#ITS 3 AM GET SOME SLEEP 😂

[beefrobeefcal]

I have a Thot to contribute for the Beefro Repentance Tiddie Fic, in case it is helpful or shall I say... titillating? 😂 (I'm sorry)

Since it didn't specify who gets milked, maybe we go back to late-stage pregnant Mouse? A little lactation play where Frankie drinks from her after dinner until he tops off his big full belly? (Big enough to rival her bump 🥵)

Or since it sounds like nonnie wants some male breast play too...add Frankie and Mouse playing with each other's delectable chests first?

Anyway just some ideas! I wasn't expecting your poll to turn out how it did, not gonna lie 😄 But hey, I'll enjoy wherever you take us with this!

You're a lifesaver, Reby!

fucking RIGHTS we need to expose Frankie's Breeding, Pregnancy & Lactation Kinks!

Smuttiest regards,

Beefro 👌🥩💜

--------<3---------

Beefro Proudly Presents:

a Chubby!Frankie one shot

The Catfish & The Mouse: Mouse's Relief

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Pregnant Fem!Reader

Summary: Frankie helps Mouse find relief.

Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI)

Word Count: 2,382

Content Warning: pregnancy talk, main character pregnant, lactation kink, pregnancy kink, breeding kink, 5-knuckle shuffle (male), lactation, breast feeding, breast milk, cumming in pants, weight talk, eating, sore breasts

Author's Notes: Thank you @rebel-held for the assistance you provided in your THOT. Thank you to @thehalflifeofloveisforever, @theywhowriteandknowthings & @neverwheremoonchild for their input, eyes and THOTs.

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It had been a day. You were now on maternity leave, supposedly to be giving yourself some down time before your baby arrived, but you’d been anything but relaxed today.  

Your baby had been kicking the same rib over and over for the last three days, not allowing you to have any restful sleep; your big belly weighed heavily on you, making movements hard; and to top it all off, your milk had come in, making your breasts extremely sore and heavy.  

Pregnancy was so uncomfortable.  

Thankfully, it was a Friday and that meant you had Frankie all to yourself from the moment he got home to Monday morning at 6:00 am. He’s been so patient and caring with you, rubbing your feet and back, switching sides of the bed with you so you could be closer to the bathroom, and giving you your space when you needed to just be left alone because of the raging hormones in your body, then running back the moment you needed to be held.  

Despite being so uncomfortable, you decided to do something special for him to dinner and make his favourite – lasagna.  

**** 

Frankie arrived home, opening up the back door to the smell of his absolute favourite. He smiled and walked into the kitchen, seeing you leaning against the counter, your hands holding your phone and resting on your big belly, while you scrolled through whatever app you were hooked on today. He couldn’t help but notice how much more pronounced your chest was, and his cock twitched in his jeans. But before he could do anything, he knew he needed to test the waters first.  

“Hey mama…”, he said softly with a smile, coming up beside you and splaying his hand over your middle. He pressed a kiss on your temple and moved his hand over your sore side. “How’s the rib?” 

You sighed with a tired smile. “Sore… but okay. How was work?” 

He didn’t want to talk about work. Not when that sigh heaved your swollen tits, making his cock twitch harder.  

“Baby…”, he cooed as he kissed your neck, continuing to test whether you’d let him go further, and he reached up and gently palmed your tit.  

You hissed in pain, and he jumped back. “What? What happened?” 

“They hurt… so much… I’m sorry, Frankie. Please don’t touch my boobs.” 

“What- why are they so sore, Mouse?”, he asked, sounding concerned with a slight hint of annoyance.  

“Milk’s coming in, and they’re swollen and-“ 

“I can see that.”, he stated, his eyes glued to your ample cleavage.  

“Frankie.” Your tone was indicative of your own irritation and a warning that your hormonal temper was rearing its head.  

He looked up to your face and offered a sheepish grin.  

“Okay… no touching the tiddies.” 

You sighed again, not wanting your weekend to start with your mood. “It’s okay, baby. Dinner will be ready soon so you should have your shower. “ 

He nodded with a smile and kissed you quickly before heading to the bedroom.  

As Frankie stood in the shower, he tried to ignore his semi hard-on but his mind kept slipping back to the sight of you, round and heavy, tits swollen and all because of him. He gripped his now fully hard cock and pumped himself, thinking about how good you feel and smell and look, and…  

He came fast, his come hitting the shower wall then washing away under the spray of the shower. As he calmed down, he thought about how quickly he hit his release by his own hand when his mind was filled with you being pregnant. He grinned to himself as he finished his shower, making a mental note to take some more pictures of you like this for his personal spank bank, especially if you decided one kid was enough. He dried off and got dressed, heading back out into the kitchen with you.  

***** 

The lasagna was gone, and Frankie’s belly was the only evidence that it had ever existed. You couldn’t stomach it, so he had eaten your portion as well, so you had some fruit and soup instead.  

“Fuck me, Mouse… we both look like we’re about to pop.”, he chuckled, trying to pull down his T-shirt, the same one that fit just fine a few weeks ago.  

“Head to the couch, I’ll clean up.”, you said, standing up and wincing.  

“Abso-fuckin’-lutely not, mama.”, he grunted as he stood up. “I’ll clean up later. You need to relax.” 

After some coaxing, Frankie had convinced you to have a bath and he would be ready for you when you were done.  

As you soaked, Frankie sat on the couch, full belly sitting heavily on his lap, and he searched online for how to help you with your sore breasts. He read about warm compresses and massaging, then his heart almost jumped into his throat and his cock came to standing attention at once when he read that he could express the milk by sucking it out. He groaned and palmed at his hard on through his sweatpants. Yup. He was going to be so helpful.  

You got out of the bath, feeling more relaxed, minus your breasts, and got into your lounge clothes, then made your way out to the living room. You stopped in the doorway and watched as Frankie grunted looking at his phone with a feral intensity and his hand palming his crotch.  

“Am I interrupting anything?” Your tone was teasing and the grin on your face told him to not stop on your account.  

“I think I can help you… with your tiddy problem.”, he grunted, tossing his phone to the couch and standing up. He walked towards you, his eyes fixed on your chest, and he licked his lips.  

“Frankie! I said they’re sore!” 

“I know… and I wanna help.”, he groaned as he pulled you into his arms and kissed your neck. If it wasn’t for the fact you both had pronounced bellies, you know you’d feel his cock pressing into you.  

His hand came up and slipped under your shirt and he gently caressed your breast through your flimsy bralette. Your breath hitches and he hushed you and kissed your neck again.  

“Don’t think you understand what you do to me, looking like this, mama… your fucking body is just…”  

He grunted as his cock tried to find friction when he bucked his hips, and he softly twisted your nipple. You gasped and let out a pained whine, but he held you firmly where you were.  

“Lemma help, mama… please.”, he pleaded against your neck, breathing heavily. “Lemme make it better.” 

You winced again at his hands, as gentle and wonderful as they felt, and seriously considered telling him off. But the desperation in his voice plus the warmth of his hand on your swollen breast gave you pause.  

He stood up, nudging his nose against yours, his eyelids heavy and he whispered please again. You nodded and he led you to the couch.  

Once you were seated, he went to the bathroom and grabbed a few towels, and put them beside you. He leaned down, holding himself above you with his hand on the back of the couch. He kissed you, and you could tell he was holding himself back as he did. He released your lips and pressed his forehead against yours.  

“Fuck, Mouse, you look so good like this…”, he panted as he stood up. “I’m gonna help…” 

He dropped to his knees between yours and pushed your shirt up over tour belly, kissing and mouthing his way up. You watched him with wide eyes, and it dawned on you what he was planning.   

“Frankie? What are you gonna-“ 

“Gonna make it better, mama… gonna help you.”, he grunted again, pushing your shirt your breasts and pulling it over your head.  

He sat back on his heels and looked you over with a ravenous ferocity in his eyes.  

“Fuck... yes, mama... look so good...”, he groaned, his hands going to your swollen middle. “No idea what it does to me to see you stretching out your shirts because you're so full of my baby... tits looking amazing....” 

He dove his face forward, kissing your belly again, moving up to mouth your nipple through the jersey knit fabric of your bralette. It felt amazing, but also completely confusing and overwhelming. The only time Frankie had expressed this much admiration for your swollen body was when he was drunk; he would get handsy and needy and would whine and beg you to ride him or let him fuck you in front of a mirror so he could see you. He was never this demanding and gropey and domineering. This was new and you were not mad at it. 

“Frankie...”, you whined as you panted when he nipped just a bit too hard at your breast. “Please! They’re so sore... please be gentle!” 

“I know... I know, mama... I’m gonna help.”, he cooed, sucking your nipple lightly through your bralette. 

You sucked in your breath and your hand went to his head, gripping his hair, and you winced as he added pressure with his hand to your other breast, causing it to leak a bit. When he felt the warmth of your milk saturate your bralette, he sat back and stared. His pupils were so blown out, you could no longer differentiate where his irises were, and his eyes were fixed on your clothed, leaking breast. 

“Frankie... are you gonna...?”, you asked quietly through heavy breathing. 

His eyes didn’t move as he nodded slowly and licked his lips. His hands came up and pulled your bralette off, releasing your heavy breasts, and his mouth immediately grasped one of your nipples and sucked. You let out a breathy whine and once again gripped his hair, this time with both hands. The pinch and pull of him sucking to get your milk moving was almost too much until you felt a release.  You sighed at the relief that washed over you and Frankie groaned as milk spurted into his mouth.  

He swallowed mouthful after mouthful of milk, grunting as he suckled, despite his belly already being full from his big dinner. He didn’t care about the ever-tightening feeling in his middle; his mind had a singular focus and that was what he had in his mouth.  

When he felt like he couldn’t get more from that breast, he released your nipple and licked it, looking up at you with dark eyes and panting. He moved over to your other breast, now leaking even more, and nudged it with his nose and his tongue darted out, licking up the escaped milk.  

“Jesus... Mouse... you taste so fucking good...”, he grunted as he lapped up the warm liquid. His voice sounded deep and primal, like your weeping tits had unlocked some deep seeded need Frankie hadn’t tapped into yet. 

You locked eyes with him again and he made a low growl as he pulled your nipple into his mouth and began sucking on it greedily.  

You leaned forward a bit and one of your hands slid down, looking for his hard cock, but his belly was in the way. You knew he was full before, but now his belly would rival yours. It felt tight and as your fingers rubbed and prodded him, and you felt his body move as he rutted his hips.  

“Poor baby... bet your dick is just aching... but you’re too big for me to get it... I can feel how full you are, Frankie baby... belly’s getting big... but you like this, don’t you... getting fat because you put a baby in me... that’s it... good boy...”, you cooed, stroking his hair. 

A low moan emanated from Frankie and his grip on your thighs tightened and he panted through gulps. When he finally drained the second breast, he sat back, and you released his hair. He looked like he was in another realm of existence, with milk dripping down his chin and his eyes blown out. He was panting and fell back and laid on the floor, his extremely full belly prominently jutting out above him and groaned. 

It took some work, but you got up off the couch, pulled on your sweater, and stood above Frankie, gently rocking back and forth, rubbing your belly. 

“Baby... your belly’s bigger than mine right now.”, you smiled, nudging his lovehandle gently with your foot and noted the wet patch on the crotch of his sweatpants. You grinned, knowing exactly what that was. 

He lifted his head and looked at his swollen middle and dropped it back down again.  “Fuck, I’m full.”, he groaned and closed his eyes. 

“I’d get on the floor and give you a belly rub, but...”, you grinned, motioning to your baby bump. “We both don’t need to be stuck on the down there.” 

Frankie huffed a laugh, his eyes opening as he looked up at you. “How are your boobs?” 

“Much better, thank you.”, you chuckle, as he struggles to lug himself upright. 

Once he stands up, you can see his back arching to accommodate the weight in his belly. You reach forward and rub his tummy and smile.  

“Kinda over did it, huh?”, you asked, giving him a pat and leaning towards him to press a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.”, he murmured as smiled and splayed his hand on your belly, feeling your little one moving around.  

“So, you came in your pants, huh?”, you said pointedly with an eyebrow raised. 

He huffed a laugh, wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, and pulled you to his side. “Yeah... I came in my fucking pants.” 

“Sucking on my tits was so good that you came in your pants? You kinky bastard...” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah... ”, he grinned, nudging you towards the bedroom and swatting at your backside.  

You stopped and grinned, biting your lower lip, as you felt his belly press into your back, and he wrapped his arms around your middle.  

“Watch your mouth... carrying my baby can only save you from so much, Mama.”, he growled into your ear as he guided you down the hallway and int your bedroom. 

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@theywhowriteandknowthings @harryleatherfit @toxicanonymity @harriedandharassed @neverwheremoonchild @rebel-held @beee-haw @nevergoingbacknowshine @idolatrybarbie @v4vayha @lalocitos @xdaddysprincessxx @deathsholywaterr @heareball @lyssramscal @wintrwinchestr @blackfemalenerd  @southernbe @starkeydaviss @noxturnalpascal

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal tummy #frankie morales #triple frontier #you ask beefro answers #francisco catfish morales #frankie morales fanfiction #chubby frankie rights !!!!! #🥩 #the catfish & the mouse one shot #friend of beefro

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Can be either older Yuu or mini Yuu except I imagine this scenario fits the latter more: Yuu: “…so Rook let me play with his bow while he helped Vil with something, and then I accidentally moved a curtain in his room. I was going to put back, except I saw a lot of pictures of you guys sleeping on the wall for some reason. I wonder why he has those pictures though?” Everyone in Savanaclaw: “😱😱😱😱😨😨😨😨” Ruggie: “…it means we’re going to lock the windows and doors every night from now on”

Pffft yes, I love this because it’s chaotic and Rook being Rook is just priceless 😂

Let's go with mini!Yuu then since I'm in the mood for cuteness~! Had to look at Rook's room to get a reminder of what was where. >3>

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“Hold it like this, mon chou. Beaute~! You’ve got it, mon petit lapin.”

“Uh…Rook, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“But of course, Monsieur Crabapple! It is never too late to teach them how to wield a bow like a true hunter, no?”

Epel’s ear flicked as he stared at the small human, watching them try to hold up the large bow as Rook helped steady their arms. “I don’t know…it’s a little big for them, don’t you think?” he asked, instinctively moving away when the toy ‘arrow’ wobbled in his direction as they tried to aim at the makeshift target. “What if Vil finds out? Won’t he be mad?”

“Non, non, it will be fine,” Rook said, a proud smile on his face. “Someday, they shall hunt their own proud, powerful quarry—surely even the Roi de Poison would be proud of our little mon chou, no?”

“Um…wouldn’t a toy sword be better though? And safer…?”

Yuu looked up at Epel and said with the biggest smile, “I wanna learn to hunt like Rook!”

At that Rook leaned back on his avian legs, looking smitten as he crooned, “Ah, my heart! How precious and beautiful this moment is!” Before he could continue, his phone pinged and he turned to read the message that arrived for him. “Ah, I see. Roi de Poison requires my assistance with preparations for his next photo shoot. Would you watch over them while I am gone?”

“Oh. Sure! I can handle it,” Epel told him, arms opening as Yuu—now relieved of the bow and toy arrow by Rook—toddled over to him for a hug. “Don’t worry, we’ll have lots of fun, Yuu!”

“Very well. I leave them in your care, Monsieur Crabapple,” came the response, Rook reaching down to pet Yuu’s head before the harpy hunter stood and hurried out the door.

Turning to the small human, the faun hybrid tilted his head and asked, “Do you want to head back to my room? My folks sent me a batch of fresh apples we can munch on.”

“Oooh, apples!”

“Okay, let’s go!”

As he stood with them in his arms, he faltered when Yuu suddenly started squirming in protest. “No, wait! We need to find Mr. Flopsy!”

He’d almost forgotten about the stuffed rabbit toy they had earlier, a present from Vil after one of his earlier photo shoots about two weeks ago and he stopped in town to pick up a few toys. They loved all the gifts he brought, but they seemed to fixate quite strongly on the stuffed rabbit with yellow fur, a white cotton tail, and a tuft of hair on its head. They’d played a game with Yuu where Mr. Flopsy was “bouncing” around the room, on occasion being tossed by the toddler to one of the others and vice versa. That was before they came across Rook’s bow, which led to them having the impromptu lesson.

“Okay, let’s take a look ‘n see,” he said, searching around the room for the fluffy toy. Yuu searched low while Epel searched high, scanning the space for any sign of their toy. It wasn’t until Yuu called out and pointed up at the canopy above the bed that he saw it…along with the peeling wallpaper in the corner and the squares taped to the wall's surface underneath.

“What’s that?” Yuu asked, looking up at him with curious eyes.

“Huh…they look like pictures.” Looking closer, he frowned once he realized that they were photographs…of various students. “…student pictures.”

Yuu’s fingers pointed at one particular photo with the biggest smile on their face as they said, “Look! It’s uncle Leona and Cheka!” They giggled and pointed to another one saying, “And big brother Ruggie! And Jack-Jack! And uncle Leona again! He looks sleepy in that one.”

The more names Yuu pointed out, the more unnerved Epel began to feel. “I guess…everyone has some sort of hobby,” he mumbled before he climbed up to grab the toy and then carrying Yuu. “Time to go.”

“But I wanna see more of the pretty pictures!”

“I can find you better ones later!”

////--Later at Savanaclaw--////

“Hey, kiddo! Didja have fun over at Pomefiore?”

“Yeah!”

“Great! Did anything interesting happen?”

“Rook tried to teach me to use his bow and arrow set!”

“Oh…is that right?”

"Great...as if we need another hunter around here..."

“Uh-huh! And he had lots of pretty pictures too.”

“Huh. Pictures sound nice—any interesting ones?”

“I saw uncle Leona and Cheka!”

“…what?”

“And you and Jack-Jack were there too, Ruggie!”

“…uh…huh…”

“He really likes taking pictures of people, huh?”

“Yeeeeeah…I think we’re gonna start locking everyone’s doors from now on.”

"Why?"

"I'll tell you when you're older."

"Okay, I'm older now!"

"Eh?"

"I'm a whole minute older, so now you can tell me, right?"

"Nice try, but you need to be older than that. Like...about ten years older."

"Awww! No fair..."

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland monster au #twst monster au #rook hunt #epel felmier #vil schoenheit #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #leona kingscholar #twisted wonderland mini!yuu #if you can guess where the rabbit inspiration came from you get an internet cookie~! :D

[jasntodds]

Caving In [3]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 7,023

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, hurt/comfort, a nightmare, flirting, fluff, jason and reader trauma-bonding, talks of abuse (it’s not super detailed), mentions of food being withheld, gar feels like his trauma isn’t “enough” (unrelated to the trauma-bonding), mentions of death, mentions of drug addiction, mentions of bruises

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: So, this is the chapter where I decided to change who the fic was about because I mean hi lol so this chapter is Jason heavy 😂 I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 The first few chapters take place between season 2 episode 1 and season 2 episode 2. You can add yourself the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

The movie came to a close twenty minutes ago, Rachel already off to her room to get some sleep but Gar and Jason are still in the living room with you asleep. Gar doesn’t want to move you, he’s never been a big fan of waking people up when they’re asleep, especially when it’s obvious they haven’t slept very much. On top of that though, he’s not sure if waking you up would scare you and then you’d burn him or something. So, he figures it might be best to just let you sleep. Jason volunteered to hang out with him for a little bit anyway.

Jason looks over and his eyes just land on you. You look peaceful and kind of nice when you’re not being a snarky bitch to him. Though, he does kind of give as good as he gets not that he’d ever admit that of course. And maybe he likes that you actually have a bit of fire in your words when you talk to him. Gar and Rachel normally brush off his mean and sarcastic comments and Dick can never be bothered. You though, you play along and maybe he thinks it’s a little fun.

“Why are you staring at her, dude? It’s weird.” Gar looks away from his phone to look at Jason.

Jason shakes his head, grabbing his own phone to scroll through Twitter. “I wasn’t staring.” He mutters, his cheeks turning a bright red.

“Yeah, you were.” Gar insists. “Don’t make it weird, she’s nice and it’s cool to have someone new around.”

“I’m not making it fucking weird, man.” Jason sighs before he looks back over, glancing between Gar and you. “You gonna go for it though?” Jason raises his brows with the question, choosing to deflect.

Gar’s eyes narrow in disbelief. “I just said don’t make it weird.” Gar’s voice goes up an octave with his words. “She’s been here a day.”

Jason chuckles more to himself than at Gar. “I’m just trying to figure out the rules. You’re my friend and I don’t wanna overstep, man.” He has this grin that absolutely says he will overstep if not told otherwise.

Gar’s forehead wrinkles with Jason’s words and if it were anyone else, maybe he’d be surprised by how fast he wants this move but it’s Jason. The same guy who uses 420 and 69 (or both together) as passcodes so Gar can’t actually be too surprised. And Gar also knows that if he doesn’t answer Jason, Jason is going to do what he wants. He’s an asshole, sure, but he’s not a half-bad friend, actually.

“I don’t know.” Gar shakes his head, almost rolling his eyes. “I haven’t thought about it.”

Jason hums. “So, I can go for it then? If I want?” Jason asks and then quickly follows up with more. “Not that I do, I’m just asking.”

“Right.” Gar deadpans and you aren’t an article of clothing they’re swapping because it’s nice or something.

You’re a living breathing human being who has the right to make your own decisions. Of course, Gar knows that’s not what Jason is getting at during this or anything. He’s asking if he can flirt or try to actually get with you if you’re interested but it doesn’t make Gar feel any better. You’ve been here a day and maybe Gar just wants you to settle in before Jason jumps down your throat about it. And, to be completely fair, Gar does think you’re very pretty but he actually wants to take the time to get know you before he decides if he’d even be interested. He’s just here having fun learning to be a Titan.

“Maybe we just let her come to us if she’s interested.” Gar proposes, a partial way to get Jason to drop it. “After, she actually gets settled.”

“Hey,” Jason defends himself, but his voice is still quieter than it normally is. “It’s just a question, she seemed to be comfortable around you is all.” Jason glances to you once more before going back to his phone. “Obviously.”

“Can we drop this? She is right here.” Gar slightly shifts in his seat, not enough to wake up you.

“She’s asleep.” Jason scoffs before looking back at Gar who just looks annoyed. “Alright, damn chill out. I’ll leave her alone for a while.”

Gar nods, not having anything else to add on the topic and Jason drops it. The boys go back to their phones and have some conversation here and there about Twitter threads and TikToks they find. Nothing substantial really comes from any of it but both of them enjoy the time. Gar actually likes hanging out with Jason like this, he hasn’t had a best friend in a long time and this feels normal to him. Turning into a tiger usually makes him feel a little freakish, especially after spending so much time at Doom Manor where they were pretty much described as freaks. It was hurtful, he just wants to be normal and having movie nights with Jason and Rachel feels normal.

It doesn’t matter how much trauma any of them have when there’s a movie on and they’re just hanging out. It’s just them and when it’s him and Jason, that’s all there is. Normalcy. Even with you, a new girl, sleeping on him. In a way, it even feels a little comforting with you laying your head on him because he’s not a scary tiger. He’s just a boy.

After another half hour, Jason leaves Gar to head to the training room. Gar tried to convince him to go to bed but Jason doesn’t listen to anyone so now it’s just Gar and you. He’s getting tired himself and he’s heavily debating on waking you up so he can go in his own bed. But, the debate doesn’t last long because suddenly, you shoot off of his shoulder, heaving for air. You sit forward, eyes wide as Gar slightly jerks away from you as a reflex.

“Are…are you okay?” He asks, leaning back over and forward to get a look at your face.

You suck in a breath, your chest heaving with every breath and your heart pounding. You barely even comprehend you’re still in the living room when Gar asks you the question. All you can do is nod and try to breathe. This is really going to be your life now? Tortured in reality by a psychopath and now tortured in a dream state by the same fucking psychopath? How the fuck is that fair? You finally escaped only to be haunted by your dreams in a place you actually kind of, sort of, feel safe in.

“Nightmare?” Gar asks, not moving from his position.

You turn your head to the right to look over your shoulder back at Gar. “Y-yeah.” You nod softly before looking forward, shaking your head. “Sorry.”

Gar’s brows furrow. “For what?”

“Uh…” No one’s asked you what you’re sorry for before. You’re always supposed to be sorry for either getting angry or upset or having a smart-ass comment. There’s always something you’re supposed to apologize for. “Falling asleep, falling asleep on you….” You pause. “Nightmare.”

“You,” Gar leans forward some more, a little closer to you to try and offer you comfort in the only way he knows how. “You don’t have to be sorry for any of that. It’s okay.”

You glance over at him and the way he looks at you make you feel like porcelain. Fragile and weak. It’s not a feeling you like very much. But his eyes are warm and kind, so kind that they make you want to tell him your whole life story without ever coming up for a breath of fresh air. And it makes you feel warm.

“Do you wanna talk about it? Sometimes it helps.” Gar offers with a welcoming but small smile.

You look over to him again, your eyes dodging his this time. You can feel the flame in your belly flickering, it wants to go out so bad. It’s been wanting to go out the last few months, the last few months you were held. At the beginning, it was bonfire in your stomach. The second even a drop of gasoline were to land, it would all blow. But the gasoline never dripped or spilled. It sat in the corner and taunted you and the flame died down. And you’re so tired of it.

You want the fight back and maybe talking about it would help you feel better but you don’t want to feel better. You want to be pissed and angry and furious and you want the fucking fire back so you can hunt the bastard down yourself. But then you look at Gar again and he’s soft. It’s like you’re this tea light and he’s a glass lamp over you. Not burning out the flame but keeping it going just enough to function.

“Um…” You pause, leaning back against the couch. “It’s just….uh…i-it’s like I’m back there again.” You admit. “A-and he-he’s right there.” You stutter while Gar watches. “J-just f-fucking taunting me, k-knowing I-I can’t do anything. Fuck.” You swallow hard, not even realizing you were practically holding your breath.

Gar turns in his spot so he can better face you, never moving away from you. “What happened?” Gar asks calmly. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Gar adds on, never wanting you to feel pressured about it.

You hang your head, then shake it. He’s going to give you the look. The pitiful look you got when your mom died. It’s the same look everyone always gives, you’re guilty of giving the look, too but it makes you shift and it make you feel uneasy. You get it, feeling bad for people who experience trauma. It’s natural but you don’t find it comforting and maybe you would find it easier if he had something snarky to say. Make it easier with humor, it’s what you do anyway.

“W-what’s the worst thing you’ve heard someone go through?” You ask, pulling the sleeves of your hoodie over your hands.

Gar sighs, thinking about it but he didn’t think very long before he starts talking, thinking maybe if you know what he’s seen and heard, it’ll make you trust him enough to talk to him. “Rachel, probably.” He answers honestly. “Her mom, who wasn’t her real mom, was shot in front of her. Then, she was locked away,” Gar says. “Only for a few hours but locked away for her powers.” He adds in. “Then,” He pauses and your brows go up in surprise. “We found her real mom who convinced her to bring in her demon dad to save my life. He possessed all of our friends and then got them to almost beat me to death in front of her.” Gar lists, reliving all of it in quick images. “Trigon,” You look at him quizzically. “Demon dad.” Gar clarifies. “Killed her real mom and then Rachel killed him.”

You sit there for a second and you really thought you had it bad. Of course, what you went through was still terrible but you do not want to play trauma Olympics with Rachel that’s for damn sure. But, Rachel seems okay, weirdly enough. You aren’t sure how long ago all of that was but Rachel does seem okay and even happy which gives you the one thing you haven’t had in months. Hope.

“Well…okay.” You nod slowly, taking in the information.

“Oh!” Gar says, remembering to add more. “We were also being chased by people who were trying to kill her because of her powers.” Gar lets out a breath, his nonchalant add-in almost makes you laugh. What the fuck?

You blink a few times. “I….I don’t even know what to say to all of that.”

“Yeah,” Gar chuckles softly. “It was pretty crazy.”

“No fucking shit.” You laugh softly. “That’s fucked up.”

Gar nods. “Yeah, but she’s okay now.” Gar assures you.

“She seems to like it. This place help?” Your eyes glance to your hands and then back to Gar.

Gar nods once more. “Yeah,” He shrugs a shoulder. “I think it does.”

It’s helped him a little bit. But, he doesn’t think his trauma is worth talking about. It’s not as bad as Rachel’s or yours. It was a disease, sure his was different, but it was a disease and people get diseases all the time. Some people live and some people die because that’s how it works. He turns into a green tiger but is that really trauma? In the grand scheme of the conversation? Gar doesn't really think so. So, he keeps the idea of the Tower and the people helping him cope to himself.

“I-it was just…hell.” You suck in a breath, deciding to tell him a little bit. “I was there for a while and this,” You gesture over your face. “Was pretty normal.” You chew the inside of your cheek. “I-I, uh, I-I thought he was gonna…kill me for a while.” You swallow. “I think he wanted to.”

“I’m sorry.” Gar’s brows knit together with sympathy and there’s the look.

You can’t handle the look, not from him. Clearly, he’s seen and heard a lot but now maybe you don’t want to burden him with your shit. He’s been through his own and clearly knows Rachel’s, you can only assume he knows some of Jason’s shit, whatever it is. To you, Gar seems like the person everyone goes to with their problems and you don’t want to stick that burden on him. Not with eyes as caring and gentle as his. It breaks your heart to even be sitting here telling him anything. So, you quit.

“Um…” You shake your head “I’m sorry, I don’t wanna talk about it.” You shut down and Gar just nods.

“It’s okay.” Gar assures you as you get up from the couch.

“I’m…I’m gonna walk.” You fake a smile at him. “Clear my head. Thanks for letting me sleep, Gar.”

“If you need to talk, you can talk to me.” Gar stands up with you, worried he overstepped. “I didn’t mean to--”

“No.” You cut him off quickly. “You didn’t…it’s not like that. I….just. It’s so fucking fresh and you….” You suck your teeth, brows furrowing together as if you’re in pain. “You make me feel normal and I don’t wanna ruin that.” You divert your eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry…thank you.” You look back up at him before turning on your heels and head into the left hallway, disappearing into the shadows.

Gar watches you disappear, kicking himself. He thinks he made it worse. He’s just trying to be there for you but he’s slowly figuring out that that’s not something you want. Not in the talking about-it way, anyway. It’s like you just want to be distracted from it all which Gar can’t blame you for. He can only really imagine what happened from his and Jason’s little bit of research and what information you did give him. His heart aches for you but he’ll never push you to tell him anything. Instead, he goes to his room but he leaves the door cracked just in case you change your mind.

You find yourself wandering the halls until you reach the training room. There you find Jason back at the punching bag. You pull out the phone Dick gave you earlier today and it’s three in the morning. Suddenly, you feel even worse about falling asleep on Gar given how late it is. But, you choose not to focus on the guilt in your stomach and instead on Jason. You stand in the doorway, confused why he would train at this hour. Is he insane?

“Do you ever stop training?” You ask, arms crossed as you’re leaning against one of the sliding doors.

Jason jumps, spinning around quickly. “Fuck, how long have you been standing there?” Jason almost yells at you.

You snicker with a shrug. “Few seconds.”

“What do you want?” He asks and he’s as snarky as ever which makes you happy. It’s like he treats you normally. Not that the others don’t but you can tell it’s like they’re tip-toeing but Jason doesn’t.

You walk in just a few feet, looking around before looking back at Jason. “Was just walking around.”

“That’s fucking weird.”

Jason didn’t expect to see you for the rest of the night. He kind of figured if you woke up, you’d just go to your room, not walk around. Or maybe, you’d be with Gar but you’re here in the training room with him. And maybe despite the snarkiness, he wants you to stay. Maybe the comments will make you want to stay, for entertainment. You seem to like the challenge.

“You’re the one punching a bag at three in the fucking morning. You’re being weird, dude.” You snark with the raise of your brows and Jason deadpans before returning to the bag.

You watch him a little longer and this is your opportunity to ask him to help you. No one else is here and you can only assume Gar went to bed so it’s just you two. He’s clearly dedicated so maybe he’ll want to help anyway. If not, you figure you’ll just hold the little bet over his head.

You close the distance, walking over toward the punching bag. “You’re so….”

“Charming?” Jason glances at you as he punches the bag. “Amazing?” He punches again. “Hot?” He flashes a cocky grin and you sigh.

“I was gonna say snippy, actually.”

“You’re fucking annoying you know that?” Jason snarks.

“Mmm.” You click your tongue a grin pulling at your lips as you point a finger at him. “There it is.”

“Seriously, what do you want?” Jason stops, facing you with annoyance.

“Train me, Dick said I’m not ready.” You hold your head up, crossing your arms across your chest.

Jason pauses, the question catching him off guard. You don’t actually look like you’re in any condition to train, not that Jason really ever agrees with Dick. Bruce doesn’t think he should be Robin but Jason knows he’s ready to get back to it so in a way, Jason understands why you’re asking. Feeling ready, but the adults want to think they know what’s best. It’s shitty. But Jason likes a good fight.

“What happened to you?” The snarkiness leaves his voice as he nods his head up at you and you’re taken aback. Jason, not asking a snarky question? Now, that’s weird.

“Why do you wanna know?” Your voice is level, eyes slight narrowed.

Jason pauses. He’s actually just curious. He knows his motive for wanting to train harder and better and faster than everyone else but what’s yours? Unless yours is going after whoever did whatever it was to you. But now you have powers so you could just take them out with those. You don’t need the combat, really. Jason just wants to know and maybe he has a little more stake in it. He does care about it, even though he acts like he doesn’t. He’s not completely heartless. Plus, maybe it’ll give him bonus points.

“Curious.” Jason shrugs, eyes glancing from your socks to your face.

“You just wanna see all the trauma?” You raise and Jason shrugs, his brows raising quickly as if to be saying ‘why not’ and his nonchalant attitude with the mix of snark gives you enough reason to challenge him a little but take the risk in having to spill. You take a few steps towards him. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” You close the small distance between you standing just an inch away from him. Jason’s breath hitches in his throat for just a second as he looks to you. The look in your eyes sends a shiver down his spine and he’s ready to play the game.

“Asked you first.” Jason doesn’t move from his stance, instead he holds still, looking at you with his eyes locked on yours and he sees a grin coming to your face.

“Alright,” You take one step back. “But don’t make it all emotional or some shit.” You plop down on the floor in front of him, sitting with your legs crossed, Jason taking a breath finally.

He said he wouldn’t. He told Gar he’d leave you alone for a little while but what is he supposed to do when you initiate it? Jason is not gonna back down from that. And, he thinks it’s fun. You play the game and lean into the challenge instead of backing away. It’s only when Jason goes to play, too that you switch it up like a game of cat and mouse. It’s thrilling a little.

Jason chuckles but follows your lead. “You always sit on the floor?”

“You always in here?” You quip.

“Shut up.” Jason shakes his head but a smile still tugs at his lips. “So, spill your guts.”

“It’s not getting that deep, bud.” You scoff but match the smile.

This is what you were thinking when talking to Gar. Gar makes it feel vulnerable, talking about it. That’s not how you want to feel about it. You want to feel strong and fiery. It’s not Gar’s fault, you can tell it’s because he just really, truly cares and feels bad about whatever it is. But, Jason, it’s like he cares but only out of curiosity not because he’s trying to save you or help you.

“Mom was killed by the Joker,” You start, gauging Jason’s face as you talk. “Dad’s a meth addict, a great parental figure obviously.” You say sarcastically. “Went into foster care, Jerry.” You grimace with his name and you try to dodge the feeling of agony and fear when you say his name. “Was my foster dad if you can even call him that.” You scoff. “He wanted to make superhumans. He used me as a test subject, I think for himself to see if anything would work. I had so many things injected I lost count over the year. He kept me chained in a basement and because none of that was quite bad enough, the fucker decided to beat me, too when I didn’t show signs of powers. He’d withhold food, all that shit. I survived mostly off of chicken noodle soup. He beat me so bad, I guess he thought I was dead and dumped in an alley and now I’m here.” You keep your voice nonchalant and steady, listing off your past like some recap of a sitcom.

Jason keeps his eyes on you and he doesn’t know what to say. It’s rare to get him speechless but here he is, without a single word in his head. How is he even supposed to respond to that? It just sounds terrible and horrifying.

“How long did he keep you like that?” He settles on the question, knowing talking about the events in Gotham is a sore spot for him.

“A year, I think. Lost track a bit.” You answer with a shrug, silently begging him to have something snarky or sarcastic to say because now it’s all too real and you wish you could turn back the clock and not say anything.

“That’s fucked up. He’d just experiment on you and fucked you up cause he could?” Jason asks as if not really believe what he’s hearing. People are terrible.

“Mhm.” You hum.

“Fuck that guy, he’s a piece of fucking shit, alright?" There’s a fury in his voice this time and it makes you smile just a little bit. He’s not sorry, he just thinks Jerry is a shitty person.

“No shit.” You huff.

“It worked though, he gave you powers. Why the fuck wouldn’t you have used them?” Jason’s expression changes to confusion. “I’m not blaming you.” Jason defends his words, feeling like it might have come off a bit like victim blaming. “I’m just curious.”

“I was afraid he’d kill me knowing that it worked. I…uh, I learned how to stay calm when he’d come at me so I pissed him off really bad a few days ago. The calmer I was, the more angry he’d get.”

“You got him to do that to you on purpose?” Jason practically yells.

He’s not sure what he expected, really. He kind of just thought it got too bad one day. It lead you to that alley. He didn’t think you actually got someone to do that to you.

You nod, a feeling of shame taking over. “I couldn’t escape any other way. I knew if I could piss him off really really bad, he’d come at me like never before. I could pretend like he killed me or put me into a coma, caused a massive brain bleed, ya know? Something, he would dump me somewhere. It was that or he was gonna kill anyway.” You pause. “Backfired a little, he did come back and I guess thought throwing a few more punches would wake me up.”

“You just played dead the whole time?” There’s a pain in Jason’s voice and he thought this could turn into something of fun, quick-witted jokey conversation but he just feels like you kicked off a cliff. 

“Oh, no, I was actually knocked unconscious most of the time while all of it was going on.” You nod casually.

“Fuck.” Jason lets out a breath before continuing. “That’s kind of badass though.” Jason states giving you a grin, you shaking your head and jerking backward in confusion. “You just took him beating the fuck outta you. That’s fucking crazy.”

You laugh softly. “Yeah, dude’s got a hell of an arm and a kick, a-fucking-parently.” Jason’s brows raise as if to be asking for context. “Found more bruises when I showed today, got a nice boot print on my back.” A scoff leaves the back of your throat.

“Fuck that guy, alright?” Jason says, growing angry at the conversation. Who does that to someone for no reason? He kicks ass every night in Gotham as Robin but those people deserve it. What did you ever do to this guy who was supposed to protect you and keep you safe? It’s not right. “He’s a piece of shit and you didn’t deserve that shit. I'll hunt the monster down for you if I have to.”

You furrow your brows. “That’s a kind offer.”

“I’m fucking Robin!” Jason tosses his hands out, gesturing into his chest and outward again. “It’s my job to hunt those dickweeds down!”

You let out a genuine laugh. He is pretty funny actually and he’s not the Robin that let the Joker kill your mom. You actually think Jason would kill the bad guys if he were allowed to. “Mhm.” You hum. “Which is why you’re the best Robin.”

“You think so?” Jason asks, the joy in his voice makes you giggle. “I know I am but Dick and Bruce...” He pauses for a second. “They don’t think so.”

“Well, Dick and Bruce don’t know shit.” You hold your head up high, and you truly think Jason is the better Robin. You’ve seen the YouTube videos.

“Thanks.” Jason offers a sincere smile. “That why you wanna train? Hunt him down yourself kind of deal?”

“Yeah, if I ever see the piece of shit I don’t wanna give him the satisfaction of knowing it worked. I wanna beat the fuck with my bare fucking hands like he did to me.” There it is, the fire you’ve been looking for. You want him to suffer at your own hands. No one else, just you and him and you want to watch everything he worked for crash around him. You want him to be bloody and bruised and beaten like you have been for a year.

“Good, he fucking deserves it. Dick will probably hunt him down if you tell him.” Jason informs you. “He used to be a detective and he worked a lot of cases with shitty parents. I think he went out as Robin and kicked their asses.”

You smile. “Good, people who beat kids deserve what’s coming.” You laugh softly, stretching your legs out beside Jason’s and leaning back on your hands. “Your turn.”

Jason nods, pulling the leg furthest from you up so his foot is on the floor and his knee is bent while he leans back on his hands. “Dad was killed by Two-Face, mom’s a smack addict, uncle drank himself to death.” Jason rambles off as if it were nothing and your eyes squint for just a second. You’re nonchalant because it’s easier that way. Is it easier for him to be like this, too? “Gotham, right?” Jason scoffs, looks down and away from you.

“Special kind of fucked up there.” You say, not looking away from him. “I’m really sorry.” You say, your heart aching for him, something you didn’t really expect given the banter between you. “How’d you get here then?” You ask, instead of asking for details about those he lost knowing you don’t like to talk about it and assuming he probably doesn’t either.

“Caught stealing the hubcaps off the Batmobile.” Jason chuckles, his cocky grin back on his face as he looks to you, clearly proud of himself. He expects you to be impressed with his courage to steal from Batman of all people. But that’s not what your face is telling him.

Your eyes narrow and then you look up before squeezing the bridge of your nose. “Hubcaps.” Your voice is exasperated, eyes closed before looking back at him. “Fuck.”

Jason laughs, knowing what the expression is now. “What? You robbing cars?” He shakes his head. “Nah, you gotta get the hubcaps, more likely to get money from that. Less likely to get caught, too.”

“Fuck you. You got caught, too!” You glare at him.

“Because it was the fucking Batmobile.” Jason tilts his head back with a laugh. “He didn’t wanna press charges, instead, he took me in.”

“Oh, to have been so lucky.” You snark with the roll of your eyes.

“Yeah…” Jason sucks in a breath. “Sorry.”

“Nah,” You scoff with a smile. “I wish I would have been smart enough to rob the Batmobile!”

“Everyone says it was dumb.” Jason scoffs.

Bruce said it was dumb, the cop said it was dumb, Dick, Gar, Alfred, everyone but every single one of them completely neglect the need to survive. Jason's been in and out of the system his entire life. He got lucky that he didn't end up like you in all of the time he was in the system. It was lucky. He lived on the streets, no job, no GED, no diploma, he had nothing. Stealing the hubcaps off cars was how he got money for food. The Batmobile? He knew he'd get more money for it. No one wants to talk about why he did it, just that it was "dumb".

“Well, you got to move in with Batman and even if you succeeded, you would have gotten money. That’s a win-win.” You give him a smile and a laugh because you really wish you would have done it. You get it, you’re the one who gets it.

“What I said!” Jason defends.

“So, that it? Parents and guardians suck?” You pause. “So…why're you here then? I think you're a great Robin, seems a bit weird you're here." You question because you want to know what he did. If stealing hubcaps wasn't Bruce's red flag, what was it?

Jason’s face grows something sad and you’re watching, not sure what he would be sad about. He seems so happy about being Robin. What is there to be sad about? Dick said Bruce wasn’t the best, but was it that bad? Is the guy who dresses up as Batman every night actually a horrible person? Is it all just a show?

“He’s making me take a break.” Jason looks to the ground, his face settling somewhere between annoyed and sad.

You nod. “Ah, what’d ya do?”

“Well,” Jason sighs, running a hand through his hair. “There was the joyrides in the Batmobile and then riding a motorcycle in the manor.”

“I-you…I don’t know what to unpack first. Batmobile or the motorcycle. Why? For both, I guess?” You question.

Why would he risk that? Getting thrown back to the streets or worse? You run the questions through your head but you don't need to ask him because you know. It's what he does. It's what you do. You’re asking Jason to go behind Dick's back, knowing that Dick doesn't have to let you stay. It's a risk and sometimes the risk is worth it. Maybe it's genetic, to be some sort of fuck up. Or, in this case, maybe it's just environmental.

Jason shrugs. “Seemed fun, I guess.”

“You know what I think.” You point a finger at him and Jason deadpans but gestures a hand out for you to proceed. “I think he doesn’t give you enough attention.”

“You a fucking shrink now?”

“Fuck no.” You chortle. “Just an observation. Seems like you like a lot of attention.”

"And why the fuck do you think that?"

"You're a smart-ass." You chuckle as if it should have been obvious. "The risks you take, the fact everyone has something to say about you tells me you intentionally start the shit so they do talk about you. Talking about you in any context is better than being forgotten." You explain and Jason just watches you growing annoyed. He thinks he's so hard to figure out but you have him pegged in five minutes.

"Fuck you." Jason huffs. He does not like being analyzed.

"No one wants to be forgotten." Your voice is quiet and the annoyance suddenly leaves Jason with your tone. You notice the way he looks at you, not with sympathy or pity but with a genuine understanding and you deflect. "And if you keep saying fuck you, I might take you up on it." You wiggle your brows at him and Jason's jaw opens slightly, feeling as if he's just gotten whiplash.

He can play this game. He won't let you get one over on him. This is Jason's game to play and win.

"Fuck. You." Jason taunts you, leaning forward slightly.

You think it's funny. You’re just messing with him but the way he doesn't even bat an eye at it, it energizes your blood in every way. Talking and messing with Jason makes you feel so normal. He doesn't do that little dance thing that Gar does, where he's so worried about stepping on your feelings. Jason just blurts shit out and calls your bluff. It's fun.

"Tell me how you really feel." You challenge him.

Jason wants to go there because he doesn't think you'll commit to it. Maybe you'll pull away or laugh but he'll have won because he didn't back down first. It's like this silent game you're playing and Jason can't tell who the ringmaster is. He swears up and down it's him, but you take the challenge and maybe he's a little worried you'll win.

You make him feel....not useless right now. He has felt useless since being sent here. Dick didn't want him to stick around and help but he kept Rachel and Gar around. He couldn't stop Trigon, he never even stood a chance. But, with you, you don't know any of that shit. It's just you two with no expectations of anything. It's the two of you and your trauma bonding and this little game. He wants it to be a long game though, drag it out and see who wins then.

"I don't think you like attention." Jason states, your brows furrowing and you didn't expect him to be the one to back down.

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re awake when no one else is. You choose Gar to hang out with. I'm guessing you did a lot of the crime at night and not just because it was easier. It's Gotham, day crime is also pretty fucking easy. Guessing you haven't told anyone else what happened because you don't want them to look at you.” Jason explains in the same way you did but this time, with a bit more bite in his voice.

You shake your head, a smile tugging at your lips. Maybe you’re also a bit transparent around him. “Mmm who’s the wanna-be shrink now?”

“Fuck off.” Jason chuckles. “Have you told anyone else? About what happened to you?”

You shake your head. “No, uh…” You furrow your brows, shaking your head once more. “I almost told Gar but….he makes it….too…”

“Real?”

“Yeah and vulnerable. Dick’s too serious about it and I haven’t talked much to Rachel. You always have a smartass comment though. Makes it feel more like a joke. And....we have Gotham in common, ya know?”

Jason nods with understanding. He doesn’t really like talking about any of it either. None of it really. It’s why he always says it so nonchalantly. It’s easier to brush it all off than boil in the feelings of sadness and regret. It’ll eat him alive if he thinks too much about it.

“Yeah, you make it easier, too.”

“Was that something nice you just said?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jason groans. He nods his head up at you quickly. “How bad are the bruises?” You raise one brow at him. “I’m not a complete fucking asshole, alright? I don’t actually want you to get hurt.”

He’s thinking of caving. He gets you and you get him. Jason doesn’t have confidence about where this will go by any means but he’s confident he can trust you. If it were Jason, he’d never fucking quit if he were told he couldn’t train. He’d be training recklessly if he had to. You, at least had the brains to come and ask him for help. You’re not dumb, you’re desperate and Jason gets it. But he doesn’t want to contribute to your injuries if they’re that bad.

You think for a few seconds. They’re not great. Most of them are a deeper shades which means they’re further away from healing but you have a few older ones that have turned lighter in color. You know those aren’t the ones him and Dick are concerned about. And you could lie to him, it’s not like he’s going to pin you down and check for himself. But that doesn’t really feel right. Especially with him being nice to you and honest.

“What’s your definition of bad?” You ask, just trying to see how well you need to answer his question.

“Do they hurt?” Jason asks, not sure how to answer it.

“Well, yeah they’re bruises.”

“You know what I mean.” Jason groans.

“Yeah, they hurt. Like walking kind of hurts and bending certain ways hurts.”

“And you wanna fucking train and make it worse?”

“Do you ever rest? If you get hurt being Robin, do you rest or do you train?”

“Fine.” Jason groans, knowing he’s lost the battle. “But you know you’re not gonna run into the guy this week, right? The tower is secure so you don’t have shit to worry about.”

Jason caves. Training helps him deal with the bullshit. It makes him feel like he has a purpose. Being Robin is the one thing he does really well and it makes him feel like he belongs somewhere, something he’s never felt before. All the bullshit that happened before, it doesn’t matter when he’s Robin and when he’s training. He wants to give that to you.

“I know but I wanna be prepared. I wasn’t prepared last time.” You answer honestly. You will never let anyone do that to you again.

“You’re fucking crazy, ya know?” Jason chuckles softly.

“So are you, bud.” You get up. “Well, good talk. Lots of trauma bonding, but I’m gonna try to go tot bed.” You opt to end the conversation just in case he changes his mind but you’re a little disappointed. You do enjoy talking to him. Just like this.

Jason pauses for a second, looking up at you. You’re a human person and you have similarities in your traumas. It’s a little refreshing in a fucked up kind of way. No one else really gets it because it’s different, having a parent actively abandon you is different than dying. In a way, Jason thinks it’s worse. His mom picked drugs over him. He wasn’t good enough to love, by his own mother, and the only one who’d actually get that here is you. But, he knows that you might also benefit from actually talking about it with someone who can offer some actual support about it. It did help when he talked to Gar about it once.

“You should talk to Gar.” Jason says from the floor as you were on your way out.

“About?” You turn to look at him.

“What happened to you.” Jason gets up from the floor.

“Why?” You think it’s a bit weird to bring that up and now. You both just said it’s weird making it feel vulnerable and real.

Jason shrugs. “Might help, dealing with it.” He sucks in a breath as if it’s hard for him to even say. He hates talking about it but Gar will just listen. He’s the one person Jason has actually had a heart-to-heart to about it.

“Afraid I might…break him.” You laugh softly. “Ya know? Like he’s already seen some bad shit and he is…. unfathomably kind. I don’t wanna ruin him.”

Jason huffs but there’s a smile peaking onto his face. “He looks at the ligature marks on your wrists whenever you’re not tugging on your sleeves. Whatever he’s imagining happened to you is always going to be worse than what actually happened.” Jason says, his voice a bit flat and you can see this is a struggle for him to say and you wonder why.

“Like in horror movies. Choosing not to show the violence because what we imagine will always be scarier.”

“Yeah, I’m just saying, he’s a good listener if you just wanna be pissed about it.” Jason chuckles. “He’ll let you bitch about it.”

You smile at him and shake your head. Everyone here wants to talk so much shit about him which hey, maybe he deserves usually. But, you see through his bullshit because you do the same shit. It’s not cold-hearted, it’s a coping mechanism. A way to protect yourselves from getting hurt again. You get him, you get it and it makes you happy because he gets you, too.

“You’re not so bad, Jason Todd.” There's a genuine sweetness to your eyes as you say it and Jason doesn't believe it.

“I am the best.” He opens his arms, palms up, the arrogant smile beaming.

You roll your eyes, feeling bubbles and butterflies in your stomach. “Yeah, sure, goodnight, Jason.” You emphasis his name as you turn to leave and it sends Jason’s heart spinning.

“Goodnight, Y/n.” His voice is actually kind as he watches you leave.

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#gar logan #jason todd #gar logan x reader #garfield logan x reader #jason todd x reader #gar logan fanfic #gar logan fanfiction #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #caving in

[dotster001]

Hey! Congrats on your 1k followers! Going to give your a event a try. Keep up the great work. You are doing a great job! Let's do romantic Twst if thats okay. My first pick was Jade, he reminds me of another video game character. That character? That character is Loki from Devil Survivor Overclock. He did everything for his own amusment. Great game. I had Jade around for a while until Leona showed up. Though I sent Leona back because he is housewarden and Ruggie cant run the dorm for him. Jamil is curently with me on break from Kalim. I think about them all. But I also want them to focus and take care of themselves before come running to me. About me? I like a lot things, but I like ships most of all. In fact give me a chance and I will tell you the history naval warfare. Not just big ships interest me, small ones too. I tend to be a mother hen of my friends. I love animals, its just bugs I'm not very fond of. I think I would be on good terms with Jade and Leona. Might be fun to try a harem with the three of them. Oh I can see this one being a crack fic.

(Hope you like it, boo! It is a chaotic group, but I can also see similar traits that could work to make it better or worse depending on the day 😂)

In this Harem, We Self Care; A tale where Jamil, Leona, and Jade have to get their Shit Together

Three men stood outside of Ramshackle, glaring at each other. Jade held a single rose in his hand, and though his face was the calmest of the three, the stem was dangerously close to snapping. Leona held a gift bag that was full of things that probably cost more than both of the other boy's existence combined. Jamil had brought himself, he knew he was enough. But that didn't mean he didn't have the urge to throw the other two's gifts into the lake.

After a long tense stare down, the door opened. Grim looked at the three in shock, then rolled his eyes.

"It happened!" He yelled inside before leaving the dorm.

You came happily running down the stairs. "All three of you on the same day! I'm so happy! Sit. Sit."

Seeing your happy smile was worth having to deal with the other two. The three men sat on the tiny Ramshackle couch, shoulders touching, and resisted the urge to elbow each other.

"Okay," you said. "Who wants to go first?"

Leona stood up abruptly, tossed the gift bag at Jamil, and threaded his fingers with your, tapping one of your knuckles as he listed things off.

"I did all my paperwork, started regular therapy, did my homework, went to class, went to practice, and called my nephew three times."

You pulled a hand away and cupped his cheek. "I'm so proud of you Leona, good boy."

Then you pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He turned to sit back down with a smug smile at the other two boys. Jamil stood up abruptly, tossing the bag back at Leona.

"I had a discussion about my feelings with Kalim, started regular therapy, took up some offers to split the extensive work I have, and have built a self care day into my weekly schedule."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a soft kiss. "I'm so proud of you Jamil."

With his heart beating at 3 million miles a minute he sat back down.

The stem of the rose had snapped while he had sat there, but he knew he could work with that. He stood, put the rose behind your ear, then gracefully took your hand, pressing a delicate kiss to the back of your fingers.

"I delegated my extraneous work out to other students, scheduled a meditational walk into my day, set a reasonable sleep schedule, and spent some time doing things I love."

You nuzzled your nose against his, then kissed him.

"I'm so proud of you, Jade."

He gave a pleased hum and sat back down. All three men watched you in anticipation as you smiled like the sun.

"I just, you have no idea how happy I am! When I told you we should take a break until you learn to take care of yourselves, I had no idea you'd do so well! And you all came back to me on the same day? Wow, I just love you boys so much!"

"And we love you," Jamil said, probably a little too loudly, as he stood up and wrapped you in a hug, running his fingers through your hair, and pressing your face to himself. 

Nowhere to look but him, he thought to himself smugly.

"Yes, we'd do anything for our beloved herbivore," Leona stood up, looking for a way in to take you from Jamil. Finding none, he sighed and just decided to make it a group hug in order to get some contact with you.

"That said," Jade mused, "I believe the reward for the first person to take significant steps to take care of themselves, and make moves to heal, would be the sole recipient of your cuddles and affection for an entire week."

"Well, which one of you got here first?"

"I did." Three voices rang out unanimously, followed by arguing sounds

"Hey!" You shouted and the room went silent. "Okay, you all arrived at the same time so you'll each get a week. As to the order, I'm thinking of a number between one and five."

Jamil and Leona groaned, but Jade smiled. He always knew what number you'd pick. And the other two knew it.

"Three I guess," Leona groaned.

"Four," Jamil said.

"It's two," Jade said, and you nodded. He victoriously claimed his prize, by passionately kissing you. When he pulled away, he smiled sweetly at the other two, and said,

"Gentlemen, your services are no longer required," then he pointed at the door as you tried to hide an innocent giggle.

The other two sighed and walked out. Once outside the door, Jamil muttered, "I hate pick a number."

"Agreed," Leona groaned.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #1k followers #leona kingscholar x reader #leona x reader #twst leona #leona kingscholar #twst jamil #jamil viper x reader #jamil x reader #twisted wonderland jamil #jamil viper #jade leech x reader #jade x reader #jade leech #twst jade

[missmadwoman]

💫𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 2023💫

2023 has been a year to say the least so lets get into this 😂. As usual this is in no particular order cause I cant handle putting these into a proper order.

𝐓𝐨𝐩 5 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐬:

1. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐰 𝐂𝐚𝐟𝐞 (2022).

I watched this on a whim and boy am I glad I did. The female lead is so unhinged but in the best way and our main guy is so in love with her I cant. Literally this drama was such a fun time and everything connected together so well. Just watch this drama pls.

2. 𝐁𝐨 𝐑𝐚! 𝐃𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐡 {𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞} (2023).

Yoo In Na shines and I love the character growth that both the leads go through, everything that happens makes sense and it really does show that working on yourself isnt a linear process. There will be set backs but you can over come them. I tend to not care for side couples but I loved all of them in this, they were just hilarious or adorable.

3. 𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧 (2023).

I wasnt going to watch this drama but thankfully instagram reels made me interested enough to give this a chance. I love all 4 of the leads, they are my babies and they deserve all the happiness in the world.

4. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐅𝐥𝐲 𝐓𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮 (2023).

This was such a cute, fun drama. I didnt expect to love it as much as I did, the family dynamics, friendships, everything was so well done and the 2 couples were the cutest.

5. 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 (2023).

Literally Instagram reels made me watch this and I do not regret it. The melodrama, romance, revenge, plot twists... Everything was such a wild ride, I recommend that everyone watches it.

𝐓𝐨𝐩 5 𝐍𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬:

1. 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫 ~ 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧.

The irony, I always said that I wouldnt stan a group with more than 7 members 😂. Honestly I was just seeing too many funny reels about SVT and then I watched the Game Caterers videos without even knowing all of their names and Super was everywhere that I just fell into the rabbit hole that is Seventeen.

2. 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 ~ 𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐨.

My bias came and she ate. I love this song and it showed in my top 2023 songs its at number 6... The top 5 are all Taylor obviously.

3. 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 ~ 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤.

He came and took over the world. Nothing more to say about that.

4. 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦 ~ 𝐄𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧.

Yall need to stop sleeping on Enhas japanese discography. This song is just so sweet and wonderful. I cant with it.

5. 𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 ~ 𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐦.

I just loved this whole song and the album too. Next LSF comeback when?!.

𝐓𝐨𝐩 5 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬:

So last time I only had the vault tracks but Speak Now was the album that made me a swiftie so not limiting myself to just the vault tracks this time.

1. 𝐇𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝.

This is my absolute favourite song. It is just such a masterpiece and can be related to in any situation.

2. 𝐄𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝.

I love this song so much, I have a one shot of the same name 😂.

3. 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐅𝐥𝐲.

Im a hopeless romantic okay.

4. 𝐈𝐬 𝐈𝐭 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐨𝐰.

Do I even need to explain myself with this.

5. 𝐒𝐥𝐮𝐭!.

Most definitely not what I was expecting but I love it so much.

5 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝:

1. Bestie got married, shes happy and Im happy for her. It was a proper desi wedding and it was good fun.

2. I FINALLY graduated from University😂. Only took me like 5 years, one failed attempt and repeating my third year.

3. Made some great friends from the school I worked at, we bonded over how messed up the school we worked at is.

4. Managed to travel and have such great experiences.

5. Im happy with the fanfics I wrote this year. Still shocked that people actually read and enjoy the stuff I write but Im immensely grateful for all the love and support I get.

#year in review #year in review 2023 #kdramas #top 5 songs #top 5 taylor songs #5 positive things that happened #zainabs year in review #2023 review time #songs #positive things #the law cafe #perfect marriage revenge #when i fly towards you #twinkling watermelon #true to love #super seventeen #flower jisoo #seven jungkook #blossom enhypen #unforgiven lsf #haunted tv #enchanted tv #sparks fly tv #is it over now tv #slut! tv

[yourimagines]

can u do nate x reader where reader gets really bad nightmares at Night so he takes care of her

Its super fluffy 💕, I’m sorry 😂

Nightmares

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Triggers: a lot of fluff, little bit of swearing and a little bit of angst

Nate POV

-1 am-

I was laying awake in bed thinking about everything what’s happening in my life. The upcoming , my brother being suspended for 5 years and who’s having a depression. I sighed and looked down at my girl. Sleeping peacefully next to me. ‘At least she’s sleeping, for now.’ I carefully got out of bed and walked to the kitchen for a midnight snack. I opened the top cabinet and took a some cookies out of the jar. “I’m hungry.” I opened the fridge and looked inside. I sighed “Nothing.” I closed the door and walked back to bed. She was still sleep I’m peacefully. I crawled back in and gave her a kiss on her head.

-2 am-

I was tossing around, still not sleeping. ‘How is this possible!’ I throw away my blanket, placing it on her softly. ‘Is to warm in here.’ I lay down on my back, staring at the dark ceiling above me. ‘What if he’s done with all the fighting.’ ‘Nahh, he’s a fighter, he’s just need a push into the right direction.’ ‘But what if he doesn’t want to fight anymore?’ I tried to shake away the weird thoughts about my brother. ‘Come on Nate, hes fucking Nick Diaz from Stockton, he’s not a bitch.’ I closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep.

-3 am-

I woke up from a sound. I looked around me where the noises came from. I felt Y/N moving next to me. ‘Nightmares.’ She was mumbling my name. I carefully rubbed against her cheeks, trying to wake her up. “Baby? Its okay I’m here.” Her body reacts to me as her arms stretched out, searching for me. “I’m here.” She whines out as I pulled her close. “I know, I’m here.” I rub my thumbs against her face, trying to wake her up. Her legs slightly kicking around. “Nate…” her breathing was fast but short. “Baby, it’s okay.” I held her close to my bare chest. Her eyes flew open and looked in panic around. “Nate?” She grabbed my bicep firmly. “Yes, I’m here baby.” I grabbed her hand, she looks at me. The panic in her eyes made room for something else, tears. She starts to cry. She duked her head against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her back, slightly rubbing her back. “Nate…. I was so scared….” She was trying to keep calm but failed. “I’m here, No need to be scared.” “It felt so real…” I kissed her head. “I know but nobody is going to hurt you ever again, I’ll protect you baby.” She nods. “It’s okay.” I placed a few kisses as she cries further into my chest.

-4 am-

She was laying down on my chest, tracing my birthmarks “Do you want to talk about it?” She looks up, her eyes red and puffy from the crying. “It was about my ex.” She whispered. “What happened?” Her lip starts to tremble. “He was here and got in a fight with you.” I cupped one side of her face, and traced with my thumb her cheek. “He…he killed you.” A tear falls down her cheek, I quickly wiped it away. “After that he run after me, that’s also the time I woke up.” I wiped away some hair that fell onto her face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’ve woke you up.” I shook my head. “No don’t you ever be sorry, you can always wake me up, always.” I pulled her into my lap, caressing her. “I’m sorry you have these nightmares, I wish I could take them away. I hate to see you like this baby.” I kissed her head. She nods and places her hands on my face. Tracing my birthmarks. “I’ll will promise you, that he’s not going to kill me, its the other way around.” She smiles at me. “You will?” “Baby, I will kill everyone if I have to.” She places a kiss on my cheek. “But I need you Nate, can’t have you in jail.” I chuckled and squeezed softly in her hips. “Believe or not but I need you as well, you’re my muse. My better half.” She leans forward and kisses me tenderly. I kissed her back, deepening the kiss. “I love you Nate.” “ I love you too baby.”

#ufc x reader #nate diaz imagine #nate diaz x reader #mma imagine #x reader #imagines #imagine #x y/n #y/n x character #x you #x yn #character x you #y/n imagines #y/n #fluff imagine #x y/n fluff #x you fluff #fluff x reader #fluff #angst imagine #reader x crush #reader x character #nate x reader #fanfic

[marengogo]

QUICKIE - 2: Watchu Want Me To Say Tho?!...

Listening to INDIGO by RM on repeat. STILL. YES. I KNOW.

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

I know, I know, I know .. I have blogs to complete, comments to reply and asks waiting for me to answer; I know. There are reasons for the lack thereof, of course, but today, today I will not stay here and bore you with My Lifes’ Whys, I’m currently feeling a heavy wave of sadness, which I am starting to finally recognise as a sign that my period is looming. Used to only have pain, but now I’ve evolved to heave-ass sadness ungracefully tiptoeing its way into depression, which given some personal stuff and very recent Tannie Jin specifically stuff, couldn’t have come at a worse time. But I digress, as I said, today I shall not share negative stuff.

Instead, I’d like to share a cute/funny/peculiar thing that I realised/noticed Jikook do from time to time when they start something with each other and one of them proceeds to perhaps take it a bit too far until the other is left in a situation where they are like: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” NGL, most of it is usually JM, but JK has his fair share;source: Trust Me Bro. As this is a “quickie” I’ll bring up 3 examples for each. Let’s start with JM.

#1 … IT’S JUST A GAME THO.

Time & Place: RUN BTS 15 - Aired March 14, 2017.

This was the second episode of “The Spy Who Returned” 3 parts RUN BTS episodes. At the very beginning of the episode, they are playing a “tolerance” game where they are divided into couples and each has to say something that they don’t like or that bothered them about the other and the other has to not be offended and “sincerely” state that they “understand/I see”. The couples were: Tae & Namjoon, JM & Jin and JK and Hobi (Yoongi was the host).

JK & Hobi went last and though JK had nothing to say, Hobi did, lots to say in fact 😂, which in itself would have been enough but JM, out of nowhere, had the not-so-brilliant impulse to get up in there, uncalled, to question JK about a mysterious toothbrush. JK is clearly taken-aback like all of us watching I am sure given that he and JM are in the same team. Yet JM doesn’t stop, he clearly wants to hear something from JK in regards to … the toothbrush. JK does reply, and says that the toothbrush wasn’t his and JM stands there speechless, seemingly not expecting that answer … oh the confusion of it all! …  which is why JK’s “it wasn’t me” actually really felt to me more like a: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” .

This to me in “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …”-vibe is very close to the “JK hugs me when he sleeps” moment which happened at the Sinchon Fansign - May 15, 2015.

#2 SO MUCH FOR PRESENTS …

Time & Place: FESTA 2017 - Aired June 12, 2017.

We’ve actually already discussed this in a different previous post. This was one of the few times where JK wasn’t able to even try and reply to something. If it were me, and we were just friends, you’d have to wait for me to gift you something on your next birthday: YES I’M PETTY. Yet, homeboi pulled up that same year with a trip to Tokyo as a gift, so obviously the problem wasn’t the question itself. What was the problem? We will most likely never know, but in that very moment JK’s silence was definitely a: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” silence.

#3 SO YOU GETTING MARRIED UH?

Time & Place: WEVERSE LIVE in Busan - October 15, 2022.

This is one of my recent personal favs, because as opposed to the Jikook VLIVE - June 21, 2020, which also had to do with a marriage related question, this time around JK tried his very best to not divert the convo and hold his own. Yeah, he really did … but JM was not having it. He really wasn’t. How many of you have said “Yoongi Marry Me” for fun? How many of them have said “Yoongi Marry Me” for fun, including JM? At times even changing the Subject all in good fun.

This time around, JK simply mentioned that saw “Jungkook Marry Me” and all hell broke loose. Yeah, for some reason, JM wasn’t having it, and so began a little back-and-forth between the two at the end of which JM accepted that in summary JK “just saw the sign and meant to take no action”. JM smiled/laughed, got up and got out of frame. JK also smiled, watching JM leave, with a: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” giggle, like I don’t even know what just happened tho! aaand he proceeded to wait for him to get back like:

Jiminah … 😬.

And now it’s JK’s turn. Differently from JM this young man is a tad more determined in getting his answers and JM indulges, for the most part, in fact I’ve noticed that he’s never just kept silent, but don’t let it fool you, cause at times, whatever answer he provides wasn’t the answer JK was looking for; lest we forget that JM is indeed the HYUNG … but yeah, let’s get it!

#1 SOMETHING ABOUT THIS PICTURE …

Time & Place: JinJiKook VLIVE in Osaka - December 15, 2016.

Jin and Jimin decide to have a candy-centric episode of EatJin, and Jimin seems to be a bit on his mischievous streak right from the bat, but Jin, being the outstanding eldest hyung that he is doesn’t seem to mind at all and cutely goes along with his playful dongsaeng. All is well thus far until the bell rings and, you’ve guessed, it is JK.

By this point Jin, like all of us, is still very much oblivious to any argument/quarrel which might have happened between JM and JK, one may even dare say that frankly my dears, he didn’t give a damn! But JM had damns to give and so he did, testing JK on the other side of Jin’s closed hotel room. Jin is now starting to get confused and to this point, JM has full control of the whole situation, until JK whips out his cellphone. 

Quite clearly JM didn’t take JK seriously, at first, he even egged him to post “whatever questionable pic” JK thought he had but that was Jin’s danger-alert-signal moment: no questionable pic was going to be uploaded on his watch and that’s how the doors were finally opened to the maknae. So, once JK got his way into the room, Jin, and us watching, clearly could sense something going on, but as for what exactly, nobody had a good clue. Like anything else revolving around Jikook afterall, for example, we may know that they once fought and JK ended up crying in the rain (FESTA 2020 - Aired June 12, 2020), but as to what caused the argument? … 🤷🏾‍♀️.

JM at this point is still trying to have it his way don’t ask me why, how would I know?! But JK was high on courage that day and ever so casually, the moment JM tried to leave the room, he once again whipped out his phone, pulled up a particular pic which we got to see later as JK did momentarily uploaded and it seemed he had something like a hickey on his neck and simply said “I took a good selfie” and JM quickly sat back down and replied “I won’t go then, all right” in a very: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” resigned manner. Then again, if the selfie was just that, a good selfie, JM could have easily said “sure, go ahead and show them”, but that’s not what happened right? 

#2 STILL, YOU TURNED IT OFF 

Time & Place: Jungkook (eventually TaeJiJinKook) VLIVE in New Jersey - May 19, 2019.

Yet again, Jin and Jimin were up to their shenanigans with our maknae, who just wanted to show his face to ARMY. That’s all he wanted but the other two ended the stream. So what does one do? If you are a JM you post a quick apology video on twitter, but if you are a JK you start your own stream: obviously. 

This stream is supposed to be just you doing exactly what you wanted to do to begin with, show your face to ARMY, but then … all of a sudden there is a cough in the background and the plan folds when do plans every work anyways?!, immaright?.

Hence starts a whole convo summarising what just happened in Jin’s room leading up to JK’s “cutting off” during which not only does JM explain himself, he also apologises and lets JK once again know that he loves him. Yet, JK still stresses that, he just👏🏾 can’t 👏🏾let👏🏾 it 👏🏾go👏🏾 at which point JM decides that it is time for him to leave in a very: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” fashion, more like “what else do you want me to say?!”. 

#3 I SEE HOW IT IS …

Time & Place: FESTA 2022 - June 14, 2022.

Emotions are running high, slightly tipsy, but still hella high as the boys start getting us ready to momentarily part from them. Within all of this there is a lot, A LOT, of banter there are even first official talk of a PJM1 and everyone was hella excited, ARMY and TANNIES alike except for a certain JK who playfully made it known that he didn’t appreciate not knowing about progress in said PJM1, not once, not twice, not thrice, but 4 times (didn’t put the 4th time in the pic because, you know, aesthetics 😌).

JM does try to explain that he’d told everyone that they were all more than welcome to go and listen to him working if they wanted though apparently JK wanted his hyung to go to him instead, but that is a different story … in addition, when Namjoon pointed out that Hobi will always be the first for JM, both JM and Hobi quickly worked together to deny the “accusations” but at this point I think JK was very much speeding on the “I AM UPSET”-train, so much so that none of it seemed to matter and he very much and very blatantly ended up telling JM:

At which JM did reply, quickly, shyly and all the colors in between, that “I am sorry” but in a very: I mean “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” way, and who knows, were the cameras not on he might have had more to add, but, we’ll never know!

There are actually many more moments I can think of, and much funny at that, but this was supposed to be a quickie, and I can see that it ain’t damn … So let me just leave you all with this, go make myself productive, and not stress about life for a second or two. Hope you all have a great week, okay? Okay! 

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💗 pink heart in honour of Jin,

Marengo.

#QUICK JKK #Jikook #Watchu Want Me To Say Tho Jikook #Youtube

[beautifulsnake2162020]

Beautiful Anomaly (Part 3): Morpheus x FReader

(Gif by  11thstreetvigilante in this post: Karl Conveys His Warm Regards — Dream's a Dream @pirategamora (tumblr.com))

Morpheus x FemReader (present day, its a little hard to explain)

A couple of disclaimers:

1.) This is all based on the Netflix show and I have 0 background on the graphic novel it is based on (so don't expect it to be faithful);

2.) This is a fan work, the only benefit I derive from this is sharing it with the community.

We now come to part 3! I will admit that this might not be my best work 😅 Because I'm mainly setting up for Part 4. I am hoping I will manage to finish this story without exceeding Part 5 (Like maybe there's a Part 6 for the NSFW scenes because I know not everyone wants to read Smut so I separated it from the main story).

Like with Part 2 I will be pinning this so that there is due notice to the entire world (Aka action in rem hahaha sorry remedial law joke).

If it's your first time seeing this I encourage you to read it from the very beginning because some things might be confusing for you (especially in this chapter since I've brought some stuff back from Part 1). You can read part 1 here:

And you can read part 2 here:

I made it big so you have no choice but to notice it 😂

Taglist (if you want to be a part of the taglist just comment requesting so) : @winxschester @true-queen-of-mischief @laydreams @memento-mora @daydreamin1220 @kuchokitty @fate-huntress @igotanidea

BANG!

You awaken from the memory of your traumatic death from your last lifetime. It has been awhile since you've had a memory of yours play out in a dream. You're not sure what to make of it since you could barely remember any of the dreams you've had. But this dream, or rather this memory recently started to appear. Each time it appeared, it became more vivid.

It's almost as if the fates were trying to tell you something, while also tormenting your psyche like the sadists that they are. You aren't sure what they want from you, or if they were taunting your failure right back at you. Morpheus was still imprisoned, and you don't know what happened to Jessamy. A part of you wants to believe that she managed to escape. But all other parts of you upon reviewing what the memory has shown, it was more likely that like you she ended up dead. How you don't know, but with you dead she was definitely no longer concealed. If she didn't leave right away, she would definitely have gotten caught.

You didn't need to imagine what people could and would do to any animal they've caught that was causing them a huge inconvenience. You've had too many memories of moments that you couldn't look away from.

BANG!

Thunder strikes as the downpour of rain increases. It was rainy season in the tropical country you now call your home. Based on how strong the sounds of the downpour is, and approximately how the sky was dark enough to deceive you into thinking that you slept the whole day if it weren't for your wall clock and phone. It's about 8:30 in the morning, but because of the downpour your law school has declared that there are no classes for everyone's safety.

It was fortunate that your next class was still the day after tomorrow, allowing you some free time to think of anything other than what the legal definition of what an obligation is. You decide to send a message to a friend of yours who was a psychologist and who also had a scientific approach to interpreting your dreams. She's been doing this since high school. And you hope that she's online or at least she sees the message you've left her.

Hey, Nadia if you're free and mentally and emotionally available to give a dream analysis; I had a dream that has been recurring for some sleeps now. It gets pretty dark: I was stabbed to death multiple times and the last thing I felt was someone shooting me from behind? Well it was more vivid the last time I slept. This time I was able to see my killer's face and hair. He had on glasses and was blonde. He had a grin on his face that was so human and yet so inhuman. That must sound really weird, but its the best way I could describe it. You might be unsurprised by this, but I didn't think that committing murder would bring that much joy to anyone. If it was revenge for something I did, I'm not sure what it is. And if I'm going to die because somebody wanted revenge on me, I would at least like to know what it was before I pass.

Wondering what your dream analysis might make of this. Take care.

You didn't add that it was more of a memory of your past life. You didn't need her influenced by that fact. Maybe there was something hidden that you just weren't seeing. If it still didn't make sense to her (which you highly doubt since if given the chance she would psychoanalyze almost everything), then you would add it to your discussion. You press send, and hope that your Wi-Fi connection wasn't compromised. Even if the weather wants you to go back to sleep, you're scared to do so too soon.

BANG!

Thunder strikes the ground again. A little too close for comfort near your window sill.

This won't do.

You grab your yoga mat and set it on the floor. If anything happens, its rubber and would serve as an inductor if ever some lightning just so happens to suddenly enter indoors.

Maybe a yoga session by Sarah Beth Yoga would clear up your mind.

After you finish your session you see a message appear from someone you haven't heard from in awhile.

VF: Hello, I'm not sure if you're even awake now given our different time zones. But if you do see this and we're both online, I would really like to talk to you. I need your advice on something.

VF: Btw I hope you don't mind me changing my username.

You take a moment to briefly stretch and wipe of some of the sweat from your forehead before checking to see if he was online (he was), and before replying back.

Sure, just give me 30 minutes, then I'll vidcon you through messenger. I just finished yoga and need to freshen up.

You do your best to make yourself presentable. You unfurl your long black hair from it's fishtail braid and applied moisturizer for the sake of your skincare. Thanks to the braid, your hair has molded into what you call "controlled curls" which may still be prone to frizz because you live in a tropical climate near the equator with high humidity. But at least this way, it was much more elegant than just a chaotic mess of frizzy hair.

You briefly glance out the window to check if the rain is still strong. From the looks of it, it has lightened up enough to allow some brightness outside, and the downpour has been reduced. Good. This means the internet will be stronger.

You begin the call and a young man who was about the same age as you currently were, of Indian descent is on the screen. You couldn't help but smile as you see how much he has grown over time.

"Hello Jared."

"Hello father-um I mean mother."

"Jared my son, you know I don't mind you calling me father. That is what you called me when I conceived you in your first lifetime with your mother. And its just the two of us here. Is there something wrong with your reincarnated life?"

"No-nothing majorly wrong with my life so far - and I know you don't mind, but I want to respect your current pronouns." You see him take a breath as you see him anxious.

"What's the problem?"

"Do you...do you think its possible to regret being born?" Your eyes narrow in concern.

"Jared, what is this about?"

"Father...I'm in love. But I'm not allowed to love this person." Ah, so that's what this is about. You feel yourself relax a bit as your fears that your son from a previous lifetime was not contemplating suicide.

"And why aren't you allowed to love this person?"

"Well she's agnostic - it doesn't bother me at all - but my biological parents in this lifetime wants her to convert. But I don't want to force her into something she doesn't believe in. But my parents who has control over plenty of things in my life says its my duty to do so. Honestly father, I think they are making my life harder for rejecting the girl they wanted me to marry." He takes a breath before continuing on his rant about his love dilemma. You acquire some of the details, but that was just to supplement in making the situation clearer.

"I know its all arbitrary. I know it's all just a societal fiction and that it's not perfect-but I can't help but feel like I'm being forced to choose between the person I love and my duty as an Indian son born into a conservative family...father, I know you can't directly help me in my dilemma. And I know ultimately it is I who must make the decision. But was there ever a time you were also forced to make this type of decision? To choose between duty and love?" You can see the desperation on his face as he awaits what you have to say.

Fortunately for him, you have had experience in this.

Unfortunately, your internet connection began wavering.

But you have a solution that could possibly do more.

"I'll show you my memories. My internet is wavering right now so we will need to go there anyway. Close your eyes and relax then reach into the bond we share as parent and child. I shall see you there." He nods before turning off his end of the call. You go to your sofa and lie down on it, closing your eyes and relaxing yourself you find the bond you share with Jared among the part of your mind that contained the bonds you share with all your other children. In your mind's eye, those that are colored are children from previous lifetimes that are still alive. But as of now the bonds are either gray which means they have died; or some of the grey bonds have a colored glow to them. These are the ones that have been reincarnated, and Jared's bond is grey with a glowing color that is in between yellow and orange. Or at least that's the closest description you can come up with.

You reach out and mentally touch the bond and it brings you into a sprawling garden. Jared was in the center seated on the ground with his back hunched forward.

"Stand up Jared, its time I showed you some of my memories." You wave a hand changing the environment into a starry night in a beach.

"Are you going to show me how you fell in love with Morpheus?" You chuckle with a bittersweet tone.

"I know its hard to believe, but I've had other loves before I realized my feelings for Morpheus. What I'm about to show you is probably one of my if not the first actual romance I've had in the early days of humanity." You see your past form, a clearly female warrior bringing her weapons to a hidden cave in the beach.

"I was the leader of my tribe's warriors. Everyone was counting on me for plenty of things, but most of all they were counting on me to give them a victory of any kind." You see your past self peek in to see if there was a fire, fortunately there was. It means he was inside.

"The man I fell in love with was in the same position as mine. His name was Orkis, and after having fought enough times on the battlefield and almost always ending in a stalemate, we decided to approach an alternative tactic to resolving the conflict between both of our tribes." Beside the fire that warmed the cave was an attractive man with lean muscle encased in a broad frame. His black hair was straight and went past his shoulders and ended in the middle of his upper arm. His eyes didn't part from the flames, but the moment your past self's steps were heard, the tension from his body was released.

"You're late." His baritone voice said. Loud enough for you to hear, but soft enough that it was only you who could hear.

"I can't just leave the festivities too early. Everyone will suspect I am up to something."

"Tsch, you are up to something. Secretly meeting with the leader of your rival tribe."

"Oh come on, is that all I am to you?" Your past self goes closer to Orkis, laying down her weapons as a sign of goodwill. Once she was close enough, he grabbed her waist and placed you on his lap and looks into her eyes.

"Hildiko, please don't ask me that ever again. If I could marry you right now, I would. If I could lay you down here and ravish you till you are pregnant with my child, I would..." A look of understanding was shared between them.

She sighs.

"...but we can't. We may have plans but they are still so fragile." She presses her forehead against his. You remember how hurt you were, you hate remembering how painful this is...

But Jared needs to know this lesson.

"What if we eloped? Started our own tribe?"

"You don't mean that. You love your brother. You're one of the few people he trusts. And even though he is my rival leader, I respect him enough not to steal his commander and sister away from him." She buries herself in his embrace, upset but understanding that he has seen through her. You take a glance at Jared who has a confused look on his face.

"The context is that my brother is technically the chief of our tribe."

"Technically?"

"His legs were amputated to prevent an infection of gangrene from his last raid. Because of that injury he gave the martial side over to me, his then second in command while he ruled over none martial matters in the tribe. Politically this also solved any dispute or issue since the power is still kept within our family." You both turn back to the scene unfolding before you.

"Do you think it's going to be our last night together?"

"If not tonight then one of these nights. Neither your brother or my best friend is willing to change their minds. No matter how much we've used our influence on them." She sighs as she straightens her back against his chest. He rests his head at the crook of her neck and shoulder.

"You know what pains me?"

"What?"

"I actually understand where both of them are coming from. And if our places had been switched, I may even probably make similar choices."

"Its why you haven't left your place by your brother's side." You feel yourself tear up as you watch your past self struggle to keep her despair within herself.

"Sometimes I ask myself why does it have to be this way? Why do we need to fight each other? Why do we need to die to protect our way of life?" She begins to shed tears as she turns to look at the man she has fallen in love with.

"And then...both you and my inner voice remind me why...we're simply doing what we believe is right. None of us wants to be treated as less than what we are. And both our people are too stubborn to give any of that up." Orkis smiles sadly at her.

"We're too selfless to serve anything lesser than the greater good." He places her back into his chest.

"Even if it means that we will have to endure this heartbreak."

"Father I don't understand. Why couldn't the two of you have just gotten married and united everyone into one tribe?"

"It's not that simple. My tribe sees women as equals and it is the reason why I am even considered a martial leader. The tribe of Orkis is patriarchal and to add to that, they have a history of enslaving and sacrificing survivors of defeated rival tribes. Even if I were to marry Orkis as a political move, it wouldn't be seen as an equal partnership. It would be seen as willing surrender and subjugation even though that is not the case. The quality of life of my tribe would still decline since people from his tribe may use me. That's not everything of course since I've forgotten many of it by now. But the point is that even a marriage still wouldn't solve anything."

"So what happened?" With a wave of your hand, the scene shifts to a battlefield. Among the many dead bodies was your past self lying on top of Orkis.

You wish you could turn your eyes, but you for Jared's sake you need to watch this alongside him.

Your past self reluctantly positions a dagger above your beloved's heart. His hand guiding yours.

"Hildiko...come on...you can do it." She begins to cry; this was going to be the last time.

"Beloved, you need to do it. You have defeated my forces...this is the only thing left to do before you can claim victory over us-"

"Can't I say a few words first?" He gives a small nod. The end was near for him, and he of all people knows that her confidence is a special thing to have earned.

"Someone once told me that when desires are left unchecked they lead to despair. And yet when I sacrifice my own desires for desires that I know serves the greater good, I still encounter despair anyway." She caresses his face, savoring the last few moments he will be alive.

"I knew that the moment I realized I loved you more than I should. And yet you've always somehow inspired me to keep doing the right thing, even if we both knew it might lead to this."

"There are some things that are more important than a forbidden love like ours."

"...I know." She takes a breath before looking back at his eyes.

"Hildiko, why are you delaying the inevitable?"

"Just give me a few more moments." You hear some warriors that are coming your way. They still have some distance to run or walk but they will be here soon.

"Thank you, Orkis." You see her give him one last kiss on the lips before she stabs the dagger into his heart.

You remembered how clean the cut was.

He wasn't in pain for long. You made sure of that.

"What are you trying to tell me? That I should obey my parents?" The environment returns to the garden that you've seen when you first entered.

"That is something for you to decide. I made my choices based on what I thought was right at that time. And a part of me regrets not doing more to seduce him into having a child with me. But Jared, I would like to point out something." He turns to look at you.

"The circumstances when I made that decision is entirely different from yours. Back then, the freedom of my tribe was at stake, among other things. But you don't have to endure that burden...even if you may feel like you do. Take some time away from both your parents and the person you love. Perhaps that may enlighten you."

"I'm still confused father, aren't there lifetimes wherein you definitely chose love over duty? I recall you saying that there were lifetimes wherein you had both a wife and a husband."

"Yes I did. My love is for all whom I give it to. And looking at it now after revisiting the first love that got away...some of those lifetimes wherein I chose the alternative-especially if I had no burden on my shoulders-was me trying to not make the same choice again when it wasn't necessary."

You both hear someone vaguely call out to him.

"It seems that is all the advice I could give you now. Either way, I hope you end up happy my son."

"...Thank you, Father" The two of you embrace before you gently guide his consciousness out of the bond. Once his consciousness was on its way to physically waking, you make your own exit from the bond.

You awaken and a glance to your window shows that the rain is starting to end since now it's more of a shower. And yet somehow you showing your son those early distant memories left you feeling more emotional than before.

Then a presence enters the room.

"How may I be of service Despair?" You didn't need to glance towards her to know she was delighted by your current mental and emotional state.

"Why, I am just here to be of service to you. After all you are the one who still has some regrets about Orkis." Oh please. as if that wasn't the most blatant half-truth that you've ever heard.

"As if you aren't planning something with Desire and probably using me. I may not know how-" You give her a sharp disapproving look.

"-but its not going to end well for me or for others."

"Now hold on Life." She replies louder than usual. It's been awhile since anyone has called you by that name.

"Your emotions were the one who called to me. I don't need to be here to reap its rewards."

"And yet you are here anyway." She grins at you. By its own nature it makes you uncomfortable.

"There's something blocking those cries of despair within you."

"I placed that block there, even I couldn't go on living if I just remained in the misery of what could have been instead of actually being present in the moment."

"Then maybe while you're free today, maybe you could remove that mental block of yours and finally let out those cries of yours." She didn't bother to hide her excitement at even just the concept of you actually doing that.

"Something's up. And you and Desire want me to go insane with any outward expression of what I thought about my time with Orkis."

"Well what do you have to lose? And is it really so hard to imagine that Desire and I are also doing this so you could be happier?"

"YES! It's very hard for me to imagine that right now. If this was in one of my earlier lifetimes then maybe I could give you two the benefit of the doubt. But even that has it's limit."

"Oh stop denying yourself Life. Inside you know you need to experience such heartbreak. Especially since you are responsible for the death of Jessamy."

Wait

What?

"What do you mean?"

"Oh you didn't know" Her grin widens as she sees the shock to your face.

"Jessamy died trying to break the glass cage which imprisoned Dream. The moment you started losing consciousness, she went to work trying to break it from the side - right on front of him might I add - and she was shot from behind by Alex Burgess."

No

NO

"No, No, this can't be - you're lying! You must be lying!" Despair begins laughing and it made you more uneasy.

"I'm just the one who delivered the message to you in this lifetime. If you don't want to believe me then ask Death." You feel a pain in your chest as you feel tears begin to shed once again.

The bullet you felt from the back.

That wasn't for you.

You were already dying.

It was because of your bond with Jessamy that you felt her final moments and together you died.

"Yes...that's it Life...release your despair for Jessamy." You feel her go nearer to you as you feel yourself become even more miserable.

Would she have still been alive if you had waited for more time?

Would she hate you for not being able to protect her?

"You fell in love with Orkis because both of you were too selfless to achieve your own desires. Both of you would do what you thought was right. And what happened now hmm?" Some memories from your past lives quickly flash through your mind.

Times when you chose to become hedonistic and as a result, those who were close to you hated you or became envious of you.

Times when you chose to become selfish and the world ended up bringing you into despair anyway.

Despair, it lead there one way or the other.

It was unavoidable.

And you feel yourself crying out more and more.

"That's it Life... Those doubts that you have in your head... Those endless possibilities of what you could have done something differently...All those regrets...Let it feed your despair" You feel her satisfied with what she has made you do.

"You and other beings despair over the desires you can't have. Why not release the mental block in your mind? Release it while you are open to your emotions now."

"What...good...will that do me?" You ask in between sobs.

"Because once you have fueled me with the despair you have within you, for the choices you've made so far... you could finally feed your own selfish desires."

And then you woke up from your own self-pity.

So that's why they want you to remove your mental block.

Without the mental block you have placed on some memories and things about yourself, life would be more chaotic than it already was. Allowing the main fuels of life onwards to be more primal, more ruthless than it already was.

Despair and Desire would have more power.

But then again, you doubt that they know that there's more to life than that. It's why you fell in love with Orkis, even though your love did not produce a child. If life was only about an endless chain of self-pity and unhindered selfish desires then you lose the beauty and nuance of the bonds formed and shared.

The beauty in the little things like waking up to your favorite meal.

The beauty in achievements finally made after a long journey.

The beauty in the community that offers the social bonds that we crave for.

The beauty to dream of something better for yourself and for the world.

Would these still exist if you removed your mental blocks? Perhaps. But it would also be overshadowed by the paradigm that Desire and Despair have in mind if left unchecked and unbalanced by other things.

You calm yourself down and you notice that Despair was still there. But this time she wasn't as happy as she was earlier.

So, she has noticed that you've connected the dots too.

"I will admit, you've done a good job in almost convincing me to do something I will definitely regret later had I only listened to you." You grab a tissue nearby as you wipe away any remaining tears as you glare at her direction.

"I am well aware of the choices I've made. Do I regret some of them? Perhaps. And some people would choose to wallow in self-pity blinded by their past mistakes, hindering them from what they could have become." You stand up with your back straightened and your eyes narrowed.

It's about time to remind the twins about a few things.

"You have definitely made your points. And they are true, but not entirely. You and Desire seem to have forgotten that beings have the ability to choose not to pursuit life simply based on despair and desire." You feel yourself smirking as you see unease creep into her face.

"If the two of you were the only things that life is about - or that life should be about - then I wouldn't be this complicated in the first place. Yes, you two are near inevitable parts of life, but you are not the only ones that matter. Any being with the capacity to dream has the agency to choose what stories to tell themselves and how they should act upon it." You walk towards her, this time you feel your own rage and power fuels each step you make. And her body makes it way backwards in response.

"This, Despair dear, is why Dream is your older sibling. Born from the first subconscious thoughts I've made. And formed stories based on the stories I formed in the waking world as I lived my life. Which stories I chose to tell myself and which ones I continue believe in also resulted in yours and Desire's births. You two are only parts making up a whole of what beings experience in their lifetimes. Including your own. Take some time to remind this to Desire as you tell them of your failed attempt at convincing me to tear down all of my mental walls." You see her prepare to leave. If you were being honest with yourself you could have forced her out of there.

But a part of you wanted some sort of petty revenge for what she and Desire had almost made you do. You were still pissed off.

"Those mental blocks are there not simply because I don't want to visit those memories. As you've seen, I could visit them anytime, and have just done so with my son. Those boundaries are there to allow me to actually live. If all I did was contemplate about what could have been, then I couldn't actually live out what's happening in the moment. And if that were the case, then I wouldn't be fulfilling my duties. Without them I may have just simply become paralyzed and insane at replaying the same story over and over again...much like how you are stuck in the same story of your jealousy for me." To your satisfaction she reacts with unease even though she tried to control it on front of you.

"I'm-I'm not stuck. You're making things up now to escape your feelings."

"Oh I am very well aware of my feelings. I am empowered by the conscious mind remember? That includes yours, and your hidden jealousy at how in your flattering opinion, I am one of the few beings that actually looks good in the Crocs classic clog and your own insecurity at not being able to measure up to me. It's all about balancing your outfit Despair dear. Ah yes, balance, a concept that you and your twin seem to not fully understand." She abruptly leads. Pride severely wounded as she was fed with some little despair of her own.

That'll teach them for awhile.

It's time to do some actual work for awhile. Especially when you're trying to take a break from matters concerning Endless beings. Later just after you finish your dinner you receive a message from Nadia.

Nadia: A recurring dream may point to a memory. And it is common for victims to show signs of trauma. You say that this is a recent dream? Perhaps, it could be something unresolved deep within your subconscious. Trying to tell you to confront the source of your trauma (either recent or past trauma). The fact that this time you were able to make out details of your perpetrator may indicate that your subconscious is showing you that you know the source of your trauma that has lay untreated. That's so far what I could pick up from what you've told me.

Unresolved trauma. That seems to be the running theme for today.

You grab a candle from your stash. You aren't certain if what Despair told you was the entire truth about Jessamy, you were certain that your fears were confirmed.

It wasn't that Jessamy was never going to die. All things have an eventual end. It was that she died while trusting you to help her free Morpheus.

She had died in vain.

And you're not sure if Morpheus...if he would even speak to you again for your failure. A part of you hopes that at the very least he would tell you to never speak to him again. His anger would be easier over and dealt with so you wouldn't have to spend the rest of your relatively immortal life wondering.

A part of you is hoping to at least have the chance to apologize. He has every right to hate you, but you at least want to state your side.

With the candle lighted on your normally cluttered desk. You bow your head as you say a brief mental prayer for Jessamy. To whom, you're not sure anymore. Maybe to any God or being who governs over the souls of ravens. She deserved eternal rest. Her reward for dying doing what she believed to be right.

And before you knew it, you found yourself crying. This time in grief for Jessamy whom you knew was gone.

Grief which lead to the first time in awhile to a dreamless sleep.

It wasn't long before Death finally made a social visit to you. You thought the doorbell was your online order delivering the latest BYS eye cosmetics to your doorstep. You were rushing to get the cash you had prepared for this moment only to see a familiar face amused by your rush towards the door.

"I'm sorry I'm not your latest Shopee Mall order, but if its any compensation; I now understand why Despair was so jealous of your fashion sense in this lifetime."

"Oh come on in Death, there's a reason why the living room exists." You roll your eyes but you also couldn't hide the smile sneaking in your expression.

"Out of curiosity, was that a new acquisition that you've worn out by your almost endless walking in your apartment?" Her eyes were directed at the pair of baby blue crocs clogs on your feet.

"No. My father bought these back in around 2006 or 2007 when he was on a business trip to Singapore. Before leaving my mom drew an outline of my feet and cut it out for him to bring. And regardless of what everyone else thinks I refuse to stop wearing them. They still fit me and they still work. Not everyone may like how they look, but I'm one of the few who genuinely love them."

"As you are with all things you consider priceless valuables." She settles in the couch wherein you finally notice what type of bracelets she was wearing.

"You're copying me!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I let the Lapis Lazuli bracelets go because they were in vogue during the Eastern Roman Empire and I was male back then so I had to live vicariously through you. But those-" you point to the two bracelets on her wrist.

"Are deliberate choices that I first showed off to you." You show off the bracelets you were wearing on your left wrist.

"Hmm and how do you know it's not just mere coincidence?" She raises an eyebrow, daring you to respond.

Oh come on. You weren't born yesterday.

"Because I can't think of why you would choose to wear bracelets that are made of Kunzite and Topaz beads other than me wearing them to show my love for Kunzite and Sailor Venus as a couple." A moment of silence followed before she resigned and leaned back at her seat.

"Okay, okay, you caught me. It's also to show my solidarity with you."

"There's more to it than that isn't there? Not to be judgmental but those two brightly colored bracelets aren't going well together with the rest of your casual goth outfit." Her expression slowly becomes a little more serious. It was still a pleasant one, but you could sense there was some news that may affect you.

"Are you sure you're okay? Revisiting those old memories with your first memorable romance must have brought up some feelings."

"Not you too"

"I'm just checking in. Orkis was one of your first memorable loves. And I can say he has had quite an impact on you till now whether you want to admit it or not."

"Death...doesn't all love, whether it's romantic or otherwise, impact a being one way or the other? You've said it yourself, just because they are gone, doesn't mean I've stopped loving them. Orkis wasn't the only love of mine who was 'the one who got away' but the time we did share was still important. And over time that value has grown." Her expression is that of contemplative understanding.

"Is this why you love the relationship between Kunzite and Venus?"

"Yes, and before you say anything I know I'm predictable." She raised her hands in surrender. As if saying she wasn't trying to say anything, but her eyes say otherwise.

"Both of them were in the same position of being leaders of their respective groups to guard the Prince Endymion of the Earth and Princess Serenity of the Moon. Both of them are serious about their duties. They share an understanding that if things were to go wrong, they would pick the sides of their lieges without any question...this may not all be canon. I know that Naoko Takeuchi wasn't given the time to truly explore their relationship. And the crumbs that we've been shown in Code name: Sailor V are simply prompts to fuel headcanons...but there is something familiar in the way that her story ends before meeting with the rest of the Inner Senshi." You take a sip of water and a deep breath before continuing.

"Throughout Code name: Sailor V Aino Minako had conflicting feelings about being an ordinary girl who dreams of one day being a pop idol and her call towards serving Princess Serenity. And all this time, Phantom Ace had played with her feelings-probably because he too was conflicted-and as luna-whiskers have said on a tumblr post; it was when she began to actually act like Sailor Venus in her past life that he simultaneously fell in love with her and experienced heartbreak." Your back straightens as you meet Death's eyes. Now is not the time for any doubts or ambiguities when it came to your feelings on this matter.

"That is how I feel about Orkis; the values that he had which made me fall in love with him is also what caused me heartbreak...and to become better than I was before. Unlike Phantom Ace I'm not bitter about it. I'm thankful that I had that love no matter how short it was. It's what reminds me that there are more important things than just selfish desire and despair. And while I may not be cursed to always choose duty over love - my own history could tell you otherwise of my selfish acts - sometimes I feel that the freedom of all life to make their own mistakes and achievements...is worth more than the post-coital bliss of a tryst or a romantic moment in a fair midday weather."

"And yet you have also experienced why sometimes people choose to be selfish."

"I never said I was immune to selfishness. My daughter Melike whom you've helped me give birth to was a product of such selfishness."

"My point is that out of all the anthropomorphic beings, you out of all of us have more insight and nuanced about these things. It is the nature of your function; to live life. And you've said it before, it is all about balance."

"I know, the extreme of one has dire consequences. And that's not even considering that life and the entire world is more nuanced than the mortal mind could comprehend...That's why I still fondly love Orkis. I hope he at least gets his rest after what we've had to endure in that lifetime. Had it not been for him, I think I would have been more susceptible to the whims of Desire and Despair."

"How about to the whims of Dream?" She has a knowing look that you do all that you can to resist from showing your annoyance.

"Morpheus is a storyteller. He governs the subconscious. I'd like to believe that if he was free from his imprisonment, his whims would affect my life and the lives of others the way he has always done. I don't think any change would come from that." You take another drink of your water.

And like many friends, that's when she tells you the news.

"He's free now."

You spit out the water that was in your mouth.

"What?"

"Ugh hand me a tissue please."

"That's what you get for your timing."

"I was curious if it would work on you. And I tried to dodge it."

"Serves you right." You place a box of tissue at the center of your table as you both wipe off the remnants of your reaction.

"How?"

"He broke himself free."

"Someone fell asleep in his presence?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself and summon him when you sleep?"

"No" You shake your head fervently.

"After my failure in my last lifetime, I highly doubt he wants to see me again."

"Huh, why? Because you weren't able to rescue him?"

"Jessamy died because of me." It comes out a little more harshly than you intended. But Death at least doesn't take notice and her expression becomes a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"That wasn't your fault. And if you want to be really technical about it, she died because of him and Alex Burgess too."

"She was a dear friend of his and I failed to protect her. Why would he even talk to me in the first place?"

"Okay that's it." She stands up and walks on front of you.

"First off, you were his friend too, much longer before Jessamy even existed; Secondly, Jessamy would've attempted to help him and would've been a lot more reckless with it had she done so alone; and Finally, you, Life, were there. I may not know how he personally feels, but knowing him there is no way he would hold you in contempt."

"And if he does and it turns out he never wants to see me again unless its for professional concerns?"

"Agh-look if you want to know and settle this so you can finally move on, then summon him in your dreams."

"The last time we've talked in my dreams my feelings were hurt."

"That was plenty of lifetimes ago. And trust me, from what I've seen before he made his long overdue meeting with Hob Gadling, he has started to change. And from what I remember he left you alone upon your request the last time you two met in your dreams."

"Still-I don't feel ready for that yet." She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow.

"He's not going to come unless you call him."

"Thank you, Death. But I'm not ready yet. Not now at least." At that moment, you both hear the doorbell ring. Your delivery has finally arrived.

"Look, the important thing is that he is starting to change. He has asked me how I cope and connect with humanity. He has been studying me intently as I do my work. He's starting to make a serious effort with it now." You turn back to her as you go back inside with a package in your hands.

"I need some time to process what I've learnt today." You see her sigh. Clearly this wasn't the result she wanted.

"Food for your thoughts before I leave. Maybe you thought you've found your Kunzite and have resigned to a fate like Sailor Venus. But maybe the answer was to be with someone who doesn't make you choose between your duty and love. Like what you've said to Despair, it's all about balance."

And she left.

So he was out.

Your emotions were mixed and sometimes conflicting. On one hand you were relieved that he finally was free and that you don't have to worry about him anymore. On the other hand, now that he was free and given the last time you were with him was when you died you feel reluctant in even contacting him. On one hand maybe he can give you insight on the recurring memory giving you nightmares. But on the other hand why would he bother helping you when you failed to help him?

These were the thoughts that dwelled in your mind as you took your time reflecting and healing. You've lately had semi-trouble getting to sleep which involved you searching up youtubers with calming voices and that had videos that were at least 20 minutes long to get you to become drowsy. Sleep podcast was really good. Sometimes you would put on one of illuminaughtii's videos since if you were drowsy her voice was really good in drowning out all other noise while not being too distracting. Asmr videos gave you a special kind of tingle that was too distracting for actual deep sleep.

As you drifted to sleep and allowed your subconscious to take over. Sometimes some words would linger that you vaguely remember.

Deep

Sacrifice

Shown

Moved

Change

Given how you tended to have a wild imagination anyways, a part of you wondered if it was just some remnants from your "Drift to sleep" videos that your brain just so happened to latch on to. You didn't think much of it. The human brain eagerly searches for patterns it could find in nature. It's what it was designed to do.

Even though sometimes words were simply what they are. No hidden message from the universe. Some words were more memorable to your brain and these just so happen to be some of them.

It wasn't until much later when after a family dinner and your parents brought you back to your solitary apartment that you've found an unexpected visitor sitting on your couch.

"Morpheus" He makes a move to stand.

"I'm here"

"...Yes you are." You place your handbag on a nearby wall hanger before turning back to him.

"I haven't called you."

"I've decided to come to you. You've said we have some things to discuss once I'm free of my imprisonment. And based on recent events a part of me thinks that you if I had just kept waiting for your call, you might either never use it or you may someday forget to."

"What made you think that?" He moves closer to you. Each step held a confidence that felt familiar and yet new to you.

"Because unlike Calliope, you aren't imprisoned. You could end this lifetime not even talking to me. Which is something that I could no longer bear."

"Then why here? In the waking world where my domain is, why come here? You could have easily just came into my dreams wherein I wouldn't have the power to stop you." He now stands before you. Close enough that you can feel some semblance of his breath, but far enough that you can feel your personal space is still present.

"So that you wouldn't think its just me playing with your mind. Or that its your own mind tricking you into imagining what I want to tell you." You nod. That's all you could do. One of the disadvantages of being in the waking world is that you couldn't just simply wake up and escape from it.

But if you were going to have this conversation you might as well get it over with.

Just like the last time you've talked face-to-face, you sit across each other with a coffee table in between the two of you. But this time no food or beverages were present. It was in the midst of night in the waking world, and somewhere either nearing to or just past midnight.

"I'm sorry" The two of you say at the same time. And from his expression, he was just as startled as you are.

"Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to apologize for."

"It's because of me that Jessamy died. And if you never want to speak to me again-"

"How could you think that? Have you not recalled all of your memories? It's not your fault that she died no matter how painful it is for the both of us."

"But we failed you - I failed you - you trusted me with her and yet she and I died at the same time. And we didn't even manage to set you free." He becomes increasingly astonished. You refuse to delude yourself into thinking that had it been a lighter subject perhaps he would have smiled. A small smile, but nevertheless a smile.

"You didn't fail me or Jessamy. Had you refused to help her she might have been more reckless than she would have been. And she might have been dead sooner than either of us would have liked."

"Still, being imprisoned for an entire century could not have been easy on you." He closed his eyes as if to restrain the painful memories associated with his experiences.

"It was torture."

"Which is why I'm surprised why you aren't angry at me. Maybe I should have just sneaked in and died sleeping within your presence."

"How-How could you undervalue yourself so?" His look shook his head and looked at you incredulously.

"Out of everyone who could have came to my aid, it was only you and Jessamy who did so. You were one of the last ones I would have thought who would, since our last meeting before then was..."

"I know...I was really upset with you."

"Which is why indirectly I've seen how you have truly done your best to not only free me, but to also keep Jessamy safe." You take a breath as you momentarily close your eyes.

"That doesn't change the fact that she would have been alive if I was the only one who -"

"Don't" His tone was semi-commanding. Not enough to be a direct order, but nevertheless there was authority in his voice.

"That was the one plan that I least favored. I never wanted to see you die, even though I knew it was part of your functions and that it was necessary for life to continue. It was painful the first time I saw you die not long after you've lost Orkis, and I knew I didn't want to see you go through with it again. Even if it was for my sake."

"Is that why both you and Death were there?"

"As you began to enter into the dreaming, you were stuck and began to flicker in and out. I decided to go to the waking world to see what might have been the cause. And in your sleep, assassins were killing you, and Death was simply waiting for you." Your eyes widen at this new information.

"I couldn't bear to see you suffer for long, at that point I thought the nightmares I've created were sufficient to frighten even the most stoic of mortals. But to see you being stabbed while gagged and blindfolded was just so painful for me; and so I asked my sister if I could give you a peaceful sleep since you were already in the dreaming." Realization dawns on you.

"And she allowed it."

"She did."

"Is this why she escorted me from the dreaming?"

"Yes, and I knew at that point that I couldn't see you die on front of me. Not again."

A moment of silence hangs in the air.

"Then when the Corinthian killed me..."

"It was worse. Unlike the first time I could feel your pain this time. And..." He momentarily bows his head.

"It was my own creation that killed you."

"Morpheus" Oh no, you knew where this was going. He didn't need to say it.

"You're not responsible for how your creations think. If that were the case then I wouldn't have had any arguments with my own children every now and then." From what you can see, the corner of his lips instinctively moved up.

"Lucienne told me something similar recently. When we were dealing with the Vortex." You feel anxiety rising in your heart.

"There's a vortex?"

"Don't worry, both it and the Corinthian has been dealt with." He tells you in a comforting tone.

"How come I wasn't pulled towards it?"

"You very rarely get involved when there is a vortex. It is mainly the Endless who do get involved most of the time."

"That doesn't mean I don't want to help. Especially since it potentially involves the eradication of all current life in this world and universe."

"It was not your battle to fight. The fates or whomever is responsible for assigning you your circumstances had deliberately placed you in a location that is far away from the conflict." No matter how comforting his tone was it still feels like you were left out of a problem that you may have helped in.

"Where did this happen exactly?"

"Florida, USA"

"Oh...you may be right. We're 12 hours ahead more or less." Briefly you recall something that he had just said.

"You say that the Corinthian has been dealt with? How?"

"He was manipulating the powers of the vortex for his own personal means. He inspired an entire generation of serial killers who sought joy in killing people." Blood drains from your face and a part of you feels that you are getting pale.

"Oh my."

"But I managed to reabsorb him. I hope to improve his creation the next time I find time to work on him." You feel yourself sigh in relief. At least that was dealt with. The air around you both had become so dour that you decide to lighten the mood a little.

"Is it strange that I feel upset that I wasn't allowed to punch him in the balls before then?" You see him make a small smile as his eyes gaze back at yours. But then his expression turns back to remorse.

"I am sorry for hurting you. Especially during our last conversation in your dreams." He stands up and slowly goes to your side.

"You've said that last time that unless I have an answer for you about why I didn't ask you first before going to Hob to learn about humanity...I should leave you alone." You feel your heart breaking and your eyes couldn't help but start to water a little bit.

"Morpheus that was in the past. I don't hate you anymore."

"Life...please allow me to make amends." This was the first time in a long time since he called you that. He normally sticks to calling whatever birth name you were given with the understanding that it's just you in a different form.

"I won't excuse myself for what I have done. You're right, I have no good reason not to talk to you when among all the beings personified, you out of everyone is the most tied with humanity. The rest of us Endless only have glimpses of what it could be like to be a part of humanity. But you actually live with them, know the nuances that I have just learned that I was ignorant of. While they are indeed mortal, they have their own wisdom which I am now trying to learn." He pauses briefly to gather his thoughts.

"And you were right, Hob is only one perspective...Will you help me learn more?"

Ba dum

Ba dum

This was unexpected. Never in eons have you thought he would ask this kind of request from you.

"Morpheus, I must warn you that even I don't know everything there is to life. My past lifetimes...sometimes they are books in a mental library that I have."

"That's more than fine. I want to know more."

"Listen, I don't know what you've experienced so far. But based on what you're doing, you have gained so much insight from your experience. Which is why if you want to know more, you will need to visit the waking world much more often. And if you need some clarification, I could tell you what I think." He nods but you can tell from the rest of his body that it wasn't the arrangement he was hoping for.

"I'm not asking you to neglect your duties in the dreaming, but I think frequent visits to the waking world every now and then would be instrumental to your education. And no, books cannot be a sufficient replacement for experience. They are a great supplement, yes, but they shouldn't be treated as a replacement for actual experience when possible."

"You expect me to just randomly observe humans in the waking world when I have just asked that you guide me?"

"Well unlike the other relatively immortal beings, I have a mortal life to live and law school to study for and graduate from. I'm not always available to your whims." He raises an eyebrow at you. Not in disbelief, but more of a reaction.

"And what if a large part of those visits would be visits to you? When you are free of course." Hmm that could work.

However

"If that's the case then we'll need to make up a story for you and how we came to know each other. Also no offense but your current appearance is going to make you stand out as some Caucasian foreigner here. I may not mind it, but you may want to adapt a form that would blend in well with everyone else. Maybe someone who is mestizo? That's mixed blood by the way. I'm considered a Chinese Mestiza because of my mother's side-"

"Easily solved, but to you I shall appear as I am." You nod and you briefly glance at the window and notice the sky slowly lightening up. Well it's a good thing that it was a national holiday and there was no classes for you to attend to.

"You say that I'm not a failure. How am I not?" This was the first time you've seen him give you a genuine smile.

"Where do I begin? You have kept me company during my confinement. I missed hearing you after your death. I missed listening to you think of ideas on how to help me escape. I missed you getting worried for both me and Jessamy but for some reason you've always placed yourself last. I even missed hearing about your thoughts outside of rescuing me. Such as how the bastardized Indian restaurant near the Inn was only a success because nobody has had genuine Indian cuisine. When you were gone, it was then that I realized how alone I was. It was your presence and your random observations that made being imprisoned much more bearable than I realized. Even when Roderick Burgess died soon after your final moments, somehow I suffered more having felt both you and Jessamy die." The room starts to light up as the sun slowly rises and the yellow hues begin entering from the windows.

"If you are looking for a more tactical answer, then you also provided me with valuable information that was instrumental to my escape and provided me a glimmer of hope for the rest of my imprisonment."

"And what was that?"

"The magical barriers in the minds of the occultist members. You've correctly deduced that this is what is protecting their subconscious from me, thus preventing me from entering the Dreaming even if they were to be asleep in my presence. One of the occultists have accidentally done so but when I even attempted to do so, it blocked me right away. I had to endure for a long time until they had decided to give me guards that didn't have the magical barriers." You feel your eyes widen an your mouth instinctively opens.

"You waited till the remaining occultists have died out and for ordinary people to be the ones guarding you."

"It also helped that Alex Burgess has accidentally broken the ritual circle containing me with his wheel chair. After that, all I had to do was wait for one of my guards to fall asleep. The moment I felt the subconscious act up, I immediately pulled him in and tricked him into breaking the glass." It was only then that you've noticed that he was a lot closer than you expected him to be. In your periphery, you notice that the room is now filled with natural early morning light.

"I did not expect that piece of information to have been so helpful. It seemed such an annoying obstacle when I was trying to make escape plans." He gives you a tender look. One that you almost don't recognize.

And yet he's here giving it to you now.

"Don't you see how you are the reason for my hope? You helped set me free. You managed to keep Jessamy safe for as long as you can. And when you had no reason to, you chose to help me, even if the only help you had was myself and Jessamy … why would I hate you?"

You didn't have an answer. And looking into his eyes, you want to believe that there may be a chance …

… but you have been burnt before. But this time, maybe instead of killing that hope, you can at least temper it with some realistic expectations.

Before you can reply and before he could add more, your phone vibrates.

You can check that later.

But it is time you've gotten some sleep.

"Thank you, for that insight. I didn't realize that's how you saw me."

"Those are facts." You stand up to stretch and allow movement back into your muscles. As much as you don't want to be rude to Morpheus, you couldn't help but be curious to what kind of message you've received.

A grin creeps into your face with a matching squeal.

Emira: Hey mom, it's me Melike. I'm officially a freshman in our Law School! So far the homework's been okay, but I'm hoping we could meet up. I screwed up my first recitations and I don't know my way around yet. When are you free? Also, I really loved your deep blue blazer.

"Something the matter?" You turn towards him not bothering to hide a smile.

"Not really. Melike, one of my children who has a reincarnation in this lifetime is now officially one of my schoolmates. She's the sultan's daughter that I died giving birth to. Her name in this time is Emira and she's just 2 years younger than me this time around."

"You spoke with her through your bond?"

"Yes, ever since she has started learning magic during puberty we've been talking. By any chance are you free later?"

"Are you sure you want me around?" He asks with a concerned look.

"Think of this as your first learning life experience with me. Meeting new people. If she's free for dinner then I'll sleep first then we'll meet up with her." His expression becomes tender and gentle.

"Very well then."

You then proceed to make arrangements to meet her for dinner. It turns out she was staying up all night too doing the last of her binging while she still can and was going to take a rest during the morning.

"Allow me to help you sleep. You've been having problems going to sleep lately."

"Thank you Morpheus, but I'd rather not be dependent on the sand. But I could think of another way you could help?" After taking a moment to change into your sleepwear and settling in your bed, Morpheus turns back towards you after you permit him so.

"Then how may I be of service?"

"Simple." You lie down and start to settle yourself in.

"Tell me a boring story. Or anything really, just make sure I actually lose consciousness."

"Hmm, very well."

You don't know if he told you a story or was just saying random words and phrases, but being the King of Dreams he made sure that you now had a good rest.

Author's Notes: Hey everyone so I hope the ending here makes up for Part 2's traumatic ending. Some notes from me:

1.) Orkis is a name I made up. It's a pun on "Or Kiss" because for a long time I thought the meme "Now Kiss" was actually "Or Kiss". Hildiko is just Ildiko Breckl from Witcher lore with an H to make it not obvious 😅;

2.) Yes I essentially wrote down why I ship Kunzite and Sailor Venus and somehow weaved it into the story. If you do happen to have some time, read Codename: Sailor V it's a prequel to the Sailor Moon manga, and honestly its one of the best spin-off stories from Naoko Takeuchi. Tumblr user luna-whiskers does an excellent analysis on Phantom Ace's role in the development of Sailor Venus, leader of the Sailor Senshi;

3.) I added Orkis as a first love because I don't want to give readers the delusion that "It has always been Morpheus". Much like how Morpheus has had other loves such as Nada and Calliope, Life also has had other very influential loves;

4.) Yes, I essentially placed Life in an idealized form of what I actually look like (see tumblr avatar for reference);

5.) Yes I also placed my biased love for Crocs and BYS cosmetics;

6.) Jared is the name he has when Life was his parent. Like his sister Emira, he goes by a different name currently. But because of the distance and he'll probably more of a cyber presence, its not relevant to know his current name;

7.) The pronunciation for Melike is Meh-lee-keh (According to the Turkish one at least). In Turkish it means Queen and Emira means Princess.

Hope you all enjoyed it :D

#Beautiful Anomaly #dream of the endless #morpheus #the sandman #the sandman netflix #morpheus x y/n #Morpheus x reader #morpheus x fem!reader #morpheus x you #dream x y/n #dream x you #Dream x reader #dream x fem!reader

[its-short-for-jackalope]

the second prompt for Slowtember is wind, so I decided it was the perfect excuse to draw Zadock doing some magic and having their clothes flapping in a magical breeze and just looking epic... and maybe a little creepy. they have a talent for unsettling smiles.

I did not think I'd be able to get this one done in time since it got pretty detailed & complicated, but I finished this at 2 am, so I'm hardly late at all, lol! I am REALLY, REALLY proud of this one & absolutely in love with how it turned out!!! (I also had sooooo much fun doing the different little knickknacks in the background, so I forsee more drawings of Objects in my future, lol)

more chatter & my first public reveal of some necromancer lore below the cut! <3

okay so before I get to the Lore™ I have to finish gushing, haha.

at this point, I have filled several pages in my sketchbook with drawings and diagrams and notes about the magic in my story, including many sketches of souls & threads/tethers, but this was the Very First Time I got around to experimenting with drawing them digitally!!!

I was so excited, and I'm so beyond thrilled with the results. Like, guys, this is the closest I've ever been to showing just how I imagine it in my brain. 🤯

this is also like. the coolest thing I've ever drawn in my fucking life—and I have drawn some cool stuff lately!!!—so if nobody looks at this then you are all missing out, lmao. <3

alrighty, now that I am done experiencing a rare surge of self esteem, let's get to the Lore™

I have an entire section of a binder dedicated to how the magic in my story works, so this post will NOT be a super detailed guide whatsoever! I'd need SEVERAL posts for that, lmao. I just wanted to try and run through a bit of background stuff to provide some context for this artwork.

You will notice that I have included two versions of this drawing—one with the crazy glowy lights, and one without. This was not (just) to show off Duck's shirt and their badass top surgery scar that was unfortunately covered right up by their dang soul (😂😭💀), but for lore reasons!

There is only one kind of magic in this story, and it can only be gained as blessings from the god-like entity humans named Death; if the god agrees to give you power, It takes a tiny, tiny portion of Itself, Its essence, and puts that right into your soul. (It hurts, btw. In case you were wondering.)

The first blessing makes you Sensitive, allows you to perceive and sense other souls and to properly bear witness to magic. You aren't able to do any other magic besides seeing/sensing unless you receive more essence. Going back for additional blessing(s) is what makes you a necromancer (if you claim that title) and lets you do some real magic. But we'll get into that some other time.

For now, I will leave you with this handy little comparison thingie I threw together on my phone at 3 am instead of sleeping. <3

the regular folks are really missing out! poor bastards.

#i cant believe im actually Talking about my story/lore where people can read it 😳 #ive only told friends & family about this stuff #they will continue to get the juicy details (they have no choice) but i am once again reminding you that #if you have any questions about my ocs or the story or the worldbuilding i will happily talk about them #(prolly not EVERYTHING bc i gotta keep some secrets & spoilers to myself. but there's a lot i can share!!!) #and i would honestly be so so so happy to blab about this all day forever <3 #jack jabbers #my art #slowtember #slowtember23 #slowtember2023 #zadock severine #oc #original character #my ocs #necromancer story #necromancer & musician story #necromancer lore #necromancy #magic #worldbuilding #story lore #writing #magic system #souls #artists on tumblr #digital art #clip studio paint #csp #art

[skyguy-skywalker]

More Than Life

whew I have not written in a long time so I apologize if this is a little disjointed and slightly out of character for Tech. This is also my first time writing him like ever so pls forgive me 🙏🏼 I also deadass just came up with my own Jedi OC on the fly for this 😂 Fic is set before Order 66.

Anyway, I have major Tech brainrot right now and thought writing about it would possibly help me get it out of my system (update it definitely didn’t) and let me be so fr rn if I were a Jedi and I fell in love with Tech I’d leave the Order so fuckin fast lmfao

No real tag warnings, just angst and fluff, mentions of injuries.

Anyway, enjoy loves~!

(Divider by the lovely @stars-n-spice <3)

“Tech, I—we can’t continue to carry on like this. I’m..a Jedi and attachment is forbidden…” Jayla forced the words from her mouth while looking everywhere but into Tech’s eyes. It was too painful to look at him. Her words were in direct violation of what her heart was screaming for her to say.

Over the course of several assigned missions with Clone Force 99 Jayla had become completely and utterly enamored with Tech, and he with her. They had been in numerous life threatening situations, survived so many battles with Separatist forces, and had countless private moments shared between them that the Jedi would most certainly not approve of.

Tech adjusted his goggles and sighed heavily.

“Yes, a fact of which I am painfully aware, ner cyar’ika.”

The Mando’a term of endearment made the lump that was forming in Jayla’s throat only grow. This was a seemingly impossible situation and one that made Jayla want to curse the Force for ever making her path cross with Tech’s.

Noticing the tears that were threatening her eyes, Tech raised a hand to Jayla’s cheek in an effort to make her look at him. He knew that all that had blossomed between Jayla and himself was in direct violation of the Jedi code but as time had passed and all that they had been through together made the code seem like something inconsequential. War was war and with war came danger, death, and the ability to see clearly what was worth holding onto and letting go. Despite his exceptional mind and against his own logic and reasoning, the Jedi that stood before him had nestled her way into his heart almost going completely undetected at first.

A particularly harrowing mission on some desolate planet comprised of mostly barren mountains and valleys had made Tech realize the feelings in which he harbored for Jayla. She had been injured by falling rock caused by Separatist blaster fire and before he could push her out of the way he had been shot in the shoulder plate, causing him to falter. Jayla’s brush with death on that mission brought all of his feelings to the surface while he held her head in his lap, trying his best to keep her still to avoid further injury to her head and other crush injuries.

Many missions later and the Jedi mantra of not having any attachments had considerably faded from the forefront of Jayla’s mind and in its place Tech had filled that space. They had basically been carrying on in secret, stolen glances became stolen kisses. Tender expressions of affection became tender touches. Nights had not remained just for sleeping or keeping watch, but instead became time for long conversations while Tech tinkered or worked on the ship while Jayla sipped tea in the copilot seat. Long conversations between them turned into secret rendezvouses when they both could sneak away from sleep and the rest of Clone Force 99. But a recent visit by Jayla’s former Master shoved the mantra back into Jayla’s mind. Her Master was not one that was easily fooled and quickly picked up on the secret that Jayla tried desperately to conceal. Pulling her aside, her Master had reminded her sternly of the importance of remaining free of attachments and what it would imply if she were to continue on with the second oldest member of Clone Force 99.

Her former Master had departed just hours ago and the reluctant attempt she was making to free herself of her feelings was only driving the wedge further between herself and the life she had only ever known since early childhood with the Jedi.

Tech’s eyes met Jayla’s as she finally brought hers to his helmeted face. With his other hand, Tech removed his helmet and set it gently down on the steps of the Marauder. He brought his other hand to the other side of Jayla’s now tear streaked face. He felt his own heart begin to sink but pushed himself aside to try and ease Jayla’s pain.

“I will not stand between you and the Order. I am fully aware that we cannot keep our secret forever and that with the eventual end of this war would only mean having to face this decision later on as opposed to now.” Tech tried his best to keep his voice steady.

“But that’s just it, Tech. I don’t..I don’t I think I want to stay in the Order. I know intellectually that I should break off our attachment and go back to Coruscant, back to the Temple…but I don’t think I’m capable of just walking away and letting you go. I care for you too much just to leave and never see you again.” Jayla’s words came tumbling out disjointed and choked by the sobs bubbling up inside her.

“I’ll forever wonder what this—we—could have been without all of the secrecy or threat of discovery. I know your brothers know about us and would never betray us but it was only a matter of time before one of the other Jedi noticed our connection. And of course it had to be my Master that figured us out.” Jayla reached up and placed her hands over Tech’s that were still held intently on either side of her face.

Tech dipped his head ever so slightly to one side as he caught Jayla’s teary eyes again in his own.

“If leaving the Order is what you want then I support you wholeheartedly. However, if you are uncertain as to whether or not this, us, is what you truly desire then I think we should take some time apart so that you may see things more clearly. After all, the Jedi are your family and have been your entire life. You and I have only known each other for a much significantly shorter period of time. I will understand if you choose the Jedi over me.” He had barely finished his sentence before Jayla dropped her hands and closed the small distance between them. She practically crashed into him and held him tightly with both her arms around his middle. His words were too much for her to bear or consider in that moment.

Sobs coming in full force wracked her entire form and Tech had to take a step back so as not to fall over from the force of Jayla’s body hitting his own. His arms found their place around her waist and shoulders, holding her close to himself without smushing her into his armor.

“T-Tech, no, I don’t want to take time apart. That’s just it, I don’t want to be apart at all! I’ll leave the Order, I’ll throw my lightsaber off of a cliff! I want to be with you so much more than I want to remain a Jedi.” Jayla wept into Tech’s shoulder plate, still charred from where he had been shot months ago. Hearing him say that she could return to the Temple, leaving him and he’d understand broke her heart into a million fragments. How could she be content with leaving him in her past? Leaving him to become a memory of lost love, a love that Jayla never dared dream or even think of before being assigned to his squad. The thought of leaving each other in their own respective pasts made the decision clear for her.

“I’ll leave the Order, Tech.” Jayla said firmly through her tears. Lifting her head from his shoulder so that she looked up at him.

Tech’s brows knitted together, searching for the certainty in her face that she was resolved in her declaration. “Are you certain, ner cyar’ika?”

Jayla wiped the tears from her blotched face with the sleeve of her tunic and then returned it to holding Tech’s side.

“Yes. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.” A small smile graced her features, though her eyes were still wet with tears.

“I love you, Tech. I am so deeply in love with you. I could never leave you behind to become just a figure in my past.” Jayla said softly while her eyes drifted over Tech’s face, waiting for his reaction to her words.

Tech studied her face for a moment longer, warmth lifting his heart at her admission of her love and decision to remain with him.

“Well, then, if you are truly certain then do I have your permission to kiss you here and now, out in the open?”

Jayla’s expression broke into a full on smile as she reached up to place her hands on either side of his face.

“Yes, Tech.” She said while pulling herself up onto her tiptoes to meet Tech’s height.

He closed the remaining space between them and pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss.

Jayla slowly pulled away from his lips and resting her forehead against his she whispered in the space between them, “I love you, Tech. I love you more than life.”

Tech closed his eyes and a small smile played across his lips.

“And I love you, ner cyar’ika.” Tech lifted his head for a moment, “But I would ask that you refrain from discarding your lightsaber over a cliff, as I have seen you with a blaster and your aim leaves much to be desired.”

This drew out a laugh from Jayla and she playfully pushed off from him.

“Fine. You’ll just have to teach me then.” She smiled up at Tech.

He pulled her back in against himself and smiled.

“I will be looking forward to it.” Tech said low against her ear then drew her up into another kiss.

#the bad batch #tech x oc #tbb tech #I just really miss him guys #rioting if he’s actually dead #star wars

[theragamuffininitiative]

2, 6, 10, 20 and 22 for unfinished fic asks!

hiiiii!

2. How did you get the idea to write this? [Based on the other questions, I'm gonna talk about my urban fantasy novel here] As best as I can remember, the inspiration for Cloy came from 1) the part in Bandstand where Julia says "I don't need saving!" and Donny says "yeah, well maybe I do" and 2) Needtobreathe's song "Banks" and 3) the ending of Jessica Day George's Dragon Slippers, and 4) a couple random pinterest pins including an animated gif of a human!Starscream from Transformers I guess?? and something from the first season of Nikita??, and lots of stuff I had no pre-existing context for and hodgepodged together. 😂

6. Is there any specific ship you're planning to include? Ok, I don't ship much and I definitely don't write romance for the sake of it, but this story has a very important romance between the two protagonists, River and Captain. [sudden giggling over how their names basically suggest a ship anyways] Anyways, I ship them so hard, and they're so good for each other, and I put them through so much. 😭 The dynamic can definitely be found in the NTB song from the first question.

10. If unpublished, can you show a sneak peek of what you've written?

"Why am I here?” Tyler frowned. “You don’t remember.” “No, I don’t, that’s why I’m asking –” “No, that’s what I meant. You’re here because you don’t remember. You were attacked. You lost some of your memory. You were awake when Professor Lewis brought you here… you don’t remember that either?” Tyler looked as though he were concentrating on Captain’s answer, as if it were suddenly not a casual check-up, but a report he had to give. Captain frowned, thinking hard. “I think…" Something itched at the back of his mind. “Mathen brought me here after… after the hospital?” Tyler grinned, relaxing a little. “Yeah, the hospital.” “But why was I…” Captain looked down at his arms and suddenly noticed the skin was scraped and raw. A wide bandage had been wrapped around his left forearm and horrifying purple bruises completely encircled both of his wrists. He sat down hard on the bed. “What…” Fear stabbed at his gut, twisting his insides. He thought he was going to throw up. “Where did…” He looked back up at Tyler, who was staring at the marks as well, but shook himself and met Captain’s gaze. “I don’t understand.” Tyler's brow furrowed with concern. “I’m going to call Professor Mathen and tell him you’re awake. Can I leave you here, you’re alright for a minute?” He seemed afraid Captain might do something unpredictable and insane if he left him alone. Captain shook his head slowly. “Please, go call him. Is there anyone else here?” “No, sir. Just us. I’ll be right back.” And, with that, Tyler turned and sprinted off, his hand already going to his pocket to dig out a cell phone before he was even out of view of the door, which he left cracked open. The electric light of the hall was comforting and Captain appreciated Tyler’s thoughtfulness, or perhaps absentmindedness, for leaving the door open. He looked down at his hands again, trying to comprehend what had happened and why he couldn’t remember. Panic escaped his lungs in a sharp exhale, immediately forcing him to breathe in again - a sort of desperate gasp to fill his body with oxygen again. The gasp, the intake of fresh sweet air, brought a stab of recollection to him and if he hadn’t already been sitting down he would have staggered under its blow. It wasn’t a memory exactly, but like the feeling of realizing after a long night of troubled sleep, that all the trouble had been because of a dream. There was no memory of the dream itself, just the idea of having had the dream in the first place, and whatever he had been feeling in the dream. But whatever this was, it had not been a dream. Dreams didn't leave bruises around his wrists. You were attacked, Tyler said. Again, he thought he was going to throw up. The echo of memory passed as soon as it had come and he sat on the edge of the bed in the silent room trying to catch hold of the last thing he did remember. What had happened to him?

20. Give a vague description of something that will happen without revealing too much. [I wanna say something funny and cleverly vague here but have no braincells, just gonna share the little logline/teaser/synopsis I have.] "The worlds of fae and humankind are collapsing in on themselves, as a half-fae daughter of war and the scientist assigned to test her magic must choose to save their own in the division, or lose everything together."

22. Will this fic include more angst or more fluff? Probably more angst. Bit of world-ending stuff going on. But not devoid of fluff. 😊

#thanks for the ask! #unfinished wips ask #aster friend #wip: cloy #ft. an unoriginal amnesiac scene bc that is what i scrolled to in the document lol

[jasntodds]

Caving In [2]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 7,611 

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, descriptions of bruises (no colors, just shape and tint), mentions of sleep deprivation and some paranoia, mentions of death, mentions of the joker being the joker, there’s a teen wolf reference, a mention of being held captive and tortured, fluff, a mention of food being withheld

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: Hey, look chapter two up on time!! Things pick up in chapter 3, I promise!! I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 The first few chapters take place between season 2 episode 1 and season 2 episode 2. You can add yourself the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​ ​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

The next morning comes around and you’re taking the time you have alone to shower. It’s barely four in the morning so no one else is awake and you’re pretty grateful for that right now. Before going to bed the night before, Rachel stopped back by your room and offered you some clothes she thought would fit okay for the following day. So, you’re the only one awake and figured it'd be really nice to have a proper shower for once. But the shower isn't the relaxing thing you expected.

This is the first time you’ve seen yourself in a mirror since being put into a basement for several months. It's the first time you’ve seen yourself at all but this is also the first time you’re getting a look at how the tower is seeing you. Your right eye has a deep bruise. It looks a little swollen still even though you feel like you can see fine out of it. The cut on your lip is still open and the cut on your cheek is red. Bruises in the shapes of fingers are dark on your biceps, right over the scar on your right bicep. Another bruise in the shape of a shoe is on your back. The more you look the more bruises you find and you wince, finally understanding all of the sympathetic looks you’ve gotten. Not that they know about the bruises across your back and stomach but they saw your arms.

You thought it was so weird Dick wanted to help but seeing yourself in the mirror, you completely understand because if you saw yourself on the street right now, you'd be livid and force that person to come with you. Your head hangs and it's kind of like you understand and a feeling of maybe wanting to tell them what happened comes over you.

If you tell them, maybe the looks will stop because you’re healing and they'll know. It's just kind of an elephant in the room as much you want to avoid it in your head, it's there. And every single time they look at you, they're just going to want the full story. The looks won't stop until they know. And all you can do is sigh because it’s four in the morning and sleeping for an hour has you feeling a lot more feelings that you ever really liked. So, you swallow the lump your throat and go for the shower.

After the shower, you find yourself in the kitchen looking for food. You find some cereal, Cheerios, and otp for that. At this point, you’re not going to complain about whatever cereal you have. Once you have your bowl, you move into the living room and turn the TV on, sitting on the floor at the small coffee table like you used to do when you were a kid. You find Avatar: The Last Airbender on one of the many streaming services connected to the TV and call yourself content.

You eat in peace watching a childhood favorite of yours and it feels easy. You feel at ease here and it feels like it could almost feel like home if you put in a real effort to give it a chance. If you could find a way in yourself to really trust these strangers. It'll be hard but maybe it'll be worth it, early mornings alone in front of TV with some cereal.

By the time six rolls around, the lack of sleep and paranoia has started to catch up to you. This place feels safe but it also feels too good to be true. There’s a little humming in the back of your head, telling you not to trust anyone because anyone can say they’re one thing and be the opposite. You used to be so trusting of people, not naïve or anything like that, but trusting of people in general but now, it’s hard to imagine people just being nice to be nice. What if you fall asleep, really get some sleep, and they turn on you? What if they’re working with him? And he comes to take you back? Maybe you’ll get lucky and everyone will leave the tower so you can get some real peaceful sleep. You’ve gone longer without sleep, you’ll be fine. You’re always fine.

"Good morning." Dick's voice scares you while you’re stood sink washing your bowl.

"Fuck," You groan, turning to look at him. "Do you always sneak up on people?"

Dick chuckles softly. "Sorry, it's a habit, I guess." Dick didn’t think he had been all that quiet.

You roll your eyes before going back to cleaning your dish you used for cereal. You haven't had cereal since you were put into foster care. It wasn't the best cereal or anything, you’re a Trix person but it was a lot better than the chicken noodle soup you’re used to. It felt almost nostalgic and you got to just sit in the living area, watching old cartoons you used to love as a kid, in peace. Until now, with Dick awake anyway.

"Right." You say softly.

Dick watches you from the back as he stands at the kitchen island, taking notice in the coffee cup sitting on the counter behind you and the empty coffee pot off to the side. You seem jumpy, though that might just be you. This is a new place to you and after whatever you’ve been through, it's fair to be a little jumpy but it makes him wonder.

"Did you sleep last night?" He asks, walking over to the coffee pot to make himself a pot.

"'Course." You lie, not looking up from the dish that is definitely clean by now but it's something to do with your hands.

Dick uses the sink to fill up the pot, you glancing at him for just a second. "Hmm." He hums. "More than an hour?"

You pause and let out a sigh. How long has he been doing this? You weren't saying he's good at it but how does he just know shit?

"No." Your voice is filled of shame. "I-i-it's weird, being here."

"It's okay." Dick reassures you as he gets his coffee going. "I didn't sleep much when Bruce brought me home, either."

You start drying your bowl, turning to face him. "What's he like? I mean....was he nice to you? You're here so..."

Dick nods and then shrugs. "He tried his best."

"That's a cop-out for saying he sucked." You raise your brows, resting the bowl to the side before grabbing the spoon and drying it. No one with good parental figures just says they tried their best. But, since Dick is here taking in strays that need help, maybe the Bruce guy didn’t do a terrible job. Even if this whole thing is weird.

Dick chuckles. "It wasn't all bad." Dick leans against the counter, facing you as he waits for his coffee.

"Must be nice." You mutter, a sense of envy comes over you. But it just slipped out. Being jealous doesn’t make a situation better. "Sorry."  You apologize.

"It's okay." Dick assures you. Dick knows he got lucky with Bruce even if Bruce wasn’t the best. Dick still got lucky. "Where ya from?" He asks, trying to change the subject a little bit but still find something out about you.

"Gotham." You roll your eyes. "Fit right in now with all the freaks Gotham breeds, huh?"

"You're not a freak." Dick says calmly.

"Mhm, sPeCiAl." You mock and then Dick catches the hit of a smirk on your face.

"You're a smartass, you know, that?"

You give him a cornered grin. "It's the only thing not damaged about me so far. Gotta hold onto it." You snicker to yourself. "What about you? San Fran?"

Dick shakes his head. "Gotham." Dick goes to grab his coffee that's finished brewing.

"Shut the fuck up." You scoff. Apparently, if people get to escape the hellscape of Gotham, they end up in San Francisco? Literally, across the country which, if you’re being honest, completely makes sense.

"Honest, so is Jason." Dick says, pouring his coffee into a mug.

"Gar?" You raise, wondering if everyone is just fleeing Gotham.

"Ohio."

"Rachel?"

"Michigan."

You hoped finding out where everyone was from would make more sense. Maybe Dick found a bunch of kids who needed to get the hell of out Gotham and brought them across the country? Something? But, finding out it’s just Jason, you’re back to this being weird.

“How did you end up with Gar and Rachel then?” You ask.

“I was detective in Detroit.” Dick explains. “That’s how Rachel found me and then we ended up in Ohio where she met Gar.”

“That somehow clears very little up but okay.” You nod your head. Why did he take Rachel to Ohio? And who the fuck leaves Gotham to go to Detroit? And how the hell did they end up here? Nothing makes sense but you’re just gonna let it go for now. "So, did you and Jason know each other then? Both from Gotham and ended up here, seems like under better circumstances than us."

Dick shakes his head, taking a sip from his mug. "No, we just...know the same guy."

You narrow your eyes at him, grabbing your own mug and taking a sip. Bruce. It sounds stupid to you because you’re just fishing for information now. But, Dick knows a Bruce from Gotham. Bruce Wayne lives in Gotham. Bruce Wayne adopted a Dick Grayson who, if rumor is right, became a detective. Jason can fight, assuming Dick can, too that's a bit weird. Gotham doesn't breed heroes usually.

"So....what? You both raised for Bruce Wayne or something?"

"What makes you think that?" Dick chuckles, wondering why you'd come to that conclusion.

"Your name is Dick and Bruce took in a kid named Dick Grayson like twenty years ago. Rumor was he left to become a detective or something." You state, taking another drink of your coffee. "Kind of public information."

"Yeah," Dick chuckles. "Yeah, Bruce Wayne took me in."

"Interesting." You hum, looking at your dark coffee.

You feel like you’re having a fever dream. You cannot possibly be talking to a fucking Robin. That doesn't make any sense and at this point, you’re completely convinced the sleep deprivation has kicked in. But you’ve done your share of research into Batman and Robin. It's always been this mystery. Who's behind the masks? You don't like mysteries and you could never figure out the motive behind them. Why start saving people if not to kill the real problems of Gotham? It's not like they were taking down petty thieves or something, they were dealing with real grade-A psychos. But, maybe Bruce Wayne makes sense. He has the money to pull it off.

"So...your thing is combat?" You question, silently fact-checking yourself.

"It is." Dick nods once.

"You're older than me...." You trail off and Dick watches you, waiting to see where exactly you’re going with this. He doesn't mind you figuring it out, but he does think it's interesting that you’re openly figuring it out in front of him. Maybe it'll help you trust him a little more.

There are tons of videos and pictures of Batman and Robin fighting the bad guys. One of your past times was watching the Robin-centric ones, something about him being a sidekick seemed odd. He always seemed to hold himself just fine and Batman didn't seem like he needed some sidekick. It was weird but you watched because you were curious who they were and how they could fight. But now you’re here with Dick Grayson who was raised by Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson is taking in kids with superpowers. And you always thought a new Robin came in at the end. Fighting style was different and there was a big height difference.

"Are you Robin and is Bruce Wayne Batman?" You ask, your voice is a little loud as if to not believe you’re asking that question.

Dick laughs. "You got me." Dick smiles at you. "I'm not Robin anymore, though."

"Jason, right? He took over?" You verify and if this were two years ago, you’d be freaking out. As much as you do not get the whole thing, it was still really cool to be in the same city as Robin and Batman. They’re actual heroes. But, this is now.

"He did." Dick nods, almost impressed you figured it out after less than a day of being at the tower. “How’d you figure it out? Was it that obvious?” He asks.

“No,” You let out a mix of a huff and a laugh. “It was more of a shot in the dark. You shoot enough times, you’re bound to hit something.”

“Alright.” Dick laughs softly. “Fair enough.”

"Cool." You say, pushing off of the counter you were leaning against, choosing to leave with this new information.

"That it?" Dick asks, amused by your reaction.

You pause with a shrug. "Yep." Your word is short and sharp as you go to walk away before stopping. Actually, it bothers you. At the end of the day, Dick Grayson, the original Robin is standing in front of you and it bothers you. It’s cool, of course because he was Robin but above everything, it doesn’t sit right. "Actually, I got a fucking question." You turn to face him.

"Okay." Dick gives you a questionable expression, not sure where the change of tone came from.

"Why didn't you guys just kill the fucking Joker?"

Dick looks down, almost as if he's ashamed of the answer. "We're heroes, we don't kill people."

"Right, okay," You suck in a breath, feeling the fire in your stomach boil and your hands growing warm. "So, as heroes, your response is to just keep letting that fucked up, psycho clown roam around Gotham and keep killing innocent people like some sort of sick Saw movie?" You snap, your voice raising with every word.

In some sick and vengeful way, after your mom was killed, you got it. In a way, you understood how people become villains. Not villains to the actual villains, but villains to the heroes because it is their job to protect those who cannot protect themselves. It is their job and allowing people like The Joker to just keep escaping and killing more and more and more people, that’s not heroism. It’s cowardly.

"It's not like that." Dick sighs, realizing this has backfired greatly. "We can't go around being the judge, jury, and executioner. It's a dangerous road you don't want to go down. Trust me."

"Right, except he didn't kill your parents, right?" You ask, feeling the water brim behind her eyes and then the feeling of hot coffee stings your hands, the mug melting with your grip. The rest of the mug slips from your hands, shattering on the floor.

"Hey," Dick puts his mug down quickly, rushing over to you.

"It's fine." You look at your hands, the glowing of green starts to fade. You walk over to the garbage, tossing the remainder of the mug into the trash. "I'll clean it up, sorry." You barely look at Dick as you grab paper towels, wetting them and ignoring the shaking of your hands.

You always thought you had a lot of control over it or that you would at least notice if you were using your powers but you didn’t. It’s shameful and embarrassing. It was an accident and accidents happen but the very idea of not being able to control your powers just because you’re mad is terrifying. What if you get mad at someone and use your powers and hurt them? 

"It's okay." Dick takes them from you. "I got it. Are you okay?" There are no hints of anger across his face or in his voice. He just looks worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You shake your head, no burn or blood in sight, your hands no longer glowing. "It doesn't hurt."

"What happened?" Gar asks, strolling into the kitchen, seeing you and Dick look like you were in the middle of something serious, although you were kind of hard to ignore. It got a little loud at the end of your argument. That’s why Gar is walking in.

"Dropped a mug." You keep your stare on Dick, lying to Gar. You brush past Dick and then past Gar. You just wanna run away from it all. Sometimes, things are too much and you wanna run as fast as your legs will let you go.

"Y/n." Dick calls.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, okay?" You stop just long enough to look back at Dick. "Just let me know when we're leaving." You mutter before walking back down the hallway and to your room.

Gar watches you and then looks back to Dick. He doesn't have any idea what he walked into and now he just feels awkward but he feels bad for you. You seemed really upset and you sounded upset when you were yelling at Dick. He heard you asking Dick if the Joker killed his parents. Of course, Gar knows what happened from last night but hearing that kind of reaction doesn't sit quite right. They're all just a bunch of kids. Kids who don't deserve to be in pain.

"You okay, Dick?" Gar asks walking over to him as Dick cleans up the spilled coffee.

"Yeah, it's okay, Gar." Dick assures him.

Gar nods. "What happened?"

"It was accident." Dick says.

"I mean...I heard you guys. I wouldn't be surprised if you woke up Rachel and Jason, too."

"Shit." Dick sighs, standing back up. "It'll be alright, she's just going through a lot. Just give her some time." Dick gives Gar a soft smile before throwing the paper towels away and grabbing a few more.

Gar nods, looking to the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. Gar knows what it's like to be alone in grief. It's hard and scary. Even having someone to just sit with him would have been easier but he was just thrown into a manor with a bunch of older people who didn't get him. He was only even there because he could suddenly turn into a tiger. Maybe he should leave it alone but he can't. He just wants you to know it's going to be okay.

Gar grabs himself a bowl of cereal and makes a plant-based drink for the morning. He waits in the kitchen, slowly eating as Dick eats his own breakfast. Dick told him to leave you alone and he's not going to do that but he doesn't want Dick to know. He doesn't really like going against what an authority figure says, even though he does it anyway. It's more the getting caught that he doesn't like. But what else is he supposed to do?

After Dick leaves, Gar waits a few more minutes then hops off his chair and heads down the hallway. Dick went the opposite way so Gar walks with ease down the hall and to your room. The door is shut and he can hear the TV playing softly. He picks up his fist and knocks softly. He waits, shifting his weight from his toes to his heels, almost expecting you to either tell him to go away or open the door and slam it. But you don't.

"Hey." Gar gives you a kind smile as you open the door.

"H-hey?" You ask.

Gar sucks in a breath. "Are you okay?" He asks.

You deadpan. "I would be a hell of a lot better if I wasn't asked that again today." You snark, watching the disappointment in Gar's face. "I'm sorry. I--I-do you wanna come in?" You ask, opening the door fully and Gar nods, leaving the door open as he follows you to the couch you and Rachel sat on the night before. "I've got some issues with Robin and Batman." You admit as you sit down.

Gar looks a little too concerned for your liking so you talk. If you talk, maybe he won't be so concerned and a part of you wants to know if it's a you thing. Everyone always seem to love them both, Robin and Batman, and they can do no wrong, they even helped the GCPD. You have thought for a while that maybe your disdain isn't justified and maybe it's not. Maybe killing people, even people like the Joker is wrong but what else is there to do? Because Batman and Robin didn't do anything to fix Arkham. If they don't fix Arkham, what else is there to stop these people like the Joker who get out and they kill every single time without fail? It's like it's a sick little game. He's Jigsaw and Batman is the cop trying to find him, everyone else is stuck playing the Saw games.

Gar nods. "Because the Joker killed your parents?" Gar asks, pretending like he doesn't know anything. "I overheard."

You nod. "My mom. I-uh, I was...I was at the movies with a friend. I got the notification that Joker was out again...killing people....same place my mom was that night." Your chin wrinkles as you swallow the lump in your throat.

That moment, you knew. You called your mom a hundred times but there's a pit that forms in your stomach when you just know someone didn't make it. Someone you care for. It's not anxiety or being pessimistic, there is a pit that grows and you just know. You knew but you called and called and called. The phone rang and rang until it died. Gotham PD showed up on your friend's house the next day and told you. They wanted to take you and do the whole foster care situation right away but your friend's mom convinced them to give you a day with them first. You fled that night. The night your mom died was the last night you ever felt safe. It was the night you felt something that wasn't sad or angry. It was the last night you weren't haunted.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n." Gar's brows wrinkle, the knot in his stomach growing.

You nod, looking away from him as you try to breathe. "Had they just fucking killed him," Your voice breaks as you look back at Gar and you hate it because this is a weakness. You can't seem vulnerable, not around these people because the second you show your vulnerability, it's so much easy to be used and manipulated. But you can't help it. "She would be alive but they just....called Arkham good enough." You pause. "It's not fair." It’s a choked whine that leaves your throat.

You gasp as tears start to flow down your cheeks, the tears burning a few of the cuts on your cheek. Gar moves closer to you and he's hesitant at first because he doesn't know how you'll react but the only thing he knows how to maybe help is to hug you. So, he pulls you into him and wraps his arms around you tightly. You stiffen for a second and it stops you from crying. You haven't been hugged since the night your mom died. It's a weird feeling to have someone hug you but you'd be lying if it didn't feel comforting. And he's very warm and he smells like strawberries and that seems to be the most comforting.

Your favorite fruit is strawberries and every summer, you and your mom would make chocolate-covered strawberries. There isn't a time you can remember when you weren't completely stocked during the summer and it's something you cherish now.  Gar smells like strawberries and that small little thing, is the most comforting thing in the world to you right now. So, you just cave into him, sobbing.

The thing about being held captive and tortured is that it's made you hard. Being captured and tortured changed a part of you. You were never so closed off and calloused, always a bit sarcastic and snarky but not like this. Being held stripped you away of the rawness of emotion. It's like it turned you into this fossilized version of yourself. Hard and cold exterior that would just turn to dust if opened up. You’re only a memory of the person you used to be, sitting here and crying to Gar is just the visual representation of who you were before the big bang. And it hurts, it is agonizing but something about the way he's just letting you cry into him feels cathartic. You’re not in that basement anymore. Your wrists are free. You are free. And you can show all of your emotions without fear of repercussions from it. You’re allowed to be scared and angry and sad and happy. You don't have to hide anymore.

"S-sorry." You pull away, wiping your eye and wincing at the pain from the bruising of your right eye.

"It's okay." Gar assures you, still having his arms around you loosely. "I, uh, I get it." He looks away for a second, pulling his arms back as if realizing he doesn't need to hug you anymore. "My parents died, too."

You watch the normally cheery boy, square his jar and go distant with his stare. "I'm sorry." You sniffle. "What happened?"

Gar sucks in a breath, sitting back against the back of the couch. "Same mysterious disease I had but they didn't make it."

You nod, matching his position and tugging the sleeves over your hands. That explains part of how he ended here. He really doesn’t have anyone, just like you. "I'm really sorry. That sucks."

Gar nods. "Yeah, but, uh, it's okay because I'm here and this is a family. It's not the same but," Gar tilts his head back and forth a few times, looking for the words. "It's really nice if you give it a chance. Dick isn't out to get you or any of us." 

"I didn't mean what I said." You say honestly. "I mean, I want the Joker dead, he's a fucking piece of shit sad excuse of a human but...I mean just about Dick. He's been nice."

Gar offers you a side smile. "Yeah, he's a cool dude." Gar chuckles softly. “He kind of takes getting used to, too.” Gar jokes a little. Dick sometimes comes off as cold but Gar has kind of figured that’s just what being raised by Bruce gets you. Jason is like that, too and Gar doesn't think it’s a coincidence. 

"Thank you." You give him a sad and small smile. "You're like...a really nice person."

Gar huffs with a chuckle, looking away from you and all he can think is that someone has to be nice around here. Dick is sometimes...well a dick. Jason is an asshole. Rachel sometimes can be a little bit of a bitch to Dick and Jason, usually deserved but a bitch nonetheless. He has to be the nice one even if he wanted to get nasty. That would just cause more tension and Gar doesn't like tension.

"Thanks." Gar sighs, looking around your room. "Are you gonna decorate today?" He asks looking back to you, changing the subject and hoping to make you feel better.

You shrug a shoulder. "I dunno. Not sure if Dick really wants to take me shopping after that." You laugh softly. "I don't know how I feel about it, anyway. Feels....really fucking weird."

"Yeah," Gar nods in agreement. "But he just wants you to have a space of your own, that's what he told Rachel and me when he took us in. He'll give you a spending limit."

"Is this Annie or something?" You quip.

Gar tilts his head back with a laugh. "Well, it's a hard 'nough life for us." Gar says with a smile.

You let out a genuine laugh and it makes Gar's face light up. Your laugh is bubbly and loud, almost booming. It's a bit contagious actually and it makes Gar have a little bit of a sigh of relief. If you’re laughing, there's hope for you, especially after that whole talk you just had. You’re funny.

"You're funny, ya know?" You ask once your laughter calms down.

"Oh..." Gar shifts his sheet, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. "You, uh, you think so?" He gains a cheesy and awkward smile making you giggle a little.

"Yeah! Of course, I do." You smile sweetly at him.

"Hey, do you wanna play Xbox?" Gar asks, enthusiasm in his voice. He likes talking to you and you seem like you’re doing better talking. Plus, video games are what Gar always uses to escape from all the shit, maybe it’ll help you.

"I have literally never played Xbox in my life." You blink at him before gaining a smirk.

"Excuse me?" Gar's eyes widen. How have you never played Xbox? He's certain it's the best gaming system to exist.

"Always a big fan of PlayStation." You laugh, finding his shocked expression funny. He does wear his emotions on his sleeve. "But...I guess I could make an exception for you." You give him a corned grin, watching him shift again. Something about certain things you say make him nervous and you kind of like the bubbles that form in your stomach when it happens.

"Okay, okay." Gar stands up quickly, gesturing for your to follow his lead. "I'll change your mind."

You do as he directs. "You have a lot of confidence." You pat his shoulder.

Gar's eyes narrow slightly. "I...can't tell if you're being serious."

You laugh once more. "Eh, half and half." You shrug a shoulder.

"Right." Gar nods, keeping his eyes narrow but there's a smile tugging at his lips. "Come on." He nods his head in the direction of the door, reaching for your hand. You take it without hesitation and he leads you  to his room.

The day goes by, Dick looking for you, he finds you with Gar in his room a few hours later. You had left the door open so it wasn't too hard to find you. You were both yelling, very excitedly at the TV and when Dick found you, you were plopped in two chairs beside each other, a control in each hand. You both were laughing and Dick never would have known you were new to the tower by how comfortable you looked and it gave him some hope. There's some type of hope for you. No one is ever just some lost cause. Dick hated to break it up but Jason and Rachel were already waiting for Gar in the training room.

While the others trained, Dick and you went on your shopping run. Dick took you to a few stores to pick out a few outfits, pajamas, training clothes, and just a few things for your room. It was weird for you to just be out in the open, shopping as if you weren't just held captive the day before. But, something about Dick did feel safe. Maybe it was the fact he was Robin. He might have helped the Joker stay alive by simply not killing him, but he did put him away several times. And, now you have somewhere to run to if Jerry happens to show up.

But that's not all. It was just bizarre to have this stranger buy you things. You were never one that really liked accepting things from people like this. Presents, sure. Everyone likes presents but this just felt like charity and it took everything in you to refrain from snarky comments the whole time. But you did it and you had a good time. You got some take out and you got to actually have one of your favorite take out foods. Dick didn't ask about how much you lit up at the thought of it for lunch, he already had an idea why. He figured maybe it'd be better to leave all of that alone and just have a few hours to let you just be.

"So," Dick asks as he drives them back to the tower.

"So." You state, looking over at him. He just has this look like he wants to ask questions. "Okay." You sigh. "Ask the question you want and I will not give you a bullshit answer."

Dick chuckles. "Alright," He nods. "How much control do you have of your powers?"

You look ahead of them as your light turns red. "This much." You open the palms of your hands, the palms turning green. Then, you close them, the green fading. You do this a few times with ease, ending with spirit fingers, your hands glowing a neon green. "Why?"

Dick's brows are furrowed. "Just curious, how do you do that?" He pauses. "What about the mug this morning?"

"Control or the whole acid thing?" You shrug, looking in front of you. "And apparently, my mom and the Joker are major triggers, learn something new every day, I guess."

"Understandable. And both, I guess."

"Uh...control well. I was traumatized." You scoff. "Control is easy when you're in a life or death situation. I mean...like learning it. Don't have a fucking choice if you wanna live. The acid though, uh-huh." You shrug. "I think about it I guess and then it just happens."

You remember when you found out you could produce acid. You were mad at Jerry for injecting you and then getting mad at you for it. It was about seven months after living with him and at that point, you were just so sick and tired of it all. All you wanted was to rip Jerry’s throat out with your bare hands. And then, your hands starting glowing, acid leaking from your palms. It was a shock, for sure, but it was a bigger shock that Jerry didn’t realize the chemical burn on the floor was from you. He just thought he spilled something and hadn’t noticed it prior. You considered some kind of weird luck. From there, it was just making sure it never happened in front of him.

Dick hums to himself. "Think you could try and show Rachel how you control it?"

"Uh...sure?" You question him. "Isn't that like...your job, Bat Boy?"

"I don't have powers like you guys." Dick states, the light turning green. "Rachel's powers are just really strong and she's had a lot happen recently."

"I have heard." You sigh. "I mean...I can try." There's a sense of empowerment you feel with Dick asking for help with Rachel. He trusts you, at least a little bit which is kind of nice. "I-it's just...I-I melted a mug today. I don't have that much control, apparently."

He nods with understanding. "You have enough to help."

"Well, alright then. Does that mean I get to learn to fight?" You give him a hopeful smile. 

"How are you feeling?"

"Great." You give him a thumbs-up even though he’s watching the road.

"Are you lying?"

"Yes, yes I am." You laugh softly. "Uh....my face is still pretty sore. Arms and legs still feel a bit weak...." Your eyes go distant as you stare in front of you, flashbacks of the torture clouding your vision and the endless cycle of either not being given food or given the bare minimum.

"You need to get better first." Dick states, his voice unwavering.

"Shouldn't I still be preparing though? Like...I don't know. Small stuff."

"Not yet."

You sigh but don't fight him. Jason owes you one for the bet. If Dick doesn't think you’re strong enough to at least learn something, you'll just ask him. He don't seem like one to follow the rules anyway. It’s just a precaution to protect yourself, just in case.

When you get back to the tower, Dick helps you bring your stuff to your room. It's not a lot by any means, just some clothes, a few vinyls, and some art for your walls. Dick leaves you to yourself and you look around your room, gaining a genuine, happy smile. This is your space to make yours so you get to work.

You dig out a Fall Out Boy vinyl from one of the bags and put it on the record player that was already in your room. You turn it up as loud as it will go, the sound of music feeling almost riveting. Another thing you’ve missed more than you actually realized and then you start getting your room together.

A few hours go by and your room is coming along. You’ve moved a few things around and got your posters hung up. It doesn't feel quite like home yet but Dick said if you stay, you can get more stuff to make it more yours later. So, this is a start and it fills your chest with a sense of warmth as you look around until there's a knock on your door. You turn the music down before opening the door and you’re met by Gar in a green pullover and black joggers.

Gar's eyes glance behind tiy and then back to you. "Hey, uh." He scratches the back of his neck. "We do movie night in the living room sometimes, did you wanna join? Rachel and Jason are in there now."

"Uh..." You stutter. They do movie nights? Is this really some found family shit? The way everyone talks about Jason you find it a little hard to believe he'd actually part-take in any group activity that didn't involve punching each other. But you don't have anything to lose. If you want to stay, that also involves effort from you and Gar will be there. "Sure." You give a soft smile before walking over to your bed and grabbing Gar's hoodie. "Thanks." You hand it back to him and he gives you a closed smile, raising the fabric to say you’re welcome.

"Anytime." Gar smiles, jerking his head towards the living room. "I'm gonna put this away, meet you in here?"

"Okay." You say with ease before turning on your heels, heading down the hallway and Gar can't help but watch you with a goofy smile.

You just have on black sweatpants and a pink hoodie but you look comfortable and you didn't look annoyed when you opened the door. That seems to be your general state of mind, annoyed. From what Gar has seen. Of course, you’ve loosened up when he's talked to you but you always looks very annoyed beforehand.

You walk into the living room seeing Rachel all the way to the left and Jason sitting all the way to the right, facing the fireplace. They truly could not be any more apart, eyes on the TV that's mounted above the fireplace and you find it a little comedic. They must really hate each other. So, you take a seat by Jason, mostly because you think it's funny to bug him and you could just tell sitting by him would irritate him. Plus, that leaves room for Gar to sit on the other side between you and Rachel.

"Can I fucking help you?" Jason snarks as he looks to you.

"What're we watching?" You ask, an innocent smile pulling at your lips.

"It's Jason's turn so probably something gory." Rachel remarks with wide eyes laced with annoyance.

Jason turns to face you, which moves him a little too close to you. His eyes look you up and down, just once before landing on your eyes. "Don't worry, if you get scared, I'll protect you."

Rachel nearly rolls her eyes into the back of her head with Jason's comment, fake gagging while you sit with your mouth slightly ajar, nose scrunched and forehead wrinkled. You sit somewhere between appalled and grossed out. This kid surely has never dated a single human. There's just no fucking way with the lines he pulls. But you shut your eyes for a second, choosing to not even play into that game. Instead, you’re gonna play your own.

"What movies were you thinking?" You ask, matching Jason's position, knee bent and flat on the couch, you facing him as your knees touch.

Jason gains a smirk in just the left corner of his mouth. "We could watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hostel, or Saw IV."

His stare is directly at you and it's a taunt. But you find it funny, not even bothered by the distaste of his comment, in fact, he plays into your hand. He thinks you need protecting from a horror movie and that of all people here, you'd go to him? When Gar is right there?

"Texas is a classic, assuming you don't mean the shitty ass remake from 2003. Hostel's alright if you're into Eli Roth. Saw series has always been good gore. Never quite cross that line into torture porn." You smile at him, it's a sweet smile while you lean your elbow on the back of the couch and Rachel sits behind you completely entertained. All she can think is that they needed someone who can match Jason's energy.

Jason's face softens, just for a split second. Your response caught him off guard and he was so sure you'd be against watching any of those. He thought maybe he'd get a rise out of you for suggesting them or offering to protect you or maybe get something better than that out of it. But all he got was whatever that was. It was his turn and those were the three he was considering but Gar and Rachel don't really like the movies. He assumed you wouldn't either, especially if what they found on the computer the night before means what they think it means.

Gar comes in a few seconds later, seeing you and Jason facing each other in a way that almost seems like some weird face-off staring contest at this point. He glances at Rachel who shrugs but she has a smirk that's begging to be broken into a laugh. Just a tint of burning coats Gar's stomach as he sees the two of you and he knows what it is but he pushes it down. He shakes his head and walks up to you.

"Everything okay?" He asks, his voice cautious as he looks between the two of you before sitting on the opposite side of you.

"Fine," Jason mumbles, finally breaking the stare and sitting normally on the couch before grabbing the remote. "Saw it is."

"Ugh, why do you always pick gory movies, dude?" Gar groans, tilting his head back.

"Don't like gore?" You ask with a laugh.

"You do?!" Gar's head shoots back up, a grimace on his face. He doesn't mind it in older films, the effects weren't great then. But the newer ones tend to turn his stomach. Horror is great, but gore? Not Gar's favorite.

"Yeah, of course. They're fun." You shrug, switching to sit forward, pulling your legs up under you and Gar keeps the grimace on his face. "What?"

"He doesn't know why anyone wants to volunteer to watch gore." Rachel snickers.

"Because you can shut the movie off whenever you get too scared and the effects are cool." You shrug and it makes Gar give you a shy smile. "I can hold your hand if you want?" If you said it to Jason, it would have been sarcastic and rude but with Gar, it was a genuine and sincere offer.

Gar's cheeks burn with the offer and his stomach flips, unlike you and Rachel, he didn't find the offer a bit cringey or lame. Your smile is gentle and sweet like honey until you realize that you just pulled what Jason did and it seems you realize it the same time Jason does.

"Did you just take my fucking line?" Jason scoffs.

"No, yours was weird, mine was nice." You retort, internally kicking yourself for it.

"It's okay." Gar whisper, shifting in his seat a little. He was never really good about things that might be flirting or not flirting and just being nice. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." You smile softly at him, your heart sinking a little.

"Okay, turn on the movie." Rachel looks between the three of you, not sure what the hell is going on there and not even wanting to know.

Jason turns the movie on without any further argument. The four of you settle into your spots as the movie starts to play and despite the fact you’ve been at the tower for just over twenty-four hours now, you feeling pretty comfortable around them. The three of them make it easy. None of them feel threatening, even with two of them having powers. They don't feel "special" as Dick put it. All three of them just feel normal and normalcy is something you’ve craved for two years.

And then there's Gar who can't keep his eyes on the moving, partially because he finds the gore a bit nauseating but also because he can feel you glance at him every now and then. He can't tell if the glances are because he doesn't like the movie so maybe you’re checking on him which is a strange thought, that's kind of his job. Or maybe it's because he's sitting too close to you, he doesn't feel like he is. When Gar looks over, it looks like he's sitting just as far away as Jason is so maybe that isn't it. The one thing he does know is that he doesn't mind you glancing at him.

The lack of sleep for you, however, is definitely catching up to you. Your eyes are weighed down, heart rate is slowing down and you just feel like maybe you could rest your eyes for a few minutes. Saw IV isn't even one of your favorite Saw movies, you won't miss much. And the next thing Gar knows, your head falls onto his shoulder. He straightens his back quickly when it happens, catching him off guard but then he looks at you, asleep and he doesn't have the heart to wake you up. A caring small comes to Gar's lips as he looks back to the TV and he kind of likes your head on his shoulder. Maybe it means you trust him and after everything, he can only imagine what you’ve been through, that's kind of a big deal on day two.

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Tag list: @italiana-20 // @fairyofshampoo // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders​

#gar logan #jason todd #gar logan x reader #garfield logan x reader #jason todd x reader #gar logan fanfic #gar logan fanfiction #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #caving in

[hawkeyedflame]

"anyway, go ahead and post your screenshots, like i give a fuck. i never said anything in that server that i don't stand by still, and i certainly never harassed anyone. while you're doing that, maybe go outside and touch some grass. like, seriously. live your life outside in the real world like a normal person and you might realize that nobody gives a flying fuck about your internet temper tantrums."

This is just Peak ironic and hypocrisy of you and your friends given what they were doing in there but I'm sorry that you just want to sweep everything underneath the rug and act like you're forgiven or have Redemption now when you haven't done anything to become a better person lol lmfao even.

It's super duper funny to watching you try to take the high road here 😂 but just know people know the real you twerp

2) Rules for the not we must be very strong motto with you too 😂 But again it's so crazy how you just lied and then immediately resended that lie and tried to wiggle your way out, you want to talk about being racist or sexist or homophobic but wait till the screenshots come out and I'll tag everything appropriately there for you and see how your friend still feel about you but deep down you haven't changed and wont change just like your creepy pals that were in there with you haven't stopped or changed as well but I'm going to guess that you just conveniently avoided all that somehow huh 3) You were so upset over hominis and his wife both racist sexist garbage people 🤡 enjoy your side show clowns ya freakshow 😂 Karma will see to you, don't worry ugly. 4) Awe you're upset of cisnowflake too another horrible sexist racist loser? For all your projecting and positioning you try to do on your page you're still just the same person you have been 2 years ago and even further back because no matter where you go or what you do you are still you Paige and your true colors will bleed back through and you can't change the hate in your heart anymore than you can change how retarded, ironic and hypocritical you are 😂 Cuz again I don't see you renouncing your friends Behavior or what they did or your part in it you're just mad because I'm here calling you out about it while you're trying to save face. I mean again if you truly moved on and are turning this new page relief you could have just apologized or said you know what that situation was horrible but no you double down back to like you always do and will again. Garbage person, simple ass 🤷‍♂️ 5)Again it's just funny you go from you weren't in any kind of Discord doing harassment or talking shit about people you dont even know and then you admit that you were in there and you stand by everything that you said but then say you've changed and its others problems what you did and caused. Yup that's the way to have integrity and maturity and to get to the next level of being a better person for sure just sleeping everything underneath the rug and flipping everybody off in the process. I hope your life is as "pleasant" as you have been.

I go to bed and then go to work and come back to this word vomit... You might actually be more deranged than the chick from the FMA fandom who was tweaking out about me supposedly being a transphobe. I'm legitimately impressed by your dedication. Honest.

So anyway, this is really funny, I guess since you're on anon like a spineless worm, you're giving me the liberty of having the last word, because I certainly won't be answering any more asks from your crazy ass after this lol

I am friends with very few people in that server. The people who are/were in there at the time that I was also using the server were acquaintances at most, with the vast majority being strangers I'd never met. I never once participated in harassing or being hateful towards anyone while I was using that server. As I said, post your screenshots if it will make you feel big and cool. I do not give a fuck. It's not like I'm going to waste my time looking at whatever "evidence" you think you have on me.

I didn't lie. I said I don't use servers, which is true. I did not say that I've never used servers. 2+ years of not participating in any servers constitutes saying that I do not use servers. You're grasping at straws, it's pretty sad.

When was I ever upset about Hom and his wife? They can take care of themselves. This doesn't even make any sense.

This is actually just really funny. You're here on anon trying to tell me you know me well enough to know whether I've changed as a person. I have, believe me. Just not in my political opinions. I don't need to renounce anything or apologize for anything, because I am not any of the things you are accusing me of being, nor are any of the people you have brought up by name in this weird little mental breakdown you're having in my inbox.

Again, didn't lie. Didn't talk shit about anyone I don't know except for a couple of creepy-ass tumblr losers that were outright stalking a couple of my acquaintances. Perhaps you're assmad because you're one of those stalkers? Much to think about. My life is extraordinarily pleasant, yes, and getting better every single day. Thank you for the well wishes. Happy new year :)

#Anonymous #long post #hall of shame #sorry to everyone who has to see this on their dash #i somehow manage to acquire creepy obsessed fans even though i've been on tumblr like 5 times in the last six months lmao

[dojunie]

IVE BEEN WANTING TO GREET YOU A WELCOME BACKK!! 🤸🏻‍♀️😭 I WASNT REALLY SURE IF I SHOULD MSG, COZ THIS WOULD BE THE FIRST OF MY ENTIRE TUMBLR CARRER 🫢😭 BUT YAURSS 😭✊🏼 I JUST STARTED FOLLOWING YOUR ACCOUNT A MONTH AGO?? 😭 AND MISDIAL FUCKING ATE.‼️‼️ IT ISNT EVEN FINISHED, YET THE CHAPTERS IVE READ IS ENOUGH FOR ME TO KNOW ITS A MASTERPIECE FR 😭✊🏼 BRO I WAS LITERALLY READING IT ON A SCHOOL NIGHT, AND GURL WHEN I TELL YOU I COULD NOT STOP READING.BLOODSHOT EYES GLUED TO MY SCREEN, CHARGING MY PHONE AND LAYING ON ONE SIDE TILL IT REACHES A CERTAIN AMNT OF PERCENTAGE SO I COUKD TURN AROUND KNOWING I COULDNT WAIT AND PAUSE READING TYPE THANG 😭 SAFE TO SAY I DID NOT GET SLEEP 😭 I DEADASS FINISHED THOSE 2 CHAPTERS IN ONE GO, AND I SWORE TO MYSELF ID KEEP CHAPTER 3 FOR WHEN U UPDATE SO ID HAVE SOMETHING TO KEEP ME SANE. I LIED. I COULDNT HELP IT BRAH, YOUR WRITING JUST TEWW GOODD. I READ THE LAST CHAPTER IN SCHOOL, AND AFTER I FINISHED I WAS LITERALLY STUNNED BRO. LIKE WHADAFAK, I SAT THERE LONGING (😂😭) LIKE REAL NOT FAKE. I WAS GLUED TO MY SEAT JUST WISHING AND PRAYING FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER 😭✊🏼 I WAS DEADASS DYING WAITING FOR THE NEXT UPDATE BRO. AND I WAS EVEN MORE FLABBERGASTED WHEN I REALIZED YOU LAST UPDATED ON DECEMBER OF LAST YEAR⁉️⁉️ BRO I CRIED. I PRAYED, AND I CRIED 😭. I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE ABANDONED STORIES OR ABANDONED BLOGS 😭🙏🏼🧎🏻‍♀️ BUT BRO I LOVE GOD FR I LOVE THE UNIVERSE THEY BE WATCHING MY BACK COZ LITERALLY NOT EVEN A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER YOU CAME WITH AN UPDATE‼️ YAHEY😭🤸🏻‍♀️✨🧚🏻‍♂️ TALK ABT PERFECT TIMINGG‼️ BUT YAURS IK DIS WAS A LONG MSG 🤣 COULDNT CONTAIN MYSELF FR 😭✊🏼 BUT I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW, TAKE YOUR TIME WITH SETTLING IN, UPDATING, AND EVERYTHANG. YOU HAVE A LOT GOING ON WITH JOB HUNTING, SCHOOL, AND MOVING!! DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO UPDATE, TAKE YOUR TIME!! (Please update misdal soon 🙏🏼🧎🏻‍♀️😭🤣 ‼️half jks‼️🤣) BUT YAURS TAKE YOUR TIME AND MAKE SURE YOU’RE PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST 🫶🏻 LOVE YOUSSS ✨🧚🏻‍♂️🤸🏻‍♀️🫶🏻 STAY SAFES AND HEALTHY IN THE MEANWHILEE 😋🫶🏻🫶🏻😭 (sorry if I didn’t really make sense, English isn’t my first language 😭🙏🏼🫶🏻)

idk i think im in love w u

definitely need to put this under a read more bc i have been SCREAMING!!!!!!! OVER THIS ASK FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS!!!!!!! when i tell you im going to print out this message and stick it to the wall in front of my desk so i can see it every time i sit down to write najkdajdjsklajd nckdsn i love this ask i love u i love this ask i love you!!!!!!!!! im so happy the lil stories i write about kpop boys grabbed u hard enough to make u stay up on a school night, dying phone and all 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 as i was writing ch4 and starting ch5 i was thinking of this message like 'i cant let colorful anon down i have to get this shit out BEFORE 2024!!!!!!!!" AND SO BE IT IT SHALL BE DONE

its crazy to think that its Literally been an entire year since the last update and people are still so invested........... like im cryin a little yall are seriously the realest

i love u im not kidding this is my favorite ask of all time. i almost dont want to answer it so it can stay in my ask box forever but u clearly went all out in writing this so i simply cannot allow the world to not see your work of art

screenshotting to make it my wallpaper as we speak

i am dubbing you colorful anon, pls come back whenever you want even if its just to leave an emoji in my inbox when ch 4 drops

im going to staple this message to every wall of my house i am so honored to be ur first ask

going to OPEN the misdial google doc and write some more for YEW!!!!!!! CAUSE U DESERVE IT!!!! MUAH MUAH KISSES I AM TUCKING U INTO BED LOVINGLY!!!!!!!!!!

#dojun talks #dojun answers #BELOVED ANON #COLORFUL ANON #NUMBER ONE MISDIAL ENJOYER

[nescavaneck]

That Time Of The Year

... Ah, anyone else feeling it too? That time of the year, where some of us is just so tired, am I right!

It's the most happy time of the year! But not really feeling it as yet? Well I'm not here too judge, I'm here to tell you, that I hear you, heck! I even feel the same, see its the time of "giving" and I personally love that! I've always been a Christmas girly 😁, but sometimes especially after such a busy year, I personally feel tired, like just give me a pillow and blanket right now😱, and wake me when its 2024 😂😂😂...

But we still have some stuff to do, and plans to arrange, houses to clean (because family members might just move some of those heavy furniture to see if you dusted there in the last 3 months😋🤣) yeah we all know how it goes, and before long we start worrying about what food to prepare, what are we going to wear, how we have to be at our best... But tonight I found this verse

"‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:25‬ ‭NIV‬‬

[25] “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? "

And further on He says, look He takes care of the birds, and yet they don't do anything. So the thought came up too me, about how we all worry about silly little things (or big things) but honestly even though it ain't easy, we don't need to do that! Jesus takes care of us, He loves us, and He will give us the strength that we need , for the last couple of weeks of 2023 💞...

Now, maybe your reading this thinking to yourself, you have no idea what needs to be done before the end of the year! And you are right, I don't know everything you have to do, but I do know this, that Jesus is our rock and fortress , He is our resting place, and He will give us the strength, and courage, to do all the things we should be doing! 💞

The other thing I do know for certain is that you my love, needs to take care of yourself aswell, 💓 you can't take care of everyone, if your "cup" is running empty, so I need you to take care of yourself aswell , you need to rest and relax now and then too you know😘

Don't know where to start😱 ... Here is a few of my favourite things to do...💞

Do some yoga, it helps you relax and sleep better..🌿

Try deep breathing meditation 🌺

Listening to some white noise, or your favourite playlist - (no sad songs🥹)

Positive Affirmations 😍 (if you can't find anything, comment and I'll drop you some)

Reading a book 📚 (who doesn't want to get lost in those characters world😋)

Drinking some green tea before bed, also helps with better sleep, and is just overall really good for you - 🍵 (not big on green tea, try peppermint tea 🫒)

These is just some of my tried and tested "go to" list so too say - 💓

"Self-care is the gateway to self-love, self-love is the path too loving others better"

So whether or not you feel overwhelmed, by everything or not - take some time for your self, 💓 because darling you are important ❤️...

Full disclosure, felt like someone needed this, 💓 also you caught me, I am drinking my green tea 🍵 right now, then some yoga🌺 and then it's me and the book 📚 I'm currently reading 💓 - so my loves💞 I sure do hope y'all have a lovely, blessed evening/day 🌺

*Also so sorry for being so quiet, been a bit busy, but love y'all so much 💓*

#yoga #selfcare #blogpost #Christmas #love #loveyourself #beyou #maketime

[tecchous-thicc-buttocks]

what do you like doing in your free time?

why is your name clenched buttocks (I wanna know the reason, pls its so funny lol)

what are things you're good at? (own it babe) (and i don't mean 'babe' in a weird way - just gotta clear that lol)

do you have a best friend?

do you write OG stories and/or fanfics?

one thing you hate about yourself

one thing you love about yourself

do you want a pet? if so, what pet and why

(pls at this rate, its sounding like an interview, so sorry 😂 i'm just...i have a lot of time in my hands and i decided to do this for no particular reason)

fave type of music?

what made you like bsd? and did you always like it? (cause for me, i didnt like it too much at first but it grew on me the second time around)

have you read the bsd light novels and what's your fave light novel if yes?

any pet peeves?

what's your 'ideal' partner (do you have a type like Kunikida or are you fine with anything as long as you're having fun)

Would you rather be single and rich or taken and with a normal salary?

are you happy with where you work/study?

what's your dream career?

what's the app you use the most?

would you rather draw or write?

*** (P.S just pick the ones you want to answer) **

i think im going to look like a weirdo asking so much questions but whatever. at least we dont know each other HAHA i hope you have a good day. <3 and also i love your analyses. just keep posting what you like. i find some of your posts funny lol

good day.

(# you asked and i delivered) (# just me looking for an excuse to use this line) (# cause you said you wanted more questions in your other post TT) (# also ik this isn't a real tag but i wanna be ✨creative) (# fan behavior? idk anymore lmao) okay bye mwa <3

KHJDKJKSAJDGKJSFKG I LOVE THIS I LOVE YOU I WILL BEGIN ANSWERING NOW

i have no free time. I either overwork myself or sleep. however, assuming that i've got a sliver of time to do something, I swap from one obsession to the next <3 rn it's going for insanely long bike rides and turn down every road I feel like until I'm lost,, and going to the gym like an absolute maniac bc i want my arms to be the size of a regular adult's legs

my username is what i desire in life. it is was I strive to be worthy of. it is beauty and life itself, it is the culmination of the universe's most wonderous accomplishments all squished into two raging enormous, gargantuan muscular earth shattering sea trembling ass cheeks 😩😩 (BUT in all seriousness I chose this bc I felt like having tecchousthiccthighs wasn't quite as pleasant??? eheheh buttocks is a funny word)

MY TALENT IS SAYING ANYTHING THAT CROSSES MY MIND TO STRANGERS i've been on this spree lately where I just straight up call anyone pretty when I run into them and HOLY MOLY PPL ARE SO CUTE ABT IT this is your sign to compliment someone today ✨✨ but nah baby i'm good at everything it's a curse ngl (U CAN CALL ME WTV HUN IT'S OK KJKDJFKJS UR SO ADORABLE WHAT)

no best friend bc i can't do commitment and bully friends that get too close to me 😍😍 BUT i'm gonna tag @bellyjellyfish for being my one and only and somehow not hating me thru my unironic "uwu" phase <33

I wrote a 700 page story when I was 12 and it remains unfinished bc I kept rambling and there was no plot 🕴️I love writing but abandon a whole lot of works bc I dream up the rest of the plot and go "oh well why write it now i've been there done that" I DO WRITE FANFICS 👁️👁️ I have a wp account where i wrote a bunch of awful stories and it still stands to this day! (no i will not disclose it don't even try me grr)

I hate how sexy I am 😭😭😭😩😩😩🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

I love how sexy I am 😳😳😳😳🥶🥶🥶🥶😜😜😜😜

I WANT A TARANTULA I WANT A TARANTULA I WAS A CHILEAN RED KNEE TARANTULA AND I WANT ONE SO BADLY OMFG I've always liked spiders but the ppl I live with would absolutely kick me out if I got one??? once i live on my own i'm def buying two cages so that whenever I have guests, I just put out the empty cage, hide the real one, and be like "oh no what happened to billy my tarantula, he escaped again :(" just to wreak havoc

(HAHA NO IT'S OK I USUALLY DO THIS TO OTHER PPL SO I APPRECIATE U SM LOL SLIDE INTO MY DMS BBG)

fav type of music is classical bc i'm edgy and not like other girls 🤩🤩🤩 something about la campanella just hit so hard when I was like 10 that I have taken it and ran, but I do listen to rnb a lot, never in just one language tho bc sometimes english sucks my d

I liked bsd as soon as I saw ranpo's silhouette in the first episode, I was like "him. I want him 🏃‍♀️" but it was solidified in my head as soon as I saw natsume bc 1) he's hot AF IT'S NOT FAIR I WANT HIM 2) I had been reading his irl works and fell in love, so I started exploring other bsd authors and it introduced me to gogol (i'm so in love with his writing style it's not ok) soooo yeah :)) I started reading bc someone (you know who you are) liked chuuya and I haven't looked back since, tbh it's one of my favs just bc of the characters and their depth

I've read all the light novels I could get my hands on, and I have to say stormbringer FOR THE ONLY, SOLE REASON THAT I AM IN ABSOLUTE LOVE WITH ADAM

pet peeve hmmmm idk??? i'm chill with everything except pickles I hate those mfs, but if I had to chose smth it would be when someone shoves a ship down my throat (it's me i'm bitches go stan satosugu rn)

no ideal partner! I'm aro fyi, but also I feel like I'd be chill with just abt anything?? if u match my energy, we can be partners in chaos and i'll feel understood, and if you don't, I get to learn abt a different kind of lifestyle and get to have someone sane to hold me down (or to corrupt), so either way it's a win. I find culture to be incredibly attractive, speak a language I don't or tell me about a tradition of yours with a wholesome smile and I'd move mountains for you 💖💖 teach me abt something that you're emotionally invested in and an expert, and I'm literally yours <3

haha i don't ever wanna be in a relationship so i'll take being rich,, but honestly it ain't about the money, i'd want to have a normal salary and be taken, but it just ain't my vibe ?? dunno how to explain erm-

dream career is racecar driver YOU TRAVEL ACROSS THE WORLD TO ICONIC DESTINATIONS YOU GET PAID INSANE MONEY AND YOU GO VROOM VROOM VERY FAST WHILE CONSTANTLY ALMOST DYING WHAT ELSE DO I NEED IN LIFE????

app i use most is my local library app bc i'm constantly trying to renew my books that are incredibly close to being overdue 🫡 but nahh i don't use my phone that often it still irks me i'm actually a 60 year old gilf who hates technology and complains abt kids these days

I CAN'T DRAW BUT I ALSO CAN'T WRITE YOU'VE GOT ME AT A DEADLOCK BRO??? if it's which I would rather be GOOD at, i'd say drawing bc imagine thinking abt something and just printing it out on paper??? yall fr got some magical talent omg

WHAT IF WE DO KNOW EACH OTHER THO??? WHAT IF WE'RE ACTUALLY NEIGHBORS??? CHILDHOOD FRIENDS??? YOU NEVER KNOW AND YOU PROBABLY NEVER WILL MUAHAHAHAHA i'm gonna stop now but ty for all your questions and have a wonderful day, darling <33

#tags are where i live i love that u made ur own #are u erm single #me u marriage rn #FAN BEHAVIOUR??? OMG WHY ARE U MY FAN I HAVE A FAN??? #this made me giggle a lil bit bc i love talking abt myself but also hate it #fr tho i have met a whole lot of ppl on the internet just by sending them random ass questions and they just answered them like it was chil #fr nikolai kinnie moment #HOWEVER THIS WAS DEFINITELY UNEXPECTED??? #i also got ur other ask i won't post it bc you said to ignore but ur so cute ily #WHY DO U STAY ANON GRR I WANT TO SEND U MY FEET PICS LOVINGLY #anywho #answering asks