#I'm like so bad at getting my things circulating but I'd love people to like play with that idea if they thought it was cool
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The phrase “we have been aware of the high levels of competency from KT's writers, especially with their work for 3H” is worrying; i'm not going to shit-talk them just for thinking that 3H has a good story, especially when someone's standards for what makes a story good or not is subjective and could be different from ours, but KT's story-telling skills are never going to improve if people keep only telling them that Three Houses' deeply-flawed story was actually a narrative masterpiece, instead of a self-contradicting mess with plot points it introduces solely as gotchas and has no intention of ever following up on in any meaningful way, characters getting assassinated left and right to try and argue that female Ashnard might actually be right and not so different from them in terms of morality and goals (while they're in the middle of fighting for their lives and watching their friends die in battle because she decided to invade their home unprovoked and solely for a landgrab), and an over-powered villain group that should have ended the story long before it even started because the writers decided to give them a stockpile of magic nukes they can launch at anywhere in the world, which was also introduced solely for shock value and without them realizing how much of the story is ruined by making it so that the villains who want to kill everyone and take over the world can just nuke anyone they want (that isn't inside Garreg Mach when they launch it) with no consequences.
I just don't like what it means for the future of FE stories if the worst story in the series keeps getting praised as one of the best, even by separate developers, is all.
Wait and see anon!
For what it's worth, while Engage's sales are apparently not as stellar as Houses in the same timeframe (like House after month 1 and Engage after month 1?), Nopes totally crashed.
Amazon isn't the only market in the world, but in some places in the world (tfw not for amazon.fr) Nopes is now sold at around 15 bucks, which is ridiculous considering older games released on consoles still being in circulation are more expensive than this thing that is barely 1 year old(even the first FEW?).
Also, Engage was supposed to have been released earlier but Covid and Houses being released later than planned meant it was delayed, but Engage was supposed to be Fodlan's antithesis, at least writing wise - you'd think IS would have tried to retrofit more Fodlan themes (maybe more uwu maybe some villains aren't BaD and earl grey because they luf u) but they didn't.
Imo, fwiw, while KT apparently loved how Fodlan was received, IS is aghast and doesn't want to touch it within a 10 meters radius, only if it means selling units in FEH and even there, they sometimes retcon Fodlan units (hello F!Billy/Sothis) or challenge them in various FB (Brave!Supreme Leader, but also in the most recent one, Sylvain harping on his Crust being BaD...) clearly showing how they don't really want to follow KT's direction regarding those units - at times, it's almost as if the CoS receives more development in Heroes than in both Fodlan games!
So I'd like to see what IS has in store for the next FE games (or the next non remake FE game), even if in my opinion, given how Heroes has to retcon/finish the writing (Mercedes reveals more about her Adrestian family in FEH than in two of her games!) for characters just to sell them in the gacha game ffs, speaks volumes on what they think of Fodlan's writing.
On top of that, FE16 was the first game where people received surveys/mails from Nintendo/IS asking them if they understood the game... - so despite Fodlan selling well (better than expected?), imo it's clear the writing isn't to praise, at least for IS, and they don't want anything to do with it (Nopes' DLC was scrapped, when shiny!Rhea's sprite was datamined, so either they made an useless sprite, either this sprite might have been used in a future DLC?)
They can still butcher a future remake (plz no jugdral) by adding pointless supports between units and trying to uwu more than needed the red emperor - or add an OC waifu du jour who will sell merchs and try to uwu her if she is on the side of the red emperor - but I feel like we will see where they will go with a brand new game (since Heroes's writing is... as consistent as a fog and basically circles around "women sad'n'lonely*, men evyl", female playable OC simps after the avatar and is useless in the resolution of the plot because Alfonse will finally find a mc guffin way to defeat the villain of the year).
*i truly hope Vero isn't any indication to what the writing of the future games will be, like heavy retcons from her first apparition to "i was brainwashed and akshually everyone supports me from my home even if i send them to death against askr because the voice in my head told me to do it" because that'd suck, but vero is a young woman, thus she could be monetised for alts, figurines and even DLC content in a main game!
#anon#replies#fwiw even the main redshit subs seems to be tired of the 'uwu stellar writing uwu'#i mean some people on the main sub#and call out the crap writting and incoherent plot points#I'm not joking about the CoS or at least Nabateans lol#they receive more love in FEH than in both games combined#especially Rhea which makes me happy#and billy too!#also lol@the shitstorm when Cyril was released#bcs some people didn't get the memo that Gonerils had him work without being fed in the main games#but here FEH puts it in your face through his own lines and Sharena's description#sure it's not too much because it's FEH and Cyril is a grail unit thus didn't get any FB#but it's better than the nothing he got in Nopes#and the bonkers supports and endings he can have in Houses that completely elude the topic#even Hubert in his support comments on how Adrestian Nobles treated Petra when she was brought to Adrestia#but in Cyril's support it's never mentionned he's just insulted and that's it#no one mentions how that certain house has almyran servants they forgot to feed#top tier writing uwu or is it just not throwing dirt on a waifu who can sell alts?#character rant#FE16
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hi! saw your match ups were open and wanted to send a request if that's ok! im a woman and my pronouns are he/him. i don't have a gender preference or a type. i'd like romantic if that's alright. as far as aesthetic goes, i'm not really sure what to call it. i work as a receptionist so i'm generally just always dressed smart. i'm not really one for dresses, trousers and shirts are my go to. i wear a lot of jewellery though, at least one ring and one bracelet on each hand. i always wear glasses bc i cannot see at all and i've got long reddish hair. as for personality im quite a quiet person. i always help people where i can. i've got a dry sense of humour and have a tendency towards cynicism but at least i'm fun with it. i'm a very organised person. confrontation is not my strong point. i'm not afraid to stand up for myself and others, i've done it before but i will shake the entire time and i wish that was an exaggeration. i know its bad but i love a good gossip, its fun. i've got a few hobbies and interests, i love reading, mainly crime fiction. that ties into my other interest of true crime, i actually have 2 degrees in forensic psychology. i'm a very music oriented person. not only do i listen to it a lot, but i also play piano and sing. i engage in a lot of genres but i've been balls deep in an inescapable musical theatre phase for about a decade. i used to be in a society for it, definitely better at singing and dancing than acting, and i also did a lot of backstage stuff. i was even stage manager in one production (never again). my job and my degrees required me to be quite tech savvy in the sense thay i needed to know how to use a couple data handling softwares which i somehow managed. things i like - books, animals, sunny weather, warm white lights. things i dislike - people that don't have manners, loud overlapping noises, being rained on, insects. i don't have any characters that are a hard no. i hope i've done everything alright, you're such a talented writer and thank you :)
Hello! Yes, you’ve done everything perfectly and provided me a lot of information which I appreciate ;3 also, thank you for calling me a talented writer, I appreciate it a lot :((
Now, prepare to be sssurprised, as I match you with...
Sir Pentious!
Yes, him! Allow me to explain: you said you’re a cynic, a person distrustful of human sincerity. Sir Pentious is the exact demon who would prove you that some people, in this case him, are sincere. He’s a genuine individual, somewhat ingenuous if you will, who likes the simplest of things such as drinking good tea and having friends.
Described as a wussy fighter by Vivziepop herself, he really needs somebody who will stand up for him and you seem to be the right person for this job, as you’re not afraid of doing so. He actually quite admires your courage, as even he can notice that you’re nervous when you stand up for other people, and yet he wonders how you manage to do it either way. He thanks you profusely each time this happens, and promises to look out for you in return.
Your job and degrees requiring you to be a quite tech savvy person makes me think that you’d somehow end up getting asked for help in some of his inventions; he trusts that you’re somewhat of a quick learner and smart, plus he simply loves to include you in his hobbies just as you include him in yours (more on this later!), so having you around him and the Egg Boiz is quite the pleasure every time.
Despite being a little silly, Pentious can very well be a gentleman, too. You dislike people with no manners? He’s more than willing to hiss at them if you ever come across any. You hate loud noises? He’ll make sure to invent something, anything that could help you with that. Don’t like being rained on? He will remove his jacket to hold it over your head if he has to. And rest assured he will remind Niffty about the gross bugs circulating in the Hotel if she doesn’t clean well enough.
Sir Pentious is not the most courageous demon around, we’re all aware of this. But! For you he will make an exception, and watch all those true crime videos and read the crime fiction you seem to be so passionate about. After all, you join him in his hobbies, so him participating in your is the least he can do. He’s also not afraid of gory situations themselves, so that’s something. He unexpectedly finds himself enjoying the time spent with you, especially reading, and he definitely interrupts you at least once each time to prepare a cup of tea for both him and you, if you enjoy it.
I can also see him being mesmerized by your skills each time you sing or play piano, and he would definitely try to learn how to sing/play along! He comes up with all these silly little tunes, it’s quite endearing on your side actually, and he surely wants to hear the most modern music you can play for him.
Pentious doesn’t really care what his lover is wearing at all, he will compliment you no matter if you’re dressed classy, cute, edgy or if you’re just getting ready to go to work. To him, you’re the most gorgeous person around, and while he’d be a little more on the shy side at first with compliments, he’d definitely go all out once you’ve been in a relationship for a while. He quite enjoys your liking for jewellery, and will remind you how pretty it looks on you whenever you’re putting it on.
All in all, I feel like you two would be the cutest representation of ‘opposites attract’!
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin x reader#sir pentious x reader#sir pentious#hazbin hotel matchup#hazbin hotel matchups#hazbin matchup#hazbin matchups#matchup#matchups
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Re: Tagame on the term bara, there's this bit from an interview with the man himself, published in Ishii, Kidd, and Kolbeins' Massive: Gay Erotic Manga and the Men Who Make It. Seattle: Fantagraphics 2015.
The title of Bara-Komi raises an important linguistic sticking point for Tagame: the widespread misuse of the term "bara." Literally "rose," bara is an antiquated slur for gay men. It took on a new layer of meaning in the 1960s as the title of the private circulation gay publication Bara, and the subsequent mass-market magazine Barazoku (Rose Tribe). "It was very shocking and sensational to publish something in the jargon of the hetero nomenclature for gays," says Tagame. "It's exactly like the word 'pansy' in English. Whereas gays probably don't call each other 'pansies,' since it's not necessarily a good thing, to reappropriate it was a big deal. But by the time I was getting bigger as an artist, that word was almost obsolete, and we no longer use it. It was important for us to call ourselves 'gays' and 'homosexual' rather than 'bara,' which is just what hetero people call us. "Gay" became the primary identity label for homosexual men as a more internationalized concept of LGBT identity gained political and social ground in Japan. "By the 1990s," Tagame remembers, bara "was totally obsolete, Barazoku magazine was becoming obsolete, and the whole nomenclature was about to completely expire. But in the early stages of the Internet, when people were on all these Internet boards, basically, the people running these forums were straight, so they called the gay board the 'bara' board. Of course, the Internet is how foreigners discovered our work. They saw that this whole section was called 'bara,' so that's how I believe foreigners started to use and appropriate that word. The word has come back to life, unfortunately, and I have to say personally, I'm sort of against it. I don't call my own work 'bara' and I don't like it being called 'bara' because it's a very negative word that comes with bad connotations. (Ishii et al 2015:40)
Lmk if you read Japanese? If you like, I can drum up more sources like this :)
This ask is related to my post on the yaoi debates.
More on Tagame and Japanese terminology! Thank you so much for sharing, I really appreciate it.
I'd love to read more on this! I do read Japanese but with some difficulty (I'm not super familiar with 硬 japanese). I would still like to give it a try :)
#bl fandom#bl history#learning more is fun#but there's a lot I do not know#that yaoi ronso post was the last one I going to make but Im happy Im getting to know things I didn't know thanks to that#gengoroh tagame
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Took me longer than anticipated to get back to this. Let's see how far I can get through Volume 3 tonight. Hopefully, I'll at least pass Puppetman up....
Archive
Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10
Trigun Volume 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 1 Supplemental Research, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8
TriMax Volume 1: Covers + 1-2, 2 DT, 3-4, 3 DT, 5-6
TriMax Volume 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7
TriMax Volume 3: Covers + 1-3
Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 3, Chapters 4-5 below.
Chapter 4: Emilio the Player
Oh, hey. We're starting back with Brad instead of with Vash or Wolfwood or the girls.
"Something must've happened to them." Do I want to know? I probably don't want to know. Am I gonna find out anyway? Of course I am.
I still don't know who Emilio is. But it just occurred to me that "player" can also mean "actor," and Puppetman thinks of what he is doing in terms of a play, so that might be it.
Puppetman is talking about winning, but Vash has already lost. He has lost so much already. This isn't a fight where Vash comes out on top. It's one where he tries to survive while somehow keeping the core of his being intact. But I'd hesitate to call the bare basics of getting through this a true "win" scenario.
Ugh, Vash with the girl he accidentally shot. I love how his coat is just... going nuts behind him. What is physics? It doesn't matter anymore. Coat is now a part of him and it reaches out both like a defensive shell and like grasping claw, ready to tear apart whatever threatens them next.
Oh, good. I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know who the heck Emilio is.
LOL, NOBODY knows who Emilio is.
Dude. Did Vash just get in Puppetman's brain??
Ooh, Puppetman didn't like the name Isabel. What's more, Vash knew he wouldn't like it, and deliberately paused before delivering it.
Puppetman's having a meltdown. Good for him. Please melt more.
VASHU ZA STAMPEEEEEEDOOOOOOO!!!!
🎵 It's raining men! 🎵 🎵 Hallelujah, it's raining... wait, those are just doll parts. That's not as fun.
"Why are there so many?" Please, Brad. Stop asking questions neither of us want the answer to.
Mmm, that's bad. Looks like maybe Puppetman got the doc. Oh, gods. Just thinking about what the equivalent would be in Stampede makes me want to curl up into a little ball and die.
I wonder if in all this, some part of Vash wished Wolfwood was just a bit closer to speed things along. Then again, I don't think Vash would linger on such a thought. Not while cradling a girl he accidentally shot in his arm. Not when Wolfwood might make a similar mistake with a far greater chance of fatality.
Oh, so Emilio doesn't know he's Emilio. Dang. NO ONE. NO ONE KNOWS WHO EMILIO IS.
LOL, he forgot about his little doll boy whose name I already forgot.
Is... Puppetman melting? I thought Ninelives had the monopoly on self-inflicted body horror this round.
Where'd the girl go?
Did... Vash set off the sprinklers?? With a Molotov cocktail???
Tasty shot of Vash silhouette in the sprinkler rain. Pure art, this.
Six miles of string? That's too much string.
Wet, angry Vash!
Don't grind your teeth until they crack, kids. You need your teeth for the rest of your life.
RIP Puppetman's hands. I bet he wasn't a fan of his own blood circulation, anyway.
Wet, tired Vash. Someone get this man a warn towel and a hot beverage.
Vash isn't doing so hot, is he....
Uhhh, what are all these little cross boxes???
Thank you, Brad, for asking a question that's actually helpful this time.
Oh, that must be Isabel.
Chapter 5: The Long Goodbye
Oh, shoot. She's awake.... -ish.
Ah, let's just upgrade that "oh, shoot," to an "oh, shit." Brad's in, like, the WORST possible place to be right now.
Eyyyy, it's my boi Wolfwood! He looks tiiiiiired. But maybe Ninelives is out of lives? Maybe? Possibly???
Ew, he has PEOPLE in him!
LOL, Wolfwood just punching the shit out of the weird little people. I don't blame him, TBH. I'd have had enough of this creep show already.
Strangling the old man-baby thing.... As priests do....
GoshDARNIT, this thing won't DIE!!!
Ms. Bingo?? I don't know if that's supposed to be her name or if Brad's making a pun on how she's the thing they needed to find in all this.
Oops, Puppetman knocked over all his precious boxes 'cause he was pissed at Brad.
Ah, that box does not, in fact, appear to be full of doll. Brad's reaction to its contents is... reasonable.
I know Brad is kind of a jerk, but I do hope he gets out of here ok. I'm glad he's keeping his head about him in spite of everything.
Ok, I don't know what's going on here. The... ship is... coming apart... I think??
Ah, yeah. There goes a chunk.
Puppetman, saved by his strings.
Wait, Vash!? Ugh, babygirl....
Messy-haired Vash! Messy-haired Vash!!!
Yeah, there's a reason we don't tie MILES of string to our fingers. You can take a little physical pain to your hands, Puppetman. And losing your doll lady, too. I'm cool with that.
WTF, now there are mini-puppets? And they're attacking Vash?! No! Go away, mini-puppet!
I guess that's one way to commit suicide.
Wolfwood, behind you. WOLFWOOD, BEHIND YOU!!!
AAAAHHHH!!!! GIrls! Milly looks like she's having a blast. I'm so proud of them!
LOLOL, Wolfwood is shook.
And Vash is here, too! The party is back together! Hooray!
I mean, THAT sure went from agony to pure silliness fast.... I might need a moment to process....
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Yo! I'm Cou, like in Acoustic! That's where the 'cousticks' comes from (mind blown, yet?) I'm a whole 21 years old, and would prefer they/it pronouns.
This account is my dumping ground for fandom posting, including analysis, aus (which you can find a list of here), writing, doodles, and more! You can find some of this writing on AO3, too.
I follow back from the url 'causticacoustic', as this is one sideblog of several. Please do not be alarmed by a purple Master Chief icon following you out of nowhere, or leaving asks, that's me!
Minors are welcome, but I'd prefer only my 18+ friends DM me. 18+ mutuals are welcome to my discord, too! Just send me a DM.
I encourage talking to me. Be it via asks (anon or not!), comments, reblogs, DMs, whatever, I love conversation, I'm just a little incapable of starting it, usually.
More blog info below!
Content
This is mostly a BSD blog. In the future it may also contain other media. Vanitas no Carte is probably going to make an appearance eventually, who knows what'll come after that.
Other media interests I doubt I'll post about here include:
the Halo universe
FLCL (only the og. we don't talk about the reboots.)
Portal games
Dishonored games
bad action movies in general
and more!
I also have other non-media interests, but I won't clog this up with them. You should totally ask me about them though.
I don't post or reblog anything NSFW. This is 90% because I don't want to forget to tag something, 5% because I'm ace and don't really need that here, and 5% because I don't want to make this blog a place minors can't go.
Tagging
Honestly, I'm not great at tagging upsetting content. If you need something specific tagged then leave me a DM or ask (anon or not) or something and I'll try my best to keep a running list of what needs tagged and how (I keep a Google Doc for myself for my tagging system and will happily add your needed tags to it). Chances are, you'd be seeing violence or blood. If you're in the BSD fanbase, I'm kind of making a blanket assumption that you're okay with that when you interact around here. If not? Good luck, I guess.
I give all characters their own individualized tags. I'm working on making them all short song lyrics. Please feel free to ask about any tags you see! Characters that haven't been given lyric tags yet are given the tag 'placeholder [character] tag.' If they're an au-specified character, such as from Beast, its specifically 'beast [Character] tag'. I have a handful of AU and/or concept emoji tags. If I ever see it relevant enough, I'll make a key for them.
Drawings are tagged #doodles. 'Personal' not really content posts are tagged #sticky note. More put-together posts I intend to actually circulate in the world are tagged with the fandom and relevant characters / novels, ex. #bsd dazai, #bsd fifteen, etc. People I interact with frequently might find themselves with their own tags as well! Mutuals, please don't think I suck for not giving you a tag or something pretty pretty please. My brain is very tired so I'm limiting it to those that appear often I promise I'm not slighting you personally on purpose.
Asks
I love getting asks. They can be actual questions on my thoughts, chain mail, insults, little gifts, whatever. I don't care. I love them and will treat them all with care. I have anon enabled and will always have it enabled. I'm also a big fan of ask games and have a ton of them tagged under #ask games. Those are all active all the time forever (though if its an older one you'd have to specify) I just like having things to talk about. Please talk to me.
This is very long and says absolutely nothing. Please direct all questions, comments, or complaints to the ask box.
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I'm pretty bad at explaining stuff but here goes nothing lol
The story, happening in a small village in the mountains, 5 or so hours away from the nearest city, is about a man called Aurelien who, after getting new interesting missions at his town treasurer job, him and his wife Julia finishing their house renovations, their son Hugo getting married, thought his life settled down. But, despite being a planner type, he could've never prepare for what happened to him.
Basically, one day he just began to undergo sudden growth spurts, increasingly spaced in time and more and more unpleasant.
The first time, he didn't even noticed it. A small nauseous feeling followed by a slight neck stiffness he blamed on late work. Three days later in the morning, that feeling lingered a little longer, then his entire body ached. He maybe grew a few inches but it was enough for him and Julia to freak out about. They told nobody about this except Hugo of course, and Mar, the town's doctor and a long time friend, who set on understanding what was happening. A few days passed and no answer so far but it didn't happen again, so they thought they could just make up a quick lie if people questioned him and slowly went back to their routines.
But two weeks, while he was out at Pat's coffee shop with a couple of friends, that queasy feeling came back. He brushed that off at first until the stiffness came next, more brutal than last time making him unable to walk out of sight. Everyone there saw him just grow 10 inches in the span of a couple of seconds (not gargantuan ofc, he could still walk under most door frames without scraping the top of his head). It circulated quickly around town. After some discussing, Mar noticed the pattern and they came to the horrible realization that this would keep happening, and it'll get worse.
This story is a funny excuse to explore characters reactions and evolution in that kind of setting. Like, Aurelien is someone who likes to plan everything. Not knowing how and when it'll happen next throws a wrench in his life plans. He gotta let go and let things change. Or for example Mar badly wants/needs to understand: he'll spend hours searching and studying (but to no avail because yeah, there is absolutely no explanation for this. I haven't came up with one lol. It's just like that XD) And there are also characters for fun interactions and exchanges like Tatiana, Hugo's fiancée, who's more fascinated by all this. Or her mother who is an awful loudmouth ("You should reconsider your marriage, honey. In case this is hereditary" kind of person >:U)
Now, how does it end? Not sure, but as long as I can rotate and cook it like a barbecue in my head, it doesn't has to.
[Maxwell's theme song faintly playing in the distance]
Lurking this is amazing!! Really, I'm so sad you didn't tell me more about it. I love the premise (it's my favorite you know that auahs) and also also I love how it's a normal setting you know? A normal guy with his family, job and friends, and suddenly all these things happen to him. It's unique and that's why I love it! And you already have names and internal conflict for your mc and everything (I love when the lesson is about learning that not everything is under your control). You should definitely write it! Like, your description was already engaging so I'd love to read a story from you with this premise!
#You can't just present me with such an interesting story and leave me hanging like that aaaah:'D#tldr I love it I want moreee#coffeh answers
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Hi! I'm Ash and I hope you don't mind me dropping in for the matchup thing. I'd prefer to be matched with one of the JJK men (preferably the adults).
In terms of personality, I'm an INTP. My astrological signs are Sagittarius sun, Cancer Moon, and Gemini rising (though I'm not super knowledgeable on if that's accurate to me). I have a bit of social anxiety so I'm really bad at small talk and meeting new people. However, once you get me to break open, I'm more on the weird side (I feel like that's everyone though). I enjoy joking around with friends, but if anyone tries to flirt with me I am kind of a sarcastic, snarky, and teasing bitch. I can be mean, but I usually don't mean it. Other than that, I talk a lot about sex for someone under the ace spectrum (Demi). I'm terrified of intimacy and physical touch triggers my fight or flight. But I show my love via quality time and acts of service.
In terms of looks, I'm pretty short at 5'3" and hate every mention of it. I have thick black/dark brown hair that I keep long and usually in a ponytail for work. (Though I do be having a lot of grey hairs, they actually look pretty cool). I would say I'm skinny, but I'm not bone thin or muscular or anything. I also have brown eyes and wear glasses. I'm also Wasian if that gives you an idea of the general vibe of appearance.
Likes: Nature, Travel (More like planning unrealistic bougie trips at work), Anime (more like fictional anime men 😅), DnD, cozy video games, Cats (Specifically my cat Petri (As in a Petri dish because I'm a nerd)), Microbiology (my degree), Food (I like a lot of diverse foods)
Dislikes: Cilantro (I have the soap gene 😩), the cold (my circulation is bad so I'm always cold), work (the constant internal debate to just become a sugar baby is real), capitalism,
Hobbies: Learning to code (idk if it's a hobby or me trying to learn so I can get that six figure salary), learning Japanese, Writing, Cosplaying/Sewing, Baking/cooking, video games, reading (mainly fanfiction)
Hey Ash 🥰 You’re such a Sagittarius, I love you (I’m one too 😉)
So I think you’d be perfect for Mr. Suguru Geto
Being a person that is introverted, I think he would afford you the space to be alone and be yourself or simply be content with sitting with you while you two do your own thing. He doesn’t force you to talk if you don’t want to.
He’s definitely the calm reassuring type, he’d be amazing when it comes to anxiety attacks, giving your hand a light squeeze with a smile to calm you or a whisper that he’s with you.
I’d say Geto is also a person ask himself lots of questions and who looks at things for what they are and tries to do what he thinks is best, similar to your personality. I think it’d make good conversation for the both of you and it’d flow very easily. Geto is also kinda chaotic and makes decisions sometimes on a whim so taking you on a spontaneous date night is definitely up his sleeve.
I don’t think he’d mind the snarky attitude at all, he finds it amusing but is sure to let you know that you are being feisty.He’s 6’3 🫢, finds your height cute.
When it comes to physical intimacy, if he knows about how you feel about it he’ll definitely let you initiate first and make sure you’re comfortable with whatever. Very caring checks in with you every 2 mins if he knows something is wrong. Picks up on your gift giving (such as sagittarius thing 🫶🏽) and keeps everything you give him. Tries to help you cook probably isn’t the best at it 😭
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Hi. I'd like to talk a little about my time on social media as an artist. I'm sure a lot of this has been said by a ton of artists before me, but I'm going to say it again anyways.
My online handle is @ commiicc. I've gone by the alias Comic for a few years now. I was extremely active of Twitter during the height of the DreamSMP fandom. My time in this community brought me many memories and experience. Both good and bad. Today, I just want to focus on the art.
In my opinion and experience the art community of the DSMP fandom was so incredibly toxic. Artists were the backbone of the community. It was said time and time again. But this held many artists to unfair expectations. The turn around on art was insane. If art was not posted directly after or the day after the stream/ event it would flop. Posts would circulate about the perfect posting times, which I would memorize, then be so sad when I'd post at those times and a price would still fail. I'd blame myself. I'd internalize it and think I just wasn't good enough. It was never my art. It was simply the shit algorithm that is any social media, but that didn't stop me of course.
And I watched so many young artists beg for followers, because validation meant everything. And we all wanted to be mutuals with the popular, big twitters because that meant we'd made it... right?
I watched followers drop and people ask if they'd done something wrong to deserve it because canceling was so common. It was usually just bots being deleted, but "what if I did something wrong" was always everyone's go to.
Going back to artists being the backbone of the community and pumping out content. I used to say how thankful I was for the community because it made me grow and find my style. But in reality, I only found my style once I stepped back and took time on a piece. I was just slapping shit together back then. I hated most of what I made during that time. It was all rushed. Because no one gave me time. I always felt so rushed to post something so it gets attention. Post something so my followers don't think Im leaving. Because if you took too long to post (more than a week) you'd start losing people. I was a small artist and craved that attention... So I forced myself to create, even if I had no ideas. It's pushed me into burn out.
I'd compare myself to other artists who somehow created masterpieces in like two hours when it took me ages to do anything. I compared myself to everyone and hated everything I did. It was incredibly unhealthy.
I've only just now started making things I enjoy again.
Even when I switched fandoms I was still in the mindset of pushing out art, so I hate it all.
Only after burning myself out can I now restart and find my style... Can I now actually create again.
And I know that's just the culture of social media. and people used to tell me "just don't care" "just don't look at the views". do you know how hard it is to be a 16, 17, even 18 years old and NOT look at that??? to be a new artist and NOT care how much attention your art gets??? when a content creator that you love can see your fanart and has actually seen it.. all humans want is validation. Social media prys on that toxic need. On that innate human need. Cause yeah, we all want to know that what we're doing looks good, but holy shit was that place bad.
And I KNOW I'm not the first person to say this. I'm just trying to share my experience and I'm putting all this disclaimer here in case... So please just check yourself and remember we're all human. Social media is kinda awful and this is literally just my blog to share long thoughts and archive who I am. My time on social media fucked me up a little and I'm just now realizing it. That's what all this is.
So yeah all this to say, I'm done posting my art on social media for now. I'm done pumping out art just for the sake of it. When I create something worth sharing, I'll post it. But for now, I'll be in my comfortable void. I'm around and always willing to chat about the art making process or just chat in general. I'm creating. I always have been. I'm just not sharing it. It's not for your eyes.
It will be when im ready.
And new artists, young artists, any artists; your worth is not determined by the views or likes a post gets. Your art is worth more than any amount of attention it gets on social media. Don't create for attention. Create because you enjoy it. Create for yourself. That's where the magic happens.
thanks for reading. sorry this is long. I'm very wordy. thanks for being here.
- Comic
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Ok, I haven't kept up with troy baker, but if you don't mind me asking, what did he do to be a bad person? (I have gotten a bad feeling from him before, but could never place why, and I only know him thru kojima stuff, not interviews)
I'll still always love my boy higgs tho
(Even if i have to seperate art from the artist)
Nonny, I'm going to be real. I was very tempted to not answer this. I don't like stirring the pot. That being said, I do feel people shouldn't hold celebrities to godlike tiers so I'll share a bit of my experience. All I ask in return is to please not take my response as an invitation to pry further.
This has nothing to do with his NFT stint, the David controversy, or the Window To The Abbey/pledge music fiasco that's been circulated around the internet for the record.
I and several creators interacted with Troy during the height of the pandemic. Everybody got to know one another very well. To his credit, Troy was generous with his time. He taught us a lot about the industry, shared his experiences, and hung out with everyone like "one of the guys". This went on for about a year or so, give or take. I've had some great conversations and experiences with him myself.
There was a miscommunication between me and him at some point. This coincided with me being sick, and long story short, he hit me several times when I was already down. And I've spent the past two almost three years trying to find closure and get over it.
I don't wish him ill despite my bitching in the tags at times. I don't hate him. However, I do acknowledge he's a very flawed person, and there are things he needs to work on. I still enjoy the work he has done, but I wouldn't trust him again as an individual in confidence. He lost that.
I'm not going to pretend I'm perfect, either. I know I'm not, and I honor that, but when you've lost my trust, you've lost my trust. At the end of the day, I doubt he cares about that, and it's painful to say cause it takes a lot for me to get to this point with someone.
Does it upset me that people love the guy to death? No. Troy is talented, and I know firsthand he has the capacity for kindness when it suits him. I don't want to spit on the positive experiences people have had with him. I'd rather let his own actions speak for himself.
I'm sharing my two cents because I feel as fans--and people in general--we need to be mindful that celebrities are human. They make mistakes and can hurt us just like anybody else.
But if you can help it, don't meet your heroes.
#please respect my boundaries and don't pry further and thank you for giving me space to share#that being said he's a piece of shit and i wish him well
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1.30.24
i am drinking longan, red date, and goji berry tea. lately i've really taken to it and have been drinking it every night. it makes me feel like an old apothecary, reaching into my cabinet to find the jars of dried herbs and tossing a little bit of this and that into my cup to brew my nightly health elixir. this particular combination is great to drink in the winter and can help with blood circulation (something i am always in need of). it's warming my cold fingers as i write this.
lately whenever i open up twitter wanting to tweet something, i just get overwhelmed and i end up closing the app with a slight sigh. i don't feel bad. people take breaks from fandom all the time. but it always feels a bit difficult to come back and makes me question if i even should. i do feel a little bad about the messages in my ao3 inbox that i haven't responded to yet. i feel an obligation to the people who read my writing even though it's an obligation not tied by anything except a love for fanworks. and nearly all of those people are extremely patient and understanding of me.
truthfully, i haven't really been excited about genshin and genshin fandom lately. the excitement will come back (maybe soon, with the new patch) and maybe i'll dive back into it with a renewed vigor. but for now, i'm letting myself enjoy other things. (i have caught up on a lot of shows and books recently and it's felt really nice).
i also have had some major life updates recently. it's a little scary but change is always like that. despite the good things, i still feel a strange string of melancholy and dread permeating through my days. the universe has granted me the blessing of something new, so i should welcome it with open arms and here i am, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. i always expect awful things to happen, because in my life, something good is always accompanied by something disastrous. my therapist and i talked about how i am like orpheus looking back at the last second, wondering, "is it really true? is everything i love gonna follow me?" only to find my own shadow staring back at me. funny, how that story goes. i'll do my best to resist looking back.
anyway, despite how inactive i've been, i still have been writing though. quite a bit, surprisingly. i've been pouring a lot into this haikaveh/kavetham wip recently (a ship that i never thought i'd ever write for. but maybe it's bc of my life recently and i've been feeling like a kaveh kinnie). it's currently at 20k words and writing it has made me fall in love with writing again. partially i think it's because i haven't announced much about it (or made the mistake of eagerly posting the first chapter before it's all finished) and there are no expectations, just me and my outline and a cup of tea. it feels so much better writing when i let go of the perceived expectations i have for myself. i feel so creative lately. maybe the best work really does come from stillness and endurance. i've outlined tbal all the way to the end (although writing it has been admittedly difficult. there's something bittersweet to me, thinking about tbal ending). and also, i'm extremely grateful to have been accepted into 2 zines recently (meriwether: an anemo boys zine! and another, secret one that i'm not sure i'm allowed to announce yet) and i'm really excited about the pitches i made for those. i can't wait to share it all soon. if you are waiting, thank you for your patience.
if you've read through this rambling personal update, thank you. i hope life has been treating you well. and if life hasn't, then i hope you're treating yourself well. i hope you have things that bring you joy and that your hands are always warm and if not, then i'll recommend some longan, red date, and goji berry tea. cheers, minh.
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WAITTTT the hairbrush thingy is smart,,, for some reason i have used. Other things. but never that??? i feel like i've Failed oh my gof. BUT YA I DONT BLAME YA ON LIKE HOW IT FEELS TO USE FINGERS... mine are really long but my hands are always freezing cold so its like. Jumpscare. fishanon freezin 24/7 my circulation soo bad
ALSO THIS MORNING WAS LIKE. THE BEST THING EVER. i dreamed of mao isara... my love.. wife... everythin to me... hes so good its the kinda dream that leaves ya moanin when ur wakin up... it was a little scary when i woke up cus the walls are thin but thankfully my pillow was like. Smotherin me. auauag i love mao so much.... i like to think hes gentle sometimes but honestly... all that work he does must have him riled up n in need of a stress reliever... n hes so good to u too, like makin sure that ur getting equal if not more pleasure from the whole thing. siighhhh i knew i wasn't gonna be normal for the day when i dream abt mao fuckin railin me. 10/10 tho🐟🐟🐟❤️❤️❤️
NOOOO LITERALLY..... IT TOOK ME SO LONG 2 THINK ABT HAIRBRUSH HANDLEZ 2 AT FIRST UR ALL GOOD HEHEZ!! I was literally tryin 2 fuck penz 4 too long in my desperate horniness bcz like 3 people on tiktok said it felt good.... it didn't!!!! I just felt very sick LMFAOO
OUUU MINE ARE FUCKIN FREEZING 2 (╥﹏╥) MY CIRCULATION IS GOD AWFUL 2..... (not helped by pots w/ my wacky fucking blood pressure SMH) cold feet, kneecapz n fingerz..... ( ；∀；)!! itz nice on the clit + titz thou !!! it makez them even more sensitive n shit!!! which is nice because they're already super damn sensitive WAAA ,, but like!!! fucking hell anywhere else I'd feel just. thrown off???? HAHA
OHHHH I ADOREEEE THOSE DREAMZ...!!!!! WAAA HAPPY 2 HEAR U HAD 1 HEHE!! (≧▽≦) ᰔᰔᰔ!! every so often HiMERU (it'z always HiMERU, nobody else SOBZ) fucks me in my dreamz ++ I wake up like literally droolin on the pillowz + unable 2 get him!!!! out of my brain!!!!!! I had 1 recently where I was his younger siblin ++ he was being all distant + shit ++ I got so needy 4 him so he decided 2 say fuck it lemme spoil u !!!! literally pampered me w/ his cock ( ꈍᴗꈍ)ᰔ I FRRR FUCKING SCREAMED OVR IT???!!
but AUUU OMFGG OVERWORKED NEEDY MAOOO.... imagine when he's pent up after working his ass off all day, wantin nothin more than 2 b inside of u ++ literally can't take it anymore he HAS 2 see you... 2 fuck u!!! it's like he needs it more than air!! Ur usual sweet boyfriend is still sweet to all hell, but there's something off about it, which u can't put Ur finger on until ur fuckin, then it all clicks into place.
his thrustz are angled in that exact way that makez u melt, his cock bullies against ur deepest points as he pantz!!! so much!!! ++ whimpers out so many praises, and reassurances like a broken record, he's drunk on the pleasure!!! ++ when he gets closer this turns into frantic babblez, his hipz splutterin as when he cumz, he cumz HARD, as a result of how pent up he is, usually big ass loads 2!! he'd be so fucking relieved++ that mixing in with post orgasm bliss??? he's a MESS . hehe :3cccc
I'm abt 2 go 2 sleep so prayin !!! so fuckin bad !!!! I have a dream abt being absolutely broken on madara's cock please please pleas pleaspleadplsshjvfm ! ! !
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My critique partner's debut went live on the ARC sites recently and it's getting absolutely slammed by reviewers. Do you have any advice for how to be a good writer friend when this happens?
Sometimes if a book I love gets a lousy review, I look up MY FAVORITE all time books. Classics, like Where the Wild Things Are or something. Books that WE KNOW are great. I read those one-star reviews. And I realize - you can't please everyone, and lots of people are just plain wrong AND stupid. And the more people you reach, the more likely it is that stupid wrong people will get into your orbit. And Maurice Sendak did not give two f**ks if Norman Q from Oklahoma City thought the Wild Things were satanic. He would have laughed, I'm certain. The more of these you read, the funnier they get, and that helps me put this nonsense into perspective.
Anyway. On to your question. So you, as a friend, can, of course, write a NICE review to counter-act the negative ones, and enlist other people who have read and liked the book to do so. After all -- if YOU like the book, and other people liked the book enough to want to acquire and publish it, presumably it's NOT hot garbáge, so surely there are people who will want to say nice things!
And if any reviews truly are just dog piling / bashing the author / bullying or something like that, report them if there is a way to do so. Like I've had situations a couple times where an extreme right-wing pastor or somebody talked about one of my books, and sent all their minions to flood us with bad reviews, and we were able to report and get the most egregious ones where they clearly hadn't even LOOKED at the book taken down.
Meanwhile, if your friend wants to vent, let them do that -- but also gently let them know it's a limited time event. You can and should be compassionate, but you can't really be expected to hear endless complaints about this for the next however-long, that's not fair to you, and certainly unhealthy for them. I'd propose something like, "How about we have a friends weekend where stay OFF the internet, eat ice cream and drink margaritas, go to a scream room or whatever, ceremonially block all review sites together, then go to a spa and emerge refreshed, relaxed, and ready for a fresh start."
It's like a breakup or something, IMO - yes absolutely they should punch that pillow, get those feelings out, do some self-care -- but then they just have to pull their pants up and move forward, they can't wallow around indefinitely.
The thing is, reviews aren't FOR authors. If you are a thin-skinned person, as many authors are, you should not be looking at them AT ALL, actually (and it shouldn't need to be said, but you FOR SURE should NEVER respond to them!!!) - If I were an author, I would block those sites like they are X-Rated and I'm both a sheltered child AND a helicopter parent.
I know authors who get stressed and upset or obsessed when there is ONE slightly negative line in an otherwise glowing review -- they don't see the glowing part at all, they can only see the negative shining like a beacon -- so of course, actually-lousy reviews really suck to get.
However. There's an upside . . . which is hard to believe if you are in a bad head-space, but is actually true . . .
If you are getting reviews... positive or negative... that means you are getting READ, and people are invested enough to actually say something. Most books actually DON'T get read, or nobody cares enough to review them. So if your book is getting read AND provoking an emotional response from people, enough so that they are moved to actually write a review, that's actually better than nobody even looking at it at all. Because one person's 'ick' is another person's favorite thing. And your book is much more likely to find THOSE people if it is actually out there, circulating and being talked about. Reaching those readers is what it's all about.
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hey, can u not censor swear words in ur transcripts, heres a post explaining why
but in short: its considered ableist and infantilizing to censor anything in transcripts, especially swear words, cause not only are you giving hoh and deaf ppl a different experience from hearing ppl, but ur also infantilizing them by disallowing them from hearing something as simple as the words "fuck" and "shit"
deaf and hoh ppl are not innocent lil pwecious uwu soft beans and have just as much rights to hear swear words as hearing ppl, and by censoring swear words ur just being ableist, infantilizing and disrespectful
so yea, when it comes to transcripts do. not. censor. a. single. word. nobody cares if censoring words its a part of ur typing style or if its uncomfortable to fully type out swear words, accessibility for disabled people should always, always, ALWAYS come first before ur typing style
I've responded to something similar in the past, but I know there are a lot of new folks that have followed recently and things tend to get buried on the blog, so it's worth reiterating.
I do agree that there are a lot of issues with subtitling and transcriptions in media, especially in the past few years, and I'm glad we're seeing more conversations about it, particularly after this disaster started circulating:
Ugh.
But this ask is about my blog and not about film industry stupidity, so let's focus on that.
As I've repeatedly said, I don't leave things out or "censor" things because I think people are too innocent to see a curse word online (because let's be honest, that's stupid). However, I do think it's a bit unfair to assume I have bad intentions, let alone ableist intentions, with my transcripts!
I started this blog mainly because I wanted to share clips with friends, and I didn't want to clog up my main, but the posts started getting more attention than I expected. Every once in a while I started adding quick transcripts here and there, and full transcripts on rare occasions. I started doing subtitled videos after translating a few clips for the KarmaIand community, and then I kept it up because it's fun and good video editing practice. For me, the determining factor for whether or not I do something is ultimately a matter of, "Do I have time?", and I usually don't! Today, I'm using that handful of minutes to respond to this instead of working on video stuff.
I took a quick glance through the blog and I'd say only 70% of posts have any kind of transcription (if I'm being generous), and even less have full transcriptions. This blog isn't meant to eat up my time; it's a side hobby I'm not getting paid for. I'm just sharing goofy clips because they make me smile, and I hope they can make other people smile too. This blog isn't a priority for me, and it's not an official / professional archive, nor do I want people to treat it as such!
As far as the "Nobody cares" part, I care!!! I rely on subtitles for everything I consume, and I'd genuinely love to be able to write full transcripts for every single video every single time and not "censor" things so I can help other people like me. But like I've said before, I can't, and that's a topic I'm not going to get into because it's nobody's business! ¯\(ツ)/¯ I hope you can respect this boundary. It's not a matter of me having a "typing style".
Ultimately, this is my take on the matter: if it's a choice between doing transcripts to the best of my abilities or just posting things with no transcripts or subtitles at all, I'm always going to choose the former.
Even though I'm sad and disappointed that some people are quick to assume the worst of me and my intentions solely because of what I put (or don't put) in the description of a goofy little MCYT video, I do appreciate your passion anon, because this is a big issue! Unfortunately, this is as much as I can help, but I'm of the belief that any effort made in good faith is better than no effort made at all.
For folks who want full transcripts that are very professional, I highly recommend checking out @mcyt-transcribed! They've got a great team, and they've even transcribed a few of my videos, which is nice! I've always appreciated what they do, and I think they deserve a lot more love and recognition.
I know this is a very long post and not what people signed up for when they followed this blog, but I like addressing this stuff because I feel like, in this community especially, people tend to have a habit of letting things fester. And that sucks! We're all just here to watch people make jokes and play block game, after all. I think open communication is key to resolving most issues, and even though people won't agree on everything, I hope they're able to walk away from the conversation without any hard / hurt feelings and with a better understanding of the other person.
#replies#anon#I'm genuinely so tired of seeing people fight in this community#I almost didn't start this blog because I was so sure I'd have to watch people picking fights with each other in the notes of my posts#and if I have to see that kind of twitter stupidity here I'm going to lose my mind#but everyone's been polite and funny so I'm inclined to keep on sharing clips#but full disclosure the moment it stops being fun#or the moment I start getting annoyed I'm outta here#miss me with those bad vibes#(also this is 100% not directed at you anon I'm just very sick of Twitter drama and cancel culture it's so dumb)#I'm just here for a laugh. that's it.#also I didn't realize you could add embeded links to asks now that's pretty cool#I could've phrased part of this as ''I'm not going to ignore my wellbeing for the sake of MCYT videos of all things''#but I also know this community has a habit of villainizing people for setting boundaries or saying no#:/#FAQ
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OK, just a little vent.
CW: mentions of domestic abuse/substance abuse
People gotta be fucking kinder.
And I've seen this post circulating about being kinder yourself and stop saying that 'people are bad' - and I agree, I so agree, I do believe that people are good, or neutral.
But kindness is a practice and it'd be so much easier to be kind if other people were kind.
Walking home I saw a woman crying on the street, sitting down in what looked like agony and there was one person who had been drawn to her and seemed kinda willing to help but mostly unhelpful so I stepped in asked if she needed/wanted help. It took a little time to get that her husband had just thrown her there and her back was too painful to get up.
Another guy walked by, called her by name and I thought she knew him. The three of us got her seating on some stairs, guy who knew her name went to 'get his phone' and never came back. She was real shaken up and what she said wasn't really cohesive but when she seemed to have gathered herself a bit she said she wanted to drink - I asked her if she wanted to take a minute to smoke a cigarette and see if she still wanted to get a drink after, if just a smoke could calm her down but she was adamant. Helpless guy who had stricken around was just like. No, alcohol bad - and that's true, and I don't know what the real perfect thing to do is here but I wasn't gonna make a decision for her just because I could so I took the money she gave me and went to buy her a beer. I got a little lost and helpless guy 'went to fetch me' (he never came back).
Time to calm down, to try and call one domestic abuse helpline that would fucking answer, but I didn't even know what to ask them. And when she told me she lived without her husband, I let that go.
We talked, she had a lot of trauma to dump, and it was hard, and I'm not a demon nor a saint, I wasn't gonna let her alone unable to fucking get up and crying and walk away but I was tired and growing a bit annoyed (and feeling guilty about being annoyed but I wanted to go home and rest) so I just. Sucked it up, and did what I deemed the good thing, I listened and when she reached out for my hand I took it and when she looked like she needed a hug I offered one and she clung onto me like no one has ever clung to me.
It was terrifying. She gripped and held and cried so hard and so long, she scratched bits of a sturdy leather jacket. She held me like she hadn't been held in a thousand years. I held her back as tightly as I could and it felt like there was no end to it, I felt like a failing lifeline and god that was so scary.
And I had asked before, by the way. If she had anyone she could call. She said the was no one - family sides with husband or doesn't care, no friends who'd come.
And when she finally ran out of tears she said I was the first. The first person to ever help her. The first woman, and I didn't correct her because this wasn't about me though it felt awful, and she felt so strongly about this, about me. She said we were sisters now, that she'd always wanted a sister and I saw her smile for the first time and should I have let her down then? Told her that actually I'm just a kind stranger I don't really care about her any more than I care about anyone. She's not my friend, and I don't love her, and it's not mean but it would have made her break apart and I knew it.
We talked more. And at some point she was laughing a lot, and never letting go of my hand and holding onto me still.
I spent three hours with her. And you know I'd be fine with that - I'd be fine with spending three hours wildly uncomfortable to help a stranger in need if this was that - if kindness wasn't so rare for some people they confuse it for love. She said we'd learn to cook together. She said my problems would be her problems now. That we'd be together forever through thick and thin.
I lied to her about work to get out of the interaction (when I saw she was okay enough to get up and let me walk her home).
And what the hell do I do with her. How do I break her heart to stop feeling so bad about it. I don't want to be her sibling, least of all her sister, and I do resent all the people who made her so lonely she grabbed my neck hard enough to ache.
Holding her made me sorer than dance class had.
I'm just. Trying to point where I did wrong. Because I don't think I'm a bad person but I feel like one.
And I want to be so rude. I want to push her away and tell her it's too tight, I want to tell her that I already have my people and that I don't need her here for me, I want to tell her than when she says she'll keep me safe she's the one scaring me, I want to be brutally honest but I don't want to destroy the joy I saw on her face, the disbelieving tenderness, the eagerness to love, the hunger for a human with her, I'd never say those things of course -
I'm sorry I can't save you feels so cold. So conceited too.
I'm sorry I don't want to love you sounds mean. But it's true.
And I'm sorry. And I hate to make this about me, about what I want but I gotta love my life I don't have any other.
If anyone read this to the end - well, thanks for taking my second-hand venting. And if there are any words of kindness you could afford to spare for me, I'd be grateful (and this won't bound us together I promise, stranger to stranger, a kind interaction can stand on its own).
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Digital footprint sucks but when I was younger I used to frequently delete my existence off the internet because I thought the things I posted were bad and cringe but now that I'm over the phase it's like I've lost chunks of my history that I can never get back. I can't chart my growth and look back in nostalgia because there's nothing to find. My lecturer used to tell me not to delete my works that I cringed at because one day I'd find them important and I arrogantly thought he was wrong. Self-hatred used to govern my actions, you see.
Now I obsessively journal about things that happen in my life, things that I notice about my loved ones and never permanently delete anything again (thank goodness for archives). If something doesn't work for me anymore, I just leave it. I realise that even though I don't like the thing anymore, there are people who do, and some of them may even find my works helpful. It still surprises me when I see my old stuff circulating on the internet when I've long abandoned them. It makes me wonder whether all that self-loathing was really worth my energy and time.
I was so bitter towards myself. I hope I won't become that kind of person again. Life is already hard enough, so why should I make it even harder for me? I want to stop suffering at my own hand. I want to be okay.
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3, 23 and 31 for the ask game! :3
3 do you leave the window open at night?
I don't! I live in the country of 'oh my god how did this many spiders, ants and mosquitoes fit through my window!' even if you have flyscreens on every window (which I do, and everyone else I know does. I was shocked when it wasn't the same in the UK, and then realised they just don't have to worry about like... bugs in quite the same way as you do in Australia - like I know they have them, but it's not like venomous spiders and ants are likely to pour in).
I'm also not living in a super safe suburb. Even with window locks, I'm not confident we'd stay safe with the windows left on lock. What I'll do instead if the house needs some fresh air is open the front and back doors. Both of those have security grills and flyscreen, which is safer from people, but we still get in a surprising amount of like, creepy crawlies through those doors, lol.
I would love to have my window open more often, it's just not worth the risk here, which is why I have a fan in my room for air circulation! We also have air HEPA filters in the house in general (chronic illness + Covid times).
23 how do you feel about chilly weather?
I LOVE IT SO MUCH
I would rather just be cold actually. Even right now when it's the beginning of winter and it's been raining all day, I'm wearing a t-shirt so I can feel a little colder than strictly comfortable, because it's so nice and rare to be actually physically cold.
(I'm sure in the dead of winter I'll be back to rugging up but right now I'm still trying to chase all memories of '9 months of summer' away.)
That being said, we don't really get hardcore winters here. There's no snow, there's no ice on the roads etc. Some mornings we might get frosts and that's the sum total of how chilly it gets.
But tbh when we were in England and it was much colder I still liked being cold.
31 what type of music keeps you grounded?
*thinks* I don't know that there is a genre of music that really does this? Which sounds weird given how much of it I listen to! And I'm like 'surely there's music that keeps me grounded.'
I'm sure there is, but I don't think I listen to music to stay grounded? The main reasons I listen to music are like, to help facilitate actions, like writing, or exercise, or cleaning, or simply as background music while I do stuff. I can't recall like... thinking of a time when I needed to calm the fuck down, so I put a specific kind of music on. I suppose maybe I'd just put on a favourite general kind of playlist? (Like the WalkIt ones I have, which are generally just 'indie with a beat' across a spectrum of moods).
I do sometimes use music to help me fall asleep when things are particularly bad (i.e. when the noise generator isn't cutting it) and in that case I'll turn to certain Sufjan Stevens songs or Sarah McLachlan or Joe Hisaishi. Turning to music to help put me to sleep isn't the same as feeling grounded but I think that's probably the closest. It's not that the music is boring, just that it feels soft or soothing somehow.
But I don't know! I think it's made me realise that I don't often use music to feel grounded! Which is a cool thing to find out about myself.
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From this meme!
#asks and answers#memey goodness#personal#i love cold weather#generally speaking my desire is to move somewhere colder all year around#like just a general climate downshift#i have never known what it's like to get...tired of being cold#i sympathise so much with folks who get winter SAD#but i have summer SAD#for me... sunlight is a curse and warmth leads to disease and sickness and exhaustion#ultimately too much of anything is not a good thing#but i wish i was like 70/30 favouring winter#and not 80/20 favouring summer#perth is the best place in the world (literally) if you like sunshine and blue skies and heat
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