Tumgik
#I've been stalking my own saved on instagram
carlosfruitsnacks · 2 years
Text
"blank space"
Tumblr media
summary:
— Carlos had everything he ever wanted and needed, money, fame, you name it. But there was a void inside of him that kept nagging him. Until you came into his life and filled that blank space, is it going to be forever, or is it's gonna go down in flames?
genre:
— fluff to angst, aged up, & modern au 
notes:
— female reader. I do not speak fluent Spanish and all of the Spanish here is translated from google, feel free to correct me.
warning/s:
— mentions of violence and obsessive behavior
a/n:
— alright, this has been stuck in my drafts for a looooooong time, this is inspired by Our Last Night's cover of Blank Space, pure Carlos energy highly recommend you guys listen to it while reading this.
Tumblr media
The annoying sound of silence merely gave any comfort within these halls. Everything has been eerily quiet for too long. To be in the middle of the woods, on your private property, within the walls of your mansion, maybe the recipe for insanity. But not for Carlos Madrigal, a man who achieved everything he wanted.
Carlos looked like the world was in the palm of his hand. The man had everything one would imagine. Wealth and power, all that business. He owned a lot of properties and made money on a daily basis. His meals would be often warm and fresh, and he was never bored considering the number of things he can do with the amount of rich he has, and he's young. Carlos Madrigal was a young and wealthy man with all the time in the world.
However, during the span of his peak, a tiny void in him began growing. The irritating unsatisfaction came to grow each second of the day, reckoning him bored. It was ridiculous really, he had the time and money yet he has become bored. It comes to show that having everything can only get you so far.
Carlos was looking for something, anything exciting. To replace this blank space inside of him, to fill his empty page. Carlos knew he was smart but not enough to figure out why he was this way. Eventually, the change he ached for so long arrived.
The man saw it, from his window. A yellow Cadillac sped into his property. Carlos straightens his collar and carefully brushed his curls out of his face. A smile erupts in his face when he saw a gorgeous young woman step out of the vehicle, all dolled up and ready for his eyes to see up close. Carlos hurried downstairs to greet her.
You walked into the mansion of a man you met online. You weren't sure why you began there but you were surprised to find yourself getting here. It was a normal Saturday night when a man DMed you on Instagram. From stalking his profile, you smelled the money from the pictures he posted on his page. You made the assumption that he was just a bored and annoying rich guy but it turned out he was interesting. A mysterious guy with history, he got your attention. So after getting to know him through a series of messages and video calls, you two agreed to finally meet each other in person.
With twinkling eyes, you admired the chandelier inside the mansion. You gawked at the walls and expensive furniture inside. The interior made you feel so small and insignificant, it felt like the entire mansion can swallow you whole. Nevertheless, you don't let yourself be intimidated.
"Glad you can make it, [Name] [Surname]"
You gasped to see the one and only Carlos Madrigal standing on top of the staircase, peering down at you with those glistening eyes. You gulped as you watch him get down the stairs. Dear lord, he was hot. Perfect curls, captivating eyes, and a sly smirk. You feel your knees go weak. His attire was polished from head to toe, wearing a maroon tuxedo and pitch-black shoes. Carlos comes to take your hand and kiss the back of your palm, your skin tingled by this.
"I'm...I'm thrilled to be here, Carlos Madrigal"
"Your name sounds perfect for the blank space I've saved for you"
You raised a brow at the random statement by this but you assumed it was just him trying to flirt with you so you smiled at him. 
"I'm assuming you're starving after your long trip to my place. Let's have lunch shall we?"
Carlos invited. He takes you to his enormous dining room with various food on the table already prepared. There were seats only at the ends of the table as you two sat across from each other. The food was scrumptious! You smiled and created a conversation with Carlos, who seemed to be enjoying himself more than you.
After the delightful lunch, Carlos insisted on taking you to experience his vinyl collection. The man had a versatile and impressive taste in music. You laughed when he went to drag you towards him for a dance, he acted so sweet to you. Swaying you side to side like a princess. Trying to have more fun, you asked him to go ride a bike inside the mansion, Carlos was too happy to say no.
You squealed when you chased each other down the halls on your bikes, careful not to knock down any expensive decoration. After the chaotic activity, you two tried some artistry. Carlos begged you to let him paint you, so you agree. It was more than an hour of you sitting still as he painted a live portrait of you. For some reason, you never questioned why he did it because the thrilled smile on his face had you distracted.
Tumblr media
The plans for your stay were extended for a week because you found yourself enjoying the once-in-a-lifetime luxury. After getting breakfast, Carlos comes to show you around his property, he even brought his pet Dobermans with him. His whole property was astronomically huge, it looked endless and like it offered everything. There were gardens, fountains, and a lot of places to waste time. You change into fancy clothes at lunch because he took you to go horseback riding, it was crazy to know the man owned horses too.
Carlos can feel the void inside of him slowly getting filled by every second he spends with you. He chased you around with that beautiful dress of yours, the smile on your face making his heart beat excitedly in his chest. Carlos felt like he was actually living. So, as he grinned and caught you in his arms, he decided that he can spend forever like this.
By the time you took a break, Carlos discreetly hung the framed painting of you in one of the hallways. He gazed at the breath-taking portrait of you, the smile on his face was so wide it made his jaw hurt. You looked so perfect like that, on his wall for him to admire for times to come. The emotions he had by just looking at your face were bursting within him, he wanted more of it.
As the sun began to set, you and Carlos found yourselves holding each other under the gazebo. You were unsure why but you wanted to kiss him so bad. He had you around his finger and you adore it, you wanted to live with him in his sanctuary for eternity. The moment arrives as you pressed your lips against Carlos' sharing a tender kiss as it slowly becomes passionate. He licks your lips and soon enough your tongues danced together in harmony. You whispered after pulling away.
"I love you"
"I love you, too. Very much, querida"
Carlos breathlessly whispered back. Amongst the trees, after sharing a passion-fueled kiss, you giggled and dragged him to a tree. You asked him for his pocket knife and he reluctantly agrees. Carlos watches in astonishment as you started carving a heart on the tree with your names on it. His heart fluttered when you smiled and returned his pocket knife.
"There. Now, we belong together"
"That's kinda cheesy"
"Oh, don't act like you don't love it, Carlos"
"How about I kiss that pretty lips of yours to give you a better reminder, [Name]"
Tumblr media
A relationship between you and Carlos was born. Your week's stay turned into a month. You spent your time with Carlos around his mansion, kissing and holding each other. This was the happiest you've ever been. It really seemed like you were on top of the world with him. Carlos was enjoying this more than you can ever imagine. A smile never left his features, he'd kiss your lips harder and harder, claiming a part of your soul every time his lips would move on yours.
You were his queen and he was your king, the perfect fantasy, a happily ever after. If only that were the case. Carlos noticed your increasing time on your phone, when eating, and before bed. His mind starts to itch in horrible ways. He needed to find out what are you doing there typing. Carlos dreaded imaging you talking to someone else behind his back.
So, he did what he had to do to silence his worried thoughts. Carlos wanted to be wrong, he wanted his suspicions to be debunked. You were his and his only. You fucking kissed him first and fucking carved both of your names on a tree inside a heart. You've got to be sick for fooling him.
: When are you coming home?
: I miss you
Me: I'm leaving soon
Me: Please wait a little longer
: Okay
Me: ily
: ily too
Carlos' eyes felt wet, his breath hitched as he watched the screen. He silently shuts off your phone and leaves it where he found it. His greatest fear came true, you were backstabbing him. You went ahead to make this love story only to betray him behind the scenes.
Oh no no no no no
The void in his chest was beginning to return, heat was bubbling in his stomach. What the fuck was this? He treated you greatly and this was what you're returning to him? Carlos hissed as his breath turned shallow, he gripped his hair and cussed. You were his! How many fucking kisses do you want for you to be reminded? What the fuck do you want from him? Money? You could've said something because he was willing to provide it for you.
Carlos wasn't able to control himself when he saw you at dinner, his anger got the best of him. Every attempt of you making a joke, trying to cheer him up never did, he was in too deep. Of course, you got upset.
"Carlos, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"I should be asking you that, [Name]"
"What? Okay, what did I do?"
"You should know by now. I guess being on your phone too much made you fucking stupid"
Your mouth turned agape by his words. You stand from your seat and threw the napkin aside, not wanting to start an argument. But Carlos stops you from leaving by grabbing your arm and towering over you.
"Ca-Carlos?"
"What? Playing dumb, darling?"
He growled. Your eyes watch him gain power over you as he grabbed both of your arms and pulled you dangerously close to him.
"Tell me, am I the only one you say 'I love you' to?"
"Wh-what do you me-mean-"
"Hey, answer me, amor. Use that pretty fucking mouth of yours!"
"Pl-please Carlos! I don't know what you mean!"
"Oh, you know what I mean, hun. Those texts, your eyes on the phone when it should be on me"
Your stomach dropped by this. Realization comes kicking in. The truth came to haunt you back. You never told Carlos you already had a lover, you never had the courage to. You were just so enamored by him and his riches. He bewitched you before you can say a word. You pursed your lips and averted your eyes away from him in guilt. Carlos scoffs.
"I fucking knew it"
"...I was really planning to tell you but-"
"Just fucking shut up, please"
"Carlos..."
"Don't make me make the fucking tables turn, [Name]!"
Carlos shouted. You try to suppress your fear by scowling at him. The least he can do was let you say a word or explain. You see him grip the roots of his hair and pacing in circles.
"Oh my god, who is he?"
"My...my-"
"Fuck, I don't wanna know. Dios, [Name], you fucked me over"
"I'm sorry..."
"I gave you everything you can dream of, we could've had it all but you fucked me over!"
He screamed, hysterically. You were getting tired of the argument and also ashamed for being dishonest, you decided to turn around and leave. But before you can exit the door, Carlos grabs the nearest expensive flower vase and throws it at you, merely hitting you. With a gasp, you turn to cuss him out but he grabs the sides of your face and pulled it close to his.
"I know you're gonna come back each time you leave [Name]"
"Carlos what the fuck-"
"Oh darling, I'm a fucking nightmare dressed like a daydream"
With those haunting words, Carlos releases you as he watched you flee upstairs and lock yourself in your bedroom. You sobbed as you hear glass shattering and objects breaking from outside your door, followed by cries laced with fury.
Tumblr media
With each passing day, he made your stay like a living hell. First, he threw your phone into a fountain in front of your eyes. He'd cuss at you and destroy your belongings, mostly setting your things on fire. He went berserk every time he would see you.
One time, you were trying to hide from him when you passed by a hallway you'd never seen before. Your heart dropped to see the paintings displayed on the walls. They were all portraits of people, but they were heavily vandalized and abused. One painting had nasty scratch marks and another had an ax stuck to its face. The color drained from your face when you saw your own portrait, painted on the day he first met you, it was all torn up and a knife was stuck to the canvas. The horror brought a shiver down your spine, these were paintings of all Carlos' ex-lovers. All of a sudden you bolted to your room and collected anything that was spared from Carlos' destruction.
The man was barely coping after finding out you lied to him. He was furious, not because of you but it happened again. You weren't the first to come to his mansion and make him fall in love. He had way too many to count, all of them left and told him he was insane. They would come to fill this blank space in him only to tear him apart after, he thought it wouldn't happen again after his first and second exes, but it seemed like a constant loop of finding people not loving him back. Carlos was sick and tired of it, he poured all of his efforts only to be wasted.
What brought a disgusting flavor to his mouth is that Carlos still loved you after the shit you did, that made you different from his ex-lovers. You literally carved your names into a tree, nobody has ever done that before. He still fucking loved you for it. He still wanted to kiss and hold you. He didn't want you to leave, he wanted you so bad. Carlos needed you here with him forever.
You rushed with your suitcase to your car only to find Carlos sprinting to your precious yellow Cadillac with a golf club. You drop your things, wide-eyed, and screamed.
"CARLOS NO!"
He doesn't listen as he smashed the headlights of your car with his golf club. You shrieked when Carlos began crying and destroying your windshield and the entire front of your car. He poured his fury out on your Cadillac. You sank down to your knees and began pleading for him to stop. It felt like an hour when he completely ruins your car. Carlos looked over at you and saw the mascara streaming down your cheeks along with your tears. He drops the golf club and glared at you. He grabs you by the jaw and gives you one long and emotional kiss. But before you can kiss back, Carlos pulls away with a nonchalant expression and red eyes, he whispered.
"Get out before I make you stay"
You scrambled up to your feet, not bothering to retrieve your belongings out of fear. Fortunately, your car was still functioning, so with one last look at Carlos, you mouthed 'I'm sorry', before speeding out of his property. The image of him staring blankly at you longingly will always haunt you in your dreams.
Tumblr media
A red Ferrari pulls into the driveway, a woman steps out dragging her expensive dress outside. The first she noticed was a cut tree nearby, it was odd to see it stand alone compared to all the uncut trees. She walks into the mansion and looked in awe. The place was glimmering like the stars in the night sky. Her eyes land on the staircase to see a man dressed in maroon, with a smirk plastered on his face.
"Ah, I'm assuming you're Carlos Madrigal"
Carlos chuckled at the woman as he goes down to meet her face to face, he takes her hand and kisses the back of it. She watched him in bewilderment, blushing.
"Great to finally meet you, Nadia Cordona"
"...Likewise"
"Your name sounds perfect for the blank space I've saved for you"
Tumblr media
taglist: @vanevafu , @irisia-ckzkb1109 , @elegantkidfansoul , @candykamikun , @cahmilo , @pochi-moochika , @justzei , @try-cry-why-try , @nanaisheretomessupthings ...join here
masterlist
64 notes · View notes
helloalycia · 3 years
Text
my happy ending [one] // kara danvers
summary: your crush from work decides to make a move, but she keeps putting off telling you something that you don't realise is actually really important
warning/s: none
author's note: i'm still working on a bunch of stuff but here's some old stuff to tide you over as i do. this is part one to a two-parter! enjoy :)
part two | masterlist
Tumblr media
I sketched out some designs at my desk, ideas for some new Instagram and Twitter marketing CatCo we were planning to do. I was in charge of social media marketing at CatCo Worldwide, so things like this were routine at work. What wasn't routine was the cute blonde, Kara, AKA Cat Grant's assistant, approaching my desk with a chirpy smile on her lips.
"Hey, Y/N," she greeted, before setting down a coffee cup in front of me.
I smiled automatically, Kara's presence instantly affecting my mood in a positive way. I glanced at the cup and quirked an eyebrow.
"Hey, Kara. Is this for me?"
She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose adorably. "I was picking up Miss Grant's order and I remembered you said you loved the chocolate orange hot chocolates Noonan's do. So, I got you one."
I felt my cheeks heat up. "Oh, wow, er, thank you. You didn't have to do that."
She shrugged, and I was sure she looked as flustered as I felt. "No biggie."
I took a sip of the hot chocolate and smiled at how good it was, but mostly because of who got it me.
"So, what are you doing?" she asked, walking around my desk and sitting at the edge. She glanced at my sketches and added, "Is that the new fashion post for our social media accounts? They look amazing!"
"Just some sketches, but eventually they will be," I said, before nodding. "And thanks. I just need the photos so I know what I'm working with. Gotta ask the new guy, James... you met him yet?"
Kara nodded. "Yeah, I just bumped into him earlier."
"Can you believe he knows Superman?" I asked with disbelief. "How awesome is that?"
She smiled with amusement. "Extremely awesome."
"Keira!"
Kara lost her smile when Miss Grant called for her, before looking to me apologetically. "I should–"
"It's cool," I said, nodding for her to leave before Miss Grant tracked her down. "Thanks again for the drink."
Kara flashed me a smile. "Anytime. See you later."
I watched her walk away, waving as she glanced over her shoulder. I found myself biting my lip to contain my own smile, feeling butterflies in my stomach.
Kara Danvers, assistant to Cat Grant.
Ever since she began working here, I found myself crushing on the blonde and her cute mannerisms. We were friends, occasionally hanging out outside of work and doing things together. But that's all it was, sadly. I knew she was friends with Winn – best friends, I think – and I also knew that the tech guy was practically in love with her. I didn't know him as well as I knew her, but I knew enough to not want to get in between the two of them. So, Kara Danvers remained a silly little crush.
I got back to my sketches, managing to draft up some mock-ups on Photoshop before my day ended. I was more tired than I thought that evening, ending up falling asleep earlier than usual. Which meant that I missed the biggest news in National City yet – a mystery woman saving a plane from crashing, possibly a new superhero.
I woke up the next morning to a million and one calls and texts from colleagues at CatCo, all expecting me to get on social media to post about this mystery woman. By the time I got to work that morning, I was caught up with everything and in awe at this new superhero we had. It was pretty darn awesome!
The amazement I felt however was short lived, as Cat was all over me when I got to the office, claiming I should have been on top of our social media coverage as soon as it happened. Apparently me falling asleep wasn't a valid enough point to miss it, so I was put to work instantly, working with the photography and marketing department to find some sort of coverage on this mystery hero.
As I was lining up some posts with the limited images available of this hero, I felt a presence stop by my desk and saw it was Kara.
"Morning," she greeted, before glancing at my computer. "Oh, so you heard?"
I chuckled. "Kind of hard not to. It's everywhere." I nodded to the many TVs around the office that were playing reruns of the news coverage from last night.
"Pretty cool, right?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips.
"Very, but it also means I now have a lot of work to do, especially because I fell asleep when all of this went down," I said, jokingly. "Cat has been all over me about this all morning."
Kara laughed and it was literally the best thing I'd heard all day.
"So, I was actually hoping I could tell you something," she said, an excited smile on her face as she met my eyes.
I felt a little flustered under her gaze and found myself distracting myself with my computer screen momentarily.
"I actually have a lot of things to do right now,” I said regretfully. “Maybe later?”
Her smile faded as she nodded. "Right, no, yeah, that's totally fine. Sorry."
"No, no, don't apologise," I said instantly, feeling a little bad. "I just– if I don't get this done, Cat will kill me."
"I got it, you do this, it's cool," she said reassuringly, offering me a small smile.
"Sorry," I tried, a little sad that there was nothing I could do. I really needed to get this done, despite wanting to spend some more time with Kara.
"It's fine, good luck," she said, giving me a grin and thumbs up before leaving.
I sighed, before getting back to work. Unfortunately, it was a few hours before I could get away from my desk, and I managed to track down Kara at her own desk, remembering she wanted to tell me something.
"Hey," I said, earning her attention.
She looked up from her notebook, smiling when she saw me. "Hey, you manage to get that content done?"
"Just about," I said, before offering a small smile. "Sorry again for blowing you off."
She waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine, honestly."
"I'm free now though," I said optimistically. "Maybe we could grab an early lunch? You can talk to me then?"
Kara pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she nodded slowly. "That sounds nice actually, yeah."
I felt a little relieved when she agreed. "Great. Well, I'll let you get your things and meet you by the elevator?"
She pursed her lips, suppressing a smile. "You got it."
We ended up getting lunch, as agreed, and it was nice to make it up to her. Though, I never really noticed that she never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so distracted by how smoothly our lunch was going that I forgot to ask her about it. Maybe if I'd asked, she might have told me the truth. Or she might have made something up and lied. I guess I would never know.
Did somebody say tiny umbrella drinks? #gottalovethetinyumbrellas #CatCoFoundation [image here]
I sent yet another tweet and picture out from CatCo's Twitter account, watching as it instantly got responses from everyone. I was at an event that Cat was throwing for all CatCo employees plus special guests. It was an event to raise money for Cat's foundation – a charity for children's hospitals in National City. My job was to live-tweet the heck out of the event, hoping to boost donations online.
It was a formal event, so I was comfortably dressed in some high-waisted pants and a silk blouse, it being my best attempt at 'formal' clothes.
The event wasn't too bad. There was free food and drinks, plus I got to hang out with some of my friends from work whilst doing the bare minimum. I just wasn't an evening person, I guess.
"Hey, stranger," a voice startled me, and I turned around, surprised to see Kara Danvers stood there.
I hadn't seen much of Kara in the past few months, despite working with her. She always seemed to be caught up with Winn, and she'd gotten quite close with the not-so-new guy, James Olsen. I wasn't stalking her or anything, but I began to notice when I would try to make plans with her like we used to – little things like grabbing coffee or going to watch a film after work – and she would decline or have plans already. Then I'd see her constantly being surrounded by Winn and James, so I figured she'd just made new friends.
"Kara," I breathed out, smiling as I took in her appearance. "Hey."
I hadn't seen her at all this evening and I was sure she just showed up because I definitely would have noticed how good she looked in that fitted red dress of hers.
"You look really nice," she said, looking me up and down before meeting my eyes.
"Thanks," I said, hoping my cheeks didn't look as warm as they felt. "So do you. You liking the event?"
Kara looked around, nodding. "It's beautiful."
"You did a good job," I said, giving her a knowing smile. "I know you planned it."
"This was all Cat, I just–"
"Kara, everybody knows you plan the events around here," I told her with a chuckle. "It's okay."
She smiled to herself, looking down. "Right." It went quiet for a moment before she looked up and said, "Do you want to dance?"
I was a little taken aback by her confidence, but nonetheless, I found myself nodding. She smiled as she held out her hand. I took it, feeling goosebumps from how soft her hands were.
She led me to the dance-floor, stopping and resting a hand on my waist, the other holding my hand. I nervously rested an arm on her shoulder as I focused on swaying to the music playing rather than stepping on her toes.
"I feel like I haven't seen you in a while," she said after a moment. I looked up and saw her blue eyes staring right through me.
"Well, we've both been busy," I attempted to give a reason.
She shook her head, smiling apologetically. "No, it's not that... it's my fault. I've been hanging out with James and Winn so much lately that I've been neglecting you."
I laughed a little awkwardly. "Kara, it's okay. You don't need to feel bad for having other friends. I mean, you don't have any obligations to me. They're your best friends. Of course you're gonna hang out with them."
She pursed her lips and I admittedly felt nervous as she stared at me, her expression unreadable. She was a little taller than me which didn't help with me trying to keep my emotions in check. She was extremely close to me as we swayed to the music and I could just about focus on it as she continued to stare at me.
"What if I want to have obligations to you?" she asked, and I almost thought she was joking until I realised that she wasn't.
I wanted to understand what she meant, but I didn't get to ask because she leaned forward and closed the gap between us with her lips. I was surprised at her boldness, pinning Kara for the shy type. Nonetheless, I returned the kiss, melting into her embrace and warmth.
We pulled apart soon enough, myself a little flustered from the kiss. My lips were still tingling as she met my eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips.
"I hope that was okay," she muttered.
I nodded slowly, still surprised. "Yeah, it was."
My stomach was doing somersaults as I mirrored her smile; the gala was merely a blur in the background as I realised Kara Danvers had just kissed me. I definitely wouldn't have thought she felt something for me other than friendship.
"I'm assuming you want this to go somewhere," I said, a little stupidly.
She laughed melodiously as she nodded, intertwining her fingers in mine. "That's the plan, yes. But actually, er..."
"Second thoughts already?" I joked, though inside I was genuinely believing she might be second-guessing her decision, judging from her sudden change of facial expression.
"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "It's just, I feel like we should talk first. I have to tell you something. Before this goes any further."
She sounded quite affected by whatever it was, so I nodded, losing my smile for a moment.
"Of course, you can tell me whatever you need to," I reassured her, giving her hand a little squeeze. "Do you want to talk now or after?"
She opened her mouth to reply, but tilted her head to the side as she grew distracted. I waited patiently, expecting her to snap back into reality, but she seemed caught up with something else.
"Kara? You okay?" I asked, growing a little concerned.
"What? Yeah, sorry," she said, shaking her head before meeting my eyes with apologetic ones. "I'm sorry, I have to go for a minute. I just realised I have to check on the desserts for the party."
"Oh, okay." I nodded, giving her a small smile. "You can tell me whatever it is afterwards then?"
She smiled, nodding. "Yeah. I'll be back after, I swear."
I believed her and watched as she let go of my hand, already in a rush to leave. I wondered what was so time-sensitive about desserts, but decided not to question it as I realised the very obvious and surprising fact that Kara liked me.
As she turned to leave, she quickly turned back to me and moved forward, pressing a haste kiss to my cheek. My face heated up as she flashed me a beautiful smile, before moving to leave.
Just danced with the most beautiful girl in the room #CatCoFoundation
I looked up and saw Kara by the door, about to leave, but she stopped when her phone vibrated. After glancing at the screen, she paused and a wide smile graced her lips. Her eyes lifted and she gave me a knowing look before disappearing. I found myself smiling like an idiot the rest of the night.
I guess I should have realised, once again, that Kara never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so caught up in the fact that she returned my feelings that I never remembered to ask her what it was that she wanted to say. Maybe if I'd remembered, things would have ended up a little differently.
Kara and I went on some dates, our relationship blossoming naturally. It was the best thing to happen to me at the time – finding someone who I thought truly understood me, and vice versa. We had inside jokes, an 'our song', a favourite restaurant we frequented; we were happy and it was amazing. I was really falling for her. I thought she was perfect. Nothing could change that, I thought. She was everything I wanted.
"What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?" Kara asked, tilting her head to look at me.
It was moments like this when I was in awe of her beauty, inside and out. She was comfortable, with her hair tied in a loose ponytail and her face makeup-free. Her glasses were balanced on her nose as she stared at me with an easygoing smile and sparkling eyes. I felt a sudden overwhelming flood of love for her as she waited for me to reply.
"I'm in love with you," I blurted out uncontrollably.
She raised her eyebrows slightly, mouth agape as she realised what I said.
"I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. "That was random. And weird. Too soon, right? I freaked you out. I'm sorry."
Kara blinked several times, straightening up as she shook her head. "No, it's not, it's..." I watched her with anticipation, as she found her words. "It's fine. It's... I feel the same way."
It was my turn to be surprised now. I raised my eyebrows, a smile forming on my lips. "You do?"
Kara pursed her lips, eyes flickering up to meet mine. "Yeah."
I breathed out. "I'm really happy to hear that, especially because I thought I freaked you out, but like, I feel like something is bothering you, Kara."
Resting a hand on hers, I squeezed it gently. She offered me a small, troubled smile and I wondered what was occupying her thoughts.
"I trust you," she said gently. "I do. I love you. And I... I want you to know that I think what we have is amazing. I've never been happier."
"This sounds like a breakup," I joked, chuckling nervously. She wouldn't break up with me right after saying 'I love you', right?
"No, no, it's not!" she reassured immediately, taking any doubt from my mind. She leaned forward and cupped my cheek gently. "I'm not breaking up with you, silly."
"Good to know," I said playfully, resting my hand on hers and moving it to my lips, kissing it softly. "What is it though? What's on your mind? You can tell me anything you know."
She nodded. "I know... I can. I will. Now."
I stayed quiet, watching as she had some inner conflict going on. What was bothering her so much?
"I want to say that I–"
But she was cut off by her phone ringing. She rolled her eyes and I offered her an approving smile as she reached to answer it.
"Alex, hey, what's up?"
I sat back, keeping ahold of Kara's hand as she listened to Alex on the phone.
"Are you sure?" Kara said, concern in her voice.
I wondered what was going on, as the blonde was scrunching her brows together with worry. Her hand slipped from mine as she stood up, pacing.
"Okay, I'll be there now," she finished, before hanging up.
"Hey, that sounded serious, is everything okay?" I asked, standing up, too.
Kara nodded, already in the process of grabbing her things. "Yeah, sorry, it's just some family stuff with Alex. I should get going and help her out." She stopped moving and turned to face me, a distracted frown on her face. "I'm sorry. I know we were supposed to spend the evening together and I wanted to tell you something, but–"
"It's fine, Kara, you can just tell me another time," I cut her off, moving forward and rubbing her arm gently. "I hope everything is okay with Alex. I'll just see you at work tomorrow, yeah?"
Kara smiled tightly, nodding. "You're too understanding. It's annoyingly admirable."
I chuckled, stepping forward and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. She had a few inches on me, so I had to step on my tip toes to reach, but seeing the little smile appear on her lips when I did made it worth it.
"Don't get stressed about whatever it is you wanna tell me," I added, meeting her eyes. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I love you and I'm really lucky to have you in my life. I don't think anything will ruin that. Just... remember that, okay?"
Kara nodded, her eyes flickering to the floor. "Thank you, Y/N."
"I'll leave you to it," I said, moving away to grab my coat and put on my shoes. "Good luck with whatever is up, and see you tomorrow."
As I was about to leave, her voice called out, "I love you, too."
I smiled widely at her before leaving, feeling lightweight because of all the love that was bubbling around inside of me. Once again, Kara managed to distract me from the fact that she had something big to tell me, as when I followed up the next day, she assured me that she just wanted me to know that she sometimes moved too fast in relationships and she didn't want me to feel like I was being rushed.
I believed her, blinded by what I thought was my happy ending, and that was that.
171 notes · View notes
Text
HSMTMTS 2x9: so dreaded, so exciting, 'Sword!' (yeah, I went there, I've been thinking about this scene - you know the one - since yesterday for some reason)
After two computer malfunctions and a very tough, very sleepless night, here I am with a third attempt to write this post. The universe is against me today. Is Mercury in retrograde or something? Ugh, I just want to get this over with already. And I haven't even managed to see half the episode yet. You better like this cursed post because it's taken me two hours at this point, and will probably take another to finish - and that is if nothing goes wrong this time. Please bear with me. This is my reaction to HSMTMTS 2x9, take 3. Let's hope and pray it's the last one.
I'm normally [unpopular opinion alert] a very spoiler-positive person (it's the combination of anxiety and ADHD and a bunch of other stuff, I suppose), but for this one I've been refraining from looking at the tag all morning, so by now I'm simply bursting with impatience. But before we dive in, I need to get some stuff off my chest.
Some pre-watch thoughts and feelings (let's see how well they will have aged by the end of the episode):
Seriously, what is with whoever writes this show? I know it's impossible, but I feel like they've been toying with my emotions specifically all season. Like:
Ah, so you were a Rini shipper last season? Great, now we'll make them obnoxious and borderline toxic to the point where you actually want them to break up, but then their old chemistry will be back just for the breakup scene so that you can cry your eyes out over the one couple you couldn't stand - even though you can't seem to relate to a single song from Sour, we'll make you feel like you do for a hot second. At least it will remind you that you loved Ricky.
So you say Redlyn own your heart and soul? Great, we'll make you dread something going wrong with them for a week straight, and mess up your sleep schedule beyond repair over it. You're welcome!
We heard you said Rodfini give you life? Perfect, how about a big Seblos fight? And would you like a side of questioning your choice to stan Carlos with that? Because what is life without a little anxiety, a bit of doubt of your ability to read people, and a pinch of existential dread, right?
Ah, so you claimed not to ship Portwell romantically, is that right? Brilliant, we'll make you ship them and then we'll use that to torture you, too.
You've been excited about ABF and Asher Angel guest-starring ever since they were announced? Magnificent! We'll make you hate ABF's character to the point where you can't even look at him, and we'll make you call him names you thought yourself incapable of uttering. And as for Asher, you'll be left waiting for him until the last third of the season, and then you'll dread the possibility of hating his character, too. Do you love us yet?
Oof! Right then, I've got that out of my system. Time to dive in.
Miss Jenn playing around with the backgrounds is, like, 90% of the people who had online school this year, and honestly, I love that for her.
Wait, why is Nini first on this call? Are they going through with the Rose thing? Cos like, the song is nice and all (and, might I add, much more to my taste than nearly all of Sour, don't @ me), but if they use it, it will get them disqualified. They’ve been told that! Gosh, please let me be wrong about this.
We get it, Carlito, rich and fancy and over-the-top is kind of your thing, but have you stopped for a second to think about how others will feel about this? Especially Seb, whom you claim to care about. Seriously, though, I love Carlos and would not hesitate to die for him, but I’m getting the feeling that, unlike my other favourite (you know the one), he wouldn’t do the same for me. Oh well, he’ll figure it out. He’s just a kid. Give him time.
Wait, Milky White? Is that an Into the Woods reference I smell? Cool! If I had a cow, I’d totally name her Milky White (or Gertrude, but don’t ask me why). I just hope they don’t have to, like, take her to the market and exchange her for magic beans, if you catch my drift.
Ahhhhh, Caswell cousins content! We love to see it!
‘You guys are watching, like, old old movies’ WTH, Nini (or is it Nina)? Scary Movie is literally younger than me. But what do you know about it, you 21st-century baby! Ugh, I don’t know why I’m being so hostile today... must be the lack of sleep. Hope it doesn’t influence my reactions to the episode so dramatically as to make me forget how much I love this series. Because I do.
Yay! Big Red is here! I can finally smile. And did Ash just say they’re soulmates? Because yes they are! Ahhh my heart is going to explode.
‘Nini, have you heard from [Ricky]?’ Yikes, awkward... but of course, Big Red can be counted on to save the day here, too.
Ok, so that was a cool cold open. Time for some nice in-person scenes, though. I did not spend all of three semesters doing online school just to have the characters of my favourite series do the same.
Wow, Gina is really embracing that French accent thing! And I really don’t want to think about, erm, ‘Napoleon over here’ right now, but I really think the fact that she’s doing it better than him will be another piece of evidence towards my theory of fake-French!Antoine... ugh, I said his name. Oh well. Back to Gina. Too bad the French thing didn’t work out for her.
Ahhhh, Portwell with Ash in the background! And Ash is going to paint EJ’s nails! I feel like he’s going to end up loving that, despite what he says right now. But seriously, I just love how comfortable these two are with each other. Can you blame me now for shipping them as friends? Well, I mean, it’s obvious they will be more than friends, and somehow, despite the amatonormativity of it all, I’m here for it.
Wait, was that Asher? That was Asher, I’m 100% sure of it. And Gina said ‘a sign’ and then looked at him, even from the back... what am I supposed to think and feel here? I’m confused. Moving on.
Ahh, poor Ricky being a burrito... good thing that breakup scene last time reminded me that I love him, because the entirety of the season before that was very good at making me forget that.
Wait, did she say ‘the Bean’? As in, that Bean? The infamous Bean? LOL.
‘So the only time you two talk to each other is to gossip about me’ Boy, did I feel that. I once got my hands on my dad’s mobile and I... kind of went through his texts with mum. Yep, all about me and my brother. At this point I feel like they’re only together because of us. But this is getting too personal. I’m here about the episode, not to rant about my family. Moving on.
Yikes, looks like Nini’s got writer’s block all over again. Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? Because I kind of don’t. I mean, no hate towards her, none at all, but that entire scene just felt awkward and unnecessary. And not just because it’s her first time going live. That I can understand. What I don’t understand is why the writers can’t seem to do anything creative and interesting with Nini. Olivia is being wasted there. Idk, that’s just how I feel. Again, no hate.
Ahhhhh it’s Asher! And well, he’s not Jonah, but I kind of really like him as Jack. I wonder if that will last.
So is it just me, or is anyone else not quite sure how to feel about Ricky’s mum? I mean, their interactions seem kind of awkward and strained, but that’s how it’s supposed to be given their recent history, and yet something just doesn’t sit quite right with me.
‘You there, Muse? It’s me, Nini!’ Ah, so it’s Nini again? I didn’t get the memo. Gosh, this episode is kind of really underwhelming. The most exciting thing so far (but not nearly as exciting in practice as it was in theory) – Asher and Sofia’s on-screen reunion. The second most exciting thing? The thought of Ash painting EJ’s nails. Everything else? Kind of ‘whatever’. Is this what I tossed and turned about all night? Totally not worth it. This episode better get, like, 300% better right this instant. It’s just not worth all the frustration and excitement and dread so far.
Looks like my prayers from just now have been heard! That improv scene was hilarious! Guess it was lucky that Miss Jenn had them do improv before this moment. But I need to know more of Jack’s backstory now.
Ok, so that was awkward! So Kourtney is talking to Howie again, I guess. And I guess I know now what Carlos did that was all public and no subtle. Still, what’s wrong with posting photos from your holiday? Guess I don’t exactly know yet what Carlos did to piss the others off so much.
Great, now I’m tempted to google butterfly faces. Good thing I’m not eating anymore. *** Ughhhhh this was a mistake! Please don’t ever look a butterfly in the face if you want to stay sane. Don’t be like me.
Ahhh the Duke sweater! ‘Is that your boyfriend’s?’ Well, not quite yet, it’s not... *screams in Portwell*
Oh, now we’re talking! But seriously, Ricky? The ‘my friends think’ card? Why don’t you just say ‘I think’? It’s clearly something you’ve thought about a lot. I feel like I’m going to love this scene or cry over it or both.
Ooh, therapy. It’s not just... basically the entire fandom... who says it now. Please tell me that means Ricky will be going to therapy at some point. Says the girl who is currently firmly refusing to go to therapy in favour of hyperfixating on HSMTMTS and getting back into the good old practice of having imaginary friends... yeah, I’m one to talk.
My, my, my! Seb has really had it now. I mean, it was about time, but... not quite like this. My heart is starting to do some weird stuff, I can feel it. I might need to lie down.
Ok, so as much as I envy North High for getting to see so many shows on BWay – basically living out my dream – stalking East High on Instagram and being shady about them taking a well-deserved break... just goes beyond all limits. I mean, if you’re so into Broadway shows, you should know as well as I do what happened the last time a certain founding father did not take a break. Maybe you’re the ones in need of a break here.
Nini on the call with the Caswell cousins, though... ‘I’m obsessed with both of you’ – first relatable thing she’s said or done all season. And EJ playing with old toys is pure gold.
Oh, so Jack’s dad is a pilot. Makes sense, I guess. I’m kind of intrigued by this guy. Just as long as he doesn’t try to come between Portwell before they’ve had the chance to happen, you know...
Ashlyn might need to stop swooning over Nini’s songwriting or Big Red might get jealous... I mean, I would not have pinned him as the jealous type before 2x7, but ever since then... I guess insecure + dating a girl like Ash = the jealous type. And although that looks good on him, I’d bet anything it doesn’t feel particularly pleasant on his side. So... wait, why am I talking about Big Red? He hasn’t even got anything to do with the scene at hand. But then again, there’s been so little Big Red content in this episode that I seem to be trying to make up for it. Still. Stay focused.
Ooh, so Big Red did edit that video! Is there anything my boy can’t do? Ok, now I feel like he’s even more criminally underappreciated than he was before. But let’s look at the video. I’m curious to see the whole thing because that sneak peek from yesterday simply hasn’t been enough.
That was... really, really cool! I love how they took the ‘when they go low, we go high’ line from last time and run with it. Now if only they were putting as much effort into BATB... North High wouldn’t know what hit them.
Hmmmm... I guess Gina and Jack could be what I originally wanted Portwell to be... really cool friends. Unless it’s one of those ‘airport magic’ things. Oh well. It probably is. Was that all we’re seeing of Asher here? I did not wait 2/3 of the season for this. Though it was nice.
Ooh, Ricky’s solo song... why is there more Rini chemistry in this song than there was in all the season? Not counting the breakup scene, of course. Also, I feel like it’s just as much about him and his mum as it is about Nini. Some say music is the best therapy. I think they might be right. And no, I’m not crying. You are.
The granola bar, though... this episode might have been very underwhelming in the first half, but... it delivered in the Portwell front, and the music was *chef’s kiss*, so I’m willing to let it slide that the advertised Seblos ‘big fight’ was not touched upon nearly enough. Maybe next week...
Ok, now that we’re done watching the episode, let’s see how my feelings from the beginning have aged:
The Rini breakup: apparently, along with reminding me that I love Ricky, it has rendered me unable to look at Nini. What’s up with that? If this is some sort of tactic along the lines of ‘Olivia might be leaving the show so we’re making you hate her character so that you won’t miss her’, it’s not really working. Because I don’t want to hate Nini. Believe me, I don’t.
Redlyn: ok, so there’s nothing wrong with them whatsoever - we even got a ‘soulmates’, which I loved - but first they’re being swept under the rug, and then the antis come at us with that ‘their relationship is underdeveloped’ nonsense. Individually, though, I liked them in this episode (even if there was a significant shortage of Big Red), and Ashlyn collaborating with Nini again was cool, but... what I really wanted to see was her painting EJ’s nails. Did she even get the chance to actually do it? Maybe next week.
Seblos: I’m still failing to understand exactly what Seb thinks Carlos did wrong (please enlighten me if you did catch that, I’m kind of slow), but he (Seb) does have reasons to be mad at him (Carlos)... and at other people, too. Still, if you want to have a fight between two people in a relationship, you could do much better than whatever this episode was. Maybe next week. I notice I’m saying that a lot. Guess I’m putting a lot of hopes on 2x10. I just pray it doesn’t disappoint.
Portwell: boy, am I happy that my frustration on this front did not age well! What I mean is, apparently they’ve decided to bless us, not torture us for once. Even a rather disappointing episode like this one had to have some sort of silver lining. And Portwell is it.
Asher as Jack: well, luckily I didn’t hate him, but... it’s kind of the opposite problem. I loved him and now they’re taking him away from me. Guess I just can’t win here. Oh well. At least he didn’t have the screen time to get in between Portwell...
All in all: 2x10, my hopes and prayers are with you!
14 notes · View notes
bangtann-bangdamn · 3 years
Note
Oh my gosh, Nocturne is finished! Do you know how much I love it?? I've been in this fandom for half of the time you've been writing it but I love it so much. It's one of my fave fics. I wonder why Yoongi took so long to fly to London. But, if it were me, I'm such an overthinker that I need a shock to my system to get the head out of my ass. Was Yoongi like that? 1/2
Tumblr media
Thank you so much for reading!
I partially mentioned why in my last ask, but I’ll go more into depth here: Yoongi’s not really an impulsive man. As much as he would have loved to chase her straight away, flights aren’t cheap (especially long haul flights) and he’s very much a student. Even if he did have the savings to buy a ticket and follow her to london, he would want to make sure that he had somewhere to stay should she reject him. Then it’s the matter of how long he planned to stay, plus finishing up his own academic year of university because, whilst yn was lucky that she could go as quickly as she could, not all courses finish at the beginning of May.
Yoongi would has been looking at it realistically because, no matter how strong his feelings for her are, he has to be real. His first goal was saving. But then as time passed, his second problem would be how to surprise her. And then the inevitable worry that she would have moved on (which was also why he low key stalked her on Instagram through anyone who was willing to let him - aka, Namjoon).
TLDR: Yoongi thinks too much 😂
You connected with the characters?!? With both of them?!?
🤧 I think that might actually be the highest praise I have ever received, ever.
Excuse me, I’m going to cry now 🥺😭
3 notes · View notes
blissfulsaturn · 4 years
Text
Story time:
March 2nd, 2018
A month before this date i went to the movies and watched The Maze Runner : The death cure. I went alone because two of my friends bailed on me (for weed/girlfriend) and my own brother, because he was ill. So i went alone and had a blast. What is totally normal for me is to get addicted to the characters and read fanficion and search for pages about them etc. The 3rd part of TMR came out 2 years later than when it was scheduled because the main character (Dylan O'Brien) got injured on the set and the movie couldn't continue without him. Back in 2016, I was addicted to them, and yet again in 2018. I shipped two characters Thomas (Dylan) and Newt (Thomas Brodie- Sangster), and they were everything to me. I've been reading and writing about them, watching the interviews of the entire cast, BTS, stalking so many pages because of them...which is totally normal for me.
On that Friday morning, i had a class at 8am and it was also the day of my big presentation on which I've been working the entire previous day. I woke up and rushed to YouTube to see if there's something new about Newtmas. And then i saw a fanvideo that caught my attention; a thumbnail showed two pairs of legs, big and small, lying on bed, intertwined. Back then, i had no idea they were Elio and Oliver, during their first night. I didn't watch it, i saved it, and then i saw that Thomas BS was in a show called Godless, there was a trailer. I didn't watch it, i just made a mental note to watch the TV series when i come back home. Yes, that was my goal for the day.
I went to class, kicked ass with my presentation, got a perfect score and, because it was snowing, i wasn't rushing back home, i love the snow. My grandmother lives 20 minutes from my University so i decided to go and visit her. On my way to her i called her, she didn't answer, so i went outside her door and when nobody answered, i turned around and went home. I enjoyed the snow on my way back home.
On my way home i scrolled through Google and saw that there were Oscar nominees. The Oscars were 2 days away. I read about some but the entire attention was focused on only one movie and on one actor : Call me by your name and Timothée Chalamet. I had no idea what was it about or who he was (i didn't recognize him from Interstellar). So i read about the plot and my God, i swear to you, when i saw that it was an LGBTQ movie and that Armie Hammer was the other character :SOLD!
I've been a fan of Armie's for years and he's always given me such gay vibes and the fact that he starred in this type of movie, I thought "Finally, something where he'll shine!" and my gentle giant did shine. As for Timothée, i read his name and thought "Huh, he's probably a tall black haired dude", and he waaaaas, i had no idea what he looked like until i got home and searched his name. I was sold, he was, still is, beautiful. I was hooked to the both of them almost immediately.
So I got home, ate something, and somewhere around 8 or 9 pm I started watching Call me by your name. I never made a bathroom break, never played with my phone, never paused it; my full attention was on the movie in front of me. I don't think i changed the way i was lying while watching it. It was like i couldn't blink or breathe or speak. When the movie was over, i cried like i never cried before, it took me about 30-40 minutes to gather my shit and go drink some water so i don't dehydrate. The next morning, i couldn't stop thinking about it. I had to study, but instead of that, i watched the movie again, and the next day as well, and 30 minutes before the Oscars. I watched the Oscars from 2am til 6am, never missed a second and cried again when they won the Best Adaptive Screenplay. Then i took a short nap of almost an hour, got up, went to class. The next day i found the book online and read it. Again...crying like a maniac. And after that...i haven't been the same since. My addiction grew so much that in the first year i lost count after watching the movie for the 20th time, I now own 5 different versions of the book, a fan account on Instagram and a blog here on Tumblr, plus, the multiple fanfics/one shots i wrote about them. I have Elio's bracelets, my Elio shirt, i don't look at peaches the same way and thanks to Elio i now know how to finger them so i get the seed out, and the big finale : why this movie shook me so much is because i, myself, have an Oliver in my life. It hit so close to home.
My day is still filled with everything related to Timothée, Armie and Call me by your name. I've changed so much, in every way possible and i have this movie/book to thank only. They had such an impact on me, i don't remember what my life was before this. I never watched that TV show i wanted or went back to shipping Newtmas.
Two years ago on this exact day, my life changed and changed for good. It's something i can't explain and yet, I'm in a mood to talk about all of this for hours.
🍑🍑🍑
Tumblr media
49 notes · View notes
Text
Sick Kids Group Chat
sonmychest: 🤗 tigerbalm: 👋🧡 tigerbalm: it's been so long! 🙀 how are you?? sonmychest: I know! I suck sonmychest: don't want to be the youtuber spending ten minutes apologizing for not being here though sonmychest: I'm doing pretty good right now, how are you? 😚 tigerbalm: it's a bad day, not a bad life...is what I would caption if I was an instagram influencer or something 😸😸 brainpain: 🦸 speaking for me when I haven't streamed in days LOL sonmychest: 🤭🤭 sonmychest: at least we have reasons for being that #extra that aren't the vague notion of NEEDING a break from taking pictures of our ☕ brainpain: I do spend LOTS of time in a dark room but not for 📸 no flash photography PLEASE 😵 inandout: your feed just updated, Lo brainpain: 👮🚓🚨 sonmychest: stalking or hacking? sonmychest: either way I might need those expertise brainpain: I had a 🌈✨🧁 FIGHT ME, Zachary tigerbalm: it is pretty tbh inandout: friend request, but it's not as if I don't have zero hacking or stalking skills sonmychest: wait, what happened to the anonymity rules??? sonmychest: where's @gotspoons and what have you done with her?! inandout: you missed the overthrowing of a tyrant inandout: not really, but the rule book is gone gotspoons: going to pretend I was summoned by mention, not notification gotspoons: say how you really feel, Zach! 😔 inandout: I said not really, rowboat gotspoons: I have 👀 and 👂 everywhere so you better be nice 😏🤭 gotspoons: but no, hi again, @sonmychest! we missed you! gotspoons: it seemed the whole no names no real life details thing was more of a hindrance than a help to the whole goal of this group, so we came to the conclusion by majority, and the higher ups were all okay with it, providing everyone under a certain age got their parents to sign off and we all used the same common sense we use on other areas of the web gotspoons: so feel free to introduce yourself by real name if you would like, but it's not necessary if you would not 😊 gotspoons: reintroduce, I should say tigerbalm: we shared selfies & everyone was 😻😻😻 brainpain: learned what a sex god @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously aka Rich is sonmychest: 😱😱😱 sonmychest: can't believe I've missed so much sonmychest: need to get better at socialization, my mammy is right 😂 brainpain: an unrivalled love story brainpain: not that he's here to back me up on that inandout: Paris and Helen who? Romeo and Juliet who? Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII who? tigerbalm: wait, those are all 💔😿!! brainpain: he's being a brainpain: insert a swear word of your choice sonmychest: *stage whispers* it's not jealousy though, is it? sonmychest: clearly, fill me in on all the nuances whilst I frantically try to find a picture of myself that's even one 😻 brainpain: he's a 👶 you already know brainpain: but Rich will be leaving me for some uni girl 🤓 so he's not wrong about the doomed part sonmychest: face that launched a thousand ships is a really great insta bio though sonmychest: right, so we have Rich, Zach...who else? gotspoons: Rosie here 🤗 brainpain: Lauren tigerbalm: & me, Robyn inandout: the new girl who started the revolution is Zelda inandout: @ihatemyguts sonmychest: no way sonmychest: a fellow nerd, or at least child-of-a-nerd sonmychest: 'cos I'm Kara and I don't totally hate this photo [selfie] tigerbalm: 😻😻 tigerbalm: you look so like I imagined you, except I thought maybe you'd be 👼 tigerbalm: should we all send new pics? brainpain: [does because any excuse] brainpain: they'll be buried tigerbalm: [a selfie that's even shyer than the first one she sent] gotspoons: [the same photo as before] inandout: if I must [some ridiculous selfie] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: This is a nice welcome back tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and I've only been to physio brainpain: NOT ready for another selfie drop from you, boy brainpain: I'll be on my fainting couch brainpain: also hi tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Perhaps I should save your 🦴s and my pride when poor Kara, hello again btw, has to pretend to swoon too brainpain: 🦸 has great taste brainpain: we all love a shy boy tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: My teachers undoubtedly wish I were shy, make their lives a lot easier tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [a photo] here we are anyway, I hope you found a soft surface suitable for you, Lauren brainpain: ☁ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Ah, so you're the 👼 brainpain: LMAO 😈 brainpain: but you're looking angelic sir sonmychest: how are you ALL so cute sonmychest: this keeps happening, omg tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👼 face hides a multitude of 😈 sins apparently inandout: but reading between the lines, who else is making you swoon/stalk/hack inandout: that's my question tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Well spotted, Zachary 🔎 sonmychest: 🙈 ugh, I'm so embarrassing sonmychest: but we can pretend it's all spilling out now because I played it SO cool in the actual conversation, right 😬😅 inandout: that's the official story, everyone'll confirm sonmychest: thanks, I need the backup so I can also pretend I have lots of friends and a normal social life gotspoons: we are your friends, Kara! gotspoons: though are normal is different from most tigerbalm: & you're coming to my birthday party & even though you have to stand on the other side of the room to Zach, it's still social tigerbalm: OH & we were talking about potentially meeting up!! All of us brainpain: keep it 6ft, children inandout: I'll be in the garden with my date, you can have the indoors with yours inandout: collectively, because we're all speed dating here now inandout: proud of you for picking someone outside this circle sonmychest: GAH so much exciting information today!!! sonmychest: 😁 sonmychest: obviously, I figured no one needed the drama of me falling for you, Zach sonmychest: 💀 not cute inandout: there's already a book and film about it, the chance has been thoroughly missed brainpain: Ignore him, Zelda's nothing but thrilled to find someone else in her age bracket brainpain: 👶👶 brainpain: hit us with your 💞 please sonmychest: well, I didn't just re-log into this chat today, I went on all my old forums because well, boredom, we can all relate, right? sonmychest: what I thought would be the least promising one was the sonmychest: not a dating site, I'm not 100 but you know the kind sonmychest: anyway, the CUTEST boy starts talking to me and he's also really funny and nice ??? tigerbalm: OMG! Did you swap selfies there too? sonmychest: not yet sonmychest: because he sounds so 😻😻 sonmychest: and he wants to talk to me again and he might not if we do tigerbalm: you're 😻😻😻 Kara brainpain: what she said brainpain: + if he's as funny, nice, all of that, as you said brainpain: I doubt he's a shallow jerk inandout: are you a good judge of character or not? inandout: what it comes down to sonmychest: oh, thank you guys! sonmychest: I don't know sonmychest: I think I am sonmychest: he didn't immediately come out with weird requests or weird 📸 of his own and that's a massive start on that site, I was honestly there to 🗑 my account but he changed my mind brainpain: I'll PM you the spooky stories my sister sends me about guys, it'll make you feel better brainpain: you'd know if he was one sonmychest: 🤭 do, can compare notes sonmychest: we honestly just talked about totally normal, nerdy things, it wasn't even a little sketch brainpain: ✉️ + 100000000s brainpain: hold up tigerbalm: that sounds 🧡 & so does this boy tigerbalm: awwhhh sonmychest: [sends the description he sent her slow your roll gal lol] sonmychest: assuming he isn't the archetypal internet weirdo from the 90s scare tactics tigerbalm: WOW inandout: tall, dark and handsome inandout: original sonmychest: okay, I know that covers a lot of bases sonmychest: but someone has to be brainpain: continuing to ignore you, Zach sonmychest: I get it though sonmychest: it's not like I even care what he looks like though, so even if the pics aren't exactly that description brainpain: not every man can be my Rich but doesn't make them 👹/🤡/👻/👽/👥 brainpain: trust your gut, it's not that body part that's failing you tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👹 is a solid representation but the hair needs to be longer tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: at the risk of making myself or Zachary appear like overly protective boys, I think as long as you're as sensible as you surely are with this, then there's no harm in the back and forth tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: so if you were going to meet this person IRL, he could perhaps come to the group meet-up, that would be a good way to do it? brainpain: *🧝🏻 that's what needs to be said about your representation tigerbalm: Great idea, Rich! 😺 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: when the beard comes in I'll look more Gimli than Elrond but I'll take the compliment 👽 babe from outerspace brainpain: who's watching the LoTRs with me? gotspoons: count me out, I'm the worst film buddy ever 😴 ihatemyguts: how many naps could you have in 20hr28mins assuming we're watching everything extended release 'cos duh ihatemyguts: 🥳 go hard or go home 🥳 brainpain: that's you in ihatemyguts: of course ihatemyguts: long since stopped asking for a pause every time I gotta 💩 ihatemyguts: adept at catching up with the plot is a life skill I didn't expect to gain like this but 🙌 gotspoons: 😅 I could do the whole 20hr28mins and that not be a record for how many hours I've slept consecutively brainpain: I'll act it out for you, I can get the 🧝🏼🏹 costume together during the pauses brainpain: dressing up box runneth over sonmychest: 🙋 dibs Arwen sonmychest: my old Katniss cosplay can be repurposed with some bedsheets and a 👸 vibe to it brainpain: that makes Rich your daddy 👀 you, babe sonmychest: 😖😳 nooooooooooo brainpain: I'll be Galadriel if only so I can speak to my man telepathically 💕 brainpain: swerving off book for that love connection ihatemyguts: obviously eye of sauron ihatemyguts: jokes write themselves inandout: hair of a hobbit wig so likewise inandout: and you know, a jew, gonna be the one to handle the 💎 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: How hairy are your feet, a pickup line that doesn't get thrown about enough inandout: not sending you free feet pics inandout: PM for prices though tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Respect the hustle, Zachary tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but I have clearly pledged myself and my allegiance to an e-girl already 🧝🏼🏹 brainpain: changed my Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim name to Galadriel for you, Richard, you've officially made me basic brainpain: will cite it in the divorce tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as I can proudly produce said divorce to every mouthbreather that calls me a freak, I am okay with that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: devastated, naturally 💔 but okay brainpain: hit me up for multiple re-marriages at your convenience, I like that for us tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Make a solid livestream 👰💒🤵 gotspoons: I'll get officiated! tigerbalm: imagine if any of us actually did get together cos of this forum gotspoons: You never know, Robyn gotspoons: it would be so adorable 😊 tigerbalm: Kara is giving me hope that online dating doesn't have to be a minefield sonmychest: don't give up yet! sonmychest: you're so lovely, a total catch tigerbalm: there still isn't a blushing 😸 emoji & I NEED it ihatemyguts: a travesty ihatemyguts: who do we need to @ for that brainpain: @fibrofog brainpain: he was a BIG DEAL ihatemyguts: 😏 hoping he comes back and I can 👰💒🤵 him obvs brainpain: 🔺 between me/him/Rich was prime in my life ihatemyguts: glory dayz brainpain: if he doesn't show up to stop our first wedding ihatemyguts: Zach won't even properly date me until we're confirmed #foreveralone at 18 inandout: you don't call this properly dating? inandout: @Kara you've got yourself a hater before your romance has fully taken off ihatemyguts: oi, don't drag me in to your 🧂 behaviour ihatemyguts: I'm very nice, I swear inandout: that's just how I taste inandout: she knows brainpain: if I didn't know my CF facts I'd be calling for a ban brainpain: that sounds filthy sonmychest: first declaring Rich my daddy, now 👅 Zach 😲😲😲 sonmychest: I'm also quite nice but not that kind of nice, I 🤞 tigerbalm: I don't think I wanna know.... inandout: But I'll tell you inandout: when we sweat, we lose too much salt, one of our many flaws inandout: on a hot day, you could lick us and taste it, if we like you enough to let you sonmychest: maybe that can be enough of a selling point? sonmychest: if crush boy talks to me again and it invariably comes up inandout: he might get to see it crystallise on your skin, not 💎 or ✨ but hey sonmychest: such a sexy condition, when you leave out all the mucus inandout: ZZ top is feeling it, she wants to properly date me ihatemyguts: 🧂 is a flavour I can enjoy pretty unrestricted ihatemyguts: let me have some pleasure tigerbalm: do the normies flirt like this too? tigerbalm: Kara you'll have to tell us, when you go further undercover ihatemyguts: don't know how lucky you are to have that pickup line in your back pocket ihatemyguts: just add tequila and a lemon and you've got a good time sonmychest: I'll 100% report back, providing he doesn't go 👻 brainpain: you need a drink when a boy lovingly strokes your hair only to feel the dent in your 💀 sonmychest: but also, to work out if your amazing hair is real or nah brainpain: I have too many split ends to be asked if it's a wig sonmychest: I ✂ my own sonmychest: and not often enough 😅 brainpain: don't reach for the bleach cos Robbie sees you as a blonde, there's my sisterly/old lady advice sonmychest: oh God, with these brows? sonmychest: I can swear I won't do that, along with meet up with internet randos alone brainpain: I'd volunteer to come along but I don't do disappearing into the background brainpain: would wear a trenchcoat for the right 💸💸 gotspoons: Normies definitely TRY to use our disabilities as a way to flirt with us, with varying success gotspoons: the amount of time I spend in bed is nothing to be 😏 about, honestly gotspoons: even if I was also chiming in to confirm blondes do have more fun, when they've had all their vitamins, a perfect amount of sleep, the stars have aligned JUST right... 🤭 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as resident ♿ user, they most ask if IT 'works', which is a bizarre level of care for people who aren't concerned about how me getting into their establishment really 'works' tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and, my dear, you are a terrible third wheel tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🔻 suits you better than obscurity 😎 brainpain: but I am a fun time with the TBI having increased the impulsiveness + removing the few inhibitions I did have 😉 brainpain: inappropriate sexual activity is a listed symptom 🤞 boys ihatemyguts: definitely a case of 'okay when I point it out to embolden myself, creepy if you do it' ihatemyguts: think some normies point out their flaws to be endearing but idk, is low-key a disability superpower guys, + 1 for us brainpain: like, what does that mean? Inappropriate for who? Answers on a ✉️ please ihatemyguts: could range from, science, you're being a prude to calling you a master criminal on the low brainpain: so many of my symptoms could describe anyone in their teens or early 20s brainpain: Rich, write a smart boy uni essay on it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: depending on the bit that gets damaged, could be the same part that isn't yet fully developed in young people tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: checks out 🧠 brainpain: you're SO clever brainpain: you'll be fighting off more than one 🤓 girl tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm not sure about that, on either count tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though the chair is a useful battering ram when it needs to be brainpain: I'm into it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: then you can hitch a ride, of course brainpain: reserved™ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the parking is unparalleled brainpain: not allowed to drive, you are my transport now, no pressure gotspoons: Me either, who can? gotspoons: need to work out the carpool situation brainpain: my housemate will, she owes me 10000s of favours inandout: + my parents tigerbalm: mine too but they're a lot to inflict upon anyone sonmychest: ^^hard same tigerbalm: maybe we get ourselves there unless someone can't? tigerbalm: & those people speak up sonmychest: That makes sense to me brainpain: ok, is there anyone who needs a lift? ihatemyguts: I'm good tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: likewise gotspoons: I'll make a permanent post where people can register interest in the meet-up, as well as need for a lift gotspoons: so anyone who can offer a lift, can respond there too, sound good guys? 😊 inandout: cool inandout: very un-tyrant like gotspoons: thank you, Zach 😏
1 note · View note
smolwritingfriend · 6 years
Text
Fun fact about me: I love dolls, specifically custom dolls. It's a special interest of mine. I customize them myself, I watch videos of YouTubers who customize dolls, I stalk doll blogs, I have a dream doll I want to save up for and eventually get. (I also regularly reblog doll stuff on my personal blog, but, unimportant.) Recently, I was watching a doll video in which my favorite doll customizer made a steam punk inspired doll, and she gave it a creepy, cute, steampunk bunny mask with glowing eyes, that she crafted out of tin cans.
And more than anything right now I want to build my own version of this mask, on a large scale, for me. Maybe cosplay the doll, but more importantly, that mask.
So I've been annoying my family by obsessing and trying to think of ways we could craft it, bugging my dad for his knowledge of metals and electrical things for help.
I don't think I could ever contact the YouTuber to show them (I don't have an Instagram to use to show them), but they've been such an inspiration to me over the past few years, someone who I've watched to help my anxiety or depression, and someone who got my involved in a new craft. I want to make it, both for myself, and to have a tiny piece of them I can hang in my room, something symbolising creativity, happiness, and inspiration.
(in case anyone's wondering, the YouTuber is Dollightful, and I'm specifically talking about the mask she makes in her Irene Oxide custom video. Y'know, if anyone wants to check her out)
20 notes · View notes