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#ILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL I SWEAR
whumpering-heights · 1 year
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iwritefandomimagines · 11 months
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I COULD KISS YOU — GREG HOUSE
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masterlist
pairing: greg house x reader
description: when an offhand comment to praise house for helping you diagnose a patient leads to the silent treatment, you’re both forced to confront the feelings that had been lingering unspoken for too long.
warnings: swearing, angst to a teeny bit of fluff, may be a lil ooc as i’m still iffy on fleshing out how i write the house characters but i’m trying <3
author’s note: had this idea and got excited so bashed it out quite quickly while i was motivated af — hopefully you enjoy !!! let me know what you think
“Gregory House, you bloody genius,” you exclaimed, clenching your fists in excitement, unable to stop the words that came flying out next, “I could kiss you!”
You’d been trying to diagnose your patient for nigh on a week now, and with the young boy’s symptoms rapidly progressing and his condition rapidly worsening, House’s diagnostic expertise provided exactly the breakthrough you needed.
You were ecstatic — mentally piecing together just how he had to be correct — and so without another word you practically skipped out of his office to run some tests and reach the certainty needed to treat the boy as soon as possible.
What House had suggested made perfect sense, accounting for every symptom and every adverse reaction to the treatments you had tried so far, and though you usually mocked his tendency to always smugly assume he was right, at present you were immeasurably grateful for his input.
You were disappointed, then, when you rushed to tell him that the young boy was responding incredibly well to the treatment he suggested and he simply gave you his smug “I-told-you-so” smile and rushed away from you.
He didn’t speak to you again for the rest of the day, choosing instead to actually take time to visit his patients rather than deal with encountering you again.
“What did I do to piss House off?” you asked Cameron, Foreman and Chase shyly as you stood near the nurse’s station with them.
They all just eyed you like the answer was obvious, but Chase shrugged, “When has anyone ever needed to actually do something to piss him off?”
“No, he won’t even talk to me right now,” you frowned, brows furrowed, “It’s weird. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong since this morning.”
The group all looked between eachother, as though deciding who would be the one to have to tell you the honest truth.
“Probably something to do with your little ‘I could kiss you’,” Chase replied, doing a terrible impersonation of you and batting his eyelids flirtatiously as he quoted you, “He didn’t seem to like that very much.”
Your mouth was parted in confusion, “Firstly, I do not sound like that. But secondly, why would he give me the silent treatment for that? Is the idea of kissing me that repulsive?”
Cameron scoffed, rolling her eyes, “You’re both as oblivious as each other, Y/N… He’s ignoring you for literally the opposite reason.”
You shook your head in disbelief.
Was she seriously trying to tell you that House was ignoring you because he didn’t like you joking about kissing him?
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
“It’s literally painfully obvious, Y/N,” Foreman groaned, “You’ve had this weird sexual tension going on forever and given that he’s usually bad at giving a damn about people, he gets weird about you. And he obviously has feelings for you, so it rubbed him up the wrong way.”
Chase chuckled, “They’re right. He’s only mad at you because you’re the only person he’s never mad at but you hurt the feelings he apparently has.”
You pondered what he was saying for a moment, trying to piece together whether there was any semblance of truth behind their explanation for House’s weird behaviour.
Truth be told, it was the exact kind of petty and ill-fitting behaviour you’d expect from House.
For such a brilliant man, he could be utterly childish at times, especially if he wasn’t getting his way.
Your relationship had always teetered on the edge of professionalism — he was always making flirtatious comments, he always took your suggestions on board more than the others, always sung your praises to your peers and superiors.
Whilst everyone else was certain it was proof of his feelings for you, you had just thought he appreciated that you never pried into his life unless he offered to divulge information himself, and you were excellent at your job.
Of course, you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed your ambiguous relationship, given the crush you had harboured since very early on in your acquaintance. That’s why you always flirted back, always made sure your input was carefully though out, and why you were always singing his praises too.
But it was Greg House — a man who so famously behaved as though he didn’t care about anyone. So of course you didn’t think that things would ever progress past your unprofessional professional relationship.
“Where is he?”
“In his office,” Cameron smiled, “He told me to make sure nobody bothered him, and I think he meant you because he’s still throwing his toys out of the pram.”
You rolled your eyes with a laugh, “God, he’s ridiculous. I’m going to go and talk to him. Or try, anyway. Wish me luck.”
“Is this House we’re talking about?” Dr. James Wilson made an appearance at your side now, his brow quirked in curiosity as he butted into the conversation.
You nodded, “He’s being a baby instead of actually talking to me about why he’s mad.”
You hoped he’d have some kind of more concrete explanation, given that he was the only person House was even remotely honest around.
“He’s hardly an expert at talking about his feelings, is he? Or having them, actually,” Wilson chuckled, “But he’s been grumbling all day. Please do go and speak to him. For my sanity’s sake, if not your relationship’s.”
“Slow down, Wilson,” you scoffed, but though you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself, you couldn’t deny the fluttering in your stomach at any sort of reference to you and House’s potential relationship, “I’m going!”
You entered the room without even knocking, folding your arms over your chest with a stern expression on your features as you strode towards his desk and stood firmly in front of him.
“I’m busy.”
“Busy being petty and ignoring me?”
He looked up now, narrowing his eyes as he realised you were not going to meekly scuttle away like you had done every other time he’d dismissed you today.
“What makes you think that?” sarcasm dripped from his words, “I just so enjoy spending time getting to know my patients and doing paperwork!”
You huffed out a sigh, frustrated by him already trying to dodge the subject, “Greg.”
“Y/N.”
“Greg!”
“Y/N!” he matched your tone just to challenge you, and you scoffed, “Are you really going to be like this?”
“Like what?”
“So deliberately evasive?”
His lips drew together in a thin line as he eyed you carefully, “How’s your little boy from this morning?”
“You are so fucking frustrating, Greg,” you scowled, “Can we have an adult conversation here?”
He appeared to ponder over another joke to make, but apparently for the first time in his life thought better, as he remained silent and waited for you to continue.
“I’ve been so stressed out about that kid, and you helped me to help him massively — he’s likely to be discharged by tomorrow. I was so happy, so relieved, and I said I could kiss you,” you began, avoiding his gaze at first until your final sentence, “And it was a silly offhanded comment about how grateful I was, but at the same time I honestly could’ve kissed you because I quite honestly want to a lot of the time.”
Oh my God — you’d stunned the Greg House into silence?
Your breathing was jagged, “I don’t know if you’re just being an ass because you don’t like being on the other end of jokes, or if the team actually aren’t just blind hopeless romantics and you actually care about me. But I just wish you’d talk to me instead of doing all this and making me feel like you don’t care at all.”
He pulled himself up onto his feet, grabbing his cane to lean on as he inched closer to you.
“It’s a bit of both,” his voice was low, and you were sure that if you didn’t know him better you might believe him to be shy about telling you the truth, “I’m not good at caring, and I don’t usually like caring, but I guess I do. Sue me!”
You took another step forward, so that you were so close you were breathing right in each other’s faces.
You were trying to be brave and command the conversation, but your stomach was doing backflips as it dawned on you that what he meant was that he really did feel the same about you.
“Why would you go silent on me then instead of talking to me about it?” you bit your lip as you spoke, and caught notice of how his eyes trailed to your lips as you did so.
He swallowed thickly, “Didn’t feel right to. Hardly professional, is it?”
“Oh, because you’re the picture of professionalism usually aren’t you?” you laughed dryly.
“Point taken,” he shrugged, “Maybe I was little scared. And we’ve got a good thing going, it’s a risk pushing things any further.”
You weren’t happy with that, not when this was Greg House — king of taking risks and breaking rules — and you were certain that it was a risk worth taking anyway.
“When has risk ever stopped you?” you asked, whispering now as your eyes darted between his and his lips whilst he mirrored your behaviour.
“Point also taken,” he mumbled, before finally taking the plunge and bringing his lips to yours in a heated kiss that you leaned into immediately.
He quickly leaned back to sit on the edge of his desk, his hands finding your waist as he pulled you to stand between his parted legs.
You pulled back, suddenly aware that anyone could come in at this moment and see you — and whilst the biggest risk here really was endless teasing from the team or a scolding from Cuddy, you did still have some things to discuss too.
You didn’t want to ruin the moment, overcome with giddiness at what had just happened, but you wanted to make your feelings clear; Even if it was to a man who would probably make a jokey remark and underplay his own feelings.
“I don’t know your relationship history, and I don’t care to,” you shrugged, moving your hands to your hips but hardly moving away from him, “Well, I’m not rushing to. I can assume it’s not great, but I just want to take every day as it comes and see where things go because mine isn’t great either. I’m not gonna hurt you, Greg.”
The sincerity in his eyes as he gazed up at you made your heart melt, and you could tell that somehow, some way, you had gotten through to him.
“Don’t make promises you can’t be certain that you’ll keep, Y/N,” he mumbled, before shaking off his own words and standing back up to stare into your eyes intently, “But fine. Because it’s you, I’m willing to try. Provided there’s more of this,” he kissed you again before continuing, “And less of them ogling and concocting their little romantic stories about the lovely doctor Y/N and her damaged old fool.”
You turned around to see the entire team peering through the window, all smiles and whispered chatter at the sight before them.
You raised your middle finger to them, turning back to look at House and stepping back a little from him.
“Unfortunately, those nosey fuckers are not going anywhere,” you rolled your eyes, “If you’re willing to try then we’re going for dinner. Tonight. And we’re going to have a good time, and not talk about this place or about anything you don’t want to.”
He nodded, “I’ll pretend I’m not furious you’ve robbed me of making the grand romantic gesture of being the one to ask,” he cocked his head as he joked, truthfully very much pleased you were the one to ask and confirm that your interest in him was genuine, “But sounds good to me. I’ll wear my nicest tux, eh.”
“Yeah, yeah, ha ha,” you hummed, “Now I’ve got a living patient to go and visit thanks to you. Enjoy your afternoon with that lot,” you gestured to your friends, who were all still stood there watching you, “Good luck. Oh, and pick somewhere to book for us to eat. That can be your grand romantic gesture, hm.”
“Gee, thanks,” he laughed, shaking his head, “I’ll see you later.”
“See you later,” you grinned, swanning out of his office with the biggest smile possible painting your features.
You nudged past your friends as they watched you walk down the corridor, happier than they had probably ever seen you in the time that you’d known them.
They immediately filed into House’s office when you were out of sight, and his head fell back in irritation for a moment despite the smile still gracing his lips.
“Things went well, then?”
“Go away,” he replied, “I’m in a good mood for once, and you idiots aren’t going to ruin that, alright?”
“Woah, okay,” Foreman laughed, “Who are you and what has Y/N done with Greg House?”
———
thanks for reading !!! i hope enjoyed and this wasn’t too ooc lol. let me know what you though pleaaase & if you’d like — feel free to request!
in the meantime, here is my masterlist!
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spideysbruh · 3 months
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Simps
simp things
tchalamet posted a story!
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caption- 🔥🔥🔥❤️
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liked by tchalamet, yourfriend, rachelzegler and 987,727 others
y/n new year, same me. so grateful for everyone and everything I have in my life.
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tchalamet my pretty girl. I swear you get more and more beautiful every day
y/n liked
ynssocks bro I'm so jealous of her life istg it looks so fun plus she's dating the worlds most handsome man also she's so pretty
timmysgf still don't get this relationship, he can do so much better, she's so average
yourfriend I LOVE YOU I MISS YOU
y/n I miss you more ill ft you in a bit
dunesyn HAPPY NEW YEAR MY QUEEN
goodgirltim "same me" maybe you SHOULD change girl... ugly attitude
ynscurtains she literally said she's grateful omg
@y/n tweeted- has everybody seen wonka ?? ain't it the best movie ever ?!!! I love my man 🫶🫶
@ynonfilm replied- we get it, youre happy! stop showing off 😔 (but yes I saw it it's great)
@y/n replied- 💀💀💀💀 (yes i agree so whimsical and full of life)
@ynswonka replied- y/n is so supportive i love her
@y/n replied- hard to NOT be supportive he's literally the best!!
~~~
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tchalamet MY BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY GIRL 🎂 🥳 🎉 I love you more than anything and I am so grateful and so so so incredibly lucky to be with you and get to know you forever. I love how hard you laugh at my jokes, even when they're not that funny, how you sing in the shower (pretty well may I add), how you adorably snore in your sleep after a long day. I could go on and on forever, happy birthday, my love.
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y/n THANK YOU BABY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❤️❤️
tchalamet liked
y/n how did i get so lucky timmy 🥺
tchalamet liked
florencepugh THE BIRTHDAY QUEENNNN
zendaya such a simp (jkjk I love you guys happy birthday y/n)
y/n and tchalamet liked
y/n it's exactly how I like my men
tchalamet it's also how I like my women ... 👀
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y/n we're soooo into nature
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tchalamet PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
y/n who taught you this I cant
ynstan probably you 💀
y/n .... yeah
tchalamet liked
ynslipgloss she's so ethereal omg
rachelzegler yall are too cute
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harkonenyn my parents!!!
ynandtimstan yall ate
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tchalamet I meannnn I MEANNNNN
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sabrinacarpenter yall are making me feel even lonelier stop !!!
y/n you're so cute 😭😭🫶
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tchalamet my princess
*
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somber-sapphic · 9 months
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Prompt List!
Hi :) Here is a fancy new updated version of my prompt list! I switched out most of them, but you're sure to find a few repeats. The old ones are linked here and you can choose off of that list as well if you wish!
《 Requests! 》 ︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽
〘Sickie Dialogue〙
"I don't feel so great..."
"Could you pass me a tissue, please?"
"I think I might have a fever."
"I can't believe I caught this cold at the worst possible time."
"I'm trying to stay strong, but it's getting harder."
"My head is pounding."
"I wish this illness would just go away already."
"I'm so tired, even just talking feels like an effort."
"I don't want to be a bother, but I need help.”
"I can't taste anything. This is the worst."
"I'll be fine; it's just a minor bug."
"I'm sorry if I seem distant. It's just the fever taking a toll on me."
"I feel like I've been hit by a truck."
"I'm not sure how much longer I can tough it out."
"My throat is so sore; I can barely swallow."
"I keep shivering. Can you pass me a blanket?"
"I'm coughing so much, it's starting to hurt."
"I hate feeling so weak and helpless."
"I wish I could join everyone, but I don't want to get them sick."
"I don't want anyone to worry about me."
"I know I need to rest, but there's so much to do."
"It feels like I've been like this forever."
"I can't believe how much my body aches."
"I'm really grateful for your company. It helps distract me from feeling awful."
"I'm just going to close my eyes for a bit..."
"I think I need to lie down for a while."
"This headache is killing me..."
"I can't believe I let myself get this sick."
"I'm feeling really dizzy.”
"I don't have the energy to do anything right now."
"I'm trying to stay positive, but it's tough."
"I just want to feel better already."
"Could you hand me the thermometer? I want to check my temperature."
"I've never felt this awful before."
"I feel like I'm burning up."
"I can't stop sneezing."
"I should have taken better care of myself."
"I'm worried it might be more than just a simple cold."
"I wish I had someone to take care of me.
"I'm feeling really weak and achy."
"I hate that I'm missing out on all the fun because of this."
"I can't even focus on anything with this headache."
"I never appreciated being healthy until now."
"I'm trying to drink lots of fluids to stay hydrated."
"I just want to sleep and forget about everything for a while."
"I'm scared it might be something serious."
"I'm tired of coughing."
"I'm fine, really. It's just a little cold."
"I think I caught something. My head is pounding."
"I don't want to be a burden..."
"I'm so cold..."
"I can still go on the mission."
"I don't want anyone to see me like this."
"Sorry, I can't stop sneezing."
"Thanks for taking care of me."
"I don't want to spread this to anyone else."
"I hate feeling so helpless."
 "I don't need your pity."
"I don't remember the last time I felt this awful."
"I wish I could be out there, helping everyone."
"Why does it have to be so cold?"
“Can you just…hug me?”
 “Don’t leave, please.”
 “I swear I wasn’t this sick this morning.”
 “Yes, I took medicine.”
 “You’re sure I’m sick?  ‘Cause I feel fine.”
 “I really cannot be sick right now.”
 “Everyone gets colds.  I’ll live.”
 “I really hope this is just my allergies.”
 “Stop thinking so loud; my head hurts.”
"I'm scared."
"I can't even talk properly."
 "I feel like I'm letting everyone down."
"You're making a big deal out of nothing."
"I'm so tired..."
"I'm sorry for getting you involved in this mess."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you..."
"I hate being sick. It's so frustrating."
"I can't seem to get warm..."
"I feel terrible for canceling our plans."
"I just want this to be over..."
"Thanks for taking care of me."
"I don't want to burden anyone.”
"I feel useless like this."
"I sound terrible, don't I?"
"I'm sorry if I'm being difficult..."
“Can you just…hug me?”
 “Don’t leave, please.”
 “I swear I wasn’t this sick this morning.”
 “Yes, I took medicine.”
 “You’re sure I’m sick?  ‘Cause I feel fine.”
 “I really cannot be sick right now.”
 “Everyone gets colds.  I’ll live.”
 “I really hope this is just my allergies.”
 “Stop thinking so loud; my head hurts.”
〘Types of Sickie〙
99.9% Immunity - they never get sick, right? Wrong. 
Elephant in the Room - they’re sick, but for some reason, perhaps rank or personality, no one is talking about it. Until it gets bad.
Heroes Don’t Take Sick Days - there’s no time to rest when you have to save the world, so sickie has to push themselves even when miserable. 
Insult to Injury - as if being injured wasn’t enough, now they’re getting sick too. 
Ill Timed - it is the worst possible time for them to be sick, but their body didn’t get the memo. 
Irreplaceable - they are the leader or the boss and aren’t able to take personal time off, even when they’re sick.
It’s Nothing - they insist they’re fine, right up until they collapse. 
Medic Down - How do the other characters handle it when their usual caretaker is sick?
Milking It - if they’re sick, they’re at least going to get as much pampering out of it as they can. 
Not a Word - sickie said they don’t get sick and isn’t in the mood for anyone to remind them while they recover. 
Stepping Up - boss/leader is clearly miserable, so the others go out of their way to take as much of their workload as possible. 
Suffer in Silence - for whatever reason, they don’t want anyone to know they’re sick and do everything they can to hide it.
Team Mom/Dad - the typical team Mom/Dad gets sick, leaving the others to scramble to take care of them.
〘Sickie Scenarios〙
🥀Feeling so out of it, they need constant attention.
🌹Barefoot sleeping wanderings. 
🪷Being let back to bed with patient whispers. 
🌷Collapsing into someone’s waiting arms. 
🌻Forehead kisses
🌼Being picked up 
🌸Being called things like baby, sweetheart or honey
🌺Shaky hands
💐 Waking up either adorably confused or painfully scared
🌾Comfort after a nightmare
🪴Medicine
🍀Nap
☘️Hand holding 
🌿Lullaby
🌴Reaching out for someone 
🌳Bath
🐍Thermometer
🌵Fingers running through sweaty hair
〘Caretaker Dialogue〙
"No, you're not fine. You're burning up.”
"You need to rest. I'll stay here with you until you feel better."
“Just let me take care of you."
"Here, take my blanket.”
“I’ll make some tea”
“You're in no condition to go anywhere.”
“Just rest and let your body fight this off."
“Take this medicine, please."
"I'm here now”
"Right now, the only person you need to help is yourself.”
“Let me hold you.”
“Save your energy.”
“Let me fuss over you."
"You just focus on resting, I'll take care of everything else."
"Let me make you some soup, it'll help soothe your throat."
"Don't worry, I'll handle all your responsibilities while you recover."
"Is there anything specific you need? I'll go get it for you."
"Here's a warm blanket to keep you cozy."
"I brought your favorite book/movie to help pass the time."
"I'll stay by your side until you're feeling better."
"Would you like some tea or hot water with honey?"
"You need to take these medications at the specified times. I'll set up reminders for you."
"Don't push yourself too hard; your health is the top priority."
"I'll run errands for you so you can rest without worrying about anything."
"How about I read to you or play some soothing music?"
"If you need anything during the night, just call, and I'll be here."
"I made you a get-well card. It's silly, but I hope it makes you smile.”
"You're not alone,"
"I'll keep the room warm for you. You don't need to get up."
"Let's open the window for some fresh air, but I'll keep you wrapped up warmly."
"How about we watch your favorite TV show together?"
"Remember to drink plenty of water. I'll keep a glass on the side table."
"You don't have to thank me; it's what friends/family do for each other."
"I'll handle the phone calls and messages for you, so you can focus on resting."
"Tell me if you're feeling uncomfortable, and I'll do my best to fix it."
"I brought you some flowers to brighten up your room."
"I'll fluff up your pillows to make you more comfortable."
"Lean on me if you need to get up; I'll support you."
"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything."
"Let me make you something to eat. You need to keep up your strength."
"You should rest; I'll handle everything else.”
"Here, take this medicine. It'll help you feel better."
"I brought you some tea to soothe your throat."
"Lean on me; I'll support you as you walk."
"You're not alone; I'm here for you."
"I'll keep you warm with an extra blanket."
"How about I read you a story to help you relax?"
"Let's watch your favorite movie."
"You don't have to worry about a thing; I've got it all under control."
"You should try to sleep; I'll keep an eye on you."
"I'll keep track of your medication schedule so you don't forget."
"Tell me if you need anything, and I'll get it for you."
"I made some soup for you. It's supposed to be good for healing."
"You should stay in bed and let me handle everything else."
"I'll handle all the chores; you just focus on getting better."
"I brought a few books; let me know if you want to read any."
"I'm here if you want to talk or just need someone to listen."
"I'll keep you company so you won't feel alone."
"I'll make sure the room is quiet so you can rest."
"I'm here to take care of you, no matter what."
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adoremexxs · 8 months
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Rui and Zohakuten Friendship Headcanons!
This is probably going to be so long because I love Rui and Zohakuten
Warnings: mention of kidnapping (it’s not angst i promise), mention of drugs (it’s not angst i swear)
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To say that Zohakuten gets jealous of Rui’s other friends is an understatement
He HATES when Rui isn’t paying attention to him and him only
So best believe when Rui goes and talks to Senjuro, dragging Zoha along, he is glaring the entire time at Senjuro
Senjuro is intimidated by Zohakuten
He hates him because he’s a “rebel” and a “bad influence” on Rui
Rui does not give a shit
Rui comes from a wealthy family (Muzan being his adoptive father)
He’s really sick so he constantly goes to the doctors
Zohakuten hates these days where Rui is gone because he’s by himself
Not that he minds being alone, he just misses Rui’s company and watching him play cats cradle
Muzan didn’t care for Zohakuten when he first met him
But then he saw how careful and nice he was to Rui
Like carrying Rui’s medicine for him or pestering him over being careful
He started to be nicer to him
Zohakuten feels like he needs to protect Rui
He’s ill and sick people, in his mind, need protecting at all costs and he makes sure that Rui isn’t out of his sight
Zoha HATES when Rui comes over to his place
Zoha and his brothers aren’t as wealthy as Rui’s family so they live in the rundown part of town
A lot of gang violence happens in their neighborhood
Zohakuten basically runs it
No one messes with him, he has quite the reputation
And then…his brothers are embarrassing
They tell Zohakuten to leave the door open all the time and ask if Rui is his boyfriend like no
That’s his bestie and only friend, leave him alone!
Zohakuten shuts the door anyways
All they do is play video games, talk shit and nap
They nap, yes
Usually Rui falls asleep on Zoha’s bed and Zoha just sleeps on the floor so Rui can have the bed
Karaku has definitely snapped a few photos as blackmail
Rui wanted to see Spider verse with Zohakuten so obviously he went
Just to find out that his brothers went as well to spy on him
They are so embarrassing
Zohakuten couldn’t enjoy the movie with Sekido’s eyes glaring into the back of his head
Rui enjoyed it though and wouldn’t stop talking about it
Then they saw Sekido and them
Zoha pushed Rui out of there so fast so he didn’t have to deal with them
Zohakuten has joined Rui on vacation a couple of times
It was nice
They went to Florida and Rui’s sisters wouldn’t leave Zohakuten alone
Until Rui threatened them
Zohakuten has no idea what Rui said to them to this day but he is forever grateful
They snuck off and went to the carnival near by, they almost got kidnapped too but that’s not as important
“Zoha, I want that giant spider plushie.” Rui pointed at this giant black widow spider plushie and it was huge
Zohakuten won that stupid spider for Rui
It costed him like half of his bank account but in the end, it made him happy to see Rui happy
Rui has seen Zoha smile
Rui likes that Zohakuten is so comfortable around him to see him smile and cry once too
And Zohakuten smiled whenever Rui was hugging that stupid overpriced spider plushie
Rui said that one day he wanted to do drugs (just weed) and Zohakuten reprimanded him so hard (Before Rui even knew about Karaku’s incident)
“Drugs will LEGIT kill you, Rui! If you do drugs, I am NEVER talking to you again! No matter how much I care for your pathetic ass!”
Zoha’s words didn’t hurt Rui at all, he knows that Zoha just struggles with showing how he feels and he does it with aggression
Zohakuten has beat up several people for Rui
No one messes with his best friend
He has earned the respect of Muzan for caring and protecting Rui
Him and Muzan will often talk about Rui’s wellbeing
Muzan asking if Rui is happy and Zohakuten confirming that he is
It’s a bit of a bonding moment between the two
Rui’s sisters obsess over Zohakuten
Rui gets mad (jealous) about it
Doesn’t want his sisters to try to date his best friend because in all the rom coms he has read/seen, it never works out and he also doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with Zohakuten
Their school dance came up and Rui had no idea how to dance so Zohakuten taught him
Rui was flustered because he was tripping over his own feet
Zohakuten actually had a lot of patience with Rui
They practiced for an hour until Zohakuten just realized that he taught Rui how to dance the girl’s part so they had to start over
Rui just thought that Zoha wanted to dance more
Zohakuten recently started up kickboxing because he needed a destressor that wasn’t beating the shit out of his drum set and making the neighbors and his brothers mad
Zohakuten is extremely good at it and Rui even comes to his tournaments
Zohakuten also has a really really good singing voice, he rarely sings but “Hard 2 Face Reality” has got him singing his heart out
Rui heard him and caught him singing, he’s memorized by Zoha’s singing
Zohakuten was embarrassed and never wanted to open his mouth again
They act like it never happened
Rui plays cat’s cradle a lot and Zohakuten has tried to make Rui make a cat
Or even better, a dragon
Rui declines any of Zoha’s stupid requests
He’s just afraid of disappointing him somehow
“Rui, PLEASE, look, I used a nice word. PLEASE make a dragon.”
“…no.”
“Rui, make a damn dragon already!”
“…no.”
They rarely argue
But when they do, Zohakuten is just explosive and gets a bit violent
And Rui leaves him by himself or he just lets Zohakuten yell it all out at him, it doesn’t hurt his feelings
Then Zohakuten goes to him and all he does is sit by him
That’s basically his apology
Rui has noticed that Zohakuten has an obsession with hands
He likes examining Rui’s hands and watching the strings (Cat’s cradle) on them slip free
Zohakuten doesn’t understand why he does this either
He’s noticed that Rui has weak and bony hands unlike him
Zohakuten has come to the conclusion that if Rui were to punch something, he would break every bone in his hand
Zohakuten has also concluded that Rui is a vampire because he is so pale and gets sunburnt easily
Zohakuten teaches Rui some words in Spanish
Him and his brothers are Latino and Japanese
They grew up with a mix of both cultures but mainly Japanese
But they knew a lot of Spanish
Rui sometimes makes lunches for Zohakuten because he knows he doesn’t eat sometimes
Zohakuten always gets flustered and red in the face when Rui gives him a lunch
It’s not Rui’s job to make him lunch but yet he does and he feels embarrassed
If anything, he should be making Rui lunches
He clearly doesn’t eat enough! (He does)
Zohakuten doesn’t know how to accept anything from Rui
From friendship charms, to bracelets to necklaces
They have a whole matching friendship outfit
They have worn it out before
Rui made Zohakuten listen to country one time, Zoha didn’t like it (he swears but he secretly does)
The Christmas Incident.
Karaku and Urogi promised Zohakuten he would get a new dragon figure if he dressed up as an elf
Obviously he wasn’t going to do it alone, he got Rui to join him in exchange to watching every single spider man movie ever
So they got dressed up in the stupid elf costumes
And they were Karaku’s helpers because Karaku insisted on dressing up as Santa, Urogi and Sekido were reindeer
There were two rudolph the red nosed reindeer
They accidentally stood under a mistletoe together and a kid saw them
The kid said that they had to kiss now
Zohakuten told the kid it wasn’t a mistletoe and was just a leaf
Rui and Zohakuten were embarrassed about that for weeks
Zohakuten didn’t even get his dragon figure but he did watch all of the spider-man movies with Rui
At least one of them got something good out of it
92 notes · View notes
jqhotchner · 28 days
Text
wildflower
two
derek gently grabs his sisters arm before heading to a private office. he hugs her tightly once he shuts the door. derek couldn’t believe he was actually holding his little sister.
he never thought he’d ever get the chance to! seeing her alive and somewhat well made him feel like all the weight he carried was suddenly being lifted off his shoulders.
derek checks her, seeing if she had any scars, bruises, whatever! he wanted to make sure she had been good.
“derek, im fine!”
derek looks at her once more before kissing the top of her head. “have you eaten? got anything to drink? do you need water? a bath? whatever it is, tell me!”
yn laughs a bit. she’s grateful derek hasn’t changed at all. she missed him the years she had disappeared. it felt great to be back in her big brothers embrace.
“im okay! swear it.”
derek sighs.
“what are you doing here? how’d you find me?”
this time she frowns. she was already dreading telling derek why she suddenly showed up. but knowing her brother, he’d find out someway somehow. coming clean is the best option.
“derek, im—i ran from bill, a while ago. he’s looking for me dee. i—i had to get away from him this time.”
derek blood boils at the mention of that man’s name. he hated that his sister suffered so much at the hands of him.
“what did he do?”
she turns away from him and starts to tear up. she couldn’t even bring herself to say what she’d been through the last few years!
bill had ruined her. not just mentally but physically and sexually. he made her weak, made her feel hopeless. for years she believed no one would ever love her like he did! she believed him.
how could she ever think otherwise? she knew she was at fault for leaving her family, disappearing on them, but he always reminded her they never came looking for her, they allowed her to run off with the man that beats on her despite knowing.
but then she met kim. kim was just like her! she’d been abused and beaten down pretty bad in the past. if it weren’t for her, yn would have continued to believe in bills lies.
yn loved kim like a sister. she took care of her, fed her, got her a job, therapy, anything she needed to finally free herself from bills hands. unfortunately he found them.
when bill came for her he had beaten and tortured her before killing kim right in front of her eyes. she knew then, there was no escaping him. he would find her no matter what. she accepted that for the next three years.
until she found out something that would change her life forever. “two years ago i found out i was pregnant, dee. i—i knew i had to leave when i found out. i wasn’t gonna allow my kid to suffer the same way i had. i wouldn’t do that to him! but bill, he’s looking hard. he—he keeps,” yn chokes.
“what is it, yn?”
“he keeps harming the people that helps me and ollie. he won’t stop until he finally gets me back. he threatened to kill oliver, dee. he threatened to kill my baby boy!” yn cried out.
derek grabs his sister and holds her tightly. he kisses the top of her head and hums. “you know i won’t let that happen, right? i won’t let billy hurt you or oliver, okay?”
yn sniffles and nods her head. “we’ll get you protection! hell you can stay with me!”
yn shakes her head. “he’ll find me there instantly, derek! we need somewhere he’d never check. someone who could protect me and oliver.”
derek thinks before nodding. he kisses the top of her head once more. “why don’t you clean yourself up. ill introduce you to my team after while i talk to my boss, okay?”
yn nods her head. derek escorts her to the restroom, waiting for her to finish before grabbing her and walking her to the bullpen.
“guys, this is yn. my little sister.”
the team eyes widened. they had no clue derek had another sister.
“hi, im jj!”
“emily prentiss,”
“doctor spencer reid.”
yn puts her hand out for him to shake. “actually, i don’t shake hands! germs. it’ll be safer for us to kiss.” spencer states.
yn raises her brows, turning to look at derek. derek rolls his eyes playfully. “im gonna go talk to boss man. you think you could keep my sister company for a few?”
“yeah, sure!” emily pats derek shoulder. derek nods as he heads up the steps and gently knocks on hotch’s door.
“come in.”
derek opened and closed the door behind him. he never got nervous in front of aaron. he didn’t see the need to be. right now, he was sweating bullets. what he was gonna ask him was big! he knew aaron just got a new place when he got a pay raise. it was a pretty decent house. place had five bedrooms and considering aaron lived alone, besides his nine year old son, he had space for his sister and his nephew. plus he knew yn would be protected there whenever aaron wasn’t away. and it was gated, you needed a code to get in. it’s honestly the perfect place for her to hide.
“everything okay? you seemed rattled when that woman came in.”
derek nods. “yeah, everything’s okay. listen, hotch, i know you know more than anyone about me. you probably know i had another sister,”
aaron nods in confirmation.
“she’s—she’s been in an abusive relationship for quite sometime. she ran away with him almost ten years ago and we never seen her again. he’s bad news hotch. he use to terrorize our neighborhood back in the day. pretty sure he even killed a few people. no one’s ever snitched though, afraid of getting iced themselves,”
“is she okay? anything i can do to help?”
“she apparently got out two years back. she’s got a kid with this guy, hotch. he’s looking for her. pretty sure he even killed a few people to get to her, though she’s not directly saying it. he threatened to kill her son!”
aaron looks just as pissed as derek does. derek was like family to hotch, his whole team is! he didn’t like when people messed with his family.
“we’re not suppose to, you know that, but we can look into the case. find everything we need on this guy, derek! we’ll get him.”
derek nods. “i need a big favor.”
“anything.”
“yn needs a place to stay. id say with me but, he’d go looking straight there and i don’t have the same protection you do at yours. i was wondering—”
“she can crash at mine until this is over.”
“really? it’s not too much trouble?”
aaron shakes his head. “it’ll be nice to have company besides jack. plus haven’t had a little boy running around in a while. jack thinks he’s too old to play with his old man.” aaron gives derek a small smile.
“thank you so much, hotch! this means a lot to me. ill—ill let my sister know.”
hotch nods his head before derek leaves, going back to his paperwork.
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when derek told yn the news she sighs in relief. she felt like she and her boy would be safe living with derek’s boss. knowing he lived in a gated community made her feel even better.
derek left work early to be with his sister and meet his nephew. yn had left him in the hands of a woman she worked with. she made sure he was safe before leaving to meet her brother.
“how long have you been in the city?”
yn pulls out a pack of cigarettes before lighting one up. derek gives her a look. she always came down on their mom about her smoking habits.
“not long. maybe two months! i called mom, asked where you were. she told me you’re right here in quantico. thought it was perfect.”
“since when you start smoking?”
yn sighs. “since i ran off. use to be worse! had about three packs a day. now i smoke once every twelve’s hours. trynna quit for ollie.”
“good! need you here for a long time. got ma to quit.”
“no way?! mom?”
derek chuckled. he wraps his arm around his sister shoulder.
“im glad you’re back, yn. i missed you a lot. worried about you all the time.”
yn smiles at her brother.
“i thought about you a lot, dee. you, mom, desi, and sar. especially when i was pregnant with ollie.”
“why didn’t you come find us sooner?”
yn shrugs. “i didn’t think you’d want to see me again. bills words still struck a nerve. that you were all better off without me.”
derek shakes his head. “absolutely not! bills a narcissist asshole! we love you, yn. you gotta know that.”
yn hums. “i know. thanks again for this derek. i don’t know what id do without you.”
“im always here! now let’s go meet my nephew, huh?” derek smiles as yn leads the way into her co-workers building.
37 notes · View notes
kkcauseway · 5 months
Text
Oh Baby P1
The life you've always wanted- Joel x F!reader
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Chapter summary: You and Joel had been actively trying for a baby for a couple of months, you made the decision to finally take the leap and expand your family. You're happy and safe in Jackson surrounded by family, Ellie is thriving and so the only thing missing is a baby. Chapter warnings/content: Tw-morning sickness, talks of previous illnesses. Fluff, Joel being ADORABLE and happy and just ugh (Actually bad how much I love this man I swear.) No use of Y/N. Wordcount: 3.8K A/N: hope you enjoy! This is my favourite series that I’ve ever written. So I hope you love it as much as I’ve loved writing it!!
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You and Joel have been actively trying for a baby for a couple of months, deciding to finally take the leap and expand your family. You’ve lived in Jackson for three years. Maria first brought you here after finding you injured so you could be nursed back to health. Offering you a place to stay once you recovered. Since then you’ve always stuck with her and Tommy and the three of you became very close after a short space of time. That’s how you met Joel, after he and Ellie too finally settled in Jackson. Firstly watching from a distance as he began repairing his relationship with his brother, finding it much harder to get Maria to warm to him, but it happened eventually. Then you two were introduced, and the rest is history. You and Joel have now been together ‘officially’, for just over a year, but have known each other for over two. You fell in love incredibly fast and the idea of a baby, whilst Joel’s petrified, he’s also quite excited.
🩷🤍🩷
It's a sunny morning and you wake early, head resting on Joel’s naked chest, exactly how you'd fallen asleep after he kissed your forehead a final time to say goodnight; your legs intertwined, his arm wrapped around you, hand resting steady on your hip. You lie there for a couple of minutes, your head slightly raising with each rise of Joel’s chest, listening in tune to his heartbeat. You nuzzle into his chest hair, forever grateful for how warm he is, when you suddenly put a hand to your stomach. Something feels different? this morning. Whilst you’re stuck on this thought, your stomach contents suddenly begin to churn, and it doesn’t take long for you to realise it’s not going to settle down. You shoot out of bed, not caring that you’re naked, shoving Joel off you and run into the bathroom. Planting your knees to the floor, as you heave into the toilet bowl. The abrupt getting out of bed, causes Joel to jolt awake; confused. And when he finally fully wakes, enough to take in his surroundings, he can hear you in the bathroom.
Whilst you continue to retch over the toilet seat, emptying your body of the contents of the night before, you can hear Joel shuffling on his bare feet, making his way towards you. He kneels next to you and brings a hand to your back, stroking it in circles. “S’going on Baby?”
After a couple of seconds you’re finally able to take a breath and can rest your head on one of your arms that’s hugging the toilet bowl you moan “I don’t know, woke up feeling weird and now this, man I really hope it’s not the fever Ellie had. Ugh.” You lift your head to rub at your temples.
Two weeks ago, Ellie had come down with some kind of flu, nobody had any idea where it had come from, but she was bed ridden for the first five days. And has only began feeling completely better about three days ago. You stayed with her the most, opting out of patrolling to be there to help her in any way she needed; holding her hair back as she hurled, talking to her, helping her calm down after her crazy, vivid dreams, and keeping her as hydrated as possible, she wouldn’t eat until day 4, but you sure as hell made sure she drank. You wondered if you would catch it, along with everyone else, especially Joel. Joel was petrified of you catching it too, but you had been fine up until now. This mornings shenanigans being the first sign of any symptoms.
Joel reaches his hand round to your forehead and holds it there. “You don’t feel like you have a fever Baby, you might be slightly warm, but nothing like what Ellie was. Maybe it’s just an upset stomach?” He sits there watching you a second, stroking at your back again, hating seeing you so weak and fragile “Cmon Baby, let’s get you back in bed, ready to get back up?”
Just as Joel goes to stand, your breathing speeds up and another wave of nausea hit you. He bunches your hair and holds it back out of your face.
“That’s it, let it all out” Joel begins rubbing circles on your back again. You let out a painful moan, he hates seeing you like this and he knows how much you hate feeling like this. “Better out than in Baby”. He utters reassuringly. It takes time but Joel’s there for you throughout.
You thought it was over, but then again you're retching, only now, your body has nothing left to give, the dry retching scratching your throat agonisingly so. Your eyes won’t stop watering, so you try your best to steady your breathing.
“Ugh, I hate being sick” you whine.
“I know Baby Girl, I know, m’sorry” Joel gets up and grabs a cloth and a glass of water, bringing the cloth to your lips. You take it from him and sit back on your heels, panting as you wipe your mouth. He then offers you the glass, you down the lot.
“Good girl” he praises taking the empty glass from you. “Come on, let’s get you back into bed before y’start to freeze.” Joel helps you to stand, you cuddle into his warm chest as he quickly leans round you to flush the toilet, before carefully helping to guide you back to the bedroom.
"I'm sorry" you mumble as you climb into bed.
"You ain’t got nothing to be sorry for, don't be silly." Joel tucks you back into the bed covers.
"I bet I look a right mess, didn't even get my fuckin' robe." You sigh, embarrassed. He carefully sits on the edge of the bed next to you then.
"No Baby, none of that talk.” He strokes your cheek and you lean into his touch. A subconscious movement. So comfortable, so known. Natural. “Y’know you're still super sexy to me regardless, and that I’ll always help you no matter what it is. Now you get some rest, I’ll find Maria, tell her you can’t help her out at the farm today, I’m sure she’ll understand.”
“N- no Babe, just give me a few minutes to sort myself out, catch my breath properly, I’m sure I’ll be okay to work. I need to work. Babe I promised, I can’t let people down they need me”. You whine, tears threatening release.
“I know you hate letting people down, but this is necessary Baby. You’ll be no help t’anyone when you’re like this. Maria’ll understand, plus it wasn’t a choice, you’re gonna stay in bed, you really aren’t well at all.”
“Okay” you mumble quietly before sighing, you know he’s right of course, you can feel just how bad you are. “Thank you Cowboy.” You squish further into the mattress then.
“Now I’m scheduled on a patrol with Tommy today, back tonight, you gonna be okay alone, or do I need to try find someone to replace me? If you need me here Baby just say, y’know I’ll happily stay. Much rather be with my Girl.”
“I’ll be fine, like you say probably just an upset stomach; I’m just gonna sleep it off if I’m 'not allowed to work'.” You try to look at him with a cheeky grin, but the sickness is still so evident on your face. Pale skin, dark bags under your eyes.
“Yeah” he sighs. “You're staying home today Baby, rest up” he urges kissing your forehead as he strokes your cheek once more.
Joel leaves the house after you practically beg him to leave. He’s so overly concerned for you it made it painful to see him go. Yet all he would do is stress, the patrol will be a good distraction and it means you can just sleep. You love that he cares for you so deeply. Encasing yourself in the sheets, lying on Joel’s pillow to be surrounded by his smell it doesn’t take long for sleep to overcome you. About an hour or so later, you wake to a knock at the front door, you tie your robe round you and make your way to the front door. Noticing you feel much better now, sickness seemingly subsided completely. Hallelujah!
Opening the door Maria’s stood staring at you, her, and Tommy’s two year old son Ted pressed to her hip, sleeping with his head squished into her shoulder, his teddy turtle gripped by his small palm. Worry is written all over Maria's expression. So you’re quick to move out of the way of the door, allowing her entry. Nobody has said anything yet but once the door is shut she breaks the silence.
“Joel says you’re sick, what’s wrong?”
“To be honest I feel much better now, I’m not sure what came over me this morning, must have just been an stomach upset. Maybe something I ate last night? I threw up a couple of times, but I feel fine now, I’m just really stupidly tired.”
“Well, when Joel told me you woke up throwing up and couldn’t work today, I though it must’ve been Ellie's fever. Yet there was another thought in the back of my mind, and I think your symptoms have just confirmed that.”
You look to her puzzled, “confirmed what? Maria what are you talking about?” She just stares at you, as if she wants you to work it out alone. What other thought? Of course she leaves you to think and it suddenly hits you, your period is late, in fact you’ve missed two months now. The first missed month you presumed was because you were stressed due to Ellie’s illness. But two in a row. It must be. Surely? How had this not already crossed your mind?
“Oh my God, Maria! I think I’m pregnant!”
“My thoughts exactly!” she replies smiling. And then she holds out her hand giving you a box; a two pack of twenty-year-old or so pregnancy tests.
“How?”
“I have a mind for these things, you should know that by now. And it’s hardly a secret that you’ve been trying. I’m actually surprised neither you or Joel had that thought cross your mind!”
You laugh. “I think we just didn’t expect it would happen, I dunno, but holy shit, Maria I might be pregnant!”
You both race to the bathroom, Maria waiting outside of the closed door, whilst you do what needs to be done to the tests. With the flush you open the bathroom door, so Maria can enter. It only takes about 30 seconds for the bright red double lines to appear on the first test, you then look to the second, once again seeing the same result.
Squealing you hug Maria, tears in your eyes. “Oh my God, it’s finally happening! Maria, I’m gonna be a Mama! Oh, I can’t believe it!”
“Oh, I’m so happy for you two!”
The noise and the force of the hug causes little Ted to stir and he lets out a quiet whimper. 
"Sorry Teddy Bear, didn't mean to wake you" you whisper.
Maria then begins stroking his head "Shhhh... Go back to sleep Baby it's okay."
And just like that he’s back asleep.
“I can’t believe it Maria, and I can’t wait to tell Joel, he’s gonna be so happy, we’ve both wanted this for so long.” Tears well in your eyes once more.
“You’re gonna have a little baby you!” She exclaims.
“Eeekk! (The scream much quieter than you want it to be, but you don't want to disturb Ted anymore than you already have) "You know what, why don’t you, Tommy and Ted come for dinner tonight, I’ll cook, and can tell everyone. We need to celebrate!”
“That sounds absolutely perfect! We’ve needed some happy news like this round here for a while!” She exclaims.
🩷🤍🩷
When Joel returns home from patrol that evening, you, and Ellie are in the kitchen, Ellie’s sketching at the table, whilst you stir the pasta sauce you’re making.
“Mmm something smells gooood” Joel moans, as he traipses up behind you hugging you. He places delicate kisses at your neck. 
“Hi baby.” You let go of the spoon and turn in Joel’s arms to face him, taking his face in hand and kissing his lips.
“Ughh, gross, do you two have to do that here”. Ellie pretends to gag.
You both turn to look at her.
“Sorry Ellie, but it’s not a crime for a man to miss his girl, thought you’d be used to it by now”. He laughs.
His girl, GOD, you love it when he calls you that.
“It might not be illegal, but it should be yuck, and no I will never get used to it!”
You both laugh in response.
“And if it’s any consolation” Joel releases you and begins walking over to Ellie hugging her from behind, his arms around her shoulders “I missed you too” he gives her playful kisses all over her face -that he knows she hates.  You laugh watching the moment unfold. Ellie squirms from the interaction. “Ewwww gross, get off meee!” she squeaks. Joel eventually backs away laughing as he does. She playfully scowls at him. 
You’re already laughing and it doesn’t take long for Ellie and Joel to join you. Man you love your little family, and the thought of it growing even more makes your heart feel as though it could explode.
Joel turns back to look at you then, noticing the colour’s returned to your cheeks. "Feelin’ better now I take it?"
"Mmm, loads better thank you, I invited Tommy and Maria over for dinner. They’ll be here soon, should be a nice evening" you smile.
”Sounds lovely” Joel agrees. He has no idea.
Turning back to the pot, you suggest Joel and Ellie go and sit in the living room, it won’t be long till Tommy and Maria arrive and you need to make sure everything’s prepped for dinner. They’re too distracting with their teasing ways so you kick them out of the kitchen, they can piss each other off elsewhere. Tonight has to be perfect! You try thinking of the best way to break the news. Devising how, when, where.
🩷
Tommy and Maria soon arrive with little Ted, who’s freshly awake from a nap. He energetically runs straight to his Uncle, who picks him up embracing him. “Hey little man!” “Hi Jo!” You laugh at his pronunciation of Joel's name. You watch the way Joel is with that little boy, it as per usual causes your heart to flutter. And now he’s going to be a dad again; he’s going to do the most amazing job. You secretively place a hand to your stomach stroking slightly. Still flat but so full of happiness, hope.
When dinner is finally plated and served you all sit round the dinner table, Ted playing in the living room with his already full belly, Joel offers to open the bottle of white wine in the centre of the table. All part of your plan. Pouring Maria’s, Tommy’s, his own, and then when he goes to pour for you, (best for last, as he always says) you stop him. “Not for me tonight, thank you.”
Tommy, Ellie, and Joel all look to you shocked; you never say no to a glass of wine.
“No wine? Jeez what’s wrong” Tommy jokingly questions you with a laugh.
Maria elbows him.
“Ouch!”
“What, haven’t you heard?" You quiz their perplexed faces.
All three of them look at you puzzled. You turn to Maria:
"Oh my, my, Maria, I thought it was common knowledge, but obviously not."
Maria laughs in response. Not one hundred percent sure on your plan, but aware of what the outcome is going to be so she plays along.
"Well everyone knows, or well I THOUGHT everyone did, that it’s bad to drink if you’re expecting” you smile.
“Expecting what?” Ellie quickly speaks up. Oblivious.
Joel stands still in his spot, staring at you. “Wha- you mean?”
“Yeah!” You exclaim.
He shoves the bottle of wine onto the table and pulls you out of your chair and into his embrace. Crying and laughing, he grips onto you with so much love. Full of desperation to have you even closer. He kisses you over and over on the lips, before finally pushing you, arms-length away from him, so he can carefully caress your still flat stomach.
Finally, on watching Joel’s actions it computes in Ellies head, “Holyyyy shit!” She stands from her seat. “So, I’m finally gonna be a big sister woAHHHH.”
Joel embraces you once more and turns to Ellie. “Seems that you are kiddo.”
“Congrats!” Ellie walks closer to you, inviting you both into a hug, before getting down on her knees in front of you. She brings her lips right onto your stomach; “Hi baby, about time you came along” she whispers. You laugh wetly at her response.
When you had first started trying for a baby, you'd asked Ellie how she felt about it, because the last thing you wanted was for her to feel pushed aside or replaced. She was elated with the idea, and was just as nervous as you and Joel were for it to happen. So it’s a massive relief for all three of you, that it's a dream, finally being made into a reality.
You stroke a hand into Ellie's hair and smile as you take in the moment. Home, the most wonderful place to be, you don’t think you could be happier than you are right this second. In the arms of the man you love, being embraced by Ellie too as you have Joel's baby, no yours and his baby inside of you. YOUR BABY! IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING!
Ellie finally stands back up, “I’m starving” she groans, walking back over to the table with the goal of wolfing down her food, you and Joel too make your way back over to your seats.
“Congrats to you both!” Tommy shouts across the table.
“Thankyou!” you say in unison.
“Knew it must’ve been something drastic for you be saying no to wine” he cheekily utters.
“Tommy Miller, you cheeky bastard!” You exclaim shaking your head as you laugh.
“Hehe nah I’m only playin, I’m happy for y’all. About time my big brother had some added responsibilities!” He grins.
“Tommy!” Maria scolds at the same time as Joel playfully kicks his shin under the table, causing him to jolt and knee the table.
He turns to look at his brother “I’m only playin’ you know I’m happy for you! You took the piss outa me all the time when we were having Ted even after he was born.” He rubs his knee “You’d done the dad thing before I hadn’t, and you always used that to your advantage. So I think it’s about time I get my own back!”
Joel looks to you shocked.
You sit up straighter in your seat “don’t look at me Miller!” You hold your hands up in surrender “you know exactly what you were doin’ to him!”
He shakes his head “Forever a grudge holder huh baby brother?” He questions playfully focusing back on his brother’s gaze. “Even turnin’ my girl against me?”
He shrugs with a cheeky smile still caked on his face “I am genuinely happy for you both I do mean that. From the bottom of my heart. Plus Ted’s gonna love having a little friend and I for one am not ashamed to admit that I miss the newborn stage! So Uncle Tommy is very much looking forward to newborn snuggles! But to answer your question yes, I’m gonna love every second of watching you sweat over the next 9 months”
You smile at that. Tommy’s cute, but him and his brother are forever in competition, they love each other dearly but love pissing each other off more. This is your family. Your dysfunctional PERFECT family. With the news out, hearts aflutter, emotions high you all begin to eat your meals, chatting any old nonsense. Once the meal is over and the dishes are clean. You offer Tommy and Maria a nightcap. You all sit chatting away, them three on the three seater, Ellie on her stomach on the floor, face hidden within the confines of her sketchbook adding to the conversation every so often , and you’re snuggled on the armchair. Maria, Tommy, and Joel all have a whiskey, whilst you’re stuck with herbal tea. Not that you’d change the reason for that that for the world. Ted is napping upstairs, Joel having worn him out but it’s not long until you hear him stir.
Maria goes to stand, as you move too “I can go?”. You ask her.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah course, best start getting some more practice in anyways, plus, me and Teddy are besties, and I haven’t had a cuddle in AGES!” You moan.
“Baby, he was literally cuddled up to you and fell asleep on you, what like not even an hour ago?” Joel replies laughing.
“Exactly Cowboy, that’s tooooo long without a Teddy cuddle, and seriously they’re the best when he’s still sleepy.”
“Amen. They really are!” Tommy butts in.
“I’ll be back” you wink.
You climb the stairs and walk into yours and Joel’s bedroom where Tommy has set up the travel cot.
“Mama?” he asks sleepily rubbing his eyes.
“Hi Teddy, no not Mama it’s T” you whisper (Ted can’t say aunty, when he tried it came out as T, and well it stuck)
“T!” he almost screams in excitement. His voice laced in sleep. 
“Hi! My bestest boy, you wana come down and see Mama and Daddy?”
“Yeh” he rubs his eyes again and then lifts his arms up for you to grab him.
You lift him with a groan. He’s wearing blue, star pattern footie pyjamas. Once in your arms, he settles quickly into your side, before abruptly raising his head again.
"Oh, Where Tudle!"
"Here, I'll get him for you" You reach into the travel cot and grab his teddy turtle. You give it to him and he smiles as he holds it in both his hands and stretches his arms up "Yay Tudle!"
"You really love turtle don't you Teddy Bear?"
"Yah!" After he and turtle have had their moment, he places it into his one hand and puts the thumb of his other into his mouth. Cuddling once again into your side. He’s always so warm and cuddly. You walk back out of the room and make your way back downstairs.
“There he is!” Tommy shouts.
Ted rather than removing his thumb from his mouth, shouts a muffled but clear enough “Daddy!”
You walk over to Tommy, and he takes Ted off you, sitting him in his lap. You then make your way back over to the armchair.
“Did you have a good sleep bud?” Tommy asks.
“Yeh! An tudle” he holds his turtle up into his dads face.
His mispronunciation of turtle forever making everyone laugh.
“Turtle did too huh?”
“Yeh! An now no sleep.”
“No, you’re awake now bud, you can stay awake till we go home, okay?”
“Kay!”
Tommy then passes Ted to Maria, planting a kiss to the top of his head.
“Hi Mama”
“Hey! You look very sleepy, baby Teddy.” She says wiping the underneath of his eyes. 
“I no sleepy, I awake.”
“Yeah you’re awake now…” she kisses into his hair before adding “Hey Baby, did you say hi to Uncle Joel?” Maria asks pointing to him.
He looks to Joel, “Hi!” big grin on his face.
He really is the sweetest little boy; you can’t help but smile at him and the way Joel acts with him.
“Why hello little man, I heard you and turtle slept real good in our room!” he smiles back at Ted.
“Tudle say fanks”. He holds his turtle up again.
“Well turtle is very welcome, and you tell him he can sleep over any day he wants”.
“Yay!” at this, Ted shimmies out of his mothers grip and runs the short length over to Joel, hugging his legs. Ever since the kid learnt to walk you swear, he’s got faster and faster. Joel grabs him to sit onto his lap and pulls him into a tight embrace. His entire body covering Joel’s chest he lies there comfortably putting his thumb back into his mouth. You don’t know why, but it’s as if your emotions are now on overdrive, pregnancy hormones don’t kick in this early, do they? Well, whether they do or not, you’re crying. They’re happy tears, but you’re crying. You sniffle, slightly louder than you mean to, and everyone’s gaze turns to you, including Ted’s.
Joel quickly takes Ted off his lap and places him on the sofa next to him. He shoots up “Baby what’s wrong?”
“Joel I’m okay I promise” you laugh “It was just a cute moment, and I couldn’t stop the tears, they’re happy tears. Pinky promise”.
"Oh pregnancy hormones, I remember them well" Maria butts in.
“Jesus” he gasps “You had me worried for a second”.
“Well, you know me Miller, like to keep you on your toes” you reply laughing again, but still crying.
The next thing you know, you hear the soft taps of tiny feet padding towards you and then feel a soft pulling on the blanket you have draped over you. “Jo help”, you laugh at the tiny voice, and Joel bends down to scoop Ted up, placing him on your lap.
“T why cwying?”
He cuddles into you.
“I’m okay Teddy baby, I’m just very happy”. You wipe away your remaining tears.
“Happy yay! tudle happy too.” He holds his turtle up once again. You swear he’s the happiest little boy.
“Yeah, I’m happy Teddy bear and I’m very glad to hear turtle is too.”
Ted then persists to ask everyone else in the room if they’re happy. Once it’s concluded that everyone’s happy, especially because Ted is here. (Which he felt very proud in knowing.) You have something very special to tell him.
“Hey, Teddy bear?”
He turns his gaze back to you.
“We have something to tell you”. He looks to Joel, who’s crouched down the side of the armchair, nodding, then back to you.
“It’s very special kiddo!” Joel adds.
Ted nods in response.
“So, Teddy bear, you remember how I told you that before you were born, you were in Mama’s tummy?”
“Yah” he nods turning to look at Maria and points at her. “There” he then looks back at you.
“Yeah, good remembering Baby!” Maria praises him from across the room.
“Well, now there's one in here!” you point to your own tummy.
“A BABY?!”
“Yeah, Teddy bear in T’s tummy” Joel adds.
He grabs you t-shirt and pulls it up, so a bit of your tummy shows “In there?”
“Yeah, in there, good job bud!” Tommy pipes up.
“Ooooo!”
You all laugh for a moment before Ellie pipes up. Coming to kneel next to where Ted’s sitting.
“Hey Ted, you know how I look after you, cus I’m bigger and we play lots and lots of games?”
“Yah!”
“Well, when this baby comes, you will be lots bigger, so you will have to help me to look after them”
“I help, pwomise.”
“Good, high five!”
They high five. And you laugh again, you never thought there would be a point in your life where you would be this happy. Especially with the added ‘end of the world’ element.
“El can draw?”
“You wana draw? Sure, bud come on”, she helps him off the chair and he runs over to her space on the floor. Sitting on the floor crossing his legs.
When Ellie and Ted are out of your space, you take a second to take in your surroundings. Ellie is thriving in Jackson life and dotes just as much as everyone else on precious Ted; She’s going to be the best big sister. Tommy and Maria are cuddled on the sofa laughing. They really are the best people so besotted with one another. And then there’s Joel, the love of your life, the father of your child. You turn to him and find he’s watching you. You look back into his eyes and you both smile. He lifts an arm and rests the palm of his hand on your stomach. You look down as you place your hand atop his, but then lift your gaze back to his eyes. He's smiling so wide. "I love you", he utters softly. "I love you too Cowboy".
Life is good, and it's about to get so much better.
Next I Series Masterlist I Main Masterlist
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queer-geordie-nerd · 11 months
Text
I talk about Mira a lot, and I’m doing so again 🤷🏻‍♀️
She was a beautiful woman, and a powerful and talented actor and writer, no doubt, but much more importantly, I feel, she was also a woman of vast and deep integrity - she fought against injustice and nationalism/racism all of her life and her principled and public stance against the war and ethnic divisions in Yugoslavia cost her dearly and yet, it was a position she never ever moved away from and believed in profoundly. It is very easy to have principles when they are not being tested, and another thing entirely to stake your very life on those principles.
Even when her stance cost her her home, her career, and her friendships, and the enormous amount of threats against her life forced her to leave her country, she never once backed down from her belief in unity and cooperation.
The anti war essay she wrote and published as she fled is still one of the most powerful pieces of writing I’ve ever read and I am going to post it here in its entirety because it is fierce and amazing:
Letter to my co-citizens
I hereby wish to thank my co-citizens who have joined so unreservedly in this small, marginal, and apparently not particularly significant campaign against me. Although marginal, it will change and mark my whole life. Which is, of course, totally irrelevant in the context of the death, destruction, devastation, and blood-chilling crimes within which our life now goes on.
This is happening, however, to the one and only life I have. It seems that I’ve been chosen for some reason to be the filthy rag everyone uses to wipe the mud off their shoes. I am far too desperate to embark on a series of public polemics in the papers. I do, however, feel that I owe myself and my city at least a few words. Like at the end of some clumsy, painful love story, when you keep wanting, wrongly, to explain something more, even though you know at the bottom of your heart that words are wasted; there is no one left to hear them. It is over.
Listening to my answering machine, to the incredible quantities of indescribably disgusting messages from my co-citizens, I longed to hear at least one message from a friend. Or not even a friend, a mere acquaintance, a colleague. But there was none. Not a single familiar voice, not a single friend. Nevertheless, I am grateful to them, to those noble patriots who kindly promise me a “massacre the Serbian way”; and to those colleagues, friends, and acquaintances who, by remaining silent, are letting me know that I cannot count on them any more.
I am grateful also to all my colleagues in the theatre with whom I played Drzic, Moliere, Turgenev, and Shaw, I am grateful to them for their silence, I am grateful to them for not even trying to understand, let alone attempting to vindicate, my statement concerning my appearance at the BITEF Festival in Belgrade, the statement in which I tried to explain that taking part in that production at that moment was for me a defense of our profession which must not and cannot put itself in the service of any political or national ideas, which must not and cannot be bound by political or national limits because it is simply against its nature, which must, even at the worst of times, establish bridges and ties. In its very essence it is a vocation which knows no boundaries.
I know that all this talk about the cosmopolitanism of art seems inappropriate at a moment like this. I know that it may seem out of place to swear to pacifism, to swear to love and to the brotherhood of all peoples while people are dying, while children are dying, while young men are returning home crippled and mangled forever.
How can I say anything which won’t sound like an ill-fitted nonsense at the moment when, for absolutely unfathomable reasons, Dubrovnik is being threatened, the city where I played my favorite role, Gloria?
But I have no other way of thinking. I cannot accept war as the only solution, I cannot force myself to hate, I cannot believe that weapons, killing, revenge, hatred, that such an accumulation of evil will ever solve anything. Each individual who personally accepts the war is in fact an accessory to the crime; must he not then take a part of the guilt for the war, a part of the responsibility?
In any case, I think, I know and I feel that it is my duty, the duty of our profession, to build bridges. To never give up on cooperation and community. Not the national community. The professional community.
The human community. And even when things are at their very worst, as they are now, we must insist to our last breath on building and sustaining bonds between people. This is how we pledge to the future.
And one day it will come. For my part, until recently I was willing to endure all manner of problems in transportation, communication, and finances to trek the 20 hours across Austria and Hungary between Zagreb and Belgrade. I was willing to use risky, even dangerous modes of travel, just to keep holding my performances in the two warring cities, to appear at precisely 7:30 on stage with my Zagreb or Belgrade colleagues and to alternate Corneille and Turgenev for the sake of professional continuity, for the sake of something that would outlive this war and this hatred which is so foreign to me. Time and time again I was willing to make my life a symbol of a pledge to the future which must be waiting for us, until that day when some ardent patriot finally does slaughter me as so many have promised to do.
I was willing and I would still be willing to undertake all and any efforts, if the hatred hadn’t suddenly overwhelmed me with its horrendous ferocity, hatred welling from the city I was born in. I am appalled by the force and magnitude of that hatred, by its perfect unanimity, by the fact that there was absolutely nobody who could see my gesture as my defense of the integrity of the profession, as my attempt to defend at least one excellent theatre performance. I had no intention of acting further in performances outside the BITEF Festival, as I stated in my letter. BITEF as an international theatre event attended by the English, Russians, French, Belgians, and even one Slovene seemed to me worth participating in, especially because any decision not to participate would have meant betraying a performance I had worked on under the most difficult circumstances during the March 9th Belgrade tanks, daily threats of a military coup, etc., etc.
It is terribly sad when one is forced to justification without having done anything wrong. There is nothing but despair, nausea, and horror.
I no longer have any decisions to make. Others have decided for me.
They have decided I must shut up, give up, vanish; they have abolished my right to do my job the way I feel it should be done, they have abolished my right to come home to my own city, they have abolished my right to return to my theatre and act in my performances. Someone decided that I should be fired from my job. Thank you, Croatian National Theatre; thank you, my colleague Dragan Milivojevic, who signed my dismissal slip. I know that lots of people are losing jobs, that I am just one of many, simply part of a surplus work force. I constantly ask myself whether I have any right, at this moment of communal horror, to make any demands of my own. One thing seems certain: I plan for quite some time (how long?) not to perform on any stage in this crumbling, mangled land. Perhaps they needn’t have hurried so in firing me. Perhaps this would have simply taken care of itself. With more decency. And dignity. Not so crudely. Of course, this is not a moment for tenderness. But won’t someone out there have to be ashamed of this? And will this someone necessarily be me, as my fellow actors try to convince me in their orthodox interviews? Can the horror of war be used as a justification for every single nasty bit of filth we commit against our fellow man? Are we allowed to remain silent in the face of injustice done to a friend or a colleague and justify our silence by the importance of the great bright national objective? I ask my friends in Zagreb, who are now silent, while at the same time they condemn Belgrade for its silence.
It is hard to write without bitterness. I would like to be able to do that, because we should “Love Our Enemy.” I wish we all could. Herein perhaps lies the solution for all of us. But I fear that we are very far from the ways of the Lord. His is the way of love. Not hatred.
To whom am I addressing this letter? Who will read it? Who will even care to read it? Everyone is so caught up by the great cause that small personal fates are not important any more. How many friends do you have to betray to keep from committing the only socially acknowledged betrayal, the betrayal of the nation? How many petty treacheries, how many pathetic little dirty tricks must one do to remain “clean in the eyes of the nation?”
I am sorry, my system of values is different. For me there have always existed, and always will exist, only human beings, individual people, and those human beings (God, how few of them there are !) will always be excepted from generalizations of any kind, regardless of events, however catastrophic. I, unfortunately, shall never be able to “hate all Serbs,” nor even understand what that really means. I shall always, perhaps until the moment the kind threats on the phone are finally carried out, hold my hand out to an anonymous person on the “other side,” a person who is as desperate and lost as I am, who is as sad, bewildered, and frightened. There are such people in this city where I write my letter, the city my love took me to, a feeling it seems almost indecent to mention these days. Nothing can provide an excuse any more, everything that does not directly serve the great objective has been trampled upon and appears despicable, and with it what love, what marriage, what friendship, what theatre performances!
I reject, I refuse to accept such a crippling of myself and my own life. I played those last performances in Belgrade for those anguished people who were not “Serbs”; but human beings, human beings like me, human beings who recoil before this monstrous Grand Guignol farce in which dead heads are flying. It is to these people, both here and there, that I am addressing my words. Perhaps someone will hear me.
The punishment meted me by my city, my only city and my theatre, my only theatre, the only theatre I felt was mine, is a punishment I feel I do not deserve. I was working in the way I have always felt I had to work, believing in people and our vocation which is supposed to bring people together, not tear them apart. I will never “give up my Belgrade friends”; as some of my colleagues have, because I do not feel that these friends have in any way brought about this catastrophe which has afflicted us, just as I will not turn my back on my Zagreb friends, not even those who have turned their backs on me. I will try in every way possible to understand their panic, their fear, their bitterness, even their hatred, but I plead for the same dose of understanding for me, that is, for a story which is different than many others, for a life which has deviated, due to the so-called destiny, from the expected and customary. Why must everything be the same, so frighteningly uniform, leveled, standardized? Haven’t we had enough of that? I know this is the time of uniforms and they are all the same, but I am no soldier and cannot be one. I haven’t got it in me to be a soldier, soldiering just isn’t my calling.
Regardless of whether we will be living in one, or five, or fifty states, let us not forget the people, each individual, regardless of which side of this Wall of ours the person happens to be on. We were born here by accident, we are this or that by accident, so there must be more than that, mustn’t there?
I am sending this letter into a void, into darkness, without an inkling of who will read it and how, or in how many different ways it will be misused or abused. Chances are it will serve as food for the eternally hungry propaganda beast. Perhaps someone with a pure heart will read it after all.
I will be grateful to that someone.
Mira Furlan,
From Belgrade and Zagreb, November 1, 1991.
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videcoeur · 4 months
Note
☼☼☼☼☼
For every ☼ in my askbox I'll mention someone I want to roleplay with or roleplay with more! - X
I'm not gonna copy paste what I wrote from the other asks but TLDR I'm sick and it sucks and I wish I had more energy to roleplay with ALL my mutuals. If I follow you? You bet your ass I want to interact with you. I just have the energy of a dying snail on hot asphalt most days. :(
With that said, you've asked for 5 URLs! So here they come!
@bcund Hi, my beloved. I love your art, I love your muses, I love your writings and I wish I could interact with them. I am still admiring you from the sideline and liking everything I see!!
@ikurosakii I've seen blurbs of your Ichigo all over my dash and I just want to say that I really like your writing! I'd love to throw someone at you at some point :)
@fallesto I've also been reading a few of your threads and I love how winded they get at times. You're a stellar writer and I swear some day I'm gonna do more than stand on the sideline. I'll meme at you and we'll get something started :)
@crownlcsking I've also been following you forever and I love how you portray Yuya. I enjoy the asks you answer and some of the threads I caught here and there. I want to interact and I will at some point :) This is a threat
@auburniivenus It's a new mutual here but I'm one of those that absolutely love Orihime and can't stand any hate she ever received. Back off my girl!! Anyway, you're doing a fantastic job with her and I'd love to put her against any of my Bleach muses when I have more time and if you're interested :)
Also, special mention and shoutout to everyone that's waiting on a reply from me since october+ (I think my oldest owed is in October 16th) @melancholy-menagerie, @goddslayerr ,@mageofspacemultiverse, @sillygum, @conquiistador (and all your blogs toby I s2g, @abysmal-black (yeah mentioning u twice, sue me), @sunfirekid , @particlecreator , @goresugars , @cmdrace , @summerxmelodies, @apocalypta-secundus, @sleeplesswork @chillin-at-partys-bar
PS: (And I think that's all I owe! If I owe you and your name was not mentioned, I probably missed it and please let me know. I never drop threads willingly. )
PPS: If I did not mention you but we're mutuals, please I beg of you to include yourself in this list because I wouldn't follow someone whose writing or portrayal I didn't enjoy. I'm ill, slow and so grateful for everyone willing to wait to write with me and if we're mutuals, I promise someday I will reach out!!
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quodekash · 7 months
Text
PART 2 OF DANGEROUS ROMANCE EP4 COMMENTARY BC I HAVE TOO MANY THOUGHTS AND RAN OUT OF SCREENSHOTS
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because of them, im now gonna start sobbing every time someone throws a peace sign at me
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HELL YES
IM SO PROUD OF MY BOY
YUOU DID SO GOOD KANG
I KNEW YPU COULD DO IT
AIUOGHKJERPODHFKN
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NOOOOOOO
FRICK
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my boy is having many thoughts. none of them good.
I can hear his crisis and him blaming himself because now he thinks it's his fault that sailom's gonna get beat up, and he's sad for himself that he doesn't have a reason to spend time with sailom anymore, and now his grandma's gonna be disappointed in him for failing something, and there's definitely some thoughts in the mix there about his dad and the bike he bought him and kang is so certain he doesn't deserve the bike, I could go on but I wont because I would like to finish this episode before the sun rises and currently that doesnt seem all too likely
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well DUH
YOU COULD SEE IT FROM MARS (and now im thinking about soundwin. frick.)
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tell him
tellllll himmmmmm
tell him he lent the umbrella to youuuuu
and you've treasured it forever perhaps?
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OMG HE'S TELLING HIM???
DUDE THEYRE ACTUALLY LISTENING TO ME SO MUCH THIS EPISODE THIS IS SO RARE
chances are either the bus or Kang's car is gonna show up before he'll get it out, bUT ONCE AGAIN, LET ME BASK IN THIS RARE MOMENT OF GLORY AND POWER
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BOOM
CALLED IT
I know it's super cliche and everyone probably saw that coming but I dont care, im gonna let myself feel almighty powerful
I just. I will never understand why they dont just like quickly tell the person before leaving. or like yell at him while getting on the bus. OR EVEN text him while on the bus, immediately after getting on. that's what id do, cos if I dont tell them right then and there, I guarantee you I will forget to ever tell them, and then it'll keep me up at night for ages but never at a moment where I actually think about telling them, and then three or four years later ill finally tell them and it'll be so insignificant by then but it doesnt matter because I FINALLY TOLD THEM THE THING
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I really hope he remembers to give at least one of those umbrellas back to kang
mans is not waterproof, he needs an umbrella
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respect for auto just went down down prices are down
crypto? seriously honey?
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IT'S SO CHEESY
IT'S SO CLICHE
AND IM CRYING ABOUT IT BECAUSE SOMEHOW I BOTH IRONICALLY AND UNIRONICALLY LOVE CHEESY AND CLICHE MOMENTS WITH ALL MY FRIKIN SOUL
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EW
SPORTS
I hate sports days so much
thankfully id always be allowed to just not go to school instead of being forced to participate in athletics and swimming carnivals and cross country and stuff, and I will be forever grateful to my parents for that
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they're in love btw
just in case anyone forgot
I didn't forget
I can't forget about them
my brain wont allow it
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IT'S JUST
ITS JUST SO SWEET
I THINK IM GOING INSANE, THEY HATE EACH OTHER AND WANT TO KILL EACH OTHER SO BADLY THAT IT'S LITERALLY ROMANTIC
THIS IS PINING
HE IS PINING
PL E A SE CAN THEY KISS
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NAWA'S HEAD TILT????? LIKE THEYRE LITERALLY ABOUT TO KISS IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU
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two things to say here
one: view, please marry me
two: kang and sailom definitely have the same responsibilities
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just KISS
I can't deal with the longing stares anymore
im like 80% certain they wont kiss this episode but I so badly want them to
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NOOOO THEYRE NOT IN THE SAME GROUP THINGY
....but (hehe butt)
...maybe
...perhaps
I think kang might pull some strings to end up in the same department as sailom? maybe??
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IM DYING, THERE'S A MARC AND A PAVIN (which sounded like pawin)
THEY GAVE UP THINKING OF NAMES FOR THE RANDOM CLASSMATES
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ooooo he is listening to their conversationnnnnn
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AND THEYRE GONNA INTERACT IN A FRIKIN BATHROOM??? I SWEAR, EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW IS SOUNDWIN CODED, IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU
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5ER6CYVTGUOBHIOVTRC6DE5S4E57RCVYUBHUVTRDS3GTFD46F7GY8H
I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY
THEYRE JUST SO
HE'S SO GOUERGJND
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LMAO YOU IDIOT
(we're getting so many cheesy cliches right after each other and I am so here for it, I love this so much)
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now kiss
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OH
OH THIS IS THIS PART???? DAMN
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he needs money to pay off his debts, so... he's gonna take a job offer from the guy he pays his debts to? feels kinda pointless, right?
also in this series, pepper reminds me of tor, specifically in midnight museum, so part of my mind thinks hes gonna offer him a job at the museum
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LMAO
'MYNAME6969'
I WANT TO KNOW WHO PUT THAT IN THERE AND GIVE THEM A HIGH FIVE BECAUSE THATS FRIKIN HILARIOUS, WHOEVER SNUCK THAT IN THERE
IM DYING I LOVE THAT SO MUCH
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as someone who sprained an ankle a little over a month ago, I have some points to make
namely: saifah is right. the first 72 hours are the most important, as long as you're resting it, keeping it elevated, icing it, compressing it, you'll be all good to walk on it in no time. after that, you need to make sure you're still taking care of it, like by wearing a compression sock all the time, and not walking on it too much if it starts hurting, stuff like that. that's the part I didnt do. I took care of it for three days, then kept walking on it like nothing happened, and it's still really painful sometimes, it never properly healed, but like it's fine im surviving
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OH I DO NOT LIKE THIS, I DO NOT LIKE THIS AT ALL
HE'S SO OLD
ICKY I FEEL ICKY
there's nothing wrong with the work he's doing, it's just the fact that he's still a kid and thats a 50 year old man
on another note, I ran out of bloody images AGAIN
AND ON ANOTHER NOTE, ITS NEARLY 2AM. IVE BEEN WATCHING FOR NEARLY 2 AND A HALF HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN THREE QUARTERS THROUGH THE EPISODE, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME
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hahafixon · 8 months
Text
The Almost Knight and the Fugitive Sorceress ~ *Song Mingi*
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Summary: Mingi wants to be a knight in the royal guard more than anything. However, he can't seem to make a good impression to warrant moving up in rank. But could delivering a message to the elusive and frankly terrifying sorceress be worth a promotion?
Pairing: Song Mingi X Fem!Reader
Genre: Fluffyish Oneshot
Word Count: 1649
Warning: swearing, a couple mentions of death but nothing happens.
Masterlist
Taglist: @foxwinter​​ @mxnsxngie​ @maeleelee​ @imagine-a-life-like-this​ @kpop-will-kill-me
When Mingi first came to the castle, he was expected to join the royal guard and rise swiftly through the ranks. However, he found himself still a squire, three years later. It seemed all the other squires were far better at being a guard and knight than him. Though he tried to smile and ease his mother’s fear that he would never advance, he would never tell her that he could taste the acrid taste of failure. It was better that she didn’t know.
Mingi was currently cleaning out the barn, which has become one of his biggest chores. Angrily, he shoveled out the old hay and horse shit, trying not to snap at the other stablehands as they passed.
“It’s like they want me to be one of them.” He muttered under his breath, cursing his ill fortune, that the other guards didn’t see him as worthy to join their ranks. He tried to be grateful for the extra training, but it was starting to feel more like they wanted a grunt to do the work no one else wanted.
“Hey, Mingi. Do you have a moment?” He looked up to see Jongho, the latest squire to be knighted and join the ranks of guard. He tried not to spit at him, as he was younger than him and only trained a year before being knighted.
“What is it?”
“An important message for you to deliver.” He explained, staying near the stall door, as if not daring to let his precious knightly boots get soiled. “It’ll take you into the castle.”
This made him pause. Into the castle? He’s only ever been in the knights chambers. “How far into the castle?”
“The sorceress’s chambers.”
It wasn’t the royal family but it was closer than the knights. This was huge. However, he couldn’t help but feel like this was some sort of elaborate prank.
“Why do they want me to go?”
Jongho shrugged. “I don’t know. They just said they wanted you. Besides, it’s a message that came from a shadowy figure, according to San. That’s why they want a knight to deliver it instead of a courier.”
He scoffed and went back to shoveling. “So they’re okay if I get harmed in the process of delivering it. No thank you.”
“C’mon! This could be your big chance to show them you deserve to join them in their ranks!”
Mingi paused again. What could he say? He has been desperate to be knighted and join the royal guard for what felt like forever. Jongho was right; this could be his last chance to prove himself. Perhaps he should complete the test to show he could be loyal to the very end.
He dropped the shovel. “Alright, fine. I’ll do it. Where’s the message?”
Jongho handed him a simple, unmarked letter with a black wax seal. It felt dangerous in his hands. However, Mingi gave him a nod and strode out of the barn towards the castle. 
A giddy feeling bubbled inside of him. This could be it. He could write to his mother tonight and tell her he was going to be knighted. He’d tell her to invite the whole family to see it. He would ask her to move closer to the castle so he could take care of her and the rest of his family. He would finally be able to provide for them, like he’s always wanted to. A sigh of satisfaction escaped him. He could picture the contents of the letter now, telling her about how his terrible fortune has turned-
And that’s when he ran into someone, knocking them off their feet and flinging their documents all over the place.
“Oh! I am so, so, so sorry!” He babbled, stooping down to grab some of their papers.
“It’s fine, it’s fine.” They mumbled, taking the papers from his hands.
It was then that he saw who he ran into and his blood ran cold. It was the sorceress, the one he needed to deliver the message to. How could he be so careless, yet so fortunate?
“Oh, it’s you.”
She furrowed her brows at him. “Yeah? Can I help you?”
“Um…” Quickly, he recovered the message and handed it to her.
“What’s this?”
“An urgent message. I was told a shadowy figure gave it to the royal guard for us to deliver to you-”
“Yes thank you.” She quickly interjected, stuffing the letter into her pocket before turning on her heel and marching towards the castle. However, she told him thank you over her shoulder as she hurried on her way.
Despite the awkward delivery, Mingi felt pretty proud of himself. He delivered a letter to the sorceress and he didn’t mess it up too bad. Granted, he wished he got to go into the castle to see what it was like. But that didn’t matter now. He needed to see the Captain to tell him what had happened and why he was deserving of being knighted.
So he marched towards the Captain’s quarters, a spring in his step. Knocking on the door, he waited for a response. However, no one answered him. His good mood began to falter and embarrassment began to trickle in. Did they know it was him? Were they in there acting like they weren’t?
As he stood there, feeling worse and worse for himself, Jongho rounded the corner. “Mingi? What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I uh, I came to see the Captain?” He mumbled.
He pursed his lips. “The Captain isn’t here right now. They’re speaking with the King right now. Apparently there was some urgent matter they needed to attend to. They won’t be back until late.”
“Oh I see.”
Now Mingi really felt foolish. By the time the Captain gets back, it’ll be too late for him to explain what he did. He was beginning to think that delivering a message to the elusive sorceress wasn’t enough to get him promoted. There was no way he was ever going to be a knight at this point.
With tears in his eyes, Mingi gave Jongho a polite bow and scurried off to his own room. He wasn’t going to cry. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry. However, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He wasn’t good enough to be a knight or part of the royal guard in general. 
At this point, Mingi had half a mind to pack up and head for home. He’d have to tell his mother what happened and he knew the news would practically kill her. But he would make her understand. He would find another, more respectable job closer to home to provide for her. Sure it wouldn’t be what he wanted, but it was better than sitting around hoping for something to happen. He needed to face the music: he wasn’t getting anywhere here. It was time to move on.
So with a resolute sniff, Mingi packed his meager belongings, penned a quick note to whoever would care about why he left his post, and slipped out of his room. The sting of rejection still hurt painfully, but he needed to move on. This was for the best. However, even though he was leaving, that didn’t mean he couldn’t take a quick peek around the grounds of the castle that he never got to see.
Mingi took his time wandering around the outside of the castle. The grounds were in excellent shape, all thanks to Yeosang’s handiwork as the chief gardener. Servants, guards, and nobles scurried about, attending to their duties; jobs he would no longer have a hand in. Again, another pang of heartache hit, but he pushed it down inside. He would worry about that later.
As he rounded the back of the castle, he noticed a crowd of people pointing at one of the balconies. Squinting he could make out a woman half-tipped over the edge. She looked like she was about to fall and the man in front of her seemed to be pushing her. 
His suspicions were confirmed as she fell with a scream and her dress billowing out around her like a cloud.
Mingi didn’t think, his body working ahead of his brain. He found himself dropping his bag of belongings and rushing to catch her. The force of her fall knocked him off his feet, but he managed to catch her without too many injuries to either of them.
Upon closer inspection, he realized who it was: the sorceress herself, looking much worse for wear than when he first saw her. 
“Well, it seems we keep running into each other.” She said, her voice breathless.
“It only happened twice today.” He answered dumbly.
She rolled her eyes and got off of him. After dusting herself off, she held a hand out to him, which he took. “Still, thank you for rescuing me, but now we must be going now.”
“I-what?”
“GUARDS! SEIZE THAT WOMAN FOR TREASON TO THE CROWN!” The man on the balcony screamed to the people below.
Mingi stared at her with wide eyes, not realizing her grip on his hand tightened. “TREASON?!”
She groaned. “It wasn’t my fault! But unless you also want to be beheaded, we need to GO!”
And with that she took off on a mad sprint towards the woods behind the castle, Mingi in tow. He had no choice but to go along with her, his mind spinning. One moment he was shoveling horse shit, the next he was preparing to leave the royal guard, and now he was running through the woods as a fugitive with the former sorceress of the castle. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever picture this happening to him. But he wasn’t thinking of the implications of going on the run.
All Mingi could think about was how he was going to tell his mother what happened to him.
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i need. scp-096 angst hcs. i need them NOW and i need comfort. angst n comfort. i want that shit to nuke my brain upon impact. i want that shit to crush me. i want this shit to be fucking traumatizing to read. i want you.
THIS WAS A TRIP TO READ FROM BEGINNING TO END?? I MEAN YEAH GO OFF ILL ABSOLUTELY DO THE REQUEST BUT WHY DO YOU WANT M E 😭
SCP 096 angst + comfort HCS
It hurts for him to exist, like his bones are so deformed that moving and sometimes even breathing can be painful.
He may even push you away some days because the physical contact can be too much for him.. and if you keep trying? he may get so blinded by his agony that he bites you.
You’ll actually need to be separated from him for at least a few weeks, and a request to the O5 would be made for him to up his pain meds.
So whenever things do seem to simmer down and you’re allowed to check in on him once again, you don’t hear the typical loud wailing- and as soon as you walk in, you see a dead silent, unmoving 096.
He’s so distraught with what he did that he can’t even bring himself to cry, he doesn’t even bother to acknowledge when D-Class are sent in for experiments, he’s just spiraled too far down in a depression.
He needs you, he won’t make the first move for contact in fear of losing you forever- But once you initiate anything he will be wrapped around you and heaving with loud, overjoyed sobs.
He was worried sick about you and was dwelling on the horrible thought that you’d never wanna see him again, so he’s very grateful to have you back- and he swears to himself he’ll never snap like that at you again. <3
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fairyhaos · 9 months
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Talk about your moots; what do you like most about them (could be a paragraph or a single sentence, spread the love!!)
oh oh okay let's do this !! i did as many people as possible, but there are some of my moots that i haven't talked to much yet 😭 but know that i love all of you sm and im so happy that we're moots <3
@etherealyoungk my lovely wonderful skye <3 she's one of the first ever friends i made here and i love that every day without fail she sends me a text to check up on how i'm doing. i'm not the best at maintaining contact with people but the effort she puts in makes me feel less awkward about reaching out and i love her so much for that
@kyeomyun my beloved!!! jada is so bright and sweet and i love screaming with her about anything and everything, haha. she just Gets me so well (esp how goddamn in love i am with josh) and it's always just so so fun to talk with her <3
@rubywonu nia my lovely soleil! i haven't been able to talk to you much lately but she's been one of my biggest supporters since day one and i will forever love her for being such a wonderful and chill and bright friend to me
@slytherinshua zanna and her extrovertedness is what has made me able to form closer connections with so many people here i swear 😭 without her i wouldn't have talked more to axe, rania, or kie purely bc she's always around to talk to others and it indirectly helps me talk to people too, haha
@odxrilove the only person to call me pookie and honestly 😭 it's rlly cute i love it??? j'aime parler en français in dori's inbox even tho my french isn't really up to scratch haha and she's always the funniest and most vibrant person to have conversations with
@icyminghao little bear!!!!! i don't know how to explain it, but there's something so fresh and adorable about talking with my little bear. i feel like im talking to my bestie and my little sister at the same time and we might not talk a lot these days (fucken EXAMS) but im always cheering u on <3
@mirxzii roxie is so goofy silly sweet i love her actually. she always pops into my inbox with the most random things and i adore her for it (not when she laughs at me for gushing over MY bf tho) and i just feel so grateful that she is able to come to me no matter the situation
@ylliris-hanniehae ylli!!! ylli is such a sweet person and she's another person who just randomly comes and checks up on me which im really glad for because again, im horrible at keeping up friendships bc im just. shy okay 😭 but no conversation is ever dull with her, and i think she's just so sweet fr
@gyuswhore em the coolest person ever fr???? we've had maybe 3 conversations together in total and all of them have been about the same weird topic 😭 but she's so fun and cool and ngl i do feel a little intimidated when talking to her but honestly i think that's part of her charm
@hannyoontify kie lovely i really need to talk to you more oml!! you're always just endlessly sweet and i think that we would seriously have a really really great time if we held a conversation together so like... this is me promising ill reach out to you sometime <3
@wheeboo rania your fics??????? always the loveliest most comforting things ever omg i don't know how you do it. you're literally one of the brightest and most hilarious people ever and also just so so sweet and kind.
@blue-jisungs axe!!! lovely lovely axe whose nails are just so so slay and whose new hair looks incredible. you're so funny and lovely seriously, and i think we should talk 1 on 1 more often (especially bc when im at home we're actually???? in almost the same time zone haha)
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salsflore · 5 months
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happy mikachi anniversary ♡
i know i always repeat the same thing but meh it shocks me a little when i think about how long i’ve been loving him for. i’m lacking motivation so i barely gush (....or maybe not) nowadays but he is still just as important to me no matter what. its so odd to think how he’s been one of the few constants in my life, i’m really grateful to have been introduced to him and i just! wow. i love him more than anything. i like to make jokes about being evil and hating him (its true! i do!) but ahh sometimes there are moments where i am just filled with so much love for him and i get teary and euuughhhh when i tell you i really like him i swear i do... and he’s helped me a lot by merely existing. though he’s not real, that doesn’t make him any less special to me.
i want to go on and on and on about him forever, but i’m honestly just too preoccupied with other things sometimes to do much on this app.. still, even if i’m not hating or threatening him as much these days, i still think about him a lot and he (somehow) gives me loads of comfort every single time. my precious. i love his art his voice his backstory his everything i just love him!! okay!! insert that naruto & mental illness tumblr post..
so thankful to have discovered this community. everyone here has been so lovely and i definitely enjoy both being silly about him from time to time + interacting with my mutuals in general.
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cityandking · 4 months
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photo album, mixtape, psyche, shooting star for minah, vesper, & caes!
tyyyyy!! // oc ask meme
photo album: describe one of your OCs’ favorite memories.
MINAH — answered! VESPER — sitting in solas' study talking about some semi-obscure magical theory and being delighted by the way solas approached it from his (assumed) hedgemage perspective and how that reframing added something she'd missed in her circle education. dorian, overhearing them, had leaned over the banister from the library above and was so insistent on getting in on the discussion that he was halfway through a lecture before solas asked if perhaps he'd care to join them for tea and scones, or if he was too loathe to abandon his pulpit. they'd been at it so late that leliana had dinner sent over, and vesper had just been satisfied and thrilled and grateful, which were novel and delightful things to feel in the middle of the war and the chaos. CAES — also answered!
mixtape: 5 songs that describe your OC(s) or songs they themselves would like.
MINAH — 1. bad blood - bastille (all this bad blood here / won't you let it dry? / it's been cold for years / won't you let it lie?) 2. part of me - noah kahan (even through the pain, I can't recall your face / just the ache of knowing everything was gonna change / I got so close to love with you, my dear / but I don't miss you / I miss the way you made me feel) 3. final girl - chvrches (telling all the tales took time that I just do not have / sifting further through the wreckage, I think you just have to laugh) 4. you can run - adam jones (truth gonna come out, someday / it's gonna wipe that smile right off your face) 5. liar - the arcadian wild (my life’s become this grand game of deception / my mind’s ignored all my heart’s good intentions) VESPER — 1. dear doubt - michael schulte (dear doubt, you wore out a path to my door / and it's needless to say that there's no way that I want you here) 2. make them gold - chvrches (we are made up of our longest days / we are falling but not alone / we will take the best parts of ourselves / and make them gold) 3. son - sleeping at last (so I will try, try, try to breathe / 'til it turns to muscle memory / I'm only steady on my knees / but one day, I'll stand on my own two feet) 4. woodblock - joe gil (I don't have to take my burdens home / I don't have to do this on my own) 5. be yourself - harrison storm (take on the colors on / and fire fight the winter storms) CAES — 1. everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears (all for freedom and for pleasure / nothing ever lasts forever / everybody wants to rule the world) 2. forces of the unseen - cloud cult (I'm gonna make it through, you'll see / I swear I'll prove you wrong / you haven't seen the last of me / I am way too strong) 3. culling of the fold - the decemberists (listen up boy / and listen up girl / it's a shallow little trench / and it's giving off a stench / it's a shallow little world) 4. heat stroke - black math (you're breathin' hard but I still got a hundred miles / untouchable I live for this / I breathe for this / I bleed for this) 5. my songs know what you did in the dark - fall out boy (be careful making wishes in the dark / can't be sure when they've hit their mark / and besides in the mean-meantime I'm just dreaming of tearing you apart)
psyche: what’s their head space like? do they have any mental illnesses? how do they process difficult or emotional situations? what are their coping mechanisms?
MINAH — it... could be worse? like it's not great up there but she's perfectly functional. she just ignores some stuff (or obsesses over it too much, or swings wildly between the two). processing emotions is not really part of her skill set, so most of her coping mechanisms are rooted in avoidance, distraction, and deflection all piled together into a wobbly card tower of maladaptive techniques. but honestly, she's fine. VESPER — her headspace is mostly just bleak. kind of a constant churn of what-if and not-again. she's definitely got a bit of an undiagnosed anxiety thing going on, but she copes with it pretty well all things considered. her emotional processing works overtime to keep up with how much thinking she does all the damn time, and her coping mechanisms tend to be Working Even More. one of the upsides of the inquisition is that she finally gets a proper support network. CAES — pristine. you've never met anyone better at compartmentalizing. he's a horrible little man who doesn't know how to let go of a grudge but he will have it sorted by date, location, responsible parties, and weather at the time. I'm not sure he "processes" his emotions but he sure does Do Something About Them (exact revenge, be petty, plot people's downfalls, etc.)
shooting star: if your OC(s) could have one wish what would it be?
MINAH — she doesn't know. she's so torn about what she wants most that it would be almost impossible for her to choose just one thing to wish for. maybe to go back and do it all over again. maybe just to have all the facts, so at least she'd know what went wrong. VESPER — part of her would feel obligated to wish for things for other people—a stop to the fighting, peace in southern thedas, that sort of thing. I think probably in actually she'd wish for happiness, or the chance to talk to solas again—to try to change his mind, or just to understand why he's so determined to continue down this path. CAES — power, probably. the sort of power you can dangle over people's heads; the sort of power that works quiet and in secret and bends the world to your will. it's why he wanted so badly to join the magisterium—it may be cutthroat and bloody and twisted, but it's also the center of everything and a great place to be to get shit done.
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002yb · 1 year
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Current thoughts: The way Jason and Dick love each other and the strange balance they present through their dynamic by just existing within each other's presence that causes a state of neutralization. 
Jason is akin to a state of intoxication
Because Dick is all anger and rage that has been bottled up and taught hard chains and lines to cope rather than a release - it festers into something ugly and brutal and always licks at the back of his teeth to be let out. It's bandaids given by the weeping over gaping vivisections performed by loss and grief that never go away, sometimes he’ll wake up and swear he can feel blood on his fingers - sliding down to stain the white sheets under him. And he’s mastered masking it - not touching it - not letting it heal but not letting anybody see and using it to fuel the hunger that gets him through the night, the relish of broken bones and justification.
And for the shitty start they had Dick never actually thought the kid who grated against him would become the soothing feeling of forgetting. Because when spikes fall to reveal something so soft and endearing it's as if Dicks brain rearranges its own anatomy - like his dopamine release was directly connected to the kid who skates around him with a taunting smile he can't help but bite playfully at. And the wound is still there - and Dick doesn't know if it'll ever actually heal but there's something more secure - because Jason sews him up and offers to wait until it turns into nothing but a scar. And maybe it'll never heal - but Jason is prepared to stay forever and the thought of a future with this ridiculous kid that's climbed his way into his open chest settles Dick in a way he hasn't known since he was in the circus. 
Dick is likened to something of an addiction 
Because for all Jason is hard thorns and armor - hostile architecture coating his skin like how they once chased him out of safe spaces on the street - it's to protect a softer inside. Jason’s actions are presented through anger - but they were transformed from a perpetually bleeding love - the kind that lets you crush his skull under your foot and he’ll love you from hell. It's tender in the hurt - and delicate in its state and so full it might burst - the love Jason harbors for the wicked. And Jason knows anger is the only thing he's capable of - and he doesn't know where to direct it but he keeps drowning in his own guts and he's drowning - drowning - and almost gone. Robin fights for justice, he has no idea what he fights for without the mask - violent caresses of a heart.
And then there's this pull - a tug, a draw, a heave - and he's being dragged forward and he doesn't know where but there's a direction now and it always leads back to eyes so blue they mimic the sky. Dick is an addiction - and Jason has a past with shit like this - but he thinks it might be ok this one because the bruises decorating his bones like a curse are slowly healing. It's found in the way his barbs and threats fall short - a manufactured high - they don't quite reach and eventually they wilt and fall off until he's left bare and vulnerable. It's presented messily but so endearingly in the way he seems to have a second metaphorical stomach that's always hungry for Dicks attention - and suddenly it's easier to know what to do. Because he might mess this up but as long as Dick is here he knows how to seek him out - there's an end goal and now there's a little dirt path highlighted by laughter and lazy smiles. 
(ahh hope this one actually catches what i'm trying to say this was a struggle lmao - recovering from a tongue piercing is no joke.)(also ill for sure send an ask if i do make the writing blog!!)
Jason being intoxicating and Dick being addictive is such a concept and I think I actually really adore it (because I think this might actually be how I default write them LOL, especially in WtMBU/N&R verse and I know an addiction/intoxication motif reads as toxic but idc fffffffff). Thank you again anon for another lovely introspective on dickjay. It's so thought-provoking!! Also I wish you all the best with the new piercing; I'll be hoping for smooth sailings during the recovery. (。・ω・。)ノ♡
Your analysis on Dick is a take I'm so immensely fond of though. There's nothing I adore more than when someone explores the darker side of this man. The side of him that's hurt and stays hurting because he never lets himself heal - because he's healed wrong. The side of him that's vicious and volatile, cold and cruel. It's not that Dick is always this way; it's not the forefront of his personality/character, but it's there. He's capable of wicked things: violent, ugly, brutal. Dick carries so much grief with him that it wrecked him, ruined him. With the hard lines he's learned to cope through, where else can his rage go but to tearing at his own skin and through his muscle; blood caked under his nails and lungs overfull from all the screams he's had to swallow down.
The self-restraint Dick is capable of is self-harm called discipline because it's nicer, more respectable. It's a slow and cruel death, but over time Dick has resigned himself to rot - psyche too tired from the burdens: I can't, I shouldn't, I won't.
Dick not being broken, per se, but fractured. No one being the wiser. Because even with wounds that healed poorly or broken bones that set wrong, Dick is strong. He's all fortitude and resilience. He knows how to push himself - there's no line for him to toe there. So Dick pushes and pushes until he's run down, burned out and smiling despite the burden because he can bear it. And no one need know.
But of course grief isn't kind. It leaves him introspective and withdrawn. He can put on a show when needed, but at his most honest Dick is just...quiet. Still. A sharp contrast to how he's usually dynamic and bright and wild.
Unrelated tangent indented below whoops
Lately (possibly for a while lol) I've really taken to the missed opportunity idea of Dick seeing Jason as the wounded part of himself [Dick] that never stopped hurting. Because here came Jason, Robin, wearing Dick's mantle and dressed in Dick's colors - every bit the part of Dick that Dick lost when his life fell apart.
Dick recognizes who he was, who he could have been, in Jason and it's - disconcerting. He hates it. Which would lead to such beautiful conflict that Jason wouldn't understand because he hasn't done anything wrong and Dick can't find the words to explain that it's not Jason that Dick hates, it's Dick. That's why he's cold and distant; it's cruel to walk away, but running from himself is all Dick could think to do.
Jason would make it so simple, too. Because Jason sees the wonderful things of Dick that Dick is too disconnected to remember about himself. Robin brought people hope and Jaybin would do the same for Dick. Jason would talk about Robin being magic, but the truth is that Robin was never anything magical. Jason brought that magic to Robin all his own. He brought it to Dick.
And basically it'd be this story of Dick coming to love Jason and also himself and uh oh I've derailed myself back to our regularly scheduled reply
~Warning for romanticizing of 'darker' analogies below~
Anyway, Jason being intoxicating. This. A big thank you for this, because this is such a striking analogy. With how this relates to Dick though, since this reply has veered strong that direction LOL. But yes, Dick finding Jason intoxicating; Dick being intoxicated by Jason.
Jason lowering Dick's inhibitions. Jason taking the edge off (the mental fatigue, the physical strain). That heady feeling of warmth and calm that Jason affords Dick would be addicting in its own right. For someone so controlled, Jason would be freedom.
In this same vein, Dick being addicting and Jason 'having a past with shit like that,' and 'thinking it might be okay this one time,' and knowing the dangers of thinking like that but doing it anyway because he's been hooked from the start and the high of being with Dick - having his time, his company; being teased by him, adored by him, loved by him - Jason can't go back. He wants more and more.
~ End of romanticizing ? ~
Jason falls back on anger because it's dangerous to be anything softer. He makes himself difficult because at his core he's starved and that's something easily preyed on, taken advantage of (he would know). Even still, he's greedy for attention, affection; respect, acknowledgement. And it's not like Jason is stupid or naive; he's aware enough to know not to give himself away only...he does. Time and again because loathe as he is to admit it, this boy is desperate and hurting. So he gives everything of himself away; he has patience in spades because he knows what it is to be hurt - his tolerance for it puts him in a position to be hurt again and again and he doesn't necessarily justify it, but he puts up with it. He goes back for more, a glutton for punishment or maybe because it's all he's really known. Maybe it's all he feels he deserves.
And it's no different when Jason makes himself a space in Dick's life. Jason is attracted to troubled people; like attracts like.
Maybe Dick would be the same as everyone else Jason has met. There would be a sharp learning curve because Dick is used to giving and Jason takes whatever is offered. Where am I going with this we're veering fast into dark waters LOLOL. But uh. Yep.
Basically ybb appreciates protective!dark!Dick trope.
I've burned myself out on this reply; it's been an adventure hahaha. Not even joking btw, this ask just called out what feels like the next few pieces of my N&R series LOLOL.
Thank you again, anon~ always a pleasure to see a message from you. (人´∀`)+゚:。゚+
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