#It was an odd feeling tbqh

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

Court of the Undying Seasons

NA high fantasy

demigirl volunteers to be taken by the vampires instead of her friend intending to kill them for revenge, but quickly learns that’ll be impossible unless she becomes one

she has to get through her training to become a vampire or live as a human thrall, and quickly gets swept up in their world - and discovers a string of murders that could have dire consequences for them all

#Court of the Undying Seasons #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #ok i was kinda hoping this would be more me than most things in its genre niche....but is just kinda is that #why is the main couple a thing? what is the attraction? i feel like I skipped half a book. you’re gonna kill him right #just really did not get that at all lmao. ur usual dark fantasy romance i gues #it’s kind of pitched as ‘she wants to kill vamps!!!’ but like. she immediately learns that’ll be too hard and basically forgets about it lo #i feel like the courts being named after colours reads. well you know it reads like the stereotype of YA with different factions to choose #but I guess I get that if they were called by their alt names it would have been a lot of confusing info to keep track of #the mc being a demigirl is pretty subtle #if you’re looking for it you can see the trans coding #but if you weren’t I feel like it might just read as girl who’s slightly uncomfortable with her appearance… #which is fine I guess. but just so you know if you're picking it up for that #also picked it up for ace side characters but like…. it’s not rly like the authors other books #there’s vague mentions but tbqh I’ve forgotten who is supposed to be ace #(probably because I read like 6 other books between starting and finishing this) #also genderfluid side character who is like. treated as two different people when they’re girl or boy version? #which is sort of treated as a vampire thing but i thought it felt odd #anyway all in all not entirely bad just not for me at all lol

[dangaer]

happy to announce ... i’ve completed eleven drafts in one week! 😌

#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc. #an odd celebration for munday but the reality is ... writing can be so hard like for the most of us #and i think we need to normalise celebrating how much you can write like!! it makes me so happy to know i have completed replies ... that #ill be able to give back! #i call myself a slow writer bc ... im honestly /such/ a slow writer #when i tried to keep up with a 1-2 week turnaround my mental health and my physical life suffered rlly badly from it #so letting go like this feels so good bc i can now celebrate what im writing for my mutuals. #no matter how much you write ... you're doing so well. im always so pleased to see my mutuals writing on my dash tbqh

[rendevok]

Do you have headcanons for nrmt in 7yg? Like how would they communicate right after disbarment and during it?

7yg nrmt headcanons you say?

You have no idea the can of worms you just cracked open. 7yg is pretty much my favorite phase for them, and my hcs for that era feel endless. I’ll try to reel it in, but i’m extremely not normal about this topic.

Pertaining to whether or not they’re even talking: at the start of it, I definitely envision the scenario as Edgeworth being abroad for his legal studies, and Phoenix not really having the time, energy, or interest to make a call to deliver the news. Phoenix has to somehow secure meals for himself and a young girl, so telling people is probably low on his list of priorities. Still, I’m sure visits from friends would trickle in. He wouldn’t be opposed to seeing friends at first, but with each subsequent response to the news of his disbarment, he’d dread the inevitable (Edgeworth). I don’t think he would avoid Edgeworth entirely; he’d accept phone calls and maybe entertain a vague life update, partly to maintain a sense of normalcy for himself, but mostly because he wants to avoid whatever the hell Edgeworth would have to say about it all. However, he can only skirt around the truth for so long, and Edgeworth isn’t completely out of touch with social cues from a close friend like Phoenix to not realize he’s withholding something. Edgeworth being himself and this being about Phoenix… I don’t think he’d be in the dark for much longer after that.

After Edgeworth pays him his own in-person visit, things are tense between them. Phoenix is jaded, and Edgeworth is determined to uncover the truth (as well as help Phoenix in any way possible). They’d be at odds, and that tension would be drawn out until Phoenix himself starts to get a whiff of the foul play at hand. Only then would he begin to re-open that line of trust between him and Edgeworth again, and begin accepting Edgeworth’s offers to help. I don’t think Phoenix would handle years of knowing someone was out to get him very well without knowing he had someone he could trust.

I also like to imagine them (privately) leading a deeper investigation into the ever-evolving mystery surrounding Phoenix’s disbarment together, so in terms of literal choice of communication, they’d restrict sensitive conversations to being in-person only—a great excuse to visit Edgeworth many times overseas. :^))) Still, it’s a long form game and they couldn’t afford to do that all the time, so they settle for an annual visit at least (gay gay homosexual gay). Aside from that, it’s likely many long catch-up phone calls and godawful amounts of yearning for them, because they somehow manage to not act on their feelings despite outwardly looking like a couple to everyone around them.

TL;DR: at first they suck at communicating because of the circumstances and a semi-friendly disagreement on what to do about things, but in time their goals align and they figure out how to communicate homosexually (complex song and dance which results in not getting any*), and work together from a distance.

I hope this made some sense because tbqh I had to stop myself from just straight up attempting to write out the development of their relationship over the course of seven fucking years. They are corroding the hinges on my brain. ♡

#*….unless..? #I believe in pining 7yg nrmts despite basically being a family rights #i have a file dedicated to 7yg hcs and i live in fear of how large it will get someday #if i could write a fic? it would be about the 7yg #not even necessarily about nrmts tho they would be there obviously #asks #anonymous #i just realized i should probably tag these so uhhhh #hcs #7yg #narumitsu #aa

[blondiest]

1/15/25!

HI ISA!! 🥰 thanks for these!!

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

i feel like it would be immoral and wrong for me to not say i want to hold you (hostage) because -- i mean, it's my baby, and honestly probably is my favorite thing i've written to date. that being said, i was kind of tempted to name hot soup on a cold day, just because it was my first real fic for meronia and one i am still very attached to T__T

15. something you learned this year

i learned how to write shorter fics!! i mean -- technically i did know how to do this. i had written 2 sub-10k oneshots for hellcheer and another 5 for other fandoms before that, but they were really the odd ones out, and for a long time, i had almost no sub-10k ideas for meronia. kinktober i think helped force me into thinking of shorter stories again, which was really useful and fun :') i heavily, heavily trend towards reading shorter fics, so it's been nice to actually write some shorter ones, too.

25. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

i am a liar and a cheat so i am going to mention a handful. this is not comprehensive for the year by any means (i'm sure i'm forgetting many, many lovely works, esp bc i'm getting sleepy while writing this). this is not in any particular order, and there are actually several i really wanted to list but should Not because i. didn't actually read them this year T__T also, for the sake of simplity, i am only going with completed works here [though i love a good WIP, i wanted to limit the scope!] lacuna triptych by @lightyaoigami [lawlight] moonlight by @quicktimeeventfull [meronia] Gingerbread by @empressofthewind [meronia, & now very seasonally appropriate!!] Offensive Maneuver by @dykelawlight [lawlight, & perhaps u hav heard of this author,] On Curiosity, Killing, and Cats by @notbeyondbirthday [beyondlaw] chocolate by @oloreandil [meronia] car trouble by @muttyagami [b/naomi] okay, i am for sure missing a lot of good ones, but that's what i have for now. i really need to just do a fic year in review tbqh :')

fanfic end of year asks

#asks

[bisluthq]

I still think a lot of songs like loml don't have a single muse. I think she made some things vague or a mixed bag on purpose and some lines could be about different people in the same song. And I also think this could be due to the fact that the pain of both these breakups is intertwined, that both these men made her promises, talked about marriage and didn't keep. Also I think it also confuses because she's using expressions like "we go from one kiss to getting married", "how we almost had it all", 'what we thought was for all time was momentary" and feels very...odd to say this about someone with whom you never had anything actually serious. It feels more believable to be about a ltr you indeed thought was going to work out. Atleast to me. The counterfeit line also reminded me of Glitch. I also wonder if Matty is as much as a cinephile as Joe, because that's what she calls the guy at the one point unless she means something else. Also weird to me that Matty who according to his fans was with FKA and called her the love of his life, would be calling Taylor that a "million times", instead of you know the guy she was with for a bunch of years. The table line reminded me of the Lover line too.

Bestie I do hear you but you lost me at “odd to say this about someone with whom you never had anything serious” because I thought we moved past that and accepted Tatty 2.0 was, indeed, a very serious thing and they did genuinely think they were gonna be forever. Matty was with Twigs and thought she was the love of his life same as at one point Taylor thought Joe was but then they fell for one another? And Matty spent a long time chasing her and making promises? The more I hear the song the more Matty I hear on it tbqh to a point where I’m like… almost as confident about it as Question (obviously not quite as much because that one she said is about Matty). But like the “told me I reformed you” is pretty fitting since he announced his bad boy era being over and all that shit. Idk. I really truly think it’s about Matty. Also yes, Matty’s a major cinephile. Big time.

I normally love “it’s a mixed muse song” takes because I think Taylor writes based on her own life and things she watches and reads and sometimes she uses multiple situations but a lot of this album is just… very straightforwardly Matty lol and to me loml is one of those.

[hatchetation]

re: your recent ask about lucy. i totally agree with you. i think it seems like we don't know as much about lucy in comparison because there's this odd sense of loneliness in what we've seen of her life, that at first glance doesn't seem to fit with her outgoing character. we've seen jane with maggie, her kids. and her ex a lot. we see kai with his dad and hina. we've seen jesse's daughter, and he's always talking about his wife. we even got that clip of ernie with that painting instructor (?). aside from the brief skylar storyline, which tbh had everything to do with kate, we don't see lucy really have a life outside of work and kate (which lucy even says). i think to some people that indicates that we don't know her too well, since it seems in contrast with her outgoing personality, but i actually think it's not so much an oversight, but actually a more purposeful, interesting aspect of her character. she's a more private person than she first appears, and i don't think it's a stretch to say that aside from her work friends, she was probably rather lonely before kate-- hence the bar story. to me lucy has so far been written as a more emotionally complex character than most of the others. we might not know all the details of her personal life, but i think we know her personality, and how she would react in certain situations, better than that of, say, jesse. like if you asked me to come up with 5 adjectives to describe their personalities i know for a fact i couldn't for jesse, or even jane or kai, probably.

1000% this anon! I completely agree. And to add one or two things, I think there's a tradeoff on this show where we can either get a bunch of facts about the characters or we can get emotional depth and complexity. Some of this is also very very tied into this split audience that I think NCIS: Hawai'i is trying to appeal to. Like we have the traditional NCIS audience (if I had to guess, I'd say this audience is mostly older white men, more conservative) and that audience is mostly there for the action tbqh. It makes sense for a show like this because like I said, there's not a lot of time for character development so you want the audience to be able to understand the character with just a few fun facts about them. Like Jesse Boone is this blank slate in many ways meant for people to project onto-- and if I were a white man I would probably project like hell onto Jesse because I'd just want to be the manly, protective man who's seen some tough stuff but still has a heart of gold. In Jane's case, she kind of has to be this super mom archetype who's juggling parenting and her job. I mean if we remove all the NCIS bells and whistles, that's what her role boils down to. She's the center of the show, the leader, and this a franchise that has only had white male leads up til now so there's pressure on her. So Jane needs to be tough but fair, she needs to be level headed always, she needs to be able to assert herself but maintain her femininity...

But then we have Lucy and to me Lucy is more of a wild card and her character is playing to a more "diverse" millennial audience. She talks about feelings, she's outgoing and playful and friendly, she's emotional--where Jane isn't really allowed to go too deep into her feels, Lucy gets to be in it, gets to lash out and glare and also smile really big and be openly affectionate. And so yeah, like you're saying, Lucy really has a personality. We don't know all the fun facts about her, but we have a sense of her interiority, her emotionality, her character. In conclusion, I love her sm 🥺

#this ask was so interesting thank you!!! #lucy tara #kate whistler #lucy x kate #whistara #ncis hawaii #jane tennant #jesse boone

[memecucker]

I remember hearing about this one French writer that went to the US and found the omnipresence of the US flag to be odd because he’s used to the flying of national flags at buildings outside of sports or holidays being mostly a “this is a government building” thing and tbqh as someone from LA I feel that way when I see people strongly identify with their city in a prideful way it’s like “ohhh you’re not getting paid by a tourism board to say that?”

[swannposting]

Also what's something you would like to see in a Willabeth fic but haven't yet? 🤭

tbqh I do not read nearly as much willabeth fic as I should (currently dragging myself out of a reading/writing slump) so there are prob many things I have not seen but hmmmm.....

I feel like I gravitate towards angst and post-canon stuff that involves the curse or just generally has them at odds with one another. And now that I think about it, I would love to see more of them actually pirating together. like a moderately fluffy No-Dutchman-Curse-AU where they are just the most badass married couple captaining a ship together. romantic pirate-y violence pls!!

and btw!! <3 I'm currently about 4/10ths of the way into Best Laid Plans and I am just relishing every detail and having so much fun learning tidbits about the historical context!!! <3

#rat squeaks #jackie tag

[glindaselphie]

stranger things 4 vol. 2 spoilers!!

this is just my personal opinion but I never got the impression that b.yler would be anything but unrequited.

I also don’t think that just bc the word for will’s sexuality wasn’t said is necessarily bad. I do think the duffers hyped the whole thing up more than they should have though and that was wrong of them.

and yeah some homophobes are still going to insist he’s straight but this is the fandom that ships robin with men and uses the defense of that of “well the actress isn’t a lesbian” so in all honesty idc what they think tbqh 🤷🏻

I also do dislike that they used will’s sexuality the way they did but

a) it does make sense for will’s character that he wants mike to be happy even if it’s not with him

and

b) I feel like that’s more of an issue with how mike has been written since season 3. it just feels like his entire character has become too based around el - and this is no hate to el bc she’s one of my favourites, I think she’s cool af - and that’s legit affected his relationship with his friends. fair enough get him to say “I love you”, that would have been fine, but making him say his life didn’t start til he met her is ???? a bit weird. I get that he’s young and first love can feel that way when you’re young but idk it’s just odd. el still has some character outside of m.ileven whereas mike…doesn’t really.

I’m not a m.ileven anti at all, I like them fine and thought they were cute enough in season one and two, it’s just the way they’re written since then especially is odd sometimes dkehidh

#stranger things spoilers #stranger things #laur.txt

[kinetic-elaboration]

November 2: Love Is Blind 3

I feel like the theme of this season’s Love Is Blind is “men with no emotional maturity and the women who are probably too good for them.” Not that every man is like that, but the ones who are scream the loudest. Scream like... warning lights. (I’m only on Ep 5.)

Alexa and Brennan: Literally had to google his name because I already forgot it. And found some spoilers, somehow (??), whoops. Anyway, he always seems way more into this relationship than she does but that just may be the way she comes across on camera. They got engaged so early in the pod portion that I’ve already forgotten why they clicked with each other and now they seem like such an odd couple, but hey, nothing troubling about them so far, we’ll see what happens.

Raven and SK: How are their spoilers out already? Infuriating. Is this from episode 10? The will they won’t they is the secondary reason to watch this show (the first is the occasional gossip and drama). Anyway, I was super skeptical of them at first but I was/am warming up to them. The thing is that Raven comes across...not poorly, but unemotional and distant, and very controlled--she’s not a great reality contestant because she’s not just blathering drama all the time, and that is probably to her credit as a person. Respect for the way she talked about Bartisse in ep 5, straight up “I dodged a bullet there,” because she did. And no matter how lackluster her chemistry with SK sometimes seems, at least on camera, the line “I want to love you the Raven way” will always be romantic.

Matt and Colleen: Colleen was a hot mess in the pod section tbqh. Matt was, per Raven’s astute observation, forgettable. So far I feel like his forgetableness is wearing off on her. Like with Brennan and Alexa, I wonder if he is more into her than the other way around, but, also like with Brennan and Alexa, that might just be because he’s a Talker, relegating her to smiling and nodding. I like Colleen and I hope that no matter what she ignores Frat Boy of the Year, Cole.

Cole and Zanab: He has the Frat Energy of a Barnett or a Shayne but the My Hot Wife Isn’t Doing It For Me and That’s Your Problem Now Energy of a Shake. I don’t actually fault people for not being attracted to other people because hey, it happens and I also can’t really fault reality contestants for talking about stuff because if they didn’t, it would be boring, but telling people how completely un-attracted you are to your absolute hottie of a fiancee is wild to me. Like shut up, no one wants to hear you complain about how she’s “not your type” (especially when she is remarkably similar to his professed “type” except for...what could it be??). Kinda love how Alexa specified that she hadn’t even asked him anything, he’d just unloaded these thoughts on her all on his own. Zanab’s passive-aggressive qualities are hard to watch, as are their passive-aggressive arguments, and they appear painfully incompatible, but I will always be Team Zay over Team Cole because this dude NEEDS to shut up.

Bartise and Nancy: Cole doesn’t win the Needs to Shut Up Prize, though, only because Bartise is in this season. Exhibit Two on why 25 year old men actually maybe shouldn’t settle down and get married? I hate saying that because 25 is a full grown Adult but like... This guy’s not ready. Nancy could be having Tantric Sex with Cringe Sex Phone Operator what’s-his-face right now and instead she settles for this guy, can’t stop blathering about what a hottie Raven is. Best part of this “love triangle” is undoubtedly that he can’t even have a little flirty side piece with Raven because she sees through it and doesn’t think it’s cute--like I cannot explain how much joy I got out of him blah blah blahing on to her about how much they both love fitness and how hot she is, and she’s just like “uh huh, uh huh” and then to the camera, “I have never been so turned off in my life”--like it’s on par with Paolo from The Circle France writing a dissertation to Virginie and her answering “Ok”--and the worst part is that Nancy, despite her flaws, doesn’t deserve having to deal with this Man Child for however many weeks... Just don’t marry him, girl.

#the year 2022 #2022: fandom thoughts #i was going to write about something else but i took a nap after work #and now i dont really care about anything lol

[goyangii]

hello again i am that Korean anon who sent the ask about fetishization (oh boy do I have a loooot of god awful stories about that) - I get super excited whenever I find other fellow Korean people :D it's like a diaspora thing, i also grew up in the states but my upbringing was very odd (i guess?? my family is a bunch of atheists & don't care about education so the way they raised me was the opposite of that "tiger parenting" stereotype - i have lots of stories about that too djflskjfl)

T___T Krn anon back again, I don't have a tumblr so i don't think off-anon msg is a feature that's available for me? idk how u would feel about this but i have a google voice # but if that makes you uncomfy please don't feel pressured to say yes - I'm also a Korean living in the states (no offense to my fellow Krns i love u all but i hate the way that american is hyphenated & added to it), I'm in a state where there's lots of Koreans & Asians in general!

aa hi!! same omg, especially when someone recognizes a kr handle i use it makes me so happy <333 especially because so often people don't recognize it lol. i'm so sorry though that you've experienced this shit, it's legit so frustrating and imo one of the worst parts is that literally nobody besides other asians seems to get it and even then i know there's a bit of a rift btwn east asians and other asians bc east asians get disproportionate attention etc etc. so in the end it often feels like nobody is really rooting for korea genuinely but other koreans which sucks. like i know ~stopasianhate~ was a thing but a lot of people genuinely seem to think that anti-asian racism is like, racism-lite or something. even though anti-asian (and anti-korean) racism does take lives and hurt people regularly. reeee.

honestly really jealous that your parents were so cool ;_; i have a single mom but she was raised very religious (her mom was a pastor lol...rip) so it kind of trickled down. she's also a very stereotypical "doctor/lawyer or bust" type which has been a constant battle between us ;; though i imagine you still went through a lot even w/o the tiger parenting stereotype hhhh like there's still generational trauma so rip.........

re google voice - i understand !!! i'm a bit scared to put a google voice number publicly (idk if it can be backtraced to my rl phone # or what?? also i feel like dumb trolls will spam it ugh) but if you're able to make a burner tumblr and just drop it im totally happy to send it to you privately that way! i know that's a bit of an ask though @@;; also yeah kr american is so clunky and i just self id as korean as well since like. idk. i know ppl who are latino or whatever and just id as latino, not latino american (tho the inverse def exists!! and i get why some ppl would want to specify but god lol it is a PITA to type/say)? and i've seen koream as a shortening but it looks like a typo tbqh. that's awesome though!! i live in a state with a lot of koreans and a big kr community so i'm thankful but i just live in the mostly entirely white burbz bc money. rest in pieces. genuinely dunno how asian americans handle living in areas that are isolated bc it makes me feel just...grounded to be able to go to areas where ppl look like me and have the same shared cultural background. like i love other cultures too ofc but it's just,, home. it's comfy. so i'm glad you're in an area where there's a big asian/kr population <3

#mine #sorry this is so long again aaaaaagshgd

[swynlake-spill]

best and worst promposals?

THE BIG DAY IS HERE SOOOOO let's all look back at our month of romance, grand gestures, and rom com moments!!! and as a true softie, i simply cannot award anyone 'worst' promposal. they were all very good!!

nevertheless, a ranking:

BRUCE/SNOW Um, double promposal what are the odds?? Its giving DESTINY, its giving LA LA LAND, and quite frankly i would much rather spend my time watching these two cuties than emma stone and ryan gosling do anything! we're giving it an 8/10 for effort and the romcom factor!!!

MIM/TONY it was messy and weird and probably cost the school a lot of money!!! i love a little crime in my romance (albeit this one is platonic). however i do feel like tony could have stepped up his game and asked MIM this time. 8/10

PHINEAS/LAURETTE it was on a beach!!!! sparklers, flowers, pride!!!!!!!!! does it feel a LITTLE slapped together? sure. does it also pale in comparison to Phineas's fireworks trick two years prior with Mei? ... yeah. But I hate to be a negative nancy, so you're still pulling at 7/10!!!

SIMBA/BERLIOZ While this one was a bit last minute, it had a HORSE. I repeat. There. Was. A. Horse. Not exactly the horse-drawn Taylor Swift White Knight kind, but still?? 9/10 for effort, romcom factor and a HORSE!

CLAYTON/ISA Idk if this counts quite frankly. Some people might turn their noses up at this since it was a raffle but I personally think it's very modern~ and spicy~ and could have been the start of a Fifty Shades Spin-off (compliment). I'm intrigued! 5/10 for all the potential

VIXEY/HERC TBH... this one I didn't get a lot of info about! I think it was uh, just a good old fashioned conversation. Which is absolutely totally fine. Let's not discount it! Though apparently someone overheard her talking to Tiana about it after and did not seem overly pleased... 3/10. He tried! TIANA/JESSICA This one was another conversation at the fairy flotilla, which is atmospheric! Jessica did not look disappointed after. Therefore, a solid 5/10. LOUIE/ZERO This one was yet another conversation at the fairy flotilla-- jeez what did the fairies put in the air??? Anyway, this one gets bonus points for inspiring a make-out sesh. 👀 6/10

RILEY/AMITY This one was outta this world! Who doesn't love a cheesy pun and slapped together poster? This was quintessential secondary school, and thus, flawless tbqh, as prom is first and foremost a secondary tradition. The added 'naming a star after u' was a nice touch. Cliche! I'd love to have a star named after me one day!! 8/10!

SU/FERB This took place on Ferb's very own lawn and involved colours and magic and stuff! Tbh, it reminded me a bit of Phineas's promposal to Mei (already mentioned here, but hey, that was p epic). Su perhaps learned a thing or two! 7/10, points deducted for Su randomly running away or something after. (Indigestion? Nerves. Girl, me too!)

#daily spill #im not tagging everyone #prom 2022

[lukealvezhimboextraordinaire]

Oh don't worry, a handful of people have been discussing how odd and suspicious the Francesca recast is for days now (the Fran/Ruby/Hannah tags are full of them lol). Of course no one knows what's going on behind the scenes but it really doesn't make sense to recast her now when Ruby finally has no scheduling conflicts for Bridgerton, and it's weird that the announcement got no hype from the cast or Julia Quinn or CVD. The way this was handled seems so shady tbqh I feel so bad for Ruby, I wouldn't be surprised if she learned her role was getting recast the same moment the fans did

Yes, I have read some of those takes and I'm not adding anything new. The thing is that personally I don't find the recast suspicious per se but the timing as you pointed out. Hell, they could even have done so once she had to clog out after episode three and reshot/edit the very few scenes she was on.

#asks and answers

[the-cooler-king]

I wonder if my friend gets my psychic pokes. Like some weeks im constantly thinking about her (stuff like oh she would like this. She would find that funny. Omg I wish she was here so I could have her watch this. Stuff like that) and sometimes I think @ at her "britt r u listening. Can u hear me. Elric brother telepathy come in"

#I asked her if she dreamed as much as I do #She said no actually I only dream when im deep in trauma #Its like o so I've been absorbing ur astral projection this whole time? #I had another dream with her last night but idr #I woke up wondering where she was tho #Like she was supposed to be sleeping with me??? #It was an odd feeling tbqh #Im sure she's constantly exhausted by my adhd brain @ing her lmao #Gotta tag this as #Nosub

[soldier-poet-king]

I am once again asking myself why I didn't go into STEM like everyone said I should

#my og plan WAS biochem #ENGINEERING IS RIGHT THERE #i wouldve been GOOD at it #CHEMISTRY WAS MY BEST CLASS FFS #i made some decisions while extremely depressed trying to convince myself to live #distracting with grand humanities daydreams #i think id have been better off in engineering. or the trades. tbqh #i know that's odd bc my personality is so not that #but o fickin. love that shit. and that work. honestly. why am i here what have i done but try and fail at being an intellectual #now im unhappy AND feeling v conflicted about my career and unsure about jobs #:(((( #ive decided to skip class tonight. i need to go home. sleep. work on assignments. #18 yr old me just. i know she tried her best but also FUCK. #anyway im going thru it yall. i am deadass this close to just. a complete breakdown at work

[delusion-of-negation]

okay, tbh I'm still baffled by this, so yesterday I saw a post that was like "ugh, these teenagers are going to say bo burnham is "mentally ill", it always happens" or similar phraseology, and it is blowing my mind okay. bo burnham, the guy who's talked openly in shows and interviews all about how he has symptoms of anxiety/panic disorder, like panic attacks, who's mentioned a few times symptoms of derealisation disorder, who's talked about his suicidal ideation, who's said repeatedly that his mental health is bad, it is even mentioned that he got treatment, and I am probably forgetting more things. you really wanna tell me it's outlandish to say he's maybe got mental health issues? what they are is just between him and his professionals, but they're definitely there my guy. get off your high horse about this, it's not teenagers forcing a label on him, it's something he's literally talked about, it doesn't need to be explicitly named (and really you shouldn't expect people to do so) for what he's said to be talking about mental illnesses.

#might piss off the noooo everything you do needs to be spun as evil fandom with this #I just think bo burnham should be allowed to talk about his mental health issues in peace #without you imagining up a teenager to be angry at because they acknowledge it as such #like I get the internet sometimes goes buck wild with invasively assessing everything #trying to hunt for signs of this or that in the most benign and normal behaviour for fun #but that's not what's happening here and it really is shitty to paint it as such tbqh #oh fuck yeah I did miss one he literally says that he's been depressed and uses his real name #to really drive home the point that it's real and not part of the act or whatever #edited to delete the mention of when he hit himself while stressed because while it is a symptom #and while he did optionally choose to include that part in the finished piece so okay with you seeing it #idk I'm personally a bit uncomfortable with talking about hurting yourself in front of people #which I realised afterwards including it in the show kinda was and it made me feel odd #not towards him I respect his decisions but odd about talking about it myself I mean #the original post definitely had mentally ill in quotes btw that threw me the most