#I'm thinking very gay thoughts today

[nedlittle]

[alt]

2x21 "crisis" really is a perfect episode

#mash #i cannot BELIEVE the plot of this episode was really it's cold and we need to snuggle for warmth #the supply line got cut off so we need communal sleepovers for Morale Reasons #it's PERFECT! #i just know frank is that kid who's like 'can we please be quiet and go to sleep' #frank thinks they're gonna get in trouble if they're too loud #i'm going to finish s2 today and i really enjoyed it overall! #i think it's stronger than s1 (understandably) and the episodes have more rewatchability #however on the other hand there episodes like for want of a boot and as you were that feel like all set up and no payoff #similarly dear dad 3 didn't really feel committed to the epistolary format and didn't do anything interesting or meaningful with it #also bc i am a person who loves spoilers and context i know what happens to henry so every passing episode i am filled with dread #that's my DAD what do you MEAN he's gonna get shot down over the sea of japan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #also mclean stevenson is giving possibly my favourite performance. he's just Saying things by accident #not one word in his mouth has ever been there on purpose he is possessed by the spirit of your dumbest uncle #i'm still lukewarm on trapper. the vulture instinct i feel on account of him looking like buddy the elf has settled #i no longer want to tear that man to shreds out of primal rage i only wish he'd get his own plot & a more distinct personality #those are all my thoughts rn #i have to bribe myself with the Very Special Gay Episode so i can finish this cover letter #id in alt text

[haarute]

i'm sorry but as someone who is always trying to understand most things and most people, the reaction a lot of folks have of immediately dismissing something or jumping to an outrage without having a second to try to reflect on a situation or process empathy is something that i will never relate to and i consider to be a bad mentality to have if left unchecked actually

#not a response to any specific situations that might or might not be the topic of conversation today on tumblr dot com #it's just a general thought that i always have. #and i tend to unfollow people for this sometimes lmao sorry. it just makes me uncomfortable. and i see it frequently. #i've said this before but #i feel like often you can kinda see who has had life experiences that were unfair to them and being angry was their way out into freedom #(which does make sense in the transgender and gay website) #so they default to applying that state to most things because it is What Feels Right To Me Actually and i can't blame them for doing so. #but then there's people like me who like. my life experiences have led me into the Guilt Pit #where i am trying extremely hard to be measured and understanding because i have been very emotionally reactive in the past #or have witnessed things where very emotionally reactive people have caused horrible things to others around them #and i hate that actually and i try as hard as i can not to be that. #which is why i also feel like whenever i see it in other people i'm like. oh boy. i would not get along with you lmao. #and i feel like these are two opposite mentalities that are definitely detrimental to you if gone too far into either direction #so i don't necessarily think either is bad or anything. as long as you're able to pull yourself back and realize that like #you Should dedicate some thought to the rest of the world actually and not default to just ''what i feel is correct always'' #and on the other end realize that sometimes you just have to Let Go #because caring about Everything is unrealistic and you will go Insane and lose your own self if you try to feel for too many other things #which is what i had to learn the hard way. #and also like. sometimes the immediate ''fuck you'' reaction Is super valid. and it's important to learn when that is the case. #but yeah. anyway. mentality. ways of seeing the world. people being different. wooooo. #rambling again in tags sorry.

[astrxealis]

got another person into granblue fantasy, an old friend B)

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #from SCHOOL !! we were just acquaintances before the pandemic but then uhmm #like last year...? suddenly started dming. fun! anyways super nice #oh i realize they are gay and trans too (as umbrella terms) im not as alone as i thought i was irl. nice <3 #yeah ... silly we haven't interacted irl yet we forgor how each other looks but also i found out today my friend in class from last year #remembers me as a friend and all uhm bcs my friend and her were talking about final fantasy... sniffs..... people remember me. wow #so yeah. and then uhm. yeah #THEY DID get into it sometime back but only now super properly i think... i won't be surprised if they don't get too into it though bcs time #and all lol! anyway right my dad uhhh..... oops.......... i forgor me and lune often have speeches relating to the lgbtq community #like the sogie bill should be passed or lgbtq struggles or stuff like that. same-sex marriage? #and they hear us very clearly. the walls are not very soundproof aha and once they were right inside. how fun #YEAH anyway my dad is hinting i think he'll support me and lune no matter what since we are family and idk he's cool i think #mom i'm worried about still but. yeah. i think i'll try to find the chance to come out to my aunt and maybe to her gay friend as well

[quasieli]

I started thinking about Sauhety too hard again and now I'm emotional

#Eli Speaks #Sauhety #I read a lotta poetry today so that's got me gushy #(and also good gay shit happening atm so that's got me feeling in a good way too 😊) #but yeah #I started thinking about Mahety and Halkifell and Shefala and I'm emo #not very coherent thoughts but emo thoughts nonetheless #I did start thinking a bit about Saube going home #making a home with Mahety in a place where she felt welcomed from the moment she got there #and now has a physical and spiritual connection to #g-dddd it's all too much

[jelliedink]

Ancient Vampire Partner as a Service Top Headcanons

Warnings: Pure smut. Mentions of death, blood, violence. No gender specified, but reader do get periods. Implication of abusive relationship. Author's note: I wrote an extensive introduction to this post, but then I realised that was mostly me rambling. So I decided to get straight (and kinda gay) to the point. Shall we? Divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Here's my take on how I think the sexual dynamic between a human and their ancient vampire lover would go:

Your ancient vampire partner knew they had to be gentle and careful with you. Much like us when carrying a newborn puppy, they were aware of how easily your bones could break if they got too excited. Since sex for them was now more of an echo from their human days and not a survival need, they were ok with going without sex for long periods of time, perhaps waiting until you were ready to be turned. For now, they thought it was safer to wait.

You, on the other hand, were very much not ok with this. You were human, your body evolved to make happy chemicals from sex. As if that wasn't enough, the main survival strategy of your partner's species was looking hot as fuck to lure humans, getting their thoughts so clouded by lust that they'd ignore the stone cold touch, the sharp fingernails, the bluish hue of their skin and the sharpness of their teeth. Your whole body went crazy just by looking at them.

They knew you couldn't help it. So, whenever you were needy and in the mood, they didn't mind putting you on their lap, back against their chest, and touch you until you've had enough. They loved being able to make you feel good, whispering on your ear while playing with your body: "What do you want to try today?" "Do you want me to get one of our toys?" "Does it feel good like this?" "Is this intensity enough?"

In the days you desperately needed to feel them inside of you, they ignored their own desire while watching you ride them mesmerised, gently guiding your hips up and down while kissing and caressing whatever part of your beautiful, soft and warm body they could reach. God, how pretty you looked with your eyes out of focus, using their body to get off and scratch that itch.

And when you were too tired they gladly took the lead, paying attention to your every reaction, focusing on how to serve you better: "Hold my shoulders tight so I can reach deeper without hurting you, ok?" "Slow and steady, precious, or you'll be tired before we can have the amount of fun you deserve." "Here, it will feel even better if you touch yourself too."

But they were far from being selfless. The moment you got your period they morphed into a feral and self-serving beast, unable to control themselves any more than a hungry lion would if near a trapped deer. This was one of the very few times they could feed off of you and they were not letting all this food go to waste.

You'd get properly cushioned in a comfortable position, a heating pad on your lower belly, your legs on their shoulders and they would lick you clean. Prepare to be there for a while, no amount of begging would make them let you get up until they're finished. Of course you always tried to. Every time this happened, they'd first try to convince you with love and praises, but their tone got increasingly more authoritative and mean until you couldn't recognise your lover anymore. "My baby, you taste so good." "How can you be so good to me, my little angel?" "Can't you hold on just a bit more? Please? For me?" "Oh, you're being tortured with too many orgasms? You poor thing, that sounds so terrible." "Pretty, you're not getting up. Don't think that you have a choice just because I'm trying to be nice." "Maybe if I show you how painful I can make it you'll realise how good you're having it stop being such a whiny ungrateful brat. You want this, my baby? You want me to hurt you? So don't make me hurt you."

In the end they'd kiss your whole weak body and your puffed teary face while begging for your forgiveness. They'd say they don't deserve you, they are a monster, they just don't know how to control themselves when you smell like this and they were so hungry. You'd be pampered: a hot bath, body massage, your favourite food, that thing you've been eyeing for so long but was way too out of your budget.

They'd do just about anything you ask for. Anything but promise not to do it again.

#vampire #vampire x reader #vampire x human #monster imagine #monster fucker #monster boyfriend #vampire smut #monster fucking #monster smut #oc x reader #vampire boyfriend #vampire girlfriend #service top #pleasure dom #vampire headcanons

[evertomorrowart]

Best of YouTube 2023

Yes, I did spend the first week and change of January on this. I wish I could have had it done for New Years, but too many people came out with incredible work in December, so waiting turned out for the best.

What these creators do are a huge influence on my life, I would honestly have difficulty doing what I do without them. That isn't to say that my favorites of the year are *only* on this image--It was almost impossible to narrow down my favorites. Many creators I wanted to include couldn't fit on a single page, and too many of them made more than one video I wished I could draw too!

But, to all of you, thank you for what you do. You're an inspiration.

For those who don't know, further is an explanation.

At the bottom center is an artistic masterpiece by Defunctland: "Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History." Over the last several years, Defunctland has risen from delightfully-entertaining commentary on decommissioned theme park attractions to occasionally dropping profound statements on the creation of art itself. "Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History" is worth treating like the cinematic experience it is: No second screen, you sit your ass down in front of a TV, set down the phone, and then you *watch it.* Any Disney, theme park, or independent film fan needs to pay attention to this one.

Bottom left is Caelan Conrad with their piece "Drop the T - The Deadly Consequences of Gay Respectability Politics." While I do think they've done more visually or artistically-daring pieces before, "Drop the T" is one of the most important videos released on YouTube in today's current climate of hate. We as queer folk (and our allies) need to understand how integral every identity of the queer experience has been since the start of the Civil Rights movement (and before!). While we are not identical, we *are* inseparable, and we deserve having our real history easily accessible.

TERFs and other conservative mouthpieces need not reply. Your opinions are trash. 😘

I cannot stop watching and rewatching this video by @patricia-taxxon, "On the Ethics of Boinking Animal People." It's not just a defense of furry fandom and its eccentricities, it's a thoughtful and passionate analysis of what the artform achieves that purely human representation can't. Patricia goes outside of her usual essay format to directly speak to the viewer about the elements that define furry media (the most succinct definition I've ever heard) and just how *human* an act loving animal cartoons really is.

As an artist who can draw furry characters, but never really got into erotic furry art, this video is a treasure. Why did I choose to have her drawn as a Ghibli character, hanging out with one of the tanukis from "Pom Poko?" Guess you'll have to watch, bruh.

Philosophy Tube continuously puts out videos that I would put on this list--I'm not even sure that "A Man Plagiarised my Work: Women, Money, and the Nation" is the best work she released in 2023. However, this video got many conversations going between myself and my partner, and the twist on the tail end of the video shocked us both to such a degree that I had no choice.

At the very tail end of the year, Big Joel released "Fear of Death." On his Little Joel channel, he described it as the singularly best video he's ever done, and I'm inclined to agree. However, for this illustration, I ended up repeatedly going back to a mini-series he did earlier in the year: "Three Stories at the End of the World." All three videos are deeply moving and haunting, and I was brought to tears by "We Must Destroy What the Bomb Cannot." While it may be relatively-common knowledge that the original Gojira (Godzilla) film is horror grappling with the devastation America's rush to atomic dominance inflicted on Japan, Big Joel still manages to bring new words to the discussion. Please watch all three of the videos, but if, for some reason, you must have only one, let it be "We Must Destroy What the Bomb Cannot."

Y'all. Let me confess something. I hate football. I hate watching it, I associate seeing it from the stadiums with some of my worst childhood experiences, I despise collegiate and professional football (as institutions that destroy bodies and offer up children at the feet of its alter as a pillar of American culture)--

I. L o a t h e. Football.

But.

F.D. Signifier could get me to watch an entire hour-plus essay on why I should at least give a passing care. AND HE DID IT. I might think "F*ck the Police," the two-parter on Black conservatism, or his essay on Black men's connection to anime might be "better" videos, but this writer did the impossible and held my limited attention span towards football long enough to make a sincere case for NFL players--and reminds us that millionaires can *in fact* be workers. That alone is testament to his skill.

Sit down and watch "The REAL Reason NFL Running Backs Aren't Getting Paid." Any good anti-capitalist owes it to themselves.

CJ the X continuously puts out stunning, emotional videos, and can do it with the most seemingly-inconsequential starting points. A 30 second song? An incestuous commercial? Five minutes of Tangled? Sure, why not. Go destroy yourself emotionally by watching them. I'm serious. Do it.

Their video Stranger Things and the Meaning of Life manages to to remind us all why the way we react to media does, in fact, matter. Yes, even nostalgia-driven, mass-media schlock. Yes, how we interact with media matters, what it says about us matters, and we all deserve to seek out the whys.

Folding Ideas has spent the last few years articulating exactly why so much of our modern world feels broken, and because of that his voice continuously lives rent-free in my brain. While the tricks that scam artists and grifters use to try to swindle us are never new, the advancement of technology changes the aesthetics of their performances. Portions of Folding Ideas' explanations might seem dry when going into detail of how stocks work in This is Financial Advice, but every bit of it is necessary to peel back the layers of techno-babble and jargon and make sense of the results of "Meme Stocks."

Jessie Gender puts out nothing but bangers, her absolute unit of a video about Star Wars might be my new favorite thing ever, but none of her work hit so profoundly in 2023 than the two-parter "The Myth of 'Male Socialization'" and "The Trauma of Masculinity." There's so much about modern life that isolates and traumatizes us, and so much of it is just shrugged off as "normal." We owe it to ourselves to see the world in more vivid a color palette than we're initially given.

Panels drawn after Kate Beaton and "Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands."

"This is Not a Video Essay" is one of the most intense and beautiful pieces of art I've ever put into my eyeballs. Why do we create? What drives us to connect?

I don't even know what else to say about the Leftist Cooks' work, it repeatedly transcends the medium and platform. Watch every single one of their videos, but especially this one.

The likelihood you are terminally online and yet haven't heard of Hbomberguy's yearly forrays into destroying the careers of awful people is pretty slim. Just because it has millions of views doesn't mean that Hbomberguy's "Plagiarism and You(Tube)" isn't worth the hype. Too long? Shut up, it has chapters and YouTube holds your place, anyway. You think a deep dive into a handful of creators is only meaningless drama? Well, you're wrong, you wrong-opinion-haver. Plagiarism is an *everyone* problem because of the actual harm it creates--the history it erases, the labor it devalues, the art it marginalizes--which you would know if you watched "Plagiarism and You(Tube)".

Watch. The damn. Video.

In fact, watch all of them!

Thanks for reading this if you did.

#fanart #digital art #caricature #kate beaton #ducks #stranger things #apes #youtube #2023 #best of 2023 #video essay #hbomberguy #leftist cooks #cj the x #big joel #jessie gender #folding ideas #dan olson #jessie earl #neil and sarah #fd signifier #f.d. signifier #little joel #gojira #godzilla #philosophy tube #abigail thorn #caelan conrad #patricia taxxon #defunctland

[empresskylo]

ೃ⁀➷ call of duty incorrect quotes

⋆｡°✩ all featuring gn!reader insert ⋆｡°✩ AUTHOR'S NOTE | hopefully these aren't cringey lol, i pulled most of them from pinterest. i just thought they'd be fun. let me know if you'd want to see more.

cod masterlist | main masterlist

soap: *bursts into the room, starts panicking* ghost: you: ghost: what happened? soap: no one died you: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER–

gaz: have you heard the joke about the gaslighter? soap: no... gaz: no, you definitely have. soap: no I haven't. gaz: you've literally heard it before. soap: no i haVEN'T gaz: yes you have soap: I DON'T KNOW IT?!? gaz: you're crazy, man. ghost: *hiding his smirk* you: *giggling beside ghost*

soap: I just fell– you: from heaven? soap: no, like I literally just fell– you: in love with me? soap: my fucKING ARM IS BROKEN you: okay, but do you think i'm pretty? be honest.

you: i sleep with a dagger under my pillow. gaz: weak. I sleep with a gun. ghost: you're both pathetic. you: oh?? and what do you sleep with? ghost: soap. you: *spits out drink*

you: what are you, 5? konig [snorts]: yeah, 5 heads taller than you. you: konig: konig: I'm sorry, please don't kill me.

you [on the phone]: uh... price? price [tired]: is the base on fire? you: well...no? price: then it's not an emergency price: *hangs up* gaz: WHAT DID HE SAY? you: he said it's not an emergency. soap [pinned under a cabinet that ghost and alejandro are trying to get off him]: HOW IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY

ghost: i invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game. you and soap [both nodding]: knife monopoly. ghost: i was actually going to hunt you for sport but now i'm interested in whatever the fuck knife monopoly is.

ghost: *is carrying all the groceries* you: *holds out a hand to help* ghost: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold your hand*

you: can you keep a secret? ghost: do you know anything about my life? you: no, i do not. good point.

[you and ghost texting] you: where are you? ghost: turn around ghost: no the other way ghost: wrong way again you: ghost, where exactly are you?? ghost: at base, but the thought of you turning aimlessly in circles amuses me.

soap: go big or go home! you [tears in your eyes]: i am begging you, soap. for once in your life, go home. please. just this once. go home. ghost: *nods in agreement* soap: i'm going big!

soap: hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? you: peonies, why? soap: you: were you going to get me flowers? soap: you: soap: it's a possibility...

you: why are you smiling? price: what? can't I just be happy? soap: gaz tripped and fell in the parking lot.

ghost: i wish i could block people in real life. you: restraining order. soap: murder. gaz: jesus fucking chr–

you: so you don't have a thing for anyone at the moment? soap: well... i didn't say that. you: oh. what's she like then? soap: you're just gonna assume they're a 'she'? you: are they– you: are they not a girl? soap: *gay panic*

ghost: i made tea. you: i don't want tea. ghost: i didn't make tea for you. this is my tea. you: then why are you telling me? ghost: it's a conversation starter. soap [looking between you two, confused] you: that's not really a conversation starter. ghost: oh, it isn't? we're conversing, aren't we? checkmate. you [scoffing]: well it's a lousy one then. ghost: never said it wasn't. you: *looking at soap* soap: *looking at you*

price: what does 'take out' mean? alejandro: food. gaz: dating. soap: murder. you: it can mean all three if you're not a coward. ghost: soap: gaz: price: you: what?

ghost: look, i know you think my judgment is clouded because i like soap a little bit. you [holding ghost's notepad]: you doodled your wedding invitations. ghost: no, that's our joint tombstone. you: oh, right, my mistake.

konig: hello, welcome to our first debrief. konig: today we're talking about... you [whispering]: building loyalty. konig: killing royalty. you [under your breath]: oh my god.

ghost: i am a very bad person. very very bad person. i am a horrible person. soap: you: gaz: ghost: "no you're not, ghost! we still love you, ghost!"

#ghost #simon riley #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #cod #ghost cod #ghost fanfic #incorrect call of duty quotes #simon riley fanfic #ghost mw2 #ghost call of duty #incorrect quotes #cod mw2 #alejandro vargas #johnny mactavish #soap #soap cod #captain price #john price #konig mw2 #konig #cod incorrect quotes

[missmonsters2]

🤝🏽 handholding with nat!!! fluff?? 🙏🏼

I miss her sm I could die

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: hand simping. Missing nat :')

Note: every gay has a hand kink I don't make the rules. I'm also having cursed thoughts but I will spare you all of them. pls do not attempt to guess LOL

Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3

Count: ~0.7

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You think you have an obsession with hands—Natasha's hands specifically. 

They're so...delicate. And slender. They're soft, despite having a few calluses on them. 

You like how you can feel every crevice, ridge, and line of her hands when you trace her fingers and palm.

"That tickles, моя любовь," Natasha mumbles, her focus still on her Kindle as she reads. 

Your head rests on Natasha's lap, but you gaze up at your girlfriend's face. She has her reading glasses on, and it just makes you want to scream. 

You continue to trace the outline of Natasha's hand, dipping into the curve between her fingers softly. A small whine is made in the back of her throat as she looks at you disgruntled through the bridges of her glasses.

You feel like clutching your heart at how perfect your girlfriend looks. 

"If you're going to distract me from reading, I will push you off my lap," Natasha quirks her brow at you. "Wanda has been nagging me for months to finish this book, and if I don't today, I'll never hear the end of it from her."

"Don't be mean," you pout. "I just want to hold your hand."

"Hold it? You're practically molesting it," Natasha's voice is amused, and she doesn't pull her hand away from yours. 

You sigh deeply. "Can you really blame me? You have such perfect hands."

"They're just hands," Natasha's tone suggested she was disinterested, but you could tell she was a little intrigued by your obsession. 

"Just hands?" You smile slyly. "Oh, no, no. Natasha, my dear, you have it completely wrong. They're not just hands."

You adjust your hand to line up against hers, using your fingers to press against hers, flexing them. "Not only are they soft and graceful, but they're kind."

"Kind?" Natasha raises her brow at you.

"Mhm," you hum. "These hands wipe my tears when I'm sad. They hold me gently and brush against my lips and cheek before we kiss."

You move her hand, pulling it closer to your lips, and press a kiss gently against the pads of her fingers. Natasha says nothing, but her hands are getting warmer, making you grin. 

"These hands also wicked."

"Wicked...?" 

You nod, savoring Natasha's confused expression.

"They're very skillful. They often tease me right before making me com—" Natasha slaps her hand over your mouth.

"That's enough," she mumbles, her cheeks and ears flushed. Her brows are furrowed, and she looks both shy and exasperated with you.

Natasha's middle finger rests between your lips, and you open them slightly to bite it. It's not in any way hard, and Natasha ends up rolling her eyes at you before she moves her hand away. "Stop being mischievous."

"Then let me hold your hand without complaints," you grab her wrist back, fingers trailing up to the back of her hand, fingers brushing over her knuckles.

"Should I leave you guys alone? Feel like I'm interrupting," Natasha jokes, wriggling her fingers in your face. 

"Oh, do you mind?" You grin back at her, your eyes glinting with a teasing look. "Probably best if you turn away and don't look at the debauchery we're about to commit."

"Ha-ha," Natasha dryly says, rolling her eyes lightly. She pinches your nose, which makes you scrunch up before swatting it away. You still hold onto her hand and press a tender kiss to the back of her hand, lacing your fingers together.

Natasha smiles at you, her eyes softening as she squeezes your hand.

"Is the book interesting?" You ask, finished teasing your girlfriend.

Natasha sighs, eyes trailing back to her Kindle. "It's not bad, just a bit of a slow start."

"Maybe it will be more interesting if you read it to me," you say innocently while Natasha chuckles. 

Natasha starts to read, but then you interrupt her. "Wait, I don't know what's happening. You need to start from chapter one."

"But that was thirty pages ago," Natasha groans.

"I love you," you say zealously, dragging out the words.

There's a long sigh as Natasha places the Kindle beside her on the couch momentarily, using her free hand to start the book over. 

It would've been easier to let go of your hand to do it, but Natasha remains steady, stroking the back of your hand with her thumb. 

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff fluff #black widow x reader #black widow imagine #natasha romanov imagine #natasha romanov x reader #avengers imagine #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha x you #mm: my fics #mm.drabble.nat

[haunted-headset]

🤍 Did You Just Flinch? 🤍

Summary: You flinched when he yelled at you.

word count: 761

tags: @zuuriell @somebody-v @vibestillaxxx @ax-y10 @joviepog@themonsterunderurmom @ogelizasoot @wilburstan@smolsleepykitten@funnyreally2009@crows-death@dykepunz@aresriiots@0miamor0@defonotval@chipch0p@mazzistar16@unmellowyellowfellow@justalittlebitofchaos@thosecolorfulsheets@vopix@taylors-version-from-the-vault@aine-lasagna@merianakross@veeislost@urfav-sapphic-siren@shazbaz58-blog @wifiatthetrainstation@mcr-pr-fob@shd454@universe-friday@rqvii@idioticion@m0thza@artistphantom @ace-call-me-what-youd-like @lexx-the-gay-rubber-ducky @finleyforevermore @poraphia @radio-to-trenchcoat-demons @mysticalsoot(let me know if u don't or do wanna be tagged!!)

cw: cursing, arguing, use of Y/N, you/yours pronouns used, reader flinches, hurt/comfort, Wilbur being kind of a dickhead, mentions of past abuse, use of a pet name at the end

a/n: hey guys! Quick little story: I watched a video that was basically Wilbur getting mad for like 3 or so minutes, & the first clip was Wilbur pretending to be angry at someone who was interviewing him, & Wilbur yells very loudly & I flinched & I thought "that's a banger idea for a fic, good job, me!" so yeah!! :) here's the video if you wanna see

You & Wilbur both had terrible days. You didn't get a wink of sleep because of work & stress, & the entire week, you two were snippy with each other. You didn't blame him for any of it; he was stressed, & he was tired. Today, however, you were a little angry with him for it. You two had been extra snippy last night & had an argument, & that led to Wilbur choosing to sleep on the couch, & he didn't give you your good morning kisses & hugs when he left for the studio. He just said muttering a goodbye. Not once, in all of the years of dating you, did he ever not kiss you before he left. Even if you were screaming at him the night before or you were both pissed off at each other, he'd still do it.

When you finally got home from work, you found Wilbur sitting at his desk in the office, a mug of coffee next to his laptop. He was tapping his foot repetitively & he looked tired. His hair was tousled & his eyelids were drooping. You walked over to grab the coffee mug & he grabbed your wrist, not hard enough to hurt you.

"I'm still drinking that," he sighed.

"Hello to you too," you replied. He sighed again. "I'm just refilling your coffee for you."

"I didn't ask you to do that," he snapped. "I can do it myself."

"What is your issue today?" you said, somewhat annoyed.

"What's my issue?!" he said, raising his voice slightly. "What's your issue?! You've been such an ass to me this week! You're not making the stress any fuckin' easier!"

"Neither are you!" you said, your voice also raising. "You're being an ass, too! A massive one!"

"Oh, j--FUCK OFF!" he said, now yelling. "Fuck off! You think--you just sat there thinkin' you're tough shit, didn't you, fuckin' wanker?"

You froze. He's never yelled at you like that before.

"I-I can leave & let you be if you want--" you started in a small voice.

"Oh, so you're just fuckin' dumping me now?!" he shouted. "Is that what you're doing?! You're trying to break up with me?! What a fuckin' load of bollocks!"

"No no no no!" you said, still using that soft voice. "I-I was just going into another--"

"What, are you gonna try & cheat on me?!" he yelled, somehow getting louder. "Is that what this is, you fuckin' wanker?"

"Not at all!" you said quietly. "Not at all! I wouldn't dream of--"

"SPEAK UP!" he nearly shrieked as he raised his hand. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

You flinched & covered your head as you shook & were on the verge of tears. He was most likely going to hit you. That's what the last few did.

Wilbur froze. He lowered his hand & looked at you with shock. Tears began to fill his eyes.

"Did you just flinch?" he said, almost a whisper. "Love, I--I wasn't going to hurt you. I would never."

You didn't say anything. You just sobbed.

"Oh my God, darling," he whispered, his voice cracking. He moved your hands away from your face & wrapped his arms around your waist as he took in the sight of your trembling lips & tearful eyes.

"I'm not like him, love," he whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I would never even dream of hurting you, okay? I'm so sorry I scared you. I shouldn't have yelled."

& you broke down in his arms as he buried your head in his chest & let out a few small cries of his own. You both mumbled apologies to each other constantly as you hugged each other like your lives depended on it. Suddenly, he picked you up bridal style & placed you on the bed.

"Wait right here, okay?" he said, brushing the hair away from your face. "I'm going to run the store."

He came back a few moments later with a full grocery bag. When you opened the bag, you saw your favorite snacks, drinks, candy, a plushie, & a pair of slippers.

"Wil, this is too much--" you started. He cut you off with a gentle kiss.

"Nothing is too much for my sunflower," he smiled. "Now, what movie do you want to watch?"

For the rest of the night, you two watched your favorite movies & TV shows, & when it was time to go to bed, you two cuddled & talked & giggled with each other until you fell asleep in his arms.

#wilbur soot #wilbursoot #wilbur #wilbur soot imagine #fanfic #wilbur soot fluff #wilbur soot fanfiction #wilbur soot fic #creative writing #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x reader fluff #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur soot x you #angst with a happy ending #angst #hurt/comfort with a happy ending #hurt/comfort #sad fanfiction #happy ending

[lovelyangrytiger]

Sub!ellie getting a spanking for being a bad girl...

warnings: spanking e!receiving, cunnilingus (e!receiving), harsh language, probably more?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were just trying to clean up your apartment, since who else is gonna do it? Ellie, who's invading your personal practically 24/7? The cat y'all never got because ellie's scared shitless of a cute little tiger?

And maybe if you hadn't been so annoyed today with you and your shitty luck you might not have sent ellie to the couch after she knocked over yet another one of your flower vases.

Now she's sitting on the couch with a pout plastered across her face, watching you as you pace around the house without her. After a few moments though her expression lightens up and she grins at you slyly.

"Come on babe it's just a stupid flower!"

You stopped in your steps and whirled around to look at her.

"Excuse me? Just a stupid flower?"

At your shocked expression, she can't help but laugh. She bites her lip in an attempt to look serious.

"are you laughing at me?"

You stare at her in disbelief, shaking your head and crossing your arms.

"Yeah because it's funny that you get so pissed off over a goddamn flower."

She replies, trying - and failing - to hold back her laugh.

"They're very dear to me"

You mumble with your arms still crossed. Ellie just shoots you a look and mimics your body language.

"that's gay"

"you're gay!"

"you don't say"

She grabs one of the cushions and throws it at you with a giggle, at this point she couldn't stop laughing even if she wanted to, which she doesn't.

"you just want me to bend you over this table and give you a spanking, don't you?"

She wanted to laugh about it, but the thought of being held down and spanked was weirdly arousing to her. Of course big bad ellie would never admit that, so she tries provoking you by laughing even more. And hey, it works. You raise a brow and start walking towards her, a serious expression on your face. Ellie's laughter calms down when you sit in her lap and she raises a brow too.

"do you think I'm joking?"

"Totally. You're kind of a coward"

You stare at her, then stand up before flipping her over. Ellie, surprised, gasps and tries to regain her balance, to no avail. You have to admit you like seeing her like this: face pressed into the cushions, ass in the air and hands behind her back since you're still holding them.

"You wanna say that again?"

You tilt your head innocently. When ellie doesn't speak you start unbuckling your belt. Ellie's cheeks flush lightly due to the position she's in.

"I don't think I can hear you, Els"

"fuck you"

That earns her a slap on her ass with your hand. Nothing that stings too much, but it does the trick. Being used to the feeling of sharp pain, she then grins up at you. She then wiggles her ass in the air.

You shake your head and chuckle, before slowly pulling her pants down. You take a good look at her wet panties, grinning at the sight. You're gonna tease her later about how wet she got over the thought of being spanked by you.

"How many?"

"Shit, you're actually serious?"

Her eyes widen slightly and she tries to sit up.

"I'm good!"

You simply push her back into the cushions and roll your eyes.

"A number"

You growl, making her moan softly.

"F-five...?"

Her tone suddenly becomes less mocking and more shy, the blush still covering most of her face. You run your hand over her ass letting your belt come down on her right asscheek hard. She yelps and flinches, pressing her thighs together.

"count"

You say in a low voice, making her whimper. She groans quietly in embarrassment, before feeling yet another spank.

"I said count."

"One! Jesus..."

You snicker and rub her ass before spanking her with the belt again, and again. She whimpers at each spank and moans into the cushions, pressing her thighs together harder. You slap her one last time before rubbing the spots where you hit her, smirking.

Fuck... this is embarrassing...

She doesn't look at you, scared you'll see how flushed she was. That was until you suddenly shoved her panties aside, licking over her slit. She gasps and tries to close her legs, but you simply hold them apart.

"Fuckfuckfuck..."

She whimpers as you push your tongue into her, eating her out like a starving woman. Your movements are harsh, making her cry out into the pillow, bucking her hips against you to get you to fill her up more. You slap her ass with your hand, holding her down while fucking her with you tongue

"I'm close... please, please let me cum...!"

Oh, you knew she was. You moaned into her cunt, sending a wave of vibrations through her. She tries to bury her fingers into the couch, nearing her orgasm, until... you suddenly pull back, wiping your lips with the back of your hand before pulling ellies panties back in place

"what? No! Nononono, please, make me cum, don't leave me like this!"

She whines in frustration, sitting up and pouting at you, eyes glassy from the immense pleasure.

"That's what you get for being a brat. If you want an orgasm, be a good girl and stop the attitude. Then maybe I'll fuck you after I'm done cleaning.

With that you go back to tidying up the living room, leaving ellie panting and cussing.

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie x fem reader

[nerdygaymormon]

Didn’t he try to get his gay employee to marry a woman lol? I love him, he was a sweet, kind man, but also old and a lifelong Republican.

Most American voters register with one of the two major political parties. I don't know why Fred Rogers registered as a Republican, but what Republicans stood for in the 1950's & 1960's is very different from how we think of that party today. According to his wife, Fred was "very independent in the way he voted."

————————————————————

It is true that Fred Rogers encouraged a gay employee to marry a woman. I think it's an unfortunate part of his history, but I think it's helpful to fill in more of the story.

Francois Clemmons was hired by Fred Rogers to be the first Black person to have a recurring role on children’s television. He would be Officer Clemmons on the show Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, and he kept that roll for 25 years.

In his memoir, Officer Clemmons, Franc shares that one day in 1968, he was called into Fred’s office at the studio.

“Franc, we’ve come to love you here in the Neighborhood. You have talents and gifts that set you apart and above the crowd, and we want to ensure your place with us. Someone, we’re not able to say who, has informed us that you were seen at the local gay bar downtown with a buddy from school. Now I want you to know, Franc, that if you’re gay, it doesn’t matter to me at all. Whatever you say and do is fine with me, but if you’re going to be on the show, as an important member of the Neighborhood, you can’t be ‘out’ as gay. People must not know. … Many of the wrong people will get the worst idea, and we don’t want them thinking and talking about you like that. If those people put up enough fuss, then I couldn’t have you on the program. It’s not an issue for me. I don’t think you’re less of a person. I don’t think you’re immoral.”

Clemmons began to sob because he could only have the job only if he stayed in the closet.

If it had been known a gay man was a regular part of a children's show, it would've been cancelled. Remember, this is pre-Stonewall.

“You can have it all if you can keep that part of it out of the limelight. Have you ever thought of getting married? People do make some compromises in life.”

Francois Clemmons married a woman in 1968. In 1974 they divorced and Franc began living as an openly gay man.

Fred Rogers changed his advice, urging Clemmons to find a gay man he was happy with. He also stopped asking Clemmons to remain in the closet, and he warmly welcomed Clemmons' gay friends whenever they visited the television set. I've read that this change came from Fred getting to know and becoming friends with gay people.

—————————

Having a Black man as a police officer on the show was making a statement in support of Civil Rights. The most iconic encounter between Officer Clemmons and Mr. Rogers on the television show occurred in 1969.

At a time when many community pools were strictly segregated, Mr. Rogers invited Officer Clemmons to join him and cool his feet in a plastic wading pool. As Officer Clemmons was getting out of the pool, Mr. Rogers helped him dry his feet.

This exemplified the message that all people are equal and valued and loved

The core values of the television show were: Love your neighbor as yourself, be kind, say “I'm sorry,” smile, accept people and help them grow, be forgiving, see each day as a new chance to be happy, positive and kind. The show talked about grief, divorce, race issues and disability.

Fred Rogers' character regularly said, “there's no person in the whole world just like you” and “I like you just the way you are.” It was an example of radical acceptance.

In addition to Franc Clemmons, John Reardon is another openly gay man who regularly appeared on Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, so it seems Fred Rogers personally didn't have an issue with gay people, but having them be open on the show was not something possible at that time. I'm sad that an openly gay character never occurred on the show.

Fred Rogers shared that evangelicals would sometimes write to him asking him to condemn homosexuality, and he never would, instead saying he — and God — loved everyone just as they were. Since 1967, Fred and his wife worshipped at Pittsburgh’s Sixth Avenue Presbyterian Church which was a diverse, progressive church where women were equal, social justice was the theme, and since the 1960's has engaged in a ministry to gay people and was the first Presbyterian church to ordain gays & lesbians.

While he was not a public advocate for gay rights, his message of unconditional acceptance didn't exclude any genders, orientations or races.

#fred rogers

[artificial-transmutations]

Hey I'm George. I am a 26 civil engineer working in a big company but it si not what i expected. It is so boring and I am only doing it since it ws what is expected of me. I wish you could transform me into a hot stripper or porn star cause that's has always been my secret dream. I don't wanna be transformed into an object.

Transformation Letters - The gay club

Even writing the letter to the unknown company has been an act of rebellion. All your life, you have been doing what was expected of you. You finished school with good grades and enrolled in an engineering degree program.

The first years were alright. It was still interesting, and you enjoyed the classes, but slowly you had to come to the realization that perhaps, engineering wasn't quite for you. The work was getting more and more monotonous, and the tasks were less and less creative. Regardless, you graduated with an acceptable degree and got a job in the field as a civil engineer.

Now, almost three years later, you are sitting in a small office cubicle, doing the same stuff that you did in the last few years.

"I hate it here.", you think and look at the blueprints on the wall. They are supposed to be "motivating", showing what your company builds. To you, however, they are nothing more than a reminder that the work is dull and unfulfilling.

As you get up and grab the coffee from the machine, you realize just how much of a rut your life has fallen into. Looking at the calendar on the wall, you recognize another thing: It's your birthday today. Yay. 26 wasted years, at least in your opinion. You don't have many friends or family, but for once, you decide to celebrate a bit on your own. You are going to visit a club tonight.

Some hours later, you find yourself in a gay nightclub. You are not out or anything, but your sexuality has been a matter of fact to you for some years now, so visiting a gay bar is on your bucket list anyway. The thumbing music surrounds you, making it near impossible to talk to anyone and even though it feels kind of exciting to be in such a location, you can't help but feeling kind of lonely and displaced here. Seeing all those hot guys dancing makes it terribly obvious for you that you are way too uptight to ever move your body to the music like that.

But... Perhaps you should just... try?

The thought is entirely alien to you, but... strangely appealing. So, you just try to dance to the music.

At first, it feels very awkward and a bit uncomfortable, but after a few moments, you relax. And, to your big surprise, you actually manage to move your body along with the beat. As your self-confidence grows, so does the speed and forcefulness of your movements. Before you know it, you have attracted the attention of a group of three men. Normally, being the center of attention would be something you despise, but right now it feels liberating and right. So right, in fact, that you do something crazy! The stage is empty right now, and, following these strange new impulses, you climb onto the stage and begin to dance to the music. You are still wearing your work attire and it is quickly becoming way too warm as you move your body. So, without thinking, you slowly begin to unbutton your shirt.

To your amazement, the crowd begins to cheer and applaud. It is like a wave of acceptance and approval washes over you, and the more buttons you undo, the more enthusiastic the cheering becomes. It is somehow getting easier and easier to follow the beat. Both your sense of rhythm as well as your physical fitness seem to increase and moving to the music quickly becomes a second nature for you. When you have finally unbuttoned your shirt, you slide out of it and spin it around your hand a few times before throwing it into the crowd. A bunch of hands shoot up, and the shirt quickly disappears. You keep moving to the music, now only wearing a white undershirt, which sticks to your skin and reveals your well-toned body. You have been working out once in a while, trying to keep yourself fit with mediocre success, but even you are a bit surprised how well your body looks right now. Your muscles are defined and bulging and when you pull the undershirt off as well, the cheers rise to an almost deafening level.

It feels like a wave of energy rushes through your body. You can barely think straight and the only thing you can focus on is the music and the movement. You have already gotten used to being the center of attention, but now, even more people join the crowd around you. They are staring at your body, and you can clearly make out their lust and admiration, making you smile. The next thing to go, is, of course, your pants, which you slowly peel off and, as with the shirt, throw them into the crowd, where they disappear as well.

Your movements are becoming faster and faster, and soon, you have almost completely shed your clothes, revealing your athletic and lean body, now shining with sweat. Your ample bulge is thinly veiled by your pair of bright blue briefs that do their best to set your assets, both your dick and your ass, into scene...

***

Hey, I’m Elias, a 22yo bartender with a French and Linguistics degree at University, though sometimes I wish I could trade smarts for sports and strength. I don’t think I’m unattractive, I never have much problem getting attention from guys at the club, but I feel like guys just look at me like I’m another pale twink with brown hair and hazel eyes. I don’t want to be an object, I like being a man: I just want to be more manly. Muscles and beard, I want to look powerful and have other guys be jealous of me.

It's a usual Friday evening for you, and you are tending bar in the towns gay club as usual. It's not too bad - your twinkish body usually gets you some tips, and today is no different. There are times, however, that you wish you were just a bit more... manly. Of course, everyone always wants to be what they are not. But seeing those sexy guys every day, made of beef and manliness makes you almost hate your thin and slender form. That is, after all, what made you write that letter some weeks ago, even though you already forgot about it by now.

All of a sudden, one of the club's visitors climbs onto the stage. Even though it's empty right now, people aren't supposed to go up there, for insurance reasons. Apparently, nobody else has noticed, so you decide to handle the situation yourself. You tell your colleague on the bar that you will be right back and then make your way to the stage.

The guy who has climbed up there seems to be some kind of office worker and is apparently completely focused on dancing. You just want to tell him to come down from the stage when he begins to unbutton his shirt in the rhythm of the music. Having forgotten what you meant to do for a moment, you stare, mesmerized at the guy on stage slowly getting out of his shirt. He looks quite attractive and moves his body like a pro. The crowd notices the show, and slowly, the whole scene becomes the focus of attention. The office guy has now spun his shirt around and thrown it into the crowd, which has now grown considerably. You have to admit, the whole show and the guy look kind of sexy. Not your usual type, he has more of a lean and athletic body that is revealed more and more with every move he takes. Still, he is good.

Next to you, directly in front of the stage, one of the red faux leather chairs has just become free, as the guy who sat in it went to get some drinks. The crowd is moving constantly and, without really thinking, you take a seat there. The office worker is still dancing, his sweaty body almost glowing, and his bulge looks impressively large, even in the low lighting of the club. You can feel yourself getting hard, and through your suit pants, you feel yourself up discreetly.

Actually.

Fuck discreetly. You rub your crotch through your pants while your eyes are still glued to the stripper on stage. Your mind is slowly going blank. You don't notice how the other bar patrons slowly stop moving to the music and gather around the stage instead, watching the office guy perform. You are completely entranced, unable to think, just staring at the spectacle in front of you, while your cock strains against the fabric of your pants.

Actually, your cock is not the only thing straining against your clothes. It is as if all your body is expanding, in every direction, all at once: Your shoulders, your arms, and your legs widen and grow thicker, while your ass and muscles swell. At the same time, the first hints of stubble and beard hairs break through your skin.

Your suit feels constricting, and you consider getting up to go to the bathroom to get out of them. But...

Actually.

Fuck modesty. With more raw strength than elegance, you remove your clothing while you still can. Your body continues to grow stronger and stronger and when your chest is bared, your nipples have hardened to the point where they seem like small pebbles.

It feels so fucking good to just get out of the clothes that are becoming more and more uncomfortable with every passing second. You watch with a superior smile as hair also grows on your chest and abs, as well as on your legs and arms, making your whole torso look furry.

When your pants are gone, your underwear is the only piece of clothing left on you.

And fuck, that's getting really tight!

But, as you watch, it is morphing into a different material. What was once a pair of cotton boxer briefs quickly becomes a pair of black shiny leather underwear, pronouncing the growing bulge of your hard cock. The bulge is, of course, not only growing because you're rock-hard: Also, inside the alien pair of leather underwear, your member is growing bigger and bigger with each throb, slowly becoming a true monster cock.

Other parts of you don't seem to be stopping growing larger as well: Your biceps are more than impressive right now, your forearms look like you can crush a watermelon with them and your thighs are as thick as tree trunks.

As the music keeps playing, the hair on your body grows denser and longer. You now have a manly full beard, and, as you cross your strong arms behind your head, a thick bush of hair emerges from each of your armpits, flooding the direct vicinity with your manly stench.

You grin as you look up to the stripper, who is just about to shed his pair of blue underwear and lick your lips. After the show, you're gonna take him home and breed him!

#male transformation #muscle transformation #dumbing down #transformationletter

[buckttommy]

umm. pause. guys. guys. gay tommy has been canon this entire time. what the fuck. like. oh my god. no. like. okay. okay. so. 2x9 (hen begins), sal [deluca] is talking about his girlfriend dragging him to see twilight. he makes a homophobic joke about tommy being team jacob and tommy's like "i don't even know what that means." chimney says "he's insinuating that you're gay" and tommy blows deluca a kiss. fine. whatever. but THEN you skip to 2x12 (chimney begins), and—i stg it's a blink and you miss it moment—tommy and gerrard (racist captain) are having this conversation in the background

tommy: what about that burger place? gerrard: tommy i hate that place. hey wasn't your girlfriend supposed to come and cook us dinner? tommy: uhh. next tuesday. gerrard: promise? tommy: uhh. uh. yes. yeah. i will promise.

and it's like. number one, this sounds like a conversation they've had before. something to the tune of "hey, how come you never bring your girlfriend around" which i can't help but think was intentional considering the members of the old 118 were entirely familiar with deluca's girlfriend gina. but number two, no straight man who has a girlfriend sounds that unsure that they have a fucking girlfriend. it was very much giving "ah yes. this human lady that i love that most definitely exists. absolutely. also i like breasts." and it's just like. ok. what the fuck. like. i don't know if this was the plan all along. i don't think it was. i still maintain buck/eddie were supposed to go canon after the shooting and the powers that be got in the way. but. but. the idea that this canon queer character has been hiding in plain sight (subtext) is just. wild to me. like. i've always headcanoned tommy as gay, mostly because every character he plays seems fruity as hell. but bro. i don't think it's a headcanon anymore. and i don't think it ever has been. what the fuck.

there's also the idea that. like. so i've been watching the begins episodes again trying to figure out what, exactly, tommy's crime against the members of the 118 has been. like. he worked in a -phobic/-cist environment. he was definitely complicit in making hen/chimney feel like outsiders in their workplace yes yes all these things are true. but as far as i can tell, tommy has rarely ever actively been anything except spineless. deluca makes a homophobic joke? tommy laughs. gerrard makes a bunch of sexist and racist comments? tommy looks, but doesn't say anything to encourage (or discourage him). hen gives her monologue? he looks chagrined.

and his complicity would be absolutely shitty and inexcusable if he was just a cishet white man. no questions asked. but if — if — you view his behavior through the lens of the fact that tommy is queer himself? that tommy is, and always has been, a member of a marginalized community who felt it was easier and safer to assimilate than it was to be openly queer and have a target on his back? his behavior becomes a whole hell of a lot more understandable. yes, it's still shitty, but. there's a purpose behind it. and this idea is supported by the fact that, when gerrard leaves (flashing forward to bobby begins again), even before bobby gets there (because we always credit bobby with making the 118 the family it is today), like. the atmosphere is completely different. tommy and hen? are friendly with each other. chimney and tommy? also friendly with each other. which we also know because in 2x14 broken, he calls him up for help. which lends credibility to the idea that the problems tommy had (or thought he had) with henchim were not about them as people but more about whatever manufactured conservative boys club bullshit gerrard fostered.

and it's just like. motherfucker. bitch. what the hell. like. first of all, leave it to 9-1-1 to tell a story like this in the most subtle way possible. like if that was indeed the intended implication, i'm throwing my tv off a bridge immediately. but also. second of all. what is wrong with this show. they're crazy. i want to eat it like a loaf of bread. just shovel it in my mouth because the idea that tommy has been queer all along, that he wasn't brought back just to be a stopgap on buck's queer journey to eddie, but that he's been haunting the edges of the narrative like a gay ghost is sooo like. ohhh. okay. [throws up]. like????? okay. anyway. i'm going to be thinking about this the rest of the day.

#tommy kinard #head in hands.....................HEAD IN HANDS #tv: 911 #jack.txt #There's also something to be said about the idea of FOX main characterizing Buck/Oliver #around the same time they put a stop to Buddie #Something about like. Conventionally attractive (dark hair / light eyes) white men are not allowed to be loudly quee #and like. I KNEW there was something there #I knew it. And I love Michael and David and Karen and Hen don't get me wrong #those are my emotional support gays #but I was just like ''hm. kind of funny how every queer character connected to the mains is a person of color right?'' #and I never vocalized this thought to ANYONE but I always kept it in the back of my mind #even the men michael would be seen with *before* David — always black #and there's nothing wrong with it it's fine #but the idea becomes a LOT more insidious when I consider FOX's politics—when i consider that both racism and homophobia are inherent to #their brand. and then it's just like ''ohh. you guys made the black people dirty queers because white is right. okay got it'' #anyways. let me stop talking. lol

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Recently I've been regretting being out. I wish I could take it back. I used to freely talk about my gf and my sexuality, but now I keep it to myself and pray that the people I've told will forget I'm gay. I've never experienced this. I've never been at a point in my life where I've felt comfortable telling someone I'm gay and then wishing I never had. It's usually a one and done deal.

There's this guy at work. I like him. We get along very well. I used to look forward to working with him because I thought he was a lovely man. Suddenly he drops the f slur, and I'm extremely taken aback. Days prior to him dropping the slur, he makes a subtly homophobic comment. I've told him I'm gay. I've told him I have a gf. Now I sorely regret it.

This past Saturday, I'm working with someone I don't usually work with. We get on the topic of people saying slurs. I bring up the fact that this guy says the f slur. The person I'm talking to tries to defend him. He says "I feel like guys don't mean that in a homophobic way. It's more like an insult rather than a slur". I try to argue with him but he doesn't let up. I once again feel very disheartened.

Right now, I'm sitting in my car after a personal training session with a trainer that I get along well with. I've told him I'm gay. Today he tells me he thinks being gay is a choice. He tells me it's the tap water turning people gay. Yea, I know that sounds hilarious, and yes, I did laugh, but he was being serious. Maybe if the incidents I described above weren't so close to this one, I'd feel less strongly about it. Maybe not.

I get on the internet and see people saying that males can be lesbians and females can be gay men. I see women claiming to be lesbians who earnestly say they like dick and that they like fucking men ("cis" men). I see people saying that gay dudes and lesbians fuck and they're both still gay. It seems like nobody realizes that this is extremely homophobic, disrespectful, and nonsensical.

There's no escape. I've been telling people I'm gay since I was thirteen. But maybe I knew better at twelve.

#This is a pessimistic rant #But I'm not a pessimist #I do think there's good in the world #And I'm ultimately a positive person #But lemme have this moment to rant #Don't take it to heart

[actualmermaid]

Since I've spent the last month-plus neck-deep in queer Christian history research, I ended up with some thoughts™️ about "classical" Western homoeroticism vs. Christian homophobia.

Liberal Christian apologetics sometimes do a very annoying thing when asked to explain the homophobia in the New Testament epistles. Because it's real, it's there, and homophobic Christians take it as the Unquestionable Word of God. So obviously we have to do something about it.

The liberal explanation tends to go something like this: "the epistle writer is talking about the abusive and exploitative homosexual acts that were common in ancient Rome, not the loving/egalitarian/mutually respectful relationships that gay people are able to have today." And it's so frustrating because there is SOME truth in this. We and Paul both know that the Greeks and Romans were notorious pederasts and slave-abusers. And that's bad! It's super bad. I do agree that Paul/the epistle writer is condemning abusive behavior using language and frameworks that would have been available to him at the time. Deciphering the social context of the epistles can get messy.

But the annoying thing is this: it is not affirming to suggest that all gay people in the past were either abusers or their victims, and "we're more enlightened now" is a lie. We are not smarter than the Greeks. We are not more civilized than the Romans. We are not more pious than the medievals. (Hello there, Roman Catholic sex abuse scandals.) And there have always been gay people who have defied all odds to have loving, egalitarian, and mutually respectful relationships with each other, even if we do not know their stories or their struggles.

This is kind of the crux of John Boswell's "controversial" thesis: gay people have always existed, even if they had to conceal themselves and their relationships behind various protective structures. (I actually haven't read any of his books yet, so I'm not going to engage too deeply with the nuances of his arguments.) When people try to dismiss him, I suspect it's because they don't notice or appreciate what he probably noticed. I have a hunch that Boswell's arguments are not super intersectional and focus mostly on the privileged sphere of people who left written records in the Middle Ages, but hey, serious LGBTQ Christian history research has to start somewhere. I'll withhold judgment for now. But I do think he was totally right about one thing: Saints Sergius and Bacchus. They were totally a gay couple until somehow proven otherwise, IMO. The reason I think he was right is because he was able to notice the "classical" aesthetics of homoeroticism in their legend even though it might not obvious to people who don't know what they're looking for. Straight people reading the legend are like "there's nothing gay about this" and gay people are like "wow, this story is pretty gay."

If you've ever looked into Western gay history, you've seen two words: erastes and eromenos. This means "lover" and "beloved," the two sides of a classical Greek pederastic relationship. The Greeks did actually recognize an age of consent and had ideals of proper behavior that regulated these relationships, but these were still usually relationships between a teenage boy and an older man, which isn't great. They also had all kinds of weird ideas about the politics of penetration and so forth. The Greeks and Romans didn't really think that two people could really be equal to each other--in any relationship, there was always one who was sort of subordinate to the other. So it was "weird" for two social equals to be in a gay relationship, as opposed to one with one partner who was already "established" and was "showing the ropes" to a younger guy who needed some wholesome manly instruction. We may not be better, smarter, or more enlightened than people in the past, but we do have the ability to critique them and try to identify the harmful behaviors that we've inherited from them, so we can do better. We've come a long way since the days of erastes/eromenos relationships, but one thing has stuck around: the classical aesthetics of a "manly guy" and an "idealized youth" in love with each other.

Apropos of nothing, here's a photo of John Boswell and his longtime partner Jerry Hart. They were within a year of being the same age.

So anyway, this brings us back to the legend of Sergius and Bacchus. The version that Boswell translated takes great pains to show how Sergius and Bacchus were equals in every way. They're both Roman officers, they're about the same age, they sing in unison, and are united in the egalitarian love of Christ. However, they are still just a little bit unequal. Sergius is of a slightly higher rank than Bacchus.

To be clear, this whole legend is a literary creation, and it's got a bunch of Byzantine propaganda in it. It's not history, it's mythology. Whoever wrote it down would have been familiar with erastes/eromenos dynamics, because these were everywhere in classical antiquity. So they made sure to specify all the ways in which Sergius and Bacchus were equals, but took a firm position in ye olde fandom top/bottom discourse.

Throughout the legend, Sergius acts, and Bacchus is acted upon. Bacchus is killed first, and Sergius is temporarily demoralized. Bacchus then appears to Sergius in a vision encouraging him to stay strong. Sergius is so steadfast that they can't torture him enough to make him recant his faith, and he is beheaded. Even straight couples are not usually said to have been reunited in heaven, but Sergius and Bacchus are.

So, knowing that Sergius is the erastes and Bacchus is the eromenos in this story, we can start to notice it in iconography too. It's not always consistent, but sometimes icons will have Sergius' cloak curling protectively over Bacchus' head, or one of them taking a slightly more "authoritative" posture, etc.

Above all, they are always depicted as true equals--sometimes they almost look like twins.

Increasingly, modern icons are being made that explicitly communicate the idea that they were a gay couple. The one on the left was created by Robert Lentz, a Franciscan friar, for Chicago Pride in 1994. The one on the right makes the classical homoerotic aesthetic super explicit, and is by far the most sexually-suggestive "traditional-style" icon I have ever seen lol. Shoutout to this artist.

So to sum up: John Boswell knew what the fuck he was talking about. Also, none of this excuses the homophobia in the Christian scriptures or the homophobia that Christians continue to perpetuate. However, knowing what to look for in art and writing helps us understand that gay people were not magically granted the ability to have egalitarian relationships in the modern world, and THAT leads us away from problematic apologetics.

#christianity #saints #queer #gay #pride #history

[rthko]

I recently went to a screening of United in Anger: A History of ACT UP where Sarah Schulman was there for a Q and A. Schulman co-produced the documentary and wrote Let The Record Show, a sweeping non-chronological history of ACT UP. There's a lot to discuss about the documentary itself, but one aspect I recommend is its coverage of the overlooked history of women with AIDS, and how ACT UP pushed the CDC to change its definition of AIDS so more women could be diagnosed and treated. There's only one clip of herself in the documentary, where she, an ACT UP member herself, claims its "stop the church" demonstration was too divisive. The documentary immediately cuts to others praising the demonstration, like Larry Kramer saying scaring people was the point. Asked about it in the Q and A, she smiled and said "I was wrong and I lived."

There are a few other highlights from the Q and A I want to point out, especially since she has since written about Palestine and ACT UP is advocating for Palestine today. One audience member asked what activists should do about burnout, or when they're losing momentum. Schulman responded that movements need victories, and they need to set actionable goals to keep people motivated. One example she gave is to pressure specific organizations or institutions into participating in BDS. She said later that gay and lesbian movements were formed by people who were already active in communist movements but kicked out. Schulman has written about how LGBT activism has lost much of its ambition and imagination, and calls on queer activists to not be single-issue. She says that anywhere she goes in left activism, queer people are involved.

I wish I had taken better notes, but as I recently shared someone point out, United in Anger is available on the US library streaming site Kanopy. I have not yet read Let The Record Show, but I encourage anyone who has to share their thoughts in comments or reblogs. Schulman and the documentary's director Jim Hubbard also run the ACT UP Oral History Project, an archive of 187 interviews of ACT UP NY members. These are just interviews of people who survived to 2001, but her writing covers her interactions and friendships with others who didn't survive as well. I'm haunted by the part of Gentrification of the Mind where she recalls what Vito Russo's answering machine said after he died: "This is Vito. I'm sorry I'm not here."

To be honest, I was very frustrated to hear that so many people on this site have not heard of ACT UP. But I think it would be a disservice to the organization's history and ongoing work if I let this anger stew without doing anything about it. I do see that a lot of people here care and are eager to learn more. Tumblr has led me to great resources on the history of AIDS, and Palestine for that matter, because of people who care. I really appreciate that.