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wonjnz · 8 months

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drunk on (the thought of loving) you

₊˚⊹ summary: five years of loving hanbin can be told within taking five shots.

₊˚⊹ genre: angst (idk if this is even sad at all.. VV SLICE OF LIFE), best friend!hanbin, collegel!au | wc: 2.2k

₊˚⊹ warning(s): swearing, mentions of drinking | inspo: that’s what you get - paramore

₊˚⊹ a/n: idk this was kinda scrapped last month .. i’ll just post this bc i wanna keep this acc alive!!!

i. the first shot

you vividly remember watching hanbin crying in the driver’s seat.

you were the first person he called right after he got dumped by his now ex-girlfriend; and all you could do was watch and offer him a few tissues from the passenger’s side, occasionally offering a “she wasn’t all that, anyway.” whenever hanbin would rant about how much he wasted his love on her just to get ghosted.

“i don’t know anymore, y/n. am i that dumb to not notice she isn’t into me?” he asks despite his throat dry from crying, looking at you.

and that’s when you had that damn cheesy realization the moment you looked at hanbin again — the realization where you’ve stupidly fallen for your long-time best friend and that stupid, high school love you’ve been trying to avoid for all these years slowly dawns on you now despite both of you in college.

you shrug your feelings off for the meantime, “of course not. plus, you deserve someone way better.” you assure him.

the moment you arrive home, you’ve had the whole night to confirm that you were, in fact, helplessly in love with sung hanbin.

you don’t even know how it started — maybe it was during the one time he tiredly slept on your shoulder while on the way home from a field trip, or the way he’d always invite and mention you everywhere and anytime he could to the point even his friends thought you were together, and you don’t even dare try to remember how he said “i’ll love you whenever nobody is there to do it.” that one night during your nightly calls.

and as if that wasn’t already a big wave enough, zhang hao’s reaction to it felt like a tsunami.

“say you’re kidding right now.” zhang hao says in disbelief at your confession the next day, putting his drink down to focus solely on you. “you, liking your — our best friend since middle school, right after his ass got dumped?”

you frown and shrug as a reply, “i don’t know, everything just clicked that time. i think that’s like three years worth of having to interpret his mixed signals towards me.”

zhang hao sighs at your confused state, taking a sip from his coffee before speaking up, “so you’ve liked him for at least three years now?”

slowly nodding, you put your head in your hands. “god, i’m such a fucking dumbass, hao.” you say exasperatedly as you dread the day you’d grow tired and finally confess to hanbin,

“you think you’ll try talking to him about it soon?”

“i don’t think i’ll ever have the guts to tell him, hao.” you say defeatedly, looking down at your phone to see that hanbin sent another really long rant about his ex. “not when he’s still fresh out of a relationship, that’s for sure.”

“i’m just scared that once i confess, i’ll ruin everything. i’ll ruin us.”

you felt helpless, hopeless even, just the mere thought of seeing hanbin’s pitiful reaction at your confession is enough to make you pass out in the bustling cafe you were in. what more when he’ll start distancing himself days after? you were terrified.

zhang hao waves your fear off nonchalantly, “you’ll never know. what if you’re in some kind of drama and this could be your chance?” he tries to lighten the mood, smiling victoriously when you raise your eyebrows at him.

“don’t feed into my delusions hao,” you roll your eyes at him. “i'll just tell him once i'm over from this whole dumb ‘liking your best friend’ thing.”

“by the looks of it, i don't think that's happening anytime soon.”

you scoff and playfully hit zhang hao’s shoulder, receiving a small scowl from him, “but you gotta admit, we make a good pair,”

“he just doesn't love me that way.”

ii. the second shot

sometimes you wish you weren’t too adamant on hanbin drinking his heartbreak out, especially now that you’re left with a drunk-out-of-his-mind hanbin in your apartment. (you mentally curse zhang hao for leaving earlier than expected.)

the night started off with the three of you making a toast to hanbin moving on, which then evolved into a mini ranting session about going into college life, then a sudden karaoke break, zhang hao leaving after, and now this.

you’re both slouched on the dining table, arms serving as your only pillow because for some reason you can’t walk over to your sofa, and with no knowledge of time as you ramble on about the most random topics you could think of.

hanbin hums amusingly, “y’know, even if you say nobody is there to love you, i’m always here as your best friend.” his words slurred and groggy. and even with the amount of alcohol in your system numbing your senses, you still felt that little sting in your heart, you only laugh as a reply.

“so you'll only ever see me as a friend?”

you hear him hum lowly, “of course, what else would i think of you as?”

right, of course.

“not even more than a friend?” you, or the alcohol in your system, ask again. hanbin slowly hums again, the sound softening until you're met with nothing but the sound of the bustling city outside your apartment.

a few minutes passed by and you finally gain the strength to at least sit up, the sight of hanbin sleeping coming in full view — his slight pout, light breathing with a few snores here and there, and ruffled hair was honestly a sight you wished you could look at forever. but you swear the longer you stared at him, that god-awful feeling of regret starts to feel even stronger than before.

but that night, you fell in love with sung hanbin for a second time.

iii. the third shot

“you know, we started talking again.” hanbin shares through the phone, going silent as he expects some reaction. no way.

you shift in your seat, “seriously? didn’t you say you officially moved on like what, two years ago?” hanbin smiles sheepishly to himself before saying, “she messaged me last night, so i replied. we talked the whole time i barely slept.”

“we’ll hang out a bit after this actually! you wanna join us?” he offers innocently, your heart receiving a jab this time when you noticed how excited his voice seemed just at the mere thought of seeing her, you knew hanbin well enough to know he was madly in love yet again.

you stay silent for a few minutes before speaking up, “you guys have fun, i don’t wanna be the third-wheel between you two.” hanbin mumbles a small ‘awe,’ before eventually ending the call to get ready.

next thing you know, you’re on facetime with zhang hao bawling your eyes out about what just happened. “see i told you, he’s still hung up on her.” he says while walking around his apartment.

genuinely speaking you don’t know what’s worse, the harsh truth zhang hao was telling or the way you could barely hear his voice due to the amount of muffling and moving he’s doing.

“did you see the way he’s talking about her? he’s literally the most obvious man alive.”

“you’re really not helping me here hao.”

“right, sorry.” zhang hao immediately shuts up, humming a bit before speaking up again. “i know it’s not easy, but at least try to move on from him, y’know?” he says, his voice filled with sympathy at your state.

before you could speak up zhang hao continues on, “it’s not possible, i know, or — i don’t know, just tell him so you can get that burden off, i’m sure he’ll understand anyway.”

you groan at the thought of confessing, “are those really my only choices?”

“unless you wanna live with getting hurt over and over again, yeah.” zhang hao shrugs.

you sigh at his advice, he was right after all, but every time you remember your friendship is at stake; you back out at the last minute. “i’ve been handling this for two years, hao, don’t you think i can handle two more?” zhang hao chuckles almost pitifully.

“of course not, you’ve been handling this whole hanbin thing for, correction, five years too long. you've genuinely gone batshit crazy.”

“honestly hao fuck you because was the last part really that necessary?”

iv. the fourth shot

god, you’re tired of hanbin’s constant compliments about her; how she’s the best person in the world, how she’s the prettiest girl he’s seen, how she’s so special and dear to him. almost every conversation you’ve had would always go back to something related about her, even if it meant the most absurd topics only you three would know. the topic could be about how zhang hao got lost in the middle of a forest and hanbin would still tie it back to her.

hell, he even mentions her even while drinking.

but you’ve handled it for five years now, so what’s the difference?

the three of you were celebrating your graduation in zhang hao’s apartment, the bouquet from your parents laying on the sofa while your togas were thrown across the room while zhang hao’s coffee table was filled with a bunch of soju and shot glasses you bought from a nearby convenience store.

“thank god we’re finally graduates, i can finally escape from all those girls taking candid pictures of me.” zhanghao sighs in relief the moment he starts downing his first drink of the night, pouring more.

“you sure? i already saw new fansites of you online, they’ll never leave you alone at this rate.” hanbin retorts, you chuckle at zhang hao's horror as he's frantically checking his twitter to see pictures of him at his graduation.

the night, cliché enough, felt like a dream. the three of you basking in the temporary freedom of adulthood before you start looking for work.

as it went on, you missed the days where you could look at hanbin without noticing the stars in his eyes, the days where you could still speak full coherent sentences whenever his attention is fully on you, and zhang hao noticed.

“it's just hard to say no to someone you really loved,” you hear hanbin say, zhang hao had brought up his ex (to your absolute horror and zhang hao's drunkenness) and you've been quiet the whole conversation.

“especially with her, it felt like i had no more to give but the moment we talked — there was still something left.”

you chuckle, not at him, but the way his words hit how you feel with hanbin right in the center. and yet you just can't refuse to give hanbin the little love you have left even when he's freely giving his own to someone else.

you take another shot to drown your feelings out more, “so you just can't say no, right?” you ask, seeing if he feels the same way.

hanbin smiles at you before nodding, placing his shot glass down to lean back on his chair. “yeah. you really can't.” he answers, confirming that you were both experiencing the same form of love. but painfully enough, just not towards each other.

god, was the truth so anticlimactic for you.

the way hanbin talks about her with the same lovestruck eyes whenever you talk about him to zhang hao, how you notice the little things in hanbin the way he also notices the little things in her — you knew it from the start.

but to see it slapped to your face despite knowing how it'll end, just felt like reality slowly kicking in the more drinks you take.

and now, under zhang hao's dim apartment lights, you realized that the truth that sung hanbin will never see you as more than his most cherished best friend since middle school, really does hurt.

you swear you were just drinking your first shot, but when you woke up to find yourself on zhang hao's bed; a loud snore coming from the living room and—

v. the fifth shot

“you awake?”

shit.

quickly turning to hanbin's figure by the bedroom door despite the pounding headache, you slowly nod. “just woke up actually.”

as you slowly look at hanbin by the bedroom door, you immediately remember the day you realized your feelings for him — his face puffy from crying yet still so pretty under that orange sunset glow, his hands that’d usually tap on the steering wheel when he was starting to calm down again, and the way his shirt was so wrinkled in one specific area from all the bunching.

it felt almost too poetic to have that sort of realization under the sunset in his car, almost as if you’re bidding goodbye to the days you used to look at him as just your best friend.

so you, or the remaining alcohol in your system figured, rather, that you make use of the sunrise to finally welcome the harsh truth of confessing to him.

and you did.

“i love you.”

you’re met with nothing but silence, looking down to save yourself from bawling your eyes out in front of him.

“i’ve loved you for five years, hanbin. five fucking grueling years.” you manage to croak out, not noticing the way hanbin slowly makes his way towards you, nor the way his eyes significantly soften when he sees zhang hao’s sheets slowly staining from your tears.

a few minutes pass without much happening, the room only filled with the sounds of your sniffling.

“i’m sorry, y/n.” hanbin whispers, eventually embracing you to at least bring some comfort. but to his dismay, his actions just made you cry even harder; not because you just got rejected, but because of how soft his voice and embrace was it felt like he was pitying you.

in his defense, who wouldn’t? you loved him for so long, despite knowing he’s still hung up on his ex-girlfriend and regardless will still see you as his most precious best friend. all he could do at the moment was continuously say ‘i’m sorry’ whenever you cling onto his shirt tighter as support.

as you continue to cry in his embrace, you realized that under the sunset, you were there to comfort hanbin. but as you’re both waiting for the sunrise, you figured he’ll never be the one there for you like he promised.

#zb1 drabbles #zb1 scenarios #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone x reader #zb1 imagines #sung hanbin #sung hanbin x reader #hanbin #hanbin x reader

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augenblicklich-lila · 1 year

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cod incorrect quotes #7

Just thinking about my future. It's scary. So I'm just going to post these to keep my mind off of it lmao. Love y'all ♡

the usual jazz, mainly Y/N/Reader stuff, platonic and romantic. Also plenty of Soapghost & Alerudy this time! ♡♡♡

- Lila

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛ ♛ （ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ━━✫・*。 ⊂　　ノ　　　・゜+. しーーＪ　　　°。+ *´¨)

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛

Rodolfo: I'm so happy, I could kiss you! Alejandro: Um…Neat. later Alejandro, lying face down on his bed: I said "Neat," Y/N. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid. Y/N, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Alejandro. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Soap confessed his love for me? Alejandro: Didn't you thank him? Y/N: closes the book and looks at the ceiling I fucking thanked him.

Gaz: Y/N's refusing to wear their glasses! Y/N: Gaz, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch. Y/N: points to Soap Soap. Y/N: points to Graves Graves. Y/N: points to Ghost Sasquatch.

Gaz: How do you connect with a fictional character? Ghost: What? Price: What? Soap: What? Y/N: pulls up a 500-slide presentation I'm glad you asked.

The Squad: walking at the mall Alejandro: Hey, have any of you guys seen Y/N? They’ve been gone for a while... Soap: Eh, nope. Rodolfo: No, I haven’t… Ghost: Probably ran off to McDonald’s or something. Y/N: Hey. Alejandro: Ooh, there you are- Ghost: What the fu- Soap: I- where were you?! Y/N: Walking right behind you guys.

Y/N: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… König and I are dating. König, Soap, Rodolfo, and Gaz: gasp Y/N: König, why are you surprised?! (he WOULD)

Ghost: Where’s Soap? Y/N: Doing stuff. Ghost: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Rodolfo? Y/N: Trying to stop Soap from doing the stuff. Ghost: And Gaz? Y/N: Trying to stop Rodolfo from stopping Soap from doing the stuff. Ghost: I see. And what are you doing here, Y/N? Y/N: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Gaz from stopping Rodolfo from stopping Soap from doing the stuff.

Gaz: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple… Alejandro: I really care about your feelings! Rodolfo: I really care about YOUR feelings! Gaz, turning his head: …and then there's the disaster couple… Soap: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL! Ghost: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE-FOOT RADIUS OF YOU! (then again- this might as well be switched lmao)

Soap: Okay! Let’s play Kiss Marry Kill! Soap: First who would you kill? Gaz, Ghost, and König all jokingly point at Y/N bc Graves isn't there Y/N: shrugs I would kill me too. Soap, Ghost, Gaz, König: WAIT NO!!

Alejandro: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be? Ghost: Maybe a bit tipsy? Gaz: Drunk. Soap: Wasted. Y/N: Dead.

Ghost, smugly, after security arrives to escort Soap and Y/N out: So, do you wanna walk out of here or do you wanna be carried out? Soap, in defeat: Let’s go. Y/N: Wait. Soap: What? Y/N: I’d kinda like to be carried out…

Soap, at an awards show: Well, first of all, I’d like to thank Ghost, the love of my life, for telling me Gaz was going to win so don’t bother to prepare a speech.

Rodolfo: Well, remember when Alejandro made a romantic dinner for me? Y/N: Rodolfo, he microwaved you a pizza.

Price, talking to Laswell: I’m telling you, my team is competent. Y/N, rushing in: Price! Ghost tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛ 　 ∧＿∧ （｡･ω･｡)つ━☆・*。 ⊂　　ノ　　　・゜+. しーＪ　　　°。+ *´¨) “Hie thee home, little wanderer.”

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛

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rakkuntoast · 1 month

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Your talks about Missa's mischaracterization are exactly why I made a post specifically asking for Missa mains to give me their analyses for me to reference in Awake Me From My Nightmare.

I even went as far as to slap some parts of the post in Google Translate encouraging Spanish qsmp fans to reply to me and I'd just have someone translate their analysis for me. Which I did (thank u Kami ily). And I was so fucking happy when more of my responses came from Spanish speaking fans than English. Peak QSMP moment <3

But anyway yeah. Missa's characterization has been lowkey my biggest concern writing the fic tbh. I wanna do him justice. He definitely isn't written as a pathetic woobified uwu cinnamon roll, that's for sure.

I've been staring very hard at the paragraphs people gave me on his character and I THINK I've been doing a decent job at balancing the "gets overwhelmed by things" wet cat side Crows see AND the "um actually he could kick your ass and can be a bitchy little shit" reality?? Mans is getting lots of moments where he's like "fuck this" and gets ready to Literally Fight God. There's still lots of tears, but like, if YOUR husband was in front of you covered in his own blood and lookin like he's rapidly wasting away in real time, you'd be an emotional wreck too. So I'm decently confident in his characterization, but I still have that "AAAAA I HOPE I'M DOING THIS RIGHT" worry. 100% gonna be clinging to comments from readers about if I did him justice. So far I've characterized everyone (Phil, Fit, Etoiles) super well according to readers. 😭🙏🏻 Hoping I keep up the streak with Missa in Chapter 3.

The discussion you've been having is exactly why I'm doing my best to do him actual justice. And I might actually read back through your posts and translate the Spanish bits just to get even more insight. I don't see enough people talking about qMissa like this.

And on a semi-related note, GOD I wish there were more YouTube clip compilations of Missa moments. Like idec if they're not just qsmp, I want more of them in general!! Idk if I just wasn't searching well enough or what but when I went looking a while back, there were MAYBE 2 videos at all, let alone Eng subtitled so I could understand them. And rooting through Tumblr for clips is a pain. 💀

Tldr thanks for talking abt this Rakk, this is exactly why I've been busting my ass trying to not write Missa reduced to one trait or the other. Tbh I've been seeking out proper analysis/understanding of qMissa even before I was writing him in a fic. Bc I KNOW what we Crows see is a fraction of his character.

ISAAAA you're doing God's work honestly, the "fights God through tears" is peak qmissa characterization akfknsjx

I do think we need more translated Missa content, sadly like the best thing you can get is qsmp clips translated or someone on twt decided to translate this one bit from his videos (like him having a crush on a pineapple)

it's sad that it doesn't get talked about how clever the guy is and while the fix is pretty easy (just getting more missasaurios to talk about him) it's just a case of bothering to translate stuff cuz that shit takes time and effort

as well as missa's miscaracterization not being talked about as much cuz a lot of the ppl who talk abt him are English crows who think he's a sopping wet cat<- i am BEGGING for people to unlearn this word it's making me insane

#ask tag #Isa-ghost #hi Isa thanks for reading my posts I maybe care alot about characterization and Canon and I also want my guy to get justice #qsmp missa

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seokmattchuus · 1 year

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Seok Mattew as a Dom

A/n: I love this man with my whole being. It's only fair he's the first zb1 thing I post. P.S I don't wanna hear s h i t about the gif. There's only so much to work with right now 😭

P.P.S I did not proofread because I have copious amounts of caffiene in my system and cannot read properly. If there's typos, let me know and I'll fix them when I'm normal again <3

Soft dom.

Softest of doms.

Also,

CAREGIVER VIBES

SO MANY CAREGIVER VIBES

He's up first most of the time so he makes breakfast to make sure you eat.

Smoothie person? He's got it made.

Cereal person? Prepped with your favorite spoon.

Full fledged meal? He's working on it but the eggs are done.

If he isn't up before you, he's blowing up your phone all day.

"Did you eat?"

"You forgot your water thingy. I'll bring it by later :)"

"Make sure you eat enough for lunch! Snacks and energy drinks don't count >.<"

Even if you pinky promise to eat a proper lunch, he doesn't trust you.

"Oh yeah? Show me what you're eating."

Turns into a whole video call during your lunch that you barely even get to eat anyways.

He's clingy what can I say

Okay back to soft dom matthew.

Doesn't like raising his voice because it definitely hurts him more than it hurts you.

Because you're his lil baby.

How can he yell at his lil baby and be okay after that?

Raising his voice is the last resort or reserved for major fuck ups.

Usually says your name in that tone.

You know.

The soft dom tone.

Timbers? Shivered.

It usually does the trick because you don't really want to make him mad.

Unless you want to.

But we'll get to that. Put a pin in it.

He's up first most of the time so he makes breakfast to make sure you eat.

Smoothie person? He's got it made.

Cereal person? Prepped with your favorite spoon.

Full fledged meal? He's working on it but the eggs are done.

If he isn't up before you, he's blowing up your phone all day.

"Did you eat?"

"You forgot your water thingy. I'll bring it by later :)"

"Make sure you eat enough for lunch! Snacks and energy drinks don't count >.<"

Even if you pinky promise to eat a proper lunch, he doesn't trust you.

"Oh yeah? Show me what you're eating."

Turns into a whole video call during your lunch that you barely even get to eat anyways.

He's a giver. For sure.

I'd bet my life on it.

L o v e s foreplay.

He drags that shit out.

Kisses. Kisses everywhere.

Loves hickies.

Will trail them down your body.

And leave the biggest ones where only he can see :))

Bc he thinks they make you look pretty :))))

All in all just really wants to make your private time last. It's not like he's got other things to do.

Gives you head before sex.

Always.

Doesn't like restraints because he loves feeling you tug on his hair.

Gives him motivation, y'know?

He knows what you want.

And how you want it.

Say 'please' and he'll give it to you until you're begging him to stop

Because he totally does it for him more than for you.

Like, say he's had a rough practice.

Maybe a petty argument.

He'll text you some shit like.

"Can you get all pretty for me?"

"Remember that set we bought, can you put it on for me?"

You know what's coming and it just gets you worked up.

You know by now to just wait on the bed.

He wastes no time burying himself between your legs.

He's not moving anytime soon.

And with the hold he'd have on your legs, neither are you.

You're stuck there until he's done.

And that's not until you're crying and shaking because he needs you to be absolutely spent before he considers letting up.

Speaking of-

He might dabble in overstimulation, but not maliciously?

If that makes sense??

Like, his stamina is insane and after he's done eating you out, he's already getting ready move on.

And for the most part, you're not opposed but like,

Damn, not even a snack break, y'know?

He's just going.

Def likes missionary because eye contact.

And he can kiss you whenever he wants.

"Look at me, baby."

"So pretty like this."

"Such a good girl."

Likes to hold your hips.

Maybe leaves bruises.

(And totally apologizes afterwards)

I can see him liking doggy.

infrontofamirrorsohecanstillseeyou

I said nothing.

Maybe holds your arms behind you.

Or grab your hair.

You'd have to ask though.

Because he doesn't want to hurt you.

And even if he complies, he's constantly asking if you're okay.

He needs the reassurance.

He'll give you what you want but you have to tell him that he's not hurting you.

You're his precious baby bean and the last thing he wants is to hurt you.

UNLESS

Yeah, we're back to pushing his buttons. Take that pin out.

:))

Let's say the tone encouraged the brat in you and you wanted to test how far he'd go.

He's not gonna say anything while you're out.

Oh, no.

And of course, you're gonna take that as 'he's not gonna do anything', and you keep going.

But he's keeping track.

:))))

And it'll definitely come back to bite you.

"You really thought you'd get away with that?"

"Did my baby forget who's in charge?"

"What kind of punishment do you think you deserve?"

It's a trap, don't answer.

Because whatever you say will be wrong.

If you're thinking you got a one-way ticket to rough sex you are also wrong.

He will hold a grudge.

And he will fuck you over when you aren't expecting it.

Let's say you wanna cook dinner.

He offers to help.

:))))))

You're there, minding your business, chopping up some veggies.

He comes up behind you, all sweet and innocent.

His arms loosely around your waist.

Until he pushes forward and you're trapped between him and the counter.

You wonder why he's like this but then you remember.

:))))))))

You're trying to focus because you know he wants you to give up.

But he's got a plan.

His arms tighten around your waist and he leans down to press kisses on your neck.

He's still eyeing the hand holding the knife.

"Think you can do something for me?"

"If you can finish prepping those, you have permission to cum whenever you want."

Another funishment I think he'd be into is making you wear a vibrator that he can control.

But you have to be super busy.

Errands to run, homework to do, studying for a test.

You have to be doomed from the start, essentially.

Because then he has a reason to talk shit.

"C'mon, baby, we're just walking around the store."

"Focus, baby, you can do it."

"See? You're doing so well."

"If you can finish this assignment on a higher setting, I might let you cum."

You get princess treatment afterwards, lemme tell you.

He has pajamas set up but you have to bathe first.

But you don't have to do anything.

He bathes the both of you so can just relax in the water.

The bath is completely PG. No dirty thoughts bc he knows you're tired.

Shampoos and conditions your hair.

Gently washes your body, being extra careful where he knows you're sensitive.

Dries you off :((

And does the hair wrap thing :((((

Puts the pjs on you and goes to get some water.

He lets you pick a movie.

Not that you'll be awake for it, he just knows you like background noise.

He just puts on pajama bottoms so you can fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat :(( <3

That one's for me bc I love that shit

The second you wake up, best believe you'll have all the food you can think of in front of you.

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motherofplatypus · 1 year

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I wanna talk about something that i believe it has 50/50 chance that people will agree or absolutely wreck me, but I'm doing it anyway because I've argued about this back then and the amount of people who don't find this problematic is mind boggling. This is about the massive double standard that Adrien has within the fandom. Trigger episode: Multiplication.

I can still remember the oh so infamous scene of Felix from S3. Y'all remember? When he disguised as Adrien, tricking Ladybug, and about to non consensually kiss her? Man, the fandom was on fire that day, calling it sexual harassment and how much people hate him. And don't get me started with the legendary accursed wax statue scene from Puppeteer 2. Man, the writers must be high, drunk, trippy, and wasted when making those episodes. I want what they ate.

So, anyway, Multiplication exist, Mari is done with Adrien, Adrien speedrun his feelings towards Marinette within a day or less, and skipped twenty steps of How To Start A Relationship Like A Normal Person and went on to kiss her without consent, multiple times (is that why it's called Multiplication?). Sounds familiar with what Felix and Marinette did? Although in Marinette's case she doesn't know it was Adrien, but I'm putting her here anyway bcs i can and i want yall to live that moment again with me.

Why are people hating Felix and Marinette for what they did but glorifying Adrien when he did the same thing? I've seen so many people calling it cute or just straight up losing their mind in the sea of shipping and UwU and stuffs. This is a problematic thing in the show that i dont see many people talk about.

"Oh, but kissing is a normal way of greeting in French."

For those of you who gonna use that as an argument (one I've seen multiple times), here's one word you might've skipped when you're reading this post: CONSENT.

Watch that episode once more and tell me if you see anything that shows Marinette is willing to be kissed. If there's any trace of her giving him consent to be kissed.

Find any?

Hugging is also normal, but if you're about to hug someone and they refuse to be hugged, what will you do? Will you come back another day and try to hug them again, or will you not do that again because you respect their boundaries and consent?

Adrien did none of that. He just goes on and on and on for days to come without as much as a little thought that maybe, just maybe, he should stop because Mari is very visibly and obviously not okay getting kissed.

"Oh, but he thought Mari is still into him, because she's been acting all clumsy around him all this time."

Fair enough, but back to the keyword here: consent.

I'll give him a pass for trying to kiss her twice. Once, because like the statement above, and second, because he needs to make sure that Mari indeed refuse to be kissed by him. But he tried like what, four times? We've joked about him being blind, but this is plain idiocy.

And let's talk about Alya too. Girl, your so-called best friend is visibly uncomfortable with the idea of getting kissed, and she also told you why she's done with Adrien. Why on heavens through hell would your action be forcing your best friend to receive the kiss? You're a shameful excuse of a best friend.

"Oh, but Alya has been listening to Mari talking about Adrien non stop, so of course she's gonna make her take the kiss because maybe she wanted something to finally happen between them."

Like i said, she's a shameful excuse of a best friend.

(Lord, i can still remember when Alya holds Mari down, and Adrien just take that chance to kiss her. Good lord, that's blatant harassment.)

Alright, let's just say y'all and the writers are hellbent in having Adrien try to kiss her multiple times, here's an alternative that would've worked: he also kiss Nino and Alya as greetings. That's normal, right? Kiss your homies hello, don't leave others craving for your kiss from those luscious cherry lips. Why isn't he kissing them too if kissing is a normal way of greetings? Just, seriously, the situation would be far, far, far much better if Adrien also kiss the others, because then it won't look like a sexual harassment on Marinette.

Why didn't the writers think of that is beyond me, but these are the same people who make Felix and Marinette scenes in something they always call a "kids show", so it's to be expected.

And so, it has been a piece of my thought. I know some of you will be furious with this, but what's an opinion without some spicy replies. And so, I'd like to hear your opinion. Do you agree, or disagree. Am i being ridiculous with how i perceive this topic. Share your thoughts.

That being said, I'll see you all next time. Byeee.

#why the writers aren't getting sued or reported for how they treated the children in this show is still a mystery #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous lb #mlb #adrien agreste #chat noir #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous adrien #miraculous marinette #miraculous salt #mlb salt #ml ladybug #adrien salt

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reorientation · 6 months

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I'm that one Anon who is ace FtM and wanted to know about other "FtM"s experiences with risky sex and getting knocked up, and I am Living for all of these people coming forward to either reveal their accidental pregnancy, or confessing how badly they want to be bred!

It reminds me of a fantasy of mine that I recently had that I wanted to share: across the street from my house is a big parking lot and series of stores, so we get a lot of homeless people and panhandlers and the like. And I imagined one day, after work, approaching one of the homeless men and making an offer.

"so I don't carry any cash on me and don't have my wallet, but if you want, we can find somewhere and I can give you a handjob?" and he'd be skeptical at first but eventually shrug and agree. We go to the nearby park (it's late at night so it's empty save for some other sleeping or zoned out homeless people) and I start to jack him off, slowly but surely. I'm a virgin and it shows, and he mocks me for it, and before too long I'm squirming on the bench and soaking wet bc I HAVE to fuck him.

I immediately offer him my dripping wet pussy and he's surprised for a moment bc he couldn't tell if I was a boy or a girl, but that settles it, and he agrees enthusiastically. I love the idea of being fucked in a public bathroom by a stranger, so we pick a place and start to walk over. During the walk I tell him all of my conditions for fucking me: "don't lick me or kiss me. You can give me hickies but only if there somewhere I can hide them, like my shoulders or my chest. Don't fondle my chest, I don't have much feeling there and no breasts anyways. Don't touch my asshole. That's pretty much it"

"there's a convenience store nearby, you got condoms?" He asks gruffly. I blink wide eyes at him as we get to the McDonald's we plan on fucking in the restrooms of. "Oh, I was planning on letting you cum inside of my bare cunt" now he looks surprised by clearly turned on

"shit. You on any--"

"birth control? Nah. But the risk is more than half the fun for me. That's why I don't wanna know your name, and why I'm not taking off my hat or pulling down my mask. If I get knocked up, it's going to be by a total stranger" he doesn't waste any time corralling me into the bathroom. There's a private family room with a door that locks, and no one is paying attention, so we go in there and I quickly pull my pants down to my knees and lean against the wall

"hurry up and fuck me" I pant, and he doesn't even pull his pants down further than bellow mid thigh before he's thrusting his hard cock into me and I'm hiding my moans. He gets closer and I start to whisper "yes yes yes, inside me, cum inside me, knock me up, wanna have a stranger's baby!" and he cums so hard inside of me that we both see white.

I do my best to keep his cum in me, and I thank him. He thanks me as well and then offers to let the other homeless people around here know about me being a bareback cum dump. I get him to ensure they're all clean and agree to come back over the next few weeks, taking dozens of raw loads from strangers inside my unprotected pussy.

In an ideal situation, I would get knocked up, carry to term, deliver my baby, and then wait at least 4 weeks before going out to get pregnant again. But ofc this is a fantasy, and even if I did let a bunch of men raw my pussy, I would likely not get pregnant :(

Thought you and some of your followers would like to hear my thoughts tho ❤️

This particular scenario isn't quite my thing, but posting it for others' enjoyment!

And yes, being the recipient of all those life stories - fertile little "boys" learning that they're going to be mommies, or giving in to their pussies and knowing what the result will be, or just turning from self-respecting "trans men" into frantic bitches in heat - is maybe my favorite part of running this blog.

#ftm detransition kink #kink interactions #ftm misgendering kink #reorientation writing #reor: anon ask #ftm breeding #ftm girl #reor: anon fiction

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aro-rambles · 3 months

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I love seeing your posts on my dash. Thank you for being a supportive voice in the aro community 💚🤍🖤

bro thanks fr I'm losing my mind by knowing aphobes are real and they actually think that shit and also they seem to be terfs in general so that's also an insane thing to know is real

I don't wanna close my ask box bc of people like you who are nice and cool and not mean so here we are. making posts.

I'm glad you like my posts!!!!! kinda reminded me of how maybe I shouldn't be wasting my time on people who aren't worth it bc there's a whole bunch of people who are

sorry I'm rambling gdhdjs anyways yeah thanks!!!

#ask

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skeletoninthemelonland · 1 year

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ok so… i wanna ramble with you and offer my help with animating BTC but i’m too anxious to be straightforward besides you most likely wanting it to be a solo production either way, and you have other things to do apart from chatting like how would i even start the conversation¿ idk man eughssdfhkgfklñ anyways i hope you didn’t read the first time i said this bc that’s embarrassing.

— a shy moot.

aaaa this is the first time I'm reading this text!!

(sorry if my answer is too long, but I really wanna let this out)

About your offer, I really really appreciate it! Having a project as big as BTC would usually take more than two people working on it, but like you said too, it's a solo project. Still, I thank you very much, and also, as a shy person myself, I relate so much to what you said bhadsbdhasb

I've thought countless times about recruiting people to join the production, not only in areas like animation but the sound design and writing too. However, I don't trust this project, or perhaps don't trust myself with it.

My biggest fear is creating something that will be a big waste of time, not only for the viewers but for the people who'd be involved in the project as well. You see, this is a BIG project based on a silly idea and it's being developed purely for fun. If it's gonna take all this time and effort only to look bad in the end, then I want to be the only one responsible for it. If that happens, I'll simply cancel the project and move on. I don't wanna drag even more people along with it. I'm scared every time I post something new because sometimes the story writes itself in front of me (that's not exactly good).

It is also a very risky experiment. I wanna know my limitations. I'm even more scared of my writing than I am of animating. Truth is, I have dozens of Episode 1 drafts, most were discarded because 1. The dialogs were TERRIBLE or; 2. Another relevant change in the story forced me to start from scratch.

I want this story to be great, and to have passion. I want passionate characters, meticulous world-building, and a solid ending.

That's why this will stay a solo project... at least for now.

If Episode 1 gets good feedback the series will continue, and only then I will call for help.

Again, thank you so so much !! Don't be afraid to DM me. Sometimes the site bugs and I don't receive notifications of new messages, so it might take a while for me to respond :[

#by the way here's something very important:#I WILL be asking for criticism from people. I want them to tell me it's bad so I can try again #thank you for reading until here #starbstalks

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togalnu · 6 months

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Do you have any specific hcs for fem togainu or just fem nitrochi as a whole? I'd love to hear them! ^^

Oops I meant to answer this earlier. Anyways yes! I will be putting this under a read more because. Lol. Enjoy!

You wanna know a secret? Earlier this year I was researching parodies and the legalities of them because I had the grand idea to make a togainu remake but yuri and with some story changes. A whole ass visual novel. I was seriously planning on making it. Suffice to say I have put in some thought in turning these yaoi boys into yuri girls.

We will be here all day if I list every little thought and headcanon I have! I'll def make more posts about my visions in the future, but for right now I need to talk about Shiki. I NEED TO TALK ABOUT SHIKI.

First and foremost, my overall thoughts about Shiki: wasted potential. His route was a huge disappointment when I finally got to it. It was fumbled so fucking badly and it pains my soul because Shiki is hot and I love the concept of his character but.. man. What a let down. I ended up thinking about him a lot because of this. What I would do if I were in charge of writing his route, parts of his characterization that I'd rid of or ameliorate, and maybe even giving him some new quirks to not make him so one-dimensional-evil-villain type. And then along with this, I started thinking about what if he was a woman. because I am attractdd to women. Typical thought process.

First, his design. I am a sucker for black haired red eyes bitches. I love black and red. I'm dying my hair black and red at the end of the year. The majority of my wardrobe is black and red. I do not play around #EMO. I love the almost leather gothic look he has but unfortunately it is not enough for me. I felt that he needed more unnecessary accessories and belts and other clothing items, as any goth should have. I've had a few ideas in mind for Shiki girl outfit and they all lean into these more, like giving her extra bracelets, belts, necklaces, crosses, whatever. I want her DECKED OUT!!! But I also struggle coming up with outfits so I can't really decide what looks good LMAO

Things I love about Shiki's outfit:

- The gloves. UGHHH gloves are so fun. The longer the gloves are the better.

- His stupid coat

- The spikes and crosses. The silver adds a lot to his appearance

- Turtleneck<3

Things I don't like about Shiki's outfit:

- those stupid ass notches on his pants. I can't tell if he has insane thigh-high boots or strange pants, and neither can a lot of artists it seems like? Though it seems pants are the consensus. SAD!

- Turtleneck should have long sleeves

- Or his coat should have long sleeves. One of those two

- What the hell is going on with his belt. It'd look fine if it didn't have those strange hanging.. circle... things

NOW MY IDEAS

I like the idea of her having a corset and fishnets, so I've been including that in whatever iteration of her design I'm working on. I gotta keep the coat too as it's like, a Shiki classic. I've also been trying to decide how a skirt for her might look (I love the idea of it having a slit so you can see her fishnets and thigh high boots).

But I'm torn on including the turtleneck as much as I love it.... I feel like it kinda clashes. Idk maybe i should just move her skirt up so it's not hanging off her ass but also it's fun to draw it that way.

Although adding another belt with the skirt could work too, and have the fishnets peaking out from the skirt slit... not gonna draw that rn though im just brainstorming here

Like I said earlier I'd love to give her way more accessories than base Shiki has but I need to definitely play around with outfit ideas more bc I don't want her to look too cluttered either. Also sorry all the pics are torso only because for some reason I struggle HARD with drawing calves and feet

I don't have much to say for hair ideas.. I just like the idea of it flairing out + two long.. idk what to call them... strands of hair? Down her cheeks?? Okay well u see what I mean in the pic. Bangs pretty much stay the same

And ohhh my god I know togainu is set in the post-apocalyptic future, but considering it came out in 2005 I feel obligated to rework some of the designs to be a little more y2k.. Akira with low waisted flared jeans... making Shiki even more gothic... it's so fucking fun HOW CAN I NOT!!

Also the other day I saw this one corset that I LOVED and wanted to see if I can Shiki-fy it but hmm... idk... I definitely need to play around with the idea more but here's a quick sketch i did just for funsies so you get the idea

Okay moving on

Second, his characterization. I love the idea of what they were going for in terms of his relation to Nano. I wish so badly they had expanded on this past Shiki just hating line users and killing them because he's unable to kill Nano (although I do think this is a pretty good bit of characterization). I'm pretty sure the Chayamachi manga goes more into this but idc we are talking about the game so I'm gonna pretend it doesn't exist.

Shiki is smug and cocky. Incredibly so. But a big part of his character is how hateful he is, so much so that it's this hate that motivates everything he does.

I love it. I love his hatred. I wish the game went more into it sooo badly and like if he found out Akira had anti-line blood before the end of the game and there was time given to show his reaction? Would he hate Akira for it??? Would he feel any kind of resentment?? If I was Shiki I'd definitely feel complicated as fuck over it!!!

Anyways I'm still working out how fem Shiki could be improved upon in terms of this, and I LOVEEE LOVE LOVE LOVE writing personality and backstories and relationships with other characters and how they all interact with each other. I have very deep oc lore because of this but i will not get into my ocs rn because they have nothing to do with togainu.

This post is already long enough however and if I were to talk about all the ideas I had for Shiki characterization upgrade... well it'd take even longer. To say the least. One day I'll talk about it though! In a more comprehensive post including other characters and whatnot. It's something I definitely also need to work out in my head more tho

It's been a pretty fun project so far that I hope to do more with in the future. Side note that doesn't really matter but there's this song that I always imagine fem Shiki amvs too oops.. RIDE IT by LustSickPuppy... this part especially.......

(the part is around 1:17 if you don't feel like listening to the entire thing. But u should)

Urggghhhh I love lsp ugh ughhhhhfuhrhhcuuhfhuufghh sorry for posting lyrics and a spotify link. It will happen again

OKAY. AMYWAYS

I do not give a fuck if all of this seems too self indulgent. If anything it's supposed to be!!! It's a labor of love!!!

Thank u to anyone who read this far. I appateciate it

#asks #im crazy #tnc #shiki

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nyaagolor · 8 months

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First up- I LOVE your analysis and lore and everything, and as the number one Geeta lover you are literally one of the only people who I would see write "Geeta team edit" and actually keep reading. Most of these are done in such bad faith, so thank you for just not. I DO however have a few thoughts.

I think Espathra as a lead is actually really good. The opportunist ability stops players from boosting at the start of the battle, lumina crash is an absolute menace, and espathra's association with being beautiful and viscous I think really fits the overall theme of Geeta and her team. I would love to see espathra running stored power, but that's a nitpick.

Armarouge/ceruledge are absolutely amazing picks and definitely should have been on the team, 100% agree. I think ceruledge would again fit her overall look and theme better.

Gholdengo...like I fully get what your saying about it being rare to find and a good choice in that sense, but I really think champion teams should show off their personality first and foremost. And gholdengo is so gotdamn silly, I just can't see it working with her team/vibe.

I actually really like gogoat tbh. Ik it's not a Paldean Mon but idk the rest of the team around it just really pulls it in thematically. Theres not a lot of reasoning here I just like it lmao. Same with veluza tbh, although again I think this one fits her theme really well. Also I despise rabsca. Personal opinion on that one lmao

10000000% agree about putting glimmora with Geeta in the same way as Nemona and pawmot, absolutely! And also making glimmora way harder to find in game, yes! I admit I did like finding out about the connection between Geeta and area zero after the fact, purely because it keeps Geeta relevant in the post game lmao. It's just nice to have her continue to be mentioned even while off screen and in theory done story-wise. I will say that glimmora can hit like a special truck, and I personally love using it as an ace/sweeper, but again thats my preference. I find it's actually kinda wasted potential using it for just set up. The ability is honestly more of a nice bonus than something to hinge the whole strat on.

That's all! Again, love your analysis sososo much! I just read it and got thoughts and wanted to share because I am constantly rotating Geeta and her team in my mind. And also like. The aesthetic and the theme are sooooo important

hiii thank u!! Talking about Geeta in any capacity is a goddamn nightmare bc there's like a 50% chance that if you don't have a giant blocklist someone is gonna come into ur notifs like "well um Actually" about something. We in the trenches out here. Anyway

Espathra: So a few people have pointed out that Espathra fits her really well either as an lead or just for the vibes and after thinking about it I'm inclined to agree. I didn't include it at first because it's Tulip's Paldea ace and I hate repeats but tbh? Tulip can find another psychic type. Geeta gets the bird now. Maybe that's why Tulip hates her so much

Celruedge: So I uh. Actually made a slight mistake in my original post. I meant to update it so she always has a Celruedge bc Mela has an Amarogue and then forgot to update the post before it posted so. Oops! Anyway yeah agreed Celruedge is cooler for this

Gholdengo: Imma be real with you I hate this thing. I included it on her team because no one else uses it and it would be a fun surprise but also I hate it. It doesn't fit her vibes whatsoever and I just wanna know Why it looks like that. A debateably necessary evil

The only reason Gogoat isn't in this team is bc I made a rule that they had to be exclusively Paldean pokemon. I am her Gogoat's number one fan I am ride or die for that thing. Giving him a little kiss on the forehead. I'm a Geeta's Gogoat apologist

I don't know anything about comp but I have friends that do and they mentioned Glimmora being her ace would require a lot of teambuilding around it which I don't know how to do nor do I want to. Lead or ace or whatever-- it's her little guy

Thanks for the ask!!

#mod vex #ask

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strawberrysturniolo · 2 months

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So this isn't really related to the Sturniolo triplets or anything but I've seen a lot of people talk to you about guys and dating advice!

I've never dated anyone (I'd like to keep it that way for a little bit) and all my friends have. I've had dozens of crushes on guys before but in October of 2023 I really liked this guy. On October 20th we followed each other on social media but never talked in person (I'm still in school) and he had a girlfriend. And I'm not a homewrecker so I wasn't gonna try to get with him (didn't wanna anyway) so I kinda waited till him and his gf broke up until I started texting him and we bonded over a lot of things. We both felt comfortable replying to others posts and texting out of the blue.

A few weeks ago I had asked what his moms name was and he told me. And I can fully say I'm in the wrong in this situation but I just kinda feel like he's being a bit dramatic. But anyways, I search her Facebook cuz I wanted to see if there were pics of him🤷‍♀️ and just last night (we've been talking a lot) I asked if he was Puerto Rican and he said he was white. I know he isn't white and I know his dad is but his mom isn't. So I was like "well Ik your dad is, but what's your mom" and he goes "white" and I was like "brooo no way. Your grandma? What's she?" And THENNNNN (keep in mind this whole conversation was all jokes until he said this) he got all serious and was like "how come you know so much about my personal life" BITCH NO THE FUCK I DON'T!!!! so I said "dude, I don't know anything about you that I haven't directly asked you. All I fucking know is that you have a dog. I don't know your fav color, animal, show, movie, person, sport." And I started getting a little bitchy and he left me on delivered for 30 mins and so I text back "sorry, that was really rude. It's just that I think your pretty funny and wanted to get to know you. I didn't wanna come off as weird but obviously it must've, sorry" and he opened and then blocked me😗😗😗 so I went to my last resort, tiktok😔😔😔 and I said "dude what" and before I could talk he blocked me on there. Like CUNTTTTTTT who tf u think you are??? Anyways I'm scared to go to school tomorrow (skipped today) and I don't have classes with him but ugh. And he was the only guy I've ever genuinely liked. So idk. I kinda can't get over it. Butttt sorry this was long! (How do I get over this😭😭😭)

babe... im sorry idk how to say this but i think you came onto him kinda forceful like you gotta think about how you would feel if someone came to you and let you know they knew a lot about you that you hadnt really told them directly about

you just have to be okay with rejection like dont put yourself forward to someone that doesnt want you bc youre just wasting your own time and pushing them further away

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ppangjae · 7 months

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yeah it’s all always the same lacklustre writers and readers with dull comprehension that defend each other anyway 🤣 when pointed out how l a c k i n g you write, it’s always the same excuse of “iT’s nOt tHaT sErIoUS” — but hey, you’re right! ‘cause ain’t nobody takin’ you seriously with that awful thing you do that you think is called “writing”. no wonder y’all always gotta reblog your own works just to beg for interaction on what you’ve posted lol then blame it on “iT’s ‘cAusE tHe rEaDeRs arE nOt rEbLoGgInG” — but no they really don’t wanna interact and just take advantage of your “hArDwORk” bc y’all actually ✨ s u c k ✨

lmfao you're honestly just wasting your time and it's hilarious in my opinion. it's the fact that you took time out of your day to send me not one, but two asks.

you could've been more productive with that time, like get a cup of coffee, take a power nap, maybe meditate. meditation is a good habit to have to remove all of the negative energy that consumes you.

but i guess we're just not productive as we want to be, huh?

what's even more hilarious is that my best friend was just going about her day peacefully, only to hop on tumblr to a horrible ask. it was completely unprovoked and honestly, i'm not quite sure where all of this negativity comes from.

anyways, if you have a problem with me defending and speaking up for my own best friend, i don't care.

let's take some deep breaths, anon. drink some water. take a nap. i feel like there's just a lot of negativity and stress that you need to get rid of.

OR! even better! get off of tumblr and stop reading fanfics (which again, aren't that serious.. i don't know why you're so pressed about that) because clearly, us writers just don't live up to your high expectations and we're tired of putting up with anons like you.

(P.S i don't reblog my fics just to beg for interaction, i reblog them as part of my queue. clearly, you don't know how i run my blog.)

take care! and stay safe!

#ask alex

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goldrushzukka · 2 years

Text

aidays playlist breakdown: chapter 2

ryan buzzfeed unsolved voice let's get into it

here's the fic (spoilers ahead)

here's the playlist

careless whisper by george michael

this is the only song mentioned by name in the fic. it’s in the chapter. it’s canon. i talked about this in this post about zuko’s taste in abba, but in my mind aidays zuko is very much a classic gay icon enjoyer. like he is a friend of dorothy. anyway i put this song in the fic mostly as a joke (saxophone sexiest instrument of all time) but it is also a little bit about them.

(ID: "To the heart and mind / Ignorance is kind / There's no comfort in the truth / Pain is all that you'll find". End ID)

obviously this is like a silly little meme song whatever whatever IS THIS NOT THEM? IS THIS NOT THEM? let's lie to ourselves and each other about what this means and what we feel because it's easier. it's safer. ignorance is kind.

(ID: "Should've known better than to cheat a friend / And waste a chance that I've been given / So I'm never gonna dance again / The way I danced with you". End ID)

a little bit of liberty taken with that first line bc they're lovers and not friends and there's no "cheating" except for breaking the rules of their arrangement by developing non-casual feelings but. the rest of it is sooooooooo. ougugh. like. for the whole "breakup" period of the fic (ch5-9) both zuko and sokka are trying to deal with the fact that actually, there is no one else. there will never be anyone else. they have ruined each other for anyone else. zuko goes on these little dates with jet and the whole time he's wondering when he's going to feel it, that thing he felt with sokka. when is it going to feel the same? when is it going to feel anywhere near as good, as right?

sleeping in by all time low

the first few chapters of the fic are so funny bc pretty much every song on the playlist is saying the exact same thing in a slightly different way.

(ID: "Tell me that you got nowhere to be / Can we stay all day (All day) / Lay low in our lazy luxury / Sex in a rosé daze (Daze) / All day, it's a real good thing". End ID)

this is very much what the start of aidays is about: sex so good you don't want to do anything else. can't imagine wanting to do anything else. getting so wrapped up in the euphoria of someone who just understands what you need like no one else does, that before you know what's happening you've already fallen so fast and hard you'll never recover.

summer love by carly rae jepsen

ohhhhhh when i say every carly rae jepsen song is about aidays.......every carly rae jepsen song is about aidays. and she is so right all the time.

(ID: "I was down for the first night / And now I'm down for a second try / When you touch me, I wanna fly / I'm so down for you all the time". End ID)

this song is so sexy and flirty and fun and that's exactly the energy i wanted to bring to this fic. it's light it's breezy it's so simple and casual except it's NOT!!!! but sokka and zuko don't know that yet. for right now in ch2 all they know is they can't get enough of each other. at this point in the fic, and going forward, they could eat each other whole and it would not be enough.

father by the front bottoms

ok ok. the front bottoms are so bad. but also i love them. and this song is so good. like it's awful it sounds terrible but it is so good. to me.

(ID: "I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat / And he is screaming and crying for help / And maybe halfway through, it has more to do with me killing him / Than it ever did protecting myself / And I believe that yeah, Dad, maybe no one is perfect / But I believe that you are pushing your luck". End ID)

it can't all be fun little sex songs. this verse was not necessarily an inspiration for the tragic backstory reveal in ch2 bc that was always coming, but i do think it fits well with what i'm trying to do with zuko's trauma in this fic. i think canon zuko should've had the opportunity to beat ozai up but maybe that's just me.

(ID: "But you look good tonight, girlfriend / Can I sleep in your bed? / And when I crawl out in the morning / Can I stay inside your head?". End ID)

this for me is about like. wanting to impact someone the same way they impact you. the anxiety around reciprocation. pretty much immediately post-ch2 zuko has his first oh moment (I Am Writing It. Calm Down.) where he realises that he might have some real feelings for Sokka, that this thing might not be as casual as it was supposed to be. and that's where this little bridge comes in. "can i stay inside your head?" in the sense of, will you still think about me when i'm not in front of you? will you think of me the same way i think of you? are you in this, are you with me, wherever we're going?

sin by tomberlin

shoutout to rena @dreamrena for putting me onto this one! it makes me want to eat dirt

(ID: "Boyfriends, what are boyfriends, what are boyfriends when I have you?". End ID)

i mean. this is the thesis statement for chapter 2. who needs a relationship with labels and commitment when whatever the fuck this is feels so much better? (spoiler alert, it feels better than any other relationship either of them have ever had bc they are soulmates.)

(ID: "And we never should've left that room / And we never should've said hello / 'Cause I miss you when you go". End ID)

this idea of wishing you never met someone bc the way you feel is So Much is touched on in chapter 6 when sokka and suki have their big feelings talk. at that point everything has gone to shit and sokka thinks he's never going to be happy again (he is stupid) and he's cursing the day he ever met zuko, because, yeah, what they had was fun, but was it worth this? was falling in love with zuko worth all the pain of not getting to keep him? did sokka ever have him in the first place? (he did. he does.)

#i never know how to end shit like this #if you guys want a conclusion paragraph you have come to the WRONG college dropout #mine #aidays #and ill do anything you say #uhhhh #what did i tag the other one lemme check #zukka

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undead-potatoes · 5 months

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I wanna ask that question right back! Which of your OCs is most like you? I'm curious!

I thought about this question for like an hour while trying to sleep last night, and all I'll say is don't do deep self reflection exercises in the dark before bed kids

Also this got kinda long, ops 🙈

Much like you (and I'm sure everyone else) I put pieces of myself into all my OCs, intentionally or otherwise, and so they all have bits of me.

I don't know if it's because he's so fresh in my mind, or if it's because I didn't have too much of a plan going in so he just became a natural reflection of me, but Jay is really high up there on the list.

Loud, talkative, jovial, happiest when he's of help to others, solution oriented and takes most unforeseen problems in his stride. But he's also incredibly self-conscious, and terrified of taking up space or being a bother to someone else, often forgoing his own needs bc it's not THAT important, it's fine. Sorry for existing.

He naturally gravitates towards other people's problems and a wish to help them (whether that's welcome or not), but prefers to stick his head in the sand when it comes to dealing with his own shit. When things get bad emotionally he goes into himself, and can become borderline dissociative, just lost to the void.

He's extremely good at finding stuff other people need but can't find, feeding into this need to be helpful. He's bit of a control freak and perfectionist too, and has to stop himself and call it good enough or he'll go on forever (wow look how topical)

I could honestly keep going but this is long enough as it is 🙈 I have no idea how we ended up here but I guess he's my emotional support self-insert blorbo now, bye.

Still, he's his own character. He's much better with people than I am, especially children, and doesn't have Retsuko-levels of rage bubbling right under the surface at all times. He's more manipulative and mischievous, and small grievances bounce off him easier. I only ignore my problems until I have to deal with them, he actively runs away from his. He's more extroverted than me, and doesn't mind big crowds, while they're the bane of my existence. And so on and so forth.

ANYWAYS this somehow turned into the a Jay post, I'm sorry lmao. His character wasn't really planned at all, I just let him grow naturally from the way I played (kinda like with you and your Aeducan), and once I took a step back and looked at him I was like "hold on a minute, this is just me if I was cool and had extra trauma, what the fuck".

Honorable mentions of pillars of my own personality shoved into other characters go to;

Courier May (F3/NV) - So damn angry all the time about everything, much of it useless and a waste of energy, but it's really hard to turn it off.

Nimri Brosca DA:O) - This applied more to younger me, but I can get REALLY ride or die for someone, like to the point where it becomes a major character flaw.

Pomona Hawke (DA2) - Did you eat? Yes? Are you sure? Are you wearing enough layers? When did you last apply sunscreen? Did you remember to drink enough today? [The mother hen questions goes on for another 5 minutes]. Also everything is always my fault somehow.

Sam Jones (VtM:B) - Just absolutely insufferable about social justice, and the other half of my rage that's an answer to injustice. You've not seen me angry until I've had a whiff of something cruelly unfair.

And because I feel like I've been too negative here;

Ridley (Coral Island) - Hard-working and generous :)c

#Sunny Answers #mightymizora #answer a question like a normal person challenge: [impossible]#it's amazing how much more endearing a lot of my shit seems when it's applied to fictional characters in my head and not me #like irl they're just annoying lskdgjsdg #this honestly feels so scary to post but whatever it's out there now

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hamliet · 1 year

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Soooo… ummm…

This is a late topic, but I wanna ask when the jjk fandom calmed down a bit. Anyway… Got any opinions on chapter 208 of jjk? Since… ya know.

That chapter sparked a huge controversy about how female characters are being treated. I mean. There’s also the discussion about how the fight went too.

But yeah. Thoughts and Opinions on chapter 208 and how Gege treats the female cast?

Hello! I actually got several asks about this when the chapter dropped and didn't answer bc I was Going Through It at the time.

My opinion isn't uber positive, obviously, but it is also not that different than it has always been in regards to how Gege writes female characters. I wasn't surprised, and I don't say this in a "told you so" type way--really, and I didn't post earlier because I really, really don't want to come across like I think this. "Disappointed but not surprised" sounds too flippant for what I actually mean, if that makes sense? I don't feel schadenfreude. I just feel sad.

Like with Horikoshi, I don't think Gege has any malice or overt misogyny. I just think that he's a man in a society that privileges men. The reason I think it feels like such a betrayal is because, unlike say Horikoshi or Kishimoto, Gege started writing female characters to be kick-ass. That's the easy way to seem feminist, and I actually think Gege isn't doing it to be a bait-and-switch or a jerk, but because he genuinely wants to write strong female characters.

But due to personal experiences and my own pet peeves, I side-eye badass female characters as written by men. Fair or not, I do--a bias of my own, I suppose. What I mean is that in our world, we sideeye traditionally feminine things--kindness, softness, and in terms of stories, romantic plotlines. We tend to be drawn to praise male characters--who tend to be better written--but the substance of what makes them better written has nothing to do with being able to physically kick ass and laugh while doing it. Yet, that's the easiest trait to replicate among female characters.

Like, James Bond is historically not a fabulously written character just because he kicks ass; I'd say he has the same depth (in earlier films at least) as Twilight's Bella Swan. They both work for the type of stories they are in, however. Yet most people would be more likely to praise James Bond than Bella.

What I look for in terms of a well-written character is if there is an internal world that is rich and compelling, that pulls the story along. Gege has written that for male characters like Gojo, Yuta, Itadori, and Megumi, even for smaller characters like Junpei. Mai and Maki had/have depth, but Nobara has next to none. You can remove her from the plot and basically nothing changes thematically or plot-wise, and that's exactly what happened, so it's not even really debatable. So I started grousing about seeing Nobara held up as an awesome female character just because she kicked ass. I think Nobara has potential, but I think she is, as is, written with the same unexplored potential and shallowness that Haruno Sakura in Naruto is. And I guess what annoys me in particular is that the world, including fandom, inherently sees Nobara as a stronger female character just because her focus is fighting. Love is seen as something that weakens Sakura. And I'm not saying Sakura's better written than people think--she isn't, not really. I'm just saying the way fandoms respond to Nobara vs Sakura (with Sakura held up as the quintessential wasted love interest) belies our own unconscious biases towards denigrating traditionally feminine traits.

So, the particular developments of 208 don't surprise me.

I'm going to post one of the asks about 208 from when it happened that I got below:

Hmm…

Not sure if you have caught up with jjk lately, but mannnn… lately I’ve been pretty disappointed with gege’s writing. Especially toward female characters.

Um… spoilers for jjk 208 I suppose

Like, why gege have to under utilize Yuji like that? Like I suppose it was a battle between ideology with her and Kenjaku, but if that was the case… why her dialogue near the end so focused on Choso and not like… her actual thoughts and ideals.

I dunno man… Yuji was introduced as someone who has her own agenda of changing the jujutsu world, which doesn’t necessarily mean she was on the protagonists’ side. She have so much mysteries and questions she brought up. She’s a Special Geade One Sorcerer!

She was so interesting and I so so invested in where she will take the story, but then… 208 happened.

I mean… I know I should have expected this since what Gege did with Mai and Maki, but I was so hoping that Gege won’t disappoint me again.

Now my expectations for the future of jjk is gonna be pretty low for female characters. Since whenever I see an interesting or nuanced set-up for a female character, it’s bound to become a disappointment in the future…

My only flickering sparks of hope would be Miwa’s future development, and a hopeful possibility of Maki’s arc being salvaged.

I agree that I think Maki has the best chance of having a decent arc, even if it's taken a detour into yikesville. Miwa I hope for as well, but admittedly I'm more invested in Maki.

#ask hamliet #jjk #jjk 208 #feminism

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