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aurae-rori · 2 days

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DR RATIO ANALYSIS

SPOILERS FOR 2.1 CONTENT!

Now, you might be saying - "Aurae, Oh No! and Are You Satisfied? are much too basic songs to analyze Dr. Ratio to! Just because he's a scholar doesn't mean that he has academic trauma!" WRONG! Before we start, I have been researching psychology for approximately six years and I plan to go into it professionally. HOWEVER, that said, I am NOT a professional (YET. One day I will be. Yay for Aurae!) so understand that everything I come to conclusions about has been analyzed with some personal judgement, personal interpretations, and this is just what I have concluded with the info that I have deconstructed from his brain. If you disagree, that's fine!

I will be pulling from my own experiences with being a "golden" and "gifted" child, as well as the experiences I've had speaking to other people who were those. I will also be pulling from my experiences of researching and seeing how people with superiority complexes work, as well as diving into how those work (from what I've seen, as well as how they conceal a lack of self-esteem).

OKAY, NOW THAT THAT LONG AHH DISCLAIMER IS OVER, ALLOW ME TO WORK MY PSYCH ENJOYER MAGIC! Let's deconstruct Dr. Ratio like a lego toy.

Let's start off with how Dr. Ratio presents himself. When you first meet him, he seems like a haughty, arrogant asshole. He likes to PRESENT himself as a stoic, superior scholar who is purely in it to win it, and I got total "*stares down at your tiny body and laughs at how you lack knowledge*" vibes at the very start, due to how he goes around calling people idiots all the time. However, he DOES lose the idgaf war, and we can very quickly see that he does care for other people, even if in his own, strange way. Dr Ratio presentation: An asshole. The reality?

His entire character is based around the idea of helping the masses. He wishes to spread knowledge through the cosmos and give people who didn't have access to it, access. He's a harsh teacher, and calling people 'idiots' is NOT the way to motivate them, but he's doing his best™.

Actually, no, I'm going to go full psych into this. Okay, so here starts the Dr. Ratio and my FATHER COMPARISONS. My father is a professor and he is often called a harsh grader by his students. However, I've spoken to him multiple times because I was curious - why is he so harsh and diligent with his grading system? The answer is - he wants them to actually learn. When he's grading, he gives them harsh marks because he wants them to know exactly where they messed up, and he's always willing to stay after hours to help students understand where they can't. My father also is an enjoyer of knowledge, and for as long as I've remembered, he has prioritized teaching me how to think critically. He wants me to be able to think for myself - and I think that's what Dr. Ratio wants, too. He wants for his students to be able to fully comprehend and absorb the information that he teaches, and although his methods are harsh, he genuinely wants to help. My father's like this too - he hates students that waste his time or aren't here because their hearts are in it. Dr. Ratio hates people who aren't taking their education seriously because knowledge is important. Knowledge is a tool, and to disregard it completely is lowkey kind of insulting - especially when there are people who weren't privileged enough to actually get it, so this isn't something that you should take for granted. Dr. Ratio despises people who take knowledge for granted.

Also, I disagree with the claims that say that Dr. Ratio hates the genius society. He shows open respect for them in his voice lines. Just check them if you need proof. Also, I'll delve into the idea of Aeons and recognition later.

Now that we’ve established that Dr. Ratio kins my dad, let’s let's tackle the 'stoic' allegations. He is LOSING the idgaf war. Like, really badly. He has a temper of a thousand suns and snaps at people frequently, despite his 'impassive' face, his tone holds a LOT of emotion. He seems to feel very deeply and has a shit ton of empathy for others - why else would he be dedicating his entire career to helping others? Of course, he doesn't express this in 'typical' ways of being openly kind - but it doesn't mean that he doesn't care for other people. In fact, he seems to be pretty good at putting himself in the shoes of others and understanding them - expressed in the 2.1 quest where he tells Aventurine to tell him if he can't hold on any longer. Also, he loses the IDGAF war because he is actively trying to help people who want to learn and trying to spread logic and knowledge across the cosmos to those who didn't have it before. Would a man who didn't GAF do that? No!

Now that we've covered his view on knowledge and the way that he presents himself, let's turn to the way that he SEES himself. Now, this is where we get into the nitty gritty of gifted child trauma & academic trauma as well as crippling expectations. It's literally explicitly said in his character stories that he sees himself as mediocre, and it's canon that he doesn't have a good view of himself. His self-esteem is down in the fucking trenches along with my sanity as I write this analysis. The reality is - being called a genius your whole life doesn't really make you feel better about yourself. I'd know. I was. In fact, it makes you feel fucking worse when you can't live up to an expectation. We all fail in life. It's part of being human. But when you're held to such high standards - idolized for your knowledge and the way that you're 'gifted' - the crash comes really fucking hard. Failure is inevitable, and when people who are held on that pedestal experience it, they take it really bad.

The reality is that nobody - not even geniuses - are perfect, but you grow up believing that you are. Then, when you fail for the first time, it all comes tumbling down. The first time I came home with a bad grade was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I hadn't studied because I was arrogant and I thought that I was smart enough to pass without putting any extra effort into it - because I was a 'gifted' child, right? I should've been able to do it without studying like the other kids. And that's the thing with gifted children – you grow reliant on that title. You cling onto it for dear life for motivation, as well as self-perception. Little by little, the person you are falls apart as you slave away to the perception other people have of you. I think basically every gifted child that I've ever spoken to is a victim of this – and of course, you can heal from this mindset - but it's a hard one to shake.

Ratio's way of presenting himself as being a 'genius' and 'arrogant' also seems to contradict the way that he calls himself 'mundane' at the same time. However, these are two mindsets that can coexist. One part of you believes that you are a genius and that you are perfect, while the other part is crumbling and calling yourself good-for-nothing every time you make a mistake. It's a tiring cycle to live in. This usually leads to people shutting themselves out and closing themselves off after living like that, pushing back your own feelings in favour of being the perfect child. However, we don't know the exact details of Dr. Ratio's childhood, but we can infer that he was held to a pedestal, and this is a very harmful mindset for a child to have.

His superiority complex comes both from how other people view him, but it's a way to cope with his crippling lack of self-esteem. I'm sorry my guy. Also helping others probably helps him feel like he's worth something and makes him feel better because he bases his entire worth off of what he can do and how he can help others. However, this is just my personal interpretation backed by what I have already deconstructed.

In general, this is an easy way to crush self-esteem. You spend your whole life working to meet the image of what other people think you are. In fact, another reason why Dr. Ratio might be so harsh is because that’s the kind of attitude he holds towards himself when conducting research – he’s as hard on himself as he is to others. You end up hating the idea of failure, instead of seeing it as it should be - a way to improve and grow. Actually, I think this could be a reason that he went out of his way to break that illusion of 'worshipping geniuses' in the Space Station. Maybe some sort of childhood connection? Personal connection? In his endeavour to spread more knowledge and make people think for themselves and not blindly follow geniuses, to wake them up and let them think for themselves - maybe, somewhere, in there, he's helping that little child that was almost dehumanized for his intelligence. TLDR: Conflicting mindsets due to trauma, brain vs heart almost - his knowledge that he is a genius vs the crippling lack of his self worth.

Now that we've established Dr. Ratio's self worth, let's take a look at the impact Aeons had on him. Nous, the Aeon of Knowledge itself. I think in a world where the Gods are real, tangible beings that you can reach out and talk to - it makes sense that someone with high ambition and someone who's been called a genius his whole life would seek the confirmation of Nous. When you're a man of knowledge, and you've spent your whole life working with it, being praised for it – it feels natural to look for a god to look down upon you and bless you, right? The Genius Society – it should house him, because he is a genius as well, right? Imagine this – you have been called a genius your whole life, held to that kind of pedestal for so long, and now you wait for the recognition of the Gods. Because if you truly are a genius – then surely, a higher being will recognize your intelligence, right?

The invitation never comes.

And then, comes the doubt.

What if I'm really not a genius? What if everything I've worked for is a lie? Aeons are beings that are 'absolute'. If the god of Knowledge won't accept you or even cast a glance upon you, does that mean that everything was wrong. Gods see more than humans, after all. Gods know more than humans - and that spiral... I think you can see if. (If you don't let me know. I will ramble about how a failure like that can make you spiral down into a worse mindset).

However, the reason why Ratio was never invited to the Genius Society is simple. It’s because he LOSES THE IDGAF WAR. Now, if we look at all the people we know who are in the Genius Society - we find one thing in common. They’re in it to win it for themselves. They don’t help others using the knowledge that they’ve gotten - they use it to pursue shit for themselves. The people of the Genius Society are inherently self-serving. They WIN the idgaf war. Ratio LOSES. Do we see now?

Ratio’s empathy is the reason why he wasn’t let in. He is too human. Nous is a computer. Herta is detached from people. Ruan Mei is literally looking at life as test subjects. Screwllum is a robot.

OUR DOCTOR MAN LOST THE IDGAF WAR, BECAUSE HE IS HUMAN AND FEELS FOR OTHERS!!!

Also, it’s a plausible theory that Nous’s definition of ‘genius’ is different from the human definition of ‘genius’ – it’s a computer, after all. Who knows what’s going on in that code head of its.

However, we still love you Ratio. Never stop losing the IDGAF war.

TLDR: Nous is a computer. It is also in it to win it. It is also self serving. It gazes upon the hoes who are here to win it for themselves. Ratio is busy serving the masses and cooking knowledge in his frying pan. To it, there is no logical reason to be doing this. Therefore, no reason to invite this guy to the Genius Society.

Ratio’s gifted child trauma says otherwise. He wants in. Why wouldn’t he? He’s been working his whole life as a genius.

Nous is like… nah bro, you care too much. Ratio is like, ‘what the fuck?’ And then the AEON OF KNOWLEDGE GOES FOR THE MILK.

Okay, now, quick shoutout to Ratio wanting to help others. He is just like me fr. SO BASICALLY, RECAP OF EVERYTHING I JUST SAID:

Ratio LOSES the idgaf war because he cares about other people. Spent his whole life as the golden egg, and then turns to the gods for recognition because of the inherent trauma of being a child genius. He goes, "hey bro, can you confirm that I am in fact a genius?" and Nous goes, "no, you are too busy cheffing for the masses." Ratio goes, "what the fuck?" and then we collectively realize his attitude comes from blocking off his feelings (while failing miserably), being salty about not being recognized, being put on a pedestal for his whole life, and his crippling depression *cough* lack of self worth *cough*.

Oh, and the "I will never be enough" thought train probably hits him every single day. He is not enough to be recognized by a God. Gods are superior to humans. Maybe nothing has worth after all. Hey, that's Nihility! Hi IX, let's hear what you have to say.

*muffled ix noises*

I see, I see.

The consensus is: HE'S TRAUMATIZED BY EXPECTATIONS! HE WILL PROBABLY SUFFER FROM BURNT OUT GIFTED CHILD IF HE HAS NOT ALREADY!

Okay, now, before I delve into song lyrics (and I KNOW this has been long, just bear with me) I want to talk a little bit (read: a lot) about his relationship with Aventurine. We all know that he cares about Aventurine in his own way. But I want to pull in another idea that I didn’t cover before:

Ratio’s fucking emotional constipation.

Basically, the reason why he has trouble connecting with others is because he was most likely alienated by others as a symptom of being called a genius and being put on a pedestal. This makes him seem unapproachable to his peers, most likely, and therefore, as a result, doesn’t know how to properly connect with others. This just makes his way of presenting affection and care to others even more challenging – because he just doesn’t know how to do it in a healthy and clear way. Academic trauma causing emotional problems, because he’s probably a little bit out of touch with his own. Processing? No! Research. Also, this is very important for understanding Ratio’s character in my opinion, because he’s just a little guy who doesn’t know how to articulate. Maybe he’s got a touch of the ‘tism. Tism mutuals, do we agree or disagree?

However, in comes Aventurine. Love Aventurine, but they are both emotionally constipated. Aventurine displays his affection in ways that Ratio probably only catches after re-analyzing their time together about five times. He’s also a very closed off individual – but Ratio knows this. A cute thing is that Ratio is patient where he needs to be, even if he’s generally a pretty hot-headed guy, and I’m like… bro… that letter… “I wish you the best of luck”... I will wait for you…. GAY ASS MAN…

Sorry the Aventio demons took over. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that they both have nonverbal communication with one another that they clearly decipher and Ratio obviously cares for him (he came back and almost jeopardized the plan just for the sake of his ‘coworker’... okay gayboy…) and they just have such a neat little dynamic… Aventurine lets Dr. Ratio do his thing… understands his emotional alienation to a degree…. they’re so neat….

Okay, Aventurine segment over. NOW, FINALLY, WE CAN GET TO THE SONG LYRICS!!! YAY!!!! We all cheered!!!

We are going to be here for two more amber eras, because I realized I actually want to analyze every single lyric from both of these songs. Brace yourself for like, 2k more words. Help.

I think it’s only proper that we start off with ‘Oh No!’ the song that has haunted me since my childhood.

“Don’t do love, don’t do friends

I’m only after success

Don’t need a relationship

I’ll never soften my grip”

Remember when I mentioned that alienation was a big part of Ratio lore? Yeah, that manifests itself in this. When you spend your entire life chasing after knowledge and being held to that standard of untouchable genius, it makes sense that you couldn’t connect with others and that you turn your gaze only to success. Therefore, relationships that are interpersonal lose meaning for a bit – you’re just looking for answers and ways to help them, not connect with them. Also, this is what he wants to do – so he’s never going to pass down an opportunity to better himself or to help someone else.

“Don’t want cash, don’t want card

Want it fast, want it hard

Don’t need money, don’t need fame

I just want to make a change

I just wanna change, I just wanna change”

This is directly alluding to his reasonings for distributing knowledge across the cosmos. Was he based on this song? Maybe he was. He’s not looking for money or fame, his ultimate goal is actually pretty selfless – to bring knowledge and give people the tools they need to think for themselves. He just wants to make a change – he just wants people to be able to have access to knowledge and help cure ‘stupidity’. He wants to do it as quickly as possible, always reaching for lofty goals that might seem impossible, but he will make them possible.

“I know exactly what I want and who I want to be

I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine

I’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy

Oh! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, oh!”

Ratio knows his goal. He knows what he’s working towards. I do believe that he understands why he is the way that he is – he has a degree in Psychology, after all. He knows how he’s been hurt but at the same time, the trauma brain probably doesn’t want to recognize it and he hasn’t stepped into healing yet. He knows what he went through impacted him, but he’s too busy helping others to help himself. He’s becoming what he wants to be, and yet he’s not, all at the same time – which causes the idea of “oh no!” as a kind of cry for help, almost. He’s too proud to ask for it himself, of course, so he’ll fall alone until someone manages to catch him and give him the strength to continue holding on. Aventurine is that.

“One track mind, one track heart

If I fail, I’ll fall apart

Maybe it is all a test

‘Cause I feel like I’m the worst

So I always act like I’m the best”

Now, these are the exact lyrics that made me associate this song with Ratio in the first place. He’s got a singular goal that he will do nothing to stop at getting, that he goes so far to get to. However, as I mentioned earlier, failure is not an option for those who were deemed gifted or genius. You are perfect, so therefore you must live up to everyone’s every expectation and surpass them, too, in order to keep your perception of yourself intact. Ratio does not hold himself in high regard, but acts arrogant in order to hold himself together and not fall to the self-deprecating thoughts, even if they fall through the cracks. It gets tiring to hold yourself together like that for a long time, you know?

“I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly

I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die

I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly

I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die”

Remember how I was talking about contradictory mindsets and how they can coexist. This is them. The feeling of crippling self-hatred and lack of self esteem versus the idea that you can do it, you can make a difference – you were born a genius, this is what you’re going to do. This is the knowledge that you are a genius vs the lack of self-esteem that Ratio has. “Mediocre” vs “genius” mindset, eh?

All the other lyrics in this song are repetitions of what I’ve analyzed before, so let’s move onto “Are you Satisfied?”

To be honest, there are only a few lines in this song that allow me to connect it to Ratio, so therefore, I will only be analyzing them. However, if you think that other lyrics can connect to him, I’d be interested in knowing how.

“What you’re gonna be

It’s not my problem if you don’t see what I see

And I do not give a damn if you don’t believe

My problem, it’s my problem that I never am happy

It’s my problem, it’s my problem on how fast I will succeed”

Pretending to not care about how the world sees you is so fucking real. Sometimes, you really don’t give a shit, and sometimes it’s all you can think about. Ratio… doesn’t seem like he’s the happiest person. He works himself hard and he’s always chasing after a goal that must be exhausting. He’s always doing his best, and I think even with his empathy, it’s easy to start not giving a shit after trying for so long and so hard. Accepting help is one of the hardest things that anybody can do, especially with how much pride he has. His personal problems are his personal problems and he can deal with them on his own.

“High achiever, don’t you see?

Baby, nothing comes for free

They say I’m a control freak

Driven by a greed to succeed

Nobody can stop me”

Nothing comes for free. A lot of the things Ratio has achieved is due to his own intelligence, yes, but also because of a shit ton of hard work. His goal is literally to cure the universe of ‘stupidity’ – and that’s a pretty large fucking goal. He is a high achiever who likes to know the details of every situation when he can in order to try and make things better, and he is driven by a greed to succeed. Why wouldn’t he be? Success is important, and success means helping more people. He isn’t going to allow himself to be stopped by anybody – not even anybody from the Genius society.

Okay, and we have finally reached the end of my analysis! This caps at around 4k words, so if you stuck around for this long, thank you so much. I would love to hear any of your comments, and I hope you laughed a little bit. Thank you again! This means so much to me that you read. <3

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psychwxrdd · 1 day

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more soft rafe pls 🥺

i just wanted to hear the sound of your voice ♡₊˚ . ☆

﹗ ໒꒱۪ ₊˚﹒✦₊

୨ৎ summary: rafe's in love for the first time in his life!

୨ৎ pairing: soft rafe x reader

୨ৎ warnings: none, fluff

🎀 note: i wrote this listening to what is love by twice ok

"Hi, you're Rafe, right?" The girl asked, her soft and friendly tone making Cameron raise an eyebrow. Generally, people feared him, they didn't treat him... like that. Speak to him in that tone, like he was someone they wanted to be friends with. "My friends asked me to tell you they're about to beat the shit out of you"

Rafe looked at the girl without knowing what to say. She said it so naturally that it didn't even seemed ironic or conscious, and it took Rafe by surprise.

"Who are your friends?"

"JJ and Pope"

Rafe pushed his cap back and flicked his cheek with his tongue. He was about to answer but she didn't gave him time.

"I liked your ring"

"Sorry?"

"This ring of yours, right here" she pointed to the gold ring. "It's beautiful, where did you buy it?"

He stared at the girl's face for a few seconds with his mouth open and his brows slightly furrowed.

"It-t's uh... It's from my family"

"Well, it's really beautiful, it suits you"

"Thank you..." He let out a light chuckle. Who was this little doll?

"Hey, you again" Rafe approached the girl on the beach. There was a party going on there, at night, and he recognized her from afar. That sweet smile got stuck with him.

"Hey, Rafe!" She replied, smiling widely. Her smile made Rafe smile too, unconsciously.

"You didn't told me your name that day."

"I'm Y/n" She spoke softly. A pretty name for a pretty princess, he thought.

"Nice to meet you, Y/n. Can I buy you a drink?"

"I don't like alcohol, but thank you very much!"

"Yeah?" He was curious "What do you like then?"

"Buy me a soda"

Rafe smiled, putting his arm around her shoulders.

Rafe and Y/n became inseparable after those brief meetings. Rafe wanted more from her, he wanted her presence, he wanted her every day, even if it was just for a small talk, she had something about her that made his heart warm and race every time. That night, he had asked her to go out with him on the family yacht. The breeze brushed against the girl's skin and made her shiver, Rafe noticed.

"Here, wear my coat" he said, taking it off his body.

"No need, thank you... It feels good like this"

"You're going to catch a cold"

She laughed, still refusing, but too focused on the sea to stop him. He placed it gently around her shoulders.

"What do you think that it's hidden down there?" She pointed to the sea. "Like, we only know 10% of the ocean, the rest has never been mapped"

He looked at her face, mesmerized by her features... her eyes reflected the waves. He wished he could stare at them forever, they were so full of life.

"Probably many dead bodies who went missing"

"Oh my God, Rafe" she pushed him lightly. He laughed genuinely.

"What do you think is there, little doll?"

"Magic."

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Yeah?"

"Mermaids, I really want to believe that they exist. People are generally afraid of the unknown, but I like to believe that it's only something too good for us to see. Something magical, like that legend about the treasure at the end of the rainbow."

"You know..." He breathed softly, "Who's to say you're not right, huh?"

She looked at him fondly.

"Are there sharks here in this region?"

"Why? Do you want to swim?"

She didn't even needed to say anything, the look on her face said it all. Rafe felt excited. God, ever since he met her he felt constantly excited, and he hadn't remembered feeling that way in years. Probably since he stopped being a child.

They swam and had fun for hours, Rafe felt so young, despite obviously being a young man, he was so full of responsabilities and darkness, usually always feeling like he lived a whole life. But he felt free like he hadn't in a long time. That same night, Rafe dropped her off at home and as soon as she got out of the car, his heart sank. What was that?

She hadn't even got inside her home yet, but Rafe already missed her terribly. He wanted to run to her and hold her in his arms, again, forever. God, was he sick?

He had never felt this feeling, he even thought he was going to vomit or that he had a fever, that he was going to faint. He pulled out his phone, immediately searching for Y/n's number.

"Rafe?" she asked, laughing softly. "I haven't even gotten to my room yet"

"I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice" He said without even thinking, practically letting his heart speak. What kind of gay shit was that? I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice. Jesus Christ, he sighed, embarassed.

"I miss you too"

She said, and his heart raced so much that he smiled, feeling butterflies in his stomach. He was happy, very happy. Not even coke got him like this.

"Come back here, I'm still in front of your house. Let's spend tonight together."

And forever too, he thought, but he managed to control that inside his mouth.

#rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey #obx #outer banks #rafe outer banks #soft fic #cute #manic pixie dream girl

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7ndipity · 2 days

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Get to know me

Thanks to @bethanysnow for tagging me!

❣ Who is your favorite Kpop group?❣

Bts and Stray Kids! There's several groups that I love, but these two hold a very special place in my heart💜

❣ Which member sparked your interest first?

I don't quite remember for Bts, but I'm pretty sure it was Namjoon. I was really drawn to his general style and aesthetic, as well as his solo work like Mono.

For Skz, it was Hyunjin, bc gifs of him kept popping up in my recommendations after the 'Oh' mv was released and I got curious and checked them out. So it's basically his fault for bringing me into this fandom, lol!

❣ Who was your first bias?

Yoongi and Chan

❣ Who is your current bias?

Yoongi and Chan(lol)

❣ What makes them your bias?

For Yoongi, he's the grandpa to my grandma energy, lol! Fr tho, I think it's bc he's so genuinely himself?? Like I love his dry humor, his writing style, his awkward tsundere energy, despite having such a soft heart🥺. Like, I will never understand how people think he's cold or indifferent, he's such a kind, loving person. I really admire his drive and passion for music, he's one of the people who inspired me to take back up writing. Idk, it's just everything.

For Chan, he's just super sweet and funny, and he clearly cares so much for everyone around him, from his group members to their crew/staff to the fans. He's also just soo relatable, and I really admire his dynamic with the fans, he feels like a best friend. I also really appreciate his honesty on tougher topics like self love and mental health. He's brought me so much comfort on tough days and makes me want to be a better person. Again, Idk, he's just Chris💜

❣ Who is your bias wrecker?

Literally EVERY OTHER MEMBER of both groups, lol! Like it's impossible not to love all of them!

❣ Which member(s) are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

For Skz, Minho(I blame @bethanysnow for helping fuel this lol) and a bit Han(the new curly hairstyle and the song covers he keeps posting on insta feel like a direct attack on me I swear)

❣ When did you first discover this group?

I'd been vaguely familiar with Bts for a few years, but it wasn't until my sister sent me some of their mvs back in 2020 that I started actively listening to their music.

For Skz, it was the summer of 2021, just after the 'Oh' mv was released, like I mentioned above.

❣ Have you ever been to one of their concerts?

No, but a girl can dream

❣ What are some of your favorite songs by the group?

Bts:

Paradise, The truth untold, Louder than bombs, Blood sweat tears, Zero 'o clock, Blue & gray, Pied piper, Jamais vu,

Skz:

Oh, Gone Away, Sorry I love you, Red lights, Chill, Cover me, Hello stranger, Waiting for us

Tagging @a-gayish-unicorn @crabby-libra @this-must-be-my-tardis and whoever else wants to play!

#7ndipity speaks #tag game

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gnashingwailing · 1 day

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@fireflywritesgt ok i read your tag on ch21 and i took that as a personal challenge (and then while I was writing this you dropped ch22 and THEN 23 and murdered me. but i'm back now. so)

HELLO Ok fuck yeah hold on everybody take my hand. We’re theorizing about this chapter 🙏 spoilers thru ch23 below

Re: the tag: dare I hope the next story will be set in a similar time/place… i MUST ADMIT despite the significant broader cultural stigma of such a thing. I have often contemplated. Harry and Joe helping with providing socialized miniature healthcare 😭 (maybe to wherever Lorraine lives[?] or knows of?) and when I heard mention of a Tiny Town Hospital… one must wonder how this compares to a Giant Hospital, or to the barber surgeon dens that Joe has presumably had some frostbitten toes cut off at.

OTHER THINGS I’M SPECULATING ABOUT: “certainly, bandits were a problem a borrower occasionally had to face” 🤔 damn that's rough. I do love the sense that there are few overarching cultural norms, whether it's around marriage or language or so on. Everybody is kinda doing their own thing (including robbing each other oof).

I am also VEEEERRY curious about the implications of WHATEVER the tinies that are working in Tiny Town are doing. What kind of mechanized thing could be profitable from a lot of little guys pressing buttons? Or is it maybe not something physical they’re producing? Is it instead a research project? Some attempt at “civilizing” the tiny society for giant colonialism reasons? There’s got to be some kind of output here that is valuable to some kind of giant, but I’m still mystified at what it will be. “Joe wanted to ask him about the four armed giants who stood outside of Tiny Town” YEAH MAN ME TOO‼️ <- secretly delighted this is still coming up because I want to know what it means QUITE BADLY

Joe lamenting that there don't seem to be any libraries, or restaurants, or speakeasies, or any mark of ... art or entertainment? In Tiny Town? I REALLY HOPE Joe and Harry get over themselves and kiss soon so they can TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKING WEIRD THIS PLACE IS???? It made me INSAAANE THAT JOE JUST BRUSHED OFF TALKING ABOUT IT AT ALL 😭 JOE TO HAVE THOSE THINGS. PEOPLE HAVE TO WORK AT THEM. ARE ALL THE PEOPLE IN TINY TOWN JUST WORKING ON PUSHING BUTTONS??? JOE PLS

“Expecting handouts from the bloody giants…” sooo fascinating to hear him voice this, since this whole project is a handout in the absolute best case scenario (given that scraps are worthless to giants), although likely closer to a prison, as Professor Hill called it. Still patiently waiting for his smart and cool wife to explain things to me <3

I hope Joe will deign to really talk about what happened to him… GURL go process it with ur beautiful best friend!! Let him hold you and comfort you and tell you you’re literally so smart and correct and everything you’re saying about ditching the buttons part entirely is literally so beautiful and true!!! Go rock his world with your insights king!!!

Also lmfao Joe is definitely not Irish bcuz his Irish Goodbyes need some SERIOUS work. King of just literally running off when he’s not feeling a conversation anymore.

Me 🤝Joe <- autistically just leaving

He does this so often and it makes me cackle every time. Wait hold on those great meme posts make me want to make a JUST WALK OUT! One.

Absolutely loving the tension of it all… the reveal that Joe was doing watchmaking when he was TWELVE, meaning (if I'm keeping track of time correctly) he got snatched right after he was ABANDONED BY HIS ONLY FAMILY IN THE WORLD, was so artfully done. I had to stop in my tracks and think at the “he’d known O’Grady longer in his life than he hadn’t” and do math and be like “oh fuck.” Maybe this was teased prior and I didn’t pick up on it, but it hit HARD. For some reason I hadn’t assumed he was a kid — but why wouldn’t he be? If little kids are already doing things like crawling into discarded beer bottles. Fuck, Warren, heartbreaking stuff. Bravo. Of course Joe would be as dedicated to going and seeing him as he was Harry in the hospital. He cares so deeply about everyone, but especially his friends. It’s too bad O’Grady is no longer in a place to reciprocate the love Joe gives !!! But of course Joe still would not be ready to throw away the boot knife O’Grady made for him… “a decision that would forever change Joe’s life” btw I can hear ur evil hehe from here. :)

Also btw THIS little detail is one of those things that makes rereading your story so delightful: “They invade our end of the city, take our jobs, show up at our bar… did we invite them? No.” O’Grady was practically ranting. “And when we politely tell them to leave, what do they do?” O’Grady pointed to his bandaged head. “Watch out for them once you get here. They’re not good Irishmen like you and me, Joe.” juxtaposed with the actual breaking news we heard from the radio ? "“AN IRISHMAN AND AN ITALIAN ARE IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER A MASS BRAWL OUTSIDE A BAR ENDED IN A CRACKED SKULL AND A STABBING. NEITHER OF ‘EM HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED YET.”" a fucking STABBING = "politely tell them to leave"? What kinds of things has Joe's friend gotten used to excusing?

And of course I love the moments of solidarity within the tragedy of the newly realized (or at least newly stoked) xenophobia between borrowers. Joe being reminded of how his parents spoke, and how his brother shooed him off, in the gestures of a stranger… you really do a great job of evoking the ways we are all connected to each other. His family is gone, but he still sees them everywhere he looks. [pacing my enclosure and being sooo normal about how Joe has purposefully isolated for a decade and yet cannot help but see the beauty and humanity of his fellow man whether tiny or giant bcuz despite thinking he’s wired wrong, he’s actually wired like all of us who have felt that way for our unusual proclivities. He’s wired for connection with his fellow man. And he’s so wired for it u can feel how much it hurts his heart. Haha I’m sooooo .] The older guy was trying to warn him off crossing a white line into the “Irish ward”, too, right? The gesture was a kindness. And speaking of, does that mean the little tunnel somebody dug is to the Irish district? Or was I turned around and it was the Italian one? Either way — who would be trying to get in here, and why? Maybe it’s just a desperate person, but O’Grady talking about how bad it’d be if they saw Joe, and the need for an ID, makes me think it’s not someplace you can sneak into and integrate with. Just makes me curious as to whether it’ll come up again!!

THIS is also something I'm wondering about -- could the 'output' of Tiny Town maybe be researching, like... ethnonationalism? In the wake of WWI? Those drawn lines separating different 'wards'... do we think Tinies came up with this shit on their own? I doubt it, if someone like Dawson who is immediately assigning people nationalities that we know from Calloway's nobody "normal" in borrower society knows/cares about. HMMMmmmmMMMMM. I'm still reaaaaally curious how much Hill knows about this place and what hand, if any, he had in it. ONCE AGAIN, boys get kissing so you can also get TALKING. I think Harry would have much to say about how pointless it is to hate individuals from other nationalities after everything he saw during the war. Or so I assume, given he had no bad reaction to Joe being Italian.

AND WELL THIS IS LESS THEORYCRAFTING AND MORE “ME WANTING TO WRITE MORE FANFIC ABOUT THEM” BUT I WAS SOOO DELIGHTED THE CHAPTER DIDN’T END WITH HIM LEAVING TINY TOWN AND WE INSTEAD GOT DRESS REHEARSAL 2 OF HARRY AND JOE GETTING SO FUCKING DOWN BAD FOR EACH OTHER AT THE WINDOW & IN THE BEDROOM. YIPPEEEEE <- this was written before ch22 lol pictures taken moments before disaster

“Joe fidgeted for a moment as he fought with himself over whether or not to say what he really wanted to say.” … did you say what you really wanted to, there, pal? 🤨

I'm sooooo glad Joe's books are making more and more appearances... much like Harry I'm endlessly delighted by his culture. I wanna know what shaped his romantic fantasies!!

""Yeah, the ending on this one isn't great. They're cowards. Could've at least said they loved each other." Joe said.

He closed the book and snuggled into the crook of Harry's neck." <- Lmao @ these two guys so allergic to talking about their feelings shit-talking the romance book protagonists while they're literally cuddling in bed and not acknowledging it

Did he own these books when he was a kid? I imagine so, but on the other hand? HEY HOLY SHIT I REALIZED AFTER CH23 SOMETHING I SUSPECTED BUT COULDN'T CONFIRM: if homophobia isn't something borrowers have. Is one of these romance novels Joe owns going to be between two men? Harry is going to get his fuckin world rocked. Him and Georgie stole books from the library before, but I doubt they found any gay romance stuff (still impossible for baby-gay-Gnash to find that almost 100 years later in their rural libraries, lol.) Would this be Harry's first exposure to something like that? Wahhh... hurry up and open up to each other again you need to talk culture ASAP...

I'm also very curious if borrowers would have more taboo novels of their own, particularly giant/tiny stuff. And would Joe have come across any of it? I imagine it'd be extremely difficult to sell things like that without a beating, but maybe in bigger night markets -- and Joe said he's been in lots of very big cities... if his third novel is some really salacious g/t writing that would do numbers here on tumblr dot com I'm going to lose my god damn mind.

#once again. it would be a war crime to try putting this in your inbox. also other people seemed to enjoy it last time.#take my hand fellow TAoLaW enthusiasts. let's make incorrect guesses about where things are heading... together <3 #thanks for the wonderful fic Warren!! it's taking over my brain!!!

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swaps55 · 23 hours

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(Sorry in advance for the long message) Hey swaps!! It's been a while since I asked, I got into uni (with my best friend) and started studying creative literature and I needed to let you know that it's partially because of you, and I wanted to sincerely thank you. Otherwise I'd never have had the drive to do what I was passionate about instead of chasing an academic degree that would suck the soul out of me. When I read your stories it's incredible, I really experience the story, that only ever happens when I'm reading something you've written. And I'm not the biggest bookworm but there's something about yours, the way you narrate and tell your characters, you write the story but the characters truly do come alive, and I wanted to be able to tell stories like you. I'm currently attempting to flesh out my own story which I think is going not horribly, but I wanted to ask, how do you stay so true to your characters? I've read your posts and when people ask what would happen in certain scenarios, despite what you want to happen the characters have their own personality. Is there a system you use to get all your words out right or does it just come to you? Honestly any advice you could give would be amazing. Thank you again swaps, I know it might be silly to admire and choose a career because of someone on the internet that you've never met, but there's real passion in your work. We can all see how much you put into writing and it truly does make an impact, even if sometimes you can't see it. I think I speak for all dedicated mass effect, and more niche Mshenko, fans, thank you.

This is not silly. At least to me – this means the world to me, and I cannot thank you enough for telling me. And I am SO excited for you; my creative writing workshops taught me so many valuable things. I hope you love it, thrive in it, and write until your fingers fall off.

I can tell you from being in the workforce for a couple decades now that an English/Creative Writing degree can get you to so many places, because storytelling and the ability to write are skills that are crucial in so many industries. It’s so hard to know how much is out there until you get out in the world and really see it, but if you’re curious, adaptable, and passionate, having the ability to write and tell a good story can open so many doors. It has for me. My Real Life job doesn’t involve fiction, but I write and tell stories in ways I really enjoy every day. So whether you go off and become the next Neil Gaiman, and I hope you do, or you find other fulfilling opportunities, use that passion of yours to do something you love and enjoy the hell out of your uni experience.

On to your question: How do I stay true to my characters?

This is going to be a layered, multi-faceted answer because it’s a layered, multi-faceted question.

Developing characters is a very fluid process for me. I don’t like to get too prescriptive about them early on, because I want there to be room in the story for them to grow. I think there’s a relationship that develops between characters and story: characters shape the stories they’re in and are also shaped by them, and if you’re too rigid about the character sheet you have in your head (or on paper), you miss out on opportunities for them to grow with that story. But if you don’t know enough about them in the beginning, your characters will probably feel flat and inauthentic. I can’t really tell you where the line is between knowing too much and not enough – it’s something you learn by doing, and something you develop instincts for over time.

For instance, I don’t know if this will surprise you, but when I wrote Sonata, which was the first Opus story to get off the drafting board, here are just some of the things I didn’t know about Sam:

The nature of his relationship with Anderson.

What happened to his father aside from, “he went missing.”

Anything about his biotic mentor, other than “krogan.”

His biotic “handicap.”

Those line items are all pivotal to who Sam is as a character. But the details of them weren’t pivotal to Sonata, so I left them as broad strokes, and then filled them in when other Opus stories needed me to. This gave me some freedom to craft those details in ways that elevated both Sam and the story I was trying to tell.

There’s also a lot of value in developing characters from both ends: identifying a formative event/moment in their lives and using it as a guidepost to shape the way they see and interact with the world, and establishing a key behavioral or a character trait and then backing into where it comes from.

Example of the former: Lora Alenko experienced having a teenage son who developed an alien medical condition that resulted in him being taken away from her and coming back as a stranger. What does that do to a parent? How does that shape the way she sees biotics? Sees Kaidan? I think about all of those questions when I write her.

Example of the latter: A simple question with a very complicated answer: Why is Sam Shepard the guy who saves the galaxy? Why him, and not someone else?

So that’s one way I think about characters. Here’s another that I think is equally important. I really subscribe to the ideology that every character is the hero of their own story. They don’t know they’re not the main character. They don’t know what comes next, what the plot is, what the themes are, or how they are supposed to serve the narrative. And for a character to really take on a life of their own, I think it’s really important to write them that way. Otherwise it’s easy for characters to get tangled up in dreams or lives that aren’t theirs, which robs them of some of their agency.

Therefore, whenever I park myself between the ears of a character, I do a lot of interrogation. What’s important to them? What isn’t? What does the world look like through their eyes, and how is that different from the other characters? What do they notice that other characters don’t? What do they miss that other characters don’t? How do they interpret the same series of events compared to another character? And then, here’s the kicker that often results in the gnashing of teeth, pulling of hair, and beating of foreheads against walls: how does that perspective tie into the narrative? Because yes, characters are the heroes of their own stories, but they also have to work within the story you, the writer, are telling, whether they know it or not.

That might sound overwhelmingly complex, and it is. But really what it comes down to is asking questions one by one and seeing where the answers lead you. Sometimes, especially with a character you don’t know well, this can be a lot of painstaking work. But in my experience it’s always worth doing.

I hope any of that helps. Sometimes I feel like the only good writing advice out there is that everyone works differently, and you have to find what works for you.

Thank you again, SO MUCH. Truly. This means so much to me, and I am so excited for you!!!!!

#swaps replies #ao3-enthusiast #how writing is written

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