#I'm terrified it sucks

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

[s1llycilantro]

why does it feel like the only people who actually understand Kai's personality end up being autistic people. Saw someone say he's cold and overly serious. I'm sorry?? are we talking about the same character?? The guy who forced Joe to call him Mr. Kebab?? The same dude whohad major beef with Alice over a fucking necklace??? Who chased Reko to tell her ghost stories?? Fuck in the manga he's such a little dweeb constantly.

Just because he's monotone and, I will die on this hill, has MANY autistic traits and or symptoms it doesn't mean he's this cool calm collected dude with his life together. This sounds like utter gibberish but all I wanted to do today was happily scroll through the Kai Satou tag and was slapped in the face with mischaracterization every now and again. To quote Nao he is simply silly and cute. And heavily burdened by the sins of his family as well as his own. But that's another story

#Kai Satou #your turn to shine #yttd #joe tazuna #nao egokoro #sara chidouin #reko yabusame #alice yabusame #yttd kai #I'm so normal about him (lie) #I have so many opinions and thoughts on his character #why do so many ppl fail to understand him he's like the guy ever #also yes i did see someone say kai had his life put together and just stared at it for a bit because HOW #motherfucker vehemently lived by serving other people he has no sense of self worth/value #and is terrified of letting himself get close to good people out of fear that he'll hurt them #and that SUCKS because that's EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED ☹️ #i could go more in depth but i'm thinking so many thoughts abt the satou family #theyre so tragic

[awkward-teabag]

After every (American) election, there's always a bunch of posts going around exposing psyops or pointing out how there were posts on this site designed to get people to not vote blue.

And in the lead up to every (American) election, there's a bunch of posts being reblogged that are clearly either psyops or manipulative posts that tell people it's perfectly okay for them not to vote at all.

Like, there's history going back years on this hellsite where the alt-right intentionally tried to undermine or indoctrinate people so they get/stay in power. History a lot of y'all know of or were even there for and saw go down in real time.

But sure, be uncritical of what you reblog, don't bother looking at the source website, or just put things out there without caveats or nuance.

#i know media literacy is trash these days #and that there's intentional misinformation/no information about elections #but i've seen people who have reblogged things about psyops in the past who both reblog and support current ones #but unlike other social media sites you can reblog a post but then stick nuance in the tags #you can be critical of something while also gritting your teeth and supporting it because the alternative is worse #you can (and should) also be critical of the systems that lead to that in the first place #throwing your hands up and saying there's no point and you aren't going to bother #and it's fine if others do the same #is just giving up and saying it's too hard for you and you don't care about the harm that comes to others #the canadian system is different (though first past the post tries to make it the same) #but you can bet i'd vote for trudeau even though fuck him and his racist ass #if the alternative was pp because while trudeau sucks for many reasons #pp is fucking terrifying to me as a disabled queer person #and i'm lucky in that i'm white and canadian and can pass as cishet so i'd be spared the worst of it #others would not be so lucky #especially when his fans are eager to hate crime people and only hold themselves back because they would face social consequences #also learn what is private criticism you keep to yourself or talk to friends about #and what is okay to talk about publicly #some things you don't fucking say when it will be taken as permission for antipathy or approval by fascists

[t00thpasteface]

REACHED OUT TO THE HOUSING DIRECTOR AT MY COLLEGE LIKE "HEY DO YALL HAVE RESOURCES FOR ME AS AN OUT QUEER BECAUSE I'M NERVOUS ABOUT LIVING IN A DORM" AND THEY WERE SO HELPFUL AND COPIED SOMEONE IN ANOTHER DEPARTMENT AND SAID "I'M SO EXCITED YOU ASKED! WE HAVE A COMMUNITY YOU MIGHT ENJOY!" GODDAMMIT MAYBE THERE REALLY IS HOPE. MAYBE LOVE CAN WIN... o(TヘTo)

#finished my dorm app and i am no joke terrified of getting ostracized for being such a blatant butch #i've had people treat me like a leper for being a lesbian before and it's not something i'm itching to relive. it sucks!!! #shebbz shoutz #pride 2023 #HAPPY PRIDE MONTH I'M FEELING IT NOW MR KRABS

[crabussy]

god I forgot how much staring at a screen for all my waking hours fucks me up and makes me miserable

#my eyes hurt so bad and my brain can barely form words #and I'm terrified to face my teacher tomorrow after she. did what she did two weeks ago #I'm safe please don't worry but #oh boy #there's a reason I have PRE BOOKED THERAPY for tomorrow after school #that's how fucking scared I am #and #the workload #is literally impossible to manage or complete as a disabled autistic person #not a hyperbole I have tried I have put every bit of energy I possibly have #including energy for. getting ready for bed or talking to my loved ones or masking or just going on a WALK #into homework. and it's still an impossible amount of work that I am Never able to complete by the deadline #hate being this way #hate teacherfs who traumatise me for being this way #has happened my whole fucking life and I STILL feel like a little kid every time #vent tw #listen to my gibberish boy #vent #this sucks. sorry you had to read this

[rackartyg]

i hate how fandom has moved to discord. hate it viscerally. it's made it so difficult to find community because it's all walled gardens, and sure, the walled gardens are more pleasant than the old wild west of everything being in the tags on tumblr! but god it's so difficult to get in one! there's no real way to shop around.

#my mental illness makes it even worse #i can't handle huge servers i just can't they terrify me #i need places with a handful of active users where i can recognise and get to know each one. otherwise i'm too afraid to ever say anything #and those ones you'd never even know existed! you gotta impress the admin and randomly get dm'd an invite #and hot take but lurking in a discord server is just pointless #discord conversations suck to backread #she speaks

[itskindnessinfinite]

A little something I wrote because there’s no way I believe that Eddie doesn’t remember Buck during the shooting. Takes place during some nebulous time post 6x12. buddie. 1468 words.

It’s another evening in Eddie’s house. They’re both standing in Eddie's kitchen with a beer each. It’s been quiet for several minutes and usually Buck wouldn’t mind being together in silence with Eddie. Most times he would even welcome it. But there’s a weird atmosphere surrounding them that almost makes Buck’s skin itch.

Before he can think about it too much, Buck quickly takes the final gulp of beer as he shoots Eddie a quick glance above the rim. Eddie’s looking down on the ground, playing slowly with the bottle in his hands. There’s a small frown between his eyebrows. If Buck didn’t know him better he’d say that Eddie looks nervous.

“You okay?” Buck lowers the bottle and lets it rest against his thigh.

“Huh?” Eddie’s eyes are bigger than normal when he finally looks at Buck, surprised. A second later he huffs what could only be described as an almost laugh before he finishes his own beer and returns his gaze to a spot somewhere next to the table legs. Buck’s eyes don't leave Eddie. He feels a small feeling of… something start to unfurl in his gut. He doesn’t really know what to make of it but soon his mouth is dry and he really wishes he hadn’t finished his beer yet.

“You can talk to me,” Buck tries to encourage him but Eddie just nods, still staring down at the floor. His hands are slowly clenching and unclenching around the bottle.

Suddenly Buck is hit with the thought that Eddie still hasn’t touched him since the lightning strike. Sure, maybe a small touch of hands when Eddie handed him a beer but nothing else. No hug or reassuring hand on his shoulder. No small bump against his arm to check in on him between calls. Why did that change between them and how did Buck not realize it until now? A nasty stone starts to grow in his chest at the thought.

“Eddie,” Buck turns his body slightly more towards Eddie. He can feel a frown between his eyebrows. Eddie finally sighs as he turns his gaze to Buck. For a moment it seems like he’s about to say something but he bites his lip. Buck’s pretty sure he must have a will of steel to not let his gaze wander down from Eddie’s eyes.

“How’s the dating going?” Eddie finally asks. That’s not where he thought this conversation was going.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Buck answers. The bewilderment must be all over his face because he can see a small twitch of amusement on Eddie’s lips as he looks at Buck. But that’s the only reaction he gets. Eddie continues to look at him. He’s clearly still expecting an answer.

“It’s… not really going anywhere,” Buck relents at last, looking away for a moment. This would be a perfect moment for him to say that the one he wants is right in front of him. But he can’t. He won’t risk his friendship with Eddie like that. 

Eddie hums. There’s a thoughtful glint to his eyes this time and Buck really wishes he could understand what he’s thinking about. Buck is usually the one who can see beyond the shield that Eddie puts up but this time the shield is thicker than he’s used to and it’s almost driving him crazy.

“I lied,” Eddie admits finally and then amends, “well maybe not lied, but I didn’t tell you the whole truth.”

“About what?” Buck cocks his head to the right, trying to keep up with where the conversation is going.

“The shooting,” Eddie looks at him and Buck feels his throat close up when he thinks back to that day as he shifts slightly where he’s standing. He waits for Eddie to continue.

“I remember,” Eddie starts. His gaze seems to have landed somewhere just above Buck’s shoulder but the slight glaze to his eyes tells Buck that he’s not entirely present. 

“I remember you. I remember you being the last thing I saw before everything went dark. I remember being at peace knowing that your face would be the last thing I would see before I died,” Eddie stops there for a second and Buck’s not entirely sure what he’s listening to but before he has enough time to dwell on it Eddie continues, “but I also remember that my biggest regret was not being able to tell you how I truly feel... about you.” 

Buck can feel his eyes grow big as saucers and he almost drops the bottle in his hand because he’s pretty sure his ears must be malfunctioning. There’s no way he just heard Eddie say what he thought he did.

“What?” Buck shakes his head to try to make sense of the scrambled thoughts in his head. When he once again focuses on Eddie there’s a sad kind of acceptance in his eyes.

“Yeah, I don’t expect you to feel the same,” Eddie looks away but Buck has barely even begun to process Eddie’s previous confession. A smile starts to tug at the edges of his lips but he quickly suppresses it. Eddie might not be telling him what he has wanted to hear for... he doesn’t even know how long.

“What?” seems to be the only coherent way for Buck to express himself.

“Sorry, I just–,”

“Eddie, stop,” Buck finally gets out as he puts the bottle on the counter behind him to try to give himself some time to gather his jumbled thoughts. Eddie freezes and the resigned slump to his frame makes Buck want to wrap his arms around him and never let go.

“What do you mean?” there’s an almost frantic way to his voice as he stares at Eddie. Eddie is quiet for a few seconds, just staring at Buck, but then a small spark of hope lights up in his eyes.

“I’m in love with you,” Eddie breathes out and this time Buck doesn’t bother hiding the smile on his face, not that he could if he wanted to. He tries to say something, to reciprocate, but the only thing he’s able to do is nod. 

“You–?” Eddie barely gets the word out before he stops and then a smile is adorning his lips. A smile that makes Buck weak at the knees.

Before he knows it Eddie takes two big steps and then there’s just a few inches between their bodies. The counter digs into his hips and the beer bottle that used to be in Eddie’s hand is nowhere to be seen but Buck doesn’t care about that right now. The only thing he cares about is Eddie. The look in Eddie’s eyes. As if he’s trying to determine if Buck’s really implying what he wants Buck to imply.

“Can I…?” Eddie whispers as he slowly, reverently, raises his hands and lets them hover just an inch over Buck’s face. So close to touching but not quite there. Yet. Buck can only nod, his dry throat making it impossible to speak. The moment Eddie’s hands cups his face Buck leans into his touch and closes his eyes. He lets himself feel Eddie. Feels that despite him having just been holding a cold beer bottle, Eddie’s hands are warm and soft. There’s a small tremor that goes through Eddie’s hands and straight into Buck’s soul.

Eddie takes a small step closer, their noses now barely touching as they breathe each other’s air. A second later they’re kissing. He doesn’t know who initiated it, just that it happened and then Buck finds that his own hands are now wrapped around Eddie’s waist lazily.

The first kiss is slow, almost hesitant. Buck feels Eddie’s thumb caressing his cheek. Then Eddie pushes him even closer into the counter and a leg is all of a sudden between his thighs. Buck’s hands travel upward before they stop and carefully dig into Eddie’s shoulder blades. Buck opens his mouth and immediately feels Eddie’s tongue dart inside. He almost groans at the feeling.

He doesn’t know how long it lasts but eventually they have to lean back. Though Buck still keeps his forehead pressed against Eddie’s. Now that they’re touching each other again, Buck never wants to stop.

“I’m in love with you too,” Buck whispers and Eddie lets out a breathless laugh before he gives Buck a soft smile. A smile that reaches his eyes and lights up his entire face. Buck never wants to live in a world without that smile.

Eddie then tugs him into a hug and Buck quickly wraps his arms around Eddie’s back as he buries his face in Eddie’s neck. Buck takes a deep breath before he tightens his hold on Eddie. Eddie, who is his safe space. His home. And now he always will be.

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #el writes #this scenario refused to leave my brain so i had to write it #writing is not something i do that often so i'm sorry if this sucks #i'm absolutely terrified to post this so please be nice 😅 #i'm sure someone else has already written this and written it better but idk i still wanna share this #also this is my first 911 fic so i'm sorry if it ooc #fic recs #911 abc

[honeysuckle-venom]

Got my MRI results back, it's not terrible I guess but it's also...not great. I'm pretty unhappy actually. I was really, really hoping for more shrinking. But while the giant one in the left lobe has shrunk a little bit more, the biggest one in the right lobe has grown! It's now 8.4 cm x 6.7 x 7.1 cm, when before it was only 7.6 x 6.1 x 6.4. I'm really devastated that one has grown, I don't exactly know what that means for me but it's not good! And I remembered that I have a LOT of tumors, like, a lot, because when I looked at the scans last year honestly my liver looked like it was more tumor than liver. But I had kind of convinced myself that maybe I was exaggerating that in my head and actually only had like 6 or 8? But the report says "The lesions are too numerous to count [much greater than 10]." So it was how I remembered it, lots and lots of large tumors everywhere. Bc technically anything greater than 5cm is fairly high risk/often operated on, and I have several that are bigger than 5cm. But they can't operate because there are too many and so it's pointless/they can't remove enough of the liver safely. And now some are growing and even if some are shrinking they aren't shrinking much. The overall impression was that this scan was "similar to prior." Which is better than significantly worse but I was really really hoping for better news. I'll have to set up an appointment with a hepatologist to really discuss the results but...at first glance this kind of sucks.

#text post #my post #at least my unrelated blood work looked good. my cholesterol and vitamins and stuff is better #but yeah. this sucks. #i can't believe one of the big ones grew. idk what that means but i'm a bit freaked out about it #and it just. sucks that there are so so so many #the images really do look like my liver is at least 75% tumor when you see them it's wild :( #and by wild i mean kind of terrifying #medical cw #medical tw #hepatic adenoma #hepatocellular adenoma

[veersnz]

Cw flu, c*vid

Honestly yeah it's probably the flu or that, a cold doesn't make you miserable with a high fever for 24 hours... Or maybe it's just my chronic illnesses making me feel even worse and it's just a cold idk at this point. But I'm honestly mad. And scared. I'm scared all those diseases I'm catching all the time are making my body even weaker than it already is. I'm scared there's some damage being done right now. The fact that every illness I catch goes directly into my lungs and make me feel like I can't breathe isn't a really good sign... I'm scared honestly... No I'm terrified... I wear a mask, I sanitize everything and yet I still end up getting sick not even one week after recovering from my last illness... I'm terrified of catching long covid or something that'll disable me even more. I'm already running on empty I can't afford it. I'm scared... I wish people could understand that and wear masks too...

#sorry about that #I'm just terrified #2024 already sucks #not snz

[iero]

Real talk: How do I let the fear of going into complete and total medical debt not stop me from getting the help I actually need?

#personal #Love everyone who is like 'Don't pay it when you get your bill!' and then I get sent to collections and fuck up my credit score etc. etc. #This is also with health insurance by the way but mine uh... sucks. #And this is me being serious by the way. I'm terrified I'm gonna go flat broke once I finally make the call to see a dentist.

[troublcmakcrs]

//we're getting places "you're not getting anywh-" WE'RE GETTING PLACES!!!!!!

#vis :: ( craig ) #ver :: college ( craig ) #mun art #//i've been struggling with him for so long #//and it's bc i wrote myself into a corner on one thread. to say that craig basically hasn't changed hairstyles in like 10 years #//and then eli was like ehhh give him some hair gel #//which i was terrified if doing bc... again... my former hc that said craig did NOTHING with his hair #//BUT I'M SO GLAD I DID IT... IT WAS ONLY ONE THREAD... IT CAN AND SHOULD BE RETCONNED #//the first one was heavily referenced off a picture of jonathan togo #//he's not a perfect 1-to-1 for craig but i like his head shape and slightly droopy eyes #//he's a lil dweeby lookin but still cute 💕 #//and the other two were my attempts at loosening him up a bit #//trying to push him towards my cartoonier style so he better matches with tweek #//it is so easy to go BALLS TO THE WALLS with exaggerating tweek's features #//one of my favorite tweek drawings is the final girl comic where their eyes take up like 75% of their face lmfao #//craig is DECEPTIVELY hard to draw bc he is by all accounts Just Some Fucking Guy #//i'm so annoyed bc i cannot draw his hair at the angle that best accentuates his scars #//but whatever we'll suffer thru it every time; labor of love 💖 #//accepting that i'm gonna have to suck at drawing craig until i start being really good at drawing craig JDKAJSKAJ #//craig with half his face torn up: no dude i'm good; i've never suffered anything in my life #//i gotta draw him and tweek together; that would help with getting them stylistically consistent #//i also have got to draw craig looking more pissed off wtf is he so happy for? >:(

[flowercrowngods]

.

#it's so sad and lonely that most of fandom happens on discord these days because that just leaves me on the sidelines like ✌️ #and like I'm trying to get over it and myself and the ✨trauma✨ but it's just. there's something so lonely about trying to be part of #something and then just fizzling out just like that. especially when there's so many established dynamics and groups and friendships #this is pathetic but it is what it is yknow #but I guess I'm also terrified that I'll come out of this writer's block without my love for ST and steddie just bc there was no way to #anchor it. and also no way to ✨be a part of it✨ meanwhile. I know my worth is not defined by the things I write but. but it kinda is #because what else is there? nothing. #why can't i be a person why can't I be known why can't I let that happen why can't I let people in why does the thought of asking if #I can join a server or something elicit such a strong trauma reaction (I know the answer to that one) why do I still wanna do it #why can't I why am I like this and when does it stop #delete this #but damn fandom loneliness just sucks and I know I'm not alone with this

[moregraceful]

started listening to batting around and i can't tell if the hosts are legitimately worth being irritated by or if it's annoying online gay person perception of self through the other, BUT playing "andrew in drag" by the magnetic fields as a comedic beat was a stroke of genius and yeeted me all the way back to high school when my friends and i were exchanging literal mixtapes with "absolutely cuckoo" because all of our cars were shitheaps from our boomer parents with no cd decks and there's only no such thing as top 40 pop hits when you're a terminally indie livejournal user. the way we were exchanging mixtapes in the year 2007 because we were driving cars from the early 90s/late 80s....like do the tiktok teens who wish they were teens in the aughts understand what it was truly like. it was not elegant.

#i still have three mixtapes from Back Then from this guy in norway that i had a huge crush on. but i'm terrified to listen to them #bc i'm not sure what would happen if i tried to play a 17yo cassette tape rn. if it would just get destroyed immediately? gotta research #high school is like...it sucked so bad but i had music? will never forgive the bhawks for taking ''chelsea dagger'' from me #every once in a while i try to listen to someone's ''indie 00s hits'' playlist on spotify and take insane psychological damage #i really was out there making my mother - a professional musician and highly trained vocalist - listen to the wombats. oh my god #speaking of the aughts did anyone else have their soul leave their body when hidden cameras said they were rereleasing the smell of our own #for its TWENTIETH ANNIVERSARY?? i almost died #anyway. batting around: are they annoying or am i just sensitive to people clowning on the a's. lowhanging fruit? get better material? wow? #🎶 a pity she does not exist / a shame he's not a fag / the only girl i'll ever love / is andrew in drag 🎶 #fresno oilers.txt

[altruistic-meme]

genuinely so upset about not being able to scream to my mom about my cardigan :')

#genuinely. not happy. #it sucks guys!!!! it sucks sooo much you don't get it!!!!!!!! #this is the first time I've ever been making something and not been able to go to my mom about it and thats so #its just #im sad #especially bc like. i could be asking her help. for an idea. for a stitch. when i mess up. and i cant. #man. #and i can't share my joy either!!!! #I'm almost done!!!!! and i can't send her photos!!!!!! i won't be able to send her finished photos either!!!!!!!!! #I'm gonna cry about this while i work on the border some more i just wanted to yell for a moment <3 #but bc its trans colored and she KNOWS the tran flag and im not out to her and she'll understand what it means and im!!!!!!! #maybe i do it anyway and thats how i come out LMAO im kidding thats terrifying. its all terrifying tho so yolo amirite #tell her im making it for my friend abram :'))) #which very possibly ALSO would be seen right thriving bc i HAVE talked to get about aftg fjsjfjsjjsjf #but that situation gives huge 'elephant in the room' by confetti vibes #anyway #back to crocheting i just got really hit with the sad #shh ac

[outlawssweetheart]

My mother is so brainwashed by the Left that when I tell her about their trash takes, she believes it's coming from Trump-supporting Republicans. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I'll literally mention some horrific antisemitism I read or heard, and she's like "Trump supporters." NO, unfortunately, they're NOT Trump supporters or even just Right-wings! It ain't that easy anymore because we're living in the fucking Twilight Zone!!

#Though she refuses to vote. #I refuse to vote because #I'm not risking jury duty (which I'm TERRIFIED of) when literally everyone sucks #and if someone doesn't suck (like Bernie Sanders) they always have 0 chance of winning. BECAUSE THEY DON'T SUCK! #anti leftist #anti right wing #fuck both parties #fuck maga #fuck democrats #fuck republicans #both parties suck #antisemitism #rant #txt

[mumblingsage]

You guys

you guys understand that when you express sympathy with "I'm sorry" and the person responds with "Don't be, it wasn't your fault," that person is cracking a joke, yes?

#worrying post going by on my dash #if you're in a circumstance where someone genuinely thinks you're taking fault for their hamster's balding or whatever...ya gotta talk #if you're terrified of being misinterpreted 'I'm sorry; that sucks' will clarify at once #it's a weak joke but it's still a joke! #people being Weird About Grief part infinity