#IM SO FUCJING IN LOVE

[zarnzarn]

i see all these comments talking about this after the new episode, but. i would like to state for the record that stolitz isn't. toxic.

first off, the concept of a toxic and a healthy relationship are such... vague terms. when you're online, drenched in language and tight moral boundaries, trying to put a nuanced story like helluva boss's into boxes is easy to attempt and impossible to do.

a toxic relationship is one where one or both parties is maliciously affecting the other. I'm talking fetid, nasty, rude interactions where there is more hurt than love. they're unhappy more often than not when they're with their partner, there's no respect or give from the other side.

stolitz is nothing like that.

Stolas actively cares about Blitz and actually has no fear or hesitation in ADMITTING IT OUT LOUD TO OZZIE. he has been calling, texting, commenting, laughing and finding ways to spend time with Blitz. he's throwing everything he has to the wind, finding the courage to move forward with the divorce, putting everything he has into trying to keep him. he's been alone in a palace since he was born, on medication, with such less people dear to him that he remembered the circus boy who spent a day with him DECADES ago- so when blitz comes into his life and brings back in laughter and color and sex, he's holding on with everything he's got.

and blitz does care!!! he cares a LOT, the whole series we see him falling in love with stolas through SHOW NOT TELL (his expressions, his choices, his fear, his lashing out) and utterly unable to process that stolas cares about him too when talking to fizz; almost a desperate kind of denial-

cause yknow. the first time he tried to confess something to someone he really liked, he accidentally killed half the people he knew and ruined the lives of the rest?

thats gonna leave just a teensy impact on the will to express your emotions in the future, methinks.

even before that, he clearly felt like on some level that he was unworthy and he's said twice that he despises himself for the accident even though it wasn't actually his fault. being self aware doesn't stop the emotions from emotioning.

he keeps insisting its only sex so urgently to anyone who doesn't ask because he can't even imagine it being anything else. he's both disappointed and relieved when he repeats that stolas sees him as a novelty, because what else can it be?

(there's a whole other spiel of how brave both Stolas and Blitz have to be to say it out loud even when asmodeus can't afford to, considering how publically and completely beaten down both were at the club.)

(there's also another whole spiel about how frustrating it has been for ME to see all these comments over time with such bad takes based on like,, 20 min worth of info of a show that takes months to release an ep. like godDAMN have some patience?? let the story UNFOLD MAYBE? IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE AN EXPLANATION WHY WOULD YOU CRITICIZE THINGS THAT ARENT EVEN FINISHED ESPECIALLY AN INDIE ANIMATION- i digress)

mind you, this has NOTHING to do with abuse. an abusive relationship is one where one is actively harming the other with full awareness. Stella is an abuser and their marriage is abusive.

and stolitz isn't that; it isn't even unhealthy or toxic. it's a consensual, transactional fuckbuddy relationship that slid into something more for both of them.

but!!!!! one of the main reasons for the problems that everyone looks over is-

they're in a BDSM relationship.

I can't possibly delve into dynamics without making this a 10k research paper BUT even though we've gotten only hints and costumes and dialogue- they're very clearly and undeniably in a BDSM contract. Behind the scenes of this crazy show is a whole different story, of these two delving into the most hardcore kinks out there- knifeplay, painplay, bondage.

if you've gotten into the community, if you've read a couple dozen particularly good fics by authors who know what they're talking about, hell; even if your only experience is fifty shades or 365 or whatever- you gotta know that BDSM scenes are crazy fucking emotionally heavy. there's so much that has gone down between them during their full moons that helluva can't get into!!

but you know how in so many of these popular medias and fics, the dom in the relationship is also like,, the billionaire/mafia heir/prince, etc, the one with financial and physical power? this isnt that. it has been very clearly stated that stolas is subbing, blitz is domming.

now take a moment and think about how much that fucks up the dynamics.

in stolas' eyes, blitz is a confident, dangerous individual who's an old friend and cherished memory of his, who he's trusted wholly with his safety during sex and he's lucky to have; and he has been in an abusive arranged marriage for the past eighteen Years, he's probably not going to be pushing his luck with his dom that much in the first place. plus, blitz is never cowed by him during their conversations- think back to the first phone call right after he stole the book, completely unafraid.

and for blitz, it's someone trusting him again- but it's also a royal- a blue blood who's nearly untouchable and so much more powerful- who couldn't possibly like a piece of shit like him, apart from the sex he gets out of it. he only flirts once he gets some sort of cue from Stolas; he's desperately trying to view this as only a Goetia trying to get his rocks off, despite all the evidence to the contrary, because anything else is unfathomable to him, no matter how clearly Stolas shows it, because of the ptsd.

both of them thinks the other has the power. both of them aren't expecting the other to keep shut if something's bothering them.

and there's so much conflicting messages from the other too!

stolas calls him a plaything when trying to intimidate the humans; stolas cups his face gently and asks if he's alright

blitz asks him on a date and tells him to get better soon; blitz yells that it's only sex and doesn't reply to his messages

ya see?

bring it to fizzozzie for a second now; even though they do look all good on surface, you can still see fizz's trauma and doubt in all their interactions, they're still forced to keep the relationship secret. do you see his face when Ozzie says in hyperbole that he's never leaving the house again, or when someone accuses him of being a pampered house pet or when he got sexualized in the 7th ep? whatever happened in the interim between the accident with mammon, it fucked him UP. even though oz seems to be well aware of this when he tells him not to apologise and in their general interactions, fizz still visibly has trouble separating plaything/commodity from healthy relationship.

shout the fuck out to Ozzie btw, man knows whats UP. rooting for these two so much omg.

i forgot where I was going with this point, I'll edit it when i remember. but yeah! lovely fucking relationship, but damn what angst filled issues.

anyway, to sum up- stolitz is not a toxic relationship. the relationship is stuck sludging through misunderstandings and careless microaggressions and trauma responses, but it's not unhealthy or toxic because of the simple reason that most of the current hurt comes from... a misunderstanding. stolas didn't realise blitz would need reassurance about what they were and blitz didn't see stolas as someone who could get hurt.

unecessarily calling it toxic, even online, is more impactful than people think too. almost all spindlehorse ARE on all social medias; so MANY YouTube animators i know have found jobs there; they see your words, especially since a lot don't tag posts with "anti hb" correctly to keep them out of the main tag. there are Very few queer medias made BY queer people that haven't gone through heavy corporate revisions- helluva boss is practically a historical landmark in its success. it's very very very fucking easy to forget that not ten years ago some of the only queer videos on YouTube were butter lover (one kiss at the end post credits), dirty paws and welcome to hell (subtext).

the amount of "critical talk" helluva boss gets for what it is is very unprecedented. it's a beautiful show. can't wait for the next episode.

#helluva boss #stolas #blitz #stolitz #fizzarolli #helluva boss ozzie #okay im gonna make SO much content but i had to get this off my chest first #because so many people were like omg fizzozzie is so healthy stolitz take a lesson!! #and theres so much more nuance to it thats its so. frustrating to see a statement like that #meta #anyways #i love this fucjing show

[sugarflow]

love is real

#signalis #signalis spoilers #elster #ariane yeong #my art #sugarflow #im fucjing ill about them im so ill theyre so. man. man. man . man . man #I LOVE GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YURI!!!!!!!!! I LOVE CRYING!!!!!!!!!!! #]

[f0x-gl0ves]

Re watched the runaway bride the other day anywayyyy. Feeling normal about that .

#art #just kidding i love them so hard it gives me stomach acid #fucjing #the way she saves him from himself #they are best friends your honourr best friends #im not prepared for the 25th #drawing #illustration #digital art #my art #fanart #doctor who #dw #dw fanart #doctor who fanart #tenth doctor #10th doctor #donna noble

[n0bluev]

Am i supposed to be sane after having finished reading orv ........ ?

#I KNEW. #I KNEW IT WOULD BE AN OPEN ENDING #OF COURSE IT WAS #ITS FUCKING ORV #it was the only way but WAS IT REEAALLY!? FUCJ YOU I AM KIM DOKJA IM GOING TO KEEP THIS GOING UGHHhhHhh ;-; #orv #... #I LOVE KIM DOKJA SO MUCH WHY WHY WHY IS THIS OVER #.... #전지적 독자 시점 #omniscient reader's viewpoint #:( #⸢This story is for just that one reader.⸥

[oceanwithouthermoon]

saiki and nendo are twilight and pinkie and I'm not going to elaborate (I'm too lazy)

I just started thinking abt this and i needed to tell you 😩

BAHNSBWJB$#SJSN$#YBDJ#Y#BEJDNDJ#><%€]?HEHEHSJWBEHNS#\%|€?\<EJJD# IM SHORT CIRCUITING WHY ARE YOU SO RIGHT

^this episode in particular is soooo them😭THE twipie episode.....

#sorry for so many gifs but... theyre all so them and i couldnt choose #you KNOW how i feel about pink and purple characters why would u get me excited about twipie this is all ur fault #I FUCJING LOVE TWIPIE !!! #never mention mlp in my presence im insane #when u have polar opposite autisms but ur actually perfect together anyway #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #nendo riki #nensai #?? kinda #maybe #meows post

[llumimoon]

MARLOAKWORTHY MATCHING BURN SCARS 😭😭😭😭

#cal rambles #dndads #dndads spoilers #HI SORRY I LOVE THEM STILL #THIS IS SO FUCJING FUNNY #im still mid episode

[ramesespharaoh]

Susie looks like she's about to call me a slur /pos

I LOVED CHAPTER 3???? LIKE OMG IT WAS SO GOOD??? (It took me a week to get past the first part of sans battle and when I finally got to the end I died every time he did his last attack ;-;)

All in all it took me about 1 week and 4 days to finish the deltatraveler underfell pacifist sans battle ;-; BUT I STILL LOVED IT.

Currently I'm playing UNO over and over again till the 4th one comes out, i heard they're taking a break so GOOD FOR THEM if thats true because they deserve it!!! (I got locked in a stalemate with Susie for 30ish minutes till I finally won 3rd place on my first try ;-;)

Thank you to all the people who made @deltatraveler possible cause honestly that shit is fire lmao :3

#deltarune #undertale #sans undertale #deltatraveler #kris deltarune #susie deltarune #doobie ralsie is my reason for living #is it ralsie or ralsei i keep forgetting #just looked it up its ralsei #doobie ralsei is my reason for living #ralsei #two lesbians one of them is a dirty orphan the other is just snow white #noelle holiday #is gay #for susie #i love this fucjing game so much #oh my god #NUMBER ONE SUSIE X NOELLE SHIPPER #IF THERE ARE NO MORE SHIPPERS IM DEAD

[corrodedcoughin]

court awarded a terf piece of shit 100k because she was seemingly fired for having ‘gender critical’ views and now everyone is congratulating her. so just to say if you are a terf get the fuck off of here. And anyone who doesn’t fall into the demands of ‘gender critics’ I fucking love you and I am so glad you are here

#she wasn’t fired. her contract just wasn’t renewed #and now ‘gender critics’ (read TERF) are protected by law for having anti trans ‘beliefs’ #PIECE OF FUCKSHIT COUNTRY #what the FUCK. WHO DO THEY THINK??? THEY ARR?? #the venom and vitriol people use to speak about trans issues is disgusting #‘it’s a matter of holes’ FUCK. YOU! #’so you think it’s fine for a man in a dress to be in a toilet with my 12 year old daughter?’ #is a thing I had to read with my own eyes #WHY ARE YOU MAKING IT SEXUAL???? #what the fucj is wrong with people of my fucking hod I just want to scream #social workers in my office making transphobic remarks about their clients. nurses homophobic about everyone #racist about their co worker #and discriminatory about a student on placement with additional learning needs #but it’s FINE because it’s a JOKE #im going to bite a chunk out of my arm and spit it at them #tw transphobia #tw homophobia #wil delete later sorry I’m just ENRAGED #I love you all so MUCH. ANGELS!!

[bigmack2go]

Im done with chaotic prankster twins istg you guys dont even seem to realise how iverused that is!

And i also dont want twins finding each other by coincidence thinking their inlychilds

Gimme burned out twins

Give me one twin thats jealous of the other

Give me organised asf twins

Give me rule follower twins

Give me voice of reason twins

Give me unpopular twins

Give me twins who love each other but wish they weren’t twins

Give me boring twins

Give me moodkiller twins that step when someone wants to pull a prank

Or at least twins who are hesitant to help woth pranks, not snitch on them or only stand guard

Give me something else for once. Give me a break!

#im saying this as a twin #i love fred and george #i love mike and ike #i love that dynamic but im so fucking tired of it #like maybe its just me but i feel like whenever people see twins they go #oh yeah they’re pranksters #and it’s overused okay #its fucjing overused

[rickety-house]

Teacher drawing! 🫶

I AHVE NO FUCJING CLUE WHAT POWER POSSESED ME TO DRAW THUS BUT OH MY GOD I LVOE IT SO MCUH HELP ME

#art #artist #little nightmares #ln #little nightmares teacher #ln teacher #little nightmares 2 #artists on tumblr #im so FUCJING proud of thus drawing yuo have no idea #teacher my beloved #i love her sm #you dont understand #shes my bbg

[hjemne]

Just finished trigun 98 and what the FUCK how could you possibly do this to me

#im not okay #oh my god #it was 15 episodes of pure stupidity and 11 episodes of ehat thr FUCK #fjdwkkajw????? #IN A CHURCH #ON THE CROSS ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME #MILLY my number one most precious girl ever my love my dear #god they wanted families #screamung crying puking my guts out #i gotta read the manga i feel like theres so much lore around the plants and gunslingers and knife that im super missing out on #and watch the film and then finally watch the new reboot #it's 4am i was going to stop but then SOMEONE turned rhemself into a martyr and i couldn't sleep until i knew the ending #in a fucking church on a fucjing cross #but also vash screaming BRAD was pure comedy ngl #brad just is Not an angsty name #it doesn't work I'm sorry hes playing football and drinkin beer not sacrificing his life to save someone else #i really need to sleep now #trigun #rambles #trigun 98

[7roaches]

ngl ice king and mbetty is cute but i think if i was ice king and i turned back into simon bc all the golbetty shit still happened my entire perception would chan why am i talking in first person i think for a looooong time like akin to his process in f&c simon would be hung up over betty nd be like “ooooo yeah ice king was terrible i understand why she was like that” and then when he cant rationalize that anymore hed be like “ooooo betty was crazy and i was too so i understand it” and then “oooooo but she loved me so much so its actually romantic” & then he’d reach his pinnacle instead of minerva therapy i think hed just sit there like hey. what the fuck was that about

#cool posts #adventure time #not taghing the ship bc i heard there was weirdos in the tag nd ion wanna deal with that #copied qnd pasted tjis from disc so it kinda sucks #but like. i frel like the way ppl portray em nd their general dynamic in general simon would get 14 years in the future and have soooo much #compartmentalization to do i think thats the word #thats not a bad thing btw i support womens wrongs & rights for both of them #this might be poking a wasps nest but maybe the wasps will just give me a counterpoint civilly and i go ahhhh good point #i love discussion im just like simon hes so me #even tjo the girlboything i showed the cecaelian to (we didnt kiss but he told me hed rip my bones out win) says im so betty #which is also so win we should become ice king and magic betty & have toxic yuri that later we’re like hey what the fucj #teeheeeeee kicks my feet

[rockybfdi2763]

hey guys if I like. made a tumblr object comic where the asks controlled competitions and stuff would you guys like. be interested

#object show community #autism #adhd #hfjone #inanimate insanity #bfdi #ion object show #love of the s*n #i have ocs n everything #please reblog #i need to know #PleaA #im so fucjing autistic #ahdjfjfnf

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

stfu ART cannot be dead. surely not. this book is lying to me

#someone better say sike RIGHT FUCKING NOW im so upset. im SO upset #although i do incredibly love murderbot having an emotional breakdown. #when the one alien (<< i think theyre aliens ar least) said they deleted art and amena looked at murderbots face and just said 'oh shit' #like fuck yes i love some murderous revenge moments. thats so delicious. but also i cannot accept the fact that art is dead #MURDERBOT HAS REFERRED TO ART AS ITS FRIEND MULTIPLE TIMES SINCE IT AND AMENA WERE CAPTURED #IT HAS NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. WITHOUT ANY SNARKY SIDE COMMENTSRY #IT HAS THOUGHT THE WORD FRIEND. GENUINELY. MULTIPLE TIMES. #IM GOING TO START EATING FIBERGLASS. RIGHT NOW #SOMEONE SAY SIKE PLEASE. I MISS ART SO MUCH #<< DO NOT ACTUALLY TELL ME. IM STILL READING. #reaction time #im fucking UPSET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #but also i LOVE murderbot feeling unbridled emotions . more of that please. its pissed its grieving its miserable #it cant think about art too long without completely breaking down. it has let its guard down around dangerous entities so many times. it #never fucjing does that. especially while it considers amena a client and ESPECIALLY because shes dr mensahs kid. #what the hell im feeling so insane rn.

[cantofworms]

Last thing we hear from you is you’re gonna watch supernatural and then you disappear 😭

yeeeahhhh about that it’s been four days and I’m a few episodes into season three now w no end in sight😭

#THESE GODDAMN BROHTERS FUCKIN GOT ME ANON #LIKE OKAY FONW SPN IS A REALT DUCKI GGOOD SHOW FUCKKKKKKK IM OBSSEDDD #THE OVERL STORY IS SO COMPAEING PLUS EACH INDIVIDUAL EPISODE IS UNIQUE ANS INTERESTING #I AM SO FUCKKG OBSESSEDLY INSANELY DOWN BAD NEED TO HAVE HIS CHILDREN IN LOVE W SAM FUCKING WINCHESTERRRRRRRRR GODODODODIDODODODIDIDIDIDIDD #MY POOR FUCKINGBABY HE JUST CAMT CATCB A FUCJING BREAK😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I don’t wanna engage in spn stuff online yet bc of spoilers so Dream has until I finish the series to get his shit together #which at the rate I’ve been watching is like maybe only 3 weeks #o7 soldiers I fear my mcyt hyperfix is finally coming to an end after three fucking years………