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#I’ve been getting those a lot lately
stargirldelight · 4 months
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i don’t see myself having enough time to write till next summer. stuff seems so crazy.
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autisticlancemcclain · 6 months
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Hey! I just wanted to say I love your writing a lot and I really appreciate how much you’ve added to the klance community! I love writing klance fics but have such a hard time getting myself to write consistently and I just want to say how impressed I am with you and how much you inspire me to want to keep writing!
thank you <33333 and ur so real with the motivation thing it’s HARD. i used to write and post daily and i miss it so bad, i miss doing that, but there’s a difference between like having ideas and being able to write them!! i am manifesting ur success right next to mine bestie i’ll look at the stars and pray rly hard tonight
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peapod20001 · 7 months
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I’m the type that can and will cry if think too hard <3
#random post#me tag ∠( ᐛ 」 ) |/#I’m not an overly emotional person in the stereotypical way. but I do get in my feels when thinking about life and the experience of living#I’m like. constantly explaining things to myself cus there’s never really a time or place to talk about it#also my method of explaining things is very not coherent sometimes. so it takes me a bit to really get my point across in a comprehensible#way. I’m a big thinker. I have many thoughts and ideas a views. a daily thing of mine is noticing problems#and then fixing them in my head with thought out explanations and motives and outcomes#it’s like I’m talking to someone else. much like how I format my text posts. that’s how my inner monologue is#me talking to myself is actually me talking to someone else. someone that isn’t real#anyways it’s a daily occurrence. every day of my life is spent with thoughts similar to those breaking down a movie#lots of thoughts from adhd. compulsive thoughts from ocd. overwhelming thoughts from autism. distressing thoughts from bpd#ya. this isn’t a vent I just need to like. see the thoughts in writing so I can do smth else. like eat this muffin ive been staring at for#over an hour now <3 mmmbfbg yea muffins are hard to eat now cus I had some with mold and food mold especially is a big nono for me#spend like. five minutes examining the damn thing before I even consider taking a bite. I’m very hungry an thirsty </3#when your mouth is so dry you can taste your own mouth 👍 I’m experiencing#nothing in particular. just experiencing. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I like having an experience and living#drank my tea and I had like. hallucinations of like an alcohol prep pad. I’ve been using those in my ear cus. tmi. had a pimple that’s#causing problems so mom suggested that. it burned! which means it worked so word. I’ve noticed lately that both me AND my family have been#using ‘word’ a lot. dad says we’ve been saying it but no we haven’t. if we had I’d have BEEN saying it. maybe we’ve used it before for a bit#but now it’s back. idk. I’ve said it in class on more than one occasion lmao I don’t look like the type to say smth like that but whatever#it’s like when I used to say bro after every sentence like 10 years ago lol. we’re a family of parrots we repeat eachother a lot#I started saying I love you out of no where and they started doing it too. we whistle at eachother from across the house. sing ear worms#together. quote funny things at every opportunity and drive the joke into the ground. everyone in this house is a different kind of mentally#I’ll and it’s the most beautiful clash of personalities because we’re all so annoying and we love eachother so much and also our#communication is shit because some ppl have hearing loss and another is a short fused child and some are quick to interrupt and some dont#get a word in and some just can’t explain and some can’t understand. we get there eventually at some point. we don’t get the full grasp of#how much we love eachother yet. but we’re gettin there. anyways this went into several different directions but they’re all good ones#I think. if you read all this good on you! this is my brain 24/7/365 haha ok love you
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floral-hex · 17 days
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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emily-mooon · 4 months
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I feel mad >:(
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dadbots · 7 months
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August… time to get spooky.
#dadbots.txt#this has been in my draft for... almost a month. Yikes.#I’ve been dissociating hella hard these past months or something. swear I don’t remember time moving this fast. maybe it’s just me tbh.#idk what to say about July other than… boring? not much happened and I don’t really remember it if I’m honest. just. mm. shrugs.#best way to describe it LOL#been sleeping a LOT lately and I think it’s fatigue again. was it like anything before? no. not at that rate (yet) but just.#where you wanna sleep and sleep and sleep type of fatigue. you never feel rested and just gotta sleep it off kinda.#just one of those moments yknow.#it sucks. all I’m doing is letting the days pass me by and ‘missing out’ on living life when I could be enjoying it. but I lost interest -#- in doing so for months - years now due to personal health matters. And whaddya know - it came back again. after months of healing.#I'm pretty pissed as it does feel like a slap in the face. but you win some - you lose some. Gonna try and fight through it.#I wrote something at the beginning of august but that got deleted. Had a breakdown and thought huh. what a great way to start the month -#and now it's almost september. Just like that. What a month it's been. Stuck on what else to say but that really.#don't want to keep talking about depressing stuff as that's what i used to do and realized hey. maybe you should stop doing that so often#and not use it so casually in humor and/or stuff. Even though I reblog vents here n' all. but yknow.#maybe it is hypocritical. but that's not the point. Just want to reflect and see if i've changed since coming back to the web after a year.#not like it's going bad. just wished this year was a bit more optimistic. Last year was rough & i'm afraid this year will be another repeat#though I did come out to a family member this month and that was like a punch to the gut. Considering my status with them and all.#won't get into that. for now let's just say i'm not too close with them. An impulsive choice on my end but hey. it went well.#and that's what matters tbh. My younger self would've thought i was actually insane. like to even DO that? really?#shocking. I'm still not over that moment. Probably one of my biggest achievements this year.#I'll update this if anything else comes to mind. none of this make sense and that's ok. clearing my mind right now.#let's see what september has in store for me. Hopefully it'll get better as things slow down w/ winter on its way.#hope y'all enjoyed your summer. 🖤🤘🏽
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bumblinfool · 5 months
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Not everyone will understand me and that’s okay. I have been blessed with life and time. The right people will understand.
I’m just as good as anybody, I’m just as bad as anybody. As long as I do my best to be kind, I can trust in the process. Forgive my self and others. Hurt is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to destroy us.
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cr0wc0rpse · 5 months
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Upset because tonight I was going to shower and do my T shot right after but when I went downstairs to grab my speaker I had to take care of the kitchen first and that took a while and then when I went back upstairs it was already 11:30pm so playing music would be a risk (parents asleep) and then my brother got in the shower before I could so if I showered after I wouldn’t be able to play my music and by the time he left the bathroom I lost my energy to shower. This was the first day where I actually Felt and Noticed how gross I feel and took note of when I last showered and now I have to go to bed like this. It sucks so bad
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sanchoyo · 6 months
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I’ve never seen tmm furry designs that quite meet my desires to see them as bright neon sparkledog type furries. Should I just bite the bullet and do it myself 🧍🏻
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girlvinland · 1 year
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I’m happy, I finally got a jewelry box specifically for my Bloodmilk stuff bc I was tired of keeping everything just in the boxes they came in, and it’s kind of satisfying to see things laid out together. Still a fairly small collection and I’m waiting on one thing to come in the mail, but it’s been fun working on getting pieces of jewelry I really like and that mean a lot to me.
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theartinmyheart · 1 year
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.
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westernsunshine · 1 year
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There’s something weirdly nice about finding out you’re not the only person who dislikes someone. It’s such a relief to be able to be like “okay thank God I can bitch about this person now”
#was (gently) complaining to my grandparents about two of my neighbours (who happen to be best friends with my mom and my stepdad)#and my granddad said ‘to be honest i’m fairly neutral about j [the woman] but i’ve never liked r [her husband]’#and i was like ‘oh thank GOD’#and just started airing my grievances#to be honest it was a fairly safe bet though because my grandma likes approximately two people in the world and those are me and mabel#and my granddad has a world class bullshit detector. he’s kind of like me in that he’s mild-mannered and will be civil to people#he doesn’t like; but he will avoid having to be around them at all costs#so i kind of knew that he wouldn’t like these people#like R is genuinely awful. he’s one of the most obnoxious people i’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting. he’s in his late sixties#but behaves like a twelve year old boy. it’s absolutely horrendous. he’s rude to wait staff; tries to guilt me into hugging him#(i never have and never will); is constantly breaking his laptop and acting like an absolute baby when he has to request tech support#(i did tech support for him ONCE and thereafter i’ve been pretending to be illiterate); and he bullies people in his hobby#just generally not a good man. the One thing i somewhat like about him is he’s nice to animals#kim and freddie both loved him and he was surprisingly really gentle and patient with them. mabel also seems to like him#but she loves big men so that was sort of a given#meanwhile J is just… she’s also obnoxious but not to the same level. but she does annoy the hell out of me#we’re both knitters but we have a completely different approach to the hobby (which honestly isn’t surprising because like.. i challenge you#to find two knitters who do the same things lol) and she feels the need to belittle a lot of what i do#like my love of knitting in the round; my complete inability to get the hang of embroidery; how slow i knit; etc.#she knits exclusively on long straight needles; lightning fast; and she makes mostly stuffed animals and dolls for kids#which i think is fantastic! it’s really difficult imo. i made literally one chicken and getting all its features right took so much#out of me that i’ve never made an animal since. partly because i really dislike sewing and embroidery honestly#she sees these things as a personal failure on my part and she’s also kind of derisive of how slow i knit which….. it’s not a race??#i don’t sell stuff on the craft booths like she does so i’m not bound to a deadline. 90% of what i make is a gift and the other 10%#is stuff for me that i thought would be cool. or i just wanted to learn a technique. and i’m primarily a process knitter anyway#i do it to help me focus on tv or podcasts because otherwise i just Cannot#… this became a rant i wasn’t intending to have. suffice to say; i don’t like my mom’s friends lol#it’s not anyone’s fault. they’re just loud and obnoxious and give me opinions i never asked for#personal
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kelleycubes · 1 year
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You’re really incredibly funny and the way you jump from bit to bit or add on/take a bit to another level so easily and quickly is so natural and truly makes for zero dull moments watching any stream with you in it. Like I’m always having fun. You never miss, one could say. You’re really good at what you do and I’m glad that you do it.
AUUUUGHH you’re sweeties!! ❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️
I’m honestly just overjoyed to get to goof off and make jokes with my friends and you guys!! Hopefully one day I can do it full time,,!
anyways, here’s some Kelley lore: my bit brain only exists bc my family used to have 8 hours of car trip a WEEK and we would fill that time up telling stories, one sentence at a time, from person to person- or rather me and my dad would and my brother would instantly KILL the story in one sentence and I was always so desperate to keep it going I’d end up going on wild tangents just to keep John McMonsterfucker Alive and then he’d kill John again but with a gun that also evaporates you and I just wanted to
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YA KNOW??
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yampidimp · 1 year
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I feel like one of the reasons some people self deprecate as a way to attention-seek is that it’s frowned upon to just ask people to give you attention
I remember talking to my friends from a few years ago and whenever I was directly like “hey I am having a really bad time and I would really like to spend some time with you guys right now because it would help” it seemed to make them uncomfortable or they were just like “idk how to handle that bye”
Plus it’s very common for people to talk about wanting attention as if it’s a bad thing to want people to notice and interact with and love you. Yeah the methods are often not helpful but what can someone do except hide it behind something when wanting attention is considered bad and others will often judge them for needing that
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bushido-jack · 1 year
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//Something I relate to with Samurai Jack, is that feeling of life finding every opportunity to push you back down, to kick your legs out from under you, bring you to your knees, leave you screaming, in pain, desperate, on fire. And yet to persevere, not just for your sake, but because you don’t see any other way. And somehow, even limping, you’ll find a way to wring out peace, happiness, contentment, love, and passion from this never ending path of pain. If you are to suffer, but there is no other way, there must be joy to be gripped with white knuckles and hungry claws, to fight for peace and to strive for hope even in the midst of all your anger and confusion and despair.
I may feel like there’s no way out, but I’ve got to keep moving. There are people out there depending on me to not give up. I can’t let these forces trying to cut my journey to an abrupt end win— even if I’m tired, even if I feel like it’s too much. When I feel alone, I let my mind picture what they’d want, I let myself mourn and wonder and wish, but I don’t let it give up. I can’t go see you yet. I have more to do. Watch me and I will see you when my work is done. But I will hold onto you for all of my life. I will make my life a service to you, my actions a memorial that can be trailed to you. In every move I make I will tell the ones I love, gone and with me, “this is for you, this is for you,” and when I live, even with tears and anger and joy, “this is for you.”
#『名誉: musings』#『 out of robes 』#『 meta 』#『 sharkie chews the scenery 』#//and maybe someday once the oppressive darkness doesn’t feel so close I can say ‘this is for me too’.#//hi guys I bet you weren’t surprised when I didn’t actually start rping again after trying to come back#//that’s because I posted that promo got zero response and felt discouraged#//and then life threw every awful thing it had at me.#//I feel like haven’t been able to do anything but fight to survive lately. been in a bad place#//and right as new year’s started I lost a very very beloved friend and pet unexpectedly and too soon#//I’ve lost a lot of loved ones these past few years. it builds up. I think this last loss was the most unexpected though.#//since then I’ve been in a worse state mentally that I probably have been since high school#//but I refuse to give up hope because that’s what helped me climb out of my last endless pit#//I’ve been really wanting to write Jack again since I posted the promo but haven’t really had much I could do#//plus I’ve been battling all this irl stuff and it’s made it hard to find much left over for hobbies#//but I’m posting this both as a love letter for jack and for those here I care about#//and to say I’m still here. I won’t abandon Jack I don’t think. he means too much to me#//I’m thinking if I start rping him again I’m going to worry less about cosmetics and worry more about getting something written#//I’ve been worried about trying to be presented in a nice aesthetic fashion but tbh I think that’s blocking me from actually doing things#//I’d like to do a soft restart and maybe focus more on the people I know have talked to me and talk to them#//hopefully you will have me back after to much time away and waffling to get started again. I had decent reasons but still#//being away does a lot to severe decent connections#//anyway. Jack means Hope and Healing to me. no matter how much he goes through it isn’t about the pain.#//it’s about the Herculean yet incredibly human task of overcoming constant and monumental odds because you care.#//because at your core is hope and passion and love.#//I‘ve been crying writing this so it’s probably very sappy and unpolished but I’m not sorry lol#//listening to my old playlists I used to play on loop whenever writing Jack or thinking about him and it made me emotional
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aceredshirt13 · 1 year
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not trying to start shit just. so tired of the “proshippers dni” nonsense. People in the world are literally dying every day at the hands of broken healthcare and cruel government systems and you’ve chosen to care about fandom ships, bro? Seriously? Is it that hard to block tags of things you think are fucked up? (The answer is no, because I block tags of things I think are fucked up all the time.) Every day I relate more to that post that says “not a ‘proshipper’ or an ‘antishipper’ but a secret third thing called ‘adult with job’”
same deal with queer identity policing btw. I could not care less whether or not someone is calling themselves an mspec or bi/pan lesbian as long as they are comfortable and happy with the label. the queer community is being hunted by conservative bigots who want us erased at best or dead at worst. stop fighting over semantics that don’t matter. who cares if a label doesn’t make sense to me? is something only valid because it makes sense to you as an individual? are astrophysics and tonal languages and religion not valid or real because I don’t personally understand them? insanity
anyway sorry for the rant. been seeing these sorts of things on people’s accounts and just had enough one day. the people with these things in their bios are the people who have harassed me in zines and on Twitter and I truly don’t need that anymore.
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