution. His love makes him a promise as she casts a spell that will hide his presence. A promise that she’ll find him and reunite with him in every lifetime. He’s confused by her words, but has no time to question her as the spell takes over and dulls his senses until he’s unconscious.
If he’d known his love was going to sacrifice herself for him, he would’ve taken a million wooden stakes to the heart rather than continue existing in a world without her.
Centuries later, he’s never been able to forget her or what her presence had done to his life. Joshua is left alone in a world that now seems intolerable without his witch in it. Cruel irony reminds him that the solitude he once basked in feels suffocating now. All he’s left with is a gaping hole that constantly reminds him of how he lost his one true love.
Joshua eventually joins a coven, but they offer little comfort. At this point in his immortality, he only sticks around them out of habit. It’s not that he isn’t fond of them—he is, most of the time—but it’s not the same as having his lover by his side.
After going through the eternal test of time, Joshua still yearns for her; craves her as much as the blood that he feeds on. It’s the reason he’s spent the last two centuries looking for the one person who filled his heart with so much love.
And he’ll stop at nothing until he finds her.
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The first time it happened, you thought it was nothing more than a dream.
Which it was, but it felt different—it was different. Never in your life had you dreamt such a beautiful dream that felt so real and almost indistinguishable from reality. The most memorable part was the euphoric feeling it evoked from you.
Well, that’s not exactly right. There was one single element that had left you unable to forget the lucid dream. One that you believed was responsible for your subconscious forcing you into those dreams every time you fell asleep.
Unhealthy as it is, you chase the lucid dreams. Every night, you look forward to your sleep with the hope of once again being wrapped up in one of those lovely dreams. Any free time you’re left with is used to sleep just so you can escape to the ethereal dreamland your mind has created.
The dreams have ensnared you and make you crave and long for them as if you’re under some sort of spell. It’s become a bit of an obsession because even when you’re with other people it’s all you can think about. And yet you’re unable to let go of your obsession in spite of how unhealthy and irrational it is.
The scene in front of you is familiar, but you can’t place where you’ve seen the old castle that looks like it’s straight out of the medieval times. You step forward, feet moving on their own as you walk past the large doors. Servants run along with their head down, and you’re not sure why it makes you feel satisfied that they seem to be terrified of you.
“Y/N.”
You turn at the sound of a mellifluous voice. Once again, it’s the beautiful man who’d been visiting you in your dreams.
“Shua.” You call affectionately, running to him as he opens his arms for you.
As always, he catches you easily. You wrap your arms around his neck, softly giggling into his hair as he spins you around. “Where have you brought me this time?”
“This is where I live.” He tells you as you pull back to look at his face. “Do you like it?”
You look around again. The feeling of familiarity doesn’t go away as you inspect your surroundings. Joshua gently puts you down, but doesn’t release you from his embrace. His stare is gentle and observant, curious on how you’re going to react to what he’s showing you.
“This is really where you live?” You wonder in awe. “Are you a king or something?”
His pretty laugh makes you look back at him. Your heart leaps up into your throat when you see the fond look he’s giving you. It’s been months of being on the receiving end of his affectionate stare, but you’re not sure you’ll stop feeling bashful when you catch it.
“I am not. Does that disappoint you?”
You shake your head. “No, but it does make me wonder how old you actually are. Older than Dracula?”
All Josh can do is laugh and laugh. You’re not sure what he finds so funny, but as usual you do not get the chance to ask. The familiar pressure on your bones gets more intense with every passing moment. It’s how you know you’re on the verge of being pulled out of your blissful dream. You can’t even open your mouth to say goodbye because you’re abruptly yanked out of your subconscious before you can.
It’s always hard to keep going on with your day normally after you dream about Josh. You can never really function afterwards, not how you usually would.
“—even listening to me?”
You snap back into reality, realizing that Jeonghan has been talking to you this entire time. “Sorry. What were you saying?”
Jeonghan rolls his eyes and gives you an accusatory look that confuses you. His eyebrows are raised as he leans forward. “I was saying that Soonyoung thinks you’re fucking someone.”
“What?” You splutter, suddenly feeling extremely flustered.
“I told him there’s no way that’s true because lately you’ve been holed up in your room sleeping every chance you get!”
You manage to not choke on your spit and give your friend an indignant glare. “Both you and Soonyoung need to worry about your own sex lives.”
The gleam in his eye changes, and you realize too late that you’ve made a mistake. “Wait. Are you actually fucking someone?”
“You know I’m not!” You hiss, starting to feel embarrassed.
Clearly, Jeonghan doesn’t believe you. He stares at you before something seems to click in his head. Your nervous stare and angry pout are telltale signs of deceit. His jaw drops a bit as he lets out an affronted squeak.
“No way. That’s why you’ve been in such a good mood lately!” He says with a conniving laugh. “And here I thought that night cream I recommended is the reason you’ve been glowing lately.”
Maybe the most embarrassing part about this is not that he’s trying to discuss your sex life (or lack thereof) at the local cafe and not wine night, but the fact that this alleged glow has nothing to do with a man—not a real one, anyway. But Jeonghan doesn’t need to know that.
“You would’ve heard me if that was true.”
Jeonghan’s ears slowly turn red as he pouts in disappointment. He really hoped you’d managed to break your three month long dry spell, and he also wanted to be right. It’s almost suspicious that he isn’t because he usually is. You’ve been a little too smiley lately like you have some hidden lover.
“If you say so.” He mutters bitterly.
This would be the point where you’d usually panic since Yoon Jeonghan can never be one to let anything go if he feels like he’s right. You feel at ease though because there’s no way he could ever find out about Josh.
“By the way… you’re definitely going to be gone this weekend, right?” Jeonghan suddenly asks in a tone you recognize all too well.
You try not to gag as you nod. “Yes. I already bought the tickets and Hao is in the city setting up his apartment so I have a place to stay while I’m up there.”
Jeonghan smirks victoriously. He nods, not even trying to hide how pleased he is as he pulls out his phone. Suddenly, he’s very grateful that you and Minghao have such an interest in history. When he’s done sending a message you would definitely call sleazy, he just laughs at your disgusted expression.
“Don’t give me that look. Not all of us have to practice celibacy like you.”
“Whatever.” You scoff with a roll of your eyes. “Just keep it in your room this time. I better not find any stains on the couch when I get back.”
He only laughs at you with a promise that you can’t think of as sincere.
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“Are you playing with your food again?”
The voice sounds distant as Joshua is gently pulled out of the trance he’s used to being in now. He slow blinks, remnants of the beautiful vision still clear in his mind. Junhui’s words don’t bother him like they usually would’ve. Not when he finally feels alive for the first time in centuries. Still, he can’t control the annoyance he feels that his brother thinks this subject is something that can be joked and talked about lightly.
“You and Soonyoung are the only heathens who play with food.” Joshua’s tone is clipped, bordering on that murderous one that pops up any time someone mentions his latest obsession.
Junhui only laughs, head cocking to the side in interest. “I’m curious. Did you really find the grand love of your life, or is it just some girl who happens to look like her?”
“His obsession wouldn’t be so profound if it was a girl who merely looks like her.” Comes a voice from the top of the grand stairs.
They look up to see the oldest and the youngest of the coven coming down the stairs. Soonyoung doesn’t bother to hide his amused smirk while Minghao wears the same impassive expression he had when Joshua met him. His lack of reaction is the reason why he’s often the voice of reason in the coven, but his callous way of speaking never offers any comfort.
“Our brother is looking for the soul of his beloved—a soul that cannot be replicated nor imitated. Even if he’s to find her doppelgänger, he will not love her completely or sincerely.” Minghao says he takes a seat near the burning fireplace.
Soonyoung sits on the other end of the couch before he raises an eyebrow at Josh. He lets out a mocking snicker. “It’s giving stalker.”
As the most recently turned, their youngest has developed a proclivity for imitating the current slang. Joshua understands it (to an extent), but finds it folly. Then again, he doesn’t think its ridiculous when that person uses it.
But of course, that’s different.
Josh doesn’t bother to sneer at him for his snide remark. As a creature who hasn’t found a mate in the entire century he’s been alive, Soonyoung couldn’t possibly understand the ardent need to be close to the person chosen to be your mate.
“You still haven’t answered my question.” Junhui points out, sounding almost bored now. “Have you found her? Your one true love?”
When Joshua smiles, it’s so pretty that even Minghao can’t help but stare. “I have.”
“Are you going to turn her?”
Soonyoung’s question hangs in the air, and as much as Josh wants to hiss at him to mind his own business, he sees how Junhui and Minghao are also looking at him. Turning someone isn’t as simple as it used to be—if it could ever be considered simple. Now there were too many factors and too many risks involved.
“I have to find her physically before I can think of anything else.” Josh sighs deeply.
“Brother.” Minghao says in his serious tone. “Think of your next moves carefully. You’ve found her reincarnation, but she doesn’t remember you, and there’s no guarantee that she ever will.”
For once, the younger ones don’t say anything teasing or goading. They look at him just as solemnly as Minghao is. It’s a harsh truth that Joshua had acknowledged long ago but not fully accepted.
His love doesn’t remember him. This is a fact.
But even if she never does, he doesn’t plan on letting her go. Not again.
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“You’re unhappy.”
The observation is astute, and even though it’s been months, you can’t get used to how easily Josh can see through you. It shouldn’t have the affect on you that it does, but there’s just something about having someone know you so well that makes your heart jerk with emotion. Part of you feels insane for feeling this way because this man is just a figment of your imagination created by your subconscious.
Josh smiles placatingly when he sees your pout. He’s sure that you’re not aware that you do it, which makes it all the more cute in his eyes.
“Work hasn’t been great lately.” You say honestly, only hesitating a moment before telling him the rest. “Also... Jeonghan set me up on this blind date. Which wouldn’t be a big deal, but I haven’t been on a date in forever.”
You’re not sure why it feels like you’re saying something absolutely heart wrenching. If you had to describe it, it’s almost like you’re admitting to cheating or something similar which is fucking insane since Josh isn’t your boyfriend—or real, for that matter.
There’s a shift in his kind eyes. A cold rage settles in the depths of his dark irises that makes you feel like you’re staring an evil creature in the face. Before you can ponder it, the expression is is gone so fast that you almost think you imagined it.
“You don’t have to go.” He finally says, and you wonder if he actually sounds like he’s pleading or if it’s just something your subconscious is hoping for.
A teasing smile stretches your lips. “Yeah? Should I just stay here with you, instead?”
Joshua wishes he could say yes. Stay with me and never leave my side again. The words are on the tip of his tongue, and even though he’s dying to say them, he knows he shouldn’t. In this lifetime and your previous one, he had to be patient when courting you. Clearly some things never changed.
“Don’t look so excited.” You joke when you see him hesitate.
His laugh is pretty and soft. You’re not sure why the sound comforts you in a way that almost feels familiar. As if that’s the one sound that could take away any horrible feeling you’ve ever experienced. The longer you listen to the dulcet sound, the more it makes your heart ache for a reason you can’t understand. It’s a type of yearning that feels deeper than the normalcy of seeing him every day.
“I wish you weren’t a dream.”
Joshua’s laughter dies down and the smile slips off his face at hearing your words. You almost regret saying them, but it’s too late to take them back. Not that you would since they’re the absolute truth. He knows you better than most of your friends do, and it’s hard not to feel this intense affection for him. The crazy part of it all is that you can literally feel how much he adores you too.
“Maybe you’re my dream.” Josh’s smile is full of longing and sadness.
Before you can respond, you’re abruptly pulled out of the dream by the blaring sound of a car horn. You startle awake, bleary vision belatedly registering that you’re now in the city. Minghao looks at you with wide eyes, a startled laugh slipping past his lips. “Are you okay?”
You nod wearily, taking a moment to shake of the intense emotions your dream had left you with. It’s clear that Minghao doesn’t fully believe you, but he doesn’t press the subject and keeps driving toward museum.
Being at the museum doesn’t help you as much as you hope. The artifacts and paintings are intriguing, but your irritating mind only keeps associating everything with Josh. He’s always talked like someone from another time so looking at ancient items and old paintings naturally makes you keep picturing his face.
“For someone who kept begging me to clear my schedule so we could come here, you don’t look very excited.”
You give Minghao a guilty look because you know how busy he is. “Sorry. I’m just kind of distracted.”
“And why is that?”
It’s not that you don’t trust Minghao. You do, but you can’t tell him that you’re infatuated with a man who shows up in your dreams.
“I haven’t been sleeping well.”
Your friend raises an eyebrow at you. As usual Minghao sees right through your half-truth. “You’ve been having nightmares?”
“Not exactly.” You say. The resolve to keep your secret quickly dissolved when Minghao gives you a look that somehow always compels you to do what he wants. “I can’t sleep because I keep dreaming of a guy.”
“A guy?” Minghao raises his eyebrows in a way that reminds you of Jeonghan.
“It’s not like that.” You say, skin heating up in embarrassment. “I don’t even think he’s real. He just keeps appearing in my dreams, and I feel crazy every time I think about him.”
Minghao doesn’t laugh or tell you you’re crazy. Instead he looks at you with a sharpened gaze that looks like it holds a certain amount of concern and something else you can’t discern. If his heart was capable of beating, his heart rate would’ve spiked at the information you told him.
You’re vague in your description (which was impressive because his gift is powerful enough to get people to admit to murder), but it’s enough to have his mind reeling. Is it possible that you’d fallen into the clutches of an incubus? Minghao isn’t overly fond of humans, but you’re different. He can’t let you become the prey of such a lascivious creature.
“I have some tea that’s good for sleeping." He says as normally as he can as you two walk along the museum. “When we get back to my place, I’ll give you some.”
You nod silently, not entirely sure if his teas will help with your lucid dreaming. Even if they did, it’s not like you want to stop seeing this imaginary man that makes you feel more loved than you ever had. But there’s a part of you that knows you can’t keep sleeping with the hopes of seeing Josh again.
The inner turmoil you’re feeling is interrupted when Minghao pulls you to the section he’d been dying to see from the beginning. His laughter immediately makes you come back down to earth. It’s not like your friend never laughs, but this one is full and louder than you’ve ever heard it. You’re not sure why he finds the painting of a duke so funny. Just as you’re about to question him, you see the painting and feel the world around you come to a stop.
It feels like your heart stopped beating and dropped down to your stomach. Your usually quiet mind is reeling, trying to fathom what you’re seeing. There’s no way.
The painting is of a man, but not just any man.
It’s Josh.
Your Josh.
You keep blinking as if another face will appear in the very old painting. If you felt crazy before, the feeling worsens the longer you stare at the oils that form the face you’ve come to memorize and love. The description of the painting says the man born in 1714 was a famous duke notorious for starting a rebellion against the crown.
“So this is the only painting of the Hong Jisoo?” Your friend cackles, but you’re not sure what’s so funny.
It’s good that he’s so distracted by whatever it is he finds so funny because you’re about two seconds away from breaking down. How is it possible that some duke from centuries ago was appearing in your dreams? Is it possible that you’d somehow seen his image before and projected it into your dreams? You don’t remember even reading about him, and it only makes you feel more crazy.
Back at Minghao’s luxury apartment, you can’t stop thinking about that stupid painting of Hong Jisoo. How is it possible for you to dream about a person that was alive centuries ago? It doesn’t make sense, and the more you think about it, the more freaked out you feel.
“Here.” Hao says as he hands you a warm mug of tea. “Drink it to see if it helps. I’ll give you some to take home if you like it.”
You thank him, really hoping this puts an end to your unhealthy dreams.
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“It’s not working!” Josh growls angrily. “There’s something blocking me from seeing her. I’m sure of it.”
Soonyoung and Junhui roll their eyes. Josh has been complaining about not being able to transcend into his true love’s subconscious for the last three hours, and it’s starting to drive them insane. It’s not that they’re not sympathetic, but it was quite literally the only thing the older vampire could talk about. Not to mention the fact that after months of visiting his mate every day, he did nothing to figure out where she was—a total waste in their opinion.
Before Josh can keep repeating the same frustrated things he’s been griping about all morning, they hear the door open and the familiar sound of boots clacking against the marble floor.
“Minghao!” Soonyoung cries when the oldest of the coven walks into the living room. “Finally, you’re back! Jisoo hasn’t stopped whining about his mate since you left! You need to put a stop to him!”
Minghao sets down his suitcases with an exhausted sigh. “What’s going on?”
“He claims there’s a barrier preventing him from entering his mate’s subconscious.” Junhui explains, sending a skeptical look Joshua’s way. “Which is impossible because a mere human isn’t capable of blocking his gift.”
While that is true, there are certain things humans have done for centuries to ward off creatures of the night. However, it is strange that there’s a sudden block to his mate’s subconscious after being left vulnerable for so many months.
“Perhaps your mate has realized that you’re a nefarious creature and not just a figment of her imagination.” Minghao muses as he goes to sit at his usual place by the fire. “If that’s the case, she may have sought out a witch to block her psyche from unsavory visitors.”
The dark look Josh sends his way is amusing to the rest. Maybe it’s cruel to disregard the anguish his brother clearly feels, but being empathetic has never been one of Minghao’s character traits. Even so, some of the humanity he once had still lingers within him.
“However, if you truly wish to find her I can contact Jihoon—”
“No.” Josh snaps immediately. The growl in his voice is menacing as his eyes darken. “I’ll find her on my own.”
The silence that follows is tense until Soonyoung breaks it by insisting on seeing pictures from Minghao’s trip. As always, he obliges to the youngest’s request, tossing his phone over without taking his eyes off Josh.
“If that were possible you would have already found her.”
It’s a frustrating truth. He hadn’t been able to figure out anything that would help him find you because he didn’t want to scare you off. Now he regrets playing the part of a gentleman because it feels like he’s lost you all over again.
“Is this the human you’re always talking about?”
Usually, Josh doesn’t take any interest in humans aside from his meals, but the way Minghao’s sharp gaze switches to an almost fond one intrigues him enough to look at the screen Soonyoung is holding out toward them.
It’s like his heartbeat comes back to life when he sees a video of a beautiful girl staring at one of his old swords.
“Yes. That’s—”
“Y/N.”
Minghao looks at Josh in surprise. He’s incredulous, but it’s soon replaced by horror when he realizes why his brother is looking at the phone with a predatory gaze.
“You…” Minghao’s icy tone makes the younger ones still. They recognize the murderous intent behind that tone instantly. “You’re the one who’s been invading her dreams.”
Josh snarls at his oldest friend. “You’re the one responsible for the barrier.”
It’s like watching two animals raising their hackles at one another. Except both of them are capable of destroying each other and everything around them without caring.
Junhui is quick to step in, holding a firm hand to Minghao’s chest. “She’s his mate.”
It’s meant to make him see reason, but all it does is anger Minghao.
“A mate that he betrayed time and time again!” His words make them all flinch. “You’re the reason those hunters found her and burned her alive!”
Never has a silence so thick and tense surrounded them before. It’s a low blow to bring up Josh’s greatest pain in such a way, but Minghao is beyond seeing reason at this point.
“Both of you need to calm down.” Soonyoung says as he stands in the middle.
“Do you have feelings for her?” Josh demands, not understanding why the person who had helped him search for his mate’s reincarnation for centuries was suddenly acting this way.
“She’s a pure soul.” Minghao says, sounding a little defeated. “One that doesn’t deserve to become a monster like us.”
It’s tense and silent again, but this time the air feels different. All four of them knew how painful and awful it was to turn. Back then, they had been the unlucky ones to survive an attack when they were meant to be someone’s food. Minghao wouldn’t wish that on anyone, least of all you.
“Let her decide.” Soonyoung breaks the silence, being reasonable for the first time in a long time. He looks to Josh, gaze as serious as ever. “If you really love her, tell her the truth and let her decide what to do.”
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Minghao has always been an enigma. He’s private to the point where you sometimes feel like you don’t know him at all. It’s why you’re so surprised when he invites you over to his main house which is basically synonymous with prohibited. He never invites anyone there, not even Jeonghan who’s known him longer than you have.
Your friend’s home is expectedly opulent and beautiful, but there’s also this ominous air surrounding it. Minghao remains silent as he leads you to the entrance. His somber attitude isn’t exactly uncharacteristic. He’s naturally quiet and serious, but right now he almost seems angry. You can tell his mind is far away, light years away even.
Before you can think to question him, he leads you to the living room and sits you down on one of the couches. His cold hands don’t move from your shoulders even after you’re seated. You look up at him in curiosity because he seems to be contemplating something.
“Don’t be angry with me.” His tone is softer than you’ve ever heard it, and you have to wonder what he’s done for him to plead with you like this. (Xu Minghao does not beg.)
Hands fall from your shoulders as Minghao side steps out of the way. Everything goes in slow motion from then on. He’s stepped out of the way to reveal a man who you recognize very well. Your heart jumps and starts to beat erratically as you take in his ethereal features.
What’s happening feels like a more intense version of what happened at the museum. Minghao’s friend(?) looks exactly like Josh. He even looks at you like Josh does.
“Y/N.”
The organ in your chest throbs at the sound because it’s so soft and pretty, just like it is in your dreams. He sounds so similar to Josh that you feel insane for wanting to run into this man’s arms like you always do with Josh in your dreams.
Your mind is a beat behind, and it’s only after this stranger called your name that you realize Minghao had apologized to you before he appeared. When you look over to your friend, he’s observing you carefully in a way you can’t understand.
“What’s going on? What is this?” You ask, feeling like you’ve been set up.
There’s a thick silence, and just when you contemplate on getting up to leave, the unknown guy falls to his knees in front of you.
“Please forgive me.”
Your eyes practically pop out of your head at the unsolicited apology. “I– What?”
The silence is uncomfortable, and you can only look back to Minghao for an explanation.
“You’ve seen Jisoo before—in your dreams.” Minghao says slowly as if it pains him to tell you.
Jisoo?
“When you told me that a man kept reappearing in your dreams, I thought you were being preyed on by an incubus.” Minghao chuckles bitterly. “But I was a fool not to see that the truth was much worse.”
“Incubus?” You whisper incredulously. “You mean those demons that fuck people while they’re asleep?”
Neither men react to your crude words. They’re looking at you solemnly as if Minghao didn’t just say something completely insane. None of it makes sense nor does it provide you with the explanation you demanded.
“You can’t be serious! Incubuses—“
“Incubi.” Minghao corrects you. He regrets it as soon as he sees the dark look on your face.
“—don’t exist.” You finish through gritted teeth.
“They’re not the only demons running rampant on this earth.” Minghao says as he shares a look with the man who is still kneeling in front of you. “Just look at the monster in front of you and you’ll know what I’m saying is true.”
This Jisoo guy looks nothing like a monster. Not even as he’s giving your friend the most withering glare you’ve ever seen.
“Don’t give me that look. I brought her here so she can know the truth.”
At this point, you don’t know if they’re friends or enemies with the way they’re glowering at each other. And you still don’t know what truth they’re talking about, either.
“Jisoo has been trying to find you for centuries.” Minghao finally says, eyes softening just the tiniest bit when he looks back at you.
You don’t say anything because it all sounds like some crazy lie. Minghao isn’t the type to pull pranks, but there’s no other logical explanation for what’s happening. And yet, it also isn’t possible that he could know what the man from your dreams looked like and somehow find someone who looks exactly like him for his prank.
“We’re vampires.” Jisoo says, voice soft and comforting. “I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true.”
“Prove it.”
Your words come out before you can stop them. It’s not what you meant to say (not right away, anyway), but you don’t try to backtrack. On the off chance that they’re not pulling some elaborate prank, you need to know that you’re not crazy for kind of believing what they’re saying.
Minghao and Jisoo are looking at you with wide eyes, but the challenging look on your face doesn’t waver. They both know you enough to realize you aren’t going to believe them until they prove that they’re not lying.
Jisoo grins, but it seems bitter in a way. “Okay. Just… don’t be scared.”
You raise an eyebrow when his smile stretches further. It’s not until you see four of his teeth elongating into literal fangs that you feel your pulse start to race. His eyes have darkened into an inhuman shade of black that reminds you of a demon. Now you understood what Minghao meant when he called Jisoo a monster.
But that also means…
In a panic, you look to your friend. Much to your horror, he too is bearing those monstrous characteristics now. Dark eyes and fangs that make them look like the monsters they claim to be. It feels like you’re in one of your lucid dreams, and in the back of your mind you hope that’s what this is.
“Did you bring me here to kill me?” You’re surprised that your voice comes out as calm as it does, and even though you’re terrified, you can’t react how you know you should be.
“We would never hurt you.” Jisoo says, features slowly reverting back to normal. “No matter what, I won’t let anyone or anything bring you harm.”
It’s crazy that he’s promising you this with what feels like genuine sincerity, and it’s even crazier that it makes your chest warm with affection. You press your lips together, trying to make sense of how any of this is actually possible.
“You’re the reincarnation of Jisoo’s true love.” Minghao breaks the heavy silence. “He’s been searching for your soul since your untimely death.”
“That’s why you came into my dreams.” You whisper, not sure how to feel about this alleged truth.
“Yes.” Jisoo says, voice soft as ever. “I called myself Josh since it’s a modern name. You can still call me that if you wish.”
You stay silent, trying to deal with the onslaught of emotions you’re feeling without revealing any on your face. It’s hard, but you manage as you look back at your friend. “And you knew about this the entire time?”
“I didn’t know he’d been invading your dreams.” Minghao says honestly. “If I had—”
Minghao cuts his sentence short, and you can tell he’s trying his best to keep his emotions in check. It’s clear that he doesn’t like the idea of you being the reincarnation of Josh’s true love. You don’t understand why he brought you to meet him if that’s the case.
“Minghao.” Josh’s tone takes a threatening tone that you never thought him capable of emitting.
“Tell her.” Minghao says, clearly unfazed by Joshua’s sudden malicious attitude. “She has a right to know the truth before you think you can spend the rest of eternity with her.”
It’s silent for a moment before you see Josh’s shoulders slump. He looks slightly defeated and nervous. Seeing him in distress makes you uncomfortable, and you have to wonder if these are your actual feelings or something beyond your control.
“I first met you five years after I was first turned.” He starts, eyes begging for understanding. “You were running from a clan of demons who murdered your coven.”
The air is tense. You can feel your heart start to throb with hurt that you can’t place. A familiar burning sensation starts to poke at the back of your eyes, but you can’t understand why. “You saved me?”
Minghao clears his throat, eyes threatening.
“Unwillingly.” He admits, head hanging a little lower. “I was content in my solitude, and helping a witch didn’t sound appealing to me.”
“He also didn’t want to help a witch that belonged to the coven he helped exterminate.”
Minghao’s blunt statement makes your blood run cold. There’s a strange feeling that manifests itself in your chest. It’s an odd mixture of resentment, anger, and heartbreak. The feelings are familiar yet foreign. You feel the tears fall from your eyes before you can even think to hold them back. It’s all new information, but something in your bones recognizes the hurt and devastation.
“You killed my family.” The words aren’t yours, but in a strange way it feels like they are. “You almost killed me.���
“It was before I fell in love with you.” Josh sounds defeated. “Back then I was only concerned with my own survival, and I was a fool to let it get in the way of my love for you.”
Again, the air becomes tense. It makes Minghao almost regret doing this, but you ultimately have to know the truth. All of it.
“Tell her how you got her killed.”
More tears keep spilling from your eyes, and you can’t fathom the fact that they don’t feel like yours. A gentle hand wipes them away. Through blurry vision you can see Josh looking pained as he gently cradles your face in his large hand.
“I refused to go into hiding after the humans started to become more wary of our existence. Because of that, you and I were attacked by a group of hunters.” Josh feels a pain he hasn’t in centuries just talking about this to you of all people. “You protected me with your magic. I don’t know why you saved a wicked creature like me instead of yourself, but I really wish you hadn’t.”
The tears have stopped now, but Josh’s thumb is still gently caressing your face. His touch is cold yet comforting. You let out a shaky sigh, not sure what to do with all the information you’ve been given.
“This is why Minghao feels that I don’t deserve you, and maybe he’s right. But I’ve always been a selfish creature which is why I can’t give you up. Not in this lifetime or any other.”
Josh says it tenderly, but somehow you feel like you’ve become his prey.
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Sometimes you wonder if letting Josh get so close to you is a mistake. Minghao seems to think it is even if he doesn’t tell you outright. Still, at least he’s supportive of your decision (as much as he can be, anyway). In spite of the fact that you now know the man of your dreams is a dangerous predator, you don’t feel unsafe when you’re with him. There’s also the fact that you can literally see the love he has for you every time you look at him.
Giving into him is the easiest thing you’ve ever done. It feels natural and right, especially since he’s so sweet to you. You feel yourself fall harder every time you’re with him. He knows you better than anyone and treats you like you’re his everything.
Your relationship feels completely surreal and fast paced, but in an odd way it also feels like it’s not fast enough. The feeling has something to do with your past life you’re sure. After all, Josh had been waiting centuries for you to reincarnate.
He must’ve been so lonely.
You suck in a quiet breath as the thought comes to you, one that feels like it came from deep in your subconscious and is not entirely yours. Josh’s eyes snap open at the sound. He’s looking straight at you from where he has his head in your lap.
“What’s wrong, darling?”
Unlike Minghao, Josh doesn’t have the power of coercion, but you’re still unable to lie to him. (Unwilling is a better term, but, details.)
“Did you really not have another lover after I died?” Your question isn’t accusatory, and part of you hopes he says yes. “Like you never even hooked up with someone else in three centuries?”
Josh’s airy laughter makes your chest warm. He brings your intertwined hands to his lips, placing a tender kiss on the back of yours. “If you do not believe me, I shall bring Minghao and have him use his gift on me.”
He’s teasing you, but you also know he’s dead serious. It shouldn’t thrill you so much that he’s willing to do just about anything for you—even subject himself to Minghao who still harbors a bit of a grudge towards him.
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, I just…” You let out a quiet sigh. “You must’ve been really lonely.”
The way you look heartbroken and guilty isn’t satisfying, but it is alleviating somehow. You truly haven’t changed. The beautiful, kind soul he fell in love with remains intact, and he can’t be more grateful for that.
“At first I was. Then I met Minghao and joined his coven. They made it more bearable.”
You bring the hand that’s not attached to Josh’s to his head and run a gentle hand through his hair. “It must’ve been hard.”
Josh only offers you a hum. He can’t deny that it was, but he also doesn’t want to keep making you feel bad with all the details. That would have to be for another time.
“How many dreams did you invade before you finally found me?” You suddenly ask, wondering just how many psyches he had to go through over the course of 300 years.
“None.” His smile is a little bitter. “I’m not a incubus, so I can only enter your subconscious.”
The confused look on your face makes him let out a quiet laugh. It’s so innocent that it’s hilarious. Especially because you don’t remember that the restriction to his gift was your doing.
“Every time I tried to use my gift, I couldn’t. That’s how I knew you hadn’t been reincarnated yet. As soon as you were born I was able to tell, but I still couldn’t get into your psyche until you were ready to let me in—this is all curtesy of you, of course.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you.” He laughs. “Because I can’t dream, you bestowed this gift on me so I would be able to experience a dreamlike state again. Since you didn’t want the bloodthirsty heathen that I was back then to invade the minds of unsuspecting humans, you put all these limitations on my gift.”
His laugh is cute as he reminisces. It makes you smile too until you think of something.
The other day, Josh had mentioned he used to feed off of you in his past life because it tasted different and apparently it was like a kink for both of you. It freaked you out at first, but lately you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Honestly, the more the image plagued your mind, the harder it was not to feel turned on by it. You wonder if it would hurt and if you would like the hurt.
“Do you want to feed on me?”
If Josh’s heart was capable of beating, he has no doubt it would’ve been harshly pounding against his rib cage. He slowly gets up, feeling his cock throb and his throat itch.
“Darling—”
“You’ve never done it, and I was wondering if it was something you want to do.”
Of course he wanted to do it. Your scent is mouthwatering, and he just knows you taste divine. Up until now he hadn’t brought it up because he didn’t want you to think that’s all he wanted. All you two have done this past month is share some kisses, and that was perfectly fine. If that’s all you were willing to give him he’s gladly take it so long as you let him be part of your life.
Josh swallows thickly as he contemplates his answer. While it sort of sounds like you’re offering, he can’t assume anything. Plus he doesn’t want to seem like the monster Minghao told you he is.
When you see him hesitate, you make a decision that really isn’t all that hard for you. With an enticing smile, you tilt your head the slightest bit and offer your neck to him. “Bite me.”
In a split second, Josh pulls you on his lap so you’re straddling him. You gasp quietly when he sits you directly on his hardening cock. His eyes are dark like on the day he revealed himself to you. In the back of your mind, you know this is a dangerous game you’re playing, but you don’t feel one shred of regret or fear.
“I’ll be gentle.” He promises, voice breathy and needy.
Josh trails gentle kisses up and down your neck with patience that you find impressive. His fangs tease the tender skin as he opens his mouth slightly, and it’s almost like you can feel it throb in anticipation. With one last sweet kiss, Joshua sinks his teeth into your skin until you can feel a stabbing pain.
You gasp out a moan at the feeling. The pain lasts a second before you feel it rapidly fade. It’s replaced by images that invade the forefront of your mind. Memories that you don’t remember rush forward as if they were aching to be freed from the depths of your mind. There’s so many, and in spite of the fact that they pass through your mind quickly, you see every one of them.
When you come back down to reality, Josh is still drinking from you. He groans into your skin, reluctantly pulling away and licking the puncture wound he’s left behind. Josh continues to press kisses along your skin and whispered praises that you can’t help but melt into him.
“Jisoo.” You breathe out softly.
Joshua freezes when he hears what you’ve called him. He pulls back, eyes wide as he takes in the way you’re looking at him. Your gaze has always been full of affection, but now it’s full of ardent love that reminds him of the way you looked at him all those centuries ago.
“I’ve missed you.”
“Y/N…” Josh sounds breathless as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing.
“I’m sorry it took me this long to remember.” You murmur as your bring a hand up to caress his cool cheek. “But I guess it’s only fair since you left me first.”
“It’s my biggest regret.” Josh says honestly, grip tightening on you.
You hum, trailing your thumb over his lips. He opens his mouth the slightest bit so you can touch his fangs just like you used to do once upon a time. Goosebumps cover your skin at the familiarity of it all. The feelings in your chest deepen impossibly as you replay all the memories that slowly keep coming to mind. You thought it would be impossible to love Josh any more than you already did, but once again you were proven wrong.
You let out a shocked squeak when he pulls you closer to him. His face is shoved into the side of your neck that he didn’t bite, breathing in your addicting scent. “I was so afraid that you wouldn’t remember.”
“If you wouldn’t have been such a gentleman and bitten me sooner it wouldn’t have taken me so long.” You laugh, hugging him tighter.
The two of you stay like that until you shift and realize you’re still sitting on his hard cock. In a flash, the hot memory of Josh ravishing you back then goes straight to your cunt. You lick your lips and decide that you both have been waiting long enough to be with each other again.
“I’m impressed you kept your chastity just for me.” You purr into his ear, gently grinding down on his cock. “Such a loyal lover until the end.”
Josh doesn’t hesitate to take you to bed, cock aching to be inside you once again. He’s gentle when he finally gets you naked, eyes full of desire and love. “So fucking pretty.”
A breathy moan escapes you when his cold hands start to caress your body. His lips trails your neck, gently teasing you with his sharp teeth. Your skin heats up at the attention, and you feel like your floating by the time Josh gets his dick out to finally give you what you’ve been wanting.
“I missed you so much.” He groans as his throbbing cock slowly eases past your wet folds.
You moan along with him, hands finding his to lace your fingers together. “Missed you too, my love.”
Josh’s cock twitches inside you when he hears the pet name come out of your pretty little mouth. His leaking tip brushes against your cervix as your legs wrap around his hips. His pace is slow at first, trying to savor the feeling of your hot, tight cunt wrapped around him. He buries his face into your neck, licking and biting at the skin as his thrusts start to get tougher and deeper.
Your moaning is loud, and you’re amazed that he still knows which angels to hit after so much time. It’s like you’re seeing stars when Josh gently bites at your skin. He does it teasingly until you’re begging him to bite you again.
“Stop teasing.” You whine wantonly, hips bucking up to meet his thrusts.
His chuckle is low and has your pussy clamping down on his cock, drenching it in your arousal. You can’t remember the last time you were so turned on. It hasn’t been long, but it already feels like you’re about to come.
“Seeing you fall apart like this is my favorite thing.” You can feel his sinister smirk against your neck. “It’s been too long since I last saw it.”
Josh lets go of one of your hands to bring a thumb to your clit. He starts to rub slow circles on the sensitive nub as his thrusts grow more ravenous. You cry out in pleasure when his thick cock hits your sweet spot roughly. Your back arches in pleasure as you feel your juices start to coat his heavy balls.
“Never letting you go again.” Joshua growls lowly, more to himself than you. “All mine.”
With his possessive declaration, he sinks his fangs into your neck for a second time. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you violently come all over his big cock.
“Fuck!” You cry out, hips moving against his arms he continues to fuck you through your high.
He’s licking at your open would now, sharp thrusts angled just right to have you on the cusp of another orgasm. Joshua pulls back, pink lips painted scarlet with your blood. He looks ravenous, and you think you might actually come again from how hot he looks.
“That’s it, darling.” Josh sounds insatiable. “Cream all over me.”
It’s not long before the sight of you completely fucked out triggers his own orgasm. Thick ropes of cum shoot inside your pulsing walls, painting them white with his seed. His moans are as pretty as you remember, and they mix in with your perfectly as he fucks his cum deeper inside you.
“Fuck me again.” You pant out, still longing for the second orgasm he was coaxing out of you.
Josh’s smirks as he flips you over on your front. “Still as insatiable as ever, darling.”
You look back at him with a laugh. “Like you’re any better. So hurry and fill me up again.”
You’ll never get sick of the feeling of his cold skin on yours as he grips your ass. Josh’s large hands rub and squeeze before you feel his throbbing cock tease your messy cunt. You let out a needy whine, tilting your hips up more to offer yourself to him.
“Such a needy little thing.” Joshua murmurs in that mean but sweet tone only he was capable of having.
“Only for you, my love.” You mewl, pussy throbbing at the thought of him splitting you open again.
As is his style, Josh slowly pushes his fat cock into your hot cunt, making you feel every inch of him. Then, in a split second he shoves the rest in like he can’t wait to be inside you any longer. The jolt of pleasure and slight sting of the stretch was enough to tip you over the edge for a second time.
You muffle your cry of pleasure in the sheets, fingers clinging to the soft cotton as your pussy clenches down on Josh’s cock, making him feel even bigger inside you. He groans from behind you, loving how your juices coat his cock as if you’re claiming it as yours.
“Fuck, sweetheart. Can you do that for me one more time?”
It’s more of a rhetorical question because in the next second his fingers are digging into your hips as he pulls his cock all the way out before shoving it back into your needy pussy with a sharp thrust. You can feel your body tremble as your pussy grips his cock like a vise.
“So fucking tight.” He groans, voice dripping with lust.
“Fuck me!” You moan, pushing back on his cock with insatiable need.
At your desperate demand, Josh sera a brutal pace. He fuck you hard and rough, leaking tip hitting your sweet spot over and over again until all he can hear is lewd squelching and skin slapping. His hips slam against your ass, obsessed with the way your sweet crema coats his cock. You cry out his name as his heavy balls slap against your throbbing clit.
Josh is pounding you into the mattress, cock splitting you open deliciously. You’re so addicted to the feeling that you can’t help but spur him on. “Don’t stop!”
You cry out in ecstasy when he does exactly as you ask. He pounds his cock against the spot inside you that has you seeing stars. Your fingers grips the sheets as you bounce your ass back to meet his thrusts desperately.
“You’re close again, right, baby?” Josh’s voice is teasing. He doesn’t need to ask, though. He knows you are because he knows your body.
You’re moaning and shaking with overwhelming pleasure. All you can do is nod as you bring your hand down between your bodies to rub your aching clit. With all the stimulation from your fingers and his cock, you fall over the edge once again. Your body tenses as you moan out Josh’s name with ecstasy. The excess of your orgasm drips down Josh’s cock, staining it and marking it as yours.
With one last thrust, he shoots his hot cum inside you, moaning your name like a mantra. He sloppily fuck it back into you before pulling you flush against his chest. You two collapse back on the bed with Josh holding you closely as if he thinks you might disappear.
Slowly, you turn around with his cock still inside you. Joshua’s eyes are sparkling as he looks at you. “How are you feeling?”
“Amazing.” You breathe out blissfully. “And not just because you’ve stuffed me full.”
His cock twitches inside of you, and you can’t help but let out an endeared laugh. Your chest is warm as he hugs you closer to him, lips gently skimming over your puncture wound.
“Jisoo.”
He hums against your neck, pulling back to look you in the eyes.
“I was so afraid when I first died.” You confess, feeling him tense. You’re quick to pull him closer and caress his cheek. “Afraid that I’d be reborn and you wouldn’t be there when I was.”
Josh swallows thickly and comes to cup the hand that’s still brushing over his cheek. “I’ll never leave you alone again.”
“I know. Once you turn me, we’ll have the rest of eternity together.”
It all feels too good to be true, but you know that this is reality and not just another one of your sweet dreams.
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