#IM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS GARBAGE

[rubythecrimsonwriter]

I have to say this because I just had a very serious talk with my bestie about weight.

When I first went to college, I was doing acrobatics four days a week and a 15 to 18 hour course load a semester, while spending six months out of the year sick or recovering from such. The bronchitis plus [whatever comorbid illness struck this time] was bad enough, but the recovery took so long because I had so little fat that my body would start eating muscle and tissue.

I had access to a school nutritionist and so I wrote down everything that I tended to eat, how often I did so. My diet was and still is semi-decent, mostly because I have enough texture issues that a lot of junk food and "unhealthy" (I say that loosely) stuff I can only eat very tiny portions of, if at all, and most meat things are completely off the table unless I make it myself.

I was and still am very high energy. I have always been skinny or slender since I started walking, had some body image issues after being sick and I could count every rib. At the time of going to the nutritionist, I was 190 pounds of mostly muscle.

She looked at me like I'd lost my goddamn mind when I said I wanted to gain some fat and I wanted to know why I just wasn't. I was a freshman. I knew about the freshman fifteen. Instead of gaining fifteen pounds, though, I lost it, and it was fifteen pounds I didn't really have to lose. I was eating something ridiculous like almost double what the average woman "should" be, calorie wise, basically constantly snacking because I was always hungry.

Two years later I was in the hospital for a month. A wheelchair for seven. Lost almost eighty pounds in eight months. Died three times.

It's five years past that now. I'll never be able to fly like I used to, but I can pick up unsuspecting coworkers and adoptive siblings again, which is great fun for startling them. I can renovate my house without too much issue. I weigh 160 lbs now, and for the first time in my life, I have fat on me, after seven years of working at it and so many goddamn catastrophes it's ludicrous.

It took me seven years to gain twenty pounds of fat. Of me actively working on it. There's no such fucking thing as "weight gain!" pills, and there's no such thing as "weight loss" pills either, and take it from an Irish woman? Starving yourself doesn't work either. If you feel good in your body, if it works for you regardless of your weight, then you're fine. The only way anything is going to change is a massive force--like illness, or amputation, or cancer, or occupation, or food scarcity.

Fat people's positive representation in media is shit, and the way that Americans, at least, tend to see fat people is shit, and I'm sorry. You are worthy of feeling at home in your body, without fear of judgement of yourself or society, of feeling good without reservation. The twenty pounds of fat I've gained has, no joke, changed my life. I don't get cold standing in front of a refrigerator, I'm not utterly terrified of getting sick again and dying of something stupid like bronchitis or strep throat. I feel good, and I hope that you can feel good too, and not continuously damage your body by yoyoing your weight with attempted diets and pills.

#idk if i should tag this tbh #its half rant because Im so tired of my best friend beating herself up #like weve been friends for thirteen years and shes broad-shouldered and fat and drop dead gorgeous and so insecure #and she does diets and shit and then gets sick and her weight is all over thr place and i just want her to be happy and healthy #and when shes got things to do she thrives. but as soon as she doesnt shes back to torturing herself. #girl you step foot in a hardware store in a bun that you took two literal seconds to do and a plain longsleeve and some leggings #and i just want to take her phone and chuck it in thr garbage can as hard as I can bc i KNOW its fuckin tiktok being fatphobic #please i just want her to be happy #and like shell get compliments from the hardware store lesbians in spite of her frankly magnificent RBF and its like she doesnt believe them

[nat-20s]

I really lost an entire fucking WEEK to being sick huh like hrrrGGGG i had STUFF to DO. also i felt slightly better today so i tried to like gung ho do stuff and honestly im exhausted from doing like two things :(((( AND i have to be at stupid fucking work at 8 am tomorrow DDDDDD:

#yes i am WHINING but i literally had THINGS to DO #i have like three major sewing project to try and get done in uh. seven days. and im still sick. and im working everyday this week #also my paycheck is a good almost $300 less than it should've been bc i was SICK for a WEEK #im genuinely like. angry. #also had to fucking bribe one of my coworkers to fucking go in to work to cover my shift #bc he was like. oh yeah i know i literally promised you less than 12 hours ago to go in but now i like. don't wanna. im tired #FUCK OFF??? #im so annoyed im like that's not how any of this works. and this was like. less than an hour before the shift started he was like #well i don't like. want to #and im like cool. great. super cool. #*mentally adds u to my list of entirely unreliable people* #sorry for tag rambling i just feel like garbage #i missed seeing nightvale live because i was sick #this was the first week were i was supposed to have like loads of time and do some fun things and get some stuff done that i had had in lik #over a month? #so i was. excited. for naught. #anyway uhhh bite kill bite bite bite kill

[adhbabey]

Im sorry but never. Never imply that people openly identifying mental illnesses or disabilities is appropriating them in some way. Are you fucking kidding me? That's the most ableist take I've ever heard. Yeah, I guess to you that being disabled is only reserved for the most clearly disabled people, that anyone who doesn't fit the appearance of disability is somehow co-opting disability.

Fuck you. Fuck that. I'm saying this as someone who's always been disabled, living life with a mainly invisible disability. I didn't have too much needs because I was traumatized into not asking for help.

Don't you dare ever think this is a fad or a game or a joke. I hope you step on a million legos or choke on them, if you ever spew this shit again.

Repeat after me, it's a good thing that people are being open about disability and mental illness.

It will always be a good thing. Fuck you if you think people are lying about it. Most disabled people you will ever know are masking. Shut the fuck up if you can't tell.

#babey posts #babey rants #tw ableism mention #im sick and tired of this #i will strangle you to death with my bare hands #don't fucking say this garbage ass shit ever #say it with me folks: erasure isn't privilege!

[harrowharkwife]

swear to god if i open a fanfic ONE MORE TIME only to be greeted with an author's note saying "i asked chatgpt to tell me a story about-" i am going to go fucking NUCLEAR

#it's NEVER tagged!!! #i am so sick and FUCKING tired of hearing about chat bot shit. it's irresponsible tech that is only gonna help spread misinformation #/be used as a tool by corporate America to crank out shitty computer generated content #bc anything is better than having to hire people and pay them what they're worth am i right guys! #my job won't shut up about chatgpt i don't wanna have to see this shit on AO3 dot gov! please! is anything sacred! #I've already started running into endless variations of the same regurgitated paraphrased clearly AI-written garbage misinformation article #half of the time whenever i try to google something! i just keep getting AI generated garbage instead of any actual helpful information #side note: is Google like... super fucking broken for anyone else in terms of 'i can't find any useful information about anything anymore'? #or is it just me? #but AUGH. tech bros will be our downfall i swear to god #keep the AI shit out of art and creative endeavors it's a slippery slope and it's not leading anywhere good #this is fucking nfts all over again #or at LEAST if you're gonna be posting chat gpt prompts to ao3 fucking TAG THEM AS SUCH #I'm at the point where i hear someone say AI or chatgpt in an excited tone of voice #and i just consider it an immediate red flag #I'll delete this later it's unnecessarily cunty and i realize that but my GOD im sick of it #is it not enough that all of these writing bots are training on ao3 fics without the authors consent or permission? #now we have to encourage it by putting AI shit on there to begin with?

[attex]

can someone on this bitch of an earth make a pixiv tag filter/blocker/muter add on for FIREFOX please im going to lose my fucking mind

#hexatxt #ITS DRIVING ME INSANE. ITS DRIVING ME INSANE THERES ONE FOR CHROME BUT NOT FIREFOX #AND CUSTOM USER SCRIPTS FOR DOING SUCH THINGS ARE EITHER OUTDATED OR JUST DONT WORK AT ALL #I HATE THAT PIXIV DOESNT ALLOW YOU TO MUTE MORE THAN ONE (1) FUCKING TAG WITHOUT PAYING #IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING NASTY GARBAGE LET ME FUCKING MUTE THE TAGS I WANT YOU BITCH

[senseiwu]

Sooioo close to becoming Evil

#do you wanna hear about how much i hate YOUR favourite characters stranger on the internet????? #do you wanna know what its like to see your favourite characters tag filled with swful garbage???? talking abiut how they should die and #twisting facts to make their loved ones hate them????? #insulting people who like them???????? #im so sick and tired of this #its the life is strange fandom all over again

[themightythornicus]

I’m just going to have to start making my own clothes

#woof #trying to find clothes that aren’t garbage and that are made with natural fibers and that fit me and that aren’t egregiously expensive #it’s impossible #damn my proportions #im just so sick of everything having spandex and plastic in it #and im tired of having to wear a million layers in the cold months #but I also don’t want to look like a boring ass gorpcore dweeb #so I’ll make practical clothes that look so fucking cool #and that will keep me warm

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

#'consider things before you do them.' #SERIOUSLY #that fucking just makes my heart stab #I'm constantly thinking that's why I'm not even living I'm just playing a painful game of chess mentality 24/7 #why does he have to be so mean???! #why does everyone get to talk to me like im garbage but the MINUTE I would say a word I'd be wrong and the fucking bad guy #I wish I was ducking dead I can't believe this #I hate the fact that the only reason I have for not killing myself if just fear of what would happen if I FAIL #im not even afraid of dying im just afraid of MY OWN FAMILY #fuck. #there's literally no point to me existing #I hate that every day I just #fuck #I don't know if any days go by where I don't wanna milk myself #I feel sick to my stomach I hate myself so much why can't I just fucking do things #why can't I do anything right #im always fucking uo somehow I can't take it anymore im im so much pain #im tired of being sad and wanting to die all the time I hate this stupid stupid body I just wanna be dead #I can't ducking take it anymore im going insane #I wanna die so bad why can't God just kill me I beg and pray so much #I don't want my family to be mad at me #but I need to fucking go and escape and die I can't take this #why am o such a fucking idiot no matter what I do nothing is right im sosososo owed and sad and sucideal and I just wanna be done #what is the the point of all I do is fuck yo #im just a stupid fuck ip I can't take the pain anymore

[im-not-using-a-main-for-this]

Tw: suicidal ideation and sick animals

So I have chickens they’re still chicks

I have 10, 4 Bielefelders, 3 bantam Orpingtons, 2 Silkies, and 1 Polish

Only four of them have names

One of the Bielefelders is named Crybaby, it may or may not be a permanent name as I might not be able to discern her from the rest once she grows up

One of the Silkies is named Fried Rice, the other is George I also call them Georgie

And the Polish is named Gus

The entire flock is sick

Crybaby is sneezing nonstop

One of the Bielefelders is wheezing

And the rest have been sneezing with less frequency

We have antibiotics coming

But this is so not good for my mental health

I feel like shit

I want to die

I constantly feel panicked

I want to die

I can’t breath

It’s like fucking 81 degrees in here

I hate being sweaty

I’m tired

I want to die

We have antibiotics coming

I feel like shit

I want to die

#vent #vent post #baby chicks #tw sui ideation #sick animal #i’m fucking scared #i’m fucking exhausted #im so tired #im tired #I’m sad and tired #i feel like garbage #i want to disappear #why now #mentally exhausted #mental problems #mental illness #i'm so fucking tired #panicking #i’m panicking #tw sick animal

[reserwrekt]

Poor people are allowed to buy things that make them feel good. There's no reason to make someone already struggling, feel fucking guilty for enjoying a steak or something is2g

#im buying some sushi fuck you #i am so beyond tired of eating garbage that im dying for something fresh something protein that wont #fuck my stomach up im buying some veggies too bc im tired of EATING THINGS THAT FUCK MY STOMACH UP #I SHOULDN'T BE LIVING OFF OF PASTA SIDES FOR THE PAST WEEK MY STOMACH HURTS #I WANT TO CRY BC MY CATS FOOD HAS NEARLY DOUBLED IN PRICE AND SHES DIABETIC SO I CAN'T CHANGE IT #will the sushi put me in red probably but again im kind of literally starving bc so many food issues and sensitivities #im bitter about it #im bitter im shitting blood and only eat rice and processed shit im not digesting half of it #this is also coming about because i saw a video of someone being harassed for buying steak with food stamp on like 2016 #and i still get scared to buy things with food stamp i mean it's like worse than 2016 so yeah #i don't want my shpt shopper to drag my food through the dirt first or something worse lol #but it's something i worry about #i haven't bought any new clothes or makeup on three fucking years. let me have some decent quality food #I'm tired of the rotten shit left behind from our stripped naked store its consistently been out of everything since this all began #kroger food prices are a fucking joke things literally costing 3xs as much as meijer #target has no fresh meat or produce and that's all our choices unless you pay more to order from the butcher #well we getting butcher food today because again I'm almost certain the food from meijer is making me sick it always looks gross and sus

[wndrbcy]

Its rough for me dude. Covid is a monster.

#obviously #but I’ve never had it before I thought it would be like most colds #I cant sleep i wake up twice an hour just in coughing fits #the vomit I had yesterday #my appetite is in the garbag #medicine only helps a little #i cant go ti work until thursday earliest but even still I feel so exhausted and #like I want to cry I’ve never been sick like this before #im just pissed bc im so late to it and like im so stupid for thinking I would never get it #im just fucking out of it bc im tired and sick #I want to write but im very lethargic

[deep-sea-horror]

its so funny to me how every single time i want to do something different with the cooking everyone freaks out

#they act like i wanna throw garbage into the pot its so. #but somehow im the worst cook because i want to try different things. im not pulling things out of my ass here????????? im looking at #recipes its not like im inventing shit???????? #the most basic fucking shit! #oh no chicken in the oven! the horrors!!!!!!!!!!! #i am so sick of it sdjhfkdhkfhdldj #i swear to god we eat like the same 5 things every week im tired of it oh my god i need to move out so bad #how is it that my sister is the one that took the culinary class and passed it and yet... #like huh they really taught you jack shit in there

[vobocaloid]

still sick after nearly two weeks and my favourite new symptom is unbelievably bad headache on one side of my fucking head right behind my eye and can only be mildly resolved with pressure while i wait for the motrin to kick in

#vobocaloid op #My vision in this eye has become garbage #despite being persistently ill i still havent called to make a doctors appointment bc i wake up too late bc always tired and sleeps all day #i need to see him and actually figure oyt why im sick bc i miss going to school and my homework definetly seems to be piling up

[scretladyspider]

please don’t scroll; I really need your help to reach my gofundme goal of $3500 and not become homeless.

Im Elle, a queer, ace, disabled person with ADHD, depression, and two cats. In November, I lost my job without warning. I have no savings as the job already had me living to the last dollar of every paycheck. I was denied unemployment and food stamps. I cannot work away from home, a physical job, or something with strict hours due to some yet-to-be-diagnosed illness.

this is my story — what’s going on & how I got here. (Smaller text used because it’s a lot of information/a long post.)

In early 2018, I was doing regular walk/runs. In 2019, I stopped being able to run, so I went on walks. Running took hours, then days, to recover from. My body couldn’t produce energy to do it consistently, so, walks. In 2020, I kept going on walks and tried to do aerobics. I was not able to keep doing aerobics. My body took hours upon hours to recover, where before it hadn’t, I was alone for almost all of 2020, and never developed COVID symptoms; it was what happened with running all over again. In 2021, it started to take more time to recover from walks. Then I started to need to take a nap immediately after I clocked out from work— and it was a work from home job. In 2022, I began to go from my sitting desk job straight to my bed most days, laying down exhausted right after work, even sleeping through lunch to get some rest.

On New Year's Eve 2023, I spent 30 minutes cleaning, including vacuuming my living room. I had to rest the rest of the day.

In the last five years, I've gone from running to being exhausted for hours by taking my garbage to the curb.

Imagine you were someone who enjoyed recreational exercise. Now imagine doing 1/100th of that and feeling sick for days. Thats me.

There are other symptoms also. More vulnerability to infection and more trouble fighting infection. Shooting, sharp muscle pains in large muscles such as the thigh or forearm, like a pinched nerve, that come and go at random. Pulse rate that skyrockets upon standing, to go back to normal soon after. Stomach inflammation. Inflammation without major swelling. Headaches. Complete inability to tolerate heat, leading to excruciating migraines that only go away with things like cold showers, electrolytes, and hours of rest in the dark with ice. Muscles that literally don't feel like they're getting oxygen. Random rashes. Face flushing. Being much more easily out of breath, yawning over and over, like I can't get air correctly. Weight gain, no matter what I eat or don't eat.

And just being so, so tired.

In summer of 2018, something… stopped working in my body. I felt sick all the time. I had a low, unexplainable fever nearly every day. Shooting nerve pain would wake me up at night. The doctor said I had a cold. But months went by and I didn’t get better. When my blood work and thyroid hormone level was normal, I was referred to a rheumatologist.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after he made me wait 45 minutes, came in and asked “are you tired?", poked me hard, said I was tender, and left without running tests. This sort of “uhm the standard blood work came back normal, have you tried exercising more? I know you’re here because your body can’t recover from it but have you tried more of that? Also going to sleep at night?” has been the response over and over and over for five years. It got to the point where I even started to wonder if I was somehow making it up. I see a psych nurse. She thinks there's more than just depression, ADHD, and other things - though we both agree that managing those is vital too. She used to be a cardiologist, so this is reassuring. But when I have tried to see other doctors, it goes differently. Most of the time they see I have ADHD, a long history of depression, and hypermobile joints, and say that explains everything. I can't count how many times I've been told "well, you have depression” when the labs, if they even agreed to run them, came back normal. My standard blood work sometimes comes back with anemia, but I take an iron supplement. No improvement had come of it. I’ve had my thyroid hormone levels tested over and over, but never the antibodies. No imaging or referrals have happened, outside of one to a second rheumatologist. He ran no tests either; he just saw my joints are hypermobile and I was “sure taking a lot of mental health medications” (two at the time), and… that was that.

I had given up on actually even getting help until my SIL recommended a doctor she knew. For the first time in five years, when the standard blood work and TSH tests were normal, she told me we would keep looking. I actually cried with relief at that. It’s amazing to be believed after all this time.

Because of …. All of this, I'm trying to figure out how to either work for myself or find a work from home job that has flexible hours I can choose. I literally wouldn't be able to work a retail gig where I have to stand for eight hours, or even a 9-5 where I have to be there for those exact hours, because my body cannot do that right now. I want to get better but it's a long way off. First I need to know what's even wrong. I'm praying for a diagnosis soon. And treatment. At the least, management.

I have heard of EDS and I have been evaluated. I apparently don’t meet enough criteria, hence the diagnosis of JHS instead. It’s in the same family. I have also heard of POTS. I am pursuing testing. Same with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, MCAS, fibromyalgia… yeah. The thing is nothing outside of the standard blood count and thyroid hormone level test, no other lab tests have been done. There are so many things this could be that have never been checked. Lyme disease, for example, is extremely common where I live (it’s actually just extremely common worldwide) and matches much of my experience, but 1) in the USA the initial Lyme test relies on a strain of bacteria cultured in the 80s 2) there are over 100 strains of Lyme disease in the USA 3) in spite of decades of research there are doctors who don’t believe chronic Lyme exists 4) no doctor has ever checked and I only recently learned anything about it so I never asked. But… there are a lot of things to check that I’ve never had checked is my point. Fingers crossed someone can help me get there.

I do not have a partner who can try to support me through this, and my family already supports me however they can. My severance (which was low as I found out I was being paid much less than the rest of the team later) paid only my January rent.

Since my ability to work is severely limited right now, and I've been denied unemployment and food stamps, and I would need a diagnosis and to be awarded disability benefits in court (which can take YEARS that I don’t have), I have nothing in savings because of years of underpaying jobs the cost of living and being disabled and going through prior periods of unemployment due to this and other factors, I am left in a tough spot without help. Without this help, this gofundme... I have nothing.

So... here I am. A queer nonbinary disabled neurodivergent writer, trying my best, living with some undiagnosed illness that's severely impacted my ability to function, who got fired without real reasons (in America they can just do that to you without even telling you why), asking for your help to pay my February rent and January bills so I don’t repeat the trauma of being homeless. Or for you to reblog this.

Thank you for reading all of this.

It’s been on my chest for a long time. Even if it wasn’t for the gofundme, it feels good to talk about and be honest about my health. It reminds me you’re not supposed to feel like this all the time when I tell other people and they tell me I should get help and deserve answers. It’s reassuring to see competent doctors who finally believe me. I hope we figure it out.

no donation is too small— they add up. If just 100 people gave $35, the goal would be met. Sharing is also giving— it means someone who can help is more likely to see it.

You can also help via my venmo — secretladyspider

CashApp — secretladyspider

or find PayPal in my tip jar in my linktree

Goal is $3500 or over. Funds needed ASAP. If it goes over, that’ll help with February.

Thank you for anything and everything.

#queer #disability #chronic illness #chronic pain #mental health #medical gaslighting #fired in America #neurodivergent #ADHD #fibromyalgia #chronically ill #undiagnosed chronic illness #undiagnosed chronic pain #american healthcare #american health system #homelessness #text #gofundme #crowdsourcing #crowdfunding #lgbtqia

[sourbinnie]

Hi omg I just came across ur page, I loved your recent it was so cute & now I’m dying for more comfort Hyunjin.

Can I request reader being on her period so she’s rlly irritable and then Hyunjin comes home saying he has a stomach ache and she thinks he’s just joking around so she just ignores him but then later realizes he’s being serious when he doesn’t eat dinner n feels sick so she feels bad and takes care of him.

title -> misinterpreted pair -> hyunjin x fem!reader genre -> hurt/comfort + fluff warnings -> mentions of periods + mentions of food + cursing a/n: yall i think im a sucker for hurt/comfort jinnie, thank you for you request! <3 it came out shorter than i expected but i still hope you like it ¡! :(

as if the day couldn't get more annoying, periods happen. ok, it's not like i had a lot on my plate but there's no worse sensation than your uterus kicking you like you deserve it. it was painful, annoying and overall made me feel like complete garbage. i carried through work like i could, continuing with my day like i wasn't suffering every step of the way. getting home was a task too but i managed through it and decided to throw myself on the bed, trying every single position to see if it would make the pain go away. 

i know i wasn't the easiest to deal with when i was like this but i was hoping hyunjin would understand. 

speaking of him, he was just about to come in through the door every minute now and the things that i usually get ready for him, are not there. like i said, i hope he understands that it's not my best day and he can get them on his own. i know practice must've been a lot and i truly wish he would take care of himself better.

"(y/n)?" i hear my name being called out and i don't even have the strength to get up. feels like the weight is pulling me down again. i manage to do so in a few tries but everything still spins and hurts around me. "missed you baby." he says when he sees me and gives me a hug which i have to retract because of the tightness of it all. he looks at me confused which i have to explain.

"i'm on my period and everything sucks right now." i say calmly but dying on the inside. "i'm sorry if i'm gonna be a bitch to you at any moment but right now i just need to rest."

"oh, that's okay i actually had like a stomach ache through the whole day so i get it." and i just sigh 'cause i knew he was messing with me. he always likes to do that and even with the confused look on his face, i wouldn't fall for it at all. i decided to not linger on it and go to our room to get my sweet sleep as much as i wanted to stay and cuddle with my boyfriend, i knew it would only bring pain and uncomfortability.

✉ ✉ ✉ 

getting up and being met by the moon in the night sky was not my plan all along. hyunjin was by my side, he didn't even try to cuddle with me which i thanked for but he looked a little odd. i couldn't place my finger on what it was but i had to get up and make dinner before it was too late. as i tried to concentrate in the cooking and not the pain (again), i tried to place my finger around what was going on with my boyfriend. 

could it be that things didn't go well today? but he didn't look mad or sad. he also didn't say anything about the boys (usually there's one or two comments about felix). maybe he was just tired and didn't need me on top of his business and i was just panicking over nothing.

"babe?" he asked, snapping me out of my thoughts and there was definitely something going on. he looked pale but at the same time it looked like he had a run a marathon with all the sweat and i was starting to see things better. "oh no, jagi i love your cooking but i think i'll pass today."

i placed the dinner on the table and i looked at him. he never passed on my cooking so something 100% was off today and what did i miss? as i got close to him i tried to repeat our conversation today. my hand went directly to his forehead and as everything started to make sense with him burning up, i said.

"fuck you weren't lying, you truly had a stomach ache." i felt like crying right then and there. even if i felt terrible, i still would do anything to take care of hyunjin. it hurt that i put myself first when he was hurting just as much as me. i didn't want to cry though, this was my chance to make it better unless he hated me at this very moment and didn't want me to do anything and-

"you're thinking too much and yes i did or i still do. i don't know, everything's kinda of spinning and i think i might have a fever." he said and i immediately sat him down as i looked for the termometer. thinking of every remedy and healing technique i went through my entire life as i came back and made him open his mouth. 

"i'm sorry jinnie. i should've been more careful and paid more attention to your words." i said and he wanted to say something but i stopped him. "nuh uh no moving! also i'm gonna tell the boys you're not going tomorrow." that's when he also wanted to protest but i took the termometer out and checked. 

"so? do i have a fever?" he said and i nodded as he responded with a sigh. "i can't miss practice when we're learning a new choreo though, babe you know how it is".

"but you also can't practice if you're basically running a fever and feeling dizzy, what if you pass out?" i said and i could see that he was seeing my point. "just let me text chan and then i'll have all the time in the world for you."

"but what if you get sick too?" he pouted and i just smiled because even in the sickness of it all, he still cared about me. he really was the sweetest guy i've ever met.

"if i get sick, i get sick baby, there's nothing bad about it plus i get to spend time with my favorite person." i said laying him on my lap as i messed with his hair and caressed his cheek.

he eventually fell asleep and i just couldn't stop looking at him. i decided to slowly get up without disturbing him, then i would call work and tell them that i would be taking the day off to spend it with my loved one 'cause it's what he deserved.

#skz drabbles #sourbinnie #skz x you #skz scenarios #skz short imagines #skz imagines #stray kids drabbles #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin skz #skz hurt/comfort

[malewifesband]

i am once again begging white queers yes even you white trans person to understand you have enormous amounts of power over all black people yes even the cis and heterosexual ones i am sick and fucking tired of people on here going ohhhh this person is unfairly calling me racist it MUST be because im trans and thats why im being accused of being racist im soooo tired of whisper campaigns spreading lies. and by the way im going to spread every unsubstantiated rumor about the black person who called me racist its not the same bc im white so its not a whisper campaign if i do it

like genuinely fucking genuinely all the garbage within transphobia is the same shit black people have gotten globally, all over the fuckin world, for centuries from degendering to hypersexualization to pedojacketing and false rape and assault accusations all of these are really disturbingly common features of antiblackness both today and historically you need to make a fucking effort to actually learn about antiblackness SPECIFICALLY bc for one thing modern transphobia would hardly exist if it were not for antiblackness!! the myth of the sex binary and its immutability was part--and a large part--of the founding myths to dehumanize black people so that they could be sold into and kept in chattel slavery without making the slavers want to kill themselves for the fucking monstrosity of what they were doing to a person for fucking money. white scientists of the time made up that white people are more sexually binary than black people, while black people are too androgynous, so white people must be more evolved and thus can subjugate black people. and since that wasnt a fact, the borders of gender for white people had to become heavily policed and pathologized to maintain that myth, lest everybody realize what fucking monsters they were for what theyd allowed to happen and actively benefitted from

you need to understand antiblackness to have any hope of every understanding the material conditions of capital and its underpinnings, and frankly if you do not make that effort just kill yourself instead