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#Idc if theyre not emotional like me but they have to have an level of empathy and understanding so they can at least try to understand me
bangcakes · 11 days
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messaged my friends last week like hey ik its been less than a week but i Need to see you guys i feel like a Lot has happened. but now its been a week and im like. Fuck. now i have to go through Everything and i dont remember it all JDJDXJZNNXMZ
#personal#NDJJDMSMSM should have just asked them to hang out n not said i have something to Say DNXJDNJZJD a story to TELL#bc fuxk..... now theyre gonna ask n what if i dont feel like talking about it NDJDJDJDJDJDJZJ#when i talk about Him i feel like. out Loud. i have to be like. in a Certain State bc i get So....#i turn into a Mess and things dont come out properly NDNDNNXNZNZNZZ#plus NDJXZMMZMZMZJX idk sometimes i wanna keep some things to myself NDNDNNDNDND#its so embarassing to turn from the friend that was like lol idc about any guys im gonna be single. to like. the friend Obsessed with a man#JZJZJZMZMZMZ you know what i mean its just NDNMZMZMZMZMZMZMZ#but actually now that i think about it. we've known each other since hs so its like. theyve seen me with a crush b4#the Issue is that this is Like. at Unexplainable levels NDNDNDNDNND#like i think this id past crush territory. and i think its also Mutual#IDK DJDJDJDJSJZJ this is so.... but the only one who knows wtf im talking about is my mom#like at least i have that. but ya NDMDMDMDMDMD#talkin about if face to face with anyone else is just..... A Lot#and i get so embarassed. idk i just dont like being That Emotional#i like showin up and being Funny. i dont wanna bring like. JDJJDJDKZ IDK#i dont think im even explaining it properly here. bc i also like have a huge aversion to attention and like. when my friends are lookin at#me im just like omg omg...... i have to TALK???? and then its something so emptional. idk its just JJDJDJDJJDJSJZN#n e way
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blinky-skyd · 2 years
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just got to try the testfire demo!! some liveblogging & notes below, they dont include everything cus i made this just for fun :]  spoilers!! 
-u can push jellies around :D they make bloopier sounds
-we have new voice lines and returning voice lines! (the new veemo is so CUTEEEE)
-feels great to just. climb up the stairs and have more platforming areas (not rlly platforming but like. jump on top of things)
-THERE IS SO MUCH LITTERINGGGGGGG
-the animation of the inklings/octolings dancing while recording w their phones is so cute
-multiplayer maps and modes have been updated! has a new ring now
-AHH GRIZZCO MY BELOVED (its closed)
-theres....a creepy octoling outside of grizzco w the weirdest animation LOL like slouching and rubbing their hands together NINTENDO WHAT IS THIS
-murch in-game is so... i kinda love him
-I SAW THE IDOLS!!!! they have a director jelly there surprisingly! their animations are incredible expressive.... like u can tell theyre telling each other stories, laughing, moving, gesturing & reacting in different ways, i love it so much, i could watch it for hours. fryes ears wiggle when she shakes her head im crying
-THERES SO MANY CLOSED OFF AREAS LET ME INNNN
-SHELDIEEEEE I MISSED UUUU UR SHOP LOOKS INCREDIBLE
-omg harmonys voice....AAA SHE SOUNDS LIKE A VOCALOID
-the entrance to hotlantis sounds so nice too, kept going back and forth for the sound
-the music inside gnarly eddies shop....actual masterpiece
-i wasnt sold on this dude as much before but i rlly dig eddie. and his snail
- A......THATS MR COCOS VOICE !?!?!??!
-oh hes sweet.....he tallks to u so sweetly like a gentle giant. ilu mr coco
-UGH LET ME TALK TO MR GRIZZZZZZZZZZ IDC ABOUT PLAYING HE CAN TELL ME IM LOW LEVELED TOO FOR ALL I CARE
-holy smokes the changing gear menu loads so much faster now
-OHH we get free weapons, headgear and shoes! for shirts tho we only get the splatfest tee and the torn up shirt
-it doesnt make a noise when u zoom in/out on gear in this :(
-we have new gear and old gear! THERES A COWBOY HAT CALLED HOWDY HAT?!?!?!?!?!?
-the inkbrush and octobrush jiggle so much when u switch to them 😳
-SLOSHER IS GLITTERY........AAA
-the single emote u get is different for every weapon type omg.. i need a video of all of them compiled. but this means that future emotes all will be different as well based on the weapon? maybe
-THE BRELLA POSE IS SO COOL
-some of these animations are ridiculous cus they like pause mid air to shoot. i love it
-ive concluded that octos need more hairstyles stat
-ive done all that the game allows me so far, now im gonna go stare at everything and every detail closer and analyze it for myself. good nighte
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mrfoox · 3 years
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Me: im only alive for love
Also me: -doesn't actively look for it or have the energy to invest it either-
#miranda talking shit#Does this makes any sense? ? Like yeah my reason for being alive is people i love and id like to find someone to share life with?#But what am i doing ? Wasting away in bed of course what else? I know its my depression but like.... I hate it....#I want to get to know more intresting people and maybe if im lucky find someone which likes me back....#But it takes so much energy it's sad... Like i want to sit and talk under a tree by a lake with my love... I want to feed random cows#Or horses we pass by on a walk... I just want to hold them and love them ????#I know everyone have some idea if their 'ideal' partner but mine is like .... Uh... The emotional qualities are the biggest thing to me#Idc if theyre not emotional like me but they have to have an level of empathy and understanding so they can at least try to understand me?#We donr have to share all intrests but id like us to have something and that our energy levels aren't complete opposites#Those are like the.... Big three....? The rest im pretty flexible with but people that arent open and understand like... I have no patience#I just know what i don't ... Need? Or maybe want? Because my first relationship was really so many clashes thinking about it exhaust me#Im an introvert and im constantly tired and ready to sleep ... Ideally i wouldn't have someone that excatly the same bc then we'd never go#Out but also like... I get so tired with people that always wants to go out and do something like damn ....#Need a best friend thats a freak and ready to date me :/ literally my ideal relationship is from friends to lovers and nothing else#How do i know you like me if we arent friends first? Nah man... We need to talk about stuff first and be friends ahjfjsnfjfksks
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sikereviewdotcom · 4 years
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strawberry shortcake s2 ep1 - horse of a different color
this one was suggested by someone who couldnt keep their mouth shut and not sing the strawberry shortcake intro theme in the middle of our economy class
no one wanted to hear that, but they  went ahead and then i actually followed up on that train of thoughts i remembered about the fucking cartoons and i knew it pronto: its a must-see shit its like slightly above the level of magical school bus series, but the final rating is for the fin not the beginning so lets begin this horseshit:
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were reviewing “horse of a different color”, it focuses indeed on strawberrys horse, honey pie pony (its her entire damn name, how sweet right? like all of them, i got diabete from this review but its the cost of maintaining this blog anyway, the kids are playing together on a that tree having fun jumping around like chimpanzees hooba hooba but sadly our filly quickly realizes she cant play king kong with them and keep falling on her ass,
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yet since theyre all retarded or young (id say its a fifty-fifty case for them kinda normal ig, i mean they ARE literal 6yo) they try several ways of getting her up on that tree, not thinking how to get her down if they ever were to succeed (good for them: aint happening) its child labor too btw, from an horse still same deal what if honey pie fell down on them? crushing them corpses with her mighty pounds? the findus company would be delighted to hear such news, im sure its some quality (sweet ass) horse meat
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once it all fails she understands a horse isnt meant to climb a tree, too big too fat its four legged, not even entertaining the relationship giraffes have with trees
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but it aint over, then (after a talk with herself) hp hears the laughters of a bunch of kids which catches her attention, it always does who can ignore that sorta noise? although she aint annoyed by it shes just into the idea of riding a bike now, shes even gonna get a go at it oh yea thats it we finally found her human hobby gogdamn shes a backward furry
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of course it fails aswell since she has no hand for the handle and shes heavy so i guess its the reason why she rides into w/e and cant stop? because otherwise she couldve also just.. actually it makes no sense does it? i mean she couldve easily stopped the ride actually how is that kid bike even holding her? ive never tried putting a pony on a bike for 6 y/o but i doubt about its capacity in not being crushed aswell as i doubt in the kids bones not being severely damaged after a visit under honey pies horsy buttcheeks
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but all of that really makes her sad: she cant play with her human friends and shes the only horse around strawberry land or whatever see me tearing it for her, theres so much emotions in this episode especially after that filly trynna get kids to get into some horseplay horseshit like dude theyre only 6, lets go easy on them, might have a problem with the parents of the kids watching this episode no one even thought how fucked up this one part is? sure horseplay isnt only sexual or w/e but it still is the visual of 6yos on all four jumping around and neighing together with their ass a little bit too exposed wow im going on a dangerous road here? aint i? not gonna sue the writers im sure it was their subconscious speaking probably got issues from their childhood, eventually got them sorted out since 2004 what do i know? aside from me not caring
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back on track : after seeing horsey being so sad the kiddos decide to get her a horse friend but where the fuck? they got no idea, they are proud nonetheless and go tell honey the good new until they are like “wait but we have no idea where to find horses!” ofc we get a big reveal, some serious strawberry shortcake lore: actually all the horses, ALL OF THEM FROM THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET are on one (1) single island: ice cream themed to diversify it all they are just chilling over there in ponyland and for some reason this one here got lost or idk guys she took the boat and checked the rest of the world out as an even younger filly, found strawberry and her friends and decided now she was a centaur  slash humanrry furry human, idk you get it but shes their friend and so on to introduce the concept of an AWESOME island full of equestrian activity and ofc ice cream but its kinda lame because who cares? everythings already made out of food, also why isnt the ice cream melting? its one water? nevermind for the introduction as i was saying, hp sings an horrendous sounding song it deteriorated my ear drums they got pierced or something  or maybe im exagerrating? either case horses cant sing:
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so to the ice cream land they go, huh
of course it wouldnt be a big adventure without an almost broken bridge oh no whatever shall we do? could we possibly cross it safely? lets try it out  guys: yay it worked good for us little stress and suspense it was wack how they got honey pie out of the hole her big ass hoove made im mesmerized by the power of friendship and sugar at this point, just in full awe for the rest of the episode probably over dosed on all the ice cream flavoured horseshit, i got some all over my mouth its dripping on my desk i gotta clean that later
next thing we know: horses its all this episode is about (aside from labor) but you see, so far hp would switch between normal human language and neighing well turns out her other fellow equines can only neigh and so they just neigh together while our english well-spoken mammal translates to the moronic kids who just smile smuggly
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of course the animals are having a welcome party then, dancing around while the morons are just bored, harsh one being a cartoon character isnt it guys? w/e theyre gonna ask for honey pie to come back home now, convinced that her natural habit isnt her place and she loves them too much to just leave them and never come back and break any plans they ever had together- oh shit looks like shes leaving forever huh? what a plot twist mark that on the bitch quota for today
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the first one to leave is the little boy btw, important thing to note: hes the biggest pussy he cant even face reality: oh no, no more pony back time before sleep thats quite a bummer, downer and man how are they going to survive now they got no animal to watch over them? jesus theyre soon, on the boat (idk where they got it from idk why suddenly theyre on a boat because then theyre once again gonna cross that bridge but ok) anyway yea theyre having a relationship crisis during that ship trip yada yada ah and the bridge, because (see i do not call them morons for now reasons obviously they deserve this title not only because theyre 6 but also because they are just daft:) they proceed, once in the middle of the bridge all 4 of them, to stop and wonder
“will the bridge be able to hold all of us? wont it break? damn i wonder if it will crack” and they talks without moving until vlam: a tree comes and breaks it (dont ask) so now theyre in trouble:
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back to ponyland: bitch pie realizes how much she misses her actual friends and that she can speak english which her other horse friends cant do so she is special and probably abnormal, shes a big outcat of the pony society and has no other reason but to escape her incoming death sentence for fraternizing with the humans of course none of the second part is true, she just wants to see the kids again so she says asta la vista baby to the neigher team and runs away see, she hasnt taken the boat and yet also arrive to the bridge? why a boat sequence then? i will skip this for now but it WILL play in the rating, imagine im the parent of the youngster watching this crap and i have to endure it
if it sucks this bad and is this illogical i might just get bored and change the channel, idc my progeny aint gonna be watching this in either case, ill make them watch political debates then interrogate them on what they learned after what but it wasnt actual political debates just random furry youtuber venting with their fursona sprites animated and thats how you make your kids retarded, the kick of this joke is that i aint planning on getting any kids but totally gonna make them watch classics too such as the attack of the killer donuts as soon as they reach 6 so they wont be dumb and probably not getting diabete or w/e in their adulthood
then honey pie saves the kids btw all of them, heavy shit
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and they all go back to strawberryland, happily after a big “wow i missed you sm, you are my real friends w/e if you dont look like me i aint speciest guys really!” theyre all vegan too btw so this works for them i havent watched enough strawberry shortcake episodes to know if they ever eat meat but i have doubts seeing how theyre into a very cannibalistic diet which include eating dessert when obviously thats what they are at least half part, this cartoon raises a lot of political questions it may have a deeper value than i first attributed to it
the end: another terrible song plays about horseshit and how tasty it is
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thats all folks
so the rating: big 6/10, so you know 5/10 if its a decent kid show where im highly eager to click on the x and get back making jams but nah
surprisingly enough, i only wanted to stop watching half of the episode and not the entirity of it so credits for thats since im an adult and not a kid, imagining kids enjoyed this sweet childish cartooness or w/e now why +1? its because of how many political questions it raised, how it made me think about our society and cakes yknow its more than kids having a conflict with an horse it talks about veganism, specism, handicap, cannibalism, the management of the limited ressources were exploiting and so on yea really makes you think, its subliminal messages to make kids smarter: they watch their dessert-imbecile counterparts doing bs and then get it right irl: good  ah- it also makes it better for you when youre watching this with your kid, you suddenly transcend to another level of spirituality, existential crisis activated or at least reasoning mode or w/e youre willing to name this the point is you arent bored still despite all of this i rated it quite low for such a serious kid cartoon what couldve possibly made me tic? 1) kids are morons and cant understand all of this, not clear enough for the targeted public 2) projection onto the characters/dialogues from the writers of their childhood traumas (the horse play event didnt go unnoticed, karren brown) 3) my little pony ripoff 4) its controversial, our society, especially in 2004 couldnt understand the depth of this shit and finally 5) i got so much ice cream flavoured horseshit all over my desk god help me this is so filthy what a fucking mess i would totally recommand it to anyone who feels like being blown away by the statements made in this work of art 6/10 but really we all know in the future, itll be a 9/10, some ahead-of-its-time-crap
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tg, out
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Dejoria said "well I have my dad" But anyways The cop said they would take care of her and then they asked me and I said she has to earn it, just depends on what she's doing with her life. And it's in regards to overriding the prison if they make mistakes such as in this case. She sounded depressed at that but I told her she's been doing better She said she hit the wall And so I said let's talk about that. She said to write it. "I hit the wall and I felt sudden "what the fuck, fuck you God!" But then I said "sorry sorry but what did I do wrong?" As If I didn't know which I did, i had been bad. But I got off the wall and I realized that I had hit it, I was all "you hit it, you hit it. I hit it, I got that but why?!?!" So I wanted to talk to you but I knew not to because you would not understand or you wouldn't care but maybe you would see it later and come ask me what about it or maybe yell but I was hoping ask me as you did. I did good in not bothering you, didn't I?" "Mmhmm I saw your face in the video, after I could tell you were holding it in" "Well thank you! You think I did good?!" "Actually yes. You looked down right pleasant" Matt laughs. "She says it's so surprising!" " Now back to Dejoria, anyways so I was wanting o bother you so bad! But I knew it wasn't you but I said "God if it wasn't her don't let me see her and I didn't!" "I know I was surprised to see it later I was all woah she didn't even say shit usually she screams or something" Matt laughs again "Anyways so that's why I wanted to talk to you and that's it." Alrighty then. I heard she had been a bad girl the night before but I had also talked to her and she had expressed displeasure at Jesse James, saying she didn't go out with the girls cause she either opens her mouth and says something stupid or because Jesse is always trying to sabotage her. Which is why I kinda wondered after seeing it if Jesse had altered something for the steering or wheels or weight or something to cause it to drift. So I guess she could went out and rebelled/revenged against the world and done stupid shit or Jesse could went with her and did it too. IDK. I heard it was just her being very bad. And so it's really stupid for her to do that because I heard she been doing good. IDK. IDK I hope she had really been good since her last wreck and so now she had to learn again that she cannot be a bad girl or else. Or maybe it wasn't exactly her being bad or maybe it was just her being tempted. IDK what happened. I wasn't told anything exactly definite. I would suppose the level of pain she felt would determine the level of bad/evil she let herself experience. Or maybe it was something else altogether. I'm very tired. Last race weekend was ridiculous and I could not wait for it to be over. I'm glad some points were made about things but I was just so happy when people shut up and left me alone. And so because I was nice in my after discussion she told me she just thought it. And so she knows it was just a lesson to behave and that's all. She's doing really good. Not everyone can change and grow and decide to do better. She knew what she was doing was just getting more evidence for a longer prison sentence but didn't care. Until her hip broke. Then she knew. Lucky for her she may be pacing herself into, not quite Heaven yet, but in a much nicer place for herself after death. For instance, Jesse makes my life hell. When he's dead, he will be repaid a tenfold plus then he has to repay all the millions of money he made, because God chose to bless him instead of punish him but Jesse could not and would not appreciate that I'm actually really proud of Dejoria. I really am. I'm happy. I am so so so happy to be proud of her because I truly believed that I would never ever ever be even a tiny bit proud of her and always feel that she was doing things to show up, to be fancy, like someone who tries to hide they grew up in a trailer park and so use a fancy English accent (someone may say I did that but I got the accent from the lady on PBS cause I for real liked her cause she was totally sweet and awesome) I just always thought she would be fake. So I'm so pleasantly surprised And I'm glad that makes her feel better that my emotions about her are positive. Because that shows alot of growth. Like one time I told her I loved he several years ago. I thought she hated that enough to kill me. I was just in a good mood and she said she was going to go to sleep which meant she was leaving and would be gone and I was all yay I love you! It was just random and spontaneous and whoa yeah she was not happy. She thought I was lying I was just being honest. She was being cool that night. I love my enemies. As much as I hate them, I want them to do better I hate they annoy me. I want them to do better Doesn't mean I like them or I won't go back to "Being mean" I just want everyone to do better If they bug the shit out of me and they quit. Idc If they win a million dollars on the lotto. Because I already won. I got peace AND quiet. That's all I fucking want. That's why people are stupid to say I'm jealous. People don't understand me. Especially in the NHRA. they just don't get it. They're too competitive. If someone else wins then it means they lost. It's just not true. That's why I like to interpret accidents or wins or what ever. So that people can see a more distinct life than winning or losing. Like Dejoria. She didn't just get into an accident. She learned something. Something that SHOULD help her for the rest of her life. To teach her. To learn. She says it helps. The other day my aunt called and said her trailer broke down and asked me to go see about it. My aunt and I fell out a very long time ago and we just hadn't been able to reclick. Despite probably losing some expensive things she got from her dad's death, we were able to reclick. I feel so much better. I had no idea how much I needed that reclick. It was desperate. It's just a personal thing. But I mean it so totally sucked for her to lose that stuff. Turns out she has no idea where she left it and was not near where I was at all so it didn't help her at all to get her stuff. But she told me, you know, of course she was crying because she totally loved her awesome dad and wanted a few things, she said she just wanted love. And so she was happy I tried everything I could to find it although she didn't get Jack shit. We found each other and to her that's most important and to her own father as well. That's the kind of person I am as well. It's not fun and it totally sucks. But I'm hoping that cops helped out and stuff. IDK. Anyways. We will see. They often get my stuff I leave random places and they put it in storage for me, to prove theyre not just stalkers but also trustworthy. And that I have amnesia. So I hope they got it for her. I asked. So hopefully we can put a big tearful smile on her face. It will mine. So I just wanted to say my "boyfriend's" wreck two weeks ago was not because he was bad. When Courtney wrecks and I bring it up, it's because an issue in her family (her mom, most often) It's a lesson. It's serious. But bad things don't just happen to bad people. My aunt is absolutely amazing. She's loving and kind and so so so so smart although my mom says the most horrible things about her (my mom is jealous). I can't say enough about my aunt And for the record. She is not my biological aunt, she married my uncle whom as abusive to her and she left him. Crazy huh? But totally true. She's one of my most favorite people. (Leave her alone or I'll kick your ass) So Dejoria admits to being tempted and that makes her a bad girl. She should not let people make her want to hurt herself by hurting other people. It's not okay. Hurting herself and hurting others are both bad things. Okay so. Life is what you make it. Want love or want power. Want to steal magic powers of a small child, it's wrong plus dumb because it's a lie. Go to church. Learn God. Don't fuck with a kid. And because bad things happen it doesn't mean that nothing good ever will. Sometimes it means that something even more amazing will occur that would had never happened other wise. And it's not just me creating miracles. I need them, too. I'm human just as well as anyone else
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survivormarmoreal · 5 years
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Episode #13: "im so EMO (TION)" - Bryce
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I cant believe that im still here. And we have majority. 3 vs 2. Matt is coming to me know saying that he wants to work with me but like. Bruh. But that could be good tho having him. I have to see what happens with immunity first.
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OKOKOKOK CAN WE JUST DISCUSS HOW AM I A FUCKING GOAT. FIRST OF ALL Jock destroyers was a pretty dominant alliance i played a SNITCH RAT GAME with exposing plans and i was lied to but like can i get some credit here like first of all it was my fucking ideal to even force a tie, bryce wanted sharky out he didn't want rocks i wanted rocks when my ass was literally on the line here and i was still willing to go to rocks because i don't want to be a fucking goat and do what bryce or sharky wants this is the only way i could get brian SHARKYS #1 ALLY out of the game so that you know who sharky's #1 ALLY IS NOW FUCKING ME. so you know what yeah i'm a goat, greatest of all time actually and i at least deserve some level of credit or respect here to pull some shit off like this. only person on the fucking tribe with the balls to do this shit and i don't even have balls. OK BYE.
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i literally dont have words. i keep having meltdowns and like its so not like me i usually just treat games as fun but im just so upset bc brian went home when we could have prevented it and now im in a spot where annabelle and sharky control things and im basically going to get 5th. i really thought i was doing something and life came at me real quick and said learn ur place KJFSHKJDFHSKJ. like the play anna made was smart so go her i just hate that i got played and that brian left with the vote steal and that my game is ruined and i came so far and i thought i was playing alright also i hate how everyone and their mother keeps calling me out for playing the middle KJSFHFKS like grow up and shade me in ur confessionals not to my face im SENSITIVE AUBRY. basically the point is: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/506665419092918273/541697763788980225/image0.jpg
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I'm SHOCKED. I swore to Annabelle I wouldn't right her name down. And yet she writes my name down! And just as I was thinking I could trust Bryce HE RALLIES VOTES AGAINST ME! I'm so pissed off, and scared, and hurt, and now I have to scramble to figure something out.
Okay let recap everything that has gone down in this 24 hours since I was betrayed. So I talked to Annabelle A LOT. Basically we've talked to each other a ton. I discover that Anna made the plan for the tie and then Bryce was only willing to flip if the vote was for me. SHADY. I knew I should have never trusted him. So basically either I convince Annabelle to save me, everyone goes to rocks, or Matt and Brian flip on me and I go home. I would have said the last one was super unlikely. So I start busting my ass to sway Annabelle. We have really opened up to each other about our games, she is feeling like she has to make a big move. I talked to her about how I feel hurt because I've busted my ass all game to save Anna and Matt and now they both seem unwilling to save me. I tell the guys we just have to be nice but imply to her she stands no shot of making the end without me and how Bryce is going to win. She has no idea we have the vote steal so Brian/Matt would definitely get Bryce out next. So I go to sleep thinking we are making progress. I wake up an Anna is like "Matt was rude to me so I'm definitely not flipping" so I'm starting to feel really hopeless. And then Matt and Brian both started to dodge the idea of rocks. And Anna is telling me Bryce thinks Matt is probably going to flip. So i'm thinking it's over. And in the FB Bois chat Matt and Brian both keep being like "I'm so conflicted" "we'd be guaranteed f4" "blah blah blah" So now I'm realizing these two aren't willing to go to rocks for me. I've spent this whole season trying to save our alliance at any cost. And now that I'm the one in danger...they aren't willing to take the risk. SO now I get it. I've been too nice. If they are going to put their games above mine and aren't willing to risk it so all 3 of us can make F5...I'm going to have to make sure we take that risk because it's my only shot. So I pitch to Anna a way she can get her rocks and I can be safe. We tell them that Anna agrees to save me. That way they think were set and it'll all work out and then it'll go to rocks and I'll be safe. It's super risky and I'm putting all my faith in Annabelle and I feel so scared and guilty and idk but this is the only way I survive and there is a chance Anna goes and it all works out. But...it's also not lost on me that Anna is willing to risk her own game to save me...but my own alliance isn't. I'm feeling...weird.
Brian went home. I...honestly am just feeling horrible. And he was so mad at me. Like mad to the point that I'm worried I ruined a real life friendship over this game. And Matt is furious too and he's going off on me in our group chat which fucking sucks. Like that was the worst case scenario for me. And it sucks. But I shouldn't have to feel bad about this. Like both Brian and Matt were willing to vote me out so they didn't have to go to rocks. They put their game first so why am I a villain for doing the same thing? And they want to be like "we were up front with you about not being sure" like that's supposed to make me feel better. Yeah of course you were honest you weren't the ones in danger. It's easy for y'all to be honest when you're just going to vote me out. I couldn't have been honest with them or they would have flipped and I would have gone home. How do they not see that? Was I supposed to just give up? How is that fair? And how is it that they can vote me out and I just have to accept that but they can't accept that I saved myself. I'm feeling super alone, like I can't trust anybody, and like my best friends won't even take a second to look at it from my point of view. Of course I feel terrible. I just hope this doesn't come between genuine friendships.
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ANNA REALLY JUST CLOCKS ME AND SHE KNOW SHE CAN BC WHAT ELSE AM I GOING TO DO. me matt maynor better be this f3 matt might win tbh but idc! anna has CROSSED ME and like laughs in my face FKJADSHFKAJ like yes ur iconic yes u did #that but im in this game with u and its a lil rude to flaunt ur success at me FKJADSHFAKJ when i do sth good i would never constantly bring it up (btw i won immunity once and got that cute blue color so everyone is jealous prob...) also im so emo i miss dennis and i miss brian they were the 2 ppl who i felt close to in the game and theyre both gone i literally am so upset i feel like if i wasnt so busy before tribal i could have talked to brian more and convinced him he had to vote sharky bc i KNEW anna was voting sharky but he bought her lies and i was convincing enough so i just feel its my fault i lost my closest ally (and his vote steal) although maybe he would have beat me in the end so this is good thing? nope! like i think i played alright in the middle but ppl prob wont respect it and idk if i would bc clearly im biased and maybe i am just a goat and thats why im still in like i rly tried to do sth this round but didnt i just ugh so demotivated hehe but maybe ill snap or sth insert positive uplifting quote here i just hope that i can turn this around and defeat anna and her pet shark. ALTHOUGH ITS LIKE WHERE THE BIG DOG PULLS ITS OWNER AND WALKS IT INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND. im so EMO (TION)
yesterday i was feeling a LOT of emotions and now that i have distanced myself i realize that my emotions were VALID and i am perfect and had the RIGHT to be upset that everything went wrong. i am speaking my immunity win into existence it WILL happen. i HAVE done the homework and even if i flop it (which i wont) i will still NOT GO HOME bc matt and maynor are hopefully on my side. OK BUT LIKE IM JUST SO JKAFSHKAJDSFHADSKFJA
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This immunity is very important. We cant let Matt or Sharky win it. We need to have the opinion for them available to be voted out.
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So like.... I am upset and feel very alone now in this game. Brian got rocked out and i was lied to again. I am just like so over it. I feel manipulated when I did have all the power and could've got a big threat out. but NO sharky and anna the fucking dynamic duo they are decided it would be fun to go to rocks! I am just so over it. Im getting fucking 5th place and I am MAD.
OR AM I? I decided to lie last night and say i gave my idol to brian last night. Why? It would paint an even bigger target on my back so i can go idoling. Cause of course I am not dumb enough to go and give my idol away hell naw. Instead, I need to knock sharky out of the immunity comp tonight but then get everyone on my case so they vote me. then boom idol. i know that this should get me to f3. I hope. If sharky goes next, and anna/maynor win FIC. then i know i can get at least maynor with me cause Bryce will then be the clear winner out of us 4. then maybe i will have a shot at the win but eh, need to get there first. I hope to god this can work and if not, final juror here i come!
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I woke up feeling TERRIBLE. I feel so bad about the Brian situation. Matt won't respond because he probably hates me. I feel like a trash person. And tbh I'm questioning if I even deserve to be here.
I feel sick. Literally this is the worst case scenario. If anybody else had won everything would be fine. And now Matt has like given up which makes me even sadder. I'm honestly considering asking everybody to vote me out. So that Matt at least has a shot of making FTC. This sucks.
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I WON IMMUNITY WOOOH IM SO ICONIC IM LITERALLY A LOSING FINALIST AND EVERYONE WANTS ME OUT I FEEL LIKE ILL LOSE IN THE END BUT THAT WONT STOP THESE PPL FROM GIVING ME 4TH WHEN I LOSE THE NEXT IMMUNITY AJKFDSHKFAJ THEYRE ALL LIKE SO VISIBLY DISAPPOINTED I WON IM SO SAD NNNN I WOULD BE HAPPY FOR THEM! i really hope they vote out sharky now bc its literally the smart move but im willing to bet theyll keep him to spite me annas gonna be like sharky needs to stay we get him out NEXT round and maynor might be convinced or sth idk and matt idk askdjfhdkjf i thought we were good but he ghosted me all day today so hm. club 96 nina and tina really falling apart
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Matt is literally shutting down. Like I'm trying to talk with him and mend things and try to rally him so we can figure out how to keep us both safe and honestly he's just not interested. He seems disinterested and honestly he's being kind of a brat. Stop pouting! Sack up and help me fight. Because yes I was selfish last round and that put us in a tough spot but It was never my idea to trust Bryce or my idea to ignore that we had a vote steal to secure our vote at F6. I'm not the only one who made mistakes. So come on and let's freaking recover! Or are we just supposed to lay down and award Bryce the win? UGH
I was really on the brink of asking everybody to vote me out. But Matt is being so useless right now. If he's going to act like that he'll just get picked off at F4. He has no fight. So I'm over it. I really do love him but at this point I'm going to have to just try my best to get Annabelle and Maynor to believe that they stand the best chance at FTC against me, instead of Bryce or Matt. I've already ruined my reputation so I might as well at least try to fight. I feel over everything but I have to get it together.
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The vote hopefully is between Matt and Sharky. I know Bryce really wants Sharky gone. Annabelle and I are talking and seeing which route is the best for us to make it to the end.
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Like wow. My brain is so big. Im pretending that I threw away my idol to brian at the last second, and that I am leaving this round. Whereas in actually reality I still have my idol and sure as heck im playing it tonight and making final 4 YEET. like woe is me, woe is me, lol no bitch im here to stay. Sharky like, needs to leave as well. I love him but 2 big if a threat and I would quite like to well, win.
Oh and as I write this annabelle needs me huh. Well listen here, you lied to my fucking face and got brian out. Thus, you also need to leave bish. I am fed up of being lied 2 constantly by these fuckers called my tribemates and I am NOT here for it anymore. Time to play the lies and deceit game myself huh
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This round is so weird for me. I felt like I was in such a tough place and feeling really defeated. But now Anna is getting paranoid and there is a very slim chance I could get her to to vote Maynor and then Matt and I both make F4. But my issues is I can't trust anybody. Because I don't think anybody trusts me. Like Maynor is being very noncommittal. Anna keeps flip flopping and maybe she'll flip onto me. Matt seems on board but honestly maybe he deeply deeply hates me and is just lying and will vote me out.
There is a little over an hour left before tribal. I'm convinced that it's me going home. Everyone seems to be too easy to agree to vote with me. It's not looking good.
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Literally wtf. The Biggest plot twist of the century is occurring. I'M THE SWING VOTE?? Like since when in hell was I going to be the deciding factor. I mean I like it, I have the power for once and I am safe but still omg i LOVE IT! I am bunsen the Berner in this image, deciding between 2 fates: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DzD8lXwUwAAgTlp?format=jpg&name=900x900
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Having a panic attack. Im really nervous. Like i know its between Matt and Sharky. But there is still a chance that somehow me or annabell could still go. I hope it doesnt and its clear cut with Sharky and Matt. Fingers cross. Or imma die.
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i had a good talk with anna today and i kind of love her (as long as she votes sharky) i think maynor might go now which is sad bc anna says matt/sharky are doing that but like matt says that he wants me maynor him f3 so who knows! anna like was honest with me about not knowing who to vote and seems to be voting sharky but literally anything can happen so whomst knows.
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okokok i feel so fucking badly about this move like so badly ughhhhhhhhhh but i feel like it has to happen i'm so so soooo sorry sharky like you have no idea i've been torn all day on what i should do and idk i feel like i lose no matter what this fucking blows
Sharky is voted out 4-1. 
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survivormuxloe · 5 years
Text
Episode #6: “because Sweyn’s Baddies are COMING” - Jones
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My bitch ass glasses broke so I’m more than happy to be doing a challenge that requires my ears. Maybe wil my eyesight so poor my hearing will get better to compensate who knows. Even if we lose I’m in a Gucci spot to survive.
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Tribal was a success. With the first tribal done I’m happy trust is built and I can stop being paranoid.
With that said I think I’m in a good position going forward as I have an alliance and we’re probably reaching a merge or a swap soon.
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my plan of action for my tribe since we legit havent got Anything on the doc yet (me n michael have an excuse..) is to make it seem like im doing more than i am. oh im gonna work on it soon! i’ll do this soon! like its all about seeming like im contributing.. when i aint LAMDKNDG
me n michael made a f2 altho it breaks my heart to say its just for the sake of my survival on this dumbass tribe.. theres no way malik flips on me and with michael as my f2 i can essentially force him to flip on danielle if he wants to stay which is like perf rn since i dont really trust her..
i miss my close allies tho lol. like ryan is my #1 n its unfortunate he isnt getting a chance to make more bonds considerig we need those bonds for his idol to make a big move.. hopefully mercia loses again and wes goes tho? it evens it up to 6 sweyn vs 6 mercia and i think itll swap again before merge and hopefully ill be with ryan/rhys/jones :)) my social game is good rn i think.. i just gotta lay low with physical and downplay strategy so im never the target. hard w/ these personalities tho. X
SOOO THIS CHALLENGE IS FUCKING HELL!!! U KNOW WHAT WOULD BE BETTER? IF OUR WHOLE TRIBE FUCKING DID SMTH!!
like im actually gunna go fucking mad.. its songs. yah its hard to identify bc theyre distorted and overlapped but theres no excuse not to get at least artists.. or even one song. malik n michael can barely do that.. LIKE YEAH I HAVENT DONE THE BEST BUT IVE GOT 2 SONGS THERE RN AND IDENTIFIED NICKI + XTINA SO! BLOOP! im gunna kill myself.. poor dani. its especially painful knowing ill try to get her out if we lose LMAOAOAOA but i mean.. (: oh well!
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This challenge can litterally chomp on a dick. No. I hate it. I dont want to do it. Like BEGONE.
Honestly its so hard, and like i dont listen to pop so im struggling with it. Hopefully we win, but I feel safe if we go to tribal.
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At this point I am so upset because I feel useless because all the ones I know have been picked and idek if anyone took my suggestion seriously. If this round ends my game, I’m going to be so upset!
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We’re pretty much fucked unless a miracle happens
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I've been a bit nervous about my position and stuff in the game and I'm trying to catch up socially with a lot of people and stuff. I'm doing what I can on a five person tribe and hope I can work on hard on getting as far as I can in this game. I have a feeling we merge next round so that could be cool. I wanna make it far as I can this game, I'm trying to be active but UTR so hopefully it works.
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WE WON FIRST PLACE AGAIN AND THIS TIME I WASNT A FUCKUP WOOOOOOOOOOOOP WOOP I’ve been talking to David more and I helped out a lot with this challenge so I’m hoping he won’t want me out next time we go to tribal.
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THREE IN A ROW, BABY. Feels good to not have gone to tribal since Jose's elimination. Also an added bonus that I basically carried our tribe to win today, not a big deal, LOL.
Also, with the reward, I've now got a vote steal advantage. This is HUGE for me. I have a group of people I wanna work with in this game and if this group is down in numbers at any point, this vote steal can come in handy.
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that challenge was a damn mess but i'm just glad we made it out alive. sad Canute lost though ugh i'm sending all of my positive energy to Scott so he can make it through.... hope we merge next round that would be cute; i'm ready for more action in this game
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im gunna kill my self . :) WE LOST. AGAIN. :) NOT MY FAULT. AGAIN.
n now i gotta deal with fucken awkward 2-2 tribal lines when i have a f2 with michael and a love for malik.. but bc dani is good at challenges her ass wont go and thats so annoyin but u can bet ur ass ima try somethin if i have to bc i dont trust malik to keep me safe vs her whereas michael will.. if i have to flip on malik i will
why me tho like im a good person. i dont deserve this. why couldnt i be on a competent tribe. LMAOAOAOA.
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THANK GOD WE WON IMMUNITY if we lost I probably would’ve spontaneously combust Bc I love??? My current tribe??? I love Madison too and It sucked we voted her out Bc I actually adore her but she wasn’t doing a lot. I just love this tribe and if we had to vote for each other again I’ll lose my marbles. Maybe we can work more together going into merge if we get there? I hope so, because Sweyn’s Baddies are COMING
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Well, we lost once again and I’m upset about it. The challenge was super hard for us and we struggled. It seemed like everyone wasn’t really putting in all they could as they just said “I forgot” I was like oh!! cool!! This tribal, I’m not crazy worried right now. I trust Scott a lot at this point because he doesnt have a reason to lie to me by telling me that I’ve been holding up the tribe because... I have been. I think the move this week is to vote out Malik. We’ll see whats going on but I really think we might be doing that this week. Hopefully there’s a merge soon because I need to fucking be by myself!!!
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My ass is for sure on the line tonight. I know that  Malik is targetting me for being weak and all that so rn I’m just trying to get Scott 100% on board with voting me and Malik 100% certain that he is safe with me just in case there’s an idol and maybe if I’m too in my nerves and scared I have no qualms with throwing a vote on dani incade of a tie
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You know what they say, another week safe, 
That one didn't seem so easy,  partially cause I sucked at it and mainly because I sucked major balls at it. But hey Mo and David saved our asses so yeeeeeeeeeeee boi. And not only that we also got reward but not really cause the only thing I got was a jpg image, and so did Felix David and Mo according to them which means either one of them is lying or Wes has it. Either way I guess it's not the end of the world.
So now Canute is going to tribal I wonder how that is gonna play out, a part of me wants Dani and Michael to be safe but another one wants rocks but at the same time another one would be jealous cause I wouldn't be a part of it and I could use some rocks in my life. Either way that's it for now folks now if you excuse me Felix wants to kidnap me and introduce me to the spooky facebook wikia comunity, spooky shit indeed.
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So WOOOOOOOO this is the first tribal of the season that i'm not attending which is amazingggg and feels so good to finally have a break!! Plus like I honestly LOVE my tribe rn bc everyone is so iconic and fun and we even made a charlie's angels thing bc its so iconic... ugh love them BUT if it came down to tribal I think I would be okay still since i've really worked on rhys and we have a 3 dude gay guardians alliance of me, rhys, and ryan even tho im not even gay but they dont need to know that... my boy scott is in tribal rn but i hope he comes out okay!!! if he doesn't well oops idc bye bitch but if he does then yay!!
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Tonight I am absolutely terrified I think the votes are gonna be on Malik but you just never know so my best plan is just to hope for the best and campaign to stay I’m not just gonna sit back and get eliminated especially this close to a merge situation where I know I’ll be in a good position to make it far.
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im legit gunna die im so nerv and i shouldnt be. LIKE. I TRUST THAT MICHAEL HAS MY BACK. AND MALIK ISNT VOTING ME. SO IT SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO GO. BUT I DONT THINK THAT FOR SOME REASON. all i can think of in the back of my mind is what if michael and dani flip on me and its 2-1-1.. but theres nothing i can literally do bc if i vote michael and stay our relationship is gone lol
ughhhh i should just be positive but its so hard bc even if malik goes.. i feel awful LMAAOAOOA but like. uhm. yes ): i feel awful
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Scott as much as I like the guy I can for sure see he lets his emotions dictate how he plays and while that’s not necessarily bad it’s difficu when you’re trying to blindside someone and he could just run and tell Malik so the nerves are here and out to play hunny
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My thing is I think it’s is going to go to rocks. Which is why we were worried about that when linus left but it’s real. Dani we don’t wanna vote each other, hell everyone says they don’t want to vote me which is always weird for me to hear but if that’s true good if they’re all voted me then nasty.. but I don’t want to vote Dani and I definitely don’t want to vote Scott..so that kinda leads to Michael which I don’t want to vote either but I have reasons: the main reason is the past couple of challenges he’s done the worst in, and if we need to survive incase there’s no swap or merge then we need all the strong members here.
I feel a bigger bond with Dani and Scott vs Michael who I feel is cool but I don’t feel we’re clicking on a better level. And it’s not even a tribe thing it’s literallt what I feel could save us from tribal, and how don’t i know if Dani and Michael won’t vote me out right after Scott leaves? So basically what’s happening is it’s likely going to be a 2-2 on Michael and Scott, and I’m not changing my vote. So I’ll likely go to rocks and lose but that’s ok. I did my best and it could be a stupid move but I don’t wanna risk Dani and Michael voting me out if we lost again, because I’d hope Dani wouldn’t but you never know. So rocks here we come!
Malik is voted out 3-1.
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