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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

⋆⋆✵ Perfect Imperfections ✵⋆⋆

Chapter 1

Genre : Arranged Marriage AU! Angst! Explicit Sexual Content.

Rating : 21+

Warnings : Ableism , Chronic disability. OC has limited use of her left leg, Emotional infidelity? Mild Cheating ( nothing very physical.. a kiss or so )

Summary : Marrying Jungkook is a mistake. Falling in love with him? Definitely the worst exercise in masochism .

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2

No one tells you how easy it is to imagine yourself in love with a beautiful man. Especially when you don’t have a clear understanding of what love actually is.

When I met Jungkook, even knowing he was in love with my sister hadn’t done much to douse the flames of hope and attraction. He was a lot of things that other men in my life weren’t. Kind without being pitying. Concerned without being overbearing. He took care of me without making me feel helpless. And there was always such a thin line between these things that I found myself impressed by his ability to toe the line so well.

Jungkook took care of me without making me feel like a burden and I suppose, some part of me had assumed that this could, in due time turn into love. But I was clearly wrong.

Jungkook and Liza had been kissing in the hallway of their hotel room and someone had taken pictures. My father and his had managed to get them taken down but the news was already out, spreading like wildfire . My phone began ringing sometime around eight in the morning and hadn’t stopped. It was now a little past one in the afternoon and I felt queasy, despite the assurances that it was all being taken care of.

It was the pity in everyone’s face that I couldn’t bear.

I wasn’t hurt. Angry, yes? Upset? Of course. But I wasn’t hurt because there really was nothing to be hurt about. Jungkook didn’t love me. He was in love with my sister . He had made it clear, through his words and his actions, over and over again. At this point, I could see this debacle as nothing more than a possible way to get out of the marriage. Perhaps, my father would approve of a divorce?

I glanced at the article again.

The photo is just so annoyingly clear, I thought with a grimace. If it was a little blurry, I could convince myself it wasn’t him and her. But it was clear. That was my husband with his lips locked with my sister’s. Against my better judgment, I read the article again. It was a gossip column, of course there would be nothing good in there. But sometimes curiosity can be a persistent thing.

I felt my skin crawling as I realized that the phrases were all pretty true. There was no gossip here. Just plain facts.

And then my eyes reached the end of the article.

Of note is the fact that Jeon Jungkook’s wife is disabled and perhaps the virile young man is merely looking for pleasure he can’t find in his own marital bed.

I swallowed, quickly exiting the page and tossing the phone on the bed, away from me. I stared out of the window of our bedroom, the large doors left open to let air and sunlight in. There was a tall sycamore tree right outside out bedroom and the branches almost reached in and I stared at the rustling leaves, trying to scrub my mind clean of the words I’d just read.

But it was impossible.

It wasn’t something I hadn’t thought of. The stark difference between me and Jungkook, physically. He spent five days a week in the gym and they were right. He was a young man with healthy sexual appetites.

I’d never cheat on you. Jungkook’s voice from a week ago still echoed somewhere inside my skull.

I sighed, playing with my wedding ring.

I wasn’t a virgin when I married Jungkook. Hadn’t been one , when I got into the accident either. My then boyfriend, a tall strapping lit major had been a very sexual guy as well and our libidos had matched pretty well. But I’d been an athletic nineteen year old, able to bend like a pretzel at his whim and there was just endless time and endless stamina and just a whole lot of attraction . We had spent hours, exploring each other the way college kids do. Weekends in bed spent trying every possible permutation of sex positions and kinks and I’d discovered all the things I liked. All the things I didn’t.

But then the accident had happened and well, when you’re in crippling agony, sometimes sex takes the backseat. I’d been focused on my recovery, on making sure that I came out of this at least with the ability to walk and I’d succeeded. Burying the part of me that craved a man’s touch, it wasn’t easy but it was necessary.

And then Jungkook had happened.

Sex with Jungkook hadn’t been difficult. Not really. I wasn’t completely crippled after all but it was also nowhere near as exciting as it could be with someone who had full use of her legs. I knew that. It was kind of obvious. But I hadn’t dwelt too much on it because to be honest, Jungkook hadn’t looked like he’d minded. He had seemed to enjoy himself .

But then reading about how he probably hadn’t enjoyed it definitely stung.

Worse yet, probably half the country was reading it with me. I felt nauseous. Did no one think that they should have left the last part out of that article? It was terrible enough without adding that bit about me.

A faint buzzing made me turn to the bed.

I glanced at my phone as it rang, my father in law’s name prominent on the screen.

Showtime, I thought with a grimace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I suppose it was too much to hope for , expecting that boy to keep his dignity. This is outrageous.” Mr. Jeon’s loud voice rang through the foyer of the house and I flinched, gripping the edge of the futon as Sana jumped a bit . She sat next to me, holding my hand carefully. Moral support I supposed but I was feeling entirely too blasé about the whole thing. None of this was unexpected, I thought miserably and I wasn’t feeling up to pretending otherwise.

“I still wish they’d talked to me about this.”

My brother in law’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. The man looked like he’d been dragged through hell and back and I felt a pang of genuine sympathy. He looked wrecked and it was obvious she was in love with my sister. Resentment coiled thick and deep inside me. Resentment and envy.

With no effort at all she had charmed both the Jeon brothers, I thought bitterly.

Jeon Jihyun looked absolutely stricken at the thought of losing his wife.

“I’ve asked Lisa to take the first flight out. She called me this morning, hysterical. It was something done in the heat of the moment. She .. She’s very apologetic. I believe her and I’m willing to forgive her. We’re…. We’re thinking of starting a family together. ” He said softly and my stomach turned.

I felt my skin go ice cold as I wrapped my arms around myself. Shivering just a bit, I lightly squeezed Sana’s hand. She looked at me in askance and I had to swallow to get my voice out, throat dry. The words made me want to retch. I could imagine how Jungkook would take this news.

“Can you get me my shawl? It’s in the green room.” I said hoarsely. She bowed before moving away from me and when I looked back up, Jihyun’s gaze caught mine.

“This must be hard on you.” He said softly and I flushed, staring down at my knees.

“Not like I can run from it. Literally or figuratively.” I smiled without mirth.

“Jungkook is …he’s just confused. He needs some time to sort himself out. I’ve asked him to take a break and come back to Seoul after a couple of weeks. The separation would do him some good.” Jihyun said quietly and I sighed before nodding. What else was I supposed to say to that anyway? There wasn’t much I could do, my influence on things almost nonexistent at this point.

“Are you going to give the boy a break, Jeon?” My father demanded, staring at Jungkook’s father who sighed.

“Yes. I’ve been trying to get these damned reporters off our back. They’re all over the place. And yes, I think Jungkook should stay in Japan for a while. We’re starting a new distribution branch there and I wanted him to scout places and possible vendors. I’ll tell him to hash out all the details before coming back.”

His phone rang again and he excused himself . I watched him leave the room, trying to make sense of his words.

How long would it take to build a whole branch in Japan? I had no clue. But it could hardly be done in a few weeks, could it?

“That’s.. That’s a long time.” I said hesitantly and my father frowned.

“is that a problem?” he asked.

I sighed. There was no point keeping this to myself. I was supposed to go to the doctor’s tomorrow. And well, it would be better if they heard it from me first.

“I.. I’m pregnant.” I said quietly.

The silence that followed was deafening. I stared at the carpet, not able to bring myself to look up at them. I could guess, what I’d find there. It was what I always found in people’s faces.

“Oh, sweet child.” My father’s sigh made me look up and there it was. The pity. I felt sick to my stomach. Sana returned, settling the hand knit shawl over my shoulders and I wrapped it tight, before glancing at her in some desperation. She smiled reassuringly, settling next to me and gently taking my fingers in hers. The warmth grounded me for a second and when Jihyun growled, I stared at him.

“I… I didn’t know. Fuck, I’m going to kill Jungkook. This fucker…” Jihyung swore and my father sighed, clearly thinking hard.

“you can’t be staying alone now.” He said softly, sitting up and cracking his knuckles, and I swallowed. I wouldn’t bear it if they tried to take me back home. I had hated it there.

“ You must come back home with me.” He said softly but I quickly shook my head.

“ No.. No I won’t. I … Please.” I begged, the mere idea of going back to my childhood home a nightmare. My mother would kill me with just her sharp and vindictive words. I was in no shape to put up with her verbal and emotional abuse. It was one of the things that had made me agree to marry Jungkook in the first place.

“Well, you can’t stay here by yourself.” My father protested. I’ve been by myself my whole damn life, I wanted to scream.

“I’ll be fine. I have Sana and the others to help me.” I said tiredly. My father shook his head before turning to Jihyun again.

“Is Namjoon still working on his book?” My father asked him and Jihyun frowned. The name elicited a tug in my memory and I turned to stare at my father, confused.

“You remember him? He used to tutor you when you were hi High School.”

I had a brief flashback to dimples and almond shaped eyes. I remembered him vaguely. Very vaguely. But nowhere well enough to want him to live with me, alone or not.

“Dad…” I protested but he held a hand up to silence me, nodding at Jihyun .

“Namjoon? Kim Namjoon? ” He shook his head. “ I’m not sure. Why?”

“I think it would be good if he moves in here. His father was telling me that he was looking for a place to stay, now that he’s moved back to Korea. ” My father said softly, staring at me and I stiffened.

“Father…” I began desperately and my father shook his head.

“Don’t argue. He was a dear friend of yours. I don’t think you should be alone at a time like this. And I think Jungkook would approve. Like Jihyun said, the kid needs some space to sort himself out. Let him finish whatever business is going on in Japan.” My father glanced at Mr. Jeon who looked at me with guilt.

“I owe you an apology , on behalf of my idiot son.”

I looked away, not sure what to say to that. I hated the man quite passionately. Jungkook wasn’t perfect… far from it. But this man had taken a sledgehammer to my husband’s mind and heart at every turn. The disdain, the condescension, the sick way he favored his brother over him, the way nothing Jungkook did was ever good enough. It had all taken a toll on my husband. I had watched it chip away at Jungkook’s self confidence, at his mental health.

“I think more than anything, you owe an apology to your son. You knew he was in love with Lisa and yet…. You forced him to marry me.” I said quietly and the room went eerily quiet. My father rounded on me , eyes blazing.

“Leah!!! Apologize, now!” He roared and I looked away.

“You’re all the same. Ungrateful and entitled.” Mr. Jeon said sharply, before turning to his son. “ I’m leaving Jihyun-ah. Tell me when that wife of yours get home. I want to talk to her.”

He shared a half hug with my father before stalking off and my father grabbed his jacket as well.

“I’ll leave as well. Your mother is being quite hysterical. Apparently, all her friends are hounding her about the article.” He sighed and I nodded , watching him shrug on the jacket before nodding at Jihyun and then following his friend out to the front doors.

Jihyun stayed standing , watching my father’s form disappear through the door before turning to me.

“ Are you alright?” He said quietly, moving to kneel in front of me. Sana stood up, bowing before leaving and I watched her disappear into the hallway leading to the kitchens. Jihyun’s fingers wrapped around mine, brushing my knees and I stared down at him.

“The question is, are you alright?” I brushed the hair off his face. He sighed.

“No. No I’m not. I’m angry and jealous and very much filled with resentment towards my brother.” He said honestly and I laughed, tugging on his hand and patting the seat next to me. He straightened before moving to settle next to me and I leaned on his shoulders, sighing as he wrapped on around me, the warmth of his body comforting .

“Are you going to give your marriage a chance?” I asked carefully.

“She told me she was going to break things off for good. We.. We’ve been talking about it. Starting a family, making this work.” He said quietly. I nodded. It was understandable. Unlike Jungkook and I , Jihyun had a responsibility. He would need a son and even though people liked to act like they didn’t care much about gender, like they didn’t care much about having children , it was sort of an unspoken rule. First son of the house ? You had to have a male heir to carry the family name.

I wondered how that conversation had gone between Jungkook and Lisa. It didn’t really match the photo I’d seen.

“I suppose Jungkook probably put up a fight. He genuinely wants to end up with her. He… He tells me often that he loves her and can’t love anyone else. ” I wondered if I ought to feel embarrassed or insulted.

But the truth was, I was numb to a lot of things that had once hurt quite a lot..

The conversation with Jungkook about my pregnancy had definitely cleared things up for me. There was nothing there worth salvaging. Chasing something that wasn’t real , that was foolishness. Especially when I had a very real baby to think about. A child that counted on me to make the right choices.

“I don’t think he did. She spoke to me last night and said that he agreed. Of course that was before the article came out. I’d like to think she didn’t lie to me but I’m not sure.”

I sighed, settling in closer to his chest. He was warm and firm, solid and reliable. I wondered if it would have been easier, if my father had just married me off to Jihyun instead. Jihyun and I …we were alike. We had been friends , even from childhood. Had watched with fond adoration as our younger siblings had fallen madly, wildly in love. Jungkook and Liza had been drawn to each other from the first. Inevitable.

Jihyun and I were more carefree. We didn’t feel things that intensely and perhaps that was why we could sit here in the calm of the afternoon air, quiet and introspective when we ought to be furious and raging.

“ Should we run off together? You and i?” He said suddenly making me laugh.

“Very much incapable of running.” I reminded him with a grin and he squeezed my shoulder .

“I’d carry you.” He said simply.

“Where would we go?” I asked curiously, indulging the fantasy for just a few minutes.

“Somewhere far away. Maybe India? There’s so many people there and we could get lost in the crowds.”

“That does sound appealing.” I smiled and turned to look up at him. His face inches from mine, not as handsome as Jungkook but strong featured and kind. “ But I’m not alone anymore. I have a child.”

His gaze dipped to my lap.

“Yes. Jungkook’s child.” He said thoughtfully.

“No. Mine. Nobody else’s . Just mine.” I said quietly. Jihyun’s gaze softened. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of my head.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, echoing his father’s words.” On behalf of my idiot brother, I’m sorry.”

And where Mr. Jeon’s words hadn’t made any sort of impact, Jihyun’s made my heart clench and ache in the worst way. Self pity was something I loathed but sometimes, being handed the short end of the stick at every turn in life makes it impossible to not feel sorry for yourself.

Tears stung, welling up in my eyes and spilling over my lashes like water bubbling out of an aquifer.

I blinked slowly, not bothering to wipe them as they traced a path down my face, dripping into the fabric of my shawl. In a moment of clarity I wondered what Jungkook must be going through now. Nothing good for sure.

It definitely said something, that I still worried for him. Sighing, I let Jihyun hug me closer. I would take advantage of his kindness for a few more minutes. It had been a while since someone had held me like I mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I called Jungkook that evening.

It wasn’t an easy choice but my heart ached and my mind raced with unanswered questions. I didn’t want to get lost in my own thoughts so I didn’t overthink it. We were still married. I was allowed to call him.

He picked up on the third ring.

“Where are you?” I asked quietly and Jungkook’s groan made my face heat up a little.

“I… Leah?” He sounded groggy. I glanced at the time. It wasn’t late.

“Are you sleeping?”

He didn’t reply for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry about what happened. We.. We didn’t do anything else. It was just.. it was a kiss. Just that.”

“Are you still in the hotel?” I asked quietly ignoring his words.

“ For tonight, yes. Dad wants me to stay with a friend of his. I’ll be going over to their place tomorrow morning.” He replied .

Silence followed for a few seconds.

“Namjoon is moving in tomorrow.” I said stiffly.

Jungkook didn’t respond for a minute or so.

“Yes. Father said it’s a good idea. And I agree. You shouldn’t be alone while I’m here. He’s right. Hyung’s a nice guy. He’ll help you out.” Jungkook said softly.

“Liza came home. She wanted to talk to me.” I said quietly.

Jungkook didn’t reply and I sighed.

“I told her I wasn’t going to talk to her before I talked to you. I don’t… I don’t want to say anything to her that I haven’t already said before. But I still want to know your thoughts on all this. Your plans, that is. I take it you weren’t happy with her ending things.” I said stiltedly.

Jungkook didn’t reply for a few seconds.

“Things between us ended a long time ago, Leah. It was over when we both agreed to marry other people. Maybe even before that, I don’t know… I … I guess I just didn’t want to acknowledge them.” He said quietly. “ She’s different, now. Even that kiss felt so wrong. She’s moving on. I’m glad in a way. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone like hyung. He’s better than me in everyway and-”

God I wanted to strangle him.

“So why did you kiss her?” I snapped. “ If you’re so generously letting her go why would you…” I stopped.

“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me. It was barely for a second.” He muttered. “ whoever it was must’ve been videoing us for a while.”

I had to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, this little detail made no difference.

“Right.” I sighed. “ So, you won’t be home for a while?”

“Six weeks at least.” He said quietly.

I tried to keep the disappointment down. I still wanted to see him, just to make sure he was okay. But I knew that was just the pregnancy hormones talking.

“Okay.” I said simply.

“How are you? Did you go see the doctor?” He asked softly and the question surprised me. I was half sure he had forgotten.

“No, not yet. Maybe in a couple of days.” I scratched at a small stain on my skirt. Lime juice and baking soda, I thought absently. That should get the stain out.

“Its pretty late. You should go see the doctor, Leah. I.. I looked stuff up. They say you have to be on pre natal vitamins, folic acid and iron supplements and you have to have a balanced diet. I called Sana earlier and told her to speak to our doctor and get a diet chart for you. She said she’ll do it soon. So , please take care of yourself.”

Jungkook sounded entirely serious and as always my brain felt muddled, unable to process why he did the things he did. He had looked things up about the pregnancy and that implied some sort of interest, didn’t it? But ….. he had also kissed my sister so what was I supposed to do with this?

“I’ll call you.” I said shakily, drained. I was done for the day.

“Right.” He said softly. “ Namjoon hyung will be there tomorrow right? Should I talk to him? He could take you to the doctor.”

“No.. That’s fine. I’ll manage.” I said quickly.

“You’re sure?” There was genuine worry there.

“Yes.” I sighed.

“Alright.”

Silence again. I exhaled shakily.

“Should I hang up?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah. Good night. ” He breathed.

“Good night, Jungkook.”

Click.

I stared at the wall, gently lowering the phone and placing it on the bed next to me.

She deserves better than me, his voice echoed in my head.

Well, so did I.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Namjoon looked nothing like the twenty one year old college student I’d seen a decade ago. I knew he was a successful novelist and I’d read all his books. They were mostly philosophical or commentaries on life and emotions. I enjoyed the way he wrote : melancholic and deep but also clear and easy to understand. It was like staring at a particularly deep pool, being able to see all the way down to the bottom because of how clean the waters were. But once you put your feet in, the depth always surprised you.

“That’s a lot of books.” I laughed, gripping the edge of the door frame as I watched him stumble under the weight of a crate full of bound books. Namjoon’s messy brown hair peeked over the top, and when he adjusted the huge load to stare at me, I caught sight of his handsome face stretched in a dimpled grin, eyes glinting.

“Research.” He grunted, straightening himself up and I watched the flex of his muscles as he carefully moved to place the crate down in one corner of the large bedroom that I’d had cleaned for him. It was on the west wing of the house, parallel to my own bedroom that I shared with Jungkook . Namjoon had spent three years working as a professor somewhere in Indonesia. And I knew that he’d spent a year backpacking all over Scandinavia. I stared at his tall strapping figure, watching him set up his writing space carefully, sorting out boxes and electronics.

He had driven here in his Range Rover and I knew all his clothes were still there in the back of the car.

“Should I ask the footmen to get your clothes?” I asked and he glanced up at me, frowning.

“Footmen?” He looked confused and I rolled my eyes.

“Namjoon…” I said chidingly and he grinned again.

“I keep forgetting you’re filthy rich. Makes me wish I should have beaten Jungkook to the game and bagged myself a rich wife.” He winked. It was a joke but there was no mistaking the hint of interest in his eye. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. Being married to Jungkook had definitely made me question the attraction I held for men so it felt good, having someone as handsome and whole and successful as Namjoon look at me like that.

“I’ll ask them to get your clothes. You should shower and settle in. We’ll meet for dinner tonight.” I said quickly and he nodded.

“You’re going to be okay heading back to your room? Let me know if you need help.” He pointed at my feet and I nodded. It was sweet of him to offer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was surprisingly not awkward at all. Namjoon had a lot of interesting stories to share and I found myself clinging to ever word in rapt attention. He spoke about all the folklore he’d run into in different places, how he thought that no matter the culture, there were always some common things you could find in every one of them. He also talked a little about his next book, which he hadn’t named yet.

“It’s about second chances. Forgiving and moving on.” He said, taking another bite of his braised pork and moving to make another lettuce wrap.

“ Heavy stuff.” I said thoughtfully. “ Most of my writing is commercial. I just try to sell stuff to reluctant people. It’s not much but it keeps me occupied and it’s always nice to make money that you can call your own.”

“It’s because you don’t write for yourself. When you start writing for yourself, you can truly be who you are.” He said firmly and I nodded in agreement.

My writing in college had been vivid and bright and filled with life. But after the accident, it had turned grey and gloomy. The words seemed to drip with loss and longing and I didn’t enjoy it, because it was a reminder that I was no longer the vibrant, attractive fulsome girl I once was.

“Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.” I smiled. “ Being who I am. I would rather pretend I’m at least a little alright.”

Namjoon stared at me, thoughtful.

“You used to run track.” He said softly and I grinned.

“You remember.” I said, pleased.

“Of course I do and you were captain of the volleyball team as well. You used to organize all those hikes and treks and stuff.”

“Yes I did. I loved the outdoors.” I stared out of the window.

“Loved? Past tense?” He tilted his head. I stared at him, shaking my head.

“What kind of question is that.” I shook my head. “ Look at me. I’m not trekking anytime soon, considering how the last time ended.”

“You can still go out.” He frowned. “ When was the last time you went somewhere?”

I shook my head.

“Oppa…”

“Listen. You know me. You’ve known me for more than a decade. Do you honestly think I’m going to let you rattle around this old house like a ghost when you should be out there taking in all the sunshine you can get?” Namjoon placed his chopsticks down and linked his fingers together, staring at me.

I stared at him, and it was definitely there. The concern, the affection. Not that different from when I was sixteen and struggling to understand what pathos meant.

But now there was a definite undercurrent of attraction. Back then it had been childish, the wild crush of a teenager on her hot tutor but now, now I knew that he was so much more than just a hot guy.

“I’m pregnant.” I said softly, more a reminder to myself than anything else.

Namjoon grinned.

“We’ll steer clear of horse riding and alcohol. Anything else you can just let me know.”

“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“I think I’m getting one now.” I deadpanned.

“Because you’re nervous.” He grinned.

“Because your dimples look too adorable.” I retorted.

He laughed.

“I’ll talk to Jihyun and we’ll go see your doctor first. Then we’ll go out and have a nice picnic.”

“Namjoon, I can’t…”

“You don’t know that.” He said firmly.” You don’t know if you can or can’t because you’ve never tried. Listen I love picnics and I love going out and I want company. I’m agreeing to be stuck with you for a while and the least you can do is give me company at a picnic. You know how big a loser I’d seem like if I went by myself?”

It was like I was sixteen again getting brow beaten into things by a tutor who just hated the idea of not getting his way. I shook my head fondly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fourteen weeks. Three and a half months.

I stared at the ultrasound, feeling a multitude of things, not all of them good. The baby was growing well and I had all my prescriptions filled. Namjoon had offered to come with me but I had refused. It was too intimate and he was still a stranger. I did take a photo of the ultrasound and sent it to Jungkook.

/Jungkook called me back almost at once.

“You went to the doctor?” He asked, sounding a little breathless.

“Were you running?” I asked, surprised.

“Not really. I’m supposed to be meeting one of the vendors for lunch and I thought I could walk to the restaurant but its farther than I thought.” He huffed.

“Everything’s fine. Baby’s due in July.” I said quietly.

“Summer. That’s good.” He replied. “Right?”

I hesitated. What did that mean? What did it matter when the baby would be born?

“Because winter would mean it being too cold . Summer we can take the baby out and stuff without worrying too much.” Jungkook said softly.

Oh.

“How’s work?” I asked awkwardly. The non conversation was getting tedious. There was just so much to talk about and it was obvious that both of us weren’t in the mood to actually ask or answer anything worthwhile.

“Did dad say something?” Jungkook asked quickly and I frowned.

“No. Why?”

“He wants me to join hyung in the corporate office. Leave the smelter units.” Jungkook sounded subdued and upset and I felt sympathy well inside me.

“Join him? As what?” I asked quietly.

“Head of the marketing department. I’ll be reporting to Seokjin hyung.” Jungkook had clearly started walking again, breath coming in little exhales.

“You don’t want it?” I asked confused, not sure if this was a good or bad thing.

“I mean… I have a degree in Business and Finance. Hyung’s the CEO , I was hoping I’d be the CFO.” Jungkook sighed, “ But I suppose I should be grateful he didn’t disown me altogether after what happened earlier.”

I stayed quiet and so did he.

“We need to talk . When you get back. You … I know you don’t like sharing about what you feel but you owe me an explanation.” I said firmly.

“I know. But I meant what I said when I left. I’m going to be there for you and the baby. You’re still my wife. That’s not going to change.”

I ran my fingers over the ultrasound.

“Did you also mean the part where you said you can’t stand me.” I said bitterly .

Jungkook didn’t reply.

“I… You know I didn’t. That was just something I said on impulse. I’m sorry. You’re… You’ve been nothing but good to me. And honestly, just the fact that you’re carrying my child is proof that I can definitely stand you.” He sounded just a little hoarse.

I bit my lips, staring up at the door when I heard a knock.

“Leah? I’m going to have some tea in the garden … You wanna come with?” Namjoon’s voice rang through the room and I froze.

“Oh.. Oh.. yes. I’ll be down.” I said quickly, nodding . Namjoon pointed at the phone and gave to thumbs up before moving back out.

“Was that Namjoon hyung?” Jungkook’s voice came over the line.

“Oh… yeah. Yeah, he’s… he wants me to have tea with him in the gardens.” I said awkwardly.

“That’s nice. You should go. Get out of the house once in a while.” I didn’t know what to say to that so I stayed quiet.

After another minute or so of silence, Jungkook cleared his throat.

“ I got that form you sent in for me to fill, about my medical history. I’ll fill it up and mail it to the doctor’s office. Is that alright?” He asked hesitantly. “ If not I can fly back home. If they need me in person or something.”

I frowned a bit.

“They don’t need you in person, Jungkook of course not. Mail it, that’s fine.”

Another pause.

“This is really happening huh? A baby. We’re having a baby.” The exhaustion in his voice was palpable and I wondered.

“Yes. We are.” I said simply, not having anything else to elaborate on. It was happening. I was torn between pleasure at having something to look forward to and guilt at forcing Jungkook into a role he wasn’t ready for. But , for better or for worse we were married. The child was his. It would be a Jeon.

“ I’ll do better.” He said quietly. “ With the little one. I’ll be better.”

Tears these days, sprung up out of nowhere I thought miserably, furiously swiping at my face.

“Leah?” His voice came over the line. “ Leah are you there?”

“I need to go.”

“Alright.”

“Take care of yourself too, Jungkook.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loneliness .

It’s such an odd sort of feeling. Sometimes you get used to it so much, that you forget all about it.

It stays , a part of you that doesn’t make much of an impression on you until one day, suddenly it becomes unbearable,

Until you get a glimpse of what it’s like to not be lonely.

And then suddenly it’s like a deep chasm of longing and desperation just opens up inside you, craving love and warmth and company with a hunger that feels like it can never ever be satisfied.

I’d never paid much mind to the fact that my life revolved around myself, my writing and the flowers in the garden. Not until Namjoon had come, demanding to be felt and seen and heard .

Namjoon hadn’t joked about not letting me rattle around the house. Our days were spent sprawled on the lawns of the Jeon estate, each of us occupied with our own writing . Namjoon typed away on his laptop while I preferred my leather bound notebook. It was oddly soothing, lying there on the clean cut grass, the sharp blades rubbing against my bare legs, as I leaned back against a tree trunk, watching Namjoon’s furrowed brows as he wrote.

Namjoon had changed in a lot of ways and yet he was still somehow just as I remembered, focused and often lost in his own head. He was a contemplative man and seemed to spend as much time reading as he did writing.

“There’s a poetry club that meets every Tuesday in Gangnam. Would you like to come with me?” He asked casually, about a week after he’d moved in and I considered it. The paparazzi had finally stopped hanging about the estate and Jungkook had called the previous night with a ETA for when he would be back.

Four weeks at most, he had said firmly and I wasn’t sure if I was feeling all that excited for his return anymore. Days spent with Namjoon were more exciting. He included me in every little thing and I was addicted.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was probably wrong. Namjoon was sweet and kind but I was still married. But on the wake of that thought came the bitter reminder that there was nothing between Jungkook and I. He was in love with someone else. Why should I deny myself the joy of Namjoon’s company over a relationship that really wasn’t a relationship at all.

Namjoon treated me as an equal, teased and flirted like there was nothing wrong with the two of us living like this, together and away from the rest of the world and I liked it. It made me feel like perhaps happiness wasn’t such an abstract, unreachable thing after all. That perhaps I could find happiness like this. In friendship and mindless conversation with a man who didn’t see me as a burden.

“I’d love that.” I said with a smile, letting my fingers knit together with his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Scorned wife getting even? We spotted the recently cheated on Mrs Jeon getting cozy with a strapping, buff hottie in a private restaurant last Friday and we can’t help but wonder if perhaps the reclusive lady is trying to get back at her husband by flashing her own boytoy.” Namjoon read cheerfully from his phone, looking way too entertained as he showed me the zoomed photo of us holding hands over the dinner table .

“That’s quite the description they’ve put for you.” I grimaced, sipping my chamomile tea slowly. My father and Mr. Jeon had reacted with their usual anger, threatening to sue the gossip rag for libel but it was pointless. They would keep being intrusive rats. There was nothing much to be done beyond enduring them.

“My agent’s losing his mind. He’s been at me trying to get me to agree to book signings and public appearances and he’s pissed that this is the way I get introduced to Seoul’s High society. Poor guy.” Namjoon chuckled and I felt guilt churn.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon. I really didn’t think they’d be following me. I mean… usually they’re only tailing Jungkook but I guess with the whole thing with Lisa , they’re just looking for ways to make things worse.” I said hesitantly.

Namjoon hesitated, staring at me for a few seconds.

“We never really talked about how things are.” He said quietly. “ Between you and Jungkook, that is.”

I ran the edge of my chopsticks on the brim of my soup bowl.

“ There’s not much to say. He’s…. He’s still sorting things out. With my sister.” I smiled a little. It ached a lot less, I realized with surprise.

“They loved each other deeply.” Namjoon said softly. “ that sort of thing doesn’t go away that quickly.”

I nodded.

“Of course. And I’ve been …understanding of that. I like to think.”

“But its unfair to you. You deserve to be loved too. Fully and well .”

I leaned back to stare at him.

“Are you offering?” I laughed, teasing.

Namjoon didn’t smile, leaning forward instead.

“Depends. Will you ever consider leaving him, for me?” He said seriously.

My heart turned over inside me.

“Namjoon…” I choked out and he reached out and lightly touched my palm.

“I know how marriages work with people like you, so I think I should draw boundaries now, if I want to keep myself safe.” He smiled a bit.

“I’m pregnant. With his child.” I swallowed and Namjoon’s brows went up.

“I thought it was your child. Yours and no one else’s.”

I felt torn, staring at him and wanting to say that I didn’t consider Jungkook as the child’s father, not in the way most people did. But I also remembered my husbands determined voice, the way he kept insisting that he wouldn’t neglect the child.

“Its not about Jungkook or the child, Leah. Its about you. You married Jungkook knowing he was in love with your sister and that tells me that you listen to your parents. You don’t want to stand up against the rules set by our parents and I don’t fault you for it. But I can’t let myself fall for you, knowing you’re going to be bound by your obligations to yurr family.”

I shook my head.

“Don’t fall in love with me.” I said easily. “ You’re right. My family comes first. And whether I want to be or not, I’m bound to Jungkook for life. So don’t fall in love with me.”

He smiled and nodded.

“Alright then.”

“Do you want to move out?” I asked bitterly and he looked genuinely surprised.

“What?”

“You clearly think I’m trying to seduce you or something when really, I-“

“Hey. Hey, Leah…no. No alright, that’s not what I meant. These two weeks, it was amazing. I love your mind and you’re easily one of my favorite people on this planet. We’re friends. And we’ll stay friends no matter what but you must know why I said what I said. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m a lonely guy.” He smiled a bit, “ I just don’t want to make it hard for myself when you want me to leave.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook arrived back in Korea on a cold, rainy morning and against my better judgment I let Jihyun and Lisa drag me to the airport. It was some kind of publicity stunt, that much I could fathom but I didn’t know if Jungkook was in on it. I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days, he had been busy wrapping things up with the new branch in Japan.

It was another bad day for my leg and I found myself leaning heavily on my sister, her arm wrapped around my waist as we walked over to the waiting area. I could already identify a few men with cameras staring at us discreetly. Paparazzi . I saw them move their cameras down to the now obvious curve of my stomach and I swallowed. I could already imagine the articles wondering who the father was : Jungkook or Namjoon.

“You alright?” My sister asked worriedly and I nodded, not looking at her. Lisa hadn’t been discouraged by initial refusal to speak to her, keeping at it till I finally caved and let her visit me at the estate. She didn’t love Jungkook anymore, she insisted . It was over. They were over . She wanted to give her marriage a chance. Very sweet and nice, that. And it was obvious that she wasn’t lying, what with the way she and her husband kept

Jihyun and Lisa had made amends with each other and it annoyed me that they seemed to be madly in love with each other all of a sudden. Like the past couple months hadn’t even happened. I stared down at my wedding ring feeling stricken. Was it unfair that I resented them for this? Why hadn’t the two of them thought of this, of breaking things off and moving on before the damn wedding. And then maybe Jungkook and I would have had a real marriage too.

Bitter and hormonal was definitely not a good combination I thought with a wince, fingers splaying on the curve of my lower belly. It was so odd, being pregnant. The extra weight somehow foreign but also …so soothing. The last scan had shown that I had an anterior placenta and that meant that I may not feel movements for a while. I didn’t mind, having found comfort in just tracing my palm over the bare skin of my stomach.

“There he is.” Jihyun’s voice made me look up and ure enough there he was.

It wasn’t the longest we’d been away from each other and yet, I felt my heart leap at the sight of him. He truly was a very handsome man, I thought miserably. And no matter what people said, it was infinitely more difficult to hate your husband when he looked that good.

Jungkook’s eyes caught mine first and I saw the way his gaze dipped straight to the curve of my bump. Even from the ten feet between us , I saw hi lips part in surprise , eyes going wide. It probably hadn’t felt real to him till now, I thought biting my lips as he carefully handed his bags over to the two chauffeurs who had rushed to help him.

Jihyun wasted no time in bounding over and hugging his little brother tight.

I glanced at the man who had been taking photos, pleased to see the surprise in his face. Was he hoping that the CEO would punch his little brother in the face ? Idiots. Lisa stayed by my side and I exhaled shakily.

“ Dad told me something and I want to know if its true.” I said quietly.

She didn’t reply.

I took a deep breath, still watching the two brothers embrace each other, Jungkook’s face buried in Jihyun’s shoulders. I could see him shaking just a little and I felt my gut clench.

“He told me that …that you never told him that you wanted to marry Jungkook. That when he suggested Jihyun you agreed at once.”

She looked away.

“Lets talk about this later.” She said quietly.

“Does Jungkook know?” I demanded. “ Because he spent that first month of our marriage cursing our father out for forcing you to marry Jihyun. Forcing. And dad says that he did no such thing. So what is the truth.”

Lisa didn’t respond.

“Jungkook knows.” She said finally, “ I told him… the truth. When we were in Japan.” and I laughed in disbelief.

“Was that before or after you kissed him?” I snapped and she looked genuinely pained.

“Leah, I never meant to hurt you or Jungkook.” She said shakily.

“My God.” I shook my head. “ I always knew you were a selfish, greedy person but I didn’t take you for being a liar and a deceitful coward. ”

She stared down at her feet.

“Yes. I’m greedy..” She whispered “ And you may not understand it now but I did it for you and for Jungkook.”

She moved away and I watched as Jihyun pulled away from Jungkook, still holding his arm as he held a hand out to Lisa. The smile on her face seemed genuine as she took her husband’s hand and I shifted my gaze to mine. Jihyun and Lisa walked away to their car and Jungkook stepped closer to me, his face stoic and impossible to read.

“Leah.” He said quietly, dark hair falling into even darker eyes.

I didn’t reply, merely stepping up to gently press my palms on either side of his face.

“Welcome back.” I said softly, before reaching up and kissing him full on the lips. Jungkook’s entire body went stiff as a board at the gesture but he didn’t pull away , thankfully. It felt cold and impersonal and barely lasted a few seconds but hopefully the man had gotten a few good shots. I closed my eyes for effect, running my thumb over the clean shaven curve of his jaw, before pulling away slowly.

I peered over Jungkook’s shoulder, just to make sure and sure enough, the man was moving closer to get better angles. I smiled a little. Good. That should hold these vultures off for a while. I turned back to Jungkook and his eyes followed my gaze catching sight of the man with the camera and his entire body seemed to go stiff with anger.

“Why did you do that?” He growled and I bit my lips.

“You know why.” I made to turn away but he gripped my arm, hard. So hard that I winced.

“What are you doing?” I asked panicking, glancing at the man who was still watching.

“Since when did you start pandering to those pigs?” He whispered angrily and I flinched.

“Your father wants to introduce you to the Board of directors this weekend.” I whispered quietly, “Most of them read the news Jungkook. The last news about us can’t be about you cheating on me.”

“That’s my business. And I’ll deal with it. We’re not doing this, Leah. I’m not putting on some kind of act just to please my fucking father.” He looked furious and the taut line of his jaw made me flinch.

“I’m sorry.” I said quickly, guilt churning inside me. He was right. I shouldn’t have done that without talking to him about it but I knew that the scandal with him and Lisa wouldn’t go down well with the Board. And the Board generally had a direct say on who got hired to top managerial positions.

“I just want you to get that job.” I said softly and he stared at me, stiff body relaxing marginally.

“Let’s just go home. Yeah?” Jungkook said tiredly and I bit my lips.

Less than fifteen minutes since he came home and we were already at odds with each other.

The most ill suited couple in the universe, I thought with a grimace as he stepped right next to me and wrapped a hand around my waist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a very terrible tendency to forget taking my pills. So I generally left them by the bedside table. Stepping out of the shower, I found Jungkook sitting on my side of the bed, examining the bottle carefully. I tugged on the white t shirt I had on, suddenly embarrassed because it was Jungkook’s

I’d asked to borrow a couple over the phone, simply because I no longer fit into my own and the ones I’d ordered weren’t here yet. Jungkook had agreed but still, it felt awkward when he was wearing the exact same t shirt himself.

He turned around when I moved to the vanity to put on moisturizer for the night and through the reflection I saw his gaze linger on my attire.

“Aspirin? Didn’t know that was part of pre natal vitamins?” He said seriously and I blinked., surprised. I turned around to stare at him, licking my lips nervously.

“How much research did you do?” I asked, genuinely curious and he flushed.

“I had a lot of free time. “ He said defensively. “ These six weeks.”

I frowned, before turning back to grab the small pot of night cream from the draw.

“My blood pressure is a little elevated. My mother had pre eclampsia with my sister and they just want to be careful.”

“Pre eclampsia?” Jungkook’s voice was fraught with nervousness and I turned back to see him almost white as a sheet.

“Jungkook…I.. its nothing serious.” I said hastily and his jaw went even more taut.

“What do you mean its not serious? Do you even know what it is?” He demanded.

“Do you?” I snapped back, annoyed at being treated like I was an errant child.

“I know that it’s the leading cause of maternal death during birth.” He all but shouted and I flinched.

“Okay…that’s only in extreme cases.” I held both my hands up. “ it’s a bit too premature to be panicking over that.”

Jungkook opened his mouth, as though to argue but then seemed to calm himself down.

“When’s your next check up?” He asked casually.

“This weekend. But its okay, Namjoon is-“

“I’ll come with you. I.. I want to come with you.” He said quietly.

I stared at him, feeling too awkward to outright refuse.

“You have the meeting with the Board. This weekend.” I said softly.

“So?” Jungkook shrugged. “ I’ll just tell them your appointment and health is more important to me. Besides isn’t that what you wanted? The reason you kissed me at the airport? You want the board to think we’re happily in love. I think that would be an excellent way to show them that. ”

Jungkook stared at me , head tilted curiously, daring me to deny what I had old him myself.

Sighing, I nodded.

“Alright.” I managed a weak smile. “ You can come with me.”

“Namjoon hyung left today, you said?” He asked casually.

I nodded.

“I should send him a bottle of his favorite wine for taking care of you so well. You look good.”

“He did it because he wanted to. Because he enjoyed it.” I retorted, his words rubbing me just a little wrong.

Jungkook smiled although it was more of a smirk.

“I’m sure he did. But I’m here now. And I did promise you that I’ll be there for you.”

“For the baby.” I said sharply, not liking the way he looked. The things he seemed to b implying.” You promised me you’d be there for the baby.”

“And right now, said baby is inside you.” He grinned now and I felt my pulse quicken at the sight. Jungkook didn’t smile with me. It wasn’t something that happened. At all. “ So I’ll have to take care of you.”

I stared at him, biting my lips.

“What are you doing?” I demanded. “My sister told you she never wanted you so now you want to start fucking me again?”

It was cruel. A terrible thing to say and I regretted it at once.

The smile faded.

“What?”

“ I…fuck Jungkook.” I groaned.

“is that what you think of me? Need I remind you that you were the one who came to me all those months ago? I never…. I would never force myself on you, Leah.” He looked like he’d been stabbed and I heart clenched.

“Jungkook , I…”

“I’ve been honest. Through all of this I’ve been honest to you. I lied to your sister, I lied to my father and fuck I even lied to myself. But I’ve been honest with you , Leah.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?!” I cried out, despairing. “ You were in love with my sister and –“

“And she wanted to marry my brother.” Jungkook yelled, standing up and turning to me, eyes blazing. “ All along. Know what she told me Leah? That it was never supposed to be me. That five years of us being together…it was because she was in love with my brother and she couldn’t bear the thought of being alone. She started dating me to make him jealous and when she saw that I spent so much time with Jihyun she stuck around . So she could spend time with him.” He shook his head.

I stared at him, horrified.

“Jungkook….”

“I thought I could never feel more pathetic than when I stood there listening her tel me how she never felt a single thing for me. But wow…. Thank you for proving me wrong. Because right now, standing here begging you to let me a part of the child we both made knowing you only see me as some kind of pervert just looking to get into your bed….” he shook his head,” I feel worse. I feel dirty.”

My throat went dry.

“You know what?” He moved to the closet and to my horror he grabbed a bunch of his clothes and a small suitcase. “ I’m going to go get a Hotel room.”

“What? No… Jungkook, wait!” I rushed to his side, grabbing his arm but he threw my hand off quickly.

“Ask Namjoon hyung to move back in. Better yet, tell dad the truth. That you think I’m disgusting. That the thought of me being in your life makes you sick. Tell him you want a divorce and-“

“It’s a girl.” I exhaled sharply.

Jungkook went completely still.

I swallowed, my heart racing so fast I couldn’t catch my breath.

I took a deep breath and moved to lightly touch his back, fingers splaying on the broad expanse of his shoulder blade .

He turned around at that and my heart lurched at the tear tracks down his cheeks. He looked wrecked.

“ A girl?” He whispered.

I bit my lips, nodding.

“We’re having a little girl.” He looked a little shell shocked.

“Yes. And hopefully, she isn’t as dramatic as her father.” I said softly, grabbing the dozen or so t shirts he’d pulled out of the closet and pushing them back into the shelves.

Jungkook didn’t protest, still staring into space, probably just taking the news in. I felt awful for one second because I hadn’t even cared all that much when the technician had told me.

I closed the closet door and moved back to the vanity trying to process all that had been said in the last five minutes, only to feel a headache come on. I would think about it tomorrow.

I finished braiding my hair when Jungkook’s voice came from the bed.

“If you don’t want me to intrude into your space you can tell me. I’m okay with only getting information about the baby.” He said quietly.

I stared at myself in the mirror.

I turned to him slowly. i took a deep breath, considered that what i was going to say would likely change everything between us. But i had to.

I’ve always been honest with you Leah, He had said and I decided that perhaps he deserved some honesty in return.

“I think I’m in love with Namjoon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : these two are such a mess istg.

ooh i don’t have a taglist for this so please comment if you wanna be on it.

#jungkook smut #jungkook fics #bts smut fics #bts smut #jungkook arranged marriage #bts arranged marriage au #bts fanfic #bts smut fic #bts fics

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shina913 · 2 years

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Scale, Part 10 (Finale) | KSJ

Scale, Part 10 (Finale)

Definition: A beam that is supported freely in the center and has two pans of equal weight suspended from its ends; Something graduated especially when used as a measure or rule: such as (a) an indication of the relationship between the distances on a map and the corresponding actual distances; (b) a series of marks or points at known intervals used to measure distances; A graduated series or scheme of rank; A means of ascent.

✮ ✮ ✮ Scale Masterlist ✮ ✮ ✮

Pairing: KSJ x fem!reader; appearances by OT7

Rating: Mature content (21+), no minors please!

Genre: Rich boy!AU; CEO!AU; strangers to lovers; fluff; angst; smut; crack

Count: 7.9K+ words

Warnings: socioeconomic imbalance; heavy cussing; office banter; experimental medical treatment; time-jumps; hints of smut; tooth-rotting fluff; super cheesy lines (ugh, sorry) 😣

Summary: Kim Seokjin lives in a world where money is no object as he is the heir to his family's lucrative company; OC is a scrappy go-getter who has to work hard at multiple jobs to meet her financial obligations. When their paths cross, they'll have to figure out whether they can find a balance point between themselves and their lives.

A/N: It's here! Thank you to those who have read (and stuck with it til the end). I finally admitted it to myself and added the "crack" genre to the tags 😆

Anyway...huge thank you to my sister-in-angst, @deepseavibez for beta-ing, being so supportive and bringing new ideas and perspectives to this fic. Could not have done it without you!

So--enjoy this final chapter. I hope I did them justice 💋

❤️, comment, reblog, or send me an ask 📩. Would love to know what everyone thinks!

“No…stay right here…”

Your laughs fill the room as he whines and tries to pull you back into bed.

“I just wanted to get some water!”

“No,” he chuckles as he successfully overpowers you then buries his face into the back of your neck and you fall into a fit of giggles.

You then turn to face him. “We haven’t left this bed in like, two days,” you reasoned.

“Hmm—we should go for a third,” he says before he pulls you in to lock his lips with yours.

If you didn’t have work or other responsibilities, you would stay here for another day. It was a long weekend and after Jin took you out on his boat, he took you straight to his house–and just like you said, you haven’t left since.

“But what about food?”

“I can bring the food to you.”

You giggled. “Jin…I have work tomorrow–my new cases come in, remember?”

“Ah…I know how to solve that problem.”

“How?”

“Come work at my company,” he says matter-of-factly as he wraps his arms tighter around you.

You scoff then roll your eyes playfully.

“I’m serious. And I promise I won’t hover or breathe down your neck…unless—you want me to?” He says, then plants a trail of kisses down your neck.

“Jin…” You said in a low tone, almost begging even though you didn’t want him to stop.

“Hm?” He continues making his way down to your collarbone.

“I’ve been thinking…”

“Mm-hmm?”

“I’d like to go back to school and finish my degree,” you said.

He abruptly withdraws his mouth from your skin then regards you intently. “That’s great, YN!” He beamed.

“What made you come to that decision?”

“Funny enough, the Hwang case helped me get there,” you chuckled.

Jin scrunches his face in confusion and it makes you laugh so you decide to explain further.

“I just realized that I really enjoyed being more hands-on with accounting work and I’m thankful to Hoseok for giving me the opportunity to help out in that capacity. And now, I want to do more of it–officially, this time. Also…my dad’s getting older and I want to be able to spend more time with him and not work all the time.”

He nods. “You know, I can help with finances—“

“I had a feeling you’d say something like that after I gave you my news,” you interrupted him as you gently pushed off of him.

“Baby, you know I don’t mind helping you out with that.”

“I know…which is why I was able to figure out that part. I had a conversation with Hoseok about this and he came up with a helpful solution. He said that the company would pay for my education as long as I commit myself there for at least three years, post-graduation–it wasn’t a difficult ask.”

“That’s great! But…what about the diner?”

You exhaled sharply. “Yeah…I don’t think I can keep up with it anymore. Maybe some Saturdays or Sundays, if that?”

“You don’t want to push yourself too hard.”

“I know that. I just feel that I might not get an opportunity like this again–and…Hoseok did say the money was going to be much better so…” you shrugged.

Jin didn’t want to bring up that you didn’t have to worry about finances but you were making a huge decision for yourself and your family. He just wanted to be supportive.

“For a while, I was pretty set on doing this for the rest of my life…taking it day by day and just–surviving.” Barely.

“That’s no way to live.” He ran his fingers through your hair.

You sighed. “I realize that now. There were some days when I felt extremely exhausted that I didn’t even remember what I did that day. I feel that I’ve just been doing that the last few years–just moving through my days, my life…and not remembering or appreciating anything that’s happened. I had very different priorities then.”

Being with Jin has changed your perspective on things. Here was a man who looked like he had everything he wanted. When you got to know him, you found that he felt just as empty as any regular person who yearned for something more than what he already had in front of him.

Not that you blamed your dad or other events that have happened in the past that affected your life. At some point, you thought that there was no point in changing the past or fighting it. You just picked up your feet and kept moving on.

Then Jin stopped you in your tracks. You fought it initially because guilt ate away at you–and you didn’t want to be selfish. But at your dad’s urging, you gradually felt more comfortable with the feeling of doing something for yourself–something that made you happy and not feel bad about it.

“Well, this is a big step for you. And you know that I’m here to support you every step of the way, right?”

You nodded. “I know. Thank you,” you said as you planted a soft kiss on his lips.

******

The following day, Namjoon stopped by Jin’s office for an update on Miya’s case. Although Jin decided not to press charges, Miya still got caught up in her dad’s web.

“Is there really nothing else we can do for her?” Jin sounded hopeful even though the odds were stacked against Miya.

Namjoon sighed. “I’m sorry, bro,” he said regretfully. “This is unfortunately out of my hands. The Amorsolo painting was flagged for possible insurance fraud for years. I didn’t think it would actually turn up but my guy in Paris gave me the update and I have all the documentation saying that Miya was indeed the seller–plus, Interpol is involved...”

“Even though she was acting on behalf of Hwang?”

“Regardless. Hwang’s already going away for insurance fraud for cashing in on supposed lost paintings–Miya is an accessory. She oversaw the whole transaction and didn’t look coerced, based on the criminal informant.”

“Damn,” Jin mutters under his breath.

“Believe me, I was just as shocked when her face showed up on airport surveillance.”

They sit in silence for a minute until Jin shrugs his shoulders.

“If it’s any consolation–since she’s also turned state’s witness against her dad, I think that might help her case. She might do two years…possibly less with good behavior.”

“It’s not but, I guess it could be worse.”

“Anyway…I have other news, which is why I wanted to drop by in person.”

“I hope it’s not worse than this,” Jin braces himself.

Namjoon cackles. “No, no–It’s uhm…it’s good news–happy, even.”

“Well, c’mon, I’m on the edge of my seat here!”

His friend pulls his phone out, taps on it a couple of times before turning it to hand it over to Jin.

Jin brings the phone closer to his face then pulls it back and squints, trying to make out the image on the screen. “Okay–do I need some art degree or something to figure this out?”

Namjoon laughs heartily. “C’mon man, you can’t be that dense!”

Jin stares at him blankly.

“It’s a sonogram!” Namjoon screams loudly.

In an instant, Jin’s eyes bulge and his jaw hangs open. “Wait a minute–You’re not pranking me are you?”

“Dude, no! There’s no way I can joke about this. I’m a terrible liar, you know that!”

“That’s true,” Jin says as he looks at the photo again, suddenly feeling endeared.

“Holy shit–you’re going to be a dad, Namjoon-ah,” Jin says softly before rising from his seat and walking towards his best friend with his arms wide open.

“Congratulations, my bro,” he says as he and Namjoon hug. “I’m very happy for you and Ji-yun.”

“Thanks, Uncle Jin.”

Jin lets out his squeaky, window-wiper laugh. “That makes me feel hella old!”

“Because you are old, Jin!” Namjoon points out with a chuckle.

******

“You good, dad?”

“Yes, I’m fine, sweetheart.”

The home-care nurse has been assisting with strengthening exercises since your dad’s surgery months ago. As a result your dad was walking better and a bit more independently with a cane.

Today, Jin’s uncle calls you in for a consultation about an experimental treatment that his colleague was spearheading.

Instead of an exam room, you walk into a small conference room at the hospital. A bit unusual for a consultation but since this was a relatively new treatment and still under research, a few other doctors had joined the meeting so the extra room was warranted.

“Thank you for meeting with us, Mr. YLN and Ms. YLN,” the lead physician says.

After some smalltalk, they hit the ground running and start describing a new stem cell treatment that could reduce nerve damage, regardless of how much time passed since the trauma occurred. Jin’s uncle, being aware of your dad’s medical history, thought that he would make a good candidate.

“Just like any experimental treatment, there are risks but we firmly believe that the rewards outweigh them.”

A second doctor proceeds to explain the risks that might crop up with this treatment and her colleague then states the advantages of the treatment while you and your dad jump in every now and again to ask clarifying questions, which the doctors sounded upfront about.

They didn’t seem the type to bullshit you just so they could get an easy guinea pig.

You’ve done your homework prior to this meeting and have had some discussions with your dad at home about the treatment since Jin’s uncle called you about it the previous week.

On the drive over, it seemed like your dad was close to coming to an informed decision but also mentioned that it would all depend on how the doctors answer your questions.

The lead doctor then concludes, “The bottom line is that, we’re not going for 100% but a modest 50% improvement in your quality of life and pain level. If we can get to that threshold then we will have succeeded. What do you think about that, Mr. YLN?”

Your dad glances at you.

“It’s your decision, dad. Your safety is my number one concern but I also want you to be comfortable and happy with whatever you decide…but make sure you’re doing what you think is best for you,” you say softly.

He doesn’t say it but after all these years of you taking over as primary breadwinner of your household, he also didn’t want to make you feel that you had to be saddled with him for the rest of your life. You were still young and there was still time to build a future for yourself.

“So–if I agree to this treatment and it works–I can gain some of my independence back?” Your dad asks the doctors who sat across from you.

“We firmly believe so,” the doctor says.

“Walking unassisted?” He asks while raising his cane briefly.

“Try jogging,” the doctor says with a smile.

Your dad downturns his mouth and nods. After a few seconds, he smiles. “Well, where do I sign up then?”

You smiled back at him, admittedly a bit nervous but excited that your dad felt hopeful and had something to look forward to.

******

“I’ve decided to call a board meeting next week,” Jin’s dad announces after the butlers take away the dinner plates.

This was something that would take a little getting used to–a private chef, having people wait on you–not in a restaurant but a private home. Jin’s mom had been insistent on having you and Jin for dinner along with Haejin and Jungkook. It looked like she had planned out a whole feast for the six of you.

“Really? So…what have you decided?” Haejin asks.

Jin’s dad takes a sip of his wine before he answers. “I’m stepping down,” he says without a hint of hesitation.

“Dad–” Jin tries to interrupt.

“I thought a lot about what you and Haejin said–I think it’s time for me to move KimCorp into the future. Of course your mom is absolutely elated,” he says, as he glances at his wife, smiling back at him.

“So…is Uncle Joonho taking over?” Jin tries to guess.

He takes a deep breath. “No,” he said simply.

“Did you take a look at my list? Would you like me to make some calls?” Haejin jumps at the opportunity.

“No, because I’ve already decided who would be the best person for the job. They would certainly usher in a new era and continue the legacy.”

“Okay, well–please, keep us in perpetual suspense, dad,” Haejin says sarcastically.

He then turns to her and smiles. “Congratulations, boss-lady.”

“What?” You, Jin, and Jungkook say in unison.

“Dad, don’t mess with me–” Haejin says with a nervous chuckle.

“Darling, ever since we got you on board, you’ve been on us from the beginning–proposing improvements that we can make, ways on how we can branch out…growing the Foundation and really cementing our role not just in business but in the community as well. I don’t know of anybody else who cares about the future of this company more than you, Haejin.”

“D-dad, this is–oh my god–this is…wow,” she breathes out.

“I’ve talked to the shareholders and board members this month to test the waters and they all agree that you would make a great CEO and Chairperson. And between you and me, even if some of them disagreed, I would have overruled them anyway.”

Her mouth was agape and she looked around the table then at Jungkook, who smiled proudly at her, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

“I don’t know if she can do it dad–her brain just had a malfunction,” Jin teases as he polishes off his glass of wine..

“Shut up!” She shakes her head. “Can I have a moment, at least? Can I please have a think on it, dad? I…I don’t want to jump the gun.”

“Of course, darling. As long as you give me an answer in the next few days, before the board meeting so I can figure out a backup plan, just in case,” he chuckles.

******

It was a mostly quiet drive back for Jungkook and Haejin, after leaving her parents’ home until they arrived at her place.

She walks in, wordlessly, sheds her clothing before hopping into the shower.

Jungkook isn’t sure how to bring up the topic–or whether she even wants to talk about it.

He waits for her to get into bed, sitting up against the headboard, on top of the sheets since he was still fully clothed. She steps out of the bathroom wearing her pink, cotton, bunny-print pajamas. The same ones that she usually busted out when she either had a hard day at work or gotten into an argument with Jungkook.

Well, they didn’t have a fight–at least, not one that he was aware of. So that left one thing…

“What’s wrong, jagi?”

“Nothing,” she says nonchalantly. “Just a little tired.” She proceeds to curl up under the sheets.

He leans downwards a bit and gently runs his fingers through her hair.

“C’mon, Haejin. We’ve been together long enough for me to know that something’s bothering you.”

She hums and closes her eyes at the sensation.

“Is this about your dad asking you to be CEO?”

She sighs, still with her eyes closed. “Yes,” she says softly.

“Now why would that bother you?”

“I don’t know,” she replies, noncommittal.

“Jagi…the first time I ever interacted with you was during a KimCorp board meeting. I watched you sit there, voicing out your ideas and suggestions–and people actually paid attention. And it wasn’t just because you were the boss’s daughter. It was because your ideas made a lot of sense and they would benefit the company.”

Haejin sat up from under her covers and looked at Jungkook.

“Back then, I was just a mid-level staff member. Just…another cog in the machine. But…CEO?” She puffed out her cheeks and blew out a breath. “That’s…a whole different ballgame.”

He chuckles. “Right–but when have you ever backed down from a challenge?”

“Baby–this is…this is my family’s legacy we’re talking about here, not a press release or some potential scandal that I have to clean up. I just…I don’t know. I’m afraid to fuck it up!”

“And you think your dad–or Jin-hyung haven’t fucked up? Ever?”

She sighs heavily. “I just feel like there’s so much more pressure because I’m a woman.”

“But you’re not just any woman. You’re Kim Haejin! That holds weight anywhere!”

She nods feebly. “I guess…another thing I’m worried about is…us.”

He scrunches his face in confusion. “Us? Why would you need to worry about us?”

“If I take the job, it means less time for our relationship.”

He smiles. “That comes with the territory, doesn’t it?”

She nods and he takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around her. She nuzzles into his chest and takes a whiff of his cologne–it was incredibly intoxicating.

“Well…I’ve never been CEO before, obviously. But I’ve watched Jin-hyung for the last couple of years. I’ve seen him work himself to the bone until…something had to give. We both know how that ended up.” He takes a moment to glance at Haejin, who was still listening intently.

“But…after his breakdown, I saw a change in him. He set boundaries for himself–whether it was something as simple as not checking emails on the weekend or leaving the office at a set time without logging in from home because he thinks that’s cheating,” he chuckles.

“My point is–he set an example for everyone at the office. Not that he hadn’t already set that precedent when he started the company. He knew that other people had families and lives outside of work. But I think that once he actually started practicing what he preached, he was happier and therefore more successful.”

“You really think I can do it, Kook?”

He tilts her chin up to look at him. “I know you can, Haejin. And you’ll be great at it. I’m sure you’ll have to make compromises along the way. But if you were worried about us? I think it will take an Act of God to break us up.”

She giggles. “Act of God?”

He laughs. “It seemed like the most extreme thing I could think of,” he said. “But seriously–whatever happens, happens. At this point in time, I love you, you love me. And because I love you, I would never forgive myself if I held you back from something that would make you great.”

She smiled. “You’ve definitely worked with my brother too long–you’re starting to sound like him!”

“Aish…I’ll take that as a compliment,” he laughs then proceeds to mimic Jin’s squeaky windshield-wiper laugh.

She falls in absolute stitches. “Alright, alright–a little too on the nose there!”

By morning, she calls her dad and accepts the nomination. The following week, Kim Daesung announces his retirement and vacates his seat as Chairman. Shortly after, the board voted unanimously to appoint Haejin as CEO and new Chairperson of KimCorp.

******

Sounds of champagne flutes were clinking above murmurs of excitement. Celebration was in the atmosphere.

“Alright, everyone–” Jin says as he tries to calm everyone down even though he himself couldn’t contain his excitement. He stood in the middle of Moon Industries’ main floor surrounded by his staff.

It was the end of the first quarter of the new year and just as Jungkook had predicted, their stock value held steady and closed off the week at a historical company-high.

Finally, Jungkook lets out a resounding “shush” to silence everybody in the room so that Jin could make his speech.

“Aish…I’m going to try not to be emotional here.”

“It’s alright, hyung-nim! We won’t hold it against you,” Jungkook chuckles.

Jin also chuckles in response.

“Well…I just wanted to take a moment with you all here just to say a few words. We’ve been through a lot as a young company. We were extremely lucky to have people believe in us, in what we do and what we stand for–very early on. We’ve had very tough challenges but we all stuck together and kept at it–and now, look at where we’re at now?”

Everyone in the room applauds.

He raises his glass and his staff follows suit.

“Uh–-before we toast, could I just say a few words?” Jungkook asks.

“Of course, Jungkook-ah!”

He clears his throat. “Uhm–I think I speak for everyone here when I say that, if anybody’s taken a chance and believed in people, it’s you, Jin-hyung. You believed in all of us, too. You’re a great and compassionate leader who’s not afraid to show weakness. Your faith in us and this company has fueled us to persist even when things seemed bleak. So with that and on behalf of everyone here,” Jungkook raises his glass to Jin, “Here’s to you, hyung. You deserve all the success and good things coming to you.”

Jin beams at his dongsaeng and raises his glass in mid-air and clinks it towards Jungkook. “To all of us,” he says as he does a slow, sweeping motion with his arm to toast everyone.

******

One year later…

You never thought this day would come–it’s been far too long and the idea of it was a pipe dream until over a year ago.

It was a long, complicated road leading up to this moment and you had to keep pinching yourself to make sure that you were really here and living this moment.

Balancing a full-time job, school, and just life in general was a huge struggle and you had moments where you were at your wits’ end. But you had a loving family and Jin–was incredibly patient on nights when you had to pull an all-nighter because you had a deadline or just wanted to go straight to bed.

For what seemed like forever, you kept telling yourself that this will all be worth it in the end and it kept you going even though there were some days that your resolve started to falter.

And then, at the sound of your name, you flinch as sudden cheering, whooping, and high-pitched whistling erupt from a small corner of the auditorium. You remember those who kept you grounded and focused this whole time.

You take a couple of steps up on the riser to get to the stage. The cheering gets significantly louder as you walk towards the college’s dean to accept your diploma.

You grin in slight embarrassment as you glance in the direction of where your family and friends sat.

“Congratulations,” the dean says to you as they shake your hand.

“Thank you,” you say softly before walking off the stage.

As you descend from the stage, your dad yells at you to pause so that he could take a picture of you.

Jin, Taehyung, and Jimin are holding their camera phones up to take snaps of your special moment. You wave back to them and gesturing that you needed to get back to your seat before you clogged up the aisle.

When you arrived back to your seat, you glanced at the little, rolled up piece of paper that you clutched in your hand. For years, you thought that you didn’t need this to have a future since you were getting by just fine. But your perspective has changed…and so have other things in your life. After working hard for it and now holding it in your hands, the experience was sweeter.

******

After the ceremony, Jin thought that he would take you to a celebratory dinner somewhere familiar so he invited all of your guests to meet back in this location.

“Hey! Congratulations, stranger,” Yoongi says as he stood by the counter with arms wide open. It was a strange sight since he wasn’t one for huge, emotional gestures–much less showing them in public.

“Thanks, Yoongi.” You hugged him tightly. It’s been a couple of months since you stopped by the diner to say ‘hi’. The weeks leading up to your finals were as intense as ever but you and Jimin kept in touch so he’s been filling you in on the new employees.

It wasn’t long ago that Jimin also let you know that he also decided to continue to pursue his education as well and started cutting back on his working hours.

“Look at my little birds spreading their wings and fleeing the nest,” he remarks as he sees Jimin following closely behind you and Jin.

“Ahh, Yoongi…you’re such a grandpa sometimes,” Jimin grins.

“I’m just very proud of you both.”

“How are you holding up, Yoongi? Are the newbies giving you a hard time?” You asked.

“Oh c’mon, it’s not like I didn’t go through the same thing when you were both new,” he chuckles.

“Sorry, Yoongi.”

He waved you off. “I didn’t expect either of you to retire here. This was just a pit-stop for both of you until you figured out what you wanted to do with your lives.”

“Always so wise, Yoongi,” Jimin says.

“Yoongi,” Jin says as he comes up from behind you to shake Yoongi’s hand.

“Thanks again for letting us use the place,” he says.

“Don’t mention it. I wouldn’t close it for anybody else,” Yoongi says as he winks at you.

“Wha–what about when I graduate, hyung?” Jimin retorts.

“That’s yet to be seen, Jimin-ah!”

“Well, in any case, hope we covered a full night’s service,” Jin asks.

“Ah, you’ve covered more than enough, Jin. I almost feel awkward accepting it,” Yoongi replies.

“Don’t even worry about it. I don’t want anybody to feel short-changed,” Jin reasons before he excuses himself to greet his parents, who had just walked through the doors.

“Thanks again, Yoongi,” you said as you hugged him once more.

“Alright, alright–that’s enough fluffy stuff. I’ve been waiting to get to that open bar in the corner,” he says as you both pull away.

“C’mon, hyung. Let’s get you a scotch!” Jimin says as he puts his arms around Yoongi to lead him to the portable bar set up at one corner of the diner.

As Yoongi and Jimin walk off, you mill around with your guests. Your dad was seated in one of the booths with Taehyung and joined shortly by Jin’s parents.

Ji-yun walks through the door pushing in a stroller, followed by Namjoon, who was carrying their baby daughter, Haneul.

You race over to say ‘hi’ and get your fill before Haejin and Jin’s mom start fawning over her.

“Oh my gosh, she’s actually awake this time,” you remarked as you asked to take her from Namjoon’s arms.

“Yeah, she got a bit of a power nap in the car on the way here so, she’s good for another hour until the whining starts back up,” Ji-yun says.

“Aww,” you turn to look at their daughter, whom you held in your arms. She gives you a big smile in return.

“She really likes you,” he remarked.

“I think it’s only because she just had a nap,” you said as you made funny faces at her that made her giggle.

“No–I think she really does,” Ji-yun says. “My baby is a good judge of character!”

“Haneulie!” Jin says as he approaches your group. The baby starts to whine at the sight of him.

“Ya, come on! You have got to be kidding me. What is it this time? Are you hungry or sleepy?” For some reason, even though Jin was her godfather, she always started crying when she saw him.

It all started when you both came over about two weeks after she was born–when Namjoon and Ji-yun started accepting visitors. Jin brought over a little stuffed animal for her, a cute, alpaca with a red handkerchief tied around its neck. She started crying at the feel of it and their relationship has been humorously strained since.

Namjoon had teased Jin relentlessly, seeing how this was the first girl who wouldn’t fall prey to his charms. He’s tried making cute faces, blew kisses, and even put his hair up on pigtails once to try to make her giggle. She was not impressed by any of it.

Ji-yun raises her eyebrows. “I told you–she’s a good judge of character,” she mumbles at you and you both giggle as she takes her baby back.

"I heard that!"

"I wanted you to," Ji-yun cackles then kisses her baby's cheek.

You greet Jungkook and Haejin, who had just arrived as well and sat at the table next to your family.

She and her dad were having a bit of a discussion about business.

“I’m just saying that I wouldn’t have approached it that way, Haejin-ah.”

“What does it matter, dad? In the end, I took care of it. All parties were fully satisfied with the deal,” she reasons.

Since her appointment as CEO, Haejin has made waves in the business world. She has updated certain policies to accommodate a more family-friendly schedule–similar to Jin’s corporate policy.

She compromised when necessary but stood firm when morals or principles were at risk. She certainly had a much different style than her predecessors. She was more ideologic and mission-driven but it has paid off in a big way. It opened the company to new ventures–more connections to nonprofits, including the expansion of the Moonstone Foundation.

She worked just as hard as her father and his father before him did and is gaining more respect from the public sector, as a result and just last month, was voted as one of the top trustworthy companies who operate based on transparency and integrity.

Her father sighed. “You’re right. I stand corrected,” he relents. The first year of retirement was not without its challenges for Jin’s father. Getting used to not having to come into the office was a bit of a shock to his system but his wife was there to help him get adjusted.

He recently started enjoying fishing with his brother again, and there were a few more golf meet-ups with Namjoon’s dad–although, there were some days when he had to reschedule on account of his granddaughter visiting.

Namjoon’s dad never missed an opportunity to brag about Haneul and all of the new, cute things that she did. He’s shown off hundreds of the same photos of her mid-yawn or with a piece of broccoli in her mouth.

He didn’t say it out loud but he found himself quietly wondering what it was like to spoil a grandchild. Of course, it didn’t help that his wife also had the grand-baby fever going.

“Don’t get any ideas, dad,” Haejin giggles as Jungkook chokes on his appetizer.

She catches her dad sneaking glances at Ji-yun and Namjoon doting on their daughter.

“You alright there, babe?” Haejin says as she pats her fiancé's back, allowing him to catch his breath.

“All good, jagi,” he clears his throat.

“You better buck up, bunny! Because in a little over a month, all the aunties will start asking us those questions.”

Jungkook proposed during a surprise vacation to the Maldives the previous year after Haejin’s first successful quarter as CEO.

She was as non-traditional as they came and didn’t really feel like planning a huge wedding. She almost gave her mom a heart attack when she suggested that she and Jungkook just walk down to the courthouse in her white Vera Wang cocktail dress to seal the deal and go eat at her favorite restaurant afterwards.

“Hey, lovebirds! Ready for the big day?” you interrupted them.

“Ugh, I’ve been ready! But the parentals here wanted to make a whole event out of it,” she laughs.

“Oh, baby, you’re our only daughter. Can't you just give me this moment, please?” her mother pleads as they playfully bicker some more.

“See? This is what I have to contend with,” Jin’s dad says to your dad. “It’s good your daughter has a good head on her shoulders.”

“Ah–YN has her moments,” your dad chuckles and gives you a look before polishing off his drink.

“Would you like me to get you another? What are you drinking?” Jin’s dad asks as he gets up from his seat.

“Nah, I’ll come with you, Daesung,” your dad says as they both walk together towards the bar.

You were amazed at your dad’s progress and how quickly and easily his body took the treatment. Even the doctors conducting the study were pleased with the results. The improvement in your dad’s mobility was a good 60%. Well-above what they had hoped for. He was able to jog twice a week around the park close to your neighborhood, sometimes taking Tannie with him. He was also able to walk unassisted without pain or difficulty for relatively short distances.

At some point, the doctors thought that maybe it was a placebo-effect of sorts but your dad put all of his focus and energy into this treatment working. He was physically and mentally committed to it and the results were nothing short of a miracle.

“You okay there, Taehyungie?” You asked as you approached him walking away from Namjoon.

“Everything’s good, YN. Are you alright?”

“Never better!” you responded.

“Hey, don’t forget about my showing next week, okay? I overheard Jin-hyung say something about some graduation trip that he was taking you to.”

“Oh, pfft–me? Miss your first gallery showing? C’mon, Tae. What do you take me for, huh?”

Namjoon got Taehyung connected with one of his art-curator friends and one of the galleries that he oversaw chose him as their resident artist for a limited time so he was officially launching his exhibit the following weekend.

Taehyung had worked very hard for the last year and even received an advance to complete his collection.

So far, all of the promotion that the gallery has drummed up was gathering steam and there were already a few interested buyers trying to bid on Taehyung’s work.

Of course, Namjoon, never forgetting Tae’s enthusiasm for art history and his crucial role in revealing that the Klimt painting was indeed the originally lost painting, decided to hire him as a consultant for his insurance firm. He was to assist with some insurance claims involving lost artworks or verifying them when a client was in need of an appraisal.

“You know Jin and I would never miss it for the world!”

He gives you a boxy smile to show his appreciation then walks over for a quick chat with Jimin and Yoongi.

“Hey, YN–so sorry I’m late,” Hoseok says as he walks up to you.

“Oh my gosh, not at all! I’m so glad you could make it,” you said as you gave him a big hug.

“Sorry I missed the ceremony,” he said regretfully.

“Oh no, don’t say that. I figured that case that we got last week needed your full attention. Duty calls!”

“I know, but I would have loved to have been there, though.”

“You were definitely there in spirit, Hoseok. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. You planted the idea!”

“Yes, but you still did all the work. You’re here because of you–and I knew you could do it! I’m so proud,” he smiles broadly.

“Thank you, Hoseok.”

“By the way–as a gift for graduating and to get you ready for the licensure exams, I’m giving you the week off,” he says.

“What? You’re crazy! What about the new girl? You said I was supposed to train her?”

“Don’t worry. Mayumi offered to train her next week and then you can take over when you get back.”

“You’re too kind to me, Hoseok.”

“Mm-hmm. Is it too obvious that I’d like you to stay longer than the contractually-obligated three years after graduation?” He laughed.

You laughed with him. “Hoseok, if there’s one thing that I cannot be forced to do, is to be glad that I work for you.”

******

“So…you nervous about tonight?” Namjoon whispers as he sways his hips back and forth with a sleeping Haneul, whose head is resting over his shoulder.

“Sshh!! C’mon, bro–don’t blow my cover,” Jin says.

“I’m not! Just checking to make sure you’re good.”

“Everything’s fine. I have a plan.”

Namjoon let out a throaty laugh, which made his daughter stir.

“See? Now you just woke her up.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to take her on the boat or maybe even get her on one of the company helicopters?”

“Namjoon-ah, I think you’re confusing real life with an episode of The Bachelor,” Jin says wryly.

“Also, what if I did take her on the boat and I get too nervous and it falls into the water? Then I’m fucked! So…just–let me do my thing. The right moment will present itself eventually.”

“Right. As if you hadn’t been hanging on to that little box for a good 6 months already.”

“No pressure at all, huh,” Jin says sarcastically.

“If it makes you feel any better, I was so nervous that I threw up before I asked.”

Jin snorts then falls into a fit of laughs.

“Asked who?” Haejin says as she joins her big brothers.

“Nothing,” Jin says immediately recovering.

Haejin narrows her eyes at Jin. “You’re up to something–”

“And on that note–I’m going to take YN home! Bye-bye, Haneul,” Jin whispers in a tiny voice as he caresses her chubby cheek with his finger. “She’s absolutely adorable, Joon. Are you sure she’s yours?” Jin laughs at his own dig at his friend.

“You laugh now but I’ll get you back when you have your own!”

When Jin walks away, Haejin takes the opportunity to try and get it out of Namjoon. But instead, he makes up some excuse saying that he needed to go see Ji-yun about heading home as well since the baby was asleep.

******

You open your eyes to find the sunlight peeking through the bedroom blinds.

Last night, he was acting strange on the way back to his house. He was unusually quiet for the duration of the car ride when he was normally chatty and animated.

When you walked through the front doors, you kept asking him if he was feeling alright and he insisted that he was fine until he took you completely by surprise by pressing you against the wall and kissed you hungrily.

It wasn’t lost on you that the last month has been brutal for both of you. You had to study for your finals and complete all other outstanding requirements for graduation. There wasn’t much time for sex—at least not like you were used to.

So for the rest of the evening, you spent it getting lost in each other’s touches and kisses. You took your time savoring the other—and for a moment, you were both insatiable.

You chuckle at the memory then stirred slowly before turning your head to your left to find Jin, still sound asleep.

You smiled at how peaceful he looked. Eyes closed with a few errant strands of hair falling right above his eyelids. His lips were parted slightly, letting out long, faint sighs from an unknown dream that he was having.

When you first met him, you didn’t have the slightest clue who he was. Sure, it was the age of social media and you can pretty much Google anybody online. And maybe it was better that way. You enjoyed the mystery–much like the TV shows that you freely consumed.

Once everything about his life came to light, you admittedly had some reservations. You didn’t know how you would stack up against him. Did you have to give a little more to match what he brought to the table? Did you have to earn your keep?

What would it take to tip the scales in order to maintain a steady balance? Could you even manage that?

The money, cars, boats, and staff who occasionally dipped in and out of the residence–it was all very normal to him. It was what he grew up with. Every now and then, it made you uncomfortable knowing that he could afford all this but he never forced you to ‘get used to it.’

On the other hand, you didn’t want him to hold himself back either. Trying to separate the Jin whom you loved from the CEO-billionaire that he is, is like trying to love half a person. And that wasn’t fair to him. He deserved to be loved wholly–and you did. You do.

Your dad gained some of his independence back and Taehyung now has a more stable job that he was incredibly passionate about. Your family was seemingly taken care of.

That little voice within you that came up every now and then? Wishing for a bit more…just–more than what you currently had. More fun, more money, more time for yourself…more freedom.

And finally, here was the payoff…It was all worth it.

You were waking up next to him–not having to worry about family, money, time, or freedom–whether there was a lack of it or too much.

You couldn’t help yourself–you stretch your pointer finger and push back those errant strands of hair ever-so-lightly off his face.

Yep, you could definitely get used to this.

“Like what you see?” he asks lazily with his eyes still closed.

You chuckle lightly. “Always.”

Right then, he slowly opens his eyes. “That’s supposed to be my job.”

“What?”

“Watching you sleep…in a totally non-creepy way.”

You laugh heartily. “Well, too bad I was up before you.”

“Ah, I was up for a bit a couple hours ago and did it already.”

You laughed. “Do you do that all the time?”

He shrugs. “I wouldn’t say ‘all the time’…often, maybe.”

“Why do you do it?” You wondered.

He sighed. “I thought about what you said a while back–how days move so quickly, filled with work, everyday problems…and once your head hits the pillow, you realize that you’ve hardly had the time to stop and appreciate all the good things in your life. So…this is me, stopping to appreciate one good thing in my life.”

It made you grin at how cheesy that was but only he could say that line and devastate you with it.

“Did I ever tell you that I love you so much?” You said as you cupped his face.

“No–why don’t you come closer and show me instead,” he says as he pulls you in closer to lock his lips with yours.

******

“Oh well–I guess we have to get up at some point, huh?” You panted after he gave you three orgasms within the hour.

“Do we have to?” He says with amusement with a slight devilish lilt in his voice.

His gaze burned through you. “But I’m hungry,” you argued.

“Come back to bed and we’ll rectify that,” he says.

You giggled. “For food, Jin!”

He groaned.

“Besides, haven’t you had enough yet?”

“Define ‘enough’,” he challenged.

You laughed. “C’mon…let’s make breakfast,” you said as you swung your legs over to the edge of the bed and stood up. You bend down to pick his discarded dress shirt off the floor and wore it over your bralette.

You turn to find him sitting up on the bed staring at you. “Aren’t you going to move?”

He shrugs, while still eyeing your near-naked form. He loved it when you wore his clothes. “The view’s just fine from down here.”

You crawled back briefly towards him to give him a quick peck. “Stop being so sexy. Now come on–get up!”

“Alright, alright,” he relented as he watched you walk down towards his bedroom doorway.

As soon as he hears the door open and your footsteps fade away, he walks into his closet and opens up a drawer where he kept his ties and watches. He reached further back, right behind the second row, where he kept his Rolex diver watches. He retrieves a small, black, velvet box.

He opens it to admire the oval-cut diamond that he picked not so long ago. The jeweler remarked that they could widen the band if he wanted to pick a larger stone but decided to settle on a modest 2.5 carats.

He could have gone for something more ostentatious–he really could afford to–but if you were going to wear it? He wanted to make sure he picked something that suited you. He did decide to give the design a little punch and chose a twisted, vine-like band with one strand containing a string of pave diamonds and the other without.

It was very much reflective of your relationship–two different lives intertwining then coming together.

All of a sudden, he hears you padding back into the room and calling out to him. He slams the box shut then hides it behind him, trying to act inconspicuous.

“In here!”

You stop by the entrance to his walk-in closet to find him standing awkwardly by his watch drawer.

“Just looking for a shirt!” He says randomly.

You squint and look at him suspiciously.

“What’s up?” His question shakes away your thoughts.

“Sorry, I still don’t know how to work your espresso machine and I’m afraid I’ll break it if I try. Are you good with regular coffee,” you asked.

“Oh, yeah! Totally. I usually take the espressos during weekdays anyway,” he smiles awkwardly.

You smile back at him and chuckle. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, everything’s perfect!”

You nodded. “Mm-hmm. Alright,” you utter as you disappeared once more to head back downstairs to the kitchen.

That was close, he thought. Although it didn’t seem like you noticed anything odd, he decided within himself that he needed to move this box before you started to get any ideas and went exploring in his closet.

He retrieves a pair of sweats from his dresser and a plain, white tee, and grabs the box and pockets it before heading downstairs to where you were at.

******

After retrieving some bacon and eggs from the fridge, you take a sauté e pan from his cupboard but he stops you.

“Nah-uh,” he says as he grabs the pan from your clutches.

“What?”

“You go relax and I’ll take care of breakfast, Miss Accountant!”

You laughed. “I’m technically not even licensed yet. I still have to take the exams for that, Jin.”

“Which you will ace, I’m sure. Now come on, go have a seat. I’ll take care of breakfast.”

He was nervous, not to mention that a significant piece of jewelry was boring a hole in his pocket at the moment. He figured he’d try to offset the nerves by cooking you a meal and distracting you.

You acquiesced and grabbed the coffee that you poured for yourself before he arrived in the kitchen and sat in his breakfast nook while you scrolled through your phone…seemingly oblivious.

After a few minutes of banging around the kitchen and declining all of your offers to help, all that was left for him to do was to wait for the bacon to render. He turns around, leaning against the kitchen counter, looking towards where you sat on the corner. The window was to your left, where soft sunlight kisses the side of your cheek.

It was so relaxed, so domestic, so…normal. He was ready to risk everything just to have more moments like this.

He wasn’t overcompensating for anything and neither were you. It was an equal amount of give and take. Nobody felt short-changed.

This was what he wanted…a life in a state of balance. Equilibrium.

He watched as you tilted the bottom of your mug upwards, signaling that you had polished off your first cup.

He chuckles to himself and deems this as the perfect opportunity. He quickly grabs the carafe from his coffee machine then walks towards you. As you set the mug down on the table, he clears his throat.

You turn to him to find him crouched down, at eye-level next to you, balancing himself on one knee.

“Would you like some more coffee?”

You glanced over to him and smiled warmly. “Yes.”

Taglist: @deepseavibez @shameless-army @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @twogyuu @jakepralta @arisud @justmewondering-recs @taleasnewastime @se0kedinluv @bangtannoonalvg

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translightyagami · 3 years

Text

James “translightyagami/avoidfilledwithcelluloid” Death Note Fic Masterlist

Hello to all you guys out there. Here is my full masterlist of allllll the Death Note fanfic I’ve written: There are over 120 fics contained within this entire list. I’m going to split it up by chapter fics, one-shot fics, short fic compilations, and gift fics I’ve done for fandom exchanges. The descriptions will tell you what the pairings are (mostly Lawlight, but there’s other stuff too). There are several posts of mine that are loosely defined fic, but I won’t be adding those in this post as they are just … hard to organize lol.

Fics are marked with E if they have explicit content and T if there are textual references to transgender characters. Chapter fics are marked as either complete or currently incomplete. Okay! Here we go!

[UPDATED 11/20/2021]

CHAPTER FICS

sit and stay awhile https://archiveofourown.org/works/31032719 complete Light has a fantasy of sitting in L’s lap, and he’s got a plan to make that a reality.

the art of ink and flowers https://archiveofourown.org/works/35106943 currently incomplete, E, T Light needs an apprentice and thinks he's found the perfect one in young firecracker Mello. Now to deal with Mello's uncle, the strange, mysterious, and - oops! - super hot florist Ryuzaki, who doesn't want his nephew near a tattoo parlor. What could possibly go wrong?

i could write it (better than you ever felt it) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13913043 currently incomplete Light works in the To-Oh university library, where he meets his favorite romantic mystery author, Eraldo Coil, who later reveals himself to be the great detective L. Through the course of their working together to solve a crime, Light finds he might have feelings for L and those feelings might be shared by the detective novelist.

your heart is an empty cup https://archiveofourown.org/works/13027707 currently incomplete Light is the assistant manager of a Starbucks in NYC, and L is one of his most annoying customers. When L accuses Light (correctly) of being Kira, as well as mysteriously asking for his help on a different case, the barista has to decide if he’s ready to get in bed with the enemy – maybe even literally.

the forest holds strange creatures https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442660 complete, E, T Light, a paranormal research grad student, comes to a small town trying to find a mysterious cryptid. He finds L, a 10-foot-tall tree creature, who helps Light discover the greatest cryptid of all: love. The only reason this one is in the chapter fic section is because it includes a Halloween special chapter with the intro of Beyond Birthday into the cryptid AU.

At Your Service https://archiveofourown.org/works/19229524 complete, E, T The Yagami family owns the sprawling, exclusive Hotel Kitsune where all sorts of international espionage agents make their temporary home. That includes the great detective L, whose romantic tension with Light comes to a boiling point when he comes to stay after a long absence.

best practices https://archiveofourown.org/works/21113519 complete, E, T Light has been working his way to the top of the corporate ladder thanks to his own hard work, and his more-than-close relationship with L, the company CEO and founder’s son. Their relationship comes to a head when L challenges Light to open himself up, making him vulnerable to showing the true depth of what he feels for L and his own desire to explore sexual power dynamics.

ONE-SHOT FICS

tell me the truth https://archiveofourown.org/works/12592320 E, T Light and Matsuda hit up a bar after work, and then Light hits up Matsuda for sex, praise, and a distraction from the deep emptiness inside him.

constricting https://archiveofourown.org/works/13721580 E, T Light breaks L’s favorite tea cup in their kitchen, and L eats him out because he loves his husband so much.

tell me I’m good https://archiveofourown.org/works/13986861 E In the middle of the night, L receives a drunk call from Light, hiding in the bathroom at a party. The call, turning from desperate to horny, reveals more about Light than L wanted to know.

if at first you don’t succeed https://archiveofourown.org/works/15119816 E, T Light gave his first blow job and accidentally bit L on the dick. He tries to make up for his mistake by trying again.

let me work on you https://archiveofourown.org/works/15884799 E, T As the result of losing bet to him, Light has to be L’s computer desk – naked and laying over his boyfriend’s lap. Of course, when L gives him another sexy challenge, Light can’t help but rise to the occasion.

alterations https://archiveofourown.org/works/17945957 E, T Light comes to visit his boyfriend Mikami at his fancy law office and suggests they have sex there. When Mikami reacts unfavorably, Light has to do damage control, and it smarts a lot more than he expected.

lizard https://archiveofourown.org/works/18552499 E, T Light meets a beefcake guy at a bar on the anniversary of L’s death, and lets him take him home (Lizard is my death note OC, and the fic was a wonderful commission from @queerical)

Buried Alive https://archiveofourown.org/works/19705540 L and Light live together in L’s underground bunker after the apocalypse scorches the Earth. They watch some VHS tapes and do some gardening.

Our Little Secret https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822881 E After getting his memories, his freedom, back, Light wants to give L a gift: Kira tied up at his mercy. But L isn’t so sure if that gift is the one he really wants.

The Light of the Moon https://archiveofourown.org/works/25052722 E, T L is a vampire and accidentally bites Light, who is haunted by dreams that make him question why he wants L to bite him again (and maybe … something more …)

little animals https://archiveofourown.org/works/26829778 E Light and his werewolf boyfriend L fuck in their backyard garden.

Change OR the one where L and Light get married https://archiveofourown.org/works/27748159 E, T A gift/commish fic for @ohgodplsdontlook. Six years after the Kira case closes, L and Light go have a wedding in the mansion where L spent his childhood summers. They bring the Yagami family, their baggage, and vows to share each other’s secrets.

a divine power https://archiveofourown.org/works/28018197 E L has a particular power that has helped him get confessions from even the most hardened, tight-lipped criminals, and he offers to use this power on Light to get an honest answer to the question "Are You Kira?" Not really believing L's power is real (and also smelling an easy way to lie his way out of being caught) Light agrees to submit to this bizarre investigative power - not realizing that L is about to make him a *very* honest man. (TL;DR, L has a Magic Cock That Makes Anyone He Fucks Fall in Love With Him AU.)

Possession https://archiveofourown.org/works/29232294 E After being killed by his family for being Kira, Light makes a deal with the demon L to get back to the mortal realm - a very, very sexy deal.

24-Hour Gym https://archiveofourown.org/works/29415480 After the yellow warehouse goes (mortally) in their favor, Light and Mikami frequent the same 24-hour gym. Eventually, after seeing all his work out skills, Light asks Mikami if he can bench press *Kira*.

Fantasy of a Fantasy https://archiveofourown.org/works/29729685 E, T While monitoring the Yagami family home for suspicious activity, L catches Light getting off to a dirty magazine and projects what he thinks his main suspect's fantasies might be.

the chains that bind us https://archiveofourown.org/works/32051299 E, T Obligatory post-Yotsuba arc fic where Light is released from the handcuffs, and wants desperately to be back in bondage with L. Features a very creative use of the handcuff chain.

Kept https://archiveofourown.org/works/33334282 E, T Omegaverse AU where Light cooks up a horny evil scheme so that L won’t throw him in jail, and also lets him get that alpha lovin’ he so desires.

so glad you’re home https://archiveofourown.org/works/33977605 E, T L returns from a solo case and he and Light have a purr-fect homecoming together - including some spanking, cat ears, and a shower of sappy affection.

SHORT FIC COMPLIATIONS

hand in unlovable hand https://archiveofourown.org/works/15025058 E Okay so I’ve been answering Tumblr askbox prompts for over 2 years now, and this? This is ALL of the Lawlight fics. There are over 70 Lawlight fics in this compilation, with all the nsfw fics marked as such. Here are somethings you’ll find in this horde: an AU where L is fat; dirty talk; ghost sex; phone calls about buying a house; early morning tea; kissing; spanking; bondage; L’s hair being brushed; and much, much more. If you have wished for a particular type of Lawlight fic, it is probably in this bunch.

Containing Multitudes https://archiveofourown.org/works/17570645 E Like i said, I’ve been answering all types of Tumblr prompts. These are all the multi-pairing fics that are not Lawlight. In over 20 fics, you’ll find Mikalight, Light/Misa, Misa/Takada, Misa/Rem, Light/Namikawa, Beyond/Light, Light/Matsuda, and even a few ones with Light and my DN OC Lizard. All nsfw fics are marked as such.

hereditary https://archiveofourown.org/works/17159354 All the Tumblr prompt fics I wrote specifically about the Yagami Family. About 4 fics long, includes a really nice couple of Sayu and Light sibling sadness fics.

bottom shelf erotica https://archiveofourown.org/works/20899706 E These are the 5 fics that I wrote to fill Death Note kinkmeme prompts. They are few frills, dirty, sloppy, all bottom Light smut fics. Also, since I didn’t want to give myself away on kinkmeme they’re all cis stuff. (because really who else would have been throwing trans smut up there?)

something between us (anyway) https://archiveofourown.org/works/30304620 T, E a slowly updating collection of 10 tumblr fic requests I received for the pairings of lawlight and (my DN OC) lizard/light, covering prompts including omegaverse, coffee shop AU, sexy lingerie, and much, much more.

kinktober 2021 https://archiveofourown.org/works/34235686 E, T updated each saturday of Oct. 2021, these five fics all revolve around lawlight and specific kinky prompts.

GIFT EXCHANGE FICS

your father’s son https://archiveofourown.org/works/15115568 T A Secret Shinigami 2018 gift for AbbodonAbandon. Light and Soichiro have a talk about why Light quit the tennis team. Lots of trans shit in here.

in your shoes https://archiveofourown.org/works/22405516 E A Sexy Enquirer 2019 gift for @pashmina-dhaage. L is a professor who is having a quiet relationship with one of his grad students, Light. When he sees Light through his office window stepping in mud, L rushes to give him the shoes off his feet.

wash it out https://archiveofourown.org/works/22405648 A Sexy Enquirer 2019 gift for @complicatedmerary. Mikami and Light, a pianist and violinist respectively with the same opera company, are carrying on a passionate affair while Light remains married to the opera’s soprano, Misa.

Thank you for Reading, Commenting, and Being Nice to Me About My Silly Fic!

#me me me #subtextual #death note #lawlight #my fic #death note fanfiction #woof! okay!#i know i'm posting at the worst time #but i'm gonna pin this so everyone can see

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scuttle-buttle · 3 years

Text

Pairing: Niki Lauda (Rush 2013) x OC Catherine/Reader

WC: 1104

Rated: T

Chapter Tags: pregnancy & labor, fluff, implied sexual content, mild hurt/comfort

A/N: I hate myself for referencing the song “Mama Laudaaa” but at the same time I couldn't help myself.

💛

Niki was in Belgium when your pains started. The 1981 season had been going quite well, but in your late condition you were forced to miss out on the last few races to stay home. He would always come back to you as soon as he was able, so as to not miss anything.

Finding out you were pregnant wasn’t a shock to either of you. Niki had brought up the idea one afternoon as you sat on the couch reading; you had never really considered having children, but the thought of little Nikis with curly hair running around opened a new desire within you. Going off the pill, you and Niki enjoyed yourselves, probably a bit too much, until the doctor confirmed your condition. Now, a year later you were almost ready to pop.

Gripping your rounded stomach, you groaned as the pain ebbed and flowed before stopping all together. The last few days you had been experiencing it sporadically. The doctor had informed you over the phone that it was just false labor and was very common at the end. Still, you didn’t want to worry Niki. You would tell him when he got back, you decided.

A sudden gush of fluid at your feet brought you back to the present. Quicker than was usual, another spasm wracked your abdomen. Oh. Your doctor assumed you had another 2 weeks before you would go into labor, but babies had a knack for doing what they wanted on their own time.

“Mum?” you yell out to your mother in the living room. You had taken her up on her offer to stay with you the last weeks of your pregnancy and birth. One breath in, one breath out.

“Alright, love?” she called from the other room.

“Mum, it’s time…”

Walking into the room she spotted the puddle at your feet. “Oh darling…” she gave you the happiest smile as she grasped your hands. “Let’s go have a baby!”

She busied herself grabbing the bag you had packed for the hospital and making sure everything was locked up and ready to go. Sitting at the kitchen table, you attempted to use a dishrag to dry your legs and feet. There was no way you could bend over to wipe the puddle of fluid off the ground, so you simply tossed the rag over it. Distracting yourself from the waves of contracting muscles, you pick up the phone to dial the number Niki had left you.

“Si?” It was Arturo that answered.

“Arturo - it's Catherine. Has the race started?” You do your best to keep your voice neutral.

“Mrs. Lauda! Ah, no. They will line up in about an hour.”

“We’ve been friends for years - how many times must I tell you, it’s just Catherine,” chuckling at his antics. Arturo gives a non-committed grunt in response.

You can hear the crowd and sounds of power tools and engines over the line. “Alright. Could you do me a favor - as soon as it’s over would you tell Niki I’ve gone into labor?” A groan escapes you as another contraction hits, stronger than before. “But only when it’s done.” You don’t need the father of your child being distracted as he hurls himself hundreds of miles an hour down a track.

“Oh! Si! Of course! Good luck, Mama Lauda!” Arturo was perhaps the biggest fan of your relationship with Niki - besides James and Elena, of course. The call ends shortly after that. Your mother carefully helps lower you into the car and you drive off to the hospital.

💛

Several hours pass. You’ve paced the floor, eaten ice chips, and tried to watch some silly soap opera on television. The gown makes you feel as though you are a blimp, adding to your frustrations. Hunching forward as another contraction rips through you, your knuckles white on the edge of the small table in the delivery room.

“They're getting closer, love. Shouldn't be long now.” Your mother rubs your back in comfort.

Still gripping the desk, you can feel the tears well up in your eyes. The pain is awful, but that’s not what causes the overwhelming emotion to take you. I need my husband. I need Niki. She notices as your shoulders begin to shake.

“My dear, what is it? What can I do?”

You sniffle, standing upright and facing her. “M’sorry mum… I just wish he was here is all.” Wiping your eyes you add “It’s silly. He’s off competing and I’m feeling selfish wishing he were here with me. I know he’ll come as soon as he can. Christ, I cry at the littlest things anymore...”

She wraps her arms around your shoulders and holds you as close as she physically can, your bump between you. “I’m sure he’ll be here late tonight. They don’t typically let the husbands in during the birth anyways.”

A knock on the door startles you.

It’s Niki.

“Sorry I’m late,” he says casually as if he’s arrived at dinner after the designated time.

“What are you doing here?” The clock on the wall indicates that the race in Belgium would have only finished an hour ago at most. There’s no way he could’ve gotten here as quickly as he did, unless…

“My wife is having my child.” He steps into the room. “I overheard your call. Arturo is not good at keeping secrets. So I left.”

Your tears run anewed at his confession. Pulling him in by the front of his jacket, you bury your face in his chest. Tears of joy soak his shirt but he didn’t care.

Just as another major contraction hits the doctor enters the room. He instructs you to lay back as he examines you for the millionth time that day. With a nod he lets you know it’s time. Niki stays by your side.

💛

The birth is an otherworldly experience. You can’t say you have ever felt anything as excruciating or exhausting in your life. But when you look at Niki as he cradles his daughter in his arms you know you would do it all over again if it meant being able to see the look on his face. The look of pure adoration, of pure love.

He sits next to you on the little bed, his hip alongside yours. Niki’s eyes meet your own; they are tinged red. You smile. Brushing a finger against the soft curls on your daughter’s head you say “she has your hair.”

He hums and smirks. “As long as she has your personality. There’s only room for one arschloch Lauda in this world.” You can’t help but laugh.

Tag list: @ay0nha @apparrio @livvyshmiv @fictionlandslanddreams @vinylrosess @typical-bistander @ntlmundy @mymagicsuitcase @anteroom-of-death @somethingthatsaysbubbles @lieutenantn @multiversemarielle @trashbin2 @whatawildone @metalbreakfast @laura-naruto-fan1998 @greeneyedblondie44 @godidontevenknowwhat @marchingicenotes7 @loliissmut

#beyond the checkered flag #swte scuttle buttle #scuttle-buttle #daniel bruhl #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl niki lauda #niki lauda rush 2013 #rush 2013 #niki lauda x reader #sleeping with the enemy #niki lauda fanfiction #niki lauda #daniel bruhl fanfiction #pregnancy fic

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whisplion · 2 years

Text

A Symbol of Home

A/N: A bit late but my entry for @whitebeard-pirate-week day 1: tattoo. I decided to write my op oc for this.

Ace x OC

wc: 1.4k

—-

The breathing on Levi’s neck was an annoyance as she looked over her current hand. The cards she had weren’t a bad bunch, but it was hard to concentrate when her shadow kept looking over her shoulder.

“So I heard you are getting your tattoo tomorrow. Why am I just hearing about it now?” She asked, moving her cards placement in her hand.

She felt her boyfriend sigh heavily, making her body move, and he just shrugged. “I honestly just forgot everyone also knows, so I assumed you did.”

Levi hummed as she looked up to see Thatch, Jozu, Deuce, and Banshee were all still looking at their hands.

“Where are you getting it?” Ace tightens his hold on her waist.

“On my back, so everyone knows who I devoted myself to.”

Levi smiled at the notion Ace had come a long way from the man she met almost a year ago. “You’ve changed Ace,” she laughed.

“I hope that’s a good thing.” He mumbled, burying his face into her neck.

“Of course it is!” Levi exclaimed.

After finishing the last round, which Levi won easily, she dragged Ace back to Whitey Bay’s ship. Not wanting to share the barracks in the second division. Her aunt hadn’t even hated an eye when she had returned with Ace in tow.

They lay cuddled up in the bed in the dark, Ace humming in his sleep as Levi ran a hand through his hair. Ace hid his face in her chest as he wrapped himself around her body.

“I missed you, you know,” Levi’s stroking stopped as she leaned back down to look at him.

Ace peaked up at her before looking away quickly as she just smiled and kissed his forehead. “I missed you too, firecracker.”

Levi hadn’t seen Ace in about three months before he; set sail for Sabaody before entering the New World. New of his rejection of the Warlord status had been shocking, but then nothing until a month ago. The rumors of the Spade pirates joining with Whitebeard had spread like wildfire. A talk Levi had to see for herself, so she rang for her aunt and set out to meet her at Sabaody.

Their reunion was not spontaneous, and seeing his shocked face was enough for her. They hadn’t set anything serious about their relationship at the time, just a goodbye kiss and promises of rekindling.

It was the first night on the Moby after another party that they had kissed in the shadow of one of the masts. It had been brief but meaningful as they said good night that first night. Several days later, they were officially alone, and Levi couldn’t be more content.

“They make you feel whole, don’t they?” She asked after a while.

It was something she had worried about for Ace when he seemed to have no sense of what he truly wanted. Seeing him among people she considered family made her heart warm, but she needed to know from his own words.

She felt him shift, making him take the warmth with him until he lay on his back. Ace stared up at the ceiling, and Levi watched him silently.

“They do,” he whispered into the darkroom.

“It reminds me of when…I was young back in East Blue with Luffy and Sabo.” Ace trailed off, making Levi scoot closer to him until she leaned over him. She rested her right hand on his cheek and turned his face upward; his eyes shifted to hers.

“I’m glad you deserve to be happy, Ace, and that you found something you have needed.”

Ace’s brows furrowed at Levi’s words before leaning into her hand and closing his eyes. Eventually, they did fall asleep, with Levi holding Ace close the entire time.

The following morning had them both seated in the sixteenth division commander’s room. Ace laid out on a cot in the center of the room with Levi sitting on the commander’s bed. While he had glared at Levi, he was preoccupied poking a stick into her boyfriend’s back.

“So, have you been doing this long, Izou? I didn’t even know you knew how to tattoo?!” Izou looked over at her for a second before returning to his task.

“I’ve been doing this for many years. I learned to do it before I left Wano,” he replied.

“Ouch!” Ace whined.

Levi looked down to see Ace had been pricked with a small flame breaking out on his skin in retaliation, making Izou curse as he put it out.

“Seriously?” he muttered.

No blood surprised Levi, but she supposed that it made sense Ace was made of fire after all, and something so small would not draw blood. Ace smiled sheepishly at the other man and went back to facing forward as Izou huffed and started coloring in the mustache again.

After a while, Levi slid off the bed and walked around the room, stretching her legs after sitting for so long. She made her way around the cot and stood before her boyfriend, who was asleep. Of course, he would fall asleep while getting tattooed. She smiled. It was just more proof to her that Ace was comfortable here.

While he has a sleeping disorder and falls asleep randomly at times, this was a bit different as Ace would never fall asleep intentionally with people around he didn’t trust. Deuce had told Levi that in the beginning, Ace would not sleep on the Moby unless he was with his crew or hidden away somewhere in the ship. At least now, when she left soon, he would be in good hands until she returned.

She kneeled in front of him and pushed his hair out of his face as he continued to sleep. He looked so relaxed with his head tucked onto his arm, and it made her heart warm even more as he shifted, leaning into her touch on his face.

“He talks about you a lot, you know,” Izou spoke. “Not as much as he talks about that brother of his, but every so often, he will mention you. Usually only for a brief moment and gets far away lol in his eyes.”

Levi stood up as Izou wiped the area he was working on and returned with the needle.

“I'm glad he has you,” He added, giving Levi a simple smile.

Her face heated at the information twirling her fingers with a braid as she smiled down at her lover. “I’m glad he has you guys too,” She added before sitting on the bed again.

Izou was finishing up as Ace began to steer from his slumber. He yawned and looked around sleepily. “Finally awake, I see, and just in time, I’ve just finished up.”

Ace leaned up on his elbows and turned his head, trying to get a glimpse of it. He was stopped by a hand shoving his head back down onto the cot.

“Don’t do that, idiot; I just finished inking it; it needs to be wrapped up!” He scolded, making Ace pout.

“Oh, come on, let me see it first!” Ace whined.

Izou rolled his eyes, making Levi giggle as he sent her a glare which she shrugged. “Fine,” Ace grinned as he quickly got off the cot and walked over the floor-length mirror across the room.

Levi moved to the edge of the bed and watched as Ace twirled around to get a better view. The fresh coating shined in the dim lighting of that part of the room. It was the same tattoo as Pops, and she knew that made it all the more special to him.

He finally turned around, and he was beaming like the sun. “I love it!” Izou was unwrapping a transparent material as Ace walked toward him. “Thank you, Izou.” He added.

Izou smiled at him as he gestured for him to turn around. Ace did as he was told. Taking a bottle from the table next to him, You smeared the contents all over the tattoo before placing the wrapping on top of it.

“There, you should keep this on for at least one day, and if you do take it off afterward, be gentle with it for at least a week. Got it? The pointed look he gave Ace had him nodding firmly.

Levi stood up from the bed and walked over towards them, and placed her arm on Ace’s shoulder, getting a good look at his back.

“You like it?” The slight doubt in his voice made her squeeze his shoulder in reassurance.

“Yes,” Was all she said, and Ace smiled down at her before taking her free hand in his.

“Come on, then let’s go show Pops!” He chirped as he dragged Levi off towards the captain’s quarters.

#one piece #portgas d. ace #one piece oc #oc x canon #whitebeard pirates

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swtorpadawan · 3 years

Note

#5 for corellan and the hurt/comfort prompt thingy please and thank you ☺️

Limits

Author’s Notes: OC Response Meme – Hurt / Comfort – “Please don’t beat yourself up.” Thank you @amlovelies ! Sorry this took so long! Reader Warnings for sexual and / or highly sensitive content. This story takes place sometime before the start of Knights of the Fallen Empire.

Kira Carsen snuggled into Corellan Halcyon’s arms, tucking her head into his neck as they lay in bed together.

She hadn’t felt this guilty in a long time. Not since that time Vitiate had possessed her on Darth Angral’s flagship, maybe.

No. she reflected. This is worse. This is all on me.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered.

Corellan shifted and leaned in, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Don’t be.” His fingers caressed her hair. “There’s nothing for you to apologize for.”

“I wasn’t thinking.” she sniffed. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“We were trying something new. That’s all.” His voice was calm and comforting, like always.

Kira didn’t want to feel comfortable at this moment.

Kira bit her lip.

“I hurt you.”

“You didn’t.” Corellan said firmly, then he paused, looking up at the ceiling. “Well, okay, I am a little sore, but I’ll be fine.”

She harumphed; he was missing the point, she could tell.

“But you didn’t like it.” Kira insisted. “And I didn’t realize it immediately. You’re my partner. You’re my… everything. And I didn’t realize it wasn’t good for you.”

He just chuckled.

“Well. I probably didn’t help with that any. I was doing my best to… find a way to enjoy it, I guess.” He sighed, like he was disappointed at himself. “I don’t think I got there. Maybe I’m not very good at this thing?”

“That’s… what?” Kira looked up at him, shook.

Corellan looked down at her.

“I mean, I’ve enjoyed everything else we’ve tried. I guess I just assumed if I wasn’t enjoying something, it was because I was doing something wrong. Honestly, I’d be willing to try it again… though maybe not for another day or two.” He added reluctantly.

He’d said it all the way they might have been discussing some lightsaber maneuver.

“We’re never trying that again.” Her voice was hard, even if the rest of her was quaking. “You were letting me take advantage of you.”

“How? I consented. I didn’t totally understand it, but I consented.”

Kira bit her lip as she felt her brow furrow. How can I explain this? He’d do anything for me.

“But you know I would have stopped if you had said anything?” she pressed him. “We agreed on that ‘word’ for a reason.”

“Of course.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“I thought if I kept at it long enough, I’d figure out what I was doing wrong.”

She groaned in aggravation.

“You always want to test your limits, don’t you?” she shook her head. “How are you not angry with me right now?”

“I can’t get angry with you.” He countered, gazing at her serenely. “You can’t make me angry with you. Confused? Sure. You’ve been throwing me off since the moment we met. Frustrated?” he smiled thinly. “Once or twice. But I’ve never been angry with you.” He smiled at her reassuringly. “And I never will be.”

Kira looked down, burying her face into his chest as her cheeks started to flush in embarrassment.

“Why did you agree to it if you didn’t get it?”

“Well, you seemed to think that having me like… that would be something we’d enjoy. And you’ve always been right so far.”

Kira let out an exasperated huff, still not looking at him.

“You’re just so big and tough, you know? The greatest hero in the galaxy. I… do kinda get turned on occasionally when I’m in control. And it’s not that I don’t love it when you do things to me; I do! It’s great. It’s just that every once in a while, I like to have you all to myself.” Kira blinked; her eyes were starting to water. Dammit. I don’t want him to see me cry. “But I’d never want you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with.”

She felt him reach down and take her by the chin, gently tilting her head so he could look into her eyes again. As she looked up into his own icy blues, even in the minimal light, she could see the reflection of her own pain and guilt. But she saw nothing but trust and affection in his own. Corellan drew her in, softly kissing the tears from her eyes and cheeks.

“Don’t beat yourself up, okay?”

She felt his confidence. His complete certainty in her, and what they were to each other. It felt like she was leaning up against a duracrete wall. Or something stronger than that, given that she had seen him go through a couple of duracrete walls over their time together.

“Okay.” She nibbled at her lip again. “But can you do me one favor, please?”

“Anything.” He promised her without hesitation.

“Will you promise me that if I’m every doing anything that you aren’t comfortable with… that doesn’t feel good… you’ll tell me right away?”

Corellan eyes flickered and then he nodded.

“Of course. I’m sorry I… well. I’m sorry I didn’t handle that situation well.”

“Don’t be sorry.” She scolded, processing everything he’d said. “Are there other things we’ve done that you… didn’t like? Or are there some things you’ve liked more than others?”

“Well.” He turned and looked up at the ceiling again. “I think I’ve liked everything. Maybe not … what we did tonight. But everything else has been good.”

She softly kissed his chest, her deep blue eyes never leaving his.

“Anything in particular?”

Corellan smiled again, looking down at her tenderly.

“I do love looking into your eyes when we’re together. Its… reassuring. I feel like I know exactly what I should be doing. Everything feels so… right. There’s a lot of things I don’t understand at first, Kira. A lot of things I’m not completely sure about. But I am sure about you. And us. I always have been.”

Kira felt overcome with tenderness for him just then. She pulled up and pressed her lips to his, gently pushing him onto his back as she straddled him. As their lips pressed together, she felt a familiar warmth growing within her.

“Listen.” She broke the kiss and looked down at him. “I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t blame you for not being in the mood, but… can we do something? Right now, I mean? Whatever you wanted? Just to make me feel better?” she bit her lip. “I just want to take care of you.”

“Whatever I want?” he quirked an eyebrow down at her. “Honestly?”

“Yeah.” Kira looked up at him, swallowing whatever doubts she’d felt. They trusted each other completely and the chemistry was perfect. She was prepared for anything he would want to do.

Except for what he did.

Corellan took her in his arms and gently turned her around, pulling her back against his chest before turning them both onto their sides. He drew her in closely, his arms wrapping around her waist and his chin coming over her shoulder, allowing their bodies to touch from her head all the way to her toes. She sighed in surprise as she felt him ‘spoon’ her.

Here, there was no limit in how close they were.

“I love all of it, Kira Carsen.” He whispered into her ear. “Every moment we’re together. Everything we try. But the only thing I need is you. Out there, we have our duty. In here, you always have me to yourself. There is no place I would rather be than right here.”

Kira sighed as a comfortable fatigue washed over her. There was no place she’d rather be, either.

Author’s Notes: FYI – The safe word Kira and Corellan use is ‘Teeseven’. Insert your own joke here.

Tagging people who liked my teaser - @swtorshipping , @the-raven-of-highever , @tishinada , @jeverest00 , @taraum , @the-jedi-knight-enjoyer , @j-the-jedi , @a-muirehen , @itstheelvenjedi , @ask-an-andalite , @blueburds , @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond ! Oh - and @swtor-writers-guild !

#swtor fanfiction #swtor fanfic #swtorpadawan #oc: corellan halcyon #amlovelies #OC Response Meme - Hurt/Comfort #swtorpadawan asks #swtorpadawan writes

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guudak · 4 years

Text

andante, andante

pairing: jungkook / oc genre + tags: college au, f2l, alcohol, pining word count: 7,522 The aftermath of your best friend singing that ABBA song, clumsily flirting with you and then drunkenly professing his love to you multiple times in the same night.

“Is he ok? Namjoon, what’s he doing?”

“He’s severely hungover,” he explains to you, propping an arm on the windowsill. His hand gestures. “This is his remedy.”

You look out the window again, overseeing the frat’s backyard, and down below at the deck - is the person you sought. The gales shake the trees, you can hear it howl, and not to mention the downpour of rain that had you soaked to the skin through your jeans between your sprint from the bus stop to here. You look back at Namjoon, disbelieved. “What, sitting in a hot tub outside in the middle of a hale storm?”

“Erm, well, not the storm bit. That was just unfortunate. Sitting meditatively in a hot tub though, yeah. He does that a lot, moreso when he has something on his mind.” He peeps a discreet eye at you while you claim a seat on the ledge. Your arms cross, huddling your oversized cardigan over yourself as you glance back at the mop of matted black hair on the deck. Jungkook is sitting very still, laying back, eyes closed and his neck craning upwards towards the gloomy sky. A breath of air expels from your nose when you imagine how cold the rain must be.

“I really wanted to talk to him in person … I don’t know, do you think I should have waited a few days?” You turn to Namjoon who shakes his head.

“It’s good you came here. I think it would have left him to assume the worst and overthink otherwise, and you know what he’s like - better to confront him sooner than later. He’s been in a kind of sad, mopey daze since this morning.”

Your lips purse together as you mull this over. “I don’t necessarily want to confront him about it now, not if he doesn’t want to yet. I just want to see him and … make sure he’s ok. Because you know, that … overthinking thing he does.”

The upward lift of Namjoon’s lips is soft, the same kind of softness that’s perceptible in his eyes. The look reminds you of Jungkook’s own gentle demeanour. “I think seeing you here will disorient him a litte, but I think deep down he’ll be relieved. ”

He invites you to sit in the warmth of the lounge downstairs while you wait. The house of Beta Tau Sigma is cosy, and your favourite visits are always during the winter period when they’d decorate the interior, reminding you very much of the setting of a classic Christmas movie. Alas, however, it isn’t winter, and there are still strewn cups around and a broken lamp on the table in front of you; consequence of the party they hosted the previous night.

You’re surprised Jungkook remembers. He’d been so far-gone yesterday, yet you woke up this morning to four successive texts from him -

i’m sorry

im so so sorry.

can we talk

please

You’d thought over a tactful reply; taking into mind Jungkook: despite the calm, rational front he has - is emotional, an individual with a soul as sensitive as they come. You had to be careful with what you said, but soon after aborted all efforts when you’d found yourself backspacing each time. You prefer face-to-face conversation, and for something like this - you couldn’t possibly venture any other approach that would be befitting. For anyone else, perhaps. But Jungkook isn’t just someone else. He’s your best friend.

You check the text in reply that you’d left for him from two hours ago, which is still left unread.

hi jungkook i’d love to talk

are u ok

Sleeping it over had dulled the shock from the night before, as hearing it from him had been a double whammy for both your head and heart. You hadn’t known what to think, hadn’t known what to say.

In his tastefully tipsy state he’d been very happy. The chirpy go-lucky sort of happy that made you coo. Tipsy Jungkook is sweet and endearing, more affectionate and made it his mission to pull you with him to the karaoke machine. You’d been friends with him long enough to know that he could sing. He’s a soft singer; has a voice that could be lullaby to late sleepy evenings, it’s one you’d heard snippets of because he did it without conscious thought; he hummed in the car, while waiting in line - one of his many mannerisms that makes clear when he’s in his head.

“ABBA? Good choice,” you’d commented, after he jabbed the numbers on the remote. He budged over so you could sit beside him on the armchair. So cramped and close that you moved to drape your leg over one of his, and he welcomed it. “Not their most popular song, but definitely one of their most soulful. That’s a good one, it’s one of my favourites,” and then he stilled.

At the cease of his movements, you’d found your spine straightening just slightly, as if on guard, but for what you hadn’t been sure. You were about to ask him if he was ok, only to be taking the brunt of his bright puppy eyes that smile at you.

“Me too,” he’d said, with that characteristic gentleness shining in his orbs.

A few hours later, he’d morphed from sweet boy-next-door with the angel voice to himbo football jock slash and quote “pussy-whisperer,” courtesy and words verbatim of Park Jimin, who vibed with Jock Jungkook like a long lost brother.

The amount of girls that suddenly flocked to him and sat on his lap had you reeling in hysterics to the extent that you had to bury your face in Hoseok’s shoulder. Even when Jungkook’s on the football team, you’d never thought of him once as a jock. Didn’t they say all jocks are athletes, but not all athletes are jocks? He’d never lived up to the greasy college stereotype. Turned out maybe some alcohol was missing in the mix. Was this what you were missing? Who knew he had it in him?

“How many have you had, man?” Hoseok had asked, and Jungkook grinned, mouth lop-sided, before then thwacking him solidly on the back.

“I’m good, thanks for asking, man.”

“That wasn’t what I - ok,” Hoseok winced, clutching at his shoulder blade, and exchanging a bemused look at you.

You were alert to the sliding gaze of Jungkook on you. He slid into the chair close beside you, and you propped your elbow onto the counter. Head resting in your palm, you’d anticipated it.

“Hey, cutie.”

And there it was.

Your mouth twitched during your attempt to stifle your laugh, but you were eager to play along. You straightened, not shy to look him direct in the eyes, even when his own wandered to your midriff. “Hey.”

A moment’s pause, before he let out a wistful sigh.

“Holy shit, I love your boobs.”

Hoseok spat into his cup, a succession of coughs after.

“No, I’m just saying, from a non-biased, impersonal point of view …” He made a vague, rounded motion in the air with his hands, “- they’re really nice. I’m saying this objectively.”

“Objectively,” Hoseok wheezed. You aimed a calculated kick at his ankle.

“Thanks! They’re not much but they’re cute, I grew them all by myself.”

Jungkook hummed in acknowledgement, a critical eye on you and his head bobbing solemnly. “You did a good job.”

“Oh my God,” Hoseok was crying; head ducked, full-blown tears of laughter, ears pink and slapping the countertop. “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

“Yours are pretty neat, too,” you told him.

He looked down at the outline of his chest. “You think so? I’ve been working out but they could do with a bit more volume.”

Hoseok was doubling over, desperate to leave but at the same time rooted to the spot, thumping his chest to stop himself from choking. “I can’t take this anymore. I’m gonna die if I stay any longer. See you, guys.”

He left, leaving you alone with Jungkook and a few others in the kitchen. “You alright?” you asked, and he nodded again, smiling tiredly and head lolling a little to the side.

“Did you like the song I sang for you earlier?”

“You sang it for me? How sweet of you,” you cooed, cuddling up to his side. “You know, if you wanted to touch my boobs, if you asked I think I’d be ok with that.”

He seemed hesitant. “You’re bullshitting.”

“Ok, maybe I am a little,” you chuckled, feeling the rumble resonating from his chest.

“Seriously,” he murmured, and for a millisecond, you swore you detected the tone of the Jungkook - not this Jungkook who was a confident force, but the one you were most familiar with, “I think I’d -”

Jimin’s voice boomed above the stereo, “Jungkook! It’s your turn! Get your ass back here!”

A heavy sigh was drawn out from him as he slid his chair back. Though, he waited for you to lift your head from his chest before doing so.

“See you.” He winked at you before following Jimin’s ongoing calls. Though, more of a wink and a half. He never could wink properly with just one eye, both had to be involved.

Then came the finale.

The most recent drunken Jungkook phase - one you’d never witnessed beforehand. If there was anything you could have concluded, it was that beyond his sober level-headed exterior, he must have a lot of pent up anger. Jungkook in drunken phase three transitioned between a three colour spectrum of moods and you’d barely caught up.

Exhibit one -

“The ocean is so important!” he cried, literally cried as he began bumbling about blue whales and the sheer plastic in the ocean, morosed how the first piece of plastic ever produced still hadn’t decomposed.

It was no help that Namjoon enthusiastically joined in - the fucking nerds, until Jungkook started bawling and knocked back the salt shaker on the countertop mistaking it for a shot of tequila.

You’d panicked and dragged him to the nearest bathroom to wash it out of his eyes. The seconds that followed afterwards, was you rubbing his back while he sobbed and puked the hearty contents of his stomach into the toilet.

Exhibit two -

“If any dude is giving you a hard time, chances are - you’re hotter than them. And on top of that, they made you cry, making you a better person than them!” he proclaimed. Once you’d helped him clean up, he’d bumped into Ola - a girl you recalled was in his media class, and was crying outside of the door of the bathroom you and Jungkook had been in.

She’d sniffled her way through a story about a boy she’d been talking to for six months, and Jungkook was as revved up as his ocean speech while he pep-talked her about how heartless the guy was; that he gave good guys a bad rep; and that she simply deserved better. Of course, you’d agreed with him. It sounded all too familiar to something you’d said in the past, though who could blame him for adopting your mannerism of speech when he’d spent so much time with you?

Exhibit three -

“Hey, Chad! Why the fuck do you hate poor people?!”

You were mortified. “Jungkook! Literally, where did you get that conclusion from?!”

“He plays lacrosse and owns a golf cart!”

You groaned, yanking at his arm away from Chad - captain of the boys’ lacrosse team, and who’d also fortunately passed out on the couch, otherwise Jungkook for sure would have had his face beat in. Though, you’d like to think that Jungkook would win, for sure, but you promised sober Jungkook that you’d take care of drunk Jungkook.

So that was that.

By now you’d contracted a stress-induced migraine, by which your own best friend was accountable for. And you thought - by God, did he have to deal with this every time you went to a party together while you’d run rampant? This had been an eye-opener, and you should definitely be considerate next time because drunk people were babies, and not in the cute way either.

And finally: exhibit four.

“Hey.”

You endured all the pet names, had endured being called the Apple of his Eye, Angel Face, and his Compass Star, because flirty Jungkook had been throwing pet names around all night. You’d seen and heard it yourself. But nothing would have prepared you for what he’d say next.

You glanced at him, just a second to look away from your phone screen. “Yeah?”

His eyes drooped, form slouched, and head atop his folded arms on the countertop. It was just after midnight, and the kitchen was a quiet lull, besides you and Jungkook who were sitting together; and then there was Jimin and Taehyung, and Seokjin by the sink in their own private conversation … and whatever it was that Taehyung was doing. Admittedly you hadn’t been paying much heed nor did you endeavour to find out.

Body curling into himself; Jungkook looked so much smaller than when he stood to his full stature.

“I’ve got it bad,” he mumbled, wistfully, “real bad. So bad - I’m doomed bad. End of the fucking world baaad.”

Your hands rubbed at his nape, tender fingers toying with the longer hairs there. He’d been growing it out, and he looked good. You tucked a tuft of hair behind his ear. “What makes you think that?”

Again - the glossy puppy eyes that gazed up, contemplating you like you’d fallen from heaven.

His smile was meek, as shy as the drawling voice that spoke, “I … I really think you’re my soulmate. I don’t like saying it too much but I … like, love love you, but we’re only best friends. Someday you’ll date for real - instead of flings, I’d have to accept it. I don’t think I’ll be ok, but I will be, jus’ will take time to get over you. Have done it a few times before. I’ll be ok.”

Your hand stilled, fingers still tangled in his locks.

Rendered motionless, like air had been punched out of you from the stomach, unable to bring yourself to salvage the words. Breathless, all you could bring yourself to do was to weakly call his name.

He hadn’t heard you, and he yawned, leaning into your touch. His body trembled with his giggles. “One time, you were sooo drunk. You were so drunk, don’t think you remembered - blacked out. You flirted with me that whole evening. After that … after that I became obsessed with you forever.”

It was with a sinking stomach when you’d realised that you couldn’t recall that night at all.

Gulping, you peered down at the mop of tangled hair on the countertop, wishing for nothing else but to properly see his face, but it was half-hidden where he’d snuggled into his arms.

“Jungkook?” you whispered, gently moving away the hair that flopped over his eyes. “Jungkook?’

No reply. Just steady, heavy breathing.

No reply, because he’d fallen asleep.

It’s a splitting headache that rouses Jungkook from heavy sleep. One of those slumbers where he wakes up groggy, as if he hasn’t rested at all despite it being hours since. He tries to get up, but to no avail. His limbs are leaden heavy, and he collapses back onto his bed within seconds of mustering the strength to hoist himself up.

There are a series of knocks on the door but what’s the point of knocking when Jimin barges in anyway. He snickers seeing Jungkook: a sad, spectacular heap on the bed with a bitching hangover to boot.

“Oh, how the mighty have fallen.”

“Shut up,” Jungkook drawls, barely recognising the cadence of his own voice. He throws an arm over his face, brow tightening as he shuts his eyes to recall anything that happened hours prior, but even that’s too much of a Herculean effort that his brain isn’t willing to commit to at nine in the morning. Hangovers are not worth the night before for this - this is a different kind of hell.

Jimin places a glass and a jug of water on his bedside table. “Good morning to you too, sunshine.”

“Thanks,” he replies. He at least has enough strength to reach for the glass. When he sits up a hand goes instantly to knock against his temple, as if it would stop whatever invisible vice it is that’s squeezing and hammering at his brain from all directions. He notices Jimin’s narrowing scrutiny on him.

“You remember anything from yesterday?”

“Honestly, not really. Just some bits here and there.”

“Blacked out, huh.” If Jimin hesitated it’s only for a split second, he stuffs a hand into his hoodie pocket for his phone. “There’s something I wanna show you. Not sure if you’re gonna like it much.”

“Can’t be that bad,” he says, but Jimin proffers a look, and Jungkook frowns. “... Right?”

Jimin licks his teeth in a way that makes Jungkook’s stomach drop just slightly.

“Famous last words, bud,” is all he replies.

The slide of the back doors from the kitchen is what jerks your head up, followed by the sound of feet pattering on tiles. Suddenly, there’s a rise of anxiousness. Until you drum into your head that, no , this is nothing for you to be anxious about. There are the natural nerves budding that stem from confrontation, and you think this may be it.

Towel around his shoulders and dampened hair swept back, Jungkook doesn’t notice you at first when he appears by the doorway. He walks, gazes ahead like his legs are functioning on autopilot - but when he does notice you, he could have skidded. The way he halts and how his body almost springs backwards into the kitchen as soon as he sees your form huddled on one end of the couch, and how Basil - the frat’s cat, is curled by your lap, peacefully asleep and indulging in the soft stroke of your knuckles on his head.

His expression mirrors a man who wants so desperately to sink into the floorboards. Or to dash back into the hale storm and fully immerse himself head to toe into the hot tub’s waters and never surface again.

The first few seconds of silence is heavy. As if you’re both still trying to process the presence of the other. It’s an uncomfortable silence you’re not accustomed to when with Jungkook. He’s always leaned more to the quiet side of the spectrum; introverted, introspective. But silences had always been comfortable, even when you two clashed.

You endeavour for eye contact but he’s suddenly so transfixed on a shadow upon the wood flooring.

“Hey,” you begin, quietly, like the walls are listening in on you. It’s enough gentle encouragement for him to peer up. He hides his hangover well but the mirth, the glint; the starry eyedness that reflected in his orbs from the night before is absent, and no amount of hot tub therapy could conceal the physical and mental exhaustion.

“Hey.” He sounds almost breathless, smothers the tremor in his voice with a cough. “You’re … you’re soaked.”

“So are you.” Your tone is apologetic, “Sorry I came on short notice, I messaged you but I don’t think you saw it.”

He winces. “Right - sorry. My phone died. Haven’t checked it since.”

You muster a small smile. “I thought as much.”

Another breath. Another nervous lilt in his voice. “I’m sorry. Not just the phone thing but everything I said to you last night.”

You sigh. “Don’t be. It’s just … I’m surprised you remember what you said.”

He takes a breath, bicep flexing when he rubs anxiously at his nape. “I don’t,” he admits. “Jimin told me. It’s in this video he took last night of Taehyung eating cake off the floor, you could hear my voice in the background.”

“Ah. That explains it.” Your lips pursed. “Did you mean what you said?”

His eyes round and flash to yours. He chews his lip, throws a glance at his feet. “... Yeah,” he whispers.

“Not just the alcohol talking?”

“No.”

You’re quiet, continuing to stroke Basil who’s still fast asleep beside you.

“Sor—“

“Stop apologising,” you snap. You didn’t mean to, but his shoulders tense, and it makes you wallow in guilt that only he out of everyone has been able to make you feel. You haven’t thought this through and now you’re here you’re saying all the wrong things and asking all the wrong questions. But you remember it’s him, and recollect yourself. “Jungkook - it’s just … it’s just a lot to unpack.”

You peer up, his nod is slow, but he gets it.

He’s tired, you see it clear as day. See it in the trudge of his walk, the dim in his eyes, and neither of you talk on the way up. Not until you reach his room.

Despite your protests, he insists you help yourself to his draws for a spare change of dry clothes. It’s with that thought when you realise you still have yet to return several shirts to him with the promise of them all being washed and folded; washed and folded they are, but you never have been great at remembering to give them back. Putting it into perspective - maybe it is a little weird. Weird for two people who fall under the label of best friends. But then again you borrowed clothes from your own roommates all the time to the point you sometimes forgot whose is whose. It isn’t weird. Right?

While Jungkook goes for a brisk shower, you peel off your soaked clothes, hang them over a spot on his clothes rack. His room is mostly devoid of personal touch, though there are a few photos of his high school football days and some of him and his friends pinned to a board. Otherwise, he’s never had much interest for interior decoration, but he likes his room clean and uncluttered.

There’s a knock on the door a few minutes later. “Are you …?”

“Yeah,” you say. “I’m done.”

The door cracks open, and Jungkook appears, adorned in another change of clothes. His hair is still damp, fluffed at the patches that have managed to dry and his cheeks are pink from the heat of the shower, but he’s less rugged than earlier. Still tired, though. So tired that you don’t question it when he makes a beeline for his unmade bed and collapses face-first into his pillow. You perch on the edge, pulling his duvet over him.

He wriggles closer to the wall, like he’s making more room for you to sit. You appreciate the gesture and shuffle closer. Outside, the wind still howls.

“You should dry your hair properly,” you murmur, fingers at the damp ends of his nape.

“Yeah … prob’ly should,” he sighs, muffled where his mouth is buried in his pillow.

You came here to talk about yesterday night, but maybe it’s a conversation for another time. You out of everyone should know how strenuous it is to have a heart-to-heart while being victim to a hangover that gives you the same capacity as someone half-dead.

You’re staring blankly at the wall, so occupied with the whistle of the winds, so lost in the strands between your fingertips - that when you peer down you’re met with half-open shining eyes, and a lazy blinking gaze directed upwards at your face.

“Yes?”

“Nothing,” he murmurs, like clockwork, and buries half his face again into the plush of his pillow. It’s enough time for you to catch the shy tilt of his lips before they hid again. It’s almost ironic, how you’re the one next to him while he nurses a hangover when it’s always been the other way round. Here, he’s so vulnerable. Your mind wanders to the possibility - what if it was the other way around? An alternate universe where it was you who serenaded Jungkook with karaoke and confessed.

In whatever reality, you imagine him to confront you in the way you did now. Perhaps approached it a little differently, would perhaps be a little gentler, but he would never give you the cold shoulder.

For now, you both pretend there’s been no drunken confession. Best friends, like how it’s always been, and you’ll discuss it all when the time comes.

At some point you’re lowering yourself next to him; your head on the same pillow, and your bodies beneath the same blanket. He’s warm.

And it’s peaceful, as comfortable as it always has been.

“Oh my God, where the hell’s your shirt? I haven’t seen you swim once so far,” you scoff, and Hoseok pulls a sour face.

“You’re talking big for being the one in the string bikini.”

You look at him in disbelief. “Yeah, but I actually used the pool?”

“Scooch over, babe.”

Your eyes roll skyward as he plops beside you on the loveseat. It’s another weekend, another frat, another party, another excuse for Hoseok to walk around without a shirt because there’s a pool. Correction: a further excuse for hoards of frat boys to walk around without a shirt, but at this point you’re desensitised to it.

The music booms, a dull vibration you feel through the ground.

Kappa Omega is infamous for their extravagant parties (at least, as extravagant as college parties can go). Compared to others it’s vastly over-the-top, with most of the guys getting in through connections just like how their college applications got past admissions, but it is what it is. They’re not all bad people, they hold parties for fundraisers but sometimes it can’t be helped not to feel sour when you see what they blow their money on. The Kappa Omega mansion is so big that you’d spent a good portion of the beginning of the night lost.

“Lucky bastards,” Hoseok mutters. He’s said that several times this evening. He’s only here for the booze and the cheese tray. He pops open another beer, chucks the bottle opener onto the low table in front of him, besides the cheese tray he stole from the kitchen. “Which frat party was it again when you blacked out and dived into the pool fully clothed? I can’t remember anymore.”

“We don’t talk about that, thanks,” you utter, wrapping your long cardigan tighter around your torso. “Have you by chance seen Jungkook around? I thought he’d be here by now.”

He looks up, mid-way from tipping back his beer. “Yeah, I saw him some time ago.”

“What, where?”

“Sat with some food by himself somewhere.” His arm gestures vaguely. “He looked a little sad. You know, in signature Jungkook fashion, you know how he gets sometimes.”

Your form slumps. “Right,” you murmur. It’s been over two weeks since the last time you saw him. Not that it’s unprecedented. He has football among other commitments that strung him away for days and sometimes weeks at a time, and you had your own as well.

Be that as it may, somehow it feels like the both of you are drawing the whole thing out. Not purposely, but definitely unnecessarily. Neither of you brought it up in your messages to each other either, and it hit you recently that, well - you miss him. You’ve seen him around campus, but never for too long. Nothing more than fleeting sightings of him and his disheveled hair in a half-pony while he rushes to class after football practice; a hand usually holding onto a snack while the other held onto the strap of his half-open duffel bag, but you only had time to exchange a wave and a look that held promise of your next meeting. The fact remains that you miss your best friend, and it would kill you for your friendship to be awkward because of what happened. You had every intention to talk to him tonight in person, and no dallying or delays this time.

Hoseok’s eyes squint your way. “What’s going on between you guys, anyway. You guys a thing or what?”

You sigh, “That’s the thing, I have no idea yet.”

“Yet.” His lips purse, contemplating you. “He really likes you, you know. So, like, go easy on him.”

Your eyes narrow. “How long have you known, then?”

“As if it was hard,” he scoffs, sitting back. “Guy wears his heart on his sleeve. You have to be thick as a brick not to notice.”

“Wow. Thanks,” you deadpan.

He stabs his fork into the blue cheese. “You know why him and Yerim broke up?”

“Oh no,” you morose, frowning, “don’t tell me it was because of me. I talked to her after they broke it off and she said it wasn’t.”

“Not entirely. But I think she was bending the truth a little so that you wouldn’t berate Jungkook about it. She’s a cool girl, really nice and a good sport. Knew you two were close and accepted that like a champ. But -” and he pauses for emphasis. A pause which is seconds too long, and then finally he puts his fork down, clutches one of your hands in both of his, and waits for you until you’re hanging on to his every breath while he chews and swallows the remaining in his mouth. He resumes, brightly, “it’s not my story to tell. So you better go and find him.”

You shove him. Harder this time - enough that he topples over, and he cackles obnoxiously.

“Prick,” you laugh, but rise to your feet. Your gaze spans the backyard, the pool. You spot a hot tub, but it’s filled with other students who are laughing and raucous.

“Ok, I’m going,” you announce, glancing at Hoseok who’s still very much captivated by the cheese tray before him. It does look really good. “See you in a bit.”

“Yeah, yeah, bye.”

The problem with knowing so many people, and having the same friends as those people - is that in situations where you try to pull yourself away from yet another drinking game you’re taken by the elbow by someone else. Having all of your mutual friends congregated in one domain that is the Kappa Omega House has made your search for the ever-elusive Jeon Jungkook a grand Pain in the Ass. He’s like gold dust. You’ve texted him but you’ve yet to receive a reply.

“Hey, have you seen Jungkook?”

“I saw him at the front porch a few minutes ago?”

“... Seriously? I’ve literally just been there.”

You even scrambled over a balcony and leaped over a hedge when you tried to get away from Chad’s third invitation to join the game of chicken fight in the pool (a parkour stunt that you like to think would put Peter Parker to shame). You give yourself a quiet moment to catch your breath.

It’s then you realise you’re in a part of the backyard you swear you haven’t been in before. You can presuppose why. It’s dimly lit, less people, and the boom of the stereo is still loud, but is more of a distant noise in comparison to the other parts of the house you’ve been in. Like what the hell, how big is this place?

“Sooo, you’ve found him yet or what?”

You hear the voice before you see the face.

Unbelievable. So you cross paths with shirtless Hoseok for the third time and yet haven’t so much as had a hair’s glimpse of Jungkook.

“Nope,” you reply, quite miserably, hands stuffing into your cardigan’s large pockets. You feel for your phone. He still hasn’t seen your message. At this point you’re one teetering step away from letting go of the remaining wisps of your dignity and yell his name through a megaphone with a hope he'll come to you instead … you’ve probably done that while drunk before but you’re nowhere near tipsy now, and that’s besides the point.

Behind you, Hoseok hums, quite serene. When you look back you see he’s lowered his back onto the grass, his eyelids shut.

Eyes scanning this part of the backyard, it’s a different ambience to the atmosphere by the pool. More relaxed. There are students either sat or lying on the grass in small groups, their conversations a low murmur with the occasional twinkling sound of someone’s laughter rising above it. There’s a slabbed stone pathway that leads further up the grass, which then disappears behind a tall row of hedges, and with that you find yourself on your feet again.

“As much as it pains me to leave, there’s only so much of you I can take in one evening before I go crazy,” you tell Hoseok, who’s unbothered reply is no more than a lazy thumbs up from his spot on the grass.

It gets darker the further away you are from the house, but you’re led by the quiet warm-white glow of the lawn lights that highlight the path. It calms your mind to a lull that puts you at peace, something you desperately sought after your hopeless goose-chase just minutes prior.

The waters of a hot tub glow blue up ahead. You skid to a stop when you come closer and see someone’s in there; shoulders immersed and their head just above the water’s surface. What’s the phrase? When you stop looking for something, it finds you? That’s probably not how it goes, but it doesn’t matter. After futile searching, hedge jumping and greasy frat boy dodging, you finally found him. Of course he’d be in a place like this.

His eyes are dazed, mesmerised by the ripples in the water that his smallest movements create. He hasn’t yet noticed you coming.

You pad closer. “... Jungkook?” and like a switch, his spine straightens, goes rigid as a ramrod at your voice. He’s blinking, head shaking side to side as if to snap himself out of the trance that clouds his head.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” you exasperate.

He blinks. “You … you have?”

You scoff, amused at the way his brows knit. “Yeah,” you sigh, stopping so your forearms can lean on the sides of the tub. “May I join you?”

After a beat of hesitation - “Of course you can.”

You shrug your long oversized cardigan off of your shoulders, and double check that your phone is still in the pocket before you chuck it in a heap on the bench. You secure your footing on the step, eyes intercepting his own. His Adam's apple bobs when the rest of your body comes into view, and you shiver at the breeze but warmth engulfs you the second you’re in contact with the bubbling water.

“Feels good?” he asks, and you sigh contentedly, leaning back.

“Yeah.” If you really wanted to, you could fall asleep right here, right now. “What is it with you and hot tubs? Always knew you had a thing for them but never asked specifically why. Or does it just feel good?”

“Mainly that. The guys on my team use the excuse that it breaks up the lactic acid in your muscles after training, but it just feels good when you’re sore.”

“Huh.” When you crack an eye open, he’s already looking at you.

His lips purse. “Did you want to talk?” and when you nod he sighs, wearily. “I wanted to, honestly. But I … I guess I never felt ready to hear what you’re going to say.”

You frown. “What do you think I’m going to say?”

“I don’t know. That you don’t feel that way about me, which I’m fine with. I was never meant to let it slip, but I ended up saying all the things I didn’t want you to hear yet. And while I was drunk, of all things.��

You consider this, broach your tone carefully. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

His eyes avert to the water. “... Eventually. It would have been after graduation. No step three beyond telling you, no secret ploy to get you to fall in love with me, I only would have wanted you to know how I felt. I’d leave you alone and we’d finally move on with our lives. And what better timing than after graduation? But that’s not how it turned out, did it?” He laughs, but it’s with rueful discomfort.

“How long?”

He exhales. “A while.”

“I see.” You think hard for a second. “Even when you were with Yerim?”

He gnaws on his bottom lip, but you can tell he’s honest when he replies with, “Yeah. But I never pretended she was you.”

“Of course you didn’t, you’re not that type of person.”

At last, he does smile at that, and seeing the tilt of his mouth settles a warmth in your heart.

Part of you wants to ask what happened between him and Yerim, but you think perhaps it’s for the best you don’t know, at least now. It’s not your business nor his obligation to tell you.

Before you could dwell too much on your oncoming words, you continue barging forward or you’ll chicken out from what you’re going to say next.

“Jungkook,” you begin. “What if I said yes?”

A pause.

“What do you mean?”

“If you asked me out, and I said yes.”

He’s so bewildered he looks as if he’s just been slapped. Suddenly, something more serious shadows his features. “You know I’d never want you to date me just because. I’m fine with rejection, seriously, I’ll get over it. But I don’t want you to settle for less than what you want. You deserve someone you want, and if I’m not that person, that’s fine. You deserve -”

“Last time I checked, you don’t get a say on what it is that I do and don’t deserve. Who I deserve is for me to decide, so stop cutting yourself so short because you’re more decent than most of the guys I know.”

He shifts, looks away. “So what are you saying?”

“Should we try it?”

“What if it doesn’t work out?”

“Then it doesn’t work out,” you say, simply.

“But then it’ll be awkward.”

“You telling me that you became obsessed with me after I flirted with you for one evening while I was drunk already made it awkward. Not like we have anything else to lose.”

A breath of air expels from his nose in a chuckle. “Oh, ouch.”

“Jungkook,” you sigh. “It’s so easy to be around you. If it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out, but how are we supposed to know how it’s going to turn out if we don’t even give it a chance? It’s going to be awkward either way but we’ll figure it out. Like with all the other crap we’ve gone through. I’ve been with enough guys to know that guys like you come far and few between, I trust you enough to want to do this. You’re one of those few guys I know I can trust, alongside Hoseok. Even though he can be a real bitch sometimes.”

Jungkook doesn’t rebuke you, but he laughs. It’s a sound you’ve never been more relieved to hear.

“So what do you think? I don’t want to force you into it. If you don’t want this, I’m fine with it. If you do, I’m fine with that too. Everything on my end is fine, so what about yours?”

If him confessing happened a year, or maybe two years earlier, you don’t think you would have confronted it in the way that you’d done now. You understand why Jungkook wanted to bide his time. You’re stubborn, fiery, and don’t think things through in the way that Jungkook does. If this happened two years ago, you can imagine you’d have yelled at him on impulse, asking him why, why he let it happen.

But there’s a very particular fondness you’ve honed for your best friend that has unfurled in the years of your friendship, to the point you couldn’t possibly imagine yourself putting blame on him for his feelings. It seems being friends with him has really mellowed you. While Hoseok is the friend you’re most similar to, your other pea-in-the-pod, Jungkook is the friend who balances you out. Someone so different to you, yet someone who still knows what makes you tick.

He’s a friend who doesn’t judge, but yet is always first to call you out whenever you’re out of line. A friend who waits until you’re inside of your dorm building before driving away. The type of guy who pays for dinner and doesn’t expect you to pay him back. A friend who makes sure you’re back home safely when you’re drunk, puts a glass of water next to you and watches over you to make sure you don’t choke on your vomit in your sleep.

Finally, after careful consideration, he nods. He nods, finally.

“So we’re doing this then.” You crack a smile, and he finds it difficult to suppress his own.

“Yeah,” he whispers. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

With an unchanging temper, as still and as serene as waters below the turbulent surface - Jungkook is your anchor, he always has been. The anchor that tethers your feet to the earth when the elements threaten to topple you over.

In the blue glow, you shuffle closer forward on your knees.

“Can I kiss you?” you murmur, and he chokes on his saliva, spluttering. You smile sheepishly. “Sorry it’s weird, you don’t have to let me if that’s going too fast. I just … I want to see what it feels like.”

He hesitates. “Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure.”

He mulls it over, but it doesn’t take much thinking. He stares at you, hard. But then you disrupt the stillness with a disarming smile, and unable to resist, he beckons you over. “Come here.”

It’s odd to straddle his lap at first. In the same way it is when you’re getting on a bike for the first time or any kind of first. He doesn’t make any first move, it’s you who he waits to initiate.

The path of your fingers trail slowly upwards, until they’re splayed against his chest. They remain there, and you detect the quick pattering of his heart, the rise of his chest. His breaths are deep but they’re controlled, and he feels sturdy beneath you.

Jungkook is stupid handsome, with the body to match. But that’s not what swells your heart. It’s not what pushes you to move further forward in his lap and finally press your mouth to the seam of his lips before you could think twice.

It’s how tenderly he gazes up at you. With the same sincerity and adoration he’d shown the night he’d confessed drunk. His eyes, an opening to his soul which is a whole other wonder.

When was the last time someone looked at you like that?

The kiss is soft. No sparks, no butterflies on your end - not yet, but somehow it still feels right. Like missing pieces that have finally fallen into place. Warmth and love spills from him. It saturates your body to the very tips of your ears, all the way down to your toes, like a slow, spreading glow. It feels good.

When shy pecks don’t become enough anymore, you get needy, touching and grasping for more of him. His palms press against your lower back, massaging the skin there, and eventually your mouth parts pliant for him.

“Oh,” he croaks, his head leaning forward so his cheek brushes yours. You can’t see his eyes, and you attempt to move but he curtains the planes of his face with his hair.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, having to strain to catch his whisper.

“I’m embarrassed.”

You chuckle, warmth spreading from the spot on your ear that his lips hover over. “How come?”

“Like, there are probably bricks softer than my dick right now. And … I really, really don’t wanna jizz my pants in a Kappa Omega hot tub. I would have hit my lowest point in life if I do.”

“Oh my God.” You’re almost crying, shoulders shaking with how hard you’re laughing.

“Please, I’m so serious right now. I’d never be able to redeem myself.”

“Would jizzing in an obscenely expensive hot tub be so bad?”

“Yes,” he emphasises. “Really bad, actually. Have you heard of that guy who ejaculated in a swimming pool and accidentally got twenty girls pregnant?”

“That sounds like fake news. There’s no way. Sperm aren’t homing torpedoes, Jungkook. They’d be unviable as soon as they’d be in the water. But if you want me to move back, I’ll move back.”

His face is taut, like he’s trying so hard. “Yes, please.” His eyes go stern, but there’s a nervous jitter you feel with the skin beneath your fingertips. “And just because I think it’s worth mentioning, I don’t think we should have sex straight away.”

“Oh. Right. I see,” you deadpan.

It’s his turn to cackle at the dead-set, disappointed look on your face. “What’s with that?”

Your eyes roll. “You know I’m kidding.” You brush the hair out from his eyes. “Jungkook, will you wait for me?”

His expression softens, and he hoists you until you’re pressed impossibly closer.

“Of course I will. However long it needs to be.”

a/n: when jk says you flirted with me the whole night and i became obsessed w you forever, yea that was from b99

originally posted on ao3! thx for reading!!! <33

#jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook x reader

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biggest-stupidhead · 3 years

Text

Path Walker (Levi x OC)

Summary: Emory and Erwin butt heads

AN: In future chapters there WILL be mentions of sexual assault I will put a warning on that specific chapter and other future chapters that mention mature content.

Word Count: 2.4K

A grunt escaped my lips as I fell to the ground, Annie loomed over me her icy blue eyes burning into my own. I risked a glance at Shadis who lurked on the edge of the clearing with that brooding expression, those hazel eyes locked on Annie and I. Annie followed my gaze and smirked,

"Nervous Black?" Annie purred, leaning forward to hoist me up.

"Never." I snarled, swinging my fist in a wide arc, effectively clipping her chin. She stumbled backwards, surprised by my dirty attack. Shadis raised an eyebrow at this move, not necessarily an impressive technique but definitely unexpected. I gave chase, closing the space between us, forcing Annie to take a defensive stance. When I first started sparring with Annie she almost appeared bored, now she was wide eyed and very alert. I kept my elbows close to my chest as I scanned her small frame for an opening. Annie was about the same size as me, making us a relatively equal match. She danced back a few more steps, seemingly desperate to get away from my lightning quick punches. This time I allowed her to retreat, my cobalt eyes taking in the way her chest heaved and her hair was displaced and slipping from her low bun. The usually composed Annie Leonhardt was only slightly undone but all of your comrades took note. I allowed my eyes to scan the crowd that had gathered. Shadis had also snuck up on Annie and I, his features hard and unforgiving.

"Draw?" I asked, my voice coming out airy as I spoke. Annie nodded, her chest still heaving as she recovered from our tussle. The crowd let out some 'aws' and 'boos' due to our little show ending so abruptly. I dusted off my pants as the rest of the cadets dispersed as Annie and I recovered. Annie held her hand out and I took it, shaking it wordlessly before departing to find a new opponent. I halted abruptly when Shadis called out to me in that hoarse voice of his.

"Black! Your presence is requested in my office." he stood a distance behind me as I raised an inquisitive brow. Odd, sparring practice still had at least another hour. Surely he wouldn't leave the cadets unattended to hold a private audience with me? The thought made my stomach clench with dread, I learned early not to trust men. I paused before saluting him and giving a curt nod. I walked briskly over the training grounds, kicking up dust as I crossed the vast clearing. Finally I found myself in front of the small building that the superiors used to hold formal meetings and also were the few offices on the property were located. I paused, a carriage catching my eyes, a solider stood by the horses, holding the reins. I squinted trying to see the symbol on his military jacket. But he was too far away, and I wasn't very keen on getting caught staring at a stranger. So I walked into the building, heading straight for Shadis' office. I knocked on the door, not expecting a response since Shadis was supervising the sparring practice.

"Come in." I jumped at the sound of the deep masculine voice on the other side. My hand hovered over the knob, had Shadis set me up? Was I about to get thrown in jail? No I hadn't done anything illegal, at least not recently. Was Shadis conspiring with those notorious human traffickers? Was I being sold? No I need to chill the fuck out. I gripped the door knob and pushed the door open. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of Erwin Smith seated comfortably in Shadis' chair, although he rose as soon as I entered. I saluted him quickly, leaving my hand over my heart even though he had dismissed me.

"You gave me a heart attack, thought I was going to be sold into slavery." I sighed as I crossed the room and sank into the uncomfortable wooden chair across the desk. Erwin furrowed his eyebrows and fought a smile off of his lips at my words.

"Why on earth would you think that? Have you been so terrible that Shadis has resolved to slavery as a threat to make you behave?" Erwin asked raising a bushy brow. I scoffed and leaned forward in my seat.

"No, I've been quite good actually." I said proudly, a smile curving on my lips. Erwin smiled fully before turning his attention to a folder that sat on the desktop.

"I've come here today to remind you of the deal that you agreed to three years ago." straight to business, gotta love the guy.

"Yes I recall." I said leaning back in my seat. God has it really been three years?

"Your graduation is in exactly two weeks, and I am very pleased with your rankings." Erwin said as he flipped through the file, his blue eyes suddenly flickered to my face.

"Oh, well I wish I could've made top ten but..." I trailed off, a blush dusting my cheeks.

"Ranked 11th in your class, still an impressive feat, this is a very competitive group of cadets." Erwin said giving me a pointed look. I could only nod at his words, still confused as to why he had come all this way to visit me.

"Anyway, I just wanted to ensure that you would be joining the Survey Corps as arranged, I'm sure as you know our numbers have decreased significantly." he said, slowly standing up, his tall build did make him a bit intimidating. I lifted my head a bit higher in an attempt to meet the mountain of a man without standing. He placed a large hand on the back of my chair, I allowed my eyes to flit over his calloused hand for a moment before turning to meet his cerulean gaze.

"I am aware." I spoke curtly, growing tired of his condescending tone.

"We are in need of promising recruits like yourself and to see you slip into another regimen would truly be devastating. Besides..." his hand slid off the back of my chair and onto my shoulder. My blood ran cold as he leaned down to my level and tightened his grip on my shoulder.

"There's a certain someone who is expecting you." his words sent goosebumps up my spine. It had been three whole years since I had seen Levi. Now of course Erwin was using him as an incentive to stay true to my word. I tensed under his grip, but still managed to nod.

"Does he ask about me?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"No... But I know he thinks about you." Erwin said, I nodded grimly, not really knowing what else I expected, he was kind to even add the last part. I laughed bitterly, "Why do I even bother." I cupped my face in my hands and slowly drug them down my cheeks. Erwin still held my shoulder firmly.

"Just uphold your end of the deal." he whispered, with a final squeeze he released my shoulder and returned to Shadis' seat, sinking into the back rest.

"Don't worry I will." I said, my own sapphire eyes narrowing as I spoke lowly. He waved his hand, dismissing me. I turned and quickly left without saluting him, a small act of rebellion. Gods, fuck that, did he really doubt my integrity so much to make a journey out here to ensure that I remembered the deal? Outrageous, I didn't even want this I never wanted to be a solider. I was only a child when this deal was made. By none other than Isabel, which is the only reason why I have decided to uphold my end.

When Levi, Farlan, and Isabel had been arrested Isabel begged Erwin to go back to the flat and bring me with them, at first he refused. But then when he learned that I was twelve years old he changed his mind. Why you might ask? Simply because he realized that he could make me a solider, a pawn in the fight for freedom. So exactly one year after my family's arrest he returned and gave me false documents, freeing me from the underground city. I stumbled, leaning against the railing of the dining hall, so engrossed in my memories that I failed to see a large rock in my path.

I blinked, the images of the dank city still dancing across my mind. I looked up at the sky to see the sun sinking lower, dinner would begin soon. But my stomach was churning with nerves as I thought about the place I had grown up and the people who had ensured my survival. Isabel, Farlan, Levi, they had saved me gotten me out of that hellhole. Now only two of us remained and he couldn't even fucking write me. I straightened up, pushing off the railing I stormed back towards the barracks, a new found rage instilled in my chest. Or maybe it wasn't new at all, maybe it had always been there, a nagging in the back of my head. Levi was never keen with me, but surely he cared enough to at least ensure that Erwin fulfilled Isabel's wish. But then again maybe he only enforced the deal to honor Isabel?

I frowned, Isabel was one of the few people who showed me kindness during my short life, she was like a big sister to me. I finally found myself struggling to open the door to the barracks, my hands shaking with emotion. With a final shove I pushed into the room, the bunk beds all made with care. I flopped onto my bunk and buried my face in the stiff pillow. I allowed a few small tears fall into the fabric before I finally pulled away from the pillow and breathed a heavy sigh. I looked down where my pillow once rested to see the carefully folded paper that I kept stored underneath the pillow. I gingerly unfolded the worn parchment with shaky hands. My shoulders sagged when I finished, the image that stared back at me made my heart ache. A drawing that Farlan had done only a few weeks before everything changed, a family portrait of sorts, you and Isabel between Levi and Farlan, Levi was drawn with a slight curl of his lip, his own way of smiling.

Isabel looked vibrant and full of life, Farlan looked cool as a cat, and I looked like a snotty brat with missing teeth and ratty hair. At the sight of my messy hair I recalled I memory of Isabel attempting to comb it to no avail, Farlan tried and also ultimately failed. But Levi pinned me to the ground and viciously raked the brush through my hair, and succeeded in detangling the mess. You didn't talk to him for a week after that. A shaky breath left my lungs as I focused on Isabel's wide eyes and the way Farlan's had an arm carelessly thrown over my shoulders. What I wouldn't do to feel his warmth by me again, admittedly I'd had an innocent crush on Farlan. It was only natural seeing as he was the one to take me in so graciously. I yelped when the door banged open, quickly stuffing my precious keepsake back under the pillow. Ymir padded in first, her arms folded behind her head, Krista followed closely after her. Mikasa wandered in after the odd pair along with Sasha and Annie brought up the rear. The lot of us occupied this small section of the barracks, Annie was the only one to spare me a second glance before tossing her jacket onto the bed above mine.

"What did Shadis do with you?" she asked indifferently, such an odd tone that made me think she didn't really care, but still bothered to ask the question.

"He did nothing, it was an old acquaintance of mine that requested my presence." I said throwing my legs over the edge of the bed. Annie raised a brow but didn't question any further, she set to work on unbuckling her harness, and shortly after, stripping her white jeans off. When she tossed the clothing onto the ground a strange scent washed over me. It smelled simply raw a foreign scent that I had never caught a whiff of before. Just as quickly as it had drifted under my nose it was gone, leaving an odd feeling in my stomach. Hm how odd, I thought as I watched Annie pull on a pair of loose pants. Just as I opened my mouth to ask her if she had found a new perfume or something Sasha plopped down on my bed.

"Sorry you couldn't come to dinner, I saved you a little something though!" she beamed as she pulled a half eaten loaf of bread out of her jacket pocket. I couldn't help but smile, in an odd distant way, she reminded me of my dear Isabel, kind and hard headed.

"Thanks Sasha, I appreciate that." I gingerly accepted the gift, and took a bite out of the loaf. Sasha looked pleased with herself, she got up and left me alone on my bunk, Annie crawled up onto the top as I dusted crumbs off my bed. Come to think of it, that scent from earlier was familiar, maybe she used the same soap as someone? No it wasn't a manmade scent, it was strange but somehow I knew that it was uniquely her. Like pheromones or some shit, my nose wrinkled and suddenly I felt over powered by the scent. I looked up to see Ymir passing, her shoulders pulled back proudly. What the fuck, man they reeked how had I never smelled it before? They smelled like sweat mixed with an earthy musk, my eyes watered as the smell continued to overpower my senses. I fell into a sneezing fit shortly after Ymir had walked back to her bunk, drawing some curious glances my way as I continued to sneeze my brains out.

"You alright down there?" Annie asked, her head dangling upside down to look at me underneath her.

"Fine, just.... Allergies." I sniffled, rubbing my arm discreetly over my nose partially to wipe snot away and also to protect it from her scent. Annie brushed her bangs off her face to get a better look at me, her brows pinched together and her mouth opened slightly as if she was about to say something.

"Lights out cadets!" Shadis banged on the barracks door loudly, shutting up every girl in the room. Mikasa got up and extinguished the torch, plunging the room into darkness. I heard Annie settle back into her bed, and I followed suit, my nose still burning from the stench.

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fyeahnevilleslongbottomsocs · 3 years

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DO YOU TASTE OLD SHAME WHEN YOU LICK MY WOUNDS! ⚰️ CAN BE READ ON AO3

❝Catherine Cullen finds a sanctuary in a barn with a vampire army. Her creator is dead, she is free, she owes Maria an everlasting debt for saving her, and Jasper Whitlock evokes a strange feeling within her.❞

part of PETALS FOR ARMOR a twilight au series of one-shots! please read tags before reading the one-shot!

warnings: implied child sexual abuse ( past events ), underage marriage ( it’s like a green card marriage but like still, also past event ), past abusive relationship

pairing(s): Jasper Hale/OC

characters: catherine cullen ( oc ) | aristide athanasiou ( mentioned/oc ) | maria ( mentioned ) | beau ( mentioned/oc ) | marcellus cullen ( carlisle’s father but w/ a name, mentioned )

click on ‘keep reading’ if you prefer to read this one-shot on here instead of on ao3!

"GOOD EVENIN' MA'AM . . . you know the stars are bright tonight," Jasper Whitlock says as he climbs onto the hayloft, he addresses the newest addition to their army with a soft voice. The window to the hayloft is closed, the young woman he talks to sits in the dark almost buried in the hay. She was unlike most of the other members, she wasn't a newborn, in fact she was older than Jasper.

She arrived three nights ago, being tailed by another vampire who is now dead. She sought sanctuary in their barn, asking them to free her from her creator. Jasper had been surprised when Maria readily agreed, she had Jasper and Beau dispose of the creator. Jasper wasn't so keen on the idea of killing the creator as he was once a member of the Volturi and although it seemed that he hadn't been a part of that coven for a century or so, Jasper worried that the Volturi would seek revenge for his death. But, Maria had insisted that the creator had to go, for some reason Maria had taken quite a shine to the woman and that was before learning of her grandiose ability.

The young woman, who introduced herself as Catherine, unnerved Jasper Whitlock. He felt a strange pull towards her even though he didn't know her. She had the ability to alter reality to her will, what she says goes, her creator had been a shield which is why she was unable to will him to leave her alone and she had no idea of the physical strength. In fact she scarcely had any idea about what vampires were capable of, it was odd to say the least. Jasper didn't trust her but he wanted to protect her, it was a feeling he had never felt before. He worries that she might have willed them to protect her but he couldn't tell for sure. The only reason he had yet to say anything is because Catherine wasn't doing anything to harm Maria or the cause she worked for, in fact she was trying hard to help but Catherine was not a fighter.

Catherine looks up at him, her concern and fear melting away into confusion and awe. At least he wasn't the only one who felt that way in her strange presence. Her tense posture softens and she whispers "Are they, I haven't looked tonight, sir."

Jasper crinkles his nose at the title.

She raises a pale, thick eyebrow "You call me ma'am."

"I do it out of respect, you do it out of fear," Jasper retorts and she purses her lips, shoulders growing tense again.

"There's nothing to fear here," Jasper adds gently as he walks over to the big window. He opens it as slowly as he can manage, anything too fast seems to make Catherine jump.

"I can't fight, two newborns took my arm off twice today, I'm useless," She whimpers as she looks at her hands, they're trembling. She had so many human mannerisms that it only made Jasper's urge to protect her stronger.

"You're not useless, you're more powerful than anyone here," Jasper disagrees, "You told us what you can do, you can do anythin'. Catherine, you can make anyone do whatever you please."

She shakes her head "It only works on weak minds that's why I could never make him stop."

"Is . . . Is that what he told you," Jasper wonders, walking back over to her, it was odd to move so slowly, it was hard almost but he didn't want to scare her.

Catherine nods "He said that why it didn't work on him but it worked on that kid and those people I killed. That's why I was able to kill Marcellus because he was weak, he was as weak as he made me feel but not everyone is weak, Aris wasn't weak."

"He was a shield . . . Do you know what that means?"

"Well, I know that a shield is what is used in sword fighting but . . . what does — what does it mean for vampires?"

"He could block gifts used against him, a shield is hard to trace as a gift. The reason you couldn't stop him has nothing to do with your gift being weak, it's not weak, he was. He never told you what he could do, he kept that from you to hold power over you."

"Are you a shield," Catherine wonders, eyeing Jasper up and down, perhaps that could explain why he made her feel the way the way he did. It was similar to the way she felt when she first met Aristide.

Jasper shakes his head, his shaggy honey blond hair swaying from side to side, he kneels in front of her and she moves away from them. This felt all too familiar to her, she slips back into the hay, her hair almost blending right in with it but Jasper doesn't move closer. He keeps still and he replies "No, I'm not a shield . . . I can feel emotions and I can even manipulate them to a point. Maria has told me that you can grow your abilities, at first I couldn't handle my gift at all. Even if your gift isn't the best, it can always grow, it has a long time to do that."

"So . . . It's you . . . You're the one who is making me feel this way," Catherine says and she reckons that are worse things that he could make her feel but she doesn't like the fact that he is playing with her emotions like that.

He shakes his head again, she watches his honey gold crown of curls sway side to side again. This time he brushes his scarred hand through them, taking his bangs out of his angular face "No, that . . . That's not me . . . I don't know what that is but I think I feel it too."

Catherine blinks, another human mannerism that catches Jasper off guard, she stares at him blankly "You think, you cannot read your own emotions?"

"No, most of the gifted cannot use their gifts on themselves."

"I can," Catherine says quietly, "Is that . . . is that not normal?"

"It's interesting . . . Your gift has a lot of potential, you could probably turn yourself into a shield . . . If you think about it, you could make me think that I can't read your emotions and you could do that with anyone who has a gift."

Catherine leans forward, why would he tell her something like that, she raises an eyebrow at him, what was he playing at?

"If you don't want me to I won't manipulate your emotions, not that I have before," Jasper says, "But if you feel safer, I suppose you could do that if it works . . . You should be exercising your powers anyway, Maria would want that."

She moves closer towards him, she feels safe with him, she feels almost, well, she doesn't know how to describe what she's feeling. Catherine has only felt this feeling once before, it comes had in hand with the feeling of safety. When she hovered over Pastor Cullen's broken body, his limbs bent at an odd angle because of her, because she could finally protect herself from Marcellus Cullen the man who made her life a living hell. The pastor who haunted her every waking moment and her nightmares growing up, had finally been at her mercy and she felt safe for the first time in her life, she didn't feel weak anymore. Jasper Whitlock made her feel not weak and she quite liked that.

"You make me feel . . ." She trails off, not sure how to word it but she felt the urge to tell him how she felt although perhaps that would be useless. He probably already knows how she feels.

"I'm not manipulation' your emotions," Jasper says, he sits down on the floor, the hay around them rustles loudly and the floor creaks.

"No, I know but you make me feel . . . I'm not sure but I like it."

"You feel confident, powerful, you're content so you must feel safe."

Catherine licks her lips, powerful? How could she feel something she wasn't?

Jasper watches the action with keen interest, such a delicate action for such a powerful woman. It was unnerving to watch her act so delicately when she could have this entire barn on their knees with a single sentence, she really didn't know her own strength. Catherine could take Jasper out with hardly two words, she was much more powerful than him or Maria and yet he still wanted to protect her. He needed to make sure no one like her creator got their hands on her again. He wanted to be her protector even if he was unneeded.

"I've felt a pull like this before with Aris, it was different . . . I thought he was the devil or a demon but I couldn't stop myself from wanting him. He told me that I felt that way because we were meant to be but that was probably just another lie . . . And this connection, it feels different, I trust it . . . Do you feel that way too?"

Jasper nods, unsure of what to say. In this moment he is just as clueless as her, she moves closer to him and this is the closest she's been to anyone outisde of Maria, her knee brushes against Jasper's knee.

She smells sweet, not as sweet as some humans and her smell wasn't mouth-watering but it was intoxicating. Cinnamon, he believes, which is odd and probably wrong it's been a long time since he was around cinnamon. And then citrus, she had killed a man who had basket of oranges among other fruits in his cart, he had just finished an orange shortly before Catherine had killed him. This was just the previous night, she brought the basket of oranges and various other fruits that no one had bothered to look at but she said it smelt nice so neither Beau or Jasper argued with her decision.

Catherine reaches out and touches his face, her finger trails one of the bitemarks on his jawline and then she blurts out "We should kiss."

Jasper stares at her, he's certainly not opposed to the idea but it had come out of nowhere "Why?"

"Well, this feeling could be unresolved sexual tension."

"Um," Jasper says, "I've felt that before and this is not that."

"Oh . . . Okay, I just thought because of Aris —"

"I think this is what love is supposed to feel like," Jasper says uncertainly, he had never felt that emotion before as a vampire so it could be very different.

Catherine pulls away like Jasper has burned her, she moves quickly and her elbow of the hand she extended towards him goes through the wall of the barn. She's shocked by his statement and Jasper is quick to change his words.

"Well, maybe not love . . . I mean, maybe it's pining, I'm not sure. I've never felt this way before and neither have you, it could be anything," Jasper says.

"We barely know each other," Catherine whispers, "We can't be in love."

They were definitely pining for each other, pining to know why they felt this pull and what it could mean. But, love? That was a highly unlikely answer. Now Catherine Cullen doesn't know much about love, not the romantic kind at least. She believed she loved Aristide but she didn't, she cared about him at one point and she must have tricked herself into truly believing that she loved him. Aristide never loved her, not romantically, he was obsessed with her. He said he loved her but he just felt like she belonged to him.

And her marriage was not built by romantic love, she got married at fourteen to a twenty-year-old man and the marriage was never consummated. It was only to save her from the clutches of Marcellus Cullen; her husband was a good man, her best friend and she loved him platonically. He died a year later from the plague. Romantic love was never her strong suit but she did know sex and she had since a young age, perhaps too young.

Marcellus Cullen had taken everything from her, he had cut off any chance she had at learning what love is. It was his fault that Catherine's father went on that vampire hunt and was either dead or living somewhere in the world. It was his fault that she lived a life full of poverty and hatred. He took her mother, accusing her of witchcraft shortly before Catherine's ninth birthday. And on her ninth birthday, Marcellus set her mother Elspeth Fynch aflame upon the pyre. He forced her to live in the church, and every night he would take more and more from her and even though she had brought him to his end, making him suffer as he pleaded for the mercy he never showed her, it would seem that Marcellus Cullen still took from her even from his grave. Marcellus Cullen would tell her that he loved her though he shouldn't, every night for years. And Catherine knew that was definitely not love.

"I don't think I can love," She adds, "I'm not deserving of it, Jasper, not after everything that I've been through."

"What your creator did to you, that's not your fault, you are not at fault for what others did to you," Jasper says firmly, eyes darkening, lips curling at the thought of anyone treating Catherine poorly, "My sister had her reputation ruined because a man promised to marry her and he lied. My own mother and father won't speak to her, the last I heard from her my nephew had just turned four. It wasn't her fault for what he did to her and yet she's left to deal with the consequences all on her own."

"I'm sorry about your sister but that . . . It's not the same, Jasper."

"She's paying for actions that she didn't cause and so are you. She felt the same way after, she lost everything because of that man and you lost so much time because of your creator, believing his lies he told you to get what he wanted. No, they're not the same but they're similar enough and I stand by what I said, Catherine."

Catherine smiles softly "You don't even know what happened to me."

"I don't need to know to understand that you're not to blame for the actions of somebody else . . . One day, you'll learn to think that too. Acceptance is hard to give yourself but eventually you will."

Catherine kisses him, soft and gentle, cautious. Not like she had kissed anyone before. She pulls away just as quickly as she moved forward, Jasper's eyelids had fluttered shut, his hand frozen mid reach for her arm. He opens his eyes to see her staring at him with uncertainty. His lips curl into a half smile, she just notices now that he has dimples. Catherine hesitantly smiles back at him, he places a scarred hand on her forearm and leans toward.

"Perhaps we should kiss . . . again," Jasper suggests lightly, his burgundy eyes flickering to her lips.

Catherine stares at him, waiting for him to kiss her but he doesn't, there's a pause and then Jasper asks:

"Can I kiss you, Catherine?"

Her eyes widen at the question but she nods her head, she hadn't expected him to want to kiss her. Jasper leans forward and kisses her, more gently than she had him, it surprises her. The gentleness he moves with, he was Maria's best fighter next to Beau, and yet his kiss felt almost weightless. She deepens the kiss, she doesn't know how to kiss this way, it feels strange to her, almost unreal. Almost like this is a figment of her manipulation.

His hand moves to her shoulder, pulling her forward slowly, Catherine breaks the kiss first and Jasper huffs in annoyance but he makes no move to kiss her again, he just stares at her. She tilts her head at him, he was a strange man, but she liked it. She leans forward and kisses him again, this time on the scar on his jaw line and he makes a noise of surprise and Catherine freezes. Jasper lowers his face and kisses her lips, his hand leaves her shoulder and cups her cheek.

When they finally pull apart, Jasper smiles at her, dimples more prominent this time and she feels him radiating happiness, the feeling that she feels for him, and some other feeling she had never felt before but it warmed her. It reminded her of the wool blanket that Agatha's mother had knitted her way back when she was human. A welcomed warmth to fight the years of coldness she had felt.

"I think this feeling is better than love," He says, voice as soft as velvet and Catherine finds herself inclined to agree. This was different then love, this was something she could learn to understand, this was something she yearned to understand.

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norisxfics · 4 years

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NCT 127′s Dorm Maid: Ch.3 - Johnny

Title: NCT 127’s Dorm Maid

Genre: smut

Chapter: 3

Characters: Johnny x OC/reader

Chapter masterlist

Previous Chapter

Contains: fingering, thigh riding, slight choking, dom johnny, squirting

Summary: When NCT’s Dorm maid falls ill, her niece takes her place and becomes NCT’s new dorm maid. NCT weren’t unfamiliar with the girl as she has substituted for her aunt many times before. But this time it was different, this time she was going to become their permanent dorm maid as her aunt was forced to retire because of her health. NCT members quickly grow fond of the girl, but little did she know this also meant that she was going to be a hell of a lot more busy than she expected.

Authors Note: It would be really nice and appreciated if you guys could reblog this if you enjoyed it so that I can get more readers. Liking a post shows me you enjoy it but no one will ever see a content creators content if all you guys do is like the post. Especially now since I’ve heard the tags are being fucked up and not all posts are showing up in the tags

When the boys found out I also play video games on my time off we would often play together online whenever we weren’t busy. We mostly played games like PUBG and other FPS games, sometimes MMO’s. Haechan was the one who most often played with me, he would thank me for playing with him and then proceed to whine about how sometimes the boys won’t play with him even if they’ve got nothing going on. It was cute.

Often times when I’m doing my job he would ask me to watch him play or join him. I would usually tell him to wait until I finish my job but then he would whine and hug my arm, trying to act cute, as he would beg me “It’s just for a few minutes!” It never did end up being only a “few minutes” but I guess you could say those moments are like a break for me.

This time it was both Johnny and Haechan asking me to watch and play with them. I would often help Haechan out as well whenever they played games going against each other I would even lean over Haechan to show him some tricks on the keyboard he could use in the game, Johnny would call it cheating, but I would fight him back saying there was no rules against assisting.

“Noona, you play for me, show him how hard you can beat him like you did to me the other day,” Haechan got off his chair and I chuckled “don’t mind if I do, time to get wrecked Johnny,” I took my place in the chair and started a round with Johnny, and let’s just say that I totally wrecked Johnny. When the round was over Haechan high-fived me and and Johnny let out a sigh “You only won because I let you,”

“Only a sore loser would try to claim that,” I gave a wink and smirked at him, he raised a brow at me.

“I have to go, the dreamies wanna hang out, you guys have fun!” Haechan said as he grabbed his phone in wallet, sliding them into his pockets.

“Bye Haechan, have fun,” I turned to Johnny when he left and smirked “one more round?” Johnny immediately sat up on his chair and we started yet another round. Guess who won?

That’s right me.

“Hah! Get wrecked Johnny, I just made you my bitch,” I gave him a smug smirk and dusted off the non-existent dust off my shoulders. I stood up and fixed my skirt “anyway, I should get back to work, I’ll let you cry it out while I clean,” As I turned to walk away Johnny grabbed my wrist and I turned to him. He stared at me with a brow raised “hold on just a minute, who said you’re dismissed?”

“Huh? I mean, I have to get my work done...”

“You work for us so you answer to us, besides I have somethings to talk about with you,”

“Well, technically I work for SM, SM is the one sending me payche-”

He rolled his eyes, suddenly pulling me to sit on his thigh “First of all I’d like to talk about what you’re wearing today, it’s kind of inappropriate don’t you think? Wearing a short skirt while doing a job that requires bending over a lot,” I had forgotten about that honestly, I intentionally wore a skirt to catch their attention. Ever since that day with Mark my sexual demon that I’ve been suppressing as been slowly coming out. It was exciting, that night, the risk of getting caught, it excited me.

I wanted to tease the boys.

I wanted the excitement.

But I had forgotten about all that while we were playing games, so I was now genuinely surprised.

“Um...well, I can exp-”

“Who said you could talk? I’m not done,”

He gripped onto my thigh, hand slowly moving up “not to mention your actions today as well, the way you were on your knees earlier, wiping the floor in front of me, I bet you did that on purpose, you wanted me to see didn’t you?”

He was absolutely right on point, when I was cleaning the floor I lifted my ass up more when I saw Johnny enter the room, I wanted him to look at me.

I subconsciously licked over my bottom lip, biting down on it as his hand moved up my skirt and over to my ass, while his other hand moved to caress my cheek “and what was that just now hmm? Bending over in excuse to help Haechan, your ass right in my face, you’re just asking for it aren’t you?”

I didn’t answer, I was too distracted by his dark and firm tone of voice. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t wet right now.

His hand soon moved to my throat, thumb caressing against my jawline before he gave a small squeeze to my throat “Answer me.”

I tried so hard not to squirm “Y-yes,”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, Sir...”

He gave my ass a squeeze, his other and moved to the back of my head, pulling me closer to him as his lips lingered over mine for a moment, half lidded eyes looking down into mine before his lips finally connected with mine. Our lips moved in unison as a it slowly get deeper, and more desperate, more desperate from my side that is. My hips involuntarily began to move, grinding against his thigh in a slow pace.

Johnny broke the kiss and mumbled “eager little kitten aren’t you?” he gave my ass another squeeze as he encouraged me to continue riding out his thigh. I held onto his shoulders as my gaze went back to his lips, our lips soon connected again, resuming back into a heated kiss. He tightened his thigh muscle, pushing his thigh up against me, a whimper leaving my lips and into the kiss.

“Fuck you’re so wet right now baby girl, it’s leaking through your panties,” I could feel my cheeks turn red “such a dirty little girl,” he smacked my ass and I jumped a little, biting down on my lip “you like that huh?” he smirked and I nodded.

He buried his face in the crook of my neck, kissing and softly sucking on the skin. I let out a soft quiet moan, followed by another as he spanked me again before gripping my hips, pushing my down harder against his thigh. My hips began to move more eagerly against him.

He then held my hips in place and I let out a whimper as he stopped me.

“Stand up,” he ordered.

And so I did. I stood in front of him.

“Lift your skirt up for me, baby”

I gripped onto the hem of my skirt, lifting it up from him to see me white lace panties. He tapped my inner thigh, I took that as a signal to spread my legs more, so I did. He hooked his fingers into my panties and tug them half way down my thighs.

“What was that you said earlier? That I’m you’ve made me your bitch?”

His fingers slipped between my thighs, softly grazing over my wet folds.

“I think you got it all wrong, because I just made you my bitch,”

I shuddered at his words. I was a huge sub and Johnny seemed to know that. I guess a dom will always know a sub when he sees one, right?

His middle finger slipped in between my fold as he dragged it from my entrance to my clit, teasing it a bit before he paused.

“Want me to keep touching you? To make you feel good?”

I nodded “Yes, sir,”

“Then tell me who’s dirty little bitch are you?”

“Yours, sir”

“My what?”

“I’m your dirty little bitch,”

“Good girl,”

I let out a whimper when those two small words came out of his own mouth. He began to rub my clit, pressing his fingers against it, he moved his fingers in a circular motion pressing firmly against me. I gripped tightly onto my skirt, pursing my lips to muffle my moans.

Hi moved his finger between my folds and began to tease my entrance “you’re such a little whore, getting so damn,” he pushed his finger into me, a moan escaping my lips “wet for me,” his finger pumped inside of me, pressing against my wet walls.

“What am I gonna do with you?”

He added a second digit into me, pumping his fingers faster and harder inside of me. I let out a louder moan, covering my mouth quickly with one hand.

“Even your moans sound so dirty,” he chuckled. He curled his fingers up against my walls, finding my sweet spot. I bit into my hand to muffle my moans and whimpers. My hips were shaking and it was becoming hard to stay on my feet.

“Do you wanna come for me, baby?”

“Y-yes sir...”

“Then beg for it,”

His fingers began to move painfully slow, I let out a whine in protest “Please...please don’t stop, please let me cum daddy,”

“daddy huh? I like the way it sounds coming from your dirty little whore mouth, say it again,”

“fuck, daddy please, please make me cum for you daddy,” I begged desperately, as I squirmed.

“Good girl,”

He inserted a third digit and began to roughly and quickly thrust his fingers into me, making to to curl them against my sweet spot, hitting it repeatedly I gripped onto his arm, moaning loudly, forgetting to keep myself quiet, as my body shook with pleasure, my walls tightening around his fingers as I reached my climax.

My juices squirting out onto his hand and onto the floor.

“Fuck...you’re squirter huh?”

He pulled his fingers out and I sunk down onto my knees, catching my breath. I looked up at him to see him licking his fingers clean as he grabbed his phone before pointing it at me “can I take a picture? You know, in memory of who exactly wrecked who tonight,” he smirked down at me and I blushed.

“I’ll take your silence as a yes?” He held the phone up at and angle and took a photo. I didn’t mind of course, or I would have said no.

“You should clean your mess up and get back to work,”

I nodded.

I had a feeling he was going to start teasing me about this, and I was right. The next time I played a game with him and Haechan online and “get wrecked” would be mentioned, he would text me the photo with a reminder “You mean like how you got wrecked the other night?”

#dorm maid #nct maid #nct 127 #nct #nct smut #nct 127 smut #johnny smut #nct johnny #nct johnny smut #johnny suh #haechan smut #my fic #my story #fanfic #nct fanfic #nct 127 fanfic #nct127 fanfic #kpop smut #kpop fanfic

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alpacaparkaseok · 3 years

Text

Where you should be

8. Thantophobia

Today is a crazy and disappointing day in the US. To all my friends, whether in the states or outside, stay safe. 🤟🏼

Genre: Hobi x oc

Warnings: this series contains stalking, blackmail, and similar stressful/fear inducing situations. Also unrequited love, which is perhaps the most terrifying of all.

Word Count: 4.1k

Thantophobia (n.) the phobia of losing someone you love

I have a few poignant regrets in my life. One of them is rejecting Hoseok over a year ago.

The other is sitting right in front of me.

“Why are you frowning?” Jihun asks me as he downs another glass of whine. “I thought I told you that we were celebrating tonight.”

My wine remains untouched on the coffee table before me, and I make to no to drink it. “Get out of my apartment.”

Jihun shakes his head at me, looking disappointed. “Is that really the way to speak to an old friend?”

“In what world are we friends?”

“Do you really not remember me?”

I huff, sitting on the very edge of the couch and trying my best to hide my phone that I’ve set beside me. “You hardly seem worth remembering.”

Jihun’s nostrils flare as he leans forward. “Now the truth comes out,” he coos. “Did you know that I’ve also had a few friends keeping tabs on your boyfriend?”

I freeze, staring at him in disbelief. “What?”

“They’re there right now, actually. I’ve been receiving updates from them all night…” he takes his phone out to glance at the screen, a wide smile playing across his features. “It looks like Hoseok just arrived at home. I wonder where he was? With you, perhaps?”

I find that I’m unable to answer him, too afraid of what’s about to happen next. Jihun seems to know this, chuckling at my reaction as he scrolls through his phone.

“Oh, you know what could be fun?” He tilts his head to the side, almost replicating Hobi’s endearing habit for a moment, putting a dark twist to it. “Answer me, Ha-rin.”

“What,” I whisper. It’s enough for now.

“In my agreement with Bang Si-hyuk, he made me agree to not release any of the photos I worked so hard to collect to the public. He also had a few other conditions, however I was interested to see just how much he stressed that no actions that could lead to physical harm be taken against the two of you.”

My blood chills as Jihun smiles, looking for all the world like there’s no place he’d rather be than right here, threatening me.

“You can’t harm us,” I breathe out, the bite in my words lost in my fear.

Jihun shrugs. “True. But I was never told that we couldn’t have a little fun with Hoseok’s house, was I?” My heart begins to pound as Jihun looks back down at his phone, completely relaxed. “It’s not my fault if he’s inside it when it happens.”

Suddenly I’m seeing red, bolting off the couch and sprinting for the door. “What are you going to do?!” I scream, tearing the door open and staring back at Jihun who hasn’t moved an inch. “What are you-”

“I already did my part.” Jihun says, stretching before getting on his feet. Prowling toward me like a cat, he gives me a toothy grin as he sidles out the door. “Now we just have to wait.”

I shove past him, taking off down the hallway. Barefoot, eyes wide, and panting as I sprint toward the elevator. As I pound the button over and over, I hear Jihun’s voice from behind me.

“What are you going to do about it? Take the bus?” Placing a hand on my shoulder, he gives a contented sigh as the elevator doors slide open almost as though at his own beck and call. “It’ll be too late, by then, darling.” He glides into the elevator, turning around to give me a mock salute before punching the buttons. As the doors close, Jihun frowns at me.

“You should have left him alone, he would have been much better off.”

I stare at the closed doors for a few seconds, my brain short-circuiting as my heart pounds out of my chest. Think Ha-rin, think.

Remembering my phone that I still have in my hands, I bring it up to my ear.

“Do-yun-”

“I’m almost at his house. Stay inside. Hajoon should be there shortly.”

“But-”

“Inside.”

Practically crawling back to my apartment, I’m barely able to open the door before my knees crash into the ground.

I had called Do-yun as soon as I saw Jihun, hoping that he was listening to every word. Clearly he was, but Jihun’s words swirl around my head as I crumble in on myself.

It’s not my fault if he’s inside it when it happens.

You should have left him alone.

We’re celebrating tonight!

I was wrong to defend him in front of Bang Si-hyuk. Now, instead of playing his tedious games of money and photos, I’m on my knees waiting for the headline to cross my phone. I can picture it so clearly in my head.

Jung Hoseok - dead in an explosion

J-hope dead at the hands of love

World star ‘j-hope’ found dead in his apartment - is Sunny behind this?

“Sunny?”

I bolt up to my feet, throwing myself at the intruder. “Get out! Leave!”

Two strong arms trap my arms against my body, and I look up through blurry eyes to see Hajoon staring down at me with a clenched jaw.

Suddenly I’m collapsing against him, sobbing into his jacket as I say the same thing over and over again.

“Hobi…”

“Do-yun was nearly there when I last checked in with him.”

I shake my head. “It’s too late.”

“Too late?”

Jihun’s words plummet into my brain like ammunition. “Too late. I should h-have left him alone. It’s all my- my fault.”

I can feel Hajoon shaking his head above me. “That’s not true, Sunny. Don’t believe what that freak said. He was just trying to get under your skin.”

I go to speak again, but Hajoon’s phone begins to ring. Jumping away from him like I just saw a ghost, I watch as he turns serious, angrily wiping my tears away as though they’ll obstruct my hearing.

“Yes sir...I’m here…” He listens for a long moment, nodding. “Ok. Would you like me to contact anyone?”

My stomach drops to my toes. Hajoon quickly finishes the phone call, turning to see my fallen expression.

“Do-yun said to bring you over to Hoseok’s place.”

My eyes widen. “I-is he alright?”

Hajoon grabs my coat from off the rack and nudges my shoes toward me. I hurry to put them on. “Do-yun is clearing the area for any sign of a threat.”

Not an answer.

“But is Hoseok alright?”

Hajoon opens the door wide for me, giving me a confused look. “Of course.”

♟

The drive to Hobi’s apartment is excruciating. I’ve sent him about a million texts and attempted to call him a couple of times, but no answer.

“You did the right thing,” Hajoon gingerly says. He keeps his eyes trained on the road ahead, but I know that he’s wondering if I’m about to start sobbing again. “You remained calm for as long as you could, and gave us valuable information. If you hadn’t called Do-yun-”

“Hajoon.”

He sighs. “Alright.”

By the time we’re pulling up to where he lives, I’m nearly hyperventilating. As I see his house still in one piece and the lights on inside, I let out a sob of relief.

Hajoon has barely had time to throw the car into park before I’m launching myself out of the car, flying up the stairs and tearing open the door.

Do-yun stands talking with Hoseok, who jumps at my sudden entrance.

“H-Hoseok,” I gasp. “I’m so s-sorry-” I rush inside, running straight to him as he opens his arms.

“I’m ok,” he soothes, shooting Do-yun a concerned look over my shoulder. “Breathe, Rin-ah. I’m ok.”

I shake my head, burying myself into Hobi’s shoulder as I cling to him. “No, this wouldn’t have happened if-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Hobi mutters, already reading my mind.

“But-”

“Do-yun, thank you for coming.” Hobi effectively dismisses the bodyguard, slinging his arm around me and pulling me in farther to the apartment. “Did you need anything else, or…?”

“No, no. We’ll just take one last look at the area and call it a night.”

Do-yun’s footsteps echo around the small common area as he heads toward the door, calling out to Hajoon as he opens the door.

I remain in Hobi’s arms while we listen to their muted conversation outside, shaking like a leaf as Hobi tries to calm me down.

“I’m so sorry, Rin-ah,” he mumbles. “I can’t imagine how you must have felt.”

A part of me crumbles at his sincere words, pulling back enough to look up at him with a sorrowful look. “Hobi, this is my fault. I-I thought that you were-”

“Shh,” he whispers, pulling me back into his arms. “You’re exhausted and in shock. How about you take a shower? I’ll grab some clothes for you.”

I blink up at him. “But I need to go home.”

Hobi smiles softly at me, looking at me like I just asked him why the world orbits the sun. “Stay. Just for tonight.”

Grumbling the entire way to the shower, I watch Hoseok’s every move as he brings me some spare clothes, giving me a fresh towel and instructing me on everything that has to do with the shower, almost as though I’ve never used one before.

I keep quiet, not having it in me to tease him about it right now. Not when I’m still struggling to keep it all together.

I could have lost him tonight.

That’s the thought that keeps me company as I stand under the shower, making no move to do anything else. The white tile I’m staring at laughs as me as I try to calm down, but everytime I close my eyes I’m suddenly back at my apartment, standing barefoot in the hallway and completely unable to help the person I love.

If I can’t protect him, should I even be allowed to have him?

I finally manage to get enough energy to wash my hair and body as quickly as possible, spurred on by the same thought as before. I could have lost him.

Turning the shower off and wiping the steam off of the mirror, I stare at my reflection. My makeup which I forgot to take off before showering is running down my cheeks, making my eyes look just as terrifying as I feel at the moment. Scrubbing hard at my face, I listen to the sounds of Hobi moving about the house. A part of me relishes in the fact that I’m here tonight, with him. Especially after so long of not being able to see each other for more than a few hours at a time. It’s been...over a year since I was last here.

Once my face is shiny and clean, I release a long breath. I’m still on edge, but now I’m starting to feel the exhaustion seeping in. From today’s meeting with its tense atmosphere, to creating the new track and now this, it’s been a long day.

“Hobi?” I call out quietly as I step out into the hallway, hissing at the sudden cold now that I’m out of the bathroom.

“In the kitchen!”

Making my way to the kitchen I glance at a few of the new decorations he’s put up. There’s one small painting in particular that I don’t remember being here before, and I pause to look at it.

“Did you get lost?” Hoseok’s arms wrap around my shoulders as he asks the questions, making me nearly jump out of my skin. He laughs, pressing a kiss to my hair. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I mumble, pointing to the painting. “This wasn’t here before.”

“Ah. You haven’t been here in a while.” Pulling me backward, he steers me toward the kitchen. “I made some chamomile. Shall we drink some tea and head to bed?”

“Mmm.”

He chuckles, taking the kettle off the stove. “I’ll take that as a yes.” I watch his lithe fingers as they take two mugs out of the cupboard, the tea steaming as he pours until they’re filled to the brim. Sliding the mug toward me he waits until I’ve grabbed it and hold it in my hands before he turns to clean up.

“I sent Do-yun to your apartment complex to find Jihun’s ex.” Hobi’s back is to me, rinsing off some dishes in the sink as he speaks. “Hopefully she’ll be able to give us some way to find him.”

My eyes widen. “What are they going to do with him?”

Hobi looks at me over his shoulder, his face grim. “Rin-ah, they’re going to arrest him. He’s threatened us openly, and we were foolish enough to think that he’d be satisfied with the money offer. He’s insane. He won’t stop once his pockets are lined.”

Gazing down at my tea, I sigh. “Good.”

Hoseok gives me a surprised gaze. “You were just defending him this morning to Bang PD.”

“I simply wanted him to be handled like a normal person,” I defend. “And this is how normal people should be treated. He’s...scary, and threatening the safety of others. So good. I’m so tired…” I trail off, planting my face in my hands. “I’m so tired of all of this.”

The sound of a stool scraping against the floor alerts me to Hobi sitting across from me. He makes no moe to pull my attention away or make me look at him, instead just opting to be there with me.

“I know.”

There isn’t much else to be said as we slowly drink our tea, staring off into the distance with our heavy thoughts. I wonder what he’s thinking as Hobi’s eyes become clouded with worry.

I don’t get a chance to ask. “You should head to bed,” Hobi whispers into the silence. I nod, slipping off the stool and taking my mug to the sink. “I’ve got it, don’t worry.” He mumbles, gently pulling me away.

“I can wash my dish, Hobi,” I grumble. He shakes his head.

“I know, but it’s my house. Let me wash it. You go to sleep.” We walk down the hallway to the guest room, and the second I enter it I’m drowning in a flood of memories and emotions. If I squint, I’m sure I can see my past self staring up at the ceiling with so much regret.

A glance at Hobi’s face shows me that he’s also remembering what happened the last time we were in this room. For a moment he reverts back to that wounded self, hardly daring to look at me in the eye as he turns down the bed and turns on the bedside lamp. I watch him from the doorway, halfway between a smile and a frown.

“You should be set,” Hobi says with his hands on his hips. “Do you need anything else before I head to bed?”

“I think I’m fine. Thank you,” I say, striding over to him wrapping my arms around his middle. I smile softly as Hoseok sighs in relief, running his hands up and down my arms.

“I love you.”

Those three words uttered from his lips are like ambrosia to my senses, and I relax enough to lean up to brush my lips against his. “I love you.”

♟

I’m back to staring at the ceiling. A glance at my phone has me groaning; it’s only 12:30. Why does it feel like I’ve been laying here for years?

Despite my exhaustion, I can’t stand to close my eyes. My heart begins to pound and suddenly I’m breaking out into a cold sweat as I imagine over and over again different scenarios which all have one thing in common: losing Hobi.

It’s when I’ve had a mini melt down for the fifth time that I swing my legs out of bed, feet finding my slippers in the dark. Padding silently to my door, I open it to find the hallway completely dark.

I keep one hand on the wall as I wander about the apartment, trying to find Hobi’s room in the dark. As I round a corner and see a faint light coming out from under his door, I sigh. It looks like I’m not the only one still awake.

I stand outside of his door for too long, contemplating whether I should just leave him alone and go back to bed, but looking back at the dark hallway I find that I’m too scared to turn back now. The thought of Jihun waiting in the shadows to pounce out at me has me gently cracking the door open, peeking inside Hobi’s room.

He’s sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He doesn’t notice my arrival, keeping his face hidden behind his hands as he takes steadying breaths.

My voice is small as I call out to him. “Hobi?”

Hobi’s head shoots up at my voice, his eyes wide as they land on my figure in the doorway. “Rin-ah, what’s wrong?”

Chewing on my lip like it can save me from embarrassment, I tiptoe into his room until I’m sitting beside him on the bed, clinging to the edge with white knuckles.

“Can I stay in here tonight?”

I didn’t think it was possible for Hobi’s eyes to get any wider, but I’m proven wrong as he slowly nods, his eyes nearly popping out. After a few seconds he finally composes himself, letting out a long breath. “Of course you can. Can’t sleep?”

He sits back against the headboard, gesturing for me to follow. “No,” I admit, coming to sit beside him.

“Come here, I’ll play with your hair.”

I can hear my heart pounding in my ears as I lay my head on his lap, my eyes immediately falling shut as he begins to run his fingers through my hair. It’s quiet, the sound of our breathing the only noise as I’m pulled closer and closer to sleep.

My hand curls around Hobi’s free hand, instinctively holding onto him as his fingers dip down to trace the lines of my face. I’m half asleep when I hear Hobi’s low rumble, hardly able to understand what he’s saying at first.

“...had a hard day. I’m sure you’re exhausted.” He traces my jaw, coming up to my cheekbone. “But you’re so brave, Rin-ah. I should tell you this when you’re actually awake, huh? But if you’re somehow listening to me in your dreams, I want you to know that I think you’re so brave. It’s one of the reasons I love you. You’re my brave, beautiful, quick-witted Rin-ah.”

The bed shifts as Hobi slides to lay down on the bed, my nearly unconscious self hardly noting the movement. He keeps me close, his breath fanning my face as we lay on our sides. His finger traces the slope of my nose one last time before pressing a light kiss to my forehead.

“I got that new painting about...eight months ago?” His voice is soft, lulling me closer to sleep. “It reminded me of you. And for some reason I thought that I needed that. I needed to be reminded of what I lost.” He sighs, the sound weighing on my heart. “I needed to look at that every day and remember what I lost so I would know to cherish it if I ever got a second chance.”

The bed dips and shifts as Hobi rolls to his back, maintaining the grip that I still have on his hand and pulling it up to lay on his chest.

He turns off the lamp, delving us into darkness. “I love you. Always have, always will.”

♟

When I wake up it’s not because the sun is up or because my dreams have driven me awake; it’s because somebody’s holding my hand.

One eye slides open to see Hobi lying beside me, back on his side and my hand still wrapped around his. His hair is a mess, sticking up in different directions and his lips form a pout that I think can only be described as adorable.

I’m in the middle of marveling at how wonderful it is to wake up beside him when the memory of the events of last night barrels into me at full speed.

If things had gone south last night…

It’s that thought that has me taking a deeper look at the man beside me, noting the worry lines and remembering how he sat with his head in his hands last night when I came in, looking for all the world like he was seconds away from a mental breakdown. The thought I had last night re enters my mind unbidden.

If I can’t protect him, am I even allowed to keep him?

Looking across the room to the window I can tell that behind the curtains the world is still dark. It reflects my dark thoughts as Jihun’s voice drifts back to me.

“You should have left him alone, he would have been much better off.”

Brushing back a strand of hair from Hobi’s forehead, I feel the tears pricking as I memorize how he looks right now.

“So beautiful,” I whisper.

Slipping my hand from his and watching how he frowns and grabs the blanket in my absence, I get off the bed as quietly as possible.

The rest is easy. Changing into yesterday’s clothes and grabbing my phone, I leave a note on the fridge. I’m nearly to the door when I stop myself.

I have so rarely been selfish when it comes to Hoseok. I’ve always tried my best to remember that everything has a price, and it’s not one that we’re both willing to pay. We’ve worked too hard to get to where we are now to throw it all away.

Saying yes to him a few weeks ago was the most selfish I’ve been, but it was worth it. For a moment, the pros outweighed the cons. So, continuing for a moment longer in that selfishness, I sneak back down to his room, peeking inside to where he’s still asleep.

His back is turned to me, he hasn’t moved from his previous position. Sighing to myself, I watch as he breathes, still in the throes of sleep. Peaceful.

I hesitate a few seconds longer before heading back to where my shoes were kicked off beside the door. Glancing at the painting of downtown Seoul with a bus in the background, I close the door as quietly as possible.

♟

Sending off the text and attached files to Pdogg, I sling my backpack over my shoulder and wince at the weight. Between the backpack and the duffle bag I’m carrying, I’m definitely getting my workout in.

I double check the slip of paper in my hand, hoping that I’m not too late. Announcements are being made over the PA, but they’re not loud enough to drown out the sound of my phone ringing nonstop. I drop my dufflebag to silence my phone, giving an apologetic look to the people around me.

In the end, there was one comment that Jihun made that actually made sense to me.

“What are you going to do, take the bus?”

A dark bus appears in the distance and people begin to line up to board. I join the line, squinting to make sure that this is the right one. When the bus lights up with the words Daegon/Daegu/Busan I roll my shoulders in preparation for the long ride.

Out of habit I keep my head down, praying that nobody here will recognize me from work. If Bighit managed to catch wind of my plans that quickly, I’d be impressed. But I doubt that they’ll realize what I’ve done until later.

If only Hoseok would stop calling me, that would make it all so much easier.

A young man smiles at me as he politely offers to help me with my bags. I let him store my duffel bag below the bus, opting to keep my backpack with me.

Only a few minutes later we’re rolling out of the station. My eyes take in the sights and sounds of Seoul, aching as I see the Bighit building in the distance.

“Where are you heading?” A chipper young girl asks beside me. “I’m going to Daegon to spend the week with my grandma. Are you visiting family?”

I chew on the inside of my cheek, my eyes watching the Bighit building until it’s out of sight. “No, I’m moving.”

“Really? You don’t have a lot of things if you’re moving. Where are you moving to?”

I finally get a good look at her, almost laughing when she’s wearing a BTS shirt. Life is cruel.

“Me? Busan.”

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taglist: @taylorroe3 @dreamcatcherjiah @diorhoba @eusticenatalie @ddaeng-i-need-help

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spencersawkward · 3 years

Text

switchblade faith//spencer reid - chapter 6

summary: one month after joining the BAU, Clea is still settling in. between solving murders and getting acclimated to DC, the only comfortable thing in her life is her friendship with Dr. Spencer Reid.

relationship: Fem!OC/Spencer

content warnings: discussion of mental illness (schizophrenia)

word count: 4.4k

masterlist

the thing about growing up in a place where there are so many dinosaur fossils is that you start to search for them everywhere. my friends and I, in elementary school, saw the enormous bones, those huge sockets where eyes used to sit. and even though there was nothing in them now, they seemed to glare back at us. if you stood right in front, face-to-face, it felt like looking down the barrel of a gun. a several-ton, reptilian gun. petrifying.

and it wasn't like there was much to do in Montana, anyway. sometimes the sheer expanse of that place, especially if we drove a bit out of town, was enough to put fear in me. like we'd been abandoned there.

when my mom got her migraines, I dug holes in the front yard. occasionally, I'd find something-- a funnily-shaped rock, usually-- and it would look enough like a dinosaur tooth that for a moment I'd deceive myself into thinking that I'd made a discovery. it didn't matter that actual remnants would be buried much, much further in the ground than I could turn with my small hands. but I liked the slight rush it sent through my body, seeing what other people hadn't. sitting back on my heels and brushing off the excess, the only thing I could hear was my breath. there's something quite serene about that, the focusing in on something which normally I would never think about. my heart pounding. and I collected my findings so that I would be able to put them together again when there were enough pieces.

but this doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, particularly not when I'm short on time and staring at an upsettingly pathetic evidence board.

"the unsub said we needed a book, didn't he?" Spencer brings me to attention. there's an unfolded paper on the board that Hotch's wife dropped off an hour ago. he's talking to her in his office about who delivered it; we don't know anything else. all it has is a bunch of numbers written in neat black ink.

"yep." I bite the end of my pen and frown. "one that 'inspired many an adventure.'"

"then it's a book code," Reid says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. I arch an eyebrow and he continues. "each one of these sets of numbers represents a specific word. page 118, line 30, word 3." he points one long finger at a certain spot, and I follow it.

"so we just need to figure out what the words are and fill in the blanks," I lean forward in my chair, cradling a cup of coffee that's starting to grow cold. "except what book are we looking for?"

"I don't know," he shrugs. I lean back in my seat; if Reid doesn't know, we're all screwed. "the thing is that it has to be the exact same edition of the exact same book."

"that's encouraging." I sigh. the useless feeling puts me in a bad mood. we're wasting time by sitting and learning nothing. although there's nowhere to go.

I'm not sure how long we're there; hours, at least. night becomes less heavy, hues of a purplish pink sky slotting through the blinds and reminding me of just how exhausted I am. not enough to sleep. bone-tired.

Spencer crosses his arms, leans his chin on his fist and stares at the numbers like they'll suddenly make sense. and maybe they will; I don't know how his head works. some miracle that has eluded us for the past few hours might appear now. but the longer I stare, the more confused I get. instead, I start to sift through the pile of other evidence pieces scattered around the table. we could be missing something.

"you know, I can understand how this guy got our addresses and phone numbers, but there's no way all that information about JJ's butterfly obsession or Rossi's trips to baseball games would be in our personnel files." I frown. those things wouldn't be relevant.

Spencer isn't even listening to me, though. he's muttering to himself, eyes flickering over the floor.

"'never would it be night, but always clear day to any man's sight,'" he says it more loudly, then finally focuses on me. "it sounds familiar-- I think I've heard it somewhere before."

I also get the feeling that I've heard it before, except it keeps slipping my memory. a lot of rhyming poetry leaves my mind after I finish reading it, and I don't want to lead us in the wrong direction, either. he uncaps a dry erase marker and hurries over to the white board, writing "Possible Book Titles" in messy scrawl, staring at it. I watch him for a moment, the way he talks to himself as he works through his thoughts, certain words floating in the air.

"how many books do you think are published every year?" I ask. maybe if we can narrow that down, we can get a better perspective on how to proceed. Spencer doesn't even look up.

"thousands. easily." he sighs dejectedly. and then his head snaps up. "year... every year."

he spins and starts to push all the evidence bags aside on the table, scrambling to grab something. I don't know what to say about his fervent behavior. I'm speechless when he finds the baseball card. he shoves it in my face. "1963."

"what about it?" I take the card.

"if the book has to be the right volume and the right publication date, why is this from 1963?"

his eyes are enormous. wide pupils that urge me to catch onto his line of thought. for a moment, I have no idea what he's talking about. my eyes run over the baseball card for what feels like the millionth time, examining the date. I slam the thing down on the table and we look at each other.

"Rossi said 1959." I say. he nods.

"so the book must be from 1963, or it wouldn't fit the pattern," Reid straightens and runs his hands through his hair, his spine finally straightening as he takes a deep breath. I can practically sense the electric current that radiates from his body while he thinks. "I'm gonna go ask Garcia about something."

he's gone before I have a chance to respond.

...

the rest of the day gets really weird really fast. as all of us are focused on finding the unsub, I fall into a daze. I don't eat, don't drink anything other than tankards of coffee while my eyes start to burn from looking at the board.

we've finished talking on the phone to a librarian at some facility in Virginia, where the exact edition of the book we've been seeking is housed. it took about half an hour for us to go through each blank in the code with her. somehow, that prompted Spencer to think of his mom, so he called her and requested she be flown out here from Las Vegas immediately. the whole time he's on the phone, he rocks back and forth on his heels and keeps glancing at me.

I pretend to be focused on the pile of evidence, not wanting to intrude. he already told me about his mom, and I'm assuming this has something to do with her being a professor of medieval literature. it's not really my place to question it.

when he hangs up, he doesn't say anything to me. there's quite literally nothing else for us to do. I clear my throat, lick my lips, and sit a bit straighter. he's still standing with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"um," I wrack my mind for anything that would take our minds off the waiting. "do you wanna play cards?"

Spencer tries to smile. it looks more like a wince as he nods. with Prentiss and Morgan talking to the guy who delivered the code papers and Hotch and Rossi on their way to interview the parents of the missing girl (whose name is Rebecca Bryant, apparently), we're kind of aimless.

I head to the bullpen to grab my favorite deck, then return and close the door behind me. there are plenty of other employees out there bustling around, and the noise probably won't help his anxiety. he's sitting in the chair next to where I was, leaning his elbow against the table while he presses his knuckles to his temple. he looks incredibly pensive.

"here." I plop down next to him.

"thanks."

"mhmm." instead of starting a conversation, I just shuffle the deck. the only sounds are the flutter of paper against paper and the slap of the cards on the table's surface. his eyes follow the movements of my hands, the way I bend and mix them up, before eventually dealing them out.

it should be awkward, but it's not. the weight of his thoughts fills enough of the space for the both of us; I can practically hear him running through scenarios in his mind, ever.

we start to play for a couple minutes in silence, and I'm in shock when he's the one who initiates a game of war. all I do is smile to myself as the pile in the middle of the table begins. we get caught up in it; both of us are tense, and he finally slaps his hand down on the pile before I do. my hand is covering his, evidence of my defeat.

"hey!" he cheers, looking up at me with a surprised grin and dragging the pile towards him. I narrow my eyes.

"I was distracted." I roll my eyes.

"yeah?" he starts to laugh as he sets forth another card. "by what? how I'm crushing you?"

"you get one hand and suddenly you're the master, now, huh?" I can't help but giggle. he nods and smiles like, yeah, pretty much. I scoff and we continue to play. halfway through the next round, he speaks up.

"I forgot she always used to read me that poem."

"what poem?" I frown.

"The Parliament of Fowls-- it's how we figured out the book title."

the name slides into place for me at last. I must have read it in college or something, because it didn't leave that big of an imprint on my memory.

"Chaucer?" I raise an eyebrow. his head startles up from staring at the table.

"yeah." he smiles a little.

"I'm not entirely stupid." I wink before setting down another card. he makes a noncommittal noise.

he seems to get uncomfortable, shifting, then gives up on his previous train of thought. "it's kind of funny, isn't it?"

I just give him an inquisitive look.

"I should have realized sooner. nobody knows things like the fact that JJ collected butterflies except for me." he isn't looking at me, but I notice that he does seem more relaxed than before. his shoulders aren't so hunched over, and there's even a hint of a thoughtful smile on his face.

"that's sweet." I reply softly.

"people tell me their secrets all the time," he stops putting out cards. I stop, too, although he doesn't even notice that we're no longer playing the game. his back is reclined in the chair. "I think it's because they know I don't have anyone to betray them to."

my heart sinks in my chest at the implication. his tone is a bit melancholy, but there's something else in it, too, that I can't quite place. like a resigned loneliness. I want to say something, though I'm not sure what. and I don't think it would make a difference anyway. he continues on before I have to, thankfully.

"except my mom. I tell her... pretty much everything." he looks up at me when he says the last part, smiling. his eyes sparkle, and something about the low tone of voice and the way he gives up all of this at once makes me think that Spencer hasn't spent much time telling his own secrets. only hearing others', storing them away.

"I don't think anyone would mind." I reply.

"you know, I write her a letter every day." his laugh is really lovely. my heart stutters.

"I think that's nice."

"well, it depends on why I write her."

"what do you mean?" this time I frown, my fingertips fidgeting with each other under the table. I hate that I'm nervous right now, worried that I'll somehow ruin the moment.

"I write her letters... so that I don't feel so guilty about not visiting her." each syllable like its own individual battle for him.

the admission is like a cement block between us, something ridiculously heavy that he has compressed and repressed until it's too solid to hide anymore. and he's avoiding contact when he says it, and the moments after. his fingertips mess around with a stray paper clip, twisting the thing into oblivion.

"did you know that schizophrenia is genetically passed?" he asks, then peeks up to gauge my reaction. schizophrenia.

"how long has she been diagnosed?" my own eyes are barely able to hold his. everything in my body wants to reach out and hug him, even though that would only ruin this. Spencer isn't a fan of physical touch.

"since before I was born," he shrugs, poking his palm with the end of the paper clip. "she was on meds but didn't get placed in Bennington until I was eighteen." this also seems to be bitter in his mouth. "you get used to it. it's just... I won't know for a while."

I nod. it likely won't manifest for a couple years with him, but that only puts a ticking clock over his head. and, judging by the way his body is sinking into the swivel chair, he senses it constantly. I wish I could tell him that he doesn't have it, that he won't have it, except I can't. there's no way for anyone to find out right now.

"I'm sorry, Spence." it's a weak thing to say-- stupid, really. I've never had a way with words. instead, I pour every ounce of my emotion into it. I don't want him to feel alone. I guess I'm sorry for that, too, along with everything else. nobody deserves to deal with that by themselves.

"it's okay," he smiles. "it is what it is, right?"

"I mean, I think it's a little more complicated than that. but yeah." wow, really fucking eloquent. he chuckles at this, though, brushing his fingers over the top of his deck of cards. he flips the top one over and we return to playing, leaving the conversation to lie open between us.

...

my body feels like it's been dragged through a corn field by the time we get back to the office. I think I'm still a little in shock, honestly. this whole day has been jam-packed with things, easily the most intense case I've had yet. my morning was occupied by a code-cracking book search, then a series of out-of-place card games with Reid, then his mother arrived and I left them to talk so as not to overwhelm her.

we rescued Rebecca Bryant-- Spencer did, I mean. it was chivalric, how he went into the house and tried to talk down her kidnapper (who happened to be her father). the guy blew himself up, and Morgan tells me that they barely got out of the way in time. I was on the main level with Hotch, trying to find Rebecca. again, Reid came to the rescue with that eidetic memory, recalling the puzzle pieces and a photograph that included an illuminated basement light. the key he received in the mail slipped into her shackles with ease, unlocking her before we carried her out onto the lawn and watched the house burn into an ash-covered shell of itself. I remember the way the smoke billowed into the air, how sparks fluttered out of the windows and dissipated into nothingness.

I stood there like a rock, Reid stumbling up next to me. his face was covered in a sheen of sweat, and his hair was curlier than usual. the heat must have ruined whatever he usually used to smooth it down.

"hey." I'd said, putting my hand on his shoulder as if to offer some kind of stability. he glanced at me with something like unease, then tried to straighten up.

"hi."

"I heard you were a hero in there."

"did Morgan say that?"

"yeah, why?" I laughed. Reid chuckled, shook his head slowly.

"he's teasing me."

"for what?" I frowned.

"pure irony. you know how he always calls me 'pretty boy' and stuff?"

"I sure do." my fist came up to softly slug him in the shoulder. Spencer stumbled a bit and my eyes went wide as I tried to right him before he fell. he made a face as he regained his footing and then I giggled. "you okay, there?"

"I'm fine." he tried to be annoyed, but he was hiding a smile.

"is Rebecca gonna be okay?" I nodded to the ambulance, where he had just spent the past couple minutes talking to the paramedics and checking her condition.

"she'll be okay-- physically, I mean."

"seriously," I watched them close the doors to the vehicle, closing her up inside before they sped off to the hospital. "two years in there."

he nodded and we started to walk to our cars to meet up with the team and head to the office. we both knew his mother was still at Quantico, probably anxiously awaiting his return after she helped him crack the case. but he didn't seem to want to talk about it, so I asked something else that was on my mind.

"do you ever go back and look at old cases?"

"old cases?" he stared at the ground beneath his feet, kicking up the gravel as a way to distract himself. I cleared my throat.

"like, ones that you guys have solved. have you ever gone back and checked to see how the victims are doing now?"

"I haven't worked here long enough for that, really." he had shrugged. I remember how the air felt in my lungs, a little bit poisoned by smoke. still breathable as I inhaled it deeply.

"really makes you think."

"what do you mean?"

"'saving' people has to be more than just sweeping them out of harm's way at the last second, right?" I put air-quotes around the word.

he thinks this over, nodding.

"sorry, I know you're tired." one look at him and I realized that the question I'd posed was one for another time. he walked like there was some unconscionable weight on his shoulders, like he didn't think he deserved his moment of glory for saving that girl's life-- and ours, probably, too.

he looks the same now, pushing the glass doors of the BAU open and immediately focusing in on the windows of the conference room, where the blinds have been lowered to make Diana feel safer. I watch as he runs up the stairs, returning to her as soon as possible.

I wonder what it is to love someone that much, that fear for their well-being that puts you on edge.

Emily places a hand on my shoulder.

"you okay?" she asks, draws my attention away from the closed door of the round table room. I smile and nod cheerfully.

"yep. just ready to go to bed."

"no kidding," she scoffs, slamming her go-bag on her desk. "I feel like I've been up for days."

"so it wasn't just me?" I laugh as I set my things in my own space. she shakes her head slowly and Morgan walks over, his own gait seemingly heavy with exhaustion.

"plans for tonight, ladies?" he jokes.

"with my couch and takeout." Emily replies. once my bag is all packed up, she and Morgan and I wander out of the office. Rossi stops us at the last minute, joining before we head into the hallway to take the elevator downstairs.

I peek once to see Hotch sitting in his office, settled in with the light on like he's been there all day. my brain almost short-circuits at the thought of doing more work in any capacity right now.

"does he ever sleep?" I ask quietly as though he can hear me from all the way over here. Rossi glances at the unit chief through the window, shaking his head slowly and letting out the kind of knowing chuckle that only older people have.

"nope."

"wait," Morgan sees our small grouping, almost does a head count as JJ emerges from her office and sidles up silently next to me while we wait for the steel doors to open. "where's the kid?"

"Spence is flying his mom back to Vegas." JJ replies right away. when I saw him disappear into that room, I knew they wouldn't leave for a while; moving her around so much can't be good for her mental state. but I guess they're eager to get her to the sanitarium, which also makes sense.

"oh, okay." Morgan shrugs. I chance a look in that direction. the blinds are still drawn. Medieval literature. huh. part of me begins to think about all the things she must know, must have passed down to Reid.

...

"I'm gonna say... three." my voice is uncertain at first, but then the flavor coats my tongue and I smack my lips. "yeah."

Spencer's nonresponse is damning. I hear the puff of air he exhales in frustration as I lift the sleeping mask up from my eyes. I got it from my go-bag; we've decided to repurpose it for the morning in the office. technically, we could just close our eyes and keep it simple, but I thought it would be sort of funny because there are two huge cartoon eyes printed on the front.

"I'm right, aren't I?" I smirk, eyes landing on his crossed arms and taut expression. he shrugs.

"I think you're cheating."

"how am I cheating?" I laugh.

"I don't know, but you are." he shakes his head as I wrap my fingers around the handle and take a sip of the coffee. we're taste-testing to see who's better at finding the sugar content. it's become a pattern of ours: I make him a cup and he makes me one and then we drop in the sugar packets while the other keeps their eyes covered. it's actually pretty fun, especially because I'm good at it.

"your turn, then." I take off the sleeping mask and hand it over to him. he slips the thing over his eyes and waits patiently for me to put the sugar packets in. I chew on my bottom lip as I decide what number to do.

as I do this, JJ stands behind my shoulder.

"nap time, Spence?" she asks him with a chuckle. I explain before he has the opportunity to slander me with more cheating accusations.

"we're trying to see how good we are at detecting the number of sugars." I pick up six packets, knowing it'll definitely overload his senses. this'll teach him to call me a liar. JJ's eyes widen.

"cover your ears, Reid, I don't want you to hear me tearing them open." I order. he obliges, and I can sense the frown on his face while I dump in the sweetener.

"okay." I mix it with the stirrer before placing it in front of him.

"this thing smells like lavender." he observes randomly in reference to my sleeping mask.

"it's got scented stuff inside the fabric." I say.

"interesting. did you know that lavender is actually proven to be much more effective than--"

"Spence, just drink the coffee. I have to go talk to Hotch about something and I wanna see how this ends." JJ cuts him off light-heartedly. I purse my lips because I was sort of interested in what he was going to say, but he takes the not-so-subtle hint and lifts the mug.

I expect him to be repulsed by the sweetness, or at least to show some kind of discomfort. however, he takes a long draw before setting it on the table. his hand clutches onto the mug, still, as he pulls the mask off.

"five. this is my usual concoction." he clenches his jaw in complete seriousness. I have to fight an enormous grin, though it just turns into me twisting my mouth to the side of my face and JJ raising her eyebrows in surprise.

"what? am I wrong?" he gets nervous, voice going up an octave as he glances between the two of us. JJ averts her eyes, smiling.

"you lose!" I cackle, throwing my hand up for JJ to high-five. Spencer looks at me like I've stolen his life's savings.

"no! there's no way--"

"I forgot how many you usually put in there and I still won." I feign an awed expression.

"it's okay, Spence. you can always practice." JJ pats his shoulder sympathetically and then leaves us, running up the stairs to Hotch's office. I'm still smirking triumphantly as he glares at me.

"don't hate the player," I sigh, throwing my hands up. "hate the game."

"well, the player also happened to invent the game, so I think I'm entitled." he counters. I snort at his quickness.

"can I try this?" I point to the mug. "I've never had one with six."

he pushes the drink in my direction with his fingertips, almost having given up on trying to fight the loss. "there were six? that's only one off."

"yeah, but you need to get it right to win, dummy." I take a sip of the coffee. it's so sweet, though, that I shake my head and set it back down. "what in God's name is that?"

"you made it!" I sort of like the way his voice gets higher-pitched when he's vehement about something. it's cute.

"I wish I hadn't." I shove it over to him, half-expect that he'll not touch it now that I've taken a drink from it. but he continues to take ingest the caffeine, undeterred. I quirk an eyebrow silently, watching him.

"what?" he asks.

"nothing," I stand up. "come on, we should get some work done. I don't want Hotch to come down here and yell at us."

#baby spence #baby spencer reid #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #fanfic #slow burn #friends to lovers

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