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#I've tried bringing up the issue I have 2 times but they don't listen
Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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atanx · 1 month
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James Somerton's "A Measured Response": A Measured Response
so I watched a reupload of the video because idk i like to torture myself. and i took a bunch of notes:
“I tried to be a voice for every member of the queer community, but that was a failed endeavour before it even started.”
what a strange way to say ‘I tried making it seem like I’m the only queer creator and stole from and actively harmed people in the queer community. knowingly. purposefully. and when I was called out in the past I tried to hide it.'
“I'm a cis, white, gay man. No matter how much I try to be a good spokesperson, I can never really, truly, understand the life experiences of other, far more put upon,  members of the queer community.”
so of course I stole and hid work from the people I can't understand, gutting it of their personal experiences and refused to redirect my audience to those people so that they can enrich themselves and hear about issues pertaining them from someone who actually does understand.
“...one of the reasons I used their own words. But I should have made it clear that that was what I was doing.”
BITCH YOU STOLE. YOU GUTTED THEIR STORIES OF MEANINGFUL PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. YOU WEREN'T USING THEIR WORDS TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND YOU WERE MILKING THEM FOR CONTENT AND DEPRIVING PEOPLE OF ACTUAL, SOULFUL, MEANINGFUL ARTICLES AND BOOKS AND DOCUMENTARIES AND VIDEOS THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING INSTEAD.
“Being a cis white man I thought I might win over some people who otherwise wouldn't listen.”
Yeah sure. Because racist transphobes are going to be watching your badly plagiarised gay film analysis.
“I would also like to apologise to Jessie Gender, who is one of the kindest people I ever met. Through my hot-headedness, I drew her into this anger spiral.”
‘through my hotheadedness.’. shirking responsibility onto an ‘ingrained personality trait of yours’ I see.
if you are so honestly sorry for being an asshole to Jessie why don't you fucking apologise to her directly? privately? not as a way to boost your own fucking image??
he's trying to earn good will by complimenting Jessie Gender “oh he knows to compliment an awesome person we have that in common I guess he can't be so bad after all” fuck you I recognise your strategies and it's gross to drag Jessie into this like that, she spoke out against you and you are trying to imply some sort of friendship or something between you. okay I cannot UNDERSTATE the way he tries to make it seem like they are close in some way and sort of drag her onto his side that's so fucking despicable. as far as I know Jessie Gender does not have a relationship with him of any kind?
once again bringing up death threats I see. obviously death threats are shite and anyone who threatens the dude in seriousness or harasses him will not see the light of heaven as Hbomberguy said but IN AN APOLOGY YOU DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU THAT'S MANIPULATION
also blaming the police for not clarifying a situation in a timely manner - the police are a flaming pile of garbage and I hope the institution explodes but NOT SAYING ANYTHING WAS YOUR CHOICE. THE POLICE DIDN'T MAKE YOU DO SHIT THERE
the problem isn't that you tried to “create a channel where all queer people could be safe”, the problem is that 1) you are a misogynist 2) you yourself engaged in transphobic behaviour and 3) you also actively supressed queer people's voices. The problem isn't that you supposedly wanted a space for all queer people, the problem is that you tried to MONOPOLISE queer literature analysis. fuck, queer doesn't look like a word anymore I've written it too many times now
(paraphrased) “I should have been helping with making queer people's voices discoverable” this makes it seem like he just didn't do anything and not like the reality that he was actively trying to rewrite history and bury LQBTQIA+ voices under his steaming pile of garbage
also BLAMING YOUTUBE AND THE ALGORITHM FOR ‘PUSHING HIM’ because he's cis and white, like maybe they did, I certainly wouldn't be surprised, but that is not why other creators suffered, a large part of that can be attributed to James Somerton stealing their work without any acknowledgement whatsoever apart maybe if they are lucky, a “based on” in the credits or their name flashing on screen for half a second.
“I should have done more to share the voices of other queer people” THAT IMPLIES YOU DID SOMETHING. YOU WERE ACTIVELY WORKING AGAINST THAT YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT-
“it was just my dweam to be a youtubew and when my videos gained twaction i felt pwessuwed to make mowe vewy quickly and that's why they wewe so shit uwu” fuck off you weren't pressured into shit you just wanted to make money and that's why you were a content mill
“early on I thought that crediting authors in the opening credits alone was enough” what about the times YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT??? YOU'RE MAKING THIS SEEM LIKE THE DRAMA IS ABOUT YOU CREDITING PEOPLE WRONG WHEN ITS ABOUT YOUR SYSTEMATIC THEFT AND OPPRESSION OF THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE VIDEOS FOR AND ABOUT AND THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE A SAFE SPACE FOR. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WATCHES YOUR VIDEOS?? WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU CAN'T JUST PLAY IT DOWN
not him using Hbomberguy's example of the DEEP CUTS: SOCIETY AND QUEER HORROR video and claiming he credited all people in the opening scene when Hbomberguy highlighted he DIDNT EVEN CREDIT MOST OF THEM FUCK OFF ARE YOU DELUSIONAL HOW DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS
I think I'm going insane this all seems so blatantly fake. he brings up the evil queens video and how he asked Sean Griffin, retroactively, permission to include his work in the video. and he shows a ‘screenshot’ of an email Griffin allegedly wrote to thank him for putting him in the title-card and that he thinks it is ‘a very thoughtful video’. only the text of the email header, such as Griffin's name, the RE:, and the To: is a lot smaller than the ‘text’ in the email, which leads me to believe that the below text is edited in some way. And with how hard James is trying to rewrite history, it wouldn't surprise me if he literally rewrote the email or cut things out to present himself in a more positive light. obviously I can't prove that the email is fake but I'll just say that I think the likelihood is very high that it is.
the way he says this also implies that he asked for permission after he made the video but hadn't published it yet. which is also blatantly false.
again trying to waltz off responsibility on nick, saying he was much more interested in production and implying that nick did all the writing .
“nick and I had both grown up poor so when I lost my job in 2021 (approx.) we of course were desperate and turned to producing videos even quicker and plagiarising the fuck out of all of them! but we can't help it we were both poor as kids!” fuck off, you weren't poor when plagiarising every-fucking-thing, this was in “the second year of COVID”. obviously if they really did grow up poor that sucks, and that's why we should eat the rich and redistribute their money. not plagiarise people who partly are poor or not financially cushy and manipulate thousands of people into believing you are the only queer creator.
also milking his mom's cancer. if you were really that worried about your financial situation, one would think that you would get an actual job for security and not put everything into your youtube career that is unstable, especially considering you've already done a lot of plagiarism and have no intention of stopping. “oh I plagiarised because my mom had cancer QAQ” that is so digusting to use a person's medical condition like that.
“i have memory issues because of a head injury i suffered as a child and that's why I plagiarise badly. see, I copy pasted the text with the intention to rephrase it later but forgot.” that would still be fucking plagiarism if he'd done that, also, if he's so aware of his memory issues and how they lead to him plagiarising, why didn't he try to work around that? leave himself notes? or tell nick to remind him to integrate actual proper credit and citations before uploading a video? mark the plagiarised stuff in the document with like highlighter or so when you're pasting it in?? oh but he didn't do all of that because he has ADHD. now, ADHD can be debilitating, but he says it's recently diagnosed so it must not have caused a lot of problems for him so far, so it's probably not severe and even if it is, it doesn't excuse him not crediting people properly. stop fucking hiding behind things ‘you can’t change' because if you truly can't you probably shouldn't be doing this in the first place.
“my mom really wanted me to make a movie with her life insurance but that wasn't paid out so I decided to crowdfund it. i planned to underpay the actors so hard it was under union wages. we got more money than we were expecting and upgraded to wanting to film a feature (final girl) but i didn't want to start working on it until the campaign was over for some reason that totally isn't me just wanting to exploit people for money!”
I'm not gonna go into the Telos stuff but he tries to explain it by claiming it was very unorganised and that's why they constantly ran into issues and that's why nothing ever got done and they were JUST about to start doing stuff when the Hbomberguy video released. You know what, I can believe it, although I am very doubtful considering all James ever does is lie. Idk. 
once again trying to excuse his plagiarism with needing to pay two rents and thus needing to make more videos for more sponsors and not having the time to not plagiarise like please. i don't believe that they were in that dire need of money and if they were - just get a fucking stable job and put youtube on the backburner. 
also once again trying to make it all about him by once again talking about his suicide attempt and death threats. like. no one should suffer through that kind of mental anguish but honestly I cannot bring myself to feel sympathy for this man. and i see this as an attempt to gather pity points.
“nick worked very hard on these videos other three years and it's unfair to [them] (james says that they're non-binary but doesn't indicate their pronouns anywhere? and in the beginning he uses they/them but later only he/him so idk what their pronouns are but it seems like they/them is at least part of their pronouns so i'm just going to use that) that they all got taken down” well y'all shouldn't have fucking plagiarised then. let this be a lesson maybe and don't fucking show your face on youtube again!
he is fucking relaunching his channel. like james. this isn't something you come back from. no one will ever be able to trust you ever again and you don't deserve an audience. he claims all the revenue will go to Hbomberguy's fund but we have no way to verify this. we have no way to know just how much he makes and how much of that is actually going to the fund. i don't trust him with any money. which is why i watched a reupload rather than the original. he's also releasing a new video he claims is entirely by him. like?????? don't???????
he also might not relaunch his existing patreon but he's still making a new one.
he claims he will “work his ass off” to make non-plagiarised videos. like that isn't “working your ass off” that's the bare fucking minimum. I really want to trust him. and I want to believe he'll actually try to do better. and maybe he will. and i believe in second chances, even for someone as despicable as him. but throughout this video he has continuously tried to play down what he did. tried to make excuses for everything. and that's why i am not going to give him a second chance. if he can't even admit what he did i don't trust him to not do it again. and i also just plainly don't want to endorse a person making such arguments.
also, he plugs his fucking new patreon right after this.
“this video is not about me promoting myself. it's about me apologising.” the only fucking person you actually ‘apologised’ to is Jessie Gender. 
James Somerton: makes a billion fucking excuses. Also James Somerton: “These are not excuses. There is no excuse for what I did.”
this entire video was just a publicity stunt. he tries to humanise himself and repair his image. this is just a tool to be able to continue on and continue making money.
he also still claims the disney video was based on the Celluloid Closet and he credited the author and ignores that this wasn't the only author he fucking plagiarised in that video. he is trying to reduce his plagiarsm to incorrect crediting and mistakes and that is disgusting.
the least he could have done was mention by name out loud every author he plagiarised and what work he plagiarised. not just say “uuuh i'm sorry to everyone I plagiarised QAQ”
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silvershiningtarot · 2 months
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🧸Pac: Message From Your Divine Masculine & Feminine 💪❤️🍂
Disclaimer: this is a channeled message from your Divine Masculine and Feminine and see what kind of message they had to say to you guys. Enjoy! Remember this is a general reading.
Pile 1🫢 Pile 2🤞
Pile3🫂
🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾
“Hey, You! This is your husband. I'm gonna come out and say it. I'm kinda little jealous. I'm looking at someone else's success. Sometimes I be wondering how the fuck they got it and I didn't. That shit should be me. So I am trying to build up my business and seriously, be fucking jealous baby. But whatever though. Don't be like me. Baby, please, be better than me don't look at other people's success thinking or wishing that was you. Nah, you don't want their success because you don't know how they got theirs. I am your divine masculine. I dealt with a lot of bullshit from people who tried to knock me down. But I fought my way back up. I keep my head on my shoulders. I am my boss. I am an honest man/woman. I take accountability for my mistakes because I dealt with a lot of dishonest people in the world. I don't fuck with liars. I can't stand them. It frustrated me. So I know you are dealing with a lot of karmic friends and those people are lesson-learns. Don't worry about that contract is done with these friends of yours. I'll be there standing by your side making sure that these assholes don't touch you. That's right, I am your bodyguard, and if anyone has a problem with it then guess what I'll knock their head off their bodies. I dealt with a lot of bad friends in my life who stole from me and continued to say they loved me. Like the fuck! Wack! Forgot those bastard babies. You are so much better than that. Your aura and energy are perfect for them. So let's move on. I've made some mistakes in the past. That is unforgiven. Even I believe myself is unforgiven. But all the mistakes you've made and that I have made will help us grow to become better. But I am willing to change my attitude and my mindset on love ❤️. So, baby, we can do that together. I can feel it in your soul that you are willing to change your life and mindset. Here is my surprise to you. Will you marry me? I will get on one knee for you and ask you in front of the whole world that I will marry you. Do you fantasize about our wedding? Because I do. I would want to take the next step with you. Okay, whoever cyber-bullying you let me know. I will bust their head wide open. My advice to you is that don't listen to people and their bullshit. People love being happy in misery. So take my advice and focus on yourself and our future together. Imagine our wedding together. Once we do meet, baby, we will start our life together. You and I are each other’s new beginning. Remember us and where I'll be your new beginning your fresh start. We all need something new. My Queen to be as my forever. Don't ever tell me never. I promise you I'll make your life wild. I'm already crazy about you, my love. If you find me attractive then that's cool with me too. Yes, I have a big egotistical issue but I am working on it.
🍂❤️‼️🍂❤️‼️🍂❤️‼️🍂❤️‼️🍂‼️❤️🍂‼️🍂❤️‼️
“Okay, I know you think I do flirt with a lot of females and males. But that's just my nature. I am a charmer. I am a friendly kind of person. But with you, you are something special. You make me work for you. There are times I don't like that but other times, I fuck it with heavily💪. You put me on a whole different level than I ever experienced in my life. I have a little message for you, I'll be the type to bring you flowers even if you don't like flowers I'll change your mind about it. I'm starting something new in my life. I had to walk away from a situation that wasn't meant for me. I'm ending a lot of cycles in my life. I'm planning on relocating somewhere else. Maybe, closer to you. I want to clear my mind and move forward. I'm working on healing my inner child and watching a lot of cartoon movies and shows 📺 to heal my wounds. I feel that you and I will watch a lot of movies together. I know you need to heal your inner child as well. Watch some movies and cartoons shows whatever makes you happy. Shit, I'll watch it with you. That's not a problem with me. I feel that you need to pay close attention to your inner child. They need some attention. I have been feeling so lost. I went through some shit that I felt that nobody wouldn't understand. Because I felt stupid, unloved, and not heard. I didn't work on myself so now I'm trying too. I know you probably dealt with toxic connections whether it's a relationship, friendship, or family relationship. If that shit is toxic for you then might as well, get the fuck out of it. I dealt with a gaslighter and manipulated people in my life. I'm still going through it. I don't want you to go through it. Because I don't want you to feel lost or lose yourself for someone else bullshit. It just fucking lame to me. Excuse my language. I know it. I'm still dealing with a toxic relationship. I'm trying to move forward but my ex keeps coming around and I'm still in a relationship. Don't be as stupid as me. I keep getting heartbroken by her/him but I'm trying.”
🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸💐🌸💐🌸💐🌸💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸
“Hey, Baby do you hear me calling? I don't want no drama. Because you're my darling. I'm sorry, my Goddess. I've been hard on myself lately, a lot of fears have been creeping on me. I don't know how to confront someone. Got any advice? I'm afraid to talk to you sometimes I feel that you are going to reject me. I dealt with a lot of false mask people. Some of my friends aren't showing who they are and my ex-lover is mine. I think I've been betrayed. I don't have time for it. My heart has been shattered plenty of times. I am just ready to move on with my life. Are you? I know you probably have unfinished business with your ex and so do I. But I am manifesting new love in my life. I want that new hope so I can have a fresh start with you. Can you believe me when I say it? I fantasize about having good sex with you. I wanna fuck your brains out. I wanna blindfold you and feed you strawberries 🍓. I wanna put all kinds of fruits around your lips and put them in your mouth 👄. Your tongue is sexy. Can I lick it? It’s just this ex won't leave me alone. They won't back off me. Every time I've tried to move on she/he always pops back up. What am I curse? Do you feel the same way? Like don't you wish that we could just open our eyes and then we just ended up in each other’s lives? That would be fucking fantastic. Haha 😂 anyway, how are you? Have you been eating? Are you eating healthy food and water? I hope that you are because your body is important to me 💔 your health is important to me. I want us to watch our children grow up and watch our grandkids play in our grass while we sit in our rocking chairs. As old people together. You are my rest of my life. Remember that.”
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shinakazami1 · 8 months
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TSPUD: Symbolism of The Pink Room
@stelar-time asked in Twitter (I refuse to call it X) post about people's headcanons about the Pink Room and I thought I'd share this here, too
CW for some religious mentions
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First, I'd like you to look at the dialogues in this part.
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The fact that it's the fourth figurine is not a coincidence.
The Pink Room seems to serve as a symbol of nostalgia and of how memories can change with time. They tend to be rough and down the pipe you go, they do tend to lose details or get some added parts in, for your brain to make sense of them. That's why this room doesn't come at the first or last Figley and instead in the middle, as those are more often the parts we tend to forget.
What is interesting, though, is how Narrator questions it. Because a similar situation occurs somewhere else.
At the end of the Demo, Narrator starts to do a callbacks to the journey you had. However, at some point, he starts to mention and show parts you've never seen before. In contrast to the Pink Room though, there is not a single questioning involved. So, what's so special about that room?
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You could say it's only a symbol of a nostalgia and fragility of memory. That he is recalling some moments he felt halky about and due to it, puts rose-tinted glasses which show off in a form of this room. Why hadn't he done the same thing in the Demo, though?
Memory overall seems to have a bigger role in TSPUD.
Narrator overall seems to have memory issues - he tends to remember some of the previous resets (skipping parts of the Freedom run after going through it nth time in a row) and completely forgets others.
That's why he has Memory Zone. He uses it as a photo album, not knowing it's as unreliable as his own callbacks.
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But then, I did wonder... Why an apple? Why does this room show it and not anything else, any pink fruit?
And then, I looked at the architecture of the place and it reminded me of something.
Big window, a statue of some sort on a pedestal before it, pointed archs, to ribbed vaulting... It seems to match a typical church architecture. And then, it hit me.
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The Apple of Eden. Fruit of the forbidden knowledge. Of somebody being there, someone watching, listening. Of him not having fun control over his creation might have been bit when we were jsut skipping around, only seeing part of his struggle in the Skip Button.
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You might be then asking, why doesn't it have a bite mark then?
There are two possibilities I've considered:
1) it could shows Narrator's ignorance that he shows quite often. That could be true since he just tries to accept what had changed, trying to just say 'don't focus on it, it's a silly thing, let's move on'. He brings it up though since he already learnt from the Broom Closet that things untold seem to interest the Player more.
2) It's a memory within a memory. The apple before he bit in. It's the knowledge he beholds and shows us in a non direct way.
Just like the Bucket.
Nostalgia is supposed to give a good vibe but - it doesn't always succeed.
But this room can indirectly show Narrator's progress. The fact he knows more, the fact he can tell his memories get altered, the fact that - he changed.
In ways we misremember.
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cafeinthemoon · 1 month
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Ruins - Part XXII
Chapter 22/?
Wordcount 4,1k
Title Part XXII
Fandom Shummatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok
Previous chapters
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21
Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛
Warnings: Mentions of nudity, undressing; non explicit sex
Tagging @holdyourwine @lilacshouko @shirayuki-ayumi @telvess @alecfromsaturn (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)
N. A.: I don't even know what to say after so long, except that I'm happy to finally come back and put this chapter out 😭🙏 I've been thinking of it for ages and questioning myself whether I'd be able to give these two a proper honeymoon or not, but this is an issue that haunts me every time I sit to write a honeymoon/intimate scene. The potion stuff was something I wanted to include back in the wedding chapter, but it's end up too long so I abandoned the idea. Now I had the chance to use it, and to try to bring some comedy vibes to soothe things a bit 😅
Anyways, hope you have fun! Missed you all 💜🥰
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For you were too tired to stay awake after your brother-in-law left, you never saw the moment your husband came back to the private sections of your chambers, as much as when the rays of sunshine first entered the room. When you opened your eyes, the ceiling and the walls were already touched by the warm light, and the people in the tapestry over your head were as joyful as ever.
You tried to move the sheets from upon you and found out you could do it with no problems. You looked around and sensed the room was too quiet. You were also alone in the bed.
You frowned.
Where did he go?
You took a deep breath and, after some effort, you sat on the bed. You felt a strange, but complete relief with that gesture: your strength came back to you, there were no shivers spreading through your skin and no fear making your heart heavy. Was the transformation finished? You couldn’t believe it’d happen so fast, but maybe the hardest part of the process was over and you’d be able to carry on with your activities while it came to its end. Whatever the case, you were content to see you were yourself again.
You left the bed and headed to the bathroom. You closed the door, turned on the lights around the mirror to wash your face… and were static with what you saw there.
It was still you in the reflection, the same eyes, nose, lips and all, but at the same time it wasn’t. You saw a refreshed, cleaner version of you, with an inhuman glow in the lilac of your eyes and a flawless skin to cover each spot. Yes, you were sure it was still you, but more beautiful, more gracious, even without a layer of makeup and a disheveled hair to frame your expression.
So… this is how being a goddess feels like.
You smiled to yourself.
It’s not that bad.
You brushed your hair (which, understandably, took you more time than you were used) and finished your personal care session without taking your eyes off the mirror. You were a bit ashamed for being so vain, but after all the agonizing hours you had to endure to reach those looks, you couldn’t deny yourself such contentment.
You left the bathroom and searched for your robe. You found it on the same chair Hades left his own the night before. You dressed it and looked around, still finding his absence strange. It was when a soft, rhythmic sound reached your ears – his voice, brought by the breeze entering through the balcony, came to you in the form of a song, but you couldn’t recognize the words at first; you frowned and listened for a while, until you realized he was singing in Ancient Greek.
You smiled. You’ve already heard him sing before, but it was never that sweet. From what you’ve learned during his lessons, you were able to understand some verses, which, in the modern language, was something like this:
Under the red skies
Of the first day of Winter
I saw you
Your tiny feet running upon the ruins
Of the Temple of Love
Where after your touch
White flowers would grow
Would you mind
If I took you away with me?
Would you mind
If I hid you away?
As we built our secret place
Out of your flowers
And out of my song...
You followed his voice to the outside and found him sitting on the small table at the balcony, having a filled cup in front of him. He seemed relaxed, in peace with himself like you’ve never seen him before, especially when you remembered the events of the previous night, with his legs crossed and his eyes lost in the landscape.
You sighed at the scene.
Like a King who has his domains assured.
Change came when you took the first step toward him: the ecstatic glow in his eyes appeared and expanded as he turned to you, swallowing your whole form; he raised an unconscious hand and you accepted it, letting him take you to his lap.
You touched his cheek.
– Hi.
– Hi – Hades took your hand on his and led it to his lips – Young goddess.
A heat came up to your face when you heard that treatment. As much as it was flattering, you couldn’t shake the sensation that you were meeting him as if you were a different person now, and it still too soon to know if you enjoyed it. But you wouldn’t ruin the moment with sad deliberations, so you quickly redirected the conversation through sweeter paths.
– Were you singing about a young goddess as well?
– Yes – he curled a strand of your hair between his fingers – One that would touch the ruins of a dark world with her pretty feet, with the sweetness of a damsel and the courage of a warrior.
– And does she reach her fate with such sweetness and courage?
– Her fate, and much more – he approached and kissed your forehead.
You giggled and turned to the table, taking an empty cup and filling it with the same liquid as his cup, which consistence reminded you of milk, but with the color of caramel.
– What song was that? – you put the recipient of the caramel back on the table and grabbed your little cup – You never sang it before.
– It’s a love song in Ancient Greek. The author is unknown, but it was popular among travelers – Hades explained – It’s much longer than this, but this is my favorite part.
– We should learn the complete lyrics, then – you turned to him with tenderness – Then we will sing the whole song together.
– And we can do that during our travels.
– An excellent idea.
The rest of the breakfast went in silence, but after it you two went to the garden at the upper floor. You were were able to walk through it and that made you happy, still Hades didn’t let go of your arm until you decided to sit on a bench. There were some small trees around it, and you saw butterflies and birds sharing their branches peacefully; a couple of birds arrived, persecuting each other, then leaving as fast as they came, their wings making a rustling noise between the leaves, their little voices at their peak. You laughed at this, which reminded Hades of something.
– So how are your ears going? – he brushed your hair behind the left one – You’ve been complaining about the nature noises.
– They’re getting better. I mean, I don’t think I’d stand a lion’s roar right now, but the birds are completely bearable – you smiled.
– That’s good to hear.
You took some time to silently appreciate your surroundings as they displayed what would be a pleasing Spring morning in Midgard. You thought of this for a moment: the plants, the creatures and that whole environment were those of from Midgard, just everything you saw along your stay in the areas reserved to humans in those blessed lands – and all of them were designed by your husband. You felt your respect and admiration for him grow the same way it did when you took your first walk in the Gardens, when you ate pomegranates.
– You thought of all of this before we got married – you said suddenly; and, turning to him, – You thought of everything.
Hades replied with the same modest smile he gave you when you asked if he was there during the planting of the pomegranate tree.
– I wouldn’t say that. I’d say I’ve work with every necessary resource and with the best people I could find, so everything you’ve seen around would have the power of bringing smiles to the young humans’ faces – he raised his fingers to brush your hair – And, as a payment for all this work, yours will be forever on my sight.
Your smile widened at those words before you could notice. You were really content that, more than wishing to see your smile often, he was also creating reasons for you to show it: not so long after that conversation, he took you to take a walk through the depths of the garden, where exotic plants were hidden, and you spent the next hour talking about them and planning how to include your creations at the Greenhouse in the collection.
When you finally went back to the chambers’ interior, you decided you wanted to spend some time in bed, for your legs were a bit heavy. Meanwhile, Hades went to the kitchen to prepare tea. When he came back, you brought out a subject that has been on your mind for days: the travel to Hellheim.
– I’ve been worried about this for a while, but haven’t had the chance to speak until now – you said while accepting a cup of tea from his hands – Is it too long? Is it a difficult path, or an easy one? How does it look like?
He sat by your side with his own tea.
– It’s certainly a long way, especially for the ones who aren’t used to it – and, smiling at your widened eyes, – But I’m not saying this to discourage you, given that the travels between this realm and that one are far from tedious.
You turned on your side to hear more. Now you were completely interested.
– Really? And what kind of things we find through it?
Your husband started describing those strange lands as if narrating an epic story, going from dark skies, menacing rocks, abysses and terrifying natural phenomenons to powerful creatures, brave, minor deities occupied with their work and suspicious wanderers. You learned to love his ability of explaining concepts and depicting scenarios in a way that the images formed in your mind as vivid as if you were inside them; in that particular case, you also appreciated his power of calming your fears, assuring you that the travel was safe despite the things you were going to find.
After the tea, you told him you were sleepy, even though you’ve slept the entire night.
– I’m sorry for this, because I wanted to spend this day out with you – you told him, giving him back the cup – But I’m too tired, though I did nothing that justifies this tiredness.
– This isn’t but expected, little one – he replied before taking the cups to the kitchen – The transformation isn’t complete yet, and it takes an enormous amount of vital energy. You’ll still need some time to regain it, and an even longer period to manage it when your powers start manifesting.
– I see – you slowly laid down on your pillow, feeling both the sleep and the weight of your future responsibilities pulling you to it.
As if sensing your anxiety, Hades offered you some solace.
– But for now you don’t have to think too much about these things – he walked to the kitchen’s door – Th time to take care of them is yet to come.
You accepted those words and closed your eyes, letting the sleep take over your body, which didn’t take long that time.
***
You thought you were going to feel better the next day, and you weren’t entirely wrong in your expectations, but you in fact needed at least three or four days to feel able to walk, stand and do any other activity without a subsequent fatigue, neither the need of sleeping in the middle of the day. During that period, you were visited by Aesclepius twice, and he was content with your progress, something that made both you and Hades relieved: now, as he explained, your body’s tendency would be gathering energy instead of spending it, so that soon you would be as physically and mentally capable as any other god, and the travel to Hellheim wouldn’t be a problem.
On the other hand, Hades, having diligence as his second name, didn’t stay idle: while you recovered, he divided his time in taking care of you, solving small matters with his brother Zeus, checking on your family through Hermes, talking to Aesclepius about your condition and organizing your travel to the Underworld; he exchanged messages with Adamas at least once in a day, to make sure everything was alright in his domains. You, on your part, spent your time alternating between resting and being worried, despite his advice: at the same time you wanted to tell him to take some rest – after all, it was his honeymoon – you couldn’t do much to help him in this sense, neither in any other.
I’ve been increasing his burden since the beginning. He will deny it if I speak to him about it, but I know I’m not helping in anything; even my preoccupation might become an issue. I can’t wait for this to end.
That was why you received the first sign of a complete recovery with great contentment. You noticed it right after you left the bed that day and, taking a chance when your husband wasn’t in the chambers, you went to the arc where you kept your gifts from the ceremony. You’ve searched inside it with nervous hands and took a small bottle from it.
Your cheeks heated up at the sight of the object, its delicate shape involving a rosy potion which perfume was described as having “its own soul, so once it is used, it will always be recognizable by the ones who first sensed it”.
The gift of Aphrodite-sama. I’ve been so curious about its effects, but her explanations were so mysterious, and I was too ashamed to ask enough questions.
You still remembered how she took the chance to approach you while Hades wasn’t around. She passed by your side and stopped before you with such grace, yet so suddenly that you couldn’t help startling.
She giggled, enjoying your reaction.
– You were already a beauty, dear Y/n, but now – the goddess brushed your hair and cupped your face with tenderness – Now you’re the perfect being…
Aphrodite spent a moment in silence, just appreciating what she had in front of her. Then, as suddenly as her arrival, she moved her hands away and took a small object from inside her dress: a bottle that reminded you of the ones in which people sold expensive fragrances in Midgard, filled with some glistening fluid.
She put it in your hands and warned you to not let your husband see it before you had the opportunity to use it.
– Just one drop or two in the sheets, right before you lie down, must be enough – and, surrounding her mouth with her hands, as to whisper a secret – But it wouldn’t be bad if you used a few more.
You stared at the bottle, barely reaching the size of your palm, thinking of those words.
– Aphrodite-sama, I’m very thankful for your gift – you raised your eyes to her – But I’m a bit confused about it. Is it some sort of remedy, or blessing?
She observed you with a mixture of condescension and diversion.
– Most of the times, if used wisely, it will be a blessing, but in other times it will be a powerful remedy – she blinked her right eye.
It was when finally started to understand.
– Oh, this is a love potion, my Lady – you smiled, then frowned – But Hades and I… We’re already in love with each other…
The Goddess of Love laughed.
– I know, my dear. But the purpose of this potion is not making you fall in love… – and lowering her tone – But falling harder.
She approached you one last time and, with a kiss on your forehead, she left you with the potion and a lot of things to think about.
And now you were there, alone with her gift for the second time, and wondering if that was the moment to use it.
I’m torn between the fear of the effects and the curiosity about them.
After minutes of painful deliberation, you decided to open it and smell its perfume… which filled both your nostrils and your soul, drowning you in a wave of powerful sensations: your feelings, thoughts and memories about Hades were all stirred and turned into one, expanding until you had the urge to pour it out; your eyes were filled with tears, and your breath became difficult as your chest would go up and down in ache as you craved his presence. Even as a young goddess, you could tell that the substance held a terrific power.
Now I understand why she told me to use just a few drops.
You adjusted the sheets upon the bed and knelt over them, stretching for the potion to be poured in the center. You slowly turned the bottle to the side, in your best efforts to control your trembling hand, and observed as the first drop fell on the fabric, disappearing so fast that it was hard to tell it has ever been there. More drops followed it in other spots and over the pillows…
When the sudden crack of the room’s door opening made you scream and drop the bottle on the bed, turning the next drops into a whole puddle.
You sat on the sheets, hiding the bottle behind you as you had a confused Hades standing at the door, staring at you without understanding why his arrival got you so scared.
– Is there something wrong, little one? You look a bit nervous.
You were quick to deny it.
– No… No, of course not! I’m perfectly fine! – you shook your hands around yourself as to reaffirm what you were saying – It’s just the noise of these hinges! I can’t get used to it…
With your face on fire, you fell silent after that, praying that your husband would just accept the explanation and change the subject… but, unfortunately, your pairs weren’t willing to grant you this small wish: Hades closed the door behind him and approached the bed, suspicion filling each of his gestures. At the same time, the perfume made its presence stronger than never as the bottle’s whole content leaked to the sheets on your back, turning any attempt of keeping it a secret unnecessary.
– Y/n, what is it? – he looked around the bed – Are you spreading perfume on the sheets?
You shrugged.
– Ah… Sort of.
– What kind of perfume? – he raised an eyebrow – This one seems to possess some sort of spell. Is it one of your wedding gifts?
You shook your head in a positive gesture and slowly brought the bottle to your front, giving it to him with a shy hand.
Once his eyes laid on the object, Hades turned to you with a strange expression, one that you haven’t seen before, and about which you weren’t sure how to feel; your fingers gripped on the sheets: that was the first time you didn’t know what to expect from him.
But you didn’t need to wait too long to figure that out.
You observed as he held the bottle with an attentive gaze, a smile started forming on his lips: he already recognized the nature of the potion. However, it wasn’t shyness or shame that took over your feelings with the understanding: around him and around yourself, you sensed a quiet, yet steady change that grew as the smell spread through the room; you had the sensation that your sight turned a bit blurry, except for your husband’s figure, and that everything was somewhat covered with a rosy light that reminded you of the liquid’s shade. Maybe Hades was under the same impression, for he stood still, staring at you with a glimmer of hunger in his eyes that scared and interested you at the same time. The temperature seemed to elevate in the surroundings even though the balcony’s door was wide open, so you started taking off your robe and moving your hair away from you neck.
The first words said between you after this were his.
– So… Our friend Aphrodite has her own gift for us – he made this observation with a vague, low voice – So clever of her to handle it to you while I was away…
Without taking his eyes off you, he dropped the bottle on the carpet. You didn’t know if it was anger or diversion you sensed in his tone, so you rushed to justify yourself.
– I really wanted to tell you about it, but I couldn’t disobey her instructions – your voice sounded lower than you remembered it, but you kept going – It’s just that, now that I’m recovered… I wanted to do something special… – the air swirled and heated up around you; the left strap of your gown slipped to the side, but you didn’t mind adjusting it – I wanted to have a proper honeymoon…
And that was the instant that changed everything.
Once those words escaped your lips, the blurry wave of sensations poured out of you at last, reaching for your lover and tangling with his own feelings, pulling him ahead, straight to you: without wasting time, Hades got rid of his coat and shoes, throwing himself over the bed as if afraid that you would disappear if he lingered in his place. You were a bit scared by this new impulsivity, but you wouldn’t push him away: the heat that has been increasing since you first smelled the potion, pulsating all over your body, only calmed own when your husband wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to his lap, your legs spreading and burying in the sheets on each side, his mouth reaching for yours as you helped him take off his blouse with your little hands.
You moved away for a moment to see the results of your work, and the vision left you marveled: yes, you’ve already seen him undressed once, when he stood with you during the worst point of your fever, but you barely gave his figure the attention it deserved; now, with your strength restored and your sight in perfect conditions, you wouldn’t make the same mistake: from his face, your hands slipped over his skin, across his neck and over his chest, your thumbs drawing circles around his nipples; you smiled when a sigh left his lips. You noticed the vine he had tattooed on his left arm, the same pattern of the one on his forehead.
He is perfect.
– You’re so beautiful… – you murmured to him, your fingers brushing over the tattoo – I’m so sorry for making you wait... I promise I’ll make up for it…
You felt his hands going to your hips and tightening around them, bringing you closer. Your gown slipped, exposing your thighs as your knees were buried on the soft mattress.
– I’ll make sure you will – his lips brushed and smiled over yours – But for you, the wait is always worthy…
You felt his hands caressing your thighs, slipping under your gown and pulling it up. Your heart skipped a bit: that was going to be the first time you’d expose yourself for your husband, so that everything had to be in place: you were now a goddess with a well-built, flawless body, but were you feeling that beautiful now? Were you good enough to appear before him with only your skin to cover you?
Heavens, I’ve been waiting for this for so long, but who would say it’d be so scary?
Still, you didn’t stop him, and when the gown was finally taken off, every inch of yourself under his sight, you remembered the conversation you had weeks ago, in that balcony beside the room, and the confidence in it soothed your nervousness, as much as his hands exploring your figure: his right thumb caressed your lower lip, going down to your chin and your neck, where you noticed his hand was able to surround most of it; both his hands went through your shoulders, your collarbones and, finally, your breasts, where he his thumbs caressed you the same way you did to him. A loud moan escaped your mouth before you could stop yourself, and you put your hand over it, your cheeks burning with shame: apparently, erasing one’s shyness wasn’t among the properties of Aphrodite’s potion; Hades laughed, enjoying your spontaneity, and moved your hand away from your lips, putting it around is neck.
– So shy, aren’t we? – and, letting it clear that he had the same conversation in mind as well, – Let’s take care of this together…
He then suffocated any word or moan that might’ve come out from your mouth with a deep kiss, pulling you tighter against himself as your hands tangled in his hair.
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literali1110 · 1 month
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More 6x01 Chenford Thoughts
So I've had some time to think and read other people's takes on the episode. And I think overall what happened is a little more nuanced than my first reaction so I wanted to share my current thoughts and what I liked and didn't.
Starting from the beginning: When Lucy asks to ride with Tim again, essentially ask him to be TO Tim - this is the beginning of where things start to go wrong IMO. Not only does having them ride together again lessen the impact of their last ride together in 5x12, it completely ignores the fact that they already decided they can't ride together because their personal relationship affects their professional one.
Lucy's first spiral moment: I've seen people say they relate to Lucy's anxiety here, so I don't want to ignore that. But I do kinda wish they hadn't showed her have that spiral out moment while she was on the job, maybe? Or have it be so exaggerated. Although at this point I agree Tim could have said something to help her instead of shaking his head and rolling his eyes (even though Lucy said she knows what he's thinking).
I know they gave excuses for Nyla and Angela (although I think the excuse for Angela wasn't really a good excuse), but I do think they are probably more capable of giving Lucy the professional validation she needs in this moment...
At the actual crime scene: I do think Tim was a little bit in a tough spot... If he gave her the answer, she probably would have been upset anyway. And he did ask her what she wanted him to do and ultimately listened to her. I guess his decision could have led to a murderer getting away, so probably not the best professional choice but again, we already had a whole episode talking about how Tim doesn't make good professional decisions when his girlfriend's reputation is at stake.
I'm not mad at him for how the whole precinct made fun of Lucy, they make fun of everyone. It just would be nice to have some good confident Lucy moments. I want to see her PROGRESS from the TO/rookie dynamic and really come into her own. In fact, one of the good moments was from the episode when Tim was in the hospital and Nyla gives her a pep talk...just further highlighting that in this case, her storyline might have been better if she wasn't riding with Tim.
With the fight scene itself: it seems everyone is in consensus that Tim was trying to be supportive. And on rewatch I still believe this is the case because he starts out by saying she should take the exam and even when he agrees she can wait, he mentions she can still do UC in the meantime. So I do think that in that moment Lucy was reading into something that wasn't there and lashing because of her own insecurities. However, I do see the arguement that Tim could have realized that and tried to react to it better.
And that's why the last scene to me felt very disconnected from the main issue this episode - which was Lucy feeling insecure. She brings up that Tim is being unsupportive because of his own reservations - except, he was trying to be supportive in the previous conversation! So I just don't think this was a way the "Tim's feelings about UC" conversation should have been brought up - even though I agree it is a conversation that needs to be had.
(And I don't really understand what Lucy meant by 'undermining', if she's still referring to his "being unsupportive".)
And Tim is obviously upset by that and walks away, while I think he should have stayed and talked to her about the real issue at hand. I've seen people mention that this also ties back to how Lucy doesn't have support from her parents and that's something that we've never even seen them talk about together on screen (we never saw her tell Tim about the last time her mom came over in S3).
Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is there are two topics here. 1. Lucy's confidence and career path. 2. Tim's feelings about UC and how he is going to deal with what Lucy chooses. And maybe they would have been able to have each of these storylines really shine if they hadn't mixed them all up together in this episode and kept them riding together. Have them work our their professional storylines separately, or with the help of other characters, but come home and discuss how it's all affecting them personally.
(Of course, you could argue that it's all connected for Lucy, she's the one factoring Tim's feelings into her decision, and there's something to that, but still, I just want to see a new and better dynamic for them, together and apart, that isn't the old TO/rookie one.)
My dream for Lucy actually is that she goes into that interview room with Primm and just owns up to what she did: yeah, I managed to manipulate 5 police officers in a trade, so just think what I can do in an interrogation room!
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ethereallyjade · 1 year
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Pick A Pile: A Message From Your Soulmate
Chose a photo that calls to you. The message could be from a soulmate, current partner, future partner, or any other label that tickles your fancy. Some of these messages were oddly specific so take what resonates. And remember, It's all just for funzies My Masterlist
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1 - 2
3 - 4
Images not mine
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Pile 1
Channeled Messages - Reserved, taking the responsibility
Their Current Energy - Your soulmate is currently redefining what it is that's important to them. Possible financial issues right now or a big loss regarding their possessions, but they are about to begin on a new journey in terms of money. They could be greedy and immature, or was in the past, probably prone to overspending too. All in all, they're realizing their not happy with the things they have in life and want to seek out better security and use of their time, energy, and money. I think they may be embarrassed about why they're in this situation or just very hesitant to answer. They could have been careless with what they were putting their money into or not realizing/being blind to where it was going. I got the image of like forgetting to cancel a netflix subscription or something and they never even use netflix but months go by and one day they realize they've still been paying all this time. Like something behind their back was taking from them. Someone could have also been taking from them while they were vulnerable or going through a tough time and they were naive to this person's true intentions. But they're building themselves up again from their mistakes and creating a new life, outlook on life, and idea of themselves. They are ready for change.
Message: I kept shuffling embarrassingly bad. This person is definitely very hesitant or nervous to speak right now, anyways
"I'm sorry for not putting time into us. It's just that they left me broken. They keep coming back every time I wanna move on. I don't wanna bring them into our relationship. But I wanna come through to you. I don't wanna miss out on what we have, I can't lose you. You make me feel like a kid again, remind me of what it was like growing up. I feel real happy around you, but I'm nervous. I wanna give you the stability that you deserve, but I feel like I have nothing to offer, so I've been trying to work on my job. Maybe that's where all my time has been going, but I wanna be able to provide for you. I need to get back on my game because I don't want you to ever feel like we don't have enough. It's not your burden to worry about. Anyway, just know that I love you. Always will."
A Song They Want You to Listen to: He Lives in You from The Lion King 2
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Pile 2
Channeled Messages - earthy, simple, "I got you, you don't need to worry anymore", sun shining through the window when you wake up in the morning, fluffy white comforter on a bed, protector
Their Currently Energy - Right off the bat, before I even pull any cards, I'm getting huge protector energy. Like, right when I sat down to start this reading my dad called me and he don't never do that lol. Honey, they are determined to get what they want and what they want is you. They got everything and yet still feel like something is missing in their lives. They're missing you and they are tired of not having you. They are moving full force towards their goals and don't give a damn what anybody has to say about it. They tried to build up a life for themselves. Tried to push away that lingering emptiness by filling their lives with material things, but they've admitted to themselves that they want you and that you're one of the only things that brings them true happiness and satisfaction in life. So watch out, cause they're coming, honey. (I just realized I've addressed you as honey twice now, which is weird cause I never give nicknames to people, so they will probably call you that.)
Message:
"I know you're struggling right now and that you have a lot on your plate, but you're taking up too much on your own, trust me, I know the feeling. Let me help you. You don't have to take all the responsibility. I'm here for you if you'd just let me in. I know you don't want to hear this, but you don't know what's best for others. I know deep down you know this, but you aren't acting like it. I know you have good intentions and I love that you always want to step up and help others, but you know the whole 'You can lead a horse to water' thing? Let them find their own way, no matter how hard it is to watch. Their life is their responsibility not yours. Take care of yourself right now. As for me, I'm battling out a few issues right now and gathering all the things I need. I want to do this right. I want to be solid and organized. I want everything to be put together and perfect when I come in. It may take a second, but you better believe I'm on my way. Don't lose hope in us just yet, I'm nearly there."
A few cards popped out immediately, but I put them back in just in case. Regardless, this person was eager to start talking to you and stubborn about it too.
A Song They Want You to Listen to: Boy in Luv - BTS
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Pile 3
Channeled Message - Loud, energetic, playful, "Ayo, let's turn these lights on" (maybe they're afraid of the dark lol), clumsy, maybe even bad at cooking too but they'll tell you "Don't worry, I got it."
Their Currently Energy - Right now they're just spending some time alone, trying to figure it all out. Something in their life isn't going how they want it to and they're isolating themselves from the issue to debate whether they should stay or go. They're very stagnant and indecisive, but ultimately I'm seeing they will choose to take on a new outlook that isn't based on what others think is best for them.
Message: Before I start, I’m picking up that their energy is kinda slow or distracted. I had a difficult time concentrating and kept zoning out. They may have a lot on their mind right now and it’s overwhelming them to the point that they’re numbing themselves from fully feeling the reality of the situation.
“Hey. I’m sorry, for starters. I just have so much on my plate, work and all. I didn’t mean to put you on the back burner. I have a really important decision to make. It’s hard though, you know? Sometimes I do lose faith. In us. In everything. There’s just so much going on and I’m just so tired. But I know deep down what I really want and what's really important to me. I just gotta keep fighting, if not for me, then for you. I can’t wait to have you back in my life, be a kid again with you. Life’s been all about work recently and I just wanna hold you, watch movies or something. Just relax. I love having little play fights with you. You look cute when you crinkle your nose. I’ll make my decision soon, babe. Then I’ll be right there with you.”
A Song They Want You to Listen to: Hollywood Swinging - Kool & The Gang (This person has really cute energy, they’re just going through a lot, but by the time they find you they’ll start feeling more comfortable being themselves and letting out that silly side in them. Also, you or this person may be manifesting each other)
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Pile 4
Channeled Message: They're awkward and a mess, but boy are they whipped
Their Current Energy - Your soulmate has a bit of scattered energy right now and they're unsure what steps they should take next. They recently went through a big change in life where they had to leave something behind which is why they're in such a stagnant state of confusion right now. They may have just moved or recently exited a relationship, or both, or neither. Just something where they had to move on (by choice or force) and they're currently learning how to be confident with the new identity they've discovered because of their current environment.
Message - They're really good at keeping a calm and collected exterior, but on the inside they're feeling pretty frustrated right now, but they're doing their best to get what needs to be done as smoothly and with the least amount of mess as possible.
"I had to go. It saddens me to leave, but it had to be done. I thought it was everything I needed, but it was never getting better and no matter how long I tried to stay around to make it work, I always felt like something was missing. The stress finally got to me, it was all too much. I debated for long enough already. I had to go. I'm finally on my journey to find what I've been missing, what I know deep down I've always wanted. I've had enough of my old life and I don't care what others have to say about it. I want free of my burdens. I want something meaningful. I need something meaningful. I'll find it. I'll find you."
A Song They Want You to Listen to: Wait for You - Elliott Yamin
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dynamightmite · 2 years
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Since Bakugo's back in the manga, I'm seeing more of the same old arguments about why Bakugo's actually a bad character/person/whatever circling the fandom, and I figured, since no one asked, I'd share my thoughts and maybe dispute some of the more frequent issues people have. Considering my username, I feel like it's basically my duty lmao.
To start with the one I hear most often:
1) Bakugo gets away with being an asshole and his attitude is terrible
Horikoshi spends a lot of time working through the fact that while Bakugo can genuinely be a huge dick, he "gets away" with his general loud-mouthed, crass, rude attitude because, for the most part, people don't take him seriously. Like, Horikoshi goes out of his way to show him openly being mocked (bus ride to the USJ facility, during his internship with Best Jeanist a bunch of kids taunt him, the whole remedial course program with the kids who think he's as threatening as a house fly, basically every pro hero he interacts with), but also has the other characters mostly disregard the things Bakugo says. Why? Because it's made clear, frequently and often, that he doesn't actually mean them. He'll tell Kaminari he'll kill him and not even move. There's no follow through, and he's often teased about it or ignored. At best, someone will express annoyance. The use of other characters as a tonal tell is a method of including us, the audience, in the joke. The joke being, in this case, that whatever Bakugo's saying is meant sarcastically/humorously. Like most things, it's all about context.
Additionally, did you think the scene with Bakugo's mom was supposed to just be funny? It also is meant to inform the audience about where Bakugo got his speaking habits from, and helps show that, to him, telling someone to go fuck themselves is just like. How you talk to people. Pretty sure he genuinely thinks shouting is how you show you're listening and engaged. Class 1A picks up very quickly that, while yes Bakugo has a temper, he's almost all bark and no bite, except for the occasions when he does actually lose it. Which leads me to another common complaint:
2) Bakugo experiences no real consequences
This is just... straight up not true. Just about every single time he acts like an actual asshole, Bakugo gets immediate and direct consequences that occur specifically because of his own actions.
Examples: Bakugo gets all uppity about having a powerful quirk and tells Midoriya to kill himself -> he nearly gets murdered like two hours later because he's unable to defend himself. He tries to attack Midoriya on their first day of school -> he loses their first real fight (in front of their childhood hero no less) and gets pretty solidly humiliated. He goes nuts at the sports festival -> he doesn't get many internship opportunities he gets kidnapped by a fucking terrorist group. He smacks Midoriya during their final exam and doesn't want to cooperate -> Midoriya Detroit smashes his face lol. He acts like a huge asshole at the licensing exam -> he doesn't get his hero license. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
And if your argument is that those aren't "real" consequences or whatever, keep in mind that part of writing consequences for a character well means tailoring them to what that character cares about and finds important, which guess what—Horikoshi does. All the consequences Bakugo faces tie into his character growth, and deal with issues that he takes extremely seriously, namely his hero career. Equally—and I've mentioned this before—it is not in the spirit of the story to go full on Gone Girl fuck-up-your-life on characters who start off being less than stellar. Especially since Bakugo basically functions as the character version of a moral litmus test for the audience; if you can't bring yourself to believe that a schoolyard bully deserves a second chance, how can you ever believe that real villains, who have killed people and done other awful shit, could ever deserve a shot at redemption?
Moving on!
3) Bakugo is too OP/has too much plot armor
To some extent, I mean, yeah. That's a fair argument. Bakugo is a prodigy, that's a big part of his character, and his quirk doesn't have any specific downsides or limitations the end up hindering him more than in passing. However, I will point out that as the story goes on and we're introduced to more pro heroes, overpowered quirks with limited or no downsides become much more common, so it doesn't stick out as much. Besides, when creating a character who wants to be the best hero in the world, who you'd like to have even a fighting chance in a universe where almost everyone has super powers, he kind of needs to have a badass quirk. Also, considering All Might is the figure both Bakugo and Midoriya are trying to live up to... that is overpowered. And as we're seeing in the manga, Bakugo is starting to come up short in the rat race. So I think some of the OP arguments had greater merit back in the day, but I don't really feel like they hold much water anymore.
When it comes to the plot armor issue... I see people's points, and don't always disagree, but Bakugo is the deuteragonist of the story, and he's in a shonen manga. Like of course he's got plot armor. Most of the universe wouldn't even function if there wasn't a lot of plot armor, because many of the quirks we see are basically magic and the fight scenes require a heck of a lot of suspension of disbelief. In the real world Deku wouldn't even have arms anymore. So yeah, I get it, but also... you know. Chill.
Lastly:
4) Bakugo hasn't actually made up for his actions against Midoriya
This one kind of ties in with the consequences one and also the attitude one, in that a lot of people's arguments about this are frankly just unrealistic. Like what exactly do you want Bakugo to do that he hasn't already done? Change his personality entirely? Be publicly humiliated and experience horrific suffering? What is the purpose? Especially when Midoriya, the person Bakugo has most hurt, has never once expressed that he wants Bakugo to be less like himself. He just wants them to be closer. Yes he could yell less, but Midoriya likes being competitive with Bakugo, he likes having someone who pushes him and won't put up with bullshit. He doesn't actually want Bakugo to change who he is as a person.
Additionally, I think it's only fair to point out that Bakugo has done most of his growth largely unaided and by himself. That's incredibly impressive. Like he, a sixteen year old with an inferiority complex and anger issues, realizes he was out of line and has a fucked-up view of the world and his relationships, and spends a lot of time, energy, and care in basically overhauling his entire life philosophy. Again, pretty much completely by himself. He takes responsibility for his own actions, he goes out of his way to try and fix his mistakes, he apologizes to Midoriya (publicly, expressing the emotions and reasons behind his actions without excusing them, and without pressuring Midoriya to forgive him, allowing the ball to fall firmly in Midoriya's court), and works to support Midoriya in any way he can, including taking a fucking bullet (slash weird finger blade thingy) to the chest to protect him. Nobody forced Bakugo to do those things, he chose to because he genuinely wants to do and be better. At this point, sure he's still a loud-mouth little shit, but being a loud-mouth little shit was never the problem, and he's addressed the things that were problems.
Basically, the point I'm trying to make is that while it's absolutely fine to not like Bakugo—he'll never appeal to everyone, no character can—a lot of the issues people bring up with him are relatively unfounded or over-exaggerated. If you're someone who dislikes him, cool! Just try to find something less superficial to criticize him for.
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Rouge reaction to mad scientist vigilante who's borderline crazy and the only people who's stopping them taking over the world or going completely apeshit are their fellow vigilantes aka the batfam
They have techs that are so futuristic that some would believe that it's alien even though the vigilante made it from scratch and by themselves
Thinks of their techs as their own kids, probably would beat the shit out of you if you ever destroy it and believe me when I say that's not a good thing for you (they have a rocket hammer. *Softly* Don't.)
I took this opportunity to delve into an idea I've been playing around with and I had a great time. Also catch the references and you get brownie points!
You were definitely out of the ordinary, perhaps a bit more eccentric than most but your intelligence was of no debate. Most couldn't figure out your technology that you made. In the modern world, tech was made to be aesthetically pleasing. Even Edward Nygma had a flare of design in him. Hence the colour green in and around everything. Little did people know that appearances meant nothing to you. Fuction was everything. Even then, the devices resembled nothing to their counter parts. They were designed by a mind that didn't work like most others. You tended to get under the rogues skin as your creations became more and more daunting. Such as the AI robots that look like Kristen Kringle or Gilda Dent, making them horrifying. The Alice robot that's a trap to lure the Mad Hatter. You certainly didn't make it easy. Not to mention you put your heart into the craft. Then there were other things like the large heavy hammer that had rockets making it throwable to longer distances. This was only you with the restraints of the batfam.
The Riddler: Not a fan. Number 1) You seem pretty smart and he doesn't want the challenge. Number 2) YOU MADE AN AI ROBOT DOUBLE OF HIS EXGIRLFRIEND HE STRANGLED AND LET IT LOOSE IN GOTHAM TO FIND HIM. "Why am I the problem in this city?" No, he's genuinely asking anyone who can hear him in this moment. How is he the problem when theres a guy and a group of followers dressed like bats beating people up and they're buddy makes ROBOTS THAT LOOK LIKE REAL PEOPLE THAT HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES WITH THE ROGUES. Plus you act like you have a few screws loose. How is he not the normal one? Ugh. He's just so done with you already. Your intelligence is overhyped and he hopes the Kristen Kringle AI kicks you in the shin. Hard. Suddenly hell snap with rage. "Why am I the problem in this city!?" He bellowed.
Scarecrow: ... actually kind of a fan. You earned his respect. You at least did your research on everyone. That's a nice change. The hammer thing he doesn't really get because...well are you hoping someone will give you it back after you throw it. Now that'd be something. Throwing a hammer only for it to come back. You two could make a great team with a mind like yours. Bringing fear to Gotham with the faces of those who have departed from the living and doubles of living people? It sounded magnificent. Although you were quick to emotional meltdowns. That wasn't exactly beneficial but regardless, it didn't take away from your work. You'd make an excellent criminal. He'd even go as far as to say your work is far beyond Edward's robots. He senses a jealousy in Edward. That wasn't surprising. He should be jealous in Jonathan's opinion. You made him look like a child with his riddles and mechanics.
Two-Face: Listen, sometimes you're cute when you freak out, beyond that? No. Not a fan. Turns out he also didn't appreciate seeing an AI robot of his ex-wife. He noticed how quickly you grew upset and found that rather questionable. Concerning even. Regardless, it was oddly personal. The robot didn't just look like Gilda. It spoke like her. It knew dates. Really personal things. It was unnerving to say the least. He tried not to give you the satisfaction, even though you weren't around. He understood how Jervis could be fooled. When he saw 'Gilda', he knew it was designed to be her spitting image but small flaws deterring it from being a perfect copy. You can't teach an AI to feel the emotions, only copy what they see. There was a dead look in the eyes, empty, unfeeling. It was the same skintone as Gilda but didn't have skin. When hit, it broke like glass. Shattering upon the force revealing a mosaic of colours and wires underneath. It really brought on the notion that just because somebody can, does it really mean that somebody should?
Black Mask: You are the reason nerds should be beaten up. He is absolutely serious. I reckon he's actually a little scared of you. Have you done anything to him directly? No, but he's been around when you freak out and he knew what you were capable of. Some people just deserved it and you were a perfect example of why. You clearly didn't fear him or anyone as you should. He certainly wasn't going to be your toy. No one fucks with Roman Sionis! He isn't going to risk you finding out anything about him either. He didn't know how you found out such personal details about people but he wasn't eager to be the next. He usually cleared off the moment there was any inclination of your whereabouts and he often hid from your creations. Only ever coming jn contact with your hammer. Thankfully the wall between you took the brunt before his arm could be crushed under the hammers size and weight.
Deadshot: Not cool. First, you're a freak and a geek. So not much in common. Second of all, you built a robot of his daughter so he's pissed at you. You made it harder to shoot because all he could see was his daughter. He's also fairly certain that you are not sane. You threw a tantrum when one of your robots got broken by a rogue! Slap bang, on the ground, kicking and screaming like a toddler and the CRYING. Jfc the CRYING. You sobbed like he had shot your child. If anyone had the right to be angry and distraught, it was definitely him!
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auxiliarydetective · 2 months
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Sorry I'm not explaining myself right
Literally just see you reblogging on your personal blog and then there's fyeah - but if there's other mods, then forget that what I said. I guess what I mean is I see you interacting with the same handful of people or if you pick a new person it turns out they're popular or in that group you already talk to like starcrossedjedis elmunson xotejays and others. I don't see you branching out of that little circle of people. You send them asks all the time, speak to them, reblog and praise them and ita just like why you so honed in on them. I don't mean your friends I just mean like people coming out and making OPLA OCs that you discover and like and never interacted with before. What makes them better than the rest of us. All I can say is that they command a big audience and also all know each other already and you want in and now they're your friends
It's like being back at high school
But please don't worry this is the last time I'm bringing it up I think I worked out my answer. I hope things get better in the community 💕
Okay, listen. It's quarter past midnight and I do not have the energy or braincells to deal with this right now. First of all, I think the point you're making is funny because:
1) I actually pretty much never interact with elmunson. They're a mutual-in-law, but I think I've only ever interacted directly with them once on here and twice on Discord
2) I rarely send asks. It's something I'm trying to work on because I would like to be sending more asks but I haven't sent any of them any asks lately
3) Reblogging is literally how Tumblr works? Like, what do you expect me to do, not reblog stuff from them?
4) You literally just described how friend groups work. You have your circle on friends and you get along and you support each other. But my friend circle isn't closed off, which leads me to...
5) I "hone in" on those people because I see them. I don't think they're better per se, they're just there. I've asked you multiple times to send me a message or a link to your OCs but you still haven't. I've been nothing if not polite but now I'm losing my patience. Discovering people and messaging them even though you've never interacted before is how you make friends on this website and it's how you could make me see your OCs so that your issue isn't an issue anymore. I literally looked through both the opla oc and one piece oc tag just for you and I didn't see any hints towards your OCs' existence? Maybe consider tagging correctly? Or send me the posts?
6) Regarding your "they command a big audience and you want in" point... That's literally not true? Some of them I knew before OPLA even released. One of them I got into OPLA. Most of them I literally just stumbled across in the fyeah tag.
7) Lastly, the ask you sent after this one: That's one conversation. A conversation in which, only one of the other three people involved is one of the people you said I was interacting with a lot in this ask. Things just aren't adding up anymore.
It's like high school because high school works just like that. You sit next to someone in class, you talk to them, you become friends. You don't even have to know them before hand. That's just how humans work. I really hope you stick to your last paragraph because, in my eyes, the OPLA OC community is thriving, and I've tried my best to help you. Have a lovely day, my friend, I'm gonna go to sleep now. Maybe you should sleep too, because you're not making sense.
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cloudy-cranium · 4 months
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What kind of wish list do you have? That'd be a great idea for me but I'm not sure how to organise one.
Oh I have several systems I use to make this time of the year less of a nightmare, I'd love to share! Unfortunately I do not have a "succinct" setting so here, sorry :) here's the short version, too much under the cut.
TL;DR: Steps to an easy gift list:
1, REUSE your lists each year.
1b, LONG LISTS! Yeah no. Longer than that.
2, Categories can help
2b, Steal gift ideas from others!!
3, for REAL change your options up
4, Be specific about what you actually want
Wishlists were a pain for me for a long time. Eventually I got lazy and then I got smart. I also listened to complaints people had about others' wishlists, and tried to avoid their issues. I've used like one list for I think the last 4 years now, just refreshed. I have it in categories mostly to help me.
Tip 1: Refresh it every year. Instead of starting from scratch every season, when people start asking for my new list I just pull up last year's and delete everything I received/bought myself/just don't really need anymore.
Tip 1b: Make your list long!! Too long to be able to get everything. That lets you refresh next year, but it also gives people more options to choose from (vital) and reduces their anxiety about getting you the same thing as someone else.
Tip 2: This is optional but I use categories. They help me get more specific ideas, organize my thoughts, can help people narrow ideas down or help with off-list gift inspiration, and can also help people add to their own lists.
**Categories: these are arbitrary and all include miscellaneous items automatically. It's just a tool. Mine are Dog Things, Hobby, Home/Personal, and Kitchen - the dog things are on their own because they don't fit anywhere else; 'Kitchen' has its own category because it's one of my biggest categories personally. Other than that, personalize it: Art Supplies. Programming. Sports & Outdoors. Tools. Books. Games. Whatever's good for you**
Tip 2b: ask all your family/friends to give you their list and then steal their ideas :) works like a charm. I'll add some of mine at the end.
Tip 3: VARIETY. IT'S IMPORTANT. Some people want to be able to drop a lot of money on something you'll definitely like - maybe all your siblings want to buy you that gaming system together. Include it (at least for inspiration). Ask for that weighted blanket you really want. Don't feel bad for including expensive options. Some people want less expensive things - you want a LOT of these, especially easy ones: candy or treats, bath bombs/nails/face masks, candles/wax melts/incense you like, stickers, fun note pads, socks etc. (When gifting, these are helpful to add with a smaller item so it brings a little extra bonus.)
Some people want to buy you something useful. Some people want to buy you something FUN! Some people want to help you by buying something you need anyway; some want to gift you something you can't justify buying yourself but still really want. Include all of these! Give people options!!
TELL PEOPLE WHERE TO GET GIFT CARDS YOU'LL ACTUALLY USE!!! These are such a helpful inclusion!!! Some people are just gift card people. If you don't want generic amaz*n/walmart/fast food gift cards, TELL PEOPLE what stores & restaurants you already go to, especially for things you enjoy. If they can give you 5 nice boba teas one one card, or gift you clothes by putting $50 on a piece of plastic for you instead of actually trying to pick out something you want themselves, they'll do it!
Tip 4: Specificity. Some things speak for themselves, but if you write one word per item on your list, expect to get some things that are technically what you wrote but definitely not what you wanted. To avoid this, list scents/colors/brands/qualities you like ('over-the-ear squishy headphones [noise-canceling?]' is better than 'headphones,' where once I got gifted a new pair of the exact set I hated and was trying to replace); the specific use of the item you need ('spice/food organizers,' 'room organizers,' 'closet organizers,' and several other things can't be substituted for each other); A LINK to an option you like (!!! I learned this from my sister-in-law, where every list item has "like this:" and a link to a model that she already likes. The links will also sho similar items, stores she trusts, more details than you could ever write down & more); okay I got tired of writing. You get the gist. BUT If you include CLOTHES YOU MUST INCLUDE SIZES. NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS. SIZES. Styles too if you don't wanna get fucked over (or!! gift cards!!!!)
Those are the things that do the most for making my life easier. I'll drop a list of examples to steal! Sorry this got away from me lol thanks for coming to my TEDtalk!!
Examples of things in my categories: Dog Stuff (toys she likes, sweater size, things like a better leash or big toy or bed); Hobby (DICE. game accessories. yarn & fibre tools. hair dye things, hard-to-find niche parts, nice markers/paper, art tools, materials, fan merch, new hobbies you want to try, instruction books, instruments, cards, GIFT CARDS to places I already go); Home/Personal (speakers/headphones/other tech, books [please god be specific here], albums, decor/organization, a new vacuum, tools you find yourself needing, stuff for your window/deck/garden, along with clothes I might want and relevant sizes, yoga mat, coats/hats/clothes for the weather, memberships or subscriptions); Kitchen (replacement dishes, nice appliances, accessories, high-quality ingredients, more tools I'd like but can't afford)
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visceramon · 2 years
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When a group who's never listened to is finally given the spotlight for an issue they're always laughed at about, maybe you should sit the fuck down and not make make it about YOUR fucking issues. We already know about them and I'm fucking angry about that too. But how many stories have YOU read of men calling the cops on their abusive girlfriends, wives, even family, only for the cops to show up and
1. ARREST HIM
2. Tell him he MUST have done something to provoke her
3. DO NOTHING
Do victims of every gender struggle to be heard and taken seriously? Yes.
Are women and afab abused more? Yes.
Do MEN and amab struggle more to be heard/taken seriously when their abuser is a woman? Even with an ass tonne of evidence? Fucking YES. And that's ALL we want to talk about. It's STILL a fucking uphill battle. Don't even get me started on paternal rights and child abuse.
This is a huge problem I've been observing forever because I frequent places dominated by all genders, and trust me when it only takes one man brave enough to recall his instance to inspire others to talk about theirs. And in their experiences, when trying to talk about it, are ALWAYS shut down first. And that's all it takes for them to shut down for good until someone infers belief. But even then it's online. All under usernames, technically anonymous and still unreported. If you want to talk about underreported crimes.
You're basically doing that to them AGAIN. Downplaying abuse because of their gender/sex.
And I'm not erasing statistics of women or afab being largely likelier victims abuse. Truly. But nobody is saying a men being abusive lessens when a woman is abusive.
Men, by definition still can't be "raped" by women in most places.
My own abuse - This gives me the kick to talk about how my own ex-girlfriend punched me when they were upset at me the last time I saw them. Unfortunately I, downplayed it trying to protect her. It was humiliating and traumatic to think about as I carried it through the years, and have only ever told two people. I thought it wasn't that bad, I thought I deserved it, I thought I had to be strong, I thought a lot of things victims do, but I finally feel ready to speak up about it. I am a man who was groomed, emotionally, and physically abused by a woman. And since they got off scot free, they forgives THEMSELF. They acted like the victim and made me reassure them of their character. They don't expect me to talk about it. They also don't think it was that bad. Guess why.
It's repulsive to make excuses or shift blame, or to fucking be like "reminder, MEN still abuse". SHUT THE FUCK UP. THAT'S NOT THE NARRATIVE RIGHT NOW. How can you expect anyone to be sympathetic to your plight if you act so selfish and venomously when it comes to anyone else because it's your gender that's under scrutiny. This trial still isn't being treated the same way it would if the genders were reversed. Amber purposely tried to pull every "I'm a woman so I'M the victim" card and even belittled his masculinity in attempts to silence him and turn courts in her favour. It's taken a big name celebrity to bring light to this issue and despite his privilege and mountain of evidence and footage of Amber being just evil, it's still an exhaustive and traumatic battle. Just imagine if the genders were reversed. It would still be a battle of money and privilege, but everyone would for sure be on Depp's side from the start. You can't say you're for all victims regardless of sex and gender then try to throw men under the bus because we're acknowledging that women can also be EVIL. Acknowledge that women who do this, do this because they fucking know they can get away with it. And god FORBID men protect themselves or fight back because then their case absolutely will not be fair.
If you wanna make a debilitating and heart breaking issue about abuse into an issue of fucking statistics and not treat it as men as people, individuals, and victims, then eat shit.
You'll struggle to FIND Men's Only shelters and if you do, it will not be safe or sanitary because nobody gives a fuck about men who need to feel safe because nobody BELIEVES men need to feel safe...or deserve it. You get brushed off and sent to dangerous places. Women thankfully have multiple resources for escaping, healing, and getting justice from men/amab abusers but men don't have the same resources if any. If they even have the strength to reach out, the strength to fight, either others laughter or disbelief; their likeliness to lose a court case against an abusive woman is... disgustingly high.
Talk about THAT for once.
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The only kind of fair ML blog I can think of is Immaturity of Thomas Astruc (or IOTA). It started out as a blog dedicated to exposing Astruc's behavior on Twitter, but now it's an ongoing critique of the whole show. The guy who runs it tries really hard to give the show a fair shake, and it brings up some interesting concepts and criticisms. The only issues are that it can lean a little heavily on the cynical side, and it's also pretty harsh on Adrien. Might be good to poke through, just to see.
This is in response to this post.
Thanks for the suggestion, but yeah... Reading through episode reviews, it was just... too much. They really seemed to hate Adrien, and it was someone with the same mindset that prompted my original post 😅 For instance, there were points about Adrien shouldn't think of Marinette as one of his best friends because they only spend time together in a larger group, when it's required externally, or by coincidence, which, first, does not mean you can't be very close friends, and, second, ignores the events of episodes it literally cites. Take Kung Food - Adrien went out of his way to go to help Marinette, then continued to hang out with her specifically even after it was shown he didn't need to.
I mean, I know Adrien is not perfect, but it felt a bit like it was missing the point.
I'm not here to yuck anyone's yums. People can enjoy whatever they want for whatever reason. For me, I came to this show understanding the premise of the two superheroes in love with each other without realising it; the love square. That's what drew me in, and that's always what I've liked the show for. Without that aspect, I wouldn't have watched the show in the first place, and I certainly wouldn't have watched more than a few episodes. If I didn't enjoy the love square, I wouldn't be here. Part of why I find it confusing that people watch the show and don't like the love square - I don't get what they like about the show.
The shows writing is flawed at best and just bad at worst. Astruc, certainly, has a lot of issues. I can understand not liking the writing, but it feels weird to me to hatebon the characters for being written badly. Adrien is clearly intended to be a kind, loving boy, who has suffered years of neglect and abuse, who just wants to have friends and be a normal kid - who takes the opportunity as a hero to relax from the public image expected of him to be a little silly (yes, often at inappropriate times, which is one of his defining flaws, because a good character SHOULD have flaws), who is also genuinely enamoured by his partner. He's also a 14 year old boy who doesn't always know the appropriate way to handle his feelings. Him being a bad partner, or manipulative, or refusing to listen - the premise of the show makes it pretty clear that that isn't who the character should be. I get mad at the writers for that, not the character - we've seen time after time that development will get ignored or retconned away to fit a story. We're supposed to believe in Puppeteer 2 that Adrien thinks Marinette hates him? That's a fault of the writing.
Any major character is subject to this. Chloé gets it worst of all, with her redemption arc having a dozen different starts, culminating in her just choosing to help the villain publicly and then straight up acting like an outright villain in her daily life - the harness she used to descend from the ceiling in Gabriel Agreste?? I'd expect that from Looney Tunes, not a show with an ongoing plot that wants the overall story to be taken seriously.
This has becoming super rambly. Sorry to anyone who's actually read all this. Just, for me, I guess the discussion about the show I want to see would be more about the flaws and merits of the writing, not pinning the writers' failures on mishandled characters. For instance, the good: the serialisation of most of season 4, with Alya's arc supporting Ladybug, Luka's arc with Jagged, etc. The bad: the show regressing to treating Cat Noir as a sidekick as time has gone on - and this is more season's 2 and 3 I mean than 4. I mean Fu leaving him in the dark because Plagg failed to bring Adrien to him, only meeting him once to give him the power ups and mot giving him the same knowledge and training as his partner, when Fu should have known from his monitoring of Adrien's situation had badly Adrien needed support. And if you want to do an arc where Cat Noir feels neglected and left out, show that he and Ladybug both have valid perspectives, instead of him just being petulant, because the overall characterisation and narrative tell us that he shouldn't just be petulant, that's a failure on the writing, not the character. Maybe don't go including a remote controlled toy that can be used for anonymous communication in a between season special and then make their inability to contact each other a major plot point of the next season. Maybe have them TALK and understand each other and have apologies go both ways and just uuggghhh
But like, Fu not giving Adrien the best treatment? That doesn't feel necessarily like a flaw on the part of the writing, but a flaw from the character, which can be GOOD for the show. We know Fu isn't perfect, and Su-Han makes this even more clear after the fact. All of that can be used in an effective way to set up Adrien feeling like he's being left out. The setup is there; his decision to leave in Kuro Neko could have been impacted by Nino telling him that he and Alya know about each other's identity - which Cat Noir can't talk to Ladybug about, because he can't explain that he knows Nino well enough to tell him, and Adrien can't talk about because why should it matter to Adrien? But instead he's just angry that he wasn't involved and refuses to wait 5 minutes, or just arrange a time during a patrol or whatever to talk about it, and how they could make arrangements. Say, they could make plans so that, in future, he could handle distributing and collecting some Miraculous. Maybe even storing them separately so they're not all in the same place, liable to ALL get stolen if one is like in the season 3 finale - his petulance here doesn't feel, to me, like a character flaw, but a writing flaw.
Oh, and while we're at it, maybe stop trying to claim that the identity reveal/them dating (which could easily be two separate things, but no, let's just have two alternate timeline episodes essentially exploring the same concept instead of any real shakeup of that formula, except the second one ontributes even less to the overall plot than the first because this time nobody knows anything about it) would lead to Gabriel winning/end of the world, because 1) their relationship is the hook of the show, your unique selling point, and you've already made clear that it's endgame, and 2) it's blatantly false, in both instances it was because Gabriel found out, which had almost nothing to do with any of it - you're telling me that Gabriel catches them because he overhears Adrien say "my Lady", which could easily just be, like, him emulating Cat Noir, or SO many other things, yet he's never simply overheard Adrien talking to Plagg? The problem has NOTHING to do with the relationship, and trying to force us to think that with Cat Blanc and Ephemeral is just insulting.
More rambling. Point is: I want content that recognises both the flaws and merits of the characters in a positive way, and recognises that the failures are a product of the writing - whilst also recognising that the writing has done a LOT of cool stuff.
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lamb-lord123 · 1 day
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Hello, the joy doctor artist here. I'm sorry if this is gonna be weird but I just wanted to ramble about my problems and if someone also have it? Cause you seem like a person who understands and listens to people qwq
Idk how to start but I always had this kind of problems with being too much "overstimulated" most of the time...? But lately it got worse. Like, I wake up, I'm horny, someone touches me, anyone, just putting their on my shoulder while we talk, I get horny, I'm in stressfull situation (In 2 months I'm about to graduate So it's even worse rn) I get horny, suddenly I get an idea and my imagination goes boom even in the middle of important class, I'm taking a bath, shower, while trying to fall asleep... This nearly happening every day. Sometimes it leads to where I can't help it and right in the morning I have to masterbate, even 3 times in a row which leads me to being exhausted from the beginning of the day like I didn't even sleep that night. And when I'm done I'm just disgusted with myself.
I was thinking about going to see some doctor cause I was thinking that It's something like hypersexuality (I think it's named like that but I'm not sure) but it just feels embarrassing and humilitating. Talking about it with my family? There's no way since I'm from czech where I live in a family of conservative women who are alcoholics.
Sometimes I'm thinking if it's maybe because I'm a virgin? Touch starved? Maybe because my brother showed me BDSM pornography on our family computer when I was just 6? (My brother was like 12 by then) Never been in relationship? "Just find some girlfriend or boyfriend!" Ok but I just can't imagine or feel good by being in a relationship with someone my age. (Idk it just feels weird to me...) I just want to to be cuddled and comforted by some older woman/men.
I'm sorry if this is too much confusing and doesn't make sense. I just wanted to talk to someone about this stuff.
Haiii!! (≡^∇^≡)
I understand!! And if it is affected your day to day life or is making you worry I think it would be good to ask for help or therapy by a professional if you wanted it, everyone deserves to feel better no matter the reason. and also you're human!! You don't need to feel bad or gross for trying to help yourself ( not trying to sound creepy I'm so sorry if it comes across like that idk how else to say it 😭😭😭)
And I get it too, I just get overstimulated in general all the time, and I'm also a virgin and I grew up religious so I was taught that feeling like this was bad so I can't ever really understand what *these* types of feeling are plus exactly, like I can talk about funny goofy fan fiction ideas online but if I even tried to understand/ explore it irl I wouldnt be able to understand it at all and id probably get flustered, idk how to explain it like others can and it's really frustrating/ I don't really touch myself at all though because I always feel like I'm being watched so I can't bring myself to ( literally no matter how much I feel it I'll do everything in my power to avoid/ try to ignore it and I just end up getting really frustrated/ overstimulated over it, and I have tried before and idk how to do it, and actual pornography videos scare me to death since I accidentally found it when I was little too so I never watched it since😭😭😭)
And I understand the relationship thing too!! I've never really dated either and I've kinda just been friends with People rather than romantic my whole life because I don't like people my age, like even people my age who have tried to do stuff like that with me I got so scared (had like actual panic attacks) and mad any excuse possible not to 😭, and I've been saving myself for and older man/ woman ( also major tmi another reason why I don't touch myself because I like to feel needy lol I'm so sorry pls don't shank me) also Ive had really major daddy issues my whole life so Ive never imagined myself with someone who wouldn't cuddle/ basically be the father figure I never got to experience. :3
Feelings are so scary and the human body is too like why is this stuff so confusing😭
And I'm always here to listen!!! I'll answer any ask!!! (yk so long as it's not an actual death threat or something some ppl are scary 😭)
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girltomboy · 5 months
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This week has been better at taking my mind off the shit that was bothering me. My bf and I managed to work out the one thing that was on his mind and stressing me out, but I feel some type of way about the fact that I had to be upset about it and it had to waste our precious time. Also we've been having these mild and petty communication issues, like during our calls I barely get to talk about stuff cause he's either not paying attention or he's making these crude jokes that I've pointed out before. And he still makes them. And when I get visibly upset and tell him to stop he gets confused and doesn't even acknowledge what I'm saying. I don't like having to ask to be listened?? Especially when it comes to serious matters. Like maybe it's my fault for letting too much slide, but also common sense exists and he's familiar with it. I can't imagine he doesn't know that behaviour is icky. But anyway I'm gonna bring it up soon and repeat myself if I have to... But it's not that huge a deal, just stuff that piles up and builds resentment.
So this week I worked at the office again with my work bestie, and on Tuesday we went out for dinner and had the most amazing meal at this one really good high quality cheap place. And our ex coworker came to the city too and joined us to say hi and chat. It was a lot of fun and I missed him. On Wednesday we went to this pub for "a quick glass of wine" cause we had to meet our other friend at another pub and help her out with quiz night. So we ordered 2 Sambucas and 2 glasses of rosé. Sambuca was BAD I HATE IT but the wine was so delicious we ordered another one each 🤭 and there was this lady walking around, and my friend said she looks like this actress from my country, let's say Judy. Then the waiter comes to our table and asks if we want to have a free taste of some rosé wine, so we're like sure! In the meantime we were trying to have a serious conversation for once, and then my friend's labradorite bracelet snaps and breaks, sending labradorite balls everywhere. We never tried to talk seriously again after that. Lo and behold the lady from earlier comes over to our table, introduces herself as JUDY, and starts talking about wine. My friend and I could barely hold back from exploding into hollering laughter, so we went outside for a cigarette afterwards. That's where the waiter finds us again and gives us 2 shots on the house. At this point it's like the universe is conspiring to get us drunk. So we paid and left to meet our friend for her quiz night, but we were already quite tipsy so we could not stop laughing like hyenas during the quiz & intermission. But we did help our friend grade the papers and calculate total points. And we had 2 more glasses of rosé 💀 bold of us! Some ppl actually came up to us and were like "sorry we just wanna say we love your vibes and were hoping you'll stay for karaoke" my man I am focusing on putting one foot in front of the other! But thank you sincerely for the offer ❤️ and it was none other but the "eraserhead haircut" guy that my friend pointed out to me and made me slide under the table with laughter. Anyway, yesterday I was all hungover and could barely work but today I'm better and looking forward to resting and chilling during the weekend. And I might go visit my parents at their new house soon! So very excited about that 💜
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racingtoaredlight · 6 months
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Goodnight, Sweet Prince
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Disclaimer: You don't want to read this...it's brutal. I won't take offense if you don't read, but please keep unrelated comments on the Open Thread that will post shortly.
***
This is my 4th attempt at writing something that Willie 100% deserves, but I keep breaking down and I just can't stop crying. I loved him so much, it's just ripping me apart. I loved him so goddamned much.
I was so proud to be his owner. I fucking hate that term, I just don't know what else to use.
I took him everywhere I could. Everywhere he went, he drew people in...this isn't hyperbole, at least once per week I'd be stopped by someone driving and spend a minute or two chatting about him. He was everything I ever wanted in a dog...from his athleticism to his personality to his sense of humor.
Every day I'd get in my car to go home from work, I'd excitedly start my car and say "I'm comin' Willie!" But now he's gone. He's not there to come home to anymore. I walk around my house looking for him and he's just not there.
***
My past four months have been a form of hell, and I've tried really hard not to bring it here...but it's just really hard when that's all you can think about.
I've known my father was going to die since his two heart attacks on the same weekend seven and a half years ago. Those heart attacks happened a month after my beloved grandmother passed away.
I've talked about my issues with manic depression in the past, as well as openly discussed that I've been a danger to myself in the past.
When I was on that edge, my first thought was "if I die, nobody will take Willie, and he'll end his life in a shelter waiting for anyone to adopt him." How could I do that to him again? Despite the shitstorm going on in my brain, even in that state, thinking of him cut through it enough to bring me back.
I don't say this lightly...if it weren't for Willie, I would not be here.
***
My father is in hospice and will likely pass within a week or so. The past four months have featured numerous trips to the ER, doc visits, tests, you name it...pretty much all week, every other week as the doctors kept trying their best to keep a man with a 6% functioning heart and 11% functioning kidneys alive.
The easy parts were running to his place to water his plants. Or coming over in the morning to make him a milkshake while we listen to music. The hard parts have been hanging up the phone or leaving his place, and the first thing that runs through my mind is "will this be the last conversation we ever have?"
The medium hard parts were running to the grocery store or the pharmacy in between meetings. Or preparing him 3 days worth of food in the 45 minutes I had before a guitar lesson. And 1.5 of those days I'd be throwing out the next time I stopped by.
The hardest part was wondering who'd go first.
I never complained about any of this. I'd do it again for the both of them without a conscious thought because I love them both so much. But it wears on you. Month after month does a toll.
***
I've been doing all of this, on top of an insane pace at work, on almost no sleep.
The vet told me to keep a diary of his health throughout all this. You notice a string of bad days, but the first good day and a half and all of the sudden that concern washes away. Keeping a diary allows you to get a relatively objective look at your dog's health, and notice long-term trends.
Unfortuantely...as I've known with my dad's heart condition, sleep is a big factor...I tracked Willie's sleep and got a wonderful look every day at how little I'd gotten over months. Months.
And I knew I lied in the diary. I didn't want to admit to myself that Willie's condition was getting so much worse...even if I couldn't ignore the 8th straight day he'd wake me up before 3am. Let me put it this way...in the last three months, I've had six full nights of sleep. Another 12 of days he woke me up after 3am. Every other day was a 2-3am wakeup call, and three of those days were no sleep at all.
It wasn't as simple as getting up and letting him outside to relieve his fading bladder...the next hours before I went to work were spent comforting him on the couch, as his increasingly weakening heart pounded like hell to circulate enough blood through his system.
He didn't wake me up all those nights because he had to pee...he woke me up all those nights so that I could make him less afraid of his heart feeling like it was drowning due to an edema. He'd get comforted and calm down to sleep just around the time I had to get up and get ready for work.
And every morning, every day I'd come home from work...whenever I'd leave him...there was a simultaneous terror combined with hope that I'd find him having passed away in slumber. A peaceful, painless, natural death.
***
There were so many good memories of our time together, please don't ever suggest that I'm glossing over them. I am at a certain peace...it was his time, it was a wonderful goodbye, and so many of my friends and family have come to his support, that's brought me to tears separately.
He was a special guy, he touched everyone's life that he met. He was wonderful with children, wonderful with others, terrible with other dogs (but you can't win em all).
Those memories will always come back as long as I still have a functioning brain. Right now is so close though, all I can feel is loneliness.
Over the years, I've shared numerous anecdotes of Willie because I was so proud of him that I wanted that joy to be spread to others. But all I can feel is the pain of having lost my best friend.
There's a common refrain "you don't know what you got until it's gone," or some variation of that. I thought I knew what I had in my relationship with Willie...but given this gigantic empty space in my heart, this giant fucking chasm, I somehow underestimated how much he was giving me.
***
The thing that scares me the most about the future isn't losing my father, it's losing a grasp of joy.
Pretty much everyone here knows I struggle deeply with anger issues and have a darker side that I try really hard to keep tamped down. I talked about this with my therapist yesterday before the vet came over...
Willie was always a bulwark against the darker side of my brain coming to the front. Even in my worst moods, where I'm borderline psychotic, even just looking at him would bring me to a calmer, sustainable place psychologically. "Those" days at work? They bothered me less knowing I'd be on the couch chillin' with my big boy in 15 minutes.
As his condition worsened, so did the vet bills and trips. $100 a pop, $450 for an echocardiogram here, $200 dog cardiologist fees, $180 for a Lasix IV there, $150 every month for his heart medication, $50 per month on all the stuff he needed for his arthritis, and it seriously just goes on and on. Thousands and thousands of dollars over the last four months. Nevermind the car trips there and back that wreaked havoc on his heart...
But I would have done fucking anything for this dog. Anything except selfishly keep him alive when he's telling me he just can't anymore...I knew it was the right thing, and I feel like I fucking completely betrayed and failed him, at a time when he needed me the most.
That helpless feeling..."I can't do fucking shit"...I'd find myself at 3am googling "if you love a dog enough will it live forever?" You know the answer. I knew the answer. That's where I'm still at.
***
I should've quit writing this paragraphs ago...I'm just fucking sobbing and this isn't doing me any good. And I can't just talk about the good times, because all I can think of is that those times are gone. Every time I think of something beautiful or joyful, it's immediately poisoned by an onset of sobbing because I miss him so much already.
You all know how much Willie meant to me. I don't have to make the case for that...I loved that dog more than I've loved anything in my life. And I don't give a shit if you think that's sad or immature or lame.
I kept quitting this and coming back because he deserves it. He deserves to be commemorated for the tremendous companion he was...and as much as I'd love to be able to write that piece that makes everyone happy and celebrates him, I just can't write that piece right now. The joyful memories will come when I'm in a healthier state, I'm certain of it.
But I can't keep writing this and just crying all over myself. He deserved a much better eulogy than this, but this is the best that I could do. It feels like I failed him already yesterday and now I feel like I'm failing him again.
Willie was the greatest dog in the world, my best friend, my savior, and adopting him was the single most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life. I'll love him forever no matter what. I'm just really hurting right now.
***
During this time, I've been trying to think of something to preserve his memory with what few skills I possess, and I have no idea how to do this or even get it started, but I want to start a non-profit called The Willie Fund where I can link with pit rescues across the country and provide funds for palliative care and dignified, in-home euthenasia for those in their communities that need it. I don't know where to start but I have to do something.
And thank you guys for letting me share Willie with you all these years. I'll be back at some point.
*The pic at the top was taken months ago, not yesterday...it's just my favorite serious picture of the two of us and thought it was a respectful image to remember our relationship by. I loved him so much and I know he loved me too.
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