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#It’s prison and of course there will be triggers
reddiamondyeet · 11 months
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#what the fuck what the actual fuck#haven't we suffered enough. really bretney? really?#how the fuck is he going to deal with this? besides not of course. and to think his anger issues were getting better#the fact that he could have a fucking record over this bullshit she's spewing. i'm going to fucking hurt someone#fuck you bretney fuck you fuck you fuck you. i hope your pathetic boyfriend is murdered by that stupid drug dealer you live with#i'm a prison abolitionist but I make an exception for you. you had your chance. you were given mercy. were given help. you still did this#you took the support you were given and willingly threw it in the trash cause you didn't want redemption. you didn't want to get better.#you had everything you needed to be a better person and you made the same mistake you did last time. but i'm not going to chose mercy again#not this time. not after you painted me as a victim who can't defend themselves and my own fucking brother as an abuser#we'll see about me being the victim. we'll fucking see.#i've had enough of you making my mother want to die. i've had enough of seeing my father cry. i've had enough of my brother's breakdowns#i've had enough of telling my parents i'll go to puerto rico again if need be. i've had enough of you.#and i know it's not a coincidence that this happened only five days from my birthday.#i hope if we get this case dismissed that by the end of it i won't have to ever worry about you doing this again.#red rants#i should probably trigger tag this but i'm too out of it to think of what to tag it as. whatever.
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gremlingottoosilly · 20 days
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Married!reader who's husband's abandoned them and skipped town after borrowing money from Mafia!König
You thought your husband’s love for you was more than his love for money - and you were deadly wrong. Poor, abandoned little thing you are - Konig almost feels pity for you, with the way you were still clinging to her hope that he will come back for you and together, you’ll go about your merry way…of course, life sucks and it’s not what is happening here. Of course, your loser of a husband never knew that the biggest asset he could ever introduce to then debt collectors is his smoking hot beauty of a wife - and you never thought that he will actually abandon you here. Now, standing in your small kitchen, still wearing your adorable pink apron and ring held on a gunpoint by the most notorious cutthroats of the city, you know better. Horangi is the most ell known hitman of KorTac, and he knows the tastes of his boss more than anyone else - maybe, this is why you weren’t just held for ransom in hopes that your husband will come back, but was pushed deeper, held as a pretty toy for the boss. Not that you knew this at the moment.
Konig introduces you to a very few options. You can refuse to be his little bird, throw away all of his good will intentions and be a little bitch - so he wouldn’t feel too bad about killing you. Or, preferably, you can ask him to be soft with you, you can plead him for forgiveness for you and your husband - and he will take you as collateral instead of just fucking and killing you afterwards. You’re a good girl, so, of course, you plead him to be gentle. God, he just doers the sight of you on your knees, your house dress is making the scene look all the more domestic and, dare he say, adorable. He can’t help himself - he kisses you, kisses you like there is no tomorrow, and he is acting like it’s no big deal, either. He gets you up on his lap and this is your earned placed from now on - even when he is busy with meetings and talking to very, very evil people, he will keep you with him as if little lucky charm. Grasping your thigh and laying with the soft flesh every time you wince at the blood or a rude word being thrown around the room. You’re from a good family, after all, you aren’t used to the harsh ways of this business. Good girls are hiding their faces in their husband’s chests as their husband kill the traitors with a soft, tiny promise of doing the same with you if you to ever disobey him. But you’re a smart cookie, so you try your best to forget that this is even happening. You put a smile on your face and act all lovingly and gentle even with his crooks and thugs - they all adore you, always knowing the difference between common whores that boss occasionally has, and you, his prettiest girl.
You would sit beside him in clubs, too - he drags you out with him, mostly to turn down the girls who are chasing him like little fireflies, and also because he wants to have you available for a quick fuck while he is being served drinks. He wants all of you with him on a silver platter - even if for the first few times you are together, he had to press his gun against your temple and threaten to pull the trigger if you won’t be his good girl. You learned to suck him off just right while he is discussing the fate of your husband with you. You learn to just nod to whatever torture he is proposing to your poor hubby and smile when he pets your head and says that he will keep you with him - not just as a collateral anymore, but as a girl that rightfully belongs to him. You don’t want to be referred to as his girl - it there is really isn’t much of a choice. You’re other his girl, receiving expensive gifts and money for just being with him, or you are a wife of a man who has a debt to him - so, you’re a liability, a hostage, a prisoner. At least now, you can pretend to be an actual wife instead of, well…whatever you are, really. Konig bought you a ring and talks about the wedding, but you know it’s just a bluff. You hope it’s just a bluff.
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paarthursass · 7 months
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Baldur's Gate 3 Companion!Tav Ask List
What if your Tav was a recruitable companion, instead of the main character? (contains major spoilers for the game, and for some dark urge runs as well)
General
Where can your Tav be recruited?  Are they first encountered on the Nautiloid, or in the Nautiloid crash region?  Or are they not recruitable until a later act?
Do the other companions have special comments or reactions upon recruiting your Tav?
Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?
What sort of general actions raise or lower their approval?
Are there any instances where your Tav can permanently leave the party, depending on player character actions?
Do they have any secrets that can be revealed?  What are the prerequisites for this secret coming to light?
Do they have their own personal quest that spans the course of the game?  Can it take different branching paths depending on the choices the Player Character makes?
What do they say when the Player Character asks them to stay in camp?  How about when the Player Character asks them to come adventuring again?
Does your Tav have any escalating conflicts with one of the other companions, like Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s knife-fight?
Are there any unique NPCs associated with your Tav that can show up during the course of the game?
Are there any moments in the game that trigger unique dialogue for your character? (Like Gale’s anecdote about the barfight after you save the goblin prisoner) 
Story Specific
How does your Tav advise the player character when it comes to the Dream Visitor?
How do they advise the player character on Raphael?
How do they react to Astarion biting the Player Character?
How do they react to the Player Character letting Abdirak whip them?
How do they react to the Player Character taking their first tadpole power?
Will they stay with the Player Character regardless of siding with the goblins or the tieflings, or is it possible for them to leave the party permanently?
What can they be found doing at the tiefling/goblin party?
Do they have comments on who the Player Character chooses to spend the night with? 
Do they have unique dialogue if the Player Character lets them die when they steal the Blood of Lathander?
How do they react if the PC licks the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar?
What do they say if the PC tries to force them to go up on stage with Dribbles the Clown?
Is it possible for your Tav to be kidnapped and replaced by Orin?  How is Orin's deception revealed?  How do they react to the PC rescuing them in the Temple of Bhaal?
How do they react to the PC either allowing Astarion to ascend or convincing him to spare the 7000 spawn?
How does Tav react to the PC becoming a mind flayer?  Can they offer to become one themselves?  Does their reaction change if they’re romanced? 
How do they react when the Dark Urge first reveals their amnesia and murderous thoughts to them?
How do they react to the Dark Urge killing Alfira?
If romanced, how do they react to the Dark Urge trying to kill them in Act 2?
Romance
Is your Tav a romanceable character?  Are there any specific requirements to romancing them?
Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough?
Are they a polyamorous or a monogamous option?
Do they have a special romance scene at the tiefling/goblin party?
Does the romance have different branching paths, or just one route to take?
How do they react to the player character breaking up with them, or choosing another character over them?
What questions can Zethino ask the PC about Tav in the Love Test? 
If they’re poly, do they have a reaction to the PC engaging in a relationship with Halsin?
How do they react if the PC has sex with Mizora? The Emperor?  Haarlep?
Will they join in with the PC and the Drow Twins, or no?
What are Tav’s plans for the future?  Do they propose to the PC, or is marriage not something they’re interested in?
Free space! Share anything from your companion!Tav au!
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ilsanslut · 5 months
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꒷♡꒷ THE DUKE'S PET!
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♰ featuring: wriothesley. [genshin impact]
sypnosis: what you get from being wriothesley’s pretty puppy. content/trigger warning(s): 18+. smut mentons. PUPPY-HYBRID!READER. GENDER NEUTRAL!READER. spanking. shoe-humping mentions. cock-warming. orgasm denial. dacryphilia. overstimulation. obvious pet-play themes. name calling/degradation. punishments. tummy bulging. sharing mentions (clorinde + neuvillette). ꒷꒦
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S PET INCLUDES being given to him by none other than the iudex of fontaine himself, neuvillette, as a “gift” of sorts. more so, you were a prisoner who personally denied your trial since you knew you were guilty, so neuvillette thought of a fitting place for you instead. he knew that wriothesley wanted a pet to keep him company while within the walls of the fortress of meropide, but he refrained due to it being cruel to keep an animal somewhere in which they could never see the sun. however, a puppy-human hybrid should suffice well enough, right?
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S PET INCLUDES him not knowing what the fuck to do with you once he first got you. he understood how to take care of a dog well enough, but you were mostly human and had greater intelligence than that of a dog (most of the time). he seemed a little put-off by you at first, tensing up when you came to him for pets and affection, picking you up by the armpits (even if you were taller than him) and sitting you down on the couch of his office when you tried to smother kisses all over his face, pulling you by the back of your shirt while hissing a quick “quit it” every time you growled at someone who entered his office—even his guards, and even those times when you tried to mark his office as your territory . . .
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S PET INCLUDES him taking his sweet time to warm up to you, but once he grew comfortable with your presence, you became the most spoiled pup around. he got you your own pretty collar, but of course, in his own aesthetic. a thick, studded black strap with ruby gems and a silver loop in the center connecting to a crimson pendant ringed in silver, with his initials engraved on the back. he bought you your own toys (even though you were more inclined to gnaw your sharp canines on the steel of his boots), and he even purchased a separate couch for you in his office for your afternoon naps with your name engraved on the gold that lined the backrest.
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S PET INCLUDES going to the surface world with him any time he has a particular errand to run or just when he has free time. (he most definitely does that thing where he says a simple phrase like “outside?” or “walkies?” and has to restrain himself from cackling as he watches you go beserk in your own excitement.) hours are spent in the city of fontaine shopping for new items for you, such as clothes, toys, collars, etc. your days typically end with him allowing you to expend the rest of your energy chasing squirrels or birds in the fontainian wilderness until you eventually tucker yourself out and he carries you back to the fortress.
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S PET INCLUDES being his little (or big) lap dog whenever he’s sitting in his office. whether he’s in the middle of signing off on a boatload of documents or talking with someone who entered his office, you’d shuffle your way into his folded arms and perch yourself on his lap, nuzzling yourself against his chest. he was never one to deny you affection (unless you were bad) and would always indulge in praising you whenever he deemed fit. scratches behind your ears, on your belly, gentle kisses to the forehead—you name it! wriothesley would give it all to you since he just couldn’t say no to you. that is, until he was forced to.
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S PET INCLUDES him forgetting that while you are human, you still have the high-energy canine instincts of whatever breed you’re mixed with. that means you often get yourself into trouble more than you’d like. dashing over to others to steal their food at the coupon cafeteria because it smelled soo yummy, growling and picking fights with either the inmates or the guards who were simply minding their business, chewing on wriothesley’s boots, bookshelf, and the wood of his desk because you were bored, humping his leg or whatever you could get your needy parts on whenever your heat rolls around, and finally, his last straw, you tearing up the important documents and registration papers of the inmates because you were fed up with his silent treatment punishment.
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S PET INCLUDES includes cowering and whining in fear when you see him towering over you, a steely glare in his eyes, and a deep scowl on his face as his chest rises and falls heavily from this thoroughly wasted patience. his fists would clench so tightly by his sides that you could hear them grinding against the leather of his gloves and the metal of his rings. you would give him your best puppy eyes and cutest whimpers to try and appease his anger, but it was futile. then he would utter the words that always sent a chill down your spine.
“bedroom, now.”
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BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S NAUGHTY PET INCLUDES you shaking your head at him and whimpering out a ‘no’ when he orders you to his quarters. at first, he’s dumbfounded—stunned that you would even dare to disobey him when he had given you a clear, firm order—and then he’s laughing. it’s dry and humorless, and it strikes fear in the depths of your trembling little being. however, before you could react, his hand is threading itself non-too-kindly into your locks and dragging you along the steel floors of his office until you’re in your shared bedroom.
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S NAUGHTY PET INCLUDES knowing that he’s not a fan of verbal reprimanding. when he needed to correct your behavior, he was always physical. he wastes no time sitting on the edge of the bed and discarding whatever bottoms you were wearing before slinging you over his lap and popping a series of quick swats onto your ass cheeks, ringed-fingers and all. if you dared to try and use your fluffy tail to negate his hits, he was snatching it in a firm grip at the base and snarling out a bone-chilling “behave” before he would rain down more spanks onto your reddening cheeks until you’re a sniffling mess in his lap.
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S NAUGHTY PET INCLUDES you being unable to hide the arousal brewing from your nethers from being punished on wriothesley’s lap, accidentally giving yourself away when you shift on his lap, and the lewd squelch of your arousal squishing from your sex and his thigh is picked up by his stupidly good hearing.
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S NAUGHTY PET INCLUDES feeling your nethers throbbing when he utters out a “oh?” in that breathy growl that makes your head spin. “whats this?” he would inquire as he scoops up the milky fluid with two of his digits, not waiting for your pitiful answer as he uses the liquid as lube to stroke your sex with a teasing touch. “getting off on being punished?” he continues through your whimpers as your legs flail behind you from his increasing pace. “what a filthy mutt you are.”
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S NAUGHTY PET INCLUDES being edged until the depths of the sea grew dark from the long set sun and illuminated from the moon hanging high in the sky. you’d be brought to the brink of your orgasm time and time again; however, every time you were about to reach your high, wriothesley would pull away, mocking your frustrated whines and begging whimpers with a faux pout of his own. “aww, my poor baby.” he would pout in an insincere tone, using his drenched fingers to wipe the tears streaming down your cheeks. “you wanna cum, don’t you?” he’d ask, with his free hand gently stroking your sensitive sex. you would nod, babbling pleas and helpless cries for him to ‘please, please, let you cum because you’ll be a good pup for him’, only for him to grin cruelly down at you and go, “if you wanted to be good for me, you would’ve been so from the beginning. crazy how that works, hm?”
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S NAUGHTY PET INCLUDES when he finally does let you cum, he doesn’t let you stop. you’re gifted orgasm after orgasm until the sheets are ruined with your release, your poor body is trembling uncontrollably, your nethers are throbbing, and even the slightest breeze makes you wail from the overstimulation. you cry and cry and plead for him to be gentler with you, to please give you a break to let you catch your breath, but he only cackles at your misfortune and goes, “this is what you wanted, isn’t it? to make a mess like the filthy pup you are? so then take it, Y/N.”
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S NAUGHTY PET INCLUDES always being gifted with the best aftercare, no matter how tired wriothesley might be. he’ll whisper sweet nothings into your ear as he gently massages your sore limbs and nethers, praising you for being such a good pup for him. moreover, he’ll even state that he’s no longer mad at you just to see your pretty ears perk up and your fluffy tail wag. even when he’s pushed past the point of exhaustion, he’ll stagger into the bathroom, run a warm bath for the two of you, and carry your quivering body into the soothing waters. before he joins you, he always discards the messy sheets and replaces them with new ones, but not before letting them run in the dryer for a few minutes so that they’re nice and toasty for you.
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S NAUGHTY PET INCLUDES being his number one stress reliever whenever he needs to relieve some tension. you could be sitting docilely on the couch he brought you by yourself in his office, and he could just scoot his chair back while tossing his head back with a mighty sigh, and you would already know what to do. you’d prance over to him, and he would remove whatever lower garments you were wearing and dive right into you, feasting on you in your entirety until he was thoroughly relieved. if he was having a particularly rough day, he would call your name in a gruff tone and pat his lap to call you over. he would have you sit on his lap with his cock nestled deep in your walls, squeezing him so, so tightly as he tries to finish his paperwork, but he never can. nine times out of ten, it always ends with him tossing his paperwork aside, picking you up, and ravishing you right then and there on his desk.
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S NAUGHTY PET INCLUDES the amount of times guards and inmates have had to stutter over their words as they try to talk to or give reports to the duke, however, becoming thoroughly distracted by the sight of your pretty mouth swallowing inch after inch of wriothesley’s cock beneath his desk since you couldn't 'shut the fuck up and stop growling’ at the poor men and women who were just trying to do their jobs.
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S NAUGHTY PET INCLUDES servicing wriothesley’s friends whenever they visit the fortress. clorinde attaching a leather leash to your collar as she perches herself on the edge of wriothesley’s desk, using the lead to pull your kneeling form close to her pretty folds to eat her out while she makes your head dizzy as she praises and degrades you simultaneously. “what a well-trained pooch you have here, duke . . . such a pathetic, needy thing they are. i might just have to borrow them for myself sometime.” to which wriothesley, who was watching from over her shoulder with a possessive and lustful gaze in his eye, just shakes his head as he observes your lithe, sloppy, and greedy tongue eagerly lapping at the duelist’s glimmering pearl while your tail wags incessantly behind you. “nah, not a chance. they’re mine, clorinde.”
BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S NAUGHTY PET INCLUDES even letting neuvillette in on the fun every once in a while. naturally, he brought you along for the ride when he had to personally meet with the iudex to discuss some business matters. neuvillette was amazed at how well his plan had worked when he saw how well-behaved and obedient you were, especially considering how you had been at first, when he had to hold you at arm's length away from him by your scruff to prevent your pointy puppy teeth from gnawing into his arms. he too would indulge in you by clearing his desk of all paperwork and fucking you right then and there on top of the expensive oak. when he told you to bark, you would. when he told you to sit on his cock, you would ride him within an inch of his sovereign life. when he told you to cum, you would not hesitate to gush all over him and yourself, effectively making a mess of both of your sweaty bodies. “such an obedient little thing. i am almost saddened that i gifted you to wriothesley and did not keep such a pretty puppy for myself.” he would growl, his slitted pupils constricting to pinpoints as they observed the way his two draconic cocks bulged your tummy.
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BEING WRIOTHESLEY’S CHERISHED PET INCLUDES living out the rest of your days by his side as arguably the most spoiled and loved pup in the entirety of teyvat. you became his light in the darkness—his salvation from the perpetual state of solemn loneliness that he had isolated himself in, while he became your salvation in a surprisingly cruel world. you have never felt safer or more secure in your life than you did when you were with him. when he held you tenderly and whispered affirmations into your fluffy ears, you felt more loved than you had ever felt before. all in all, he was your second half, and you were his, and he’d be damned if he let anything change that any time soon.
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strawbeerossi · 6 months
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A Helping Hand
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Pairing: Gender Neutral!Reader x Spencer Reid
Description: You have an issue with staring at your professors hands.
Content/Warnings: Course language, Reader has some perverted thoughts, hand kink, finger sucking, sexual tension, fade to black sex.
Word Count: 0.9K
Kinktober Day Sixteen: Quirofilia
Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3
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Spencer Reid had sexy hands. That was a given. The prominent veins in his hands made you drool, wanting nothing more than to suck on his fingers or have that same hand wrapped tight around your throat. 
It was easy to discreetly stare, mainly telling your professor you tended to zone out quite a lot. It wasn;t exactly a lie, yet you didn’t describe the fantasies of having him shove two fingers in your mouth to keep you quiet while brutally assaulting your sex in his office after class. The vivid thoughts of feeling those large hands gripping your hips or bringing it to cover your mouth had you in a spiral.
You didn’t ever expect to feel these feelings towards a man who was old enough to be your father, however you weren’t going to complain. He was an attractive man and he knew that, carrying himself with a form of confidence that didn’t make him arrogant but made him self aware as to why so many people audited his class over the thousands of others that were probably more aligned with their interests.
You liked how patient he was, even despite his time in prison. He always had a smile on his face when discussing lesson plans, talking with his hands and it was truly the cutest thing you’d seen. He always enjoyed when he was rambling during his lectures, dumping every ounce of information on the subject with everyone else. 
Today was no different, Dr. Reid going into the intricacies of triggers in budding unsubs as well as what could be a trigger and what wouldn’t be. It was admittedly a boring lesson but thankfully, he was excited about the topic to ramble for the full hour of the lecture.
You’d been ‘zoning out’ the whole lesson, practically drooling over the sight of his hands as he did many gestures for his talking points. You could only imagine the trigger it would take to have those hands gripping your body, pulling you flush against him in the front of the empty classroom while he wandered your body with care, wanting to feel every dip and curve.
You were staying after class today, mainly to discuss a research paper that he’d given at the beginning of the week. As soon as the class was being wrapped up and you got the opportunity to catch your sexy professor alone, you jumped to it. “Dr. Reid,” 
Most of the girls in the class looked at you with annoyance, having similar ideas to you in order to have a fraction of the man’s attention.
“I was wondering if I could discuss my paper with you, I’m struggling to differentiate between triggers and stressors.” You didn’t really have trouble with it but he didn’t have to know that. With his million dollar smile, Spencer was gesturing for the page in your hand, which was essentially just a layout. “I can help you with that, you know, I figured you would have no trouble with the assignment. You know you are one of my best students.” He spoke as he was letting his eyes glance over the handwritten notes you’d had.
His eyebrow raised, looking back up at you. “You’re confused? These notes are perfect and you have a clear layout for your paper. Why would you pretend like you had no idea what you were doing?” 
Fuck. You handed him the wrong paper, it was supposed to be the one filled with mixed information.
“O-oh, I..” You paused while looking over in his direction while your cheeks were heating up from embarrassment. Spencer seemed to catch on though, chuckling. “You know you could’ve just asked to speak to me. I would’ve accepted it. Now, why are you really here?” 
“I, uh, well I wanted to just talk to you about the assignment.” You let your shoulders sink.
“You are a horrible liar. Let’s not forget that I am a profiler. Seriously, is everything okay?” The paper in his hand was being handed back to you, a soft squeak leaving your lips as his hand brushed against yours. “It’s nothing! I should go!” You panicked, ready to run out of the lecture hall before Spencer was grounding you by wrapping his hand around your wrist. “I notice the way you stare at me. Was this just an excuse to talk to me?” Instead of seeming uncomfortable, he looked intrigued. “Come here. Please.” He spoke while letting go of you.
Now you could run, however his voice was luring you closer, now standing on the other side of his desk. Your gaze trailed to his hands briefly, making your professor lift his hands up, almost as if he was giving you a better look at the large, veiny hands. “Quirofilia, or the attraction to hands, is actually fairly common in terms of attraction.” He caught you. Fuck.
“I-is it?” You asked, the male nodding as he offered a smile and brought his hand up to cup your cheek. “Very. Some people like being scratched, others like being caressed, sucking fingers is also another very popular method.” He listed off his facts, his thumb running alongside your jaw. This wasn’t real, was it? No, it couldn’t be. It sure as hell felt real, especially when the pad of his thumb was swiping over your lower lip.
You didn’t see a point in denying such an open invitation, your lips closing around his thumb once you’d taken it into your mouth. “You’re a finger sucker.” Spencer concluded, chuckling as your cheeks hollowed as you sucked and swirled your tongue around his thumb. “And a very eager one at that. Come here.” He murmured, now pushing the things on his desk out of his way, gesturing for you to perch your body on the desk as he was moving to run his hands over your clothed thighs.
“Let’s explore this kink together, shall we?”
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radiant-reid · 1 year
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If your up to this, could you write a smut where reader picks up Reid from prison and he's awfully quiet (she doesn't know he's horny as soon as he sees her) and so when they get home the first thing he does is fuck her 🤭
I had a dream about this and I just wanted to see someone write it lmao.
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no bc he's so pretty
You're handling him like he's glass, one breath away from shattering.
He hates it, but it's predictable. He's just been through something horrible, so of course, the one person who loves him most in the world would be gentle and supportive.
The problem is Spencer wants to be rough. In his three months locked in prison, he didn't see any of his usual stress relief- you.
"Are you..." You hesitate about what to add. No matter what word you said, the answer was obvious. He wasn't fine or okay or good.
"Glad to be out." He answers, reaching out to hold your hand.
You've been hesitant to touch him, unsure if it might trigger something in him, which is why you didn't during the drive. You were hesitant to talk as well, sure that he might need silence.
He needs you. So badly.
The inside of the apartment looks the same. The mug he had last used before he went to Mexico was still sitting on the coffee table.
You notice him fixating on it. "Sorry, I know you hate the mess." You explain. "I just... I couldn't-" Once you found out he wouldn't be coming home for a while, you were paralyzed, unable to touch anything of his.
"It's okay." He assures you, gliding his hand across your back. God, you missed him. Everything about him, but especially how he feels. Then he turns to look at you. "I want you." He says.
"I didn't want to be overwhelming, but I was thinking we could get Thai takeout, and I made cheesecake for dessert." You say, walking over to the kitchen. His eyes follow you, tracing the outline of your body that is so deep in his brain.
It wasn't what he meant, but he didn't expect you to figure he wanted sex first thing. He walks closer to you, grabbing your hips and pinning you to the bench.
You squeal at the sudden movement as a natural reaction, but it lights a fire inside you instantly. "Spence." You whimper.
"I want you, Y/n." He repeats, dipping his head to breathe against your neck. It's hot on your skin, leaving a wake of goosebumps. "I need you."
You roll your hips back into his. "Have me then." You whisper to him, turning your face so his nose brushes against your cheek. "Right here."
"Fuck." He groans. There's no time to waste. He hasn't been inside you in so long. "It's been so fucking long." He tells you as he quickly unbuttons your pants, pulling them down your thighs.
You help him by unbuttoning your shirt while he works on his pants. There's less foreplay than usual, just both of you stripping as quickly as you can.
"Wait, wait, wait," Spencer stops you as you lean forward.
You stop, turning to look at him. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, nothing." He assures you, shaking his head. His eyes soften, emotion taking over his features. "Sorry, I just wanted to kiss you." He says.
You can sense the nervousness in his tone, like he's worried you'll say no. "Baby." You coo, cupping his cheek. He's yet to shave, facial hair brushing against your skin. "You can kiss me whenever you like."
In contrast to how quick getting naked has been, he kisses you slowly, tentatively. "Thank you."
"I love you, sweet boy." You remind him, running your fingers through his hair.
"I love you more." He replies.
You peck his lips once more before he turns you around, and his fingers press through your folds, spreading you open and letting the slick sounds of how wet you are echo through the room.
He's checking that you're warmed up enough, not wanting to hurt you even if he needs to get his frustration out. When you feel the head of his cock against you, you spread your legs further apart, and Spencer pushes fully inside you in one swift moment, knocking the air out of your lungs.
"Fuck, Spencer." You moan, gripping the edge of the countertop.
"I know, I know." He agrees, kissing your neck. "So good." His teeth sink into your skin, and there is no doubt going to be a trail of marks. You don't care. Anything for people to know you're his. You're sure there will be bruises on your hips as well from how hard he's pounding you into the bench.
He doesn't take it slow, thrusting in and out of you with speed and force. You roll your hips back against his each time, trying to take as much of him in as you can.
"You're so deep in me." You tell him, feeling it all the way inside your stomach.
One of his hands moves off your hips, pressing your lower stomach where there's an outline of his cock. "Did you touch yourself while I was gone?" He growls lowly into your ear.
"Mhm." You admit in a whimper.
"Show me." He demands.
You move one of your hands off the countertop and move it to your clit, circling it with some urgency.
"Tell me how good it feels," Spencer instructs.
That low, gravelly tone has you clenching around him as you stutter out an answer. "Good. So fucking good, Spencer. Please don't stop."
"I won't." He promises, snapping his hips against yours. "Not until you're coming around me."
"I'm so close." You inform him, but from the increasingly loud moans and whimpers, he knows you're almost there.
"Come for me, baby." He begs. "Please."
You moan louder as you cum around him. "Fuck, Spence!"
He's there just a second later, pumping you full of cum before he rests his forehead on the back of your head while you both come down from your highs.
He pulls out of you gently, kissing your skin, and you turn around to look at him. "Hi." You say. "You doing okay?"
He nods softly as he looks at you, despite the fact you're completely undressed. "Yeah. I just really needed that."
"You can have it whenever you want." You promise, knowing there are likely to be more times when the stress is overwhelming. "I'm so glad you're home and safe."
"Me too." He agrees.
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spacebarbarianweird · 1 month
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Hi! I absolutely love your headcannons!! Would it be possible for me to request sick Astarion? Or Astarion with a sick Tav? :)
Hi! Thank you for your request! I think I can do both!
Masterlist
Headcanons
Caring for their sick partner
Astarion takes care of you
He isn't a nurturing type.
He doesn't really care about himself let alone someone else!
Besides, it's not like he used to hang out with mortals a lot.
During your post-game adventures, you end in the far north in the middle of winter.
Astarion doesn't feel cold, but he notices you feel uncomfortable near him - his body is cold, and he steals the heat you need so much.
It causes tension between you two - one of the first challenges for you as a couple.
During a fight, you fall through the ice and almost die in the dark cold waters.
Astarion saves you but the damage is done.
You are severely sick.
Astarion freaks out.
You are dying in his arms.
He has to save you. He won't lose you.
Astarion manages to dress you in dry and warm clothes. He leaves you by the fire for a bit to hunt - you need food, and Astarion needs blood to warm you.
Then, when you stabilize, he carries you to the closest village and gives you all the money you've earned in your travels for a room in the inn.
He spoon-feeds you and wraps you in the warmest blankets.
Sometimes you pout, refusing to take one more bitter medicine, but he can't take this nonsense - you are going to get better. Period.
When you wake up, still in fever, Astarion is always near. Either wrapping you with his blood-warm body or with his ear on your chest as if he was afraid your heart was going to stop at any given moment.
As the spring comes, you finally get better. Astarion gives you a bath, and you realize how itchy and sweaty your body is.
Then he lashes at you, of course.
You were reckless, you were risking yourself. How could you?
But you know he speaks out of fear, and you comfort him, promising to never put yourself in danger without a need.
You take care of Astarion
If you weren't a nurturing type, you wouldn't end up with Astarion.
The man needs help and care, something he never had.
You comfort him after the nightmares and kiss away his tears.
He doesn't need to be cared for physically - once the tadpole is removed, he regenerates, and it's impossible to wound him.
But he is a mental wreck who can have a meltdown over a trigger word or a cruel flashback after an innocent action.
But he is far from invincible.
He is being reckless and ends up surrounded by monster hunters.
They chain him in silver and leave him helpless on the ground to see the sun.
You manage to come to the rescue - and murder all three of them.
But as you fight, the sun rises, and it burns Astarion.
It's almost too late for him when you set him free and drag him to the shadows.
The regeneration is slowed down - the burns are as bad as if he survived a fire.
You give him blood. All you can do without killing yourself.
The assault causes one of the worst setbacks in his healing process.
Astarion is almost catatonic - curling in the darkest corner of the room in the fetal position.
You can only guess what prison his tortured mind is locked in.
You talk to him. Hug him. Takes care of his hair. Caress his back.
Days become weeks, weeks become months - and one evening Astarion is finally back.
He wraps his hand around you and nuzzles your collarbone.
By the end of the night, Astarion is his true self again, ready for everything freedom has to offer.
"I was there, in the tomb," he confesses. "I was locked there, in the dark, and all my life looked like a feverish dream."
"I am here, love," you say. "I will always be here for you."
You pretend you don't see his tears as you say it.
--
Tag list
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rdlain · 2 years
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Which prison would an enby be sent to?
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cultofdixon · 4 months
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Motherly Instincts
Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • It doesn’t go unnoticed how much you put your love into everyone in the group. Especially the Grimes’ kids. Daryl could only wish you’d take care of yourself • TW: Canon Violence / Sleep Deprivation / Anxiety / Over-Protectiveness
Requested by: Anon
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Everyone knew about Y/N’s relationship with the Grimes’ kids. She cares about them deeply and when Lori passed, one would say she took that motherly role out of a natural instinct. When the infusion of Woodbury folk came into the prison, Y/N has even been mistaken as Judith and Carl’s mother and of course people corrected them. Even her.
But even if she may not be their mother, or their blood for those who care about that aspect…she could careless what others say, nothing will stop her from protecting them as if they were her children.
Daryl always had a soft spot for kids and seeing Y/N with them, his fondness for her only grew. Even when their luxury of a community came crashing down with the return of the Governor…
The archer was only thankful to have found Y/N within the woods the second people started fleeing from the prison once the walkers and fire came through. They had Beth with them and even from their farm days, Y/N cared deeply for the girl.
“You think we’ll find the others?” Beth asks Daryl first as his neutral expression gave no clear answer but she knew he wasn’t very hopeful.
“If we don’t, they will find us” Y/N reassures the young Greene. “Maggie will do anything to find her family and with that said, we’ll also do our best”
As they found temporary shelter within the forest after running for some time, Y/N finished getting the fire going as Daryl finished with the trigger line of cans or anything he found from the trunk they all found shelter in when the herd came through.
Beth did her best to help even if trying to cut more like for Daryl resulted in her nicking her finger.
“Let me see” Y/N took her knife away for a second to check the cut as she used a bit of the water from a bottle they found to clean it. “I’ll help Daryl finish. You go ahead and get some sleep, okay?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, we’ll keep watch” She smiles picking up the string she was cutting and went ahead to help Daryl as he had paused to watch the two for a moment before finishing the job.
Once more of the night took them…Daryl sat propped up against a tree that connected two of the trigger lines as he watches Y/N rub soothing circles on Beth’s back while her head rest in her lap. She was wide awake and didn’t seem to be getting sleep any time soon but that didn’t stop Daryl from keeping himself awake.
Even if his exhaustion took him once that when he woke, it was morning and the fire was set ablaze once more. He quickly scrambled when no one was around but Beth was quick to make herself known.
“Sorry, Y/N said to leave you sleep more…”
“And where is she?” His worry spilled in his tone as Beth gestured into the woods.
The archer didn’t even get far after rising when Y/N made herself known to the two carrying a squirrel which resulted in a satisfied sigh from Daryl and a disgusted look from Beth.
Once the three sort of replenished themselves and set off to scavenge while also find any trace of the others…they only seemed to get themselves further into what else lies in the apocalypse.
Beth spotted a sign for a country club so they’ve decided to check it out and collect some things if needed. Daryl was the first to step into the building finding the hanging walkers as it brought an overall unpleasant feeling to the three. Y/N watches Daryl kneel down to collect some of the money and valuables he saw as she couldn’t help the scoff to escape her.
“What?”
“You think that stuff is more useful than food and water?” She was just being honest and it left the man a bit dumbfounded until walkers started banging on the door they came through.
“Come on!” Daryl exclaims gesturing the two to flood in as Y/N grabbed his shirt forcing him to enter along with her.
Throughout the entire place they found new clothes to replace whatever may be torn on their person and a few things that can carry water. The food was scarce and questionable. Beth found herself in a few predicaments with walkers but she handled them, even if the worry written all over Y/N’s face came out clear as day when she’d find her over the now dead walker after taking it out.
“Are you alright, hun?” Y/N frowns as Beth nods giving a reassuring smile before continuing on her way. She locked eyes with Daryl who came to check on them both as her body tensed slightly thinking of the others. “What?”
“She can handle herself” He exhales bringing his gaze to the floor. “Don’t gotta hover” and with that he continued on his sweep of the place.
After being in that place for a while, experiencing more than what they signed up for. The three started to move again…finding a chapel of some sorts or more so a cemetery with a church like building in the center of it all. Beth sprained her ankle resulting in Daryl carrying her on his back and Y/N taking care of any walker in their path, which he didn’t want. He wanted to take care of her.
“Here, prop it up” Y/N moved the other chair that Beth wasn’t set in to put her ankle up while Daryl checked the cupboards. “Anything good?”
“Got some pigs feet and jam. Sounds like my kind of meal” He jokes while handing Y/N a jar of jam as he expected her to look for a spoon but couldn’t help but stare when she scooped a good glob of it on her fingers.
Y/N glared back at his staring making him scoff followed by a short lived chuckle as he handed Beth the canteen of water they’ve got. They didn’t take everything, just enough to satisfy the achy feeling from being hungry and leaving the rest for whoever comes by.
But it wasn’t that simple.
It felt as if it was an unsettling sign for more bad shit to happen when a dog came on their doorstep stuck in the trigger line Daryl set up. Y/N went out completely to go after the dog because in her words “she has a soft spot for them” and it could lead to more people. But when both the archer and young Greene thought it was her return with the soft pound on the door—-it wasn’t.
Then everything went sideways. The two struggled to get out and once they did, they separated long enough for this mysterious car to come snatch up Beth. Daryl chased the vehicle for as long as he could but without his bike he couldn’t get far.
Lost the prison
Lost his family
Lost…
Daryl’s frustration left him defeated in the middle of the road as he thought about giving it up right then and there. But there was still a small possibility of finding any of the others that could’ve found his…yeah. While out there.
But of course he had to get tied in with a bunch of bad apples that reminded him of people Merle used to associate himself with during their drifter days. He simply wished that this Joe guy wasn’t talking about someone he cared about in terms of getting revenge for the death of one of his own.
Yet again, that was asking for a lot in the end of the world.
“These are good people…” Daryl frowns watching Joe keep Rick in a hold as he exhaled a dry laugh.
“See…now that’s where you lie” Joe hissed letting one of the Claimers force Daryl against the hood of the truck.
The second Daryl made impact, he was about to fight until he noticed something coming through the treeline. He couldn’t make out the image until suddenly a javelin like object came barreling through almost nicking him but getting the claimer square in the face.
“What the fu—-“ The claimer grabbing Carl was suddenly thrown off the kid as he quickly locks eyes with a bloodied Y/N. “Wait wait wait I wasn’t gonna—-“
Y/N didn’t even give it a second thought when shooting the guy as the gunfire led Michonne to quickly swiping the claimer pinning her with her katana. Then Rick instantly ripped the leader’s throat out before the remaining claimers could take in what just happened. Daryl quickly pulled the javelin Y/N had thrown out of the dead claimer taking out those remaining.
Once they were down, Daryl pulled the javelin out of the dead tossing it aside when he realized it splintered and is of no use anymore. He quickly brought his attention to Y/N who he wanted to shower with questions of where she was but she was currently latched onto Carl holding him protectively after what could’ve happened.
When the few decided to rest for the night, Daryl took first watch and was about to check on Y/N when she came to him instead.
“Are you hurt?” He instantly asks even if her eyes told him she was going to ask the same of him while she carefully brought her hand to his cheek. “I’m okay”
“I’m sorry for running after that dog…it was just that until this car came out of nowhere and—-“
“Took Beth…how far did yea get?”
“Not far. Got stuck in a mini herd and didn’t want to come back to you in case….” Y/N shrugged the obvious end to that sentence as Daryl’s concern only grew but she gave him a small smile. “I’m fine. Ended up surviving with their blood covering me…then traced back to the cemetery then the road…and here we are”
“Don’t…don’t stray again alright?”
“I promise”
And she did. She did for more than the archer, but for their family and the newbies that came along when the horrors of this sanctuary was one with cannibalistic tendencies…
It was the first of many tragedies.
When they found Beth and devised a plan or more so a trade for their family, no one expected her to get one last shot in…one simply wishes she didn’t have to die as a result. Rick was taken aback by the sudden gunfire as Daryl didn’t hesitate to put this Dawn bitch into the ground after taking out someone he deeply cared for.
The screams that escaped the eldest Greene—-the only Greene, will forever haunt those who’ve heard it. Daryl and Y/N especially.
The universe kept taking unfortunately. Tyreese was next and that brought a bit of self blame onto Noah as he avoided Sasha’s gaze every chance he got even when she got the group some food…we don’t talk about that.
After some time alone, Daryl returned from what was a needed moment even if he noticed Y/N’s worried expression when she caught a glimpse of what he done. But he brushed it off when Rick approached him with the sign that went with the mysterious water.
“Think it’s poisoned?” Daryl asks while the one that annoys him most currently, Eugene, bent down and picked up one of the bottles.
Abraham instantly smacked the bottle out of his hand once he unscrewed the top before smacking him upside the head. “Are you mad?!”
“We won’t know unless someone tries it!”
“Just because you screwed with us with useless information, doesn’t mean we want you dead” Rosita adds with a hidden debatable look from Glenn that no one noticed.
“We just need to hold out a little longer. We’ll find something” Y/N was quick to add and it was instantly met with a scoff from Sasha. “What?”
“I’m surprised you lived this long with that optimism of yours”
“At least there’s still someone with optimism in this group” Carol cuts in with a bit of a defensive tone for her family as Daryl was about to bite in. “We’ll give the last of our safe collected water to Jude and Carl, a few more days on the road won’t kill us”
“I agree” Y/N finishes such and before any more words could be exchanged, the cosmic whatever decided to grace them finally after all it’s taken.
The rain fell and it brought a few laughs from some, but much needed silence from others. Y/N shrugged her jacket off to cover Judith from the rain as Abraham and Carol went ahead with filling the bottles with the collected rain water. When the rain started to pick up into more of a storm, then Rick shouted for everyone to find shelter for the night and that led Daryl to reveal the barn he found from his moment before.
The barn was much needed even with the scare of it collapsing at least once because of the herd coming through. But finally…a moment to collect themselves and rest…
Daryl came back inside to switch from his watch with Sasha as he noticed Y/N fighting off sleep when watching Judith sleep comfortably in her father’s embrace and Carl struggle to sleep on the dirt ground of the barn. He wondered when the last she slept was and brought himself closer to her but stalled when he watches her gently stir the young Grimes.
“Come here…I’ve gotcha” Y/N whispers gesturing for Carl to lay in her arms and he was hesitant at first until he eventually brought himself into her arms. “I’m here…” she whispers to him as her words finally led him to relax resting his head against her chest.
“Go sit with her” Carol whispered to Daryl knowing of his feelings and how in the moment he worried for her. “Give her something to rest her head on” she pat his shoulder to make it obvious as he quietly brought himself to the corner of the barn where she sat with Carl curled up in her embrace.
As the archer got comfortable beside her, he watches her bring her jacket to cover Carl as he finally fell asleep.
“You should sleep” Daryl whispers to her as she tiredly brought her gaze to him a moment when she had her head rested on top of Carl’s.
“I’m okay”
“You’re not” He kept his voice low to keep the Grimes kid from waking. “I’ll keep you safe. You’ve got him, let me take care of yea”
The smile that graced her features that night he will keep to memory, especially the feeling of her warmth on him when Y/N finally laid against Daryl with Carl comfortably in her embrace. He brought his arm around her keeping her close and glaring at anything and everything that dared wake either of them.
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galedekarios · 6 months
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wyll: this was a hospital? feels more like a prison. gale: a common enough interpretation. sickness has a nasty habit of making you feel trapped, if only within the confines of your body. gale: i once spent weeks convalescing in the hospice of st. laupsenn after a nasty bout of ruddy pox. for all their kindness, leaving that place behind felt like freedom to me. wyll: i've always relied on the kindness of the healers and menders of the coast. better a cleric's healing touch than a chirurgeon's scalpel.
i'm assuming this banter is supposed to trigger upon entering the house of healing, but it hasn't triggered for me. still very much interesting. not only does it offer another insight into gale's past before the events of the game, but also the hospice he found himself in for weeks is interesting itself as well:
"The Hospice of St. Laupsenn (N73) is a Sancturary of Ilmater in the North Ward of Waterdeep. In the City of Splendors, worship of The Triad has long been subsumed by the Halls of Justice, Waterdeep’s temple of Tyr. After the Time of Troubles during the early stages of the Spellplague, large swaths of the citizenry were afflicted with fiendish plagues. While most recovered with clerical attention, for some the effects of the disease continued to linger, resistant to the healing effects of magic. As few Waterdhavians would have anything to do with the fiend-afflicted sufferers, for fear of catching the plague anew, the llmatari decided to create a place for the lepers. The Order of the Golden Cup erected the Hospice of St Laupsenn, named for the priest who tended those similarly affected in the aftermath of the Weeping War, and have continued in quiet service to this day. The hospice is funded by private charitable contributions (many of which come from the personal holdings of the Lords) and tithes from the Halls of Justice and the Order itself." [source]
i was at first playing around with the idea of gale suffering from such a long illness because he might have been affected by the spellplague. then again, the spellplague usually affected magic users mentally rather than physically, so this might really just be the pox, common in big cities and beyond of course, probably during his childhood.
if larian had kept to the lore and the timeline, the effects of the spellplague should have been more central to gale's childhood and made it much more harrowing, especially since he is so intrinsically connected and linked to the weave itself.
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Clean Shaven (S.R.)
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Summary: Reader helps Spencer shave after prison. Request: reader comforts spencer shaving for the 1st time after prison? maybe he gets triggered w a knife near his face? Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Comfort Content Warning: Razors, shaving, PTSD generally Word Count: 1k
MASTERLIST
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Spencer’s bathroom is more sterile than it’s ever been before. The scent of bleach is both calming and terrifying. He breathes it in, anyway. He stares down at his hands that are holding onto the counter like he might be able to break through the granite.
“Spencer?” you call.
He looks up and into the mirror. He doesn’t see you, though, because his eyes capture his full attention. They are still sunken, still bruised. It’s been two weeks, but it feels like yesterday. He knows how long it’s been because half of his face is covered by stubble.
The reflection feels alien. He runs a hand over his face to remind himself that it is real, only to find that it feels foreign, too.
“I can’t do it,” he whispers.
You know he’s talking about more than shaving.
There are no magic words to make these moments better. You have already exhausted every iteration of beautiful cliches, and you were left with the same broken heart.
You watch as your boyfriend paws and pulls at his skin while he scrutinizes his appearance in the mirror. You know there is a risk that he will slip away too quickly to stop himself.
There is a risk that he will forget where he is, but you have faith in him. So, you wrap your arms around his waist and hold him. Your hands settle over his heart that is beating quicker from the shock of kindness.
“You don’t have to do it,” you tell him.
He releases a shaky breath but holds back tears.
“But if you want to, you don’t have to do it alone.”
Spencer sits in the quiet, clean atmosphere. He breathes in the smell of bleach now mixed with your perfume. He closes his eyes. The world feels brighter without the light. Behind the thin skin of his eyelids, there is only the happiest versions of you and him.
This is exactly how he made it through.
This is exactly how you did it, too.
“Will you help me?” he says. His voice is small, and his hands are shaking when they rest over yours.
“Of course,” you assure him.
He lets out a breath with more force. The first thing you do is turn him away from the mirror. You can see his eyes moving quickly behind the lids, always searching for the origin of new sounds.
When the faucet turns on, he opens his eyes. His hand shoots out and grabs your wrist. His grip loosens almost immediately when you smile. Eventually, his hand falls back into his lap.
You are careful as ever when you bring the warm washcloth to his face.
It feels too much like fabric filled with rocks.
He flinches. You wait.
“It’s just a washcloth,” you whisper.
Spencer is breathing heavily through his nose. His jaw is clenched, and his eyes are strained to stay fixated on the fabric in your hand.
You touch him again. He accepts it begrudgingly at first. After a few moments, however, it feels familiar. Although the minutes dragged on and the cloth turned lukewarm, you are more than happy to wait. You would wait at each step until he was nuzzling against your hand or smiling through shaving cream.
The second part doesn’t take nearly as long. The airy fluff feels nothing like anything sharp. It is smooth and soft, and it reminds him of you. You rinse off your hands but do not pick up the razor just yet. Instead, you use freshly washed hands to push back his hair.
Spencer looks up at you with the most pitiful stare. His eyes are wide and filled with longing for something he feels unequipped to provide.
You know he wants to kiss you, but the lower half of his face is out of commission.
You kiss his forehead instead. You do this to make him happy because you know as soon as you pick up the razor, things will change.
They do.
“Wait,” he says.
You set the razor back down.
“We don’t have to do this,” you remind him. With a lopsided smile and a chuckle, you run your hands through his hair once more. “I love you just as much when you’re scruffy.”
“I know,” he replies, and you are surprised to see it’s also through a smile.
Even more to your surprise, Spencer is the one to pick up the razor.
“I want to do it, though,” he decides. “I want to do it myself.”
He turns his back to you. Almost immediately, he glances back to ensure you’re still there.
“You’ve got this!” you chirp happily with both hands raised triumphantly.
He laughs. When he looks in the mirror, he sees you. Between each swipe of the razor, he returns to find your smile.
His motions are imprecise and hurried. There are a few moments where he stops to catch his breath again. In those more difficult moments, he finds relief in the shape of your hand on his back. It is difficult, but it is not insurmountable anymore.
As the last bit of hair is rinsed from his face, he lifts his head once last time. You are waiting behind him, with a dry fluffy towel in hand to catch whatever droplets might remain—whether they be saline or tap water.
He is quick to turn to you. The razor clambers to the floor and his hands find their place on each of your cheeks.
You try to catch his damp face with the towel, but he pushes past your hands until your lips touch, instead.
He kisses you and there is no scratching of stubble.
There is one fewer sign of the torment on his body.
You kiss him back and drop the towel in favor of him.
He is made warm enough to melt into your embrace before he lets out a final breath of relief.
He smiles with clean cheeks, and he is as beautiful as he’s always been.
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alexandria-millie · 8 months
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I think my biggest issue with the way that Bucky’s trauma was handled in FATWS was that it focused entirely on the bad things he did as the Winter Soldier and at no point brought up the torture and abuse he was subjected to during his 70+ years as a prisoner of war. Addressing Bucky’s feelings of guilt is fine. That’s something that previous movies established, and of course it’s a part of the healing process. The problem is that every single time we see or hear about Bucky’s time with Hydra, it only ever references the parts where the Winter Soldier did something bad.
CATWS and CACW both showed the Winter Soldier doing bad things, and CACW even touches on Bucky’s guilt over it. The difference is that they also made sure to show the abuse Bucky was subjected to (the bank vault scene in TWS and the opening scene of CW for example). So yes, we know that the Winter Soldier was a ruthless assassin, but we also know that Bucky was subjected to horrific torture and stripped of his agency in order to make the Winter Soldier be that way. FATWS just glosses over all of that. The only scene we get (and it’s a great scene, to be fair) that addresses the horror of Bucky’s treatment by Hydra is the flashback to him in Wakanda when the triggers are finally removed. But then that scene feels really out of place when the rest of the series presents Bucky’s past as though it was something he had some sort of active choice in. I mean, one of the main plot points of the show involves Super Soldier Serum, and yet never once is it acknowledged that Bucky’s serum was the result of non consensual experimentation being done on him. It’s a perfect opportunity to address the complex feelings Bucky must have about it and they just waste it.
At the end of the day, it really flies in the face of the foundations set by the previous movies. Bucky is a victim, that’s clear, so why does FATWS feel the need to act like he has some responsibility for what happened to him? Why did they decide that when it comes to their character suffering from PTSD, they were only going to focus on how potentially dangerous he is? It’s just flat out poor writing tbh.
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animehideout · 22 days
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LOVE IS THE MOST TWISTED CURSE OF THEM ALL
GOJO SATORU X FEM! READER
PART 12
a/n: Hiiii I'm back with another chapter, only one chapter left till we reach the end if this story. I apologize for the late update, my schedule kinda changed and it got busier so that's why I wasn't able to write and post, but good news that I'm back now yay ✨❤️.
Anyways I hope you enjoy this part as well. Some Angst, so grab some tissues and a snack of course to munch on while reading 😀.
Enjoy your reading session, love y'all so much 🫶🏻
Not Proofread ❌ Slight smut at the end.
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You took another glance around the room, but didn't dare to ask any of your students about him. You sighed in disappointment but forced a smile to not worry your students and look suspicious or sad. You hated to admit it even within you, but you wished he was there, holding your hand till you awake. But you woke up surrounded only by your students, it's not like you don't appreciate them or they're not enough, you just wanted another kind of feeling, and that feeling could only be with your husband, Satoru. Once again you felt neglected by him even in this terrible condition.
Megumi was too focused on you, he knew right away by the way your gaze was shifting in every corner, every face in the room that you were looking for Gojo, he knew you needed him.
"Ehm, I'll go get Gojo since you're awake now" he said in a reassuring tone without meeting your gaze, and left the room to look for him.
"Where the hell did he go" he mumbled to himself.
"Hm Megumi? Is Y/n awake?" asked Nanami
"Oh yeah she's awake, and she's fine! By the way, did you, perhaps see Gojo around?"
"He's not here"
"Then where?"
"He'll be here later, don't worry about him"
"Nanami Sensei! I. Need. You. To. Tell. Me. please! It's important " he insisted,
With a tired sigh, he spoke,
"Alright! he's at one of the interrogation rooms at Jujutsu High, probably interrogating Mei Mei-"
"or my father"
and without further words, Megumi headed to Jujutsu High to bring Gojo to the hospital, to bring him to your side.
"Hey Megumi wait" yelled Nanami but je was already gone.
*1st Interrogation Room*
"Happy now? Where's that usual dirty smirk at? Gone?" started Gojo as he looked down at Mei Mei who got both her hands chained to the chair.
"How dare you chain me up? A well respected Jujutsu sorcerer!" she exclaimed angrily.
"Oh no no trust me, after releasing Toji from prison, paying him to kill my wife and putting the Jujutsu community in terrible danger, officially you're no longer respected" he spat and started to walk away
"NO NO PLEASE WAIT! GOJO WAIT I BEG YOU! I did this for you!" she started crying,
"I did this for you Gojo, just for your sake. You know about the prophecy, I couldn't let her exceed you and become stronger than you, you're the strongest Gojo and it should remain that way–please, I wanted to protect you–" she pleaded desperately, tears streaming down her cheeks, each sob echoed in the vast empty room.
With a mocking chuckle, he approached her again and bent down till he met her eye level, tilting his head to the side, his blue eyes piercing through her soul,
"oh yeah?" he started
"Y-es, yes just for you Gojo" she said with a soft smile while sniffing.
"Hah, pathetic how hard you're still trying, how hard you're still trying to manipulate me and get me to believe your lies–lemme give you the real fact behind all of this, the fact is that you desperately wanted Y/n to die. You knew Y/n will become something, more powerful than any of us, and of course your jealousy, ego and hate were triggered because another woman effortlessly stole the show and your desperate ass always wants to be in the spot light, taking all the attention, you've always wanted to br known as the strongest woman sorcerer, the perfect match for me, the strongest man! But all of that collapsed when I married Y/n" he paused and pointed his index finger at her,
"You desperately wanted to be her, you envied her even at her lowest, you're obsessed with her to the point that you betrayed the jujutsu world. But lemme tell you something, Mei Mei, Y/n didn't only steal the spot light, she also stole my heart! I love my wife, I love Y/n so much and if you dare to think of any possible plan that could possibly get you out of prison to hurt my wife again, then I'll end you–" he said calmly in a serious and low tone, moving away from her to open the door and leave.
"–end me? just like you ended Geto?"
she wanted to trigger him, to hit his weakest spot, to make his heart ache like hers and to see him all vulnerable, but he swallowed it, even though the name Geto was killing him and slicing him to pieces for years. His hand clutched the door handle tightly, turning his head, side eyeing her,
"Yes I'll end you just like I ended Geto"
Then he shut the door, leaving her all alone.
Right then, she knew she lost Gojo forever, and her last attempt to convince him by bringing Geto was only another reason for him to hate her even more.
"NO GOJO WAIT, no! don't leave me here! GOJO PLEASE"
She begged and begged, but for nothing he's left already and outside that room her screams are inaudible, no one is able to hear her loud cries, no matter how hard she tries.
..
Gojo reached the other door handle, moving into the next interrogation room,
"Gojo Satoru, we meet again" said Toji with a smirk, his hair falling on his face, his lip bleeding,
"Toji Zenin"
"I go by Fushiguro now"
"And I don't give a fuck, you're a criminal either way"
"Oww, too salty Satoru"
"I don't have time for this kind of chit chat, what was your plan to do to my wife?"
"Kill her obviously, duh!" said Toji rolling his eyes
"You son of a bitch, and you're proud of that, I'm not allowed to kill you, that was the higher ups call so be thankful for that, or else I would have put you through the most terrible death you could possibly think of"
"Are you threatening me? besides it wasn't my plan, it was your side chick's plan"
"The fuck did you say?" said Gojo angrily, taking quick steps to Toji punching him once again, making his nose bleed.
Toji started laughing hysterically,
"Alright you win, you win for the second time Gojo Satoru, but I don't think you won her heart, pity all this effort to save her is for nothing"
"Shut up"
"What? You think now you'll live happy ever after? That you'll start over and become a happy couple? Nah you're egocentric, selfish and fucking arrogant, and you've never known love and never will, I've spent three days with her and I can tell she can't live with someone like you. Both of you are far away from each other, two extremes, too empathetic and too apathetic. She'll leave your ass"
"I SAID SHUT UP" yelled Gojo, once again punching him,
"G-gojo?" said Megumi as he opened the door and witnessed it.
"Megumi?" said Gojo and Toji at the same time,
Megumi looked at Toji with what appeared empty eyes, but in the inside his heart was breaking into pieces.. He shifted his gaze to Gojo,
"Gumi what are you doing here?" asked Satoru
"Came to see you Gojo, you have to go to the hospital Y/n is awake and she was looking for you!!"
"D-did she tell you to l-look for me?" he asked hia heart skipping a beat,
"Nah I just figured out, you better go now"
"Wait aren't you coming with me?"
"No, I have to talk to him"
"Megumi! You know you don't have to stay here, you don't have to talk to him, he'll soon get the punishment he deserves–"
"I know, but he's my father and I need to ask him why!"
"Then I'll stay with you, it's not safe!" he reached to grab Megumi's arm,
"Gojo, please! just go to your wife, she's waiting, don't make her wait any longer! I promise I'll be fine" said Megumi with a smile,
As soon as Gojo left the room, Megumi approached his father standing right in front of him,
"S-son!"
"Why? Why did you do that?" said Megumi in a cold tone,
"Son please!"
"You've almost killed one of my close friends! Y/n is not just a teacher to me, she's my friend as well! and now I can't even look her in the eye, you know why?" he paused, trying to swallow back the lump that formed in his throat making him struggle to talk,
"Because of you! because of the shame I'm feeling whenever I see her or remember that MY FATHER WANTED TO KILL HER JUST TO GET SOME DIRTY MONEY FROM MEI MEI"
"Megumi! you need to listen to me! I had to do that!"
"No, there's no excuse that can get you away for murdering innocent people, first Riko and now attempted to do the same to Y/n just because Mei Mei told you?"
"I did all of this for you, to buy a house, a house that we can all call home! Where we can be a family again, me and you!"
"A family?" said Megumi in a mocking way,
"Yes, we can try again, I can fix everything, and make up for the years that I wasn't by your side–"
"You know what dad!"
"Yes son tell me!"
"I'm glad you left when I was young, I'm glad Gojo raised me and not you, or else I might end up a criminal like you. If my mom was alive she'd be the most disappointed in you, SHE WONT EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU DAD!"
"Megumi don't say please!" said Toji, tears forming in his eyes,
Megumi's words destroyed him because he knows they were true, his wife would be disappointed in him if she was alive.
"You ruined my life dad! Enough of it, stop trying to ruin others' lives just for money, just because you were neglected by the Zenin clan! Don't make others pay for what your clan did to you..." he added, taking steps backwards to leave the room,
"Son wait please! I'm so sorry I caused you all this pain, I'm sorry I wasn't there–"
"Just forget you ever had a son, just like what you did with your humanity....goodbye -dad"
with that he closed the door forever, not only the room's door but the door in his heart that he kept open for his father, wishing that some day, he would repent and fix his mistakes even though he knew deep down they can't be fixed. And now he's finally ready to let go, he can never forgive him for all this mess, for all these mistakes that he willingly committed.
Unable to keep it inside, unable to hide his true, delicate, sensitive self, after maintaining the cold, strong image for too long as a coping mechanism for always feeling inferior than others for being parentless. He finally let out the child thay was kept locked inside, and finally broke down into tears. With each loud sob, his chest rose and heaved with sadness. He cried because of the shame he felt, and because of the fact he's now letting go of his father, once and for all. He cried alone, hugging his knees like a baby, till it became hard to breathe.
..
But was he alone really?
"MEGUMI!!!!"
That voice, the voice that used to annoy him for telling jokes non stop, for laughing really loud and not letting him sleep, that voice now is saving him.
He looked up, his eyes puffy and red with tears.
Yuji and Nobara running towards him, worried expressions drawn on their faces, their eyes wide since it was the first time they see their friend shed a tear. They finally reached him, joining him on the floor.
"Megumi??! what's wrong buddy what happened?" asked Yuji his eyes softening,
"Fushiguro? Is everything okay? Why are you crying did someone hurt you?" asked Nobara her voice shaking with fear and worry.
He just started at them, not saying anything single word. Looking ay their genuine worried and confused faces, a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, realizing that his friends got his back, that they won't let him down and most importantly he realized that he doesn't have to feel alone anymore. They truly loved him and cared for him. He was too broken to realize that, he thought his dad abandon him because he hated him, so he grew up with that mindset; his father hates him let alone people out there. But now, finally realizing that love, friendship saved him, from himself, from his dark thoughts and now he can start anew.
Nobara waved her hand on front of his face,
"Hey Fushiguro??"
Without saying anything he hugged both of them, finally feeling the love he's been rejecting. Allowing himself to feel it for the first time and damn it felt good to have someone care for you, it made his heart at ease.
He hugged them really tight, refusing to let go, without hesitation they hugged him back in a comforting way, their warmth radiating.
"Awww Fushiguro-Kun is being soft" chuckled Nobara
"Shuh Nobara, we love this version of Megumi, geez didn't know you're a good hugger Fushiguro" said Yuji smiling,
"Aaaaa why'd you ruin the moment guys" groaned Megumi
"Nah nah we're sorry, we're just wondering where's the real Megumi and what did you do to him" she added,
"Nah it's the real Megumi here, you just unlocked a premium version. Get used to it" said Megumi pulling away from the hug a smile still decorating his face.
"Well for sure we'll get used to it" said Yuji and Nobara at the same time.
"Wait!! did you leave Y/n alone at the hospital, till Gojo arrives?" said Megumi in a moment of realization.
"Nah nah she's home now, we brought her at the dorms" explained Yuji
"Oh shit"
"What?"
"Gojo went to the hospital to see Y/n, so he won't find her there"
"Come on, he's a married man, his wife would tell him" said Nobara smirking
"Wasn't she supposed to spend the day there, till Shoko makes sure she's fine?" he asked again,
"Yeah but after you left the room to get Gojo she insisted to leave as well, she said she was feeling okay and doesn't need to stay there" exclaimed Nobara.
*At The Hospital*
Gojo pushed open the door of the room that you were in. A mix of anticipation and stress took over him, not knowing how he would behave in front of you, is he gonna hold your hand, kiss you? What was he going to say? Baby? My love? I missed you? All these thoughts disappeared when he found the room empty, devoid of your presence. Confusion clouded his features as he stepped inside, his eyes scanning the surroundings, trying to find any of your belongings, but there was absolutely nothing. Anxiety took over him, his heart racing inside his chest. He got really scared, thinking that someone abducted you, still terrified from the last incident that happened to you. With shaky hands he reached his phone to call one of his students, but before he can do he received a message from Nanami informing him that they moved you out of the hospital and took you to the dorms to rest there.
He let out a deep breath he didn't know he was holding, calming down slowly.
With a heavy sigh, he sank onto the edge of the bed, blaming himself for not being there when you woke up.
*Flashback*
You laid unconscious on the hospital bed after being treated by Shoko. No one was there except Gojo. He held your hand tightly, staring at your soft features as you were in your pretty slumber.
"I'm here Y/n, my beautiful wife, my princess" he whispered to you as you slept.
"I'm sorry, please wake up..wake up so I can tell you how much I love you, how bad I want to make you mine, how I want to fix things and start anew with you as a true husband, a husband that will love you, care for you and protect you, I won't let anyone hurt you.." he paused, remembering the state he found you in, on the floor, bloody nose, shirt almost torn off, his body tensed up.
"I'll punish them for what they had done to you" he added and left the room heading to the interrogation rooms at Jujutsu High.
*End of flash back*
*Time skip, night time*
Your students and Nanami already brought you everything you might need; food, water, some snacks and some manga books that Yuji gave to you to pass time.
You laid your back on the bed frame, grabbed a bag of chips, a manga book and started reading enjoying your own company, trying your best to distract yourself from thinking about Satoru.
Engrossed in the pages of your book and in your own world, the soft rustle of the door opening brought you back to reality. You already knew who it was, it was your husband Satoru. Even though, you were distant from each other, you got used to his footsteps. He closed the door behind and greeted you gently,
"Hii Y/n"
However, you remained absorbed in your reading, refusing to look up at him or even greet him back. He thought you were too focused on the book and didn't notice him arriving so he cleared his throat, attempting to get your attention this time and said,
"A-are you feeling better now? How's your leg?"
But again you remained silent, as if he wasn't in the room, as if his voice was inaudible to you. He received the message and realized that you don't wanna talk to him, and he respected your decision, he chose to not push too far especially that you're still traumatized from what happened to you.
With a resigned sigh, he took some clean clothes from the dresser, and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower that might wash the tiredness away. The sound of the running warm water that fell on his body mingled with the quiet of the room, a gentle reminder of the distance between you and him.
You put the book on your nightstand, and shut your eyes, you tried to go to sleep before he joins you again, you've already took your decision, you'll ignore him, you'll distance yourself even more, you won't let him pity you and help you because he feels sorry for what had happened to you. You refused to be the victim, you won't allow anyone to feel bad for you.
...
Opening the door again, he found you fast asleep, hugging your pillow for comfort. He smiled to himself as he saw your sleeping face.
He missed being in your presence, even if you were only sleeping. He dried his hair and then gently approached the bed, already dressed in his pajamas. The mattress sank as he joined you, getting under the covers. He used his elbow to keep himself up a bit while he watched you sleep. Your pouty lips that he craves to kiss, your soft skin that he wants to caress, your chest that rose and fell with each breath. It was the small details that made him fall for you, that made you so special. He was watching and watching till your comfy sight lulled him to sleep, and now he joined you, his head next to yours, his arms fell on your waist as he spooned you. Finally both of you not only sleeping under the same roof again all safe and sound, but being this close to each other.
.....
You woke up in the morning to him all over you, his arm laid comfortably on top of you. You rubbed your eyes, thinking it was a dream but it was reality. As much as it made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy, it made you feel sad as well. And the small smile that instinctively formed on your lips, disappeared.
"Maybe he just rolled over" you said to yourself, still convinced that whatever he was doing was everything and anything but love.
You pushed his hand away, getting ready to get breakfast with the rest of teachers and students as well. You missed those mornings, with Nobara talking nonstop, Panda eating everything on the table and Nanami annoyed whenever principal Yaga announced a new mission. You felt like family, you felt included but it's always something missing, the true love, the love of your husband.
It is indeed hard to live a one sided love story, realizing your feelings towards Gojo were more of a problem than a realization, maybe it could have been a lot easier if they remained undiscovered, because starting from today you'll live with the fact that your husband that you fell head over heels with doesn't reciprocate your feelings, at least that's what your mind told you.
The mind works in mysterious ways, sometimes when you're used to some kind of feeling, it becomes like a drug, so when you experience another feeling you always find a way to include that specific feeling again. And that's the case for you, you've been feeling lonely and unloved your whole life, and you thought you'd be feeling that way for the rest of your life not even giving yourself a chance to ask if he feels the same.
...
You walked towards the table, the food was ready, the scent of coffee was intoxicating. Your students already there, excited for food like every single morning.
"OH Y/N - SENSEI GOOD MORNING" said Yuji excitedly,
"Good morning Sensei" said the other students in union with a big smile.
You nodded smiling at their morning energy that was circulating in the air,
"Good morning everyone"
Nanami and Shoko joined, followed by Principal Yaga and then Gojo who came running and out of breath looking for you, but then letting a deep sigh once he saw you sitting around the table safe and happy. It became his new freshly unlocked fear; you not being by his side.
"Oh you're here" he mumbled,
"Huh Gojo what's up with that face? did you see a ghost?" said Principal Yaga
"I'm fine" he shrugged and then joined you, sitting on the chair that was right next to you.
He gazed at you, clearing his throat,
"You woke up early today, I thought about bringing you food to bed so you don't have to tire yourself" he started almost whispering.
You shoved the spoon full of rice in your mouth, not bothering to look at him. The others exchanged gazes but started eating shortly, not wanting to get into your business. Gojo started eating as well thinking about ways to approach you or find a key to start even a small conversation and get you to talk to him.
"So Y/n are you feeling better?" asked Nanami
"Yeah much better actually, thank you Nanami!" you smiled,
And Gojo felt his heart crash, as if he received a stab right in the chest. He wished it was him you were smiling at.
"Yuji can you pass me the salt please?" you said gently,
but before Yuji could reach it, Gojo already snatched it from in front of him and gave it to you,
"Here!" he said with a silly smile,
You poked the inside of your cheek and took the salt from him not even looking at him.
"Um Y/n–" started Satoru but you cut him off by starting a conversation with Yaga sensei.
"By the way Sensei, I feel like I'm ready to start teaching again–"
"WHAT NO!" yelled Satoru
You raised your eyebrow,
"You need to rest Y/n, you've been through a lot" he added worriedly.
But you ignored his concern and his comment and shifted your gaze to Principal Yaga again,
"My students must be missing my classes"
"But y/n Gojo is right! You need to rest! it's been only one day" exclaimed Principal Yaga
"I'm feeling okay!" you said smiling.
"Alright then, do as you please but don't tire yourself, okay?" said Yaga sensei with a smile
You nodded smiling.
"Y/n please, you've been through a traumatic experience, this phase is the hardest even if you're not realizing it" said Gojo with worried eyes.
But you ignored him again, getting up from the table, wiping your mouth with a napkin heading to your room to get ready for a day full of teaching.
......
It was a long day full of laugher with your students, they did everything they could to make sure you were comfortable and happy. Especially Yuji he acted extra silly to get you to laugh uncontrollably. They wanted to help you forget about the terrifying experience as soon as possible.
You were in the balcony at night, enjoying the night sky, getting back to your favorite night activity, watching the stars. It always put a smile on your face. It reminded you of how vast our universe is and how small our problems seem in front of it.
"sensei?"
You looked back,
"hm Megumi? are you okay?"
"Yeah! is it okay if w-we talk a bit?"
"Sure Gumi, tell me!" you replied with a soft grin, now giving him your full attention, anticipating his words
"I–I w-wanted to apologize!" he said looking down at his feet unable to meet your gaze
"Hm? for what?"
"I - I'm sorry sensei, I'm ashamed of what my father did to you, he doesn't represent me, I'm not like him and I completely oppose it, always been I–" he said nervously fidgeting with his fingers.
"Megumi" you started, placing your hands on his shoulders,
"I know who you are! I know how kind, caring and loving you are! You don't need to apologize, you don't need to explain anything. It's not your fault that your dad chose the wrong path, so don't ever blame yourself! Stand proud Megumi! You are an amazing student, an amazing person and an amazing friend of mine" you insisted giving him a light squeeze.
"Really?"
"Yes you are! Don't ever doubt yourself! come here" you added and pulled him into a warm hug.
.........
*2 days later*
"Yaga sensei, since Toji is in prison now what about Y/n and I go back to our house?" suggested Gojo.
"Huh? Why the rush you don't like it here?"
"No it's not like that, it's just since our marriage we had to live here so it would be nice to go back to our own house"
"I like it here" you said out of the blue, showing that you refuse to live with him in a vast house alone.
"But y/n, our house is big, you'll feel more comfortable there, our room is waiting for you–"
"Oh Yaga sensei I thought about making a writing test as well not only a practical one" you said cutting Satoru off, as if his words didn't matter.
Starting a new conversation, totally neglecting him. Everyone around the table noticed it but have no right to interfere. Your inside was screaming, wanting to give in and move back to your house again where you can live only you and your husband, enjoy each other's company and privacy but it was complicated, life is not a movie scene and you can't wipe away the bad memories easily.
*Time skip*
You were in the balcony, waiting for the sunset. You've been lying to yourself, thinking that teaching again and distracting yourself with some jokes would make you forget about the hell Toji and Mei Mei put you through. You were already suffering from anxiety and this incident made it worse. You were getting a good night sleep just because you were using the pills that Shoko gave to you or else you'll wake up screaming from your night terrors, from the trauma you had lived. You started getting random panic attacks whenever you were alone, your hands would get all sweaty and start shaking, cold sweat dripping from your forehead and you felt like being choked.
Maybe it would have been easier if you told them what you truly felt and not pretending to be okay. Maybe it would have been a lot easier if you confessed your true feelings to Satoru even if he rejects you.
A tear rolled down your cheek, knowing that it got worse and that Gojo did a mistake by saving you. Maybe the world would be a better place without you. You felt useless and a heavier burden now, going back to teaching to prove yourself useful in something, only to find your students pitying you and trying to help you instead of you helping them. With a deep breath, lost in your thoughts, you came to a conclusion, that leaving is the best option. It's been weeks and your curse didn't break, and you've already lost faith that it would break, and you can't live on false hope that one day you'll become a sorcerer and make your family proud. You feel like your husband that was forced to marry you, is now forced to take care of you and treat you differently because you were the unlucky one to get kidnapped by one the most dangerous murderers. Your family won't accept you or treat you fairly as long as you remain a monkey with no curse energy.
"It's all related" you chuckled to yourself,
You checked your phone, and credit card, already clothed in your jacket to protect you from the cold.
You took a moment to watch the sunset first, it was mesmerizing, the color degradation representing different phases.
"Sunsets are a living proof that endings can be beautiful too" you said to yourself.
You started walking away, leaving Jujutsu High behind, not knowing where your legs would take you but at least you know you'll be safe, Mei Mei and Toji are in prison now. You just wanted to get far away from everyone, you knew you didn't fit anywhere, you don't belong anywhere. So maybe you'll start as a normal simple human, with a normal simple job. It broke you to run away from them, you considered them a family and you knew you'll carry all those beautiful memories with you whenever you go, but what broke you the most, is leaving Gojo without a proper goodbye, but for your self-respect you chose not to give him another reason to feel sorry for you.
*Time skip*
"SENSEI! SENSEI HAVE YOU SEEN Y/N?" asked Gojo as he rushed downstairs after asking literally everyone and they said no.
"No!"
Panic coursed through his veins,
"Sensei what if someone abducted her again?"
"Relax Gojo, she's not a kid I'm sure she's safe, Toji is imprisoned so is Mei Mei, I'm sure she just went for a night stroll"
Gojo looked at him in disbelief, and left Jujutsu High and start searching for you, maybe he's being paranoid now and scared by the slightest thing but he can't afford to lose you, not again.
...
He searched everywhere, anywhere possible, he even went to Mei Mei's house to make sure you weren't there even though he knows damn well that both of them are paying for their mistakes. He check every corner, every street, every alley but you're nowhere to be found.
He started sweating, his heart hammering against his ribcage, feeling the sky narrowing around him and suffocating him.
"Where are you y/n, please!" he said to himself.
He paused when a thought crossed his mind, he knows you're a space enthusiast. You enjoy watching the clear night sky and chase the stars, but to do so you need an excluded area, away from Tokyo lights. A hill 2 hours away from Jujutsu High, but it's Satoru, he doesn't need 2 hours to reach that hill in a matter of seconds he found himself there.
It was dark, but he could see a figure standing, head's up to the sky. The city light bellow on full display. He knew right away that it was you. He wanted to announce his presence to not scare you, so with a soft voice he spoke,
"y/n?"
Yoh turned around, looking at him in disbelief. Without saying anything you started to walk away but he rushed towards you and grabbed your arm,
"Wait y/n please talk to me!"
"Satoru leave me alone"
"No! no I'm not leaving you alone, not this time! Why are you ignoring me? Why are you being being so cold towards me? I understand it was my fault and I'm so fucking sorry about it but please talk to me–"
"Satoru! For god's sake, let me go, let me live, let me try a new start away from all of this"
"Why? you can start anew here? with us! with me!"
"No you don't understand! I don't belong to your world, I don't belong here! I'm sick of it" you explained a tear fell down,
"You belong with me y/n, please let me help you"
"I don't fucking need your help, I don't need anyone's fucking help, I'm tired of being the one in need, I'm tired of being the one who needs to be saved. Because no one of you will, and because it's so fucking degrading, I'm sick of myself, sick of not being able to protect myself-"
"Y/n you're not realizing your potential, please don't rush things!"
"Don't rush things? It's been weeks Satoru and nothing worked, I can't let you go through this, you deserve to be with someone like you, you deserve to be with someone strong, a sorcerer not a talentless human. It's over okay!! I was ready to send you the divorce papers so you don't need worry about anything, I'm no longer a burden, and you won't take my responsibility, I know you're sick of me and of all this prophecy shit" you paused,
looking straight into his blue eyes, if you could trade the night sky for his eyes then you would, you would choose to look deep into those blue canvas. You wanted to take into his face, to stare longer memorizing his features so they take a longer time to fade from your memory.
"Rejoice Satoru, you're free!" you said and freed yourself from his grasp, walking away,
His heart beats escalated, watching you walk away. No it can't be, you can't leave him, not when he realized that he couldn't breathe without you, not when he realized he can't sleep without your scent in the room.
"No, you can't leave me"
He grabbed you again, pulling you against him,
"I can Satoru, that's what you fucking wanted so don't act like you don't want it"
"I'm not acting, I don't want you to leave"
"Why? So you can feel less guilty by making it up for me even if you don't want it?"
"NO!"
"Then fucking why?"
"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU!"
A moment of silence fell over the place, looking into each other's eyes, only your heavy breathing is being heard,
"I love you y/n, I love you so fucking much that I can't take it anymore, I love you that the only thing I can focus on is you, I lOVE YOU THAT I WOULD GIVE UP HEAVEN IF IT MEANS I GET TO BE WITH YOU, BECAUSE YOU'RE MY HEAVEN Y/N, YOU'RE MY BLESSING. I WAS YOUR CURSE AND I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT, BUT LOVE, LOVE MADE ME A FOOL, A FOOL FOR YOU"
You didn't say a word, you were too shocked, words still processing in your mind. You froze, trying to figure out if it was a dream or a reality. But when he crashed his lips on yours, you knew it was real, by the way his soft plump lips felt on yours. His big hands grabbing your waist pulling you towards his body that was screaming, yelling for you, for your touch. You closed your eyes enjoying the sensation, a sensation you dreamt of for many nights, and days. Daydreaming, wondering how his lips would taste.
Instinctively your hands moved around his neck, pulling him closer. Your breath mixing, breathing each other in and out. Kissing each other so passionately as if your lives depend on it as if the world stops rotating, the clock stops ticking, and humans stops breathing. Only you and him in a vast world.
He pulled away, intoxicated by your taste, his eyes full of love and lust at the same time, growing impatient as the seconds passed by, the he spoke with a foggy voice,
"Let's go to our house, our home, tonight I'll make you mine and you'll make me yours.. let me do your duty as your husband, allow me to get a taste of you and get a taste of me"
Your chest rose and fell, feeling the electricity run in your system, turning you on even more.
"mhm" you nodded, you'd follow him everywhere even to your decease.
You were ready to finally give yourself to him, to allow him to do as he pleases to you and you do as you please to him. Finally, a few moments till you become a real husband and wife, a few moments till you taste heaven.
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vulpisnocturna · 7 months
Text
Binding Vow - Part III
This is the last part of Binding Vow 🤍
Part I
Part II
Read on AO3
I do not condone this behaviour. This is purely fictional. Please read warnings and avoid if you find any of them triggering.
Warnings: Stockholm Syndrome, Chrollo being a pretentious bastard, Chrollo mansplains, Emotional Manipulation, Controlling behaviour, Yandere Chrollo, Kidnapping, Captivity, Reader is struggling, dubcon, NSFW
Word Count: 7.6k
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You were insane. You were deranged, and spineless and pathetic. Waking up with Chrollo’s arm holding you to him, possessive and stifling as always, you had actually felt good about it. You, the captive, the prisoner, the trophy possession he had decided to steal for himself. You had liked his touch, and had felt comforted by it. You had wanted the moment to last forever, that feeling of being in Chrollo’s good books and not having to fear for his next move. If you just accepted it, liked the physical reaction of your body, did what he wanted, it was so much easier.
The past two weeks after your escape had almost been... peaceful. Chrollo hadn’t punished you, and so long as you sat on his lap, made out with him and spoke to him, he was gentle, kind and lenient. He was waiting for you to sleep with him, not forcing himself on you, even though you weren’t sure you would even push him away. After all, kissing him felt so disgustingly good. Human contact felt so comforting, and you deserved to feel good, right? You had lived in torment for months now, and now that you had a modicum of normalcy, of happiness, it was normal to want to keep it. It was normal to want Chrollo to be happy. If Chrollo was happy, or whatever the comparable emotion was for someone like him, you were safe, comforted, treated kindly.
But this was Chrollo. Did you really want Chrollo to be happy, to show you that shit-eating smug smirk of his? To get what he wanted?
No. This wasn’t about Chrollo at all. This was about you. You were just looking out for yourself. Escape was impossible, and you would not get any mercy from him a second time even if you tried a second attempt. This was about self-preservation. This was about building a life for yourself with what you had. In that way, wasn’t this also brave?
‘Good morning, my love’ his husky voice reverberated in the crook of your neck, and he placed a gentle kiss on your shoulder, holding you closer, fingertips stroking your stomach. You tensed up a little, but did not attempt to push him away. Good mood. He was still in a good mood. You had learnt to tell his moods apart even though most of the time his face was blank or smug.
He turned you, stroking your hair and smiling at you, his eyes gleaming with some kind of emotion you were unable to name.
‘I was thinking that you have been so good for me lately, darling. I am willing to put behind the whole mistake of your escape if you continue to be so lovely and sweet. And, I was thinking I could take you on a date today. How does that sound?’ he asked, and you tried to contain the way your chest felt light with gratitude. He was willing to take you outside? Apart from your botched plan of escape, you hadn’t been outside for more than two months. You wanted it so badly. You needed it. Needed to see the outside world, needed to stretch your legs, to breathe in the clean air.
‘Uhm- where?’ you asked, still reticent about sounding too enthusiastic. This was still Chrollo, you reminded yourself. Still your kidnapper.
But... he was willing to take you outside. Even if you had tried to escape.
‘If you don’t feel up to it, we’ll stay home, of course. Don’t push yourself’ he said, stroking your cheek. Your breath faltered. No, you needed it.
‘No- I want to!’ you stammered, scared he might just be taunting you. It would destroy you if that was true. But Chrollo simply gave a soft laugh.
‘Relax, darling. I knew it would make you happy. We can go to an art gallery, and then, have some dinner before we come back’ he said, fiddling with the strap of your silk tank top, one of the many flimsy clothes he had bought for you, ‘however, there are some guidelines. They’re non-negotiable. But, if you follow them, you can expect to go on many more outings in the future’
Rules. He was giving you rules. You already had a feel for what he’d say, but you honestly did not care. So long as you got to see the outside world, you would do anything. Besides, trying to escape under his watchful eye would be impossible, especially since escaping when he was supposed to be away for hours had proven itself to be a complete disaster.
‘First, do not try to run from me. You know what would happen if you did. Do not ruin your streak, darling. Second, make no attempts to ask anyone to help you run from me. If you did, I’m afraid I would have to dispose of them, and you do not want that to happen, do you? Third, you must tell me if you are uncomfortable at any point. Do not force yourself to endure discomfort just to be outside. If you wish to go home at any point, we will, no questions asked. Fourth, I want to choose your clothes. It’s only fair, since I know the dress requirements of the place I plan to choose. Alright?’ he said, scanning your face.
You had expected the first two rules, and you did not even question them in your mind. Of course he would say that. But the third? Why would you feel distressed about being outside? It was all you ever needed or wanted. But you supposed you could accept, since it wasn’t going to happen. Chrollo had a nasty habit of picking your outfits anyway, it wouldn’t change anything. As revealing as he could make them, you could put up with it, if it meant you got to go. You doubted his nasty jealousy would allow him to make you go naked outside.
‘Okay’ you only said, and he smiled.
‘Good’ he smiled, kissing your forehead. Again, the fact that you did not flinch surprised you. He had kissed you so much in the past week that now, you saw it as normal. It shouldn’t be. But it was. And it meant you were going outside.
‘We’ll have breakfast outside. I’ll shave and have a shower in the main bathroom. If you wish to have one too, you can use this one. Unless you wish to join me’ he said, voice roguish and tempting, despite the fact that it only brought a grimace and a burning feeling on your face.
‘I’ll take this bathroom’ you muttered sourly. Chrollo did not seem fazed in the slightest as he stretched like a cat and lifted himself off the bed.
‘As you wish, darling’ he said, heading towards the wardrobe. You didn’t even want to see him leer at all the outfits he’d bought you, you didn’t want the anxiety of wondering if he’d pick one of those skimpy skirts that barely covered your ass. So you turned away again, facing the curtains of the wide window that offered a view of the whole city.
‘There. That’s perfect’ you heard, and curiosity (or maybe it was dread?) made you turn again, staring at the sage green dress he’d picked. It was fairly modest for his tastes, you thought. The length was a respectable one, possibly reaching the middle of your thighs, and the top had a cowl neckline that would expose some of your cleavage, but not too much. You were impressed. But perhaps you should have sniffed out the trap, because his other hand was holding matching black bra and panties, both obscene, all lace and barely concealing fabric. You tensed up, your cheeks heating up, mortified rage building up inside you as you glowered at him.
‘Consider this my payment for this date, darling. It’s only my imagination that will benefit from you wearing this, anyway. Unless you plan to seduce me’ he said slyly, smirking at you. You sneered. Of course not. All your physical contact was initiated or brought on by him. You didn’t want Chrollo. You didn’t like him. He was... a prick. He just happened to be unfairly hot. And good at sex.
‘I’m planning no such thing’ you snarled, and he tilted his head, folding the clothes and placing them on the bed.
‘Then I do not see an issue. Of course, you could go without wearing any. Or we could stay home. Your decision’ he said simply, nonchalantly.
Ah. Your decision. The mockery of one, at most.
‘Whatever’ you said, averting your eyes. Chrollo shot you one last look full of yearning before he grabbed a black suit from the wardrobe along with a white shirt and a black tie, exiting the bedroom.
You buried your face in the pillow, unwilling to look too much at the lingerie. Was he genuine when he said it would only be for his imagination? Or did he want you to wear it because he planned to fuck you that night? You hated the tightening of your lower stomach at the thought.
No, you didn’t want it to happen. It was dread, not longing.
You decided to act with the impression that he would not and stood up, snatching the clothes and locking yourself in the bathroom. Chrollo had never walked in on you in the bathroom, for which you were grateful. It was a minimal respect of your privacy, but for someone who crossed almost all of your boundaries with no regard for your say in the matter, it was astounding that he hadn’t picked the bathroom lock to get to you. And perhaps because it was your safest space from him, you had never tried to prolong your time in there or hide in that room, because you did not want him to take away what little privacy you had if he was under the impression you were using it to avoid him.
Perhaps it had to do with his gentlemanly façade, the front he put on, acting as though he was in any way chivalrous. It would ruin that image if he picked the lock of the bathroom to spy on a lady. But coercing her to wear slutty lingerie and keeping her captive were perfectly gallant things to do in his fucked up brain.
Regardless, you were glad to feel somewhat safe as you took off your tank top and shorts, turning the tap and stepping under the shower head. You sighed, trying to make it quick. You found yourself scrubbing and taking extra care in making sure you were pristine, and you hoped you were doing it in some kind of performative ritual because you were going outside and seeing people for the first time in two months and a half, and not because you thought Chrollo was going to see you naked. Although he had already seen you once, and his wandering hands were greedy when he had you on his lap, wearing flimsy silky nightgowns or his shirts. He was like a centipede when he got his hands on you. It felt like he had dozens of them.
When you got out and reluctantly put on the strapless bra and the lacy excuse for underwear he’d chosen, you were both impressed and revolted by the way they both fit you like a glove. How the hell could he know your exact measurements? Though all the clothes he’d ever gotten you always fit perfectly, even though you had never tried any of them before, the fact that he knew the precise measurements of your tits was disconcerting.
And despite how much you might hate him for making you wear that lewd set, you had to admit it was undeniably sexy on you. Which only made you angrier.
You ground your teeth, slipping on the dress he’d chosen, finding that one also fit you perfectly. You even put on mascara and nude lipstick. You got out after drying your hair and putting on the ridiculously expensive perfume he’d bought for you, finding him casually lounging on the armchair by the window, perfectly groomed and dressed. The suit was much classier than his cross-riddled fur coat, and he might even seem a gentleman in it. Well, except for the stupid cloth on his forehead. As out of place and ridiculous as it should have looked, it did nothing to make him look any worse. He only stood out more.
His covetous eyes raked your figure, his lips parting slightly as he stood up, making you feel like prey under his hungry gaze.
‘You look... truly stunning, darling’ he murmured, his fingers tracing the curve of your waist and hips, his lips seeking out yours. You were engulfed by the minty scent of his aftershave and the heady, expensive cologne he always wore, creating a mix that had you squirming in his hold as he kissed you, tongue greedily tracing your lower lip. His mouth traced a feverish line to your throat, and he breathed in, groaning softly, making your thighs press together instinctively.
Was he...?
‘Don’t fear, sweetheart. I won’t trap you beneath me and rip this pretty dress off you... though you are so tempting right now’ he whispered seductively against your ear, teeth nipping at your lobe, and you bit your lip hard, swallowing a whimper.
‘You’re a pretty little thing, you know that? Part of me wants to keep you home and taste your lips again and again’ he continued, hand cupping your ass, squeezing possessively. You swallowed, your eyes widening, pulse shooting up.
‘No- want to go outside- you said-‘ you started, but was shushed by his finger on your lips.
‘I am a man of my word, darling. I said I’d take you on a date, and that is what I’m going to do’ he said, giving you one last heated kiss before he released you.
‘Now, for the finishing touches’ he said, heading to the dresser and opening a box. Gold gleamed between his fingers as he approached you, and you stared at the emerald pendant and matching dangling earrings he had picked up.
‘Did you steal those?’ you murmured, and he let out a soft scoff.
‘Does it matter? Which one would make you feel better?’ he asked, gathering your hair and holding it, his head dipping as you stood in front of the mirror, frozen in place as his lips grazed your nape, sending shivers down your spine with the way his stormy eyes were fixed on you.
‘I guess not’ you breathed, and he smirked, putting the necklace on you and straightening it up on your sternum. Next, he released your hair and put on the earrings. You had to begrudgingly admit they were stunning. But that was to be expected. Chrollo liked to steal beautiful things. According to him, you were one of them.
‘Ready, my love?’ he asked, and you nodded. The shoes that were waiting for you at the door were heels, but luckily, they weren’t too high, and did not look too uncomfortable. Chrollo started to get on his knees, and you grimaced, picking up the heels and sitting on the sofa, putting them on yourself. You also took the dark coat he handed you yourself instead of letting him hold it for you. You refused to be a doll he could just dress up. He nonchalantly smoothed his jacket, seemingly unfazed by your rejection as his aura focused around his hand and his blasted book appeared between his fingers.
You stood next to him, and his hand snaked around your waist, holding you possessively as the lock clicked. The book disappeared, and he guided you outside and towards the lift.
Your fingers were trembling at your sides, and your gaze was greedy as it took in the outside world, the people walking by, your lungs filling with the clean air, your skin basking in the pale sunlight.
Chrollo led you to his car, or at least, the one he was currently using, opening the door for you and insisting on holding your hand as you sat down. He closed it behind you, circling the car and sitting down, immediately locking the door. As tempting as the thought of throwing yourself out of the moving car was, you had no intention of trying to escape, but you knew he would always take precautions anyway. Perhaps it was part of the reason why escaping him was impossible.
He drove through the city centre with a hand steady on your thigh except for when he had to change gear, but you could hardly care. Your gaze was fixed on the window, drinking in the buildings, the shops fleeting by, the statues and houses and the people walking on the pavement.
He parked in an underground parking space next to the gallery, once again feigning chivalry as he opened your door and helped you outside. You let him, because you did not want to cut your time short. You wanted to make the most of this day.
There were a lot of people in line, and to your surprise, Chrollo calmly walked to the end of it and stood there, patiently waiting. You stood next to him, feeling oddly breathless, as though your ribcage had tightened. So many people. You hadn’t seen so many people for so long. Their chattering was loud, they moved around you and you couldn’t keep an eye on all of them. Had being a captive ingrained in you the need to keep a watchful gaze on everyone around you?
You felt slightly nauseous.
‘Everything alright, darling?’ Chrollo’s voice came to you slightly muffled, and you swallowed, nodding quickly, terrified he would take you back home if you showed any sign of discomfort.
‘Too many people?’ he offered, and you focused on a spot far away under the stone arcades.
‘No. I’m fine’ you said much too quickly, your legs feeling slightly weak, to the point you had to lean on Chrollo. Was this why he’d chosen to stay in the line whilst he could have paid to skip it? Just to show you that you needed him in the crowd? To take you back home? You forced yourself to stand tall and by yourself, but Chrollo had already tightened his hold on you, trapping your side to his.
‘I wouldn’t want you to fall, dearest. We can still go home, you know’ he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. You gritted your teeth.
‘No’ you hissed, your throat tightening when you heard how hostile your tone sounded, ‘please. I want to stay, Chrollo’ you added, sweetening your voice, knowing his ego always adored the sound of your begging.
‘Hmh... you’ll need to stay close to me, dear. You seem quite fragile at the moment, so I will need you to hold onto me’ he said, his eyes smug and his smirk self-satisfied.
You pressed your lips together, wishing you could debate with him, tell him no, but his rule and the fact that he had the last say were vivid in your mind. It was his fleeting satisfaction over a day of joy for you.
You leaned against him again, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.
He kissed the top of your head, rubbing your upper arm, moving along the line. Minutes passed, and Chrollo did not seem to want to let you go, and you did not seem to want to admit to yourself that his closeness, his stable presence holding you in the swarming crowd was reassuring.
You breathed a sigh of relief when you reached the ticket box. Chrollo bought two tickets for the exhibit, leading you towards the first room. You lost yourself reading the brochure, flicking through the different exhibits, your eyes nearly popping out of your skull as they set on Van Gogh. One of your favourite painters, and apparently, most of his artworks were now here for a short time. Had Chrollo known?
‘That is the first smile you’ve shown me that reaches your pretty eyes’ he said, his eyes glinting with some kind of genuine fondness as he stared at you.
‘You knew?’ you whispered, struggling to believe he would do something genuinely nice for you. Not something Chrollo liked, something you liked.
‘That you have a predilection for Van Gogh, or that his paintings would be here? Of course, to both’ he said, and you stared at him, suspicion extending its tendrils in your mind.
‘Are you... planning to steal them?’ you asked, eyes narrowed. Chrollo smirked, tilting his chin up and glancing at you with a sardonic look in his grey eyes.
‘Why? Would you like a specific one? I could arrange that’ he said easily, and you shook your head, disbelieving.
‘No- of course not’ you muttered.
‘A pity. If it gifted me another pretty smile, I would steal all of his paintings’ he said with something akin to reverence, stopping in the middle of the empty room to stroke your cheek, staring intently at you.
‘That’s- wrong’ you stammered, trying to vanquish his stupidly romantic display of affection. He was completely without morals nor did he have any sane conceptions of what was acceptable to do for something as trivial as a smile.
‘Why? Numerous museums have stolen artwork throughout the centuries, and somehow, that is moral? None of these museums paid Van Gogh for his artistry. They are fair game’ he said smoothly, and you stared at him, blinking in disbelief.
‘To you, everything is fair game’ you said. Chrollo smiled, fingers curling on your waist, under your unbuttoned coat.
‘Darling, you are so straitlaced. When you can appreciate something more than the masses, you are entitled to take it for yourself. Beautiful things deserve the right amount of appreciation, which most people cannot provide’ he said, and you had a vague idea of what he was really talking about in more detailed terms as he leaned over you, eyes gleaming with self-assurance.
‘Do you think any of these inane, mediocre individuals could truly love you? See your beauty, appreciate you, know you like I do? I am the only one who can truly give you what you deserve. I can give you anything’ he said in a soft, fervent voice, kissing your cheek, making your head spin with his delusional world views and the headiness of his tone.
‘Do you remember when I fucked you, darling? Of course you do. You were begging and whining for me, for my fingers, my tongue, my cock. Do you think any of these people would know how to fuck you like I do? How to make you scream and sob with need? Or maybe you don’t remember too well. But I will remind you soon. It might be tomorrow, in a few days, a week from now, but you will see. There is so much I want to do to you’ he was practically purring in your ear, voice low and inebriating, full of sinful promises that made your heart drum in your ears and your lower stomach hot with want.
Tomorrow? A few days? Then- he was going to fuck you soon. You felt dizzy, and you were not wholly convinced it was from dread.
‘You’re a creep’ you mouthed, terrified of his effect on you. If you’d been religious, you’d have thought he really was Lucifer incarnate. The temptation of the most beautiful of God’s angels really did feel real when Chrollo made it known what he wanted to do to you.
‘Oh? You think I can’t hear you mewl in your sleep, darling? God, if you knew how much control I need to exert to keep from burying my head between your thighs. Do you dream of me, my love?’ he continued, and your eyes widened, your heart skipping a beat as ferocious shame gripped your throat. No, he was bluffing. You couldn’t have... if he knew-
‘Of my ex’ you said, because he was humiliating you and you couldn’t bear his smug grin and the satisfaction and hunger you could hear in his voice.
Chrollo’s grip on you tightened, and he straightened up, his eyes burning with jealousy, but his lips curled in a nasty smirk.
‘Little liar. We’ll see’ he said, voice thick as honey, and you shivered, hugging your body as you went to look at the paintings. Chrollo followed you leisurely, like a shadow. It was as though there was a string connecting the two of you. Where you went, he was right behind you, if not already touching you.
The paintings in the first five rooms were the oldest, with gold painted on religious imagery, ugly infants and static anatomy. Still, your eyes drank the paintings in like you were dying of thirst, looking for the beauty in a world where Chrollo was the dealer of what you were allowed to see.
When you stopped for more than half a minute to stare at a painting, you had already walked through ten rooms, ignoring Chrollo’s pretentious chiming in with random historical facts and art lessons.
It was beautiful. No. That wasn’t right. It was petrifying. “Judith beheads Holofernes”, the silver plate read next to it. Artemisia Gentileschi. A woman.
There were two women and a man in the painting. One of the women was holding down the man onto a bed, whilst the other one was in the middle of slicing his head with a sword.
The world seemed to stand still as your eyes wandered around the canvas, taking in the colours, the skill, the beauty of it. But it wasn’t the artistic skills of that painting that mesmerised you. No, it was the rage. It was the sheer disgust, revulsion and fury that seeped through the blood trickling down the mattress and spurting in the air, spattering her dress. Punishment. Vengeance.
‘How macabre’ chimed in Chrollo, obviously unperturbed by the gore of the painting, ‘I did not know you had a bloodthirsty side to you, darling’
You ignored him. You’d felt that rage. That need for retribution. You knew what it was for.
‘I hope you’re not picturing doing that to me’ he said, and then sighed, stroking your hair, ‘Artemisia Gentileschi. She was raped by her father’s friend, and though she was tortured, she maintained her story throughout the trial that followed, which resulted in the conviction of her rapist. Her paintings do seem to reflect her exacting vengeance on him’
You looked at the woman in the painting, silently recognising her strength, standing in awe of it.
‘I could steal it for you if you like it so. Though I would not want you to get fanciful ideas’ he said. You couldn’t help but scoff. You could not say you were in the same position as Artemisia had been, but you understood the sentiment well. At times, you had wanted to behead Chrollo with a broadsword and bathe in his blood.
Who would have guessed that now, he was your only source of solace. That you did not shy away from his touch, that you dreamt of it.
‘I’d rather you stole me a broadsword’
‘As captivating as the sight of you brandishing one would be, I’m afraid I cannot do that’ he said, and you nodded absentmindedly. Obviously.
Chrollo bought breakfast at the art café, and you resumed the visit after that.
But nothing else captured your mind like that one painting. Well, until you got to the room where Van Gogh’s painting were displayed. If Artemisia’s paintings had filled you with respect and petrified you with their rage, Van Gogh rooted you to the spot with the sheer emotion of his art.
You could not stop yourself from smiling, and your eyes shone bright. You didn’t even care that Chrollo was staring at you like a hawk.
Again he offered to steal them for you. You denied wanting that, telling him that you wanted as many people as possible to bask in the beauty of them, and that you wanted them to acknowledge a painter who had never been appreciated in his lifetime.
‘You are so sweet, my love’ he said, holding you to him.
You weren’t sure you would not find Van Gogh’s sunflowers staring at you the next morning.
By the time you were finished with the visit, you were ecstatic. Yes, you had had to endure Chrollo’s centipede hands throughout the day, but you had seen so much, and felt alive. And he hadn’t even been too stifling.
‘I- thank you, Chrollo’ you said once you were back in the car, hoping this would happen again. He turned to you, staring at you, his usually cold grey eyes shining with warmth, his smile, for once, genuine.
‘It was my pleasure, darling’ he said, capturing your lips in a soft kiss, devoid of the hunger that usually seeped through them. One that, if you ignored the past two months and a half, would have you swooning.
He smiled against your lips, planting a kiss on your forehead and pulling out of the parking spot.
The restaurant he’d chosen was just as luxurious as you had expected from someone like him. He sat in front of you in the secluded booth, reading the menu. You did the same, tempted to get the most expensive thing just to put an indent in his wallet. Though it probably would be pocket change to him. And if not, he could always arrange stealing something to make up for the loss.
He ordered Cabernet, and you considered getting drunk to make the date with your kidnapper less awkward. But you didn’t think he’d let you down too many glasses of wine.
Still, you sipped it avidly, glaring at him when he scoffed.
‘Darling, am I such bad company that you have to drown your sorrows in wine?’ he asked, clearly a rhetorical question.
‘Yes’ you said, and he let out a soft laugh.
‘Are you sure you want to inhibit your senses around me? Considering I’m such bad company?’ he mused, sipping his wine, his pretty lips stained blood red. You put the glass down, scowling and going back to deciding what you wanted to eat.
You settled for steak, surprised to see he ordered the same. You had expected him to get something pompous like lobster.
The meal was undeniably amazing, even though Chrollo had taken it upon himself to interview you about what you’d thought of all the paintings, clearly trying to exhibit his own knowledge, which turned into you trying to one-up him. That might also have been a ploy from his part to get you to argue with him.
‘Interesting. When you’re not so nervous, you’re quite self-assured, darling. Perhaps the thought of being seen as less knowledgeable than I am is unbearable in your mind. Is it to do with sexism? I assure you, the fact that you’re a woman makes no difference to me in terms of your intelligence. Which is, of course, of the highest degree’ he said, and you groaned, staring at him and taking another gulp of Cabernet, even though no amount of wine could save you from him dissecting your brain and being pretentious.
‘Don’t psychoanalyse me. And stop trying to be a feminist icon to impress me. It rings hollow after what you have done’ you said, thinking yourself bold with your quips. Perhaps you should settle down. After all, this was still your mass murdering captor.
‘Ah. I treat you with the highest regard, my love. It wounds me to hear you be so bitter when this day made you so happy. Have I not earned some affection from your part by spoiling you today? Perhaps you need more from me’ his eyes took a lustful light, and you squirmed, shutting up. Which only earned you a smirk.
Once the bottle of wine had been finished, Chrollo got you water, claiming he did not want you to get drunk. You eyed the price on the bill, astonished that one meal could cost so much. But he merely swiped his card and closed the leather case that hid it from view, standing up and offering you his hand. You got up, walking with him outside.
The ride home was fairly silent, because you did not look forward to be back not knowing when you would get another chance at seeing the outside world, and Chrollo was focused on driving and palming your lower thigh. You looked at the sunset, lost in the orange and purple hues, completely enraptured by the beauty of it. It would be nice to stay out for a while longer, but you knew not to push the buttons. He had said art gallery and dinner, and that was what you had done. Now it was time to go home.
You wondered if he would make you sit on his lap and kiss him again tonight, as he’d done since your escape attempt. Somehow, the thought made you hot all over. Well, he had certainly seemed keen enough at the gallery, you thought, your cheeks hot.
Chrollo parked the car, leading you to the lift and back to the flat, where he locked the door with his stupid book and discarded his coat, taking yours off. You slipped off your heels, your feet sore from a day of wearing them, and started to head to the bathroom to change. If he wanted to make out with you, he could wait for you to get comfortable, as loosely as that word could be used in such a situation.
You had made it to the bedroom when Chrollo caged you in his arms, pulling you into him from behind you, getting your hair out of the way to leave languid kisses on your neck, his hands splayed on your stomach. You stopped dead in your tracks, giggling nervously, already feeling the effects of the wine and Chrollo’s touch getting to you.
‘Uhm- let me change-‘ you muttered, your eyes fluttering close when he started sucking on the junction of your clavicle.
‘There’s no need. I’ll peel it off you soon enough, darling’ he breathed against your ear, voice intoxicating, deep and sultry, and you squirmed, your heart rate going through the roof with the realisation that he wanted to sleep with you now. God.
No, you had to push him away. That was the right thing to do, right? He was... Chrollo, and his tongue was following your artery, and it felt like hell and heaven had combined, and you couldn’t think...
‘I’m tired of waiting. I am going to show you just what I can make you feel, darling. I’ll be so good to you’ he said breathily, hands cupping your breasts, fingers grazing your stiffening nipples. You choked a whimper, torn between the overwhelming pleasure and the equally crushing shame.
He groaned against you, pushing himself against your ass, earning another strangled yelp from you when you felt the hard bulge of his erection against it.
He whispered your name like a prayer, turning your head and kissing you hungrily, teeth sinking in your bottom lip, sucking, licking while he fisted your hair and turned you around, pulling you more into him.
Your mind seemed to shut off completely, taken over by the desire that had accumulated in weeks of torturing make-out sessions with no reprieve, to the point where your body was burning and aching for his touch, and nothing else mattered except the taste of wine in his mouth and the grip he had on you.
He pulled back, pupils dilated and eyes dark with lust, gaze lingering on your lips as he pulled down the zipper on your ribcage, greedily devouring you with a mere stare as you stood there, rapt and consumed by desire, your mind a blur.
He lowered the straps of your dress, pulling it down until it pooled at your feet. You burnt as his eyes trailed down your body, shameless and ravenous.
‘That’s even better than what I had imagined. Oh, darling, if you knew...’ he groaned, his hands immediately splaying on the expanse of your back, trailing down to squeeze and knead your ass harshly while his mouth was busy sucking on your neck, making you whimper as you clung to his shoulders.
He pushed you towards the bed, pulling you on his lap. You straddled him, utterly deranged with pleasure as he licked the valley of your breasts, grinding you on his lap. You let out a moan, pulling at his hair, which only made him rougher as he slapped your ass and gripped it, sending a surge of pleasure to your clit.
‘Get on your knees for me, darling. I want those pretty lips wrapped around my cock’ he groaned against your ear, and you swallowed, shame making your face burn. It was one thing to go with the flow and let him do things to you, quite another to actively pleasure him. But you would be a liar if you said the thought did not make you wet. And it was all unfair and humiliating and yet, and yet...
You pressed your lips together, yelping when your bra ripped under his hands and he threw it away.
‘I’ll buy you another one’ he groaned, pinching your nipples and sucking one into his feverish mouth, grazing it with his teeth until you were rutting against him, your hands cradling his head.
‘On your knees now, sweetheart’ he pressed, and you breathed in shakily, lowering yourself from his lap onto the floor, swallowing your shame as Chrollo stared down at you, taking off his jacket and shirt, unbuttoning his trousers and pulling his cock out, stroking it in his hand. Degrading as it was, infuriating as it was, he was so unfairly attractive. From the expanse of his toned stomach to the thick cock in front of you to the unruly hair that framed his face and the lust-laden grey eyes boring into you.
He let go of his cock to gather your hair into his fist, stroking your cheek and your bottom lip, pushing his thumb inside. You hesitantly sucked it, pressing your tongue against it, and he smirked, eyes gleaming with ravenous lust as he pulled it away and you wrapped your much smaller hand around the base of his cock, unable to touch your fingers with your thumb.
You stroked him, looking up at him as you tentatively licked the slit at the tip, and he let out a soft moan, his lips parting as his fingers tightened around your hair.
Emboldened by his reaction, you wrapped your lips around the reddened tip, tongue twirling around it.
‘Good girl, keep your eyes on me’ he breathed, looking dishevelled for the first time as you sank further in, licking the underside of his cock, hollowing your cheeks.
‘Fuck’ he groaned, his hips twitching, to the point where he reached the back of your throat and you choked a little, breathing hard through your nose. You weren’t even two thirds of the way in.
‘You can take it, darling. You’re doing so well. You look ravishing’ he praised, and you pushed a little more, tears starting to sting in your eyes, your lips wet with saliva as you struggled to keep your eyes on him.
You got a little more used to his size, and you managed to take a little more. What you couldn’t take with your mouth you made up for with your hand, rotating it slightly as you pulled back and forth on him, watching him start to breathe more unevenly, his eyes narrowed, the skin of his neck slightly flushed.
‘That’s my girl. You’re such a pretty little slut for me. I knew it’ he taunted, and despite yourself, you couldn’t help but moan, continuing to pleasure him though it killed your pride.
He started to guide your head, not too forcefully, but he was definitely getting more eager as you picked up the pace and sank to his pelvis, tearing a breathless moan from him that made your panties even more soaked than they already were.
‘Oh, darling. My good girl. Fuck- I’m close. Keep going, and swallow, m’kay? Going to make you feel so good after, I promise’ he huffed out, and you hollowed your cheeks, struggling to breathe, tears running down your face as you kept going, until he stilled, his eyes closing, head facing the ceiling as he came in your mouth with a soft moan.
You swallowed heavily, panting as he slipped out of your mouth. He stared at you for a few seconds, his lips parted, his eyes narrowed with pleasure, before he pulled you up by your arm and threw you underneath him on the bed, kissing you, his hands roving down your body.
‘Such a good girl- let me return the favour, my dear’ he breathed, sucking on your nipples, straying down your stomach and spreading your thighs. You stared at him, panting and hot all over as he pressed his nose against your clit, licking a wet stripe along your labia over the wet lace of your panties. You let out a breathless moan, hips jerking against him, and he let out a soft groan, smirking at you.
‘How I missed this’ he murmured, pulling on your panties until they ripped, clearly unfamiliar with just slipping them off. But your quips were soon forgotten when he flung one leg on his shoulder and dipped his tongue inside you, kneading your ass as he flicked your clit and rolled it in his tongue.
You pulled at his hair, your hands catching onto the cloth of his forehead, which fell on you. He tossed it away, sucking on your clit, his hand snaking between your thighs, two fingers dipping inside you and curling, making you arch your back and let out a loud moan.
He started thrusting his fingers in and out, dragging them along your walls, his mouth keenly occupied with your clit, until you couldn’t take it anymore and started convulsing underneath him, trembling as he pinned you down and forced you through the most intense orgasm of your life.
He switched his mouth and fingers, his tongue slipping inside you, tasting you, his fingers rubbing and rolling your clit through the comedown of your orgasm, until you pushed him away when you started feeling too sensitive.
He wiped his chin with his mouth, sucking his fingers clean and smirking at you, the picture of debauchery as he gave you a sultry look.
He took off the remainder of his clothes, turning you on your stomach and lifting your hips.
‘Does my pet want a rough fucking? You deserve it, after all. You’ve been so patient, squirming on my lap for weeks’ he said against your ear, gripping your hip, his free hand wrapped around your throat.
You only moaned, and he must have been satisfied, because he pushed inside you, tearing a loud whine from you and a grunt from him.
‘Fuck, darling. You’re just made for me, aren’t you? Look at how you’re taking my cock, sucking it in, throbbing around it’ he murmured, immediately bottoming out and thrusting back in unrelentingly, making you tremble underneath him, your head dizzy, your face pressed against the mattress as he pounded into you, pressing into your g-spot straightaway, making you whine and keen for him. It was too much, all at once. You felt him everywhere, consuming you, making you see stars.
‘Chrollo- fuck- too much’ you sobbed, but he did not relent. He slammed against you with reckless abandon, long fingers still wrapped around your throat, his pants and groans echoing your louder cries.
‘You can take it, little slut. You’re my little slut, mh? Your pretty little cunt’s squeezing around me... could it be that you like that, darling? How filthy’ he taunted, but he sounded breathless and full of desire, and it made you feel obscene, yes, but also so so wanted. You had secretly longed for this for weeks, and now, you needed to feel him, needed to cum so badly.
But he slipped out of you and turned you on your back, slipping back into your sopping cunt and lifting your knees to your chest, pressing his body over you.
‘Fuck- Ahh- gonna cum!’ you sobbed, the new position rendering you completely helpless to his rough fucking that pressed against your g-spot and grazed your cervix, making you quiver underneath him.
‘Cum for me, darling. Show me how much you need me to fuck you’ he breathed, and you thrashed your head side to side, tears disappearing on either side of your hair, your mouth open in a silent scream as you came undone, seeing white, sounds fading completely around you, leaving you feeling only pleasure for a moment that felt like several minutes.
Chrollo grunted, cursing loudly, pressing his lips to yours in a sloppy kiss and drowning your moans as his hips stuttered, his rhythm breaking, his fingers curling on your flesh, sure to leave bruises as you felt warmth flood inside you.
He continued to push for a few seconds, head buried in the crook of your neck before he stopped moving. Your legs collapsed on the bed, and you struggled to calm your breathing, your throat dry, your arms loose around his back.
He rolled over to his back next to you, his breath starting to come out evenly even though you were still panting.
‘You were perfect, darling’ he murmured, stroking your hair, pulling you into his arms. You stared at the open window, the night skyline staring back at you with its blue lights and orangey glow from the windows of the buildings on the other side of the street.
Was this a life you could live? You did not know. The only thing you knew was that Chrollo had won.
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eetherealgoddess · 3 months
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Before you continue, this ends dark as hell so I’m gonna warn you rn!!! Hope you like it anyway! ♡︎♡︎
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ꨄEscaping Bonten is for Scrapsꨄ
Oneshot - Yandere Bonten/Assassin Au
❦You are an assassin that’s after a target Bonten already has their paws on❦
Sano Manjiro, Hanemiya Kazutora, Sanzu Haruchiyo, & Haitani Brothers x Reader
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Not fully proofread
MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR, AO3, AND WATTPAD UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!
I apologize if I get any Japanese etiquette or culture wrong, I literally have to research the culture for some of my fandom stories so if anything is wrong, please excuse my ignorance.
Notice:
✩Y/n is 18+. I picture her as a black female but you can see her however.
✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.
✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.
✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.
✩There may be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable
✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.
Enjoy!
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Escaping Bonten is for Scraps
You eye around the busy nightclub, pushing through the crowd as you search for your assigned target. Eyebrows furrowed as your nose scrunches at the thick tobacco smell mixed with alcohol and a variety of cologne and perfume.
“Where is this guy?” You hiss, shoving a drunk person to the side as you head to the back of the building. Once you push the doors open, you see the tall staircase, sighing before stepping on.
Why did I have to get assigned to a club?
It’s not that you were against the party scene, it’s just not ideal for a mission to find someone you need to kill. Your boss chose you for the assignment created by a bitter divorcee. You roll your eyes as you remember the file stating, “Please murder my cheating ex husband.” Of course, your company is underground and perfect for not being caught, though why risk going to prison over a cheating spouse?
Fortunately, this should be fairly quick. The soon to be deceased spouse is known for his drinking habit, speaking belligerently as he drunkenly walks from bar to bar which makes him an easy target. You followed him here, his third club of the night. You couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him considering he is just minding his business and drinking on his lonesome. Sure, he’s bitter as well and is a slob but it’s probably just a down point in his life.
At least I’ll put him out of his misery.
Once you reach the top of the staircase, noticing that the whole floor is empty, you pull your gun out, readying it to use. You hold it down to your side as you walk from room to room, searching for your victim. When you see that the whole upper stairs is empty, you hide your gun, and walk towards the exit of the room you just entered. Your eyes widened when you heard a scream coming from behind you.
You turn around and quickly move to the window, squatting, hiding yourself behind the wall so the people outside couldn’t see you. Easing your head up, you peeked to the outside. Standing at the back of the building, a group of men in suits hover around a kneeling man who’s covering his head as one of the men slams his foot against his side, causing him to fall over. You notice a smaller man who stood in the middle of the suited men walk closer to the male on the ground.
Your eyebrows raise when the man is forced to put his arms down as the shorter man crouches in front of him, realizing the guy is your target.
“What did this guy get himself into?” You whisper to yourself before moving quickly to crack the window so you can decipher what’s occurring.
“You owe us a lot of money, Nakamura.” A man with two blonde strands says, his wide eyes staring deeply at the victim.
“I-I know! I’m going th-through a divorce. I j-just need more time!” He coughs out blood in between his words. The short man in front of him leans in.
“You’ve wasted my time.” He stands up before moving back, motioning for the purple haired man holding the baton to walk forward.
He swings his arms back before slamming them down with a smirk on his face. He repeatedly hits the man over and over again with so much force that blood splatters on his own suit. The man cries out in pain as he becomes light headed.
You wince as you watch this painful sight.
Damn, now I’m feeling even more bad for this guy. I think I’m just going to go ahead and shoot him. Help him out, forreal.
Standing up completely, you aim at the man’s head perfectly with the gun. Without needing the other guy to stop beating him, you pull the trigger, a shot ringing out loudly. The bullet penetrates his head, killing him on the spot. The men, startled, looked around their surroundings as the pink haired man turned to the window, his blue eyes catching yours before you turned on your heel and ran.
“Fuck, he saw me!” You hiss as you run down the stairs, gun hidden as you push through the crowd.
Fortunately, it looks as though you all are into some shady business, though that doesn’t mean you want to catch their attention. You run out of the exit and rush to your car parked at the side of the building.
“Shit, shit, shit!” You rush to unlock the car before hopping in. Before you could close the door, a hand blocks the door. Your wide eyes meet purple orbs before you're pulled out of the car by your shirt. Before you could grab your gun, your front is forced against the car as your gun is grabbed and aimed at your head. The man with the purple mullet holds your arms behind your back with one hand. Before you could say anything, the butt of the gun meets your head, darkness engulfing your vision.
When you first wake up, your eyes meet a dimly lit warehouse, a throbbing pain at the side of your head causes you to pull against the restraints you didn’t know were there to touch your head. Groaning your eyes, the rope strategically tied around your ankles strapping you to the chair.
“Damn.” You breathe out. The click of a gun sounded next to your head causing you to make eye contact with the blue-eyed man you saw before.
“You’re an assassin working for an underground company, right Y/n?” You look up to see the short man sitting on a chair in front of you at a distance. The men stood around him, eyeing you.
“Who am I answering to?” You question, resulting in the gun being pushed against your head harder causing you to wince, the spot where you were once hit feeling raw under the barrel of the weapon.
“I don’t repeat myself.” The sunken eyed man states, his white hair hovering over his face.
“Yes.” You spit out, frustration being the only emotion to decipher at the moment.
“You work for Bonten.” You gasp at the familiar name.
“What the hell are you talking about?” The gun smacks against your face, forcing your head to lean to the side as you squeeze your eyes shut in pain.
“Watch your mouth.” The pink haired man growls, using one hand to force your head back in place before replacing the barrel in the same spot.
“You will keep your assassin title and you will work under the executives.” Your eyebrows furrowed.
“Or what?” You hiss. The pale man signals for the taller short haired man to walk towards you holding his baton. He smiles before pulling it back and slamming it against your stomach. You lean forward before coughing out blood.
“You die.” Your new boss states.
A few months pass before you’re completely used to the yakuza scene. There are times when you wonder what exactly did they see in you to ‘hire’ you as an assassin working under the executives. It wasn’t a hard job, basically like the one you were used to besides the power dynamic. Although you worked under an old boss, he treated everyone equally and you had normal coworkers who you’d go out to the bars with occasionally. You were free to live your own life as long as you didn’t get caught.
Working under Bonten, you weren’t allowed the same freedom as your executives. Your job title was assassin but considering their low respect for you, sometimes you were a maid, assistant, butler, etc. At least that’s what it felt like when you had to run errands for them that didn’t involve shooting a bullet in someone’s head. Sure it’s nicer than killing but who wants to work to serve a bunch of disrespectful men?
Not to mention, you weren’t allowed outside without being accompanied by one of the executives. Of course, the executives you wouldn’t mind being around such as Mochi, Kakucho, Koko, and Takeomi weren’t the ones who accompanied you. It was always the Haitani brothers, Kazutora, or Sanzu. Even when you’re supposed to be off the clock you were always around at least one of them. You no longer have your own apartment and have to stay in a designated room in a penthouse that holds all of your rooms, though everyone else owns their own homes.
Currently, you are sitting in the vip section of one of the Haitani brother’s clubs, arms crossed along with your leg as you lean back on the couch. Kazutora plops next to you with a drink in hand along with one of the strippers in the other, her bare breasts out as she holds onto him.
“You don’t look so happy, Y/n. Should we have taken you to a male strip club?” He taunts, finding amusement in her pouty face.
“I’m glad you find humor in my suffering. I just want to go to bed.” You respond.
A dip on your other side causes you to turn your head to meet Sanzu who has a speck of white dust under his nose. He wipes using his sleeve before handing you a cup of alcohol.
“Live a little, yeah?” You raise a brow as you push the drink away. You had to admit how interesting it was to see the different contrasts between the infamous mad dog. One minute he’s all serious for ‘his king’ and the next he’s sniffing angel’s dust off of a stripper's ass. Interesting indeed.
“I don’t know what you put in that.” You state before turning away from him.
“Then take this. It’s just champagne.” Rin smirks as he hands you another glass from a separate chair, man spreading as he smokes a blunt.
“And I should trust you, why?” You roll your eyes before standing up.
“Where are you off to?” Ran asks as his hand grips the butt cheek of the stripper sucking his neck.
“Bathroom.” You state before walking out. You eye the guards before heading to the restroom.
You walk to the sink and lean over, staring at yourself in the mirror as you think your life over and what brought you to this point. You swiftly turn your head when someone walks into the bathroom. You notice the woman is wearing a poorly done wig with a coat on. You contemplate whether or not you should knock her out and disguise yourself so you can make a run for it.
My morals have always been skewed anyway. I’m sorry lady.
Before she could walk into the stall, you grab her and press her pressure point, catching her before she falls. You undo her coat and set the purse on the ground, lying her head on it gently before pulling her wig off. Setting the wig on as well as the coat, you walk out of the bathroom.
You walk at a steady pace to look anything but suspicious while keeping your head down. When you successfully pass the guards you make a run for it, rushing out of the club and finding a taxi to pick you up, throwing your phone out of the window for safety from a tracking device.
Your adrenaline pumps as the hairs on your body stand. You breathe heavily as you give the taxi man the direction to your old company’s headquarters. When you got there, you ran into the building in search of your boss. When you find his office, you push the doors open and run towards the man who looks at you with shock.
A year passes and he helps you back on your feet. Staying as an assassin would have been dangerous considering the first place Bonten searched for you was the headquarters. Fortunately, he has a family who owns different businesses so you currently work at a bakery on the farthest side of a city hours away from where you used to reside.
One night, you were cleaning up the floors, closing the store. You had already locked the door so you were confused when you heard someone entering the building. Looking up, you dropped the broom when you recognized Mikey standing in front of the door with a gun pointed at you. Before you could move, a hand wrapped around your mouth as someone grabbed your arms, pulling you against a chest. You struggle in their hold.
Your eyes widen when you see your boss and his family consisting of his wife, two of their adult children, and one child being dragged in wrapped in rope and bags over their heads. You scream against the hand.
“Relax and everything will go smoother.” The voice she recognized as Kazutora states behind her.
Once the other men force everyone on their knees in front of her, they pull the bags off their heads.
She screams once more when she makes eye contact with all of them, tears running down her face for the first time at the face of death.
No they can’t do this! This can’t be happening!
Complying to Mikey’s order, Kazutora removes his hand from her mouth as he locks arms with hers. She pulls against him as she tries to release herself, to no avail. The Haitani brothers watch in amusement as they stand behind the two adult kids. Sanzu stands behind the child as Mikey moves to stand behind the boss.
“This is your fault.” He says to you, glaring before he sets his gun to the man’s head. The child cries along with the mother and the children. The man’s eyes are wide as he looks to the side in the direction of his family. They were prevented from talking, mouths bound shut as they squeal and groan.
“Mikey! M-Mikey please don’t do this! I-I’ll stay this time I swear to god! Please… just kill me or something d-don’t take it out on them!” You cry out, devastated by the display as the guilt takes over.
“Sanzu.” He states. Everyone watches as he sets the barrel of the gun on the child’s head, pulling the trigger before anyone could think. There was a pause as the shot rang out, the blood and brains splattering against his siblings, the wall, and the floor.
“STOP! NO MORE!” You let out a blood curdling scream. You pull and pull against Kazutora as he grips you tighter.
Your boss wails against his restraints angrily, falling over when he attempts to stand up, lying pitifully on his side as he kicks his feet and pulls against the rope. The wife and their children cry out, tears dropping fast as they squeeze their eyes shut.
“Haitanis.”
“NO! NO MIKE-!” The shots rang out, more blood and brains splattering as their limp bodies fall to the ground, one sibling with half of their head gone as well as the other along with an eyeball, their blood reaching their mother as she completely bends over and cries.
Mikey aims at the wife shooting her twice before her limp body falls, the husband still as he weeps for his deceased family. Kazutora allows you to drop to your knees. Hands placed on the ground as you become light headed. Finally, vomit shoots up your throat as you release the contents on the ground. Gagging and belching as your body shakes, wet with sweat.
This must be my karma for all of the wrong doings. This must be how people feel when they see their loved ones die.
“I-I’m so sorry, Akihiko. I’m so fucking sorry.” You whine out, tears and snot falling as you become a wreck. He looks at you with despair.
“Please, escape the-!” Before he could finish his sentence, Mikey had already blown his brains out.
You gaze at the messy floor with a blurry vision and wide eyes. Footsteps stop in front of you, missing the vomit. Mikey crouches down and pulls you by the chin to look up at him, gun still in the other hand.
“If you try to leave again, I’ll blow your legs off.”
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chernabogs · 1 month
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Threnody
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Inc: Malleus x Reader, with a lil bit of Lilia parenting Warnings: Existential crisis, anxiety mentions, allusions to death, dabbling in insecurity, post-blot coping WC: 2.9k Summary: There is trivial difference between storms of a Fae’s misery and those of a Fae’s joy—both are adorned in catastrophe for those caught within.  Part 1
The gasps of spring’s last moments found closure under summer’s blade as she sliced through the tolerable weather into that of stifling, uncomfortable heat. Despite the way it made his skin itch beneath his uniform, or the way it left an aroma of sweat and humidity on those he surrounded himself with, Malleus was apt to linger on the Isle of Sages for slightly longer than necessary this time. Of course, Housewardens were always the last to leave anyway—someone had to make sure the dorm rooms were cleared out and prepared for the coming fall. 
Last to leave, first to arrive. 
Even then, there was more motivation than the years before for him not to depart so hastily back to the cooler, darker halls of Black Scale Palace for all of three months. Motivation which was presently situated on one of the couches of the Diasomnia lounge, basking in the fresh air from the open windows as Malleus arranged the last of the disarrayed cushions to his liking. 
Yours had come to be a strange relationship in the aftermath of his uncomfortable realization post-overblot. He had bit his tongue like a man cursed and ensured that you had not caught wind of the idle thoughts turning in his mind as he had observed you, so patient and so giving, sitting next to the cot he had been delegated to in that medical ward. 
Your idle chatter had been efficient at keeping periods of silence from stretching for too long. Those periods of silence would have been the trigger to make him shoot off his mouth at you, ejecting his revelations like a psalm that no one was ever meant to read. 
… He wanted you. He wanted you, so much so that it ached in his body …
Such thoughts were akin to ones that a man in torment would have, writhing between the battle of want and learned conservativeness. 
He had admittedly avoided you for a week upon being released. His excuses were mainly that he wished to focus on the reparations duly owed to everyone that had been caught in the prison of his insecurities. Internationally, he had a script written for him by some of the more political of Briar Valley, apologizing for his actions and ensuring he was taking the steps to never fracture again. Privately, he fumbled over words in the dark to the three he had hurt the most, his voice breaking as fingers twisted the hems of his sleeves. He had been more nervous asking forgiveness from Silver, Sebek, and Lilia than he felt speaking to an international stage.
He had not asked for forgiveness from you, despite the fact that you and Grim had been on the forefront of this conflict, alongside the Shroud brothers and STYX. Your presence by his bedside had felt like absolution already granted, and so to plead for it would be a waste of fragile breath in the end. 
“Have you marred the cushion enough?” A teasing tone snaps him sharply from his ruminations as he pauses, his mind sluggishly returning to the present. He holds the couch cushion in his hand, its form warped from the original due to his constant pushing and remodelling. Malleus clears his throat before dropping it unceremoniously and nudging it with his knee. 
“It was due for some rearrangement.” His voice is less light as he assesses the rest of the dorm before his gaze drags itself back to you. The sunlight dapples across your skin as you watch him, the faint smirk on your lips doing little to hide the tiredness that rests in your eyes. Like him, you too have fought battles this year. It was selfish to bemoan his own hells when you have been in levels far deeper. 
“Sometimes you seem more meticulous than Riddle. I should be thankful I don’t need to memorize a rule book for Diasomnia as well.” You still continue to poke fun even as you observe him with a sharp stare. This is a look he has grown familiar with since his overblot. Perhaps born of concern, or perhaps born of paranoia, but you have been dissecting every comment he’s made as of late in a more clinical fashion. 
Malleus does not deign to give you a reply as he drifts around the lounge, readjusting candles or shifting books ever so slightly on the table. He wouldn’t say he’s overly anal about how things operate, but he does appreciate a sense of order. He has dealt with enough chaos this past year that the thought of more feels like a weight on his back. It’s when he enters his third lap of the room that you speak up again.
“Malleus.” His name slips from your lips like a lure, causing his attention to move from the lounge to your form once more. The smirk is absent from your lips as a sterner expression rest on your face. He still enjoys the sight of it. Smiling, stern, or despairing—he struggles to find flaws in your complexion. “Is there something on your mind? You seem quite restless.” 
That terrible impulse to speak true rears its ugly head once more as deeper thoughts bubble up to his tongue. Want, want, want, want—
His upper lip curls into an expression he doesn’t mean to give—disgust—and he see’s the consequence of this by the hurt that flashes in your eyes. He turns to face away as an ugly feeling embraces his body.
... You cannot speak with them, or hold them, or tell them how much they mean to you ...
“Nothing, Prefect. I’m merely thinking about what still needs to be done.”
_______________________________________________
There is trivial difference between storms of a Fae’s misery and those of a Fae’s joy—both are adorned in catastrophe for those caught within. The skies above are a roiling mass of grey as the scent of rain perfumes the air. Malleus observes it with fraught silence as he taps painted nails along the windowsill. That ugly feeling is still wrapping its arms around his body. He has showered several times, scrubbing his skin until it was raw in an attempt to remove the heat and the unseen slickness that is holding him hostage. The failure to do so has set him in a foul mood—one that the entire world can now sense.
This can be easily written off as a last spring storm, intending to make the season’s death a performative one. At least, those who have not been alive for several hundred years would think so.
He can feel a gaze on the back of his neck for a while before he finally rolls his eyes and decides to address the elephant in the room.
Or, more accurately, the bat.
“If you intend to surprise me, you’re doing a poor job at it,” Malleus mutters wryly as he finally looks back to the shadowy corner. Red eyes glint in delight before being accompanied by a white smile as Lilia moves to stand by his side.
“I was trying to surmise if I would be allowed to approach, or if you’d try to fry me with a lightning bolt first.” Lilia clasps his hands behind his back as he leans forward to look at the skies above. His expression is quite relaxed for someone fully aware of the turmoil going on in the man next to him. Lilia’s brush with death in the recent months had caused him to be more open-minded to the possibility. “You’re going to make move out day a very unenjoyable experience if you keep this up.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Malleus’ voice is dry as he taps his nails again, his attention fixating on the skies. The ugly feeling churns alongside the clouds above and for a moment it makes him feel satisfied to see a physical reflection of his state.
“Malleus.” There’s a sharper, more paternalistic tone now behind Lilia’s words. Malleus can feel the disapproval rolling off of him the longer they stand here in a stubborn silence. In the aftermath of the blot, Malleus had agreed to be more communicative of his moods to his family, and so it’s with a reluctant grunt that he speaks again.
“I don’t feel good.” His words are just as sharp as Lilia’s as his expression darkens. “I don’t know why.”
“Have you visited the medical ward?” Lilia’s hand flits out to touch Malleus’ forehead, as though checking to see if he’s feverish. The gesture causes the prince to scowl and move his head back. “Oh, come now, don’t get moody with me. I’m concerned.”
“Is it concern, or do you just wish to fuss over me?” He grumbles back as he bats his guardian’s hand away. “I haven’t visited the medical ward, no. I’m not too sure if there’s cause to do so.”
“Then at least tell me what you’re experiencing. Perhaps I can provide some insight.”
Lilia would be the most probable to give some sort of answer. Malleus knew the cause already, but his denial of the fact makes him speak up regardless. “I feel... unclean. Hot. Restless. There is a twisting sense of anxiety in my stomach that has made sleep quite evasive as of late, and it only is growing with each passing day. It’s as though I’m afraid of something—but I have yet to discover what.”
Lilia frowns as he looks from the window to Malleus. There’s a seriousness to him that comes from those many, many years of experience. “Is that so? And is there something you think of that seems to make this feeling grow?”
Malleus’ jaw clenches at the question as memories briefly flash in his mind. Sunlight dappling on skin, lips curled in a faint smirk, and idle chatter at a hospital bedside.
“Malleus?” Lilia’s voice is softer this time. Malleus knows that in this moment, he is playing traitor to his own thoughts. He looks to his guardian, and his silence is all the answer the other man needs.
“Am I ill?” He asks, and it’s when Lilia’s expression becomes one of faint sympathy that the ugly feeling becomes clearer.
“... no, not ill.”
Lilia’s repetition of the same answer he gave Malleus so long ago feels like cruel irony in this moment. Malleus barks out a laugh before waving dismissively at the other, who takes his cue to vanish away.
Not ill, no. But foolish, most certainly.
_______________________________________________
Ramshackle is no longer a dorm of ruins. The school year and your tender care has given it new life, something that many may have thought would never occur. No longer can he hear floorboards rotting or cement cracking under the weight of time. Although he mourns the loss of such precious tribute to the end, the prospect of rebirth is invigorating all the same.
He draws to a stop by the iron gates and takes a deep breath, looking to the dorm in silence until he see’s a figure step out and stand on the porch, waiting for him.
He does not make you walk to him this time.
Malleus’ hand grasps that iron gate and forces it open so that he may step through. He walks with purpose towards the porch where you stand, a mug of something in your hand as you watch him in the dying light. Birds sing their last songs and grasshoppers begin their own chorus as he stops just at the edge of the steps and looks to you appraisingly.
“Are you ready to retire?” He asks.
“Depends. What brings you to my home tonight?” You counter, smirking wryly from over the rim of your mug. That expression makes his nails dig into his palm behind his back as he clears his throat. He feels more nervous standing before you now than he felt speaking to an international stage.
How funny.
“Walk with me.” The words come out more as a demand than a question, and for a moment he balks, thinking that the authority in his tone may have just cost him an opportunity. But then you take a sip of your drink before setting it down on the porch’s banister.
“Please?” You hum, and Malleus clenches his jaw, looking to you with an unwavering gaze.
“Please.”
_______________________________________________
The nights silence, often welcoming, now feels as though he’s standing on a stage before an audience held in rapt attention. The two of you walk silently down your usual route as his mind turns and tosses his thoughts like a restless sea. He wishes to know if you feel a similar turmoil to what he presently does—and yet you are moving in perfect ease by his side.
“... and I can tell you, he wanted to make another contract with Azul over this. He was making faces at the man the entire time we were in the Lounge and Floyd looked ready to drag him to the backrooms.” You’re chattering away about your two other friends as you walk. He finds the situation grimly humorous. He’s having a crisis, and you’re filling him in on how ridiculous the antics of your companions are.
“Is that so?” Malleus murmurs vaguely, if only to keep you speaking, if only to keep hearing your voice. The two of you continue on your route as he remains in a trance like state.
No, not ill.
Lilia’s words are an omen hanging over his head. His guardian knows, and although Lilia is very skilled at keeping secrets, the fact that another is involved in this only makes his anxiety grow. He looks to you briefly. There’s a time limit left on how long you will remain by his side, both for tonight and for the future. You may return home, or you may embark on some grand adventure around the world, drinking in all the sights that Twisted Wonderland has to offer while he’s forced to remain in a palace on his own.
Everyone misses the ones they love when they leave us.
His grandmother’s comment in the mausoleum also comes to the forefront of his mind as he ruminates on this. He will miss you, and that’s an uncomfortable fact. He will miss you, and he cannot place if this is because of genuine care or because he’s so goddamn terrified of ending up on his own, that he cannot come to terms with the loss of someone by his side.
He doesn’t even register the two of you coming to sit on a bench by the main street, doesn’t even register how empty it is. He doesn’t register anything at all until he feels the sensation of your warm hand on his and it pulls him so harshly from his thoughts that he fears he may have whiplash.
“Hey?” You’re looking at him, and it seems that at some point you had stopped talking about your friends, stopped talking about your day. There’s concern in your eyes and it’s such a warm feeling, to be worried about, but for some reason it makes Malleus want to shrink back into the shadows even more. “Are you sure you’re okay? You seem like you’ve been in a whole different place this entire walk.”
No. He wants to say. No, actually. According to my guardian I am not ill, and yet the very prospect of watching your form grow smaller on the coast of this Isle as I return to the Valley is one that fills me with such abysmal fear that I cannot even comprehend it. I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what I’m thinking. I do know that you are the centre of this all.
You will die. So will I, in the end, but yet it’s this childish fear of seeing you fade away while I still remain that I cannot seem to get past.
Please, show me how to get past. Let me know, so that I may know you.
The words that had fought so hard to escape him so far now shrivel on his tongue as he looks to you. Your gaze flickers around his face, focuses on his lips, and it’s that action that makes a bolt of heat shoot through him. But before that bolt can ignite to something more, the ugly feeling wraps its hand around his throat and wrenches his head back. He jerks his face away and stands from the bench, his body stiff as he clears his throat.
“No, I think I may be coming down with something. It would be best to head back.” Even his words feel fabricated—traitorous! —as he speaks them aloud. This is not what he wishes to do. He wishes to thread his fingers through your hair, to pull you in and to lose himself within you until he can no longer differentiate where he ends, and you may begin. He wants to taste your words before they leave and know your thoughts before they’re spoken. He wants you, so much so and it aches and—
“Malleus,” you begin again, moving to go to his side, but he raises a hand to you sharply.
“Now.” He chokes out before setting off down the path, uncaring to see if you’re truly following or not. His mind is in turmoil and his body feels as though he has no control over it any longer. All that lingers now is the way your gaze went to his lips and the silly, hopeful thoughts such an action provoked.
Please.
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