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kaijutegu · 3 months

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Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views

Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:

That is not what a happy gator looks like.

That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.

Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.

Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)

So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!

Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.

How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!

Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.

For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?

Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.

By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.

Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:

It is doing a threat display.

It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.

It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)

youtube

It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.

There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.

In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.

It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)

Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator

So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.

Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)

Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.

As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.

Why Should I Listen To You?

Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?

Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!

But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.

Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:

Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets

The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt

Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk

Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet

Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang

Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)

Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson

Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul

Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.

#reptiblr #alligator #crocodile #Youtube

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tyunni · 2 months

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┈➤ I LIKE YOU SO MUCH!!! (when ENHYPEN like you...)

enhypen masterlist | library

genre: fluff, fluff, fluff! warnings: i'm not sure if any specific gender is mentioned but keep in mind i do tend to usually write fem!reader, enha r kinda losers, mentions of being drunk in jakes part, isnt proofread so if you see any mistakes.... oh well! wc: 2.6k+

a/n: good lord, i haven't written anything in MONTHS so i'm a bit rusty 😭 i started writing maknae line first im p sure you can tell i put more effort in them and then i started getting tired, sorry😭😭😭

☆ — LEE HEESEUNG

who would've thought the cool, the chill, the awesome lee heeseung would end up being such a loser. a lovestruck, foolishly in love loser.

your fingers lightly grazed his hand when you walked past him in the hallway today, a touch that lasted a mere second, yet heeseung's heart exploded, and so did his friends' group chat when he boasted about your interaction like you had just asked his hand in marriage. he knows being lovesick is lame, but so what?! he can't help that he melts into a pink puddle of adoration whenever you make small talk, or when he closes his eyes an image of you pops into his head and makes his palms feel sweaty. yes, he feels his knees go weak at the mere mention of your name, and he's willing to endure his younger friends teasing him every time they spot you hanging out with your own group of friends.

so what if you're the only thing on his mind every second of his day. it's completely normal to make playlists for your crush, giggle, and roll around in your bed when you let the lyrics sink in and fill your head with the thoughts of the one you desire.

it's also totally normal of him to write down little compliments on a piece of paper and put them on your desk when you're not looking. he giggles like a little girl when you open the note and read not even a third fraction of what heeseung truly thinks of you and wishes to tell you one day. his smile grows wider when you finally read the initials written on the note, LHS, and you look over to his desk with your cheeks dusted pink, widened eyes looking into heeseung's.

(rest of the members under the cut!!)

☆ — PARK JONGSEONG

jay is very fond of you, he accepted that quite quickly. you're cute. he likes cute stuff, that's something new he has discovered since he started to fancy you.

"jay, are you serious?" - riki turned towards the older with a blank face, tired of his friends new shopping addiction, - "you have like 4 hello kitty stuffed toys in your bedroom, you don't need another one."

ah, innocent, naive riki. he doesn't know having a crush makes one forget about any form of rationality and make every decision without giving it another thought. jay is the number one victim of the 'everything reminds me of them' disease, he feels every wrinkle of his brain smoothen whenever he thinks of you, so it's not a surprise that he can't control his hand as he swipes his credit card and buys himself another plushie with a lovestruck grin on his face.

"are you even listening to me?" - the younger complains, jabbing jay's arm with his elbow to get at least a little reaction out of him. if anything else but you were on jay's mind this would've worked and he would've scolded riki by now, talking his ear off about how annoying he is, clicking his tongue and rolling his eyes at his childishness. but it doesn't work.

"you're such a cheeseball, y/n has made you soft, jay, she's ruining you!"

but riki's words fall on deaf ears the second jay's eyes land on another cute stuffed animal that had reminded him of you as he grabs his friend's arm roughly and drags him into yet another store.

☆ — SIM JAEYUN

oh, he's down bad. jake would do anything for you. yes, even walking all the way from his house to the party you were at just to pick you up and walk you home, making sure you reach your house safely.

you called him in the middle of the night, the buzzing of his phone waking jake up. he groaned at the brightness of his screen flashing his newly opened eyes, yet at the sight of your name he rubbed the sleepiness off them, quickly picking up your call.

"jake, i'm drunk!"

and that's all it took for him to jump out of his bed and run towards his destination. surely enough you were waiting outside for him, a big smile growing on your face at the sight of him.

sure, he was extremely tired and out of breath, his voice was still groggy from waking up around 10 minutes ago, the cold, chilly night yet to have its effect on him and wake him up completely, yet he still let you ride on his back when you started complaining about how your heels hurt your feet.

you had been talking to him about something, even though you had no idea what you were saying with the way your words were slurred, your voice muffled by his jacket. jake was nodding his head, humming after a few sentences to make sure you knew he was listening, even though he didn't know what he was listening to. you started off by talking about the party, and somewhere along the way you got lost in your own words and so did jake. his soft hums and the steady rhythm of his feet lulled you to sleep, and when he felt your eyelashes close against the nape of his neck, your breath falling onto his skin as your cheek rested further upon his shoulder is when he finally let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head, stopping in his tracks to close his eyes and think to himself:

"fuck, i love her, don't i?"

☆ — PARK SUNGHOON

sunghoon is desperately in love with you. he can't help it, butterflies swarm his stomach when he thinks about you, a sheepish grin makes its way onto his features when you talk to him, his eyes dart across your face every chance he gets so he can burn every second spent with you right into his memory.

"sunghoon, do you think this looks good or should i try on the blue sweater?"

to be completely honest, even if you wore a trash bag he'd think you looked gorgeous, and he hadn't been paying attention to any outfit you had shown him so far, your smile which grew wider with each compliment he gave you the only thing on his mind.

"you look beautiful, y/n."

"oh, come on, sunghoon! you've been telling me this about every outfit!" - you groan, yet a grin is still plastered on your face at his sweet words, "you have to help me!"

sunghoon tries, he really tries to hold himself back. his teeth sink into his tongue in hopes of biting back the words that were about to slip out, yet they still do. and so does his little secret.

"it's not my fault i'm in love with you!"

☆ — KIM SUNOO

sunoo is a sweet guy. everyone likes him: the teachers, the students, his friends, and complete strangers. his smile is contagious, his face is soft and beautiful, his eyes crinkle up when he smiles, and he's kind, helpful, friendly. who wouldn't like him? well, you, apparently.

it's not that he's intrigued by your cold attitude towards him, he's simply determined to make you like him just like everyone else. it's quite difficult to get to know you though, you don't speak to anyone except a select few. if your friends don't come to school you usually sit alone, either mindlessly scribbling in your notebook, or sleeping. you always have that look on your face. one of pure boredom, uninterest, that "why are you even talking to me" face.

sunoo thinks it's stupid. how could you not be thrilled to talk to the people around you? how is it even possible to not want to get to know everyone, to grow your circle, have new people to talk to and share experiences with.

you know who sunoo is. everyone knows who sunoo is. when he walks past you down the hallway he's always waving at someone, stopping in his tracks a few times to have a little small talk, then quickly picking up his pace once the bell rings so he gets to make it in time for class. it doesn't matter if he's late though, the teachers adore him like he's their own son, and he hasn't gotten a single second of detention. sunoo has the sunshine privilege. that's unfair. you don't like when things are unfair. you don't like the sunshine privilege. you don't like sunoo.

so you avoid him.

but he somehow still finds his way back to you.

"she totally hates you, dude, get over it," - sunghoon groans, shoving another loaf of bread into his mouth, and threatening to shove some into sunoo's mouth so he stops talking about you for the fifth time today.

"but why?! i didn't even do anything to her, i tried talking to her every single day since she moved here, i'm nice, i'm helpful, i'm a great guy, what am i doing wrong?!" - the younger boy whines into his palms, head buried in his hands, trying to come up with a way to win you over.

one of his other friends chimes into the conversation, taking a seat in between his friends and playfully wrapping his arm around sunoo, - "it's okay, man, there must be a way to get your little crush to like you!"

sunoo whips his head towards the boy, eyebrows furrowed so deeply that you'd think they'd merge into one another any second. - "heeseung, it's not a crush!"

sunghoon chuckles at his oblivious friend, - "is too!"

"... is it?"

you are kinda cute. your attitude, although not sunoo's style, makes you look even more adorable. you have pretty lips too, although you're always frowning. he thinks you'd look better with the corners of your lips turned upwards though. he wants to see you smile. he wants to make you smile. he wants to make you his.

☆ — YANG JUNGWON

jungwon thinks he's a pretty chill guy. he's always been levelheaded. most of the time he's the only levelheaded person in the room, to be completely honest. he knows what to say and when to say it. although he resembles a cat, the saying "cat got your tongue" had never applied to him. so why is he standing in front of you, his crush, ready to have his very first conversation with you, without a single word coming out of his mouth?

"oh, hey! jungwon, right?" - you ask, sending a soft smile his way.

you know his name. you know his name. you know his name.

"huh? yeah... i'm jungwon. um..." - his confident smile fades instantly when it really sinks in that he has no idea what to say to you. he always knows what to say, how could this happen to him?! this is ridiculous. if he weren't standing in front of you right now he'd slap himself in hopes of rattling his brain somehow.

your eyebrows furrow at the awkward silence taking over, - "do you need anything, jungwon?"

his name falls past your lips so gracefully that if hearing you say his name followed with the three words he wants to say to you the most means he must sell his every worldly possession, he will. but he can't tell you that. he can't tell you how pretty your eyes are either, he can't tell you that he wants to hold your hand, or wrap his arms around you and keep you in his warm embrace for a little while. or how he wants to bury his head in the crook of your neck and bask in your warmth, or that you're the most beautiful person he has ever laid his eyes on and it'd be an honor to take you out on a date. yeah, he definitely can't say that.

"you're the most beautiful person i've ever laid my eyes on, it'd be an honor to take you out on a date..."

it's over. he's a goner.

the way you twiddle with your fingers at his confession goes completely unnoticed despite his big round eyes growing wider at his own words. he's too far gone to see how a warm smile had made its way onto your face.

"sure, i'd love to!"

it's not over. in fact, it's just getting started.

☆ — NISHIMURA RIKI

riki is quite good at hiding his crush on you, considering how the overwhelming feelings have such a weight to them that he's sure his heart doubles at the mere mention of your name to make room for the intense emotions that'll start kicking in. you two aren't dating, although he wishes you were, and you're most definitely not best friends. he knows you, you know him, you think he's nice, he thinks about you every second of every day, y'know, the usual...

"riki, hey!" - you push through the crowd of students walking around a narrow hallway that could only be described as a jar filled to the brim with tiny little ants, very studious one's at that!

his friends' heads immediately turn your way. a girl, talking to riki?! although their eyes don't stay glued on you for too long, they quickly glance at riki. the sight was hilarious, his long fingers were brushing through his disheveled hair, free hand tugging at the hem of his hoodie to smoothen out any wrinkles. there's a soft tint of pink spread across his cheeks, nothing too noticeable, although the burning red glow of his ears was far from discreet.

"y/n, hey!" - he grins, the hand combing through his hair now scratching the nape of his neck to try and play it cool... very smooth! a muffled laugh escapes from one of his friend's shut lips as their orbs dart between the boy and you.

you reach into your pocket, rummaging through the various things you keep inside. crackling of your house keys and noises of crumpled-up paper can be heard before you take out something. riki's eyes try their best to tear away from your mesmerizing features so he can see what you're trying to show him with your arm stretched towards him and a big grin on your face. he notices a little something lying on your palm. it's a duck keychain. if you were any other person he'd look at the item in your hand with a disgusted look on his face, eyebrows knitted together, eyes squinting in pure horror. but you're you. you're the love of his life. that's probably why riki can feel his heart thumping against his ribcage, a stupid smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he tries his best to fight it off, yet the inevitable happens.

"take it, it's a gift! i saw it on the way to school and it reminded me of you!"

he quickly takes the keychain from your palm, ensuring his fingers stray as far away from yours as possible. even the slightest bit of physical contact and he feels his heart will explode for good. he mumbles out a thank you before you turn on your heels and walk away, completely oblivious that the butterflies in his stomach now make their way towards his throat, making him swallow dry.

"hey, riki, what's that?" - jungwon nudges him with his elbow, eyeing the item riki's holding between his fingers. a smile makes its way onto jungwon's lips as he glances up at his friend who's currently grinning from one red ear to another, rosy cheeks like pink buttons on a sweater made with love and care.

"i thought you hated ducks," - sunoo adds, sly hands reaching towards the keychain to try and pry it out of riki's hands, but instead the tall boy clutches harder onto the item, bringing it to his chest.

"well i like this one!" - he adds, furrowing his eyebrows and glaring at his nosy friend.

riki never knew he could like ducks this much.

©tyunni please don't copy, translate or repost any of my work!

taglist: @geombyu @junityy @uygmoeb @sunghun @eternallyhyucks @pshjae @marknaeroni @feyregels @neos127 @koishua @echo-of-a-writer @w3bqrl @duolingofanaccount @goldenhypen @sungniverse @hittoki @acciomylove @soobin-chois @anik-4 @yjwfav @ja4hyvn @ddeonubaby @deafeningballoonnacho @squiishymeow @odxrilove @iyeonjuni @nyaforniki @kittyeji @pinkyyyujin @addictedtothesummernights @love-4-keum @luveill @enhastolemyheart @kpop-kitkat @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @str4b3rizz @solvgume @nishislcve (bold means i can’t mention you, if you want to be a part of my taglist fill this out!!)

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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 months

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An adversarial iMessage client for Android

Adversarial interoperability is one of the most reliable ways to protect tech users from predatory corporations: that's when a technologist reverse-engineers an existing product to reconfigure or mod it (interoperability) in ways its users like, but which its manufacturer objects to (adversarial):

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/adversarial-interoperability

"Adversarial interop" is a mouthful, so at EFF, we coined the term "competitive compatibility," or comcom, which is a lot easier to say and to spell.

Scratch any tech success and you'll find a comcom story. After all, when a company turns its screws on its users, it's good business to offer an aftermarket mod that loosens them again. HP's $10,000/gallon inkjet ink is like a bat-signal for third-party ink companies. When Mercedes announces that it's going to sell you access to your car's accelerator pedal as a subscription service, that's like an engraved invitation to clever independent mechanics who'll charge you a single fee to permanently unlock that "feature":

https://www.techdirt.com/2023/12/05/carmakers-push-forward-with-plans-to-make-basic-features-subscription-services-despite-widespread-backlash/

Comcom saved giant tech companies like Apple. Microsoft tried to kill the Mac by rolling out a truly cursèd version of MS Office for MacOS. Mac users (5% of the market) who tried to send Word, Excel or Powerpoint files to Windows users (95% of the market) were stymied: their files wouldn't open, or they'd go corrupt. Tech managers like me started throwing the graphic designer's Mac and replacing it with a Windows box with a big graphics card and Windows versions of Adobe's tools.

Comcom saved Apple's bacon. Apple reverse-engineered MS's flagship software suite and made a comcom version, iWork, whose Pages, Numbers and Keynote could flawlessly read and write MS's Word, Excel and Powerpoint files:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/06/adversarial-interoperability-reviving-elegant-weapon-more-civilized-age-slay

It's tempting to think of iWork as benefiting Apple users, and certainly the people who installed and used it benefited from it. But Windows users also benefited from iWork. The existence of iWork meant that Windows users could seamlessly collaborate on and share files with their Mac colleagues. IWork didn't just add a new feature to the Mac ("read and write files that originated with Windows users") – it also added a feature to Windows: "collaborate with Mac users."

Every pirate wants to be an admiral. Though comcom rescued Apple from a monopolist's sneaky attempt to drive it out of business, Apple – now a three trillion dollar company – has repeatedly attacked comcom when it was applied to Apple's products. When Apple did comcom, that was progress. When someone does comcom to Apple, that's piracy.

Apple has many tools at its disposal that Microsoft lacked in the early 2000s. Radical new interpretations of existing copyright, contract, patent and trademark law allows Apple – and other tech giants – to threaten rivals who engage in comcom with both criminal and civil penalties. That's right, you can go to prison for comcom these days. No wonder Jay Freeman calls this "felony contempt of business model":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/09/lead-me-not-into-temptation/#chamberlain

Take iMessage, Apple's end-to-end encrypted (E2EE) instant messaging tool. Apple customers can use iMessage to send each other private messages that can't be read or altered by third parties – not cops, not crooks, not even Apple. That's important, because when private messaging systems get hacked, bad things happen:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2014_celebrity_nude_photo_leak

But Apple has steadfastly refused to offer an iMessage app for non-Apple systems. If you're an Apple customer holding a sensitive discussion with an Android user, Apple refuses to offer you a tool to maintain your privacy. Those messages are sent "in the clear," over the 38-year-old SMS protocol, which is trivial to spy on and disrupt.

Apple sacrifices its users' security and integrity in the hopes that they will put pressure on their friends to move into Apple's walled garden. As CEO Tim Cook told a reporter: if you want to have secure communications with your mother, buy her an iPhone:

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/tim-cook-says-buy-mom-210347694.html

Last September, a 16-year old high school student calling himself JJTech published a technical teardown of iMessage, showing how any device could send and receive encrypted messages with iMessage users, even without an Apple ID:

https://jjtech.dev/reverse-engineering/imessage-explained/

JJTech even published code to do this, in an open source library called Pypush:

https://github.com/JJTech0130/pypush

In the weeks since, Beeper has been working to productize JJTech's code, and this week, they announced Beeper Mini, an Android-based iMessage client that is end-to-end encrypted:

https://beeper.notion.site/How-Beeper-Mini-Works-966cb11019f8444f90baa314d2f43a54

Beeper is known for a multiprotocol chat client built on Matrix, allowing you to manage several kinds of chat from a single app. These multiprotocol chats have been around forever. Indeed, iMessage started out as one – when it was called "iChat," it supported Google Talk and Jabber, another multiprotocol tool. Other tools like Pidgin have kept the flame alive for decades, and have millions of devoted users:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/07/tower-babel-how-public-interest-internet-trying-save-messaging-and-banish-big

But iMessage support has remained elusive. Last month, Nothing launched Sunchoice, a disastrous attempt to bring iMessage to Android, which used Macs in a data-center to intercept and forward messages to Android users, breaking E2EE and introducing massive surveillance risks:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/11/21/23970740/sunbird-imessage-app-shut-down-privacy-nothing-chats-phone-2

Beeper Mini does not have these defects. The system encrypts and decrypts messages on the Android device itself, and directly communicates with Apple's servers. It gathers some telemetry for debugging, and this can be turned off in preferences. It sends a single SMS to Apple's servers during setup, which changes your device's bubble from green to blue, so that Apple users now correctly see your device as a secure endpoint for iMessage communications.

Beeper Mini is now available in Google Play:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.beeper.ima&hl=en_US

Now, this is a high-stakes business. Apple has a long history of threatening companies like Beeper over conduct like this. And Google has a long history deferring to those threats – as it did with OG App, a superior third-party Instagram app that it summarily yanked after Meta complained:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/05/battery-vampire/#drained

But while iMessage for Android is good for Android users, it's also very good for Apple customers, who can now get the privacy and security guarantees of iMessage for all their contacts, not just the ones who bought the same kind of phone as they did. The stakes for communications breaches have never been higher, and antitrust scrutiny on Big Tech companies has never been so intense.

Apple recently announced that it would add RCS support to iOS devices (RCS is a secure successor to SMS):

https://9to5mac.com/2023/11/16/apple-rcs-coming-to-iphone/

Early word from developers suggests that this support will have all kinds of boobytraps. That's par for the course with Apple, who love to announce splashy reversals of their worst policies – like their opposition to right to repair – while finding sneaky ways to go on abusing its customers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/22/vin-locking/#thought-differently

The ball is in Apple's court, and, to a lesser extent, in Google's. As part of the mobile duopoly, Google has joined with Apple in facilitating the removal of comcom tools from its app store. But Google has also spent millions on an ad campaign shaming Apple for exposing its users to privacy risks when talking to Android users:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/9/21/23883609/google-rcs-message-apple-iphone-ipager-ad

While we all wait for the other shoe to drop, Android users can get set up on Beeper Mini, and technologists can kick the tires on its code libraries and privacy guarantees.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/07/blue-bubbles-for-all/#never-underestimate-the-determination-of-a-kid-who-is-time-rich-and-cash-poor

#pluralistic #multiprotocol #interoperability #adversarial interop #beeper #reverse engineering #blue bubbles #green bubbles #e2ee #end to end encrypted #messaging #jjtech #pypushbeeper mini #matrix #competitive compatibility #comcom

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diorctrl · 6 months

Note

hi hi !! if you’re taking requests, can you do enhypen x idol!reader where the reader is a host on music bank? thank you :D

MUSIC BANK HOST : idol!enha x idol! reader

𓂂 ˳ enhypen hyung line genre: idol au, fluff, different scenarios warnings: intentional lower case, im gonna split this up into two so maknae line coming soon

lee heeseung ( 이희승 )

୨୧ 𓂂 ˳ you’re apart of (g)-idle, both enhypen and your group had a comeback around the same time so it was bound to happen that your groups would do a dual interview together on music bank. to say heeseung knew about you was an understatement… you were his ultimate idol crush and you knew about him because you found him attractive and liked his groups music, that was it he wasn’t even on your mind like you were on his.heeseung being the fanboy of you that he is couldn’t keep his eyes off of you as you and chaemin did your introductions. he was so into you it was obvious to anyone with a pair of two eyes. he was so hypnotized by you that it seemed that he forgot the group that you were apart of the type of members you have.

“ah, yes.” yuqi starts she stood in the middle right beside heeseung who’s gaze was still on you, “I’m happy to once again spend an amazing comeback with my beautiful members, don’t you agree heeseung since you’re so captivated by my beautiful member who’s our mc.” yuqi turns to the boy smiling teasingly as everyone laughs and ohs at her comment towards heeseung who shakes his head in shock at the girl’s confidence to say such a thing. “oh! so you don’t find her beautiful?” yuqi says loudly at the boys head shakes the laughs becoming louder, heeseung opens his mouth to protest but is cut off by your voice, “you don’t find me beautiful?” you join in on the teasing, oh how he wanted to die. but hey, this embarrassing situation of his is how he ended up bumping into you in the hallways and gaining to courage to ask for your number and to clarify that he finds you very beautiful.

park jongseong ( 박종성 )

୨୧ 𓂂 ˳ you’re apart of lesserafim, you and jay hated each other. he didn’t know when it started but he’s pretty sure it was when both of you were trainees, you and him were always at each others necks and that hatred has been going strong from trainee days to the present with both you and him being members of super successful groups of your generation. it was definitely a shock to jay when chaemin asked him to fill in for him for music bank, he agreed of course but was still very shocked. what shocked him even more is instead of seeing eunchae wearing a matching outfit with him he saw you. isn’t it just such a coincidence that both music bank hosts wouldn’t be able to do the show? turns out eunchae was “sick” before you and him could go at each other it was already time to host and to say there was tension between the two of you was an understatement. every group and soloist that the both of you interviewed could feel it as well and your scripts made everything so much more entertaining.

“do I look handsome?” jay asked, reading off of his script he cringed slightly before showing off his outfit to you who covered your face with your cue card. “uh..” you responded as looked at your cue card that told you to agree and say that he does look handsome but instead you burst out in laughter. jay tried his hardest to stay in character but your laugh made it so hard, “are you ok-” he couldn’t get through his sentence before he’s cutting himself off with his own laughter, it’s funny that this situation is what broke the tension and got the two of you to be comfortable with each other the rest of the show.

sim jaeyun ( 심재윤 )

୨୧ 𓂂 ˳ you’re a famous actress, that was known for your role on the glory as young yeonjin. you were definitely a beauty but you played your role so well that it had some people either hate you or utterly terrified of you. jake was one of the people that were utterly terrified of you, in his mind there was no way you were that good of actor to play that role so well. so when jake found out that you were one of the new music bank hosts, he had to mentally prepare himself to face you, the boys told him that he was being ridicules but jake was sure that you were a demon spawn so with that being said jake was shook when he had to stand so close to said demon spawn. seeing you up close was even worse especially since you were so pretty, it’s always the pretty ones is all jake could say to himself. the whole interview he wasn’t buying this bubbly personality that you had going on there was you had to be just putting this on for the cameras, that was until you bumped into him in the halls.

“oh my gosh!” you exclaim at him, smiling brightly as jake looks at you confused, “I was looking for you.” you say walking closer to him. “looking for me?” he asks, “yeah, I love your group and you’re my bias, I was wondering if you could sign my photo card?” jake looks at you in shock for a while, are you really this bubbly and not a demon spawn?, “uh yeah sure.” he hesitantly smiles taking the pink pen and the photo card of him from your hand and signs the back, you smile brightly at him as he gives it back to you, “thank you so much!” you say before heading towards the other direction. jake stares at your retreating figure his mind going a thousand miles, a a pretty bubbly and obviously talented actress who’s obviously into him and he’s gonna let this pass up because he thought you were a demon spawn? no way before he can even process it jake is calling you name and speeding to catch up with you.

park sunghoon ( 박성훈 )

୨୧ 𓂂 ˳ you’re apart of aespa, both you and Sunghoon were known for your icy visuals and you guys were probably the most shipped idols at the moment. everyone thought that you guys would go so well together, little did they know that their ship were already dating. sunghoon was your down bad boyfriend that was your biggest supporter and he always made sure to support you with music bank and he was excited that he would finally get to see the best host that he’s ever seen interview him and his group (he only calls you the best host because you’re his girlfriend.) what he didn’t expect was for chaemin and yours script to be so flirty even when you’re interviewing groups. all he could do when you and chaemin were interviewing him and his group was think who the heck wrote the script and when he can have a talk with them.

sunghoon sulked as he laid on the couch in your dressing room, he watched has you packed up your bag before letting out an annoyed sigh, “what is your problem?” you ask turning towards him but all he responds with is another exaggerated sigh. “what happened to you?” you laugh as you walk over to the boy standing in between his legs as he buries his head on your stomach, “since when did your scripts get so flirty?” he asks but his voice is muffled, “what?” you ask, cupping his face and tilting it up to face you, “since when did your scripts get so flirty?” he repeats playfulness glaring up at you. “they’re not flirty.” you laugh, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, “yes they are, they were never like this when I was a mc.” he whines glaring off to the side. all you could do is laugh at his dramatics, “I only have eyes for you.” you say pressing another kiss to his forehead, “you better.” he says, “I also need to get in contact with your script writer.”

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen headcanons #heeseung #jay #Jake #sunghoon #heeseung x reader #jay x reader #jake x reader #sunghoon x reader #idol!yn #enhypen x idol reader

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arminsumi · 7 months

Note

we've had ex geto... but what about ex gojo?

YOUR FAVORITE EX

↳ GOJO さとる + fem!reader

Note : ooo... ex gojo 🤤 hope u likey

Warnings : 🔞 minors do not read/interact : contains smut/explicit content, kinda toxic themes, some angst, baby trapping, pregnancy, dirty talk, unprotected sex + creampies, possessiveness

Playme : streets

🍒 More from Jay : Gojo works / Gojo fave works / JJK works / oct. reqs open

Ex!Gojo makes the break up everyone's business. And of course it's you breaking up with his obnoxious, overdramatic ass. Multiple times, too. You two have broken up so many times in fact that your friends just don't take it seriously anymore when you announce "We're breaking up". That just means "We're getting back together in two weeks (lol)."

Ex!Gojo pulls the "I can't find anyone like you" and the "Aw, don't be like that, baby" cards on you.

Ex!Gojo claims to be your favorite ex. Yeah you hate him... buuut he's still your favorite... right? Right? He'll nag you to admit it. It makes his heart flutter and ego swell bigger than his head.

Ex!Gojo is a menace, always deterring your potential new lovers and declining dates on your behalf. He gives you a stupid excuse with that cheeky smirk, "What? It's not like they could love you better than me, anyways. I'm the best. Don't waste your time. Just come back to me, yeah? You know my arms are still open to you."

Ex!Gojo doesn't act like an ex at all. He still kisses you. Still hugs you. Invites you for every party. Visits your apartment at 2 AM when he's drunk and rambles to you about all the crazy things he always rambled about at 2 AM. And you don't treat him like an ex because... his kisses put you in a trance. Then you realize oh, we're broken up, what the hell.

Ex!Gojo clings to your body and holds it with the same possessiveness that he always used to. He places his big hand on your hip and grips it tight, especially at parties. "Stay close to me."

Ex!Gojo taunts you during those late-night hatefucks, "You missed this fat cock fucking up your guts, huh? I know you did. Don't you fucking lie to me." while he's balls deep in you, skin slapping loudly against yours in the backseat of his car. He just kindly offered you a drive home, and then one thing led to another and you ended up on his lap having his big hands moving your hips up and down. "That's it, admit how much you missed me 'n bounce on this cock, baby. Admit it."

Ex!Gojo fucks you harder when he's your ex, making sure you're super full and stuffed with his cock. He loves molding your tiny hole to accommodate his shape, hitting your sweet spots with mean pounding thrusts until you scream those three little words for him. "I miss you!" he smiles when he hears this, presses his forehead to yours and coos while cumming inside, "Missed you too, baby. Missed this pussy. You know it's m-mine forever, don't you? No one can fuck you better than I can..." and it's true, no one knows the map of your sweet spots and erogenous zones better than he does. He's masterful at pleasuring you.

Ex!Gojo cums inside you more than he did while you two were dating. Who knows why. Seems like his animalistic, primal brain kicked in and he thought well if I put a baby in you... you'll have a piece of me forever. You'll have to come back to me. And his seed is potent. You bet you're getting pregnant. He has the wolfiest smile when you bitterly show him the pregnancy test. "Ooh, baby I'm so proud of that little pussy for getting pregnant. Let's have a celebratory fuck."

Ex!Gojo knows that no matter where you go, he'll always find you. His high school sweetheart. His five year girlfriend. The mother of his child. The only woman that's ever had such a strong hold on him. The only one he's ever been weakened by.

Ex!Gojo cries sometimes after creaming up inside your pussy, "Please come back... I miss you so bad..." and starts sobbing like a puppy into the crook of your neck when you run your fingers through his snowy hair.

Ex!Gojo feels his broken heart get pieced back together when you finally return to him. And just like that, he slots half his soul into yours. "Baby... you're the best thing this world ever gave me. Just let me marry you, please..."

Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.

Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

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the-daydreaming-show · 9 months

Text

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧(?) 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐞 (but patience).

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: A small collection of stories like Batmom! Scarlet Witch as a mother for her children, unintentionally but not by accident, and how it started all with each one.

Being a member of the Wayne family comes with its quirks.

Being Bruce Wayne's wife has twice the quirks when you consider your husband's nocturnal activities, and it's this second category of quirks that usually concerns you the most.

Or at least that's what you thought would happen when you married him. But, even with being a retired vigilante yourself and already knowing everything that Bruce was Batman implied, it turned out that the other side of the coin was the one that began to bother you the most.

¿Your husband goes out every night dressed as a giant bat and comes back just before the sun rises?

No problem, you handled that like a champ.

¿The city press, who are desperate to know about the woman who finally put Gotham's prodigal son off the market and how the marriage goes every moment of every day?.

Yeah, you hadn't been ready for that.

Over time you got used to the drama and the questions, it helped that you could read their minds before they asked the question for your response planning. But there was one question that haunted you from the first official gala you and Bruce attended after the wedding (which was less than two weeks after the wedding, by the way): ¿When are you going to be pregnant? ¿When do you plan to have a child? ¿Can we soon expect ball gowns to become looser for a bulging belly with a Wayne heir?

And so, on and on, for infinity.

The answer had been maybe or someday, considering that they were both of you still young and in no rush.

In truth, tho, you two had never really considered the possibility of having children. Bruce didn't feel fit to be a father for many reasons. And the possibility of you passing your powers to a biological child was too high to risk. So it was never a card on the table to have children together when you got married, and you both were fine with that. There were talks about adopting as a possibility, but far in the future, like it was almost like a fantasy you two knew that would probably never happen anyway.

But then, things happened…

ACT ONE: a boys tale.

chapter one is Richard “Dick” Grayson

chapter two is Jason “Jay” Todd

chapter three....... (coming soon)

chapter four....... (coming soon)

chapter five....... (coming soon)

ACT TWO: is a girl's world.

chapter six....... (coming soon)

chapter seven....... (coming soon)

chapter eighth....... (coming soon)

TAGLIST: If someone wants to be added or removed from this list, you can request it. The TAG LIST is OPEN.

@some-lovely-day @simonsbluee @yuki-chan23 @miyakana @myst3batz @otchae @d3m0n8ch1ld @marsenbie @mynameisnotlaura @andieperrie18 @totallynotme420 @igotmessymind @amarawayne @calsjack @kodzukenmaaa @mellowdiy @noah-uhhh-what @blarba-girl @dead-sane-stuff @huhuhhuhh @kimmis-stuff @undecided-shipper @thedazzlingburglar @chxrry-blxssxm-tea @stilesxreid @blarba-girl @mellowdiy @noah-uhhh-what @dead-sane-stuff @huhuhhuhh @undecided-shipper @g0shikix3 @athenniene @cluelessteam @urminebutidontwantyou @pato-spoiler-27 @beanpd

#batfamily x reader #batmom #all for us #batmom!reader #jason todd x batmom #tim drake x batmom #dick grayson x batmom #damian wayne x batmom

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byhees · 2 months

Text

when you play with their hair.

엔하이픈 ・ female reader + word count 600 genre fluff established relationship non-idol au warnings not proof-read skinship kissing petnames — more

a/n. as promised, third work of the day～ hope you enjoy ♡

heeseung would instantly relax under your touch; the way you gently fiddle with the soft locks, hand lightly brushing his bangs to the side to plant a sweet kiss on his forehead, has him melting— it almost feels like second nature for his eyes to flutter shut, his words slurring near the ends as he draws closer to sleep; would pepper your face with heaps of kisses to show his appreciation; offers to return the gesture soon after…

jay would find the gesture so comforting; would have already been lying by your side, head resting on your lap, eyelids gently fluttering close from exhaustion— the mere action of scratching the roots of his scalp, giving him an impromptu scalp massage, has him nuzzling closer to your embrace; “thank you, thank you, thank you, baby”, he’d mumble afterwards, sitting up to press a long kiss on your lips, lightly smiling into it in the process…

jake would immediately break into a smile; the sensation of your body warmth against his, paired with the gentle fiddling of his hair, are enough to elicit an adorable giggle from his end; finds it endearing when you purse your lips in concentration, bundling a few locks together to tie into a mini ponytail; definitely gives you a smooch on your lips to show his adoration…

sunghoon would sink into your touch in a mere second; the tranquil silence of the room, paired with the sensation of your hand gently carding through his locks, would be the exact definition of peaceful for him— the day’s concerns and stresses would dissipate into nothingness in that split moment, feeling as though it’d be just you and him in this world; can’t help but to slip in a small “i love you” afterwards, flashing a shy smile, cheeks flushed pink from pure endearment…

sunoo would feel so treasured; the way your eyes never shift away from him, the way you’re so wholly focused on fixing pretty hair clips onto his locks— they all make him feel so loved; winds up sitting as still as can be, mind concentrated on just how breathtaking you look, especially from such a close distance. “i love it”, he’d chime, fingers lightly brushing against the little clips, a pretty smile growing on his blush-painted face…

jungwon would find you so adorable; there’s a pretty twinkle in your eyes as you tenderly fiddle with his hair, raking your hand through the strands— would scoot closer to you to make it less straining on your arm; when you lean close to tie his hair up into little pigtails, gently biting your bottom lip in concentration, brows lightly furrowing, he can’t help but to purse his lips, muffling a soft giggle at how oddly serious and meticulous you’re being; would press sweet kisses all over your face afterwards, dimples making a pretty appearance; spends the remainder of the day with that hairstyle, because even though it’s a little wonky, in his words, “it’s a masterpiece made by my princess”…

riki would, surprisingly, be really flustered; had initially expected for you to pull a little prank on him, given how awkwardly you asked for him to lie down; doesn’t anticipate the sudden scalp massage you'd be giving— in an instant, he’d drop his composure, eyes staring back at you with slight puzzlement; “what’s wrong? do you not like it?”, and just before you’re able to pull your hand away, he’d quickly hold onto your wrist, gently guiding it back to his hair— “i didn’t say to stop”, he’d murmur, pouting a tad in the process; and you’d have to bite back a giggle, heart thumping from how endearing he looks…

taglist open! @halcyoni-ki @wondipity @yjjungwon @shysakuno @niktwazny303 @vnsux @minhosify @haechansbbg @yeomha @stepout-09-15 @chansburgah @sona-verse01 @lilly-bubblelops @smouches @mrchweeee @luvistqrzzz @nwjws @ibsysbsfsunsbs @rikisly @amyysfics @mixtape-racha @berry-and-kkami @rikislady @gweoriz @czlluvriki @okwonyo @okwons @kimsunoops networks! @kflixnet @enhanet @k-labels

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minhosimthings · 4 months

Text

Angels in Tibet

Symphony Smut Series Day 13: Amaarae's Angels in Tibet

Lyric: Louvre and Armani I like how you say it

Pairings: fiance!Jay × fem!reader

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI 18+, implied use of pheromone, bathroom sex, semi public sex, fingering, p in v sex, overstimulation, missionary, unprotected sex (not for you baby), mention of breeding, rough sex and I'm talking ROUGH, dom!Jay, sub!reader, fluffy in the beginning

A/N: Day 13 baby! 5 more oneshots to go and we'll be over. I just had to do a Paris fic with Jay cause IT'S JAY. @yunabi436 a gift for you darling

THE SYMPHONY SMUT SERIES MASTERLIST

Jay was a 'date to marry' guy. Which was very evident from the fact that he bought you your favourite flowers on your first date which he had asked you about the day before.

The ring on your finger never shone brighter than now, when Jay had proposed a pre-wedding holiday to Paris, even though you had begged him not to spend more money on you.

"What kind of a husband would I be if I didn't?" He reasoned, blocking your attempts to put in your credit card to chip in for the trip, "Plus you've always wanted to see the Louvre so we're going, no buts."

"Not even my butt?"

Paris was beautiful. Paris was amazing. Paris was amazing. But most of all, Paris had The Louvre.

A place you had been wanting to visit since you saw it in a magazine when you were seven. You had always hada knack for art history, which, due to parental pressure, you hadn't taken as a major in college. Jay knew that. And that's why he took you to see the triangular polycarbon (or atleast he guessed it was polycarbon) structure, where treasures beheld your eyes.

"You know the interesting thing about this painting-" you stared at all the beautiful swirls of colours on the frame in front of you, "is that even though it is more harder to paint than the painting opposite of it-" you glances at the crowd of people behind you, "It is still largely ignored."

"So you'd much rather analyse The Wedding Feast at Cana rather than The Mona Lisa herself?" Jay rested his chin on your shoulder, reading the brief introduction of the painter carved at the pedestal.

"Mona Lisa is a masterpiece I will admit. But this!" You gestured dramatically towards the painting with your hands, "This is magnificent."

"Darling as much as I would love to stand here and watch you talk about this painting, didn't you want to get a look at Psyche by Antonio Canova? And isn't that in the next room with the sculptures?"

"Oh yeah." You responded. Seeing all the artworks of the Louvre would take approximately 20 days and you were only here for a week. So you obliged and took Jay's hand casually strolling off to the next room.

Though you hadn't mentioned it, your nostrils had had a sense of misdirection throughout the entire time Jay strolled close to you. You had brushed it off as a thing of the atmosphere, continuing with your tour.

Unbeknownst to you however, earlier that day, Jay had rubbed some of his 'special' cologne onto his wrists and neck. You were a generally freaky person, and he knew that. So your everlasting wish to fuck in the bathroom of a museum was about to be fulfilled today.

"Jay ah-ah fuck."

Jay's got you pinned against him, back to chest, feet balanced atop the muscle of his thighs. Spread wide open, bare and exposed, helpless in the way he traps your throat between bicep and forearm.

“This what you had in mind for the bathroom of The Louvre?” he asks, circles a wet finger over your clit, a ghosting touch that leaves your hips canting upward. Almost frantic, a silent pleading, but he traps you steadfast.

It started as a small kiss. A peck. A brush of the lips so gentle you barely felt it until he pressed his mouth to yours fully. There was no tongue, nor any breathlessness when he pulled away and looked at you again. But you could feel the shift in the air. The drop in your stomach and sudden stillness in the room while a white noise clouded your head.

You’re a little light-headed, blistered beneath the skin, needy and fidgeting. Maybe you want him to hold you still, to fit you tight against him, to fight against your struggle—something carnal deep down that gets off on his strength, the power you know he can wield over you.

Your vision begins to speckle and fizz, and pleasure coils blinding hot in the pit of your stomach. At his mercy, desperate for anything he’ll give you—the helplessness breaks you apart, soaks you between the legs. The sound of his pumping fingers is filthy and slick, and your cunt sucks him in. Begs more than your mouth ever could.

You meet each thrust of his fingers with a tilt of your hips, exhale a stuttering moan when he begins to grind the bulge of his cock against the curve of your ass. When he pulls you hard against his chest and whispers a string of praise into your ear.

His name is the last coherent word you get out before it’s only feral moans of bliss. You’re so close it’s like a fire burning in your limbs, every muscle tensing as you try to withhold it a little longer to prolong this moment where all you cared about was him and the way he could send you into the stars. When the tip of his finger pinpoints and stiffens to flick teasingly before he latches once again, that’s all it takes to have the elastic snaps, sending a shockwave from your core all the way to the tips of your fingers, your muffled scream echoing off the mirrors. He’s satisfied with himself, smiling as he stands and lets your legs fall limply from his grasp, his hands catching your boneless body from slinking down onto the floor.

This man was beautiful, so godsdamned beautiful.

And he was all yours.

"Can you take more darling?" Jay questioned, clutching your hips to keep you steady, admiring your naked back in the mirror behind you, "I can do it all night if you want."

Without warning, he shoved his cock into your pussy, hearing your muffled whimper as he'd done so. "quiet, don't wanna wake up the sculptures do we?" His own voice was strained as he scolded you, beginning to set his own pace. Unforgiving and harsh, making you lightheaded and dizzy.

You felt him right at your womb again and again and fucking again. You felt any semblance of your very sanity begin to melt away as he fucked you, so roughly that it almost had you begging for him to go easy on you.

He was fucking you like a thing void of a soul, like a rag doll. Every single time you felt him back inside, he pushed you deeper and deeper onto the marble. Your hands had felt useless, not even able to support your own weight. You offered them to him, feeling his lone hand take both of yours, anchoring himself to you without his pace even faltering. It was a reminder to you both that he's fucking huge, so strong and capable of easily overpowering you. It had you nearly sobbing, your insides squeezing him snugly.

Jay holds your stomach down and goes deeper. You squeal as you cum on his dick. He keeps going until eventually he slows down and cums, the warm feeling enveloping your pussy like a cocoon.

Jay looks up at your almost passed out figure and lets you rest your head on his shoulder as he pulls out.

"You doing okay baby?" Jay asks uncertainly, noticing how hard you were breathing.

"Park Jongsoeng how is our wedding day sex gonna beat this?" You joke, leaning against the cold marble. Thank heavens that the museum wasn't too busy today.

"Oh don't worry about that." Jay growls in your ear, squeezing your waist,

"I'll make sure to fuck a baby into you on that day."

Taglist: @ramenoil @mynameisniya150 @demigodmahash + whoever wants to be tagged, send an ask my way!

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venusflwers · 2 years

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should i redownload tot on my ipad ? i got my phone taken away so

#{<3} jay talks.#i wanna read the card story

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ham-st4r · 1 year

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𝑹𝒐𝒂𝒅 𝑻𝒓𝒊𝒑 𝒑𝒕.𝟐 - 𝑳. 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈

Pairing: heeseung + female reader!

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, unprotected sex, cream pie, cum eating, daddy kink, cursing, fingering, oral female receiving, rough sex multiple orgasms.

Genre: best friends, smut, 18+, read at your own discretion.

Summary: After your heated session in the back of the minivan with heeseung, you could barely keep your hands to yourself, and you couldn’t wait to get to the hotel so you could feel your best friend inside you again.

Number of words: 2,366k

Sorry for any errors cause I’m sure there’s quite a bit. I just couldn’t re-read it for the millionth time anyways hope you all enjoy 💀

Pt.1 pt.3 pt.4 (I recommend reading the first part but it’s not necessary)

Find your way around!

For the rest of the trip, you and heeseung subtly teased each other in the back of the minivan.

You'd occasionally shift on his lap purposely to tease him, and he'd slip his hands underneath your shirt, toying with your breasts as payback for you being such a tease.

Finally, after nearly an hour, Jay arrived at the destination safely.

Once he checked in, he got four rooms, and you all collectively started grabbing your bags and taking them into the lobby. Of course, heeseung refused to let you carry your own bags. You tried to take them from him, but he insisted, which didn't go unappreciated by you.

"Okay, listen up!" Jay clapped his hands, gathering everyone's attention while still in the lobby. "I only got four rooms 'cause the stay here is ridiculously expensive, and none of you wanted to help pay for it, so, we'll all be sharing rooms," Sunghoon grumbled and folded his arms, leaning up against a pillar off to the side. "So Jungwons with me, sunghoon is with Sunoo. obviously, Jake and his girlfriend can share, and since Y/n and heeseung sat together the whole way here, they can share a room. Sound fair?"

"Why does y/n get heeseung? I sat in the back, too," Sunghoon mumbled.

Jay could faintly make out someone mumbling in protest, but after he scanned the group and no one objected besides Sunghoon, he concluded that everyone else was okay with his setup.

Jay handed out the keycards individually, and you couldn't help but glance at heeseung, who already was looking at you with a mischievous smile on his face, and you could hardly even wait to get in the room alone with him.

He carried both your bags while you led him to your shared room. You swiped the key card and unlocked the door allowing him in first to set all the luggage down.

As soon as the lock clicked and you turned around, he was standing in front of you, towering over your frame while you looked up at him blinking your lashes cutely.

"Come here," he said playfully and gripped your wrist, guiding you to the freshly made bed. His intentions were already clear, but he made it obvious once the backs of your knees hit the mattress, and he removed your flimsy shirt along with your bra, which allowed him to fondle every inch of your upper body.

His hands dropped to the button on your shorts, quickly undoing it. The material slid down your thighs as his fingers dipped inside the waistband of your underwear, dropping those to the floor along with your shorts.

He bit his lip at the sight of your bare pussy and gently pushed you back on the bed. You excitedly scooted out of your bottoms and up to the headboard giving him space to lay between your legs. "So wet and pretty," he whispers while he eyes the glob of wetness leaking from your throbbing cunt and sticking to your inner thighs.

He hooked his forearms around your thighs, spreading them open so he could do what he pleased with you.

Your breath hitched as soon as he flattened his warm tongue against your entrance. He lapped at your clenching hole, slurping up the wetness that leaked out, only for more to take its place just seconds later. "Daddy," you whined when he dug his fingertips into your thighs and licked you clean.

He kissed your clit and looked up from between your legs smiling when he saw just how desperate and needy you already looked. "My baby girl tastes so delicious" his warm breath fanned over your wet pussy, making you shiver with need.

Two of his thick fingers easily slid into you, and he immediately started pumping them in and out, slowly scissoring you open. "Fuck” you moan softly as his fingers explore your insides.

He smiles in satisfaction and accompanies his two fingers with a third, and the moan you let out made his dick twitch in his boxers. The feeling of you clamping down so tightly around his digits made it hard for him to even think straight. "So tight," he murmured in between licks and wet flicks of his tongue.

Your hands find his hair, and you grip the roots tightly, causing him to groan from your tight hold. "All for d-daddy" You ran your fingers through his hair, slightly guiding his movements.

"This little pussy is all mine, right? All nice and wet for your daddy, yeah?" His three fingers were buried knuckle deep in your soaking cunt as he brushed up against your sweet spot making your toes curl, and your thighs tremble in pleasure.

You nodded softly. "Yes," you breathed out, chest heaving from the intensity of your orgasm building up inside you while you ground your pussy down on his face to reach your high.

"That's right, girly fuck daddy's face," he mumbled into your heat and rubbed the pads of his finger's against your warm walls "cum on daddy's fingers like a good girl" He attached his smooth lips over your engorged clit sucking on the sensitive flesh while swirling his tongue until you came with a pleasured moan of his name as your pussy squeezed around his long thick fingers. "There you go, just like that." He caressed you through your orgasm, mumbling soft praises to you as you cried his name in absolute euphoria.

"Mmm," he hummed at the taste of you while slowly riding out your high as the movement of his fingers carefully came to a halt before overstimulating you.

He pulled out his wet fingers, sucking on them one by one like he had just finished the best meal ever, and to him, it was.

He sat up on his knees on the bed, and you watched on with dilated pupils as he threw his tank top off somewhere in the room.

Your bit your lip at the sight of his toned body, and you squeezed your thighs together at the mouth-watering beauty before you. He caught you staring him up and down, and he couldn't help but smirk at your lustful gaze. "On all fours," he commanded and smiled once he saw you crawling over to him on the bed.

Without him even having to tell you, you pulled both his bottoms down, watching as his dick stood up right in front of your face. Your eyes gleamed with pure lust eyeing the head of his cock that was already covered in pearly precum. "Turn around for me, baby" Once you were turned around and on all fours, he smoothed his hands over your bare back, arching it by pressing down on your lower spine. "Baby, I just cleaned you off, and you already made a mess," he teased when he saw more of your essence escaping your quivering hole.

"Sorry, Daddy, I c-can't help it," you whined pathetically and wiggled your ass, silently begging him to do something to you.

He kicked off his pants the rest of the way and rested his warm heavy length on your backside, rubbing his cock between the crevice of your ass teasingly, he smiled to himself when your body tensed each time his sticky tip brushed past your tight rim. "That's okay, baby," he assured you with a gentle kiss on your spine. "That's just how daddy likes his little girl all wet and messy," he says with a honey-like tone while gripping your hips. "Daddy loves cleaning you up after" he placed his palms on your butt, spreading your asscheeks and pushing his tip at your entrance before sinking inside of you.

"D-daddy," your moans were loud but definitely not exaggerated. Even though he had just barely gotten his tip in, it already felt amazing.

"You like taking daddy's dick?" He pushed in deeper, groaning softly until he was buried to the absolute hilt, not giving you enough time to adjust nor answer his question.

You dropped your head down and gripped the bedsheets tightly when you felt him pulsing deep inside you. The thickness of his cock splitting you open was too overwhelming. It was the most pleasure you've ever felt in your whole entire life.

"Y-yes," you managed to stutter out as he created a steady rhythm, slowly fucking into you from the back.

"You love taking daddy's dick, huh?" He asked with a teasing tone.

"Fuck yes, I love taking your big dick, Daddy" Your toes curled in pleasure as you arched your back as far as it could go so you could feel every last inch of him.

"Such a naughty little thing," he chuckles and spanks your ass lightly, the small noise bouncing off the walls of the hotel room. "Baby girl, I wish you could see how your pussy is just sucking me right in" he groaned at the sight of your cunt lips wrapped tightly around his girth. "So good at taking what daddy has to give" he caressed your ass with his large palms picking up the pace once you adjusted to his size a bit more.

He squeezed your plump ass gripping the flesh tightly as he angled his thrust to hit deeper, causing the headboard to bang against the wall with each harsh slam of his hips.

"Ah ah ah," You shrieked each time his tip brushed against your cervix, and you involuntarily squeezed his length. He kept ruthlessly pounding into you despite how tightly you clenched his dick. His sweaty thighs smacked against yours, creating loud clapping noises in your guy's hotel room. "Daddy!" You mewled out into the mattress.

"You feel so fucking good. Daddy could stay in your tiny little pussy forever, baby," he grunted out, and you could have sworn it was the hottest thing you've ever heard. Just when you thought it couldn't get any better, he started snapping his hips into you roughly, and the bed began to squeak as his balls smacked against your swollen clit, causing your eyes to roll in the back of your head.

"Fuck” you whimper when one particular thrust makes you slip forward and lose your balance. He fell forward with you, but that wasn't going to make him let up. He continued sliding in and out of your used hole relentlessly.

He hooked his arm around your tummy with one hand to keep you secure while the other reached around your body to stimulate your clit as he leaned on top of you, pressing his sweaty chest on your back and wildly bucking his hips into you. "Come on girly, cream your daddy's dick. Get it nice and messy baby," he panted next to your ear, sloppily kissing your jawline and the corner of your lips.

"Cumming, Daddy!" The words he spoke, mixed with his soft fingertips rubbing your delicate clit in circles, sent you over the edge, and your walls spasmed around him length uncontrollably.

"There it is," he talked lowly in your ear. "Good girl"

"Fuck! Daddy, please cum inside me," you pleaded.

"Yes, baby girl," he moaned into your ear, and there was no way he could resist the urge to let himself go at that moment. The feeling of your warm cunt squeezing around him so deliciously was too much for him to handle. "I'm about to cum” he panted next to your ear, and just seconds later he was releasing his seed inside your hole, whimpering as his orgasm overtook his entire body. "Fuck” he whimpered while slowly stroking your walls and riding out your highs together.

Your pussy restlessly convulsed around his dick, milking him the same way you did in the minivan earlier.

"You just made daddy cum so fucking hard, baby," he chuckled breathlessly in the air, and he can't remember a time when an orgasm felt as good as the ones he had with you.

He slowly pulled out halfway, only to push inside again fucking his cum back into you.

"yes, Daddy," you whined helplessly into the mattress when you felt his dick slipping in and out of you with ease due to both your guys' cum.

You loved the wet slippery feeling of his throbbing dick rubbing and caressing your overstimulated walls.

“Feels so good,” he whispered and closed his eyes while placing wet kisses all over your neck.

You felt too good to him, and he didn't want to stop no matter how many times he pulled out and then bottomed out again. He could never get used to how wet and warm you felt as you hugged his dick so perfectly, and he wasn't lying about staying inside of you forever cause if he could, he definitely would.

You both moaned in overstimulation after a while, so he slowed his pace to drag out this moment for as long as possible cause neither of you wanted it to end.

But, eventually, the exhaustion kicked in, and you both began to feel sleepy after the steamy exchange.

He very reluctantly pulled out of you and tiredly rolled you over on the bed, diving between your legs and licking up the mess he made. "Mmm," you moaned and curled your toes into the soft mattress from the feeling of his warm saliva-coated tongue licking between your glistening folds.

"Told you daddy loves cleaning you up" he winked and stuck his tongue out again, gently lapping up everything before it even hit the bed.

He placed a gentle kiss on your pubic bone and crawled back on top of you, lacing his fingers with yours and resting his cheek beside your head.

"Can't believe we have this whole room to ourselves for nearly two weeks," he mumbles exhaustedly with a sleepy smile on his face.

Naturally, you already knew what he was implying.

"Me neither," you giggle at the not-so-innocent idea he had come up with.

He smiled tiredly before kissing the tip of your nose. "Goodnight, girly" his eyes fluttered shut as a satisfied sigh left his lips.

"Night, hee," you whisper and kiss his cheek before shutting your eyes and drifting off to dreamland with him.

Needless to say, you couldn't wait for tomorrow.

FIN

Thank you for reading. Please reblog and leave feedback! - 🐹

#heeseung smut #enhypen smut #enhypen heeseung smut #enhypen heeseung #heeseung #lee heeseung smut #enhypen #lee heeseung #heeseung x reader #smut

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hsllfirescoopsreblogs · 1 month

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✦◃✦▹✦◃✦▹✦◃✦▹✦◃✦▹✦◃✦▹✦◃✦▹✦

「 ✦ Joel Miller ✦ 」

╰┈➤18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all joel miller stories i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some with have summaries if provided <3

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

𓆱 declined pt2 pt3 by @alltheirdamn

❀You're on a cross-country road trip when your tires blow, and you're forced to get them fixed at a small town mechanic shop. When your card declines, you only have one other option to get your car back.

𓆱a happy man by @psychedelic-ink

❀when your friend sets you up on a blind date, you had no idea how impactful it would be.

𓆱once again in your arms by @foli-vora

❀the day of the outbreak, reader and baby were in town and she couldnt call joel (or viceversa) cause the phone lines were down. they were separated for a few years until they arrives at the quarantine zone he's in, and he recognizes them in the crowd.

𓆱invisible sting by @quin-ns

❀ bill and frank host. tess is jealous. joel is confronted with his feelings. you cry over a shower

𓆱snowflakes, a fireplace, and you by @swiftispunk

❀you get more than you bargained for when you end up snowed in at miller's inn on christmas eve.

𓆱 seams by @fuckyeahdindjarin

❀seamstress!reader

𓆱 joel drabble by @suzdin

𓆱 as long as you want pt2 by @auteurdelabre

❀ When you're injured in the stables one morning your patrol partner and enemy Joel Miller is the only one there to help.

𓆱 @stylesispunk

❀ the not so invisible string

- you and Joel were made right for each other in the wrong time. Now, thirteen years later your paths crossed when both of your daughters get in trouble at school. Would be the right time for you now?

❀ i couldn’t want you anymore

- when Sarah's mom came back into Joel's life to fight for their past relationship, Joel needs to convince he is in a happy relationship with the florist next to his gallery in order to make her go away. The problem is, he and the florist can't stand each other's guts or that it's what he thinks.

𓆱 the falling pt2 by @getitoutofmymindwrites

❀you catch Joel cheating on you. The world comes crushing down.

𓆱 greener memories of better men by @netherfeildren

❀Best Story of the Day! South Austin elementary school started a “Breakfast With Dads” program but many dads couldn’t make it and several students didn’t have father figures. The school posted fliers at the local YMCA’s for 50 volunteer fathers… 600 different people from all backgrounds showed up…

𓆱 jealous by @eufezco

❀you’re a little jealous of tess.

𓆱 soft sweet by @cavillscurls

❀You share your first kiss with the last man you ever expected: your older, grouchy, overly protective patrol partner, Joel Miller.

𓆱 5+1 by @bluebeary-jay

❀5 times you wanted to kiss Joel, and 1 time it actually happened

𓆱 needs by @toxicanonymity

❀Joel wants to find a bed before you go all the way, but neither of you can wait that long.

𓆱 wildflower and barely by @yellowharrington

❀after deciding to change your age range on a dating app in hope of a change of scenery, you stumble across joel miller.

𓆱 arms tonite by @motherjoel

❀basically its YOU who gets stabbed by the baseball bat. joel isnt good with feelings. david does not exist david cant hurt anybody. a bit of angst and a bit of fluff. also LOOSELY based on arms tonite by mother mother

𓆱 don’t take the girl by @alt-vera

❀when faced with a life-threatening choice, joel miller makes a surprising confession.

𓆱 feels so right by @fake-bleach

❀Your college boyfriend's a dick, and it doesn't help that he dragged you along with him to a bar just to treat you like shit. You plan on catching a ride home after an incident between you two, but turns out that your dad's best friend's there too, and he saw everything. He ends up offering you a ride instead, but there's no promises that you make it back home for the night.

𓆱 sweetheart by @dustydaddyyy

❀you're home from college for summer '99 to visit your parents, when your eye wanders upon their next-door neighbor, joel miller.

𓆱 honey stained hands by @undercoverpena

❀He knew what Jackson was when he arrived the second time. A communal, a place where everyone chips in. It's why he doesn't turn his nose up when he's given menial tasks. One of which, is fixing his neighbour's porch. His neighbour, who is pretty and smiles too sweetly, bakes cakes for special birthdays, and stares at the toolbox he's been given with a haunted look, one which raises more questions than answers.

𓆱 @joelscruff

❀softdom joel

-a collection of important moments between you and joel miller, your grumpy new patrol partner in jackson, wyoming.

❀one thing im missing

-you and joel accidentally end up falling asleep together, and what follows is the beginning of a quiet and tender relationship neither of you saw coming.

𓆱 @punkshort

❀somewhere to run

-You move to a small town in the middle of Texas to escape your past and start over. You don't expect to fall for the town's handsome sheriff.

❀i hate when you’re right

-After a heated argument with Joel, you finally convince him into leaving Jackson so you could explore a store for new clothes, and what happens could change your life forever.

𓆱 @eupheme

❀ in the woods somewhere

-When a break-in startles you awake, it’s hard not to assume the worst. But when the thief is revealed to be a teenager just trying to help her wounded guardian - you find your heart softening.

❀ are you mine?

-A change in your usual patrol schedule, a dash of over-protectiveness, and a gossipy partner leads to you desperately wish you could turn back time

𓆱 @gutsby

❀ hating game

-Celebrating your dad’s birthday at the yacht club becomes damn near unbearable when Joel Miller brings a date along too. Jealousy and hate sex ensue.

❀ abstaining game

-The only thing worse than an anti-sex retreat is an anti-sex retreat with your former fuckbuddy and dad’s best friend. Especially when sharing one cabin.

𓆱 kiss to kiss by @jobean12-blog

❀Joel is grumpier than usual and the only way to make it better is YOU.

•MASTERLIST

•PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS MASTERLIST

hopefully all links work, let me know if not <3

last updated april 16, 2024

#joel miller #tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller series #joel miller oneshot #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller smut #joel miller imagine #pedro pascal

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