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affectionatelyrs · 4 months

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2023 Writing Roundup

Thank you to @anincompletelist @happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @littlemisskittentoes @rockyroadkylers @songliili and @xthelastknownsurvivorx for the tags

*Taps mic* is this thing on? Yeah? Great. Allow me to be somewhat sappy for a moment then.

I started writing in August of this year. As in, I haven't written fic/majorly creatively ever before this, and it's something that I never thought I would do. Until I did. And my goodness... I'm so insanely grateful that I decided to start. Writing has given me so much purpose - It's something I genuinely adore; it makes me incredibly happy that I get to share my words with all of y'all, and the people I've met have been so incredibly lovely. So, without further ado, here's what I've written in 2023! :)

January through July

Nothing, I was just an avid reader

August

Far too Enamored to be Content Now | M | 2k | One Shot

"You've been rather quiet all evening, H," Alex muses, trailing one long finger up the expanse of Henry's neck, higher, higher, high, until it lingers over his bottom lip. Taps it with the pad a few times. "Why don't you use that pretty mouth of yours to tell me what you want then, hmm?" Alex is expecting Henry's lips to pucker, their typical automatic response to this action. What he is not expecting, however, is the way Henry's lips slightly part before taking his finger slowly into his mouth and sucking, never once breaking eye-contact. - Henry is bloody starving.

You Came Out of Nowhere (And You Cut through All the Noise) | E | 10.9k | One Shot (with a bonus chapter)

Alex starts to feel worse about how he reacted to the man earlier — he’s usually all bark and no bite, but how is the bartender supposed to know that? Alex can be snarky, but he’s never cruel. Allowing his lips to quirk up into a small smile, he replies “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you, really.” “Well,” he says with a smirk, “in the event that you are lying to me simply to placate our earlier interaction, my shift ends in 15 minutes. I don’t suppose you’d be willing to stick around to chat with a perfect stranger?” Alex’s brain stutters for a moment at his facade being so transparent that it's all he can do to stutter out a “Yeah—um, yeah. Okay, sure.” Maybe he also gets stuck on the words perfect stranger, and the immediate thought of mmmm, perfect indeed that pops up in his brain as a result. He chooses to ignore that as well. - Or, Alex is feeling insecure after a bad date - Henry shows him that he doesn't have to be

September

All of This Silence and Patience (Pining and Anticipation) | T | 5.1k | One Shot

“I didn’t know that you were—” he cuts himself off, sliding a hand over his face. “I, um. Shit, sorry. I just meant, uh… Christ—” Alex saves Henry some breath by cutting him off. “Bi? Sure am.” “Since when?” Is Henry’s only response. Apparently, being in dangerously close proximity to pretty boys makes him a bit dim. Whatever. He’ll have time to reflect on this and feel utterly mortified later. Alex does the following in slow succession: smirks, cocks an eyebrow, looks Henry up and down once, and shrugs a shoulder. “I dunno. Suppose that’s a bit hard to pin down, sweetheart.” - Or, Alex (flirty) and Henry (flustered) are both hiding in a closet at a party for different reasons

Baby, You're Gonna Lose Your Own Game | E | 4k | One Shot

Alex thinks he understands why people get stupid, impulsive tattoos like their ex’s name now if the sudden urge to etch the word darling onto his hip in permanent ink is anything to go by. So, yeah, Alex supposes. Henry may still be maddening, but his mouth? His voice? Maybe it was always hot, actually, and the irritation he previously felt was just thinly veiled complete and utter attraction. That would check out. Hate has always been a multifaceted word, after all. - Or, Alex decides that he wants to fuck the British out of Henry while watching him speak at a gala

October

King of My Heart | E | 8.5k | One Shot

Alex, as always, is utterly captivating. He accepts his crown with grace and a crooked grin; it’s a duality that only he can pull off. Alex’s megawatt smile is brighter than the hundreds of multicolored shards of light reflecting off the mirrorball in the center of the room. Henry knows that Alex looks good on stage, he knows that Alex knows that he looks good on stage, and apparently, everyone else knows it as well. Henry thinks he sees a girl faint at the sight out of the corner of his eye. And yet, no one knows about Alex and him. Everyone in the crowd wants Alex, but it’s a losing battle — Henry already won that fight a couple of weeks ago. - Or, When Alex wins Prom King, Henry sneaks him away for a moment alone and realizes that his feelings may run deeper than their clandestine hookups suggest

Help Me Hold On to You | T | 3.2k | One Shot

“I can’t do this all the time, Alex,” Henry huffs out, arms crossed from the opposite end of the couch. “I’ve been more than happy to help, and I’ve been doing so as much as I can, but we need to talk about it. It’s been…a lot for me.” Too much. Henry doesn’t say it directly, but it’s the undercurrent of his words. Two words that Alex has heard many times in his life, over and over again until they became permanently pressed into his eyelids like a brand, reminding him of his state of being every time he so much as blinks. - Or, Henry isn't always able to give Alex the help he needs, which sends Alex into a spiral, but they'll always find a way to work things out together

November

Save a Horse, Ride a Princess | E | 8.6k | One Shot

“I have to say, this is all quite literal, don’t you think?” Alex wouldn’t know literal right now if it hit him in the head. “Huh?” Henry points at Alex: “Pillow Princess,” and then to himself: “Cowboy. Ready to ride and all that.” Alex nods dumbly. “Right.” - Or, Alex and Henry dress up as the ultimate couples costume for Halloween — themselves — and they both feel some kind of way about it

December

Gonna Give You Something (So You Know What’s on My Mind) | E | 11.3k | Two Shot

Alex hums, turning around to pull open the freezer drawer. “You want anything?” But Henry barely registers his question. Not when Alex is slightly bent over, allowing Henry a perfect view of his perfect ass. Each individual ridge of his spine is visible due to his lack of shirt. All of these things combined would normally be a large enough issue in itself to render Henry dumbstruck, except— Except, that’s not the only thing that Henry’s faced with. Right there, clear as day: blue lace, delicately peeking out from the waistband of his joggers. Henry’s hand immediately flies up to his cheek. The skin is hot to the touch, and he feels the imprint of where the material once lay like a brand. - Or, With the help of a white elephant gift, Henry learns that maybe the whole being-in-love-with-his-roommate thing isn’t as one-sided as he thought

Coming Soon

Double shot - my first ever multichap! :) Featuring sexting, falling in love in a coffee shop, and learning a lot about oneself - I'm incredibly excited for this one

Walk and Talk - a long one shot - College AU, irl epistolary, the literal act of walking and talking out of class and getting to know someone - this has been in the works for months

Henry is a painting (untitled) - Magical realism - Alex has a painting of a prince in his bedroom and one day it talks - a series of their conversations at night time in Alex's room, introspection, discussions of mental health, and falling in love

A secret birthday fic for @happiness-of-the-pursuit

A valentines day fic - Magical realism, Henry can see other people's future love lives and sets up shop on campus - Alex visits one day and Henry see's something he's never been able to see in his visions... himself

Coming... Eventually

Soulmate AU, beach at night, 5+1 love confession through non-verbal cues, companion fic to AOTSAP, and more

THANK U SO MUCH TO EVERYONE AGAIN. I genuinely couldn't do this without you. Fic and RWRB and all of y'all mean so fucking much to me. Thank you for an amazing year, and I'm so excited for what's to come

Tagging other ppl and literally anyone whose fics have ever inspired me bc y'all are so important - @kiwiana-writes @inexplicablymine @read-and-write- @clottedcreamfudge @everwitch-magiks @smc-27 @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged @tintagel-or-cockleshells @iboatedhere @indomitable-love @orchidscript @onward--upward @sparklepocalypse @dumbpeachjuice @dustratcentral @dustratcentral @firenati0n @gayrootvegetable @leaves-of-laurelin @lizzie-bennetdarcy @cultofsappho @cricketnationrise @nocoastposts @myheartalivewrites @matherines and @rmd-writes

#affectionatelyrs #rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb fic #rwrb fanfic #my fics #about me #tag game #writing roundup #2023 writing roundup

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halsinshoneypot · 4 months

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You Are More Than Her Lies pt.3

To the girls, the gays, and the theys. I'm on my period and it's fucking awful - instead of 2 chapter uploads I'm gonna write a long one and hope you guys enjoy my literary waffle. I'm a heavy fantasy-romance reader (the Maas universe has me in a chokehold and I'm foaming at the mouth waiting for flame and shadow) so do not be surprised that there is a lot of inner dialogue and scene description over character dialogue. Now. Time to binge eat Reese's while escaping reality by writing <3

Sanji

“I killed an official of the capital...” Zoro mumbled, looking away with a painful grin on his face.

“Huh?!” Sanji shouted, watching as his unlit cigarette went flying to the sand.

Sanji’s mind broke. Mosshead was supposed to lay low, LAY LOW, not KILL an OFFICIAL of Wano. Just... what the fuck?! For the love of God, I hope none of the other’s followed his stupidity. The blond didn’t know what to say, what to do, what to even think ahead for. Was Zoro being chased? Were the others with him? Where are they? Why did he kill the city official? The question’s kept piling up and Sanji was too worried for the other crewmates to ask for the answers, if he didn’t acknowledge the bad, the bad didn’t exist – a hands over eyes kind of situation. But he needed to face the truth, because the possible consequences of mossheads actions could have the crew in deep shit and if they were, well, the two men needed to form a rescue plan. Maybe I can get mosshead to figure out where we are first and then sneak back to the capital? No, that man can’t navigate for shit. We’d just get eaten by a wild tiger or drown in quicksa-

“The others are fine. It was just me. Their covers aren’t blown, and they had no idea anything was happening for them to intervene – I made sure of it. They are always my priority, so stop worrying.” The feeling of confidence and reassurance trickles down the bond, this answers Sanji’s worries, and he is surprised that the swordsman had the brains to not include the other crew in his fuck up. But Zoro has always been protective over the crew, even over Sanji – Luffy the most, who isn’t though? – so it shouldn’t be surprising he didn’t risk the others. Maybe the blond was being a little harsh. On that note, Sanji lets go of the swordsman and sits opposite of him, deciding to gather their baring's to avoid the intense staring Zoro was adamant on.

“Oh, I didn’t realize I was projecting. My Robin-chwan is safe! But where are we? Do you at least know that?” There was the beach, a light and delicate sand that got darker the more contact it had with the deep blue of the sea. The shipwrecks were an ugly contrast to the stunning day that Wano was experiencing, the harsh view making reality that much more apparent. A cooling wind rushed between the wreckage’s, creating a whistling sound. Shadows of exotic trees native to Wano were towering over the beach but only slightly touching the two men, a sweet relief from the blaring sun made the cook want to reside in the full shade rather than fight in the sun. All Sanji could gather was that the climate of Wano was exotic, desert like in their current location, but he could see greenery in the distance. and he wasn’t sure if that would change the further inland they travelled. The cook could see some towers with smoke pollution in the far distance, the heat of the land and wind causing the sights to dance. If that was a factory then they must be close to a town. “I know we are in Wano”, the cook deadpans at the swordsman who only gives back a cheeky grin, “You were wondering around lost weren’t you?” This doesn’t surprise Sanji, it’s expected of the swordsman, Sanji had to ask in case the universe decided to be kind and give Zoro a sense of direction – but Sanji new not to hope for the impossible.

“I’m not wondering around lost... I’m just making sure Wano is fully explored, if there are any undiscovered societies or islands! How did you get here? Where’s the rest of the WCI crew?” Zoro’s tanned neck and tips of his ears started to turn pink, ignoring the fact that the two men shared a bond, his anatomy couldn’t hide his embarrassment from his directional challenges. Once again, because apparently the poor cook doesn’t a break, panic rises again “I don’t know! We travelled UP a waterfall with some koi that Luffy had a hold of”. As the cook rattled on about the events that led up to him being washed ashore an abandoned shipwrecked beach, Zoro tried his best to keep the cook from passing out – reminding the cook to “Take a breath shitty brow”, “Okay repeat that part but slower”, “Will you just slow down”. Sanji found it rather rude of Zoro, but the swordsman knew how the cook got when retelling events, he started to speed up and blame himself, claiming that if he was stronger than the event wouldn’t of went the way it did. The blond never catches onto Zoro’s reassuring looks; his comments that focusing on the past would hinder the cook's future growth, that Zoro would always have the crews back, and especially Sanji’s.

Sanji thought Zoro’s comments were because the swordsman was too stupid to keep up, of course the stupid muscle head didn’t understand Sanji, of course he didn’t have to worry about being strong enough to protect the crew, of course he would always come to Sanji's aid. It infuriates when the mosshead tells Sanji to take a breath or slow down; what if while informing the mosshead what happened just means the crew get injured further, get taken further away from their current location or possibly killed! Zoro is always calm, showing anger but in a controlled manner and then giving a short but quick speech to rescue or avenge the crew that were blackmailed or taken – as much as Sanji hated Zoro for being everything he couldn’t, Sanji also liked that about Zoro. The consideration and comforting words the swordsman has an uncanny way with, the bond that he doesn’t need to use to silently communicate to Sanji with and how it always works. Just like now, the frustration that Sanji felt was being wrapped and lulled to determination, changing the need to kick something into the need to wrap his arms around Zoro and thank him.

“You have no clue where they are, it’s fine. Knowing Luffy he’s made friends, ate some food and promised to beat up some corrupt person terrorizing his new friend's life. Since we are in Wano, that corrupt person is most likely Kaido and Luffy knows he needs his crew with him – needs his two strongest by his side. Nami is crafty, she’ll bat her eyelashes and scam her way to Usopp or someone already in Wano and get safe. The rest of them will either follow Nami or Luffy so we don’t have to worry. It’s okay, take a smoke and calm a little, use that smart brain of yours”. Zoro ranted, his hands on the blond's shoulders, grounding his thoughts from running further. Sanji listened and wondered why he didn’t think those things, but Zoro did. This moment solidifies why Zoro is first mate and Sanji the second. Zoro’s words are why Sanji can never be fully committed to the bit of hating each other, so Sanji does as the mosshead says.

Getting up from the sitting position the two are in, Sanji starts to walk towards the trunk of a large tree, “Follow me will you, this heat makes me more agitated than calm” Sanji explains to the mosshead – who lets out a gruff and follows Sanji to the tree, feeling the same way about the heat. The cook is the first to and rest against the tree, the swordsman sits next to him, their shoulder’s touching “You don’t need to sit so close mosshead, I’m not going to run off on a single man rescue mission!”. “I know, but this helps me; I’ve missed the crew, even the ones I see around the FC. I feel more myself when I’m around you lot, and I’ve been walking for days in this heat. So, deal with it.” Zoro says, eyes closed, and head tilted back on the tree.

Sanji blushes a little, he implied my presence is relaxing, didn’t he? Or the whole crews? Or each of us in our own way maybe. “Are you saying I’m relaxing to be around?” Sanji had to get clarification, Zoro acted like this with Nami and Luffy after the 2years they were separated. What’s changed for Sanji to become one of those people? “You are the first one I’ve seen from the WCI mission, and I’m exhausted. If you were Luffy I’d be on the floor suffocating from his crushing hugs. Plus, you are strong enough to have my back so I’m comfortable relaxing around you. I’m assuming I’m not making you uncomfortable cause you would’ve kicked me away by now” the exhaustion was clear in the swordsman voice. “You taking a nap isn’t gonna help us find the other’s ya’know, but if you insist on some photosynthesis then who am I to stop you.”, the blond quips up, hoping it’ll help the slight awkwardness he felt.

“I would need sun for that, not shade.”, of course he tries to be smart now. A sleepy feeling slithered down the bond, like getting in a warmed-up bath after being out in the snow all day, but no feeling of bracing for a threat like there usually is. Turning to get a proper view of Zoro’s head, Sanji sees how at peace Zoro is; his head tilted back, a slight smile to his usual scowl, the shade meant he didn’t need to squint his eyes leading him to look more youthful, and his chest was rising in a steady pace. It’s been a while since Sanji last got to see or even feel Zoro like this, possibly the trip from Punk Hazard to Dressrosa, even then there were certain stressors (like their multiple guests) so maybe before that? Then again, it’s been a while since their lives have had any semblance of calm. The rise and fall of the mossheads shoulder against Sanji's felt nice, the physical touch should’ve repelled him, burnt him, had him hissing like a cat at some tinfoil. Instead, the feeling was welcomed, and Sanji spent some of Zoro’s light nap wondering why they don’t behave like this around each other – the answer is Sanji and his embarrassment. Finding that answer led to memories of Momoiro Island and Ivankov’s teaching’s which helped Sanji grow both physically and personally.

Ivankov gave Sanji a lot of insight on how to learn new fighting styles and grow the ones he currently used. The revolutionary also noticed something new of Sanji that few others have, Sanji shared a bond, a soulmate bond. The soulmate aspect of the bond was news to the cook. He didn’t mean for Ivankov to find out about the strange power linking the two crewmates to each other, but on one particular training day Sanji felt immense pain. Pain so strong that he also felt where on Zoro it originated from, his left eye. Sanji reacted to the pain, screaming until he felt Zoro close off his emotions to the bond. Ivankov wouldn’t let go of what happened, the queen thought it was a side effect from training and wanted to lessen the blond's load. The truth finally came out at the idea of not being able to improve, to catch up to the others, to get strong enough to protect Zoro from that kind of pain in the future.

Learning the bond was due to the two men being soulmates was an even bigger shock than the fact Skypiea existed. Sanji knew there was some attraction to men, but he got confused quite often – thinking his attraction was more to the other male powers, wishing he had said powers to impress ladies with. When he started to find certain men attractive when they didn’t have desirable powers that’s when the blond started questioning. It was a rough journey and Ivankov didn’t help the acceptance of the newly dug up attractions. Learning Zoro (of all the people in the world, that shitty mosshead?!) was his soulmate only made Sanji’s feelings towards the man more turbulent. Even now, watching Zoro nap peacefully and knowing it was due to Sanji’s presence made his heart beat that little bit quicker, but would he admit that to the swordsman first? No, he needs to know if the swordsman felt the same way, then he would do something about their entwined fate.

“I hope you figure it out soon, I don’t know how much longer I can pretend.” Sanji muttered, feeling a bit more at peace with their situation then he did a few minutes ago.

“Hm? Figure out what?” Zoro mused; I should’ve kept my mouth shut, Sanji thought.

#sanji x zoro #zoro x sanji #zosan #one piece #zosan week #black leg sanji #op zosan #soulmates #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji

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feelbokkie · 11 months

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I had to say this before I sleep at like 3:30am lol: Hyunjin and Changbin are both valid in their approach now (keeping distance since wanting not to hurt Y/n more and wanting to fix things, respectively) but tbh neither of them deserve to feel better about this or to end up in an okay place with Y/n. Like damn, it took way too long for all of the guys to grow a conscience (or a braincell) about the bets and the rest of them still continue to be stupid about it 😤 and they were all supposed to be FRIENDS before this!

So yeah, now that I've calmed down from the hype of Felix fighting people, I'm mostly just concerned how you're ending this in just 2 more chapters???? 🥺 Y/n is injured now so she can't physically avoid everybody, so hopefully she opens up to at least Ae-Cha and Min-Jun or let them help her. But like, where will this go???? I'm excited to see where you're gonna take it!

Also, even though I know it happened irl, I'm so bad at imagining predebut Jisung who had arguments/fights with literally everyone. If I ever saw him wildin out, I'd just be so baffled at the audacity of this kid??? 😂

-👻✌️

P.S. I'm seriously considering maybe still trading you for your Maxident Binnie pc but I don't know what you'd like?? I have Hyunjin and Seungmin pcs from Maxident and Hyunjin and I.N pcs from 5-Star I'm willing to trade (throughout my albums, I seem to pull Hyunjin and Chan often, and Han the most lol)?

I think the problem with everyone being bad friends to Y/n that they're not as close to her as Felix, Ae-Cha, and Min-Jun are. Even Seungmin is a bit close to her since they have their own rapport going on with messing with each other's phones and Minho is her roommate, and the oldest in the apartment so he looks after the other 4 sometimes and Hyun has been in the same classes as her since first year and is her roommate. Ji, In, Chan, and Changmin only know her because of the other four and Min-Jun but don't hang out with her as often. But yeah, no, Hyun and Binnie are both stupid and don't even have a brain cell to share between the two of them. Or at least now they do.

I know I keep saying this, but I don't even know how I'm going to end this. I wasn't even planning on Hyun admitting that he's in love with Y/n. So I guess the vibes are writing the last two chapters. I'm going to be just as surprised as the rest of you with how it ends. I am stressed thinking about it but I'm excited to see where this is going too!

I watched the survival show a couple of months ago and I think that might be one of the closest instances of pre-debut Han we're going to see and even then I think they boiled it down for his image. I keep imagining the wallet incident between him and Seungmin and the "dance better" "rap better" argument between him and Hyun. 😂

P.S.

If you want to trade you can dm me! The Binnie pc that I have left is the one where he's wearing a hat and making the finger hearts. I pulled all of Hyun's Maxident PCs including the target version. I just traded for a Seungmin Maxident pc. I don't have any of I.N 5-Star. I have target Hyun for 5-Star. (I pulled Hyunjin, Chan, and Han the most often too. It's how Hyunjin wrecked his way into my bias line lol)

#feelbokkie answers #👻✌️ anon #LR press tour

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eolewyn1010 · 9 months

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Midnight! Not a sound from the pavement...~

Well, actually, there is sound, because it's raining again. And honestly, I'm not gonna complain about it. I know, it's not ideal, climate-wise, but hot, dry summers just kill me, so let me have this for now. Is it time already for the Elbe to flood again? I suppose other places need the rain more direly, but after the fires down in Sächsische Schweiz last summer, I'm happy if the forest is too wet to burn this year.

And I love listening to the rain. Even now that I'm itchy and insomniac, it's calming. Doesn't keep my thoughts from hopping around - like, an hour ago I was crying about a season finale of a show I'm watching - but I guess I'll just read @farnwedel snarking about Avalon until I fall asleep. I basically wanna thank them for about one to two dry, stupid jokes in each chapter recap; without that, the whole "reflecting on MZB and Darkover" business that I started would probably be way too dreary. Hell, even now, I've come to mostly spite my way through putting my memories in order. These days, it's difficult to get my brain to be quiet. C'mon, brain, let's go to sleep! Let's not write a tumblr friend an incredulous question about their tags; they hopefully have a nice brain and are asleep now.

Dammit, I still need to buy my train tickets for October. Today would've been a good chance for that, but then, we were tired today and really wanted to go home. My back hurts, and has been for three days; I feel like an old woman. I should be in a better mood, should at least get to feel a little accomplished - finally tackling the remains of uni bureaucracy, and my internship is finished two weeks from now. But the thoughts keep circling; I'm having restless dreams again, wandering through strange houses and meeting people, friends from years ago, family... Last time I dreamed, my grandma was there. She died five years ago, or four? I think it was the summer before Corona. She never made such a fuss or so many words about shit as I do. Oof, why does my brain always take so long to sort itself out? Always thinking twenty things at once.

Like, a couple days ago? I was at my niece's birthday party. Played a while with my nephew, and when I told him I'd go home soon and he got a little smug about not letting me leave, I told him there was nothing he could threaten me with that would impress me. Little brat shot me with a crossbow. Okay, that's not fair; it was a small, wooden renfair crossbow with very light and blunt bolts, but he shot that thing at my face from like three inches away? He's ten; he shouldn't be such a brat, especially not when I'm wearing goddamn glasses! Anyway, I didn't say a word; I just hopped up, grabbed my stuff, and ran out, and even though I'm still sure he was way out of line, I can't stop thinking about how that was not a neuronormative thing to do. Ugh. I wasn't the one who was misbehaving, so why won't you cut it out, brain? Is it because I didn't say goodbye to the others? I had a fright-and-flight reaction, is all. But nah, now, way after the fact, I can think it over. Ten or a hundred times. I wanna sleep...

#personal #my insomniac brain #stream of consciousness or smth I dunno

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davyjoneslockr · 2 years

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Ohh I wonder what you say about Giorno :0

I have So Many Thoughts about him and none of them are coherent let's go

favorite thing about them: Moral ambiguity in a main protagonist is always very cool and epic. I like that he's so thoroughly a combination of his dads, like he's a gentleman who aspires to make his country safer for kids, but he also. Y'know. Murders people a lot and doesn't bat an eye if it's for a greater cause. Very Machiavellian for a 15 year old lol. He's also just super weird and I really like that. My boy literally went to meet with Polpo and was like "yeah my only skill is I can put my entire ear into my head. watch this" and then proceeded to kill him. "Ohhh instead of stealing one car, I'm gonna ruin a hundred peoples' days by turning all these cars into frogs." "Yeah I'm gonna drive the car into a large body of water to escape an enemy who turns everything into ice. This is a good and sound decision." Literally impeccable

least favorite thing about them: Okay so maybe this will come as a surprise. But based on Vento Aureo alone, he is my least favorite JoJo by far. I found him really boring and overshadowed by the rest of the cast, mainly because he rarely had a real struggle. Like, in nearly every fight, I had no doubts that Giorno was going to sweep in and kill the enemy easily. Everyone in the main cast was constantly singing his praises except for Abbacchio, and even his disdain was clearly out of his own insecurities rather than actually disliking him. And like, even by JJBA standards, he just seemed a liiiittle too overpowered in general without much to balance it out. I think it's cool that he's essentially a catalyst for everyone else's lives to get overturned and for them to change as people, but at times, he really seemed like no more than a narrative device. It wasn't until I read PHF and started writing my own Vento Aureo fics that I started liking him and developing him as a character in my brain and now I can't stop thinking about him help

favorite line: Everything he says in the Solider in Love chapter in PHF. Holy shit. Everything from the stupid chicken rant to the "half a step" speech is just so interesting, and (to me at least) it all feels so deliberate characterization-wise. Like, Giorno in the PHF-verse is kind of a terrible person at times, and a lot of it has to do with him being so closed-off from everyone as a coping mechanism, but him being just like. A little silly and awkward with Fugo by complaining about chicken (and then proceeding to stuff his face with it, which is also just supremely funny), and admitting that he's grieving too, and offering to share in that grief with him, essentially prompting both of them to turn a new leaf together, etc etc I love it so much.

brOTP: Him and Mista. I love their platonic dynamic so much, even in canon/PHF timeline where they have a falling out, because that dynamic is still super super interesting to me. Just. Mista taking him under his wing and becoming the first genuine friend Giorno's ever had, Giorno looking up to him for guidance because, even though he's hyper-competent and definitely has his shit together more than Mista does, he's still an awkward teenage boy who's never really had any kind of social outlet, and he thinks Mista is cool in the way a kid thinks their older sibling is. Giorno goes to him for advice on talking to his crush and making new friends, and Mista takes him out to do silly teenager things he never got to try, and idk. Their friendship is so fun. And when shit goes down in canon and Mista hates him, I still think that a part of Giorno still looks up to him, and one of his biggest regrets is how he treated Mista because of his own inclinations to push away any potential bonds in the fear of being abandoned. Anyhow

OTP: Fugio!! Talked about them a lot already on my Fugo post, but. Man. From Giorno's end, I like to think that his feelings sort of stemmed from Fugo completely overturning his whole worldview just by existing. Like, Giorno has gone his whole life believing that suppressing emotions makes him strong and will keep him safe, and then in walks Hyper-Emotional Pannacotta Fugo and his Feelings-Based Killing Machine and he's like. What the fuck. How does he just. What. And cue Giorno Giovanna's extreme distress over this walking contradiction who can feel things and gains power through emotions and has just torn everything he believed to shreds and now he won't leave his brain what is happening??? (It's okay he just has a crush but he's really dramatic about it.) Also Fugo is a massive simp but Giorno is, too, he's just more subtle about it. 1000% he writes melodramatic love poems for him and decorates them with pressed flowers and sprays them with perfume and the whole time he's like. "Love my pathetic emo bf so very very much :) <333"

nOTP: Uhhh Giomis and that's all I'm gonna say on the matter. Also stuff like Brugio/Abbagio/whatever obviously.

random headcanon: When he was a kid, his mom and stepdad sort of left him to fend for himself, so he got really good at making like. Kraft mac and cheese and kid cuisines. On the other hand, he can't cook a meal from scratch to save his life. He has like no idea how the individual ingredients work, so, if left to his own devices, he just makes horrible 50s housewife jello salad type meals. He's definitely tried making alfredo sauce with melted ice cream because "ice cream is just frozen cream, isn't it? By that logic, I can melt it, and it should work." It did not. He was banned from cooking in the Bucci Gang house after that.

unpopular opinion: The fandom does him dirty just as much as Kakyoin. Seriously, I know I'm not the best Giorno writer either, but some of the stuff I've seen on AO3 is just. Yeah. Stop writing him as a sex object please thanks <3

song i associate with them: Flowers Never Bend With the Rainfall by Simon and Garfunkel is more or less how I like characterizing him. I also have a little playlist for him here.

favorite picture of them: Classic image but he looks so very cool :]

#giorno is my least favorite jojo!!1!#proceeds to write a whole ass essay about him #jjba #giorno giovanna

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elytrafemme · 2 years

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HELLO!! HI! HOW ARE YOU DOING?! IM GREAT! This chapter was so good, and I'm still riding my metaphorical high while writing this- Anyway, lots of things I want to talk about as per usual so imma get to it :D Tommy in this chapter was so....like- he's such a boi... Like you have got his dialogue mastered! it's literally just Tommy, like he's said that in canon. I always hate (love) when cs!Tommy is causally like, "We're brothers! Family! You are my person! :D" to Tubbo who just thinks, "No we're not, not really, I'm ruining your family, you were better off without me barging my way in your life" It's sad but I'm also a huge fan of dramatic irony and characters being entirely oblivious to the fact that they're loved. I really loved the quote, "You are my least favorite brother.” That’s not going to be much of an issue in a minute." Like dude, such a wonderfully stark contrast in energies between the two *chef's kiss* Open your damn eyes Tubbo, you literally are Tommy's brother smh. But seriously, your portrayal of clingyduo is always so well thought out and written, they are idiots who would do anything for the other's betterment, and it's so sweet. They just be vibing bein' teenage bois but with a pinch of (a ton of) depression thrown in for fun! Next I'm gonna talk about the scene with Tubbo and Phil, because holy cow was that some good writing, 10/10 would scream again! The mood for this was just so bleak, and the context makes it so clear to the reader (or at least to me) that Phil's gonna adopt him as soon as he mentions Tubbo's situation. Yet Tubbo just keeps planning his escape, how he'll survive, how he'll break the news to Tommy. It feels like the equivalent to watching a soldier march to their own death by choice. So miserable- I LOVE IT!! And his reaction to actually hearing that, no he won't be forced away, he'll be part of the family for real, he immediately goes into a state of panic because he doesn't feel like he should be adopted- that they don't deserve to have him ruin their family, but it doesn't defy logic. In fact, it makes more logical sense than the alternative, so it just matches what Tubbo's brain has been set up as. He goes with logic first, feelings second. But this reveals that he feels disgusted with himself to the point to where it doesn't fit with his logic, his whole base for living, he loses it and can't comprehend it. (Sorry if that part was incoherent I don't know how to use words lol) Anyway, it's all so consistent with his character in a way that turns his system of operation on its head, and exposes its flaws! And I really loved that whole paragraph using invasive species in an environment as an analogy for Tubbo in their family. So beautiful and sad that Tubbo literally thinks of himself as detrimental to the growth of his loved ones!

Now it's time for me to talk about *looks at smudged writing on hand* uh- fruit salad with mental illness..? Jokes aside, we got so much food this chapter, so much beeduo!! Per usual they had a gay as hell car ride, and Tubbo ranting about his hyperfixations- just amazing. And the fact that, at least in my interpretation, Tubbo is so used to and in love with Ranboo's voice that it's the first thing he thinks of to get out of panic. Mans cannot stand 5 seconds in silence and his immediate solution is to ask ranboo a gay-ass question- so good! And the line, "Tubbo has this stupid thought, sometimes, that if Ranboo’s talking, Tubbo can breathe again." THIS LINE IS JUST!!!!!! SO GOOD SO GOOOOOOOD. Tubbo always feels like he's suffocating and Ranboo helps him breathe!?!?! THE SYMBOLISM ITS AMAZING! And then we get all of Tubbo's spiraling self-hatred yet his desire to be loved in spite of him simply existing! He wants to hold onto Ranboo so tightly, but he's worried he'll suffocate him by proxy, and I just can't- it's so well done!! AND THEN WE FINALLY GET TUBBO OPENING UP ABOUT SOMETHING!!! And he's trying to mask why being adopted would be bad because he doesn't want Ranboo to defend him when he doesn't know how horrible Tubbo is! And Ranboo tries so hard, and doesn't know what to do, he literally loves him so much and wants to support him any way he can, and tubbo wants to help him too but thinks he's only making everything he touches worse!! And then when Tubbo was faced with the idea that he could be loved in spite of him being evil and gross and wrong he just breaks down and spills his guts out because he doesn't know how to live with that. Reading Tubbo finally open up was so cathartic and was just amazing. He felt so broken in that moment in comparison to the start of the chapter where he masquerades his misery with apathy or jokes. And just to destroy my heart some more because you thought it'd be funny, you made Ranboo open up a little too. Which meant even more to me, because Tubbo's been cracking at the seams for quite a few chapters now, we knew he would implode eventually. But Ranboo? For him it doesn't fester out of repression and denial, he feels and releases that misery all the time just not ever in front of Tubbo, so the fact that he was willing to share anything at all was such a giant breakthrough for him in the terms of their relationship. And I think this chapter really just secured beeduo as together in such a strong way. Because people connect through joy sure, but pain, empathy, that can be argued to bring them even closer. Okay, jeez I think I like cs!beeduo a little too much that was a lot of words lol. But yeah, those were my thoughts! This chapter made me really happy because the best thing to happen to characters who repress or shame all their trauma away is to talk about it to others. who could've guessed? Your imagery as usual was so vivid and brilliant, the spiraling scenes felt so real, and the dialogue felt so natural. Thank you for continuing to write this wonderful fic, because not only does it finally give me use for taking ib english, but it also makes me so so happy. I don't remember if I've said this yet or not, but if I have idc I'll say it again. You are the best dsmp fic writer for modern/human aus, never have I seen a better more realistic approach, you should feel proud! Until the next cough syrup tuesday mare! Have a good rest of your day! <333

HEY SORRY ITS BEEN ABOUT A WEEK HI!!!

one of the things that you can't really see fully because of the POVs but i always consider with cs!clingy scenes is the fact that a lot of cs!tubbo's confidence in the family dynamic as we know is sort of a farce because he doesn't feel like he belongs, but a lot of cs!tommy's force behind it also stems from some internal issues. i mean i'll go more into it in one of the later chapters but cs!tommy doesn't always have that confidence with his family. i don't know if that makes sense i'm a bit tired

"It feels like the equivalent to watching a soldier march to their own death by choice." love u saying this bc this is such a good way to describe it and im glad my writing could convey that feeling-- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS! i had to be delicate w/ that part because i didn't want to villainize philza in some kind of way but it's also a really complicated situation, and tubbo kind of jumps to what he sees as the most just option but his compass regarding what would be the best and worst option is skewed due to his self loathing

i wonder if you do a lot of writing yourself because i really am amazed by how you describe all these character connections its super fucking cool. but yeah beeduo!!! the process to opening up is really hard and what i want to demonstrate is this ebb and flow, this trust of one another but not an inward trust of themselves, and the idea that you oftentimes don't really dump all your bullshit on someone at once, you have some days you say more and then some aside comments and its some combination of that (albeit i have to accelerate the pace for narrative reasons that characters admit things to each other but yknow, cant have an 100 chapt fic) im really glad you like those two and honestly appreciate that a lot, the beeduo in the next upcoming chapters is going to be interesting to write so reading that was a bit like a pep talk funnily enough HAHA <33

YOU ARE SO FUCKING KIND TO ME WHAT THE HELL... THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! genuinely like, the fact that cough syrup can mean that much to you makes every single roadblock worth it and even if i have like, just one person out there who really really likes the fic, i'm never going to give up on it. because that means the fucking world to me. i appreciate you so much <3

see you in a week :]

#nightmare.ask #nightmare.cough-syrup #long post #cough syrup spoilers #galaxy tag :d

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blond-jerk-tourney · 6 months

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Champagne Bracket: Round 2, Poll 2

Propaganda from submitters Under Cut

Sakyo Furuichi

He's a 30-something-year-old idiot who's trying to round up 25 other people and keep them in line, but all those people are divded in like four troupes which makes it harder. Gives off tired dad energy but when he snaps, he SNAPS.

He's an asshole (affectionate)

Byakuya Togami

Very elitist, constantly calls others "commoners", talks about how he is gonna kill someone and get out of the killing game, hangs up a corpse and writes a message with their blood on the wall because he already knows the murderer but wants to see who is smart, complains the other students left him out even though he made sure to tell them every time that he wants nothing to do with them, pretty sure he screams in the 4 chapter " How can you know something I don't know?!", the only reason he doesn't qualify as a villain is cus he doesnt kill someone and in the end works with the rest of the survivors. He also constantly wants the protagonist to tell the rest what he knows

he's mean and self-centered and sees himself as above everyone else.

such a cunt 😭 doesnt eat breakfast w everyone and spends all his time in the library. (also he tampered with a crime scene but spoilers)

His title is literally, get this, "ultimate affluent progeny" Fucking look at him /hj Treats everyone as inferior in every way, even when they're trying to solve a murder he goes "how did YOUUU figure this out before MEEE???? >:0" Constantly has an "Me vs. Them" mentality about everything so he feels the need to prove himself to be superior - Messes with crime scenes because it would "make them more interesting" (purposefully incriminating someone else, who he didn't like) Actual quotes by him: "I'm only here to get breakfast. I have neither need nor desire to talk to you. Now withdraw." "You're like a child lost in the woods, you know that? A total waste of space." "You know, I still just can't believe it... That an uneducated, brain-dead, useless piece of garbage like you has survived this long." "You have only yourself to blame—you came to me with your tragic little story. I didn't ask you to. This is the real world, not some romantic fantasy fairytale."

This rich mf… He spends the entire game being a snobby, condescending, uncaring asshole. He becomes relatively nicer by the end but never stops being a dick. He also desecrated a corpse once for funsies. He’s also stupid but he doesn’t know that. I both like and hate him. It’s complicated.

He's an heir to a wealthy family corporation and he sure does act the part. He acts like he's better than everyone else and thinks they're not worth his time. He's just a huge asshole. (SPOILERS) He tampers with a murder scene just for fun and outs another student's secret alter, knowing full well it was irrelevant to the case. He also has a small breakdown about being wrong in another trial. By the end, he becomes a bit more likeable and kinda a tsundere that pretends like he doesn't care about the other survivors (but he totally does). Still very much an asshole though. He's a fucked up lil guy and something about him draws me to him. I would kick his rich bastard shins IRL given the chance, however.

He is emotionally detached from his classmates…

why you should vote byakuya "tell em naegi" thanks for watching like and subscribe

#champagne bracket #champagne bracket round 2 #polls #tournament polls #byakuya togami #danganronpa #a3! act addict actors #a3!#sakyo furuichi #blond jerk tournament

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randomanimehoe · 2 years

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Yo so like I might write a full length fanfic thats like a creepypasta reader insert. So heres chapter one, please tell me what you think! also updates might be random or short but this will also maybe be up on my wattpad @aBANANAQwQa

Anyway, here ya go :)

Time never seemed to go by fast enough. I always had something going on, relaxation just out of reach. School, skating, homework then time for bed. School and homework weren't hard per say, no it was just that they were time consuming and the other kids always drove me insane with their stupid hair, stupid faces, stupid thoughts and stupid comments. Being smart is both a blessing and a curse. I impress my teachers but good grades are an expectation and my peers jealous comments making fun of my brains are always a nuance.

"Of course they passed"

"No fair they have (—)"

"(—)'s gonna win"

"Do they do anything but study?"

"Siri ass bitch geez"

The list goes on. I try not to let it bother me and most of the time it doesn't...

But sometimes it's too much and I need an escape

I need to be alone

I need to put it all down

Sometimes I draw or daydream. But it's winter now the pond in the forest is frozen

I can put my feelings on the ice without an audience. There are some sides of me people don't need to see.

I told my parents I was gonna go practice which isn't a lie, just not the whole truth

Lacing up my skates, I step onto the ice, drinking in the silence. It's too peaceful for music, the mountains and trees shield me from the world and it's if I'm alone in a snow globe. I take off my jacket so I'm left I'm my hoodie, winter ear cover and gloves.

Staring at the grey sky, watching as glistening snowflakes kiss the branches of evergreens, preparing for the show; the sharp cold cutting my cheeks like a crystal blade. It feels right. It feels like home.

More of a home than mine. It's not that I'm not loved, it's just my emotional health was never really considered and there are bad people who keep coming back, bad people who I'd love to feel cave under my gaze, fear filling their eyes before they go dim, lifeless, like a day old carnival goldfish.

I can't bring myself to do it. Instead I write my woes in cursive, the dancing blades of my skates scratching my emotions into the smooth surface of the lake.

Back spiral into a double lutz.

Scratch spins into a layback, then a hair cutter. I don't have any choreography in mind so I skate what I feel is right, showing off to the trees.

I stop, something feels off. It's almost like... someone else is here, watching me.

That's ridiculous

But no, I hear applause and look to my left to see a tall figure with a blank white face and formal suit. He's as tall as the trees. I continue to stare as static fills my head, my body becoming weak, feeling like I'm spinning and falling at the same time. I want to be sick. I fall, closing my eyes and grasping my head, pulling it closer to my thighs.

Then, the world goes silent again. I open my eyes and the figure is gone. It's dark, the stars are clear in the sky like a canvas sprinkled with pearl dust and diamonds. Was I dreaming?

#Creepypasta #fanfic #skating #ice skating #slenderman #x reader #gn mc #mystery #To be continued??#Wattpad #Caverns

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irish-urn · 1 year

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18. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? Also, any plans to continue your LWD rewatch? Hate that the episodes were taken off of YouTube.

OOOOOOH. Oh man. What an excellent question. I mean, I laugh about what I write all the time, soooo...

Okay, okay, so my FAVOURITE passage is from Extraction (Dental and Emotional): ...“Because you’re not in love with me.”

He frowns very deeply. “Am I stupid?” [I laughed for almost 15 minutes; my mom asked if I was okay because I was doing my breathless laugh and she thought I was having trouble breathing.]

Second is probably from Take Off Your Shoes Now (You're in the Right Place), and it's near the end when Derek and Casey are talking around their feelings: “Y’know,” he says finally. “Games… games can be really important. Like, to some people, they’re… everything. I mean… look at the Olympics! People dedicate their whole lives to something some people might consider just a game—” [I... I just feel like I nailed Derek in this; he is saying that Casey is "everything" without actually saying it, and I just feel really proud of us both, tbh.]

And third place is probably from No White Flags (No Need to Be Afraid), chapter 6: “If it helps at all,” he says, his voice a little careful. “Sometimes I have to wait a long time before I get what I want.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Der… That’s called delayed gratification.” And she leans down the couple of inches of height difference caused by their seating arrangement, and almost touches his nose with hers. “And I hear that’s the kinky shit pornos are made of.” [I grin every time I read this, and I can just SEE Casey doing and saying this so very clearly.]

THANK YOU for the ask; and YES. I do plan on continuing my LWD re-watch; it's just that school finally finished, and both jobs are kinda INSANE right now as December moves later and later, and my brain goes from: I don't want to do anything ever to WRITE. WRITE DASEY NOW. I'm hoping things will settle soon though and I can pick it up again. Honestly, it not being on YouTube just makes it that much harder for me TO watch it because there are so many more steps now, so... (How dare they take it off; honestly??? What did we ever do to them? I doubt the movie is gonna be THAT good!!)

#asks #life with derek #i actually like my writing a lot and sometimes i'm like a preening bird all proud of what i've done

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hollandorks · 2 years

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I realized I didn't comment on the new headers. They look super cool bestie, I love them. Now, I sit here, with my half glass of orange juice (I ran out—sue me) and Day 19 of the Depp v. Heard trial playing in the background, ready to write for chapter 28!

He had known they shouldn’t have trusted that girl Lena, they–

See! Bruce didn't trust her either! Like I said, if distrusting Lena is the Titantic, I'm the string quartet.

It's not that I think she lied, but I think she was involved, at least to some degree, against her will. So I distrust her that way. She doesn't want to hurt anyone, she just wants to protect her kid, so she had to do what they told her to do. I trust that she is a good person forced to do bad things. That's all.

Bruce screamed against the bonds of his own body. Thrashed. But his body didn’t move. He barely breathed. Barely blinked.

This is where my drama degree comes in because I'm about to geek out a little bit.

Could you imagine if this was shot? R. Patz, dressed in dark-mid grey sweats and a black sweater with holes punched through it, in an empty, dirty white room, screaming, hitting the walls, and thrashing around with a bunch of jump cuts? And then it zooms out to make it seems like that's going on inside Batman's eye so we can see Batman standing completely still?

Or, you know what, that would make sense stand alone, but we'd have to show the empty syringe so... NEW PROPOSAL! We stay with Batman, watch him pull out the empty syringe, cut back to his face, with his widening eyes, zoom into his eyes, see the aforementioned RPatz freak out, and then clean cut to Batman's stoic face.

I, personally, would die in the theatre. They would have to carry my dead body out of the cinema with all the other trash.

“She punched the mayor,” Alfred said softly, a hint of awe in his voice. [...] Reader's pov She punched the mayor,” Alfred said softly.

I just found it interesting to see that Bruce noted the awe Alfred had in his voice and the reader did not, merely saying Alfred said the phrase softly. It does two things: one, Bruce is so in love with the reader that he hears awe in Alfred's voice and it's totally plausible that he was just projecting his own awe at the reader; and, two, the reader feels less-assured about herself to the point that she doesn't even note the awe Alfred may or may not have. Well done, Shelbs can I call you shelbs?

Before that, even–she should have run him over with the Batmobile until he was nothing but a smear on the tires.

What a nice gruesome thought.

Again, it's so interesting to see both Bruce and the reader thinking about killing people in the same chapter even though we know they wouldn't kill anyone unless they absolutely had to. To reiterate what we know, they do things out of love, so they don't want to snuff out the chance of redemption unless they're really given no other choice.

“You were so drunk you passed out. All I had to do was mess my hair up a little and tell you how amazing you were. And you believed it. As if a dick that small could ever make a girl come.”

I love the bravery. It's stupid, but, like, yeah, you might as well insult him while he's waiting to kill you. What do you have to lose? jk

“Might as well tell me what you’re planning,” she said. “Or rather, what Mr. Mayor here has planned. Sorry, James, I just don’t think you’re smart enough to come up with any kind of evil plan. A small dick and a small brain.”

This is exactly how I plan to act in the event anything ever happens to me. Annoy the motherfucking shit out of them and insult them until they cry. If you're gonna die, you might as well enjoy it.

One of them caught her by the silk wrap she still had. She whirled and used the momentum to wrap the cloth around the man’s hands.

Yes!! I knew that silk wrap was gonna come in handy!

“It’s okay, I know you can’t help it. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

My heart is soft. You just know Bruce is watching her say that while his body is killing her against his will. Again, I just want to shoot it. RPatz watching him kill the reader from inside his own mind, unable to do anything about it.

Y/n let Maxwell’s blood coat her hands. She pressed herself against him. Whirled so he was a shield between her and Bruce. She pulled the knife out. Stabbed him again. Twisted. Yanked the blade out again. Stabbed him a third time. She stared into his eyes as his blood poured over her. “I promised I would kill you,” she whispered to him.

Hm.

Interesting.

I mean I see that she did need to kill him. It was him or Bruce, so...

But promising to kill someone and actually killing someone are two very different things. I wonder what psychological consequences there'll be.

The door burst open. Alfred was there with a shotgun. He was limping, one leg bloodied with his tie used as a makeshift bandage. He shot one of the security guards with no hesitation. There was a cut on his chin. There were men behind him, trying to stop him. Murphy and the two guards within the room drew guns.

I really appreciate how Alfred and the reader are both willing to kill for Bruce (and have). It's a nice contrast against Bruce, who tries so hard not to kill people.

The way I see it, it's almost like, despite Bruce being Batman, he's the one out of the three of them that needs the most protecting. It makes sense. So much has happened to him and, like I mentioned, he's been pretty frozen in time since his parents died. So out of the three of them, he'd be the one with the most naivete, optimism, and belief in redemption.

All in all, great chapter!! Onto 29!

⌨

AND YES, Adam Sandler spoke at my school and SHOOK MY HAND

And his family sat behind me the entire time. WITH MARTIN SCORSESE

Thanks bestie I love the headers too 🥺🥰

Love the Titanic analogy with Lena. Truly, I love it 😂 I wanted to make her untrustworthy but then I needed her for the sequel for hot second, then I wanted the reader to have a friend who doesn't get shot in front of her so....sorry. Lena's cool for now.

Okay but imagining this playing out in the theater is so cool. You're exactly right--it'd be like Rob as Bruce in a tiny little room freaking out and beating his fists on the walls etc and then it'd zoom out of his eye to show Batman's stoic face. That's almost exactly what I imagine for both him and the reader when writing them being drugged!

Side note here but my family always (affectionately) tells me that if I ever got kidnapped the kidnappers would give me back for free because I'd get on their nerves too much. So obviously that's my plan too. Just annoy the shit out of them, make them cry, etc 😂

I think the reader brings up her promise to kill Maxwell as like a last ditch effort to convince herself it's okay. He deserves it, he's a piece of shit, she's saving Bruce.

Love what you said about Bruce needing the most protection and you're totally right. He's still that traumatized little kid! I know Alfred definitely recognizes this, because Alfred goes into protective dad mode with Bruce a lot.

Also HOW COOL ADAM SANDLER SHOOK YOUR HAND! Love that for you bestie!!! Still can't figure out how to find your name/ info tumblr because I'm dumb but I somehow pulled up a livestream of the salute & I'm pretty sure I saw you in your sparkly mask 😂

#asks #anon #motn #shelby is a bad detective #that's my new tag for this #my bestie ⌨️#⌨️ anon #⌨️

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deepperplexity · 3 years

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I've been trying to write ch.21 of JAS since frikkin Monday..! Like, I know what needs to happen but I can't for the life of me figure out how it should happen...

It's now Friday, 08.27 am, and I am gonna write this frikk-frakkin chapter even if it fries my brain and I need to re-write it ten times. It's gonna happen - you hear that brain?! Frikkin try me!

*angry tapping on keyboard*

#writing #my writing #JAS #ugh I am so over this sh!t I need to write this #stupid brain I have to get this darn chapter out #just let me write it for goodness sake!#so frikkin frustrating to have the what but not the how #and I've had the hardest frikkin week so I'm exhausted on top of it all but I wanted to get this chapter up yesterday #so I'm feeling the darn pressure something fierce now #I'm still trying to stick with 2 chapters a week but some weeks it's just hard and I fail and I'm sorry for that #I hope you can bear with me dearies as my brain is being a silly goblin right now #gonna close down everything and only have my writing up now so I can frikkin focus as much as possible #I'm gonna write this chapter now stupid brain - just you watch!

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blackkatmagic · 2 years

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Hi, so I haven't commented in a while. It's because I had a small surgery and wanted to wait until I could leave a coherent review :D So I have hoarded the new chapters and you're going to receive my flailing about them all at once, I hope you don't mind.

Not the waking: Okay, this chapter kinda broke my heart. Like in the "it mugged me in an alleyway, punched me in the stomach, took all my money and left me in a fetal position on the floor" kind of way. Fox, Ferus, Cody and Jon, I just want to bundle all of them in blankets.

Dawn of a doom: what a team, this is going to be the craziest found family. If Barriss ends up with two new big brothers and a big sister, they are absolutely going to go batshit if something tries to hurt her.

Starshine and Clay: Anakin thinking about the clones was heartbreaking, I'm really interested in the way you portray his journey. And baby clones! Jango better start praying, because when Jon catches up with him it's not gonna be nice.

Fracture: I love Trilla more and more with every chapter, especially the Trilla - Luke relationship. Tarre will have to do a lot of house cleaning Mandalorian style when gets to the present. The Death Watch and Pre are toast.

More stories in the Never travelled universe, yay! Mace and his lineage of theater nerds in their element is awesome. And Shmi is also a jedi, which is also great. I have to admit, I got a little confused about Cyslin's lineage, who is the apprentice of who? I mean I understand the Depa and Maul are both Mace's padawans, but what about Savage and Eldra, who was their master? And who is Feral and Kass' master now? Sorry for the barrage of questions, it's just that there are a lot of Jedi in that group :D The Keeli/Feral tag made me cheer. They will be the nice couple, who will absolutely turn around and wreck anyone who is stupid enough to stand in their way. And Jaster will a 100% snatch up every single clone. Jango's reaction to that is going to be intersting :D :D

Oh the one shots, so many awesome one shots! Mando!Jon isn't going to leave my brain any time soon. I don't know who is older, Jon or Ursa, but I've been picturing an older sister Ursa. However Countess Wren picked Jon up, it must have been glorious, and the Dark Woman still hasn't recovered from it.

Or the one with Jon and the Domino squad, that one warmed my heart. I'm still so sad we didn't get to see more of the Domino squad in the show, Hevy would have been such a good commander. And Jon wandering around with a small mobile unit is much more up his alley, than having to lead an entire battalion.

Which leads me to Indestructible, loved the sentinent cloak bit :D even if it's gonna be some time before Jon understands that it wasn't said maliciously. He's just really out of his element. His relationship with Kass is also very intersting, so different from his dynamic with Katooni in Never travelled. But here both him and Kass are fighting a war, in leadership positions they did not want and Kass has already lost a Master she loved.

And finally, my absolute favorite, RWLF. Feral is getting better and better. He's becoming the world best long-range Force powered telephone, and now with the new lightsaber he got even more sneakier. I'm glad Wolffe was able to work through his emotions.

The Padme/Fox/Maul part was ummm, really hot. Those three fit together better than I ever thought they could even in bed :D

Thank you so much for writing all of these amazing stories!

💜💜💜

I'm glad you're all right, and I hope your recovery goes well!!

#kat answers

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thisisawonderfulusername · 3 years

Text

let's save the world

season two, episode eight

five hargreeves x reader

summary: you have one final idea to get back to twenty-nineteen: finding yourselves

warnings: cursing

word count: 2.6k

a/n: this took for fucking ever but i'm not even gonna apologize at this point because i'm ninety percent sure it will happen again. sorry in advanced. just be glad i did it, alright? anyways, please enjoy episode eight, i loved writing it, i don't know why i put it off for so long

“we were that close.” you whisper to yourself as you go up the stairs, “so close.”

the door to one of the rooms slams behind you as you quickly look through the cabinets, before finding a bottle of whiskey. the only thing you need right now.

you twist the cap off, tossing it to the side as you sit on the couch with a heavy sigh.

you can hear luther speaking as he presumably follows five up the steps, but you don’t focus too much on what he’s saying. something about making a new plan, which almost makes you laugh. no other plan would ever work, if this one didn’t. his family would never let that happen.

the door opens once again as five enters, slamming it shut and locking it before luther can come in behind him. “five!” the big man shouts outside of the door, knocking on it, “come to what?” a sigh follows shortly after, and you hear his steps recede, apparently giving up.

you look to five, holding the bottle out, “want some?”

when he takes it, you expect him to take a drink, not find the cap and twist it back on, “what are you doing?” he questions.

“what are you doing?” you shoot the question back, reaching for the bottle, “if you didn’t want any, you didn’t have to take it.”

he looks at you incredulously, holding it out of your reach, “we still have an apocalypse to stop! you can’t just be sitting in here drinking!”

at that, you let out a loud laugh, yet nothing about this is funny. “you’re kidding, right?” you raise an eyebrow, sinking into the cushions, “i’m done with that.”

setting the booze on the coffee table, his eyebrows furrow at you, “what do you mean? you can’t be done with it. we don’t have much time!”

“don’t you get it, five?” you lean forward as you look up at him, “we can’t stop this. no matter how hard we try, we’ll never be able to. there’s always something that gets in the way when we get seconds away from actually doing it. let’s face it, the world is against us, and this apocalypse is happening.” you sound defeated, and you hate hearing it. you never wanted to give up, to let the world get the best of you. it tried to before, and you persevered. but none of that matters anymore, because soon enough, you'll be nuked and your existence won't have mattered.

he’s shaking his head in disbelief, “no. no, it isn’t. you’re supposed to be the one helping me, y/n! we can still do it.”

“and what’s your plan this time? do you even have one?” you can feel the tears brimming your eyes, and you hate feeling this weak in front of him, but there was no stopping it now.

“i do.” he states, “but i need you to help me.”

sitting on the couch next to you, turned in your direction, he gently guides your eyes to his, his hand resting on your cheek. "i can't do this without you. i can't save the world if i don't have you to help me."

a tear escapes and you quickly wipe it away, sniffling as you gather yourself before you break down completely. "fine." you breathe.

you were currently in the kitchen, chugging down as much water as you could from a pitcher before passing it along to five. This plan was so, so stupid. he began to drink from it as well, and luther, who had been napping on the couch, entered.

“five, what…” he glances between the two of you, you putting baby powder anywhere on your body you deemed necessary, and to him, taking in a breath as he flipped the top closed on the pitcher. “are you guys okay?” he questions in confusion.

“we need to be hydrated.” he breathes out, and you hand him the baby powder once you were finished.

if it was possible, luther’s confusion grew, “what’s with the baby powder?”

“it’ll help with the itching.” you state, giving no further explanation.

“what itching? there’s itching? what the hell is going on here?” as five puts some of the powder in his pants, realization dawns on his face, “you do have a plan.”

grabbing his blazer, five sighs, “well, it’s a desperation move, but… since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, well- we have no choice.”

“no choice about what?” you follow him into the living room, flipping the watch you stole from the formerly sleeping man- since he no longer needed it- open.

“we have to find ourselves.”

luther is so stunned, trying to process it, that he doesn’t speak. “we just arrived in dallas fifteen minutes ago.” you state, closing the watch and sticking it back in your pocket.

“should i be worried about you guys?” luther finally asks, his eyebrows furrowing at the two of you.

“luther, if you recall,” five speaks as he begins to stretch, “we were sent to nineteen sixty-three on a job by the commission to make sure the president was assassinated.”

“oh!” luther starts to understand, “so, wait, your old self is out there.”

“precisely.”

“what, just walking around dallas?”

“walking around dallas with a briefcase that can get us home.” you tell him with a smile. now, if this plan didn’t work, you were truly screwed. of course, the older looking versions of yourselves won’t give up the briefcase so easily, but you know for a fact you can do it. and with that briefcase, there wouldn’t be a time limit. you could gather all of the siblings together and finally be rid of the apocalypse. maybe, just maybe, it will be the last that you have to deal with.

“oh, my god.” luther’s hands come together in front of him, “you are geniuses.”

“however, there are two significant problems with this plan.” five tells him, you nodding along, “problem number one: we are two trained assassins, arguably the most dangerous assassins in the space-time continuum. If we know ourselves, we’re not going to react kindly to bumping into us.”

you knew it sounded like you were giving yourselves a pat on the back, but he wouldn’t be saying it if it wasn’t true. and it definitely was.

“problem number two,” he paces, “this is the real fly in the ointment here: you’re not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. the side effects can be disastrous.”

luther seems as if he’s trying to process all of this, “side effects? what sort of side effects?”

“well, according to commission handbook chapter twenty-seven, subsection three-b, the seven stages in paradox psychosis are…”

“stage one: denial.” you begin counting off on your fingers,

“two: itching.” five looks to his brother,

“three: extreme thirst and urination,”

“four: excessive gas,”

“five: acute paranoia,”

“six: uncontrolled perspiration,”

“and seven:” you pause for a moment, dropping your hands, “homicidal rage.”

“homicidal rage?” luther questions, to which both of you confirm, “jeez, i don’t know. this maybe isn’t such a good idea.”

five begins to pace again, throwing his arms to the side, “it’s a hail mary. but what choice do we got, luther?”

leaning against the door frame, the large man shrugs, “i don’t know, you already seem a bit squirrely if i’m being honest.”

“listen luther, we’re gonna need you to help us get through this one, alright?” you stand in front of him, “we need… a spotter.”

“a spotter?”

“yeah,” you breathe out.

his eyebrows furrow, “what is that, like a wingman?”

“in case the paradox psychosis gets too severe,” five strides over, “we need you to help us stay on task, alright? so whatever happens, whatever we say, we need to get that briefcase. okay?”

“okay,” luther breathes.

“okay.” your shoulders relax.

both you and five turn and make your way to the steps, and you barely realize that luther is still at the doorway, staring in front of him. “luther, come on!”

“right.”

there’s an irish jig playing as you enter the bar, and chatter fills the air between the people inside, sitting at tables and at the stools along the bar countertop. you look around, skimming over all of the people, until you see them. or- you and five. it’s weird, seeing the older looking woman who sat next to the older looking five. you barely recognized them, since you had been looking at your thirteen year old selves for a while now.

“there we are.” five has spotted them as well. sitting at the bar, the briefcase on the raised wood that acted as a footrest between the two older versions of you.

“why don’t we just grab the briefcase and run?” luther asks.

“luther, we would never let that happen.” you tell him, looking up at him for a second, “we’re trained to guard those briefcases with our lives.”

“right.”

“plus, it’s the inherent paradox where this gets tricky.” five adds in. “we’re endangering our existence just being in the same room with ourselves.”

“huh? what do you mean?”

you roll your eyes, “luther, keep up. if our old selves don’t travel back to twenty-nineteen like we’re supposed to, the whole thing unravels itself. we cease to exist. got it?”

“i… got it.” he doesn’t seem to, but you decide not to try to explain further and confuse him even more.

“so our best chance is to talk with them, to reason with them.” five rolls his shoulders back, “they’ll understand. trust me. i know us better than… better than i know us.” the sentence is confusing, but the point gets across.

as five reaches up to scratch his neck, luther is quick to point it out, “that’s stage two of paradox psychosis.” he whispers urgently.

“no, i didn’t.” five states, “i didn’t itch my neck.”

“denial is stage one.” the large man points out.

“let’s stay on task, shall we?” you wave towards the two of you sitting at the bar, and as you’re about to step forward, luther reaches his hand out to stop you.

“wait!” you look at him in a mix of confusion and annoyance, “maybe i should go first.”

“why?” five asks him, also confused.

“well, you’ll freak them out.” he motions at the two of you, “bumping into your own tiny doppelganger? they’ll lose their shit.” he looks to the older versions of you, “just, let me break the ice.”

five glances around, sighing, “okay.”

“okay.” luther breathes out slowly, and you watch as he approaches the two older yous. you’re not sure if you can trust him one hundred percent.

as he begins to speak, the two of you very quickly get confused and on guard. meanwhile, you unconsciously grab hold of five’s hand to approach. “nope! don’t freak out. no freak-outs. alright.”

as the large man slowly steps to the side, you see yourself- your old self- tense up at the sight of younger looking you. “hey there, stranger.” your five speaks up, and the two older yous are almost shaking in their shoes from the shock and confusion.

you swear you see fear in your own eyes. it’s a look you remember seeing when you first landed back in twenty-nineteen and looked in the mirror at the you that had gotten stuck in the apocalypse. the you that was stuck alone for years until the commission brought you back to five. it was jarring to you as well, at first.

you remember staring into your own eyes. the little girl who had held five’s hand as he discovered the full extent of his powers, until it disappeared from her grasp and she was left in a smoldering, crumbling world.

the five of you had gotten a table, and you sat across from your older self, gaze unwavering. out of the corner of your eye, you could see the two fives glaring at each other.

“well, isn’t this nice?” luther breaks the silent tension, “the five of us, together like this.”

“no.” all four of you speak in unison, and luther is clearly uncomfortable, almost squirming in his seat.

the old five doesn’t look away from himself as he begins to speak, “somebody explain to me how it is i’m having a pint of guinness with my younger self.”

“older, actually.” the five sitting next to you states, “i’m you, just fourteen days older.”

“i have pubic hair smarter than you.” the other you says coldly, her fingers laced together on the table in front of her, “how’s that possible?”

“i can explain,” the younger seeming boy responds, “you see, one hour from now, on the grassy knoll, before the president is killed, you break your contract with the commission.” he leans forward slightly, “i already know you’re thinking about it. all those years in the apocalypse, we never stopped worrying about our family. well today, you’re going to do something about it.” he sits up straighter.

“today, you are going to attempt to time travel back to twenty-nineteen. however, you are going to screw up the jump, and end up in this twip of a body.” he points to himself with his two thumbs. “trapped forever, small, pubescent.”

“okay.” the older one finally breaks his stare, shaking in his seat, “even if i was to believe you, what am i supposed to do, not jump?”

“no, no.” you break away from the eyes of yourself, “we need you to jump. if you don’t jump, we cease to exist.” you motion between yourself and your five, “what we need is for you to jump correctly.”

“i’m listening.”

“the first time through, i got the calculation wrong. that’s how we ended up in these bodies.” five begins to explain, “but now, i know the correct calculation.”

the other is almost on the edge of his seat in anticipation, “what is it?”

“he’ll tell you.” you tell him, causing his gaze to turn to you instead, “in exchange for the briefcase you’re holding under the table.”

“yeah, yeah.” luther speaks up from where he’s sitting, “so now, you go back to twenty-nineteen, as planned, but this time with the right math, so you remain a full grown man. in exchange for that briefcase that you no longer need.” he points to the space between the older yous where it rests, a smile on his face.

“timeline restored, paradox resolved.” five speaks, “everyone goes on, existing happily ever after.”

the older you finally breaks her silence, “that’s quite a bit to take in.”

everyone’s heads turn towards her, “what do you think?” five asks, glancing between the two of them.

“i think,” older five says, “i need to piss.” he promptly states, standing from his seat and grabbing the briefcase, heading in the direction of the bathrooms. older you quickly looks between all of you, before also standing up and heading in that direction as well. you have a feeling that they’ll be discussing the situation at hand.

once they disappear down the hall where the bathrooms are, luther breaks the short silence that fell between the three of you. “well, besides the flop sweat, i think that went pretty well, right?” you had barely noticed, but there was, in fact, beads of sweat on your face, and you grabbed one of the napkins to wipe it away while luther patted one to five’s face.

“no, there’s something…” five fidgets in his seat, “something doesn’t feel right about this.”

luther is confused, which you’ve noticed happens a lot. “what… what do you mean?”

agreeing with five’s sentiment, you shake your head, “i don’t trust them.”

“but… they’re you.” he states in confusion.

“exactly.” the two of you speak in unison.

“well… i’m going to go to the bathroom too… maybe talk to him?” it’s more of a question as he stands up before quickly scurrying away.

“they’re planning something.” you state, leaning back in your seat as you scratch the back of your neck.

nodding, five takes a drink from his glass, “we have to be ready for whatever it is. we’re dangerous.”

“very.”

taglists

main: @horrorklaus @megasimpleplan4ever

tua: @rasberrymay @noodlextrash @atomicpillar @malfovs @andreasworlsboring101 @lunylovelovegood

five taglist: @anapocalypseinmymind @five-hargreeves-official @insatiable-ivy @coffee-e-addict @xplrreylo @fandomfreakff @colie-babi @flowertoty @avovada @badwolf00593

let’s save the world: @aspiringwriter1 @thetrashypanda423 @lilacs-lavender @wow-lookit-all-the-fandoms @ohmyitsfaith @xplrreylo @fandomfreakff @onedollarduck @sleepygal124 @faith-quake @stripedchickens @youcandalekmyballs @pettyjayy @libidinexx @bts-chub @theoriginalkat @flowertoty @whenyouwantdeath @ot7purple @purblerain @megasimpleplan4ever @whenyouregrungeaff @dumdumsun @malfovs @hxney-lemcn @frnks-stuff @imwaytootires @avovada @badwolf00593 @dumdumsun @zero2461

#tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #five #five hargreeves #number five #tua x reader #the umbrella academy x reader #umbrella academy x reader #five x reader #five hargreeves x reader #number five x reader

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acklesterritory · 3 years

Text

That Kind of Love Never Dies_Chapter 1

Hey guys, Now that more voted to split my fictions in 2 parts, I'm back with the first part. I hope you like it. Don't forget to leave me feedbacks. I'll always appreciate them. Love you all.

This is for writing event @tvdspngirl314

My quote is "That kind of love never dies"

Dean x Reader series (just 2 parts)

This chapter words: ~5k

Series warning:

Angst, fluf, smut, angry Dean, hurt Reader, hurt Dean, there's some more but I hate spoilers so I insist on "Angst & Hurt"

It all started with a stupid argument at home. What was it? Three months ago? Sam couldn't remember the exact date but after years, it was the first time this awkward coldness between Dean and Y/n had started to build. He could remember the first time he and his brother came across Y/n like it was yesterday, they were hunting a very nasty creature who used to kidnap young and lonely women at night, then got them wrapped in ropes and ties on a bed in a warehouse to rape, torture and feed on their blood until the victim either died or accepted to turn into one of his kind.

Sam could remember the helplessness in people's eyes too. The pain of the victims' families, the frustration and anger on cops' faces when no one could find the criminal yet, even after the sixth missing girl.

"Sammy, he just kidnapped another girl. And I think I know where he's gonna take her. Let's hunt this son of a bitch."

When Dean was saying that, Sam never expected him to fall in love with the woman they would save that night. Well, unfortunately they weren't fast enough to prevent any harm to the girl. When they arrived and Dean killed the nasty creature, Y/n was almost dead. The monster had already raped her, tortured her … and when he felt the hunters enter the place, he drank almost all of her blood, to gain more energy to fight. So as always, Dean was up to blaming himself. Of course only in his own eyes, not anyone else's.

"Call Cas to come home. Tell him it's an emergency."

Dean told his brother when he finally could get Y/n out of those ropes. And Sam knew he was right. At that point, no one could save Y/n unless God or his angels. Maybe she was not so lucky coming across a nasty supernatural creature like that but she was lucky enough that Cas arrived just on time and healed her. However, angels can only heal physical wounds. But Y/n was hurt much more than that. She couldn't just move on from the things that the bastard had put her through. Even after Cas tricked her brain to forget some certain things, she still had bad nightmares and had this dark shade of hopelessness in her eyes. Soon, she started to eat and talk less and less. And Dean just couldn't let her go. He really wanted to fix all of that for her but she kept shutting him out… until the depression hit her. It was so bad that Cas felt the need to tell them to prepare themselves for her death. Because after all those days and unlike everything else in their lives, The Winchesters were already used to her presence around them; like the way a lonely person can get used to a wounded cat more and faster than anyone else.

"I'm not gonna hunt until I'm sure she can live her normal life." When Dean stated that, Sam really thought he was joking. But after a few days he started to believe it. Dean truly would do anything to keep her alive. From cooking vegetables to laughing at his own dad jokes in front of Y/n to make her smile. That was when Sam started to feel that they can be more than a random hunter/rescued victim relationship! It felt like his brother had finally found his motivation in life: "Saving Y/n."

Gradually Y/n started to respond to this special attention from Dean with trust and smiles. Soon they became a power couple that could motivate each other so easily that sometimes Charlie would call them out. And honestly Sam had no problem with it. In fact Y/n had become his other sister.

"My God, Dean! You're burning up!" It was two day after a werewolf hunt in which Dean had got hurt. At first it was just some scratches on his arms and chest. Yet as the time passed, more symptoms started to appear: headache, pain, fever, cold sweat, even nose bleeding and before they could figure it out, Dean fell unconscious. Apparently the claws of the werewolf were poisonous. However Sam wasn't sure. The only thing he got no doubts about was the fact that it was already too late. Dean couldn't make it to the hospital. So either Sam had to do anything possible to save him or Cas should've picked up his God damn phone.

"No. no, no, no, no. Dean … Dean!!!"

That was when Sam got to hear Y/n's helpless cry and see her true feelings. She was already in love with his brother.

Luckily, unlike typical love stories; no one died that night. Sam's antidote worked. And Dean opened his eyes an hour later.

"Sammy … Y/n?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Y/n grabbed his face and put her thirsty lips on her beloved hunter's, letting the tears stream down on her face… and then his.

"Never do that again." She begged, breaking the kiss, her trembling hands holding Dean's face so she could look into his eyes.

Sam couldn't stop his smile remembering how cute they were. Y/n literally had Dean wrapped around her little finger, to the point he accepted to teach her how to hunt and soon she was part of their team too. Until … a few months ago. After two years of them being constantly close to each other, Sam could tell something was off when Dean started to go out without eating breakfast with Y/n. Of course she got suspicious after the third time and that was when their endless arguments started.

"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"

"Because nothing is wrong, Y/n."

Actually there was. Something was VERY wrong. Anyone could tell that just by the change in Dean's eyes whenever he wanted to look at Y/n. Day by day he was getting more quiet and cold. Now they didn't even eat pie together or watch movies late at night. And Sam couldn't ignore his brother being grumpy or drunk on hunts, not anymore.

"Ok man, I've had enough. You either tell me what's wrong with you or next time I won't make any excuses so you can leave Y/n out of our hunt plans. I'm serious, Dean, I'll tell her the truth." He finally said, when they were alone in the impala, on their way to do their next hunt.

"She wants more."

"More?"

"Yeah. Sometimes it's like she sees more in me. She thinks we can have a different life. There's no need for any saying, I can see it in her eyes whenever we accidentally come across some family at a diner that try to feed their kids or people's wedding photos whenever we go to talk with some witnesses or whoever during the research! Sometimes she even looks up wedding dresses or kid stuff on the net!" Dean blew his anger out of his nostrils and sighed, shaking his head.

"Wow." Sam couldn't find the proper word to say but he couldn't hide his surprised face either.

"What?" Dean gave him an annoyed look.

"I mean …" Sam chuckled. "… are you telling me you're actually angry with her for imagining the things you always dream about?!"

"Sam …"

"No, really. I'm just curious. What's wrong with you, man?" Sam asked genuinely, waiting for an answer.

"What's wrong with me?! You think something is wrong with me just because I'm the rational one in this relationship; who's actually able to see the difference between a dream and the reality?"

Yeah, anyone could take that earnest speech, but not Sam. He'd seen and knew enough about his brother.

"What's the reality? Aren't you and Y/N living that dream life already?"

"What?! No. No … that's not the same." Dean shook his head.

"Really? How is it not? It's been two years, Dean. You two are constantly with and/or around each other. Always worried when the other one is in trouble and still looking at one another like there is nothing in the world that can make you happy as much as this relationship. So … excuse me if I won't buy your pretty speech; man ." Sam said, Rolling his eyes.

"Ok, let's say you're right but ... is it gonna be like that forever? With all the supernatural crap that we have to take care of … and the constant danger and chaos in this hunter life we have… I …"

"You what?" Sam asked when Dean didn't finish his sentence. He was lost in his thoughts, staring at this unknown point in the depth of the road. Finally he blew out his despair.

"I just can't let her fall for the things I know I can't provide for her. It's not fair, Sammy. It's not fair to lock her up in this dark life with me just because she loves me … especially while I know there is a whole bright future out there waiting for her."

"Here we go, the old Dean's self-doubt" Sam thought to himself as he took a deep breath before finding the best words to wake his brother up from this nightmare

"Yeah, I know but I don't think it's your call. If Y/n wants to go to hell with you instead of living in heaven with someone else, it's her choice. Not your responsibility. Right?"

Dean shook his head while his lips curved up a little to fake a smile but he never answered or said anything about that conversation ever again. He kept his silence for like three weeks … until someone new showed up: "Gary Smith". A tall man with the most stylish haircut and the most perfect teeth and smile.

They saw him for the first time at their hangout bar, as the new bartender who almost jumped in Y/n's way as soon as they entered the bar.

"Oh my God, bunny! Is this really you?" He said, pulling her in his embrace. Like she was the long time missing piece of his beloved puzzle!

"Bonny? You're wrong. Her name is Y/n." Dean said, pretty annoyed by the way Gary tightened his arms around Y/n's little shoulders, making him chuckle.

"No, uh … it's just a nickname." Y/n said as soon as the guy let her go.

"Yeah, actually the most fitting nickname that I could think of. I mean … you have to agree. She got the most cute little ears in the world." The guy explained, chuckling and pulling on her little star earring. Well, if Sam wanted to be honest, he had to agree with him. He never paid any attention to it before but now that Gary mentioned it, he could tell Y/n's ears were truly small.

"I see … So … I guess this means you were close friends?" Dean said, already hating the way Y/n e's blushed with hearing her old nickname.

"Uh … well, no. Actually more than that." The guy grinned, ruffling his own hair while he was awkwardly laughing and looking at Y/n. Just like a proud embarrassed teen!

"We used to date." Y/n said.

*oh* Sam tried his best not to let that stupid grin sit on his lips but Dean's frown and his sudden heavy silence didn't let him do so.

"Yeah. We are kinda each other's first. Like … you know? prom date." The man added, giving Y/n a wink while Dean's gaze was still locked on his large arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah. It's been years, Gary."

"I know. But believe me, bunny. you still look the same." He said, bending to put a kiss on her right cheek.

Dean would kill him. Sam just knew that. Because his brother's eyes were already burning with jealousy.

"By the way, don't you wanna tell me who these gentlemen are ?" The guy asked Y/n, giving her his softest smile.

"Of course. This is Sam and this is Dean. My colleagues who are my friends now. I live in their place."

After they met, everything got even more complicated. Y/n, the girl who was still trying to get old-happy-days Dean back suddenly stopped whatever she used to do. No more complains, no waiting at nights to see Dean before going to bed, no more effort to get involved in hunts, no nothing. And despite what Dean had claimed before, it was making Dean even more frustrated. Day to day he and Y/n were getting colder towards each other and there was nothing he could do to fix it. That was what made him even more furious. Sam already knew all of that and he still had to live with both of those grumpy faces. So last night when they began to fight, he could see this was coming: Y/n left the bunker after Dean let some hurtful things out of his mouth, just because he didn't know how to deal with all the heartache anymore. He now was convinced that Y/n didn't love him anymore. Yet the next day after drinking whatever strong drink they had, he begged Sam to come with him. Apparently Jodie texted Dean about Y/n being in her place for that night. Just to make sure that her crazy step son won't sell his soul over a tracking spell! So Dean almost begged his brother to be there with him, cause Dean believed that as much as Y/n didn't care about him, she still respected Sam and cared about him. Like a little sister and her elder brother.

So here they were, In Jodie's living room, in front of her and Y/n.

"Considering your sleepy eyes, I think we caught you at bed time, huh?" Sam asked, checking Y/n's obvious eye bags.

"Who says that? I'm totally good, Sam."

She said with a small smile, looking much more in control and stronger than before. So Sam knew it was a lie. Y/n Just had made her peace with what had happened last night. The realization۹ kicked Dean in the gut. Y/n always used to be stronger and bolder when she got hurt.

"I'm gonna make some coffee for us. Why don't you guys take a seat till I come back?"

Jodie interrupted, to ease the heavy and sharp silence that suddenly had fallen over all of them.

Y/n gave her a smile.

"Of course."

It was so fake. Her smile didn't even curl her lips completely. She was still badly hurting.

Sam swore in his head when he looked over his brother who sank silently into the nearest seat at the end of the table like a broken shell that he was too . One of Dean's hands was in the pocket of his jacket, the other formed a fist on the table. Sam was sure Dean knew it too. He knew everything was almost past saving. "Almost". Sam tried to stick to their small chance.

"So …" He cleared his voice before he put some (semi fake) hope into his words."You're … you're gonna come back home today or did Alex and Claire made you promise them otherwise?" He laughed and tried to make it funny but the truth was he asked this for Dean's sake, knowing he already was struggling to find the words … to let Y/n know how much he wanted her back … to ask her to come back.

"To be honest … I don't think I can live in the bunker anymore." Y/n said and as Dean's head snapped up to look at her in horror, she raised her hand to stop his (likely) protests.

"I applied for a job 3 weeks ago and to my surprise they called me this morning to tell me I'd actually got it."

*What?*

No one had to ask it. The question was already hung in the air. She snored mockingly in her nose. "Perfect timing, right?"

She moved her gaze from her interlocked fingers on the table to Dean's eyes.

He didn't answer, he didn't move but he got tense. Still staring back at Y/n.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Sam asked, once again saving Dean from asking the question he was itching to ask with some other words that for sure couldn't be nice.

"I wanted to but I didn't think I could actually get it and even if I did, I never figured out how to tell you. Besides, I never considered the "move out" option before..." She looked at Sam for a second before she turned her gaze on Dean. "... But I actually appreciate that you bring it up. I think now I can take the advice. I'm gonna move on."

Sam's heart dropped in his stomach when he heard those words. Because he knew what this meant. It felt something like having to watch Dean get stabbed in the heart.

"Is this … because of that Bartender?" Dean asked, staring deadly at Y/n with his bloodshot eyes. He was already chewing on his bottom lip. And Sam knew a heavy storm was on its way to hit them.

"I don't want to answer that question."

*shit*

"Why? Because you can't just simply say no?" Dean scolded and Sam could see how it pushed on Y/n boundaries.

"No. Because it's not your fucking business and it's not Gary's business either. But at least he knows his limits."

*well, fuck*

"By "limits" you mean when he drools on you just because for God knows whatever the reason, you started to wear leather jackets when we go there?"

"WHAT?!"

*Oh, fuck* Sam thought to himself, watching Y/n rise from her seat.

"You think … you really think that I …" she laughed nervously and Sam could tell she would punch Dean in the face if she wasn't a sweet, super nice person.

"How you can even …"

"I can even what, Y/n? Are we now going to pretend like I'm a blind man who can't see how you got attracted to your ex again? Did you really think I couldn't see how your hands were shaking when his filthy face lighted up by seeing you for the first time after all these years?"

Sam wanted to interrupt him or at least leave the room but everything was happening so fast.

"So what? Why and since when you care about my private life?"

"Since you stopped drinking bunker's beers just because you rather drink those crappy poisonous cocktails he makes at the bar!"

Dean was on his feet now as well. And despite his will, Sam couldn't stop his smile. He never saw his brother this jealous before. It was fun.

"Poisonous? … You … of all people, you are the one who says this? cause as much as I know, you're the one who puts dormitives in my guest's food so the poor guy gets tired and can't spend his time with me!"

"Yeah, because your poor guy is not welcomed in MY PLACE!" Dean yelled, punching the table with so much power that made everyone almost jump out of their skins.

"Dean!" Finally Sam interrupted but as soon as he stood up, someone rang the doorbell and Sam could hear Jodie welcoming someone inside.

"Guys … I know it's not my place to interfere but you two really need to sort things out somewhere private … of course that's when both of you can be much calmer than this."

"No, we have nothing to say or to talk about, anymore. Your brother was clear enough when he said he wants me to move out, so I'll move out. And that's it."

Y/n declared, looking at Sam to resist any eye contact with Dean, probably to make him even more crazy.

"And that's it? You wanna ignore that part where you were too eager and ready to accept that suggestion and leave the bunker instantly like your pants were on fire?!"

Dean retorted while Y/n was shaking her head like she couldn't believe him.

"Whose pants are on fire?" Jodie interrupted as soon as she re-entered the room with the coffees she'd made, this time a man was with her. Y/n's guy. The famous bartender.

*Oh, No!*

Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a second so the guy couldn't read his face.

"Obviously not mine." Dean hissed through his teeth, looking first at the guy and then at Y/n with such a disappointment and rage that no one could ignore.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The guy asked, choosing the worst spot to stand on: right next to Y/n.

"My typical life I guess. Nothing's new." She mumbled in reply to him but her eyes were still on Dean.

"No, nothing is wrong with your life, Y/n. It's about your choices. That's what's wrong with you. As always." Dean said bitterly. As sharp as a knife, as cold as ice. Sam could see how it drained color from Y/n's face.

"You better watch your mouth, buddy." The Gary guy warned Dean and Sam could tell that if it wasn't for the sudden thud sound that stole everyone's attention, Dean would throw a fight right there. But …

"Y/n!" Jodie almost screamed. Y/n was laying on the floor, seemingly unconscious.

"Oh, God." Sam said as Jodie rushed to her.

"Y/n? … Y/n can you hear me?"

As she sat next to her, Gary's fingers already were on Y/n's carotid pulse point. So Sam couldn't stop himself from looking up at his brother, who was still standing where he was. In shock.

"Oh, shit!" Gary's worried voice made Sam check Y/n's pale face again but Jodie was the one to dare ask the question which was on everyone's minds.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Her pulse ... too faint." He said before turning to Dean: "Is she bleeding?"

"Bleeding?" Dean blinked and mumbled in confusion.

If it was up to Sam, he'd ask *What bleeding?* & *Why are you asking this from my brother?*

"Oh my. You still don't know. Do you?" Gary sneered.

"Know what? What's happening?" Jodie was freaking out now and Sam actually felt the same. He didn't like the way this stranger pretended like he knew her better than them. However what happened next was much more unexpected. And … rude!

To everyone's surprise, the guy reached out to Y/n's jeans and drew his hand between her legs but before anyone could react, he spread her legs open so it could be possible for everyone to see that big red stain there. Then he raised his hand. It was all wet and red in blood!

"She's having a miscarriage." He revealed.

Sam's gaze instantly caught Dean's ... Burning. Dean was burning inside with his heavy silence.

"Don't you worry. It's not mine." Gary added more fuel to that hell with such a mocking tone, staring right back at Dean's eyes.

Now Sam could feel it. The storm was there: rising in his brother's roar!

Before Sam could've moved any muscles, Gary was already pinned to the wall, Dean's hands on his now-ripped-out collar.

"Dean, no!" Sam jumped in, trying to catch his brother's arm before his fist make any contact with the guy's nose but all he could do was changing the direction of the punch which landed on Gary's shoulder, making a painful cracking sound.

"I said no … Dean, stop it." Sam had to literally cage Dean in his arms so the furious man couldn't tear Gary apart.

"Get off me, Sam. This son of a bitch has to learn his place."

"Enough!" As Dean just broke himself free, Jodie's scream stopped everyone in their tracks.

"It's enough!" Jodie warned all three men, pointing at them one by one.

"You want to fight? Not here. Not in my house!"

"But ..."

As soon as Dean opened his mouth to protest, Jodie cut him:

"And you … you should know Y/n is pregnant with your twins. So … you'll be a responsible man who will try his best to save them or you can get the hell out of here and never come back!"

"What?" Sam was too shocked to suppress his reaction while Dean couldn't even find any words to say. His confused look darted between Jodie's face and Y/n's figure while his parted lips kept moving without making any noise, just like a dying fish on the shore!

"I promised her not to tell anyone but it was a promise under normal conditions, not this." Jodie sighed, struggling to keep her emotions under control. Sam saw the worry in her frown. Like a real mother, worried for her children. However it was nothing in comparison to his brother's blank eyes and pale face.

"Dean, It's ok. We just need to take her to hospital. … it's ok, man. I promise."

He had to grab Dean by his jacket, as his brother was struggling to process all of these in his head.

"Come on, man. We got no time. Do I need to do this alone or you'll …"

"Get the car, Sammy."

It was just a simple sentence. Yet it had enough power to make Sam's heart sank. Since Dean had put the car keys in his hand saying that, Sam couldn't stop thinking about that tone. Dean never had called Baby a "car" In years. And Sam had never heard that crack in his voice since their Dad's death.

"You ok?" He finally let himself ask, two hours after they arrived at the hospital.

"I want to be." Dean closed his eyes and put his head against the cold wall, letting the dim light to darken the shadows under his eyes.

"I'm sure she'll be good. She's strong, Dean. You know that."

He smiled and Sam looked away not to watch him. He knew that smile. Dean used to give him that, whenever everything was gone so wrong that Dean couldn't promise him anything good. Like when both of them were still kids. Hungry, cold and all alone in a rusty motel room where John had left them on their own for a one day long hunt but then a heavy snow had crashed the roads and kept them apart for half a week. So Dean had to wash the dishes and do the laundry in the motel to rent the room for another day and provide some snacks so they wouldn't starve to death. But after three days, the hotel managers didn't want them to be around. And Sam could vividly remember that smile on his brother's face when he asked: *Where should we go then?*

"You were always such a father material. You know?"

Sam admitted with a broken smile on his face.

"You were always responsible, kind and caring with me as a kid. And I can't imagine anyone who deserves to be a father more than you."

Dean took a deep breath and opened his eyes without looking at him: "But I don't want ... I really can't, Sammy."

All, it certainly wasn't the response Sam had expected. He used to believe that Dean would never turn down any chance to start a family with Y/n. Especially after everything in the world was back to normal.

"Are you kidding me? You always wanted this."

"No …" Dean finally turned his gaze to meet his brother's confused eyes. "No, Sammy. Not like this. I don't want to raise another kid without his mom. I'm not that strong anymore."

Dang. Once again Sam's heart dropped in his stomach. Dean was really helpless.

"Mr. Winchester?"

Dean was on his feet as Sam just realized the doctor's presence.

"It's me."

Sam prayed for any good news as doctor took a glance of Dean and fixed his glasses on his face …

"To be continued …"

READ CHAPTER 2 HERE

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The next and also ultimate chapter will post on Sunday, April 25. Thanks for reading.

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