#I'm still young in my mid 20s so I'm not worried about anything else | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jenstar1992-2 · 3 years

Text

A Love Destined

Pairing: Rex x Jedi! Reader

Warnings: Gender neutral use of the term "sir", canon typical violence (think that's it for this chapter)

Word Count: 4,004

A/N: Planning on making this series a long one so if you're down then strap in. Also, while I will never outright express Reader's age, I'm thinking she's around 18 or 19 at the beginning of the war, meaning she'll be in her early to mid-20's by the end of it. Not that it's super important to the story line or anything, just thought I'd mention it at least once. In addition, there will be some NSFW content in this series at some point, and throughout later chapters, but I will be putting warnings for each individual chapter in their headers so you will see it coming before it does if you'd like to skip those bits. If it occurs in only part of the chapter, I will do my best to accurately label it and section it off to make it easier to bypass. I try to be considerate; I know not everyone's mind is as filthy as mine, and I can respect that. Umm, yeah that's it, hope you all enjoy! 😊

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*Not my gif*

Chapter 1

Kamino, you’d never heard of the planet before today, but here you were accompanying Masters Di and Yoda to said planet. Your master, Ima-Gun Di, had told you, you were going there to pick up the army that would aid you all in the rescue mission on Geonosis, and other such battles in the foreseeable future.

"An army, since when do the jedi have an army", you asked your master, standing beside him as you both looked out to the watery planet you were fast approaching.

"It is not the jedi's army, it is the army of the Republic. We are simply being allowed to utilize it in our fight against the Separatists", your master replied.

"Oh... so is it true what Master Yoda said about the soldiers?" Your interest had peaked when the old master had first informed you of this massive army that had been created in almost complete secrecy. He had mentioned that the men that made up this army were not your typical soldiers.

"Is what true Padawan", Ima asked, turning his head to look at you, noting the child-like curiosity that lay within your eyes. He wondered if you'd ever grow out of that, but he also couldn't help the fondness he felt when you bestowed him with that look, and the innocence behind it.

"I mean, is it true that they're all, you know... clones", you said the term in a low voice, almost as if you didn't want anyone else to hear. You weren't sure why it was such a hard detail to grasp, maybe because until today you had never heard of anyone successfully cloning another living being, and now all of a sudden there were millions of them walking around?

"That is what Master Kenobi told the council. Do you doubt his honesty my young padawan", he asked, playfully raising an eyebrow, he already knew the answer you would give.

"N-no, of course not Master, it's just...", your words tapered off as you tried to think of the proper response, "I'll just believe it when I see it is all. I mean, a clone army? Master even you have to admit it sounds a little far-fetched."

Ima smiled at your comment, you were never one to believe in hear-say, you always had to have proof to fully believe something as fact. He still wasn't sure if this was a strength or a weakness, but it was how you were, and he just had to hope that it would work to your advantage in the long run. "It may seem like a stretch, I'll admit, but whether these men are clones or not all that matters is that they are our allies and should be treated as such. Do you understand?"

You nodded. "Yes Master, I will give them the respect they deserve, clone or otherwise."

Ima gave you a single nod before looking back to the planet ahead. "Good. You may be close to knighthood young one, but you are still my padawan, and your actions reflect upon myself. So don't make me look bad", he said with a grin that told you he wasn't really all that worried.

You smiled as you said, "Wouldn't dream of it Master."

***

You had picked up the men that would accompany you to Geonosis and were currently exiting the ship with them marching behind you. Once the groups were assigned and everyone was split up accordingly, you and Master Di took your group of men to the waiting gunship, which would then take you to the arena where Master Kenobi was being held. Apparently, his padawan and the senator from Naboo were being held there as well. A failed rescue attempt you predicted. Well, this one wouldn't fail, you had enough back up to be sure of that.

You were standing beside your master inside the now airborne gunship. Your curiosity had not simmered completely, and you caught yourself constantly glancing over to the soldiers on the opposite side of the transport. This went on for a short time until you couldn't take it anymore. You looked back to your master, who was too busy speaking with one of the men to notice you. You couldn't hear what was being said over the sounds of the ship's engine and the wind around you, but you were sure it was a conversation that would keep his attention for a little while, so now was your chance.

With a determined gait and a quick foot, you made your way across the short distance to the other side of the ship. You walked to one of the men, clad in the same white armor as most of the other soldiers you'd seen, he was holding one of the supports hanging above his head and starring out the side of the ship, watching the planet's landscape pass below. You tentatively spoke, trying to get his attention. "Umm, excuse me, uh, trooper?"

He quickly broke out of the trance he was in and turned to you, instantly standing at attention. "Yes sir", he said stoically.

You were taken aback for a moment, not used to this kind of reaction. "Oh, umm, at ease soldier." You felt silly saying it, but you figured it would get you the quickest results, which you were right about. He took a more casual stance and grabbed the handle above his head once more to keep himself steady in the lightly jostling aircraft. "I was just wondering if I could ask you something", you said, feeling a bit shy all of a sudden.

"Of course, what can I help you with sir", he asked.

"Well, I was just wondering, are you all really, umm, clones", you asked hesitantly.

He didn't so much as waver before firmly answering, "Yes sir."

You raised your eyebrows. "Really? So, you're all identical under there", you asked, pointing to his helmet.

"Yes sir", he repeated.

You cocked your head slightly to the side. "Huh, fascinating, I didn't think such a thing could be done, and on such a wide scale." You couldn't help your intrigue, this was something new, something unheard of, and you found yourself with so many questions, but before you could ask them, you had to be absolutely sure. "Could... could I see?"

Before he could answer a hand clamped on your shoulder, causing you to jump slightly and spin around. Your master stood in front of you, a disappointed look on his face. "Padawan, what are you doing", he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Master, I, I was just...", you tried to explain, but he cut you off.

"It seems as though you are doing the very thing I asked you not to do. I told you to show these men respect. They are here to aid us in this rescue, not to feed your curiosity", he stated bluntly.

"I know that Master, it's just... I was", you paused to let out a light sigh, "I'm sorry."

Ima straightened his stance, looking down at you with a serious expression. "I'm not the one you should apologize to."

A look of realization flashed across your features before you quickly turned back to the trooper, bowing your head slightly once you were facing him. "Forgive me, I did not mean to disrespect you. I shouldn't have asked that, and I meant nothing by it. I was being childish, and I apologize", you said in quick succession, feeling a bit embarrassed by your actions, not to mention being called out for them so blatantly, but your master was right and you were sorry.

The trooper just stared at you, not ever really receiving an apology before, he didn't know how to respond. Besides, you were merely curious, he saw nothing wrong with that, but when he looked to your master behind you and was given a short nod, he knew he should accept it anyway, for your sake.

"It's quite alright sir, no harm done", he finally said.

This seemed to be good enough for the jedi because he then placed a hand on your shoulder once more, albeit not as heavily as before. "Now, can I trust you to keep your word this time", he asked you.

"Yes Master", you said with a nod.

"Alright then", he responded and began to walk away. He then paused and turned to look at you over his shoulder. "And remember Apprentice, you are to be tested soon. If you wish to pass the trials, you must show that you are ready to become a jedi knight, so it might do you good to start acting like one", he said before continuing to walk to his previous position.

You gave a heavy sigh before turning to face the landscape outside. You stood in silence for a moment, only hearing the noises of the gunship around you. You then turned your head in the direction of the trooper next to you. "I really am sorry", you said, your disappointment with yourself evident in your tone.

He looked to you. "It's okay, really. You were just curious; can't say I blame you. I take it clones aren't that commonplace throughout the rest of the galaxy", he asked.

You shook your head. "No, not really, and if there are others outside of Kamino who are cloning I sure haven't heard about it. To be honest, before today I thought it was just a myth. Never thought it could be a reality", you said incredulously.

"I guess we proved you wrong then sir", he said, and you wondered if he was grinning under that bucket on his head.

You grinned. "Hm, maybe, but I guess I'll just have to take your word for it, at least until I can know for sure."

"Well, I can prove it if you'd like", he said before reaching for his helmet.

You raised your hands in defense. "No, no, that's not necessary. If we are to work as an effective team then we'll have to trust each other, even if it's just at our word, and I trust you."

He lowered his hand, and just stared at you for a moment before speaking. "With all due respect sir, you just met me, how do you know I'm not lying", he asked.

You chuckled quietly. "Fair point, but I'm pretty good at reading people, and right now your force signature is telling me all I need to know in order to believe what your saying is true, at least it’s what you believe to be true, and that’s good enough for me."

"My what sir”, he asked, confused.

"Your force signature, everyone has one, it's like the life force within you, it's what connects you to everything around you, and what makes you, well, you. It's also the reason I was hesitant to believe you before."

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand how the two relate."

"Well, it's simple really. You say you're all the same, but when I feel you all through the force, your signatures are all very different. So, you may be the same on the outside, but I can't say the same for who you all are on the inside."

The trooper thought on this for a moment. "But sir, I never said we only shared an outer appearance, we share the same blood as well, so technically we aren't so different on the inside either", he stated.

You cocked an eyebrow and were about to tell him to not take your words so literally when you sensed something from him. It was a light feeling, like the feeling you get when you're holding in a laugh and your chest starts to tickle. He was messing with you.

"Was… was that your attempt at a joke", you asked.

He turned his head to avoid your gaze. "Maybe."

This was something you hadn't expected, but it was a welcome surprise for sure, and you were glad to see that these guys could loosen up if they really wanted to. Thank goodness, you hated constant stoicism, you got enough of that from some of the jedi back at the temple, acting as if cracking a smile once in a while would cause them to completely break altogether. So, when this previously stoic trooper made an actual joke, even though it wasn't exactly a good one, you couldn't help but laugh.

His head turned quickly toward you again, and if you had to guess you'd say he was surprised by your reaction. This seemed to subside rather quickly though because before you knew it, he was joining you with a soft laugh of his own. That's when you realized that you liked it, the sound of his laugh, his voice, it almost had a soothing effect on you, one you were surprised you hadn't noticed earlier.

Your laughter died down, but the smile stayed on your lips, and without another thought you extended your hand to him. "I'm (Y/N) by the way." He looked at your outstretched hand for a few seconds before turning to face you completely and taking it with his own, shaking it firmly once. You two stood there looking at one another, hands still connected for a time before you realized how awkward this must look. "And you, what's your name", you asked, finally withdrawing your hand, albeit a bit reluctantly.

"My designation is CT- 7567", he said.

You furrowed your eyebrows, giving him a genuinely confused expression. "Umm, you do know that's a number, not a name, right?"

"It's the only title I've ever been given sir", he said matter-of-factly.

You felt a pang of sympathy at this, but tried to keep it out of your voice, not wanting to insult him in any way. "Oh, well then, it's nice to meet you CT- 7... uh, I'm sorry, what was it again", you asked a bit sheepishly.

He chuckled, barely audible, but you heard it. "7567", he repeated.

"Right, I'll try to remember that", you said, giving him a small smile, knowing full well you wouldn't remember it.

"We're here", you heard your master shout from somewhere behind you. You turned to look at him over your shoulder and he sent you a nod, his way of telling you to be strong and fight well. You returned the gesture, silently confirming you would, before turning back to the trooper.

"So, you ready", you asked.

"This is what I was made for sir, I'll always be ready", he responded.

Something about his answer didn't sit well with you, but you had no time to dwell on it now. Detaching your lightsaber from your hip, you held it in a defensive position without igniting it just yet. "I've got your six if you've got mine", you tell him with a grin.

He raised the blaster he'd been holding in his other hand, so it was now pointing skyward. "Sounds good to me", he said, and with that you were off, both jumping the now short distance down and joining the fight that had already started on the ground.

***

You had kept to your word, and he to his. You fought side by side, blasting and slicing droids left and right. He was a good shot; you'd give him that. The droids began to thin in numbers as the fighting moved to outside the arena, and a gunship came to retrieve you and the other survivors, taking you to the battlefield, where the fighting continued.

Finally, it looked like the battle was nearly over, to your great relief. You watched as your master took down three droids in a row and then scanned your surroundings for your new comrade. You spot him almost right away; you feel it's him more than see it. He noticed your gaze and looked to you, giving you a reassuring nod that he was still with you. You grinned to him, the expression quickly morphing to one of alarm as you noticed a droid that had, had its legs severed lift itself up on one of its arms and raise it’s blaster with the other, aiming it right at your trooper. You moved on instinct, running toward him and yelling, "CT- 7...", you made a sound of frustration, "Seven, behind you."

He turned around just in time to see the droid before it fired, leaping to the ground, just barely avoiding the shot. You ran past him and decapitated the scrawny machine.

"Nice try you oversized tin can", you said smugly toward the fallen droid.

"Thanks for that", you heard the man say from behind you. You turned, about to spout a snarky comment on how you said you'd promised to have his six and you were a woman of your word, until your eyes landed on an unexpected sight. In his attempt to dodge the blaster shot he had hit the ground with enough force to knock his helmet right off his head, leaving him bare faced in front of you now. The first thing you noticed were his eyes, they were bright and intense, but held a softness you hadn't anticipated, but was endearing, nonetheless. His skin was a lovely tan color you could only describe as being sun kissed and complimented his dark hair nicely. His features were sharp and well defined, almost as if he'd been sculpted by an artist of the highest caliber. You found yourself wanting to glide your hands over them, feeling every curve, and you wondered how that strong jaw would feel under your fingertips.

You couldn't seem to form the words you'd wanted to say, instead your mouth moved of its own accord. "Woah, Seven you're...", you started before realizing what you were about to say and letting the rest die on your tongue, lest you embarrass yourself for a second time that day.

He gave you a confused look, "I'm what sir?"

You felt your cheeks growing warm. "Welcome", you forced out, shaking yourself internally and coming back to your senses. Clearing your throat, you said, "What I meant to say was your welcome." That was a close one.

He nodded and picked up the fallen helmet, fixing it back into place over his head, much to your disappointment, and you both walked back to where your master and the rest of your men were regrouping after the battle had finally ceased.

***

The trip back to Coruscant was much quieter than your ride to the arena had been, mainly due to you not wanting to accidentally say something you'd regret and feel stupid for later. You felt like you couldn't fully control your own functions around this man, which was such an odd feeling, so unfamiliar, it almost worried you.

When you'd finally arrived, you didn't waste time exiting the ship and meeting the others in the hangar. Obi-Wan’s padawan, Anakin, had been sent off to get medical attention after their duel with Dooku, apparently, he got hurt pretty bad, but he'd live. You considered yourself lucky to come out of the battle with only a few cuts and bruises. When you turned your attention to your master, he was already looking at you. He came to stand in front of you as the rest of the jedi dispersed to whatever duties they had just been assigned; you had tuned that part out. Ima placed his hands on your shoulders and looked down at you. "You did well my young padawan, you fought valiantly, and you defended your men diligently, you will make a fine jedi knight (Y/N)", he said with a kind smile.

You returned the smile and said, "Thank you Master, all due to your teachings."

He removed one hand and patted your shoulder with the other. "Now, I believe that's enough excitement for you for one day, you should rest. I will go to the temple, they are going to begin assigning jedi generals to the groups of troopers, I will let you know more tomorrow once I know what this means for us."

"Yes Master, thank you", you responded. He gave you one more smile before walking in the direction of the jedi temple.

"So, I guess this is goodbye for now", a voice behind you made you jump. Spinning around you saw that it was your trooper friend.

"Seven, geez, you startled me", you told him, placing a hand over your pounding heart, although you weren't sure if it was due entirely to the slight scare, seeing as he was now without a helmet once again, giving your eyes access to his handsome face. How the heck did he have such an effect on you, you had met handsome men before and never had this problem, why was this one different, you weren't sure, but you didn't necessarily hate the feeling you got when gazing into those mesmerizing eyes of his.

"Sorry sir, wasn't my intention", he said, a silent chuckle playing on his lips. "I just wanted to give you a proper goodbye and thank you once again for what you did out there, I owe you my life, I won't forget that."

You gave him a kind smile. "Please, you don't owe me anything", you told him.

"But I do sir, you could've easily let me die out there, it is what we were made for after all, but you didn't, and... I'm grateful", he said, looking to his feet, almost like he was doing something he shouldn't.

Your eyes widened at his words, is that seriously how he felt? "I may not know much about this whole cloning thing, but I can tell you that you were not made just to die, no one is put into this galaxy just to die, and everyone has something to stay living for. I saved you because you deserved to be saved, and I'd happily do it again", you said, trying to keep your smile from turning to one of pity, that's not what he needed right now.

He looked up to meet your eyes, starring for a long moment with a discernable expression. "Thank you", he finally said.

You nodded and extended your hand for one last handshake, not knowing what else to offer him. He accepted the gesture, and you shook hands. This time you noticed the heat bouncing from his hand to yours and vice versa, you tried to ignore what that did to your scattered thoughts. Once you were able to pull your hand away you turned and started walking away to begin your trek to the temple. After a few steps, however, you had a thought and turned back to face the retreating trooper. "Hey Seven", you shouted to him, causing him to turn on his heel to look at you. "I was thinking, you might want to consider adopting a nickname, would make addressing you much easier."

He grinned before saying, "Thought I already had one."

You shook your head. "Mm, Seven's great and all, but it doesn't really suit you", you said.

"And what does suit me", he asked.

You chuckled. "Unfortunately, I don't have all the answers. You'll have to figure that one out for yourself", you said, giving him a small shrug.

He chuckled at this, and you felt that strange feeling in your stomach again at the sound. "I'll keep that in mind", he said, still smiling.

You nodded and raised your hand in a small wave, he followed suit. You turned and began walking back to your quarters once more. The only thoughts that kept you company on your walk were the memories of his laugh flowing through your eardrums, the way he had looked at you with that intense, yet soft, stare, and that smile. The thought crossed your mind before you could stop it from forming, What I wouldn’t give to see that smile every day, you thought. The possibility was there, you reasoned. Master Di did say that the Jedi were being assigned troopers, maybe you would get to see him sooner than you thought. Force willing.

You nodded and raised your hand in a small wave, he followed suit. You turned and began walking back to your quarters once more. The only thoughts that kept you company on your walk were the memories of his laugh flowing through your eardrums, the way he had looked at you with that intense, yet soft, stare, and that smile. The thought crossed your mind before you could stop it from forming, "What I wouldn't give to see that smile every day". The possibility was there, you reasoned, Master Di did say that the jedi were being assigned troopers, maybe you would get to see him sooner than you thought. Force willing.

#captain rex x reader #captain rex x jedi reader #rex x reader #rex x jedi reader #rex x fem reader #captain rex pairing #captain rex x y/n #captain rex #Rex #star wars x reader #clone wars x reader #fanfiction #clone troopers #star wars #star wars the clone wars #a love destined series #multi-chapter

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spicymayo1983 · 3 years

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Hiya. This is chapter 20, the finale to this series. After welcoming your miracle baby girl you have the family that you've always wanted.

Two gorgeous kids, a loving husband, what more could you ask for?

Will this be the happy ending you've always wanted or will fate deal you another cruel blow?

Warnings, angst, smut, squirting, female receiving oral sex, not for anyone under 18.

20+years earlier, Yavin 4

Even as teenagers you had always sensed that there was a deep bond between you and Poe.

It was a unique bond that transcended time. It felt almost mystical. Surreal in a truly beautiful way.

Your parents never tried to discourage your relationship because even they knew, and could see, the tender love that was shared between the two of you.

It was a love that truly only came around once in a lifetime.

Late one night you're tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep, when you hear a gentle knock at your bedroom window.

You immediately turn on your bedside lamp, and see the smiling face of your boyfriend.

You jump out of bed and open the window. You grab his arm and pull him inside your room.

"What are you doing here you dork? It's almost 4 in the morning". You tease with a slight laugh as you help him up.

"I sensed that you couldn't sleep, so I brought you these". Poe replied softly with a slight smile as he presented you with a small bouquet of freshly picked wildflowers.

"Oh Poe, that's so sweet". You tell him with a smile as you plant a soft kiss on his lips. "You're truly something else".

"Let's sneak out and go to our favorite spot". Poe whispered into you ear as he kissed your neck. "I want to cuddle you and look at the stars".

You quickly get dressed and the two of you quietly sneak out of your bedroom window.

Once at the spot overlooking the ancient temple the two of you relax on the damp, cool grass.

It seemed like there were a million stars in the sky that night.

You playfully climb on top of Poe and start to kiss him. The two of you roll around a little, making out and playfully wrestling.

Poe finally pinned you down, with a giggle you say,

"Oh no, looks like you win, what do you want the prize to be?"

"You". Poe replied quickly, smiling wickedly and passionately kissing you on the lips.

You unbutton your shirt a little, revealing your bare breasts. The tightness in a particular area of his pants betrays the fact that Poe is more than ready for you.

Poe kissed all the way down to your bellybutton, you removed the belt to your pants and he unzipped them for you, revealing your soaked panties.

With a quick kick your pants are off and on the ground. His head immediately went between your legs and he started to lick your clit through your underwear, making you close your eyes and cuss.

Poe slid three fingers inside of your tight hole as he nibbled on and sucked your swollen clit.

Your underwear quickly came off next.

It must have been a combination of the cool, damp grass against your bare skin and the intense pleasure he was treating your body to but you could feel your legs start to tremble and shake.

Your tightness gripped onto his fingers, gave them a squeeze and then gushed warm fluid all over him.

"Wow". Poe said softly as he gently removed his fingers from inside your body, softly stroking your clit and inner lips with his thumb. "That was really hot".

As your legs continued to tremble Poe began to lick your inner lips, teasing and pulling on them gently with his soft lips.

As you relaxed on the cool grass, nude and looking up at the millions of stars, Poe took his clothes off and climbed on top of you.

Because you were so wet his thick cock slid easily inside of your warmth.

"Poe". You whimper softly, closing your eyes and savoring the pleasurable sensation of your bodies connected together.

"I love you forever". Poe whispered into your ear as he leaned down and gave your neck a playful nibble.

Afterwards, just as he had promised, Poe cuddled with you under the stars.

As he's holding you tight in his strong arms you kiss him and ask,

"How did you know that I couldn't sleep?"

"I don't know". Poe replied with a laugh as he kissed you back. "That's what is so weird about it".

Present day

Whenever you're not doing well your mind wanders off and you recount the delightful memories with Poe.

You were able to return home with your baby girl two days later.

You're sore, and exhausted and weak, unbelievably weak. You can barely muster enough energy to even roll over on your back.

Poe was worried about you, this wasn't normal and he could sense it.

It was almost like you were slowly fading away, keeping your eyes open was a difficult task, it was like your body was finally giving up.

Poe had been taking care of his newborn daughter and now nearly 5 year old son by himself and he was at the end of his rope.

Your friend Esmaria came over to help.

"Poe, how is she doing?" She immediately asked.

"Not very well". Poe explained, with tears in his eyes as he snuggled his infant daughter. "She can barely move or keep her eyes open".

"I'm sure she'll be okay". Esmaria told him as she gave Poe a hug.

"I think we need to get her back to the doctor". Poe explained as he continued to snuggle little Kya, giving her a little kiss on the forehead. "But she's being hard headed and won't go".

"Ugh, typical y/n". Esmaria told him with a deep sigh as she shook her head a little. "I think she's just depressed after having the baby".

Poe pulled up a chair next to your bedside and held your hand in his. The look on his face was a mixture of heartache and worry.

"Are you feeling any better?" Poe asked, leaning down and kissing you softly on the forehead.

"Not really". You reply weakly, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" He asked again, tears streaming down his face. "Anything to make you more comfortable?"

"Poe, I think this is it". You tell him tearfully. "I think I'm dying".

"No, no, don't say that". He replied back quickly, shaking his head as he kissed your frail hand. "It can't be, it won't be, we can get you back to the doctor".

"I love you Poe". You tell him softly as you struggled to keep your eyes open. "I love our son and daughter too. Take care of them for me".

"Please don't leave us". Poe begged softly as he continued to hold your hand. "We were supposed to grow old together, remember?"

With a weak smile on your face you mouth I love you to your husband one last time as you close your eyes and drift away forever.

Ten years later

"What was mom like? Dad?"

"She looked a lot like you, I guess, with a different hair and eye color".

It was a full decade since you died. Poe was with your now 10 year old daughter in Yavin 4, who looked a lot like you only with her father's hair, skin and eye color.

Kya was 3 days old when you passed away. The older she got the more she would ask questions about her mother.

Poe told her what he could, but it was still extremely difficult to talk about you. He thought about you, his soulmate, constantly, and wondered what you would be like today.

Poe was in his mid 50's now, his once dark hair was mostly gray except for a few stray strands.

He had fully embraced the silver fox look and had aged gracefully. Poe was very distinguished looking.

He was still the leader of the black squadron.

Boe was a handsome, muscular 15 year old who was the direct image of his father. He was also into flying, adventure and getting into a little bit of trouble.

The girls loved him but he didn't have one steady girlfriend yet.

Kya was a beautiful, intelligent 10 year old whose interests included music and writing. She was a quiet introvert.

Esmaria, your best friend, had become Poe's second wife. She was an excellent stepmother and your children loved her.

Poe was visiting your grave with Kya. He was attempting to tell her all about you but it was still difficult for him.

He felt like half of his soul was gone. Poe loved Esmaria yes, but to him it was a different kind of love.

It lacked the passion, depth and intensity that the two of you had shared.

Kya went off by herself, leaving her father alone at your burial site.

"I miss you everyday". Poe confessed tearfully as he leaned down to clean off your headstone. "It still hurts like it was yesterday".

"Thank you for the beautiful kids, they're a pain in the ass sometimes but most of the time they're great". Poe continued, laughing a little. "Kya looks just like you, she's beautiful. Boe looks like me".

He left your family cemetery and headed to your favorite spot that overlooked the rainforest and temple.

Poe relaxed on the cool grass and with tears in his eyes imagined you next to him, cuddling him, kissing him.

When he opened his eyes you were right there, a figment of his imagination perhaps? But it looked so much like you.

Your image was solid, just like a real person. And your skin was soft and warm.

The memories came flooding back. The Summer days spent as teenagers, him consoling you after losing your parents, the day he found out that he was going to be a father.

You looked young, beautiful and healthy. Poe leaned over and kissed you tenderly, and with a huge smile on his face said,

"Y/n, things haven't been the same without you, I think about you every day".

"Poe, I didn't want to leave but I was sick and my body gave out". You explained, smiling a little. "I'm no longer in pain now".

"We were supposed to grow old together but I'm the only one that got old". Poe told you with a slight laugh.

"It isn't fair".

"I have to go now". You told him as you shared a final kiss. "But please tell Esmaria thank you for raising our children".

"I will". Poe told you with a weak smile as he stroked your soft cheek. "Goodbye".

With those final words you are gone again. The tears continued to stream down his face as he realized that you weren't coming back.

"Dad! There you are! We were looking all over for you".

The tranquil calm was interrupted by Boe and Kya, who had been looking for their father all afternoon.

Boe gave his father a huge bear hug, with a slight smile on his face Poe told them,

"I needed some alone time, I hope you kids didn't get into any trouble".

"Nah dad, I was just showing Ky around the temple". Boe replied quickly, smiling a little. "I think we're ready to go now".

Poe hugged his daughter tight, smiled and said,

"Your mother would be so proud of you two".

The end

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #star wars #poe dameron smut #star wars smut #poe dameron x you #poe dameron imagine #fanfic smut #fanfiction #fanfic

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diningpageantry · 5 years

Text

Dances

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18672919/chapters/44712844

Chapter 3/12 of Proximity (The Collision of Lonely Men)

Word Count: 2019

Chapter Summary: School events dig up old scars for both Simon and Baz alike.

The room reeks of fresh linoleum flooring and teenage cologne. It's bright--the lights fade in and out of aggressive tints of pinks and blues and greens. I don't know what else to expect from a school dance.

Granted, it's the first one I've ever been to, so I didn't plan on expecting much, anyway. Still, clearly not the greatest time, nor the greatest company, either.

I tried to protest my co-chaperone. Begged Penny to do it, or to help me find someone who's willing (since I still know next to no-one), but everyone's reaction was the same.

“Why the hell would I want to chaperone with Basilton?”

Which is, roughly, the same reason I've been trying desperately to get out of it. It isn't that I don't want to be at the dance, it's the concept that I'm stuck beside this prick all night.

In actuality, he doesn't need to be exactly beside me, just in eyesight. Currently, we're leaned up against the back wall, separated only by the snack table (which I keep bombarding every time I feel). He's well dressed--purple patterned blazer with a cream button up and the same coloured deep purple slacks. He must've polished his shoes, because they're shining with every flash of the changing lights.

I feel a bit dull next to him. I had a black button down tucked back in my dresser, and decent black trousers, so I somehow managed to find an outfit that makes me stand out the absolute least while simultaneously making me look like a waiter.

He doesn't look at me--or at least, I don't see him looking at me. The darkness of the room makes it difficult to see anything, and even though I can swear I feel his eyes on me, every time I look at him his eyes are forward. It's unnerving.

I can't do this cold silence of his anymore. I can't keep staring at him, hoping he'll talk. It’s driving me off the deep end.

My head lazily turns forward, focusing on the clustered dancing groups of students and their guests alike. They spin and laugh together, enjoying one of their few dances of the year.

I let myself breathe, thinking over each word before they start spilling from my lips. “You know,” I begin, steadying my attention on the elevated stage on which the DJ is set up. “I've never been to a proper dance before. Not like this.”

There it is again--the feeling of his attention on me. This time, I don't dare to check, fearing it'll drive him away. Honestly, I'm too scared to keep talking unless he does first.

The thump of the new age pop music drowns us both into a suppressed silence until he manages our a brief answer.

“Any particular reason?”

I couldn't be more relaxed by his voice.

“Well, I'd only been dating one girl through most of my teen years and into uni,” I start, pushing up my sleeves absentmindedly. “Agatha, or Aggie. I didn't have much else close friend-wise, besides her. Though, saying that out loud is a bit sad now. Anyway, the issue was, though, that she didn't like big public displays, you know?”

I dare a glance at him, and catch him staring back, eyes unwavering. It sets me off track for a second, catching the steadiness of his gaze with mine for an extended second momentarily. I turn back forward, adjusting my shoulders. “She liked the dresses and all the glitz--after all, her family is pretty damn well off--but she never liked us being us in public. Especially not school dances.

“I, on the other hand, didn't have that money. I knew I could borrow her dad's suit, and I always did for holiday events, but it made me feel too vulnerable to go out to a dance. As if everyone else knew it wasn't my jacket, because you can't hide that there. At the Christmas bullshit, you could blend me in, but in a place where everyone knew me? Felt like a joke.”

He goes silent for a long minute, head turning away from me and onto the spot I'm trained to in the crowd.

When he doesn't immediately answer, I get a bit scared, and start rambling more. “Aggie wasn't terrible. She and I just weren't right, you know? I was just with her for so long that. I don't know, I guess I wanted her to be right? I'd tried and tried towards the end, but it was dying. Or, I don't know, it'd been dead? I don't know if it was ever there. She’s just so pretty, and I thought ‘There she is. The ideal’, you know?”

“Stop rambling about your heterosexuality, Snow. It's unappealing.”

This time, I use the silence to stare at him, following the bobbing of his neck as he swallows. He stares off, seeming unaffected but shockingly harmful. I let it drop, my throat feeling tight as I watch over him.

It feels like an eternity that he just stares, spacing off into the crowd.

At first, I feel like he's going to tell me off, like he usually does. I don't know why he's so bitter--my old therapist would probably say some shit about coping, but I doubt that. Most posh boys cope over dumb shit, like daddy stealing their cigs.

He's got the look of someone with a “Woe is me” attitude. I wish I could shake it off him--jolt him into a new person.

Shaking him is wrong, though. And so is what I'm thinking, probably, but my shaking-thoughts are a solid distraction for other thoughts trying to occupy my mind. Thoughts like how the glittering lights catch the sharp greys of his eyes, or how lovely the falling shadows on his young face frame him in such a picturesque way.

He seems to have the mind of someone twenty years his senior, but the body of a man in his mid-20s. I wonder how all of his thoughts are carried--chaos of a young adult, or filed away like the proper Englishman he was seemingly raised to be.

It makes me feel sick, knowing how gorgeous he is. Unfair. It's unfair how pretty this man is. I want to clench my fists and pound them down on the table, asking why bitter people get model bodies and faces.

He's so stunning that even in the slow drop of his jaw, he remains flawless.

Wetting his lips, he goes to speak, not leaving his forward gaze. “I've never been to one either.” His voice comes out slow--rhythmic. Like a growing tune, built up from his long time's hesitation. “I wish I could say I have, but I haven't.”

“Why?” I ask a bit unnervingly quickly, studying his expression. It doesn't drop, or drag up to the usual sneer. Rather, it's keeping its stone-cold composure.

“I went to a posh all boys boarding school growing up, like this. My father sent me off to be out of his hair--happened every year since I was eleven. There was this dance for the older students that I'd dreamt of for years. The outfit, the hair, the dance, even. I thought it'd be the shining moment of my schooling. My grandiose exit, if I may.

“Except the school had different presumptions over my attendance, for when I went to buy my ticket, they stopped me and told me no same sex couples. I tried to take it up with anybody who would listen--I wasn't going with a date, after all, but with friends. Still, they stopped me from getting in. Said they had the authority to stop me, and, of course, they won. I never even got a glance in.”

I'm left in a state of shock, blinking as he nonchalantly goes over the event. Even as he finishes, adjusting the cuffs of his blazer, he seems completely unphased by it.

I now worry that his steadiness is a mask, pushing back old angers.

“I'm sorry,” I offer, wondering whether or not I'm the first person who'd ever apologized for it. “I hadn't… I'm… shit that's… I'm sorry, Basilton--”

His hand raises to stop me, and I get a good look at it. He's wearing a thick silver band around his middle finger, and a tinier silver band around his pinkie. Not a usual look for him, but it definitely suits him. Makes him more dramatic than usual.

His palm dances pink in the light, falling into the harsh shadow we're contrasted in. Somehow, it all feels grey.

He doesn't say another word. Just stops me and stares off, mind miles away from us. He has to be a borderline genius somewhere in there, given the sharp tongue, but the question as to where is relevant. Where is he when he doesn’t speak?

Not here, apparently. I wonder if, perhaps, it's out on the dance floor with all the students. It's swaying and laughing--having the time of its life. Just far away from us here.

I hold my hand back, only reaching between us to occasionally grab a handful of pretzels on occasion. He seemingly doesn't take notice, spacing off and staring out into the crowd.

Once the event wraps up and the students clear out, we both quietly thank the custodians before starting the walk back to the dorms. It isn't a long walk, and thankfully the sidewalk is relatively wide--just wide enough that we have a foot in distance between us. It's not a bad night. There’s the dullest shine on the pavement, remnants of the day's long rain. In fact, everything's got that early-fall coating. Even the air has a crispness to it, despite the waterlogged piles of decaying leaves.

I try to look at him, hoping he's enjoying the moment as well, but he's still flattened in expression. Cold. Still.

Even as I unlock the front door, struggling slightly with the keys (and the old, fussy locks), he's completely blank. All except for the seemingly natural downturn of his lips.

He steps in before me, and I pause, watching him walk halfway into the living room before clearing my throat. “Hey, uh,” I start, fiddling with the keys in my hand. He stops, too, and turns on his heel. He's got a good few inches to stare down from, but I'm not afraid to look up to speak. Not after what he said earlier.

“I'm really sorry you never had the opportunity to go to a dance. I sound like a bit of a dick, since I just didn't take my open chance to. You… you should've been able to. I'm sorry.”

He stares down at me for what feels like a minute, eyes traveling in the slightest as he takes his time, looking over me. Looking into me, it feels. I'm trying to be vulnerable, goddammit, and it's like he's just waiting for me to add more.

I might as well ended with calling him a cock, because that's normal. That's what we've become. A bitter spat--a back and forth. Like the shittiest married couple on the face of the earth.

I worry I may've spooked him now, since his face contorts to its usual mockery, going for the low blow. He's all set up for it now--a dark flat, the only light coming from the window and the open door. It's like his cave built to fucking haunt me.

He sort if looks like a vampire. Creature of the night bullshit, and all. Maybe I'll call him Dracula--or Vlad the Impaler (is that homophobic? I don't think so--I don't know? Anyone can impale. That’s equality.)

His hair falls into his face as he stands more upright, adjusting his jacket. You'd think it makes him more human, but it makes him look darker--brooding. Helps with the vampy aesthetic.

His lips part, and I brace for impact before he melts down slightly, shoulders slumping as he exhales. Part of me wonders if he's about to throw my for a loop, until he starts speaking softer than he ever has before. “You should have gotten a chance to have your dance, too.”

#carry on #snowbaz #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #mine #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm-pitch #baz pitch #simon #baz #proximity (the collision of lonely men)#p(tcolm)

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my-nameless-bliss · 7 years

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hey nykeigh, im 22 and i feel so disconnected from life. all i do is work(a shitty retail job) and not much else. i dont have friends and not much family. i'm so lonely and feel like im never going to find my passion in life. when i was younger and thought about what my early 20's would be like, it wasn't this. i hate comparing myself to people my age but it seems like everyone else is loving life and im just existing

Hi, anon. I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this. I know pretty much everything about our society makes it seem like your twenties are supposed to be this awesome, happy, wild time where you have your whole life figured out. Our twenties are built up to be this free, fulfilling decade where we live life to the fullest before settling down for our thirties. Our twenties are shown to be when we get it all figured out.

But I can *guarantee* you: That is all complete bullshit.

Your twenties aren’t when you’re supposed to have it all figured out. Particularly your early twenties. You are literally just starting out your adult life. You were a child like, two years ago, so of course you aren’t supposed to have your entire life figured out already! If you follow the ‘usual’ timeline society presents, part of your twenties is spent still in college. There’s no goddamn way you’re gonna leave school and *immediately* know what the hell Life is supposed to be. It doesn’t happen. No one in their twenties knows what the fuck they’re doing. Your twenties aren’t about having your shit figured out. I know people will try to tell you that, but those people are WRONG. Your brain doesn’t even finish developing until halfway through your twenties, how could you be expected to suddenly be an Adult when your brain is still maturing and changing? It’s not possible.

At every other point in your development, you’re allowed to take time to figure things out. Babies need to learn how to walk. Kids need to learn how to be students and accept structure. Teenagers need to learn how to prepare for adult life. But for some reason, once you actually *get* to adult life, you’re expected to immediately have it all down. In your early twenties, you are learning how to be an adult. Working is either new or different. Friendships are different, both finding them and maintaining them. Moving out of your parents’ house is different, if that’s something you do. You can’t automatically know how to deal with all of these changes. It’s impossible. You need time to learn. You are *allowed* to feel lost, and not know what you’re doing, and figure things out at your own pace. You’re only 22. You have so much time to figure out your life, I promise. I’m only a couple of years older than you, and the amount I’ve learned and changed in those two years is unbelievable. I’m a completely different person at 24 than I was at 22. That’s how it’s supposed to be. You’re still growing. Let yourself grow.

As far as your passion in life, I know this may sound pessimistic, but seriously, the idea of having one Passion or Purpose in life is like… a myth. Yeah, some people find it, and go through life feeling completely fulfilled, but I think the overwhelming majority of people never experience that. And that’s okay! You don’t need one specific passion to get through life. Hell, I think *not* having a passion in life is more freeing, personally. Because then you can discover more things, and find smaller motivations. Don’t worry about finding that One Thing that makes your life worthwhile. Try to enjoy the little, tiny details that make life enjoyable. It doesn’t matter how small or unimportant it seems. Anything that makes you happy makes your life worthwhile. It could be a hobby, or a piece of media, or a particular flavor of ice cream. Those are the easy, attainable ‘purposes’ of life. Things that make you happy. That’s what matters.

It may seem like everyone around you has everything figured out, and they’ve found some sort of purpose, and that they’re madly in love with being alive. But the hard reality is that it’s probably not true. You are not the only person who feels lost, and like you’re just existing from day to day. That is an incredibly common feeling, particularly when your life is just starting. I’m in my mid-twenties, and the majority of my close friends are in their late twenties or early thirties. So I can tell you with certainty: NONE of us know what the fuck we’re doing!!! I have friends who are married and have houses and careers and are unbelievably happy, and guess what? They still have problems. They still feel lost and struggle and feel like helpless kids at times. You figure out life piece by piece. It’s not something you learn quickly, and it’s not a permanent change.

I know how difficult it is to feel like you’re behind in life, and like there’s no point. But please try to remember that this is a perfectly normal part of adjusting to adult life, and it’s something I think most (if not all) people have struggled with at some point. I know your twenties have been built up as an important time, but you are still so young, and you have so much time. You’ll find new interests and passions (even if they’re on the small scale and not the grand), you’ll meet new people and make new friends. Your twenties are a time of learning and change and adjustments, but that means there’s also so much possibility. Every year of my twenties has left me absolutely stunned to look back at where I was the year before. Try to accept where you are now, and realize that it’s normal. You haven’t failed or fallen behind. There are an infinite number of people who understand exactly how you’re feeling. Please try to take that pressure off of yourself, and let yourself enjoy whatever’s enjoyable about your life today - regardless of how unimportant it may seem. Your life is going to change so much, so be kind to yourself, and let yourself learn. 💜✨💜

#you are doing so well #you are exactly where you need to be in life at this moment #let yourself keep learning and changing #but let it happen in its own time #you're not on anyone else's schedule #I promise you'll find so many things in life #and you'll be stunned that you never realized how much you could love those things #I hope you find so much love and happiness anon #you deserve it #there's still so much time #nykeigh answers #anon

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datingadviceonreddit · 4 years

Link

If this isn't allowed please let me know!! I just joined reddit today, I'm trying to navigate through all the rules and such.This is a long read, I do apologize. I'm 20(F), turn 21 this year if that matters.I don't have the best guy history.My guy best friend in high school lead me to believe for three years we were together, then he told me I was worthless after I'd asked him senior year where we were headed. Told me it was fun but he's pretty sure he's gay. I cut off all contact, deleted social media, his number. His friends, still, every now and then attempt to contact me and tell me his new number, that he wants to talk to me. I've blocked all of them as well, but they continue to make new accounts to find me again.I got a job after high school and five months in we had someone transfer in because we were desperate for workers. I fell for him, and he and I seemed pretty great together. We talked a lot about his family and he's even cried in front of me before. I snuck to work on an off day to see him and we cozied up outside for hours and talked. It felt like heaven. Later on in this-come to find out-not relationship, he let slip he'd like to bang a coworker of mine if she had been single. It bothered me of course. Things got different after that because wtf?? As it turned out he had a girlfriend in a different state, but their relationship had been on the rocks. Guess he sought me out because he was lonely or wanted love in exchange for nothing. I started treating him the way he started treating me and we grew apart, then he wound up sleeping with my coworker. He's gone now. I know it's my fault he's gone but I don't care. I'm glad.I decided then to give up on love, like any other typical teenage girl would do. One night, on nightshift, I came in crying because my mom and I had been fighting before I got to work. I immediately found my work mom and held onto her for dear life, and one of my regulars had spotted me crying and had purchased a rose for me. He was a very sweet kid, he bought me my first ever rose. Naturally I thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever laid eyes on.He wound up giving me his number one day and we talked; about music, about passions and hobbies, about everything. Sent each other jokes. We had a little date planned for a Saturday I requested off, and the Thursday before that he called the store to say he was coming in on roller skates. I was there with my work mom and a coworker who was in the back doing dishes, and she really wanted to see him roll in because we thought it would be funny. Now, this coworker is someone who amped the relationship between he and I, told me how excited she was for me, and pushed me to talk to him more. Told me to break from my shell a bit. So I did. Anyway, he rolled in but was so fast the coworker didn't get a chance to see him. Later she told me a joke and I sent it to him, but he never responded. Thought he was just busy, so I didn't worry about it. Didn't see him for a while. Called him and texted about our date but he completely ghosted me.The coworker got weird around me and one day she contacted me to say she'd slept with him. Said they were in love. Said it didn't mean anything. Continued to contradict. I just couldn't believe this had happened again. What the ever loving fuck was I doing wrong? He had even brought his parents in from Florida and they all came to the store together. I felt like she was rubbing it in and the other workers thought so as well. I was absolutely so bitter about this situation to the point that she quit her job. They eloped to Florida.I stayed the night with my coworker best friend (I'd known her 2 years) during a promotional training week of mine, and when we were going to sleep (slightly drunk) I'd told her I had a friend crush on a guy coworker. She was the only one I'd told this to. Didn't tell my work mom, either. Found it wasn't important because I wasn't wanting a relationship. So as a result of that, most everyone at work knew I liked him and the info got back to him. My anxiety about this whole thing was so overwhelming that I had to confront him about it because God only knows what exactly she said. So I told him I had a little bit of a crush on him, and I already knew about his preexisting feelings for me. We talked things through about how it wouldn't work, how the age gap made me super uncomfortable, and so we agreed to just be friends. He wound up moving in with a coworker and I didn't find out until after I'd gotten out of the hospital when I'd stayed for over a week. Now, I wasn't affected by this at first, but later I was upset that even if everyone had thought I liked him, now someone else all of a sudden does? I keep going through this exact pattern and I'm not sure how to change it.A few months back we were hiring specifically for assistant managers to send off to other stores. Apparently one of these dudes liked me, I just wasn't aware. I slowly started talking to him. He told me he was in an open relationship, but I didn't think anything of it because I wasn't particularly experienced in this area. And this seems off topic, but honestly things had been rough here with my mom. So yes, I was seeking external comfort. It wasn't from the best place. I know. I just wanted a human fucking connection, okay? And I still do.Anyway, I won't go into super detail but shit got heated too fucking quickly for my liking and long story short he tried to rape me. He no longer works for us. Christmas time isn't going to be the same.I told our new assistant about a cute regular I'd liked since I started working there, she wanted to kinda push me into it (but not force!! I told her I wanted to date but didn't know how to go about things considering all the other shit). So he comes up, she initiates a threesome joke, and I of course get flustered and red faced. He asked for both our numbers. I figured go ahead and forget it considering he wanted both numbers. So I dropped it. She wasn't interested in him at all, and she let him know that too.Later on, months later, I'd wound up sick in the hospital again. Was out of work for three or so weeks. I got back, and that regular asked where I'd been. Over the next few weeks we started flirting, and I finally had the balls to give him my number.I'm actually still texting him, have been since mid February. But I don't exactly know where this is headed. I don't want to be the "what are we?" girl. We have excellent chemistry, but he almost seems kind of introverted-and I find myself initiating most text conversations. I'm an introvert myself, but dealing with the opposite sex is something that I'm just now learning how to really do. As it turns out, I'm really good at flirting (when I'm not awkward and anxious lol). He's bought me roses at work, he held his hand out a couple weeks ago and offered me a hug. We hug almost every time he comes in.I'd just really like to get to know him. Without scaring him off. I want something stable, for once, without the doubt of a coworker taking over. He's an absolute sweetheart (as far as I've seen). And of course we got the virus stuff going on. Can't exactly go out with someone when you can't go out lol.They always say to take risks and put yourself out there but the more I do, the more I seem to get fucked over. I know this isn't going to be forever but at this point the same thing keeps happening and it isn't like I can flat out ask a new guy "Is there any chance you'll sleep with my coworker after I give you my number?"I'm nervous as all hell, quite frankly. I'm merely wanting a connection that serves as more than something physical (I've never been physically intimate with any of those guys, either. Love before sex). I consider myself old fashioned in the romantical sense, but for some reason I'm always drawing in the hookup culture types. I sincerely doubt on my initial meeting with a man I should say, directly, "I'm wanting a commitment. You in?" But at the same time, I feel as if there isn't a way to communicate that without being direct. It's like I'm going about this stuff the wrong way. Am I naive? A bit. I'm young, it's to be expected. But I don't have anyone to look up to in this department so I seek out Google answers or advice from strangers on the internet. Some of you fuckers are smart, though.How do I go about attracting the right guys? via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

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