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#Im surprised nobody thought of this ship yet
astra-kamari · 10 days
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Anything Aang or Sokka related!!
I need my fix I just want some Aang or Sokka fluff please and thank you(there is not enough💀)🙏🙏!
So real for that-there really is not enough.
Im going to make this place your home
Summary- After the war you have no where to go so Sokka takes you to the southern water tribe and tries to help you find your nee home
A/n-Was listening to home by philip philips and got inspired, kind of all over the place but here ya go.
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The war was over. That was it-you had won. You still couldn’t believe it, Aang took away Ozai’s bending-Zuko was fire lord, all was right.
Except that it wasn’t. You had no where to go, nobody to go home to. All of your family was dead, and you didn’t have friends outside of the Gaang.
They were all so exited to go home, why wouldnt they be? They had something to go home to. You were happy for them, you really were. It just hurt that they wouldn’t need you anymore. You would all go your separate ways and you’d be alone again.
You were on a balcony at the fire nation palace, full, and with clean cloths for the first time in who knows how long. You looked out at the sky and sighed. It hurt knowing they would all leave, everyone had their own lives.
Aang was the literal avatar, leaving to help where he could.
Suki had gone back to the Kioshi warriors.
Zuko was a very busy fire lord, trying to rebuild in Ozais wake.
Katara and Sokka were going to rebuild the southern water tribe.
Thats what hurt the most, Sokka was going to leave you. You had seen it coming, nothing lasts forever. He had a life to get back to and he would leave you behind. You let a tear fall down your face, looking down at the ground.
“Y/n?” You hear from the room behind you. “Y/n!”
You turn to greet an ecstatic Sokka, quickly wiping away your tears.
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere! We are all going to go-“ he stoped as soon as he saw your face.
“Whats wrong?” He asks calmly grabbing your hand.
“Its nothing don’t worry about it” you say smiling up at him.
“Hey, no. No, dont you do that.”
“Do what” you ask innocently.
“That, pretending your feelings dont’t matter, pushing them aside. I’ll ask again. Whats wrong.”
You just look up at him, you weren’t ready to break, not yet. You rushed forward and hugged him, burying your face into his neck. Tears threatening to fall once more. You two stayed like that for what seemed like forever. You didn’t want to let go, you were scared he was going to leave you for good.
“You know the Gaang is waiting for us?” He says as you look up at him.
“Really? Why?”
“We are all going to take one last ride on Appa, before we separate for a few months.”
“Thats great! Lets go” you say putting your smile back on. At least you could pretend that your world wasn’t crashing down on you.
He pulls you back, “i know that theres something wrong, but we can talk later, when your ready.” He gives you a kiss then pulls you down stairs to the rest of the group.
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This was it, the day you were dreading. Evryone was going to leave today. And you still weren’t sure where you would go. You didn’t want to go back to roaming the earth kingdom, but thats all you’d ever done. Town to town, what else were you supposed to do?
You were standing in the balcony once again, looking at the ships waiting on the beaches to take your friends away. You hear a door behind you. You turn and see Sokka, all his bags packed, either an unreadable expression on his face. You weren’t ready, you had been mentally preparing yourself for this moment, and you still weren’t ready.
“Y/n? Um, we need to talk” he said nervously. “Everyone leaves today, im going back to the south pole…”
“You dont need to say it”
“I dont?” He looks surprised.
“No, ive seen this coming. I knew you would have to break up with me and go back to your tribe.”
Now he just looked confused. “Break up? Wait you want to break up?”
“No! But i thought thats what you were going to do? Dont you have to go back to your people?”
“No! Well yes, but no! Thats not what I was doing.”
“Oh”
“Yeah…”
It was quiet for a minute.
“So” you pushed.
“Right, so um.” He took a deep breath. “You know how you dont have anywhere to go?”
“Yep, thanks for the reminder.”
“Thats nit what i ment- i just. Doyouwanttocometothesouthernwatertribeandstaywithme?” He rushed out in one sentence.
“What?” You laughed.
“Do you want to come and live in the southern water tribe with me?” He looked up nervously at you.
You were shocked. Was this really happening? You didn’t have to be alone! You must have been stuck in your head because he cleared his throat.
“You dont have to of course. I was just thinking-“
“Sokka-“
“That it would be fun and-“
“Sokka”
“And you didnt have anywhere else to go-“
“I-“
“And I’ve already checked with katara and my dad and they’d love to have you-“
Sokka!”
“There and it would be awesome so-“ you kissed him-the only way to get him to shut up.
You pulled back and looked up at him. “I love to”you smiled before pulling him in again.
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After a week or two of sailing, you had finally reached the southern water tribe. To say you were exited would be an understatement, with all of the stories Sokka told you, you couldn’t wait.
Sokka walked up and hugged you from behind. “You exited?”
You turn your head and kiss him on the cheek. “Of course! What are we gonna do first!”
“Well first we need to unpack” he says laughing as you pout.
“Where am i gonna stay?” You asked, you’d thought about it a lot and didn’t want to overthink anymore.
“My hut..if thats alright? Of course we could have another one made for you, if you’d prefer?”
“Your hut sounds perfect.” You smiled, you were happy to finally have a home.
You and Sokka got all unpacked and went out for a walk. The ice was beautiful like you’d never seen.
“I was thinking, maybe we would go see the-.”You looked up to him. “Actually it’s going to be a surprise.”
“Sokkaaaaa.” You whined “you know i hate surprises!”
“This will be a good one i promise.”
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You and Sokka left when it was dark and no one was around. You quietly tip toed out of the village towards huge glaciers.
It had been a while of hiking and you were starting to get tired. “Sokka how much farther?”
“Not far just trust me.”
You hiked in silence until he stopped looking up at the sky. “This should be good enough”
You looked at him puzzled. He laid down and pulled you down with him. You rested your head on his chest, happy with the surprise.
“Look up.” He whispered. You looked up and saw thousands of lights dancing through the sky. So many colors, alls different shapes and sizes. There were colors you had never dreamed of, it was breathtaking.
“Sokka it’s beautiful.” You whispered, captivated by the beauty. You both lay there for a while in a peaceful silence.
Until Sokka sat up, pulling you with him. You were so close your foreheads were touching. “I know you never felt like you’ve had a home.” He says as he gives you a kiss. “But im gonna make this place your home.”
And you never felt alone again.
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aroacenita · 3 years
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Some Piper x Belle (Or Pipelle) (Or Bell peppers) (Or Belladona) QPR headcanons
Belle can be a huuuge flirt when she wants to, wich is kind of what kickstartes their relationships. It went from flirting with a girl cuz she thought she was cute, to "Oh shit I guess we are partners now"
This took a looong while tho. Neither of them were really sure about what their feelings ment. Firstly, Piper had just realized what she had with Rico wasn't an actual thing, and was just figuiring out what that meant for her, and Belle generally had a tough time differentiating platónic feeling from... Well... Non platónic ones
So, it took them a good while to finally start "Dating"
Speaking of wich. At first, Byron wasn't happy at all with the idea. His sister just comes out of nowhere one day, gets into his job, starts berating him (Wich he did start but those are just technicalities) and just starts flirting with his co-worker (WhosealsothepersonheinvoluntaralystartedtoprojectherfigureintocuzpiperwastheclosestthingtoasisterhehadafterBelleescapedbutthatsforanotherday)
But goddamit if he had to spend one more minute watching them akwardly dance around their feeling he was going to explode!
So he indirectly ended up being the one that got them together
Neither of them are very physically affectionate. Belle is more about giving gifts. Shes always giving Piper very expensive (And totally not robbed wdym) jewlery or dresses "To adorn her pretty face, even if it doesn't need any"
(Hey I know it's shitty but idk how to write flirting, im aro ffs >:()
She also constantly compliments Piper, wether it'd be to tell her how beautifull she looks, or how formidable that headshot was, to "Darlin', your patience is admirable. I can barely deal with that nasty snake man for a couple of hours and you do it for a whole day? You are truly amazin'"
Oh, and Belle has tons of pet names for Piper, including, but not limited to:
Darlin'
Sweetiepie
Cupcake
Bun
Buttercup
My princess
Sugar
And many more!
Piper is also more about gifting, but it's usually food or things that she personally makes at home. Even if sometimes she like she's not giving her enough compared to all the stuff Belle gets for her, for the outlaw those cupcakes are more valuable than any gem she could ever find. She has a soft spot for homemade stuff after all (Wonder was caused it...)
Belle actually knows how to play the guitar, and Piper just adores to watch her play. "She has a special look in her eyes when she plays. The same she has when she stars talking about her creations or the places she has traveled to. It's so moving to see her so... Happy"
They also go into small trips in a horse that Belle "Borrows" from time to time. They usually end up being chased by Colt because they "Accidentaly shot someone", but that just makes the journey more exciting
Belle usually lets Piper do her hair and makeup sometimes, even if she doesn't really care about it most of the time
"She just looks so darn adorable when she gets concentrarted.."
But by far their favourite thing to do is bake together. Sure, most of the time they end up making a mess because someone likes to play with the flour, and someone looks absolutely adorable with her whole face covered in it while laughing thounderously. But it's just... One of the few calm moments of the day, where thay can just relax, forget about the world and have fun, even if its just for a couple of minutes
Plus, whenever Belle is kneading something, Piper gets to do the "Gets behind you to 'Help you' while putting my head in your shoulder, and oh no, my hands are touching yours now, and oh no we are holding hands, who would've guessed..."
However, there are only a few people that know about their relationship, as Piper wanted to keep it a secret "But only for a little while".
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bfbkg · 2 years
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okay but can we get bakugo dating reader who's an idol pleaseeeee? love u
LETS GOOOOOOO !!!!!!! i have a whole self ship scenario of bts coming to japan and then bakugou takes me backstage to meet them and they know who he is bc he’s dynamight you know and he says to jungkook "youre her favourite" while im there shaking nervous, gripping bkgs hand (i will literally write this army bomb in hand) ANYWAYS
i’m gonna do this in headcanon bulletpoints ! idol!reader x ph!bkg
starstruck (1.9k)
cw: mention of sleeping together, no details
you guys meet because you’re styled by the same brand! the company had a casual evening dinner thingy with all their clients and you both get seated next to each other. bkg doesn’t usually turn up to these things but he’s always been interested in fashion because of his parents and it’s probably best to have a decent relationship with people that use you as their doll.
you’re an a grade idol. people get starstruck when they meet you but you’re the one who’s starstruck by the man beside you. yes he might be your favourite hero, maybe you do send pictures of him you see on twitter to your friends and maybe you did switch name cards so you were sat next to him tonight. this all doesn’t stop you from being starstruck.
bakugou on the other hand hasn’t even looked in your direction yet. just been scanning over the room and the selection of food on the table. you hear subtle hums of agreement at some plates and some grunts of disapproval at others. with the same frown you see on the few pictures he allows the paps to take, he leans back in his chair with his arms crossed.
you take that as your chance, with your stage, met gala worthy smile, "hi, i dont think we've met before. i'm yn." you even outstretch your hand for a handshake.
the large blonde turns only his head to acknowledge you. firstly his eyebrows rise at your presence like he didnt realise you were beside him. he makes the same hum of agreement he made at the food before him and he smirks a little, his ruby pupils bright with curiosity. for a second you didnt think he was gonna meet your hand making your smile falter just a little.
but he does, in a cuter way than your thought he would. he grabs your hand the same way one would to kiss your knuckles, a firm warm calloused grip on your fingers. and instead of a kiss he gives you his name with a nod, "bakugou katsuki."
you later learn that bakugou gets starstruck by nobody, when you introduce yourself as simply a "singer" instead of using the all encompassing "idol" label. he replies a flirty, "selling yourself short dont ya think?" which makes your eyes widen as you simply thought he didnt know who you were.
"what? surprised i didnt fall to my fuckin knees at the sight of you like the rest of those idiots? bet you're used to that shit." and you know you're supposed to take offence to his biting words but you think you can work around this annoyingly stubborn six foot two hero.
you let out a humourless laugh, eyes shining and head rested in your palm, "watch what you say, dynamight. soon you're gonna be fighting over the rest of those idiots just to speak to me."
he scoffs unfazed but clearly enjoying the push and pull between you both. "every fight im in, i win baby. if it would even be called that."
from that meeting on, you both equally try your best to meet again without telling each other. every time you’re both covered with faux surprise when you greet them at the event. (like you didnt ask a friend or a friend who worked for a friend and dated someone that knew red riot who knew his friend that would tell you whether bakugou would be turning up to this random event.)
through one of your many events together, one ending in you both tipsy enough to know what you were saying but too much for you to control the amount of detail and information you were giving. but it wasn't a problem for you both.
you found out you had quite a lot in common with pro hero dynamight or katsuki what he pushed you to call him. "im not on the clock." "youre a hero, youre always on the clock."
both faced with public opinion from a young age, being praised for your talents since you were born and now faced with a gruelling schedule in your adulthood to keep up with the expectation. and under all the troubles and tribulations of your jobs you both still loved what you did.
you both see each other differently, no masks or public performance. just pure honesty with each other. you like him a little more than before, if that was even possible and you hope he likes you too.
after that day, with both your busy lives you guys are mostly texting buddies. sending dumb photos, mostly selfies from you and updates about your days. the first and only selfie he ever sends you is of him and a billboard of you he saw when he was out on patrol. its a perfume advert, you in a flowy dress on a horse and he has his usual straight face complete in his hero gear. "Didn't think you'd be a horse girl."
the first time you get to meet after your drunken deep talks is when you take it upon yourself to text him in your apartment after one busy day. you’re rbegging his day is nearly up too.
"wanna come to mine?"
he does. all dirty and grubby in his hero gear and when he comes out the shower, you both break. you sleep with him for the first time and the next day he asks to be your boyfriend or at least start dating properly. (i wanna write this idea properly SO NO DETAILS SOZ)
general headcanons would include:
bkg gets paranoid about your security a lot. heard about your crazy stalkers, not from you because you know how he gets, but from somebody and he is watching every move of the security your management hired from you. when they slip up once, you getting mobbed while trying to meet your friends in a resturant, he's convincing you to fire your management and he will build a new security team for you. and he makes a new security branch within his hero agency and even names the company your last name.
everything the public knows about you both is what you decide to show them. nobody knows shit besides what you post and bakugou doesnt post shit anyway. so people eat up the clues you post on instagram and the couple photos that are taken at public events. always matching as youre both under the same designer.
you both are pretty good with long distance. you have tour and he has missions away from home. they usually line up so either way you both wouldnt have been together anyway. andddd you both are rich enough to fly to wherever the other is for the day and fly back the next.
BUT one time you were whining at him through voice messages about how you miss him. photoshoot after photoshoot and then recording for your new album and interviews... you really wanted to come home to him. he can't lie he feels the same too. so he replies with a voice message that sounds like it was taken whilst he was on a high building, very windy in the mic and so very candid. "i miss you too baby. more than fuckin' anythin'." he lets out an deep inhale, and you can imagine him wind through his hair and phone to his mouth, "i know what you're like so don't start takin' it out on everyone, i'll be back soon. put all that energy in your album. love you baby. love you so much."
and you put that voice message at the end of one of your songs. (when bkg hears the final song later, the whole song about you missing your lover whilst he also misses you too, he pulls you in for a side hug and kisses the top of your head. an act to keep you from seeing his face. "you're so... unbelievable. fuckin' set of pipes you've got there." and he avoids talking about the lyrical aspect of the song because it gets him emotional. later when you're brushing your teeth he hugs you from behind and says "i like that i'm in your album too." and walks off.)
he makes as many shows of yours that he can !! always the supportive boyfriend. rarely ever watches you from backstage because you get distracted having to face him between the breaks. so many fan pics of him in the stands, eating and watching you perform, sometimes he brings kiri or mina too. theyd both be singing along while bakugou just grins, a big teethy grin. when youre about to sing a love song you say to the crowd, "this song is for all of lovers tonight. or specifically you, katsuki. love you." the clip goes viral.
you both mention each other in interviews but never refer to each other by name even though everyone knows. "yeah actually my girl sings, pretty BLEEP-in' well. whatever she sings is my favourite song." and then you're like, "last movie i watched was one of the marvel films! my boyfriend hates them though, he works in that sector and he says it's not realistic!!!"
workouts together. your routines are very different and specific, yours including lots of treadmill running and stretching whilst bakugou's on weights and punching bags.
he loves watching you with your earphones doing a full dance routine. kinda just stops what he's doing to watch you. when you finish you give him a proper ending fairy face, out of breath and smiling at him full with endorphins, "what?"
bkg does not give a fuck about the fans that are lost in their parasocial relationship with you. unless they make you uncomfortable, he lets the guys nervously give you a hug and the girls manically repeat how much they love you. he knows it's different from the love he feels for you and he kinda feels proud that you're his. you deserve all the love.
when you're both in public he often gets asked by fans to take a photo of you and them. always does with a huff.
always carries a hat and mask disguise for you in his car.
comes to your fansigns all masked up in disguise, asking you to sign his album. you know it's him immediately and you write a stupid dirty message in his album.
when you're alone in the studio, he always comes in when he can and does work on his laptop. sitting in the producers spinning chair infront of all the toggles and buttons. when he looks up through the glass, youre near tears at the mic with headphones on staring at your ipad with the lyrics you were just singing. he's quick to press on the button on his side to talk to you, his voice rattling through your headphones, "baby? come here now." and you shake your head wiping at your eyes, "no i dont deserve your comfort. why cant i get this fucking note right? if this album i-isnt... good enough-"
and bakugou knows you well. you're feeling overwhelmed with pressure, mixed with your perfectionist side and you're left feeling hopeless. his hand is on the button, lips to his small mic, "baby. baby look at me." and you lift your head up to face him through the window, lips pouted, "you sounded fuckin good. you always do. but do you wanna go home now? you know you're not gonna get shit done when you feel like this." and you give him a tired nod, "now come n' give me a cuddle."
i could probably continue this for AGES AND THIS FEELS SUPER LONG SO MAYBE SOME PROPER FULL FICS LATER !!
it’s not even been twenty four hours and here’s more :)
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adonis-koo · 3 years
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Star Struck
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↳ Summary: You’re a creature of habit, you plan everything from each hour to each day, so you can imagine the chaos which ensues after you discover a random guy leaking black goo in a ditch- who just so happens to be an alien.
↳ Pairing: Jungkook/Reader
↳ Genre: lowkey strangers to lovers, alien!jungkook, fluff, smut, 
Word Count: 13k
Tags: tentacle sex im sorry, foreplay, oral (f) but not?? jungkook is technically a virgin by human standards ayyy, penetration, nipple play, over stimulation, double penetration, squirting, sub!jungkook, breath play, spit kink, jungkook can make his own lube??, anal im so sorry, praise kink, they become soul mates on accident oops,
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You didn’t see nor understand what JK was talking about at first, he just fumbled along between alleyways and roads and nobody, or what little people were on the streets didn’t look at you twice given your friend was as tall and broad as he was. Perks of being with a man you guessed. You still didn’t know what he was actually talking about except for the assumption that he had found his...friends…?
Eventually JK had dragged you through a lot of fields which had made you increasingly anxious, what if a kidnapper was out here? True you wouldn’t mind him using his talon like tentacles then but still...You also didn’t want to go to jail for assisting a homicide...Standing in an empty field, at the dead of night, was not what you intended on doing on a friday night.
JK seemed excited though as he bounced, grabbing a hold of you, he pressed his thumb to your forehead, your eyes fluttering shut on instinct from being so close to him suddenly but your brows pinched and an uncomfortable ache throbbed in your head before he released you. Rubbing your head you whined before you looked up again, only jumping with a screech at the...ship...in front of you...which was NOT there a moment ago. 
“Home!” JK announced proudly as he grabbed your hand, tugging you along against your will, was this really...his ship? Oh god what if he was abducting you...You didn’t have time to think as he ushered you inside. It looked small on the outside admittedly but on the inside it was all glossy and clean, a sleek futuristic look dawning the interior.
Futuristic, he was an alien, you weren’t shocked at the assessment but still. This must’ve been the hanger or...living area… or...hell if you knew ship terms, it looked like the dining room but you didn’t expect two others to appear. All of them speaking in that same throaty tongue as he ran to them, embracing them with pure excitement on his face before he pointed to you, a look of pride on his face as he cleared his voice, “Y/n.” He spoke clearly as if introducing you.
 You gave an awkward stiff wave before immediately dropping your arm, you were going to be extremely pissed if this was the LSD trip you thought you were having yesterday. You watched them all speak to one another before the one on the right nodded, saying something before gesturing JK off, who hurriedly ran off leaving you alone....with two aliens…
They both looked at you expectantly as you looked around, “Hi…” You offered an awkward smile, “You guys are terrifying…” Watching the one on the right grab a watering can to pour over a small...purple colored...tree? “You less so…” You turned to the other one, his eyes dark and piercing and wow…if you thought JK was hot you hadn’t even thought about what it would look like to seem someone attractive from his species, “You the most…” You wrapped your arms around yourself uncomfortably. 
“He’s just assessing you, Taehyung’s like that with anyone associated with our Jungkookie.” You nearly wheezed at the sound of the one on the right speaking full...English…he offered a dimpled smile as if anticipating that reaction, “Apologies. I’m Namjoon, I’m sure you’re extremely confused and scared with everything going on.” 
“...You could say that…” Your twisted somewhat painfully as you nodded rapidly, it was midnight and you were in a fucking spaceship, “Ummm, where did JK go…?” 
Namjoon as he called himself suddenly snorted, shaking his head as he sighed, “Told him he should’ve paid more attention in the academy,” He rolled his eyes, “Jungkook,” He emphasised the name, “That’s his full Earth name. He just forgot it because he never pays attention,” He offered a weak smile, “And he’s in the memoir chamber rememorizing English so he can actually speak to you. It’s handy for us Orionian’s in case a situation like this happens and we don’t know archaic languages like English.”
You didn’t understand a word of what he just said, “I’m sorry...I think I’m too dumb to talk to you, honestly…” You felt extremely stupid but much to your surprise Namjoon laughed in delight, as if endured by your words. 
“You humans are pretty humble huh,” He hummed as he continued watering the rest of his  plants, “Anyways, our ship crashed here on Earth on our way to the andromeda galaxy and Jungkook ended up falling out, it was an...extremely rocky crash…” His smile still weak as if a vague memory entered his mind, “You have our utmost thanks for taking him in when he was injured and housing him.” 
“It’s no problem, I would’ve done it for anyone.” You shifted a little, smiling a tiny bit despite still not feeling as comfortable as you wish you could be, it was just difficult to take in everything that was rapidly changing but your words still stood, you would have. Especially for...Jungkook...you lingered on the same, it sounded more fitting for the tall puppy like boy. 
“So what are your intentions with Jungkook?” You jumped at how deep the second voice was...Taehyung if you remembered correctly and he only looked about as hot as he was intimidating, “Why did you take him in if you knew his identity.” 
You flailed a little, intending to speak yet no words came out...you...you hadn’t really thought about it...at all honestly…”I...I ummm...well…” 
“Are you working for them?” Taehyung stepped towards you, his expression becoming cold as you feebly took a step back looking towards the ground and unsure of how to answer or if you’d even given him a satisfying answer. 
“Stop.” The new voice was raspy and low, not too terribly deep, but just enough to sound charming and rather rugged, Jungkook had appeared again only this time, immediately standing defensively in front of you, “She found me and even after finding out about me being an Orionian she didn’t report me to any Earth officials. I trust her, and you should too.” 
He...he could speak...perfect English now...What!? 
Taehyung’s eyes narrowed onto you, still distrustful but he laid off, “Right...and what is this about you bonding with her? I don’t think she’d be a good vessel.” 
Jungkook’s jaw twitched and you could see the glow of the crescents on his hand burning in red, “Well I’m not asking for your permission to bond with her.” He spat back, his brows furrowed and his lip twitching in anger, suddenly he didn’t look so cute and puppy like anymore, “And it’s not like we’re getting off Earth anytime soon with the ship in this state, so it’s best if we just resume the plan as originally intended.” 
“You think I’d choose a vessel as inferior as humans to have my offspring?” Taehyung’s face curled as if that was the biggest insult he had ever heard and yet you nearly choked at his words, vessel? Offspring? Uh what? 
“Stop fighting,” Namjoon sighed and much to your surprise both of the two boys quieted down, Jungkook still stood in front of you, shuffling a little closer as Namjoon sighed, “Jungkook is right…” He made a noise of victory as Taehyung’s mouth twitched in anger, the marks along his body burning a deep red that was just a little scary to watch from afar, “With the technology at hand here on Earth and with Arbitrators searching for us, it’s in our best interest to make the most of what we have here. Besides, Earth is unsuspecting and was one of our forerunner’s best creations. It’s not too far off irony to let them be the vessel of our offspring.” 
You stared up at Jungkook’s broad back in disbelief...this man was trying to impregnate you after a half a day of knowing you!? You weren’t sure plan B was prepared for this shit. Jungkook looked deeply satisfied at Taehyung’s reaction though before he turned to you, his expression soft and puppy-like as he smiled somewhat timidly before speaking as if he was a little giddy, “Hi…” 
You could’ve said anything in this moment, in which Jungkook looked like he had been excitedly waiting for, and yet your choice of words had been admittedly poor.
“You’re gonna have to bag another bitch, I don’t do kids! I...I did NOT sign up for this!” You immediately backed away from him like he was poison and you didn’t know how these fuckers procreated and at this point you weren’t sure you wanted to learn!
Jungkook’s lips parted and he looked a little hurt before he quickly approached you again, “I don’t expect you to want to carry my children yet….” 
“Yet!?” You shouted out making all three of them flinch a little, “I...I just let you stay at my place because you looked like you were dying in a ditch, and now! I’m in a spaceship, I can’t find the exit and you can suddenly speak English and you’re talking about kids!? This...nu-uh this is going way too fast. I...I really need to get home.” 
Jungkook’s lips trembled a little as he reached out for you, “I’ll take you back! Or-! Or you could stay here until the morning, you shouldn’t be out alone, Earth has proved to be unsafe at night.” He tenderly held your forearms as your expression awkwardly twisted. 
“Nothing worse could happen to me than what happened earlier tonight,” You shook your head rapidly as you sighed, “Just show me the exit, I’ll be fine, really. I’m happy for you! Seriously! I mean it looks like you’re reunited with your kin so there’s no reason for us to stay in contact and it’s been fun and out of this world- literally.” You laughed a little as you rambled, all three staring at you wide eyed, “But like, seriously I’ll keep this to myself and just hope it’s a really shitty drug trip like I originally thought it was…”
Jungkook sighed, lowering his head in defeat and his lips trembled a little in that sulky way it had been this morning as he went to the hatch where you both had come in, dialing a few buttons he waited a moment as he mumbled, “I just want to explain everything to you, I owe you that, at least…” 
You said nothing waiting for the door to open as he dialed a few other buttons, and a few more, and again...and again…”Um,” He cleared his throat a little, “Namjoon…? The door?” He asked, his eyes doe like as he stared at his companion who sighed, squeezing between you both as he also dialed a few numbers into the glowing pad. 
They both waited before Namjoon’s lips twisted into a sigh as if somehow expecting this to happen before he spoke, “Doors’ jammed...again…”
“This is fucking perfect.” Taehyung swore with a sigh, gritting his teeth as his eyes glared into you briefly, causing you to sheepishly back a little towards Jungkook, “I’m going back to my pod, I can’t deal with this.” He brooded before leaving as you looked between both aliens. 
“...Jammed? The door? As in…?” 
Jungkook’s lips twisted into a nervous smile, his marks glowing a light purple as he coughed, “Looks like we’ll have plenty of time to talk now…” Fuck! Why did things have to be this complicated, it could have been worse, but it was the same annoyance you had when Youtube played an unskippable ad, or when the lead in your pencil broke, a cookie falling onto the floor, that type of inconvenience.
Unshockingly Jungkook didn’t hold the same feeling as he spoke gently, “I can show you to my pod, it’ll be awhile before the door gets fixed…” He gave you an endearing apologetic smile. 
“...As long as you aren’t gonna try to knock me up then sure.” You stared at him in disdain, making him weakly smile as he stepped back up the metal stairs and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve assumed he was actually happy you were stuck with no other choice but to stay. 
“Once you see her to your pod, a word please Jungkook...” Namjoon’s gaze was fixed on the door quizzically as if already trying to deduce what had made it jammed, he made no effort to look back at you both but you could tell it was probably important. 
Jungkook only nodded eagerly and kept your hand in his as he lead you down the small the hallway, lights flickering and while you were anything but an engineer or mechanic, it wasn’t hard to tell they had crash landed, Jungkook ignored the mess against the walls as he typed in something before a door slid open revealing what you assumed was his room, the door slid shut behind you making you jump a little as you investigated the space. It was a minimalistic room, a few trinkets laid around and a messy bed was against the wall.
“You can sleep if you want...I know you were tired when I woke you up…” Jungkook’s marks glowed a soft pink as he bashfully looked at the ground, scratching his cheek as if he didn’t know what to say, “I um...I should go speak to my brother.” 
Before you could even say anything Jungkook had already left looking somewhat sheepish, leaving you to curiously look around the room, it was spacious and in tones of deep brown and black, a few gadgets laying around on his nightstand as you tilted your head. 
His pod...so basically...a bedroom. You assumed as much as you couldn’t really make a distinct difference between the two. True you could’ve slept like he had suggested, you were exhausted but too wired to even think about sleeping at the moment due to how bizarre of circumstances you were in. You were in an alien’s bedroom, on a space ship...
You had took your time browsing around the room, curiously holding a few trinkets in an attempt to figure out what they were, time passed slowly and for a while, you began to wonder if this was just a set up for them to butt probe you like Jimin had original thought they would. Not that you would mind as much as him but- besides the point, the longer you were left with your thoughts, the more that piled up.
When the door abruptly opened you nearly jumped out of your skin, hurriedly setting down what looked like a portable flame thrower before whirling around, Jungkook looked a little timid as he smiled, “I’m sorry that took so long...Um...” He closed the door gently before he gestured, “Please, go ahead and rest, from my understanding...um...humans have a standard sleep cycle yes?” 
You didn’t fully understand what he was asking besides if you slept at night, rubbing your neck you did as he gestured, taking a seat on the bed before you jumped a little as it did not feel like a normal bed, “Uh I guess...? Why...why didn’t you just leave? You...didn’t have to wake me.” You mumbled, scooping your feet up as you laid down, shifting a little as you tried to get comfortable.
The bed felt almost like a marshmallow, something in between water and memory foam as the bed moved in slow, lapping waves as you attempted to get comfortable again with a pout tugging on your lips. 
Jungkook watched you with endearment before he laid on the bed next to you, “You have to stop moving, coranium matches the pattern of your body to keep everything aligned and slowly adjusts to the movement of your body throughout your sleep duration.” 
You rolled onto your side to look at him as you curled up a little, his marks still a light pink and his smile a little shy as he spoke, “To answer your question I mean...I feel like it should be obvious, I want to make my bond with you so it was natural I wanted to take you with me. I don’t know Earth well enough to confidently navigate it on my own without getting lost. I couldn’t risk leaving you and then being unable to find my way back. As well as I knew I’d be able to learn English fast in the memoir chamber, so then we’d be able to talk…” he smiled a bit timidly, his eyes fondly washing over your face as you awkwardly scooted a little away from him. 
His eyes downcasting a little at the gesture as he frowned, and once again, even despite speaking english now it didn’t help his case in looking like a kicked puppy, “Well...am I supposed to know what a memoir chamber is? And….bonding and...literally everything you guys have said thus far?” 
Jungkook rested his chin on his hands as he hummed, thinking about your words carefully before he spoke, “The memoir chamber is in most Orionian ships, it helps us adapt to the planet around us and depending on what region we’re in, the language. Our kind carry human DNA- or...moreso the other way around, so inherently we know all Earth languages as they descended from Orionian dialect, but…” He scratched his cheek, marks glowing pink once more, “I had a difficult time studying earth languages in the academy. It’s unrealistic for us to know them all, so the Memoir serves as a rebrief to put in the language back into our minds.” 
God what were you in now? A shitty sy-fy film? You rolled onto your back as you said no more, thinking about his answer for a good long minute before you parted your lips only to shut them...Hold on one damn minute- did he just insinuate his kind created humans? Knowing all languages? What!? “I don’t even know how to unpack that sentence…” You muttered, staring up at the ceiling which twinkled in a galaxy of constellations and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve assumed it was an open glass ceiling to outer space.
It aligned with nebula’s and stars, planets for what looked like miles and miles. You could stare at it for hours in awe, how did you not notice that until now.
“I could only imagine being human, it’s a lot to take in,” Jungkook offered a gentle smile, “As for bonding…” He was pink all over as he scratched his cheek again, eyes fluttering away from yours almost shyly, “It’s what it sounds like, when we Orionian’s find a person who we like and want to share our life with, we begin a bond, and it takes awhile for the bond to grow but once it’s finished, we’d complete it with a mating cycle, and then...We’re celestially bond together.” He mumbled a little shyly, his eyes looked like stars twinkling as he talked about it, almost in a dreamy fashion. 
“....” You couldn’t even find the words to say anything before you muttered, “You’ve known me for a day…” True Jungkook was cute, but all of this stuff about bonding and space really made it difficult to grasp the concept in a way which wasn’t him basically proposing to you.
Jungkook looked as if he had been abruptly pulled from his little fantasy world as he frowned, propping himself on his forearm as he spoke, “Time is only a concept for Orionian’s, when we know who our bond is meant for, we just know. It doesn’t matter if I’ve known you a day or your whole life, my feelings won’t change. I want us to bond.” His voice lowered a little, his eyes doe-like and filled with a sugary sweetness as he closed the gap between you both. 
You were speechless. Many times in your life you had felt this way, but genuinely, you had no words. An alien just professed his love to you within twenty four hours of knowing him all because...what…? You fed him twice? Let him sleep in your bed once? What had you possibly done for him to think you could be his...his wife!? 
“I’m not getting married, I- I mean I’m flattered! I am.” You sat up, once again, pulling away from him as he mirrored you, his lips jutting into an almost frustrated pout, “But like...I just turned twenty one this year....I’m hardly a person let alone wife material.”
“Bonding is hardly even close to the equivalent of human marriage,” Jungkook wrinkled his nose, almost a little endeared, he knew little of human marriage from the media he had watched when you weren’t present, and while humans had similar ideas of romance, it was hardly comparable, he spoke gently, “It’s far more special and permanent. Being bonded is…” He closed his eyes, a half dimpled smile on his lips as he hummed, “It’s like feeling like the universe has completely aligned on your behalf, and that the planets and stardust gifted you a celestial mate who would never turn their back on you, who would always dry your tears and heal you when you’re hurt. The bond extends past this lifetime and into the next and so forth.” 
“...You lost me at ‘more’ permanent…” For a woman with a whole baggage load of commitment issues Jungkook was really not selling this idea to you well, “Sorry but I think you got the wrong girl.” You could appreciate the bizarreness of this situation and admittedly you felt like you’d always have a superior ‘main character’ moment story to one up somebody with but this whole business about being stuck with someone for multiple lifetimes and having alien babies was really not something you could follow up with.
Jungkook looked severely hurt which made you do a double take, not quite anticipating such a pitiful reaction as his lips quivering and his eyes even looking somewhat glassy as he spoke, “O-oh...I see…” 
wow way to make you feel like an asshole. He had shuffled a little curling up against himself as if trying to make himself appear small as he looked away from you. Sighing you ran a hand through your hair, well fuck, what did you have to lose at this point in your life?
“...Jesus christ, okay...what...what does...you know…” you coughed a little, rubbing your neck as Jungkook’s doe eyes looked at you timidly before darting away when you met his gaze, “What does this bonding shit entail anyway?” 
Jungkook was incredibly attractive, there was no denying it and the worst that could happen would be things didn’t work and you just went back to normal non-tentacle men. Jungkook perked a little at your question, still seeming a bit reserved as he mumbled, “Well...bonding is a long process...it’s not something out of human fiction that just immediately happens. When a bond is first created it’s incredibly delicate, you have to be careful and make sure both partners dedicate time to strengthening the bond.”
Laying your head against your arms that were folded in front of you while listening intently you hummed, “And let’s say hypothetically, could the bond be broken?” 
Jungkook’s expression crumpled a little as he mumbled, “It can be severed, but the more strengthened the bond is, the more painful it’ll be for both partners. But yes, it is possible. I should also mention a bond is only possible unless both partners are in agreement and want it just as much as the other.” 
You hummed, thinking about his words, so technically it wasn’t really possible given both of you had different alignments right now, “Alright well, here on Earth we call it dating, which is a lot less intensive than that, so if you want me to do that then you’re gonna have to go by human standards first.” It was reasonable enough and a happy compromise.
You wouldn’t deny you felt a pull towards Jungkook, ever since he had arrived yesterday morning your life had been anything but normal and yet you embraced every twist and turn so far and...there was admittedly a secret giddy part of you that revelled in old childhood nostalgia that someone had actually fallen from the sky and would now show you a world of many possibilities outside of earth. 
The only thing holding you back was the logic and reason that your family held and pushed onto you at a young age, long gone were the days of staring up at the stars in hopes of seeing something supernatural and daydreaming during recess about being whisked off earth. You didn’t know how to connect with that childlike side of yourself anymore, it had been so long since you bothered with those thoughts that now that the opportunity was presented to you, you genuinely didn’t know how to react.
Jungkook had immediately perked up his brows raised and immediate interest in his expression, “I’ll do it! If it means winning your affection,” his smile was a little toothy and innocent as he spoke, “How do humans date? What do they do?” He tilted his head in curiosity while waiting excitedly for your reply.
You couldn’t help but smile a little at how enthusiastic he was, “Well…” you drew a breath in thought, “It’s not too different then it is from now, we’ll go out to eat together, get to know each other, stuff like that.” 
Jungkook deflated a little, confusion in his eyes as he frowned, “But that’s stuff we do now...as...friends…” his frown furthered on his lips, “What sets friends and dating apart if we do the same thing…?” 
You rubbed your neck, beginning to get a little flustered at his question as you shifted a little, mumbling, “Well the difference is friends are strictly platonic, dating someone means you’re interested in them romantically and...you know...we hold hands...or cuddle or...I don’t know romantic shit…Stuff friends don’t do.” 
When did Jungkook get closer to you? His head tilted in curiosity as he spoke, “...And? Is that it? I’m sorry,” he apologized a bit bashfully, looking rather pink, “I’m trying to discern possible differences in boundaries set between a regular human relationship compared to Orionian’s…I don’t want to do anything that might make you...uncomfortable…” 
You stared at him for a good moment, as if trying to discern whatever he was trying to say without actually saying it, “Well...I’m not sure how different it can be…” Jungkook said nothing, fidgeting a little as you looked at him for a long moment, “...I’d tell you if you made me uncomfortable.” Was this...going where you thought it was going? 
Jungkook shuffled a little closer, his nose nearly brushing yours and his lips that looked so soft jutted into a slight pout, his eyes could hardly meet yours as he timidly asked, “...How...intimate are humans in their relationships?” 
Your face felt like it was on fire though as you muttered with raised brows, “Uh pretty hands on...if you wanna fuck me you can just ask.” You looked up at him, feeling a bit bold given he was a little more on the shy side, you could tell just him asking that had obviously taken a lot of courage on his part.
Jungkook’s marks had suddenly filtered from baby pink to a deep maroon, his face looked nothing except shy and a bit hazy as he mumbled, “Would you let me…? I don’t...exactly share the same anatomy as your male counterpart...Orionian’s...intimacy looks a bit different.” 
You felt intrigued and horny at the same time, it was tentacles wasn’t it? Please god let it be the tentacles, “You can’t threaten me with a good time,” you laughed a little, trying to take a little bit of the nervous edge off Jungkook as you offered a small smile, “Just show me, I’m...what other humans would consider pretty kinky. Doubt it’ll scare me off.” You couldn’t admit that his tentacles were immediately making your panties soaked because god did you want to be filled up like a scared hentai girl right now.
You squeaked at Jungkook suddenly climbing on top of you, his eyes hazy and he pulled the sweatshirt over his head, revealing the strip of glowing maroon that led up the center of his arms and wrapped over his shoulders, his tentacles suddenly emerging from his back much to your horny excitement, “Our tendons are both are strongest and weakest point of our body.” Jungkook mumbled against your neck, the feeling of something extremely foreign wrapping around your thigh, almost something between like a soft silicon and jello substance. 
Not sticky like you had anticipated, but soft enough that it could be almost considered wet, “They protect us but they’re also what we use to procreate with, if they’re cut off or majorly damaged, we become sterilized. My eggs…” He suddenly became a bit timid as he mumbled, “They aren’t fertile yet...But regardless I wouldn’t fill you unless we were bonded, so you won’t have to worry about impregnation. Intimacy is still an act of strengthening a bond though, so it’s utilized a lot at the beginning of an Orionian relationship.”
You weren’t fully paying attention at this point, too busy nearly drooling at the feeling of his tendon slithering along your clothes, “I can understand if you’d prefer to not do this though.” Jungkook seemed somewhat embarrassed and timid, his tendons slithering around your pajama band but doing nothing further.
“No!” He nearly jumped  at how you almost yelled it, your eyes frantic and you were nearly dripping at how horny you were, your voice needy as you whined, “I’m literally a slut Jungkook, I’m more than happy to experiment.” 
Jungkook didn’t need anymore confirmation then just that, his tentacle that had been playing with the band of your pajamas immediately pushing underneath it as you whined, your legs immediately parting for it as it ran up your panties, the soft wetness that ebbed from it soaking whatever was dry of your panties, was this arousal of his own? He moaned softly as he pressed his face into your neck, “I know you feel this is fast, but Orionian’s tend to not like to waste time.” His tentacles slid along your panties before pushing inside the band.
Your lips parted at the soft wet sensation of it gently prodding along your clit in exploration making a yelp escape you.
Jungkook jolted a little in concern as he looked down at you, somewhat shyly and his cheeks were a deep maroon much like his marks, “Keep…! Fuck!” You whined at the way his tentacles as if testingly flicked along your clit, another tentacle which had been floating behind him absently had suddenly emerged forward, making quick work of your pajamas and panties as the other continued working along your clit making you whimper as your back arched a little. 
The second tendon slowly brushed along your soaked cunt, embarrassingly wet sounds could be heard throughout the room as Jungkook moaned in contentment, “This feels so nice,” he mumbled with a whine, the second tentacle which had been stroking you slowly wiggled against your entrance making you squeak. Your horniness couldn’t be put into words at how bad you wanted this man to shove all tentacles inside you.
Your lips immediately parting at the tip of the tentacle pushing inside you, it was too soft to be considered that of a toy or dildo but too firm to be anything foreign, you couldn’t resist propping yourself up onto your elbows, your legs spread as you looked down, your face twisting and cheeks throbbing at the lewd sight of two tentacles hard at work on your cunt, one continuously flicking your clit and rubbing along it while the other began to testingly thrust inside you. 
Your lips dropped open as you moaned feeling Jungkook push it further and further inside you before giving it a testing wiggle, a scream nearly ripped from your throat at how it hit all the right spots.
Unable to even support yourself as you dropped back down with a whine as Jungkook quickly began to pick up the pace even more, “Fuck,” he moaned softly, the tentacle pulsed and throbbed as it squished and wiggled while being thrusted back and forth in short motions, your cunt was so tight and your walls kept trapping him further and further inside you as you whined, “Mm, females of my kind don’t have anything like this,” he moaned two more tentacles had suddenly appeared from his back, one pinning your wrists above your head and the other wandering to your flimsy shirt before pushing underneath it, and much to his delight Jungkook found nothing underneath except your soft breasts, “Nothing this- mmm, fuck,” it came out more of a whine this time as you felt his tentacles wiggling in delight at the way your cunt clenched around him, “small, and warm...Fuck,” Jungkook dipped his head, running a hand through his hair, the third tendon wrapped around your nipple making you whimper, jolting as your cunt squeezed around the tentacle that was beginning to roughly split apart your walls as it discovered your g-spot, your mouth parting as whined spilled from your lips at the insane feeling of the tip of his tentacles flicking up against it rapidly.
“Ah! Fuck fuck fuck, Jungkook!” You whined as your back arched, your eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head at how many sensations were going on, between him finding the sweet spot of your clit, the tip of his tentacle flicking up into your g-spot the other one squeezing with just the right amount of pressure on your nipple. 
Jungkook’s lips parted and his eyes were hazy but in awe at the way your body contorted, your small little walls nearly entrapping his tentacle as you came harshly, whined and whimpers escaping you as he forcefully kept flicking up into your g-spot, his other rubbing gently against your clit as your body frantically moved, yet your hips kept thrusting up to try and take more of his tendon as you whined, “Fuck…! Jungkook! Ah..!” Jungkook moaned softly as he gave you just what you wanted, pushing himself further inside you until he was dangerously close to your cervix.
His tentacle was soft enough that no pain was even involved as he kept wiggling it into you, soundless moans escaped you as your cunt began wrapping convulsing around him, your clit burning in pleasure due to sensitivity as he kept letting the soft tendon rub against the tender bud.
“Fuck!” You whined, liquid suddenly spewing from your cunt much to Jungkook’s surprise, his tentacle had immediately restricted at the feeling leaving your cunt feeling empty and tears nearly escaping yours eyes in frustration due to it despite his second tendon continually abusing your clits sweet spot, within the second the first tentacle entered your once more pushing with no hesitation right back to its original position as Jungkook began wiggling once again with short thrusts. 
Your walls kept squeezing around him causing him to moan as he whined, “You- you need to stop doing that...feels too good.” He mumbled shyly against your skin as you nearly convulsed in pleasure at the way his third tendon was wrapped around your nipple, giving the bit of pressure that had your cunt squeezing around his tentacle, too busy in your own pleasure to care about what he wanted, your hand wrapped around his throat making his eyes widen and his lips part submissively, “I’m gonna keep doing what I want baby- fuck...I think you like it when my little cunt squeezes around it.” You purposely clenched around his tentacle and you could physically feel it throb inside you.
Jungkook’s lips trembled a little a moan escaped him at your hand squeezing lightly around his throat his tentacle immediately fucking you even faster in comply as your lips parted in glee, your hips rolling a little to slide along the slick thick tendon, “Thats right baby boy, I bet you’ve never felt a cunt like this before huh?” You let out a shaky cackle as your hand sadistically squeezed harder around his neck. 
His gaze dropped and he only whined, quickly crumbling to your dominant hands that only excited you further, it was one thing to cross off your bucket list getting fucked by an alien, it was two being able to dom one, “Oh am I suddenly in control now?” You mockingly pouted before a twisted smirk curled on your face at how Jungkook wouldn’t meet your eyes any longer.
Power was practically leaking in your veins, you were getting fucked by a tentacle alien and he was a shy little sub? Your squeezed harsher around his neck, a whiney moan suddenly escaping him as his tentacle harshly pulsed inside you before it frozen, his face buried into your neck, impatient and now knowing you could boss him around freely your hips lifted, squelching and slipping around the tendon with ease as his lips trembled against your neck, “Mmm! P-please! You have to slow down…” he whimpered a little at how cruel you were being with him. 
You could care less in this moment though, too busy living out your dream fantasy bucking your hips against the soft subtle material, your cunt squeezing around him as you moaned softly.
Your moan twisted to a growl at the feeling of his tentacle pausing in your clit, your hand finding his hair as you harshly balled it into your hand, “I didn’t give you permission to stop.” Jungkook’s gaze lowered and his eyes a little watery despite the angry pout on his face.
“You aren’t listening to me.” He mumbled stubbornly and your lips twitched, outwardly showing displeasure but inwardly seeking the chase he was trying to give. Jungkook fumbled with you had pushed away, briefly his tendons pulled away in semi surprise, at first assuming you had taken his shy words the wrong way but he was quickly mistaken when he was shoved onto the bed, a whine escaping him as the tentacles quickly adjusted to be semi flattened. His lips were quivering at the sight of your naked body straddling him and your hand on his jaw, “Truthfully, I don’t think you want me to listen baby.” You pouted mockingly, the feeling of his stretched tentacles seekingly wrapping around your thighs, “Open.” 
Jungkook’s lips parted a little, his eyes watering and looking a little confused at your words, but you had took advantage of the opportunity, spitting into his mouth as he suddenly whined, his ears bright red following along with the magenta color coursing through his body as your hand wrapped around his throat in a firm grip, “Good boy.” You smiled loosely, wiping a stray bit of saliva from his lip as he whined, a tentacle beginning to stroke against your soaked cunt once more but this time he did nothing except in hopes of an invitation.
“Such a good boy, go on, I know you want to.” You cooed out, your head hanging a little and your lips parting at the feeling of the tentacle plunging back inside your warm walls with a loud squelch, “Stay still.” You commanded sharply and with a noisy whine from Jungkook as he obediently listened, you could feel the foreign tendon inside you pulsing still as if it nearly killed him to do so. Your hips steadily began to move along the tentacle, your cunt clenching around it as you took more of him it only got fatter and thicker the more you took. 
“Ahh, fuck. That’s it baby, c’mon keep filling me up. I know you want to. I can see it in your face.” You taunted, feeling his tentacle doing a test wiggle inside you as you slid along it, arousal coating him as he whined, you had a great view of his other tentacles sliding from under his back and extending upward, the second quickly made way for your clit much to your excitement, your lips parted and a whine escaping you as it kept rubbing into your sweet spot it had previously discovered. 
You were too busy trembling and moaning, attempting to fight off another orgasm at the feeling of your clit almost feeling like it was being ate out at how soft the tip of his tentacle was gently lapping against it and a soft wet arousal of his own leaking from the tip, you had bounced against his tendon in short motions, craving all of him inside you as your body began to convulse, your hands balling against his chest with a whine at how difficult it was to stop yourself from cumming immediately.
Jungkook wasn’t letting go without a fight though, a third tentacle had surprised you, pushing between the cheeks of your ass making you nearly gasp a whine, “Fuck! Fuck, please.” You mumbled in a moment of weakness, giving your consent that you’d like to trust he’d be able to make this feel good. Jungkook didn’t hesitate for a second, the tentacle oozed a slippery liquid, his own arousal along your puckered rim. You were almost too fucked out to even pay attention, your body busy still riding him and trying to focus on anything but the feeling of the slippery tentacle flicking at your clit and finding nearly every pleasurable nerve physically possible. 
It was difficult to miss the third one pushing slowly into your ass as your lips jumbled something nearly incomprehensible, your body collapsing semi against him, only being held up by your weak forearms, “Mmph! Fuck baby keep going, just like that. Such a good boy for me.” 
Jungkook squeaked out what sounded like a pleasant noise at the praise, perhaps sensing your body beginning to crumble as his tentacles took back over, quickly thrusting inside you once more and wiggling to his heart's pleasure as drool nearly dropped from your lips. Unable to even do anything or say anything with two tentacles plunged inside you. 
The tip of the tentacle was just narrow enough to slip inside your ass with a gentle sting but pleasurable enough to make your toes curl and whines escape you at the feeling of the force of his thrusts on either side of your body. His second was still lapping up around your clit, finding that perfect spot that nearly made your vision go white and you weren’t sure what escaped your throat other than possibly the best orgasm you would ever experience in your life. 
And it didn’t stop after a second, it just kept going with his tentacles drilling inside you and lapping around your delicate hyper sensitive clit as you whined and cried against him. Jungkook moaned softly as you felt what potentially might have been a second tentacle greedily pushing inside your cunt, whimpers escaping you at how harshly he was thrusting up inside you and how stretched your body was. 
Your mouth parting at the feeling of the forth tentacle pushing its way to meet the first as you squeaked and whined against him, a tentacle wrapping around your waist to hold up your lower body that nearly collapsed as your vision blurred with tears at how hard you were being fucked. Jungkook’s eyes were shut tightly and his hands had finally grabbed your waist as extra support as his third tentacle wiggled its way further into your ass. The pleasurable sting becoming more and more noticeable as you cried out at the feeling of one tentacle flicking up against your g-spot and the other harshly thrusting into you while your clit was hypersensitive at the feeling of being rubbed and flicked. 
Your last orgasm couldn’t even compete with this one as you cried out, body convulsing and cunt tightening as you nearly scrambled almost looking possessed to the unknown eye, your body had clenched up so hard at being so filled you hadn’t even heard the sharp whine from Jungkook. Hot liquid suddenly spurted everywhere the majority of it inside you but some getting on you, over the bed, everywhere. 
Jungkook whimpered and whined, digging his face into your neck and his tentacles were pulsing sharply as if literally pumping out every drop of liquid they could inside you. You were so fucked out you could hardly even ask what in the actual hell he just injected inside you. You had already been tired before but your body was burning and aching, feeling as if you had literally been ripped to pieces. 
At least you finally got a piece of that tentacle action.
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You were not someone that fucked and then immediately slept afterwards, typically after a one night stand, depending on your relation with the person you would either ghost them by pretending to go to the bathroom, talk and hang out afterwards, or go get something to eat together, or by yourself, you weren’t picky.
Rubbing your blurry eyes you yawned, your body aching with even the slightest movement, Jungkook was the first man who had ever fucked you so hard, you had little to no choice but to fall asleep afterwards, you probably couldn’t even stand if you wanted too. He was curled up against your chest at the moment, his head pressed into your breasts looking way too content at the moment. 
Your eyes trailed down at his fluffy raven hair before down the warm tawny skin of his back, something in your chest stirring, it felt like it was almost physically tugging you closer to his body, your hand finding its way to his hair making him stir a little. Jungkook’s arms wiggled against your waist to make himself comfortable once more before relaxed with a content sigh. 
The marks on his back glowed a sentient purple, you had never gotten a good look at his back before. 
And while this wasn’t that great of a position to view, you were still curious with what you could see, they formed two long strips down his back widening a fair bit and they stopped just at the smallest part of his waist. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve remarked that it looked like he had wings ripped from his back.
As morbid as it sounded, and that is of course if they glowed like this. Jungkook really was the prettiest thing you had ever seen, your hand hadn’t even meant to pull from his hair down his neck, you couldn’t help the tug in your chest wanting to touch.
However the moment your fingers grazed over the mark that covered his left shoulder blade Jungkook nearly flew out of your arms making you jolt in just as much surprise as him, his lips parted and he had sat up, gaze sharp as he looked around as if for any possible intruders. Slowly as he woke up though he came to the realization it was just you and him, your smile becoming somewhat sheepish as you mumbled, “Um, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” You cleared your throat feeling bad now, was it just that sensitive? You might not know much about Orionian’s but you could take a guess and assume that was the opening to where his tentacles laid dormant, and given they were also how they procreated...It was natural Jungkook was probably a little defensive about them being touched. 
Jungkook said nothing though, only staring at you for a long moment before he whined a little, suddenly crawling back up to you before collapsing on top of you as you huffed, “You can’t startle me like that, my scaling is sensitive.” He mumbled a little shy, grabbing your hand as he placed it back on top of his head obviously wanting affection. 
Your fingers dug back into his scalp making a pleasant noise escape him as his body relaxed once more, “...Scaling?” Your brows furrowed at his words, complying with his silent demand to have his hair played with as he curled up against you, his lips tugged into a smile as he rested his face between your breast. 
“Yeah, my scales.” Jungkook nodded as he held up his arm, pointing at the glowing marks making you frown, that...looked nothing like scales....Jungkook smiled a little as he rested back down while explaining, “There filled with hyper plasma so depending on the hormonal chemistry of my body will change colors.” You got that part, even before he could speak English, but still...when you thought of scales, you thought of stuff like fish and...scaly things. Not aliens. 
Jungkook only smiled happily as he looked up at you, it looked like thousands of stars twinkling in his eyes and the dim lights reflected off his iridescent skin, little tones of purple and blue could be spotted as he lifted his hand up to cup your cheek, his fingers carefully trailing down your jawline. There was a wave in your chest, something strong like...the only thing you could describe was pure happiness, “Hey what did you blow inside?” You hadn’t even meant to ask that question but it had abruptly crossed your mind. 
Jungkook’s gaze faltered a little, his scales suddenly turning bright pink and his bashfully lowered his gaze, pressing his cheek on your chest as he mumbled, “It was just plasma, it’s what helps carry eggs when they’re released but...I already told you...my eggs aren’t ready yet. You have no possible chance of getting pregnant without my prior knowledge.” 
His fingers tethered against your stomach as if saddened at the idea that his future kin weren’t in your stomach, a wave of sadness fleeting inside your chest briefly as you frowned, why did you feel so odd? You weren’t even the least bit sad about not being pregnant. 
“Okay...good I was just..wondering since…” You coughed a little, not finishing your sentence which you were originally going to say because he used you like an actual cum dump- not that you minded. But still. It was good to know. Jungkook said no more, only burying into your chest with a pouty whine. 
Yawning you stretched out looking around before grabbing your phone which had somehow made it alive on your night stand, your notifications flooded with Jimin’s drunk texting on where you went last night and why you weren’t home...Wait, your eyes darted to the time, it was noon?! You had a lecture in half an hour! 
“Fuck! I have to get to class!” You immediately jolted up making Jungkook whine as he was jostled onto the bed as you limped along in search of your clothes, your body aching and resisting with each fumble before you nearly collapsed out of fatigue while grabbing your panties. 
“Can’t you just stay? Just for a little longer?” Jungkook mumbled, his lips in a large puppy like pout as he held out his hand to you, something stirring in your chest that wanted to just curl back up against him, his eyes doe like and soft, almost pleading for you to cuddle back up against him. 
“I have midterms coming up Jungkook, I really can’t afford to skip class.” You offered an apologetic smile, “Besides it’s not like we can’t go get something to eat later or anything.” Pulling your pants up you wobbled to the door, frowning as you pulled your sweatshirt back over your head, where was the door handle…?
“..B-but!” Jungkook fumbled as he pulled his shirt over his head before hurrying over to you, “Just five more minutes? Or two? Please…!” There was something urgent in his voice as his lips trembled as if he would be devastated if you left. 
Examining the door your lips parted as you pushed the button on the wall, jolting a little as the door slid open, “Jungkook,” You paused briefly, feeling a dull ache in your chest, a brief desire to do as pleaded as you looked up at him, “I really have to go to class okay? I’ll drop by later when I’m finished for the day I’m sure you...have stuff you need to talk about with your...um...kin…” You raised your brow a little awkwardly before you back walking down the hallway, something inside the back of your head almost tempted to stay with him. 
He looked so panicked and whiny, it made you feel bad for having to go, and furthermore you secretly wished you could stay longer but you couldn’t afford to miss class with midterms so close. 
If your memory was correct this should lead to…! Aha, you felt victorious at the sight of the main, living area?  The circular table was towards the smaller three step ledge that went up into the control room and the purple bonsai-like plant which had just been freshly pruned sat delicately on the other side of the room. 
“No! I....Can I come with you then? And then we can come back here together later?” Jungkook pleaded, his lips trembling and his eyes almost watery as you paused with a sigh, he was really tugging on your heart strings huh...It was almost easier to deny him back when he was unable to actually speak his wants to you. 
“Jungkook I- I mean I guess you could…? But like, it’s just lecture, it’s boring, I have to be focused the whole time and no offense but...I feel like if you came I wouldn’t focus.” You pulled a little away from him with an awkward smile while silently hoping the door had been fixed. 
“Morning you two,” You turned around at the sight of Namjoon appearing from the large opening of the control room Taehyung who still looked sour following after him only to lean against the wall with crossed arms, Namjoon stepped down the three steps as he offered a polite smile, “I hope you slept well, I’m sure it’s a lot different compared to human dorms.” 
You looked away from Namjoon unable to speak at the question of having slept well, you hardly slept half the night after getting your back blown out, but he was right, it was nothing like human- in any aspect whatsoever, whether it was the bed or who you got fucked by last night. 
“It was fine...um the door....Is it fixed?” You pointed your thumb behind your shoulder as you offered a weak smile. 
Namjoon nodded stepping closer before he abruptly paused, his brows furrowing before he looked between you and Jungkook without so much as a word, it made you somewhat self conscious as you shuffled in your spot at nobody volunteering to get the door open, “Yeah, it’s fixed, umm…” His smile was a little tense before he looked between you and Jungkook, “Are you both going out? Already?” 
Jungkook refused to look his elder in the eyes, his lips plush and pouty, hair dusting over his eyes as he shuffled in his spot refusing to answer whatever unasked question his elder had, “Uh yeah, I’m going to class, Jungkook can stay here though, I’ll be back later.” You shrugged, not understanding what their problem was. 
Taehyung had not interjected into the conversation yet, his dark hair brushing over his eyes only in the opposite effect of Jungkook, making him look as if he had a death warrant with your name on it, “And leave Jungkook alone?” He gritted his teeth looking like he was ready to snarl at you, your lips quirked a little and your brow lifted in confusion, wasn’t that typically what people meant when they said they had to leave…? 
“Uh yeah, and I’ll come back…?” You trailed off, making it sound more like a question then a statement before Taehyung suddenly pushed off the wall, his walk was by no means in any hurry, but his shoulders were squared and his steps were paced with determination that had you taking a step back at the sight of him not stopping until he was right in front of you. 
The energy of the room had gone tense before Taehyung snarled, “You bonded with my little brother and now you’re going to leave him!?” 
You shrieked at suddenly being shoved against the wall, your ribs throbbing in pain as Taehyung’s hand wrapped around your throat, crushing your windpipe as you gagged, “Humans really are pathetic selfish people.” Tentacles suddenly wrapped around Taehyung’s hand before he was ripped away from you, hot red scales were a blur as Jungkook stood in front of you protectively. 
Your hands rubbing your sore throat as you leaned against the wall gasping for air, “Stay out of this!” Jungkook growled, his lips twitching and his eyes burning into his brothers, “This doesn’t involve you, let me sort it out and if you ever fucking touch my mate like that again I won’t hesitate to rip your eggs straight out of your utaria.” 
You jolted at the sight of Taehyung lashing out at Jungkook, both of them slamming into the wall near the hallway as they grappled and yet you could only stare in shock at what had just happened and what you had just heard. Namjoon was immediately between them both separating the two as he growled, “Taehyung that wasn’t necessary! I doubt she even realizes what happened!” Namjoon immediately twisted towards Jungkook with a scowl, “And you! What did I tell you last night?” 
Jungkook’s jaw was clenched, his scales a hot burning red that matched Taehyung’s and yet his eyes couldn’t meet Namjoon’s, his lips twitching a little as he glared into the wall, his expression slowly melting as Namjoon snapped, “What did I tell you!? Why can’t you two ever listen for once? If you had we probably wouldn’t even be stuck on Earth right now! This is your mess Jungkook, I told you it wasn’t a good idea to bond this early on in our stay on Earth.” 
Jungkook’s expression had turned neutral but something in his eyes still seemed bitter as he stared at the ground now, perhaps too scared to look up at you, who had backed away from all the men in shock. You...but...Jungkook said…The silence set in and slowly each brother turned their gaze towards you before Jungkook was the last, his face filled with remorse at your expression as your lips parted, “You…! You told me-” Your lips parted variously before you finally forced out a sentence, “You lied to me!” 
“I didn’t!” Jungkook immediately hurried over to you, his expression filled with guilt and desperation, “I- Y/n I wasn’t even aware we had bonded until Taehyung pointed it out! I’m sorry I had no idea I…!” All you heard was excuse after excuse though, something indescribable filled your chest and your vision blurred in anger. 
“I’m going! I can’t…! I can’t even look at you right now Jungkook!” Upset felt like it had magnified tenfold in your chest as you rushed down the metal stairs, punching against the button before the door opened, your throat felt squeezed and like you were suffocating as you ran as far and fast as your legs could take you. What was happening to you? 
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“I’m fine…” 
Jimin and Seokjin exchanged glances, light poured in from the opened door behind them of your bedroom, the blanket wrapped around your body has you held it up above your nose, “Uh don’t lie bitch,” Jimin quirked a brow, his lips twitching in anger at just the sight of you trying to tell such an obvious lie, “It’s been three days since...whatever happened with JK- “Jungkook,” “I don’t give a fuck what his name is, you’ve been a recluse ever since, what happened?” 
Just the mention of Jungkook’s name made your chest physically ache as you curled further into yourself, you weren’t in physical pain, you couldn’t even fully describe it. 
All of your feelings just felt so amplified, like they swirled at just the surface of your chest and ready to burst out at any given moment. It felt like a physical string around your heart that squeezed and tugged harder and harder that left you in a depressed state with no energy left to do anything except what you had been doing.
Weakly sleeping half the time or scrolling on your phone in a useless attempt to think about anything other than Jungkook. You couldn’t even understand how you felt so attached to him and how much your body ached to just be wrapped up in his arms, but you were still so upset at what had happened. 
Questions swirled in your mind and to which you didn’t have the answer too and it made you even more upset that you wouldn’t get answers unless you went back, “Y/n, we’re just worried.” Seokjin raised his brows, his expression apprehensive but softened at the weak state you were in, “You haven’t been out of your room ever since the morning after the party. Midterms are just around the corner, I doubt you slack off for a shit reason.” 
You only curled up further before you sighed, closing your eyes as you finally caved in and mumbled an explanation as to what had happened and what you were now suffering under. Seokjin seemed more calm but Jimin’s lips were twitching in anger as he scowled, “You’re joking! Well let’s just go and demand he cut whatever alien ties he has on you.” 
You knew he was just trying to help but you only shook your head, “...Taehyung said I was the one that had apparently formed the bond, I didn’t even know that was possible.” You mumbled, you buried into your pillow, a feeling of guilt building into your chest as you tried to forget the ghost image of Jungkook’s hurt eyes in your mind. 
“Well it’s obviously affecting you mentally and physically, I mean seriously, you haven’t showered in days, you aren’t eating, Y/n…” Seokjin kneeled down, a frown on his face, “You need to swallow your pride, as stubborn as you are, and go talk to Jungkook about this. We’ll come with you, you probably won’t even have the energy to get there, but he’s the only one who can help.”
You managed to roll over to your side, your back facing them both now as you pulled the blanket over your head, you didn’t want to face Jungkook again, you weren’t sure you were ready to. You had so many mixed feelings and you weren’t even sure what to begin on asking questions. 
Neither said anymore before you heard Seokjin reluctantly sigh, “I’ll leave it for tonight, but tomorrow morning you’re giving us directions and we’re going to get this sorted.” They both left shortly after and closed the door sinking the room back into a depth of darkness. A heavy weight back on your chest and sudden ache filling you as you curled up, a dull sense of urgency inside you but you couldn’t distinguish what for. It felt like you needed to cry even despite not feeling sad, but maybe as a way to just release this energy.
But you didn’t do anything besides lay on your back, staring up at the ceiling as you sighed, trying to ignore the dull ache of your head, what a shit show. If you had known what your life would come to by just trying to be a good person, you would’ve left him in that ditch. ----
It felt like your body was being dragged through the mud, through the fire and hell maybe even gitting shit on at this point, “This is so stupid.” You mumbled, curled up in your hoodie as you hugged your knees into your chest in the back of Seokjin’s car. 
“You’re the one that fucked an alien,” Jimin snorted, twisting in his seat as he cocked a brow, “Which, what possessed you to do that seriously? Your stupid little hentai fantasies?” He stared at you with a bizarre expression as you snorted weakly. 
“Yeah pretty much.” 
“Fucking knew it,” Jimin collapsed back in his seat, “We could get our assholes probed by aliens now because she couldn’t keep her panties on at the sight of a slimy tentacle.” He raised his hands dramatically and you could’ve sworn you heard Seokjin try to keep from laughing at you both. 
“They’ll probe you with their tentacles too, apparently they make their own lube home made so they’ll slide it right in no problem.” If you had the energy you would’ve died laughing at the way Jimin whipped around in his seat in horror. 
“No fucking way. You WILLINGLY let him do that to you?” 
You couldn’t stop the weak laugh escaping you as you leaned your head against the window, “I’m a slut.” You shrugged before you lifted your head a little, “Right there! It should be in the field. I think it has some sort of cloaking shield or something.” Seokjin pulled off on the old winding back road which looked familiar enough.
He hadn’t been going fast to begin with and you had already stopped twice and the two other fields had been empty so this one had to be it, and if it wasn’t then it was safe to say you broken Jungkook’s heart right in two and he and his other space fuckboy brothers left Earth for good. Which you hoped not because you felt like you were in a weird limbo between life and death at the moment. 
Stepping out of the car you paused as you heaved a breath, leaning against the car as you sighed, the energy feeling like it had been sucked straight out of your soul every passing minute. Jimin looked at you mildly concerned as you waved him off, slowly pushing yourself straight up as you wrapped your arms around yourself. 
The comforts of your hoodie keep you warm as you ignore the dull ache in your chest, Seokjin and Jimin both kept close as you all looked like idiots wandering around in an empty field. The empty field however, upon stepping forward had suddenly blurred before the familiar sight of the ship came into view. Seokjin and Jimin were dumbfounded at the sight as they both stared. 
You only trudged forward towards the door before you slammed your hand against the metal door, “Well? What are you both doing just standing there?” You asked with a furrowed brow.
“Well sorry I didn’t fuck an alien the first chance I got.” Jimin fumbled out with a huff as he hurried over along with Seokjin. 
The door had immediately been opened to a relieved looking Namjoon, his eyes briefly landing on Jimin and Seokjin warily as he spoke, “I’m glad you came back! Come on, hurry in.” He ushered you in, “...I’m assuming these are your...friends…?” 
“Best friends, roommates, the same guys that also allowed your little space fuckboy to stay with us.” Jimin growled out as he crossed his arms, standing as a big brother you never asked for as Seokjin snorted. 
“Chill,” He shoved Jimin a little who only grumbled under his breath before he spoke, “I’m Seokjin and that’s Jimin, we’re Y/n’s roommates we’re already uh...aware of what you guys are we just...we don’t know what’s going on, we just want Y/n to be okay.” 
Namjoon nodded slowly, still a little wary but it was to be expected, he said no more as he widened the latch for the three of you, “Y/n left right at the beginning stage of their bond when it’s imperative that the newly bonded couple stay together and establish a stable connection. If not, it becomes unstable and drains the life force out of both individuals causing a wide variety of ailments and illnesses to take over. It’s good you guys came back when you did, Jungkook is doing even worse sense he was the Si in the bond.” 
“What is she doing back here?” Your lips twitched a little at the snarl from Taehyung who had shot up from his seat at the table, his eyes glaring holes into you and honestly, if he could vaperize you into dust at the moment you were sure he probably would. 
“Here to break the little probe ass connection your fuckboy put on her,” Jimin snapped back unappreciative at someone talking this way to you especially in the condition you were in right now.
Taehyung’s lip twitched as he shot out of his seat, “My little brother may be naive but he had good intentions and she took advantage of his fragile state! He wasn’t in any sort of headspace to do anything!” You only curled away from Taehyung with mixed feelings, you wouldn’t necessarily describe Jungkook’s state of mind at the time, fragile as it was just horny. 
Namjoon sighed as he looked at Seokjin before at you and then the two feuding men who were practically glaring into one another, “Taehyung, don’t do anything irrational, I’m going to get Jungkook.” Namjoon disappeared and it was quiet inside the ship as a tension took over the room. 
You tried your best to ignore it as you slumped against the wall, listening to the whirling on the interior running. Not a minute later you heard a loud flutter of steps as you looked up, Jungkook’s hair had been ruffled and he had looked extraordinarily tired, his scales however were lit up a sky blue, his lips parted as if trying to figure out if you were real or not before he hurried to you. 
His arms wrapping around you and a small whimper escaping him as his nose rubbed into your neck, your face pressed into his chest with a sigh of relief, the dull ache in your chest fading quickly as you basked in the warmth of Jungkook’s arms. You had hugged many people in your life before and sure it was nice, but you couldn’t even describe the wash of comfort and love that radiated through your entire being at being curled up in this man’s arms. 
Jungkook’s nose nudged at your neck a little and buried himself into your embrace as his fingers fiddled with the thick material of your hoodie, “Jungkook,” Jungkook shuffled a little, his body practically wrapped around you as his eyes slowly looked up from his content figure to meet Namjoon’s gaze, “You both should go lay down and begin to properly set your bond together, I’m sure you’re both exhausted.” 
Jungkook nodded wordlessly, perhaps not trusting himself to speak as he began to lead you towards his pod, “Woah, wait hold on.” Jimin cut in only for a snarl like growl to escape Jungkook, tentacles suddenly shooting from his back protectively pulling towards the front of his body to create a barrier between you and any threat that might take you away from him. 
“Woah holy fuck!” Jimin nearly screeched, holding his hands up and freaking out a little at seeing a killer glare on such an innocent face, “We didn’t come here for this…! What, what do you mean, set a bond? I don’t want Y/n out of our sight…!” 
Jungkook’s lip twitched in annoyance as he set his chin on your shoulder, his arms tightening around your waist and you could see the red glow of his scales slowly deepening further into a dark maroon, he did not look happy. 
Namjoon put up a hand, offering a tense smile, “All that entails is them being together and being close, they need to stabilize their bond. Once it’s set they can figure out whether they want to...bond further or…” Namjoon didn’t finish his sentence, is eyes warily lingering on the younger’s expression which was sharp and annoyed, “...You get the idea, I would advise against stopping him, trying to separate them now when he just got her back….I can’t guarantee I’ll keep you both alive.” 
Jimin and Seokjin shared a wary glance before stepping aside, Jungkook’s gaze broody as he watched them sharply as he trudged you both forward, his tentacles still out and floating behind him now as if ready to strike on contact. The tension didn’t leave until you were back into his pod once more, the room having not been changed except for a lot more clutter accumulation- much like your own room. 
You hadn’t even had the chance to open your mouth before you were suddenly picking up, your legs wrapping around Jungkook as you squirmed, “Jungkook!” You squeaked out, his hands gripping your ass tightly but his face kept nudging into your neck as he whined,  the killer aura he had not seconds ago immediately disappearing, “Don’t ever do that again,” You were nearly crushed when you were dropped onto the bed before Jungkook collapsed on top of you, “Please.” Guilt nearly devoured your heart at the way Jungkook held back a sob, his voice pleading and cracked, “It’s not fair! You-! You can’t just do this to me then leave. Never again.” You felt warm substance dripping onto your skin and your heart was pounding in your chest. 
An innate need coursing through your veins to dry his tears as you did so, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry okay?” You whispered out, your hands cupping his cheeks, that iridescent glow on his skin and his eyes watery and big, “I’m just…! I was just scared, I didn’t know what was going on and I just thought I needed time to think. I had no idea what the effects were and what would happen if I left. I’m not going to leave okay? I won’t leave.” 
Jungkook only closed his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks and you couldn’t help but watch in a melancholy awe at an almost glittery substance filling his tears, making the stains on his skin glisten and glitter under the dark lights of his room, Jungkook said no more, perhaps not trusting himself too and only curled himself further against your as your hands soothingly ran through his hair as his body melted into yours. No words were further spoken between you both as you curled against him once more, your nose burying in his hair with the innate need to comfort him. 
Feelings were too intense and magnified, as if you could feel every speck of hurt and misery Jungkook had suffered without you and despite being cognitively aware you in any other case wouldn’t be like this, you still were. You didn’t understand what happened, or how it happened, but what you did know was that despite all of the uncertainty, Jungkook needed you. 
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You weren’t sure how much time had passed, neither of you had talked for what seemed like hours, only staying close in one another's arms, and slow but surely, that unstable feeling in your chest was beginning to fade and was replaced by what you could only describe as a warm, bright thrum.
Both of you were awake, but Jungkook’s eyes looked far away, his face still laid against your chest as you tenderly stroked through his hair, “Jungkook,” He didn’t respond right away, shifting a little before those doe eyes looked up at you, his lips jutted into a soft pout that nearly broke your heart out of guilt, “What....what’s going on? I don’t understand anything.” Your fingers delicately traced his prominent cheekbones, his face immediately nuzzling into your hand as his eyes closed. 
Jungkook’s lips trembled only a little as he mumbled, “...I...I’m not sure...I told you before that in order for a bond to be created it has to be wanted between both parties involved,” His nose nudged your hand as you tenderly thumbed his cheek, “Wh-which means...even if it wasn’t a surface thought you still energetically reached out and initiated the bond making you the Fi and me the Si since I accepted without realizing.” 
His lips went pouty before he pressed his head back against your chest as you stared down at him mildly confused, perhaps realizing this he spoke further, “Fi and Si are considered sacred opposites, in a bond both people take on one or the other, the initiator the Fi and the receiver the Si, it makes sense you didn’t feel as much as I did, the Fi in the bond isn’t affected nearly as heavily as the Si is because you were the one who created the bond.”
You still didn’t quite understand other than this being a Yin and Yang equivalent with a dash of omegaverse on the side, but then again, if humans had descended from Orionian’s then the apple truly didn’t fall too far from the tree. 
“And...the Fi is what…? The more dominant one?” You quirked a brow, a smile threatening to tug on your lips as Jungkook looked up at you, an unfair pout of his face as he set his chin on your chest, leading you to believe there was some merit to your words. 
“Not exactly, it just means you were the one who established the bond, making you the one who, in more primal words, the caretaker. With newly bonded couples, it’s imperative that you be together for the first few days to stabilize the bond. Si tends to be more....” He shifted a little, his scales becoming pink as he buried into your chest, “...Clingy...and Fi tends to facilitate and care for Si while the bond stabilizes.”
Your hand made its way back to his hair as you tenderly combed through the soft silky locks as Jungkook’s relaxed back against you, practically melting into your touch as you hummed, “And...if it isn’t stabilized?” 
Jungkook shifted a little against you as he mumbled, “...Well, both people become....I don’t know how to truly describe, if a bond isn’t stabilized...it becomes difficult to distinguish your own feelings from your partners, and with the bond unstable it causes an emptiness to fill both which causes sadness and pain, but because feelings can be mutually felt, it magnifies those feelings tenfold...Until eventually….” Jungkook frowned as he shrugged a little timidly, “Both go insane, or end up commiting suicide out of despair. Si feels it a lot more intensely then Fi though because of being the one who was tethered into the bond rather than creating it.”
Oh…
You said nothing, feeling even worse now knowing what had happened and what you could have possibly caused, not only this but for Jungkook to suffer through so much all because you couldn’t just hear him out for less than five minutes, “Don’t blame yourself,” Jungkook sat up a little to look at you earnestly, as if knowing exactly what you felt despite not saying anything, “You don’t know anything about Orionian’s, I...I should’ve handled everything better then I did…” His gaze lowered looking a little glassy as he sighed, “Just...please never do that again.” He collapsed back against you with a quiet mumble, “I was miserable.” 
“I won’t baby.” You ushered softly, pressing your lips into his hair as he basked in your love, the silence taking over once more as you relaxed back down against him, intending on letting yourself fall asleep again before you felt a low rumble in your stomach, before you sighed...Well he did say since you were….Fi...that you were supposed to be a caretaker....?
“Hey, I’m starving...you want me to get us something to eat?” You sat up a little as Jungkook shifted beneath you with a whine, his cheeks puffing a little as he huffed, saying nothing but you had a suspicion that he was definitely hungry, “I’m getting us something to eat, what do you want babe?” You got out of bed making Jungkook scramble with another whine. 
He immediately latched himself to you as you sighed, “Then we’re going together. Do you guys even have human food here?” 
“We have plamatic barrettes.” Jungkook perked a little in excitement as you frowned. 
“Can...Are...are they edible for humans?” You raised a brow as you opened the door, doing an awkward waddle as Jungkook back hugged you, happily nuzzling into your neck before he frowned.
“Well...um…” He rubbed his head as you tutted, it wasn’t that you weren’t willing to try it but you were really craving some fries right now and whatever it was they ate, didn’t sound even close to a potato. 
“We can try it later babe, I brought my wallet so we can go get something to eat, if Jimin and Seokjin haven’t left it’ll be like a two minute drive.” You shrugged as you both entered the common space. 
“You both aren’t going anywhere.” Namjoon had been running around with Taehyung while Jimin and Seokjin were working frantically on...what looked like an engine box as the man turned around with a serious expression making you and Jungkook twist into concern, “The Arbitrators are here on Earth, which means we’re leaving.” 
You didn’t quite understand the gravity of the situation but...you had a feeling this wasn’t an ideal situation.
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cheri-translates · 3 years
Note
Hello cheri! How is your day? Im a fellow gavin stan but recently there is a guy stealing my attention and its shaw hahaha bt i still love gavin my 1st love on game. anyway on your opinion how did mc fell for shaw? And when shaw finds out he likes mc? Thank you ❤
(´・ᴗ・ ` ) Hello Anon! My day is great after receiving this interesting yet challenging question~ The development of a relationship requires the involvement of both parties, so I ended up discussing both questions simultaneously!
Here are the short answers to your questions, but do note that these are just my personal opinions:
1. She uncovered and accepted his complexities
2. Exciting Moment Date
A summary of the Shaw x MC dynamics can be found in these lines from Exciting Moment Date: 
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Let’s dive deeper into each line.
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1. “Emboldened by the straightforward response, I couldn’t help but move closer to him.”
For this, we have to chart the development of MC’s impression of Shaw across the dates.
Shaw’s first event (i.e. Night Fire) took place one week after MC entered the Winter World. In a world where nobody else recognised her, it was perfectly natural for MC to gravitate towards Shaw despite not knowing him well:
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At the same time, her instincts cautioned her to stay away from him. After all, how good could a person be if he seemed to dye his hair in a flamboyant colour, wore a riveted jacket, and handed out fake identities like it’s nothing?
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Her instincts also warned her that he was the one who attempted to strike Victor in Ch 10 of the main storyline:
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At this point, she was likely experiencing two conflicting emotions. On one hand, she was very dependent on him and filled with gratitude for the emotional and practical help he gave her. 
In a world where she had no idea how to proceed, Shaw’s straightforwardness and self-assured nature likely provided her a huge sense of comfort.
At the same time, her instincts sounded the alarm bells in her head.
But being the kind and good-natured MC she is, she continued sticking around with Shaw and was even concerned for his well-being. 
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Within the span of one day in One-Day Date, she didn’t just move closer to him physically, but also learnt that he’s actually a graduate student in Loveland University who takes his exams seriously. She also learnt that he’s a talented bass player, and also talented in graffiti. 
She learnt that perhaps there’s greater substance to this young man than she originally thought. And this led to her curiosity being aroused - what more could she uncover about this mysterious man?
One glaring commonality in Shaw’s early dates is that MC asks A LOT of questions. Just as Shaw was intrigued by MC, MC was equally intrigued by him, and actually expressed it even more clearly.
There are too many questions to list down, so here are Shaw’s reactions to them instead:
In the Rosa Rubus event:
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In the Genuine or Fake Call from Seeking Date:
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In Exciting Moment Date:
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MC can’t help but draw nearer to him.
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2. “The music was being played at a low volume. But because Shaw was wearing only one earphone and the room was quiet, I could still hear the sound of music coming from the other earphone.”
As mentioned at the start, both parties needed to take a step for the relationship to develop successfully. Hence, it didn’t matter if MC barraged Shaw with questions if he wasn’t receptive to them. 
He needed to take the initiative to “wear only one earphone” so that MC was able to understand him through the other. At the same time, MC needed to listen carefully to the “low volume” of Shaw’s genuine feelings.
To elaborate on the above paragraph, we have to understand the way Shaw operates.
In a recent Ask where someone asked about his personality, I mentioned that he’s straightforward like Gavin yet mysterious like Lucien. This might come across strange because how could such a contradiction exist?
But that’s exactly how Shaw is. The reason why Shaw behaves like this is due to a mix of nature and nurture. 
He’s naturally impetuous (e.g. drawn to adrenaline-stirring activities such as skateboarding, performing rock, sneaking into places he shouldn’t be sneaking into). But he was taught by experience and in the study of archaeology to be patient.
Basically, this mixture of nature and nurture results in push-pull dynamics when it comes to Shaw, and a beautifully crafted slow burn where Shaw has to grapple with his feelings for MC. I’ve done a post on his early feelings for MC which you can check out here!
[PUSH] In One-Day Date, he asked her out yet left her to dry:
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[PULL] Afterwards, he invited her to indulge in his hobby, and even asked her keep her art on the wall even though he insulted it 5 seconds ago:
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[PULL] In Exciting Moment Date, he wanted to spend time alone with MC:
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[PUSH] But he didn’t have a concrete plan on what they’d do:
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[PUSH] He made it seem like holding hands wasn’t a big deal:
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[PULL] But he vehemently refused to let go:
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[PUSH] In Exciting Date, he closed himself off:
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[PULL] But relented soon afterwards:
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Remember how I mentioned before that MC tended to barrage Shaw with a ton of questions in his earlier dates? Interestingly, Shaw didn’t actually mind them.
We see this in his Genuine or Fake Call from Seeking Date:
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And also in his Future Bass Call from Exciting Date:
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Deep down, Shaw wants to be understood. He wants to be heard. But he needs someone who’s thick-skinned enough to handle his sharp tongue, and to care enough to understand the hidden meaning behind his words, whether said or unsaid. I’ll return to this point at the end.
And at the same time, MC listens. Aside from asking questions about his present motivations, she also wanted to know about his past, and about him as a person:
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Anger reveals a lot about a person’s true concerns, so let’s break down this particular line when MC went off on a little rant about Shaw:
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In other words, “You’re a contradiction and I can’t comprehend how your mind works. I’m feeling frustrated because I can’t seem to understand your thought process. I wish you would stop disagreeing with me because I want to be on the same wavelength as you are. I really want to understand you."
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3. “To my surprise, it was an instrumental - slow, deep, soft, mixed with the sound of rain.”
While Shaw engages in this this pull-push tango with MC while she tries to understand him, she is surprised when she sees that there’s more to Shaw than his bravado.
In One-Day Date, she notices his vulnerability:
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In Seeking Date, she gets a glimpse of -
His seriousness:
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His quietness:
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His kindness in the way he kicked the stone away to prevent others from tripping over it:
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His meticulousness, albeit slightly delayed:
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In Exciting Date (including the prologue), she guesses that there’s more depth to Shaw that she realised:
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She is also a recipient of his kindness:
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Again and again:
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4. “Gingerly, I moved another step toward him for a clearer listen.”
These traits drew her closer to him. She started trusting him without even realising it.
In Seeking Date:
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In the prologue of Exciting Date:
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She also picked up the way he speaks in the Rosa Rubus event and Exciting Date (and even more so in future CN content):
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How did Shaw respond to MC’s incessant drive to know him more? He imbibed the words of his mentor:
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He was very patient.
He tested her tenacity in running errands as his informant. He tested how well she kept to her promises. He tested how much she cared about the Dragonfly Eye bead he gave her. He tested how much she cared about not making a fool of Isolated on stage.
He also took his sweet time grappling with why he was inexplicably drawn to her, which manifested in the form of the push-pull dynamics mentioned earlier in Point 2. 
Was he simply an observer toying with MC? Was he simply deriving amusement from MC’s reactions?
And after all that testing and waiting, he finally knew for sure:
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Shaw not only offered to let MC into his world. 
He also carved out a space in his world for her.
And that’s when the Shaw x MC ship sailed.
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ichorai · 3 years
Text
cellmates ; five ; j.wy
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pairing ; jung wooyoung x reader
summary ; stuck in jail after stealing a necklace off the princess, what happens when your new cellmate with an impossible escape plan comes along?
themes ; fantasy, angst, slowburn, action, adventure, medieval, pirates, magic, elves, mermaids, royalty
words ; 8.9k
warnings / includes ; character death, blood and grime and injury and everything in between, reader being tied/chained up :(, vulgar cursing, crying, rowdy pirates, "keep the love interests away from each other" trope <3, ✨pure confusion✨, me torturing my characters once again yikes, ateez cameos !!, cellmates to (future) lovers !!
a/n ; uhm. hi. first off, i apologize for taking so long with this series KWHJKSDFK and second, i am also so sorry for what you're about to read o.0 this one's a real angsty part folks :') i swear i swear it gets better don't be too upset :(( i love writing this series so much (it's prob my favorite original story) and im so excited to hear yalls thoughts :D
cellmates masterlist.
a map of this universe is included at the end of the chapter !!!
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Cerulean beaches never quite looked like real beaches to you. The sand was as white as snow, the gentle lapping waters so bright they looked to be molten sapphires. It was all far too perfect to be naturally authentic. You were pleased to find that your boots left shallow imprints in the sand, disrupting the once pristine terrain.
Night was creeping upon you once again, and you were in desperate need for a good sleep. You were lucky that Yunho didn’t live very far off, also pleasantly surprised to find that you could even remember the way back (though admittedly, it took a considerable amount of backtracking).
The front of his little cottage was just as you remembered, albeit dark and somewhat dingy. None of the candles or oil lamps were lit and the curtains were drawn. The large expanse of his garden seemed somewhat unmaintained, weeds starting to sprout from between the wilting, once bright flowers.
You knocked against the door thrice, clasping your hands behind your back while you waited. How would Yunho react upon seeing you? What if he blamed you for losing Wooyoung? What if he didn’t believe you? What would you say then? Much like the first time you came to Yunho’s little cottage, tumultuous questions and irrational thoughts churned about in your mind.
It took a long while for you to realize that nobody had answered the door yet. You blinked, mystified, and raised a fist to rap on the wood again. You grew impatient rather quickly, knocks progressively becoming more frequent and hurried.
“Yunho?” You called out after about five minutes of waiting. By then, it was obvious that the man was either not home or avoiding you on purpose. And considering how friendly and sweet the pink-headed giant was the last you saw, you doubted it was the latter. “I’m coming in!”
The door opened in a fluid motion, knocking against the wall behind as you swung it open. You stepped inside tentatively, peering around with widened eyes. It was completely dark inside. So much so that it took you a few minutes for your eyes to properly adjust to the ill-lit hallway. Just as you had remembered, the small living room was to your left and quaint kitchen to your right, the winding staircase situated in the corner. The familiar scent of maple wood was still lingering in the air, although faint and almost imperceptible.
You shut the door behind you and toed off your boots, shuffling into the kitchen.
“Yunho?” Your voice eerily echoed in the empty cottage.
And so you made your way up the staircase, peering into the bedrooms. A heavy feeling gripped at your chest when you glanced into Yunho’s bedroom. That was where you and Wooyoung kissed… you could still remember the feeling of his arms wrapped around your waist, his warm breath on the back of your neck. You wondered what would’ve happened if you hadn’t stopped him. How far would the two of you have gone?
Shaking all thoughts of the past away, you bounded back down the stairs. There was no sign of Yunho at all. Just where could he be? You tried your best comforting yourself; perhaps he had gone out for a walk. Surely he’d be back soon.
Much to your dismay and gradually rising concern, Yunho didn’t show up at all. Not when the sun started to rise again, not when you passed out in sheer exhaustion on a kitchen stool (you couldn’t bring it in yourself to go back up to the bedrooms), and not even when you stirred back into consciousness, the late morning sun glaring at you harshly through the slivers between the curtains.
Your bones cracked and popped as you stood up and arched your back, rolling your stiff neck from side to side. From the pirate ship, you had brought little else than a knapsack full of gold you found in one of the cellars, food that could last you a couple days, water skins, and two sheathed daggers. Everything else on the ship was practically worthless, or too heavy to carry.
With a heavy sigh, you splashed water onto your face using the kitchen tap and patted your sleep-ruffled hair down. The skin around your wrists were still raw and stung when you rinsed away the crusted blood. You wished San had given you that coconut extract lotion; you couldn’t seem to find it anywhere on the ship. Guilt-stricken, you turned off the water and slung the knapsack over your good shoulder.
If Yunho was gone, then where else could you go? It seemed wrong to stay in his home without his knowing.
Air. You just needed air to clear up your mind.
Stepping outside felt like a mistake. Under the bright sunlight, you felt your head throb dully in agitation. The garden looked even more lamentable now than last night, the flowers drooping so far that their browning petals grazed the dry soil beneath. The air felt thick and heavy, and you huffed out several breaths to relax your tense muscles, shutting your eyes in the process.
“What are you doing?”
The voice was so sudden and unexpected, you couldn’t help but shriek, flinching back against the cottage door. You were met with an old man standing just shy of Yunho’s unkempt garden, his gaze confused and somewhat judgemental.
“W-What?” You muttered once regaining your scattered thoughts.
“I said,” the older man shot you an exasperated look. “What are you doing, waiting by that house? Nobody lives there.”
It felt as if cold water was dripping down your spine, and you crossed your arms over your chest, shivering slightly. “But… that can’t be true… Yunho lives here. He’s a, uhm, a baker, I think. This is his house.”
The old man regarded you like someone would look at a madman. There was something in his tone that told you that he wasn’t taking you seriously. “I’m sorry to say this, but nobody’s lived there for years and years. I’ve never heard of a baker named Yunho in this area.”
“No… but I was just here a few days ago with him…” Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip in thought. What was going on? Where could he have gone? What could’ve happened to him?
In your peripheral vision, you saw the old man hobble away, but not without stopping to glance back at you with narrowed eyes every few steps.
And then you remembered with a sharp intake of breath. You and Wooyoung were thrown into jail to fade away into nothing but legends… and now nobody believes you really exist… Wooyoung was thought to be dead by everybody… could the same be happening to his innocent, pink-haired friend? A dark, tar-slicked hand reached out into the confines of your chest and curled its slimy fingers around your palpitating heart in a steely grip.
They took Yunho. The realization had you slapping a palm to your mouth, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. It all made sense; the untended garden, the old man saying nobody’s lived here for years… it sickened you to think that the only reason you could remember him was because you weren’t in Cerulea when he ‘disappeared’.
“Oh, no. Oh, god, no!” You leaned against the door, overwhelmed. If they took Yunho, would they have Wooyoung, too? Did Wooyoung even come back to Cerulea? If he wasn’t here, then he’d be the only other person who remembered Yunho.
Just what the hell are you going to do now?
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It felt wrong to stay in Yunho’s empty little cottage with your newfound realization. The pirate ship was the second best option, but even that was much too far for your trembling legs; you doubted you’d even make it to the beaches, much less get in a small boat to row back to the anchored ship. Besides, the memory of San jumping off the side was one that you weren’t very keen on reliving.
And so, that was how you found yourself in front of an inn, only two cobbled roads away. The heavy door whined as you gently nudged it open, shuffling inside. Your heart was thumping against your ribcage so loudly that you could barely hear anything else. For once, you were glad that your name had faded into legend. To them, you were probably just another nobody.
The inn held the thick aroma of cheap alcohol and spritzer perfume. You glanced around curiously, noting the few people poking away at their breakfast and chugging down their frothy ales.
What looked to be the owner of the establishment was standing behind a counter, looking bored. He caught your eyes, and despite your head telling you to turn around and walk back to the pirate ship, you found yourself shuffling forward.
“What can I do for you?” The innkeeper asked, eyeing your haggard appearance.
Feebly, you pulled out a handful of gold coins and dropped them onto the wood of the counter. “Can I just get a room for the night? Will this be enough?”
The man across from you stared at you incredulously, his gaze flickering from the gold to your wide eyes. “Where’d you get all this money from? You didn’t steal it, did you?”
You blinked twice, shrugging your shoulders slightly. “They’re my savings.”
He looked upon you dubiously, but accepted the coins nonetheless. “You can have breakfast if you’d like. It comes with the room.”
Shaking your head slightly, you replied, “thanks, but I just want to get settled in for now. I’ll come down for luncheon.”
“Suit yourself,” the innkeeper quipped, sliding over a rusty key with eight engraved into its dull metal. “Head upstairs, turn left.”
And so that’s where you went, the wooden stairs creaking under your weight. You slotted the key into the lock of a door that had a large metal eight clearly displayed, and heaved the door open. By now, it felt as if your muscles were on fire. Everything seemed to be aching.
The first thing your eyes laid upon was a small bed, a thin, lavender-hued fleece wool blanket draped over the lumpy mattress and a single measly pillow propped up at its head. It took everything within you not to dive into the warmth of the woolen layer, but you managed to bide your time, even if it was just a couple minutes.
You toed off your boots, the soles of your feet practically numb. The pack that hung on your shoulder was next to come off, sliding down your arm and onto the bedside table. There was an unlit candle by the windowsill, but still more than enough light streaming in, seeing how it was still quite early in the morning.
The air smelled of breakfast from downstairs; consisting of, from what you saw, honeyed oatcakes and fruit tarts and rations of fried eggs and sausage. Your stomach was still quite empty, but you didn’t have the heart to go back. You needed time to think, time to rest.
After you nursed a few sips of water from a bottle in your knapsack, you finally allowed yourself to sink onto the bed, sighing out in contentment.
Everything felt so quiet, so still. This all felt like one of the stories you’d make up back when you were still in the cell. Perhaps it was all a bad dream, and you’d wake up in Wooyoung’s arms in Yunho’s little cottage, his lips littering soft kisses down the column of your throat until you stirred back into consciousness. A shiver ran through your spine and you sluggishly tucked the blanket up to your chin.
But since this wasn’t a dream, you found yourself at a loss.
“Oh, Wooyoung,” you whispered. “What should I do? Where are you?”
It was so quiet that you could imagine Wooyoung’s voice in your head saying, “Don’t worry about me. Just go. Get back on the ship and sail away and never look back.” You frowned at the thought, curling onto your side so that your knees were pressed up to your chest.
“I love you,” were the last words imaginary-Wooyoung murmured, before your mind grew blank. The silence that followed was what ultimately lulled you into a tranquil slumber.
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You were awoken partly from the light from outside angling directly into your shut eyes, and partly from the agitated growl emitting from your stomach. Blearily blinking the sleep away, you glanced around the room, fumbling for the bottle in the knapsack. After gulping down enough to quench your thirst, you slid out from underneath the purple blankets.
And following digging your knuckles into your eye sockets, you stumbled towards your boots, shoving your still-sore feet in. You didn’t bother lacing up the loose threads. After all, you were just going down for lunch, anyway.
Downstairs, the inn seemed far more crowded than it had been in the morning. A twinge of paranoia sang its trill song in the back of your mind, but you pushed the thoughts away, moving to sit on a dark stool in the corner.
“Slept well, I presume?” The innkeeper grinned slightly, raising an eyebrow at the state of your rumpled hair. “What’ll you have for luncheon, then?”
“Anything you have, I suppose,” you replied in a raspy tone, clearing your throat slightly.
A bowl of steaming rice and battered fish cubes slid across the counter, along with a side of warm bread and a slab of light canary-hued butter melting off the top. You were quick to tuck in, eating at a pace that would most probably have your stomach complaining in the near future.
The innkeeper looked like he wanted to ask you something, but ultimately didn’t get the chance as an influx of customers poured through the doors. You barely glanced upwards, wanting nothing more than to finish up your meal and head back upstairs to properly plan out what you were going to do. The growing crowd’s noise was starting to make you feel a little antsy.
A solid five minutes later, your bowl was already empty, save for sticky rice kernels stuck to the bottom. You dropped a gold coin next to the half-eaten buttery bread as a token of thanks for the innkeeper.
And when you hopped off the stool and looked forwards, you could practically feel your heart lurch into your throat. The sight of him was one that you never thought you’d see again, nor did you want to. You’d recognize him anywhere. He looked unchanged, the same roughly-shaven beard covering the expanse of his squared jaw, the jagged scar that trailed over his sallow cheekbones. Those damned stormy eyes, the same color as the princess’ silver necklace.
The man that had guarded your cell for God knows how long surveyed the chatting crowd with an ugly scowl imprinted onto his features, nose upturned as if he misliked being amongst the common folk. He moved away from the door, shoving past the common civilians milling about. The innkeeper was the first to notice the burly man’s presence, raising a questioning eyebrow.
“Hello, sir. How can I help you today?”
Completely skipping over any need for niceties, the guard held up an unfurled scroll, “We’re searching all nearby premises for a dangerous criminal. Looks like this.”
From your position, you couldn’t see what he was showing the innkeeper, but it was quite obvious that it was some sort of rough artistic rendition of you. Dread trickled into you as you watched his face morph into one of slight recognition.
You needed to leave. Right now.
The busy throng of civilians were used to your advantage as you silently weaved through the crowded inn, people you bumped into ranging from deliriously drunk to slightly tipsy. Your heartbeat was thundering far too loudly, to the point where you couldn’t hear what the guard was growling out. You were a couple meters behind him now… if he so much as looked backwards, you would be a dead person standing.
Shit. The knapsack. It was still in your room. You probably wouldn’t last two days without it. And so, you set off for upstairs, pace steadily growing quicker, in tandem with your palpitating heart rate.
Grab your pack, leave from the window, repeated itself over and over in your head, a mantra of panic and dread. Downstairs was too much of a risk.
You were running so quickly that your boots caught onto the wood of the stair steps, and you just about face planted against the bunt of the hard surface. Pain blossomed across your nose bridge and temple. Slightly disoriented, you pushed yourself back onto your feet and rushed away. No time. There was no time at all to get hurt. You needed to leave. What good were you to Yunho, to Wooyoung, if you were thrown back into a cell?
Utter relief sank its greedy claws into you as you burst into your room. No time, no time, no time, your own voice echoed in your head. You grabbed the knapsack and pushed at the window and—
“Shit!” You cursed angrily when the window didn’t budge, the cold panes wedged tightly against the wooden slats. It was then that you noticed the bolted lock clipping the window pane and wooden framing together. “Oh, fuck.” Your breaths came out as tight, staggered pants.
Before you could decide on what to do next, you heard shrill screaming come from downstairs, the terrible sound of steel against flesh reaching your ears. There was nowhere to go from here. You were trapped.
Practically hyperventilating at this point, you scurried back to the door. Perhaps if you went downstairs and blended into the crowd, you could get out without anybody else noticing.
But alas, you never got the chance. Because just as you turned into the hall, you were met with the horrendous sight of the stormy-eyed guard, the very same one that you saw every single day you were in that rotten cell, an appalling look of triumph splayed across his rugged features.
A leering grin twisted his ugly features in such a horrid manner that it took all you had in you not to retch. You noticed the way his sword was unsheathed, a ripe shade of carmine trickling down its sleek blade. No doubt that’s the innkeeper’s blood, you thought solemnly.
Before you could react, the guard’s calloused hand shot out to grab your forearm, pulling you along with him so roughly that you stumbled onto the floor, hands and knees scraping against the wood in a manner that had your skin torn and bleeding. Feebly, you attempted to grab at anything to hit him with, to hold on to out of desperation. With no remaining patience, the monster of a man yanked you upwards by the throat. Choked gasps left you as your hands darted up to claw at his clenching fingers, but you immediately stiffened when he snarled out something that had your blood running cold.
“The Gods have been kind to you today, girl. I would have you speared right here… have you bleeding out until all the life has been drained right out of you.” His putrid breath fanned across your neck as you struggled in his iron-clad grip fruitlessly. “Lucky for you, the princess has personally requested you be brought back alive.”
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It was dark outside when Wooyoung cracked his eyelids open for the second time. Through the window across from him, he could see a plethora of stars speckled across a blanket of raven black, glinting and winking at him through the glass. The room he was in was beautifully decorated, stone arches elegantly curving just below the ceiling and intricate flame holders spaced out on the pristine walls. The candles bathed the room in a gentle honey-like luminescence; calming and tranquil, almost a sedative. All of his previous aches and pains were now dulled to gentle numbness.
Where am I?
“Glad to see you’re back awake. You’re not going to pass out on me again, are you?”
Wooyoung nearly screamed at the sudden voice from beside him, flinching so hard that the crown of his skull knocked against the bed’s headboard. He hissed in pain, face contorting into a grimace.
The elf (Yeosang was his name, Wooyoung faintly recalled) muffled a snort underneath his breath before swiftly pulling up a chair and sitting beside him, “Does it still hurt anywhere? I tried to heal your wounds with sarcio essence, but seeing that you’re human, it’ll take a bit longer for you to recover. You took quite a beating, you know.”
Wooyoung tried to speak, but the dryness in his throat made it hard to speak.
“Oh, here.” The attentive elf poured cold water from a pitcher into a small cup, handing it over to Wooyoung. He gingerly drank, swallowing with great effort.
“Where… where am I?”
After pursing his lips in thought, Yeosang bowed his head slightly, glancing at the tight bandages wrapped around the dark-headed man’s torso. “You’re in Nymaeden.”
“Nymaeden?!” Wooyoung just about shrieked. His bruised features twisted in agony. Perhaps he shouldn’t have shouted. Then, in a much softer tone, he mumbled out, “how did I get here?”
He was, most likely, all the way across the world from you. Although his mind was still heavily clouded, you were still fresh and prominent in his mind. He hoped you were okay… left tied up on that pirate ship… Gods, this was all his fault… What a fool he was, thinking you’d be okay after all that you’d gone through. You probably thought that he was dead.
The blond elf arched an eyebrow. “You don’t remember?” When Wooyoung shook his head in hesitant denial, Yeosang continued on patiently, leaning forward.
“It was just three nights ago…”
The waters were cold, seeping into his flesh and bones, filling every one of his orifices, the salt trickling into him like sand down an hourglass. He could feel it drip into his lungs. Bubbles of his life slipped past his cracked-open lips and Wooyoung, with what little energy he had left to spare, lifted his fingers and tried to catch the small globules of air. The sticky blood that clung onto his skin like honey dissipated into the ocean, staining the waters a darker, sinister hue.
Wooyoung closed his eyes. His limp body sank further and further down. This was the end.
But was it?
Mermaids, being curious and spirited creatures they were, watched the injured handsome man drift across the ocean, crimson blood seeping out of his wounds. They had seen how he was thrown off the ship, how he had fought when he was onboard. They took pity on him. Even unconscious, a pain, far deeper-rooted than his physical cuts and gashes, was quite obviously splayed across his features. It was the face of a man with an utterly broken heart. He had just lost something very dear to him, that was made abundantly clear.
The small group of mermaids glanced at each other worriedly, almost immediately reaching a mutual consensus. In a swarm of colorful scales and wispy locks of hair, they swam towards the unmoving body.
One of them shamelessly prodded at him, ogling him with widened eyes, and they waited with baited breath. Wooyoung did not awaken. And so, two of the elegant creatures wrapped their arms around his leaking torso, and jolted into a brisk swim, carrying him across the oceans. Wooyoung’s raven hair pulled away from his face, revealing the deep gashes across his paling skin. A thinning trail of his blood followed them. They had to be quick; this man was just on the verge of greeting death.
They were taking him to Nymaeden, the land of the Elves. The elvish folk were the best healers they knew, and they were rather fond of the mermaids. Perhaps they would be willing to heal this unfortunate soul.
“We found you on the beaches,” Yeosang said in a discolored tone. “You were… you were practically dead. It was a miracle we got your heart rate back up, really. You’re either an incredibly thick-skulled fighter or… you’re just a coward afraid of death.”
Wooyoung winced at the elf’s stinging remark. Which was it? Was he running away from what was inevitable? What was he fighting for?
Y/N, the small voice in his head chimed. Wooyoung swallowed heavily.
“These mermaids… could I speak to them? Maybe they saw where the pirate ship went!”
Almost immediately, Yeosang shook his head. “I’m sorry, the mermaids are long gone now. They’re due up North, and I doubt they’d come back anytime soon.” There was a whicker of sympathy hidden behind his molten hazel irises. “Do you have any other plans? We can’t exactly keep you here in the medbay for all eternity.”
For a second, Wooyoung’s ragged breathing stilled.
“Pirates,” he murmured under his breath unsurely, just loud enough for the elf to pick up. “Where can I find them?”
Rearing back, Yeosang hissed out, “you must’ve hit your head harder one too many times, human. You were almost in death’s bony grasp, and now you want to go back?”
“I don’t care!” Wooyoung erupted, flinging his hands upward, despite his muscles screeching in agony. “It’s not about me anymore. I left her on that ship… and I have to get her back. Please, Yeosang. Please.”
There was a beat of tense silence. Yeosang was no longer looking at the pleading injured man, but his head angled towards the window, gazing at the pale moon that decorated the night’s horizon in deep thought.
“You mustn’t tell anyone,” the blonde elf warned, narrowing his eyes. Wooyoung nodded vehemently. “Elves and pirates don’t mesh well together, I’m sure you know. Pirates are nowhere to be found in this country, they know well enough to steer clear of our waters. However… if you head westward past our nation’s border, you’ll find yourself in Cinisia. It might look like a small, harmless country, but I’m afraid you’d be gravely mistaken. Cinisia is perhaps the most dangerous country on the maps. Along their west coast, there’s an illegal trading market. Pirates swarm the coast like ants would spilt honey. If you’re looking for pirates, I’d bet all my silvers they’re there.”
Wooyoung took a moment to contemplate this. “How do you know of this market?”
“I’ve got into muddy territory with pirates myself,” he uttered with a stormy expression. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I have said this before. Elves and pirates? Not the best of friends, I can tell you that.”
Releasing a shuddering sigh, Wooyoung asked one final question. “Do you think I’ll find them? Do you think I’ll get Y/N back?”
Yeosang leveled a cold gaze with the dark-haired man, before gracefully rising to his feet and striding towards the door. “I’ll get you a map and traveling clothes and rations. You can leave at first light, so get some sleep. You’ll be needing it.”
A sinking feeling weighed heavily in Wooyoung’s stomach. He hadn’t answered the question.
Right before he left, Yeosang paused by the arched doorway and spoke once more without even turning to look at him. “And just so you know… if you make it out of that market alive and empty handed… I want you back here in Nymaeden. There’s something I want to offer you.”
The elf left in a blur of sage fabrics and soft flaxen locks. The honeyed flames of the candles withered inwards with his departure, faint tails of smoke dissipated into the air. The room faded into darkness, but Wooyoung was far too afraid to shut his eyes.
He was scared of dreaming of you.
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That morning was one of the toughest he’s ever had. Yeosang had handed him a pack of traveling rations and equipment, bidding him adieu with a stout nod of his angular face. His muscles groaned and screamed with agony with his every step. The trek to Cinisia took hours upon hours, with hardly a break. Wooyoung was far too jittery to stop. He had to keep going. Creeks babbled with glowing water and the trees whispered poems in the wind, their alluring shadows offering a tempting sanctuary.
The contrast between Nymaeden and Cinisia was startling. Whilst the former was a luscious country of opals and forestry and pale elegant fortresses climbing to the sky, the latter was… well, it was quite hard to tell what anything looked like past the thick red smog lacing the horizon. The air stank of ale and smoke.
Definitely pirate territory, Wooyoung surmised grimly.
The shrill noises of whistling and hollering was a telltale sign that he was close. Wooyoung stepped over weather-beaten rocks, peering around the rocky cliff ledge to see hundreds, perhaps even thousands of ruffians gathered together in a colorful flurry of stolen fabrics, foods, and riches that seemed all the more glorious under the sweltering sun. Now, it smelled strongly of stale fruitcakes and gunpowder and sweat. Not the best of aromas, that was for sure. There were also pirates yelling out indiscernible prices that seemed to climb with every shout. He was pretty sure he saw a couple of them scuffling in a fight, some landing a couple square punches (most missed because they seemed to be too drunk to aim properly) on the nose before brushing their injuries off as if it were nothing.
What an awful place. Wooyoung could only hope you weren’t here. Well, no, that was a blatant lie. He’d do anything to see you again.
After digging his knuckles into his eye sockets to wipe his weariness away, he blinked the colored spots away from his vision with a melancholic sigh. Gods, he was tired. Unfortunately, he had little time to lament, so he pushed himself onwards.
Wooyoung seemed to blend in just perfectly; he was thankful Yeosang decided to pack in a tattered cloak. The rest of the pirates didn’t seem to bat an eye. Standing in the middle of a throng of filthy seamen, it was hard for Wooyoung not to double over and retch. His roiling stomach didn’t aid his precarious state one bit.
Though everything seemed to be a cacophony of rowdy pirates and the clattering of illegal trade, Wooyoung picked up on a particular chunk of dialogue exchanged between a gaggle of men.
“Have you heard of the siren incident? Yeah, it happened near the Isles of Odralle! Can you believe? Ship was fuckin’ headed to the capital of Odralle, but they had a sudden change of plans; suddenly wanted to go to Aurecia. Cocky bastards think they can sell anything to anyone nowadays, yeah? Good thing the sirens took them. Wonder if they were tasty, though. Stupidity fouls the meat, my father used to say,” one of the pirates rambled as he slurped on his ale.
“Your father was a jackass,” another snorted, pounding on his chest with laughter. “What the fuck is a ‘siren incident’? I swear you lot gossip ten times more than me wife does.”
A third pirate shoved at his shoulder, a look of incredulity painting across his tanned features. “How have you not heard? A famous pirate ship - maybe one of the most famous ones in history - got lured into siren territory! The whole crew’s gone. Ship wreckage hasn’t been found. Nobody’s heard or seen them at all. My guess is that they made a calculation mistake and went off navigation charts once switching from Odralle to Aurecia. Then the sirens… got the best of ‘em.”
This elicited a gasp from the fourth in the group. “Wait! The big ship with the peg-leg captain with just one eye? Damn, just hearing stories about him gives me the creeps. Legend had it that he defeated not one, but two fuckin’ krakens during a storm! His ship flag is, er, the red and gold one… with a skull, right? And the skull’s laying in blood and swords?”
Wooyoung felt his blood run cold.
He knew that flag. The flag they were describing… was exactly the one he saw before they took you… before they threw him out for the sharks…
And before Wooyoung could even think it through, he found his body jerking forward, pushing past the bystanders and throwing himself into the gossip circle with all but a mangled growl escaping his throat. He yanked the last pirate to speak forward by the collar until the tanned man’s face was so close, his nose brushed against Wooyoung’s. The rest of the gang immediately quelled their incessant yammering, eyes growing wide in interest. Some placed their hands onto the hilts of their curved swords as a precaution, but they didn’t want to do anything hasty. After all, they loved a good fight.
“WHEN WAS THIS?” Wooyoung was glad his voice didn’t crack as he yelled, shaking the stricken pirate by the collar. “There was… there was a woman on that boat. She can’t be gone! She can’t be dead!”
They all looked at him as if he were crazy.
And after a second longer, Wooyoung’s grip loosened. It seemed he was a little rougher than first anticipated, because the fabric around the tanned pirate’s neck was crumpled and one of the pearly buttons came loose, dangling by a thin thread. He staggered backwards two steps, painfully sucking in lungfuls of rancid air.
Were you… were you gone? Was that it? Had you succumbed to the siren’s sweet song of death?
“Mate,” the tanned pirate spoke up with a lilt of sympathy in his tone. “There was never any woman on that ship. And besides, the ship hasn’t actually been found yet.”
The fire of hope that once burned brightly within the hearth of Wooyoung’s chest, was now but a dying ember. However, the man’s words gently blew on the warm ash until a new flame ignited. This was a different kind of hope. Who knows, maybe you had managed to escape the sirens. For all that was good on this planet, Wooyoung hoped you were still alive.
It was then that the most peculiar thing happened.
A man (if he could even be considered a man) - perhaps one of the ethereal beings he’s ever set his eyes upon - strode up to the circle of pirates, leveling his stormy gaze with Wooyoung. His hair was a shocking shade of pink, laying in loose strands across his forehead. A dirtied tunic hung over his shoulders in tatters, ripped and frayed in too many places to count. The belt that cinched around his waist was lopsided and unbuckled, dangling to the floor. The trousers he was wearing, a dusted shade of raven’s wing, was in the same state of disarray as his tunic. He was a mess, and Wooyoung could see a thick film of distraught glazing his eyes.
“My name is San,” he rasped. “And I was on that pirate ship.”
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The marble was cold beneath your scraped knees. Your eyes studied the golden rivets decorating the pale white floor, splintering off into branches of aureate, though it was quite difficult to see through the bruises and unyielding blood obscuring your vision. If your hands weren’t bound behind your back, you would’ve at least tried to staunch the crimson seeping out of the fresh cut you sported across your temple. The guards had thrown kicks and punches everywhere they could reach until you had stopped struggling, every fibre of your being felt nothing but raw pain and the kind of anger that left you completely and utterly exhausted.
You just… you wanted it to all be over.
However, with the King and Queen sitting tall and proud just meters in front of you, you highly doubted things would be resolved at the snap of a finger. Beside their majesties sat the rest of the royal bloodline, dainty crowns of lustrous tawny and glinting silvers resting upon their regal heads.
They made you sick.
“I must say,” the Queen purred at last, placing her chin on her palm while gazing at you with a malevolent smile, irises of amethysts glinting in the cold light. “It’s impressive how you managed to escape the dungeons in your condition. Even got yourself a pretty little boat and everything.”
You could feel yourself blanching. How did she know about the pirate ship you left by the beaches?
“As I’m sure you’re aware by now, Y/N is only but a legend. Though nobody truly believes you’re real, you are still very much respected throughout the nation. And since you’re regarded so highly amongst the common folk,” the King rumbled, clasping his hands together with a smug leer tracing his lips. “You’ll be made a lowly servant for the lovely Princess, Amarelia.” He gestured further down the line, to a sweet young girl barely of age. The Princess was a frail thing, with skin of dove’s wings and lips of sweet peaches and lashes that kissed the apples of her cheeks. She somewhat resembled a fawn, what with her large eyes and innocently placant features. Her curled sienna locks were gathered into an elegant updo, showcasing the glimmering silver laces on her dainty neck.
The very ones that you tried to steal so long ago, and the entire reason you were even here. That necklace was what made you a well-known myth in Cerulea.
Anger broiled deep within you, but you kept your mouth clamped shut. There were guards ready to strike if you moved even a centimeter, and you decided to play it safe for now.
There was something you were practically dying to ask, though.
What did you do to Yunho?
“To welcome you into servitude,” the Queen surveyed you with hooded eyes. “Crawl to Amarelia and kiss her shoes. Thank us for not having you executed on the spot. Perhaps it shall give you an idea of your rank in this castle. You are nothing to us.”
“Mother!” The Princess gasped in protest with something akin to pity and horror melding into her soft complexion. It was clear that the sweet dove wanted nothing to do with this. In a way, you felt sorry for her as well.
Nobody paid her any mind.
With a heavy heart, you started shuffling towards the Princess. Pain and humiliation blossomed across your skin like flames crawling over oiled wood. A part of you considered standing your ground, lifting your head high, refusing to obey any of her commands. And you would’ve, truly. But… Yunho. If there was even the slightest chance he was alive and kept hostage because of you, you needed to remain on your best behavior. For his sake and even perhaps for your own.
Once in front of her, you dipped your head to quickly brush your lips against her fine cream flats, immediately straightening your spine with a grimace afterwards. Amarelia regarded you with a sympathetic look.
The guards stepped forward to roughly drag you back to your original spot. Your mind barely registered the cold sensation of metal clamping around your neck, the rattling of chains a ghostly echo in your ears. The Queen was grinning so widely it was a wonder her face didn’t split in half. It took everything you had in you not to spit onto the floor in defiance.
When they started tugging you towards the grand double doors, you realized that you couldn’t just sit around and allow them to throw you around like a ragdoll. You kicked out your feet in resistance, ignoring the cinching pain of the metal around your neck, boots thudding against the smooth marble surface. The guards swore under their breath, pulling you along ever harder.
“WHERE’S YUNHO?” Your hoarse voice ripped across the throne room. “DID YOU KILL HIM? DID YOU KILL YUNHO?! LET GO OF ME! YOU MURDERER!” The small quirk of the Queen’s perfect eyebrows had you spouting out obscenities, rage bubbling over your struggling form.
Double-doors swung open, and with that action brought the largest crowd you’ve ever seen in your life. There must’ve been thousands - no, hundreds of thousands of people out there. And they’ve all come for you. The myth and the legend. Y/N L/N.
It was all so sudden. You didn’t even remember how you got to the front of the highrise platform, being forced back onto your knees with a grunt. There were common folk and wealthy lords alike littered about the ocean of heads. Some looked to be terrified, others watching on with hanging lips of awe.
You swallowed heavily.
“Behold!” The King bellowed from somewhere behind you. There was a sneering lilt to his tone that made you want to spring upwards and knock his teeth out. “Your beloved Y/N!”
The crowd in front of you erupted into pandemonium. It was a strange and overwhelming cacophony of displeased boos and excited screams.
“A legend and a hero to some of you, I’m sure,” the Queen hummed, somehow instantaneously quieting the buzzing mass of people. “Now diminished to a mere servant. Y/N L/N is nothing, and acting like they are worth any bit more than scum will lead to treason. I’m truly sorry to disappoint some of you.”
She didn’t seem sorry at all. The crowd practically roared at that, most especially the commoners at the back, yelling curses until their throats were raw as they threw moldy apple cores at the guards.
You hung your head in shame, gaze trained to the wood slants of the stage. Hushed murmurs travelled about the rest of the crowd like waves gently crashing against shore. You were alone on this beach, it seemed.
Truly, utterly alone.
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You must’ve had the worst luck in the world.
No matter how much you’ve fought, struggled, resisted, it always ended up the same. With you kept captive. That musty jail cell because of a damned necklace, then bound on the pirate ship to be sold off in Aurecia (a part of your heart sunk at the memory of the friendly fairy-pirate San jumping overboard)… and now a different cell, your wrists chained to the cobbled wall behind you. Your arms were sore yet numb, almost having lost any feeling in them, but that was the least of your concerns.
It was bright here, unlike your first cell. Back then it was always dark, and always cold. There was a crackling fire across the room, licking hungrily at the burning wood, casting amber phantoms across the expanse of your place of confinement. It wouldn’t be long until the fire died out and you’d be shivering once more. There was also a small window, but it was far away from your reach, and you wouldn’t even bother to try, considering your arms were laced above your head.
Being back in the castle had your mind racing. Everything had been so loud outside. But now that you were alone with only your own thoughts to accompany you, it almost felt suffocatingly quiet. The silence was deafening, roaring awful things into your ears.
You missed Wooyoung. What would he do in your position? You hoped he wasn’t here, truly. He deserved to be happy elsewhere. But you couldn’t deny that a small part of you wished he was back here with you.
Face it, he’s not coming to save you, the snarky voice in your head spat out. Nobody is. You’re on your own. You have to save yourself.
It was at that moment the door creaked open. A man with silver hair slid in, grimness splayed across his defined features, like the wiry shadows of tree branches marring the warm light of the room. You spotted the medical kit he clutched in his sure hands.
He was the royal healer. It somewhat surprised you that the King and Queen sent him. Perhaps it was Princess Amarelia’s doing; she seemed to have a pure enough heart. Her parents, on the other hand…
“Are you alright?” His voice was a soft thing, a mere whisper, almost lost to the loud snapping of the fireplace. Hesitance was evident in his tone, accompanied with stinging sympathy. “I apologize, that was a foolish question. Of course you’re not, that’s why I’m here. My name is Seonghwa, I’m the royal healer for this castle. May I?” He brandished a bottle of strange blue ointment and cotton patches. You had just been humiliated and degraded in front of thousands of people, and now a royal healer was apologizing to you? He was certainly giving you whiplash.
After pausing for the slightest of moments, you dipped your head just slightly, still waiting for something bad to happen.
“Sarcio essence,” Seonghwa murmured gently as he doused the patch with the blue liquid. “Ceruleans steal it from the elves of Nymaeden. Its healing abilities are unlike anything we’ve ever seen. Ever since magic, of course. But that’s a thing of the past now. Magic is illegal in Cerulea. Not sure if you heard while you were down there in your cell.”
That made a frown flicker across your face. Cerulea, the ever-perfect country, needing to steal things from other kingdoms?
And with another stout nod, Seonghwa leaned forward to swipe at your fresh wounds and bruises, cleaning away the dried blood with nimble movements. It stung at first, restrained hisses escaping your lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. It felt like your skin was burning, and everything was on fire and the silent monsters were screaming your name.
“It’s a good thing if it stings a little. That’s your body working to put itself together.”
It was silent for a long time. You had to clamp your teeth down on your bottom lip so as to not let him hear your pathetic winces of pain.
The healer seemed to notice this, brows furrowing. “You don’t have to try to be strong around me, Y/N. You’re hurting, and it’s okay to show that. I won’t think any less of you.”
You eyed him with somewhat of a dubious aura, before bobbing your head for the last time. “Thank you,” you muttered brokenly.
Seonghwa hummed softly in response, screwing the cap back onto the sarcio essence.
The familiar creak of the door swinging open floated across the rooms, and you snapped your head upwards. Even the healer appeared to be surprised, bowing his head low at the newcomers. Also known as, if you had to put it eloquently, the true and utter banes of your existence. If you were the single flickering candle, they would be the tornados constantly whispering your flame good night.
It was the King and the Queen, draped in a waterfall of golden lace, diaphanous silver silks, and striking tones of mauve matching the hue of their angry irises. They held their heads high, looking at you as if you were the shit stuck on the bottom of their fine shoes.
“Leave us,” the Queen commanded Seonghwa without even glancing in the direction of the medic. She kept her gaze trained on you, and only you. Silently, he left the room with not another word, shuffling out of the door, unable to spare you one last sympathetic glimpse.
After surveying you, the Queen graced you with what seemed to be a smirk, and beckoned towards the guards behind her.
“Bring him in,” she said, practically dripping with delighted malice.
What happened next had you choking on your own gasps, tears immediately rimming your eyes like frost sitting atop tree branches on a harsh wintry morning. It had your stomach curling into itself, nausea climbing up your throat, begging to escape. A scream, so disgustingly raw and broken that it didn’t sound like your own voice echoed throughout the room.
They threw a peach-haired man in front of you, and he crumpled to the ground as if he were nothing more than a stringless puppet. If you thought that you were hurt, it was absolutely nothing in comparison to the sweet baker that you were so very fond of. He looked to be half dead already, bruises mapping the expanse of his pallid skin as abundant as there were stars in the sky. His once-bright pink strands of hair now looked a sullen grey, as if all the life had been seeped out of him. Dried blood crusted his cuts and gashes, littered all over his shivering form. You swore, with every fiber of your being, you were going to kill whoever hurt him.
“YUNHO!” You cried, heart lodged in your throat. The soft giant who had once been so boisterous, laid unmoving on the cobblestone floor. Kicking against the wall, you yanked away at your manacles fruitlessly until your wrists grew raw, wanting nothing more than to fall to your knees and crawl to him and ask if he was alright. It didn’t matter that you were hurting yourself in the process, you just… you wanted to get out of these chains, out of here, away from everything.
How dare they?
Tears were rolling down the apples of your cheeks, conjoining at your jaw and dripping mercilessly onto the ground. A constant drip, drip, drip of your pain made loud and clear to everybody else in the room.
You were so furious, so heartbroken, that you had forgotten anybody else existed for a short second. It was a shame that you were only reminded when one of the guards stalked up with the King’s nod of approval, gripping Yunho by his faded locks and yanking him upwards. His face didn’t seem to even flinch, numb and desensitized.
Was Yunho gone? No… no, he couldn’t possibly be…
A confusing concoction of sobs and desperate pleas and hiccups tumbled past your lips far too quickly for even you to understand yourself
The events that transpired rushed by in an indecipherable blur. You could barely pick up what the Queen murmured.
“This beloved baker friend of yours…” she cocked her head to the side in mock-thought, purple eyes flashing dangerously. “He is strong, I’ll give you that. However, he seems quite adamant not to give us any information about the other prisoner, Wooyoung. They were childhood best friends, no? I’m sure you remember him, don’t you?”
Your heart stopped at the sound of his name.
How dare you? How dare you? How dare you? The mantra reverberated in your skull until it was all you could think, staining your mind with an inky, poisonous black.
The mocking sympathy evident in her tone had you thrashing against your bonds all the more. “And alas… I’m afraid we no longer have any use for him.”
Just like that, the guard holding Yunho upwards drove his longsword clean through the gentle baker’s abdomen, dropping him to the floor. An ungodly wail tore from your vocal chords, resonating across the room and painting wicked smiles across the two royal leaders of Cerulea. Much to your horror, Yunho uttered no sound, merely dropping onto the stone with a thud. Crimson pooled at his wound so quickly, that the rose-hued ichor grazed against your feet in a matter of seconds. You stopped struggling, the drumming of your heart loud in your ears.
Since your gaze hadn’t left Yunho’s unmoving body, you didn’t even noticed the Queen sidestepping the puddle of blood, forcing your eyes away by gripping your slick face with one of her cold hands. You tried to pull your cheeks away, but it was as if her fingers were steel. Her purple eyes were so close to yours, you could see the flecks of aureate gold embedded within the enticing lilac. The Queen flashed you a charming smile, as if she hadn’t just murdered your friend in cold blood. It seemed she noticed your pounding heart rate, because she murmured an incantation in old Cerulean that you couldn’t quite pick up. In an instant, you could feel yourself relaxing in her grip, wrists going slack in the cuffs, the muscle in your chest thumping slower and slower. A part of you was afraid it would grind to a stop.
Her pearly whites flashed as she grinned evilly. The lavender in her eyes darkened drastically, to the point where any trace of gold disappeared completely.
“We didn’t kill Yunho,” she leaned closer and whispered into your ear, her tawny locks tickling the side of your face. “Killing is barbaric.”
There was an old story of a gingerbread man and a fox crossing a river you often heard retellings of during your childhood. The fox swore up and down that he wouldn’t eat the gingerbread man whilst helping him cross the river. As suspicious as the gingerbread man was at first, he eventually climbed onto the sly fox’s back, naive with hope. The fox arrived at the other side of the river alone and with a full stomach.
It seemed you were the foolish gingerbread man and the Queen was the fox. The Queen’s magic seeped into your being, clouding your mind in a dangerous haze you could no longer fight.
You believed her.
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taentedmess · 3 years
Text
sleepless nights
summary: a year is a long time, isn’t it? you’ve spent yours stuck in an eternal, monochrome winter. a surprise encounter derails all of your plans: feelings fade… or do they, really?
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pairing: taehyung x reader
word count: 5.4k
warnings: swearing, terrible terrible angst (im sorry!), heartbreak, implied smut, angsty flashbacks :(
a/n: hi everyone! this is my very first fic on tumblr and i really hope you enjoy! please listen to spring day and scenery to really get into the feels - i hope you lose yourself in this little slice of a seoul winter :’) also i do have a storyline planned if you enjoy this little piece and could potentially even make this a series aah! please leave comments and constructive criticism - i’d love to grow as a writer! (@chateautae i finally did it!!!!!!)
[    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙      ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙    ]
09:17am, december 17, 2020
It’s been a year since you last saw him. A year of emptiness, hollowness, blankness. A year since you turned your back, leaving without a goodbye. It’s been a year since you’ve walked out his front door, the same one that you’d find yourself visiting and revisiting when you knew he wasn’t home.
It’s been a year since you last felt some semblance of happiness, a year since you’ve let out a genuine laugh, smiled from cheek-to-cheek. It’s been a year devoid of warmth: you shivered under the embrace of the summer sun, no longer noticed the blooming flowers that you had once loved so much. The world lost all its color. Fading into a bleak grayscale so far away, unreachable. No longer did you walk with a spring in your step, no longer did your eyes glimmer with galaxies that you’d once built with him. You were empty, a ship lost in the depths of the dark oceans. Floating, barely surviving, with no set destination. All you saw were never-ending, infinite oceans in all directions. No escape, no lighthouse. Just you. Alone. Pointless.
Your heart aches for him, the echo of a honeyed baritone, the ghost of his warm, muscular arms wrapped around your shoulders.
It’s for the best, you had thought. It’s for the best.
You squeeze your eyes shut, willing the thoughts out of your mind. There was too much, too many feelings, pent-up emotions. You weren’t a woman of emotions, never were, swore to never be, until you had met him. And he had changed everything.
Stop. This is getting ridiculous.
You needed to get on with your life, you think. There are too many things to think about, so many better thoughts requiring your attention. What were you doing, wasting your energy on him? It was time, you had decided, to end things once and for all.
The ticket machine snaps you out of your reverie, demanding it get paid. How much did the trip cost? You’ve forced yourself to forget, holed up all the memories too far into the shadows of your mind in your sheer desperation to evade the pain. You slot in a W10,000 bill, way too much, but better than having to remember. The machine happily eats up the cash, returning your card and sending you on your way.
You navigate the platforms, seeing the brightly-lit signs: Incheon line, Suin line, Bundang line. Then you see it, Platform 6, Gyeongwon line. South-bound to Soyosan, stopping at Iryeong. Your heart thumps, stomach twists, and you feel like throwing up. How many times had you once ascended these very steps with him, hand-in-hand, smiling to one another? How many times had you raced up these stairs, trying to get to the platform first? It’s too much, and you want to run. Run away from this place, from the thoughts and feelings.
No. You need this.
The winter air roughly brushes against your cheeks, hurrying you along.
What are you so afraid of?
Everything, you think. Everything. You’ve bound your heart in chains and locks, plastered it with thousands of bandages, one on top of the other. You’ve holed it away, willed it out of existence. You’re afraid of the memories, the emotions. You’re afraid of yourself.
Go. Just go. Get it over with.
You force your feet to move, one after another. You don’t think, you just move. Move onto the platform, move onto the train. You don’t realize that you’ve boarded the machine until you hear an all-too-familiar voice on the loudspeaker.
“This is the Special Rapid Train, on the Gyeongwon line, headed for Sosoyan. We will be stopping at Seokgye, Wolgye, Dobong and Iryeong. Please stay clear of the sliding doors!”
You vaguely see the blinking of lights and hear the shutting of the doors. The train picks up speed, clicking against the railroads. You are blank, a passenger on an endless journey. You sway when the train sways, stop when it stops. You don’t know how many stops have passed, having lost yourself in the familiar nothingness that had hollowed you out for the past year, until the speakers announce something about the next station being Dobong. You’re near, you realize. Too near.
Too soon does the train halt, birthing out and collecting new passengers as seats empty and taken once more in a matter of seconds. You watch this interchange with a bitter smile: how quickly he must have replaced you after you’d left, how he must’ve taken in another in your place.
Stop it.
Too engrossed in your thoughts, you don’t notice the closing of the doors and the blinking of the lights until you hear the loud system once more as the train starts to accelerate.
“Iryeong, Iryeong. Our next stop is Iryeong, please get off on the right side of the train.”
You are left suddenly hyper aware of your surroundings, watching as snow paints the ground white. The houses blur into trees and back into villages as you stare out the window, and you start to remember. You remember your hands intertwined, dancing in the snow, the click of a camera as the melodies of your laughs twirling in the air. You remember the snugness of his embrace, his earthy cologne, his smile, his lips pressed against yours…
Stop.
You tear your gaze away from the glass, staring down at your gloved hands fiddling in your lap. It’s been a year. It’s laughable how much and how little has changed. You’re different, yes, but yet so painfully similar to the girl who ran away. It’s funny how much of a difference, or lack thereof, a year can make, you think. It’s certainly been hard on you, and you find yourself wondering about him, about how maybe the year has changed him, how he’s doing, if he’s eating well, if…
Stop.
You’re hopeless, aren’t you?
You sigh and shut your eyes. You’re going crazy. Or maybe you’ve always been crazy. Your thoughts are feverish, a maelstrom in your mind. Involuntarily, you notice your feet rapidly tapping the metal bar to your side, vibrating against the pole. You feel the ghost of a touch on your thigh, hear the empty shell of his words, breathe, Y/N, breathe. What’s got you all worked up? And for a moment, just a moment, you feel his presence to your side, capture the warmth radiating off of his figure, and smile. Because it’s all okay when he’s here.
But he’s not.
You decide to focus on the sound of the railroads, staring down at the speckled floor of the train as the carriage undulates gently, side to side. You ride along, the train’s movements easing your own and you begin to lose yourself once again in the clacks of the rails, mind going blank, until you start to notice the slowing of the sounds. The train’s dance comes to a slow, inviting people to start getting up and shuffle towards the doors. Your heart sinks to your stomach. Not yet, not yet. It can’t be. It’s too soon.
The loudspeaker crackles to life, confirming your worst fears. “Arriving at Iryeong, please stay clear of the doors and exit on the right side of the train.”
Your legs move on their own accord, pulling you to a standing position as you grip the metal post with your life. The train continues to slow, eventually, painstakingly coming to a halt. You wish it never will, that it will continue on with its journey ahead. But it’s too late. The doors slide open, the sounds of the outside world whistle for you, calling you, urging you out of the comfort of the train. You don’t dare move, standing still as passengers trickle out, as the flashing lights start to appear, as the minute at the station starts to come to an end. The doors are closing in five. Four.
You twitch.
Three. Two.
“Wait!”
You rush out the doors, barely escaping the iron clasp of the metals that would’ve devoured you had you been a second too late. Behind you, the steel hisses as the vehicle exits the station, leaving you alone. So utterly alone.
You’re blessed with a moment of solitude, feeling nothing but the cold air chilling your face, until you realize where you are and why you’re here.
The bliss of being alone rapidly evaporates, and you’re hit with a speeding truck. The memories flood in; you’re winded, gasping for breath as you’re stormed with images, short clips of him, you, the pair of you. His smile, his laugh, his cheeks, eyes, nose. His breath tickling yours before he leans in for a kiss, his gentle, large hands cupping your face as you close your eyes…
Stop. Get a fucking grip, will you?
You force the color out of your mind as you make your way around the platform, empty now that everyone has gone. Your eyes graze against the pathetic, run-down station: the signs are only partially lit, the electricity having worn out. Your fingers run against the peeling, dirtied paint of the walls, dust bunnies catching onto your gloves. You scoff. This is pathetic. The floor is littered with plastics and old soda bottles, as if nobody’s been here to clean in too long. Graffiti smiles sadly back at you as you scan the fading walls, losing their life by the second. The bricks have faded into a musty brown, drab and uninteresting. Everything is so run down, so tired. You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you make your way to the minimart to your right, wanting a beverage to help warm your insides up.
The doors slide open with a gentle clink, altering the store of your presence. The cashier at the counter looks up at you through half-lidded eyes, barely acknowledging you, before returning to the drama playing on his cracked phone. The shelves are well-stocked, however, in stark contrast to the beaten-down appearance of this whole ordeal. You glide along the aisles, and everything is the same. Your favorite tea is still on the same shelf as it was all those months ago, his favorite gimbap in the bottom left corner of the chiller. Beef and sesame, he’d get, while you’d get a tuna for yourself, clinking your drinks and hearing the hiss of his cola opening, laughing as you made a mess of yourselves, two young fools madly in love. You’d talk, drink, eat for hours, whispering, dreaming and wishing, wondering what was going to come in the future, what you’d name your first puppy, whether you wanted a girl or a boy for your first child. Never would you have ever imagined that it would all end this way.
Stop it.
You grab your bottle of tea violently, almost knocking it over in your hurry to leave. You could no longer stay, not here, suffocating in your memories of him. You erased the gimbap out of your vision, ignoring it as you made your way to the counter, paying for your drink as the half-hearted employee handed you with your change. You mutter a thank you, unsure if he had even heard, and mindlessly make your way out of the store, too focused on keeping someone out of your head. You nearly bang into the glass doors in your haste, looking down and walking as fast as you can. Until your heart stops, that is.
You don’t dare look up, not now. The whole world slows to a stand-still, your gaze sharpening on nothing. Your heart is about to beat out of your chest, your lungs stop working. Electricity charges through the air and you’re left reeling, not knowing what to do.
Slowly, painfully, your neck raises, muscles straining with all their might. You already know what you’re going to see, who you’re going to see, but the sight of him still shocks you all the same. You nearly spill your drink all over yourself when you finally look up, and your brain goes into overdrive. You’re sure that your mouth is hanging open, jaw slack, but you can’t do anything about it. Your knees buckle, you can’t breathe, suffocating, wanting the ground to swallow you up at this very moment. You want to fall, tumble into an eternal tunnel. You are dizzy, light-headed, going crazy, you swear. You’re going crazy, aren’t you? This can’t be real, can it?
You can’t believe it. You’re drowning, drowning in those chocolate eyes, sinking into his pupils, losing yourself in his gorgeous features. You drink him all in, his own face mirroring yours, in no doubt absolute shock or maybe even despair, his deadly stare making your breath hitch as it once did so long ago. He’d never lost his power over you, after all. The world is suspended around you, all operations ceased as you both continue to stare into each other’s eyes, the tension so palpable that it threatens to devour you whole. Your larynx seems to be glued shut, your tongue a stone in your mouth. There are no words, no way to express this feeling that washes over you upon seeing him again.
“Y/N…”
His voice. Your ears ring with his deep baritone, honey to your ears. You can’t help it: you quite literally swoon, despite the circumstances. His voice: it ignites a fire within you, warm tendrils of heat rising up from your stomach. Vibrations send throughout your core, making you lightheaded and sure that you’re about to fall. You remember his timber next to you in the dead of light, comforting you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, it’s okay, it’s okay, breathe, it’s okay, you’re here with me.
You hug your arms around yourself, trying to keep it all in, retain the strange feeling that was now foreign to you after months of cold. It’s been too long, after all - you’ve gone too long deprived of this humanness, comfort that radiated off of him.
Things are different now, Y/N.
Yes, they are. Your mind goes berserk once more, considering all of the scenarios. Why is he here? He probably just needs to go to the minimart - no, why would he come all this way, he lives pretty far as well, or maybe he’s waiting on a friend, no, maybe he’s brought a new girlfriend, maybe she’s with him right now waiting to jump out of the shadows. Maybe they’re both exchanging looks right now when I’m not looking, laughing, taunting me, this girl from the past who doesn’t deserve to be here, maybe they all think I’m a joke now, what am I doing, why, why, why?
You’re so lost in your thoughts that when Taehyung addresses you once more, you’re violently jolted out of your mind and nearly fall backwards, body forgetting everything but the sound of his voice.
“Y/N…” he says again, forcing you to look up at him. Your name splinters through the air from his lips, cutting through the frost and straight into your chest; you notice now that his voice seems tired, that he seems tired.
You finally regain some semblance of control over your frozen tongue, lips moving in an attempt to emit a sound, any sound. Your lips wrap around the sole syllable that comes to you like muscle memory, the only one that you manage to choke out.
“T-Tae…”
Your voice cracks, unable to continue. The prolonged eye-contact has got you weak, his pupils boring into your soul. You look into his eyes, reciprocating, and you notice that maybe they’ve lost their golden sheen, that they no longer twinkle with constellations of stars. And it’s then that you realize: maybe the year has taken a toll on him too.
Look at what you’ve done to him.
“T-Tae, I, I, I…” you sputter out, guilt flooding your system like a drug. There was nothing you could say, nothing you could tell him to cheat yourself out of the situation or paint yourself in a better light like you’re so used to doing. You’re not used to feeling this powerless, this weak. Taehyung was the only one who saw through the facade, the only one who allowed you to feel vulnerable. You couldn’t lie to him, you knew you couldn’t; there was no wheedling, no bullshitting, no lying yourself out of any sticky situation, which had caused you this whole trouble in the first place. You ran because you were too much of a coward to talk to him, to confide in him. And look where that’s gotten you.
“Why are you here?” he asks, burying his head in his hands. “Y/N, why are you here?”
Why am I here? You don’t really know as well, there’s nothing that you can say to him. Why am I here? To get over him? How are you even going to tell him? He has to think that you’re over him, that it’s done. Stop torturing yourself, and stop dragging him through this mess of your life. Tell him that it’s done.
“I… I came because…”
Y/N, say something?
“I came because I… I was looking for you.”
What the fuck?
His head snaps up, his piercing stare catching your gaze once again. “You were looking for me?”
You feel your heart stop.
“Umm… well, I mean, no, but, no, well actually if I think about it now, yeah, yeah I was looking for you,” you stammer, unable to produce a single cohesive line of thought. “I was looking for you because I wanted to tell you that it’s over.”
Your own words are like a dagger twisting into your own heart and vaguely hear a choked sound breaking the awful, awful silence. Until you realize that it’s come from your own mouth, a sob that you hadn’t even realized that you were holding in.
A moment of charged silence goes by, yet louder than any noise that either of you could’ve let out. Never in your life has silence felt so utterly deafening, and you wish to cover your ears and scream it all out.
“You’re telling me this now?” Taehyung manages, features distorted in pain. “You’re telling me this now, a whole fucking year after you walk out the door without a single word to me?”
You look down at the ground, hating, blaming your traitorous mouth for saying something that you hadn’t fully thought through.
No, Y/N. You have to stop bringing everyone down.
You’ve lost all rational thought when you say, “yes, Taehyung. Yes. I had nothing to say to you then and nothing to say to you now. It’s done and it’s over.”
You couldn’t even say sorry?
The frosty wind brushes over the pair of you, causing you to shiver in your boots. You want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and disappear, pretend that this never happened, that this was all a bad dream.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see a security guard watching the whole exchanged with piqued interest. It’s none of your fucking business, you want to scream. It’s none of your fucking business. And yet you’re so humiliated, embarrassed at this whole mess that you’ve made of not only yourself but the situation in its entirety that you cannot muster up any words to merely defend yourself. You want to cry, sob, yell, scream.
“Fine, Y/N, it’s okay. You know what? It’s okay, you don’t owe me an explanation, you don’t owe me anything, not an apology, not a reason, not your love. It’s okay. It’s fine. Maybe you never loved me, saw me in the same way. Maybe I just assumed, maybe it was wrong of me to assume. Maybe I was too optimistic, too in love with you that I had forced myself to believe the story that I had made up in my head, that you were in love with me too. Maybe I had wanted it, wanted you so bad that I had made myself believe it. Made myself believe that you were in love with me.”
Your heart instinctually reaches out to him, drumming feverishly against your fragile ribcage. No, you want to scream. No, Taehyung, you couldn’t be more fucking wrong. He doesn’t know the way your heart beats for him in the dead of night, how the mere thought of him sends shivers down your spine, how every cell in your body, every thread of your being aches, yearns for his presence with every hour, every minute, every second.
You feel your heart breaking, splintering into thousands, millions of tiny little fragments raining down like shards of glass. It hurts, it hurts like hell.
“It’s okay, Y/N. Don’t force yourself into anything. There’s no need to anymore. There’s no more need to lie, no more need to pretend that you’re happy.”
“Thank you for telling me the truth.”
It’s not the truth, you want to cry. It’s not. It’s the farthest from it. But you return his look, tight-lipped. You nod, despite the swell of emotions that are threatening to cut you in half at this very moment.
“You’re welcome.”
He reciprocates your nod and slowly, painfully, tears his eyes from yours. He stands up, gingerly, as if hesitating, and you want to tell him to stop, to sit back down, that you’re lying to him, that you want him, that you want him more than anything in this world. But you don’t, and he continues onto his feet, sparing you one last gaze.
“At least I get to say goodbye,” he says, wistfully. “At least I now have the chance to say goodbye.”
You’re sure that tears are streaming down your face at this point, little trails of ice making their way down your blushed cheeks. Your lips are tight, and you cannot, for the life of you, return his look.
Before you can fully comprehend what’s happening, you know he’s here, the familiar hold of his arms, your face finding itself nestled on the same spot on his chest, right above his heart. You feel it beat, gently, slowly, under your ear, a comforting rhythm that you’ve too often fallen asleep to, whispered to. Your arms instinctually wrap around his waist, and his head settles on the crook of your neck, the curve of his nose gently kissing your delicate skin. His warmth radiates from under his coat, and you soak it all in, collecting as much as you can. You are two puzzle pieces, a perfect fit, and you will this moment into eternity, searing it into your memory, wishing for the world to stop, stop right now and leave you in this moment forever. You’ve been lost, wandering, and have finally come home.  
But forever doesn’t exist.
You’re struck with a blast of cold at his loss, feeling horribly empty. He steps away from you, and you’re almost certain that you see moisture in his eyes, tears threatening to break free. Every fiber of your being yearns for him, you want to reach out to him, extend the hug, shower him in kisses, make up and forget that this all even happened, but you’re too prideful. You can’t let yourself do this.
“Goodbye, Y/N. Thank you for everything.”
And just like that, he’s gone.
                                            [    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙    ]
11:42am, March 12 2021
[taehyung]
I miss you.
I miss you as the seasons come and go, I miss you as I watch the world going to shit, losing all hope. I miss you when the wind blows, taking me along like a pointless man, destined for nowhere. I’ll miss you eternally; I’ll miss you when all the ice melts into the ocean, I’ll miss you when everything’s finally disappeared and there’s utter nothing left for me.
I miss you in the brightest mornings and the darkest nights, when the sun comes out to play and the rain starts pelting down like there’s no tomorrow. I’ll miss you in the loneliest winters and the blooming springs.
Everything reminds me of you. I am stuck in this eternal frost without you here; your loss has trapped me into this winter forever. I am slowly losing feel of my limbs as they succumb to the cold around me - everything has frozen into place, trapping me into the confines of this perpetual season. The world is closing in, I have nowhere to go, nothing to do. No longer do I have you to lead me out of this snow, no longer do I have you to hold my hand and bring me warmth through it all.
Why did you have to go?
Baby, did you know how much pain I’d be in when you’d left? Did you know how much it would hurt, how you’ve trapped me into this never-ending arctic, leaving me behind to freeze?
Did you know when you chose to go?
You’ve left me in ruins, my love. I can’t continue without you. I’m struggling to breathe, suffocating, as the world collapses inwards, threatening to bury me alive. I wait for you everyday, through all of the grief, the pain. I still wait for the day that you come back, that I get to see your face again.
Or maybe I’m a dumbass. I don’t know. Have you changed? Or is it I who has? Or perhaps, us both? I’m still a lovesick fool for you, Y/N, that I can tell you for sure. I can’t stop thinking of you, as the days pass, sun and moon taking their turns in the sky. I’m left, suffering in this darkness, bleakness without you here. I wonder if you’ll still be there at the end, when all ceases to exist. I wonder if I’ll see you again; how much more do I have to wait? How many more sleepless nights will have to pass before I can lay my eyes upon you again? How many days, months, years do I have to hold back before I get to feel you, touch you, kiss you, one more time?
Or maybe I’m being optimistic. You know what, Y/N, I’ll never see you again, maybe you’re better off without me. Maybe it’s all for the best, maybe it’s time for me to move on, maybe it’s time for you to move on. Maybe it really was not meant to be, maybe you really weren’t the one for me.
Then why can’t I get you out of my head?
Y/N, I wish I could just forget you. I wish you never existed, I wish I had never gotten to know you. Then it would be so much easier for me. I wish that you had ignored me, that you had turned me down when you had the chance. It would’ve been the most pain that I’d feel at the time, but believe me, it’s nothing compared to this.
Now I can’t get rid of you, no matter how hard I try. You’re there, you’re there when I lie down and close my eyes for the night, you’re there at work, hiding behind my papers and my laptop, waiting to take me out to lunch. You’re everywhere, baby, you’re in the car, riding shotgun and racing to connect to Bluetooth first, singing at the top of your lungs as we speed down the highway like the reckless teenagers that we were. I see you, hair tangled by the wind, belting out your favorite lyrics out of the roof of my convertible. And I remember thinking, for the hundredth time that night, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Damnit, Y/N, you’re standing by the mirror every morning when I get ready for my meetings, dainty fingers straightening my tie and planting a kiss on my lips. You got this, lover boy.
You’re there, and then you’re not. You flicker between reality and imagination, I cannot discern whether I’m living in a fever dream or simply hallucinating. You’re slipping through my hands like grains of sand: I’m losing more of you by the second, can’t seem to hold on to you. You’re disappearing, getting further and further away as all I can do is watch helplessly as you fall through my fingers.
Where are you now, Y/N?
I worry about you, I worry whether you’ve eaten well, whether you’ve slept well, whether you’ve had a good day at the office. Have you seen your parents lately? Have you had some time to yourself over the past days, have you overworked yourself as you often tend to do? Are you taking care of yourself?
Is it selfish of me to be wishing for you, thinking of you after all this time? Tell me, Y/N, is it wrong of me to be wanting you despite it having been over for so long now? You’ve probably moved on by now, considering how long it’s already been. Maybe you’ve met someone new, maybe you’re in love with someone else, maybe I’ve already been replaced with another man in your life.
Maybe I treated you wrong, maybe you didn’t feel like I loved you enough, maybe I didn’t make you feel special enough. I wish, Y/N, I wish that I could turn back time for you, I wish I could go back and be better for you, that I could fix all of the mistakes that I’ve made, wipe all of the tears that you might’ve cried for me, swallow up all of the pain that must’ve been plaguing you, to suck up the hurt that you were feeling back then. I wish you could give me all of the pain, I wish that I could’ve carried it all for you, shielded you from it all like how I should’ve done.
But it’s too late now, isn’t it?
You’ve met someone else by now, you’re laughing, smiling, whispering with another, kissing someone else’s lips, in love with your new man. And I’m still here, trying to get over you like the pathetic loser that I am. There are so many regrets, so many things that I wish that I could still tell you, so many errors, mistakes that I made. It’s all my fault. I want nothing more than to be able to get on my knees in front of you and apologize for everything. There are so many more words, so many moments that I want nothing more than to be spending with you.
I’m still in love with you.
I think I always will be, Y/N. I know it’s selfish of me. I really can’t help it. I’m sorry.
You came into my life like a whirlwind, taking all of me along for the ride. And now that you’re gone, I don’t know what to do with myself no longer. I’ve been swept away with you and my fate will forever be left in your hands. There’s nothing left for me here, not in my work nor art. All that’s left is you. You are the only thing keeping me going now - I live another day, endure another night hoping for you, waiting for the day that I will finally see you again. I open my eyes for you in the mornings, in hopes of laying them upon your figure once more.
Maybe it’ll all be for nothing, I know. Maybe I’ll never see you again. But there’s nothing left for me, remember? I’m willing to take my chance. For when I finally do see you once more, it will all be worth it.
I miss you, Y/N. I miss you so fucking much. My heart beats for you, my lungs breathe for you. My every cell in my entire being aches so desperately for you, for you and you only. And so I’ll wait for you. I promise. I’ll be here for you, waiting for the day that I get to catch a glimpse of you, to be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, for when you need even the littlest, tiniest thing. I’m ready to give you the world, baby. I’m ready to right all my wrongs, to treat you like the fucking queen that you are. I’m going to treat you the way that you deserve.
When that time comes, my heart will be happy. When the time comes that I see you again, that I hear your voice again, your laugh again, it’ll be okay. All this pain will fade away to nothing. Don’t worry about me, darling, I’ll always be here, waiting. Waiting for you, until the end.
I promise.
                                                   ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
an: i hope you liked it!!!! <3 please please please leave feedback my loves!
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um hi! im your first i guess? im up for some angst and fluff rn mmm what about keigo with his girlfriend who got pregnant with his baby so she broke up with him to let him grow as his own person and as a hero then like years later, his ex girlfriend and his chile needed rescuing and met accidentally so like she doesn’t really have an excuse but to explain everything? fluff at the ending pleaze huhuhu ilyyyy :)
Back to His Nest
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A/N: You are my first ask indeed! Thank you so much for sending a request, I really appreciate it <3 You didn’t specify what format you wanted so I made a one-shot if you don’t mind. Hope you like it :)
Pairing/s: hawks/takami keigo x reader
Word Count: 1, 762
Tags: angst with a happy ending, fluff, pregnancy, mentions of smut. 
-ꦼ———▸ Part 2
⋅. ♪ .⋅   Loving Keigo Playlist
The test fell on the bathroom floor. You tried to breathe but you just couldn’t concentrate.  Two lines… I can’t believe it.
How on earth were you going to tell Keigo? The number two hero, who’s been your boyfriend for the past two years, he surely doesn’t need someone tying him down. Knowing his situation with the Hero Public Commission, you were pretty sure they weren’t going to like it either, unless they take interest in the child’s quirk…
NO! You jolted upwards, sudden realization dawning over you as you pondered on what your options are. There was no way you were going to let them take advantage of the baby like what they did to Keigo. You clutched your stomach, as if your arms were enough to keep it out of harm’s way. Not my baby…
Hawks, as what the public knows him as, had been a hero for more than 5 years. Even then, he managed to stay on his top ranks. Dropping from his spot in the second place then coming back. Everybody adored him, so did you most of all. He was charming, funny, and was always willing to serve others first instead of himself, a true hero.
You found him at his worst, at a time where he was most vulnerable. His eyes looked so sad you didn’t want to leave him alone. Seeing him curled up on himself with his wings shielding him away from everything, it was a side you thought not everyone got to see. Since then, a string had tied you both. You spent two years loving him, even if your love was unannounced from the rest of the world.
You understood why it had to be that way, for your safety and his image. It bothered you when his fan girls would gush over him in public as if they had claims over him, but you knew Keigo was loyal and faithful, never once giving you a reason to doubt his love for you. But now, everything had to change.
 For both of your sake.
 You hear the jangling of keys near the front door. Shit, was it that late already?
“Baby bird?” You hear Hawks call out as he entered your shared apartment.
“I’ll be there in a sec!” You answered as you rushed to stuff the test kits in your pockets.
“He shouldn’t know,” You muttered to yourself as you removed all evidence of what you just found out. Wiping your tears away, which you didn’t even notice until you took a look in the mirror, you stepped out of the bathroom and plastered a smile on your face.
“Hey baby,” You gave him a peck on the lips, “You’re earlier than usual.”
“They got me off an hour early today since it’s my day off tomorrow.” He pulled you in close with a gentle smile. “They’re probably going to have me work my ass off for the next week but I’ll take what I can get.” He laughed.
The sound of his laughter made you grip his jacket tighter. He looked at you in concern,
“You okay, songbird? Got something on your mind?” I’m thinking about leaving you, but I really don’t want to. I love you so much it hurts.
A nervous laugh slipped through your lips before you even thought about it. “I’m fine, Kei. I just missed you that’s all.” Before you know it, he had you completely in his arms. Not breaking a sweat as he carries you to the bedroom.
“K-Kei! What’re you doing?” You clutched his shoulders in surprise.
“What does it look like I’m doing, Baby bird? I’m making up for lost time.” You laugh along with him, with the words one last time lingering in the back of your head.
When Hawks awoke the morning after, he took his time admiring your sleeping form. You were everything to him, his darling angel. He liked to think he had nothing before he met you. He tucked a strand of your hair away from your face, fingertips brushing against your cheek. You scrunched your eyebrows together, then mumbling a few words before drifting back to sleep. He chuckled as he kissed your forehead before gently nudging your shoulder.
“Muh?” You whispered groggily. You blinked at him a few times before fully gathering your senses.
“Morning songbird, I just thought that we’d spend the morning together.” He said with a smile, “Since it’s my day off, maybe we could spend the whole day outside? We could go wherever; it’s been a while since we’ve had a proper date.” He looked at you sheepishly.
“That sounds great Kei.” You smiled back, trying desperately to ignore the nagging thoughts of leaving him in the back of your head. “Let me freshen up and we can go for breakfast at your favourite diner.”
He gave you one last kiss before he got up. You sat up with growing knots in the pits of your stomach, unnerving sensations clawing its way up to your chest. It’s supposed to be a happy day. Why can’t I just let him have this for once?
“Songbird, shower’s getting cold.” You hear him tease from the bathroom. You stand up, making your way towards him, the words one last time lingering in your head once more.
 ..
You spent the whole day together, going from place to place without any plans whatsoever. Most of the time it was as simple as taking a walk in the park, taking pictures of each other in secret, and laying down in a blanket just looking at the sky. You had to stop Hawks from puffing out his wings every now and then whenever he saw birds nearby because it surprised most of civilians walking in the street. It was a nice outing the both of you rarely got to experience together.
You were walking on the way home when he suddenly stopped to look at a small antique store. “That place looks interesting, wanna go check it out?” You wanted to indulge in him, and who were you to say no? Not when he was looking at you like an endearing child.
You giggled as he pulled you into the shop with a newfound excitement. You both trifled through the shelves with a childlike curiosity, gazing at assortments of abandoned trinkets as if they were lost treasures. They were, in a way, small tokens left behind as people moved on to their lives. You picked up a snow globe and shook it. You were watching the faux snow fall to the bottom when you heard him call your name.
“Come here for a sec.” You followed his voice until you saw him hunched over something. “What’s up?” You asked nervously.  
 “Turn around.” he said gently. You arched an eyebrow before doing so. You felt a cold metal pressing against your neck. “I forgot I went here last week to get this cleaned,” he said as he clasped the necklace, “This belonged to my mother’s. She told me to give it to a special someone once I got older.” It was a simple, silver necklace. A small feather charm, rested right above your collarbones. He smiled at you, looking at you with an adoring gaze that made your heart stop. “I knew I didn’t have to wait to know if you were the one. I just knew it since the day we met.”
Before you knew it, your eyes were brimming with tears. You wiped at your eyes hastily, not wanting to catch unnecessary attention. Hawks looked at you in surprise before holding you close. “Hey, hey, hey.” He cooed. “You don’t like it? I mean, it’s not the fanciest thing I could actually give. I just thought that-“
“You dummy,” You chuckled as you kept wiping your face, “I’m not crying because I don’t like it. I love it. It’s the sweetest thing someone has ever done for me. It’s really beautiful, I’m glad you gave it to me.” You look at him in the eyes, meaning every word you said.
He sighed in relief then hugged you tighter. “You ridiculous goose, crying over the smallest things-ouch! Hey!” He rubbed at the spot on his chest where you punched him. You gave him a pout as he laughed at your puffy face.“Let’s go home, okay birdie?”
You linked your pinky with his, walking along with him in the coldest nights. It felt warm, clinging onto him as you tried to relish every second of this beautiful moment.
..
In the end, they set you up on a trip to a town where they owned a house they never really used. It belonged to your grandmother’s, but nobody wanted to disturb the house so none of your relatives claimed it. You shipped some of your belongings in secret. Hiding the backpack and the suitcase deep in your shared closet where Hawks surely wouldn’t notice. As he expected, he was even busier the next week after his day off. As sharp as he was, he failed to notice you planning your preparations to leave.
It was afternoon, so you didn’t receive any texts or calls from him yet. It would be one of those days where he’d be so busy he’d come home late at night. The thought of him arriving in your apartment tired and hungry, looking for you sent a fresh wave of tears to your face. Stop it, no time for you to be weak.
You see your train come to a stop, its doors opening as people clambered to get off. It was your turn.  You patted your stomach, “I’m doing this all for you, you know.” With a deep breath, you stepped onto the train, every bit of yourself screaming with regret. 
It was time. You dreaded this very moment and here you were, backpack and suitcases in tow. You gripped your train ticket tightly, not knowing where to express your frustration.  The following week after your date, you prepared everything you needed to leave. You called your parents at your hometown, explaining your situation in tears. They listened carefully and asked whatever they could do to help. You merely wanted to explain your situation just in case Hawks would try and call them.
To be continued...
A/N:I tried to fix the formatting of the text but somehow it wouldn’t work?? New to tumblr so apologies ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚sorry it had to be a cliffhanger! I promise I’ll finish this soon as I can, I just needed to put more thought into how the meeting and the ending will be. I promise I’ll make it up with fluff as you requested Σ(・ω・ノ)ノ!
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toonbly · 2 years
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hello!! i was wondering if you had any advice for running plot centric ask blogs? i've been thinking of making my own, but i don't really know where to start.
HEY HEY IM SO SORRY I FORGOT THIS WAS IN MY INBOX FJHSFJKHDFK
but!! hell yea anon! i dont rly do askblogs anymore (gamechanger is still going its just low on my priority list atm) but i can give advice on some stuff i learned while doing it:
1. Have an outline but don’t feel like you have to stick to it fast and hard! Keep it vague, you WILL need to make changes! Ask blogs are a collaborative effort between creator and your audience, think of it kind of like a D&D campaign! You’re here to lead your players in the right direction yknow? If a new story opportunity arises or the audience wants to investigate something and they can Reasonably do so, go for it! Even if it’s not in your original outline to have this happen, it’ll help the audience feel their actions really matter
2. Know your limits and use them to your advantage. As an example: Do you want to do an ask blog but you don’t do art? Do you feel like you HAVE to do art? Surprise: You don’t! Get creative with it! You can do just writing, modeling, coding- literally whatever you want to do! One of my favorite ask blogs, @/initiatefreeman , ran ENTIRELY off of code input screens and it really, REALLY stands out because of it! Limits are just creative tools you haven’t thought of using yet. See what you can do, there’s always more options than you’d think!
3. Pace yourself. Put simply, don’t overwork yourself. I ran GRTV from start to finish in about 6 months, and I’m gonna be honest? It wasn’t the healthiest for me, I was working on it day and night almost nonstop. Was it fun? Of course it was, I don’t regret it! But was it healthy? Absolutely not, and regardless of how much of a blast you’re having you need to mind your health. Put yourself on a schedule, run sessions whenever YOU feel ready to. People will be patient with you my man, and if they’re not? Fuck em! They’re not paying you to do anything so you don’t owe them shit.
4. Just have fun! Use the tropes YOU want to use! Incorporate the ships and headcanons (assuming this is fandom based) that YOU like the most! No matter how niche you think it is or how much you think “oh it’s been done before” or “nobody will want to see this.” I guarantee you someone WILL want to see it! Who cares if it’s been done before? You’re not gonna complain if someone bakes you two cakes, are you? Of course you’re not! That’s two fucking cakes right there my good bitch! Be as self indulgent as heavenly possible, make self inserts, have wild plot points, smash together a buncha aus- who cares! If you’re not having fun with it then it’s not worth making.
thats really the basic 4 things!! :] good luck anon and have fun w/ your ask blog stuffs! :D
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winterxisxcomingx · 3 years
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*sniff sniff*
Is that a new
✨rare ship✨ ?
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Yes, yes of course~ 
But for real, look at them! They didn't have a lot of moments in the anime but we saw that they have interesting relationship already! He isn’t afraid to tell her what he thinks of her and she doesn’t hit him or say something rude (like she is doing with Asta or Finral or Magna). Also he got used to her tsundere behaviour (pretty quickly if I can add). And that moment when she “accidentally” fall of their broom (let me tell that she didn’t mind flying on a broom with him!). Like, that was so sweet! And after that he didn’t yell at her on anything, he just asked “Why the heck did u do that so suddenly?” or sth in similar manner. Also while they were fighting, he was her support and yes she did trust him and his methods. And that mean something, right? 
Also, let’s be honest, they just look so good together...
So, yes, I think it could work~
So Im kinda surprised that nobody thought of that ship yet???
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sereineityy · 3 years
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how many more sleepless nights?
genre: nonidol!au, ANGST, slight fluff
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summary: a year is a long time, isn’t it? you’ve spent yours stuck in an eternal, monochrome winter. a surprise encounter derails all of your plans: feelings fade... or do they, really?
pairing: taehyung x reader
word count: 5.4k 
warnings: swearing, terrible terrible angst (im sorry!), heartbreak, implied smut, angsty flashbacks :(
a/n: hi everyone! this is my very first fic on tumblr and i really hope you enjoy! please listen to spring day and scenery to really get into the feels - i hope you lose yourself in this little slice of a seoul winter :’) also i do have a storyline planned if you enjoy this little piece and could potentially even make this a series aah! please leave comments and constructive criticism - i’d love to grow as a writer! (@chateautae i finally did it!!!!!!)
                                                                                    [    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙      ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙    ]
09:17am, december 17, 2020
It’s been a year since you last saw him. A year of emptiness, hollowness, blankness. A year since you turned your back, leaving without a goodbye. It’s been a year since you’ve walked out his front door, the same one that you’d find yourself visiting and revisiting when you knew he wasn’t home. 
It’s been a year since you last felt some semblance of happiness, a year since you’ve let out a genuine laugh, smiled from cheek-to-cheek. It’s been a year devoid of warmth: you shivered under the embrace of the summer sun, no longer noticed the blooming flowers that you had once loved so much. The world lost all its color. Fading into a bleak grayscale so far away, unreachable. No longer did you walk with a spring in your step, no longer did your eyes glimmer with galaxies that you’d once built with him. You were empty, a ship lost in the depths of the dark oceans. Floating, barely surviving, with no set destination. All you saw were never-ending, infinite oceans in all directions. No escape, no lighthouse. Just you. Alone. Pointless.
Your heart aches for him, the echo of a honeyed baritone, the ghost of his warm, muscular arms wrapped around your shoulders. 
It’s for the best, you had thought. It’s for the best.
You squeeze your eyes shut, willing the thoughts out of your mind. There was too much, too many feelings, pent-up emotions. You weren’t a woman of emotions, never were, swore to never be, until you had met him. And he had changed everything.
Stop. This is getting ridiculous.
You needed to get on with your life, you think. There are too many things to think about, so many better thoughts requiring your attention. What were you doing, wasting your energy on him? It was time, you had decided, to end things once and for all.
The ticket machine snaps you out of your reverie, demanding it get paid. How much did the trip cost? You’ve forced yourself to forget, holed up all the memories too far into the shadows of your mind in your sheer desperation to evade the pain. You slot in a W10,000 bill, way too much, but better than having to remember. The machine happily eats up the cash, returning your card and sending you on your way. 
You navigate the platforms, seeing the brightly-lit signs: Incheon line, Suin line, Bundang line. Then you see it, Platform 6, Gyeongwon line. South-bound to Soyosan, stopping at Iryeong. Your heart thumps, stomach twists, and you feel like throwing up. How many times had you once ascended these very steps with him, hand-in-hand, smiling to one another? How many times had you raced up these stairs, trying to get to the platform first? It’s too much, and you want to run. Run away from this place, from the thoughts and feelings.
No. You need this.
The winter air roughly brushes against your cheeks, hurrying you along.
What are you so afraid of?
Everything, you think. Everything. You’ve bound your heart in chains and locks, plastered it with thousands of bandages, one on top of the other. You’ve holed it away, willed it out of existence. You’re afraid of the memories, the emotions. You’re afraid of yourself.
Go. Just go. Get it over with.
You force your feet to move, one after another. You don’t think, you just move. Move onto the platform, move onto the train. You don’t realize that you’ve boarded the machine until you hear an all-too-familiar voice on the loudspeaker. 
“This is the Special Rapid Train, on the Gyeongwon line, headed for Sosoyan. We will be stopping at Seokgye, Wolgye, Dobong and Iryeong. Please stay clear of the sliding doors!”
You vaguely see the blinking of lights and hear the shutting of the doors. The train picks up speed, clicking against the railroads. You are blank, a passenger on an endless journey. You sway when the train sways, stop when it stops. You don’t know how many stops have passed, having lost yourself in the familiar nothingness that had hollowed you out for the past year, until the speakers announce something about the next station being Dobong. You’re near, you realize. Too near. 
Too soon does the train halt, birthing out and collecting new passengers as seats empty and taken once more in a matter of seconds. You watch this interchange with a bitter smile: how quickly he must have replaced you after you’d left, how he must’ve taken in another in your place.
Stop it.
Too engrossed in your thoughts, you don’t notice the closing of the doors and the blinking of the lights until you hear the loud system once more as the train starts to accelerate.
“Iryeong, Iryeong. Our next stop is Iryeong, please get off on the right side of the train.”
You are left suddenly hyper aware of your surroundings, watching as snow paints the ground white. The houses blur into trees and back into villages as you stare out the window, and you start to remember. You remember your hands intertwined, dancing in the snow, the click of a camera as the melodies of your laughs twirling in the air. You remember the snugness of his embrace, his earthy cologne, his smile, his lips pressed against yours…
Stop.
You tear your gaze away from the glass, staring down at your gloved hands fiddling in your lap. It’s been a year. It’s laughable how much and how little has changed. You’re different, yes, but yet so painfully similar to the girl who ran away. It’s funny how much of a difference, or lack thereof, a year can make, you think. It’s certainly been hard on you, and you find yourself wondering about him, about how maybe the year has changed him, how he’s doing, if he’s eating well, if…
Stop.
You’re hopeless, aren’t you? 
You sigh and shut your eyes. You’re going crazy. Or maybe you’ve always been crazy. Your thoughts are feverish, a maelstrom in your mind. Involuntarily, you notice your feet rapidly tapping the metal bar to your side, vibrating against the pole. You feel the ghost of a touch on your thigh, hear the empty shell of his words, breathe, Y/N, breathe. What’s got you all worked up? And for a moment, just a moment, you feel his presence to your side, capture the warmth radiating off of his figure, and smile. Because it’s all okay when he’s here.
But he’s not. 
You decide to focus on the sound of the railroads, staring down at the speckled floor of the train as the carriage undulates gently, side to side. You ride along, the train’s movements easing your own and you begin to lose yourself once again in the clacks of the rails, mind going blank, until you start to notice the slowing of the sounds. The train’s dance comes to a slow, inviting people to start getting up and shuffle towards the doors. Your heart sinks to your stomach. Not yet, not yet. It can’t be. It’s too soon.
The loudspeaker crackles to life, confirming your worst fears. “Arriving at Iryeong, please stay clear of the doors and exit on the right side of the train.”
Your legs move on their own accord, pulling you to a standing position as you grip the metal post with your life. The train continues to slow, eventually, painstakingly coming to a halt. You wish it never will, that it will continue on with its journey ahead. But it’s too late. The doors slide open, the sounds of the outside world whistle for you, calling you, urging you out of the comfort of the train. You don’t dare move, standing still as passengers trickle out, as the flashing lights start to appear, as the minute at the station starts to come to an end. The doors are closing in five. Four.
You twitch.
Three. Two.
“Wait!”
You rush out the doors, barely escaping the iron clasp of the metals that would’ve devoured you had you been a second too late. Behind you, the steel hisses as the vehicle exits the station, leaving you alone. So utterly alone. 
You’re blessed with a moment of solitude, feeling nothing but the cold air chilling your face, until you realize where you are and why you’re here. 
The bliss of being alone rapidly evaporates, and you’re hit with a speeding truck. The memories flood in; you’re winded, gasping for breath as you’re stormed with images, short clips of him, you, the pair of you. His smile, his laugh, his cheeks, eyes, nose. His breath tickling yours before he leans in for a kiss, his gentle, large hands cupping your face as you close your eyes…
Stop. Get a fucking grip, will you?
You force the color out of your mind as you make your way around the platform, empty now that everyone has gone. Your eyes graze against the pathetic, run-down station: the signs are only partially lit, the electricity having worn out. Your fingers run against the peeling, dirtied paint of the walls, dust bunnies catching onto your gloves. You scoff. This is pathetic. The floor is littered with plastics and old soda bottles, as if nobody’s been here to clean in too long. Graffiti smiles sadly back at you as you scan the fading walls, losing their life by the second. The bricks have faded into a musty brown, drab and uninteresting. Everything is so run down, so tired. You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you make your way to the minimart to your right, wanting a beverage to help warm your insides up. 
The doors slide open with a gentle clink, altering the store of your presence. The cashier at the counter looks up at you through half-lidded eyes, barely acknowledging you, before returning to the drama playing on his cracked phone. The shelves are well-stocked, however, in stark contrast to the beaten-down appearance of this whole ordeal. You glide along the aisles, and everything is the same. Your favorite tea is still on the same shelf as it was all those months ago, his favorite gimbap in the bottom left corner of the chiller. Beef and sesame, he’d get, while you’d get a tuna for yourself, clinking your drinks and hearing the hiss of his cola opening, laughing as you made a mess of yourselves, two young fools madly in love. You’d talk, drink, eat for hours, whispering, dreaming and wishing, wondering what was going to come in the future, what you’d name your first puppy, whether you wanted a girl or a boy for your first child. Never would you have ever imagined that it would all end this way.
Stop it.
You grab your bottle of tea violently, almost knocking it over in your hurry to leave. You could no longer stay, not here, suffocating in your memories of him. You erased the gimbap out of your vision, ignoring it as you made your way to the counter, paying for your drink as the half-hearted employee handed you with your change. You mutter a thank you, unsure if he had even heard, and mindlessly make your way out of the store, too focused on keeping someone out of your head. You nearly bang into the glass doors in your haste, looking down and walking as fast as you can. Until your heart stops, that is.
You don’t dare look up, not now. The whole world slows to a stand-still, your gaze sharpening on nothing. Your heart is about to beat out of your chest, your lungs stop working. Electricity charges through the air and you’re left reeling, not knowing what to do. 
Slowly, painfully, your neck raises, muscles straining with all their might. You already know what you’re going to see, who you’re going to see, but the sight of him still shocks you all the same. You nearly spill your drink all over yourself when you finally look up, and your brain goes into overdrive. You’re sure that your mouth is hanging open, jaw slack, but you can’t do anything about it. Your knees buckle, you can’t breathe, suffocating, wanting the ground to swallow you up at this very moment. You want to fall, tumble into an eternal tunnel. You are dizzy, light-headed, going crazy, you swear. You’re going crazy, aren’t you? This can’t be real, can it?
You can’t believe it. You’re drowning, drowning in those chocolate eyes, sinking into his pupils, losing yourself in his gorgeous features. You drink him all in, his own face mirroring yours, in no doubt absolute shock or maybe even despair, his deadly stare making your breath hitch as it once did so long ago. He’d never lost his power over you, after all. The world is suspended around you, all operations ceased as you both continue to stare into each other’s eyes, the tension so palpable that it threatens to devour you whole. Your larynx seems to be glued shut, your tongue a stone in your mouth. There are no words, no way to express this feeling that washes over you upon seeing him again. 
“Y/N…” 
His voice. Your ears ring with his deep baritone, honey to your ears. You can’t help it: you quite literally swoon, despite the circumstances. His voice: it ignites a fire within you, warm tendrils of heat rising up from your stomach. Vibrations send throughout your core, making you lightheaded and sure that you’re about to fall. You remember his timber next to you in the dead of light, comforting you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, it’s okay, it’s okay, breathe, it’s okay, you’re here with me. 
You hug your arms around yourself, trying to keep it all in, retain the strange feeling that was now foreign to you after months of cold. It’s been too long, after all - you’ve gone too long deprived of this humanness, comfort that radiated off of him. 
Things are different now, Y/N.
Yes, they are. Your mind goes berserk once more, considering all of the scenarios. Why is he here? He probably just needs to go to the minimart - no, why would he come all this way, he lives pretty far as well, or maybe he’s waiting on a friend, no, maybe he’s brought a new girlfriend, maybe she’s with him right now waiting to jump out of the shadows. Maybe they’re both exchanging looks right now when I’m not looking, laughing, taunting me, this girl from the past who doesn’t deserve to be here, maybe they all think I’m a joke now, what am I doing, why, why, why?
You’re so lost in your thoughts that when Taehyung addresses you once more, you’re violently jolted out of your mind and nearly fall backwards, body forgetting everything but the sound of his voice.
“Y/N…” he says again, forcing you to look up at him. Your name splinters through the air from his lips, cutting through the frost and straight into your chest; you notice now that his voice seems tired, that he seems tired. 
You finally regain some semblance of control over your frozen tongue, lips moving in an attempt to emit a sound, any sound. Your lips wrap around the sole syllable that comes to you like muscle memory, the only one that you manage to choke out.
“T-Tae...”
Your voice cracks, unable to continue. The prolonged eye-contact has got you weak, his pupils boring into your soul. You look into his eyes, reciprocating, and you notice that maybe they’ve lost their golden sheen, that they no longer twinkle with constellations of stars. And it’s then that you realize: maybe the year has taken a toll on him too. 
Look at what you’ve done to him.
“T-Tae, I, I, I…” you sputter out, guilt flooding your system like a drug. There was nothing you could say, nothing you could tell him to cheat yourself out of the situation or paint yourself in a better light like you’re so used to doing. You’re not used to feeling this powerless, this weak. Taehyung was the only one who saw through the facade, the only one who allowed you to feel vulnerable. You couldn’t lie to him, you knew you couldn’t; there was no wheedling, no bullshitting, no lying yourself out of any sticky situation, which had caused you this whole trouble in the first place. You ran because you were too much of a coward to talk to him, to confide in him. And look where that’s gotten you.
“Why are you here?” he asks, burying his head in his hands. “Y/N, why are you here?”
Why am I here? You don’t really know as well, there’s nothing that you can say to him. Why am I here? To get over him? How are you even going to tell him? He has to think that you’re over him, that it’s done. Stop torturing yourself, and stop dragging him through this mess of your life. Tell him that it’s done.
“I… I came because…” 
Y/N, say something?
“I came because I... I was looking for you.” 
What the fuck?
His head snaps up, his piercing stare catching your gaze once again. “You were looking for me?”
You feel your heart stop.
“Umm… well, I mean, no, but, no, well actually if I think about it now, yeah, yeah I was looking for you,” you stammer, unable to produce a single cohesive line of thought. “I was looking for you because I wanted to tell you that it’s over.”
Your own words are like a dagger twisting into your own heart and vaguely hear a choked sound breaking the awful, awful silence. Until you realize that it’s come from your own mouth, a sob that you hadn’t even realized that you were holding in. 
A moment of charged silence goes by, yet louder than any noise that either of you could’ve let out. Never in your life has silence felt so utterly deafening, and you wish to cover your ears and scream it all out. 
“You’re telling me this now?” Taehyung manages, features distorted in pain. “You’re telling me this now, a whole fucking year after you walk out the door without a single word to me?” 
You look down at the ground, hating, blaming your traitorous mouth for saying something that you hadn’t fully thought through. 
No, Y/N. You have to stop bringing everyone down.
You’ve lost all rational thought when you say, “yes, Taehyung. Yes. I had nothing to say to you then and nothing to say to you now. It’s done and it’s over.”
You couldn’t even say sorry?
The frosty wind brushes over the pair of you, causing you to shiver in your boots. You want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and disappear, pretend that this never happened, that this was all a bad dream.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see a security guard watching the whole exchanged with piqued interest. It’s none of your fucking business, you want to scream. It’s none of your fucking business. And yet you’re so humiliated, embarrassed at this whole mess that you’ve made of not only yourself but the situation in its entirety that you cannot muster up any words to merely defend yourself. You want to cry, sob, yell, scream.
“Fine, Y/N, it’s okay. You know what? It’s okay, you don’t owe me an explanation, you don’t owe me anything, not an apology, not a reason, not your love. It’s okay. It’s fine. Maybe you never loved me, saw me in the same way. Maybe I just assumed, maybe it was wrong of me to assume. Maybe I was too optimistic, too in love with you that I had forced myself to believe the story that I had made up in my head, that you were in love with me too. Maybe I had wanted it, wanted you so bad that I had made myself believe it. Made myself believe that you were in love with me.”
Your heart instinctually reaches out to him, drumming feverishly against your fragile ribcage. No, you want to scream. No, Taehyung, you couldn’t be more fucking wrong. He doesn’t know the way your heart beats for him in the dead of night, how the mere thought of him sends shivers down your spine, how every cell in your body, every thread of your being aches, yearns for his presence with every hour, every minute, every second. 
You feel your heart breaking, splintering into thousands, millions of tiny little fragments raining down like shards of glass. It hurts, it hurts like hell. 
“It’s okay, Y/N. Don’t force yourself into anything. There’s no need to anymore. There’s no more need to lie, no more need to pretend that you’re happy.”
“Thank you for telling me the truth.”
It’s not the truth, you want to cry. It’s not. It’s the farthest from it. But you return his look, tight-lipped. You nod, despite the swell of emotions that are threatening to cut you in half at this very moment. 
“You’re welcome.”
He reciprocates your nod and slowly, painfully, tears his eyes from yours. He stands up, gingerly, as if hesitating, and you want to tell him to stop, to sit back down, that you’re lying to him, that you want him, that you want him more than anything in this world. But you don’t, and he continues onto his feet, sparing you one last gaze.
“At least I get to say goodbye,” he says, wistfully. “At least I now have the chance to say goodbye.”
You’re sure that tears are streaming down your face at this point, little trails of ice making their way down your blushed cheeks. Your lips are tight, and you cannot, for the life of you, return his look. 
Before you can fully comprehend what’s happening, you know he’s here, the familiar hold of his arms, your face finding itself nestled on the same spot on his chest, right above his heart. You feel it beat, gently, slowly, under your ear, a comforting rhythm that you’ve too often fallen asleep to, whispered to. Your arms instinctually wrap around his waist, and his head settles on the crook of your neck, the curve of his nose gently kissing your delicate skin. His warmth radiates from under his coat, and you soak it all in, collecting as much as you can. You are two puzzle pieces, a perfect fit, and you will this moment into eternity, searing it into your memory, wishing for the world to stop, stop right now and leave you in this moment forever. You’ve been lost, wandering, and have finally come home.   
But forever doesn’t exist.
You’re struck with a blast of cold at his loss, feeling horribly empty. He steps away from you, and you’re almost certain that you see moisture in his eyes, tears threatening to break free. Every fiber of your being yearns for him, you want to reach out to him, extend the hug, shower him in kisses, make up and forget that this all even happened, but you’re too prideful. You can’t let yourself do this.
“Goodbye, Y/N. Thank you for everything.” 
And just like that, he’s gone.
                                              [    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙    ]
11:42am, March 12 2021
[taehyung]
I miss you. 
I miss you as the seasons come and go, I miss you as I watch the world going to shit, losing all hope. I miss you when the wind blows, taking me along like a pointless man, destined for nowhere. I’ll miss you eternally; I’ll miss you when all the ice melts into the ocean, I’ll miss you when everything’s finally disappeared and there’s utter nothing left for me.
I miss you in the brightest mornings and the darkest nights, when the sun comes out to play and the rain starts pelting down like there’s no tomorrow. I'll miss you in the loneliest winters and the blooming springs.
Everything reminds me of you. I am stuck in this eternal frost without you here; your loss has trapped me into this winter forever. I am slowly losing feel of my limbs as they succumb to the cold around me - everything has frozen into place, trapping me into the confines of this perpetual season. The world is closing in, I have nowhere to go, nothing to do. No longer do I have you to lead me out of this snow, no longer do I have you to hold my hand and bring me warmth through it all.
Why did you have to go?
Baby, did you know how much pain I’d be in when you’d left? Did you know how much it would hurt, how you’ve trapped me into this never-ending arctic, leaving me behind to freeze? 
Did you know when you chose to go?
You’ve left me in ruins, my love. I can’t continue without you. I’m struggling to breathe, suffocating, as the world collapses inwards, threatening to bury me alive. I wait for you everyday, through all of the grief, the pain. I still wait for the day that you come back, that I get to see your face again.
Or maybe I’m a dumbass. I don’t know. Have you changed? Or is it I who has? Or perhaps, us both? I’m still a lovesick fool for you, Y/N, that I can tell you for sure. I can’t stop thinking of you, as the days pass, sun and moon taking their turns in the sky. I’m left, suffering in this darkness, bleakness without you here. I wonder if you’ll still be there at the end, when all ceases to exist. I wonder if I’ll see you again; how much more do I have to wait? How many more sleepless nights will have to pass before I can lay my eyes upon you again? How many days, months, years do I have to hold back before I get to feel you, touch you, kiss you, one more time? 
Or maybe I’m being optimistic. You know what, Y/N, I’ll never see you again, maybe you’re better off without me. Maybe it’s all for the best, maybe it’s time for me to move on, maybe it’s time for you to move on. Maybe it really was not meant to be, maybe you really weren’t the one for me. 
Then why can’t I get you out of my head?
Y/N, I wish I could just forget you. I wish you never existed, I wish I had never gotten to know you. Then it would be so much easier for me. I wish that you had ignored me, that you had turned me down when you had the chance. It would’ve been the most pain that I’d feel at the time, but believe me, it’s nothing compared to this. 
Now I can’t get rid of you, no matter how hard I try. You’re there, you’re there when I lie down and close my eyes for the night, you’re there at work, hiding behind my papers and my laptop, waiting to take me out to lunch. You’re everywhere, baby, you’re in the car, riding shotgun and racing to connect to Bluetooth first, singing at the top of your lungs as we speed down the highway like the reckless teenagers that we were. I see you, hair tangled by the wind, belting out your favorite lyrics out of the roof of my convertible. And I remember thinking, for the hundredth time that night, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Damnit, Y/N, you’re standing by the mirror every morning when I get ready for my meetings, dainty fingers straightening my tie and planting a kiss on my lips. You got this, lover boy.
You’re there, and then you’re not. You flicker between reality and imagination, I cannot discern whether I’m living in a fever dream or simply hallucinating. You’re slipping through my hands like grains of sand: I’m losing more of you by the second, can’t seem to hold on to you. You’re disappearing, getting further and further away as all I can do is watch helplessly as you fall through my fingers. 
Where are you now, Y/N?
I worry about you, I worry whether you’ve eaten well, whether you’ve slept well, whether you’ve had a good day at the office. Have you seen your parents lately? Have you had some time to yourself over the past days, have you overworked yourself as you often tend to do? Are you taking care of yourself?
Is it selfish of me to be wishing for you, thinking of you after all this time? Tell me, Y/N, is it wrong of me to be wanting you despite it having been over for so long now? You’ve probably moved on by now, considering how long it’s already been. Maybe you’ve met someone new, maybe you’re in love with someone else, maybe I’ve already been replaced with another man in your life.
Maybe I treated you wrong, maybe you didn’t feel like I loved you enough, maybe I didn’t make you feel special enough. I wish, Y/N, I wish that I could turn back time for you, I wish I could go back and be better for you, that I could fix all of the mistakes that I’ve made, wipe all of the tears that you might’ve cried for me, swallow up all of the pain that must’ve been plaguing you, to suck up the hurt that you were feeling back then. I wish you could give me all of the pain, I wish that I could’ve carried it all for you, shielded you from it all like how I should’ve done.
But it’s too late now, isn’t it? 
You’ve met someone else by now, you’re laughing, smiling, whispering with another, kissing someone else’s lips, in love with your new man. And I’m still here, trying to get over you like the pathetic loser that I am. There are so many regrets, so many things that I wish that I could still tell you, so many errors, mistakes that I made. It’s all my fault. I want nothing more than to be able to get on my knees in front of you and apologize for everything. There are so many more words, so many moments that I want nothing more than to be spending with you. 
I’m still in love with you. 
I think I always will be, Y/N. I know it’s selfish of me. I really can’t help it. I’m sorry.
You came into my life like a whirlwind, taking all of me along for the ride. And now that you’re gone, I don’t know what to do with myself no longer. I’ve been swept away with you and my fate will forever be left in your hands. There’s nothing left for me here, not in my work nor art. All that’s left is you. You are the only thing keeping me going now - I live another day, endure another night hoping for you, waiting for the day that I will finally see you again. I open my eyes for you in the mornings, in hopes of laying them upon your figure once more. 
Maybe it’ll all be for nothing, I know. Maybe I’ll never see you again. But there’s nothing left for me, remember? I’m willing to take my chance. For when I finally do see you once more, it will all be worth it.
I miss you, Y/N. I miss you so fucking much. My heart beats for you, my lungs breathe for you. My every cell in my entire being aches so desperately for you, for you and you only. And so I’ll wait for you. I promise. I’ll be here for you, waiting for the day that I get to catch a glimpse of you, to be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, for when you need even the littlest, tiniest thing. I’m ready to give you the world, baby. I’m ready to right all my wrongs, to treat you like the fucking queen that you are. I’m going to treat you the way that you deserve. 
When that time comes, my heart will be happy. When the time comes that I see you again, that I hear your voice again, your laugh again, it’ll be okay. All this pain will fade away to nothing. Don’t worry about me, darling, I’ll always be here, waiting. Waiting for you, until the end. I promise. 
                                                     ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ 
an: i hope you liked it!!!! <3 please please please leave feedback my loves!
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shadow and bone rewatch s1e6 while drinking mid-range scotch
I wish I have a face that is as unlined and pretty as Ben Barnes' when I'm 39
Arken you dirty dirty liar
the face Alek is making at his lies that he knows are lies firstly because he knows the art of lying so well and also because he can read people very well
okay Ivan is kind of a bad bitch with his smirk at Arken's lies
alek's eyes narrowing and his little smile when Arken says 'im an entertainer' bitch I love this show
*grabs hand, pulls up sleeve, and discovers Arken's hand is full of marks indicating successful passages through the fold* 'well, that is certainly entertaining' I love this man with all my heart
him screaming is so fucking hot, is that weird for me to say
Nina being the Darkling's spy is quite interesting
Ben giving the Darkling crazy eyes when Arken owns up to his guilt is so cool
also wtf is Arken a fool trying to negotiate with possibly the strongest man in the world
kind of loved the darkness literally eating him
also love Alina learning to use her powers better when she is alone than when she is with anyone else, wish we got to see the cut in this season as per the books, ah can't have everything I guess
the camera pan to Jesper's gun at his side, amazing
god Jessie is literally so beautiful I need to see her bring Alina to the peak of her power so bad
netflix you better renew this series to let the plot run to its completion
HOW THE FUCK DID THEY CAST THE CROWS SO PERFECTLY
INEJ FUCKING TREMBLING JUST THE TINIEST BIT AS SHE BOWS SLIGHTLY TO ALINA SGSHSBSJJSJSSJ MY TWO QUEENS
'And where is my Summoner?' my little Darklina heart ouchie I really wish you hadn't used and manipulated her like this Alek it was incredibly fucked up especially considering you actually caught feelings
'Ivan and I won't fail you' oh Fedyor my baby, my angel, you don't deserve what is coming
Helnik literally recreating Titanic lmao stop this is a joke
I too would jump off the raft if I came to consciousness to see a gorgeous woman with magical powers with her hand on my back
omg but why is ryevost so pretty though
'I know exactly how she felt. The King's soldiers treated me the same way... I'm not myself today.' why must you do this to me, why must you fuel my darklina soulmates agenda idiocy
I don't quite think I have a problem with the Zoya Darkling relationship as much as I have a problem with the line they chose to reveal it to use with.
my drink's over and I don't know if I should have another, considering that it's 7 am
the tenderness with which he looks at Zoya and takes her hand and then when he says 'I shall relax when I have Alina' makes me believe more that the man that is reduced to tears time and again in front of Alina could in fact be the master manipulator I know him to be
god I can't wait for Zoya's character arc
'I speak six languages, it's part of my job' why is Nina literally the fucking coolest
Alina blinding the oprichniki was so hot, I can't wait to see more of her power and her ruthlessness
I know I've said it before but good god is Jessie Mei Li gorgeous
HER LITTLE SMILE AMONGST ALL THE PANIC AS SOON AS SHE SEES MAL, THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHOW TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY
THE SCORE COMING IN AT THE RIGHT MOMENT, THEIR HANDS MEETING, HER SMILE AGAIN DHDHSBSNSNSNSNAN IM IN PAIN
REALLY?! YOU'RE GONNA GO DIRECTLY FROM MALINA TO HELNIK WITH NO CONCERN FOR MY HEART?
I simply cannot get over Calahan's accent lmao it's really funny
'im not afraid of you' he says to the insanely gorgeous girl with magic
HIM HANGING HIS HEAD IN DEFEAT TO INDICATE NINA HAS MADE VALID POINTS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CAN'T BREATHE
'You're just a man. Like all the others.' she says and then forgets her train of thought looking at him as he strips. god I love this
not sleeping all night and then scotch is not a good idea, I think
'I promise not to ravish you' 'I hate the way you talk' her hand on his chest, his hand gripping hers, my fucking heart feels like it's about to explode
good god these shooting locations and sets are so beautiful
Alina throwing the flask at Mal and Mal going 'OI!' I fucking can't, I guess I am a
simp for childhood friends to lovers, give me more of that banter and childhood friend energy, I am thriving
wow it literally seems like they took book! Mal sl*tshaming book! Alina and made show! Alina sl*tshame show! Mal, hmm, interesting
'They would have split us up!' MAL'S LITTLE SMILE AT THIS, and the 'You wrote me letters?' Mal's nod, the Malina yearning stare, the Malina hug, 'thank you for finding me' 'always. I'll always find you.' NO MALINA YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE MADE ME ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FERAL
I understand they had to split time between my ravkan babies and the crows and that is why there were several aspects that were sort of not reflected on enough but Alina's training at the Little Palace, Alina's cut, Mal's personality, a teensy bit of backstory for the crows, maybe one lockpicking scene from my boy Kaz
random note: we have far too many idols and paintings and pictures and whatnot of Hindu deities in our house apart from the specially designed temple (we are Hindus, so maybe it's not that weird but it's a little weird)
Kaz's cane is a literal star, it's so beautiful my heart wants to explode
'Why would Heleen get the Crow Club?' *literally fucking gets up and walks aways instead of answering the fucking question* I LITERALLY CAN'T BREATHE I'M LOSING MY MIND
'I know that voice' WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO MAKE ME FIGHT FOR PLATONIC SHIPS IN FANDOMS
'We won't starve' omg get you someone who packs food for you when you go on the run together hiding from your ex who wants to capture you and use your powers as a weapon against your consent
Mal looking surprised at her summoning sunlight, Alina looking cautiously at him waiting for him to disapprove or run for the hills in fear or smth like that, 'I'm sorry it took me this long to see you... But I see you now' my dumb little shipper trash heart ouch
they really said we're gonna feed you this part asian couple as the protagonists in this show in 2021 and guess what I'm eating it's really tasty I'm very satisfied as a south asian
NINA'S LITTLE SMILE WHEN MATTHIAS WAKES UP WITH HIS ARM AROUND HER
'I can feel how much you hate sleeping next to me' 👀👀👀 BITCH SAID IMMA SPILL THE TEA AND THEN SHE DID
it's 8 am and guess what I'm getting another drink my parents have c*vid and are in govt qu*r*ntine centres there is nobody to supervise or stop me
I too say 'Why do you have to say things like that?' to my pretty crush when she flirts with me
Nina smiling at Matthias bragging about his conservative ways is my aesthetic
'No, it's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall and yet, oh, there you stand.' MY FUCKING QUEEN
Matthias laughing uncontrollably at Nina saying something which isn't even that funny is a whole ass vibe
Kaz Brekker saying 'The Black General' ooh fuck yeah
YESSSS STEP OUT OF THAT CARRIAGE ALL SEXY BLACK GENERAL
isn't alcohol supposed to like kill germs? well, the amount in my system definitely will
I love my crows so much (always but this time particularly for setting that alarm in the stolen carriage)
ooh Polina recognising Inej by the knife yesss let's go writers
this Ivan Jesper showdown is all I needed from life and yet did not know about
Ivan taking off his cloak was, um, sexier than I wanted it to be
I just realised how thirsty I am going to sound in this post
'Has no one told you that keftas are Fabrikator-made and resistant to bullets, hmm?' 'Oh, I do love a challenge' LITERALLY EVERYTHING
im sorry to be pointing out flaws in a perfect show and adaptation but the line delivery on 'You robbed me of my brother, now I'll rob you of your life' from Polina was kind of weak
'You're a-' *gets knocked out with the back of a gun* LMAO we love the hints
got excited at the prospect of kaz v. zoya until I realised they will not be letting the opportunity of kaz v. darkling pass up
my goodness is Amita Suman a splendid actress
I AM NOT KIDDING WHEN I TELL YOU I SQUEALED WHEN I SAW DARKLES EMERGE OUT OF THE SHADOWS IN FRONT OF MY BABY BOY KAZ
THERE BEING ACTUAL FEAR OR ATLEAST DOUBT ON KAZ'S FACE, THE LITTLE BACK STEPS AS
THE DARKLING WALKS TOWARDS HIM, AAAAH I CAN'T
THE DARKLING STOPPING AT KAZ SAYING 'SHE FLED ON HER OWN' AND THE HINT OF TEARS THAT WE SEE IN HIS EYES
'IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR SHE WASN'T INTERESTED IN BEING A CAPTIVE ANYMORE' YOU TELL HIM, KING
*ACTUAL FUCKING TEARS IN THE DARKLING'S EYES AS THE SHADOWS APPROACH*
NOT ME YOWLING LIKE A HYENA THAT THIS CHILD OUTSMARTED THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN EXISTENCE WITH A FAKE MAGIC TRICK
'Are you sure you added enough cloves?' literally warranting a wide ass smile from my queen Alina making my entire fucking day
for some reason, no matter how much I push it from my mind, Ben Barnes dressed up as the Darkling, dancing to 'push it' keeps coming to mind, it's absolutely ridiculous
I got somehow distracted with interviews but good things came out of that as it gave my body the time for the booze to kick in
and I would just like to say that I love Leigh for all she has given me
Alina is so fucking compassionate, I have no much love for her. I can feel her guilt and her sorrow as Mal talks of Mikhail and Dubrov
don't particularly like how the stag plotline is woven in, could have been executed better
'You're afraid you might start to like me?' *flaps furs like a bird's wings in frustration*
'I DO like you' my fucking heart you idiots
the sexual tension is so palpable and the moment is so intimate I simply cannot
OMG SHE FUCKING FELL
that moment where you think he might let her fall despite having read the books and he doesn't and he tells her his name I- <3
YOU DARE TRANSITION FROM A HELNIK SCENE TO A KANEJ SCENE YOU REALLY HAVE NO MERCY FOR MY HEART HUH
people have talked about this endlessly but Freddie's little jaw tic after he says Inej because Inej is wounded and he can't physically bring himself to help her I fucking cannot
THE MUSIC PICKING UP AS KAZ LOOKS TO THE DARKLING'S CARRIAGE I CAN'T WITH THIS SHOW ANYMORE
and now for one of my favorite scenes in television and cinematic history, David Kostyk throwing a book at Jesper Fahey without even knowing who he is merely because he opens the door of his carriage and says hello to him before getting knocked out by Kaz Brekker while trying to run away
Immediately followed by another, the scene with David Kostyk raising his finger to put forward his point in front of the Darkling and the Darkling trying to let him know he doesn't have to before obliging is one of my favourite scenes in the world
also sir please stop being devastatingly attractive in your glorious appearance with your face and your black kefta and cloak because all that comes to mind is Ayesha Erotica's Emo Boy and I'm afraid that is terribly inappropriate.
'No, you look great.' *literally looks down from embarrassment or blushing* MALINA RIGHTS?
THE LOOK ON THE DARKLING'S FACE BEFORE HE SAYS 'NO ORDINARY TRACKER, NO ORDINARY GIRL' BITCH IM OUT OF BREATH
'ORPHANS OF KERAMZIN, REUNITED.' 'ADORABLE.' HE FUCKING SNEERED IRL I FUCKING CANNOT
GOD IT'S SO GOOD
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qu1nby · 2 years
Note
how do u feel abt the character's relationships in vnc? im still watching through my first time and i haven't read the manga and some development makes me kinda annoyed; so wanted to get your opinion !
oh boy oh boy. I have a terrible memory so I’m sorry if I forget anything! + this is all my opinion and it will likely change as the series progresses
Let's start off with the big two, shall we? VaniJeanne time!
I think I mentioned this before but, while I don't like VaniJeanne that much as a ship, I understand that their relationship is important to their individual developments.
To be honest, I have no deep insight on why Vanitas kissed Jeanne that first time (because, come on, there were other ways to end that) or why he insisted she drink his blood, but he did. Considering how intimate all of their sucky sucky (sorry--) scenes are, it's no surprise they both end up with some complicated feelings about the other.
I'm not sure how far in you are so I'll try not to spoil too much! Having said that, their relationship seems very centered around the idea of self-discovery and letting go of the past. Neither of them have ever experienced anything like this before, so of course it is going to be messy and imperfect.
Jeanne, being a bourreau and all, didn't think she would have a chance at romance. Vanitas believes that nobody could ever fall in love with him. There are some genuinely nice moments between the two, and I'm sure there will be more once the current arc has wrapped up.
In short: Vanitas and Jeanne have a really flawed relationship, but what do you expect? They both feel trapped -- Vanitas by his past and current responsibilities, and Jeanne by her station (and other things that might be spoilers).
It's time for VaNoé!
What can I say? I'm a sucker for partners that always argue and the "I hate you but you're also one of the few I trust" vibes. and what about the "are you so interested in kisses" CD comic, hmm?
anyway. This segment will be a little shorter because a lot of what I want to talk about hasn't been animated yet (soon!)
Vanitas finds Noé interesting and, as Noé continues to get lost and make friends with dangerous people, naive. Noé wants to save people. He sees Vanitas and the book as a way to do something he couldn't. Noé can't bring Louis back but, with Vanitas, he can help other curse-bearers. He isn't scared of the book or the blue mood (he called it BEAUTIFUL), and so he isn't scared of Vanitas.
What I find interesting is how their personalities seem to swap as the story progresses. Vanitas is slowly learning to open up while Noé seems to retreat more and more into his own mind.
There is so much focus on identity in this series and I didn't even notice until now. Domi and Noé, for example. again, trying to avoid spoilers, but Domi heavily blames herself for Louis' death -- even going so far as to mold herself into what she thinks people want.
In my opinion, Domi and Noé's relationship is more about her learning that she does not need him as much as she thinks she does. Which brings me to my next point: the side relationships in vnc are great!
Like the dhams! Dante, Johann, and Riche (although we don’t see Riche often) have some of my favorite interactions. Or the Chasseurs! Roland and Olivier are divorced husbands and Astofolo is their son, 100%
So, what are my final thoughts?
I think there is a lot of room to grow! We’re only, what, 55 chapters in? I don’t know how long the series will go on but I’m confident in the author’s ability to give each character the justice they deserve.
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cassiesboy · 2 years
Note
5, 7, and 10 ?
Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? yeah i mean the spn fandom is good at that -- i wouldn't say the fandom has ruined dstiel for me, but i do think ive become a good deal more choosey about what content i actually like for it in the past few months. so far aside from that ive only found new pairings that i enjoy, though considering i originally got into spn specifically because of dstiel and disregarded any content that wasn't about it, that isn't really all that surprising -- my pool of ships to ruin was literally just the one lol. i will say the vast majority of jimmycas content online is gross too, but that didn't really ruin it for me since the fans of it on tumblr, at least in my circles, tend to engage with it in cool and interesting ways :]
Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now? when i first read fic i didnt know who cassie was so the fics where people had dean date her before cas seemed kind of creative to me. now the idea that she was just some kind of romantic stepping stone toward cas for dean makes me see red. i also used to be pretty neutral toward sam so i didnt really mind if he went unmentioned or poorly charcterized in fic, but now im like. THAT'S SAMMY!!! also the sam-as-biggest-dstiel-shipper trope is super weird to me. like especially as a younger sibling nobody acts like that least of all sam lol
Most disliked arc? Why? honestly i hate thinking about the later seasons everything ive heard about them seems so bitter </3 but i havent watched them yet and i know i have to so i can understand the show better. from the early seasons the thing that makes me really mad in terms of arcs is the way everyone around sam seems preemptively convinced of his evilness, when he hasn't even done anything yet lol. but honestly i find that sort of thematically compelling, it's like a mirrored and distorted version of sam's own fears combined with his psychic abilities, i just don't know how intentional that was in a doylist sense. this is again also not an arc necessarily but why the Fuck did they take his powers away. i want that man on the FLOOR (overcome by visions). there's a number of other things i could talk about bc spn is at it's core a terrible terrible fantasy melodrama but that's my immediate thoughts
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sereineity · 3 years
Text
how many more sleepless nights?
genre: nonidol!au, ANGST, slight fluff
Tumblr media
summary: a year is a long time, isn’t it? you’ve spent yours stuck in an eternal, monochrome winter. a surprise encounter derails all of your plans: feelings fade… or do they, really?
pairing: taehyung x reader
word count: 5.4k
warnings: swearing, terrible terrible angst (im sorry!), heartbreak, implied smut, angsty flashbacks :(
a/n: hi everyone! this is my very first fic on tumblr and i really hope you enjoy! please listen to spring day and scenery to really get into the feels - i hope you lose yourself in this little slice of a seoul winter :’) also i do have a storyline planned if you enjoy this little piece and could potentially even make this a series aah! please leave comments and constructive criticism - i’d love to grow as a writer! (@chateautae i finally did it!!!!!!)
[    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙      ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙    ]
09:17am, december 17, 2020
It’s been a year since you last saw him. A year of emptiness, hollowness, blankness. A year since you turned your back, leaving without a goodbye. It’s been a year since you’ve walked out his front door, the same one that you’d find yourself visiting and revisiting when you knew he wasn’t home.
It’s been a year since you last felt some semblance of happiness, a year since you’ve let out a genuine laugh, smiled from cheek-to-cheek. It’s been a year devoid of warmth: you shivered under the embrace of the summer sun, no longer noticed the blooming flowers that you had once loved so much. The world lost all its color. Fading into a bleak grayscale so far away, unreachable. No longer did you walk with a spring in your step, no longer did your eyes glimmer with galaxies that you’d once built with him. You were empty, a ship lost in the depths of the dark oceans. Floating, barely surviving, with no set destination. All you saw were never-ending, infinite oceans in all directions. No escape, no lighthouse. Just you. Alone. Pointless.
Your heart aches for him, the echo of a honeyed baritone, the ghost of his warm, muscular arms wrapped around your shoulders.
It’s for the best, you had thought. It’s for the best.
You squeeze your eyes shut, willing the thoughts out of your mind. There was too much, too many feelings, pent-up emotions. You weren’t a woman of emotions, never were, swore to never be, until you had met him. And he had changed everything.
Stop. This is getting ridiculous.
You needed to get on with your life, you think. There are too many things to think about, so many better thoughts requiring your attention. What were you doing, wasting your energy on him? It was time, you had decided, to end things once and for all.
The ticket machine snaps you out of your reverie, demanding it get paid. How much did the trip cost? You’ve forced yourself to forget, holed up all the memories too far into the shadows of your mind in your sheer desperation to evade the pain. You slot in a W10,000 bill, way too much, but better than having to remember. The machine happily eats up the cash, returning your card and sending you on your way.
You navigate the platforms, seeing the brightly-lit signs: Incheon line, Suin line, Bundang line. Then you see it, Platform 6, Gyeongwon line. South-bound to Soyosan, stopping at Iryeong. Your heart thumps, stomach twists, and you feel like throwing up. How many times had you once ascended these very steps with him, hand-in-hand, smiling to one another? How many times had you raced up these stairs, trying to get to the platform first? It’s too much, and you want to run. Run away from this place, from the thoughts and feelings.
No. You need this.
The winter air roughly brushes against your cheeks, hurrying you along.
What are you so afraid of?
Everything, you think. Everything. You’ve bound your heart in chains and locks, plastered it with thousands of bandages, one on top of the other. You’ve holed it away, willed it out of existence. You’re afraid of the memories, the emotions. You’re afraid of yourself.
Go. Just go. Get it over with.
You force your feet to move, one after another. You don’t think, you just move. Move onto the platform, move onto the train. You don’t realize that you’ve boarded the machine until you hear an all-too-familiar voice on the loudspeaker.
“This is the Special Rapid Train, on the Gyeongwon line, headed for Sosoyan. We will be stopping at Seokgye, Wolgye, Dobong and Iryeong. Please stay clear of the sliding doors!”
You vaguely see the blinking of lights and hear the shutting of the doors. The train picks up speed, clicking against the railroads. You are blank, a passenger on an endless journey. You sway when the train sways, stop when it stops. You don’t know how many stops have passed, having lost yourself in the familiar nothingness that had hollowed you out for the past year, until the speakers announce something about the next station being Dobong. You’re near, you realize. Too near.
Too soon does the train halt, birthing out and collecting new passengers as seats empty and taken once more in a matter of seconds. You watch this interchange with a bitter smile: how quickly he must have replaced you after you’d left, how he must’ve taken in another in your place.
Stop it.
Too engrossed in your thoughts, you don’t notice the closing of the doors and the blinking of the lights until you hear the loud system once more as the train starts to accelerate.
“Iryeong, Iryeong. Our next stop is Iryeong, please get off on the right side of the train.”
You are left suddenly hyper aware of your surroundings, watching as snow paints the ground white. The houses blur into trees and back into villages as you stare out the window, and you start to remember. You remember your hands intertwined, dancing in the snow, the click of a camera as the melodies of your laughs twirling in the air. You remember the snugness of his embrace, his earthy cologne, his smile, his lips pressed against yours…
Stop.
You tear your gaze away from the glass, staring down at your gloved hands fiddling in your lap. It’s been a year. It’s laughable how much and how little has changed. You’re different, yes, but yet so painfully similar to the girl who ran away. It’s funny how much of a difference, or lack thereof, a year can make, you think. It’s certainly been hard on you, and you find yourself wondering about him, about how maybe the year has changed him, how he’s doing, if he’s eating well, if…
Stop.
You’re hopeless, aren’t you?
You sigh and shut your eyes. You’re going crazy. Or maybe you’ve always been crazy. Your thoughts are feverish, a maelstrom in your mind. Involuntarily, you notice your feet rapidly tapping the metal bar to your side, vibrating against the pole. You feel the ghost of a touch on your thigh, hear the empty shell of his words, breathe, Y/N, breathe. What’s got you all worked up? And for a moment, just a moment, you feel his presence to your side, capture the warmth radiating off of his figure, and smile. Because it’s all okay when he’s here.
But he’s not.
You decide to focus on the sound of the railroads, staring down at the speckled floor of the train as the carriage undulates gently, side to side. You ride along, the train’s movements easing your own and you begin to lose yourself once again in the clacks of the rails, mind going blank, until you start to notice the slowing of the sounds. The train’s dance comes to a slow, inviting people to start getting up and shuffle towards the doors. Your heart sinks to your stomach. Not yet, not yet. It can’t be. It’s too soon.
The loudspeaker crackles to life, confirming your worst fears. “Arriving at Iryeong, please stay clear of the doors and exit on the right side of the train.”
Your legs move on their own accord, pulling you to a standing position as you grip the metal post with your life. The train continues to slow, eventually, painstakingly coming to a halt. You wish it never will, that it will continue on with its journey ahead. But it’s too late. The doors slide open, the sounds of the outside world whistle for you, calling you, urging you out of the comfort of the train. You don’t dare move, standing still as passengers trickle out, as the flashing lights start to appear, as the minute at the station starts to come to an end. The doors are closing in five. Four.
You twitch.
Three. Two.
“Wait!”
You rush out the doors, barely escaping the iron clasp of the metals that would’ve devoured you had you been a second too late. Behind you, the steel hisses as the vehicle exits the station, leaving you alone. So utterly alone.
You’re blessed with a moment of solitude, feeling nothing but the cold air chilling your face, until you realize where you are and why you’re here.
The bliss of being alone rapidly evaporates, and you’re hit with a speeding truck. The memories flood in; you’re winded, gasping for breath as you’re stormed with images, short clips of him, you, the pair of you. His smile, his laugh, his cheeks, eyes, nose. His breath tickling yours before he leans in for a kiss, his gentle, large hands cupping your face as you close your eyes…
Stop. Get a fucking grip, will you?
You force the color out of your mind as you make your way around the platform, empty now that everyone has gone. Your eyes graze against the pathetic, run-down station: the signs are only partially lit, the electricity having worn out. Your fingers run against the peeling, dirtied paint of the walls, dust bunnies catching onto your gloves. You scoff. This is pathetic. The floor is littered with plastics and old soda bottles, as if nobody’s been here to clean in too long. Graffiti smiles sadly back at you as you scan the fading walls, losing their life by the second. The bricks have faded into a musty brown, drab and uninteresting. Everything is so run down, so tired. You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you make your way to the minimart to your right, wanting a beverage to help warm your insides up.
The doors slide open with a gentle clink, altering the store of your presence. The cashier at the counter looks up at you through half-lidded eyes, barely acknowledging you, before returning to the drama playing on his cracked phone. The shelves are well-stocked, however, in stark contrast to the beaten-down appearance of this whole ordeal. You glide along the aisles, and everything is the same. Your favorite tea is still on the same shelf as it was all those months ago, his favorite gimbap in the bottom left corner of the chiller. Beef and sesame, he’d get, while you’d get a tuna for yourself, clinking your drinks and hearing the hiss of his cola opening, laughing as you made a mess of yourselves, two young fools madly in love. You’d talk, drink, eat for hours, whispering, dreaming and wishing, wondering what was going to come in the future, what you’d name your first puppy, whether you wanted a girl or a boy for your first child. Never would you have ever imagined that it would all end this way.
Stop it.
You grab your bottle of tea violently, almost knocking it over in your hurry to leave. You could no longer stay, not here, suffocating in your memories of him. You erased the gimbap out of your vision, ignoring it as you made your way to the counter, paying for your drink as the half-hearted employee handed you with your change. You mutter a thank you, unsure if he had even heard, and mindlessly make your way out of the store, too focused on keeping someone out of your head. You nearly bang into the glass doors in your haste, looking down and walking as fast as you can. Until your heart stops, that is.
You don’t dare look up, not now. The whole world slows to a stand-still, your gaze sharpening on nothing. Your heart is about to beat out of your chest, your lungs stop working. Electricity charges through the air and you’re left reeling, not knowing what to do.
Slowly, painfully, your neck raises, muscles straining with all their might. You already know what you’re going to see, who you’re going to see, but the sight of him still shocks you all the same. You nearly spill your drink all over yourself when you finally look up, and your brain goes into overdrive. You’re sure that your mouth is hanging open, jaw slack, but you can’t do anything about it. Your knees buckle, you can’t breathe, suffocating, wanting the ground to swallow you up at this very moment. You want to fall, tumble into an eternal tunnel. You are dizzy, light-headed, going crazy, you swear. You’re going crazy, aren’t you? This can’t be real, can it?
You can’t believe it. You’re drowning, drowning in those chocolate eyes, sinking into his pupils, losing yourself in his gorgeous features. You drink him all in, his own face mirroring yours, in no doubt absolute shock or maybe even despair, his deadly stare making your breath hitch as it once did so long ago. He’d never lost his power over you, after all. The world is suspended around you, all operations ceased as you both continue to stare into each other’s eyes, the tension so palpable that it threatens to devour you whole. Your larynx seems to be glued shut, your tongue a stone in your mouth. There are no words, no way to express this feeling that washes over you upon seeing him again.
“Y/N…”
His voice. Your ears ring with his deep baritone, honey to your ears. You can’t help it: you quite literally swoon, despite the circumstances. His voice: it ignites a fire within you, warm tendrils of heat rising up from your stomach. Vibrations send throughout your core, making you lightheaded and sure that you’re about to fall. You remember his timber next to you in the dead of light, comforting you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, it’s okay, it’s okay, breathe, it’s okay, you’re here with me.
You hug your arms around yourself, trying to keep it all in, retain the strange feeling that was now foreign to you after months of cold. It’s been too long, after all - you’ve gone too long deprived of this humanness, comfort that radiated off of him.
Things are different now, Y/N.
Yes, they are. Your mind goes berserk once more, considering all of the scenarios. Why is he here? He probably just needs to go to the minimart - no, why would he come all this way, he lives pretty far as well, or maybe he’s waiting on a friend, no, maybe he’s brought a new girlfriend, maybe she’s with him right now waiting to jump out of the shadows. Maybe they’re both exchanging looks right now when I’m not looking, laughing, taunting me, this girl from the past who doesn’t deserve to be here, maybe they all think I’m a joke now, what am I doing, why, why, why?
You’re so lost in your thoughts that when Taehyung addresses you once more, you’re violently jolted out of your mind and nearly fall backwards, body forgetting everything but the sound of his voice.
“Y/N…” he says again, forcing you to look up at him. Your name splinters through the air from his lips, cutting through the frost and straight into your chest; you notice now that his voice seems tired, that he seems tired.
You finally regain some semblance of control over your frozen tongue, lips moving in an attempt to emit a sound, any sound. Your lips wrap around the sole syllable that comes to you like muscle memory, the only one that you manage to choke out.
“T-Tae…”
Your voice cracks, unable to continue. The prolonged eye-contact has got you weak, his pupils boring into your soul. You look into his eyes, reciprocating, and you notice that maybe they’ve lost their golden sheen, that they no longer twinkle with constellations of stars. And it’s then that you realize: maybe the year has taken a toll on him too.
Look at what you’ve done to him.
“T-Tae, I, I, I…” you sputter out, guilt flooding your system like a drug. There was nothing you could say, nothing you could tell him to cheat yourself out of the situation or paint yourself in a better light like you’re so used to doing. You’re not used to feeling this powerless, this weak. Taehyung was the only one who saw through the facade, the only one who allowed you to feel vulnerable. You couldn’t lie to him, you knew you couldn’t; there was no wheedling, no bullshitting, no lying yourself out of any sticky situation, which had caused you this whole trouble in the first place. You ran because you were too much of a coward to talk to him, to confide in him. And look where that’s gotten you.
“Why are you here?” he asks, burying his head in his hands. “Y/N, why are you here?”
Why am I here? You don’t really know as well, there’s nothing that you can say to him. Why am I here? To get over him? How are you even going to tell him? He has to think that you’re over him, that it’s done. Stop torturing yourself, and stop dragging him through this mess of your life. Tell him that it’s done.
“I… I came because…”
Y/N, say something?
“I came because I… I was looking for you.”
What the fuck?
His head snaps up, his piercing stare catching your gaze once again. “You were looking for me?”
You feel your heart stop.
“Umm… well, I mean, no, but, no, well actually if I think about it now, yeah, yeah I was looking for you,” you stammer, unable to produce a single cohesive line of thought. “I was looking for you because I wanted to tell you that it’s over.”
Your own words are like a dagger twisting into your own heart and vaguely hear a choked sound breaking the awful, awful silence. Until you realize that it’s come from your own mouth, a sob that you hadn’t even realized that you were holding in.
A moment of charged silence goes by, yet louder than any noise that either of you could’ve let out. Never in your life has silence felt so utterly deafening, and you wish to cover your ears and scream it all out.
“You’re telling me this now?” Taehyung manages, features distorted in pain. “You’re telling me this now, a whole fucking year after you walk out the door without a single word to me?”
You look down at the ground, hating, blaming your traitorous mouth for saying something that you hadn’t fully thought through.
No, Y/N. You have to stop bringing everyone down.
You’ve lost all rational thought when you say, “yes, Taehyung. Yes. I had nothing to say to you then and nothing to say to you now. It’s done and it’s over.”
You couldn’t even say sorry?
The frosty wind brushes over the pair of you, causing you to shiver in your boots. You want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and disappear, pretend that this never happened, that this was all a bad dream.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see a security guard watching the whole exchanged with piqued interest. It’s none of your fucking business, you want to scream. It’s none of your fucking business. And yet you’re so humiliated, embarrassed at this whole mess that you’ve made of not only yourself but the situation in its entirety that you cannot muster up any words to merely defend yourself. You want to cry, sob, yell, scream.
“Fine, Y/N, it’s okay. You know what? It’s okay, you don’t owe me an explanation, you don’t owe me anything, not an apology, not a reason, not your love. It’s okay. It’s fine. Maybe you never loved me, saw me in the same way. Maybe I just assumed, maybe it was wrong of me to assume. Maybe I was too optimistic, too in love with you that I had forced myself to believe the story that I had made up in my head, that you were in love with me too. Maybe I had wanted it, wanted you so bad that I had made myself believe it. Made myself believe that you were in love with me.”
Your heart instinctually reaches out to him, drumming feverishly against your fragile ribcage. No, you want to scream. No, Taehyung, you couldn’t be more fucking wrong. He doesn’t know the way your heart beats for him in the dead of night, how the mere thought of him sends shivers down your spine, how every cell in your body, every thread of your being aches, yearns for his presence with every hour, every minute, every second.
You feel your heart breaking, splintering into thousands, millions of tiny little fragments raining down like shards of glass. It hurts, it hurts like hell.
“It’s okay, Y/N. Don’t force yourself into anything. There’s no need to anymore. There’s no more need to lie, no more need to pretend that you’re happy.”
“Thank you for telling me the truth.”
It’s not the truth, you want to cry. It’s not. It’s the farthest from it. But you return his look, tight-lipped. You nod, despite the swell of emotions that are threatening to cut you in half at this very moment.
“You’re welcome.”
He reciprocates your nod and slowly, painfully, tears his eyes from yours. He stands up, gingerly, as if hesitating, and you want to tell him to stop, to sit back down, that you’re lying to him, that you want him, that you want him more than anything in this world. But you don’t, and he continues onto his feet, sparing you one last gaze.
“At least I get to say goodbye,” he says, wistfully. “At least I now have the chance to say goodbye.”
You’re sure that tears are streaming down your face at this point, little trails of ice making their way down your blushed cheeks. Your lips are tight, and you cannot, for the life of you, return his look.
Before you can fully comprehend what’s happening, you know he’s here, the familiar hold of his arms, your face finding itself nestled on the same spot on his chest, right above his heart. You feel it beat, gently, slowly, under your ear, a comforting rhythm that you’ve too often fallen asleep to, whispered to. Your arms instinctually wrap around his waist, and his head settles on the crook of your neck, the curve of his nose gently kissing your delicate skin. His warmth radiates from under his coat, and you soak it all in, collecting as much as you can. You are two puzzle pieces, a perfect fit, and you will this moment into eternity, searing it into your memory, wishing for the world to stop, stop right now and leave you in this moment forever. You’ve been lost, wandering, and have finally come home.  
But forever doesn’t exist.
You’re struck with a blast of cold at his loss, feeling horribly empty. He steps away from you, and you’re almost certain that you see moisture in his eyes, tears threatening to break free. Every fiber of your being yearns for him, you want to reach out to him, extend the hug, shower him in kisses, make up and forget that this all even happened, but you’re too prideful. You can’t let yourself do this.
“Goodbye, Y/N. Thank you for everything.”
And just like that, he’s gone.
                                             [    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙    ]
11:42am, March 12 2021
[taehyung]
I miss you.
I miss you as the seasons come and go, I miss you as I watch the world going to shit, losing all hope. I miss you when the wind blows, taking me along like a pointless man, destined for nowhere. I’ll miss you eternally; I’ll miss you when all the ice melts into the ocean, I’ll miss you when everything’s finally disappeared and there’s utter nothing left for me.
I miss you in the brightest mornings and the darkest nights, when the sun comes out to play and the rain starts pelting down like there’s no tomorrow. I’ll miss you in the loneliest winters and the blooming springs.
Everything reminds me of you. I am stuck in this eternal frost without you here; your loss has trapped me into this winter forever. I am slowly losing feel of my limbs as they succumb to the cold around me - everything has frozen into place, trapping me into the confines of this perpetual season. The world is closing in, I have nowhere to go, nothing to do. No longer do I have you to lead me out of this snow, no longer do I have you to hold my hand and bring me warmth through it all.
Why did you have to go?
Baby, did you know how much pain I’d be in when you’d left? Did you know how much it would hurt, how you’ve trapped me into this never-ending arctic, leaving me behind to freeze?
Did you know when you chose to go?
You’ve left me in ruins, my love. I can’t continue without you. I’m struggling to breathe, suffocating, as the world collapses inwards, threatening to bury me alive. I wait for you everyday, through all of the grief, the pain. I still wait for the day that you come back, that I get to see your face again.
Or maybe I’m a dumbass. I don’t know. Have you changed? Or is it I who has? Or perhaps, us both? I’m still a lovesick fool for you, Y/N, that I can tell you for sure. I can’t stop thinking of you, as the days pass, sun and moon taking their turns in the sky. I’m left, suffering in this darkness, bleakness without you here. I wonder if you’ll still be there at the end, when all ceases to exist. I wonder if I’ll see you again; how much more do I have to wait? How many more sleepless nights will have to pass before I can lay my eyes upon you again? How many days, months, years do I have to hold back before I get to feel you, touch you, kiss you, one more time?
Or maybe I’m being optimistic. You know what, Y/N, I’ll never see you again, maybe you’re better off without me. Maybe it’s all for the best, maybe it’s time for me to move on, maybe it’s time for you to move on. Maybe it really was not meant to be, maybe you really weren’t the one for me.
Then why can’t I get you out of my head?
Y/N, I wish I could just forget you. I wish you never existed, I wish I had never gotten to know you. Then it would be so much easier for me. I wish that you had ignored me, that you had turned me down when you had the chance. It would’ve been the most pain that I’d feel at the time, but believe me, it’s nothing compared to this.
Now I can’t get rid of you, no matter how hard I try. You’re there, you’re there when I lie down and close my eyes for the night, you’re there at work, hiding behind my papers and my laptop, waiting to take me out to lunch. You’re everywhere, baby, you’re in the car, riding shotgun and racing to connect to Bluetooth first, singing at the top of your lungs as we speed down the highway like the reckless teenagers that we were. I see you, hair tangled by the wind, belting out your favorite lyrics out of the roof of my convertible. And I remember thinking, for the hundredth time that night, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Damnit, Y/N, you’re standing by the mirror every morning when I get ready for my meetings, dainty fingers straightening my tie and planting a kiss on my lips. You got this, lover boy.
You’re there, and then you’re not. You flicker between reality and imagination, I cannot discern whether I’m living in a fever dream or simply hallucinating. You’re slipping through my hands like grains of sand: I’m losing more of you by the second, can’t seem to hold on to you. You’re disappearing, getting further and further away as all I can do is watch helplessly as you fall through my fingers.
Where are you now, Y/N?
I worry about you, I worry whether you’ve eaten well, whether you’ve slept well, whether you’ve had a good day at the office. Have you seen your parents lately? Have you had some time to yourself over the past days, have you overworked yourself as you often tend to do? Are you taking care of yourself?
Is it selfish of me to be wishing for you, thinking of you after all this time? Tell me, Y/N, is it wrong of me to be wanting you despite it having been over for so long now? You’ve probably moved on by now, considering how long it’s already been. Maybe you’ve met someone new, maybe you’re in love with someone else, maybe I’ve already been replaced with another man in your life.
Maybe I treated you wrong, maybe you didn’t feel like I loved you enough, maybe I didn’t make you feel special enough. I wish, Y/N, I wish that I could turn back time for you, I wish I could go back and be better for you, that I could fix all of the mistakes that I’ve made, wipe all of the tears that you might’ve cried for me, swallow up all of the pain that must’ve been plaguing you, to suck up the hurt that you were feeling back then. I wish you could give me all of the pain, I wish that I could’ve carried it all for you, shielded you from it all like how I should’ve done.
But it’s too late now, isn’t it?
You’ve met someone else by now, you’re laughing, smiling, whispering with another, kissing someone else’s lips, in love with your new man. And I’m still here, trying to get over you like the pathetic loser that I am. There are so many regrets, so many things that I wish that I could still tell you, so many errors, mistakes that I made. It’s all my fault. I want nothing more than to be able to get on my knees in front of you and apologize for everything. There are so many more words, so many moments that I want nothing more than to be spending with you.
I’m still in love with you.
I think I always will be, Y/N. I know it’s selfish of me. I really can’t help it. I’m sorry.
You came into my life like a whirlwind, taking all of me along for the ride. And now that you’re gone, I don’t know what to do with myself no longer. I’ve been swept away with you and my fate will forever be left in your hands. There’s nothing left for me here, not in my work nor art. All that’s left is you. You are the only thing keeping me going now - I live another day, endure another night hoping for you, waiting for the day that I will finally see you again. I open my eyes for you in the mornings, in hopes of laying them upon your figure once more.
Maybe it’ll all be for nothing, I know. Maybe I’ll never see you again. But there’s nothing left for me, remember? I’m willing to take my chance. For when I finally do see you once more, it will all be worth it.
I miss you, Y/N. I miss you so fucking much. My heart beats for you, my lungs breathe for you. My every cell in my entire being aches so desperately for you, for you and you only. And so I’ll wait for you. I promise. I’ll be here for you, waiting for the day that I get to catch a glimpse of you, to be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, for when you need even the littlest, tiniest thing. I’m ready to give you the world, baby. I’m ready to right all my wrongs, to treat you like the fucking queen that you are. I’m going to treat you the way that you deserve.
When that time comes, my heart will be happy. When the time comes that I see you again, that I hear your voice again, your laugh again, it’ll be okay. All this pain will fade away to nothing. Don’t worry about me, darling, I’ll always be here, waiting. Waiting for you, until the end.
I promise.
                                                    ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
an: i hope you liked it!!!! <3 please please please leave feedback my loves!
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fiesty-fishbiscuit · 2 years
Note
Apex Fandom Ask :D
oh perfect!
alrighty
first character that i fell in love with
im sure this will come as a complete surprise but it was 100% horizon. literally watching her cinematic was the reason i even got the game akbrnr
character that i didn't expect to like as much as i do now
also very surprising (/s) but for the first month or so of being into apex i had a deep burning hatred for ash (mostly bc of the above point lol) (that didnt really age well at all.)
character that everyone loves but i dont
eeeh idk? i guess caustic, i just dont vibe with him at all. honestly there are very few legends that i properly dislike??
character that i love that everyone hates
valk- i dont really see what people have against her personally (she was the second character i unlocked after horizon so i have a bit of a soft spot for her) ah well. each to their own ig!
character that i used to love but now dont
nobody! (so far- i havent been in the fandom for that long yet)
character that i would smooch
horizon. no elaboration needed.
character that id want to be like
honestly i havent thought about this one that much but wattson comes to mind first so
character that i'd slap
revenant obviously. rip my hands but itd be worth it.
pairing that i love
there are a lot of good ships in apex but i love fusehound in particular <3
pairing that i despise
honestly im not really the type to get overly mad over shipping (unless its something so Weird and gross it shouldnt even be considered a ship in the first place) but if there's one legitimate ship that i absolutely hate its ash/revenant. i dont know the ship name and i dont care to find out.
thanks for the ask!! :)
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