#In some real life need of current blogs

[oscill4te]

One day i will not be obsessed with the cr/amp twins. Maybe i will like it a normal amount. Or maybe not even like it at all one day. I intertwined that show too deeply with my identity. Generally when I am super hyperfixated on something, i am using it as escapism from thinking about my real life.

#like to me 2023 is just mass escapism via an obscure cartoon and internet addiction. kind of sad. #2022 was awful though so 2023 is a mass improvement but damn #some parts of myself looove the show. others parts hate it for what it represents in my life. #i also should stop using tumblr/my phone or at least limit my usage. but. one day at a time #escapism is just nice in general #txt #not in the longrun but it feels so great in the moment being immersed in something that isnt your real life #when your current real life sucks ass but feel too scared to make those big changes that are essential #to you being happy and stable in the long run #easier to forget your real life and just watch shitty cartoons. idk. i shouldn't even be blogging this stuff publicly lol #like i am genuinely not well. i am a benign lolcow. #who overshares and tbh i never even expected this blog to even get followers o.o so now im like #maybe i should stop. i dont know. find better outlets. lol #maybe try to connect with my realworld. my brain desperately doesn't want to leave the fantasy escapism world it created though #i feel like an age regressed loser and idk I want to shape up so badly #im 24 i should be way more ahead than this yknow. i just stagnated in 2023. because 2021-2022 was so awful #idk its complicated man #like 2023 was needed. but it is such a hazy blur. it feels so unreal. we are still in 2023 and it already feels so far away #i feel i need to try to change my life and priorities in 2024. i just have no roadmap. no people to ask.. #i have to teach myself on my own. ill probably make a lot of mistakes but thats okay #my next goal is to try a new job even though it scares the everliving shit out of me #i accepted i wont be able to drive safely so I need to carefully plan. i need to be okay with taking risks. i need too. #i need to work on my tardiness social skills and my appearance so I can get a new job too without insta rejection #i dont know. i want to prove my family wrong too and have good things. good mental health. financially stable. takes care of herself. #ik spite is a shitty motivator. but i just wanna prove it to myself. that I am capable of m #okay too many tags smh. gonna stop here

[heartlessmonsterlover]

I brought back an old OC of mine who's a single father that got turned into a vampire. The thing is I made him in high school and spent a lot of time thinking about you know...before his kids were born. For "fleshing out the character" and not because of my repressed interests. Anyway since he's back, so is his backstory.

#my ocs #his name is newton you can find more normal/current timeline/vampire!newton stuff of him on my main blog #and stuff about his daughters (they're 12 when the Main Story happens) #anyway the backstory that i had in the original draft: #he left his hometown after some family drama #i'm talking just grabbed all his stuff and fled #briefly explained to his boyfriend and then DIPPED letting everyone in his hometown wonder if he fuckin died or something #and he's trying to Start His New Life getting an epic job like 10 states away #then he finds out he's pregnant but he's kinda thrilled kinda debating whether to call his old bf #but he figures well i can pass this off as Regular Stomach for the first bit yeah?? #then finds out it's twins and he's like -___- of course it is #after he has his daughters he decides he's Not Doing That Again and he's a great single dad <3 #plus in the original draft the ex bf did come back b/c he heard that newton Died For Real #except he didn't he just died and came back as a vampire #and the bf (creatively named hunter) was (for independent reasons) a monster hunter so he was like #i just met these kids but i will kill for them and protect them from this scary monster- #oh nvm he's kind of chill right now. hey you need me to babysit your kids while you work out your new vampire stuff? #pregnancy #oc: newton

[feminist-space]

Article by Fortesa Latifi:

"Being the child of an influencer, Vanessa tells me, was the equivalent of having a full-time job—and then some. She remembers late nights in which the family recorded and rerecorded videos until her mother considered them perfect and days when creating content for the blog stretched into her homeschooling time. If she expressed her unease, she was told the family needed her. “It was like after this next campaign, maybe we could have more time to relax. And then it would never happen,” she says. She was around 10 years old when she realized her life was different from that of other children. When she went to other kids’ houses, she was surprised by how they lived. “I felt strange that they didn’t have to work on social media or blog posts, or constantly pose for pictures or videos,” she says. “I realized they didn’t have to worry about their family's financial situation or contribute to it.”

Vanessa, who requested anonymity to speak freely about her family dynamics, says she helped create content for huge companies like Huggies and Hasbro when her mom landed endorsement deals. When she reached puberty and began menstruating, her mother had her do sponsored posts for sanitary pads. “It was so mortifying,” she says. “I just felt like I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.”

Being part of an influencer family changed everything about her life, Vanessa says. “Sometimes I didn’t know where the separation was between what was real and what was curated for social media.” And her mother’s online presence indelibly warped their relationship. “Being an influencer kid turned my relationship with my mom into more of an employer-employee relationship than a parent-child one,” she says. “Once you cross the line from being family to being coworkers, you can’t really go back.”

...

Khanbalinov has had zero new offers since he took his kids offline. “When we were showing our kids, brands were rolling in left and right—clothing companies, apps, paper towel companies, food brands. They all wanted us to work with them,” he says. “Once we stopped, we reached out to the brands we had lined up and 99 percent of them dropped out because they wanted kids to showcase their products. And I fought back, like, you guys are a paper towel company—why do you need a kid selling your stuff?”

The law has woefully lagged behind the culture here, but there’s signs that policymakers might finally be catching up. In 2023, in addition to Illinois, three other states—New York, Washington State, and New Jersey—proposed bills to protect influencer kids. Contrast that with the flurry of legislative activity in just the first two months of 2024. Seven more states—Maryland, Georgia, Ohio, Missouri, California, Arizona, Minnesota—have introduced similar legislation. Some of the bills are going one step further to protect the privacy of the kids featured in this content. In some states, proposed legislation would include a clause that borrows from a European legal doctrine known as the “right to be forgotten”—it would allow someone who was featured in content when they were a child to request that platforms permanently delete those posts. None of the current legislation introduced, however, would outright bar the practice of featuring minors in monetized content.

...

The movement on this issue was glacial for years, but it finally feels like the ice has thawed. Much of that progress is thanks to activists like Cam Barrett (she/they), a 25-year-old creator (@softscorpio) who uses TikTok to talk about her experience of being overshared in their childhood and adolescence. Barrett doesn’t go by her legal name anymore because of the online history it’s tied to. “I love my legal name,” Barrett tells me. “I just don’t love the digital footprint attached to it.” Last year, Barrett testified in front of the Washington State legislature as a proponent of a bill to protect influencer kids. This year, they testified again—this time, in front of the Maryland legislature.

“As a former content kid myself, I know what it’s like to grow up with a digital footprint I never asked for,” Barrett told the Maryland House of Delegates Economic Matters Committee in February. “As my mom posted to the world my first-ever menstrual cycle, as she posted to the world the intimate details about me being adopted, her platform grew and I had no say in what was posted.” And yet, Cam says her activism has been healing.

For Cam and other influencer children, getting a paycheck won’t give them back what they lost—a normal childhood unobstructed by the cameras pushed into their faces. But it could be the beginning of some version of restitution. “My friends say I’m fighting for little Cam,” she tells me. “It feels very healing because I didn’t have anyone to fight for me as a kid.”"

Read the full article here: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a60125272/sharenting-parenting-influencer-cost-children/

#children of influencers #influencers #children's rights #social media #fortesa latifi

[meanbossart]

i just need to take a second to gush about how much i love durge drow and astarion, they feel so fleshed out and perfectly written together in their fucked up wretched ways. They really inspire me to write more for my own tavs, hopefully one day ill be able to say im as happy with my own work as i get when seeing yours. I have to ask though, do you have any tips on drawing head shapes and faces? or maybe about wrinkles? i find i really struggle with that stuff when drawing and i adore how expressive and grungey all your art looks!

First of all thank you so much, I love hearing what people think of the two of them together 😭

Honestly you've hit on something that's quite near and dear to my heart, I love developing and figuring how to draw and stylize different faces to get the most unique, interesting looking results - everything about the details is highly rewarding to me. What does x type of nose look like from this angle? In this style? How can this eyeshape best translate to my art? How different does a face look when its making this expression? What does that MOUTH DO? etc etc.

In fact you kind of inspired me to put a little tutorial/guide together the last hour lmao and what a blessing it is that the two current subjects of this blog serve as great models here, being that their faces are basically polar opposites!

When it comes to heads, you've probably heard it a dozen times before that you want to think of them in terms of geometry and facets; my process to drawing them is pretty conventional so I won't spend too much time on it, but it goes something like this:

Obviously I don't do every single one of these steps most of the time, which is just something that comes from practice/developing muscle memory, but it is helpful to start off this way for two main reasons:

By making these guide lines and splitting a head into pieces like this, you'll have an easier time seeing and understanding it as a multidimensional object, and in turn, facilitate It for you when you venture out into doing wacky angles and lighting.

Making different headshapes starts HERE. notice how Astarion's "face" slate is narrower and longer, how my durge's jaw pieces sit lower on the head, how all of the same pieces came together in the same way but we ended up with one real pointy elf and a real brick of a drow - making characters look different successfully begins very early in the sketching process.

The next thing you want to do branches out into every day life: start noticing yours and other people's facial features. How does an upturned nose look from a high angle? How does the size of someone's cheekbones affect what they look like when they smile? How about when the light hits them a certain way? Does someone's lip shape changes when they pout? When they laugh? How does a person's hairline change the shape of their face? You do NOT need to creepily sketch every stranger you see on the bus, but get into the habit of actually noticing what people look like when you talk to them - when you look at pictures, when you watch movies - make a mental list of interesting ways mouths, noses, and eyes can come together in a variety of different proportions to make completely distinct looking mugs, and how they change depending on how you are looking at them.

Light and shadow play a HUGE role in how faces look, too, basically as crucial as actual bone structure does. As you see up there I tried to rough out how natural, head on, and underhead light would look on these two very different looking guys, and while we can see definite patterns, there are small differences that come to be because of the sizes and shapes of their features.

Here is a very, very basic look at how some of these features come to look the way they do, how they interact with one another, and how they compare between a blocky, rather conventionally "masculine" head and one that's much softer and slimmer.

Note please that it is not one or two characteristics that give a chaarcter their "look"; you can reduce a face to eyes, mouth, and nose through stylization and still have them be recognizable, but if you want to do more than that, you have to consider the whole package! Chin, cheeks, brows, direction of the jaw, slope and size of the forehead, depth of eyes, ridge of the nose, etc - I know this is probably far more than you bargained for, but if you start making note of a FEW of these things now and slowly add on, this will eventually become second nature to you.

Similarly, understanding how these characteristics come together will help you with rendering light and shadow in a realistic way, and predicting what their facial expressions may look like - if no two people are alike, neither are their smiles. :)

Lastly, remember that I'm no expert - I have developed my own methods and semiotics and yours may look slightly (or vastly) different, and that's fine! I hope only that by sharing this it has given you a base to work off of.

Anyways, I HOPE this has been helpful and not just the unsolicited ramblings of a face pervert.

#ask #art #advice #tutorial #astarion #DU drow

[beegalactica]

The real 'glow-up' is all mental.

With it being the prime season for the 'how to glow up' guides to make their rounds in the media we consume, it is always worth reminding yourself that the only way you are going to 'glow up' on the outside is if you 'glow up' on the inside.

I personally get annoyed with the whole glowing-up phenomenon because it perpetuates this idea that there is some kind of 'end goal' in life and once you reach it, everything will be perfect. In a world where the idea of what it means to be attractive, intelligent, successful, or desirable in any way is constantly changing, there is only one constant: YOU.

You are a lifelong investment, and you are worth every penny, second, and ounce of effort you put into yourself.

Let's go over some of my glow-up tips and habits for you this year and examine how much of your levelling-up will really need to take place in your head.

Invest in your hygiene. This doesn't mean buying the most expensive skincare and having a 30-step routine, this means brushing your teeth every day, taking showers regularly and looking after your hair. Of course, we all want to achieve that 'clean girl aesthetic' but to me, simple hygiene is the best way to send a message to your body and mind that you care. Nothing says "I love you just the way you are" to your body like taking the time to clean it, care for it and pay attention to what it needs.

Invest in your surroundings. Now I know, making your bed every morning can be an unnecessary waste of time, especially if you're just going to end up getting back into it at night, but I like to think that my surroundings reflect my mental state, so if my room is a mess, best believe my mind is a mess too.

Invest in your interests. Start a hobby, pick up a new skill, try to find a book that interests you, or even start a Tumblr blog 😉😉! This year, I am focusing on really cultivating myself and becoming an interesting person who has things to talk about with people, instead of mindless gossip or resulting in self-deprecation to entertain others.

Invest in your happiness. Do what makes you happy. Distance yourself from those who seek to pull you down, to prop themselves up. You are worth so much more than that. Sometimes, those people are in our households, and the only way to cope is to know what makes us feel good and chase that happiness. Know that whatever issue you are facing shall pass and you will feel good again.

There is a common belief among people who may struggle with their self-image that once they fix this, or change that, everything will be perfect, but as someone who has had that mentality, it won't. If you want to lose 10kg for example, but hate your current body, waking up skinny tomorrow won't fix that voice in your head that tells you that you're still not good enough. If you love yourself as you are, and acknowledge that exercising is a form of self-love, and it doesn't take away from it, that mental glow-up will begin to manifest itself physically.

What's the point of others complimenting you daily if you don't believe it or can't accept it because you don't think of yourself the way that they do?

Trust me when I say this, my biggest milestone on my 'glow up journey' was not losing x amount of weight, but looking at myself in the mirror, first thing in the morning with no make-up or styling, and still being able to say "Damn, I'm so beautiful." And I can confidently tell you that to reach this point, I didn't set the intention of losing weight and trying to become more beautiful, I set the intention of loving and accepting myself the way that I am and all the actions that followed after stemmed from this love that I have. I didn't feel the need to exercise because I wanted to be skinny, but because I knew that it was what my body needed, and I loved my body so much that I was willing to do that for her.

It's easy to get wrapped up in so many things and lose sight of yourself, but when that phone is off and you're all alone, disconnected from the rest of the world, what do you say to yourself?

P.S. If you're reading this thank you all for the love on my first post! Opening Tumblr every day to new notifications has created this sort of excitement and extreme joy that I didn't even know was possible! Stay safe and take care of yourself 💗💓

#lifeblr #girlblogging #girlblogger #it girl #that girl #becoming that girl #glow up #it girl energy #clean girl #glow up tips #self improvement #self development #how to glow up #self care #self love

[star-anise]

Everyone's got a take, and I've got a take too, about the current Internet Villain: James Somerton, a gay Youtuber who just got exposed (in the back half of a 4-hour video) as massively plagiarizing the work of LGBTQ+ media critics, historians, and memoirists, and then exposed in another 2-hour video as just making up the wildest nonsense about the topics he demonstrably had access to accurate information on.

He achieved a six-figure income on his work by squeezing money out of his audience with claims...

That only he was creating content that preserved queer history and elevated the voices and experiences of the LGBTQ+ community (a lie)

He was in serious financial distress and would have to go out of business if people didn't give him tons of money (a lie)

That he was going to use some of that cash to make definitely good and not-at-all-plagiarized independent movies, a thing he was definitely skilled and experienced enough to do (a lie), and

That those plagiarism allegations were incorrect,, and frankly,,,, hurtful and homophobic. (a GIANT lie)

Like, here's a visualization of the script of one of his videos, "Society and Queer Horror". The highlighted bits were lifted nearly verbatim from the works of others—the 18 authors identified at the time the exposé was posted—and presented as Somerton's own work.

So here's what drives me absolutely up the wall about this:

If he had just ADMITTED that it was the work of other people, THAT WOULD STILL BE COOL. If he had just said, up front, "We are going on a survey of thoughts and insights people have had about this topic", that would still be a good video with a real audience!

Like yes, he studied business in university, he might not have gotten the kinds of research skills and knowledge someone like Kaz Rowe uses to not just report on the history and analysis of others, but evaluate their relative validity and trustworthiness.

But honestly, since watching my niblings (oldest is 13) watch Youtube, I think you honestly can't underestimate the number of viewers who are really hungry for someone saying, "I don't understand this topic! Let's explore it together!"

But NOOOOOOO, Somerton didn't want to be just some schmuck waxing enthusiastic about homoeroticism on film and acknowledging the smartness of other people. He wanted to be HIM, MR. SMARTYBOY, very sophisticated and alluring and thoughtful and deep. Definitely an intellectual heavyweight who just happened to spout off his own personal ideas and analysis that put him at the forefront of all the scholarship on the topic he's come across.

I hate being wrong. Hate being wrong. But blogging for most of my life has forced me to confront constant textual evidence that two or ten or twenty years ago, I said some dumb-ass shit. Honestly, it'd probably keep me up at night sometimes even if I didn't have a written record. I absolutely understand the desire to scan the field, find the coolest people around, and quickly clothe yourself in as perfect an imitation of them as you can manage.

But if you want to be an artist or a scholar who produces something lasting, you can't prioritize coolness over truth all the time. To develop your true, independent voice, you need to find a time and place where it is just you and just the work you're doing, and you have pick up your tools and say, I don't know if I'm doing this right, but this is what feels right to me.

There are a lot of things in life to which we can only truly contribute our presence and our perspectives. Things we can only witness or hold space for. We cannot go back and bleed the pain out of history, or erase the complexity of another person's life. Not honestly, at least.

But those are the times that need our presence, our perspectives, our witness, and our space. When we gather round and tell sad tales about the death of kings, honesty can be the only thing you give that's worth a damn in the large scale of things.

If this dude had owned up to the truth and honestly showed the work of trying to piece together a queer understanding of the world, trying to draw the threads of culture together until he found a place he fit inside them, it would have been so much more valuable to our culture as a whole.

He probably made more money this way, though. While it lasted.

#staranise original #james somerton #plagiarism #lgbt discourse

[minniesmutt]

♱ ━━━━━━ 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋: 𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍 

♱ ━━━ CONTENT: INDIRECT MENTIONS OF MURDER, GUN MENTIONS, THREATS ON READERS LIFE, MENTION OF PROSTITUTES, STD MENTIONS, NON-SEXUAL NUDITY, FINGERING, EXHIBITIONISM/VOUYERISM, QUICKIE, PROTECTED SEX ♱ ━━━ WC: 2.6K ♱ ━━━ PAIRING: CHAN X READER ♱ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog ♱ ━━━ a repost from my old blog

     “So, I fucked a mafia boss?”

     “More or less,” Changbin replied

     “That’s kinda hot,” Y/n shrugged

     “Congrats Chan, you didn’t scare her off,” Seungmin gave the leader a thumbs-up

     “Can I get an explanation on the ‘Chan’ part? That’s the thing throwing me off.”

     “Did you tell you his name was Chris?” Felix asked

     “That’s what Changbin and I heard last night, or, early this morning?” Jisung stated

     “That’s embarrassing, damn.” Y/n sighed

     “I can kick them out still,” Chan told her, praying she’d tell him too

     “No, I want more of an explanation.”     Y/n was persistent, that was for sure. Felix took to explaining the current situation; alias’, how they all met, fell into crime and violence together, etc. Leaving out what they actually had done and what they did every day. The club front and mentioned a few others they had because eight people running one club were suspicious.

     “Wow, okay that’s a lot,” Y/n sighed, taking in the information she had just given

     “Chan,” Changbin said

     “Yeah. You guys get to work.”     The words left his lips and the seven guys made their way out of the penthouse, leaving the two. Chan sighed and turned from where he stood next to the counter to stand between her thighs, hands pressing against the cold counter. Y/n wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer.

     “I didn’t plan to tell you any of this,” Chan brought one hand up to hold her chin between his thumb and pointer finger

     “Is this the part where you tell me I can’t go back to my regular life? That I know too much?” Y/n was half joking. She’d read a couple of mafia lover books before, if they were anything like real life, she could guess what was coming.

     “You either stay with us or we make you disappear.” The look in his eyes was serious. Y/n just smiled at him.

     “You know, normal people don’t smile when their life is on the line,” Chan notified her

     “Well, guess I’m not normal then. You’re stuck with me.”

     “Y/n, please tell me you’ve thought this through.”

     “What? Stay with a hot gang leader who’s very sweet and has some funny friends who are equally as attractive or die?”

     “You’d be giving up you’re whole life, friends and all, princess. We can’t risk you running to the police.”

     “Chrissy, babe. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m not entirely right in the head. I don’t think a sane person would be as calm as I am about this whole thing. I swear I won’t go to the police or tell my friends about this. Most they will know if you’re a club owner and ask for free drinks. Do you want me to make a blood oath to you or something?”

     “No, you don’t need to go that far. It’s… It’s a lot more than me.”

     His head dropped as well as his hand. Laying on her thigh, “You wouldn’t be the first person we’ve brought into this. It usually doesn’t end well when they agree to stay.” 

     “Hey,” Y/n grabbed his face and made him look at her, “What aren't you telling me?”

     “Besides that, my friends are just as smitten with you as I am, if you stay with us you are going to get caught up in everything.”

     “That seems like a given. But I think eight hot men are good bodyguards.”

     “Just how fucked is that pretty little head of yours?”

     “I'm sure you'll figure it out soon,” Y/n pulled him in for a kiss.

     Chan laughed a bit as he kissed her back, gripping her hips, and pulled her closer to the ledge of the counter. Y/n pressed her torso up against his bare chest, hands wandering down to his shoulders and gripping his biceps. “You sure you wanna stay?” Chan pulled away from her lips.

     “Yes, Chris. Now stop worrying and fuck me again.” 

     Chan smiled, “You know, the guys are gonna want you too, right?” he leaned in and kissed down her neck

     “I don’t mind getting passed around,” Y/n chuckled, “But can you share?”

     “I can,” Chan answered, snaking and hand from her hips to under his shirt.

     He pushed his finger between her folds and let his thumb slowly run circles along her clit. Y/n laid her head back on the cabinet behind her as he pushed two fingers inside of her, slowly pumping them in and out of her.

     “Fuck Chrissy.”

     “Love when you call me that,” His voice was muffled against her neck. 

     “Chan! Do you not have you’re fucking phone on you!” Minho’s voice rang

     Chan sighed, not once even stopping his ministrations on her, “What is it now?”

     “Felix got into the cameras at the docs. A bunch of lower-grade thugs go—” Minho walked into the kitchen, “Before I go further, what are we doing with her?”

     “She’s staying with us,” Chan didn’t miss the smirk on his friend’s face.

     “Well, lower-grade thugs got their hands on some bigger-grade guns and ballistics—” Minho explained the situation but Y/n wasn’t paying much attention as Chan slipped a third finger into her and pressed harder on her clit. Chan’s attention wasn’t even on her anymore, he was fully involved in his conversation with Minho. She bit her lower lip to keep her moans at bay.

     “Don’t be quiet on the count of me kitten,” Minho stated, smirk returning to his face.

     Her eyes flickered over to the other man. The moment she caught his gaze, she clenched around Chan’s fingers. Minho’s eyes drifted across her body as he continued speaking with Chan. Eyes lingering just a tad too long on her exposed thighs. 

     “Find the guys and call me, I’ll handle it from there.”

     “You going to have your phone on you this time?”

     “Yes, now go.” 

     Minho smiled, leaving the two of them. Chan turned his attention back to the woman in front of him. His lips went back to her neck while his fingers picked up the pace inside her. 

     “You like being watched when you’re getting fucked,” Chan chuckled 

     “Don’t know what you mean.” His fingers left her seconds later, making her whine

     “I felt you clamp around my fingers when Minho walked in. Don’t play dumb,” Chan pulled himself out of his pants.

     “I could say the same for you. You didn’t stop fingering me when you were talking to him,” Y/n added as he opened a drawer and rummaged around before pulling out a condom, “Do you just conveniently keep condoms in your kitchen?”

     “You never know where you’re gonna fuck, might as well be prepared,” Chan smiled as he tore open the wrapper, rolling the rubber onto his cock

     “Thought you didn’t bring others home.”

     “Princess, we’ve all used prostitutes before,” Chan explained as he pulled her down from the counter, turning her around so his back was against his chest.

     Before she could even comment, Chan pushed into her in one fell swoop. Y/n let a high-pitched moan fall from their throat as leaned forward, putting her hands on the counter in front of her. Chan smiled, holding onto her hips and leaning forward, “So pretty,” he whispered against her neck

     He pulled back and thrusted back into her, not at a slow pace but also not at a fast pace. His lips left kisses along her neck, hands traveling away from her hips and pushing the t-shirt up. 

     “Faster,” Y/n groaned as his hands groped her breasts. 

     “Not yet princess,” Chan chuckled and his fingers tweaked her nipples

     Y/n gripped the marbled counter as her head hung low, deep shallow breaths falling from her lips, slightly pushing herself back onto him, meeting his steady thrusts. 

     “Trying to fuck yourself on me, Princess?” Chan gave her one rough thrust that stopped all thoughts in her head

     Chan was quick to learn last night the effect he might have had on her. Now he was certain of it and it made him smile. 

     He stood straight behind her and grabbed her hips again. He pulled back to the tip and quickly and roughly fucked back into her. Laughing at the curses that fell from her mouth. One hand moved down from her hips to rub her clit. The bit of pressure made her walls clamp around him and the knot in her stomach tightened faster between his thrusts and his fingers.

     Chan’s thrusts were making it hard for her to do— let alone think of —anything. Hands slipping from the counter a bit, taking Chan’s notice. He moved his other hand up from her hip up to the column of her throat. He had a loser hold there as he pulled her back against his chest. Y/n grabbed onto his arm to ground herself, just a little.

     “Even prettier like this,” Chan chuckled before she came undone on his cock. Chan thrusted up a few more times before coming in the condom. 

     Both caught their breaths before Chan pulled out and tossed the condom in the garbage. Y/n leaned against the counter before she was scooped up into his arms and carried back into the large bedroom. 

     “Don’t forget your phone or Minho will kill you,” Y/n giggled as he brought her into the bathroom 

     “I’d like to see him try,” Chan replied. He set her down on the counter before turning on the facet in the tub. Chan stepped out momentarily and came back with both their phones. 

     “Oh shit. Where was mine?” Y/n asked

     “On the floor in your bag by my bed,” Chan answered

     “Didn’t know I dropped it last night. Whoops,” Y/n grabbed her barely alive phone to check her messages 

     “We were both busy,” Chan smiled as he kissed her neck before going back to fix the bath for them. 

Karina: Im so fucking pissed. That dick was terrible last night and now I’m hungover as fuck Seana: I’m assuming none of us came last night then Karina: probably not Y/n? Did you go home with anyone last night

     It was pretty obvious that her two friends she was hanging out with had just gotten home. “Am I allowed to tell my friends I fucked the club owner?” Y/n asked

     “As long as that’s all you say,” Chan replied

     Y/n smiled at him. 

Y/n: I did!  Seana: oh bitch. who? Y/n: the owner 🤭

     Chan came up and stood between her legs and watched her screen 

Karina: no way! I don’t even think the employees have seen the owner. How do you know the guy wasn’t lying? Seana: someone’s jealous 🙄 Karina: im just saying. it’s unlikely 

     “Karina seems like a bitch,” Chan noted

     “She’s been worse.” Y/n sighed

Y/n: If this penthouse is anything to the money that club brings in 👀 Seana: YOU’RE STILL THERE Y/n: He knows how to make a girl cum and I didn’t have to tell him to put a condom on. fuck yes I’m still here Karina: damn. didn’t wanna go raw 🙄 Seana: that’s why you have an std, dumbass Karina: UNCALLED FOR??? Y/n: gtg. talk later 😉 Seana: have fun babe 😉 Karina: does he have friends?

     “I stand by my previous statement,” Chan said as Y/n set her phone to the side

     “Yeah. I just keep her around for entertainment at this point.” 

     “Bath’s ready Princess.” Chan slid his hands under the t-shirt she had on

     “Join me?” Y/n asked, hands wandering down to his sweats

     “Of course,” Chan slipped the shirt off and tossed it to the ground. Y/n pushed his pants down before he took over. Y/n hopped off the counter and Chan guided her over to the tub.

     He got in first and laid back against the porcelain as she got in and laid against his chest. His arms wrapped around her body. 

     “How do you feel about working in the club?” Chan asked after a few moments

     “Gonna make me a bottle service girl?” Y/n chuckled

     “No. People talk, I need you to listen. You’ll have a front job in management as well. You’re here, I might as well put you to use,” Chan explained 

     “Being you’re fuck toy isn’t a job?”

     “You’re human, princess. Not a doll for us to play with whenever we want.”

     “What exactly would I be doing for all of you then? You mentioned the others wanting me.”

     “We haven’t explicitly talked about it, but from the way they were looking at you earlier, I figured they’d all taken a bit of an interest in you. If I’m correct and they are, you’d be shared between all of us. In return, we’ll provide you with everything you need.”

     “Like a sugar baby? That’s what this sounds like to me.”

     “Whatever you want to call it love. But, you’ll also be an informant for us. Men don't talk to us but give them a pretty face offering a drink and they’ll spill anything.”

     “But don’t sleep with the enemy? Come back to each of you every night?” 

     “Hm. Not every night. I’ll provide you with your own place in the building, we’ll all have free reign to your place as well, but you’ll have the same to our places as well. Some may be a bit more clingy than others so beware.”

     “Do you own the building too?”

     “Yes. It is usually the eight of us that just live here, but now,” Chan leaned down and kissed her shoulder, “You’ll be here.”

     “Sounds like fun.”

     Chan smiled, kissing up her neck before his phone rang. Chan got up from the tub and stepped out. He made his way over to the counter and picked up his phone. “Hello?”

     Y/n enjoyed the warm water, sinking lower. Relaxing her muscles from all they’d been through last night and this morning.

     “Alright. Get over to mine to watch Y/n, I’ll head down there.”

     Her head popped up at the mention of her name. “Where are you going?”

     “Work. Minho and Jisung are coming down to take care of you until I get back. I’m sure Minho will give you some more details on the arrangement,” Chan grabbed a towel to dry off and walked out of the room to get dressed, “I’ll have them take you to your place to pack up what you need. I should be done by the time you get back to have your new place set up,” Chan called from inside the room

     “Alrighty,” Y/n spoke, washing herself off. Chan brought in a clean t-shirt for her and cleaned up the clothes on the floor before he kissed the top of her head, “I won’t be long princess.”

     “Have fun,” Y/n replied. Chan patted the top of her head as he walked out of the bathroom. He sent a text to his two friends telling them to take her to pack her things. He made a quick stop in his closet again to grab his gun from its safe. 

     He made sure it was locked again before he left his room. Minho and Jisung walked in from the elevator. 

     “She’s still washing up,” Chan told them as he headed to the elevator. 

     “Got it, boss,” Jisung said

     “I told her about the arrangement as well.”

     Both the men smiled at the mention. They could have some fun with this.

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#☾━━━━ [𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒] #𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 our angel {mafia!ot8 x reader} #stray kids #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz smut #stray kids x reader smut #bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #bang chan x reader smut #lee know x reader #lee know smut #lee know x reader smut #changbin x reader #changbin smut #changbin x reader smut #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin smut #hyunjin x reader smut #han jisung smut #han jisung x reader smut #lee felix x reader #lee felix smut #lee felix x reader smut #seungmin x reader #seungmin smut #seungmin x reader smut #yang jeongin x reader #yang jeongin x reader smut #yang jeongin smut

[leighsartworks216]

"are you sure about this?" & nervous kisses for Astarion?

I changed the prompt quote a little bit so it would fit better. I also hope this is nervous enough for a nervous kiss lol

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Warnings: nervousness

Word Count: 563

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Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

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You cradle Astarion’s face in your hands, running your thumbs gently over his cheekbones. He looks up at you as though you are one of the gods who’d just given away all your powers just to hold him. His eyes are full of love and adoration.

The dirt of his grave cradles your knees as you kneel with him before the headstone marked with his name. The current year sits freshly carved beside the dates of his old life. The year of his new life. A life no longer governed by fear.

“Are you sure?” you whisper. “Are you sure you want this?”

He holds one of your wrists, keeping your hand in place as he leans into it, brushing his lips across the battle-calloused skin. “Yes.”

“Because we don’t have to. We can wait as long as you need before-”

“Darling,” he softly cuts you off. He smiles. A real, genuine smile. “I want this. I want you.”

You relax into his words, a smile of your own creeping on your face. You nod slightly. He slips your hand from his face and brings it to his lips. His eyes never stray from yours as he places gentle kisses along your knuckles, your palm, and your wrist. Intertwining your fingers together, he lowers your hand in his to his lap and cups your cheek with his other. You look at him like he’s made of pure starlight, as though he’s just come from the heavens to gaze at you like the brightest constellation in the sky.

He leans in slowly until your noses brush, and he stops. He wants this. More than anything. But he doesn’t quite know how. He’s followed a script this whole time - how could he possibly know what’s genuine? His eyes, previously admiring your lips, raise to meet yours. You squeeze his hand, understanding. You make no effort to close the gap for him - you simply wait until he is ready to.

The first time your lips touch, it’s barely a kiss at all. A light brush of lips, testing out the waters, getting a feel to know if this is what he really wanted. And yes, gods yes, it was. He sighs shakily and goes in for more. A proper kiss. Eyes closed, noses side by side. It was still slow, still uncertain, but it was so, so good.

He pulls away minutely so you can catch a breath, and the words fall from your mouth unbidden. “I love you.” A faint whisper in the cool night air. His eyes snap open, studying your face. Before, that admission - a true confession and not some silly lie - would have sent him reeling back, sent him running for any sort of barrier to build between you. But now, he couldn’t imagine a life without them uttered from your lips like a prayer.

He kisses you again, brief but passionate; meaningful. When he pulls away this time, he presses his forehead to yours. “I love you, too. I…” You open your eyes to watch as he finds the words. He sighs quietly, “I mean it.”

You know he does. You smile up at him, bright and sweet, and he can’t stop himself from tasting it. Again and again, until the gravekeeper shouts at you and shoos you off into the dark streets, giggling and holding hands and utterly in love.

---

Tag List:

@hypopxia @flsalazar @beverlybeav @angelofthorr @emiemiemiii @marina-and-the-memes @lynnlovesloki @aurasyn @furblrwurblr @cappsikle @mjmygd @thegirlsadventuresinwonderland @kindadolly @httyd-chocolate @bloopthebat @pandimoostuff @chesb0red @black-star1472 @sessils @olitheghostboy-blog @puppyg1rl666 @maruichio @cyber-dump-171 @katharynmarie @twinkliker3000 @cherifrog

#request #requested #fanfic #fanfiction #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate astarion #baldur's gate tav #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate tav #bg3 astarion #bg3 tav #gn reader #x gn reader #gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader

[eliciana]

Reverse SAGAU: The Weird Door At My Café

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2(here) | ...

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____________________________________

Tw: Reverse!Isekai!Sagau, Normal Au, Café Au, a bit of cussing like this bit 🤏.

Reader: Gn!Reader, Adult!Reader, Café Owner!Reader

Characters: Reader, Paimon, Traveler

Note: Restaurant to Another World animanga inspired au. You can slide into my dms if you ever want to be tagged in my works just tell me what series you want to be tagged in or all of them. thank you <3. Also, I may say that the characters other than the reader may be a bit OOC cause it's been a long time since I played genshin and I'm just finishing all of my works with my knowledge left from playing the game. So sorry about it 🙏🙏.

____________________________________

You stood, motionless, your eyes fixed in disbelief upon the distant scene before you. As the wind cut through the air, a shiver ran down your spine, leaving goosebumps in its wake. The purity of the air surrounded you, carrying with it an intoxicating scent that smelled pure. The warm touch of the sun's rays caressing your skin affirmed that this experience couldn't possibly be a figment of your imagination. A fleeting thought of doubt crept in, but you quickly dismissed it; after all, you had never dabbled in any kind of drugs. This moment, as unbelievable as it seems, had to be undeniably real.

With careful fingers, you gently retrieved your fallen shoe/heel/slipper from the bed of plush, emerald-green grass. As you slipped it back onto your foot, your eyes instinctively wandered upward, transfixed by the expansive stretch of blue sky above you. It was quite unlike the very bright pixelated one you see on your screen. Everything that you see within the door was real and not a nightmare.

____________________________________

After composing yourself, you went inside your cafe, close the door, drag a chair nearest to the door, took a seat on the chair you placed infront of the door, and contemplated life. A deep heavy sigh got out your mouth as you continue looking the the strange thing infront of you. "What now? What do I do? Should I just lock it?" you asked yourself and looked at the door. Welp, well, there goes your master plan. Suprise suprise there's no keyhole and having a key would not make any difference. "Ugh."

You sat up and opened the door again, only to be baffled to see a different scenery other than the distant City of Mondstadt. The door was now currently in the Liyue Harbor. You closed the door and opened it again, you were now in Inazuma. Close, open, and now in Sumeru. Once again, you are now in Fontaine.

"Yeah bye." you closed the door again and returned the chair from where it once was. Contemplating what you should do next, your feet carried you around the whole café. You went to the counter and decided to make yourself something to help with calming yourself first in order to think clearly. It was a good thing that you had brought all of the materials and ingredients you needed in the café because you had thought of opening the café tomorrow. But with how things are now, you don't know what to do.

Teyvat is filled with many dangerous beings such as hilichurls, slimes, etc. You are but a normal human being with no experience in fighting and fighting your baby cousins was not enough of an experience to be able to fight toe to toe with monsters you have only seen through a screen. Yes, a gun would probably best to use but you don't have a permit for that and you don't want to be in jail when you have just barely open your dream café. But nobody had to know, right? What if-

A deep sigh fell from your lips once again. The stress is really getting in to you, huh? The bitter/sweet aroma of (coffee/tea/juice) filled your sense of smell. You were making your favorite, (your choice of coffee/tea/juice). After some time of finishing your drink, you took it along with a (pastry of your choice) that you had in your car, in which you had thought of eating to celebrate the opening, and sat in a chair facing the door. Taking your time in eating/drinking, many thoughts come and go in your head to solve the predicament you are in now. You had even thought of postponing the opening of the café until you had thought of a way on what to do with the door.

Of course you read the fanfics circulating all around the genshin fandom and one of the those that you have read was SAGAU where you might be the imposter or the creator of teyvat or you become a villain or anything in between. The most common of them was being an imposter. What if you were to become the said imposter if one day a person will open the door to your café? What if they kill you? What if-

*creak......*

Your rambling came to a stop as you looked at the door horrified. Oh no no no no no no NO NO NO! YOU JINXED YOURSELF DIDN'T YOU?! THIS DAMNED FATE-

'Oh dear God, Buddha, Allah, Deities, whoever higher being there is, pls help me...' you thought as you clasp your hands, praying to higher beings. Before you could even feel it, tears cascaded down you face to the table. "I'm nOt ReAdy tO dIE yeT... Ughhhhhhhh" you sobbed into your hands loudly like a child lost in a mall.

"Hello?" a person peaked from behind the door.

Fuck.

____________________________________

The Traveler, along with Paimon, was doing their daily quests until they saw something shining in the far distance. Their curiousity made them want to investigate it.

"Hm. Why is a door in the middle of the forest with no support or whatsoever?" Paimon mumbled as the door came into their view. The Traveler also had the same thought.

"Is it perhaps a magic door of some kind? I think w-"

*creak*

The Traveler stopped speaking as the door opened but from where they are right now, they couldn't see who opened the door and couldn't get to ask since the door closed with a loud bang when they were going to get closer.

"Well... that was something..." Paimon looked at the Traveler. "Traveler? What's wrong? BREATHE! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE AT THIS RATE!" Paimon brought tons of fried egg out of the Traveler's bag and smacked it into the Traveler's mouth and forced them to chew the egg.

After confirming the Traveler is back into top condition, Paimon asked them what the hell happened to them.

"I-I don't know. I suddenly felt something when whoever opened that door and the air around me became heavy that it became hard to breathe..." The Traveler shooked their head gently and sighed. "I also felt something strange. The energy of whoever is beyond that door, excluded an aura that is very familiar to me, but I don't know who or what it is."

"Hm. Paimon thinks that we should open that door and see whoever that and see if they truly are familiar to you or maybe perhaps this connection that you feel is related to your sibling!" Paimon twirled around the air, exaggerating her words with her actions.

For once, Traveler thought it was a good idea at first but there is also a flaw in that idea. A flaw that might cause their life if whoever is beyond that door is hostile and will kill them. It is better to be cautious then to be 6ft underground before finding their sibling.

_________________________________________

Taglist:

@udretlnea

#genshin impact #genshin impact traveler #sagau #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau genshin #self aware genshin #genshin reverse sagau #genshin reverse isekai #cafe owner! reader au #gender neutral reader #gn!reader #sagau x reader #genshin x reader #•works[🍡]• #genshin series

[schoolarsugardaddy]

manifestation technique.

(tw: tough love)

okay i'm tired of people trying different techniques because they're so so desperate to manifest that sp/money/dream job/dream lifestyle/wtv.

loa posts and blogs are only COMMUNITY. it's not EVERYTHING. think of it as a, maybe science community, or literature community— where people post their own hypothesis, favourite subjects, favorite experiments, etc. but you don't necessarily have to believe, or even engage in all of it.

STOP. looking at things. FROM THE LACK. STOP BEING DESPERATE.

the point of manifestation is to be relaxed, anxiety free and happy. but you are so desperate and overthink so much that you are forgetting your end goal.

manifestation won't occur unless you really connect w your inner self (directly or indirectly you'll HAVE to connect w your inner self, only then do you manifestations ever come true).

reflect within your inner self. identify your fears. identify the things that make you anxious. identify the patterns your mind has followed in the past when your manifestations did come true. do a little introspection. all these things help you identify your triggers, your strengths and weaknesses and give you a better insight as to WHICH METHOD you should follow. because yes, there are multiple methods. yes, they all work. but NO. you DON'T NEED TO DO ALL OF THE METHODS LIKE A PEASANT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE RULER OF YOUR DESTINY AND YES YOU CAN MANIFEST ANYTHING THAT YOUR MIND FATHOMS AS REAL.

i might make a separate post soon on how you can connect with your inner self/some basic things that you can take care of while manifesting. but listen, your highness. we are DONE being sad and miserable here. it's high time you put on some manifestation pink hello kitty glitter pants and live your best dream life because i kid you not, it's either pain of manifestation and affirmations or pain of anxiety and sadness of your current state of 'being in the desiring state'.

#law of assumption #manifesting #manifest #manifestation #loa #law of manifestation #subconscious #neville goddard #.text

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Too many people acting like the end of GO2 is the end of the whole story and not the end of Act 2 of 3. In a time where it's very hard to find a storyteller you can trust to write things well and give characters a good payoff, Neil Gaiman is worth his weight in gold. Can we just ... wait and see?

Not saying we can't be sad about it (I am DEVASTATED, but I love the angst) but it feels like the line has blurred between the story being sad and the story being some kind of personal attack.

Hiya. Ummm. Everyone is different and is processing it differently. You say you love angst. Not everyone does. For some of who whose real life sucks and consider Good Omens our comfort thing and were not expecting the angst ending is very difficult to put the logical aspect of it not being the ending into heart that is currently broken by it the 'temportal' ending and knowing that the story will continue.

It is okay to put these feelings into texts on our blog, into art, into fix it fics. It is not okay to send any ugly messages to Neil or other co-creators.

I respect all the opinions of people that love every minute of it, or that can move more quickly than me, or that need to process it differently and I expect that they will respect my opinion and accept that the ending of S2 is difficult for me (even though logically I know that is not the end).

#good omens #gos2 #season 2 #GOS2Spoilers #good omens spoilers #ask #me #good omens meta

[sparrowssally]

Okay I lied that last rant wasn’t over

YET ANOTHER THING: I’ve seen a LOT of the blogs on here who ship David and Michael romantically talk about how David is “secretly” queer and how they’re going to be “safe spaces” for him when he’s ready to come out publicly.

Y’all. There is so, so much wrong with this for so many reasons. First of all, aside from a few rumors to the contrary that I’ve never seen any basis for, David has always been straight-presenting. He’s only dated women and is currently married to a woman, with whom he has several children. Yes, one of his kids is non-binary and he is an ardent supporter of them and an ally for the LGBTQ+ community as whole. This is GREAT. It shows he’s an engaged parent and a wonderful ally to the community. However, there is nothing pointing to the fact that that David is queer himself. Him wearing pride pins and wearing the “queer is here” sweatshirt is zero indication of his own sexuality. For all we know, he’s just supporting his kid. Also, all the “better halves” and “work wives” jokes made between the Tennant and Sheen families are clearly that: jokes. They’re all clearly in on the gag and think it’s funny, so they keep using it. There’s been no real life basis for them actually all being in love with each other and in some kind of swingers situation.

Second, labeling David as “queer” when he hasn’t specifically said he is himself is just plain wrong. There’s nothing “safe space” about that. Y’all just want to label him that because you want to fit him into your special little mold, so that your ship of Michael/David can set sail IRL, or so you can feel better represented. If it’s the latter, I encourage you to look at how David is an outspoken ally for the LBGTQ+ community. He’s made his voice known for years about how passionate he is about that community’s rights, and is a great high-profile ally to have. He doesn’t NEED to be queer himself if that’s not truly who he is.

Point is: Don’t label someone with a sexuality they’ve never publicly used themselves just because you want to see them that way.

If for some reason David wants to come out in the future, that’s great and I’ll support him wholeheartedly if it ever happens. But…there is NOTHING WRONG with letting him be in a happy, straight-presenting marriage with his wife. Both of them seem very happy, and both of them continue to be strong advocates for the LBGTQ+ community. Let them live their lives.

#I stg eventually I will stop having to make posts like these #david tennant #georgia tennant #michael sheen #david x michael #good omens #good omens fandom

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

You Need A Resting Season

What is a resting season?

As women, we pour so much into others (family, friends, siblings, pets) forgetting about ourselves. We work ourselves into overdrive feeling empty like life is passing us by and we don't know who we are or what we want. And if you feel this way you need a resting season, a resting season is like going into hibernation pulling away from the world and all of the unnecessary stress that we put on ourselves. While in your resting season, you are going to be quitting a lot of the things you used to do. A lot of high-stress activities that aren’t a priority such as school and work. This is the time for you to rest and pour into yourself. Work on the issues you have with yourself maybe you lack self-love, self-esteem, self-worth, or confidence maybe you want to lose weight and better your skin. It is time for you to invest in yourself and fix the things you can change and not worry about the things you can’t change. For every woman a resting season is different so it is important to know your priorities, the improvements you want to make, and what your resting season is for.

Signs you may need a resting season 

♡ You are burned out. Even though are getting a full night of sleep you have this never-ending feeling of being tired of life, your daily cycle, your environment, and so on.

♡ Life isn’t fun anymore. You feel like you are in a never-ending cycle going from school/work to home. You could be giving too much of yourself to others, leaving no room for enjoyment, hobbies, and self-care.

♡ You're always worried. You may be feeling overwhelmed by all the tasks and obligations you have in life. You constantly have too many thoughts circling in your head never giving you the time to think.

♡ You don’t know what path you're going down. Maybe the dream career you thought wanted you do not want anymore, you have switched your major a bunch of times and still don't feel connected to it. 

♡ Social media Is taking over your life. You spend hours on end on social media watching and reading toxic content and you need to step away and reconnect with yourself and the real world.

♡ You want to level up. You lack self-love and confidence you don’t like the person you see in the mirror anymore. She is tired, overworked, unhealthy, and doesn’t take time for herself.

These are just a few but there can be so many more reasons why you need a resting season. 

I am currently in my resting season 

Some of the reasons above resonated with me a lot I woke up one day and realized I was burned out I was stressing myself out with so many requirements to be perfect, rich, and live a certain lifestyle by a certain age. I switched my major in college a bunch of times I plan on graduating in 2025 with a bachelor in science of psychology but after I'm going to accelerated nursing school. I felt like a failure for a little while thinking I wasted 4+ years of my life chasing a degree that I don't even want now. I didn't like what I saw in the mirror and I had a lot of negative self-talk. But then it clicked to me I needed to check out from life for a little while and focus on myself and work on me. I wrote out my goals, what I needed to fix about myself, and the women I wanted to be coming out of this resting season. And I started that day working on myself  I have changed a lot. I'm still in my resting season working on myself, investing in myself daily to become that woman of my dreams this is why I made this blog<3. 

You can work on yourself without being in a resting season but I recommend resting seasons because they are better for focusing with no distractions other than things you must. If you feel a connection to this post maybe it is time for you to get into your resting season 

I'm open to any comments or private messages if you can relate and please let me know any further topics you want me to cover

#becoming that girl #clean girl #green juice girl #becoming her #that girl #that girl lifestyle #glow up #glow up era #pink pilates girl #dream girl #dream girl life #pink pilates princess #it girl #it girl energy #it girl tips #dream girl tips #feminine energy #feminine journey #that girl energy #that girl routine #wonyoungism #hyperfemininity #hypergamyblr #self improvement #self development #self help #self care #self growth #self love #inner strength

[rejectionofhumanity]

Since my last post about this kind of blew up, I’m going to take the opportunity and talk some more about red flag lists. Specifically, this red flag list posted in an otherkin community I’m part of. I’m not targeting this community specifically, I’m targeting red flag lists as a whole. This is just the one that was easiest for me to find.

Okay, let’s break this down, shall we?

-Claims to be an object: Objectkin exist. I know we exist because I am one. I’m a calculator. A calculator is typing this. Many of us are animists and believe in objects having souls (me included). And psychological objectkin exist too. You don’t get to pretend we’re all trolls because we don’t fit your idea of what otherkinity looks like.

-Size is unusual: I thought otherkin can be anything, including fictional creatures. If someone says, “My kintype is that I’m basically a wolf, but I’m the size of a house”, what right do I have to doubt that? Just because wolves that size don’t exist in real life doesn’t mean they can’t be a kintype. This point is just stupid.

-Claims a high number of kintypes with a majority fictional: Okay, what do you consider a high number? 10? 20? 30? Whatever number you pick is going to be completely arbitrary. What makes that number the number that should separate “valid” otherkin from “invalid” otherkin? Why do otherkin with high numbers of kintypes deserve to be separated? Tell me, in plain language, what is wrong with polykin. Oh, and why you hate fictionkin.

-Claims to be able to physically shift: This one I don’t know how much I can say on, because I don’t know much about the physically nonhuman community and am not a part of that community. But I do know that clinical lycanthropy and clinical zooanthropy exist. If any member of the physically nonhuman community wants to add anything, feel free.

-Implies wanting attention: Everyone wants attention. It’s how socializing works. You give someone attention and they give you attention in return. I clearly want attention. If I didn’t, I would keep all my alterhumanity thoughts inside my head instead of having a blog where other people can interact with my thoughts. And if need for attention becomes disordered, then you’re describing HPD. People with HPD can still be otherkin. Implying otherwise is ableist.

-Reacts defensively when questioned: Yes, otherkin should be able to calmly explain their kintypes. But what if you’re demanded to explain yourself day after day, and people still don’t believe you about your own experiences? Wouldn’t it be reasonable for you to get just a bit frustrated?! Are otherkin just expected to bottle up all that frustration?

-Mentions being unable to live in society: In what context do they mention this? There are many people with disabilities who are unable to live in our current society without a caregiver. Those disabled people… can be otherkin. Shocker. I myself don’t need a caregiver, but I do need many accommodations for me to be able to live in society the same way everyone else does. That’s just how being disabled is sometimes.

Anyway, rant over. I hope this cleared up why red flag lists are BS.

#otherkin #alterhuman #nonhuman #fictionkin #objectkin #polykin

[snaccpopstudios]

Long time, no see, Tumblr!

Hello Everyone! It’s been a while, and we’re so sorry about the silence on our blog! But we have some big, important updates to share with you all. The entire team has been extremely busy with both personal, real-life responsibilities and with game production! On top of this, we have also had a big change in management and production, so we’ve been getting a handle on that at the same time.

I’ll start this by stating that I’m Tobias (he/him), the new social media and community manager, and I’ll be bringing this update to you all! And, all Patreon links provided (minus the ones near the end) are public posts, so you don’t need to be subscribed to a tier to view them, but you still need to be 18+! Now, this goes a bit back, so get a warm drink and get comfy to read this big post because if you haven’t been on the Twitter or Patreon, you’ve missed quite a lot (which is on us entirely! We’re sorry again!) In September 2023, we released a few screenshots on our Patreon showing off some script revisions for the demo of “Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack.” (read them + the update more in detail here!: https://www.patreon.com/posts/sunny-day-jack-90099502) As stated in that post, “A lot of grammatical errors, run-on sentences, etc.. are also being combed out in favor of: - Content that foreshadows future events in the game - Content that is easier to read - And content that more clearly portrays the rules, lore, and restrictions of the supernatural/horror elements in this world

Additionally, more content in general, will be added. Not a substantial amount, but enough to flesh out scenes and make things make more sense now that the world/game has been almost completely outlined.” This post was met with a lot of confusion, as SDJ fans mentioned that they feared the game was being toned down from its original concept. And while our re-writes do actively remove dialogue that unintentionally may be perceived as dubious consent or pressuring the player into sexual/romantic choices, there are no intentions to remove yandere/horror content! We cleared this all up in another Patreon post; a small QnA (here’s that one, again, more in detail!: https://www.patreon.com/posts/q-yandere-is-to-91034309). 

You may be saying “But Tobias! On the Kickstarter, it said there was soft, dubious consent!” And yes, that is true. However, as stated in the 2nd link provided, Our publisher at the time, Project Enso, originally put that warning up. Sauce (they/them) was not happy with that, but PE properly explained that people who were uncomfortable with the infamous "No Route" hadn't had that warning, and thus felt surprised.

This twitter post was the beginning of Sauce’s quest to remove that warning. (https://x.com/SunnyDayJack/status/1560782320533118976?s=20)

[Disclaimer: PE had nothing to do with the writing of the content. They just had to do what was safest!]

Now, you may have noticed that at the beginning of this post, I mentioned a big change in management. In a post made on Patreon in late October 2023, we got introduced to our new Director, Biscuit (she/her)! She’s previously made devlogs on the Patreon, but she’s since been made the Head of Operations for SnaccPop! These are big and important posts, so I really recommend reading them (as well as the previous posts I’ve linked) in their entirety on the Patreon! - Status Update: New leadership, steps moving forward, future of SnaccPop: https://www.patreon.com/posts/status-update-of-91558879 - Q&A: Project Enso departure, AphroDesia, Deadlines and more: https://www.patreon.com/posts/q-project-enso-91850042

But the main points of these two posts above are, 

Sauce will no longer be taking a management role at SnaccPop anymore. Instead, they will take a much necessary backstep to focus solely on creating art and supporting the studio through their continuous work.

The studio has Biscuit as its front-facing figure, but she will be helped out by Perrie (she/her, our current Voice Acting director), Nana (she/her, our current Art director), and other individuals who are key to keeping the content going smoothly at a decent pace. 

SWWSDJ is no longer being released as a full game in November 2024, and is now having Episodic Releases! (Acts 1, 2, 3, and 4)

The Patreon rewards will remain entirely the same. Sauce, as it has been said before, will keep working with us all the way!

Some of you may be wondering what happened with Project Enso and why we parted ways with them, you can read their parting message here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/official-from-92484578

We want to say thank you to Project Enso for all the great work they did for us, however, we believe this decision is the best next step forward to make Sunny Day Jack as best of a game as it can be.

Now, onto some fun stuff! Speed round!

An AphroDesia Game?! The customer is always right! But that doesn't mean that they're necessarily pleasant to deal with…   Available to our $10+ Patreon supporters, you can play a demo of the upcoming mini dating-sim featuring our beloved cutie-pie, TMon, called “ConciUrges.” Featuring 4 endings, two of which are NSFW!

Bachelor of the Month is back! We’re introducing our new icy, and first plus-sized bachelor for the month of December, Jacob Frost (who’s voice has yet to be revealed, but his look has been!) He’s draped out in front of a cozy fireplace, waiting for you to get to know him for $5+~

Another SDJ Demo? You betcha! We understand that there's been lots and lots of content for Sunny Day Jack, and that includes multiple demos that we've released in the past. However, we want to release one last demo. One that includes our new artstyle and script changes that reflect our ideology much more clearly so there aren't any doubts as we move into the future. The release date is TBD!

WE'RE HIRING!! Are you an 18+ NSFW writer and/or an audio engineer? Then you're the person(s) for us! Apply for the position(s) on the Patreon post or the Twitter post!  THE POSISTION IS ONLY FOR THOSE 18+. PROOF OF AGE WILL BE REQUIRED.

Project: DramaBoy As stated in the above linked posts in #5 (more in detail on the Patreon link!) We’re starting up a new project, Project: DramaBoy! As an explanation to non-paying patrons who may have missed our upload of our first teaser (Impish BF Surprises You on Christmas),  we'll be looking to release (hopefully) weekly NSFW and SFW POV Boyfriend audios! Sometimes they'll include characters you know and love-- such as Jambee or Sunny Day Jack. However-- sometimes, they'll include interesting beta concepts voiced by the same VAs from our mainstay projects! Read all about it and see the SLIVER of the list of BFs we’re planning to bring you at https://www.patreon.com/posts/project-dramaboy-94652067 (available to read for free!)

That's all for this update! We know it's lengthy and long overdue, so thank you for your continued support and for taking the time to read! ^_^

#somethings wrong with sunny day jack #sunny day jack #sdj #aphrodesia #visual novel #indie games #game development #minors dni

[sorrowsofsilence]

Burning Out • III

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

I was lost, but now I'm found Under the lights and in the sounds So let us sing and sing it loud That we're not perfect, but we're proud of who we are.

Noah Sebastian is lost. His crime-filled lifestyle is anything but perfect; but everything changes once he meets you.

Words: 6.3k

Warnings: Smut 18+ (female!fingering), explicit language, mentions of drinking, mentions of taking pills, mentions of death

Authors note: Chapter Three - A Dreamlike Heathen: this chapter isn’t as long as I hoped but I do hope you enjoy <3 I’m sorry it took so long for me to upload!!! Songs are Dreamlike by Dead By April and Heathens by Aurora! Also I’m sorry for any mistakes I wanted to publish this and it’s not proofread and it’s currently 1am here and I’m so sleepy lol

THIS IS A FANFICTION USING REAL PEOPLE IN A FICTIONAL SITUATION! I AM NOT IMPLYING THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO THE THINGS IN THE STORY OR ACT THE WAY THEY DO IN THE STORY IN REAL LIFE! IT IS FICTION! IT IS JUST FOR FUN! &lt;3

Tags: @crimson-calligraphyx @lma1986 @spicywhenspeaking @sammyjoeee @shilohrosechicken @princessmarshmallowx @laurpartyprogram @cookiesupplier @nojoyontheburn @lacktoesandtoddlerants @veronicaphoenix @er3nslovergirl @melinacchss-blog @cncohshit @thescarlettvvitch @scrumptiousfestivalpost

“Fuck Noah,” She whispered, panting as she threw her head back into the mirror, eyebrows furrowed in pleasure.

“Oh my god don’t stop.” She moaned, and I obliged, giving her everything I could.

“Come Y/N,” I said between sucking, and squeezing her hips, “be a good girl for me.”

Her legs began to vibrate, her mouth open, sound unable to escape as she shook through her orgasm. I didn’t stop until she physically pushed me away, shallow breaths leaving her lips.

I grabbed her chin, pulling her lips to mine, begging her to taste herself from my tongue.

“Life had broken her; just as it had broken him. But when they got together, their pieces became whole. And they started on their journey, together, mended as one.” - Steve Maraboli

+++++

Noah

Twenty fucking thousand dollars. Twenty.

My mind kept racing over two things. The fact I had to somehow come up with all this money myself; and the fact I slept with Y/N last night. I sat on the cot in our motel room the next morning, head in my hands as my leg bounced nervously.

“I-I should go,” Y/N hopped off the counter, wiping my release off of her stomach before readjusting her shorts.

“wait-” I grabbed her wrist, pulling her back toward my drunken state, “can I see you again?”

She gave me a wry smile, “I’d like that.” She tugged from my grasp but I held her tighter, pulling her into my arms.

My body remained swaying, the euphoria and alcohol mixed, “do you regret what just happened?”

I wasn’t sure if this question was for me, or her.

“No,” She said, her fingertips running up the skin of my neck. She fit against my body perfectly, as if she was always meant to be there.

I had left the bar with the boys minutes after fucking Y/N’s brains out, stealing lingering glances at her figure behind the counter before parting. Even though I was drunk, I couldn’t believe it happened… but I needed a release, a bit of euphoria to ride out through dealing with the crushing news D gave us.

Twenty thousand.

I looked at the anklet D put on me, the green dot blinking periodically. I couldn’t believe the fucking bastard was tracking our every move. He’d followed us for years, but this was next level.

I also had no idea how to get that much money by myself. The boys and I alternated job’s each night for our sanity, but the fact I had to keep a journal and record each place I got the money from, and then submit it to one of D’s bitches so he could ensure only I was doing the work, was ridiculous.

Twenty thousand this month would mean I’d need to get approximately 645 dollars a day since there were 31 days this month. Which realistically didn’t seem too bad once broken down; but some days I could bring in thousands, others, absolutely nothing at all. At least my final day of owing will be a fantastic birthday present to me.

I groaned, flopping back into the mattress on the floor, my thoughts overwhelming. Everything has led up to this moment, and I was still completely fucked.

Jolly sat on his bed, strumming away on his old acoustic guitar that was barely holding onto the strings. With his hands dancing along the neck, I closed my eyes to the rhythm he created, fingers tapping along the beat.

I began humming, words spiralling out of my mouth subconsciously, “I’ve seen the devil, more than I’ve seen god.”

Jolly gave me a slight snicker, continuing to strum, “I like that.”

“I see through you, I know what you are.”

I repeated the two phrases over and over, singing lowly as I continued to drum my fingers. Hmm. I checked the time on my phone briefly, realizing it was 4:30 pm.

I sat up, grabbed my bag and swung it over my shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Jolly asked.

“To see Y/N.”

“Why?” Jolly stopped playing, placing the guitar across the bedsheets.

It's been twenty long years I've cried, but not enough tears I've become the sum of all my fears (I feel scared, so scared)

I stared at him blankly, the cogs within my mind turning to find an answer themselves. Why was I going to see her? Why did I care that I made it for when she got off work at the cafe? Something about her was magnetizing, and I couldn’t help but crave more. I wanted to explore her mind and body; to know her in every way possible.

I don’t have time to think of someone like her; I don’t deserve to think of someone like her.

I have a job to do.

But I don’t care.

“I don’t know,” I turned to look at him with my hand on the doorknob.

Jolly’s eyes watched back quizzically, “I think you should leave her out of this. Break it off now.”

I furrowed my brows, “There’s nothing to break off.”

Jolly gave me a curt laugh, “Yea, which is why you fucked in the bathroom yesterday. Nothing to break off.”

My face warmed, unsure of how he knew. I didn’t think it was obvious.

“She seems like a nice girl. You wouldn’t want to get her killed,” Jolly warned. He wasn’t wrong. This line of business wasn’t exactly safe, and I knew I shouldn’t get Y/N involved.

“She already knows too much,” I said, avoiding his eyes as I stared at the floor.

“Det är inte riktigt rätt möblerat på övervåningen hos dig.” Jolly groaned, rubbing his eyes with his palm. Your top floor is not properly furnished (Mind is a mess).

I rolled my eyes, “Oh don’t bring out the Swedish insults you asshat.”

“Well, I suggest you break her heart now before it’s too late.”

I bit my lip as I opened the door, ignoring his burning words.

“Din jävla fubbick,” I heard the swede mutter before I shut the door. You damn moron.

Guilt washed over my body as I took long strides through the motel parking lot, my mind spiralling and my palms sweating. What am I doing?

Jolly was right; Y/N shouldn’t be mixed up in this; but part of me yearned for her. I haven’t had someone willing to listen to my thoughts for years. I’ve never had anyone else to relate to other than my brothers.

I wanted to share everything about me and learn everything about her, and she felt safe to do so. She was also wildly gorgeous; her e/c eyes glimmered with so much hope, something I aspired to have one day. Maybe I could even share with her. Hope.

You gave me a strength unparalleled But nothing compared to how much I've bled (I feel scared, so scared)

+++++

Y/N

He hasn’t shown up for his coffee again today. Did he regret what happened last night?

I swept between the tables and recalled the previous events. I don’t even know what came over me yesterday, but I do know that I didn’t have any regrets.

I knew my face began to warm as I recalled the way Noah’s fingers dug into my hips, gripping onto me as he pounded into me mercilessly; drowning his sorrows through the pleasure of our bodies.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he stared into me, aching with fervour and hunger, begging me to give everything to him.

I wanna know what it feels like Is it nothing but dreamlike? I wanna touch you now

It was anything but romantic- having a quick fuck in the bathroom of a bar, but I longed for Noah even more after that.

I feel like I’m going crazy. How could he have such a hold over me, especially after finding out he is a criminal? I should be running; so why can’t I let him go?

Lust? Infatuation? Whatever it is, I crave him.

I pushed away my thoughts, finishing the rest of my closing tasks and clocking out. I waved to Annika as I pulled my hoodie over my head, grabbing my bag and de-tangling my earbuds.

As I walked out the door a hand immediately grabbed my own, pulling me towards them. A light squeal of surprise left my lips as he pulled me into his body, giving me a side hug.

“Noah?” I looked up to see a small smile dancing across the man’s lips as he towered over me. My eyes travelled across his neck tattoo, marvelling at its glory before trailing across his face in awe, my heart hammering once again.

His dancing eyes smiled as he wrapped his other arm around me, embracing me fully. I couldn’t help but grin as my face smushed into his chest, inhaling his scent; instantly comforted.

How can it feel so right? It is nothing but dreamlike I'm gonna touch you now

“You came,” I said, surprising myself. The way Noah’s cage felt immensely protective and serene as he embedded me into his chest, left my pulse pounding with elation.

“I wanted to be here for when you got off work,” He said, squeezing me gently before letting go. “Do you want to do something before your next shift?”

I gave him a cheeky grin, “Something?”

Noah licked his lips before matching my smile, putting his finger through the belt loop of my jeans, and tugging me along beside him as we walked down the sidewalk. I flushed at the gesture as he held me next to him as if claiming me for his own.

“I meant like, dinner,” He hummed, “but I also can’t stop thinking about last night.”

“Come Y/N,” he had said between sucking and squeezing my hips, “be a good girl for me.”

A shudder ran down my spine as my mind wandered, and I peered up at Noah, his cheeks flushing through his confession.

“Me too,” I said softly, “Did you want to come back to my place? We could order takeout… because I need to get my clothes for my next shift.”

“I’d like that,” Noah peered down at me warmly.

We walked together in silence, the only sound the bustle of life that surrounded the sidewalk as we passed various shops, heading towards my neighbourhood. For “level two acquaintances” the silence between the two of us was soothing, something that I think shocked us both.

Noah let go of my belt loop, shoving his hands inside of his pockets. I looked over at him, his expression filled with thought and worry, something eating him alive.

“Did you want to talk about it?” I asked gently, looking ahead as the light breeze slid past my cheeks.

Noah was quiet, eyes darting back and forth, “I trust you so much, and I don’t know why.”

I nodded, agreeing with his concern silently, letting him continue.

“and I don’t know who else to talk to about this with…my brothers are too involved and have enough opinions as it is,” Noah said, following me down the path that led us towards my house.

“Remember how I told you we owe a lot of money to this… guy? Well, this month is supposed to be our last month, and then we are finally free.”

I smiled widely, grabbing Noah’s arm in excitement, shaking him gently, “That’s great news! You’ll be done with it forever!”

Noah chuckled darkly, rolling his head to the side in annoyance, “Yeah, well, there’s a catch.”

My grip on his arm fell, a sullen expression taking over my joy.

“I have to get him twenty thousand, myself. The boys can’t help me.”

“Twenty thousand?” I exclaimed, stopping in my tracks to look at him, “That’s a shit ton of money.”

Noah’s hand ran across his face in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I know. I am beyond fucked.”

I blinked a few times in disbelief as we approached the steps to my house, the greeting of Juice’s trill on the other side of the door inviting us in. Noah was immediately bombarded with cat love and he gave the furry animal a small smile, bending down to scratch the top of his head before running his fingers down Juice’s back.

Closing the door I kicked off my sneakers, hanging my bag on the coat rack. Noah followed, placing his black vans politely by the front door; which was when I noticed a small anklet blinking beneath the hem of his pants.

I stared at it quizzically, and Noah caught my gaze. He lifted his leg, mouth forming a tight line.

“Like my new accessory?” Anger seethed from his tongue as he gave me a sarcastic smile, before standing in front of me, completely defeated.

I led us upstairs into my bedroom, “What is it?”

“A tracker.”

I stopped at the top, turning around to look at him, “What do you mean a tracker?” I watched his ankle with cautious eyes, flickering between Noah and the device.

He sighed heavily as I turned back around, opening my bedroom door. Noah immediately flopped onto my bed, inviting himself to lay on his back as he spread his limbs out, “The guy’s name is D, the one we owe. He said that to make sure I wasn’t getting the boys’ help with the money, we all need to wear these fucking trackers. I also need to keep a log of where the money comes from so it matches up with my location, and deposit it each week.”

“And this all happened last night?”

He nodded, and I watched as Noah’s eyes squeezed shut in frustration, tears pricking them. I stood next to the bed, watching for a moment as his chest heaved, crumbling before me. I then crawled next to him, sitting up as he rolled over. He placed his head onto my lap, holding himself against my thighs as silent tears cascaded down his cheeks.

“I…I’m barely holding on,” He whispered.

My fingers began running through Noah’s scalp, lacing themselves through his chestnut strands in an attempt to soothe him, showing my support. I hear you.

My heart yearned for him once again, filled with sorrow and pain as he suffered in torment, dealing with the burden of his demons. Noah didn’t deserve this. He was young when he fucked up, and he hasn’t been able to escape. I saw myself within his pain, my past mirroring back at me.

“I just keep hoping that one day I’ll have something else motivating me- something more than fear, more than spite. I wanna feel like I’m living.”

I listened to Noah’s words as they resonated with me. I too, wanted to feel like I was living.

I had never been part of the right crowd, and I was always getting into trouble, due to the influence of my previous relationships. I followed their shenanigans because I had nobody else to model- and I made some poor choices. I chose to follow them.

However, I also chose to leave- to start fresh and to forget about my past. People can change, and people can grow, and Noah deserved the same opportunity. He was being puppeteered by an evil man; and I wanted to help him escape, as much as he wanted his freedom.

I chewed my cheek in contemplation, fingers still stroking his hair, “let me help you, Noah.”

“Help with what?”

“The money. You don’t deserve to do it alone.”

Noah sat up now, watching me intensely from across the bed, “You’ve built yourself a new life Y/N. Don’t fuck it up now.”

He was right. Why was I willing to risk it all?

“I’ve been willing to fuck it up the second I saw you at the cafe,” I traced his face, analyzing his expression before my mind wandered to an idea; one so insane I couldn't even believe I was about to suggest this.

“I’m going to sound crazy, and I can’t believe I’m going to say this,” I hesitated for a moment, sucking in a breath between my teeth, “but why don't you come live with me? You and your brothers?”

Noah’s eyes widened, lips parting slightly in perplexity. He blinked a few times, and I continued my thought.

“You won’t need to pay rent or anything, so you guys can save money to pay this D guy faster. The motel money probably adds up.”

Noah slid off the bed, standing up abruptly, folding his arms over his body in defence, “You cannot be serious,” he laughed with incredulity.

“Listen, Noah,” I scooted to sit on the edge of the bed, looking up at him, “I was stuck for a long time, and I didn’t have a helping hand… but I have enough to offer you. I know what it’s like to struggle.”

Noah’s fingers ran through his hair as he began pacing, shaking his head, “I don’t need your pity Y/N.”

“This isn’t pity, I swear,” I stood up, approaching Noah gently, holding both of his biceps to keep him in place from his anxious wading, “I wished someone had helped me when I needed it.”

He stared down at me in complete disbelief, his eyes scanning mine for any signs of doubt; but I remained confident in my suggestion, staring at him assuringly.

“so let me help you,” I whispered, reaching up to place a gentle hand on his cheek. With a racing heart, I rubbed my thumb across his skin, bewildered at my words.

He closed his eyes in conflict and placed a hand on top of my own, clammy and nervous.

“Why are you helping a monster?” Noah breathed, leaning into my touch, curious eyes observing me.

“Everyone deserves help. You deserve it.”

What are we allowed to do? What are we allowed to be?

“You’re not a monster Noah,” placing a hand on his other cheek, I stood on my tiptoes, pulling him down towards me, kissing the tip of his nose delicately.

I wanna cross the line with you Let's pass the point of no return

Noah watched me with pure awe, matching me by grabbing either side of my face, and placing his forehead on my own, “You are fucking crazy.”

Is this wrong? I don't wanna know A big mistake? I don't wanna know

I chuckled softly, “I completely agree with you, I think I am insane for offering this.”

I wanna know what it feels like Is it nothing but dreamlike? I wanna touch you now

Noah laughed quietly with me, still in complete doubt. His eyes kept trailing between my own and my lips, as if trying not to kiss me, before giving in.

How can it feel so right? It is nothing but dreamlike I'm gonna touch you now

Noah’s lips kissed me tenderly as he held my face, and I melted into his touch. With each greeting of our lips, the kiss became harder and deeper, the emotion transferring from him to me; radiating between us.

We remained standing, holding each other intimately for a few more moments before Noah pulled away. He rested his forehead against mine once again, brushing his thumb across my lips as his eyes peered into mine longingly.

“I’m sorry, not sorry for breaking into your house; because otherwise, we wouldn’t be here,” Noah said.

“I forgive you, clearly,” I laughed, “but you could always try to make it up to me again if you feel like it?”

Noah let out a puff of air, hands running down my neck along my curves, resting at the top of my hips, “I like that idea.”

I grinned at him, my hands resting at the back of his tattooed neck, the apple and snake teasing me.

Noah leaned towards my ear, warm breath tickling my skin, “I’m craving the way you taste- and I’ve only tasted you once.”

I hummed as he kissed me hungrily again, letting out a sigh of relief. Our heads tilted slowly as they switched from left to right, sharing open-mouth kisses, and devouring each other.

Noah rubbed his hips into my own, a soft moan trailing from my throat. As much as I wanted to continue, I knew I had to go to work soon.

I pushed his chest gently, “It’s already 6… I need to leave for work in half an hour.”

Noah gave me a sly smile, “You underestimating my skills?”

I chuckled, “Not at all.”

“I bet I could make you come in two minutes,” His fingers trailed up the sides of my torso, fingers tracing circles across the skin.

I hummed, “what do I get if you can’t?”

Noah leaned towards my ear, fingers squeezing right below my chest, “then I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk, and you’ll come again.”

My body shivered from his words, and my stomach began to swirl with excitement as Noah’s hands worshiped my body, whispering lustful promises as he peppered kisses down my neck. Noah peeked over at the clock on my nightstand briefly.

“6:04.”

My eyes fluttered shut as the pace of my breathing picked up, Noah leading us towards the wall. My back hit the surface as he pushed his body against mine, heat radiating off of him.

Noah’s hand gripped my wrists as he lifted them above my head, holding me captive as his other trailed down my waistline toward my desire.

I succumbed to Noah’s touch as his touch slid through me, circling and prodding. Whatever he was doing left me completely giving in to his caress; the fact both of us were still completely clothed made this moment that much more invigorating.

Noah’s teeth hooked on my bottom lip as he ravaged my mouth. I moaned earnestly as his fingers sank through my slick, curling towards my need. His palm pushed against me, rubbing and maintaining a repetitive pattern, and my legs began to give out. How he could make me surrender with his hand alone had me flustered.

(I'm in a) (I'm in a) (I'm in a) I'm in a, I'm in a dreamlike state

I rutted my hips towards his touch and Noah smiled into my lips, “so needy,” he mumbled.

I sighed eagerly as he continued his method, my body trembling in response, close to my release.

“C’mon princess, you can do it,” Noah muttered, trailing his lips down my neck towards my collarbone, before snagging his teeth on a sensitive spot. He sucked and nibbled at my skin, branding me.

I didn’t even care, exhilaration taking over.

Noah slipped his fingers out, sliding them up until he reached the top, pressing the pad of his fingers and circling them quickly. I shuddered, my body crumbling as I cried out his name.

Can it feel so right? It is nothing but dreamlike I'm gonna touch you now

Noah smiled into me again as his head lay pressed against my neck, satisfied and prideful of his actions.

My chest heaved as I came down from the high, folding off of the wall into his arms. I clutched onto his sweater for support, turning my head to the clock. 6:08

“That was four minutes,” I panted.

“Looks like I owe you,” Noah’s smug smile said it all.

I chuckled, looking up at him, eyes dilated with satisfaction “Oh, what a shame.”

Noah grinned, the whites of his teeth making my heart flutter. He sat on my bed, adjusting himself in his pants before watching me pace around my room, picking out my work clothes.

I opted for leggings and a tight square-cut long sleeve. I took the clothes out of my closet, holding them to my chest before turning around.

“Uh…” I looked at the brunette, his hair cascading down his face perfectly, “Do you uhm, can you turn around?”

Noah choked out a laugh, “huh? you do realize that I’ve seen you like, partially naked? And literally just touched you?”

My face flushed, “Yeah… but still.”

Noah chuckled, obliging as he turned around on the bed to face the wall. I began stripping, pulling my leggings up before changing my shirt. I peered at Noah, noticing his head whip back around.

“Hey!” I laughed, “No peaking!”

Noah turned around once I was dressed, sticking his tongue out playfully, “Whatever do you mean?”

I rolled my eyes as Noah stood up, scratching the back of his neck, “I’d say we’ve at least levelled up to buddies.”

Yea, fuck buddies.

I hummed, “I agree, definitely more than level-two acquaintances.”

Noah nodded at me with a lighthearted glare, “Friends would be going too far right now though.”

“Definitely,” I mimicked his expression before leading us down the stairs. I peered in the mirror that was hung on the wall next to the door, eyes glancing at the hickey forming on the side of my neck. Fuck. Nothing I can do about that now.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to eat,” I said, “but if you want, you could come to the bar?”

“I’d like that,” Noah bent down to slip on his vans as I put on my black Converse.

I chewed my lip, “Did you want to invite your friends? Maybe talk about the offer?”

Noah stood up, frowning, “Y/N- I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Well, at least ask them, see what they say,” I looked at him with a serious expression, “I wasn’t kidding with the offer. I have the basement finished but unfurnished; and a spare bedroom upstairs. You guys would have your own space.”

Noah stared at the floor, kicking up the side of the carpet nervously, “I mean I’ll talk to them.”

I couldn’t help but smile widely, “Please do. Now lets go or I’ll be late.”

+++++

NOAH

Ruffilo, Jolly, Folio and I sat in a booth at Sammy’s, the three of them watching me curiously as I explained the situation.

“She offered us a place to stay for free,” I peeked over at Y/N, stealing a glance as she catered to a few customers. Her H/C hair fell so delicately around her eyes, and my heart fluttered at how genuine and beautiful her smile was as she poured the drink for the woman in front of her. She lit up the room around her, her energy charismatic and incandescent.

“No fucking way we are doing that,” Jolly said, glancing at Y/N briefly before folding his arms, sinking into the leather of the booth.

“I mean,” Nick began, looking between us, “This would help us out a lot Jolly.”

“-and Noah,” Nicholas said, “Like we pay roughly 130 bucks a night. That’s $3,900 we’d save him right there.”

All of us peered over at Y/N, and she lifted her head, giving us all a smile.

“Why would she do that for you? For us? What’s in it for her?” Jolly said, skeptical.

I had no fucking idea why she would, but I was desperate for any amount of help I could get.

I shrugged, “I don’t know.”

She was selfless, enigmatic, and completely sublime.

“How long have you known her?” Nick raised a brow, plucking a fry from the plate in the middle of us.

I winced, “Er, two days?”

Folio’s eyes bulged out of his head as he leaned forward, chest pressed into the table, “Ain’t no fucking way this is real. She has to be getting something out of it.”

Jolly snorted, “yea, his dick.”

I scoffed, rolling my head back dramatically, “Oh fuck off !”

“That giant ass hickey proves it-”

“Oh, can it Jolly, have any of you ever thought that maybe Y/N is just a nice person?” Nicholas defended.

I grabbed a fry, dipping it in some ketchup before taking a bite, “people like us don’t deserve nice people.”

Ruffilo looked at me disappointedly, “Don’t say that. We’ve done some fucked up shit, but how else have we been able to get by?”

“Plus, we can’t help with the money. D doesn’t know Y/N exists, so he wouldn’t suspect the help.” Nick said, and Nicholas nodded in agreement.

I watched the three of them as they gave me a sullen smile, “I’m worried D will be suspicious that our locations will move though; and that it will put her in danger.”

“She must know there’s a risk, considering you filled her in on everything,” Nick took a sip of his beer.

“Why she’s willing to risk everything she’s worked towards beats me,” I said, sighing heavily.

“Worked towards?” Nicholas asked.

The boys waited for me to answer.

She bargains with the world So everything she wants will come to her With no greed inside her mind She knows what she deserves

“She’s been through some fucked up shit I guess, but she saved a bunch of money and moved here to start over her life. She works two jobs almost every day to afford everything,” I looked back at Y/N for a prolonged period, my heart beating quickly, “She just kept telling me she knows what it’s like, and she wished people helped her.”

“So pity?” Jolly gave me a sarcastic smile, nodding rapidly.

“No,” I defended, “she’s just a generous person.”

We remained silent, chewing our food quietly before Jolly spoke.

“Well, I suppose it’s worth a shot,” He said, eying the fries before staring at me, “for Noah.”

“Yeah, but also you guys. She offered it to all of us,” I said.

Nicholas looked over at her warmly, “That’s kind of her. Really kind.”

We fell from sky with grace And landed in her soft and warm embrace She gave her love, her gift of life So we could live with her

I stood up, walking towards the bar, sitting on a stool in front of her. She nodded to another customer before smiling at me, waltzing over.

“So?” She bit her lip, almost looking hopeful.

I picked at the resin counter, my nail grinding within a divot in the material as I distracted myself from her, “How early can we move in?”

“Tonight if you want.”

Y/N and I shared a look before I nodded, giving a gentle laugh, “Okay. Want to meet your new roommates? Considering you haven’t even met the guys you offered your entire life to.”

Y/N laughed, “yea. I’m realizing how crazy I sound the more realistic this becomes.”

I motioned for the boys to come over and they did, each with a beer in their hand, sitting on either side of me along the counter.

Y/N gave them a sunny grin, introducing herself.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Nicholas said politely.

“You as well,” she nodded, before looking at Folio.

“I’m Nick, Nick folio,” He held out his hand, wrapping around her own and shaking.

She then moved to Jolly, who gave her a curt smile. Although he was stand-off-ish, she greeted him warmly.

“Joakim, but call me Jolly,”

“So, tonight?” I eyed everyone, who all turned to look at Y/N.

She shrugged, “I’m off at midnight. I can help take stuff over.”

“Well, we don’t exactly have a lot. We can probably take everything in two trips,” Nick said.

“I can help, I’ll meet you guys at the motel.”

+++++

We packed everything into our backpacks and suitcases, and my chest tightened at the realization we would be leaving our ‘home’ of the last few years.

“This is crazy,” Nick shook his head as he played Tetris with our belongings, organizing them within our van.

“You gotta admit,” Nicholas began as he carried out the old guitars with Jolly, “It will be nice to be in an actual house for a while.”

“Good point,” Jolly mumbled, “But I’m still suspicious.”

That is why we live like heathens Stealing from the trees of Eden

Y/N made it over around 12:30, and we packed her car full as well; not that there was much room considering how small it is.

All of us stood outside the motel, part of us grieving for departing what we’ve always known; the other relishing in gratitude for this new opportunity.

Y/N placed a hand on my shoulder as I stared at the motel door plaintively.

Living in the arms of freedom And everything we touch is evil That is why we live like heathens

I gave her a sorrowful smile before nodding at my brothers, “Y/N will lead the way.”

I sat in the passenger seat of Y/N’s car, staring out the window as we drove past the buildings towards her neighbourhood; our new home.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. This woman was a complete gift, the strings of fate leaving me confounded yet wonderstruck.

Once we arrived and went inside, Juice greeted the boys, and each of them immediately fell in love with the orange fur ball. Y/N toured everyone around before leading us down to the basement. As Y/N mentioned it was unfurnished, but had a full bathroom. The only items around were a rack of guitars in pristine condition and a few cardboard boxes.

“Holy shit- is that a Martin D-41?” Jolly immediately smiled, walking over to assess the guitars, “and an Ernie Ball Music Man John Petrucci Majesty?”

“Damn, and a Gibson Thunderbird IV Bass?” Ruffilo joined in on the geek-sesh, both of them giddy.

Y/N laughed, “Wow, you must know your stuff. Those were my dads, he was really into music.”

She walked over, grazing her fingers across the strings, “I’ve kept them in his memory, but I have no idea how to play.”

I watched her as she picked up the Martin, handing it to Jolly, “feel free to use them whenever you want; they deserve some love, they were made to be played.”

Jolly’s lips fell open before he smiled warmly, gazing at the guitar, “You’re so fucking cool.”

We all chuckled and I watched Y/N in awe as she interacted with my brothers, taking them in and treating them as if she’d known us all for years.

The stone, the dirt, the dust The unforgiving promise made to us Unworthy of your light, your god, your touch We're guided by the lust

“I only have one blow-up mattress I take camping, but there is a bed in the spare room, and the couch in the living room…” She looked between the four of us until her eyes landed on me.

“Uh,” Her cheeks flushed as she spoke, “we can always share my bed tonight until I can pick up a couple of mattresses…”

We cry the fallen names We cry for those who burned beneath the flame We stand besides the good and brave The broken and enslaved

My face warmed along with her and I coughed, straightening up, “Yeah, no worries.”

The boys watched us, a low chuckle leaving Folio. Y/N grabbed spare blankets, pillows and the blow-up mattress from the closet. She set up the bed, which Jolly dibsed. Nick took the couch, and Nicholas took the spare room down the hall from Y/N’s.

Y/N and I went into her room and she shut the door quietly, turning around, sighing.

“Well,” she blew out a puff of air, giving me a kind smile, “this is interesting.”

I nodded, following her with my eyes as she began getting ready for bed, brushing her H/C hair, and wiping off her makeup for the day. I admired her beauty, staring at her with reverence. She was brilliant.

“I-I can sleep on the floor Y/N. I don’t mind,” I whispered as she slid an oversized t-shirt over her frame, stripping off her work attire.

I licked my lips, swallowing harshly before averting my eyes, reminding myself that now was not the time to get worked up. She had to be at the cafe in a few hours.

Juice purred as he curled into a bed next to her windowsill, eying us from the corner.

Y/N turned off her main light, flicking on a dim lamp that cascaded a soft orange aura across the room before she crawled into bed, opening the covers and patting next to her.

“You can sleep with me, it’s okay.”

I shifted on my feet nervously, tossing my hoodie over my head and placing it neatly over the chair of her vanity, along with my jeans.

Hours ago I was pinning her against the wall, devouring her body in complete confidence. Why was I suddenly so shy? Why did this feel so much more intimate than sex?

Her love is yours But only if you give your heart to her

I walked over to her, sliding myself between her covers as I lay as close to the edge as possible.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” She mumbled, jumping out of bed and leaving to the bathroom, returning shortly with a bottle of pills and a cup of water.

She opened the bottle, turned around and placed one on her tongue before taking a swig of water. I watched as she placed her pills on her desk, before hopping back into bed.

That is why we live like heathens Stealing from the trees of Eden Living in the arms of freedom And everything we touch is evil

She crawled underneath the covers, snuggling into the duvet as she lay on her side, facing me.

We remained silent for a few moments before she asked me a question in a small voice, “Is it ok if the light stays on?”

I preferred the lights off, but I wasn’t going to share my preference; I was already invading her space.

“I have trouble sleeping,” She whispered vulnerably.

“Of course,” I said, pulling the covers over my shoulders.

“Okay,” her eyes fluttered open and closed, fighting against sleep, “goodnight Noah.”

I watched as her lashes touched the tops of her cheeks, her eyebrows releasing tension from the day, lips parted gently as sleep took over.

My eyes danced across her features, completely captivated. Y/N breathed slowly, and my hand subconsciously reached over, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear as I endeared over her.

“you’re my saving grace,” I whispered as I stroked her hair, still completely baffled this was all happening.

I watched her for a moment longer before I turned over, facing the door and her desk. My eyes trailed over to the bottle that rested on her desk, the yellow plastic alluring. Zolpidem. 700 dollars right there.

Destruction. Crime. Greed.

That is why we live like heathens That is why we live like heathens That is why we live like heathens

Chapter four

#burning out fanfic #smut #bad omens #bad omens cult #joakim jolly karlsson #joakim karlsson #metal #noah sebastian x reader #Nick folio #nicholas ruffilo #nick ruffilo #Noah Sebastian #Noah Sebastian smut #bad omens smut #noah sebastian davis #noah sebastian fic