#I'm just really confused by these things I guess

[princessmaybank]

I Love You So Fucking Much

Pairings: Sweet!JJ x BestFriend!Fem!Reader

Warnings: MDNI, 18+, Fluff, Pussy Whipped!JJ, Surprise Kiss, Mention of Heavy Petting, Oral (Fem. receiving, short lived), p in v, no protection, cliffhanger, not really edited, etc.

Summary: The guys have been teasing JJ about his crush all day.

Authors Note: My first fic in a while! It's a little short, let me know if you want a part 2! I hope you like it!

JJ's POV:

Pope and John B apparently woke up and chose to torture me today. All day we've been with the girls and they wouldn't stop crackin' jokes. Basically I like my best friend and the guys pressured me into telling them that information a few days ago. I haven't seen her since before I told them, and I guess the guys just got really excited and wanna be dicks. Can't say I wouldn't do the same to one of them.

We were hangin' out in front of the fire at the chateau. I was in a fold up chair in between Pope and Sarah. John B was obviously directly next to Sarah and Kie and Y/N were on the other side of the fire. I couldn't stop staring at Y/N. She is gorgeous, her eyes lit up in front of the fire. "Got a lil drool there." Pope teases and reaches for my face, causing me to back up and slap his hand. Everyone noticed me slap him and was staring. "Why'd you hit Pope?" Sarah asked.

"Because it's funny." Is the best I could come up with. Everyone went back to their conversations but I saw John B whispering to Sarah out of the corner of my eye. Next thing I know Sarah turned to me and gasped, of course he fuckin' told the blabbermouth. I glare at her and whisper 'don't' , hopefully she listens.

Pope noticed the events and giggled to himself. "I don't see why you're so scared." Once again I was the center of attention. Kie finally pipes up. "JJ Maybank is scared of something? Never." Everyone giggled, exchanging nods.

Even though the topic changed many times I was still the focus of the night. The guys, and now Sarah, have still been teasing the whole time.

"I'm gonna go grab another beer, anyone want one?" Y/N asked the group as she stood up. Everyone gave her a nod or a 'yes'. "Wasn't expecting everyone, can someone help me?" She smiled with that small laugh that makes her cheeks go pink. She looked so perfect, the fire made her eyes twinkle.

"JJ would love to help you Y/N." Pope said before anyone could offer. "Yeah JJ go help our dear friend Y/N." John B said with a smug look on his face. Y/N shook off JB's weird look as I got up and followed behind her.

She was bent over in the fridge handing beers to me, not looking back. My teeth involuntarily bit my bottom lip as I stared at her ass. She was wearing shorts but she might as well be naked with the way I'm gawking at her.

I didn't notice she had stood up and turned around until a hand waved in front of my face. "Hey there, anybody home?" She giggles. Fuck that laugh was gorgeous. "oh uhm yeah sorry-" I apologized. She giggled again. "What were you so fixated on?" "Uhm- nothing..it's not really important.." I said while grabbing the beers and heading to the door. She shrugged it off as we just went outside.

When we made it back, apparently Kie played musical chairs because she was in my seat now. Leaving the two across from everyone open. We passed out the beers and I begged Kie to give me my seat back but she only smirked at me and waved me off. So everyone knows now, fuckin' great.

"Just come sit with me Jay- I don't bite." She smiled, patting the chair next to her. "What if he wants you to..." Pope muttered almost too loud. "What?" She asked, looking confused. I shook my head telling her not to worry about it and I took my seat next to her.

Everyone on the other side of the fire is having a conversation- well Pope and Kie are, Sarah and JB are sucking each other's faces off. Y/N and I just kinda sat in uncomfortable silence for a little bit before she spoke up. "Why have the guys been teasing you all day?" I was not prepared for this question so the truth just kinda came out. "Oh- uh they found out I uh like this girl and now they won't leave me alone about it." I said not looking into her eyes. "Awe I wanna know!" She said, full of excitement. I shook my head 'no' very vigorously, not uttering a word. Everyone was looking at us again. "Oh please! I love love! I won't tell her Jayj!" She smiled and grabbed my hand for reassurance but I couldn't focus. "Yeah, c'mon Jayj! She won't tell her!" John B chimed in teasingly. My cheeks were heating up as everyone, including her, looked at me. Her hand was still on mine.

"I need to take a leak." I sprung up out of my seat and announced to the others. Everyone just shrugged as I walked towards the house. I headed to the bathroom and actually did have to piss when I got there, so I guess it wasn't a full blown lie.

When I was done I washed up and calmed down. I stared in the mirror at my bright red cheeks. How did she have this effect on me?

When my emotions were finally under control I went to walk out of the bathroom, but I was met face to face with the goddess herself. "Are you okay Jayj? You've been gone a little while." She sounded so concerned and the way she calls me that nickname makes me wanna bust in my pants right here and now.

"Uhm yeah, just a little overheated from the fire." I shrug trying not to let her fluster me. She crossed her arms like she didn't believe a word I said. "You're acting really weird tonight Jayj...did I do something wrong?" The look on her face made me upset, she looked sad. "Of course not.." I rush to say. "I told you the guys have been messing with me about my crush all day, it's upsetting me.." That also wasn't a full blown lie. I was upset over the things they were saying, but only because they were saying everything in front of said crush.

"Wanna talk about it?" She whispered softly, her eyes begged. I just nodded before motioning to the guest bedroom so I could talk about it with her privately. I sat down on the bed and when she got in the room, she shut and locked the door. I was instantly hard but I knew that's not where this was going. Y/N found her spot next to me and faced her body towards me. I stayed on the edge of the bed, not looking at her but I really really wanted to.

I felt a hand creep onto my thigh. "It's okay if you don't wan-" I cut her off by turning and kissing her. Surprisingly she kissed me back. I'm not sure where this confidence came from, but I'm running with it. Neither of us stopped this kiss until she needed some air. When our lips parted, her face was laced with shock.

"I-I'm sorry- I shouldn't ha-" I started tripping over my words before she cut me off. "I liked it." She said, still filled with shock, which made me happy inside but I wasn't sure where to go from here.

We sat in silence for about a minute before she straddled me and took my lips with hers again. She laid me down, deepening the kiss as she very carefully and slowly rocked her hips on mine. She was so scared to move her hips that I almost didn't feel it against me. I moved mine more harshly against hers to show her it was okay.

After about 30 seconds of heavy petting, I was tearing her clothes off. We had switched positions now and she looked perfect. I was standing in front of her only in my shorts and boxers while she laid there naked. I couldn't help my eyes from wandering all over her body, which unfortunately made her freeze and hide her body. I moved her arms away trying to slowly soothe her. "You're gorgeous.." I smile at her. Before she could say anything I massaged her perfect tits and then got on my knees in front of her.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked. She gave a shy smile before eagerly nodding to me. "I wanna hear a 'yes', Y/N." It came out more stern than intended. "Ye-yes Jayj.." She stuttered. She fucking stuttered. Knowing that I'm the man getting her flustered and ready, is fueling my confidence. I just want to please her in this moment.

Her eyes followed my motions as I peppered kisses on the insides of her thighs. I couldn't stop staring into her beautiful, sparkling eyes. They had a hold on me and wouldn't let go. As I got closer to her heat, she made it quite clear that that is where she needed me most. I lightly placed kisses up and down, reaching from her dripping wet hole to her swollen clit. A moan escaped her lips as she stared into my eyes. I couldn't keep teasing I needed her now. I gave her a few good minutes of sucking and licking while reaching to fondle her tits. I would have continued but I heard a soft voice say-

"JJ please fuck me..."

That's all I needed to hear. I pulled my shorts and boxers down and gave myself a few slow strokes. Her eyes landed on my dick and went wide. Her jaw dropped and she kept staring. "It will fit." I chuckled knowing that's what she was worried about.

My hands reached for her cheeks to pull her closer into a soft, passionate kiss. I climbed on top of her, never breaking our kiss and lined myself up with her entrance. Y/N wrapped her arms around my neck as I pushed myself into her slowly which resulted in her pulling her mouth away from mine to let out a moan. I smirked and pulled her lips back to mine as I began to thrust inside her at an easy pace.

"Fuck Jay, you feel so good..." She said under her breath. I watched as her eyes and head rolled back with her pretty little mouth wide open, making the most beautiful sounds. "Keep your eyes on me pretty girl." I said pulling her gaze back to me by her chin with my first finger.

"D-don't call me that.. I'll cum" She said with a light laugh causing me to giggle a little. I hid my face in the nape of her neck because I felt embarrassed and also flustered. The way we were able to laugh and not feel pressured felt amazing. This felt natural. I started giving her neck small kisses before I found her sweet spot, I sucked on it until it was a deep red and purple. The moans I was responsible for slipping from her mouth were music to my ears.

When my eyes met hers again, I swear they were telling me that she felt the same way I did. That little sparkle from before seemed to only grow brighter. This is the most intimate I've ever been in my life, and I'm happy it's with her.

"I'm almost there Jayj..." She whined into my ear. My hips sped up and I pushed her knees to her chest so I'm able to pound deeper into her. "Fuck please don't stop, please." Her eyes were pleading with me. "I don't plan on it baby..." I rolled my eyes to the back of my head, half due to pleasure, the other half because I can't believe I just called her baby. But she smiled. She actually smiled.

I held myself back from kissing her anymore. I don't know if she liked me back or if this was a one time thing. I'm already beating myself up for doing this before taking her out first. But like I said before...it felt right, natural even.

My thrusts started getting faster and sloppier. The orgasm creeping up on me took all control of my body. Her legs fell to my sides as my hands held her waist and I pulled her close. Our eyes danced between each other's lips and gaze before we sealed the deal. My hips didn't stop their motions, and I knew she was about to bust by the way her sounds were getting muffled by our kiss. I nodded letting her know I was ready as well.

Next thing I knew, she pulled her lips away from mine to moan my name, then I felt her cum leaking out onto my dick. She was so beautifully undone beneath me. When it was my turn to release, I was a moaning mess. My load shot into her, the sounds we were making tangled together to make the most amazing music I've ever heard.

My head found its way to her ear as my arms wrapped around her torso. As I rode out our highs, I made one of the biggest mistakes you could make when having 'casual' sex. I didn't realize it until I pulled my head back and saw her eyes.

I can't believe I said it..

"I love you so fucking much..."

#outer banks #jj maybank #rudy pankow smut #rudy pankow x reader #obx fic #obx x reader #outer banks smut #jj maybank smut #jj maybank imagine #smut prompts

[hollowed-theory-hall]

"gave Snape a stable job....despite being abusive to children (though he probably didn't perceive himself as such)"

I am a tad confused about this. How could Severus not possibly understand that he was being abusive to the kids under his care- especially Harry? Did he feel threatened by the children under his care to the point of viewing them as equals and thus justifying his behaviour to himself (why didn't the other teachers call him out on his shit)

Anonymous: am curious. You mentioned Snape likely doesn't realise that he is abusing the children under his care and mimicking his father. Does he actually feel powerless enough to justify his behaviours to himself? When he sees James in Harry and blames Neville does he see the boys as his equals/ someone above him in power that needs to be put down- thus allowing himself to continue acting the way he does? It's ironic all things considered. For all that Harry looks like James, he takes more after Lily.

Okay, so, I just wrote a post about Snape, but I'll cover here what I'm thinking about this specifically in more detail.

I'm not sure where the quote you mentioned is from, but I can say what I think about the way Snape treats Harry and his students and how he sees it.

So, Severus was abused by his father. From his behavior, what I guess is that a lot of his treatment of his students is him mimicking what he saw from his father.

Like, Severus became a professor at 21. It means his older students knew him as a student. Not to mention he was a terrorist, known Death Eater, who was saved by Dumbledore from being sent to Azkaban. And his students knew this.

So Severus felt like he needed a way to make sure his students would take him seriously. The main example he decided to draw from — his father, Tobias.

We don't know what exactly Tobias Snape did, he was a poor, working-class man who abused his wife and son. And I think when Tobias wanted to be taken seriously, he used fear, insults, and force. So this is what Severus knows.

Severus sees what he does as the only way students would treat him seriously, he doesn't really see it as abuse, as I believe he doesn't really see his father's mistreatment of him as abuse.

Severus always struck me as a character who doesn't want to get better.

I think Severus is one of the abused kids who rationalized his own abuse as something he deserved. He clearly wants to beat himself up about his mistakes. He wants to feel the guilt over pushing Lily away and then over killing her (in his mind). So, to him, in his mind, it's not abuse, it's what they deserve.

Is it good that's what he thinks? No, not at all, it actually sucks. Snape needed therapy.

Now, with Harry specifically, his treatment is different. With Harry, he really does see him as an equal and he needs Harry to treat him seriously. Like, Snape projects James on Harry way more than Sirius does. And Snape can't show anything resembling weakness to Mini-James Potter, so he goes back to his father's methods to be taken seriously. It's about Harry not seeing him as weak like James did.

And revenge, a little bit. Snape is very petty.

He still doesn't see his vengeance as abuse, because, as much as Severus wants to believe he's the one in power, he's scared of Harry more than he's willing to confess. He doesn't see a power imbalance between him and Harry, he doesn't actually see himself in a position of power, because he sees James in Harry. Harry doesn't treat Severus with the respect usually given to professors, which strengthens the way Severus doesn't really see him as a student.

Like, the fact Severus felt the need to remove memories he didn't want Harry to see when teaching him Occlumancy shows how much he fears Harry. Fears the possibility of Harry getting this information and using it against him.

Harry sat there staring at Snape as the lesson began, picturing horrific things happening to him. . . . If only he knew how to do the Cruciatus Curse . . . he’d have Snape flat on his back like that spider, jerking and twitching. . . . “Antidotes!” said Snape, looking around at them all, his cold black eyes glittering unpleasantly. “You should all have prepared your recipes now. I want you to brew them carefully, and then, we will be selecting someone on whom to test one. . . .” Snape’s eyes met Harry’s, and Harry knew what was coming. Snape was going to poison him. Harry imagined picking up his cauldron, and sprinting to the front of the class, and bringing it down on Snape’s greasy head —

(GoF, 300-301)

In the above quote, Harry has these thoughts while Snape is reading his mind — there's eye contact. So Severus sees these thoughts from Harry and doesn't separate this from James, he sees it and thinks that Harry very much might actually spill his entire cauldron on him — like James might've done. So, Severus is taking every instance like this to justify his fear of Harry and his need to keep him down.

With Neville it's different. He doesn't fear Neville the way he fears Harry, I think he does see Neville as someone weaker. In the case of Neville, Severus is, I think, doing what a lot of bullies do, picking on a weaker link to feel better about himself. More in control, more capable. Neville being next to Harry is kinda part of it, I don't think Snape would've been as harsh with Neville if he wasn't near Harry, who makes Snape kinda lose it and feel unbalanced and insecure in his position because he sees him as James more than as Harry.

And I agree with you second Anon, personality-wise, I think Harry isn't very similar to James at all. And he definitely has some of Lily's traits in him, but he's not her either, he's his own person. Something Snape willfully chooses not to see. It's easier for him not to see it, so he chooses not to, so he can keep up with his petty vengeance towards a dead man.

As for why other teachers didn't call him out, well, I think the Wizarding World has a very different approach to child care than the modern western world does.

We know corporal punishment was allowed at Hogwarts and the Wizarding World at large. One of the good things Dumbledore did as a headmaster was stop the use of it at the castle, but it was socially acceptable in the WW even in the 1990s. Actually, even in the muggle UK in the 1990s caning was still allowed in private schools, and Harry is clearly aware of this fact:

“Excuse me, Professor Flitwick, could I borrow Wood for a moment?” Wood? thought Harry, bewildered; was Wood a cane she was going to use on him? But Wood turned out to be a person, a burly fifth-year boy who came out of Flitwick’s class looking confused.

(PS, 109)

Because this is something that was still practiced in the UK. Harry actually had to lie to Aunt Marge that he was getting canned at St. Brutus school since that's something that happened there.

And it also happened in the Wizarding World until very recently, Molly says Arthur still has marks from what was most likely a caning when he was at Hogwarts:

Mrs. Weasley grinned, her eyes twinkling. “Your father and I had been for a nighttime stroll,” she said. “He got caught by Apollyon Pringle — he was the caretaker in those days — your father’s still got the marks.”

(GoF, 616)

Umbridge (and the Carrows) later returns corporeal punishment to Hogwarts, and it's quite clear there is no law against it in the WW:

“Approval for Whipping . . . Approval for Whipping . . . I can do it at last. . . . They’ve had it coming to them for years. . . .” He [Filch] pulled out a piece of parchment, kissed it, then shuffled rapidly back out of the door, clutching it to his chest.

(OotP, 673)

Molly actually beat Fred with a broom (or at least attempted to) and it's considered fine and legal and not abuse:

“Seen the Fizzing Whizbees, Harry?” said Ron, grabbing him and leading him over to their barrel. “And the Jelly Slugs? And the Acid Pops? Fred gave me one of those when I was seven — it burnt a hole right through my tongue. I remember Mum walloping him with her broomstick.” Ron stared broodingly into the Acid Pop box.

(PoA, 200)

Because the Wizarding World (and the UK) in the 1990s had a very different view on abuse and domestic violence. So, yeah, I don't think Severus considered what he did abuse, he considered it harsh discipline, like he himself received as a child. The way everyone ignores Harry's (and Snape's as a child) very clear signs of being abused is also telling. A rough hand and insults with disobedient children is just considered what you do, and not horrifyingly gross behavior like we see it today.

And the other teachers don't step in, because they consider it just as legal and acceptable as Snape. Because it is in the Wizarding World.

#harry potter #hp #harry potter thoughts #hp thoughts #asks #anonymous #anon asks #severus snape

[thought--bubble]

Taking a little breaky break

This is just a heads up for my small little group of people on here. I have come to call my friends. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm going to be taking a much needed respite from tumblr and probably discord, too. I am feeling lost, sad,overwhelmed, and confused.

I know it sounds silly or whatnot, but all of this stuff is overwhelming and depressing, and I feel sick when I open this app at this point.

The best word to use, I guess, would be winded, maybe?

I joined Tumblr in Sept 23, and at first, it was really fun, a much needed escape from my daily never-ending list of crap to do.

I unfortunately learned how crazy this fandom can get early on and the hard way. I had hoped that that was just a one-off due to my newbie ignorance and took it as a lesson learned for myself.

But it's starting to feel like the drama never fucking stops. It just keeps going, and nice people, kind people, just get dragged and ridiculed for seemingly no reason. I will pathetically admit that I am a sensitive soul, and the things I've read and seen have seriously negatively affected me.

When people are catty regarding people they don't like or that don't like them, I can usually reconcile that to a particular degree. People are, in fact, people. Not everyone is going to vibe with everyone, and people will make jokes at others' expense, and it isn't exactly mature, but it happens.

That is what I expected when I heard this was coming. Some catty shit slinging between people who don't like each other.

But that isn't all this was, and I'm having a really hard time with that. I even thought, "Oh maybe some moderately rude jokes here and there where you know cultural differences and stuff could account for that" like I'm from the northeast and we can be harsh out here. So something that may be offensive to someone from another area may be looked at here just as a joke made in poor taste.

I know I myself have made jokes or whatnot, but you would think certain things would be off limits.

I thought I could combat the negative with positives. Silly jokes, little messages filled with love, but even that isn't working at this point.

My heart hurts, and my brain hurts.

And all this stuff has made me question myself. I had a block list a mile long for the longest time. Filled predominantly with people I had never spoken to because I was scared, nervous, I didn't want to accidentally interact with a post of someone who would be upset that I did, I unfollowed blogs I liked based on this same principle. I just desperately did not want to make someone mad or uncomfortable and find myself back in some weird mean anon tornado.

I tried to sus out who would be bothered by my presence and who wouldn't. I can't even know if my thoughts on who may or may not be upset by me were based on my paranoia or a perception i developed or was potentially affected by outside sources.

Now, i just don't know what the hell is going on.

Sorry for the word vomit. Just wanted to be honest. There are some of us out here who are just standing around with question marks over our heads.

Maybe it's because I wasn't here for a lot of that other weirdness. Maybe it's because of early events that shaped my experience on this app, but I for sure 100% need a break.

I'm an odd duck and love this app mostly because it's the only site I've seen where others actively fan-girl over my favorite Ewan character.

But right now, not even my love for Will can keep me on this app, and for those who know me, that's truly saying something.

This post is not meant to badmouth anyone at all. Honestly at this point I couldn't bad mouth anyone because I'm fucking lost on who anyone really is or how they really feel about things, dude I'm just plain lost.

Thank you to those who have been kind. My apologies to those I may have judged or assumed things about based on who the hell knows.

I hope that when I come back, I can open this app without yet another person that I like having a post of them being torn apart. Or a post of a story that I had heard being told in a completely different way and throwing me for a complete loop.

For now I am going to watch Will edits on TikTok and maybe read via Ao3.

Love and healing vibes to all.

#To my lovelies #I'll be back #I'm just not sure when #hotd fandom

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Ok I got more :P

9. “So what in the hell are we? I’m not doing this unless we’re on the same page.” 21. “I don’t know, I guess I’m kind of in love?” 15. “You’re astoundingly unhealthy for me, but do I care? No, because I wouldn’t have fallen if I cared, especially when I’m someone who’s usually so careful with whom I give my heart to.” 34. “I want to make this work, because I don’t— I don’t want to— I can’t lose you.”

My thoughts/ideas: Kind of simple and less angsty, at some point while chilling together, maybe during a movie night, Adam asks what they are/what their relationship is. Lucifer is confused (he thinks it's obvious they're dating) and his lack of answer makes Adam's ✨ abandonment issues ✨ kick in, so he asks again (9). Luci admits he's in love, and Adam calms down a bit. They have a heart-to-heart about how unhealthy their relationship is, but they both desperately want it to work.

Excited to see what you write <33

Indigo (fucking loved that last one)

I'm glad you're enjoying my writing! Thank you for the prompts they fuel my obsession 😈

Adam and Lucifer were currently curled up on the couch together, a horror movie playing on the old tv. It was one they have seen before, but now that they were alone they could actually focus on it without commentary from the fucking peanut gallery.

A thought wiggled it's way into Adam's mind, he looked to Lucifer. They had been doing this relationship for a while now, they spent a lot of time together and slept together. But they never said out loud what they really were. "Hey Luci?"

"Hmm?" Lucifer tore his eyes away from the movie to look at Adam.

"What are we?"

Lucifer was a little confused. "Demons?"

Adam frowned. "No shit. I mean, what are WE as in this." He gestured between them.

Lucifer didn't understand what Adam meant. They were dating wasn't that clear? You don't just cuddle someone on the couch to a horror movie because you only like bending them over.

While Lucifer thought this over, Adams mind started to race as he got no answer. Were they not really dating? Was he just being used? Would Lucifer just drop him when he's had his fun? What if it was like that damn garden all over again!? Adam scowled. "So what in the hell are we, Lucifer? Cause I'm not doing this unless we're on the same fucking page."

"I don't know, I guess I'm kind of in love?"

Adam gawked at him. "You guess?"

Okay, maybe guessing at feelings wasn't a good idea. "We haven't been dating that long, but I know how I feel. You are astoundingly unhealthy for me, but do I care? No, because I wouldn't have fallen if I cared. Especially since I'm someone who is normally so careful with whom I give my heart to."

Adam slumped. "We are pretty toxic aren't we?"

Lucifer hummed. "We can be. There are moments where this is a beautiful relationship. Those are the things that make this worth it to me." He took Adam's face on his hands. "I want to make this work. I don't....I don't want to.... I can't lose you. Not again."

"I don't want to lose you either." Adam admits.

"You're my boyfriend and I love you. We may fight like cats and dogs sometimes, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

Adam snorted. "You sappy toxic old man."

"You're old too."

"Fuck you, I'm not that old!"

"Ten thousand years is pretty old, babe."

Adam rolled his eyes. "Asshole. I love you, you dick."

"Love you too, Adam. You're a prick too." Lucifer closes the gap between them, pressing their lips together.

Yup, totally healthy.

#adamsapple #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer x adam #ask

[graveyard-cuddles]

Not hating but I really don't understand why some need NEED Astarion's original "corrupt magistrate" backstory to be canon so badly. I keep seeing posts trying to argue it's still canon based on interviews from all the way back in 2020 when the game was still in early access and the art book and it's like...okay but none of that is actually in the game. There are TONS of things in the official art book that never made it into the game. Lots of things about the game and story changed from 2020 - final release. Astarion's "corrupt" backstory isn't even alluded to in EA so technically it's not even cut content. It just was never in the game. You can headcanon whatever you want, obviously. But if Astarion was doing something as over-the-top evil as knowingly trafficking people to Cazador Larian would have made that revelation clear in the story. But Larian clearly cut that content with purpose.

If I had to hazard to guess I would say Astarion's original EA backstory involving trafficking victims directly to Cazador was probably changed and reworked into Astarion being compelled to kidnap the Gur children for Cazador. Which brings me to Astarion's evilness. I see some people complain that the changes made to Astarion's backstory ruined the only evil male companion by "toning down" his evilness. And while I can see why they would find his original backstory compelling for that reason, I'm a bit confused as to why these people don't consider current Astarion to be an evil companion. I absolutely love and adore him to pieces, but Astarion in the current game can still be plenty evil. Even before he learns about the ritual he approves of tons of evil actions and actively wants to control the cult of the Absolute to take over the world lol.

He may have been compelled to take the Gur children against his will but his reaction when you confront him about it is super telling: he immediately goes into self-defensive mode and his first instict is to throw them under the bus and sacrifice them to ascend. And unless you pass the speech check to talk him out of it, he WILL DO IT. Astarion still gets plenty of chances to be the evil male companion you want him to be in the current version of the game.

If anything it's more shocking to see him be so dismissive and callous towards the Gur children as the Astarion we've come to know and love rather than some abstract past version of Astarion that we've never known and that he barely remembers himself. But seeing him actually contemplate sacrificing all those people rather than just being told he sent some innocent people to their deaths 200 years ago is chilling, especially playing through the game first time and not knowing if you'll be able to persuade him out of it or not. I love that we CAN talk him out of it. And to me, that does show he's not pure evil or irredeemable. But the potential for evil is absolutely there.

#bg3 #astarion #astarion meta

[laikabu]

I think what fundamentally tips me off abt the shuro discourses is that there's this common sentiment of "marcille should get pissed and chew shuro out for "chasing" falin/being mean to laios, give shuro what he deserves" which is just hilariously transparent on how self-righteous and projecting the ppl saying these things are bc it is so clearly not actually abt what falin and laios want. Yknow, a big theme in dunmeshi! I'd forgive ppl for not knowing abt the extra, but falin outright says she needs to make decisions and take stands for HERSELF and she amicably turns shuro's proposal down, which he accepts. She's not being preyed on or being taken advantage of and so she doesn't need some defense against what is very much an imaginary offense to make shuro look bad. And laios does the same! Laios beats shuro up and they come out with their grievances on the table and all honesty there, and they are explicitly on good terms by the end! The siblings clearly like him and see value in their relationships with him despite any conflict they had. That literally should be the end of it.

(Also, not a fan abt the way white fans want to write off the micro aggressions and "forgive" laios for something they have no room saying anything abt! Acting like it's impossible for him to be racist when there's a bonus comic of him (and falin) outright talking abt "savage" people on his hometown's mountains that were "barbarians" they killed onsight! Given this manga's emphasis on cultural disconnect you'd think we'd be smarter abt this!)

exactly LOL throughout the whole manga the touden siblings treated shuro with kindness and respect even after the big fight, so i'm really confused about the hostility towards him?💀

i noticed that in the anime, kabru doesn't actually give his name out at all, and all instances of laios saying kabru's name correctly were scrubbed, so i'm curious if this has anything to do with changing the "kapru" joke somehow since they did consult kui in changing small scenes. i guess we'll find out tomorrow.

#ask

[cozylittleartblog]

worst way to start my new year, thanks. i have a lot of things to say about these companies but i'm tired and just keeping it focused to the pin side of things for this one. do not ever buy pins from these companies, literally ALL of them are stolen from small artists like me. if you want to buy enamel pins, check out etsy, and artist's personal websites and shops! (though even Etsy has some bootleg pins that ship straight from china, so tread carefully…)

Every pin I've designed is, thus far, EXCLUSIVE to my etsy. if you find it anywhere else, it's been ripped off! and once these stupid bootlegs pop up, it's basically a never ending game of whack-a-mole trying to get them all taken down...

#psa #art theft #pin theft #aliexpress #shein #wish #temu #deltarune #the bootleg pin is just over an inch tall. do you know how BAD this design looks at that size?? i'd know. i tested it. #they didn't even use the black nickel of the pin for the black parts of the design. and the listing says copper for some reason. what. #some people never even get their designs taken down. its really sad #so i might just have to deal with bootleg queens out there forever :( i hope nobody confuses the ripoffs for the real thing.... #my pin is so much nicer! its almost two inches big and it has two posts on the back so it doesn't spin #because spinning pins are the bane of my existence #im out here working my ass off out of my bedroom in my parents place trying to make a living and here come these pricks #i watermarked all my listing photos exactly so they Couldn't steal my fucking pictures so at least there's that #my new years is just full of bad luck so far i hope this isn't a bad omen #if my registration isn't accepted by the aliexpress copyright department I'm SOL and this will just. stay up i guess #i'm sad #bootleggers kys

[canisalbus]

Different Italian anon, but the thing with Tuscan C is that it's pronounced like a very strong H sound, which is extra weird cuz the letter H makes no sound in Italian, normally. It sounds the way Spanish pronounce the J. We say it's "aspirato". So then people from there will say things like Hoha Hola (coca cola), and it's funny. It's also extremely contagious, I got family in Florence, you spend 3 days with them you start doing it too before you even realize.

.

#that sounds really endearing actually #answered #anonymous #this is entirely beside the point but I still feel sort of bamboozled by languages that have silent letters #or when letters have multiple pronunciations that vary wildly from word to word #and when the sound and the letter don't seem to match like how J sounds very close to H in Spanish like you mentioned #I'm generalizing a little but none of these are really a thing in Finnish #in Finnish words are pretty much always pronounced the way they are written if that makes sense #I don't know the language terminology but I think phonetic spelling is what you call it #each letter represents a specific sound and you string those together #when you hear a word you can always tell how it's written and when you read a word you know how to pronounce it #even if you're encountering the word for the first time and have no idea what it means #it's comparatively direct and predictable there's practically no need for guessing or memorizing #also the stress is always on the first syllabe and it's so subtle it might as well not be there at all #which sometimes makes spoken Finnish and Finnish accent sound kind of monotonous there isn't a lot of intonation #I was extremely confused by the concept of spelling bees as a kid #anyway long tag ramble but this stuff is just interesting to me

[uncanny-tranny]

You know... it's okay to trust your body. If you are separated from your body to such an extent you feel you cannot trust it, I truly from the bottom of my heart empathize and feel grief for you, but you can trust your body.

It's okay to listen to your body and to heed what it is telling you. I wish you (and your body) well wherever you go. You deserve the peace of mind to feel able to do what you want.

#positivity #mental health #mental health support #gentle reminders #this is something i struggle with myself so that's why i said i empathize (well... i guess as much as you CAN empathize) #(because even if you have gone through the same thing... it's not going to look the same as somebody else going through that) #(and while it can be valuable to express empathy it doesn't mean you truly 'get it' from the other person's point of view) #i struggle sometimes not to feel like my body is fucking with me because sometimes i expect it to function at bare minimum #or i just assume that when it is in debilitating pain that it's just... somehow to fuck with me and i am cognizant that this isn't true #i am cognitively aware that the body isn't Specifically Designed to have a Fuck With You mode even if it feels like it #but my experiences with disabilities and general unwellness made it easy for me to alienate myself from my body #in order to preserve myself i felt the need to separate myself from every flaw (or 'flaw') i have #so when people are confused about why you could mistrust your /own body/ it's stuff like this that can somewhat illustrate it #i think we don't really talk about this but i think it's more common than i would assume #(mostly based on the There Are Eight Billion People principle) #hm making this also makes me realize that abuse absolutely plays into how i mistrust my body. hm. #mistrust in your body feels like self-protection and self-preservation in this weird and almost twisted way (at least in my experience) #but then you start mistrusting *everything* and nothing feels... GOOD or NORMAL anymore #i'm going to play mahjong about this 🫡👍

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

#csi #gsr #i'm very Normal about them btw i don't think about them 50 times per day or anything #need to talk more about these two here #because im obsessed about them in a Normal way #sara is like. my dream wife. i totally get grissom being in love with her for years and barely holding it together #i would not though #i'm 1000% sure she's bi. but the writers have been cowards so far #also she and i dress THE SAME. yes i love 2000s clothes so what #i could talk about her forever she's everything to me #and grissom. oh grissom. i also get why she's been in love with him forever #i mean what the FUCK went down in san francisco did they hook up and sex was so good it scared them #and now they have to live with that tension and they're scared of crossing that line #nah i'm guessing with these two they just REALLY clicked. like. they were an instant match and they knew it #but grissom didnt want to lose focus on work or whatever and they lived in separate states you know #but oh my god i totally get sara. grissom is such a silver fox. he's like one of the hottest old men i've ever seen in my life #you know what i 100% get tumblr sexualizing old men it's completely valid i'm in this now too #he has this LOOK. whenever he's angry at a suspect. and he looks angrily at them. i'm chewing on my keyboard just remembering it #and his smirks #AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SARA #im losing my mind #i love all of gil grissom but seasons 4-5 jesus fucking christ #ok enough with the sexualizing i love him as a character SO MUCH. he's absolutely fantastic #one of the things i love the most about him is that he doesn't judge people. whenever the team is confused about someone #or this persons' lifestyle #he's always trying to understand them and not judge them #like a true scientist he wants to understand the nature of things and people #and he's such a sweetheart i love him so much #like there are so many things i love about him i can't fit them all in the tags. same for sara #they're a perfect match for me

[sysig]

Incomplete exchange (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #Max Vyer #DAX #*throws idea spaghetti throws idea spaghetti throws idea spaghetti throws #So Max and ZEX changing places - what if that but This lol #It would also be funny to watch Max stumble around in ZEX's body lol but considering ''how'' ZEX got isekai'd... #Not much left probably :| Dark #Really I'm just fascinated by throwing the almost-dynamics into relief hehehe - DAX and Dex so similar! And Max and ZEX similar in some ways #How would DAX react to Max :3c How would Max react to DAX! One of them knows the other - at least at arm's length - but not the other! #Seeing a VUX ''in person'' would probably be a whole other feeling as well haha - there's a familiarity when he's inhabiting ZEX's POV #Still thinks he's dreaming because I mean - would the reality be any easier to swallow? No lol #I guess this would be a scenario before ZEX dies since y'know - DAX is here haha - unless this is some afterlife something??? #Both Max and DAX /would/ be dead in that scenario - or would they?? Haha the grey area is the funnest to play in <3 #I think it'd be very interesting on DAX's end as well - obviously Max is very different from ZEX but if the language thing works both ways #VUX already have the translators of course but like - Max speaks very differently from ZEX he formulates his sentences very specifically #But if the way he attacks the words the way his accent moves the sounds around - if he speaks like ZEX but not /like/ him - s'interesting! #Would probably confuse the heck out of DAX haha he knows that voice very well! #By the transitive property would that make their accent space New Jersey? No that's too silly haha #I really love Max just dropping years and events out of the blue haha - very important! Written down! Kept track of! #A lot of things he doesn't pay much attention to but he's very careful with his dream data I'm love him <3 #I also had So much fun drawing his hands here hehe ♪ His hand expressions have quickly risen to being my favourite :D #ZEX doesn't express with his hands! Which means it's a Max-specific type of thing in his body! #Tells <3

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i've been thinking about how weird it is that sometimes your favorite pairings go exactly how you expect them to go and sometimes they just don't at all. specifically, in the context of crowley/aziraphale and ted/rebecca. i feel like in both cases, i was really paying attention to the details and nuances and seeming symbolism around the relationship for years. and in season two of good omens, the text itself seemed to absolutely completely vibe with everything we'd noticed as a fandom about season one, and make a logical progression from there that was really in line with what felt true about the pairing in s1. like, you could really tell the show was also extremely aware of all the small moments that the fandom had picked up on. whereas in season three of ted lasso, obviously, the show wound up just not seeming very interested at all in all the stuff i'd thought was an argument being made for why ted and rebecca belonged together. (in earlier seasons, but also even within season three!!! green matchbook what????) i pick out these two examples because, well, they just happened on my tv in front of my face recently, and because i think both had a lot of symbolism and a lot of underlying 'see, THIS is why they're meant to be together!' details. but the payoff could not have been more different!

it's just so weird how sometimes it goes exactly like you expected, like it's proven that you were in fact vibing exactly right with the text, and other times it's just like, "nope, mate, YOU'RE WRONG."

#another example of this where i think it really paid off was grace and frankie #i'm still not over the nick of the show having the exact same fate as the infinite nicks in fanfictions #idk it's just so odd how sometimes it happens and sometimes they're like NOPE! SUCKERRRRRRR! #i still maintain that they had to abandon a lot of subtext in a weird way with ted/rebecca #dollsome's deep thoughts #ted x rebecca #good omens spoilers #good omens #the weirdest thing to me about ted/rebecca still is that they just abandoned biscuits with the boss. #having no last acknowledgment of biscuits with the boss will forever be weird as hell to me #but i guess that also ties into how i thought BWTB was very significant in terms of them being an ideal romantic fit #and they weren't i guess! so!!!!!!! might as well throw it aside!!!!!!! #i'm still very confused about almost everything that happened in season three of television program ted lasso

[adozentothedawn]

Thoughts about Rogue Trader so far:

Well that sure was the fastest promotion I've ever gotten. xD I'm kinda sad about it, I was hoping for a mean space mom, but I'll take it.

I like the characters so far! Although Abelard does not appear as space dad either for now, but that's alright he's still cool. As are Indira and Argentum.

I am a bit confused by the gameplay and am uncertain how much of that is just Warhammer things I don't get or strange choices. I'm sure the "wounds" label probably comes from ttp so whatever, but the fact the whole characteristics and skills thing seems a bit unbalanced to me for now considering that Int controlls nearly half of all skills alone. But maybe I'll know better once I've gotten a better handle of it. It just seems unintuitive as a whole right now. I like the combat though! Might turn the difficulty a bit higher even, I'd like to get a bit more of a challenge I think. (That said, story mode does do what it's supposed to. It should be extremely easy, I just changed my mind on what I want) Still somewhat confusing like the hologram thing I think might not entirely work as intended but I'll get a handle on it.

Main criticism for now: This game is badly optimizied. Apparently that is a notorious Unity sin so I won't blame them too much, but I do hope they'll patch it soon, this game should not make my cooler run louder than BG3. Turning off v-synch and putting a lower fps cap has helped for now, but come on.

#warhammer 40k rogue trader #I am having fun i am just confused a bit #i'm not really used to that anymore since most rpgs I've played in a while worked at least somewhat similarly #like bg and pathfinder are not that far apart #even drachen alter is at least close enough to intuit a few things #i guess mass effect is a bit off but it's also honestly kinda simple #mass effect's main draw is not inherently complex mechanics #meanwhile with this game most of the time i'm just sitting here going ????? #it's an interesting challenge #somethings are cool some seem vaguely annoying #that said I'm not very far along yet so we'll see what I'll think once I'm better acquianted with everything

[lord-squiggletits]

Another funny thing about weird Decepticon stans trying to pretend that the Autobots were just as bad as them is that, in IDW1, the Autobots literally did not exist until Orion Pax stormed the Senate and delivered a speech claiming "Autobot" as a new label to mean "autonomous." Whereas all of the colonization during the Golden Age happened during Nova Prime's time a couple million years prior.

And during the war, the Decepticons were literally cyberforming planets they killed and had established something called the Interstellar Constellate at some point. And Megatron said in Chaos Theory that his plan for his Decepticon empire if/when he defeated the Autobots was to rebuild and cyberform planets to create a Decepticon empire where mechanical beings reign supreme.

Like, the BEST ARGUMENT you can make is that since Optimus is a Prime, he technically inherits the problematic nature of the Primacy's history of colonization, but I think that even that argument is pretty thin considering that Optimus was always pro-organic to the point of valuing their lives equally to Cybertronians, which is something that even a lot of Autobots fail to do. Compared to other members of his species, Optimus is literally a radical in terms of his stance that organic life = Cybertronian life, but go off I guess lmao.

You can even see that during the time of Sentinel's Senate, there was an engraving on the wall that said "freedom is the right of all civilized beings", showing that Optimus at some point took that phrase and changed it to underline the fact that freedom is a universal right for ALL beings.

Also, again for IDW1 specifically, a lot of anti-Optimus people clearly don't even know the timeline of events in that story. OP spent a good chunk of the story working against the Senate with things like

Storming the Senate on Megatron's behalf to deliver an angry speech against government corruption

Working with Senator Shockwave undercover to investigate Proteus being suspicious, uncovering a conspiracy to frame the Decepticons for a terrorist attack, and risking his team to prevent it

Going on the run and doing secret operations like saving hotspots from being attacked by Sentinel's forces

(For bonus points, he even saved Drift from dying either by drug overdose or being beaten to death by some thugs and called an emergency transport for him to Ratchet's clinic)

The regime change happens because Sentinel Prime is killed BY MEGATRON who at that point had already become a gladiator criminal underworld. By the time Orion is back in Iacon acting as Zeta's head of security/general/etc, Megatron is already well on the path of corruption and senseless violence doing things like arranging illegal weapon trafficking (shown in Optimus Prime) and forcing Rumble and Frenzy to get frame reformats to fit Megatron's tactical needs (Megatron Origin). Apparently Optimus doesn't deserve to have facts about his backstory and difficult contexts around his decisions be observed by this fandom though lmao.

If you take IDW1 out of context and go "OP worked for the regime!" then yeah of course it looks bad, and yes he did do that. But a lot of people also neglect to mention 1. the anti-government actions he DID take 2. the fact that by the time OP started fighting against Megatron, he had already become super evil and 3. because Megatron was super evil, Orion couldn't just desert Zeta's government and be like, "oh yeah I'll totally be able to talk Megatron out of doing terrorism and violence just on my own" especially since in this continuity they barely fuckin' knew each other before OP became a Prime. There's so much shit around OP being a cop and the ways he did or didn't succeed in trying to change the planet for the better, but none of that is addressed when people just go "oh he's a cop and the Autobots are colonizers" like ????? Stop it.

Stop taking this shit out of context and stop cherrypicking evidence to make one side look good and the other side look bad lmao.

#squiggposting #discourse #i regret to inform you all that i have been forced to witness this particular discourse again #like i'm sorry but in terms of idw1 specifically if you try to say that 'the autobots did colonialism too' you are straight up wrong #there is some weird shit in there though where autobot was coined by orion #but also for some reason sentinel's forces are called autobots???? it's really fuckin weird JRO why did you do that #but i ignore that part bc it makes no sense and it requires too much conjecture #i guess you could also try to claim that the regime used the autobot insignia therefore the autobots are the regime but like #i feel like that's basically the equivalent of the country's flag and a specific political party incorporating that flag into their own ban #the weird shit with the autobot name/insignia isn't the first contradictory or confusing lore JRO has written #so i feel at license to basically ignore that part #but anyways. the idw1 autobots didn't do colonialism and the decepticons did. sorry #that being said anyone who genuinely tries to pass moral judgment on decepticon stans just for liking decepticons #is an annoying ass anti and a bitch ass #i'm just begging ppl that just bc antis are annoying doesn't mean you should also be annoying #and you shouldn't devolve into cherrypicking canon or turning things black and white as well

[wereh0gz]

Am I the only one who gets really annoyed when ppl treat Sonic's alternate forms as separate characters

#ramblings #it mostly happens with the 'dark' forms like werehog or dark sonic #they're not separate from sonic! they're forms powered by his negative emotions! they're a part of him! #werehog isn't just a feral werewolf personality that takes over at night #and dark sonic isn't evil either #sidenote as to avoid any confusion i am NOT talking about system headcanons those are cool #i'm talking about them being treated as completely separate in fanworks that aren't exploring that headcanon specifically #like. its almost as if they don't want sonic himself to be. i guess associated with things that make him look 'evil' #even though those forms are not inherently evil and sonic himself doesn't mind being seen as a bad guy #it's a weird pet peeve of mine whenever i see stuff like that #ik i mentioned werehog but this is mostly about dark sonic. that's the one i've seen being treated like that the most #it's like completely misunderstanding the forms themselves #i was looking at fics and i saw something like this and it. annoyed me #it isn't really that big a deal it just annoys me personally

[iconac]

so i know i have this blog listed as canon-divergent, but i don't think i ever stated why. mostly because i think the majority of you all have it figured out, but over the course of writing revan on here i've had a few encounters where someone didn't really get what was going on with my blog in terms of canon. so, to prevent further confusion;

revan started out as a blank-slate customizable player character in the 2003 knights of the old republic rpg [which is just dnd with a star wars skin, complete with modifiers and skill checks], much like commander shepard in mass effect, where you can pretty much make them into whoever you want. the knights of the old republic comic run continued with this concept by giving revan only three appearances in the whole series and making their face/identity a complete mystery. then in 2011, a revan novel was released that 'canonized' revan's appearance, gender, personality, choices, etc. [douglas adams voice] this has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. this new 'canon' revan [a forty-year-old white guy that for some reason a bunch of people want to have keanu reeves cast as] then went on to appear in the star wars: the old republic mmo, further cementing this new 'canon' revan in the expanded universe. 'canon' revan is where the grey jedi/using the dark side and the light side at the same time comes into play, and it contributes greatly to his popularity in some circles of the star wars fandom. he also married bastila shan and had a kid [named... vaner... anagram of revan...] and his eventual descendants in swtor are satele and theron shan, two npcs that have major roles in the game. i write revan like they're still a customizable rpg protagonist. partially because i am old and i played the games back in the early 00's and my revan originates from that, partially because i think the revan novel [and revan in swtor by extension] is kinda shit. this is why i disregard almost all canon about revan that came out after kotor 2. if we get other revans in the rpc, you'll likely see similar decisions made and some considerable variation in depictions, especially along the axis of how much of the novel/swtor canon they want to include in their portrayals.

so what does this mean? i'm less canon-divergent and more non-canon, if you want to be technical about it. disregard 70% of wookiepedia's revan article. in general conversation, i refer to 'canon' revan as swtor revan.

#in kotor revan can be a black lesbian with a catgirl gf #this will go in my pages when i get the chance #this is also why if you do see other revans on here they'll be different #anyway im just writing this out bc ive had a few cases of people not really. getting that i'm not swtor revan #and doing things like assuming swtor revan things apply to my revan or repeatedly misgendering my revan bc swtor revan is a man. #not in a 'i didn't read your rules' way but in a 'i dont know the difference between kotor and swtor' way #which never offended me [bc i get why] but it was a source of confusion #↘ ]⠀canon.⠀:⠀born of the clatter of bone against blade. #pretty sure you guys all know this? but i know some people don't. and i don't want it to be vague and leave any of you guessing what im doi #this is also why i have that timeline on the carrd #bc i wanna lay all my shit out yanno #sorry for not laying this out before if you needed it!