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#I'm sure I'll be happy enough with the story if I can just love it as its own thing
ahundredtimesover · 2 days
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Hi.. I grew up in the part of the world where sex is dirty, a sin. And a woman wanting and enjoying sex is just something so bad. She is considered a who*e. Even if she is married.Sex is just a means to make babies or obviously for men to have fun. And so I grew up uncomfortable with the idea of a naked body.. even mine.. and obviously with age and harmones... I wanted physical intimacy and I hated myself for wanting it. But then I came across BTS.. eventually Wattpad, Tumblr... And you and few other writers make sex a part of the story.. so intimate.. so deep.. Really... You and few other writers changed my perspective towards sex. I don't hate myself or my partner for wanting it. I started appreciating his attraction towards me even more. It in turn made me love my body a bit more . Even though I am still insecure af.
And directly/indirectly addressing issues.. like past traumas.. childhood trauma... Addressing issues.. accountability... I mean ur stories have them all... Somehow I became a better person in terms of understanding myself.. not there yet . But opening myself for the possibilities of my triggers, my reactions. I don't know. I try to handle myself better.. bcz all of you beautiful writers helped me get in touch with my emotions n feelings. I have always avoided them. So thank you for existing.. for sharing ur beautiful beautiful amazing creations with us..
Love 💗
Hi. Before anything, I just want to say that this message means so much to me. 🥹 And I just want to thank you for being brave in sharing something so personal and vulnerable. I understand that there are many societies that treat sex this way. And I'm sorry that you had to go through that discomfort or even shame for wanting it, and if it affected your relationship. It's always a tough thing to navigate.
For me personally, I used to be scandalised by it. That changed when I got a boyfriend but I would still get insecure and feel shy to explore. One thing that writing has done for me was allow myself to explore that side of me that wanted that intimacy, that bit of roughness but gentleness; it allowed me to know what I want and how to express that to my partner. I think my stories reflect what I feel about sex. Sure, it's pleasurable and it has many purposes. But there's something so special when it's done with someone you care about, when there's trust and respect and this overflowing desire to be in each other's presence, to learn about each other and make the other feel good and happy.
I started appreciating his attraction towards me even more. It in turn made me love my body a bit more - I absolutely love this. I love that there's that acceptance now, and though you may still get insecure sometimes, you know that someone will love you regardless. I love writing banter and admiration and body worship in my scenes bc I feel like they're so natural. They make the act more genuine and real. So I'm happy that even with just these stories, it can change the way you approach it and think about yourself. 😊
Somehow I became a better person in terms of understanding myself - I love how you framed this, because learning to understand ourselves is one way to be better. I started writing as a form of release. I just got off my anti-depressants then and I needed to cope. Writing was cathartic, and I was able to put my fears and desires into words, it let me express my emotions in a way that stabilised me, and I'll always be thankful that in doing so, it helped you be in touch with your emotions, too. It's such a beautiful thing we can do for ourselves - to be kinder, to be gentler. I hope we can always strive towards that.
Thank you for dropping by, and for trusting me enough to share this. I'm glad that I, and other writers in this space just trying to get by, could do something for you in such small way. Please always be well. And I'm sending you love. 💕💕💕
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Lesson 1: "White Man Painted Black"?
Okay, I recognize that this is a strong foot to step off on! But! If you learn nothing else from this series, if you decide for whatever reason to forsake me: this is the ONE perspective I'd like you to take away!
You may have heard this quote before, when Black fans deride a character design as 'a white man with the brown bucket tool'. On its face, it means exactly what was said. But specifically, what it means is that we recognize that whomever designed the character drew the way they normally draw for a 'default' character in their mind- default usually meaning White/Eurocentric features- and they added a shade of brown within the line art to make that character now 'Black'.
Now if you're feeling defensive, wait just a moment! This discomfort is not inherently a bad thing!
I'm going to use both a 'real world' example first, to show you what your Black fans and peers are seeing, and perhaps you will also understand our discomfort!
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(if anyone was curious, my folder for this lesson is titled 'brad' lmao and you'll see why)
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(I'll have y'all know that I actually worked very hard to make Blackface Brad look mildly presentable lmao I'm sorry, I'm wheezing, I can hardly breathe looking at him 🤣)
You see how, despite knowing where this was going, and using one of the darkest shades of brown in my Skin Tones arsenal, you still know that that's Brad Pitt? That nothing about his hair texture, his lips, his nose, or really anything other than the palette change... changed? And you can still see that?
It's incredibly hurtful to be told that that's supposed to be you. You know it's not, you know why it's not, but rather than hearing how it makes you feel unseen and what they could do to be better (since they wanted to draw a Black character!), the artist lashes out at you.
And as an artist, you might have worked VERY HARD to do this! That might be a real handsome guy you drew!! But... is he really Black? Did you walk into it with the intention, that you were drawing a Black Character, or did you draw a character that just happened to be Black? It seems like a silly thing, but it matters!
Okay. I just finished laughing over Brad. Now let's get into some more perspective changes:
Now, imagine you drew a character. You want to make her Black, so you change the hair and skin colors. All right! You have your Black character... right?
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Changed ONE feature about her? (You should obviously change more than one feature, but let's just go with the simplified example.)
What if, instead of just changing her palette, we changed her:
Hair?
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There isn't nearly enough time in the world, let alone in this little scribble and blurb, for me to describe the IMPORTANCE of Black hair in Black character design. There are so many ways to do curls, afros, braids, twists, locs, SO MANY HAIRSTYLES!! Get used to searching in the 3C-4C hair textures!!!! I plan on doing an entire lesson or two on hair alone, but suffice it to say, Hair Texture is thee BIGGEST giveaway that you 'painted a white person Black'- from cartoon styles to realistic! It reveals itself in your writing as well- just based on how your character takes care of their hair, how your describe the texture, how other people might perceive it... it lets me know just how much research was done. Because we can have straight hair! But again, that's a conversation for a whole 'nother lesson so- come back later 👀?
Lips?
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I love our lips, I really do. There's a long history of shaming Black women in particular for the way our lips look. So when I see them done in all their glory, it makes me very happy. Two-toned lips vary in shade and intensity, so make sure you're using references if you want to be 'realistic', but it doesn't have to be that hard. Even a little subtle shift like this in the design/story description lets me know that a creator was thinking about me.
Nose?
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One thing I've noticed ever since I starting drawing is that... people in a lot of mangas/manhwas barely have noses! I admit, out of all the features on the face, the nose isn't the most important. I think they should be, especially when you want to emphasize that your characters look different! People have different types of noses! I especially want to gear this towards those with a goal of drawing realistic portraits and the like- there, the nose is ANOTHER dead giveaway. There are Black people with aquiline and straight noses- we aren't a monolith- but is that why you drew it? Consider why you went for that nose specifically. That's part of the intent, in all this!
Now, you might be looking at me and going "Ice... this is just character design". To which my answer is: Yes! It is! It feels so basic, and yet if you ask your Black friends/peers how often they've come across this feeling of not being properly drawn/written, from fanart to professionally produced works, it's unfortunately common despite how simple of a concept it is.
I hope that you can walk away from my first lil lesson with new eyes. Remember, it's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!
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ja3hwa · 3 months
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♡ 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐏𝐭.𝟑 | 𝐊.𝐇𝐉 ♡
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【Synopsis】 : Hongjoong offers to drive you home, not realising it was a one was ticket to having his way with you.
『Word count』 : 1.82k
-> Genre: Smut. Fluff. DBF.  
Pairing: Dilf!Hongjoong x Park!Reader  
[Warnings] : Flirting. Making out. Car sex-ish. Thigh fucking. Clit play. Dirty talk. Pet names.
Note: I'm on a roll with this Dilf story. And I know I'm leaving you all hanging again. What can i say? i love to tease you guys. Hehe ♡♡ Also Special tags for @mingis-prince @itza-meee for liking this mini story thingy so much, hehe.
Masterlist | Navigation | Part Two | Part Four | Buy Me A Ko-Fi
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The last few days of your trip were nothing but painful. You had woken up the morning of the lust-filled night, to Hongjoong already up and in the kitchen, among the other of your father's friends and some of their kids.
He didn't even look at you, pretending to go on with life like nothing had happened. But once you were inside your room, grabbing your swimmers to join Jongho and his two daughters in a game of pool volleyball, you were cornered by two firm hands gripping your bare waist and whispering, "You shouldn't get dressed so freely when anyone could walk in on you."
And by anyone he meant himself. He wouldn't let you leave that room until he was satisfied enough. Tasting your lips for around twenty minutes. But he never touched you where you needed. It was torturous. Your car was finally packed and ready. Everyone was staying around the front door of the cabin, saying their goodbyes. Your father looked sad but relieved, most likely happy he gets some peace now but sad all his friends were leaving.
"Yeah, but you should join us. Minnie's performance will be around lunchtime in the day, so you can hang around in the morning." Wooyoung was rambling on about his daughter's performance you heard about from her. She was a singer, and she had auditioned to join this label thingy. You didn't pay much attention to the conversation
"I'll show you the new bike," San interjected with a click of his tongue. His husband just rolled his eyes, mumbling something about how San doesn't shut up about that thing. Hongjoong was standing there also. Arms crossed in a tight black compression shirt. His tactical jet black pants and army boots made him look like walking sin. How does he look so hot just by standing?
“we should have a ride one night when you’re free from the kids.” Hongjoong laughed.
“Hey, that’s a great idea. But I’m never free from my kids.” San chuckled, making the rest of them laugh, having known exactly what he meant.
“I’m glad I’m over that stage of parenting.” Your father’s attention was now on you, but you hadn’t caught it. Now that you mention it, you had lost all focus on the conversation the minute Hongjoong spoke about his bike. Just the thought about him in full leather gear, on his slick motorbike. Would he let you go for a ride with him? You’ve never been on one, but you’ve heard they can be iniamite ‘cause as a passenger you’d be flushed against his back, arms tightly around his waist. Holding onto him like a lifeline. God you could feel your face heat up just at the thought. “Peach!”
“Huh?” You snapped out of your thoughts, noticing all your father's friends were looking at you. Including Hongjoong. His smirk told you he knew what you were thinking, but the others were more showing confusion or slight worry at your spaceiness. “I… uh. I’m gonna go. Sorry for spacing I’m just tired.”
You said quickly before even trying to understand what your father might want. He just rolled his eyes, giving you a tight hug. “Are you sure you’re gonna be able to drive, bub? If you're zoning out like that, maybe you should stay longer, a nap?” Your dad started to parent you, listing off things like ‘just stay one more night even, go home tomorrow’. but you needed to go home now…. you couldn’t spend another day without some type of relief.
“I’m okay Dad... I’ll just—I could drive her home.” Hongjoong’s voice lurked behind you. You swore you could feel his body heat against your ass. “I didn’t bring a car. I was planning on catching a cab. But If your girl doesn’t mind. I’ll just drive her car back inner city.”
You finally turned to look at the hunk of a man behind you, he was standing so causally, his hands in his pockets and his sunnies covering his gorgeous eyes. He looked completely relaxed as if him asking was doing you such a favour. Your father's smile was bright, giving his friend a pat on the shoulder, “Sounds perfect. But drive safely. You got precious cargo with you.” Your father laughed making the tatted male chuckle simply.
-
 The car ride was stone-cold quiet. Not even the radio playing lowly in the background could shatter the tension that had filled the car the moment Hongjoong started driving. There was still another half hour until you were home, and from the past hour of silence, you knew the time wasn’t about to change the conditions of the awkward car ride. Your heart was racing, and all you wanted to do was say a million different things to ease your brain but at the same time you just wanted Hongjoong to stop somewhere random on the side of the road so you could finally have him. God you were going to go crazy.
“I swear your thoughts are so loud.” Hongjoong chuckled making your head snap in his direction.
“M-My thoughts?”
“Yes, angel. Your thoughts. They are so loud.” He smirked not once diverting his eyes from the road. You squirmed a little bit, now having your attention completely on him and the way he was holding the wheel. Those strong hands, that you wanted more than anything to be on you.
“You have no clue what I’m thinking about.” You crossed your arms turning to look out your window but in truth, it was so you could hide the blush forming on your face.
“Oh, sure I do darling.” his words only caused a ‘uh huh’ out of you along with another huff. It went silent for a moment, making you think you might have said something wrong. But then as soon as you heard Hongjoong’s voice again, it was like all the air was punched out of your lungs. “My cock.”
A whimper escapes your wobbly lips as you feel all your self-control fly out the car window. You turned to him, seeing he was looking straight at you. It was only then you noticed you had come to a red light, giving him a moment to bask in your beautiful figure. The way your body curves and dips, your shorts hugging your thighs tightly. His Adams apple bobs while he bit his lips, he wanted nothing more than to fuck your thighs right now. “Hongjoong…” Your soft whisper slowly pulled him out of the trance he slipped into, letting his hazy eyes meet your cheeky expression and cocked brow. “The light is green.”
A loud honk from behind made him jump, snapping his view to the bright green traffic light in front of him. He pressed his foot on the gas at such power, making the car jolt. You gripped onto your seat belt questioning what on earth had gotten to him but as he turned a few more streets, down a weird pebbled road, you finally took in a large black roller door connected to a huge sky tower. You glanced at the older man with confusion, noting that this wasn’t your place. But his tight grip on the wheel made you shut up before you even let another word out. He leant out the window after coming to a stop. Punching some numbers on a keypad stand, the roller doors slowly opened, letting him drive into the dim parking lot. “Where are we?”
Hongjoong just merely grunted, searching for the nearest empty parking spot amongst rows and rows of high-end, lavish vehicles. Your small little car at nothing on the price of them… He finally pulled into a space, coming to a sharp stop. He unbuckled himself without a second breath, leaning down to grab the lever at the base of his seat so he could push it back. Raking his fingers through his hair he growls with a panted breath, “If you don’t get on my lap right now I might just lose it.”
You didn’t have to be told twice, ripping off your buckle, you climbed over the middle console very unattractively, but you didn’t care. Your lips were on his in a rushed huff, his hands cupping your face tightly. He bit your bottom lip so hard you feared for a moment he’d draw blood. Your legs sat on either side of his thighs, the buckle clip digging into your flesh but you couldn’t care less. Your hips were unsteady and your pace was nothing short of desperate. You needed him so badly. “Hongjoong p-please.”
Again with the begging. You were so good for him in every moment. How did he get so lucky? Your hands reached for his belt, undoing it enough to unzip and shimmy his pants down slightly. His cock was already straining against his boxers, precum leaking onto the silk fabric. Your soft hands pulled him out without another moment not letting him have any say. His mind was screaming at him ‘What happened to doing this by the book, doing right by her.’ He wasn’t about to let your first time be in a fucking small ass car.
“Let me fuck your thighs angel. I promise I’ll fuck my cock in your tight cunt when I have you naked on my bed.” His words caught you off guard making you yelp out a whinny ‘okay’. turning around your head rested on his shoulder as he closed your thighs tightly, letting his cock slip snuggly in between them. God, it felt like heaven. Your soft plump flesh around his cock. He wanted to bust his nut then and there. His thrusts were small and sharp. He was gonna cum sooner than he planned, but he needed you to come with him. “Fuck, play with yourself, baby. Rub your clit for me.”
Your hand disappeared into your shorts, slipping into your panties. Letting you press two fingers firmly on your bud. You rubbed in time of his thrusts, falling into a rhythm of pleasure. You weren't far behind him when his grunts and groans tickled your neck and his tongue licked along your hot flesh. His hands gripped the outer parts of your thighs, holding them tightly together as his hips began to stutter. You both were so close, so close to the edge, you just needed something to tip over and then he whimpered so desperately in your ear. “Please, angel. Your thighs are s-so good. I’m going to cum so fucking hard.”
That did it for both of you, cumming in your pants while he squirted all over your plump thighs. Everything was a mess. Your hair, your legs. Him, completely. All you could hear was his heart racing as you cuddled up to his chest for a moment. He held, you close, kissing lazily on your neck, jaw and shell of your ear, whispering soft compliments along the lines of ‘well done, such a good girl. My best girl’
All you could think about in that moment is that you never want this to end.
—♡
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Bad News First, Eddie
Part One 🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇FInal Part
"Bad news first, Eddie," Steve sighs as he leans back on his heels, cleaner in one hand and a rag in the other. "They vandalized your headstone again. Good news, I beat Wayne out here so he won't be seeing it."
It's been over a year since they'd had to leave Eddie behind. He'd been cleared of the murders. That had been the easy part, since the Upside Down had exploded out into the Rightside Up. When Vecna started killing people it had been pretty easy for people to realize Eddie was just another victim.
Or so Steve had thought.
Eleven saved them all, the people of Hawkins knew the truth, yet Steve still found graffiti on Eddie's grave.
Eddie's grave is empty, because Eddie's body hadn't been recovered. Too much had happened, no time to mount an expedition to retrieve it, and the gates were closed. Another regret Steve lives with.
Like not taking Eddie's face between his hands and looking him dead in the eye when he told them not to be heroes.
Late at night, Steve sometimes imagines he did just that. Looked him dead in the eyes and said, "there is no shame in running, in living to see another day. Don't be a hero because I need you to be okay tomorrow."
Robin says it's not good for his mental health, these what-if scenarios, but so what?
Steve isn't sure what started it but coming out here to talk to Eddie seems to help him clear his thoughts. He always starts with the bad news, Eddie's voice in the back of his mind. Bad news first, always.
The first time Wayne had caught him out here, Wayne thought he was vandalizing. Had scared Steve half to death being yanked back violently by his upper arm. It didn't take Wayne long for his eyes to process that Steve wasn't holding paint.
"You know my boy?" Wayne always spoke in the present tense about Eddie.
"Not as well as I would have liked, sir," Steve swallowed thickly. It was the start of a friendship, of sorts. Wayne seemed happy to have someone to tell stories about Eddie to, and Steve was happy to learn about Eddie.
Months pass and Steve goes every week.
"Bad news. The new guitarist is mediocre at best. Good news. Corroded Coffin lives on and they finally got a new guitarist."
"Bad news. Robin will not shut up about Vickie. Good news. Robin got that date she wanted."
"Bad news. Wayne had an accident at the plant. Good news, he's okay. I think... this might be weird to you, but I've convinced him to move in, at least until he's healed fully so he's not alone. He's staying in the downstairs guest room. Not that you know where that is. You've never even been to my house... bad news, you've never been to my house. Good news, I really wish you had."
So it goes. Wayne Munson moves in and never moves out. Steve's parents call once, to ask if he wants the house. Steve says yes.
Shortly after, Robin takes a room upstairs. Says she gonna take a year off school before college. The Party moves their dnd games to Steve's giant dining room table. His house is always full but part of Steve feels empty.
"B-bad news," Steve forces the words out around the lump in his throat, "I found out too late. Good news, I'm bisexual. Bad news, good news? I don't know man, the news is I could have loved you. I think I do, but that's the you Wayne and the kids tell me about, so who is to say really."
So it goes.
"Bad news. They're seniors this year, Eds. Seniors! Robin going away to college was bad enough. I don't know if I'll even know how to function when they do. 'Cause they're gonna, you know? They're smart. Too smart to stay in this town," Steve is crying, can feel the tears falling, but doesn't stop them. "I know I should go, too. Somewhere else. Anywhere else. But I can't leave. Wayne's here. You're here. And if I go, who will look after either of you?"
"Bad news. College acceptance letters have come in. They're not even graduated yet. This should be good news, but, heh, friends don't lie."
"Bad news, Eds. I can't remember your voice. I didn't think.... I feel like I remember it but I can't hear it. I want to hear it. I-i need-" Steve doesn't know what he needs, doesn't know how to end that sentence so he just sobs, fingers burying themselves into the dirt of an empty grave.
Wayne gets a phone call one day and says he's gotta go back to Tennessee. Eddie's father -that rocks Steve because while he knows Wayne was Eddie's uncle, he never connected that a father was somewhere out there- Eddie's father, Wayne's younger brother, needs him.
Steve drives Wayne to the airport in Indianapolis. Wayne promises he'll return but Steve won't hold him to that. This is family, and as much as Steve pretends, he isn't Wayne's nephew. Isn't Wayne's family.
As Wayne disappears onto his flight, Steve is left hollow. There's no one left in Hawkins that needs him.
"Bad news, Eds. I think I'm a danger to myself. I keep having these thoughts... like how easy it would be to drive my car into the quarry. Or just slip into the pool and take a deep breath. I don't know who I am, or how to be me, without someone needing me."
Wayne calls and tells him he's coming home. Bringing a guest if that's ok. Steve says okay because he needs to meet the man who taught Eddie how to hot wire a car but not play catch. Also, he hopes to hear Eddie in his voice when they speak.
"Bad news, Eds. I'm too much of a coward to meet your old man. Afraid of what he'll sound like. Because I want him to sound like you so fucking bad it hurts. So instead of being home, I'm hiding here."
And then, a miracle happens.
"Well, I've some bad news for you, too, Stevie. I got my voice from my mom."
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runnning-outof-time · 3 months
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Hiiii, thank you so much for all of these they are so wonderful.
I would love something with Tommy and maybe 30? "You're not hurt are you?"
Was thinking maybe Tommy comes home after a particularly trying day and just flops onto the couch. Y/N comes home from food shopping shortly after and finds him and is concerned for him. They can be either married or whatever you see fit.
Uhmm I'd love it to be nice and fluffy, and I know you said you're not into writing shut sooo just go as heavy as you feel comfortable with and coat it with fluff and I'll be happy. >w< thank you so much I hope you're doing well and I'm happy to be part of this celebration with you! 💜
Thanks so much for sending this in, @chumon ! I’m sorry it took so long for me to write! I absolutely love this idea (thanks for adding some more detail to it…it made it easy to follow). I hope you like what I did with it! Enjoy! :)
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
Part of my 3.5k Celebration — find more stories here!
Never Tired For You
Tommy Shelby x Reader
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Warnings: a slightly suggestive conversation/situation
Word Count: 1153
Summary: (Y/N) finds Tommy laying on the couch and immediately thinks the worst…he couldn’t just be laying down, right?
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Tommy was tired. It had only been two days into his two week stay in London, and he already felt exhausted by the numerous meetings he had to carry out. There was so much to keep track of: the on-going deal with Alfie Solomons and all of the turns that took, making sure Arthur continued to keep things in line at the Eden Club, and keeping tabs of whatever Inspector Campbell was going to have him do next.
Somehow he managed to carve out an afternoon to himself. He was hoping to spend it with his wife, (Y/N), who had joined him on this trip — against his own volition — but upon returning to his sister’s home, he found that she wasn’t in.
So he decided to lay down on the couch. Yes, Tommy Shelby actually took a moment for himself so that he could rest. No, the world didn’t come to an end. But he actually managed to find a position comfortable enough that made him want to stay on the couch.
(Y/N) had been out grocery shopping. She realized that Ada needed a few things, and so with nothing better to do she set out and ran some errands.
The surprise that was waiting for her back at the house just about made her drop the basket she was carrying. Never had she seen her husband laid out on the couch — especially in the middle of the day. The sight of it alone was enough to get her mind running in overdrive.
“Tommy? What’s happened?” she got right to the point as she hurried over to the couch he was laying on.
“Huh?” he asked in confusion, beginning to move from his laying position so that he could sit once more.
“No, don’t move,” she rushed to stop him, her one hand extended in his direction, “you’re not hurt, are you?” Asking the question made her heart drop. She’d did a quick scan of his frame and found nothing glaring at her, but she couldn’t be too sure.
“No, love, I’m not,” he shook his head, continuing with his motions of sitting up, looking up at her with furrowed eyebrows. “I was just laying down,” he told her then, fishing the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket so that he could slide one between his lips.
The second half of his statement made (Y/N) audibly gasp. There’s no way that Tommy Shelby would willingly lay down, she thought to herself incredulously. “Ok now I’m worried, Tom. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yes,” he chuckled at her worry, “there’s not a scratch on me. I’ve just had a long day is all,” he made another attempt to quell her concerns. The look on her face told him that she didn’t quite buy it. “Would you like to check for yourself?” he asked then, his one eyebrow quirking upwards as a grin teetered on his lips.
She could tell by his facial expression that his question was leaning on the suggestive side of things. Just the thought of what he was hinting at made heat rush to her cheeks. His cheekiness was one of the things she loved about him.
“Hmm?” Tommy cut into her thoughts, looking up at her through his eyelashes as he waited for her response.
“No…” she trailed off, biting her bottom lip to conceal her grin when she saw a tinge of disappointment fill his features, “I think I’ll believe you. And besides…you said you had a long day,” she called back to his previous statement.
“I had a long day…doesn’t mean I’m too tired for me wife,” he reminded her, the previous glint returning to his eyes.
“Maybe later,” she decided, her grin growing to match his.
“C’mere then,” he beckoned, leaning back against the couch as he placed the cigarette between his lips again.
“Let me put these away first,” she answered him, lifting the basket she was still holding. He nodded in response and she went to the kitchen to put the groceries away. Moments later, she was back in the front room curled up into Tommy’s side. “So you’ve really only had a long day?” she couldn’t help but bring their previous conversation up again.
“Yes,” he answered, his fingertips absentmindedly dancing over the skin of her arm. “Arthur’s losing it at the club again…I’m not sure what I’m going to do with him.”
“Give him another chance,” (Y/N) suggested, lifting her head from his shoulder when she felt his eyes on her. “I mean it,” she doubled down on her stance, her eyes locked with his.
Tommy pursed his lips and thought about her comments for a moment before he let out a breath and looked to the windows.
“I’ll drop it,” she broke the silence, realizing that his mind was going again. She didn’t want to ruin this moment. “Let’s go back to just sitting here.”
After speaking, she turned on the couch so that she was able to straddle his lap. His hands quickly found their home on her hips, and his eyes were immediately back on hers as the mischievous glint returned.
“Just sitting here, eh?” he questioned her with raised eyebrows.
“I’m sitting,” she grinned, her hands finding his cheeks before she leaned in and pressed her lips to his. Tommy’s hands moved to press flat against her back as their kiss deepened, bringing her body flush against his.
“If this is what it’d be like…” he breathed as they pulled away just slightly, “I’ll have to start coming home early more often.”
“If you hold up your end of the bargain, I’ll hold up mine, Mr. Shelby,” (Y/N) pulled further away from him so that he could see the smile present on her face.
Their lips met again, teeth clashing and tounges pressing together as they became lost in their embrace. Tommy tried to be sneaky with it, but (Y/N) pulled away when she felt him start to unbutton the top of her dress.
“Not so tired anymore, hmm?” she questioned, a suggestive glint in her eye as she sat up straight, her hands running down his cheeks so that she could settle them on his shoulders.
“Never tired for you, love,” he husked, his eyes blown with lust as he managed to continue with his mission despite her breaking further away from him.
“Let’s go to our room then. I don’t think Ada’d want us to do this on her couch.”
That was all Tommy needed to stop what he was doing and drop his hands from her frame. “Go on, then,” he nodded his head to her, “lead the way.”
(Y/N) wasted no time in standing from his lap. She waited for him to stand also before she gingerly took hold of his hand and led him to the steps and up to their room.
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*tags in the reblogs so they’ll hopefully get sent out
MASTERLIST
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redbullgirly · 2 months
Text
HI BARBIE! HI KEN! [part 2, LH44 smau]
Lewis Hamilton x reader
Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau]
Summary: Lewis and his "real life Barbie" girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N, are enjoying each others company during winter break. February brings unexpected drama when the seven-time World Champion decides to leave his team... though is that the only surprise waiting for the fans?
Warnings: Little cliffhanger at the end, but don't worry, I plan on making part 3 soon enough :).
Author's Note: This is continuation of the Lewis x barbie!fashion!icon!reader request, hope you'll all like it. This time there wasn't so much of "barbie content", but I'm sure you won't mind. I honestly love this series, plus there are still many photos for me to use, so stay tuned and let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! :)
lewishamilton posted on instagram
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tagged: yourusername and fencer
lewishamilton Happy holidays from our little trip to mountains 🏔
view all 6,928 comments
user1 I swear to God this is the first time I see Lewis in snow
user2 ikr? like can he even sky? isn't it dangerous for him as an f1 driver??😭
yourusername merry christmas everybody, love u!!🎄🫶
liked by the author
user3 Very happy and merry Christmas to you too Y/N🥰
user4 yeah yeah... but where's the usual christmas post y/n?!
user5 that's what I wanna know user5 😥
user6 She always posts the hot pics with their tree... and this year nothing ☹️
yourusername omg sry guys, i didn't think you'd care sm! i was actually sick on the christmas eve and didn't feel like celebrating 🙈💖
user4 ohhh that's totally okay y/n!!!!
user7 Thanks for replying, hope you'll get better soon!❤️‍🩹
charles_leclerc I see you're copying my training now😉
user8 lol charles just try not to fall on your face on ski
user9 no but can you imagine if we got Charles & Lewis training together in the mountains 😩
user10 It wouldn't even have to be in the mountains... I'd actually prefer them training somewhere hot so they don't have to wear shirts🤭
user9 i love your way of thinking girly
user11 King 👑
roscoelovescoco Mom's and dad's playing's in's the snow's ❄️
liked by the author and yourusername
user12 they left you home alone Roscoe?
roscoelovescoco Of course's not's... my auntie's watched's me's ☺️
user13 This is so adorable🥹🥹
user14 y'all don't understand how much I love their little family
user15 😘🖤✌️💯🌟
user16 y/n's ski suit looks so cool
fencer Good times man!
liked by the author and yourusername
user17 You are my God, Lewis Hamilton❤️
mercedesamgf1 Enjoy your holidays and don't break anything please!⛷🤍
yourusername trying!! 😊🌨
user18 lmfao
user19 Imagine if their best driver broke a leg or smth💀
user20 as a Lewis fan that'd be the last straw of my depression xd
user21 It's enough they couldn't build him a decent car last two years 🥲
user21 you & y/n are the best couple ever!🥰❤️
user22 Why's Lewis in red tho?
user23 sus 🤨
user24 some of you are truly bored and delusional🤣
user25 He probably has it so Y/N can see him on the slope and watches over him tbh
user26 idk where the narrative of lewis being bad at skying came from but i love it 😭
twitter
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yourusername posted on instagram stories
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seen by lewishamilton, haileybieber, danielricciardo, emmawatson and 562,983 others
lewishamilton replied to your story: Love you so much baby!❤️
yourusername love u too!!!💞
lewishamilton You are my brave girl, aren't you?
lewishamilton It's great you share your experience with others Y/N and trust me when I say I'll always be there for you 🫶🏾🫶🏾
yourusername awww lew, i know and i'll be always so grateful for it 🥰
lewishamilton Anything for my Barbie yourusername reacted with ❤️ to this message
user1 replied to your story: You and Lewis are just soooo cute omg
alexandrasaintmleux replied to your story: forever y/n!!🤍🌺
yourusername ofc!!!
yourusername you're probably the only reason i hope the negotiations w ferrari will work out 🙈🤭
alexandrasaintmleux oh yeah, it'd be great to have you in the garage next year 💕
yourusername yeah, let's see what happens in few weeks!
user2 replied to your story: so prettyyyyyy i wanna be u
user3 replied to your story: THE IT GIRL
landonorris replied to your story: The question isn't if you'll be at every gp but if you'll come to McLaren hospitality for one of them😏
yourusername pretty sure mercedes wouldn't be happy about that 🫣
landonorris Oh c'mmon Y/NNNN
landonorris You promised me like ten years ago you'd come
yourusername you were a literal baby ten years ago lando...
landonorris But a cute baby who deserves to have you in McLaren hospitality!!!
yourusername okay okay, i'll come for a visit this year 😽
landonorris ONE HAMILTON DOWN TWO TO GO💪
yourusername what?? 😭
landonorris I decided my life goal is to get you, Roscoe and Lewis to be my fans 😁😁
landonorris Lewis can wait till retirement ofc 😁😁
yourusername idk if i hate you or love you mr. worldwide
landonorris 🤷😙
user4 replied to your story: Mommy and daddy fr
user5 replied to your story: 😍
user6 replied to your story: Hope you'll heal soon if you're still sick!!!
yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by bellahadid, lewishamilton, alexandrasaintmleux and 683,912 others
tagged: lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco
yourusername my job is beach 🦀🐬🐚🪸☀️ (btw how many emojis is too much??)
view all 4,068 comments
lewishamilton Isn't that supposed to be Ken's line darling?
yourusername theoretically... but i think i look better on the beach, don't you? 🤭🤷‍♀️
lewishamilton Well of course, your fashion taste when it comes to bikini is hard to beat ✨🫶🏾
yourusername damn are you saying i look hot in that bikini mr. hamilton? ☺️💞
lewishamilton It's Sir actually
yourusername oh shut up lew, i knew you're gonna bring it up 😭
landonorris I just witnessed Lewis openly flirting through instagram comments... the world won't ever be the same. I need to bleach my eyes 😓
yourusername yeah u should learn from my bf lando norizz
landonorris Heyyy this is online bullying, someone stop it
yourusername 😘😘
landonorris 🫤
user1 i have no idea what just happened but i loved every second of it
user2 It looks like when Lewis finally interacts with someone on instagram, it can get WILD
user3 not y/n using lando norizz 💀
user4 she's one of us now
user5 BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW SWEET Y/N & LEWIS ARE PLS?!!🥹
user6 Y/N living her best life and I'm here for it
francisca.cgomes enjoy!🌴
liked by the author
yourusername thx kika, you too!!💓
user7 On my knees for you🛐🛐🛐
roscoelovescoco The fruit's on's the plane's was yummy's 😋🥗
yourusername i definitely agree, let's thank dad for spoiling us!💖
lewishamilton My favourites deserve only the best 😉
user8 AWWWW so cute
user9 I'll never understand why rich people torture their pets like this... c'mmon, why would you give fruit to a dog? He needs meat and dog food. 🙄😤
user10 tf user9 you clearly don't know them at all if you think they're torturing Roscoe... this dog has better life than most of us lol xd
yourusername i'd just like to make it clear to everyone that me and lewis take the best care of our dog we possibly can, give him the food he wants and needs and love him dearly. it feels very offending for someone who doesn't see into our private life to assume we're "torturing" roscoe. you'll be blocked user9 and goodbye
liked by lewishamilton
user11 You know you fucked up when queen Y/N herself writes smth like this to you 🫢
user12 tell them girl!!! you & lew are literally the best parents to roscoe ever!!!❣️
user13 🔥😍
user14 THE BODY GIVING
kellypiquet Wow, the dress is so beautiful!💝
yourusername aww kelly thank you sm! definitely have to see each other soon 💕🫶
kellypiquet Can't wait for the girls talk!
user15 omg imagine listening to y/n y/l/n and kelly piquet casually having girls talk w each other 😫😫
user16 The tea has to be hot between the wags
user17 OMG, gorgeous as always 💖
user18 this couple has me in a chokehold
user19 RIGHT?! why is nobody talking about the 4th pic
user20 They're so hot fr 🥵
user21 and cute too🥺
user22 Love you Y/N 💋
lewishamilton posted on instagram
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liked by nicolashamilton, naomischiff, tomholland2013, landonorris and 1,983,022 others
tagged: yourusername
lewishamilton It's always important to focus on happy memories and remember the good moments with your loved ones. Couldn't ask for better people around me 🤞🏾💫
view all 11,239 comments
user1 funny how he talks about positivity and then in the first picture he's holding middle fingers up lmfao XD
user2 Maybe he took Daniel's F.E.A. rule to his heart🤣
user3 what's that???
user2 Fuck 'em all
yourusername so lucky to have you around me lew! 🥰💗
liked by the author
user4 stoppp I love her
user5 I wanna have what they have😩
charles_leclerc 🤞💫
user6 Ariana what are you doing here?!
user7 Beautiful 🙌❤️
user8 ohhh lew w his dad it's so cute
user9 His dad and Y/N in the same post... we are getting fed rn
neymarjr Amen brother!🙏❤️
liked by the author
user10 I love their their friendship
user11 it's so unreal how the world is small and my fav football player is friends with my fav driver🤭
user12 THE MAN
user13 the second pic is adorable 🥹🥹
user14 I'm jealous but I don't know if I wanna be him or her
user15 honestly i wanna be the third person in their relationship... imagine dating y/n y/l/n & lewis hamilton all at once😩
user16 OMG REAL
user17 boyfriend lewis is my favorite 🫡
1st February 2024
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yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by scuderiaferrari, lewishamilton, maxfewtrell, t22felton and 3,340,276 others
yourusername guess it's time to change colours ❤️🍓🌹🏎
view all 29,650 comments
scuderiaferrari Welcome to the team, Y/N!❤️‍🔥🏎
user1 you'll make our fav wag depressed next year lol
user2 Ferrari made a master move here 👏
user3 welcome y/nnnnn 🥰
user4 I'm still shocked
user5 me too sis😭
user6 We all are 😃
user7 🔥🔥
user8 when the gf is posting about it, we know it's not just a joke anymore😥
user9 FORZA FERRARI
user10 omg me & y/n y/l/n will be fans of the same team!!!!
user11 literally the only good thing about this
alexandrasaintmleux red looks gorgeous on you 💋💋
yourusername on both of us babe 💋💋
user12 BESTIES
user11 okay this is another good thing about the whole lewis situation xd
user13 Y/N and Alex will be so iconic next year 🙇‍♀️
user14 literally life goals to be like them😍
user15 So excited for this🤩 favorite driver and favorite team and favorite wag🤝
user16 idc about ferrari, but y/n in red slays
user17 omg yessss she's so hot in that dress🥵
charles_leclerc And now you can't make fun of me and my therapist 😘
liked by the author
user18 LOL
user19 not him admitting he goes to therapy bc of ferrari💀
user20 What about Carlos?? You said you come as a package 😡😪
user21 so true user20 it's so disrespectful towards carlos
user22 Guys calm down, this is their job and it's known for brutal driver switches. You'll have to deal with it, it's not personal business 🤷‍♂️
user23 yeah i don't think they're such good friends anyway... it was all for pr and marketing lmao
user24 I agree that it's just a sport, but pls don't do this to my charlos heart... their friendship HAS to be real😓
user25 Always support u and your boyfriend😉😉😉🙌🙌🙌
user26 Carlos deserved so much more!
user27 yes but she can't do anything about it girl, she's literally just dating Lewis 😐
user28 "Everybody is a Ferrari fan. Even if they say they're not, they are Ferrari fans." Vettel❤️
user29 i did not think it was real
user30 I need Lewis to comment something about this other than his statement pls 😭
user31 yeah i had high hopes bc he always comments and interacts w y/n's posts...
user32 Guess not this time😒
user33 Y/N unleashing more waves of chaos
user34 and we love our barbie for that 🤭
messages between Y/N and Lewis
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THE END
Author's Note: Thank you for reading this! I'll appreciate likes, reblogs, comments, follow and any other way of support. Also, I started my taglist, so if you want to be added or removed, let me know! That way you!ll be first to know that another smau or story came out :). Sorry for the cliffhanger at the end, but don't worry, I plan on making another part. Have a great day!
Taglist: @namgification @bloodyymaryyy
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singmyaubade · 10 months
Text
No Longer Yours
James Potter x Female!Reader
IB: In The Cold November Rain by @sweetsweetjellybean (Make sure to check it out, it’s incredible and one of the best I’ve ever read !)
A/N: First, I apologize for my time writing this; it just had to be perfect! I am so grateful that you all love my story enough to give it so much love and support and practically beg for a part 3; thank you so much. I had no idea how to start and continue this, so please be kind. I really hope you guys enjoy this part, and I hope it's everything you dreamed of <3
Summary: James had disregarded you for multiple years, but when you have an epiphany in your final year, how does it feel to taste his own medicine?
Warning: It may contain swearing and soon-to-be smut.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
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"Shh.. don't wake her up!" You heard Lily whisper in your half-asleep state as the sun peeked at you through the blinds.
"It's Marlene's big oger feet," Mary snorted.
"Hey! My feet are not the size of oger feet," Marlene replied, sticking out her tongue.
"Shh!" Lily warned.
You heard the shuffling of paper and steps as you opened your eyes to see your best friends hanging up decorations, a smile appearing on your face immediately.
"Oh, bollocks," Lily sighed, face-palming, "Happy birthday!" She yelled, half annoyed but half happy there was a smile on your face. She embraced you as you sat upright in bed, glad to see your friend's dedication to your birthday.
The rest of them told you a happy birthday, embracing you in a tight hug.
"Wow, I can't believe you actually got Marlene up this early," You said, opening another card they gave you.
"Well, it took a chicken drumstick," Dorcas replied.
"Otherwise, I would've been grouchy, and Y/n would have had a horrible birthday, so really I did it for her," Marlene said as Mary rolled her eyes.
"I wonder what the Marauders have planned, especially James," Lily muttered.
Every year for your birthday, James would give you a grand birthday party and tons of presents. He usually would sneak into your dorm room and surprise you with cannons and the other Marauders, but of course, this year was different.
And coincidentally, your birthday was the same day as the start of winter break, which always meant you had to pack on your birthday.
And every birthday, you had to go over to James's house for your birthday dinner with your families.
Which you were not looking forward to this year.
"Oh shit, sorry, Y/n, I know you don't want to speak about him," Lily apologized.
"It's alright; I'm sure I'll be reminded of him today many times," You replied, getting out of bed, "I can't believe I don't get to spend my birthday at Hogwarts," You said, grabbing clothes from your closet, setting them next to the trunk.
"It does suck, but you can at least be excited about your birthday dinner," Lily replied, closing her trunk.
"Hopefully, it goes well without James hinting to our parents that I hate him and don't want anything to do with him," You angrily said, shoving your clothes in your trunk.
"Do you really hate him, though?" Mary asked, "I mean, you were best friends with him all these years, and now, you utterly hate him,"
"That was before I realized he was cruel and truly considered me anything but something that he couldn't get rid of," You said, "But enough about James, are we still meeting together after Christmas?"
"Of course, your house, Y/n?" Dorcas asked.
You nodded, "But we can't steal my parent's booze again; I'm pretty sure the elves are scared of Marlene,"
"I didn't mean to scare them with my clown impression; it was just too good," Marlene smirked.
"Yeah yeah, for sure," You said, laughing before packing the rest of your clothes.
Suddenly, your parent's owl flew in from the window, delivering you a letter. You opened the envelope and straightened the folded-up letter, which stated:
Dear beloved Y/n,
Your father and I are experiencing a torturous delay from France; we have fought with the conductor multiple times and even considered apparating or the floo. Unfortunately, because of the horrible mangling rabbit, I TOLD your father not to eat, he has been throwing up all evening, and we can't apparate, and the nearest floo is eight hours away. You will stay with the Potters tonight and tomorrow night because too many wards might injure you in the house that the elves can't disable, but we hope to return before then. We want you to have the most incredible birthday and love you so much; we are incredibly sorry to miss it. Please forgive us.
Sincerely,
Your proud parents.
"What does the letter say?" Lily asked, glancing at you the folding her socks.
"My parents are stuck in a delay and can't make it to my birthday dinner in time, or even tomorrow," You shrugged.
"I am so sorry, Y/n," Lily said, embracing you.
You hugged her back. "It's okay; at least I have the Potters.
"Are you sure you will be okay?" Dorcas asked.
"Yeah, you can stay with me if you want," Mary offered.
"No, it's fine." You sighed, "They will be hurt if I skipped the opportunity to continue the tradition, and my mom would wring my head off if I didn't go," You joked.
"Okay, well, let us know," Lily smiled.
The whole part of you was sincerely upset; you didn't want your parents to not be there for your birthday. Even worse, you weren't on good terms with James, which only made for an awkward dinner with his family.
But you understood and knew your parents would make it up to you, and you know how guilty they felt; you just missed them.
You chose to keep your mind off it and keep packing until it was time to go to the train.
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"When does this bloody train come?" Marlene shivered, "I'm fucking freezing,"
"I told you to bring your jumper," Mary sighed.
"I didn't think I really needed it," Marlene replied, gritting her teeth.
"I knew you would be cold," You said, giving her one of your extra jumpers.
"You know, Y/n, I'll kick Potter's bloody ass for you; just remember that," Marlene suggested, causing you to laugh.
"Speaking of the devil," Dorcas muttered under her breath.
You turned around to see James looking straight into your eyes. You had to admit that James had never been so intimidating. His eyes looked as if they had darkened, and he looked as if you were his Slytherin competitor in Quidditch.
"Are you ready?" He asked, his voice sounding deeper.
He didn't even say Happy Birthday.
"I'm gonna sit with them," You blankly stated, not an ounce of kindness in your voice.
"It's better if we sit together," James demanded, "Otherwise, we won't be able to find each other in the crowd when the train stops," He explained to you slowly as if you were a child, which only pissed you off.
"Are you fucking mishearing me, or are you just delusional?" You asked, "I said I'm gonna sit with my friends and not assholes. I don't even consider an acquaintance." You sneered, your voice sounding so harsh that it shocked your friends, "Please do me a favor and leave me the fuck alone."
"Are you really gonna be an uptight bitch?" James asked, a cocky smile on his face, "I mean, Jesus, I like it better when your mouth is shut or perhaps filled." Some of you knew that James was just being an asshole because he was hurt, which is what he always did, even when he was a kid, but the only thing about it was that he only did it to you.
That only angered you more before you slapped him for his rude comment, "Don't you fucking dare speak to me like that."
"Or what?" He stepped closer
"Okay, guys!" Lily stepped in, "We will approach you five minutes before the train stops, and you guys will walk together in peace, hopefully," Lily dragged you away as you glared at James.
"I can't believe you actually slapped him," Marlene said, following after you guys, "I mean, after what he said, I would've punched him so hard in the di-"
Mary cut her off, "Jokes aside, are you okay, Y/n? I mean, I have never seen James so mean and awful towards you or anyone for that matter,"
You sighed, "Yeah, I'm fine, I just don't get why he is so mean to me when he was the one who broke my trust in the first place,"
"What did he do?" Marlene asked.
The rest of the group looked at Marlene as if she had killed a unicorn. Nobody had really asked what James had done but considering your resentment towards him, it must’ve been unforgiving.
You hesitated, “He just didn’t say some nice things about me.” You answered, hoping to move on.
“Like what kind of things?” Marlene pried.
You could tell she was just curious, but you were so humiliated by what James had said that you didn’t even want to tell your closest friends.
Dorcas elbowed Marlene, causing her to hiss in pain before she said, “It isn’t our business if you don’t want to tell us, Y/n.”
“Yeah,” Lily agreed, “Maybe it’s better it is between you and James.”
The rest of the group agreed including Marlene who was hunched over in pain and verbally cursing Dorcas for the hard elbow.
You muttered a “thanks” before heading onto the train. You sat by the window, staring outside to the foggy mountains.
You didn’t want to admit it but you did miss James and how much he cared for your birthday. Sometimes it seemed like it was his birthday with how high he held your birthday.
You didn’t understand why he couldn’t just try to even figure out what he had done or fight for your forgiveness, he just chose to be angry at you.
You didn't even want to think about him. Why does your whole life revolve around him?
"Anything from the trolley dearies?" The Trolley Witch asked.
"Chocolate frogs," Marlene said.
"Jumbling Jellies," Lily answered.
"I'll take Fizzing Wheezies," You said, paying her 10 galleons for you all.
"Y/n, you don't ha-" Lily was about to say before Marlene shushed her.
Lily glared as Marlene spoke, "Bless your heart, Y/n," She smiled as you laughed.
As Marlene started devouring her chocolate frog, you couldn't help but remember how you and James would share Fizzing Wheezies every time on your birthday on the train.
Practically tradition.
You wondered if he thought the same. If he was relishing in the memories.
Your thinking was halted when Dorcas set a hand on your thigh as you smiled, laying your head on her shoulder. You closed your eyes, trying to prepare for the day ahead.
--
"Y/n," Someone lightly shook you by your shoulder as you looked to see Lily. She was waking all of the girls up as the train stopped.
You yawned, getting up to grab your luggage. James was right that there would be traffic, so you had to rush off, saying your goodbyes to your best friends.
"Promise to write?" Lily asked, looking near tears.
"Lils, it's only a week," You snorted as she gave you a stern look.
"A week I won't get to see you," She hugged you tighter as you smiled and returned it.
"See you before Christmas?" She asked.
You rubbed her shoulder, "See you before Christmas."
"Promise me you won't forgive Potter," Marlene sighed, causing you to laugh.
"Do you have no faith in her at all?" Mary asked next to Marlene.
"Do you have no faith in her at all?" Marlene mocked, causing Mary to glare.
"Okay, okay!" You laughed at the both of them, "Only if you promise you both will stop bickering," You hugged them both.
They glared at each other as Dorcas spoke, "Forgetting someone?"
You grinned, "Never," You hugged her, kissing her on the cheek.
You were waiting for her to say, "Give him hell?" You asked as she laughed.
"I think you know what to do," She encouraged before you exited, waving goodbye to all of them.
Even though it was only a week, you still hated being away from your best friends. They were like your third family besides your actual and the Potters.
You saw the back of Sirius's head as you approached him, considering he lived with the Potters.
He turned around before you could tap him, picking you up, "Happy birthday Y/n!" He said, kissing your cheek as you yelped.
"Okay, thank you, Sirius, put me down!" You giggled.
He put you down as you smoothed your clothing, "So where's Potter?' You asked.
He smirked, "Only last name? Ice cold Y/n." You didn't respond, so he assumed you were waiting for an answer, "He went to the toilets,"
You hummed, silently tapping your foot on the pavement, only hearing the ruckus around you both.
"Excited for your birthday dinner?" He asked, partly ready for the drama.
"Very," You sarcastically said.
"Hey, Mom and Dad aren't too bad," He said.
"We both know Euphemia and Fleamont aren't the Potters I despise," You muttered.
"Well, for your sake, I'll make him behave," He sent a charming smile your way.
"What would I do without you, Black?" You rolled your eyes.
"Probably be miserable," He answered, causing you to laugh.
"What are we laughing about?" James said, not even a smidge of excitement in his tone.
Your usual mad facade slipped back in as you grabbed your luggage and started heading toward the car. You could hear Sirius laughing behind you.
You saw Euphemia and Fleamont waiting by the car like they had usually done since Sixth year since James told them to stop coming inside because of his newfound "popularity."
Your face lit up immediately, excited to see two of your favorite people worldwide.
You embraced Euphemia, giving the tightest hug you could and giving Fleamont a kiss on the cheek while they asked about your studies. You could see James rolling his eyes both audibly and physically.
"Okay, Mother, I don't think Y/n likes all the questions," James said, leaning his head on the window while his father drove.
Sirius was in between the two of you, snoring asleep. Considering the train ride, you didn't even know why he was tired.
"I don't mind at all," You said, smiling as James glared at you.
You knew that Euphemia could feel the tension between you and James, but she ignored it, "So Y/n, I have made you something extraordinary." Euphemia said.
"And that is?" You asked, knowing she wouldn't tell you.
"I guess you will have to find out tonight during dinner." She sweetly said, winking at you.
You smiled to yourself, relieved your birthday wouldn't be that bad.
--
You entered the house that you had been over to so many times, admiring it fully.
"James will show you your room," Euphemia said, rubbing your back as you smiled, trying not to show your discomfort about James.
James didn't even wait for you before heading up the steps. Thankfully, he carried your luggage because he knew Euphemia would berate him.
"It's in there," He lazily said, not even opening the door before walking downstairs.
Jerk.
You grunted, lifting your heavy suitcase inside the room.
You admired the room, which looked like it was made for you. It was warm and tremendous for a guest room. It had all of your favorite colors and smells.
It was perfect.
You decided to nap before dinner, considering you had no one to talk to, and you were partly tired after the drive anyway. You knew an elf would get you when it was time.
--
"Ms." A frail voice said as your eyes fluttered open to see Dot, the Potter's elf that had been there since you had first moved in.
"Oh, hello, Dot," You spoke lightly, yawning.
"Ms. Potter tells Dot to inform you it's time for dinner," Her small voice said.
"Thank you, Dot, I appreciate it," You thanked before the elf nodded her head and apparated out.
You stretched, wearing a semi-formal dress, one of your favorites.
You headed down the stairs as you smelt the food radiating from the dining room. It was all of your favorites; it was pretty extraordinary. Ms. Potter was always the type to blow you off of your feet, regardless.
Your face lit up, "This is stunning, Ms. Potter," You looked at the glowing lights.
Euphemia smiled, "I'm glad you love it,"
You sat next to James with Sirius next to him. His face had certainly softened, but he was clenching his jaw when you sat beside him.
"Now," Euphemia started, "I know we usually do gifts after dinner, but we all had such beautiful surprises for you that we couldn't wait."
Euphemia started first, giving you one of your favorite movies since you were a kid, except the movie wasn't available anywhere.
You rose excitedly, embracing her, "How did you get this?" You asked, smiling at the CDs.
"A friend of mine is good friends with the director, and he happened to have one last copy," She answered as you excitingly hugged her before returning to your seat.
"Thank you, Ms. Potter," You looked at Euphemia, "I love it,"
She nodded before Fleamont gave you his gift. It was a beautiful crystal from Bejing.
You thanked him for the beautiful gem before Sirius offered you his gift. He gave you a perfume that smelled of fire whisky but wasn't actually fire whisky.
Part of you wanted to know how he did it, but you decided to save it for later as you thanked him, kissing him on the cheek as he cheered.
Last was James, who picked up the gift from under the table. He had looked you in the eyes, not a set of resentment in them at all.
Your breath hitched as he gave you a stuffed animal your grandfather gave you when you were nine. You had cried for a week because you had lost it and teared up when anyone mentioned it.
He gave it to you as it looked brand new and was cleaner than when you had it when you were nine.
When you pressed on the heart, it always said "I love you" in your grandfather's voice and even had your name on the collar.
You teared up, "How did you find it?"
He stuttered, "I-I found it in the treehouse in the corner,"
"I thought the treehouse was infested with Clockonuts," You said.
He laughed, "Well, I risked my life to get it back,"
Every sense of anger you had felt had disappeared; he had done something that was so out of his actions lately that it made you miss him.
"Thank you," You genuinely said.
He gave you a simple nod before you began eating. Conversations started after, talking about school.
"So, any boys, Y/n?" Euphemia asked as James dropped his fork on his plate, making a huge sound that caused you to look at him.
You cleared your throat, "Well, I am trying not to focus on that right now,"
"Except for Carrows," James muttered.
"Who's Carrows?" Euphemia asked, genuinely curious.
You took a bite of your carrot, "Um, well," You swallowed, "He's just a friend I have."
"I don't sit on my friend's laps," James scoffed, causing you to glare at him.
"Well, I don't call my friends sluts," You spat.
"James Fleamont Potter, what did you call her?" Euphemia added.
James ignored her, "Well, when your best friend is acting like one just because you don't fancy her, I think she deserves it,"
Mate-" Sirius chimed in, but you were faster.
"When have I ever fancied you?" You asked, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of that knowledge.
"Y/n, you were practically obsessed with me," He ridiculed, "I couldn't get away from you, and the only time I could was when I dated Lily; it was the best months of my life," His face looked shocked after he said the last words.
You couldn't tell if he meant it, but it hurt you badly. All those years of friendship were fake; he couldn't tolerate you.
"That's enough!" Euphemia said; even Sirius was silent.
A tear ran down your cheek, "I'm actually not feeling well; I'm gonna go to bed." You said, placing your napkin on the plate in front of you.
You heard Euphemia berating James as you ran up to your room. In some ways, you didn't understand why James did everything he did if he hated you so much.
Why did he give you that gift? Why did he always call you and get mad when you didn't want to be his friend? Did you ever mean anything to James Potter?
And if you did, why did he have to ruin your birthday?
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A/N: If you hated this, I apologize.
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oncomingnight · 9 months
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yandere! Scientist
Hello everyone, thank you so much for all of your support on my previous stories. I was extremely excited about writing this specific piece because it's sort of based on movie that's set to come out real soon. I hope you enjoy and feel free to send requests/speak to me in my ask box.
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You met Seán while you were both freshmen in highschool. you noticed he was relatively quieter than everybody else in the classroom. He was the most knowledgeable student in that damned classroom, he was just stealthy about it. The two of you really got to know each other when you were selected as partners, selected based on the similarity of your scores, percentages and your ability to learn certain subjects.
Even after the project was finished and graded, the two of you still kept speaking to each other. The reason for that was because he was absolutely and undeniably in love with you. It took awhile for it to click into your head that he was attracted to you, but when you finally realized, you couldn't be more ecstatic.
He confessed to you at the beginning of your sophomore year. Whilst you were putting some of your belongings into your locker, he showed up behind you with blood red roses in his hand, along with a comically large basket of gifts. A tea-stained letter was nestled into the folds of one of the roses, inside of it was him expressing just how happy you've made him for the past year. How he wants your love reserved for him and him alone.
"Hello, Y/n, I'm sorry to have caught you off guard. You don't have to say anything until after I'm done talking but I have to tell you now because it'll do no good to either of us to just have this rot within me. You've been the subject of my love and utter adoration for...oh, dear...it's been so long I've now forgotten. But, I'll have you believe that I have never and will never forget how sublime you make me feel. Every time I think of you, I can't help but smile and think of our potential future together. Y/n, I wish so desperately to take care of you, touch you, kiss you, to hear my name on your lips for the rest of time, only if you'll let me. Now I'm ready, what do you think?"
You were absolutely stunned to hear such profound declarations of love fall from his lips, even more so when the declarations were about you.
You stood there with your bouquet of prickly roses, woven basket full of all you took joy in. You opened your dry mouth and said, "I can't believe you said all that about me. All of this is so beautiful, Seán. So, what do I think? I'm not sure what I think but I know I want to be your girlfriend."
After high school, he immediately got down on one knee to ask you if you'd be forever his woman. His wife. Of course, your answer was a tearful 'yes' as you blubbered about how much you loved him and about how so happy you were.
Highschool sweethearts!
You've always known about his appreciation for science and his interest to pursue a career in that topic. You can only imagine just how thrilled he was when he got a position in a government facility with the job he's always fought for. He picked you up and swirled you around, causing you to become temporarily dizzy as you giggled at his enthusiasm. Seán doused your hot and flustered cheeks with kisses as he smiled at your precious laugh.
He was so glad he'd managed to get a PhD and job in something that would make him enough money to take care of the both of you, but, mostly you. He was so appreciative to you for staying with him for all these years, always his perfect girl, always so supportive, always giving him beyond helpful ideas + advice. You were perfect.
Eventually, the world was struck with a variety of struggles, mainly caused by powerful political figures that simply did not agree with each other. Many people were caught in the crossfire, protests began being organized, riots ensuing right outside of government buildings. What followed all of these events? Well, the only reasonable answer. War.
Because of this, your husband was called into office and put into a group of other physics scientists. They claimed they needed a defense weapon in case of everyone being put into a harmful and treacherous situation. Seán was made the head man of the project.
This worried you to the fullest extent, maybe you were being dramatic but your husband's position in the project could make him a direct target. When you shared your thoughts with him he couldn't help but give you a small endearing smile.
"you've always been a worrisome woman, haven't you? Nothing will happen to you or to us. I'll make sure of it, I'm benefiting them by building this damned thing, they wouldn't dare let anything disrupt our life, m'kay?"
"Seán, I'm not worried about me. I'm worried about you. Yes, you're benefiting them which is exactly why you'd be in danger."
"I can take care of myself, mo mhuirnín dílis. You've witnessed it, no? Don't worry yourself any longer."
Now, you may be wondering what he's talkin' about. Well, don't worry I'll tell you.
Seán had taken you with him to visit the small fishing town he had grown up in. After eating a delicious meal with your in-laws, Seán was invited by some old friends to go out and drink at an old and creaky pub. They have been asking to meet you and this was a chance for him to show you off to everyone in town, so, he accepted.
The night remained still and calm, despite the occasional roar of laughter that would occur at the table. It was fun, you were so glad Seán took you out to see where he was gifted with life.
But then
As you headed towards the friendly barmaid to make an order of crisps for everyone seated at the table. As you waited to be handed your order, a ragged young man that looked incredibly haggard for his age due to all of the alcohol approached you. You were sure he was just going to request assistance in catching a cab as he looked far too intoxicated to do it on his own. But no. He just wanted some action.
He pushed himself onto you with his flirtatious words but after you rejected him, you had angered him to an extreme point. He gripped your arm hard enough to bruise and spoke into your face with a horrid stench on his tongue.
"Now why won't you just shut your little mouth and please a man, hm?" He grinned maliciously.
Suddenly, you saw a quick flash of a fist show in your vision, not expecting it to be Seán punching the man with all the force he had in his slim yet firm body. All it took was one hit for the man to be on the ground, passed out. Yet, Seán didn't stop there and he wouldn't have stopped if his friend hadn't yanked him off the man. He was slamming his knuckles onto the man's pale face until it was almost fully covered in a crimson red.
You'd never seen him act in such a rabid way but you weren't angry at him. He was just protecting you. In an extremely visceral and self incriminating way. He didn't care, he's done far worse in defense of you but those were things he'd done in secret.
You were already far aware of how protective he could get and how emotional he was when it came to you. Someone could say something harmful about you and he'd mutter under his breath in anger, digging his nails into the palm of his hands, and eventually kiss your forehead before leaving the house to go do what he knew needed to be done.
When the two of you were intimate he'd cry at times while expressing his incredibly deep affection for you. He loved seeing you like this, furrowed brows, flushed cheeks, your huffs and puffs when he teased you. "I'd kill for you, y-you know that, yeah? Oh, A mhuirnín, I'd do anything for you. Absolutely anything."
There comes a lot of stress with his job, at times he'd return from work and burrow his head into your tummy, wrapping his firm arms around your waist. No matter how many times he messages you during work, no matter how many times he re-reads the letter you left him in his lunch, no matter how many times he calls you, he'll always yearn for your touch.
You lift his face from your stomach and remove his glasses, ruffling his dark curls after doing so. Your thumb gently swipes over his cheek, before leaning in and giving him a deep kiss. He melts into your touch and gives you a love-drunk smile.
His perfect girl.
The both of you would go on the loveliest getaway trips when he was able to take a break from work. You'd go to a restaurant and he'd hold your chin as he gently fed you pieces from the pasta you'd ordered, giving you time to chew and swallow.
When in clothing stores, he'd wait outside of the changing room on a cushioned seat, waiting to see his wife's lovely face and figure. He would never let you look at the price tags as that would discourage you from buying what you'd like, he didn't want that.
Seán has a habit of overworking himself to sketch out the building plans for the project he was assigned, he needed it to be perfect. This could change the future and if there even was a possibility that there'd be a future. You'd walk into his office, seeing his hooked nose being beautifully lit by the candle on his desk. He took a sip of his Bushmills whiskey before turning to look at you with eyes full of admiration. "You have to eat something, surely you know that. Plus, I made it so you have to eat it or else I'll get upset."
He's obviously very well known in the science world, I mean, his creation will determine the outcome of society. He's bound to get some recognition. People have come to be obsessed with the relationship the two of you have and the story of your love. Every photograph people see of the two of you, Seán is turned towards you with the most love sick look of them all. In photographs where he's alone, he may as well be the most stoic man in the world.
People would post slideshows of the two of you together and caption it with something along the lines of:
'me and him'
Others in the comments would practically point and laugh at the person with responses of:
'you wish.' 'y'all aren't that important ' 'try again' 'interesting 🧐.' 'Can you be serious...?'
This man is the most serious man in the entire universe when he's at work and surrounded with his partners. But, when he's alone with you? He's nuzzling his cheek into your chest, kissing all over you, kissing your hand, hugging you from behind, THE WHOLE NINE YARDS.
Seán is the type of husband to pick up your coffee + bakery order to wake you up with, leaves you gifts and notes to find around the house, takes you to the most wonderful places anyone could ever go to.
He's so glad he made someone like you his wife.
Forever :).
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there's dirt on my face from when they buried me alive; i'll show you how to kiss, teach me how to breathe through these soil-laden lungs.
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jw60 x reader: what happens at the renaissance faire does (not) stay at the renaissance faire.
(warnings: blasphemous filth (it's honestly not bad), unprotected penetrative sex (m on f), idk a little hair pulling, nothing too crazy (be proud of me!), but you should be warned about the insanity that is me writing slow burn. i know i'm forgetting a lot but all my usual suspects. (please be warned, don’t read if you’re not 100% sure.)
(a/n: well, favorites, did someone say longest story yet? no, size doesn't matter, but this is getting out of hand. we're over 15k, now. next time i'm just gonna hand you a novel. happy valentine's day from the writer that loves you the most. where to begin? no, i don't know anything about faire culture or even that much about theatre, but i hope you like this anyways, because i absolutely loved writing it. i guess goalies are for the heartbreakers (and jw60 is for people who have been demonized because they're hot). this is for those of us with a little bit of a reputation, a little bit of a history. you deserve someone who thinks you look like a princess when your tits are falling out of your corset. yeah, the pacing's probably a bit off, and i got carried away with his big doe-eyes, but shh! don't tell anyone. oh, and you guys can pry bad kisser jw60 from my cold, dead hands. you know how i used to say i hope you watch the canucks and think, wow, qh43 definitely wants something that's just his? i hope you watch the leafs (when jw60 comes back) and think, wow, sweetheart doesn't know how to kiss! and with that stiff upper neck, too, poor baby! of course, please tell me what you think, because i love it when you do. what else? thank you a million times for all the love. try to spot the baby leafs in the supporting cast. and i'm about halfway done with frat!jh86 (it's fun, you'll love it). thank you for being patient with me. go canucks. until next time, all my love).
the corset was making it really, really hard to breathe. you swore, tonight, when you finally unbound yourself, there would be indentations of the small brass eyelets in your spine, perhaps that your back would slink and melt into the ground, having grown accustomed to the relentless support of the tightly-tied ribbon.
"i don't want to hear it," jenny, your best friend, said, holding a hand up to silence you before you even spoke. "you look unreal. you'll thank me for this, babe, i swear it."
you shook your head at her. "i just don't get why i have to dress like a medieval prostitute," you mused, gesturing to yourself, then her, "and you get be, uh, whatever that is."
jenny threw a hairbrush at you, which you dodged. "i'm a jester. you know this. you know how important this is to me."
you sighed, because you did. jenny had been a regular at the old renaissance faire every summer since she was little. you were about to be seniors in university, but this summer, jenny had insisted that you join her, some kind of last hurrah before you began to walk an intertwined path for what would likely be the last time.
and as much as you didn't really have any interest in jousting, or feudal society, or turkey legs, or whatever it was that people did at these things, you loved jenny enough to be grateful that she wanted to share her special place with you.
you didn't ask why she insisted on being a court jester ever year. maybe that was just her true form.
you walked over to where she sat in front of her mirror, put your hands on her shoulders. "and you're the hottest jester i've ever seen," you said, kissing her on the top of the head. "but i still can't breathe in this."
"that's the point," jenny replied, waving you off.
you had wanted to design your own costume, as costume design was quite literally your passion. you'd designed for every school play and musical since freshman year, wanted to pursue it further after college.
jenny had seemed so excited, though, and it was her day, so you let her take the reigns. the way this get-up fit you, though, the revealing upper-thigh slit, the abundance of cleavage you were sporting, the draping lacey skirts, it all had you hoping this specific faire had a strict no-men policy. you could practically already feel the weight of slimy stares on your exposed leg, the top of your chest. not to mention your face, but that was a bit of a constant, not just today.
you finished your hair and makeup, perfected the wench/heroine/damsel look. you knew yourself to be capable of all but shapeshifting, with your design and artistic abilities, but this old-timey seductress look was a spectacle, that was for sure.
jenny squealed when she saw the finished look. you cracked a smile at her ensemble, a straight-up court jester, down to the bells on her pointed hat, the face paint that matched the color scheme of her costume. "you look great," you told her.
"it's about letting my inner jest shine through," she said, "and that's why i dressed you up. so you have enough sex appeal for the two of us."
you were going to ask why there needed to be any sex appeal at all, but when you finally arrived at the sight of the faire, it became clear that that was simply part of the show.
you weren't even out of place in your revealing get-up, among all of the corsets and pants that looked like tights, not at all, although you had to give jenny credit. out of the many wenches and princesses and knights and pirates and such, your costume was especially lovely.
jenny linked her arm with yours as you passed under the tented entrance. it smelled like charcoal smoke and sugar, like wet leaves and musk.
"welcome to paradise," jenny said, a bright, genuine smile on her round face.
you couldn't help but smile, too. smile at this almost-hilarious display of the modern obsession with the past, of the unrelenting pursuit of entertainment, of the shared desire to be someone, somewhere, sometime else. this faire was just human, in a way that could be sort of somber, but in a way that you read as beautiful.
"where to first?" you asked your friend.
for hours, you let her lead you from place to place, from memory to memory.
"this is where my cousin, brett, bought his crush a leather-bound notebook," jenny said, while you perused a leather goods stand. she winced. "think she had a boyfriend, though."
you took pictures of her with different characters, let her take pictures of you with them, after. you smiled, big and cheesy, next to guys on stilts, jugglers, acrobats.
"you're gonna love this one," jenny said, pulling you into a barn that sold soaps and other handmade goods. you held a candle to your nose, inhaled, closed your eyes at the subtle combination of pine and something slightly floral.
you held it out to your friend. "try this one," you offered, picking up another one to test. you left the barn with two new candles and a hand soap for your apartment at school.
"we have to avoid archery," jenny whispered to you from behind a hand as you waited in line for giant pickles.
"why?" you asked, tilting your head at her serious expression.
"pretty sure my high school ex still runs it," she said, "and not the fun one."
you successfully avoided her ex, tried mead (honestly, how did people ever drink that), had your fortune told.
"my mom used to be the fortune teller at her local faire," jenny told you, a wistful sort of look in her eyes. "it's how she met my dad."
your heart flipped. you were a sucker for a meet-cute. "really?" you asked, "how romantic, jen. we have to do it."
jenny went first, the bell on her hat jingling with each movement. she walked away with a vague promise of new opportunities ahead and a new light to step into.
you smiled when she relayed this information to you, grabbed her hands excitedly. "a new light?" you said, "like a center-stage light? like a lead role?"
jenny's eyes widened. you'd met her freshman year in the theatre department, you a bit of a loner with a knack for a sewing machine and her a talkative actress with a beautiful singing voice.
still, after three years of productions, jenny had never had a lead role. she had a affinity for playing the side kick, the best friend, the assistant, the villain's love interest.
but no one had seen what she was capable of more than you, and you knew this year would be the year. you couldn't wait to watch her give the last bow on opening night, with you clapping from the wings.
now, jenny grinned at you. "this is the year, babe," she agreed. "now you!"
she gave you a gentle push towards the booth. the woman running it was probably somewhere between fifty and sixty. she had the face of a person who took advantage of sunny days, of someone who didn't deny herself simple pleasures, who had spent years laughing.
you felt at ease with her when she took your hand, ran her fingers along the ridges of your palm.
"rough hands, girly," she said, shooting you a lighthearted wink. "you workin' too hard, eh?"
you smiled. "just hard enough, ma'am," you told her, to which she patted your hand lightly in approval.
"you'll keep working," she told you, "but you'll find some new fun, too. sooner than you think."
you thanked her, bid her a good day. you never were one to put much stock into this kind of thing, but you'd take a little more fun any day.
when you told jenny what your fortune had been, she bumped her hip against yours. "hopefully that means a new guy," she mused.
you rolled your eyes. "don't need a guy for fun, do i?"
"'course not," she said, waving you off. "just know you, babe."
"you make it sound like i'm some depraved witch," you teased.
she laughed, pulled you by the arm to the big tent in the center of the faire. "c'mon," she said, "it's time for the joust!"
the joust was the main event of the day, you had known this coming in. it was fun, a spectacle of men on horses. you found yourself fascinated with the way they had dressed the horses up, the funny way all the actors were talking, so distracting that you barely noticed when the joust actually happened.
you still applauded and whistled along with jenny, listened to her tell a story about one joust in which the horse ran in the opposite direction, right out of the tent. you were holding your stomach in gentle laughter as you made to finish your day off at the tavern.
the sky began to melt from a blue to a burnt orange, the air hazy with heat. you could feel a day of standing in your thighs, a day of heeled boots in your calves. the makeup on your face had stayed put, but you could feel the weight of it like a halloween mask. your hair pulled at your scalp, a bit.
"hey, thanks for being such a good sport about this," jenny said as she brought you back a massive jug of beer, setting it down on the table with her own.
"what?" you said, scrunching up your face. "this is awesome, jen. thank you for inviting me."
she rolled her eyes at you, but her smile was obviously pleased. "i know it's corny, and kinda weird, but it's, i don't know." she trailed off, a misty sort of look in her eye.
you took her hand from across the table. you got what she meant. with senior year about to start, everything had a new, foreign sort of gravity to it, like it might never happen again. like you might miss it, if you didn't breathe all of it in. "i get it," you told her. "and where else am i gonna get to dress like this?"
she grinned at you as you took a sip from your jug.
"little jenny jester? is that you?"
you both turned to see an old, old man in magician's robes. jenny squealed. "magic jarod!" she said, before turning to you. "be right back," she whispered, "family friend."
"go 'head," you said, waving her on. you watched her approach the man, give him a big hug. you smiled. it was pretty cool, to know people at an event like this. to have people know you.
you sipped on your beer, quickly realized there was no way you were going to finish it. to pass the time, you people-watched, tried to guess people's relations to each other. you admired people's costumes, made mental notes of unique beading patterns or interesting pleats.
at some point, you were torn from your lulled observance by a polite cough. "is this, uh, where the plus-ones hang out?"
you turned your head to the side slightly to see the owner of that deep, pleasant voice. if you were the type to wolf-whistle, this would have been the time to do it.
something thrummed in your chest as you took in the man who stood in front of you, now. maybe it was the height, maybe the lean, working sort of bulk, maybe the soft-looking, just long enough hair. maybe it was the impossibly blue eyes that you could see even in the dim light of the tavern at dusk. maybe it was the careful, straight posture, the high cheekbones, cut jaw.
or maybe it was the fact that he was dressed in some sort of homemade prince outfit, a loose cream blouse, dark trousers, a dainty tiara-like crown atop his head.
he shifted back on his heels ever-so-slightly under your gaze, like it was something tangible, something that meant something.
in the misty, warm lighting of these low ceilings, among the dirty tables and scent of beer, he appeared deliciously out of place, like some fabled savior, some ancient temptation disguised as an angel.
you gave him a small smile, leaning into the table, just a bit. "did you also come with a jester?" you asked, teasing.
his mouth quirked, a beautiful flush blooming across his cheeks at the sound of your voice. he gave a shake of his head that shook the longer curls around his ears. "'m with the knight," he said, nodding to the person who was currently talking to a woman dressed as a pirate, who appeared very confused. to be fair, the person she was talking to was in full armor.
you gestured to the open spot across the table from you. "keep my friend's spot warm until she gets back?"
he stepped closer until he was just across from you. until you could see how long his lashes were, how big his eyes were, doe-like and boyish. how, ever since you'd first made eye contact with him, his gaze hadn't dipped to your chest even once. which was a feat, even jenny had gotten distracted a couple of times.
he made eye contact like a religion, like it was so, so significant. you took a sip of your beer. "what kind of prince are you?" you asked, leaning your heavy head on a palm.
he gave a low short of chuckle, and the sound was a rumble through your body, shook you up from the inside out. he clasped his broad hands in front of himself. "the boring kind," he said.
you shook your head, laughed. "okay, then, boring prince," you said. "what's your name?"
he licked his lips, and your eyes tracked the movement. your hands felt jittery. "joseph," he said, then asked for yours. you gave it. his kind eyes shimmered at this piece of you. "and what kind of princess are you, sweetheart?"
you laughed, bit your lip to stifle it, as you didn't want him to think you were making fun of him. but, really, in what world was this a princess costume? maybe in an adult film, but not here.
he didn't seem offended, though, just gave you a pouty look dripping with mirth. "what?" he said. you had a feeling he was rarely on the outside of an inside joke.
"it's just funny," you told him, feeling honest and open in the light of his polite gentleness. "that you think 'm dressed as a princess."
"oh, yeah?" he asked. his tiara shifted on his head. "what're you dressed as, then?"
something different wafted through the air between the two of you, something stronger than just the smell of grime and alcohol. something that felt sluggish, sparkly, seductive.
because even now, he didn't look away from your eyes. and that was, somehow, so much more intimate than some desperate once-over, one that would get caught on your chest, your thighs.
"how many princesses do you know who show this much skin?" you asked instead of answering his question. your voice had grown gravelly without your permission.
you had almost dared him to look away from your eyes, to take you in fully, in all of your corset-strapped glory.
but he didn't. which had you almost begging that he would.
"at least one," he said, a lopsided grin slanting across his face. "at least you."
"you know," you started, thought for a second. you sucked on your teeth, and his gaze flickered to your mouth for one single, almost undetectable second. a second that sparked a fire underneath you, had victory horns blaring in the distance. "you're pretty charming for a boring prince, joseph."
that pretty blush grew deeper, made his stark stature appear comfortable, warm. you wanted more of it. you wanted to know it deeply and personally.
when had you shifted so close together? the both of you leaning across the small table like it wasn't even there, breathing in the same air, sharing so politely.
you wanted to make his kind eyes simmer, make his blood run hot. you were close, you knew it, you could feel it in his exhales, in the slight tremor of his hands.
"don't think 'm the charmer between us, sweetheart," he said, low, a secret.
"we can share the title, if you want," you offered. "i'd share with you."
he hummed, shifted on his elbows, restless. "that's kind of you," he said. there was a roughness to his tone that flipped your heart in your chest, wrapped your legs up in coiling heat.
"what can i say?" you said, "you're a good influence on me."
there was a pause, during which you reached a hand up and gently adjusted his tiara so that it sat straight on his head again. you tried not to ruminate on how soft his hair was under your fingertips, pretended not to notice how his gaze draped over your face like a weighted blanket as you focused on the task.
when you withdrew your hand, he was staring at you. it felt like there was no one else in the room. "there," you said.
"straightened me out, did you?" he rasped, those doe eyes drowsy.
your mouth quirked up in a smirk. "oh, joey, i couldn't straighten you out," you said, tilting your head.
"no?" he asked, almost disappointed, not really. "what, sweetheart? 'd you be a bad influence on me?" he teased, twisting your words.
you knew you had him.
you knew you had him, so you forced aside any sensuality from your tone, your expression. "oh, fuck, i think my necklace is stuck in my hair," you said, clutching your hair, wincing like it hurt, watching concern flood his delicate features so gracefully. "know it's a lot to ask, joseph, but could you come to bathroom with me and untangle it, please?"
"of course," he said, practically before you could get it out, letting you take one of his wide, warm hands and tug him to the bathroom. once he was inside, just behind you, you locked the door, dropped your hair, both hands now free.
he appeared confused for a second. "your necklace?" he asked, but he trailed off as you placed a hand on his chest, felt the silken material of his shirt under your palm.
you peered up at him through your lashes, cocked your head. "'d you really fall for that, joey?" you asked, almost shocked.
his firm chest rose and fell under your hand, his exhales coming out shaky. "you're very persuasive," he mustered.
you hummed, relished in the heat that simmered between the two of you, full-bodied and palpable. "'m sorry i lied," you whispered, because you felt compelled to, because you had a feeling it mattered.
"'s okay," he breathed, immediate in his forgiveness, finally moving his hands from his sides to rest gently on your hips. this decision seemed to take a lot out of him, which made you smile. like his desire was heavy, like he just needed somewhere to put it down. like he wanted to touch you, so badly, but needed permission, needed someone to tell him how.
"can i be a bad influence on you for a second?" you asked him, leaned forward into his chest, "please?"
he nodded, leaned back against the door like holding his posture straight was suddenly too much to endure, let out some affirmative sound, halfway between a breath and a whimper.
you kept one hand on his chest, pressed him into the door, snaked your other hand into his hair and rooted it there. his grip on your hips tightened, now hard and strong, his own hips angling up slightly, involuntarily.
"can i kiss you?" you asked, suddenly soft, despite his sudden strength. because you had a feeling it mattered. that he mattered.
"please," he said, basically a whine, which had you fisting his shirt and tugging him down, his lips meeting yours in something like a fairytale, something heated and passionate and glutted with relief.
something heated, in the way you pulled at his hair, how his hand reached around you to pull you closer, right up against him.
something passionate, in the way your knees felt wobbly as swallowed down his sounds, swore you could feel his heartbeat under your palm.
something glutted with relief, in the way his tiara fell from his head entirely, only recognized by the dull clatter of plastic against wood, in the way neither of you pulled away, in the way it only gave you more access to him.
he tasted like mint and something slightly earthy, like peppermint candy and flaky sea salt. you much preferred this, you decided in a moment, to the taste of weed brownies and red bull that distinguished the kisses you had grown accustomed to, at school.
it was something like a fairytale, but not because it was perfect.
because it wasn't perfect, not at all. joseph was actually kind of a bad kisser, you realized. nothing crazy, nothing jarring, but the tell-tale signs of inexperience hung off of him like a too-big jacket.
moments of too-much teeth, unsure hands, a stiff neck, they made you smile against his mouth, because it was obvious he didn't let just anyone into his space like this.
so when his teeth would clash against yours, you'd simply nip at his bottom lip, playful, forgiving.
when his hands would still, uncertain, you'd just place a hand over where one of his rested, held it there, let him know you felt him, still, unwavering.
when his neck would stiffen, you'd rub at the knots with a knuckle, trace your nails over his hairline, feel a shiver erupt under your fingertips.
until he grew more comfortable in his motions, more brave in his want. desire flowed between you both like gasoline, sharp-scented and flammable. he let out an especially uninhibited groan when you brought your hand down to rest on his waistline, but the sound was engulfed by three swift knocks on the door.
"get outta there, guys," some authoritative voice called. "we're not that kind of establishment."
reluctantly, you pulled away from each other, chests heaving. the top of your chest glowed with warmth.
your prince looked delightfully disheveled. the top button of his shirt had slipped undone, his hair beautifully fussed, his cheeks ruddy, lips swollen, eyes glossy.
you knelt down, gently, picked up his plastic tiara, pushed up on your toes to place it on his head again. when you pulled back, there was something more dangerous than pure lust in his gaze.
as much fun as you knew you could have with him, and as much as you wanted to, you knew jenny would be looking for you, ready to go home. you knew joseph had his knight to attend to. knew this perfect moment that you had summoned was all but gone.
you knew the chances of seeing him again were very slim. the thought made your stomach drop, a bit. you exhaled all of your expectations, let them fall to the ground like sediment as you placed a hand on the doorknob.
he still hadn't said a word, almost in a daze. "you're going?" he asked, a husky rasp, and you could have pouted. it felt cruel, to be leaving behind such a pretty boy, one with such kind eyes.
you nodded slowly.
he just gave you a goofy sort of sad smile, tilted his crown to you like the brim of a hat. "until we meet again, trouble," he said, "you've been a lovely bad influence."
you smiled back at him, actually felt yourself blush. "and you've been a deviously good one," you said, "goodbye, joey."
and so you left him, walked away, but you could still feel his lips on yours, could feel the steadiness of his eye contact, the endearing uncertainty of his grip.
when the night ended, you had walked away from the dashing prince, the one you had pulled apart at the seams, but you knew you wouldn't forget him. your not-so-boring prince, who you couldn't even call a hookup, couldn't deem a fling, so you just knew him as your storybook kiss.
and you didn't forget him, even as the last summer days melted into early september, even as school started back up again, as classes came back into full-swing, as senior year and the countdown to graduation began.
you and jenny moved your things from your summer lease to your on-campus apartment, reunited with your friends who had been away for the summer, got all your classes and credits in order.
before you knew it, it was the first theatre department meeting, and you found yourself in the auditorium on a hot tuesday afternoon, slotting into a seat next to jenny and benji, the set designer who you had worked closely with during all your previous productions.
"good to see you, benj," you said, smiling at him.
he grinned, returned the sentiment, but tilted his head back in mock anguish. "another year of madness," he mused, "here we go again."
"our last go-around," you reminded him, elbowing him softly.
jenny made a noise, shook her head. "don't say that to me," she warned, "swear i'll start crying."
after welcoming everyone back, and building an adequate amount of suspense, the theatre director announced the fall play to be romeo and juliet.
"our department hasn't put it on since the eighties," the director exclaimed, "and i have the utmost belief that we will make it every bit the magical tragedy it is."
jenny was squeezing your hand so hard it hurt. juliet had been one of her dream roles since she was in middle school, since she had watched the movie with claire danes.
already, your head was spinning with visions of shakespearean headpieces, draping dresses, flowery imagery, blushy makeup.
beside you, benji groaned. "oh jesus," he lamented, "please, please, no castles."
you and jenny laughed. benji was one of the most talented artists you knew, and he always pulled it together before opening night, but he was a true procrastinator, tended to be a bit of a lazybones. the cast and crew loved him for it. what was an artist without a little bit of torture?
auditions were set for thursday morning, callbacks on friday, the final cast list to be posted on monday.
you didn't need to be present for any of the auditioning process, so, for the next few days, you enjoyed what you knew from experience to be your last moments of free time for the rest of the semester.
you went to office hours for your design professors, as you always did at the beginning of classes, just to introduce yourself, get yourself properly situated for academic success.
after jenny's audition on thursday, you went out, celebrated what she assured you was an astounding monologue delivery. between salted rims and blue-colored cocktails, jenny flipped her phone screen your way to show you the email that confirmed her callback tomorrow.
you squealed, shook her by the shoulders, pure excitement flowing through you. this was the year, you knew it. this was it.
nothing out of the ordinary, you let one of your friends set you up with some guy on saturday night. he was cute enough, kind of scummy, but, up until recently, he would have been exactly your type. you'd been known to go for the guys who looked like they'd been around the block, a little fratty, a little jocky. this guy, across from you, fit the bill, you could give him that.
all throughout college, you hadn't been the type to judge too harshly if a guy was a little too glued to his phone over dinner, if he had the distinct posture of someone who grew up with money, if he spoke shortly to wait staff.
for some reason, though, tonight, you felt itchy at the fact that he had a tough time looking you in the eye for more than a few seconds, felt a practically motherly concern at the way his fingers twitched towards his phone if he went more than a few minutes without looking at it.
for some reason, tonight, more so than nights before, the memory of a certain stiff-spined prince, blushing pink and thinking you were a princess, even dressed your sluttiest, danced across your mind like a waltz.
you sort of hated how his memory had kind of ruined what, a few months ago, would have been a satisfying hook-up, resented how someone you were never going to see again was dictating, to any degree, who you would go home with, but, regardless, you gave this guy across from you a terrible excuse for your need to leave, set a fiver on the table to cover your drink, hurried out the door and home.
jenny was sprawled out on her bed when you opened the door, watching some trashy reality dating show for the millionth time.
"watching it again isn't gonna make kaitlyn make the right choice," you reminded her as you set your bag down, recognizing the season from a single line of dialogue.
jenny groaned. "i can dream," she said, then fixed her eyes on you. "you look hot," she observed, "what are you doing here?"
you smiled as you began to take your makeup off. "went out with that guy chase set me up with," you explained, then sighed.
"what, did he lose his eyeballs on the way to the bar?"
you laughed, shook your head at jenny's characteristically odd wording. "nope," you said, "eyeballs intact. i just wasn't into it, i guess."
"fair enough," jenny agreed.
"it was so weird, though," you continued, "like, he was exactly what i usually go for."
"so he was a grimy slacker with a good face who has a concerning obsession with his mom?"
you gasped, feigned offense. "how dare you?" you asked, to which she giggled. "that was only twice!"
jenny rubbed at her neck. "for real though," she pushed, "what do you think is different?"
you bit your lip, thought for a moment, looked down at the cotton pad in your hand, now smudged with clumps of mascara and smears of blush. you swallowed. for some reason the sight made you slightly nauseous, some reminder of guilt or dirtiness or low self-esteem, or something like that, something you didn't really want to get into.
"you remember when you took me to the faire?" you said, still not looking at jenny.
"'course."
you exhaled. "well, when you were talking to that magician guy, i met this guy-"
jenny bolted upright from her horizontal position. "wait," she cut you off, excitement making her tone vibrate. "you mean to tell me that you met a guy at my faire, and i'm just hearing about it now?"
"sorry," you conceded, looking up to meet her eye.
"don't be," she waved you off, hugged her pillow to her chest. "i knew your costume would work!"
you rolled your eyes at her, pulled one of your knees up to your chest.
"so?" she asked, urging you on with her eyes. "tell me about him."
"he was just so fucking polite," you told her. "and so pretty. and when i made out with him in the bathroom it was like he didn't know how to kiss me, but he wanted to be good at it. so bad. like he was almost embarrassed about it." you sighed. "i don't even know why 'm still thinking about him," you told her, and it was true, sort of.
"i do," jenny told you, cracked a smile when you shot her a look. "i know everything."
"enlighten me, all-knowing jester," you said, gesturing for her to elaborate.
"you always take the scumbags, babe," she told you, "and they're fun, sure, but now you've had a taste of the teacher's pet, mom's favorite, goes to church on sunday. once you go 'good guy,' you never go back."
"i don't know," you said, skeptical, "i feel like i'm putting too much stock into this. feel like he probably doesn't even remember me."
jenny blew out a breath. "yeah right," she said, "let me tell you something."
"please."
"as much as you're feeling hooked on the good guy, right now," she said, "i can guarantee he's plagued at night by his glimpse of the dark side."
you hummed, smiled. "and i'm the dark side, in this scenario?"
"babe," jenny said, "you're not a 'bad person,' but you're a 'bad girl.'"
you pouted, but you knew what she meant. knew that you were kind, a good listener, a good friend, that you were trustworthy and patient and generous, but also that you weren't above the simple pleasures. that you weren't one to turn down a free drink, were always down to get your hands (and reputation) a little dirty, and until recently, that you were a one-night-stand frequent.
you also knew that people liked to label you as the bad girl simply because of the way you looked, the way you flirted, the way you dressed.
"whatever," you said, shrugging, acting like it didn't matter, wanting to change the subject, knowing just how to do it. "monday's the big day, right?"
jenny gushed about her callback, how that juliet role was practically hers, how she didn't want to jinx it. you told her the truth, that you couldn't imagine anyone else for the role, that they'd have to be stupid not to cast her.
and they proved to be not stupid, monday morning, when the cast list was emailed out to the department. on you way between classes, you received a face-time call from jenny before you even finished reading the full list.
"we did it!" jenny screamed as her jubilant face filled up your screen.
you couldn't help but let your face split into a grin at her excitement. "i told you," you said, "i told you! this is your year, jen. you deserve this so much." you almost felt misty-eyed. "'m so proud of you."
she looked like she actually was crying, now. "stop, babe, or you're gonna get me going," she warned. "fuck, i can't believe it. a lead role! i can't wait to wear your designs center stage!"
"i can't wait, too," you said, and you meant it.
"i know you have class, i'll let you go," she said, "see you at the meeting at four. okay, bye." she gave one last look. "our year!" she squealed as she hung up, leaving you laughing as you walked into class.
finally, it was time for the all-department meeting, your last commitment of the day, when everyone involved in the production met, now that you all knew the cast, from the leads to the directors to the stage managers to the last freshman painting sets under benji's direction.
"morrison's a night. mare," was the first thing that benji said to you as you slid into the seat next to him.
you hummed. "who's morrison?"
"one of my freshman," he explained. "his girlfriend's in the cast, said he wants to 'keep an eye on her,' whatever that means."
you scrunched up your nose. "gross," you said.
"and he sucks at everything," benji said. "'m half tempted to tell him to just stand in the corner and not touch anything."
you laughed as the director clapped his hands on the stage to get everyone's attention, launched into the typical congratulations speech. you felt jenny sit to your right with a deep breath.
"little late, eh, jen?" benji whispered.
"can it, benny," she replied, to which benji scowled. he hated when she called him that.
"and now, we'll do a full introduction," the director was saying, "from the back of the house all the way to the front. i can not emphasize enough how important it is that we, here in the theatre, trust and love everyone around us."
"i love you so much," you whispered to benji, who smirked.
"'m not interested, babe, but so flattered," was his response.
"why don't we start with our leads? jennifer and carlos, please stand and introduce yourselves."
"yeah, jennifer," you whispered, giggling into your hand. benji shook next to you.
jenny smacked you on the shoulder as carlos went. your production's romeo was a senior, too, had been in the department as long as you and your friends. you were a little surprised he had gotten the role, if you were honest, had always thought his acted grief came across as a bit shallow.
then jenny went, standing up, waving to everyone. when she was done with her introduction, no one clapped louder than you and benji, even whistling, a sound that echoed through the space.
the rest of the cast went, then all the directors and behind the scenes people. eventually, benji and his team went, followed by the costume crew.
"hi, everyone," you said, standing up, giving them all your name. "i'm the head costumer designer, and i can't wait to help all of you look like the best versions of yourselves and characters." you had used that line since sophomore year.
more people followed, eventually even the ushers went, followed by the orchestra and band.
you were friends with some of the music kids, so you tried to pay closer attention.
"'sup guys, 'm matt, on percussion," a stocky guy said, then gestured to the guy next to him. you laughed when you heard him grunt, "go, dude."
"yeah, i'm bobby," his friend, the blonde one, said, giving an awkward wave, "i, uh, play guitar."
"jesus, how does he look hotter than last spring?" benji said, putting his head in his hands, referring to the crush he had harbored on the department's guitarist for two years. you rubbed his shoulder in comfort, but a voice you recognized made your gaze snap back.
"hello, everyone, my name is joseph, i'm your new pianist, and i'm so excited to get to know you all."
the next person went to speak, but you just blinked, swallowed your disbelief down like a too-big pill.
it couldn't be him, but it was. there stood your boring prince, in a button down and khakis, this time, no tiara to be found. it made you wonder if he still had it, somewhere, maybe his bedroom, if his gaze would catch on it sometimes and he would think of you. if it would make him blush.
there he stood, hair just a bit longer, but the rest all the same as the dream boy who lived in your memory. so pretty, his words so naturally kind, you barely even noticed that he mentioned he would be the pianist for the production, too distracted by the fact that he was here, in front of you, right now.
hands on your waist, his soft groans muffled against your lips, wide doe eyes looking at you like he couldn't bear to look away, it all flashed across your mind, made you stiffen, your exhale come out short.
"you okay?" jenny whispered to you.
"that's him," you said.
"who?" her brow was furrowed, confused.
"that's him," you repeated. "the guy from the faire."
benji turned to you. "no way you let her drag you to that geek fest," he said, but you both ignored him, jenny's eyes going wide.
"that's your good guy?" she clarified. "the piano man is the bad kisser?"
"lower your voice," you warned, your voice low, serious.
benji leaned in. "you kissed bambi, over there?"
"yes, benny, keep up," jenny said, barely sparing him a look. "babe, you need to talk to him. this is fate." she snapped her fingers. "this is literally what the fortune teller was talking about, work and fun and all that."
you bit your lip, looked towards joseph again. your heart stuttered in your chest when you found him to be already looking at you. his lips quirked up in a shy smile as his fingers fluttered in a gentle wave.
you let a smile drape across your face at his recognition, his cordiality, then winked at him.
he looked at his feet, shifted lightly on his feet. you swore you could see his nervous blush from here. it made you feel like you were coated in glitter.
finally, the meeting ended with the promise of an email containing a review of all the information discussed. as everyone stood up and made for the exits, jenny gently shoved towards the front, where joseph was talking with his friends. she grabbed the elbow of benji and walked in the other direction as he muttered something about always being the last to know things.
you walked down the auditorium aisle, joseph's eyes lifting to meet yours as you got close. his smile grew boyish and bashful as he registered your approach, stepped out of his lean against the stage, brushed his palms against his pants.
there was a pause that you noted, because what exactly could you say, here? what exactly could you do?
could you say hey, matt and bobby, i don't know how you know joseph, but i made out with him in the bathroom of a ren faire tavern and haven't stopped thinking about him since?
probably not.
instead, you just smiled, asked matt and bobby how their summers were. they had been in the theatre band since sophomore year, so you were familiar with them, at least enough to know what place matt was talking about when he mentioned his vacation home and who bobby was referring to when he mentioned his buddies on the team (the both of them were on the club hockey team at school).
matt clapped a heavy hand on joseph's shoulder. "woller's on the team with us," he explained, "convinced him to fill the piano void we had after the seniors graduated."
you hummed, turned your gaze back to joseph, relished in the endearing awkwardness you found. "joey and i have met, actually," you said.
bobby shrugged. "you go to the same school, not all that surprising."
it was sort of funny, now that you thought of it, that in three years, you hadn't crossed paths with joseph one time. not once did he catch your attention in the dining hall, not once did he drop a pen in your vicinity during a lecture, never did he accidentally bump into you between classes.
you'd gone three years without seeing those blue eyes, and since that chance encounter, you hadn't stopped thinking about them.
matt seemed to be more perceptive than bobby, though, giving a slight nod in understanding. "we'll leave you to catch up, then," he said, grabbing his backpack, tossing bobby his. "see you 'round, guys."
then the auditorium was empty, except for you and joseph. like a universe that existed only for the two of you. the high ceilings seemed barely suitable to fit the mass of emotion you felt.
you kept a safe step's distance. "hi, joey," you said, softer than you meant.
his eyes shimmered at your voice, at the nickname. "hi, trouble," he said, in that tone that felt like winter sunlight, "how are you?"
of course he would ask that, hands shoved into his pockets, of course he would ask that and really mean it, really care.
"'m good," you said. "really good, now. didn't know 'f i'd see you again."
he hummed, and it felt like power, to know that you both were thinking about the last time, to know for certain he was thinking of you, pushing him up against a door.
"how are you?" you reciprocated, leaning back on your heels.
he thought for a moment, the pause fat with nostalgia, ripe with promise. "pretty nervous, if 'm honest," he told you, looked down.
you couldn't hide your delight. "like you honest," you told him, and his blush deepened. he wanted to meet your gaze, so badly, you could tell, but it was almost like he didn't trust himself to, like he might get caught there forever.
he gave a breathy sort of laugh. it made your head spin.
you stepped closer to him, which tore his eyes up to yours. his chest heaved in what might have been a relieved sigh. "do your friends know?" you asked, and your voice had grown husky, softer, only for him.
he shook his head, his eyes welling up with genuine truth, like he would never. "no," he said.
"really?" you asked, cocked your head. "don't kiss and tell, joey?"
his ears bloomed pink, like the word kiss was some kind of curse, like all of it was too much to hear aloud. it had you almost regretting saying it. almost.
when he spoke, his voice cracked, slightly. "no, uh, can't say i do, sweetheart." he said.
you gave him a smile that curled with smokiness. "did you just wanna keep it to yourself, then?" you asked, let your gaze grow hooded. "maybe keep me to yourself?"
his breathing was heavier, and he was so close, and all you wanted to do was kiss him again, knead your knuckles into that stiff neck, feel him against you, but you didn't.
you didn't and then he spoke again. it was breathy, wavering. "think, maybe, uh, we should," he started, "think we should just be, uh, friends, sweetheart."
and you could have been disappointed, offended, even, but you weren't. you just took a small step back, smiled at him gently. let his words settle. "do you, joey?"
he gave a slight nod. "yeah, um, just 'cause of the show, and we'll be working closely, and such," he said. "for the sake of the show." something permissive and almost regretful, something practically compunctious flooded his bright, blue eyes, the way oil sullies a warm ocean gulf.
"thank god we have a pianist so dedicated to the production, then," you said, eyes wide, watched him blush further. "we should probably exchange numbers, then," you continued, "so we can do things that friends do."
he cleared his throat, nodded, entered his information into the phone you offered him. "it'll be good," he said, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than you.
"it'll be so, so good," you amended, retreating, now walking towards the exit. "i promise, joey, 'll make it so good, for you."
for the second time, you left him, blushing, disheveled, this time with much more hope in your heart.
"so, did you talk to him?" jenny asked you over lunch the next day.
"and can you get him to talk to bobby about me?" benji asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.
"yes, and no," you said, making benji pout.
jenny stamped her feet under the table in fast succession. "so, what did you say? what did he say?"
you shrugged. "he said we should be just friends." it even sounded funny coming out of your mouth.
benji winced. "ouch," he said, blowing out a breath.
"i don't get it," jenny said, appearing genuinely confused.
"said it was for the good of the production, or something," you said.
"what a load of bullshit," jenny said, now almost angry.
you shrugged again.
"why aren't you upset?" benji asked, skeptical. "in all the time i've known you, you haven't been friendzoned once. it can't feel good to be slummin' it with the rest of us."
you laughed. "i'm not upset because i know he doesn't want to be friends, he just thinks it's the right thing to do."
"what's the difference?" jenny said, "regardless, he set his terms."
"and i'll be respectful of them," you said, and you meant it. you were not one to break hard-set boundaries, to act in a forceful or disrespectful way. "i'm a great friend."
benji narrowed his eyes. "so, you're just gonna be totally platonic with this guy?"
you nodded, leaned back in your seat.
"just friends with the only guy i've ever seen you think twice about?" jenny clarified.
"exactly," you reiterated. "just friends, nothing more." your mouth quirked. "until he inevitably decides otherwise."
benji rolled his eyes. "of course," he said, almost bitter. "the elusive long game."
"won't be that long," you corrected.
"how can you be so sure?"
you smiled at the memory. "his eyes," you said, honestly, almost guiltily. "bit of a dead giveaway."
joseph had declared you just friends, so that's what you would be, for the time being. you trusted he would come to his own conclusions as time passed, so you figured there really wasn't any reason to rush things. there were much worse things than being friends with a very kind person.
so you texted him the next morning, sent him a hey :) it's your favorite new friend, followed by your name, followed by a what're you doing later?
and of course he was a prompt responder, getting back to you in a matter of minutes. a Good Morning, Sweetheart, followed by a We have practice until 6:30, but I'm free after that. What did you have in mind?
his texts read a bit awkward and stiff, in all of their grammatical correctness, but it made you sigh, because what was he, if not a little awkward and stiff?
wanna study at my place? you sent, followed by i could walk you back from practice.
I'd like that. was his response, followed by Just to clarify, you mean actually study, right? That wasn't an innuendo?
now he had you smiling at your phone. get your head outta the gutter joey you texted, followed by just to study, followed by pinkie promise.
you could picture his blush as if you wear standing in front of him.
See you at 6:30, Trouble, was his last response.
you sort of thought it was funny that he called you that, and maybe it should have been a little offensive, because maybe you were tired of being associated with that kind of negativity. maybe you were tired of coming with a warning label, tired of feeling like all anyone saw when they looked at you was a pretty face wrapped up in red flags.
what was funnier, you supposed, was that you didn't mind it when he called you that. you didn't mind it because there was something you liked about being trouble to him, in particular. you liked being his sweetheart, probably more than you would admit to yourself, but there was something addictive about being important enough, singular enough, powerful enough to be deemed trouble by a person like him.
a person who just oozed with goodness, with righteousness, without any of the arrogance so typically marring the quality, a person whose smile leaked sunshine, who was distinct in their genuineness, whose honesty and kindness you swore you could taste, the way marshmallow fluff sticks to your teeth, grainy and sweet.
maybe you didn't love being trouble, but perhaps you didn't mind being his trouble.
that was the sentiment at the forefront of your mind as you entered the ice rink that the club team practiced at, a few minutes early, let the chillier air cool your face.
the last of the team was on the ice, just a few bodies picking up pucks and cones. you scanned the ice, didn't spot his distinct profile, so you just took a seat in the bleachers, enjoyed the rare moment of quiet, breathing in and out.
a quiet thudding noise drew your attention to the glass, where matt and bobby were waving you down. you hopped down from the bleachers while bobby opened the door to the ice, which made a heavy clanging sound.
"hey, guys," you said, now standing in front of them.
"you missed the fun part," bobby said. you had to crane your neck to look at them. they were taller in skates, a little more intimidating in full hockey pads than when they were goofing off in the pit of the theatre.
you laughed good-naturedly. "not here to watch you trick pucks off the crossbar," you said.
matt laughed. "why are you here, then?" he said.
you didn't quite answer, sucked on your teeth for a second. "where's joey?" you asked, instead.
bobby rolled his eyes.
matt just nodded towards the other end of the ice. "i'll tell him you're here," he said, skated away.
your eyes followed him, then widened. "he's a goalie?" you asked bobby. you tracked the big number sixty on the back of the jersey, the slow, deliberate skating motions, the posture you recognized.
"yeah, why?" bobby asked.
"i don't know," you said, "forgot that was even a position."
"it's the position for freaks," he clarified, leaning against the boards.
you scrunched up your face. but, you supposed, you had never met anyone quite like joseph. perhaps that made him a freak, to some degree.
matt skated back over and told bobby they had to get off the ice for the zamboni, telling you that joseph said he'd meet you by the exit.
you hadn't been waiting for five minutes before the three of them emerged from the locker room, holding water bottles and backpacks. your eyes, however, snagged on joseph like a thread on a nail, didn't leave. he looked too pretty like this, damp hair curling at the ends, face flushed with exertion and cold, his body visibly tired but also more relaxed than you'd seen him.
your throat went dry when he smiled at you. "hey, sweetheart," he said, easy.
"hi," you responded, clasped your hands behind your back, scared, if left to their own devices, they'd reach up and push that rogue curl from his forehead.
"where're you guys headed?" matt asked you as you pushed the doors open into the dusky night.
"mine," you said, not thinking anything of it, because it was the truth, because there was nothing to be embarrassed about.
then you saw the blush that tinted joseph's nose, dainty, but there. maybe it had sounded a little suggestive, but you had nothing to apologize for, and his reaction sort of hurt your feelings, for some reason.
you both said goodbye to matt and bobby, who were headed off to the dining hall, and continued on the walk to your apartment. "are you embarrassed?" you asked, not harshly, just truthfully. because it mattered.
it mattered if he thought you were the kind of person it was embarrassing to go home with. it mattered if he thought there was some kind of reputation with you that would become his through association.
it mattered if he thought you were an embarrassing kind of trouble, instead of a beautiful kind.
he didn't answer for a second, exhaled, and you squinted. "are you embarrassed of me?" you amended.
his gaze shot to yours, eyes flooded with concern, genuine worry. "what? no," he promised, "no, sweetheart, of course not of you."
and this made you feel better, a little. "what of, then?" you asked, in step besides his large frame.
a pause settled in the space between his hip and your waist, side by side, stride by stride.
he ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek. "it's just that," he started, took a breath, then started again. "i know it must seem weird to you, how flustered i get." you wanted to cut him off, correct him, but mostly you wanted him to continue. "'m not as comfortable as you, as confident."
"it's not weird," you promised, "i like how flustered you get. i like your blush." your fingers twitched. "i can try to dial it back, if it'd make you feel better. i can try to be, i don't know, less-"
he did cut you off, then. "no," he said, his voice breaking, only a bit. "don't, uh, change." he cleared his throat, squeezed his plastic water bottle, making it crinkle. "please."
you stared at the side of his face, for a second, any words dying in your throat. "really? aren't you scared 'll bring you over to the dark side, joey?" you said it like a joke, but it wasn't, not really. "aren't you scared i'll turn you bad?"
he looked at you, then, big blue eyes drunk with truth. "'m not scared of you, trouble," was all he said, and that was that.
you showed him up to your apartment, gave him a short tour.
"where do you usually do homework?" he asked, gentle.
"bedroom floor," you said, almost sheepish. "floor's the best place for critical thinking."
he laughed, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder. "lead the way, then," he said.
so you sat with him, on the floor of your bedroom, for a couple hours, until the night made time feel viscous and thick, until your throat was rough from lack of use, until your eyelids felt heavy.
hours of you, doing physics problem sets, and him, finishing history readings. hours of work that were made comfortable, sleepy, by the shared presence of each other, of exhales and warmth and shifting limbs.
hours of work cut with questions about his day, about your classes, about him playing the piano, about your friendship with jenny, about his with bobby and matt, about your mom and his siblings and your design dreams and his uncertain ones.
before long it was past midnight, and you felt your eyes lingering too long on his full mouth, and his gaze felt too honey-sweet on your face. before long, it was time for him to go, before the late hour made you want to see just how far you could push just friends.
out of respect, though, and because you cared about him, at some point, you cleared your throat.
"i should probably go to sleep, soon," you said, a rasp to your voice.
he made to grab his things, pushed his massive body up from your floor. "me too," he said. "'s getting late."
he swung his backpack onto his shoulder and you walked him to the door. he opened it, turned back around, leaned against the frame, facing you.
he looked down at you, and your heart surged, your mind clouded with deja vu. "do you still have your tiara?" you asked, nodding up to his head.
his lips split into a smile as he gave a rough, low laugh. "yeah, sweetheart," he said, his eyes growing foggy with memory. "that's, uh, a keeper."
and it probably wasn't how he meant it, but it almost felt like he was saying you were a keeper, and no one had ever thought that before. you squeezed your hand into a fist. "remember when you said you were a boring prince?"
he nodded.
it took every inch of your discipline not to touch him, hug him, tug him down by his shirt and kiss him dumb. "you're not boring, joey," you said.
he swallowed, his eyes welling up with meaning. "how can you be so sure?" he asked, soft.
"you can't be," you explained, "or i would've been able to stop thinking about you."
his hooded gaze caught on your lips, and it would have been so easy to push up on your toes, slot your mouth against his, but you didn't.
his simmering eyes met yours again. "goodnight, sweetheart," he breathed.
"goodnight," you said, your smile fluttery, shutting the door gently behind him.
and so began the most confusing friendship of your life.
the semester progressed quickly, the pace constantly being pushed by your busy schedule. your days seemed to pass in a blink, filled by classes and exams and rehearsals and theatre commitments, fittings and design meetings and movie nights with jenny, lunches with benji.
jenny's juliet grew more and more compelling, benji grew more and more annoyed with his set crew.
the more time passed, the more frequently you were making plans with joseph, until he just became a part of your schedule. two days a week, you would study at your place, a different two days, you would go to his, instead.
he lived with some guys from the team, so the kitchen was a bit messy, and the decor was seriously lacking, but his room was spotlessly clean, actually sort of comfortable, so you didn't mind. he had a desk, but you had convinced him of the magic of the floor, so the floors of your respective bedrooms had become something of a safe place, a tall, tall tower, away from everything else, away from reality.
you came to find that there was absolutely nothing more comfortable than the warm silence that settled between the two of you like a glittery fog when you'd both get into a working groove, perhaps not talking for stretches of time, but the presence of each other easy enough to fall asleep in.
here and there, one of you would slice through the silence like a warm knife through salted butter, asking about something that had happened that morning, or practice, or rehearsal, or something.
he'd ask how your exam went, and his gaze would melt a bit when you'd gush about how you knew you nailed it.
"that's great, sweetheart," he'd say, his posture more relaxed in the nighttime drowsiness. "'m so proud of you."
maybe you'd ask how the game last weekend went, and his nose would twitch, just a bit.
he'd shrug, and the muscles in his neck would clench, and you'd want nothing more than to ease the tension there with your fingers. "fine," he'd say. "could've been better."
and you'd roll your eyes. "you always think you could've been better," you'd say, and it would be true. you had come to understand that he was a real perfectionist when it came to hockey.
he'd smile, lopsided, and your stomach would flip. "'cause i always could be," he'd say, and it would make you frown.
"i don't know," you'd say, the words coming out slow, like molten chocolate. you'd meet his lazy gaze. "don't think it gets much better than you."
nights of studying and walking him back from practice, days during which, when you were lucky, you could sneak a coffee break with him, began to feel normal, but not in the sense that you didn't feel especially grateful every time you saw him. you couldn't imagine an instance that his eyes wouldn't make your knees wobble, that his voice wouldn't make your heart jolt, a time when making him blush wouldn't feel like a triumph, when making him laugh wouldn't pull the most genuine smile from your own mouth.
you felt as if he'd been an abrupt reset to your whole system, ever since that dusky summer kiss against a door, like a startling ice bath to your entire being. for him, though, you didn't imagine your presence to be as shocking, instead more gradual, like your attention, your thinly-veiled attraction was like ivy, slowly overtaking an old brick building.
miraculously, for weeks and weeks, you kept your hands to yourself. sure, there was the occasional hug goodbye, which typically left you speechless, the more frequent touch of a hand here and there, over a glass of water or across a spread of notebooks. once, and only once, there was a firm arm around your waist, the time when you slipped while walking next to him, his quick reflexes meaning his arm shot out to wrap around you, pulling you back upright in a single motion.
you tried your best not to lean into his embrace, mentally applauded yourself for a job well done. "thanks for that," you said, clearing your throat.
he didn't let go of you immediately though, his hand lingering on your waist for a split second, his gaze shadowy, like in a trance.
"joey," you said, and it came out like a plea, because he couldn't touch you, not like this. it wasn't fair, and you were being so good. "don't do this to me."
that snapped him out of his daze, as he gently retracted his arm, settled it unnaturally next to his side, like he wasn't quite sure what to do with it, now that his palm had laid flat against your hip. what do you do with something sacred? "sorry, sweetheart," he said, and his voice was rough.
for the first time, though, you realized, with narrowing eyes, you got the sense that he was lying to you. that he wasn't actually sorry, not at all.
then there was the time that he showed up at your place unannounced, on a day when you hadn't made plans. "coming," you'd yelled out in response to a knock, fresh out of the shower, only a towel wrapped around you. you opened the door, almost yelped when you saw him in the frame, looking straight out of a fairytale with his hair in his face.
of course, he blushed, looked down when he registered your appearance, clicked his tongue as you held your towel tighter around you. "d'you, uh," he said, "do you always answer the door like this?"
you could have laughed at his gentle humor, despite him being so obviously flustered. "only for you, joey," you said, winking at him, making him go red, which made your smile grow as you swung the door open wider, wordlessly inviting him inside. "kidding. one sec, let me get dressed."
eventually, matt and bobby got used to your presence in their kitchen, in the bleachers of the rink. you met their fourth roommate, a tall, lanky defenseman you mistakenly called simon the first time you met him.
"not si-mon," he corrected, "si-mone."
"like the girl's name," bobby said, trying to help, to which simon whacked him on the back of the head.
"aren't athletes supposed to eat healthy?" you asked one time, when you were steeping one of the tea bags you had begun to keep at joseph's place, just for convenience's sake. you had walked in on matt, bobby, and simon making ice cream sundaes.
matt just waved you off. "it's different for club," he said.
bobby scowled. "last i checked, you don't pay rent here," he said, "no rent, no opinion."
"yeah," simon said, his accent slight as he put the ice cream carton back into the freezer. "why don't you go back to your own house?"
"because i'm studying," you said, to which you were on the receiving end of a chorus of groans.
"swear you guys are practically married," matt said. "remember when i walked in on you putting that gray shit on his face?"
you rolled your eyes. "that was a face mask, and it's good for your pores."
"he has you over here more in a week than my girl has been here in a month," simon continued.
you scoffed. "maybe you should fix that, then," you told him. "nothing to do with me. me and your roommate are just-"
"don't finish that sentence," bobby said, "for my sanity, don't do it."
"what's going on out here?" came that deep voice from behind you.
"nothing," simon said, "your girl called us athletes, though."
simon's wording had you almost sad, about to correct him, but something in you stopped. because was it really all that much of a lie? joseph didn't correct him, either, which had to count for something. had to mean something.
"bein' nice, trouble?" joseph asked, a lazy smile on his face.
"you know me," you said, to which his eyes shimmered. because he did, because it was true.
you could almost hear bobby's eye roll. "we'll see you at rehearsal tomorrow," he said on his way back to his room.
as opening night grew impossibly close, your path began to cross with joseph's more in the theatre, too.
as you'd get final measurements in, make some last minute adjustments to skirt lengths and blouse widths, you'd hear that telltale melody from the pit, so smooth it'd put a smile on your face.
once, you were doing a final check of jenny's costume, the last one she would wear before curtain close, and the music began.
jenny's grin grew teasing. "such a sap, now," she said.
"don't," you warned, "i'm the one with all the pins."
she put her hands up in surrender. "not a bad thing," she said, "it's really cute, actually. just can't believe you've lasted this long."
you sighed. "that makes the two of us."
benji popped in from the wing. "so proud of you," he said, "but one of you needs to do something. it's actually painful."
it was sort of crazy, you realized, to be anything but completely grateful and satisfied with being one of joseph's closest friends. it was a privilege, you knew that. it just kind of made you wish you'd never kissed him in the first place, that you didn't know what he felt like, sounded like, tasted like. you could be so completely content if you didn't know that.
"dude, you sound like a dying cat." you recognized matt's voice, assumed he was talking to bobby. "opening night's in two days."
you could picture bobby's disinterested shrug.
benji took this opportunity to walk all the way out onto the stage, clear his throat. "i think you sound great, bobby," he said.
there was a pause. "uh, thanks, man," was the short reply. "what was your name again?"
you winced. jenny shuttered. "brutal," she whispered.
"bob, you know benji," joseph said from the piano bench, ever the polite diplomat. "he paints all the sets."
bobby looked around, took in the castles and gardens that benji had worked so hard on. "you did these?" he asked. benji nodded. "pretty sick, dude," he said, impressed.
jenny put a hand over her heart. "oh, benji, you're so talented and handsome," she said, loudly, drawing everyone's attention.
benji rolled his eyes. "oh, fuck off, jen."
you caught joseph's gaze across the space, him at the piano, you bent down, fussing with jenny's hem.
hi, he mouthed, and your heart stirred.
hi, you mouthed back.
because of the packed and overlapping theatre schedule, you became closely acquainted with the way joseph played the piano, nothing like matt's violent percussion or bobby's novice-at-best guitar abilities. he played with a gentle intensity, a passionate perfectionism, which you supposed was just the way that he was.
you swore you could watch him get caught up in the notes, could follow the deft movements of his hands for hours and not get bored, because he wouldn't get bored.
finally, it was the day before opening night, and after completing the whole last minute checklist as well as all the department's traditions and superstitions, you went back to your workspace for just a second to triple check everything. you wanted everything to go smoothly tomorrow, no surprises. a few minutes into your last checks, though, there was a soft knock on your open door.
you looked up to find a tired pair of big blue eyes. "what're you doing here?" you asked, gentle. "look like you're about to fall asleep, joey."
he shook his head. "wide awake," he said, and he sounded it. "know it's a late night, but it's still thursday. i understand if you wanted to skip tonight, but-"
you waved him off, lugged your bag onto your shoulder. "yeah, right," you said. "not gettin' rid of me that easy."
he smiled, held the door open for you as you passed him, as you both began the walk to his place. the air was chilly, refreshing, but you shivered, nonetheless.
"cold?" he asked, and you nodded, to which he started to unbutton his shirt.
"what're you doing?" you said, and you couldn't help the shocked sort of tone your voice had taken on.
he gave a light laugh, handed you his button down, revealing a t-shirt underneath. he looked at you, almost guiltily, eyes a bit dark, as you shrugged your bag off, put his shirt on, then your backpack. "'m always prepared," he said.
"thank you," you said, and it looked like the words warmed him from the inside out. you figured, maybe, you'd push your luck. "god forbid you show a little skin."
the silence rumbled. it was dark, but it was as if you could feel the heat of his blush, felt it on your own face like a creamy foundation. "easy, trouble," he said, and it was quiet, hoarse.
soon enough he was holding the door of his apartment open, as he had so many times before, then he was leading you into his bedroom, but it felt so different, for some reason, so much heavier, harder, more heated.
you took your spot on the floor, spread out your notes, planning to get a little bit of studying done, as you knew you wouldn't finish any schoolwork tomorrow, with all the running around you were going to be doing. he took his spot across from you, maybe a little bit closer, which you pretended not to notice.
time passed as it usually did, in this situation, at this hour, in his company.
but then you'd catch him looking at you, feel it like a blistering singe, would look up to meet his gaze, only to find it back down on his homework, like the movement of your head was enough to scare him back into routine.
and then it happened again, and he wasn't even looking at your face, this time, he was staring at your middle, your body, which he never did, and you wanted to throw something at him, tell him to stop, please, because you couldn't handle it. his longing was too much to take, the way it was seeping through the walls like a aphrodisiac. if it was a challenge to keep your hands to yourself under normal circumstances, it was almost impossible, now, when he was hiding his want so poorly, almost like he wasn't trying to hide it at all.
the third time it happened, you cleared your throat. it was making you sort of nervous, and it was definitely getting your hopes up. "you starin' at me, joey?" you asked, not accusatory.
"sorry," he said, immediately, didn't meet your eyes.
you tilted your head. "that's the second time you've done that," you observed.
he looked up, at that. "what?"
"that's the second time you've lied to me about being sorry."
he swallowed, and your eyes tracked the motion. his flush was that of guilt, maybe a dull sort of shame.
"why're you embarrassed?" you asked, shifting a bit closer to him. "you're allowed to look at me, you know."
his blue eyes swam with promise as he let out what looked like a soft sigh of relief. "i am?" he asked.
you nodded, felt a little mean. maybe it was the fact that it had been months since his lips had been on yours, and the memory still sparked a fire inside of you. maybe it was the fact that you'd been so patient, maybe it was that you had a feeling the sight of you in his button-down, a little tight in the chest and by the hips, was making his throat dry. "you're allowed, joey, because we're such good friends."
something like a grunt rumbled in his throat, involuntary, and you squinted at him. you were right in front of him, now, sitting on your heels, watching his indecision weigh on him like a boulder between his shoulder blades.
"what?" you asked, the picture of innocence. "what's wrong?"
"nothing, sweetheart," he said, breathy, "nothing's wrong, it's just that-"
"what?" you pushed.
he didn't continue, just swallowed around his words, rested his elbows on his bent knees, notebooks strewn to the side.
you gave a little pout, leaned forward, so close, now, you could see the faint gold in the blue of his eyes. "don't like being my friend, joey?"
"no, i do-" he rushed, but you cut him off again.
"'ve been so good," you said, because it was true, "and you're being mean."
this seemed to sober him up, to turn his words to steel, steady and honest. this seemed to tap into a well of confidence you didn't even know he possessed, because he leaned forward, too, reached a broad hand out, brushed his thumb against your cheekbone, making your breath catch in your throat.
"i like being your friend," he said, and the words were like a soothing balm to your scorched reputation. then his gaze rippled with heat, and you remembered how you had gotten that reputation in the first place. he gave you a knowing sort of look. "but i want to kiss you, sweetheart. so badly."
you could have cried with relief, could have slapped him in the face for taking so long, could have made him wait a little bit longer just to be cruel, but instead, you just wrapped your arms around his neck, shifted forward, let him make space for you until your knees straddled his hips.
it felt like something religious that he was the one that pulled you closer, by your hips, that he was the one to dip his head down and meet you in a kiss that felt, simultaneously, like opening a door marked do not enter and finally, finally, coming home.
you tugged lightly at his hair, just wanting him closer, just wanting him as close as you could get him. his grip on one of your hips grew firm, confident, as the other hand splayed out on the side of your face, rough and warm.
you sighed into his mouth, because he tasted like how you remembered, like cool mint, and because he smelled so good, and because you felt so perfect, so safe.
his teeth knocked against yours, and his rhythm was off, and you had the feeling he was holding back, a little, but all of that was so him, was exactly the imperfect kiss you had been fixating on, but this time with the added passion of knowing him so genuinely, so deeply.
you dug a knuckle into his neck, worked at the knots under your touch. your movements grew slow, languished, lazy, as you softly rocked your hips against him, relished in the groan you pulled from him, making you pull away, just a little, feel him breathe heavy against you, his eyelids heavy. "so stiff, joey," you said, "relax for me, yeah?"
"yeah." he nodded, whined, slightly, when you shifted back and forth again. when his eyes caught yours again, there was something new there, a deeper desire, a question.
you leaned forwards, pressed your mouth messily to his jaw, down his neck. "just ask me," you said, between kisses, "you're allowed, baby, just ask me."
his voice was dazed, like it was hard to focus with your lips on his neck, with you grinding against him. you could feel him, firm and hard, underneath you. "just need," he tried, "just need something, sweetheart, please."
you pulled back, slightly, rested your cheek on his shoulder, giving you both a moment to catch your breath. "don't wanna rush you," you said into his collarbone, because you meant it, because it was important. "but 'll give you anything you want."
it felt so odd to even have to say that, because it seemed that everyone you'd been with, before, had already assumed this of you, that of course you'd give them anything, everything, because you were you, with that face, with that flirtatious smile, with that history.
it felt so lovely, to feel compelled to have to clarify that for him. because of course you would give him anything, everything, every single part of yourself, if he'd only ask.
he clasped his hands behind your back, exhaled slowly. "thank you," he whispered, and it broke your heart into a million pieces. when was the last time someone had thanked you for offering yourself up, like this? why did it almost make you want to cry?
"what do you want, baby?" you asked, running your nails along his neck, after his words had hardened around your heart like crystal, somehow still silken-soft. "will you let me make you feel good, hm? can i?"
you felt him take a deep breath against your chest. "please, sweetheart," he rasped. "please, need you, so bad."
"yeah?" you asked, shifting up and off of him, now kneeling beside his lap. "can i touch you?"
he nodded, and the heat in his eyes burned you. "please."
you reached a delicate hand forward, palmed his cock over his clothes, gentle, found him so hard and hot, while he hissed at first contact. "makin' me wait so long, baby, and you've been needin' me, too?" you teased, a soft grin on your swollen lips as you pulled him out fully, ran your hand along the length of him.
"'m sorry, sweetheart," he breathed, and it seemed funny, apologizing, then. "just wanted t'do the right thing."
you hummed, pumped him up and down, slowly, spit onto his length, kept going. "right thing, hm?" he nodded. "didn't feel right to me, baby," you said, picking up your pace, your grip wet and firm. he huffed, and his thighs tensed. "know what feels right?"
"what?" he asked, eyes pleading, practically spellbound by you, your steady stream of words, so different from him, rendered basically speechless.
"your cock in my hand," you answered, and of all things, he blushed. you bit your lip, because you had a feeling your word choice was the reason. you were pretty sure that, despite the circumstances, the thing that had your clean-tongued prince flustered was your dirty mouth. you pulled your touch away, let his eager hands help you out of his button down, your shirt underneath.
when you looked at him again, he was looking at you, already, with a galaxy in his eyes.
"what?" you asked, your mouth quirking up.
he laughed, lightly, shook his head. "just so pretty, sweetheart," he said, "just so, so pretty."
you scrunched up your face, but didn't hide your delighted smile as you went to kiss him on the jaw, hoisting your leg up and over him until you hovered above his lap. "pretty enough to fuck?" you asked, against his neck, right by his ear, and you smiled at the jolt of his hips, the shake of his breath. "tell me."
his hand braced the back of your neck, gave the softest rumble of a laugh, like whatever he was about to say was above him, like it was incomprehensible. "can i fuck you, trouble?" he asked, and you laughed, too, because the curse sounded so foreign on his lips.
it was something lovely to be laughing, with someone you trusted wholly, like this. with someone who thought, all that time ago, that you were a princess.
"watch your mouth, joey," you teased, giving him a false look of depravity as you reached under you, gripped him again, angled his cock to your core.
"such a," he began, his breath hitching when you began to sink down on him, "such a bad influence."
you groaned at the stretch as you pushed yourself down further, felt the burn of it in your throat, in your toes. you sucked on your teeth, had to close your eyes for a second as you clung to his neck for support.
finally, all the way in, you stayed still for a moment, adjusting, letting him adjust to you.
"this okay?" you whispered into his shoulder.
there was a pause. "you're perfect," he said, so genuinely it hurt. "feel so good, sweetheart."
you smiled. "can i move, baby?" he surprised you, then, answering you by gripping you harder and angling his hips up into you, slow and deep. you groaned at the sensation, fluttering in your stomach. "so good, joey," you breathed, then smiled, your tone turning devious when his other hand rooted in your hair, hard, steady. "fast learner, hm?" you asked, "already know what i like?"
his pace stuttered, but you met him thrust for thrust, up and down. "show me," he said, almost whiny, a slight sheen on the high points of his face, a flush on his neck and nose. "show me what you like, sweetheart." his eyes flooded with meaning. "want this t'be good for you, hm?"
your chest could have cracked open, because you couldn't remember the last time someone had wanted that, never mind voiced it to you. who would you be to deny him that?
you kissed his shoulder, showed him just how hard to tug at your hair. "you're so good to me, baby," you said, "too good to me, yeah?" you placed your palm over his hand, on your hip, moved it to your clit, showed him how to touch you. the friction made you clench around him, forcing a whimper from your mouth, a throaty groan from his as you both picked up your pace.
time didn't feel real, you supposed it never had, in this room. it had seemed irrelevant when you were working on mechanics problems for physics while he drafted papers for eastern european history, and it seemed irrelevant now, too.
for seconds or minutes or months, you felt yourself spiraling closer and closer, heat building inside of you as his thrusts grew jerky, as his breathing heaved, as the friction of his hand against your clit made you delirious.
your thighs felt hot with exertion as you moaned. "gonna make me cum, joey," you said, at some point, dreamy, "so deep inside of me, baby, feel you here." you placed a palm on your lower stomach to show him, pushed down, relished in the pressurized sensation.
"'m so close," he breathed, "so perfect, sweetheart, right there."
"fuck, let me have it," you pleaded, so warm and wet around him. "want it so bad, baby, let me feel you. let me take it."
he came apart at your words, his muscles tensing abruptly under your palms as his orgasm triggered your own, so sudden and staggering you swore your teeth were chattering. your head collapsed onto his shoulder as your eyes squeezed shut and he wrapped his arms around your back, holding you tight against his chest.
his shoulder was just barely damp with sweat under your cheek, and the air felt humid, heavy, like you could cup it in a palm.
when you opened your eyes, your flighty gaze caught on something shiny, just next to his desk, which had been taken over with completed lego sets. hanging on his open closet door was his tiara, you realized, from all those months ago. from before all the friendship and pining and making kingdoms out of bedroom floors.
it was sort of funny, how something like a cheap plastic crown could mean so much. if he hadn't worn it, what then? would any of this have even happened? if you hadn't reached up to straighten him out? hadn't made some joke about not being able to?
you laughed into him, and you could hear his smile. "what?" he rasped, making you look up at him. he looked straight out of a classical art museum, some kind of angel in acrylic, painted by a god-fearing sinner, all blushy cheeks and big, forgiving eyes, corded shoulders and lips wet with spit.
you massaged the back of his shoulders with a careful hand. "remember when you thought i was a princess?" you mused, the memory at the front of your mind.
"'course," he said. "most beautiful girl i'd ever seen."
you closed your eyes, exhaled, opened them again. "i was dressed as a wench," you said, but the joking tone you'd aimed for sounded dumb, following his honest confession.
he just smiled, a sliver of perfect teeth through pink lips. "don't know, trouble," he said, "pretty sure i know i princess when i see one. i was a prince, after all."
you hit him lightly on the chest, laughed. "i guess you know what you're talking about then, hm?"
he hummed. "oh, yeah," he confirmed, rubbing circles with his thumb into your lower back, "'specially when i'm talking about you."
and you thought, for the first time in a while, that maybe, to have someone talk about you wouldn't be a bad thing. that, perhaps, to have this somebody talk about you would be something quite special.
tomorrow, it would be daylight, and it would be busy, and the world would speed up again. tomorrow, benji would be late, of course, and bobby would mess up the chords to the interlude, and jenny would absolutely nail her first lead role. tomorrow, matt and simon would make a bunch of crude jokes and benji's freshman would give him a fruit basket to thank him for his leadership, and the theatre director would cry, because of how wonderful the production went.
tomorrow, a lot would happen.
but, tonight, there was just the boring prince of legos and piano keys, holding the unbecoming princess of bedpost notches and pleats. tonight, they resided over the kingdom of bad influence and embarrassed flushes.
and tonight, the kingdom was finally quiet.
fin.
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shadowdaddies · 6 months
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can i please request one with cassian x reader where reader is pregnant but doesn’t know and is being extra clingy to cassian. literally he’s going up to drink some water and she’s going with him or he’s training and she’s sitting next to him waiting for him to finish. And at meetings she’s sitting in his lap and holds him close. everyone wonders why that is bc reader doesn’t usually like pda. the bond knows before them that she’s pregnant and she subconsciously wants to stay close to her mate to feel protected. they eventually find out after feyre recognizes the signs she also had and everyone are so happy for them, cassians extra possessiveness and protective instincts go crazyyyy😍🧎‍♀️
Okay so I'm combining this with this other Cassian x pregnant!reader request because I like how the stories go together:
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So the first part of the story is fluffy, reader finding out she's pregnant. I'll mark with an * in the story for when it shifts from fluff to the action-packed part so you can decide for yourselves if you want to just enjoy the fluff or read the whole thing (I like the whole thing, I love how this turned out)
DISCLAIMER: I do not condone mortal combat while pregnant
Protect Our Family
Cassian x Reader
Warnings: canon-typical violence, mentions of sex, not proofread
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Overwhelmed by fatigue, you were nauseous and achy as you had been on and off for several weeks now. It felt as if you had a cold and your cycle at the same time, but you weren’t due for your cycle for another six weeks. You weren’t sure what had you feeling so off balance lately, but you were overcome with anxiety anytime you were apart from Cassian. 
From the moment you woke up in the morning, you could feel the bond urging you to find your mate. It was different from the frenzy when you first accepted the bond; it was a sense of security you craved, one that was never sated until you felt Cassian’s comforting presence. One day, you joined Cassian to go to the River House for a meeting with Rhys about the Illyrian camps. The males were in the office while you talked with Feyre, the two of you playing with Nyx in the living room. 
They weren’t long into the meeting when you started feeling panicked again, that draw to find Cassian overwhelming your senses. Feyre immediately sensed your stress. “Are you feeling alright? You look like you’re going to be sick,” she questioned you with a concerned look. Clutching your hand to your chest, you took a deep breath. “I don’t know, Feyre. I’ve been feeling so sick lately, like I’m on my cycle except that I know I’m not. And I know this sounds ridiculous, but I have this new instinct that I have to be near Cassian for safety. I don’t know, I think I need to see Madja.” 
You looked over to Feyre, bracing yourself for the incredulous look you were sure to receive, but instead found her teary eyed, a soft smile on her face as she shifted her glance from your face, to your stomach, and then to where Nyx was playing with his toys. Frozen in place as realization dawned on you, you simply gaped at Feyre, who turned back to you and nodded reassuringly. “I had all the same signs early in my pregnancy with Nyx. The bond is pushing you to be around your mate to protect your baby.” 
Hearing the words “your baby” out loud brought both you and Feyre to tears of joy as you stood to hug her. As if the recognition of the pregnancy triggered it, your scent changed. There was no denying it now, you and Cassian were going to have a child. You laughed through your tears as you watched Nyx run up to Feyre, trying to grasp how that would be you soon enough. Cassian and Rhys came out of the office at the sound, concern on their features as they saw your and Feyre’s tears, before they scented you. 
You turned to Cassian, your broad smile affirming that they were in fact cries of joy as you nodded to him, “you’re going to be a dad.” An stunning wave of love flowed to you through the bond as you and Cassian ran to embrace each other. A tear rolled down Cassian’s cheek as he whispered in awe, “we’re going to have a baby.”
*
The moment faded quickly as Cassian looked to Rhys with a grim expression on his face. Cass growled out, “I’m not leaving her here.” You looked frantically between the two males, trying to decipher what Cassian meant as you took in Rhys’s conflicted expression. 
“What do you mean, leave me here, Cass?” you breathed out. Cassian looked down at you with a fierce expression before kissing the top of your head. “I need to go to Windhaven. There’s suspicions that Koschei’s spies have infiltrated the camps and Azriel believes they’re planning an attack soon.” Looking between you and Rhys, Cassian continued, “I can’t leave the soldiers during a time like this, but I’m not leaving you and our child right now.” 
The weight of an anvil fell on your chest as you registered the gravity of the situation. Before another tear could fall from your eyes, Feyre stepped forward. “What if we all went up to the camps?” She squeezed your hand as she looked to you, “I will leave Nyx here with Elain, but keep you company up at the cabin, so we can stay close to Cassian without being in harm’s way at Windhaven.” No one was excited about the idea, but it was the best option you had.
You and Cassian stayed awake all night, making love as you celebrated the life you would soon be bringing into the world, but come dawn, you were filled with dread at the thought of your mate being in danger and away from your child. The four of you left for the camps early in the morning, Cassian and Rhys helping you and Feyre get settled into the cabin before they left to meet Azriel at Windhaven. It took everything in you to deny your instincts to follow Cass to the camp, but you felt peace knowing that Rhys was with him, and they would not be far in the event of trouble, which Rhys assured you was highly unlikely. 
You held back your tears as Cassian begrudgingly winnowed away with Rhysand, and settled into the couch with Feyre. You had been relaxing on the couch for awhile, Feyre giving you advice on your pregnancy while you two sipped on tea, when Feyre’s eyes turned that glazed look that let you know she was communicating mind-to-mind with Rhys. She kept her composure impressively; if you didn’t know her so well, you wouldn’t have known the way her eyes widened and the tick in her jaw was her tell. Something was wrong.
You jolted up from the couch, prepared to find and protect your mate when Feyre gently grabbed your arm, drawing you back to your surroundings. She spoke to you as one might a startled animal, “Rhysand was just informing me that there is an attack at the camp. It’s a small group, though, and the Illyrian soldiers far outnumber Koschei’s party. They can handle this.” Despite every bone in your body telling you to do otherwise, you nodded as you sat back down on the couch. Feyre gave your shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll go fix us some food in kitchen.” 
You tried to relax on the couch, but that instinct from before was back. You needed to be with Cassian. You needed your family together. You padded into the kitchen where Feyre was cooking, catching her in a tense position over the stove as she seemed to be speaking to Rhys again. Before she could even turn to address you, you had winnowed to Windhaven.
Chaos raged throughout the camp. At every turn, you witnessed a battle or a body. Without a second thought, you let your protective instincts for your family take over, grabbing a sword from the ground as you raced through the camp in search of Cassian. Fortunately, the Illyrian warriors recognized you as their General’s mate, and worked with you as you fought off soldier after soldier in Koschei’s army. 
A soldier cornered you in front of a tent, taunting you. “I can smell that little Illyrian brute inside of you. What a favor I’ll bring to the world to rid-“ His threat was cut off by an obsidian knife through his throat. Blood splattered as Azriel yanked truth-teller out of the male’s throat, throwing his body to the ground. Before you could explain what you were doing there, Azriel pulled you into a hug, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he murmured, “congratulations, sister.” 
You only had a moment to be shocked by Azriel’s uncharacteristic affection before two more males approached you, and you two were thrust into the throws of battle once more. Adrenaline surging through you, it felt as though a mere second had passed from when you’d arrived to now, as you stopped to look around at the bodies that littered the ground, the battle seemingly over.
You turned to see Azriel, who you’d been fighting along side, taking deep breaths as he came down from his own adrenaline rush. It was then he looked at you with a bewildered expression, registering what you had just done. He came over to you, frantically searching for any injuries as he tried to keep his calm. “What were you thinking? Cassian is going to lose his shit. You went into battle pregnant!” Az said, almost more to himself as you both tried to comprehend all that had transpired.
It was then that you caught sight of your mate further across the camp, sprinting towards him without a second thought. Cassian did a double-take as he saw you running to him, frozen in shock as you felt his fear through the bond. You had no time to feel guilt as you threw yourself into his arms, hugging him as though he might disappear if you let go. When you finally pulled apart enough to look him in the eyes, you were taken aback by his intense gaze. “Please don’t be angry. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew something happened to you, Cass. I need you,” grabbing his hand and holding it against your stomach, you emphasized, “we need you. We are a family, and I will always come for you.” 
Cassian leaned down to kiss you deeply before pulling away to whisper, “I love you. But you are pregnant, and I will always be the one to protect us. I am-“ 
Before he could finish his sentence, a figure approaching behind Cassian caught your attention. In the blink of an eye, you drew a throwing knife from his belt, throwing it into the chest of the soldier just before he could thrust his sword into Cassian. Cass whipped around to see the soldier on the ground before turning back to see you cocking an eyebrow at him. “WE protect this family.”
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stevesbipanic · 2 months
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@steddielovemonth Day 10: Love is missing each other @lihhelsing
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Steve heard the voicemail click for the third time today. Eddie was away in Sam Francisco recording a proper demo for a company that had seen him in an Indy bar a few months ago. It was his big break, everything Eddie had dreamt of, Steve was of course excited for him too.
He had promised to call every day for the two weeks they'd be gone. Every night at 7pm the phone would ring and Steve would excitedly pick up the phone and listen to whatever crazy story Eddie had for him that day.
He'd heard all about Eddie's first time flying and how Jeff almost puked on the plane. He'd laughed while listening to how they got lost on their second day and ended up in Chinatown. He smiled hearing how happy Eddie's voice sounded when he talked about the studio.
It made Steve sad when he hung up the phone, knowing he'd have to wait another day to hear his boyfriend's voice. Eddie was fulfilling his dreams, he might even want to move there soon if this goes well.
They'd talked a bit about it before he left but it was all hypotheticals, but the more phone calls ended with Eddie telling Steve how awesome a time he was having there the more it seemed like leaving Hawkins would soon be a reality for Eddie.
Steve was conflicted, the kids were graduating the following year, and Robin and Nancy already lived in Chicago, there were dwindling reasons to stay in Hawkins. But something kept holding Steve back. He didn't know if it was old Upside Down worries even though it had been a couple years since anything had happened, or if it was something he didn't want to think about.
Maybe he felt if he left with Eddie he'd be holding him back still, did Steve Harrington make sense in California, did they make sense in California?
It was 8pm and the phone hadn't rung. He'd called the number Eddie had given him for emergencies but for the third time he'd been met with just voicemail box.
Was Eddie hurt? Had he forgotten about Steve? He was supposed to be back in a couple days. Was Steve easy enough to forget after not even two weeks?
He rang one more time.
Please leave your message after the beep.
Steve sighed, "Hey, Eds. Um, it's about 8 now, you haven't called yet so I just want to make sure you're ok. I um, I really miss you, please call me back. Did I do something? Or um, are you um..."
Steve couldn't get the words out, too worried of what the answer would be.
"Call me when you can please, I'm sorry if this is clingy though, you don't have to call me every day it's fine, I get it, my voice probably has gotten pretty tiring."
"No voice I'd rather hear, baby."
Wait, had Eddie picked up and Steve missed the click of the line, Steve heard the beep of the end of the voicemail. That could only mean... Steve turned around to see Eddie smiling at him.
"Hi, baby."
All of Steve's worries melted as he took no time to step forward and hold Eddie in his arms.
"What are you doing here?"
"We finished early and I couldn't stand another few days without you, missed you so much baby."
"We should move."
"What?"
"Wherever your music is going, I wanna follow, Eds."
"Really?"
"Don't want to spend any more time missing you."
"I'll take you everywhere with me, sweetheart, don't want to miss you anymore either."
By the next spring, Steve and Eddie were across the country, and phone calls were for checking in with their family, the rest of their time was for them.
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roosterforme · 2 months
Text
Adult Education Part 21 | Hangman x OC
Summary: Jake works to secure his future with Jessica while also being supportive of her. She is dreading Brian's return to work, but she recognizes that she finally has the friends she deserves.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, drinking, language, 18+
Length: 4200 words
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female OC
This story is part of the Beer Boy and Sugar universe but can be read on its own! Adult Education masterlist
Seriously, who let Jake on my masterlist!? Banner by @mak-32
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Jessica had never been hungover during the week before, but all the celebratory champagne and rough sex had definitely gone to her head a little bit. She groaned when she felt Jake's hand on her shoulder. "Baby, you have to get up," he said, voice hoarse next to her ear. "We have to go to work."
"Oh, god," she groaned, rolling over away from him. "No."
"You have to," he repeated. "It's your first day with tenure, Reedy. You have to go."
A smile spread across her lips in spite of her headache, and she whispered, "Tenure. I have tenure."
"You sure do," Jake drawled softly, and she finally opened her eyes to see him grinning at her. "If you get up now, I'll make you breakfast."
Her stomach growled so loudly they both laughed, and then she pouted playfully. "But I don't have a waffle iron."
He kissed her forehead. "No. But I do. And you told me you weren't going to renew your lease."
"I'm not," she whispered as her heart swelled with happiness. 
"Well, soon enough you'll have daily access to waffles," he whispered, kissing her just below her ear. "I guess I better start cleaning out my closet to make room for your lingerie collection."
Now she wanted to move in with him as soon as possible. She could already picture herself organizing all of her pretty pieces in his nice closet while modeling a few of them for him. She still had some things he'd never seen her in, and it was going to be so much fun to tease him. 
"Get up," he said, patting her butt as he climbed out of bed. "I'll make some eggs."
Jessica went through her morning routine only after taking some Advil, and she had to drink two mugs of coffee before she really felt human. She also left her apartment a good fifteen minutes after than she usually did. "You'll be late," she fretted, running toward her car which was parked next to Jake's truck. "You'll get in trouble."
"Nah," he replied, "Bradshaw will cover for me." He kissed Jessica as she tried to push him toward his truck, stumbling in her high heels.
"Go to work. Goodbye. I love you," she said quickly. "I'll see you tonight!" 
"See you tonight, tenured Dr. Reed," he called out as she climbed into her car and started the engine. 
Jessica barely had time to get to her office before she had to grab her notebooks and head back downstairs to give her first lecture of the day. But it felt so damn good to stand there in front of her students. Dr. Rosenthal wouldn't be stopping in, because he didn't need to. Because she had tenure. And now that her headache was virtually gone and the breakfast that Jake made was sitting nicely in her belly, she kind of felt like screaming about it from the rooftops. 
But she settled for screaming about it at lunchtime when she grabbed the little container of food Jake made and took it over to the math building. After one knock on her friend's office door, it swung open revealing a bright smile. Jessica screeched quietly and hugged her. 
"I have tenure," she whispered.
"Well, obviously," Advanced Calculus replied. "There was never any doubt in my mind."
Jessica set her lunch down on the desk while her friend closed the door. "I can't thank you enough for everything you did for me. Helping me set everything up with Rosenthal and giving up so much of your free time and everything," she gushed. "Just... thank you. And I hope you had a nice time at the library with Bradley."
She snorted in response as she opened her tie dye lunchbox. "Bradley had a great time at the library, as per usual. And once again, I don't think you appreciate how very much I want to see Brian go down like a sinking ship. In fact, I volunteered for another special project."
"What kind of project?" Jessica asked as she watched her friend dip a carrot stick into some hummus. 
"I can't talk about it quite yet. I have another meeting with Dean Walters in an hour, but I think it's a project that you'll fully support." Then she bit into the carrot like a woman who was in complete control of her surroundings, and Jessica couldn't think of a single reason why she couldn't be the same way.
"If you think I'll appreciate your new project, then I can't wait to hear about it later," she said, taking a bite of the delicious food Jake made for her. 
"I'll tell you all about it as soon as I can."
After lunch, Jessica took some time to gather her scattered notes to teach Brian's senior studies class for the last time. She learned as much about chemistry from the students as they had from her, and after she worked a few problems out on the board with them, she asked, "If you have any other questions for me, please let me know now. This is the last time I'll be covering this class."
"What do you mean?" one of the students asked, leaning forward in his seat. 
"Dr. Conley will be back for class next week," she explained, and then she heard an outraged sigh followed by some muttering. "It'll be okay though," she said in a tone she hoped was reassuring. "You've all been doing so well, and you're so close to graduation now!"
"But Dr. Conley doesn't even show up to class."
"He doesn't help us with anything."
"Is there any way you can stay until the end of the semester?"
"What about the practice problems you give us?"
The sudden influx of comments and questions made Jessica feel better and also so much worse at the same time. She let them all get their concerns out of their system before she said, "My office hours are always available for you. And you can still email me if you want to. I can even try to make more practice problems, but honestly, all of you are much better at chemistry than I am. Maybe you can run the class yourselves if Dr. Conley isn't here?"
She hated Brian. She actually still hated him. But more so for these students now than on her own behalf. They all looked concerned and apprehensive, and she spent another ten minutes talking to them until they were calm enough to head to their next class. She wished she could finish teaching them for the rest of the semester, and she decided she would ask Dean Walters if there was any chance she could teach her own senior studies class for physics majors next school year.
-----------------------------
Jake was already home and showered with dinner in the oven, eating some chips on the couch while he waited for Jessica. He was keeping a running tally of things he still needed to give her since he'd already willingly handed over his heart. His spare key was sitting next to his feet which were propped up on the coffee table. He had already cleaned out half of his closet and consolidated his stuff to make some room. And he wanted to pay for the flights to Massachusetts and Texas for her once she approved the dates. 
When his phone lit up with a text letting him know she was here, he ran down to her car in just his sweatpants and slippers with his spare key ring looped around his finger. "Did you have a good day?" he asked, taking her overnight bag from her hand as she locked her car.
"I did," she replied quietly. "I left so late, because I talked to the dean about teaching my own senior studies class next term."
"And?"
She smiled as they walked to his condo. "He said it's a good possibility now that I have tenure."
"There's nothing you can't do." Jake kissed her and pressed the key ring into her hand.
"What's this?" she asked, looking at it as she stood outside the front door. "Oh!" She slipped it into the lock and let them both inside as she blushed. "You want me to have it now? Even though I'm not moving in quite yet?"
"Please," he replied as he walked inside, his eyes catching on the print of his jet that she gave him for his birthday. "You can come and go as you want, but I hope you'll be here more often than not."
Jake watched as she took her keys out again and added his ring to them. "Thank you." She was fiddling with them a little bit when she looked up at him as she stepped out of her high heels. "Brian will be back tomorrow," she said softly. "That's what Dr. Rosenthal told me when I ran into him. And if he doesn't know I have tenure by now, he'll find out soon enough."
Jake collected her in his arms. "He can't do anything about it now, Reedy. It's a done deal. And unless you fuck up spectacularly at work, which you definitely won't, he's not entitled to say anything about it."
She nodded against him. "I know that. I do know that, but I still don't want to have to see him and hear his stupid, condescending voice complain about me."
He pressed his nose to her hair and kissed her before he whispered, "You wear your tenure like a shield. And if he can't figure out how to shut his mouth, you let me know, and I'll be there in an instant."
Jessica shivered in his arms. "That shouldn't sound as sexy as it does. You know..." she mused, "none of this would have happened if you hadn't punched Brian in the face the first time. So I guess I really have you to thank."
"How so?" Jake asked as he led her to the kitchen where the oven timer was going off. 
"You punched Brian, and then his wife saw his messed up face. And then she came to campus looking for answers and found him with the teaching assistant. And then he took a leave of absence." When Jake set down the baking dish and glanced over his shoulder, she was smiling brightly. "Jake, you literally saved my career with your fist!"
He shrugged and shook off his oven mitts. "All I did was punch someone who was trying to intimidate my girlfriend. I'll do it again if I have to. Now, would you like some parmesan cheese sprinkled on top of your dinner?" he asked as he cut into the casserole. He ended up with Jessica in his arms. 
----------------------------
Jessica heard the whispers all day on Thursday. If Dr. Rosenthal hadn't told her that Brian was coming back, she would have chalked it up to everyone at the university being addicted to their daily gossip, but she half expected to see him lurking around every corner. She kind of wanted to go right to Brian's office, knock on the door and tell him that she got tenure just to get it over with. But when she thought about seeing his face, she shook her head in disgust. 
She hadn't heard much from Jake all day, and Advanced Calculus was scarce as well. But when she went to the lounge to make a sad cup of coffee before her office hours started, the teaching assistant that Brian had been sleeping with was in there along with another one that Jessica wasn't familiar with. They must not have seen her at first as they were clearly talking about Brian.
"He looks terrible, honestly. Like he hasn't slept. I'm sure he's going to ask me if I want to mess around again, especially since his wife left."
"I don't know. I heard he's actually pretty upset that she took the kids. But I really want to know who broke his nose in the first place."
Jessica considered sneaking back out of the room, but it was too late. They had seen her, and they both snapped their mouths closed. Had Sabrina Conley really taken their kids? Was she gone for good? Jessica thought she'd probably be better off without her husband. She also wanted to ask the TA if she knew Brian was married when they were messing around before, but it was really none of her business. 
"Hi," she greeted evenly, strolling toward the coffee maker. The only sound in the small room was her high heels tapping against the floor as she walked. But neither of them said a word in response before they turned and left. Maybe they were embarrassed about being caught talking about Brian, or maybe Jessica still had a bad reputation in the science department. Either way, she was going to take her coffee upstairs and wait for Luca to stop by before spending the night cuddled up with Jake. 
When she finished stirring her drink and turned toward the door, she almost spilled her coffee all over herself. "Brian," she gasped, taking an awkward step backwards so her hip hit the edge of the counter a bit painfully. He looked so angry, she immediately felt like her heart was going to explode out of her chest as her nerves took over. 
"Call me Dr. Conley," he snapped, and she could feel her face flushing with embarrassment as she stood there silently. 
Jessica's hands shook as she tried to walk to the door, but he didn't budge from his spot blocking her exit path. "Excuse me," she said, trying her best to sound stronger than she felt. 
"I don't even want to know how badly your lesson plans have gone off course over the past few weeks," he practically growled. "You're going to need to schedule a meeting with me to go over everything. The sooner the better."
"No."
Brian looked surprised by her response. "Yes," he replied with a sarcastic laugh. "I know you think you really did something special by getting that asshole to punch me in the face, but your days here are fucking numbered. Understand?"
"No," Jessica repeated as Jake's voice in her mind kept telling her to wear her tenure like a shield. Plus, she could clearly picture the paperwork she signed with Dr. Rosenthal since she read over it a dozen times. "I don't have to answer to you about my curriculum choices any longer."
He laughed. "Okay, so now you're unreliable, slutty, and stupid?"
"I have tenure," she said firmly, gripping the coffee a little tighter while his eyes bugged out in anger. 
He shook his head. "You can't get tenure unless you get it through me," he snarled.
Jessica looked at his crooked nose and miserable expression, and if she wasn't on the verge of tears, she might have laughed. "You can ask Dean Walters for a copy of my signed paperwork. And if you have concerns about my curriculum, then you can take it up with him." She tried to duck past him through the doorway, certain her resolve was almost gone now. 
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Brian demanded loudly, and she jumped back. "Explain yourself right fucking now."
"Dr. Conley!" came a familiar voice from the hallway, and then Dr. Rosenthal was poking his head in the lounge door. "You shouldn't be raising your voice like that to Dr. Reed, especially since you're on probation."
"Probation?" Jessica whispered, and Brian's face soured further.
"Mind your own business, Rosenthal," he snapped, and under his breath he added, "you should have retired a decade ago."
"Yes. Probation," came another familiar voice as Advanced Calculus strolled in with a notebook in her hand like she hadn't a care in the world. She stopped right in front of Brian with her back to Jessica, acting almost like a buffer. "He's in a lot of trouble," she said in a voice that bordered on teasing, and Brian's face grew pink.
"What do you mean?" Jessica whispered, and the other woman smirked at her over her shoulder.
"He's on probation for a history of behavioral issues, and I volunteered to be his probation officer of sorts," she replied before turning back toward Brian. "Don't forget, Dean Walters asked to check in with me on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And I'll be dropping by your classes to make sure you actually show up to them. Oh, and I'll have to add to my report that you raised your voice to a professor with tenure while she was just trying to make a cup of coffee." She tapped her notebook. "It's not looking good, Brian."
Jessica watched Dr. Rosenthal shuffle away after he cleared his throat, and Brian spun on his heel to follow suit. "Is this for real?" Jessica asked, looking around the room to try and tell if she was in a dream.
"Yep. He's my new volunteer project. I think Dean Walters could just tell that I have a lot of experience taming fuckboys. But Brian takes the cake, let me tell you. He's been skipping out on his classes to meet up with different women."
Jessica adjusted her glasses and looked at the floor as she whispered, "I never missed my classes when he and I were...."
"Of course not," she said blandly. "That's why you were given tenure instead of being put on probation. You actually do your job. He doesn't. Now, I was thinking about Chippy's tomorrow night? Kind of a celebration?"
Jessica just blinked at her. "A celebration for what?"
"You! A tenure party! Fratraiser part deux as Bradley has been calling it. You know what, I'll take care of the whole thing. Don't even stress about it."
Jessica had been planning on spending the weekend cleaning out her apartment before she started to move a few things to Jake's place. But going out for a bit could be fun. She had more friends in San Diego now than she ever dreamed she would. "What were you thinking? Like a double date?"
"Something like that," she replied with a twinkle in her eye. "How about tomorrow night at eight?"
"Let me check with Jake," she said right away.
"Oh, Jake already knows."
--------------------------------
"We'll just stay for a little bit and then head home again," Jessica whispered as she and Jake made their way slowly from his truck to Chippy's. He was fucking obsessed with the way she just called his condo home. He was obsessed with everything about her as he pressed her up against the side of Chippy's out on the sidewalk. She'd let him dress her for the night by turning it into a game, and he had chosen a black lace bodysuit paired with a mini skirt and denim jacket.
"I made a mistake," he whispered, voice rough with need as he let his hand slip underneath the skirt. Then he moaned, "A huge mistake."
She laughed as he bumped her glasses with his nose while he kissed her ear. "Did you?"
Jake was uncomfortably hard in his jeans. "Baby, I really want to fuck you. And your outfit is not helping," he added as he squeezed her bare thigh.
"That's your fault," she whispered with a grin while he whined. "Seriously, we'll just stay for a drink or two. It'll be like a double date. And then we can do whatever you want, okay?"
Jake took her hand in his, kissed her fingers and said, "On the way home, you're ordering those toys from that dirty website you found. I think we need all of them."
He could tell she was blushing in the darkness by the warmth of her cheeks against his lips. "Okay," she agreed softly, and Jake had to adjust himself in his jeans before they could walk inside. 
"Holy shit," he gasped when a crowd of people cheered Congratulations! to his girlfriend. Bradshaw's wife didn't mention there would be this many people in attendance. He saw Bradshaw with his backwards hat and hideous tie dye shirt with his arms wrapped around his wife, but all of the other aviators were there, too. Jake spotted a much older man in a sweater vest sipping a beer, and he assumed that must have been Rosenthal. And of course someone had invited Dev.
"You okay?" Jake asked Jessica as she just stood next to him with happy tears in her eyes. She nodded and sniffed as she read the banner that was hanging above Chippy behind the bar. 
CONGRATS, REEDY!
"Yeah, I'm okay," she whispered, burying herself against Jake as he wrapped his arm around her. "I'm just surprised so many people cared enough to be here."
"Don't cry, Jess!" Bradley shouted over the music and conversation as his wife headed over. "It's a happy occasion! It's not like you're in a relationship with Jake or something horrible. Oh... wait...."
Jake shot him a nasty look while he laughed hysterically, and he watched Jessica hug everyone in attendance, thanking all of them individually for coming to her party. Jake briefly wrapped his arms around her and kissed her as he asked, "You want a Sam Adams, Baby?"
"Yes," she replied, but then she added, "but I want to thank Chippy, too." And with that, Jessica walked right behind the bar and gave the grouchy bar owner a hug, and Jake saw a rare smile break out on his face. "Thank you for always welcoming me here," she told him softly while Jake leaned on the bar. "I felt safe here when I didn't really feel safe anywhere else."
Chippy patted her on the head and then started to push her away as he got a little emotional himself. "You're always welcome here, Reedy," he told her before he started to reach for some bowls to fill them with peanuts, and Jessica walked back around the bar and into Jake's arms. Chippy poured a few beers, and set them down in front of Jake as he growled, "So I guess you're sticking around then?"
"Looks that way," Jake replied, leaning down to kiss Jessica's cheek. "Until this one comes to her senses."
"I told you I wouldn't," she replied with a laugh. Then she turned to Chippy and said, "He's not so bad. And he's sweet to me."
"Then I guess he can stay," Chippy replied with a shrug, still glaring slightly. 
Jake picked up two beers and led the way to a table near the others while Jessica carried the peanuts. "I think he finally tolerates me," Jake boasted. 
"It only took you several months," she replied with a smirk. "Chippy didn't fall for your charms as quickly as I did."
Jake set the beers down next to the peanuts and pulled Jessica closer to him. "You made me work hard for it. Ever since the first night I met you when you brought me here for a three dollar beer."
She reached up and raked her fingers through his hair. "I had to know for sure. That you really wanted me."
Jake kissed her rough on the lips right in front of everyone. "I need you, Jessica," he promised, making her smile. "I love you."
"Okay, that's enough of that," Bradshaw's wife said, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention. "I just have a few words I want to say." She looked a little emotional as she started. "Jessica, you've become one of my very best friends in just a few short months. I know that your time at San Diego State started off a little rocky for you, and I'm sincerely sorry from the bottom of my heart that I didn't take the time to get to know you last semester when you really needed a friend in your corner. You're one of the kindest and smartest people I have ever met in my life."
Jake held Jessica as she looked like she was about to cry. "I'm the one who should be saying nice things to you!" she replied, swiping at her tears behind her glasses. "You've done so much to help me."
"And you've done so much by taking Jake off our hands for us," Bradley added loudly as everyone started laughing. 
"That's fair," Jake admitted with a grin as he pressed his lips to Jessica's hair.
Then Bradshaw's wife lifted her pint glass in the air, and everyone else did as well. "Congratulations on your tenure, Dr. Reed!"
The bar erupted in loud cheers, and Bradley shook up a bottle of champagne. Jake spent the rest of the night kissing the sticky sweetness from Jessica's face and making sure Dev kept his hands to himself. He made sure his girlfriend always had a Sam Adams in her hand and that her denim jacket was neatly buttoned over that bodysuit that he was dying to get his hands on. 
He didn't mind sharing Jessica with everyone else for the evening, especially since she'd made such a good friend in Bradshaw's wife. But much later, when Jessica turned and looked at him while she intentionally unbuttoned her jacket, he was more than ready to get her alone. 
"Take me home, Jake," she said sweetly, reaching for his hand. "I'm ready to go home."
He kissed her lips and wrapped his arms around her. "Let's get out of here, Smart Girl."
---------------------------
I hope you loved reading this as much as I have loved writing it! There will not be just one, but TWO epilogues! Stay tuned for those and pegging! Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 22
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345 notes · View notes
spockandawe · 7 months
Text
Double edit: actually, that's enough of that.
Edit: I was expecting maybe thirty notes tops. This is a surprise, and one that doesn't delight me. If I hear about any harassment stemming from this post, I'll be more pissed at the harasser than the person this is about.
God. Dammit.
I hate this, let's just out that out there! I'm unhappy that I'm talking about any of this, I'm unhappy there's an issue that's come up at the intersection of media preservation, respecting authors, and one of my favorite book series. And I'm unhappy that I've censored the names in the screenshots I'm about ti post! I'm not happy that I'm helping to slide consequences away from someone who thought this was an acceptable thing to do to a modern working author. But I'm even less happy this is something that happened in the first place, and I'm VERY unhappy the original post has been deleted without a whisper of accountability or apology.
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And here's a partial screenshot of the IA page, which has since been removed. I get the excitement to share something you love with a new audience. This isn't the right way to go about it.
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First, if Martha Wells' patreon is still in place, I encourage everyone in the strongest possible terms to go sign up for it. It'll charge you one dollar. I've been a member since probably 2018, and I mistakenly believed it was locked to new members (it's labeled 'Currently Closed To New Patrons') until I had reason to look it up last night, when I tripped across this reddit post from earlier this year.
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Now. I was looking it up because of this sudden patreon message:
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Even if the patreon goes away, I still recommend that people sign up. Explore the stories! They're very fun! Even though the patreon has been dormant for years, I've loved having that repository in place.
In fact, in the interest of full disclosure, what kept me from immediately reblogging last night is that I've felt the same archival urges! I bound a hard copy of these stories earlier this year, and let me quote my own words from that post:
I live in a state of perpetual low key stress over the impermanence of digital media and that goes extra for sites that aren’t designed to work well as archives. I hope, desperately, that someday Martha Wells publishes more raksura, maybe even including these stories! I will buy it immediately. No thoughts, wallet empty. I own all her other raksura books in literally three formats, fingers crossed that by printing this, I can actualize a formal official printing of these stories by the author 😂
So. Archiving, yes. But especially with a living, working author, I would never DREAM of posting a public free-for-all with IA and mediafire links. My most charitable interpretation is that OP thought it was fine since the stories were "free," even though the writeups acknowledge that access costs a dollar. Ao3 is also free. Reposting someone else's fic is still understood to be a dick move.
Last night i was left kind of stunned, and I was hoping to see some kind of response from op this morning taking responsibility, and was... disappointed to see that the post was just deleted. The IA listing was deleted too, and I hadn't actually looked up the mediafire post yet but I'm guessing it's also been nuked. Out of curiosity, I wanted to see if there was anything more in the comments, so I found a surviving reblog. And there was!
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So I'm writing this post because I'm... frustrated. Taking down the files is a good step. Posting them publicly was a worse step, but hey. I still more than understand if Martha Wells still deletes her patreon. I don't understand what sending her files of her own stories is meant to accomplish, but whatever. Ascribing a profit-driven motive is driving me up a wall, though. She's financially stable. I read her email, and what i see is frustration that even though it only cost a dollar to access 62k of her work through her own chosen location, control of her writing is being forcibly removed from her. I'm sure that seeing copies sold by third parties wouldn't help, but I don't think that's the root issue.
This is a fandom-heavy website, I'm sure most of us have seen posts about not reposting art when you can share directly from the artist's blog. I've seen posts about stop copying your ao3 faves over to wattpad just because you like reading there better. At a fundamental level, I read the message from Martha Wells as a deep frustration at having no way to share her creative work without someone removing control of it from her hands. And I don't know if there's any way to really take back that damage.
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hyunniesgirl · 6 months
Note
oooh Slytherin!hyunjin gives amortentia to reader after she rejects him so many timesss and after the effect gone she found out and mad oooh angst angst idk happy ending hahahahhahahaa (sorry for my bad grammar)
So this ask got me super excited!!! I love writing fantasy so count me in, babes! Please ignore any mistakes since I stopped reading Harry Potter in the forth book and just settled for the movies lmao
Here are some spells used in the story that may be confusing for my sweeties that are not into harry potter:
¹Amortentia: it's the most powerful love potion, it can't reproduce real love and it comes with dangerous side effects like a powerful infatuation or obsession. It smells differently to each person, like the things(or people) the person who's feeling the scent likes.
²Cruciatus: a spell(curse) used to torture people.
I'm using this post to celebrate reaching 200 followers 🥳, thank you for those who like what I write and keep supporting me, I'll keep working hard to bring more nice stories for you!!
I wish you would
Pairing: Slytherin!Hyunjin x fem!reader
Genre: angst, fluff
Warnings: cursing
Word count: 5,120(I'm sorry about that not really I just got very inspired)
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Hyunjin is obsessed with you, everyone with eyes and ears knows that. He runs after you like a dog runs after its tail and you always try being nice, try rejecting him in a way to not hurt him but he doesn't seem to take a hint.
Your class just ended, you collect your books and walk to the corridor, feeling his eyes on you.
"What's it?" You ask, turning around to look at him. His green and black uniform matching perfectly with his blond hair. He seems taken aback with the sudden attention, since he's used to you ignoring him.
"I just wanted to give you this", he smiles, holding a paper bag to you, "Felix made brownies and I just thought you'd like a snack, I know you're studying a lot for exams"
You smile, you love brownies but you're not sure if you should accept it. It's been a day since you rejected Hyunjin… again. He doesn't seem bothered by it anymore, he just keeps coming on strong and at this point you already know it's just a trait of his personality to not give up easily. But it would seem inconsiderate to not accept, since he brought it just for you.
"Don't think too much", he shake the bag a little, "I'm just trying to look out for you"
You sigh, accepting the gift and thanking him. It's not going to kill you to be nice this one time.
After saying goodbye you head to the library, you're going to meet Seungmin to study. Your classes are not that difficult this semester, so you're just using your extra time to study for the bigger exams.
It's already past dinner time when you finish your studies, your friend gave up a few hours back and went to the dorms while you stayed to study a bit more.
You're hungry so you look at the paper bag Hyunjin gave you and look inside. The brownies have a nice scent of mint? Maybe Felix added some to the recipe.
One it's not enough, it's so good you end up eating the whole lot. Maybe you shouldn't have, you feel sick instantly after finishing it and the librarian comes running as soon as she looks at your face.
"Are you alright, darling? You look pale", she asks and you nod, maybe the exhaustion is finally hitting you.
You grab your things and walk towards the dormitories of your house, you feel your mouth dry and an empty feeling on your chest. What's going on? You look around, there's very little people in the hall since it's almost curfew time.
When you're crossing the courtyard, you see a shadow of someone hovering over and you stop in your tracks trying to discern who it is.
You tighten the hold on your wand while they get closer, only to breathe relieved seeing it's just Hyunjin.
"It's already late, you shouldn't be wandering around by yourself", he says.
"Oh, I-", you feel your cheeks warm suddenly, do you have a fever? Your hands are sweating too. "Can you help me?" You ask him, stretching your hand for him to hold, your heart beating fast to the thought of touching him. "I'm not feeling very well"
"Yeah?" He raises an eyebrow, surprised, but still takes a step closer to you, grabbing your arm with a hand and sliding his other to your waist, giving you support by embracing you entirely.
"Thanks, I don't know what came on to me", you mumble and you're not sure if he heard, until you feel him tightening the hold he has on you.
"It's okay, it's my pleasure", he whispers close to your ear and you shiver.
It's strange for you to have this kind of reaction, especially to Hyunjin. It's not that you don't like him perse, you just don't think about dating in general. You want to focus on your studies, do well on your exams and have a good career, it's your parents dream that became your dream.
His pursuit over you got boring after the fourth time you rejected him. It was fun in the beginning, he's Hwang Hyunjin after all: handsome, smart and rich, you felt special when he didn't care about all those people that would crawl after him, but would beg for just a single glance of yours. With time it started bothering you, though. It seemed like the more you rejected him, the more interested he would get.
Why did it bother you, though? It feels nice having him holding you right now, he smells like mint, his warmth is shielding you from the cold air and you think it's okay to have him by your side just for a moment.
You can't stop thinking about him, Hyunjin is the first thing in your mind when you open your eyes in the morning and the whole breakfast you spend looking for him around the great hall, thinking about what he'd like to eat and maybe if he would like to walk with you to your classes.
"Are you alright?" Seungmin's voice takes you out of your thoughts, you realize you're just staring at your food for some time now.
"Nothing", you smile slightly, "I just… do you know where Hyunjin is?"
Seungmin frowns, tilting his head to the side while analyzing you.
"Why would I know that? But most importantly, why do you want to know that?"
You sigh, going back to play with your food.
"I just miss him", you mumble, earning a gasp from your friend.
"Did you finally lose it?" He's staring at you with narrowed eyes, disgusted.
You sigh, looking around one more time and finally seeing Hyunjin entering the hall, he's talking to a girl. Who is she? Why is she smiling so much to him? Why is he smiling back at her?
Your body moves by itself, getting up and walking with heavy steps towards the entrance where Hyunjin is talking to that girl, he seems excited.
You don't like it.
"Excuse me?" You say, waiting for him to turn around. You have your arms crossed in front of your chest and a foot tapping impatiently on the floor.
He looks at you with a smile that almost makes you melt, almost. You get even angrier, did he smile like that to her too?
"Oh, y/n, what can I do for you?"
"Who is she?" You ask without even thinking, why does that matter?
"We have divination together", he answers simply, just like that, as if that was a good enough answer. He frowns in confusion when you don't say anything and keep just staring at him. "Hm, we were just talking about some crazy prophecy Trelawney came up with in the middle of our class yesterday", he finishes, hoping you're satisfied with his answer.
You take your eyes out of him, looking at the girl and lifting one eyebrow, she smiles sheepishly at you and say goodbye to Hyunjin, walking to her house's table.
"Why did you take so long?" You step closer to him, grabbing his hand and holding it with yours.
"I didn't know you were waiting", he answers, leaning closer to you with a smirk in his lips.
"Well, I'll be waiting from now on so you better get here quickly"
You turn around, facing the tables. People are staring and whispering, of course, you never gave the time of day to him, it's something unpredictable to see you being cozy.
You slide his arms over your shoulder, a message to every other person that he's yours now. You're not sure where this possessiveness is coming from but it's there and you have to make it clear.
Hyunjin didn't think the potion would actually work, he's not that good at potions. He's been trying to catch your attention for a very long time but you rejected him over and over. He could have anyone he wanted, just not you and that made him crazy in the beginning, he just wanted you more and more, he's very ambitious after all.
However, after some time, he realized his feelings were deeper than what you thought, even more than he thought.
He started noticing every little thing about you, how you frown when you concentrate too hard, how you make every little feeling of yours show in your face. How you always have to be right.
And how you didn't want anything to do with him.
He was in love with you. That made him desperate, he needed you and you kept turning him down.
So he took drastic measures, he's not sure it's the most ethical thing to do, but he's unquestionably cunning, so he would do anything to achieve his goal.
A week before he gave you the brownies, your potion's class learned how to brew amortentia and he knew he had to give it a try. He spent nights awake trying to make the perfect potion, strong enough for it to work instantly and last long enough for you to not fall out of love easily.
"Are you really going to use a love potion?" Felix asks while watching Hyunjin mix the liquid with the brownies batter.
"I need to", he answers.
"She's going to be pissed if she finds out, you know that, right?" Felix tries again, it's not easy to make Hyunjin give up when he sets his mind to something.
"At least she'll be looking at me", his answer takes Felix by surprise, he knows Hyunjin is in love with you but maybe he can't grasp the depth of his feelings.
Hyunjin decides to wait, he'll try one more time before using the charmed brownies. He sees you in the courtyard, reading. You look beautiful with your hair messed by the wind and your lips moving, pronouncing the words in the book.
"So", he starts, he always tries to be confident around you, even though every time you turn him down his self esteem takes a blow. "When are we going on that date?", he asks, sitting by your side and watching you lift your eyes out of the book to look at him.
"Hm, I don't know about that", you smile kindly. He thinks you're cute being so considerate and trying not to hurt his feelings. Maybe if you weren't so nice to him, he'd already have gotten over you.
"What do I have to do for your answer to be yes?" He asks, bending his upper body to look at your face since you're looking at the book on your lap now.
"Let's not, Hyunjin", you sigh, "you know it's always going to be no"
He swallows hard, he did wish you were harsher in your rejection but he didn't think it would hurt so much.
"I'm not going to give up", he gets up, winking at you, he's too proud to show how hurt he is. "I know you don't dislike me, so that's a win for me", he smiles at you, even though he feels like he's suffocating.
He knows your personality, if you hated the idea of him hitting on you so much, you would already have threatened to crucio him but you don't and it's not because you're too polite for that, he has seen you fight people for much less.
He goes back to the Slytherin's common room and sits in front of the fireplace. It's getting cold lately, you shouldn't stay outside so much and for so long.
He just wants you to look at him, he's sure if you just get to know him better you'll want to be with him, he'll make sure of it.
So he gives you the brownies even though he feels a bit guilty about it, it's to late to back down when he sees you already turning around the corner, heading to the library.
He's restless, not sure when you're going to eat the brownies or if you are going to actually do it, he tries playing a bit of quidditch with his friends and studying but he's too anxious to concentrate on anything other than you. So he stays close to the library, waiting for you to finish your things.
As soon as you walk by the courtyard he can tell you're sick, so he gets closer and helps you get to your common room. Did you actually ask for his help? That sounds like a dream to him, just the thought of being next to you is enough to make him the happiest person alive, feeling your warmth against his body was enough to make him melt. If you didn't need his support, he'd be laying on the floor.
After giving him a peek on the cheek and leaving him behind in the great hall, after breakfast he can feel a burning gaze and he knows exactly who it is from. Seungmin, your best friend.
You might be enchanted but he's not, and if Hyunjin doesn't give you more of the love potion, Seungmin is going to make you fall out of love, he's sure of it.
He brews more of the potion, putting it on another batch of brownies to give to you. And you love the gift, eating all of it while studying with Hyunjin in the library. You're not studying much actually, you're just looking at him and asking questions about him, what he likes to do, about his family and his friends. It's an entirely new world to have all your attention to himself, he loves it, loves to spend time with you. The longer he stays in your presence the more he's sure that he does love you, all of you.
You're feeling tired lately, you lost all the deadlines to your projects in the last two weeks and now you're having to pull all nighters to try and get them all ready before the end of the semester. You have been spending a lot of time with Hyunjin, all the time you're not in class revolves around him.
He has been giving you lots of brownies lately and you're actually getting sick of it but you don't want to be a killjoy and end up accepting it anyway, eating it when you're bored.
This was the last time you accepted it though, you're going to say that you don't want it from now on and maybe Seungmin can help you eat these ones. Your best friend is at the library, waiting for you. He's going to help you finish some details of your project.
"I brought this for you", you shake the paper bag, holding it out for him.
He opens it and looks inside.
"Why does it smells like wood?" He scowls.
"What are you talking about?" You laugh awkwardly, "it smells like mint"
He stares at you for a few seconds before gasping, his hand palming his mouth.
"That's what's wrong with you!" He gets up, throwing the paper bag in the trash and ignoring your 'hey!' in protest. "Did Hyunjin give this to you?" He asks.
"Yes, why?"
"For how long have you been eating these brownies? Did they smell like that since the first time?" He ignores your questions, he looks absolutely out of it.
"Yeah, he gave me the first one's like two weeks ago", you frown, trying to understand what he's trying to say.
"He's been giving you amortentia", he tells you, running his hand through his hair, "how did I not realize that sooner, you've been acting weird for a reason!"
You feel your heart sink, he's been doing what?
That's not possible, he would never do something like that. Right?
You gasp, looking back to the way you have been acting lately, did he really charm you? So none of the things you're feeling are really real?
You managed to stay away from him for so long and suddenly you couldn't think about anything but him, the reason was right under your nose, you can't believe you didn't notice the signs.
"How much time does it take for it to wear out?" You ask, not really remembering what the professor taught you.
"A few hours minimum, a day or two if it's strong enough", Seungmin answers, whatching you seat and look at your fingers. Your chest hurts.
"Can I stay with you tonight? The last batch he gave me was yesterday, I may be fine tomorrow morning", you want to cry, Seungmin recognizes that face. You're looking around trying to prevent the tears from falling and he wants to kill Hyunjin for that.
Seungmin has been your best friend since first year, he didn't think he would have so much in common with someone from your house, but you two just clicked. He knows you like Hyunjin but you're too focused on your future to actually see that. Every time he makes a move on you, you'll turn him down, but your friend can see your eyes lingering on his figure while he walks away, you keep looking until he disappears and then you sigh. Sometimes Seungmin even sees you giggling from something Hyunjin says and your eyes shine brighter in those moments, he's not sure how you didn't realize it yet.
After the hurt eases a bit, you start getting mad. You wake up in the morning and all you can think about is a way to murder Hwang Hyunjin. You can't believe he used you like that, like a fucking toy for him to play house with.
You see him in the corridor, he smiles looking at you and opens his arms, waiting for a hug with a big smile on his face. Disgusting, that's all you can think.
"My love"
You walk confidently to him, taking him by surprise by hitting him in the face with a mixture of punch and slap, doing the movement of a slap but hitting him with your closed fist. He bends down, touching his cheek and looking at you, betrayal in his eyes.
"You fucking asshole!" You're seeing red, you didn't think you'd feel so livid seeing him, you're so hurt, so angry.
"Babe?" He looks at you like you're the one in the wrong.
"Don't", you take a deep breath, looking around to try and ease your anger, "don't call me that. You used a fucking love potion on me? What kind of loser does that?"
He gasps, he didn't think you'd find out about it, not so soon. He was sure he could make you fall in love with him and later on he would tell you about what he did.
Hyunjin could have anyone, there are dozens of people falling on their knees for him, you just can't understand why it has to be you.
"Let me explain, yeah?" He tries, taking a step closer and trying to hold your hands but you step back, glaring even harder at him.
"Don't touch me" you say, gritting your teeth, "you're disgusting"
You turn around, seeing the amount of people looking at your fight with shocked expressions in their faces. Of course no one's going to believe he gave you a love potion, he doesn't need that, he's Hwang Hyunjin.
That makes you even angrier.
You walk fast away from there, you can't believe you have to go through this kind of thing and the worst part is, why does it hurt so much? The effects of the potion must have ended by now, then why do you feel like you can't breath? The tears run out of your eyes without your permission and the hiccups come naturally with the painful cries.
You feel tired, frustrated, overwhelmed but most of all you feel heartbroken. There's no more potion tempering with your feelings but you still feel a lot of different emotions you shouldn't be feeling. It's not possible that you really like him.
The right reaction is for you to curse him, feel mad about all he's done and hate him with all your being. But you're feeling hurt and you want to curse at him, obviously you're angry about what he's done, but you're worried about him too, maybe you were too harsh.
No.
You'll not let any feelings you have let him get away with manipulating you. If you really do like him you're just going to have to stop.
Hyunjin can't eat, can't sleep, can't study, in other words, he can't function properly. You don't speak to him, you don't look at him, you don't even aknowledge his existence.
You don't eat when he's in the great hall, you will sit in the fartest seat from him when you're in the same class and everytime he tries talking to you, your personal bodyguard, Seungmin, prevents him from doing it.
He can't live like this, Hyunjin feels like he's about to die at any moment and he just doesn't know what to do.
Felix is too nice to actually say it but he looks at Hyunjin with that 'I told you so' look and just watches again as his friend sits in his bed and spends minutes staring at nothing.
"Was it that bad?" He asks but he already knows the answer. The whole school is in uproar after you punched him in the middle of the corridor before classes started, so to say everyone knows about what happened it's an understatement.
"She's not even looking at me", Hyunjin says finally and Felix sighs, sitting by his side and patting his back.
"I think you should give her some time", Hyunjin scowls after hearing that, even though he knows his friend is probably right.
It hurts so much, even more than when you just ignored him. Because now that he felt your warmth, he can't live without it.
Since Seungmin met you, this is the first time he has to worry about you. Even when you pulled all-nighters studying or joined too many extracurricular activities, you always took care of yourself. This time though, you're not.
Your grades are back to normal and your projects are all ready a week before the deadline but at what cost? You are not sleeping properly, there are huge eyebags under your eyes and you lost weight, your hair is always a mess and your clothes are far from your usual tidy style. He knows you realized your feelings for Hyunjin and you're just trying to bury them without actually trying to understand them and he just doesn't know what to do to help you. Every time he tries talking about it, you'll brush it aside and tell him you're not in the mood for that.
The winter holidays come to you like a gift and a curse, you don't have lots of work to take care of so you can rest but you don't have lots of work to take care of so you don't have anything to distract yourself from your wandering thoughts, those ones that always end up on the same person.
You never thought it would be so hard to get over someone, in some way your brain probably knew that the moment you let someone walk past your walls it wouldn't be easy to undo the damage made. That's why you always run from Hyunjin, because it would be torturous to stay away from him after you let your feelings be known.
As the weeks go by, your anger subside a bit. You still can't forgive what he did but you miss him too much to still be mad. You were pretty confident in the first few weeks, concentrating all your energy in your classes and projects, trying to forget about him. However, the more time passed, the more you thought you actually liked him… way before the amortentia happened.
You two met each other in your first year, but you were children that didn't care about the opposite sex and it went like that till fifth year, when you two turned fifthteen and puberty just hit him like a truck over summer break. He came back taller, his voice changed a bit too and his facial expressions as a whole were sharper, more eye-catching than ever.
It wasn't different for Hyunjin, however you always caught his eye. When he was younger he thought you were cute for a girl and he has never been easy to impress. When you grew up you became so pretty he couldn't take his eyes out of you. That was the first time he ever asked someone out and the first time he was rejected, it really hurt his pride. And now, finishing your seventh year, it's the first time you're realizing that maybe he fell first but you fell harder.
The classes come back in the blink of an eye, you're not sure you're happy or sad about it since you don't know what to do with the whole Hyunjin situation.
It all gets worse when you see him in the corridor, he's looking around, fidgeting and you just know he's waiting for you.
You try walking past him, but he lifts his eyes as if he felt your presence and you see the corner of his mouth going downwards and his lips quivering.
"Can- can we talk?" He pleads, his voice shaking, it's too much for him to finally see you again, finally have you looking at him again.
You look down, trying to decide what to do and end up nodding, turning around and leading him to an empty classroom. He closes the door and watches as you wander around the class, brushing your fingers on the table's surface, avoiding looking at him.
"How are you?" He asks finally, after a few minutes of torturous, awkward silence.
"Just fine", you answer, looking at every piece of the room but not at him. You're afraid that if you look him in the eyes you're going to cave in and you just can't give in so easily.
"I'm having a really hard time", he tells you.
"Didn't ask", you stop in your tracks, annoyed with yourself because it hurts to be mean to him. "Let's get this over with", you manage to say, even though the ache in your chest is making it difficult to breathe.
He sighs, running his hands through his hair.
"I- I'm really sorry about what I did, y/n, can you please forgive me?" He begs and you finally turn around, trying to keep your cool, the anger is coming again and you feel your face hot.
"Are you asking me to forgive you for tampering with my feelings? Or for pulling this shit just because you're obsessed with something you can't have?"
He frowns, it's not like that, he knows that but clearly you don't.
"Y/N, I have wanted you all the same since the beginning. I can't have anyone else, not because I'm obsessed but because I'm in love with you", he takes a step towards you, "you make me feel alive, that's why I keep trying over and over again"
You're taken aback by the confession, so shocked you don't even notice how close he got to you in a few moments but you can't let him get away from this, not when your pride is involved.
"Do you think it's fair to make someone like you just because you like them? Would you ever have told me about what you did or would you keep me like a fucking toy until you were tired of playing with me?"
He stares at you for a moment, a desperate look on his face. He wasn't trying to hurt you. He was selfish, he knows that and you have the right to not want anything to do with him anymore, but he has to try earning you back.
"I know I shouldn't have gave you a love potion, I know it's wrong and I did know you wouldn't like having your feelings messed with", he takes one of your hands and puts it in his chest, right above his heart and for the first time since you found out about what he did, you don't want to pull your hand away from his touch. "I was going to tell you, I swear, I just wanted to make you really look at me and see it was worth giving me a chance", he smiles sadly, "you are right to hate me after what I did but if you do forgive me I swear that I'll make up for it every day of our lives and I'll make you happier than you ever thought could be possible. It's going to be my goal, my mission, the biggest of my ambitions"
You sigh, it hurts. Logically, you shouldn't forgive him. But love is not logical and you want to accept his proposal. You know it's dumb and you know it's risky but never in your life did you really make a choice that you wanted to. You had to be a good student so your teachers would like you, you had to behave so your family would be proud of you, you had to have good grades so your parents would be satisfied, because they told you you needed to have the greatest career and that became your dream, but you never stopped to think about what you really wanted.
"If you didn't use the potion, would you keep trying to win me over?" You whisper, trying to decide what answer to give him.
"Yes, probably forever. Until you threatened to kill me or married someone else", he smiles, "not going to assure you I wouldn't try stealing you from your partner, but that would hold me back a little", he chuckles.
You sigh, why must you like him so much?
"I swear I'll make you regret it if you ever use any magic on me again", you say through gritted teeth, glaring at him, "and I like the thing you said about making up for it our whole lives"
A big smile grows on his lips and you feel your cheeks getting hot, how can someone be this beautiful?
"Then, will you give me another chance?" He asks in a breath.
"I'll let you take me on a date and I'll decide after that"
He smiles widely, throwing his arms around you and kissing the top of your head.
"I'll make it be a yes", he whispers, squeezing you more in his embrace.
You know you'll forgive him completely soon, Hyunjin can't hide his emotions from you so you know he's telling the truth but you sure as hell are not going to make it easy for him.
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runnning-outof-time · 5 months
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K! I'm sorry this is so late, but congratulations on 3.5K! I'm so happy for you and there's no one more deserving of such a milestone. I'll always be in your corner. Here's to the next 3.5K! 🥳🥂
For the 3 word list, could you do #23 - “You’re bleeding, (name).” - with Tommy? Thank you and congratulations again!
(1 of 2)
Thanks for sending this in and for your kind words, Bri! I’m sorry it took me a bit to write this for you. I just had to get some season 5 Tommy in here (even though the hype has surely died down by now). Enjoy! :)
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
Part of my 3.5k Celebration - find more stories here!
Sometimes It’s Still Required
Tommy Shelby x Reader
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Warnings: mentions of blood, drinking, a terrible summary
Word Count: 916
Summary: (Y/N) finds Tommy sitting at her vanity one evening.
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(Y/N) Shelby found her husband in the last place she expected him: sitting at the vanity, which was usually reserved for her, in their master bedroom. He had his palms rested on his knees and his gaze was cast down onto the floor.
She shut the door and proceeded towards him with caution.
“I didn’t expect to find you in here,” she said when she was a few steps away from him, making herself known before she was right behind him. Tommy lifted his gaze and turned slightly to find his wife approaching him. He didn’t say anything, just nodded to show that he heard her. “Calling it an early night?” she asked a question as she stopped behind him.
“It was a long day,” he answered her indirectly, reaching forward to grab the glass of whiskey so that he could take a healthy drink from it.
“Is there anything that I can do for you?” (Y/N) asked as she set her hands on his shoulders and pressed her fingers into his shirt-covered skin.
“No,” his answer came like a breath. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back against his wife’s midsection, thankful to spend some time with her after the hectic day he had.
(Y/N) looked down at him with a soft smile. She was thankful that she could have one of these quiet moments with him. He’d been away for a lot of the days now that he had to be present in Parliament and out among his constituents.
Silence filled the room as (Y/N) continued with massaging his shoulders, trying her best to get the noticeable knots out. The silence persisted until Tommy brought his hand up to run across his face. (Y/N) happened to be looking down at the time, and what she saw surprised her - even though it shouldn’t have at this point.
“You’re bleeding, Tommy,” she commented on the red splotches that were scattered across the back of his hand. She could even see some on the white cuffs of his dress shirt.
“‘S not my blood, love,” Tommy didn’t even open his eyes to take a look at what his wife was talking about.
A sigh left (Y/N)’s lips before she could stop it. The sound of it made Tommy open his eyes. (Y/N) looked down at him with a frown before she explained the reason behind her initial response: “I thought you were finished with that kind of stuff, Tommy,” she said, hating that there was disappointment present in her tone.
“Sometimes it’s still required,” he responded, brushing her concern off.
“Tommy…”
It was obvious that that wasn’t the response she wanted to hear. Tommy lifted his head and turned slightly on the chair so that he could look at her. “Hey, it wasn’t anything serious. Arthur cut his hand on the bar and needed help cleanin’ it up,” he acted quick on his feet and came up with a story of how the blood got on his hand.
(Y/N) pursed her lips. She knew that that wasn’t really what happened. She’d been with Tommy long enough to know that there could have been one hundred explanations for the blood. Usually she would dig to find the correct answer. But she wasn’t in the mood tonight. Tonight she was just thankful that he made it home.
“Are you going to clean it up?” she asked after a few moments had passed. A look flashed across Tommy’s face. It was almost as though he was surprised that she’d let the matter rest.
“I will,” he nodded in response.
“Now?” she asked for specifics.
“When I get ready for bed.”
“Which will be now?” she still wasn’t satisfied with the answer he’d given her.
“Soon, love,” he told her, a smile tugging the right corner of his lips upwards as he stood from the chair and turned to face her. She kept her hands rested on his shoulders as he secured his to the sides of her waist.
The couple stared lovingly at each other, basking in the warmth that their bodies were giving off.
“I love you,” Tommy mumbled then, breaking the reverie surrounding them. If there had been any other noise in the room, she would have missed his three word phrase, but she heard him loud and clear in the silence.
“I love you,” (Y/N) responded, repeating what he’d just said to her, “I just wish you’d leave the blood in the past,” she added, sending him a pointed look after she spoke.
Tommy chuckled at her expression, leaning in to press his lips to hers in a languid kiss. “It’ll be left in the past,” he whispered against her lips before pressing his back to them, so as to seal the ‘promise’.
The look was still present on (Y/N)’s face when they pulled away, although it wasn’t as prevalent as before. She knew that this was something that he couldn’t wholeheartedly promise to her. There would always be a chance that he would have blood on his hands…it just came with the paths he chose. But right now she chose to take him at his word.
“Go wash up,” she said to him, jerking her head in the direction of the bathroom as a soft smile formed on her face.
“Ok,” he breathed, leaning in and stealing one last kiss from her before he let her go for the bathroom.
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Tags will be added in separate reblogs so that hopefully they get sent out
MASTERLIST
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ashwhowrites · 7 months
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I know your request are closed, so please feel free to take your time on this one. You are the best at angsty, so I had to come to the queen. Reader and Eddie have never been close friends, but have always been very flirty and soft with one another. After the kids join Hellfire, and Eddie starter hanging out with the crew, they grow closer sometimes hanging out one on one to smoke and stuff. But neither makes a move despite obviously being in love with one another. Eddie has been some what quite, and one night hanging with the crew he shows up with another girl that he met at the hideout. Reader is more quite towards him that evening, and it's killing Eddie because even having another girl he still puts mainly his attention on Reader and can't stop looking at her. You can finish it however you want my love!
Hi! So I did really like this idea so I kept it, but please in the future - keep all requests locked up until my inbox is open :) I'll be happy to write them out once my box is open. I feel more respected that way <3
I hope this is what you were looking for and that you like it :)
All we needed was communication
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Y/N wasn't sure where she stood with Eddie. They had a friendship, but they weren't best friends. They didn't have deep conversations and knew everything about each other. They had more of a flirty situation. She found him incredibly attractive, and she voiced that out multiple times. She wasn't afraid to flirt with him, just more afraid to ask what he thought about her. And ask him out.
They hang out alone, they smoke, and watch movies. She thought having that time alone would give Eddie the chance to make a move or just do something. But he never did.
Y/N was with the hellfire group as they waited for Eddie to show up. It was strange for him to be running late to their Friday dinners. Y/N chatted with Gareth as the younger boys suck down their drinks and goof around. She was mid-story when she caught Eddie, but he wasn't alone.
"Hey boys, Y/N." He greeted them with a big smile, sliding into the booth across from her. A girl on his arm, as she slid next to him, across from Gareth. Dustin scooted away in a silent protest when she sat beside him.
The group fell silent upon seeing the new stranger. All for different reasons, or maybe they all knew Y/N's night was ruined.
"This is Hydi, and Hydi this is hellfire!" He greeted me, he sounded so excited and it crushed Y/N. But she put on a small smile and tried her best to welcome the new girl. The rest of the group slowly greeted her and then went back to their conversation.
"So where did you come from?" Gareth asked, a light tone in his voice, as he kicked Eddie from across the table. Eddie flinched and glared.
"Sorry, I was picking up Hydi but her house was harder to find than the other night," Eddie explained, opening his menu as Hyde looked over his shoulder. Y/N was trying not to look and stare. But that girl was close enough to smell his cheap cologne and the smell of his shampoo. She's resting on his leather jacket, her body able to make contact with his. Y/N was jealous and she could taste it on her tongue.
"Well, last time I was there to help." Hydi giggled, and Eddie laughed with her. Like their little inside joke was comedic cold. A smirk on his face as he winked at her, throwing his arm around her. He scooted down in the seat, spreading his legs further apart. Y/N felt herself staring. She always found him attractive. But the way he sat with dominance and confidence wiped her mind clean. She felt herself craving to place her hand on his thigh, imagining sitting next to him. But reality set in when Hydi 's hand made contact with his dick. Y/N jumped and looked away instantly.
She almost felt like she was going to be sick, but didn't need the extra attention on her. Gareth looked at her worriedly, "Y/N, you okay?"
The concern in his voice caused Eddie to snap his eyes at her. The same look as Gareth.
"Yeah! I'm okay." She said, nodding to convince them further. But they weren't convinced. Eddie kept his eyes on her when the table ordered, when everyone was eating, and when the bill came.
She felt squirmy all night. His eyes locked on her so intently was giving her goosebumps. She just didn't know if they were good goosebumps or bad ones. But she knew her heart hurt watching his date. She was gorgeous, and she hated how great she looked on Eddie's arm. Y/N would never look great with him like that.
But her heart raced at the way he was locked on her and just her. Hydi was a lost thought in his head for the rest of the night. Every word went unheard as Eddie stared Y/N down.
She took a deep breath of fresh air when she made it back to her house. Thankful that she could escape from the world.
But it didn't last. Within the next hour, Eddie was at her house and pounding at her window.
She covered herself with a blanket as she walked to her window. She wanted to be selfish and make him leave, but in the end, he didn't do anything wrong.
"What are you doing here?" She asked as he sat on her bed.
"You were a ghost throughout dinner. I wasn't going to just ignore that." Eddie said, his voice stern. "Talk to me."
"I was just caught off by Hydi, but that's all!" She explained she did not want it to be a big deal.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know...I feel like we've been flirting and stuff. Then you showed up with someone." She shrugged
"She isn't anything and she won't be," Eddie explained. "It was dumb to bring her around. I don't have a good reason. I'm sorry for putting that on you. I enjoyed our flirting but I just didn't know if you did it because you liked me or because it was fun. I guess I wanted to see if I could move on and forget about it."
"I enjoyed our flirting too. I was hoping you'd make a move or something. And now I'm confused about how you felt after seeing you with Hydi" She explained
"I still like you, and knowing you like me and have been wanting me to make a move. I wish I knew before I messed it up. I would have kissed you." Eddie admitted. "I'm sorry for not communicating with you and making dumb decisions instead."
"I appreciate your apology. I should have talked to you about how I felt. I think we both messed up a bit." Y/N smiled. She couldn't be mad at him, neither know where they stood.
"But I'd pick you." He said, stepping closer.
"Maybe you can try that kiss now?" Y/N said, stepping into him
Eddie smiled and pressed his lips against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and shuddered as she felt his arms wrapping around her waist. His hand slipped to land on her ass as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. The kiss got heated fast, and Eddie walked her to the bed. Both fell on it as his tongue worked against hers. His hands went to slip under her shirt, and that's when she stopped him.
"Wait!" She gasped, he pulled back immediately,
"Shit, what's wrong?" He panicked
"Are you and Hydi still a thing?"
"Fuck no. She dumped me the second we left the restaurant. Said it was disrespectful to look at you the way I was." Eddie laughed
"You were staring." She giggled
"shut up." He teased, smashing his lips back on hers.
Tags!
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