#I've committed myself to watching this series all the way through

[orangelala]

ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ

chris sturniolo x reader

summary: you both started off as friends, becoming even closer, and now that chris has finally gotten over his commitment issues with the impact you've made on his life he's sure he wants no one else. what happens when the feeling isn't mutual, or is it?

warnings: angst, some fluff? swearing, pet names (love,ma)

a/n: we are locked in on series time. part two will be out soon!

word count: 1.9k words

ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ᴠᴇʀꜱɪᴏɴ

"i've seen the way he looks at you." she ran the brush through my hair. "it's not in a friend way either."

she was wrong, but it didn't stop my pulse from spiking with anticipation. "how does he look at me?"

fiona smiled. "like he never wants to look away."

"what is that supposed to mean?" "it means he loves you, its so obvious. how could you be so blind?" "if you mean in a friend way, then yes, yes he does" fiona sigh turning me around in the chair. "how long have we been friends?" "since kindergarten" "exactly. i know you better than anyone. preferably better than you know yourself. which means i know you feel the same"

fiona smiles once more before turning me around and grabbing the brush to help do my hair now. as if the discussion was over but was she right? was he really looking at me in a special way? did he actually loved me more than a friend?

she finally finishes up my hair and i put on my outfit for the day. as i walk to my car and get in to drive to the triplets house, i couldn't help but think about what she said. "like he never wants to look away" "like he never wants to look away" what the hell did that even mean? as much as i trust my bestfriend, i feel like she could be wrong about this.

as i reach their house, i gather my purse and some other things stepping out and walking up to the house. knocking on the door, im immediately greeted by nick pulling me into a hug. "hey girl, how are you doing?" "im good nick, and you?" "im great, chris is downstairs, by the way" "how are you sure im not here to see you?" i say catching up to him as he walked to the kitchen.

"so you're here to see me?"nick says putting his hand on his hip giving me a confused look. "yes, ive missed you" bringing him into a hug. "well ive missed you too kid" he says hugging me back. "how was your morning?" "it was okay but nick, you wouldn't believe what fiona had said-" "hey kid, why didn't you tell me you were here?" chris says cutting me off.

"well i was talking to nick, im not just bestfriends with you" i say sarcastically stepping back towards nick. "yeah chris, she's best friends with all of us, if she wants to hang with us because she's tired of you, she can" i couldn't help but burst into laughing from nicks comment. making nick chime in, as i catch my breath i look up and notice chris rolling his eyes.

"well if she's not 'too tired of me' i'd like to steal her for a moment, if that's okay with you" he says looking at nick for what looks like an approval. "go ahead. i'll be right here girl if you need me" nick says pointing at me as well walk away. "i'll keep that in mind, thank you bae!"

"you're not really tired of me are you?" he says opening the door to his bedroom. "of course not, nick was just saying to mess with you. i never get tired of you" i say bringing him into a hug. i felt him smile against me as he hugged me back tight.

"chris?" "yes love?" he says pulling away. "i don't want to interfere in your personal business-" "your my bestfriend, you never interfere. i tell you everything" he smiles, as he reassures me as he could tell the uncomfortableness on my face.

"do you like anyone?" i say startling myself, i didn't mean to say it so quickly. i watch chris's facial expression change. "i was with fiona, and fiona had said" "what did she say?" "well she said you looked at me um in a certain way"

i look away towards the door as i try to comprehend what was going on, was i really about to do this right now? i was taken out of my thoughts as chris takes his hand and moves my head to look at him.

"what type of way is that? he smirks. "in a way that uh, you like me?" "and?" "and well chris is it truth?" i say looking down at my hands. "if it is?"

"chris" i whispered. "your my best friend." "i know what i am," he says against my skin. "what would that, what would that even look like?" "what would what look like?" "oh my god chris, us. fuck. you know us" "so you like me back?" "i never said that, i asked a question"

"what would it be like? what would 'us' even look like? i whisper into again him. "i can show you exactly what it would be like."

i felt him fisting the fabric of my shirt, as if he was stopping himself from doing more. then releasing it and placing his palm to my waist.

"if you were really mine, i'd do this all the time." his long fingers draped around my hip and pushed me against him from the waist down. hot. he felt so hot and hard, branding my skin, even with layers of fabric separating us.

"if you were mine, you'd crave this." he then closed the rest of the distance that separated us very slowly. bringing our bodies flush together with such softness and at such a painful pace that i praised and cursed him at the same time. "you would want it."

but wasn't i doing that?

before i could delve into that, chris's large body shifted, and my back was against a hard surface. he looked at me quite intensely as if he was trying to read me. read my facial expressions but my mind went blank, making my whole body go blank. most importantly my heart.

what am i doing? what was i doing was all that was going through my head. he leans into me, running his hand over my cheek before pulling me into him, closing the space between us completely. i wanted to move. i needed to get out of here, but why was i feeling so safe. why did i feel happy under his touch?

chris places his other hand around my waist before fully bringing his face near mine. his lips were just centimeters away from mine. pulling me in with his hand. our lips had barely grazed. "im sorry, but i can't. im sorry" i say pulling away and grabbing my things.

"wait- what? don't go." "im so sorry, chris," i say choked as tears begin to run down my face. he had looked at me in confusion. it was only seconds later to a minute was how quickly i got out of there.

sprinting in the direction of my car as i walk out the house. i sit for a minute to catch my breath before placing the key in the ignition and starting up the car. it felt as if i could hear his voice around me, i could still see that expression. it was killing. the look he gave me. that look that was pastured on his face when i walked out.

i had finally reach my apartment making me sigh in relief. quickly getting out of car and walking up to my apartment, i couldn't get myself to put the key in the door and step in. i wasn't expecting to come home tonight. let alone be alone.

i stand there, placing a hand on the door before taking a deep breath and turning the key to let myself in. i was the one who did it. he didn't walk out on me, i walked out on him but yet why does it hurt so much.

placing my stuff on the table, i walk in the direction of my room. grabbing some fresh clothing. i couldn't be in his clothes anymore, running my fingers along the end of the shirt and almost staring at it as it reminded me of time he gave it to me. i quickly stopped the flashback that was about to occur as quickly pull it over my head and toss it to the side, along with my shorts.

i walk into the connecting bathroom to turn on the shower, stepping away and looking in the mirror to run my fingers over my cheek, where he ran his fingers over and moved down to my waist. running my hand over the spot repeatedly as if i was still trying to feel his touch.

i felt desperate, needy. craving his touch again. but i know getting out of there was something i needed to do to protect myself. why did it have to be from him? i had no idea but now catching myself in train of thought, i turn around and fully strip my underwear and bra and walk in.

i didn't really remember getting out of the shower and laying down. it had been about an hour later, as i have fidgeted through my sheets. tossing and turning but nothing had seemed to work. there was one thing and one thing only that ran through my mind. that almost kiss and him.

my phone screen lit up my dark room, making me roll over and hesitantly grab the phone. there were multiple missed calls and messages from him.

about to play the first message, i exit out the app and throw the phone on the floor. standing up to catch my breath and placing in my room i hear the door. what seemed like a faint knock only for it to be a bit louder. wiping my eyes, i walk out of my room and towards the front door.

"who is it?" i say clearing my throat as i start to unlock and open the door. "yes? how can i help you- chris?" i say in a very hushed tone. "what are you doing here?" "i wanted to see you, why did you leave? was it something i did?"

"chris, you shouldn't be here" "i know but i want to know why you left, did i make you uncomfortable?" i shoved my hands in my pajama pockets as i take a step back making chris step towards me. "chris please" i beg, as i feel everything inside me tear apart.

"just answer my question please and i'll go. i promise, i just need to know" he said in an almost whisper that rang around my head.

my hands stayed in my pockets; his were at his sides. we weren't touching, not really. i had the sudden, sharp memory of the way his fingers had brushed against mine a few hours before. he bent his face down to my shoulder, his breath slipping through three layers of cloth to warm the skin there.

one of his fingers hooked at the strings of my pajamas and inched me just that tiny bit closer. his nose skimmed up my throat, along my cheek, and i saw none of it. i squeezed my eyes shut as his forehead finally came to rest against mine.

"look at me."

"don't do this," i whispered.

"i don't know what's wrong with me," he breathed out. "i feel like, i feel like i'm losing my damn mind, like your face has been carved into my heart, and i don't remember when, and i don't understand why, but the scar is there, and i can't get it to heal. it won't go. i can't make it fade. and you won't even look at me."

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tags: @nicksmainbitch @sturniolossss @sturnlova @its-jennarose @freshsturns @luverboychris @canthelpit0 @ghostlypineappl @sturnzsblog @sluttformatt @urfavstromboli @junnniiieee07 @drpepperworshipper @ksturniolo7 @samandcolbyfan22 @sturncakez @imwetforyourmom @h3arts4harry @patscorner @iluvmattyb @mattslovelygf @blahbel668 @mattscoquette @wh0resstuff @crack240

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo #chrissturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #chris #matthew sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #orangelala

[happypotato48]

List of Thai BL dramas i've watched with short opinions about them i guess :P

Thai BLs that i finished:

A Boss and a Babe. It's cute for what it is, i loved the gaming friendships and i'm a sucker for forcebook. 7/10 need more unhinged energy from book.

A Tale of Thousand Stars/Our Skyy 2 : Bad Buddy x A Tale Of Thousand stars. this show reminds me a lot of early to mid 2000s lakorns. it's a beautiful by the book love story, i appreciated that a bl got to take a spin on this kind of quiet thai story. 8/10 loved it but still too vanilla for my taste.

Bake Me Please. Guide Kantapon is the cutest man alive and CAKES! that it, that all i have for this show. 6/10 it's a show that exist.

Be My Favorite. damn fluke gawin is so pretty what was this show about again? :P i'm kidding, i actually really liked this show. i watched it when i had zero knowledge about bl industry, i was oblivious about krist's controversy and i find krist acting to be charming and think kawee is very relatable as a cringe fail human myself. 8.5/10 this show made me want to collected weird thingies.

Cherry Magic (Thailand). oh boy this show. it's was everything to me also the only show so far that i've written extensively on this site. here is my personal feeling about this show. 9.5/10 would kill for taynew.

Cooking Crush. what! the fuc$! look look, i just learned that both offgun are older than me. when i first saw the show i thought they were some rookie actors with how young they looks. watching cute bl is gonna be the death of me. anywho this show is supercute don't have a lot of thought about it though. 7.5/10 cutting half a point cause of no samsee x metha.

Cutie Pie/Naughty Babe. what a fuckin legend of a series. all the characters have zero braincells and somehow all the rich pretty boys are engaged to each other and by arranged marriages nonetheless. wtf is this fanfic version of thailand and where can i get hit by a truck and get isekai to it. 7.5/10 still haven't watch Cutie Pie 2 U, i hope it get dumber.

Enchanté. this show is so dummmb it should've go full camp reverse harem yaoi nonsense but it didn't and ended up being kinda boring. 6.5/10. meh, i'm still a sucker for forcebook.

Last Twilight. UGHHH!! i'm still so mad. this show was going to be THE SHOW for me then ep 11-12 happened i legit mentally check out halfway through ep 12 and i basically blocked the ending from my mind. this show came out at the right place and the right time for me, the first 9 episodes helped me through a very tough time in my life. the story of two people helping each other finding their way out of the dark was very compelling to me. ughh. 5.5/10 (9/10 for ep 1-9) P'Aof why are you like this!!

Laws Of Attraction. yassssssss this show slay(literally :P) the show is a breath of fresh air for me despite how very lakorn of it is. i'm glad that there is a bl that feel this soapy and campy cause like i do love my angsty and innocent school bls but the industry really need show like laws of attraction. jamfilm also were very great in their roles espically film, charn is the most babygirl corrupted cute evil lawyer of all time. 9/10 no note headempty only charn's evil smirks in my mind

La Pluie. now, this is a romance. this show is one of the most romanctic media that i personally have experience. i loved that the show took the cheesy premise of soulmates and work it so well to do both deconstruction and exploration of the trope. i think using rain, thing that isolated people as a narrative tool for love connection is absolutely brilliant. last but not least pat is just the perfect bl love interest, he's an very idealized character but he do feels like an actual person. i want to give a shout out to Pee Peerawich the way he said "มันหนาวอ่ะ" in ep 8 sent me, the raspy voice, the eye twich and combo those with a back cuddle, sir! you just commited a mass murders with that move. 9/10 plz i need season two with my baby boy tien.

Love in Translation. the unhingendness of that first meeting is probably my favorite bl meet cute. look if you don't get into a fistfight with the guy you destined to be with then what is the point of life. this show fake date is very well done it's doesn't feel forced like in a lot of other bls and it make the growing attraction feels very genuine and it pay off in one of the best sex scenes in all of bl, yang is such a freak and i loved him for it. 8/10 the last two episodes did got slightly off the rail for me but i still enjoyed the show.

Moonlight Chicken. one of the most beautiful shows i ever watched. when watching this show i can feels, smells and tastes everything it depicted. from the comfort khao man gai to jim's loneliness, from alan's heartbreak to liming and heart's midnight motorcycle ride. this show gave me all the feels and i still can't completely shake it off. 9.9/10 this show is a healing.

My School President. These boys!!!! i can't, i loved these boys so much, all the boys, YES ALL OF THEM! this show is on the opposite spectrum of Moonlight Chicken for me. while MC give me the good heartaches this show give me unbridled joy it's like heartstopper on cracks. i absolutely adored tinn and gun and the show relentless optimism about thier first love. love is awesome no matter the romantic, familial or platonic kind and i think this show hit the marks with all three. 10/10(i'm super bias but fuck it idc i even liked the singing) this show made me started watching thai bl and it always will have a place in my heart.

My Ride. this show is lacking in intimacy but making up by being all heart. could this show be better if they fleshed out and explore more of tawan and his cheating bf's relationship, maybe but i'm happy for what we got. 8/10 mork and tawan were very cutie patootie, i don't remember much about the het and the side couple were just st ok.

Step by Step. man trisanu is exactly the same height at me and i want everyone to know that is the only reason i started this show🤣 . i feels like this show have a lot to say about stuff but i kinda got lost staring at man trisanu while watching. one thing i really loved is the very fem *ตุ๊ด coworker who got to be a real character not just a jokey sidekick and having a loving relationship with a hottie. 7.5/10 can i get more man trisanu in bl plz.

Triage. asshole doctor stuck in a timeloop for him to find the meaning of life, yes plz give it to me. i loved stories about assholes who need to better themself for love and other junk. tinn and tol are both grumpy bitches and i just loved that the show use the timeloop to soften these nerds. at the end i just want to wrap them in blanket and let's them cuddle each other forever. 8.5/10 the last ep is bit convoluted but i forgave the show for that cute clocktower kiss.

You're My Sky. i started this show for my boy suar and he did not disappointed. the pining and the longing for an older boy who been there for you most you life, chef kiss. this show also very beautiful to look at. 8/10 i'm kinda meh about the side couples, i do think they all got the "good ending" for their stories.

Thai BLs that i didn't finish or gave up and skipped to the ending:

Bad Buddy. Oh boy, am i gonna get murder for this??? sorry but idk why i didn't wholeheartedly love and give this show my undivided attention. i watched this show very weird and out of order, i started with the last ep than just watch other episodes in bit and peice. i think i've seen 70% of this show. plz forgive me this is the first thai bl i tried to get into but can't. maybe i need to give this show another chance and watch it properly. or idk maybe cause the way i watched it, it's ruined for me forever. 6.5/10 i loved the rooftop kiss plz don't kill me.

Dangerous Romance. this show is trash and not the good kind, how this show depicted relationship between a rich asshole and a poor boy feels very gross to me. i fast forward a bunch and gave up after the not just dumb but very cruel breakup. 4/10 it's watchable if you ignore the plot and the chatacters.

Hidden Agenda. wow this is the most nothing show that ever nothing for me. it's a perfected white noise while playing chill video games. i stopped watching after ep 8 cause look like there going to be a dumb break up, i have no desire to revisit this show. 5/10 joongdunk were kinda cutes.

The Miracle of Teddy Bear. this show is too god damn long with too many side plots the one and a half hour per episode killed the momentum for me. i liked the show and do think i want to revisit and finish it one day. 6/10 for now.

Vice Versa. why are they giving jimmysea this show. this show is so boring for me, i gave up in episode 6. 4/10 gmmtv give my babies better shows!!

Thai BLs that i've watched all the sex scenes and have no intention of watching the actual show:

Kinnporsche: heheehehhehehe everyone were so hot, too bad i don't like rich mafia story. mile being a nepobaby also significantly killed the mood for me. 55555/dead bodyguards (idk how many there are but i don't care) the ost are bangers though.

Venus in the Sky and Love in the Air. cringe gay sex for the wins. 69/420.

ok, whoo that was a lot. gonna pin this cause i don't think anyone want to read all that in one sitting. i think i'm gonna make another post for non thai BLs in the near future. thanks for reading my unhinged opinions hope i'm not gonna get moider for it 55555555.

#thai bl #bl drama #bl meta #bl shows #dumb boy rambled #i think i got all of them #but idk maybe i'm missing one or two shows #i shouldn't written and posted this at 5 am after staying awake all night but fuck it

[rinzsu]

✩ ‧ ₊˚ IN MEMORIES I HOLD YOU DEAR — GOJO SATORU

four letters you addressed to him slight angst, wc 800+, reader and satoru have feelings for each other but aren’t in a committed relationship, takes place right after the shibuja arc

november 9th, 2018

satoru.

hair white like the first snow, the color of whipped cream, the pots of the plants on my window sills, and the foam atop the oceans waves.

you’ll forever feel like summer to me, like the first of july, when i drowned in your blue eyes and never came back up.

i wish i could kiss you now like i never had before, catch you when you’re falling, and hold you close instead of pushing you away in hopes of forgetting how my heart beats for you and you alone.

it’s ironic, really, how you come back now after all those days and sleepless nights of trying to convince myself that things are better this way, even though you’re so far gone.

i try so hard to forget about you, about us, only for you to barge right back in and for everything to begin anew.

you once said that you hate it when things come to an end, and i still recall how you always used to leave a single chug of sake in your cup instead of finishing it all together.

and how you used to add an “i still have to finish my cup” as an excuse to stay out longer when nanami wanted to leave the bar.

november 16th, 2018

i miss you. it’s been roughly three weeks since you’ve been sealed away, but to me, it feels like three eternities.

winter is creeping up on us, the air is much colder and the sky always grey.

i’m still taking those hot showers in the evening. you used to say that the water feels like warm hugs after an exhausting day, but nowadays i crave your comforting embrace above all.

the academy's halls feel so much emptier with you gone. i used to mock your silly laugh but now i miss it more with every second i spend in this god forsaken place.

it's quiet, and for the first time in what feels like forever, i wish it was more noisy, because that would mean that you are here.

yuji tries keeping his voice low when he talks about you, but it doesn't matter if it's the students, shoko or my treacherous mind that's uttering your name like a useless mantra.

there's so much i couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't utter out loud, so i'm writing this.

isn't it funny? how i tried to rid you out of my life and now there's a piece of you in every word that i fill these pages with, a fragment of you hidden in each of these lines.

november 24th, 2018

i've been watching our series for the third time now and somehow i feel guilty watching it without you, even though i used to do it all the time when you were still here.

knowing what's about to come soothes my mind even for a little bit. so does going to the drive through and eating chicken nuggets in the parking lot while singing along to all of our songs. i swear by now i can hit higher notes than you ever will.

everyone has their own way of escaping this reality. it helps, makes it hurt less, but just like salve to an open wound, the tranquilizing of this pain will only be temporary until all our sorrows will bleed together again.

is this love?

i see you when it's dark, the illusion of you under one of those flickering street lights. once i turn to look for you, i'm left with your blurring face and the burden of your absence weighing down upon me.

i don't know where life is leading me right now, but there's something that's always pulling me back to you.

december 5th, 2018

you're no longer here.

i've met someone, but he doesn't laugh like you do, doesn't talk to me like you do. it's been less than two weeks but i can already tell that his skin isn't as soft as yours either.

he holds my hand but he doesn't hold it as tight as you do, doesn't intertwine our fingers the way you always did.

when he leaves, he won't make it as difficult for me to say goodbye as you did. and for the first time, i've noticed how different people's presences feel.

how different people breathe, when he rests next to me in shokos office after a mission and i can't feel his rhythm the way i did yours.

was this between us special?

i once heard that after a split up, people tend to romanticize everything bad and to forget why they detached in the first place.

even so, we never dated in the first place and neither did we break up, you just left.

and even though i know that, it's hard for me to believe that i'll ever find someone like you again.

©️ rinsque— do not plagiarise nor repost any of my works on any other platform.

note. hope you enjoyed this <3 i had repost this for the nth time because it didn’t show in the tags i used

#gojo x reader #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x you #gojo imagine #jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen imagine #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #jjk fluff #gojo fluff #gojo satoru fluff #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo imagines #satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk angst #gojo satoru angst #with love..

[mokeonn]

I finally actually watched Hazbin Hotel because I was like "I really shouldn't be so judgey, how can I say I hate a show I haven't even watched?" And I can safely say after 5 episodes in:

I hate it.

So I will preface this rant about my feelings towards this controversial show with the following positive statements:

I understand why people enjoy the show, it's fun, the animation is really enjoyable to watch, the music numbers are pretty good, the voice acting is also good, and the whole thing feels like it was constructed around a fandom. Though that last part is a flaw in the overall series, I completely see why people enjoy it. If a series was practically built around making fanfiction, ocs, or fun redesigns, people are gonna have fun making those things. I literally can't blame anyone for enjoying this show. It should also go without saying that I don't think people are morally evil for enjoying the show. I do believe, however, that your taste in shows is bad if you love this show.

I came into this show expecting the WORST. Everything I was told about it was how it was such an awful show and all the horrible things it does. So I was expecting the worst thing I've ever watched to appear before me tonight.

So imagine my surprise when the first 3 episodes aren't that bad. They aren't good, but they're not awful. It's just mid! The animation is fun to watch, the songs are catchy, and the pacing is only a little off. There were a lot of little moments where we got payoff with no set-up. Things like a dramatic reveal of a character that appears to want to evoke a "oh woah, it's that guy!!" moment, but we don't even know who that guy is. A character belting out a dramatic emotional ballad that is also a duet with another major character, but we were introduced to that character earlier that episode and we don't know her well enough to really care about her heartfelt emotional song. Moments that felt more awkward than anything else. Other than that, the show wasn't too bad! I was enjoying myself! I was worried that I was going to enjoy this extremely hated series and how it was going to reflect on my public tumblr image!

And then episode 4 hit.

Episode 4 starts off very similar to the others, and all around, I think it's a pretty good episode if it wasn't for the ending, but we'll get to that.

Episode 4 is a heavier episode dealing with Angel Dust's abuse at the hands of his boss. It gets fairly graphic at points, but with the way people were describing it, I was actually expecting far worse. It has a catchy song from Angel Dust about this abuse, and towards the end, he falls into a self-destructive spiral and vents about how much he wants to basically crash and burn in the hopes that maybe the abuse would stop or he would become too fucked up to notice/care anymore. You know what? This is a pretty heavy hitting topic and really spoke to me as a person who is dealing with addiction and struggles with depression spirals. I felt a lot of what Angel Dust was feeling, even if our situations were completely different. What is the response our little pink spider friend gets? An admittedly catchy song about how he's right that he sucks and he's a loser, "but hey, I'm a loser too! So we can be losers together."

Now, I get what the song is TRYING to say. It's trying to say that you're not alone, that "if you're a loser, then I'm a loser too. But we can be losers together." Which is a nice sentiment and all... but the execution leaves a lot to be desired. It doesn't portray this idea that you're not alone in this world, and there's plenty of people going through similar experiences, so it's important to connect with each other. It instead focuses on feeling more self-depreciating, which is fine and all, but it feels like an inappropriate time to be self-depreciating.

If a person with very low self-esteem vents about their abuse and talks down about themselves, and admits to wanting to self-harm by committing self-destructive behaviors on purpose... I think "seld-depreciation" is the last thing I would want to do with that person.

I get it. The song is trying to be funny and silly with self-depreciating humor to lighten the dark mood and show how Angel Dusk and the weird deep voiced cat-boy (yes, I know his name is Husk) are now getting along and relating to eachother by making jokes about how stupid they were to get into their awful situations... but the song really leaves a sour taste in my mouth because it just feels... wrong. It feels like the wrong response.

The story makes it seem like the song breaks this cycle of self-destructive behaviors and allows the characters to make the first step towards redemption/breaking the cycle of abuse; The song does not fit this theme, it instead just continues that cycle while the story continues on as if it did something else.

I might not be conveying my reasons for WHY the song left a bad taste in my mouth very well, but all you really need to know is that the vibes were off and it seemed like there was something left on the cutting room floor or a mistake between the writers and song writers.

Episode 5 is where I stopped. Like, I can't even finish it. Those previously mentioned pacing issues were nothing compared to the constant wave of hits episode 5 gave me.

First off, we are getting payoff for something that was actually set up! Popping some bottles here! It happens a couple times in the other episodes, but here: a major character is revealed after being talked about and foreshadowed in previous episodes! This really was a first in the series as most of the time, characters were just introduced when the story needed them, causing those awkward moments where a villain or major character got introduced. Valentino was introduced in an episode with some build-up earlier in said episode, but having a character actually be hinted at in earlier episodes before a reveal felt completely new.

And then it was... disappointing. The payoff did not match the set-up. I will state it right now. Lucifer, as a character, caused me to entirely stop watching the show mid episode 5. When you have this big dramatic backstory about how he was an angel of creation who wanted to create, a rebel who went against all he'd ever known to meet another rebel and fall in love with her, a deeply sad man who hid away refusing to take part in ruling hell, leaving it all to his wife? The fact that this is based on Christian theology and Lucifer already has ages of connotation and lore attached to him? Idk I think, "self depreciating, awkward, sad man who doesn't know how to greet his daughter on the phone, and spends all his time making little toy ducks" is... a huge fucking let-down. I understand they're trying to go a more humorous route of "He isn't scary at all, he's just a huge dork!" But it doesn't work, and it just makes me cringe. This alone would be a lot to process in one episode... but Episode 5 still has a LOT of punches in it!

The episode first states that they only have a couple months before the deadline, implying that around 4 months have passed since the first and second episode. Nothing really implies that much time passing between episode 1 and 4, and in the episode, Charlie states all the things they have been working on. Which is things we have already seen in the show. Which tells me that they really haven't been working on anything offscreen during this sudden time skip, so what the fuck happened between episodes 1-4??

Anyways, I could have misread this entire thing and thought far too much into Charlie's stress and the "only a couple months away!". With the word "couple" and the stress the character is clearly going through, I assumed that they were 2 months from the deadline, but maybe I was wrong. I don't know. I didn't finish the episode, and I'm not watching any more.

The first major "hit by a truck" moment was when Lucifer makes his way to the hotel and suddenly, he gets into a feud with Allister. They both sing a song about who is the better Dad to Charlie, and I am sitting there confused because, huh?? Wha?? Where the fuck did this "Allister Dad" thing come from?? NOWHERE in the last 4 episodes (nor the pilot) imply this relationship. Allister is the tumblr sexyman Mary-sue who gets at least 1 new power every episode. Nothing about him out of his entire screen time was paternal. Just as my confusion reaches a boiling point... they introduce a new character suddenly with an unearned "it's ME!" Intro (although unlike past intros, it is ironic).

She's a sassy little flapper who is friends with Allister and whose only purpose this episode is to cause problems to come to the Hotel's way later in the episode, and to give Allister's backstory. A backstory that we really didn't need. Like REALLY didn't need. Seriously this entire show we have been told and shown that Allister is a powerful demon who is feared and not to be messed with. This backstory reveals that he is... a powerful demon who is feared and not to be messed with. The only purpose of this backstory is to reveal a spooky thing he does so he can use it as a threat later in the episode.

Husk confronts Allister about his friend because she always brings trouble, and he snaps at Allister, making a sassy comment. Allister threatens Husk with the previously mentioned spooky thing he is totally known for that was revealed in the backstory.

Lucifer does not approve of the hotel, which makes an awkward scene where Charlie is trying to explain her thinking and her personal experience to her absent father and Lucifer shoots her down by poorly hinting that it just "wouldn't work" because he knows from personal experience. I am not having a good time watching two characters communicate poorly primarily because I hate one of them so much.

The previously mentioned trouble comes their way, and Allister reveals new awesome Allister powers for the 3rd time this episode and goes off to fight off the trouble. Charlie uses this as a way to try to reason with her father. Allister finishes his fight and scolds his friend for using him to fight off the trouble she gets into like Husk said earlier. He then informs here that she either needs to leave or come and stay at the hotel to rehabilitate. She stomps off, and I feel so tired of a third huge payoff with not a lot of set-up.

Allister (who I probably have been misspelling his name this whole time and no I will NOT check) feels like he did a ton of development and growth... entirely off screen. This feels like a 180 to me. This entire show he has been this evil, off-putting guy, that vaguely helps at the hotel, does creepy things, threaten people, and use plot armor powers to save the day or do cool things. So suddenly having an episode where it's stated he has a paternal relationship with Charlie, which has NOT been shown or even HINTED at whatsoever, and where he suddenly turns away a troublemaking friend to protect the hotel he wanted to see fall apart? It's a total 180 from what I'm used to. One could claim that the sudden protection of the hotel was because he wanted to protect his investment, and he knew his friend was using him so he just sent her on her way or offered for her to be tortured in the friendship hotel. I can see an argument for why he didn't threaten or harm his friend when he has killed people or threatened to kill people for less (pretty strong friendship that goes way back when blah blah blah) I can argue about the inconsistencies in how he acts towards the end of this episode compared to the previous episodes of the show all I want.

But come on, you can't argue the sudden paternal thing. That came out of nowhere.

At this point I just, turned off the episode and called it quits. I have heard that the most glaring writing issues come later in the season, and if episode 5 was this bad, I don't wanna keep watching.

Part of me wants to continue watching, as the animation is really enjoyable to watch, and the music is actually pretty fun. But I just know that I'm not going to enjoy myself at all from here on out. It's all going to be downhill from here, and it'll frustrate me. I'm not gonna spend my time watching something I'll hate.

If I wanna watch something frustrating, I'd just watch Jerma play my favorite game for the first time.

#simon says #LONG post #under a read more for a reason #i just... REALLY wanted to complain and vent #also no i did not spell a bunch of names correctly #and also NO none of this is up for debate its all opinion #that one vine like #THATS MY OPINIOOONN #:/ :[ #anyways feel free to skip im probably gonna delete it in the morning #it's funny though #my friend told me he liked the show but sees why people dislike it #and I said I disliked the show but see how people can like it #we're both galaxy brained because that's just a normal take to have on things #no more discourse about it. just a simple 'this is my opinion but i get why people disagree with me' #which is the most milquetoast of takes

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Finds a Coping Mechanism: The Until We Meet Again Rewatches

I've been so committed to crushing through the Old GMMTV Challenge that I kind of didn't allow myself to think that life's blips and bloops would shake me from my pace.

Well, real life has SLAYED ME as of late, SLAYED ME, and as @lurkingshan has noted to me -- yes, there's a CERTAIN amount of dissonance for my watching UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, OF ALL SHOWS, as a coping mechanism, but here we are. I wanted to copy @bengiyo and rewatch UWMA anyway as a means of preparing for New Siwaj's Absolute Zero, which will be premiering at the end of September -- a time when my life will be calm-ish (???) again -- so I decided to take the plunge to see if UWMA would be a salve to my frayed nerves. It is, it totally is.

So here's some stream of consciousness notes, quite unlike my usual comparative/analytical style, just to honor what a ridiculously fabulous show UWMA is. (In my OGMMTVC analyses, I don't always get to gush over the cute stuff anyway because my posts get so long, so I'm doing a little of that here, too, ha.)

I knew that as soon as I watched it the first time for the OGMMTVC that I desperately wanted to rewatch it, so I just gave myself the go-ahead to eat the leum kleun candy. I've already completed one rewatch and am well into a second rewatch -- this show is so damn good, and now that I know the beats much better, I'm just having a lot of fun seeing in-depth the little nuances I missed the first time.

1) On my first watch, I did not appreciate how clearly Pharm was into Dean from the very start. The way Pharm flips through the photos of Dean that Team sends him from the first beach trip; the photo of Dean eating Del's breakfast; the way Pharm looks at the Facebook photo of Dean holding up the leum kleun. And how Pharm reacts when he saves Dean's phone number in his phone -- that ENORMOUS grin. I knew a lot going in the first time about Pharm's blushing maiden approach and how he was gunshy with intimacy for so much of the show. But I forgot in those early episodes -- homeboy was really into his crush! Taking that secret photo in the library, etc. He acknowledged it pretty immediately -- especially in that whispered conversation Pharm has with Team and Manaow in their English class. I had also forgotten that the show began with Pharm possibly questioning his sexuality, but being solidly knowledgable that it was Dean that was causing him to catch feelings.

2) Speaking of that fleeting moment in the library: after having watched the entire series the first time around, and remembering that Dean had saved that very first Post-It that Pharm had used to write a quick note on the papers that Pharm gave back to Dean in the library in... episode 2? Pharm had originally erased his name on that Post-It. It didn't click with me until this rewatch that Dean was able to make out Pharm's erased name from that Post-It -- which caused Dean to save the note, and use it as reference in the very last scene of the series. So cute.

3) I finally took the time to read about Phra Aphai Mani, the prince of the legend that Dean and Pharm talk about in the aquarium. Remember how Pharm says to Dean that Pharm doesn't like players?

DUDES. HAVE YOU READ ABOUT PHRA APHAI MANI? I guess, like, yes, if you're gonna have a super-long epic poem, a lot of shit needs to happen, but Aphai just kept marrying WIFE AFTER WIFE! FOUR WIVES TOTAL! One ogress, one mermaid, and two maybe humans? A half-ogress son here, a half-mer/son THERE, prince of THIS, king of THAT. Homeboy's life was COMPLICATED! I'm all EXTREMELY SYMPATHETIC to chaos, but this takes the damn cake. (And maybe gives me a touch more context into what's happening with that second marriage in I Feel You Linger In the Air, without the actual monsters/mermaids.) (Oh man -- imagine the Only Friends version of Phra Aphai Mani.) (NO.)

4) The first time around, I kind of though that the bits about Alex hitting on Pharm were a little extraneous and maybe a touch unnecessary, à la New Siwaj's style. But after my first rewatch, I stopped thinking so, and I actually began to enjoy them -- not only for how ridiculous they are, but I also recognized that that was the first time in the show that we see Pharm establishing boundaries. Of course, we see Pharm in his blushing maiden era forming boundaries with his P'Deeeean. But the way he's very clear with Alex, putting up as many walls as necessarily, and being exact in his communication that he likes someone else and is VERY not into dating Alex -- Pharm showed clarity and strength there. While Dean clearly liked to care for Pharm and treat Pharm as his younger companion -- Pharm also had agency, and knew he owned his agency, and I liked how that agency was first demonstrated vis à vis Alex.

5) I totally forgot about this, but -- I think it was the second time they had breakfast together in Pharm's condo? the third? that scene where Pharm's wearing the yellow shirt and he drops the bowl -- remember when Pharm asks Dean if he's mixed-race? I don't think I still understand the meaning of that. I'm guessing Pharm is asking if Dean is Thai-Chinese? I want to think on this more, because -- in episode 16, when Pharm goes to his uncle's/grandpa's house, it is clear that the house is a Thai-Chinese household. There are banners with Chinese script on the walls. I wonder if that was meant to indicate that Pharm was under the impression that he himself (Pharm) was fully ethnic Thai -- but with his relationship to his dad's side of the family being more revealed, it would turn out that Pharm himself was also "mixed." I did think it was cute that Pharm said, "I like it" to Dean after Dean's answer -- another instance where Pharm was being clearly flirty, despite the whole blushing maiden thing.

6) I did not appreciate the first time around, how good Ohm Thitiwat's acting was in the car scene when he's processing Korn's suicide. At the end of the series, I was so taken by the condo scene that I failed to give props to other intense moments, and that car scene was one of them. When Dean arrives at the building where Pharm and Sin lived next to each other -- a part of me wondered if he had originally intended to visit Sin, before hesitating to knock on Pharm's door. I'm not sure, and I wasn't sure after this rewatch. But that was a hell of a recognition moment on the part of Ohm's acting, and it was really damn good. (In fact -- it was my thinking about that car scene, and my wanting to watch it again, that prompted these rewatches in the first place.)

7) It may have been a little confusing, but: I really liked that the Korn x Intouch flashbacks were never presented in chronological order. I liked that the show had Dean and Pharm piece together their dreams and nightmares to come to a collective understanding about the trajectory of Korn and Intouch's relationship, even before Dean receives the background information from Sin. I know I was always a little confused during my first watch as to what moment in time I was watching with Korn and Intouch, but I recognize now that that was a reflection simply of when Pharm and Dean were receiving the same information themselves -- and I liked that the viewer was going through the same process that Dean and Pharm were going through.

8) At the way beginning of the series -- episode 2, maybe? episode 3? -- I like that Dean slyly figures out where to park himself on campus to see Pharm coming out of class. This is before the electric transformer explosion. Dean already was so swayed by Pharm. So cute.

9) I think it first struck me as a touch weird that Manaow and Del (Dean's sister!) were the admins of the DeanPharm chat group. But now that I can think more about it -- I wonder if they were doing that maybe as a way to help Pharm through his hesitancy and protect him from the fans. That being said: one of my absolute favorite moments was when Del first leans about Dean's first sleepover at Pharm's condo -- the way she jumps up and down and tries to calm her smile down. I was CRAAACKING up.

10) Maybe it's because I'm Indian, and used to very large and complicated families, that the relationship between Dean being a part of Intouch's family and having Korn's spirit, and vice versa with Pharm, wasn't confusing to me. But what really got me during my first rewatch was: Fluke Natouch's just INCREDIBLE acting when Pharm first meets Intouch's sister/Dean's grandmother, and Intouch's niece/Dean's mother. When I first watched the scene of Pharm meeting Dean's grandmother, a number of friends commented on loving that scene as well. GOD. It struck me as hard the second time around as the first time. And I think I was even MORE moved the second time around to see Pharm meeting Dean's mother.

Dean's mother had to process a LOT in the moment that she met Pharm. She had to process that her son had a boyfriend, that that boyfriend was there in her house in the first place, and that she'd have to tell her husband (Dean's dad) that their son's boyfriend was sleeping over. AND, that was all BEFORE Pharm had his reaction to Dean's mom once he was finally awake and processing things again. And THEN, she knew that Dean HIMSELF would have to tell his dad the next day and ask for his blessing. Moms have to go through a lot (do I ever know that life), but that was a LOT for Dean's mom, and god, I just gained a new appreciation for those scenes and how Dean and Pharm managed the whole damn thing together. (Also, now that I've seen The Love of Siam, as well as, of course, KinnPorsche -- and, OH, Be My Favorite, too! Kob Songsit. LEGENDARY BL DAD!)

11) My initial flip-out on the condo scene still stands. During my rewatch, I rewound it, like... three times? Fuck, man. One of the BEST BL scenes, ever, ever.

12) I loved taking my time to watch the very final scene, when Dean and Pharm have had the same dream of Korn and Intouch thanking them, and they get back together. I really loved paying attention to how all the Post-Its came back, the meaning of Never Forget, all the little notes and memories of when they had first met. Intouch's ring, the very first note Pharm wrote to Dean, all of it. Dean was such a sentimental simp from the start.

(Because I'm on such a DeanPharm kick -- and I know this is against better advice, but -- I'm considering a fast watch of Between Us just to see DeanPharm's conclusion. I know! The side couples are supposed to be chaotic, but, but. Once I get more time.)

13) Last note. Again, when I have time again, I'm wanting to write a Big Meta on separation. I've noted in some of the most important GMMTV BLs, that separation is often a key theme. But I think Pharm asking for a break was also incredibly key, and keyed into his continued commitment to setting boundaries. I think I probably fell most for Pharm as a character with him doing this -- strange, I know, since I love DeanPharm incessantly, but his standing up for clarity for his feelings meant so much for the internal strength he had gained by surviving the ordeal they had gone through. He was going to stick to his guns to make sure the relationship was authentic FOR HIM, and he did just that.

GOD, THIS WAS CATHARTIC! If you read this, thanks for going through this with me! I'm addicted to writing and this was a fun break in the midst of life chaos. I promise the OGMMTVC will hopefully continue without interruption, but that being said -- I'm watching Not Me, slowly, and having a great time with it. But UWMA is my woobie at the moment, and I just love having fallen in love with this show.

#until we meet again #uwma #until we meet again meta #uwma meta #uwma rewatch #deanpharm #fluke natouch #ohm thitiwat #new siwaj

[simpxxstan]

perfect complements (ch. 4)

pairing: professor!seungcheol x professor!f.reader

genre: fluff, enemies to lovers, angst, smut

series summary: four and a half years of working together breeds familiarity, resentment, and everything in between. it's almost like living together.

series word count (till current chapter): 10.4k

chapter word count: 3.1k

rating: 18+

warnings: slight bickering, description of makeout between seungcheol and oc (not with reader) and vague descriptions of fingering. curse words being used.

a/n: i'm sorry for the late update! i've been going through a hard time these few days, but i'm trying to distract myself! this is a filler chapter ig? i'm sorry if it's taking too long for any action between the reader and coups to start, but i really want to build the story up. it's slow burn for a reason hehe thank you so much for reading! &lt;3

taglist for the fic: @minhui896

series masterlist

Seungcheol’s phone pops up with a notification as he makes his way to Dr. Lee’s chambers. He knows you’ve already been here once before, but he has actively avoided the staffroom all day so that he doesn’t get caught in your and Minhee’s crossfire again. It’s best for him to keep his distance when you’re pissed. He knows, no matter what the reason, you’ll end up bursting at him.

“Hello, Prof. Choi. How are you today?”

“Same as usual, I guess. I can’t believe it’s Valentine's Week already.”

Dr. Lee laughs, their laugh slightly whimsical but purposeful. Seungcheol feels oddly comforted by the Counsellor but also a little nervous. He’s being constantly analysed, and it’s not a good feeling. But they know how to get him at ease too. 

“Why? Is Valentine’s Week important to you?”

“Aah well. If I don’t tell you, she will. It reminds me of what happened the first February I was here.”

Seungcheol had absolutely no clue what was going on in college. Perhaps being away from the dating market for so long had made him forget all about this. Plus, his mind was all caught up with the conference. It was the first time he was getting to organise something in this college, and as a new Professor, he had to impress everyone. He had the crazy urge to prove himself worthy of the post: many had said he was too young for it, but he was determined to prove them wrong. So when Prof. Y/L/N had offered that the two of you take up the duties this time to organise the department’s Annual Winter Conference, he had readily taken up the opportunity. 

Of course, everything was fine with Prof. Y/L/N now. You had explained to him that you were having a shitty day and couldn’t control your emotions, given your periods had been giving you hell, and the very day after that, you had both gone to watch the new play being performed by the University’s Drama Club, together. Along with a lot of laughs and a lot of meaningful conversations, Seungcheol had hoped he had made his first friend in University. The academic atmosphere had daunted him at first, since he was the youngest, but seeing you had made him braver. He had someone by his side to help him, instead of judging him. 

It also helped that he found you unimaginably beautiful. 

Seungcheol was, by no means, an innocent boy. Yes, he hadn’t dated properly for very long, but he was no playboy either. He liked to keep his commitments minimal, given that most of his 20s had been spent cooped up in the library, drowning in coffee and real analysis theorems. He had enjoyed pursuing academics, but it had effectively stolen his social life from him. His romantic life, too. His love life had ended with his undergraduate course, and since then, he had been happily married to his thesis. 

Except, now. Now, things were different. Because you had entered his life. Not just that, Seungcheol had found himself economically and socially stable after several years. He could finally spend time with his family, live in his own rented apartment, take care of his pet dog as he liked, and eat out almost twice a week, and still have enough money to indulge in a new game being released at the end of the month. Meeting you at this perfect time made him want to go all in, and take his chances at love. After all, he was twenty seven now. He wouldn’t make the same mistakes again, would he?

Naturally, he couldn’t give up on the chance to co-convene the conference with you this year. He really respected you- both from a professional point of view, and personally; well, as much as he did know about you. It wasn’t much, you weren’t a great oversharer, but there was one thing that he knew for sure- he enjoyed spending time with you, and he was looking forward to meeting you every day. 

“Seungcheol! You’re here. Are we good to go? I think the guest speakers are about to arrive in a few minutes!” You were smiling nervously, but still looked incredibly put together. Your hair was tied up in a bun, revealing your soft cheeks and the new earrings you had donned just for the event. This was the first time he was seeing you wear a dress, and he could feel himself tipping a little more into this mini project of his. 

“Y/N, please don’t worry! I’ve got the volunteers briefed, and everything will work like clockwork.”

_

Unfortunately for Choi Seungcheol, everything did not work like clockwork.

It was the last hour of the conference, the time for the students to gather in a group discussion moderated by the two of you, and discuss your findings, thoughts and questions about the presentations and papers presented by the various guests of the day. With the majority of the workload done, and surrounded by familiar faces, Seungcheol felt much relaxed, and had rolled up his sleeves and settled down into a chair for the first time that day. After running around all day, this informal session felt like a blessing. 

You sat down next to him, and all the other students settled down in a scattered, approximate circle. The flow of the conversation began easily, with you smiling and picking up the pace. The students, eager and wide-eyed, kept chattering, and the enthusiasm reminded Seungcheol of himself. The discussion was largely informal, and it felt like a group of likeminded people sitting together, not a hierarchical group of students and professors. It was an atmosphere that made him very happy. 

Of course, it also made him very happy that you seemed to be more and more comfortable with him as the day passed by. It manifested in little things, but they were enough to make Choi Seungcheol feel giddy like a schoolboy again. Like how you keenly listened to his comments, and appreciated his thought process. How you contributed to every discussion he initiated, how you ensured he didn’t get left out in the discussions. How you touched his hand once while asking him about something. How you unintentionally (or intentionally?) stared for a second too long at him, and he had caught you in the act. 

It was an extremely successful day, he concluded, and he went home feeling the happiest he had been in recent times. He had felt included in the University community, and that was what he had truly wanted for all these days. It felt so relieving. 

But all that was going to change the next morning. 

He arrived at college in a happy mood, not realising why suddenly there was a galore of roses being carried around the college campus by students. He grabbed his usual Americano from the canteen, before making his way to the staffroom, delightfully greeting every student and professor he met on the way. The campus seemed to be bursting with energy today, but he simply couldn’t realise why. Not that he cared. He was just as energetic today-

“Care to explain this, Prof. Choi?”

You’re standing there, hands on your hips, Wonwoo, the Dean from Social Sciences next to you, and the other professors of the department also in that room. He can’t make out what’s written in the letter that you’re holding up, but as he steps closer, he can see it:

CHEOLLIE AND Y/N SITTING ON A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Below the words, there were small roses drawn and pictures of iconic scenes from the k-drama, ‘Boys Over Flowers’ stuck on the page. 

“What’s this?” He asked, still clueless. Wonwoo stepped up, and put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s the first day of Valentine’s Week. Someone left this on Y/N’s desk…” 

The dots finally connected in Seungcheol’s head. The students had… shipped them? It was surprising, funny but extremely absurd. He had the urge to laugh it off, but then he stopped himself seeing the furious look on your face. He realised it had offended you in some way, although he saw it as a joke. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N… I don’t know-”

“Do you realise how unprofessional this is? How desperate this makes me look?”

“Desperate?”

“Of course they thought a woman would fall in love with the first man they saw entering the campus. It’s disrespectful, Choi Seungcheol, do you not see that?”

“I think it’s not as big as you think. It’s just a joke by the students-”

“Joke? Wonwoo, please explain to him.”

Wonwoo enlarged his eyes, but quickly took the signal and asked Seungcheol to step out with him. 

“I swear I didn’t do anything!”

“I know Seugncheol. I’ve known you for long enough to know you’re not dumb to seduce your colleague. But everyone can see your crush on Y/N.”

It was Seungcheol’s turn to finally be shocked. “What? It’s really nothing like that!”

“Okay. Even if I accept what you’re saying… I’m not saying you’re at fault for this. Kids pull this kind of prank all the time. They shipped me and another Professor from the Linguistics department for years, before everyone got to know that she was gay and I was marrying someone else. But I understand why Y/N may feel sensitive about these things. All I’m suggesting is-” he raised his hand to prevent Seungcheol from cutting in, “keep a little bit of distance? Until the rumours die out and she feels comfortable again. We can’t have a hostile environment in the department, can we?”

_

Seungcheol chuckles at the end of the story. 

“Look where we are now.” 

He had recounted almost all of the incident with Dr. Lee, albeit not going into too much details about his love interest in Prof. Y/L/N.

“It’s a very interesting story, I must say,” Dr. Lee had a smile of their face as well, seeming quite amused by the narration. “So you liked her?”

“A little. Quickly snubbed out, as you can make out. After these things, I kept my distance, and obviously, whatever inkling of… feelings had emerged… died out. I was back to neutral within a few weeks.”

“And what about your friendship?”

“Friendship?”

“Your relationship. Did it ever go back to normal? As it was before this thing?”

Seungcheol pauses. He’s not quite sure. Perhaps because it’s been so long, and he has largely forgotten? He doesn’t know how exactly the relationship would have been even if the incident hadn’t happened. There would be other things to destroy it, of course, as time had shown. 

“I don’t think so. But then, it’s hard to define normal. We were friendly, like new colleagues who instantly don’t hate each other are. But since then, as we worked together for longer, and as my… emotions became absolutely neutral, we discovered irks in each other pretty soon. We never ended up being as friendly as then, again. I don’t think we would’ve been anyway.”

“And if she had liked you back?”

He doesn’t know what to say. He prefers not to think about it, a situation he could envision in only an alternate, distant universe. 

“She could never.”

It’s the truth. He knows it’s best not to lie to Dr. Lee. 

_

Valentine’s Week is one of the few weeks in the year when the entire city is bustling. There’s the excitement of new love, hope of requiting crushes, and the thrill of the chase, all punched together. It’s also the beginning of spring, and Kkuma, on such days, really enjoys walking through parks, running in fresh green grass dazzling with dew, and making Seungcheol run after her. 

Today, she’s dressed up with tiny pink clips sparkling in her carefully trimmed white hair. Today, Seungcheol isn’t running behind her. He’s instead sitting on the bench, surfing through his phone, as Kkuma runs small laps around him. There’s no chance of her straying away, she’s too dependent on him for survival and she loves being spoilt. 

“Oppa?”

Seungcheol looks up from his phone to see Hyerin standing in front of him, dressed in tracks. Running in the park, clearly. “What are you doing here? I didn’t know you came to the park?”

“I came here for Kkuma-ya. You?”

“Can't go to the gym these days. So I’ve switched to running. Mind if I join you?” Seungcheol shifts up on the bench, and Hyerin flops down on it, next to him. “Tired? Take a sip from my Americano-” he brings the coffee to her lips, and she sucks in through the straw. “Aah, too much ice!” He giggles, before taking a sip himself. “I like it this way. You don’t have to drink it.” “Yaah! Oppa!” She snatches it a bit, sips again, and puts it back in Seungcheol’s hands. 

“Do you want to get breakfast?”

She smiles, “I thought you’d never ask.”

_

Breakfast becomes another walk along the sunny streets of Seoul, which turns into grabbing beer before lunch, and after another hearty meal at a street food fair, Seungcheol finally takes Hyerin home. They’d been stalling it for long enough, he thinks, and he definitely does like her a lot. Better to settle down with her than any other random woman his mother decided to set him up on a blind date with. 

“Kkuma’s watching us,” Hyerin whispers breathlessly, panting between kisses, as she leans away from Seungcheol’s body to look at the small dog sitting far away from them but still with her eyes fixed on the two of them. 

Seungcheol laughs. “See? This is why I told you Kkuma doesn’t like it when I bring over girls.” 

“But she’s okay with you bringing over your colleague from work?” Hyerin doesn’t sound jealous, she’s too busy unbuttoning Seungcheol’s shirt. “Kkuma wasn’t at home then. My brother had taken her away for the day.” “Lucky woman, your colleague.” And her mouth is back on his, and they slobber around, making out furiously, even while the sun still shines on them from the open windows. Seungcheol’s hands grab her waist tightly as he lifts her up. He then moves away from couch and slowly makes his way to the bed, not leaving Hyerin’s mouth even once. When he’s finally laid her down on the bed and taken off her pants, the phone in the back pocket of his jeans rings. He’s tempted to ignore it, more interested in Hyerin’s bloodshot eyes staring at him hungrily and the way she’s reacting to his hands stroking over her thighs. But the phone keeps ringing, and the sound is annoying, so he takes out the phone to turn off the volume. 

Except he sees the name tag. 

It’s you. 

“Hello?” Seungcheol can hear Hyerin gasp in frustration, but he can’t help but take the call. He knows you never call him unless it’s an emergency, so this must be serious. 

“Prof. Choi? This is Prof. Y/L/N.” 

“Yes I know. What is it?” 

“Am I disturbing you? Your voice sounds curious and Seungcheol gets pissed at the stalling. “Yes, could you please tell me why you called?” “Sorry about that then, I’ll be quick. It’s just that-” “Yes?” “Hey, why so impatient?” “Prof. Y/L/N, it’s a Sunday. I’m busy, I have a personal life as well. Now could we please get on with this quickly?” 

“Prof. Choi, you know about the upcoming seminar in Singapore that our department was taking the UnderGrad students for? For the annual field trip?”

“Yes?” 

“And you know how Minhee was going to come along with me for the trip?”

“I do know that.” 

“Well, her sister’s getting married that weekend. We just got to know, I swear!” 

“We?” Seungcheol feels so lost in this conversation. 

“Yeah, well, Minhee and I. We’re actually hanging out together, right now.” “Okay? And why are you suddenly telling me about Minhee’s sister’s wedding?” “Oh, just that. Wonwoo asked me to ask you, if you’d like to come along. Minghao is really busy for that weekend with meetings for his America thing, so I really had no option but to ask you.”

There’s a very loud pause. Seungcheol is facing away from Hyerin, but he can hear her breathing clearly in the silence. She’s real sweet, waiting patiently for him to finish the call, even if he’s left her without any context.

“You can’t go alone?”

“I did tell Wonwoo I’d go alone, I am literally 33. He said no, it’s not nice to send just one professor when they’ve already made arrangements for two.”

“Can’t we send one of the PhD students? They’ll get good exposure too.”

“There are over 30 kids. Not sure how much exposure a PhD student can get from handling kids-”

“Kids who are all in their 20s. This isn’t a kindergarten field trip.”

“I’m just telling you what Wonwoo would say. I know it because I’ve suggested these exact same things to him as well.”

Another pause. Seungcheol can hear Hyerin touch herself, the sounds giving it away. He turns around and sees his suspicions confirmed. It’s an irresistible sight, her eyes closed in focus, and with the afternoon sun falling on her skin, she does look heavenly. 

Fuck you for keeping him away from this delight.

He steps closer to Hyerin, and joins her, taking her by surprise. She moans, and he hopes you weren’t able to hear it.

“Listen. I’ll let you know if I can make it. But I don’t think I’ll be free next weekend, so don’t count on me-”

“Wonwoo asked me to tell you that this would be the last step to our ‘therapy’ thing. I may have blackmailed him into agreeing to this, because he forced me to call you up.”

Seungcheol can’t focus on the phone call anymore, not with the pretty sounds Hyerin keeps muffling up, but this perks his attention. Freedom from that bullshit finally. He’d been tired of turning up to the Counsellor’s office and getting analysed by their squinty little eyes. Especially when you both had to attend together. It was getting embarrassing now, as students across the university heard rumours about this therapy thing. It was bad enough that everyone knew how much you two dislike each other. Even worse now that they thought you both needed couples’ therapy to get over your petty fights. 

Damn Wonwoo for being a smartass. Seungcheol has known this since childhood but he keeps falling for his moves each time. He can never win against Wonwoo.

“Seungcheol? Are you still there?”

“Okay Prof. Y/L/N.”

“Huh?”

“I said okay. I’m in. For the next weekend. Bye now.” Thank god he has Hyerin falling apart on his touch right now, before his mind twists and falls into a trap, thinking about the potential dangers of what he just agreed to.

“Oppa! I’m- I’m- aaah!” Hyerin’s voice is loud, and he sinks headfirst into her. “I’m here, princess. Oppa’s right here.”

#choi seungcheol #s.coups #s.coups x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fluff #seventeen series #s.coups series #s.coups fluff #s.coups fanfiction #seungcheol fanfiction #seungcheol x y/n #seungcheol series #seungcheol fanfic #seungcheol x reader #seventeen fanfic #perfect complements series #simpxxstan

[guardian-of-fun-times]

Ahh, Rise of the Guardians... Happy Birthday! I cannot begin to fathom my life without the books and/or the movie...besides a constant feeling of emptiness. I have no doubt in my mind that I would succumb to the fear of adulthood and not having an efficient way of preserving and expressing my childlike (not childish) nature. After seeing RotG in August of 2013, I found the closest character I have ever connected with. Distant but passionate...daring yet humble...intense but at the same time playful...He somehow manages to balance it all. When I first read "The Guardians of Childhood" novel series- I said to myself, "Y'know...if I were to connect with any other character on a spiritual level, it'd probably be Nightlight."

This was a couple years before William Joyce announced that [SPOILER] Nightlight later became Jack Frost...and then, from that moment, I realized that my connection with this character was MUCH deeper than I could ever imagine. Nightlight and Jack have this distant/ever-watchful dynamic in their personality...something I've always found myself doing. I love people-watching- it is very intriguing to me. Now this might have to do with my love of psychology/sociology and understanding how people work, but it is something I've always noticed about myself. In the movie, Jack is not the center of attention all the time...he is usually off to the side, trying to understand what is going on around him before he commits to anything. Of course I could write an entire essay regarding all my personal connections with Jack and how I can see life through his eyes...but perhaps that story shall be shared at a later date. In time I will share my story... The movie and the books have changed my life for the better. Thank you William Joyce, I grew up with you through "Rollie Pollie Ollie" and continued to admire your work without even realizing it was you this whole time.. .I'm inspired to go back and read all those books and watch all the movies. I'm sure I'll have a deeper connection the second time around.

I'm also inspired to read the books that inspired you! I don't recall you ever mentioning "The Little Prince", but I'm sure you've read it...especially by how much Nightlight reminds me of The Little Prince.

Your eye for the imagination and impossible is right up my alley. In an obtuse mindset, there was a time I felt my creativity and imagination fading- but I then realized it was pushed to the secondary tier of importance. Adulthood got in the way...not becoming an adult, but letting the fears of adulthood and the world fill my head with desensitized nonsense.

I have always believed that children know the secrets of the universe. They understand the secret writings of the "In Between"... the two lines of the theoretical and the fantastical! This knowledge, however, seems to fade slowly with time. The more a child is in the world- the more darkness is influenced. This is not a loss for hope! As long as we preserve this knowledge (like history), we will not forget who we are, where we came from, and what our individual purpose is.

Love, Light and Purpose has been my end goal to this channel. To reflect and remind other's of The Great Light- just as the moon does with the sun's light. To remind people that they DO MATTER, that they ARE LOVED, and have enormous amounts of POTENTIAL!

A handful of years ago, I promised myself that after the new Jack Frost novel came out, I would start directing my focus to The Guardians of Childhood tier of this fandom. More people must be made aware, for the whole story has yet to be shared! This is exactly why I'm building my Viking AU cosplay- to practice my skills with Worlba before I tackle cosplaying as Nightlight.

Getting back on track, I thank you, not only to William Joyce, but to all of you who, despite the common ridicule and doubt by others, continued to believe. That, my friends, is the most humbling truth...and is the driving force in my entire being. I will never cease to share these stories...I will be sure to tell the importance until MY memories are like twilight.

#rise of the guardians #rotg #jack frost #rotg matters #guardian #rotg fandom #rotg jack frost #guardian of fun

[respectthepetty]

Since I decided the best way to make it through Our Skyy 2 with minimal damage is to drink my way through it, welcome to the third round of

CockTails in the Skyy!

This week's drink is Jack Nasty to honor one of the iconic lines from Brokeback Mountain since the boys were serving us cinematic odes in the trailer:

Jack Daniel's Honey Whiskey for the pair's sweet yet intense dynamic

unfiltered apple cider for the A+ prefect jerk, Akk

lemon juice for the wrench in the system and Sour Patch kid, Ayan

honey and cinnamon on the rim for Kan and Thua

This drink is mostly whiskey because I know there is singing in BOTH episodes. I love spoilers, so I already know the BBM scenes are a dream, but it's too late to turn back now! I've committed to this drink (whiskey) and this journey!

Bottoms up!

I don’t remember anything that is happening. THEY WE'RE EXPELLED FOR A SEMESTER?! (and still graduated on time . . . I smell a coverup!)

We got shots of the eclipse during the show, and now we'll get plenty of scenes with the sun because they are living in the light!

If only this could've been how Brokeback really went.

The way First, I mean Akk, just looked . . . ahhhhh

How long have they been there that there are multiple days of chores? I like camping but three days max!

A voice-over to make me feel worse that Aye is going to ignore Akk. cool cool cool

I don’t understand this space vs. place conversation, so the whiskey is working.

Aye throwing out a full moon and a holiday instead of Akk's birthday hurts me. As a Leo, this behavior is unacceptable.

Akk constantly saying "Aye" instead of Ayan, when we worked HARD for that during the series is feeding my soul.

Product placement! So glad we got someone to pay for our fanfiction this time around.

I do not like to frolic. I do not like to witness others frolicking. Too much energy when we should be laying down.

What is this conversation about the motorbike about?

Oh! It’s about vers.

Thua's filtering Kan's bad personality? If we had to make a comparison of who is feistier, it'd be Thua! Wat is putting the blame on the wrong kid. Thua would be the bad influence!

Who’s Mork?! Now is not the time for MORE characters.

PAWIN!

As a college professor, this Wat x Sani agenda is a HARD NO! No further comments. No additional notes. Just no. NO!

I should've done a shot instead each time a film scene pops up. I'd be four deep right now and a lot less sober.

MORK IS KENJI! Twice in one week, sir! First in Step by Step and now this! Give my man the love plot I was robbed of in 609 Bedtime Story!

Good friends for helping Wat who was the BEST BOY during the show always helping them. Also, AJ looks like he could cry on command, so I need this to be utilized more.

I can't invest in this fight when they are wearing shades of each other's color. The love is there. It's written all over them.

Kan threatening Aye about touching Thua because he still isn't over the car moment. Stay petty, babes!

Aye could hear the phone over this loud ass water?!

More product placement! We got McDonald's money, y'all!

Oh, shit! It's the guitar! MUTE

Kan being the lovey dovey type feels so good because he was so afraid to touch Thua before and was very aggressive. Now, it's all soft touches with Thua. Love that for them both.

Call me Sebastian because I'm not even hearing this fight since all I want Aye to do is "sha-la-la-la-la-la KISS THE BOY"

Another Jack Nasty for episode 2! I need to STFU this round, but I'll blame my many thoughts on the whiskey.

"As a friend." AS A FRIEND?! See, Akk stays asking for it. These two like pushing each other's buttons.

I am Namo. Inviting myself places. Watching my friend's deal with relationship bs. Smiling when they get caught sneaking around.

Wat making them hug is the friend version of making siblings put on the same shirt.

Stupid Dream Productions <- That's quality

Popsicles. Bike rides. Color exchanges. A bridge! Stupid Dream Productions made this possible.

Kan and Thua sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. (I see that neck grab, sir)

Thua is SERVING in this outfit! With the smiley face and dice necklace too. No wonder why Kan is so protective. Thua's got looks while Kan gives hardware hubby vibes. I love it!

Akk and Aye wearing white is a callback to the OST, no?

I will never be over the fact that all of these boys bullied Nan, Nong, and Nian, and every time "the bad stuff" from the past is mentioned, I get in my feels.

Oh, no! This short film is taking me back! Deep in my feels with that burning dummy.

Golf! Hey, homie!

"they secretly transferred me money in the end." Why did this not land for me? I should be happy his family is supporting him, but . . . *gonna moonwalk away from this*

This guy talking to Wat is the assistant director of The Eclipse, Pro Siwasit, but Wat said Nut. I feel confident even in my whiskey haze.

I am Namo. Putting my foot in my mouth when my friends are in distress. So glad he is less sus this time around.

SINGING!!!!! NO!!!! Why is this necessary?! Sweet baby Jesus with the historical accurate skin tone. I CANNOT!

I can't even enjoy what I like to call the sign-of-the-cross kiss because I'm still upset about the singing.

Another cake for the collection. Missed opportunity for a moon and sun themed cake, but at least there are stars and red, blue, and yellow candles.

Dacryphilia - getting pleasure or aroused by others' troubles or tears -> Aye, we need to discuss this kink.

Akk: I love hugging you; Aye: I love pissing you off.

A shower scene! Drying each other's hair! Saying they love each other!!!!

Only Friends when?

I'm somehow parched after that final scene even though I drank the entire time, so it's time for the rating. I won't deduct points for Akk and Aye's clear relationship dynamic (and kink), but I will deduct half a point for singing and a full point for that teacher/student plot this show is still pushing. Actually, that gets a point and A HALF deduction!

8/10 CockTails for making me, a person who believes in pushing boundaries, realize I have clear boundaries that cannot be crossed.

I didn't love Vice Versa, but I am ecstatic to see its installment next week. It's giving me Baby Shark. It's giving me colors. It's giving me Sea's side profile. It's giving me the possibility that Tess had a kid!

Daddy Sharks, doo-doo, doo-doo. Daddy Sharks, doo-doo, doo-doo

#Our Skyy 2 #The Eclipse #Akk x Ayan #episodes 5 & 6 #Cocktails in the Skyy #Daddy Sharks

[pearlsofthec]

While not as celebratory as October (MY B-DAY MONTH!) and not yet as festive as December, November is a month that’s always full of promises to me. It’s the month when I usually swear to myself I'll get everything done, so I can try to relax when it's Christmas time. While my productivity levels aren't as consistent as I'd like them to be, my will to be productive certainly is. I'm definitely a list kind of girl, loving making them just as much as I enjoy reading them in magazines and on archive blogs from the 2010s (classygirlswearpearls and rookie magazine, I’m looking at you guys). So what better way to start the month and try to get myself together than by writing a big ole' list? My November Guideline:

To be inspired

On TV: Spencer Hastings, Blair Waldorf, Tanner Hall

I may have only watched a season and a half of Pretty Little Liars, but that absolutely doesn't stop me from loving and pinning essentially every single outfit ever worn by Spencer Hastings on television, EVER. I love the way it's simultaneously classic and dated. I've never been one to fear a dated style or outfits that might one day make me sigh and go, "Oh my God, that was so ten years ago for me." I guess that's my way of contributing to history and experimenting with the millions of inspirations I'm constantly bombarded with via social media. I specifically love this aspect of her style, how she wears what she wants, what she loves, but always communicates a deep appreciation for a more traditional way of dressing. 

A lot of the same things can be said about Blair. Again, a character from a TV series I haven't watched all the way through (I can't make it past the first few episodes of season 3, sorry!), who was a pillar of preppiness back in the day, and is still wildly beloved, despite having committed a few fashion faux pas in my opinion. The craziness of it all and even the grandma-ness of it all actually fascinate me about Blair's wardrobe. How she constantly projects a vision of who she needs to be. Spencer does the same, obviously, but with Blair, it's almost like she viewed every day of her life, every problem she needed to face, as a new plotline of an old movie that needed to unravel. For each plotline, she reacted as a different heroine would, and each heroine, naturally, expressed herself differently through fashion. I just love these characters she creates for herself, and I feel like I often have the same instinct to curate an outfit like that when getting ready.

Tanner Hall, directed by Diane von Fürstenberg's daughter, Tatiana, is in the same aesthetic line as the previous mentions. The movie is set in a quintessential New England boarding school, where beiges, browns, and muted greens seem to be the only existent colors. The whole wardrobe is gorgeous, designed by DVF, and the holy grail for all those who are obsessed with an old-time preppiness. While the movie's plot may be flawed, its attempt to portray the delicious whimsy and melancholy of a girlhood that tries to expand inside the claustrophobic gates of the school is genuine and comes from what, to me, is a mixture of personal history and folklorized memories. I really like the softness of it all; you can almost smell the crisp apple scent through the screen.

On the web: 2010s Emma Watson, Silly Lettuce, Eva Meloche 

I can't really explain my current fixation on Emma Watson, but I have the feeling it has something to do with the fact I've been looping her Burberry campaigns practically every day. The songs are so reminiscent of a carefree city life, going on long taxi drives in the rain and putting your hands over the steam of your coffee on a cold day in the park with your friend, wet fall leaves on the cement sidewalk. I used to admire Emma Watson a lot when I was younger, and it's nice to rediscover this fondness for her. And let's be honest, she is definitely one of the founders of the gamine community; all I have, I owe to her!

Now, my current admiration for @silly_lettuce on Instagram is totally aesthetic, and I'm not afraid to say it. Gorgeous girl, gorgeous outfits, what's not to love. I could go on and on about her style in general, the silhouettes she wears, the boots, the knee-high socks, but instead, I'll just urge you to check out her page! So timeless, yet so young, fun, fresh, and COOL!!!! 

Eva Meloche is a YouTuber I've been watching for as long as I can remember, and not only do I adore the calm energy all of her videos exude, but I also really love her travel stories and spot recommendations in general, which always come in handy. Oh, and, of course, she has impeccable taste. Even though her style is different from mine, I guess I use her content as a way to explore.

To wear 

I think it's totally healthy to have an everlasting lust for new clothes and new products. Maybe it's because the holiday energy is already lingering in the air, or maybe it's because I'm fresh out of a father and daughter trip to Paris, but recently, I've been loving to revisit my old favorites. And by old, I mean back-when-I-was-twelve old, which includes:

Red Valentino patterned A-line dresses

Ok, I know they may be a bit too young, but if you get it, you get it, I guess. With some ballerinas or Mary Jane pumps, a cute overcoat, and a nice pair of sunglasses, you'll look positively '60s. Honestly, any A-line dress works, but RED V makes me remember my trips with my grandparents and going shopping with them.

The Cardi-blazer 

So basic, I know, but I cannot stop thinking about the Ba&Sh Gaspard cardigan and Guspard blazer. I just love how it elevates a basic outfit. With a pair of jeans and a trench coat over it, it has infinite potential. I can definitely see myself wearing it to a lunch with friends, for some afternoon shopping, or just for a coffee run. I love the Ba&Sh cardi-blazers, specifically because of how cool they look without ever being an "in-your-face" type of item. The buttons are nice and discreet, and the style is put together but not excessively frumpy.

Flap Brogue

Maybe it's the Miu Miu enthusiast in me, but ever since they released the new collection of shoes with Church's (my dad's fave), I've been loving all outfits that include a pair of brogues. I already had a pair of light brown oxfords (which are my one true love), but I really wanted something in black and thought that a pair of flap brogues would be a nice addition. They're perfect to wear with sheer hosiery, a mini jean skirt, and a cozy black sweater to tie it all together.

Statement sweater

Talking about sweaters... I just have so many cool statement ones living in my brain recently; it's a bit concerning. What's better than wearing a huge sweater that screams "look at me" when going out with friends or having a nice dinner party? I've been specifically lusting over two models: the Kritzia glittery, oversized turtlenecks with animal motifs and the Zadig and Voltaire Alma "rock and roll" red one.

Statement everyday shoes 

It's so 2016 to talk about Golden Gooses, but... I just love them. I happened to buy them after quite a bit of time resisting after I found myself with soaked ballerinas after a violent rainstorm, soon-to-be late to my lunch reservation. The Golden Goose store was my knight in shining armor, literally, offering me shelter and shoes. And maybe it was the desperation, maybe it was the pink sparkly star, but all I know was that I left that store in a glittery haze, enamored by the sneakers I'd just impulsively bought. No regrets!

To Discover

Maison millais (The Eloise perfume specifically… i need it)

Armocromia

Isak Zenou

Brai (pyjamas)

Louvini

Sekiguchi dolls

#blog #monthly guidelines #november

[cruciomione]

"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tag @bioloyg <3

Star Sign(s): Scorpio Sun (I literally never remember my other ones, I should probably memorize them)

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and Halloween. even tho i find it harder to feel the holiday spirit up until the very last minute i love christmas so much. and not even to be corny but its true that when you grow up you start to care less about the presents and more about the memories with family and friends.

i grew up in a religous family so my parents didnt let me celebrate halloween but i still love it with my whole heart. im a november baby so i love fall and all things eerie and spooky.

Last Meal: McDonalad's snack wrap and one of those new fruit splash drinks. its exam season so ofc im eating like shit. will probably eat some ice cream when i get home after my physiology exam in 30 minutes. so yay to junk food

Current Favorite Musician: currently ive been really enjoying pinkpantheress. her new album is literally 10/10. she has such a knack for melodies, and her lyrics are very eerie and poetic while maintaining a cutesy 2000s vibe. shes also a sampling queen.

honoarble mentions: ive been listening to a lot of janet, rosalia and red velvet these days too.

Last Music Listened To: feedback by janet Jackson. bro istg you have to clear the area when this comes on, i cant help but dance

Last Movie Watched: last movie i watched was bride wars. honestly a classic movie, so funny and i love wedding movies so i reccomend it. that was a month ago tho, which is crazy.

Last TV Show Watched: like the wonderful person who tagged me i watched the bear last. i just rewatched s02e01. ive been doing this thing where i'll either rewatch episodes for research, boredom or just because i get sucked in rewatching a specific clip that makes me want to rewatch the whole episode.

Last Book/Fic Finished: last fic i finished was keeping up with the berzattos by chefskiss40 on ao3. ive reread it like 3 or 4 times now and im patiently waiting for an update. its just so good, i love the domestic vibes. im not a fan of seeing my ships start families in canon but in fic? oh i could read that forever

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: not really abandoned but sorta modified? the sydcarmy high school au i started in the summer was a good concept but i didnt really have a concrete idea where the overall story would go. BUT im planning on maybe doing a series which is just a collection of one shots of them in HS? OR i plan on doing a multi-chapter shorter story that is an AU that also takes place in a high school setting but with a twist that i dont want to reveal bc that would mean i would have to commit to it. lol

Currently Reading: nothing. unless you count all these articles/research papers I've been reading for my health research studies course (think i aced the exam yesterday so maybe all the pain was worth it)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: doesnt really count as research but basically i was on pinterest creating boards for 3 different fics. was researching wedding dresses for a nat & syd fic where they go wedding dress shopping (will be finishing after my last exam). also just creating two other boards to inspire myself to start the au i teased above and my bones and all AU/retelling i talked about last month. i want to watch some more cannibalism media and maybe research about 80s pop culture and politics before i dive into that one fully.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: ummmm probably just being a menace on twitter with my friends that i made through being a reveluv. we talk every single day, and they are some of the best people i know. maybe the times we used to get up early or stay up late for comeback season, watch the kcharts being updated hourly and crack jokes about group we liked and didnt like

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: technically THG is having a resurgence right now but im way too into the bear to really get back into it and also i havent seen the new movie. im excited to once exam season is done but i feel like the hype is already dying so i dont see myself getting too into it.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: uhhhh cant think of one tbh.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: honestly every sydcarmy fic idea i have that would take multi chapters to flesh out. one shots are very safe for me. but im praying i'll commit to it. esp the bones and all AU lol

this was fun

tagging some ppl to do this too, only if you want!

@amieraisposting @chefkids @sennenrose @sydneys-adamu @sydneyscarm @happylikeasadsong @chansoooo1-blog

#about meme #ask to tag #fun distraction from this exam #wish me luck

[possumcollege]

Y'all, I feel like all the love for Mikey and Nicky really glosses over the part where Nick takes Mikey to his girlfriend's place, has sex with her on the floor against her wishes while Mikey waits awkwardly in the kitchen like 10ft away, then offers her to Mikey like she's a drag off his cigarette and when she rejects him, Mikey fucking strikes her. Fucking nuts if that ain't a dark turn.

The earlier scene where Mikey blows up over the cream at the diner felt like an act of desperation to care for his friend. It's aggressive and dramatic, but the scene with Nick's girlfriend is disturbing. Mikey is led into a scene that none of us can unsee and he knows it. The scene feels like Nick saying "I need you to want what I have for once, and then feel bad for wanting it." It shows us how irreparably broken and toxic this relationship is.

From then on, the movie is so much less, "find ya a buddy who'll fight you like a puppy for your own good" and more about how this mode of fraternal loyalty has brought them into this escalating doom spiral where Nick, jealous of his best friend, sets him up to be shamed, tested and put in very real danger while still depending on him for his literal survival. Mikey is pulled deeper and deeper into Nick's narcissistic self-destruction and it's almost certainly been the arc of their entire relationship.

Neither of these characters are "good" people, but we see the way Nick gets into Mikey's head. Mikey starts to become more hostile with his wife after Nick's jabs leave him feeling like she doesn't see him as clearly as Nick does and that was done on purpose. Nick needs to be the most important person in every interaction. He needs attention, power, validation, comfort, and protection, and he needs to constantly test the limits and devotion of the people around him.

In the end, Mikey is pushed into the understanding that the only way to retain his own identity in the face of Nick's increasingly unstable behavior is to be rid of him. In that moment of breaking free, we see Nick play every emotional card, love, pity, rage, resentment, in an attempt to hold on to what he has even if it threatens to pull everyone he loves down with him.

I've seen the film described as an exploration of friendship and betrayal or self-preservation vs loyalty, but no amount of love, support or sacrifice will change or help Nick. Nick has many opportunities to escape, but he needs the people in his life to prove to himself that he is real. He clings to Mikey like a security blanket. He degrades and humiliates his girlfriend who for whatever reason hasn't turned him in. He can't stop calling his wife just to torment and emotionally blackmail her. He keeps returning to places he knows aren't safe to solicit comfort and validation.

Mikey's commitment to his friend consumes and compromises him. There is real love between them but Nick cannot conceptualize other people existing independently of him. Mikey is willing to put himself at risk to give his friend the slightest chance of escape and Nick repays that by playing shit-magnet on Mikey's actual front porch.

Nick's last words may as well be, "I can't live with myself, so watch me die and know it's your fault." Nick sucks.

Before I actually watched this movie, I kept getting the impression that people saw something sweet and *maybe* a little queer in the relationship between Mikey and Nick. Now, honestly the queer angle is neither here nor there for me on top of what feels like romanticizing a toxic and abusive relationship through omission. The memes and gif-sets can't convey Nick treading on Mikey's Jewish values or undermining his other relationships.

I see the appeal from arms length. Nick is impulsive and intense. Mikey is fiercely loyal and sweet. They have a series of little adventures and from a distance, it's a damn near love story but any closer, it's clear this is a tragedy. The only way for Mikey to live his own life is to let go and let his best friend burn out alone.

(edited 12/1/22, after it was noted that it sounded like I was calling the potentially queer angle toxic. Not the case. Maybe if they'd just made out when they were younger this might have gone differently)

#mikey and nicky #peter falk #john cassavetes #narcissism

[prettyflyshyguy]

Alright for the freaks who are oldschool Supernatural tumblr people, or just normal supernatural people, and for the rest who are just like me and don't know shit: I'm dumping all my garbo takes under the cut.

Mostly gonna be me either being really enamored or really upset.

No in-between. These things are either great or the worst. My tastes are specific and I'm picky with vampire fiction and rarely do I find media that ticks the boxes yet, I still watch almost anything I can find obsessively.

Who knows maybe this'll become a new casual TV series if I like the dynamics. Anyway, long post warning under the cut.

They got Bela Lugosi's Dead playing in a room full of nu-metal heads LMFAO

truly the alt communities have always been done so dirty in media

least they did their research on song choices

-

jesus christ

flashbacks to my steampunk phase circa 2011

-

I LOVE that this woman looks so normie and looks so delighted when she meets this equally normie looking dude in an alternative bar (i want to go there the people seem chill and the vibes are impeccable)

anyway who is this guy he seems familiar

love that they made the most normal dude in the bar the real monster good on them :)

christ they just took one look at twilight and went yeah lets TV parody this shit just for a laugh didnt they

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHE'S 17

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(DID SHE HAVE A FAKE ID I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION)

OK ok ok you get big bonus points just for this bit. Just for this bit.

Thank you supernatural go off

-

"I'm just scared I'm dreaming and I'll wake up in math class" girl me too

im sorry this woman looks so much older than 17

POINTS DEDUCTED

POINTS DEDUCTED

BAD TEETH

great eyes, horrendous teeth. very dissapointed. I'm only here for the fucked up canines because we already HAVE them and whats better than perverting the existing human form into something subtly wrong

-

This show has such an aggressive title screen compared to buffy and the x files LMAO

-

ok i can get behind the chevvy, the chevvy is nice

-

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

POINTS ADDED - holy shit points added for this cheesy poster alone really capturing the schtick of the late 2000s

ok i get it, i get it guys, they're fun, they're funny, they've got a great sibling energy, the periodic 'screaming' happening in the background of this scene is sending me

-

this has been too fun so far i feel like somethings gonna ruin it

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok this is so self aware yet the degree they're committing is just.

its marvelous. this is peak. I'm into it.

there are so many ads please i want to see dean have a bad day

Holy shit is that Skinner from the x files i love that guy

-

the fashion. iconic. if anything I'll be coming back to this for inspiration for myself.

-

the way Dean just slammed that guy on the car yelling "OPEN YOUR MOUTH"

yeah instant favourite.

you've rounded a corner, a dude has just beat the shit out of your brother and now he's about to force feed him blood and your response is: stand there staring like the shocked pikachu

oh so you wait till after he's done to scream "no!" in a half hearted tone

is there something I'm missing here, i know Sam gets a bit cooked at some point (does he get possessed??? idk) so I'm gonna assume thats whats going on

this is the best 'turning' scene I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing in all my years of trawling through vampire media

holy shit the team that wrote this episode fucking get it

the audio design, the acting, is so on point

Supernatural Crew you cooked so hard and I'm deeply thanking you for it

this was fucking made for me what the fuck what the fruck what the fuck what the fuc

Nooooo dont have an emotional breakdown in the bathroom looking at your fangs, but you're so sexy aha

The constant heartbeats anytime Deans in a room with someone got me grinning like :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

ok points deducted, again, for bad teeth but my god

the "I gotta go-" scene GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT

someone get this kicked puppy a sippy cup

a red fanta chug jug

where is his sippy cup

look i know its probably not fun, at all, to drink red mystery meat juice on set but its gotta be cheaper than CGI teeth. Please.

Please let more relunctant vampires reluctantly chug jug (with you)

Oh Never Mind they wrote it in that he can't drink or he's stuck >:(

im still having a good time, just a bit less of a good time

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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using a large serrated knife to cut appart a horde of vampires seems like a great idea and getting covered in blood you're not supposed to drink is inevitable

but watch out

Sam: thats a pretty mentally stable thing to do

I REALLY WANT TO

CHUG JUG WITH YOU

ok this scene of him makes up for the lack of authentic blood chug jug I'll take what I can get

-

Ok final thoughts: that was a solid 7 and a half out of 10

thank you Supernatural you hit almost all the high notes when most stuff falls flat for me. Still, you came soooooooooo close. And got so far. And Yet in the end it doesnt even matter.

Still, this one's going straight to the pool room, and I can comfortably say I'm throwing it on the shelf of 'comfort media' that I can go back to on a bad day.

This had some fucking BANGER scenes that surpassed my expectations and deeply pleasantly surprised me. Good shit! As someone who is hard to please, this was a riot. Still; a shame they arbritrarily rules-d him taking a chunk out of someone. Would have been sick. Could have had the great slow build up of the initial turning scene - him and the love interest, holding back - then him cracking it after holding out and snapping.

It is not too much to ask, I swear. It's a good trope.

Do I dare take the risk of trawling through fanfiction to find another horribly specific weirdo like me, because Supernatural seems huge and a scary place to fanfic trawl.

#shy talks #not art #supernatural #tagging for archivals sake #but im not about to go crazy here #i hope #fuck it fanfic trawl time pray for me

[grendelsmilf]

I find it interesting you note Amphibia to push the envelope more than the TOH since I've seen others consider the latter to push more into serious topics and tones than the former. I've seen some people point to Luz's depressed state in the 1st S3 special as to how 3A Anne should have been written, but I feel like people ignore whether what works for one character would really fit for a very different character, even withstanding the series differences.

i mean, luz is someone who loved her life in the demon realm and hated her home, whereas anne loves her home and certainly did not go to amphibia by choice, so there was a part of her that was clearly just happy to be back with her family, even if she knew that she had to return. but it's not like anne wasn't shown to be stressed and upset, we see that she spends as much time as physically possible trying to build a portal back to amphibia. i enjoyed luz's depression though, i don't mean to undermine that.

and yeah, i can obviously see why people say the owl house explores more serious topics, i just happen to disagree? i don't really know how to explain it, but i feel like the owl house sort of... lacks nuance? it's a show that's really good for kids and i'm glad it exists and have nothing against it, but it's not a show that particularly concerns itself with moral ambiguity (i can only assume the horror show that dana terrace initially wanted to create would have been more complex in that regard). like, amity is a mean girl, but she's pretty harmless and almost immediately shown to be sympathetic. hunter gets compared to zuko a lot, but we never actually see him do anything particularly bad, and he's sympathetic and redeemable and morally pure for most of his screentime. eda is an outlaw but we never actually see her commit serious crimes, she's literally the most ethical and morally upstanding character in the show. even lilith really only made one mistake her whole life and spent the rest of it trying to make up for it. i think there's potential for the collector to be interesting as a completely amoral entity, as opposed to belos who is pure evil in every possible way, but i'll guess we’ll see.

but what i love about amphibia is that anne, sasha, and marcy are all deeply, realistically flawed. after watching the first episode i literally turned around to my brother and said to him, "oh i love anne already. i love that she's mean." what makes anne such a better character than luz (in my humble opinion) is that anne consistently makes bad choices due to her many, many flaws. while luz goes around making friends through helping people out of the goodness of her heart, anne has to be forced kicking and screaming into doing any kind of work for the betterment of anyone else. anne is a friendly and caring person with a big heart, but she's also selfish, lazy, entitled, petty, impulsive, careless, irresponsible and ungrateful. so when we see her grow over the course of the show into someone who doesn't hesitate to help others, it feels significant because we've seen every step of her journey of personal growth. sasha and marcy, while given less screentime, are also characters whose flaws are established and challenged over the course of the show. but i think the fact that anne isn't a perfect person by any means is what makes the show work so well. luz being depressed for half an episode is quite literally the most interesting thing she's ever done, meanwhile anne was out here fucking up left and right, nearly getting her adopted family killed every other episode because she wanted to adopt a cat or eat a pizza.

i'm not saying the owl house is bad because its characters aren't morally grey, but personally, i have absolutely no investment in it or its characters, whereas i still find myself thinking at least once a day "oh god it's crazy how good sashanne is" even though the show ended like a year ago. amphibia also has multiple instances of cannibalism, suicide, and an entire episode parodying midsommar even though there's absolutely no way any of the children watching that episode got the reference (i had to explain it to my brother). i wouldn't call either show dark or nuanced, but amphibia definitely feels darker and more nuanced than the owl house. to me, at least.

#ask #anon #frogshowposting #like anne boonchuy is a girl of all time and none of those owl bitches even come close except for maybe eda #and even then its like. well you may have eda but you will never have toxic homoerotic teenage girl best friends #the closest they get is the willow amity friendship which is honestly one of the best aspects of the show #but even then its clear that amity was wrong and willow wasnt #whereas w sashannarcy its like. theyre all flawed and need to be held accountable for that #so it's just. well it's better.

[thefudge]

hi dr fudge!! apologies if you’ve already addressed this in the past, but I’m watching the punisher for the first time and I’m dying to know your thoughts on the frank/amy dynamic and/or if you ever considered writing anything for them? I’m kinda a sucker for jaded old man/teenage girl duos who commit violence together, something erotic about it in an entirely fucked up way. and, as always, i wanted to thank you for endlessly blessing us with your thoughts and ideas and fics, your brain is huge and magnificent and we are all so lucky❤️

aww, you are a peach, thank you sm ❤️

i've never written frank/amy myself, but i did ship them and was very interested in that dynamic and you describe it perfectly, there IS smth erotic about old man/young girl committing violence together, especially restorative violence. smth about shared trauma and coping mechanisms and finding their way through it by both breaking the pattern of abuse and indulging in it makes my brain go brrr.

oh and i have the perfect rec, aka this series by @lightninginmyeyes! which is full of yearning and emotions and softness but also that erotic push-and-pull.

#frank x amy #fic rec #replies

[bluestar22x]

BlueStar's Year In Review

Thought I might make a blog review post of sorts this year cause it seemed fun.

It's been a very fun year for me on here. I joined tumblr for the gifs, and for fan talk, back in 2015. I mainly focused on the Dominion, 12 Monkeys, and Supernatural shows. All of which have been off air for a while now but I've continued to find fandoms to latch onto, the latest being the Pedro Pascal character fandom.

I've only had good experiences with this fandom since I joined in, starting around July 2022 after finally watching The Mandalorian. I'd seen Pedro in other shows before, but that was the first role I really noticed him in (shame on my younger self for not paying more attention to Marcus Pike before).

Finding out Pedro was going to play Joel Miller in an HBO show that same month, after having discovered/watched the TLOU games in May/June 2022 and being a newfound fan of game Joel, it kinda felt like fate. And then going through most of Pedro's major movies and shows before and during the time The Last of Us show aired solidified my want to be part of the fandom.

This year has seen a shift in my blog in major ways in large part to the Pedro Pascal characters and fandom. It's still very much for reblogging gifs of my favorite characters/shows/movies, but I've now shifted to also being a very fanfic heavy blog, where before I was only posting and reading fics on fanfiction net.

I started writing fanfic for the first time in years because of Din in 2022, but it wasn't until Pedro's version of Joel in January that I started reading fanfic again (since SPN ended) and eventually started writing for other Pedro Pascal characters.

Through reading fanfic about these characters and writing for them I've truly immersed myself in a fandom again and it's been a wonderful distraction, especially with how stressful real life has been in recent years trying to find a job I can live with, and dealing with not liking where I am in life (I thought I'd have more by this age - my own house, family, etc.).

I'm really grateful for those who have had discussions with me and who have read my fics; those who reblogged and left comments and reaction gifs that made me smile (reaction gifs are so fun). While I do write for myself first, every note has given me a serotonin boost, and it has lead to me having my first ever post with 100 notes! (And it's for one of my favorite fics I've written Sweet Summer). Notes aren't everything, but they're worth celebrating! They make me feel like I'm a part of something and not just in the background. I like contributing.

Here's the link to my Tumblr Stats

Notable Stats:

I've posted so much more this year than the rest before; it's insane

Obviously the notes have gone up since I now write

I haven't even hit 400 original posts yet since 2015! lol

Top 5 Posts:

1. July - Ch2 of my Sweet Summer Series

2. Sweet Summer Masterlist

3. Colors - My Joel Miller x blind!reader oneshot (a surprise honestly, but it goes to show how much reblogs make a difference)

4. June - Ch1 of my Sweet Summer Series

5. The Rockford Files Masterlist

It makes me sooo happy Rockford's in the top 5 cause that fic was very demanding and challenging for me. Not only did it have more plot than my typical fics (which took ages to straighten out), but it also had very LONG chapters because of the case by case nature of the fic. I find it hard to commit to long chapters like that - I have a somewhat short attention span and I'm impatient. It's only 3 chapters yet has almost enough words to be a novel! (over 40,000 words)

My Favorite Fanfics I've Written:

The Rockford Files (the finished product was worth it)

Sweet Summer Series (including New Year's Promise!)

The Journey Series

Fanfics I Wish Got More Love:

Second Chances Series (Love underrated Marcus M)

The Writing Contest Series (it's still early though)

My Masterlist

My Fanfic Plans:

I've got a lot of WIPs written out in my drafts. Right now I'm going to be focusing on Baby Fever and The Writing Contest (the latter which will have the most chapters of any fic I've written in a long time) but I have several one shots I'm itching to write between their chapters, including another Sweet Summer oneshot sequel called The Weekend which will feature Steve, Connie, and Chucho - not sure how I've avoided writing them for so long when I loved them in show. It will also be based around one of my favorite things to write besides smut. Take a guess.

After Baby Fever is completed I'll be looking to start writing another series, this time for Dieter called Unknown which will share a bit of plot and humor with that Disney movie The Game Plan (hopefully - I don't write humor much) but Dieter-fied. It'll feature less sports and more romance and angst. My two greatest loves.

Tumblr Wishes For 2024:

That I catch up on my WIP list (unlikely)

That I don't run out of ideas for fics (I just don't want as much ha)

That I make close friends in the fandom - I've talked to some lovely people fairly often, but I don't have anyone yet that I talk to regularly as I did in previous fandoms

That I have more discussions about the characters/fics/ask games I'm interested in - my ask box is open!

Anyway, that's all for now. Happy New Year everyone! :)

#Get To Know Me 2023 #Year In Review

[game-boy-pocket]

I was wrong about not being able to fit one more Mario game in before the Mario Movie. I just beat Odyssey, though it took me all day.

I forgot that if you aren't trying to grab everything, Mario Odyssey is actually pretty short. In fact I was a little upset that the game took me a single evening to beat when it first launched. I'm generally not a fan of locking so much content behind post game.

But to be fair to Odyssey, I played that game in a very wrong way, and under very poor circumstances where I was stressed about family related drama, and it soured that whole day for me. I just breezed through it, leaving each kingdom as soon as I had the minimum stars, I actually thought thats how I was supposed to play the game because we were chasing after Bowser and the Broodals, it seemed urgent not to linger. I even missed some bosses because of this.

Well now I know that's not the case I can play the game at my own pace. I eventually got all of the moons... not this time though, I played much like I did on launch day, except I didn't go for minimum moons, I at least made sure to solve all the major problems in each kingdom so I could experience most of what the game had to offer. So it didn't fly by nearly as quick as it did launch day.

I actually think this game is better for being able to be beaten in a single day. I don't want every game to be a huge commitment. I don't think i'll ever do 100% in this game again unless something terrible happens to my switch and I lose save data.

I'm also a lot more keen on this game than when I first played it. I was a bit harsh, partially because of how I spoiled it for myself by playing wrong and in a bad mental state, but there were things that I felt were legit issues with the game. I still kind of stand by them, there are way too many moons, and I think there's a lot of really bad decisions with the art direction... I understand Mario is meant to be a kind of experimental series at times but I did not care for the realistic humans in new donk city, or the vaporwave colored playstation 1 world made out of food, I think we really need to ditch the tradition of multiple Bowser fights in each game, and I think not fleshing out the ruined Kingdom was a huge mistake, seeing what the game could have been via the Mario Odyssey Art Book really brings my opinion of the game back down, you know? Almost everything in that art book is better than the final product.

But anyway, I don't want to end on a bummer note, because man this is a fun ass game, I really wished Nintendo would consider making a sequel but I feel like if they had plans to, they already would have, and if the rumors of true that EAD is now doing a Donkey Kong game, I would much rather have that, but man.... I really want a new 3D Mario now. Bowser's Fury was just not enough...

And speaking of Bowser, I discovered that in the end segment, if you do a triple jump, he does a "Yahoo" with his fist up like Mario... god damn, I forgot how fucking good that climax is and how badly it makes me want Bowser to be playable in a platformer, but like, the whole thing, not the last five minutes.

Mario Odyssey, fantastic game. And with that, I've spent too much time playing Mario today, but I think i'm gonna go watch the Super Mario Bros. Super Show with my buddy.

#pocket plays #super mario odyssey #nintendo #nintendo switch