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#I'd vent abt it on the servers I do trust
planetsnakes · 11 months
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This is going to seem very weird but, I think I'm a part of a system, there's certainly people living inside my head and they take over and it's gotten terribly inconvenient sometimes. I'm in no place to get a diagnosis of any sort so I've just been ignoring them while looking at communities online? Is there anything in general that you think would help me out in this situation and come to terms with the possibility of me being a system? I've seen you on this hashtag a bit recently so I decided to shoot you an ask, hope it's not a bother.
It's fine to reach out but the first thing you need to understand is that the internet isn't always right, take literally everything with a grain of salt everything is advice and there are very few absolutes.
From understanding that I reccomend reaching out to your system. Here's a video on communicating with alters. Note: This didn't work with us but I later found out our gatekeeper wasn't letting anyone so it not working isn't a definate they dont exist/ don't want to talk to you. Also I don't agree with everything they have to say but 90% of the time I find their channel helpful and that's kind of what matters. if you don't like them watch someone else there are plenty of system youtubers. Communicating with alters is kind of important for figuring out what's going on and making everyone feel included. We've also had less anxiety and depressiony feelings since starting.
I'd also set up your own discord server where you can play around with pluralkit. Pluralkit has has a massive impact on our identies being able to have a place of external expression, a thing that's individual to each alter. It just feels nice. Then join a system friendly server, just somewhere you can chat using pluralkit, see if it feels right.
Here's a template server (the link will expire in 7 days) I'm in that has a lot of systems in it. It's not system based but no one's going to bat an eyelid if you're using pluralkit. There are also a lot of new members coming in for that anonymity and a fairly active chat.
Only do what feels right. It may be inconvenient, it may be scary but only do it if it feels right. If it feels like you're forcing yourself or wrong then just don't. Figuring out if you're a system and being a system is just difficult, often it's hard to tell what you're doing so just, do what feels right.
Talk to people you trust. having a singlet friend who's on this journey with you where you can explore your boundaries in a safe envormet and get the support you need (like a hug and someone to vent to) is important. I didn't do this one I moved away and then just introduced myself as a system and no one cared bc people care abt a lot less irl.
I hope that helps! This is based off personal experiance and not expertise. I really hope you do seek out expert help but I get that it isn't always an option. Just know, this stuff only worked for us with therapy. I don't know how it works without therapy, just be careful and stay safe out there.
Clinic for Dissociative Studies (situated in the UK) specalise in free treatment for people with dissocative disorders. I realise the internet spreads accross the world but hopefully this is helpful.
Again I'm not an expert. This is just what worked for us.
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izzy-b-hands · 4 years
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There’s one server I’ve spent basically no time in on Discord, and tbh I think I might just leave it after tonight
Something was discussed that just finally irked me too much and god it’s dumb to vent post abt it here like this but my brain is on FIRE over it 
and I don’t know anyone on there aside from general things abt them but I do know enough to know they don’t get to be deciding things re: queer men (aka they aren’t a part of that demographic), and as a queer man, seeing that going on? 
just fucking makes me seethe. I’ve already been ignored as trans and called a lesbian in it (I’m a proud gay trans man-aka I’m only into other trans dudes or cis dudes-and I don’t hide that, but apparently it doesn’t matter) 
the only blessed thing is that as far as I know, no one that I talk to on the other servers like DL or K Company or on tumblr is on it, so at least I won’t lose contact w/anyone I actually like talking to by leaving it
that’s what I get for searching out additional servers w/out having them be recommended by ppl I trust lmao
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polyamorouspunk · 2 years
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I'm gonna gently leave a tiny vent here in your inbox bc I feel like I need to scream into a void but also a void feels too empty so screaming into someone cool's inbox might satisfy those feelings??
Anyways. I recently decided to go on a break with one of my partners. We're no longer treating each other like romantic partners, bc of a lot of reasons, but mainly bc for a bulk of our relationship we were unhealthily dependent on each other after a mutual friend manipulated him into cheating on me(she lied to him abt what qpr meant and told me off for trying to correct her[this might sound familiar bc I cried abt this multiple times in your old server and if it does and you know who this anon is, hi I'm too nervous to go off anon but hello])
And for me this break has been... A great decision, actually. I don't feel forced to love him when I was having a really hard time doing so due to his jealousy towards my newest partner and his needs not lining up well with my own. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, and my other two partners have been great support in getting me through the complicated feelings coming from this.
Now we're calling it a break bc like... The plan is to see if I can fall back in love with him but. I don't think I should. I think things were too bad for too long and I can't keep trying to be responsible for his feelings and his problems. So I might just... Cut it off at some point. Maybe when he's done with school this semester cuz I do not want to add to that stress hooboy
This all got away from my initial reason for coming in here to yell but that's fine
Anyways uh... I'm mad at myself for connecting so much of my creativity and original story to him. I told myself after an ex years and years ago that I'd never do that again bc it soured the story for me. But I did it again. And for fucks sake my own comfort character is in that story and I made this guy the voice actor for that character???? Like how fucking stupid was I for doing that again!
And like, yeah, I know I couldn't have predicted any of the bad shit that happened. I couldn't see any red flags from him until the dependency started and I felt like I needed him or else I'd want to die. So I shouldn't be too harsh on myself for trusting him with something so precious to me but EVEN SO
I'm upset!! Aaaaa!!!! AAAAA!!!!!!
That sucks.
My ex and I (who by the way we still talk like every day and we’re still chill, those of you in the server know he was a mod there and stuff so you know who he is) started dating through a fanfic but I ended up dealing with the toxic parts of our relationship through my writing it leaving it to be a very sore spot for him which is why we never finished and I do feel bad about that.
I support your decision to not get back together.
I swear to god everyone is having a rough time with polyamory right now and it’s breaking my heart but I’m so glad that you have two other supportive partners.
It super pisses me off when I hear shitty manipulative polyam stories. Like god this is why it’s so much pressure for the rest of us and we get a bad rep.
Anyway so much love to anyone out there who has or is currently dealing with bad relationships, myself included.
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